Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Raped a Parable

Episode Date: July 27, 2015

Robert is joined by Mark Normand, Wil Sylvince, Louie Katz, Rob Mallioux, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? You know what, dude? On the RiotCast Network.

RiotCast.com. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is going to be a costifier. But, guys, podcast has no rules. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a mic?

Oh, what the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic ad. I have what you guys want. It's just us sitting down and he happens. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin

The day you think my podcast is popular I might affect somebody's life. You never know You know Oh, that's not a fart. That was pretty tough. That motel was coming out of my buttole. We're back. We have the old Deepu Fade. Yo. His beautiful camera work.

Welcome to the YKWD live broadcast on Tuesday. Oh, shit. Show, bro. Did it go down? Uh, yeah. It went down. Yeah, I just ended the broadcast. Did you really?

Oh my god. Straight into the town. Out with an unfinished planet. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. There's gonna be a costifying podcast. No rules. I'm gonna go to the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it?

Can I get a mic? No, what the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's 10 no topics, no directions. I love doing it Side to the coin

Do you want to do my podcast is popular? I might affect somebody's life. You never know lightcast.com No, I'm not the fucking long neck base, but yeah, What's up? Okay, we had a little malfunction, D-Poo. Got excited. What the fuck happened? Classic nerd move. It reminded me of freaks and geeks. We don't know what that is. Yeah, sorry about that. I dropped a water bottle on the keyboard.

Yep. And it was the button for end broadcast, apparently. Wow. I have a news on Will. He's coming. His problems with his bike. Oh shit! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait the black, dude? Next, in between the two white dudes. Yeah. The two Jewish guys. I'm not Jewish. I wish.

I wish. All right. Well, that's gotta be doing better, but we get Louis. Proof that Jews don't control the media. Yeah, we're not the media. They do control a lot of Metro cards. That was not good. I don. Why are you sweating like a do you want an audit? It's horrible. Sweats mixed with Rogaine is dripping in my eyes.

That's a real Rogaine ad right there. I love the she-have hairy eyelids and she wants to have my eyebrows soon. Yeah, what did you do? Good visual joke. You're on camera, don't you? I know. Yeah, it's good. You're really people. You have Metzger muppet eyebrows.

Oh shit, yeah, wow. That was Big J's opening joke at his roast. He was like, Metzger had to leave, but he had to be left to mayo with his eyebrows. No one knows who I am. That's a terrible opening that's a terrible opening joke or your opening joke to his podcast are you me you yeah joking yeah all right so scuffle go around the room and introduce everybody I think we'll be on the way at rob me you in the room in Canada sure yeah you still in Canada I just sold my place. I'm here, like I'm setting up a room here and everything.

I'm fucking making the transition. That's, yeah, I'm not just setting up a room, like for rooms or anything. Yeah, a comedy room. So you set up a room here? Yeah. Oh, look how excited you got here. Oh, another shit room I get to work.

Yeah. Some fucking alpha male attack dudes. Bitch me out all the time. Oh. I need a father. That's all we need is another fucking Lewis Gomez You call me better Lewis. I used to call it better Lewis Hey, so so you you sold your condo yeah two of them right yeah, yeah, yeah You sold both of the literature rock still have nothing, but yeah right and now you coming down here You're just gonna rent a pad. Yeah with your girl, right?

Yeah, yeah, I've run a girl. Is she from Canada too? Yeah, she's a musical theater though So she has something to try to live for here too. It's nice. Well, we'll live for her career wise Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah She's a shitty tasting man. Sure Sure, definitely daddy. Should we have the show with you? Oh. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. I'm gonna have the most of that minute snake sound like a balloon float fuck me Yeah, I almost got it. I was a self-deprecating one too. I was gonna go to a fucking pool float when I get on it Hey, it still works. I think it was a sound you guys are looking forward. Yeah, I like that. I was confused I don't have the confidence to give you the bandana either. I don't feel it's my play shit. Oh believe me. There he is

12 gear break. Fucking bike chain. All right, settle down. Calm down, calm down, calm down. Calm down, calm down. I'm not having a fucking good. Calm down, calm down. Anybody know how to fix a bike chain?

Yeah, we do. Go to a bike store and have a guy fix it. That's how you fix it. Put your headphones on. Put your helmet on too. Can you? Do you know how many? Does your helmet have a hat in it?

I'm with this shit on because my fucking bike don't work. We can't hear you because you're not talking to the microphone. Put your helmet on too. Can you? Yeah, how man? There's a helmet have a hat in it. We can't hear you because you're not talking to the microphone. Apparently a tour in fucking Australia, you lost how to talk to a microphone. What's up buddy? What's up man? You look at you just got to America. How is it that you wrote a bike here in your less sweaty than cats?

That's Rogan. Because he's been sitting next to black people on the train so he gets sweaty when he's on black people. Wow. Where the hanky sheep? Where the hanky sheep? It's a hank. Oh, God, the fog is down there.

It's not, oh, Jesus Christ. I accept the hanky sheep. I accept it. You know what I'm saying? When I mess up, I do a bad joke. I accept the hanky sheep. He wrote fucking hanky sheep. Dracker.

I'll be the first here show him that. Can you show him that without shutting the podcast down again? I don't know. This motherfucker wrote Hanky Chief for you. Oh. Oh. That's not how you spell Hanky Chief. How you spell?

I don't know. I don't know. That's how I want you to spell it. All right, who else? Spell it the way you spell. Spell it. Spell it. Who's next? Mark Norman's it. Alright, who else? Spell it the way spell. Spellt. Get out of spell. Who's next?

Mark Norman's here. Hey, hey, hey, heat and juice. Good to be back. You're great to juice. No, I wish I was. I'm envious. Well, not of that one, but I'm envious. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Who's I? That was funny. It's funny because you're sweating. Yes, sweating like shit. I wish it would stop I just want you guys you got like some of clothes on you know you got a v-neck right? I'm probably hairier than everyone here, so that's what you just like go marry me balls I'll be your camp counselor That's good joke so you now I didn't see the movie yet. Are you in the movie? I got cut out fuck. I did not

Yeah, I hope I'm on the DVD, but Norton got cut out and Metzger and me got cut out brutal I would kill be a part of this Was it funny? It was pretty funny. Yeah tell us a thing Basically Schumer and her friend are at a bar hammered and I hit on her and I'm like a Wall Street douche You know, I'm like hey what's shaking baby? And I like hit on her and I'm like a Wall Street douche, you know, I'm like, hey, what's shaking baby? And I like hit on her and she like I buy her a bunch of drinks and she walks out on me. Yeah, they cut it out. Yes All right, but I was also trying to be Judd apt. I was terrifying on set by the way I've talked about this why because he he wants you to he's like you're a comedian. You're a writer be funny

And I'm like this is my first major movie set. I'm already terrified. I memorized the lines. That was hard enough Now you want me to add live and shit. I couldn't do it. I'm like this is my first major movie set I'm already terrified I memorized the lines that was hard enough now you want me to add live and shit I couldn't do it I'm a joke if you could have done it you would have been on the internet live right now I you're probably right yeah that's what he is I think he's fucking great he's a great guy I know but I mean I love that he yeah I hate when they're like just say you're fucking line oh yeah yeah I wasn't ready he's you're right he was yelling out great stuff he was yelling out great stuff. He was yelling out, you know, say this. He was coming up with lines to say along with stuff that I was saying.

Oh, you want to do? I have one line. But it's a laugh line, which is nice. You get a big laugh. Yeah, it's a laugh line. And, you know, I mean, it's good to look. I couldn't be happier for Amy yeah because it is that it is the number one comedy in the country right now yeah easily and it's she put everybody in it

mm-hmm as she put everybody in it and you can't control what it's cut oh who gets cut yeah I mean they have to do whatever they have to do to make the movie the best movie it can possibly be totally totally so you know things, some people got cut, some people didn't, I mean, I won, I did a million lines that one made it, which is great, and Jed was fucking, I think he, Judd, sorry, Jedd.

No, I'm not the top of the clamp, it's, it was a friend of mine. Texas T. He was. Yeah. Yeah. When you improv. Sure. I don't know if you know you improv, you're in.

I don't know if you know that's the improv that improv that whole show. Oh wow. Beverly Hill Bill, that whole thing. Yeah, that song he made up on the fly.

What song is this? What song is this? Oh God. Perfect strangers. So why? Yeah. Beverly Hill Billies. They they

they impried that whole show. All right. I wish there was a dumb bandanna You should get though you can get it What? That's funny. That was not that funny. No to us it was because you're stupid. I know that was the fun.

What is that sad? I feel like you're faking that you're smart guy. Is this a stick? Did they in part the whole Beverly Hills field? That's not a stick by the way How do you feel now? I was gonna be a living heart. How's your white guilt now? All-time high of course we have Mark Mark Norman and then we have the beautiful wills back Yeah, so will sell vent where you will like a six months in Australia

Silvent where you were like a six months in Australia Yeah, for months Wow, it was dope man. It was dope. I don't know what that did you have a time machine and go back to the 80s and pick up some slang She's time. Hanky she time That in your mouth The first one. I don't think it was that bad. It was just a little wordy I just kept going with it And if he wasn't so hard hold on on, say it again, say it again. I could forget it was so bad.

I swear I got it over, remember? Back in time machine. I did you pick up, oh, say it again. I know, I'm not getting the bomb dead twice. What happened to your hands when you were out there? I was picking my bike chains. I was picking my bike chains. I was picking my bike chains.

I was picking my bike chains. I was picking my bike chains. I was picking my bike chains. I was picking my bike chains. I was picking my bike my bike chain We can probably why are they so small that my cause of my dick look big you got a huge dick usually That proves that the whole bit with sizing hands is not true. You have a small pecca those are small hands It's true. Everybody got a salted they were like I had to wait small look at that And you're doing our you got a decent rod. Yeah, I do you heard about that. Yeah, I read about on the blog So you're in I'll show you for how long four months. You heard about that? Yeah, I heard about it. I'm a blog. So you're in Australia for how long? Four months. Why did you go for what is what? I want to.

I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. They had a few festivals, a campber festival. What is it called? Canber. The city of Canber is a capital of Australia.

Canber. You know, you know, saying Canber. Yeah, Canber. No outside United States. No sunshine other than way live. Okay. Yeah. Why are you telling me? I've been outside the states United States, know some other than way to live, okay? Yeah. Why are you talking? I've been outside of the States with you, Dumbass.

With you, on the road. We did Canada, went to Ramuna, I've been outside. Canada's not the United States. I've been to Fox Water Park, really? It's quite a huge passport. I'm kidding. Yeah, know that? That is outside of the United States.

That's still like here, man. No, it's not. It's North America. It's a part of North America, but it's not us. It's you need a passport. You can't just walk in. You need a passport because it's a law, but you you could go. You could snitch.

Yeah, that's how other countries work. There's laws. It's different. You dumb. Did you want to call them smart still? All right. I'm trying to be your lawyer. For the fence rest. So you and I went from Canberra to Melbourne,

Kami Festival, which was a month, the whole. I did the entire festival. Then I went to Sydney to Melbourne, which was a month the whole I did the entire festival then I went to Sydney, and I did the Rose Show, the Rose Show, I did Brisbane, I did our... What? Brisbane. Yeah, Brisbane. Yep. I'm not really not hearing you.

I'm not trying to catch you in sync. Brisk, Brisbane. I'm not trying to catch you in Wheel Talk. I'm just not hearing you all all we Maybe I am traveling all right good you're out of laid. Yes Cala Cala Louie Calgouli I said that by Cal Gouli. I don't know what you said though Margaret River, right? I can't it's a gang of cities. A gang of cities. Is this a speech impediment of stutter or an accent?

Or is it all three? As you're sure, your shirt is a mess. What? Wait a minute. Hang on, what's that? It's Tourette's actually. I wasn't trying to, I'm just trying to figure it out. Because I've never noticed it before.

Like this. I have a lazy tongue and then a little bit ofian accent and then some dumbness sprinkled on top Not sure that should be your flag So you go Oh boy, let me ask you a question Let me ask you a question. Oh boy. Let me ask you a question. So you went to do one and then they saw you

or did you go to do four months? Did someone see you? And last year? Last year they said come back this year. And then they also, the Melbourne International Conference has a vote show that goes on from May all the way to September. And I'm like, yeah, I want to do it for like at least two months. And like, yeah, we'll give you a lot of dates.

And I perform on with just about anything. Good money, good money. Good, they give you, podium, pay for everything. I love that. Is that just for laughs or meldmer? Is that the comedy festival? No, just laughs a whole different festival. Okay, so they have a festival over there too, right?

The Melbourne Tatcher Comedy Festival. Right, so. And then they have a vote show. How did you hook up with this person they saw me last year when I did the headliner show what's the headliner show is a show it's almost like they put four comics on it you'll do 20 minutes wow that's great it's like they fly you out there fly you out they put business class business class yeah oh god yeah just your laughs wanted to fly me out coach I just couldn't do it because your size is going like this

Coat doesn't make sense Huh, oh, I want to fly first class cuz of my size. Yeah, but I wouldn't fit in coach. I didn't say that I did but you missed it You all right, that's fine. I would kill for that coach seat. I would love to go to Montreal. You can. The dress is always the best. I want to be invited. I want to be invited.

You never been to Montreal. I want to go every year. I did. So you're a friend there. I've been twa I'm just saying. I would love to go this year. So you turn them down. Stop yelling.

Stop yelling at me. I turn them down. I turned out the Australian one. You turn down the line it stop it stop yelling I can't wait to my career get that stop it no right no, I didn't I couldn't there was something else involved That's the point Bobby that you got shit going on and you're turning shit down I was when I was didn't have shit. I don't know what you talk about. Well, I heard you up for a sag award Huh is that true? What I heard you're up for some award

Sagnore his titty sacks Look me up a see if I'm on a second Just picked up his tits pop up Just picked up his tits pop up. That's what I heard. I don't maybe that's the red that in the same blog or read that Louis had a big dick Now bringing that back thank you for Segway, I know Louis cats is back on the show. Yeah, how are you buddy good good? What are we a fucking morning zoo show? So you, uh, how long?

You just gonna let that go by? Auga? I like that sound. That's a morning Zoucia. That's a morning Zoucia. He's doing the morning Zoucia. Morning Zoucia was like when you're on the road, you have to do radio.

You. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha No one has any idea about it. And nobody from Canada. I'm Canadian co-brand. I'm Rob. What's up? You guys can meet your men. Yeah. Did they introduce you? They? You were late. We were late.

Yeah. Are y'all went this way? Yeah. Black comics always makes the first impression to introduce you. That's natural. You're always late. I'm not used to lying there.

It's a little scuffle. Scuffle. Will, you're always late. No! Well, I called you N texted you twice today and no response I guess I'm not coming by your text, but I'm always on time. We talk my look at the records Let's go to the YKW filing cabinet. Yeah, you We sweating again because he thinks it's records.

That was good. That was a theme joke. You gotta cut them to the side again. Same with the Auga, that's a theme. Louis, so you a theme. Yes. Louis, so you have a big dick. Yeah. How big is it? It's a, it's, it's a just slightly above average in length, but it's got some nice girth.

What's average? But you're a little guy, which helps. It look bigger. Yeah. What do you got? I got a, I say it's five and five, five eights. Five and five eighths. Five and five eighths. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait what?

It's a quarter of a bull's dick. It's dick. I would kill myself if I had that dick. It-5-8. Wait a minute, wait a minute. What? It's a quarter of a bull's dick. It's dick. I would kill myself if I had that dick. It's a good dick. And the career. This one, all I got is the dick. No, come on man, you doing good?

Where are you at now? Where are you in LA? Hold on, hold on. This adjusts five and five-eighths. I don't really do what I'm talking about the ace. That's fine, five-eighths. We'll hold on. Let's adjust this five and five eights. I don't really do want to talk about the eight Five is will hold it round round up around down right. It's like a queen sizes up between sizes Only time you count the eight is when it's small no one count of eight when you got 10 or 12 I don't have 10 or 12. I got five and five eights. Is that your Husky? Yeah, is that wide to he's wide? It's wide and it's also wide. It's wide and it's also, it's wide and it also curves up.

Oh, I got it's good. It's good. It's good. It's a good dig. I'm just going to say it. So you can hit the male G spot in your asshole? Exactly. I just like the milk dudes. You know what?

Yeah, I need a good milking. I'm not jumping in that one. There's two jokes in that one for me. Let's see those others. milking. I'm not jumping in that one. There's two jokes in that one for me. That's he knows others. I'm up for another award. Hey, hey, so Will, that bum is you think five and five Aces Bullshit? I, I, he said, I, what's average? Cause I don't five inches average. I think five and a half. It's like five. I don't know five was six and five and something was out. No, four four inches. It's six is average. No, it's five.

No, it's five and it's like five and something like that. I mean, the way for is average. Hang on. Hang on. Can we shut the fuck up? I'm gonna find out right now. Okay. So we're gonna have Deepo go on the the world wide web. The stupid look at that. And he's going to look up the average size. They're going to know. So you don't have to fucking win. We're all doctors. Like we know we don't. Okay. His dick might be over above average. It's slightly above average and length. Certainly above average and width. With the eighth, right? I mean, that helps every eighth.

I like a kid. I'm four and a quarter. No, are you going to regular pack? All right. I'm a solid medium. What's that? What is that? I'm not now we got look a lot of enemies. Well, you throw off the curve. Let me just say that right now All right, I'm a curve. Oh You throw off the average Rob's got a big piece, too, right? I'm all right But I'm not as thick as it like it could be thicker I'm getting thin like it's not thin, but it's just not like you know, you know, you could be girthier for like as big a Dude as I am sort of you know, I could too. I could be girthier. I got veins for days I might look like I'm gonna switch and I go as arm well that's

Today It looks like his arms now. Here we go. According to menself.com, one erect, the average penis swells to 5.2 inches in length. Five eighths! I'm doing five eighths. I'm above average. I'm above average. I'm above average.

But you have to have four inches with that. My four inches is five. Which is five. What do you got, Bobo? Sometimes I'm a foreign. He's a foreign. When you got Bobo. Sometimes I'm above average. It depends on the weather. It depends on the dress he's wearing. It depends on the stomach.

How tight I close my eyes when I'm fucking my wife. But they say it, it's funny. We all go length, length, length, length, but it's really about the width. The width is what's important. I got that nice. I have enormous balls. I like really un-normally. important with. I got a nice, I have enormous balls. I like really un-nor- I know.

I know. Except to a small ball. Yeah, I got like big balls. I got like big balls. Me too. I think balls, I think balls actually do contribute. They give a little, they knock it on the ass. Oh, why are you fighting them?

Yeah, girls always say they like it, but I just feel like that's just there being a good sport. Yeah, they don't care. A girl had to, when she was second by ball, she went and had to go, then it touched my tank to get to my balls. Yeah, that's just there being a good sport. Yeah, they don't care. A girl had to win two seconds of my ball. She went and had to go, then it touched my tank to get to my ball. Yeah, that's how that, you get recessed balls? My balls are really small.

That's because it's as thick as it's dig to go all the skin. The dig to go all the nut skin. Sometimes I get like ball camel toe in the back if I'm not careful. Like that's how much extra ball. In the back. In the back.

Whoa. A ball rocking. Rare camel toe? You're bulls. I feel like I'm going to stop talking about your wrist the toilet. I got so much extra ball rockin Ball rockin Guys talk it over each other Jesus Christ Guys a fucking assholes you listening to yourselves Try not to be headphones please. I see the leader. Yeah, no, no. I'm not the leader I'm just trying to tell you that people are listening and they're not gonna be able to hear you and then I get the emails going Dude, everybody talks I'll reach a fucking show dude I'm going back you that people are listening and they're not gonna be able to hear you and then I get the emails going Dude, everybody talks, I'll reach a fucking show, dude. I'm going back to one minute views. Wait, you're calling me a car?

You got it. for an Emmy nomination. But I did not get you, but I've been up for it a bunch of times. They put 200 people, one from every show or two from every show gets up. Can that be closed, please? I see. And then it gets down to the five or six people that they pick. But yeah, like you, but you know, the odds are ridiculous. Here's how ironic it is that the one I was in, Louis actually got nominated for the category I was in for another show.

For satin at life. So the guy show I was in and got nominated, he got nominated for another show. I was going up against Louis with somebody and he actually got picked. Right. Which is great. What was the category? I think it was Guest something or whatever the fuck that guest appearance. Yeah, guest appearance comment.

But yeah, I mean, it's cool to see your name with all those other fucking people. Yeah, that's cool. And it would be, I mean, hold the shit to ever get, imagine if that, if someone just, nah, we like that guy. Yeah. Well, you know, whatever, if you snuck in somehow.

Hell yeah. And then, uh, Emmy's sitting right there. How crazy would that be? I wouldn't know. This, this, I'd be done with the show. Scubbo would be sitting right here. And these chairs would be empty. That's funny. Uh, the other floor team was up for one. Oh nice.

Oh nice. That's voice and comedy. Yeah. Yeah. How do I can't do it? Yeah, you know, no, I don't like it. Yeah, fuck hamburgers. Why would you touch shit? Yeah, you don't do that. I fucking giant. Fuck the giant. Do do what's already like? Yeah. Yeah. It's it's it's almost similar to do Ar the language playing playing Batman who's Batman? Yeah, it wasn't Hey, it's already laying Fucking guy Yeah, I'm gonna fight crime. I know This cow on a more too fat

Chris cotton's over here. You know my fucking my my fucking food Run fucking Hasbro guys. He's work for Howard. I have no thought, man. I'm fighting crime over here with fucking R2, fucking Deepu Indian kid. I'm gonna use my leg, I'm gonna use my leg, those fluffy pastries his mother's makes.

I'm gonna go, it's nicely done. I'm done. But what can I say, I've only listened like since Deepu's's been on I expected him to look a lot more Indian than he does Yeah, I blend in pretty good donut. Yes, not nearly as like in Alabama Whatever you want I didn't say you've learned that you shoot those guys in Tennessee. Oh Oh, thank you. Thank you. There's a two soon to the zone.

We're changing the bomb band to the to the to the to soon band and it could be a bomb. Hold on. Hold on. Give it back to him. Give it back to Bobby. I'll take it for a minute.

I don't he said it too long. Hey, he's sub screaming at me. What is why? What did you was that we had to tell you the to the bomb band to the to the to so that you know what? You know what? Exactly right.

You know what? We're super happy. All right, we it back. You know what? Exactly the right. You know what? We got it. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. When you ask, when you kill him in, I'm right.

When you did the act out, you made sense. First of all, did they not, on the toy, you did not use microphones? Why are you so loud? And it's still here. What are you saying? I'm just a little loud. So, that's a two-soul. And was that, no, first you saying? That was a real question.

That was a real question. Can I turn my fan this way? Are you cool off? Yeah, I'm good. I'm dry down. I'm very good. Thank you for trying it. Yeah.

Did I really was asking how? Not actually making a joke. I was back in the car. But what were the shows amazing? By the way, I had a friend I was over a joke. I was like, what are the shows amazing? I had a friend that was over in Australia doing festivals as well. He said you were doing really great. Everybody said that. You probably didn't meet him. He's nothing.

He said you were doing well. That's a great festival. A lot of people do well. It's just a great festival. People love comedy. It's the cities. I want to go to, who do we get in touch with, tell the festival that I want to go? Susan's the, she's not right there.

She knows you. She like me? Yeah. How do you know? I can't do it. I talk to her. I talk, I talk, I talk to her. I do the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the,

why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why the, why Why KWD? Why KWD? You're reading it. How does it fuck you by reading it? How does it make it worse? Why KWD? Imagine you want to sing I-Chart. He's using my podcast to oil fucking fences up. What the hell?

What's this stuff you used to? It's nothing. What's this stuff you use to? You don't say? You don't say? You don't say? You don't say? Mark! Mark!

Mark! Mark! Mark! I just put Mark into a shitty joke coma. Oh! For real? For real? For real?

For real? For real? For real? For real? For real? For real? For real? For real? For real? For real? For real? I don't know what to do with panic. Oh, that was funny. Oh, that was funny.

He looks like an evil villain. He looks like an evil villain. He looks like a real world lord. He really does look like a world lord. He looks like the second world lord in a video game. Like level two. He's a guy in a video game. Like level two. He's the guy in the video game burning a CVS. Too soon Norman here.

Not even too soon, just wrong. Come on, it's comedy. Don't get PC on me, defact Chopra. So, fuck me. I saw a lot of things happened over the week. Rob actually is here from Canada. He would try to move here for a long time. Yeah.

And now you finally did. What part of Canada? Around Toronto. I'm from Windsor, originally. I'll write across from Detroit. Safe Detroit. Yeah, beautiful. It's not even safe to try. It's already tried, really. It's a shithole. But shut up to Windsor originally though right across from Detroit. Safe Detroit. Yeah, beautiful. It's not even safety try.

It's already tried really. It's a shithole, but shut up to Windsor. But it's a bleed over to Windsor. Yeah, because we like we designed Windsor after Detroit because it's like it's our automotive capital. It's like the use to call it T1 on a North because the whole idea is like weed was kind of legal. Prostitution was legal.

You could drink at 19 or strippers get fully naked. So it was all about, it was a great party town because all the 19 girls, what year was it? When it was crazy and fun. Oh, oh, before 9-11, 9-11, fuck wins over, pretty bad. Yeah, it's weird to think about that, but like people, it became way harder for Americans

to just casually come over across the border. So the strippers couldn't get fully naked because of 9-11? No, they could still get fully naked. It wasn't like, we don't, they don't wear burkas now. They didn't win. Well, uh, okay. All right, I'll take that.

What about the Canadian car industry? Do you guys have cars? I don't think I'm like, I don't think Canadian has touched that. That's American cars. I'll take it. Yeah, we make cars. We just make your cars.

Oh, okay. In Canada. Thanks. Yeah, I don't know. Well, they're not our cars. They're fucking Japanese cars. Sure. But yeah, we have a lot of poor plans and stuff. So you up, but here's the thing you're up in Toronto and you pretty much run on the shit, right? I mean, I guess, but a lot of shit going on. You knew everybody. You had all these

shows, but it's just a ceiling so fucking low, you know, you know, day much of my watch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's from Windsor too, actually. Yeah. From the same hometown. Yeah. I did the headlines show him. And I said, that's how I got in my heart for the first time. Yeah, yeah, you know, mantra, you know, Melvin. How, how mean normally going to get discovered? I performed for the Suzan last night or Susan. She's here. She's in New York right now. No, she was. She went to Montreal. Oh, what the f**k. She's the seller. She not like me. Do Bobby, you could get in anywhere. What are you talking about Bobby, you could get in anywhere. Will you talk in the mouth?

How can I get in anywhere? Because your Bobby freaking brown. I'm not. I'm actually not. It's very painful. And he couldn't get in anywhere either. That's just why. But you got to show on the air right now.

That's pretty cool. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about that for a second. You're showing on air. Because you couldn't talk about it last time. I couldn't talk about it when you were here. But now four months ago. It's on the fucking, it aired, man,

and it got fucking huge ratings. Oh, great. That's good. It was great ratings live, unbelievable. And then the three day, there's three days, seven days, and nine days DVR now is the way they count all that. And the three day DVR, huge numbers, like fucking huge. So live was amazing, three day DVR was fucking great.

So we're in business, man. We just gotta keep people still watching. We gotta keep them tuned in, you know? And the pilot, you know, it's always the worst of all the shows. Yeah. Because it's all, you know, set up. It's all, who's this, what's happening, blah, blah, blah. You gotta get into your car, that's, it's always the worst of all the shows. Yeah. Because it's all, you know, set up. It's all, who's this, what's happening, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, get into your car.

Yeah. Yeah. So, and it was, but it was a good pilot, you know, as far as pilot goes, it was real funny, had some great moments. Larry was hilarious in it. But next week's episode is waste. Depacility. Depacility is hilarious.

Yeah, he came to the premiere. Oh, cool. Oh, only one episode. It's so far. One hilarious. Yeah, he came to the premiere. Oh cool. Oh, only one episode air so far. One episode. Yeah, Thursday night. Thursday night at 10 o'clock FX, but yeah, he came to the premiere and it was it was like the first episode. Yeah, it was it was all slower setting it up. Introducing the characters and episode two is fucking hilarious episode two. Just gets right and I love it too because it doesn't end. They don't they don't end on happy notes. happy notes. It doesn't solve everything at the end. A lot of the times it's just worse, but it's better for some, you know what I mean? They're like breaking bad.

It's not that crazy, no. The show, I believe it's not the show's real easy to watch. I like TV like that too. Look, I love Mr. Robot, and I like shows that are hard to keep up with true detectives. You know, but you have to really fucking like them to really follow along because they're hard to keep up

what happened, what's he, slow scenes that fucking broad and the bar that sings those depressing songs. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's a true detective, it's 47 sad people in the fucking show. Everyone's playing Matthew McConaughey from last season it's I mean sucks I don't know why anyone's defending the season it blows I don't

derailed this but I've been I know you don't have to derail my fucking show that I'm waiting for my whole career finally on a fucking show it's here it's fucking opened up huge let's talk about another show about bigger numbers fucking twat from Canada I'm kidding from Windsor I know I agree with you I think look I like Vince Vaughn. I love what he's doing. I love it. I love these playing and I love the girl too. She's always the yeah I'm quirky and funny and the romantic lead. She was she was in the notebook. She was in with Vince Vaughn. Who was she in the notebook? The chick.

And the wedding crash. Wedding crash. She was the girl in wedding crash. She was with Vince Fawn. Rachel McAdams. Yeah, she was the main chick in the notebook. Yeah. I love that girl.

I feel like I have James Brown on it. I would have. Yeah, kids. Love that girl. Who? Ah, my own it. My back boogers. I ain't even going to feed in.

I don't know if I can come back in Australia sometime. Who to to to to to to. That's all right. That's my James Brown, do we really? I'm just looking at his face. He's not angry, that's his face. Oh, that's his face. That's him trying to think of something. I think your cock took some brain too. With the ball skin. I've been sitting on that one for an hour.

Yeah, I think true detectives is depressing. Everybody is sad, but it's starting to pick up a little bit. And episodes left. Three episodes, I know. It's starting to pick up. I know, it wasn't. Look, what they did last year was amazing. So the top that is fucking hard.

But I was talking about what was this with Shoals last night. It was amazingly like, was a story amazing? Or was it just Matthew McConaughey put on an acting clinic? And that was what was carried to season. Well, no,ccanae but also Woody Harrelson. And Woody Harrelson. The story was amazing because the serial killer aspect of it, the finding this one guy and finding out who's doing all this fucking tragic shit and it goes from here to here to see these people start out young and fresh and and there was almost a superhero vibe to Makani he could do weird shit or he had this

Comments about so it was acting it was the story. It was the it was the characters and there wasn't that many people though It was two guys now you deal with three, but then there's actually all these other fucking people There's a lot going on in the So, and it's about civic politics. It went from a serial killer to civic politics. Yeah, but there's a murder, this murder, which is happening, and then the shootout, I'm not gonna spoil it for anybody. I think you're hanging there till the end.

I'm gonna watch it till the end, but I'll do it. Yeah, but it's not last year. But think about what they're doing with TV. They created a new way to do TV. It's not the same guys every year, which were such fucking cattle. Moo, we want to math them. They actually said, fuck it through the way.

Redid it, recast it, same type of thing, and gave it back to us. And is it the same thing? No, is it as good, maybe not to you or me, but some people might like it. But I liked when they do creative shit like that With the format. Yeah, you shouldn't be suggesting that I someone who has a television show right now Well, they're not gonna do that with my show

Please No That was a good show. Yeah, I really good. I heard it. Really good show. I want you to come back fucking five months ago. Yeah, we every day was good as shit, man. Yeah, I know, but we talked about that show. I wasn't a head, Bobby. So we have to relive it.

Yes. You guys know it's great. It's a family ties. Have you seen family guy? I've heard about that. Yeah. See, I said the same way. He did it. And had family in it. Not a bad delivery. I heard about that. Yeah. See, I said the same way.

He did it and had family in it. Not a bad delivery. Yeah, I think true detectives though this year. It's still a great show. It's better than a lot of... If this was the first year, you'd like it way more. You'd like it way more. I think she's killing it.

She's really good at it. She's amazing. She's so hot doing it. There's a thing. Vince Vaughn went against character. The other gorgeous guy, he's gay. Taylor Kidditch. He's fucking dudes.

This is the sexiest guy around. He only plays fucking hunk dudes that saves people, bangs chicks. He's playing a fucking cop with a secret. That's amazing for him. And he burnt half his body. He took away his asset, which is his body and looks and took away the, he's banging dudes. You know you didn't actually have to burn his body, right? That's just makeup. You know that I know that.

I'm sorry. Put that right back on you didn't I? So I think it's a good show. What do you think Mark? I haven't I only saw the first season I haven't checked it really writes on it. What? Wow, I read on nothing you buy on that show I read on my tiny notebook in my pocket. That's all I write on I don't run on shit Next to his average deck. What's the goal of average? What are you what are you looking for an hour? What do you want? I would like to make a living

What's up? Yeah, things haven't you know things haven't haven't I'm about to things haven't Panned out. Why are you fucking having a breakdown? Why are you still? I'm trying to because I've been told like I should be more positive when I'm in public forums Yeah, but the truth is it's not positive. So, you know who told you that? My friend is he a manager? No Big J cried on the podcast this year. He just got an hour special so maybe give that shot. I'm not gonna cry I'm not a bitch like that You a bitch Jay

Hold on but things don't happen like that you gotta keep working man As long as you're working is like like you know the right grass. Oh it's gonna be that don't mean it's always shinier Why that doesn't make any sense? You just rape the parable Right that makes sense the grass What the fuck but it's not always shine you the grass isn't shiny it is shiny man bumpers a shiny Well it is shiny watches a shiny when you wear things a shiny when you wear Grass What when I was when you wear a glass what happens to it? It's shiny it does not it becomes wet and because shiny White grass What all right

If the grass if grass could be shiny what the fuck with that means still Yeah, okay, you talk about like is always greener on it's always look greener, but that's the mean shiny So someone to you it looked like oh wow will is freaking touring Australia, but I know I'm freaking I got deal with cops white people The white people booking you in Australia to make a chill out of money, those white people. It was an abolition of that big report. What, she said, what's her name? I'm joking. Yeah, she's a huge bitch about white people.

White people is fucking nice by you, all right? We like you a lot. We've done a lot. And we want to talk to you. That's why we're the white people. We run Hollywood. That's what this shows about. You don't need nothing. No, listen. I feel bad. Listen, first of all, I feel bad because you you seem to be a little a little in your head about what the fuck's going on in your

career. But when he says what do you want, the reason why that's a great question is this because if you can say I want this, this and this, I actually you want? The reason why that's a great question is this, because if you can say, I want this, this, and this, I reckon you can go get that. It's called that. Or people can hear that, or help you get that. Or find a way to get it. It's called that direction. What the fuck, and when he says that, you just like,

eh. No, no, I know what I want. What do I want? What do I want to do? Hit me. I'm working on it. I'm trying to, look, I'm trying to, I'm working on a new hour. I'm trying to make an album and a special and I'm working on a screenplay Do it all the stuff. So what do you want? What do you want to do? What do you want? I want to become a touring successful

Popular comedian. I want to make movies. That's not gonna happen I would like to just make a fucking living, which is what I said, which is what I try to tell you. But make a living how, could you give your body for sex? I could give my body for sex, but I would like to. The older man? No, I was thinking about like if I could jack off on a webcam, but I was told that I cannot make money off doing that.

No, people make money off of that? If you had tits, you could. If you had tits, it would be. I've been thinking about getting some tits, and that could be my big breakthrough in the industry. You're not making that, would you? You're not making that, if you weren't got tits you could if you had tits and I've been thinking about getting some tits and that could be my big breakthrough in the industry You know that would be if you went and got tits I know and you got a breast implants. Yes And you still kept the male pattern baldness. Everything would be the same. Yeah, just tits

Just tits and you're fucking hog your five and eights. What is it five and five? That could be the name of your website five and five eight and tips 5 and 5 days and tips if I had it if I had a if I got a rack I think I would all my Prayers would be answered basically that'd be a great show. We should write that movie right that movie We're do just gets tits where guy gets tits and his life changes to the better hold on hold on hold on He had a good point is about what do you want and then it's that so so it's not the hits We all ultimately want to work and we can make 11 but it starts with okay you know what I wanted to work on this show be a vital

this show I want to be a guest appearance on this show I want to do a special and then that leads to other shit so it's like you have to you have to find a habit. Can I say something really quick I never ever in my life thought I'd say this I agree with Will. Yeah, yeah. Hang on a second, I'm gonna throw up in my mouth. But I do, you have to have some direct. No, no.

So vague, I wanna make 11 doing this. Listen, listen, listen, listen, you guys are jumping in. I haven't really explained what's been going on with me. You guys are jumping in with your negativity. We'll go about what we're just saying. All right, all right, so let me say, I had plans, I had direction, I did a European tour for a month and I was

going to come to LA and then I was supposed to take a much of meetings for writing jobs. Where was it that Ukraine? Where did you do this? I was in Latvia, Estonia, Finland, Sweden, Norway and Russia. Wow. Wow. That sounds a lot cooler than this. Always going to.

Yeah. Sometimes I'm just shining you too. You were going to hurt my teeth. Seriously, my teeth hurt sometimes when I hear you. Go ahead. Stay back. That's where I want you on the mic. So I do the European Tournament.

I'm supposed to go to it. And then after that, I plan it so I go right to LA. I'm going to pitch this TV show. I'm going to have these meetings to get on a writing staff. And then I get to L.A. It was all set up. I'm talking to my agent when I get there. I get to L.A.

My agent just stops returning my calls. Just dead stops returning my calls and emails. Really? Yes. So you're pretty annoying. Yeah, but I'm bothering these people. Yeah, when I fly somewhere where I don't really live to try and set up some meetings I think I should get some fucking responses. Oh, I should find out when my fucking meetings are they want to make money back

They want to make money. I'm trying to make them money. I'm gonna make somebody money. All right I'm gonna make somebody I want to Love that attitude good. It's just the question of whether they want to make this money with me or not And they're apparently they don't and that's a shitty way to tell someone that they don't. I agree. Wait a minute, stop, stop, stop, stop. So before you say something that we don't understand.

Let me just say this straight. You go and you do this tour. Yeah. You want to set up meetings when you come back. This was the whole plan. Yes. To go out there and why can I, I'm just being done here. Bobby's having stuff.

I'm being done here. Why would you get meetings for doing a European? No, I wasn't. I'm just telling you what's been going on in life. I'm just telling you what's been going on in life. I just wanted you to go to Europe and then come home and have some meetings in LA. I planned this tour.

You have to plan tours like that once out. So the plan was I'd go there and then instead of flying back to New York, what did they do this? I did this. I do this. I did all that. I booked all the European tour myself. Wow. And then the plan was instead of flying back to New York, they do this. I did this. I do, I do this. I did all that my I booked all the European tour myself. Wow. And then, uh, and then the plan was instead of flying back to New York, where my apartment would be to go to

LA and have these meetings set up and then get all the stuff going. Can I get my something out? Can we just, he's almost there. Oh, so just, and I'm gonna I'm gonna look at you and then you talk like we're looking at now. Go ahead. And then what? I don't know what it would have. So you go, you set up these meetings. They're unrelated, the meetings. They're unrelated. Except for that I flew to LA instead of flying back to New York.

You try, you flew to LA to take these meetings. So when you, before you went to LA, these meetings weren't set up. They were supposed to be talked about. I mean, while I'm in Europe, I'm like, skyping and emailing my agent like, so we can set them up. One of the thing I'm gonna be is like,

oh, I don't know, I should know more in a week. I'm like, great, sounds good. agent like so we can set them up one of their b's like oh, I don't know I should know more in a week. I'm like great sounds good and I get to LA fucking radio silence Yes, yep now Don't nobody interrupt me man. Please. Oh boy. I'm trying out a way that was patient Now if you haven't learned anything from Dan Cook Kevin Hart Louis CK is you got a F Hollywood man You got to stop putting your career in these people's hands. I don't know shit about your career Fuck them. You got to get your freaking fan base on social media We're living a time now where you could grab a whole of your freaking fan base by the balls and control your destiny

You can't freaking keep putting accident strangers. Hey, can you give me opportunity? Hey, can you fuck that shit? Get the fun and how to build your shit on social media. Build it is all about numbers. Stop it, stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, I got one point that you have I got one point. I got one point. You're trying to help you go also all those assholes care about is Numbers they'll care about you got talent if you're funny. That's true if you got 10 million followers. Oh, okay Yeah, you Bigger tack in the world if you got fans. That's it. Yeah, yeah, that's like care about go get your freaking go get your own show on Online build up your own freaking family Since Lloyd was surely and they take it make take two years the same amount of time is taking you now You're gonna get build by that time you had your fan base and then you could go and say hey, what's up? Okay, no, I and I agree with that and that's what I'm saying is like so this is that's what happened to me

So you go to LA since I will hear the story you go to LA your in LA I'm in LA and you get radio silence. Yeah, nothing and you're calling.'re in LA. I'm in LA. And you get radio silence. Yeah, nothing. And you're calling. I'm calling, I'm emailing, it's one point I call, I ask this, I call up, you know, I get the receptionist, they're like, oh, he's not in right now, I'm like, can you just tell me, have I been dropped? And he's like, I'm just tapping today, I'm sorry.

I can't tell you, I can't tell you. So hilarious. You know, he was lying though, right? No, he was, it wasn't the regular person. I just fucking, I'm gonna have to see this dude around. Yeah. Cause he reps my fucking friends. I'm gonna see this dude around yeah, he reps my fucking friends I'm gonna see him around friends didn't make a call for you. I've I mean what can they do?

I was thinking about that was thinking about camping out of the office is waiting I'm like that's that's a way good way to get arrested You know that guy is like big with a girl that don't want to be with you. Yeah exactly Guys guys listen I want to be with you. Yeah, exactly. Right. All right. All right. Change your mind. Guys, guys, listen. Your friend, Jesus Christ, your scream so much will, it gets in my bones, I get nervous. Feel like I'm in a fucking, like some video on Facebook.

Yeah, thank God he's not holding a spear. I have it. That's actually too late. Too late Norman. That joke was funny a hundred years ago. I like vaudeville. So, one of my questions is this, why your friends, okay, if me and your friends we have the same thing

and my agent is your agent and he fucking played you like that. I'd be like, do what the fuck did he do? And I'd call him, go, what are you doing to my, what are you doing to, just tell him it's over. Be a fucking man. That's the problem is that he can't give you a no. You take a no, you just don't want to maybe.

Yeah, or just a nothing. But look, that's exactly. So you still have a talk to him. I still have not talked to him. How long have you been? I just stopped I'm not gonna keep on him I mean this was like I came back at the end of what what is it July? Yeah, I came back at the end of May I came back at the end of May and then and then about mid-June I just decided on my own like all right. This is this isn't happening and I'm done

But it's like it's like you said this is just we should all over We should all over you listening right now what Lou what Louis should do Oh, I don't want it now fucking fans. No fans Sorry fans I can't be related to this show the best gig you've gotten in weeks We have your agent in the chat room It was like the time for the fun was here. The fun was to talk, the fun was show. No, but it was exactly what you said. Well, you know what I realized was that maybe

I think when I'm thinking that there's someone else working doing anything for me, that makes me, I'm not lazy, but it makes me just a little bit, like I'm like, oh, that person's kind of taking care of something. Yeah, and I feel like I can work on something else. And I like it, you know what, really, when I was on my own, or not, I haven't been on,

this is my first time on my own in a decade, but when I didn't have as many reps or didn't have these people, I think they were doing something for me, I was continually making, you know, my career was constantly moving forward. I think when I started thinking that these people are gonna help me make these moves for me, that's when I slowed down.

Man, I'll tell you what, I had an idea, I pitched to my fucking agent back in March, hadn't heard from anything about it, and then come June when I realized he dropped me, I sent my own email, I get a response to that fucking day. That's how shitty they are at middle, they're horrible middlemen, they don't do shit, they literally don't do anything.

So now that I'm in trouble with my own shit, I have plans, I'm gonna try and work on the album, I've got all these ideas, and I'm doing a business and I'm gonna go to bed now, and then come to you. Well now that you can do things on your own, you can film your own special, you can film your own special, you can make your own album, put it on iTunes, you don't need any of these fucking people

to build up a fan base. And you can book your own fucking gigs and save yourself that 20%. Because it's the motherfucker that booked you and then it's the manager that does stuff for you that you have to part ways with them. 50% of the government, and it's just a nightmare. But, I mean, not for me, because I have the greatest manager

in the world, and I love my agent, and they do such a good job. So, you know, I'm happy. Take that 20%. That's what you're introducing the Louis, but I don't want to hurt you. No, he already was. I was already with them.

Oh, shit. Yeah, he dumped them, too. I tell them. I didn't get cast in the goddamn thing. I do think there's an epidemic in this business where a lot of comics are just like, and I can name five guys I'm not going to, but like, I haven't gotten if I can get cast in the goddamn thing. I do think there's an epidemic in this business where a lot of comics are just like, I can name five guys I'm not going to, but like I haven't gotten this shit from him

and they fire agents left to right, and eventually you gotta be like, what's some point is you? Well, name a name. I can, I can. Yeah, it's a mine, friends of mine. I know, no, no, I'm not gonna name a name, but.

Nanda, least one you like. I know a lot of guys who are just like, I'm just gonna run through it. Well, like Hannibal's a of guys who just like I'm just a rind with it. Well like Hannibal's a guy who's he's dropped like five managers over the last whatever Hannibal's he's going to be fine.

You can't compare him to anyone else. Yeah, sure. He's an amazing comic and he's a talent. Someone who's like Louis, he's dropping. Well, nobody's that low. But I'm just saying. I let's go to the chat room real quick.

Well, what do you got? Andrew Jackson says Louis is 5'8's funny. Damn, let's go to a friendly chat. Just 5'5 and 5'8's, sorry. Yeah. Guys, when I was in. Miles Atwood says, will intermittently saying freaking is enraging.

Freakin' what? I'm just gonna see. Nucklehead 2 says there needs to be a will, speak and say. Oh, how would that go? Get that person a hanky chief. No, you know, if you gave a GPS directions, Knucklehead 2 says there needs to be a will speak and say oh That person hinky chief No, you know if you gave a GPS directions that would actually be kind of cool like if you could get an app for that like ways That's how you make a left You next turn

Get your bike chain fixed You'll be kebble copsbs. Hey, dance. Oh, this is about Louis. You're all making about me now. That's a chaperone. It's there. It's about to help Louis out. You know, I'll take away Louis.

That is dead. Yeah. Stephen Gonzalez says is Louis zipper down? Oh, wow. These are super good. Yeah. Yeah. It's a button flying.

The bottom button is broken. But thank you. That's it's cock is so wise It's incredible helping that's that five bait coming out Well, as you got buddy see buddy says Bobby's up for the sag tit award We got that's our critics. Oh, she's a depu. Sorry. I missed it You should the thing off you're off your game today. Well, we had a two week break. Yeah, I'll take it in the compliment then.

I'll give him a hand. Miles Etwood says, the grass is always greener, but it's not always shinier. Why would you say the grass is shinier? I know, but that's not the fucking thing. You can do a bumper sticker line with like bad expressions. Were you getting wrong? Yeah. What goes around comes in your eye.

Or something. That's good. That's not a good one. That's not bad. That's a good one. That's a good one. That was good. That was good.

That was good. That was good. Yeah. Like we're going to like get Clint Eastwood. Next, next. Next, two. MS-69 says, Dick talk is the second favorite topic after trainees. Well, I mean, we I do. Like this is this is we want to go to help you out this fan based.

Go to the regular chat. He's gonna be helping out Louis. The latest. There's nobody helping out Louis. For nobody. Oh, Andrew Jackson says Louis needs a new team, new manager, new agent. Well, that's what he says We know that he just talked about that. Yeah, I mean, he doesn't really get to the side that at this point

Oh Good point. They got to come to you. You got to you got to draw them in well, I mean look There are people that are that might be interested, but I'm I'm kind of sad to be on my own That's a good feeling. That's good for you and the people look man It takes a lot it took me years to find you know a manager and like a like people I like and it's you know I really I mean I like them because they're you know because they cast you in television shows. Well, it's not that dude I earn that they don't do that. I auditioned for shit. I can't just they can't just give me something. Well you're a good actor too Yeah, but it's true like I mean Bronx warrants

The things that that I got at the beginning with them. I mean I wrote a movie with did Derosa and Burr and we did it ourselves. That's right. That's what got the attention of these guys because that's what they do They're not you know, they're not, let's throw spaghetti against the wall, see what sticks. It's, I'm gonna go fucking create something. You wanna create something and you go do it. That's what it is.

I mean, my special to the same thing, you know, and then, you know, that went to that, that went to, and then, you know, Brock Warrant's, I auditioned, there was other fucking other people up for it. I could have got beat out in a second, and I was told it doesn't matter. We have to get the best person for the job. You know who else does it?

That's it because there's too much money on the line. And they have to pay their mortgage. It's not about fucking hey, let's get our friends and shit. That's nice, but let's make the best show we can possibly make and fucking put that out there because we all need to live. It's definitely not about that. And the fact is, is that when you, that actually makes me work harder.

Because if I was just given shit, that would suck. Even the same with the sex drugs and rock'n'roll, I went and learned the drums. I went and learned the part because I was earning the role. You know who I was? So when I found out later that Larry wrote it for me, and I didn't have to audition for that part. That's nice.

I'm not saying that you didn't earn everything that you got. I'm just saying it's a it would be nice if they can. You know what? Sometimes. I mean, you know more. You know, I just don't want the ball to drop. So I'm going to talk for another. Just to keep it up in the air.

Yeah, I mean, the fact is, is that when, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,

that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,

that, that, that, that, that, that, that what? But that's the, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but there's another thing, you know, you say it's hard, but you're going out and... I go with you saying, Bobby. You know who else is?

I don't know. It's a great movie. You know what? I don't think that it's, you know what I mean? So you can't, you have to go, I mean, the people I'm with are very creative and they make shit and they do stuff. Well, here's the thing, I made stuff. Yeah creative and they make shit and they do stuff.

Well, here's the thing, I made stuff. And my reps are what held me back. Because they kept me like, oh, we think we can monetize this. Yeah. Don't put it out. We think we can make money off this. And man, I've been sitting on these videos for two fucking years, waiting for these reps

to get their shit together. And I shot the shit on my own already. And where did it go after that? They just dropped me, so I'm about to put them all out and finish them up Good that's good man now when you finish them out the great part about that is you're gonna own the content I'm gonna own the content, but you own the content on a YouTube video with Here's a deal though. Here's a deal you look man I made a fucking dumb movie with Derosa and Burr on our own for a few grand

Okay, and that led to a book and an FX pilot script. We wrote a fucking script with FX met with the head of FX. I've been friends with them. We wrote a script, got paid for it. And that connection I made that day led to them going, yeah, we trust Bobby. I didn't know what. So that is, is that you don't know what,

that little thing that we said, you know what, let's not wait. I remember sitting there going, why are we waiting for somebody to give us something that we're not gonna get? And why don't we just make it and fuck it? If it works, it works, if it doesn't, and it worked, and now, hey, look at that,

look at that fucking thing over there, right there. That's the book we, that King from, I wrote a, I'm in the writer's guild. I'm a fucking, I'm an author. I want to bunk a hill community college Okay, I don't know what to to use in a sentence and you know I wrote a fucking book. We're gonna take a break Back right after these commercial messages with everybody in the room We got Louis Katz. We got Mark Norman. We got my friend Rob from Canada and What's your name again? You know who else made it? Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras te esperan.

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We gave away and they all got to pair headphones, which is awesome. So go to TweetDoddo.com right now. What's the code word they use? Kelly. Kelly, for how much off? 40% off. It's 33%. You're the producer of the show.

You're supposed to know this stuff. Super fast. Super fast, right? I mean, if you were the producer of the show you supposed to know the stuff right now with this is a stupid ass right I mean if you're the producer the show what would you like 33% is not a hard number to forget grass is always shine here okay check it out so we will I want you to go thirty-three percent off use the code word Kelly. Sure, it's not dude. Is it dude or Kelly? Believe it's Kelly. Are you kidding?

You got to find out dude, no joke. No, it's Kelly. It's sure. Yeah. All right. Cool. Thank you, Scopo. I think.

So go there, support them. They get Mike, non-Mike, all kinds of amazing headphones. A tweak.io.com. You can also use our Amazon link, and you can donate. If you wanna donate, we have a donate button, not that many people do it, but we are revamping this whole studio,

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You know what dude podcast. They do the movie, ryecast the movie. I'm not supposed to say that. Hey, do you got to go? Why are you going to podcast? Yeah, you know who made it off through social media? Pete Holmes. Yeah.

Well, he had a big podcast. Exactly. Yeah, but he came out with podcasting at the time you had to come up with podcasting on a network. No, that's not. He came out on a net. On a podcast. He came out in 2008.

Yeah, that's when. It's pretty early. That's when podcasting really got big. Podcasts. I got big 2001. No, that's not true. That's first way. First way podcasting.

He just said, look at his face. He's not confident. There he is. He just said, look at his face. He's not confident in it. There you go. Yo, yo, this is to go. So to the two buildings that fell, it's called Two Buildings Podcasts. Never forget. Thank you, sheep.

Thank you, sheep. I know. I laugh out of fucking, because he needs work. What's your name? He needs work. He needs work. I like Two Buildings Podcasts.

That's what I was pretty good at. That's what I'm going to listen to building spot casters. That's what was pretty good. I'm gonna lose him this. So check it. Just because it's coming. It's coming with somebody. Might be me. I might be tightening it back. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I That's not that funny. You fucking wall-o-d. So we had the big J roast over the weekend, I believe, last week, right?

What day was it? Wednesday. Wednesday, amazing night. I couldn't go. I was at the Apple store in Soho doing one of those panels with the cast of Sex, Junk, Junk, Rock, and Roll, Liz Gilles, John Corbett, Dennis Leary, John Ailes, myself. How was the panel?

What was that like? It's really cool. First of all, you pull up in a limo. They send for a limo. They bring me down. So as the limo pulls up, the press is all there. You get SUV like they do nowadays? Yeah, SUV. All squads, no. No, it was a SUV. So you pull up and as you come out, there's a bunch of dudes with your

headshot and you sign them, which was cool. Cool. Because I never really had that. That's awesome. That happened at first. Because of the old headshot or new headshot? The new ones from the show, actually, which is great. So they just print out those. You know, that happened at Comic Con too. Like the first day I was there. But I was like the first kind of celebrity dude. So like they never asked me again. Like two dudes got up. Like, hey, Bobby, they were like, oh, and a fans is out.

And but at this, you get out, sign a bunch of headshots, go in through the back door, up the back, in the back room where the geniuses are. And I'm actually going to post this photo, there's four dudes just in the small, small than the studio. And they're just, they, when you bring your phone in and they bring it in the back, they just handed to this fucking dude at like a desk with a mini screwdriver. Wow, maybe they can figure out Louis' career. So I met all the geniuses and then went through there and I thought like there was going to be like some Apple gift pack or some bag. Yeah, I mean, with some type of Apple.

I would have took an Apple shirt. You know what I mean? Not a real Apple though. Jesus. Not a real apple though Will lives like you should be holding a severed head Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I ain't fucking confused. Oh, man. Literally the dumbest person ever.

Hi, Tom. Yeah, we didn't get anything. We went in the back and the whole cast was there. You know, Bo Derek was there, which was awful. Whoa! Oh, I saw Bo Derek. Does she still look the same? Yeah, you met her. You're so hot.

She's smoking. Does he still smoke? She's smoking. Yeah. She's not only smoking. She's got an air or an elegance around her. She's got a great sense of humor too. We sat behind her because it's John's girl.

They've been together for a long time. But they sat behind us when we were watching the premiere. And she laughed at all the shit you're supposed to laugh at. And she laughed hysterically. So that's great. She's got a grits into him, but I get nervous talking to her. I went back in and she was there. It's both fucking Derek.

And she's super nice, but she's definitely got that fucking fame thing. Uh huh. Where you like, uh, uh, I don't, you know, you're going to fuck up. Whatever you say is going to fuck come out wrong. So I just kind of keep my mouth shut. Cause John Corbett is the funniest fucking dude. He makes me laugh like nobody, because he has no fear. He's fucking hilarious. He's fucking, he's out of his mind funny. Yeah. Really, he's great. So we went back there, then we all go out on the stage at the Soho thing and it was packed up. A lot of Liz Gilley's fans too. They go nuts with her.

She has so many fans and then they just, Liz Gilley's is one of the stars of the show. She's a girl from Nickelodeon now, she's really hot and sings fucking great, but she, it was pretty, you know, they just sit there and ask you questions. There's a moderate, moderate, that you know, ask you a bunch of questions that she came up with. She's from AOL, I believe, or, no, she's from Syria,

she was really cool, and then they opened it up to the floor and they just asked questions. But you never got any free shit. Nothing? I do. You know what I got when we went to Comic Con. Uh-huh. Um, we did TV guide. We did pre, you do press all day. Uh-huh. So you wake up and you go to a room and there's seven, seventeen tables and there's actually a red carpet. And you do the red carpet in a ballroom and this photos you take all the photos

then you go and you do interviews, standing interviews at the end and they'll take me and John Ales rehab in the show will be paired up and John and Elaine will be paired up and then Dennis and Liz will be paired up and we'll just go we'll just switch this little we have a person a handle that goes okay cut they're done come over here you'd we got to go and they keep just switching and then there's tables you go from table and on the table this anywhere from five to eight people with recorders and cameras you just sit down and a junk it is that what a junk it that's like a junk it exactly so you go table to table to table and then you take a

break after that's couple hours take a break and then you go to Like we were to the hard rock and it was kind of cool because Ryan Reynolds was before us and everything Wow, you just see him leaving the room and how's going in and I was just kind of I just wanted to talk to him because I'm fucking big Deadpool fan Yeah, and then and then with the last interview was on a yacht the TV guy has a yacht and they do all their shit on there. And when we did our big interview and when you leave and there's this gift pack, I was walked right by it. I didn't even see it.

And the publicist for our facts was like, Robert, do you want one? I was like, yeah. And it was this fucking awesome ultimate ear speaker, Bluetooth speaker. Oh yeah. Oh, I got that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, boom, right? Yeah, the boom, the big one. Yeah, I got that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's dumb.

Boom, right? Yeah, the boom, the big one. Yeah, I take it everywhere. Fuck it, awesome. Yeah. And it was just in the bag. I was like, that was a pretty good piece of swag. Fuck you.

Yeah, but we didn't get that much for the show. They sent me, of course, sex drugs, rock and roll t-shirts, but they don't make double X. So I told the guy, I'm double X. Maybe he should just taking apples Do you have Could you actually take some of that blanket and make it bigger? Good bye. I can shoot for that

Hang yourself with the hang your chief Norman That wasn't a bomb. That was racist. That was racist, that was a bomb. Coming from the guy, I was a pure German. So, um, yeah, it was awesome. It was fucking great.

Unbelievable. I just can't believe they took you to an Apple store and they couldn't give you one fucking thing. Apple does not give a, they don't have to. Apple does give a... They don't have to. Apple does not, because they don't have to. They don't give a fuck. They got some other...

Samsung will give you, it's called the white glove. That's why I want to go to Samsung. Oh, the white glove, I heard about the glove. The white glove treatment will give you everything. What's the white glove treatment? It's the... I'm not gonna say it. But it's a...

They give you... They'll come, give you a free phone, give you's, they give you, they'll come, give you a free phone, give you a watch, give you all the shit. They give you all the top shit, and then they, you have special service. Whenever you have any problem with it, they hook you up.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. How you get the white glove? You have to be famous. Yeah, white. Yeah. It's a try and get people, it's not one second.

What did you say? I said, be white. Well, you're confident. No, no, no. I like that. That was a good, I said be white. Well, you're a confident racist That was a good I got last I got last in the moment I actually make that into a good and give it to him Yeah So anyways So that's why I couldn't make it. That was the last day of press for the show

Which was awesome. So anyways, please everybody listen, keep watching the fucking show. This Thursday's huge, because you get them at the front and you gotta keep them for a couple weeks. So, you know, DVR watch it, it's a fucking great show. Just record it for the whole season, don't be a dick. I'm kidding, never watch it. No, I'm not watching shit.

But then I missed the big Jay Okerson. Woo! Roast. It was. That was easy. I have it, now you were there. Yes, you are on the pants on the days. Well you there Yeah, I wrote no I wrote for like three people I wrote for three so wasn't that good of a roast I was People you were on the days. I was supposed to be what happened I have to pull out like I couldn't do it Tell them why really tell them why he and right jokes all right. Why I can't do it. Tell him why really? Tell him why he didn't right? All right. Why? I couldn't do it. I had I had another gig. Where? Out of town. What town? Trilly. Where in Philly? You think I know Philly like that? Yeah, you should get a drive there. Show up. What was the name of the club? Oh, they cancel the show.

But it was a great roast. It was a great roast. I had a fuck thing because I had to write, I wrote for Soda. He hired me to write for him and then somebody fired you. Well, he asked me to write and he paid me. How much? I think I had to sell Joe 100 bucks. Yeah, I think you do. I gave you some Joe 100 bucks.

You think it's okay to say who wrote for you? Don't you think everyone should just be, give it, keep it, keep it. It can't get going. I wrote for Harris, Big Jane, Bonnie. All right, there you go. It's all out. It's all's all it's all a community so well look man here's a deal anybody has a no roast okay Jeff Ross is not that funny he has he has fucking he has 20 writers that write for him okay and he

can have those jokes to see they're bought and paid for yes so he can take those jokes wherever he wants redo them them blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but every person on a roast has around 10 to 15 people writing pages and pages of shit for their personality to the certain people. So when you do a roast on this level, okay, same shit applies. We used to back in the day when we did the Patrice roast, nobody did that. We wrote our own shit, you lived and died by your own Shit through that roast was amazing 2003. It's on YouTube. It's unreal. Yeah, I fucking bombed you did an audio video thing Yeah, I did an audio video bomb then Bailey really bomb that is a bomb

That's because Ben Bailey spent I think he literally spent his tire comedy crew up until that day writing Roastokes. Yeah, I came out of the gate, swinging, killed. Robinson thought he was going to improv a roast right after with his personality, like with fans. He was at my house. Like, he was at my house. I know. I know. I know. He's going to be like the seller. I would have to talk to you.

Yeah, the best part of the roast is when he was bombing and we're going stretch. Nah. And then he was bombing so bad. He reached into his pocket and grabbed a wrinkled up napkin with some jokes on it. Like he did try to write. He goes, ah, he wants to ma, and he pulled it out, and he didn't work.

Ashtie goes up to grab him. And she goes, get, he snaps on her. Like, I've mad at her. Like, get the fight. We'll get to beat it. Tell us how to beat it. And he kept going. It was the best thing.

I've ever saw that. And Josh, you got to. That's on there. Yeah. Josh Spears, bomb. He was on it? He was on the roast before. Oh, OK.

He begged to be on it. I guess he had a barrier cast roast. He had stories. And we were like, all right, he went up and fucking ate it. Like I've never seen anybody eat it. That key thing must have hurt his psyche. I mean, that bomb was so bad. It was like, who's get off stage?

He was fucking career. You think so? No. He hurt his career. Yeah, that was one of the greatest things ever. But anyways, back to it. Now, it's just protocol. You can have people write to you. Now it's just protocol.

You can have people write to you. If you don't have the time or whatever, your friends or whatever, there's certain comics that you guys knew, you know, you imagine my great jokes. I'll go for him. He gave me a couple. I'll give him a few.

Well, like what? I didn't use them. Because you couldn't read them. Yeah. He want to start up with, why you? I want to use that. I can't read them. Yeah. He didn't want to start up with, why you? I'm not used. Not a game. But that was, Metzger was unreal.

Vecchio and had said of the night, Jay killed at the end. It was all, it was all good. So did it really well. So did it well. Yeah. But I had to write for Sodor, and then they put me on the day,

so then I re-write jokes. It was rich. Wow. So you had to do it too? Yeah, yeah. So you had to write jokes. You saw all the jokes you would have said. Yeah. The great ones. The great ones. you had to do it too. Yeah, yeah. So you had a right jokes for you. So all the jokes you would have said Yeah, the great ones the great ones you gave to Dan. Yeah, and then you had the ones towards the end of your Hildando

Dan it well Did he who did the worst kumiya and then second worst? Sal I guess Sal was out of the ironic thing volcano practical jokers The guy's been practical joke. What do you mean really he did like a these jokes are bad on purpose because he's not like a comedian He would do like to on purpose bad jokes and then he had someone right like a way over that's it be like God Dan soldiers here. They should call him Dan soda because you see his blood pressure or his sugar Let whatever be a bad joke and then he'd be like Jay's daughter is a cunt so I'd be like he'd go really

bad joke and then he'd be like, Jay's daughter is a con, so I'd be like, he'd go really, like, one way to work. Okay, okay, yeah. That sounds kind of fun. I actually don't mind when people do something a little different on a roast. It broke it up a little. Yeah, I mean, the joke joke joke,

but I like when people come up and kind of experiment with some other tempo. Yeah, yeah, and he had a slide whistle. Yeah, I like slide whistles. That was a lot of fun. Well, Norma Dome kind of did that though and made it like classic, he killed it. I feel like it's anyone else doing that is kind of just doing what he did No norm just did the ironic he did like really bad really corny

Yeah, I don't like that I don't like I think I hate all kind of ironic I know it in a roast is gonna change up, but I generally hate ironic I'm with it. I think it's so funny. I just, I did that, like that in the mic, so it's somebody who stopped listening because of that. Sorry. So Anthony, he did the worst. Yeah, and he still was fun to watch, but I think he actually wrote his stuff.

Because here's the thing with this roast, it was all comedians for the most part. That's what I was like. Is that where roasts are? Well, no, I mean, essentially roasts have celebrities. You know, right, right. So like the curve is, and it's not just a bunch of people who are gonna do great your celebrities on it Yeah, but those of people are writing those jokes archimedians. Yeah, but it still means timing

You know, I mean like it doesn't matter a fucking vineyard whatever from the Jersey Shore has people writing for me Still is not a deliver a joke so so he bombed Anthony I was the weakest I just put it this way if I did that set would I have bombed yes, yes, I was the weakest. I just put it this way. If I did that set, would I have bombed? Yes. Yes. But because it's him, he didn't bombed. Yes.

Because he's more famous than me. You're afraid of his fan. You're afraid of his fan base. I have a famous fan base. Yeah. You're really good. Anthony has like an army. Yeah.

He's like a king. Yeah. I mean, look at they did the Rosa and they like buried him under the ground. Yeah, yeah, they see buried They they marked all of his albums one star and then they got a game all bad reviews on Amazon So I guess they're they're accurate, but they're But they're loyal. So what was one of the worst jokes Anthony did? Oh, I think the one I think the one about the Rosa is like, oh, if you need

it, if you need a knife, yeah, that was the one the Rosa's stab me in the back with. Yeah, he had to go on soda. Also, this guy's taking my place, this fake laffer or something I kept right. Yeah, the one. And the joke particularly didn't work with a knife because he was like, if anybody upstairs is eating and it's like, what do you? Yeah, yeah, we're upstairs. What does that mean? I don't know. Exactly. It was probably written for him being downstairs.

Yeah, the Creek. Yeah, that's where he's going. Yeah. Someone wrote him a joke and he didn't find an assimilated, and his environment. Yeah. That's great. Look, man.

What about Bonnie? Bonnie was there? Bonnie did well. Yeah. Bonnie. Bonnie is the second weakest. Yeah. Bonnie is the second weakest. Uh, she the second weakest. Why is that?

She tried to gimmick where she roasted herself. She's like, I'm gonna roast people for you guys. Get to it and it's like, well, we want you to hit us. Well, and also it was way too late in it to do that concept. Yeah. It should already was like an hour. It was a two hour and 45 minute row. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, that's crazy. But it's a moron. And why is it going? Because I'm not fighting you on that. I think you're very funny. But like, it just kept adding people to end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like one person because Deroza, look, the fact people are very excited about Deroza being there because it was Anthony Deroza in the same room. Why wouldn't he come? He had a legitimate excuse.

He had to do better call Saul. So first of all, let me just say this. I saw Dero Shron, I didn't know it was him for when I first came out. I was like, wow. And then I saw Dero Shron, I was like, oh my God. He can act. He is fucking great. No, it's not like I cared away.

But he, no, no, he, on better call Saul dude, he's unbelievable. Fucking great, very subtle. Because sometimes you see. Is see why you didn't recognize them What's that is that what I just didn't I didn't know he was on the show. It's such a big show and that's your friend You can recognize your own well. They're super and post shoulders on him Yeah, yeah, he actually were Don Johnson suit for Miami vice I was trying to edit on the slide. I was slipping into a coma

Came out of it so so Bonnie did the second second worst yeah, and then I say Harris probably the second worst Harris was on it. Yeah, I was my place. He did Fucking in my I'm like what was it? I'm sure Harrison I don't really know Harris and I wrote for he did three of my I don't know if he did someone else's or he did his own jokes, but it's like he loves so much fucking good shit on the table I was like, what are you thinking with this great again? He was really far in that good things on I mean luck It's my own writing so obviously I think it's fucking Are you both what happens? Yeah, yeah, and you put any use like to always have that what you're mad because you use this shit Yeah, of course well

Matt, are you using shit? No, of course. Yeah, of course. Well, it's funny because, I mean, firstly, this roasts, if you're on the day, it's mind-bending how nervous you get. I was terrified. I'm not gonna lie to you. You can't not be terrified because you,

it's, you go, it's your peers. It's your peers and it's being recorded. It's forever, it's forever, it's mind bending how fucking nervous you get. Yeah, yeah. You know, that's why when I did Betrice, I was like, you know what, let me try this other thing, which I thought was a different time though,

when you was not, you know, you're a young. I had a rent of square TV from Rentocenter. Wow. Like that's how, like I had to, Yeah, you'll do anything not to write. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was known for my extravagant website Oh, I remember that joke. And he said, what was the joke? He said, Bobby will never amount to his Act. His Act.

He'll never amount to his way or something like that. No, it's in Brof Kelly has the only comic that is websites are more famous than him. Yeah. Did, did, did, did Vecchio go on late too? Second. Yeah. What?

That's really, that's really, that's really, of course. Vecchio did like an hour. He did a long one Yeah, he was a ton if you get cuz you go on second no one's burned all your material Exactly. Oh, that's such a nice. How's Mezker killer? killer when I saw because I'm like a huge Mezker fan He's like one of my favorites and when I saw him I was like I just look at my notes. I'm like I'm fucked

I just assume I'm gonna bomb it But when I saw when I saw him at a and I'm a big fan too, but when I saw him at the iron chic one He's like more conversational. So it's like not like not all this jamming like Vecchio And this was slamming really joke joke. Oh, even in this though We had a bit of personality. I felt like Vecchio was just a joke machine Yeah, I had a little bit more of like like It talks to be talks to the J more. Yeah, instead of Vecchio just comes out with a robot in bodies defense too's defense too, by the way, of her set, really, I, because I saw her whole script.

So like her, she must have been crossed and stuff off by the time I had a lot of her jokes were gone by the time she. Yeah, that sucks going up last on a rose. Yeah, blows. It's the worst. I love when the rose, they have a couple minutes. You get a couple minutes. You don't get to stand up there for 20 minutes. Well, because you're gonna blow through everybody's material. they have a couple minutes. You get a couple minutes. You don't get to stand up there for 20 minutes because you're gonna blow through everybody's material. Have a couple minutes that way you have to cut the fat, choose the best ones.

Yeah, totally. You get a couple for each person maybe and then hit Jay and get the fuck out. That was what you're supposed to do with everybody. You got to fucking, you got to, I mean, you got to tell. Right. Next time, man. Yeah. They got light.

But you gotta come with these original angles. Like, I had one on Shafir that was proud of, because it was a new twist. Oh, what? I said, Ari Shafir, you remind me of an organic protein powder, because you're hard to stomach, and we only know about you because of Rogan. That's a great joke.

That's a great joke. I mean, because everyone's good to Rogan jokes, but you got into it a very great way. Well, a weird way, yeah. Yeah, that's a great joke. I mean, because everyone's good to do Rogan jokes, but you got into it a very great way. A little weird way, yeah. That's a great joke. They thank you. Holy shit. Also, I said his face looks like Nazi

propaganda. That's his own joke. Shit. That's not good. I do that last time I found. I know. He did that. I've heard that.

I've heard that. I'm not saying that it's right. It just looks a throw away. I left you hard at that joke What do we get in the chat room real quick miles at what says his favorite joke at the roast was a joke about Harris Where someone said all of Harris's money is going back to Walmart. That was the best Joe was Jay's joke. Yeah, that's good That was a love ground pool season Who wrote that joke?

Big J, I don't know who wrote it, but he said it. I helped Jay with some stuff. That was for no-yajogad. Was that your joke? No, but the tag wasn't there in the first place. But yeah, that's great. But I look at Jay's stuff was fucking fantastic. Look, we all help each other. It's not a thing.

That's the way we do it. You know, I mean, back when I did it, we just wrote our own shed. Well, we're at the TV. It's fine. I don't get me. I don't get me with some jokes. I'll get the TV thing.

What do you mean by that? You went to TV because back then, back in 1999 or 2000, what was that? 2000, 2000, 2000. Was it after September 11th? Yeah, yeah. 12 years ago. Was it 1999 or 2000? What was that? 2003. Was it after September 11th? Yeah, yeah. 12 years ago.

You couldn't get into Plasma TV yet. Plasma was like, you own a plasma. It was like $40 billion. So why are you wearing a TV? I'm going to play a video. Where the fuck am I going to play the video? What video? God, I can't believe it.

Hey, can we get you back in Australia? Wait, is there a rule? How old are maps? You have to play with it. What? God I can't you hey can we get you back in Australia? Is there a whole amount of suits to play with it? What I Made a video of Patry like people who couldn't be on the rose what they thought of a trees Right, so I just went up to a bunch of people and they were like fucking pieces. Oh, so you sold Also, you sold it on the TV. I showed it on the TV. And then there was the video camera that I used.

I found out that Steve Burn left his SNL audition tape on it, doing all his characters. So I let that roll the... Oh, that's great. How could you not? I mean, you had to try. I got a shit for that. I bet.

I mean, from, you know. Steve Burn. No, Steve Bern. Uh, I mean, Steve was born, but it was him doing, uh, oh God, he did MTV, he got a high, and he sang Dunkershirt, he did a Julio Glacias Jr.

And reggae. I can be a hero, being in a mole. Oh, wow. Who gave you six? Who gave you six? I think Burr was like, shut that off, dude. Like, please stop.

You know what I mean? But it was pretty fucked up. I don't know, I think it's pretty funny. I think it's pretty funny. Look, I think it's funny now. And if you found a tape of me auditioning for us and now which there was one, which there is one, me doing two originals and characters what characters you'll never know

I'll tell you one of my originals you ready yeah Are you ready? This is fucking terrible. I feel sick right now. I'm not making I I'm not even kidding. I said, I, I, I, I, Curstian Ali. No, no. No. No. No.

No. No. No. This is my, one of my originals. This is one of my two originals that I did. Her name was, uh, Ha-ha. Her name was,

How's life? How's life? It's terrible. I'm laughing, not ended being funny at it being how awful this is. Oh, boy. Fucking, and I just don't know how I would send this in to anybody. I mean, why I would, so her name was Helga Sockwater. Uh-huh.

And she talked like this. Her name's Helga Sokwater from Chelsea, Massachusetts. I like the mullet fish over the Kaffelta. They give you the bomb bat in the backhand. Boy, that's not even mad TV worthy. Yeah, man, you know, get it to your mock, my name. You might like the Kaffelta, you might like the confelter, but I like the mullets, a good fish.

It's a dirty nasty fish. It's a nasty fish. You got to catch it with a bucket in the Hudson. Do you understand why you didn't get a call back? It is punctuosious. But I go on with her for probably a minute and a half on video, which is a lifetime. You wear wig?

No, you wear wig? I believe I did. I believe I and a half on video, which is a lifetime. You wear wig? No, boy. You wear wig? I believe I did. I believe I had a wig on it. This tape exists. Wow. I shall not say what state it is in. Oh, where it is, because if this gets found,

I'm finished. I think Leroy would literally kick me off the show. Leroy go, yeah, get that clock, fuck him. He is an asshole. He's the song. You didn't travel much back then, so you're the boss and on the york. Not a that's a no.

Woo. Ooh. Somebody has it. Somebody. It was terrible. I'll just suck water from Chelsea Massa Chositz. Yeah. You must really like that character.

Oh, I love. I used to do it all the time. And each time I could get a chance. I would do it. Three times. I would do it all the time and each time I could get a chance. I would do it. I would do it all the time. I'd go on the show and I'd say, listen, get me, you have any mullet fish.

It's the cousin of the Kaffelta. That's not even a kind of fish. Yeah. Or his brain will. What's worse even? It's terrible. It's terrible. It's super stupid.

If I did the roast, that's what I would've done. Hello, my name's Helga it's terrible. It's terrible. If I did the roast that's what I would have done Hello, my my name's Augusto Kwan. Who's Jay's a pizza? He's a pizza Who do you imitate what people but who do you imitate? That's as far as I'm going. I will not tell you any further, but I did I'll tell you one all right I did Christopher walk it. Oh, original I'll tell you one. All right. I did Christopher Walken.

Oh, original. Wow. That's the crazy thing. You know, as and now, it's, I don't know. The, you know, Lauren, he's a good guy. I, that's good. Wow, I don't know Mark, you know. Sometimes, you know, the blacks,

silly. Just, what happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? Anyway, where we got the chat? Black Gospel says, the roast was dope, but there were two over the top girls screaming,

ow, and woohoo, every fucking five seconds. I fucking hate that. Yeah, I remember them too. It was like Bonnie's cheering sections on the set. Yeah, it was like, girl power bullshit. Yeah, it was like a hate girl power bullshit Yeah, you know what you don't look it don't hoot and holly a laugh and that's it. Yeah, you know go woo over people shit Right just you laugh you don't fucking cheer and also bunnies the last fucking girl in the entire world I would even want that

She's one of the funniest people walking yeah, I don't need a fucking cheerlead a section She's one of the funniest people walking. Yeah, I wasn't need a fucking cheerleader section. Woo! Right. I hate that one at my show. If you ever show, and the lady in the whoever's going, woo! At right at the joke, and it fucks up your timing,

because she doesn't know that you kind of go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then right into that. Woo! Exactly. Over the second part of the, uh, fucking. Yeah. I fucking hate it. And you know what it is? It's look at me.

Yes. That's all it is. It's a fucking look at us. Acknowledge us. Right. God do I hate that shit. I heard this kind of recent too that it hasn't, it didn't, people didn't woo like maybe you.

No, it's, it's, it's a look at me. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, but I'm saying to people who like like, yeah, they've, they've been doing it. They've been doing it. We're gonna Texas. They will Yeah, woohoo. Good job. Yeah, fun. Yeah. Yeah, fuck annoying. It's like a fucking rodeo. I could have did that. That was better than your fucking hell. Good.

Like a sock fish. I like I like scopos jokes are really funny, but you have to make sure Right You have to triple check that's how unfunny scobo is Yeah, you have to go through like I guess be vetted You need a four-minute What else you get Punisher theorizes will didn't go to the roast because he didn't want to get roasted I love joke so me you do he does want you put your phone down

I'm I don't care what you're doing. I I Bobby when you see what happens you see what happens What is my kids sick? going as my kids sick. What is that mean? What? What are you not talking now? Are you pointing fingers? What were you doing? Bobby, I just a pause.

He's got to deliver for insomnia. Where who said that? He didn't do anything. What do you think? Did you got the hanky shape? That's actually his initials embroidered on that one. Give it to me. What?

That was a good one. No one left. All right, this is a tough show. Give it to me. I guess so. Fucking wills. Stuck his ashy finger at my way. All right, here we go.

Anyways, so now did Kumi and Noe bombed? He didn't give a shit shit he was half in the bag I was he was having fun. Yeah, he had a good time. He booze and tacos on stage. Yeah Yeah, so we know about Kumia that guy has a good fucking time. Yeah, he's a fun dude He really is have you ever been to his house? I have I was just there I remember I was making the drink and I was like I feel awkward like drinking this guy Like it was like a little bit left to something I don't really want to touch that and And I went to go look for ice.

And I was like, oh, all these cupboards are full of bottles of these bottles. Like, it's just a house full of bows. It's crazy. And it's 11 year old girlfriend. Yeah. She's not 11. She looks it.

Very true. Yeah. Well, yeah, but she's not 11. She's not 26. Is it worth 26? 26. 26. She's not 26.

She's not 26. She's not 26. She's not 26. Oh, that's good grow is it worse than I grow my girl and her I've been like texting each other like That's good. Yeah, is it Vinnie's girl. Yeah, yeah, Vinnie's daughter. Oh, God. What the fuck are we saying? Well, oh, that's the common knowledge. No, I don't know is that I'm pretty sure yeah Yeah, I don't think that's a secret he's dating Vinnie brand's daughter. Wow Jesus Christ. I think that was a secret. I didn't say the last name. Yeah, I didn't say the name at all I think that was a secret. I didn't say the last name. Yeah, I didn't say the name at all He's dating a brand of daughter named Vinnie too late. What oh boy. You're going right back to Kinnock Somebody's not opening at this stress factory after and before Vinnie

Inside joke Inside joke Yeah, I wish I could have been there, man. I mean he just go into it. It would have been a fast. It was an event Metzger's joke on soda. He's like soda. You look like you fell asleep when you were seven and woke up a giant boy You got to find a Zoltar machine to get back to your real life. He really does look like somebody had beans and found him real life. He really does look like somebody had beans and found him. He's getting that right. The fucking giant flat face. He's getting worse too because when he was younger he had at least he was really thin. But now he's getting that I'm kind of I have money to buy food body. The dad body. He's got that for years. Remember when we did that shot that video for Marisa? He took out a shirt of so disappointed. I thought it was like a tough fucking dude. Oh, he could be an adonus Yeah, he tried yeah, he's close his body's a hot mess

Fucking I love that Louie's fucking with his body. You look like you're in a bronch stale He looked at you when he said that That doesn't make sense. You're an idiot. You're just like you played dominoes for a living. I wish. How can I get into that? You got to do the ancient.

You have to do the ancient. Don't depend on anybody. You want to be domino king? So, so, uh, boss was there. He, so boss, boss go up. He introduced it, but we got the shit on him. He was sitting on the day. So it was fun having him there. That's my it's good. I had to take off. So Vos is backstage and he's like, I go sit on the day. I said I was like, whatever. Yes, do it. You do a good impression.

Can you just say thanks? No, that's it. That's it. That's it. I had prepared and a J's wife to sit. Why what? J's wife. Which current wife? The current wife the wife with the daughter not divorced. He's not divorced now separated. Oh separated Yeah, so the car we all know. Yeah, I didn't know her. She went up and trashed them. Yeah, it was a great insane It was great. It was great. I could I could go so that somebody wrote she couldn't have she had a marten They were good. Yeah, they were good. But she delivered them with hatred. That's right. When we did the cow head roast, his wife came up and fucking smashed them too.

Oh, nice. She was hilarious. Yeah. Really funny. And his co-host was funny too. Could you got that real inside, you know, you're sick of this person. You let it all out. Yeah, it was good.

But when we did our roast, it was very quick. Everybody did quick spots. It was nice. The stangle brothers were there. Norton was there. Florentine was there. Yeah, the, yeah, love my calta. I love you.

Obviously, Florentine's video. He does for YouTube. He doesn't look in the camera. He looks at himself on the screen. So it looks like he's blind This is like this yeah, yeah, you know, I forget about the baseball game baseball is like the cameras over here He was banging a Robin Quivers, right? Yeah, he banged Robin a long time Who's Robin Florence Howard Sterns chick? Oh good out He was banging a Robin Quivers, right? Yeah. He banged Robin a long time ago. Who floated?

Howard Stern's chick. Oh, get out. Floating. Yeah, probably. Yeah, publicly. What? What's the fucking public? I don't think about that.

In the church. But they liked each other. They were like a vacation together. And they were an item. I mean, he and I, you know, that's why I love, you know, I love floating. Yeah. You know, he'll fucking, you know, if he likes you,

fuck it, he'll bang you. Yeah. Yeah, you know, real fucking, you know, if he likes you, fucking, he'll bang you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. But yeah, he, they just did the whole thing, the history of Stern this last weekend, the Stern was on vacation. The Stern's got real, his show's gotten fucking great. Yeah. He, because if you listen this last weekend,

when famous people used to command, he was so hyped up and energetic, and he would just be going a mile a minute. And they didn't know how to keep up. He just didn't know how to keep up with him, because he was just like, so what are you doing? You jerk off in the shower?

And he would just say these funny things and these outrageous things. And if you couldn't keep up, you got fucking buried by so, but now he's developed this, he's a lot slower, but he's still funny, but he's asking really good questions and getting these famous people to open the fuck up.

That's why I was never really much of a stern guy because I felt it was just too much stern. Like it was just all about him forever. That's why I was way more important. I mean, you kind of have to be that way, I guess, to get above everybody else. But now that he's there, it's fucking great. Have you ever seen the, when he took over the Magic Johnson show?

No, they talked about that this weekend though. I want to see that. That's the most awkward word. I saw that live. I remember that live actually. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you know the story about that.

He was like, he's like, shit on magic all the was like, he like shit on magic all the time. He should out him all the time and they tried to get him on the the producer was a stern fan. Oh, and they pitched. Let's get started. He says the only way I'll go on is if this this and this and this happens. They didn't magic had to call on his show. I think that was the one. Magic had to call up and ask him to be on the show. Oh, wow. And, but yeah, he had a talk show. Magic Johnson, you remember him? Yeah, he, oh yeah, his TV show. Dude, he had a talk show, he had a movie theater,

he coached, he had a snake in the lakers, and they said, he had a lot of AIDS clinics. Oh, Starbucks. I'm sorry, what did you say? He has a lot of AIDS clinics. I mean, it was fine if it wasn't for, no, that was not fine. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I mean it was fine if it wasn't for not that was not fun

He has a line of aides clinics. Yeah, aides isn't even around You know it's actually a line of aides I'm not making that up. Yeah, both say it as a fact not a joke you fucking bald weird tooth Toronto fags It's not one weird two. Oh my teeth are weird. Actually, the one on the roast. Yeah, right. I would have needed to be on the day us. That's true. Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm just laughing. That was a legitimate people would shake his hand on that show. There was probably people with his hands

That's when AIDS was AIDS. Yeah, Philadelphia back when AIDS was scary. I touched magic once you did. Yeah That's how you got it. Yeah, I got I was washing my hands. I wish he got it I went to the Nets Lakers game four and they got swept in the finals and they had like a party after and We everyone went down to like try to get closer to the floor and he'd walk in pass and I touched them Oh He was giving like high five to people and he was like the I guess his hand oh Oh, it's thigh. Yeah, I know.

It's a good thigh. Try to grab his head. This is the fourth, he announced the eighth or the eighth. This is way after. Wow. Way after, yeah. I mean, it wasn't scary for the guys to play with him. Yeah.

You don't know what the AIDS, how it spread really. And I mean, basketball, if there's a sweaty sport, it's basketball. Right. And you're bumping, grindingin' motion, and get cuts. I mean, it must have been, you cover magic. Fuck. Yeah.

Are you shittin' me? Come on. Come on. I just got married. Yeah. Fuck, I just got jet skis. Right. Are you fucking, you said?

Well, not to bother stern things so awkward is because the whole time on stern is like, yeah, but you got AIDS the fun way. And he has the like, you say you got the fun way. I remember he asked you do you have sex with your wife? Is you condoms? He's like yes, we use condoms He's like do you eat her out? Do you go down on her? Wow? Wait, this is a wait all right, so what happened when he took over the show you? Where have you been

Louis Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou and give a fuck, he had a million things going on. You know what I mean? So he was just like, yeah, so they went in and they were like, he pitched it and he was thought to hire up, so they were like, fuck you, no way. And he was like, can I just ask magic? And they said, God, he did, and he was like, yeah, he just was like, yeah, cool, I don't care. And he was like, holy shit. So they did this thing where

Stern came on the magic, John Gensho, and it was supposed to give him ratings. It was supposed to be such a spectacle, either good or bad that it would have drew attention to the show. And it did, but it couldn't save that fucking nightmare. And the whole crowd were Stern fans, so everyone's just chaining for how

or he took over the whole crowd. It's fucking awkward, like it's bad. Was there another girl in the show too, that came on? Maybe, I don't remember. Yeah, we're gonna get, we're gonna get that video, man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was, he talked about it this weekend, and they actually had a bunch of the producers on the show,

but I mean, Stern back then, he, I mean, he did form an army. Oh, yeah. He formed a fucking army, and he, if you listen now, he'll'll he's still at his level will have just regular callers call up And he'll talk to him. Yeah, like he'll have a guy go coward Would you the ant man and button look like like that man. It's like he's talking to this guy Yeah, that he doesn't need to talk to anymore right he could just do a show

Fucking only callers when they have a certain segment of people he'll just go yeah go to the phone and he'll what's up Gary whatever and he'll talk to some dude and he'll it's like weird it's like he's still a part of the fan bases part of the show oh totally it's it's it's you know what I mean did you hear the thing with him and Ari though I know that was a man I can believe that I was like Ari has balls and Ari kind of I already said on the show last week he goes I figured it out. All you have to do when he called all the 10 people garbage people.

He said all's after he was make 40 grand a year. And that's all I need. So he goes that's what I need to survive. As long as I make that and I figured out I can make that yeah working the little least possible. So I'm fine. So that's all his goal is to make 40,000. Yeah, so he can say Whatever he wants and being as honest as he possibly I love that wants to be because he does his goal is 40,000 That is already does it right man

Well like but I just mean like he enjoys this like he his life he is enjoying his life he is who he is but he also is apologetic when he's wrong he's not just the fuck you see the one arm thing yeah that was there was no apology there yeah but he admitted maybe I shouldn't that he did what happened with the wrong he actually I'll tell you what happened he actually said that I didn't think he did What happened with the wrong he actually said I'll tell you what happened He actually said that I didn't think it was you know I film this two years ago a different spot. I didn't know they weren't gonna edit that out Right he said I would I would edit it out if I knew I mean He didn't even address it on the roast like he told big J one of his jokes

He's like a lay off their handicapped stuff. You know, he's like you kind of address I was like, I fucked up, you know? Oh really? He didn't go to the house the one-off thing. Oh yeah, all right. So he made fun of a girl. He made fun of, in his act, a fact check with one arm

that smelled and was annoying. And she existed. And she actually said her name. That's my name, She's a fuck up. He could have just done the joke. There's so many fat chicks with one arm who are annoying with the top jokes. There's a few of them.

This is one of Iceland and I think this is one of Turkey. And this is one of them. Louis was opening for her. But he mentioned it by name. But he did it on his own hour, especially that he produced, that people on his website, cut to two years later, Comedy Central is looking for content. There are Ari's fans now. They're looking for, you know, and they take it,

especially by it. And they don't edit out the chick's name. Meanwhile, the edit out, fucking chick. Right, right. But they won't edit out the chick's name. Meanwhile, the edit out fucking shit, right, right, but they won't out the chick's name. She made a video basically, you know, put on, you know, I support gay rights and, you know, you know, sister was raped with nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the

sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which had nothing to do with the sister was raped, which I'd not look me I get which look it's her to feelings and she was trying to put it out They're like hey you fucking killed me, and I think she was trying to kill him too Which you know, I don't I don't believe in that. I just call Ari up and go and why would you do that? Yeah, no or next time I confront them, but she put up a video that got a lot of fucking views She was a lot Ellen

a fucking views. She was a Ellen. She went on Ellen? Yeah, she got on Ellen. I mean, it's the PC world. It's the pity party. Everybody loves a shit. Fat chick. That's a gold mine. I just thought, am I going to get me in front of all the time? I mean, a fat dude. Well, you're dude. There's a new term they use now for that. It's called body terrorism now. I just read an article. No way. No way. Body terror. I agree with it. That's what I can't say. I don't think that you're. But if you know what Mike somebody with a 32 inch waist might not get it. Nah. That's a fact kid. But thin privilege. Here's my thing with the body privilege of the body

terrorism. When girls are fat and unattractive and they're going out for milk and their pajamas at four in the morning and you catch them they're like, hey I more than that I'm a woman I have talents and I'm beautiful but then when they're on the red carpet they look great they're like yeah look at my body I don't get it it's you can't have it both way it seems like a long haul of all of you so I'm just saying what if it was who cares you think there's anything there?

how would he know? oh man that was a six combo there. Well, it's like with Kaylen Jenner. It's like it's not so, it's like, you know, it doesn't matter if a woman's beautiful, that's why not what should be focusing on whatever. And then we have the situation with Kaylen Jenner and everything's just, oh, she's so beautiful. Exactly. Exactly. It's like, well, we don't mention we're beautiful until we're not supposed to be beautiful, then make sure we mention how beautiful we are all the time. Don't judge about my looks, except when I look good.

Yeah, exactly, yeah. I see. Yeah, I see where I look so important, but then they spend six hours on their hair, they're makeup, it's like, I thought they weren't important. And then every girl on Facebook, when they post a picture, post a picture, you're rubbing off of me.

Ah, it's like, every girl, every girl, it's your gorgeous, you're hot, you're amazing, you're sexy, hotty, hotty. It's like, well, are looks important, are they not important? And if a guy posted, you're gourd every girl at your gourd. You're hot. You're amazing. You're sexy. Hotty hotty It's like well, I look important. Are they not important? I have a guy posted your sexy underneath. They would you know and then five girls will post a picture of What's the fat guy in Jersey? They put the politician Chris Christie? They post that I thought he was gonna talk about me I'm gonna do this weekend Yeah, Chris Christie's in an ill-fitting baseball uniform.

Look at this fat idiot. Oh wait, I thought, what about fat shaming? What about body terrorism? Yeah, so sexist, so sexist. And also, anorexia is completely like okay to just openly mock. It's the same health problem. Right, right, right. It's the same, people who are too skinny to say have the same problems as people who are

too fat. We're both worried about their health. Bobby, what we're trying to say is, this is social commentary in Northern Mehu. Yeah. I, I, uh, look, being, having people make fun of you because you're fat, you know, I don't know, this, it does, it does suck sometimes the way they say it. I, I just don't like when they say I'm going to die or something. I don't like when they compare me to Patrice or they have to bring his name, you know, that, I mean, just leave that shit alone.

Right. My friend, he had diabetes, I don't, he had a stroke, he had high blood pressure, I don't, I, I, I, I'm definitely, I get it, I get to lose weight, apps of fucking lootly, or I will, you know what I mean, maybe, but I just don't like when they bring it, just leave him the fuck out of me. Right.

Yeah, that's a sick thing when they do, do you like, you're gonna be like Patrice or they say even the fuck out of me. Yeah, that's a sick thing when they do, like you're gonna be like Patrice or they say even meaner shit than that. And it's like, I just don't get how you can type that. Yeah, I don't understand that. But there is like something where it, I mean they are coming at you as stupid as that is to do, like hey, you're dead friend, you're gonna be like him.

But there is like a concern, people love you, Bobby. Yeah, we don't bring him up. You don't need to bring him up. I agree with that. There's we don't bring him up. You don't need to bring him up. I agree with that. There's no need to bring him up. And it's a very dicky thing to do. Sure, there's not, it doesn't matter the intent, you're being a fucking moron.

So I can understand that there's certain things that people get mad at. And I mean, look, if somebody mentioned me in a special and called me a fat, you know, and I mean, look, if somebody mentioned me in a special and called me a fat, you know, a fat small Small-dicked fucking it smelly annoying idiot. I might be like wow that fucking stinks So I should cut that for my hour. Huh? You know, no one's giving me a special. Yeah, no one's gonna see you leave it right in there. Actually call my mama cunt too You leave it right in there. I actually call my mama cunt too.

Call my kid a fag. I don't care. No one's gonna see that shit. Yeah, but everything's taken out of corn. Look, man, shit hurts. I'm not gonna, you cannot say that I don't read it or it doesn't bother me. All right, good for you. Then you're a superhero.

It hurts. Some of the shit hurts. But, you know, it gets, you grow a thicker and thicker skin as this social media goes on. And, you know, I think Ari knew he fucked up. I don't think, I think at the time where he was, fuck it. Fat bitch won't arm blah blah, whatever. But I think later when he won on comedy central you know yeah I mean he's not gonna go on Alan you know it's not going I mean if Alan

is the motherfucker he she got on he didn't yeah so wait she had to have heard that bit though before there's no way she never heard it she was using him too I mean like he's has to work that bit out so also by the comedy store together she has to work that bit out. So there are the comedy store together. Yeah, she's fucking. He has to see. He never does actually make fun of her own having one arm. He literally says in the bit, he goes, she has one arm, which has nothing like, he actually points out that has nothing to do with the bit at all. It's not in fun of him.

It was a detail about somebody. That's like saying, you know, he has a hair lip, but that has nothing to do with it. You're still making fun of the hair. Sure, you are. So it's still, you know, a has a hair lip, but that has nothing to do with it. You're still making fun of the hair. Sure, you're our hair. So it's still a little fucking weird. But the thing is that he doesn't give a fuck. That's one thing I love about our hair.

He will say, he's decided, you know, this is what I'm going to do. You know, and if that's what you do, great. But that does, you know, it comes with consequences, man. It does. And if you really don't care, why don't you talk about it? I used to do a bit of, there's this girl I went to high school where it has this disease called menorazia, where you just have your period forever,

which has never stopped. But yeah, I know, it's just called menorazia. Is that called cunt disease? That's called menorazia. But I mean, it's time you had to be so great on that. You know what I mean? Like if you were to just say, disease but uh... so you know it is the same one of the

good uh... it's wrong with the say about but uh... yeah so i used to think it was like early on when i did this bit i would say her name in it because the name got a laugh and it was like a point comedy where i think well i have I got point comedy where anything out well Bring it back to the US

Oh man, I'm gonna see this bandana, but I used to I used to use her name and all the time I dated her twin sister by the way dead tooth You know what Bobby that hurts and It's too shaming. I'm just screaming. Dental terrorism. Dental terrorism. Dental terrorism. It's the only thing I have over here. That's what we have. I may be fat and mushy, but I have great teeth.

Yeah. This is the best I've ever done with my jeans, by the way. I used to be a fuck. I know you did. You used to be in front of me. I used to be 280 pounds. 280? Yeah.

Pitches? Yeah. Hold on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That hurts. How does skin feel? It's a cocoa butter smooth. It's so weird, right? Yeah. It looks like a duck's back. So, I used to use a name in this bin. I used to allow me to keep interrupting with tooth jokes, but that's a bit of a funny during this. Come on, Snaggle Plus, let's go!

Hurry up, CNN. Snaggle Plus. But anyways, oh! Snaggle. Name calling. Hey, somebody's directing somebody in a mean way. How are you? I'm CNN But anyways Oh Hey somebody's directing somebody in a mean way come on fucking chopper. I did Let's go her sister message me and was like you open up a can for me I don't think you need it I don't think you need it. That's good, stupid.

I'm sorry, I'm good. So yeah, anyway, this is stupid now. But her sister message to me was like, Hey, I heard you have a joke about my sister. And she was like, oh yeah, that's mean. And I came to the point where there's joke now. I don't need to say her sister's name. The joke's good enough without it.

But it was just that point where I was like, it was early and any laugh you got, you need to try it. Sure, what's the name? Yeah, I'm not going to say it. No, I'm not going to say her, but I also feel you Louis for you And also, but here's the thing I always my justification for was that if I use a fake People are like one of the one that is use a fake name, but I was like well if I use a fake name But just someone else's name doesn't make any better now a person who pussy isn't pleading forever

Just how you get a name like you know snatch Mick Farley that seems more Mark Normandy than bloody Mary I don't think you know those two liked it I feel like you just both thought the water fall red wow hang on a second wonderful red absolutely that we're ending the show on your bottom. You've been in the gun for a long time. Here you go, waterfall red.

That sounds like a fucking grape drink. Wow. What the fuck, dude? All you have to do is keep your mouth shut. That's fucking 10 more seconds. I'm proud of that line. Just because it's racial and you guys have all that guilt. Don't put it on me.

Let's go to the chat room real quick. Andrew Jackson says, if Patrice's name is not brought up with love, then shut you mouth, you cunts. I agree with that. At this point, let it fucking go. His A says, you bald weird tooth Toronto bag. Jesus Bobby. Kind of an old reference I'm not a lot of recent stuff you know this is what is it none of these is him no this is his he reads it out of the regular

chat and picks out what he thinks is funny or relevant or just yeah it's sometimes he fucks up that's why it's called the deep blue chat. Uh-huh But he read I like the way he does this read the next one Andrew Jackson says wills laughter scares me. See I like the way he introduces this Go ahead Miles I would follow up with sounds like the bathtub lady in the shining. I like a lot of these names are reoccurring now There's four guys like five Harry a lot of these names are recurring now that's what i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i That was always better. Go ahead. What else you got Bobby chat? Tutor Paul says is Deepu immune to the bomb danna when reading these? You know what? No. Good point. You know what? If they bomb, it's on you from now on. Yeah, you pick it.

Aaron Rush says, can we ban the Deepu chat? They're really turning on me. All right, well listen, we're going to wrap this up. You guys in the chat room. Thanks for hanging out there making that shit active. Yeah, they were great today. You guys are awesome in them, man. I really appreciate it.

Spread the word, watch sex drugs and rock and roll every Thursday. If you listen to this podcast live, if you listen to it from iTunes or Ryakast, or if you watch it on our amazing YouTube channel, you need to watch Thursday nights, FX, TVO, watch it live, record whatever you have to do, sex drugs and rock and roll, 10 o'clock Thursday nights, FX for the next nine weeks.

Just fucking record the series, go do it, write the fuck now, right when you get home. Tell them about the chat, I mean the actual channel. Yeah, we made a new trailer that explains how to watch live shows. What you do is you go to the latest episode we put out Sunday nights and there'll be a link there with a date and time. And that's so you know when our live shows are and where they are. So make sure you go to the YouTube channel and check that out. If you listen to this audio on your iPhone, just when you get home and get a chance, or even on your app, you two app, go there

and go to the, you know what, do channel and watch the video and it tells you everything. It's a pretty amazing thing. And the subscriptions, make sure you subscribe and review. What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm making your hand.

You can't make, because my hand is actually a regular sized hand. Your hand, your hand. You can't make, because my hand is actually a regular sized hand. Your hand, your hand, what? Your hand looks like it came out of a crypt. Your hand should need work back, huh? You need work back, huh? You need work back, huh? You need work back, huh?

You need work back, huh? You need work back, huh? You need work back, huh? You need work back, huh? You need work back, huh? You need work back, huh? You need work back, huh? You need work back, huh? You need work back, huh? You need work back, I hope that I hope you, whatever you got going on right now, I hope that you just keep going.

I think this is a freeing time for you. Sometimes when you just take all the shit off the table and you got a clean slate, it's just easier to get along because your expectations are no other people. They're on yourself. So and I'm sure you'll wind up with managers and agents again and be bitching again. And, you know, I mean, I just wanna let you know that my managers probably the best

than that's ever happened in my life. Wow. So, some day you'll have that maybe. Maybe not. I'm gonna go back. No, the child? Yes, all right. No, no, but I'm telling you man,

you're doing what you think is right in your instincts. You're using your creative instincts to be happy. I always say this, if you want to be successful in this business as a comic, go be happy. Yes. Try to be happy first. If you can be happy first, everything else kind of opens up. How do you be happy if you chop, pay bills? You got to get a manager in an agent that works

hard to you. Good luck. In what all fails, you can sell diamonds. Yeah. So when in Chazza, you always have B and H to fall back on too. What? That's an R G and H photo I get you, I get you, I get you, I get you, I get you, I get you, I get you, I get you a chief. I laughed how bad it was knowing that this dummy's getting the bandana for the first time. Now that all deserved, everything in the chat is going to suck now just to keep the bandana over on this fucking dish. What are you again?

All right. All right, so what do you got coming up? Nothing. Wow. Will. No. I'll'll be this is a right now. This is Monday. All right, so and it's live right now. It's coming out Monday, but we're live right now. I'll be with the people that are listening live.

I'll be with Al Madrigal on Saturday in Baltimore at the Ramshead theater. And then after that, I'm in town. Check out my dates for shows in town. What's your website? LouisCatsCombiny.com, L-O-U-I-S-K-A-T-Z. Oh, and I've started my own podcast. It's called LouisCats Podcast. And you should listen to that too. Did your agent pick that name? Louis, I'm a big fan. Thanks, man. Yeah, and I think you're hilarious, you're funny, and you're're very you're one of the most interesting cats

I know oh thanks. You just not today and this is two hours I don't know it's a berry cat. I thought you're great today. What's wrong with you? Oh, thanks It was the first half half hour 45 minutes was on you. Yeah, that's why it's five days Jesus Christ. Well, well, what do you got? Good? Tonight, been as divine. He's fucking chocolatey skin. Tonight, God, you look good. Tonight, I'm at, no.

Looks good. You just came out of the diamond mines. LAUGHTER Back to back, damage, folks. He actually looks like he chopped off the kid's arm who had the diamond. LAUGHTER Oh, right.

LAUGHTER Tonight, I'm at S South gun Fuego. Oh God. Up in the Bronx. When people are fresh. So everybody in my, my, my podcast, Jack don't go. Whatever you do. Also, I'll be, I'll be, oh, my film festival coming up next month.

We see short films. This is our 10th anniversary. I've been doing it for 10 years. NBC's probably been sponsored since day one since I launched this festival. I hope this film has subtitles. It's a film festival I produce. I have. Okay. A bunch of people submit their films. I know you're producing. Like we select them and put on the show. So NBC gives you the money for it. Yeah. They help me produce it. Co-producing it.

Great fucking time. Just that's right up for that fucking party. Some of my finals are in New York in August, the third week in August, I came up with a date. Also, my app is coming out. I still can't say a name. You can't say it or you want me to read it and say it. No, he means he really means it.

Exactly. But hopefully, hopefully in two weeks time, I'll be talking about the app. Okay. All right. Do you need help with that? All right. I let you look down to see if you already had to band-in. No, no, no, what do you have?

Hey, I got some stuff coming up. I'm on the annoying voice. I'm on the road a bunch. On the west coast. San Francisco punchline, Sacramento punchline, Tacoma comedy club, stand-up, Scottsdale, and check out my podcast. Tuesdays with stories with the truth, Joe List. Oh yeah, I love that show. Thanks, and follow me on Twitter at Mark Norm. Awesome, man. Thanks for coming on. Thank you. I'm Rob Love's argue in Twitter, and that's also the name of my podcast, which I just started like three weeks ago. Yeah, this is going lovely. Thanks for coming on. Thank you. I'm Rob Luzar, you're on Twitter, and that's also the name of my podcast,

which I just started like three weeks ago, which is going lovely. So I'm at a comedy bar on July 31st. You're back on campus, basically. Back on campus, yeah. Yeah, when he shows in New York. I mean, not yet. I'm just, I'm slowly getting here.

I'm actually going back up to Toronto to do that at a JAPL. JAPL for you too. Yeah, is that fun? Yeah, it's the best. I think it's. And if, Jeff, I'll- Jeff, I'll pour you too. Yeah, is that fun? Yeah, it's the best. I think it's like the most properly run comedy festival in the world.

They do it like it's so succinct and tight. So that's quite fun as much real like I'm going to do my show. Probably comedy bar. That's a great room. Comedy bar. I do. Comedy bar is my favorite place.

What's the other room I do over the weed place? Underground comedy club. Yeah, I always have to cut my set short there. Because last time I was it was packed, it was sold out. And I was like around 30 minutes in, it was like, I always have to cut my set short there because last time I was it was packed it was sold out Yeah, and I was like around 30 minutes it was like I gotta go yeah, I was sorry. Well, I just started seeing weird shit I was like yeah, that's what the crowd looks like there Uh-huh, huh, all right Let's give it all Canada

All right, that's good man. Well, thanks. I'm welcome to New York first of was so worried. I was going to win it. All right, that's good, man. Well, thanks. Welcome to New York, first of all. Thanks. And thanks for coming on the show. What do you got? What do you have? Him first, another do you, dude?

Oh, yeah. Go to Deepo. What do you got, Deepo? July 31st, I'll be in Union City, New Jersey doing comedy, Explore Hotel and Hostel. Woohoo! Hostel. That should be fun. Like Lewis would say, I really want to do good numbers there.

And August 9th, I'll be at Freddy's bar in Park Slope so you can check that out Hey yo fuckin' look who's getting some shows man working it good for you No we could just announce shows like that I got a ton of shows then You have a show you want to announce? I was fucking around You're gonna be at the village lantern Underground that's underground What do you got Scop the size of big juicy ass

that's basically all i got going for me uh... now i got a july 31st in august firstment uncle vines ooooh point pleasant oh different year and what else that's it all right man what do i got

all right well let's do this go to my website by my my DVD, $5 live at the Villagina grant, or you can go to iTunes now, we just released it, the audio version on iTunes. It was up on the top whatever last week when it aired and it's right up on the front. I don't know if it's still there, but go buy it. Buy a couple of songs off it, whatever you're going to do. Just buy the whole album, it's nine bucks, the audio version on iTunes, and have it just on your iPhone or Samsung, what have the fuck you got?

And also, sex drugs, rock and roll, Tuesday, a Thursday night's Tuesday, a Thursday night's a 10 o'clock on FX. I just want to let you know, thank you, everybody who listens to this show for watching the show, The numbers were fucking great. That's awesome. That was a scary fucking. You know, that's that's scary when you know, you put a show out and you're like, God, the numbers are coming in. Unbelievable. And the DVR numbers were huge. So sex drugs and rock and roll live numbers that night were huge the DVR numbers the three day numbers We still haven't got we go we usually with seven days, but they're fucking off the charts So you guys are amazing. Thank you for watching the show watch the next nine. I swear to god They get better and better and better in my pockets

I do more and more and more every episode so you fans of mine But the whole cast is amazing. So, check it out. What do I got for dates? If you're listening live, New Jersey Bob will be at Springfield, New Jersey, the comedy cove this weekend, Friday and Saturday.

One show Friday, two shows Saturday, comedy cove, Springfield, New Jersey. Zainey's Nashville, July 30th and 31st, you going down there? And August 1st, I'm sorry. So that's Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Thursday, one, Friday, two, Saturday, two. Then that's a Nashville, Tennessee, Zainey's, correct? That's correct.

And I haven't been there in a long time. And I don't know how I'm going to do down there. So do me a favor, if you're from there and you're going, spread the word, man. Really try to pack up that Friday night. Uh, Saturday night a lot of people come, but Friday night, uh, Friday night first show, second show, let's, uh, let's pack this fucker out. So if you're going to get your friends, let's get it together, spread the word from me down there. Uh, Long Island, you're at in bohemia on august seven and then bill more august eight and then august twenty twenty first twenty second you're in you toss all

the city at the fifty west club can't wait to play that so uh... all right great uh... on tomorrow night i'm gonna be at the uh... at at the around seven o'clock i'm gonna be at the house uh... no what is it bb kings to show with uh... a bunch other comics. So if you want to come down and check it out BB Kings tomorrow night Wednesday night We're time around I think it's seven o'clock. I'm coming. That's a cool room. It's a great room, and we're doing it I just saw a Tom Petty cover band there last week. Oh, that's a stand-hope there. Wow. That's better That's way better. Yeah Tom Petty cover band. What week. Oh, that's a stand hope there. Wow, that's better. That's way better. Yeah, Tom Pettie cover man.

What do they call it? I didn't have any petty rumors. It was also Stevie Neck's cover. Pettie rumors? Yeah. Ah, Canadian. I hope they, I hope they get stuck in Canada. I hope he gets stuck in a doorway.

Oh, come on. That was, he still has an eye out. Oh, you still have it on your shoulder. All right, I'll see you guys later. Thanks for coming on, you guys. Thanks for listening. Do you guys, you guys, the best fans of the world? You know what, dude. You've been listening to the YKWD Podcast. Thanks for listening.

Now, go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh You