Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Puss Puss

Episode Date: October 5, 2015

This week on ykwd Bobby, Scopo and Deepu welcome comedians Mark Normand, Phil Hanley, K.C. Arora and Lori Palmeteri.  Mark shares his beef with Americas Got Talent and other comedy competitions. Phil talks about his neck injury that he suffered from an intense writing session. Scopo is unsure if someone stole his idea for a series and the crew discuss it.  RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Y qué es lo que es? En la network riotcast.com. ¡Vamos a ver, vamos a ver. ¡Tú la ponte a la caja de la caja de la ponte!

¡No es la que me gusta como un caminete! ¡Dónde me encuentro! I'm not gonna come into the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. I was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on it. It's just us sitting down and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's intense. No topics, no direction. I love doing it. This podcast has no rules. Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already said so there's rubber killing.

You know what dude? You know what dude? You know what dude? I know what dude! I guess... ...unbited just a c'mon. I'm gonna... ...tide! I'm gonna...

...tide! Bump bump bump but that it. You don't know what song it is so you can't fucking take this off iTunes. Yeah. What's up everybody. We're here. Another edition of You Know What? Dad. Dad.

F**king dude. I built a sled, dude. Podcast, we have a full house in here today, as usual. I always say I'm gonna fuck. Dude, no more, we're gonna do three people, dude. Two people max. But I fucking love, it's no, it's not, yep, too many. Yep.

But here it is. A lot of people want to do the show. And then there's people I want to do the show uh... so i'm kidding uh... no but uh... it's a full house uh... deep who i mean scope of the scope of the deep was fucking me up so i'm going to call you chris uh...

chrisy yes who do you have the room alright so my right. We have Laurie Pomonteri. Is that your last name? Is that close? Pretty close Pomonteri, yes.

Pomonteri, already. Say, oh, I thought you'd usually go after that? No. I do, but you can keep going, but I was turning your mic down because your deep fucking queen's man voice was overmodulating. Wow. It's nice to see you guys have a system. Alright, here. And we got see-go to have a system put it here. And we got Phil Hanley in the room.

He's back. And here in a while. I'm going to stop by. First of all, we almost got through the intro. Here's a thing. Well, welcome to the show. It's your first time on the show. Yes, thanks.

Very excited. I mean, I literally just went over there to turn something down. And your improv skills stink so much. No, you didn't. Usually I intro somebody, then you go, welcome to the show, welcome back, and you do it every time. I'm waiting to hear my welcome.

So I was waiting for that to happen, and it wasn't there. Because it, and you could have looked and saw that it wasn't there as an improv, and then went, oh, let me fucking keep going. I can only do one thing at a time. Yeah. Okay, because Chrissy, why? I'm slow.

It's not your slow, you have no common sense. And slow. And stupid. Yeah. And um, Phil Hanley's here, guys. I don't know. Phil Hanley, who's not dumb or stupid or slow, but his ear. It's a little loud.

It's a little loud. It's a little loud. Yeah, a little loud, yeah. I didn't want to make a big, you know, me. Is that better for you? Yeah, that's better. That's good. Okay, you can ask. I have control. Okay, I didn't want to. I didn't want to make a big, you know, me. Is that better for you? Yeah, that's better. That's good. Okay, you can ask. I have control.

I didn't want to. Who hasn't been on in a long time, so, handly, who I miss greatly, you've been on the road. Yes. You've been, I follow you on Instagram. Oh, cool. Oh, do you really? Oh, apparently, you don't follow me.

No, you're kidding me. That's all I do. Anyways, it's all working. Yeah, I follow you. You've been all over the place. Yeah, yeah, I've been traveling a place. Yeah, I've been traveling a lot Yeah, even doing a lot of fucking crazy stuff man. Yeah One of the highlights of the year though was our we had a great lunch together in Austin

in the spring Yeah, we did we had a fucking good time awesome was fun man. I ordered the wrong thing. What what did you get? I got a salad Yeah, you got that You got that crazy pork job. We went to first of all, that was with Keith Robinson and Emman Row. I said, let's all go to lunch and then Keith was like, Yo Bobby, you got you're on a show, so you're paying for lunch. And I'm like, yeah, fine, because we're going to like Korean food. I was like, whatever And then he goes, so that means Keith has never paid for lunch.

I always got a burn key. Sorry. I think it's here or not. I love the good one. But we, so no, we're going to a steakhouse. He made me go to a fucking like a steakhouse. You know, I was taking Phil, which I don't mind, but then Monroe is there. Yeah, big guy. Big guy. Buddy, I don't mind, but then Monroe is there. Yeah, big boy.

Big appetite. Buddy, I didn't understand how much I can eat a lot. That motherfucker is a slow grind. You know, he eats and eats and fucking eats. The sausage thing he got for an appetizer. Yeah, it was obscene. Was a fucking meal. Also, he's a foster child, so when he's got a free meal,

he's gonna stock up. Yeah, but you know, he had the same meal every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. It was like a schedule. All right. All right. Yeah, but we took him and it was fucking great. But a great meal.

Yeah, he got a salad. They had this pork chop that was probably one of the best things I've ever had. Top 20 meals in my life. Un-fucking-believeable pork chop that was probably one of the best things I've ever had. Top 20 meals in my life. Unfuckin' believable pork chop. It was one of the best things. I would put it up against any steak I've ever had. What was the damage? Can we hear?

$7,000. Come on. Because it's awesome, this is the greatest part about living in New York. Is that when you live here, you pay for shit and it's crazy. It's a fuck, you go to Del Frisco, so you're like, you're knees wobble. But then when you go to Austin, five people can eat for like 250,

how do you fuck about that? It's me and my wife anyways, you know, never mind. Monroe. Monroe, so yeah, it was actually a fun time. You got a salad because you're an asshole. Yeah, it was good, it was a heck of a salad, though. And the waitress liked you. Yeah, there was it was good. It was a heck of a salad. Don't be. And the waitress liked you. Uh, yeah, there was some chemistry.

And she was a lesbian. Yeah. And she got in a fight with her fucking girlfriend. Girlfriend, because of Phil. Whoa! You're breaking up. It got that much game. Yeah. Yeah. Was the girlfriend first towards the end? Yeah, they both worked there.

And then the actually girlfriend left. she kind of like stormed out. Yeah, you like And flirting with the old time. I was not flirting I mean there was a little bit of charm, but that can't be stuff and her in her defense. You do have the disposition of a lesbian right And facial air I didn't even I was just ordering you know, I guess I just did it with a little bit of pizzazz I was just ordering, you know, I guess I just did it with a little bit of pizzazz. Salad. Salad. Stakeheads. He was such an idiot for doing that.

And not even paying, I'm paying. I mean, it's on the cuff. Is that why you ordered something cheap? That would be, yeah, you know what, I am not. Yeah, I'm sure that crossed my mind. First of all, your salad was 25 bucks. And go fuck yourself. Whatever, that theory, that is.

That was why. You know, I just thought I'd take the high road. I just showed a bit of class. I don't know. five bucks and go fuck yourself. Whatever, that theory that is. That was why. You know how to start it? Take the high road. That's right, right. I just show a bit of class. Of course, then we have Mark Norman, who is an Indian, originally an Indian,

from upstate New York, from the Saratoga area. How? That's what his crowd say. Oh, sorry. That wasn't even make sense. But anyways, we got Mark Norman, who I love, who's one of the funniest guys. I just did the roast battle with Deepu and Chrissy. Yes.

We tore them to shreds. Oh yeah. Well, I think they did it themselves. All right, you got a point there. I think we just observed and reported. You do feel on the fire. I don't think we do we need i don't know i think you guys actually poured gasoline over your head and like like like a philippino man uh... disgusted with the politics of his

country and let himself on fire yeah you you did you read we talked about a lot of you are reading right off the fucking chart and you you didn't get help you because your indian you that fucking Indian pride know offense KC right right that's a different Indian the Native American right there that different right and you went up and whatever I think it was good for everybody I agree it was entertaining Mark was hilarious my favorite part was when you

called out Ari for what because Ari is a classic you know crazy like the docs crazy Jew yeah and he'll be like, you cannot do this. This is not right. You have to do it this way. These are the rules, and Bobby just goes, hey, this is fun. We're hanging out. Yeah, take it easy.

I didn't know you can't read off the paper. I don't think it's a lot. Well, that's a lot. You can, but you can try. You can read off the paper. Right. And they should have a podium, first of all, when they do this. Making those two fucking knuckleheads or anybody stand up there,

just kind of hanging with their notes. They should get a little podium. Yeah. Especially with those stage experience. It's not easy. No. No. I know.

He's making me laugh today. Fuck all you guys. Maybe I just have an affinity for Mark Norman. I'm I do for the English. Oh boy. Oh look a dick at a steakhouse So yeah, we we he read off of it, but he but this is he sco-mo has a problem with reading Sometimes he does is act and it sounds like he's read i have a big but right nine times when i go to the next right

it's very it's very you gotta realize i've seen it's like the shittiest book on tape is actually i saw from where it started though so it seemed worse before what's that what is that i'm just asking if he had a joke about his his but yes Oh, yeah, okay, cuz I noticed that once you do have a large yeah, yeah, oh, it's fucking yes Right I could make money on physics. Yeah, I could make some serious cash. No, you can make always have options in life

Yeah, I realize that yeah, yeah, you do nice lips too. Yeah Hair lips. Yes, yeah fucking dumb face we get in the way me coming And of course we have KC is in the house a new friend of mine who actually I met through Chrissy right I like Chrissy Chris, I like Chrissy. And he filled into me and fucking, you know, I was a little nervous. I needed an opener, an MC for one of the shows I was doing. I had Stavros and Chrissy was supposed to go, but he hooked me up with KC and I'm like, who is he?

And he always an Indian kid and I'm like, oh, boy. And then, because you know those guys, I don't know. We fucking famous and millionaires. I fucking stand up world. But he came and he killed it. I was very happy very funny Thank you, and then he came to my house and did this The cigar podcast which I did at my house, right. I didn't even know that was happening Yeah, we had a Yuri from my cigar masters from cigar

Republic, it's a cigar lounge club. I belong to have a Westchester really great place from my cigar masters from cigar Republic. It's a cigar lounge club, belong to our Westchester, really great place. They have one in Danbury. Right here is the fucking new cigars. I just got cod wells. Those along live the King Baby that's a 60 gauge, big fat bat.

Put that in your mouth and you feel like it. Nice. No, it feels like the fucking be a bitch in prison, you know what I'm saying? I like that in the cigar. No, that's a guy. I'm fucking believable. My number one cigar right now,

but I'll give you one after the show. Oh, that'd be great. Well, not that one, but I'll give you a little cheaper version of it, maybe a Martha Christophe. But he came up, we did a great podcast. Yeah, yeah, he had a Shakuta replay. Right.

Then we had some sliders and sausage. The spread was incredible. I do put on a good spread you do anybody who's been to my fuck a barber Barbecues who's been you've been to my barbecue? Have you been to my barbecue? I was supposed to go to the last one, but I couldn't make it yeah, well, then you'll never get to go again The last one the last one was good. He didn't go that man was the last one before he's a rained out one I mean that one, but that still was good. It was fun, but I mean, but I couldn't make it Yeah, it was it was rained out, but anyway, I wanted to go, but I didn't get invited well You're invited to the next one. All right. I'm in witness. Yep, and deep was man. Yep Just double check the address because Bobby was just giving people wrong address

Oh, nice. And it was just like 20 minutes away And I'm he's like get here on time and I'm like sure and I'm just wandering some persons yard Because I first of all I'm dumb second of all not as dumb as scopo third of all Auto correct when I'm typing in my shit Hey, I'm not gonna give up my name, but it gives a very similar name. So it looks like it's my street, but it's not. And then I don't bother to check and I did it to like three people.

And they're all like Paul Versey's calls me up. Go, go, what the fuck, man? I think I'm gonna write placement. Thank you, the street does look right. And I'm like, what are they, nah, nah, that's not it, you typed in, nah, nah, nah, nah's not it. You typed it. I'll be right there. Bye. It's only 10 minutes away. Half off. Pretty good Versey. Thanks. Or, Jorge O'Pesci. But yeah, he came. And of course we have Lauren, who is new to the show,

who is part of this group now. She's helping us put this on every week. We got T-Poo and we got Chrissy video and Just producer and general booker of the show. So let's get this started man. Let's get right say is she the new Kelly? No, no, no, okay Is the new Kelly that's what I'm saying. Okay, all right. She's actually here to make sure everything's done right. Now, Chris, did you shut the light off in the hallway? Is it on?

Did you shut the door? Is it on? No, it's not. Thank you. Did you shut the door? Yeah. Lauren, did he do everything? Did you do everything?

No, because I set you up today to fail. I guess what? I did it. And I'm fucking proud of you, son. Lauren, give him a kiss on the lips for me. No, don't tell Harry to come on. That's fun. I'm kidding.

What the fuck? I know that. Did you guys listen? I think based on humor, I might be the new Kelly of the show, by the way. Oh, yes. That was a good one. I have to.

I like how you guys are fighting for that position. Yeah. All right. She's coming back. She's coming back. Oh, she guys are fighting for that position. Yeah. All right. She's coming back in. Oh, she is. Only for a month. For a month. But I seem longer.

But she's trying to lose weight. She's trying to lose weight. She took an Instagram of all these lean cuisines. Oh, my God, this is so bad. Oh, my God. It's nothing but salt. It's nothing but salt and sugar. And it's terrible.

And it's boring looking at it. You're coming back. I said, oh, life's the easiest. Wow, I gotta get on that. You coming back, you coming back in a month, how much are you gonna drop? Yeah, right? What do you mean?

Just come back fat and let us deal with that. Go all the way. Not all the way. Well, she's right there. Go real estate may. So anyways, we had this weekend was nothing much happened. Nothing happened. By what the time this comes out of it already through Toronto and all that. So how many people get in the room? Anybody? We got 25 people watching right? Great. Live watching in the room. Are We got 25 people watching right live watching in the room

Are you got any questions for anybody here get them into deep who make sure you let us know the questions for make sure it's funny or legit or both You said you had a problem we had It's America's gut talent. Yeah, which Comics go I've been going on that we had of course Cauter, who was a friend of mine, who I know from Boston. I started with, he was kind of a little head of me. And here he was, you know, out there doing clubs and blah, blah, blah, and his career kind of has stalled.

He had a few couple kids. He's got a beautiful wife. She's a comedian. Very funny. And then, you know, his career kind of went in that little, all of us, he kind got a beautiful wife, she's a comedian, very funny, and then his career kinda went in that little, all of us, he kinda up and down, and then he did, America's got talent, and now he's fucking killing it, doing theaters,

private gigs, cruises, he's just fucking, and I love it, because he's a good guy, his wife is great, he's always been a nice guy to me, and he's a funny guy. I mean, he's a joke writer though. He's a perfect television guy. He's got a machine gun and he's always been like that. But this show always does a lot for comedians. But this year, there was actually two comedians in the final. Correct? Yes. Well, one. Yeah. All right. Now, I met who are the two kids? Well, you got Gary Veter, who is my, you know,

my stallion, this kid's hilarious, great joke writer. I made it all the way to the finals. That's funny, right. It's such a funny guy, and then you got this kid Drew Lynch, the stutterer, who is from, I think L.A. Really? I think so. And he came out of nowhere.

Nobody's ever heard of him. Nothing, he was like an open-micre. Open-micre, and then he, now he's on America's got talent. Now I'm going to say this. Do you know who he is? I don't know who he is personally, but I after America's got talent. I saw who he was. Right. Now do you like him? Have you met him? You never met him? I never met him. Has anybody ever met him? Raise the hand if you met him. Okay. So I'm the only one who's a matter. And he was a very sweet kid. Wow, I might have met him. He was at the seller.

Oh, yeah, he's the seller now. Yeah, I don't know if he's Pat. I don't know if he's just working on that. And here he is not at the seller. I don't know if he was just working on the seller. I don't know, but I saw him on stage. I think I might have just said hi to him quickly. Well, I actually talked, I was up front.

I'd never seen his act. I'd never seen him on the show. He came up front, he had a little scally cap on. He looked adorable. I wanted to put him in a basket and drive home and a bike with him. He's a kid here. I mean, a fucking adorable kid.

And with the stuttering, and he's stuttering and just talking. A little bit, yeah. But not like on the show. Oh, okay. So he stutters more on the show. Oh, yeah, he amps it up. He's playing it up, he has to really even want you to

They don't want you to just stutter once in a whole set. You got a great. Yeah, that's why he's there That's why he got on he's the stuttering kid. Yeah, he got the golden ticket right out of the gate Which means you're going to the finals no matter what so it's like you somebody with a parent who died of something Yeah, kid who sick. Yes or a minority. Yeah Listen, you that used to mean something. Yeah, but you're not a, you're not a minority first of all. I mean, no, I'm not, but I'm not a majority, but I'm just saying, like, it used to be like, oh, you know, it's a black guy. It's something, but now it's like, that's not enough. It helps. It helps. No, it does help, but I think that it needs, you need more than that.

You got to have to get to the finals. It doesn't help you win. Right. Hit it in the main and neither does Stuttering. Super Gizzi of jokes. Oh, that helps. He has jokes, but he'll be like, I tried to give a girl my number. And I was like, it's, it, it, it, it, and she's like, that's a lot of eights. So did you have jokes?

That's, yeah. That is that one of his jokes? Okay, that's a bad, that's a bad. That's a bad That is that one of his jokes. Okay, that's a bad girl. That's not bad. I thought so. Got a black girlfriend which doesn't hurt by the way. That doesn't look bad either. She's killing. What kind of girlfriend is it? Black girlfriend. I To his mom said But I've never met him. Maybe he's a nice kid, but here's my beef there Bob oh you got a beef. I got a beef. I love him like Jay Leno

Huh, well who said that? I was Jay Leno's thing. He was like he always come on Back to bandana. I want you to but I want people to see that you have I'm saying. I don't put it on your head put in your mouth. Oh Indian on Indian cry So to get to the finals Vitor had to do a joke where he talked about something something Bubasipi is the joke he says you can't stare to woman's tits for too long she catches you So you got to count you got to go one boobasipi two boobasipi three boobasipi But I fucked up because I counted out loud whatever he said fuck no, no, okay, but good joke whatever and boobissippi was such a hit It was trended on Twitter. It was turns like boobissippi. That's huge. I thought that was planned because I was so clever It was like such a smart thing to incorporate the judges into the into the set

Yes, and then you know like it was so many like steps of layers of how smart it was when I was watching like our Boo was sippy that's like something that can trend. He's involved one of the judges Mel B. Yeah, so now he involved the judge He said I rented a Mel B on the on the elevator and she had a lot of cleavage. Oh, he did the joke Oh, okay, yeah, really? I mean the guy put a lot of time and working to this his wedding was coming up So he's like I need to get this I need to win. I have no money He's also the only guy from New York so they're not paying him any per DM no hotel So he's just he's just riding it out, you know skipping sets and just go in there and put all of his focus into this

Yep, you guys get any money for doing that zero. Wow. That's no no no No, I'm fucking national TV on a number one show that makes gazillions of fucking dollars Yeah, and not pay the finalists is fucking rape on a number one show that makes gazillions of fucking dollars and not pay the finalists is fucking rape. It's rape, dry anal rape. I might have. No, it's worse than that because I like that. I love getting raped,

and we're just a dry penis. Not even like a hundred bucks, something. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Is that illegal? It should it? I'm sure you're Do the yeah through the actors you need isn't after like shouldn't they protect people like that? Yeah, yeah It'd be nice. He's a dog walker. He's got no union He really has yeah, but if you're on television I think there has to be something maybe he signed it. He's definitely signed his rights away because I don't think that

Why would you fight it though because the amount of exposure he's gonna get from this? I never made a dime on tourism Is that right? No, I did not get paid. I was on HBO for nine weeks. I did not get a fucking dime What that is I was on after the sopranos. Oh my god Not you got money for the tour. I got we got paid for the tour But that we did the tour and the we didn't they didn't say you're gonna be on HBO You know, I mean they were just like yeah, we're doing a tour. We'll pay you per gig Oh cool. It's good money. Well that time it was good money to do a tour

And they just and then and then they they were taping it. We look yeah, we're gonna might do a We might do a like a documentary like one one big, two and a half hour documentary of this. And then, you know, salad, which is, I don't care about a documentary, you know what I mean, do it. So the DVD, and we were going to get some of the DVD rights or whatever. I never, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, never, never saw a fucking dime from HBO nine weeks on HBO during

sopranos. Yeah. And I never started dying off the DVD. Didn't they make you also do stuff? Aren't you like in a jet plane at one point? I remember watching that. Dude, they put us on a fucking fighter jet. Right.

Like not, not like, you know, it was a Mustang or whatever they call them. And you go up six thousand feet and the guy goes okay go ahead And you take the stick he's flying Yeah, you think you're flying you're doing some shit. Yeah, he's making sure you don't kill us But yeah, dude, I mean I'm doing fucking I puke they call me Bobby two bags I'm like the only guy that ever puke and filled two bags. Oh, wow Yeah, well the guy told me before, just eat ginger snaps. Before you fly, it'll help you stomach,

so I ate the whole box. You're already eating. What a coincidence. Or eat a box. But yeah, we're not at the time, so it sucks. Yeah, it sucks. I had to go after and tour me, Gary and Jay Davis,

by ourselves, to make money from it, which I get, that's that's whole MTV, VH1 thing. Come in and do this for nothing, but you're gonna be on TV and get a million people, but okay, how long do you have to do that for? That's fucking ridiculous, they Gary didn't get at least 800 bucks a shot. I know, I know.

You know? Okay, so now I don't know what happened. Okay, so this is the big, the big, snap-food here. Is so, Boobasipi's a hit, Gary's excited, whatever, all right, they all make it to the finals. Now, Gary does his set, kills, amazing set, he does a Caitlyn Jenner joke, it's all great.

That was a great joke, to have a great, great joke, and a great joke. Anyone remember it? I don't put you in. It's a, wait. You're gonna let. Anyone remember it? I don't know. It's a... Wait! You're gonna let Christo do it? I'll do it.

Let Christo do it. Alright, you go. You go. You know, like as I mentioned, Bruce Jenner in a conversation with a friend, he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, it's Caitlyn now. He goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm on season three. That's a good one.

No, because he's Caitlyn now. He's become a woman. And he goes, no, no, no, I'm on season two. The Lord's Woman is gay. You guys are coming to some of my workshops. Thank you. So I got those with anything I bought. That's all I have. I have two, I have the applause, a better applause, and all.

Just do the better applause. And then once in a while I can do this. That's it. Is the O label D-Po? Oh, all right. No, but it does sound like it's crowds. Yeah. I wish they were that many people in my crowds.

He wish they spoke. I was actually the all the bookers. Sorry. So the Stuttering Kid goes up and does his set and Gary notices rehearsals that he's ending a joke with Boobacipi. He's using his line and Gary goes, hey, that's my punch line. You can't say Boobacipi. And he's like, he took his joke.

So then the kid goes, ah, it's an homage. I'm paying a homage to you. It's a respect. And he's like, that's my joke. Don't do it. Case closed. And guys, all right, I won't do it. Wow. It's it's a respect and he's like that's my joke. Don't do it case closing guys Like all right. I won't do it. Wow. So he goes out there does it and he says something something boop is Booba chewsits Wait a minute. Wow. He changed the state. Oh my god. How is that allowed and the judges didn't catch on no one notice and he passed Gary

Be Gary what he beat him. He won. He didn't catch on no one notice and he passed Gary be Gary. What he beat him? He won he didn't win the whole game. He got second place or something like that I use second place goes on tour though because Tom Carter went on tour when he came in seconds So what was it a punchline did he yeah it was the closer so were people did he get a laugh because he was doing a callback to Gary Yes, yes, but it's his job. He said he went up against the bed. Yeah, yeah, said he went up. I guess the best. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who went up first? Gary or the Gary did it the week before? No, no, who went up first that night though? I think Gary. Oh, okay. He can't even call him out on it. Yeah. Can I say something though? Can I say something? I never get this. We're a new guy.

Like a guy like Gary, of course, he's a great writer. He's been doing it for a while. He probably has a shitload of material. Yeah. And can write stuff on the fly. But a new guy who's just an open mic or how the fuck does he come up with new stuff every week? Do they help him? Are there writers? Probably probably call some friends. I don't know.

When you have a roast coming up, you get your friend. Help me out, eat some jokes. Maybe it was it. Wait, wow. But Boo, but choose it. That's ridiculous. So everybody doesn't like this kid. I mean, I don't know. So if this kid wins the whole thing it starts hanging at the

seller and he's up yeah i mean it's over he lost oh he lost he didn't win the whole thing some uh... he came in second he came in second right he came in second why the fuck the puppet guys win every

always win any british british too oh my god that's what i love pop it ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's fresh too. Oh my god, that's what I love. I'm not a puffer. Really? No, no, no. Okay, but this is so fucked up because even if it was just never mind a competition, even it was just on a show, I've done that.

I've done a call back to someone else's joke on a show, but I'd say, Hey Norman, do mine if I do. You're just a reference. If it's not on your left side, yeah, exactly. It's totally different. You reference a joke that the host said or if someone, you guys are friends too, so it's different. Yeah, totally. No, but, okay, so that's totally different. You referenced a joke that the host said or if someone did. And you guys are friends too, so it's different. Yeah, totally. No, but, but, okay, so that's completely different.

But Gary said to him, yeah, no man, you can't. Yeah. And he's still like, oh, okay. And then that's just bad. I think he's diabolical, this kid's a nut. Wow, that is so uncool. I think that's somebody writing for him. I think that somebody, maybe on the show, somewhere somebody said you should do this show. Here's a bunch of how about this.

This would be good because they love that and you can fucking, you know what I mean? Yeah. He had to make it. How the fuck did he come up with that? How the fuck did he come up with? If you're saying he's not that funny or whatever, because I don't know, I haven't seen one second of a stand up and I haven't seen the show ever. So, how the fuck did he come up with that?

Well, I got this new bit about Boo Brasco. It's doing really well. Right, well, he just noticed it was a second. One second. And I have that. He passed that to your brother. Bama Sippy. Yeah.

He just noticed it was killing and it was right. he just was like, I'm going to ride that wave. It's not your wave to ride. No, in a competent, but how do the judges not be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we know enough to about stand up to know what you just did is not cool. That's what hurts the most. Because they don't. Because it's a spicy.

Is it one of them a comedian? Yeah, but he does, he's not a comedian. He's fucking, he hasn't been a stand up and he's just, he's a personality. Yeah, he's a personality and he has this , I mean, of course, Holly, I think Holly's great, nice guy, and of course, his act, but he doesn't do modern day stand-up. No. He does what he did back in the day just adds to it. He goes and makes a shitload of money in Vegas or wherever the fuck he goes. And he does America's gut talent, but it makes a can't load a money. Yeah, but if you've ever done stand up, if you've written a joke, you would know that to use someone else's joke in a competition. Yeah, but who

knows what executives are saying to them. They don't say anything. Don't we already know this? I mean, because when Joe Maderee's went on there, they didn't, they don't think they don't say anything. Don't we already know this? I mean, because when Joe Maderees went on there, they didn't even have the judges in the room, they just splashed Joe Maderees. Who? I'm kidding. Yeah. When he was on there, they spliced the judges being in the room when they weren't.

And then on top of that, they made their reactions just them being puzzled as to when he was saying those jokes. We have to stop. We have to stop looking at these competitions. I know. Like it's a football game. Yeah. But it felt like it was a game.

You know what I mean? Because there are no rules. There are no real judges. Yeah. It's all produced. It's too heightened the excitement and the, you know, the fat people in the most country who are watching don't care about the rules and regulations of stand-up comedy and the code that we have for each other

and they don't know about it nor do they give a fuck about it. So if the little cute stuttering kid took his joke and kind of made it funny again, they're like, he did the joke, they don't give a fuck. It's just tough though when your friends are like Gary's on it and I'm like, he could win this and could totally change his life. You know what's going to change Gary's life? Just keep being funny because where's Dad Fan? I don't know, a know what's gonna change Gary's life just keep being funny because where's dad fan? I don't know a million dollars would help. Where's dad? Yeah, okay?

Where's dad fan want to made probably over a million dollars that after he won that thing? I mean, where's he now? I'll be living comfortably, but nowhere. No, he's touring. No, yeah I saw him I actually bumped it all man at a resort in my actually I have his head right here I wanted to reveal it What if it was a little little Filipino head right there? It's a sad set of a I hope for Schumer at some resort and he was doing the small room and I went in the dropper Yeah, and it was like six six old people smoking with like white hair And they were just like what's he talking about it was brutal and that's where he is now

Yeah, but he's not our our guarantee is not making money. Our guarantee is making shit. And I also guarantee that I'd rather be the rich boss and all the other people that didn't win that year who are standing like Ralphie May, these people who are stand-ups, then that fucking guy. This guy who won is done. He's gonna go and you know do some horse shit

somewhere for a couple years. Garavita is gonna be a stand-up comic and work his way up and get his own life and his career is gonna last a lot longer. I hope that's right. Well yeah this will happen anyway. I mean like people the exposure he's gotten is incredible. Yeah yeah millions. Millions. But did he talk to him after that? Do you say something to him? Uh, I don't think so. I think the kick out wist away and that was, you know, Gary's too nice though. I think it's very nice. If we were to see them fight though, I wouldn't, I wouldn't

I wouldn't pass them sand something. If you, yeah, in that situation, I mean, Gary's very nice. It's still going to do good for Gary though. I mean, to have, have that on your resume to have that video. Yeah, yeah. The club is going to love me, and is he funny? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's funny. Do these guys have nothing to worry about? Yeah, he's funny. He's got nothing to worry about.

I take it all out in the stuttering mutant, but I think it's all really the grand scheme of it all. That's what bugs me, is the whole, like, you know, you can't, like I did last comic standing, and I would watch Vecchio and get knocked out. Mezger, Mike Lawrence, and then the new girl with the weird haircut and the glasses and the these nuts Where is she?

I'll tell you this where is she? She kills me fucking Kurt Metzger just wanted to me my Vecchio and did my podcast last week I'm just saying America sees Vecchio and then sees that girl and they go well he lost and she didn't This year the girl that that tall girl with like the ponytails she sucked in the finals. She got moved on Joe Liss should have I mean Joe Liss should have beat that the black kid. What's his name Clayton England? There's no doubt about it. The Joe Liss had a fucking perfect set. Yeah, normal love great jokes Very funny. It was all the way through.

This guy pushed, I mean, God bless him, but that joke has been done. What joke was it? Well, I had to fuck what? I forget what was it. I can't even watch these. I'm so bad because my friends are involved. Yeah.

Well, is it really rude for them to fuck them under that? Yeah, it's not having money. Yeah. Oh, cereal. It was a cereal joke. A bag of cereal. It's snorted or something like that. Right, right. Yeah, it's like, I do. was a cereal a cereal a cereal is snorted or something like that Right, right. Yeah, it's like I do never heard that shit

But I mean we all have that shit in our act, but and you could very well be picked to be in the finals I have no problem with him moving on but beating Joe sat was ridiculous Yeah, and then the nail in the coffin was he did Seth Meyers like two days later. Yeah, eight it So really yeah, it's like do you see world did Seth Meyers like two days later? Yeah. Aided. Oh really? Yeah, it's like, do you see World DC? Well, because doing those talk shows, Joe, his set, that joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, that just rapid fire is perfect for those shows. Storytelling is not good for late night talk shows.

You can't fucking be long-winded and have no punch line. You can do that shit in a club. Yeah. You remember the pull that off on the-comic standing. Oh, it's interesting your story because whatever but on late night You need yeah, yeah really good jokes set up punch tag move the fuck on yeah, so yeah Joe's perfect But Joe's gonna be fine anyways. I think oh he'll be fine. He's already got a lot of gigs and work and he's doing good I have the oh my god. Oh, is that Clayton English? Oh my god, why is my mic not on? Oh shit. Well, we got the backup, so we're not.

Okay. Totally fucked. You're gonna use your backup, right? All right, yeah. Excuse me. Yeah, I mean, the thing is I think we get emotionally invested because these are the people we know. Hang on, I'm gonna say yeah.

Well, it's all, it's the better kind of thing. I want to say, here we go. My mic hasn't been on the whole fucking time. Jesus. Wow, it's gonna be a good pod. I can't get some good ones fucking time. Jesus. Wow, it's gonna be a good pod. I get some good ones. Fire. You're great.

You got the bat. Well, yeah, we got it. All right. That was anyways. What were you saying, Casey? The emotional investment that we have because there are friends. That's the and that's the thing. Like it's not just friends though. It's I want just funny.

You want you want people. If these people that aren't great get you know when these shows or whatever then sell tickets and people go to the club and they're like okay this guy and then they have a monotonous 45 minutes and like I'm never going to go to a comment. Yeah, but I think Bobby's point is that it it evens out in the long haul and it sucks. I mean it'll be wrong. It sucks to watch people get robbed and screwed over maybe it evens out, but it's not good

for any it's not good for any comic that's actually trying For someone to be promoted who's not great right because he then does a whole bunch of shows in the road or or she does a whole bunch of shows in the Road they're not good and then those people don't go to comedy again for 10 years right well Look I understand that but you can't get rid of what you think is shit You don't even mean a will we think is shit. Yeah, because that mean? We'll be, we'll be think is shit. Because that guy who beat Joe, if you don't, you know, has a ton of friends who think he's fucking hilarious. You know, that little stuttering kid

has a bunch of people going, dude, you're great. Yeah, of course. I mean, and there's other comics that are going, oh my god, dude, what a great set. So this is just our common enemy that we have here because, you know, I'm not friends with Garivita, but I know of him and I've never heard a bad thing about him. I've always heard great stuff about his act and everything.

So I'm behind him because, you know, I don't want you guys not to like me. You know what I mean? But I met that kid and he was a sweet kid. If I didn't know all this garbage about him, I'd be like, he was a sweet kid. If I didn't, if you know, if I didn't know all this garbage about him, I'd be like, good for you, buddy. Well, you got to be a sweet kid when you have a stutter. You can't be like, fuck you. I would've been hilarious with that thing.

He was just a cock-sucker with a stutter. Each mother comes. I respect the court. I respect the court. That's a lot of commitment. Yeah. Well, so I think Gary Vita will do fine though. I believe so.

I think he'll do fine. And this will actually be, you know, his tourgasm. You know, not to get a fucking nickel, but... He'll be the next Jay Davis. I, he called me up. Oh, he's got a phone. He's doing comedy. He's got another room. He's doing comedy. He's got another room, I guess, this is producing.

And LA. And all that. Yeah, pretty crazy, man. I remember all that shit. I remember being on TV for the first time. I remember I couldn't tell anybody for a year. I remember that. I was coming out of some shitty fucking showcase at the improv where I just

fucking ate a dick. And I'm like, I'm done in this business. I'm just fucking done. And then I got a phone call from a dang going, bro, you gotta tell me, you can't tell anybody, but this is going on HBO. It's gonna be a series. You're gonna be on HBO But it's not gonna happen for a year and I was like fucking yes for a year I had to just not say anything to anybody and I'm sitting there going fucking it was the longest Year of my life. Yeah, did it change things once it aired? It changed shit for a minute Yeah, I mean I went I went on tour, you know, I bought an apartment and Manhattan. Yeah. Yeah. To you to keep it going. Well, yeah, I mean, it fucking physical. I mean, you know,

that after that, that's when Danes started getting off the shit. Yeah. And everybody turned on them, you know, as soon as you hit the high point, usually people turn on you and they try to rip you down. That's what started to happen. You know, I got that, do you agree on a duck-fucking show? It's like, all right, well, whatever the fuck that compliment is. But then that went into the virus tour. You guys doing that oddball thing.

We used to do the virus tour. It was me, Patrice, Billyrice Billy Norton Florentine Yeah, Louis it was just this fucking crew, but it was all O&A fans. So it was just fucking nuts. I've seen clips on you I Remember that old affiliate thing. Yeah, Philly and that happened Cleveland the next week Cleveland tried to to recreate it. He was like, go fuck yourselves, I'm out. He's not happening.

But yeah, well, we'll see what happens. But a little stuttering kid, you know, maybe Grady just gets his own show. Oh, look at it all. Stuttering Drew. Yeah. Takes fucking two weeks to film one episode. He'll use that.

It took a year to make a season. See you Tuesdays. Let's get on. He's writing the ship down. Anyways, Lori. Yes. This is your first time on the show. It is.

Now, here's the thing with you. I know all these guys But I see you at the seller every once in a while Every once in a while you're there and I've never seen you do stand up way from From Long Island originally you're really from Long Island. You're a New Yorker Yeah, and now you're here in doing stand up for how long six years six fucking years. Mm Six fucking years. Where the fuck did you come from? Yeah. Um, I don't know, I guess,

well, I don't know, I guess I've been hiding out there. I don't know, I've been in the city though. So I just haven't, I mean, I've known Mark for a couple of years, right? Sure, sure, we have known Canal or Casey for, Is that like, I don't know how to call him, Canal Chanda Rora. So you just go with Casey?

Yeah, I do. I knew when he was, I knew when he was, I knew when he was, I knew when he Yeah, I do. My choice. I knew when he was coming. That's a shitty website. Follow me at Canal De Blanc. Blanc, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's actually how I say it, too. Just walk off the stage.

Blu, blah, blah, blah. Lauren I used to do gigs in Long Island all the time. So you're gonna say Lauren I used to bang. No, no, no, no. No, you can't, you can't. Yeah, she won't even hug me. He's clearly gay. Yeah. He had a gay. No. No, no. No, you can't read it. Yeah, she won't even hug me. He's clearly gay. Yeah.

He's a gay. No. No, no, no. Are you gay? No. Oh, she wilded those applause. Right. I thought I'd have fucking her time back in college.

It's begettio's once with this chick. Um, this chick in a steakhouse, dump me. Ah. So you're your family's from there. Yes. Really? Okay. And have you dated comics? No, I've never dated any comics. Would you? I kind of have this role that don't date comics, but would I never dated comic? I don't know. I can't say that, I can't say that ever would. Well, if you could did a comic right now, fantasy, who would have been? Yeah. I don't even want to.

I don't even want to. I'm a blaster. Let's go. Just go, the fuck, you don't have to go. It's just anybody, anybody. You don't have to go this way. You can do famous, dead, I don't give a shit. Anybody.

I don't know. I'm trying to think it was dead, so I can just go with that. I don't know. I'm trying to think it was dead, so I can just go with that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's the cause. No no issues. You can go with that, uh, their friend's career. He's there. Gary Vita. Go with him. Come on, Laurie. Spit it out.

Um, I think it's good. I think it's a fantastic. I think all comics should do that because once you bang a comic, you're fucked. It's never going to work. Fantastic, I think all comics should do that because once you bang a comic. Oh, yeah, you fucked It's never gonna work. It never has only for rich voss and Bonnie and that's still Questionable Joe list is going all right. Okay. I would say Joe list about Carter Didn't you say his wife is a com? Okay three people, but that's it. I'm all the fucking people. I'm married a comment Ralphie May his wife is also a com I'm a fucking people. I'm married to comment.

Yeah. What about Ralphie May? His wife is also a comment. Oh, really? After the fact. Yeah. Right. After the fact.

I didn't know. Imagine marrying someone and then they popped out of it. Yeah. That's true. Do you hold a gun? Do you hold it sideways like that? Yeah. Is that the way you hold it or do you hold it?

I live in his Harlem. I hold it like that. That's okay. Because that's why you're doing that with the mic. Oh, no, I'm turning it sideways. Just turn the mic on. No, you put it right in front of you and you can just turn your head You don't have to see watch talking to the side. Uh-huh. Talk to talk to him. Talk to him. Talk to him.

Talk to him. Do this or don't do this now. Talk to Laura. Laura. Laura. Did you change it? See how loud? Yeah. When you talking to the front of it. Yeah. I apologize. Sorry. Sorry. Bobby didn't have his on for the first part of the show. Well, that was a snap of a... No, I got a neck, sometimes I have a neck issue, so I just go whatever.

Really? I did something to it. What'd you do to it? I write a lean on the side and I write a lot. No offense guys. And so it did big spunky. By Rode rode all day yesterday. So my next little funky. That's so weird that you actually get physically heard from being a stand up comedian. It's never ever. And we're people. That's why we do this career so we don't have to

have heard a bad posture when I write. What do you write? I'm saying, now? No, I lean, I lean. I lean. What do they do to you in Canada? You get weird desks. He writes you with a hockey stick

I lead So my next little funky today. Why why don't you not do that anymore? So you don't try to but I get yeah I'm took a day after a sports injury. It really is ice that is neck. Yeah How much did you write after writing session? I wrote I probably wrote like I wrote work to my acting Then I was writing like a episode or something. Oh, you're writing? I probably wrote for like nine hours a week.

Are you writing for a show? No, it's something to like my own idea thing. Oh, you're trying to? Yeah, it's about this stuttering comic. And yeah, no, yeah, it's just in my own thing. So I wrote it like yesterday, so my next little funky. Oh, well, all right, good. Writing for yourself, writing a show for yourself,

knowing that it's probably never gonna come to fruition. Oh, well, all right. Good. Writing for yourself, writing a show for yourself, knowing that it's probably never going to come to fruition. Oh, it's the worst. As you're writing the hope you have of, oh my God, this could be it. This could be my Ray Romano. This could be my Seinfeld. This could just put me over the top so I could just, oh my God, imagine just coming in and doing spots for shits and giggles just to to come in and bump somebody and then jumping

your fucking limo and taking home. And they go on the road and just go off and just, hey, do an hour and it's all new stuff, but they love it. Because you're just you, they're there to see you. I'm getting hard. Oh my God. Bring all your friends with you on a fucking jet and go in and play golf and then

stay a couple extra days and in the keys and oh my god. Imagine that, but the reality is is that you know someone's gonna read it and then come back and give you notes and more notes and notes and then you're gonna give it and then you're gonna have to go pitch it and then it's never gonna get. And then one day you're just gonna have to take it and put in a draw and then a draw a draw a draw a draw room and just draw fucking monkeys and trees on it. But even getting to the point where someone reads it and you get to pitch it and all that is, that's a huge victory just there.

Yeah, it's just, it's a fucking mother fucker because you think what you write is so amazing. And people are gonna get it and then someone comes back and they're like, yeah, this doesn't make sense because of this. You're like, oh yeah. I forgot that because I was so into me while I was writing it. You know what I mean?

And it's like, you got to learn every time you write, you got to learn more shit. So fucking tedious. You have a writing partner? Uh, this. Yeah, I kind of have some of the time I'm going to work. Do they have a bad neck too? Is it like you get your chips?

They lean on each other's knees. No, you do Tuesday because I got a spot Wednesday. Yeah, so no, it's just, but what are you supposed to do? You have to keep riding shit, right? You get a neck pillow. My pillow. An eye pillow, do you have one? With the creepy guy, yeah.

You have one. Oh, you have one of those pillows? I watch that a lot on the road. Are you crazy? Really? I'm sorry. Yeah, no, I have like an awful neck. It's like 90-year-old woman neck. And my physical therapist is like, get a new pillow. So I went to Beth Mjohn and got the pedophile man on the box, the my pillow. And I literally like change my life. Oh, really? Done. Next year. I'm so great in this pillow now. Really? So I'll try, I'll try, because I see the commercial. I find that quite charming.

You don't. No, yeah, I'll try, so it's worth trying. Yeah. Okay, cool. And then he pops out of the pillow head. He feels like we're flirting. Well, she's married. Oh, fucking eight years.

Same. Well, happily, right? Half and a half, together. Almost half. Oh, she got married for eight years. Same. Wow. How about it, right? Half and a half, together almost. Oh, she got married for eight years. Would be married for two and a half years. This is accusation. He's a corrections officer.

Oh, cool. Wow, macho. That's a macho. I mean, honestly, under comedian, but that's, uh, I started having sex dreams again. Oh, do you tell me again? Oh, oh, oh. I know, Oh, I know I I I'm so fucking horny lately. What happened with the date last week? A date? You had a date. He ate a date.

No, I liked it. I do too. Me and my wife went on a date, yeah. It was cool. We went to Dobbsferry. Ooh, the Cokerade, which is amazing. Yeah, Dobbsferry is really cool. I mean, it's, you know, it's just a little town. It's just a beautiful little town. What's this amazing dinner? This is what I fucking hate. It's this great restaurant.

It has great reviews. Everybody says to go to it. We go to it real early. We go six o'clock. We get a babysitter. We head out. We get there, seven o'clock reservation, we get there at 6.30, we show up, nobody's there. Okay, there's a ton of tables open,

they take us and put us at a two-top in between two two-tops with fucking two old couples that don't have restroom volume voice. It's just like, so I went over to him and I said, you know, I'm not doing it. He's like, I went over to him and I said, you know, I'm not doing it. He's like, you shouldn't do it. I know. I shouldn't do it. I know you're what I said last week. You didn't listen. It's like I was fucking furious. It's my night. I would ruin my meal. But my wife gets up, disappears. She's gone. I'm just sitting there trying to

fucking meditate and not, okay, this is date night. Waitress comes back, hey, we're going to move move you puts a set of four top my wife knows me goes over look he can't you know blah blah can we just yeah sure I'm great wife yeah didn't even tell you that's part I every girlfriend I've ever had because I'm like that to or if I check into a hotel and it's just like a crazy shitty room yeah and I can recognize the shitty room because I'm a comic and yeah in Canada Canada. I don't know if they do it in the States. You get like the shitiest rooms. Like furniture is fucked up. And every girlfriend I have, I'd sit down,

they would see that I'm irritated and they'd be like, it'll be fine. It'll be fine like it's not fine. That shit drives me fucking crazy. So for your wife to go and sort that out for you, not only would I have to do it myself, but then the vibe would be the girl pissed off that I wasn't content with sitting between

Yeah, she gets up. We move we have this fucking amazing dinner. I mean crazy dinner. It's unbelievable eat You know, I'm on no sugar no grains, but I stay on point fucking don't even cheat So everything we then we go take a walk through the village of Dobbs fairy and and cheat, so then we go take a walk through the village of Dobbs Ferri and it was just this really great night and we walked back and then we get in the car and we get back to the house and the baby said, then you know, and then she, you know, we're on the couch and I'm like my dick needs touching Yeah, I'm like she woke up early. I know she's up and I know she's got to wake up early again

I know she's exhausted. It's 10 30 going on a 11 o'clock whatever it was So I was like going to bed. She's gonna go bed and then I know I should have went in there and just fucking I don't know Just savagely fucking ate her bog of I'm gonna go bed and then I know I should have went in there and just fucking I don't know just Savagely fucking a derbaga Like how do you like that? I don't but I feel like I feel bad too because then you know So she went to bed and then I went to bed now. It's like I'm having these sex dreams. I'm on a fucking train We'll leave in vacation. I don't know why a rubah was in In scarsdale was in Scar'sdale. They were mixed. It was a Ruba Scar'sdale. This is a beautiful beach and then Scar'sdale. We had to take a train and I jump on the train and my wife gets on and goes down

and gets seats and I go up the front and the conductor. The woman, like an older woman. You know, she was all right and then she, I was up front and I was talking over and then all of a sudden, I just took my dick out. She started sucking it and she took her titties out and she had these like nice titties and and then she's sucking my and I'm on a train and she's sucking my dick and you know, and I'm fucking titties and the back door is open and we're about to pull up to a stop and she wants to fuck and she's like, let me go shut the doors and she goes to shut the doors and these old ladies get on and she's like, we gotta get dressed, it was like, it was just this hot, clean fucking dream.

Yeah, you guys were here. Oh shit. I'll be back in a second. How was her push-push? No, no, no. Her push-push was, I didn't get to it, but I wanted it, I wanted it. It was gonna get laid in your dreams.

Oh my God. I was, you know, I was so, I woke up. Dr. Yons. Right, right. But then, you know, of course I wake up, you know, well, you know, my kid had a nightmare. Daah!

And I'm like, okay, you know, it's all over. And, you know, I got to, it's just done. Now here I am in the city. This is the tough part, is that I'm a fucking, you know, got to it's just done yeah now here I am in the city this is the tough part is that I'm a fucking you know a past sex pervert and I know what I can do to solve these issues yeah right who don't rub and tug rub and tug rub and push rub and lick no I know I had lory on what's a rub and lick it sounds like a good way to get a job. That's when you fucking oh You don't lick anything. No, they rub. Oh, okay. No, no DJ

But it's it's we like you've been mad so I thought you're mad for eight years But you don't go your your sex life is fine two years a marathon checked out. Yeah, right? Oh, yeah Really blowd jobs anymore now. What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?

What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?

What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? Oh, I'm scared. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. You don't...

Wait, can I say this? You're too young, so you're out of it. Why? Because I owe you. 26. 26. She's fucking sexual prime, not really, in a woman's, but you're fucking around.

You live in New York, you're a comic. You have guys, you have a boyfriend? No. You have anybody in your life. Yeah, I'm just a single. I'm so alone. It's such a comic thing,'t it oh yeah they just once in a while you hook up with somebody and then never talk to them again it's pretty

much it and that's because you're married to your career yep that's it that you're married to stand-up comedy yeah so whatever it feels like whatever once in a while when you need it and it happens you'll fucking do it but then you just cut it off emotionally yeah pretty much and then you need it and it happens you'll fucking do it But then you just cut it off emotionally Yeah, pretty much and then you get to this point where you just fucking no blow jobs You cut him off emotional See I still like going down a lady like the women just you never liked it. Oh, no, I love it. Look at me Look at me. Look how selfish that sounds

Okay, interesting look at me. I love it. I love that. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I have a particular rule about this too. Oh, please. Well, you just, they got, a guy has to go down first and then I'll reciprocate. Why is it because you don't trust him? You think the leaves are leaving? I always go leave. But I always do this. I think this is the best thing.

Instead of doing that, just take a shoes. But I'll suck a dick but give me your shoes. You're not asking.'m gonna ask a question. So at one point did you enjoy performing? Oh yeah, even before we were married, like, you know, self-conscious Lauren, when a single, I would. Yeah.

All the time. Oh man, just pouring it up. Yeah, but did you enjoy it? Yeah, yeah. And now you just don't enjoy, it's just not appealing to you? It's just like on the top. So you did it all the time back in the day. Yeah.

The 80s. Damn it. I missed it. But I mean, I can relate. I was with a lady for nine years and it was just like the thought of doing it was like, it was like, it was like work, it was a chore. I'd just go with just oral. Everything, which is like, I'd rather watch porn.

Here's the deal. Now I'm deal as I'm now I'm fucking scared You know to go in the other room now. I'm fucking I'm kind of like you know I pull my like what do I do? I don't know like some chick. I don't know I know what to do for some reason I know let's fucking make out Let me put a push push then you fucking take my dick, tick out, and then fucking, you know, let me, let me fingy, you know, and then I get you, and then you go down,

and then we fucking put it in from behind under a railroad track, and fucking train goes, you know, whatever. I'm a standard. And then my wife, though, what do I go on the bed and I go, hey, right, hi, I feel like a weird neighbor. Like, you know what I mean?

You have any sugar? Right, right. I was, you know, I mean. Good point. And then if I do it, I'm afraid to get rejected. Yeah. I'm afraid of her going, huh? I'm just, I can't, you know, what?

Oh, fuck. And then if she does it, you're like, well, she doesn't really want to do it, so that doesn't feel like good here. Yeah. There's no sense or urgency. When you're in like a committed well, she doesn't really want to do it. So that doesn't feel like good either. Yeah There's no sense of urgency when you're in like a committed relationship. It's gone on for a long time Look a hook up. You're like, okay, we got it. You know the sun's gonna come up and yeah, I'm gonna I gotta go home. She's expecting me But if you're just like

We're gonna be together forever. Yeah, there's no urgency I think the couple's that, they plan a schedule around. Oh yeah. That's at least better than not blowing him. That's not a thought, Davis. That's what we must play. That's what we must play. It's on the calendar, at least.

You know, we started doing, we did the date night. And then at night, when we go to bed, when she goes to bed, I'm going to bed with her. That's the problem too. I'm a stand-up comic. I come home late a lot or you know when I do an I am home I stay up fucking till five in the morning anyways. So what we started to do is that when I'm home and she's I go to bed with her and we we don't watch TV we don't have a TV in the room but we don't fuck around with the phone. We just sit there and talk closely.

Wow. You know what I mean? We'll talk, we'll fuck, you know. Like so last night was, you know, I went to bed and she's like, you wanted it and I turned and she's like, right in my face, just looking at me. And you know, she was like, she was in my ear a little bit

and it was like, turn him ya on, but it was kind of tickling too. I'm like at that stage were it tickles like yeah like it And one of these girls like came into my like talked softly in my ear. Yeah, my dick would shoot out of my fucking pants Fuck like my fucking just My wife doesn't like What the fuck is that like I I'm telling you, tickles. Yeah, yeah.

And then that was my move where I could have switched over and started doing something. And I was like, I didn't shower. So, fuck it. Let me, if I go, and then I'm gonna, so it was like, fuck, it's like this process now. You can know where before you just meet a chick and you're fucking an alley.

Yeah. I think it's because we forget to hit on the person we're with. Like if you were to hit on her and treat her, like not like, oh, I don't know who that is. Nobody hit my wife? No, no, no, no. I don't know how you fucking Indian dudes do it. You do not come, you suck dick like a cheo face.

I'm gonna have a relationship. Are you really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long are you gonna be with a whiteie too? Yeah, you're, right into your face. I'm in a happy relationship. Are you really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long you been with the whiteies, dude? Yeah, you're in a fool. What the fuck is a whiteie? Yeah, white woman. White person.

We call them regular. Oh, normal. A year and a half. And like, no, it's just like you flirt with them. And I think that's what we kind of forget to do. You know what I mean? Like I think that if you do that, then it just, if you approach it through that mindset.

How long have you been with her? A year and a half. I've been with my wife over 27. No, I know, I I think that if you do that, then it just, if you approach it through that mindset. How long have you been with her? A year and a half. I've been with my wife over 27. No, I know, I'm just saying. I mean, I've known her over 20 years. I've known her. Yes, over 20 years. Wow. All my comedy life, I've known.

We've been married for going on, I don't know, eight years, nine years, I don't know what it is, nine years. So we've been together for 15 years maybe, of that, seriously, for maybe 12 of that. So, you know, we had a kid, there's a baby in the other room, you know, we both get up early as shit. You get up early?

Dude, I get up early every day. When my kid's home, I wake the fuck up. What did you got like late spot? Doesn't matter, I get up because my kid, when I wake up, I'll sleep, say that he wakes up at 7.38. I'll get up at 8.39. I'll sleep a little later, but I get up because he, duh, runs out, looks at me, smiles,

runs into my arms and holds me, and then wants me to hang, I mean, you don't sleep in that shit, existing your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then, like, you know, like an I'll go play with them. We go outside like today, I, I bottled this wood and I built them a stool so we could stand

up at the kitchen with my mom with my with his mom. And she likes to help her cook, but he would fall off a regular stool. So I built this thing that can stand on and it kind of keeps him in there. It's like a mini podium that I built. And he's out there with me. So yeah, I get up and we fuck off and do shit. Yeah, because yeah, I'm going away for five days, Thursday. And then I'm going away for 15 days in November. So I don't have, I can't, I'll never get this time back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have to fuck sleep, just wake up and do it. But, you know, I'm exhausted. You know, she's exhausted. Right. And then I go do spots that I do podcasts, whatever wake up and do it. But, you know, I'm exhausted. You know, she's exhausted. And then I go do spots that I do podcasts, whatever the fuck I do. And then you go home and it's like, fuck, you know. And I'm attracted to my wife.

My wife is still hot to me, you know. She's, she's smoking hot, but I'm, I'm starting to have dreams. I'm starting to, you know, it's like, fuck. Yeah. You know, I want, I'm, I'm, I'm saying,, you know, it's like fuck. Yeah. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, what, you know, is she gonna be like, just go, go fucking, when he's five, we'll start fucking again.

Right now, I gotta take care of him. You do, do what you do, you know what I mean? I'm Robin Tug, shouldn't be off the table. That shouldn't be, yeah. But I like kissing, man. I, Robin Tug is so unappealing. I love I've gotten one I've never gotten one I couldn't So some strange lady

I'm gonna say something. It's amazing. It's fantastic. Is it really? Do they blow you though? Depends on that would be better. But you know what in the hurt you said this one in New York with Brazilian girls I didn't I never said about Brazilian women I said that was a dream I had that was another yeah the first cars that I was with you though right yeah I was really jerking me out I was wearing a train for dr. Hanne no but they blow you that's a that's you I mean they're just reading everything you could find places to do whatever you want No, they blow you can get stuff. Yeah, cuz then you gotta worry. I mean they could blow you with the condom on

It's not you get herpes from blow jobs. Oh, yeah, yeah, you can get you've gone a re-in Clemmeria and everything from I've only gotten hand jobs. I've only gotten months. Can you die from that shit? Yeah, you can if you been past it on to your girlfriend. Look at that one. This is in 1922, okay? I'll take it as fucking gondaria. Gondaria?

Whatever the fuck. So gondaria has? No, I wouldn't want someone who blows people as an occupation. Again, talking to the microphone, I wouldn't want to. Yeah, it just helps the show. It helps everything. I know you're a sideways talker. You get some type of weird thing, but you know what?

Help me out, okay. I wouldn't recommend that. All right, well, you're a pussy. I tell you, with those things, and I haven't been doing a long time, but when I used to go to them, they did change from basically a whorehouse to a massage place that jerked off, all them back in the day. They were one above the village underground. That used to be one of the most amazing ones. Is that right? Oh, it was unfuckin' believable. Wow. Really? Oh, that was great.

What we done? Because it was all kinds of girls and then there were gorgeous. You know, you go up there and they were in evening gowns, sexy clothes because they weren't giving you a massage, they were fucking the shit out of you, whatever you wanted you pay for. So it was a $60 to get in fee, and then you negotiate the rest with the girl. I made love to a Chinese girl up there, Chubby Chinese girl that spoke English,

perfect English, hey, what's up? Your name was fucking Karen or something. And we made love. When I first moved here, I was fucking lonely. As shit, everybody was gone. I had nobody had some spot money. I went up there. She had big mushy titties. And we made love. I mean, I think we made out too. Wow. Yeah, we is a head cold. Yeah, I remember, I think I asked her to tell me that she loved me. Oh! I thought you were going to say, marry her. Yeah, sorry for say fuck whatever. We're too far.

We're too far. She doesn't blow guys. She doesn't blow guys. She only blows guys and only leaves them. Nothing hotter than me than going say it, say it, say you love me. And she goes, I love you. Say you love me. I love, oh fuck try that.

This is a one night stand. Well, no one, yeah, one night stand. Well not one day Yeah, one night stands or a chick she would bang and yeah, not not serious, but nothing harder than that. That's creepy I Want to hear I'm scared. I was gonna hear you know, it's not real It's not real so it's it's like I know she really doesn't love me She it's coming from she's saying it still saying it's like I know she really doesn't love me. Oh, she it's coming from she's saying it still saying it

And it's like this dirty. What you know what? What if they you didn't tell the girl to say that she just said it I'd fucking run. Yeah I was gonna skin me I would come in her eyes so she couldn't see me leave Another girl whisper you're funny It's like you're such a fucking comic. It's such a shitty life. Because I remember being the same way I do it. I was in love with comedy my whole first 15 years. And it fucked me from being with it.

But you have to do it. You can't. There's no way. It's very hard. Guys who do it, a girl who do it, who get married to a human and then go pursue comedy. It's very hard guys who do it, a girls who do it, who get married to a human and then go pursue comedy. Oh, yeah. It's really hard.

Oh, that's not how you. You have to be able to drop everything. Family, friends, girls, boys and say, fuck you. I'm going here for a month. I'm going here tonight. Yeah. I'm doing this and I'm hanging out here all night with these people. Yeah. And you need to do all that shit to kind of get your comedy career solidified.

Yeah, I always hear comics say they're like, ah, you know, stand up so hard in relationships. Fil stinks. The girls. The girls, the girls, they don't want like, they're pissed that I leave to do spots. Whatever, I've never had a girlfriend that hasn't been cool with me going to do shows. Is that right? Yeah, I've never had a girlfriend that hasn't been cool with me going to do shows. Is that right? Yeah, I've never had one otter a single. I think I found the happy medium. Is that like my girlfriend is a

theater director? So she understands the business. So she's just like I'm like hey I can't make it. I gotta go out and she's like wait wait to start doing road work though. Wait to this becomes your job or paid work. Wait wait to you. Hey I worked with Bob. Wait to wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you go from, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, and a half and I think that's Yeah, yeah, she was like you know, she was fine with the whole thing because she gets it by me I don't know I could she could be blowing other guys what do I know? Well, I'm gonna tell you right now Here's a place for India. She's a photo. What about a picture of blowing the stuttering comma? I'd email him for opening work. Is your girlfriend a chubby Asian woman?

No Bushy tits I'd email him for opening work. Is your girlfriend a chubby Asian woman? No. That's her name, Karen. Bushy tits. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

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Because I'm bobbed to the K to the motherfucking Y Cali. I freestyle on the mic. I like my balls lick not from a dyke from a woman who likes the push, push run. Like that dick dick in her muff puts it in her face, mushes it around. Licks that motherfucker hunks, mine, gnome says, yo, you're a clown. Hmm. Whoops, fucked up a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A black guy threw a beat on that one. Skips, skips, skips, skips. Sorry. We're back. Sorry for the weird, whatever. I had a guy last week say, we were talking about these zeitgeist and about how, you know,

all religions are from the same religion and the Sun and But when he it's so funny because he goes on Twitter and he they went you know like we say stuff on here I'll see this thing and I'll just say it like it's fact because that's what I know and it's my show and I you know I'm not I'm political figure. I'm not a scientist. I don't give a fuck, I tell jokes and, you know, there you go. So, I told him, and we were talking about those and he goes, I can't believe you guys really took, you know, like, it's been proven wrong

and it's like, dude, who the fuck you? We're just talking. Yeah. So, you know what, then fucking, don't be such a contibaut. Just say, dude, you were wrong last week, and here's the right information. Check this out. And then we'll talk about that. And then I'll be like, hey, I was wrong.

And this guy, cool dude, sent me some shit. And he wasn't a fucking passive-aggressive contibaut. It was actually trying to inform me and help me further my knowledge as a fucking human being and evolve. You know, so. We're so angry out there. I don't know. They're very angry.

Don't be so angry. Yeah. As far as that shitty emotional response, I can't believe them. Yeah. It's like, dude, what the fuck, man? Believe it. Yeah, I'm a fucking criminal from Boston that could learn how to tell a dick joke and act a little bit.

Relax. I'm not giving you know religious advice. I am, but it's probably wrong. So fuck off. The sun made the fucking the sun and the Jesus and the good drink this drinking wake up tomorrow with the But you don't, you put the budget. Dude, you do the worst Cosby ever, you should leave that to Dan Soda. I can't believe it. Like a douchebag. Anyways, we're back for the second hour of the YKWD. Last one was fucking fun, which talked about, like more. We talked about that.

All kinds of shit. And then we got into some sex. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna go back then. Yeah, well Laurie Well, it's funny that she you know, it does you know comedy really just fucking sh it doesn't grow lesbian gay straight You just it's the same ammo for every comic we all have that same thing we just most of us there's a few of us who marry and find a girlfriend and you know whatever but most of us just fucking want to do shows and just get laid when we can and I call it sweet love but yeah you call it sweet love I can't picture you talking dirty no No, no, I can't pitch you going you fucking I can't pitch you grind your teeth. Please tell me you love me It's like look at me

Look at me say it say what so you fucking love me fucking love you force love on to them Yeah, I force it I steal it because I never got it as a kid Fuck you, man. What's it gonna say? So anyways, Chris calls me up. It was pretty weird and I would love your opinion on this. Chris calls me up and says, hey, can I talk about something on the show? And I was like, absolutely. And it's kind of controversial and I'm gonna blow somebody out of the water. I'm gonna really talk about what somebody fucked me I was like even more so because if I especially if it's you know I love that shit if you believe in it as long as you're cool with it

So why don't you tell people what the fuck it is? Alrighty so yeah, I want to say the guys name you because I need opinions because It's the first time it's something I would like you to work harder Right as much to your shoulder hurts Once I get a neck in you really got made it yeah, so I had an idea for like a pilot So I brought it to somebody he was like, oh, it's actually really really funny. I met up him a couple times Don't trust him. Yeah, man. I'm a couple times You showed him the pilot what happened and then I met out and

he brings in a third party person you want to keep going you want to bend down for that one met up with the third person we got like character analysis down and then they went plot it that's actually what I like here what I'm having sex. Oh my God. Can you call him and give him the... In the middle of your story?

Yeah, it's fine. Hang on. Dr. Steve. Steve. Hey man, you're on the podcast live right now, but I'm going to have somebody send you the Skype number. Oh, okay. Can you hear everybody?

Hey, hey. I'm here. Hello, Dr. Smith. All right, so Chrissy is gonna call you back and give you the Skype number. I'm gonna text him. I'll take your time. He's gonna text you right now, the Skype number,

and then you can call back in on the Skype, okay? Well, just give us a couple of minutes. We're gonna turn the Skype on and all that shit All right, cool. What were you calling for anyways? Well, I'm just gonna debrief about my comedy Oh, I'll fuck that. I thought you were calling about the About the zeitgeist shit. I thought you were listening. You're not even listening to the show All right, you know what go fuck yourself. I'll call you later. Nobody's sending you anything. Good. I love you, buddy Can you get herpes from a blowjob?

That's what I was gonna. Steve Steve Steve. Oh, yeah, you can totally Obviously, what about gonorrhea or chlamydia? Can you get gonorrhea or chlamydia from it? There's no D Yeah, you can how common is that? Can you get pregnant uncommon really like uncommon? No, no, you can't get pregnant, but it's okay. So herpes Yep, oral herpes is very common. Yeah, no, you're looking at your fuck in 70% of people have oh my god, they can shed virus anytime, but if you get oral herpes on your dick or on your vagina, it's just an anus. It's much less likely to cause a, you know, multiple recurrence. All right. You're gonna make it. Now, but what about a chlamydia and gonorrhea? How common is that from oral sex?

You're a bull. I was in count. For someone to get chlamydia or gonorrhea in their mouth, they would have had to have had oral sex with somebody that had chlamydia or gonorrhea on their penis or vaginal. So then they, yes, then they could transmit that through oral sex.

So that must be common to though right no it's very uncalled so it's harder to get it through oral sex and it would be regular sex that would be it would be much less likely oh okay well time for a check on the way to get it so let me ask like kid and girl below you, hold your sperm in her mouth and then later cup it in her, spit it in her hand and then push it in her vagina and get pregnant. Not impossible. You remember, you have 250 million sperm in each love.

I gotta go. The end time in her saliva will kill some of it but it won't kill it all. Wow. Holy moly. What does it mean? If you want to press you to tell you, she loves you. Right. Technically, Paul.

No. I really need to go. Okay. Thank you, buddy. Thanks, Dr. Stafed. We're medicine everybody. Check it out on ryecast.com. And I'm going to be going down there to do a gig in his neck

of the woods. I think when is it marked? Yeah, check out our website ETNcomedy.com ETN like East Tennessee comedy.com. Yeah, it's fucking great. We just did Jim Forrantine and it was fucking awesome so that we're really looking forward to the next one. Yeah, me, me, make it me. Yeah, that is, it's you.

I will, you know, Mark and fill a fucking on the way up. Yeah I Mean people walked out saying that was great and we can't wait to see Bobby So people are excited about there you go. All right, buddy. We'll talk to you later. I'll see you Okay, we'll see you. Bye Okay, um, all right here we go. So anyways, um Chris, why don't you take over from here all right? You call me up and you have something to say so I had to miss I wrote a I have an idea for pilot I got character analysis down

If you point a show ideas how the three characters in the show I have all that down I meet with somebody He's like, yeah, it's cool. He brings another person. He's like this is actually a good idea It kind of just goes like dead after a while someone got something. He got something So it was like over it was like I still have all the stuff on my computer So I go online yesterday and it's a web series about the same exact thing Same exact the same people tied to it what the guy that the third person that was brought in is tied to it Oh, you're fucked so no he said I talked him, I talked to another guy that was in it. He goes, yeah, we had an audition for it. And that's how I got it.

It wasn't my project. I auditioned for it and I got the role. Initially, I was like, this is bullshit because the first like 30 seconds, he does a bit, that's a bit in his act. So that's why I was like, oh, he wrote this. That's his act so that's why I was like oh he wrote this yeah that's his act right there he's saying he just wrote up some punch lines to punch lines to it so I was like when you got this didn't you didn't I click that you something like this he's

like not totally forgot about it until the second party message him saying what the fuck yeah so I was like I don't know if I'm like this is a huge coincidence or it's a fucking We hear the idea or is it okay? It was already it's already out there right already out there Yeah, did you have it on the computer? Is it all set it to go? No, I got it that got it But the show I had it was called movers It's about a moving company. Hey, hey, can I say it? Stubbery real quick the show I have is called YKD, and I asked you to have that ready to go, right? He did, yeah.

Okay, go ahead. I didn't know if I want to blow the guy out of the water, or I wanted to get your opinions on it. No, no, no, no. That's what I had in my mind. So you don't know if you want to blow him out of the water? I mean, this is fucking blowing him out of the water. I don't know if this is, I'm not saying the guy's name.

I don't know if it's coincidence, or it's, it's or it's a well it's one out of three people that you're thinking about and it's pretty easy to go. It's pretty easy to go. Well if you why wouldn't he win the idea you don't hear that many ideas. I mean I gotta say I've written a couple and one of bones was about moving furniture. I don't know this is what this is about. My roommate it was writing a script about moving furniture. Yeah I actually have a show coming out on FX next year Moving for Gary Vita in the stuttering killed Movers and they never get a gig because he goes how much is it to move? And then the show ends and they can't lift anything. Yes

Thank you for helping with that joke That was falling flat. Yeah, it was so yeah, that's why I didn't want to say anything and I was in his name. Because you now, you said you had an idea about that. You said you had something else. No, I mean, my roommate was working on this. I mean, because the comics are generally moved. Generally moved.

Yeah, I've used to, I moved for like six months. And, you know, yeah, I moved for inter-two. Yeah, I've moved into houses. Because I'm a good com. I got the idea when we moved me and Lou has moved you into your house. First of all, let's talk about that. The idea should have been this, guys who break shit when they move. I have a fucking, literally a thousand dollar table.

That's the next episode. A thousand dollar table. It's just big episode. That was a thousand dollar table. It's just big wood table and it comes up, it's just an amazing table. I see these two fucking apes are dragging it on the ground because it's too heavy. So they're dragging it, it's like it's fucking cement. Yeah. And they're dragging and I'm like, what the fuck? Oh, we're just gonna and I'm like what the fuck oh we're just gonna I'm like what you fucking scraping wood on cement yeah there's no it's been it's been sanded it's been treated it's been stained now it took fucking three and a half weeks to make this fucking table somewhere I bought it it's been perfect

two moves you two fucking apes. Grab it and literally drag it on the on the driveway. That was Lewis. You were on the other end. He said he got it. Wait, did Lewis deal the idea? And then I literally just found a piece of glass for this table that I had I just found it one of these fucking assholes put it in a box then they had nothing to do with glass table top I literally was like what the fuck is this doing in here one of these fucking assholes just stuck it in a box and I just found it a little a week ago there you go these are my friends so you got a pile about moving furniture not a character similar These are my friends. So you got a pile about moving furniture

Not a character similar They're all the same Good Could be but yeah the characters are similar then Yeah, you gotta like sometimes like I've were like you hear an idea and then you just The premise itself could be, but yeah, if the characters are similar then. Good question. And the guy really questions. You've got to like sometimes like, I've were like, you hear an idea and then you just don't think about it and then like some,

we're down the road, you write something and it's similar to that idea because it's in your subconscious. Not to say that it's like how long do you do it? How long do you do it? About a year ago. Okay, there's no way this guy took this idea. There's no way.

Okay, if you hear something in passing, if you're not involved, if you're directly involved of it, you're one of the three guys that was in on this conversation of an idea for a show. And then a year later, you have a web series about the same fucking idea. And you have a scene in there that he thought of, okay?

Right? There's the scene in the web series that he came up with. Yes. And you've given him no credit. Yeah. Or even said, hey bro, I made this. That's the one that you fucking stole it. You fucking deliberately took it.

You're in a room, pitching shit. You had nothing. This came, I like it. But you didn't want to fucking go back to this fucking mook and involve him and it. So you just went and did it and you took his idea. I mean, none of the ideas are funny, so they're doing you a favor. What's, no, what's funky? Would you know it?

Yeah, of course. You do. Yeah, I mean, if I think, if I'm like 75% certain, I know what I'm watching, what I just saw recently, then I think it is what it is. It's not funny It's no it's not I watched an episode and I was like this is a trochus I just stop talking to him for a while But it's I would see him in passing. I would this is we don't like talking how did this go away? We just he got something and then the other guy got something and said we kind of just dead it down

And I have another idea that I was working on for the before a while So I still have the idea in it and I was like oh the the the other guy got something and said we kind of just dead it down. I have another idea that I was working on for a while. So I still have the idea in it. And I was like, oh, the fact guy, I was like, oh, Stavros would be a good guy for the fact guy because he's younger. What the fuck about me? You're too old to be a mover. You're doing well. I knew it.

We didn't get picked up yet. So the moving thing I could see, because that's a common job for comics to do in New York City. I think you should move out of New York and get a moving job in another city. I could see like hour two of people moving if they're a comic. Oh, this would be a show, but the thing that's weird

is that if the guy is working on it, he doesn't at least reach out to you and say, hey, now this is crazy, but it's a common idea, but I'm working on this thing. It's really similar to yours. That was a thing when I said that to him, I was like, didn't you, didn't hit your mind? Yeah, he goes, I didn't even think about it. It's a set at least.

There's no way. Ah, man, that's scary. Laurie, calm down. Yeah, Laurie, seriously. Fucking deeper with that. Fucking off. Oh, I'm in the showbiz. Yeah, seriously. Fucking deeper with that fucking hole. Oh, I'm the show business. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So what's the scene? It's a web series they have with. Are you narrating it? Because it's fucked if it. That wasn't bad. You can go on. I stole it. Yeah, you're supposed to.

No, yeah, yeah. That roast battle really rattled my confidence. That wasn't bad. You can't go wrong. I stole it. Yeah, you're supposed to. No, yeah, yeah. That rose battle really rattled my confidence. So. Us too. So, I mean, you want me to bring it up? I can. Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's mad.

I don't think you need to bring it up, because it's too late now. It's going to take too long, and I'm going to be frustrated at you, Chrissy. And I don't want to get mad at you. So let's just move on. What I think is this. Was it bought by anyone?

Yeah. Yes. Oh! Damn that sucks. So let's just move on what I think is this was it bought by anyone? Yeah, oh And a big company too really and a big company Now that guy's telling me he went into the audition and I spoke to another guy that did it He's like yeah, we had an audition for it. Right Just say who can you just say who bought it cable money optimum I believe often Oh What I have to give a blow job you know what I really I'm really trying to kill any attraction anybody had for you in this room Doing it. There's nothing worse Kristen the chick who doesn't blow

if a girl doesn't like a blowjob I literally want to stay all day all the time I'm gonna bring this up next to her ass I approach it it's gonna go back to sex yeah do you have scenes like written out and stuff like that in our even e-mails? we have character plot points, ideas, ideas like secret scenes. Yeah, there's just a script with her name crossed out. I got me at the top.

And it didn't really change the name of it. My name was Movers. Yeah, and there's his unmovers. Right? Is that what it's called? Yeah, yeah. So I don't know if it's a huge coincidence. It's not a coincidence.

The guy that you came, look, did he have the idea? No, I did. Did you come up with some of the scenes that are in the show? Yeah. You're wasting the end. Okay, the guy wrote it. Did you want to write it? Did you want to credit it?

Yeah. No, it didn't give credit to the end of it. Okay, here's a deal. That guy's involves You fucking pitch that to him a year ago with somebody you need to I mean look to you may not be necessarily involved because if he's an actor in it But he's not a writer in it. Yeah, but he's not a writer in it necessarily Well, he must be contributing because he opens with one of his jokes That's what I was yeah, he opens it with one of his bits. Oh, oh, that's okay

What I think you need to confront this guy. Yeah, he opens up. We want his bits. Oh, that's a good one. Okay. You think you need to confront this guy. Yeah. And Mark Norman needs to get off his phone. Sorry, sorry. Let's give it up. Who's it?

Amy. I get it. It was about her. Oh, is she just, uh, but the book? Yeah. Yeah, she just ain't. First of all, congratulations to Amy Schumer. Well, I don't want to take it away from Schumer.

I want to just say that really quick. Take it. I haven't said it. I want to say. Her new book's I haven't said it. I want to take your new book movers is coming out Yeah, yeah, it's about a movie Yeah, he is fucking killer on fire. Yeah, he is This from all of us She got a new book deal. She had a new book deal, but congratulations.

She wanted to be God bless her. She's one of us. She's unbelievable. She's killing it. It's a good for her. But I think that you should definitely say some, Chris. You know, I did talk to the guy yesterday. What did he say?

And he said, I had an audition for this. It wasn't my project. I had an audition for it. And to contribute your lines Uncredited is like the real shitty thing to do that was the thing that that's why I'm like wait You're that's your bit in the beginning of the fucking show. Yeah, so we can you do that So he said he's he contributed to the he added to the scene. They were like oh, let's do added your idea It sounds like right let's he's like let's do like they would just go off the cuff thing so he said I did that Well the cuff kind of thing and the whole one scene where like they're trying to get food was part like

My thing was my thing was with the fact I has IBS and he just eats and then shit's right away And that's like the funny thing in it. Who did you read the fact I after? I'm about I'm about to lose my shit. Um, how you mad? I'm mad. No, I don't know. I'm the best. Can't you see it?

It was the kid of mover, the kid who got it. I want to get back to blow jobs. No. How do you get back there? That's funny. She doesn't. Yeah, I know. That really fucking bugs me, man.

Sorry. I mean, it just, it's just. I can't imagine. Yeah, I don't like it. Being with, I've never been with anyone who's not a gung-hole for that. Moving? Look at that.

That was lost. BJ's bug-a-dung. LBJ, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. I got to yell clear from the doctor. He said you can't get anything. So love a bee. Love a ball wash. Whatever you got. What's a ball wash? Just lickin' the doctor. He said you can't do anything love a bee love a ball wash whatever you got

What's a ball? Just lick in the balls Cleaning them yeah with a tongue And then lick the balls Who's doing it your aunt? Yeah, and Jenny so no ball play would that be right if you don't give blow jobs You't. There's no interaction with the testicles. If there's a beach, there's a ball. Yeah. There's a beach. There's a ball. There's a beach. There's a ball. I'm really off on this, but hey. All right, take me a couple minutes. Let's put my password every time. If I'm going down its A game style. Oh, four. Oh god. God bless you.

She's showing up. But, what? It's showing up. But I'm not going down. You're not. So, like, is it annually? Or what do I have to look forward to? No, is it annually?

She's like a football season. 16 times easier than that. Really? One's here. The anniversary of birth, that. You say annually, or annually? Definitely, birth day, maybe an anniversary. People's a annual urinal. Definitely birthday maybe an anniversary. Deepu just told me to stop.

Deepu has never told me anything on the show because it's my fucking show and he literally went, comment, stop, stop. I'm done with my... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Laurie Bulwash. What do you think? I can't imagine you being anywhere near a cock. But try to pick it all up. I think first of all, Laurie is beautiful. Very attractive. I mean, very pretty. I mean, top echelon of beautiful stand-up comedians.

Good looking boy. You got great cans. But no. She's a comic. She's having a good time. She's married so I got to get off her. Get off me. She wears you back in with that. She does suck you back in the dirty When she said my pillow fills like wait, what do you mean your pillow?

Yeah, and you got excited and it was just a body only sucking she does Are you single? Oh, there you go. Oh, there you go. He's got his friend. My girlfriend had it. Are you single? No, wow. Are you single, Mark? Oh, yeah. Are you single? No, no, no. I'm like a year and a half.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Deep weep. Yeah, I'm very single. Very single. Okay, so I feel bad, because we keep getting, I think. I think, if you want my opinion professional opinion Because he's a professional thief the idea the idea is I think it's would be common among your comics But if there is a scene that you wrote I

Mean that can't be the that seems like it has to be part of your idea, right? The scene was the I was like that they they fuck around with the packages. They play like games Basically like like football. That's the preview to the next episode. Yeah Not football. It's like The kick in the back boxes around I do like you did with Bobby's table you did with Bobby's table. What? Can you pass the paper?

I can trip for that. I've never had the four episodes ever. I've never really been this. Do me a favor, put some ice in it and put it on your shoulder. I feel like you got to have this for a while. This doesn't seem right. Dibu is going to be upset.

I'm new to New Heroes. Why, you just deserved it more. He was talking about, he was talking about Miss, Miss, I'm using the movie might cover off Yeah, yeah, and I was comparing it to the treatment you gave Bobby's table which affected me. I care about your stuff Your Canadian Bobby Listen Phil here's a deal. Yeah, I'm gonna ask you question one. I'm gonna go through Do you think Christian out this guy's name? Um, is he gay?

No. Can I? What? He said it's a gay. Okay. Um, I don't know. No, I don't. It might cause more shit than it's worth.

I would definitely talk to him and just say, hey, I am not. Just explaining to me how this happened. I don't know. I would want to talk to him again before I would just. Because this guy is gonna hear this. Oh, yeah. I I'm gonna hear this and he's gonna know it's him But the people listening I don't know could actually go and a fucking tack him. Yeah on Twitter and fake whatever Yeah, it's find out about this guy I mean any question in your mind that there is I mean it is a quite I could see people coming up with the idea of the show

I could see I would if there's any question in your mind, because it's such a shitty thing to be accused of stealing an idea. Yeah, I don't want to. Yeah, then don't, if there's any question in your mind that what happened. There is a question in my mind. Yeah, but it's not worth it.

One thing is, you should have gave me a heads up. No, you should have stolen it. Do you have a written, anything written? I just have character analysis and plot points. Well, if you have no proof, then you have to do like a man-to-man thing, like just like a, you know, a cordial, you know, you write something with somebody. You always have to keep meeting notes.

Yeah, you have to have somebody, this is what we talked about, this is who brought this up, this is an idea, so you have all this stuff. Anytime I've ever done something with somebody, we have notes Even if it's a phone conversation. I'll keep notes of what the fuck was said and what we have to do What ideas so I can go back and say to it. I have this is the date here it is. I saved it We came up with this here are the ideas and you could yeah, I didn't know that I was just like I was like two guys

I know it's just cool. We can work on it again I had no idea maybe just take a hit on this one first wall it was not it seems like everybody's done this idea right yeah I think like hundreds of comics in New York City have moved and I guarantee not a single one of them haven't haven't thought have you not moved or spoken oh yeah why is it quiet you quiet anyways I'm very quiet I'm just introverted person. You are right? Yes, you sit at the table and you're very quiet Yes, is that just you? Yeah, well it depends I guess it calls me the longest here. So yeah, I don't mean I'm pretty quiet

But then if I'm comfortable around you then I'll start talking No, you don't take so long time. She's not comfortable. people. I've never come to a world I'm afraid. I remember saying goodbye to her. It's either like, in a number of like four years. It's like a hug or a handshake and it's awkward. What the fuck? Why are you like that? I don't know.

We have no like, there's no family. Do they love you? They do. What are you? You're Italian Irish and you got a good family? Yeah. And they love you. They do. They're good. What are you Italian? Italian Irish. You're Italian Irish and you got a good family. Yeah. And they love you. Yeah, they do. But you have a hard time communicating feelings towards people. Yeah, I'm not the same way though. Yeah, but very much so. You're so much. I'm not trying to relate to her. Please. I'm trying to get her an ally here in this room.

He's saying somebody. Yeah, she's with somebody. She wants nothing to do with fucking her as a fucking guy. He's gonna be in a mover show. You know what I'm saying? Were you nervous to come on here? No, not really. Yeah, good. Yeah, I'm a friend. I'm friendly with you, I guess.

I'm not a friend, but yeah, you are very quiet. So basically, you're not comfortable with us. Now, I wouldn't say I'm at my maximum comfort level. But it doesn't change much when she does. Like it's not, you're not going to notice like an increased warmth. It's just kind of big. Why are you dead inside? I don't know.

I don't know why. This is the way I have no idea. So it's been, I mean, I'm, I'm, a lot of people who find I do stand up that knew me from when I was younger. I just completely shocked that I I do stand up that knew me from when I was young I was just completely shocked that I even talked about. Lori and I pretty much started together around the same place at the same time in LaFalle. And she was in the clubs real quick and it was hysterical. And I remember when I got there, she was just like every handshake was just a strange

answer. I know you. Yeah, the dead fish. And it's just like, no, I can't do my handshake. I just don't know what if I should give a handshake was just a fucking strange answer. I know you. Yeah, the dead fish. And it's just like, no, I can't burn handshake. I just don't know what, I don't know if I should give a handshake. Right, and I get that. I get that. I'm talking with that too.

I never know it's a zero. I don't know. Are you tomboy? Are you a tomboy? Yes. So, all right. So you're not like with the person you're seeing. I don't know.

You like dudes, right? Yes. Okay. But I don't know how to ask that. Because you could be in the chicks. Sure, of course. Yeah, no, I get the lot. I get the lot.

You talk about that, my ex. I don't want to be rude at all. But you do, I thought you were a weird thing. I thought, you got it less than you in five? Is that what it is? Yes, I do. I don't want to be rude, but I thought Mark Norman's mom was a cut Yes, but I you know, I was like oh she pro you could be I thought maybe you might be a lesbian

Yeah, no a lot of my family members still think that why you're not alone What is that? Oh, they don't really like ever dating way for a long time I don't bring boyfriend's home. So they're just like convinced and I like black guys. I have no yes You did black eyes well, I did a one my guys. I like it's You was good looking dude that was a good looking dude Well, well, she's a good looking girl. Yeah, no, no, it's yeah, all right. So it's just you you're just this is me I'm just connected emotionally. Yeah, I guess you don't Comics are well, but you know, I look I'm I'm we are disconnected emotionally absolutely

But she's a little like she's not a shake hands or right? That's something different. I know how to shake hands That's something different. I know how to shake hands. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. connected emotionally. Yes. You can be distant. Really? You can be a little bit of a from Mark. Oh yeah, I guess I can be a little real close. Yeah, yeah. You look at you. You look like you just fucking got rescued off an island.

I guess I do have a bit of a rugged appearance. Anybody who writes for nine hours and hurts her shoulders probably a little bit. There you go. There she is. Look at that.

A fine iron. Wow. There we go. There she is. Look at that. A fine iron. Wow. There we go. Wow. That is really hostile. Lori just grew a cut hair. Woo.

That's real. Ah. Ah. Do you drink, Lori? I do, yes. You can load it. You should get loaded. We got some Jamison here.

You guys want a shot? No. No, I'm good.ison here. You guys want a shot? No. Oh, no, I'm good. Are you sure? You want a shot? You want a shot? I'm fine. You don't drink, do you?

Occasionally. I can't. I can't. I don't blow jobs. I'm fine. Drinking alone, like some fucking good boy. Do you drink before you blow? Always.

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. She's like you, Chris. Yeah. Exactly. Ah. Ah. Ah. Well, that is, I mean, you are a very quiet person, but I'm glad that you actually come out and said that because it's, I'm sitting here like, you know, I look, I let anybody

do it. They want to do on the show. You want to talk, you want to talk. I'm not going to force somebody to, hey, you're not saying enough. I don't get it. I love it when people just what they are on the show. Yeah. You know, now we kind of know a little bit about you that you're uncomfortable around humans. I love it when people just what they are on the show. You know, now we kind of know a little bit about you that you're uncomfortable around humans.

Yeah, basically. Are you trying to get over theotherapy or something? No, no, I can't afford therapy. I do comedy. That's how I do it. What is your show? I mean, you can't fix this. It's just shy. That's what it is. It's a shy, isn't more than that.

You're guarded. I'm not always... I think it more than that? I don't know. I think it's introverted. I don't think she's shy. I think she's just a little awkward, but not like shy. It's like a different. And it's definitely awkward. I don't think you're that awkward.

No. I don't think you're awkward. I think you're quite. Yeah. You're hard work. It's quite. No. No.

You're awkward. Why don't you? I think you don't think I'm awkward because this is what I look like like if I looks if you ugly like Phil you would think I was awkward I said ugly before she's Still The process means spirit Like I think because I'm like a non-threatening female people are like, oh, she's just like, if I was a dude, like people think I was creepy, I feel like. Here's a problem with you. Here's a problem with you.

Here's a problem with you. You're hot. That's a problem. Is that the case with you or the... I'm talking to you, Phil. Nothing for me. I don't like to bang the chick from the bad news bears listen Timely referenced I know I think

Yeah, you're you're a pretty girl you're you're beyond pretty. You're really you're attractive. You're hot Thank you, so but you're also quiet Which you know doesn't in especially, which doesn't go with that. Usually hot chicks, whatever. But you're very quiet, but you're not an asshole. You don't come across as a weirdo at all. When you do talk, you're actually kind of cool. You're a fucking unique girl.

Yes, a unique girl. Yeah, unique girl. Take that as a compliment. Yeah, it's a compliment And the green room she's always throwing it back when we were there like she was you know when you'd come around her way So it's good as always fun. Yeah, just take some five years for her to get to know you So let's make this day and let's get her back on Three time two years. It'll take some time. I'll talk more eventually

Yeah, can't wait. I really look forward to it. Bated breath. She's going to show up one night with some famous actor. I know. And we're all going to be like, yeah, she stinks. If I get an actor, definitely. You're not ever getting into acting.

Are you kidding me? Do you act? Yes. I'm still seeing right now. Let's work on one together. No, I do, yeah. All right. A bunch of movers.

Hello. Hey, no! What's up? Are you still almost at it? It's deep loose. You got to cut them this much. There's a chunk of room. Like a curry.

Yeah. OK. I used one that I've been able to conservative on the slack that we just cut them. Yeah. Okay. I used to want that off you. You might be more conservative on the slack that we just cut him, but okay. Yeah. All right, well back to Chris' thing, just to wrap that up.

Yeah, please. I think you let it go. I think you let it go because you're not, when you called me up, he was, hey, can I fucking blow somebody up? I want to fucking really. That's that Queen's scumbag. Well, yeah, yeah, it's what it is.

I would never let somebody kind of go off the deep end with they're gonna regret it because I'm not you know a race in this fucking show. Yeah. He's your an idiot. But I was like, yeah, absolutely. You sure you want it? Yep. I want to do it. Now you kind of you thought about it a little bit. Yeah, I thought about it for a while. And now you're backing off. And if he said he saw it, it's not that funny. But here's you now from now on, you know, in the next time you write something with somebody, you know, whenever that happens.

I will mark it down, yeah. You need to fucking take notes, man. I didn't know that. Email those notes to yourself, and what you do with that, you timestamp them. Now you can bring that in the court and go, this email was sent out into the fucking universe back to my house and here it is. It's not like you could make it up like a word doc, you know what I mean? You actually emailed yourself this shit, you know.

A lot of people emailed themselves, I emailed themselves a script and that's actually a way of saying, look this is my idea. I emailed it to myself at this time it came to me and Here's a stamp from the government saying bam here it is There you go. Yeah, I mean bird christian had the same problem the movie van wilder was about him Yeah, he got no credit at all and he had a decision like oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna sue these guys. Yeah, but yeah that movie was funny Yeah, that movie was hilarious. And if Bert was the star and sent a Ryan Reynolds. Well, but I love Bert, but Ryan Reynolds is a man. Yeah, he's what happened with Captain America. Oh, shit. All right. Let's wrap

up the show with this. Oh boy. Basically, a year ago I met Chris. Chris in his words. I call him Chris, just Chris. You guys do what you got to do. I call him the H. I mean, he doesn't like that. He told me. Steve Lips.

No, he doesn't like that either. Just Chris. But a year ago, I met him at the comics come home, and I told the whole story on the show last week that we uh... you know he he can get you number of we are yeah absolutely and he texted me that night and then i texted him back and i i fucked up everybody was like you know don't don't text them back just wait

let him well like two three days yeah like wait a couple days it's like a chick finger right yeah it it's over dick. I was swingers Don't get so I gotta text that night. This is Evans My god, you call him Chris. Yeah, so I call you Chrissy. Okay. Um don't have a district back So I I text back that night great great meeting, dude. Like we went to some... I don't know what that was.

That's just cut out. Yeah, everything just... The whole... everything just cut out. Can we stop for... no, are we still on? Yeah, we're still going. Oh man, that was close. Wow, everything just... I mean, Mike, did you hear that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it literally... we get to hook that thing up. Yeah. Because that's... that's that, at this time of the day, something happens here, that someone turns on a machine in this place at five something, and it literally stops the building. Oh, I thought it was deep, who made two good jokes, the computer was,

no, fuck it, I get. Overlaid. But anyways, I texted him, great meeting, dude, like a douche, and I'm like, no, it's you, I forgot to put the fucking you great meeting you do Should have put the you after it though. I'm a fight. I panicked it didn't happen. So cut to a year later a year I never heard back after the great meeting dude never Well, you don't be friends with that guy. I do my mom what's it? Oh your mom's a I told you what she is

I do my mom what's up. Oh your mom's a I told you what she is I'm not gonna repeat it because I don't want to be me but So honey All right, now I just looked at her she just looked at me and I was like oh my god So anyways here we go so last week we're we have shilty and Chris the staffer now and Jim Cerebral and Tom Sillet we have a packed room week we were, we have Shilty and Chris, the staff of now and Jim Cepagro and Tom Sly, we have a packed room and we're talking on town. They're like, you, I'm like, I'm gonna text him.

He's like, you know, you know, you're show, you don't fuck, you text him a picture of a big black dick. That's what he text him and he'll text you back. And I'm like, no. Right, Lori. So we decide I'm gonna text text him a picture fuck you. So I send it. I send him the picture you fuck you.

And then 20 minutes underneath it though. 20 minutes later, show to girls you have to say, Ron Chris, sorry, what's up, bro? How you doing, blah, blah. Oh, okay. So I send, oh shit, Ron Chris, how you doing? Evan, you going to comics come home this year That 1203 that night. Hmm. Ha

Working in Georgia But trying to make it back you doing it this year You a question you're like, oh, she likes me. So I reply on my own, by the way, because it brings me to what time? What time did you apply back? Right away. Next day, next day, 12 o'clock, who will cost the money.

I have shit to do. Yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm on a show, too. Yeah, you got to not fuck your wife. Right. Ha, ha, ha. Will. Yeah, you gotta not fuck your wife. Right. Ha ha ha. Wiff. Wiff.

Wiff, yeah, too real. We're fucking, we're just not fucking, you know. Uh huh. Uh huh. I just fucked a chicken of train, that's all. All right, all right. I had to pull out, not of my wife. Ha ha ha.

I had to pull out of CC show this year. Got a big tour in Canada. Ooh, it's great. But then I go, it sucks because I didn't put because, I'm an idiot. It sucks. It sounds like the tour I'm on sucks, but I'm saying it sucks.

Missing it. But I forgot to put because these guys are on the Congress Cormon. But I wrote, it sucks. Ray Romano, Louis CK and that motherfucker Steve Sweenier on it. He thinks it's my tour because I think it writing. You yell at me for not proofreading. You got a proof. You got a better first of all. First of all, I'm your text when you're texting Captain Macaron. I'm really superhero. How's this? I

stop text messing famous people. Okay, because I shouldn't because I'm an idiot. That sounds like a good girl. But he goes, damn man, well that's a solid tour. He grats. Oh man. So now are you the type back? No, no, no, no. No. No, he's open.

Leave it, leave it. Leave it. Leave it. He's not going to follow up on this. Yeah. Who'd be listening? Let him. There's a lot of downtime when you kept an Amerigrond set.

Yeah. If you invite him on the show That's what he wants to do on the one KWD. Yeah, let's do that. Let's just have it out finally. Let's just I'm with some damn I'm gonna get Chris Evans on this fucking box. I think it's a bad idea. Why? Hey, we got Chris Evans Monroe Martin Greenboast We got Chris Evans. We got Chris Evans. We got Mark Norman all right. I've been and we got Chris Evans, we got Mark Anormon. All right, I've been. And we got Phil Hanley.

You much star power. We got fucking, that's it, we got Mark Norman. She's too quiet and he's gonna want a banger. Right. I got nothing. You're gonna bring up comic book shit. Yeah, I'm gonna read comic books. I'm gonna go find it.

Bobby, when are you sending a big text like that? Why don't you just get someone to buy it? I don't, I just stop. He can't even send his address. How's he gonna send another people? I would get, I'm just like, I thought that was good. If I was sending someone to text beyond a close friend that I text all the time, I would say,

I'm like, hey, can you prove read that? I know, I know. I know, I'm gonna do that from now on. My girlfriend never ever ever ever ever ever ever never ever ever ever ever never send anything. This is stopped again. Are we still going? Yeah, we're still going.

Like, God, what's happening to this place? I'm never going to do it again. It's never going to happen again. What's just, what's just, what's just, you again? Oh, you think it's going to happen? If he, what have he said, I want tickets. I'll get them. I'll do it.

Yeah, of course. How are you going to get Ray Romano on the tour with you? Not on that one. Not on that one. Not more. Yeah, that's what I was wondering. Fucking Chris, huh? Yeah. I threw it.

Yeah, I just got that right in there. Well, there you go. But we were friends again, and then I ruined it again. So now we're kind of off. We're on and off again. Yeah. We're on again, off again. Better than nothing.

We're trying to work it out. All right, well listen, let's wrap up the show. It's been a great show. You guys are awesome. Thanks, come on. You have fun. Yeah, this is hilarious. You're the first time on. Right. Fantastic. Thank you. You're the first time on. Yes. You did great. Now that we know who you are. Well, I know that you're fucking cool. So you're in at the seller. Didn't call him Quing again. Yes. That's huge. Wow. My favorite comic makes me wonder. No, does like belongs. No, no, your friends with what did you guys mean?

I met on the island originally because he goes out there all the time and does all those clubs. So when he's like working on his show, it opened for my bunch. That's great. Good. I love Quing. He's the best. So thank you for both coming on. I hope you had fun. I hope you come back on again, and I hope maybe in five years you feel comfortable enough Hopefully we'll take five years maybe now you come back maybe like two years All right, so let's go around the room. We're gonna start with you when and what when does this come out? Let's come out Next Sunday. Yeah, not this Sunday coming up next Sunday. Yeah, I don't

know, man. Yeah, yeah, we're we're we're we're had a schedule in these right because of the popularity of the show. Yeah, of course. Okay. Sorry. No, no, no, no, no, you don't have gigs booked. I mean, I'm going to be in Boston and October. I will fucking tell them all you shit, buddy. If you actually go to KC Aurora.com, you can find details for all the shows and all the upcoming events also the nice podcast It's a weekly show that I do. It's really awesome and yeah, that's that covers that. Thank you for having me You got it, buddy. Thanks coming on doing another sky podcast soon. You got to come on. I'm down totally What you got? Follow me on Twitter at Mark Norm. I'll be at the dead crow comedy club October 16th

And I'll be at a home field comedy Club on November 6th, which is in Miami. It's new, it could be rough. And then I'm opening for the Schum in Florida on the 13th. So come on out. Congratulations again to Amy. Yeah. Her show is fucking great. Last year was amazing. She's just, she's killing it and she she's she's bringing a lot of people with it with it. How would Amy and Jennifer Lawrence? No, I know. You're just waiting for that right? You're not step on my fucking great fucking whatever the fuck it is to my friend Amy. Yeah, but what if he found out he banged her? First of all, he's not gonna say that he banged her on the show because they'll get kicked off and fucking tore with Amy.

You know nothing about the business. Just a blow early. That's why people still shiffin' you. Is they know you'll do nothin' and you'll fuck it up. Ha ha ha. Fun fact, Jennifer Lawrence. Ballwash. Ha ha ha ha.

What do you got, Phil? I can you look at my website for dates, but follow me. Honestly, I don't I get all I get like weekends messed up, but follow me on Phil M. Hanley on Twitter and Phil M. Hanley on Instagram because I don't have enough followers Bobby follows me And he seems quite satisfied. I'm very satisfied with you dude. You're one of my favorite people. Oh cool. Thanks Bobby Yeah, all right anything else Oh, I have a podcast. We know nothing with Sam Rell and on your marina. No.

Yeah, yeah, please list that. We know nothing podcast. That's good. Sam's funny. Tuesday's with stories with Sam Rell and Mark Norman. No, Joe. Joe. Joe. Fucking kill the wrong podcast.

Oh, why would I want to do something nice? But all right, you made it on do something nice, but all right. You met Adam or something? No, no. No, that was a good one. Joe Listenmark have a great podcast at the Stand Up Lab. So go check that out. Tuesdays with stories, right?

Yeah, it's something like that. And what do you have? See, early October, I'm going to be in Chicago and Merrillville, Indiana, I think. I'm going to go check out my website, LoriPommentary.com or follow me on Twitter Lori Pomenteri Awesome thanks coming on Lori. Thanks for having me. What do you got the at Chris Copo on Twitter and Bobby you've any dates? What do that's all you got? Oh you need dates

Fill handy calm. Yeah, yeah, no, I should forgot you fucking Yeah, and then I should forgot you fucking I broke my Twitter since we're fuck KC got ideas They can follow me on Twitter at r2d poo got a couple dates on October just some bar shows, got Gritz Comedy on October 13th. That's it, it's over on 3rd. That's great. That's Brandon Collins' show.

Wow. He's very gracious to have me on. And then October 14th, I'll be at Percy's in the East Village at 7 p.m. So thank you. I'll be there. All right. Here's the crowd.

Here's the crowd at both clubs. Oh! Oh! Ha! Ha! Again, I'd be so glad if there's that many people there again that's a bomb oh you stuck with it

no you that he's bomb no that was not about those repeat stinker right that's not a bomb between a repeat stinker and uh... you want to get rid of it so badly makes it worse. Yes. All right listen What do what do you learn what do you got Lauren? Lauren Kiberra Twitter. That's a sad husband He's getting blown by inmates Yo yo yo come here. Yo man. That's bullshit get over here. Let me get down stick

Good stick, good stick. Good hang up, she's proud. All right, check out. So that's it, that's all you get. That's it, all right, but yeah. She's the new addition to the show. She's helping out every week with the riot cast, getting this show to the next level.

So before we get into that, what do we got on the Robert Kelly front? You got dates coming up September 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th. You're gonna be in the Toronto Just the Last Festival. The old different showroom, so go to robacallie.live.com,

and see where he's at. September 30th, it's a charity event at 3 Saints Church in Garfield, New Jersey. I'm going to go to Robbocketolive.com for all my dates coming up. I'm in Canada, I'm doing a bunch of stuff up there. I'm trying to help me spread the word up there. I don't know how to do it up there. I'm trying to, you know, help me spread the word up there. I don't know how to fucking do it up there. You know what I mean? It's trying to break into that market. So if you guys are fans of mine, Toronto, wherever the fuck it is, just retreat, share, get your friends out, social media, the fuck out of my dates, help me out if you can, and

make sure to rob a kid alive for all my other dates are coming up. And what else we got? Anything else? That's it, right? Subscribe to the channel on YouTube. There you go, fucking deep blue. Look at me right in the camera. Focus in on me, Deep Blue. If you're watching this on our YouTube channel, and you guys are a lot of you, subscribe to the channel.

Okay? Hit that like button and subscribe. Spread the word, keep it going. You guys are the best fans in the fucking world. Riotcast, join the Riot, and you know what, then we'll see you later. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás!

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