Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - POG-CAST | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #54

Episode Date: January 15, 2026

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss Bobby saving a girl in from drowning and the guys destroy him for it, how to actually save a drowning person, Lemaire Lee from Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast tweeting at the REGZ, books, comics, magazines, pogs, make the producers tell jokes, the roast of Joe List, New Year’s Resolutions, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/  https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/  SPONSORS  Rocket Money Get to Your Financial Goals http://RocketMoney.com/REGZ LucyGet 20% off first order w/ code “REGZ” BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ PrizePicks Get $50 in lineups after placing your first $5 lineup https://www.prizepicks.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You need this. Come here. No, no, no, feel it. Come here. Bobby, the hero. We hate Dan. Bobby, listen, no matter what we say on the show, we really respect the fact you say that little bit. You hear what I said?

No, look. Yeah, you said about me? Yeah, right when I was walking in. We're going to trash you for saving a girl's life. But in real life, we all respect it. I think it's amazing. I think it's awesome. Well, let's.

I think it sucks. But I got a clip of 50 waiting for you. Yeah, yeah. Listen. I think you are a true living hero that will get a decimate for the next 90 minutes. For no reason.

Oh, what's the Amer? Oh, what's the Amerit? Bobby. We're gonna fuck him up, man. Well, he really took a shot at me and Danny. He goes, he's like, the regs are talking shit about awesome and one fourth of them aren't as funny as Danny.

Danny Braff. Yeah, yeah. One fourth? Wait, wait a minute. One, two, three. I don't know what they meant by it. They get you on stage. It's been on stage.

Yeah, yeah. Look, dude, you can't be funny for 30 years. I was funny for a good 15 years. I was showing change. You remind me of like an old pitcher and he go, I got a screwball. Buddy. I'm going to throw the screwball.

I did it. I've been funny. He proved himself. He didn't have to do it anymore. I come in. If you need me in the last inning, I'll come in. No. A fucking goal.

Fill her up. Buddy, we're back. After the holidays. Happy New Year. Merry Christmas. It's the regs. We got Joe List, dance soda, and the hilarious. Lewis J. Gomez, and I'm Robert Kelly.

There goes my hero. Watch him as he eats. Yo, you're lucky. You're lucky I was here. Give me a hand. There goes my hero, dude. Watch him as he goes. I don't know what his name was, but he said dude about 50 million times.

That motherfucker said, don't touch me. He said, why? He said, your hair, the water's balling up on your hair weird. Everyone's got black hoodies. How about that? Except for me. Yeah. You got a blue hood.

I like your hoodie. Black and blue. Thanks, buddy. It's very nice. What he's sad? You got the blues? What's up, boys? How are we doing?

Thank you. We're good? That's much better. We're just fucking rolling, baby. You guys were in a group hug. Yeah, we grew up. Well, Joe came over. Lewis was fighting, punching.

And Joe came up you a real. And joke him over and gave me a heart. Punching to Bobby is this. He was jazz or size punching. I'm not to throw a fucking punch. Do we get it? Oh my God, you have a hoodie that says hero on UK on.

Well, he got that because he loves sandwiches. No, no. He goes, darn it worked out perfect. Remember that sandwich hoodie that you wrote me about? Give me my Chbottahat. When you save somebody, I don't know if you know this. This is just sent to me. Did you just open the mail?

A package came in the mail. This guy, I think it was like a gold suit. showed up in a special Amazon truck. It was a hero. Amazon on the side. And I opened it up and you get one of the... And you do a predator handshake with a delivery driver? Or he goes, you son of a bitch.

Yeah. You really did it. You did it. I didn't wear the medal. That would be too Austin Tage used to wear on... I put that in my name. Austin? Don't even mention Austin.

No, no. Hold on. Hold on. This too much. This too much. First, for those that aren't informed, can you tell us... We're already in the story? No, well, slowdown.

Everyone's slowdown. I think we should do, talk about... No, we're talking about the hero story first. Yeah, I mean, come on. Also, like, how in a breath were you, how in a breath were you that you had to have chat chippedy write the entire cast? How did you know? I did Gramacy.

Okay, whatever. How did you know? You're selling again? Because the big tell is all of the long hyphens throughout the story. Nobody writes that way. I wrote it, and then I had Gramacy in my keyboard that you push, and it goes, let me fix this video. Can I tell you would immediately pulled me out of the post?

What? was the foo fighters with my because i've as someone that has used instagram before i know bobby was just on his couch doing the post and going superman theme no two on the nose fly to the valkyries i was going to pick uh pat midler bet midler was my choice beneath the wings beneath my wreaths is correct. When a hero comes along. I thought you were to do Mariah Carey. With the strength to carry on.

And that's the fears aside. Personally? I would... Hang on. Hang on a second. Bobby is right there. Go to say wide. Wide. I can't rhyme. I was personally hoping for Tina Turner, we don't need another hero.

Wow. I need a hero. That's a good one. And he's got to be strong and he's got to be fat and he's got to be fresh from the fight. Because he had to be. surgery. Now he's able to swim and you don't think he's a buoy.

She goes, y'all are going to be tripping out. White boo. Oh, shit. A beluga whale, nigga. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's talking to me. Yo, this whale talking to me. I don't want to talk to this whale. Yo, I know I'd be drowning,

but this will be talking. Bobby's like, and then a bitch-ass dad looked at me with fear in his eyes, and I knew I had to do something. How old was this girl? Well, you want me to tell the story? Yeah, I think you should mute our mics. Louis is going to let you tell this story.

No, no, he'll let me tell the story. And listen, when I wrote this post, I wrote it. Chat, GBT, BT. Knowing I wrote it, it helped me. Chatsy to Gramacy. All of Gramacy, not Chapy T. Grimacy is my. I think it's Grammarly.

That's two. Fuck you, don't have a correct, an adult. Grammar Lamar Leigh. Or a hero. When I wrote this, I, just know that I had all your faces, Colin Quinn, Jim Norton, Jota Rosa,

I'm mad at Keith Robinson. Can I tell you, I'm mad at Jim? Why? His comment is gayer than him sucking penis. What's the comment? Jim Norton made a comment? I want to say something negative, but I can't.

Good job, buddy. Why? To quote you from the early 2000s, Jim. Let me just say something, guys. You got to realize. We were mean people for 20, years. Yeah, you're right. We're at the...

We're at the end, dude. We did it. 15, 20 years. You can't expect us to keep... You can't expect me to be that guy. I have to evolve from my family and from my joints and ligaments. You and the

tough crowd crew are now all like smoky-eyed dogs that don't know where they're walking. We just want you to hear you growl like that. Oh, come here, boy. You're doing good. Oh, Bobby's walking in the wall again. Aw. It's just that.

They say if he's still eaten, he can say a lot. His tail was all his hair. It looks like a wrap. Good for you, Jim, for having a little empathy. I love you, buddy. When it was happening, did you blow the whistle that you wear? Yeah, that's good. Soda liked it.

I like it. Can you see the picture? Once I saw the rainfuster, you can't go, I liked it. That's not a laugh. That's a bomb. No, I did the, pff. I did the, huh.

You know what? You didn't say how. But look, it looks like a whistle you see. Hold on, guys. I went like this. Lewis. He turned to the golden retriever. Throwing a

no matter what. It's a whistle for when you're getting... No, we got it. Yeah, we got it, but we've already said that. It's terrible. We did? Yeah, we talked about my whistle. Before you get into the story. I think it was mine then, though. And it's not a whistle. It's a breathing whistle. A Japanese breathing whistle. Before you get into the story.

It's not Japanese. I just added that to make it sound more. Who asked for the picture at the airport? Well, funny is that we were the next day, we saw them at the airport. Also, Max had nothing to do with this. I know. Max really? Squeeze in on the heroism. Like a Max trying to get some credit.

Can I just say that? He does that at my shows, by the way. It's like, he comes up during the applause at the end. He's out at the end. He's just like, yeah, he gets in every photo. I'm like, dude, come on. Even at Boston come home, I heard, I heard Leri go, why is he in the photo? That's really funny. He goes, oh, I saved it. So at the airport, you just bump into each other.

Well, it was pretty fucked up. thing that happened. Sure. And then at the airport, so bring us there. Okay. You're in Costa Rica. We go to Costa Rica. We go to Costa Rica. We go to Costa Rica. His family, my family. Calta Rica. We, we, ha. I liked it. Thanks. We rent a $3 million house, Airbnb. I mean, it's, no one's ever stayed. It's

fucking the most insane place I've ever stayed. We all got our own rooms. It's got a pool. Literally, you having breakfast in the morning. We have a, a person come in and make breakfast every morning. A slave. This is part of, this is, part of the Airbnb experience is they try to drown a black person, have you save them and feel like that's part of your vacation? Welcome to the full experience. I bet you felt bad that that black person was cooking for you all.

Well, at the end, you'll save one. And then you'll feel whole. It's not Jamaica. It's Costa Rica. It's Spanish people. Yeah. So we... You had an accent. He didn't even do an accent. I'm staying away from voices in 2026.

I really want you guys... Don't do that. Don't do that. This fucking show will plummet. Lewis is... You're going to have thoughts and words? That's crazy. Lewis's face went. No. No, I don't like idiots.

So we stand at this plate. Every morning, fucking 30 monkeys would come out in. Oh, Jesus Christ, you save one. And one of them drowned? Stop!

Stop! That's what I was saying. You don't get to say because you save one. Jesus Christ. 30 hollum monkeys would come out. Harlem monkeys? Hollow. Jesus,

it somehow made you more racist. Clean it up. Doesn't matter what nature. heard of it from you. How did you get more racist? Now you're geospecific. Come on, guys. Can we fucking just for a minute?

This is the show. So, so. So there was some Bronx chimp's. So I said, ugabuga, Dan, I saw some fucking Detroit spiders, if you know what I'm talking about.

So, speaking of spiders. Is that a initial spider monkeys too? The best thing that I cause to make it is literally, I told you this. The monkeys just come down from the trees. They just come down. Feed them sugar.

No, you're not supposed to feed them. Oh, you feed them. He feeds them. I was like, dude, don't touch my fucking pork. You're not supposed to feed. Mr. Kelly, there is a problem

with you fighting the monkeys. Get your fucking eight legs away from me. Yeah, these fucking monkeys come off the tree and grab my popcorn, dead. Mr. Kelly,

I told you not to have food outside. I just want to let the fans know. I had a choice to post this and I knew this was going to have it. Of course. I did this for you. Yeah.

Listen. No, we hate it. I mean, as I'm reading, I'm going, like, why would he post this? I was like, we're just going to, we're just going to, we're going to, like, an amazing thing they did. There's no, we can just smash him. That's it. Absolutely.

And you should. I'm happy for you. So, I know you're not. So. I am. I love you. So. I don't believe the story, but I'm very thrilled to hear it.

So. I think it's fictional. So, we're the colleges. But the, listen, me and Max and Don like to do shit. Sure. The Calters like to just bring Tampa to where they are. Sick. He was at Starbucks.

I love that about it. We went surfing. We had surf classes. We went surfing. He took photos. He just, he's like, Nah,

I mean, Kaltu would break a surfboard and half if he stepped on it. They had big ones. They had big birds. They had big boards for him. You have to put one on each foot. It looks like Godzilla.

He is built like Godzilla. He's huge. Calta's got a, like a fucking, I like Mike. I like Mike. I think he's handsome and fit. He's the best. He's the best. He's the best. He's got a smoking hot wife, cool house. They're just sloths. We're monkeys. We like to go to do a bunch of shit.

Don planned all this stuff all week. We went surfing. We went, I mean, no, we went, that. That was it. That was it. What was the thing where you do the park? No. Ride the subway? Zipline. Oh, you did that. Fuck that. Dude. I'm Fred Heights. I hate it. I hate it. ever did. Nope. You're 150 feet over the jungle just zipping through.

Monkeys are in the trees. Fucking sloths. It was the best thing I've ever done. One of the best things. The hanging bridges. Have you ever seen any of the ones where the people get caught on, like, the wire? In the middle of it? You were watching those videos?

No. I just said this. There was one of the zip lines. Because I would immediately panic. Dude, I would go like this. Hey, guys! Guys! Dude, I took James to one of those things.

You know, like, in the Palisades Mall, like those skywarks? things. I took him to one in North Carolina in Myrtle Beach and like literally I was in the lowest level. I stepped out one foot I was like I sort of shit my leg sort of shaking like this I was like I can't do it and James just left me and he did the entire course and I just set on the ground like a woman watching him

he was eight six holding his stuff yeah there was one where I didn't make the platform oh really I just ran out of steam so you just I had a shimmy back oh no that's what that but that was but all and all fucking great we went in a nighttime jungle walk

with flashlights. That sounds like the locals were trying to get you killed. Do the local jungle rock, no flashlights. We did a bunch of shit. New Year's on the beach, fireworks, all that shit. But as soon as, you know, as soon as we were,

at 1201, they were like, let's go. And me and Dom were like, we're staying. Yeah. Like, we like to go around. We walked the beach. There was a big bonfire with all the locals. We sat down, met a bunch of people. And they're like, how are you going to get home?

We're like, we'll walk. We'll just fucking walk. The bonfire was good, but it used to be better. Way better. Fucking. I don't like that joke. What are you going to do? I don't like that.

Anyways. So they're leaving a day early. And Dawn's like, I want to rent the car. I want to go drive around. I want to go to other beaches. I want to do shit, you know? So I'm like, fine, whatever you want to do. And we rent the car and we're like, hey, we want to go to this beach up north.

And then we want to apply a Grande, which is a little south. And the guy was like, you should go to this beach in the middle. It's like a local beach. A lot of locals go there. So we're like, fuck it, we'll go. So we pull up. It's a little small. Bobby's telling a story like you write a paper in high school

where you have to hit a certain amount of words. He's checking the count. I got to go to this beach and then went down to that beach and we didn't want to go to that beach. The long hyphens count as words. It's context for why. There's a lot of commas in this, dude. It's context just to why the beach, you know what I mean?

Why you're at the Black Beach? There's vacation beach where all the people go that's a little more safer than this beach, right? Can I ask a quick question genuine? Can you get me a towel, paper towel? Does the topic of white swap come up at all? on vacation. Excellent question. Thank you. What are we going to do if we swap him, sleep and snore?

He has a CPAP machine. No, you fuck. You fuck your buddy's wife. In Costa Rica. We're in our 50s, dude. We should go on a trip together. I've been needing to speak to you about a trip. Just come in. What are you standing there? toilet paper? Paper? Paper. Paper to clean up coffee. It's hilarious. All right. That's enough. There you go.

I just want to clean it. Stay right there. You're going to take it. this stuff. Nice. By the way, good non-reaction to spilling her coffee. You see how bad toilet paper is a cleaning up liquids? Now imagine what it does to your butthole. Just rubs it all around like that. Lewis has started a toilet paper company. Real ass paper. It's got Aska Gwanan and helps your ass.

Honestly, it's got alo, so it actually heals your butthole. That's not a bad idea. Toilet paper with aloeu already in it. Yeah, I think... Al-lubel. Al-lubel. Al-label. Al-label. Al-l-label. So we decided to go to this beach. I used to think it was hilarious. God, did Alabelle stink.

He was not. No, he's funny. He's funny. Yeah, he's funny. He's funny. He's funny. He's talking about it. I was kidding.

I thought everyone was going to jump in on. Actually, put that back in. I go, I really enjoyed watching them. No, don't edit that. What? So anyways, we go to this beach. It's definitely all locals. It's a little, it's not as, you know, pristine as the other beaches.

But we find a little spot in between, like, you know, there's like 50 fucking. people on each side. There's so much. They're cooking fucking shit. I'm exhausted. I let out. I go fucking right out.

I sleep. Dawn and Max take off. Go down to rent jet skis or some shit. I'm fucking sitting there and all of a sudden I feel something on my back. And I'm like, they're fucking with me. I wish it was coming. No, it felt like somebody threw a coconut leaf on my back. Sure.

So I'm like, fucking assholes. Fuck off. You're not getting me. I just stay asleep. 15 minutes later, I just feel something. grabbed my back. I had a lizard on my back for like 20 minutes. It was like this fucking... Whatever.

I screamed like, I went, eh! And I started laughing because nobody around. Don comes up. She's fucking mad. I guess a big wave was coming. Max never told her. And it just smacked her in the face and basically just raked her in the water. She came up mad at Max. Sorry, buddy.

She came up mad. She's like, you know, fucking I cut a yell, whatever. I'll go play with him. I go in the water. Not knowing that this beach it drops off. Sure. It goes like, you know, this, and then just goes.

It's like a show. Joe's on fucking fire today. Give him his cookies. Feed the bullies cookies. Watch him go. So me and Max are playing in the water, and the waves are fucking huge. And, um,

but we're, there's like little waves and then big waves. We're in between the two. Fucking around. All of a sudden, I see this little girl swimming back in. Hell little.

Because this girl is black, no, no, no. You can't tell you that. Do you, what do you watch movies like that? I'm going to get to it. Us talking on a podcast? No, but I'm going to tell you how little. No, I understand, but, you know, I was just, I was chiming in.

I was going to make a joke about how black people can't tell their age. You know, we're doing bits. It's like they're correct. It's a podcast. Apologize. It's fine. You're getting a little nervous. He's a little nervous.

You got to understand. He's not here right now. Listen, man. He's back in that ocean in Costa Rica. This is Bobby stand up. This is hero Kelly. Yeah. A real hero wouldn't have taken a photo of black.

people while they're backlit. That's true. Um, so this little girl's like yelling. She's like, you have to help her. She's pointing back. She's like,

help her, like panicking, going back in. And I look out, and there's a girl out beyond the big waves. You see she's black. So you're like, wait a minute,

teach her how to read? What are we doing? She's help with what? Dan liked it. No, I burped. That was a burp So when you see her

Going like someone needs to go get her Well she's she's not She's not screaming or anything She's fucking Just up to here Yeah but the other girl is screaming The other girl's screaming And uh

Is she her family member? I think it's her little sister Okay Her little sister's going back in And uh I just I said Max stay here I just start swimming out to her And I

As soon as I get to her I know that she's fuck She's like up to here and she's not talking. Her eyes are like, I'm fucking about to die. Yeah, and she goes, is this the guy from tourcassum that broke his knee? She goes, we get these free DVDs.

I prefer maybe Louis. Yeah. Are you Louis bruce? She goes, bang bang, bang. Did you do a bang bang? Fourth of July also, still available online. Great film. Lewis is in it, sort of.

I'm not. Your name's in it. That's a fentany. You're 200% in it. So, I'm three seconds. I deserve more. You're amazing in that film, Bobby. So,

so I see her and I swim, I swim like up to her, but as soon as I swim, I see her kind of going for me. So I just stopped. I don't have my wallet on me. Dude, I don't want no problems.

I'm just trying to watch a movie. Sorry, I'm going back. So wait, is she like on her tippy toes or she's swimming? No, water. Where? You can't even. I couldn't even probably swim to the bottom. Black eyes.

It sucked us out. We were out. Jesus. And the riptide, not the riptie, but the undertow in this beach, it wasn't a riptie, it was an undertow, but it was strong.

Like, she was just getting pulled out. It's like, it's like Kramer telling the story of pulling the golf ball from the whale. She was angry that day. Like, oh, man. George tells the story. Oh, it's George.

Clip it. Whatever you call it. Fix it. Fix it and post. So this girl, she's about to drown. She's about drowned, but as soon as I go up to her, she kind of lunges. I was like, yo, you can't grab me.

You got to... It's just their instincts, but... You got... No, she... If she grabbed me to, like, hold on to me, we're dead. See, I would have immediately let her grab onto me. I didn't know that was a thing. I've watched Baywatch.

I wasn't an asshole. I said, you can't grab onto me. If you grab onto me, we're both dead. I go, just stick your arm out and grab my hand and just kick. That's all I need you to do is kick. I'm going to bring you in. We're good. Do you know how bad that would have sucked if Max is like,

my dad's got her. that happens all the time I'm telling you dude We started swimming back And there was a point You don't know how tough swimming is Swimming's the worst Dude let me tell you right now

Fucking worst When Jay and I were on the Burt cruise Or the tour We went to Florida Alabama And we were like swimming While they were doing surfing And we were like oh we'll go swim in the ocean And there was a moment where we went out too far

And both of us are like joking around But we can't show each other How serious we are that we know that it's like we're getting in trouble. We're like, alright, let's go back. Like, you feel like starting to pull you and you're like, oh, fuck, it is.

The ocean is a motherfucker. It's the worst thing on the fucking planet. It'll just fucking kill you. I'm trying to, I'm side swimming. I'm trying to get her to kick. She grabbed your arm? We're making like an inch at a time. She has my arm.

I'm like, hey, you're doing great. You just relax. We're all good. Everything's good. We're just going to take a little bit at a time. I'm trying to calm her down. She hasn't talked a fucking word since I got out there.

She's panicking. Which is crazy for a black woman. That's crazy. She's in trouble. First time this bitch has ever been quiet in her life. She goes, I'm going to bite this motherfucker's here. I'm like at the shore. So now we're getting a little closer.

Then her father comes out who used to play for the Falcons. This guy's like six something. Damn. In my heart, I'm like, thank God. He comes out. It's over his head. He grabs her hand and goes back in. I don't know if he could swim.

Wait, I miss, hold on. Rewind 10 seconds. He was, I saw his, the father came out. You got to tap his forehead. Your father came out. Yeah. Her father came out, look at my finger. Father came out and I was like, thank God. He grabbed her hand, right?

Her other hand, but. He was trying to kill her. He was over his head. So he let go and ran back, kind of went back in. Sure. So I'm like, what the fuck is going on? They tend to leave their children. Yeah.

Damn. He was like, I'll be right back. I'm just going to get some cigarette. So I'm like, I hope he doesn't listen to it. You're not the dad, you're not the stepdad. You're the dad that stepped up. So I got to keep going, but I'm at the point now where I'm like, I was a little in trouble. Sure.

This is, I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm fucked. You go, luckily I retained some of my buoyancy from my previous fat. Luckily, I remembered how to float. Where was all that floating when I needed it? That's what they named been Bobby. I like that. I'm fucking really like that. Honestly, halfway through that.

I was going to like that. But I really enjoyed it. The act out really sold it. Holy shit. And you were like one for your last 12, so you needed that one. So, and then another guy came out, a Spanish guy came out, and he wound up grabbing her. But he was the hero. Why do we get him on the post?

He grabbed her, but I said to him, we were still up over our head. Sure. So he said both of you. He grabbed her and I'm like, yo, bro, I might need some help because I'm trying to get back in. and it's pulling me back out. Sure. And at this point, I'm fucking done. And I was like, yo, but he didn't speak English.

So I said, yo, bro, I need some help. And he just ignored me 100%. And brought- He was like a bitcho-marcon. He brought her. Grandi, almost like to him. And then the father grabbed her. You know, he grabbed us. They both grabbed them.

And I was like, fuck. So I had to kind of put my head down and say, fuck it. And I got back into it to where my tippy toes could touch. Fuck. How good did that feel? Dude, it was... When I got back in, up to the top, I sat down, I couldn't breathe.

I was on the rat. I was fucked. And Dawn was crying, because she's watching the whole thing. Oh, my God. Yeah, because... The one seems very dramatic on this whole trip. I've got to be honest with you. She was... She was fucked up because...

She's freaking out about a weight hitting her in the face? She's looking at it, and she's probably thinking, like, you better not fucking die for somebody else. I'm in front of my... And that, all that shit's running through my... As soon as I got to her, I'm like, dude, if this is... This chick fucking kills me in front of my son and my wife.

I don't want that shit. You know what I mean? Because people die. Malcolm John, what's his name? Malcolm. Jamal Warner died on the other side of this. People die here all the time from the undertow and the riptides.

So, like, people just don't understand it. And it's, it's not a joke. It's a motherfucker. Sure. Coming back in with another human being was the worst thing I've ever done. I mean, it sucked. And then.

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It needed it. I need it. I mean, dude, look what Lionsman can do for your brain. It genuinely helps with memory, brain function. ADHD, it's a natural help for ADHD, which I definitely have. We know. Read your text. That's fucking Christ.

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You can subscribe, and it'll just come to you every single month. But support Body Brain Coffee because it is the fucking best coffee. That's how I save the girl. Yeah. Body Brain. If I wasn't on buying. The Oshkawanza. She would have died.

That was her name, actually. We're back. What was Max doing? Max didn't give a fuck. He's on the phone. He's on his phone. He goes, Dad, what? As soon as I walked in, the father.

Did you fucking see that, dude? You fucking saved the girl. And he goes, I don't know. I want to go back to the hotel. Now, Max was, no, Max did he was a little fucked up, too, because he saw his dad. He didn't know what was going on. He didn't understand it. John was all fucked up because she understood.

that this girl, we weren't even supposed to be there that day. Who was she? She gets jealous. If I wasn't there, if we weren't there, she was dead. Yeah. Like, her father wasn't going to go get her. Couldn't. Well, that's crazy. I would die if my son was drowning, I would just be like I'm going to die with him. Yeah, but if you can't swim... I'm dying with him. I'll literally drown

100 yards from him, but we're both dying. Guess what, buddy? I'm not watching my son die. A big weight's coming to pull you down. That's it. No, I don't know if he can swim. I just... It was weird that he grabbed her and went back in. I don't know. Maybe he can't swim. I don't know. Sure.

But, yeah, but she was so far out. And she was... My plan was thwarted. He goes, I was trying to cut that child's port in half. She was about to go. How old was this? Fuck. She's around between probably...

36, 37? I don't know, 13, 15. Oh, fuck. So 14. Yeah, she was around... Between 13 and 13. I mean, 13, 13, 15. She's between 13 and 15.

13, 14, Bobby. That number's 14, Bobby. No, right between 13 and 15. I can never remember. that one. What the fuck is it? He started with an F. Either, either 13, 14, to 50.

Oh, fuck, dude. I know one of them starts with an F, but I get slammed with it. 13, the next one. Really confused. I mean, I got to jump to 15. You know what? We'll come back and we'll take care of it later. You know, as soon as I, as I...

13 and a half? I, that doesn't sound right. As soon as I saved her, I just, I envisioned doing this podcast. Oh, here you go. But, yeah, dude, she was, she was, she was gonna, she was definitely gonna go. She was going to be dead. Lewis, I don't know what you said to him to Lewis, but he's wet.

I spilled water all over myself. That was crazy. You're trying to drown yourself, trying to get Bobby to save you in the studio. It's weird. Do it again. Do it again. Help. I think I'd save him?

No, it's weird to see somebody that look close. She was, she was, I've never seen terror in somebody's eyes. Yeah. Like, she was like, I'm going to fucking die. And I, the reason why I know, because at some point coming back in, I was like, I don't know if I can make it. Sure. If nobody comes out, I don't know if we're making it back in past where...

Now, imagine anybody athletic had been there. This would have been a non-statement. Honestly, it was 10 feet from short. If this was three and a half years ago, she's dead. Yeah, oh, my God. Absolutely. She goes, no, why is that boat coming for me? The best thing you could do is just jump in real hard and hope enough water disperses.

You guys get her feet on the water. So she rides the wave like a flintstone all the way to the beach. But it's all like dead dolphins. Yeah. Now, I'm not allowed back in Costa Rica. because they said I killed a lot of the important sea life. They're calling it

displacement, illegal displacement. I had to pay the three fishing boats. The man coming and the wave over the boat. But he said the black girl. This man. But the father, as soon as we got back up, he came over and like held me.

That's great. Like he came over and just, he's like, he was so fucked up. He was, no, he was emotional, though. It was a real, it was a real situation. Like it wasn't like a You kind of see I mean she was gonna fucking die

And then you go to his ear and you go Forgive me forever saying the N-word No I didn't do that You're blessed Always forgiven But I wound up seeing him at the airport The next day He's like yo man you got a dollar

He was an ex-NFL player That's awesome And he didn't try to save his daughter But he tried But it was It was You can't go She's not going for a first down

She's drowning and he can't swim I understand what you're saying. It's crazy. He did try. You don't have a kid. Imagine your dog. Mertel. Fucking,

she could paddle. That Mertal bitch. Yeah. Fuck that. Dog. Burtle. Would you save you? If your dog was way out,

you go and save him? I'd go save any of you. I'd save a person I didn't know. I'd go, I can swim. I look Dan trying to fucking take your fucking hero. That's weird. What is weird?

How would I take my, how would I explain that? Because you're saying it, I did it. You did it. Yeah, you'd absolutely do it. You'd absolutely do it. He's acting like I wouldn't do it because I don't have a kid.

I'll tell you this, though. When you, when I... Your head would just wait you to get around. I go, listen, buddy, we're going to the bottom. I hope you're into treasure hunting. Because we're going to be looking for it on the bottom. He goes, she goes, stay away. Stay away.

Stay away for me. You're going to fuck trouble me. Look how big you fucking have. I'm just coming out of like a gator. You're going to pick a submarine to go and explore Dan skulls. Dude, I found a tiara from the 20. Must have gone over it. And I found this.

I found old glasses. These are relics. A voyage to Dan's head. He's diving. He's not going to save that girl. Scootod diving tours to dance head. Everybody get on the top. Go on the bottom.

You can actually swim through it. Oh, take my picture in it. Fucking Scoop whatever gets caught in my mouth hole. A shark lives in your eye. And then swims back in. You just see the out. Ah, shit. Yeah, dude, when you, as soon as I, when I was swimming out to her, I was, and when I got

to her, I was like, I don't know if I, this was my to be. I regret this. Not that I regret it, but it's like when I saw her that she was definitely going. How many followers do you have? He's kicking his legs. Hey, what's your, what's your TikTok like? I wish somebody videoed it. It would be a fantastic.

Because you know, if they videoed it, it wouldn't look. so dramatic. It was probably only fucking 10 feet off to fucking... How long was the whole incident from beginning to end? 10 minutes or like 2 minutes? It was probably No, I don't know. I have no idea.

It seemed like when I got her, I got to her pretty quick, but when we were coming back in, it was taking so long to get... We were only making like an inch at a time and I was getting fucking exhausted. That she was pulling you, you like felt it. She was holding... No, she did great.

No, I'm talking about the... water. Yeah. I mean, how many people on the beach are watching? Well, was this like a big dramatic scene

or the people that knew, knew? Well, here's the thing. It's like, when I had that lizard on my back, I had all these people around me,

nobody was paying attention to anybody. And when I looked up, there should have been somebody, but I don't know if it's that we were that far out or we were, you know,

you couldn't, you didn't understand, like, nobody understood it. They just probably saw. There's some people swimming. I don't think her father understood it at first, too,

until the, The younger daughter came up and went to them. And then he goes, why is that white man aggressively swimming at your sister? Hey, she's a teenager. And then someone else goes, look, racial harmony. Yeah, like none of the locals. There was one local dude that came out, but there was groups of people all around, young guys, all that shit. But nobody surfs on this beach.

Like, you know, you could. Yeah, surfer would have been the guy to get to see. You could tell. Surfers can swim in fucking heavy. And they have the board. They know how to. He didn't even do the board. I'm saying something.

Like an athletic surfer. They're used to dragging fucking things behind them. On this beach, I think it was because of the drop off and it wasn't a safe beach that there was no surfers anywhere. Speaking of board, let's wrap this up. All the other beaches had surfers all over the fucking place.

Nobody came. So there wasn't a big scene when you got her back on the beach. From the length of this story, I would assume this was a three-day save. Nobody fucking, nobody else came. It was weird. There was so many other guys that could have did this. Damn.

Yeah, nobody. else. Do you think just no one heard or no one saw her sister? I don't think anybody knew what the fuck was going. We were the own, me and Max, and those two girls were the only people in the water at that part of the beach. It was nobody for like a long ways either side. That was it. Those two girls, me and Max. And if me and Max weren't in the water, she was fucking done. She was dead. She was dead. Now, what do you think what was her dad doing? Just beach shit? Well, they had a big family. They were on the beach doing what me and Don, whatever was doing. They were just hanging out, fucking chilling. And, uh, they, they were. They were just hanging out, fucking chilling. And, uh, they

They left as soon as she came up, they were like, we're getting the fuck out of here. And so did we. We went to a way better beach, calmer, waves and shit like that. We were the fuck out of there, too. But were you, Don hugging and kissing and crying? No, Don was crying because she was just, she got like emotionally. She's like, we weren't who was supposed to be here today. And that girl would have died if you were here.

And it would have been Dawn's fault had you died because she convinced you to go to this fucking beach away. Damn. Yeah. It would be completely Dawn's fault. It would have been 100% her little adventurous fucking. You know how funny Max would have been? As an adult, if you died, that tragedy would have made him so funny. If you watched you drown.

Oh, my God. We'd all be opening for him in fucking five years. Plus, Calta could have a threesome. Calta left. Oh, he was gone? When he went to go saber. He's like, I can't like it. Calta wouldn't rent a car and go to a fucking local beach.

He barely went to the beach down the street. But it was pretty fucking crazy. And that's your last day in Costa Rica? Last day in Costa Rica. So you just happened to bump into them at the airport? We were at the airport, and there they were. We had to go to Atlanta to JFK, and they live in Atlanta, so they were on the same flight. Wow.

How did they react? Were they like... He came up and hugged me again. He came up, hug me, she came over, the mother came over. Yeah, what was your reaction with her like now that she... She came over and hug me too. Like, at the beach, she came over and gave me a big hug. She's like, thank you so much.

You know, she was still... She was... What can I do for you sexually, sir? No. Come on. Come on. Come on. But to the serious point.

Come on, she taught him how to dance. Haven't you watched a movie from the 90s? She was standing at rhythm like this. And Bobby goes, I'm doing it like that. No, the family was fucking. He was the nicest guy I've ever met. He was so sweet. For a big-ass motherfucker, he was like the nicest guy.

And at the airport, he came up and hug me again. The mother came up, and it was pretty... What I'm impressed by is you just jumped into it. You didn't even fucking think. Well, I was a lifeguard for two years. That's not a long time. I was a Jewish camp. Yeah, but they were like, we go a long history of being a life.

lifeguard. Yeah. You didn't fucking serve on the beaches of Malibu. I mean, I have heard do not let somebody like grab on you. Like, but I wouldn't have known what to do. My instinct would have kicked in to just been like, all right, get on my back. So what do you do? You hold the person's hand and then you just side-shed them?

No, as soon as you walk up, as soon as you get up to them, you have to tell them you can't. Their instinct is to grab you and hold you like a float. Yeah. And we're both dead because I was tired when I got to her. Yeah. When I swam out to her, I was fucking tired, dude. So as soon as I went out there I saw her eyes kind of

You know and I was you gotta not grab me Just sneak your arm out And I will pull you back in at arm's length And we're gonna I side stroked in which sucked Yeah Because I can't really fuck it I can't I pass my lifeguard course

And literally by two seconds He went two One and I did that And he was like I guess you passed It's also Jewish summer camp Or they're like excuse me There's a lot of flies It was also in 1981

John Fish was one of the kids At my name at the camp Oh yeah were you as counselor? I was not his counselor but I was not his counselor but I know that's what Ray Ellen said You spelled his name wrong. Yeah I forgot to see but yeah he was a he was a A kid at the at the camp I should change that But uh he spelled his first and last name and then I did uh I did uh I did uh I did a

I did one year at a old folks condominium that's fun Yeah it was the best job ever I loved it but that one thing stuck in my head when I got to her. Because it was, it was deep, man. It was fucking deep. And the waves were fucking... I think I would have, I really believe the same thing is that. I would have just, I think, sprung to action.

I think it would have just been like a... Well, if you see someone that needs help, especially swimming. Because, like, there are people that go in the water don't know how to... I'm a pretty good swimmer. I just, I would have made the mistake of being like... Get on me! One time I brought... We were in Jamaica, a villain.

We weren't on a beach. And it was like rocks. Like cliffs. You could, like, cliff died. But the water was pretty rough. James was maybe seven or eight I was encouraging him to go in and I think about this all the time I was like

dude if he would have went and he would have drowned I would have jumped in we would have both drowned I was like I really think back to it I was like it was too rough and I really I'm so happy that he was too afraid he was on the edge going like no dad I was like come on stop being a pussy jump into this rough rocky water that's your last moment on earth

and then you go oh no I gotta go in there grab me baby giants I'm thinking about it it's like it makes me me like fucking like I'm so happy he didn't jump in that water. Yeah, I'm so happy Max didn't follow me out. Yeah. Because Max stayed in because if he followed me out of, we would have been fucked. Yeah.

Because he wouldn't be able to go back. He's a good swimmer, but he's... No. He would have had to literally be like, I'm sorry, girl. He goes, my dad. He's grabbed his arm. My dad. I did.

I did make that. Your dad's at the beach. My dad's right. She goes, my dad got 46 tackles in the 2006 season for the Falcons. And he goes, well, my dad's hearing. No, but there was a point when I went out there that I was like, I'm not dying in front of my kids.

So if this chick jumps on me, I'm getting the fuck out of here. Get a head of butter? No, seriously, you're supposed to not. If they do, do that. Max is watching us. My dad got to her. They're tussling. Did he just put his thumb in her throat?

Is he couching her eye? Get the fuck off me. You fucking get a crap. You're dying. Go to Max and die, you stupid bitch. Wait, so what are you supposed to do if they grab you? He's a big shirketer. If they grab you...

Fucking dumb it! I mean, I don't know if this is true. I think that you... Some, you can knock them out. Like, you know, punch... You're thinking of sharks? Yeah, you hit them really... You hit them really hard on the nose or go for their eyes.

You can't, you can't let them kill you. You're supposed to... You can't let them grab you. Right. You got to get away from... What does it say? What does it say online about the move of somebody grabs on you what you're supposed to do? You gotta get away from it.

We should all know. By the way, this should be standard. They should teach you to you in, like, high school. Like, ninth grade swimming class, they should be like, this is how to save somebody from fucking drowning. Nobody knows. Nobody teaches you that I'm looking over.

I know. Bobby knows. Oh, damn. With a period at the end. I know. Can't even put on something at the end. You on your period when it happened? Hello.

Hey. Boom. That's cookie fuel. Let's say. What does it say? If someone grabs you while swimming, especially in a panic, use the suck.

Tuck. You got to blow them. I'm supposed to suck her off. Suck in breath, tuck your chin, protect your neck, then duck underwater and push away with your hands and feet and yell for help. Yeah. Wait, go all the way to the end. Oh, as a panics. Wait, go back up. You're cutting off the funniest sentence.

As a panic person's grip is dangerous and can lead to two drownings. If it's intentional harassment, break the hold with a targeted strike. Yeah, he's going to eyes. Yeah, you're supposed to hit him. This is a strike, dude. No, you're supposed to hit them because they'll kill you. You're supposed to knock it and then grab them. Well, yeah.

Karate chop. Well, if they get it. Nothing there says knock them out and drag it. Literally says targeted strike. No, this is if somebody's trying to attack you in the water. No, but if somebody's drowning and they're trying to grab you, they're trying to use you as a foe. You're not supposed to. Bobby, if you punch somebody in the face and knock them on the water and they drown, you're probably going to jail.

You won't. You won't. I don't know if you're supposed to knock them out, but you're supposed to get the fuck away from any way possible. You know, because they'll kill you. And I was, here's the thing is when the dot, when the little. sister was like, help her. I looked, believe me, I looked around. You anybody else? For anybody?

I looked around for anybody. There was no. Going once? I would hope. Okay. I'll do it, Max. Go tell your mom that I might die. I would hope that I would, like, honestly not help. I would hope that I would have the wherewithal to not die in front of my son. But he didn't die.

But he didn't. He's a hero. He's got a switcher. Very close. He's got a post on Instagram. We were very close to Bobby not being on the podcast today. We would have still done it. Yeah, we could have got Karen or whoever.

You guys would have went on very fast. They grab you, dive underwater, they'll let go. Oh, smart. They grabbed me and go. And she goes, oh, man. If I died, you'd have one year of a benefit at the stand. The village underground. We'd do the Gramercy first, and then it would move to the stand.

We would name the ring at Skank Fest after you. Oh. The Bobby Kelly. Oh, my God. The phone calls I would have to make like in the next three years where I go, yeah, we're still doing the benefit. Shane, come on, it'd be big if you do it for us.

Also, come on. The money goes to Dawn and Max. I'm dressing up his danger field. I don't even know her. We made a bet. She's gay. Who would die for us? And whoever dies for us

is to pay the other one $1,000. So I would have had to contact Dawn and be like, Don, I need my grand. That's so funny. Don, do you have them? there's a request go check your requests it says

bad Bobby I mean Bobby died with a clip that Pacco pulls from the old episode yeah it was it was pretty fucking well you saved a girl's life and it's fucking awesome

we love you we do love you you're fucking for real thank you fellas it's a cool fucking thing what you did the post was gay as hell well when I wrote the post

what you did was cool I want it's fucking weird the the real emotions you go through when you do this shit. Sure. And I was like, dude, I'm going to do this, but it's going to be the greatest podcast.

It's going to be hilarious. The shit I'm going to get. I mean, DeRosa and Keith Robinson FaceTime me from the mothership. That night. Trashed Austin. Good transition. They trashed me from the green room. And it was hilarious.

I got a picture of DeRosa the next time that he tries to talk shit that I just got in my fucking holster. I got a response for that boy. Hey, everybody, this episode is brought to you by prize picks. The action on prize picks is hotter than ever with playup matches every weekend. An elite hoops action almost every night. Just follow your instinct and pick your lineup. Guys, it's the NFL playoffs.

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Prize pick even lets you see your friends lineup. Send them your picks or copy and paste their picks into your lineup. That's good for something like Bobby. You don't follow all that closely. Dan follows like crazy. You can text Dan and say, hey, what are your picks? Dan can send your picks. Boom, you got the picks. All you got through right now is download the prize picks app today and use the code regs, reggg, to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That is code regs, R-A-G-Z to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Price picks. It's good to be right. All right, where were we?

And did you see any young comics in Austin? Who's Lewis's Twitter fighting with? I have no idea what's going on either. What is happening with what? What's our? No, we talked shit on this show. We? We? You. We all did.

We all did. You. We all did. We all did. I love Austin. What's about a backpedaling? We all did. Austin is number. one in the world, which

means universe. Best city. Easy. Let's look a get carried away. Best Keso. Best barbecue. I love Barton Springs. I saved the girl there.

Too cold, but the girls can have their tits out. That's fun. Too hot to handle. Too cold. Shout out, Cisco's. Best place for breakfast. I brought James to Marne Springs.

I love it. When it was like maybe seven and then it was girls. I'm not going to disrupt you, but it's mid. Magnolia Cafe. fucking love it. The pancakes are good.

Yeah. So anyway, we talked shit on the show. You knock shit. All right, we did this. I love Rogan. So, we went through a whole the list of comedians that were better in New York

than they were better in Austin. You're the one that said, added, anyone that moved to Austin fucking couldn't hack it. Joe, who are you fucking afraid of? LaMere, you f***! Shut up! We got it. You're afraid of these people? Who fucking cares? No, you little

bitch. Take your fucking credit for being the one that's on video. Bring it up the clip. And right now we're going to edit it in. Thanks for watching that. You said that everyone there could crack it in New York. Let's just be real. I stand by that. I stand by the fact that

Lamar said something nice about me. Okay. What did he say? He said, no, he's good. That's all you got to say to Joe. You got him to turn on his friends? He didn't even know what happened. Yeah, what happened? I was too busy saving lives in Costa Rica.

The problem was getting a medal, which in Costa Rica is just one of those chocolate things covered in gold. Top of a tuna can. This is our highest award. And how was a bumble bituna? Thank you for saving the girl. You are now our king. There is an old boot. We cite this from the Danzoro's submarine excursion.

He found a boot and this tunica. You are our best. You are a best visitor. I got the best visitor. You are best visitor ever to Costa Rica. Thank you, Bobby, for not letting a black girl die. I don't know what happened. What happened?

I know we talked about, they didn't somebody say Austin's the best? We didn't get it on this show already. So we don't have to rehash the entire. conversation. And then what? I brought up the fact that me and Tony had a little playful argument on text. It was a good argument. You made some points. Yes, I said that New York had more talent than Austin. And buddy, that's been the case since this city was formed. I felt like that was the truth. And I think that a lot of people that watch that clip, New York City is a much larger

city. We're the original five families. Come on. You're just six, six or seven decades of being number one in comedy and just thousands of seven decades? Seven decades, yeah. Okay. Well, you think the 20s, the L.A. was doing better? Well, seven decades ago, wasn't the 20s, Dan. Well, nobody was going to Austin. It was 100 years ago. Nobody was going to Austin 20 years.

I think the 90s still. I mean, we're talking stand-up comedy, though. Yeah, stand-up comedy was New York for more than seven decades. Since the 40s, 50s? I mean, when did really people start doing stand-up comedy here? I think stand-up clubs started in the 70s. Okay. Oh, Nick.

So, yeah, it's like 60 years ago. Okay. Yeah. But they were doing, like, comedy in the fucking-in-s-gill. They were doing it here in the 60s. Yeah. I mean, I don't exactly know the exact. Popa Cabana with Don Rickles.

Yeah, so maybe like 40s. Let's see. The improv opened in 64. That's the first venue. But what about the first stand-up comedy performances? Because Lenny Bruce was before that, right? Bitter End over in the... Yeah, they were doing like...

It was like jazz music and comedy. God, there's me being a hero again. Stripped class. It's coming up. Whenever we have a moment. There goes. You know what, I really think the Star Wars. theme would be good.

I went with food fighters. But I really thought Pet Midler would have been the best. Dude, I'm Emperor Papatine. Dude, I'm thinking about it. Don, I'm spitballing here. Indiana Jones. What if I do the Indiana Jones theme song?

But instead of him running from the Boulder, the boulder saving the girl in the water. It would have been a better one. It was a lot of choices. But I didn't even go, you went right. I went left. That would have been a better. You went so on the nose with it.

You picked a song named Hero. I just typed Hero. That's about Kurt Cobain. It's about another man. So, so. So, because of that episode. So, yeah, we, whatever. We went out and talked some shit or whatever.

So then I guess Lamar must have seen the episode. And at like four in the morning, he started tweeting. I love four. Like New Year's Eve. Yeah. Really? And he tweeted, it's weird that the regs talk crap about awesome comedy when one fourth of them as funny as Danny Braff,

which was offensive to Danny Braff because Danny Braff's actually funnier than Lamere. That should be pointed out. Period. Yeah. Danny Braff's a really funny stand-up comic. Danny's very funny. He's a funny dude. This is what the kids call a stray. Yeah, Danny caught astray. There you go. For no reason. I'm learning a lot about the other people.

For no reason. Danny's a fine mother-on- We might call you reported, but no one else came. How did you feel about that, Danny, when you saw it? Well, he was using your words back at you. What do you mean? On the podcast, when you were doing the whole awesome thing. you said 80% of the comics and all of a sudden aren't as funny as Danny Braff.

So I didn't take it that person. No, that's not true. I didn't say that on the podcast. I said that on Twitter. You said it before and on the podcast. It's just being December 30th, 2025, and you're like, was this? You said it on the podcast.

So, Daniel, are you now getting LaMeres back? You fucking. No, you stink, Danny. I'm with Lemaire too. You fuck it, you stink. Lamar's right, actually. Danny. I love Lemaire and I,

Resslingu. He's awesome. I've always loved Lemares back. But Lambert, LaMere decided to take a shot at me. So now Lamarer... I don't know it's you, though. Well, it's me or you. If you're talking about stand-up, it's me.

If you're talking about podcasting, it's you. First of all, I've been great at podcasting for a long time. I just... I'm done. You've earned your right. I'm sitting. I'm in the back of the truck. Dude, you are a teacher about to retire.

Yeah, dude. I didn't... You go, I don't know. We're watching a video again, D. Because you little fucks don't want to learn. Fifteen years of fucking murdering podcast. I'm just chilling. All right?

Yeah, dude. This is Mr. Holland's opus at the very end after his deaf kids grown up. Hey, let's get into the Starbucks run. Yeah! Come on, let's go! Woo-hoo! Too much? Too much.

I would vote for him for the mayor of New York City. That sucked. Wow. That sucked, and I know. That was pretty good. Everyone's laughing. No, I was laughing at you. Not everyone's reaction to that.

That counts. That counts. For the coffee, real quick. I just sent this to red bar. It's so funny. Oh, my God. You went back. Yes.

Oh, yeah, I went back, of course. Oh, you went back? Can we read some of these? Sure, please. All right, please. Go back up. Go back up. Jesus Christ.

He's always... Just a regular... I'll text you what I want. Regular coffee with a little bit of cream and one pump of sugar for vanilla. Thank you, Paco. I'm going to text you what I want? Medium. Medium.

Paco. Get my... Pago. Ice tea. Yeah. Yeah. Green ice tea. I got you, dog.

I'm texting you my order. Ice tea for Bobby. Green ice tea? Coffee for me. Got it. Enjoy the ratio fog. Two splendors in my tea. That's good.

It was actually fig. I like that. Wait, hold on. Go back to Shane and Matt in Lemares' DX. I love that. I want that, dude. I fucking want that as a shirt. I fucking love this.

I mean, Lemaire, people start trashing Lemaire, and he goes, you know, goes back and forth all day with people. Then I chimed in a few times. You don't know what you talk. about your name is, what is it? Hang on. A crack ticket, a crack is like your guy. Crack, him will always catch me. He's your virtual. Mother fucking man. Let me tell you that

right now. Crackamico is talented, good dude. Dan's trying to not get a song written about him. I got two good ones written. I'm the only one that he's written good songs about me. Get out of him. I love Crackamee. I love Crack. I love Crack, too. In fact, crack, we need you for the documentary. Can we use your music, please? We have no one to score the

movie. He's a dude that you meet after you listen to his mean raps and you go. Oh, this is even better because you're a nice guy. All right. All right, here we go. No, crack rules. Red bars the fucking man. I love these guys.

Don't forget Joe. Joe's trying to go over all this podcast that trash. Love him. Too lazy to try. My favorite thing in the world. God, that guy's videos. How does he get him up so quick? The other one.

I can't think of the other one. Page frequency. Oh, my God. One of an artist. I watch them all. People act like they don't watch them, but comics watch them all. Well, too lazy to try is my favorite thing on Earth. I promise you I'm watching that video.

Who's the bitch guy? the total bitch. He works right now. He's so fun. He works for Gaston. He's really. He flew from California to work for gas station. He's so fun.

Who's total bitch? He does those weird videos where he goes, you might not know this, but Dan Soder started a whole thing. He like makes up a video of why I'm afraid. He's making fun of the reaction videos. It's awesome. So it's like he does fake documentaries on like,

it's so funny. It's very good. Yeah. Big Jay sent me one and he's like, this guy rules. And I started watching him and I followed him. Shout out Asher. He's officially.

guest digital producer now. He's been working with us. He's the man. Yeah. So, look, there's not a ton here. But take us through like Bobby did. What's the first reaction when you saw the tweet? Who is the guy that whispers into your ear that a second plane hit the tower? Mike Rominelli The Dojo of Comedy was at my house. Sam Tripoli slept

at my house after he did Legion of Skanks last week. Mike Romanoly, the owner of Dojo Comedy, shows up to pick up Sam Tripoli. And he's like, he was like, oh, this Le Maire stuff, huh? And I was like, what LaMere stuff? He was like, oh, dude, he's taking shots at you, Danny Braff. And I was like, what? Then I look at it, and I see what's going on. You're in a robe?

And then, to be fair, thank you, Sam, for staying at La Casa Gomez. I really was. I need to go inside and shuffle into my study. Pull up the picture of me on Instagram with Sam Tripoli. You should get everybody a robe. Really? Everybody at your house should get a robe when they walk in. Yeah, robes.

I'm all about that robe life. Roe life is sick. Role life is fucking. Lewis's house is sick, too, by the way. Oh, thank you. Oh, you went for the first time. That's right. It's robust.

He fucking did. I want to go out there. You live close to Jay, right? Yeah, like 50 minutes. All right, I'll come over. I'm supposed to go hang at his house and I'm getting a zip car. Very similar houses as far as nice. I've got to pull.

Lewis is just different gyms in the rooms. No, my gym downstairs is fucking sick. Nice, Doug. Lewis's gym is the way to use. Oh, play murder factory. Oh, my God, you really work. Nice Christmas Street. Thanks, man.

Sam, Sam, is that a satsy road? Sam, the only interaction I had with him was so, nice at Skankfest because I was only there. Sam walked up to me. It was just super nice and then walked away. He walked up because you are so funny. And I was like, thanks Sam. But I didn't know if he was like on drugs or whatever. So I was like, thank you. Sam rolls. He's great. So yeah, that's what happened. Mike Romanelli told me. And then I called LaMere immediately. And I'm like, Lamar, I was like, what the fuck is this? And he's like, oh man, you know, and I was like, well, now I have to kill you. I was like, did he sound nervous when he picked

up? I don't know. I'm nervous. I was just like, look. like we're boys. Like if you got a problem with something I say, just pick up the fucking phone and call me because that's what I do, right? If I have a problem with something that some one of my friends, quote unquote, say, because Lamar is somebody that I put on

Skank Fest year after year after year, Legion of Skanks, Story Wars, Real-Ast podcast. Before Lemaire had famous friends, we were the fucking famous friends. So now I get that Lemaire has followed Shane to Austin and gets to live on his fucking couch, right? But guess what? Poolehouse.

Lemaire's only fucking getting Austin's back because Shane lives there. If Shane moved to Iceland, well then Lemaer will be in Iceland coming. you right now. LaMere would be a fucking New York comic if Shane moved back to New York let's get fucking real. I'm a following And Reykivik wants Shane.

Reikovic wants Shane and Iceland. Bad for the whole thing. That almost was a bomb dana, but man Lewis pulled me. No, I got the context. Yeah, I think no one knows what Reykiv is. It's the capital of Iceland. I thought it was the president. Does Shane have a, how big is his pool house? It's nice.

Plus, it's pretty decent. You can be the lifeguard. It's nice. New Year. New Year. New me. Great comment, though. Great comment. Somebody called you the C-slug. That's great. C-slug is great. Come on. Why don't I get it? Because the slug. The slug. Oh, it's S-E-A. The S-A. I honestly didn't get it. I was thinking the letter C. All right. I'm back. That's good. The slug is great. So anyway, whatever. I, like, I'm literally going to, like, Lamar, like, you're somebody who, like, I've looked out for who we've helped out, who I've always thought we were friends and fucking cool.

And then people are like, no, LaMere just gets fucking drunk. And then I think Crackamico nailed it because the next day, Lemire, like, double down and sort of arguing with everybody. But I think he was just drunk tweeting. His feelings got hurt because he heard us talking about this and he took it personally. And I wasn't talking about Lamere because I've always thought Lamar was funny and cool. I was talking about a couple other people. But regardless, it doesn't even matter.

He took it personally. And then the next day, he was like, well, now I'm going to make it pro wrestling and double down and keep on fucking tapping in on this. Sure. So you, and so So now I've told him on the phone. I'll show you right now. After you talk to him on the phone, though,

that's when you go to Twitter. Yeah. So you call? Because I'm a man, and I will just pick up a phone and call somebody before I'm going to start shitting on them on social media. But do you feel bad at all?

Because then everyone just started trashing him. No. You did it to himself. You do it to yourself. And that's what really hurts. Let's say. What does this say? Read the sentence to Rebecca and Christine.

Just that one. Just an FYI, Limer Lee will not be getting an offer for Skank Fest this year. And let, can I read the second text? Can I please read the second text? Nope. Can I please read the second text? Come on.

He says, just in FYI. Limer Lee will not get an offer for Skag Fest this year. Unless he properly bends the knee. L.O.L. publicly. L.O.L. Unless you, unless you, and then you wrote, he can do Tony Fest. Oh, that's good.

That's funny if Tony comes out with his own. They will. They will. They will. Everybody does Tony Fest. I love the Lewis goes, hey, by the way, he's not booked. Unless.

I'm just knowing the Lewis, the unless. Unless he drinks nothing but body brain coffee for the next year. Ben and then you can be involved in all the cool shit that we fucking do. Otherwise, fucking just be a co-tail-riding pussy who lives in somebody else's poolhouse. Funnier moves if Shane starts shame fest and doesn't invite you. And books all three of us. We have to do the regs with it.

Yeah. I go, guys, part of the money that Shane's paying us means that we can't have Lewis here. But we do have some more. We're going to read the text he's sending us, which are pretty aggressive. It was funny, though, because it was like New Year's Eve is when I saw it. And I was like, all right, 2026. I'm putting my phone away. I'm getting a box and putting it in there.

I'm off social media. Enough of this for shit. I waste too much time. And then I saw that. I spent like the first 45 minutes being like, ooh. Really? That's good. Because it was a lot.

By that time, it was a lot. see any of these. I only saw... I didn't see it either. I didn't feel bad. People were going hard at LaMere. Danny, I'll put an end of this. I'll go to Austin and do guest spots on all their big comic shows and then come back to New York and do guest spots on all of our comic shows and tell you who's better. Danny, and won't you

fucking, why don't you be a fucking man and stand with fucking New York? Stand with us. The guy takes a shock to New York's better. I think, Danny, by the way, you had a better joke immediately following. I think everybody is right. The only way to decide who is funnier in New York or Austin is for me to go on Rogan and discuss it. I think that

That should have been your only tweet. Yeah, Danny's trying to capitalize here. Yeah, he's trying to get in that pool house. Good Lord, that's a mean tweet. Lemaire, I was at one of your shows. I've seen iguana's funnier than you. Whoa. Whoa.

That's what the iguana was doing on Bobby's back. It's funny than a movie. I'm sorry, we're going around for the iguana. That's the comedy of Guana of Costa Rica. No, the mare's funny. This one's worse. I also, like, I am being bombastic here. Mr. Bumbus.

Lewis has had you on multiple podcasts and you take shots at him. Weird move. You're going to regret this when the booze wears off. Brother, your mouth to God's ears. Lamar, you're literally a black roly-poly and not funny at all. That's not even up there. This is just being personal.

So you call, what did he say on the phone? Was he like, my bad or? He was just kind of like giggly and like whatever, like nervous. I don't want to see nervous because he was just like normal. And I was like, dude, I was like first of all I wasn't even fucking talking about you you're like my boy it was like you're you're taking it way too personally and it was like yeah

and then I was like well now I have to go and fucking kill you and what do you say with that I guess okay yeah but you must respect it a little bit he's like a real ass dude right now yeah sure that is a real ass dude move I'm not really mad but I will make him fucking sweat and I will talk shit about him will you New York smells like shit and piss and so do the comic that's great

honestly not wrong yeah and then I'll take a step further, New York club's book, some of the worst comics I've ever seen in my fucking life. All you're going to be is a girl with 100,000 followers, and you can own that scene. There's like three girls that he's talking about, and they have more than 100,000 followers.

I wouldn't say that's indicative of what New York is. That's actually more indicative of what Austin is, or L.A. or any of these fucking scenes. All those girls that they're talking about go down to Austin and headline those clubs. So what are you talking about? Sounds like Lemaire versus Lewis boxing match is the only way back in for Skankham.

Look, I've always liked Lemaire, and I will always like Lemaire. Lamar, you know, a buddy of mine. But I did think it was a weird move to, forget even anything else. Like, you're like, we weren't wrong about the conversation about Austin. There's better comics in New York.

It's not even up for fucking debate. It's not a debate. Also, Shane's a Philly comic. Yes. And Philly, most of that scene is in Austin. So I don't even think Austin can claim them because all those guys... Where's Lamar from?

Philly. Philly. He's a Philly comic that lives in Austin. Yes. Because of Shane. Yeah. Shane, Matt, Butterly, Rainey,

La Mare, Gardini. Those guys are all down there, but they're Philly comics. So I don't even think it's Austin versus New York. Tommy's down there too, right? Tommy and Chris. Tommy and Chris. Tommy and Chris.

By the way, like most of the Philly guys that went down there are pretty fucking funny. Philly's great. Yeah. Philly's got to get... We were jokingly calling it New Philadelphia for a while because it was just everyone is Philly.

Yeah, it's like Boston when we all came here. Yeah. We all came here. No, Philly, honestly, I've said that. It's a new Boston. Yeah. I agree with that.

Boston ended with me. I'm like the last guy. Damn. And then there's no one. Seriously, I'm not even trying to be like an asshole. Like who, who's like the from Boston came up with those guys that has moved? There hasn't been a group. There hasn't been a group.

But who's a guy? That was when Philly took over. Right. You left and then Philly. I'm not trying to be like humorous. They have Drew Montana and Naim who are both hilarious. But there are a bunch of guys in Philly. A lot of funny guys still in Boston.

Chicago's real good, too. It just never left. Chicago's got a good scene. Chicago's real good. Those guys just kill, but nobody knows who they are. Yeah, it's like this Boston has a huge comedy scene, but they're local dudes that murder. Like Tony V. No, no, but I'm talking after me.

Obviously, Tony V and all them. And then there was you, Dwayne Perkins, Dane, Stanhope, Leno, fucking... Patrice. Billy, Gary. Burr, Gorman. Yeah. Me. And who after me?

Let's do plug so I could eat my thing where you guys are you. Plug time. Can we name one? What? No. A comic from Boston after me that's gone to New York, L.A., whatever. You were my introduction into the depths of the Boston scene. So I only knew it from the Everett House of Comedy, from you, Tom, and Bulger, and Ira, and, like, you know, all those guys.

Let's do plugs and get into something funny. Stop telling it me. Hey, guys. This is naming old Boston comics. I'm Dan Soder, and I'm back on the road in February. February 13th, I'm going to be. be in Orlando, Friday, February 13th, and then Saturday, I'm going to be in Tampa on Valentine's Day.

So bring a date. Buffalo, New York, February 28th, Boston and Philly, March 6th, and 7th, DanSoter.com for all my dates through May and listen to Soter. Thank you. Who's next? I'll go next. Go to punchup. com.

I'm going to be in Sarasota, the 16th and 17 at McCurdy's, and then Poughkeepsie at Laugh-It-Up, Comedy Club, the 23rd, and 24th, and then I'm going to Greenwood Village, doing the comedy works out of town on the 6th and the 7th. I think Danny's going to be with me on that. And then I'm going to be in Cincinnati, Ohio, the 12th, the 13th, and the 14th at the Attic Comedy Club. And then... I was just there, fun club. It's great. I love that fun club.

tiny little room. The guy that runs, it's great. The hotel's right around the corner. What a fun town. I fucking love that club. Comedy Vault and Batavia, which I love to. That club is fucking great. So go to punchup.

Dot Live slash Robert Kelly. My special's up there, live from the Village Underground, and go to YouTube.com slash at Robert Kelly comedy for my other special and all my other comedy stuff. Joe? Dan?

Yo! I'm coming to Vegas. January 15th of the 17th. Wise guys. First time ever doing a full headlining weekend in Vegas. I'm excited about it. I'm staying in an airport hotel. I don't know what that means.

But the airport's close. Anyways, Asheville, Orange Peel, Theater, One Night Only, OTO, OTO. Charlotte, North Carolina, January 23rd, 24th. Atlantic City, that's fun. January 31st. Vancouver, one night only. February 12th. And then, of course, Cobbs.

February 13th to the 15th. One of my favorite cities. San Francisco? Yeah. Oh, I love that town. It's a great, great town. And then San Antonio. down the road, Virginia Beach,

and buy Tom Dustin, Portrait of a Comedy. People are still buying the movie, and they're very touched, and I appreciate it, so thanks. Go buy it. Six bucks. It's fucking six bucks. Lewis. Come see me live on the road, guys. Next, I'm going to be in Batavia, Illinois, Comedy Vault, January 15th, 16th, and 17th. Really excited

about that. Kansas City, Missouri, no, never, never. Kansas City, Missouri, right after that, January 30th and 31st, with Colum Turrell, which is going to be a blast. EMAS, Pennsylvania, at Pittsburgh, Palm Harbor, Florida. It's coming up. Springfield comedy clubs, coming up, a bunch of stuff. I'm touring all throughout the year.

I'm pulling it back every other weekend. That's what you should do. Every other weekend. I'm just chilling, dude. I don't need to fucking, I'm killing myself. Yeah. I find myself on the road wanting to be home instead of being home and wanting to be on the road.

So you got to be. Every other weekend, if you can do it? Yep. I only work clubs that I like. That's great. I don't work clubs that I don't fucking like. Either way, come check out all the other podcasts that I do. Real-ass podcast return.

turning right here to the Gas Digital Network, Legion of Skanks and Story Wars. And if you love the show, we now premiere on Monday nights on Gas Digital every Wednesday on YouTube and everywhere else. But if you want the uncensored and ad-free version of the show, go to gasdigital.com. You can use the promo code regs, R-A-G-Z. You save a couple bucks a month. It supports the show directly, and you get to watch the uncensored ad-free version with a pre-release and a live chat, a racist live chat, might I add. And check out, get my book, Knives and Spins. Pre-order my book.

It's shipping March 3rd, which is just around the fucking corner. I can't wait to get it. I had a fucking last reading of this. I actually got into, this is weird, the last three months, I got into reading books. It's so fun. I know that sounds gay.

Buddy, I love reading. I don't know what the fuck happened. Doesn't your brain feel better? Buddy, something, it's fucking weird. Are you using actual books or are you doing a tablet? I get the tablet. With the yellow light?

No, the white light. The white light light. The white light light. Yeah. They say the blue light of your screen really fucks your brain up before you go to bed. But if you read, it helps your brain settle. You can wear blue blockers. I only read.

I read now every night. When I go to bed, I just read. How good is your sleep? I wake up in the morning. Dude, I'm dreaming again. Yeah. I tell you what I got, that I'm, I got a white noise machine and I bring it on the road with me. Game changer for hotels.

Just does like a sweet Caroline. And I go, pa, ba, pa. White noise? I loved it. But, dude, you put it on. I put it on for a nap in the hotel. It was unbelievable. I've always slept with a guy of tinitis, so I have to have one.

Oh, really? Yeah, I didn't know that. I have a black noise machine. And it goes like what? Help me, I'm drowned. Help me, I'm drowned. I read Louis' book. Oh, yeah?

Front to cover. Will me Anderson? And that order? In that order? See, K. Front to cover and then put it down? Back. Back to cover.

Front to cover. That's pretty good. Hey, Louis. I like that you dedicated the book. His book. Good job, dude. His book was fucking phenomenal. He's a wonderful writer.

No, it's real. Like, you know when you get somebody's book, you're like, fuck? Yeah. But his book was phenomenal. Isn't it weird when you're giving an actual compliment to someone that wrote a book? And you're like, no, no, no. This isn't one of those fake compliments. Well, I'm not, I've only started reading the last three months.

So I'm like, I was going to take me forever. So you're sounding out the words real slow? He's like, yeah, that sucked. That sucked. That sucked. That sucked. His book was good because it's, It's like a Tarantino movie.

There's like, it's just short stories. Sure. So this kid goes from short story to short story. So you read it and it's this whole thing and this one thing and then you go to the next story. Very easy to read. But it was, I can't believe how fucking good the book was. You got, if you like reading it, you should get it.

It's great. I listen to audio books. I listen to the audio version. I know. I tried doing that, but I always just fucking bail. It was boring. Yeah, I just, I feel like I'm. You read Sam Talents book.

By the way, that's the one you should read next. Sam Talent's book, Running the Light is. fucking phenomenal. This is what I love. People have... You know what I got into and this is weird to say? It's like, you know when you get into music late

and everyone's like, you just got into Zeppelin? And you're like, I don't know, it just wasn't fucking around and I listened to it. I got into Stephen King like two years ago. I got into Stephen King very recently, too. James is way into Stephen King? Salem's Lot? The whole universe.

The Shining. Doggy, you don't realize it's a whole like... I'm telling you which books to read, though. No, I'll listen to audio. Salem's Lot is... I got James Salam's Lot. Gary. And...

Uh, mystery. He's reading misery right now. Misery. I just watched Misery, um, for the first time. I've never watched it, never read it. I'm, I just ordered it on A-Holm. I hear the book is way more.

Did everyone do Coke during the fucking ad break? This is crazy. I love you. We're just taught, we're excited about talking about, I just got a, it's the regs book fair. He told me to read, um, this guy's shit on it. The road.

Oh, yeah. Which is fucking. Kormick McCarmie thing is incredible. Okay. What's Sam Powell's? I, I, uh, running light. It's really good. It's about stand-up.

It's about a old road dog. It takes part of Colorado. Awesome. So, yeah, fucking Life of Chuck was a novella by Stephen King. It's a movie that I keep on bringing up for you to watch. Stephen King writes everything. You go like, oh, this is based on a Stephen King book. I just bought Sam Talent's book.

It's really good. I don't know where it came from, though. I've hated despise reading my life. Because I can't, I have dyslexia and I have ADHD. But it's calming for your brain. It fucking, it did something to my brain. I never have the time to sit there. Yeah, but you think so, but you'll look at your phones so fucking much that if you read, it is a thing where you...

You're probably right. I just, when I consume books, I do it passively while I'm driving or working out. So it's just an easy way to do it. On the flight, I read all the time now. I used to love the subway when I would come all the way in from Queens because I could... Why, he's read. He's fucking murdered. No.

I got to have all my senses on the subway. I don't fuck around. Got rid of that hero. I was like, I need to taste on the subway. I read and listen to audio books. I never stopped reading. Damn. It's probably why I'm not as excited.

This is why when you say you're reading and then there's guys that have been reading forever. These are the people that get you out of it. Well, I was going to recommend a book. What book? I'm reading Ethan Hawke's novel, A Bright Ray of Darkness. Literally the best novel I've ever read. You also said that you like that new fucking Leonardo Carprian movie,

which I haven't watched it. One battle after another? Well, I mean, you're in my authority. He's the only person I've ever heard or met. You're putting it on me like you recommended it. I stopped it halfway through. The lead characters are the worst people on the fucking planet. I hate them.

Ethan Hawford wrote like a 9 million books. It's called The Bright Ray of Darkness. I said the title. It's amazing. It's sexy. We're not saying on the same thing. That's what I was trying to say, you fuckhead. When you do an audio book, though, it's like, you don't retain it.

I don't retain it. I do have to listen to it three or four times. By the way, the topic was books. You made it about movies. Because I was kind of bored with the books. I'm bored with the book, time. I was, too. It was.

You're the fucking Topics'ar. Whatever we use. What did you call him? Topic czar. That's C-Z-A-R. Do you know what that is? And the R is for retard. You know what that is?

What is that, Dan? Well, that's a T-shirt. Well, I think Joe just hit a vein of gold. It's time to put it on a shirt. Sell it. There's gold in the mountains. Where, Joe? there's gold in that shit.

Where are fucking coffee? A guy gives you a little bone. Holy shit. Do that Ethan Hawkbook is fucking great. It's all about sex and Coke and theater and divorce and cheating. It's really fun.

Do you think that Will Arnette movie that they made at the seller is going to be good? It looks great. I mean, people are saying it's great. You can't make a good stand-up movie. Can I tell you why? Why? They're front-loading it about being divorce

and second, like being like, this is a movie about divorce. And he does stand-up. It's like punch. up when they had lockers in the fucking, like we'd come in and take our guy. We do need that. We do need lockers. The one scene that I saw from it, he literally just goes up.

He was like, so I got divorced. And everyone was like, ha-ha. He's like, why, I guess I'm going to stand-up now. And then they cut to the scene at the cellar where I forget who is, which actress goes, you're up there. It's like, you're like, I'm going to throw something at my television. I think it looks fun. You can't.

You would. You're not going to please us. You know what I just saw? Song-sung-sung blue. Fantastic. It's an Asian woman? That sounds made up. Song-sung-sung?

Song-sung-Bu. That was good. Harrow. I loved it. Hugh Jackman and Uh... Oh, about the Neil Diamond impersonator? It's fucking great.

Is there dancing? The daughter of them hates the movie. Well, I like... The real-life daughter. She's like, that's not how it happened. I always love when they make movies about someone and someone in their life comes out and goes,

that's not exactly how it happened. Oh, I thought... Let's go back to misery. I just did the selling of Superman. The guy who had a comic book. His father was a... It was a... documentary about his father who was a maniac

who just collected comic books for years, died, left this guy just a warehouse full of holy shit comic books and he had a Superman number one. Action comics? 7-0. Rated and it was all about

and then he had like 50 of this, 70 of that. He just had the greatest comic book. I thought I was going to collect comic books when I was a kid. I got like six of them. I was like, this is it guys. Keep him in the plastic. If you did. You know what I did that I thought was going to be worth a bunch of money? I used to get Sports Illustrated when I was a kid,

and I would save the important ones in a box. And I was like, one day, I had some fucking bangers. I had Jordan retiring the first time. I had all the OJ shit. So what happened? My mom fucking got rid of him when she moved. She goes, that box of magazines? I threw that out.

That sucks. My mother did that with Star Wars. I had every Star Wars. We had a yard sale. She put them in a trash bag and sold him to Shirley Cooper for like five bucks. Shirley Cooper. Fucking Cooper. What did you mean?

Star Wars, what do you mean? The movies? Toys. Toys. Every action figure. Those are worth money. Yeah, I know. It's worth a lot of money. I love this. This episode's brought to you by Rocket Money. This thing is made for guys like us. People that do well, we may have jobs. We have a little money, but we're idiots. I'm an idiot. I click on everything. I subscribe to everything. I go, I'm down. I want that. And then I got too much crap. I don't know where it is. I don't know where my money is doing. My ADHD kicks in. You know what I used to do? This is crazy. I've done this twice now. Before I had Rocket, I would call the bank.

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Join RocketMoney.com slash regs. That is rocketmoney.com slash regs. And yeah, help your... Help yourself. All right. Where were we? I had a lot of pogs. Pogs, dude.

I love Pogs. Talk about, go up quick. Come down quick. Pogs is literally just a retardant kids toy. It's gambling for children. And now you have a podcast. I'm keeping this. I'm keeping this.

And that's the dance center approval. One bomb a show. I'm keeping the band. Episode title, Pogast. Fogcast. Yeah, no, I used to collect Pogs. And I was way into Pogs.

It was like, it's like a little... Bobby, you were already in your 30s when this came out. Yeah, you were sober for 20 years at this point. I only don't know a stretch off. I also don't know what a pog is. You don't know what a pog is? You remember this in school. They were a little...

They give those to me an AA. Yeah, they're... I got one a year. No, they're little cardboard, like, circles that what you do is you put them on their face down, and then you have a slammer, which is the metal piece, and you slam it down on them, and the ones that flip, you get to keep.

So people would bring their best pogs, and you'd be like, all right, I'm going to try. How fuck did I miss this? Oh, it was massive in fifth, sixth, and seventh grade. I was massive. I was so into it, and I had a lot of really cool slammer. Did you have an illegal slamer?

I had the O.J. Simpson slammer. Sick. O.J. Simpson slammer, and it said, let loose the juice. It was a gold slamer that had, like, spikes, like a saw blade. It was round. And it said, let loose juice. And my mom was like, you need to keep that. That's going to be worth money one day.

I looked it up recently. It's like $8. Yeah, but you still have it? No, no. Oh, good paperweight. I would love it. I bought a 49ers one that was like this big and like this thing. And they're like, no, dude, you can't do that.

Oh, they're the torpedo one? Yeah. Drop them and just, if you flip the pogs when you're playing people, you get to keep the pogs. So you put yours in and then you try to slam. Yeah, like I say, here's ten of my pox, here's ten of your poggs. Mix them up, turn them over, and you flip them. You get to keep the ones that flip.

Here's another example of me. I was doing cocaine when you guys are doing that. I was actually cool. Was I sober at that time? These guys act like they were cool. I never said it was cool. Let me see. I'll say which one I had right there, the one with the spikes, like the song.

Oh, oh, dude. Whoa, wait, wait, wait, click on it, click on it. $45. Whoa, dude, that's fucking so interesting. I'm glad we changed topics to this. Remember when he said he was cool when he was a good? Remember we're just listing books that we've read? Do you remember when he said a bunch of fat fucking women?

I never did that. You did that. We got fucking books that we read, you fucking suck and fuck. You told me to get a book, you fucking asshole. Reading is the gateway to the imagination. I will never regret talking about reading. Number two. We spent eight minutes naming books that we've read.

You're about to sell a book. You're just going to. Let him say he was... It's about your fucking book, dumb, dumb, there's nothing to do with my book. You're gonna say he was... What are what you do when your book comes out?

Talk about your book. No. We're not gonna talk about your book? Nope. Are we gonna promote it every week? Like your coffee? We've been promoting it every week for months. You're gonna let him just say he was cool his whole life?

Well, I wasn't playing pog. Yeah, pog's gay. I never heard of this poor shit. Pogline. You know what? Pogline right here. Pogline. Also,

buy some reds Pog. Get your fucking hand off the pogged out of here, dude. What are out of here, dude? I'll pog your Zinn right now. How you want to get the fucking Zimber. I'll leave the Pog life. I'll fucking. I do like Pogs, fat-ass white girls?

A fog. P-A-W-G. That's what a P-A-W-G. Oh, I'm not good at acronyms. Wait, P-A-W-G. Thanks. Pat-ass? Can we talk about something that happened in the group chat that really made me laugh?

What? It was when you tried to call me out for not having the producers' numbers. Where's my coffee? Lewis gave a pitch for Joe and Danny to work at Gas Digital. Oh, yeah. And then Danny went, no, I'm good. Hold on. Let me know.

Let me make this clear. Joe, I didn't give a fucking pitch for anything. I didn't see any of this. So no, here's what happened. On the show, we were talking about the gas digital trip. We're going to Cabo. Yeah. So then you guys were like, oh, well, Danny and Joe work for Gas Digital.

Why aren't they going? And then I was like, wait, do they? And then they were like, yes. And then I looked into it. And I was like, wait a minute. They don't. And what I found out was the show, we make a certain amount of money every month.

We pay Danny and Joe. They're not employees for gas or they don't work on any other gases or a product except for this. The show pays them. Gas digital distributes the pay because the show pays us. They're not gassers or employees at all. Does the check say gas digital? No, it comes from

Lewis's Slush Fund. No, it literally is just transferred from a bank account and it comes out of our money. But what do you argue? I'm asking. Because I fucking want to argue. That's why. Fuck it, idiot.

He saved to life. You think I'm going to play? The money comes from gas. The money goes... No, money comes from us. Hang on. The money goes to gas digital. No, the money comes to us.

But what account? The account is gas digital. When we get the deposit, it does say gas digital. You're not paid from gas digital. It's just the distribution of funds. But the money goes... All our money goes to gas digital, gas digital distributes the money that we owe.

So that's technically gas digital. It's not technically. The three of us are employed by gas. Well, here's the way... We're all employed by gas digital. Business works. We should be invited. We don't work for you guys digital.

We should be going to pop off. I like watching you get bogged down. We should be bog down. We were there. We were there. Why are we not going? Guys in a world of pogs were turning Lewis into a slamer. You know what I saw in Costa Rica?

I'm fucking hang. All of a sudden I see these two hot. Oh, Ralph. Too hot? Really, wait a bury the fucking league. To be fair, you did say, do you know? Do you know what I saw? It was a retort.

It's so funny when someone ruined something like that. I love a, I love a conversation interception. We're just fucking gone. You threw that up. Too hot European youths. You're like, who's trafficking them? Who's that giant Frankenstein looking bozzer with these youths?

Who's got them on dog collars? I just videotaped him. He walked right by me with these two chicks, and he had these pants that didn't go all the way down to his ankle. And I videotaped it. I just said it to him. I don't know. That's great. No, no, it's the way.

They're not employed by Gas Digital. It says gas digital. It doesn't matter. I mean, if I got a check from a company that said, I work for that company. No, you don't. You get a check from Sound Exchange every month. You don't work for Sound Exchange. I do.

No, you don't. You're not an employee of Sound Exchange. They work for you. So, Dan, you work for Danny and Joe. Anyways. Why you just invite him? Well, he did. So he offered him an audition to try out.

I said, I was like, if you guys want to actually get a fuck, we need a new producer. So I was like, if you actually want to be producers on other shows, come in and talk about it. And they both said no. Well, Danny went, I'm good. And then so I saw that and went, damn, Danny just told you to take that job and shove it up your ass. And then Lewis came back and went, it was the confidence that he sent this text that had, it made my day. It made my day. Lewis texts back and he goes, Soder doesn't have the producers saved in his phone.

And I wrote, Lewis, I think you don't have the producers saved in your phone. And then it turns out that I had Danny's number saved his Joe. number and Joe's number saved as Danny's number for two years. But he tried dunking on me and I was like, I absolutely have their name saved in my phone. I don't think you know what you're talking about. And immediately, that's the great thing about Lewis. He'll immediately go, yeah, I was wrong on that one. Oh, yeah.

That was me big time. Oh, yeah. And Danny brought up a good point. He really missed out on sabotaging Joe's image with Lewis for fucking two years. Oh, yeah. I mean, the ideas that was coming, I thought it was all Joe's ideas. I was like, this guy stinks. Holy shit, this guy's got terrible idea.

Is that why Danny got invited to Skank Fest, and I didn't? Joe, are you a comic? Yeah, he's... Joe's hilarious. I've opened for you at Uncle Vinnie's. Damn. You headline Uncle Vinnie's? I've never gotten booked there in my life.

You don't want to. I love Uncle Vinnie's the best. It's a great, great club. Uncle Vinny happened. It's right down the street. Good flip-flop. No, dude, you don't want to step foot in that place. It's the best.

You should be right there. It's so great. It's so good. I'll never go again. So good, I don't deserve it. So, yeah, Joe didn't get invited to Skank Fest this year. Bobby, can I just say, you want to pull the curtain aside? Yeah.

The only reason Danny's invited every year is because Bobby make sure that Danny's invited every single year. Bobby's never said a word about Joe Russell. Bobby's Skankfest royalty, literally Skank Fest royalty. If Bobby said Joe should be at Skank Fest, Joe would be at Skank Fest. And I'm going to tell you. I have to sit next to it. He pokes me. I have bruises on my fucking arm at the end of the show every week.

Because when he talks, he does this and doesn't know as guerrilla strength. Let's have Joe do a five-minute set. Let's go. Let's audition. Last time we did this with the producer, she moved halfway across the country. Let's do it. She moved halfway across the country. I'm going to tell you right now, the reveal of bringing her back if and when it happened.

Oh, dude, if any of you were funny, Dan, you're the rich one here. You too. You're coming up close. You're the rich one here. You should just fire in to be funny one day. I will. Just do it, dude. But it'd have to be a live show.

It'd have to be really worth it. Skankfest. Skankfest X. What Skankfest X? Listen. All I know is, I've got a lot of Delta Miles. Kelly, get on a fucking plane.

How many Delta Miles? You got, Doggy? Over a million. Miles? Yeah. Saved up? Yeah. You never cash him in?

I just spent... Is there any... Let me ask you. I just spent a bunch. I spent $100,000 on plane rides in December. Don just used all my Delta Miles to go to Costa Rica. Is there a reason? To save them up or like,

Yeah. Here's one I'm asking. They go away. No, no, they don't go away. But listen. But listen, what I'm asking you, do I, do they like compound or something? Like, if I hold on them and don't use them, is it beneficial for me to use them in a year? So I use them all the time.

So you should use them. I just use them. I was saving up for a trip. And then we were both, Katie and I were working. So I was like, fuck it. I'm just going to make some of these flights first class. And I just used them on that. But the reason I don't spend them is because you don't, they don't count towards your.

status. Yeah, I know. Well, what do you mean? When you use them on a flight. Are you diamond? Yeah. So once I get to diamond, then I fucking, then I... I'm United. I don't know what... I'm Premier 1st. It's a bus line. United's a bus line. Oh, my God. It's the

worst. I saw your video. Is it the worst? What happened? Oh, yeah, it was crazy. Did you see his video? Oh, yeah, this was nuts. I really stayed off. I really did a good job of the last three weeks. I saw his video when I was flying. When I was, I saw your video. I look at my phone a lot when I'm fine. There was a black chick.

It was my flight attendant. And she was... Drowning and you say... Down the aisle. We've heard this before. You know, like the snacks where they come and pass them out? Sure. She had it on her head like an African.

Walking down the aisle, giving out snacks. I love it. I love it. I don't know how I felt about it. I was like racist and mad. The honesty. It was like it was kind of fun, but I was like... I don't know.

I was like, I was kind of like, no. You need to hold it. Why aren't you holding it? Your head's not. hands? You don't have a hand hand? What are you doing? You don't have handheads? Ah, ah, which is, for some reason, it bugged me. And then she started getting on the, uh, the speaker, talking about, like, the, the, uh, talking about the, uh, like, applying for a card. And she's like,

so, how's everybody doing today? Like that. And I was like, I was like, is that nobody's going to complain? What are we doing here? What are you complaining about the, the way she talks? It was It was crazy. No, it was purpose. She was doing a thing. She was doing a bit. Listen, flight attendant's doing bits. One of my biggest pet peeves. I don't, like, I just don't want a bit. I didn't sign up for your bit, lady. If you're naturally funny, be naturally funny. I don't want, I don't want re-regurgitated bits. I like it. You like it? I like a funny flat attendant, a little cookie. I'm a fan. Yeah?

Yeah, because they're all miserable. Yeah. They're all miserable. Sure. And they, they size you up and they treat you. I want them to be hot and white and fucking polite. Do you want a time machine? Louis wants the flying in the 60s. That's what I want to say. I want them to offer me cigarettes. Coffee tea or me. Yeah.

It's crazy. Once in a while you'll see a hot flight attendant and you're like, this is the way it's supposed to be. You go, get out of here. What are you doing? Get the fucking out of here. Excuse me? I don't, I like a fucking silly, they get on the PA and crack some jokes.

I don't like when I can tell it's rehearsed. I like if they're funny naturally. I go, that's a funny, that's a naturally funny person. You know like bits? I hate bits. You don't like a bit? I'm doing it. all weekend.

I don't need to hear him on the phone. You like crowdwork? This guy knows what I'm talking about. I go, don't. He's asleep. He's, I, no, don't do that. Guys, we just blew past my segment

where we're going to have Joe auditioned for Skagfest. It was going to be gold. Joe's not going to do it. Joe, Joe, come on. Joe, will you do it? Smart. Sure. Yeah!

Come on, Lewis. This is a good podcast. You know, remember the topics are? Let me think. Topics are, dude. That's a dangerous title to give you. You don't know his material. We'll give him a minute and we'll see how it goes from there.

He's had 20 minutes to think about it. You think he's not shitting his pants over there? Joe, you get one minute when you hear the sound of a kitten. I don't know if it's the time to wrap up. I don't know if I should save this person right now. Now, Joe, remember, I recommended you so my thing is on the line here. You're right. By the way, Joe cannot, if you don't do well, Joe can't recommend anything for six months until June of 2026.

To Skankfest or to the podcast? Your audition for a La Mare's spot at Skank Fag. Damn, I like this. I like this. This is why you're the topics are. Yes. C-Z-A-R. Gotta be bad.

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Let's get back to it. Ladies gentlemen, I'll do a little intro. Ladies and gentlemen, wow, small crowd, but we're going to do the show anyways. We've got three people in the crowd. We can have done this in my living room. Thanks for coming out. Sir, where you're from?

Boston originally, Westchester now. Oh, hey, whoa. Hey, where are you from, sir? Boo, next. All right, you said next. Next comic coming right up, sir, where are you from? Don't talk to me. All right, whoa.

Joe's doing a new character, new comic nervous to be on stage. Hey, did you see the Elway, Doc? Yeah, I watched a little bit of it. It's fucking awesome. So no. I watched the first 45 minutes of it, so no. I didn't watch the full thing. It's great.

Anyways, all right, next committee, coming to the stage. This guy is... This guy tries to make conversation and then he shits on you. Now you watch the whole thing. There's only one person that does this on that podcast. What am I an asshole? I go, did you watch it?

He goes, yes. I watched two minutes of it. He said 45. Yeah, you didn't say 45. You said a little bit. I said 45. I watched the opening 45 of it. All right.

You watched it. Half of it. All right, folks, the next comedian. I did watch half of it. It's true. Next comedian. I thought it was great. Next comedian, coming to the stage.

This guy... I watch it. Here's my opinion. I watch movies. I go on the movie. Boats where they show movies. I saw Sarah and the Sissy Sits. What are fucking dumb movies?

That's actually a good one. All I asked was, did you say, I'm busting his balls for saying he's not, but he didn't watch the whole thing. That's not crazy. I didn't say all that. It should go like this. This is the longest, worst intro I've ever seen. Did you watch a documentary?

Not all of it. Oh, well, you got it. It's really good. Okay. That's what you should have said. Next up. Check, please. Yeah.

I'm out of this club. This club stinks. I didn't even get my wings. Are we in Austin? Hold, I'll do a bit. I'll do a quick. joke. That comes a quick joke, ready? This guy, he goes to the doctor,

he says, hey, doc, I want a, I want to get a, oh, fuck, I want to be castrated. And the doctor says, what are you nuts? I'm not going to castrate you, you're fucking lunatic. And he goes, nah, that's what I want, I want to be castrated. The doctor says, well, you're out of your mind, I'm not going to do that. Tell you what, take a month,

think about it. You're going to like this. Think about it. If you come back and you still want to be castrated, I'll do the surgery. I need the money. The guy goes, okay, he leaves. A month later, he comes back. I'm ready. I want to be castrated. He goes, well, I think you're out of your mind, but if that's what you want, that's what I'll do.

He puts the guy under the guy, wakes up, he's all groggy, you know, he's got bandages all over his groin, up and down his thighs. He's out of it. He looks next to him. There's a guy with the same bandages. He goes, hey, you get castrated too? The guy goes, no, I got a vasectomy. He goes, oh, that's the word.

That's really good. All right, now you guys are warmed up. Your next comedian coming to stage. It forms clubs and college. is all over. He's a producer right here at the regs. Ladies gentlemen, Joe Russell. Oh, thanks, guys. Thank you so much.

I just flew in from San Francisco, and boy, are my arms gay. Hey, you guys seen these house prices? It was so bad this Christmas, I couldn't even afford a gingerbread house. I'd take my little gingerbread. I'd have to move him into a gingerbread trailer park like a bunch of fucking breadnecks. That's good.

Honestly, the end got me with breadnecks. Are you improvving these jokes right now? Are these really just full? This is the act. This is the act, baby. Lock and loaded. Let me say this. This would work, not you're setting him up for failing. This is hilarious. I'm not allowed. Both jokes, two for two.

Go ahead, Joe. Dan, if you're laughing at this, you might be a breadneck. If you think a sourdough is just a female deer with a bad attitude, You might be a breadneck. Book them. Book them.

If you think two pumper nickels add up to one pumper dime, you might be your breadneck. Book them. If you think the president of Russia's name is Vladimir Cluton, you might be your breadneck. If you think tortillas are taking all the jobs, you might be a breadneck. if your mom is also your cousin, you might be an in-bredneck. Okay. In-breadneck.

Do the Chinese joke. Oh, my friend, he only dates Chinese girls. And I was like, hey, man, what's with all the Chinese girls? I'll never forget what he said. He said, I'm Chinese. It's very funny. It's very funny. Holy shit.

He just had the Bernie Mac set of producers on the rights. Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe he just came out with his face on his jeans Joe is I mean so much funnier than Danny why do you Of course why do you vouch for Danny here because Danny has the physical strength to kill and the editing abilities I did vouch for Joe but there wasn't there wasn't a they were like look we will try but we don't know if we can because we have a lot of people coming to Skaggfest so it was they tried and they didn't Joe phenomenal set thank you so much guys Great set. All right, your next committee. Rebecca, did Bobby try to get Joe Russell a spot on Skank Fest last year? Please check any email correspondence and let me know.

You're a f***. Yeah, you're a... Lewis, that was a real f***ing mood. That was queer, dude. What? You just like a coming little detective, like a little rat, like a little FBI. I'm trying to see if my friend Bobby's a liar. Real ass detective.

Or if Bobby's honestly looking up with Joe Russell. I did. I looked off at Joe Russell. I looked off at Danny and Joe, but they were, you know, They were like, look, there are a lot of people coming. I don't know. We'll try. They said they'll try and they...

I guess, no, no, no, I'm holding it for a friend. I don't know. That's always excuses. All right, your headliner, folks. He's a little new to headlining. Here he comes to the stage. Danny Brath. Whoa.

I'm not doing it. Do a Mary Lee's favorite comics. You're not doing my son. I can't. We can't do it. This is the biggest crowd you've ever had. 150,000 people here. Bring up the next guy.

Don't make me too. Paco do it. Paco. Paco jump in right now. Who's Paco? Paco will fight a Gator. The main producer from, he actually gets to go to the fucking

Jamaica with, and the festival. Well, it's Cabo this year. Ooh. His name's Cabo? I'm so sorry. I've been talking about you, Paco for a year. Holy shit, I feel racist.

Cabo is his name? That's so funny. Hello? Hello? Hello? Is my, yeah, you're fine. It's on. Something happened to my headphones.

Oh, no. It's Danny. Shut your headphones off. Damn, Danny hates you. He's going to terrorize you, you know. Danny. Yeah. Come up and do a joke.

What are you doing? I'm not going to do a joke in this. Get those pants off. Why won't you do a joke? You open up in front of the regs and YKWD. And they saw me on that. Taco, I've never seen you do comedy. Well, I guess there's an open spot for Joe.

Yeah, probably. Are you waiting for... Is Paco not here? Paco's here. He just doesn't talk. Paco. Hey, Paco. Tell us a joke.

Your best joke. I'm not going to do my... best, but why wouldn't you do your best? Why would you do your best? I don't know. Trust me on this one. Do your best. No, no, you guys need mid-grade. Do the one. Don't know. He's trying to bring our expectations now. No, he's going to do the best one, but to pretend it's not his best one. I don't know. I just wrote this on the train here. It goes, uh, anyways. He's like, there's black people. There's a war going on. Go ahead, Joe, introduce him. His name's Paco. Oh, me.

All right. I thought it was past the mic. No, give it up for Joe. You guys are doing shotgun. Oh, they do that in Austin, too. Pass the mic bugs me. Get an N.C. Get a fucking host. Have them warm up.

Be friends with the audience. It's not a fucking... You got to remember the next guy's name? That's Creve. That's Creve. That's Creve. That's a L.A. That's L.A. Yeah. Good.

Next comedian coming to the stage. This guy performs... Performs. What? Performs! Damn. Clubs and colleges all over the eastern hemisphere. Paco! The same last name?

Paco da da da da da da da dunta No his last name is Paco actually Paco Paco, Paco. Oh, William Paco. No, it's Paco Paco, Paco. Paco, Filipino. Hello? Paco Bill.

I got a friend who's like a little bit slow like he drinks fluoride. Hey. Hey, I told you not tell anybody about that. My bad. But he said he doesn't like the fact that we change the term to neurodivergent.

He doesn't like that. We have to call him that now because it feels like we're calling him retarded for longer. That's not bad. That's good. I like that.

That's funny. Retarded for longer is funny. It's not as funny as Lewis is part of your joke. Oh, boy. My bad got me. My bad. My bad.

Sorry, Lewis. We have to call him Retarded for longer. That should be the name of your special. Resarted for longer. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

So Paco's in. Look at that. Danny's out. Joe Russell, Joe Russell making a skank fan. Joe Russell blew him out of the water. Joe Russell, he showed up and goes,

fuck you for having my name saved wrong. And he literally does his set in water. He wears a fish tank on his head. That's Danny. That's what I'm saying. That's who got blown out of the water. So yeah, who's going to be on your roast next year? Well, I don't know.

Dan doesn't want to do it. Wait, whoa, whoa, I said before the last episode I'd do it. Oh, Dan has to do it. Bob? Ronon. No, Ronon's writing for me. He can't be on. You got some poo in you,

lip. Other lip. Yeah. What is that? Chocolate? I don't know. You just rubbed it. No, he kissed the father of that girl.

What do you got on your face? Thanks, Danny. That saved you. Did hair? I was going for the big. Maybe it's hair. Dark hair. Really?

I don't know. Louis, someone like this. Yeah, what is that? You got shit in your mouth. What up? Shit mouth. What's up shit face? What are you to save that girl's shit mouth?

I don't think it's hair. It looks really dark. Yeah, it looks like you're eating butt. Oh, maybe it is there. Oh, it's hair. It's just hair. Well, it's just the way the light is the shadow. Yeah.

I love your gray beard. I like the beard. I like you with facial hair or not instead of not. You like me? You love it? You fucking need it. How great to be you? Make out queer.

You guys would have gross sex. I beat his house all the time. You guys would have gross, gross sex. I'm going to Lewis's house to smoke a cigar. Just get there to be in a robe. Oh, my God. You guys. Fucking untie his robe.

I haven't showered in two days. Open his present under the tree. Because my water's all. cold. Why? I don't know what happens, but I have a water heater. A hot water heater. I know. I turn the hot water heater. This has happened twice now. This is the problem, the owning a house. You're right. Another

story. I already know where it's going. Twice now. It's gone out and I put it on and it keeps on going out. So now I have a plumber coming tomorrow. You get it fixed once. The people that probably own the house had a little issue with it and didn't tell you. Somebody please. I got a brand new thing

when I moved in. Put together compilation of these two assholes. I love my house. Just talking about... I come home. I'm home. Stuck in traffic. I'm looking. Fucking air-condition breaks. Bathroom breaks. The generator breaks. Love it. I'm looking.

Coming home... The second the housing market takes any sort of rebound. I'm up in that bitch. It's coming. I love it. Owning a house is the best being in an apartment with something on the left and the right of you and above you sucks. What do you mean the rebound? I thought it was... You wanted to go down or up?

The housing market is a shit right now. Once it gets better for like, I think lenders are killing it right now. It's gonna get better. But yeah, get it, get a fucking, you going up with me? Yeah. Dobs Ferry? Yeah. Whoa.

Been looking there. Dobs Ferry. We've been looking there. It's fucking. 25 minutes out of the city. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, it's great. Hogsbury.

Guys. Yeah, you gotta get a house. You gotta get your kid out of the city. Why, he loves it. It's, he doesn't know anything. It's a baby. It's a baby. He doesn't love it.

Yeah. See that pit ball that was eating the baby last week? What? Did they put that video up online and I was like, Yo, what the fuck? What? This is the city that you live in. It's like your baby might get eaten by a pit bull.

Well, there's pit bulls other places. Not running around the streets with hundreds of people around. Not going to get swept away. All right. Apparently, you've never been to Los Angeles. I got a puppy. Oh. You got it?

Yeah, we got it. You got a puppy? Apple. Hey. Little apple. Little apple. What kind of dog? She's a Cocker Spaniel.

She's named a Lisa. You know why she's named Apple? Yeah, because it's Steve Jobs. That's right. Apple. Apple McKinsey. The most fucking underwhelming reveal

of all time. And Joe just goes, that's correct. It's not his favorite food. We didn't have him pizza. She's going to be a menace. Oh, she's so cute, dude. Do you have her house trained at all? Look at her.

Is it a daught? She have one eye? No, it's a dog. That's funny. Is it, is it? No, she, I paid $4,000. She has a blue belt? $4,000 for her.

Jesus Christ. $4,000? $4,000. Holy shit. Dog. Little monkeys. She had one silver ear, one black ear. She says, I cannot wait till it's like, dude, I can't record the dog.

I got to drop the dog. We got to do Thursday at 10 p.m. because the dog is sick. Do you not know what a dog is? I've had a dog this entire time. Do you think a dog is cancer? I've got a dog for 20 years. We've never re-recorded because Mertl's done anything.

Joe doesn't know what dogs are. He goes, yeah, next thing you know your dog's going to nursing school and you've got to bail her out. Next thing you know your dog's getting a black guy. My dog's in a kennel right now. Because I'm out of the house for two hours. I think the dog is car trouble. Okay, well, I stand corrected.

No, she's really sweet, but she runs across the pool cover, and now I'm like envisioning her. But they're designed, their safety covers. They're designed to have the weight of a kid on her. We got a fucking Airbnb. We always get an Airbnb in Boston for Thanksgiving, so me and Katie and I can stay with her brother and sister-in-law and the niece with the dog. We had a pool in the backyard, but it was covered. But it was covered in a green cover. Oh, the shitty covers?

Yeah. It just looked green, and the first time we're, like, looking through the Airbnb, and we're like, oh, that's great. We're, like, moving our stuff in, and we go backyard, and they're like, and it's fenced, and they open the door, and Myrtle just runs out onto the cupboard pool. We're like, oh, yeah! We're like, you can't go fuck off! And our dog's, like, just standing there.

She slid a little bit, and then it was like, what's up? What are you guys mad about? We're like, come back here, and she's like, what? I don't have this little puppy fell in this whole one. Dude, Katie and I talked about it. Bobby would save it. Yep, Bobby would save it. Call Bobby.

any water troubles call Bobby Bobby so is dying at a beach I'm dead dead Better call Bob It's a puppy's a lot Yeah it's a lot Once you get him house train though

I know I know but it's fucking When you go away for a while You gotta find that person We found the person We found my left her with my sister I came back The bottom of my tree is completely torn down None of the lights work on it

That's not the person No my sister's not the person My sister commands no respect from animals Jesus It's crazy If someone said that about me I'd want to fight. My sister,

no, she literally, she's not the pack leader, it's a puppy. Be the pack leader, you fucking idiot. Puck leader. You gotta find this, you're gonna find the person.

No, Sarah Fina, one of our interns, she's gonna start dog sitting. Did they stand at your house? Yeah. Yeah. Get your hot intern over the house.

What? That'll be good. Your bodacious intern. Oh, we got a smoking hot young intern. She's got to come over the house. Three, four thousand a week. She's got to be there.

The dog doesn't respond to anyone else. She's certainly not my stupid fucking sister. Anyways. She's got to dress like a French maid because the dog feels more comfortable going in the bathroom as a French maid. Poor dog's going to have a new fucking leader

every six months. Hey, this is your new name. She loves girls this fucking puppy. I bet she does. Me too, bro. Like that she. Now do you walk the dog?

I let her in the backyard right now. We're not on the leash yet. We're going to be on a leash. You have the puppy shots? Not yet. She's not ready for them yet. She's only three months old. Yeah, it's a lot of another month.

When we got her... Oh, great. Your dogs didn't have autism. Yeah, I can't give you the Tylenol. We couldn't get the shots for the dog. It was like during the pandemic. So she couldn't go on like the rocks behind our apartment. She said to shit in the fucking parking lot.

It sucked. Yeah. Because they can't or they'll get that, uh, whatever that fucking diseases that puppies get. Anyways, let's end the podcast. AIDS. Good job, guys. Happy 2026. Hey man, good to see you guys.

Good job saving a life forever. We love you, Bob. I love you guys. Even if you didn't, I'd love you. Yeah, I loved you the same. I was very proud of you and then very excited for your post to come on this podcast and talk about it. So I want to thank you for making me feel two things. Pride and anticipation.

Yeah, well, I appreciate you guys. And I knew you're going to take a smashing well. I knew I was going to take a smashing as soon as I hit Send on that post. And I'm not done. I still have to do the bonfire. Brother, you got a couple more to go. Oh, wow. This is our conversation about Joe Russell.

What I say? Oh, boy. Bobby writes. What a way to end the podcast? Don't make this weird. Is it going to get weird? Is it going to get weird? Maybe it's a cliffhanger.

Let's see. All right. Oh, boy. You tell her we're on the pause. This is our conversation about Joe Russell. If I remember correctly, he asked for either Danny or Joe, and we picked to Danny. No, I asked, I said, I said, I said, I asked if Danny could. I call.

called personally and said it wasn't a text man. I said I'd love to get both them because they're both the regs and they both do good on my YKWD. I'd like to be both. Here's what I'm telling you guys. It's Skankfest 10th year anniversary. You're both coming to Skank Fest next. There we go. All expense paid.

$5,000 a day. But I say from now on they go to Skankfest. Calm down. Bob. Not everyone's going to Stankfest every year. Annual? Yeah. I'm going to 10. I'm missing 11, 12. They're the producers of the regs.

Yeah, cool. So let him come. Nobody's producers come to the festival. And they love Skate Fest. They're not producing the podcast at the festival. No, they don't. They get, they get, Danny got a bunch of stuff. Danny, what did you do for the podcast during the festival?

I got the sheet that you never used, but you asked me to use it. I get it. He got a sheet. Oh, we ditch the Klan thing. Last second. Sorry, Danny, we ain't doing that. He cut the holes in everything. YKWD, I got the footage afterwards.

Yeah. Is the live up coming out, by the way? It was already out, Joe. Oh, alright. All right. Well, you guys, come see us live. Oh, no, I meant the other one. Story Wars. Does that come out at some point? Yeah. Did you do Story Wars?

I did Story Wars. And everyone got fucking mad at me, because then I went straight over to your podcast, and I was like, oh, I just came from Story Wars. And I'm like, you fucking cunt, piece of shit. And I'm like, well, I didn't know what order the things were coming out? No, you're a piece of shit. shit for that. You should know that it's a game show. Gotta protect them. Well, they should put it out right away. They have a catalog.

We were always like three weeks behind. God bless you. Happy New Year. Two thousand and six. We'll see you guys. Let's go some resolutions. No. Real quick. What are we going to fucking end it on then? Well, resolution isn't the fucking the word.

New Year, new me. What's the big goal for the year? Big goal. I want to get back in shape. I fell really out of shape and I started exercising again. Come over the snake pit. I will. I don't call it that, but I will definitely. I just spend thousands of dollars finishing my gym. And after that, come over to the barbershop. I'll come on.

I think this year I want to start doing jiu-jitsu. All right. So maybe I'll come over. At 55? And you can, yeah, that's what they say? This is the year you stop. Can I be honest? Don't do you.

Just a box. You're too old. Yeah, you're going to hurt throw your back. You're not pliable. You can't get into it at 55. You can. Every person I know. Ingers themselves doing jujitsu starting at this time.

Hang on. Let's do it over. I think I'm going to step boxers. Yeah. I'm going to start karate, but you can see your box. Hello. I stop because of my knees. What are you doing, Joe?

I don't know, really. Good. Lewis? I have a certain amount of money that I want to make this year. Whoa. Get it, girl. And I want to hit a certain number. And fucking girl.

Sky's your one. It's all money. It's all money. Girlfriend. All right. I've never cheated before. This is the year. We should all cheat.

Let's do it. Let's cheat with one girl. Love it. The same night at SkangFest. With Danny and Joe. Yes. That's the only way I can get hard. The girl that's with Danny.

Hello. All right. We'll see you guys next time on the regs.