Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Origins of the Comedy Cellar
Episode Date: November 27, 2017Bobby is joined by Mark Coen, Bill Grundfest, Liz Furiati and Comedy Cellar owner Noam Dworman to talk about the origins of the Comedy Cellar and how it evolved into the landmark it is today. Learn mo...re about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network.
Riotcast.com.
Hey, what's going on there?
You know what, dude?
First of all, this episode, amazing.
Origin to the Comedy Seller.
It's a premium member episode.
Only premium members got it.
It was so good.
I wanted to release it for a week to everybody, because I think
everybody should. It's going to be back behind the paywall next week, I believe. So listen
to it now, spread the word, tell everybody, this is the owner of the comedy seller, the man
who started the comedy seller, one of the original comics, when the comedy seller first
hit its peak back in the day, it's so interesting
to hear and so funny.
It's such a good time.
We actually taped it at the Rio in Las Vegas where the new comedy seller is going, just
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This is gonna be a claustrophic.
This podcast has no rules.
I'm talking to the mic asshole.
I'm sure I've already said should I regret it?
Can I get a microphone?
Oh, that's a fuck.
That was trying to keep it like a comic head.
I have a bunch of guys on.
It's just us sitting down and yapping.
Sometimes it's hilarious.
Sometimes it's hilarious sometimes it's
epic no topics no directions I love doing it way both sides of the coin
That's how it all holds the stars you love the pie
I want to do you think my podcast is popular enough where I might affect something's life
You never know I do my guest on whitecast.com
Oh, let's start this over and do some
Inducing I recorded it on here. Oh, I got double recording here. We go. Thank God. No one who worked for you made that Oh, oh my god
Hi, how you doing? Well, you know what? I got all the bullshit out of the show.
That's extra.
That's hatred on extra.
The biggest Robert Kelly, you know what, dude?
On the road, Las Vegas Rio.
I took a 20 minute hit anyways.
About my shitty room getting fucked in the butt
and doing all this stuff.
And now he crosses his leg like a winner.
Okay?
So anyways, we're starting the show.
Liz, my lovely person on the show that helps me
see
thank you
what did you call you before that you took such a great
experience
we had a lot of fight
i have that
right now
i put a road loren i guess loren is a girl who's worked for robert and they
have some kind of falling out
no no no no that he basically just called me his roadlacky. No, I don't. It's also like
Scopo. This is terrible. You call him out about Scopo. He's dead. He's dead. Control the garbage.
I love Scopo. I love Scopo's dad, but Scopo was. He will not give you a deal on the garbage. He'll
raise our rates. Yeah. All right. Listen, can you please introduce everybody and don't stop calling
people lackeys lackeys. Okay. Bill Grandfest is here. Oh my god
He didn't know about the founder of the comedy seller in 1981
Now let him do that. He was gonna redo it again. He was he was doing his thing. I didn't do it in the first place
She said he found the comedy selling I didn't want I didn't say that about myself
But you know, she's a beautiful thing beautiful story about how in 1981. Yes, we dug the audience out with our bare hands
From the street. He got to love him
I mean guy that's the second time he did it and just I think it's better than the first
Yeah, a little more well not too much
Wait, what do you mean second take? He's always the best
Your second take guy second take I'm first take. I'm just kind of clearing out the debris. They call me second take Kelly
Is that right? Yeah, I just I just never get past the first take.
I usually don't get the audition.
They go, no, that was great.
See you later, thanks.
How old are you?
So yeah, 81.
81, maybe.
I used to start the show with zero people in the audience
because his father made me.
And the reason why is because if people
stick their heads in the comedy
seller and they see nothing going on, there's nothing going on.
And they leave.
But if there's a guy talking on stage, they go, oh, there's a show.
And they have a shot at least that they'll come in.
That's usually my gigs on the road.
They do the same thing.
I used to say people would come in the doorway.
And I would say, this is what we will do for zero people
Imagine what we will do for you
I wanted you to really good joke, but it was for zero people. Would you do it again?
Sure, I fell to the same
This is a shitty podcast and a shit house tower on the 13th floor
cast in a shit hotel on the 13th floor. You want to go to the 13th floor?
You want to go to the 13th floor?
You want to go to the 13th floor?
You want to go to the 13th floor?
I just want to go to the 13th floor.
I just want to go to the 13th floor.
I just want to go to the 13th floor.
Too soon.
Sorry.
13th floor, though.
Did they have 13th floors in Vegas?
I thought they would eliminate them.
You didn't?
No, they didn't back in 1972 when this building was established.
My room was actually made.
When this was a new room in
1972 that's when they had it and then they stopped having it in
In his tower the brand new tower. Oh, they have the beds. Yeah, and the jacuzzi. Oh, you have a jacuzzi. Yeah
I don't want to shit on a mini bar
You know what I used to do, Bill?
I Was ever on the road with somebody who had a better room than me
I would go I go hey man, let me check out this is great room. Can I use your bathroom and I go piss in their tub
And this is how you made friends this is how we made friends of comics sure
We're making friends. There's nothing better than getting their phone call dude. You're a fact
It's got 20 minutes to get to the show. He's going to clean up the tub.
You were defending Harvey Weinstein.
What?
You like it?
That is such a good point.
That is such fucking, before you turned on the microphone.
That is, that is, I will fucking beat me.
That's for the Patreon.
Beat me.
Beat me.
Beat me.
Beat me.
I will. Beat me believe I will get the measly Vietnamese me I will be at Millie's
No, I did not for defend our V at all. I'm just saying that it is
You put away in a second, but have you defended him? No
Listen yet, no measly. It's just funny now lady defended again. I think that now I mean look
These guys came up in a time when all this stuff wasn't acceptable
but put up with or whatever and now they're getting called out on it and I'm not saying
they I think you know look the shit he did he should get called out on it's just you know
they grew up they came up in a time when you could when you could rape a woman look
look at you look at mad men that's when you could call hey broad get in a time when you could when you could rape a woman look Look you look at mad men. That's when you could call. Hey broad
You're in here and slap you your your your your your assistant or your on the butt. There was a 10 years ago
I'm I'm just look it. I'm telling you that there's the things you
Things that were accepted are put up with back then look we're evolving we're becoming better people
We're becoming better men with treating women and we've done a lot of shit bad a hundred years ago
We're a shitty of people what better people now and he's getting called out
I mean should because he's a fucking predator and he did some awful shit and
You know, but like a guy like Ben Affleck you're making the same argument. They make to defend Columbus day
What's Columbus day? What's wrong with Columbus day?
There's a big controversy because Columbus came and he was brutal to a lot of people.
But in those days, that was that's what they did, you know?
And apparently Columbus molested Ashley Judd.
So there's a...
I knew she was old. I'm telling you.
She looks.
Columbus said to Queen Isabella, give me your ship and I'm gonna get my hands on that Ashley Judd rack in a second.
That's right.
You just give me a chance lady.
And she didn't want to, but the king, king Furtanamp, you want to learn history or not.
King Furtanamp said, listen, bitch, get this guy a ship because he's gonna get a piece
of Ashley Judd.
I gotta tell him Bill's mic down a little bit.
It's like 1981 then.
He's got five people just came in the crowd.
I don't really have two.
I'm not saying look at, I look, I know.
I'm just saying,
why do you think there's any truth to that?
I mean, there's a lot of,
I mean, you're the one who defended him in the first place
that actually got me thinking about it.
So explain what you said.
No, I'm saying. I said, I did not about it. So explain what you said. No, I'm saying.
Nice try did not defend. No, what I'm said, I was there, he said we should take down
the statues of Harvey Weinstein. Right? And put him in a museum. Yeah, they should take
back his Oscar. This is what I think. No, I think you're wrong. I think that I'm wrong.
No, I think you're right that there was like, he told me like I'll kind of a
mad. All right, that's the end of the podcast. Thank you very much for tuning into YKWD this week. We'll see you next week
Bye-bye shut the thing off shut it off
Throw something at that camera
It's like a mad man not allowed to say he's wrong
That's the thing you know, no, he's never said I'm right ever
Is it like a madman culture? Yes. Yes. Like, we slap a girl.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That culture did exist.
You mean, yeah.
But this.
But Harvey Weinstein is accused of.
It's totally something different.
It was never acceptable.
No, that video of him, anybody who was like, oh my god,
maybe that was an excuse.
You hear that video.
You can hear the sliminess in what he was doing.
And to be that powerful, to have that much money,
that much influence, it makes it even worse.
Because if you're in that position,
you shouldn't be that fucked up with yourself
and that twisted.
What is that?
Is that your phone?
Liz, will you make sure, who is it?
My vibrator is on is who is it?
It's my wife don't answer it. Wait. Wait. Don't answer it
Don't answer just push it to a thing and shut can you swipe up and shut the thing off?
What's on is it recording? Yeah, it's recording is it still recording?
Is it still recording or Is it still recording?
It's really interesting for the podcast people to see this.
I don't know.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Hey, Scopo, is it still recording?
Now it is.
Is it recording?
Now it is.
Are the numbers going?
Now it is.
That's the list I like.
I don't like timidlyz.
So is it.
I don't want to, I don't want to defend Harvey Weinstein, but I will make, I will make one point about sex about life.
Ooh, here it comes.
You said about sex.
He's a point about sex first.
And the audience can be compared to baseball.
Sex is all compared to baseball. However, not in this way.
You know, when you're, when you're rounding, when you're rounding, when you're rounding third base.
Yes.
And the coach shows you hold up.
Yes. And you ignore the base. Yes, and the coach shows you hold up. Yes, and you ignore the sign. Yes, and you slide if you get thrown out of the plate
Yes, you're in big trouble. Ha ha if you're safe. You're a hero. It doesn't matter. Yes, so very often in sex things like taking out your dick
It's already masterbiting in front of it. This is really just and and the girls that but
This is really just and the girls, but sometimes these things get converted to Yeah, and the girl changes and then it becomes okay and then no harm no foul
And we all there's every day all over the world. I know is our converted into yeses
Yes, but it's not and one person's rejection. Yes, was another person's
Yeah, she she you know how these things go so well but
call me old fashioned yeah but there's never been a time old okay oh fashion
old fashion you got my point we all been there like like now no no we've not all
been I never been in a hotel have you ever been in up okay you don't have to answer
yeah I have I have never been in a hotel room yes where I've had a
conversation or a meeting or even
if it wasn't a bit. We've been talking to a woman alone in my hotel room. Excuse myself to go
to the men's room and come out in a robe with my shlong hanging out. I take it. We'll just take
the word hanging out. But I'm taking straight out. I can ask you. I probably did work for him from time
to time. But I guess because they were intimidated. Well, I mean, but first of all, it's intimidated. And secondly, some girls, you know, sexual
sexuality or whatever, they might have been a little more promiscuous. And did I say promiscuous?
They might have been, you know, I know girls that don't care like sex and like to fuck around and like to do crazy stuff
But that girl in that tape. I mean look it sounded a little she had a recording anytime
Is somebody's recording something? It's a it's a little sting. Okay, but that's not like I don't want to do it
No, and he come in come in no, I mean she said no
How many fucking times at At girls says no.
No means no.
And it scares the shit out of me,
because one, my instincts were off.
I thought we were on the same page sexually,
and then I do something.
She's like, no.
I'm like, oh shit.
Okay, I thought we were on the same page, apparently we're not.
I get fucking nervous,
because I don't want to go out for big, you do something that someone didn't want sexually.
You're in trouble.
You're in fucking trouble.
Also, there's this power differential that was at play.
He's this powerful guy.
She's not.
And if you let a guy like Harvey Weinstein get away with it, then the next thing you know,
you're going to have the President of the United States getting blown in the Oval Office and we can't have some wait a minute wait a minute that happened what happened
What's Bill Clinton you're get out I swear
Wouldn't that's so funny though it amazes me how best president ever though
I hear well that goes to what he's saying if you're a great president you can get blown in the office
Listen if peace and your wife will be like hey
Thank just ask me to I've never been was in some such a situation with the first the first oh
The first answer was no
But then you beg completed
Whatever it was and then you got a yes
Is that ever happened to you? Yeah, well my wife around a week ago. I was like it's our anniversary coming up my birthday's coming
What else do I what of the celebration do I need for you to touch my penis, please? But I'm, but I'm,
but she may be a cake. I saw I said I need to raise the Harvey Weinstein because again, what he
was accused of is over the, is this ridiculous. Yeah, those situations were different. Yeah.
You know, you brought them in under the guise of, there's no way, look at, there's no way you,
you can just tell room. Yeah, there's no way you can stick up. There's no way you can stick up there's no way you can stick up for Harvey
Weinstein you can't you can't there's no there's no
Galarrali though, but not hard one. All right listen. There's no way you can stick up for them
Just what the stuff that's coming out and you know what the real shame of it is and nobody's saying this because they're too polite is that
He's Jewish and we don't need that because because people don't say
oh there's goes a molester they go oh Jews you know what I'm saying and I would
say to him Harvey if you're going to behave like that at least take off the
amaca
I can't believe you got the seller off the ground
I didn't it's under it's off the ground. I didn't.
It's under.
It's under the ground.
We were working hard to get to the gutter.
Can I?
This is typical though.
I wanted to talk about, I was going to talk about,
my podcast is a very, my podcast is a very light-hearted conversation.
I was going to talk about, but no one comes in and goes, what do you think about rape?
Uh, back in the five seconds.
What?
All right, Jesus.
I, I know.
I don't even know what I said about how,
I don't even know what,
where am I gonna get in trouble?
Listen, yeah.
You started the comedy seller.
You can't prove it.
Which is really really I mean
Okay, here's what you did what you were part of
You started one of the greatest clubs in the world of all time
That's it. Thank you. I mean think about that sentence
You started one of the greatest clubs of all time in the world. Every comic knows about the comedy
seller. The greatest of the greats have played the comedy seller. And you know, now we're
talking 42 shows a week, 43, 42 shows a week sold out. So we're talking, we're talking we're talking 1981 you going please don't leave. Yes, please and Rick on the piano
La la la la la come back in and we'll sing right and then
To 42 shows a week sold the fuck out three from zero people from zero people to how many people is 40 thousands?
Yeah, that's crazy week
Thousands a week. Yes, and not to mention the people they turn away.
Yes.
This people they turn away.
And this has become, if you come to New York City
and you like stand up comedy, you're going to the seller.
And you're going to try to go to the seller.
Because if you think you're just going to,
how many times have you been out front now?
And there's like, can we buy tickets?
And the door guy goes no you get you
you can get us with the little love because it's for you. It's a really
ridiculous that he can you know what I mean and and and and and in those
that we chuckled for the completely opposite reason can you buy tickets
yeah come on
I mean who give me a list of the comics that would go on a show on a Friday night or Saturday night
In the early days when we first started no last week That was fun. He's such an ass. Hello. God
Bill Marr. Wow Rita Ruddner God
Rondarian who
Still Rondarian was the funniest the so far the ones he mentioned anyway really he was really the wow the one everybody looks forward to
He was a great act Ron. Really great act.
As far as I understand, John can solemnen that classic William Shatner impression. Yeah, I think Ron Daring was the first guy to do that.
I would say that what's his name Kevin
But what's his name? Kevin Pollock.
Pollock.
Yeah.
Did the Ron Daryen with William Shatner, which is derived from the Frank Gorshin.
Oh, William Shatner.
Oh, so there.
Which was really influenced by the Will Jordan William Shatner.
You're pretty sure you know.
Which was a derivative of the rich little William Shatner.
I had never seen William Shatton. I never seen wishing
I was about Ron Darryn. Sorry. Yeah, so Ron Darryn
Read a Ruddner Bill Marr
Who's the main one now?
Gilbert Godfrey. I didn't interrupt you. Gilbert Godfrey. Gilbert Godfrey. Gilbert Godfrey. Gilbert. What about now? What about now? There's like
Richard Pryor or Bill Cosby or the black.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
I am sorry, I don't want to bring it.
Weinstein is a Jew.
Don't bring up Bill Cosby, we're talking about rape again.
Oh, yeah.
Here was one of the guys at Weinstein, you know.
So, but did these guys come down, were they around?
Did they stop in?
Or was that the wrong?
Was that a wrap though?
Because they talk about comedy in the village.
Can you please get off your phone during the,
I mean, for one second.
I'm going to.
That's not funny.
That's what I was going to do.
You don't want to trick it beyond you.
Listen, you don't trick it beyond the,
you're my wife stuff.
I'm half Italian, half Irish, from Boston. You know, step on the wife thing.
Doesn't mean it's not funny.
No, that's actually true.
What's
This one makes me sick. This one makes me sick about no it makes me sick to my stomach. He's one of the funniest guys
I know it makes me sick that his father passed down a sense of humor to know him because if he's just
I he's just a motherfucker but he's one of the fastest funniest assholes I know because
he'll say something like you motherfucker then you think about it like that was a fucking
real good one god damn it that son of a bitch the club owner shouldn't be funny that's
my role but he is so so those guys came the Cosby's, the priors, the village, the village, the those guys used to talk about,
like the cafe wa, which was a different wa, then that wa, and the bitter end, and the, and the, and the village gate,
that was the, that was the 60's.
Oh, right, okay.
That was the 60's, 60s. Oh right. Okay. That was a 60s maybe into the early 70s
Right the walk the walk closed 68 so it really was the 60s like the 60s
What made what made you want to what made you want to?
Start a club what what what did you see down there that you're like oh, we do we do a comedy?
Did you were you not getting in at the improv and the other clubs? No, seriously, was this an alternative comedy, Eugene Murman explains it.
Alternative comedy wasn't a different style of comedy.
It was just we were doing the same comedy.
Just we were doing it at alternative venues because these the comedy
seller and Caroline's wouldn't let us perform.
So we had to find a place.
Was that what the seller was?
Like, let me find a place where I can get up whenever I want and do us perform. So we had to find a place. Was that what the seller was? Like, let me find a place where I can get up whenever I want
and do my thing.
I would say there is an element of that.
Although right from the beginning, I said,
this has to be a business.
Oh, my right here.
This has, it never leaves you.
Yeah.
I didn't tell you.
Right from the beginning, I respected the fact that it needed to be a business.
Yeah.
Because it couldn't exist for my jollies.
Right.
And that would have to be the number one thing.
Right.
And as a matter of fact, that actually hurt me as a performer in ways that I can get back to.
But to answer your question, it was not the first comedy club that I can get back to. But to answer your question,
it was not the first comedy club that I started. The first comedy club that I started,
because I go way back now,
in Boston, I was living in Boston, no way.
Yeah.
And I was looking for a place to start in Boston,
because that was in the days where there were no places.
Barclay and Downs had the comedy connection in Boston. I know I know that that was it okay and so I said well gee maybe there's room
for another comedy club and there was a place called the string field string field street
saloon that was a a chuck wagon western restaurant right with wagon wheels and stage coaches and they had a back room, a party room, and
that was my first one. I put Stephen Wright on for the very first time
any place. Wow. And the audience just stared at him. But you know, he was just starting. Yeah.
And Mitch K. Por who went on to develop Lotus 123 and $8 billion.
Wow, which I take credit for because
Lotus the software.
Yeah, because I told Mitch, listen, up now.
Yeah, he's him.
Lotus the software.
Like if you know, Lotus was a big deal.
Yeah, it wasn't.
You took me to the guy who invented porn.
I put the guy who invented porn.
I'd be like, what?
That's right.
And that's how it's Gary Saunders.
Well, no, but he said him a Jew, by the way, for you guys.
Well, he just got a porn because it's software.
Oh, oh, oh, but seriously,
my point, and I have one.
Will you a sweat hog at any time in your life?
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
my wife insists that I was.
Okay.
Oh, but yours said nothing about it.
Oh!
What I tell you about my wife, what I tell you about.
I know.
But he got away with it.
I thought maybe.
He knows my wife.
I understand.
I'm not saying who does it.
No, but that's not the point
Hey, hey, I right yeah, but now I pitch him grabbing my wife
finger pop of my wife
You and your baseball terminology.
It's a good analogy for a lot of things.
Hi.
A lot of misdeeds be cleansed after the night.
If it turns out right.
Yeah, if Harvey just had a sense of humor.
So go ahead, Stephen, right?
Stephen, we really started at the beginning here, so we got to get moving.
Yeah, we're doing an hour, okay?
Mitch K. Porton, do you know what he didn't have any crowd back then.
I'm still where you're from, I'm still where you're from.
So, so Mitch K. Porton who invented Lotus 1-3, the software, I take credit for the development
of that because I said to him, Mitch, the comedy thing is not for you.
And he quit, he was hurt, but he went and he focused on
where he should have focused.
So I take credit.
Anyway, and so that became the Ding Ho.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Geez.
Dude, you have the the the the mightest touch.
I mean, you're the guy who created,
I mean, the ding-hole for all you ding-bats out there
who don't know is where the greatest comics from Boston
came from.
I mean, that's the spot.
And now you're talking about that, which is,
I mean, in the history of comedy,
is fucking up there.
And now the comedy seller, I mean, you're the guy.
I'm the guy.
You should be the guy that opens every,
people should pay you to go in and survey,
like no, no comedy club here.
Like no, you could put a comedy club here.
Where do I feel it?
Yeah.
You walk into a place, they have a brand new room,
but you're like no, we need to put the comedy club
with the dairy queen is.
That's where it's gonna be a hotspot.
That's in the back. That's exactly right. Wow, that's crazy. And then I
had a radio show in Boston and I think you're going okay and then the little club, but then
we moved. I moved to New York, started a place on the Upper West side, which I hear Jerry is going to buy.
It was the Dallas Jones Swiss L.A. Barbecue on 72nd Street.
Well, no, it's actually called the West Side Comedy Club.
Is that it?
It's something about West Side and the Park, like on 72nd.
But I heard Jerry wasn't buying it.
Oh, he's not going to buy it.
Wow, now he put it here.
You hear it because it scares the shit out of him.
Yeah, please don't do this on my podcast. Oh, don't get
Yeah, don't give us inside information that you know because it's kind of ruined the whole trip. What's he gonna do there? Oh God strip club?
Jerry's doing a strip club
He's doing now he's doing a strip club anyway
So it's all started all over
So I did I did so I asked my side her
I hope you just call him Quinn right now as a text Jerry right now. Oh, he's not ever got so we so there was a little room on the
Upward side. Yes, and it was the back the party wants to end that's who we started with. We started with Bill Maher and Rita and Daryl.
Wow.
Jonathan Solomon and Gabe Abelson.
That's a word, that's a comic name you don't hear anymore.
Gabe.
Gabe.
Used to be a lot of a few Gabe's in comedy.
Now it's Gabriel.
Yeah, what happened to the name Gabe?
I want to bring it back.
You should have have another kid name it Gabe.
I had to have this act of me. Oh, jeff still is really adding just sunshine to this
podcast. Bring up Harvey Weinstein. You've vice-sector me. You bummed out about a new
comedy club. Jeff Stilson, you remember Jeff? Oh, hello.
Oh, he's you bumming about the course.
Of course, I'm. What have I done why what did you hear that Jerry's doing I would rather he'd be here
And I mean if you don't want to be a surprise if it's true
We're here for me on a podcast about everybody. Where did you hear you? You can cut that out? No?
You think this is true. I don't know I heard the rumor. So it's a rumor Jerry
Jerry did Jerry call you when I was in New York. I think
I'm a, somebody said it to do. It's to might have been from Natham. Yeah, you can't. It
was in Adam. Say it. Just say it was not. It was not a man. Okay. Yeah. There you go. Anything
out of Natham is mouth. He's okay with. He knows it's a lie. Uh, it's all right. Don't
worry about it. Oh, it's having a lunch of Jerry jerry he told me uh... the reason i think he might not do it not is because he's such good
friends with
christmas is a god for
the like pal's yeah
i don't know if he would want to become a competitor to his
yeah he has to be the money
yeah maybe it's maybe a different concept of something that he thinks is
well there you go
and they go to spot cast so it was really it was not a man that it was so anyways back to you of the something that he thinks is. Wow, there you go. And there goes this podcast.
That's it.
So anyways, it was Nat him.
It was Nat him.
Nat him.
So anyways, back to you.
Did you give Jerry the blessing?
I didn't talk to him about it.
And then these so.
But it was it was kind of working kind of not.
But we had a couple of good reviews.
Like New York Post and a couple of places gave us good reviews.
Right.
So then I said, it's not, it's not, it's not happening.
Right.
So I said, where else can I go?
Yeah.
And I called Dom Myrera.
You know Dom?
I love Dom.
So I called Dom Myrera.
I bought a Bing.
I bought a boom.
And I said to Dom, I said, where else should I go?
He said, why don't you go to the village?
There's a ton of people down there. So I went down to the village and I looked for places that had upstairs, I said, where else should I go? He said, why don't you go to the village? There's a ton of people down there.
So I went down to the village and I looked for places
that had upstairs, the downstairs, the back,
or something, and then I walked past the comedy seller
like three times because in those days,
it was not the welcoming kind of play.
It was a staircase.
And well, no, it's what's going on down there.
It's still a little, I give people credit
to walk down those stairs. All these just chubby chubby foreigners making their way down that like the steep
angle staircase. Actually, the sign was a little bit lower. Was it always banged ahead? I remember that.
When did you upgrade? Like my father saw a lot of it. Yeah was right. Yeah, it was a price that because the big the open picture windows and the olive tree
Yeah, but now they were much bigger and we had to make them smaller and order to accommodate the signs really
Wow see there's a lot goes goes into this people think oh you just book comics
Well, there's a lot of me just fast-forward a little bit you go you show far you go in and you meet manny
And you and you have to persuade him. Is it easy?
I walked in. I had the reviews with me. That's great. And I said,
what are you doing with the room downstairs? And he said, it's a Brazilian piano bar.
What the fuck is that? Billy Blanco, right? Billy Blanco and Anna was the other girl,
the fear of less than.
Was there a little little regret running around going,
me, me, me, me, me?
No.
No, OK.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Come on.
I made Liz laugh.
I don't care.
That's my audience.
I have no more.
And we'll laugh at anything you say.
Whoa.
Whoa.
What's up, man?
She's your, she's your, her road list.
So she can't tell you meant my father.
Yes.
There's a problem with having somebody like know him on the podcast.
He loses.
As soon as it's not about rape or politics, he loses.
Go ahead.
So, all right.
Go ahead.
Well, act a little bit.
I want to say it because I know that my father took to Bill immediately because they both came
from kind of the same Yiddish culture.
So my people like kindred spirits in that.
Yes.
So it's true that a lot of things, a lot of success
that Jews have is because it's like, you know,
yeah, they keep it in the family.
They keep it in the family.
Yeah, they keep it in the family. They keep it in the family. Yeah, they keep it in the family
He really like that
So so show you yeah
So yeah, so I said to him I said what are you are you doing? And he said, Brazilian Piano Bar, and I repressed the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like,
really, I repressed that.
Right.
I said, okay, what time does it start?
Could you imagine if he just was like, no,
Brazilian Piano, it's gonna work.
It's gonna work.
She works working.
Yeah, it worked.
Well, it was, it was working.
And I said, well, what time do you get busy?
He says like 10 o'clock. I said, okay. And I showed him the reviews, it worked. Well, it was it was working and I said well, what time do you get busy? He says like 10 o'clock. I said, okay, and I showed in the reviews. Yeah, I said I want to do a comedy room
Yeah, I will start at eight o'clock and we'll be out by the time the Brazilian piano bar starts
Yeah, and if any of your people come early, they can stay they come early
Yeah, something going on the rooms live. Yeah, right? And if any var people want to stay they stay
And then I will do a cover we'll do a minimum and then it said it's better and then he said well going on the rooms live, right? And if any of our people want to stay, they can stay.
And then I will do a cover, we'll do a minimum,
and then it said it, et cetera.
And then he said, well, basically he said,
I don't know what the hell you're talking about,
but it sounds like I can't lose.
And I said, yeah, you can't lose.
Oh, we got to win a lot.
I don't know.
We got to win a little.
I don't know, but we can't lose because there's no way to lose.
And so that's how the whole thing started. Now, let me ask you
this now, and how old are you when this happened? How old? I was like, uh, uh, 20? Now did you go down
and see the comedy and go, what the fuck is this? What are you like, what are they doing down here,
dad? I mean, you saw the Brazilian piano bar. Did you do that once nobody like
you're so nobody all right listen I could put a donkey rides in front of the
salad be in for a month I'm in I'm sorry I'm in let's do it hey can we
do let's bring it back let's bring it back in the pussy get one more show
let's do it every Wednesday all right move on will you excited about
Really, but I was I was in college. I wasn't really you didn't the comedy said they had these guys down there doing comedy now
Did you did you know it with the no was famous at the people that you're bringing down weren't famous
I don't know all I wanted to do was be like the fourth room in Manhattan
There was the strip. There was catch
They were improv. I just wanted to be the fourth room. I just wanted to eke out, you know, some kind of yeah
Some kind of living didn't expect this but did but did this ever did it ever
Come to fruition while you were there
Yeah, oh, we started selling out shows on Saturday and then
now what was multiple shows and Friday and that point?
But, yes, nothing like what,
no, um, and Liz and SD have done since,
since I left.
Yeah, let's just say no, because we'll,
we'll all have to hear about it.
One, there was one bonus of contention between him
and my father and, and I don't know that bill was wrong
But history proved him wrong
But he might not have been wrong at the time that he was saying this things may have changed
Yeah be fair to bill
But bill always regarded the weeknights as a lost cause
Bill very much felt that the weekends were
Word the show. Yeah, and during the week it was whatever whatever you could do and my father know
I want I want to get so we could always like friction about getting the best names to come down con volotea la legión de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de pelÃcula y un sincindia aventuras desperan.
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So I don't know that it was possible at the time that I was there.
I think it was funny because you, I mean, to do comics instinctually, you work weekends.
So it's in your brain, you work weekends.
You do spots during the week at crappy places just to work stuff up or you go on the road
and you work, you work weekend.
So it makes sense what you're saying from a comic's point of view.
But there is these uncanny.
His father did have these things that he would implement.
They'd be like, what the fuck is that?
And it worked.
His father was a natural showman and a natural emprasario.
Even though comedy was a new genre for him, the basic physics of show business across
all genres.
He had a long history of being a shaman in that neighborhood in that milieu and he yeah you just used like nine big words
what nine big words I just used nine I mean nine one of the English John was the last
one that's where I'm going to you oh two French words well Well, maybe one thing wants to fuck me. And not one thing.
Oh!
You know the French thing makes people crazy.
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So here you are, you open this up.
What makes you go buy-buy?
What makes you let this up?
Did you make money? It's up and left. this up did you make you made money up and left
This is story he really up and left. No, here's here's here's a story. Did you get a gig? No, no
I it was the first time going to look at some kind of I don't know if Bill's still bitter about this
But there was at one time Bill did want to become a partner. Yes, and we can talk about this right doesn't matter
No, it doesn't matter, no. Doesn't matter.
Now, be dead in 22 years.
Who cares?
22.
I have to get that Hachoo Zah, a very happy, very happy.
I have term life insurance.
And I wanted to save a couple hundred dollars.
I'm only good to January of 2041.
And my father didn't, it wasn't, it wasn't my father,
my father did not believe in partners,
because he had had a very, very bad experience.
Very bad experience.
And so they couldn't come to terms on that.
And I think at that point maybe Bill then began to look
for other options.
I don't know.
Yeah, well, I had to, I felt like,
I was, I felt like I was at a crossroads. I
Had done some interesting things
Hang on one second just pause shut the phone on that on just shut the phone
I want me to text her while you're doing outside. We're doing podcast. No, just just shut the
Take it out
Just take it out. I'll unscrew the back.
And then just slide it up.
And then I'm holding this position for the reason at all.
Yeah, just hold that position.
You don't have to hold that position.
It's not the old days.
It's not film.
I'm very disciplined performer.
I can hold this position as well. You got it? I'm sorry, Liz. I can hold this position.
You got it? I'm sorry Liz, thank you very much.
Did you hit record? Yes, it's for record.
Okay, great. We're back.
Yeah, okay, good.
Is your head across roads?
You had a crossroads.
So I was crossroads.
And, yes.
I was, I had been doing some interesting things in addition to the comedy seller.
Yes.
I had a radio show on WNBC in New York
where I was on Saturday and Sunday afternoon.
The Wild Bill Grunt Fest Show.
The Wild Bill Grunt Fest Show,
which some people still actually remember,
even in LA, people say, are you the guy?
With his wife.
Oh, let's show.
So, she was the brains in that outfit.
Yeah.
No, she was some more best. But he's the best. You know, he's the worst, but he's the brains in it. Yeah. No, she was so best.
But he's the best.
You know, he's the worst, but he's the best.
I was glad it's on you, not me.
I'm half Irish and half Italian, so...
No fuck with his wife.
Hey, that came out wrong.
It's something like that, I'm pretty sure.
And if I was tougher, I would know.
So you and your wife had a radio show.
No, what you're leaving was.
So was that day and Sunday afternoon from two to seven and then also I would sit in,
I would fill in when Don I must was gone or so.
Wow.
Wow.
Or Joey Reynolds is gone.
Wow.
And I would do all of that.
So it was a great gig.
Yeah.
And then I was doing, now you're running the seller.
Are you picking the, are you making us? So they had to go through you. You were the gatekeeper. Yes then I was doing now you're running the seller are you picking the game? Are you making us so they had to go through you
You are the gatekeeper. Yes, I was doing a lot of power you are wielding. Yes a lot of power now. Did you
Did you wield it in the right way? Oh, did you ever take advantage of it like a Lucian like a
Yeah, hey Kelly come in here no just massage me
you want spots on Saturday no
be the Kelly Rogers that I would be saying that
put down the guitar and you know nobody knows
about this mind bomb you should just let it die
didn't you and Rita Rudner have a
no you fucked Rita Rudner
oh it's an exclusive!
Although, let me say that Rita is just... Has great boobs.
Just most graceful, you know, person.
Yeah, most graceful female comedian that's never been on a stage.
And the most disciplined writer.
She even, those, she has a dancers mentality.
She was a dancer.
A Broadway show level dancer.
I was too.
But, okay. And she would have the composition notebooks and she'd always be writing jokes.
She took that same dancers discipline joke writing and and she had that same
point of view. Right always. Right. The one that she has now she had back then.
Okay. So did you or didn't you? No. Did you make out with her? No.
Nothing at all.
You shared an apartment with her, didn't you?
No.
I took, I sublet her apartment from her and didn't change any of the decor.
And so when women came over, they thought I was half a fruit.
Yeah.
Half a fruit.
You say that.
You're the all fruit of your head.
Hey, there's no half a fruit.
It's a fruit ball. Yeah, you have evening gowns hanging in the closet.
You're not half-a-fruit.
I'm the whole produce section.
Let me ask, so you had all this power.
You were running this, you had all this stuff going on
in New York City.
I'll tell you, we did the exact opposite.
And Manny was on the same page with me,
right from the beginning.
We did the exact opposite.
The reason, to me, the DNA of the club boils
down to how we treated, respected, liked the comedians. I mean, it boils down to that.
It goes down, let me tell you, from a comedian who works there now, and has, I think, almost
20 years might be. It's it comes down from
the top. Yes. Okay, so when the door guy treats me with respect, when the
waitress treats me with respect, even if they don't fucking wanna, they do. It's
because the the the owners and the managers, everybody's like, look, you fucking treat
these guys good. Not not that we can, you know, get out of line of beassholes,
but you go to some clubs,
they don't give a fuck when you're on stage,
that the manager doesn't give a shit about you,
they just don't fucking care.
And if you care about the comedians,
the comedians care about the club,
the loyal to the club,
the greatest comedians wanna work there,
then you have the greatest shows ever,
and it's this culmination of that.
So that's interesting this combination of that.
So that's interesting that you say that.
It was right from the very beginning.
And like when I would say, guys, hey, come down.
I know it's a schlep to come down from the improv, you know.
So we're going to pay you, we're going to pay you a little bit more than the other clubs,
which they do too.
That's right.
And so it started right then.
Yeah.
I'm going to pay you a little more than the other club.
Still not going to pay you what you're actually worth.
Yeah.
But going to pay you more.
Yeah.
So you know what was it?
Ten cents a show.
Ten cents.
Ten cents a dance.
And also we said as opposed to like some of the uptown clubs where you get one drink to
get and you can order anything from this 16th part of the uptown clubs where you get one drink ticket and you can order
anything from this 16th part of the menu. We said, come down, eat, drink. This is
your place. Having a gig at the salad when I first moved to New York was
dinner. I mean getting in at the salad to go down and have chicken kebab with rice and Israeli
salad and a drink and a coffee and it was like free.
It was like, oh my god.
It was probably plenty of restaurants at Seinfeld's Club.
You don't know.
I'm sorry.
I said Chris.
I'm on mine.
I'm just going to get on this mine.
That's it.
Madam and just call.
Madam and just call, he said he was wrong
And he was wrong to tell me and spread such rumor so so so here you go
So I said but now did you know known back then? I knew him okay, but here's my man. Did you like him?
Yes, you want to know something? I know that I ever said this to you. Oh, they were they were
He didn't say yet. Let him let him say it might not be good.
No, but there there were times where you know five and sons have their you know their
fight. Yeah, friction. Yeah. And and he would say some man he would say something to me whatever.
And I would say hey you know relax. Yeah. He's your son and by the way he know, relax. Yeah. You son. And by the way,
he's your son. Yeah. So, you know, you got to give him some,
some slack, some understand because he's got a little bit of you in him.
So, you know, where's that going to go? Yeah. So it's just all relaxed.
And, you know, yeah. Thank you, Bill. You're welcome.
Man, I don't know what you're thinking of for. He just, he took he took he was you try to tell my father to ease up on me a little bit
We did you know there's an old rabbinical story so he so he says
I mean father's alive. He probably ever now. I'm kidding
There's a rabbinical story about old rabbi in the 1800s and he was in the marketplace and his I can't believe him
This is the first rabbbina colt story
on any white
ever
go look up rebina colt
spaz right now
and it's a seary what does rebina colamine it's like this
rebina colt
it's next to genre and will you
uh...
and so way
he was in the marketplace and his students said,
is there anybody here in the marketplace
who's guaranteed a place in heaven?
Yes.
And the rabbi looks around and he says, no.
And then two people walk in, two guys walk in
and they dress weird and they don't have fringes
on the clothes and he says those two.
And so the students run over and go,
what do you do?
What do you do?
And they say we're comedians.
We're comedians and we make, with people who are sad, we make them laugh.
And when there are quarrels, we try to bring peace.
And so even the rabbis taught that comedians are guaranteed a place in heaven.
Is this true?
Is this true?
This is true.
Oh, thank God I've done so much bad shit. With all this wine scene stuff, come on. I'm going to help.
I've never heard that. Yeah, it is a matter of fact, my rabbi made this part of his sermon
in on Yom Kippur, which we just had. That's kid off your phone. Would you get off the
phone for 10 seconds? Don't leave. Don't leave.'t leave So and then in 1982 yes, and then in fourth grade
What are you knocking with your eyebrows?
Oh god
Mark Cohen just showed up sit down sit down over here sit right here
sit right here Liz grat let them have that no sit over here no no no sit right here yeah
hi buddy how are you how are you oh my god This is I feel like I'm in a bummitch right now. Are we a Jewish camp?
We're a camp hour crash right now
We're gonna be a story. Yeah, move down here. Move down here. Get in the camera. Let me check
They got a Jewish frost a father for three years. I'd be uncomfortable right now
Jewish foster father for three years. I'd be uncomfortable right now.
What's that?
Oh yeah, not a TV.
No, we are.
We're video tape right there.
Oh yeah, hold on.
Wait, I'm not in the shot.
Wait a second.
No, you're in the shot.
I know you like my foster father.
Oh, wow.
Back up a little bit.
That's true.
Oh.
What is it?
Now I'm uncomfortable.
Oh, I think a good loving.
You look good. Jesus man. I knew it. I knew what's Oh, I think a good loving. Jesus, man.
I knew it.
I knew what's wrong.
Came in.
The speed on this bug gets us.
Who is this?
Jesus, you think of this.
I listen.
So we're all the way up to,
we're up to where he started.
No, no, no.
The comedy's salary and he's,
he had all the things going on in him him and Mani, he wanted a piece,
so be a partner.
Mani was basically like, no, he saved, no Mani's relationship
numerous times.
No.
No, no, I'm not, I'm just saying that in the balance of things
that goes back to the rabbinical story,
that people who, while I know we're all bunch comedy horrors,
but in terms of actually believing in what one does,
I feel like if I could cure cancer,
I'd be out someplace in a lab, curing cancer.
I can't cure cancer.
I think the rabbi's had never Robert's at.
Yeah, I don't think that.
I've ever been to a joke in the blowing of my mouth.
Well listen, I blew it up.
You made me hang on.
That's a great joke.
That's a great joke.
And I did it because I love my son.
Don't take that out of context.
See this joke before you write that blog on that one.
I'm not sure what context that would work in, but go ahead.
He had baby rash.
All right, so you started to come and say, so now this thing, Mark, you were there when he
was there, or did you come after him?
Oh, no, no, he was there.
I was there pretty close, but you had already been going for a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, he's asking if you came to the comedy seller after I left.
Yes, as a matter of fact, but I, no, no, you came to the comedy seller while I was still
there.
Right.
Yes. But you weren't there the first night I was there.
SD.
SD was there.
SD called another club.
Right.
Yes.
And they sent me down.
Yes.
And I worked out good for like two weeks.
And then I got in trouble with Rick.
Why?
Why would you do?
I don't know.
What'd you do?
I didn't really do anything.
I did a pair.
I remember Queen of the Road.
I used to do with it.
Queen of the Road.
Wasn't that Rick? That's Queen of the Road.
Oh wow. See, I made it funny. I didn't go to the gutter. He went right to the gutter.
Who's going to hell now? Go ahead. But so he thought, he didn't know where it was coming
from. He thought I was against the homo section. Yeah, they speak. Yeah. Oh, sorry
And I was actually kicked out of the cellar for a little while really. Yeah, but then you and Rick became very good friends Oh, yeah, I mean it was a nice. I just can't say his he fit Rick Rick like my father never you can say his he fit
You can't say sissy fit
Father was defended you
Claudia Claudia was a big good Mark Cohen fan. You father had a girlfriend. Yeah, this is before
I was did you turn the mic off?
Did Liz turn off with the thumb? Okay, God
So but I don't I don't we were actually banned. I was yeah, they SD said don't come by any oh my god for like a couple weeks
I don't know how I did but you sure that was was because of that or she didn't see your set.
She said that she had a bavocat shop for the 15th time.
It was so good.
I don't know what that means.
Google that too.
She had a bavocat shop.
Oh, Jews.
So it sounds worse than it was, but that really worked out.
So now, was the seller, can you get off your phone?
You're like a 13 year old girl
It was it's somebody texting me about about a comedian right and all I can read so far was it was consensual
Okay, of course, yeah, That's what Harvey once said.
Let me finish.
That's what I asked somebody who used to work there.
Like, you remember when you was at, was that okay?
I hardly wise your mind when she said no, it was consensual.
Well, you did.
And it wasn't me.
Oh, sorry.
What, some comedian and some girl did?
Really?
And you said it was consensual.
Wow.
It's years ago.
Okay, so listen.
So, I know the girl.
Do I know the girl?
Yes. Do I know the comedian? Yes
Really really really we're gonna do that to us it runs with booey DK
Boey DK booey
He's Robinson
He's robbing him! What's up?
He's just riding with Blondell Herodin.
You've all referenced the couch.
And this couch knows how to reference it.
We know it's not Tick Chrome.
I just said his name
Listen, so so now the comedy sellers poppin right now, right? Yeah, it's killing you come in
So it wasn't killing well when I when I was good when I was left when I left yes, we were doing three
Even good terms. Absolutely. Okay, okay
Pump and when when I started there was jammed
Yeah, we had we were doing three shows on Saturday. Yeah, my doing that's a
Three show like this shows on Friday two two shows of
Two shows of three shows on Saturday. Yes, two shows on Friday
Yes, and then one long show every other night of the week like a continuous show. Yeah
No, yeah, that's what they used to have when I When I started the seller, I remember she would call you up to host and you just you'd want to cry
Because it was from nine to two to two unless
God-free was on the last spot then it was nine to three
Because he would he would ignore the light and then I let 20 minutes over the light and you'd flick it on off
He goes, oh, do you give me the light?
I
Used to I started lighting his money on fire. I would hold his money in the thing and I'd light it on fire
But you want to know something about those long hours. Yes
Some people turn back to their advantage school. It was school
That's right. It was cool. That's a good time time. And John Stewart, as a matter of fact, looked that up to.
John Stewart.
Is he Jewish too?
Yes.
And he actually, he told us to, the LA Times, they did an interview with him and among the
things he talked about, he talked about was how I would give him midnight to two, to host.
And he said that's when he really learned the most.
That's when he came up with Yiddlaq.
Google that.
Divertora.
But the fuck he was in New York.
No, I can I say something to that?
I agree with that because I used to have to nine to two.
And it was just a, uh, a, when you first got it,
like oh my god, but halfway through a two year
stint of hosting, I was like, oh, I'm gonna kill myself.
And then Tom Pop actually told me that it's the best
because you're learning how to go up fresh, cold crowd,
get them, let them go.
And then have somebody murder, go back up, get them again, let them go. Go with somebody murder go back up get them again
Let them go go go with somebody now somebody bombs. You got to get them
Let them go and you had to learn how to to let a crowd go when you got them and get them back and give up your ego to the show
Give up your ego to the show
show. Learn that part. Well, what a talk. It taught me. I did learn that because by, by, it's not debatable. Says the man with the biggest ego in the room. Okay. I didn't
say it. But the weird thing is when you move from, when you go from New York to LA, I was
like, hey, let me MC and they're like, okay.
And then I get a call from some of the managers like, don't MC at the clubs in LA because you'll be the MC.
The MC is like the worst guy on the show.
I'm like, that doesn't make sense.
It should be the best guy or one of the, you know.
Yeah, well, no, but you know what I mean?
It should be something that can do what you said.
That's right. Get the back of it.
But people always hate hosting, but it's like middle like even
on the road, I always say the middleer is the worst spot because it's the best spot. You do 20 minutes.
It doesn't matter. You can kill it your best 20 nobody get no way to the shows on you. You're not
selling tickets. You're not opening up the room. You don't have to go the host is the hardest,
but you learn the most because you have to learn how to control that massive crowd
and get them, and as soon as you get them,
let them go to the next guy.
I love the middle though that's on the road
and it's just spend the whole week trying to bury you.
Yeah, I'm gonna get, so I can headline.
I like that too, never happens.
Yeah, I think that's horrible.
Yeah, that's the best. The The road we do the road. I know that's the place outside of
New York City. Yeah. Outside. Yes. That's you know. Sleep. What are you doing? No. What
do you have going on? No, somebody else is going to be on the phone. I'm at the door. No, no mess. Look at no mess a lot of stuff going on
I've been this was lying this morning
And I heard you guys were having a good time. We have it. You must have heard us laugh. I heard the fake laughter
You must have heard us laugh. I heard the fake laughter.
That was for me.
I'm gonna interrupt.
Listen.
Well, I mean, now you, I just want to, we're gonna wrap this up now.
I can talk.
What?
Having such a good time because Nome is deteriorated.
I know, Nome.
You don't need me.
You don't need me.
No, no, because I need you because we're getting into your era.
We're gonna be getting into your era
Because then that get to it. I tried to 1940s. These fucking mule and crimes want to just yeah
I hosted it was sort of not and then I came and I took the thing over and
Yeah, please bill left we didn't know and was it like is their life after Bill Grunfess? Like, what are we gonna do?
Like, there was a, most people probably thought we were done.
Right.
Just for the record.
Yes.
But instead, the business blew.
It was unbelievable.
It was only getting back for the 20 years.
You were a weight on Mani's chest.
It was a big star line.
The 90s, but at the time.
Rick became funny
Lusion
I don't call it an illusion
You said illusion I didn't know Rick was gay
I didn't know Rick was gay. He's mad about it.
I didn't know his gay for the first time.
The first three years I was working in the cellar.
And then Pete Coralie comes off stage.
One night he goes, Jesus, guys, gay.
And I go, I go, I go, Rick.
He's like, he's gay, he goes, dude.
And he points in, Rick going, you can sacrifice his background.
Stand in the back row.
And I was like, oh my God, I never knew it.
You know, Gator, it goes off when he's alone. Ha, ha, ha recover from building right. It was sucker before Rick though, right?
Yes, before Rick Charles Hooker was there for like a year.
He was great.
He was great.
So he was great.
But then but where did you go?
You would tell that and you and you and you what happened?
You became a writer on a show, correct?
Yeah, yeah, what happened was this before I left,
I had done a couple of shows.
Don't rush in Robert.
Liz, I've only there in his own time. Oh, you're talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me.
You were talking to me. You were talking to me. You were talking to me. You were talking to me. You were talking to me. I am done a couple of one time you were in one of my specials. Yes, the chicken the chicken that ate Christmas. I
Did a couple of specials for VH1. Yes VH1
Wanted to do because I had the radio show in NBC. Yes, I had the comedy sellers
Yes, and VH1 started becoming interested or let's do a comedy special. Yeah, let's do
So I never thought so how else you're gonna find out so why
do you turn to a rabbi what are you gonna do I'll tell you right now if you
should your face fill out you have to become less Jewish to impersonate a rabbi
I said great idea, great idea, but here's the problem, was I knew something they didn't know, which is I had no act.
And I knew it.
I do not have an act.
You are a bit of the salad.
With stand, I did not feel that my act would
withstand the scrutiny of a stand-up.
Because you were a host.
I was an essence of a host, yes.
I was an entertainer.
I didn't have, you know, I never had become,
I never became as good as I wanted to be.
So as a comic, as, you know, still.
But, my point is, and so we did the first special,
I should say, how about this,
for the same amount of money that you're gonna spend
on the stand-up, right? I'll write a whole script and it'll be a thing and
it'll be like a romantic comedy and I wrote this thing. And Jessica Tuck, who was a soap opera
star at the time, she was like, it was like a Harry Met Sally, and we used the music videos
and of course a tell in the story and it went great. It went crazy. It went crazy.
It was like writing it as it was going, right? Do I remember that correctly? I might think
well, you know, you have to adjust as you go.
But so that went really well and they gave me a second one that Mark was in.
It was called the Chicken the Eight Christmas.
And it was a, yeah, and he played, it was about a guy, a real asshole, like a real,
I played the asshole.
Okay.
Typecasting.
And he's about a guy who worked for a a chemical waste company.
Have you been dying to tell the story for a long time?
I called the last night.
Okay.
You can't get him, Faber.
We haven't got them yet i have to be less
that's gonna be in his act
i think i wrote a new joke
i stole from some place completely
not
so uh...
so uh... i played a guy who uh...
chemical waste company we didn't make the chemicals, we just made the waste.
And these things work on batteries.
Oh, gosh.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, we need to speed this shit up, okay?
Yeah.
Yes.
So what showed you right on?
So then, not the first one.
That's a good one.
That's what turned me on to the idea of maybe writing.
Right.
It's going to be the thing.
Right. Because at that point I was 34.
Yeah. Wow.
I looked in the mirror and I said, you know something?
I've had this shot. I have a dish out of this shot.
If I was going to become a star, it would be happening.
Yeah. It's not happening.
Right.
But the writing was cutting through when people started.
Hang on one second.
Yeah.
Okay. Go ahead.
I went to LA with my scripts under my arms and I just schmoozed people and I would say
to meet people every place I'd say, and they would say, what do you do?
I'd say, I'm a writer.
And they would tell me, I'd love to read your stuff sometime.
And instead of, everybody says, I'd love to read your stuff sometime.
But I would hand them my stuff.
Oh my God.
And hand them an envelope with three scripts in it.
Wow. And that's what they would say. They would say wow
Yeah, it was kidding exactly and and but about homework for people. Yes
Yeah, but about 25% of the people that I gave scripts to actually would call me and say hey
I enjoyed it or whatever really?
So whatever that's a good person and then one that is a good person and then one of them called to say
We want to option this thing. Hey, my name is littleda. I met you on a bus. You gave me this script
I'm sorry. I'm not doing this thing. It's called it's called whoops. I'm the president. Oh, I love my
Step to my point sign. You're fucking ass. I was doing a black. What were you gonna say?
I did a black lady in a bus was one of the ladies that he had a character with a backstory. I did a black lady in a bus
I had a character with a backstory. I did a black lady on a bus.
Loretta, I'm Loretta.
You gave me the spirit on the bus.
I think it was good.
You know what I mean?
We stepped on my punchline.
When it buried Diamond Show.
I really thought I saw the light in the tunnel.
Like, what?
No, it's a fucking, we're at another fucking strip.
Another tunnel.
Yeah, to the good one, would you?
It's a trouble.
Oh my god. Can you not make us read this like reading the story
So I was called who's on the president. It was about a comedian okay who for publicity stunt runs for president
And I know it's definitely wins bill nobody's gonna buy it now
It's definitely wins bill nobody's gonna buy it now all right no they're making it
No, they have this thing the mayor there's about a entertainer who runs from mayor
It's a black guy you wouldn't be in I love black people. Why would you say?
I don't have no glass at my comedy show, but
First cuz they're late now I'm kidding. Come on we can make fun of the Jews not the blacks
George is black right judge
So literally so we do a table again. I get it. We do a table read here's who the table read is yeah Okay, are you gonna go to Kvell? Okay, okay?
We're almost Bill more wow played the guy. guy. Yeah, they could be Larry Miller played his
Agent who becomes the chief of staff. Okay in the way. Yep
Mickey Dolan's directed Wow
Yeah George Wallace was
God was Uncle Phil. Yeah
And anyway, so you can imagine how funny that table read way that's crazy. I mean
That's a pretty epic those guys are all hilarious and you know, and then I got my first job to make a long story short
You got my first job the show got canceled and then Matt about you got made and I was with the pilot
Yes, oh with the matter you were the pilot as a writer. Yeah as the head writer. No, no
producer. I was a writer producer throughout the show from the
Wow, and he came head writer you became head writer, right? No, I was
a writer who gave head
How do you think I got the job?
I was supervising producer the show and
And I wrote more episodes than anybody else ever wrote.
That's amazing.
So you were one of the writers on the show.
I mean, I'm a head show for what?
Eight years, ninety?
Seven years.
Seven years.
Sorry.
So that did very well.
And then development deals after that.
Yeah.
And then other stuff.
And then one of the things that I, you know, in my career, is I did a thing for showtime
with Richard Pryor, where I actually produced Richard's
last two projects of his life.
Really?
So I'm saying that's what killed him.
But at the point is, now the point is,
there's actually title pages that say
written by Richard Pryor and Billy Grunfus.
Wow.
Which is crazy.
Did you frame that?
Frame it, laminated it.
Yes.
Have a wallet saw.
Hand it to people at Starbucks.
That's what you like to read something.
A book with three scripts.
You were a little Bill Grunfus, right?
Or is that a joke?
I remember that were you a little Bill Grunfus?
No, it was Wild Bill Grunfus.
Wild Bill Grunfus.
No, I was high but when you were naked.
You were little.
You were a little Mark Cohen.
That's it. Although the girls named talking about when you were naked. You were little. You were little Mark Howas little Markas.
That's what all the girls named you.
All the waitresses.
So now, but you are, I'm gonna wrap this up,
but you guys came in, you came in after that.
Now, you're in the cellar right before me, right?
Yeah, yeah.
A few years ago.
And now, it starts kicking in,
but I remember when I came to the cellar, it was dead.
I mean, we'd be there on a Monday, a Tuesday, a Wednesday.
Nobody was there. We'd have to perform in front of on a Monday, a Tuesday, a Wednesday. Nobody was there.
We'd have to perform in front of maybe 15 people, 10 people, keep going, and then people
would slowly filter in and out. And there were times that man he would make the weight.
I mean, there was no not one person in the audience. And he would make the weight.
You should sit there. So there was somebody in the comedians have to go up. Right.
Just so somebody would see a show going on and now and then business dipped
You know in the 90s, I guess there was a
Every play late 90s every place
All right mid 90s. Yeah, mid 90s to the
Dipped and then in 2000s it picked up and now here we are again. It's saturated again
It's never been like this. It's never been like this, but it's yeah, is do you think it's gonna die?
Do you think it's gonna go back down? All right, guys it's the New York why do you say in New York
it's a different world comedy wise well I mean it's it's it's saturated maybe in
New York but I think comedy now comedy now in New York especially but around I
mean comics became the new rock stars people started seeing comedians like
they saw bands like aros miss sound of the garden all around I mean these comics big comics
Burseled out the garden and he doesn't have a show right just on the
strength of his stand up and and and what do you do what do you mean he doesn't have a show he doesn't have a
TV he does have a TV he is probably from YouTube videos and whatever's
going and he has a special he has has a show on stop stop stop stop
he has shut he has a TV show Netflix what TV shows it's animation animated TV show about
his family it's a very honest second season so he he does have a show yes he did
prior to that but I don't want to see he doesn't have a show they do have a show because I'm
gonna hit that Bell has a show tell now I'm shut his face. His shell. That's how great he is, not now. He is great, no, he is, he's unbelievable.
On the merit of his standup is what you're saying.
But even beyond the comedy, people used to come and see plays
or go to the theater or stuff.
Now you come to New York City, you're going to a comedy club.
And it's the seller.
I mean, you're coming to the seller to see a shell.
And on top of that, as I recently learned, that not only is the seller, like, the comedy
show you got, but in all of New York's attractions across all the attractions, the comedy
seller is like the number two thing. What's number one?
Trip advisor. It's Mark. You got a punchline.
The comic strip wow
I mean I I don't know if I could
I could have I could have I couldn't have set you up any and I didn't have an attitude
I should have let you I should have gave you a data right it out
Are people developing in New York still though? Yes people like you that are six well
Here's the thing in New York still though yes people like you that are six well here's a thing in the in New York now is
that you can um...
i'm famous from i have i have fame believe it or not from the comedy seller
i have when i go on the road
basically now they're like we saw you the first time at the comedy seller
like they would see me like on on louis or they saw me in sex drugs
or opian antony fans are even this podcast people come up to me like do it on a friend of the podcast a lot of
people come up go oh we went on vacation and we saw you at the seller and
why are you doing the same act you're on the road you've had six years please
please don't repeat please don't repeat the thoughts in your head. I know. I've had jokes I've been doing for 40 years.
No, I read.
I read.
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
I'm the.
Hello.
What year did you start at the seller?
I started.
It had to be, wow.
The boat ride is 2,099,
so it had to be a year before that, or two years ago.
So, 98, 97, 97, 98, I started,
I was in at the Boston Comedy Club first.
Then I remember my agent, a manager at the time,
was like, all right, we're gonna do a spot at this club.
I was like, cool, and I walked over.
I didn't know about SD, didn't know about the history. I was just over all right, we're gonna do a spot at this club. I was like, cool, and I walked over. I didn't know about, that's the, didn't know about the history.
I was just over at the Boston,
going up after Chappelle, J. Moore, Brewer, Patrice.
That Boston was great, go ahead.
You know what I mean?
It was, Boston Comedy Club at that time
had all the young holy shits coming up, okay?
And you guys were over at the cellar.
And then,
you know, you make it sound like, you know, you make it sound like, Okay, and you guys were over at the cellar and then
So I remember I went over there and he's like, all right, you got to do five minutes and I met asked the I was like Hey, how you doing nice to meet you?
blah blah blah okay?
You go up and but I went up and just fucking murdered for five minutes and I walked off
I was like all right cool. She's like, okay, give me call. And I got in and then I've been in ever since,
but I was 145 spot for years.
That's why I love guys bitching.
These fucking young guys come in now and they're like,
they think they, you know, they deserve it.
Well, they know it's, they think it's a bad thing.
Well, you don't.
And it's not a bad thing.
It's not a bad thing.
The 145 spot to close the show to end the show
Is they want somebody who's can do it number one wasn't empty that two o'clock?
It wasn't like sometimes sometimes it was but you know what complaining now. It's not empty what no
Now it's a full room, but it's it's it is crazy that you know these some you who I want earlier spots
It's like Ernam. Yeah, I had a fucking earn
I remember when I finally said I was a guest
The you know I'd like and she was like okay, and she gave me an earlier spot and it was hosting
I was like nine to fucking two now so I took that whatever I quit hosting
Because I think it it those spots push you to become better. And I think they also, they, you know,
when you wanna be here on the schedule,
you gotta keep fucking working hard.
And it got me out of those spots.
I mean, look, I still close all the fucking shows.
It's not gonna carry it away.
Am I right? I'm still bitching half the time.
Oh, it's just annoying.
I gotta go up at the end of every fight.
Because I, oh, I hate this too.
Cause you're so good.
It's a compliment, go fuck yourself.
They want me to clean up whatever mess there's gonna be.
If the guy's too famous and nobody can follow
or if the guy stinks and I gotta go up and clean up,
that's what happens.
The show was pumping though.
The middle show, you'd have a spot and they'd go,
okay, go on, do three minutes.
Because I'd have to, we gotta get the show over.
Oh, yeah, I got it. Oh, I got that. I got to repeat jokes.
When I used to host, I used to host, I used to do, I didn't know what jokes I did. It'd be like,
it'd be like quarter to two and I'd do that. I remember one time I did the same joke and I went,
why are you guys not laughing at that? Because I knew it killed and like you just did it.
You did it to my set. You did the same jokes.
Oh my God, crazy.
An ounce a day is too much.
At the end of the night, sometimes Mark Cohen,
and Rick and John Stewart, there were nights
where the people wouldn't leave.
And so we would try to drive them out.
But just by being as bad and as stupid as possible.
But it just got funnier.
That's hilarious.
And the people wouldn't leave
because they were, they were,
wanted to see what these idiots do.
They used to, when I had a set,
they used to know them and they
they would send up a tray of six, seven vodka shots.
Really?
Yeah.
Why?
I would drink them during my set.
They would all get a kick.
And then, towards the end, I would get two drugs so they would all get a kick and then towards the end I would get two drugs
So they they would make like three vodka and three water and then I would drink them the energy
Now you knew now you know all these guys coming up, but you you went in a totally different way comedy wasn't your thing don't no
I thought you were talking to me. I'm like wow
Mark I was
Wow, that's fucking brutal. Mark, I was.
No, listen.
That's what he said.
Listen, let me finish.
So now comedy seems to be your thing.
Well, you've seen him play music.
Well, his father.
But his father, comedy wasn't your father's thing the whole time it became his thing and he really took care of it
Nurtured it and the he started the table. I mean we can say that people claim that they started he started the table correct
It wasn't it wasn't calling or was it who nick the Paula what did he say?
Man, we need a place really there's There's no place where to sit down.
Right.
We need someplace we can sit.
And he did it.
Yeah, that's great.
I have a little bit of a jag on that particular story, but you go ahead.
Oh what?
Go ahead.
A little bit of a...
Mani and I used...
Mani would say the comedians just spread out all over the olive tree.
So they're taking up all the tables.
And I said to him, well perhaps we should, you know, kind of... the comedians are spread out all over the olive tree so they're taking up all the tables and i
said to him well perhaps we should you know kind of comic collect i don't know
well i didn't use the words you know the media's table but you said a table
yes but comedians would sit at it didn't listen to me until
nick said right and then it be like valedine and you have to get invited over
i think the chicken kabab was too
Garlicky for a year that's how I said you got yeah, well and then one day Jerry Seinfeld came in and said
It's a little garlicky man. That was it
Yeah, I want to who else is like that my wife
I
Want to who else has that trace? Oh, wait
Huh, no, no, no, no, nobody's talking about you.
You don't have people behind you that work with you all the time just looking at the back
of your head right now pointing at you like this as soon as I said that.
Nobody did that.
But also, you know, I don't remember. I mean, that, that I, I know it was
interesting, but I just trying to understand the dynamic of my father, somehow, because
he bill was really the man at the time. Yes. Yes.
And because it wasn't my father on the line, it was easier for him to say no to the
table. Yes. Then when he was fully involved in it. Right. And then he's like, no, we need a comedy. You're right. You have to be in those shoes to really
see it. Oh, because he didn't understand that he did, but they needed that. I just, I
can't picture him having said no, except that you were asking for. He's like, no, we can't
devote a table to the comedians, you know. But I left the Egyptian. It's, it's, I think
it's, it's that kind of thing like where I can I can tell
Is a different you treat him going hey, manny. Maybe we should have a table and they're going what the fuck I got this fat
Jubrod from fjorkers yap in my ear. I've given me a table, manny also
How many was in our main income at that time The field on or maybe a lot busy. I don't know what you're
The now is it true very busy very busy
was a little bit of a business at the time
Which don't you miss doing what you used to do with the law? I mean like we had you still does it Friday nights really
I saw that video yeah, right the all of tree. No, but I mean like with the band yes a band is a man I do miss it I had to choose what to do I couldn't do it all and
you'll understand it you can explain to Robert what am I I'm right here I
can understand oh sorry we on the we on the building where the comedy
seller is right we own the real estate and in the law I had like three more
years on my lease.
Right.
And so I had to throw in what I could count on, which was the comedy seller.
So I sold the war.
And what a good choice it was.
I mean, come on.
Well, I don't know.
I mean, it is because you went over to the village underground and music was there, and now
it's comedy.
And now there's a comedy club upstairs.
And pretty soon, you're going to make the bar into a comedy club. You mean, good choice, like, because it's comedy and now there's a comedy club upstairs and pretty soon you're gonna make the bar into a comedy club.
You mean good choice because it's business wise?
Well I mean business wise.
It's the same pleasure I did.
The comedy started.
Well because you're not because you're a performer.
You're not up there.
And yeah that's exactly like in the law it was my show.
You were a star.
I was not just, it's not just, I was a star.
You ran.
I arranged the music.
It was so, if it was successful when it was a
Land around the corner was I did that right in the comedy seller
You guys write the jokes. Yes, so it's not I mean, I'm happy
Right and I I do understand that that I would you're a big part of that there's something about facilitating in which matters big big party
And I and I could point to some I can't talk about them
I guess but I can point to some key decisions that were made
Which made a huge difference? Yeah, nevertheless. Yes, I can't take pride. Yes, you kill. Yeah, it's still you
Yes, you giving us they're the ones walking out going that was the best that I ever had
But they don't understand that that to facilitate that thing had something to do with it too
I just turn on the lights like like what do I do? Well Liz does it. You
don't do that. Liz does it. And George, you know, George actually makes lights
available. So yeah, you don't do shit. You're right. And it's certain way you're
right. Well, you make good you make good choices on people to do things for
you. Yeah
Well, so you play at the Clean the all-tree on Friday and I keep playing but it's like it's amazing. Yeah, it's not like the warm thing
Whatever I do get pleasure very loud, but it's good. I do get play
Yes, but not the pleasure that I wish I got right what you could
But you could someday if you wanted to go back to playing but I mean it's yeah Well well I'm also lost so much in my hearing. I don't think it's a good idea
What is that your phone? This is my line because I Jeff what chunk is calling?
Well, we're gonna wrap this up right now because now he's getting on the phone with a lawyer
Where he we're all here in Vegas? Can you not?
Can you Christmas bells on his phone? Oh my god. I love that he plays dumb with electronics I tried to turn the phone off, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, That's what this was a for what this a phone that what are you? What why did you turn to the Italian? I thought that this is a for that terets thing is gonna
We're gonna be opening in Las Vegas
What oh my god what a fee a cafe what?
You're playing in Las Vegas you're bringing the band
Where are you're open the comedy Sell it. Where are you going to open it? What?
Nice.
What? Nice setup.
Where are you going to open it?
At the real. Right now.
That's a base.
Small room but it will put the
Not in my room.
Just a worse room ever.
It really is.
It's just a terrible week, by the way.
You know, the molding is coming off the tub.
Right.
Before we even get the club open,
because you would not insult the real.
I'm kidding.
Who the hell would put a club in this channel?
I'm kidding.
The fucking comedian.
I'm kidding.
This is actually, this is very beautiful. It isn't it. It's sweet. This is why the every this cut this is why the casino is great
I'll tell you why every room is a sweet. Yeah, this one. No all them all know. No, oh just the It keeps the water in the tub. Listen, no, no, listen.
Listen.
It's, uh, no, no, no.
It is.
Every room is a suite, which is awesome.
To have a big room like this and a great pool.
Yeah, beautiful pool.
It's a great casino.
And I heard they have a great comedy club opening up.
I tell you what, not, uh, some point.
Not a great one.
Not the best. Oh, and if it wasn't for you and if it wasn't for you and if it
wasn't for George and if it wasn't for Liz and if it wasn't for me and of course
the light switch if it wasn't if it wasn't for Manny, having a son to keep turning the lights on.
All right, Lizzie, man, next time I come to Vegas, I want to do another one.
You're in LA, right?
Next time I want to do one on the, when you took over I'd like to do another thing on. He wasn't even halfway finished. I know.
I can't. He's a writer. They talk.
It was mad about you. It was 25 years ago. Was that 25 years ago?
25 years ago. Let me see 91 to 91 to 99.
I'm sorry to call it a one to 99
All right, you see when he looks up China now. He's a he's a comedy consultant in China. I what is that? I adapt
Adapt do you speak Chinese? No, that's amazing. I know how I did I adapt shows for the Chinese audience really
I met about you was a big hit in China. Wow. It's not just translating you have to anthropologically
Look it up anthropologically
Adapt to these stories so you're on camera without the phone to oh god
You got a talk I ended on a on the whole light switch thing. We're ended now. He's back in with five silver words again
Oh my god
The one you father didn't want a table with just him sitting at it. I mean, you sit there all night fucking you know, man, let me say something man.
He got had Jerry planning on a media table. Oh god. Let you know what I'm not doing this.
Give it up for everybody Bill Greff has Mark Cohen.
No, no, no.
He thought I was talking about it. We got George. we got Liz. This is another live white KWD.
You got two of them this week.
This one is definitely my favorite.
Thanks for listening.
And we'll see you guys next time on You Know What,
Darn it.
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