Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Pun Bros

Episode Date: November 25, 2019

Regulars Joe List and Luis Gomez return for an unforgettable episode of YKWD! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

No one's here! You know what I mean? Really, really, really, really. You know what I mean. I'm just starting to stick. Hey, today's episode, support for YKDVD, comes from Manscape, who is the best in men's below the belt grooming. Manscape offers precision engineering tools for your family jewels. I love that. I love Manscape.

I love my mother. Oh, my God, I'm so happy. They're a sponsor of the show. Me too. They gave me because I'm not even kin. We'll talk about it later. I'm not even supposed to do the plug halfway through, right? Yeah, but I could talk about it forever because I've nicked my nuts many a times. Cool. Nutnicker. Oh, I love to get my nuts sucked and I can't when they're nicked. I'm gonna fucking girl to come up. It looks like she's a vampire. Anyways, hello. All right. So the studio is this way. This is the last YKWD. I'm not kidding. I didn't want to tell anybody.

Ryecast is actually got bought. All the shows are moving. Um, this studio is now going to become an apartment for, um, no, um, son. I'm, no, this is a fact. I, I wanted to do it this way because I didn't want to, um, freak. I didn't want it to be a long, prolonged thing. I didn't want to saw the arm off. I wanted to cut it off. So we get Wednesdays free now. No, the Wednesdays over. We're done. Podcast done. YKWD over his son is four. It's going to take a while from the move in Joe. Oh, okay. Yeah, it does look like you're doing a shitty job. Yeah, they have a lot to do here. Oh, cuck, sorry. You have to always ruin it. Couldn't wear go with me? I'm not ruining it. I'm kidding. You made it

better. Thank you. You made it weird. Now that's a good podcast. That's really good. Yeah. No, we're redoing the studio yet again. Big things coming. I told you, Ryecast, new partners. And we've got a lot of great stuff happening with this company. I'm very excited, RiotCast. The whole studio is being redone. It's gonna be beautiful in here. We're gonna have new shows coming to the network.

We're gonna announce. So what's gonna happen in here? Like what will it be? Couch is back. We're gonna have a, oh yeah, we're gonna have tub. We're gonna have a couple different things. We're gonna have a different, you'll be able to do more than just this one big,

this desk is gone. What? Yeah, the desk is gone. No kidding. Yeah All gonna grab it. It's gonna be a table in place Then we're gonna we're gonna have a table. Yeah, it's gonna be but a better a more functional table I see that you can do different shows and this is kind of you know one guy being the guy Mm-hmm. You know the captain's chair when I drew this on a napkin guy being the guy, the captain's chair. When I drew this on a napkin and gave it to Liz, who gave it to Tony, I really didn't think it was gonna come to fruition.

So you're saying maybe you'll kind of step down a little bit as like the big hauncho guy. You'll be a little more level, a little more even, a little more. No, my chair is gonna be 10 feet high. What I'm gonna be doing is I'll be looking down at you to the host show. Yes, I'll have a throne. So no, it's gonna be, it's just gonna be able to do like there's gonna be kind of a place over here

and maybe over here and right here is gonna be a desk but we're all gonna be able to see, we'll be a little closer. It's not gonna be so spread out. The producers are gonna go way over there. So, Zach, zzz. What about that side? Where the producers are upstairs or downstairs,

or just not here in general. Sure. You need the producers. If you don't have the producers, who's gonna produce your show? But maybe they're in another room so they don't have to look at some of their faces or a little displeasing.

I'm gonna count myself out of that. Yeah, no, your face is great. I don't want to name it. And your face is grace if you like young Dutch boys. I do. And he does. Who doesn't? I like to suck a Dutch boy's dick.

What the fuck? For fun. What are you saying? Only for fun. I'm saying you go to Amsterdam as a young kid. Maybe not two young 1112 and then you're like, let's see legal. You blow him.

It's not Amsterdam, it's not damn it's not an abstract you can smoke weed. Yeah, but that's different. No, his name is weed. How is smoking weed different than blowing a 12 year old kid? He came out with a good one, but everybody stepped on it. What was it? Sorry. I wasn't really good. You don't get to be part of it. I didn't know you had a personality of a snail shell. snail? It means I'm a slug now. It means he's less personable than a snail.

He's actually the shell. It's a dumb. Listen, Dutch boy, for Joe blows you. Oh God, it looked a blow. You strap one on and I just suck your dick. Could you imagine being like a day dude at your age? Yes, it's all I imagine. A boy that look like Abby.

How hot that would be? David Taylor. She's a six as a woman, as A boy that looked like Gabby. How hot that would be. David Taylor. She's a six as a woman, as a boy. She's an 11. I'm at least an eight. She's an 11 as a boy. Oh my God, if you met her as a boy, I would fucking, I'd be gay.

I can't believe you have the gall to call me a seven. As a fucking illegal. I said six. Now I'm getting you said seven. I said six. I always, I always round out. I said 11 as a, as a European boy, you're a fucking 11. Yeah, you're a hot boy.

You're a hot boy. I'm getting older. Do we change the scale to a one to 20? What do you mean? I was two things, she's an eight. So I assume the scale is different than I remember it. Eight is crazy. I don't even know what a scale is.

You're lovely. You're a lovely lady. Thanks, Mike. I liked it. I got fat support from the Mexican next to me. Yeah, that's sweet. We're lovely. You're a lovely lady. Thanks Mike. I like it. I got fat support from the Mexican next to me. Yeah, that's sweet. We're diabetes. What did you get? Did you? Did you go back in time and go to a fucking Alice Cooper concert? Where'd you get that shirt? Nothing.

I like that. It doesn't feel Alice Cooperie. I'm going to be honest. What it feels a little more CCR or something like that. Joe Walshie. Yeah, little Joe Walshish. I'm gonna be honest. It feels a little more CCR or something like that. Joe Walshish. Yeah, little Joe Walshish. Yeah, Joe Walshish. I know a Joe Walsh named after me. What?

Friend Derek, you know Derek. Yeah. By the way, Sarah, I've talked about it before. I shouldn't even bring it up. It's been brought up a lot. But Sarah and I were recounting our wedding. And I didn't realize how much anxiety she had from directly from you. Why me?

Because we've talked about it before. This is the way you were. We were all, she thought we left. She was like freaking out. She's like, I didn't want to talk about it then, because you wanted to cool down in the AC, and we were supposed to be standing out there. No one was there.

She said to her dad, she was like, almost crying. She's like, where is everybody? Oh, and we were in the fucking other side of the hotel. She needs to get a therapist and you need to get a new one. She has a therapist. We have the same therapist. You both have to stop that person's stinks. He's your therapist.

He's a lousy therapist. I look, I know he's not gonna help me. I just hired him as a friend. She was just a friend. That, she's fine now. She's doing fine. She doesn't sound fine because I'm still dealing with this. It was hot.

Do you want a sweaty groom and a sweaty dude marrying you? What do you want some cool dudes who are all nice and chill? Yeah, well, what it looks like, we need dudes there. Well, who? There was no dudes, it was empty. Okay, well who? How in God's green earth did she think that you left? What are you, where are you going?

She didn't think I left. What do you mean where I was at going? That's hurtful. I could fuck a kid from Amsterdam. Not like Gabby. How much that would cost? Oh, yeah. She's so good looking as a boy.

No, I looked into it. How much it cost to fuck a kid? Could you imagine if you went to like a club and Gabby as a boy walked up and was like, Hey, hello. Hello. I think I like Chubby Men. All right, oh, you're okay. I love men with small mouths.

Oh, I was worried about where that was gonna go, but I appreciate it. I love men with a large forehead. Come on, man. What, you have a large forehead? Oh my God. Like, who is that? Is that Ramon from Cleveland?

Ramon Rebus, he lives here. It does he live here now? Yeah, God, you look terrible. Leave him alone, you look good, Lou. This is like, he's about to fight. He's like in the corner, if he can just get up. I don't know what would make me happy if he just attacked both of us right now. I just came from MMA, so I would be all right.

What MMA? Yeah, I'd fucking... What would you do? What's the leg lock thing called again? The leg lock is called a leg lock. What's it called? Is there a leg lesbian? No, when you choke the guy with the legs. Triangle, I'd fucking triangle his dumb face.

You'd rub pussy's together with him? Pink triangle. We signed that together on the show. He's being fucking bitch, it's a great fucking, why are you getting fat? Sit down. We're saying it together on the show. You're getting fat. You I could see you got fucking you got big hips. Look at that big butt.

It really is fighter like wrestling energy. He comes in. He's like taking his snake off. Look at him. He's ah, what happened? What did you just do? What did you do? He broke his hand slap fighting. Uh, did you just do? What did you do? He broke his hand slap fighting. Uh-huh. Did you break your hand? That was pretty much on. That makes me happy. How does it make me happy?

You got kind of tuned up too. I watched the video. Well, you lost, right? Yeah. Yeah. What? I'm just going to lose and break something. What are you stopping at shitty gas stations a lot?

Yeah. I'm bad. We get these glasses. Guys, I want to say this, Gabby, I think that's your text, to me to come on this show. I literally don't have the number save, so I don't know who's actually texting me. We were talking about Gabby being a six as a girl,

but as a young Dutch boy, and the 11. Be on my side. Gabby's, I mean, if you're an Amsterdam, and you're at a club, and a little gay boy, looks like her, walks up. I'm counting on you. I'm big fan of Skank. I love you.

I like to suck your dick. It's not gay. What you looking at her? Gabby, here's the thing. For me, Gabby is a real world 8.75. What you? In as a woman or a man. That's amazing.

For me. As a woman or a man? As a woman. Wow. As a man. Can I tell you why? or a man. That's amazing. Wait for me. As a woman or a man? As a woman. Wow. As a man. Can I tell you why? As a man.

Is it a man? Yeah. She's not a good looking man. She's skinny. Oh my God. What do you like? He's all mine. I want a big manly man on top of me and fucking slide his back.

I'm right here. Fuck it. Let's go camping without the kids. Doggy. Come on. Let's go, Dougie. But because I beg you, right in your mouth. Gabby's tall and slender and beautiful.

She's flat-chested. Who's this? Like, that's like what I like. Why, I just, I just sip tea. Who's this here? Who's this? That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's

that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's Lewis just described that he's into me. Oh, thank you. Beautiful. That's a, yeah.

As a guy, what is your guy? If you're going to bang a guy, what is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing?

What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing?

What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? What is your thing? around, treat you like a lady. Yeah, like lady you are. Look how well for my life. I'm gonna be picked up and thrown around like a dainty little lady. Yeah, you want that. So the rock grabs you. Yeah. Can you smell? My dick. What my dick is? Can you taste finally? My dick has come back to your asshole. I have a bone to pick with Gabby though. Oh, you do. Please. So this bitch. Get a love Lewis's bones right on the gate to this hole. I think she has a bone with you now. She fuck attacks me. Yeah. She's like, Oh, can you do YK2B2 Yankee swap on this date? Yeah. One o'clock. Yeah. Or 12 o'clock, whatever it is that I go, no, I can't. I have to do my show, but I can come if you guys can push it back a little bit.

She goes, all right, well, the show will be going along. I'm sure he could just come by whenever. And I was like, really? That's what I am to why KWD is not what's what we did push it back. No, well, yeah, because I had to give push back. I do fuck I literally told you, you can really text me. I got so shitty. No, I'm wrong. I want to hear it.

I want to hear. Get the text messages. I want to read right before he snaps on you. Here's what I do. I go like this. I'll make the time. I'll move whatever I have. You're a fucking rag. I'm a pro. You're a rag. You're a regional rag. Yeah, you're regular. I'm fucking above and beyond bitch. No, he's not how he's. I'm a pro when I care. You know what it is? I'm white. You're an original reg. He's a reg. We're all going around dance dance getter. Anyways, that's true. That's true. I gotta make sure that Dan, I mean, I actually know.

That's what I'm saying. I got a substitute for that fucking forehead. Who? Big boy Dan's not coming. If he doesn't, I got a sub form already. Yeah. Who? He's an understudy. I have an understudy.

I have an understudy for that motherfucker. It's one of those giant head statues that are like just having ones with the world. This is how smart and dumb you are. You thought of that, which is a great joke. Yeah. You couldn't fucking, couldn't finish. You couldn't finish it, couldn't finish.

You don't know what Stonehenge is. Stonehenge, yes. It's not, it's not, it's not Stonehenge. Stonehenge is fucking fucking dead. Just a bunch of, oh, you're talking about Hawaiian things. Yeah, I'm dumb too. I admit that.

That's why I'm smart. I admit I'm dumb dudes. Dumb dudes. New podcast on fucking on riot gas. Oh, I like it. No, riot. Probably on a gas. We riot gas.

We have, we have a nice studio. We got too much shows. You're really, you neglecting the little ones. That's the room of the street. Every show grows by 10 to 10. It's not month to month. So month to month. Is it Michael Winslow?

Did you get a different voice guy? No. Oh, thanks. Thanks, Mike. So who's your substitute for Dan? I'll tell you, I wanna hear this, I wanna hear this fucking, I wanna hear how, it want to hear how let's hear it. Let me read it I got my glasses

Okay, ready Don't scroll up though because it gets crazy up there. It's a hundred dick pics that I sent him Can't do Thursday. Hey, sorry can't do that day at and time no worries You'll then know where you the blue right? Yeah, okay great Hey, we want to do reg show, promote soda special. That's way. No, that's you scroll. We gotta go down.

Okay, latest work. I'll make it work. Hold on. All right. It's above that. It's above that. Hey, okay, here we go. It wasn't me.

It was Joe. What? I can't be there for the whole episode. Don't want to, if I can't be there for the whole episode. No, want to, uh, if I can't be there for the whole, no, go up to the top. What are they asking me to come on? Going back up again. This is riveting her asking me to come on.

Hey, can you do the Yankee swap episode 12 blah blah blah? I can do one PM. My pod goes from 11 to 12 30. Okay. Uh, uh, we can do 12 to two, but I'm sure we'll go late. Can you come after? If I can't be there for the whole episode, I don't wanna come.

Okay, let me see what I can do. Hold on. Not bad. Not going to come for last half of the episode. I'm there every year. If you guys can't make it work, then I guess it is an important to me to be there. What a fucking baby. Right now, I take away your iPad important to me to be there. What a fucking baby.

Right now, I take away your iPad. You go to your room. I'll fuck you. That's crazy, Hershey. I'll make you work. Don't worry, hold on. We of course need you on. Oh, of course.

Makes sense. That's nice. Okay, let's do one of three. Okay, nothing. Confirming. Yes, ma'am. I mean, what does nothing bad about that? It's you being a baby, which I mean, you all you have to say is that I've been Joe Lest I would just been the last half of that episode. I would miss

the entire Thorn Rose Bud Baker thing. Thorn Rose Buzz Buzz. Thorn Rose Bud Baker. It's a new thing we're playing this year. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle.

I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle.

I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I'm gonna throw it in the middle. I should be mad at her. I was thinking about catering everyone. Wow.

What's going on with the studio? Why does it smell like shit? It's we're painting it. It's getting a whole reboot. All right, we're really having gas digital bought right cast guys. Guys, this is happening. It's up buddy.

Good to be on. Thank you so much, man. Woo. This is it. I'm now everyone's boss. Gabby, take your shirt off. No, no, no. Sit over here. Jump suit. It's a jump suit I'm now everyone's boss. Gabby, take your shirt off. No. I'm over sit over here. Jump suit, it's a jump suit.

To jump suit. Gabby's hot. Gabby, because she's a rich white tall bitch, like I'm into that, I wanna see my cocoa brown skin against that fucking creamy pale, pasty fucking, bony body. Wow, you just turned into a good writer for a second. Yeah. That was nice.

One second. Yeah, you were like Jack Kluxman, one of the guys name is Jack London. Kluxman is from the fucking hot club. That was really good, man. I don't see it, I really don't. I think you're sweet and you have a nice face, but I think six is more the neighborhood.

No, I think six is. There's five types of women that are less attractive than you. And there's about four that are more attractive. That's crazy. Yeah, there's four groupings that are more attractive. I know. No, she's like that a thing. If she was a model, you'd believe it. Yeah, but if she's not, she's here. I've got to say she's never think. She has a thing and that thing is a six. How tall are you? Five, ten. Yeah. Is that model height? Yeah. That's gross. Really? Five, ten. Give me a nice three eight woman. Pig tails and you know what I mean?

No, put your hair ever. No pussy. Jesus, will you stop up getting? I know you are, but it's getting crazy now. Sorry, sorry. We talked about what was the black guy? Holy shit. You didn't see him against the white wall. That's why we painted the wall white. He's been here for months.

But it was a fancy painting. I thought it was a what painting? Fancy. Oh, thanks. It was pretty good. We both had a good one at the same time. Mine was funny. You should have just waited.

I had bad timing. Yeah, you have shitty timing. It's true. Yeah. And that's the dark web. That's a dark web. Go on dark web. Yeah, the dark web. What do you call it? That's what you call it. The dark web. That's a dark web. What do you call himself?

That's what you call himself. The dark web. Anywho, yeah, we wouldn't do the part. If you, of course, you three, we try to cater to what you guys are gonna fucking do, we want you to be here, but I do have a sub. I think we should still invite him, what you're making. So, but here's the sandwich.

I wish I had a sandwich. Here's the sandwich, it keeps the amount open. I have been at a carbon four days. I haven't had a month of carbon free, bro. I'm I had a sandwich. His sandwich is like, it keeps fire. I'm in a carbon four days. I haven't had a month of carbon free, bro. I'm fucking dying, man. You're carb free. Joe, you should be eating carbohydrate. You're skinny and bitch like you should be eating.

I'm fucking ripped, dog. No, dude. You should get a job at a shag factory. Shagger factory? Nothing. I'm really in a job at a shagger factory. He just said, I don't even make sense because they don't have to do money. That's really refined sugar.

Shout out Michael! He was helping you. It's like being in the back of the table, the fucking comedy style, we just fucking shoot shit, it's fucking... How would you know? You've never been there. I do show up here and it's like going back to my middle school where all the staff and principals hated me. So it's just this feeling of like I never belonged.

Fuck this place. I have a burns down. No, you know, you love this place. Well now I own the studio above it. So now I hope you do. Yeah, of course you do. This is your studio. Um, you're still in here, right?

What at the seller? I mean, I was told not to put an avails with words. That's what's so brutal about it. Yeah, they just ghost you right now. Yeah, yeah. And then you gotta like walk in. I literally won't, I won't even walk in anymore. What do you mean, why?

I'm not gonna fucking walk into a place that doesn't want me. Oh, we gotta tell, no, no. We just want to just ghost him until he never shows up again. Now the crowd tried that, it didn't work. Yeah. That's all areas, guys. Yeah.

Very funny. Very funny. It is funny. You're making a list. You're making a list. You're going to take us all out. You're all on the good side. Don't worry.

Fuck your list. Speaking of gonna take us all out. You're all on the good side. Don't worry. Fuck your list. Speaking of lists, Joe. Yeah. I'm a list. Gabby, you don't have a boyfriend? No. Gabby, I'm single now. Why don't we just make out? No. Come on. Who cares? Why would you? Why would you fucking? Gabby, how funny would it be if we made out on and why could we do it now? Like, it just a passionate make out session for like a minute. A minute. That's a long time. Eight seconds. I'm not saying you would do it. I'm not asking you to do it. Like, just a passionate make out session for like a minute. A minute. That's a long time.

Eight seconds. I'm not saying you would do it. I'm not asking you to do it. Don't make a face. I made it. I thought about it. And I was like, in my head, I just wouldn't be kind of funny. It wouldn't be funny.

I think it would be cute. It wouldn't be funny. I think it would be cute. I think it would be bringing two shows together. Gabby. No. I'm a great guest. Gabby.

That's not how Romeo and Juliet goes. It's not bringing two podcasts. That works together. I hope that's like Romeo and Juliet. I'm just going to poison Gabby no, I'm a great Kessie. Romeo and Juliet. No, Gabby. That's not how Romeo and Juliet goes. It's not bringing two podcasts. Now we're together. I hope that's like Romeo and Juliet. I'm just gonna poison Gabby and stab Joe. It was my joke. I just did it better. No, but I said it differently. Like I know you said it right after I changed I changed shitty. His was first and mine was first. You can't just can't muscle over everybody like a ring. You can't fucking what? I'm also love everybody like a ring. You can't fucking what? Oh, why? Why?

Where's the bomb fucking Dan, man? And you have fucking that, the bomb Dan, who are you? Why are all these fucking people here? Who are they? I really, listen, I don't know who that guy is. Why, dude? I don't know who he is.

Fucking beard, bug, man. How about this? We're in here, one Dan. He just walks in and walks through. And nobody tells me I go, the black guy just walks in the studio, nobody says nothing. Everyone throws a bowl of servants. That's not what happens.

What happened? I told you, the web guy is gonna come up and you just assumed it wasn't him. Well, yeah, that's nice. He thought he was the new port guy. You're saying Lucie's. I hope you choke. I love you, Mike. I'm kidding.

Anyways, yes. But you said, okay. I think we should have another person on. We usually have another person on Greg. Who we have in last year? I remember the Mary fucking gene. That was last year. That was the year before.

Yeah. Boss was last. Boss was year. Oh, that's right. I think we should have another person. Well, we're thinking Greg. Greg Stone. Stone zone. Nope. No, what do you say?

What do you say, Joe? He's not funny. What? Are you nuts? What, dude? You say Greg Stone is not funny? He had problems with Stone. What's your problem?

He knows. What are you being so seductive? I'm trying to gabby to want to kiss me. I'm being mysterious. Gabby, make out with me. You fucking prude. No, it's a bit. It's a hilarious bit. You fucking, uh, Lewis, times up. Okay. Yeah, times up and hashtag me to you. Me too. You don't make out with me. You want to be a big man. That would be funny. That would be common. Gabby, I'll make out Bobby if't make out with me. You want to be a big man. That would be funny That would be comedy. I'll make out Bobby if you make out with me. No, why? I find out I'll make out Bob that makes me cautious and then I have to make out with you I'll make it out with Bobby if you let me go down on you. Here's what would be funny

Let me do it. Here's Just What the fuck is going to do it? This would be comedy. It's not a bit. That's not funny. This would be a bit. If Gabby now made up with all seven guys in the room, except Lewis, that would be fun. That's a bit.

Oh my god, that would be a bit. It's a bit. It's a bit. Three, four, five, six, seven other men in here. And Becky, for good measure. There's eight people, and then Lewis had to watch. That would be comedy. Can you hang the camera from the ceiling?

Let's do this. Like a gang bang video. Now I'm a married man. So I won't. Gabby. Gabby. Gabby. Dude, Fistuka would have been there in a heartbeat.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, she even dated Soda as a bit. Oh, did she? They dated for like six months. That was a bit disgusting. Wow. Wow. Woo.

Hello. All right. Hello. All right. Lewis got his one in. Let's let him go. disgusting. What? What? What? Woo! Hello! All right. Hello! All right. Lewis got his one in. Let's let him go. That was a good one. Can you send that part of the show to Estee?

Just that one moment. Can I send it to your network, too? Please. Woo! Laffer too much. It took hell. I will on the comedy show I wanted to. You will? What are you gonna do with it?

Just buy it and just fucking torch it Just kidding no I like no Well, who do you want everybody here likes you? What's wrong with you? No, they just don't like your stand-up They think you're a terrific fella. They think I'm okay. I'm a better comedian than I am person you can I'm a better comedian than I am person. You can. You got a fucking depends of what day. I've seen you do stand up. It's fucking brutal.

Sometimes I'd rather take you being mean. You sent me a text message, Lou, about the father day. I never respond. He didn't respond. That's what Bobby does. No, no, no, that's not what I do. I always respond. You know that.

I just flaked on it. I remember it today when you were coming in. But where are you going to go and when is that? That's not for a while. Father's Day weekend, I go every year with my son. Where are we going? If I was to go, where were we going? What was you going to do?

You please. All right, but like, give me a couple of examples of what you would think. Okay, last year we went to Puerto Rico. I'm not doing that again, obviously. But like, I like to go, it could be as crazy as fucking Europe. It could be as not crazy as fucking, we go to the fucking, you know, mountains upstate and go hiking.

How about a nice lunch at the olive tree? You want to see an intellectual of the Comedy Cellar? I'm trying to think of where we could go. Well, I want to bring my son to Jamaica, but I feel like getting him high at seven just isn't the time. It's probably, yeah, I wouldn't do that. Yeah, yeah. How about we go to Amsterdam and do it?

I'm just gonna fuck up. That's where you fucked the kids? Nobody's fucking get stopped saying fucking shit. Joe, that's not a funny fucking bit, dude. Exactly when we're talking about it. I know how make bits, Gabby, can we sit in my lap? No. Oh my god. No, oh my God.

No. I'm uncomfortable. I really am. I think time's up. These chairs think once we really take over and read. Get new chairs. We're gonna get new chairs. I thought we talked about we got new chairs, right?

We got a new table too. Yeah, you can be close to the gap. New chairs, new tables, new hosts. You don't think, I look, I understand. You don't do anything you don't want to do. But you don't think Lewis is a good looking guy. He's a good looking guy. You don't think I'm a gooder. You don't think I'm a like a probably a good kisser Make out with Bobby and then you tell me let me ask you question Lewis

Why can you trim that mustache? We have a thing called man scape I actually have a man scape trimmer Why don't you trim that little bit? I'm hanging over like a like a teaching chong mustache doggy I'm not hanging over it. It's hanging over a little bit. I trimmed. No, because I was gonna make out with you, but then I saw that little thing and I didn't get it. Is that why? No.

You may get out with me. No. A list of things. What name's three? No, no, and also no. Yeah, I don't wanna harass my person, okay? I'm his person. Paras isn't that great.

Wow, you love the other one. I really like that one. You like that one? I like puns. I know, you can call it. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's little bit of a... Yankeeswap if you could, somebody gets me a Lewis puppet. Maybe it should be a rattlesnake, you know? A rattlesnake puppet.

That's fun. And the rattlesnake says all the mean shit, and you can be a nice guy. What a low skill puppet that is, though, there's no fucking little sticks for the hands or anything, it's just a snake. Well, a rattlesnake could have hands, man, it's your creation.

Yeah, rattlesnakes can have hands, those are called lizards, Joe. Yeah, that's true. He's right about that. The fucking, fucking this called a lizard. Yeah. You don't have a kid. You don't watch YouTube videos. Yeah, Joe, when you get to get your girl pregnant, dude, comes week. It's a wife. And it's, I don't know. No, we have financial issues, you know. Well, financial, you're doing great. I was doing great and what happened fucking they times up Louis and then Netflix stopped looking me Netflix was booking you personally well, they booked me once I thought I would lead to more things all the half hour thing

Yeah, the Napar Datsy convinced every comedian that the half hour is gonna change your life Yeah, Napar got these paying three grand a month for a team to fucking make him famous Yeah, and if you got to tell you that part, you should have just hired the team. I'd have a root canal yesterday, two grand. Boom. Jesus Christ. Like that. And I'm still here, by the way, trooper.

Yeah, you are a trooper. Fuck yeah. Yeah, you get 90 burn by the teeth. Look at this. How do you burn your lip? Cause they use a torsiness. The smoking sealed the thing. Yeah, they did it in Queens that a guy's apartment.

The fuck was that you? What? What do they use? Why do they bring the torches? They got to seal up the fucking thing. They use a torch and they burn my lip off. You smoking weed out of your mouth. He said I might have bit my lip too. Might have been my fault. He's trying to blame you so you don't sue him. That's exactly right. Yeah, it looks like you bit your lip. Yeah, you didn't bite your lip. How do you fucking bite your lip? Yeah, and it's like bright white. I was like, I've never bitten my lip before. Oh, that's where you punch your own eye.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah, he, that's where you fucking gave yourself a fucking wedgie. You shouldn't be mad at SD. You should actually be like, you're doing a good job. Yeah. How the fuck you and your new character laugh?

Save for the puppet. Um, we could put a thing, like put it on this thing. I'm going to get that done. Um, yeah, dude, let me see your mouth open up. Yeah, he burned you dude. It was worse yesterday. It was bright white. Yeah, that's a burn dude.

That's not a bite. When you bite yourself, you cut. It would be bleeding. Yeah, exactly. A burn is white. Yeah. He burned you. Yeah, that's a burn dude. That's not a bite. When you bite yourself, you cut. It would be breathing. Yeah, exactly. A burn is white. Yeah. He burned you. Yeah, he burned me.

That's fucked up. And he's like, yeah, it must have bit yourself. I don't know. You should have said, no, you burned me. And he would be like, oh, maybe I did. You should have pushed it. I'm not good in those f- Here's the problem with me.

I'm either a fucking, you know, I want to beat you up or I just, I just let people fucking lock on me. I don't have, I don't have that ability to go, no, you burn me. Well, here's the thing, but you also have to, because I don't want to fight them. I, I see the, but I think you also have to pick battles, right?

I mean, I'm like, it's gonna, it's going down. It's better today than yesterday. And it's like, how bad do I really get, do I want to be on bad terms with my dentist? Yeah, but, but you got lied to you. Yeah, I want to, I want you any assaulted you with fire. Yeah, Yeah, but you got lied to you. Yeah, I want you any assaulted you with fire. Yeah, he burned you and he lied to you.

I don't want to be, it's like, why can't you say? Probably shouldn't go back to that dentist. He burned you and lied to you immediately. I'm kind of into that though. He steps on my balls, I'll marry him. I can't talk to you. I can't talk to you. Yeah, it's fine.

I had a ruckana. But tell you what folks, if you're out there and you're ruckana on your nervous, the technology's changed. It's fucking easy. They numb me up and it was like 10 minutes. Boom. I got all four wisdom teeth impacted taking out.

It was, and I was newly sober. Oh yeah, remember the guy was on my, his knee was on my fucking, he crawled up on me to dig and I heard it crack Yeah, they should have knocked you out you didn't knock me out and I took Tylenol after it Yeah, that's what I was the worst decision. I've ever fucking made it. I should have took drugs I know you tell me about that prolonged my not getting my wisdom teeth taken out. Why do you not take painkillers?

Well, no, I'm just talking about your horror story. I'll take Tylenol. I've taken, I take codone and it, but it doesn't do that. It's the same, it's like a little bit of a stronger. No, you need some good shit. Would you take some good shit? No. I took it for my knee operation.

I was like, there's no way I'm going through that shit again. I took it and I got fucked up because I took it and that was a guy that I'm done and I stopped taking it. And you can't do that. You got to wean yourself off. I was just shaking in my bed. Jesus, that was fucking terrible. I had propofall when they gave me my endoscopy.

That was fun because I was being drunk for like a half hour. Dude, that shit is. Oh, the propofall when he put you under, you know? Yeah, it's legit. It was fun. I was sending out, it felt like I was drunk. I was like, it's legit. It was fun. I was sending out. It felt like I was drunk. I was, I was like, I got to capitalize on this. I was sending drunk texts for like 10 minutes. It felt so good. It was really fun. I got girls you up at

one o'clock in the afternoon. I actually got it when I got the fucking upper and lower. Oh, the colonoscopy colonoscopy and the upper endoscopy. Endoscopy. Now is colonoscopy a bummer? Do you have to drink the shit or whatever? It's this way. Before you just drink, it's gatorade. It tastes, it actually tastes really good.

With an endoscopy. And then you just shit your pants at around two, and they fuck you up though, because they tell you, start this at five. You should start the second you wake up, but you start at five, and then you're shitting in the middle of the night, and you have to wake up at like, fucking six to go get the, so I would start

where earlier, but you shit everything. Yeah, that's fun. It is fun. Shitting everything out of your body feels correct. I just had this happen because I started doing a keto diet. And then like two weeks in, I fucking shit like sludge. It was the craziest shit of my life.

First I was constantly, I couldn't get it out, I was like, ah! And then finally I busted open, it bled, and then sludge came out, like a muddy, fuck it, like a pile up on the toilet. Joe, you gave birth. Green. You felt like, you had a miscarriage. like I got a miscarried fucking nine babies at once

You're so that was the placenta yours was they eat that and then the next that doesn't make placenta and then the next day I can't stand that you started this you pieces shit what the pun is this punch Pund bros. That's our podcast. Oh dude. I would do that I would do that with someone else for sure I love fun. Oh dude, I would do that. I would do that with someone else for sure. I mean, I kinda already do it, but anyway, it's like shit for fucking days. And the next day I was like, weak,

because I lost all these fluids. I was all like, oh, yeah. And I felt good. I feel light and ripped. Yeah, the, I'll fucking triangle all of you guys. No, I will beat you up so badly in so many different ways. It's crazy.

That's so funny, because he's so real right now You're scary you're big and scary and weird Yeah, don't these fucking guys forget it. I think Bobby Bobby would knock you fucking head off your shoulders I would be like catch me that makes me not scared of Lewis is he has he has cute freckles on his nose And on my lips. If you look really close to my lips, Gabby, you will notice that I have little freckles that a lot of girls think are attractive. They want to kiss them. You can freckles on your lips. I can freckles on. Oh, that's cute. You can do better than a six. I get, I'm, I'm, I'm

currently doing better than Gabby in many ways, but I'm just saying, you know, I would like it. It's part of the fantasy. There's something about it. How many girls, how many girls you went right now? Just one? Not talking about my sex life. Come on, dude. What the fuck? What?

I've never talked about my sex life. Yeah, you have. Never married. You ruined your marriage. Never married. You know, your wifey that you had. Oh, yeah, I ruined my son's life. Listen, you made it better.

Yeah. He has a real shot. You want to see a film, marriage story, Noah Bombak, Adam Driver, Scarlett Johansson, saw it yesterday, powerful, powerful. You're going to shit.

You want to have a good cry? You fucking watch that movie. No, then I would never cry. I don't watch sad movies. No, I'm purpose. I thought when I was watching the Wendy Pooh movie with James, the new way to the Pooh movie, holy fuck, dude. Is it sad? Doggy. Is it sad? That tell you what my keto shit.

That story. I cried at the theater. Pooh. Look, where are we at, guys? Come on, he's funny. What is what's the movie with the rollercoaster? Wonder park. I've cried at Wonder Park with Max. I think she couldn't get into the seat. Was that the Woody Allen? That was a good one. Whatever we used to trash each other and fucking just oh boom now you're fucking We're doing that. We're just so fucking freaked out that you're fucking with that I'm gonna not a shitty mouth no that's not true we were doing that we're just so fucking freaked out that you're actually good at it a little bit now wait we trashed your home

then then Bobby said you're a bad bad yeah we were trying and every time we trashed Louis Shagomers presents Louis Shagomers.com baby boys go see history for your self Gabby ugly nine times today

yeah which wasn't even a joke. What'd you call it, go see history for yourself. The last comedy special you'll ever need to buy, Louis J. Gau, last one you have a corner by. You'd be like, comedy stinks now. Dark horse special of the year. Did you tell the story about? You can't just give yourself a thing.

By the way, vote for me for all these end of the year list. Louis J. Gauvin's, Louis J. Gummish, but that's the Lusha Gomez. I ain't fucking around bed. But boy, it was a fucking masterpiece. It was a masterpiece of what? Lusha is a master piece of shit. Louis K like it. Louis K did like it. How about that?

Louis K has to like it. There's nothing else. He has nobody else in his corner. Skankfest is his only option back. Louis K told me himself at Skankfest. Yeah. Yeah. That he fucking watched my special and I loved it. It was a great moment.

I wish it was four years ago. That would have done something for you. But you know, if fucking Bob, but Bobby Kelly thinks it stinks. I did not say it's sick. You said it's sick. I didn't say it's sick. You said you said you said you said you said as a human. You're just an awful person.

The Louisie the story. He sent me the special. He's like, dude, you stick as a human. You're just an awful person. Did Louis tell you the story? He sent me the special. He's like, dude, you check out my special, let me know with a, I watched it. There's like a cartoon in the front, which is great, killer. Yeah. Four seconds in, Louis takes the mic out of the mic stand. It cuts to a different angle.

He takes the mic out a second time. Yeah. I go, dude, you got a glitch in the first six seconds. So we edited it. That's why I was having my friend watch it? Lewis sends me back Fuck Such a pain in the ass Cuz you watch it so many times you forget you can't even see it. It's it and it was so glaringly obvious

And then Joe's trying to make me feel better cuz I didn't know if I can get back to the editor on time Yeah, you know the godfather the machines of the godfather that was completely fucked up. That's true What's he into the godfather? They fill the walls, wine glass twice in a row. Okay. The fact that you're comparing the two makes me want to throw the shiner. I was trying to help the guy. I really, I really want to fucking rip your other teeth out. But they do. They filled Tom Hagen's wine glass twice. It's the same exact thing. I know they take it down it real quick. It's one shot to the next. I like the idea of Tom Hagen just pounding wine out. But it was funny. Also I thought you were going to be special

was wonderfully shots. It's like when you have a gig and you're like, do I got a gig? Food is amazing. Wait a taste this chicken parm and you're like, what's it pay? Eight bucks. But the marinara is really something. Anyone give me anything on this? You guys have all lived this before. You started feeling guilty about shit not as special. I know he got it. You started feeling bad that he shit on the special. I told him in when we were in Tampa together, I was like, that's great. You're fucking hours off. What could you tell it to the audience? No, I don't want to lie to my fans. Fuckin' that. I, no.

No, it was great. I told them that. I actually walked up to him when we did Tampa together. Bottleed. I went, who wrote that? Cause it was great. This is what's so great about Louis liking it. I get to go, dude, Louis loved it. And I can kind of keep my opinion quiet.

It was awesome. Now that is good. Louis likes good standup Yeah, and Lewis. Yes, and Lewis. No, it is great What is it on sale? What do you do? How do you get it? You can buy it? You have to pay for that We got to tell people that that's not free buying shit. Yeah, fuck this YouTube Yeah, but we can't because there are there's there's people already sent the precedent of free just give it away. I know I buy stuff give your shit on YouTube son. I buy stuff to support the artist People like I'm a thousand person to download my free special on YouTube gets a free pass sneakers Support us help us I

Know who you're doing, but I don't know who you're doing yo Yo, Sodom tell you wild that you honest I could be It could be a few people It's fucking shots. I love but I'm getting sick of people telling me like dude you and shots dude You guys are fucking geniuses. Oh my god. Yeah, your shorts are fucking genius He's famous and puts shit on YouTube and people watch it. That's not a genius.

Why would you take somebody's compliment like that? That's ridiculous. First of all, you're... Because I'm a genius and I'm in a category of one. And now they're throwing a fucking... Yo! You're lucky you met a Jew with a trust fund. Shot your face with your geniusness.

All right, the genius, though. Yeah, you're not a genius. You don't think I'm a genius. You did what I did. You don't think I'm a genius. You said fucking money. I did it all first. You think I'm a...

And then you copied it. You don't think I'm a genius. Yeah, it's like Steve Jobs, dude. You do fucking jobs. You do fucking jobs. Yeah, and I'm fucking, you're Microsoft. You're Microfat. I'm a, you're gonna be Microfat, stupid.

May a macro suck. Fucking genius. I'm a fucking genius. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a edit. had to be a macro fat. Yeah, a macro. Fuck genius. I'm a fucking genius. Yeah, you're a micro soft. No, you macro soft. Wait, I was telling you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke.

I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke.

I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'll tell you a joke. I'm okay being the writer. I'm the guy behind the guy. It's fuck Dominic. Yes. Coming on his back. Joe, do you text me funny jokes during the show to say? Sure. Is your old girlfriend? Are you giving me Lewis's number? What?

Kim, now Kim's funny. Wish you get her in at the cell. We miss you. Kim's awesome one, right? Thanks buddy. I appreciate it. The folks at home, they can hear it. They can hit that 15 second relying.

That's what they do, but they do the other way. Fast forward. Yeah. Um, what's wrong? What? Nothing. What the fuck is it? Here's what I think. Come on. Open this. I forgot to put it in my cell or a bills. You have to listen to me. Look at me. You have plenty of time. You can do it next month. She's right down there. Do it after the show. Knock on the door. Hello, SD. Yeah. Anyhow, where are we going to go on this trip? Well, how about we go to Germany? Auschwitz. No, that's in Poland. I was there. Um, oh, Schwitz. Auschwitz. I want to go to Germany. How about how about we go to

Dead, let's go to Belgium. Oh, no, let's go to France. Oh, I got it. I know where you should go. Where? Berkshires save some money three hours away. McFuckin beautiful rolling hills. Sucks dick. Montana, no. Oh, we'll suck each other off while the kids go to sleep. I would say, I'll throw you against the wall the way you want it.

You know what's better than Montana, Brady. I'll hit you. I'll hit you with a, I'll hit you with a piece of firewood. You wake up and I'll just be on top of you. Is that what you want? Kind of. What do you want to do?

Montana? What about Montana? I like tropical places. Of course you do. I do like an estropical place. Like my son also likes to swim. He, I asked him the other day because we took him to Disney World last year

and I took him Puerto Rico over the father's eight trip. Yeah. And I asked him like a week ago. I was like, where's your favorite place to go? And he was like Puerto Rico. He loves it more than Disney. I'm gonna take him back to a Rubin a couple weeks.

Oh, so what about, how about this? How about we take him, how about we take him to Carousel? Which I've always wanted to go to is cheaper than a Ruba. Jet Blue. A little more, a little dangerous, not that crazy, but a little bit, right? Less dangerous than Puerto Rico. Yeah, I just feel like if you're going to go to Curacao, why would we just go to Jamaica,

rent a villa, you've been to Jamaica. Bobby, I've been to Jamaica four times, okay? You don't know about Jamaica, it's a problem. I hate it. You've done it a resort. I've done it three times. You've done a resort. I've done the resort.

Have you done a villa? I've done two villas. You're a resort. I've done the resort. Have you done a villa? I've done two villas. You're a liar. Yep. I have to do this. All I have to do is lie to get you off my back about that dirty place. You're a gui.

You're vilifying it. Peep, peep, peep, peep. You are, I kid. You don't know about villa life, doggy. No, stop. You don't know about villa life. What do you want to explain to me villa life? Okay, so first of all, you rent a villa. Okay, I know that. And they give you your own private chef. Okay, great.

You're on private driver. I love that groundskeeper. Just the fuck keep everything. How much is villa life cost? You can do it for depending on the size of the villa roughly between 400 and a thousand a night Depending on the villa now how many night we're gonna go three nights four nights four nights Four nights. I mean I gotta give him out of school again. I can't no no Father's a weekend when is that I forget what June June okay? Why don't you go to a key? C. S. The key save yourself some money here. What are you doing? You want to get a case from coke you want want some blow? I'll do some blow. Do some fucking blow.

Do you go to get the kids? Leave the kids at home. Go to Vegas. Key West is too adult. So now it's just a trip. Oh, yeah. Hey, we can. That's a good trip. We can take him to Vegas.

We'll do the comedy seller Vegas. Hey, you can't get in there. No, I can get you in. This is a little weird. I'm part owner. I can get him in. Are you part owner? Yeah. No, you're not. Yeah, I am. You're part owner. I can get him in. Are you part owner? Yeah, no, you're not. Yeah, I am your part owner. I have a little piece of it

This gave him fucking what's wrong? I know I bought it. I Used my money to buy in okay, but we could do Buy a piece of the stage that I can go on. Yeah I don't know Yeah. I own a little piece of that. Is that the little piece you have? I own a little piece of that. I own a little piece of that. He's going to court on this page. Why don't you, me, you go to Vegas that weekend, we'll work at the seller at night, we'll do three days. Get some hot babysitters.

We'll get babysitters, yeah, we'll get some hot babysitters. Dude, I love hot babysitters, Gab. No. How about my baby baby? Gab, you wouldn't babysit my fucking child and kiss me? No. What? Remember my babysitter? Oh, you can I see a picture of her?

She's so fucking hot. He thought about it. Let me tell you something. I didn't know she was hot. Because she used to show up just all sweat pants hair up. I didn't even look at her. She showed up at my party. Remember that?

Yeah. And people like, who's that? I could stop staring at her. I don't know. She lives in Florida now. She's in school downtown. Told you. You know, my new babysitter is?

What? Her mom. Oh. My name is Brad. I remember her. She was fucking Colombian, so the new babysitter's 30. What? I know.

She's an older woman. Yeah. She was great babysitter though. Fucking the best. So hot. Funny, cute, hot, sexy babysitter. Well the best so hot funny cute hot sexy babies Well, I had a I'm kind of glad she's gone because if she came back after that party I wouldn't even look at it and I follow her on Instagram because she was there that day

She's like I put you in an Instagram. Is that okay? And I was like yeah, so I followed her because she was following me Oh, I remember one day I was looking at she was on the thing and I looked at a photo and accidentally liked Whenever I was gonna get off that I can't I can't like it It's really fun is when someone you go on the Instagram just go to a like a woman's page and then just go way back Like a year and then start liking all the stuff It makes it look like they were you know, you're being a real creepo. Yeah. Is that creepy screw you creepo? What movie Rocky five? Rocky one. Yeah. Oh, you only know Rocky 5 when they like re reference it. You fucking loser But he was technically right, so I wouldn't go I would take that back

I think it was Rocky 6 that they were but he was right go for it You're talking to Gabby again. I'm gonna try and go you bro. You can never try I guarantee you never get a triangle on him That's what's so beautiful about the sport. You think that I can't. Joe, you couldn't get a triangle on me. I try to get a triangle on somebody from my knees to my hips are too small. Well, I can't get a triangle. You can get a circle. Well, I would take advantage. I would grab your broken thumb, snap that in half. You can get a touch with my broken thumb.

Then you're compromised. And then you get to to how do you break your thumb, though? Slap boxing. What is that? Slap boxing. Pulled the video. He got fucking tuned up. Show me the video. Show me the video. Joe Rogan breaking down my slap boxing match. Did did you? Is that when you what? We can't. We took all the TVs down. We have no video. That's good. Maybe it's over here. It's better for the show. You can put it over there.

I put it over there. I think it's better for the show. But is that when you just stand there and slap each other's face? No, not that. That Louis tried to do. That's a slap competition. No, this is where you're, you know,

you're trying to smack each other while you box. And you broke your thumb doing that? I smacked his elbow and fucking. Who are you doing? Jeremiah Walkins. Oh, I love Jeremiah. I'm the man. I love that guy. He's very fun.

And he beat Chapp, huh? He didn't beat me up to you. It was slap boxing. I'll beat the shit out of him physically. But I heard he beat you in slap boxing. Yeah, but that's not the game. He's sl- no, yes, exactly. He beat you in slap boxing.

You beat me in the technically. So you're a loser. So he beat you in slap boxing. Technically. So that's yes. Technic. I think it would be a turn on to Gabby and others if you just manned up and confessed that you're inferior and you lost.

Gabby, if I confess that I'm inferior and I lost, will you make out with me? No. Fuck, we're almost there. Damn it. Dude, we're getting there. We are. If that be what can I possibly do for you to make out with you? This is crap.

Because you can't sell it. You could kind of shape shift. If that be what can I possibly do for you to make out? This is crazy. Because, damn soda. You could kind of shape shift, yeah. Yeah, if you could shape shift into a better comedian. Hahaha. Keep on attacking my comedy, bro. Why, it's all I got. You look good. You fuck.

Haha. You're a genius. That's all I can do. Shape shift and fucking asshole. Shape shift and what are you stoned right now? Yeah. Oh shit. What? Where's my vape pen? Don't vape in here. Look at how many people pop up when you

pull in Lewis Jake Gomez. Look at that. Lewis Gomez Kurt Metzger. Poem. What's the call? Our war. Oh, poems of mental best partner. I'm just taking forever to find this. Huh? Lewis is smoking in the studio. No, he's vaping. It's vaping. It's smoke coming off. Joe, why are you so fucking gnarled, dude? Yeah, he really is. I mean, you know what? I don't want to do it, but you did rad him out. You little fucking queen.

That's what I'm crazy. Yeah, but I don't like it. I don't like that. And I don't, but that's ratting snitches get stitches. Yes, snitches get. Well, first of all, you never in your life. Oh, this is the first lap boxing fight that I actually won by the last one. I want the second one. What is what are you wearing? What? What the last one. I want the second one. I'm going to show it. What are you wearing? What? I wasn't wearing anything. There it is right there.

Second one. There it is. It's Legion of Skank sports. Slap boxing. Yeah. So far they get into this shit. Hang on a second. Stop.

Stop stop. It's sports. Legion of Skank sports. This is one of your sports. What's another sport? Well, we did basketball and we versus big J in the loser or one-on-one basketball game. I had to put the other one got to put a gun in their butt live on the show. Who won that one? Who won that? I won. And you had to put a gun. I had to. A real gun. Got to put a real gun into J's. With a bullet in it? Yeah. One in the chamber. safety off. Are you crazy?

Yeah. Okay, good. Let's go. I love the hang on stop. I love the video stuff. Who's doing all this for you? Gas this little baby. We're not at the redo everything in this place.

I love that. The what's that called? Video, what is that called? Video poker video game video Tilt the radio star Mike you leave me hang it videography Video graphics. Yeah, it's fucking amazing video rental. We've upgraded. I love that dude. It looks fantastic. It was a smoking again We just don't like the smoke stop sure so smoke is vape you. I don't like the smoke. Stop smoking. Stop smoking is vape.

You don't like the vape either. It's, I mean, you read the newspapers? Yeah, pop. Don't you want him to die, young? Keep smoking, though. Go ahead. Are we watching this whole video? I just want to see. I didn't see it.

I think it's the third round. It's where it gets tuned up. I go to the left. I don't need to see them being witty in front of a bunch of laughing at us. There's one blow you've got to see. Louis gets fucking hammered. Oh, there's Becky. Hi. Do you know how to do this?

Oh. Is this it? Yeah, this is the third hit. This is it. You're going to love it. Bobby, you're going to love it. By the way, it's a close round. It's not like he's faster than me and skinnier than me.

He should be able to beat me in slap boxing. All right, low. In a fight. I love his technique, a little jab. He's throwing out jab. Dude, I'll beat the shit out of Jeremiah in a real fight with three of his best friends. Oh, that's slap.

That's slap. Hello, let's go. Oh! Get him with the round of snake. Don't blow up on the left. I think it's towards the end. Wow, look at that one. Two in a minute, one, Joe. Oh, what a smack by Lewis in the back of the end. Wow, look at that one. Two in a minute one, Joe.

Oh, what a smack by Lewis in the back of the head. That's illegal. That's illegal. OK, he's throwing that shot. Oh, that was it. That was it. Oh, shit. And Lewis did not react well.

No, of course, then Lewis went back to his street days and fucking upstate New York. That was in the room for the payment. He got it. He turned real. I love it. Oh, he's not afraid. Jeremiah is not afraid. Lewis, you did not. Street days in fucking upstate New York Love it. Oh, he's not afraid Jeremiah is not afraid Lewis. You did not find well to that. Hello. Oh, why would you? That's the test of a cheap campaign. Oh Oh, and Lewis can't get him loses rage is blinding him. Oh, he can't get him. Who a little late there too, yes.

Fight. Here he got you twice. Wow, good. All right, put the fucking thing up. That's the upset of this century. You fucking smoking. That was Kirk Douglas. Michael Douglas.

What's the guys here again? You get high. Kirk, are we? No, it's a buster. It's your CBD. Buster Douglas. Don't smoke that. What do the guys? Get high. Is that weed? No, it's a... Buster. It's your CBD. Buster Douglas. Don't smoke that.

What do you do? It's your CBD relax. It's gonna make you calm down. You don't like me. What? You don't like... I love you. No, that was a test of our friendship.

What? That was a test of our friendship. Now I'm gonna drop this on the ground. If you drop that fucking CBD, that's helping you with this anxiety. Because you don't... This is not CBD. CBD this is this is fucking weed is it yeah And you're gonna let me have something you're gonna be through 34 years of sobriety down the fucking way and it would have been awesome Finally be funny again. No, I'm fucking the fucking stop don't drop it. I'm dropping it. Stop, don't drop, stop. Drop it, don't drop. I'm dropping it. Stop.

Why would you do that? Now it's over. Now no one gets to do it. Stop, stop, stop. Don't drop, stop, stop. Don't drop, stop, stop, stop. Don't drop, stop, stop, stop. Don't drop.

Gabby, now? No. Okay. No. What about just biting my bottom lip a little bit? Lewis is doing a great job of moving the topic away No. Okay. P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p- dog dog. All right, speaking of under doggy. I got to do my little read right here, guys. You actually know bottom was probably a sponsor on gas digital, too, but man's scape love man's cap. I fucking love a man. I'm so glad they finally came out. I used to have fucking nose hairs that just fell out of my nose and that little fucking leather pocket thing. And that the best. It's the best. I bring on the row of me. I have the scissors

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That was the, what's blue swav? Baby powder fresh. Baby powder and your nuts making a cake batter in a hot summer's day, it's stink. Not good. Bobby's always thinking about food. I am. You're putting, it's the worst, okay?

So having this bald yogurt is awesome. Cause your balls don't stink. Gabby. Yeah. If my balls were deodorized, would you make that with me? No. The perfect package also comes with a pair of Manscape box and briefs that I've worn. I like that keep you junk feeling fresh all day.

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Really? Yeah, they don't want a flower, you can't leave flowers. That's why you put a perfect package for men's capes, and said, you know, that guy who fucking send me dead. The guy takes whatever Grand Rapids he fucked me up with the singing I thought I was gonna stroke. Well just think it but you she You steal it off of Bobby's dad's grave. Yeah, take the trimmer shave your balls on to Bobby's dad's grave And at least leave your ball trimmings on Bobby say it again just Bobby's dad

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What is that, fuck? Wait, ¿qué hicimos eso? Bueno, ¿qué es el mejor? 19 euros. Volotea. Sarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. I want to plug the laugh button in this great pun, as one of the pun bros. It's a coaster that says drinks on us. That's a pun. Yeah, they gave us about you, those.

That's fun. Drinks on us. Oh, shit, we got this too, man. Oh, I'm excited. Hey, yeah, Gabby, do you have an iPhone charger? Somewhere in here? Yeah, right here. Thanks, Beck. I got the new, all right, another gift, fantastic.

What's the, we're doing a sale still, right? Christmas sale, one more week. How much, 20% off, correct? 20% off, remember to be happy. This just came in, the knot you says on the front, well, I like that sweatshirt. Now it's a pullover, right? Pull over your. Oh, no, you spelled your wrong. Just kidding. That's how we do that. On the back. It says not you. You can get these right now.

Remember to be happy.com along with the Buddha dude, which is selling. That's the most pop. Yeah, that's the most popular selling shirt. And I have the, what do I have? The YKWD? 20% off right now. Crucialkids.com tickets on sale. Crucialkids.com or creeps.tort.com. The fucking shows are packed out. The shows have been amazing. packed out. The shows have been amazing. Rich Voss hosting Jim Florentine, Ron Benetton, I'm closing them fucking and then we do a panel at the end, which is every night different. It's fucking hilarious. If you have any questions, go to cruise with kids.com. There's a form send them in. If you come around the shows, we'll ask them on stage. It's been the funnest fucking time I've had in

comedy. Bar none. Best tour I've ever been on. Usually there's a tour, some dickheads on it, someone's fucking it up. This, we had, I mean, from the second we get there, we have fucking with each other. It reminds me of back in the day, we're just fucking trash in each other,

having a good time. And then the show, nobody gives a fuck. Everybody's murdering, you can do whatever you want. Nobody the show, nobody gives a fuck. Everybody's murdering. You can do whatever you want. Nobody's fucking, nobody's walking up going, hey, can you not do this? Fuck off. Hey, this is kind of shut the fuck up.

Hey, I have a watch like that. Shut up. All the way, it was the last part. I was doing a fucking show once and someone had a watch. It, this is everybody's tour. It's not my tour and someone had a watch. It was, this is everybody's tour, something my tour is not wrong. It's all of our tours. Usually go on these tours, someone's the fucking guy. Right. Oh, the girl, this one nobody's doing well. Nobody's everybody's mediocre. I'm going to Bennington right after this. I can't, I can't

tell you how funny wrong Bennington is. I'm going there right after this. It's so hard to follow that fucking guy. When are you going to Bennington? Right after this. When are you going to? As soon as I'm done here, I go there. Yeah, it's a fun day. Right from here to there. Right, this show, then Bennington.

So funny. This week and we have where are we at? Friday, we're going to be at the Inglewood, New Jersey at the Bergen Performance Arts Center on Friday and on Saturday, at the Cogga Illinois at the patio theater. You should do Englewood LA, that's where the forum is. It's a good room. I did it twice with Louis.

Like I said, but this is... 14,000. Yeah, but that was his tour. This is our tour. Well, I kind of felt like it was my tour as well. Not really. Nobody knew you were there. I think me and Rachel find something really.

No, and by one ticket sale. Yeah. How many people hold you Rachel after the show? I didn't really get it, but it kills. So I guess I'm in the wrong. I don't even know. They don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't give a shit. No, just like whatever. Rachel. I got. I got. I was saying, was back. Picture me and Louis, Rachel.

Yeah. Hey, you know, he got a you too. You were there. No, you should be a comedian, not you to me too. And then yeah, thanks, Gabby. I think you're prettier than six, six and a half at least tonight. I said 11 Dutch boy. Go ahead.

I'll take that. So if you're watching on Sunday when this comes out to everybody, after Thanksgiving, Friday, you'll be at the Harris Pregnant, Pennsylvania, at the Whitaker Center. Oh, yeah, yeah. And Saturday, Rathway, New Jersey, at Union County, Performing Arts. Tor keeps going.

We just added... Grammacy? Oh! We just got to come to that. We just added... What the fuck is it? Tampa. Oh, nice.

And we have another one we're adding too. We got more shows. So I'm just like the tour was only supposed to be one show and then it was four. It was 14 16 now it's 18. The tour keeps getting bigger. People keep buying it. So I'm very excited when's the grammar thing March March something. Yeah, there you go. More where the odds of March, right? Uh, yep. March 14th. Yeah. I'll be there.

Good man, it's gonna be, if I can anybody come down. You guys can all come down. You can come out of the panel at the end. You got a kid. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there.

Yeah. What if I get my wife pregnant today? You can come. She'll be there. As long as it's 30 months pregnant. That's fine. When's a miscarriage? First trimester. So they have late miscarriages too. Well, that's fine. When's a miscarriage?

First trimester. So they have late miscarriages too. Well, that'd be a late one though, right? If she had one. Well, where can you tell people about the baby? After the first trimester. So what is that? How many months is that?

Well, is nine months, try is three. Well, try. Three. Okay, so. Try harder. Three, yeah. So three months should be fine. Yeah, and then we Okay, so try harder. Three, yeah. So three months, you'll be fine. Yeah, and then we could steal a border, I think,

in this state after the first try, I was just like, get on the show. Oh, in this state, you could have bordered up to three years old. Yeah, and then you can mix the baby. I never heard that bit. Why, why, why would you do that? I don't know.

I mean, you guys have put it. That was more political. We really get one, but it's fun, bros. And you're sort of, you know, I know that was an pun per se. Yeah, and he took some weed. He's a little out of it right now. He's chill. Luz is going again.

What are you writing them out for? The fuck Joe? The fuck Joe. Snitches get stitches. Yeah, man, you're going to slap right across the face. Snitches are mine. Don't get stitches if they know how to triangle. You can't triangle.

I guarantee you. I would bet everything in my pocket. Well, I could triangle you. My legs aren't fucking wide enough. Get that big neck in my head. Listen, that was just, I mean, I've heard that joke. Try to find an angle on Bobby's body. I mean, look, you can't get up with me. I'm gonna have a laugh.

Big of a laugh. I'm at laugh boss in this weekend. Thanksgiving weekend, the 29th and 30th. But God's sakes by a ticket. Jesus, you're begging. You're begging. I will kill myself. Stop begging.

I don't sell out one of the shows. I will take my own life. I'm begging. Oh God. I mean it. Well, you're begging Friday or early show Saturdays. How many shows are you doing? Three.

So I'm only doing three. So if I can't sell three shows at my own home town, I will literally, I'm not gonna quit. I'm gonna quit life. I'm gonna take my own life with in my own home town, I will literally, I'm not gonna quit. I'm gonna quit life. I'm gonna take my own life with a job. You should just get a job. I have a job. In Boston, if you don't sell out one of the shows this week,

you should stay. I'll go to Mike's Rose Beef and make chicken ponds. How good is that? They move. They're in the casino now. I'll be in White Plains comedy club this weekend. I saturday both shows are already sold out. But first I pick it's left for Friday.

I live in White Plains. Shouldn't you be in brown planes? Oh, I'm up. Who made that noise, Mike? Mike just shoved it in your fucking dumb throat. I just reminded me, I'm still mad about this. When fucking we were all this like nine years ago, it's like festering, I should probably do some step work.

But anyways, Kelly fucking Fistuka, we were trying to do a bit. Remember we were trying to get her to do a bit and she's like, we're like, just do a bit. And then I was like, tell you what, Kelly, fucking Fistuka, we were trying to do a bit. Remember we were trying to get her to do a bit, and she was like, we're like, just do a bit. And then I was like, tell you what, Kelly, I'll do one of my bits to make you feel better. And then I did it and she played a fucking cricket sound. Oh, that's great.

I'm still mad. The only funny thing Kelly's ever done. It was unbelievably funny, but I was like, trying to help her and she fucked me. I remember that, That was pretty funny. Yeah, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Hey, look at this.

We got to fly her back for a, why don't we do a live show at the VU with fucking kills? Fly, you want to spend $1,100 to get her back? Not me, you guys have money. So you want to fly Kelly back to do a show? Yeah, what about Gabby? Gabby, thanks. I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. Gabby,, life standup show to open up the night, right? You do like all the fucking guys,

and then we do a live podcast at the end. And that's a long show. What finishes thought? Don't fucking he's a G or you do two tickets. This is what you do. You do a live standup show in the beginning, Bobby Kelly, YKWD and friends, life standup show. Either she either show for 15, both shows for 20. Who's on the show? Who's on the standup? Just me doing an hour. Nobody else is on it. Gabby gets at the end. We can do that. The fat block. Hebly kiss me after she gives me flowers. A lot to give you flowers. Now, fuck, you're gonna give me a man's kit kit instead. Do you remember the first time we did a live podcast

at the V at the pussycat? Yeah, I sucked your dick in it, ruined my fucking tour life. No. No, we did one where Anthony was there. That wasn't it. That was the one upstairs where you came back off the podcast, you came back like a wrestler.

Remember, you came through the crowd and I videotaped and Kelly was there. I don't remember. Kelly remember Kelly was back on you don't remember that we got to do a live one Let the door evenly Sanders Fucking make some dough and we'll have a great time all right. You want to do a live with who's on it that we got Dan me Lewis and Dan you don't need anybody else we got we're close to a sell out here with all the fucking people lingering around You don't need anybody else. We got close to a sellout here with all the fucking people lingering around. I'm not making these idiots buy tickets.

We're like halfway to a sellout. Yeah, fuck it. The black guy over there. I'm so comfortable with him. I stopped watching him about half an hour ago. He's fucking just chilling, dude. Sounds like you're special. Stop watching a half hour ago. Run, boys. Stop watching a half hour ago Fun boys

Who isn't even a pun? Those are facts You're a fucking You try to you try to jam fat into fact check the facts Boy, yeah, I would do that. We should do that. Let's fucking do it. We gotta have fun. Yeah, we gotta have fun.

Okay, we have fun. But you know what's gonna happen? So does gonna be filming or taping. You're not gonna be able to do it. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. Planted advance, yeah.

Okay, so me, you Lewis Dan. Yeah. And then what about these turds? Yeah, we can be there. What about Mike? Who's Mike? Yeah, Mike it open. He can can be there. What about Mike? Who's Mike? Yeah, Mike and open. He could do the comment.

That's Mike. That's Mike. He does some stand up. Okay. You know, maybe you get seen by fucking, you know who's. Jews. Then we do the live.

Then we do the live up. Live up, rip it. Yeah. Yannis comes out, special guest to something. Okay, Yannis, that is. He used to come out all the time. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah, Yannis. Nobody had it. Remember, I mean, know what that is. He used to come out all the time. Yeah. Remember that?

Yeah, nobody had it. Remember, no, I mean, it was just me. Lewis had his, what was the call back then? You and Dave were doing it. Hammer Fisting with Lewis. Hammer Fisting. It was just, you had Hammer Fisting. You had no podcast.

Dan had no podcast. It was just YKWD for like a little minute there. And then we all just, we improved upon the idea and just, now some of us, you can't bigger and better. Some of us. A bit of a long time. Hammer fisting, how's that doing? I gave it to these guys and, you know,

they just really dropped the ball. Who'd you give it to? Give it to, you know, some of the interns and Tinkle was on it for a minute and. You gave Hammer fisting away. I haven't seen Tinkle in a long time. Yeah, I'm sure he's doing fine. My first episode was March of 2012, I've been on this show for fucking eight years. Eight years, man. Yeah.

My first podcast ever was Nate and Yannis's podcast. What was that called? Oh, yeah. October of 2009, literally 10 years. What was that? It was called, uh, it could be better. I forgot about that with Chris Laker. Yeah. they knew about your special back then. You should have named That was good. That's good. That was very good. I Just want to say this. The special is great by the way, well, I have to get his game press offer for I think it's important to say that the special is great. It is really good. It's it's good. It's very good. I wouldn't use great. I would say good. I would I would watch that special in my wife. What'd you think? I'd be like, good. Well, can I say if Tony

the tiger described you to be like, it's good. Michael wants to say something. Can I say a couple weeks ago? We had, oh, fuck, he's now you made him nervous. Now he's gonna say something. No, no, it's about last couple weeks ago where people were being really annoying about not getting opportunities. Yeah. And one of the things that I didn't get the same.

Hang on one second, can you take your dick out so we can jerk you off in front of everybody? Good. Oh, Hill, go do it. Go do it. Yeah, do it, dude. We've already made up. Do it, jerk,k off the microphone.

Like it's dead. I better look in the Gabby. As a girl. But. Wow. Go ahead. It's okay. Go ahead.

Jerk, look at yourself. You just made it yourself. That's what I'm saying. You made what? You made your own tour. You made it yourself. You made it yourself. You made it yourself.

You made it yourself. You made it yourself. You made it yourself. You made it yourself. You made it yourself. You made this side. Kind of like this. Yeah, thank you. Tommy got, Tommy's nervous because we called him out and he was about to, because he got nervous because you like getting him off Skankfest. He's not gonna take you off Skankfest.

No, he's not gonna get me off Skankfest. You know what I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really,

I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, I can't really, What? Yeah. You're not a skank fan. Shut up, Joe. I'm a, uh, you're not either. I have not shut the fuck up, everyone. I got a whole lot of it. Here's the thing. When fucking people book or don't book me, you got to write fucking don't talk about this.

I was talking about Soda's special fucking nine years ago. I'm talking about skank. Sounds wedding. I was fucking just a struggle. I gave up the address to where we were going. I was that wedding. What wedding? That's how's wedding.

You mean super single self and the practical jokers. I was at his 25th birthday last week on it. How was it? It was great. Awesome wedding. Nice this wedding. I've ever been to by leaps and bounds. So should I not talk about being at the skankfest?

You're not at skankfest. You went to Joe's wedding. I did go to Joe's wedding. It was nicer than Joe's wedding. Joe's wedding was a fucking nightmare. I thought Joe's was, I thought it was good, especially the service. No, that food was great. The food, I mean, what about the O'Dorff party before that, that was fun. That was killer. Adorves. What a joke. What the fuck is an old war? No, guys, I'm not doing that. Now I don't know how to say it adorves.

Yeah, but he just really. I do say it adorves adorves adorves adorves adorves adorves. He fucked it up for every word or durve. Nana call it beer for Midget. Oh, adorves. What is it? Nana call it. Now he's just laughing.

And I think I'm a door. Good. We know what you're doing. Oh, do or dwarves. What is it? Nana call it now he's just laughing at anything. I was not thinking of a door. Good. I'm gonna give you. We know what you're doing. You have fucking climber. I, uh, oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh I don't even know what you're saying. Hungry now though. I'm starving. You don't want to eat so badly. What? And I have a habit of asking. I love to eat Gabby's ass.

I bet it's awful. I bet it's awful. I bet our ass is the worst part of our body. No. No, her face is worse. Her face stinks. What is this? What's happening?

It's okay. That's best. It's okay. Yeah, she's pretty. She's got a pretty good size. She's pretty. She's got a pretty good size. I'm gonna eat. I'm gonna eat. She would be, she's pretty. She's got a pretty, she's got a smile. She's pretty. I'm gonna eat.

I'm gonna eat and above. She would be, she's a six. You're not. A half, you're fucking not. The black guy's not an ideal. How much do you weigh? What, 127? It's healthy.

Five. Yeah, but she's mushy. She's a little fat, but that's for sure. No, what? She's mushy. I have a six pack. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. You don't have Let me say, no, you don't. Yeah, I do. You don't have a six pack.

No. No, you don't. Now you can say that. Anybody can say that when you're not going to shut up. I got one too. I have a six pack. I got an eating dick. That's not true.

You have a six pack on my dick. You have a five and a half inch dick. Five and three quarters and six. If it's the first time I'm a fucking to check. Wait, you guys are meant to be. Your dick's five and three quarters, and your face is five and three quarters. Bang!

Wow, your dick should meet that. Debbie, you want me to defend you to these heathens, but you won't even make out with me. If you were my girlfriend, I'd be fighting these guys right now. Here's the thing. Usually just kiss him so he can be this up for the bit. For the bit, Debbie.

Yeah, just for the bit. Debbie, what happened? I mean, think you wanna date. Let's go out on a date. No. Why? Wait, so I will pay it this up for the bit. For the bit, Gabby. Yeah, just for the bit. Gabby, what happened? Let me think you want to date. Let's go out on a date. No. Wait, I will pay for this date. Just wait one second.

Wait, stop, hear me out before you say no. You're single, correct? Jesus Christ. I usually stop. Are you? He's a fat. Stop it! Let me handle this.

He's a fat. He's a fat. He's a fat. He's a fag. He's a fag. He's a fag. What is his name? What is his name? What is it rhyme with? What is his name? Beget.

He's a comic? Oh wow. Listen. Is it soda? No. Gabby. Oh, I wish. Who is this guy? If I, I'll set you up at a nice restaurant, you meet at the restaurant. I'll pick the restaurant. No, I'll pick.

No, I'm paying for it. Oh, I'll pay for it. I'll pay for it. I'm gonna pay for it. I'll pay for it. I'll pay for it. I'll pay for it. That's a guy who likes it.

That's a fucking feminist idiot. I'm paying for the fucking day. You're the way to start the day. This is why you give. Fuck you to asshole. I'm patting for the fucking day. You're the way to start the day. This is why you give. Fuck you to asshole. I'm gonna pay for my own shit. Shut up. Jesus, Lou, let me handle this.

I'm gonna hold the fucking door for you. I'm gonna fucking be a gentleman, all right? I'm gonna pay for the shit. Shut your face, you feminist idiot. Let's go on a date. You're not paying your dumbass. Oh, fucking gentleman. I'm a gentleman.

I'm a gentleman. Shiblery has not been forgotten. You really? You're no good of a date, I am, by the way. Do you have any idea how good of a date I am? Please tell me. I fucking, I will pick an amazing restaurant. I love good food.

Okay. Do you drink? Do you drink? You're not a vegan, are you? Yeah. I can't do it her breath probably smells You're a vegan all right fine. I'll get a good vegan place. Oh my god. Okay, so you get a good vegan place Then what and I'll be vegan that I don't even have me in my breath if you go to maybe Brian vegan should show up All right mate

I got with Reagan last week. That's never here. No,, you with Louis? No, I was with myself and Brian Reagan. Reagan told them to tell, not telling him where he was hanging out with Louis. What? Reagan told Joe to tell. I got it. I figured it. All right.

Gabby, it's a bit you fucking idiot. Stop treating her violently. She's not a dog. Treat her like a woman. Come here. Treat her like a woman. Can here, come here. Come here, come here. Treat her like a woman. Can you try for me right now? Try being a gentleman right now.

I can only be a... I'll try right now. Ask her on a date as a gentleman. I need sexy music. Okay, sexy music. And I... Crown. Why is there a fucking crown?

Because you're a king. I film this yeah, you're a king And I'm not crown there's no reason for you want to queen put the crown on Oh, she tells you I like that's hot I'm not going to say that. Louis literally doesn't know what to say. There he does. He's thinking, let him get into it. Hey slut. Not you low. What? Try again.

Some women like being... She doesn't. She wants to be treated like a woman. Pick down. She want to be respected. She wants to be respected. Let's go. Talk to her. What's up, girl? She wants to respect it. Let's go talk to her Sup girl My name's Lewis Jay Gomez Boy if I got a date for you I

Don't know why I'm talking with a Southern accent right now But I'll tell you if you come out with me this Friday night you 8.75. I'm fucking talking here. Turn around. Let me see what you got working with. What's your name? Can you just put out your tongue and open your mouth real wide? No. A gentleman, not a rapper from Atlanta. Do a gentleman. Can you do a gentleman?

No. Try. No, actually, I am a gentleman. I can't be a gentleman. I try. On reporting. Be you as a gentleman. Look at her.

Look at her as a woman. As a fine young woman. Say hello. Hi. Hey, Gabby. Hi. We should go out this weekend. I don't think so. Don't turn me fucking down. Jesus Christ. Or we will have problems. Gabby, just play with them. Gabby, I will hurt you. No, because I can't say yes, because he'll consider that a yes.

It will not be a yes. This is all this is acting. This is acting. Just go with what he says. Try again, he was doing a good job. See? Go ready? I'm in character. You're in character. No one who's not me.

Hang on one sec. Hang on. Wait. This isn't me right now. Okay. Hey, what's up Gabby? I was just wondering. My name's not Gabby.

Sorry. Gabby. We see, shut up Gabby. Look at me., we see shut up. She's a fucking nigger. Look at me. She's a real nigger. Look at me. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Easy. Relax. I said nigger. You're scaring me now. What are you saying? What? Gabby, go with it. Just go with it. Go with it. Would you?

Hey, Gabby. Hey. Not only want to go on a date with a so unfun. Just go with it. Gabby, we go out with me this weekend. Where? I was expecting you to follow. Actually, this bitch is good. I think it may be a little French restaurant.

Say something in French. Getting that suck on your pussy. No. No. No. Say something in French. Um, can I suck on your pussy? No. No. No. Who sucks a pussy? Joe, this is how we know Joe doesn't have a fucking give head.

You got to suck on that pussy, little doggy. Are you staying character, please? I am in character. Don't talk to another guy. You're talking to her. Bro, look at this fucking bitch over here. What do you think? I think she's okay People to ask her how you don't think it's worth it. I don't know. I don't know

Joe, will you try to ask Gabby on a day? Joey, I would do well. This is how it's it. I think I would do well Gabby, you're really nice. And I don't know. I know I'm not as good looking or as attractive as Lewis and I don't have all these muscles, but I'm a nice person and I really like you. And I wonder if we could just have a date,

have a dinner and see where it goes if you enjoy it. Not the no expectations. It's sad that Soda canceled this episode. Cause then he would have gone after. I listen. I'd be like, yeah, totally. When do you want to?

I don't know. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this.

I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I don't know for this. I's literally giving real answers. Ha ha ha nice. Pund, pun, pun buddy.

Some pun bros. Listen to me. What? We know, we know the reality is, okay? We're playing. See how they're all playing. And then you're giving real answers. Eeeh, eeeh, eeeh, eeeh, eeeh, eeeh, eeeh, eeeh,

you're not funny. Okay. Be- Oh. It's not that you're not funny. It's that you It's not that you're not funny. It's that you're not being funny. Not being funny. Yeah. Joe, I'll go on to do it.

Thank you. That's too late, the music's over. You know, that was too little bit. It would have been the perfect funny thing if you went, I would go on a date with you, Joe. Then he would be flip out and he would say, thank you would be end of the bit. No, it's her yelling, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, you have to do it. You have to do it. I love this thing, it's love, it's thanks. But she is more funny than you're fucking a bit killer. She's more funny than you. She's a, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're still in the bit, because she is now, she's a second. Do you think she's great naked? No. No, I don't think. You think it falls apart. You're crazy.

I can't think of her naked because she's more like a daughter to me, because I'm friends with her dad, and she's nine. Fuck yeah. And, I think if I saw her naked, I would rather see, it would be very similar to Ryan Hamilton. No, I have a great body. You don't? You don't?

Do you have a can we see a bikini shot at least? No, I don't want to see a bikini shot. Why? Sometimes if you look really close, you can see some pubes. Oh God. She doesn't have pubes. Look at her. She's white.

Do you think she shaves them all down? I think every she lets this a girl in. She's never grown in yet. She's fucking 10. Stop talking about pubes. What? I don't want grow and in yet she's fucking 10. Stop talking about pubes. What? I want to talk about Gabby's pubes. Moving into your manuscript trimmer. All right, well, listen, this has been a fantastic part of ending it. Remember one Bobby used to be motivated. We used to do like a three hour show. This is how we do it. I gotta go to

Venetian right after this. You say that every time it takes a half hour to when we go through all the bullshit, stoop it. Yeah, I gotta eat something. Yeah. Oh, that's what I was gonna tell you, I was gonna eat today. What? Pop by chicken sandwich. Where is it?

I don't know, I'm gonna go get one of 14 street, you wanna go? I can't. I never had it. I wanted to do it, but I can't do it now because I'm on a no carbs for a til Thanksgiving. Same here, Doug. Low carb. I'm on a no carbs for until Thanksgiving. Same here, Doug. Low carb.

I'm on a no carb. Nice. I ate a salad yesterday, I was so depressing. You gave me on a no carb, that's low carb. Why can't I be on a no carb? The salad is all carb. The salad has carbs. But no, you know what I mean?

No chicken, no bread. Low. No chicken's on a carb either. No bread, the bread. Who does? Yeah, low. Yeah, that's bad carbs. No bad carbs. You're doing us refined

What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, you're doing what I take a simple wadi a fucking drive mouth. I'm fine. What were you saying? I'm doing this I don't need water Gabby needs water That doesn't make sense. I mean it does Lewis's lips are purple. He's like, he's dead. My lips are Gore just might we've already done this. My lips are way better than you. Yeah, we did it. John last year was a whole and I fucking won hands down. Yeah, hands down lips. I'm

not saying you have better lips than Joe. Yeah. Well, my got burned yesterday. No, that's actually what it looks like. It looks like you were in a fire and your lips were burnt off. But I don't get this. I'm so bad. Like fire marshal. I was I wanted I wanted it on that so bad. I was like, I feel like Jarvan. Yeah, you really do have an upper lip.

It's just like a mountain like this. I dude, most white men have no upper lip. I got an upper lip. He's got Bob Kelly's got an upper lip. Pull up like Tom Broca. Look at this fucking sexy fucking bearded lip fucking asshole. Look at Zack's got an upper lip. I'll say in most.

Look, he's got a white. There's seven guys in this room, okay? And then the black guy, those fucking lips. Wow, that's a holy shit. There's four white guys in the room. Yes? What do you mean there's one, two? Oh, you mean white? Wow, that's a holy shit. There's four white guys in the room. Yes. What do you mean there's one, two? Oh, you mean white?

How many men are in the room? Four white, white. Six and three fifths? Yeah, this is a very diverse group we have here. We do. I cultivate that. Yeah, look at Tom Broca. Now he's got no upper lip.

Look at that. That's a guy with no lip. Yeah, he has a puppet mouth. Joe, that he has better lips than you. You're insane. He literally has no lip. Look at he has a puppet mouth. Joe, that he has better lips than you. You're insane. He literally has no lip. Look at your lips are as thin as that, except you're also, you're just like purse like you're kissing.

No, he has a better everything else than Joe, but I think Joe has better lips. Yeah, but everything else, he's absolutely better than you. Of course, no argument here. The best time I ever trashed Joe ever, I said his mouth looked like a dog at dog's asshole. Yeah, well, it's fun. Bringing up one good line. Yeah, yeah, I don't think you should do that I remember the time I had a good line on the podcast

772 it was one of the best one hell of a podcast. Was that the name? All right, listen, Louis We got to figure this thing out where we're gonna go because it matters. Yeah, figured out right now It's really good. I would I would like to do that. I would like to do the, because I think that's why we get it. It's the best tradition I ever do. I mean, the camping thing was good too, though. Camping was a ton of fun. You got to get a tent. All right, dog. We're going to fucking 10 shame, man, in front of the whole fucking crew.

I'm not 10 shame. There you are. I gave you the thing on the tent. You got to get it. Will you get it? I don't camp enough to purchase the tent. Well, you, I got a small tent. It only fits me in max now. What happened to your bigger tent? I'm not bringing that.

It's too big. I'm selling it. Let me use that. I'm selling it. Are you trying to just sell me a fucking tent? This whole time you piece of shit. Yeah, you need a tent. I got a tent for sale.

You should buy it. You want to buy it? If you guys go camping together, it piece of shit. I mean, you need a tent. I got a tent for sale. You should buy it. You want to buy it? If you guys go camping together, it will be intense. Humbros. Humbros. Humbros. I like it. I like it.

That was a fucking great one. It would be intense. Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah. Anyways, all right, so what do we go to Europe or we go down, what if we go to Florida? How are you guys making this kind of money? The keys!

Let's go to the keys. I'm rich. I feel like I'm running out of money and I'm better than you guys at everything. Not better than making money. Yeah, hey, we'll talk off there about your money. Okay, here's the thing, I'm way more successful comedian than you

and he is a more successful businessman. I get 300 emails a day saying, where's my shirt from fucking merch pump? I know, don't you guys. Rich. They're the worst. I left. He's wealthy.

Merch pump is terrible. Merch pump is terrible, guys. They make great shirts. They make great shirts, but you can't get them. Merch is terrible. podcastmerch.com, however, is a brand new business that we launched. Yeah, you know what, right?

I got, I got, I got, but I'm on merch pump. Why don't you put me on the other one? Well, because it's terrible though. You mean you made it terrible. You wouldn't do fucking shirts. People are sitting there. I will say this, and this would happen.

We launched a brand new Legion of Scanchart. We relaunched a website we had to hurry to brand new manager. It was all these things at the same time. And we should have told you know that we should have done a new shirt for you in that month. And we fucked was it was a three week period where the we were having issues with the orders getting out But that's all mind us everyone's fucking orders are out. We are fucking money. We're back. I'm trying my orders on out You know how I got people fucking bitching about the shirt. What's shirt? You follow orders? You have a lot in order. Oh, sorry. I'm over here now

Yeah, you're with you with back You're with Becky. Who do you have? Wait, Becky, you do something? Yeah, she did. Switch to Becky. Where's my hoodie? Look at this, dude. Look at this.

Feel that. Alright. Feel that hoodie, dude. Oh, nice. Nice. Look at this shit. Love this. And look.

Feel this one. This is gap. They put the thing on the bottom here. Nice. So it kind of folds under. I like that. That's good. Oh, it's such good quality and 20% off this month. Becky, by the way, considerably hotter than Gabby. Oh my god. I hit us again. Like, other not even in the same ballpark. I agree. I would actually, I'm gonna hand you up from Mike first. Gabby all of a sudden, turning down Lewis the whole time, but doesn't want to hear from Lewis who he thinks moves more tracks. Gabby's something, there's some spark.

I mean this. I think it's a spark. If I wanted to go on a date with Gabby and Wu, you could force her. I could fucking, he could could physically he could do it. But then we'd have to he'd go to jail too far too far. You are too far. So he felt threatened and it was too far. I would never times up.

Your time's up. Go ahead. It is. I could if I want to take Gabby out, I could just fucking I could wear. You think you think that's true, Gabby? I think you should be woo. I could woo Gabby and convince Gabby

to go on a date with me. And by the end of the date, she would be entranced and she'd make out with me. She'd be entranced. It would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a,

it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a, it would be a,

I could just, I could, I could wear, I could wear. You think, you think, you think, you think, you think that's true, Gabby, I could be, I could be, I could be, I could be, I could be, I could, right? Yeah, I think she plays, look, she's on, her character on the show was this uptight fucking prudent. No, it's actually not her character, yeah, but. She's actually pretty cool and free. I mean, she's a bit killer. She's awful. Awful, bad aim, bro.

Yeah, she's just terrible at it. She just does her own, she goes left and we're like, I'll go in this way and she'll go, I'm going to go this way. I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, oh, he started doing it again. She just takes it out of the left. So Becky's technically prettier than Becky. I would say a bit murderer.

She didn't just kill it, she fucking murders it. I'd say Becky, yes, Becky, totally interesting, kind of weird hot. Becky's hot as shit. Yeah, you'd meet her at like the mall. Her body's right at all. Right. Right.

Right. But, if she's got that hot story about how she broke her Hyman when she was like 10 on a balance beam doing gymnastics, which is one of the most jerkable stories that I've ever heard in my entire life. That's fucking weird. Hot. You jerk to that. Yeah. I've ever heard of my entire life. That's fucking weird. Hot, you jerk to that.

Yeah, I'm like blood in my jerking. Yeah, nor falling. Yeah, getting hurt. Or ten years. Yes, or ten years. Yeah, there's all that doesn't make sense to me. No, that's cool, but. Jesus, Joe.

What, call back, I'm gonna call that. I got a new movement called Too Much. You made the black guys leave in that. Oh shit. No, it is supposed to show up late, not leave early. Basers and Miro starting. I, I, I, I bet you couldn't. What?

Take, she would at the end of the day literally just walk away from you. Don't hesitate at the end of the day. Gab, you don't think that I'm fucking way better than you? Are you crazy? At what? Like, she's just like in life where we're at. But can I tell you something? She's a beautiful singer.

She knows how to play piano. Yes, you sing very good. She plays a bunch of instruments. She's highly intelligent. She went to college. She's highly intelligent. I'm gonna say me. I'm not saying her.

Bidipu. Skibid say me. I'm not saying her. It's give me to put down. I'm gonna have a go. I hope I do. Oh, the black guys back. I just you summoned some with that talk. Jimmy do do do do. But I beat Bob Bob.

We beat Bob Bob. Terrible person. What? So I'm at for Puerto Rican. Yeah, me too. Um, past egg. Yeah, she's past egg. She is she is is she doesn't think about Gabby's tag. There's so much.

I think about her. Like I just asked. Hashtag hashtag. I like hashtag. She is a good episode. A lot of L.P.A. Uh, loves her. She she, uh, she's really.

You are ripped. You wonder why black people show up late all the time? They're flaky. I just made that up. That's not bad. I just made that up. That awesome racist joke. I just made that up.

Wow. You should put it in your next special. Lewis Gomez has to present again. Luke, take it. Here comes where you shot. There's Jay. Don't let my test. Sorry. I apologize. I like the. The J. I like everybody. I remember you waiting though when I went Lewis Gomez and you went, yeah, it was fun. He heckled my wedding. I did that intentionally though just to see how committed Lewis was fully committed. It was fun. Sarah's parents were thrilled.

They talk about it all the time. That's great. I'm good. I remember that uh the oldie rural person that was at that wedding yelled out in the middle of it. Where are you performing? Uh, I will be this weekend at White Plans Comedy Club. Now I live up there. Where is this? I've heard of this new comedy club. White Plans. In downtown White Plans. Sure. A fucking amazing restaurant down there that I'll give you. One of my favorite restaurants in the world in white pants. White cat, right in white pants. Gab, are you gonna go there?

It's so good. Come on, Gab. Gab, you open up for me this weekend. Hey, listen to me, Pax Romano. It's fucking amazing. You'll show up early, go over there. Two old ladies make the pasta on Tuesdays. It's one of the

best restaurants. Find out how to get kicked out of this place. Scream at these poor old women. It's on Waller by Mama Rhodes' sons. Okay. Yeah. I know where it is. Yeah. That ain't got a lot of stuff coming. Me and Metzger are going on tour. We're going to be in Kalamazoo. How's that tour? How are you guys doing? Don't great. Yeah. How are you guys getting along? Go find him. He knows, he knows his place at this. What the fuck does that mean? He knows not to cross that fucking line again. What's the line?

The, the line of, you know, no, justice. Are you the justice? The line of justice. That was, that explains those glasses. Yeah. Did you get that? Those are justice school. They're beauty justice class.

Thank you, Michael. Oh, wow. Hey, Gabby, can we can't blame you for that bit being killed? Thank you. Kiss me. Okay. Kiss. Oh, you're done. What else you get coming up? Uh, yeah, we got a bunch of stuff coming up.

We're going to be embossed in San Francisco, San Diego, all over the place. Go to Louis, show you on this, Louis, show you on this dot com. Obviously Skankfest, South is happening March 27th through 29th. I'll be there. I'm on it. I'll be there. Maybe whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no one is you got Louise on it. No one's been in the house. Showing up. Listen to me, motherfucker. You got Rogan. That's the big one. Listen to me. That's cool. Skankfest.net. Take us go on sale this summer.

Ninth. We're already laying up. I just get him. I just that any Murphy thing is crazy. Yeah. That's nuts. But you got the like Arsenio is going to be there. That's nuts.

Yeah. Who else? Pund Bros. Pund Bros. We're going to get a shirt. We're going to get a graphic made with the fun bro Scott. Brom bros. Yeah, a lot of other stuff coming up. We just can't survive at the comedy store New Year's Eve.

We're gonna be there for two shows. I'll be in that too. It'll be a lot of fun. Yeah, just go to my website, Lucia Gomez presents Lucia Gomez.com. You guys can still buy that special. The one that everyone's been talking about. And remember, dark horse special of the year when people are asking for your comedy special

of the year. Remember, Louis Shagomers presents Louis Shagomers. The only one out there, guys, the only one that matters anymore. Joe, I know you know, you don't matter anymore, but what do you get going on this weekend? This comes out Monday. Yes. Sunday. Sunday.

If you're Patreon.com slash Robert Kelly Thursday You they get all the audio and the video first. Are you to pre-release for subscribers? I always do. Yeah, that's weird Yeah, where's your that idea? Your mama? Laf Boston November 29 and 30 release It'll fucking with Lewis Good November 29 to 30th laugh Boston this weekend, we got one show Friday, come to the early show, Sad, I wanna pack that son of a bitch out for God's sakes,

and then Hilarities in Cleveland, December 5th through the seventh, and then Houston for my own show at, what's it called? With Skainkfest. Skainker group. Sikker Group. Sikker Group, December 21st. I'm doing Lafayette at the point.

They have a club there now, other than the improv. Yeah, the Sikker Group. It's been a club for a long time. It's a killer. Yeah, it's awesome. It's like a rubber-dum-and-skankfest. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, so I'll be there.

How many seats? It's big. The big room has like 300, the smaller room, like a book, 20. Yeah, it's killer. Because I've been looking to go, you know, I haven't played using that improv I don't play. No, it's an urban room. Do secret group, Andrew Youngblood, great guy, great spot.

And then I may or may not be back there in March. And then I'll be, You're gonna be there, it's Kangfest in March. I'll be at, He's not, Moon Tower in April. I'm a Moon Tower, baby. Fuck yeah, let's blow each other. Will you do our live pod?

Creeps with kids at Moon Tower just announced. Forget about that. Fuck yeah. Creeps with kids and I'm gonna be there at Moon Tower. Oh, never mind, we'll get to Boston, Bennington. I didn't realize that. There we go. Um, yeah.

And of course, Tuesdays with stories every Tuesday. Funny as podcasts on the planet. Earth. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch two days with stories every Tuesday, funniest podcast on the planet earth. Uh, patreon.com. Uh, you guys are great. The, uh, the, what was the ass Bobby question thing? You guys responded to real good. We're going to do that again. Uh, this week, we have a few more questions. You print them out. Yep. Awesome. We're going to do that at the end of the show patreon.com. You get the live from the shed. Uh, I shed. I got Norton's doing the next episode. I got Mike Calta in the can. And I also have,

I'm gonna get Bonnie McFarlane to do it. I asked her, she said, yeah, so I'm very excited about that. And then, and I have a special guest that I'm gonna get up there too. Actor. Yeah, what's up? It's me. I said actor. I act. You don't act. I act in today up there too. Actor. Yeah, what's up? It's me.

I said actor. I act. You don't act. I acted today on the show. All right. What did you, wait a minute, let me just set him up. What did you act? I acted with Gabby.

We did a little back and forth where we were acting like we're gonna go on the date. That's sweet that you thought he had something. I did. I thought he had something. I got a piss. Can I pee? Is that all right? No. I did. I thought he had something. I got a piss. Can I pee? Is that all right?

No, you guys be able to do your pee. Please go boss and support him. I'm gonna try and go Lewis right now. Gabby, what do you got? Gabby, what do you got? I have a podcast called Unabashed Podcast. I'm in Vermont next week. Sunday Monday, Tuesday, and then Wednesday

I'm at Vermont Comedy Club. And then I have a new show at the stand called Our Time of the Week. December 3rd, 7pm. What does that mean? Yeah, it's time of the week, like a period. Yeah. She bleeds weekly.

It's disgusting. I got that idea from Lewis, because he was like, you should start a monthly called our time of the month, and then we're trying to do a weekly call. Say, say, so now you should kiss me, because I gave you a fucking dope idea. No. What about some little, little, little, little, little.

I'm gonna say this, if I find out a couple years from now that you guys hook up and you don't tell me, I'll never talk to you again. If this shit is working and it breaks you down and you- Look at me, that will never happen. Okay, but I've been there before. No offense. I've been there before with Kelly Vistuka.

Bobby, I never got anybody. Literally hot, dance soda. I've been like this. Don't even make me fucking prove that I could fucking get you going to date with me and make out with me. Are you crazy? That's the uphill battle here. I mean, I got a seven year old son

that I look on the face every day and I see James, you know what? Anything is possible in the world. This one I said, everything's done. Anything you want in life, it's right there for the taking. All you need to do is you need to come up with a plan and figure out the path to it. Do you think making out with fucking Gabby is there's no path to that. That's it. That's the uphill battle. You think I'm gonna tell my son that he can't do. You think you're gonna stand in the way of my son as a better chance of making out with Gabby than you do. My son could eat Gabby's asshole right now. I turn my head on. All right.

Mike, what do you got? I'm back. Sorry for leaving guys. The show probably sucked while I was peeing, but I'm here. It's DJ Joe. Follow the guys. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.

DJ Joe and his furriers. What? With the black guy go. I'm sorry. With dark web go. Shit. Okay. Fucking check it.

He's robbing the cellar right now. Follow Bobbie on Instagram at Robert Kelly live, follow the podcast at YKWD. All my videos from the tour are going up on Instagram and Facebook. Oh, I'm loving them. Instagram first. I got a bunch more coming up this week. Chicago's this week. I got videos from that the Pimp guy, what's his name?

Almost Pimp. Almost Pimp. He's very good. He's very good. He's great. We got a bunch of stuff from him and releasing and then this weekend I have another guy coming down for Chicago plus all this shit I got going on.

So there you go. Follow me at Mike Beuth-Worres on Thanksgiving weekend. I'll be at Gotham with Chris and Stephanie. Are you coming to my house for Thanksgiving? Yes. What about you? You want to bring James for Thanksgiving? My house?

No. Why? I don't like you house for Thanksgiving. Yes. What about you? You want to bring James for Thanksgiving? My house? No. Why? I don't like you. Oh. That hurt. No, I'm good. That hurt. No, but that hurt.

I'm doing thanks to my house. Well deal with what I'm saying to you. That hurt. I opened up. I was kidding. Yeah, no, but I love you. I love you. I love you more.

I love you just to say. Do you hate me? I love you more. What a rude thing. No, I liked it. I actually like it. I love you more. No a rude thing. No, I liked it. I actually like it because he got me It's rude. He raised the stakes rude. No, he raised the stakes in I'll be love stakes With butter Cocks suckers. I'm gonna get thin again. That's the nice thing about Keto. You can eat steaks with butter. That's right

Um, and I'll be at laugh out loud in San Antonio with Paul Verzi the six through the eighth. Oh two brothers. Yeah Right, we're both not met. What? Of course, Becky and Chris, you guys are always here. Does, Becky does all the, she has a lot of photos for us, but she also does all the merch for us too. She also shakes that ass a lot. Oh, thanks.

How sexy. She could follow me in a few men's places that use a three on Instagram. If you want to see stand-up comedy photos, what about if Becky and Gabby? Amazing photographer. Deeply. Amazing photographer. Guys, kiss. Gotta give her a kiss on the cheeks.

No. She's. You want the kiss on the cheek? What? What? Gabby, you prude. What am I? What's your problem?

She's staked. I'm not gonna see that. I'm gonna make that with him. I'm gonna make that with him. I'm gonna make out with him. You don't have to kiss anybody, but it's Becky. You're a bit murderer. You're a bit killer. That's not a bitch. That is a bit. I'm not a bit. If you kissed her on the cheek, that's not a bit.

How great would be a Becky just turned her face though and sort of licking her? I'm with Gabby on this one. The only bit would be if she made out with everyone but Lewis. All right, I agree. All right. Chris, what do you got besides great hair? Thanks Lewis. All right, I agree. All right. Chris, what do you got? Be said great hair. Thanks, buddy.

Yeah, you're a handsome guy. Thanks, man. Looks like a vampire a little bit. He looks like a guy from evil nine. What was that? What's that movie, Michael? Brooklyn 999. How evil 911?

What is the evil 919 Reno 911? Type it up. Oh, what Fahrenheit 911? The kid from Friday. Who's the guy from fright night. I you can follow me at not that. Genie C H E N E Y cast of Frank night original.

He's a yes. He's a gay point. Star. Yeah. I understand that's who he looks like. He's a little vampire. He did like a five minute. You were a vampire at night.

Stephen go Stephen. Go that now go 20 was younger. Hell yeah, dude. Images. There we go. Yeah, you look just like Steve. I to when he was younger. Hell yeah, dude. Images. There we go. Wow. Yeah, you look just like Steve. I can't see it, but I'm with it.

That's so true. What's his name? He was hot. What? Is there a microphone over there? You think that's hot? Even Jeffries. Stephen Jeffries.

Now, here's the thing with him. I'm watching late night TV one night. All of a sudden, hey, what happened to them? This little web show comes on. And I was like, you remember the movie, Friday night? The boy, he showed a bunch of movies he was in. He was on his way to being a regular star. And they cut to him on roller skates with a headband.

And he roller skates in the room, pulls his pants down. I was like, yeah, give it to me in my ass. He's a gay porn star. I mean, and just taking it deep. It's guys the man. Typing, typing his name, gay porn. Well, one of his gay porn star. I mean, and just taking it deep. It's guys them. Yeah. Typing, typing his name, gay porn. Well, one of his gay porn. He looks like Michael J. Fox and the left.

In fact, you know what? Just typing gay porn. You know what? Let's just watch some gay porn. It's what a full gay porn. Is one of jerk offs from gay porn? Gabby leave. Can you do that bit murder? You fucking asshole.

You won't even fucking do that. Really? You don't even leave for the bit. You won't even fucking do that, will you? You won't even leave for the bit. There we go. Anyways, Zach, who is this guy? Just a fan, right? He's training.

You're training? Yeah. Oh, I love it. Now, what's he training? To be Zach. Really? Okay, hi, buddy. What's your name?

In the microphone, you already fucking up. Did you make him grow the bit? Andre, where are you from? New Rochelle. Oh, I'm up there too. Yeah. That's great dude. Now you a sound guy?

Oh yeah. Okay cool. Are you working for the company? Yeah, at the seller I guess. Okay great. All right, well nice to see you buddy. That's me. Hey, can you fix your personality?

Yeah. Right over. Give us some sort of, just something, just a little bit of a spice. I love having you guys on. I missed you, Lou. It was fun. Missed you, Joe.

Yes. Thank you for loving you guys around, man. It reminds me of the old days. It was great. I was thinking about that the other day. We used to just do this. I mean, nobody was just us, us four. And, and of course, Kelly, us five, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was no like loser

hangers on, you know, what do you talk about? It's where the room like it. We had just the small, we had a curtain going up over there. We had a couch and a little butcher block table. Yeah. That was it. I was all boozed up. And we would come in and we'd be all cramped up. It would be cold. We're just forgetting that scope. I was on the show for like two years. That was later. That was later That was later the original was just us scope was and then scuffle came in and filled in for Kelly She need I needed time off she went back to whatever Australia Australia, but that was a fun fucking time. Let's do a live one dog Well fucking pack. I said me you and Dan just started on podcasts call the regulars

Yeah, but we need like a dumb dumb to kind of bounce the stuff at, you know, someone kind of like not. What the fuck is that? I'm saying we need you. You know what the... Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.

Shitty jobs.