Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rent Friends | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #34

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss Story Warz, Luis stealing Bobby's hat, Mike Vecchione's wedding mishaps, Justin Silver's strange appetite, Dan Soder's audition, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607  SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/  Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy https://twitter.com/luisjgomez  Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/  SPONSORS  True Classics Upgrade your wardrobe at https://trueclassictees.com/REGZ Cornbread Hemp Get 30% off your first order w/ code "REGZ" Lucy Get 20% off first order w/ code “REGZ” Small Batch Cigar Use code REGZ10 for 10% off plus 5% rewards Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Door up! You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. I'm not the fucking dude, but every time you do an impression, dude, dude, You said it, you said it, you said it. When did I say that? What? Hey, when did I say that? We all had little names. When did I say that?

And I said, what are you doing, dude? Don't do that. Sorry, I thought we were fighting. What are you doing, dude? Because I told you. I don't know what you were saying. What are you saying? Jeet Lewis, stop.

I thought we were fighting. When we fight, we knock over bottles. This is how we fight. This is how we fight. Dude, we all had nicknames and I said I'm the dude, and you go, you're not the dude, you can't name yourself the dude. Well, no, the point we made was there was already a dude

named the dude, a big famous character. That's your dude. That was like. I'm your dude. No, that was his name, man. I'm the dude. You're not the dude. I love when you do that.

Your name is like Robert Kelly, man. I'm the dude. Try this coffee, this is so good. What is it? It's just piss. You gotta be so different. It's hot, dehydrated piss. Isn't that good? It's soup, it's soup, it's soup, it's soup.

Before you... It's soup, please don't spit it right in. I know you were. Because when you're expecting coffee and you get salty fucking broth. You have soup in your cup? I thought he fucking gave me like a coffee from a month ago. We just sitting That was from the first episode you know what I warmed it up. I gotta give credit though He took the hit he started laughing. He thought it was funny. That was the soup is delicious when you're expecting soup

So good wasn't it good soup was good, but I wasn't expecting soup. I don't like expecting a latte-ish type of a thing. That's like when you stop peeing and you put your penis in your pants and you don't expect more piss to run down. Dude, I hate it. I hate pissing in my pants. One time I did it during the pandemic

when they were doing shows at the stand upstairs and the whole thing was open. I pissed quick, did that and I had light jeans on and there was this piss. Yeah. I did that at, when the Al and the Monkeys played Boston Garden, when we did that Boston Garden gig where we bombed, I went to the bathroom and I pissed

and I put my dick back in too quick. I had piss all in the front of my pants. We've all told the story, these stories are on Story Wars. Check out Story Wars. I told this story? Yeah, we talked about this exactly. It was, somebody told, I think you submitted the story, but I also have the story.

I'm fucking mad at your stupid story. Rawr, be mad. Why, because you cheated. I'm fucking mad. Because you're a cheater, you're an old cheater. Fuck you, I cheated. You're an old not fat cheater, not fat. First of all, I didn't cheat.

It's called strategy fucking queers. And second of all, you took away double points for story warriors. Well, hold on. I think here's what I'm gonna, I'm making the executive decision. Jay, look, Jay is very controlling. Maybe you guys haven't worked with Jay ever in any way.

Tell me about it. I've avoided it because I've talked to you two. Three. Just the only one who hasn't had a deal with Jay. I fucking like him. First of all. I've avoided it because I've talked to you two three One single kind of an issue it's not it's not it's not funny that Lewis said Jay's controlling that Yeah, what what hot calling the kid you're you're I'm also controlling. It's a big problem on the show You don't need you can't have two guys that are control freaks and narcissists trying to hold up one space. He goes, if we had two Daves, one Jay, we'd be fine. We'd be killing it. No, he, he, it was his thing and it really was his thing. He kind

of came up with it. You know what I'm saying? He started, Oh, this is why you don't like it. No, no, no. I like it. Jay got himself a motherfucking hit. No, that's not what I'm saying. Jay got a Sufa. Jay really does the story wars like, you know, he calls it out and then I fucking did that and I started the hoo hoo hoo and it was, it's cool. But then we decided- You're trying to take credit that you put it over.

No. You go, Jay said it, but ah. You're not even listening to what I'm saying, Dan. You're just coming at me right now. I'm gonna burn my hand. Ah! No, so then we decided that a story warrior couldn't trigger double points. If you win the game, you become a story warrior, you can trigger double points. He's a story warrior. And decided that a story warrior couldn't trigger double points. If you win the game, you become a story warrior,

you can trigger double points. He's a story warrior. And he's a story warrior. Your act out was fucking bravo. It was a great act out. So, but then the problem, Aaron Berg, Felipe Esparza, all these guys started just like, they come on, they're like, double points, double points.

They did it so many times that it like, you know, at the end, we're just like, all right, dude, it's a lot of. They really banged on it. Yeah, yeah, they banged on it too much. And then we said, let's pull it back. Big Jay and me, once in a while, throw it in, but I don't really throw it in. It's really Jay's thing.

It's your piano, man. Yeah, yeah. You guys, we don't close with that. But then we're having a fucking, there's an uprising with the fans now. They're like, you're fucking taking away. We fucked up because we did it on the Tim Butterly episode and Tim Butterly is like a beloved human being.

Sweetest boy in the world. And he wanted to do it and we're like, no, dude, it's not what you can do. You didn't let fucking Tim Butterly do like a beloved human being. Sweetest boy in the world. And he wanted to do it and we're like, no dude, you can no longer do it. You didn't let fucking Tim Butterly. We didn't let Butterly do it. Oh my God. But I will say that I've made the executive decision, we're gonna let Story Warriors do it,

but we're gonna have a little talk before the show. Like Tony Hinchcliffe's gonna talk before. Are you gonna Tony Hinchcliffe everybody? We're gonna Tony Hinchcliffe everybody. I'll look to you, that's when you say double points. If I go like this twice, you get double points. Great TV show. Great TV show.

So we're just going to have a conversation with you guys before, you know, reel in a little bit. Don't be fucking so funny. You guys are like scuba instructors. Here's the deal. When you're out there, you're going to want to say double points a lot. You're not going to be able to do that. I need you to do one or two store double points maybe twice. It's not going to be a good time. You good? I need you to pull on your cord. If you feel like you're going to say double points, I

need you to pull on your mic cord. Look blame Aaron Berger, Felipe Esparza. I blame you. Why do you blame me? I'm going to tell you if you don't yell, fuck it. Paint the fence. Stop doing that. Stop.

Listen. Please. if you don't yell, fuck it. Paint the fence. Stop doing that. Listen, because in the moment, you should have just went, hey guys, chill with it, chill. No, but do it behind the scenes. Like right now, we're having a conversation off. Yeah, BTS. You just do behind the scenes for your other podcasts on other podcasts? Yeah, yeah.

You go, guys, behind the scenes reg stuff, what's going on with the bottle? Why don't you just give, hey, you get five. You get five. We're gonna limit the, we're gonna count the bottle? Why don't you just give, hey, you get five. You get five. We're gonna limit the, we're gonna count the double points. Somebody had a good idea. They said every win you have,

you get one double points per show, which is not bad. Why? You're never gonna win again, pussy? Bitch, I'm gonna win for the rest of my life. This week in Nashville? Yeah, I'm a fucking Viking. I'm a story warrior. Story Viking rules.

Can we get Bobby a Viking hat for story words every time he's on? Joe's energy is shit right now. Yeah Joe come on wake up. Well, it's whatever cuz I didn't take you back that and story words First of all, he's got story war PTSD Rules he's back there Because he got fucking cheese. He can't hear his story without pissing his pants. The rules. He's back there. He's like, hey fucking, I'm fucking guessing. He's back in the shit.

I'm fucking, where's the fries? We ordered fries fucking 40 minutes ago. Bobby wants pizza, huh? Bobby, what the fuck? They're fucking jay-ze eating pizza off plates. Having story words flash back. And it's just Creedence Clearwater playing in his mind. It's a flawed game is all I'm saying.

Whoa. Not a flawed game. It's, you have to sometimes fix things as you go. It's a new game. And that I- A nude game. That would make it good. I like that.

Nude story wars rules. Yeah, love that idea. Skankfest. Let's go. Let's do nude story wars. Joe, would you ever do the nude show? I did the nude show a long time ago Would you let me ask you a question? Would you judge the naked respond? There's no cameras. There's no nothing just don't

I don't think my wife would be into me Judging what if you plumped up your trunk before you did it? That's what I get well the one time I did I did the naked show a few times in my younger days my drinking days And I tried to shave my pubes into elephant ears But it just looked like like Mickey Mouse. Yeah. And as much as you try to plumb. Dan's on in the morning. This is like when Dan's the one. Yeah, he was born for this. I was born for morning zoo radio. Let's go to traffic. This is the end of the hour. Val Kilmer's dead. Also the the I10 backed up

That's good copter dude sound effect not as good as your odds There is that's show this doing that that's Bobby The great bison run over the place for providing us meat. Oh, lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalilalem. It was like, lalalalal hats got buckles, dude. They're the fucking shit. They're so sick, dude.

These buckle hats. I'm buckling. Max has got a little buckle. My hat's got a belt on it, dude. That's my hat. It's not your hat. That's my fucking hat. It might be your hat.

You might have, you know, can I tell you what it is? It's my hat. Your son comes to my home and leaves his belongings and I smell them and wear them. I want my hat. That's my hat. I need a hat today. Admit that you cheated at story one. That's my hat. Admit that it was a little unfair. A little, a little, what's the word I'm looking for? Unethical. First say it was a little unethical and you took your hat backical It was not unethical because I abide by the rules. I did not break the rules I abided by the obided obided. I abode in I Obama 28 listen Right now you guys I want that fucking hat back Max got in big trouble for that hat. Take it. He got beaten.

What if you found out that Max just got the absolute shit kicked out of him by Bobby because of that hat? You wanna go? Kiss. I'll fight you for that hat. Fight me for that. That's my hat. Fight me for that.

I will. I would lump Bobby the fuck up. You guys are probably the same weight class. You might be known. Listen, fuck face, I want my hat back. I'll call the cops. I'll call the cops. What? Call the cops?

I'll call the cops. We have to wait around. That's perfect. That was a good cop. We have to wait around after. All right, so the hat was left at your house. No, that's not what I'm saying. Max stole my house and leaves things at my house and they become my things.

I'm going to say, this guy stole my hat. I don't know who he is. We got a 1452, a hat stolen. I'm all noises. We got shots fired. There's a Puerto Rican in my hat. I don't know who he is 1452 stolen I'm all noises. We got shots fired. There's a Puerto Rican in a hat. I can't breathe motherfucker Guys, I'm the noise guy. What is this? What do it a scene? We're doing see we're doing Tell me what you want, and I'll do the noise. You know what this isn't After you're far away gone. Yeah, what is for a gun and a pillow? What's that was right? What was the shisha? What's the caliber on that thing?

Was that an ice skater? That's a gun that you fucking load with a slot. That's the Terminator fucking gun. The flip load with the fucking sawed off shotgun. That's an ambulance. Why is everything far away with Joe? Because his mouth. Joe's like this.

It's so funny. Joe to a far away elephant. In the distance. Did you guys faraway elephant. In the distance. Did you guys hear an elephant? You said it. That one's right on him. That one's on my chest right now. I want my hat.

I want my hat back. Take your hat. I'm gonna take your hat. I'll fucking take it. We'll see. Guys, hold on, there's a freight liner going by. Come any closer. Come any closer. I'm gonna break your fucking pinky.

Break my fucking pinky. Guys, don't break his pinky. Don't fucking do it. What if I did? Dude, the podcast went in. Break his pinky. And we're all sat here. But the two seconds of silence that we were like.

And we'd all be like, dude. And then Bobby going, dude! My pig is just over here. And he's just showing it to us. Dude! And then Bobby goes, that's just the three of us. Like, do we call it, or do we keep going? What do we do?

Me in an ambulance with my hat on and my piggyback. It would almost be worth how funny it would be if I actually broke me trying to find a new topic with Bobby Lee. He's like, have you guys ever broken your pinkies? Oh fuck, I broke my pinky at Skankfest last year. It's still not right. How'd you do it?

During the jujitsu tournament, Tim Butterly. Oh. Is that why you didn't give him double points? Yeah, I was like, it's my fucking. That sucks. My brain just shut off, sorry guys. We should always do morning. Morning is good.

Morning is fun. We belong in the morning. Morning stinks. It takes so long to get here. It does. It was like an hour and fifty minutes. Because you guys move far. All I ever hear about, you got to move out to the fucking country like sunny.

Because we don't come in at nine in the morning like businessmen. I live fucking in the suburbs. We both live in the suburbs. That's the country. If I leave at noon, it's a 36 minute drive here. Yeah, well, what time do you, how long do you stay? What? What?

Yeah, you wanna do morning? How long does it take today? How long does it take today? I don't know, tell me. Would you fucking Invisalign stick together? You guys are always like, move up here, it's 10 minutes. I got it, I got it, I got it. You guys are bad.

I didn't stop, you were. You guys, you got, hey. It takes 12 minutes, You guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys. I didn't stop. Do it. You guys, you guys, okay. It takes 12 minutes. You should move up here. I got a yacht. It's all white people. And then we try to do 9.30. You guys are like, it took me three days.

You're like fucking Frontiers. I left on the Nina and the Pinta three days ago. James was like, dad, where are you going? You go, I'll be back, son. It just takes a lot. And we don't come in the morning. We come in the morning. Neither does your wife. Hey. I'm gonna fuck you. I'm gonna take your hat and your wife. Whoa. Thank you. You can have that. Wait so Max just left that and then you were like new hat. I don't know there's

so many hats in my house. They're all fucking mine. You brought us back to the hat? I'm not letting Max open your house anymore unless he fucking, he writes down what he takes. I come back to the side and I think about it, I just look at you and go, I don't fucking know. I love that Lewis is such a piece of shit. He finds my son's hat and he keeps it.

I don't know whose hat this is. You know it's not yours. I threw it right in his chest. You know it's not yours. I don't know where this hat came from. Can I see? I want to show you. You know it's not yours. I threw it right in his chest. You know it's not yours. I don't know where this hat came from. Can I see? I want to show you. Soda misread the coverage.

I'm not gonna tell you. I want to show you something. I didn't see that guy in the flat. I want to show you something inside the hat. Let me just see. He's doing a bit right now that we're missing, and I love Dan's bit. I mean, I feel like I'd be loving this bit right now,

and Bobby is a black person talking in the movie theater. Uh-huh, I know that ain't my hat. Because we had moved on from the hat. That's my hat, motherfucker. I know that he ain't wearing my hat. We had moved on from the hat, and then Soder just fucking threw the ball right into the hat defense. I ran back to the sidelines going, Joe goes,

what'd you see out there? I don't know, man. I just let it rip. He misread the coverage. I completely misread it. There's a pocket inside the hat. Is there anything in it? Oh, there's a completely misread it. There's a pocket inside the hat. Anything in it? Oh, there's a pocket in the hat.

There's a pocket in the hat. I hope it's your wedding band. Is there something, inside the hat, right there. Where? Right there. Turn the hat. Don't. No, no, no, no, peel that. He's gonna give it to me. Peel it to me.

No, I won't. Look, right there, right there, right there. Where's there a pocket? Right there, I want to point it. Grab it. Ooh, there is a pocket in the hat. This is his hat. Let me see. There's a pocket in the hat. There's a pocket in the hat. There is a pocket in the head this is it there's a pocket in the head Drugs there's a drug pocket in your tongue. It should be the hat belongs to Lewis. You gotta give it to him Lewis is gonna put a penis pill in there. You gotta have it. Happy birthday, buddy

Oh, it's my hat now. It's a cool hat. And happy birthday for me. It's water. Oh, I got Bobby's phone now. Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Also, happy birthday for me. That's not just a phone.

It's a wallet. That's also muscle milk. Oh, my mic got ripped out. You can wear that hat. Paco got me the serious goodness joke writing. That's very funny. That's good. Paco, did you buy that?

Paco, you piece of shit. That's funny, Paco. Paco, and I mean this, Paco. I'm going to ruin your career now. Just so you know, I'm going to be in all these fucking guys' ears. I'm going to be like Paco Paco and I mean this Paco. I'm gonna ruin your career now Just so you know, I'm gonna be in all these fucking guys ears. I'm gonna buy Paco's an actual Paco rip my microphone out. I mean just your headphones cuz your mic is okay Let's say what is the other thing and are these earbuds? Yeah, what? Sony earbuds you got them an actual I have I have like four different pairs of earbuds that are better than these but I will

That's always how you should open a gift. What is go? I already have a lot of these well I mean, you know I have fucking beats and then I have also the Apple AirPod Pro Thank you for the gift But you know what my beats are broken and I didn't bring them today and I need headphones for the gym today But but but but beats I don't know doesn't have money and he's back. Thank you very much Baco I appreciate it, but look at that phone. I got you That's a phone and wallet combo and there's nude photos of old ladies on there.

There's an Amex. Yeah, that's for you buddy. Whoa, shopping spree. There's three Amex. Even though you didn't text me. Wow, that's cool, right? That's pretty amazing. There's no limits on these Amex.

No. And there's no signature or anything so you can just do whatever you want on them. Just swipe and go. Yeah, and if you want to show them to the camera, that'll allow many people to share the gift. Maybe also the back of them too. Whoa!

I love it. Wow. That's the best. That's cool. I really would like one of your Rolexes. You have enough. Which one? I don't know, just one of them, why not?

Which one? How many do you have? Six? Five? One, two, three, four? What is this? Give me this. There's a...

Damn. I can't, it's a brownie. Joe, that's for you. Wow. I'm trying to cut back. I got some pens, this is also for my writing. Those are the best pens on the market. I just wanted everyone to know.

I can't get girls west. Wow, nice. G2 from Pilot are the best pens you'll ever find in your life doctor Dr. Pepper All right, I love dr. Peppi really love must have drank me about 14 dr. Peppers. Yeah, it's all I drink it Mike's What is Dr. Peppi? We got some coupons. Who is this from? I? Don't know It's from the group. That's from all of us one bomb Dana overrule

Okay, I didn't agree to that but okay a mid show coffee run, which you have to do anyway you work for me It's very fun. That was a joke and one genuine compliment and a hug Damn. Oh wow Danny that's from Danny. That's so funny. You give the coupon you go now. Give me a genuine one you You just give me a good old is this brownie 10 years? It looks really good. I can't eat it though Are you back? Do you want some more soup? You back in the thing another sip of soup is that of the brownie isn't a good bone broth sip of soup great What are we talking Val Kilmer? She's dead dude Val Kilmer

Val killed mer what how did he die cancer? Cancer throw cancer right I think so he was eating a lot of processed brownies He looked like shit yeah, and the last time he used to be a heartthrob dude when he was a mad mordegon Yeah, he's fucking beautiful, but they tried to like a top gun maverick. They tried to bring him back and you were like Buddy, you want to look like an old Indian woman pneumonia. Oh Is that what it was? Yeah, but I think it's brought on by you know But he had throat cancer also kidding that's rough pneumonia gets smoker What do you smoke a lot of cigars small match?

I I started smoking cigars I started smoking cigars and I'm smoking them too much lately And then I was like they're gonna fuck up my teeth. That's the one thing about cigars They say they really will fuck with you. All That's the one thing about cigars they say they really will fuck with your teeth. All you gotta do is brush your teeth right when you're done. That's impossible. Yeah, right when you're done, just brush your teeth. That's a lot.

You're like a psycho, a lot of energy. What do you mean they fuck up your teeth? Well you only smoke one cigar a day, you don't smoke five. I don't smoke them even daily, but I just start, I'm smoking them a little bit more than I was smoking them in the past. Yeah, just as soon as you're done, brush your teeth. I had a dentist be like, enjoy your cigar.

Sure. Really? Well your teeth are so fucked up it is like, I don't know, I don't care. Isn't that what you do about it? I mean, just as soon as you done brush your teeth. I had a dentist be like, enjoy your cigar. Sure. Really? Well, your teeth are so fucked up it is like, I don't know. Isn't that what you do about it? Just, you know. What do you, organize a dump? Yeah. It's fine. Whatever.

Yeah. Just don't. I don't care. You can fucking chew nails while you're sweeping up around the dump. Chew nails for all I give a shit. You're fine, dude. Just don't chew shit.

Yeah. Oh, shit. Let me know when this bit's over. Salty Joe's. I'll be enjoying my brownie. My favorite character. You can eat with the Invisalign in. No, they're out.

I'm done. You're done with the Invisalign? Let me see. Let me see your teeth right now. That's so gross. Are you really done with the Invisalign? Yeah. And your teeth have worked.

It's been like 10 months. Your teeth are perfect now. Perfection. Let me see. No. Well, I'm eating my brownie right now. Why do you have a cup of piss that you're drinking? It's this thing.

It's vitamins. It's a marina. I'm drinking a cup of piss today. Oh, you're sick, Joe? You showed up and you're sick? No. My wife and baby are sick again, and I'm going on vacation. Where are you going? So I seem sick?

Where you going on vacation? I can't say. Why? Because last time I said and everybody that people emailed me remember we had this last year you guys like just say it you f***ing know. And then a bunch of people emailed me like dude you gotta stop saying it there's 200 people in this town Oh, you're going to that town again. You're damn right Same place again, Shenandoah National Park. What type of fool I do that I would go to the same place over and over again. I like it. Where is it? What does someone Jamaican me? Where is it? Where is it? Virginia, baby? I got the joke. You got it. I got the thing I don't want to call it a joke, but I got the I got a writing book. Where's the bomb Dana? Why the fuck isn't the bomb Danny? I don't know I had one I had a self-called bandana and didn't see it Where is it? Where's the bomb Dana? Don't get it So is this is this the place in the middle of the woods you invite your whole family to

Where you guys wear antlers and falses are coming my never invite us it's a good question it's peaceful what the fuck does that mean I'm nice but we can go we should go on a trip I want to do a just before just the seven of us no we bring one producer but how are they gonna produce the whole show and have a fuck up every time fight but we only need one but you only need one podcast producer. Let's get an Airbnb. You don't need three guys. Rogan has three, no, no, no.

He has one, yeah. Biggest podcast in the world. Let's get an Airbnb, let's get that house we got for the movie. Oh yeah. On Lake George. Here, talk about that house again. But now you gotta invite Louie.

You can't just go to the house that he rented. I'm coming. Why? But we can edit him out. What if you edit me out of the podcast? Louis is like, he's not good on the podcast. Guys, cut around him. No, we go down to Virginia, we stay on a big farmhouse,

we hike, it's fucking beautiful. But you don't invite any of us. Yeah, it's my family. We jerk each other off like white-loaded brothers. The Walsh is not your family. But they are. What do you mean they are? That's my fam.

Those are my closest friends. Those are like my real actual friends. What about the kid in Seattle? That's my fam. Those are my closest friends. Those are like my real actual friends. What about the kid in Seattle? That's him. Oh, that's him. Yes. I thought it was the Wall Street. Oh, the Wall Street brothers?

No, no, no. The comedian. The comedian. Derek and his wife and his children. Joe, did you name your son after me? No. I'll rename James right now. Matt.

Will you? If you would dare to name your son, you would go. Dan Soder Gomez. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Oh, my God. I am honored. Yeah. I'm honored. Hey, and you can catch his special on Max. Whoa yeah you can't. It didn't really work. No you can but I was thinking your son. What? It's not on HBO. It's on HBO Max. On HBO? Yeah it was on HBO now it's on

Max. Okay it was on HBO Max right when it stopped mattering. You really did I got the last one in. HBO then HBO was like, we're gonna tank. And you're like, bang. Only Veeder got fucked worse than you with COVID, don't you think? Why? Why? Well, you had a theater tour coming, and then you had HBO, and then it just was like, ah.

And then they were like, we're rethinking that one. But what happened with Veeder? And then it was like, YouTube. Well, Veeder got it the way. Veeder's dog business that he started from the ground up. Dog walking. His thing, it didn't exist. He started it, it was making $1 million a year.

A dog walking business? Yeah. He had everybody in New York and then the fucking, and COVID hit and everyone's like, I can walk my own dog. Because his thing, and he's a very smart businessman, as you guys know, very savvy, his thing, he was the only dog company.

Are you talking about Veeda or Justin Silva? Gary Veeda. Gary Veeda, the little tiny dog. Started you talking about Vita or Justin Silva? Gary Vita. Gary Vita, the little tiny dog. Started his own company, who's hilarious, by the way. He's hilarious. His special on YouTube's awesome. He best manned his wedding. That's right.

We talked about that at Mike's wedding. Your speech got brought up at Mike's wedding. And then there was a crowd around Joe as he told the story. Was that when he gave a speech about the business? About comedy and no one cared? The best part of it is Lewis failed to mention at any moment the bride. Is that?

Didn't even allude to it. And I mean this, I don't know her name currently. That's so fucking funny. Which also was funny because Norman. How did you get that? That's where you met her. That's so funny. Norman also had a card for her, for them,

it just said Gary, and I go, you gotta put the, it was like I was the father to a bunch of homeless kids. I was like, you gotta put the lady's name on it, and Mark goes, all right. Just scribbled it down, it was a great speech, no mention of the bride, I loved it. Believe you said, comedians are in the trenches. Yeah.

And then her cousin who served in Iraq But anyways, what was I telling you were talking about be it sucking dick for money For money talking about your friend Gary Vita had a dog walk He started his catch was they only walk one dog at a time. You see those people with 15 dogs. So they put the care in, so he had a big business. It was huge.

He bought a luxury apartment in Astoria, put in your jokes, Astoria sucks. I lived there for 17 years, I love it. I wish you'd hurry up with this Astoria. That was good. That was awesome. Yeah, it was good. Even Joe liked it. Anyways.

I wish you put long Astoria. He lost the whole business, a million bucks a year. That's great. That sucks. You'd have to throw it over. Didn't even blink. He's so zen, this man. Yeah.

Didn't even care. Had to move into New Jersey with his in-laws. Right. Really? Well, it's over now. Why can't he restart it? He's moved on. He's a comic now. At the time. He didn't know what this future looked like

And now it's funny is like he uses business now And he had two but he had two babies and two dogs and lost a million dollar business He'd never if I've thought of it to me, you'd never stop hearing me complain about it Well, he's open it for Nate now. I'm sure he's taking care of him and Sam Sam even more than he was He's with Nate so he's a little bit with Nate, but mostly Sam you have to be crystal clean to open for him Yeah, he is Peter is like underrated I saw him at it's dead in New York or whatever that is now New York Comic Club was like this guy's insanely funny Let's help me. He's fucking hilarious. I'm not your wire fucking king, please wire king wire king slave stupid

No, no, I'm the king wire king slave stupid. No, no, I'm the king. I'm wire king. Always in your head. You're the idiot. You go, Oh, this is a job for a wire. Not your toenail. Okay. Yeah. That's like, you know, Mr. Plows plow. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that fucking. Oh, I love some true classic dude. Not as much as me. Dude. I rock true. Classic. I all aware is true. Classic. It's comfy. Ask me what my shirt is. They haven't sent me any.

True Classic. Really? Ask me what my pants are, Dan. What are you paying? True Classic. What about them socks? Ask me about the underwear. True Classic?

True Classic. Slippers. Ask me about my slippers. What is it? Uggs. But listen, the thing is... Active wear, work wear, and casual wear too, so you can sport True Classic no matter what's on your schedule. True Classic is so committed to their products,

they even have 100% perfect fit guarantee and easy returns. It is so, let me tell you something. True Classic, and I mean this from my heart, is the best t-shirt in the game. The best because it's tied up top and it's loose in the midsies. Yeah, it keeps all your- Because not everybody's shredded.

You wanna accentuate the right areas. Exactly. Joe, when you get these shirts, you and Sarah are gonna start banging five times a day. We already banged five times a day. I know, you guys are insatiable. It makes me sick. I don't wanna bang five times a day.

Forget overpriced designer- I'd like to bang once a year. That would be nice. That would be really nice. Skip the cheap throwaways. True Classic delivers premium essentials built for real life Head to true classic comm slash regs with a Z because we're bad boys to get hooked up today That's true classic comm slash regs r e g z and forget overpriced designer nonsense

Skip the cheap throwaways. It's a bit. It's fun The way you do it guys. We we're back. Where were we? We're back in. We're just hanging out casually. What's up? How was the wedding? It was fun. Yeah?

I made a faux pas. What did you do? You have sex with the bride? You smiled in front of them? Dude. Oh. So, Vecchione got married to Katie Hannigan. It was a very small, fun wedding.

He had two tables of comics. One table was Big J, Ari, Nate, and, yeah, it was Ari. Greg Warren. Greg Warren, Ari, Nate, Big J, and Christine, and then a friend of his from the past. He put a square at a table with those people. He just put a guy that isn't a comic. That's not good. Well, and then at our table it was me, Joe. James Maddern. James Maddern,

Rubare, and then another one of his friends. That's falling off. Yeah, Joe. Your table sucks. That's a good table. Honestly, Aruba Ray is a great hang. James Madden, underrated hang. It's so fun. I wish they'd hang themselves. That's not nice. They probably will. But Mike's old friend from teaching was there.

He was at our table. And the woman. And his wife. Who was a special, she teaches special needs. Hilarious, hilarious people. Well, I'll tell you. And he was a cop. He was like an ex-cop.

Yeah, he. Those are all fun. Those are all fun. He started liking our comedy stories. Yeah. Until. Until. Joe.

What'd you do, Joe? In the middle of eating the entrees, lets out a story where, in my defense, as you started it, I went, John, I don't think you should tell this story. And my wife. My wife and Soda were like this, dude, no. Because we have a friend. John was like, I got a story for you. And he started telling it.

I stopped. I was cutting chicken and I went, no. I stopped. And it's not even a story. I was like, oh, because we were talking about someone. And I went, oh, that guy, he's got us, one time he talked about how he likes to, and then everyone went, oh no, and I went, oh okay. He's talking about when Justin Silver was on Legion of Skanks, and he brought up the fact that when he has sex and he comes.

Oh, he eats it. He likes to pull out, come on a girl, eat it. That's disgusting. So I said, oh dude, that reminds me of the time, and then immediately I went, hold on, nevermind, nevermind, forget it. Justin Silva, wait a minute, he takes come out of a blizzard and he eats it. That's how we can speak dog, that's a secret.

Is that how he goes, woof woof woof. They don't like the dry kibble. How do you know that? What's that girl, you want me to eat my cum? More cum for me, I guess. So he just makes a vagina into a dick? Well, or a receptacle to pour the cum out. Yeah, kind of like how you use wings

to get blue cheese in your mouth. Yeah, you know those claws that crack lobster claws? That's what a woman does, but it gets his cum out. I think it's in the moment, it's hot. There's nothing in the moment about that. I like a shoe in my ass, I like a fucking, you know. There's nothing hot about eating your own cum. It's some fucking vagina is more discussed. I've eaten by accident. I've gone down to a girl after I've come in her and then I was like,

Oh, Oh my God. That's disgusting. I've done that without the cup. I was like, well, I was like, what did I eat asparagus? Something about what I eat. You go, is that me? That's disgusting. Well anyway, and we weren't even naming names. I was like, oh, I got a buddy who does the thing. Well, nobody would have known him. I stopped. Eating fresh cum is terrible. Like right out into your, like a nice cup of fresh

is awful. A preserved cum, a cumcicle is fine. I support it. But anyways, I went, ah, nevermind, nevermind. And then Soder and Sara, Sara's like grabbing my leg. Soder's like, what are you doing? And I go, yeah, ah, nevermind, nevermind. And then Soder and Sara, Sara's like grabbing my leg, Soder's like, what are you doing? And I go, yeah, no, nevermind. I was like, I knew what Soder was gonna tell.

And I was looking at Joe and I was going, we're eating. We're like in the middle of eating our entrees. But then the guy, who was a cool guy, I like the guy, he's like an old cop, big crazy guy. He was like this, no, no, no, you gotta, come on, come on, man, don't do that shit. My favorite is the more he got drunk, the more he was like, let it rip. And I was like, no, no you gotta come on come on man don't do that shit my favorite is the more he got drunk the more he was like let it rip and I was like no no it's bad because I think and I'm not I hate when people are like comedians we're the

craziest but I think sometimes people don't know where comedians are gonna take it yeah cuz he's like come on dude we're adults he's like elbow his wife and his wife is okay he thought well yeah, okay. He thought. Well, he beats her. She was like, oh, I'm sorry. Yes, please. Whatever you want, honey. I'm so sorry. So I'm like, I really, it's not a good story. Just forget it. And the guy's like, I can't forget it now, man.

You gotta hit me with it. We're adults. We got crazy stories. And I was like, okay, well. When I saw Joe wind up, I looked at Katie and I went, watch this. I was like, so you know, you know cum? Oh Jesus Christ.

My friend, he likes- He tried to ease into it? I'm not joking, we're eating fucking Caesar salad. No, it was entrees, dude. I was cutting my fucking chicken. And I'm like, so- I was cutting my chicken, looking at Joe going, that's what Justin calls it.

He's like, I'm cutting the chicken. Ah, it's time to cut the chicken. Ah, this chicken's cooked. The chicken is cooked. Ah, hot and salty. So you know, I'm like, jizz, you know the hot fluid that comes out of a cock? Justin's gay.

My friend, he eats it, and the woman was horrified. You said it, you go, so my friend, he likes to have sex, and when he has sex and he comes, he like took a break and the girl was like watching and then as he said, you know took a break and then and the girl was like watching and then as he said eats a cum she was like she was fucking horrified or she left the table no she leaned back like dinner was there you ruined a meal I asked after within five minutes she was no longer at the table she never came back to the table.

Joe's the cum story guy. I was like, he fucking bae. I was like, you guys saw it. He kept saying it. It's so funny, because they had the thickest Philly accents. So you know, and they left it, and they're like, yeah, did you see during dinner when that guy was talking about that baby eating jizz?

Yeah, what the fuck is up with Mike's comic friends? They're fucking this. He insisted. And then Greg Warren was like, oh my god What are you doing? Yeah, why would you do that? I don't know why stopped I was like never mind You don't want to hear it. I like come eating out of a pussy story while people are eating Also, it's so funny to hear like a Mike bean grab being like I remember when Mike was a little boy.

And Joe goes, now check this out. I'm like this. Yeah. What can you do? Also, what type of girl, I mean, I guess Justin's hot enough that a girl's just like, do whatever you want to do, daddy. And she goes like,

You said they're all into it. She goes like this. There's no way they're all into it. They're not all into it. There's a woman there when he kills it, he goes, and then for my final act, she goes like this. Okay.

He tastes it like a, like a cop tasting cocaine. That's pure. Well, the funniest part is not every girl's into it. Yeah. Every girl goes, Oh, I don't think there's any girl that's in it. Get off me. Oh my God. Fucking queer.

What's wrong with you? He goes, what? It's totally new. He ate the gum out of my pussy. Get off you oh my god We're what's wrong? He ate the gum out of my pussy him losing wind of it while he does he goes No, you can't eat your own come that's well the best part of the episode if you recall And I'm only bringing up because it was on an episode It's not on a leechless canks you can eat your own come Dave had literally the funniest thing Dave's ever said and I don't mean That as Dave's not funny. He's hilarious, Dave Smith. He's hilarious, but this is the funniest thing he ever said

because Justin prefaced it by saying, hey, this is going to be an unpopular opinion. But sometimes I'll pull out and come on a girl and eat it. And Dave goes, well, that's not an opinion at all. He goes, that's a thing you do. It's not an opinion. You're telling us what you like to do. So I eat cum, just a girl being like,

I'm gonna fucking cum, fuck. You know what I do, I'll wipe the cum off, like I'll get a towel, I'll cum on a girl, then I go in and get the towel and I wipe it off, and the amount of girls that have been like, oh my God, you're so sweet, it's kind of crazy. I'm like, what is, There's some animals out there.

What has happened to you? You wipe cum off her and she's like, you're a true gentleman. I came all over your ass. I need to wipe it off. I wipe the come off a girl every time I come on her. One of the funny my buddies when I was a waiter, my buddy started banging this really hot bartender that worked with us. And he told me that they fucked and he came on her and she fucking grabbed him. He came on her like on her tits or whatever

then she grabbed him and held her against it. And she went, paper mache, paper mache. Yeah. No. His ass was very funny. I think it's good of Justin to come out and say what he likes to do. We have less sex shame, don't you think?

Like Norton talking about his stuff and Justin. No, you should have shame about eating your own cup. Norton doesn't talk about swallowing Nicky's cum. Yeah, he should. You know, he talks about her fucking him in the ass. That makes me uncomfortable every time. Yeah. But he does it in a funny way.

Lewis was very real about that. He did the thing of like a trauma victim, like you're rubbing your fingers together. And you go, he talks about Nicky fucking him in the ass. That's like tired. But he does it in a funny way. He doesn't ever go. No, sometimes he's just like, fuck,

yeah, she fucked me right in my ass with her big old dick. No, he always brings it up, like, dude, you think you're depressed, try pushing, using your feet to push your wife's dick into your asshole. That's pretty funny. Yeah. Norton is the funniest. He's, Norman's hilarious.

We should have him on. Yeah. I love Norton, and I'm happy for that he's happy but that's crazy. What's crazy? What's the word the kids use? Gay? Problematic. A king. That's problematic. What do you mean problematic? That's a badass name for myself the problematic pussy. I don't know why. I needed another problematic Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican. Oh the problematic Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican. Ooh, the problematic Puerto Rican. It's so funny he couldn't put that together.

Hey guys, plus me. New nickname. And this one you didn't actually quite give yourself. Yeah. Like every other one. No, most of them they were given. He called me the rattlesnake, cause I'm just here and then I had tic tacs

and I shook him. It was a corona. It was altoids. No, we got the corona thing after. No, I got that next time and he brought the sunglasses. I misremembered. Yeah, oh yeah. The problematic Puerto Rican. It was aids. It was Altoids. No, we got the Corona thing after. No, he got that next time and he brought the sunglasses. I misremembered. Yeah. Oh yeah. It was a problematic Puerto Rican.

It was a fun wedding though. John Jett a comedy was by Ron Bennington. Still don't know what it means. I think it's offensive. I don't think it was a good thing. I think he's calling me a runaway. John Jett's awesome. So the wedding was good.

It was very fun. It was awesome. Vecchio, oh the other hilarious thing. And did Justin get invited to the wedding? Yeah, then he didn't go. No shit. Get out of town. So he bitched about it.

Yeah. And made him uncomfortable. And he could have told the story himself. And he didn't get. I could have gone like this, hold on, Justin. Tell this lady what you like to do. Wait, Justin got invited but didn't come? Yeah.

He was too busy eating his own cup. He goes, sorry, that's a big comedy weekend. He's like fucking a bear with honey. It's like Winnie the Pooh. I just can't wait to eat all this cum. We gotta hang. Oh silly old Billy. I love that.

Filled with cum. He said a bear with honey and you, the Winnie the Pooh. Oh Justin, think silly old queer. I forgot that you do Winnie the Pooh. It's one of my favorites. Here's a great Winnie. Winnie the Pooh eating his own cum rules. Oh boy. Winnie the Pooh. It's one of my favorites. Here's a great Winnie, Winnie the Pooh eating his own cum rules.

Oh, bum. Winnie the Cum. I love to blow a load and then have a snack. It's my favorite. I forgot you do Pooh. Hop over. I love to cum on a huffable lump and then eat all my cum. Hey, Winnie, do you have a cum in Tigger's asshole and eat it up?

Oh, you're all over my back there, pal. Tigger's asshole and eat it up. Oh I'm going to eat my come now No one ever wants to eat my calm you actually don't do a good Eeyore. Yes, I do Cook let him cook. Yeah, you let him cook. Do you great? I was No, I was eating. He'll find it. Now, Macho Man's eating his own gum. No. Wow. Wow, that's nice. Macho Man doesn't. He would never do that.

Andre in the giant wood, though. I love my gum. I want to eat all my gum. There's so much of it. I can't. Andre blowing a load on your back has gotta be, no. Oh, you'd drown. Yeah. It'd be like that scene in Flashdance. André blowing a load on your back has got to be numb. Oh my god.

You'd drown. Yeah. It'd be like that scene in Flashdance. Flip it! I'm about to go! Somebody make an image of Joe just in the chair. Oh, I would love it. I would love a ton to come on me.

Yeah, it was a good wedding. Oh, the other classic though was, so Mike's, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, Somebody make an image of Joe just in the chair. Oh, I would love it. I would love a ton to come on me. Yeah, it was a good wedding. The other classic, though, was so Mike's mother's, I don't know, 90 or something. Mike's 75, so she's got to be in her late hundreds. Mike, Mike, I can't remember.

How old is Mike, though? 51, I think. OK. Because my mother came to babysit, and she was like, oh my god, your friends are turning 50. Because you realize, if your parents are alive, and you feel old, how old do they feel? You think of, you think of like,

I think of all of everyone's parents are 50. I'm like, Dan, your mom and dad would be 50. No, our group of friends is in their 50. I know, he's almost 60. I'm not 60. I said you're almost 60. I'm 54. You're-

Still closer to 50 than 60. All right, I'll give you that. But, but- Don't give me that, it's mine. This year- I'm taking All right. I'll give you that. But, but me that it's mine this year. It's mine. You know, Bobby's 65. We just start lying.

Boss is 67. Oh, God. I think Val Kilmer is younger than 65. I think that's crazy. Wrong one died. Ari's in his fifties. Mike's in his fifties. Big J is 47.

Yeah, that's crazy. Norton. Big J's 47. Yeah. That's crazy. Norton is in it late. I'm 43. I turned 43 yesterday. That's a crazy number. My wife turns 47. I'm turning 47.

Your wife is turning 47? Yeah. How old are you? I'm gonna turn 42 in June. Favorite number. Your tongue looks like a dick. You have a little hole in the tip of it. Oh yeah.

Why does your tongue look like a cock? Yeah, you got like a lizard tongue. What is that? Did you bite it as a kid?, you got like a lizard tongue. What is that? Did you bite it as a kid? Do you also have a very high roof of your mouth? That's how I do all these wonderful noises. Dude, no, no, because people started taking pictures of Dan and like freeze framing them and it looks like Dan has a hole that goes up to his brain through his mouth.

It's crazy. Who's pausing pictures of it? Dude, people, no, it was maybe Facebook or Reddit. It was just like when Dan like laughs, he'll like lean his head back look how high the hole is it isn't Dan has an orchestra pit in his mouth it looks like a dolphin's mouth that's so funny it's talking to me just three don't see anything no lean Do you think I have three rows of teeth like a conehead? Yeah, dude, look how deep the top of his mouth is. That's because it's...

I can't see it. I don't know. Let me see your tongue, get your little penis tongue. Put it up, like stick it out. You got a dimple. Like put it like a thing. Yeah, you have a cleft. You have a cleft.

Stick it out like a pointy. I'm so good at eating, pussy. Do pointy. Point. Oh yeah. Ow, that looks like a dickhead. It looks like a hot, yeah. It looks like a sock. Let me see if you can poke it out like a, it looks like a penis. that looks like a dickhead. It looks like a hot, yeah. When I say the apple, it looks like a penis. It looks like a dog's dick.

I got a little red rocket tongue. I got a red rocket tongue, dude. You got a dog's dick as a tongue. You got a dog's asshole as a mouth. What? I thought we were doing him. What is this? Ah, you switcherooed.

What the hell? Switcherooed. Dolphin mouth with a little red rocket. That's crazy. Dan's mouth is just so weirdly shaped. It's like a little red rocket. It's like a little red rocket. It's like a little red rocket.

It's like a little red rocket. It's like a little red rocket. It's like a little red rocket. It's like a little red rocket. It's like a little red rocket. It's like a little red rocket. It's like a little red rocket. Listen, you switcherooed. What the hell? Switcherooed. Dolphin mouth with a little red rocket. That's crazy. Dan's mouth is just so weirdly shaped across the board that that's why he could do all of these crazy things. Thank you, God.

Thanks for smoking, Mom, while you're pregnant with me. Mom, thanks for jumping down the stairs trying to get rid of me. So they're pushing Mike's mom out, who's like in her 80s in a wheelchair and we're in the back corner at the comp. That's where you got to put the comedians. Oh, fuck dude. I know what story you're gonna tell. This may almost throw up. They're like pushing her out, like saying good night, like halfway through the reception. She's got to go to

bed. It was getting loud. The dancing was starting. So they're pushing her out and Ari is sitting there and he tries to be a gentleman for once in his life And he sees her coming and he jumps up and he grabs the door and just holds the door open with his suit and is Like doing this motion and everyone starts a lot laughing. He's like what and he looks it's a closet It's just like a closet full of shit He literally held the door here you are I was at another table Nate came over to tell me the story and he was like, you gotta see this closet.

And he opened it and it's hilarious. He's still there, not knowing, just standing there like an asshole. It was fun, great hang. You missed out on the Four Seasons hang. What's that? Great time. Nate got it, Nate stayed at the Four Seasons and he got like a pool cabana, but.

Two. Joe's, it was cloudy and raining. It was not raining. It didn't rain for one second. It rained twice at our hotel. Actually like, it didn't rain where we were. That's a lot. We were at a rainy hotel.

We were at a, the hotel had a bunch of construction that we were staying at. And then Sarah jumped, I was in the pool with the baby. Then Sarah got in a few minutes later. We were getting colds. We got out. So Sarah was the only one in there. And then an eight year old kid swam up to Sarah,

literally, and just barfed in the Four Seasons pool right next to her, and then Sarah's such a kind person, she didn't wanna go, ah! So she kinda like kept swimming a little bit, like, oh, all right. I would've drowned the kid right there. It was fucking horrible, and it just floated everywhere. It was like Caddyshack.

Everyone slowly got out of the pool and that was fun. So funny just a kid going, what's your name? And everything. It was insane. And I had a $38 cheeseburger. Max did that on a cruise ship. The last day of the cruise, he was, the boat was rocking and he was, the wave went into his mouth and he swallowed a bunch of pool water and he went, but then he got out and just puked, like all along the deck, and they had to shut, they put a net over the pool, hazmats came out, and they shut the whole pool down for the rest of the day.

I'd be furious. I would be so mad. I was laughing my ass off. I would see him around the boat, and be like, you fucking shut down my swimming pool. Well, here's the great thing about having a year and a half year old at a Four Seasons, he wants to run around and see everything,

so there's just babes in bikinis, and he's walking walking out and he's like, huh? And you got to go, okay, oh, sorry. Oh, she can't take her tits out for you. Right. And I got to see all the babes close up toy. It was nice. Yeah. At a Fort Lauderdale Four Seasons. It was hot. Well, your chick was bathing in puke. Yeah. Sorry, Joe. I'll just dodge all these food chunks. It was fun. It was great. It was great to seeke. Yeah, sorry Joe. I'll just dodge all these food chunks It was fun. It was great hang. It was great to see everybody wedding was good. Great vows were amazing Everyone does their own Vecchione crush. Yeah, Katie's vows were great. Vecchione's were hilarious. He played to the audience He got emotional. Oh, dude

The funniest part was he got emotional but then tried to hide it cuz oh, so he just looked angry dude So he saw her and he started tearing up, it was very sweet, and then he knew we were all there, so he was like. Well the best part was Katie tried to wipe his tear, and he put her in a chicken, he was like, you fucking bitch, and she was like, okay, okay, okay, okay. He literally wiped her hand away,

like fucking karate kid. Oh, that's great. Did he get married by a priest? I think they did courthouse before. Yeah, I was at the courthouse. It was like the fake bullshit, like you did, that nonsense that didn't really make sense. Yeah, I went to the courthouse and witnessed it.

You say that to me like it's supposed to hurt my feelings. I don't care. No, it was great. She did a great job, the lady. Yeah. Oh, it was a lady that married them? Yeah. That's infuriating.

Why? What are you talking about? It's a guy's job. What? It's a guy's job. We all know. You know we what? Give me this.

When have you ever been married? Hang on. Give me this. Let him get it out. It's a guy's job. Well him get it out it's a guy's job we'll get it out it's like it's like it's like being a fucking construction worker or being a fucking cop these are guy jobs cops blessing people yeah I'm doing it for the third time standing there and just give it's a guy's job. How are they choosing you? I'm doing it three times. I did Chicanter, Chavone, and now Ronan. I'm a hero.

Chicanter, Chavone, sounds like a song. Ronan, you're gonna learn fucking. Chavone, Ronan, Chicanter, Chavone. Ronan, Ronan, Ronan, Ronan. He does all Jewish wedding stuff. Chavone out, yeah. They go, Joe, I need you to marry us. He goes, I'll be there.

He's very cheap. I'm telling you, all you gotta pay him is in brownies. You buy him a Starbucks brownie? Don't forget the tea. You need a tea, a large tea. A lot of tea. And he's got herpes. So keep your distance. Oh yeah, use that, use that baby.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for a mid-show coffee run. Yeah! Whee! I'll do a medium version of the same thing that I got. I want a hot coffee with cream. Except one shot, or one squirt of sugar-free vanilla. medium version of the same thing that I got. I want a hot coffee with cream. One shot or one squirt of sugar-free vanilla. It's the newest hit.

Can I have a grande, emperors clouds, short, brief steep, real brief steep. I don't know why you're taking my drink away, you psycho. Throw that away, Joe. Thank you so much. Joseph, I want a medium hot coffee with cream. Thank you. I'm doing heavy cream in my coffee.

I don't give a. It's just a cup of heavy cream. Give me a Justin Silver amount of heavy cream. I wanna eat it, I wanna munch it. Can you pour it on your chest first? I think it's hot. No, you don't think it's hot. I like it.

You don't have to tell that to people. Well, I don't wanna shame. It's rude to shame. The one thing you should be shamed for. It's disgusting. I think Justin's hilarious. Great dude, great friend, love him. You shouldn't eat your cum out of a vagina.

I think it's tits. I think it's off the belly, the tits, the face. It's still gross, but you said eating it out of it. Coming in a vagina and then licking it out of it. Is that what you said? No, it's coming on her and then... We call that the conch shell. You could only do that with your conch mouth. Yeah, dude. You have a conch. Soda's got a conk. Conk mouth. Conk mouth. Everybody gets a new nickname this week. Conk mouth dog dick.

If you listen to Soda's mouth it sounds like the ocean. You guys want me to go get everybody? Want me to round everyone up? Big J is like putting on his gloves. He goes somewhere in New Jersey. Oh fuck. Conk mouth Soda and problematic Puerto Rican and we'll figure us out, you know the dude Party rebel, let's do some plugs. We're about halfway plugs

What is this coming out coming to the the theaters. This is coming out tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Tonight. I was doing it for a comment. It's coming out tonight. I need my phone.

What do you got? When's the movie? When's the portrait of a comedian coming out? It comes out here in New York City at the Quad Cinema starting April 25th. Hey, can you go to tomdustindoc.com? In fact, you people at home, go to tomdustindDoc.com? In fact, you people at home, go to TomDustinDoc.com.

Dot com. And hopefully it doesn't take you guys as long as it takes our fucking intern. Ooh. But look at this, we keep adding cities. New York City Quad Cinema starting April 25th. Los Angeles, The Sunset Five starting April 25th. And these are runs, this plays till May 9th.

San Jose, California, The Three Below Theater, Muskegee, Michigan, Key West, Florida, starting May 9th, Glenville, Illinois, starting May 9th. You fart? Dude, that was wet as fuck. Atlanta, starting May 9th, Locksper Theater in Locksper.

Oh, you're gonna shit your pants. Cambridge, Massachusetts. By the way, wait, go up. You're at, wait, go up.'re at Larkspur, California? Yeah. Dude, fucking, that's crazy. That's where I lived when I was a kid. Wow, there you go. My dad worked at a liquor store in Larkspur. Yes, baby. That's where Dan's liquor was. All right, well, shout out Larkspur, dude. That's Bay Area. Spread the word, for God's sakes. Bay Area, River Oaks, Houston, May 9th, Philadelphia, the landmark, Ritz. Come back to the cinemas. Oh, these are all just come back Justin make a son Ray cinema in Tampa May 21st Philadelphia Ritz 5

also May 21st Scottsdale Arizona Austin Texas these are all new to me the violet crown cinema Bethesda Maryland as the Marylandesda, Maryland. Annapolis, Maryland. I mean, it's crazy. Atlanta, Georgia, Indianapolis, Indiana. Woo! It's too many dates. Go see the movie. This is all one plug. Just plug the movie. You plug too much shit.

People forget. No, but they're waiting to hear their city. Tom, Dustin, Doc, this is only the movie. These aren't comedy dates. This is just movie? This is all movie. Oh, Jesus Christ, you still gotta do your comedy dates? Yeah, dude.

I'm not doing comedy dates, they're all sold out. Woo! All your comedy dates are sold out? Absolutely. How many dates? No they're not. Everything. Rochester Comedy Club, May 1st through the 3rd,

I don't even need to mention it, because it's sold out. You're not sold out. Yeah, May 1st, 2nd, 3rd. Rochester's my big market. I'm going to buy tickets for you. Comedy at the Carolson. No, I'm joking.

He said please. You are shaming me. He said please buy tickets. Cleveland, Hilar the Carolson. Stop joking. He said please. You are shaming me. He said please buy tickets. Cleveland, Polarity. Will you stop with this shame shit? May 15th to the 17th. I don't think you should be shaming me.

Stop saying shame you fucking woke loser. Shame on you. What? Shame on you. Shame on you. Well go see the movie. If this is coming out. I can't wait to see the movie by the way.

You gotta see it. Can you send me a copy? Why don't you go see it at the the way. You gotta see it. Can you send me a copy? Why don't you go see it at the quad? I'll go see it but will you send me a copy? Bring Max. All right, when is it? It's a little dicey. Why?

Well we talk about getting robbed by hookers. No, I've talked to him about that. Oh great. Max, you will get robbed by the hookers. I talked about getting robbed by a Puerto Rican. When he goes. The hat. Is that where the hat went, Dan?

Don't let him go back to the hat! Hat bit sucks. I will be this Friday and Saturday, I will be at the Richmond Funny Bone for shows. Is that too many dates, Bobby? Well, hold on a second. Now let me do my plugs. I'll be at the Richmond Funny Bone this Friday and Saturday,

and then May 1st through the 3rd, I'll be at the Spokane Comedy Club in Spokane, Washington. Go to DanSoda.com for tickets. And then of course Albany, New York. I'll be at the Egg on May 15th. And then the Flynn Center in Burlington, Vermont, May 16th. DanSoda.com for tickets. Listen to Soda the Podcast. Just had Lewis and Zach on. And I love you guys. Sorry, Joe. I was just joking. Come see me on the road. I love you. No shame. I love you guys. Sorry, Joe. I appreciate that. I was just joking. Come see me on the road.

I love you. No shame. Love you. Come see me this weekend. I'm in Philly at the Punchline. Then we're going to be in Nashville's Dames all next week. Story Wars Live. Plus we're doing The Depraved.

Bobby Kelly's on The Depraved. Sick. It's going to be fucking sick. And you're on Story Wars as well. I'm not on The Depraved. You're on The Depraved. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are.

I am not. I have my own show on the seventh. The Depraved is the eighth. Yeah, I are. I am not. I'm on, I have my own show on the seventh. The depraved is the eighth. Yeah, I don't work the eighth. Me too. What is the deprave? It's just, it's a dirty show. You start with your most fucked up joke. Ooh.

No, no, no, it's the best. Ooh. You have to start with your- Ooh. Ooh. Oh, you don't understand. I don't know. I don't know if you're fucking-

Dude, we're depraved. Dude. You can't get in here. Dude. I don't think your head can handle this. Don't bring your sensitivity to this show. But listen, it's not just that you don't touch me. The start with your most fucked up joke.

Don't touch me. And you have to don't touch go from there. Don't touch me. I'm bringing Zach Amico with me as well. We're doing three wars live next weekend. I'm in North Charleston, South Carolina for the first time. Very excited about that. San Diego at the end of the month and a lot of other stuff.

I'm going to Europe with Scott Chaplin. We're going to Amsterdam, Glasgow, Dublin. A lot of fans have been, hit me up about you going to Europe. Who? A lot of fans on my Patreon are excited that you're going. I'm very excited about this. Lots of stuff coming up. My special's being taped in Tampa.

Bobby Kelly's directing is gonna be a blast. That is July 12th at SideSplitters. There's like maybe 20 tickets left for each show, so get those tickets early. And yeah, make sure you check out all my other pods. Legion of Skanks and Story Wars. Sadly, this will be out tonight. People will know I'm no longer doing Louis and Zach

after Friday. Right. Thank God. Every time I got that text. I want to call Zach and congratulate him. Oh my God. He can finally. He picks up and goes, this is about to show.

Yeah, he can get successful now. Go to PunchUp.live slash Robert Kelly. My special live from the Village Underground that was buried on Amazon. I actually just released it on PunchUp.live, and it's going to stream. This new app has this great, you can stream stuff Friday night, eight o'clock,

live from the Village Underground. You can download the app as a consumer and have the Punch Up Live app watch all the comedy you want uncensored right on your phone. And you can also cast it from the app to your TV so you can watch it there too. So that's this Friday night. And of course next week, the ninth, I'm in Nashville at Zane's doing my own show.

And then I'm doing Story Wars. Apparently I'm doing this edgy, crazy show on the eighth called depraved. Good look at your brain back Yeah, go to church on Sunday cuz you're gonna need it, you know, I'm trying to sell tickets guys. No, seriously go Christ we stop but you fucking scared. It's a great show dog. It's gonna be sold out Austin 18th and 19th at mother mother fucking ship Maldon falconship and then I'm all over the place so go to mypunchup.live slash Robert Kelly and join that and you'll find out where I'm gonna be. God bless. Back to the show. Okay, oh so we got this gift guys. Oh what is it? What is it? We got a gift. Let me see. Joe, Bobby Lewis.

My name's... Me? Where the fuck am I? And you're actually second. what this, Joe, Bobby Lewis. My name's. What about me? What the fuck am I? You're actually second. It's Joe, Dan, Bobby Lewis. They put it in order of best to last. Chad GBD thinks the order of funniest is Dan, Joe, me, Bobby. Jesus, that's what Chad GBD said.

No, Grock said that. Follow me on stage, then. Yeah, Bobby's a funny one. Deereggs, here you go, here, read that. Cause it's. Oh, it's cursive.. Dear Regs, here you go, here read that. Oh it's cursive, I'm not guys. I'm not doing this. As card collectors, comedy fans, and podcast enthusiasts,

we were excited to see the Alan and Ginter checklist this year. We ripped quite a few packs in pursuit of the Joe, Dan, and Bobby cards. We wanted to put something together to show our appreciation for the laughs and content, but we didn't want Lewis to feel left out. Hope you enjoy this token of our gratitude, and we look forward to seeing you all onstage near us.

Parentheses, relatively speaking, since we live in Southwest Virginia, where I'm going on vacation. Thanks, Brittany and Jeremy. Could you send nudes, Brittany and Jeremy? Brittany and Jeremy, I'll be at Richmond Funny Bone. I don't know how close Richmond is to where you are. This is really great.

All right, let's see it. Yeah, that's hilarious. Louis Gomez from the Blue Jays is on it. That is fucking great. Perfect. It's Louis Blue Jay Okerson Gomez. We gotta get that hung up right there. That's unbelievable.

I hate it. Thank you guys so much. I'm gonna release my own fucking cards and just not include you guys. You do, Skankfest right there. That's unbelievable. I hate it. Thank you guys so much. That's beautiful. I'm gonna release my own fucking cards and just not include you guys. You do, Skankfest every year. Yeah, well. But you include us.

I make my own everything. Yeah, make your own baseball card. I'm gonna make my own airline. Welcome to make your own baseball card. With Louis T. Gomez. I do make my own everything. I'm gonna make my own pen. Why do you need glue?

You can make your own glue. Bobby's naming things he can see right now. Cameras, television sets. I make my own money. I have my own water coming out. He's's naming things he can see right now. Cameras, televisions. I make my own money. I have my own water cup. He's like, Joe, and then he goes, water cup, Joe List. Did you just say you made your own Joe List? Lewis really does, if he gets mad, he's like,

I'll do it myself. I will do it myself. I don't need anybody. I don't need anybody. I will make my own cards. Why would you make your own? Guys, Doc's the CEO of Tops. You already did make your own cards, just Skankfest cards.

Yeah, but not those types of cards. Yeah, the good ones. I don't need anyone. Oh, Skankfest tickets are on sale May 2nd, I should say that. Woo! Skankfest tickets are on sale May 2nd. Everyone here will be there.

We're doing the Reg Live. Such an awesome guest you got for the surprise guest. Say nothing. What? Say nothing, the musical act. In the Orleans. You never told me. You won't care. In the Orleans. You never told me. You won't care. In the Orleans.

Oh, it's some shitty. It's Billy Joel. It's like, what? Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for Turn off the lights. Oh don't try and save me. Lewis, throw me a fish Dolphin mouth. Dolphin mouth. Folks, we got a brand new sponsor here at the regs and I am pumped about it Because there's one thing I love in this world. It's CBD. Oh my god, you can't get enough of it. I'm all CBD. Oh The only thing I love in this world, it's CBD. Oh my God, you can't get enough of it. I'm all CBD.

C-O-C. Oh, it's cornbread, full spectrum CBD gummies. They got watermelon, berry, and peach. Oh dude, and it is, listen, I understand that I'm not like a young drug, I'm not like, hey, I'm gonna do, but I'd still like, you know, I like to take a little relaxation,

and cornbreads, hemp, CBD gummies are a huge piece of my wellness, my well mental wellness plan. Absolutely. The best way to be well CBD. Yeah. Life's been a little crazy for me lately. You know me. I got a baby. I got a wife. I got a herpes. One thing that helps me unwind cornbreads, hemp, CBD gummies. I'm all over the hemp baby. You love the hemp. They're made to help you feel better, whether it's stress, discomfort, or just needing a little relaxation. Formulated to help relieve discomfort, stress, and sleeplessness. All products are third-party, lab-tested, and USDA-organic to ensure safety and purity. Today's Hemp Day. Hemp day. Folks. Right now the Regz listeners can save 30% off their first order.

Just head to cornbreadhemp.com slash regz with a Z because we're nasty. And use the code regz at checkout. That's cornbreadhemp.com slash regz and use code regz. R-E-G-Z. God, we're so bad. And we're back. We're back in and we're hanging out. Just chillE-G-E. God, we're so bad. And we're back. We're back in, we're hanging out, or we're looking around.

Nonchalant, go. Do you boys wanna talk about your little small batch cigars? I'm talking about my small batch. I just had an idea. Just a moment ago. At some point this summer, we'd record an outdoor REGS episode. So we can smoke. Using our small batch.

Exactly. I love that. And sucking our small patch. I brought my small batch down to Florida for the Vecchio and Katie wedding and I was sucking them down like fucking Pepsi. Suck suck sucking on. You know since Joe's been getting the small batch I haven't gotten. Really? Yeah. That's weird. They're trying to turn us against each other. My labels say RPK on them. I don't know what that is. That's my name. Is labels say RPK on them. I don't know what that is. That's my name.

Is that right? Robert Patrick Kelly. How would I have known that? I don't know. That's crazy. You're getting my... It says RPK, just for you. That's all right, I have a thousand cigars.

Listen, small batch cigars. I'll tell you right now, Andrew set out in 2012 to revolutionize the online experience. Lightning fast shipping, first online vendor to provide free shipping on every order along with Boveda pouches to ensure the freshness and Davidoff Hall of Fame retailer. That's amazing.

When you get these things, it's free shipping. Every order is two to three days, free Boveda packs, and the most thorough packaging in the industry. Use code, what? Regs 10. Discount code for 10% off plus 5% reward points. Use the code REGS with a Z because you know we can't have being the regular ass REGS. REGS 10. REGS 10 is a discount code for 10% off plus 5% rewards all at smallbatchcigar.com Free shipping on every order. Almost every order delivers in two to three plus 5% rewards all at smallbatchcigar.com.

Free shipping on every order. Almost every order delivers in two to three days. How great are those Boveda packs, Joe? They're awesome, I love those Boveda packs. And you know what was nice? I was in Florida at Ari's house. I didn't know this about Ari. Now you and me, we smoke fucking hard cigar.

Like I want nine out of nine strength. Sure. Ari doesn't touch that stuff. No, he's a light, he's a light. He likes a light smoker, because he's a, you know what? Whoa. So'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm easily the most, that's the most thorough packaging in the industry. It's opposite of penises. If it gets hard, it's bad.

If it gets soft, it's good. It depends on your relationship with penises though. True. Again, use code REGS10, that's with a Z, discount code for 10% off plus 5% reward points. All right. Where were we? Who went to get the food?

I want a fresh brownie. This is all old and orange. You may be wrong. I thank you for that by the way. How are you just eating brownies as an adult in life? Yeah, before noon. It's crazy. He has the taste buds of a fucking five year old. Yeah, for real. Chicken fingers are his duckler wrong. Chicken fingers, pizza. That's crazy. Can I tell you the other day? Yeah, you know what he has? Hold on, he has a sleepover palette. Any food that would be good for sleepover? What are you telling me? What are you telling me? What do you want to tell me, Bob?

That's a good joke, I don't care. I thought it was good. Well, I want to know what you're gonna tell me. But you did a hold on, so we all thought it was good. All right, gimme it. Well, we all did a preface. What do you want to say? I'm saying this, so I did your show last week.

Great show. At Sesh? Hot show. Yeah. Pretty wild. It's unbelievable. Sold out. Pretty wild.

Hotest show in town. It's in that area. What the wheel? You go down to the basement. Johnny Towne. It's pretty pretty wild. It's unbelievable. So you wild. How to show it in that area. You go downtown basement and it's pretty it's pretty fun. Where the Beastie Boys made license to. So we go down and we do it. And then. You order food. I ordered pizza. You know, you didn't you ordered pizza. Yeah, he ordered.

There's like six of us, maybe seven comics. And Tim Dillon. He ordered two small pizzas. That's not true. They're this big. I didn't know they were small. They were this big. They were this big.

I asked if anyone wanted pizza. You know we eat pizza. Literally, everybody who saw the pizza go, pizza's here, and they went. First of all. Fucking angry. Was this Back to the Future 2? Tim Dillon was like, what the fuck is that?

Did you see the promo for, did Tim show you the promo for a special? No. It's gonna fucking blow people's heads off. Why? Oh yeah, I can't wait. I can't say it. Can I see it?

I can't say the promo. I got two 14-inch pieces. He literally said, don't send, don't tell anybody. And he showed it to me. I'll tell you guys afterwards. It's fucking. I know about it. It's wild.

I can't wait. It's, the promo is bonkers. I can't wait. It's crazy, I bonkers. I can't wait. It's like what he's out of his mind. You know, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. I got it. Can't wait. It's crazy. I got two 14 inch. That's 28 inches of pizza. Now it was, it was this, it was this big, this big. That's your pizza alarm. Does somebody say pizza three times? Dude, you can't say it's my beetle juice. It's like my beetle juice, but it's pizza, dude. Did you have any pizza?

No, because it wasn't enough. I felt bad if I had a slice. That's bullshit. I had like seven slices. Nobody was eating it. Everybody, when you were on stage doing your thing when the pizza came, everybody was like, what the fuck? Everybody was like, Joe's sauce.

There was a sold out room. There was four cups. Sold out room. What do you want me to do, feed everyone pizza? We're all doing it for nothing. This is crazy. No, I'm Venmo-ing you. I haven't was four- Sold out room. What do you want me to do, feed everyone pizza? We're all doing it for nothing. This is crazy. No, I'm Venmo-ing you. I haven't Venmo-ed you yet.

But these guys didn't take the money. We don't take the money because we're friends. We're not taking the $50 spot. I'm in it for the art. Buy your kid something. Okay, great. Why don't you buy him a large pizza? That's good.

I got two 14-inch pizzas. And by the way, how many companies comes for the show? It was Matt Wayne Yeah, Sarah Talamash. Keep going you yeah and Tom Dustin who literally does not eat food and he says I ate yesterday No, that's not true. That is true. You had four open micers that showed up to support. That's fucking their fault Doesn't matter dude. They're there you have to take care of them I will say when I do a show like we'll ever did a brave show, we'll have food back. Oh, but it's sick and twisted. What if I told you it's pie made of bugs?

It's a live heart. It's Justin's code. It's Elkhart covered in fuckers. You should stay out of this conversation. What? Skankfest, it's impossible to eat. What? It's horrible.

That's true. It's fucking horrible. That was last year. Not this year. Everybody is starving. Oh brother, they're going to be beignets. They're going to be gay. to eat. It's horrible. It's fucking horrible. Not this year. Oh brother they're gonna be beignets, they're gonna be gator, they're gonna be everything. It's gonna be gator? You're gonna catch your mouth shut.

Why? We had one year we had a buffet we were huddled in a fucking hallway. That was weird. Eating like mac and cheese this much. Hold on the green room is not stocked the whole fucking time though? Yeah with pretzels. It's stocked with chips! And it's also stocked with a bunch of comics you don't fucking know. Yeah, you have to walk in and go like this. Pretzels and gummy bears. And alcohol, you guys don't drink because you're faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Cigar Lounge this year is gonna be wild. Well they should put food in there. Yeah. Have food in there because that's where we go. Because all those comics that nobody fucking knows that takes over the green room, you walk in and it's like a bunch of vampires.

No. They just stare at you like, oh he's here. The food is literally atrocious. Uncomfortable. We had that, this year we had the diner thing. No, this year was good. It was like show up with a coupon. It took me 58 minutes to get a burger that was half cooked.

I want Cigar Lounge bands that I give out to certain people Oh, I think meant like musician now like wristbands to be like Joe you Bobby we called the Bobby Kelly cigar It's not not called that what I called that what is it called? You don't do it loud fuck. It's called the dude. I'll be fucking guy without a hat Why don't we open your lounge called guy without a friend That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. time. First of all, I didn't lose it. I gave it as a gift. Yeah. You can't lose something you gave. For the record.

I gave it as a birthday present. You made me roll. No, I'm taking this back, dude. Oh, come on. What happened to the bomb dinner? It's gone again. I could use that. You want it?

Bobby's clutch. Today I'm working out. Oh, yeah. Were you going to give me a bomb dinner for that? No, I was just curious. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Back to Skankfest. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

What? Back to Skankfest. What? Stop making fun of my lounge. It's my lounge. First of all, hey, hey, hey, back to Skankfest. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, what? Back to Skankfest. What? It's not making fun of my lounge. No, it's my lounge. First of all, I invented it. I came up with it. It's all my, you're, you're, I play the orchestra, you're a flautist. Dude, you don't even know what's going on. I got fucking Christine and Rebecca to make the lounge. You think Rebecca and Christine make any decisions? That's what they said. They said the exact opposite. They said exact opposite of you. They go, we give Lewis a fake computer. I talked to-

It's one of those kids ones. It's like what they, you know, they said that they used to do that to Elon Musk at, I think it was like PayPal or something where they'd give him like a fake- PayPal, yeah. PayPal, they'd give him a fake rhythm and then he would like go and then at the end, Peter Thiel would take it back and be like, all right, we're gonna actually do the work.

So he couldn't do anything so funny. If I found that out, I would wanna kill myself. So Skagfest. Yeah. The Lounge. Yeah. The Dude Lounge. Dude Lounge.

Dude Cigar Lounge. Which is a hit. It is a hit. It's too big of a hit. It's a hit. It's not, well, God, honestly, but I think we do need to regulate a little bit. They did a great job last year

because they had the guard right there. Yeah. And they wouldn't let people. We call them the cigar. Hey. Louis is hot today. I'm going to. We should have snacks in the fucking lounge. We had drinks last year. Drinks are good. But you know, these weren't snacks while they're smoking a cigar. Yeah, they do. Cause you, when you. You got some fritos. No, before and after. Cause when you get lightheaded or whatever, a little snack to get your sugar back up. A little peckish. Yeah they do because you when you get lightheaded or whatever a little snack to get your sugar back a little peckish yeah a little peckish. What kind of snacks? Dude some snacks. I think butter crackers brownies chocolate chip cookies yeah. You should have donuts. Spicy gumbo. What type of snacks are good to go with a cigar lounge? No one should

be eating snacks with a cigar. Why are you asking them? What do you mean by that? We're here, we smoke. You don't know snacks for cigars. Maybe pretzels or nuts. No, it's not. Pretzels or nuts. You're nuts. No, you need sugar because the sugar neutralizes

the tobacco, which actually gets you sick. So when you get sick from smoking a cigar, have a piece of candy or a piece of chocolate and it helps you, or Coca-Cola. Is that true? Absolutely. Dark chocolate, dark chocolate will be good. I think nuts, pretzels, dark chocolate, that's it. Peanut butter crackers. Yeah, I like peanut butter crackers. Famous Amos. Yeah, it's got a little salty and a little sweet.

Let's see, this says savory snacks like nuts, olives, charcuterie, cheese cubes, beef jerky, sweet snacks like dark chocolate, chocolate covered espresso beans or dried fruits. Dried fruit? You're a dried fruit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Buddy, just have some snacks. Just get some snacks. Things to avoid.

Messy or greasy or overly pungent foods. Pungent. Yeah, just get some snacks. Onion rings. How is the food gonna be different this year? How are you gonna go in and get food? Without it all being, without a bunch of open micros from Austin fucking eating it up?

I mean, you know, go buy your own food. We do, we have to. If Bobby does, he brings it back. Yeah, we go to Denny's. We have to, we have to. The Denny's did rule, shout out that Denny's in Las Vegas. Denny's is good, right there, that was fun. We spent some time there, what a great time.

This Gang Fest is the best. This one's gonna be the best one we've ever done. I'm gonna miss that diner in the fucking hotel, and the hotel is so good. Saginaw's? That hotel. I don's gonna be the best one we've ever done. I'm gonna miss that diner in the fucking hotel. And the hotel is so good. Saginaw's? Oh yeah.

I don't know. I've never been to that hotel. It's cause you're an asshole. They could have sent you there every year. You just gotta ask. You chose to go to your fucking dumb horseshoe. No, I trusted. Well I will say that at the Golden Nugget,

the sweets have fucking saunas in them. What? Also, that was the best. No. Swear to God. Yeah, but you didn't give us sweets over there. I had junior sweet, had no sauna. You had junior sweet. You got a fucking whole. Sauna, sauna was the best. No. Swear to God. Yeah, but you didn't give us sweets over there. I had junior sweets. I had no son.

You had junior sweets. You got a fucking whole son. Son of a bitch. Fucking dang hooks the fucking. Well, I get it. I get a sweet in the... The sweet. All right.

Whatever they call it. We got to make a movie. We got to... Hey, let's crowd source the movie because we're not going to get people to give us money. Let's go get the young people. I mean, I bet... Listen, listen, a million dollars to Nate is literally nothing. We don't need a million dollars.

We need a quarter of a million. I guess, what do you want, three of those? You talk to him. Can we get a little, like one percentage of his new park? I'll have a sec. That'd be great. Yeah, but I'm thinking, instead of doing that, I'll just ask Nate for the money to buy my house.

What? No, this movie will blow up. I'm in theaters all across the country with unknown Tom Dustin. What are we gonna do about your movie or are we gonna write a movie with us four? That'd be a good, let's write a movie with us four about a podcast that gets fucked up

into some crime thing where actually Lewis has. Oh, I wish that went over. Mid movie pitch, he goes, there's a thing right, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, it's everywhere. Dude. Dolphin mouth. Get it. That's the opening of the movie right there. I spill it. Yeah. And you follow the credits down. I look down into the water. By the way, we got one guy already invested 20 grand to the doc. How much you need to our doc? How much you need?

Yeah. Who? I don't know. He's a fan. We need like 150. 150 minimum. Alright, I'll give you 150 really you'll be in the movie As what and it'll be an investment you'll get paid back off me fucked hard I know but they're just gonna cut you go. Hey, I gave a hundred thousand dollars. You must have some rich fans I do I had when I for comedy camp. I had to get investors It's a hard thing to raise money for a film I know but I do know a couple people that might be interested. Get it.

Oh dude. Yeah, nobody's gonna invest in that, Joe. Yeah, there's also a bet. You're like, give us money. Joe, I'll give you 100,000 right now for that. You do it right now again. Oh, I actually. If you get a fart out right now.

I'd literally. If you shit your pants, I will give you the money. There was a poop right behind it. I could hear it. I can hear farts and know how close poops are. If I told you my idea for a show, Story Wars is nice, well done. Here's an idea for a show. Wow! You mean the hit show Story Wars? It's a great show. The hottest podcast. The new fucking Kill Tony.

I said go! Here's the idea. I've told you before probably. Okay, you know when you have to shit, you kinda know what kind of shit it's gonna be. Yeah. We get a, not a stenographer, what's the art, sketch artist, everyone explains this is the kind of shit I'm about to take. The sketch artist draws it, then you take your shit,

we compare the drawing to the photo, and whoever's closest wins. $100,000 I'm in. Yeah, but we all have to shit. That's good. Because I am so good, I'm like, this shit is gonna be pebbly with a little streak. You're like a poop sommelier?

Yes. You kinda know what's coming? You know what kind of shit you're gonna take. Sometimes I'm like double tapered log, baby leg, fucking sticks out. Sometimes I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, that felt good and I look and there was barely a thing

and sometimes I go, that was an easy poop and I look and I go. Sometimes, like a thing and sometimes I go That was an easy poop and I go yeah, sometimes like right now I'm having a lot of grumbling right like I have to shit really bad me too I think we went to Capitol Grill last night for my birthday I fucking ate happy bird like a slob and now I have to ship and I feel like it's gonna be a watery Spray shit. This is the show So then a guy sketches it And then whoever predicts their own shit the most gets double points? Double points.

Double points. Yeah. Who's calling you? Don't answer it. Who? No, I'm not calling to. Who is it? It's Harrington.

He's, uh, oh, come on. Dude, that was just... Ew. Ew, Joe. Gnome has to use that microphone later. Gnome has to battle Dave Smith on that microphone later. They go power fighting. Are they doing that? Oh yeah, they like go at each other all the time.

Is Dave doing the show? No, he's above Gnome's fucking shitty show. I love Gnome and the show. What? What? What, Dave is uh Dave's good Dave's great Dave is we had that line. I told Dave is the most successful person. We know besides me. It's crazy Shane

Dave's Louie He's getting up there. Yeah, we know successful people a lot of people have passed us. Yeah We know a lot of successful people. A lot of people have passed us. Yeah. Sucks. Whew, that sucks. It sucks. Shoo, shoo, go.

Bobby's been in the business for 40 years. You've had a people that have passed him. The regs really is just like a gas station on the side of the highway where they go, oh, there goes Shane Gillis. Oh, there goes Tim Dillon. Bobby's got a bandana on a stick, just watching his friends pass him.

The only person that hasn't passed me is you. Where the hell's this coffee run? What Starbucks did they go to? You're a renter. I mean, not for long. But that doesn't mean anything as well. You keep on saying being a renter is anything. You've invested.

You own nothing. You've invented your, I own an Acura TLX. You don't own it. I do own it. You bought it? Yeah, I bought it. Why? Because I don't want to have it I'm buying a house and I don't want to put any more things on my credit. Let me just tell you viewers at home I'm watching across the table. They're starting to get actually mad. No, no, no, I'm not but we keep something going like he's a renter

It's a small-minded. Hold on. It's a small-minded mentality. Now how much money have you guys lost? The American dream is not buying a house. The American dream is being an entrepreneur. And I own multiple fucking businesses that are all successful and profitable. I own multiple businesses too, but I own my house. I own houses. You own a house and a tiny house. It doesn't count. I own three plots of land. Tiny house doesn't count.

Tiny house is a Lego house. It's still a house. The word house is in it. I can buy a tiny house literally in cash tomorrow. Whoa! My Acura costs as much as your tiny house. 100%. Bring up a tiny house.

Go do it. Go buy it. I'm not going to because it's the shitty investment. Go buy it. Nobody wants a tiny house. Go do it. Go buy it. Go buy it. I'm not going to because it's a shitty investment. Go buy it. Nobody wants a tiny house. Go buy it and put it in your driveway so you can own a house. Fuckface. A tiny house is a $30,000 investment.

That was a good one. He don't get it. He's getting angry. He's getting triggered. He's getting triggered. I'm an entrepreneur. You found out to get mad at him. Steve Jobs didn't know anything.

Louis' N-word is calling him a renter. They call me an entrepreneur. He goes, I'm an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. You found out to get mad at him. Steve Jobs didn't know anything. Lewis's N-word is calling him a renter. Yeah. Because he's an entrepreneur. Yeah, he goes, I'm not a renter. Stop using that.

Especially with a hard R. I'm a renter. Lewis is rent-tarded. You cocksuckers both rent. Yeah, why'd you come up with a pun? Dan is fucking, Dan's rich. But how much money have you lost in the stock market since you know what started happening?

You know what, dude? I'm down like 14 grand. That's all mutual funds though. So it doesn't matter. Put it in Bitcoin, Bitcoin's gonna fucking blow up in the next 10 years. Like literally just take, yeah. Okay.

A lot, a lot. I invest in fun. Where's that bomb, David? Where's our second coffee run? I know, I think they went to the original Starbucks and fucking did the ad. What if Joe went by a bus? I don't mean to go off on a rant here, babe.

This coffee's taking longer. Do you have money in the stock market or just in mutual funds? What is this? I don't know what that means. What are you? I gave it to a guy, he didn't believe me. Who are you?

Why are you talking about these? Now why do you say Bitcoin's gonna blow up? It's gonna blow up. Why do you say, you've been saying that for a long time. It has blown up. It went from, Bitcoin, literally in 2016, Bitcoin was worth like $500 a coin. Oh, there it is.

And that was worth over $90,000 and it hit 107. This was a microphone. Still is. Yeah. I have friends that are like really, really big into crypto trading and they're like, dude, literally they're like, don't even buy a house. Take all your savings and put in Bitcoin. They all I'm telling you, it's going to take off to

the sky. And then in five years, Louis goes, I got nothing. There's no electricity. It's just goddamn apocalypse out there. Phones are gone. It turns out that crypto coins weren't even real things. You kidding me? It was nothing. I'm scared. I don't know how to eat. I have to go live in Bobby's tiny house. I don't know. Why did I listen to this guy? Turns out a tiny house is a real house. Especially when you have no money. Turns out cryptocurrency was just like monopoly money.

And now it's all gone. Think you guys are retarded. I mean dude, I got a guy that doesn't answer his phone on Saturdays telling me not to, no I'm just kidding. I get Bitcoin because fucking dickhead took a thousand dollars and bought it. Come on in you sexy fuck. Is it up?

No. Yeah, it must be. Thank you. I bought XRP. Somebody tell me to buy that. Oh, everything else. This conversation sucks. To you it does.

Yeah, no one gives a fuck. Not to us entrepreneurs. Oh my God. Do you calling him a renter and him fucking going through the roof? One of the funniest moments of my life. You put the manure and entrepreneur And then there's Joe. So this is no this and then there's Joe. Did you get the brownie Joe?

Well damn oh Guys, oh My god Bobby. How much do you love the Lucy nicotine patches and gum? How much do you love the Lucy nicotine patches and gum? Lucy! Lucy in the sky with diamonds. I like that too. Thank you. Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.

Destination unknown. Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, so ho. That's fun. It's 100% pure nicotine, always tobacco free. Plus Lucy isn't like every other nicotine pouch company that is owned by Big Tobacco. They're a mom and pop organization. How do you like that, Dan?

Dude, I love it. Pouches come in a variety of strengths. So you can order what you want from four milligrams all the way up to the big dogs, 12 milligrams. And like Joe was saying, they got a unique variety of flavors, Apple Ice, Wintergreen. I know for a fact that Bobby Kelly loves the espresso.

Good morning. And if you're not a patch guy. I ate it with my pinky up. Oh, you're so fancy. I put it in my mouth with my pinky up. Lucy gum is also available in 2 milligrams, 4 milligrams, or 6 milligrams. So set yourself up with a subscription

and head to Lucy, delivered straight to your door. Guys, let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to Lucy.co. regs, that's with the Z because we're cool, and use promo code regs, R-E-G-Z, to get 20% off your first order. Lucy offers free shipping and has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind. That's Lucy.co code regs, R-E- regs reg z to get 20% off and always free shipping and here comes the fine print Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified warning this

product contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical Wow let's get back in I'm about to fucking bomb and I can't believe it's only fucking what are you auditioning for I'm gonna fucking bomb why I'm gonna fucking bomb. Why do you think you're gonna bomb? Because I don't know it. You're gonna beat a bomb. Oh my God, I love that positivity. You're my friend. Two friends in the room. I love that positivity. Two friends in the room.

Yeah, I think you're gonna be great. Thanks, guys. Renters are all friends. Woo! Rent, you know what we do? Rent friends. Rent friends. Rent friends.

It only took me 15 minutes to get here. I took a train two stops. Choo, choo. I mean, I was at risk of getting stabbed at any second. I mean, I'm pretty sure that, yeah, I'm getting ripped off because our hot water barely works, but I'm pretty sure that, yeah, I'm getting ripped off because our hot water barely works, but I'm pretty sure that, yeah, I'm getting ripped off because our hot water barely works, but I'm pretty sure that, yeah, I'm getting ripped off because our hot water barely works, but I'm pretty sure that, yeah, I'm getting ripped off because our hot water barely works, but I'm pretty sure that, yeah, I'm getting ripped off because our hot water barely works, but I'm pretty sure that, yeah, I'm getting ripped of getting stabbed at any second. I mean, I'm pretty sure that, yeah, I'm getting ripped off because our hot water barely works.

Are you doing it with the guy? Yeah. So you're doing it with the mother fire. Yeah. The audition? Yeah. Whoa. I'm a little big director.

We all know his name. Doesn't that make you better? Oh, come on. Say the name. That's better. Because I'm not going to get it. And I don't want to go like, oh, Dan, that's so much better though, because on, say the name. That's better. Because I'm not gonna get it. And I don't wanna go like, oh. Dan, that's so much better though. Because you do with these fucking casting people, they don't give a shit.

They're just rolling people in. When you do with that guy, he'll be like, try it this way. My manager was like, you don't have to be completely off book, but I'm gonna feel nervous. You're gonna be great. I'm not good at auditioning. Give us a line.

Go. Be you. No. Just a line. That was a line. No. No, I'm not giving you a line. That was a line. No. No, I'm not giving you a line. That was a line.

That's actually, I showed you the script ago. God damn, that actually is a line. I'm not good at auditioning. It's a guy who's greedy with his coke. No, I'm not giving you a line. Yeah. Saint Germain's wife is a casting director and she told me who's good at auditioning.

Maybe she should cast him in something. Well, she said like comics aren't really good at auditioning. She's like comics him in something. Well, she said like comics aren't really good at auditioning. She's like comics aren't, they don't come in and audition. I went in after Voss once in an audition, and they were like, he's not that good. That's so funny. Because they were friends of mine.

Anyway, I'll be outside telling C.D. And they go, you're auditioning for a movie. Seinfeld told a story they had the show on for nine years, and they said every actor they ever auditioned had like multiple interpretations. They would take requests, what do you call it, notes and all the things. He said every comedian we ever auditioned,

it was like we were just ruining their day. That's so funny. They were just put out. They were like, I don't know, yeah, so the bus is late. Okay, is that good? That's how it feels. That's actually how it feels. All right, fuck.

That's not the story. What is it? He ruined the story. What? The story was you could tell actors from comedians when we looked in the hallway, because the actors were rehearsing their lines, redoing it, like this is the moment that could define them.

This is their big break, and every comic looked like, oh, this is fucking up my afternoon. That was the story. Okay, well he told this story also. Maybe he told both stories. All right, well, I'm just saying. God damn. I'm sure you consume more side-fill than me.

This is why you're not a rent friend. Whoa, you're out. I don't want to be a rent friend. I want to be an owner. I want to be an owner buddy. Lonely owners, that's what we call you guys. I'm an owner buddy. You want to be an owner, you want to sit in traffic and have to fix your own roof and your own plumbing, you want to fix the flood in the yard.

You don't want a door guy. You don't want a doorman to take your packages. You want them stolen off your front yard. I love it. I owned an apartment in the city. You want to have to own a gun and a stolen off your front yard. I love it. I had it. I own an apartment in the city. You want to have to own a gun and a fucking, you know, you need to have. I own guns. I love guns. Yeah, dude. That's what you want.

I love guns. You want guns in the house. I love a gun. Pew pew. I love a gun. I have many guns. I have five guns in my tiny house. I have so many guns. You don't have a tiny house, you have a gun locker that you sleep in. His rifles still have to stick out the door a little bit. Don goes, can you move one of them outside? We've got to shut the door. She has to hold one at night.

She goes, can you hand me the AR? It's chilling. I do have an AR. She's like, dude, I'm right for taking it. What do you have on AR? What do you mean, what do you have? What do you have for? It's so funny if someone robs your house and takes your guns and you go, well, now what

am I supposed to do? It's funny. I did, I write particular. What do you have on AR? What do you mean, what do you have? What do you have for? It's so funny if someone robs your house and takes your guns and you go, well now what am I supposed to do? Because we're a member of a gun club up in New Hampshire and we go shooting all the time. Yeah. Yeah, that's why, what do you mean?

Why do you have a fucking. Do you have your land? Do you have your land? Let him finish, what do you have what? He saved me on that one. Yeah, you said nothing. As soon as he started talking I went. Yeah.

I went, what are you gonna, and he went, do that again, thank you. It's such a cuck. Fucking Dan, Dan saving him from fucking self failure. I did want to hear what the equivalent that Louis Jones is. By the way, it was just a hand coming into the water, and Bobby was like, thank fucking God. I understand having a single gun in your house

for protection. To put in your mouth when you jerk off. I totally get pulling your pun with a fucking three 57 in your fucking dome. I'm going to come right out and say it best episode all time. Now, last one was nuts. I thought the last one was a little hurtful. I think this one is really good. Did he in a world? This one is really good. This one. I watched the In A World Bit back 15 times. I showed it to James, he's losing his fucking mind. He's like, what a Joe is.

I thought it was a little weak. Wait a minute, but his favorite number though, that was his favorite number. That was classic, that was good. Everyone that reached out and said they have a favorite number. Some people are like, why, dude, there was just bullying Dan.

Shut up, you fat. Oh, that is shit. Was wet shit is at the door. Shit shit is on the other side of your state right now. What is going to be your little? This is going to be a little muddy, a little wacky. Just a single piece. His thin little butthole is holding back a tremendous amount of.

No, people got really serious. They were like, I responded to one lady. One lady was like, this is why the men are lonely because you're mean. Which is gay. I thought it was so funny. I was like, we're busting balls on a comedy podcast. Can I tell you the gayest comment was one guy went, favorite number? Well, you clearly weren't an athlete. You're like, you sir are a f***. Why do you guys read comments? I just saw it because I was like.

We all read comments and so do you. The people that said they don't read guys read comments? I just saw it, because I was like. We all read comments, and so do you. The people that say they don't read comments read comments more than anybody out there. This is what I always say. First of all, I don't read comments, and I've never watched an episode of The Rigs. Why would I f***ing watch that? I watch it back, I f***ing, we have the clips,

we share them. I don't. I make Katie play the part of you, and then Myrtle's Lewis, and then we have Teddy Bear's Joe. It's psychotic to watch your s***. Yeah. I watch it back sometimes. It's psychotic. I watch the clips. Why is it psychotic? Because you did it, you're the guy bear as Joe. It's psychotic to watch your shit. Yeah. I watch it back sometimes.

It's psychotic. I watch the clips. Why is it psychotic? Because you did it, you're the guy who did it. Just like you listen to comedy sets, you listen back, you fucking get better. I listen back to my podcasts. I don't.

I listen to my comedy sets. I don't listen to my podcasts, but I listen to my comedy sets. You listen to your comedy set because you actually wrote a bit and you have to redo it every time and make it better. Got two new ones that are- You're never redoing an episode of a podcast.

You still know what you can do better. You can still be better. It's always trying to be better. I don't think it's crazy. That's a fucking, that's a renter's point of view. Rent friends. Rent friends. What's up?

Cool, I don't care. I'll fuck it with you. Bob, you could have rented a place just to be a rent friend. Hey, guys, you guys here? I got a new place in Jersey City. It's pretty cool. What's up with rent, huh? You guys didn't see me. It was the fucking rent guy in that game.

Okay. Yesterday, I was in the subway, and the guy walks up to me. The guy walks up to me. He's like, hey, man. He's like real excited. He's like, hey, man. And I was like, hey, what's up, buddy? He's like, fucking, I love your stuff.

I'm like, thanks, buddy. You know, okay, cool. And he's like, dude, Paul, right? Paul Verzi? And I was like, absolutely dude. Nice to meet you. And I just took the photo. You got it brother.

You got it brother. Here you go, Paul Verzi. Yeah, that's crazy that he's a fan of Paul Verzi. You fucking asshole. I hope Verzi calls you. I hope you get a sincere call from Verzi. Hey, hey, hey. I love Paul, Paul's great.

Hey man, what the fuck, I was on Story Wars and everything. Was he? Yeah, I did. No, I haven't, and that's why I'm bringing it up. Fuck me on Story. Or Joe's game, Guess the Poop. I like Guess the Poop. We have, tonight we have in Story Wars,

it's Rachel Feinstein, Drew Montana, and Keith Robinson. But what does Rachel's mom have to say about it? Yeah. She probably has to say her name is Rachel Feinstein. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Drew, and who's the other one?

Keith. Robinson? Yep. Oh, that's a good group. Yeah. Take four. I wonder whose story this is. I have a hard time walking and talking.

One time I was, one time I smelled burning. Whose story is that? One time I was one time I smelled burning One time I smelled burnt toast One time my smile only half work. I fucked Marina and Rachel who am I? His store his first stroke story is insane. He was having a stroke like so ours He drove to New Jersey and picked up a son drove back allking. His wife told him to fuck off and hung up on him. He's like, I think I'm dehydrated.

It's great, like he was seeing like wacky waves and stuff and finally was like, why don't you take my spot? Sip of water. And then they were like, if you had just come in nine hours ago, you'd be totally fine. Wow. Wow. That would make me so mad at myself. I'd be like, you motherfucker.

What would the second one do? Yeah, he'd go, rrrr. Again? I don't even really know what a stroke is. I think it's the blood. Loss of blood in your brain. Yeah. Ooh.

Usually from your heart or whatever, but it stops blood going to your brain and then your fucking shit goes warm. That's what sucks about getting older, thinking about all that heart attack. Think about it nonstop. I thought it was a blood clot went to your, right? Was it? Yeah, it's a blood clot. Went to your, right? Was it?

Yeah, it's a blood clot. A bumper clot. That goes up into your brain. Yeah, that's the same thing. You be a real rude boy. Fork in having your brain. It occurs when the blood flow to the brain is interrupted. Colors in brain cells to become damaged to die.

Then you gotta, then they gotta put up a hand ramp at the cellar. Dude, having a Jamaican doctor while you're having a stroke would suck. Like what's going on with ya? You'll be dying. But it's only caused by smoking and obesity. Ooh.

Bless you. Describe it. Describe it. It's gonna be loggy and slimy and low. I like that all of us have shits in our body right now. Dude, mine is, dude, it's becoming a problem. I gotta go do this audition with a full pack. I mean, dude, I have to shit so badly.

It's lovely to meet you. I have to duke like you wouldn't believe. Oh, okay, I guess. Did you shit before it? I don't know. Dude, it's at 11.30. You can't. But you gotta go.

You gotta go. I know. Where is it at? Midtown. Midtown? Why are you so cavalier about not leaving? I told them 1145. Okay Ah the truth well scheduled for 1130. Wow buddy. You gotta still go

That's all shit together friends. Oh, it's all poop in the same toilet all of our four but on top of each other You don't you don't flush until the last one Rags poke so bad last one to finish us to eat it. Oh Come on it Justin will scrub it right right up. Nom nom nom nom. God, I can't stop farting. That's the shit, I gotta wait. I really do, like, the more we talk about it, my body's like, you wanna let it loose?

Dude, that's so much caffeine. Because you know what's funny is I always wake up and shit, like, like, regularly, we're talking about it, but I took a shower early, and in the shower, I was like, I have to poop, it's the worst feeling in the world, because you're like. Just shit in the shower shower and then mush it down though drain with your foot Mushy Mike, that's how we get that nickname

Mine's becoming a problem too. Well, it's just lower body. So the red meat I had last night I almost want that isolated. Just that audio of him going, don't touch me. Don't fuck. It's a problem. Yeah, I'm close to shitting my pants. All right, so let's check it out. We're done, right? We're done.

No, we're not gonna be done. We can still go. He's gotta do a fucking audition. You have to take a shitty ass to shitty ass to shitty ass. I gotta drive the ballpark. I gotta go pay my mortgage. Listen. Thank you.

Thank you. Rent friends. This episode's gotta be called Rent Friends. Rent friends. All right, that be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend.

I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend.

I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'm going to be a friend. I'mustinDoc.com. Make sure you check out that. Donate money if you can for the new Skankfest documentary.

That's gonna be huge. Yeah. By the way, we put it up to the Skankfest email list and we said, we'll give you product. I bet you the fucking people that are at Skankfest would be dumb enough, I mean, smart enough to. It's gonna be a film. I mean, who doesn't want this to be forever?

Live, see it in the theaters, the big screen. We'll see you guys next week on The Rex. I love you.