Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Podcast 8, UFC 118, BlowJobs, Sleep

Episode Date: August 20, 2010

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Yeah So me Fucking Marco Island Doing a podcast I never know how to start these fucking things But I'm here but I'm here in Marko Island in Florida doing the Off the Hook comedy club. Oh man, it's got to be 2.30 in the morning.

I'm literally about to pass the fuck out. But I wanted to get this fuck out. But I wanted to get this fucking... Oh shit. Get this podcast in. I haven't done one in a minute. Um... Talk about a few things tonight. UFC, 118.

I can't believe they still fucking do a numbers man 118 what are you gonna do it fucking UFC 320? It's just gonna sound fucking stupid UFC 320 Fuck it BJ-Ped Shit fucking BJ-PED. Ewww shit. Motherfucker, I can't even get words out. Showed a night, dude, was actually so much better than I thought it was. You know, I'm down here, Marco Island,

and it's a touristy place. So I guess they have you know high season and then there's now where it starts to get a little dead down here because it's a tourist-based island. But a lot of fans showed up tonight. A lot of O&A fans came down. A lot of regular fans, you know, from Comedy Central and it was pretty, actually packed up. Pretty good, man. I was very happy. I thought the crowd was going to just suck, but they actually wanted to be in a great crowd. Really, really fucking good, good, good crowd. A lot of people that came last time I was here on two years ago, came tonight. It was good. I actually, I feel bad man tonight. know I try not to fuck with the crowd I you know when I talk to the crowd and I'm trying to do it less and less you know

talking to the crowd it's just something that you know some comics do I do it it's easy it's fun but it can fuck you a little bit, you know, because you don't know how funny your joke really is. Or, you know, if you go up there, there's some guys that just go up there and just get into their act and don't even acknowledge the crowd and just joke, and after joke, after joke, and it's pretty amazing. And I've been trying to, you know, trying to do that more. Because going to the crowd or, you know, going down and blah, blah, blah, or where you from, you know, you know, it's just,

it's a crutch. It's a fucking crutch. And I'm trying to unhook that crutch, trying to get up there and just, you know, and tell my jokes. But, you know, another thing, you know even like tonight there's just this fucking kid man with his dad in the front row and you know The way he was he just Was I don't know if he liked me or it didn't like me and you know sometimes you

You're on stage and you look out and you see somebody you just you know as a stand-up comics well at least I'll speak for myself that you know you're insecure you you're up there in front of a bunch of people and you don't know what the fuck's going on and you know you look out and you see that face like you like you just just make a judgment call this bitch don't like me, this guy thinks I'm an ass and you know your comic ego comes into play and you want to say fuck you, what the fuck what is wrong with you? What what you don't like me you know in reality they fucking they having a blast and that's

just their dumb face you know and you, this kid was up front tonight. I don't know what the fuck if he was a fan or not or he got tickets and I don't fucking know. He came in and he was sitting there and he just smiled, was just fucking nuts. He just, he didn't like laugh, he just opened his mouth and I don't know I was fucking weird and I acknowledged it and I don't know if I I don't know if he was fucking I don't know man. I don't know if he was retarded or Slow or his dad. I don't fucking know man. I think I fucked up. I feel shitty You know because they wound up literally walking out with,

I don't know, maybe one or two jokes left, five minutes left in my act. They wound up fucking calling it a night. And I was like, I just, you know, if they left because, you know, they didn't like me, that's fine. But if they left because I fucked with them, I just, you know, well, I didn't mean it, but like that, I was just... Sometimes you just gotta fucking say something, man, you're looking down and you're just like, as a comic, you good with that where I just let shit go and but I did so

I'm hanging too. Fucking, this fucking smile was just freaking me out. Just freaking me out. He reminded me of the kid who played the banjo in the deliverance. I mean, the fucking key on the front porch. Just his weird smile. His sunken and eyeballs. I don't know. I feel bad, but fuck him. You know. Fuck it if you can't take a joke, man. I'm sitting up there, fucking smashing myself for an hour, telling people about my shitty life,

and I hope when you relate, you know, if you can't take a fucking cracker in yourself for a second, go fuck yourself. But, uh, the show is pretty good. I'm hoping that the rest of the shows this weekend go as good as that you know it's uh...

really good turn out tonight some hope in the rest of the week is uh... uh... just as good radio today was fucking great um... really fucking good time. One up talking about the first time I got a hooker was fucking old black chick. I was haggling with her for, I had 1850 and she won up taking it and then she I gave her the 18 bucks and she won up she wanted the 50 cents so the bitch I gave her a quarter two dimes and a nickel but I was pretty crazy radio today was good and I'm kind of ramble in right now but I'm I was just about to fall asleep, but I just wanted to get this in

Well, there's two smoking hot chicks there tonight, too. It's so fucked up, you know, I used to do comedy I didn't give a shit. I just fucking would go up and I had an hour. It's my first CD that I have a Robert Kelly live. I don't know you can't get it anymore. I don't know where the fuck. I have like a few copies. I know some people have asked for copies of it. I just I have a few copies. But I had that hour. It took me, I don't know, 15 years to get that hour. Maybe longer, 16 years, and I got, you know, and I would just do that hour and just go up and wherever the fuck I would, I knew I could kill for an hour,

you know, 50 to an hour. I could annihilate. Up after anybody who goes on, didn't matter, I could do that fucking set and just kill it. And it was high energy and running all over the place and sweating and it was crazy but you know it was a pussy getter man. My set was a pussy getter. It had nothing to do with a girlfriend or wife or any fucking anything. There was just fucking shit. It would make you laugh and I look like a fucking rock star and I would, you know, get box, man. I try to get some pussy after the show and, you know, party and fucking, I would not drink or anything. Those who know me, I know I haven't drank and drug or drink in 25 years, but I'm telling you, that addictive gene, man, once you have an addictive gene, the thing just flows around your body and, you know, if you quit smoking,

it goes to food, if you quit food, it goes to smoking, if you quit sex, it goes to fucking smoking and food. You know, if you quit, if you quit, either, any, it just keeps going back and forth. Remember, back then, I doubt too hot chicks in the audience, man. They'd be back here right now, and I would be finagling and shooting angles, trying to eat somebody's pussy. You know, trying to fucking anything, eat a little pussy, get my dick sucked, you're going to fuck an ass.

Anything, you know. I mean, the fucking mangoes to get my dick sucked to fuck something or fuck both of them but, you know. It's that urge is still in there man, you know, but I mean I just fucking left. I just took off. I left after the gig and you know, I just don't have that in me to sit there and I know exactly what they want to hear when they want to hear it and fucking finagle that shit. You know, and it's not, I mean, yes, I'm married. Yeah, I mean, yes, that's number one I'm married, fuck it. But it's beyond that, man. It's just like I don't have it in me anymore to fucking do that.

And my axe changed so much too. I'm not really, I'm not up there fucking lying as much as I used to. You know what I mean? My whole act was a lie. You know, this comics that are fucking have girlfriends or even married and they go up there and they talk about being single or some shit And it's like God just such a fucking fraud You know but It was weird. I just to walk away from this the more there was so cute so my speed Oh so my speed man fucking just a little bit mushy, you know, in shape, great

bodies, but just a little mushy, just a little mushy. But I already fucking jacked one out today to fucking electro blue. Oh, God, does she know how to suck a cock. Oh, if you haven't seen her fucking electric blue with a K. God, she I watched her suck a dick today. It was just them exactly how I like my dick suck. It just was just depressing how big the guy's cock was. It was just you know, I know she wouldn't really use the same techniques on my cock. It'd be one hand, maybe even four fingers. At this point, because, fuck in any way, she's, oh God, I watched her below this, oh God, she's insane.

Spits on it and just dirty girl and you like that and then she took it, oh, she's such a sweetheart in real life too. I met her at some radio fucking thing at a bar and she was just a sweetie just to know that she's a dirty girl, likes to slap dick or for face and spit on cock and take it and they ask and makes me fucking. See that's the type of shit that I would fucking be shaking. My knees would be wobbling. If I did a show and she was there and then she just came in after and was like, I just want to fucking suck your cock

and let you eat my asshole. I'd be fine. I'd have to pray to fucking every God, God, fucking Jesus, Moses. I'd have to call my wife and just be like, this is what's happening right now and just pause. Because might be a I mean 99% chase is gonna go get the fuck out of there but they'd be that 1% chance like well baby I mean go eat her ass I just go go eat it I mean what are you gonna do just go eat her ass and wear rubber and don't you know we'll talk about when you get home oh with that being saying but I'm you know we'll talk about when you get home. Oh, would that be insane. But, you know, I just walked away at night

and I went and fucking drove to a Walmart that was closed, a super fucking Walmart who closed a super Walmart. First of all, if you don't like Walmart, you're a fucking piece of garbage. You really are just an elitist faggot. Walmart is the best store on the planet. I don't care that they're killing mom and pop places

Mom and pop places don't have shit and if they do it, it's fucking expensive Walmart has everything t-shirts seven bucks shorts khaki shorts twelve bucks fucking you can buy a knife Fishing equipment fucking electronics stupid movies for $5. It's crazy. I love, I mean, and it's the best place in the world to go to, just to walk around the aisles. You can buy a ham and turkey and fucking everything at Super Walmart.

I love it Walk around that store for hours just fucking looking at shit that you need or you know fucking just bullshit A lot of times I'll just pick shit up and by the time I get to the register I just leave most of it at the register because I just changed my mind but It's just fucking A fantastic place to walk around get a bunch of horseshit feet cheap. She'd never buy, but because it's fucking 32 cents you'll get it. And I got there tonight, super Walmart, which is supposed to be fucking open 24 hours. It's the closed at fucking 930 tonight.

I wanted to kill somebody. And I had to come back to the hotel, not one place was open. Everything on this island shuts down at fucking like 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock. Even the hotel doesn't serve food after fucking 12 o'clock. I got back here at 12.15. I wanted to fucking murder somebody.

I went up lying to the front desk. I was like, I'm a diabetic, I need food. She could give a shit if my foot fell off this twat. She was like, well, go to your minibar. And I wound up eating and I'm trying so hard. Those of you know me. It's, you know, I'm trying to get back on the thought. I quit smoking.

I'm smoking again. I quit smoking. I'm smoking again I quit smoking for four months and it just the weight was tumbling on and it's an excuse man It's I know it's a horseshit excuse But I'm using it because I was fucking getting violently angry at people I really wanted to fucking hurt people Because I wasn't smoking and I was fucking freaking the fuck out about everything. And I was affecting fucking relationships and I just said fuck it and I started smoking and plus, you know, my check was smoking and too. So that fucking

I just couldn't be home and I just did it and the weight was tumbling on. It was fucking terrible man. Not smoking this time really fucking sucked and I started smoking again and I'm trying I went to the gym today for the first time and now probably two months I just stopped going I just stopped going and it's fucking the weight came back on not all of it but it's it's getting there, man. And, you know, I'm gonna try to work out all this week and, you know, again, I know what it is. You have to fucking, I'm not one of those guys, man. Fuck, there's these people that I just elite. And then there's douchebags that just can't get the shit together.

It's like I'm in the middle where, you know, I'm not this fucking alpha male that climbs a mountain, fucking learns kung fu, and then fucking reads interesting books, and still fucking, you know, bags hookers and fucking is rockin' all. I'm just in the middle, man, and, you know, I can't fucking handle it. I can't handle just quitting everything and fucking, I just not yet in my life. You know? I gotta get the weight thing back.

I gotta get back into that because that's, it's just sucks, man. And I hate that this has been my whole life. Always worrying about what the fuck are meeting, when I'm meeting it, how much I'm meeting, it just, it really just sucks living this type of life. Having to not be able enjoy food You know

I'm smoking butts. It's just a fucking nightmare but you know You know anytime it's It's just that's the way it is, I guess, man, some people, we have these fucking lives we lead, we're just sucks. Sometimes, you know, and I'm at that point right now, it's like, fuck me, dude. I get to literally eliminate everything and get back to just you know physical spiritual and creativity Get back to that fucking

You know crazy crazy fucking just focus on I'm just gonna work out today at some point and eat right and fucking carbs is the mother fucker man. Carbs to me is just crazy because I eat that shit and I get bloated, ridiculously bloated, and that shit gets into my belly and like fucking, it's like making beer in my stomach with all the other shit and it just fments in my belly and swells up and I get gassy and Harper and anybody who's got Harper and acid reflux they call it now It's a nightmare. It's a fucking nightmare. It's like every night I'm walking up by just fucking burning sensation in my chest All fucking day every day. I have it and it went away a little when I quit smoking It definitely went away a little when I quit smoking. It definitely went away a lot when I

fucking lost weight and that's the key is just I'm overweight again. It's just a motherfucker man. Food is a motherfucker and I get to get back to focusing on that. When I'm putting in my fucking fat face and when I'm putting it in and how much I'm putting in. So I'm back on that, you know, get back my fucking diet again and get my shit together. You know, even my jeans, like even I went down to time my shoe tight and it's like your jeans just on a hot day stick to your thigh and you can't Take you feel like you're gonna break your knee like my knees just gonna snap backwards Fucking unbelievable but

You know hey today's the first day I worked out today I pretty healthy except for the bullshit I had to take out of the mini bar because it was nothing to eat in this shit Fucking hotel what Marriott doesn't have 25 room service or fucking pre-made sandwiches. They can deliver the fucking rooms Unbelievable Un-fuckin believable that I couldn't order something to eat at 12 15 tonight Un-fuckin believable Fuckin twats Look at me. I'm complaining about staying in a mariet.

Yeah, stupid, I know. Piece of shit. But, uh, anyways, I had a cancel this week. I had a cancel, uh, uh, fucking Virginia funny bone. And, you know, I never cancel gigs.

I always do them. And I don't know, And, you know, I never cancel gigs. I always do them. And I don't know. You know, I don't know what was going on. They actually put Carlos Mince here and on Saturday night. It was a fucking mix up. And I just pulled out. You know, I mean, the club's fine. You know, it's a cool place. You know, I just had to pull out. You know, it was hopefully rescheduled that shit some other time. But, you know, there was a few fans that were writing me and, you know, I apologize. But sometimes the gig just doesn't work out. And it's just, it would be just detrimental to me to go forward

with it. And I just you know you know sometimes the gigs are meant to be and sometimes they're not and this one definitely wasn't. It was not fucking meant to be. So you know the Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras desperan. ¡Friparás! Vuelades de madrida, murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. UFC 118's coming up and you know, it's such a fucked up thing. I can't believe that

Gray Manard actually got passed over to fight Frankie Agar. It's like I mean, I love BJ pen He is my favorite One of my favorite fighters. I mean of all time. I met him once. It was just like fucking. I was star struck You know, I'm a mentor. I'm a member of BJ Penn dot com for Christ sakes But you know Frankie Edgar One that fight You know did he win? I don't know. I mean do you have to beat the champion? Did he maybe not but he did better than anybody expected him to do. And he worked his ass off.

And I've met Frankie a bunch of times. This guy was fighting an underground fights a few years ago. Now he's the champion of the world. And he did not, he didn't steal that away. That was a whatever. That was a toss up. And he was, he's got the belt. And he deserves it. And he's the champ. He's got the belt and he deserves it and he's the champ and he should have been able to fight somebody else like a graymate or or somebody else to defend his title against somebody else. He shouldn't have gotten a media rematch against BJ Penn. Because you know BJ man, look BJ's a monster, but he slacked up for some reason. I say this about BJ. If he shows up with abs, he wins. If he shows up with a flabby stomach. He loses and He and he didn't show up. He didn't show up the way he did against Sanchez So he lost it man

then I know it's you know You know BJ is so good and he's such a prodigy and he's so fucking crazy Just to tell us off the chart Is that when you just want to see him be the best like a superhero? You know that's what these guys become like super heroes and then when they fail you get bummed out It's like you know when Superman fucking went into that chamber and became human and then got us Asking by a redneck in a fucking thiner You know, it's like oh come on man

And you know, that's kind of what happened the last fight in Abu Dhabi man It was like what the fuck is going on But I knew it was gonna happen the second he's entered the ring because I looked at his fucking torso and he wasn't hanging with fucking mob Moranovitch and You know it was just fucked up Now he's gonna fight again right away and if he comes in and he's gonna fucking take that belt back It's gonna be like another fucking Sarah thing with George C. P. A. where they it's almost like a fluke and I don't think it was with Frankie. You know I think he really fought

his ass off and and B. J. didn't I don't think he trained that hard for fucking Frankie but look who the fuck am I you know I don't know what the fuck he's doing you know he says he's training his ass off. So if BJ comes in with abs, I'm sorry, Frankie, the belt's not fucking going home with you. This is gonna be a tough fight for fucking Edgar because he's fucking, it's all the pressures on him to keep that belt away from the guy he fucking took it from,

which is crazy. But again I'm looking, I can't, I don't know how the fuck, Dana White and Joe Silva, these guys put fights together that you know what, you know you'd be interested in one or two, you know, every fight they put out hasn't fucking my interest picked. Every fight they put out there on paid review or free fucking on spike or versus is like what the fuck I gotta see this. I mean they're all good. You got fucking Randy Kutor fighting Tony on that fight that night, which is not

gonna be an easy fight. I do not think it's gonna be an easy fight for Randy. He's gonna come in and try to take him down and dirty box him against the fucking fence, but if Tony gets one shot in, it's lights out man. This guy's no joke. He's a fucking heavyweight champ. He's clubber lying. He's He's clubber lying. He's got some power behind that shit, man. And they're saying that Tony actually tapped out King Mo. Yeah, whatever.

You should have to fuck up. You're sparring with somebody and you tap them out. It's totally different than fighting a guy that wants to rip your head off. Sparring your buddy on a mat with other buddies watching is totally different than fighting a guy that wants to rip you head off. Sparring your buddy on a mat with other buddies watching is totally different than fighting a guy that you just punch in the face with all your might and piss them off. So I don't think there's any way he's going to tap out Randy Couture. You know, another fighter I'm really looking forward to is another one of my favorite fighters Joe Loseon I've heard his name a couple different ways it's one of those Joe Loseon, Leseon, what the fuck it is but he's a Boston boy and he's a badass man. I like them ever since he fucking knocked out

Jen's fucking boom. Jen's pulver man. He fucking took him out. It was crazy. And he was on the UFC Ultimate Fighter. He was fucking great. Just a fucking solid dude, man. Just a bad ass, but didn't have to fucking

yap it out his mouth. He just fucking took care of business. And that's what he does. He's had a couple losses, but I'm really hoping that he fucking, and takes this one out and fucking finishes in a big way and gets back into the spotlight man. I really think he's definitely the future of that way class and definitely is a bad mother fucker to watch.

And yeah, I'm partial because he's from Beantown. But also he seems like a nice guy I've met him once me and Norton had dinner in Vegas at UFC 100 and he was there and you know, sitting next to us the whole time and finally everybody get up I grabbed the photo with him so he's a pretty cool dude, pretty laid back so I hope he fucking takes his fight in a big way too.

Not just when I hope he fucking chokes somebody out, fucking knocks somebody out. But, you know, I think the UFC man is really putting on a great fight night. And, you know, I mean, look, I like all MMA. I watch it all, I watch show, look, I like all MMA. I watch it all. I watch Showtime, man. I'm into it. Bobby Lashy is gonna fight fucking, I think he's fighting.

I mean, it's just, you know, I love Nick Diaz and he's one of my favorite fighters. Fucking one of the fucking baddest motherfuckers out there. I love mayhem Miller You know showtime's good, but it's just like they fucking put on these fights. It's just weird just fucking Seems UFC every bout on the fucking card you is like oh god. I want to see that. Oh shit I didn't even know who's fighting. Oh my god the two main events. That's crazy and The fight's a good man there's the pressure

on to be good in that in the UFC. Well you'll get the boot. Like what happened to Houston Alexander, man. Guys are badass. He was a good fighter. He was fucking primed in the UFC. Fucking and he ran away from Kimbo, man. He got the axe.

He got the fucking axes out and he was a great fighter he just got booted because he put on a shit fight uh... i can't i can't wait to see this uh... this fight it's gonna be uh... pretty uh... pretty amazing and i i'm actually gonna be home i'm gonna try to get tickets because i'm gonna be home because i'm not going to fucking for junior

so i'm gonna try to get god damn tickets and go with the fuck home i just remembered that holy shit fuck me oh my god let's see if no one's around me wants to do that and'm talking on the podcast, like I'm not even doing a podcast. But yeah, it's going to be a bean town.

Fucking crazy, dude. Fucking ridiculous. Having UFC fights in Boston. Jesus Christ. This crowd's going to be nuts. It's going to be fucking ridiculous. But it's going to be insane. I can't wait. I hope I can go. Should I just remember that? I would fucking flip out. If you're in bean town or you're

in near bean town, take a fucking train and go to UFC. And then I think they have the Expo there too, which is fuck, I've been to the Expo. it's awesome. Do you get to meet all the fighters? They have all the fucking t-shirts, all the crazy power fanalia, all the fucking merch. It's just awesome, unique shit that you'd never fucking think you wanted or you could never see online. They have it, so definitely check that shit out, the fan expo. It's awesome. I don't mean to jerk off fucking Dana White in the UFC, but You know, I'm just a big fan man. I love how fucking you know Accessible they are to the fans and you know no other sport is like that No, no other sport every other sport. I feel like I'm just a piece of shit

Cattle and nobody gives a fuck the UFC actually I don't know just they fucking they're accessible and You know you like all the fighters. I don't have to pick a state to fucking go with I love the red socks and the pants and the souts, but it's like you know what? You have see I can just fucking I can like this guy from fucking Brazil and You know another guy from Japan and some fucking dude from Wisconsin and guy from Beentown. I can like a guy from New York, Sarah, Pelagrino and fucking Edgar and not have to fucking get no fight at a UFC thing because I'm from Boston.

That's why I love the UFC too, man. It just fucking can like a bunch of motherfuckers so this weekend is gonna be I'm I'm predicting Ben BJ Penn's gonna fucking take it I'm predicting that Randy Gator is gonna take him down hold him down and and frustrate him it's gonna be a frustrating fight it's not gonna be what fucking people want to see but you know there's no way Randy Gator is gonna fucking allow some fucking and frustrated. It's gonna be a frustrating fight. It's not gonna be what fucking people want to see, but you know, there's no way Randy Gator is gonna fucking allow some fucking douchebag to knock him out and make a point through fucking Randy Gator

who's the post-boy Captain America of the UFC. And I'm picking Joe to fucking take his fight, too. I'm hoping he fucking does it in a big way. When it's time, you know, the fucking submission of the night and knock out hoping he fucking does it in a big way. When it's time, you know, the fucking submission of the night and knock out of the night is something, fight of the night. But I'm hoping to go, man. And if, you know,

well, I don't know where the fuck go with that. But, you know, anybody who's into the UFC, man, go to that fight Because in bean town at the garden. It's gonna be nuts. It's gonna be fucking epic. I'm gonna try to go That's about it man, you know, I want to thank everybody for You know first of all watching Louis show on FX and thank you for all the praise you guys gave me for, you know, what I did on the show. It means a lot, man, because, you know, I mean, that part was supposed to be a, you know,

like one time thing, little small thing, just because Louis wanted a brother. And it was, you know, he liked what did, and he actually put me in another scene, and then another scene. And you know, you're sitting here, there's a bunch of guys I know, we're all waiting here to get a shot, just to say, hey, we can do it, but you got to go on auditions, and you got to go through callbacks, and then through producers, and then do it, you know, but you gotta go on auditions and you gotta go through callbacks and then through producers and then through networks and then through, I mean, just so much shit, dude. And, you know, very rarely do you get the fucking just get a part

and, you know, for Louis to actually just call me up and get, I didn't audition or anything, you just gave me the part. It's fucking, you know, and to be able to fucking have the opportunity to try to, you know, do some acting, some real acting, and, you know, Louis helped me a lot and was, you know, directing it and just great director and, you know, plus he wrote all the words that you say, which is, you know, crazy. You know, it's great. So, I have to give Louis props and a thank you for that, for helping me with that. But to be able to actually do it and have all your mother fuckers see it and like it.

For all the praise you guys gave me and all the fucking cool messages and emails, I really appreciate that. I really do. It means a lot because that's something other than comedy. You never know when you do something like that. If you're going to look at an asshole or people are just going to fucking tell you're a dickhead and go fuck yourself. It was really cool. What else, man? Oh, you know, I went

I went fucking my little brother is a Gilnett Fisher. He goes on a boat out of Marblehead Bay or whatever the fuck they call it. And 3.30 every morning jumps on a boat, goes out there, picks nets, fucking picks the fish out of the net, stacks them on the fucking boat, and brings them back in around 48,000, 4800 to 5000 pounds of fish. And I went on the boat with them, man, and let me tell you something, fish them in, bust their fucking assholes. And the only reason why, the only reason why they could fucking possibly do it every day, day in and day out, is because they love it. And there's this fucking weird thing that you're out there, and the boat's rocking, and the sun is coming up, and the music on the fucking boat is just w-in through the speakers and you're fucking sitting there

busting balls all geared up with gloves and overalls and you pulling up those nets and you don't know what the fuck's gonna be in it all of a sudden fucking a ton of fish come up on the fucking table some crazy monkfish and all this other crazy shit and you start picking that shit out of the neck and it's just Goes on for hours and hours. It's crazy. It's crazy and the fact that that

He's doing it and he let me to go out there with my little bro the captain there and it was pretty amazing man It's pretty fucking amazing very proud of my little brother because that job is a motherfucker and he just loves it man you know I'm fucking going back to hold the microphone for an hour but fucking amen everybody who fishes is a fucking man god damn man um... but that's about it

you know we got the UFC in there talked about a bunch of shit little rambling you know I do these by myself it's a little uh... sometimes a little awkward you know um... and I get a little fucking wordy, but, you know, what are you gonna do man? What are you gonna fucking do? I'm exhausted, it's 3 o'clock in the morning now.

I think I might go take another couple puffs out of a cigarette on the balcony and try to call it a night. But, you know, I go to sleep sleep now I watch Psych on my iPad, the show Psych on USA, if you don't fucking watch that show, you're an asshole. Psych on USA is hilarious. It's so funny, it's one of my favorite shows and oh God though I wish I could get on that show, but you know it's now it's fucking getting popular so famous people want to be on the show It's makes me sick Year ago there was no famous people I Could have just fucking booked myself on an episode, but now a million people, but anyways

I'm I'm gonna call this one right now because I'm fade and the fuck out My next podcast I might do another one this week, we'll see what happens. Maybe we'll do another one Sunday or something, because I'm here to Sunday. And that's it, man. I'm out. I'm going to bed. I hope you listen to this shit. I hope it was fucking whatever the fuck cube you're in or whatever truck you're in, a car you're in and you're going somewhere It fucking took up a couple of minutes a day and you fucking interesting and made your laugh a little bit Other than that, fucking you know, I'm doing this on my again. I'm doing this on my fucking iPhone

lying in bed and naked sideways My left arm is asleep because it's been on my torso for the last 40 minutes so This is the anti-podcast. This is you know what dude? Podcast You don't need a microphone, a studio, and a fucking... I have an iPhone. I'm going to email it to a fucking website, and it's going to go up on my fucking website

on iTunes. So, fuck it. That's what this is about. Sometimes this is me just rambling like today. Maybe you got some information out of it. Maybe you didn't. Oh, if you didn't. Other than that, I'm gonna throw a rocket at you face. I'm kidding. I don't even know where that came from. You know what just happened? I'll tell you what just happened. I just fell asleep and I was dreaming that there was all these rubble and this beautiful

blonde fucking like Palestinian girl came up grabbed a rock and was about to throw up my face and I was actually just I was sleeping on my podcast oh my god I just said some fucked I when I said what I say I just cut the end I'm gonna throw a rock at you. I literally had just woken up from fucking being a slip. That's crazy. That's from Fort Dimension Shire right there. I just fell asleep. All right, man, I'm young. Got a long line of heartache I came from.