Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - PawFootTub

Episode Date: December 15, 2014

Robert is joined by Dan Soder, Joe List, Luis J Gomez, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable, 33 grados. Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be see. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. YKWD with our Riotcast family are doing a gift drive for the first time.

Gifts donated from you will go to two different groups of kids, NAC in New York and Alliance House in Massachusetts. And our good friends at Tweaked Audio really stepped up. They're offering a 33% off promo and will match every set of earbuds for everyone's soul. So go to twic.io.com and use promo code YKWDGIFT when checking out. And this offer only lasts until December 15th. For more info on the GIFT drive and donating gifts, go to riotcast.com. There's a page set up with details on NAC and Alliance House along with a wish list and where to send the gifts. So please help us make this Christmas a little brighter for these kids.

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you want, simply download the true car mobile app or visit truecar.com today. I'm not gonna come in to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. I always try to keep it like a comic-head. I have a bunch of guys on it. It's just us sitting down. And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's intense. It's rubber-killing. You know what?

It's not a comic-head. It's no topics, no directions. But I love doing it. It's not a fucking cast, I can't. I love doing this. Why you cast a gun? DUDE! FOOT! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN!

RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN!

RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! We're back with all the regulars and Lewis.

Welcome back Kelly, we're happy to have you. Hey, it's nice to be here. You look so great, you've lost so much weight. Yeah. Yeah, I missed you, Lou. Lou Lou. I missed you too, Cal. How's James? He's doing. Yeah, I miss you to kill He's doing so good. I heard you wrote a new hour material. I did it's all about how it's called up and down

Do you know how did you lose all the weight Kelly? Oh? Wow, it just fell out of her in one sitting It's me You know can I just say some of our Kelly for sitting. Yeah. It's me, you're doing it the whole time. What is it? You're the whole time. You know, can I just say something about Kelly Fistuka, you know, who, you know, for three years was on the show, two and a half years, whatever it was. She hasn't contacted me once.

No. Not one email, not one text message, not a Facebook, not a Twitter. Oh my God, I hope she's dead. She's not. She's not that she's I I follow her I talk to her like two weeks after and that was it after she hasn't even That was it. She hasn't even not even a happy Thanksgiving. How's Max? Who's Max? The baby that likes me better than you. Baby doesn't like he likes me 0% I sound Tinney again. I like you 0% Oh, that's unsensitive.

So it's the same. By the way, Bobby, you're sensitive. That's unsensitive? I think sounds crazy again. Does it sound normal to you guys? No, he sounds weird. He sounds a little fucking weird, man. Yeah.

I hope it's not this fucking thing. It's work. Deepu, the whole of a thing. Yes, he knows the human beings racist. I made sure he has one eyebrow, but I get it. Oh, dude. What should you do? Because you have one too. He's literally the sexiest Indian person ever. It sounds weird again. Sounds weird

19 20s radio Radio UFOs were seeing over this I'm gonna talk about Joe Dimaggio being spotted out on the town with Malaman Roe when Lewis thinks 1920s he thinks UFOs That was a big UFO period in America 1920s, I don't even think they talked UFOs back now. That was more like 50s. Well, don't you remember the fucking We know the world or whatever it was when they played it was the 20s You couldn't eat these you wasn't even the 50s. It was during the Great Depression, which was the 1930s It wasn't the 20s

Lewis thinks the great catsatsby is about a UFO admitted. Bobby, can I pick a bone? Yeah, you can pick a bone. Can you pick up the fucking bomb endant while you're at it, too? Yeah, that was a tough one. Jesus, where is it? Yeah, that great Gatsby one, we saw that.

Yeah, the great Gatsby. You probably think the great Gatsby one. I don't even just take it. Before you pick your bone real quick Bobby your theme song. Yeah is on WWE 2k 15 for PlayStation 4. Yeah, they still everything I know do you play as King Kong Bundy and pretend it's Bobby? Good a lot of characters stole your weight It's good. Wow, I'm glad it's there. You don't like you draped it over there. I think it's the reverb is hurting my punchlines. I don't know what to tell you I mean it is a little reverbie but there's not reverb neither of you guys know

It's ecstatic dude from what what do you want me to do Wayne static he died he's here in the spirit now Well who fucking did I mean it works fine and then it doesn't what do you want me to do? Yeah, well as it recording that way as long as, is it recording that way? As long as it's not recording that way, we want to stop and find out? It's kind of, yeah. Dude, you'll be listening to me. If we go through a whole show and it's like this, you're literally gonna kill Deepu. Yeah, and then kill me. And then kill Scopo with Deepu's bones.

Scopo looks great. All right, I'm gonna stop it for one second. All right. All right, we're back. We're not gonna eat our mics, right? I think that sounds better, right? I think so. I think it sounds much better.

I'd like a little more juice in my mic. Okay, you want some? Where are you? Can I get some juice in mine too? I'll take some juice. I just love some orange juice. Oh, that's see, that right there feels real good. Okay, so stay back.

Is that good? Do I got anything? No, where are you? It was a joke. I want orange juice from the cone. It's because you're diabetic, you fat fuck. Screamin', that's what you're blowing out all the mics Yeah, are you exactly what it is?

You know those not eat the mics and you're literally eating the mic you Can you shave? There's the only thing you know about diabetes from the movie steel magnolias. I know it seems to be a magnolias I'll you back up Yeah, I'm all crazy over here. This is bananas. Yeah, I honestly I don't think I've ever sound better on this I sound great. That's all that matters. Yeah fucking corporate Dan and fucking you the dude. Yeah sounds great. Oh Maybe I should try this microphone. That's not on Actually, no, that sounded really good dude. Go ahead. Hey, what about this microphone?

That's not great. I say go over there. I say Lewis Lee get the Kelly spot I'm just saying that then I don't know cuz your little chin whisp Is upsetting me. It's literally Disgusting when's the last time I got the call for why can't I be here? I just I literally got it yesterday I'm two weeks ago when you hosted the show You literally not only were you on the show you were the show. I got a bone to pick with Joe I wait at what we got what what do you have a bone to pick? I have to pick a dick. All right. You get a bone to pick what's your bone to pick?

I just want to watch dudes pick on other dudes bones And you get a bone to pick with Joe yeah, okay, here we go. What's my bone? I want to hit my bones I texted you twice to do the show last week and not even a response Why don't you remember that? I don't think I got it. I can show you the text messages. I got it. Or maybe your phone's fucked up a text and joke.

I think it is, bro. Because you texted me and I didn't get that text. I texted, Lewis, I wrote, I love you, I miss you, and your son. Bobby, look, on Wednesday, November 26th, don't hate the mic. We're not eating the mic today. Hey, Joe, can you do the podcast?

Stop eating the mic. Monday at nine. No response. Then Saturday, hey, Joe, can you do the podcast Monday at nine no response then Saturday Hey Joe can you do the podcast Monday at nine no response you know what it was I was working I was on the road and I was gay and yeah, I didn't know that it's no big deal It's and yeah Monday at nine. I've What?

This mic stinks. I apologize. But anyways, I wrote to Lewis, I love you, I miss you baby, I hate Bobby's baby, and why don't we hang out? And then he never wrote back. Why do you hate my son? I have no clue. He's cocky, dude.

What do you mean, my kid's cocky? Kid's cocky, he's cocky. He should be cocked, dude. He has a better life than you're getting. He's gorgeous. He has one house. They don't even know what life's all about him. Yeah.

He has one male man. He has one UPS guy. He knows his neighbors. And the one male man is his dad. Whoa. How. Pow, pow. Where's the bandana?

It's on fucking Lewis's dumb orange juice microphone. Which by the way, great steel magnolias follow up. Okay, so what's your bone? Right. I just, well, my bone it's it's kind of almost deep in words And herpes I Said Lewis a sweet text about I wanted to hang out with him and his baby and I said I miss you and I love you And I never heard back and I told you I didn't get it. I showed you and I phone that it that's because you got a dumb Puerto Rican phone

That doesn't work measure PCS. Oh wow you got a burner instead of burner dude. It's prepaid There's no contract Anarchy with that phone. I got a burn but we already talked about it. It's on my dick So what's your bone to pick with loose you Three times I've a bone to pick with you. You don't listen hang on one second. We'll get you a bone So you're mad at him, but you send these can I say something you about you? I love you messages. Yeah, please. I think they're fucking disingenuous. Can I try it about I don't think you fucking mean them

Nobody knows if it's a real word. We're all gonna give it to you. Thank you. Um, I think This is I think, that's what you say. What are you finished? You're hurting me right now. See, I think this is a lie too. I think I got your herpes again. Are you saying that Joe's texts kind of feel like when a stripper says you're cute? I know. What I think, it's more like, okay, do I miss you? I love you.

And if you call him over here, I miss you. I love you too. He's like, yeah, whatever. And then he'll fucking smash you. Joe doesn't answer my call. Anytime Joe posts anything on Facebook He can like hey go to the DMV. Love you guys. Bye. He loves everyone always so that's why he's saying is distant Gen. I don't just say I love you to somebody. I want if I say I love it to you. I really fucking mean it like it

It's really I love you. He doesn't say to the entire Facebook community. I love your lips This is the closest ever been to you. Bobby's got lips like a glazed donut. They're always wet and tasty looking. Are you writing like monologue jokes? Bobby's got a cartoon fucking comic. Oh wow, he's cute. He'll stack with the old blog. You were right there.

I was about to jump in on the monologue thing. And he's delivery. He thinks. Bobby's here. Bobby Kelly I do. He's delivery, he thinks. He's like, Bobby's here, Bobby Kelly's here. Bobby's got the lips, like a glazed donut. You've always went and they, you want to eat them. I'm in great show for you, the food fighters are here tonight. Eyes like charcoal he does.

Listen, food fighters feel here? No, they're not. I would go, hey. Hey. Yeah, I think I said, that's the shit. Vegetary, I'm going to see them at not I would go. Hey, hey shit. Yeah, I think I sent I'm gonna see them at fucking Fenway Park me too buddy. Yeah, well you're backstage I do I got VIP mother fucker. Oh, we're sure you're not the VJP. What's that very jerk person?

Listen, that was gonna be a fat joke. I'm not gonna be a fat joke. Listen, you got to be a fat joke. Can I fucking call the notable? You got the line? Yeah. What was gonna be the fat joke? What I'm saying, Joe, and VFP. Dan, back me up on this. Yep, right? He says I love you, and then you call him up and be like,

Hey man, I love you too, and he gets weird about that. No, you do a thing, and you know you do it, and I've talked to other close friends of yours, and then when I bring it up, they just start laughing because they're like, oh it's funny that you guys know what a fucking jerk off obvious. You play into people's personality. You know that I'm a fucking nervous Nelly and I'm afraid that everyone's mad at me and I know that I'm gay but I don't want to tell people and then you call.

See that? Are you really gay? You call? I was gay. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, definitely if he was. Just Stan, you never know when it's real with him. Sarah's a dude.

And then you call, you call and you like this. Joe, it's Bobby, call me. And so now I gotta freak out. Those are terrible, by the way, those are all true. Oh yeah, those are the worst men do. Let's you do it to all your friends. I was self admitted, I have a tone issue. Yeah, you do. I am self admitted with that

Okay, I always even though I know I did nothing wrong. I feel like I did the You have at me. Well, yeah, oh, it's Probably yeah, but when the message is 20 seconds longer. I'm no I'm fucked if it's five seconds like I he just want Anytime I look at my phone and it's Bobby Kelly I literally walk out of the room for my chicken, my child. Hey, cry. Because no, no, no, because I could be getting yelled at and I don't want my son to see me breaking down.

That's not true. I don't want him to see my eyes me being the non-alpha male. The last three, the last couple of months we've talked have been very cordial. I know. And now I feel like I'm off-guard, and it's a game of numbers as well. So the next one He's gonna fucking be dude, but the fuck did you do to the fucking wire my studio you little motherfucker?

What did you do? You fuck you do? That's what I didn't say that You just fucking you just read it on himself. What did you do? By the way, it sounds great right now. What did I will say it does sound amazing? What did you do? I didn't do anything bro. I spilled the coffee into the mixer I don't care That is amazing acting you really do have a show coming out of an asshole. Do you have sugar up here?

What the fuck why gonna stop the flow for your fucking sugar? You suck in a dick about your show. We all know it's gonna be good. Hey, Bob the other day I was talking about? First of all. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh you, say I love you so much, man, you've helped me so much. And I'm like, hey man, I really appreciate that and you get weirded out by that. Like you don't reciprocate it. I love reciprocating, what are you kidding? Somebody says right, one of you guys

I keep all my friends. You both have the opportunity to say the second r. You're reciprocating. You gotta keep your receipts because the taxes, they take these things. Recedo-cate. Reciprocate. Am I out of line saying that? You're hurting feeling?

You understand? I get what you're coming from? At least corporate Dan from right in the middle Dan. And I'll tell you that as somebody who constantly looks in my rearview mirrors at the line behind me, I will say you're in line. Man, throw that bomb in. Give me the fucking bandana, faggot. I don't even know what that was.

Stop seeing faggot in here. Oh my god. You just said faggot and you were saying the N word before No one watching like a lot. You got that heart. Are you fucking kidding me man? It was like a lot of intention. Yeah, like yeah, I said San Nigger. That's not the same thing He's right Jesus dude. I'm sorry. That's all right Um, what the fuck is wrong with you? Depot, I listen to your show that you are on. You're not like that Puerto Rican man who is calling you those words. I put an old Hindi person on him.

His son will be as light as a flower. There's the steepest mother though, right? He puts your mind in this Christ Lewis. The fuck, bro. You're blind. You're like just going the opposite route. It's supposed to be dark. I'm not sure if he puts your mind to this Christ Lewis the fucked bro To be dark Steve. Are you okay with that? The SN word He is handsome God damn it. Oh, it's enough in daddy with me. That's all it's

He's fucking you're insane for an Indian guy. Let me see. Not only the best looking Indian guy I've ever seen in my life. Look at that. The camera. The camera is fucking clean in his skin up. The five o'clock shadow looks perfect in the camera. It has the right ten pounds to my face. Do you know who looks like if you caught a man turning into a werewolf? Yes. It's the right time. You ride brow hair and your pubic hair should not connect.

That's my theory. When it comes to sexy man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm notic it should not connect. That's my theory when it comes to sexy man. I think scopo looks really sexy. I think you have a thing for like you know you know much better looking people is in scopo not at all. No you guys are just

just I say Sandiger and then I'm the racist I'm joking okay you guys genuinely see him like he's an animal Bob knows fucking normal white guy deep who's very good looking Deep a great face. I would rather I would rather fuck that ass you see that Yeah, that's got to look at tight. I'm just saying what's better looking job has a hemorrhoid Those yeah, how do you know how do I know because every time I figure shit it kills me for like three Wow, you can't fucking do any you get fucked in the ass that no, it's up. Joe. Hey buddy First of all scopos back would be a better tone to come on because that white to brown

It would look kind of sexy, you know, we've slow-posed back would be better to come on. No deep who yes I scopo I meant deep who I you thinking about putting your hand Joe for you because I fuck a lot of white women. Think about putting your hand on D-POO's back the tone of your skin versus the tone of his skin. How nice that would be. Why would you say for me, I fuck white women? No, I'm just saying for you.

White woman. Because you want. What is your fucking, listen, we're getting started. Oh, what are you- I was gonna say. Sodor, everyone rewind, because this is a funny moment.

Sodor was gonna make a joke about me being gay because I was like Scopus handsome. He's like he is a thing and then Lewis interrupted by being like Deepu is more attractive than Scobo and then so do bailed on his gay joke and was like no way scopus more attractive And it was really it was really a fun moment. I didn't think I was gonna make a good look at you You got a thing for scopus way more attractive. I liked it. It was fun. You look great. What's fucking bone to pick with me? I said I was a joke because I said you don't listen. Oh, apparently I do. Because you asked Joe and I brought it back. You asked Joe list three times. What is bone to pick with me? Wasn't he just kept on saying get over and over again. So there's no you have no bone. Did you know I love you?

I you know what I will say I have a bone. I have a bone. You don't have a bone. No, I love you. You know what? I will say I have a bone. I have a bone. Throw it out there, buddy. Can I have a new segment on the show called Lewis's Bone? Not at all. Yeah, go ahead. Lewis's Bone this week. This is the first time music.

All right, can I get music? Joe, a little bit of a old school. And Johnny Gus now sponsored by Dyle Soap and Rilla Creme. It's another one of Lewis's bones with Lewis Jay Gomez is three fifths of a person You know I'll tell you this is the first time in a very long Okay, excuse me. Hey, Charlie can turn the music down a bit the music has to play through Just a sound. I just want to turn it down. I'll turn it down on the board

Good good. Yeah, you turn up a little bit more So listen it's the first time I mean I don't know how long I'm sorry, I turned it back down Good that you've had the regular zone. Yes, yeah, bro More really Yes That rack it off so yeah, but I haven't had the regulars on in a wild. You know understand why why? Well, he hasn't been around he hasn't been you none of you guys have been around you do the show it every week like I said the regulars

Doing the show at night. It's hard to do at night because I I'm a comedian? I look it's been hard for me to do the show, but I also I've become very fond of will so Vince He's just a little black yeah, Jesus guys. I love will man this fucking nut in these times. You're right I love will we're getting diverse the show's diverse now will I love will we're getting diverse the shows diverse now will While we had the girls are on a girl a lot of girls coming on lately. Mm-hmm Lewis is Puerto Rican But I'm just saying it's a little hurtful. I've been around Joe's been around. He hasn't been around He wasn't he was away. They've been doing the show at night. Yeah, I text Joe doesn't respond No Joe was away actually you were I actually talked to you your way somewhere so it's just me. Huh? It's just me. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's my bone to pick. You know, I had you hosted. You've always been like, do you know, the first person you asked the host? I know. Yes, you will. He was actually. Yeah. What the

What is it on? Why do you have to have? Hold on. Is it because you want your own segment segment Bobby's bones? No, that sounds way better. It's a little bit of what I'm saying is why don't why do you need that? Why did you need that moment? Well, I just felt like we haven't been on in a while together and I wanted to know why I would love to go as Dan has a career and we on Joe's getting a career and you threw away almost career. So now you get a bad move to LA. I really wish. Oh, that's awesome. You almost moved to LA. Are you do. That was great. Are you really gonna move to L.A.? I wish did. Why? Just move. I'm in the middle of the fucking worst situation of my life. What do you mean? What happened? Yeah, let's talk about it. Oh shit. We moved into an apartment where on in Harlem first mistake. That is racist, Dan. I didn't want to go to home. Why don't you go to home? Why don't you just go to fucking the story like these queers because we want a backyard. We really want a backyard.

Get a backyard in the story. We search up and down high and low. I'm sure you're high. Why don't you just use the park as your backyard because you can't let my dog is a psychopath with balls. Okay. He's a jack officer. He's got his balls. Why is it going to the park? Yeah. Chop him off. Pitbull is going to snap his fucking neck because my dog likes to fight pitbulls in psychopath with balls, okay? He's the jackass is her he's got his balls. Why is it like him to the park? Top of mouth. Pitbull is gonna snap his fucking neck because my dog likes to fight pitbulls in rotwilers.

Why don't you get your dog neutered? Because he's too old at this point. No, it's not. It's like fucking neutering Bobby Kelly at this point. I mean, I'm pretty much neutered, dude. Yeah, I'm I'm I haven't done shit. I get home late. I'm I go to bed for early, I wake up early. I haven't done shit. I get home late. I'm I go to bed for early wake up early I don't do shit. I don't even jerk off that much anymore. It's a sad fucking thing

He naps with a cone around his head. You want me to trick you off, buddy? I would love it. You got nice lips We want to do to you. I don't want fucking suck your dick. Put your lips. All right, I can party. I see this is where I don't is he game You should put your dog down, bro That's what I would do. Is that crazy? Could I be honest though? It might be the funniest thing you've ever said. Listen, well, I mean, so what's your problem? I really want to know.

So you're in this apartment, what's the deal? You're in Harlem. We show up on the first with our stuff. Yeah, and Here's what happened Lewis didn't know it was a black neighborhood. No, I did. Oh So we show up and the apartment was supposed to just be ready I mean we signed the lease to the walkthrough. They said nothing. There's no problems with the apartment Yeah, we show up. There's four fucking dudes in the apartment. Yeah, fucking. And they're just having gay sets right in my kitchen. What's the address?

I don't know what's going on with you, dude. I really don't. I love me. Yeah, you know, I'm kidding. Yeah, but I don't know when you're kidding. So usually a joke comes right out. I mean, a laugh. There's smoke. Billing out of the apartment, dude, they're like dust and smoke billiardly apartment. They're doing construction on the scenes. Okay, it's in the rain on the first. Okay, I have my entire moving crew, right only The hammer fisting team was not me actually it's not not scope of this time

um and My baby in the rain and we can't go into this apartment because there's dust everywhere Okay, so she puts us up for the night, whatever. She put you up, who's she? The landlord. Put you up in a hotel. What hotel? So what hotel?

Hilton. Oh, wow. Down down. Chelsea. That's great. That's great. Nothing's great. The Hilton's nice.

The hotel, yeah, okay. This is such a lovely video. Tell us where the comics do. They're like, what dude? Fucking cut the other breakfast. That's awesome. Okay. It's awful.

I'm with my child at night. He's supposed to go to bed in an hour. I'm showing up with my belongings. I understand, I understand that. Well, you know, you're a fault for moving at six in the afternoon. Yeah, it's a little late. Who the fuck does that?

We couldn't get to the storage facility. It's just, please. Why couldn't you get to the storage facility? Why do I have to go backwards now? Can I move forward to the storage facility? No, you have to tell the, why couldn't you go to the storage facility? Because I called the day before Thanksgiving, right?

To get to I wanted to get our stuff on the Sunday and they were closed from the day before Thanksgiving until the Monday. Because it's the holiday. Yeah, they just didn't tell anybody the store store facility closes at the end of the month. Yeah, I guarantee there was signs. There weren't. There was nothing. They didn't send an email. They were just like, yeah, sorry. It's like a mom and pop shop sort of. Okay. Okay. We're sad. It's your problem right there. We don't go to mom. I know. I should have went to fucking court, it's like a mom and pop shop source of Solly, okay, we're sad. It's your problem right there. We don't go to mom. I know I should have went to fucking court and it's go to the Walmart. So, okay, so you can't get your stuff out when you wanted it.

So I had to speak to them Monday morning to set up a time. Set up for 3.30 in the afternoon. Boom truck goes there, we get all the shit out of the storage facility. We go over to the spite of six o'clock at night in the fucking hood with my baby in the rain. Right, well, you wish you check. With me. Okay. She she manned you. No, not yet. She she ain't figures out a way to build blame it on me Don't you worry she figured out a way to blame it on me So she fucking maybe she put your girlfriend down

I think it's all coming to putting him down. Is that even a positive? I think all the problems go away if he goes down. Go ahead. So we go to the hotel and have the next day. We moved our stuff from like two hours later. We went to get, I brought my entire, I brought my entire moving crew to Popeyes and I bought everybody Popeyes.

And you're talking about the hood. Who is it, Oene? Oene is there. Yeah. A few comics. Some other dude, Kenny DeForest. Okay. So you guys load all the stuff in

the apartment. She holds the baby in the truck. We don't know. We don't load the stuff yet. We can't after we eat. We load the stuff in the apartment. No, she goes to the hotel. Yeah, because they with the smoke fucking they had a finish up. They still they needed another hour to finish. What are they doing? Insulating the ceilings, which you had never mentioned before we were moving into the past. That's good though. That's good to insulate. It's not fucking good to not have it done. Huh? What the fuck did you just say? It's not good to not have it done. It's good to have it done. It's the same way. That's what I said. We said the same thing. No, except you said it. Did to not have the project finished. It's good that it's done though because now you have insulated ceilings shut so you're not cool

You guys are like two foreigners teaching each other English It is good for the world to go up The god the world no go up. You know that time Barry joke egg and I'll Hi, so okay, so now you take all you fucking open markers to go for Popeyes. Well you're Popeyes in the room. Can they get whatever they want? Yeah, we are. Or is there a limit, a six-dollar limit?

No, we got fucking, I got like, I think I take somebody out, whatever the fuck. I said, what do you guys want? We all got bucket to check any sides? What do you want? Or whatever you want? Two guys are splitting a number six. Two of you guys are splitting a number six.

I got the one chicken strip and a spryce to split for every two. And you guys be very conservative with the honey mustard. Bobby, can you take us out after this? Yeah, great. Really? Whatever we want. Whatever we want.

No. Why not? I want to make sure I like it. Delphis goes. Hey, crazy. Maybe. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza. Crazy Maybe pizza Pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza

Why don't we go to Cuba? What's Cuba? country no you know I think they have an embargo treated you have to go to Canada before you go It's my favorite restaurant a block over. It's a Cuban food. Yeah beautiful steaks and chickens and rice and Plantains and salads and plant it's on the gourd here. Plantations. We're going to bear burger. Yeah, I just came from bear burger. Forget it. No, we'll go bear. We'll go one on one buddy. No, how much I love you. The guy's going to go to dinner. I want to go to dinner, but you have to pay. I know. I got a 730 show. Can we do it in between five and and 730 if we stop talking about it and pick a place

What do you want to go? I want to go Dan? You know, let's put a bunch of course in a hat I go everywhere, huh? Put a bunch of places in a hat and then we fucking choose some place You really had no childhood. You're still living games out Yeah, and don't take off your hat your head Our For ten seven that was a joke that was a statement. That was a joke I gotta get back our show tacos across the street tacos a good, but

Come on, I mean I'd rather go to the fucking Vietnamese place. Oh my That place What do you want pizza? Oh, I like anything Go to Johns want to go to john no Me Joe in the corner. Oh john's the actual rest of rammas lies right there. That's the best slice in New York Oh, we eat bends all the fucking guys. Oh, it literally just sucks right now. No, it doesn't they love it the fans Where do you want to go go to the chat room? What are they saying about our discussion? We'll have that you got a guy from Where the chat room will decide where we go for dinner perfect

I'm not a like this. We got a guy from anybody where the chat room will decide where we go for dinner perfect I'm not a like this. We got a guy. I thought you were corporate We got a guy from Norway watching. I know yeah, what's his name? Turgy Husslin sounds me sure to not fucking deep whose dad On people So I gotta get back to the story. I got hear this so yeah, the next day I'll hang sorry, remember you said don't eat the mic All right, so so you're in the You take them all out to Popeyes everybody gets like a number six. You eat your food

I got a whole family meal. Okay, so you go back and you load up the house them load up the house Begos end of the hotel. We all load up the house. What time is this? Now it's like 7 30 maybe 730. So you do this in an hour and a half. So it's dark. It's dark. We probably finish around I guess eight. I'm probably finish around eight. Okay. So where is B with the baby? Oh, it's what happened. She went to the hotel already. So she's down at the Hilton. Watching the episode. Yeah. Right. She's in the hall. She's taking a bath. We'll be able to see if she's rubbing one out. Right. Really stressful day of fucking moving a baby around. Just think about just very stressful

Possibly movers. Yeah, you don't think Jesus. Why are you being passive against a chick? Anyway? What the fuck are you doing so? No, no, no, no, no, no You don't think it's stressful to deal with a kid all day deal with a kid every day. Welcome to my life What? Hey, welcome to my life What? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da up and then so we want you to that I go to the hotel hmm we hang out what do you do with the guys we're the guys the guys I pay them to go on wine in the hotel yeah where'd you get that a wine store so you went and bought wine you're gonna get wine I don't I can't I mean what's founded by a lake yeah but does your wine have a handle on it's like a finger holder that's good why can you give him the fucking bomb it I don't even know what he's going for so this might be

a problem this might be a problem that was a good fucking a wine with a handle that's a good one. Can you give him the fucking bomb? I don't even know what he's going for. So this might be a problem. This might be a problem That was a good fucking a wine with a handle. That's a good one. That's a fucking That's not the problem. Rossi's good one. Yeah, my grandma used to drink But there's only one I'm good wine. Hey, I'm not in the amount of the park today But I'm fucking swinging and you cock suckers. Dan, you know what? I'd rather take the bandana than you have fucking just Saying it was a good one without even laughing now. Why are you the best for grass? You know what? I'd rather take the bandana than you're fucking just saying it was a good one without even laughing. Now Why are you the best for Gremma? You know what? Because you had no seasoning on it Just because it's a plain ass joke. Don't try it. And then this gumbah says that it's good wine because it's Carla Rossi

Gwambod Gregor the time. Yeah, you're getting his head now. We have to do a 75 characters over the next hour Now we're gonna have to deal with 75 characters over the next hour The challenge him to fucking be funny here and every three minutes we're gonna have like Ah, yeah fucking my T. I like the pirate what do you do? I don't know I'm not getting baited into it. Yeah, just let him sit in the pocket and have some jokes Alexis Williams over here. I like fucking first of all I'm if I like his characters Thanks, dude.

And they're very funny and fun to listen to. And I've liked them from day one. Even when Derosa tried to bully me out of this, I'll tell you this, Dan Soda's character. It's true. You want to talk about day one. I'll go back to fucking 89, sitting in his dumb fucking apartment

that has eight bedrooms and no windows that he still lives in, even though he makes $375,000 a month. You may have a new window. I do. Soda was like, that has eight bedrooms and no windows that he still lives in, even though he makes $375,000 a month. And he has no window. So does he smoke and pot and soda's over here doing like a pitch perfect pirate and then goes into an Indian.

And I'm like, you gotta do these. You'll be a millionaire, you fucking them run. He goes, well, I don't wanna be a hack that does voices. That's true. And I fucking shook him by the collar. And now look at him. Be a hack. I should be a fucking hack man.

I convince him to be a hack and now I don't get any money from it. It's working out pretty well. Ladies, ladies, I look beautiful to them. But I'll clap it up for yourselves ladies. I have one last thing. I'm still a Popeyes in the store. I have you, buddy. I'm going back to that.

I'm going. You're a problem, I think. And we saw a little snug of it. Wouldn't you say, Bobby? you think that you're the only one struggling or suffering. You go, oh yeah, I'm moving, it's raining, I got to buy Chipotle, oh chicken, whatever the fuck, bullshit.

And you've been lying to your wife down here. She's taking care of the baby. It's also raining for her. And you don't go, she's struggling too. This is difficult. It's just you having a tough time. And she's got it easy with her feet up at the Hilton. He self-centered. She literally had her feet up at the Hilton

You're yeah, he was literally had her feet up at the Hilton though, you know what though? Yeah, but she's supposed to have her feet up in her own house. That's your queen Don't that's your job. That's the man of the house. She's a queen so that your queen and your child is in the Murder my fucking landlord. So to act out a queen, please That's it. I'm the queen of news It's more of a kelvin. She's not supposed to be down in a hotel She's like I need you lifting boxes out in the rain So lift the box and the kid I want wine. I have the taste for wine

The next day we're supposed to move in at one. Mm- like we need to uh, we need the paint. Did she drink wine with you? Yeah. So you got a little you tied one on? Look a little buzzy Did you get a little buzzy? Did you get high before you went back to the hotel? Yeah, of course you did. So you're a stoner now. We can just say that about yeah, I'm just a stoner. You're just a fucking stoner. Yeah, okay So as long as you admit it, I hate fucking guys. Well, no, I was fighting a little bit. you're just a fucking stoner. Yeah, okay, so as long as you admit it I hate fucking guys, well not a little bit now you just a pot head can I say this is the only thing I am I am a pot head, but I'm many other things great great dad I think we know about you, but also this is a matter of perspective because you're going You know the blah blah blah and she's down there, but she might be sitting there going

I'm watching the baby all day Lewis is getting high and hanging out with his friends Poppies chicken and eating fucking poppies with his buddy.. She had Popeyes too. Yeah, but of course she did. She's fucking hungry. She's like he's doing his thing. I'm just saying he's a queen right then. Yep. I'm just saying there's two perspectives. So here's the big. So you go back down you drink some wine. Do you guys fool around a little? Do you get a little bit? What's going on bro? The baby's sleeping next to us. All right. That's hot blow job in a tub. No, she hates him. That's what GoPro why would you say that? Why you got a good relationship? What are you talked to her?

Maybe you have a good relationship. Bro, I bet on the phone with her, bro. I don't mean we so happy if she's cheating on those fucking stuff. Oh, what I fucking love life. If I What gate would be open? If I'm walking down, be talking about it. I'm not going to be talking about it. I'm not going to be talking about it. I'm not going to be talking

about it. I'm not going to be talking about it. I'm not going to be talking about it. I'm not going to be talking about it. I'm not going to be talking

about it. I'm not going to be talking about it. I'm not going to be talking about it. I'm not going to be talking about it. I'm not going to be talking

about it. I'm not going to be talking about it. I'm not going to be talking about it. like that. She's showing him sketches she's done. He's like, he's like, he's like, stop us buying jokes from B. He goes, these are, these are really good. These are really good sketches. What do you think about these sketch ideas, B? Do you think Bobby's mad at me? I think she caused him up, you know, he's, he did it again. He's like, you got it. Look, he loves you. He's trying to give her a look, but he doesn't want to, let me go outside more quick. What do you think? I don't know my mom. I'm going outside. Mom, dude, mom, put my pork chops in the microwave. I told him.

I'm a John. And then a few weeks later, he's like, I fucked up Bobby. I fucked up big time. I never should have started in with this broad. All right, so you go back to the hotel. You wake up the next day. What happens? So we're supposed to be back there.

So they're supposed to be the psycho-bobbing shit that you do before you murder a whole fucking room. Do you see that? I'm gonna pay that is I see that I used to do that one in my elementary I'm rocking I'm rocking you can look it up rocking is a sign of mental illness through it is a fucking you know what dude If people who do this are mentally ill or they're reading the fucking rock He makes you crazy. I don't want to be saying By the way Louis has never murdered a room. He's done all right a couple times But it was at LOL. Okay, so go ahead next day. So we're supposed to get back at one We I tell her I call the landlord up. Oh, so go we'll back at three They're supposed to paint and then we're supposed to come in and they're supposed to clean up all the shit

Yeah, because we brought all of our shit into like dust everywhere, right? So all of our fronters in this dusty apartment So we get there at one. They're still not fucking done. Really ghetto fucking construction guys that she hired from like the neighborhood. Right. One of the guys they're finished. He's like, oh, he was like, oh, finally, uh, he was scopo.

He was like, oh, finally, bro. Um, no, I didn't help you this time. It was the last seven times. There was a ghetto guy and he was like, uh, oh shit. So what really doesn't like you today? Go ahead. So he's like, uh, he's like, you'll have to wait for this all day and he pulls out a flask

and starts drinking in my living room. Right. In front of my baby. And I'm sitting there, he's like, isn't my house right now? He's drinking. So they go to leave and I'm just kinda like, oh, it's a nightmare.

Dude, the police spells a paint. They're still saw dust everywhere or like drywall shit. Yeah. So dust. We start. We start drywall shit. Yeah. So dust. We. Regular dust. We start.

Don't be specific. We start Pacific. We start looking at the ceilings. And they're still cracking. Oh my god. Oh my god. They're still fucking cracking. It is.

Yeah. At this point, I would like to introduce my third segment, Louis J. Gomez, Homer Per. Here we go. Let me get a little music. I would like to introduce my third segment Lewis J Gomez home repair here. We're gonna let music Time to repair with Lewis J I was Sponsored by Benford. No, I fucked so do all up now So there's not so You took away his character confidence you fucking asshole

Sores, no, sores. You took away, you took away his character confidence, you fucking asshole. Sores, no, sores. Sores, no, sores. He who give us can take us away. Look at me, look at me, stay with me, soda, Danny. Look at me, look at me, stay with me, ready? Stop it, I mean it.

Stop it, I mean it. Everybody like a female. Ha ha ha ha. It's bad, it's bad. Yeah, it's bad, it's bad. I'm gonna set up a mature. All right. I really want to do a black voice for that guy drinking out of the flask because there was so much ground in the body. Let's get in it.

Lewis is going to be doing segments. We're all going to be on our best performances here. We are going to have to really. I'm going to set up, guys. You guys can do the punches. So anyways, back to beat cheating on you with scopo. No, that's a what we're passing. Nope, okay.

That's not true. You eating chicken like a savage. I'm a late person. Oh! Pass. Pass that. You said savage. Yeah.

Oh, no, that's an old thing. And only Lewis can trick that out. Yeah, we call Lewis. I got happy in that one. Here's the deal. Oh, the savage. I mean, yeah, I've never even got one of the Randy's songs. So the next day, the guy's drinking a flask

in front of your kid. So we get this, you know, I mean, he's probably, you know, he's gonna smell you and see you smoking weed his whole life. I don't know why a flask is throwing you off. I didn't really care the much. I didn't hit it. Look, here's the thing, in reality, I get it.

She's hiring a lot of us. The fourth dimension. And the fifth dimension. If I used my, if you use my third eye. No, let's go back to reality. Good, reality. In reality, I get why she would hire these ghetto fucking guys. Yeah.

You know, I get it. You're going to save a little bit of money. You know, they're nice guys. Maybe who gives shit? I just get a guy smoke pot. Who cares? You know? So they leave, we start looking, we start to see cracking in the ceiling again. God damn it.

So I'm like, holy shit, so I call her up. She's like, yeah, we're gonna have to come in and redo the ceiling. You guys are gonna have to leave for another day and then another day to come back and paint. Okay. So, no point, she doesn't even say I'm sorry yet. Why is this happening? I don't know. Do you understand?

We, we suddenly, there was no talk of there being any construction. But no, but no, did they say why it's cracking again? No. That's it she hired fucking animals from the neighborhood to do the fucking job that they're doing now their animals Yeah, it's guys are hardworking dude. No, and the one of them tells me he's like he's like yeah Man, don't matter her because because by the way we weren't even that mad We were actually pretty cool about it considering the fact that we're going through all the shit We didn't I don't lose my cool. I look I'm Puerto Ricanican. So my instinct was like, I'm gonna kick that out of this place.

I try to like really be, we get it. Ha ha ha. Here, Puerto Rican. Yeah, okay. Stop being an Acro Verre. We get it. You Spanish. Spanish people are weird, because we look at this like this.

What happened? What happened? What happened? Do you guys want to keep on going with this thing? I mean, we're trying to pick it up, because you're fucking retelling of the story is awful in reality everyone keeps on fucking stopping the story I'll go back to you calling black people animals. Hey, all right. So so what did this guy say? I did not mean it that way. What did this guy say to you?

You're on camera. I mean, I'm sorry. Listen, hey So what does guy say What the landlord? No, the guy just said why are you so mad? Oh, he was like you know Don't be mad. Uh, the last guys she hired stole all of her tools So that's why this got pushed back so that she had to hire us to get it to come and finish the job. Okay So if this guy's telling me this I'm like dude. Oh fucking okay. Okay, so now you're out of the thing again Okay, so no, I'm not a thing again

So I tell her I was like this is is, I was like, look, I'm pretty upset here. I was like, you haven't even said I'm sorry. And over and over again, now you're telling us to have to do more construction, get all of our stuff covered in dust and sand. Then paint, we have to be out of the house into the two full days. I was like, this is kind of being crazy now.

I was like, what happened with it is, they came and they woke up my baby. They're supposed to like fix the kitchen sink and like put a mailbox on. And they came and they woke up the baby. They left and they came back. kitchen sink and like put a mailbox on. And they came and they woke up the baby. They left and they came back. And that was my last thing. I was like, they come back.

They wake up my Katie. You have these guys coming into my house. Obviously, our professional contractors. I was like, at what point is enough enough? I was like, we're five days into this fucking, I didn't even curse. I was like, we're five days into this. And I was like, it is just non-stop us having

to deal with the brunt of this. And you have a very boss a whatever attitude So not me heart I said blas a yeah, okay, I just broke French this bitch. He's the mayor, right? Plaza all right, go ahead. So what happened? So she ends up writing me a thing being like you know if you want if you want out of your lease She wrote a letter. I'm sorry. I'm kidding dude. I'm kidding. She want me a text in I'm literally gonna peg this at your fucking head. I swear I'm gonna fist bite you. You're gonna have a big red patch across your face with the last day of the show. I was Lewis. We want to hear the legalities. Please continue. Continue with theater. Oh, if you could you read me the second clause? I would like

the nuances and chapter The writer to you least you know, batham in 1962 they passed the civics right Renters agreement which means technically at this point. I'm allotted what happened So what I ran out of really I just watched Dan run out of real estate But I'm not gonna. I Wasn't that media of a premise. Here's a deal. You give her this big long fucking Lewis J Gomez pitch. She used all the big words. Yeah. You taught you say you're white, right? You say you try. Yeah. She say you tell you are as you pronounce things correctly.

Yeah. Show her that you well read almost. Yep. And what happens? She texted me saying, if you guys want out of your lease, you guys can get out of your lease word you guys can get out of your lease. Word? Yeah, let's get your lease. Wow. Yep, but that's not what you wanted. We wanted her to be slightly apologetic.

You said, we didn't want her to call you bluff. You wanted her to say, you wanted her to say, sorry, I fucked up. You didn't want her to get the fuck out. She didn't think of the fuck out. She said, basically she's going, look, take your shit and leave. I'll leave somebody else

She's like that's like a hot chick move that's you she said you want to break up with me fucking break up Yeah, so she basically so then so okay, what happens so then I told her I was like yeah, we will break our leads I was like really yeah, I was like we will I was like we expect you to pay for the move to the next apartment Oh, I expect our security deposit back immediately You have a lawyer on I have two lawyers you have two what they are both girlfriends of comics that I know to pause it back immediately. You have a lawyer on retainer. Two lawyers. You have two lawyers. They are both girlfriends of comics that I know.

Okay, so you have two lawyers to fucking sue this bitch. So, end of the mic. How did she respond to this? So I said I need the budget to move for the next move. I said I need my security deposit back right away. And I said if we move before, Jinger refers, we need the pro-rated back, amount back for the rest of the month.

Right. She said no, I don't accept those terms. Okay, okay? This is getting some juicy legal I'm gonna go outside to the man on the street with the people. What do you got out there? Right now is in the wrong this lady's just trying to approve the place he lives I don't let a Puerto Rican's in my apartment I like the way he stands and up from South in his family. This is Christmas time people should I'm empathy for people we should all love each other and help each other out It's not dumb dumb dumb. I'm gay I'm a gay man

I'm hiding here At the courtroom. Okay, go ahead. Good. So what happened? So she saw you bluff. No, see that. And she says that. And I basically look, we're both, here's a truth. Where is that evidence been alive? By the way, this is good for your legal counsel to broadcast. This is the truth. I don't give a shit.

This is what you want to do. I can't. In reality, this is the truth. In reality, you have fourth dimension lies. By the way, if we're lawyer, fucking pulls this up and it just has you saying, sand and word, you're done. It's over, you lose. Yeah, she's Filipino. Oh.

Doesn't matter. That's half Asian, half Spanish. Incredible workers. All right, go ahead. Hold it, I call them rice niggers. Wow. Come on. You got to stop.

You have to name the podcast. Half the stop. That's a good name for the podcast. Call them rice niggas You gotta stop you have to name the podcast Just kidding you are never getting Spanish. I'm allowed to say Yes, I Bro You can be talking to you about almond Words here's a deal next time you're in some show and you call me, hey bro, you know that episode? No, I made you take a video of me sucking your fake cock down

in front of a crowd when it cheered me on. That was a little extreme. That's less than, I think. That was some of the accused. That was like the accused. I was cheering Lewis. First of all, I'm doing this for success. Bobby, you throw it right in front of a crowd.

Yeah, we had to take that down. First of all, I didn't do anything. You Bob, you throw it right in front of a crowd. Yeah, we had to take that down. Oh, first of all, I didn't do anything. You went hard on that. You sucked my deck. Yeah, dude, you got it. I was drunk. I, all by every legal standard, I was drunk. Yeah.

You were in a position of power over me. Yeah, you built up me in me. You're in a position of power. You're a fucking comic that looks up to him respect. Everyone's cheering me on. I didn't know how to get up and put your hands up. I didn't know I was going on here. All the takes for lose is to respect somebody and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up.

I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up.

I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know how to get up and put your hands up. I don't know. All right, so here's the deal. So now. By the way, that is a good point though. I was genuinely drunk. I was. You aren't genuinely in a position of power. I'm not going to lie. If I was a woman, they would literally, they would make that into a thing.

No, there'd be big evidence. Yeah, there's video evidence. Yeah. If you're reaching, you stuck your hands between my hands. Yeah, the video evidence and I give a great hummer. Anyway, I can't move it. You really do, bro. Unreal.

You suck dick the way I like I know I said I said I said give me the chair. You're like, dude I'm not gonna sit on like it's not for you. I was enough for you to sit on I was like put your leg up He took it put my leg up. I was like oh my god. This is a better way to hear it. It's like seeing a love from a past life in a different body No, all right. I was you with that person and you weren't here now. I was damn it. I die. What the fuck? How do you go? I'm jumping like that. Like your dog. I'm kidding. Everyone. Well, you already dropped the fucking R N word. Dude. All right. I'm wearing board. I'm gonna call your landlord personally and tell her I got a lawyer to counteract this. Hey, so yeah, so what happened?

So now we're kind of in a sand still. You're right, a sand still. And I'm still in the place. Yeah, we, are the ceiling still cracked? Yeah. So you won't let these people into fix it. No, I told them they can't come in.

Why? Because I don't want them to come to places we want to leave. So what are you gonna do? So I think we're just gonna fucking borrow the money from friends and family and just move early and then it's being dead. We're gonna take it on the chin.

That's that. What are you going to do? Here's the option. Or is this bus having a nice side? Yeah, really nice big backyard. Why don't you fucking stay? No, can't let them fix it. Can I tell you why?

I take it on the chin. Why? Because we're not going to be here more than a year. She's not going to end up renewing our lease. I'm not jumping all over the place. Do we want to place for the next three, four years until we want to go fucking buy a place? Okay. That's it. We're not trying to move around Where are you gonna go?

What is coming out this coming up Monday, okay? We already put in an application for another place where one 18th and Stop picking you know You're making feel like I'm a by-tombs diner I'm I'm not sure yeah, yeah, trim them. I pull them out. They hurt. They make me sneeze. All right. Listen, so you're going to you're going to give another place already.

Does it have a backyard? Yeah. And it's on one-eighteenth on the east side of Westside. So you're on the Westside now. Yeah. That's upper west, too. Beautiful. That's nice up there.

Look at it. Where that's at is really actually really nice. We were really cheaper. Very slightly more expensive. It's a little slightly like what what, 25, 50 bucks? No, like 100 bucks. 150 bucks. That's okay though.

You're paying for low-key. No, we were paying less now than we've been paying for the past four years together anyway. I mean, things are breaking. Oh, that was a gun shot. That was a gun shot. That was a gun shot. Was that?

I don't like it. It was not a gun shot. I'm bleeding. Oh, great. Oh, yeah. were shot me that right there shot me I'm on guys give me the bed Dana fuck off give you the bandana why don't we give you a good I don't give you a good Fucking bomb, yeah, bomb wood fucking unbelievable dude. Yeah, I just can't Yeah, dude, I'm just kidding't You just can't, dude. I'm just kidding. You understand? You can't say that about everything. I don't mean to be a real-ass

Prood, but you can't be saying that. You do whatever you want, you little fucking racist. I'm racist. I have been called a nigger of my whole childhood by racist people in my neighborhood. Why can't I say it? Why can other Hispanic people say it, but I can't say it? That's how racism perpetuates. What? Wow. Pupentialates.

Pupentialums. Is your little mouth out of it? I get it. No, not at all. Well, you know, that's how you go. Well, they were racist. Why have you given the ads to read this today? Yeah, I don't do the break.

Okay, what do we got in the chat room? Where are they saying we're going? Lauren Fagodis says, Porter Eekens always have multiple lawyers, but no money. I don't get it She's right. She's right. You're a horror It's not a horror. What's with you? Why can't you just take a hit gotta be great if it was his landlord? I am going to Sue him He is most racist person

He is like a gorilla So it is like half monthly So when in chat rated all the comedians on the show one through five Why gonna read that? No, no, no, fuck you Maybe that's interesting. Yeah, it's interesting to you. You're fucking just do number five anyways. I assume you're not on the list Yeah, yeah, of course Fuck that fucking it's some fucking cut. Yeah rating people here's why list of the top five comedians

Yeah, let's go. I'm not five. I want to know the fucking food place. Oh, uh, go put a great line Yeah, come on black Osbus black Osbus says Tripotle and mega tech guy says a place with a lot of salads So come with says famous original race pizza Uh, where is that by the way every fucking race? It's always the original. Yeah, it's where is it We don't know where that is. I what else? Give me one second Kevin Vosperic says please start the story over using lawyer speak. This was during luis is Thanks K. Vosie the man. I'll see K. Vosie this weekend. I love K. Vosperic says please start the story over using lawyer speak. This was during Lewis's Thanks K. Vosie. You're the man. I'll see K. Vosie this weekend. I love K. Vosie. I'll be in Tampa watching live

He tweeted out me with the picture. Oh great man K. Vosie is the best. Yeah, if you're watching live tweet out the picture from your your Computer iPhone. What are the fuck is it? K. Vosie tweeted the picture your balls. I don't want to picture your balls He's got it is that it? What are you going to do? I'm going to do it for now. So check it out, dude. So you're going to have to move again

and you're going to get all your shit out of there and you'll be fine. Hopefully. What is it? How many times is this this year? This one? I have moved him three times this year. You haven't moved me three times this year.

How many times? I've only moved once. I moved into a sublet. That's not it. It was a furnished sublet. That's not it was a furnace sublet Scobo he thought there was bags in your car It's not back in like you move me into a fucking a new building dude. It was a car. You help be move bags Yeah, I helped be more be moving. I love that movie side felt what's the deal?

I'm gonna keep saying things What did you just get a mood swing you lose your energy? What the fuck are you I'll tell you this right now? I don't know where the magic is but it's lacking guys Come on with that. Well, what the fuck man? What bringing everyone down? I didn't bring everybody down. I didn't bring everybody down with the reason is his is his He hates construction workers. That's not cool. I'm a union guy. Yeah, I'm a union guy Me too, man, it's ag right yeah, yeah, yeah man. All not cool. I'm a union guy. Yeah, I'm a union guy, dude. Me too.

It's Ag, right? Yeah, it's Ag after me. Yeah, man. All right. And I'm a writer's union. I mean, that's WGA, that's awesome. Yeah, man. Yeah, that's cool.

You know what else the bothers me about it? It's like, I just feel like B would be better off with Scopo, you know? Oh, absolutely. They can live in the fucking parent's house. They live in Queens. Yeah, have a car. I just, we'll try what Joe and I can raise First of all, Skopos father, Skopos father would rather have me as a son. I will trade lives with you. I really mean that.

Is that not true? That's one of the meanest things but also hilarious when you say like you're Do we do a house swap me and Skopo for one? Will you like it? I can't be special my dad will like you for like two days And then you don't clean up Listen to me. You're done. I'm gonna gonna be cuckling your mom in front of your dad You say you're gonna fuck his mom Weird, yeah, that's make it Father's gonna be it. He's jerking off. Okay, okay I thought you're getting weird no

Where the cuckle is just such a Overall I'd rate the experience. I like living there. I like the food. Fucking his mom in front of his dad was chill. But I'm ready to go home to my son. I'm like crack ceilings. I hope an old bathtub falls on you while you're sleeping.

You're a crack ceiler. Is this the fucking spider bottom tub? Just, just, just breaks through. It's a spider bottom tub. I was hoping nobody noticed what I just said. You mean it's a paw foot top? You got that one? Now you fucking has that paw foot.

It's not a paw foot. You fucking have to. What is a paw foot top? It's called the Bob Brown. You're a paw foot top. You're a paw foot top. You're a paw foot top. You're a paw foot top.

You're a paw foot top. You're a paw foot top. I think I'm right. Yeah, it's called the paw foot foot. Somebody Google the law foot. No, cloth. It's not cloth. Both of you. The cloth foot is fucking redundant.

It's called a raised tub. Yeah, it's called a puff foot. I think it's a, is it a puff? A puff foot. A puff foot. You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about?

You know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about a puff foot. I'm talking about a puff foot. I'm talking about a puff foot. I'm talking about a puff foot. I'm talking about a puff foot. I'm talking about a puff foot. I'm talking about a puff foot. I'm talking about a puff foot. I'm talking about a puff foot. I'm talking about a puff foot. guys welcome back to public school educated it sounds like you're trying to say profit with a speech impediment Poffer, it's a Poffer to Poffer

we're not gonna make any Poffer Poffer, guys the Poffets are down I'll protect that in 2015 we will be Poffetable I'll put my Poffet down I really know we're rolling I really do look mentally challenged 2015 we will be profitable my pop foot down Now we're rolling I really do look mentally challenged so I'm looking at the video. That's a pop What's that pop? Well, at least it was in a spider foot tub. What the fuck is that spider feet? What the fuck is a spider foot? There were a legs on that top. It was awesome

They have legs on feet. All right, listen, we're gonna take a break. Hopefully, we're gonna chill out, bro. Yeah, hopefully Dan wakes the fuck up. Bro, what did I just do besides doing a hot dunk this energy? Pretty good. I just think I wanna talk about during the break of Lewis's use of the inward. I wanna talk about it.

I don't wanna talk about it on air because it's more serious than that. It's serious. Because hashtag, I can't breathe. Yeah. How about that? I am a minority. Fuck you. I'm gonna say go white people tell me that I can't fucking use whatever. Yeah, you are my not white people. It's the human race. Yeah, it's human saying hey, let's not fucking say talk like that you more as a pure blooded area in warrior. You've got a little white blood in you so be careful.

Yeah and you are a minority. You're the only racist here. Dogged. Alright let's go to prayer. We'll be back. Everybody live in the room. Just stay tuned. We're going to play a little music for you. What song we pick? So royalty free YouTube library music. So, check it out. Enjoy this fucking awesome song. What's the name of the song though? I gave you the name. I'll put the names on the screen. Okay, great. Alright, and we'll be back in around eight and a half minutes. Yep. I check it out everybody at home. DraftKings.com check it out. This the list of millionaires crowned at DraftKings.com, this football season keeps growing. And you could be next. DraftKings is America's favorite one week fantasy football site,

where you can win instant cash every week. It takes, all it takes is this, watching a football game. Oh my God, I'm fucking this up. Totally sorry. You're doing a good job. What's the noise? There's a noise. Is your phone's ringing? Is it my phone? Who is it? It's my wife. Oh God hang on one second

I'm meeting Mike's now. Okay. No, you don't have to mute anything just let everything go. Hello. All right What happened Just saying the same thing you said it's out for delivery. That's all they know they're running behind because of the weather and holidays and packages and Okay, so keep your eye out Yeah, all right here. Okay, all right. I gotta get it's here now No, I said I'm here. Oh, okay. Goodbye Just be a married to feel that tone. Oh God you piece. All right. So what I got I ordered a bidet from UPS You got one. Yeah, you know it when I came when. I ordered a bidet from UPS.

You got one? Yeah, you know it, you know it came? When? Nothing. Nothing came in the box. Are you kidding me? There's nothing came. An empty box.

Is that from them or is that from... I don't know, I think it was home depot. You like my bidet, huh? I didn't get as fancy as you. It's okay, but you like it. What, oh yeah. It's great for you. I'm worried, right?

Yeah, I gotta get it from the fucking hemorrhoid. Fucking great. Anyways, back to draftkings.com. I'm going right to back to the beginning, okay? Here you go. DraftKings, I love the site. For you guys who do the fantasy football site. Okay, it takes watching football to a whole new level. Okay, when you play with DraftKings.com,

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Okay, check it out. I shave my head. I shave my face sometimes my ass and my balls Okay, is there anything worse than that maximum security prison? They have all those razors in at the Dwayne Reed or the right age? You're going to go over there and you're going to stick your hand in that box that gets shut on or you're going to push your button and have someone come over like you're a criminal and take your razors out. It's like visiting somebody in prison.

It's awful. They're behind a display case. You should put your hand up like you're saying I love you to somebody in prison. That's got a little wordy But whatever I just can't stand it. It almost makes me want to buy crappy razors because right on the shelf I get about a gas station. It makes it easy, but not anymore. All right, do it the smarter way get your razors from DollarShaveClub.com just for a couple couple bucks, DollarShaveClub.com delivers amazing razors right to you.

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That's dollarshaveclub.com slash Kelly. Go there right now and get yourself a nice deal. Sign up. Great gift for the holidays. It makes you go to ridecast.com and check out all our amazing shows. We really try to hand pick each show we bring to the network. We have Pete and Sebastian show that's brand new. Fucking awesome, man.

If you wanna listen to two of the funniest, quickest guys, and there's one thing they can tell a story, I've been listening to the show and they just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, itero, who was a great friend and it's a great show. And especially in Alaska, well he's very opinionated, it's great. But all the other shows, Nick Depollos on the network, his fucking show is awesome.

He's got his new hour special coming out on his website. You buy it directly from him, make sure you check that out. And I wanna thank everybody, every single one of you guys that donated to the YKWD GIF tribe. We just got a bunch more presence. We're going to be handing them out this Saturday afternoon over to NAC in New York.

And the next week, we'll go back to Boston. We're going to be giving the gifts over to the NFI shelter care alliance house to the kids over there. Again, the teenage boys, if know, if you wanna buy socks, what are you doing? Settle the fuck down. The umbrella, no. No, you're, I'm in the middle of a read

and you're just not even trying to be quiet. Not even trying. The umbrella, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not that, he noticed it. No, it's him, so he's just right. Buddy, no, no the mics are on so I'm picking up everything you could try to be a little less AP When you come in the room you silver back gorilla I hope you get kicked out of your new new house Anyways, thank you for supporting the children

Did any of you guys buy gifts for the gift drive? What'd you get? 12-inch Marvel action figures. Was that you? Yeah. That was awesome. I was great. What'd you get? I gave a PS1 and an Xbox. We didn't get those. You didn't get them?

Can you get them Playboys, the Teenage Kids? Anyways. I gave them both, dude. You guys are still into doing it. You're into the chat room. Just go to ryecast.com and hit the YKWD gift drive. We'll go to robbercale.com slash gifts right now. Again, that's robbercale live.com slash gifts. And you can buy a gift. Go to that page.

A list of gifts are up there. And mail them, that's it. Go to that page. Pick a gift, teenage boys. There's a bunch of stuff. Pick a gift and then mail to the address we provide. con bolotea la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca espectacularismos, rincones de pelín y la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la gente que se ha estado en la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la zona de la gente que se ha estado en la Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, rincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com Hola, vamos a ver, ¿qué es eso?

¿Qué es eso? ¡Vamos a empezar a ver! ¡Es que me ha cambiado! Me ha cambiado la primera vez, por las 10 lindas. ¡Vamos a ver con el rato de la rase! ¡Vamos a ver! ¿Qué ha pasado? ¿Qué ha pasado?

¿Qué ha pasado? ¿Qué ha pasado? ¿Qué ha pasado? ¿Qué ha pasado? ¿Qué ha pasado? ¿Qué ha pasado? ¿Qué ha pasado? ¿Qué ha pasado? ¿Qué ha pasado? Okay, what's the tomato Joe wasn't bad, but I mean So we're back do you guys have fun smoking pot? Hey, I watched Lewis storm around I always forget what it's like to go in public with Lewis until I'm out in public with Lewis and I'm like, oh god Because he just you're kind of like this way. Hey this way Lewis this way

Yeah, what you are it's like it's just walks wherever he wants to but it's like a fucking being with a And I'm not almost trained. You know what I mean? Like he still has his little rogue personality. I'm not gonna lie kind of thrills me sometimes Like when it rains I shit on the carpet. That's the only time. Yeah Rain it rain honey, you know what happens? No, just put him in the crate Honey you know what happens Go outside. No just put him in the crate Go outside. I'm gonna put outside. No put him in the crate because you put him outside He gets wet and I got a wipe on his paws. If you put him in the crate though the landlord just kick him out

All right, so we're back. I mean what are you doing? I'm drumming. I get excited. I'm gay. Are you a drummer? I can drum really? Of the buddy rich did you watch it? Oh, yeah, not. You watch any of those old buddy rich solos? Holy testicle Tuesday. That guy is unbelievable. Really? Yeah, this is really pushing buddy rich right now. I know, I don't fucking like him pushing something. You're going to play it into the microphone?

No, I don't. This is what he's been doing. It's crazy. This is a new thing. Yeah, I can jump. I'm waiting for a fucking package. UPS comes yesterday. They leave that dumb note on the door.

You know, look man, you know me. You know me. You know me. I just said, how do you? A bunch of times. I know. It's not like I live on 118th Street. I have a backyard with a bench.

Leave the package. You know what says, sign, just leave it. Can I, being the most corporate one on the farm? I mean, tell the story first and then you come in because it's already disagree with you There's more to it. So whatever he leaves He leaves the note the little fucking UPS know which is annoying I go your Bobby your fat lovely Hey tub I take it with me. Why don't you run after the man? You wife's got nice tits love you PS what's this overly disrespectful? What's the PS?

Love you, PS. What comes after that? Joe Stinks. So anyways, I think I've just scripted. That wasn't bad. I love you. Also, it wasn't good. Yes, Joe Stinks. He made it pretty good. Joe? Okay.

No, you got it. No, you got it. That window's gone. I was going to say. So here's a deal. So now I go to UPS. I go down to the place. And I wait in line.

And I give them the thing. And they're like, it's still on the truck. So I'm going to go to UPS. I'm now I go to UPS I go down to the place and I I wait in line and I give them the thing and they're like it's still on the truck You have to come back at 830 to the security window and they will give you your package then 830 at night 830 at night so I wait I wait I wait now you know I'm waiting I'm with the kid and with the fam me and my wife we're gonna watch a movie We got the judge the Robert down in junior Oh Robert DuVon was great. That was awesome. I get it because I'm a member of SAG union

Oh, I get it online because they stream it online. They send them all but they sent why don't I'm Jonah or SAG? I don't get any of you. I've been I've been nominated stupid and gay. What have you been nominated for? I was nominated for two Emmys Oh, yeah, yeah, I belong with 600 other people, but. Yeah. You're Emmy nominated? Emmy? No, no, no, it goes like this. Basically, every show has to pick people for every, like,

okay, we want to nominate. So they, they called me and they were like, we want to nominate you for this episode of Louis. Okay. But if you look at the list, there's 178 people on the list. Yeah. And there's like twenty holy shit Chosen famous people and then they pick four or five of those. Did you get really excited?

Then they said we want to nominate you I Did you cry? Listen to me. No, Fx called me up done. I'm getting down with you. I'm fucking famous. I don't need you Who is this what we talking to in that act out? I know don't it's a done. Oh, um, we'll take the candy out of you mouth get it out of your mouth It's a rickola my throat. I don't give a shit. I don't like fucking candy in the microphone Just one of my love candy and microphone You thought it wouldn't hurt so much if you just spoke like a fucking human also. Yeah, spit it out I don't like I had a rickola dude then leave you know what was that? What are you sucking on? It's a recall I can't send wickola. I'll tell you why ready because that that clicking sound on teeth drives me fucking bad

Yeah, or my second-grade teacher Mrs. McKee What oh I like it. I ate it. It sounds almost like a horse horse. It sounds like dress shoes running up like a the thing Almost like a horse horse. It sounds like dress shoes running up like a the thing I think tap dancing I like it. I hate it. I'm into it. I fuck it This is your show yeah, all right, fuck it you like it. I'll move. I look I'll take it a fucking nice voting Okay, all right. What do you like it? Not really now? Okay, what do you know about democracy? Wait, they're not allowed to vote yet. Yeah, I'm sorry.

His people are burning down a mosque. What the fuck, dawg? What? That was fitted out. A mosque. You must have had a mosque. How were you wanted? You can hear yourself saying it.

And much more. So, I'm fine. Not even the right religion, by the way. So now, I go to this fucking window at 8.30 at night, and I'm waiting and Waiting and waiting and then I tell the world how long actually was the wait 20 minutes. That's a long that's a long wait Right, and there's only two people in front of me. So they're waiting even longer. So now I said I said that she was where do you live? I know sassy black woman. I was a Puerto Rican big big big girl though

You know what I mean? But sassy is that a Puerto Rican? She's a person but she hates everybody there she's like this motherfucker and she's complaining to this other really hot black chick this fuck you know I'm quit this is my I hate this place so now you got to love that New York fucking customer service I'm caught in this fucking weird you know you P.A.s UPS hate triangle late at night shift yeah and I. And I'm like, so she goes, what's your address? I give her a matter of, oh, fuck. Because she's gonna deal with this certain lady

that deals with my circle. Okay. All right, my map. Okay. And so the lady goes, yeah, it's here, but it's on, it got reprocessed so we can't get to it. I go, wait a minute. I came back here, you delivered it, didn't drop it off.

I came here, you said come back now. I'm here now. It's here, but you can't go get it. No. I'm like it's in the building, but you can't go fucking walk and get it. You can't curse. I didn't curse. I'm cursing now. So I go, I go, you can't curse on this show anymore. We had instant with Lewis earlier So I bummed everybody out. So then I go I go I Paid to have the package. I'm here twice She goes it doesn't matter. I can't go get it So she the lead girl told me that when she up the phone she goes that bitch she could get it She could she doesn't she passed the buck Yeah, my god dude those are can end night show my line movie. But I was so mad.

I'm like, I'm like, I don't. I don't. I don't. But here's, here's the thing. I'm so fucking mad. I'm coming home. I had the argument with the lady in the car full throttle. Oh, fake argument.

But I'm talking. That's the thing alcohol is. I was fucking going, you fucking go get the fucking package Yeah, I'm paid for something you fucking get it. I do that. I deserve one and literally I caught myself when I went I started laughing Oh my god, I'm fucking insane. I'm fucking nuts. You got a you got a shower argument. What a shower argument? Yeah in the car Yeah, yeah, you can do you can do shower arguments anywhere But that is the best place to do them is in the shower with the water coming in your face.

And you're like, you replay instances from like seventh grade. We're like, yeah, I did buy these jeans at Target. But you know something else, and you got a Zing loaded. Yeah, I'm gonna replay Chris asked me to do this podcast and be like, nah. Okay, that was kind of mean. Yeah, well, we're gonna replay it when you do that and go, yay!

Yeah, he said no. We're gonna replay it and you don't blink as much. See, I can be mean too, Joe. Yeah, I'm we're gonna replay it when you do that and go yay. Yeah, he said no We're gonna replay it and you don't blink as much see I can be mean to Joe. Yeah, I'm not being mean That was a mean thing to say oh shut up. You little pot face You know the door I mean the you you Sorry, it wasn't the most of me. This is the problem. You should have opened with the UPS story And then I should have we should have ended with my life deconstructing in front of Everybody's eyes. Yeah, there's a deal you went out guys. Well, this is the problem when you fucking stoners

You went out and got stoned and now you're just staring at me. I'm bringing it. I know Not but he's looking at me like he's in another planet right now like my eyes are doing weird shit I'm I did you really I just noticed now how little hair you have on you It's just these little fucking sprouts of eyebrows. That's what we do. That's the only way a person faces it. Anywhere on you, dude. And then the knuckles of your feet,

because I did have to touch them. Louis. You had a little bit of hair on your feet, knuckles. I don't. That was three years ago. Hey, do we still have those days? Are we doing fucking Yankee Swap? Yeah, we are.

Fuck you, I don't. Am I not invited? Yeah, you're invited, dude. Next week, bro. When is it? Fuck is your sweet stop? When Yankee Swap., we are fuck yeah, today am I not invited? Yeah, you're invited next week, bro When is it fucking just we stop when when they're gonna swap they didn't email me? Um, I was gonna do it after Before Christmas, maybe next week Yeah, but I gotta get a time where every I want to do it at day or night where everybody can come

But the real scoop on zoo expire Oh, shit, Oh, shit. I don't want my backpack with me. I got to get to use these real ass coupons. They're at the end of the show at the, they, they, they're done. Oh. So you can bring them in to the show. Oh, I'm going to machine gun this month.

Oh, yes. I am laying down. I shouldn't have said anything. So you're not, you realize I have a combined 30 minutes of you being silent on that clock. You're fucking done. You get to use them. I'm at the end of the show though, it's done.

It's a wrap. Okay. So, okay. Please, can we give him 20 more real-ass coupons? Maybe we can force a special episode where I can drop, just let's just set up an episode I can just drop them on them. Because I don't want to. Well, we can set up the episode before we can do like a 20 minute or half hour.

Oh, we're fun. We just drop it on him I was that so Yankee swap will be next week at some time. We'll work it out. Are you out of town? I'm in town all next week, baby. I'm wide open Yeah, I'm in town. I leave yeah week from Sunday Monday would be best for what I mean, of course you're in town I'm going out of town a lot coming up. I got some gigs. Yeah, you just cancel the gig on me. I'm sorry dude No dude, it's fine. No, I would never get a better gig. Yeah, I needed the money. That's great I would rather just be in town and do the gig with you right right now. That's right. I'll take it Dude my my dream. I love when you guys fucking have to not work with me

No, I love work away. We got a great one coming up. That means you're gonna be making some more money So good to you. Yeah, we got a sick gig. You list the night. Two weeks, right? Yeah, the 19th. What? No, no way. Oh, please, then you can step in and make his money. I would love that.

No, I'm just kidding. I just did that. That's awesome, dude. The paramount. What you doing? I'm here for the towel. Yeah, so yeah, we're doing that. The 19th, me, Dan and Joe list, and a lot of people are coming.

How are we getting there? Because that day, I have an afternoon show at Carolyn's. Do you really? At three o'clock. Why don't you just take the train out? I thought we were are we getting there because that day I have an afternoon show at Caroline's do you really at three o'clock I want you to take the train out. I thought we were gonna take it Joe. Oh, yeah, bro Merry Christmas, dude Yeah, dog thanks wait, I gotta put this in for Yankee swap next week So would you might get the ticket? That's actually I swear to God. That's what I should use for Yankee swap They take my ticket so I can take my ticket going to what if I did what if I did a mega millions and it won for Yankee how much would you fucking just put a knife in the neck of me if I got That ticket I'd be happy I'd be you know what I before your kid and your wife that they wouldn't have to grow up fucking

Moving around so much. Joe. That's for you buddy. Thanks pal. I appreciate it Valid through December 4th 2014 right to hunting then I do you guys want to do any more fucking weird shit during the show what giving each other stuff i'm sorry to you that we're weird this is giving stupid shit you do when you smoke a cigarette getting high i don't smoke cigarettes or get high i appreciate the fucking train ticket bro that was really thoughtful yeah about time someone does something thoughtful for me around here

i want to go to the latest chat not your chats the latest one uh... the latest uh... comment is loren vagodis says I just went back and listen to that Episode where he gave the coupons. I was wondering when he was going to use those yeah, it made me miss Kelly. Oh, I miss Kelly. You don't miss Kelly. Yeah, totally. I Missed her one time with a baseball when I threw it at her head. I liked it. Added the effects. So terrible. Come on, I got it. Here's the thing, if you don't want to laugh, you're not going to laugh. From yours.

Uh, Wanna Go Ride Bikes says, I wish Bobby would grow a beard. He looks like a huge baby. I grow a beard, I look worse. Really? Yeah, I look like the fucking Butler on Jesse. What's Jesse? What's Jesse?

I'll show Jesse. If you ever kid you know. By the way, Dan Lody. Dan's fucking instinct is to be a phony and just laugh at anything you say. Oh my god, why would you say that? Did you see that, though? When he said Butler, I was like, this is gonna be good.

I was imagining him as fucking the Dom Deloise looking motherfucker, making me chuckle. Then he said Jesse, you know, hit the break. I was like, I don't know where he's going. Do you really think Dan's a fucking piece of shit? Not a piece shit, look at the fucking corporate phony. Really? A phony, you usually look like a phony. You think Dan's a fucking piece of shit? Not a piece shit, look at a fucking corporate phony. Really? A phony, you usually know where.

You think I'm a phony? You think Dan's a phony? His head is phone shaped like the old phony. That's a terrible joke to get out of this argument. I love you, Dan. I was just certain shit up. You know what? His head is shaped like the first phony.

I was the size of my fucking apartment. I would say I take your phony and I switch it with a positive. Huh? Yeah, the big head. He said a bad joke. joke you have a big head you have dirty knuckles like a mechanic No, I don't I want to get to this with Lewis because this is a problem this this bleach is beyond podcast This goes to friendship. Yeah, what if you think I'm phony yeah, not phony Now you're being phony. Yeah, you've called them phony a couple times today today because I was laughing at the imagery He was putting in my head with him being a fat butler with a beard. You never said anything about being fat I don't grab it like it's just what you know what I didn't say fat

Don't just do this against me. That's fucking you what the fuck bigger I'm big bone butter Like a fucking dinosaur Nice and Dom Delewese earlier and you didn't flip out about that Dom Delewese is a genius Alright well a bearded Dom Delewese type it started making me laugh He said Jesse and I bolted out if I would have gone along with it and act like I knew what you would have been Kelly Vistuka that is true, yeah, but I don't like this because you're my friend. I'm sorry Dan, I apologize.

And I wouldn't say Fone I would say I have a positive, I thought it was gonna go somewhere that I knew. So I started with the imagery and then I pulled the break. How do I have references I don't get all the time? Thank you, Joe. That's because you're a Fone. That's because you're a funny deliver, you're a funny guy.

What do the way you tell your story? It's funny. It's funny, like how? I'm usually funny. That's the way you tell the story. Like how though, It's funny. It's funny, you like how? I am usually funny. It's the way you tell the story. Like how though, like how like a like a Maclown? You know what I mean? No, I don't know what you mean.

What the fuck do you mean? Like a Maclown? Here's the same voice Joe Pesci. Nobody's ever pointed his out before. That'd be great if he was like, By the way, speaking of Joe Pesci, he's just unzippers his face. He's like, That was good. We're back together. We're back. It takes off its unzippers in space. He's like, hmm.

That was good. We're back together. We're back. Neon Lewis are fine again. We just have to work through some stuff. We've got a relationship, has communication. We're going to do a new part called the news. Scope, go ahead.

Uh, the news. We need music and we need a sound effect. You need no music. You need to leave them out on that cliff. I don't even know what's in the news right now. Do you know what's going on in the news? Oh yeah. You're not talking to Dan.

Yes I do. What's going on in the news? I read the Daily Beast every day. What is going on? Currently. I read the rapestory in Rolling Stone. How about that news? Well they got retracted.

I read it and here's the thing. The journalist that wrote the story didn't contact the people that accused the woman. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, she was afraid of retaliation. And now this whole shit storm is Kurt Metzger at the best point, he always makes the best points on Facebook. Why is Kurt Metzger?

He's fucking right at this. Why is he so fucking amazing at his opinion and writing down and being funny and poignant at the same time. I read his shit and I'm like, why is this guy not more famous or have his own show? Or, I mean, what the fuck is going on with Kurt Metzger? He is one of the fucking smartest, funniest guys out there. And the shit that he puts on Facebook is always like, you're always like laughing. And then you're like, yeah, that's a good point.

And sometimes you're like, yeah, that's a good point And sometimes you're like that's clearly so yeah, I'm at all. I mean I read his stuff sometimes and I'm like, oh my god This guy is fucking amazing like why is he not More he's yeah, he's ugly. Yeah, is that it? Hey, he pushes the envelope Like Bert and Ernie. Yeah, dude. He's an ugly person and he's not likeable. He's not that ugly He's unlikeable. He's unlikeable. He's got love. He's ugly. I'm dying dies. I think he's got great eyes He's got nice lips. No, his nose is his nostrils are the size of a coke can dude. They're huge He's went from loving curts of shitting on the ugly person. He's so fun. I'm saying He's one of my favorite comics in the world, but he's not ugly

He's literally one of the ugliest human beings ever, but he's not ugly. He's literally what the ugly is human He's the best ugly comic there is 100% I disagree that is a very true. That's a good one best ugly comic. I disagree I disagree. I think Kurt is not ugly. I don't think he's ugly. I think he's got great eyes. I think he's got I Think he's the problem as you can see them from 500 miles away. I think he's good, good eyes. He's got serial killer face and he's tall and he's scary. So that's why people aren't like giving him a TV show, but he will do. He'll be, because he's, he's like a comics comic, every comic thinks he's the best.

And he's an Emmy nominated award writer, guy. What? Something. Don't just have a stroke. Guys. Oh God, his's left side of his face. What rape was he talking about? No, he was talking about the Rolling Stone article that got retracted and he just had a rape.

What was that? A woman at the University of Virginia claimed that she was gang raped by a specific fraternity or freshman year. Turns out they did some investigation and the journalist never contacted the accused, the person that she was accusing of raping her and then they contacted the fraternity and the fraternity provided information that made Rolling Stone want to retract that article saying that they hadn't done their full investigation and that there was faulty information. It was just terrible journalism. Yeah,

because you're not that that's what journalism is. Not supposed to just tell a story from one person's perspective. And if you do, should at least have like an aspect being like, this is a completely one-sided story. Well, well, the knee-jerk reaction to not and victim blame was the issue. And you never want to, and that's what, there's this culture of like, well, if a woman says,

and I, you know, before we talked about, you know, the, the white kid, we need to show where I suck your dick. I was being kind of serious about that. If that was a woman, you can't point out the fact that like, no, you were just kind of like an asshole that night. You, it would get turned around on the guy. That was an asshole. No, no, me. As, as, as if I was a woman, it was

me being an asshole, woman or man, I was being an asshole that night. But if I was drinking in your guy in position of power and I was a woman, there was people cheering us on. And I wanted to play it that way, you can never call me the asshole in that situation. You can't see. I think your money and the waters are there because I think a lot of victims. There's a lot more women that are sexually assaulted that don't come out than this story. This is always the fallback story.

Anyways, this is getting away from the point. The point that Kurt made that I thought was hilarious was he made front of all the like the Jezebels and the salons for being upset that an actual rape didn't happen right like that was his opinion which was fucking hilarious he's like you know in his post is like you guys are upset that a rape didn't happen like this woman wasn't raped that's a good thing well here's the thing i think that she was why cuz she bumped into friends that night in the article

she claimed that she was uh... like shoved into a pitch black room Which I said this when I first read the article She's like into a pitch black room, but then she identifies exactly how many guys are in the room and then two of their Who people are so I'm like well, how is it pitch black? What do you know? But your eyes adjust like a cat? I guess so so that's why pirates were one patch because when they have to go underneath They take the patch off very that's true actually were one patch because when they have to go underneath they take the patch off very That's true actually and then they can see underneath Like lose a snapple facts. All right. Did you know pirates actually were the patch not because they're missing an eye?

Yeah, fun fact after the break. It's because they would keep one eye ready for the darkness at all times You fucking me. What do you know? I wasn't that they got it carved out by another part Yeah, and they have they have peg legs so Lewis will believe them when somebody tells him a story about why they have peg legs. That was a very, you just came, it's just basically an outline of the joke you were gonna, you just didn't do it, you were like, and the joke is peg legs, Lewis believes peg legs. Actually, you pitched a joke.

Yeah, I took along these lines, we might go into it. Some detail. I'm thinking the joke is another reference. That's the rudest thing you can do. I'm sorry, my baby sister. Yeah, sister baby. I know.

What do you want to say? I don't know. Did we get to hang out with a baby soon? That's pretty fun. You're like this. I have to do a fucking difficult podcast. Well she just gets to drive around in New York City in the out with a baby soon? That's pretty fun. You're like this. I have to do a fucking difficult podcast Well, she just gets to drive around in New York City in the rain with a baby crying And I'll I have to sit up here and have a

Fairly clever observation every fucking 30 minutes stoned with my friends. It's really difficult. Yeah Anyways, I like the way Joe's dressed today. He looks like a meteorologist that's just about to give up or a geologist damn it. Wow You why'd you come either one of those made sense? Geologist is funny because he's holding the pencil. No, I'm not dressed with a pencil. I'm holding a pencil You're like I like the way he's dressed holding a pencil. I'm trying to build my buddy. Luah Let me just get undressed. Are you in Lewis Best Friends? No, he's one of my close friends. I just thought that would you quickly say like that?

You can't name him. I feel like you were my best friend for him. I thought you were my close friends. He did say you are his best friend. That's right. That's where I got that from. I thought it was you. I thought, I don't know.

You can't. Just like Rolling Stone, can I retract? No, you can't. I actually, you said Dan was your best friend. My best friend? And Nate Bargazzi too said Dan was your best friend my best and Nate bargazzi, too Nate is your best friend too actually neither of them are best friends Best friend your hoodie strings it too long me and the smith have been friends before we did comedy were front We were roommates before we ever do the question yesterday. I know

Is he your best friend. Yeah, it's my best friend. So when you said Dan was your best friend I said Dan's one of my best friends. He's well, you can only have one best friend. Yeah, he's my best friend. So when you said Dan, would your best friend, you said Dan's one of my best friends. He's you can only have one best friend. That's see, that's why I corrected myself. There's one best friend. And that's why it's best friends. Who's your best friend? My best friend is Nate.

So I disagree. What's the first? What's your best friend? Yes. Nate's my son's godfather. What's this one best friend? I'm Gary. I'm Gary.

He's a best man. Do you know that? Who's your best friend number one best friend I don't I don't want to I see I could answer that question for you my friends Derek and Seattle probably Derek but that jacanter's very close with Derek and Joe why do you have Derek and Seattle when he grow up like how it's turned I like the call Derek and Seattle my best friend I don't think I've ever met a Derek that I've liked Except for Derek gains. Oh, you fucking followed up with another stanker, huh?

And you said that I'm an asshole because I know a director friends with who's the best who this was hoping for such a reaction My buddy Phil your buddy Phil. Yeah, buddy. Your best friend is a buddy. Scott Bo, I'll meet you down at Sully's pop. How can your buddy feel the best if we've never heard of this guy? That's what you mean, he's the cop. I talk about it. I didn't even know your friends with a cop. I didn't hear you.

I've never heard you talk. Oh yeah. First of all, it's Scott Bo's fucking mentor. Scott Bo's gonna be a cop in three years guaranteed. Who? Let's hope. We know firefighter. And you're gonna be in jail, so.

Yeah. Who's your best friend, Deep Hood? Besides a computer. We know firefighter and you're gonna be in jail. So yeah Who's your best friend deput besides a computer? I honestly I'd star wars. I honestly do not have a best friend right now Will provide me the best friend can I apply? Yeah, I mean, oh You know, you know, you know, you know, it's bring a razor and then people let you do his life No, he's here. He doesn't shave Dude this he doesn't shave. I got to find a chainsaw first

I go back to switch to the camera. Hi, not okay That's the first time he's ever gotten the band. Oh wow. That's nice. Yeah, he put it over your head He put it on that camera. I can tie it like a turbine if you like. That would be pretty amazing. Pretty funny. We should get a bomb towel just for Deepu. So that's great. Did you guys know him best friends? Who's your best friend?

Well, this is what tears the thing. I have a group of, also I have a group of. I would say. I asked Bobby who his best friend is Dan. Sorry. Hmm. Who's your best friend? I'm not gonna answer that.

Whoa, why? You're a fucking jerk off. I'm kidding, I'll answer it. I just wanted to say that? I'm not gonna answer that. Whoa, why? You're a fucking jerk off. I'm kidding, I'll answer it. I just wanted to say that. I'm not answering it though. Who's your best friend? I would say, I would say he'd have to be Quinn. I was gonna say Jim Norton.

No, I was gonna say you. I love Jim, but we don't talk that much. I talk to Quinn pretty much every day. And we talk and we have very full, interesting conversations, serious out of it, laughing, observations, making fun of people, trashing each other, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, he trashes you behind your back. Yeah, he doesn't like you.

He actually said that you're one of his least favorite people. Oh, I know that. Yeah, we told you he's told me that. That's why he's honest. And that's why I appreciate it. And I get it. Because he actually says, I don't like you. I'm calling. Why are you still me that that's why he's honest. That's why I appreciate it. I get it because he he actually says I don't like you You guys are close because you have nicknames for each other. He calls you chubby nerd

Right chubby nerds chubby It's not a sixth grader. Isn't that a any Murphy movie chubby nerd I would say I would say who's your second in command? I would say who's your second in command? I mean that's where it gets hard because then there's like my man like I Think it top three best friends I can't do this Guys in this room are my best friends. I got yeah, I have

I talk with I got yeah, I have yeah, I'm like look dude. Yeah, I'm pretty I talk with scope on the phone I'm pretty close with Louis. We're times a week. We just talking the phone All right, so where is scope oh with you? Where would you put him? He's literally one of my best friends scope oh is yeah, Dan One of my best there Joe one of my best friends. What about Deepo? Who? De who I so be where am I in that you're one of my best friends? What about? Okay, no actually you're not one of my best friends. You literally said to me, I'm not your friends.

Remember the conversation? I said. I never forget cause it hurt me. That was one time, that was one time, I literally had to leave the room cause Beatrice was watching me be hurt on my face. Did you not, you're not my fucking friend? No, you're my fucking friend, you're not Bill Barr.

No, because Colin, because you were fucking, he was doing his, see, this is what he's ready to take a shit. He's gonna take a shit out of context. What do you think Dan, you know me? You know me, I've known you the longest out of everybody in this world. That's not true, I've known you longer than you know Dan. I've known him.

I literally have known you for almost fucking 10 years. You fucking have not, have not, have not known me. You've known of me. I'm the known of you. We went on a boat. We played left, right center on a boat. To you, that was a, that was a glance.

Me and Dan, I'm talking to Dan. I don't really care friends in my mind. Me and Dan have been friends. How long did long time? Yeah, six years. OK, now Dan. I literally, you stand. I'm talking to Dan.

Five years. Dan. Yeah. I mean, I've been in the big, six years. Okay. Now Dan. I literally you stand. I'm talking to Dan five years. Dan. Yeah, we've been I mean, I lived on your block six years ago. Yeah, I saw you twice. Once without a shirt getting arrested. Scary. You're not a friend. I think I work with you on 07. You did. Yeah, that's what I first met Bob. I saw you as a fucking drunk on stage with a Guinness, okay? Me and you. I was with him drunk. Me and you have been friends since I mean we built since I met you. We kind of been consistent with a friendship. What do you guys built? Do you build couple of decks?

What's up? You know, a church. You know my house. You know what I'm talking about. We've talked, we call each other just to say hi. Just a sailor. What's up? You know, we have a church.

Hi, click. No. And all that time, do you really think that I would just be that ruthless? Just say hello. What's up? You know we have That's high click. No And all that time do you really think that I would just be that ruthless just out of the blue just tell him Fuck you, you know, do you think there would be something knowing him and then knowing me as the corporate one in the room Do you think there's something behind That would fuel that I would just say that to somebody. No, I don't think it was an unprovoked reaction So you think there might have been a something that would I'm guessing that the few heated argument goes to a point where Your angry and want to lash out and hurt lose because he said some fucked up shit He said some

He tweeted a good yeah, I was gonna tell him, see if you remember, I said, I tweeted my nut sack at you. Right. So, I tweeted, I said, no. No, he fucking, I tweeted it at Bobby, and then he lied to me and told me that Serpico saw it in front of his fucking seven-year-old kids.

No, because I felt, I was trying to hook this guy up with a bunch of shit, like, you know, TV, like trying to get him, and he's fucking out there being an idiot like he usually is Not sad and there's people there's people going to his Twitter to see who the fuck he is And I'm like trying to have a conversation dude. You got a fucking and he's like dude I'm just fucking doing what I do and you know I'm like dude listen I don't even really know this fucking dude totally. I'm friends with you now So he never got me management. We've been friends for two. I've been coming in the show for two years

But no you can't tell me when I was friends with you I know when I considered you a friend and at that point you weren't like in my inner circle I had a guy that I was trying to help out brother. You can't tell me. You think you will, you bonded with me. We had a way of getting involved. Six years ago, you. We had already done the Yankee swap.

No, we did. We weren't fucked up. Had you sucked his fake dick yet. Oh, that's a good one. I was like two months away from sucking your fake dick. Everyone came to that point that fucked up, dude. We became friends. I knew you got a dick. We became friends. I think you got a dick.

We became friends. Look, me and you are the same guy, basically. So our fuck you's back and forth happen more than me and Dan. On me and Joe, I get that. So I'm not gonna put it on you. Like you're just an idiot. I'm an idiot too.

Remember why I sent my nuts acting? But here's the thing. I have no idea. I don't ban me from the show. I didn't ban you from the show. You get you and Paul fucking Verzi, Diet diet Lewis Jay Gomez. Yeah, do you done? You're done in yonness. You're done. I was like yonness verzy And then I just and then I just had a shot of my face thinking but it was from the perspective of somebody was looking from beyond my

Balls that But that wasn't the reason I said that wasn't the reason it wasn't it wasn't it was because We got to an argument. I was like dude. You got a stuff to you fuck and we're back and forth back and forth back and forth Right, and I'm trying to explain to you look dude. This is about your career There's people blah blah, and you're like dude. I just did it. We were friends. I'm like dude Fucking you're not my best friend, we're not fucking pals. You don't come over, I don't call you and I have a problem, we weren't there yet.

I'm reliving it right now, it hurts again, the same way. Hey man, reality, fuck I'm sorry, but we've become fucking friends. I've called him, he's called me, Dan, I'm talking to, going back and forth about shit. Me and you in the last maybe year have become better friends. We call each other, we work shit out. We've had our ups and downs fights.

I think that's how you become a friend. Me and Dan have never really had a fight ever, ever. I'm pretty vanilla. Well, it's just who you are. I'm like him. Say it again. I didn't say it. Dude, I didn't say it again.

Deepa, did you call Dan Foney? But listen, Jaype. You guys are dude. Listen, I consider you say it again. Deepa, you called Dan Foney? But listen, Jay, you guys are dude. Listen, I consider you guys, my friends, not like Scopo just became my friends in the last year. You know what I mean? I thought you had a cross to threshold to funny to get to your friendship.

Man, friendship is a fucking really meaningful thing. I don't just fucking give it to you. I mean, you gotta go through shit to become friends with the- An obstacle course in his backyard. It was pretty mean he made me do it. Because I'm at home ninja warrior course. Get out of the handbite. Get out of the tree, then. You got to climb up the tree with the spikes. How many guys can you be friends with? I mean, really, honestly, how many guys

can you be seriously friends with? I'm committed to a group of six in Colorado right and then my comic friends how who who you comic friends I mean I got a lot of like Joe okay you Lewis yeah Jay yeah Nate right Vekion Deroza yeah like I'm not friends with I mean I like Vekion a lot but yeah it's not my pal. He's one of the best friends. Yeah, but he doesn't call me up. We don't talk, but I would talk to him. You also in his will. You understand the fucking difference?

Yeah. Yeah. Scope doesn't call me up for advice. We don't talk every day, but he's a friend, but he's not like my fucking best friend. I have, you know, Norton Voss, Keith, you know, Jim Sarpakot, Tom Celetti, and Colin Quinn, on my friends, friends,

and then it kinda goes off from there, but- About the goal. But people, gomen too, I love gomen, yeah, absolutely gomen's in there. But Dane. Dane's, Dane. Well, my wife. Yeah.

My wife's number one. Max is tough to be friends with though. I have three people on my favorite, so my phone. Three people, that's great. I got 12. You're my favorite. That's fine, you know? Max is tough to be friends with I have three people on my three people on my favorites on my phone three people That's great. I got 12 your my favorite. I got a lot of you know, you're not mine. That's cool You know, I have three people in my favorites. I used to have 30 and then I realized this is stupid I have three people that are my favorite people in the world. Why have a lot of love in your life, huh? Come on, bro. What you want to be in my favorites? I want to be in your favorite

You can't be because I don't call you with all that in your life. Huh? Come on, bro. What, you wanna be in my favorites? I wanna be in your favorites. You can't be, cause I don't call you with all that. All right, man. The people that are in my favorites. I'm not gonna lie to you, you're not in my favorites. Exactly, I'm not in your favorites. Joe, this is in my favorites. Yeah, but I'm not in your, I'm not in your, in a circle.

Joe, this is in my favorite. No, but it's not that, because you're in a circle. No, your fucking circle is in a, I'm at a different level. You're like you've caught, you're a fucking old man who has kind of DB show. Yeah, that's just, you're not gonna come and smoke weed with us at the creek. I'll tell you this, if you did, it would be a lot of fun.

I don't smoke weed. I would love you, come on Legion of Skanks, you've been the most requested guest for Legion of Skanks. I've never been asked. Come on Legion of Skanks. Yeah, but you say it like it's my fault. I've never asked. I don't think you would come. You've been the most requested guest for Legion's case. I've never been asked. Come on, Legion's case. Yeah, but you say it like it's my fault. I've never asked. I don't think you would come.

But you've never asked. Will you come on? Yes. 100%. Absolutely. You were literally the most requested guest we've ever had. I absolutely would come on. Absolutely.

Why would not we are with people smoking leader, right? Why would I reject you? I would only fucking, I would love to, I love Jay. I love Dave. I love you. I mean, I love. I like you a lot love to, I love Jay, I love Dave, I love you. I mean, I love, I like you a lot. Yeah, so I'm not your friend, but you love me. You're fucking, I already serve fuck.

You are my friend. When I said that, I think I apologize for saying that. I know. I really do. I didn't mean it. I would know it was, no, it was more of a point, like listen, dude, I'm trying to help you as a person in this business.

I'm not, stop putting it on the friendship. Like, I'm trying to help you as a person in this business. I'm not, stop putting it on the friendship. Like, I'm just pals. With buddies, man, I was kidding. Fuck that. Listen, I'm trying to help you with something to get for you and your career and your family. And I'm trying to tell you something right now. You're not listening.

You're making it about busting balls and being a buddy. Fuck, that's, I should have phrased it better. You're caution my friend, dude. You've been to my house. I don't invite people to my house, I don't like. If you don't come to my house, I'm not gonna, I mean, you come to my house, I love you, that means you're definitely part of my circle.

And then once you, you're invited to everything I do. And once you place, otherwise, you shouldn't have said that. Off school course. I apologize. Then you can come in the house, Luke. Do you accept my apology? No. Gravel. Okay. You're a really sorry.

No, so there you go. Well, thanks, but yeah, I love all you guys, man. Nothing made me happier when you canceled the show the other day. I was like, good, your headline is somewhere. That's fucking great. No, I thought I felt bad? I didn't want to. Oh, feel great. I want you to, that means that you are making more money somewhere else. And it's your gig. Not a ton more. Yeah, but it doesn't matter.

It's your gig. And you had, that's your objective. That was my objective to work with this guy and have to say, I don't work for you anymore because I'm doing my own thing. Bobby Kelly, get money. Son. Yeah, Dan. Dan used to come at me

all the time now he's fucking doing the same clubs I'm doing for more money no that's not true I'm good doing for quarter audiences I know you're always the one that accurately calls like when I'm on the road I call Nate when I want a bitch about something because Nate's just great at just hating shit with you as he be like, oh, it's terrible. I hate it. It's, uh, but then you're the one when I need like the pep talk. We like, I've called you in so many target parking lots walking to my

hotel room. Just you being like, this is what you wanted. You wanted to be a headliner. You're not going to have tickets. So hold on. It's just like, yeah. And then I call this one. I want a good laugh

And I call Lewis if I need some dietary advice What do you call scopo fork nothing? No, you guys really call me but I like scopo my face lights up when he texts me really You know it's really hot dude. What that chicken your show. Oh, which one? Liz? Oh? Which one I literally is I could gosh, she's so. Which one? Liz, I could jerk off to her Instagram. The comedian? No. The one that from last week?

The girl who's on your show, the TV show. Oh, the TV show. No, Liz, Julius. Oh, yeah, she's. Oh, dude, I was, did you know that on my age? She was supposed to come in. You wanted to come in. Do it, please, have her come in.

I'm gonna have a comedian and not have you on the show. He's definitely not on the show. If you don't have me on that show, I will literally, I take back, except have a comment. I'm gonna have a comment and not have you on the show. He's definitely not on the show. If you don't have me on that show, I will literally, I take back, accepting your apology. You are not my friend, but you literally cannot take it back. You said I literally, I literally did not have an option. Just what I don't like, this one a psycho I am. I don't like that he took the apology, like I owed it to him,

but he had nothing to apologize to. You know what I mean? Like he was just absolutely a hundred percent right in that conversation. In the corporate world, we call this a mission of when you think back, it was kind of funny, the picture of my balls. Dude, that's your, that's your, that's your put on the rubber glove in the fucking, uh, in the OJ case, that's the leather glove defense. And that was back when we were were doing when I was kicking you off the show and just We were making you do the five fucking things. Yeah, the acts of kindness and kicking you off That was not real. I mean I kicked you off the show like a couple months ago for real. Yeah, wait what? No, I'm kidding

Yeah, Liz is very pretty man. And here's a deal. OK, we're shooting a scene, I think. It's this week. I'm shooting something, too. And that's why I won't have it on the show. She. Because of his uncle, he ever? No, she.

She's supposed to do this whole dance scene where they put her into literally nothing. It straps going across her body. And I knocked on her door. And she were like, we're busy doing a fitting. And I went, it's me. And she goes, oh yeah, open it up. She's so fucking bad ass and funny. She goes, open it up. Come on in. I opened the door, dude. I felt my knees, I fell to the ground. Oh my Lord. Literally just let the straps going across the breasts and the VGG and she's just in her hair was.

How bad did you, how bad did you want to be 93 Bobby at that moment? Dude, I wanted to be sexy Bobby so bad. You wanted to morph into sexy Bobby. Yeah. Licking your lips like L.O. Cool, Jay. I just wanted to go, what are you doing tonight, you want to hang? I got a show down the cellar of 12. I'm doing the last part.

She's so hot. She's so funny too though. She's fucking hilarious. She's not funny dude. She's just that hot. Dude, that's a power of hot shots. How are you, dude? They can convince you that they're smart and funny.

Did she do genius and she's hilarious dude? I'd say she's genius dude. She is fucking funny dude. She does shit. Like, she'll be like sexy, whether you know, the titties out, whatever. And some one of the other guys will look and be like, hmm, she'll be like,

what are you doing? Oh my God, I feel uncomfortable. What are you, she'll just start acting like she's been like assaulted and other people will look around and then she starts laughing and think, you fucking psycho. She goes like, she's with a boyfriend, she'll, in the mall, she'll just fall. She'll just fall like he pushed her. Oh my, I'm Yeah, she goes like she's with the boyfriend. She'll in the wall. She'll just fall

She'll just fall like he pushed her oh my I'm sorry. She just I'm sorry. No offense body. This sounds terrifying Why would you do that? Where ever to spend time in prison because she lied about them. Oh, yeah, she's getting pretty good life. Boyfriends 41 She's 21 That's not gonna work out Boyfriends 41 to 21 That's not gonna work out Amazing she's so fun one of the hottest girls. I mean, just wait. I want to be tweeted at Ariana Grande I was on a Twitter she's best friends. Oh, I mean, dude. I would literally she should come on the show I would never I would never see James again for one night with Ariana Grande

Really I followed her on Twitter and it just bugged me Well, hopefully we can get her in here because that would be the best thing that ever happened to James Why would you fucking even say that I'm just kidding? Oh, right? Wait, what's this? I'm typing the actresses name. I'm kidding. They're all jokes dude. Never being serious type in the action Never ever not even about the fucking old man. I didn't even move Yeah, his life he actually is a he's not even Puerto Rican, okay nice talking to you. All right guys. Gellus Did you find it? Yeah, how do I spell the last name? I don't know G G I L L I E S on my thumb somebody's

All right, we're gonna wrap this up guys. This is getting boring. Um, you guys have been amazing. Let's uh Let's go. Let's wrap it up Lewis, what do you got? Uh guys come check me out the end of January go to gomascomedy.com and I'm gonna be headlining in Toronto comedy bar and the underground the weed bar. Fuckin love the weed bar is she is amazing She's the best dude. Oh my god. One of the nicest people in the world and the place fills up. Yeah, every time. Yeah, I got to actually cut my set short because I get fucked up. Yeah, I got to really just go run outside but unbelievable.

Fuck. And the comedy bars are awesome too, man. Yeah, really. So go check that out guys. Got some shows and then I guess this later on I got some shit coming up with Bobby Kelly. Jay and her 31stst move he can son With which one did you cancel bananas? I can't feel bananas for Toronto. That's a good one Yeah, it's great. It's great gig. Okay cool. Yeah, so yeah go to my Twitter at Louis Shagom as and Check my other podcasts real as podcasts hammer fisting all seven of the skanks We got three other podcasts. What? What?

What, man? What? What? What? The real last dude. How's that going? Realized podcast. Scopo kicking ass on it.

Way better on the realized podcast than this. Maybe because he's, look man, he's more relaxed. Yeah. Right? Yeah. What are you gonna loosen up on this show? I don't know. You're telling?

My tone. Yeah, I'm scared of you. Fuck you talking about. All right, Dan. Hi. What do you got? I, uh, I'm gonna be... Hey, when you guys get stoned.

Providence or dyes. What was your stoned? You're doing fucking either coke or coffee. I brought this. I brought so much more energy in the second part of this. Oh. You think you're dead yet? I should, my man.

Yeah, you absolutely dead. I think I just shit. There was no audio. I think I just shit. I just know audio. I think I just shit. Oh my god. I'm gonna be in our DC Providence, Rhode Island, Los Angeles, Merry Christmas. All right, next week, Yankee Swap, what about our fucking show?

19th. Plug it. Long Island. Plug it. What theater? Paramount. Paramount. Theater. You don't care if it's not yours, huh?

Oh, bullshit. Then say something. It's the paramount. It's Joe Bobby and I. Say it. Quit bullying me, Bobby. Say it. Paramount theater, January, December 19th.

Tickets on sale now, Robert Kelly live, dark. Why'd you go down, go up? I don't know, aren't you saying it? Don't confuse. I'm not. Good. Joe, what do you got? I have list of mania t-shirts for sale. I think I don't even know what's shaking over there I give people going hey, they're sold out what about this we have it up on the screen coming right everybody made an ad for everybody's going We need more we need more we need excels right there. It's in the video look at the video

He put it in the video get your list of many a t-shirts right now and ryecast.merchtable.com. God sakes my kids are fucking starving at home. I have kids you fucking nut. What if I do someday? They'll be hungry. January 8th, 9th and 10th, I'll be at the Tacoma Comedy Club in Tacoma. Why are you fucking stepping over the show we have coming up? He promoted it. You promoted it. What the fuck are you talking about your egg head? He just promoted it you're about to promote see what he's doing. I'll three with got promoted you fucking jerk off the order that

January 23rd and 24th dead crow comedy club William Wilmington North Carolina. That's January 8th through the 10 that sounds fun and to cover and January 23rd of the 24th dead crow Wilmington dogs Come on, oh Jesus Christ the rotting carcass comedy show actually heard it's a great poem Fucking idiots actually think it sounds like a great club. Yeah, you're fucking right Dan. I'm putting a good word for you Hey, Dan go fuck your fucking political fucking neutral face. I didn't, I've known to them ever political neutral, a business neutral baby.

Oh god. Two packets delivered, UPS movies. Fuck, it's not my package. Oh, my mousy yet. What package, bro? Why do I have my sag screeners yet? I enjoy fucking sag with my fucking TV. You're not nominated.

That doesn't go to be nominated. Yeah, fuck off. I'm not nominated. I'll tell you how to do doesn't go to say. That doesn't go to say. You're not nominated. You have to be nominated. I'll tell you how to do. You ready? You want to do it? You have to vote. You want, you so if you don't vote for what?

The president? No, vote for the scheme. The screen actor's guild awards. You vote for those. Okay. And you vote if you vote for those and pick all, if I sit there and pick them out every year, me and Don, that one's going to win, gonna win that one's gonna win and then they send them to you because you actually vote oh how do I vote I'll go vote they send you a fucking

thing I'm voting for Jill Steinways that you bring it up here okay yeah baby I love the baby so much more than any other baby you can bring her up to you know what I mean I'm a bigger fan. I love about it. Go. I'm done ya fuckin' knucklehead. Dead Crow and you shit all over it. You made me look like a fuckin' idiot. I love dead Crow man.

It's the best comedy club in fuckin' Illinois. Wilmington. Wilmington. North Carolina. North Carolina. North Caca Laca. Yeah. Be there.

What do you got beside? What do you got for me? For you? December 19th the paramount oh I didn't hear about that fucking one minute ago you choo December 31st comedy connection in Rhode Island. Oh wow Wow Wow Look at you East Providence under the highway and a fucking old bank Fucking jerk fucking great room and it's a great room and I'm headlighting there too coming up me too all three of us are there

I'm their new years. Yeah, oh special. Oh, that's interesting. I'm at Caroline's on Broadway me too, bro We're bringing it in touch. Yeah, fuck my mother. I'm so happy. It's me you Norman Michelle Wolf and and Ricky Vales and Gary Veter and Gary V Wow, that's a sit dick. Fucking mediocre show. Go ahead. I appreciate that, Bobby. January 23rd, 24th, bananas, and hazburk heights. F***. You know what, bananas?

I love bananas. You want to, the food? Do you want to take, do you want to take his middle spot? Do the, the middle spot with me? No, I'll be at Dead Crow Comedy Club that weekend in Wilmington. Arrrr. Which sounds better, folks? Write in Dead Crow or bananas? weekend in Wilmington. Arrrr. Which sounds better folks, right in,

Dead Crow or bananas. They both sound like shit. That sounds like Dead Crow eat. Mm-hmm. What? Oh shit. Dead Crow's don't eat. Banana.

Dead Crow don't eat. That doesn't sound anything like what a Dead Crow would eat. I know a couple of people who have been there. They said it was a great place. Yeah, it's actresses beautiful. Yeah, I got it. Why are you winking? I'm not winking.

I'm on camera, dude. Don't stop lying. Go ahead, let's get this over. Are we done? I don't know, you guys go back and forth. What else do I have? And then March 6th and 7th, all in Tundraft House. I love that club.

Yeah, that's great. All right, so anyways, thank you everybody who voted. They didn't vote. They actually donated. When I'm barred gifts for kids, you guys are amazing. It really helped out. I really appreciate it. Make sure you go and check out all these guys at their clubs.

See them locally because that's what we do for Real Zs is a stand-up comedy. So support us and go up to us after the show and let us know that you heard about the show from the YKWD podcast. Is that a deep who you got anything? No, I got nothing. Just follow me on Twitter at R2D-Poo. What about you? Just follow me on the Twitter.

That crystal you got? Yeah, I mean, I got shows in the city, but I'm not gonna promote them. Okay, good for you. Yeah, that's a way to work. I'll be at the good take. LOL. All right.

And let's end uncomfortable. Some of the internet, and they're all free, and they're all free.