Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rachel Feinstein - Big Guy

Episode Date: September 14, 2020

Use the code (YKWD) and Mybookie will double your first deposit at (https://bit.ly/MB_YKWD) We're joined by comedian and longtime friend of Bobbys, Rachel Feinstein, getting into unfortunate spousal nicknames, dealing with mom guilt and how to date a firefighter! Go to Patreon.com/RobertKelly for exclusive episodes! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caisha Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitanlo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informate en CaishaBank.es. Caisha Bank, tú y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las de constancia económico financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now We're back. You know what to live welcome everybody to the show Started the social media podcast Again

We're all started Podcast is so fun and crazy. And that's the rules. Shut up! You're ruining this! For the more than a pound of money, I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the car that's done. Is there any better show?

This is the original. The original. What's up, Pipy? I'd like to welcome everybody to the You know what, dude, podcast. What's up, sophisticated, Bobby? It's a little more sophisticated, Bobby. The podcast has had many iterations over the years. And now we have come into the sophisticated upper echelon mainstream YKWD,

where we will pontificate daily topics for the news. where we will pontificate daily topics. For the news. I think I know. We'll talk about subjects like gender, race, and political views. I wanna look smarter. Put on the top hat.

I just have one, I'm not fucking Snoopy. I can't reach into the dog. I Would like to introduce my Cole Horts as you might say My accomplishers. No my uh It's gonna be a fucking Marta's a hard role for you Yeah, you like rolls I'm not sure if you're going to get it. I'm not sure if you're going to

get it. I'm not sure if you're going to get it. I'm not sure if you're going to get it. I'm not sure if you're going to get it. I'm not sure if you're going to

get it. I'm not sure if you're going to get it. I wanted. Everyone hates us who listens to this program. Woo. I mean, I am the thing why they hate Gabby. But what the fuck did I do? I just don't like the whole thing. Gomez. That doesn't make me an asshole. Oh, I don't know. Gabby's just too fucking or cheekbones are too high or hairs too. Hey color. She's just too poppy. She's just shitty background. It's just my real. Why do you want? And we have a very special guest. One of my, I don't know how it happened, but a good friends. I feel like it was I was tricked into it forced upon me through micro conversations over the years that I didn't know where had some

Meaning to them and then of course my other friends Wanted liking her now. She's one of my favorite people and I don't know how it happened. I Don't know why I like her. I shouldn't even know she's a bad mother and a jerk and an alcoholic you still like it Don't forget about the C word. I wouldn't say that. You have those are things Keith said so people don't really think they're true. And that's yeah. Well, people know that a lot of alcoholic bad mother.

He really is called you. It's so funny. Keith Robinson is one of the most miserable old man I know. Yes. Can we agree on that? Yeah, I mean, he, if you don't know him at home, he's the, he was the head writer for Lea Vittu Beaver. He's the oldest living king. And he's the one out. And I had like two presecos and he told everybody I was an alcoholic bad mother and He's a toxic man. I want to add Gabby that They hate on you because you're very beautiful and lovely and you've seen positive and it doesn't seem to affect you and that

Enferiorates people so that is my opinion and why people give you hate because you've just seen your you're scrubbed with youth and sunshine and it makes them angry and they're pissed. Yeah I'm scrubbed with sunshine. That's right Thank you. I didn't know anybody hated you. I just assumed that people give gavi a hard time because they, you know, the way women get trolled, but I didn't know. It's a classic trolling. I'm hated because I don't, I don't, I don't know, I guess I should keep my mouth shut more often, but if I don't like somebody, I'll just say it. Bill Burrow was on the show and I thought he was a little stiff and I said it, and I'm like, oh, you're a dick. I'm like, oh, I thought he was stuff. And then Louis J. Gomez got into a fight and then all those skanks guys hate me, but I can live with it because Bobby says I have no heart.

And you know, you're just not, you're not connected to your brain. That's all, your heart is not connected to your brain. You're like a, a Borg. And some of the, I mean, I'm a wonderful father. Hey, I mean, most generous, beautiful guy ever. But can I just say this, you know, it gets the worst me.

It's my podcast and I get the worst hate ever. Really? I get hate because they don't like me. And then I get hate. The people that don't like them hate me for liking them. So I get double hate. I get their hate and I get my individual hate. They don't like them hate me for having for liking them. So I get double hate I get dare hate and I get my individual hate. They don't get my hate They don't get my hate and it's my show. I get hated on my show

Hang on let me bring it down. I Want to that is not that is not sophisticated Bobby. I apologize. No, it is not regal. That's not the regal velveted robed. Bobby regal. That's for sure. Regal Robert. I like that. That's my new name regal Robert. Now now let me ask a question,

Rachel. You've been on the show many a times and you've sounded great. Now you sound like you're in a woman's prison. We got to get the money. Yeah, you sound like a boss. Wait just realized, is this better? Yeah, yeah, you look great. It's a little tinny. That's all. It's okay. All right. You sound from the back. I just realized, is this better? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you look great. There you go. It's a little tinny. That's all. It's okay.

All right. It's all right. You sound fine. This is not, this isn't CNN. It's not even sheepkin. If you guys like edited and you want to take a moment, I have a microphone. I could like plug in and somebody could tell me how to do it because since I am a woman, my, my tits get confused when I get that right. Yeah. If you want to help me get my properly, we could do that.

But I don't know if there's enough time for that. And you tell me because I do have a microphone here, but I just want people to help just plug it in and it will automatically come on. Yeah. You just don't get it. Don't knock it into your tits. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, I can't leave that out. Yeah. I love the half. Yeah, if you can cover up your, get your tits out of the way, so it doesn't confuse you. Okay. I'm gonna look for a very fat. Yes, I'm a hard out, I have a hard out at 430 today. All right, you can take your time your time. You got my joys got football primates. Whoa, are they have do they have to wear masks when they're practicing? Or they? I don't know today was the first you're okay, bro. Are you okay? Are you okay? We're gonna we're gonna meet cancer bobby here in a couple of seconds. Toomer bobby. I don't think he's buzzing. He No. No. Did you inhale that? That's cool. That's cool.

Keep doing that. Yeah, absolutely. Bobby, I forgot to call you and tell you all the gossip. That you love me. I love you. That'd be funny. How funny would that have if Gabby was secretly in love with me from like before I knew her.

She saw me on sex and drugs and she was like, I love Chubby Ball guys. And then she, this whole thing. And then, and then I wind up leaving Don for Gabby. And Gabby becomes Max's stepmom. Oh Lord. That is a lengthy narrative. I got a late night text the other day from a friend named Gary. And at first I thought it's a Gabby and I was like, well, here it comes.

Here it comes. Are you expecting that it's coming? Eventually I wear on people eventually you'll like me. I'm 16 years old. Okay. No, no, that is not for the record officer that is not true. So listen, I asked out that guy that we were talking about on the last show. Yes. You know, I asked no, I texted first and I asked him out. How they work. He said, yes. And we're going to go out when he's back in the city, but here's the thing. He's a horrible texture. So to me, I'm like, are you even into it? I'm not fucking. I know you need immediate everything because that's where you got it your whole life. Pump the brakes, have a little pause and fucking relax and let it come to fruition.

Yeah, but at least chat, chat me up a little bit on 10. No, no, no, no, no, you're going crazy now because of it. I'm not going crazy. Yeah, I'm just saying. Yeah, I've ripped my hair out. because of it. I'm not going crazy. Yeah. I'm just saying. Bring him by the. Yeah. I've ripped my hair out. Yes. Exactly. Did you read the the fucking Baroque? What is his name? Mosh. Come on. Bring some of these fucking things up. What'd you? He's probably talking to Rachel. Uh, Rachel is a better dad than Keith will ever make. That's funny. No, I was getting the mosh die. This keepsping Rachel.

Just keep this Keith advocate. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Rachel Rachel had a good line. She said the other night. She said, I'm sorry that when your child was born, you were at OTV. You understand, Gabby, he's got you twisted a little.

That's good. That's, you don't want a guy who gives you what you want out of the gate. You got a guy that's twisting you a little bit. You want it, you're desiring some more, okay? So that's a good thing. You want it. You got to give me, I don't want more. I want something.

Like if I'm gonna text you and ask you out first, you gotta give me a little something. Now, really, you're so desperate. You asked him out, so he's like, fuck it, she'll wait for me. That's right. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Stop, stop, don't listen to him.

This is why the fan Tatum, because he's probably a problem. I'm kidding, by the way. I gave it to Dominos for this, because I think it's I agree. I think it's a good for both sides. It just makes me be like, all right, I'll just text someone else. But you can just stop for a beat. We're gonna just go fuck. Because it's quick. Because they text you.

You they sent you happy faces and emojis. Yeah, yes. because it's quick because they text you, you're they send you happy faces and emojis. Yeah, yes. Listen, pump the brakes. It just say, hey, this is something you should say to somebody. Put those chicken wings down, please. Don't listen to the old man. Listen to me.

I'm close, I'm close to the millennial. You're not, you're not even fucking near a millennial. I'm younger than you. Send them. I do years. Send them a new. Yeah, yeah. I'll show you're serious about it. I'll show you. My news are incredible. I would never just hand it over like it's like I mean, I like your bigger brothers. You, it doesn't turn us on. Let us see it. And we'll tell you if it's really. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it either, but I will for you Bigger brothers. Yeah, I'm I'm like I'm like your second father. I'm your dad. I'm your comedy dad You are he's like you're like a weird uncle. Yeah, yeah

That wants to see your naked you fucking creep. Yeah, I'm not like my blood related I'm just that guy the family always calls on cool. Let me just say this if you ever sent Mike a naked photo And I was with him. He was like she just sent me a nigga. I would never tell you I would never I Wouldn't look at it. I would never tell you I would keep it in my heart and I would just be happy Well, I'm not Don't don't just not close it on that end. Let's just leave the end open. You don't know what's going to happen.

No, we're not going to leave it. You may drink the night you're like, man, what do I feel like tonight? I feel like sending my creepy kind of uncle a picture. You don't know. Don't shut the other end of it. Let it go. No, I know. Leave it open.

Listen. All right. I gotta explain something. My chin. Oh, yeah. We know this what happened okay Sunday night and this is this happens to me every once in a while on the fucking road I was in the shower and I have my little razor and it has fucking 15 15

Rages on it now because Gillette has to put fucking razors on the side, the back, the front. Hey, the new Gillette, we got 17 fucking razors. And it's got that back razor that gets up here. You put the five hairs that you miss apparently because you're a moron and you can't do that and get up there. So I put another, I went up and I came back down and I cut the bottom of my chin off. And I started bleeding. It was so bad that the blood was black. Like red. It was like from my chest. It was like, it was deep blood. And I had to get a stiptic pen. Thank God I always travel with one. It was like putting fucking gunpowder in a wound and lightning on fire. What is that?

Stiptic pen. You know what a stiptic pen is? No. You don't know what a fucking stiptic pen is and you're a grown man. I'm a change. You're not saying it right. That's not true. in your grown man. I'm there's a change you're not saying it right. So I know I don't know you're describing and I'm unaware. It's nip tic fat. It's white. And when you get a cut, you rub it on there. What is it? It's the bleeding immediately. Oh, it's a chemical based thing. It's almost like salt. And you rub it on a cut like not you can't do it's a chemical-based thing. It's almost like salt and you rub it on a cut. Like, you can't do it on a cut, shaving cuts. It's mainly for like little cuts. When you get a little cut, right?

And you kind of get a stiptic pencil, all right? Steptic pen. Steptic. Steptic. Steptic. Steptic. Steptic. It's a steptic pen. you know, like, you know, like a little cut, you put it on there, wipe it off. Nothing. There's nothing there. But on a big thing like this, it, it fucking hurts so bad. The towel's in my room. It looked like I murdered a hooker. I had to, I had to like ball it all up inside of the other towels when I left and I left a 20 for the mid But you should have left a no it's a don't tell anybody I should have just got a pair of panties. Yeah

Are you there Rachel? Yes, we couldn't figure out why my mic wasn't working for some reason. That's all right. That's fine. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Her, so it was our anniversary. So my husband got me those flowers and then I came back and I got like a new outfits we're supposed to go away and he told me that I look like a Charlie Brown. And I think he's right. I'm just a risk. I took a risk and he said I look like Charlie Brown.

Okay. How long have you been married? Two years. I'm not a risk. I took a risk and he said I look like Charlie Brown. How long have you been married? Two years. So, so I used to always wonder what kind of guy would get you before? Like I used to be friends with, I'm still front of April, Macy and I used to see like picture review guys. And I'm like, I would imagine every time I'm on the road, there's always guys hanging all over them. What's the guy like that she's going to pick? I always wondered that. And then I saw a picture What's the guy like that she's gonna pick? I always wondered that,

and then I saw a picture of me the other day from Bobby's house. I like that interpretation of me. That's totally true about April. But for me, it was more like, I mean, April, like I've never felt as invisible physically as what I'm with her. Because it's really?

Elyar Rouse by, yeah, they're just coming everywhere. People are just On the calm that is She's the way talking about dick. That's why But so that made me so happy that you all this hold on to that forever because my husband like I Feel like yeah, it was more like who was gonna get stuck with me and my my horses. He's made he's not made a wise decision How did he make you I mean he's I mean he's New York fire wise decision. How did he make you? I mean, he's, I mean, he's New York Fireman. You already got that working for you. I'll tell you how.

How did you guys meet? I could tell you how. There was a lot of, no one online. It was me trying to get people. I went to a stay-couse before I got married and sat there because I heard that men hang out in stay-couses. Think about how important that is. Did you read that into newspaper?

I would make a friend. No, a friend told me it was, that was a very dark time. I was like, waking with depression, like, throwing lonely. And I read it, you could read it all over my dumb face. And I went to Keen's steakhouse

and I met a friend of mine there. And we just sat there waiting to be approached. It was really, really low. This is how you get a date with Rachel. Hey, I thought you're really funny. I would imagine that would be an automatic out. That's a lot of fun. That would delight me.

Are you kidding? I mean, I'm sure you know, Bobby, you've heard from other female comics. Like we don't get hit on after shows ever. I mean, really? No, no, you guys just stay there and collect your posts. Nobody wants this. Oh, you're perfect. You have low self-esteem. You don't even know you're good looking. I love your. I'm out of pounds. I had a pounds on that shit of the

steakhouse. I mean, I there was one guy that had on me at that steakhouse. And he wasn't just old. He was like in the winter of his life. Like curled like white fluffy hair. And he wasn't just old, he was like in the winter of his life, like, curled hair, like, white fluffy hair. And he walked to, I need a perfect line, but he was just, he was like, in his 80s, probably. But there was a big painting above the bar in like, Keen Stegas. And it's like some like, a love shoe as a woman or something. And like, some old French panties, like, is that you or you? And I thought it was very funny.

And I was like, whoever this is, I'm meant to be with them. And then he was just so close. So funny. That's so funny. You went to Keen's take us literally just some allowing women to go there like three months ago. What is he doing? It's feeding your pipes.

They have pipes like all over the walls there. Yeah. Because it was all men. And they have the pipes on the ceiling if you ever go there there and if we had a producer, you'd bring it up. We on the ceiling, it's all from when the men would go there. And everybody has their pipes and you'd light up a fucking bat. You need some steaks and you talk about other races and bruds, but now, but then now women get to go there and it's ruined.

No, I'm joking. Now you can't, when Sour Hens ruined it all. But yeah, no, there was no trying to get me. Like I remember the first night I spent the night in his house. I was like, we didn't have sex because I was like scared. I was like, I really liked him and I was like, we can't have sex and he's like, just come over. It's okay. He was very sweet about it. And I was like, we can't have sex. And he's like, just come over. It's okay.

He was very sweet about it. And I got up in the morning and I left. And then I realized that I had left some things there and I came back and he was holding a ball, like a minute later. And it was the most humiliating, slavvently pile of stuff. I had like pantyhose from an audition. Like, it was so disgusting.

It was like a red pantyhose. This gets so much worse. was so disgusting. It was like a pantyhose. This gets so much worse. A very long, good will receive, like a no-bell. Oh. And it was so rancid. It was like everything you try to hide, you know, just in this thing, you're just gonna held it. And then I said the dumbest thing.

How disgusting and asexual is this thing? Because I was nervous and I was kind of, I was like, I felt like I wouldn't have handpicked the panties. I was wearing, they were disgusting, but they were like, not the ones you prepare and are like, oh, these, you know? So I turn around and I go, I'll wear better panties next time. I was just saying, I'm about Rachel.

I'm not starting right now. I just say something about Rachel. I'm not talking about it right now. Rachel, I've never seen her. And not look like a million bucks. I mean, every time she comes to the club, I mean, Gabby, most of the time looked like she was fucking working with gorillas in the fucking jungle somewhere. Fucking beautiful girl, but fucking, I mean, literally just has, you know, fucking, you know, just helping children find water and

India closed. Thank you. Just, terrible, terrible. So perfectly just, just, just dirty, just, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm but my husband can't compliment. Like he is absolutely worthless. I mean, I have a joke about him. Even his nickname for me is insulting.

He calls me big guy. That's what you call a union trucker on a trucker from a long, lumber home. I'm not kidding. If I come in at night, he goes, is that big guy? Like he can't. I mean, it's not. It's very hurtful. Do you have giant feet?

I don't have giant feet. I think he goes, but you're like one of the guys that you funny. And I'm like, no, but big guy is not good. It's not a good look for. So, so they went to the rich boss barbecue this weekend. We did. Yes, we went to Voss's barbecue and Rain and I made up.

So Rain ahead on. Fuck that real good kid. I. I guess you said, yes, me. I told her my, my daughter's name Frankie and she was like, oh, she's disgusting.

And she was like, maybe 10 years ago, your name's your daughter Frankie. And then I just backpedaled so hard. I was trying to explain to her that it was a family name and my grandfather is a fireman and we named her after him and he's a fireman. And I'm like, what am I explaining myself for?

I was, I just was like, pedal. I was kind of a little weepy. I mean, she, she just cuts through your self-seem in a perfect way. I mean, and she of a little weepy. I mean she just but cuts through your self team in a perfect way. I mean, and she's a very adorable girl. She's just smart and funny, I guess, but I she's slain me. So I was a little nervous to see Raina after I was like, her full name is Elena Francis. That's what I said. So I'm talking to some of you whose name is Raina, a perfect opportunity for you to ruin the rest of her life right there with insults.

I actually liked her name and I told her that she was like, yeah, the best part is at the end of it, Rachel Kister on the forehead and she said, don't do that again. What's going on? There he is. Hey, this is my man. We're talking about, we're talking about, we're talking about Voss's barbecue. I can't hear you. Yeah, of course, you can't. We're talking about, where are you? I hope a Trump, I hope a Trump I hope a Trump parade behind you. Are you wearing the tablecloth? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what? Hey son, talk to him. How?

Hey. Oh shit. There he is. Look at it. Now that's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got.

That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got.

That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. That's what you got. let me find you. No. I saved your butt. Did you think? Did you think I will win? Yes, enough. Not from them, from your father, your son of a bitch. Hey, I'm a good dad. What my son and everything and his old Rachel's a bad mom. You stop saying that she's not a bad mom. To his point. I don't think the baby. Your standards for piano are worthless. I don't.

I think you can't change the diaper because I was good in the early years. I wasn't put in over the years. You're talking plenty of times. You didn't change a diaper. You never changed the diaper. I changed the diaper, a pamper, whatever. Listen, throw in a kid and throw in the shower and just hoisin them down as it changed your diaper. They didn't even have Rachel. They didn't a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy.

I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy.

I'm not a bad guy. I'm not a bad guy. I heard from several people that there was a food yet to bring your own food. It was B.Y.F. Bring your own food and there was impossible burgers there instead of real burgers and that you had to take chips out of the bowl with tongs you couldn't use your own hands and you were forced to look at ugly fake Victorian art in the dining room. Oh it's a lot of bad art. There was a lot of bad art and there was an angry group of people. Team. What? Volsus cook out stop.

Yeah. But that don't change the fact that Rangers are bad mother. I goodbye. The week after I gave birth, he was going everybody. Rachel's a bad mother. Rachel looks at her baby like she doesn't know her. There's a look at how she's like and she does kind of look at me like she doesn't know. She's looking at what she's like. And she does kind of look at me like she doesn't know me.

She's like, okay, but she comes in front, it's a member. Well, it is true though, but you'll learn. You'll grow into motherhood. Wayne, you should be a good mom. Yeah, I hate you with all my heart. I know with you, you're such a bad worthless man. This is a guy, we were walking down the street on bleaker. Just pleasantly walking beautiful day out.

I mean, people, it's like, these ladies, these older ladies are having a nice gentle conversation. One of them goes, I've always loved oranges. And Keith goes, if you don't, you're gonna see the kids. Oh, good. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up.

You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up.

You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. You don't want to set it up. And of course she was white. She was white, why are you setting? Why? I said it because she was white. And I was like, oh my, batter. Oh. Oh.

Uh. Uh. I was even putting many times. It was just one of them walking with a child. And he's like, he goes, you come on. Do you think I'm going to be able to scoot in my friends' that great push? You know what?

Maybe you could go home with me. I'm trying to have a little white girl. Con Volotea, la región de, sí. ¡Es tan muy dominante, Gran! Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com He he he a relationship in his son when he's 30 that that sounds about right. Yeah, that's what he's in. Real quick, I do want to defend Vos's barbecue. They they did have in Potsville burgers and you could bring your own food, but they did have meat there as well that they promote you and you. Yeah, it was it was actually and we brought stuff, they said we didn't need any of it. So, so Keith was trashing it because he said it was bring your own barbecue, but we actually not stuck.

And they were like, no, we have enough. Yeah, man, you brought, but you brought food to a barbecue. We did bring the food, yeah. I mean, how did you know to do somebody clients that you're invited to the barbecue by the way bring your own food? He said you had to bring your own barbecue. Yeah, Keith said that, not boss.

Yeah, that's like going to a fucking jazz festival. Ah! Right now, it's accident foam. Hey, if you guys get hungry, bring some food, we have a place to cook it. And then Keith insisted they play music just so he could complain about it. Yeah, and you look so happy. I think possibly like hungry eyes or something. Yeah, he played, he's possibly playing perfectly

serviceful music except for when he played in your eyes at a barbecue for some reason. In your eyes, he was a confusing choice. Yeah. Let me ask you something, Rachel. Mm-hmm. On a scale from one to 10, what would you give my barbecue? No, I can't play these reindeer. Ray, go ahead.

On a scale from one to 10, I'm asking you about my barbecue. OK, but I'm not answering that following question. Your barbecue is a five. Out of a 10? Oh, now that it was one to five, sorry, is a 10. 10 is the best, right? Yes. One to 10.

No, 11 is the best. Yes. You are just dumb., 11 is the best. Yes. You are just dumb. I do run down. Yeah. People think it's far because I'm so passive in Jewish, but I have no information. And I actually did high school. Rachel. So mine out of one out of 10, mine's a 10. Yours is a 10. Okay. the 10. Well, okay. Impressive. Now, have you been to another barbecue

that has been at 10 this summer? I'd say there was a nine and a half. It was a very good barbecue. Oh, that's not true. You're lying. You're lying right now. No, it was a very good barbecue. Listen, listen.

When you go to Bobby's, there's a thing. When you go to Bobby's, John, I thing, when you go to Bobby's, John, I mean, I know a bunch of barbecues like this in my life. I mean, she like makes her own pastries. Yeah, yes. Well, let us see. I mean, if I, I just was slamming things into my face, just wildly slamming everything, face slams,

what John is able to do is remarkable. It makes people like, I'm not a woman. Like, I don't even know. She crashed things that are insane. I like, I have to go have somebody like taste pasta when I cook it, you know? And I feel like she's the kind of woman that intrinsically knows the moment pasta is done.

So I'm gonna keep, I'm gonna keep so far. You say Bobby's barbecue has someone cook the food Boss, you have to bring your own food. Okay, I'm gonna make a note right now for the end result I actually smoked three racks of ribs. I learned how to use a smoker Two days before and smoked my own ribs You didn't. You smoked it. See, Bobby is like into this stuff. Bobby is the guy that we get to grill from you know about you also know about appliances. I feel like anytime I was going to get an appliance, I should ask Bobby because I feel Rachel's, well, Rachel's doing right now. She's complimenting me, trying to get me to feel happy, and then we're gonna sidetrack. First of all, Dawn is unbelievable. She's a great wife, a great mom.

Even when Rachel gave Dawn the baby, I remember the baby was crying when Rachel asked for the baby back. That's true. We should go to the idea that I might be a bad mom, because the baby definitely liked John better. And when John was holding her, she was glaring at me. Like, this is how it's supposed to be.

And everybody looks at me what I'm holding my own baby. Like, I might be a bad mom, but I'm trying. I'll say that, because everybody kind of looks at me like I'm her head's in the wrong position or something. Listen, my father and law said it best. Your job as a parent is to keep that baby alive till it's five years old. And then from five, it could keep itself alive after five.

So if your baby's so alive, you're doing all right. You're doing a good job. Thank you, Robbie. Baby's like two. I know, well, she's got three years to go. One, one. It's not even, is that something? It's got four more years know. Well, she's got three years ago, but it's not even doesn't mean it's got four more years of being alive. She's not there yet.

And so far she forgets the baby on the hood of the Subaru. Have you dropped the baby yet? No, I haven't dropped. I haven't even dropped anything on her. Look how proud I am of that. That's good. That's a good check. When I had my son, I was holding him in the car one time when my wife was shopping and he just started crying and screaming and scrim wouldn't stop for like a half hour. And it was at that point, I realized why people shake their babies. Like, every of those stories and go, why would they shake a baby? And I was like, now I know why they shake babies. Oh, yeah. And I, you know, my worst fear is when I was pregnant, I was like, what if I don't

connect to her? Like, because I'm an overshare. And I was like know, my worst fear is when I was pregnant, I was like, what if I don't connect to her? Like, because I'm an overshare. And I was like, I'll just start telling people. I was like, I'll be like at a barbecue and have like one vodka ton. I can be like, isn't it weird that I don't love her? I was like, oh, you're going to like love her and tell people that was my worst fear. I'm like, I'm a comic.

I'll burn it. I'm like, one funny fact. Hmm. They've got a lover, which makes me a hero, right? That's great. Can I say something? I'm a fan. I don't want you to over I don't want you to over share with your kid. No, good boundaries because my mom did that. My mom would be like I I go to a play date and she'd be like, it was so sad that she was raped and it ruined your sex life.

And I'm like, what? No, I'm 10. There you go, Ruth. Photo overshare. So I don't want you to come home and be like, you know, hey, what's wrong, mom? Well, let me tell you, tonight at the show, this guy just, and just blah, blah, blah, blah.

You gotta, you gotta bury some shit where your kids. You can't let them in full Yeah, I was talking about oversharing with other people. I was saying that if I don't love my kid, I was afraid that I would tell people No, Gabby's father overshares. He knows he did drugs and banged a bunch of women on different continents Yeah, and they got a great relationship I let my son watch this show where he's heard more about jerking off and other stuff on this show to drugs and banged a bunch of women on different continents. And they got a great relationship. I let my son watch this show where he's heard more about jerking off and other stuff on the show than he ever heard before in his life. And we got a great relationship.

So maybe over sharing is the new, the new undersharing. But that's a little different because you have access to that information. And so like, like my mom would be like, and my mom as a great mother was just one mistake that she made. But like, we would, I remember going out to ice cream shop and my mom was like, you might have noticed that the lady serving you ice cream has a bruise under her eye and that's hard to do.

And I'm like, I'm just enjoying a mint cherch. Like, I mean, I mean, she couldn't be a reliable player. She had to be domestically abused. Exactly. My mom loves pain. She loves like dark. She's always like reporting a neighbor's pain or illness.

And I'm like, I don't even know who that is. And she's like, but she needs to report like a fresh death. Like she loves the obituaries. You know, it's funny because yeah, my husband's family's completely the opposite. I mean, their firements. So they avoid disgust. They just talk about like purchases and gloves. And like were you gonna buy your gloves and stuff? And yeah. But my mom just talks

about like, darkness and suffering. My mom always starts out the conversation. It's so nice. And how are you? I'm thinking about everything. All right. Yeah. Oh, that's great. You know, we went over and and he's in what's his name and he's and then they and and then all of a sudden, but you know, you know, Mrs. McGree, give your sister a call because she's been sad, you know, and then you know, make sure you call Sean because his friend died in the car. He got beheaded and and then it's slow and deteriorates into this fucking mess of guilt that I have a list of people that she's already said Bobby will call you. She's already fucking laid out my schedule and things I'm supposed to people I'm supposed to call

and touch faith with that she already says so now I gotta make this fucking fun and talk to all this shit and then half the people like I I don't even wanna talk to you. Like your mother didn't, she did the same thing to them. I know, I mean, it's like this darkness that, I didn't know that other parents did it as much too, but yeah, every time I talk to my mom, she goes, did I tell you honey, she loves to mention the race of somebody she's friends with because she's proud of it and it just ends up sounding racist

Like did I tell you that lovely Iranian American woman? I know she'll try and then she'll see Over-honor in this rose way Her husband has colon cancer Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? up, Rach? I don't even know. Best of Maryland. Where the fuck is that? It's like near the Naval Hospital. I feel no connection to where I grew up.

I don't, I just don't hate it, but I don't like it. I feel like I was moving home when I moved to New York, you know? Yeah. I mean, it's kind of like my dad moved there because he thought that they had good book and record stores. He's a blues musician. So he liked their used record stores. That was the reason we moved there. I drove through New York one time when I was a young teenager going back to Boston from Ben Salem, Pennsylvania, where my my parents

had moved to Ben Salem while I was in Juveje. So when I got out of Juveje at 13, they shipped me to Ben Salem, Pennsylvania. Within a week, I broke a kid's arm at a playground. But his brothers were all on the wrestling and football team. So they came down for me. There was around 10 kids. They would come looking for me every other day. And like, I'd be outside playing with kids and all of a sudden you hear you'd see a kid running and be like, what? And they'd be like, there's a bunch of kids coming. They're looking for this kid Bobby. And I just have to run home. I mean, just so bad. They would, they would just wanted to kill me because I broke this kids arm. bad. They would they would just wanted to kill me because I broke this kid's arm. And um, the first trip back, we drove back to Boston. I think like a, like a month into me being

that we had a drive back for a family thing. And I remember driving through New York. And I, I, I remember I was, I was just like, I feel like this is my, I feel like I belong here. Like I'm just driving down the west side highway. Yeah. I just saw how fucking crazy it was and I was like, I feel something towards this city. I remember the day we drove through that. And of course, when I went back to Boston

within an hour, I ran away and I was living on the streets for the next month. Man, we're all in the same place. I didn't know that. Yeah, I was living on the streets. I next month. Man, we're all in the streets. I didn't know that. Yeah, I was living on the streets. I mean, look, I just slept outside. You know, I just slept outside.

I said, you can't. Yeah, they didn't soften the blow. No, that made it worse. That's what I mean. Yeah, that's what I mean. Living on the streets in the suburbs is kind of nice. I mean, in the summer, the park benches, and I slept on, you know, I slept in parks

and shit like we would hang out in the park all night. We'd walk around and I'd just take a nap on a bench and wake up and I used to go to the stores in the morning because that back then they would leave the milk and the breads in front of the pizza places and the delis. So I just go grab a thing of milk and the thing of bread for breakfast and fucking make my way around. I it my team 20? What are you talking about? They sell the paper. I can't make sure one of those glass bottles of milk. Exactly what I've made sure. And so I was really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really or orphan, uh, debris on his cheeks or something. Hello, son.

I want to get I want to go back to jail because I, me and Frankie, want to get really badly beaten up. Uh, and he went to the hospital with internal bleeding. My nose was just broken. And, uh, I remember the cop came and I, I ended the, uh, he just stuck his head into Frankie's room. He's like Bobby. Let's go I was like fuck I started walking out with him and he's like why would you kick a vending machine if you knew there was a warrant And I was like I wasn't kicking a vending machine. He goes fuck I got the wrong kid

This sounds like a folk tale. Yeah, it's it got. And he took me to I went to jail, I had to go back to a place I was gone. I was in jail for a couple months. And then I went to a foster home in Lawrence, Massachusetts, worst foster home ever. Um, the guy used to kick me out during the day and the winter because he was a security guard at night. And he liked to walk around in his underwear during the day and he didn't feel comfortable with me around. So I would have to go walk around Lawrence, Massachusetts. Mind you, Lawrence was mainly Puerto Rican and white and they I had a little mustache. I passed for Puerto Rican. Um, and then I went, I remember I went back to, they shipped me back to, to New York, Ben Salem. And I was a long, I was,

I don't know, like six or seven months later. And I went back to Ben Salem. I was cutting the neighbors lawn and guess who showed up. Those fucking kids, all 10 of those kids showed up in the backyard. Heard I was back and they fucking surrounded me. And they were like, yeah, are you ready? And they held me and one of them just punched me in the stomach once. And I went down to the ground. I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, This is so awful. I don't even know where to place it. This is the darkest, worst childhood. You really take the pie. You take the pie. It's the same thing.

He's taking pies already. It doesn't sound real. It sounds like you're writing a play. I know. It's madness. No. This is my mother's dream. All she would want to do is just like hold you and you could cry, like just dark, just long, thick tears of the Karen's arms. That's what she

wants to do. She wants to pain chamber people. She wants like get to the bottom of somebody else's pain. And she would I mean she tries to do it with my husband but he's too disassociated because he's a fireman. He's like unaware even has emotions. But this is her dream to just for you to say that to her that would be like Christmas morning. What you just said, because I have not heard a darker childhood and she would just want to hold you and like just rub your head. You're going to work calling Quinn's family from grownups. I know.

It's insane. It's like, Jesus. I mean, if I had a child's like that, I'd be so proud of myself. I wouldn't use it as my intro. Like, I mean, any back from that. We don't keep that a worse child. He had a cell of papers for a nickel and shine shoes. Yeah, but it was the 1800s.

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Keith, yeah, I feel like Keith deserves whatever he got. I like to go on records saying that. But yeah, no, I mean, that's, no, that was worth. That's worth saying. I've heard she wasn't home.

He might have been like home-ish. He was a perforator. But I wasn't homeless. I was just on the run. There's a difference. Yeah. That's what I wanted. I was a lot of work, right?

On the run. I had a big Catholic, Irish Catholic family. I could have went to. I could have went home. I could have went home. I just, sorry Melissa, I just could have, I just didn't want to. I just, you know what I mean? I had no place to go. So I mean, you can't convince any of us that that's not the worst thing we've ever heard. I mean, you might not have fully internalized how horrific it was, but I mean, it's a good intro. Just take any one of those facts.

it was, but I mean, yeah, it's a good intro. Just take any one of those facts. I'm sure you went to rehab at 13. I think he knew it was pretty bad. Yeah, I mean, you might have seen him on Comedy Central. He was once an orphan. Keep it going for Bobby. Come on. Now I now I got now I don't have to worry. Just come here. Yeah. My little baby. Order little sweetie. Just say hi. You said it. No.

Max, you didn't get a haircut. I'm going to sit. Drop it. Put your hands off that. Is it? I will. You want to be homeless? Do you want to be homeless? No, you won't.

Work for you. I was in that street. I'm homeless. You're homeless? I don't know about that. I'll be safe. No, you work for you You're homeless Come back. No, I did not. I like you say hi to Rachel I'm What's up, she's from China. I don't know if that doesn't go good when I eat my hair. I will, I will never say that again.

We'll go, hold on, I got you right. We're going away for Thanksgiving with Mike. We're going to your house so I could just go on the show right now. All yours. Yeah, goodbye. Bye, guys. Bye. How's the mic regular? No, no, no. I'm going to make regular. No, no, no.

He's the guy with him. Does he look happiness teeth now? Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. Yeah, he's got a little one. Yeah. Oh my god, he looks like a Ford model. I know he looks so cute. I feel like I'm gonna get so much trouble with him over Thanksgiving.

Like I'm gonna yell that. What's your problem? Not from me, from, by, good bye. Why, why do you feel that way? Because he's a problem maker. No, I just feel like we have been repairing styles and I think that, What do you mean weird?

I have regular parenting. No, I said that we have different parenting styles. What do you want me to explain? You? No, I said that we have different parenting styles. What do you want to explain your parenting styles to Rachel? Please. I don't do that. Shut the door. No problem. What's your style?

It's a cute little smile off to say that. He's just a little he's a little more strict than I am. He's in person. I'm just kid. Right. That's talking. I don't yeah, I'm not going to curse in front of my kid because my kid unlike the I'm going to be finished before you fucking stock on. All right.

My kid will go to your kid will shut it down at school. My kid will go, Hey, you can't to the teacher. Yeah. He doesn't know. He'll just go and swear all the time. Look at last week we're riding his bike. He learned how to ride his bike for the first time. I was, I can't, like, because you're not connected

emotionally to your kids. All right. That's not true. That's the one next man. Well, when that, but when you're, listen, when your kid rode the bike for the first time, I guarantee you went, good, you're supposed to do that and walk back in the house. I almost cried.

I said, what's your half of this bike? Shit, man, bottom of golf cart. Well, that's true. He bought his daughter, his son had a golf cart at the age of three. Four. Four. It's the same shit, okay? I, I got Max. He's got a bike. He rode it. For it's the same shit. Okay. I got Max. He's got a bike. He wrote it. And I was I was

overwhelmed with I can't tell you I was fucking because I don't remember who taught me how to ride a bike. I don't have that moment. You know what I mean? Because I didn't have that guy. All my mom, you know, helping me get over that and do it, right? And then we went bike riding and he went down a hill too fast and he fucking wiped out. I mean wiped out. And he, he, the first thing out of his mouth, he fell and he went, fuck.

Did I get blamed for that? It's gotta be you. What is that mean? Because Mike is a bad, he's a fucking bad influence on the kid. Not true. When it makes you feel better, I accidentally cursed the front of my nose and now feel a couple of times. I don't know how to do it.

I feel like when I was, before I had a kid, I feel like every time I left their apartment, I could hear the shit they were about to talk. Like she's constantly saying, come in front of the children and you can reach some mad dog or whatever. You know, but they learn the word. It's a can, they can't let them grow up in a fantasy world, they think people are on curse. But it's not a fantasy world, there's an adult world and there's a children's world.

And in the children's world, you don't curse. And you don't use racial slurs and you don't do talk about sex. We don't use racial slurs. The racial slurs was funny because clearly the end of that sentence was when the kids are in the I mean, nobody needed to include that in the paragraph. And you know, whatever we're chimneys here, we don't use the N word. Don't pass it. Yeah, I can get away with it if you call somebody to come to school.

I can't get away with anything worse than that. You think swearing is not a big deal. Swearing, if he is swearing once in a while. Look, I let Max swear once in a while. I he'll hit with a dead like when we're camping, we gave James and Max three swears each. When he's when he's with the boys, they got three swears each. And Max used his right away. He went, he went fuck, fuck, motherfucker. I'm like, no, over the weekend, you get three swears. I'm right out of the gate. You guys put a minute time out. Like, what would you happen if he's bad with each of

you guys? I know what I do. I do a consequence or a timeout or both. Yeah. Like take something away that he wants or something like that. He, yeah, like his iPad, but here's a trick to it. Cause me and Donna made this mistake. And we're like, we're taking your iPad away for a week. And then you're fucked because now when you want a little quiet time, you're going to go fucking read a book, a play a game. I know, you want to share something, right? You got to go, I'm taking your iPad away for five minutes.

My dad, you still give us five minutes in the car me and my brother he'd be like go and time it and we'd be like con con con con a thousand times just any curse we heard on the bus in Jersey the worst shed in the world. I just sit there. Why? You're so married. No, no, no, but your dad was like, you and your dad were really close. Yeah, my dad and I are true clones. And he was like, you know, a whore in the 80s, so he's fun. I know, he's. And probably now.

Yeah. Yeah. But my youth, it's like a comedy special, like Kevin Hart's special or something maybe, or I don't know, somebody's TV special and he was very lovely and nice What's that you hit your kid right never You've never hit you know, I don't even punish my kids. They've never been punished really

Are they like respectful and nice and that's kids ever My couldn't get my son to come in here and say fuck if I made him say say it, he wouldn't say it. My daughter was like, would be like, can I? Can I say it now? And she's screaming. I feel like we all over correct what our parents do. You know, like my mom's dad, like if you had an opinion of the dinner table, you were called a commie. You know, I feel hilarious. You're my friends commies when they have opinions. You don't question anything. You don't talk about the news unless you're a fucking commie.

Like, he would be like, yeah, what are you red? You're a red. So my mom went way the other way. It was aggressively liberal. And then now I'm going to go the other way when my mom had, we lived in a boundaryless house. So I'm just going to be like boundaries. Like, I'm probably probably gonna overboundary.

But don't you feel like you kind of do that as a parent, you correct whatever you feel. You go the other way. I don't know. Do I try to point here or can anybody save me please? I think, I think Rachel, I know, I understand what you're saying. You try, I think the problem is you don't want to live, you don't want to raise your kids with the life you wanted.

You have to raise your kid. You have to raise your kid with the right life. Like you don't even mean the right way. I don't think Mike's I don't think Mike's way is bad. I'm raising the kids on a life of the shows I used to watch on TV. Which show? My son is like the kid from Silver Spoon. We're just we're just short of having a train that rides around the property.

It was an episode of the Cosby show where they were trying to like discipline Theo or something and they and they made the whole house with like a boarding house. They made him like pay rent when he came in and everybody had on costumes. I thought that was so exciting as a kid. I'm like, I wish I could get disciplined. Every my mom would have like a wacky hat on or something. Like it was a little skit in the living room. I was always so jealous of like TV families like that, you know? Or like, they had like dads that looked like they would like smell reasonable and stuff. Like my dad always had like a dirty t-shirt on like yellow sweat pants will hold those in the shed.

So now I feel like my kids probably think that like that never had sleeves on the shirts. That's probably true. Well let me ask you a question, Ray. If if if if a man wants to whack your kid like give a spank and see you know let that go down. Yeah I mean I we were spanks I was spank know, more thrown, my dad would throw us a lot. He threw her, how far? But we wouldn't get really hurt. He would, he threw his back out once because we were at Hershey Park on vacation and he threw me and then he kind of like slits

and I landed on the bed. He would always throw us towards safety. You were an animal about it. Yeah, yeah. He would always throw us towards safety. More about it. In the middle of doing a bad thing, I just feel my dumb body like lifted and curled. And even usually it thrown me on like a pillow or the bed. But he threw his back out throwing us a couple times. So yeah, you guys had a travel with a bean bag. We went to go in the worst family bigotids.

We went to fucking Cooper's town like four times. Come on, girls, time to see the Hall of Fame again. That's all the time he was ever emotional. You know, he's like typical guy from that generation. He didn't cry in my wedding. He's never said I love you, but we'd fucking weep in the stupid Cooper's town museum every time he was there. And throw his back out hurling one of us at the hotel.

And I remember he had to go to the hospital because he'd throw one of us and my mom was like, you can't throw him and just get out the one you used to throw him. That's super bad. Has to go take a son of football practice. Okay, buddy. Go ahead. Come on. At least people on the good father.

Hey, there he is. Look at him. Look at him. I can't see him Hey, Joe, what's up? Hi, what's going on with that hair dude? Best hair in the game So you don't think we're now I Like it looks great. He's a fucking supermodelist. Very handsome young man. Yeah, he's going to do quite well. I'm pretty sure his mother had him on her own.

She he is 99% her. Hey, real quick, before I go, thank you. That's funny. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry. I know this your first time in the show, but Bobby and I have S's of every guest, including straight and and gay males. Not that you want to, you should marry to a handsome

fireman, but if you had to make sweet love to me or Bobby, look, Bobby's already trying to get a sexy face going. You will not hurt our feelings. We know that there is nothing in your life that is making you want to do this. If your life depends, you will throw your, you and your baby out the window right now and on coming traffic. Who would you make sweet love to? Me or Bobby? Can I just prep as there was something? Okay. This is, okay, I do like, and Bobby can attest to this. My type is definitely both of you guys is

and I like a man's man, right? I like, hopefully they would look like they, they, they, they look like they got like real fights growing up, like punching fights. And I don't think that's it. So you're both my technical, probably a problem. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied.

We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied.

We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied.

We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. We're both tied. I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have I would have But everybody would get warned about Bobby from all that the way Tris is would say like don't you know because you

Was bad boy in those years there would be like, you know don't get near him or whatever you know So I said that because they they're all bangin me. I never bang to I never ever bang to comic ever Like a strike like that like that makes him a better person That's like a strike like that like that makes him a better person You know like I'm a Way staff in the manager by didn't bang another comedian. Oh Well, Bobby, you really are such a gentleman Now in 2020 What would you try? All right? You don't need to say like that. Well, I'm just saying like we're saying now and I'm the time machine

No, it's iron plan. You got to have to. I mean, I guess because I had that crush on Bobby growing up, I would have to circle through my crush, but I would say that you guys were both, yeah, and you guys either one of you had gone and asked me out at the stake house, I would have been really delighted because that is my title. So you would how close are you in your husband like that's going to work you think? Would not give a shit if I was to if you walked in right now and I was

like, I'd probably name you, but I also bang you too. Like he's the least jealous person ever. Right. Next time he gives you a one too many big guys, here we go. Get him a DM. Thank you. I gotta go. You guys will see. Bye. Bye, bye. Thank you. Bye. Thank you.

Bye. You wouldn't give a shit. Like I could be like, oh, I'm spaniard. This comedian's house. He call to everybody. I wouldn't give a shit. He, he, he, that, like, I could be like, oh, I'm spanned out of this comedian's house. He doesn't care. Yeah. I want a jealous, but he's not. Yeah, but you're, but you married, look at it.

I'm a man, but you're, you married a legitimate man. You married the guy I always wanted Don to have. You hoped for her. I I hope for dawn. I mean you married a man's man you married a guy who wants to come home and relax a little bit and give him how you doing baby. All right. I'm gonna sit down and I'll do my thing. Yeah come over here in a couple minutes after I'm done and then give it a you know what I mean a couple minutes after I'm done. And then give it a, you know what I mean? And he has a single female friend. He hangs out at the firehouse. He's always with dudes. He just wants to be, he's total introvert. Just wants to be left alone, you know, but he's he's going and he loves the

comedians. But yeah, now he's just like, yeah, yeah, what I'm gonna tell my house, I don't have to worry about him. One second walks in, not fucking afraid of anything. You know, some guys, like some people's husbands walk into my, like my house, or you have a barbecue or you have a party. And you're like, you're all right. You good? Can I get you? No, I'm okay. He walks in.

Hey, how's it going? All right. Sit right over here. Oh, yeah. And then I'm like, God, these ribs are's it going? All right. She went over here. Oh, yeah. And then I'll be like, God, these ribs are great. He's already eaten. I don't have to be like, I don't have to be like, hey, can you stop some food?

He's like, I already did. There's great stuff. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? He raised his environment since he was 22. His mother, he has like a, his mom's Colombian. She's always like, tell, and she's very like formal and wants it to be like more of a, you know,

gentlemen, she's always like, Peter doesn't know the ways of the woman. He was with the White House. If you don't know, he would leave it empty and this you ask him. So he's laid back. You know, like, you know, when you play that game with the person you're with and you like lay in bed,

remember our first date, like when you left, did you think this or were you think that there were no thoughts in his head? There was no activity You know like he wasn't like I wonder what she know nothing even when he like he was engaged before we were married married He broke the engagement and I'm like there's a story there like what's the story? There's no story like he's like it I guess we didn't like Whatever story. There's no story. Like he's like, he gets we didn't like a vibe or whatever. I'm like, compliment me. Tell me why that was so rough. This is so right. You know, and I go, what was it about her? What was it? And this is I'm not fucking making this up. This is the fact

he was able to grab when he was just staring into the door, like, foreign any emotional thought. He always left like coffee grinds out like around the coffee maker, and I'm like, that's not a thing. Like, I would do that. She was like, yeah, but she left like a lot of them. So I guess that was kind of annoying. And I'm like, you were engaged to her. Like, what happened? She wanted me to move to like a, I think it was like point pleasant for Siner and I'm like, no, none of this is why you don't break up with some of it. They have like invitations out. There's no emotional intelligence. He's denied to me before that he's had issues before because I've never had issues. No, I don't have this.

It's just general issues. Yeah, no, there's no. No, there's some, there are men who don't have issues. I need that. I need a data firefighter. I'm always dating artists who are like crying. Yeah, no, but he does. Like he screams that he, that's what he quit drinking like two years ago because like he

would yell about the founding fathers whenever he would drink. He would start screaming about like, the fuck the fuck the dude should have done. I'm like, I can't found him. I'm with you. Any, I'm not. So there's, there's, there's stuff there, but it's, oh, is it really airtight down?

Like, it's not. Do you have to be careful where you bring him? Well, I mean, you mean the terms of like, he's not, he doesn't like, he's not like a truck guy or anything. So no, no, no, no, I don't, that's for, first of all, yeah, I don't, I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't, I don't know why that's a bad thing. Well, you were talking, I thought you meant like, you know, liberal, like, do you, like, okay, like dawn, okay? I, I don't have to be, I'll bring her wherever she wants to go,

right? But I have to make sure she's not going to get, if dawn starts drinking, then she starts yapping. And when Dawn starts yapping, you know, she's like, la la la la la la. And then you go over to her and you talk, I don't care who cares. And she gets Boston, if someone fucks her there, the fuck was that?

Fuck her. And it's like, I got it. You know what I mean? I gotta be careful, right? I gotta tell you. I gotta tell you. Yeah, like Dawn. No, before when he drank, yeah, like darn. No, before when he drank, I would have to. But he has, because every once in a while,

he was like everybody's favorite at a party, but every once in a while, he started founding fathering or getting involved, somebody has some debate about the constitution or some shit. But for the most part, no, I mean, he could go anywhere. Yeah, he just like, he, he, I swear to God, he should be with Don and I should be with you. It makes way more sense, right?

Yeah. You come home and I would fucking listen to you. And I'd for long stifles with you. And I would say you look beautiful tonight. You don't let people get you down. Don't worry. You'll have a better show tomorrow. That's the way things happen.

And baby, I love you. And I push your hair back over your ear. Yeah. And don don. Don, I'm seriously. I've come home to Don and tried to tell her like emotional stuff. I caught her not listening. Like, he falls asleep when I try to start like, you don't really hurt me when you said that or something.

He puts them out like a light. People are always like, you ever have somebody you're discussing some issue you have and you go, people go, well, you should just tell them that. Tell them it makes you feel that way. And like, he doesn't care. I put him, I, it's, he's not sitting around going, what's, what bothers her? No, he doesn't, it puts him right to sleep. If I'm like, you know, I really felt like this when, no, no, doesn't care. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't speak that language. I just wanted to discuss anything. I'm ocean. Yeah. Well, it's like probably I remember my therapist told me to tell Dawn, you know, we were fighting a lot and I was getting very angry and I didn't want to get angry.

And he was like, well, just, just tell me she hurt your feelings. And I remember we got into this big fight. And I was like, you, you hurt my feelings. And she was like, what? I was like, you hurt, well, you hurt me when you say that. She goes, like emotionally. I'm like, yeah, inside it hurts. It reminds me of, I kept going on. That she's like, I swear to God, I heard her say, all right, fag. Relax. Like dawn doesn't, dawn doesn't like that yet. So I'm telling you, your husband should be with my wife. Yeah, it says we probably need a little bit than that. I mean, I need, because I could ramble all day. I mean, I'd listen to you too. I just be sitting there.

We be, we both have journals together. Yeah. Because like, when I get, when I did stand up for the first time after I had the baby, I brought Pete with me and he doesn't know that he needs to say something nice when I got off stage. He never does. So I get off the first time back. I forgot some things, but you know, you're convincing yourself you didn't bomb.

I was like, okay, I don't think I bought like I just I didn't buy like you know, and I get to the car. Talk to Gabby about that. She knows about that. Yeah guess I didn't buy. They like me. You know, and I, it's the car. Talk to Gabby about that. She knows about that, because I know. I crush every time. I'm like, well, I get into the car after, and he was like, that was weird, right? And I was like, no, but I thought I would.

Okay, now I was weird. Now one guy was looking at you, like, you will be weird or something. I'm like, I was trying to try not to, I haven't been on since I got a baby. It was a global pandemic. I just had your baby he's like yeah but I mean they were I don't think they like you every moment that you convince yourself nobody else heard or experienced that way he's like that I was a weird moment it's

yeah talk about that when they like it's completely painful but he doesn't know you But he doesn't know, you know, he doesn't know. I remember he's not curious, but in that sense, it's nice because it's like, you know, he just sort of accepts what and he's not going to lie to you. But like when I take my Netflix special, I get off stage and I saw a pee across the room talking to somebody on the set.

And I was like, what is he saying? Like, oh, maybe they're bonding, whatever. And I walk up and Pete's going, she doesn't have to do this, right? And it was like a shot after the special where somebody walks out from the street and they walk on stage and take the mic. It was a series of specials and they were having us do that long tracking shot to the stage, right? And Pete was trying to get me out of it because he wanted to leave. He just goes into the producer because she doesn't need to do that, right? because he wanted to leave. Like, he just goes up to the producer because she doesn't need to do that, right?

That's kind of silly. And she's like, let's get around it. Because we need to go back to hotel and I'm kind of hungry. I'm like, what are you doing? Oh, no. Yes, I do have to do. Oh, you can't do that.

Just show us special. You know, and I walk up, and the guy is so confused. But he's used to being the captain. He's used to being the boss. So he just goes, we don't need this, right? Come on, being the cat that he's used to being the boss. So he just We don't need this right come on I'm kind of hungry and I walk up but I'm like Pete like yeah, they need the shot. You have no information to offer the situation I just put it the guy sorry. He's a fireman and they were like oh thank you for his service cuz fire Metrups everything. Yeah, I know. I can't do that. I can't do that with gone. I can't I can't go. Oh, sorry. She's an esthetician.

Yeah, I mean, it's a bite of normal like like he doesn't, he just doesn't care. He really truly doesn't. And I think Dawn is the same way. He doesn't care about any of that stuff. You know, like he'd never been to LA before. So there is something refreshing, but it's sometimes it's quite painful as well. All right, well listen, we got to wrap this up. I have to go. Dawn has me riding the bike trail to, um, uh, fucking max has basketball. Apparently there's a bike trail from our house to basketball. And now he can ride a bike.

So I have to we're riding bikes. That's really cute. That's amazing. You know, you fucking both make me sick. We have the name so quick. All right, let's do the names real quick. This is the section. All the new Patreon members, I like to acknowledge them. I like to read their names. Let them know. I say thank you. We all say thank you. And this one dollar thing, Mike, you got to shut that off. People can donate whatever they want. They don't get access to stuff, but they can just donate if they want to give you money. People just give them money. Some people do that. All right. Well, Jesus, that's so sweet of you then. I thought might turn the one dollar thing back on.

No. Are you Shua? I am sure. Can I read like the first tube for fun? Yes. Okay. Yeah, go ahead. Joshua Savoy.

I'm gonna buy my hand up for the first two, all right? Well, I like that. Ethan M. Perry. Keep reading, keep reading. Yeah, do you have the third one? Daddy Yankee and the tortellini Tushes. That's just ridiculous. All right, I'm done. All right, Andrew K. You motherfucker, come on down. And I want to say something to Jason and Perry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I should go. By Rachel. I love you. I'll see you later. Rachel, everybody, give it up. Rachel, you got anything to plug? Just go to my Instagram. Rachel finds an underscore. I'll be at the stress factor.

I'll have 10 or 30th and I post the rest of my shows there. I don't really have to. I'm going to sit here. I was just. Oh, good. All right. So direct them. Yes, $10.

You get my fucking titty um Brian Bishop Jeff Crawl and fird and Xanon Xanon with a Polak cannon Xanon with a Polak cannon and Andrew K is that it that is it wow that Wow. That's not a lot of people. Rachel, is there any like, everybody? Oh, Gabby, you just talk right over me. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry.

If there are any like young, hot firemen just running around that are like 27 to 32. This is not fucking tender, okay? All right, you're a pretty young girl. You got all kinds of skills. Get a fucking Instagram and just do songs on it acoustically and you'll get a fucking dweeb, you like the fuck, okay? Maybe I want a fireman now.

It seems like this is perfect. You don't want a fireman. You're too well. I don't look out for you though, but I only if you're a genuinely good guy because sometimes when you're a, you have to get a certain amount of ass out of your system. Like my, my husband, he was 15.

Now he's, he's not like at a bar, he's at Costco. Like there's no mystery left. So you kind of have to get him at that point with the fireman, because when they're young, they got such a good ass. Sure. How the new podcast called Meeting Guys, I don't want to hear it between you two.

All right, you're both making me sick. All right. You know what you want to do? Sometimes you just want to wait and make sure they're good And then you know because at the beginning Shut up both of you. You're both smoking hot. You get as much dick as you want. You just want perfect dick, okay? And so that's what everybody wants a nice perfect dick and nobody gets it, okay? Rachel got it gone got it, but you ain't getting it right now, Gabby. Okay.

Focus on something else. Get yourself a good vibrator. Call it a day. I want to thank everybody in the chat. Melissa Lou, Crumbum, Chris, Greg, all these other people. Thank you guys for the best you ladybugs. We love you so much. And this September 12th, I will be two shows only for the Connecticut Comedy Festival hosted by Voodoo Ranger. I will be at Fairfield, Connecticut behind the Fairfield in outdoor show. It's going to be amazing. If you live in Connecticut, if you live anywhere near it, please come down, get your tickets now. Spread the word, retweet, tweet, share, like all that shit. Help me get the word out there. Gabby, what do you got?

Wait, one second. Also, Mike, where else am I? You're going to be in Worcester at the beer garden on September 19th and West Nia on October 3rd. And Saturday, October 24th, big show in Lakewood, New Jersey, Ron Bennington's last comedy show, first energy park. And I want to say go to if you want to get tickets for that, we just we just put this whole thing at live from home plate.com. That's live from homeplate.com. You can get tickets to the meet and run Bennington show. It's at a stadium. It's around 500 seats. VIP is sold out. Get the other tickets. Now it's going to be an epic show. Muzzle tough. Go ahead.

I have a podcast called Unabash podcast available everywhere. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Gabby is Brian. And she has a Jersey gap for all you fells out there that a single. Make sure. Call me later Gabby. I want to hear what happened with the thing and Rachel. I love you the best. No, you're great. Great mom and mush. What do you got?

Follow me at Mike. Be swerved. Follow the show at why can you do and make sure you send anything to rkpatreon at jamel.com if you have any artwork or things you want to share with us. Also it's always great to say in Rachel because she's the person who got me my first road work featuring. Hello, I'm San Antonio, I remember that. Yeah, I worked with you there and then you got me into hyenas after that. That was great. Oh wow.

Fucking. Thanks, machine. That was great. Oh wow. Fucking Thanks, machine. You killed it. Thank you. Most I'm trying to get you this weekend till fag. No problem. I understand that they can't know how it works, but I always know you're trying. Alright, buddy. I'll see you later. Say the line. Say the line. You know what, dude? We'll see you next week. later. ¿Cero qué cierre los ojos un segundo? ¡Tier, chitty jobs! ¿Qué tú piensas que tu pueblo puede ser bonito? ¿Y ocurre? Este viernes, uno de diciembre, Euro millones sorté un superbote especial de 200 millones de euros. Euro millones. No hay nada más grande.

Lo querías de recuerda que juegas con responsabilidad y solosieres mayordedas.