Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - POST SHOW: Chicken Finger Fingers

Episode Date: September 22, 2016

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Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Teres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las leajores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the Night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the post show. I am Deepo.

This is, I'll be already new that. What's going on, everybody? This is the, the second time we're doing the post show. I am Deepo. This is, be all already new that. This is the, the second time we were doing the post show. This is, this is Bobby's gift to us for making us put on face paint at Sirius XM Studios. Yeah. Yeah. I did do a full face. Okay. The whole fucking thing. Scopo and I really took a bullet for Bobby that day. We went to Sirius Studios and he brought this face painter in who he's trying to like fall in love with or whatever. And Scopo, I get my face painted first and I get like this

really intricate cow fucking design, right? I'm hating it but I'm like playing along like, yeah, this is great, you know, Indie guy and a cow fucking face, whatever. I'm gonna get the picture out. Yeah, Scopo gets a full tiger, full face. Of course, it's complete. Yeah, and then you know,

I ran out of paint from the shine head. Exactly. Ran orange is gonna know big old face. They just start opposite tiger. No, just roast crisp. And then, oh, see, yeah, those are the faces. What's that in the middle? Oh, oh, and Tim, I was wondering what that was.

Yeah, Tim took a bullet to. Tim looks good. Tim looks like that with that's like his hobby Yeah, and I said give me half face or not are you dying? Yeah Lauren got Lauren. Okay, so Lauren put up a fight Lauren put up a fight we were originally gonna like make her get an equally intricate fucking face design Right and she was gonna have to fucking suffer like me and scope of the But then why what was the problem? Because she doesn't want a full fucking face design. I should do.

I got it. You just got to paint it in the half face and you took off for the face. I got Bobby's face on the side of my face and that's not. That's a pretty good one. It's like I've had two. Yeah. It's a good one. I just look at each other like, wait a second for the team.

Wait a second. So we take a hit for the team We had a great episode today Christy Micron Micros on it Tom was on how'd you guys feel about it? You guys you guys make who me for the first time how big a deal? Oh my god, that was very cool. I grew up listening to Oh and I and it was like sure. Yeah, it was I felt like I kept it together pretty well He was just hanging every time you like laughed at one of your My brain was catching on fire Shut your fucking mouth and jump in there jump in there when you know it's gonna be a good one No, this bullshit cuz I'm the king of

Just like throwing the dumbest shit out there just to see what happens and it's like I bomb constantly when I'm just doing podcasts or whatever. I was like no you sit on them. He came in and they said it's a bit gold. He came in and such a funny part to where it had like right when politics started. I didn't know how I want it. I didn't know how far I wanted to go with it. I didn't really go too far. I didn't but that was interesting. I thought we were all a little bit. Yeah a little but not too much. I also appreciate being on the post show because You texted me or you Facebook message me. I said yes. I'm in then scope oh called me and I was like yeah I'll do it and then Lauren texted me just like hey, do you want to do it? And then when they were saying hey

You're doing the post show you're like I think town's gonna do it Well, it makes you really better. They asked me 30 seconds ago There you go. I didn't know what the fuck was going to happen. Because Scopo, OK, so the post show is supposed to just have the guests left whoever wants whoever was both in the show originally. And it doesn't have any shows to do to them.

Right. Whoever I got in those spots, whoever among the guests is willing to admit that they have nothing to do after the show sticks around, which is you three people. So that's the thing. Scopo books it, and he he doesn't have to be here. And now I'm hosting it. And I wish he would just book someone I would talk to on a normal basis.

Hey Tom, how's it going? I see you on the train sometimes. Yeah, I run into you on the train. I see your crew at the stand in the standing room and I get along with everyone in your crew except for Derek Games. That guy hates my guts. Really? Because I try to roll in like I think I don't know

How you guys feel about me, but you know, I just love you baby. I don't we don't talk for more than 10 seconds really. I like you baby See yeah, the plan was oh no one agrees. I'll get fucking Steven here. Yeah, because he was hanging outside just doing nothing just being Mobile city crowd Dude Steve is the hardest working guy. I know he's the he did he like he does he does writing sessions on Facebook lies once a week for two hours twice a week What twice a week? Oh, excuse me. What does that mean writing? So I'll have some chalkboard wallpaper on my wall and I'll take A word and then we'll kind of dissect it and I'll get jokes from that. It's based on this lady Sally Holloway serious guy to joke writing.

So for example, we just did, what was the word we just did? We did something like critic and then we'll, all these things that like a critic could say. So for example, we ended up getting some stuff where it's like a critic went up to me and told me my act was forgettable. I said, oh, who's act? act that was on tonight you know what I mean like we get stuff like that and then sometimes we get some of the black stuff and then I do statistics look what did you write today Kristi okay I eat fucking cheeseburgers on Facebook Facebook I was gonna gel to that cuz you know you kind of knew in town I'm believe and

you know a couple years and those battle are you are you even in know, a couple years. I'm close to battle. No, no, no, no. Are you, are you even in town for a couple of years? Two years, two years, I don't know. How's it really out to you? I feel like you're saying that to like establish like, oh, I've been around a lot of things. No, no, no, no, I wasn't. I can't, because I work a lot out of town and my, I feel it in.

Oh, I feel it in. No, I, yeah, in the first six months I was here, I left like the week I got here. All right. I left for like six months. All right, well, I guess I'm left for city. So I wasn't actually here as much as I could have been, but my impression was, oh, this guy just showed up and now he's doing a food show with Alexis Gross.

I should be doing a food show with Alexis Gross, fucks it. Do you ever chop wood? Right, you know what? A lot of people accuse me of being a hipster, but I've had, I've had some. No, you look more of like mountain man. Like a Lamborghini. I've done, you know, I've done with an attitude.

Do you really like what I know? Do you really like what I know? Only in the winter. Oh, yeah. You can fall's coming. I do. More of like mountain man You know, I've done Only in the winter I got steel toe boots Feel to slowly slow in my voice down We do the post post Much more sexual than We do the post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post legitimate psychopath. She's been divorced seven times. She's like, uh, she literally has family boring as far. Yeah, I know. Um, that is not. Yeah, she's like non-assipite. That makes me want to listen to her. Like, she has no idea what she's doing. Yeah. That makes me want to really get into her. She's like, I use that and she looks crazy. You got to go

to a little picture. I will. I hope I wish. I don't listen to her, but I wish that every time she gives advice she ends with Whatever so Lauren I heard that you're just joined bumble. So yeah I haven't got on a date yet, but I'm like really fucking nervous as soon as you want one por. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com y con un bumble, el suelo...

¡Es un suelo! Es que es una cosa que se hace... El suelo tiene que ver. ¿Qué es su profeta? Es que no se hace... Se hace todo el muro, ¿verdad? ¿Puedes grabar un guay a la noche para que te gojé a la date? Sí, pero es que el suelo tiene que ver el guay.

No, tienes que hacer el suelo. Si tienes que hacer el suelo, tienes que hacer el suelo. Si tienes que hacer el suelo, te pongo el suelo. Yo me he quedado en la casa de donde te lo he estado. Y no tienes que decir mucho. You just have to make the for you have to make the first move you have to make them send the message I just been like hey, what's up? Where you live? Yeah, and you don't have to say much You can just go hey how's your day and you'll get a reply me Said how my day was and then the girl never responded so that meant I work for everyone shocker Bumble bumble's great for six months and then you're gonna get sick of it and then it's over

This is the first time you've been on I Great for six months and then you're gonna get sick of it and then it's over. Yeah, this is the first time you've been on I Dating it. Yeah, that's it. I imagine every time a girl swipes right. It's an automatic last automatic match Have you ever swiped right? It's not a match. I don't know with this that guy have to swipe you Yes, which means I this is how I'll bumble right now. Is there is there a camera? Yeah, yeah, I'm singing single. I just tell you though So I did it I registered who comes up Lewis

Yeah, like a bunch of people I'm like people I'm like Mark left Left Right now So this is how guys this is how every guy I know bumbles right here ready? Oh yeah, I was gonna do that. Yeah, you can hang out Oh, I'm sorry I'm backtrack low battery Oh, so there's a wild ride

Okay, no let's see you don't even look I know now wait, let's try you swiping right and see if you match it first Are you for real? This is how guys mumbles. This is why I don't do it Cuz I actually like look at the photos. I'm like, oh, this could be you're different Right, right you don't do a what? 32 your photographer your piece of shit Swap on right mine has a meme, so everyone here has bumble right? I have Tinder.

I'm in a relationship, but I really enjoy making friends. So you guys. OK, well, it's not fun. It's not fun. It's not fun. It's just, look, mine says it's so easy to swipe right. Me too. Oh, it's a meme.

Of that working out. I've had people be like, I don't think that's you. It's like, why would I post that? out. I'm so excited that I'm doing it. I've had people be like, I don't think that's you. It's like, why would I post that picture? I got the idea. I got the idea. How about we all read our profiles? All right, our description. All stuff.

And then we'll make me one. Now, let's read what you have first. And to do it. I don't have anything. I don't have anything. I don't want to do it. Oh, people are you all on. But she's a bot.

They think she's a bot. Can you take chairs, then? Come on. She's like, we're going to see them eventually. We're going to see them. I can take my radius down to think she's a bot. We're gonna seem eventually We're gonna seem I can take my radius down to like a block and I can find you I'll find you right now. I follow you on Instagram. These are all pictures that I can see I'm going less than a mile guys. We're losing everybody. We're all within our phones. Let's keep it audio friendly too Okay, so I'm gonna read mine first

Sorry, let's keep it audio friendly too. Okay, so I'm gonna read mine first Audio friendly. Yeah Hi, I'm Deepo. We'll fuck literally anything You're not gonna be the one. Deepo looking for D.U. I'm gonna be out of here. Gilman. When a girl sees a name Deepo by the way, like that's an automatic no.

Probably right? You know that? I feel like it's not like, okay everyone's saved themselves. This is my boyfriend D. Bo No, I matched with a guy name, but you want to just point yourself into face after saying that no I can see it Yeah, okay, I'll win okay, okay, here's my here's my profile Info Indian, but just barely I work in live streaming over buddy Yeah, they don't like that My main shows right now are Game of Thrones and last

week tonight with John Oliver. No, Emmy winning. Emmy winning. I've been doing the rock workouts since February 1st. This is an old profile description. I try to listen to the audio version of the economist on my phone. Nort. Fucking nerd. I kind of gives a little bit of everything. I'm a smart guy. I'm not an asshole. Have you found a bumblebee? No, I've never been on a run-through. Alright, here's mine, ready? I make breakfast for breakfast, six feet, five inches in heels. That's my profile. That's all I have.

That's the big thing you gotta put your height. Well, and I also put in heels, which means I'm cute and funny. Yeah. Yeah. No, I've been on bumblebee to Christmas. All say to me, man, you are 65. I was like, how the fuck would lie about that height? A lot happens a lot.

So wait is it awkward for someone? I ought to. Of course. Because you're like going into a sushi restaurant you would never go to. I always hug because you have to because you got to break that awkwardness. Right.

Hugging. You do the half. I normally try to go under because normally I'm nervous and sweaty. So I don't want to be like I don't like put my wet arms on Somebody that's a great way to this a great way to meet somebody's like how you dry this off for me? Can we read yours or I'm a book oh right? Oh, she got a boy I don't have a boyfriend, but I don't do online

Playing at old school huh? Have you ever Christie I've been on I tried one I tried she got tied up in a fucking Dumbbell on the same night I downloaded both and I was not done for maybe like I feel like Tindy's like the dirty you I mean I was on Tinder when Tindy was popping you know Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got there too late for that shit man. I tried to find the one is Tindy not my day I'm out of the game I'm very popular. I think they're all on the downhill right now But let's let's do your Steve. This is tender. I don't have bumble. Okay, and six foot three easy-going guy who can make you laugh

See that's perfect Yeah, you know what ladies it's true He is six foot three He is 6 foot 3. I get to sticky on it because I had some Ida girl say, can you make me laugh with your cock and I said, unfortunately yes. I think it's a profile has to create some sort of reason for a girl to reach out as a guy because like all my messages are, what would you make me for so it's it gives you a reason because if you might see a guy that you think is cute and you're like what do I say but if it's something

silly like that you can be like oh breakfast what do you make me for breakfast you know and then it's gonna be silly and fun and then eventually we don't fuck right that's how it normally goes for me two days and a half. Tom's out Lauren what do you got? I'm not in. Tom give us like the one minute pitch if you were to you know this is like your keep it to five seconds and time and time six to high heels No, I don't I don't know my period I make dinner for I'm trying to remember what my

Tinder profile was, but I can't really remember what it was so I don't really have I kind of want to read download it right now just to remember what it was. So I don't really have, I kind of want to read download it right now, just to see what it was. I think that's good. Yeah, that's why you want to read download it. I have it on film. It's just perfect. Oh, it's happening.

Yeah, okay, Kup, it's pretty good. I didn't know that was happening. I was more of a street cat anyway, you know? What is that mean? I can tell you. Look at him. He's spilly trash. That's how they get laid over there.

Sorry to be. Oh, they just stand on the street and fucking. No, street cat is. Oh, look at him. He's Philly trash. That's how they get laid over there. Sorry to be. Oh, they just stand on the street and fucking. No, street cat is more like, you know, I feel like I'm better in person. Like on like a phone. We disagree. Like, I don't think it's easy. That's how I feel.

I feel like I can't talk to these guys. Like, I don't know what to say to you. You literally don't have to do anything. Yeah, you're enjoying it. What was that? It's not, it's just I don't know this is my stupid jaded opinion about online dating nothing's ever happened out of it you could get laid. That's what you want to annoying okay well that's what you're looking for. You want random dick because you don't want to fuck any

comedians because you're trying to do this shit so you want random dick because you don't want to fuck any comedians because you're trying to do this shit So you want random dick, so just do it. All right, but you don't why would a girl need that on go online? I mean that honestly, I know that's like the gimmick but everyone's telling me that like go boom boom boom boom I'm like all right, whatever. There's no harm. I don't mean to try Do it? Why? Because I'm gonna be 30 I can't go to bars because everyone's fucking 24 Yeah, and then yeah, no, I don't and I don't want to bars because everyone's fucking 24. And then at the time. Yeah, no, I don't. And I don't want to. I'm not going clubbing. God, I'll fall asleep.

Oh my god. But what are you going to mean to the bar in a bumble date? That's like the move. No, but so. This is all I got. You could change it up though. You can't do this.

Oh my god. You could always go to the cafe from you've got mail. Put a rose inside a book. Landmark. I went to actually on a bumble date at that cafe. the cafe from you've got mail. Put a rose inside a boat, a landmark. I went to actually on a bumble date at that cafe. It's a great place to go on a date. I've had to eat them. How'd it go?

Pretty good. Oh, it's nice. It's nice. She looks nothing like her profile. Oh, really? That's my man. She had the end up in a meeting. I can't say, like I'm really bad at saying no in the sense of like,

if she goes, we should hang out again. I go totally and then I just ghost. Would you leave? No, I've never left a date. I almost left that before I got there. I got around the corner and I realized who it was and I was like, this is not at all the person I thought it was and I tried to turn around, which we made eye context.

I was like, well, I guess I'm doing this for the night. And yeah, at the end of the night, I was like, we should do this again. She goes, really? I was like, oh, I guess I'm doing this for the night. And yeah, at the end of the night, I was like, we should do this again. And she goes, really? I was like, oh, was it that obvious? She knew. Oh, she knew.

Yeah, tough one. Someone in chat says, Chris, he's on Kinder. It's a chocolate reference. I don't get it. Kinder? Yeah, Kinder eggs? You every thing. Oh, no.

Sorry. Sorry, Chris. I don't care. I love chocolate. So it looks like what's your turn. Me? Yes, me. No anymore. I don't care. I love you. What's your tell me? Yeah, that's either No, I think you got to an age and you just feel Yeah, have you talked to any of these men yet? Yeah, and so do they try and hang out with you?

Yeah, and you say no no, I haven't said no. I just don't let you know Oh, that's the worst that's worse than than I know. Dude, just pick one and do it. Scared. I got it though. But we need podcast fodder. Be out there. Put spread your legs. Let's invite one up right now. Hell yeah. We could probably get one of these finance guys up here in the next 45 minutes, but that's I feel like we've been here for. Yeah. I I Because I'm sweeping to the muscles I'll tell me the Cows I've been I've been back up on 10 girls tender dates before like a girl for a girl who's a friend of mine We should do together. Yeah, like no, I'll just be like in the room in case it gets weird and then they can just leave The muscle I could be the muscle and I've done that I'm like I'm the muscle I could be the muscle and I've done that I literally have nothing to do I have nothing going on I'm just going on tender

dates for other people it's pretty great I stopped going on dates because I'm not funny after I get laid wait I lost you after you said does anyone also agree with that like you, you know, after you get... That's when I'm crying, I love you, D-Poos. I love you. That's when you were last. I go through this. That's when I'm funniest. I crush post sex.

Yeah, really. It's the best. Because you don't care anymore. And in the morning, I'm the funniest human being after night of sex in the morning. I wake up on fucking fire. Prove it. Well, no, no.

Yeah. Yeah, we're out of there. My dick hole's on fire. I thought I didn't. It's a knock. All right, so I think that's enough. I think we did 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah, my bad over there my dick holes on fire All right, so I think that's enough I think we did 20 minutes So I believe that is the post show for this week if I could if I could say I was on yeah, I'm sick of your Because I mean, I've been on the podcast not that long ago a few months ago. I'm sick of you not just fucking own it Go on a fucking date all right and just do it all right. Yeah, all right, totally cool

I thought you're about to yell at me for a second. I do on the podcast. I'm not yelling at you Just do it. All right, but I'm proud of you for cutting myself out there. I'm proud of you I'm proud of you for 10 years That's what this is. This is the first time out of 10 years. This is a divorce. Whoa Like actual marriage divorce Yeah, I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there Whoa the actual marriage divorce I want to apologize if I was the to blonde with this How long ago was this thing you got out of this?

I was almost got married. I was in the seven-year thing that I'll never do it again. No, don't We're getting by tiger a tiger. We're linging. I wish. We're made of the easier. But I almost think it's like a band-aid at this point. It is. I think the anticipation is going to be harder than just doing it. Even if you get one day under your belt, it'll be easier for you next week.

Are you still not over? No, no, no, no. You're like, don't. We're like like not over? You're like, friends, we like high five down or like see later because we've been together since we were like eight. You're not like going to sleep crime because you miss your husband. It's okay. If you are, I swear, I cried for a year after my even though I hated her. I was like, I just didn't know what to do. It's not hard. It's not easy, but you get over it. I mean, you got a little easier. a little easier for women to get over, I think, sometimes.

You think so why? A lot of different reasons. Because they can get it, usually. I don't know. I think men are like distant in the relationship, and then when it's out, I think it's the opposite. I think women are more supportive for each other. Yeah, you were right on me for a lot. Yeah. And yeah. That's an interesting perspective. I can see that. Hey, but we're all just people at the end It's right

Extra Ended it when I was about to yeah, but then we got deep and we actually learned a little Night other yeah, all right. Well cool. I think we got everything tonight So everyone else got their plugs and Steve. What do you got I need to get you to Steve well mr. jokes.com st. Ev. E. W. H. A. L. E. N. Marjoke S dot com there's a whole bunch of stuff there last woman I dated look nothing like her profile picture in her profile picture she wasn't crying Am I right? I thought you guys know I had to get a joke in but Emphasis on the welcome yes, so Mike Christie Steve Tom talk. Yes, so Mike, Christie, Steve, Tom, Lauren,

thank you so much. Nice to have you. Thanks for having us. I love you all again. And be sure to listen to YKWD every week on YouTube, iTunes, SoundCloud, and wherever else podcasts are found. Good night, everybody. Have a nice night.

See you later.