Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - One on One with Steve Byrne

Episode Date: October 29, 2017

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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com. Welcome to the You Know What Dude podcast. This is a special edition where Robert goes one on one with some of the most interesting people in the world. Or at least in his world. So sit back and relax, and enjoy. You know what, dude?

You know what, dude? I know what, dude. The you know what, dude, podcast. One, on one. One, on one. So I'm here with Steve Bern. We just left the restaurant. What'd you think? Great.

Yeah? Good. Yeah. The Vietnamese food? Very good. Yeah. What's your favorite Asian food? Asian food?

I have no idea? Korean barbecue. Korean barbecue is probably, it's gotta be the top. The best in my mom is so good. Oh, your mom is the best. She just, she finally, after years and years of like, her cooking for me, I said, mom, you gotta just teach me. So she came over last time and gave me the recipe Really? and walked me through it and I did it two or three times while she was in town and

Now I've perfected it so now I can do it by myself. Stop it. Yeah it's great. But my wife's like we got to stop eating this stuff because I go to I'll go to Whole Foods every other you know day when I'm home Yeah, and just marinate this beef. She's like, I can't eat beef. You know, or at least stop doing this to us. Is that the key to it? Marinating it.

Oh, yeah. For like 24 hours. 24, jeez. The, um, well, this is special YKWD. You know what, dude, one-on-one. We're in Montreal right now. The week before, the festival starts. Yeah. But you were here a week before the week before you were your week before. Yeah. You just

got here. You have a whole week, but I've been here. Yeah. So three weeks in total for me. That's crazy. Yeah. Tough to be away from the family that long. It's tough to be away from your family. Yeah, let's go sit over here for a sec. Nice and quiet. It's tough to be away from your family, but it's also, I mean, you're up here, nobody's here. So it's like a road gig. It's a total road gig, yeah.

And I mean, the whole thing about the festival is that all the comics here that you haven't seen and you're hanging out and you're partying. So it's like the shows, whatever. Yeah. And the hang is the... Yeah, by the time everybody gets here, like I'm probably gonna be itching to go home, you know? Yeah, that I'm just gonna blow it out. It's like doing, remember like Vegas back in the day. Remember doing Vegas? You have to do like 14 shows. That's feature shows. Those were the best.

Well, yeah, I wanna go back. So we've known each other. How long have we known each other? I think since 90, well, probably since 99, 2000 around there. Jesus Christ. This is what I got past the seller, I think. It had, well, yeah, because I remember,

it's what I got past. Yeah, you got past a little after me. Yeah, like a year or something after me. It's just like 17 years 17 years That's right and we were we were so wet behind the years back then I think we were just such young guys who were just trying to murder all every night. I remember I think you taught me this After our sets, because you're expanding so much energy, you're so physical, and so animated.

You would sit in the cooler after your sets. You'd go into the walk-in cooler where they put all the meats and cool down. And then I was like, fuck, I should've done that. So after our sets, we'd go this walk-in cooler. And you're sitting there with frozen meat, you're just sitting there for five minutes, my throat is walking cooler. And just like you're sitting there with Rose and me, you're just sitting there for five minutes, you're just decompressing.

And all the sweats drying up is crazy though, to think that you'd sweat that much in 15 minutes for my sad, like, that on my age, I can't imagine that. Well, we were fucking burning it up there. Yeah, I mean, you understand, where Pete Corielli, you, God-free, me, already, I mean, everybody was fucking trying to gym, nor in Patrice, Burr.

I mean, that's just the young guys. Yeah. Never mind everybody else on the show. So, and we were the youngest. So we had to like really own our spots there. We really gave a fuck about being at the seller. Oh, totally. And it was also so intimidating to, because you always got along really well with everybody,

like that crew. What do you mean, what crew? I like Patrice and Norris and everything. And I'll never forget, I think it was three weeks in to be in past the seller. You know, you're so nervous watching these guys murder night after night. And just like, then you go up and you go up at like one in the morning. And I'll never forget, I go up and do my set and Patrice walks in. The Norton walks in.

Oh boy. I think boss walked in. Oh boy. Two other guys, I can't remember. And they all sat in the front row. So it's like, there's maybe 12 people in the cellar at the time, and they've scattered all over. And then just the guys are in the front row,

looking at me, dead panic, the whole time. And I am fucking bombings. When people say, do you remember one of your worst bombs was right then, America's, I was so scared. Righty time we would hear somebody's bombing upstairs, we would all run downstairs to sit and cry. Cause that was when the cellar was attacked. That's right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, the cellar sold out every show, every night, four at the cellar, a village underground. It's ridiculous what's happening over there now. But the fact that we did it, dude, by the time we went on, we're lucky if this 20 people. You're lucky if sometimes there's anybody there.

I remember Lampin' Ellen, I used to go and close, we'd have the 145, 130 and 145 spots. And sometimes there'd be nobody there. Yeah, you wait for the whole night. And if anybody heard that somebody was bombing, we'd all go downstairs to sit in the audience. And just be like, ah, that was a good one. Do that one again.

Yeah. It was the worst, well, that was a good one, do that one again. Yeah. Oh, it was the worst, well, nothing's worse than being on stage and bombing and seeing you or boss or anybody coming in. Standing in that door like, oh man, that silhouette, you can see the silhouette in the doorway. And you're like, fuck me. Yeah.

It really did suck. I remember one night you came up, one of the funniest things that happened. Me, Estee and God for hanging out. God for was at the end of the table. You saw some girl. Oh God. And you walked up to her and you go, you said, you go, you went to just be stupid, say something to her. It wasn't, you know, you're just trying to maybe get a line in. As soon as you walked up, wasn't, you know, you're just trying to maybe get a line in and see if she's as soon as you walked up. She goes, I know who you are. I'm not interested to get the fuck away from you. Exactly like that. Yeah. You got

soap. We were laughing. Me and S.D. will laugh. Go through it's up to like what the fuck? Me and S.D. were laughing. But then you took your gum and you put it in a drink. Yeah. And then you've, but then you took a gum and you put it in a drink. Yeah. And then you, but then you took a 20 out like your Frank Sinatra and put it on the table. And put it on the table. She ripped it up and threw it at you. Just get the fuck out of me. Get the fuck away from me. It was because first of all, okay, the first thing that she said, okay, fine, she got you.

Then you hit through your gum and you dropped it 20, which would have been hilarious, but she was like, she got you on that. She checkmate it, she checkedmate it, you on that. Me and S'd even like, what the fuck is that? You got to walk away. Or hit her. I'm telling you. That was it, yes, so I had to walk away. You had to walk away. Is it, or inner? I'm gonna walk away. That was it, yes.

I had to walk away. You had to walk away. You had a frack, you had a fucking cag-n-ear. Just met smush your face. That was the only option, man. That was one of the worst attempts to. But look, at the seller at that point, when we're all single, especially God-free and I,

and Arty, which is like every night you're trying to meet those. That was great. That was part of the fun of like being there. It was not like the show. It was just a little bit of a fucking busy night. We can walk with these. But yeah dude, that was part of it, wasn't it? Yeah. That was part of the... The crazy thing to something was that but I remember one night me because me a Keith used to pick up girls all the time I remember one night we were talking these two girls yeah and you all of a sudden we look and you get you get smell like you know you know it's gonna rain we're like yeah we looked over

and we saw you. And you were looking at us like, what are these two old dudes doing? Yeah, and then shh. And then that's too loud. And then gov free and then already. And we were like, oh, you were like the young lions. And you weren't, you told us to get out. You weren't, you were just standing, you were literally the young lions. And you weren't autonomous to get out.

You weren't, you were just standing, you were literally standing on the outskirts, looking at me and Keith talking to these young girls. And we were like, oh, all right, we gotta go. No, really? Yeah, we were like, all right, girls, we gotta go, we'll see you later. I was gonna be persevering.

No, we did not persevere. Shut the young guys up. We did not persevere. We wound up leaving. Did you? and you guys walked right up to these girls and just took out their numbers. Yeah, and we were just like across the street going well, man, we just got taken over by the young pack. Yeah, it was just when we knew we were finished. Yeah, we knew we were done. And you guys, you almost polite about it, like let these old man's talk for a couple. And then we were like,

We're not the clock on them. We were singing lines. We were doing so good with these girls. And then we saw you two guys round the outskirts, just staring at us, watching us do our stuff. Yeah. We were like, hey girls, we have a good night.

We're gonna go get some tea. And, uh, Come get some tea. It was funny. You guys moved right in. Yeah. And got the numbers, probably threw them away that night. It's gumnags.

Couldn't give nothing to the old guys. Well, there was nobody. Right, old guys. It was. Nobody was better than. Well, his way of operating was crazy, but Doug David off. Oh, Doug's the best. He's just so blunt and upfront about it.

Yeah, you're right ladies. I'm down to have fun, have a good time, if they didn't work out. I had a great night with a great girl, but Doug just clutched him business. Yeah, you'll have a nice conversation at least unless she tells you to beat it. God, I wish that was on film. But I mean look, here's the thing too. I mean, our relationship over the years has been almost brother-esque too. Yeah, you know what I mean? I think all of us should listen. Is it open?

How open was that? Pretty open? Yeah. Did I drop stuff? I don't think so. I gotta make sure I see it. Hang on, I gotta go check. So yeah, it's been, what's up buddy?

So it's been, it's, what's up pal? How you doing? We're doing a good last night. So we're doing a podcast right now. So fucking stop talking to him. You know what? Shut up. Shut up man.

Alright, so uh... Fuck you. So uh... Yeah, I mean, you... Our relationship has been pretty crazy over the years. Yeah. You know? I would say. Yeah, we fought, we fucking hate each other, we loved each other. Yeah.

You know, but it's um... Yeah. Sorry, I mean you're up here. I'm gonna get a photo of you to sign a other. Yeah, you know, but it's, yeah. Sorry, I mean, you're up here. I'm gonna get a photo of you two signed together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing a podcast right now live, and there's a lot of, no, sorry, I'm talking to the podcast.

So you take the photos. So hang on, let's get these on, sorry. Look a little professional. All right. So there's a lot of interruptions going on right now, but whatever, here comes a big J2, and there's gonna be interrupted again, or whatever, fuck me.

Let's go high. Let's go high. Let's go high, come on. Let me say hi to him, come on. Let's go. Hi J. Bobby told me not to say hi to you because we're doing a podcast, but I had to say hi.

What, you, I had to say hi. I'm not gonna be rude. What are we getting out of? Chinese food again? Whatever you can. Ha ha ha ha ha. Come on buddy. I'm not gonna be rude Chinese food again Come on buddy I

It's hilarious one of the funniest things ever was that She had me you have I don't know well, I'll say this yeah There have been so many times that you have been gracious to me, give me advice, especially early on, I remember we'd sit in your car and you brought me off and we'd sit in your car for 30, 40 minutes just talking about life, I'd go back up to my place. I remember those nice times and then there's other times where it's like, I'm being Kelly. Do you remember my first USO tour with you and Colin Quinn? Oh, you were a fucking annoying.

I remember that. You too. I'll tell you, I felt like I was in high school. You guys ate by yourself. You just walked away. It was like Mean Girls. That'd be this way, because it was not like Mean Girls. This is good that we're talking about this.

It was Mean Girls. Because I, myself,'re talking about this. It was me girls. Because I, myself, on a lunch table and a commissary, and then I had to go introduce myself to soldiers, I'm like, Because you had a different mission. Was my mission? You remember your brother was there. You were very mean calling with air to perform

for the troops, but we were also there to fuck around and have a good time. You were there to fucking meet the troops, but we're also there to fuck around and have a good time. You were there to fucking meet the troops. Meet that you were there as a fucking soldier. So when we joke around constantly, you joke around at appropriate times. Yeah. You understand?

That's why we'd be sitting there joking, I mean we wait for a fucking helicopter for hours. You'd be sitting there throwing rocks working on your fucking pitching, right? Instead of over with us, you happen. And then we would bust your balls or I'd say something and mean you like brothers, college calling, mean you were kind of like friends. So you'd be serious or I'd be busting around or it just wasn't it wasn't the mix and your brother was there. It was a little more intense for you. Definitely. Then it was in hindsight for me. I think I mean but we had a lot of funny things over there. It was a total blast. I had a great time.

Yeah. I don't forget when we landed I think we had a layover in things over there. It was a total blast. I had a great time, yeah. I don't ever forget when we landed, I think we had a layover in Germany. Yeah. And we're all up in the first class. And then you guys just took off. And I was like, all right, I guess I'm meeting by myself. Where?

At the airport. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you guys went to some nice restaurant. And I was like, fuck, I'll just go to McDonald's. And then this is when you guys were smoking too. So it's like, well, I wanna thank these guys for letting me be a part of this. So I bought you eat, I went to duty free

and got you each a carton of your favorite cigarettes at the time, and I went over, and I gave it to you guys, and go, I just wanna say thanks for having me aboard. I had such a great time, I can't thank you guys enough. And you both looked at me and then you looked at the cart and you're like, thanks. And you went right back to eating and I was like, fuck, I just sighed.

Because this is, you know what you are? You have, which I've developed more, I think, with age and having a wife or you're more human than most comedians. No, I think I'm serious. Because you would, like, there's a thing that you shut off being around Norton, Colin, Patrice, Burr, that we just fuck with each, you know, it's like a closet. So when a guy walks up at the end of a thing is, you know, very earnest, hey guys, we don't thank each other for doing things. We don't, we don't buy like a gift. You know, it's almost like what are you doing? Yeah. Just sit down and let

us cigarette you fucking ass all. Yeah. Have ask all. Have a croissant or whatever we're eating. Have some, you know, and you're just a nice guy. And it wasn't like, we probably just didn't know what to say. We were probably like, oh shit, like, oh my God. Whoa, that's so nice. Like what do you, okay, thanks. Like, it probably wasn't a fuck you. Yeah. It was more of a like dude who are you? Like what are you doing? No I was just grateful totally for the experience and

everything and I remember even after I got Sullivan and son I did another USO tour and I sent Colin Quinn a Facebook message. Right and't have his number or anything. I don't even know if you've even read it, but I was just like, I just wanted to take time to thank you for taking me on the first one, because ever since that first one, I've done one every year since. Right. And you were kind enough to have me along. And I appreciate it.

So if you do see him telling me, I said that. Yeah, no, I think even there, the lady really liked you, because we were fucking off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were you, because we were fucking off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were making, John, she hated us. Crazy Theom. Tracy hated us. And she loved you.

You were the teacher's pet on that trip. I mean, yeah, I just, I was always brought up to respect the the military because my father served, my uncle served, my brother served, and I guess maybe there's some guilt. Plus also, when we went, it was the height of the Iraq War. Yes. I mean, people, you know, nightly on the news, people would be with it every day. People would, they don't do it anymore, but you would see the list of names and people that died. That's when the it was on stage. Yeah.

But, yeah, you would see people who died. Yeah, yeah. No, I get it. I mean, like, but you have to understand with three comics going to Iraq. Yeah. We're fucking off. Look, me, Colin and DiPolo got in trouble in Japan. Did you really?

Yeah, we got trouble Tracy. Which is good. Because she was so fucking up. We are not used to be with fuck, what did you fuck up? Okay, we did fuck up. Okay, so it's not her. She's very militant. Yeah, very, let's go guys.

And she started busting our balls at one point and Nick didn't like it and Nick was like, what the fuck, who's she? You know, and we're literally talking shit about her and we looked up and I saw her window was open. I was, I was saying you see feet coming down. Oh. She comes out, she gets guys, I'm very sorry for,

you know, I thought I was, you know, playing around. I shouldn't have done that, I should have been professional and I apologize for whatever I've said or done and then we'll have a good tour. Just next time you're gonna talk about somebody, don't do it in front of their open window. Oh my God. And then Nick goes like this,

well there goes that apology. Right? I fell on a bush. See, Nick is the fucking best. I fell on a fucking bush. That's so goddamn funny. That's when he just widows it down right to that. So I'm like, God damn.

So then. But and then we go on this tour with you. Yeah. And, you know, it was, yeah, you would, me and Carl were fucking bust. We were the two kids having fun and you would teach us pet. Number one, because your brother was there. This is serious shit to you and it was serious to us too Yeah, yeah, yeah, you put that out there

Doing those shows Steve with the bet to this day is the best thing I've ever done in my life Yeah, and it's the the one of the most things I'm most proud of yeah is going to Iraq and doing shows for the troops But we were still on fuck off mode over there. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And you were very serious over there. And then I remember, I mean, we had some great times. I remember one night, remember we were coming in to Fallujah. Yeah.

That's what I told Colin, you're not famous. Bob, he never flew into the Sunni triangle, right? Remember, we were on a plane full of fucking ammunition. Yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah. It was all ammo. And they're calling Quentin, this crew, right?

Yeah. And we had a land. We were supposed to show, we couldn't make it. They put us in a shunuck for two and a half, three hours. Windows opened. Freezing. Freezing? I was in a windbreaker.

The only thing that made me happy is that you're in a dinner jacket than me Yeah, somehow calling got a memo because he was in a fucking head to toe. Yeah, he had like a tricker Yeah, yeah, the trouble fat head to toe. Yeah, look at a fucking Eskimo. We're freezing on contact. Oh my god, right bird shut up bird I'm on a fucking kill this bird Oh, he's right there. Beat it. Oh fucking constant. So yeah we, I remember on the plane, remember we get off to the plane 20 miles from the Syrian border.

Yeah. And I had the two glow sticks and the guy yelling at me. Put those on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah. You want to get shot. Yeah. And then Colin goes you look like a plane landing a plane

Remember Yeah, so oh We we did absolutely good times. We did fight me and you fought over there like brothers We fought like brothers because we're both the we're both the same thing. We both didn't want to give an inch Yeah, yeah, yeah But it was great. Look. It was a great experience and then yeah. And then you come back to the seller and then everything's back to normal again. Everything's back to talking normally. I was talking to somebody about this stand-up boom that's been happening where like,

I know the seller is packed, the underground's packed. And then you go to the comedy store, all three rooms are sold out every night. A packed, yes. So, I think the beginning of comedy flipping around was the reason we were in Iraq was 9-11. Because I remember 9-11 in New York City those first three days, I thought I'm going to get a real job. I'm fucking done. Who the fuck's going to come to a comedy club now, at least for another year or two, I'm going to get a real gig. And then I remember, I think it was the seller or the strip that opened first, and it was packed.

And then ever since then, I think the comedy clubs, I think 9-11 was the beginning of the next comedy boom, because I know Dane had done a significant thing with marrying standup with social media, and that was a big part of the bump as well. But I think 9-11 was the first kind of thing that brought standup back. In terms of it being relevant again,

people addressing major issues. I remember, Russ Maniv had this great joke, like five days after 9-11, like what happens when somebody calls you four days after 9-11? It's like, why didn't you fucking call me on September 11th? It's like no, I'm stuck in rubble for five days. Thank God you're fucking calling now. It's like, what's a great great joke? I like to be corralies joke.

He was like um My family wants to come in and they come in the town. They want to go to see ground zero. I was too lazy so I just took him to a construction site near my house. Yeah. I remember that joke. Yeah. That was a great joke. Yeah, but it might be right.

It is weird that comedy is so big right. And it doesn't seem like it's going away, man. It does it. But 17 years. I'll tell you what can be the downfall of it. And it's yet to be determined but I think Netflix a dad fan album in and yeah but Netflix inundating flooding the market with gold with the new hour special every week

for 52 weeks from all the heavy hitters it's like well what's gonna happen in year two and then you're just like it's so much overload that you're getting the best from everybody within one year's time frame. But I think what people are gonna do, and I think what I'm gonna try to do is find another way, because look man, it's hard for me to, I did my own special by myself, and people got it after.

Again, I'm gonna have to do the same thing again. I'm gonna have to find somebody to film my special and sell it again or put it on the internet. And I think there's gotta be a way for, I think there's gotta be a new, you know, syringe to inject comedy into the world. Maybe it's Facebook, maybe it's YouTube, maybe it's Patreon, maybe it's some way

where people are gonna go, hey, did you see this thing? Yeah. On YouTube, or did you see this thing on Patreon? Or maybe leak out bits of it on Facebook and have people, I don't know, but I think it's not Netflix. But the hour special is no longer special, because everybody, before you,

now it's fucking identity politics. Yeah, now it's like, you know, we want this from this, because that's what people want right now. It's like, what about the funniest guys? Well, funniest women. Why does it have to be, where there's so many niches now

and everything's so fractured, but I just think it's damaging the uniqueness of an hour special, because it takes a lot of work to build that hour. And when everybody's got it, now it's like to stay relevant now, you've got to do a new hour every year or two to stay in the game.

Otherwise, you're just, I don't know. You were gonna pass you up. I don't know if they're gonna pass you up. I think that if you can wait and do a great hour, two years, if you, three years, if you wait and just do a great hour and release that somehow, where people like this is fucking good. People know good. I think comedy fans can sift through shit. I mean, they'll watch something like, and then when they see something that's like, what is this? Yeah.

You know, what is this? I think that will be the thing that people will be like, no, we're not watching garbage anymore. We're going to want, we want to watch this guy, oh, this girl. And it sucks, that's, excuse me. I have to keep saying this guy, this girl, because, you know, everybody's going to get, fuck, I'll get a million letters What about women?

Yeah It is a bit comedy I mean look comedy is as diverse as it has ever been yeah as More women there's more women funny women making stuff now than ever. Yeah, I mean it's it's the the playing field Is even the fuck out by demand. Yeah. And they listened and it has happened. Yeah, my fear is that what crippled comedy in the early 90s? Well, it's the blowback of every bar club, whatever popping up all over the country.

And again, comedy was everywhere. They flood the market with gold, and then it receded. But they flood the comedy clubs with mediocre talent. True, and I think what killed comedy? When you flood, this is what I'm worried about with this identity shit. Don't just get somebody because they're Spanish.

Don't just do somebody because she's a woman, you know? Please have a fucking meter on this. It has to be as funny as this. They have to be solid before you put it out there because you're gonna get people to stop watching specials because they're gonna see one, two, three, four, shit. Yeah. And they're like, and ain't as good as Carlinner.

It's not as good as Rocker. It's not as good as Burr. Not as good as, you know what I mean?'t as good as Carlinner, it's not as good as Rocker, it's not as good as Burr, not as good as, you know what I mean? Not as good as, and they're not gonna want it. And if you, then you put a big hitter out there with a stink special, people are like, I'm not doing that anymore, then they go to a club, and it stinks.

We went last week, it was great, we just saw Steve, he was so there, and we saw the guy from this show, and he sucked, and we saw this girl, that she wasn't that just saw Steve, we were so late, and we saw the guy from this show, and he sucked. Yeah. And we saw this girl that she wasn't that good. Yeah. And we're not gonna go. We'll just go to the bar and play pool.

Yeah. I mean, they have to have a barometer on this, it has to be funny. Don't just give people shit because of their skin color. That's, to me, is doing them everybody a disservice. Yeah, but you're the look dude, you're a funny guy. You kind of talk about your being Korean in your act, right? But you never had to. You never had to. You didn't have to go had to. You didn't have to go into your ethnicity. Ethnicity. Ethnicity. Fucking mush mouth. Jabba jaw from Boston. Am I right? Yeah, but I think when you're

early on and I was talking to Vlad about this is that I think early on in anybody's career, you talk about what makes you unique, and then eventually you branch off from that, and I think it goes along with finding your voice, right? When you find your voice, you know how to write for yourself. You can talk about anything you want. Right, and I think, you know, people that come out of the show sometimes are like,

oh, you don't talk about being Asian, I'm like, no, I did that in Oh nine. You did it in my first hour, so I'm done with that. Yeah, yeah. So now, yeah, I try to talk about Much different things and I think much more evolved things than just The aesthetics of what somebody's seeing on stage as you walk right right right right Yeah, but you could too you could so you yeah, yeah, let you knew hour about I'm starting from scratch right now and I still don't know because I've always tried to find like some

Some thesis of like something I'm trying to back up or what what am I really trying to say with this hour? Yeah, so the last like for example the last one was I'm 42 Why would somebody who's 22 want to watch me? And so I was thinking here the things I've learned Here's some lessons here's some shortcuts in life not not only for you but for my children as well. Once I figured that out, then the writing became easy and right now, it's been six or seven months since I said, all right, you gotta start writing again. And I've just wrote a ton of Trump jokes that are going to be irrelevant in another year.

And it's great to do them, it's relevant, it's fun, it resonates, but I'm like, I'm not gonna do this on the hour, so I gotta stop. I have 15 minutes of Trump shit. And then I have to be up in the ether, that you gotta get rid of them, and I'm not gonna be obsessed. Exactly. Yeah, unless you're certain comics

that continue to do them forever and not, their comics that, well, look, go with it, Clinton jokes. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, you gotta let them go. I gotta let them go in. Personal stuff, yeah. More yeah, you gotta let them go. I got to let them go in. Personal stuff. Yeah. Yeah. More personal stuff. I want to talk about We You you're in New York you're doing you think you're hustling

We're all hustling. You want to move in LA. Yeah, you're out there doing your thing You had a big thing with Dane all that shit you stole his essence And you know go throw the shit out there and you're hustling out there. It's hard and then I Believe you meet Vince Vaughn. Yeah on the wild West Commit or West Commit and you become friends with this guy. Yeah, and You now you then you come up with your show idea. Yeah, and you pitch it to him and he likes it. Right? Well he initially said, you know, your opportunities are so limited given your background. Instead of auditioning all the time. Why don't you just write something for yourself. And that thought had never crossed my mind because I'd

never gotten a development deal. Yeah. He's never anointed the next big. Me neither. Nobody gave a fuck about me. I could come in and say, yeah, nobody had talked me afterwards. It's me, you God-free, Peacorelli. We were never anointed. No, it's a great word. There's a lot of people who were fucking anointed.

And then they're part of that system. And they're good. For Amber too. Yeah. And you see them passed and everything. Yeah. And it's just like, all right, well, you know, I, anyways, so Vince goes,

you should write something for yourself and I go, well, I don't know, he goes, trust me, you can do it. I was like, but I, he goes, you can do it. And we were hiking up the Hollywood, because we'd always hike up to the Hollywood sign. Right. So I said, fuck, if this guy thinks I can do it,

I went out, I bought a bunch of books at Samuel French on sunset. And for the next three months, I just read these books. I was almost like I bought a bunch of books of Samuel French on sunset, and for the next three months, I just read these books. I was almost like I was back at university. I was taking notes, and then I wrote something, and I gave it to him six months later. He goes, holy shit.

He goes, do you know how many times I've had this conversation with my friends, and they never do it? You fucking did it. Yeah. And so he read it, and like a a week later he goes, he goes, he goes, there's something here. Um, let's explore this and then I got paired up with Rob Long. I read a bunch of scripts. Who's Rob Long? Rob Long did cheers for many years. He did like the last eight years of cheers. So he originally this, the show was set in a diner. He goes,

if you, he goes, you should make this a bar. I go, if you want to make this a bar, let's make it a bar and let's do this together. He said, great. So Rob and I jelled immediately, we wrote a script. I'd say he wrote the script because 99% of it, he knew what he was doing. He wrote the script. I had a joke or two in there, but I learned so much work with Rob. And so we wrote it, we pitched it, TBS acquired it, and literally from the time we pitched it, it was less than a year. So all right. So Vince Vaughn is your guy.

Yeah, with this, he's pitching this with you. He's pitching the show with me, he's there at every taping, he's pitching lines, he's pitching, he's just like if you envision a partner that you want as an executive producer, you couldn't picture a better partner than Vince. How many shows a season? We did 10, the first season, 10, the second season and 13, the last season. And now you cast all your friends, basically. I cast friends and then I cast people I didn't know,

like Roy Wood Jr., I didn't know Roy. But I saw him at the improv quite a few times in LA and I was like, this dude is a fucking monster. And again, he's somebody that the industry never anointed. They never came to the show. And I'll tell you what, he's the same comic he is today than he was when he was on Sullivan and Sun and nobody gave a fuck about him.

And so he's submitted for half hours on Comedy Central all three years he was on our show. They didn't give him shit. He gets cast on the Daily Show and again it's another one of those things. It's like now the industry sees him and goes, oh, now he's part of the club. It's like, now the industry sees him and goes, oh, now he's part of the club. Yeah.

It's like, same great guy, same great comic. I always thought Roy was one of the best. I, Roy was the, Roy was the kind of guy when I saw him. He reminded me of like Burr, where, there's such a unique voice, there's a cadence. Yeah. And a real intelligence to his material.

So, I emailed Roy, not even known, saying, hey, I'd love for you to check this out. Roy actually came in to audition and bombed the first time. He tanked it. Didn't do well. And so, Peter Billingsley and Rob Long were like, no way, no way. Wow.

So, we had a second round of auditions. Why did you bring him in again? Well, I brought him in again. Oh, you wanted it. I brought him in. So, the casting director, I go, bring him in again? Well, I brought him in again. Oh, you wanted it. I brought him in so the casting director I go Bring Roy in again. She goes both Peter and Rob. They didn't I go well. I want to see Good to you man. So I brought him in again and I called Roy as like here's what you got to do Because I helped them I helped him and then uh and then he came in a third time and

Nailed it then he tested nailed it and then he came in a third time and nailed it. Then he tested, nailed it. And then I think it was after the second episode, Rob Long came up to me and said, you were right about Roy. Right. And I was like, oh, awesome. And then Roy killed it every time he had a line. It's great.

He was great, he was so great. And like he's a guy that I see on the daily show now, and I'm just like, that guy deserves everything he fucking gets, because he fucking hustles you into that. I almost hate getting that compliment. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, it's up to, if anybody deserves it to you,

it's like, what the fuck does that mean? Like, what did I not? I think I was doing all right, I mean, I wasn't maybe as famous as Louis. Yeah. I guess is that what you're saying? Like, you deserve, you know, it's like, but to go the next level.

Right, you know. I mean, everybody's looking on the outside looking in. Go on, oh fuck, what's it like in there? And then the minute somebody you love is in it, you're like, fuck yeah. Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah. Yeah, I mean, when I saw the show come out, I was, I was a static for you.

I thought it was awesome. And you actually called me or sent me a text. And you were one of the few guys from New York that ever even bothered to like, right now it's like, oh, thanks man. I don't care about what you think of the show. I don't care about what you, whatever. What we all bust balls about.

Look, I was on the drugs in Rock and Roll. I got shit for that. You know what I mean? I got, Well, you get shit for a single cam on FX. It's a great. Well, you always get crap because, you know, if it's not Louis or if it's not, you know,

whatever it is, you know, the wire or if it's not, you know, every is too cool for school. Yeah. I actually like regular shitty TV. I like watching funny sitcoms. I like watching Psych was one of my favorite shows. I get shit for that, you know what I mean? Cause it's not Colombo.

Go fuck yourself. I like Colombo too. You know what I mean? Some people are very narrow-minded with their thing, but I know how hard it is to get to that point, but you're so scared of you not having it, never mind casting a net to bring some other guys with you. Because they could fuck it up for you.

Totally, yeah. Yeah. And all of a sudden you're responsible for them. And they're kind of like, if anything goes wrong, it's on you. Yeah, that's the tough part of like being the face of it all. Yeah. When, you know, I remember early on, I forget who it was, but they're like, you know, at the end of the day, it's your face that's on the bus ad.

Yeah. So if you don't feel comfortable doing something, don't do it. Right. And I always remember that. And Vince was so encouraging, because nobody knows what it's like to deal with that more than him. And he was great. Are you still friends with him? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, to me, I don't know him. I've never met him. Never talked to him. I haven't been the same air as him. Yeah.

But to me, he seems like a solid fucking dude. He just seems like a number one. I'll say this, one of the funniest actors bar anybody. The most unique delivery, he is a modern day Chevy Chase. He is a fucking, you know, he's that guy you can play. He's straight up cool as shit as funny as shit and vulnerable. He's vulnerable and alpha male at the same time. It's a quality you, it's hard to find.

I think that's why Bill Murray has it. Yeah, the guys like Stiller, you know, Will Farrell, all the guys that came up like in the 90s with those great comedies, they've all kind of like, they're going through this identity crisis now, like Wil Farrell's movie The House didn't do that well. And you know, as your progenitor in age, you're like, how do you stay relevant? How do you stay cool and on top? And I think Vince made a really smart pivot to do something like hard to do Hacksaw Ridge. But he is a fucking insane actor as far as drama.

He can wield alpities. That same thing he uses, you know, it's that, I'm telling you, he's like Bill Murray. Yeah. He has that, his comedy comes in his, him being blue collar, vulnerable and being self deprecating, but also being the shit, you know? Yeah, he's the guy you wanna hang out with.

He's a dangerous guy, he's a cool guy, he's a supportive guy, he's an endearing guy. He's literally just everything you want in a friend. He's a good human being now. Is he gonna be involved in the new thing that you're right now? No, this one I'm striking out on my own. Ha ha ha, good. Yeah.

That's scary as shit, dude. It's scary, but it's also like, you know, you had the experience, you learn, and Sullivan Sun was an incredible experience, but now it's like, let's see if it paid off, you know, all that work, all that, all the experience. Oh, we're going to walk walk in let's walk in with these Fucking starting a rain out shit But I can ask you how good are you at drums? I'm awful. I'm the I'm I'm I'm I consider myself a drummer now

Yeah, I consider myself the worst drummer you'll ever say but I'm playing the drums. I'm playing I said to myself, the worst drummer you'll ever say. But I'm playing the drums. I'm playing Highway to Hell, ACDC. This week at Just For Lapse at the Comedy Jam. Oh, nice. So I will be playing live. Can you sing and drum at the same time? I don't know.

Does it take too much? No, no, no. I think I can. I mean, I do at my house. I'm going to go find a kit tomorrow. Try to get a drum kit and get on it. But I've been practicing stuff. Let's see. But I'm doing it because I'm scared shit go find a kit tomorrow, try to get a drum kit and get on it, you know, but I've been practicing stuff. Let's see, but I'm doing it because I'm scared shitless of doing it.

Yeah, that's why I'm doing it, you know what I mean? So, we'll, hey, so, hey, so, anyways, dude, you, um, it's, I say it, it's, this one. So now you live out out, now this is a big part too, as you had kids. And I really think that changes. I think it changes us, this comics. Oh completely. Yeah. Because now the sudden we're responsible for people living. You know, yeah. Yeah. And I keep going. Like I said, before I'm the happiest happiest I've ever been in my life without has nothing to do with this business. Yeah, yeah, I think prior to kids you're always chasing that next goal, that next, whatever

it is, you know, whatever you're pying the skies. But now with kids, I don't know, it's not like the dry, this is still there. Right, it's just different. Now the goal is for me, it used to be a show or an appearance. Now it's security. Yeah. You know, what can I do next that will provide some security from a family, for the kids, and that's really where I'm at.

Did you get that security off of Sullivan's son? Do you still? Some sense of it. Yeah. Right. Not really, because, I mean, like you were saying outside with when you're on your show which is rockin single cam on FX which is great and you know I had this multi cam on TBS there was a summer series and it was though I was doing it for me it was like no like for

three years for three years I didn't do one late night talk show appearance. The third year, I had the third season and a third hour special coming out. Nobody would have me on the air. Nobody would have me do panel or even, and then, you know, from panel to stand up. Nobody had you on panel. Why? And then it went to, I'll put together a five minute tape. We did that, and nobody would have.

Five minute tape of what? Of stand up. They wouldn't, you won't show up TBS. Yeah. And nothing. You know what's so funny is that we had to fight to get Roy on Conan. Can you have somebody from our show on your show?

I wanted to be on, I was like, oh, I'm a stand up comic. I'm finally getting to get to go on, maybe sit on the couch, I'm playing the drums. It might have done fat fantasy head. I'm like, oh Jimmy Fowl is gonna have me on. I'll sit next to Quest Love and I'll play the drums and Liri will come out and do his thing and I'll do five minutes of something.

Nothing, it doesn't work like that. They want Meary and Liz Gio, that's it. They want stars, stars, stars, stars. They want nothing, they don't want to break anybody. They don't want to fucking help somebody. That's what it seemed like. They don't want to break anybody. They don't want to fucking help somebody. That's what it seemed like. When back in the day, Carson would make people.

Completely, yeah. Make them. Yeah. Now it's like, look, we're that close to this other show. We need to take the ratings tonight. It'll come clean, don't you mean? Yeah, yeah. That's crazy you weren't on any TV.

How do you promote your show? We, here's how you promote it. We went on the road all four of us every summer the four of us for two and a half months We would tour the country go to every comedy club one night or is everything for like two and a half months With those guys it was close. I Closed yeah, wow, but it was it was a heavy show to close. There was a very heavy show to close. So the meds grade, Owen's got the piano, killing every night, and then Roy. Owen's a very talented guy.

He's almost, he reminds me of very Mensa. You know what I mean? Like he seems that, I don't know if he's that smart. He seems hyper intelligent. Yeah. But I think the operative word is hyper. Because there's a focus sometimes. He can't straight.

But look, he's an extremely smart guy. Yeah. The guy I hated following was Roy. Because Roy wouldn't go up and fucking. I mean, I won too. But it was just like murder. It wasn't fun. I definitely had my work.

But it made me a stronger comic. Just host. It's your show. Hey, I got you guys. We had Derek Cannon hosted, because he was our audience warm up. Oh, fuck him. I would have him go up. I would have hosted that sucker and I'd say, how you doing?

I'm the other, it's my show. I'm hosting it. Yeah. I would have brought him up. I would have did 20 up front and brought these assholes up to do 20 each. Yeah. And then he fuck you.

And I had to cross my mind. Oh, next time you. And I was like, well, cross my mind. Oh, next time you have a show, make sure you do that. Yeah, we're gonna go up on myself. What's that? We're gonna go up on myself. I know, yeah, hopefully you get on a goddamn show. I can't believe they wouldn't give you a win. I don't see BS.

Doesn't TBS get a certain amount of people? We thought for sure, second season, somebody from... Dan Loria, isn't good enough to go on Conan or Brian Dole andoria isn't good enough to go on Conan or Brian Dole Murray isn't good enough to go on Conan the guy wrote caddy shack and he's an S&L He's an institution in terms of second city Could Christine ever saw Tony Ward winning Broadway actress you couldn't get it right next door. Did you have an effect on the ratings? No, we were the highest rated original program show on CBS. Why did you get canceled?

Well, a new regime comes in, they want to wipe the slate clean, so the president gets kicked back at that. Are you kidding me? And the old president had told us that, hey, if I was still around, he would have gotten picked up. But we never even heard from the new president. But look, at the end of the day, all those things come to an end at some point. I always knew that prior to even enjoying it. And I was always prepared to note, at any moment, they could pull the cord on this, so

I have a fucking blast. And I did. And the last time I was there, outside the sound stages, they have those plaques of like everything that was filmed, you know. So outside stage 10, it's like oceans 11, like back to the original one. And then all this other great like Yankee Doodle Dandy with Jimmy Cagney and stuff. And then it says Sullivan and Son. So yours from now, I could take my kids and go, this, your dad grew up in Pittsburgh. Yeah.

Went to New York to be a comic, came out to LA. Look at all those things on that plaque. Yeah, no kick you out because you'd have a right to be in the studio. And the choir, yeah. Look at it. Get out of here. And that's that's the show business right there, not show. Well, all right, dude, this has been a nice hour. Dude, I love you.

I love you too. And I'm proud of you. I'm excited that you're kicking ass. You're one of the guys that just keeps working. And you're either doing your standup or you're doing, you're doing writing something. And there's some guys that make it, you know, and they just think that it's going to keep green giving to them.

And it's not. You got to, there's some guys that have to, like you said, we're never anointed. If you're not anointed, you got to work. You got to work harder than everybody else. You know, and you know, you get more nose than yes, and when you get that, yeah, you have, you fucking appreciate it. Oh, yeah. When I was on sex drugs, I was like, this is great.

Yeah. Working with Sherpocho and Celetti and Leary and Liz Gilles and John and Elaine. I got to work with the group. I have to. I got to make Joan Jette. It's like, oh my god, this is a... And when I went away, it sucks. Because it's like your family's gone.

You have a family for three years. Yeah. And now they're gone. And it's like, it's like shit. Well, it sucks. Because now you have to go back to your real family. You know what I mean? Stand in your pretend family.

Yeah, it really is. You only have, that was the one thing I therapy I had to learn. It's like, your family is your wife and son, dumb man. Stop. These people, stop treating people. I got three clubs. It was my serrated family for five days.

Stop it. These are your friends. But it is hard to let go of that because for six months out of the year or three months or ever long you film, you get together every day in lunch having a good time And then you're promoting it together and then it's like wow this is this this world exists this fake world exists in my life Yeah, it's crazy because it's like you want that train to keep going But also it's it's great that you have those memories that you had that encapsulated moment in time that you got to share with some really fucking kick-ass people.

Yeah, and you know as you go on that body work, hopefully you just stockpile those memories and look back and go fuck out of fucking good run. Yeah, you know, you had, you definitely had a good run and you still was well and uh... It's not over. Yeah, we gotta, we gotta do something else. Yeah, we gotta, and maybe next time we gotta fucking audition for you, show you a son of a bitch.

Then we get into that. Where was my audition? Here's the show. With that show, the reason I didn't ask more New York comics to do it is because they wouldn't pay for flights. They wouldn't pay for hotel. Yeah. And it's like, am I going to ask my friend to put himself on tape? Yeah. And then he's going to fly himself out here and find a place to stay for four days. Yeah. I felt like an asshole. Yeah, no, I would have done that. Because if I booked the show, I'd have thousands of dollars to repay myself.

It didn't pay. Those good. Look, I was the EP, I saw what you would get paid. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah, you'd have five grand? No. All right, I gotta go. I never invite me on.

Never, I would have never done it. Don't do that. Yeah, listen. Really? I thought invite me on. Never. I would have never done it. Don't do that. Listen. Really? I thought we'd talk about it. Listen.

Next show. Can you get it on like a network? Yeah. And then get me an audition? Yeah. So we get some might have a quote. Okay. Okay.

Well now you're definitely. Yeah. I, uh, I, uh, I, I, first of all, too, I, before we go, I love you family. You're father's, that's what? He father's just just a dad. I mean, if you got a cast of dad, you'd be asked to be asked to be asked to be asked to be. Your mother is the best.

The thing, the change stuff about your mom, about her would change, is one of the funniest things that, you just quickly just, because your mom loves change. She loves, she loves what? She loves pocket change. She loves pocket change. Yeah loves, she loves what? She loves pocket change. She loves pocket change.

Yeah. And she would always like, I could have done the tonight show and come back from LA to New York. And I'd be like, I just did the tonight show. But if I had like 70 cents in my pocket, I'd put on a table, she'd go, oh yeah, that's my son. And she'd like squire it like a squirrel, and I'd be like, what the fuck? Did the doctor say, I's my son. And she like squire it like a squirrel, it's like the fuck.

Did the doctor say, I'm fucking changed. Fuck. Okay. To this day still. It makes me so happy. It makes me so happy. Hello, first thing she taught my daughter,

she came over to visit. She sat her down, she bought her piggy bank. That's the first thing that's the first gift my daughter got, piggy bank. And my mom quizzed her. She's like, now what is this? My daughter's quizzed her. She's like, what is this? My daughter's like, Penny. That's like, what is this?

Nickel. So she knows the denominations. That's good. All the change, yeah. Because my mom is drilling in. But times she's 20, she's going to have a huge savings account. Enough to worry about money like me and you. Yeah.

Yeah. All right, brother. Who's that, Big J? Yep. All right, dude. Thanks for doing this. Of course. I appreciate it. Look forward to seeing what you're doing next. You know, in New York City. brother who's that big Jay yep all right dude thanks for doing this of course I appreciate it look forward to seeing what you're doing next when you're New York

come on the podcast next time you're in town yeah Fominila we'll do another one of these because I still want to talk to you about your brother of the new project you're doing there's a lot to talk about yeah but I got to go do this stupid interview and I'll talk to you later. Steve? Love you too, buddy. Steve Burns, everybody. Steve Burns. Not Burns. Hey, buddy.

Thanks so much, man. Oh, cool, man. What's up, bro? You guys fucking smashed. You guys were energy was wild last night. Oh, thank you, man. You best, that last joke, too, with your finger. Oh, to look for change in the fucking phone.

Oh, the pay phone. I was insane. Thank you, brother. to figure that out. Oh, to look for change in the fucking phone. Oh, the payphone. I was insane. Thank you, brother. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

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