Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Pete & Sebastian Takeover

Episode Date: June 26, 2015

Pete Correale and Sebastian Maniscalco take over this special episode of YKWD. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yos escucha a Robert Kelly. It's podcast, no rules. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic?

Oh, what the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides to the coin

Do you think my podcast is popular? I might affect somebody's life. You never know Go to have to do it everybody. Oh, it is very exciting right now. The voice you're hearing is not Robert Kelly. You know what that, you know what that, Robert Kelly is not here right now. I am comedian Peacoree Ellie. I'm here with comedian Sebastian Manascalco. And this is a takeover of you know what dude the Robert Kelly podcast because you know what dude Robert Kelly is on a new Dennis Leary TV show and I wouldn't be surprised if he ever does this cast again

He's too big for this. Yeah, he's about to be too big and that is a voice. I'm sure you're all familiar with yes Chris Chris scope. Oh, yes, everyone knows so let me, Sebastian, say what's up to the people here? We're raising our... Yeah, no, this is, gotta thank everybody for having us in here. This is totally a different set up than we're used to. Pete and I typically have a podcast we do weekly called the Pete and Sebastian show, and we do it via Skype. Now we are in a studio with eight chairs,

the amount of wires going throughout this, there's cutouts of Kelly. I mean, we don't have any of this. Should we get some of this? That's exactly before we started. I'm looking at all of the shows on Waiacast and all of you have them all on a blanket with their symbol, you know, like everything from DePaul's face, the Jersey jerks or whatever, and we got nothing. and Robert's an old friend and both in town, Sebastian's playing a Gotham comedy club all week,

two shows a night, it's all sold out. And Pete said bananas and New Jersey this week. So it's still available! All right. Until soon, baby, I got a new I'll especially coming out on showtime, probably in November. And that's gonna turn the tables and that's gonna make me

that's what you want to get a blanket that's it you'll be on the blanket after that so now it's a pleasure to be here man and we'll open we'll open you guys here today and you like what we do enough and then maybe you'll start listening all show christ we want to thank you want to thank robber kelly for allowing us to come here no problem yeah thanks for coming in guys yeah i didn't have much choice bobby just said, Pete and Sebastian. David, Pete and Sebastian, they're on a show here. They're on a Thursday. All right. We'll do it. And then he's like, who else do you want

on it? Now it's like, we'll just us. Yeah. We're coming. That is like 90 empty chairs. We got nothing to say. We didn't know there's so many empty chairs. But yeah, we took the subway over here. Typically don't take the subway, and I got to thank Pete for kind of guiding me around that. And I smelled piss in the subway. I'm not typical New Yorker, so I don't know like the ins and outs of how this all works. You never lived in New York, right?

I never lived in New York. I always visit, don't take the subway. And I'm like, is this your in? And Pete's like, yeah, when he kidned me, people piss all the time down here. I'm like, okay. You look, you saw one's dig wasn't out, to be honest. Yeah, I mean, when I lived on the Upper East Side,

sometimes I would like go out during the daytime, like I'm gonna write, I'm gonna write outside, and I go and I'd sit on a little bench on right off the FDR drive, overlooking the East River, and one time I look up and there's this big black homeless guy, and he's just jerking off Like towards me like coming towards me just rubbing it and I just move I

Didn't take a photo So I need to get out of here You take the subway enough you'll see a dick at least a month At least I'm one I want to one day come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you'll see a homeless guy's ass a lot of the times because they'll just start peeing in the middle of the subway. Wow. Honestly, I've never seen it. It lived in New York City my whole life. Never seen the guy jerk on off in public. Really? Not one. Seen it in India, not in the US. So how long have you lived? Did you grew up in India? Yes, no, it just been a couple times. And then I saw a trail of jizz in the morning i was walking down

the street in new deli just a little pocket is on the street and uh... that was the closest is there any truth to that in certain parts of india there's no toilet paper and people wipe their hands with their hands so they only shake with their one hand uh... i think the the one off he's not blowing at all. Yeah. He's not

I mean, don't even go what the fuck is on the back? He goes, oh, oh, so you've heard of this. Well, the one hand thing, I think that's more of a Muslim tradition. Yeah, I've heard of that. They don't I think they went with their left. They shake with their right or something like that. Why? But it has not been to do a wipe in the ass with the other hand. No, I think it is. Yeah, that I think it is the reason why. Yeah, you know that? They wiped their ass with the other hand. They reserved one hand for wiping their ass. Do you always wipe?

I think. I shouldn't be like the goat. I'm not even Muslim, but yeah. But I don't want to sound too ignorant here, but we're assuming they're wiping their ass with toilet paper, but just the fact that that hand is being used to touch their ass. Sure. They would never want that hand to touch another person's hand.

It's a courtesy. Yeah, it's like a sign of respect. That's ironic, because I'm righty. So I actually shake everybody's hand with the hand that I wipe my ass with. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah, I never do it with my left hand.

It's always my right. So why do we got to switch that up? No. I guess so. Yeah. So anyway, listen. Pete and I never typically talk face to face. So we're definitely getting used to this whole face to face thing. And I got to ask you

what is on the earphones? That's like a little carpet? Like a little carpet on your phone. Oh, yeah, yeah. They get me a little ear mic. Do, but you have one do I got them? I think you I don't think you do Yeah, yeah If you want you can take someone else's ear No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no That side does you rolls down this way. Yeah, so the left there comes down We used to have a can we used to have that couch was over there and then people would just fall asleep at the time on the couch You just sink right in yeah, so Bobby was like we need chairs in the room now everyone just rolls around yeah I Got I got a Ask for something. Yeah, let's do it. But my mom listens to this. Oh, she's not gonna listen to this

Let's talk about it. I Need an idea to get my mother a 70th birthday present. She's turning 70 July second and I was gonna get her a trip to Hawaii Because she's never been to Hawaii before. I was about to suggest the crock pot It's a big one. I was thinking of her earrings. Something like that. It's a big thing.

I know the earrings are from a mom's. But we all chipped in. It's like on her bucket list. But she recently went travel to Las Vegas to come see her perform. And she didn't like the plane ride. And she's like, listen, I had a big traveler. I not ever going to make it the Hawaii. So Hawaii's out. Now I got to kind of think of something else to get the lady. Right. Right. And I'm kind of hitting the speed bump here. Did she fly first class to Vegas? No. Why don't you fly

first class to Hawaii? It's a totally different experience. First class coach. It's not it It's the way the plane moves. It shakes. It screws up or equal. Librium. Oh, oh, oh, she don't want to she don't want to do it Not about a high high high level cruise We talked about that. She don't want to do that either because of the motion sickness. Okay to traveling's out traveling is out Yeah, I had an idea at dinner with Lana of the motion sickness. Okay, so traveling's out. Traveling is out. Yeah. I had an idea at dinner with Lana. Maybe a car. A new car?

New car. What car could I get the woman? She's 70 years old. I'd get her like a Italian. Yeah, she's Italian. Cadillac? They love the Cadillac. Yeah, but she's not like a Italian. Yeah, she's a Italian. Cadillac? They love the Cadillac. Yeah, but she's not like that Italian

Okay, you know she might maybe it's like a two-seater, but I don't know what maybe one of those the punch buggy ones The new Volkswagen One of those little oh the bug bug. Yeah. Yeah Work I don't know maybe because she like to drive Yeah, I mean not that she likes to drive, but she needs a new car. What if he did something the opposite just something so insane like Just somehow hired like I mean could you even afford? I don't know if it's possible Tony Bennett

What do you think Tony Bennett runs for a song? I don't think he would come and do a song before a concert. No one song. Do you think he'd come and just sing one song? If he's in LA? Well, well, we're gonna we're gonna do a dinner for my mother on her birthday. Maybe at the restaurant. You think he would come to the restaurant? If Tony Bennett lived in LA and you had a limo picking him up and it was less than 25 minutes from where he lives to the restaurant to sing one song for your mom. How much? 50 grand. 50 grand?

50 grand. I'd say 50, yeah. Okay. Listen, there's a country club on Long Island. I was talking to the guy. They're so loaded. They offered Seinfeld 150 Lodge to come and do 45 minutes. He said no. They offered Leno that. Leno wanted 200 and a private jet. And they said that's a little too much.

But like that's the insanity would deal. Wow. Okay. Well. Yeah. So Tony Bennett. I mean, maybe some earrings then. Yeah. there you go. There you go Well, what did you get your mother for seven earrings? We all chipped in and we got her Earrings are necklace or something like and what was the reaction on that was she did she enjoy it? I mean, you know that she look at and go this is nice, sir. Yeah, no, you get the reaction you wanted from the jewelry I don't think there's anything you can get that's really going to cushion the blow of someone being 70. You know, she's like, yeah, nice.

I guess I'll enjoy him for another couple months. Are you an only child? I love my sister and I. You both ship in or you get to one top each other? Well, my sister is going to take care of the dinner and I, me and my wife wanted to do something. Oh, you bring Tony Bennett in for a song. I think Tony Bennett for a song. That's nice.

She's gonna forget the dinner and say, wow, good job. That's the thing too. As you start to, like, you know, you get more and more popular financially than with the pot grows, it's like, I remember reading once, like when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were married, they got, they went to me when Brad Pitt's brother and he goes, Oh yeah, it was great. We all got troopers for Christmas.

Like Jen Aniston gave them all a trooper, like the car. Oh, okay. You know, and, but she said it was from all the siblings, but all the siblings are like, yeah, we can't afford a car. It's obviously from Aniston, Brad Pitt. Yeah. So like, you'll never, even when you're sister though, you'll always say it's from both of you, right?

Oh yeah, no, it's not like we're gonna try and top one another. But I mean, if you get somebody a car, are you not responsible for the insurance on that? Do you go, Did your mom already have a car? She has a car, but do you get somebody a car? Say, I'll just make the payments.

You got the insurance? How's that work? If it's in your name, then you got to pay for the insurance. But if it's in her name, would she get the pay for the insurance? Unless you give her money. It's in my name. The car would be in my name, so I'd have to ensure the car, right? I'm part of the gift. I'd buy the car and fold, which I'm sure you will. I'd put a bow on it. Pal, it's in your driveway. It's out of my hands. You go red. Yeah, no, you got to get her old car taken away. Yeah, you got to get a register in her name

You got it, you know, she's gonna pay me insurance. She's already paying car. Sure. Yeah, it's just too much I get like a weekend car. You know, they got car you driving the weekend She don't even have the other one. She don't even have a place to store a second car speaking of cars I was in auto zone two days ago where I live online and I was next in line and the guy's phone rings and he answers it and the guy starts asking about some sort of battery and he's explaining what battery it is and I even have my daughter with me and I do one of those like that and the guy looks up and he goes like this to say sorry and I go hang up on him, make him wait was here first. I go I go why don't you make him wait? I was here first put him on hold and

Then literally the guy goes I have to put you on hold sir There was someone online before you he puts that guy on hold and then I needed help that required us to go walk through the store And the whole time I'm going I feel so bad that guys on hold But I was next man and I made my fucking point There's another thing out there for you folks that don't normally listen to the Pete and Sebastian show and right now You're probably saying why would I? Completely get that we're out of our comfort zone right here. I'm literally holding myself look at his Chris Is it a way game right now? You're playing a way game? You gotta get simulated to the atmosphere on the plane of the way game

Me and Sebastian are normally never even face to face Sebastian also gets a little quieter when it's live So I'm floating out here a little bit, but we do Talk about every day. Oh, I'm done I know you're saying though they they'll you'll be Answer for something they picked the phone up because they had there's only one of them the whole store, and then they got to take 10 minutes talking to the guy in the phone. It's so annoying.

You're just sitting there the whole time and they're like, what the fuck, what about me? And why do we sit there? Why am I wrong to just lean over and say, I was next, make that guy wait. It's like he's cutting me via the phone. Don't do that. Literally look over at the person and say, I'm next, put that guy on the whole. You learn from us, man. Yeah, no, it's a learning process

when it comes to standing in line. I don't know why people that call in get ahead of the line just because they call in the phone. Even like with children, I told you about this today, when my daughter says hi to another kid, and the kid doesn't say hi back and the parent doesn't do anything about it, we have a unique opportunity here, Sebastian.

We never go live we never have the ability to to give people advice on the mistakes that are being made do we have anyone on the line that we can actually communicate with yeah I mean if you want to ask if the chat to I'll call a if it'll kill a head about I wanted to do this with Rob or Kelly and ask him questions and now he tells us we could do a take-o But and that was sitting here like two peas and a pie now listen You're doing this stuff in front of your daughter

You think she's picking up on some of this going wow my father's very aggressive I mean these are lessons your daughter is gonna be picking up on you want your daughter walking around like some maniac At home depot and auto zone and screaming at people there was a boy crying two days ago in the park And she went right up to him looked him right in the eye and those two knows and said what's wrong boy? That's wrong boy. That's what I want. Yes Communicate right now Chris right we notice show is a little sluggish. We admit that it happens I mean in other parts of the world we'd be quiet about him but 10 everything's great. Yeah, no, it's fantastic It's it's not a problem. Yes. It's all about honesty. Yeah, all right. I need a wedge for this

Do you want to move to that? Yeah, what's the problem? The only comedic humor I got in the fact that the floor is not level If the floor wasn't It's like when you're bombing just say your bombing the whole time and try to get it back up to that Oh, you ever do that when you're bombing and then you try to make a joke about bombing and even that doesn't get a laugh Yeah, then you fucked. That's it. That's when you know it's time. It's over So who's on the line? We have a couple of comments. So some soakim was says a nice chair or furniture in favorite color is a must for age 60 plus if you haven't already

Do you have a chair at your house that you sit in? What do you mean, like a special chair? Yeah, like a lazy boy? Yeah, do you guys got that? Like do you go to like the chair? I haven't loved seat. I love seat. Yeah, but I don't like sit on it and like think

or something like that. I just, I'll sit in. I honestly, I don't even sit in the chair. I use the futon that's attached to it and I eat off it I don't have like a living a little room So I don't have like a table. Yeah, so I just use that basically and eat watch TV. Right. That's the only thing I use for the love seat You've got a chair. I got nothing at the house right now. I got a couch. What do you mean? I got a you? You don't have a couch. I have not well we, there's a remodel. So we have no couch, no chair, no nothing. So last night, or last week,

on an I-8 dinner on the floor in our guest room, our guest bedroom. So that's where we're at right now. That's nice, that's like a 1980s romantic life. Oh yeah, we put a towel down, like a little beach towel. We had a picnic in the bedroom. Oh, nice, you You know that's nice. I don't know where but the outdoors that's nice. It's romantic.

Yeah so me and Lana really got heated the other day with this whole remodel. We were FaceTiming And Lana lost her cool on FaceTime and threw the phone on the bed. So the FaceTime was just looking right at the sheets. And I don't know if you ever got an argument where your wife was she's hot, but I went the opposite way. And I went cool.

Yeah. And there's really nothing they could do with that. And I've got some more. Oh, yeah. When you go like, hey, babe, whatever you want to do, you want to do that. Go right ahead. She didn't even know how to process it. But were you the reason she threw the phone? But I was, I was just asking questions to her. And she got frustrated with my, you know, because she's like, we're gonna have to move out of the house. And she's like, you know, that it's gonna get dusty.

And we gotta get a hotel room. I go, what do you think we're gonna get the money for the hotel room? And right there, she went off. And then I just kept my calmness. She couldn't even process it. She had nothing but to come down to my level. But inside I was boiling.

Because when she threw the phone, I wanted to go, oh yeah, you want to throw the fuck? But we came back down and man, I highly recommend all guys out there. If your girl ever gets a little hot, would you go to the opposite route? It's really wonderful. Because that's what she wanted you to get hot. So she hanged the phone up and that's the end of the conversation. Well, you know what? She doesn't like for me to get hot because I get hot psychotic and then she starts questioning what have I even done with this guy?

This guy's out of his mind, but then we go telling you it worked. See I get psychotic too and Jack you'll go look at you, look at the Italian temple, look at what you're doing, you can't even, and that makes me more mad because I do this, I'll go like, I'll put my hands up like not that I'm going to hit or just like I'm going to go like screaming yell and then I'll just take a deep breath, but it's like really hard not to scream and yell. And then she'll go, look at you, you can't even control it and that makes me more pissed. But when she gets pissed and I do what you're doing, try to stay calm.

Yeah. What are you saying, Chris, that makes her more pissed because then she's like, oh, what are you cool guy now? Now you're cool and you don't get hopped up. Don't get me old pissed off Pete. And then you calm down and act like I'm getting crazy for no reason at all. You're the re, you know.

So she calls you out on the calmness. Yeah. Because you're not acting psychotic. Yeah. Yeah. I like saying, I have a girlfriend, I go, why are you yelling when she's yet, why are you yelling?

There's no reason to yell right now. And then she can't handle that. She loses it. She's like, I'm yelling because you're getting me frustrated. I'm like, I'm not frustrated. You're frustrated. And she can't handle it. She hates it.

Now, we do have a kid and it's sometimes my wife's yelling, I'll go, look at you doing it. Look at you doing it. You're freaking her out. Well, she's not freaking her out at all, man. Yeah, so we hit a tipping point last week. For those of you that are just listening for the first time I've been going through this construction at my house and it's caused

some tension between me and my wife Lana. So yeah, I did a tipping point and I tell you what, it was great that we came out to New York City on Monday because we had to get out of that house. It's just killing us. Yeah. So, it's being good. Your whole house is under construction? Yeah, the whole thing. They ripped the backyard apart.

They ripped the kitchen, the living room, our master bedroom is everything's shot. We got one room that we're living and we're having picnics on them. Kitchen is the worst because you can't even. You can't cook, can't do anything. Did you know when you bought this place that you were gonna do this much stuff

or all of a sudden you just started thinking, let's do this. I thought it was ready to go. We bought the place, you've been there. Yeah, I said this is it. Look good to me. Well, looks good to me. We'll put a couple of new toilet seats on and we'll move.

Right. Move right ahead, but my wife wanted to, you know, put her stamp on it. Well, they had problems in the house that you didn't realize. No, it was just that my wife is very creative. She's an artist, so she wants to put her stamp on the place, which I get. But now the project's gone from doing a couple of rooms

to, you know, long as they're here, why don't we just knock out the master bath? And now, you know, they're going to look for tile and marble. I'm just a little bit more practical, and my wife is a little bit more of... Why not? Why not? It's going to be palace when it's done though. Whenever that gets done.

These frustrations, the boil's over. Oh yeah. Yeah, so that's good to get out in New York City for a week. We went to a restaurant called Blue Hill. There's a, did you watch that Chef's Table? It's my new documentary, by the way, on Netflix, my recommendation called Chef's Table. And the guy that they featured on the documentary, we went to his restaurant a couple nights ago called Blue Hill. Everything is like from the farm. There's a farm about 35 minutes outside New York

city called Blue Hill and in the documentary they describe how the food is you know kind of farm to table. You could taste the freshness. They brought out two radishes. Have you ever had a radish? I love a good radish. You never had a radish. I don't think they're all delicious. I'm telling you growing up I didn't like radishes, but they just bought two on like a stone. Yeah, just took the red Slices and thin a little bit because they melt in your mouth. Oh, red is no slice, nothing. Nice. I'm the stalk. Oh, yeah. So you ate the radish with the leaf? Yeah. I gotta go buy a bag of radishes, no.

That delicious. Oh, my God. How much was the radish at the plate? Yeah. It's 35 out. I don't know. It was one of these places where the radish was what they call the uh... moose bush

which is not on the not what you ordered it's kind of like a uh... kind of like a palette to wake up your palate that's how they brought it out this is gonna wake up your palate i said i need to know it was asleep but i have a and did it ever wake it up so good man they brought that before before they

started in on like the pasting menu so they brought on a couple radishes and just to clean the toilet a little radish right out of the game oh man it's nothing like a radish to wake you up did you find this place or your wife did uh... we're bit of foodies so we like to kind of eat when we come to New York City. We went to Del Posto the first night. And we had a salmonelle with the wine. And we're always interested in how do people describe wine when you taste it? Like, where do the adjectives come from? So I tasted the wine and I asked the guy, how would you describe it?

He goes, well, it's approachable. What the hell is it? Oh, man. The wines approachable. Why are other wines like angry? I mean, what is approachable? He goes, well, it's very soothing as it goes down. He goes, let me ask you something.

Are you salivating right now? After you drink the wine, are you salivating? Would you know if you were salivating or not? Like right the wine are you salivating? Would you know if you were salivating or not like right now are you salivating? Yeah, but I'm before other reasons I didn't just have a delicious wine well live and it's not going well. That's why I'm salivating You know you keep saying that in the last show we did it. It's not going well when you say it's not going well Yeah, you're turning people off to the show. I know I know I know You're wearing the morale at a room down I am I am I am talking about how you keep sliding just deal with the chair

I'm loving the radish talk. I'm not gonna. I know. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna play off the radish You're right. You're absolutely right, man man i'm over here describing radish on a stone you are you looking at me like you're gonna take a nap no i'm looking at you like uh... you know i haven't had a radish in a long time and i don't know why that is i like to have a guys um... uh... have you ever gone delved into the mushroom world because i see a lot

of these documentaries now about these guys that go out in the woods after rains and they cut all these mushrooms, and then they sell them to these chefs for a lot of money. Yeah, I don't know too much about the mushrooms. I do know there's a thing I think I saw on A&E about truffles where they go out and they have these dogs and they get these truffles. And these truffles are so expensive

They deliver them to the restaurant and like an armored car with a guy gets out and he's got him handcuffed to a briefcase It's like a whole business and if you had truffles handcuffs, I'd have a son Abba. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a big it's a big deal. They come in. They need security the charging like a you're right Yeah, I did have a truffle once that a really fancy restaurant man. Yeah, what do you think is the most expensive food in the whole world? Truffles got to be up there right they go for like tens of thousands of dollars sometimes Yeah, but what about like the the meats like the deer meat or rain deer meat i've had a reindeer in uh... in finland yeah over there it's that big over there

yeah and uh... it was not that expensive but that i had a bad reaction to it it was not good for me this this uh... there's some sort of uh... fish that the chinese eat that's a real delicacy they're not supposed to be killing like Shark not shark fin, but something like that That they like sushi to put in the sushi. No, they put it in a soup and it's like really really rich people are eating it and it's

Does anyone Google in this shit Sebastian would now be Google it is what what we do. He Google at you. Well, it's got to be truffles because anytime I go to a restaurant and they go, yeah, no, we serve our pastors with truffles right away that turns me off because God knows how much the truffle shavings on top of the pastor is going to cost. Any time I hear truffle, I go the other way. Why is that so expensive, man? Because they're hard to find. But I'm not going to bring a dog out to I hear truffle I go to the other way why is that so expensive and like because they're hard to find but I'm not going to bring a dog out the money truffle though are you like oh my

god like there's a truffle taste better than a Hershey's chocolate I don't know I mean I don't think it has that type of effect where do they grow they grow in the woods or they go certain areas like rain forest or I think they grow primarily I want to say in italy and france and they grow on uh... rotten bark i think yeah i think it's i think it's really yeah they grow in like you get any out of rondaxe you can get them in parts of the states too

man it's like these guys like special say what it's raining they'll go in there and got a bunch of it put in a basket and then these chefs you bring it to the chefs and they love it man they buy it shut up. There's some root to it is another root that's really popular what do we got anything? I can't google it right now because we're using all our internet to broadcast this right now so it's where we're left around devices. There's a lot of stuff going on here man.

This is high time. The amount of power that's coming out of this thing has shut down their Google it. Alright. Here's the thing. You know, the websites that would have that kind of information, like the most expensive foods are all like these spammy websites that like they sent so many ads like down your throat because that's the only reason that website exists.

They feed you like a little bit of information, but they make you see like 10 ads. Yeah, I got it. I got it. I got it. To get to each fact. In the US, edible truffles are located in the forest of Oregon and Washington. In Europe, most truffles are collected in France and Italy. All right. There you have it. I mean, I had truffle hunters in Italy, our in France, are used pigs and mixed breeds of dogs. Just niff them out. Damn. That's, that's high-tech. I tell you what, you know, this, the Robert Kelly podcast

has now turned into the cooking channel. There you go. I mean, we took, we took a, you know what, dude, and we turned it into truffle shopping. Beautiful. How do we get on the blanket? I mean, we do. Yeah, we just we do. I don't think Bobby updated the blanket recently. How many shows are in riotcast now? I think like 16 or 15. I'm not exactly sure.

How many are on the network? Who's paying for all the stuff Bobby's gotten here? When do we get sponsored? Beats looking around the roll going. Are we missing out on ad dollars? Yeah, I mean, look at these fantastic blankets, man. Well, that's Bonnie. And looks nothing like Bonnie McFarland. And then Rich looks perfect there. I saw Rich the other night.

He came out. I haven't seen him in a while. The tattoos knew. I forgot to ask him. Has he always had tattoos on his arm? Yeah. He's had tattoos for a long time. Yeah, no, he came out the other night.

And yeah, so what do we got going on with where you're at? What's what? With the whole thing, with the whole thing with the whole Yeah, I forgot we forgot I forgot we're live we typically sometimes when we do our show We'll talk about stuff and I'm like oh, yeah, we gotta edit that out. Yeah, we'll take a break Yeah, it's all going live. Do we have anyone yeah? We have some comments kind of like reactions to previous conversation topics so com with says i'm just waiting for this calm ass motherfucker to say he murdered the chef for burning his radishes mookie phillips says this is funny because it's so different from you know what did it's good Sebastian is an original i'm telling you this is good stuff

stop stop i people are interested in the radish. I didn't say word, man. I'm totally on board, man, we're doing chef talk. Brian Stanley says, all these guys sound and look like the wall berks. All right, that's something. This is why I don't do live. All right, what else you got? Moogie Phillips says Sebastian calms me down like a nurse reading my ingredients to my chemo. I'm like lunesto I am putting people to sleep in a good way. Yeah, yes, man Listen to the show you take a nap

This is what we do on our cast. mean basically we have topics we talk and uh... you know and we go from there and you know i best friend comedy is a huge fan of your show is always talking about but yeah uh... will julian you know no i don't i don't i don't think you know many

you look so uncomfortable right now i mean you know the it's in his head it's in his head right now i I mean, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don, I'm just saying, you're normally, you're normally the driving force behind our show and you've taken a back seat here. Yeah, I know. I don't have anything left to discuss right now. I didn't know what was gonna be like when we came in here. If we were gonna be interviewed,

what an interview, what do you think they interview? They're, we got nothing new. I'm actually lying, I told Chris, I'm like, we got this bro. I'm not sitting here. Oh yeah. I'm like we got this bro Yeah, what do we get into you? I let's get into one to do a car and events. We don't normally do that I mean did you hear that the Putin was meeting with the Pope and Putin made the Pope wait an hour We're not talking about that. That's how fucking cool the poor Putin is Con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desesperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Putin was. Yeah, the president of Russia was an hourly to meet the pope. At that point, at 45 minutes you gotta walk away if you're the pope. Don't you? Don't you? Don't you come on. Don't you come on. Don't you come on. Don't you're the pope don't you don't you know this is back me you even call the pope and be like father

i'm running late like you do any that you probably send a guy yeah i don't know i mean i don't know was he meeting in in idli or is he meeting in russia uh... i think they were in i don't know that's a good question i'd be i'd be guessing if i said what they were meeting yeah because if it's if it's if it's a m in russia and you're in downstairs in the

lobby that's kind of a dick move but if you run in late i mean like i've been around people rushing to get ready on a what do you mean the pope what's the rush like it uh... uh... uh... we were running here we were we were late right we would want to be eight minutes late here for the show so you know

Putin just said well leave him Leave him in the I mean well listen if it's in the Vatican I'm sure that the Pope's got stuff to do and I got yeah It's one of just let me know when he gets there But if you go like he was saying if you go to Russia and Putin's got the Pope just walking around back and forth with his head on and the lobby It's but do you think either way like Putin's handlers say uh... you know your i will meeting your hour late for that meeting or do you

think there's a little bit of do this is the pope man will they for the pope or is it just another guy i think putin did on purpose the bill how evil do you got to be to be late for a poll? I could seem doing that to Obama I Mean hey, he goes by his rules. You don't give a fuck I suppose I suppose well we got that in current events

The two guys are still on the loose I'm assuming oh we have no updates We can't even check online to see if the two men are they I mean from I'm last night They were all I will watch dog the bounty hunter on seeing and talking about how you want to go and try to get these guys so if they were on the loose still i wish they weren't murderous because i kind of want to get away that's what he was so i was i mean they murdered people if they were if they like you know break in entering i'm like get go i hope you don't ever get caught but yeah the murder is I can't let them fucking go. I know, but I'm just, you know, they're

kind of rude for them though. It's fun, it's exciting. I would love to know like what the guy said to who the woman who works at the prison. Like how charming do you have to be? That literally threw bars, this bar's and you like, you look nice today, baby. I haven't seen that sweater before, is that new?

I mean, you're just working or working, right? I mean mean you're working. It's gonna be years of working. Yeah. It's a war. And how did it finally get to uh yeah what was that? I wish I could get out of here and spend more time with you. Just wish we could walk the beach. Oh do you think that they fell in love and then he said she had a full in love? Oh yeah but do you think this was set up from the get go the guy good listen I'm gonna be friend with the girl and she's gonna get us out of here Or they start having a relationship and he goes back to his cell and tells his buddy I think this one's gonna get us out of here. Oh, yeah, that one man

Yeah, yeah, you really think the only reason he, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And then all of a sudden you're two miles in and a dog just takes a shit and sits there Like because it's got nothing and I just wasted my time and then it's not jerking me again like, you know How do you know? Well, I think the dogs Sent level is is almost comparable to a bear a bear could do what seven miles That's that's how how keen a nose is on a bear. I don't know what it is on a dog. Have they found anything? They picked it up. I don't know if they found anything, but they picked up a scent trail. That's the last I heard.

Yeah, I mean a few different times, man. A few different times that's led them on. So a dog could go literally three or four miles out, you can smell all these different things and go, no, no, I think I smell like a pinpoint, I don't know, man. No, they give them, they give them a piece of clothing and they smell the clothing and then that's what he's honed into.

Well, if they're smart, wouldn't they just leave trails, maybe a piece of their clothes on like a branch? So the dog thinks he's going this way, I'm really going that way. Yeah. They try to throw them all That's what I would do or in any movie I have a see they jump in the river and then that's it the scent is gone You can't trace the scent when the guy jumps into the river. Oh, is it the rivers like that's where you need to go

Is that what the show shank one? Yeah, he gets out of the ship pile. Yeah, what's it get to the river? It's it He's in Costa Rica. They're gonna cost a reger right now with Warden's money. I don't know what would you do if you're on the lamb? I go live in the woods some where would you go? The thing is the thing is wherever you go like let's say you go to some campsite all by yourself the minute You're seen by one person you're out in the middle of the woods hide now one dude just comes hiking through and sees you And you're like, hey, what's up? and you're like, hey, what's up? And he's like, hey, what's up? And then you like I know that motherfucker's gonna go back and tell people I'm yeah You got it. I think they might have kidnapped somebody and then just either they're still with them or they had to kill them

Because you can't kill them go gonna go right to the cops. Yeah, so they got it I think the money kidnapped somebody and then he'd take me you know down south or whatever How long after they did they escaped that they know They was it they can hour in the morning the next morning when they oh so they had at least an eight hour head start They're the head start, but if you saw these two guys walking in New York City. Would you recognize them? No, you saw a guy. I don't even look at people like from my hotel here I couldn't tell you who the hell I saw Yeah, do you even look at I don't even look at people?

Well, I mean living in New York. I'm always on the defense of people asking for money or asking for something So I'm all the man even someone to produce me now go away as soon as that so I wouldn't yeah But you're not making eye contact with a lot of people on the sidewalk in New York City. Are you? No? Okay, that's what even if they got to walk right past me, I wouldn't know. He could walk, not only I, he could ask me for a dollar, I could have just seen his picture on TV. Yeah. He could ask me for a dollar and all I'd say to a friend is,

this bum looks just like the guy. He asked me for a dollar. Who uses bum anymore? Oh my God. That's pretty outdated. By the way, I was watching the other day, a movie uh... called the angriest man in brooklyn with with uh... robin williams

and again peter dinky it just on it uh... the little person yeah and he did something that was funny and i said to my wife that you know that mitchett's funny man he's really is a hell of an act up and she said that that you can't use that word. Yeah. Okay. And what you know too, right? So we went online to see what's acceptable. Little people's acceptable. Dorf is on the bubble, but I would think that's bad.

I've heard that actually. Dorf is more acceptable in the midget, which is a possible. I think I have a problem with Dorf. And then I said to my wife, can you go say to somebody who's not a midget they're just short like a friend of yours can you go guy like a midget you so short or because they're not really a midget is that offensive to call short person a midget

what what is the what is the height requirement uh... is it for foot and below considered a little person to get a handicap it's like four ten or below considered a little person door? I think to get a handicap. It's like four, ten or below. You're like now you're handicapped. Well a little person can park in a handicap spaces? Yeah. Why? Oh, just to save that long journey. That walk is like that's like a mile to them. Oh, all right. Sweat and so that that word is officially off the table in any capacity You can't say that. It's up there with the N word. Have you guys ever gotten in trouble?

I don't like a midget joke. And you say the midget, and then the people will like, that's offensive. You can't say that. I really don't do midget jokes, but I didn't know that you couldn't say a midget to midget. I mean, I don't know, is that naive? You know, I don't know.

Yeah, somewhere along the line, it turned into a little person, but yeah, I guess Mijit is a derailleur. Berra has a great bit about that. It's like in his older CD, he goes, when do we can't call the Mijits anymore? There won't want to be little people. He's like everyone wants to hang out with a Mijit too. That's always the famous people always have a Mijit in their group.

Yeah. That's funny. Do you know any little people? always have like a midget in their uh... in their group you know any little people no i don't do no but i was at a party once and a little person walked in and there was twelve people at the party and i don't know it's just if you're a little person

you walk into a party and there's like all grown people there, um, what are you grown to? What's that? You're still full grown as well. It's not like you're looking at them going, I can't wait for that day. They're a fully grown little person. Yes. So they came to the party and they behaved as if, you know. No, I mean, they were dancing.

It was like, they had no one. Well, that's the way I watched people. I like that I watched. They're going to behave. Well, no, I mean, what I'm saying is like, I mean, if I was a little person, I walked in and there's like 12 grownups there. Being the way I am in my personality, and obviously I've never been a little person,

but I'd be, you know, I don't know, this person was dancing and having a ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? I mean, then bother them whatsoever. What the fuck? Well, like when I'm watching Peter Dickage, I'm thinking the same thing, like he's acting in the scene and he's just like like You know, yeah sure. Let's go. We'll go get lunch at 12.30. And look at my wife and I go

He's just so like normal about it So she's like what is he supposed to say? I know I'm the little person in all but let's get lunch at 12.30 It's like a real person at the end of the day. I guess you got to get over it, just walk in and go to the toilet. Yeah, get over it. Get over it. I mean, I'd be so self-conscious about walking and go, yeah, little person here. Let's get that out of the way. Would you be the party starter? Like, I got to make up for the fact that I'm a little person. Well, I don't know. This person was just definitely the party starter. He walked in and he was like, this is great music, and he was dancing. I go, this guy's fantastic.

Well, that's the other thing too, man. There's that responsibility, you know, if he's like quiet, you'd be thinking, he's so sad. Because he's not letting his handicap get to him. I told you, I never put this on the air, but I was telling Sebastian a story once, like, a couple years ago, I did this awful this awful movie some guy money and just crazy scene where in a nutshell

on an airplane and of magic comes by i'm sorry a little person comes by in a parachute it's crazy scene right but all day long this guy is named scott he had to hang on this big contraption. And when they yell action, they would swing him past me. And I would bite into a sandwich and he'd take the sandwich from me.

And in between takes, he'd be hanging way up here, dangling, and we chat for a little while and once in a while, they would just about to do the scene. You know, when you film stuff, it takes forever to get the lighting just right. And they'd just about to film the scene. And then he goes, the harness is hurting me. I need to be the scene. You know when you film stuff it takes forever to get the lighting just right and it just about to film the scene and then he goes this hurts the harness is hurting me I need to be let down I need to be let down for a second right and he's like face to face with me I'm on this plane and he's

hanging and if it was like you Sebastian I'd go bro hang in there we're just like we get David there we just gonna film just hanging there I know you're crotch her to but when you deal with a little person you're so respectful of what you're asking of them that you have to go get him down Everybody get him down put him my head on like on now with the lead to You know, but you got to be respectful and it was like a long day And you're trying to be very respectful of the guy and then at the very end of the day It was a Friday and it was like 7 30 at night and some of us were gonna go get some beers or in Brooklyn

And he comes walking past and he's wearing a black trench coat and I go, skyday, where you going? I thought we were going to go to some beers, he not coming and he goes, nah, nah, and I get closer and I notice an S and I like, I go, what's that? And I look inside of his trench coat and he's wearing a Superman costume under his trench coat and there was a bar opening that night, a brand new bar opening in Brooklyn and he they hide a bunch of little people to dress as superheroes to be a mingle at the party and serve you know what serves and uh... and uh... and uh... working on photos and working

and like the life of a little person is just never done man and you got to do whatever it comes your way like uh... uh... was the wall street you have to be on my point is you have to be on the foot of that you want to make a living as a little person you gotta be ready to sing follow the yellow brick road and he got their moment and uh... opening scene will for wall street they throw in mingets into the bulls eye

little people you mean little people yes little people thoughts today man by the end of the show people can be rad eating radishes. I'm calling a little people So what were they doing? They were throwing little people That was it basically they were just throwing little people at bulls eyes. Oh, oh, oh, they were betting on who could get who could get like closer to the bulls eye little people tossing Yeah, yes, I don't know any of them. No, no, I don't know any there's a couple comics in LA

Yeah, Brad Williams. Brad Williams. Yeah, there's a couple out there. Forget the other guys name. I had a friend in high school that was seven foot one. That was pretty trippy in the other capacity. Do you played basketball at? Yeah, know and like I want to be good so I bring him to my house I had a hoop in my backyard and I would take my broomstick and my dad would feed him the ball and then I got him with the broomstick to try and give him you know the idea in case he ever plays against someone else his seven foot one but yeah man it was like a tough way to live to be that tall I mean you two tall is not good. Seven foot one, you're expected to kind of get into some type of basketball.

No, this guy had no one not to do it. No, he didn't. I mean, no, he didn't really. So what is he doing now? Is he like in a accountant? He's a chef. He's a chef. He's a chef in a kitchen.

Yeah, man. Oh, man. Yeah, I know. I mean, if you're that tall, why don't I just try to write it out basketball or you know, I'd be a pitcher in baseball. Because you're releasing the ball at a 44 feet. A hard that's going to come in. Was it the taller, the better on the mound? Well, yeah, because you're already like Randy Johnson when he played he was 6'10". Oh, it's true.

He was releasing the ball at like 45 feet when normal pitch was released at like 48. Oh, so it's three more feet of him holding the ball. Yeah. 12 people say they like being tall. I don't know no man. I know it's getting my college he was 72. He played basketball. He was terrible one of the worst plays I've ever seen athletically. But again, college when he would come into the party everyone would be like yeah everyone look up now fuck this guy's huge Oh Is that you be yeah You bring up a good point here though, and we talked about this early on

You know the little person having the to get him down Because you didn't know how much. Right, being respectful. Be respectful. And we had this incident where, you know, we, I did where I had a guy in my dressing room who was in a wheelchair. Remember the story? Yes.

Are we in there? Yeah. So I'm doing this gig and there's this guy in my dressing room in a wheelchair. And he kind of took over the dressing room. He just kind of just took it over, not because he was in a wheelchair, just because he was that type of personality.

And he wasn't on the show, and I felt that he needed to leave, but he was in a wheelchair. So I felt like he, I couldn't say anything. If you ask him, you're a dick. I'm a dick, but he was being a dick. So, can I tell the person, you're gonna have to get the hell out of the room

because you're being an asshole. When does the handy camp become a non-ish? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was struggling with with this guy. That's a tough call, man. I mean, just a little side one, I was chatting with a guy at something once recently by where I lived, this function,

and he was in a wheelchair, and then I needed a flyer, and he goes, I can give you a flyer, and I go, that'd be great, really interesting this. And he wheelchair and then I needed a flyer and he goes I can give you a flyer and I go that'd be great really interesting this and he got up and grabbed me a flyer and I went what the and he goes oh not I just know where to sit so I grabbed the wheelchair and in my head I'm like I wouldn't even have been so nice to and quite frankly I don't even want the fucking flyer I just said I wanted to fly. So, you know, but I think the answer is you know that there is no limit. That guy could be in there and be a dick. Somehow we got into a green room, the fact that he's in there. You can't kick a guy out in a wheelchair. What was he doing in the green room though? He

just thought he was part of the group. And I mean, I don't particularly like anybody in the green room before I go on the show just because I'm, you know, kind of getting my head right, but he was in there and I felt like I had to leave my own green. So I had to set up shop somewhere else and get ready because I didn't want to say, hey man, you need to get the whole nother. And he could, if you kick him out,

he was like, oh, this guy's the best. Oh, yeah, this guy is. He was fucking his guy. He's the key is, cookie. It's amazing though. When you leave you is there any more of an indication that i don't want you in my green room then when i leave it i done that to under wrote i leave my green room and everyone just stays in there it's like why do you think i'm leaving man because i need to be alone so

if you guys would get out of there i could go back in there yeah they just call i guess peat just like stilander around man because I need to be alone so if you guys would get out of there I could go back in there. Yeah. They just call I guess Pete just likes to wander around. Yeah like a and as soon as they leave I walk back in. They're not picking up on that. No they come back in. Oh he's back in back in there. Yeah come on man. No but in life when something goes really horrible and someone will sometimes even say it could be worse you know you could be in a wheelchair or something like that. That's where this guy is at. So no, there is no scenario I can think of where you can go, you can't kick him out. I mean, if you're sitting in a car, sitting in a yellow and that's one thing, but if he's

just being like a little abrasive. I feel like there's like people with handicaps, there's two ways, either they don't, they'll like overcome it, they'll do stuff to overcome it, it or they're just they'll use it as a crutch For everything. Yeah, I'd be pissed every army pissed. I'd be cut on lines I'm like I don't know why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why Oh god Right in front. Oh all that stuff right. I know you're crazy too I'm a gym there are guys who have handicap parking yet. They go and work out How much of a handicap do you fucking need to work out? They're running on the treadmill Yeah, there's there's a huge scam right now everybody's getting those handicaps and that's it makes me sick when people get the handicap Really they walk see that's taboo. I would never even if i didn't even if i got the free

placket i couldn't do it man i got seen people parking handicapped because somebody in their family is handicapped unless that persons with you you don't get the parking and yeah yeah i don't know i i've often bit my tongue a lot uh... in regards to i mean here guy came up to me last night and he started doing magic.

During the meet and greet, he came up to me after the show and he goes, what do you think it is? He took out $51 bills, it was $123.45. He goes, what could you buy for $5? I don't know, it's socks. Okay, what could you buy with $123.45? $500 bills, gives me his card four, five, five hundred dollar bills. Gives me his card out of nowhere he goes here.

Give this to somebody, I know you know people. What? But I'm gonna give the guy a magic gig. That's easy to be a new openness. He's doing magic in the middle of the maiden greed. That he has to give my card to someone. What am I going to do with that? I don't know, man.

Oh my God. You meet these. You meet everybody in these Maiden Greek lines. One guy come up to me and he goes, my card, the Brooklyn real estate. Like, I was going to go, oh God, I was just looking and Brooklyn broke. Like what the, you know, I mean, I mean,

I could see if you got a restaurant, you're inviting, so yeah, I come by, you know, taste my food, but like real estate in Brooklyn, it's so specific. Like why would I, it's true, do they just want to feel important? I don't know what it is, but I've never given out a card. Even when I had a card, I don't have cards anymore, but I was like the king of marketing growing, doing stand up, I had my flyers and whatnot.

I had these cards that I made up that was like, oh, lights. It looked like I'm running a nightclub. I had like nights, lights with people. And even then, I was like embarrassed to give out because I don't know, I just I feel like when people give you the card it's like, I don't know. It's like, it's my card. I don't even ask.

You know there's a coffee shop where I live and they all put their cards on a table. So you know if you have a business you put your card there but like that's another thing too. I've never walked in going, I need a paint. Oh, let me look at the cards. Yeah. See if there's a paint to here. I see the card and I go, I'll never call the guy. I'll never call the card at the coffee shop that's in the, that's on a bullet. I don't do bulletin board ads. No, you ever go to a board and go paint their plumber, paint their plumber, made looking for work? Yeah, this. Right.

Right. At a piece of paper pin the board looking for work. Looking for work, man. My wife did that one. She hired a housekeeper off the thing. Off the thing, at Whole Foods, they had a like a pinboard there, and she called the number.

I go, what are you doing? I don't even, this is not legitimate. Well, do you think you should have to go through a proper chance? Service, a service where they vet them. Service, vetting. Not on a bulletin board. Have you put anything on a bulletin board?

Ever for work, for anything? Need help? No. Looking for? No. And then they call you and they go, what'd you get? What'd you get?

Oh, I got it off the bulletin board. Oh yeah, come on over. Never happened. There was a bulletin board where I lived in Manhattan in the lobby and what I would do is put a non-unmiss notes on the bulletin board about other people in the building. Yeah, that's fine. Three A get your stroll around it a whole way. It's a fire hazard. Yeah, you know, and that kind of shit. And then when three A would be reading it, that

happened one time. I came downstairs and she was reading it and she was like, did you see this? And I do that. I fake read it. I'm like, who's got a problem with the straw? It's atrocious, that's terrible. Who would do that? Who would do that? Yeah. I did that in the laundry room, my apartment once. I wrote down, please, please take your clothes. I did a washer next time.

I left that in the thing. The next day, I came out of my door, my apartment, on the door is a tampon. On my door, they nailed it into my door and said, don't leave a note in the washing area. Like what kind of psychotic is living in my apartment? That they're nailing tampons to my door. How did they know was your name? I don't know. That's what I'm doing.

What a tampon. What did you know it is? A tampon right on the door. What a note. Attached to the tampon. Don't write notes in the laundry room. But it's okay for you to see. Anyone see you?

I don't know. Maybe they did. I just see the only reason or they knew. I don't? Because I don't know. Maybe they did. That's the only reason, or they knew. I don't know. I don't know how the hell that happened. Unless it was obvious, it was you based on what you had a problem with. I mean. Maybe because I wrote it on an Italian pizza napkin.

Maybe it was a giveaway. It's the Italian in 6A. That's writing these notes. God damn it. It's been a while with the laundry with other people now that I have my own. But like I had one time, I was doing my laundry in New York City and I put my laundry in the wash. And then I went to get a cup of coffee and I forgot my money. So I immediately went back to get my money out of my laundry bag, which I left in the laundry room.

And it was a woman like my age totally normal lady Using my detergent. Oh she was dumping it in her thing and it was so embarrassing because we're now We're both looking at each other and it was awkward and she gives me this look and she goes I'm sorry. I just ran out and she did she had some but she had ran out and she goes I ran out and I didn't want to run all the way up to the deli to get to the store just to get more for one more load And she does that like that so I go I guess I'll just have to go up that much sooner You know she didn't offer to pay you? Well, no, and then I walked back out with my wallet to go get coffee and a little bit of me was like Yeah, maybe I wasn't so nice, you know

But I come back and now we're on the same cycle because now I'm drying and she's drying So it's like no one's talking because she stole from me earlier And then she leaves for a little while it comes back and I'm just about done folding my stuff And she finishes folding her stuff before me and right before she leaves she looks back at me And she slides over a king-sized snickers and she goes sorry about taking the turgid Here's a little something for apologies and she slides me to Snickers and I go did you steal that too? And then she goes I tried she goes I tried and she leaves and I go I was a dick. I should have accepted that because I do I'm still in the laundry I've done that I just

don't get caught man you know but yeah I should have in the laundry. I've done that. I just don't get caught man. But yeah, I should have forgave him. She give you a snicker bar. You got to forgive me. I know. You get to get lined up. That's a good line. That's a good line. That's a good line. The adict, but to get lined to you.

And you're only giving me the snickers because you got caught. It's not like you would have slid it over. You didn't know, but I stole your laundry. It has a little something. Did she have the Snickers already? Is there a vending machine where she got it? No, when she left, she went up to the deli. Oh.

Yeah. It should have gave you a few bucks then. Yeah, I know. That's a lot of things stolen them and bicycles, man. Just so much shit. I stole one time. This is only a few years ago. I was on my roof deck and I saw somebody else had on their roof deck.

These two awesome chairs that you can put on your back, like a knapsack to take to the beach. And they were sitting up there like a bandit, it wasn't even a hang area or anything. And I'm like, if they're there next week, I'm going to take them. So I took them and I used them at the beach one day and I really liked them and stuff. And the whole time I was sitting there at the beach, I'm like, like you don't steal what are you a loser? What are you doing? So I snuck back on their roof and put them back I Wonder if the guy was like

Who has ever stolen and brought back? Right, how long did you have him for he might not even realize that one weekend I use him for one weekend weekend I just felt awful about it So I put him back might have realized for a weekend. Yeah, I thought a couple hours of something went the rock away and he came back Well, that's gonna be a surprise. I mean the guy goes up there and he goes, oh god someone stole it and then in that you know four days later He goes oh my god That's a good conscience Yeah, yeah, it's a mirror! Ha ha ha! The fact that I can't get a conscience! Yeah, oh man.

That's funny shit. I had my car, um, the, my driver's side, um, mirror, stolen from me a couple of times around here. The mirror? There's a thing that was going on, they just wanted to steal the mirrors. They would steal the mirror of my car. What?

I have no idea. The first week I had my car, I had my mirror stolen. Oh, it was furious. Furious. Yeah, I had my CDs stolen out of my car once. And this is when there was no like a eye cloud where you could back up anything, like the CD collection. Oh, it was huge.

And it was gone. All the music gone. I used to have that thing where, you know, you just flip them to flip and then three and just flip them. All my Michael Jackson gone. Oh, man. I had the box set.

I had a bicycle one time locked up to a parking meter out in front. I used to live on second Avenue and I was drunk. And I look out on my brother's living, we look out on our balcony, and there was a guy, had to be like three in the morning, and the way I locked up the bike, if you jiggled it enough, you could just pull the chain

over the head of the meter and take the whole bike. Oh, geez. You know, so we were throwing empty beer cans out, I'm telling them to get the hell out of there. And then, and he did, but I was so drunk that I just went to bed, like, like, and then he did but i was so drug that i just went to bed like like like and then he just came back and took it later

that's what the morning was got that's gonna be here one time i locked up my bike uh... and they and they took up you they took my my wheels and they took my breaks and they took my seat like they just anything that wasn't locked up they took

so by the time i was done living in the city, the size of the lock, you would have to drive right around on your bikeway to lock up, it just became not even worth it, man. So when you were living in the city, you drove on your bike, you said? Yeah, I used to do it. I was told it was a batch and I'd hold on to the side of the buses and shit sometimes.

Oh, make time, going up hills, man. I did all that crazy shit. That's, I wouldn't do that shit. Not anymore, I wouldn't. Oh, yeah, man. I just, I just, I just, I time going up hills, man. I did all that crazy shit. That's that's I wouldn't do that shit. Not anymore. Oh, yeah, man. I just know it was a fucking some was gonna some cabs gonna hit you. I saw one time a guy a delivery guy in his bike got cut off by a cab and Went over the hood of the cab, right? But he one of those where he slid over the hood and he was fine and he just got up and these kind of guys These bike is they wear their thick chains that bike chains around their

And these kind of guys these bike is they wear their thick chains that bike chains around their Shoulder and the neck like here so when they get off they can just quick chain it up He gets up pulls that up goes like this with it Smashes the back windshield puts it back on and he's gone And then the cab is just looking out the window yelling with the guys going in the opposite direction and travers Then you could do man. That's the word my dad got broke his collarbone He was crossing the street and a delivery guy on a bike on those motorized bikes comes and hits him knocks him down and breaks his collarbone. Yeah that's crazy. That's been happening a lot I mean

Lon and I who were talking about this earlier rented a bike my wife and I to go around New York City and it And there's no rules. There's a bike lane, but people are walking in the bike lane. There's skate porters going through the city and the middle of the traffic. Then people have these, it's like the new segue, but it's like a wheel and they put their feet on the wheel and then they just go.

There's no like, it's almost like they're, have you seen these things? No, I don't know what we're talking about. Yeah, I've seen them. It's what what are they called? I'm not sure. It's a, I think it's a prototype that's kind of going around. It's not official yet, but some people have it. It's just like they, they, they, they, they, it's motorized, it's motorized. It's a wheel.

And it's almost like a big roller blade. And people are going around the the around the city like that. And you put your feet on either side of the big wheel and you just lean forward and you go. It's like a motor ride I can't even describe what the hell it is. That sounds like a 70th birthday present to me. I'm telling you right there man. There you go. Good B. Yeah. Good B. So that's funny. So that's that. That's that.

Well, if you liked what you heard today, folks. Yeah. What? It's been, no, it's this is, you know, we don't know what it is. It's not a lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah, it was a fucking great time.

It is. But should we keep going? It's up to you. We did an hour six so far. Do we have anyone else commenting? Yeah, let me give you a second. All right. Soakham was says they call it the term dwarfism is allowed because it's a medical condition and that's why it's acceptable. Ah! There you go. There we go. All right. We're getting people go going that. Yep. A real true Jonas fan says,

hey Pete, it's Catherine from New Year's. I'm watching and wanted to say hi. Oh, very nice. Hey Catherine, yes, she's a sweetheart, man. A real nice fan. Are you sure it's not one of those people in the line? That's crazy. Magic.

Magic. Magic. Yeah, like my dad has one of his closest friends has a son that is into magic. And like, you know, a few years back, the kid was like, he's got to be in his 20s now, but back then he was like 10 years old, and we had a family function.

And he's like, I'm gonna do some magic tricks and stuff. Now I don't know about you, but you're weird if you're into magic, right? Right? Right? I mean, isn't that right? I'm not even watching a magic. I'm just like, look at you.

I think at that age of all, like, you're more nerdy. You got no friends really. So I think I'm going to play with magic. That'd be my friend. And then you grow up into that atmosphere. Yeah, like Jeff Donum, you know, the Venturelequistar. Since fourth grade, he would, every photo for the school photo, he would do with his doll and him

All the way up through high school even seeing a year his doll was in the photo with him. Wow That's weird. That's so weird. I mean You if you didn't end up as big of a star as you are then you would have just be that guy everyone would go Do when I was growing up there was this fucking wacko That would do it as dolls, right? You're like Copperfield, probably is a multi-millionaire, but if he never got to that level,

he's a fucking weird owner trailer, but he's so sexy and women love him, right? But like, if he didn't hit just like that, you know, he's playing, he's playing like the showrooms and like fucking casinos, doing magic up to come out with the people, that's like we had guy playing like the showrooms and like fucking casinos doing magic up to come up to people That's like a weird thing. Yeah people do that. Well, yeah, what do you do if you don't make it a magic? If you're doing magic in your comedian, I'm sorry if you're a stand-up or you're a comedian and you kind of never hit You always could kind of do the stand-up in clubs, but as like a

could kind of do the stand-up in clubs. But as a guy who's doing a large-scale magic trick, what's the... I don't think you can get to that large-scale magic trick. It's got to be a lot of sleight of hand stuff. Well, what is it like as far as just a significant other in your life? When I've had moments where I'm on the edge of the bed, I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. My wife will be like, well, you got that let him in thing coming up. Or don't forget, you know, you're working on your new hour. There was always hope.

There was always something. We have my magic guide. I'm looking at my wife going, it's just nothing's happening. Where is she gonna go? I think, well, you got the new card thing that you do with the to's. That's gonna blow up probably. I wonder about the, you know, the rabbit.

No one does that. Rabbit like that. I mean about that, you know, to rabid. No one does that rabid like that. I mean, yeah, but like what's there? What's the break? A magic guy is looking for. And then if you don't make that break, like you said, is he walking around parties now going, you know, take a look at this. I mean, where do you go with that?

I don't know. It was a documentary on Netflix about like young magicians, like they started like 13 and then they go to this like special school And they developed their magic through the school and they then they become world class magicians But that's the only thing I've heard of it, but I've like I've done like we've joked about this on our cast like I've done this Norwegian getaway big fancy cruise ship You know doing stand-up on there the accommodations for the performer great and all that

and there's a magician who does a show every night and as great as a money was in the set-up was as a comedian unlike oh my god i can't believe a lot of fucking cruise ship right now what the fuck but the magician was like this is great i made it i made it so so like a cruise ship is like one of the... Is like NBC deal. Yes, exactly! Yes! You know, for a comic you get a cruise ship and you go, oh my god, I hope no one's been under the comics for me. You know city find that, I was under god, damn blah, blah, blah! But in magic world, yeah, it's like I guess yeah, cuz he every and he everyone every kids love magic

So you're always gonna have I mean uncruciated a lot of kids, so they're gonna love you Yeah, and this is a big big big heavy sick guy with a long goatee and he paint his fingernails black And then every night he do his magic and then he'd be on the boat drinking with all the passengers Love them and then whenever we go to St. Martin, there was a prostitute there, because it's legal, named Candy, and he would get a rub down and sex from her once a week, and then when we go to Nassau, that's where he'd get his sushi.

And he lived on the boat for like eight, nine months at a time, and he just loved it. It was just no family, no connections, just doing my magic out of the sea. Right? What a magical way to live, man. Aren't you MVs of that, though? They're so happy doing this.

And when we just stand up, you do a show, you're like, if I fucking hate myself, it's the worst. What am I doing? I know. But they're so happy fucking on a cruise ship. God damn, I'm doing one hits a pot, looking at my cruise ship in St. Martin,

going, I can't believe I gotta get back on that God damn thing and do more jokes. And he's just embracing it. He's walking in St. Monica. I can't believe I got to get back on that guy dead thing and do more jokes. And he's just embracing it. He's walking through St. Martin going, I can't believe I have a whole day to myself for free. I do this for a living. That's a different world. He's getting back in the bull.

I have to do magic now. I know. I know. But after this certain tricks, though, wouldn't it like, don't you have a joke? And after a while, you're like, I don't want to do this joke that much anymore. I mean, if you do the the rabbit out of the hat, how many times you do you make it? I know.

Exciting. I know, dude, dude, stop finding yourself going to the... Yeah. People might get out of here. You know, it's sound like... Yeah. I would have a new one, right? Why even do Tadah?

Come over your own. Come over your own, right? After every trick maybe I go, and that's that. Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, you gotta mix it up a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, so I don't know what else to say. Yeah, I know. Talk to your shows this weekend. Yeah, I'll be playing at bananas and in Hasbroke Heights one show Friday two shows Saturday and you know go to peacoreally.com you find out where I'll be playing and what's going on and me and Sebastian do to show to Pete and Sebastian show comes out usually every Friday. Yeah so yeah check that out SebastianLive.com for show dates and what's going on.

And we'd like to thank everybody for having us on the show. We had a great time. Yeah, this was great. Thanks for coming in. Thanks a lot, guys. There's a lot of fun. It was a little adjustment at first, but... Real fast, when it's Rebobby's day, it's real quick.

June 27th, Treehouse, and Sports Haven, New Haven. And then July 16th, 17th, 18th, these are the Gotham Comedy Club. July 24th, and 25th at the comedy cove and Springfield, New Jersey. So go to robacallielive.com for all his days Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Robert Kelly for letting us take over your show brother and doesn't his show come out this week The Sunday night. Oh, no, the sex shows are rock and roll. Yeah, no it's July 16th. July 16th. All right All this stuff is coming out now, though. They're showing some, like, little clips here and there, so everyone's starting to get excited.

Yeah, absolutely. Cool. Something good, Jeff. All right, good hangin'. Thanks for having us. Thank you, guys. Thank you. You've been listening to the YKWD podcast.

Thanks for listening. Now, go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Thank you for listening. You