Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rat without a Rubber

Episode Date: October 10, 2016

This week on YKWD: We have Luis J Gomez, Louis Katz, Mike Recine, and Mark Normand! Hosted by Joe "The Truth" List. With Bobby out, things quickly get rowdy. Everyone takes their nipples out, makes a move on Lauren, and admits life-ruining facts about themselves. Watch / Listen and Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? You know what, dude? On the RiotCast Network.

RiotCast.com. ¿Habéis visto que se ha ido a la espacia? All right, recorda. Welcome. Going to the funniest bar. Just a moment, blinded bird. This is going to be a cost of fire. This bar has no rules. All right, we're recording Yeah, and sometimes it's hilarious sometimes it's 10 no topics no directions. I love doing it Side to the coin. That's how the host does you idiot Podcasts popular Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my free. It's serious. Oh, is that right? You do the Is serious. Yes Well, welcome to today's with stories folks. We got a bunch of guests here I'm just kidding. Of course. This is a Joe list Subbing in for Robert Kelly who's having surgery today. He couldn't be here Is spleen removed you hear about the what no emergency spleen surgery yes he asked me to uh... explain everything to you guys uh... that was not scripted believe it or not

right off the top of the old dog is he really having surgery no no he's uh... on tour with stop i'm sure he's bullying stavros someone i mean it's sad that it like it's likely that he's having surgery in my mind. I bought it Someone's gonna have to buy it He's gotten sure and some sure but yeah, fill it in for Robert Kelly. Hello. The seat over here. It's a nice Yeah, so much room. I've never seen the shelf behind you It's very exciting to be over here And it's an honor and a lot of

people think you're going to try to pull a coup on a mutiny. Lewis, Jacob, is yeah. And Esther Kuh. You think he knows who this is not be funny and laugh a lot? Lewis I would say is the smartest but I was going to rank who the smartest people. I would say Louis cats one. Louis very smart. Lewis, Jacob, is two. Deep in his account becauseats won. Louis is very smart. Louis J. Gomez too. Deepwood home count because he's Indian. That's cheating. Yeah, that's like that's like being able to say a fish is the best swimmer in the room. Right. I would say Louis Cats is the smartest guy in the room. Louis Cats won. Louis Gomez too. I would say Mark III and I would say Mike. I don't want to say distance fourth but I want to

definitely imply it. I'm really not a bright guy. That was very smart to admit it. You have the look and voice and everything about a dumb dumb. Right. And I was always the kind of like the youngest guy around, but now I'm not that young anymore. And there's no excuse to be so stupid. Well, I don't think you're... Do you really think you're stupid? Maybe a little. I don't know. I don't read or anything. I don't understand.'re do you really think you're stupid maybe a little I don't know I don't read or anything I don't I think you suffer from at the accent. I think hurts that didn't help you

But you're saying you legitimately don't really read do you watch the news? No, but that doesn't really make you smart I'm talking about smarts. I'm not talking about What are you saying? Are you saying like IQ level? Are you saying how? I'm saying IQ level how much shit they know I think i'm combining the two of a good at it probably i'm combining the two problem solving how they have a good knowledge giant umbrella i like knowledge history politics all things considered i'd say that i'm

the smartest in the world you think you're smarter than louis cats i don't i i i don't know if there's a problem any challenge i want to take so yes you're dumb That makes you dumb, but Louis like Louis a lot of wisdom you've been to how many countries have you visited? I know a lot most most most of them most countries and you've been in the most countries ridiculous shut up That's ridiculous. No, it's a dumb thing to say. I've been to a lot of countries and I've I've read stuff So if that makes me smart then yes, I can you're the oldest probably a little more with a lot of cuts nice what do you mean it's all I have is time I have so much time I work really hard

as a comedian no you don't have a bunch of a bunch of time to read no that's stupid that's a, that's stupid. That's a delticent. That's not stupid. But we're talking about- So how much time can you put into going- Where would Harry Potter started all being like 700 pages? That's when I stopped reading them.

Oh, you read them before that? I didn't know that it was before. I read all seven books and I'm gonna read the new book. Yeah, because you're smart. But back to the point, I can sit and write and listen to sets for an hour, hour and a half, which is most more than 99% of comedians. And then I send an hour of emails. And then it's five more, seven more hours to my sets.

You mean you're not doing that much more with your career? I'm working hard, that's hard work. That's hard work. Listen to your sets and sending emails. I have nine podcasts, it's hard work. That's what, but it is well work. It's an ale, you bro. Well, no, I've run a podcast network. I have two podcasts. I have a radio show

That's a radio career. I'm you look out in your radio career right scripts I fucking go to acting classes you know acting classes well not in one right now But I do yeah I took acting classes I gotta do that yeah, I think I'm working pretty hard I think I'm putting out a lot of stuff. I'm doing a lot of TV a couple albums the whole thing I'm on the road I think you're lazy and a lot of time. I'm definitely lazy for sure I'm saying I work harder than a lot But you listed two hours worth of work in your day and you're complaining about having all the time in the world The read of course you know

There's no point burnt out after you can only put do so many hours of these things some of these things My point is that comedy if you're just doing stand-up, working at a stand-up, you have a lot of free time. That's the benefit of doing comedy. That's what's great about it. I go to sporting events, I travel, I have sex. I think, well, that all sounds fun, but I think those are the good old days of stand-up. I feel like I work, I get up, I work all day till I sleep,

and that's every fucking day. Seven days a week, yeah. Really? I'll send you guys my bank account. I'm doing fine with my two hours a day. I mean, packets, yeah. Like, these days, I feel like you have, doing fine with my two hours a day. I mean packets. Why I figured like these days I feel like you have, at least with me it's like I have stand up

and then whatever. That's like my first job. I have to harass female comics on Facebook. So you guys are just swapped all day long. Like today, I did. I did. I did. Mark and I recorded some advertisements for our podcast.

We had a a a phoneer with a TV producer. Yeah, went very well. So what did you get to go pretty well? And I sat down, I wrote some jokes. I still took the train here, that's 45 minutes. I read on the trains. Well that's the time we need to read. That's our work.

You've worked all day. Yeah, I've worked all day, but I have time to read. And go to the movies. What are you reading? I'm reading Bruce Springsteen's book. It's unbelievable. And you're not a time to go to the movies today. You fucking jerk off.

Not today, but I have. I go all the time. Go into the movies as part of the job because you're trying to write movies some all right So now I realize we're betting Well so is sex I have jokes about so so is sex and so it up You got to sleep in this part of the job. You got to put things into right things out man You got to live life a little bit, but right? I mean you in the commute There's especially in New York. There's always time to read on the subway So you don't have time to read I agree so you So you're in the room. You have time to read.

I agree. So you should be reading more, Mike. I was reading a ton until I figured out I could download games on my phone. Rub, boy, that's bad news. That's a trap. You don't want the games. That's why I don't watch any shows. Most of you guys probably watch at least three shows that you watch.

I know. I started shows. I just watched my first show. It was exciting to watch a show. The way people watch. Yeah, I watched. I never watched anything serialized before. So I knew what it was like to watch everything in like a few sitt show. It was exciting to watch a show. The way people watch it. Yeah, I watched it. I never watched anything serialized before. So I had no idea what it was like to watch everything

in like a few sittings. It's fun. It's fun, but it's also like, man, they stretched the shit out forever. Like little thing will happen in one episode. And then like, well, you got your little thing. That's it. Yeah, that's a problem with that new Black Guy Superhero show.

It's a... Okay. Yeah, we're dealing with superheroes like especially Marvel you want like fast paced like balls of the wall I see that Marvel thing and I'm just expecting a fast paced and this like literally like like it's shot once in episode like walk through it you know I got that's it this is all that's all the action the whole episode Luke Perry what's it called Luke Cage Luke Cage I thought was, I literally saw the hashtag,

I thought it was a shooting victim. Because everyone was like, oh boy, Luke Cage. I was like, oh, there's another one. Oh yeah, but he lived. Yeah. But that's the whole thing. The amount of images of black people being shot to death in the show.

If you're a white guy, it's pretty awesome. Well, here's the, we're in the minority though most every fucking committee and i know watches every show breaking bad they were all over the sopranos you have to do does all those show whatever show all those big shows every comedians talking about the events about who's the boy my Florence nobody thinks he's lazy nobody would call my glorance lazy but he's been seen every fucking movie and tv show where's he getting the time? True. If you put in, if you work a ton,

you should have three hours of nothing. I mean, I watch it late at night, when I'm going to bed, I'll watch a TV show. That's when I'll get to watch a one show. You see, you're watching all kinds of UFC. Yeah, but that's literally my job. But I think we get weird if we don't work. We have to work.

Or else we start drinking and you'll smoke weed all day. You get cookie, you get a little nutty, you got to work. Croquet, what did you say? Cootie. But what I'm saying is, there are most Americans have a job that goes from 8 to 5 plus the commute. So they're gone from 8 to 6, then they have kids that are going to get home, start making dinner. They are like, I don't know if they're going to be able to do it.

I've realized that because I'm home with my kid during the day, parents's like parents go to work like eight o'clock to five, six p.m. They get home by seven. The kid goes to bed like an hour later. Nobody's raising their fucking kids. It's fucking crazy. How little time people are spending with their children? I never saw my parents until I was 31. I mean, it's crazy.

They never were around when I was a kid. But you're putting in time with your kid, minus your seven podcasts that you're doing. Well, no, I mean, yeah, I spent a few hours in the oven. I guess that's another reason why I don't have a ton of time. My mom, you're parenting. Think about all the times you're parenting. But I work while I parent.

Yeah. And now you did, you fuck hell close my computer on me. It's what a fucking punch in the room. That sounds sad. My mom had to take my autistic brother to the therapy a lot when we were younger. And like my grandma would be home. And one time a kindergarten, I shit my pants. And my mom wasn't take my autistic brother to therapy a lot when we were younger and like my grandma would be home And one time a kindergarten I shit my pants and my mom wasn't there my grandmother was there and she had to clean up after me I remember thinking like you shouldn't have to do this

Mom should be here. Did you shit your pants at home or at school? I shit my pants at like one o'clock and then I just I didn't tell anybody good for you I nobody ever found out It's still one of my biggest accomplishments. Wow, that's impressive. Give her some volume. He's lower than everybody. So you're better at shitting your pants

than you are at making love. Yeah. I went to bed at a friend's. I was a real bed wetter. Slept at a friend's house. We had summer camp the next day. Went to summer camp the whole day, piss soaked, and hit it from everyone.

It was the hardest day of my life. People like try to hug me. Did anyone like catch on or anything? Nobody, nobody. They were like, complete football, tackles. Like, can't tackle. Did you do any of that? It was a long time to have a load in your pants.

Yes, kid with kids. That's way harder to stay stuck. That's way harder. You do the trick where you like, oh, the new fashion is to tie your sweatshirt around the front. Like, that's the cool thing to do. Right, everyone's doing that.

For Chris Cross. If you're in your pants, it's cool. On Miles Davis. Me and's the cool thing to do. I was doing that. Like Chris Cross. If he and your pants is cool, I'm Miles Davis. Maybe my buddy used to jerk off into his pool a ton. Yeah, we did that. Yeah, I swiped it. I didn't watch it swim in a way. He's a swimmer. Did you stand over it and jerk off in it?

Or just like, no. No, we're like in the pool jerking off together. And yeah, and this is when I first started coming. So it would literally, what are I, the amount of calm that was in this guy's pool. It was a's pool. It was a kiddie pool. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

But who said that? You were here. So how much time, I wanna get back to this. So how much time are you spending stand up? Well here, standing. Are you still listening to things? I really don't listen, really at all anymore. So we're not even gonna invite you.

I never really have. What's your method then? You just kinda go in and figure it out. My method is I write on social media. Usually I'll write shit on social media and then I'll take that to the stage and I'll try to turn that into stand up. Right.

Typically anything that I'll write it down or I'll write it in my phone, like during the day I'm just walking around. And if it's really funny or if I think I can make it into a tweet or something, I'll tweet it out and then I try to put that on stage And that's typically my process now to write stand up. I spend a lot of time freaking out about it. Yeah, you know, you just But now you're listening to anything

Yeah here and there I should do it more than I do, but I think it is helpful Definitely, I'll see what I'm doing new stuff when there's something I was trying out You know, it's important sometimes you know what you know is that weird mysterious thing We're like jokes working and it's working and then it just stops working. Yes. The tapes know the answer Like if you see the tapes you can figure out what you're doing. If you should be really careful about it It can be like use the n-word there But so it helps to listen things, but you know what I think your time on a lot is there's this like a kind of a freelancer's paradox We're freelancers should have more free time

Because you're constantly yeah, you're number two bro He's a freelancer's But that's something red Listen back to this and see if it works It's not gonna work knowing here knows what a paradox is a free I know the paradox I thought back to the future all right, so you know what it means So I had a lot of free time I kept watching it over over again. I saw them at osfess 98 Back in the future

I've freelanced paradox oh paradox paradox I think you just meant that's a better name for that a pantera Just fucking go with it. So I banned who cares? You think you have more free time because you should have more free time because it's flexible, but because you're constantly having to hustle up work, you have no free time. So if someone with a nine to five actually has way more free time, except at five o'clock, they're done. They're clocked out to whatever they want. Never clocked out. We're working consistently. Yeah, and I think it's also wide no matter how much money you make on anything. You always feel like it's not enough. Yeah, because you're you're like all right the amount of time that I've put it into to this not making money off of everything podcasts writing Stand up performing doing whatever when you finally get something you're like, dude

If I broke this down by like hourly what I put it to it's not I'm bucks an hour. It's in sale. I wish it was not Yeah, but I like Check for like a grand and you're like, well, this has to last me like nine years. But also, I think that that's your choosing to not check out. I, I, I, I, what is it check out? What is it called again? Paradox?

No, no, what is the one? Check out. Clock out. I clock out all the time. I mean, you got to choose to clock out. By the way, it's so much smarter than everybody in this room. But I think I'm smarter right now because I clock out I'm the term clock out you dummy I

Couldn't remember his term. That's not short term memory doesn't imply intelligence But yeah, he's smarter than me. Oh, yeah, I forgot to put my include myself. I'm so impressed with this the freelancers Paradox I forgot the name of it already It's like a book title, but if But Evilio song if you were that smart You would clock out and enjoy your life. No, I mean it's like yeah, I mean you cop out smart It's such a weird thing to measure. It's a femoral you know what I mean so it says whoa it's a Feminine Feminine bro. I ain't no fact

Get it a source it was like it's kind of like that like knows the word the source. It's kind of like that. Mike knows the word the source. That was pretty good. He thinks it's a dinosaur. Yeah. He thinks it's a dinosaur joke. But I feel like in New York, I'm wiped all day so busy, so busy. And then I get on the road, I'm like, shit, I got nothing to do. I'm sitting in Cincinnati, like, what the fuck? I'm also not motivated to write on the road.

Now, I'm going to get one of the hotel room for some reason. I cannot sit down and work on anything. You gotta do that hotel whacking. Yeah, that's what you just joke about. I'm so glad. Oh my god. Someone's whacking. No, that I jerk off at a hotel room.

You know what's the fuller? The best is when they give you a room with two beds by accident, and then you just have a jerk off at the back of the spare bed. That's all. AJ and Abelucci has a joke about them eating. She says eating, but she eats. Oh, yeah, that's her jacking off in the hotel. Yeah.

I'm still glazed. He's like a king or something. I just started to try a rule, because I had a sharp shooting pain in my dick, and I said, gone. Yeah, it went gone. Oh, good. It went gone.

I guess I'm number five. Yeah, it's on the bottom. It went gone. But guess I'm number five. Yeah, it's not. You're on the bottom. It went gone. But I was doing a little research on the shooting pain in my dick, and it happens for people that use tubes to extend their dick. Like, you know those. Are you doing that?

No, but I do jerk off raw. So I'm just tugging on my dick. I go raw. Just cross, dry rub, you mean? Yeah, dry rub. So you're just pulling, and then you're like, there's tendons and veins in there. So I'm just jerking on like tendons. You're literally pulling. You should be like lightly stroking, man. Have you? No, no, I like to rip that shit.

I grip it and rip it. I got a lot of free time. Joe's never made a woman wet. What do you mean? So that's the most we talk about. I mean Mean have any of us Pussy gets wet I thought it was working off When the pussy come in yeah, Lauren's wet right now. I'm so happy. There's no women here Slurps a woman I hosted the show last week in scobals like we got to have a chick. We got to have a chick and it's like I got Lauren like on why can't we be why do we need to have some fucking equality movement? It's ridiculous. Hello boys, it's me, Kelly Pastico.

You had to put the name in so we knew what you were doing. I thought you were doing Jack the Ripper. Who that was? Hello, hello. It's a very pop. It's like when there's a commercial with a low level celebrity and have to say fucking this is rich boss Why didn't even introduce everybody I should have introduced This is why this is gonna be a coup dude. This is I've done such a spectacular host

Hi-Coo everyone is evenly spoken. We ranked it all this is all pre-form. Oh, you PE That's a That's a car. That's a car. I love that car. Anyway, how do you spell co? Take the E-R-P. Ah, fuck. I thought there was an X in there.

There was an X. Spelling is only one aspect of how smart you are. It took us everybody. Sorry. I didn't say you weren't smart. I think that Lewis might be a smarter guy thanks let's do a contest how do you figure this out better hustler I'm a hustler baby that's a question I'm I'm unquestionably a better hustler the mark yeah what do you mean hustle like people like jogging works really hard starts I could never start a podcast network I don't want to yeah I can never like figure I don't want to figure that shit out, I couldn't do it.

But you're doing nine spots a night. You work hard in a different way, but we would all do nine spots a night. What do you mean? We would all do that. If we could, like if I got booked on nine spots a night, we'd do them. He worked to get to that.

No, but that's not the hard work. The hard work is that he became a great comedian. People wanted to put him on that much. So I'm saying, like, no, I can't to find to do i don't want to do more than two spots okay we're lazy fucking jiu i'm not lazy i know it's just not working as hard

i think i cap out at two spots at night though to i think after that it's kind of like yeah so he's working hardens what uh... weekends well honestly like you're saying man if they would book me i would be doing all the spot But but I did notice but that's for money and really I feel like I get the work done maybe to you're right I agree the thoughts as much and then it's that then I'm like I don't know just I start hating stand-up and it's bad Oh, really? I don't have that. I enjoy it. Would you write on stage? I do all the time

I don't write on stage as much I'm starting to more now and I think that's what if you write on stage Then it's like the more stage time the better how do you ever get bored? What do you mean by write on stage as much. I'm starting to more now and I think that's what if you write on stage Then it's like the more stage time the better. How could you ever get bored? What do you mean by write on stage? Like I write all things there and just writes Whatever it is as well the crowd is good for me. I enjoy it Just mark silently sitting there a feather quill He's not writing jokes He's writing letters to his girlfriend. I'm a candle.

Don't have me writing. I think there's people in Brooklyn that do that. And then there's other people in the back of my. He's great. Probably, yeah. I think there is people like that. That's Louie Katz over there. Say hi to the Know Your Dumb voice there. Your Jewish. Smart voice. Very smart voice.

Yeah. That's Louie Katz. What smart voice. You've got your fucking face. That's Louis Katz, what are you, you've been on half hour, in a half hour, and you did Fallon way back. Fallon, half hour, HBO, other things. I like making people list their own credits. It's nice, brag a little.

Yeah, Louis Katz over there, and then we got Microsine, or just did a second Conan. Woo, with the red jacket baby. Yeah, that was that was hot Thanks, hell of a Conan. Do you feel good about it? Yeah, I feel good good a couple of applause breaks Yeah, I read the YouTube comments though. Oh Same

You know just like what's like the common one like what's that everyone like yeah, Faggot? That's good dumbest guy in the room Any ear comments no, but I know you're a first one for guy in the room. Yeah. Any ear comments? No, but I know you're the first one. Is that a jab at me? What do you mean? That's all I get is who's this bag with the earlobes? Yeah, but the earlobes.

What's with the earlobe? Mine are connected. Oh, he's got alien ears. You got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, got, you got, you got, you got, got, you got, you got, got, you got, you got, you got, got, you Yeah, you're gonna see the stuff hanging from the top of it Well, it was a great going the first one was amazing second one was was also It was good. Thanks. I Getting it was great. Jeez Lewis. So Brown let him know let him know who you are dog You might have seen you might have heard me on my radio show The Countdown on Series 6M, RR 93. You might have seen me for nine seconds on NBC's last comic standing. Oh, yeah.

You might have, if you lived in like four or five different regions in this country, you might have caught my set on X's TV's Gotham Comedy Live. Did you go watch that? I think more people watch that than watch like, Corden. I'm not done, Joe. Maybe this past season of Comedy knockout you to see me or black and white on a and a but let's be honest these people they know you yeah they know what's going on here or maybe possibly you've seen my other

podcast the Legion of Skanks podcast and the guest is it'll network yeah let's not uh talk about how popular that pot is. It's very popular. I think we've exceeded the popularity of why can't it be named? Oh yeah, let's talk. Speaking of exceeded the popularity of this podcast, to your left is Mark Norman. Hey! Tuesdays with stories, you might have heard me on Conan as well,

Colbert. I don't know. How many Conan's you've done? Big four! Isn't that crazy you've spent 20 minutes on Conan? Wow, that's true. That's pretty wild. I never thought pretty wild. I was thinking about that with What's his toes? Jake Johansson did five albums worth of letterman sets

Wow, he did 45 sets. He's done five albums worth of late nights and nobody knows who he is Yeah, is that a bummer? But a bunch of people know who he is, but not deep boo And then Lauren's over there and then what's your name again? Sorry But a bunch of people know who he is, but not Deepu. We're talking about again. There you go. And then Lauren's over there. And then what's your name again, sorry. I didn't realize they gave you a mic. Sorry. I want to brought you into this.

He's a leasing or a meganith. That's Dave Mustaine. Yeah. Oh, good. Good. Metal knowledge. Thanks Lewis. I know a lot of front-stand at Doug Kee's house.

I know you guys know. I know Doug Kee. I got to talk to Doug Kee's house. I know you guys know. I know Doug Kee. I gotta talk to Doug Kee. I gotta check me over here. What? No. Don't say that. What is that?

It's not funny. Why did you say that? I'm kidding. Jesus Christ. Oh, I don't know. Maybe there's an accusation. Get spread this shit. I'll get add some clump in here.

They date rape. That's a date you're visiting. You're visiting? Yeah. Yeah. What an awesome way to date Raybrich check. If you just say it three times, she appears and you get to date Raybr. What's that Neil? Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen DeGeneres. I got a crush. You like dark took my little apartment when I lived here. So I go back and stay with him. Oh, wow. And yeah, I used to do stand-up here, but I'm a couple years younger in the scene than you guys. Oh cool big fan of two stories

Lead to the skanks Let's call you gay Thank you for saying that Lewis you you have gotten a big beef on my comment thread a few weeks ago What what chick would happen on your trip girl who said like comics should have to pay to submit to comedy festival Oh, yeah, so I'm arguing with this fucking bitch Yeah, you showed her No somebody tagged me on it. I take you into it. Oh you were the one who tied me into it You were gonna like speak for comment. You really did you work in 9-11 thread, too? Yeah, dude

I fucking I'm gonna range for no reason By the way, I'm talking about how hard I work. I'm doing nothing but just arguing with people on Facebook all day. That seems most common. Because you read Facebook, you're angry. It's just way too much. Yeah, that's the thing.

I'm watching movies, but all the people are fucking commenting on it. Don't you think it's maybe, I mean, I feel like I should do more on Facebook. Man, some people seem like they're really funny. And it's like, they're always there. And then other people think they're funny. And then it's such an insular world.

In a jigsaw, we don't. Oh, we have to wait until it's better they're always there and then other people think they're funny and it's such an insular world. In two weeks, we know we're in between his better insular. Yeah. Yeah. Where does his second place make it? Maybe a past like a six. But the key to your sentence was moron. What?

You said I should do moron Facebook. Yeah. That's the key. Moron. Where's the bomb, Dana? Oh, right here. He's got it already. He's got it already. He's got it already. He's got it already. He's got it already. He's good. You know, I think he's overrated to be honest on Facebook. I like Micah and Janelle.

They're pretty funny. Micah's funny. Who's Micah? Micah fuck. Yeah. She's funny. Right. Yeah.

I don't know. I think I'm better than all these people. I'm not talking about it. I think it's not funny. I think it's not funny. I think it's not funny. I think it's not funny. I think it's not funny.

I think it's not funny. I think it's not funny. I think it's not funny. I think it's not funny. It's not funny. It's not funny. It Mike is funny. Who's Mike? Mike a fuck yeah, she's funny. Right Yeah, all right. I don't know. I think I'm better than all these people My thing is I'm reading all of it. I'm just not I'm reading a lot of them. Tim Dylan also Tim Dylan Tim Dylan. He's a He jumped the shark. I used to think he was great. It's just too much too far. Yeah, too much

Hmm. It's too much to him though. We get it Tim. Everyone's poor. I just don't get tired Like I people coming to see it because your Facebook comments I mean how valuable is this time? But it's a connection with your fans they feel like they can comment I feel like it is yes. But you cap at it five thousand friends that's what Twitter is better really good at yeah. And half of them are comics. But I post a simsion on Twitter I think it's a snapchat guys. That's the thing with my world to hold for the viewers.

Instagram but here's the thing like how connected do you need to be to your fans? I put out a podcast and I do stand up. I don't want to be chatting with that. No offense to that. Do you want to go the bare minimum? I get it, you're the guy who comes in, you check in exactly when you're supposed to check in, you check out exactly when you're supposed to check out.

I think, no. Or maybe he's more about doing the art that we're supposed to talk about. Fucking art is bullshit. Yeah, but I think she's a genius. Guess what? Now you're not as smart as Microsine and then number two. I'm a fucking art of bullshit. Yeah, but I think she's a genius. Guess what? Now you're not as smart as Microsine, and then number two. I'm just saying, I agree that you need to do all,

I do have to do all this stuff, but I'm saying I get why you don't want to, and I don't think that's clocking out. I think it's like, but you think, focus on what you should, but really we should all be focused on. To be successful, you have to comment back and forth

with fans and respond, I mean, here's a little guy, maybe you heard of, no Twitter, no Facebook, no Instagram. Maybe you heard his name before Louis CK ever hear of You can't you can't you can't count people from that actually you can't count people that got famous in another era It's a different time now and and you how you you gotta put it still famous. You gotta build a follow this days famous Yeah, but he's gonna build a TV show also Also, it's a building a follow the TV show he broke through with old media and most of those most of those people

You're talking about broke through with old media. They did that But if I have it if you get a TV show are you you're not gonna be on Facebook right and bullshit Well the thing is nowadays people have TV shows and no one even knows who the fuck they are What they're verified. It makes me want to punch my screen. People get mad about verify. You got to go to therapy for a day. You're going to get over the verify. That should not have any effect. It doesn't make me mad that I'm not verified because I don't have that many Twitter followers.

It just makes me furious when I see somebody who has two thousand. Wait, so check, Mark, you don't have two thousand, you get seven? No, I got fifteen thousand. All right, good. All right, yeah. I'm doing okay. Mark I I don't comment back and forth on Facebook occasionally. I'll say a show I don't do any Facebook. We just got recognized in the street. Yeah, baby all the time where I go We got people coming out. I'm not Facebook and people I got a podcast. They can hear me for an hour on there I'm here right now. Yeah, the social media stuff is just like a

Substitute for for doing the work. Well, there's a lot of that for sure Yes, yeah stuff is just like a substitute for doing the work. Well, there's a lot of that for sure. There's a lot of that. That's, yeah, no. I think there's a lot of who get better and better. You know, jik-jik jobs are there. That's true. Some do.

They're called women. Yeah. That's an insane way to hire somebody or to get a job. I know. But yeah, that's crazy to be. But I don't want those jobs. I think you're just doing it a different way.

You know, not everybody has an album. not everybody, you know, not everybody, everybody sells their album on the road. And that everybody has a t-shirt. People do different things. So I don't think there's one wrong way or one right way. But I'm saying a better way is to do your podcast, work on the standup. Yeah, but I think I'm supposed to go and hang on. I feel like working on standup, that's getting up in the morning and brushing your teeth. No shit. You have to do that. We're not gonna pat

ourselves on the back for doing fucking spots. We're supposed to do spots every night. We're supposed to be writing jokes every night. Bear minimum. So it's the extra shit that you do that I think is gonna make of the difference between you making a lot of money or being very successful in this business. So not you Joe you're an exceptional comedian. Thank you. It took you 17 years to get where you're at right now and you have to have the recognition that you have this guy but i'm saying there are guys that are coming up in a digital age and they're taking advantage of the tools that

they have available to them that are also funny but here's my thing here's my thing some of these people i'm not naming names or anybody but some of these people maybe they're working on their building the thing with facebook comments and and and posts and Trolling or whatever and then they got the fan base. No, then now they have a fan base I want to go see that guy. What's he gonna do type statuses? He's got to do an hour Yeah He's gonna fall in his face all those people are also legit comedians in some of the mart And you know what I love when that comes through I love yeah these podcasts people who are great and then they go on stage

You're like look at Bob Kelly Bob Kelly is a great example of a great comedian who does who's ahead of the curve on every type of media and every type of every he was doing podcasting before everybody. He was doing the video podcasting before everybody website application. All the social media things that everyone does he's he has before everybody else, but he's still a solid comic. Right. Yeah, I just I'm just questioning how valuable use of time getting in Facebook wars that's all bullshit that's not going to get rape and they go all they go all over the place fuck that you're not a joke you know got

ready to the 90s it was fine so here for rape my mom was raped what you're not counting is that your podcast is a form of social media. Yeah, it is. That's your that's your contribution. Man, it's guy. Well, I'm not saying I'm not I'm not against Social media. I mean, I'm not so sure. I'm saying I'm talking about Facebook fucking the Facebook posting But I'm just saying that's your that's how you're doing that reach So you're doing the thing you're like is it really necessary? Can't you just concentrate on your act? Well, you are doing that. And you're also transmitting something to your fans

on a regular basis. But I think what I'm taking is you are like, can't stay and connect it with the fans. I'm like, I'm putting on a show. The show is, I have a different connection with my fans because I'll fucking actually have a conversation with them on the strings. You'll actually make them drive you to gigs and stuff like that.

Yeah, I do. By the way, that's just a different form of fucking inter marketing. No, I know. I agree. But that's not even career. That's not even career-wise. That's personality-wise.

No, you're a fun guy who's like, like, come pick me up. It'll be crazy. Yeah, I'm like, there are two. Bobby goes fishing with people. Do I try to put that to comedy central? He goes fly a fishing with a fan. I tried to put that to comedy central, and I had a guy drive me,

I had a guy drive me, and we did it on Periscope, and I just tweeted, I was like, hey, I gotta be picked up here, drop me off here, and we just talk shit, we smoke a blunt in the car, and then they drive me. So I think I waiting in the lobby for comedy central, my management was like, oh, dude, it'll be great, have them wait for you,

and I pitched this to them, dude. They looked at me like they couldn't have been any more scared for the building security. I think it was a great idea. You could web series that. Yeah, I think so too. But yeah, it was uh, yeah, I don't know that but that's the thing. It's just utilizing these

different tools in different ways. You're just doing you're just doing it your way. Yeah. No, I agree with that. I'm just talking about. I don't think you can't hate on somebody that's putting on the screen. I'm having a discussion about it But put on this effort into making like Instagram videos and your story and stuff I don't know that just seems like the biggest waste of time. I don't know

I have a theory that if I just dropped literally everything else stand up It's writing the scripts all that shit and just focus on social media for like a year I just want to know what would happen. I think something would happen happen I think I would make money somehow I think you'd just kind of fall off the earth but eventually I think you would yeah I mean the standup is your thing I don't understand how like like Mike Lawrence has a show on Snapchat like a 10-second show and I'm like hey what that's like a thing let me just pay you to do a show for him whatever he's crazy to me Lord says all the thing he's posting on Facebook all the time he'll get into it

he's tweeting all the time he's working with me but Lois does all the thing. He's posting on Facebook all the time. He'll get into it. He's tweeting all the time. He's working with me. But you tweet 10 times a day. Every day. I do three jokes a day. That's like a thing I do. Right. Yeah, just kind of for fun.

I just to keep you fresh. Do you build up every day? Do you get new followers all the time all the time? All the time. I think it pays off. If I don't tweet, you're like, hey, where's that tweet? Yeah. Yeah. So it helps.

Yeah. And like Michelle Wolf did that. She was tweeting all day in all night for fires I mean, it's amazing and quality stuff to I'm not like who ain't what anyone's doing. I'm just having a discussion I could pay to live tweet the UFC events for series XM Oh, they're gonna find like a robot to eat her pussy. She'd be like unstoppable I think I only have get it It's funny. Yeah, it's like, it doesn't date or anything.

So, it's like a component. Oh, I see. Now, she's a hard work. She's working, incredibly hard. Hard on the horse. All of us, she's hard on the monster. Yeah, it's crazy, man. But you two are like that.

You two are like that? Are you not? Yeah. I think it's not the reason I'm working non-stop from when my eyes open to when my eyes close. Yeah, if I focus, like, I'm trying to get a new apartment right now and if I focus any time on that I feel guilty and I feel nervous like an anxiety because I'm not working on stand-up comedy. But to me, the what's personal, I'm not saying you got, I'm not trying to sway you

and I'm saying I'm better than you or I'm doing it better. I'm just saying what's the point of being a comic if you're not taking advantage of all the free time and enjoying yourself living life That's a good question, but I think it'll pay off later like work hard now enjoy later Well, I go on the road I had a blast in Cleveland. I went to restaurants all day. There's so much downtime on the road that like I feel guilty about the downtime Yeah, I feel like if I'm when I'm on the road it's different and I but I we go on the road enough I mean at least once a month You guys go on the road, it's different. But we go on the road enough. I mean, at least once a month, you guys go on the road a shit ton. But I'm like, oh, there were probably once a month,

at least one night or once a month. So I get a lot of downtime there. And then, I mean, I've always, I've worked since I was 11 years old, literally. I've had a job always, continuously since I was 11 years old. You were never in Latino. Yeah, I've never not worked. I was buying my school clothes from one from the time I was 12 on.

My mom supported me in that part of my life when I was very young. So I've just always had it in me to be industrious and time is money. So every time that I'm not working, I feel like holy shit, I could be doing something that could possibly turn into something bigger and more money. Right. For me personally, if I work too much, I get burned out and I'm not funny anymore. I'm just staring at a sheet of paper going, I gotta turn it off and go try to get laid and go on a date. I'm also trying to be, and I'm not saying you guys, I'm trying to be a good husband and son. I'm gonna go see my family. I wanna go hang out with these people. I wanna be a good citizen. I think you're more balanced than us.

All that's true. All that's true. And you might be saying that's your social media thing as a podcast. The cool thing about that is it's limited. The time that you spend on is whenever the time you record it and then you're out. Well, the other great thing about that and this is we're hanging out right now.

This is also social time. We're going to know each other. We're changing thoughts on the idea. Well, that's also why do you do this? Why would you choose a comedian if you're not going to take advantage of all the free time? That's what you just named right there. Our job is fucking awesome.

Our whole social lives are built into our job. We're constantly around our friends. Like a night out, if I was gonna wanna date with a chick, I was like, I would rather sit in, have order in some food, watch a fucking movie, do what we do. Going out, I do that every single night in my life already. So when you ask why you do this, it's awesome., you're right. Everything that we do is kind of awesome.

Even when you're writing a script, which is kind of, it's a lot of work or if you're submitting a writing packet, you get that gratification of finishing it and being like, being proud of something. It's like literally that artistic side of it. And then I don't know what reads it. Yeah, the packet thing, I don't get that anymore. A script is one thing. I don't really I've only submitted two packets of Collin Joestar somebody could help you out there and other than that it's fucking waste time But my like I've dated girls and they're like oh, I'm so jealous you you have all this free time You're just fucking around all day and I'm like you do way less work than me

These girls just sit on a fucking computer face booking nine to five right insane Shop and shit two things one thing I just feel, sometimes we get two inside baseball packet, these shows, they'll be a show will develop, and then they one-eat-riders, so they have all the managers and agents have their clients submit some sort of writing submissions. Yes, that's already,

and I roll it up and I beat my kid with it. Yeah. And secondly, I've read multiple articles that say, for what it's worth, I mean, it's kind of counted what we just discussed But most people is regrets at the end of their lives elderly people they regret is working too much and not Spending time but what if you like to work? Yeah, I mean that's that's it. I enjoy working Yeah, enjoy my job enjoy and this is why you're not in a relationship probably yeah, yeah, it's a relationship Yeah, it's they suck, but you're, you're one of the few people I've met

that works harder than anyone I know and is enjoying life more than anyone I know. It's a rare, you're a rare human being. All right, I'll take it. You're special, buddy. But you're also talking about guy like, guys, let's not, I know it's, we're in, it's we're too like in the game.

Like you guys are doing particularly well You know, I'm saying Mark you're fucking killing it for comics. You know, I'm saying like you're like you're like you're like most comics Yeah, there's like eight comics doing better than you are fighting one of the most most comics are fighting a much different fight But you know what I'm saying like you know like you obviously marks enjoying life he's killing you got it true and that's not true though there's a lot of missing in the mark uh... well first of all that's not true there's a lot of miserable richo genny was making tons of money killed himself i mean true to

i mean uh... gradually all that was killing it killed himself just that just a successful doesn't mean your happy and doing with with standups is ever since it's like any murphy set the bar and see martin you know i mean it's like and for a lot of comics. I feel like it's like if they're not reaching that They feel like they haven't done what they want to do and I don't want that at all. I want some gurus career somebody like that Yeah, that's a great career. It's not fair to say of course. He's happy is doing well. I mean that's this People that are doing better that are less than half a million a year Just doing just doing what I want to do talking into my girlfriend. That's totally attainable. That's what I, no, I think so. I mean, I wouldn't do this if that wasn't attainable.

I would go do something else that is less stressful and I'm working on something that's not that I can go. I just want to go. I just want to go. I just want to go. See, I don't enjoy working. I enjoy being on stage and having a new bit.

That's what motivates me. I like the feeling of a new bit. I don't like sitting there going, oh, I got a thing on your jaw. That part's miserable. Yeah, the new bit, then the girl on the crowd, you're like, I'm going to fuck this chick and then you go out, it's fun. That's the best part. It's fun.

It's all right. We figured it out, I think. How many new bits do you do at one time? Because I did a set last night of all new and I did okay, but I had maybe too much new in it. I'm worried we're getting too into comedy. We gotta keep it somewhat. Yeah, that was a make-up plan in the chat relatable.

Shut the fuck up, you fool. Let's hear the chat room, Deepu, what did they say? Sure, one second. Why is it frozen on me looking down? They're like, that's a paused playback thing. Oh, okay. They're like, talk more about working at Arby's. I can't relate to this shit. That's a pause playback thing. Oh, okay, like talk more about working at our bees

I can't relate to the shit I'm working a double day I just spit in a rose to be talking about that. By the way and reply to that guy can Mike get a job in there maybe So what do you make me and it says clocking out of this podcast. It's unbeaten. I don't get rid of them. So fucking beat it. We have a lot of people watching by the way. Sid Sybil says, love list, but he's not attractive. That's true. This is all stuff we know. Let me guess. Let me guess.

Talk about Anthony Collins, the OP show. There's some of that too. I'm really. Give us some other animals. It's a good combo. Chief Teet asks. Can you do it in an Indian accent? Chief Deet said. You just got hired for something. Alright cool. We don't need their names. Just bring the fuck up. What is Chief Teet said? I like Chief Teet. The fans like the names because they know their command. Let's go. The audience YouTube. This is what I'm comment Let's go the audience YouTube

Fuck the audience just give them a show they get it. They don't like it. Okay chief T has a question for the everyone here What would you guys do if you guys robbed Kim Kardashian? I'm vapor next question Not really They forgot to rape her Yeah, I think she was there for that anyway, Raymond Towers, did Lewis just say he's on the road once a month? Eek. That's a lie. It's less.

I don't know what his equals. Is it a little? I think he was like saying like, yeah, it's not much. It's busy. Yeah, these things. I don't understand this. That's not even a fucking, that's not even a, I think that's not even a bad amount. One or two months.

That's easy. There's a problem. I don't want to anger or fans or whatever, but like this is also it's a weird thing to just these people have input now like before Yeah, in the old days your art would be you put it out the difference And then you go to the fans right now. You don't want to reach out to the fans I want to create and put out a thing and then they like it So I like it. Here's the thing, this is a different color in the palette, which is being able to into weave. No more colors. I wish I didn't say you were number two

because I feel like you're trying to prove it to everybody. It's nice hearing from listeners, but you can't validate every single thing. No, I'm evaluating that fucking idiot's comment. Well, you know what's kind of weird is that stand up does is inherently taking their comments. Like they either laugh it or they don't. So lead back base.

That's why it's enough. You're laugh for Udola. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To go, and you're forehead's a little big. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But what do you think about it when I just said? You got it. What are you going to do?

But I also bring D-Poo for that. Well, what else can we talk about? You want to talk about your relationship. You want to talk about your relationship a little bit? Oh, boy. We don't have to. You said a little bit. I guess maybe a little bit. Well, say what you want to say, and then we'll all have one with your relationship. You want to talk about your relationship a little bit? We don't have to you said a little bit I guess maybe a little bit. Well say what you want to say and then we'll all Interject well, I we broke up for like a day and I hooked up with somebody

Bring this up buddy Shut up Mark. All right. I've just been in these shoes mark. It's fine. Don't let you but you don't look at a mark look at good marks down Well, he's in a relation. He's happy in it, but she knows already. She knows already How old and how'd she find out that you hooked up with another? Somebody else I told That's a trick or a dude a chick hold on all right first. Oh, yeah, you took my mic. Yeah, this is crazy If you Stop giving him an ounce

No, no, no, no, no, I need to do what I had it out on this show you got it Oh, yeah, I've all done it Yeah, that was your on our side good. So you have not cheated no, but you know I've done to break up He didn't cheat you didn't fucking cheat. Okay. He will definitely watch it. That was very soon to hook up with somebody. But she got mad at me.

She blocked me on Facebook. Blocked my number. Blocked me on Twitter. You're a girl, you're emailing. Yeah, my girlfriend. We were emailing and she's rational. She was like, I'm gonna go at him. I'm gonna fuck a bunch of guys.

Oh, she said that? Yeah, yeah. You are so justifying. Yeah, she gave you an help. That's good. You are so justifying. Go and tick it. Okay, so I'm kind of like, I think, but now she's, she's really, like, I didn't mean Yeah So just Just a fun Okay, so I'm I didn't mean that

So One of these satin island bitches are crazy I don't know a fucking bitch who isn't crazy Now bitches all be crazy I'm waiting to find the chick who isn't fucking nuts What do you mean? That's crazy I'm waiting to find the chick who isn't fucking nuts. What do you mean? That's crazy.

No, it's crazy. No, it's crazy. My mother, my girlfriend, I'm in a rush. I'm in a rush. There you go. Well, you know more. You know all the people. What qualifies as crazy?

Crazy attracts crazy, I guess, right? Yeah, I think any girl that's dating you is crazy. This is what I want to be a black man. They just know. Yeah, it's easy for them out there that i'm in the shape of too long black men anyway so we have this conversation before so i want to repeat too much

but you've told me you've been hit by a hundred percent of the women you've ever have really hundred percent By 100% the women you've ever 100% and I have seven hands that I've ever dated have hit me at one point Zero percent so you two fucking my 60 or 80 60 or 80 I'm on a zero with you You're a zero percent. You got we have glasses. I know you can't Fucking phases. I mean you it's not brown. You're nerdy. You're nerdy fucking guys. I'm half a dogs with If you asked me did they ever get to the point where a girl had to hit them? I'd be like probably not yeah you guys get sued

You got sued face. I got not get hit by women like what the fuck it? Why don't I defend this? by women like what the fuck it why not defend this yeah yeah my my yeah but we have a time-out at the table of the hip-hop

time-out we have a we-fog baby hold on that's what we got to try baby

I fuck Mark was probably hit when he was 13 by some New Orleans drunk on the heels I got hit like two weeks ago who hit you? What was the story? Judy Gold? Oh, but you're like, but you also like, you bike women

that you don't even know. That's true. Yeah, like you're a fucking lunatic. You're a crazy person and he's, but I've heard it. I want to three of the five guys at the table have been fucking hit by checks. Great.

Shut the fuck up, Deepu. If three of the five guys at the table have been hip-hop checks, then you're wrong. No, no, but we have a minority guys here. These are, you guys are animals. You have hard drinking, hard trash talking. Mark calls women cunts for fun. And you're a Puerto Rican, and he's a fucking guinea maniac from Arizona.

Well, my professional pretend like she's gonna put her finger in my ass. I think that's like psychologically. Well, did you got a hitter? I mean, that's... You got a pretty good hitter? I know, I mean, probably. That's different.

Did you get hit by an chick before? He overed you. I'll be four and a six. You been hit? Yeah. Dave over there. Dave, stay over. Hold on, I have one on the side.

Dave, did you get hit? Yeah, my girlfriend, Emi and the balls. Five and a seven. What did you do to her? I was trying to block her from walking away from the conversation. What was the conversation? We were fighting.

What were you fighting about? She was cut your hair, Faggot. She thinks scope was funny. Huge fight. By the way, Mark Norman hit on my girlfriend last year, which was a big pinnacle moment for me. Whoa. Wow.

You didn't know that? No, a big Pinocchio moment for you. You didn't know that we were dating but when she told me you hit on her I was I was kind of like honored. Oh, it's a welcome. Is she not? Yeah, what yeah, she's real. Let me see a picture How did I do it by the way? What was my move? Finger The row guy on festival and you're like a most beautiful girl they're seeing oh The roof he didn't work She seems like a nice lady Riffy subcommittee. I'll show you a photo Yeah, please I want to remember this. Yeah, I'm pretty Courtney. I'll leave a bit hit close to getting hit

What's the this the fiercest battle you've ever been in? I mean I've been in some fears No, you know what? Oh, you've been in a bagel, there we go. But this is crazy. Everybody but Joe. This is me literally, all the women I've dated have an updated one really crazy girl. She was homeless and on drugs.

And I was, I was, I was, well, maybe you know what? She probably didn't hit me because she was so, never hit you with a bag of cans. No, no, no, she wasn't that kind of home. She was like a gutter punk kind of home. Oh, what about a show? What about a show? Oh, show you.

No, I mean, I really women don't don't know. Hold on, what's that? We got two things going on at one. I wonder I had to hit on her. That's unbelievable. Let's get back to your gutter punk in a second. Lewis has to look at this girl here. Let's see, she's fucking hot right there.

All right, well, we're looking at photos on radio here. What, he's photoshopped the whole thing. Why would you show us, look at the other photos. Here's how hot, hold on, let me show you this. This is how hot this chick is, okay? You know when you go to show your chick, to people you'll swipe through all the photos to find a good one to show off like how hot your chick is,

he swiped through to find just a fuck, he downplayed it, because there's bikini shots of her that are smoking it's possible He didn't want you to see bikini pics. I know No, I think that's fine. That's what she does. Oh, she's a bikini person. She's a model. Oh, wow I had to do it. How tall are you? Wow, you look a lot taller sitting down because I'm six foot one. Oh, yeah, I would have assumed you're away taller Louis do you still have a high-dish? You wish you a taller? Oh, I would have assumed you're a way taller. Louis, do you still have high-dish years? Do you wish you a taller? Always. Do you wish you were a baller? Yes. Do you wish you had a girl who look good? Would you call her? I got one, I call her.

She had a rabbit in the hat and a six-four-poller. Most of the east-western rabbit, right? Yeah. Let's get back on track. We're cooking. You take a photo out. It's all over. Yeah, righty photo. Run whole thing. What are we doing about was can I talk more about your thing or we're gonna get back But you're talking about a gutter trash woman that hit you. Oh, well no, it was like me and what do we do? Like she was I don't think oh she did hit me. She hit me Forgot she This is like you say all women are crazy this woman is crazy I mean she's a junkie who lived on the streets

Man, that's a crazy person. Why'd you date her? What about be it? She had funny. I'm good. Hot funny Yeah, I can't talk anything about my relationship with B. I'm not allowed to all right. Yeah Yes, she said a hundred percent. I'm sorry. Mike did this open I will say 100% of the women that I've ever dated hit me great mic did that this day and hit you when she found out uh... now you know it's a good job we were one job i don't mean to coo this uh... interview up that you already did by looking at photos on radio

all these shows are watching videos on the radio no we're not we just spend a moment talking about how hot she was and we had a little funny moment about how we showed us a picture without a bikini she's in a bikini we talked about it was funny joe it was a moment talking about how hot she was and we had a little funny moment about how he showed us a picture without a bikini. She's in a bikini. We talked about it. It was funny, Joe. It was a moment. I think you're the only one that said it's funny so far and it happened in the middle of a gutter punk story. Let's go do real. I'm funny moment. I'm trying to. Joe, Joe wants to live in the moment. He's going. He said, he said, I'm going to cool the show right now. Sorry, I'm killing

That was horrific Mike tell us about this damn did she hit you She didn't have me, but she just got real mad and she was like but she didn't say anything She was just like shaking. Oh shaking is bad But you were on a break especially with a baby. Oh, we were on a break for like a day And she did but it was her saying that thing. That's that's what you thought But did you could you pursue a great did you pursue it was this someone you knew you could go with anyone after it or just like you happen to go out that someone already feeling me I had a feeling you know I

had to I hadn't fucking great it was it was late at night I was like I come over you know and all right here's what's like evil though this girl that I hooked up with invite a my girlfriend to her bar and like hung out with her. That's evil. That's evil. That's it. That's sick. So she's fucking, so she's crazy good. She's got some problems.

Pretty hot. That's a sick one. It's not like it wasn't worth it. She's not like it, not that hot. But she's hanging out with my girlfriend for like four hours. Oh, what? Emails me the next day and goes, where were you last night? Or where were you on Saturday night?

Who's house were you at? Oh. And she read you, she read you up directly. She didn't rat me out, but she had my girlfriend had a feeling because she's hanging out with this girl. So who would you have that's evil to hang out? Man, that's the girl. I was a comic. No, but she had a feeling that it that you know, it had happened, right? So for how was it hanging out with her? Are these friends? The questions? Not really. She's like asking her questions about me and stuff. So look at the script.

And I swore up and down that I didn't do it. And then about a month later, she found out that I had a month later. I'm surprised we're together. I mean, she's an idiot for taking me back. No. And we have the cares about you. I'm talking about it on this will help.

Yeah. Let me get the timeline right. So you're dating this girl for a while. This is a serious relationship. You've traveled and everything. How long have you been dating for? About a year and a half. A year and a half, which is a long time.

So a month ago we broke up for a day. So you break up for a day the next day you call a girl that she knows. Sure, yeah. Is this chick a comic that you called? Sure. Yes. You call?

Wow. Can you tell me, Kelly, tell me who it is in my ear? It's in my ear. I want that to be my reaction. It's Paul Pound them to see my reactions. It's Paul Poundstone. You call the girl. You call the girl.

And then you end up hookin' up, you fuck. Then the next day, a couple days later, she calls your girlfriend. And goes, we should hang. Do you or do you use a rubber with her? No! I'm gonna catch up! I mean, none of us have one of them. We got a jug. We got a jug. You got a jug. Oh I mean What's the fuck is wrong? You're playing Nintendo and I need dinner

Wow, so you work on it. That's gross Those things are so uncomfortable what a widow so okay, so you fucked this shit so she I'm hosting the show Lewis and I'm doing a fine job You're the quick guy, so that was Saturday night. So Monday. She's bugging me. What'd you do on Saturday? I'm like nothing she's like she calls me She's like did you hook up with this girl and I tried to say yes and she started freaking out So I was like uh, no I didn't and she was like what why'd you say yes? And I was like because I don't like being accused of stuff

that I'm not doing. Which is really kind of the probably the smartest thing I'll ever do. That's like that scene in Royal Tenenbombs. You were seeing Royal Tenenbombs? Yeah, about my heart. Where he tells her he's dying of cancer. And she starts bawling and he's like, I'm just kidding.

And then she's like, why would you say that? He's like, I am dying of cancer. He kept going back and forth. You're Royal Tenenbombs. Look, is their reaction like throws you off? You know, they start freaking out and screaming and stuff. So I swear I was like, no, I didn't do it. I didn't do it.

And then a month after that, then she found out. So how do you know what? So this person that told her, it was a chick comic. The person that... They're routed you out. Yeah, the person that routed me, I was just somebody. Was it a comic? No.

Was it a female? Yeah, just a friend of mine. Of course it's a fucking... Why do you do this battle to sex? It's not a battle to sex it because I no was it a female yeah just a friend of course it's a fucking why is everything do this battle this is not about all this because I do it because I do it could do that if he's trying to get it trying to put his dick in your girlfriend yeah or if he's friends with the girl first but here's the thing about this but this girl didn't know her that's there's no more time out the rat I'm talking about the rat. I'm talking about the rat. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. But the rat didn't know her if the rat say that's evil. The rat doesn't know your girlfriend She the rat is in love with you look. No, she loves drama. There's two wait

Why the rats? Okay, the first one is the one who invited my girlfriend to hang out with her Not that's I mean that's like so you fucked a rat without a rubber out with that. I mean that's like so you fucked a wrap without a rubber. Without a rubber. There you go. So hold on. So but here's if someone rats somebody out for cheating that person to me is almost always depending on the situation invariably an asshole because you're bringing pain to the person to make yourself feel better. You're trying to be this big person but what you're actually doing is delivering a fucking painful message. That's gonna fuck with the person. I love it.

I'm gonna step in and say something here. If you have a side girlfriend, it's one thing to'd be like, hey, this guy's got a girlfriend He's not treating you, but if you just had a one night stand you fuck someone and then this person goes in and goes, hey He fucked this one person. You're delivering horrible heart-breaking news this person to make yourself Yeah, but wouldn't you want? Wouldn't you want a friend to tell you if they knew? A friend is a different story and she's not friends with her. That's what I'm saying. I mean if my girlfriend fucks Somebody and one of you guys knew about it I maybe I don't know I guess that's crazy

I would I would tell you I would I would fuck you tell you so fast and then I would fucking we would get together We jumped the guy that fuck Sarah. Yeah, let's find a good guy. We can do it. You go down dance order. Yeah Wait, that's yours That's a big head. Yeah, that's crazy. So she didn't know, so what was the girl's reason? What is your relationship to the girl that ratted you out? Rat girl. Yeah, I don't want to get it.

You don't want to get it to the relationship with the rat. You can talk about your own relationship, but you're not a rat. No, she was a friend. She was. She's so many different. Told too much to him. Now, what was your motivation about telling this person?

I don't know. Trying to fuck you. You must have had a thing for her. Friend, if it was good to talk it out. Yeah, right. Man, that sucks. So how long after you broke the news and you let it out, the cat of the bed or the rat in this case,

the pussy out of the bed. There you go. How long was the recovery time? How long was she mad at you before? Maybe like a couple, maybe like a week. I'm sure there's still some of the course there is there is oh yeah you you you fuck up the foundation completely like that building will crumble at any moment did she do the the uh... any Murphy was any more fit better something like now she gets dick that good food is it

the back yeah it's a rock that is a pre-pass for dick she told me she was gonna she's like i'm gonna go out and fuck two guys at some point my two that's not fair yeah wow, wow at the same time. It's not fair Like sir, but you love her and she seems sweet. She took you back. She's very supportive. She's a beautiful gal Great it's really you know, but you know what also now you can just start fucking around behind her back and feel kind of guilt Free about it because they already you're already the big Yeah, you broke the seal while I didn't get away with it I think you should take this opportunity to the grow you know yeah to feel to gain the the wisdom if I

could stop being Italian yeah being how did she tell your girlfriend what was the method sky writing I think she reached out to her from phone and email stuff. Wow. Boy, and she just ratted you the fuck out. Yeah, that was it. Now we were together. What was her releasing watch? I think my girlfriend reached out to her. And why did she? She didn't want to lie to you. And you accepted that answer? And did you say, bitch, I'm going to fucking beat you to death with a second. Yeah, you go after her at all? A little bit, but boy, oh boy. Well, I'm sorry that you had to go through there.

We work it out on the pod. Yeah. I mean, do you have any incriminating evidence on the girl who ratted you out? Because that's my whole thing. At any time I have anything with the check, like either we'll keep naked pictures of her or I'll just do something so I can have that

to hold over her head later on But she's not crazy though, right girls are crazy But also if you try to hurt that person you're just propelling you're just keeping it going, you know Yeah, you want to swash it. Yeah, the bigger person end it. You know, you want to swash it from lack of a better term swash sticker Swash sticker. Yeah, that's what I was going for but I said swash sticker come on guys I saw this movie called denial have you heard about it it's about this holocaust denial who gets into this big loss I saw the trailer unbelievably underwhelming not good yeah not really not good what a great story what I thought it'd spark it up a little bit you know so we get some

holocaust hot going move on from this stuff. Yeah, so thin. Get something a little sillier than cheating, you know. So do you think if you cheat, you're saying the foundation is crumbled forever, you think it's ruined? I think it's really, I think it's really hard to get caught. Yeah. That's not technically cheating. He wouldn't technically cheat. And I agree, by the way, I completely agree. That's true. That, like, like, she also did kind of like she said I'm gonna go out I'm gonna fuck a bunch of guys I'm gonna send she said she was gonna send me videos and she said black guys No, but she should it would have hurt me good would her tomorrow right listen to me if she sent you videos She said you videos that's it like wouldn't you just forward them to her father?

That's the my first reaction I'm just gonna for this to everybody that we know I'm like all right have fun with that you moron I don't think they're falling low with somebody else. You'll be fine. No, I think you're fine I think you'd be fine and you can work through it people works through stuff all the time I mean you know, well that works through another way to look at is that the cheating isn't wouldn't be the end of the world for me It'd be the end of the fuck world, But, but it gave you that out, man. It's been, you guys are in a, in a, in a weird gray area. I think, I think you can recover from this.

It's been talked about often and it's like, uh, uh, probably a hacky premise at this point, but cheating is so much different for man to who would, man cheating sexually. I mean, nothing is one of the fuck. Yeah. Like a guy a thousand times in my life, I've told people I have to go take a shit, so I can go jerk off in the bathroom, and I pretended to shit. I got to rub one out.

For a girl, take your girl. No girl. Someone inside of you. Yeah, inside your body. No girl ever goes. I'm going to take a dump and then wails one off. Yeah, right. Right, Laura, have you ever snuck away

to a mastermate? Not recently, but. So we end your life. But have you ever seen, because it was that episode of Girls, it was sexy. But have you ever just looked at a guy talk to a guy like Dave's a very sexy man over there. He's not you ever see up man He's he's like the I think I think everyone's better looking in the room except for Joe list Louis even Louis. Yeah, Louis a handsome guy. He's not about looking guy It's not this conversation while he has earmuffs on you gotta reveal those ears. We're gonna play

Thank you. Louis in the face. We know Captain America. What? Oh, thank you. It looks like it's a Comin' to that guy that guy stealing all these all these Jewish comedians. He looks like Dr. American BDS. He's stealing all these Jewish comedian female comedians from their boyfriends. Oh really? Yeah, yeah nice Captain America's wait. Oh, yeah, I like that guy play and another dude Lewis great Digression and now you're on your phone. Can I get back to asking Lauren if she's ever masturbated to a man Yeah, we've digress into whose handsome or Louis cats are micro scene If they coasting 11 shows you get a little better at hosting We'll see handsome is the scam account chance him. Yeah, he's handsome. He's not my type

Uh-huh is he the least handsome in the room like I said to you type like Jerry's the alpha dog Mike don't try to get laid right after we talked about cheating Also, that's a great way to tell someone they're ugly. He's very sexy. Just not my type Amazing look everyone's good looking. I don someone they're ugly. He's very sexy, just not my type. Yeah, it ain't gonna be true. Amazing look, everyone's good looking. I don't play this game, but. Everyone's good looking. That's not true. That's not true.

Everybody's good looking. Everyone's got their own little twinkle, but yeah, no. Twinkle? I like it, which is. I got a pretty nice twinkle. Yeah, it's covered in herpes. It is.

So have you ever seen a guy, you have a chat with a guy, you have a conversation, he's wearing tight pants or whatever the hell a guy does and then you just you have to go to the bathroom Or do you better into jerk off so you can function in society? No, but I have masturbated to like you know celebrity crushes Yeah, oh really, but not like you meet a guy you chat and then later that night you're like I'm gonna Mass a day That's a nice option for a woman, but then you were kind of saying, I think part of your thing was saying the hacking premise was that a woman will have an affair, but a guy would just fuck one on one time.

Which of Prano's cast member gets you all high? He's junior. Which one is that again? I guess I have your pasta talk later on. Is he the one from the Bronx tail? He's the one that got shot. Nice. He dated Metta when they died.

They died. Oh, spoiler. Yeah. Oh, spoiler. Yeah. Yeah. You got to stop holding your stare a second too long at Lauren. It's a little much. I've caught you three times already. Yeah, and if you fucker, don't tell that chick, like an idiot.

Don't tell anybody. The rule is when you cheat, do it on the road, tell them nobody. No paper trail. The chick has to know you have a girlfriend. Can't be Facebook friends. Yeah follow me on Twitter Boom done and done no condom I've heard you read a book on how to cheat. Yeah Wait, what was I was gonna ask you something? What was the hell we talking? Oh, yeah, you were saying I was saying I'm the idea that women only have affairs and what to do

Do they just go out and like have one-night stands stands i think women might be down for the whole night stands to yeah they are they are just i fucked on the road that were married and there was a gun to fuck this comic on the road i'm not saying they let you come in them to i'm not saying girls that one night stand i'm saying sex generally is more of a a need for a man

i i think generally it's true that men have uh... higher libido see that i mean no but I think that I think right now, especially the way we're encouraging women to be more sexual and explore their sexuality I love it. Like there's a lot. Yeah, I mean women are just like down to fuck and there there's no strings attached and that's kind of like Porn is like feminist mantra that they have right now. You're like, all right, cool. Right. We're not gonna love. I'm not disagreeing, but you talk about this a lot. The second you're digging about bathroom is running a new world. I'm taking a ground round. You talking ground, I was thinking ground zero.

When you said that, it was like not a good date spot. When you talk about this a lot, which is one of the reasons I think that you're smart kind of, but sometimes I think I'm wrong about that. But you talk about, like what do you call it? Evolutionary, a man evolutionary is fucking function functions to stick is he i got to blow my load and continue human a woman is to like i have to choose a man that will take care so that yeah evolutionarily

a woman is trying to find a mate and the guys i think i want to be with you know what monkeys and women want to be fucking protected and we can provide for protection whether it's somebody being rich or funny or charming or articulate those are all signs of them being able to protect them and take care of them and I think from an evolutionary standpoint women are seeking that out. But if you look at it that way and like it's linear it means that men are like not even necessary anymore.

It means we're totally on the next day. That's why we have to be funny. Are you ever on the road and you have someone like kind of throw it at you and then you don't fuck her You feel like you you wasted a whole opportunity. I totally know what you mean You just feel like I'm a I'm a I'm not a man because I didn't fuck this girl No, I don't have that when you when you try and she does when she when she kind of throws it at you and then you end up not doing it But if you like that feeling that I could have. Yes, exactly. You could use your power. But I want the validation.

If I get her to text me, come over and fuck me. I'm okay with that. Even if I can't, or even if I don't want to. If I just get the validation that she wants me to fuck her, I'm 100% in, that's kind of enough half the time. Like if I'm under the mood. Also, being a man could be loyal to your girlfriend that loves you and is loyal to you.

You could look at it that way. That could be loyal. And that might result in and is loyal to you. You could look at it that way. That could be loyal. And that might result in you not getting hit by every fucking woman you meet. You two fucking jackals. There you go. Jackals. So how is your fantasy football season going?

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Only at DraftKings.com, eligibility restrictions may apply. C-Site for details. A hundred percent of my guests are on their phone. Mark, I felt the vibe there. You kind of lean back. I feel like you don't feel like you're performing well or you're upset, you're sad. Oh, what do you want to talk about?

What do you want to get in there? I think all the cheating stuff really got me and it brought me back to a bad time. Yeah, you were with a girl for 14 years and it got to a point where you were cheating pretty openly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, talking about it and it just got, you know, I wanted it to end subconsciously and I think 14 years. Yeah, how old are you? That's a rape sentence. I'm 33. So it was like off and on, but still. Wow. Yeah, it was ugly because I remember from from when from what age what age were you dating? You know 16 and then I we broke up when I was like 30 Wow

But it was off in on moments. What do you mean openly cheating like I'm gonna go fuck this girl like how open? Not open to her like at places that she would hang out a cabin you'd be Girl I remember telling you I remember calling you and saying there was like a group of comedian girls being like, Adam, Mark was fucking this girl, he fucks that girl, I have calling you and be like, this bunch of people talking about this. Right, right, that freaked me out. So we got out there. They got out. But you didn't mind, because you just wanted out or what?

I just stopped giving a fuck. But it's so hard to pull the trigger to break up. That's what it was. And this was funny when you stopped giving a fuck, they start giving a fuck more. Yeah. They fucking make it more. They get more. Why is it they try harder?

Yeah. You gotta cut ties completely. It's gonna fucking do it. Now, if you tried making amends with the girl, you call her. We're great. But you're great. But did you actually say,

I'm really sorry, I'm really, I like it all hit me. Like I had a wave of guilt one day. I was just sitting at home and I just called her. And I was like, You putting put in cream on your dick? Yeah, right. And we're good now. She was like, yeah, you kind of ruined my life

a little bit and blah, blah, blah. It's so different to them, because I got that email too. She was like, this is somebody's life that you're fucking with and you're a monster. But you said, I was talking about it, bummed you out a little bit. So this must still be a feeling of,

I feel bad, I feel bad about it still, but I'm over it. Do you do you think were you just not happy in relationship? Or do you think like monogamy's not for you? It's boy. I tell you I struggle with that daily. I don't know. I don't know. Monogamy seems insane It's insane. It seems insane. It's hard for you because you can get laid you're very charming your handsome guy You can get laid and you're always you've always gotten laid your're good at it plus always. Yeah, I know that thing Mike was talking about We're like if I pass it up. I feel like what a wasted life. I only own life for one you get one life Like I got to live it up. Got to do every fun thing. I don't it's crazy

It's like some I hand you a 20 and not taking it because I think it's like that the Albert Brooks movie with the judgment city You know what's it depending your life great? I've I imagine that you go up there and you like they're reviewing your life Like there's all these times you could have gotten laid. Yeah You miss out on you feel like that like you're reviewing tape and it's like you you missed it you missed it And I got a big I got a big uh cock ego miss we you nipples miss we you can't have kind of thing What we can't have yeah, yeah, I got that real bad, you know So when you're like we're going on the movies. I'm like great Then I'm at the movie. I'm like could be done doing something else and I'm like like, shit, or I'm like, I missed the movie, fuck, I can't,

I can't be happy with it. But that's the thing, when we were talking about this earlier with work, you work harder than anyone I know in my opinion, but you also, and I feel, guilt because I'm like, I'm watching movies over here, like we talked about, I go to the park, I'm watching movies, but you spend a lot of time trying to fuck. Yeah, I got a lot of, I drink a lot,

I drink a lot, I go on dates a lot, yeah. That's really, to me, going on like dates, I can, I think I sort of money because I have a lot of dates. Go on dates a lot, yeah. That's really good. Going on like dates, I think I sort of money because I have a kid, but it's the idea of like spending money, like it's like minimum $100. You going out? No. To go out? We're not going to fucking wait.

You go on real. To get dinner with a chicken, have a couple of drinks? Dinner. And a couple of times you get drinks. He's getting drinks, man. Dinner doesn't have to go on a day happy hour. You make sure expensive flowers Just for flowers Yeah, what do you talk about dinner and a bow tie?

Yeah, the most expensive things the morning after pill That's the money Yeah Yeah, you guys should fuck why not you're both single yeah, she's got emotions You got a flowing hair first of all one would 150 percent fuck Mark Norman Not gonna happen. Yeah, well she didn't deny that she would she was like I would but it's not gonna happen Is it a career choice to not do it? Are you stand up do you stand up? Yeah?

Come on she does stand up like Louis does stand up right What are you getting sets? What's going on? Yeah, what's going on? I haven't seen you out there. Well, I haven't been in New York most of the year. I just came back from a tour in China. I was in China.

Hey! Wow. Yeah, gaining knowledge, getting smarter than all of us. Yeah, I don't know if I can acknowledge it. China. Bunch of. Racine. I tell you how they talk over there.

Racine's ears are literally breaking off the fucking hands. They're pushing back. But I haven't been in New York most of the year. I'm not talking about that. Racines ears are literally breaking off the fucking cans. They're pushing back. No, but I haven't been in New York for most of the year. I was here for a riding gig, and besides that, I was in different cities. I lived in New Orleans for like six weeks. I posted up in San Francisco and just worked on new...

Posted it up. Sorry. You must have posted up in LA for a while. You'd be talking like that too. I'm sorry. I know being from Boston, you're only allowed to speak like the strictest of white, but I use some slang terms and I

Yeah, dog. Yeah, I'll post up bro. I'm with Louis today. Yeah, I'm on team fucking Louis. You posting up, bro. I'm posting up my nigga Louis. Jesus that was micro scene that said that What about Michael Chase? Say nigga on S&L. You know who wrote that? What about Michael Chase, say, Nigger on S&L? You know who wrote that? Michael, Joe, Michael, right now. But he actually wrote Nigger in it. Yeah, yeah. Really. Dude, it's first big joke on.

So why? That's his fake controversy. It's totally, nobody cares. No one cares on any side about it. A black guy saying Nigger. Let's talk about this. Let's talk about this. All the race stuff, that's Bogue, who cares?

Let's talk about clowns. Can we get it in the cloud? You have a kid this clowns all over South Carolina and and New Jersey by your house Lauren two towns over What's going on with clowns? Did you go clown hunting? No, but apparently two towns fucking over I wake up in the middle of the night last night to a bang on my window rubbing your pussy Yeah up all night with a dillow. Oh, that's a big shoe But like now petrified. I bet. Break it out. You're sure you get raped by fucking clown.

Mark lives in the village. There's no clowns over there. Come on. Bye. You know, why does these clowns are raping? They're raping the murder. Oh, they raping the clowns. I can't stop. A clown rapes isn't even that bad. That's hilarious. You think about it. He pulls a bunch of shits. Yeah, he pulls hangar jiffs out of your twine. All right, Amy Schumer did it and somebody else did it before. That's hilarious. You think about it. He pulls a bunch of anchor chips. Yeah, he pulls hangar chips out of your toilet. All right Amy Schumer did it and somebody else did it before.

I didn't know that. That was quite controversial. That was a whole big controversy. That was the joke. If I woke up and I looked peered out my window and I saw fucking clown standing there, I would ship my nails. Well clowns fucking each other? Yeah, me too.

It's crazy. No, it's scary, but what's the raping? Are they raping? I thought they were just trying to get your own nords. Oh, they aren't? Yeah. What's the swords part? I doning? I thought they were just trying to get you on the other side. What's the swords part? I don't know. Didn't rape anybody.

They rape swords. What are they, UCB clowns? It's like the duke lacrosse team all over again. They didn't rape nobody, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're defending the clowns. Yeah, I defend the clowns. But you have a child.

What if a clown grabbed James and took on a birthday party? And rape him? No, just wait. I never the rape. What's the rape all about for God's sake? Raid and race. That's, it's a hacky. Those are the two topics.

Racist hack. It's hack. What? Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Alright, you're right, clowns are the new race. They are. They are race.

White face is the new black face. It's a tiny car race. A lot of people in there. Louis Katz with the only joke of the segment so far. What do you mean there's been a couple of youth said things? I know. I had one on big feet. Yeah, I liked the big feet.

We did the Schumer bit. That was fun. So what do you, I thought you were pulling something up there. What do they do? They're hiding in the woods and chasing children. They're trying to navigate. They're just scaring people, though. They're not actually committing any crimes scaring people's not a crime You can't run after someone with a sword. That's a crime. Is that a crime? That's a threat. It should be a What if you have the sword and you have it at your side? You're not even in a striking position and you start running towards somebody

Let me ask you this. Are you a clown? Lewis, but you're one of these clowns? No, I'm not defending them so hard. No, it's scary. Look how scary they are. I know, dude. Look at that guy. Wow, look at the little joke you pull back. That's not, that's a clown from a movie. Oh, look at the clowns. Don't they just like stand there?

Yeah, they just stand around and creep people out. That's R.E. Shafir. It's like it. Yes. We all float down here at JoAji. Now, if scaring people is illegal, isn't illegal. I don't think it's illegal to scare people. No.

Oh, what? All right. That's how Louie can walk around legal with his nose exposed. Hey! It's pointy. Big. I wanted to do ears, but I felt like I did too many ear jails. Oh, ears, yeah.

You know, Joe? Yeah. This is why no girls have hit you Well, I'm trying to host. I mean normally I'd be a lot funny, but I'm kind of running the reins here Yeah, I'm trying to battle back from your dumb coops Coopie that was fun. Thanks Lauren they committed any crimes. I'm hosting A lot of it's mischief and a hoax Nothing so there's nothing to be afraid of

You know what mischief and hoax sounds one step away from pranks and those I hate these fucking pranks Everyone's doing one prank one says one step away from rape No pranks are rape dude. Yes, I'm a jokeers Dude that out there that's out there Oh, it is you heard it here first folks. We just kiss Lawrence to kiss on air Kiss on it What gave you I'll block the camera when I 30s. What are we getting at? God I'm getting a bone. That's what I'm getting

I'm getting a bonus. That's what I'm getting. This camera is on. It'll be good for you. It's on air. Good video. No, I blocked the camera. And just get like a three Mississippi kiss. All right, how about it? We'll do no tongue now. And then tongue at the end of the show. I got it.

If you kiss it, Mark, Lewis and Louis will kiss. No, hold on. She's already said yes basically. And he knew you wouldn't have to push her into the... Deep blue, you sit on Mike's face. And I'll blow Dave. Can we get a fan on Dave? I want to see that hair move. A fan on a fan.

Great. And a hair you got there. Okay, make out with the first second. For the show, Lauren. It's just a pleasure. It's weird now. It's weird that we're all... We all are all becoming like, in a moment like this I go back to being a teenager because this is that exact moment

Where she wants to make out with more? And yes you do shut the fuck up the way you're saying it you 100% not only want to but you're going to So you know Hold on let's go Why did you make out with Mark Nermies never come out it as fucking show? Now, they're gonna be shoving food into his face at that time. It'll be worth it, not to come back. Yeah, if the only problem is that Bobby won't have Mark back on, let's get after it here.

Yeah. You guys need to learn how to live. Lou, what a living baby. Yeah, I don't know. Let's see who has the biggest nipples in the room. How about that? Definitely. I have really small nipples.

No, I have really, really tiny, tiny little, I think it's me. I think it's me. It's gotta be Mike. Let me see how he pep a room. How about that? I have really small nipple. No, I have really really tiny tight little I think it's it's got to be Mike Let me see You have a tiny is your say it's where I bet you were seeing a big old fat nipple I got a lot of me. Yeah, I just look at them. Look at this fucking face But you have amazing arms Mike. You might have the best arms and the Crazy dude you nuts. It's a Fatty. I'm not a decent try. No, he's ripped there. We're okay. All right. He's pretty raced

It's like a mess though. Yeah, you got bits to yeah, I got tips since I was 10 pull this shirt up Puppie. Let's see the nipples get it on camera though Come on everyone. Let's get a little shock shock radio keep the ears hidden You're gonna talk about you're gonna talk about cheating, but not your nipples. Yeah, I did cheat All right, you're lifting it up for God's sakes. You started to getting weird Starting to do it. All right Lauren give Mike a blowbelly Blowbelly He doesn't want to show us

That's not a bad nipple. It looks like you are filled with milk. Oh, these nipples. They're cute. My nipples look like deep-roos. I got the smallest nipples. Let's see the cheerio nipples. There is no way smart in that. These are the smallest nipples.

Those are small for size. These are nice nipples. Oh my god. What is that? I think the tiniest nipples I've ever seen on this place. These are small nipples. Let's see your nipples. Mark, I can't do it.

Oh! You're shirtless online all the time. I'm feeling comfortable with the nudity. What? You're not nudist to nipple. All right, we'll get back to you. Laura, let's see the nipples. I got pierced nips.

It's weird. Wait, is this trick not going to work? No. All right. All right. What if we touch nips? Oh, that's not bad. Over shirt.

No, not over shirt. Oh, come on. I touch nips with you every time we hide. I don't know what you want to make out with Mark. Because I don't know. Because it's fun, and she not over shirt. No, not over shirt. Come on. I touch nips with you every time we hide. I don't you want to make out with Mark Cuz it's fun and she might enjoy it. Yeah, I like it. That's not fair. It's like girl code bullshit. You have to do that Oh, it's great show. That's not great radio Those nipples are insane. Have you ever had yourself conscious about your nipples? I know you're hiding obviously I'm not even self-conjured by my physical body the only thing I'm so conscious about is my ass hole specifically I

Know I'm I like my act. I'm happy. Well dirty. I like your out my listen to it. Thank you balls could talk great name Thank you. Yes, good name. You're views balls guitar. Oh, whatever Appreciate it, but I'm not I'm really not self-conscious about my body or anything about it I probably should be but I'm just not you look great. You're very compact I think it's nice when I was a kid all the the little guys they were cooler like they were like the Like it looked cool because they were little I was Lanky. No, I had long That's in your head. Yeah totally maybe you're right, but I was always Lanky No one ever thinks of me as like tall. They think of me as lanky and goo,

like, boom, boom, boom. They're still tall. That's tall. I think big tall is just, it's a huge advantage in this country. It's a superior, yeah. It's really, it's not if you're tall like Joe as though. Not if you're tall, lanky.

I agree with you. I agree with you. You can work out or put some meat on, I feel it. I look great. My torso is pretty, I got pretty ripped right now. No. I am. You also, no matter how ripped you get get you're always gonna look like a skinny nerd

Whoo damn that's not true. I was harsh. You're fat and brown But you know what I'm saying like you have a skinny nerd look like you could fuck no I know it's a bummer because I'm not a nerd. I have no nerd quality I know it's a bummer because I'm not a nerd. I have no nerd quality. Yeah, you know, you're not that smart. Like people, I know people think that I'm a chess player that like star wars and wrestling. I hate wrestling.

I don't like star wars. I was a terrible student. Sci-fi, I can't stay. I love sports, you're alcoholic. Scorsese, alcoholic. I got laid. I'm obsessed with pussy. I'm not obsessed with pussy, but I like getting laid.

You're good socially? I'm pretty good socially, yeah. Yeah, you are, yeah, you're better. I'm most in the show. I got a lot of friends. A lot of friends never had a problem making friends. But I got an overbiting bad teeth and a big forehead and glasses and I'm skinny and a high waist.

I can go on. Is that true? No. All right, gee. Have you gone with the nerd act, you think? Have you leaned towards a nerd in your act over the years just like to do any nerdy jokes i mean i am insecure that's a real thing that i'm talking about and i'm anxious

but those aren't i guess those are kind of nerd qualities because it's like being the fact committee who has a bad jokes right now but i'm not a nerd so i would be really i did nerd i have to come out and be like hey i like i don't i don't know anything about these nerd like dungeon dragons that silly the way you look on stage is working or not it's it's complimenting your act one way the other way that you playing into it or not you know what i mean like like well i kind of have a similar thing where i look very nerdy but i don't talk about maybe it's some of some smart references but no you're post your shit up there I'm sorry I'm using these words that are people at home who is wearing a backwards bandana is that even a no it's not it's got a

radio on his shoulder back to the FA you can start backwards bandana was never a thing I was too far yeah we talk about slaves slaves house slaves yeah they would wear the backwards bandana I was thinking about it to a hip-. I was too about slaves slaves house slaves. Yeah, they would have the backwards man. Dan and I was thinking about it. I was talking hip hop. I see. All right. Louis, what are you saying? You look like a I'm just saying that it's like I don't think I play into it one of the other, but it's what I've been told before is that like what I talk about sometimes contrast with how I look. So it works whether you address it or not or play into it or not, who you what you look like on stage versus what you talk about is part of the act. Like Vekioan for example, like the opposite of what we're

talking about, right? He looks like a meathead, but he's super smart. What we're seeing is a perfect example. He comes out and you go, yeah, that's that guy. Yeah, right? Tell you think? Yeah, probably. You got what his act matches his like working. That's what we're saying. Oh, you are. Yeah, right? Do you think? Yeah, probably. You got, but his act matches his like working in the same. That's what we're saying. Oh, you are. Oh, yeah. We're saying that. Well, I think he's saying the opposite. He's saying, I mean, I, that's why I say, that's why he's back. He own is a better example.

But I was like, you're late. He need to wash your ass. I do have that's a track nine on if these balls could tell. What do you think's wrong with your asshole? What are you talking about? It looks very fucked up. It's kind of a skydish. What do you know? Some assholes are beautiful. My assholes fucked up looking.

Why have you looked at your assholes? I've never looked at your assholes. I don't know what my assholes look like. Look at that smiley face. I wouldn't know. Who here is looked at their own assholes? Who the fuck has it with their own assholes? I've never looked at mine. Half of us have it.

You bend over the mirror and you're looking between your legs. Uh-oh. Four out of three people have And look at their assholes Sorry, what don't look at me like that Look at now come right over there. I'm ready. Yeah, come over there. I'll kiss you in the lips I'll Laura Norman You've ever seen that uh that a viral video where it's these two white guys and go in the black neighborhoods And like you got you got a fucking problem. they start pushing each other black eyes like let's

go let's go and they just ripped their clothes off and they're in pink thongs and the black guys go back right away now yeah it's a quite a social uh... experiment black take a it that's one hundred percent true it's a fact it's really is i would say there's a lot of home of home of home of home of home of home of home home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of people in both races home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home of home So anyway, I guess we gotta start wrapping up here. I mean, if you're black and you're like, what are we got in the chat room there?

A couple of things. Someone says that Katz's nipples look like an Asian squinting. All right, all right. And then someone tweeted at the show that there's a porno of a guy that looks just like Louis CK bang somebody. So we could pull that up if you want. I don't like this video watching on radio. Just send a little.

No offense if anyone does that. But we're all gonna be commenting on a thing that they're not looking at. video watching on radio just send no offense if anyone does that but i just that we're all gonna be commenting on the thing that i'm looking at is it Louis ck theme where he's jerking off on the girls uh... i'm not sure if it's themed or if it's incidental uh... we can find out anything else anyone's in us hitting us burning us hate us saint alfonso says congress to bobby i'm getting high work himlr to guest host this week

all right that's about yeah I've heard that one before. Really? He looked like Himmler? Himmler. That's like, uh, Hitler's second hand guy. He looks like, uh, I tweeted this recently. Put it in his face. I've seen it.

A little bit, but he looks exactly like Terry Francona. I'll pull it up on that. Can I ask you this? Metz, can I ask Gomez a question here? Yes, sir. You've sent the N word. You've said blacks, hey, gay, blah, blah. Is it so fucking nice to be Puerto Rican and just be able to say that shit?

Yeah, if Mike said that'll be a different ball game. I don't know if it would be I mean, I think people I guess I guess people don't care because I but like big J says it Dave says that we we just gone too far So it's like who gives a shit at this point if anybody ever came at me for anything I've ever said I Literally every time I can go, oh, we're kidding. I mean, there's, I'm never calling a black dude the N word in anger. It's always that a fucking, like, that's the thing. The people get in trouble before like Hulk Hogan or fucking Kramer. You don't worry about like the Atman Nightbooker seeing that and not they're not going to fucking. They're not, I mean, they're not, they're going to book me. They're not going to book me. I mean, I've gotten on TV. People know

what I do. Yeah. You know, yeah, maybe there, they're not gonna book me. I mean, I've gotten on TV, people know what I do. You know, yeah, maybe there'll be some shit that I'll lose out on, but I don't know. I'm getting fans. I think the most important thing is getting fans. There's some freeing about that. Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, I tweeted that recently.

I was like, I imagine what it's like to have herpes. It's like, at first it's like a thing. I'm like, all right, fuck it. It's kind of great now. I don't have to worry about it. So. All right. Yeah.

That's the key to wrap it all up. I get it have to worry about it. All right. Yeah. That's the key to wrap it all up. I get it. That's the key with, well, however you're doing is to get fans to come see you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not depending on the industry to get fans. They've never given me anything before.

So it's like I've built fans by myself and I'll keep on doing that. It gives you the strength to be racist. Yeah. Hold on, racist. It's just joking about whatever I want to joke about. I think we all do. You know, like anybody, you can find anybody if you really wanted to, you can take anybody from any podcast, any other stand-ups, you can cut a moment at a context and make people look like they're racist or hateful or whatever. I just, I don't know, you see that check with the SNL tweets?

Like she's deleting 2000 tweets. And it's, she's doing that because not because she has 2000 bad tweets because she's going fuck it. I don't want to sift through every tweet and have to worry about what is what. So let me just chop them all off. Yeah. It's all silly. And we're all very irreverent guys. We're being fun.

Yeah, irreverence fun. We have dead nerve endings and we got to go hard, you know, to make it a funny thing. Oh, we're being, we're being funny. I mean, it's all, like you said, I don't think any of us are sitting around going, hey boy, these fucking people, we're being it. We're being funny. I mean, it's all like you said I don't think any of us are sitting around going hey boy these fucking people we should execute them these pieces Well, I've seen The meetings of the some of the best people my podcast. I think that yeah the best people I've met in my life We make these jokes because it's it's so silly to be racist or whatever And by the way everyone in the world agrees 98% of the people in the world are not offended by words

They are not when the joke is out there to the problem is the small percentage of people that make a really fucking care so they just go on and on and on and they all get together and and they want to what they do is they're one thing they want to have a lot of really good five-year-old women's the winning and in the backlash part of the breath back lashes is trump to be honest yeah i really agree

but who but who's got fired for a joke like people have gotten fired for saying stupid. Sure had people come to the office of Amy Schumer. She fought for what's the thing? The point is you didn't get fired. He touched had people coming after him with a ring of fire. I know, but it's like it's a headache. Is it a lot of work? The more the more we just say fuck it, just say what the fuck they want. The more we do that, and the more people get in trouble for it, the more desensitized the public becomes to it.

So even look at Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan really dealt with like a week of shit, and we're like, yeah, whatever, we knew the Hulk was saying, Nigger, let's get real. Like, come on, you really think Hulk Hogan was saying that? He said it in like promos and interviews on the radio before. You know what I'm saying? So I don't really, yeah So I don't think it really...

I hope you're right, but I think we should start attacking these people who call out the tweets. They're the problem. Let's get them in trouble. They should be hung off a highway overpass. Yes, hang them up. Very specific. Yeah, no, I look all throughout them with violence,

but I mean, what do you do? It's like, I think we also put a lot more value on how much of a voice some of these because they're just trolls They're all just trolls right they're trolls on the right the trolls and left They're they're just people that are looking for a reaction on the internet They want to get their likes they want to get their clicks right. It's just Talent that's a talentless fucking Trolls nothing new to say unoriginal. So they're coming at you

But the reality is they don't actually have a voice until you start freaking out It's bigger than it really is. Yeah, it's like what's your name from us and out the black check should happen occurred it happened occurred I mean just this just happened I mean hurts also a particularly Psychopathic fucking guy and he says a lot of crazy. He like argues with these chicks in a hurry and I would say that he kind of It's funny. He's such a not to talk about this because kind of old news by now But he's such an expert troll himself He's a man and then he kind of fell into their troll trap. Yeah, and said something and said something I it's weird that he he let himself get caught up in this thing got get cut up and it's not gonna back down and we're talking about like literally

You can name like there's it's it's it's boy. It's in our world It comes up in our feeds because this is our world right to the real world nobody gives a fuck nobody that cares Yeah, my parents are always the barometer. They have no idea who Kurt Metzger is or this girl in SNL. They don't know any of this shit. It's in our love Metzger. In our world, like you said. This really, it's because there's like,

there's people, there's 3,000 people talking about it, but it's all over our Twitter feeds. We're like, oh my God, but there's 350 million fucking people. But that's happening to everybody. That's why these trolls voices sound louder, is because they're only talking with people who agree with them So they're all outraged and everyone that their friends with is also feels the same way So everyone being all insular like this, but having these it's like social media allows you to talk to so many people But really you're only talking people that think the same way as you and they're all they're all it's it's causing it to the problem as well. We've sent we've sent copies of our

Legion of Skanks episodes to salon and two different feminist blogs to try to get them to write about us and they just won't. Right. They want it. They want to say when they come after you they want to hurt you. They don't want you to want it. It's fucking hilarious to be like we say so much worse shit than anything that Midscus ever said, right? And we literally we sent it to him. We had fans tweeting at them and literally nothing came of it. That's what I think. We have that like,

Mark and I have a troll that writes like, oh, you guys are horrible, you're racy, I wanna be like this. You know, listen to this show over here. Like, I'm like, you would never even fucking think about it. I'm like, I was at the movie theater and this black guy was yelling the whole time I hated that guy and she's like you piece of shit and then you guys are like how about these N words fucking take an edge Whatever the fuck you guys do and then you're sucking each other's dicks and all this crazy shit

I'm like listen to this show. Yeah, it's but you know I think we also package it as being a really offensive show Are you what what network are you on now with the show? I just started my own podcast network. But before you were racist show on a racist network. No, we're not racist show. So if you say it on a racist, I'm just saying, you're on Kummy, you're on these, you're the world,

you're in, it's totally acceptable to me. Yeah, but I, that way, you know what I mean? Yeah, but we're not in that world anymore. We're literally three times the size we were. Really? When we were joined Kummy, we had a huge growth spread recently. And I think that our our fans are real comedy fans that are looking to laugh at shit that they don't get to hear in other mediums and TV radio podcasts. Everyone's so afraid to play

with this type of content. And why can't it be? It is a great example. We push it pretty far. Legion of Stank just pushes it a lot farther, but we package it as, I always compare to that documentary, what's the comment about the joke, the aristocrats. It's like nobody's gonna go, it's like, oh, you're talking about ramping a baby and that joke, what are you doing? It's like, well, no, that's the joke.

Well, it's when they think you mean it that they get offended, I guess. Yeah, I guess it may be it is. But we're always just joking. I don't know, like literally if you ever came to me and said, oh, well, you said this, I'm like, yeah, I was kidding. I mean, I'm not gonna apologize for joking, we're trying to find funny moments.

If people went through my tweets, they're like, this is a racist tweet, I'd be like, I know. I'm a racist tweet because it's humorous. Yeah, that's the thing too. Especially the podcast, it's like, we're kidding. And also, we're improvising. I'm going off and I say a lot of dumb things.

I'm talking continuously for an hour. It's kind of entertaining. You're not only saying you're kidding me, of course. We're gonna say also we're improvising. I'm going off and I say a lot of dumb things. I'm talking continuously for an hour Trying to be entertaining. You're kidding me? Of course. I'm gonna say some stupid shit And then they only get mad when it hits their thing, you know like I don't like when you talk about that But the rape stuff is gold. Well, I did it. It'll be racist against you know white people That's just completely completely fine That is like wildly acceptable I did a pedophile joke on Conan and they groaned when I mentioned the WNBA Like wildly acceptable. I did a pedophile joke on Conan and they groaned when I mentioned the WNBA

Like I'm in real talk about fucking kids, but don't make fun of the Indian Yeah, yeah, if you bring up I did a show in Cleveland I brought up the black eyes getting shot. Yeah, and it was like so I didn't that's tough I did was just silent and then I said any Jews here and they said yeah, I went too many and that killed and it's like Well, why is that okay well because because Jews aren't you being right now I mean that's the reason it's the maximum I'm not saying I agree with them but that's the reasoning behind it it's the the the time yeah the Jews are getting shot in the street also Ohio is a weird place with race stuff man oh say very they got a very weird vibe there when it comes to race joke period

and great there are also black people have been shooting each other in the streets for years oh yeah I mean well that's true but that's not but anyway but I mean but there's not a whole thing controversy yeah but they all deserve to die I'm kidding stop all right no we got to wrap it up here back I got we got set for God's sake and we're with the show has been on we're going three hours right now no no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no November 3rd through 6th. I'm there the week after you. Oh cool. How about that? I'll leave a secret note for you I know it in the pillow. Yeah on the pillow Where else what else?

Twitter Instagram all that shit. Louis catch. You just use my name and find me. I don't know what the handles are Louis is spelled Oh, hello UIS KATZ look me up check out my album. I'll have a new album sometime soon. Yeah, if these balls guitar hilarious album hilarious guy It's great. Mike Racine. Yeah, my half hour special premieres out this Friday on comedy centrally hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey that's great. And then check out Mike's two Conan's on, go to teamcoCo.com, Mike Racine, REC, C-I-N-E, and leave a nice comment. They're on YouTube. And go on, leave a nice comment, and give a thumbs up and shit, because these comments are bummers. And Mike is one of the best.

I've talked about this before. One of my favorite comments of all time on YouTube, Mike Racine's first Conan, which I lost a Creek award to you, best late night. Ooh, that year. It wasn't better set, though.. Best late night. Ooh, that year. It wasn't better set though. I mean, probably, probably right. But one of the comments said, this guy is great.

Cool, calm, collected, hilarious. If I did stand up, this is exactly how I'd do it. I love that comment. If I was going to do stand up, I'd do it perfectly at the highest level. That's what I would do. Thanks. All right. That's what I would do Thanks All right, that's tough medium to say it. Well, I think it's funny and it usually gets a laugh and it's hilarious, but

Whatever fuck that guy you guys are on his side Mark Norman, what do you got going on over there buddy? Yeah, cuz he's stiffing me purposefully He's got his arms folded. He's staring at me. He's been trying to coop the fest. I'm not cooping it. Whatever it is. I'm not cooping it. Oh, Louis and Mike, do you guys do your plugs and then usually for ours?

Yeah, that's nice. I really got a piece. What do you get? I come on your show. That's nice. Louis, where are you going to be, baby? The ninth of October, I'm going to be, that's this Sunday night.

When this podcast comes out, I will be at Lancaster, Pennsylvania, the Camillean Club Got a bunch of other stuff coming up in November and December go to go miss comedy.com go miss comedy on Instagram Check out my other podcasts, Legion of Skanks and the real-est podcast and also check out my Mix Martial Arts show with the UFC middleweight champion Michael Bissping every Thursday 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on Serious XM Russian 93 to count down. Mark Norman. Hey, hey, uh, go on to San Francisco punchline in October. Come out to that please doing Sticker Treat in LA and New York and during Halloween time. That's gonna be great. I'm doing my special hour for Comedy Central November 17th at the synagogue in Lower East Side.

It's gonna be a hot one. The ticket link isn't out yet. The synagogue. It's at a synagogue, I'm sorry. What's it called? It's called the Angel Orrensa's foundation. I don't know, it's 1829. Nice.

Yeah, yeah. So there's a lot of weird riding on the wall. I don't know. He grew, I believe. But yeah, so it's going to be a doozy, the ticket link will come soon. And hopefully we can all come, and I'll be in Australia. Every Schumer date, I keep keeping all these tweets like,

are you doing opening for Schumer? I'm opening for all of them. So come out to all of them. It'll be fun. And yeah, give me a hoot and a holler. Hit me on Instagram and Twitter at Mark Norm. Thank you. Dave, you want to plug anything, buddy?

Well, yeah, just thanks for having me It's good to watch you guys today and I have a podcast called sex actually Sex actually yeah, we talked dating and stuff at envy a lot of comics So if you when you're in LA if you want to do my podcast sex actually, I'd love to have you We're all set, but that sounds great No, I'm just kidding. I'd love to do that. Louie here in LA a lot you post up there Ah, no, I'm just kidding. I'd love to do that. Louis, you're a NLL, you post up there. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great. Check out the podcast. Sex actually. Go to Mark's special, November

17th. And Lauren, let's close this out with a big kiss. All right. You want to plug this in? Oh, wait, you make that first. No, don't make a big deal out of that. It's a kiss, a lip. On the lips. A kiss. Oh. On the lips. Come on.

All right, the other cheek. Ah! Great. All right, do you want to make a date for the lips. On the lips. On the lips. Come on. All right, the other cheek. All right, do you want to make a day for the wild? Just watch straight rape. Super creepy. Sorry, everybody at home. We're trying to have fun here. All right, Bobby's on his true story tour. You can go to robbercarelerlive.com and check out all his dates. Tomorrow he'll actually be in Pittsburgh at the home in Homestead at Pittsburgh Improv. October 6th, he will be at last laugh at- Sixth? Sixth, the last laugh at Erie, Pennsylvania.

Also, if you want to come in and be a guest and sit on the couch in the studio, just email us at ykwdproduceratrycast.com. If you want to send anything for the shelves any original artwork you guys have 117 McDougall Street attention Robert Kelly New York New York 1.0012 also make sure you guys download the Robert Kelly you know what dude app become a premium member it's 1.99 a month and you get all the good stuff you will be just drop the creeps for kids on You know what dude app become a premium member. It's 1.99 a month

And you get all the good stuff you will be just drop the creeps for kids on so You guys will be able to get that plus all the recent 10 episodes you guys will always get All right, sorry about hitting on your girlfriend there Dave I should have done my vlogs before bomb. That was stupid. All right, great'm gonna uh... also be at such as look to louis kassi's gone uh... i'm gonna also be at sunny veil russia t feathers november tenth through the thirteenth uh... doing a bunch of louis dates i don't know which ones exactly but uh... i think i'm doing the majority of them so go see

louis k uh... but i'm getting similar to it's me where I'm gonna be but I'll be on most of those and then check out two things with stories every Tuesday it's free and it's funny and we're silly and we're gay and my album are you mad at me on iTunes I think a lot of you went out and bought it and posted and commented please go buy that leave a review thumbs up the whole nine and thanks for listening deep will Well, you got anything? No, I got nothing just subscribe to the YouTube channel

Any last dumb comments from these animals? Are you still doing that web series? No, I don't think that was a that was a fun little brief thing Yeah, sometimes when I'm bored or sad or horny I just stop and think about that for a moment really Yuck it up. Yeah, how's the little bomb? Those guitar thanks for listening to the show everybody and Bobby will be back next week and his health is fine I'm just kidding and go see him on the true story tour and thanks very much. I love you appreciate it Been listening to the YKWD podcast. Thanks for listening.

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