Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Patrice and Friends

Episode Date: February 21, 2013

Robert remembers Patrice O'Neal along with Jim Norton and Keith Robinson.  RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Ma mal, a Madrid.

in all your devices. Plus, don't emails, I'm coming back. I, yeah, I'm coming back. The 21st of February, the 22nd and the 23rd. Three nights, five shows, Philadelphia, Helium Comedy Club. So if you live in Philly, tell your fucking friends, grab your family, get your tickets now, don't do walk-ups, take your fucking credit card out, call the club, and book the seats. Get people together. Show up.

Let's do this. Philadelphia Helium Comedy Club Feb 21st to the 23rd, spread the fucking word, and let's pack this place out. And then, I'm very excited. I'm going to be in Connecticut. At the Trumble, Connecticut at the treehouse on March 1st and March 2nd I will be at Cromwell Connecticut for the Treehouse comedy venture. I don't know what the fuck they call it.

But I'll be in Connecticut again and then I'm going to be in South by Southwest. Holy shit show. I'm going to be there March 21st doing a great show with the Syndicate and laugh button. We got Big J on the show. I'm hosting it the nasty show. So if you're going to South by Southwest, if you're going to be in Austin, Texas, the first March 12th, make sure you find the show. March 15th, I'm at the Will Batee and a kid.

Will Batee, get your tickets now, bean town. Get them now, don't wait. Buy your tickets now. I put out a code out there, get your front row tickets, get your seats, let's pack this place out, my hometown. I wasn't gonna come back until October. I'm usually there around October or Christmas. I didn't wanna come back so soon.

I got some new shit I got a few new things that I wanted to Then I'll come back to you guys with now that I'm having the baby so I was gonna be October but they offered me 15th of March I took it. I want you guys to show the fuck up. Let's have a good time and let's let's pack this place Go to my website robbercowderlive.com, go hit tour and get all my dates. Okay, you want to come see me?

Don't ask me on Twitter, what are you going to be? Just go to my fucking website and find out. Find out where I'm going to be. Go to my website, find out where I'm going to be, get my app for iPhone. And it will show you where I'm going to be. Go to ryecast.com, my dates are up there, my dates are everywhere. So make sure you come and check me the fuck out.

Live. Hey, all right, so here is an extra podcast for you guys on Thursdays. I try to do these when I can. I put together a show on Saturday, had a bunch of people that were supposed to show up and of course being in this ship business and having fucking do-do friends. Not everybody showed up. I'm kidding, of course. Some people couldn't make it, some people had stuff to do, some people lied and some people are fucking

lazy. But it wound up being on our right show. I had a real good time. I put it out the Thursday after Patrice's benefit. So we talked about Patrice a little bit. We had some stories and it was fun. It was a good time. I hope you guys like it. A little extra Thursday podcast. Patrice and friends enjoy hey gang this is Colin Quinn this is Jim Norton this is Dennis Larry this is Opie from a lot of things this is Bert Kreiser staying cooking you are listening to Robert Kelly's you know what dude you know what that is! If you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if you buy it, if You see them on everything. See my box, HBO. We just got an awesome special like comedy, sexual elephant in the room. Please get it up for Mr. Patrice O'Neal.

Hey you. Hey you. She's a winner, ain't she, part? Yep. There you go, right up front. Big fans right up front there. Give it up for more, because it's up here here trying to make you laugh. Don't know you What the fuck have you woman

You guys brothers, right you guys look just alike brothers related Like just front like boy, why'd you get all strange? Closed. Closed, like just front, like, Boy. Why'd you get all strange, nigga? What? What? I really, it's not a setup to fuck what you made.

I just, I'm just asking what the deal is, man, cause you're all the people. Like it ain't like just fucking start dancing all fucking and I gotta just get into my shit. I like to know who I'm here fucking, trying to fucking make laugh, it's shit. What's going on here? Deliciously young here, what's going on?

Yeah, all right, here we are, a special edition of YKWD. I got Jim Norton in the house, that was the great Patrice O'Neill. You weren't a house self-centered, I am. As I'm listening to that. All I'm thinking of is not of my dead friend and not of his legacy, but like, wow,

the audio quality is good. I'd like to tape a CD and DC. That's all I'm thinking of. Is how good the audio quality of that. How electric the last sound, and I'm like, well, I'd love to tape in that room. That's a good move. I'm just gonna fast-weep move on.

That was funny. You say that the first time I heard it, the DC love to tape in that? That's a good move. I mean, how fast we move on. That was funny. You said that the first time I heard it, the DC improv doesn't use me. For some reason, I just, I was just like, why won't they fucking use me? That was always go through my head as well. Yeah, we always make it about ourselves. Yeah, it's stand-ups, though.

But Patrice O'Neill's, Mr. P, album was the last album that came out. I still haven't listened to the whole thing. You couldn't listen to it or you haven't. I could not. I listened to some of it. I'll listen to clips. I can listen to Patrice and very brief clips.

But then it gets just too depressing. For a couple of two reasons. One because he's dead and he's my friend. And two because he is such a great comic that I don't like to listen to other comedians that are that great. Because it makes me feel bad about myself. Like, he was just so great that I'm like, oh, yeah, I didn't like watching Patrice either. I hated it. I last show I did with him was in Atlantic City.

It was me and him. We're doing this huge show together. And I remember he was supposed to be me and him. I go up first, he goes up second up second where co-headlining this event and He brought two fucking people with him and I'm like he's like alright Harris is gonna go up. I'm like what the fuck do you mean? The fuck you making decisions for and then he's like Bobby What the fuck you who gives a shit and then I went up? I did my shit Harris went up. He just made and then he went up, I did my shit, Harris went up, he just made a, and then he went up after me and fucking did what he did.

Just, I was like, I get it, he's the fucking, he's the guy. I'm not the fucking guy, I did my shit, but I watched his show and it was an hour of, I was just watching it and it was fucking amazing. But that's why he's fucking making this. This isn't a co-headline event. This is Patricia's show. I'm opening for him and he brought his fucking MC. Because he was that good. I hated watching him. I like watching Louis. I don't watch fucking Louis ever.

Because he just gets into the shit and like, oh, fuck me, I suck. And I don't want to adopt anything. Right, right, right. Very easy to adopt something from though, especially guys like him who are so I'm not a silhouetted. I know you know you should see my new bit about my two daughters. I think it's really I'm just starting to rub off of me. I haven't been about pimping my bitch wife. Oh and

he uh yeah he was really fucking good man he was but But the reason why I played that clip is because, comedy now, I think, has gone into this set up punch tag. It's jokes. It's written jokes, and there's no freedom to it. There's no more, you go up and you open with a joke and you go through all these jokes and you close with a joke and it's formatted and it's exactly what it is.

Patrice was one of those comics that I don't think which I love is that he goes up and I want to know who the fuck you are first and he actually put that in an album. Most guys wouldn't put that in now. That'd be the fluff that you take out and you go right to a joke. He actually put in the beginning where he used to go up and who the fuck are you people first. I want to know if I like you and then let's go and And that's one thing I like he I remember you'd walk fucking people right at the beginning of a show Just fuck you you're an asshole. You know did that dice did that remember when he did that Oh Vegas just threw a guy in immediately

For just talking and trying to have fun. Look a minute, 18 into the fucking ass. Get the fuck out of here! Just throw him out. Uh, yeah, he's another one, like, not to compare Patrice to Dice, but he's another one who, I mean, I know he had a bit, but he does, like, I don't know, there's something about these fucking guys. You can watch him.

If you go back and watch, like, old, remember, Rascals? Yeah. The actual TV show they had? Sure. Sure. I went back and watched like old, remember Rascals? Yeah. The actual TV show they had? Sure. I went back and watched like dice, Rogan, did Rogan do Rascals? Well, Rogan did, well the shirt.

I tweeted it yesterday. He had a shirt on. Perp, it was the fucking most ridiculous shirt I've ever seen in my life. But at the time, it was probably the, oh my God, I, where do you get those? Pier one in ports. But yeah, it was, but you can really see who's funny and who stands to test the time

Rogan and dice a still funny today when you watch it then you watch Rosie O'Donald How the fuck I don't know who Rosie O'Donald is Rosie who what's a name? O'Donald who the fucking I'm just saying you should know man. What who gives a Rosie O'Donald who gives a shit just letting you know. Yeah, but who cares nobody cares about you fucking You grammar my it's not grammar somebody's name. I'm not being nitpicky. You like Richard Pliers You're being nitpicky. I'm not Sam Kennis and Hate you fucking nitpicky ways It's nitpicky if you write like there and I say don't you mean they are

But when you know that's not see yeah, I'd affair enough you with a K. That's country Both were two comics talking about another comic. You say Rosie O'Donald and I don't tease you for that's true What did you say with a K? Yeah, cut? Yeah, I don't think she's funny. She what I mean she I thought she was funny back then And then I didn't I didn't know she wasn't funny. I watched her clip, and I'm like, oh my God, this is horseshit, this is garbage. It's fucking garbage. Then you watch dice, and he goes up there and does this whole thing, and then goes into this

fucking siloque of just this rant of fucking stupidness that's hilarious even today. I don't know, Rosie, Stan. Honestly, you wanna know better, Stan, the only thing I liked about her, I remember from her standup, is when Michael Jackson, she was talking about him and she goes, you know, Michael Jackson's not hard at me, but I don't say how to pedify. It was some brutal joke she did that I was really surprised that she did, because she was supposed to be so nice and everybody loved her. And that's what I remember

at her standup, but she did some fucking brutal, not even that funny slam of Michael Jackson, which people got very offended at. Yeah, she's, it wasn't, but guys like Patrice kind of back to that. The reason why I'm doing the show today was, you know, just to back up a little bit. It was supposed to be me. Yeah, it's supposed to be you. It's supposed to be me, you. That's right. Anthony. Yes.

Anthony Cumeer and Column Quinn. Column Quinn and Keith Robinson. Yeah. We're supposed to be here. And it's just me and you. Of course, it's Keith's black, Column, and Anthony are old. Yeah, Colin fucking had to do something,

family-related. Anthony just texted me 10 seconds before he was supposed to be here telling me that he's not going to make it. And then Keith is coming from the airport. That was you, okay. Yeah, he's on his way, which exactly. But yeah, so you're the only one that showed up. Yeah.

Yeah, you're the only fucking. And this was a show about Patrice with doing the benefit, we actually, this show will come out after we did the benefit, Tuesday, and this show was gonna come out after, and I just wanted to get all you guys together, and talk about Patrice, because I was going through all the Brazil photos. Right.

And all the photos I had, we were trying to get these Billy Burr, who, you know, put this whole fucking event together. Yeah, he did a great job. He did a great job, man. And it was a very hard event to put together because Jonathan, who was, he was Patrice's manager, was trying for a long time.

And let's just say that, you know, he was making all efforts. He made a tremendous amount of efforts reaching out to talent individually, reaching out to comics. I am reaching out to managers and festivals. And it was just very frustrating because they wanted to do it, but they wanted certain people.

And John was just out of his mind frustrated trying to get things. And I think Bill just had fuck it and took his own money and did it, which none of us knew he was doing it. Bill said to me once I know it being I think it was, he goes, what the fuck, you know, Bill is, Bill is a computational even, he's it goes, it goes, what the fuck you know, Bill is, Bill, like, Bill is a gravitational even he's not trying to be like, like, what the fuck we doing? He like, all right. But he's like, you, he, Bill, you always still menaced by Bill Burk.

How you doing, Bill? Fine, Bill, what the fuck we doing about the tree? I'm not, all right. But he was right, he goes, you know, do or his friends, let's just do it. And he was right, the next thing you know, I got a call from Bill. He was absolutely right. And he got a call and I think Moring Taren helped him

but whatever they just kind of went balls out and booked the city center and it sold out very very quickly so I'm happy that we're finally doing it here's the problem is that that everybody's worried about who's in it and the politics of it and where can we do it? How much money can we raise and the actual, you know, to be a part of it and highlight it and you know I did this and it just fucking it's stupid. Here's what comedians worry about Sorry, I'm up to here's the word people don't want to compete with their own draw like But I'm not saying it's right, but I mean that's one of this comedians worry about competing against their own draw. I think it's ridiculous. I do not saying it's right, but I mean, that's one of those comedians worry about competing against their own draw. I think it's ridiculous.

I do too. It's ridiculous. You're doing a 15 minute set on a show with 10 other comics, friends of some, no, you're not blowing your wad. Well, and if anything, you're actually reminding people that you're a part of this group of comics, so you're actually probably gaining fans.

Because guys who probably maybe didn't like you, or didn't know of you, or maybe didn't care for you, will see you with these guys, and you're killing it and having fun, and they'll be like, oh shit, next time he's in town, I'm going to see that guy. There are some guys that might have done stuff behind the scenes that was good for the family too.

Like, you know, some guys who weren't able to make a benefit because of their schedule, but Lake Legitimally did really nice shit for the family. So, I mean, you know, okay, there's people that did stuff privately that was really, really nice. But I don't, I don't know. I don't know.

You did nothing. And you know, you know who you are. Yeah, fine, don't, don't do it. Yeah. We sold it out. Here's the thing, you did nothing, You know who you are. Yeah, fine. Don't don't do it. Yeah We sold it out. Here's the thing you did nothing, but you also you some people actually fucked with the progress of it Maybe yeah, yeah, so Billy Billy. I remember he called me up. He's like fuck this I'm not he made me you know be quiet. Don't tell anybody because if you tell somebody, then people are gonna get involved, then it's gonna get fucked up again. He went and did it and took care of it

and put his little team together of people and called individually. You want it and everybody on the show? Yup, no questions asked. Yup, nope, nope, whenever it is, I'll do whatever I have to do. And now it's, I mean, as it should be done, I mean, if anybody should have a benefit, it should be him. Well, first family, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, but Patrice, this is not even just to raise, it's to raise money for his family, which is awesome, but we have to do a show to celebrate our friend. I mean, a year over a year ago, we got to call it in the morning That our friend had a stroke and I remember immediately calling you. Yeah, I immediately called Colin and I called Voss and we called Keith and within 20 minutes No matter who was around everybody

Was at that hospital right within 20 minutes it called took a fucking bus yeah as you should to most places hopefully that I'm hoping that's how calm this gags from now on the fucking bus I like people right now news to new our show called the bus yeah I'm holding you know back at the bus thank you thank Kelly for stucco We already started rolling them, baby. Stuka's in, not you. I'm going to get some fruit coming, so hungry. So it's your year of starving? Yeah.

So it's been over a year. What was the date? I don't even know the date. I don't know. But anyways, so yeah, in November, and now we're actually finally getting to celebrate. And that's what it's about. It's about, you know, it's not a negative thing. It's not a sad thing. It's, let's get together and remember Patrice and all the stories and a fun way and see his mom and, you know, Vaughn and all of us be together for

Patrice, which sometimes with a friend, you have to think like, all right, how would my friend want me to handle this? Like, or how would my friend want his people treated? You know, his mom or his girlfriend or his wife. And that's why you do stuff like this too. It's also because, you know, you're honoring your friend by treating his family well because you'd want your family treated well.

You know, a lot of guys just didn't wanna do that. I don't think they thought it through so literally. I don't think they thought it through and thought fuck his family or fuck him. But people are just selfish, and they're worried about their own shit, and they're worried about their own draw, and they're worried about, so fuck on.

That's why I don't buy anybody sincerely. You know, it sounds silly, but you wind up with very few real close friends. You know, the rest it just cuts. And I mean, I know that that sounds like a really shitty thing to say, but that is the reality in our business and every business. You know, our job, every job.

And it's not just close friends. It was like, none of the networks did tribute to them. And I almost understand why, because they all hated them on a personal level, because he was the guy that would be mean to them when none of us had the balls to be. He really did. He treated executives of networks the way we wanted to treat them.

He treated them like shit. Like what do you mean, you have any stories? Just uncomfortable. They'd walk around. What do you watch? How loud he was just awful to them. He didn't make them feel welcome. He wasn't welcoming. He was mean

He was accurate and You know he was dismissive. I remember how unpleasant he was when we were doing the Colin Quinshow. Oh My god, he was just fucking he was just a twat everybody, but it was very funny and hindsight. It was stressful in the time But I see why executives didn't flock to him. Did you I I mean, have you ever done stuff with him where you like, he made me feel like a spineless pussy sometimes because I don't want, I'm not a fucking controversy fan. I don't like, I don't like when people don't like me. You know, when he didn't give a fuck so much, sometimes I was like, maybe it's too much.

Right. And you'd be in a gig with him or on a show and he would be fucked them and you'd have to back him up. But you, I don't know, I felt like, oh shit, these people gonna hate me. Now he's burning a bridge with me with this club or this venue because he's such an ass.

Partially, but part of me also felt like, sometimes he was too far in that direction, like where you feel like, oh man, I should be standing tall. Like he is, but a lot of times that wasn't standing tall. You know, he was like all of us. He was insecure. He had his doubts.

Yeah. You know, it's funny, we were talking one time, you know, I guess for the year of when he died. And he was like, man, I just feel, I feel irrelevant. He felt irrelevant. And it was really weird to hear him say that, but he was pulling himself off the grid

because he felt people had too much access to him. But he was feeling, like he came on the air on time and he was saying that when he was doing his project, and he said he realized how fucked up he had been on so many projects. Because a couple of people that were doing his thing were a little difficult and he goes, man, I was an asshole. Like he had this revelation that he had been so difficult

on so many things and he regretted that. Like he wished he hadn't been because once he had his thing, he saw how it was when people were being difficult for no reason, not reasonably difficult, but just reasonably being an asshole. So he was, in a way like, you know, people would hate to hear him, come here and let him compare but at that same age

There's a very good interview with Lenin from Rolling Stone Where at the end of his life he had these really weird revelations about how it wasn't just the world that was fucked up It was him and he was a part of it and he was growing older and she and Betrice had that same thing that same You know fuck you be kind of became like yeah, I'm a part of the problem too. And yeah, I didn't handle this well. And yeah, I should have done this, but which I loved that he saw that because, you know, it was, that to me was normal that we go through that.

Yeah, I think you know, he said to me once that, he was sick and tired of going into these meetings or these rooms or these shows and feeling uncomfortable. He would rather make them feel uncomfortable first and watch them squirm than him squirm. You know what I mean? So it's like, okay, I get that. Because I think there's a bunch of different ways to handle insecurity or being scared in this business because you walk into a festival or a room or a meeting and it's, they're fucking kryptonite. To me, you know, you go and you meet a bunch of agents.

It's like, I don't know how to be in front of you because somehow you work for me. I'm the boss, but I feel like you're the boss until I make money, enough money for you to treat me the way you should be treating me like as an equal or as your boss, but he would walk in a room and fucking and just make you immediately feel uncomfortable.

Yeah. So that he could watch you squirm. Yeah. Or this people that actually just kiss ass and, hey, oh my god, and you and agree with people and go with that flow and climb that way. But he was definitely not one of those guys. And it did, I think, hurt him and hurt his progress. Sure. Sure it did. I mean, he was, and heard his progress. Sure, sure it did.

I mean, he was such a great comment, but a lot of great comments are awkward or uncomfortable people. I mean, let's be honest, you think prior was a treat on the set, and he was horrible. You know what's funny is I remember when, what's his name?

Louis came into the show once when you guys were back at the K-Rock studios. And Patrice was on and I was there and and Louis started talking and Patrice started saying something and he just cut Louis and he's like, are you gonna fucking just yap over me the whole fucking show? Louis said the Patrice and I saw Patrice just shut up and back off and kind of slowed I was like, holy shit, I would expect fuck you, motherfucker. You know, it snapped, but he was like, all right, he backed the fuck off.

If you had a reasonable, Patrice loved to, as we all know, love to debate. Like he enjoyed the argument. And he would, but he was, he was a great at explaining himself. He was great at making his point. He didn't agree with them. So I think if somebody reasonably said to him, like, shut up, what are you doing?

He was smart enough to know that at times he was, you know, all right, yeah, I should shut up, you know. Yeah, he was, he was, he was one of the greatest that having an argument. And the, this is why I like Patrice too, is that he would admit when he's wrong. He would, actually, you could change his mind if you made a point.

Some guys you are, especially comics, you could change his mind if you made a point. Some guys you are, especially comics you argue with, they will not, they're not listening. One is walking up the steps right now, by the way. The person we're talking about is walking up the steps right now. It's Keith. He's an unreasonable ass. You hear me? Keith is so afraid of not being known that he has to, he to make he keeps comes in like a fucking like a hurricane of just noise Yeah, I'm gonna get a banana to him stop. Yeah, that's what he's forget it Well, he he pretries was one of those guys who actually would actually if you made a point Yeah, and then he usually hang up on you after here is key throw but you know we just talk about being unreasonable to have perfect the walk in

yeah and i'm talking about unreasonable comics that don't listen so wherever you want to sit right at the end on the college wherever all right go around him kelly let her let her go around you key throw it you know kelly out you tell her beaded ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You want Kelly out? Yeah. You tell her. Beat it. So nice. She wrote a text message. I'm so glad he made it here.

She wrote a text message. I said, well, I'll be here a little later. Just okay, mate. She's in Australia. I don't give a shit. What do you want to say? This is the McDougall Street in a village. See, when you get there, it'll be just fine.

He really does just prove a point, doesn't he? What? Unplussing from... If you do an hour specials people unpleasant from the get go Actually from the ghetto Oh, so you come from the ghetto was pretty good. Thank you Wow more get-outs now. We're just talking about you know Patrice We're supposed to first of all those supposed to be Anthony Kuhmia Colin Quinn was supposed to be rich Vos too. I forgot rich Vos canceled this morning. Danny. Yeah, V Quinn was supposed to be rich Voss too. I forgot to rich Voss canceled this morning.

Did he? Yeah, Voss was supposed to be here. Colin was supposed to be here and Anthony Cumia and they all fucking... Well, Colin yesterday at least did it last night, I call them. Voss canceled this morning and Cumia canceled. We supposed to be here too at one minute before two o'clock. So, Voss had to have his T-free set. So. White boss, can't hold it. I don't have no idea. He has a family thing.

First of all, they don't have to lie. They can just say no. I'm not a network TV show. It's a fucking podcast. Just say no. You have to come up with a stupid, my family bullshit. But he can't because he had a family, something family. But who's his family?

Yeah, sorry, can't come in family shit. That's what he said. Family shit. Yeah, family shit. Oh my god. Where's your garbage can, Bob? I'm talking about banana. Right on the, Kelly.

Just give it to my alien. Yeah, there we go. Thank you, Mr. Yeah, so these are my actually my only two friends right here. I'm here. I'm fresh off of airplane from Buffalo. Yeah, you came right here. Yeah.

Shitty Buffalo. What gig? I was just over in this. What is it? I was in Canada, but I had to go to Buffalo and this and that. It was, you know, you're making us read your shirt. Yeah, because I can't read, actually actually when you gambling or you doing gig I was gambling and don't a gig But you know when you gamble sometimes sometimes when you gamble you

You know it what happens is when you gamble is a lot of things that All right, how much is he paying first of all? 100 is gonna walk hundreds first of, little kev just gave me that. Oh, it's shit. Whatever he pays me, would he pay me that to leave? Yeah, so what he paid to get down on there. Little kev took that water out the same and gave it to him. Go here, Kelly.

He's 600 bucks on the air. It was so humiliating. Six was how much was it? Thousand. Was it? Yeah, he's a piece of shit. A thousand. I actually hit it in the house. It's house because I hope one day like when his career fails

And I'm reading about him on the news and he has no money's bank rep to his 14th wife I'm gonna give it back to him. Here you go kid. Yeah, he wanted you to have a thousand dollars nice Yeah, I would love to have had a thousand dollars and I was like I would I guess I would write the back page That's I woke up today, and it's like you know, I'm trying to write something and I just I'm in a band I just start jerking off. I can't fucking stop man I got I literally just I'm happy I had this because it got me out of the house Cuz I would have just the whole day would have been shot. How do you wake up and just jerk off right away? I'm too groggy Easy yeah too groggy to

You don't have a you don't have a morning bone or no more? No, I usually have next to me a wife, two fucking little shit suits. No, I'm not jerking off. The first thing I want to do is get out of that fucking bed. Go take a shit. No, morning jerks are so easier. You jerk off in the morning? First of all, it's not called jerking off with you. It's easy for me to say that.

You diddle with yourself. You diddle as you, as you push it getting fat and out of you gaining weight. Yep. Hey, don't I, oh god, I'm so talking about it. you get fat and out of you gain and wait. Yep. Yeah, oh god Don't talk about fat. Pussies are ignoring me. I That's what I was lady to attack you like a fucking silky terry to a piece of bacon He loves a fat pussy. I said do That's why I'm your friend

Yes, I do Why is that the time? Oh, it's three out of a cup. That's a great one. Fat pussy is. But yeah, we were talking about Patrice. I played his first clip. And the reason why I love Patrice, he was like, he would walk, you know, even on a CD, he actually put in him just getting up there, fucking with the crowd, talking the crowd, who the fuck's in the crowd? He didn't just, you know, you have, you have the option of just going right into a joke when you put in a CD, but that's not the guy

he was. When he went to a club, he looked in the front, he was a real funny person. It wasn't about the joke. It was a, you know, you get up there and just be funny. Yeah, you have your jokes But even on a CD he had a bunch of stuff that just happened that one time and will never happen again Right it was funny. So I heard that one it was pretty damn funny. You listen to it. Yeah, did you buy it? No He's the only one who put like his dead friend CD. I got off live wire. He's still using the fucking Napster, Kaza. I got off Napster, I hate oil, I'll pay for it. Is Kaza still available?

No. I don't know. I don't know. What is Kaza? Oh, you like Kaza? No, I haven't. But, um, my bootlegs are different now We I'm gonna play this real quick. This is his clip. Uh, this is his clip. It's called

Tolloo Oh, like how much people really know about like do you see my man? What's your name, bro? How much people really know about like do you see my man what's your name bro? I'm trying to be on brother labor I'm like never Put your hand after feet and uh Some goofy African names my name my mother did that same stupid shit. That's what Patrice is. I wanna imitate you some. You'll be watching.

If it was up to one of my goofy ass 80-O aunts, I'd be the mumbo-oneel of this motherfucker. Your mom's went right through it, Tulu, the... Tulu, the man with eight-point friends. And the game of fully having you as a friend, but the fuck are you doing to all the white people? Is this too low? The... Too low, Robert, say the word the fuck is wrong with you. What's the link there? Like it all say Lulu or Poo-Town.

Everyone told me. I hate that man. I wouldn't want to be told to. Oh! I hate that, man. And you got the voice that go with it too. Toilu, deep voice as Toilu. And you sit with a Ralph and a Brian and a Jimmy. And this thing is Toilu, the great warrior. That works at a law firm. Tom Liu and Associates.

Thank you. That's funny. That's funny, dude. What did the funny thing was, what a day, maybe, after a foot and a who. But here's the thing is that he put that on his fuck. I love that he put that on his CD because you never, that's something that that crowd had that night and it's still funny. That comedy today, if you listen to a CD, it's joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke,

joke, for an hour of fucking jokes. It's set up punch tag and there's some type of formula in there and it's funny. I'm not I'm not giving it but that's that's a real comedy show. That's a at a club. That's what to me sounds like what I want to listen to actually and I can still hear the jokes. That's that's what's comedy is to me I can listen to that over and over again. Oh that tola was hysterical. He did the same thing on elephant in the room like after like 10 minutes and he's Nobody else listen do me a fan. No seriously. No, I'm really serious this time. Can you shut him out please? Her enough fat pussy told a shut about

I He said it was fat. Yeah, it was going north and down His eyes just glazed over Really is like a vampire that hasn't fucking had blood in six weeks You prick your fingernail What were you saying Kelly? I want to hear it You did the same show

The bitches come live you turn away not enough. We've been through together. We'll see come on I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. never talk to you again. That's too I like it. Is that the way you like it? Oh Jesus. He, I know what I miss the most is this fucking dumb barbecues man. Yeah, that was great.

I love that because we never hang. We never, we're always on the road like back in the day when we're all kind of doing shows together when we were, you know, one was middle and one was having, we're doing colleges and shit like that and doing, we were, you know, one was middle and one was having we doing colleges and shit like that and doing it. We were out every night together. We're at the Boston every night hanging out or at the seller and that doesn't happen anymore because we're all, you know, trying to fucking pair mortgages and do our shows and those barbecues were, you know, that was our fucking, the only time we actually all got together and hung out as fucking friends, you know, and he He put so much effort into those barbecues. I mean, he bought so much he bought a thousand dollars worth of food and alcohol

It's like a Brazilian steakhouse It was crazy Everybody's trying to be vegetarian and you have to cook all the meat and just look at it and hand it off. Give me that burger dummy Fucking jerk I had to cook all the meat and just look at it and hand it off. Give me that burger, dummy. Fuckin' jerk. He was a vegetarian until that day, and I remember him fucking Bobby, how's that? How's that skirt steak? I'm like, it's the best skirt, let me try piece. I'm like, take your shirt, you face, give me the piece.

Yeah, I messed with that one when we threw you a fucking wicker hat into the barbecue. I was very satisfied. You stuck your voodoo hand right into the fire and pulled it out. I heard my feelings, man. That's that. Yeah, I remember he would call me up and he would be like, do if you want to come by, come by. He was really weird with friends too.

Because he, you know, he would, you know, you would call the people that he wanted at the bar, but if you come by, you come by, he was insecure about it. And then if you did come by, I remember getting a phone call from him after. And he was just, Bobby, what's up, man? Thank you, really, thank you for coming by

my barbecue today. I really appreciate that. Like, no dude, I had a blast, no, right? I just want to let you know that I'm glad you came by and it was a good time and I'm glad you had a good time and thank you. He got offended if you didn't come or if you didn't let him know you couldn't come.

He would bother him. Yeah, because it's like, look, as your friends, we don't get to hang out a lot. And when you do set something up for your friends and you invite them and they blow you off, it is a fuck you. It is a fucking, you know, and I remember, it was the best. I think you're talking about yourself today, aren't you, no, no, no, no, you invite them to a barbecue a podcast.

Podcast barbecue. What's the difference? Look, I wouldn't, I wouldn't come in from my show either, but that barbecue. I remember me and used to go all the time together and that barbecue, I remember me and used to go all the time together. And then you'd show up halfway, like, a little bit like, after it started for a while, and then you'd show up and ruin it. It was actually a nice, civil barbecue until Keith Robinson showed up. The way Patrice and barbecue would work was that like, as like 4'30 to 5'o'clock rolled around, all the black room guys would show up,

and then the white people would get squeezed out. We could squeeze that, we started nudging each other, kicking each other's feet on the table. guys would show up and then the white people would get squeezed out. We get squeezed out. We started nudging each other and kicking each other's feet on the table. I got a spot letter. You want to get out of here? I'm freaking out. You have full of the July. Where you doing a spot?

Err. Err. Yeah. Keith would come in. Patrice would be cooking. He'd have a shirt on with just sauce and meat. That's all he has is a shirt with slippers and no pants. Yeah, he was cooking.

And his mother and his aunt and friends would be up in the hot, they never ever came the fuck out. They were upstairs. Vaughn would come out looking like, just fucking going to a ball. You know what I mean? She was just go, like everybody's just insured she'd walk out.

You're like, who the fuck is is that and then there'd be a few There'd be a few black people there that I didn't know I Didn't know the fuck they were but they were kind of in charge or something And charge or something. What's that mean? I don't know. They were like I think cousins or friends or something Yeah, some people from Boston. Maybe some people you know. Yeah people from Boston. I said people in charge Yeah, oh, okay, you heard the word black Yeah, people from Boston. Oh, you said people in charge. Yeah. Oh, don't get you heard the word black. Yeah, you never say black right. You say it like it's black. Yeah, it's like, how do you say it right? You don't, you don't say black. Oh, okay. Those are people there in charge. I think they were friends at Patrice. Yeah, but they were black.

They said, I said, black. And then we'd hang out. We'd eat and then you'd show up and you'd just have that stupid face on and you'd immediately start trashing everybody. Remember the time you're trashing all the black girls because Arty would show up. No will. Will would show up with just a chain of, just a chain. I shouldn't use chain. A bunch of black. Just a boatload.

No way. I shouldn't use chain a bunch of black It's the boatload no way Come in with a lot of black girls sexy girls you guys maybe you trashed them for looking African black You guys, maybe you trashed them for looking African black. Oh, well. Yeah, the girl, remember though, the girls are showing up, but she was like, ah, that bull shit's not in anymore. The African, she was trying to look African with the Afro. I forget. Yeah, fuck everybody forgets that horse shit, man.

Let's talk about something else. What do I got? I remember the time I went to Stupid Ampset Amps, was probably one of the fucking, those guys actually came to my show at Gotham a couple weeks ago. The guys from Amsterdam, me and him and Patrice went to Amsterdam together. I know. And you didn't go.

I know, that's why I said I know. I remember me and Keith, I got to the hotel and I was, I was fucking just waiting for Stupid to show up. And he finally came and he came and he went a lot of it. He goes, what's up? And he put his , he goes, where can I leave these bags? And he goes, where's the red like district? And he goes, let's go five seconds being on the hotel, being in the fucking country. We were me and him were in the red like this, but it went to the wrong one, went to the local one. There's the tourist one with a hot chicks are, went to the wrong one, went to the local one, there's the tourist one where the hot chicks are, went to the local one with chicks with zits on their ass,

and they put these like aren't shaving, and it's like next to a family restaurant that's some dirty bitches in the fucking alley. Oh wow. And, did they clean that up by the way now? Did it the same or no? I have no idea. I haven't been there.

I haven't been in a while, but I remember it was, we were, I think it was two in the afternoon and we were balls deep Me and you and we swore it off that day so we went in we swore it off. I said I'm done. I got it out of the way What was it 45 minutes later? Who's that? Because we I don't think we knew that it was like on air how many were there. A local bodegas, but with a horse. And you just gonna go get a cup of coffee. I'll be right back.

Next to you now. Yeah, Keith is gone for fucking an hour. But were they all like condom only and like they're playing? That seems like it's probably almost a medical experience because there's so many of them doing it with so many different people. They have it down to a science. Such a job. It doesn't seem like a point.

No, everybody can negotiate without anybody. They like you, you know. Yeah, if you're black. No, they like you, if they like, you know, I, I, I goes, you know, they don't, they don't. Well, here's a, Jim's worried about not using the content. Did they make you wear content?

Jim, yeah, Jim wants, Jim is on search, Jim is in search of AIDS. Jim, a la otra opción, es que no me ha habido AIDS. Yo me debería haber. Quiero que los 10 poundes de la última vez han habido. Yo creo que es superpiel que te hagas AIDS. con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desesperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Norton wants AIDS so bad. Do you have to wear condoms? ¿Es that a fucking medical? No, no, no, no, no. Pero él fue disgusting. No es probablemente no fun.

No fun. Elisio, la vida es un día. No es no fun. Si no te pierdas, no es AIDS. Sí. Si no, no make it out alive. That's not the only good time. We were, we were, we mean him, oh God,

we went to so many places and then Patrice Cup rolls in that night. He came in late. Right. And we went down, we had to go right to the show. That's that hotel we stayed in. Yeah, the Cruddy Hotel. It was a boutique, they call it a boutique hotel, an artist hotel.

And we came in and then we did the show. And then after that, we went to the red light district. More horse. And Patrice went, he went into one and came out 15 minutes later. He was sampling horse. He was whole right when he was about to come he'd stop pinch it off and Just go I'm good. I'm leaving and just walk the fuck out and he's like I didn't come yet and he did like four bitches that way They're five or six. He was going from place to place. You're the same thing in Brazil the same

He just not coming until he fucking got his fill of he tasted. Yeah, he tasted all these bitches because I think it was like he was at a mall It was 50 bucks at 50 bucks a pop right American wow at the time I was 50 bucks a pop and yeah, he came out of everyone and at that point Like what fucking he just hurry up and come and then I remember he went into one across the street It was like an older like a milky bitch older black woman. Yeah, and he with soggy titties. I think that didn't fall She was like the least fucking attractive bitch. He's been though All of a sudden you see your head stick out of the window and she's got like sweat in her hair was kind of greasy And she turned her sign around to closed

She just turned and then he comes out he goes He did it. He fucking busted is not with that saggy old bitch That was fucking fun man. Who was the chick he met in Amsterdam? We stayed in touch with for a long time. He was in love with this girl. I know. Oh, we went to the, that's, that's, she wasn't a hooker though, right?

No, she was a regular square, but she curly-haired bitch. She was hot. She was sexy, sexy-ass girl. Yeah, I remember, he made, he made me go dancing with him after the show. I used to go, we went to that club with the, we went to the, the girl, yeah.. We went to that club with the girl.

Yeah. Remember the club and then the girl, the famous singer came up, but it wasn't her. It was a, what the fuck was her name? Who was the black, black? There we go again. I'm sorry. African American.

Who was the pop singer? She wasn't pop. She was black. She wore the big thing on her head. Black people can pop. Grace Jones. No. Grace Slick.

She's. I remember Whitney Houston. That's what Patrice. Maybe Patrice run the dance floor and we danced. Me and him. It was the it was the weird because Patrice just started dancing with me and he was dancing to the music. And I started but you were dancing too. And it was the most we were all just dancing on the floor. But you were six path bob then. You were six pack. Yeah, but yeah, I was fucking shredded

Shredded, but I was still banging horrors. That's what a fucking addict I am. I could have met chicks That but I would wake up. They sleep until five every day I woke up at like 10 and walked around went to you know flea markets about wooden shoes About a beret and have coffee because I think Bob was thinking about being gay He was really shopping for. Yeah. I had a tour he turned fat. That changed Bob. Well you guys, well he said he was not getting coffee. That's when he was getting all the dick. That's when he was doing all those other things. Fucking gobbling. I had to cut a coffee. He He's gonna beret in a cum stand on his shirt. I remember. Yeah, you call me Bobby, uh,

a Dutch Bob, because I, uh, called me Dutch Bob, because I was out every day doing shit, seeing the country, and you guys were just sleeping. You guys call it. You guys can throw in,

you can throw in the money way. Fuck this country. They're changed. Seeing a guy's cock, behind a dumpster, money away. Fuck this country. This change. Seeing a guy's cock behind a dumpster is not seeing a country. I, yeah. And then we got to that hotel. They changed the hotel to this fucking cheap hotel. And it was a square room, two metal bunk beds,

a folding metal table in the middle of the room. And just a shower. It was a bathroom with square of the room and just a shower. It was a bathroom with square box with a toilet and a shower, like no tub. Well, they fucking snapped. I was fascinated. At that point in my career, I couldn't believe somebody was paying

for my flight in my hotel. How far were you from the Red Light District? You, oh, we had one window. It was a foot by a foot and you could open it up into an alley So if you open the window guys would come up to the window and thinking it was we were hookers They'd walk up to the window to be like hello. Yeah, we were in the red light district. We were in literally Right in the fucking red light district. So as a creep Too I liked it. I was like let's just stay here. We're right here. Why what and he was like well

I'm on the phone with the guy, he goes, I have a hotel, it's way in the country, it's an hour away. And I was like, fuck that, I don't wanna stay an hour away. I wanna walk around, I wanna be right in the mix. And they will like, fuck you, we're out, we're out of here. So guys, how far was it? I stayed.

About 15, 20 minutes. Yeah? I was beautiful, that idiot, what is blouse on it? Oh, I don, how far was it? I stayed about 15, 20 minutes. Yeah. I was beautiful. That idiot would his blouse on. What was the hotel? What was the hotel? How? Oh, I forget way it would just it was a duplex. It was one of the greatest hotel. Literally had a like a pond in the back with ducks. Docs and a main betrise never got along so good. I think they had a piano, like a baby. I'm like, can have the bed Patrice No, keep you taking it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I was in, it was literally a prison cell. In an alley. Sleeping. You had to leave my key at the front. At the front of, when you leave, you have to give your key to the guy at the front.

You drop it in a bucket. You drop it in a bucket. I wouldn't keep. Did you have a room service in your place? I was just, we had whatever we needed. It was beautiful, big conference table with setting that man, but trees having a nice, sweet breakfast.

I want to stupid, so sh, shaking on top of his computer. Hopefully nobody steals it. It was bad. You tried to get, how long did you have to be in there? Well, here's what happened is they came, they went out after the show, after that show that night, we hung out, they went back to that hotel. And I didn't see him.

I didn't know what kind of hotel it was. And I was like, fuck them, out of our way, they're fucked, some shitty hotel. They pulled up with the van to get me and I had fucked up because I had bought polyester pants, black pants, and I had a black shirt, I had a black polyester shirt. And it looked good, but I didn't try the pants on, I knew they were my size, but they were bell bottoms. So I walked out, my size, but they were bell bottoms. So I walked out, I didn't know they were bell bottoms.

I didn't know, so I walked out. It looked like I was wearing a fucking evening gown. It's all black. And they swooshed out at the bottom. I don't know how I say it. And I walked out and I took a pounding. I had no other clothes. I had nothing else.

You know what I mean? This is it. I just kind of was like, I guess this is all right. I walked out and they smashed me for an hour. The guy Franz, who was not even friendly, or not even like laughing, he pulled the, he had to pull the car, the side of the road because he was laughing so hard at the smashing I was getting. Cause they were like, Bob got raped.

Bob got, Bob somebody's bitch. Bob's wearing a fucking dress. He's wearing an evening gown. He's gonna, they smashed me for, and I was, I remember just looking out the window and trying not to cry, like, because it hurt so bad, because I, now,

because now I had to go do a show. We were going out all, we had two shows. I think it was like a Saturday night. We were out for the night and I'm wearing a dress. And I was so sad and I had nobody. And they were like, I'll hold tells the shit motherfucker and I was stuck. Why did she just move rooms?

We said Bob, do you want to come with us? You said, yeah, we like, no. Yeah. They wouldn't let me go. They made me stay in the shit hotel. That's the way. It was fucking it was you would have liked it. I mean, you would have hated the room,

but you would have liked it because you're right. I mean, right after the show, I was in the dirt. I would have taken the nice hotel though. He would have taken it. He would have definitely taken a nice hotel. I need accommodations. Yeah, except the one for a gentleman. Yeah.

He's a combination. A metal bunk bed. Honestly, God. A big metal. I have to put the book on them. Yeah. These are accommodations. A metal bunk bed. Honestly, God. A big metal. I was so infuriated. Those two guys was, I was just pacing back and forth like, fuck this place. I'm not disd- they said, what do you get, dude?

We had to make the compass, change the tiles. But then it looked like they changed tiles here. You fucking, I was just cursed. Does a bad hotel room make you angry? Oh, thanks for you. Not seer. I can't do it. I can't do it a horrible hotel. I can't stay still like it I'm just oh my god. I hate it now, but I I kind of I took that from you guys because I did I and when when you first Start doing comedy and somebody actually pays for your flight in hotel

I could I that that was just ridiculous to me. I'll tell you who ruined me was Dice, because just opening for him, you stayed in the same hotel and they were all five-star hotels. And after that, I'm like, how do you go back to these fucking dogs shit hotels? Even though they're just regular rooms, but you're in the fucking San Francisco Ritz Carlton,

you know, this is fucking amazing. I don't wanna go back to a fucking comedy condo. I can't do it. I'm a condo with those motels. I seen a prostitute fistfighting her, her pimped outside my window. I can't do this shit. I was in a hotel in those blood on the sheets. Oh man.

It drops of blood. It was just like, dude, I called out the front. I go, this blood on the sheet. She goes, you want to change rooms? And I go, no! This fucking, someone might have been murdered. There's like this blood on my sheets. I just check.

I do a Quinn does now. I just check myself out find a hotel in the area and just check myself into that. Yeah. Yeah. That's a Quinn does. He taught me that like five years ago. He would just go in if it didn't, if it wasn't good, he'd check himself out. Wouldn't tell the club either.

So when they were looking for him to pick him up, he'd be like, I'm over here now because that hotel fucking blows. And then they just pick, they just looking for him to pick him up He'd be like I'm over here now because that hotel fucking blows and then they just pick they just take it they pick it up Yeah, I did that a cute couple times it works I did that in Montreal recently I had a meltdown I got there and that fucking piece of shit Hilton which I never stay in that they have a higher They have a strike a food worker strikes you couldn't get room sir I was I was out of my fucking mind I was there

Oh, I went nuts and I fucking fucking I made them put me in the inner Continental and they were actually the hotel manager was very nice But if you actually you're having a meltdown they'll move you it was fucking unacceptable. I like the hide it sucks Thanks, does it? Yeah, terrible the hides have finished it like 90 yeah, then room service told 10 fuck you What do you want 24 hour room service? Yes, yes What the fuck are you? I'm you know, I'm corporate Kelly we work late. We're back at one o'clock in the morning

I'm only gonna seize a salad with some chicken the last thing I need is fucking 25 room service. I don't need I don't need cookies on demand. I get a salad though Yeah, that's what I do You're right. I have willpower two in the morning Lonely already jerked off twice and there's nothing on TV. Yeah, I look down as a fucking I can order fucking 19 cookies and a fucking thing of a lobster mac and cheese go Fuck yourself. I'm saying at a high it where it's over to 11 and I have nothing high. It's a terrible Yeah, they've become I don't mind it. I know if the TV is square. I'm out if it's if it's what are you doing tube TV

You may what are you doing? I'm looking at one of your cheat things But I had to snap it out of the road bank. They're all road bandages Won't you leave stuff alone, mind your business. Fucking stuck with it. Stop smelling shit too. You really are a fucking little serial killer. A little mini serial killer. You like to smell things.

If you had more strength, I bet you'd kill girls. You was worried about getting your ass kicked by the first victim. So anyways, so yeah, this was supposed to be a tribute to Patrice. We got to do it again. Let's face facts. Yeah, we don't, man. Yeah. It was a nice tribute on Tuesday night. Well, Tuesday night was this airing. It was good. So hopefully it was really good. It wasn't a big fire.

It killed us all. It was, uh, it's going to be a great night. And I love, I like I talked to Georgia and it's, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's gonna be a great night. And I love, like I talk to Georgia, and it's, you know, it's gonna be a fun night. It's not a night of sadness, but, you know, it hasn't gotten really easier for me though, as far as missing them, you know. I know it's obvious to say I guess, but it actually got worse, you know, because I went to call them a month ago.

I was on the road and I was like, fuck, I got a, and I was like, I still have his number in my phone. So do I, for some strange reason, I said, you know, I don't know. It's weird. I can't delete it. Yeah, I don't, I don't delete it.

I'm like, why don't I delete this there a number? I can't. I still have manny's number in my fucking phone. Yeah, I can't do that. Yeah. I don't delete dead friends. Yeah. I don't. I still have Mani's number on my fucking phone. Yeah, I can't do that. Yeah. I don't delete dead friends. Yeah. I don't know why.

You can't. It's actually, there's something about it that's, you know, it's cold and it's too final. It's done. You're done. Yeah. You're moving on and, you know, it just, it's just, it's your friend's the hammer your phone.

Oh, dude, might these to funnel Mike, Mani, Geraldo and Patri- I don't know if I still have Geraldo. You guys are hoarders. Yeah, we hoard dead people's fucking numbers. Freaky. I'm gonna take them all off right now. No you're not. You gotta take Patri's off.

Why not? There's no reason to have my phone. Really? Yeah he's dead. I don't mean that to be called either. I love Patri's, but it's like why am I doing that? It's silly to have dead people on my phone. Try calling them. But why don't you just do that though in the comfort of your house? Yeah, why do you get to do it on air and make a decision now? Because now because now I won't do it later.

Well, I'll have Kelly call you. Every minute of fat pussy lips call you. You know what? He's not even in my phone. Really phone really no you probably weren't even friends with Patrice I know perform once and Cincinnati I'm lucky to me no you know it is I've lost a lot of numbers something's wrong my phone I wonder if I lost his number wow I got it I can't delete it I can't do it. I can't go on a drag either. I can't tell it. I And I remember I remember when he first moved to the city. How do you kid? How did you meet him? I'm when you jackasses came to New York. What do you mean? You stupid dame Patrice y'all came to New York and I see this kid, you know,

and the black guy is my job to know who the black guys are coming in now. Right. My knee in there and I say, yo, you need a ride to the bus stop, took him to the bus stop, I told him to remind. I have a remount, the Harris women at the time. It's a remount.

Take him to the bus stop. And I'm sure he's like, ah, damn, it's Coxucker, get to the bus stop, and make him take him to the bus stop. And then we start hanging out from there and hanging out. And then that was that. How do you move in with you, though? It's my job, man.

What do you mean? I keep, if black, I'm like the Harriet Tugman of black comics. The hoe? No, not. Yeah, Harriet Tugman. Oh, shit, it sucks that you get to really be on point with names with him, because. Yeah, no, no, he's right.

The black, I just said Harriet Tugman. That's right The black guy. I don't know. I'm not gonna say him. Is it guy don't just guy had no idea he's right no Just just make it a Harriet Tugman The Harriet Tugman yeah No, it is just the fucking what a piece of shit. I'll tell you a norinine. He's an edgy nerd that fucking made it Norin is the guy we we took his lunch money, but now he's got it over us because he knows he's more intelligent You didn't just take My lunch

I don't know I like to try No, but this is not he's not major because before he was he was talking. I said, Rosie O'Donnell. He said, Rosie O'Donnell. I'm like, Jesus, how do I not address this? Yeah, but who cares? Do you care? No, I really don't. I didn't notice the difference when he said,

he said, Rosie, I don't give a shit either. No one cares about that. No one's a fucking nut. I thought he said, Harriet Tubman. No, stupid, I never said Tubman. That's because you were looking at me when he said, but he said, Harriet Tubman. Nothing. Oh God, you stink. Why did you just stop that just for that?

Because you just say that you were the Harriet There's a big I said You gave it all out of my nut stop. There's a norton likes to correct people. That's his thing. That's not true Yeah, you do you're Yeah, you do Norton is a corrector that's what he likes he's a he's like a little fun fact guy He likes to know shit when someone says something wrong He put his little dink guitar. He his eyes open wide and he goes what what's that?

And then he makes you say it again so you can fuck it up again and then you get nervous and you try to I don't know and then you fucking think I said and then I'll say then as you're doing that he's thinking of some some sentence to smash you with then he gets you and then he just goes away that's his thing. Well it's with glaring errors. It's not glaring. Rosio Donald is not glaring. It is. No it's not. Not not anybody without ears is not. If you're the ears is a glaring. Nobody would have fucking everybody would have caught. Nobody would have caught., why did you become known? But you really are just a fucking old

Jew you guys are gonna shit. You're not gonna shame me into wanting correct names. You are you're just an old little fucking Hey, hey Lenny Marcus. Yeah, you fucking man. Lenny Marcus is dumb too. She's thinking he's gonna do it for glasses He's smart Lenny's a fool. I play words with friends No, you know, you know, you know, you should be just called it should be just called words with you because you have no friends Words with nerds you stink We had a time machine. We just go back and punch him in a stupid thick glasses. He plays crap. I'm just, I don't like that.

He fucking knew in your cowlicks. You're making fucking, we take a shit on your shitty hair. Fucking kick you around your book bag, you fucking dog. The two dummies in the class are not gonna team up on that guy. Who corrected them? You know what you're doing? You're not gonna bully me out of correcting them. We should beat him up and take his wallet away.

He plays gravel with Tranny's. He takes his car keys and throw him out the window. All right, so I apologize for interrupting you. You were saying that you're the Harry. I didn't say anything. Harry, you're a tug-winner. I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything.

I didn't say tug, I didn't say that. What's that? I didn't say what you just said. Harry tug-win you do. No, I didn't. You didn't say talk, I didn't say that. What's that? I didn't say what you just said. How are you tugging me, dude? No, I didn't. You didn't say, I said I'm the system Tyson. I said I'm the system Tyson. I said I'm the system Tyson.

So how did he move? How did he move? How did he move? Where were you? I needed a place. He wanted to come to New York like all you guys did. You were still getting on a bus. I believe coming from Boston at the time.

I was still coming on a bus, yeah. Yeah, so Patrice decided he moved into my kitchen. He did, he fucking moved. Do you have a go to his house when Patrice lived there? And Wibbridge? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know. You actually made a wall in your kitchen.

I made a wall. Patrice had this little tiny space. We have four roommates, 900 a a month and couldn't pay the rent It was 900 a month total total and you had four guys and you still couldn't pay the rent still still how long you live in him for Maybe a two-year Two years you live with yeah, I remember going over there. I remember that was the first road gig I did with you Yeah, I slept over your house Yeah, I remember going over there. I remember that was the first road gear I did with you.

I slept over your house, stupid was there, and then we played a tomb raider all night. And then we got like maybe 40 minutes sleep, and then we had a fucking start your stupid shitbox car that wouldn't start, you had like punched the side, and then piss on the fucking engine,

and it started. And then we drove all the way to the airport, and I forgot my ID. Wow. Remember that? We had to go all the way to 97th and I forgot my ID. Wow. Remember that? We had to go all the way to 97th and Lex to get my ID and go back. Good day for you. Yeah, Keith.

Keith? He drove you to all the way back in. Yeah. Were you a flight to catch? Yeah. And here's the different, that's why Keith, he doesn't crack under pressure with that shit. If it was you, if it was Norton or even me, the fuck you would have broke a horn and bit of fucking tire off

You would have left me you want to tell me? Yeah, get a cab get a cab and left I would have wanted to say go get your ID and come back and I'll be meeting the lounge I'm relaxing I'm gonna have a I'm gonna have some cheese and crackers in the first class lounge and I would have said I'm not I can't get in the first class Class lounge. Yeah, but I love you've been in the first class lounge, man. A couple of years. A few years, yeah, not long. Oh, okay. About five, four years. We have plus, it's frequent flyer stuff.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't like that, though. Me and Bob had to set next each other going to Brazil while you were on a retreats had sweet seats. Me and Patrice flew first class because me and Patrice upgraded. We bought, I bought a high coach ticket for Brazil, but then upgraded with miles.

We did, I didn't buy first class ticket, neither did it Patrice. We just flew in a more expensive coach ticket plus an upgrade with a lot of like a hundred thousand miles. Well, that fucking trip too, I didn't give a fuck. I was so excited to go. I remember we got off the plane. I was so nervous about getting killed. I was so excited to go. I remember we got off the plane. I was so nervous about getting killed.

I was so paranoid of getting killed. Kidnapped or beat up or robbed. From the second we landed. I was on a flight. I wasn't worried about getting killed, but I was religious kind of dude. So I was trying to fool God and is saying, I wasn't really going to buy too many prostitutes.

I thought in my head I was like, hey, I'm just gonna go out there and hang on my friends. You know, like, as soon as we had to go around prostitute, you know. Barring all the other evil shit that we did there, it was probably one of the best times I've had as a comic with comic friends. It was fun.

It was, I didn't have a laugh that. I mean, I don't see comics doing that doing that i mean what comics get together in vacation together we we'll come to see together and go to a third world country to get prostitutes together but what comics go to a ghetto and take advantage of the poverty by fucking their women in the mouth and at ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I have the truth is trying to get words to say to the prophet. I hated his stupid, hey, touches big dumb nose. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, who the man,

yeah, Obligado, safado, big, big long pointing finger. Maybe so happy when he almost got shanked by that fucking Brazilian guy. I remember that.

Yeah, because he, he was, he had 19 kids around him. He's feeding children. I told you all, get rid of the damn kids. Oh, he pointed with that big finger. He pointed a little kid, come here, where you want? Oh, what is he saying? They go to a party, he says he wants a chicken.

I get him chicken. Like he's a fucking, he got fucking $8,500 in the bank, you fat fuck. Stop acting like you're a dumb wall. You like you have millions, like you own this country. Fuck you, fucking cock sucker. You're not, I'm not kidding. You're right.

I was funny, you're messing with the billionaire, Don Juan. No, I meant to as a lover, stupid. That didn't mean he was a billionaire. I didn't mean it money wise. Don Juan was a fucking lover. I know. Stupid.

See how he corrects people and everything. He's not even listening for the conversation. He's really just playing words with friends in his head all the time. It's not an attack, you're two dumb friends. Yeah. Yeah, I remember. And then the little kids watch the money you pull out of your pocket when you come out, how much you got,

and then they tell the older kids, and then the older kids fucking try to get you. And I remember that night, I'm walking with him from club Help A. And it was two blocks back to the whole, orthon. Was it even two blocks? It was like, it was really close.

It was really close. And I remember Patrice was got sick of the little kid, the little kid wanted something. And he's like, ah man, beat it. And the little kid was like, beat it, okay. And he went right over to the fucking, one of those Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fucking favela dudes with a scar on his mouth and a tattoo on his fucking eyelid.

And he went off the first, go fuck out, go fuck out, go fuck out, he started doing that shit. Like I was gonna get here as a Maricano and then he was spitting, and it was walking behind us, trying to get in patruches, it was like,

ah shit, and I'm like, just keep walking, don't look back, we're almost there. And I remember there's three security cards in front of the author and my heart's pumping out of my chest.

And patruches walked slow as shit. I can put up a nice fucking white guy. Fucking, I was in shape then too. Let's get to the hotel, but that slow motherfucker had a, you know, fucking just pay himself back to the hotel. No, you know why that, you know why? I remember that night. One of the reasons that happened was because he,

there was one older kid who he didn't wanna give money to. It was a weird thing, like, Patrice didn't like one of the reasons that happened was because he, there was one older kid who he didn't want to give money to. It was a weird thing, like Patrice didn't like one of the kids. He was like, not you, like he thought that the guy was doing something that he shouldn't have been doing. And that was like the guy that got someone to come back. It was a really weird thing. Like he thought one kid was getting the other kids

to do something. No damn kids though, that job is to get you to get that money. I said, they count what money you got. Oh sure. So they come and ask you either way. Yeah, but none of us knew that. And he saw these little kids in Patrice, you know, in his heart as a fucking good guy.

Yeah. And he's just paid for coax. He gave him coax and chicken. Adriano was the kid. I remember his name. Yeah, they were the... Yeah, I always tell those kids to hit the road, beat it. Well, as soon as you left, this is what was freaked me out.

As soon as you left the club help or the cafe at night, you'd be attacked by children and mothers with babies for money. And remember, remember you walk into the cab and it was just, they would swarm over the cab. And it was, it was fucking ridiculous. Yeah, you got to run getting a cab. If you offended any of them, you're fucked. Because now the older kids are gonna come over and go.

But they're also used to people saying no and ignoring them. There's a way just to go like no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't have it. But you know, you had to be a careful way you did it. Yeah, I had to be real careful. That was it. That was like the night when he, you know,

we had that rule, nobody in the car. You know, you put the girl, if you're gonna get a girl, you put her in another car and she wouldn't go and he threw in the back seat with me I'm alone. No, Patricky, no, Patricky, no Patricky, I don't want to go without you, Patricky, me and Sabah Cab is you. Oh god, I remember. Shit, just go on the cab. Oh Patricky.

All right, come here. Bobby, move over. No Patricky, no. Bobby, move the fuck over She sat next to me. I'm like what was screaming at him. He's like Literally just shut the fuck up Bobby who and he goes, Bobby shut the fuck up I'd never seen him scream at anybody like that. He was so fucking mad And I was so mad at him. I wanted a fucking fight him.

This bitch is next to me. She looked shady. He was one of, you know, Patrice always picked those shady looking ones with like a scar. You know, like her fucking elbows were dirty. Yeah, dirty elbows. And then that fat butt's making it up for her.

And then we, I'm a fucking literally five minutes down the road road block cops pulled this over and he was like fuck and I was like see I'm just in the back being a cunt you fuck see see and then they pull the sound I had a thousand I had a that this would have they didn't take a right at a thousand, I had a thousand, this would have been... And they didn't take away. I had a thousand real and I didn't have money back then. You guys all were making more money than me. You guys were all on Tough Crown.

I didn't have the cash that I had was the cash I had. So I was fucking panicking. This money meant a lot to me and if I lost, and I had like thousand real estate in my pocket, I just get out of some ATM that night and they pulled us over and I'm like, my money's gone. They're taking my money. I'm done. I got no more money. I tried to assimilate.

You want to correct that word? I got to Google that. You got the first three letters, right? I tried to. I'm not even left right there. Well, she, look. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm that. I'm not even left right there. Well, she, look, she's a fucking climber. She'll fucking, if Norton fucking said, you want to come on the show, she'd fucking stop this show in a second. I'm never gonna do that. So I get out of the car and I'm panicking. I had a hat.

I remember all these pockets and I had a hat and they went through the trees. And'm panicking. I had a hat. I remember all these pockets that I had a hat And they went through Patrice and the cops had they had a gun They had guns up but not only the guns out they had the machine guns and they had their fingers on the fucking trigger That's like rule one when you have a gun you keep your finger flat You know, you don't put your finger on the trigger just in case. They had their fingers on the trigger. And then that main cop, it was those cops, you know, the uniforms were from, you know, Libya, you know, like fucking nine stars and a fucking big hat. And he kept touching me. And saying, and I kept seeing. See, he was in Mexico. I was like, see, I didn't think of that.

Like he was in Mexico. I was like see. I Really think of that See I kept going see and I did it with an accent too I was gonna see Because I was man trees start rolling this way here. There's all here on my 45 C He can make me take shit out of my pockets and turn around as I see see and then you yeah, I went see They guns The heads down and they stop fucking crack and I'm so scared I see and he goes he taps my pocket with the money and I went See

And I put the money in that on the back of the car and I'm just like almost crying in the hat on the back of the car and I'm just like almost crying And then they finally they they let us go. I got to keep my money. I don't know how that happened We get back in the car and then that's when you guys are like Patrice my Bobby if you say see one more fucking time I was gonna get shot I was gonna go you fucking cock sucka? Yeah, she went back with Patrice. Yeah, Patrice did. You know that girl. What was that name?

He was in love with that, Joan. I remember, yeah, he wouldn't like his girls with his girls. Remember that? I remember walking through the airport where the Manhattan is a little fucking dildo bag clanging together. Clean, clean, remember, he had a duffle bag full his little fucking dildo bag clanging together Clean clean. Remember he had a duffle bag full of fucking glass dildos and Brooks stones foot massages

That's if I found a photo. Oh, what a photo it's Patrice With the girl on the bed and he's got the fucking massager in one hand and he's holding up his big long fucking pretreats finger in the other. He's teaching us. And you, you doctor Dylan, you see dumb Norton, you can apparition on his knees in the background just in my eyes are all red for the photo and I think I creep and he's just paying attention because I'm learning my lessons and the girl is cracking the fuck up because he just made her have an orgasm. And this is a prostitute.

He just made her blow a nut and she flipped out. I remember she just remember she just she was laughing so hard because she came and it was he was so right on with what he was doing. And we were all just in there paying attention to Dr. Dildo. And I got a, what a great photo of Norton just on his knees. Pangatench it. I gotta see that. It's fucking brilliant.

Yeah, my eyes are really red. I look even creepier because my eyes, the fucking red eye is so gross. It was so funny because remember Norton would show up as soon as the sun went behind the ffellas, fucking captain fucking. Narat. Yeah, Narat would come out with his Aussie shirt and his fucking

his half jeans haha his fucking fat white calves haha haha yeah you wouldn't see him we'd be out all day long all

fucking day we'd be out at the pool played tennis and you wouldn't see Norton as And as soon as that sign went behind that fucking mountain, fucking nose for out to come out and sleep it, right? Doesn't better. Yeah, you didn't, you didn't come out at all. Me and Keith were working out. Remember, we were killing it.

Yeah. We were working out. That's when we moved over to the Sheridan, too. I like the orthon. I like the Sheridan better. I was more like the Favillos right there. You're gonna have gunshots. They would have bought you know, they never came into the hotel. That was actually not a bad Favilla and everybody that worked at that hotel lived in that Favilla

Oh did I I talked to all the Kex I wanted to you know me I got a fucking some people's travel channel Bob. I got a fucking And yeah, they were like no I live right there. Yeah, they all live in there and Yeah, I remember that's when we got sick, when betrace got sick, we got the flu. Remember that? I got very sick when we were leaving. I the crud. I thought I almost threw up in the customs line on the floor. I'm like, I'm learning to vomit. Where was that? Is that the crud is from my rack? Oh, no, no, it's from the Brazil, from the hookers, from kissing them. I almost got whatever it was. I got that's where you're calling it back then. Well, the crud, they the crud is is the disease you get in Iraq because in the air all the

sand in the air if you take a photo in Iraq and you'll see it looks like little sparkles that sand because there's so much sand around and people burn the trash and their shit and all that so that gets in the air and when you go over there I got it I got a sinus infection it's called the crud but in Brazil call it that for some reason in Brazil. Might have been wrong. Yeah, I think it's called, we called it the Brazilian AIDS because Patrice got sick, you got sick, I got sick. We all had, we wanted to get penicillin,

that's always a story. We either got burned or got fucking just a cold, but I got that meat pataca, the morning we were flying out. Yeah, we were eating breakfast. I'm like, I'm gonna fucking vomit. I got horribly sick. I didn't puke, but online we're waiting to get on, like I'm gonna throw, we're eating breakfast. I'm like, I'm gonna fucking vomit. I got horribly sick. I didn't puke, but online, we're waiting to get on, I'm like, I'm gonna throw up on the floor.

There's no way, and I didn't. I had to go to the Cleveland Improv to middle. I was meddling for Joey Cola. And I remember I got there, I was at the fucking shitty, shitty Cleveland Improv condo. Oh, that horrible condo. I, that heart- Oh, no. I went there, I had, I was shivering. I had a fever, I had the shakes, I was sweating.

I didn't know what, and I just got, I'm like I'm dying of AIDS. I just got, I got AIDS in Brazil and I'm gonna die in Cleveland, which is just fucking sad. And Kola, I remember he got me all this, he's a sweetheart. Yeah. He went and got me all this stuff at the pharmacy and I

Had a sweat. I was I would go and do the show because I could not do it. I needed the money Because all my fucking money was gone and I remember I was just shaking on stage trying to get through my fucking 20 minutes and But yeah, I got real sick in Brazil, but that didn't stop me from going back Well, I went twice you went three times, right? Yeah. Patrice liked Joey too. Calla. He did? He respected Joey Calla. I love Joey Calla because he was, I don't know, true.

But he was such a headliner, like, he didn't give a fuck. How hard you killed him? The man Patrice went on the same show with Joey. I gave it, I gave it the best I could. I'm breathing him, Patrice gave it all he could and Joey gave us a good pat on the head and been like within five minutes they never knew we were on stage. He fucking could care less how hard you killed me. Yeah, it was a real nice guy. Yeah, he's a sweetheart.

He's gonna tell me to use baby wipes. I started using baby wipes because he was like if you don't use baby wipes, you're spreading peanut butter. Because you want to take a shit. You're just using dry He said is the only part of your body that you don't wash with soap and water You just wipe with a dry piece of paper and he goes get a He goes get peanut butter put on your arm and then wipe it off with toilet paper This and then wipe again. There's still toilet paper. He goes you get a baby wipe and it's all gone And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I have dirty shit ass

From using just still toilet paper because you get a baby wipe and it's all gone and I'm like, yeah, yeah, I have dirty shit ass From using just dry toilet paper What and that's what I got a bidet that's what I got the bidet I got really into clean my ass That's my cue to get the hell out here. Yeah, it's been a fun podcast. Yeah That we closed on that note So I was wondering what what led to your Badea session? I really did. I love the fucking Badea. I know you mean you don't like a Badea.

I don't care about one either way. My asshole sparkles. He just takes a good shower after you take a good shower. Very clean asshole. You take a dump, you take a good shower. You shower after you dump? Yeah. That's just unnecessary.

I shower right before. you shower after you dump. Yeah. That's just unnecessary shower right before you shower Take a good shower you gotta get some water shower after I dump that stupid stupid What if you dump somewhere public like if you're in a public toilet? I don't find somebody's house and take a shower. I gotta go and I excite the pack All right Keith Robinson thanks thanks just stopping by. Settle down. I'm about to come right back. I gotta go home.

We're gonna end the show. You ever hear of ending the show, right? Sit down. Good night. Keith Robinson. The end. Alright guys, thanks for checking out the show. I was supposed to be a bigger show with a bunch of guys

and I found out that I have two one and a half friends I'm not gonna tell you which one is my friend But out of the three people in this room I have one and a half friends. We're each we're each a Third of a friend. You're a third of a friend If you guys want those posters if there's any available to be online very soon The Patriso Neo Tyler Stout posters we only had 500 made up and the reason for that just make more now because they're actually handmade. It's a piece of art,

silk screened by hand. So it's not just you can print them up at fucking staples. These are works of art and if you own one, they're numbered and signed by the artist. So cherish it, frame it, make sure you take care of it because there's only 500 available. So if you got one, you're lucky. If they're online, get them as soon as you can. Don't wait because that's it. When they're gone, they're gone. We appreciate all you guys who have bought Patricia's CD,

make sure you're still by it. Just give it to somebody. Mr. P, it's on iTunes. All that money goes to the family, I believe, still Mr. B. And elephant in the room, I don't believe that goes to the family. No, it's comedy. That's comedy. But he does get money from that and you should have it. And actual audible.com put up I think serious. Serious. Yeah, allowed us to put all the all the Patrice audio. There's like four hours of Patrice from opian Anthony on

Onable you can buy it and the money goes to his family to serious was very good with that so all that stuff goes to his is His family, but also just keep his more than that just Keep his memory alive. He's one of the funniest guys on the planet. He was a friend to all of us. I miss him keep his memory alive. He's one of the funniest guys in the planet. He was a friend to all of us. I miss him dearly and that's it. So let's go out with this. This from his album. As Patrice would say shut up. Shut up. Bobby shut the fuck up. Bobby. 27. You're not. Are you guys together? Well, together or no like together but just friends

You're a lot more white girl pleasant than she is Yeah, she yeah, why is she so fucking angry? What the fuck is wrong with her? You have more sex than her dude, don't you? You don't have sex why was wrong with you sick? You're celibate or you're married You made it waiting for marriage. That's some goofy ass shit you doing buddy You sick? You're celibate? Or you're married? You're made it waiting for marriage? That's some goofy ass shit you doing buddy. Don't do, don't think like that. Are you a virgin?

Okay, so when I meet you, you're not fucking me, but you fuck somebody else in the past. You out your mother fucking mind? Only way you get away with this shit if you are a virgin. And if you fuck with me, I want you to fuck somebody else. Hold you by the way you get away with this shit if you are virgin and if you fuck with me I want you to fuck some of my holy by the way 27 you're not are you guys together or no like together but just friends you're a lot more white girl pleasant than she is yeah she yeah why is she so fucking? What the fuck is wrong with her?

You have more sex to her, dude, don't you? You don't have sex. Why? I was wrong, you sick? You're celibate? Oh, you're married. You made it waiting for marriage? That's some goofy ass shit you're doing, buddy. Don't do, don't think like that. Are you a virgin? Okay, so when I meet you, you're not fucking me, but you fuck somebody else in the past. You out your mother fucking mind.

All the way you get away with this shit if you are a virgin. And if you fuck with me, I want you to fuck somebody else. And I don't want no virgin. I don't need that. I like hoes. I like sticking three fingers in. I don't need to out-cheat, out-cheat. That feels weird.

What is happening? Oh, this is virgin bitch. But I know what I'm doing. I can make you call my fingers. I really can. Young motherfuckers, they finger-pop, you know. I can make you call my fingers. I really can.

Young motherfuckers, they finger-pop, you know. I can make you call my fingers, I really can. Young motherfuckers, they finger pop, you know. Fash, you know, like that poke. I mean, the first time I started finger pop and I felt the blue ball in the back of the book, like I thought I would like hit a kidney as a song, like, oh shit, what's that? I'm just gonna be poking, yeah, I'm poking pussy balls.

Yeah, you like that? Then you learn this move when you turn 35. The G-Spot shit? Cause she's like, stop, stop, I got a P, you ain't got a P, come on, we're in butt. That's just the spot pressing against the bladder. But even if you got a pee, pee, bitch, I don't care.

I'm gonna dope, I ain't afraid of pee. Now, I'm not afraid of nothing. Six away. You pee fine. Don't even be embarrassed. Visions like other pees, where I feed them a book. Peek. You pee on yourself, don't be like, oh, we're good, oh, we're good.

Peek on the way to being embarrassed. Peek some more. Let me put the onion in front. I'm gonna put it in front. I'm gonna put it in front. I'm gonna put it in front. Come on. How should you need just a good... Can you want me to have that face? You can't see it, you just...

Stop playing around. You have had your assazzo lick gorgeous? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh old. If you're a man that don't look at woman as as old, but you look her vagina, I would say that's one of the biggest insults you can give, because the as old is that closer to pussy. So what do you- Okay, well, I had to cut that off, because I don't know the rights to that.

You want to listen to the rest of that joke, go buy his album on iTunes, Mr. P. It's one of the funniest comedy albums put out in the last to that. You want to listen to the rest of that joke, go buy his album on iTunes, Mr. P. It's one of the funniest comedy albums put out in the last few years. It's brilliant. I love it. If you love Patrice, it's the album to get. Cause it's his only one.

Okay, he's not gonna put on another one, and he's never put on one before that. So if you're a Patrice on Neo-Fan, if you're a comedy fan, make sure you get that album off of iTunes. Thanks again for listening to this one. There's supposed to be a bunch of guys on here. I tried to put it together. It didn't it didn't work out fully but I'm glad that Norton and Keith showed

up. You know, I just wanted to put this out here and and talk about them him and with my friends and friends of his and I know let you guys in on on that be part of that. So I hope you liked it. If not go fuck yourself make sure you subscribe and review on I2 and spread the word YKWD Patriso Neo my pal. So that's it. I'll talk to you later. Come on, you know what I'm dead? I miss my sight, I miss my fingers You know what I'm dead? Really, really, really, really You know what I'm dead? I miss my fingers Don't stop filming my face. Stop!