Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Pete Dad-Vidson | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #71

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss new comics being rage baiters, Master of the Universe, portals, movies, Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson concert, if Pete Davidson married Dawn, Baby James watching old stand up specials and more! LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz-ep-04-robert-kelly-dan-soder-luis-j-gomez/id371045355?i=1000634076160 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedyhttps://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/ Thanks to @johng.wav on Instagram for the new intro music. SPONSORS Mint Mobile Get your wireless bill to $15/month! http://MintMobile.com/regz INDACLOUD If you’re 21 or older, get 30% OFF your first order @ IndaCloud with code REGZ at https://inda.shop/REGZ #indacloudpod BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ Ultra New customers get 15% off with code REGZ at http://takeultra.com Quince Free shipping and 365 Day returns http://quince.com/regz Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fill her up. In Love, Lewis is my favorite. Hit the whatever. Drowning and pussy Lewis is fun too, though. Drowning and pussy is fun, but in the middle, Lewis, getting to pussy or getting to love, kind of annoying. How do you know I'm in love?

Are we going? How do I know you're going? Because I saw a video of you in a gym bench pressing her giggling to fucking gay music. That's why. You did not. Yeah, he did. She wanted to see if I could bench her.

Yeah, but he put. Okay, baby. You're doing... What was the song you covered? You're doing 1950s muscle beach flirting? We should bet you. Well, check out this man can bench press this lady. Isn't that the sign of the time?

He has the same body as those guys back then, too. Are we rolling? He has original Superman body. I really have the... Remember the ad of, like, the musseling guy beating up the nerd on the beach? I'm the villain in that head. You kick sand in the guy's face every time.

We're here, dude. We're back. What's up, dude? We got the dude. We got the fucking snake And the bags Look it I'm gonna do one thing

I'm gonna do one thing Is open this show Rip it And then I go All right that's it What's up everybody We're back The Regs

We got Joe List A.k.a. The Truth Dan Soda A.k. A.k. And the Rattlesnake The Rattles

He's a wonderful man He's a wonderful man. He's a wonderful comedian He's even better Louis J. Gomez. He's a Nazi. Me.

The dude. The dude. Not the dude. Jeff Bridges is the dude I know we did this before Joe Joe does that every week to bother the fans and Bobby eats that microphone

just about it's like it's a reverse trolling You know why? Because you guys are assholes on Reddit If you weren't assholes We wouldn't eat on camera And Joe wouldn't bring up the same exact topic every week But now we, the only thing we can do To hurt you is that

Also, we're four guys We're fucking, we only have three thoughts We're also aging in front of them Yeah, we have kids Two of us, three of us, three of us have kids. And then I'm just an old pothead. We have a dog. Well, we were talking about this off air, and this is a serious topic.

Oh, God. Dan Soder is becoming more like Bobby than Bobby. And we now, because of our therapist, who we love, now I'm dealing with three complete lunatics. Yeah, but I'm not as fucking crazy. I know. You're not as crazy. I am a psycho. You're less crazy is pretty crazy.

I'm less crazy. You're super aggressive still. Dan gets fucking crazy. crazy aggressive. Like to the point where it's like, I mean, I had to call Dan the other day. I was, if Dan didn't de-escalate the first word of that call,

me and Dan were going to fist fight in front of Myrtle. Myrtle is going to be barking at our feet as we rolled around the streets. No, it is, this is like the shittiest part of therapy, but for years I just fucking buried my anger. Yeah, but you get to have a super peer. You call your sister your anger?

You, folks. You get, she was cream at his use. You get to have, you get to have that power. and me and Lewis are trying to lose it, which sucks. Can I tell you what, though?

What? It was way more dangerous back in the day when I was just like, yeah, okay, yeah, okay. Then I'd go home and just fucking put holes in my wall. Like, at least now I'm expressing myself. Once you buy a house, you'll never put a hole in a wall again. I'll take that. When it's a rental, you're like,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gah, yeah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. I do the fucking the chops, like, e Honda, against the wall. But it's also, that's what. why dudes die of heart attacks in their 40s is because they don't let the anger out and then they're just like, I wasn't gonna die

of a heart attack. Yeah, I know. And it sucks and like with Lewis, he made an absolutely good point because he was like, what the fuck you talk of shit? And I was like, no dude, I was like, shut up, dumb ass like that. Like how I talked to my friend and he goes,

that's why it's Bobby's rule, put it in a smiley face or ha-ha, and then I read it. You can't say you, you dumb fuck. I didn't say you dumb fuck, whatever it was. See, same shit. I called him a dumb ass. I was retired or something like that.

It was something sassy. It was a lot. By the way, it was a lot, right? I talked to Lewis. Hold on, did you read it as a lot? I read it as a lot. I read it. And the previous one was a lot.

Dan, I read it, and I was like, yeah. And then I, like, my fat thumbs, I'm like, I couldn't even, I saw so red. And I was like, don't you ever fucking talk to that I told you? When you called me and I picked up, you heard my tone. And I was like, dude, you aren't that mad, right? And he's like, what the fuck? And then by the way. just so I will because we interrupt and go a thousand other places at the end of the conversation

Lewis was like reread that and tell me and then I got off the phone I reread it and I was like absolutely right he did the same thing to me this chair I called him up they're just giving us broken chair I called him up at set was it not eight in the morning yeah you texted me at seven 15 in the morning yeah a passive aggressive yeah tax I admit that it was passive aggressive now that I read it back you got to read it back all right you got to read it back boys I had said maybe read it three times. I was pissing when I was texting you that. If you had,

if you had put the smiley face in there, I would have fucking let it go. That's true. But honestly, there was nothing smiley face about my passive crisis. Well, this is the problem. I'm editing. Can you turn up my headphones, Danny?

Film. I'm watching Lewis as this beautiful. It's right there, dude. I know. I have it in. Man. I mean, this is a beautiful film. This is Citizen Kane.

So any, any, any, flack towards Lewis, I'm like, what are you nuts? This guy's our hero, our savior. Yeah. He's the hero of the film. You're welcome. Damn it, Bobby, you were right.

We're admitting what we're wrong now. You don't do the wrong one. I was on there. You know what, guys? This is a podcast is called Old Men Learning. I'm a dad, and I let you learn on your own. Thank you. And you know what I did?

I took the accountability of being wrong. Years ago, I would have been... Just like I was when I texted you, Louis. Years ago, I would have went, hey, fucking idiot. It's over there, stupid. True. Fucking figure it out. And I would have gone like this.

Yeah, fine. And then later on going, I'll fucking kill him. I'll fucking kill him. I'm at home alone. I'm still crazy, though. I've snapped a couple times this year. Now Bobby's a dad, and so he's going to give you a gun and teach you how to use it and leave you home alone with it.

Can I say something, though? The new generation of comics are rage baiters. They rage bait. They do all the things we do. Well, they grow up to masturbate. I can't come unless I'm fucking furious. Oh, God, now you said I don't watch. Oh, fuck now I'm mad about it, and I want to jerk on.

Lick it and flicks. It's like it follows. You know what I'm saying, though? They're rage bait. As soon as you go back at them, ah. They came up in the, clickbait era.

Like, click bait. When he gets me, he'll, if I yell at him, he's yelling back. If he yells at me, I'm yelling. At least there's some back and forth. And then we de-escalade. We're also, man, so we're used to this. Like, you can't really do that anywhere else in the world. Like, we're just like, we're those guys, right? Yeah.

So it works with us, but it doesn't work with anybody else, like, in my life. I can't yell the way we yell. Otherwise, they're like, they use words like, fucking, like... Assault. Aggravated assault. I think the last time I yelled at Joe, he got sad and it broke my heart. I think that was down at the cellar.

That was like 10 years ago. Yeah, and I never, I haven't yelled at you since. That was upsetting. Yeah, I know, because, but you, but you, you, you, you know what Joe does. He says mean shit. No, no, no, no. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.

That's not true. You say outrageous shit. No. And you go, and you say parable things. If Joe was a public school teacher, he would have made so many kids flip out by how mean he is. He is me. He would have just pushed him to the edge. And he'd have gone, that assignment was due Friday.

it's Monday. And they're like, I'm going to the dean. No, that was a bad one. I cried. All right. I made Joe cry once too. What?

I made Joe cry once too. You haven't made Joe cry? You're not his friend. You're not his friend. That hurts. It was, there was a thing you said one time on the show and I was like,

I just called you being like, what the fuck, blah, blah, blah, it was a real Bobby moment in me. It was like, no, no, no, no, no, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, and then you started to be like, I didn't, like,

I don't accept that. You're duding on me. I don't accept that. It's a Lewis moment. It's a Lewis moment, too. You're me. I'm you. You're the same as me.

Don't say... Yeah, you guys are the Spider-Man. Yeah, dude, you're the black Spider-Man. Shooting, shooting rage come out of you. Miles Morales. He's Miles Morales. Also, it takes his mom's last name, which is... I saw a Masters of the Universe last night.

How is it? I want to watch it on the plane. Okay. If you were a big He-Man guy? Yeah. But were you? Yeah. Because I grew up when He-Man was.

I had like two of the figures. I had fucking... I never really watched the cartoon that much. Loved the cartoon. Loved the Dolph Lundgren movie. Yeah. Lungren makes a... Why did you do this?

Come on. Spoiler. Can I say something? It's on demand on Amazon. I know. Do they play the keyboard thing? From the... Can I ask a question?

Do you, He-Man fans? Yeah. Isn't it just a watered down Thor? Pretty much. Kind of, yeah. Okay. Yeah, for sure. And it's the Shazam thing

where he holds the sword and he's like a regular guy. By the power of gray skull. I have the power. It's very self-aware. I like that. Good. How a Skeletor? Jared Leto is Skeletor. He's fun. It's just funny. He's like dumb. He can't see his face. He's a skeleton. Does he do that?

Does he get that kind of voice? Yeah, yeah. He's good. But I think people hate Jared Letto, so I think that's one of the reasons why the movie bombed. They're trying to cancel him. Yeah, they just watched the documentary. He sucks. Yeah, he's trying to. I saw the end of Oak Street and it's fucking awesome. What? I saw the Dinosaur one? Is that the dinosaur one? Yeah. Is it? The what? Right. What is it? End of Oak Street. No one's ever heard of this fucking movie.

You in McGregor and Ann Hathaway? What's it about? Dinosaurs come to the suburbs. Him and McGregor? Him and Connor McGregor. Dime and Tony McGregor. Isn't that just Jurassic Park? No, dummy. What? Dinosaurx. Parks, not the suburbs.

Well, this is the thing. And Ron, this is Ron On's point. Oh, God. John's fucking annoying online. I'll say it. I don't, don't edit it. He's fucking annoys the fuck out of me, dude. He's all he's trashing Matt Rife. He has a video where he's like, it's a bit where he's trashing my life. It stinks. Like, dude, what are you doing? We're all... Matt Rice, dude, shit up. Who cares?

That's going to be your thing. You're the guy who's, like, trashing the popular comedian? I've said this. Shut up, Ronan. You're a funny, dude. Just be funny. It's not had this conversation. But putting it on a crazy move. He did make a great point. Jaws. They made Jaws. He put it in bit form, though. It's not like he just wanted to make a statement. He did write a joke. It's a bit. It's a bit. But we're talking about John. I know. But I'm just saying. I was in John.

But it is a dick move. Okay. So, they made Jod. They made Jod. and have made a million shark movies since. Sure. It's a genre. Sure. But Jurassic Park, there's not a dinosaur genre. They just keep making Jurassic Parks.

And the difference between this is Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park is like a sciencey. We created dinosaurs and they got out of control. This is like we're living in the suburbs and through some weird portal bullshit. Dinosaurs have come and they run around eating. I love a portal. It is dumb, but it's fun, dumb. I love a portal.

I'll tell you, that's how I played with. Portals are like time travel. It's just like, okay, you don't have an explanation. So you don't want to write it. It's a portal. It's a time travel in the movie. That's how we used to play with action figures. I go Wolverine and Terminator.

I don't know, a portal. And now we're in a portal. You need to explain it. Write it. You slap thing to stop a leak. Just go, whack. Put a portal on it. But if you're aware of the silly, it's fun.

My first gig was at porthole pub. Hey, okay. I tried to hold you up. That car just hit a portal. I just say, I needed that to wipe out my water. Yeah. I was waiting to throw that. Why, we hang out with run on?

I got dragged in. I got dragged in with you. No. Oh, Jesus Christ. You're going to love it. I want to love it. Is it okay? James love it?

Is it in the movies? Yeah, it's in the theater. I saw the Odyssey. I don't know if I can do another fucking movie right now. Well, this movie's like an hour and 40 minutes long, which is nice. Masters of the universe was like two and a half hours. That's stupid. It's crazy.

What? Crazy. I'm going to watch it on the road on my lap. It's too fucking hokey. It's a little, it was cute. Right. Me and James did the exact same reaction. Yeah. We jerked off. We came.

Wiped off our bellies. No, we're just like... Why don't you come on each other? You guys jerked off shirtless? It's fun. You lift your shirt, you fucking... Well, I usually, I try to go completely naked. Oh, okay.

I do no more of the hill people and pull it over. Me and Max, only jerk off with shirts and our socks on. You can't jerk up naked because my other hand is pulling down on my fucking belt. I'm like, oh, you fucking bitch. What kind of public masturbator? That's such a great... You take your pants all the way. way on. I'm naked. If I'm in a

corporate hotel, Marriott or Hilton, I'm balk-ass-ass. There's no way you guys get naked. Is this a joke? In a hotel, I get fully naked. Buck naked. Jerk off. Yeah. I jerk. All right, I take down my blanket. I go downstairs. Step one. Downstairs at the hotel?

Not my home. My home. Step two. I'm sorry. I grab my big old jar of pickles. This is fun. Filling in the blank. When he pauses, you get to fill in. I put him in my ass one by one.

Funk, oh, Fung, oh, Occupato. Now, my jar of coconut oil, coconut oil. Use coconut oil? Oh, it is good. Coconut oil. And you're cooking not all over the place. Hotel room smells like the BET Awards. Dude, do it.

I've literally gotten coconut oil delivered from Uber Eats when I, when they went, as I show up. They went for you. I love it. And then, yeah, I pleasure myself. Okay. That made it way worse than anything. When I jerk off in the house. When I jerk up with the house.

I have to keep my pant, at least my underwear on. Well, yeah, because you're in, you're, you're, you never know when somebody's going to come home. Yeah. I don't jerk off at home anymore. What? Because I make love to my wife so often. Which is nice. And then the road is the other time I jerk off.

Wow. You make love to your wife all the time? Not all the time, but three times a week probably. That's hopefully. That's not a lot. Yeah. Well, I'm gone three days a week. That's a lot.

No, I'm like, I'm like, guys been married. Well, yeah, you're fucking with a 20-year-old girl. She's 29. Oh. Yeah. And no, we, I'm like. I'm insatiable. I feel bad.

Like literally, by the end of the weekend, I'm like, you're like pepia lique, dragging her back in, dragging her back in, well, I could fuck more you, she's walking like a fat guy

in the summer. She goes, ah, oh, Lewis, can have some of that cocoa butter for the inside of my thighs? I got road rash,

honey. Do you, do you have more sex? Obviously, when James is at with B. Yeah. You just go like,

it's weird if he had more sex when he was on. I know, that's right. Well, James has called me out. He's like, dad,

I can hear you in the bedroom. Oh, that's traumatic. Good for James. I never could call my mom. No, he never called me out. Stop doing that. He was like, he was like, look, he was like, you can't. He's like, don't do it when I'm home.

And then I said, I was like, no, I'll do it more quietly. He was like, well, I'm not going to not have sex when you're home. You got to understand how good this pussy is. My boy. Well, I know, I understand. She fucks? When Lewis comes, it sounds like Tarzan. Oh, oh!

He goes, that's my dad. He's playing video game. Sorry, chat. That's my dad. No, I try to do it quiet, but, you know, every once in a while, you know. What noises are you making? Oh! Usually just smoothing the N-word.

Sticking in my ass. Screaming the N-word. We do the same thing. Yeah. My wife's African. Screaming the end. Yeah, no, no, no, he called me. Were you embarrassed when he said that?

Not really. I was like, you know, it is what it is. It's like, yeah, all right. I was like, I'll be more quiet. Why would you want you to be about his, he knows his dad is laying it down. That's fucking great. Yeah, but I'm up there being like, yeah, well, well, you, you know, like that or no, I'm sorry.

Like, my son heard it, it would be depressing. I'm not doing chores. Yeah, you're someone crying. He goes, Mom, are you all right? Do you like that? She's like, no, I do not. She's African. I do not.

I do not like that. Why have you stopped fucking me? That's Joe's wife's voice. That's Sarah's voice now on the podcast. Let me ask you something. Why are you not fucking me harder? I have asked you this. Is it even in, it's not even in.

Our son is in the other room. Make him hear that you are a Do you want him to be a champion? You want him to fuck? You want him to fuck proper? Fuck me. Oh, shit. Yeah, he meant Stunk, kind of.

But it was kind of fun in its own way. Like, if you go into it going, it's going to kind of sting, because that's 3.6 stars on Amazon. We're watching on my laptop on Amazon. No, watch it on a flight. It's garbage. It's a flight, definitely.

It's a flight, definitely. It's a flight. They try to do it, like, a... They try to make it like a... Cobra Kai? No, they try to make, like, a superhero, like, thing. So, did they do the post-credit scenes? Right.

And they try to be like, oh, this is ram man. And there's this guy. And they're trying to make a team for the next one. Sure. But they ain't got to be an egg way. But can I say something to the side guys ram, all the side characters stink. Ram, Ram, Ram, man. God, damn.

Fucking blows. Big Jay called this fat guy. It's serious ram man one time. And he fucking, anytime I hear that I just see this poor, fucking bored off. It just, it was like, yeah, plus the cat. The cat only was that toward the end. The battle cat wasn't even in it. By the way, him a little fucking ghost guy with that hat.

What sucks about growing up? I don't even know. He wasn't even until the very post-credit scene. Yeah, that was big. He was in the cartoon. Also, they, he-man, I think, is just like Ninja Turtles, that it was an entire cartoon made to sell action figures.

That's what it is. It was a toy first, right? I believe the story, if you watch the shows that are the toys that made us. I believe it, they made, it was going to be like Thor or another brand, and then they rebranded it because they couldn't get the rights. So they have all these action figures And then they just made a cartoon And a movie after the action figures

I could be wrong But I'm pretty horrible I think the action figures did And the cartoon did so well They made a movie Yeah Yeah Commodification baby Ninja Turtles wasn't that way

That was a comic book Yeah Oh yeah it was a comic book Then a toy Then a cartoon Yeah I'm not in those things I like the Marvel Like a Deadpool

I like when it's serious And this real blood and shit The animated show came for a shut up Who is it? Who's behind that? It's Paco That's also It's also Google.

Like, look, I think Google, that's what he uses. Oh. Whoa. By the way, do you ever pull something hot out of the oven or you grab it? You go, oh, fuck. That's what I did. I went like this. Oh, fuck.

I got to get gloves. Poplar's the type in houses figures. Oh, that was a good one. But it was fun enough where you'll enjoy it. If you grew up on him and you'll like it. All right. You're self-aware. The girl's fucking smoking in it.

The girl looks like somebody, but she's, you know what I mean? She looks like an actress that was a kid. Who's the bitch who plays Tila? Who is she? She was somebody before this as it, but as a kid. I don't know. She got a lot of followers on Instagram. She's hot.

She's hot. I looked her up. You go, I was just looking for some type pictures. She's fucking smoking. She's like four rows down column to the left. There's a hot picture you can pick up. Tila. Sheira.

Does she become Shira? No. Shira is Heman's twin sister. Yeah, yeah. So she does in the post-credit scene. You see nobody cared about He-Man. And then the post-credit scene is like, oh, shit. Shira's coming in the next one.

It's like, oh, really? Nobody gave a fuck about He-Man. Do you think we give a fuck about Shira? Who's going to, yeah. Did you see what Supergirl did? Dude, bombed. I didn't even watch it. I did.

I watched every superhero movie. I don't want my superhero to be a slut hoe that hangs out in Tampa on weekends. She goes, sorry, I was blowing a guy on a boat. Yeah, dude. What happened? Aliens attack. I did. I did not.

I kind of like that. I don't, dude. Hey, the state took away. kid, but I'm gonna save you. Sorry, I was in Ebor City. What's going on, Superman? I was getting trained by two sailors. Yeah, dude, I didn't like it at all. Really? No. And the new

Superman was dope. Lobo, lobo, I like Lobo, too. Lobo is... Like a Lobo? Yeah, from the, you caught Huskies? No, Lobo's like the fucking most powerful superhero of them all because he can't be killed. Sure. He's awesome, and he was kind of fucking weird in it. Lobo's not even close to

the most powerful. Do me a favor. So who never refer to me as a nerd or a ever again. This is embarrassing. You guys finished the conversation of how we're men. We're men's men. The next 20 minutes is about Shira.

Yeah, but we will fucking... I have the power! That's what... That's what boys do as a kid. You were watching Gone with the Wind and giving notes. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Sorry you had to sit at high tea. Yeah.

We were fucking... We were indulging our fucking brains. Yeah, you liked Wicker. What's Wicker? Like a basket? Uh... Right, Adam. I like the godfather as a kid.

No, I watched shit. I watched Ninja Turtles. I'm so sick of guys quoting the Godfather. And that somehow is like a manly thing. Like, you know, dude, remember that? Fuck off. Someone's not smart enough to watch the Godfather.

I watch the Godfather. Anytime it's on, I'll watch that fucking movie. But I'm not going to remember quotes from it like it's real. I've never seen The Godfather. What? I'm kidding. I just want to see. You get that every time.

It's like, oh. I mean, that's, oh. People get so upset when you have to... I would like Godfather 3, the new one, Coda, that he re-edited. The new one? Yeah, he went back in and re-edited it the way he was supposed to, so it goes with the first two. Right. It's actually pretty good.

Oh, doesn't it do the timeline where he just does the... They edited and it sucks. It was good, though. Cota was good. Oh, but you talk about Heman? Yeah, it's a good conversation. We're having fun with it. As soon as Godfather's brought up, see, the energy was brought down.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm not saying anything by that. That was your contribution to... the movie conversation brought the energy and we all hated it. We were having a fun... What did you think of a citizen game? The last frames...

I'm talking about end of Oak Streets of fucking dinosaurs biting guys heads off. It's not something filled and fuck whatever. Also, I'm just saying your dorks. Just be dorks. That's all.

Just accept it. Yeah. You're nerds. Yeah, we're nerds, but we're nerds in a cool way. Yeah. Bad ass manly nerds. I might shoot up the school.

Hell yeah. I've got an underlying rage issue that my teachers will call. have the body of a school shooter. Yeah. I do click, clack, boom. Don't go to school. All right, you fucking podheads.

We got to thank Indecloud for supporting the show. You want to get stoned? Guess what? Have legal weed, federally legal THC, DEA certified, NLAB test, and mother approved, shipped right to your door. I'm talking about it. They got the gummies.

They got the fucking flour. They got pre-rolls. They have truly everything really, really high quality. Clean THZ, right to your door, discrete packaging. What is there not to love about Indicloud? I don't know when my son finds it and I have to go, hey, dude, you can't use that?

You're cool now? That's why this part's important. If, and only if you are 21 years old or older, go to Indicloud.com. That's dot CO. Not dot com, CO. Use code regs with a Z for 30, 30% off your first subscription order. away. That's in the cloud.claw.

C.O. Like Colorado. Code regs for 30% off shipped routinely and discreetly to your door, plus free gifts on qualifying orders. After you order, fill out the survey and say, the regs sent you. Please enjoy responsibly, and thank you so much to In the Cloud.

I love. Love Inde Cloud. You better buy us body brain letterman jackets. I will. With leather arms. I told you. We'll do a body brain retreat. You guys here welcome to come. I don't have a fucking body brain coffee cup, which is nuts. I'll send you, and the,

I'll get to the whole package now. You should get him the whole thing, dude. Yeah, but the hand blender as well? That guy loves body brand. Well, yeah, we have the hand blender's out now and the mug. We have it all. I'll give you a hand blender at the end of the show.

But I got to talk about right now, though, if you love body brain coffee, I got to talk about the creamer. Okay, the brand new creamer. Oh, I'm creaming. It's incredible. If you're drinking body brain coffee or any coffee any morning, why not upgrade your coffee experience with body brain creamer?

It turns it into a smooth, creamy, super functional cup of coffee. that actually tastes great. It's packed with functional ingredients like C8 MCT oil for a quick source of energy, corticeps for performance and endurance, rodeola for stress, fatigue, and mental performance, collagen to support skin and connective tissue plus salon cinnamon for flavor. Can I say this up really quick? Please.

I'm going to dumb this down for people like me. When he says functional and all that stuff, I have to take him multivitamin every day. I got to put all this stuff in a thing every day. I remember to pop up. Now I just drink body brain and I get all those things right in the cup of coffee. that I was going to have anyway. You were going to have it anyway. Okay.

One of my cups of coffee, at least a day, is Body Brain. My first cup of coffee every day is Body Brain coffee. Now I stack it with the creamer as well. Look, mushroom coffee tastes like shit, right? Everyone knows this. They taste fucking terrible. We use real coffee in the coffee, but the creamer, it literally just, it takes it to a whole other level. And unlike a lot of creamers out there, Body Brain creamer is sugar-free and dairy-free.

It's keto as well. So if you're trying to be in keto, it's a great source of fat. It's rich, smooth, and creamy. And guess what? Don't take a handful of pills like Bobby said. No mushroom sludge. Just go to bodybrain coffee. Just go to bodybrain coffee.com and use the promo code regs 20 for 20% off.

If you guys subscribe to the coffee or the creamer, you guys get 20% off and free shipping. And guess what? We're going to give you a money back guarantee. If you don't like it, guess what? Let us know. We're going to send your cash back. And that's true because I actually sent it back. And you got that shit.

I got it all back. You got that shit, dude. It's an unsustainable business model. But go there. there right now, bodybrainkoffee.com. Use that promo code regs 20. All right, where were we? I went to maybe the best concert I've ever seen. Where?

Marylandinson. No. I was gonna say. That was not... That was a good... We went to Maryland. Hey, was he out during the day at all? No. Okay, it was dark. The whole time, Maryland Manson was... It was just got dark. Because I was worried about a little day evil. I was like, if Marilyn Manson's opening, you could catch him in the sun. Somebody give me

my sunglasses. Yeah, it's so hot outside. You know what else is hot? Hot hell. Oh, sorry, I forgot the lyrics. What are they? I mean, the way he looks with all that makeup on and shit, like I couldn't imagine waking up to him with outed on. Dude, if you want to be friends with Big Jay, all you got to do is his love language is this. You go, you go to see Marilyn Manson and you go, he looks great.

He looks great. If you say that, Jay's like, oh, dude, I know. Like, it's a trick now that I've learned. You don't go to do anything else to be friends with Jay. That if you're just telling you. It's every four years. Yeah. As soon as Marilyn came out, Jay leaned in and goes, he looks good, right?

Me and Lewis like, he does. He looks great. Great. He looks like shit. Okay. He's, I mean, he's aging like fucking old cheese, dude. And I see a photo of, uh, he's all disgusting. His skin, what I said, the guy, his skin looks like popcorn ceiling.

Oh, my God. He's got Edward James almost. He's fucking nasty. He had a high enough cameras right in his face. And he's like this. He kind of looks like Marilyn Manson. Then he turns and his chin is, it's like Joe's profile. It's like, oh, shit.

His chin is pulled back and his nose is all. Joe, you're not like that. He looks like he was drawn by the same people who animated scary stories to tell him the dark. What do you know about drawing? Actually, you know what though? That was pretty funny. Fuck you, dude. That hit for a while.

That was a great way. No, no, it was delayed. A lot of things are hanging in the air and then Bobby saved him with his fucking. Bobby goes, I just put it together. Dude, I got it. That's fucking funny, dude. That's mean and funny. But Marilyn, it's awesome.

I'm a text Jay. He, there's a thing. Here's what he's saying, because he got rich. List and Jay are like tight. He got really fat. And now he's not as fat. He got really fat and fucked up and was on ketamine and couldn't sing. He got thin, but he's still, me and Lewis were like, he looks good,

but he's still hanging over his corset a little bit on the side. Oh, yeah. And he's doing this a lot because he's really proud of his arms, so he keeps on flexing, but his arms stink. Yeah. His arms aren't actually good. Yeah, it's like Hulk Hogan when he got old. Yeah.

And he's just over the weight. Nick Hogan is talking about making his wrestling debut. Okay. Okay. I score this video. Let me see some more action here. Oh, yeah. You know, he looks good.

You see the side there, the little, you can see where it's holding in a little bit. He's also old enough that the end of his concert, him taking out his contacts in the mirror is funny, where he's like, is that good tonight guy? Yeah. He's like an older man. If I was that old, I just wear a dress. Yeah. Just wear a dress. It flows down.

It's nice. But he was great. He was awesome. Rob zombie stinks. Rob zombie. He did? Every song sounds the same. I'm damn dumme daum deem do m d'em d'num d'num d'nobd b'nibreep.

Yep. I am the escrow creep. Manamah ma'amana nina. That's good. He's what he did that really aggravated me. He made the crowd. He just made, his thing is to make you feel like shit. Right?

Like, dude, you guys aren't. I don't know. Jersey, you might not be the best crowd. Cleveland was better. Atlanta was fucking rock. Literally nobody cares. We're all like Maryland was better. We saw him eight minutes ago.

Wait, so rock zombie? Nobody closed? Yeah, he closed. A spooky cowboy. Now, the visual is cool, but you get, it's also the same kind of visual over and over again. He has Halloween decorations from Home Depot.

Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like blow-up robots. It was a blow-up demon. It's like, and they just unblow. And then a guy comes out and a blow-up. Yeah, he's like, I'm a monster with one eye. It's like, all right.

But he can only move, he can only move every thing move like this. He goes, whoa, aren't you guys freaked out? Yeah, Madeline. All the evil on stage. Maryland went back and then it just raised him up and he just looked like... Yeah, it was all the devil imagery with the upside down crosses just rule?

Yeah, dude. I don't know what up down crosses. It's like the... It just rules. Do you think Rob Zombie, like before the show, he goes, hey, are you doing all the anti-God stuff? Because I was going to do some of that. Well, that's the thing, Rob Zombie...

I wish Rob Zombie was doing anti-God stuff. Rob Zombie's like, ooh, spooky monsters. Yeah, he had Frankenstein on the back of his jacket. Oh, a fucking piece together, retarded guy, is your scary? It's like, Marilyn's like, now, I'm worried. worshipping the dead. I am not. Like, fight God.

I am not kidding. I'm not kidding. And Rob Zambi goes, you ever hear stuff that goes bump in the night? Rob Zambi's like, he's like, he saw like the original

like universal monsters and he was like that's scary. You know what's really scary is the mummy. Yeah. I'll fuck the mummy up. Watch this.

No, he's going to do his light a cigarette and he's gone. Yeah. I got the mummy right here. Yeah, I'll put a fucking, I'll put a shock collar on the wolf man.

I'm done with him. Every time he marks old, unmuscular, Dracula. I use Mallorampton set to get Dracula away. That is funny that he's like, Rob's on the side of the stage, being like, he's going too evil. He's really fucking. They co-headline. Yeah, they co-headland.

But Rob's on me close. And Marilyn has a show, first of all, the music is much more dynamic. So from song to song, they just sound different. There's different eras. Granted, he did only play three songs from Antichrist and nothing before that. So no portrait of American family, and it smells like children. None of that, which is like the best shit.

Were you mad about that? I mean, I saw Maryland. I was a fan of Marilyn Manton during, like, his peak Antichrist Super Star. That's the first time I saw him. I saw him at Giant Stadium when they tried to ban him. Oh, yeah? Right? And we went to...

Like 99? Was he called? 97. Damn. Yeah. You mentioned that during the show. Yeah, yeah. And it was...

At PNC. Yeah. So, yeah, they tried to ban him. And I remember, we were kids, dude. It was the first time I saw Pantera, Fear Factory. Oh, yeah. The West 97 was retarded. That's a crazy.

It was a crazy lineup. And it was the first time that Black Sabbath got back together after like 25 years. It was their first reunion. And Marilyn Manson came out. And we were like, I mean, this is like my peak. Like, holy shit, long hair, like just Islander way. Oh, yeah. Way into Manson.

This is gay, Rocky Horror Lewis. Yeah. All right, Pete, I'm Curry. Yeah. So there was like a booth up in the stands. And Marilynne Manston stops. He's like, you see that booth? That's where the owner of Giant Stadium is sitting right now.

everyone salute that motherfucker we're like fuck yeah and the whole crowd well I don't like this one bit I don't like this this devil man is getting everyone to see I told you it was gonna be a problem I said he's a very bad man

and listen the devil is still the devil in the Old Testament as he is in the New Testament get them out I don't like it The Quran is a different devil Yeah shit Yeah so but Maryland's music is so much more dynamic than Rob Zombies,

who every song is the exact same fucking song. And he's, in between, like, the stuff he's doing, you can tell he's just feeling it, like, in the moment. Zombie, it almost looked like re-hurt, like a Britney Spear. Don't, dump, don't, da-dom, ba-dump, ba-dump, uh, who's in the spooky club? Spooky Club. Yeah.

Monsters and deep. Ooh. And creepy crawly, spooky things. I can't get into this. Maryland's suck his own dick. Just like 20 minutes ago right where you were standing. Who, what if a bat! Came out the sky!

I mean, you gotta give Rob credit those. Every day's Halloween in my household. Hey, Monster Mash. We just watched fucking Marilyn Manson. Yeah, he threw a candy. Oh, no, he did it. Dude, but he did, he's 70. Who is?

Rob's on. Is he? Seriously? Yeah. So that's crazy. That he's moving that. Yeah, dude. And he shouldn't close.

Marilyn Manson is 666 years old. But when Rob came out, he looked like Gandalf. He looked like a wizard. Yeah. Because of his hair and his beard, he's old. So he was just kind of looking out. It's also fake dirty. I don't like that he does this where he like, his aesthetic is that he's covered in dust.

Oh, or he's a chimney sweep? Oh, what's that? Just that you just clean a bunch of houses in there? 601. Like I said, 601. He's Bobby's age. That's fucked up. You're up by a decade.

That's fucked up. full decade. I also heard he was an asshole. He was like a dick to Jay. He was a dick to me once. 60, Rob Zombie? Rob Zombie was a dick to me. You guys are hanging out with Rob Zombie? When I was like 16 years old, me and Dave Green from Salty Blackfire, by the way, Salty Blackflower making

a reunion show at Skankfest this year, the original lineup. The OG lineup of Salty Blackflower, baby boys. You're going to be playing drums? Playing drums. All right. We're just going to do like a bunch of 90s covers and then like three originals. Great. It was going to be sick. Great. Make sure it's Friday or Saturday, please. Yeah, 100%. Great. So

what's it called? He does have a dusty look, but if you probably met him, he'd smell like amazing. Yeah, no, it's fake. From Connecticut pieces that he crows down. He goes, you know I get the dust flune in from the Sahara. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, dude, it's just, it's fake dust.

I don't like that. He goes, can you guys dust me? I'm about to go on stage. Let me put my goggles on so I can look like I was riding cross-country and a motorizedigler race. That's so gay. It's so gay to do that. There's nothing gay.

Like Marilyn Manson, obviously, it's pretty. gay because he puts on a lot of makeup and does stuff like that. But he commits and it's like scary, spooky. Rob Zombies, it's like, I don't know, it feels like the grandpa and the Munsters. Yes. That's what he feels like. It's like, whatever it is, it just thinks. Yeah, it's like macho man, dirty macho man.

Dirty macho man. Matured man now, if he rose from the dead. I'm a real zombie. He literally is dressed like macho man, but no hair. Like culture is not a costume. Brains, dig it? Yeah. Do you put on?

Fake dust? He had to get signed off on the sleeve. Zombie macho man, hold on. He goes, explore it. Go with it. But he goes, have some fun. I like the business conversation while mach man is still alive. He goes, hey, so I'm thinking about going on stage with like these ribbons.

He goes, I like the idea. You glazed over the fake dust. Who's doing that? Yeah, he's too, him knowing he's a dickhead. Dude, fucking. Dude, zombie macho man is hilarious. Brains? Brain snap into a brain?

Elizabeth is not, she's dead, too. It doesn't do it for me. Now, the ghost in the corner, is that one of his ghosts? That one is the Home Depot decoration? Alums me and Lewis want you to do is just more of more zombie macho man, please. No, it's really, you know, besides brains, what do you get? What do zombies really say? They did talk in Return of the Living Dead.

Oh, they did? Yeah, they did. That's when they started talking. Fuck you, this hurts. Bub. I'm in a lot of pain. Play some of it. My mom told me when she went to go see that,

the one with, I think it was returned to the living dead or day of the dead. It's the one with Bub. She saw it with my father in the movies. And that night, she didn't realize how racist she was being. But she was like that night,

they were like lying in the dark. And then he just opened his eyes real wide and smiled. She just could just see the white of his eyes in his teeth. And he was like, I'm not Hector. I'm Bub. Jesus.

And she started going, ah! She shot some heroin. That's one. Sleep. She goes, geez, you got to chill me out. Hold on, I got to tie up and put it off. There's the robot guy.

That's him? That's the guy who walks behind him like he's retarded. Yeah. Yeah, it's not scary. There's nothing scary. When Marilyn comes out, it's upside down crosses. It's creepy and like, what the fuck. And he comes out and all black walking down like fucking Count Dracula.

You have to act spooky with Rob Zombie like when a kid dresses up for Halloween. Oh. Oh, uh, oh, oh. I think we have a vamp of vampires here. But there's a robot But you can run away from him You want me to give you his candy And then you'll give it to him later

Yeah, none of these were the best concerts That I saw this week I saw a great concert this week You take over, go ahead What you say? What the fuck is that? He's letting you headline Well, I was about to say the concert I saw

And then you What? Cut me off with your concert? Well, why don't you learn how to go, hey dude, give me a sec. I got a concert I want to talk about You? You?

Yeah, why don't you say that? What would you say if I cut you off? You cut me off every fucking time. Not on the show. In life, you cut me off. I follow him around my car. I was like, nah, God damn it's Lewis again. You cut me off downstairs.

I'm on the fucking cross. That's what you do. You're a cutoffer. I'm a cutoffer. James has been... You don't do it. You do it in a different voice, so it's not you technically. I can't get in trouble if I cut you off.

Dan's not cutting you off. Zombie macho man. Zombie macho man can cut us off anytime you want. Just so you know. No, would you want to do? You guys have cut each other off so many times. I actually don't know who's turned it is to talk. No, don't fucking get us against you.

Shut up. Go ahead. I'm sorry. No, I didn't want to cut you off. No, because I want to hear your content. We've grown. Yeah, we've grown. Somebody hasn't.

We have. All of us have. I know, but you don't even realize you cut him off in the conversation of the cutting off. Just now. His most recent sentence was cut off. I wish you were cut off. I cut myself off 13 years ago, folks. One day at a time.

Yum, yum, yum. Remember my idea? I still want to shoot this idea. WWFAA or WWAA. And it's like macho may have been like, you gotta take it one day at a time, brother, or whatever. There is more power, yeah. Marilyn Manson's sober now, so I want to see Marilyn Manson at AA.

That's really funny. He goes, well, it's like, always know that you are not in control. I want to hear you know what conscience. What concept was the best country you ever have? I know I hit my rock bottom when I wore the skin of one of my fans. The guy goes, Jesus Christ. Or someone making Marilyn Manson go, Christ, he goes, and I lost my kids. I woke up.

One of them was dead. And Marilyn Manson goes, that's really fucked up. Him being weirded out by the actual A.A. He can't even be anonymous, though. It's Marilyn Manson. You're like, you're sitting there like, let's fucking. Hey, what's up, everybody? I'm Mark.

A Marilyn M. Maryland M. And anyways, I was drinking a bunch of Absinth having a really nasty orgy. Yeah. I was drinking absent out of a human skull. And I said to myself, how could this be more evil? The lady that follows goes, well, at first it started with some wine after work.

I was out of meeting with Ozzy once. That's crazy. His story, he fucking murdered. He killed like he was doing a set. I mean, Ozzy, that's unfair. Him dropping in. I remember it was annoying because he had all these like 900 bracelet's on.

So it was just like, ging-a-ling, so he was just moving. And his hand was just jiggling. He told the story that was fucking about cocaine and a dog. That's great. It was hilarious.

You know what it would have been really shitty is if his story sucked? If Ozzy's at your A meeting, he's like, One time, I drank about three beers. I said to Sharon, Sharon,

I don't feel good. You go, three beers? Have you seen his daughter lately? Yeah, she looks crazy. She looks crazy, dude. She looks like one of Maryland fucking rob zombies's props. They need to not, they need to get that girl off O's epic.

She looks fucking. The mother, too. Did you see the mother? They're weird, dude. They're weird as fuck. If you say anything bad about Ozzy, they come at you, like, online. There was the, uh... Attack my demons.

Get them. It was, uh, who's them from Twisted Sister? Dee Snyder. Dee Snyder was like, he was like, yeah, right. He was like, I didn't really write his own songs. And then they were like, dude, you know, never disparage the name of Ozzy Osborne? I like that. I like that.

I like that. You ever see Kelly Osborne when she tried to be on one of those view shows. Yeah. And it was when Donald Trump won, and he was, you know, deporting Mexicans. It was the first term. Oh, that was great. And she goes, and my question to you is, if you deport all them, who's going to clean your toilets, Donald Trump? Yeah.

And then all the other girls are like, they go, no. Can't really say that. That's not, I meant, well, I'm saying why. It's the funniest. Which is funny because she's making the best point. Yes. Yeah. It's a perfect point.

But her getting caught on it with a bunch of liberal people around her. One of the best, like, fucking egg under face. moments in the history television. If you keep deporting him, who's going to clean your toilets, Donald Trump? No? Not really? Okay, well, what I actually meant was. Now, I wasn't finished.

If you let me go. You know all the Spanish people are like, that's true. That's true. Mr. Trump pay very well. You see, have you seen the, when the mother was on a show with the Playboy Playmate? Can you pull up Kelly Osborne out? We vamp so long.

I didn't mean to cut you off, but I'm just saying, like, we're talking about a visual, specifically talking about how she's. she looks, and I'm just waiting for it to pop up, right? Of course. But continue. Maybe we can hire Jamie away from Rogan. It's fucking insane. I mean, there's three producers. Who, yeah, but one takes photos. That's not her. Rob Zobby should have her on stage.

That's Dolly Warren's skeleton. That was before they buried Dolly. What were you saying? There's another video of Sharon on a show with, like, Playboy Playmates, and she said some bad shit about Ozzy. And she went, oh, okay, hon. And she said, I just got to clear my throat.

And she just walked over to grab her big fucking Starbucks tea, iced tea, and just walked over and just threw it in her fucking face. Damn, Sharon Osborne did? And, yeah, it was, I love that. You ever watch the insane clown posse? It's fucking crazy. Whoa, dude. That's really her?

She looks like Skeletor. Yeah. Hey, man. Ah, back to my castle. I did like Chubby Kelly. That's crazy looking. Who's going to clean your toilets? Chubby Kelly is what we used to call you.

Hey. Used to. I like it. I have an idea. A pitch. Please. Remember when... A bitch pitch.

Rory Scoval and John Dorr went and did Conan at the same time. You guys should both tell your concert stories the exact same time so no one gets cut off. Oh, I like that. And we should get another Starbucks run. So the best concert that I've seen, it's top three for sure. Maybe the best concert. Maybe top two. But just consider.

for one second. Please. Would it be better to Bobby mention his bullshit because now you're going to do a half hour, a half hour on fucking Superbooper. And then he's going to go, well, I saw Dynamite kid fucking play at Max's high school or whatever. I'd be sick, though.

Tell me why Dynamite has to do it boys in the hood. Tell me why Dynamite kid's a bad fucking concert. God, say. It's not a wrestler? Dynamite kid is a dead wrestler. Dynamite Mac is a band. I don't know who Dynamite kid or Dynamite, whatever is. I was just fucking... Because it's not a superhero, you nerd.

Fuck you, you fucking independent douche. What are you allowed to see? I went to go see Kanye West. In New Orleans. In where?

Norlands. You tried to say it in Ireland. Nileland. I'll down on the bayou I'll see a Kanye West. I thought you were going to be a Gita. Oh, I got a little cup of

Jumbola and took my lady to see a Jew-hating black man. It was fucking great. Look, dude, he was so good live that I was like, oh, I don't care that he's fucking bad shit. I get it now. I was like, oh, he has to be crazy. Dude, here's my thought about Kanye. Please.

Did anyone ever think that Kanye went like, this is how good I am. I'm going to melt the fuck down. Yeah. I'm going to piss off everybody. No, I think it was good. And I'm going to rise above it. Yeah, I said it a while ago, people are like, Kanye's never coming back. You can't go against the Jews.

I said it very public. I was like, you guys are idiots. Nobody actually gives a fuck. It's just creating people. Like, it's creating more of like a. a thing about Kanye. And he came out... Also, there's never been a better time

to have publicly hate the juice. Yeah, yeah, this is the time. You were ahead of your time. Way ahead of my time. It's very acceptable now. It's a problem. The first third of the concert

he comes down, he's just on a globe and he's wearing a mask. You don't even know if it's Kanye. He's wearing a full, like, hood over his head. Sick, dude. If you're having a bad day, you go, hey, you're Kanye first half. Well, at one point I'm going on,

I was like, is this really Kanye? You don't know. And I thought it was going to be the whole concert. And then this Globe thing, dude, it gets fucking... You've seen videos of the globe stuff. Dude. What's the globe?

He's like walking along like almost like a quarter of a globe. The whole bottom of a football field is this fucking giant globe. He made it like... He's just standing on top of it. He's got no opener. Yeah. It's him just rapping on top of the globe. And then you don't realize like how many songs I like of Kanye West.

I mean, it's fucking crazy, dude. It's so cool, dude. And so then it gets... But it turns into the moon. It starts spinning. It does all this crazy shit. There's a big screen that comes up. He invited a rapper.

I don't know who the rapper was at my concert. but apparently did it with Little Wayne when Shane saw him. What? Yeah. And I mean, dude, it was... That's all John. Whatever. Every fucking song, like, just banged.

It was so fucking good. He was, I mean, legitimately, like... You know, and he does an encore. What's the song where it just starts off with the... Runaway. Dude, he just hits a one note. Hit the one note. I mean, the crowd goes...

He just goes, Bing. And the hours are the hour. And I'm empty wrong. Look at this. There's all the... That's a very coolly stage. When he does all of the lights,

like, yeah, when the chorus hits, bro, they use every laser beam that's ever been used. Like literally the whole. Is it such a good show that you know,

it literally means they don't use the Jew lasers. Oh, those control the weather. Do you think Jewish people see this show and they go, all is forgiven? You know what? You a bad shit nuts back there,

but after that, good God, we're back in. 100%. 100%. 100% there's Jewish people go, oh, hey, it's so good. That's like the gays with Chick-fil-A.

You see that video where all the gays were lying in front and two gay guys were just, sorry, I just like this sandwich. Yeah, I mean, dude. They really were. I took my San Francisco Giants hat off when that happened. I was like, I'm getting these nuggets. Yeah. I don't want to be associated.

I don't give a shit what like a CEO's political views are. Do you make a good chicken sandwich? That's all I fucking care about. Yeah. Once gay marriage is law of the land, it's like, well, who gives a shit? Yeah. They can do whatever they want. Gays are free.

So let's eat. Chicken. Do what I want. Any old time. Bobby, who'd you see, bro? No, I want to hear more about this because I'm interested in this concert. I want to go see this. No, listen. Shane was at the table one night.

Gillis. Sitting next to Esty and he said the same thing. He goes, it's the best concert ever ever been to do. And he went, he went Kanye. And Esty went, what? I asked a black couple in the elevator. Shane's so famous that he didn't even. Me and my girl were in the elevator.

There was a black, like an older black couple. got in the elevator and we were about to go to the concert so we're like you guys going to see conga tonight there's old black up and we're like no are you out of your fucking mind there's a church group downstairs can you give them can you give a message to miss the west it was it was fucking it was incredible dude and by the also you went crazy if this is a question for you guys right would you not lose your mind would you not would not send you into a spiral if your wife left you and sort of dating pete Davidson. Like, would that not send you? Like, if Pete Davis was hanging out with Max

and fucking Dawn. I would love it. I would love it. He has a big house up near me. Max gets to ride. That's what I was going to say. He's got a big cock, too. He's got a big cock. I would love it. I don't mean to be mean, Bobby. I don't mean to be mean, Bobby, but

she fucks like a fucking... I just bought Max. I just bought Max a dirt bike. Is that right? He goes. Hey, Max says he wants to call me that now. I don't love. That's cool you? I'd be fine with all that. He's just going to call you Mr. Robert. Yeah. That's fucking great.

Pete Davis and Bobneyed Mr. Robert. Yeah. Hey, this is going to call you Mr. Robert. I'm not going to lie. Your bed's really uncomfortable. I bought a new one. I'd be fine with all of them. I know, exactly.

Pete, fire away, my friend. Oh, dude. Kanye's like, I'm a genius, Kim. And Kim's like, he's kind of mad. He's like, he was like 24. Dude, if your wife just starts fucking a 24-year-old kid, it would, and Pete's great. I love Pete.

Pete's a really nice kid. But also. Also, Kanye is bipolar. He's like a crazy person. He's actually, like, diagnosed. He has... Pete also has to be 30 by now, right? At the time, though, there's like five years ago.

I bet Pete right now, you see the photos of him for his new movie? He's fucking shredded. Jacked? He's jacked. He got all of his tattoos removed, too. He's jacked. Like when I used to wash my action figures when I draw on him. He is fucking jacked right now.

He's 32 now. Okay. So if you want to hook up with my wife, if I'm... Please do. Just do it at your house. Not mine I want to watch the mentalist In peace

Hey Bobby, sorry she has In my home in five days You go Didn't even notice dude Honestly, didn't even notice Honestly, I got Max when he was a baby We're good Have you tried a chicken catch a tall

He goes Oh, American top suing It's incredible It really is I know I love it I'm a blueberry cobbler Now can I ask a question About this globe thing

Is this is he just This is all the lights That's a lot of light When the chorus hits Does Kanye warn about epileptic? People just falling over this thing. How was Kanye? He go, well, I split my skull.

But it hits, like he's doing the song, and then it goes, and then when the chorus hits, it's like every fucking laser beam goes off and you're like, oh. What were you like? I don't know what to do. I was like the robot. Lewis's girlfriend goes,

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. He's never done this. He's never done this. Someone, please help me. Give me a wooden spoon. I need somebody hit me your wallet I gotta pin his tongue down

I'm so scared Louis it's me come to the light Louis is like all the lights But how is he just Is he strapped into the ball Yeah he's got a thing on his On his waist Because I'm afraid of heights I'd be fucking terrified

It was fucking really cool He's like Yeah no oh It'd be funny if Shane bust this out now His next tour I mean sick I'd sick just because I'd want to open And then just be bouncing around the club

Hey you guys are going the apps just be fucking jumping on a giant globe. I mean, that's a mini-sphere, right? Yeah. There's all that is. No, no, no, no. What do you mean? No, no, no, no.

It's not a mini-sphere. Why is it not a mini-sphere? Oh, you mean like, the sphere in Vegas, he's sorry. It's the same technology. No. Why not? The sphere is actually a free. The sphere is such a specific thing.

It's like, there's not what that is. And the sphere was like, I thought he meant literally a series. No, what's part? No, but it's, isn't the technology that they're using on the outside of, the sphere the same thing as that? No, by the way, those are literally lights. If you go, you ever seen, like, the behind the scenes on how they made the sphere? When you look close to it, it literally looks like individual lights that are this far apart.

It's actually pretty crazy. It's really cool. Yeah? And the sphere, it's, like, the whole thing is, it's built like in, like, the indoor, the sound is a part of it. Let me rephrase my question. It looks like a mini sphere. It looks like a mini sphere. All right.

Yeah, yeah, we have nothing to sphere except sphere itself. Yeah. Fantastic. That was fantastic. What? I genuinely was worried. and then a very pleading. No, it's great.

What concerts do you go see, Robert? It's an inflatable shell. That's sick. It's a what? An inflatable shell. Oh, no shit. It's like a Rob Zombie little thing. Is it, though?

Rob Zombie goes. Bobby's like, it's stuffed shells? Do you put cheese on it there? That sounds fucking great. Little nilky. Hi, Bobby. I've noticed that Don said you don't compliment a cooking.

And honestly, I've been eating every drug. It's not crazy. I've been since you long. Max is a good big brother. He loves my daughter. He's a big brother. Max is his big brother. He goes, man, this is what I was missing my whole life.

The movies, the fame, all that crazy hot pussy. I just need a good woman. And a kid. Do you be taking Donne and Max rules? So awesome. Because he literally could. Yeah. If he wanted to, he could.

Oh, my God. God, if Katie and Myrtle left me a note that said, went with Pete Davidson, I'd be like, yeah. Fuck. Yeah. I get it. I'd be fine with it. Why not?

What'd you see? I went to a country concert. Well, all right. I went to Zach Top. That sounds. There's another Zach? How many Zacks are there? Luke and Zach.

What do you mean? There's Luke Bryant, Zach Bryant, Zach Brown, Luke Bell. Zach is a Jewish name, too. Is it Jewish country? I don't know. Why don't I think There is a Jewish country It deserves to be

Corporate Joe No, that's the opposite A corporate dog Yeah, that's the opposite What being pro-Israel? Now is the opposite Kind of, no, that's corporate Hating the Jews would be corporate

Not real corporate You're on Israel side Yeah You get A-PAC money Yeah, dude Check Joe's donations Tell us about the concert I went to a country

I went to a country concert up in New Hampshire. There's no one new. You know, it was open. No, absolutely. No, it's great. No. It would have been,

but can I tell you, though, if he goes. Can I tell you about a country concert, though? Max is actually a fan of the guy. I don't even know who the guy was. Zach. But Marcus King,

Marcus King was opening for him. Oh, shout out. He's the best. I said he looks like Shane a little, doesn't he? No. No. Not any of all.

Not that's young him. Now he's a little chubby. He does look like him. Damn, dude. He's got that full Canadian tuxedo on? Wait, So Marcus King is opening for this man?

Yeah, the dude, it flipped me out because I know Marcus King. He was awesome. He's the best. He hooked us up, got us backstage. Good at it, too. He's fucking great. He's with his band. The Marcus King, they're fucking insane.

He came out, killed it. It was great. We went back to say hi to him again. We come back out. Zach comes out. It's fucking packed. And it's all young, hot country people. Country.

Boys. Tight butts and jeans. There's nothing hotter than a fucking chick who likes country music. Just Daisy Dukes, side tit. Brother, you're talking to a man from Colorado. Oh, God, dude. Yeah, brother. And it's all couples and chicks, and they know every fucking word.

This guy's really famous. I've never heard of him. Never heard of him. And he, every word singing every song. How big of a venue? It's like, it's the PNC of, like, Gilford, New Hampshire. Yeah, yeah. You turn the air off, it's fucking, I mean, blowing right on me.

Well, the air's on cold and loses mad. That's my. Can I say something, though? Something's bad. Out of all the concerts I went to, there's something about a country concert that, I don't know, dude, it's just romantic. Like, well, the nights are, the long as a lot of it. All the songs have meaning about, you know what I mean? There's, like love.

He says black people can't have meaning. No, it's either soulful black music or country music. Country music is fucking... You know what I mean? Like, Maryland's zombie. It's great, but there's nothing. Love each other and be good to you. Yeah, it's not.

But the dude... If Marilyn Manson was singing about his pickup truck. I remember my first beer on the bat of my truck. I met a little girl from Texas. Friday night football. Being a boy. Country Maryland is so fun. I remember my first beer on the fall of July.

I was like, I don't know what you're doing, but I don't like it. I don't know what you're doing, but I don't like it. I like my chicken fried. Don't beer on a Friday night. The other things that cut you, like... I'm going to do, and then the thunder rolls. Actually, I've got his... I love Garth Brooks.

I've never seen Garth Brooks live. I would go to a country concert. I'll go to Garth Brooks. I'll go to Garth Brooks. I'll go to Garth Brooks. I'll go to Garth Brooks. Is he touring? 100% yeah right now let's let's let's call the thing roadie you let me say this jersey jersey jersey jersey

dude garth brooks concerts if you saw them there it's in the round he's fucking murdering have you seen it i've not watched the videos of it oh online yeah i watched back in the day he did uh central park and i almost went check is i was i was maybe 12 years old i so it was funny is i like garth brooks because my sister like garth brooks i like my sister only like garth brooks because sean michael's favorite the wrestler his favorite artist was garth brooks so it all came from my sister wanting to fuck sean as a teenager. Did she ever get a chance to? We did meet him a couple of times.

Oh. So, Russellania, WrestleMania 10 fan festival. Big. I hope Pete Davidson takes your sister. Living all on my roots. I showed up in boots. All right, D.C.

And ruin your black tide of fare. D.C. We should do a show the night before. D.C. Hold on. Chocolate set. I'm in New Hampshire. That's happening now.

Yeah, this is like in a couple weeks. Oh, yeah. I can't do the... He's got to be coming to New York, though. Chicago. I could do Capital One. He's going to be in New York. I could do Capital One.

dude. Where's that? Capital One. I can do Capital One. In D.C.? Oh, I'm in Hartford. Son of a bitch. We're not going to do any of this. Yeah, this is like a week. Yeah, we're all working every weekend. I'm working every other weekend until 20. Is he coming to New York at all? No.

He doesn't come to this liberal hell. Dude, I'm telling you right now, I'll go to... There's a vibe at a, like, a country concert where it's fun. You don't feel any anxiety. Just say there's no black people, Bobby. Yeah. There's an easy solution here. Dude, I don't know.

Something about it was just comforting. That's not what I'm saying. First of all, Maryland, Rob Zobli had very little black people, too. It's not that. There's just a black golf are crazy. You see a black golf. You're like, oh, my God. There's something very fucking family-oriented.

It's just everybody's polite. Everybody's nice. Nobody's fucking crazy. It was such a great time. Damn, this is the whole concert for the whole tour. Rosemont, D.C., Orlando. Fuck, it ends in like, Three weeks.

We should have had this idea a long time ago. God damn it. Denver Ball Arena would have been perfect. Was he in New York yet, though? If he's not in New York yet, the second half of the tour, which will be next year, will be in New York. You know he's going to the garden. God, is he?

Of course, he's not going to do a major tour and not play New York City. He could do Meadowlands Arena, dude. Yeah. He would definitely. We're going to go see. When he goes there, we should all plan it and go. What about Zach Brown? I'm actually a Garth fan.

Yeah, me too, you fuck. We're singing the songs. What are you? you want to know for me. Those are the hits. I mean, I know that I don't like that. You want to go as Christmas album? His most recent.

His most recent evening, Mama doesn't know she's leaving till she hears a screener slamming rubber squealing giz her jam and local country station just up blaring on the radio. Pick him up at 7-in-and-they're headed to the rodeo. Mama's on the front porch screaming out of warning go. You better get your red head back in bed before the morning. Ye-ha-ha. That was really good. You didn't even know what the song is.

His most recent New York City. Shut the fuck up. Bro. Garth has got you hyped, bro. I would like to know in the most recent. Yeah, Danny, don't fucking jack-bitch him out. He's giving us the- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Danny.

Your voice is jarring. Lewis has a point. You do something. He's always eating something. Yeah, spit out your gum. It's like the guy that calls games for a box or something. You always go, clear your throat.

When did he play? 2016. Are you louder than us? Make yourself lower. You should have a little fucking, like... He doesn't know Mike present. 30% of our volume should be a producer voice

coming in in the background. Very tiny. Very tiny. So I'm sure. When was it? 2016. I would say you're like, now you're like 80%.

Did you feel the tone? In 2016. I wanted to give you information. Yeah, so to say he comes on every tour, he hasn't been to New York City in 10 years. But maybe he hasn't toured. I'm saying that on this tour, he's back.

This is a big thing with him. How do you know? You're just saying it. Yeah, you're pulling this. Yeah. Directly out of your ass. I'll bet you $100. Yeah, maybe he'll do it.

A thousand. I don't want to bet a thousand. Thousands is too much. What are you? But also, he's not skipping the door. As dog's boyfriend, Pete Davidson, $1,000. Yeah, dude. I'd like you, Bobby.

I'll cover him $1,000. Yeah, Bobba, do you want to just lose him at my own? He's coming to New York. I'm with you. 100 bucks, 100 bucks. What's the time period? Within 2027. Yeah.

2027. We're going. Oh, not New Jersey, New York. How about? No, no, no, no. It's New York market. No, New York market. Let's make this.

New York. Let's make this better. They said the garden. No, it's the New York. No, it's the New York. New York is a specific state. I never said the garden. I said New York.

I said New York. New York State. New York State area. It's a tri-state area. Nope. Tri-state. New York is the bet. We already shook.

It's Connecticut, New Jersey, in New York. I listen. You know that. Forget about the 100. The other person has to buy that person's ticket. Oh, 400, probably. That's going to be like, yeah. Deal.

Especially the seats we're going to do. But New York? Wait, New York? No, because this is unfair. because Giant Stadium is the New York Giants. That's what we go for context. That's not, they call it. It's MetLife now.

Sure, but it's the market of New York. Not now. What? That was New York. No. That's New York. Hold on. Time out.

It is an arena. That's what it says arena. But they could play or Brooklyn. They could play Barclays, where it's Barclay. No, New York. Listen. This counts as Albany.

This counts as fucking Perkipsy. Buffalo. This counts as fucking Buffalo. This counts upstate. In the state. I'm giving you the fucking state. I'm taking it. I'm fucking taking it, ho.

And it's an arena tour, Bobby, you're in the money. Park plays. I just wanted to do that. That was great. All right. So, Bobby wins. You have to buy my ticket. Or you, I buy your ticket.

See. The ticket. And wait a minute. Ticket where everybody else is, we have to sit. No, you're on the lawn. Yeah. That's so funny. Dude, I'm on the lawn at the arena.

He goes, I can't even fucking see it, dude. And I'm out. You're at Brian Hill. Fucking up, Brian Hill. Brian Park, lawn. Nice. Let's do some plugs. We're rolling.

We're rolling for a. Dan already did plugs. No, I did a whole transplant Which Norman did now He did? Yeah His head's all shaved He's telling people He's doing shows

He's walking around With the bandages on? Yeah, he looks fucking crazy That's nuts Oh, no, mark on hair Shit He got, but he got the plugs You didn't get what I got

I got the truth I got the hole No, he went to Albania No, I know, I did New York City bitch Didn't he got the doctor The side of his head shaved And then they plugged the thing in

Isn't that the same thing? No, they cut the slice out And they put it That's what I think he did Plugging it up, baby. September 11th and 12th, I will be at the Comedy Bar in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. It's going to be a lot of fun. Then right after that, September 17th, 18th, Portland, Maine, with the great Nick Rochafort, special guest feature, who's one of the funniest people on the fucking planet.

After that, I got Belmore, New York at the brokerage, Rochester, New York for the first time, very long time, North Charleston, and a lot more. I moved my, I'm doing the Biltmore in January now. Nice, dude. on a Friday. They put me in a fucking Irish pub on a Thursday. I was like, I'm not going to a different country on a Thursday night. Yeah. Fucking Irish pub show.

So they moved it. All those tickets are being accepted. It's the same promoters just being transferred over. Biltmore is going to be in January. Where is the Biltmore? In Vancouver. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, come see, yeah, comes to me live.

Find my book, Knives and Spoons. The audio, I just recorded the audio book. So that's going to be out. How long did I take you? Was that a nightmare? It was like two full days of recording. Reading your book? Reading your book?

My last. I literally couldn't get through the last chapter without crying. I just couldn't get through it. I just couldn't. It was fucking brutal. So if you want to hear me cry like a bitch again, guess what? Buy the audiobook. And, yeah, subscribe to Gas Digital. If you love the show, the uncensored,

the ad-free version of the show pre-released, the on-demand library, yeah, all at Gassdigital.com. Use that promo code regs. Save a couple bucks a month to support the show directly. Does this come out Wednesday? Next week. Oh, all right.

I'm in Royal Oak, Michigan. This weekend has a comedy castle. And of course, side splinters, October 1st through the 3rd, comedy that Carlson had to cancel. Toronto, we added a show September 24th. Also, October 12th, I'm shooting a special for Dan Bulger in Boston. It's a place called Deep Cuts to Sunday. Let's fill that up.

It's going to be fun. And October 22nd through the 24th, Philadelphia Helium, and then I got Raleigh and a bunch of other stuff. Did someone fart? No. I mean, I did at one point in my life, but not recently. I will be in Hartford, Connecticut at the Hartford Funny Bone, September 18th and 19th

for four shows. And then I'm going to be in Albuquerque at Kazada's, October 2nd and 3rd. I think all the shows that the comedy fort and four cons are sold out. And then wise guys in November, Salt Lake City, November 5th through the 7th. I'm going to be there, DanSoter.com for all live dates.

Listen to Soter the podcast, punchup. Dot live for the mailing list. for when we announced 2027 dates and also watch season three of Tires out now on Netflix. Robert? What's up?

Go to punchup. dot live slash Robert Kelly. My special's up there for free. I got a bunch of uncensored YKWD shit up there. And my dates are up there. And when I'm around, you'll know because it will bring up the closest date to you

if you subscribe there. I'm going to be in Saratoga at the Comedy Festival on September 11th and 12th. It was an accident. Good. Nobody heard it. The microphones wouldn't pick it up. Everybody in the room heard it. It's fine. Interrupt me during my fucking plugs.

What? You said good? I said, go ahead. September 12th. September 26th, I'm at the Brooklyn Improv, October 2nd. Portland. I'm going to be in Port Charlotte for the second and the third at Versanis, down in Florida, and then Boston, October 18th, 16th, and 17th.

I'll be at Laft Boston. I also have the comics come home is coming up in November 2. So I'm on that. It's the 30th year. So it's going to be a real fucking big, big show. So make sure you go to that, get tickets for that. Lake Charles, I'm all over the place. So go to Robert Kelly, punchup.com.

Live slash Robert Kelly for all my dates. And follow me on Instagram, you fucking losers. Got to talk about one of my favorite sponsors, which is Ultra. Ultra. A lot of people are out there doing the nicotine pouches. They're doing caffeine. and all this stuff which is not good for you.

Okay? Ultra pouches are designed for mental clarity, your hands focus, nicotine-free, caffeine-free. It's neutropics and vitamins in a pouch. Alpha-GPC is the neutropic, super powerful. With my ADHD, it fucking kicks my brain into high gear. And it's also got B-12, which the doctor prescribed me. So now I don't even have to take a B-12 pill every morning. No dizziness, no stomach rumbles, just clean energy and sharp focus.

Plus, they taste absolutely amazing. Ultra pouches come in five great flavors, cool mint, winter green, tropical watermelon, and the new blue rat. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch, delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use the code regs with a Z to get 15% off at take ultra.com.

That's take ultra.com code regs. For 15% off. After the purchase, they're going to ask where you heard about them. Support the show. Let them know the regs, don't you? Quince. Quince is the best. What is a quince?

What is a quince? What is a quince? was a little cool. Guys, I have two pairs of pants from Quince. They're the only pairs this isn't them. Like show pants. Like kind of jeans. I don't even know what you call them. They're fucking awesome pants. It's all I wear. If you see me wearing pants at a show,

I'm wearing Quince. It's the best. Your closet should be full of things you love wearing. That's what Quintz is the best. My wife just got a big old package from Quince. I didn't think I was going to like Quince because I have a certain style. Sure. And then I went on and I ordered a bunch of stuff. And when it came, I love

it. I do all my shopping at Quinn. I really do. I got the I got a jacket. I got a sweater that's fucking... I got the cashmere sweater. Yeah, yeah, the one with the lines. Dude, beautiful. Quince is really... I got some good stuff.

Really good. Yeah, absolutely. Find your next fall favorite to Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash regs with Z for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince also has amazing household staples. Hotel quality betting, bath essentials, premium cookware, and I love this, Japanese steel Knipes.

I love it. It is really grown on me. Quince. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Quince. Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash regs for free shipping. Hey, everybody. Mint Mobile's summer sale is still going. I know it's the end of summer,

but, you know what, get out from under the thumb of big wireless. Right now, all mint plans are just 15 bucks a month for fast, reliable coverage on the nation's largest 5G network. I love it. I switch to mint. The whole family, dude. I'm spending like 90 bucks a month for like, four or five phones. It's crazy.

I was spending $150 per phone line before I switched. It was crazy. It's insane. No, it's the best. I told my parents, you've got to do this. Get us all on this plan. Yeah. Please. It's costing you an arm and a leg, mom and dad. Bring your current phone number and number over to Mint. No long-term contract. No hassle.

Sign up online. You can start your 3-6, 12-month plan today. You have to get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month. Go to Mintmobile.com slash regs. R-E-G-Z. That's mintmobile.com slash regs. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash regs. That's it. There is no catch. Up front payment of $45 for three months required.

Sounds like a catch. There is no catch. Now for the catch. There's come the catches. $45 for three months. It's insane. $90 for six months or $180 for 12 months, equivalent to $15 a month. Taxes and fees, extra initial plan term,

may, initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot capable device required. Availability speed and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com or details. Back to the show. I showed James. He's been watching the old half hours.

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, so he's watching Big Js, Bobby's. Kurtz. Nice. Nick Swartson. Not the old ones. He was watched up to season 15 is on YouTube. Do you watch fucking Nick Swartson?

I don't know if he did He's just way in Like Malini's Great He loves Malini Yeah Dane Cook He loves Dane's he loves

He thinks Dan Cook's fucking hilarious I tweeted at Dane He's he posts something I was like Dane Let us make you Let's save your Let's make you cool again Come to Skank Fest

Come on Skanks He didn't respond At all That's there yeah That must be That would be terrifying If Dain Cuck He would be adored

Everyone grew up Oh the real comedy fans Everyone thought Vicious Circle Was incredible Yeah Everyone thought old Dane Cook shit was awesome. He became kind of corny, not because of him,

but because of like the fan base of like hot chicks. It's the real people, the knock on Matt Rife is like the fans aren't like the comedy fans. But old school comedy fans love old Dane Cook, harmful of swallowed. Like these are fucking. Right album. Yeah, like legit, really fucking funny shit. Do you think there would ever be a- No, people who say Dane's not funny or retarded.

Yes. He literally created a new genre of comedy that people mimicked. Yeah. Vicious Circle was... Like Mitch Hedberg. I started in 04 and everyone was doing a day in cooking. He's doing an impression of Paco right now. Ice caught.

Yeah. Look at that. Well, he's got a new documentary out about when his brother took his money. Share the trailer. Which podcast do you want to see me on? Guys put Legion of... Brother, him on Skanks. Him on Skanks would rule.

But also him on this. Skanks would be the one to go to... Because that's... that clears the way for everything else. Yeah. If he went to Skank Fest, went on Skank's. But the problem is...

Live Skanks! Yeah, but the problem is... Skank Fest with you? It would be crazy. Do you don't think you could? With him? Yeah. I wouldn't do that to him

because I wouldn't want to... Sure. Make it about him. If I'm on that, it's going to be about... I don't want to do that shit. If you're going to do it, let him be on with the boys and let them do their thing and hell have a plan.

I was hanging out and I saw a black person, black people or less than. That's my dean. racist dean dude i wanted it to i wanted it to go somewhere i don't know and i hung in there as long as i just did the rob zombie robot no no no no no no no no no we enjoyed it we enjoyed you fuck off not a bomb dana if we relish in it we relish in it we relish in shittiness take you absolutely eating crow and walk and go i'm just stick around here for a little bit be right though him on skanks with you by the way ran his he's fucking killing it ran as easy he's the franiziz he's fucking

I love that. Please tell me he's the permanent. Okay. I haven't been. We're going to do the bit for a while and like keep on changing it after like six weeks. Dog. He's so good that I wouldn't want him to like leave and then get something else where he couldn't do it. Brother duck to water.

Yeah. Yeah, he's great. He's great. He's the perfect. He's the man. He's such a good dude. I fucking love him. He's always been the man.

Yeah. I think his family's going to come now to Jamaica since you don't want to come. That'd be a great. That'd be a great mix. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be a great mix. He's the fucking man.

But yeah, anyway, I showed James all the half hours. I said, he, dude, he was fucking losing his mind. He thought you were so funny. Dude, it was so funny. He was like, Bobby's fucking funny. He didn't say fucking, but he was just like, God damn. Like, because it was, it was, that half hour was, I think, your second half hour. That was my first.

It was, I did a 15 minute. Really? You did a premium blend? Premium blend, and then a half hour. You only did one half hour? One half hour. What was your background? Joe and I didn't have one.

I told them, I just want my name. Yeah. Because everybody, the guy before me had his state or city, because he would, you know, he did a joke to it. You did a half hour after Big J? No. No, I think so. No, you were season 13, and Big J was season 12. I don't know, maybe.

That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't have, I don't want, they were like, what do you want? Another image would be great on the team. I don't want anything on my background. It just said my name. And then it was a- He did make fun of your go-tee, though. He thought it was hilarious.

Oh, my Dominican Bob? That's when I was Dominican Bob. Yeah. I went a sexy Puerto Rican bob to chubby Dominican. And then I went full Mexican bob. But I mean, it's 21 minutes so tight. Like everyone's doing like their best shit that they ever wrote. By the way, for everybody.

They're not pandering. No, no, no, no. Guy before me, he did all right. There was a little. And then I went out and I, I remember the lady in the front row laughing a certain way at a certain joke. And then when I saw the thing, they took that thing. And gave it to him. Pieces of shit.

No, listen, they got to sweeten it. They have to sweeten it. They got to sweeten it. My question is, have you shown James Jim Gaffigan's half hour? James has seen everything Jim Gaffekins ever done. That presents his own.

Yeah, that's a banger. In front of the car. I saw Jim Gapkin in 2001 when I first started coming to comedy clubs. I saw him working on the... Why, are you addicted to mayonnaise? That's my favorite. He goes, I don't like mayonnaise.

But why? Are you addicted to mayonnaise? And he has the joker. He goes, you ever see a movie 10 years late? And you go, wow, heat's a great movie. They came out in 96. He goes, I want to talk about it now. That's such a good thing.

That half hour, that and Swordsons and Danes are. I got to watch Swarrow's first one's fucking great. Patrice's is pretty good. That's the Pepsi can. That's a great bit. That's a great bit. Regens is the best. Yeah, Regens is great.

Atelles is awesome. I think Danes half hour is what blew him up. Yeah, and Patrice does the Mike Tyson eating pussy is. Shut the fuck up, bitch. Shut the fuck. That's out fucking 10 this day, my favorite. God damn, dude, growing up on those was the shit. Coming home from high school, putting on Comedy Central and watching like three half-hour specials in a row and being like, that's great, that's great.

That shit. I feel bad that kids can't. I mean, like, my desktop, I had, like, every season. It's like somebody gave me, like, a file. Back in the day when it was like you would, like, download a zip file. It was, like, everything. I had every Comedy Central half hour up until, like, you know, like, you know. probably up until your season for a while.

It's funny because when we were coming up, we had albums. You had to watch like an album, listen to an album or watch like an HBO special, but there wasn't that many. And we, like, you watched albums. He's like, it's not working, dude.

Listen, listen to albums. Dude, it's just going around. I think this generation now, there's so much, they're learning how to do stand-up from watching just millions and hours of stand-up. They're learning the temple of it. Like, we had to go on stage.

Sure. And just fucking learn standards. This generation, they're fucked because they're, they're overexposing themselves too early. You need to go and fucking kill boars in the forest for 10 years and work up your fucking powers and then fucking come out.

You need to bore people in the forest. Not you. Not you personally. No, not you. But I say, I'm not funny. I'm not boring. I know. You're hilarious.

I felt Lewis's energy as soon as they're boring. Me? I know what you mean, though, because it's like, I feel like I exposed myself too early, and I was, like, five or six years into comedy by the first time anything. Yeah, but you guys were still, you guys were watching comedy. You were killing very early. There wasn't a lot of, there still wasn't, there's so many fucking stand-ups now. It's stand-up.

There's millions of it. Do you remember being ashamed to tell people? Yes. Being like. I still him. But being, like, legitimately like, what can I tell them that isn't stand-up comedy? When you would tell your parents, when I told my parents that I'm doing stand-up, they were like, well, what are you going to do as a backup?

Yeah. I'm like, nothing. They're like, you can't just do that. It was stupid to do stand-up comedy. Because it was, there was no money. You're never going to do anything. Also, it wasn't even though it was like no money. Like, when I started, there wasn't a path to money.

Like, it wasn't like, I was like, well, I'll do this and do this and then I'll do this, and then I'll be making money. It didn't even, I didn't even know anybody made money. The first time I heard about, like, Big Jay making $1,200 at a weekend, I was like, Damn, if I could ever make $1,200 in a weekend doing comedy. This is crazy. That's the top of the mountain. I was opening for Nate.

We were on the road. We were driving somewhere. And Nate, we were talking about Hannibal on Hannibal Burris was on Howard Stern. And he was like, you know, I'm going around. I'm getting these like, you know, I'm working these clubs making like nothing. I'm making like $3,000 a weekend. And Nate, I remember going, $3,000 a weekend. That's nothing to this guy.

Yeah. Bananas. I'd kill for $3,000. I'd kill for 3,000. And they were saying you should pay him a banana. But Nate was like, now, Nate was like, 3,000. That's insane. And Nate, like, 3,000 is like, you couldn't even get me on the phone.

Now Nate can afford to kill Dolly Parton, so his park will be the most part of the phone. Make it look like cancer. I want the park. She's on Sacred Land. Ah, shit. Sorry, Joe's in cookie mode, so we're not going to get him. Joe leaves the show to eat cookies for a while. This is his heroin?

I'm right here. You go, what happened? This is his. I'm the alpha. Everyone stops and stares at me. We lost Joe. I'm here. I'm listening.

There's four of us. We haven't paid the same. Remember Alice and Chains? Unplugged were they to give Lane Staley a little bit of heroin to do the show? That's Joe's cooking. I just watched it. Can you turn the AC back on? Because I'm fucking dying.

Yeah, it's the best unplugged. It's not even close. I remember when my stepdad and my mom, we were in a fight about something about, you know, me doing what I'm doing. And I just did a college and I had a check for like $3,000. And I went, yeah? And I go, is that? really that's not working out

and my stepdad looked at it because what he has to do to make sure he went and he just got up and left I felt like shit all for being a silly fucking fruit yeah did I bet you the story the first time I was I got offered to headline at cap city it was when

Rich Miller was running it yeah and a guy who looks and sounds exactly like Dennis Miller he goes he emailed me and was like hey what do you get paid does that thing where he's like what would you get for a weekend and I was like This is exciting. I got them on the hook.

I'm going to, I'm going to headline. This is very exciting. But I didn't, first of all, they should always just say, here's what we're offering. Sure.

They put it in your thing. So I asked DePaolo, who was like my comedy dad, which is the worst person to ask. So DePaolo goes, I don't know, it's fucking. It's five shows.

You got to make at least 500 a show. So that's 5, it's, 2,500, but you don't want to just say the minimum. So say, 3,500 plus travel and hotel. And I was like, thanks, Nick,

you're the best. And I was like, let me 3,500, and Richmillo was like, are you fucking out of your mind? You piece of shit with your credits and your draw. You're a $1,200 guy, $200 travel, and a hotel if you're lucky. And I was like, you got it, sir, I'll take it. I just went over by $2,300.

That's so funny. You go, that sounds so great. Just tell me the fucking numbers. Back in the day, it was funny because, like, the clubs would have a special event. Like, Bobby would be coming to town, right? He would get a door deal or whatever it was, or a sellout bonus, but you were just entertaining

whatever crowd was showing up. Like, you weren't drawing anybody to the fucking shows. Yeah. That doesn't exist anymore. They don't even do that anymore. Doesn't even exist anymore. It was great.

Every club has, even like, shitty C clubs, it's like all like fucking actual comics who can draw a little bit come through, which is detrimental to their, like, to my draw, because all of you guys draw better than me. But I'm saying, like, they don't, like, there was something so valuable

about going and doing a weekend where no one knew who you were, and you had to get through five, shows and make them good for people that they were like, who are you? I don't know, I come here. I'm at the, I was at the mall. I'm here. Well, Benintin said it best. Back in the day,

if you showed up a club and there was no people there, the club owner apologized to you. Yeah, nobody said it. He said it. He was like, the club owner, apologize to you. Come on, dude. That's not funny. Now, the comedian apologizes to the club. He's like, I'm so sorry, I didn't get anybody.

It's fucked up. It is. It's funny. He's not even coughing. It's not even how he's dying. Still doing a show every day. Yeah. He's showing up to work. Every day. All right. Well, you know what?

But I remember that. Horrible. I remember going to a club and then being like, I don't know what's going on. Must be the rodeo or fucking something. And you go. Yeah, but the clubs were always responsible for promotion. They did radio. They did newspaper.

They did ads. They did all that. We were not responsible for any of it because we couldn't. How do we do that? We can't take an ad out in the pay. We just showed up. When did all the radio? did all the promotion they paid for,

and that's how you got into the club. That's how you built an audience, too. Going on radio and murdering, all those fans, I got to go see this guy. And then you keep those people. That's like Calta. That's how I got big in Florida on the West Side. There's certain markets, though.

Calta still works. If you do Calta, people come and watch you. Preston and Steve in Philly are fucking brink. I just did somewhere. Where the fuck was I was hot? An older lady brought me to it. The fuck. And it was like pretty good.

I did two radios. Oh, Denver. Yeah, morning. Denver is great. Because I was like, I asked the crowd, I was like, did anybody hear me on the radio? Yeah. I would say five people. Like, well, still.

Yeah, that's great. Five people. They brought somebody that's 10. Yeah. Next time it's. I got 15 people there. The third of the crowd for being the radio this morning is pretty good. That's a good return.

But now it's, they don't, they don't do any. They want all the, all the press is on you now. On your. And they still charge you like they're doing the press. Oh, they still charge you $8, $5 grand for a promotion. It's like when you talk to. with the way you're supposed to where you go, fuck you, I'm bringing the people

they go, yeah, you're right, I'm sorry. But now I just think also the people, people are less likely to go see someone they've never heard of. That doesn't exist anymore. I disagree with that. I think there are still clubs that do that very well, like Denver Comedy Works, Comedy on State Madison.

There's a couple clubs. Well, they have an email list that's 30 years old. That's what I mean. They've built trust. This is why Tampa's so great. Yeah. Side spliters is like that. They've built trust with the club.

They go, like, if you're bringing somebody here, I know they're going to be pretty good. Providence, Rhode Island. And, you know, sidesplers was the shit club in Florida. Dude. Side split it was, I mean, nobody played it. B.T. took that over and fucking changed it. Well, Bobby started using, like, O&A guys a little bit.

He started. Sure. But he said that he said the same thing. But it was B.T. who, I think, egged him on to start using younger guys. Well, Bobby Jewel, you'd come in, and he said the same thing about me. He said it about Samarillo. And he said it to Mark Norman while he's scratching his wig. He went like, he goes, you New York guys aren't draws.

And you're like, all right. This is why he's paying us. 1,200 a weekend. And he's like, you just don't sell tickets. And you go, well, the second I do, I don't think I'm going to be nice to you about it. And then BT took over and you're like, you rule BT. We were in the parking lot and he was like, man, it's tough, man. Club's not making a lot of money.

And we're in the park going, hey, is that the new Mercedes convertible? He goes, yeah, you want to ride? Yeah. I was like, get, that's a fucking $150,000 car. Shut the fuck up. You're doing good. Once you realize how much they're ripping you off, you're like, you guys had us by the balls for so long. Yeah, BT's great.

BT's. BT rules. Oh, he's the best because he uses good comics. Yeah. That's what's crazy about that moment in your career where you're like, please just fuck me over. I can't even get fucked over. Yeah, fuck me.

Like I will come and do Wednesday through Sunday, three shows Saturday, and I'll net 200 bucks if you just let me. And you can't even get fucked. Bobby used to make me do Thursday, Friday, three Saturday. Three Saturday. And a Sunday. Six, eight, ten.

First time I said I didn't want to do a Sunday. he was like, who the fuck are you? And you go, I have something on Monday. And he goes, what the fuck do you have? It was like Billion's Season 1. It was like, I'm filming a showtime show. And he's like, no. Like, wouldn't let me out of it.

Yeah, I know. It was a nightmare. Because these owners were just literally like little mafia bosses. Yeah. They just ran their shit and they were like coming. It was like wrestling. Yeah, it really was. It was like very regional.

Very territorial wrestling. Yeah, it was, man. All Bobby's ever wanted to be called was a mafia boss. Like, I guess he's protected. He can die now? Is he dead? He's dead. No.

No, Bobby's alive. Bobby, Joe? Yeah. I actually like Bobby. I've always liked it. I love Bobby. He's my, I love that type of. I don't think I was before my time.

I love Bobby. Hey, my kid. Come here, man. But he would hang out at the bar. When he actually left, he would still come back every once in a while, like when I was there on a Saturday night and just hang out at the bar. I'm good. But I don't know. That type of dude, I'm fine with it.

I like it. I like this. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I always got along with Bobby. I've been to his house. Oh, you did? Yeah. Went to Hooters with him.

Yeah. He's a character. He's a guy. I tried to bring James to Hooters. I was like, I was like, we should go to Hooters over the first time. He's like, Dad, I don't know if I'm ready for Hooters. I was like, you're literally the perfect age

for fucking Hooters. What are you kidding me? He's like, can we go to Chippendales? He goes, I want to go to Thunderdown Under. Also, can I do it? Max, he ordered something off a Timu. I mean, what did you get? He opens up as a flag.

Nazi flag. No. It says, I think it says, it says tities, guns, and America. Oh. And I was like, dude, I love the flag. You can't hang it up.

It is pretty cool. Tiddy's guns in America? Yeah, it's great. Oh, boy. I can't argue with any of those three. Oh, dude. I was up in New Hampshire this weekend. Don was shooting a 380 at the range.

Max was on a lever action with a suppressor 30-30. Pete had a chain gun. He goes, Hey, Max, if you want to feel power, you should come over here and hold those one. That's crazy. What's your step-down on? He goes Bobby Who's Mr. Bobby?

Hey, where's Mr. Rob or not? Would have Pete bought a fucking house Right on the lake? Why are you staying in that little thing? That's the size of my generator. You like swimmer. You ever seen a trampoline, you know? The whole room's a trampoline.

What do you mean they got a boat with an electric motor? Oh, that is that? You never bet on a yacht? Fuck me. I let James hold the gun. I like, look, we have to like, look, We have to go and I'm going to show him. Damn, we almost didn't do this podcast today.

No, yeah, he's like dead. He's like, that's... Yeah, you can't let him hold. He's not. I'm going to take him shooting, but he's just not... He's not the kid who wants to fucking... He's just not into, like, violent shit like that. Max's an NRA certified, took a five-day course from eight to three last summer.

Oh, James took a six-day course, actually. And then he took another 10-day course. He's setting up a duel. He took up a hunting... He's certified. He's hunted-certed. He said he'd go hunting. Max,

Max is, but he's really, I never let a hold gun or two who was on, he was actually at a instructor. Then he, that guy did it. I didn't want to do it. I don't want to, because I'm a fucking, I forget shit all the time, but. No.

I mean, it wasn't loaded. Yeah, you shouldn't let him hold it. Dude, check this out. Pointed at his face. He goes, whoa, that fucking, you run up on me. I'm fucking, gag, guy, guy. He's like, dad, please stop. I'm taking my, uh, my safety course this week.

Good luck to that instructor Yeah No I'm fine I've shot guns before I think it's fun I've shot guns with you Oh yeah Yeah yeah

Shooting guns is fucking awesome It's fun as shit That's fine I'm gonna go I'm gonna go to the range Probably once a week For the next couple months And like once every couple months

Just to keep myself You know Sharp Sharp but I got a little fucking CLA laser fucking sight I don't really gotta be much sharper God damn

If this podcast is played In your court case And we're all fucking Witness This is where you go. I know we were joking around. I was joking around at the time. I mean,

like, joking around at the time. The only time I would ever shoot somebody is if they are in my home with a weapon. And they work for guns. You know, but you don't need much, you know,

I'm not shooting them at fucking disson. I knew you'd bring a fucking weapon out of my house. Paco, bring it up quicker. Paco's always got to wear a fucking vest. He goes, I'm going over to Lewis's. Sk.

Yeah. I got, yeah, yeah, we'll see what happens with it. It is intimidating. what having a gun in the house it's intimidating oh i got a thing for you by the way i got a a lockbox for you up at the tiny i'll bring it down this weekend i got a really nice look oh you got

yeah okay forget it i won't give it to you yeah i got you know the biometric all that shit what do you got joe i got um i'll be at side splitters i got the first and the third be there for new zee oh that's good yeah no but uh yeah it's intimidating how many gun in the house it's like i think it's fucking i love it do you jerk off holding it Dude, I hike with a gun now up in New Hampshire. I have my... You're going to shoot yourself in the foot. Dude, I'm telling you right now, it's so...

My knee, dude. I fucking shot my knee. What is the luck? I've said this before. You feel so much more comfortable in the woods hiking when you have a gun. So you put four in that bear and then it claws your head. While a 380 is not going to... It might not stop a bear, but it will fucking scare it.

Scared away. So if I shot a bear in the head with a 9mm gun... You kill it. Yeah. I think so. But it might not. I don't know. That's crazy, dude.

I mean, when you bear, you have to use a big... Squeeze it in his head like Wolverine? Hey, Bob. Oh, my God. And he talks. Wolverine County Bear! Yeah, dude. Well, when they shoot a bear with a rifle,

they have to make sure when they walk up on it, they have to... Hey, bear, they've got to make sure because it might still... If you didn't hit it in the long heart or an artery, it might still be kicking around. I'm right here. I would never kill a bear.

I would go... deer hunting, but I would, like, I watched the guy, that guy Steve, I forget his name, uh, meteor. And he did a bear hunt. And they just had this beautiful, big black bear on a mountain, just eating blueberries, chilling, looking. I love these blueberries, motherfucker. And then they...

Ain't nothing going to happen to me up here. I'm eating these blueberries, having a hell of a day. And then... What a beautiful day this is. Oh, I appreciate it. Then you just see the bear, you hear bang, and he just goes, look, fink. And he just rolls down a hill and then he's just like on a log and I was like I don't know if I mean dude but a bear

A bear will fucking kill you a deer not a black bear black bear's not gonna kill you Yeah but a deer I feel bad you know what I will say The deer eating my hydrangeas every day in Jersey So I kind of want to go out with my handgun to start blasting them and they're fucking Yeah it's gonna go through a fucking fence and kill your neighbor's kid Dude fucking deer's oh well we lost our seven-year-old because our neighbor was shooting at a deer eating his weed I wasn't sure to get your kid. It's going to be like the fucking corn video

where the bullet goes through everything. Deers are like rats though. They're fucking... Don't say that. In Jersey, they're fucking... Yeah, they're everywhere. They want you to kill them. The first couple times, they're like majestic

and you see them walking in your yard, and then they're eating your fucking flowers, and you're like, okay, well, this is the fucking... Yeah, I don't mind killing it. Genuine news. Plus, you can eat it. You can eat the deer. I'm not...

To eat a beer... Who's gonna eat a bear? Bear meat. Yeah, but it's... I better be good. Why don't you take... a knife and just go fucking get that deer out of there. Just fuck it right of the neck.

And James like, Dad! He's like holding it to that. Hold on, Traips. Look at the life. Look at the life. Leave its eyes. Fuck the knife. Do a triangle. Just get him in a leg lock. Damn. Snap its legs. It's not working. He's coming closer.

Ding, ding, ding. We should wrap it up soon, boys. Yeah, let's wrap it up. Wrap it in. We've got somebody coming up here. All right, guys. Well, that's it. That was a great show. It was awesome. Good to see you, boys.

Great to see you guys. And we'll see you guys next time on the regs.