Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Respekk

Episode Date: December 9, 2013

Robert is joined by TroyQuan, Dante Nero, Miguel Dalmau, Luis J Gomez, Kelly Fastuca and Chris Scopo. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Mao, a Madrid.

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¿Yos escucha Robert Kelly? ¿Y qué? En la RiotCast Network. RiotCast.com. I'm coming to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. That was trying to keep it like a comic-head. I have a bunch of guys on, it's just us sitting down. Yeah. And sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's intense. No topics of direction. I love doing it.

This podcast has no rules. Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already said to their record. It's rubber killing. You know what, dude? You know what,? No I do. I know what dude! I guess...

Unblade cast the gun. I guess the gun... Tied! Ah! Riiight! It's... I'm back in the low end. Alright man, that's it. We're fucking here.

Once again in the Rykecastcast Studios you know what podcast this is a fucking this is a this is a fucking great one today you have to know I'm a little late I do apologize to my guests I'm never late have I ever been late no not one time why are you wanting to him? Have I? Yeah, once like late like this late. Yeah, like five to minutes. All right. Go fuck yourself, Lou. I mean, I'm not saying it I'm saying it as like have fucking right fuck. I've been late before but not late like Lewis late First of all, I'm when I'm late I'm like a minute or two late and I sweat right because I'm running here because I know you're gonna fucking and I'm running Rollabletting because you're queer.

I took a cab today so I would only be one minute late. Someone's got money, someone's got money. Her name is Beatrice. Who laughs like Jay-Z? Who the fuck was that? Was that you? That was my gal problem. Yeah, I was a little late today. I apologize my my baby sister had a baby boy.

I needed to close a sear's account in order to get a fucking mortgage. Crazy every you do this and do that. We did it now you're gonna do this and that. Oh, we did that now we're gonna do this and that every fucking you think you get it all and then there's something else I just paid off a credit card. Just a crazy amount on a C.O.S. card when I Now we're gonna do this and that. Every fucking, you think you get it all and then there's something else. I just paid off a credit card.

Just a crazy amount on a C.O.S. card when I redid my kitchen. Payed it off, fuck you, done. We need it closed. Oh, he suck it, that, that, that, that. Is there a list of shit that you can just give me and I'll do it instead of telling me piecemeal? Every fucking four hours, you're telling me something to do?

It's grown up shit. It is grown up shit. It is grown up shit. It's good problems to have is what they say. You know, when you start telling somebody, you know, you get in a house, but it's not the point. It's still hard to do, you know, but anyways. My parents are dead. Actually, that's what this show is about today. Your parents aren't dead. That's what this shows about today. Your parents aren't dead. And for the

Dante, we figure out. Oh my God. Catch catch her. You fucking on a glove. Well, let's go through the room today. We have who should have been on the show a long time ago. But you know, you never asked, I never had you at your own show, I have my show. It's almost like, you know, I don't know, do you want to be on?

I mean, you can be on anytime you want. I mean, not really. But I don't call me next week. And you know, I mean, you're gonna be a regular person. I wanted to be on, I did. I did. but this is the way you ask this is so fucking aggressive You wouldn't the fuck you gonna have me on your fucking show How long is the show been on and they call my mother the N word She is a quarter nigger

I just said the N word so you say nigger See I know a good pan. I'm not a leader I just said the end word so you say nigger Well of course not that you should have been on Dante Nero here who has a very popular podcast Called the beige Philip show and the girl on your show. Yeah Heritage and Ian no what's her name she She's a senior in naked picture yet. I've been telling her to send you the blowjob video. What's her name? I forget it.

Mora. Mora. I love Mora. Yeah, she's a sweetie. I really, she's really cool. I want to have her on the show. I want to get Mora on the show. I should add her on today, but I just flaked and I know.

Yeah. She's in Texas. She just got packed. Really? Yeah. Okay. Well, we got to get her on the show. Um, and then we have, uh we have if you like the opening did you like the opening? How fun cuz this out this how you know The openings the shit cuz you and you were both fucking hip-hop assholes were bouncing your head to it Troy Quant who was the name of a guy who likes hip-hop

love Who is? Who made all the sweepers, the intro, the outro. He produced all of it. He's actually becoming, he's produced the, what is it? The one for Kathy, what's her call? The strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous with the new podcast is coming out With Kathy Kaye, which is a really great podcast. Basically they get callers They go to Craigslist and puts ads up and get calls to call in and they talk about all their weird shit

Freaky sex yeah freaky sex and domination and a guy fucked his friends fucking Life some some cre- all that crazy shit, but it's and they all call up a great little, you know, like King Tut, they'll have their fake names. But you did all the promos for her, all the production, and you did it with Jim Florentine's. Yeah. So you're slowly becoming the guy. If you have a podcast, if you want an intro, if you want your show to be professional, intro, outro sweepers, when you do commercials in the middle, how do they, how do they get in touch with you?

Tricquan, T-R-O-Y, Q-U-A-N, dot com, also on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, all that. And we'll start. Yeah. Yeah, just trying to get like a... Sharky-shut. If you're a chick with a fucking mighty mouse tattoo and escape word, you can probably even want to fuck this guy. Yeah.

But when I was a kid, one-cute fella. The way that I envisioned myself looking as an adult was exactly what Trichorn looks like. I'm an adult and I envision that. I would fucking love to have a bokeh. Just fucking tattoos. He's got a greaser hair. But he's five o'clock shadow. There's not one tattoo that stinks.

He like really shows his sleeves. He has sleeves, a full sleeve and then almost full. Almost full. You're kind of like if I was white, what I would wish I would look like, just change rates of like that's it. We just did the same joke three times. Oh.

And that brings us to the newest guy. Oh my god. Jesus, you're really fucking set yourself up for that. I'm a girl's gonna get fucking smash on this show Bring it on I wanted to be here for a long time Listen Miguel, so you're here Miguel what's your last name? I forget your last name? Dalmao I'm a gal, let's just call you a mickey D

Yeah, like when you come in I really wish this mickey D died instead It's you Oh, fuck Look man, he's bringing the fire early. That was quick. Look, look, man. It's funny, it's fucking fun. I'm sorry, that was funny.

Fuck all you guys. So we're, we got everything running now. Yesterday, in the last couple of weeks, we had a lot of malfunctions in the studio. Sound and me and Rob came in here last night with Scopo. And we cleaned everything up, fixed all the wires, plugged everything in, re-plugged everything in and figured out what was what. I couldn't hear myself last week. We're doing the whole show, I couldn't hear myself, couldn't turn it up, couldn't, you know what I mean?

It was a fucking nightmare. And then I found out that somebody, there's only two other people that use the studio, Rob's Branch, my partner at Ryecast, who is a stickler for everything putting everything back and Lewis Jay Gomez who's the word stickler doesn't come tomorrow Okay And my headphones they were just switched my headphones were over here So hold on the solution was just to check another pair of headphones But you were so fucked up because of that no because here's the thing is that my, why were my headphones switched? It wasn't switched, it was unplugged.

Like it was in a different bag. I didn't do that. I will tell you, I didn't do that. I will tell you, I didn't do that. Maybe they brought their own headphones. Maybe they brought their own headphones. No, I wish they did. I wish they brought their own fucking studio with them.

No, it was over here. So yeah, all, it sounds simple enough. But when you get a while, when you have to fucking unplugged shit and plug ship and then figure it out step by step audio is a motherfucker to figure out. You can't just say what is it? That's the last thing you'd say it was. You have the I'm thinking the sound the boards broke the wires shot wires a shot and then we oh this fucking nut this somebody Somebody you got me on camera somebody. Let me see Where how do I point the Lewis somebody?

fucking Switch the headphones with his new sound guy fucking Dan O'Muckle D. What's his name? Minnesota D Minnesota fucking day. Cutting from fucking Minnesota We give him a fucking radio name, Minnesota day. Yeah, I'm gonna give you a fucking radio boot off. So he caused me last night and it's like, dude. No, no, no, wait, let me just, let me set you up. Okay.

So then I get, I sit down at my microphone. My microphone, this is my mic. This is where I talk. He just smelled his mic. Right, because last night when I sat here, you know Troy, I got a weak stomach right I'll throw up. It looks it looks large and powerful, but it is weak Kelly no need for sound effect

I think you're just we're just trying to breathe I can well played I think Louis is funny when he's got that fucking dog in his hand like rolling it around like a drug He's always funny with a dog in a hand His mouth Fucking quia So anyways, I sit down as my girlfriend. I'm like what the it smells like somebody Fucking eight onions drank beer and then lick their own ball dick And then spit and puked on the microphone. It was terrible. Well, I will take credit for that one. That was well. I give it I go, but I'm

thinking maybe it's me. I give it to Scott. He's like fuck you. I give it to Sprance. Sprance. Oh my god. Sprance was smelling his own teeth though. And then I go, why does this stink? And then the scuffle goes, well, Louis was just standing there on the show. That's my scope on depression. I did not say that. He didn't say that, but you read him the opera? I didn't say that. He read him the opera. I didn't say that, I didn't say that.

He really didn't say that, but I just wanted to make the story better. I had to bridge something that I didn't know it really happened. No, but I was like, fucking Lewis. And it's, it's, cause he's drinking beer, you're smoking cigarettes. I'm not smoking cigarettes. Well then fucking, I'm taking you to my dentist.

You getting your teeth cleaned. No my teeth are fine, look. No, they're not. You do have great teeth. Thank you. But I'm gonna tell you, this happened to me around 10 years ago, okay? One last time I got a cleaning.

You answered my question. I mean maybe 15 years ago. Are you kidding me? I'm gonna do a dentist in the bathroom. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. It's 70 bucks, okay? Not even. If I have to pay for it,

I'm gonna pay for you to get you, because this happened to me a 10 years ago, I didn't have dental, I didn't have insurance. I didn't know you could get it. I didn't know how cheap dentists were. I didn't know you could go to certain places and get a cleaning, which will keep your teeth. You got good teeth.

You got great teeth. But because you like fucking fearing the expense of a dentist, I just, you know what dude, I fucking, I like, You know what dude? I have weird things with doctors in general. I don't like going to the doctor. I don't like going to the dentist. I'm afraid that like, I'm gonna go to the dentist

and they're gonna tell me that my fucking root canal is turning into brain cancer or something. Hang on, hang on one second. Serepochose just calling me. Let's just get him on the line. Brain cancer. Oh shit, sorry, wrong number. Oh that's, I mean, it's the right number,

but I called the wrong number. Sorry, it's Bobby. Okay, cool. Oh, right, bye. Glad they know me. They go apostle. They never even say, hey Bobby, let me call it a separate, real quick. Listen listen here's a deal what I'm saying to you is that

You're afraid of something you shouldn't be afraid my breath smell normally Bob yeah You want me honest you want me I want you to be honest with me my breath smells yeah, you get you have what I used to have How to say yeah, Jesus Christ you don't have to I'm trying to be delicate My breath smell Kelly hello How to tell sis. Yeah, Jesus Christ. You don't have to I'm trying to be delicate My breast milk. Hello. Hello hang on Shit, yeah, you fucking hey sir. I'm doing the podcast you're on the podcast Hey guys, we're talking about Lewis's fucking rotten tooth. I don't have a rotten tooth What's what's talking about? What's talking about? Are you calling me on the online?

Somebody from Apostles calling me online. What's talking about all kinds of shit? Do you go to the dentist? Yeah, of course I do. How much is the dentist cost? Um, depends on what I'm having done. Somewhere between 75 and 100. A cleaning?

Just get a cleaning. Yeah. A hundred bucks, 75 and 100. Yeah. All right, all the donations for the next month go to your cleaning. Fine, I'll get a fucking cleaning. He doesn't need a cleaning. He owns a boat.

I want the cleaning. That cleans his tape. Did you hear him? I didn't hear him. said you don't need a cleaning you want a boat Don't fake laugh at me sir. Oh Well, I'll talk to you. I'm gonna lay end on that one because you're not gonna get a bigger laugh with that. I'll probably win with done. Ah shit, Miguel, you gotta learn from the industry. You gotta be funny.

Oh shit. Yeah dude, I mean, you gotta go and you get your teeth because I'll tell you why, you might even brush your teeth every day. I brush my teeth every day, yeah, I fucking brush and floss every day. Yeah, but you know what happens. How do you think it looks so good?

Dude, your teeth are the brush and floss every day. Yeah, but you know what happens. How do you think it looks so good? Dude, your teeth are the same color as your cheeks. I thought, you have, where's the bomb in there? Can you just fucking... With the gals, I'm just... You know what? Leave it there. Yeah, do you want to leave it there? Look, let's just say I just bombed, okay? I don't feel like, we don't feel like just throwing it back that fact

I got it It was a time They always talking about to meet your heroes like they always tell you that What do you do you go to the dentist you have a dentist? Yeah, I am my dad was a dentist and I have helped you Your dad was a dentist fucking Dominican dentist well in Dominican Republic was a dentist But when you hear so that's not really a dentist Well, yeah, when he came here, became, you know, an alcoholic. The guy who has a fucking roast, uh,

roast a suckling pig, does dentistry, Yeah. Cuts hair, sells nails, the fucking witch doctor in the Dominican Republic. Yeah, there's a number one. He's making the best of what he did. He spits fireballs on your chest and you're about, you have a mouth cleaning.

He, he pulls out a a chicken liver from your cheek. This is the DMG mouth. What? Your dad was a dentist, no shit. His dentist aren't respected as much as a doctor, but to me, I think they're even better. Well, he wasn't really a good one, so it's not a good joke.

What do you mean, you're not a good one? Well, because I mean, he had his own practice, but he would just be so drunk, he would never go to his own practice. That's right. Yeah, also, you know, like, just what happens. This is kind of funny. If you go to like NYU Medical, you can get a teeth cleaning, and they're actually really good dentists.

Always look for one of the older ones, because when you get licensed in other countries, that license doesn't carry over to America. So you get to somebody who's a dentist for fucking 20 years in China, and then they come here, they have to go through all the the process and you get really cheap shit from a good dentist really yeah My dad's a little bit right now. I'm how should I say it's right now in a in a new York He's a little bit of a like a Robin Hood of dentistry way does it have his apartment well Can we can we just deal some the rich? Where where is your father looking?

It went in the Bronx. He goes to the party. He's a big hang on. Look at me. What's your name again? McGill. MD. Listen to me. So your father. Yeah. Is he still drunk?

Only on Saturdays now. Like he only drinks. So if we get hooked him up with Lewis, will he do a free cleaning? Can he come on the show and do it? Yeah, I'll do it. That's good. What are we going to do? Just watch. I have to bring it. I can't bring everything here. You're gonna use a dremel. Yeah

Then Louis can't talk for 30 minutes. I might be good I'm not high-fiving you for dissing me you fucking bitch. Yes, I'm not Madwack watch you don't you break dance? We carry on slow ass. By the way, I fucking tweeted a video of Kelly doing well on stage last night. Yay. A runny ass. A vine.

I mean great that I had to wait for eight minutes to get a land of land. I've been there. Delete five of them, but. Check spot two. That's funny. You shouldn't be bragging about doing the checks. Yeah. You just pretended you were on a real spot.

So I'm serious. Can you have father? Because I had listened. This is, I'm not insulting you. But I am, you know. No, it brats. It smells like shit. Well, no.

What happens is you can brush them all the time. Plac builds up. And if you don't get them cleaned, that plaque will fucking stink, okay? What happened to me, I remember, I just, you stink up microphones, you know what I mean? No, you won't smell it, dude. Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it,

let's do a breath test right now, okay? You breathe into scobo's mouth, and you breathe into my mouth, I mean my nose. Why do I get bombed? Why do I say bombed? Why do I get into your mouth? Breathe into your mouth, is that into my mouth. I mean my nose. Wait, why do I get involved in that? Why do I say, what am I gonna do? Breathe into my mouth. Listen, I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my cock.

I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my cock.

I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my cock. I want you to breathe into my mouth. I want you to breathe into my mouth. I want you to breathe into my mouth. I want you to breathe into my mouth. I want you to breathe into my mouth. I want you to breathe into my mouth. I want you to breathe and scopo's nose. Okay, okay, and then scopo because that's what you have to do on the show I don't know if you know this, but that's what you do and that's what I do and everybody I Glow suck my dick in front of a live studio audience audience

I have no problem with that statement. All right, let's go. Give him over here. I'll do it hang on now scopo All right scopo just get the camera on you. Hang on. All right, go ahead. Jesus. All right, come on. All right, big breath, look. Look, you got to turn towards him. I want you a whole big fucking Italian schnauz in his mouth.

Turn towards him, turn towards him. Turn towards him, go ahead, right there. Turn your eyes, Chris. Now bro, breathe in, breathe breathe in breathe in. No blow blow Is it bad? Is it bad? No, no, don't hold your breath. It's not as bad as it's been trust me. It's History let me smell right now. It's it's not bad, but I've seen it pretty bad I've smelled it worse. I'm not gonna lie Are you fucking nuts? Are you nuts?

Dante, please do this Dante you fucking Dante no breathe in breathing from the stomach no get in there He's definitely us and rotten yeah, he had something's right. I do have a rotten tooth in the back and rotten. Yeah, he had something's rotten. Well, I do have a rotten tooth in the back. Oh, that's what it is. That's like a smelly hole. Blown pus everywhere. Yeah. But no, I heard about this. There's a thing where they say that if you had a root canal that they're finding out that 97% of the people, hold on, listen me, 97% of people that have had cancer, fatal cancer, have had a root canal in their life. Oh, shit. So that shit is like releasing poisons into your fucking body And I have an unfinished ruckian out that just started breaking apart. Okay, I need you to call your father

As soon as you're done. Can we hook him up with a saturday? Well, he's delivering groceries on satiris Would you go to his dad? I go to his dad Does he have a chair? He has everything. He has everything stuff. He has the spit the spit guard everything Is it all on is he better is he better at dentists thing than you are at comedy way God, he's been doing it for 20 years. Is it called dentist thing? No dentistry Better at dentist thing that you are than me that you you know, you do the ha ha as he does the dentist thing dentists Can he fix the fucked up tooth? Yeah, dude, he'll do everything for you. I don't know if I trust your fucking...

Dude, he nobody has ever complained about it. You're fucking motel room dentist fatherhood. What the fuck is going on? I know all the shady things that he does, he's the best of bad. Okay. Listen to me. All right, I'll go to his dad.

I want to do it. Because here's the deal. I feel bad. I've never heard this before. I feel bad, you know, because nobody tells you, when you have bad breath, people don't tell you, they tell feel bad. Well, you know because nobody tells you when you have bad breath People don't tell you they tell other people yeah, because it's very you've heard this about Lewis's breath from other people No, I really have told just everybody You're the culprit you're just I can't let me tell you something about Lewis

No, I've I've spelled it before but I didn't I was like yeah, maybe just bad but the other day when you are stinking up material when people have to throw things out because of you this is what I love as far as his brain works this way I say dude my microphone cover I have to throw it out because you it stinks so bad he goes don't throw it out just keep it I'll use that one Hold on that's my how my brain works. I'm fucking saving money. I'm industrious. I'm smart. You're right No, it's a good dentistry school I love it. You don't keep a fucking shit smells like shit. I'm sorry Bob. I didn't know I'm 31 years old. It's the first time I told my breath stinks listen listen I've been there though. I was at the same age

Well, I think what happens when you have to say something not that this accounts for you because your parents are dead and but when When you go from teenage when your mouth is taking care of all your bills are taking care of as a kid and into your teenage years and Kind of into your 20s you'll have but they then all of a sudden around young early 20s until 30, you forget nobody takes care of your teeth unless you do it. Unless you get a job. It's grown folks. It's like your parents or whoever the fuck, whatever adopted you, take care of you. It's the wolves.

The wolves, the ill mannered wolves. So it's not really your fault. But do you have dentist issues? Like do you have a fear? Because I have a big fear. I have a fear of any doctors. I'm so afraid of dentists. I mean, I give all the signs of you.

Dude, I had a, like, when my family was younger, they used to take me to the health clinic. And I actually had a rucka now with no anesthesia. Yeah, and then. So you just went straight up with, just took the pain. They, I was a kid, I was like eight, nine years old. Yeah, but you know there's a word, it's called ouch. Well, I did go ouch and the dude smacked me in the face

Shut the fuck up you big fucking queer This is the way we do it in the manacarababa that was like Romanian I think we figured we pinpointed why Dante became Dante now I I was a fucking kid and I used to go to the, because my pops, my pops worked for the Parks Department. So we had benefits, we didn't have money like that and I had to go to the health clinic and the dude was fucking drilling and drilling and drilling. And then I was crying and he would keep smacking me in the face

because it was like, you know, it was like a welfare clinic like a regular health clinic. And then I had a, because I had a, it me in the face cause it was like, you know, it was like a welfare clinic, like a regular health clinic. And then I had, cause I had, it was in the front tooth, I had a, I chipped my tooth right in the bumper car as I had a Coney Island. And then I got, ended up getting a Rookanow because of the chip tooth. And then they had the, they put, you know,

the rock on the round grinder thing. What's he want bite? No, you know the grinder, the round grinder thing? What's he want, bite? No, he's not a grinder. Oh yeah, okay, that's a lot. He grinded it, ground down like these two teeth were chipped and he ground them down flat with no anesthesia. Oh, he's man, that's brutal. And I was like, I got up, like my mom was waiting for me

and I'm in the back and I got up and I came out the health clinic and I just went outside and I ran all the way home just like crying and just ran home. So you went through that and you're such a pussy now. I know, this one is so weird. I had four impacted wisdom teeth. Wisdom teeth. I had them all.

I'm a fucking asshole. No wisdom. I had a... Kelly get out. I... I... All right. You had a... Hi. Kelly get out. I had a... I... I... Alright, you cackling fucking...

I had four, I had them all done at the same time and I made... I actually... They put you under, though. They didn't put me under, they gave me novocaine. They didn't give you novocaine? Um, it... I didn't have anything. It was just like... Wait, I have to take that if they gave me, I don't think that's legal. I don't think they gave me no

McCain. It didn't really take. That's a question. It was just grinded in a way. I might. Did you have a time machine and go back into like the 1600s? What the fuck? I'm not a young dude. How old are you? I'm 47. Wow. They used the leeches on them. I'm 47. Wow. They used the leeches on him. They bled me. They bled him out. That's fucking nuts, man. Did you do that without Nova Cane?

I was so fucked up. I had Nova Cane, but then I tried to man up after. And I was like, I'm not taking, because I was sober and I quit drugs. I'm not taking any drugs. I'm just going to do Tylenol. I drooled for three days. I put a towel around my neck and just didn't swallow. And the dentist tree now is so much for my advanced.

Dentist tree. No dentist thing. Dentist thing. Yeah, we got, the American put a wreaking in the room. We got a, he's gonna sing but chop that later. So it's so much more advanced. Like now when I go to the dentist, I'm still, I still have that anxiety

Yeah, but I don't feel anything right but the the sound yeah, still kind of fucks with me It's still that shit is fucking terrifying dude and look I when I was kid I would go and they'd fucking you know They'd put the needle into your mouth and they shit that would just the needle itself going into my mouth would just Fuck and make me cringe yeah, cuz it wasn't shaped like a cock So you need a dick shaped needle I'm when I first came to New York. I remember Matt Frost hook me up with a dentist cuz my teeth were a little Fucking jacked cuz I was smoking and drinking coffee. I went out to Long Island and I remember this is this is sexy Bob.

This is hair Bob. This is Ringlet Bob. Dimples. Yeah, I had a cleft lip. Cleft chin. Cleft chin. So good looking and I went out there and I remember the fucking dental assistant made out with me.

Really? Yeah. What? What? She just fuck his name. I just, you know, stand out easy that joke. But the time it was a little lost. You got the word she out first. Yeah. Yeah. I waited for somebody

and I went, but I, yeah, we were sitting. She was cute. She was like a Spanish broad. She wasn't the best. Girls mom. I fucked up. She's a real slut bag just taking cock all day long. My dentist was crazy drunk. We're weird. You got $5.

You got $5. So yeah, remember I just got my cleaning and you know my mother's, you know, you're spitting this little blood and all shit comes out. She's still in. She leaned in and she started making out with me. She's like, oh, sorry. You hear the little accent. Oh, sorry. I know.

Oh, it's fucking alright. Don't worry about it. Try doing the else. Sorry. Well, she. Well, she. Well, she. No, I didn't. What's your name, Kima? She came down maybe two years later

when I was on the decline. You know what I mean? I was getting into one of my fats. I was a little heavier than I thought. So two years later, they both came to the seller. And over here, you know that Korean barbecue I like right over here. It used to be a coffee shop, 24 hour coffee shop, and Sethi, this Jewish dude,

this Israeli dude used to own it. And I used to go there all night. It's really owning something weird. Nothing. I wish we had a zoom. Who could just zoom in on your fucking dumb mouth. I used to go over there, and I brought her over there in the basement

where they used to fucking build all the food. And she sucked my dick, and I stood on a table. I don't know why, I just, I stood on some weird fucking cutting table. And it was like, wobbly, so I was bound, but it kinda turned me on. She was balancing, wasn't it?

It was on your core. I don't know, yeah. It's like a bozuball. Yeah, I was like, telling this, and I was like, no, it's good, because he was going in and out of her mouth because I had to, you know. And and then I think that fucked her up. I think she wanted to kiss me.

I don't think she wanted to suck my dick on a fucking wobbly table. But yeah, I went there, I got my shit cleaned, and then I stopped, and then years later, I was afraid of the price and my breath started stinking because I got plaque-pilled up. And you get plaque-pilled up on the bottom teeth. Dude, I'm telling you, and the one in the back you got to get that taken care of.

If there's anything an old person will tell you, don't fuck up your credit and take care of your teeth. I'm telling you, it sounds cliche, but ask any old take care of your fucking teeth. What are the two things I should do? Don't fuck up your What are the two things I should do? Don't fucking be credit. Stop blowing dudes. For you, that's the first two. All the problem, Lewis, has in your breath what we have an intervention for.

That's weird. What's that? All the problem he has in his breath is what we have an intervention for. Like that. I still don't understand it. We work. Am I talking fast or slow? No, you're talking porter with Dominican.

All the problem, what the fuck? Oh, they're talking poor Dominican. All the problem, what the fuck? I'm trying to sell us pork right now. What are you saying? I'm saying five o'clock shadow eyebrows. All the issues Lewis has and we have an intervention for his breath.

The same thing, I have other shit that we could have had an intervention for. No, no, no. I love all Lewis's other bullshit I'm happy happy with I'm I've thrown in the flag You understand I'm out I quit it is this just affected you directly I tell you why because I had the same thing Well what the problem yeah because my microphone fucking stinks I'm gonna ask my chick cuz she would tell me if I'd stinky breath. What's caller right now?

Love you. Oh, she's mad at me right now. Well, she should because you a shitty As I don't think she said get your sticky fucking mouth out of the house Lo que te gusta, esitis y contenido infantil. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Too far. Ah, anyways, yeah, dude. Why is she mad at you? Oh, I just... What you do? Because I smoked pot on Thanksgiving with my sister. You have a sister?

Yeah. Oh. She has bad breath, no, I'm kidding. What's going on? You guys just fucking melting candles with your mouth. I'm fucking kidding. So I ended up smoking pot last night with One. Yeah.

And there's a little bit of pot left over in the bag. And I didn't want to bring it into the house because it's a really good pot. And I want to get in trouble. So I put it in the mailbox. That's crazy. I put it in the mailbox at all. Your mailbox. My mailbox. But the mail doesn't come to like three o'clock. Yeah, but it stinks Kelly Let me fucking finish the story

You can't fucking check on it. I'm sorry. You don't want a podcast. This isn't a fuck what the fuck? You know not on trial. I'm trying not to fucking murder Kelly with my words every minute Every bit of me not to so this is good Kelly's kids look great today now. I had a dream that I ate Kelly out last night. What? Oh my god. Maybe you got my breath six. Maybe you ate her ass instead. Actually that was against me and that actually was quite good. I had a dream that I ate last night. How did you eat it?

We made out a bunch, then I went, she was hairy down there. Big old bush. I think that too. I really think that too, like she's hairy. Yeah, a big old bush and then I fucking spread the bush hair. Do you ever see when they kill a deer and they go to skin it on the belly and they cut that little sliver open? It's like the hair and open up.

You know what I mean? It's like the slice of hair and it's like pink and red and then that hair is that course fucking deer hair. That's what I picture her box looking like. Either that or Miguel's face. What's up? So you ate it out good. Did you like it? Yeah, I like it. Yeah, of course you like it. I don't know about that. What was she doing? My fantasizing about Kelly not enjoying it.

What kind of self-esteem? What kind of self-esteem would he have? And she's like, ah, you suck! It's getting off me. I love it, Lewis. He got in trouble last time for talking about some stuff, you know, that jerkin' off somewhere, it wasn't supposed to. And now he thinks that it's gonna make it better with his chick, because he wants to eat Kelly's box. I don't want to eat Kelly's box, it just happened in the dream.

You're dreaming about it next to her. That's right, it's a pot just to eat it. Next to your wife, you got bad breath and you're fucking eating out of Kelly's box. Eat in the mailbox. I think that's why I love you. I wonder why she hates you. I put the weed in the mailbox thinking like, all right, I'd just pick it up as I left today.

The mail doesn't come to a three o'clock. Why would she go in the mailbox? She's caught me two other times with weed in the mailbox in the past. Weed in the mailbox. So now I think she just fucking checks the mailbox. Because I didn't think of me, dude, she come to, I'm about to leave today to go to the gym. I was a guy at Babel Seele, and she's like, I sure you don't want to take your weed.

And you know what you're caught? And you don't have enough time to lie or think of it. Dude, she come to I'm about to leave today to go to the gym I was a guy I pay a seal and she's like I should you want to take your weed and you know you caught And you don't have enough time to lie or think I'm like, uh, oh, oh, it's the mailman's weird I don't understand why you're making excuses for your weed. Yeah, I don't lie. I don't fucking lie I'm an idiot. I should have been doing that since the baby came on we talked about that you keep fucking making since the baby came when we talked about that, you keep fucking making excuses for who you are, your piece of shit, she loves you, that's your piece of shit, but you keep making excuses for me.

Yeah, stop trying to cater. There's a point where you, look at, I've made sacrifices and I've changed a certain degree for my wife, but there's certain things that I'm not gonna, because if I tried, it would just be us fighting all the time. So there's a certain amount of me, she has to accept. Well the time. So there's a certain amount of me she has to accept. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'll have like a month or two where I'm not smoking anything and then I'll have like a relapse for a week or two Do you quit for her though? No, I would for me I didn't know you would know there's no way you would quit smoking weed if she wasn't I

swear to God I swear to God I would I believe I believe in because I know this is why don't a he's got a lot of shit going on His career right now more than he's ever had he's got popping up. And he doesn't want to be a fucking stoner and fuck up an opportunity. You don't want to walk into a comedy club and be the dude that sings my fucking part. I get if he's laying off because he's trying to focus. But he's not quitting smoking weed. Lou is just going to smoke weed

for the rest of his fucking life. So why can't you? Once things smooth out, he's going to start smoking weed. Why can't you just smoke weed late night? Just get the lawyer shit and. Just, just, just, I'm dude, first of all, Troy, nobody has a gifted life like you, okay? Well, no, I mean, I like smoke,

I went through the same thing where I couldn't quit smoking weed and it was like, fucking up my whole day and I just, now I just leave it to the very end of the day. If I could do that, I would do that. I would take a bong hit and she'd have no problem with that. My problem is I start making excuses to smoke during the day. I start making, I was like,

oh, I don't have any work to do today So I'll just smoke during the day and what I'm doing is I could be doing work still or I'll say I won't buy weed You mean work. You mean selling oranges on the streets, right? Or like I'll end up like a big guard. I won't buy weed I'll just smoke it when it's around and then I end up being at places where I know my friends are smoking pot Within a week or two I'm smoking pot in the morning I'm outside walking the dog taking one hit her hiding it for my chick Because I don't want her to judge me because I'm getting high during the day and it's just it's my addiction Alcohol's not my addiction. I've done cocaine. I've done mushrooms. I've done fucking you don't have a problem

I've done cocaine. I've done heroin. I think she males Fuck me up. There's a little pot there in the day You don't think that fucks me up is a little pot there in the day Fuck is I hear you I've done cocaine 12 times in my life. I never I never got addicted There's a lot of people who have never done it once that's a little bit done cocaine That's a little bit for somebody who does drugs that you don't do drugs. You don't do drugs. I've died we I never ever Even tried cocaine Once no I have trick on I so I've done

Wait a minute stop. What do you you like coke when it's good? What do you mean good? Well when it's a when it's a good cut Like when it's not cut up with a bunch of shit are you Don't do it. I don't do it regularly, but occasionally if it's around sure I'll do it. Can I say something about you though, your life is a little, you DJ too. You're like a known DJ. You gotta do cocaine. Yeah, I mean, you're at a party, you're at these fucking big bashes. You DJ and these cocaine and all that stuff is running around.

You're gonna do it but you also, you're one of the most level, you have this weird confidence and levelness about you that like I don't have. I know I don't have. I know Lewis doesn't have. You know what it is? I smoke weed and I do yoga. That's what it is. No, it's not.

No, it's not. It's who you are. Well, when you ever out of control, like, what, oh yeah, you win. I mean, I was, I was in a rap group for many years Yeah, the fuck yeah, what was it called? I'd rather not say No, just please tell me the name I was in a rap group called wolf pack for a while from Philadelphia back like fucking Wolf pack like the fucking, the hangover? No, no, no, no, this is a wrap group from Philly.

What, and what kind of wrap did you do? It was like the white Wu Tang clan. No shit. Yeah. What was your, what was your, so there were nothing with the Wu Tang clan? Exactly. Exactly.

The opposite of the Wu Tang clan? Yeah, no, it was like, it was like the, like the, like the punk rock Wu Tang clan. Really? Yeah, and uh, but yeah, we were just, we were just crazy, completely out of control, just kind of like house of pain. Yeah, in that world, you know what I mean? Like house of pain, like Beastie boys, YBT.

But yeah, I mean, there was just a lot of crazy shit, like meth and coke and you just kind of whatever. How old were you? From like 19 to about 24. Okay, so here's a deal with that I think though. Everybody kind of has that air. I did it when I was young, I got out of it. You know, everybody has that thing where you're trying

to fit in, where you're trying to find yourself, where you're trying to, but when you, there's a certain age that you do hit, you know, where I think you, look, this is who I am, I'm not that person, and you kind of spend the rest of your life kind of going towards who you really are Right, and who you really are is you're a pretty balanced. I've never seen you get angry and when you do get angry

It's kind of kind of focused or you know Meaningful it's meaningful, but yeah, but I had to spin out of control first. I had like a as well as young as a young dude Yeah, but I mean also have that outlet in rap to you know get your frustration. I'm fucking crazy white. I got a bunch of tattoos. I like to take a dick in my pool. Philly. Yeah, was that good? I heard you rap. You can rap. I heard you fucking great dude I free. No you can eat wraps. You misunderstood. Wrap your healthy both the idiots. You build just a filthy shit but he gets three or four minutes. Aided him. Aided him? What are you going to dent just thing? Jesus Christ is a lot of fucking ignorance in this room.

There's only one smart person in this room. I don't know who it is. I was lying. Yeah, I mean, but cocaine, I mean, you still do coke now? I haven't done it in a while. What a while. Probably like about a year?

Three days. What time is it? You done coke? I haven't done coke in like seven or eight years. The only reason, because I did like Coke a lot. Every time I've ever done cocaine, I get urinary incontinence.

So at the end of the night, it feels like I got a pee. And I just stand above the toilet, like wired on Coke, not being able to pee. So I go to bed when I wrap my towel in a dick, because I feel like, or am I wrapping my dick out now? I'm gonna towel in a dick.

I wrap my dick in a towel, be like, I'm gonna towel in a town You rap your fucking salivator That's wishful, please He has dick all around his apartment The fact that you know it in continents, I just aggravates the fuck out of me That in continent, you dentist thing and you know fucking in continents I thought I got a piss and I can't, you say in continents Whatever there, you fucking look at unicorn

God damn dumb Puerto Riga and those with incontinence. But I literally feel like I had a pee the whole night and I asked my doctor, I thought it in an STD so I went to the doctor and he was like, I'm not going to have a CV. Yeah, but it was AIDS and had nothing to do with it. But he told me, he was like, have you done cocaine recently and I was like, yes. And he was like, well, sometimes this happens. It's pretty common. So I can't do it. And I told you, did you know that?

That's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, Troy? No, yeah, he's right. All right, there you go. Kelly, also, so I know guys can't get harder to come with you anytime. So, try angle.

I'm the shy angel. Can you pass that fucking over there, please? No, but Coke's good, though. The thing is, I don't know why you felt like that, because the good thing about Coke is it wears off in like 45 minutes and it's done. So even if it's a bad trip, no, but that's the thing. It's a bad trip.

You just go, I'll wait half an hour. But with weed, last time I had an edible, I was fucked up for like five hours. Yeah, you can't let animals touch the topic. Because you don't know how much you're taking in. Horrible, horrible. I remember the time I gave brownies here. Yeah.

And Grilla Barnes went downstairs and just stared at the sailing, eating hummus for like three hours. So, that's worse. Remember that? Yeah. He was like on another planet. That was on the show, yeah?

Yeah, they meld in the edibles. And uh... Well, that was the cookie like on another planet. That was on the show, yeah? Yeah, they meld in the adibles and... Well, that was the cookie that I left over. I took like a quarter of a cookie and it fucked me up. I ended up calling up soda going, I'm freaking out. What do I do? You're the king of this.

You guys get some to eat and go to bed. I'm never gonna talk to some people. I'm gonna go eat an egg, I'll lose. We like suck a dick, and you can go all the time. And then take a nap. It used to be like, go outside, go on the subway, stare at all the strangers strangers have a good time. I'm not making all the people, edibles don't do anything for and some people, edibles just fuck my mouth.

That's crazy. But Coke I'm fine, Coke is like the best. It looked like the best. Yeah. Well, it was a fucking last time we did Coke. A few months ago. Are you fucking kidding? Kelly, you do cocaine?

Sometimes I'm like in the hands on it. I'm not disappointed. I'm fucking turn on I need a pussy now I got scared though because the last time I did it it fucking that really bad like my nose for like two weeks afterwards My nose is singing and well You're just a fucking nasally Mexican and And all my name is Gellin. Shut the noise. Just a fucking hole. I'm gonna go over face.

I have a problem with hating. What do we find that you're not Australian? You're just a real co-cat. Yeah, no, it's good. No, I was, I just ran, it's like $350. But the guy I was allegedly getting it off was like 20 bucks a moment. I haven't, the last time I did it,

I had a really bad experience because like for two weeks after, it's my nose was stinging, I couldn't sleep, I was really fucked up. And and I spoke to someone about it. They're like yeah That doesn't sound like you had you had meth You snorted me No, it's metho Kelly Kelly. It was it was high on Breaking bads

Why how do you know when it's met it just has a different taste than coke it's blue? I thought it was just I'm really choppy like I had to I should have chopped it up more that's why it's okay speak but it that's what I thought it in in later on tell me this last time anybody in the chat room how much how much does coke cost in 50 dollars 54 or I was getting it for like the 40. 100 for a gram. Allegedly, I'd like to jump coke. Wait, no, a gram is a hunt.

I'm not, I'm not. I'm not. That was the wrong prices. What's the price? It's not a hundred and four gram. It's 50 for a gram. Can we say allegedly? 150 on an eight ball.

Are you crazy? Who are you gonna rip down by? 150 on an eight ball. Yeah, that's what you get. 150. Who would say allegedly, because I don't want to get kicked out of the country. Well, Skopo gets ripped off by Puerto Ricans. We just found that out.

No, I just, I get it from the white people as well. And you gotta go with the Mexicans, man. Yeah, you can hook it up. It's $50 for a fucking gram. It's $150. It was a Puerto Rican that gave it to me. That was the bad cut. Oh, like a little boy.

I got bad cocaine and an Amsterdam. First of all, while we're buying drugs on the street and Amsterdam is beyond me. But some dude, what are you talking about? Well, I know. You can't go to the coke bars yeah but you can get you if you just ask around you could find good shit you don't need to fucking buy from a shady serenami in the fucking serenami in how the fuck you go dent this thing

the fucking economy serenami actually did I did a report on the country's serenami in the fourth grade so I knew I knew serename. Yeah, I knew so much about that country and I met there There's a huge serename in population and I'm certain those like the black people of Amsterdam They sent the ceremonies in to rebuild you They rebuilt Zero fuck yeah, but somebody behind me with fucking notes The ceremonies they sent them to Holland if you fucking any you say Kill you okay, I'm gonna ask what the original countries

Kill you, okay? I'm gonna ask what the original country is. Serenam. Serenam, it's in fucking honor. Serenam. I've never heard of that kind of thing before. They sent them the idea to rebuild Haul and after the war. And so now the Cernamese,

the second and third generation of Cernamese are like Roman gangs, they're like families. Their families initially came there to work and they have houses and stuff. And so now you have these kids, like these Well like middle-aged middle-class

Cernemy's kids that run running gangs and shit. Yeah, and we bought coke from one of them we brought it back to the hotel me and my buddy Jean and We fucking Jane Remember my dad made you live in and we fucking laid it on a table and it was like And we fucking laid it on the table and it was like Chris Lee it was like it looked like domino sugar and we still took the chance and we fucking took a line each and like our eyes Burn and we almost vomited and we threw it in the toilet. Why? I cut with some crazy shit. I wasn't cut with anything. There was no Fucking rat poisoning fucking abs just can't trust certain non's

That's why you stick with me. Yeah can see what's going on with me. My girl So I just should have came got your teeth clean and bought some coke from my dad Put you on So I can't believe the coke you did coke everybody in the room did coke you know the coke I've did coke when I was younger I did I did coke when I was younger. I did. I did coke when I was younger. Meth was an out.

And I quit. It makes more noise when you pick it up and put it back down. So why gong it? That's a flop gong. We were supposed to get a new gong, but fucking we did. We'll get one, right?

Yeah, I got one. Yeah, I did it back in the day. I did coke and all that. But I only did coke. My friend's father, stepfather, dealt it. And he was small than us. He was this little skinny dude with glasses. So he just took a full look.

He was just taking it. And he'd be like, where's my coke? Fuck you, we'd be fucking stone. Fuck it, fuck you, go fuck yourself. And, but I, coke fucked me up. I never, I mean, it was alright, but I hated the drip. Yeah. It was awful. Fuck the hell go fuck yourself. And, but I, Coke fucked me up, I never, I mean, it was alright, but I hated the drip. It was awful.

Fuck best part of it. I hate that. That's what I'll do, man. It's just, now it's just, it's such bullshit. And you just, yeah, sign this infections from it. You know, like one day, and you're just like, what am I doing this? You didn't even know what the fuck they're cutting it with.

I mean, have you ever had pure Coke? I've had really good Coke. I'm not sure if it was pure, but really good shit. And you just just when you know I don't know it yeah, disco coke That's hard it's hard to come by So but you were with rich people or friends I've had some really really good ones my brothers and like the fucking sculptures wait to interject with your story in the middle of a fucking

question You fucking them up on the he's doing so good. Go to the three. Fucking jackass. What's the rule, scope? Go to the three. When? Yeah, what did you just do?

Every other key. He's been through every other key. No, because I'll tell you why. You lose, fuck me up. Yeah, but you know, because you get a fucking anger problems and he made you mad and you went, you're trying to always control your fucking and guinea-wop rage. Turn her back, Chris, get him fucking...

You're coke rage. You fucking hands freeze up on the mouse and you're gonna squeeze it fucking, it's probably you don't turn green. Alright, whatever. Let's just order up some coke. Now we're talking about it. Seriously. I'll call my guy.

You have a guy? I could have it delivered right now. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen.

I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen.

I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. I can listen. My first time doing Coke be on WKWD that'd be awesome. Yeah, you're not doing coke you fucking Dominican It's also don't say your first time it's your only time. Oh my only time right Yeah, we're not doing fucking coke nobody's getting coke delivery Anyway, how much is coke? It's 150 for an apple. Can you guys put in together and would you do coke down to now?

Right, I'm not doing a coke. I'm not doing coke. I'll put in though. You got 40 you got money. You want coke? I would love doing that because I stopped drinking. Here's a deal. I don't do it then scope but Kelly do you get any money? I'll put I'll put fucking 20 in the We're just gonna just get a bunch of pile of coke and just no no fucking scar face We're just gonna just get a bunch of pile of coke and just no no fucking scar face 40 I gave 20 that's 60 that's not not a pile how much got how much coke can you get? How much can six how much an ape what the fuck are you talking about? Well, I don't I mean I don't really $60

3.5 a bow is two people one night How much can you get right now 60 bucks? I don't know. I don't know if they'll go that I'm not 20 and no one's gonna deliver so 40 80 bucks. I'll probably I probably get a hundred dollars I'd probably we would probably have to go to 150 really. I get a hundred I get a guy come for a hundred you could is it good though? What are we gonna do with that we have to trust co-guy. I trust Troy's co-guy Yeah, you know his shit's good party like here's just make a sicker. Yeah My father's a bakery in the back they do that

I'm a vaguerine in the back, they do the cooking hell! I haven't done cooking years, I've even been over cooking years, and I've been over cook like three times in the past month. Really? Weirdly, it's just coming up a lot. Weirdly? Weirdly. Ventistry. I would say do it, but how long it must take like a while to get coke this podcast is a three-hour podcast

No, no, no, I just leave I literally just leave you guys yapping leave the mic on I come back tomorrow you guys Village it must not be that just wake up Troy Troyquans dick and Lewis's mouth Little fucking mushroom flopping out of the side of his mouth. I can't get had I should I go inverted. Kelly's sitting on fucking Troy's face. That sounds like a party. That sounds fun. What do you think Kelly's attractive?

She's pretty. She's funny. Yeah, pretty funny. No, she's funny. She's funny. Funny, funny helps. Are you a girlfriend? I did.

You did. You done. Unfortunately, Cocoa Verdose. She died. She had heart attacks. She did actually. She did. Yeah. I'm sorry. No, I didn't know that. Yeah. It's a fucking wrong way to do it. Yeah. Yeah. She did. She's not a thogas. Oh, I'm sorry. No, it's fine. I mean, Jesus Christ. Why would I be it? yeah, I mean Jesus Situation I'm so sorry as soon as you asked me had a girlfriend in my mind

I was like hang on and it took me I was too slow to think about it. I should have stopped it You asked you knew yeah Oh my god, I'm stalking you She killed it She's a scuffle She killed it I Was a record I thought it was Danny and then I just realized I'm sorry, dude. I should have like tried to

What happened you really want to know the story? I yeah, I mean Jesus Christ. We just made oh god. Can you tell it in a funny way? I probably not but all you guys can try to make it It's like it's okay I'm gonna get serious hit the go you're in already you might want to get to serious hit the gong Yeah, so we know my god, I'm a serious yeah, I'm not that I would love to but I Love the history. Oh, you should that better. I'm never happened Are you gonna name this I'm gonna name this fine? It's fine. No, the Drake number. I was a million jokes. Think I'm out. Let him out Don't don't hold back Hello, you guys dating well, we were together for about two and a half years. Oh my god

Can I ask how can I ask how she passed away? We were in Pennsylvania hiking in the mountains and she fell Pennsylvania hiking in the mountains and she fell Back to let's get him coke Twenty seven years of body out I'm doing Let's I'm doing heroin fucking Listen I just back up a little bit I hike a lot Oh Way to lighten the mood I meant I Have had a lot in my life

I enjoy it. I enjoy it. You've thought about it so much. I use the wrong word. I enjoy it. I enjoy hiking. Oh, Jesus. I'm going to look at the chat room. I enjoy hiking.

Me and my wife go up to the white mountains for the last 20 years or whatever the front of 15 years. And you know, all trails up there, my family is a house up in the mountains, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I've been going up there since I was 19 going up there and doing hiking trails and shit like that. But I've never gone on something that you could actually get heard on. Totally.

I mean, it was always just a trail. Yeah. You know, but I mean, were you guys in or were you enthusiastic? Were you guys climbing? I mean, were you guys in, were you enthusiastic? Were you guys climbing? I mean, how was it dangerous? Or did it was in an accident that could happen? Anybody? Well, it's a pretty dangerous, pretty treacherous area.

It's up in Jim Fort Pennsylvania. It's called Glendinoco. Okay. And when you go there, when you get ready to go up on the trail, it does say, like, enter at your own risk, people have died here. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, God. You read that before you went up. Yeah, but I've been going there since I was a kid. Oh God. And then, no, we had actually gone a year before, and then we had gone up and there was a huge, crazy, rain storm that happened maybe like two days before. And the, just loosened up the ground and she fell about 45 feet.

Where the ground came from underneath her, like it gave out her. It's, you know, there's like waterfalls and there was like an overlook and she was standing on the overlook and it like her grandmother and Star Trek. I don't know, I've never seen that, I don't even know. I know what you mean, but... Well, fucking laugh. You know what I mean?

Don't leave me hanging. I know. I know. We're not a writers okay, but I Trying to break them a not me a little bit. He's still right. You got to hear fucking this sad story and then fucking His fucking deviated septum Take it done boxing nose away from the microphone, would you? Dante? One of those has been broken. That's my sorry, I think we've had so.

So here's a deal. You going up, has she been before with you? One other time we were there. We were there at 4th of July last year. So she knew about it. She knew about it, she wasn't experienced, but the way she was. Was it just you two?

Yeah. And you were going up and coming back down. We made it all the way to the top and we were coming back down. So And you were going up and coming back down. We made it all the way to the top and we were coming back down. So you made it and then you coming back down and she's standing on this overlooking a waterfall? Yeah, it's just like a ledge and it dropped about 45 feet but it was a beautiful scene where it was the waterfall

and I was there taking her picture. You weren't about to propose anything, were you? No. Was it with your iPhone? Yeah. I have a ton of pictures like right before she died. She uses Christ here. Yeah. And what, so what happened? What happened?

She slipped and she's standing there and I didn't know this until the police report and the people, because there was people down below. And she just, the ground started falling out underneath her and then finally it all collapsed. Was it just a little piece of ground that she was on that she got to? It was like a ledge. You know, but it looked so much like a ledge. Brown started falling out underneath her and then finally it all collapsed. Was it just a little piece of ground that she was on that she got to? It was like a ledge, you know, but it looked solid. Can I say something? Me and my wife, two summers ago, we went hiking up in the Hampshire and we went up to

this kind of fucking weird, overlooking a waterfall, same shit, we're like a hundred feet. And she walked over to, I go, stop it. I go, I don't care how not afraid of heights you are, I'm petrified of heights. I don't like when people go out, I go, I'm not dealing with this because you don't give a fuck. And you don't have to deal with it. I go, you don't have a fear of what's,

I'm not saying that you should go. But this is, I was so scared of this situation happening. Yeah. That I actually cursed my wife out. I was like saying that you should do this, but this is, I was so, I'm so scared of this situation happening. Yeah. That I actually cursed my wife out. I was like, fuck you. She's like, it's fine. I go, it's not fine. Because I don't feel comfortable with it.

Get the fuck back here. We can see fine from here. Well, my checker is something walking on the subway. She just walks like, like, on the fucking edge. I'm like, what are you doing? It's like, you know, you know, I mean, I don't mean to compare, but I'm just saying, I've been in those situations and I get freaked out, but you guys would probably, you know, you guys have done this before.

She was probably, you've done it a million times. Yeah, yeah. And it's crazy, man, because you just literally go there and you're like, you're walking up, you have breakfast that morning and you're head to the mountain and you're having fun and it's a beautiful day and you're taking each other pictures and you're crazy in love.

And then all of a sudden it's like, she's, you're leaving the mountain alone and it's a pretty fucked up feeling. And how crazy you feel? I could have been right next to her too. Like, I could have. Well then, it's just a range of emotion. That would have been better.

That would have been better. She lived for about 45 minutes. That's what it's like. Oh, that's crazy. But then it's like, it's almost like, then you just go through this range of emotions. Like, what could I have done to prevent this?

Nothing. How do I reverse this? How do I fix this? You know what I mean? It's like you just don't even know how to process that you know and you're driving home and you're like You know wait a minute. Oh wait a minute. You what I mean she fell. What did you do? Did you run over the I was I was in shock, you know I mean and I had to climb down 45 feet to get down to where she was. And I just, I literally just laid with her and was just like trying to call, having people try to call paramedics and you just trying to calm her down because she's like, I'm dying, I'm dying. And you know, freaking out about it and you're just trying to like,

I'm sorry, dude. This is killing me, dude. I'm so sorry. I don't, I mean, I'm sorry to bring the mood down. This is just the direction the mood down. We went from having a party to like Everybody's like so fucking bummed out. You leave

Dude Yeah, we're about to do coke We're sitting with a pile of coke Literally a bunch. I'm about to cry Yeah, sorry dude. I'm sorry to mean no I'm sorry brother. No, listen You know, this is I mean you ask so I know I'm not saying it's I'm not dude, I'm sorry to mean to talk about it. No, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. Listen, you know, this is, I mean, you ask. So I know I'm not saying it's, I'm not at all brother.

I'm just, you know, it's a very sad thing, bro. And the one thing that I'm getting from this is that, you know, this tragic shit happened to you, but you didn't, you found a way to, I know it's still with you, but you're not, you, you, you, you, you, you, still living. You're still living. Try it, man. It's hard. You know, yeah. It's a hard thing, man. It's a really hard thing to go through. And I think about the things that I, I'm going through now, which are my, one of my problems are trivial. And it's, it's, it's a trivial.

I mean, I could talk for myself. you have to close out a sears card I had a fucking they fucking said you had to close the card Dude I'm like really the worst thing I ever could ever fucking happen to me Can life get any fucking worse Nobody's got it worse than me dude dude you want to blow job from Kelly on on the I get that we do on the house. Yeah, the Kelly a Lewis. I wrote my hours. I'll do it Dude, I mean and then you you had a, she went to, she passed away there.

Yeah, it took a while, but she lived for a while. And they couldn't save her, there's, well, the paramedics had a hike about a mile and a half up the mountain. Oh, so yeah. And then, and then, and then you had a drive home. How did you drive home? You couldn't call anyone and come pick you up?

Well, I wanted to just get the fuck out of there. And I had a zip car from the. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home.

I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home.

I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. I'm going to drive home. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just, it's just, it's like did you go through her phone? No, her phone broke it fell with her. Did you have to make the call to her family? I did Lewis will you stop talking? This whole thing is cousin you it's not because it made you like did you go through a phone? No, it's an apocket when she found we would have never talked about if you're fucking breathed

Oh my god, I didn't bring it up at all Oh My god, I didn't bring it up at all You were it with the butterfly effect you fucking asked me out of girlfriend cuz Kelly wants to fuck it Yeah, that's how got brought up and tell you when she's dead You want she's dead she had a shit a cocoa over those who was funny Yeah, and then he said she's really dead and you like Dentisting Don't put down fucking don't do it. I'm with you. So it's a whole bunch of I'm like I'm like the because the person leads to the calls. You're gonna get a simple,

little account in Caledonite. The police showed up, they came to my, with the house that I was at my parents house, and they have to talk to you, and then they took her belonging, so then they mailed it out to California for family. What did her family say to you? Were they mad at you?

Well, it was tough. I talked to her brother and her brother had to talk to her mom. She doesn't have a father, but her mother were very close and it just destroyed her mom. It's just, I mean, completely devastated her mom. Hang on one second, Dante, you gotta break your mic. Literally I'm fucking panicking because of your breath. Go ahead. No, I guess so it's had to talk to her mom and then, you know,'re literally I'm fucking panicking because of your breath all right go ahead no I yes so it's how to talk to her mom and then you know that was just and her mom was just in denial for for a long time until we got out there and she saw the body so what does she can I ask did she

die of a head injury or she she fell so she she cracked a rift her ribs punctured her lungs Claudia longs is it what? Yeah, what's what happens? Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Oh, he's your dog the father of a father of a father of a internal I work at a hospital. He's a nurse. Where's the hospital in your apartment? Come on in Don't wake my mother Walking this chicken's a dog and little kids We do everything here

So that's crazy man, so it's heavy. It's been two years. No happened logist five months. It's been dude Yeah, I'm I can't you know what's pretty heavy. Sorry, man. No, I'm not stone ever to please don't ever say that to me again I I'm I'm I'm sorry for you heavy, sorry man. No, I'm not, don't ever, please, don't ever say that to me again. I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry you had to go through that. That's a terrible thing. You know, I think about that, the older you get and the more in love I become with my wife and my kid, the thing that I, because I'm of who I am, I'm a crazy comic, I think about this shit.

Yeah. And I have to fight those, my, this is my little kid, I look at him like, oh God, what if I'm not who I am, I'm a crazy comic, I think about this shit. And I have to fight those, this is my little kid, I look at him like, oh God, what if I'm not here for him? What if I die? What if I, I'm always fighting these intrusive thoughts that, you know, Patrice used to talk about. Where you think about these terrible things that could happen.

And it may, you know what, and it did happen to you. And you had to deal with it. And it makes me go, stop it, Bobby. Stop, enjoy it, write the fuck now. Stop thinking about if when, could've should've. You miss, you miss what's there. Not even by thinking about what could happen.

Even if it's fucking four seconds of missing my kids' energy or that moment, I don't care how corny this sounds. By thinking about this stupid stuff that could happen, you have no control over. It's the will of the universe. It is what it is. It's nothing you could have done. And unfortunately, I mean, it's just life.

And it's gonna happen to everybody here. I mean, it's just a matter of time when. Yes, you know? And it's, you know, but it's just the one thing that I'm just so grateful for in looking back at our relationship. And we were actually fighting earlier that week, we were in an argument.

And I'm just so grateful that we had made up and we were back in love because just the thought of having that on my mind where something was unresolved. I mean, I can't imagine, Troy, let me, I do really think that that matters in the grand scheme of things. I mean, I can't imagine. Troy, do you really think that that matters in the grand scheme of things? I mean, I think people just like you're saying, these things happen in that time and place in that moment,

but if you were fighting, you were fighting because you were living and it just... Yeah, but you have to have something to hold on to. And that is... But I'm saying that people do that. Like, my father passed, we weren't really talking. But I mean, I loved my dad for whatever, and what have scoped that is,

and we just weren't, and he just happened to pass before we made up, but it could have been a time, we could have made up, we couldn't have made up. It, you know what I'm saying? I don't know if the change is anything. I can't really, I can't really speak for anybody else. I just know, for me, I just know that, I'm just so glad I have that peace in my heart.

That when it was over, we were crazy in love with each other. You know what I mean? And in her last moments of living, she knew that she was loved. And when I told her while she was, you know, in her last couple of minutes that I loved her, she knew that that was real.

You said that too before right now? No, I can just kept telling her like, I love you so much. I love you. I just kept holding her and, yeah, man, it's fucking heavy, dude. It's real, it's some real shit, dude, you know, and it's like, I've just never experienced anything like that in my life. So I feel so bad bringing this podcast

at a screeching halt. You were bringing it back. You were bringing it to a screeching halt. The seriously dude, leave. I'm telling him to get away now, sorry. You're gonna get laid forever, I understand. But that's not real. Bring it to a screeching hot. This is a good leave I'm gonna Miguel right now. Sorry You're gonna get laid forever. I understand but that's all that fucking I should listen to me Troy you didn't bring this to a screeching hall at all dude. This is this is um

It's okay to fucking be sad. It's okay to fucking talk about Shit like this. This is life man, and it's good, you know, we we joke around all the time We fuck around we joke we're even making light of this in a weird man. And it's good, you know, we joke around all the time. We fuck around, we joke. We're even making light of this in a weird way. It's we laugh, you know, but it's amazing to me that, you know, I mean, it's not amazing. It's just, you know, that you're, oh, you're, thank you for talking about it.

Yeah, man. Thank you for, because it, you know, I've just experienced death in the last couple years Really career for my first time you know I'm saying yeah with Patrice. Yeah, you know what I mean? And my grandfather passed away and I didn't know how to fucking deal with it man I didn't know I mean Patrice. I still believe he's alive I'm driving home the other night and I was gonna call them. Cause I just, I forget. Yeah.

I forget that he's not fucking here. And then when I realize, I'm like, I get mad at, I get mad like fuck. Yeah. You know, it's just, it's a tough thing. And it's, I think it's shocking. And I think that shock, it's almost like when my son was born, I was in shock.

The same type of like, I don't know how to feel. How do I, and it slowly starts to go away? Like, you know, it slowly starts to happen. You slowly, because you just experienced this, like you had never really experienced a lot of death in your life. No, not because I'm white. Oh, okay.

Well, he is a good guy. You're straight. My dad, my dad is the youngest boy of 16 brothers and sisters. Right, so. He's black. You know what, I mean, you know, he's more in 1920. Yeah. And I needed a lot of black stuff.

Yeah, because you had the, not even a farm, but, you know, when I'm running numbers. So, but so at nine years old, I was going to funerals, like from the time I was like nine years old, because of my aunts and uncles. So you're here, you're not the usual. But the Patrice thing didn't, it wasn't any easier because of that.

But like, funerals was how we, that's like for as a kid, this is how I saw my cousins. I got to see my family because of funerals. So when my aunts and uncles would pass, so we're talking about you. You'd kill people in your family, so you can get together. You know, let's have a barbecue.

Kill Jackson motherfucker. I don't appreciate Jackson, it's real racist. I don't know anybody. McGillicatti, what are you doing? My name's Dante. Dante Jackson. It's a great name. But they just go into funerals.

My whole life I went to funerals. Well, that. And it just doesn't. I have such a hard time with death and funerals and all that shit, dude. I've gone to maybe three funerals in my life. It's a weird thing. And just saying what Dante was saying

before about just kind of like, having that closure or having that relationship, like my mom died and I hated my mom, my mom died. Like literally, I didn't speak to my mom in probably two or three years. And it's fucking, I get why, like now, I look back and I go, yeah, I was justified for the way I felt about my mom, but there's still a party

that kind of goes like, I wish I were to fucking make things right. But you make those choices in the context of the time and the context of things happening. And you make those, just like you're saying, Bobby's saying, I don't wanna give up my minute of my kid's energy, you make those choices. And you don't really understand what happiness is unless you have sadness, you need both. You don't really understand what happiness is unless you have sadness.

You need both. You need the balance of both in order to feel both, either. So you, you, you can't just embrace the good. You have to embrace the, the, the death and the sadness too. You got to, I mean, otherwise you don't feel either. That's like what I say about Kelly's role on this podcast. She's like the death and the sadness of the podcast, but it's a big part of the entire life of it. It's too ready Bobby. Well, we made it. Get him fucking roll of self-auto. I love that you made eye contact him and that's gonna save you.

It's like that, that's a terrible fuck. I mean, just the worst scenario I could ever dream of. And you know, our friend too, we have a friend that lost somebody too, or a brother in the war. Not in the war, but he was in the military, in the services, and he, that was terrible too. You know, because she's, you know, she loved her brother, and you know,

these people, it's sad, man, it's fucked. And that's why it's like life is so fucking great. It really is. I had bad shit happen today. You know, we're not bad, but we, you know, not the serious card, other stuff. You know what I mean? But it's like, what the fuck, man, you're just kind of rolling around. And you have these moments where, you know, you're trying to get home to the people you love. We're just all trying to spend time with the people we give a shit about.

We're working to make money to get back to the people we give a shit about to laugh, cry, love. That's all we're all doing. Is how can, I just wanna get, I'm gonna go to work, I'm gonna fly here, I I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, take a train, because I'm going to get home and I'm going to have dinner with my chick, my family, my son, my daughter, or go to Christmas. We're all trying to just be with each other for a short amount of time to laugh and have

these moments, like we're having right now. That's why we do what we do. That's why we pay the bills. That's why we sacrifice ourselves. And you never know when that's gonna go away. I mean, you never know when someone's gonna be taken from you, whether it be your mom, your dad, your girl. I don't know, but it really makes you take pause,

at least me, and, you know, I get emotional, dude, when I hear this shit, and I don't think that's a bad thing. You don't have to apologize because I think it really puts perspective on the way things are, and the fact that you're, you're still going strong, you haven't given up, you haven't fallen, you know? And the fact that you can come in here

and fuck and talk about it freely, I mean, it would be, yeah. There's people, even if there's one person that's listening that just had the same thing, that's amazing. You're helping people. Well, my answer in reaction is like, I want to go fucking kiss my check right now. Yeah, if you're cleaning your mouth. We don't know two girlfriends dying. Oh, I listened. We're going to take a break real fucking fast. We don't know two girlfriends dying. Oh!

I lose it. We're going to take a break real fucking fast. People watching on the live stream, the cameras will be on the three camera right now, and you guys are going to be able to see just not hear motherfuckers. We're going to pause the show real quick, and take a little piss break, do some ads,

and we will be right the fuck back. Fuck the fans. That's what I say. Fucking losers. Alright, check it out. We are going to do some ads right now. You guys who listen to the YKWD, first off I want to thank all the people who donate. You guys are amazing. We take all those donations and go back to the podcast.

Of course you know that you guys don't have to donate at all. This is always going to be free until I need the money really bad and then it'll be a dollar each episode. But listen, the thing is right now for the foreseeable future forever, almost maybe, unless I need money, this will be free. No, it's free every week, but you guys you donate, you don't have to do that, you're amazing. And I love you guys who, what are you handing me? What is this? What is that?

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I love tweed audio because it's great inexpensive headphones for cheap, cheap price. They're already cheap when you go there. You could just afford these without even us, without this amazing deal that we're about to tell you. I know I tell you every week, but Tweet Daudiou is great. You take a train, you work out, you need headphones. You know, you're always losing them, you know.

You always fucking forgetting them somewhere. They get wet, you dip them in coffee, they fall in the toilet, cause you're talking on the fucking phone while you're pissing. Here's a deal, go to tweakedaudio.com. Right now, use the code word, dude. And you get 33% off, not 10, not 15, not 20, not 25, 33, almost half. Off your headphones, you'll all your headphones, get five, six half, off your headphones. You'll all your headphones.

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I'm right cast.com Here we go. All right we're back. So anyways where's Lewis? Where the fuck is Lewis? J. Gomez. He's making pee pee. He's making one. His brushing is teeth. Hello. Thank God. Would it? Pushing his teeth with a toilet brush. That's the problem. That's how we're gonna last. Dude's doing it.

Kelly, fix that camera on the right there. It should go down a little bit on the right. I want it down on the right. Oh, what are you doing? I'm doing it. Little more, a little more. Keep going, keep going. Keep going.

Now just push it, tilt it. I want it tilted to the right. Down, down, down. Now keep going, keep going. Right just push it tilt it. I want to tilt it to the right Down down down now keep going keep going Right there's great and pull that microphone down fellas. Thanks. Yeah, just pull that down right there That's no tap the top of that mic for me, would you? Awesome. All right, here we go. We're back. We're back We just now we just I mean, that was crazy, crazy stuff. I mean, thank you for sharing. Yeah, Troy. I mean, I don't, please don't, it's, it's pretty amazing. I mean, I don't know what to say. It's sad. It's terrible. It's awful. You know, but we, we've, you know,

like you said, we're all going to go through this. We're all going to go through tragedy and you know you're the fact that you're a fucking you're you're you're strong enough to keep going and keep it moving is unbelievable and I can't believe you haven't even talked about this at all yeah no I mean I'm well I got to do a little incident on no nice I'm banned from on air why I got a little a little bit of a problem I had a little bit of a problem it was had a little bit of a problem. It was like a whole fucked up thing. I got into a fight on air. With who?

That was one of the guys. No, that was just a verbal fight on Sam Roberts' after show. And it's actually called the Bob and Sam show. That's right. You weren't there, unfortunately. Yeah. So I got into a little bit of trouble in there. And it was crazy, because I thought I was gonna be a fired really

Yeah, it was pretty intense over something on the air. Yeah, isn't that what they love though They do I mean oh, and I didn't have a problem with it. They were they were great They they fought for me and they're the best fucking dudes ever man. They really went through half for me But yeah, I mean it's just you know when you work for a big corporation man, you know You some things go over the air that you know They don't they don't want you know and story of my life with Robert Kelly and Rob sprints He holding him back Bobby. Yeah, we don't want shitty MMA news When I'm mocks to smell not

Calate don't push the mic away Come on Don't push them put the mic back in Love you Lou. Remember you dream remember remember Woffing wish a wuffin bushing between Kelly's legs so so so so they came down it What would you what was said can you say it now? You know, I do this is such a weird thing What would you what was said? Can you say it now? You know I do it's just such a weird thing It's just like it like I'm so scarred from it Yeah, you know that just because like it just something that would just would come out here in like a normal conversation

Yeah, you know then it just turned into this huge ordeal and lawyers were involved. So it's corporate, corporate is a motherfuck. Yeah, and especially, you know, anytime you, the threat of losing sponsors comes, comes forward, you know. So we're trying to lose ours. So you can talk about it. We want to lose. Yeah. Three that we have Amazon, we made eight cents.

Woo! No, I'm kidding. But, yes. Is this after the incident? No, it actually, it happened the week before. The week before you, you, your girlfriend passed away. And then I was, I was suspended for that whole week.

And then I found out Wednesday that I still had a job and she died on Saturday. Jesus. So that was, that was, that was my August. So yeah, it was pretty intense, man. Jesus, man. So yeah, I mean, it just like this,

this year's just been a fucking brutal. You're having my ass handed. Yeah, you're ready to see it, Dan. You're, I mean, it's just like this, this year's just been a fucking brutal year. I've had my ass handed. Yeah, you're ready to see it, Dan. You're ready for 2014, like, huh? Yeah, man. It's been pretty, pretty fucking crazy. Get some coke New Year's Eve! That's right.

I think Kelly and I are going to party New Year's Eve. Kelly, gonna eat Kelly's pussy. On cocaine, yeah. Oh, cocaine. Yeah. No, Bob. Cocaine, sex on cocaine is the worst. I had a fucking Australian stripper put coke on her pussy and tell me to lick it off of it.

When? Get the dates right? We could go. I had no other time frame and anything. Don't you know the rules? I love when guys who would live with girls at when. Uh, well, that's not a year's a guy. Now this I lived in Brooklyn.

This is, I mean, I had a girlfriend at the time. I said, give a fuck. And yeah, dude, first of all, Australian girls are just fucking super sexual really really Kelly seems like a fucking piece of wood to me she's never been sexual she's never I mean she talks dirt she talks like a guy once in a while but she's never been like the today is the first time she's ever been kind of sexual with Troy Kelly wants it but Troy makes me want to

fuck his dick I talked to Dante a lot about sick stuff yeah Sometimes she's ever been kind of sexual with Troy. Kelly wants it. But Troy makes me want to fuck this suckers dick. I talked to Dante a lot about sick stuff. Yeah. Yeah, because Dante is a creep. Would you like, hold on, would you like Dante pound you out? I would let no one in him pound me out. No, not even Troy. Not even Troy, Troy's definitely.

You are? Troy's out of my leg. First of all, whoa. She didn't ask you if everybody just asked you about me. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to ask you if everybody just asked you about me I'm like you feel bad when I say no You know, he's never had a dick that's you know me before You don't mean it Work you over no, I don't wait to get away with your witchcraft

Don't they stick you just hear a vacuum seal when it goes Because it fits perfectly in a big gash. Well, Kelly likes a dude dude. What's a dude dude? She likes a rough dude to take charge. Like a rug player. What's the teller what to do? You're a man guy.

I know, listen, the far as dating goes. Are you done? Are you going to date? Are you going to try to date again? I mean, you have to. God, that was the first time like after. I mean, it's just like, it's so weird, because like, yeah, I'm actually like, I'm fucking on a Tinder. What is that a gay thing?

No, what a grinder. Let me show you. Grinders, that is on Tinder. I'm on Tinder. And I had a save, Kelly. Kelly was gonna go on, and I want to give too much details. I get Kelly said I'm gonna go out with this guy and he works at a place and I know another guy who worked there.

I was like, can you find out Lou about this dude? And I've been at and he's like a fucking rapie creepo. And I save Kelly's fucking life. It's good for you. What do you want to fuck in? Rap metal, what do you want? I have a few of those, but it's not for what you think. It's golden whistle.

So Tinder's like random hookups. Let me see. I won silver and rape in the Olympics. I will give you my phone, Robert, but please do not do anything. It's not for what you think. It's golden whistle. So Tinder's like random hookups. Let me see. I won silver and rape in the Olympics. I will give you my phone, Robert, but please do not do anything. Kelly, first of all, why would I do that? Because you're a Robert Kelly.

Is that you? No, no, no, no. So I have a profile and guys come up. So you swipe it. I swipe saying no, or I swipe saying yes, if I like him. Can I swipe a couple? I swiped a couple. Okay, if you think they're good for me or not good for me.

Okay, hang on, hang on, stop, stop, stop. So you trying to push buttons? Wait, Scopo, you're on Tinder too? Scopo, you're on Tinder, but I know. You're lying, Scopo's gonna go for it, he's on Tinder. I see him in the space. I'm not on Tinder. So I'm swiping, I'm gonna say yes to this guy.

Okay, good. Yeah, works, you like fat guys. Yeah, but also, how about this fucking? How long do you see it like that? This guy looks like a hipster Jewish comment. Oh, he looks like a fucking Pusswack. Yes, I guess. Fuck it.

I just, can I give you an Asian? No, that's a blab. Bull, I just said yes. That was a bad one. What about Louis Dante and fucking Miguel at the same time? If they worked out, maybe. Oh.

But the thing is though, the trick is that I have to like someone and the dude has to like someone as well. If a brother like that, just like everybody says, whoever you like. Yeah. My brother's like, he just likes everybody. So he's kind of like, the number is game. No guys. No guys.

Stop, stop, stop. She's talking over. No guy can contact me. If I haven't said yes to him, I can't contact him here and suggest to me. So I have photos. So where's the girls? Why? You got a mind. You got to get to me. So I have photos. So where's the girls? You gotta go to mine.

Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys.

Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys.

Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. Check these guys. She has a lot of dudes You guys call me photographs very well. You can't feel her body That's because it's not Oh my, good job That is true You really can't feel her fucking jello jellies and fucking hippas Very funny, you see all the girls that are around then So you're on Tinder? Yeah, and I see

That's better when you think of Kispa And you know, when I see the girls on Tinder I see the guys I have to look at You guys have it so much better But they're not fucking beautiful but they're not cool. They're not cool. I've been getting that a lot of my, every comedian I know is on it

and they're reckon the girls are boring. They're so boring. The guys are boring too. They're awful. You know what's, I've got rapy boys. I went out to the Midwest when I see dudes that use Tinder on the Midwest like it.

That, they're like hooking up every night, cause they're like, Troy has way more likes than Kelly. Are they hot chicks? Yeah, they're all smoking. Let me say no love. I want to see that. They're a lot.

Well, can we not we're doing a radio show? I can't have you guys. No, we're looking. Look, there's just trust me. See after the show. Trick. What?

Trust me. Just don't give it to him because he wants what he wants. He didn't get it. He's like a little fucking puppy. Shut up. You don't get it. He's like a little fucking puppy. Shut up. You don't get it. Listen, that's amazing. So you're on here, you're trying to date again.

I'm not trying to date. What are you trying to do? I'm just trying to put it in. That's what you just really. Yeah. You need to. That's what you need right now. I need instantaneous gratification.

Tender reduces this to just the fundamental. I like you. I want to put it in my face. I like your first life. I like you. I want to be honest with you. I like your phrase. I like my phrase. It's like that for guys. It's like that for guys, but girls have a whole different approach. What do you mean?

Well, because it's like guys, you look at a girl, you're like, I would fuck her. I don't need to know her name. I don't need to know anything about her. Isn't that the best moment I've ever been fucking a chick before? And then in the middle of it, you realize you don't know her name. And you know she doesn't know your name. Can I say something? I'm in the middle of fucking a girl once she looks at me. She goes look at me Look at me. I go yeah, she goes what's my name and I went oh

God I was I just started fucking dude. I have the same story, but it turned us both on I was like what's my name she's like I don't know what's your name. I was like I don't know We just like yeah, and we fucked and we never even asked because you're not polite. I was eating I'm eating a girl's box one time. She asked me that talking about the side of the microphone you ate I was eating a girl's box one time she asked me that and I couldn't tell her name And she's like do you want me to stop? She's like no, and we went back to doing it. I really I had that one I was fucking agraded on her name and we started asking each other questions during sex and she was like What's your best friend's name and as I came I went John like that's just that was the moment

I don't delete on the show edit. What do you think about? We're starting to start deleting. You want to start over? Yeah, we're still the whole thing over. Yeah, what? That's my story. So you're you're you're you're back you're you're getting a little bit of affection.

Yeah a little bit. I mean just try to you know those know, just trying to make sure. Those smash-rainy, yeah, like, no commitment. Smashing that push. But see, like, a lot of girls on there are like, oh, I'm looking to me, I'm looking to date, and it's like, well, that's not what, like, it's supposed to be the heterosexual grinder.

Right, like, like, like, grinders, literally like, like, gay dudes are just like, who is by, who's close to me. Who's near me, let's fuck. I love the hangar one second. He said, who is by, and then he realized, fuck, who's near me? Yeah. But then what are we supposed to do?

What do you mean? I don't like doing it out. I don't like different kinds of dick. I like the same dick. I don't want to go out and just fuck fuck fuck fuck. I want to be with someone else. Yeah, but he's just saying that. So meet somebody like the way normal humans meet somebody

and go to a bar and say, hey, I're attracted with a drink that's the way people do it So if you're not trying to just fuck off of this app for fucking don't bitch about it Yeah, like you're trying to go on dates with dudes who are on this I'm like Kelly first of all if they're on tender in General they're probably just trying to fuck you. Yeah, that's it. So why you trying to find out like do research on if this is a good Guy or not he's on tender. He's not I just found out trick ones not actually a nice guy not anymore he was an awesome guy listen I think first of all why don't you just say what you're really saying Troy I'd like to you fuck me consistently for the next three months Uh, can you take me hiking? She can.

That was it. What are the best ones I've heard of? What are the best ones I've heard? It was made, it was precise, relevant, current. I don't, I think I should, should I hit the stop button? Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. It's a real ass dude. I wish the stop button? Oh, no. Oh, no.

Fuck, it's a real ass dude. I wish you fucked up my headphones this week. Oh, god. Listen, you think you're out of Troy's league is what you're saying. Yeah. No girl is out of your guy's league really. No, no, no, no, he's going for girls that have got like, hot body.

Try to consider her ex. Wait, wait, one beautiful sleeve, cute little hair, like little little girl. Don't say yourself, he's right here. No, I'm not, I'm not. There's don't guys that go for me, divorce dads that are overweight, and there's a certain type that he would go for.

No, I don't, Kelly, don't tell yourself. Stop, stop, stop, stop. You have to understand the psychology what's going on, don't they know what's happening. She's under, she's under, she's under, she's under selling it. So that you're gonna go no, no, no, no, I fuck you. I'm falling right into it. Kelly. So now you're gonna fuck her. You gotta say what she's doing. You know it. Dante.

You're gonna say you're so short. You have to also sell yourself. No, I'm gonna know. He's like and you're funny. And you're funny. I was like, no, was like no, no, no, don't say you're sub-short I would definitely fuck you and let you blow me But I'm definitely not gonna ever ever go You're not gonna ever see me on Christmas or Thanksgiving But you'd see me like after Christmas He looks like what's the winner of the guy just won sex His man alive and Bradley Cooper combined

We're not gonna help you eat jokes No, it's not a joke, I'm being honest Figure it out in your head and just say it And Bradley Cooper combined. We're not gonna help you eat jokes. I'm being figured out in your head and just say it and Bradley Cooper. Stop now say it again. It's not a joke though. It's a statement. I'm gonna statement your face. What are you doing? Well anyway, here's the thing too is we had talk about relationships being over. Who could you be talking about? He's got 20 years of radio experience. So we, uh, what's up?

Fucking Kelly, 25 pounds, 25. Um, he, you, you, Miguel, you came down for the right gas live show the goodness of your heart and you sold merch for us that night You're a stand-up comedian. Yeah New guy correct seven years. Well, you are not a talented guy That is correct that yeah. I'm doing that right. As soon to be. By the way, Miguel is gonna hit that point like a lot of comics do where they start realizing that it's not good to say the actual amount of time so he's gonna roll it back.

Roll it back. Like when you're a young comic you're like you ever like the first time you thought about comedy that's when you started seven years. But then it's gonna be at the point of 11 years when it isn't having any shit. It's like, you know, I took off five years. I did it for like four, you know. I've been only doing comedy for four years. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm all right. I'm about to have my ass. You're Dominican too. Where are you gonna headline? First of all, those rooms don't count. No, Lafayette Club in Bloomington, Illinois. Yeah, that, where? In Bloomington, Illinois.

Yeah, that doesn't count. Bloomington, Bloomington. 200 people. That's a good one. Yeah, ain't nobody people are gonna show. 40, but it's the number. But I won't be there, that's 40. 40.

39, my. They gave away, they gave away 38 tickets. Listen, so his girl is your wife. My wife, my wife. His wife, do you have a kid? Yeah, we have a 10 month old. You have a 10 month old. Beautiful little boy and you have a beautiful wife.

I have a wife. I have a beautiful wife, I have a beautiful wife. You wife. I have a beautiful. I have a beautiful wife. I'm very careful. I'm beautiful. She fucks We stop can you name in facts mother fucker So he comes down and she didn't I mean he got a big trouble you got a really big trouble Yeah for coming down that night and and and being a part of the live show and helping us out. Can you explain what happened? Well, can you, without a game. No, I can tell you.

Don't let her listen to this. No, she doesn't care about my career. So she's not gonna listen to this. That's just great. This is totally fun. No, she cares that you don't have this career. She cares about you having a career in the medical field. Yeah, that's what it is.

What is that? She doesn't want me to do comedy. What are you? At a hospital, I'm a nurse at a hospital. I work in a medical field. What is that? She doesn't want me to do comedy. What are you? At a hospital, I'm a nurse at a hospital. I work in a psych unit. So you're gay? I mean, for the show, I will be if you need me to do it. No, so you're a nurse.

You're a full-fledged nurse. A psych unit, yeah. So you went to a nursing school? I went to LaGuardia for, I'm an LPN legal practicing nurse which is one level below an RN. I give up meds, I do everything. I do actually what you used to do. I take care of special needs people.

Right, okay. Okay, and this is a job that pays well. Yeah, I make close to almost 50 a year. So it pays, it will. Okay, full benefits, full benefits, everything. That's what Lewis makes by the LOL. That was a compliment, dumb, dumb, 50 grand. Beatrice makes that.

That's what you're gonna spend it on weed and put it in the mailbox. That was a compliment dumb dumb 50 grand Beatrice makes that Spend it on weed and put it in the mailbox So sticking out the whole fucking building the fucking hide weed in the mailbox and dreaming about Kelly's pussy Why would she not want to be with you? Fucking shit mouth My husband has a rotten tooth fucking does that he lies to me all the time and dreams about fucking a mediocre chick He's great. It's one of the better Puerto Ricans out there though. Yeah, yeah, so anyways So she got mad at you because you came down right? Yeah, well the thing about her is that she already wants me to stop doing But she doesn't want me to stop doing comedy. She wants me to do it less

Because she wants me to be home more and that's the want me to stop doing comedy. She wants me to do it less, because she wants me to be home more. And that's the thing, you can't do it less. Once you have some traction going, you have to keep going. So when is the traction gonna happen? You know, I'm done to less mics and stuff, so that's cool. Yeah, that's what's, so that, less mics in your hand, hopefully.

Well, that night she got really upset because Kelly just called me two days before, and that night was supposed to be a night where I was supposed to stay home We have coordinated nights. Why stay home right and I was like what take care of the baby like I have to you take care of the baby And she has a day off or something no, she stayed home mom. No, she's a teacher Do you have a nanny and when I mean nanny one of your mother's? One of your Puerto Rican one of your central American people no No, we don't have any. Her mother watches the baby, but after that, we take care of our son.

Yeah, that's a nanny. That's okay, yeah. Because here's the deal. White people have your people come, and you guys just have your relatives come over. Yeah, so. All right, so. So she was pretty upset because I,

it was supposed to be now, I was supposed to be home, and that's why I was late because we were fighting. She was if you leave this house to go do this thing for this fucking Robert Whatever the fuck so you got a mad at me Well, I was like it's Robert Kelly's like I don't know what the fuck that is I'm like and not a lot of people do but I do she's like I just do it. He's actually not even important It's like a deal is celebrity you fucking bag it open what now So that's why she was like no, I'm scared. Yeahist celebrity, you fucking faggot. Opian what now? I'm just gonna ask him. So that's why she was like, no, I'm scared.

Don't take them, I don't know. Those guys are really famous. I love them though, my big great. I do, yeah. So no, so she was like, if you go out, do not expect to come back. Cause that's what she does to me. She's always like, when it's the end of the day.

Listen, I don't listen. I really, I'm gonna stop you. Yeah. Right here. Okay, you've already had the fight. Mm-hmm. You kinda worked it out, right here, okay, you've already had the fight You kind of worked it out right? Okay, I don't want you to be on this show. This is what you're doing right now Yeah, you're about to fucking start saying some shit about you check. Yeah, and it's kind of it's recording

Yeah, okay. Yeah, this is recording on three different things right now video and two audios right she will hear this And you're gonna have to fucking deal with this is what my wife does. She should hear it. Okay, that's right. And that's right. Okay, listen, I just threw that disclaimer out. Yeah, okay.

Now it's up to you. We had the fight last night about. Come in here? No, no, no, about a. About what happened before? Well, yesterday she was like, I want a new diamond ring. I already has a beautiful diamond ring. She's like I want a new one and I was like well I can't afford right now, but you know I think what she's saying she wants a real one But I just pretty nice. I mean, you know, I got a you know

I put a lot away and I paid off a one I got somebody give me for a hundred hours a month it took me like 18 months But whatever is that just popped it out of the tooth of one of his She's like I want a ring and I was like well, we can't afford a bigger ring right now. Let me I mean I got a college in I'm why do you why does she want another ring? That's what I don't understand what is she done? I mean I love her and we have a big say what you don't say the first place stop biting your tongue That's why she treats you like a pussy because you keep first place stop biting your tongue. That's why she treats you like a pussy because you keep biting your tongue. Stop biting your tongue. No, so we talk about this. All right, so she wants

a new ring, but the other day I told her, look, the flight to Bloomington is gonna be $200. She was like, wait, I'll have it right now. Wait a minute. You don't have a meter go to common, but you have, you just said you started to say something. This is why she doesn't respect you because you keep editing your stuff when he says respect. He means respect RPSPK So you keep editing yourself because you're you're apologizing for for who you are and what you are And so she doesn't respect who you are. That was for you, but thank you.

I think it's your time. And all the other white people. Or respect, very white people. Because you keep biting your tongue about who you are. Yeah, at what point have you said to your chick, hang on. You shot him, you're hiding, weed in your mailbox. You shot your mouth.

That's right. It's different, dude. It's not my chick. If my chick told You're hiding? It's different, dude. If my chick told me I couldn't go do comedy, we wouldn't fucking be together. But the only reason why she doesn't do that because she knows that's the button, though, is that she's got respect.

You said, what did she do? You were gonna say, what did she do to earn another ring? And if that's what you think, that's what you should say to her, what did you do to earn a ring? Well, I mean, told her that I was like look you said that I said I said I said We cannot get another ring right that's not you have a beautiful ring already That's not what you meant Stop saying what you what you think she wants to hear and say what you think you got to say what did you do to earn a ring another ring?

What did you do All right, ring another ring what did you do? All right, okay, all right. I'll give her that much I backed off a little bit. Let me tell you something She how old is she she's 25 she's 25. She's got your she's young Dude I'm gonna say younger chick. You're you'll have a kid together Yeah, we have a time on the right and you have you been married how long two years? Okay, so and how long will you together two years? Look you she's and she's 26, she's already on a downswing, she's 26, she's got three good years left. She's got three hot years left and it's done. She's got a kid.

So even if you even if she left you to be with somebody, or somebody's got to put it with your car, I'm snatcher. And so she's done. You got all her good years. All you need to do is stop biting your tongue about what you think and be yourself. I'm gonna tell you something from, well that's because you were already,

you're ready was a comic when you got married and everything. I'm gonna tell you from her, so from a white, perfect person's perspective. Like I know what you're saying. Yeah. There's gotta be, it took me a long time to get married to my wife because it took a long time to kind of set a foundation down

of, I was in love with comedy number one before anything for years, okay? There was a transition where I learned that I could, I was afraid that if I found love, if I gave myself to another human being, if I decided to have a family, if I moved out of the city, all this shit, people, places and things would make me less funny, less, not hustle, not want it, and be satisfied. Hungry.

Yeah, less hungry. And um, It's hard to imagine. Never have this to you. That's why I didn't say hungry. That's why I would not give you hunger. I really wouldn't give I was good saying Everything I was but hungry, but YouTube fucks set me up like raptors And you fucking hungry

Biggie-giggie clever girl Nothing nothing could be further from the truth nothing. I'm funnier now. I'm more hungry than I've ever been hang on I was gonna say it. No, and I agree with you. Okay, but here's a thing though. There is a If my wife had said to me if you leave this house I'd be like first of all you can't you can't give me threats. You can't threaten me right? You can't threaten me Okay, with my passion. You understand? You can't threaten me.

If I was going to fuck something or do drugs or harm myself, I do it, but I have an opportunity right now that I want to take advantage of. And it is fucked up, and I apologize. I do want to be with you tonight, and I do want to be with the baby. It is my night, but I apologize. I don't, I wish, I do wanna be with you tonight and I do wanna be with the baby. It is my night, but I have this opportunity that I think I should take, right?

And I wanna do it. I might be fucking up. I might make the wrong choice. This might be not good. It might not help me ever. All right, but here, what is it? A month later, three weeks later, you're on the show. Yeah, that's what I do.

You say, you know what I'm saying? You're on the show. People, that's what I do. You say it, you know what I'm saying? You're on the show. People, all these people know who you are. So it went from this little opportunity to now you're on the show. Who is he? I don't know who he is. I don't know either.

I don't know who you are. I don't know who you are. I don't know, we don't know him, like no. We know there's a Dominican on the show that I promised with his broad. But listen. I run a bar show every Tuesday, guys. No, but what I'm saying, what I'm saying is is that it's on Miguel, right? Yeah, okay. We get you listen I want to bar show every Tuesday guys

What I'm saying is is on Miguel right? Yeah, okay? Beatrice books The gal's fucking Beatrice Somebody as Jesus Oh James would have dental Everyone's winning Lewis cleans his teeth with fucking carrots Listen, so you start to laugh at that bad joke

guys I get what we're going on here He's looking so you should have but I understand her. She's trying to say to you, her fears of the future are being projected upon you. You're reading more into it than it is. What are you saying?

I'm saying that it's her job to press you to make sure a woman gives you shit to make sure that you are the shit. She's giving you shit, she's pushing the boundaries because that's what she's supposed to do, to make sure that you are strong enough to put her in a place so that she can feel like she's will a guy who is man enough to be with her.

And by you, by you, bagging it around. Can I go something? You're first bagging it around. Oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry. I'm sorry, man. No, I have a lot of gays in it. first bagging it around. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. I have a lot of gays in it.

I don't mean it. I mean, I was too sensitive to it. She has the upper hand. I was sitting. One day that listens to the show, you're sitting here. You're putting it in. I do not listen to the show. You're pushing your way around, pussy footing around her,

and she doesn't respect you. That's why But don't look at us. There's also another variable there. She's 25 years old dude. It's a young Check that's exactly what she's doing it. She look the truth is it my checks 33. That's when we had a baby It's a I didn't realize your check was so young. Yeah, well, we're both are she's having how old you That young it doesn't make a difference I think it does it It does make a difference. I think it does. It doesn't make a difference when the actions are the same.

Let me tell you the same way Beatrice is punking you. Let me just say it's a little bit at 26 and 32. These women, let me say something. These women, they're watching us fucking live our dreams. Okay, and that's a hard thing, especially for a young girl who isn't living her dream. I don't care, she does not want to be a fucking, she wants to be a princess. She does want to be a fucking teacher, okay?

That's what she wants. She's watching you live your dream, and inside it's eating her up, that she's not getting to live her fucking dreams. That's not true. But her dream, hang on one second, her dream is to be married to him, have a child, raise a family, go on vacation, spend nights together, have dinner, yeah, but look to you. That's not, that's not, that's your's your wife's dream yeah that's also probably my

wife's dream no my wife's dream is not that his wife his wife's an Arab her dream you have an a 9-11 2001 you wife's most of them yeah I do for money yeah you're done yeah you try it down yeah you try it down you try to control that shit down you can control anything all chicks are the same Choked this check out they all have to fuck a wrestler down like a camera Thing that she finds attractive about you is who you are if you change who you are She won't find you attractive and she'll dump you for somebody who is what you were in the first place

And you're bugging if you think by you, you giving in. So what do you think he should do? I think that he should stop hip and stop pussy footing around what he is and say who he is. He's not going nowhere. Are you going to do comedy for a career? Is that your dream? Absolutely.

Are you a goal? Yes. So you're going to be a stand up comic. You think you're going to be able to, I'm asking you serious. I'm not being a dick. Yeah, I'm saying you think you're gonna be Professional comic. Yeah, that's gonna get paid to go around this country get on TV do shows for the rest of your life That's gonna be your thing because I know what you're gonna say go. I won't Is that is that gonna happen? I don't know, but I am willing to give it all dude

You do it stop treating comedy like comedy's a side bit. No, comedy's my main chick. That's, it's not your main chick because you're making excuses. You're going back your life. You're going back or forth between A and B plan. You have an A plan, you have a B plan. You know what I'm saying?

Like I have no B plan. I never had a once I did comedy, all the other jobs, everything was gone. And it was just comedy. And I lived in a $125 room a month because that's all my comedy could pay for. Do you understand? I ate not much because that's all my comedy could pay for.

I didn't have a relationship because I couldn't afford to be in one. I could afford to meet chicks, get ahead, and take them for coffee and blow their mind with some fucking psychology and some laughs I couldn't afford to be in one. I could afford to meet chicks, get ahead, and take them for coffee, and blow their mind with some fucking psychology and some laughs, and get head and a vestibule. I didn't understand. That's what my comedy, and as my life got, my comedy career became real,

and this is what I do. This is my day job. This is my ape. There's nothing else I can do. I don't have, so you have, you're going both. He's treating comedy like it's the side bit. It's like he's, but he's doing his, he's with a round with comedy. He's with one girl, right. Doesn't like it. And he's waiting to meet the next one so he can transition smoothly into the next awesome girl. And that's not how it works. What do you mean? You think like I'm, like I'm not happy where I'm at. And

I'm just, I don't know, I'm not talking about your relationship. Come on, come on, come on. Talk about your job, your job. You don't like nursing. Oh, not hating nursing. So you hate this, but yeah, you're doing that all the time. Because you have a job. Right.

You have to, you have a family to support. Right. You have a wife, you get a kid, you got to pay bills. So you're responsible. I got to be responsible. You got to be responsible. Yeah, right. Yeah. What he's saying and

what i'm saying is that sometimes that you have to throw everything out the window and i don't think you have to do that Lewis Lewis do that what i don't have a day job that's because you're not as funny as him you need to be you need to tell that no way on the planet but nobody would believe that ever. No, everybody is believing. No, no, no. What are you saying about me? Sorry. What am I saying? The shit she gives me, I don't understand, because.

All right, Lewis, you did a bunch of shit jobs. Yeah. Until, look, and your job with Verizon. Yeah. How the fuck do you give that up? All the money, the benefits, the perks, you got that job to where you want it. Right, the perks, you got that job to where you want it. Right, exactly.

He's got his job to where he wants it. Okay, hit my. But oh, you were gonna say that I work shit shows. That's not true. The last job I had, I was making real deal money. Yeah, but you was selling, it was a bullshitting. It was a job where you could go fuck and suck my dick at any moment.

There's people that have worked that job for 10 years and we'll continue to work that job for another 20 years. Because if you commit to it You can make $120,000 or $30,000 a year. I work at Equinox, I don't remember. Oh, right. But he is, did you commit to it? I mean, still made like 85K a year for the two years that I was there without committing to.

And now you're done. Why? Because I want to do comedy. What is your beat? It takes my mental, this is it. I'm doing my beat point. That's it. So you're stuck between worlds, man.

I don't think you have to do that. I don't think you have to, I think you took one of responsibility of a kid in the marriage and I think that is to be a man and have integrity, you need to be responsible for that. But you also cannot make excuses for you following your dream and you can't, you cannot expect her to understand

what is good for your career. So just like she did. You know how it's gonna be though, to transition, from, to go from this one life where you have this job and a family, you have nights you stay home. This, this fucking job, look at man, there's many a nights of shit, of, on the road, on Mondays and Tuesdays

and Wednesdays and Fridays and Saturday all fucking night for nothing for pennies. There's all these dues you have to pay. If you think someone's just gonna discover you in a malt shop and put you on TV, that doesn't happen. So is his family is that's gonna be a hard pill to swallow when he's got Mondays and Tuesdays where he's got to be home. And so he made that commitment. He's what I'm saying. She teaches. She's a teacher. Yeah. Okay. So in the course of her progression as a teacher, right. She made decisions that she that got her to that point so that she could teach, right? Right.

So when she took extra class, maybe she took night classes, whatever, you dealt with that and you didn't question, well, I don't think she's take that class because I don't think that's appropriate because who you weren't her guidance counselor now she she This was her endeavor. This was her dream to do this and she she was forward thinking about that and she made those decisions. Yeah, you can say forward thinking but not respect I'm missing teeth Shit together I'm missing teeth. I don't know. Oh, fucking gay shit together. Fucking right here. Working out. So my point is he, so what you're deciding,

you have to decide what's good for your career. And she can't make those decisions for you. And if you let her make those decisions for it, you're just a punk. The magic question, Troy. What do you think about this? Well, as a white guy, it's tough this? Well, it has a white guy. It's tough because he's married and has a child already.

So she has leverage over him in this situation, where it's like, if you establish it from the get go and everything in relationships really has to start from the very beginning. I mean, you have to say, this is my my passion. This is my love and I will be together A chick will a chick will agree to all of that and then change midway in a relationship Happen it was like I agree with your comedy 100% you're gonna do is every night I believe in you and now it's like is it really we're all you got married and you said I'm getting married Do you remember being at Laugh Lounge and having that conversation?

Yeah, I had that conversation with the ass, I heard my words of being with it, everybody. Everyone, and I was like, dude, just wait. So, everybody is turned on. Women in general have integrity, amnesia. They will agree to certain things. And soon as emotionally the situation changes, they will change.

That's just, that's when you go back. You don't have to go back. What do you mean, what do you you agree to but that doesn't matter She's still gonna be pissed off and she's still giving him crap Look The thing that Dante's saying and he's right about this is the reason you're in this situation is because of you There's nobody else. There's a it doesn't matter that there's different personality types and whatever it is You need to fucking lay down the law and you're right. I need to do the same shit

I need to say hey, I'm gonna smoke weed when I smoke weed You know saying I create those things because I make these promises that don't exist and if you say if you said I'm a smoke weed when I want to smoke weed and if you want to if you want to break up because of this because I'm smoking weed Then that's what you got to do. You know what she's gonna do She's gonna be pissed off and then she's gonna go. I guess he's gonna smoke weed Can I say something I want to say something to though a lot of people do break up over shit like that. A lot of people, listen man, you gotta know what you're left with.

You can't just, you can't just put your foot down and expect, you have to, you have to hang out, you have to shut up, you have to accept those consequences. Sure, absolutely. When she goes, I motherfucker, fuck you, I'm gonna move in with my friend because I'm done with you, I'm done with you and weed and and then I'm you put your foot down

I put mine down too. Let me tell you then you lose your wife you lose your kid So what I'm saying is that fine put your foot down, but make sure you it's worth it. Yes Your fucking dream is worth it. Don't just throw you dick Listen, you're fucking dream is worth it. Don't just throw your dick around. I'm not saying it. Readers are worth it. I'm not saying. I'm not saying throw your dick around.

I'm saying you have to be, if you're reasonable about what you're requesting, if you're fair, and you're being reasonable about your request, if you ask for something reasonable and she's being unreasonable, be with your request, then you need to put your foot down. Well, I look, as long, look at, here's, if you're, I don't care what,

if it's reasonable or not, it's sometimes things that your requests aren't reasonable to them. But you gotta understand, but it is to you, if you're committed to it, you're willing to accept the consequences of your, hey, this is who I am, fucking deal with it, then you're all right.

And you knew this, and you knew this getting involved with me. And there, but there's no problem with you. Let me just say, there's no problem with you saying to her, this is my identity, this is everything that I want to be. Going to work every day is a fucking nightmare for me. I need to do these things.

That it's selfish and fucked up of her to try to take that away from you. Whether, hold on, whether you knew her before you started doing comedy, you knew her afterwards. This is your fucking dream. And if I ever looked at my girl in the face and said, you can't realize your dreams. Yeah.

Because of my own fucked up shit. I'm being a fucked asshole. That's what you do to her. But Bobby, what you say? No, I can't be serious. Bobby gives me a whole speech and a whole song dance about how I'm fucking. I have thoughts and ideas and concepts, you gotta go there.

You're fucking asking. You know what the first thing you said, when you responded to it, you said, listen, you can't, you can't give me, you know, can you keep the mic away from your mouth on this phone? Okay. When you just said, the way you said it,

you said, I would say to her, you can't, you can't threaten me. What you're saying is the same thing that I'm saying. It's like the fact that she's doing it is disrespectful and she has no respect for you. And that's because she's doing it. And that's your fault. And if you don't call her on that,

you're gonna be unhappy for the rest of your life. And by the way, there's also, there's a lot of, wait a minute, I thought you weren't gonna talk. Because me and my chick, we fight a lot. And it is healthier to raise a kid with single parents than it is to raise him in a household where people are always fighting. But first of all, you don't have to fight

in front of the kid, that's a choice you make. That is hard to do. I know it's hard. It's hard in New York City, small apartment. Listen, I guess you live in the fucking Boondocks where you can go out back to the outhouse in order to just fucking hit her. Yeah, you put them in the crib and go to the other room. Listen, I lived in a city small apartment. Listen, I guess you live in the fucking Boondocks, we go out back to the outhouse in order to just fucking hit her.

Yeah, you put them in the crib under the other room. Listen, I lived in a one bedroom too. I was a duplex, really nice in the bathroom. You were in the bathroom and it was a decision. But that's not how, that's not what I'm saying. It's the decision you make. I've made the decision to try not to fight in front of the tone.

Sure. Okay, we can argue. They read the tone. All right, the tone, and it's hard, you're absolutely right. But it is a decision and I've made it and I'm not successful all the time but I'm doing good at it. But also, I've decided by going to therapy seven years ago that I'm gonna try to change.

I wanted to become a better person, not for her. Right, for yourself. Not for her. And I said that to her. Look, when all the shit went down years ago, when I got caught with all the bullshit, and you know, it was a point where like, I'm out, if you don't get help, I'm out. I should have said, I'll get help, and I didn't. I went and let me give me two days.

Give me two days, because if I'm doing this, I'm doing this for me. I'm not doing this for you to keep you, because I don't want to keep you on a false pretenses. I want to make sure that I'm really, and it took me two days and I went to all my friends. You know, Patricia was like, fuck you, don't do it. You're a piece of shit for life. One person, Colin Quinn, said he said, you should do it and try. And in six, eight months a year, you fail. And you're just a hunk of garbage.

At least you tried. But if you don't try, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. You understand? So, but I did it for me. And I made sure I verbalized that. So she knows where I'm coming from. And also she's not using this. She can't use this later to leverage the relationship

to get what she wants because she doesn't respect you in the first place. And that's really what it's about. It's women's logic sucks because their logic is based on their emotional state at the time when they're talking to you. So, we say women's, we mean women. But more women, more women, more women.

Women, nipilators, we want to get what we want to get. And she wanted to marry. That's right. She did it before. She did it before. You have to put, you're happy in this first as a asshole. He just stepped on, I got there first and he fucking literally ran me over with his fat ass. He sat on your head.

I've talked to you a lot about this. Yeah, I was talking about, yeah. And I go through some of the same shit. Me and my chick, we definitely, we've had some of the same battles where, you know, her life now is because we come taking care of this baby. It's like 24-7.

She doesn't have a day job. She's a photographer, she'll work a couple times a week. You know, her whole life is that. And I feel bad. I'm actually thinking about moving to the suburbs, you know, maybe downtown or really. Yeah, because I'll be close to my aunt, we have my sister in my aunt, so we could take some of that pressure off of her.

Bobby, you could be neighbors. She, I mean, let me tell you something, your chick. Oh, nothing. She's trying to take what you are. Wait, I don't know. I don't know. And she needs to understand that. And she understands how much that hurts, dude.

Okay, Lewis, wait, stop. Let's just stop the fucking presses. Are you really thinking of moving up to the right? That's what Lewis, she's- Maybe like him coming up and going, Bobbi, I need your gun. Bobbi, well tell me you'll leave in the cellar. I need to ride back to Tyree Town.

Beak it for me. Are you near Terry Town? No. You haven't closed yet, I know. No, it's over. It's over. Re-open the Sears card. Just kidding.

Thank God that fucking train derailed. Maybe it won't happen. Oh, man. Oh. So, are you really thinking of moving to the suburbs? Yeah. Who's up there? My aunt, my sister.

Like, like, Puerto Ricans? Another white. White is white. Really? Yeah. And did they like you? They loved Another white, white is white. Really? Yeah. And did they like you? They loved me, they loved my son. They came down for Thanksgiving, but bitches kicked him a fucking baby.

We'll bring it over. Really? Well, I wasn't close to my family. Then you have a baby, then everyone's like, I got it, I got it. I tell you, I tell you. With your life the way it is right now, it's not that bad living up there.

It's not. The train ride is pretty quick. I mean, it's a little difficult now because though that train got shut down. Terry Town was right there. Terry Town, I hardly dobs felly and ferry and then you're in the city. But yeah, it's, it's a, you'd have to use a white plane or whatever, but it's not that bad. Now, if you got a car, you'd be fine. That's it. I'd get a car, go on the road more. I'm at a point now where I think that being, like being in the city as a young comic and a 20-something-year-old guy, like you want to be

at every night to four or five of them when I don't really do I think that being like being in the city as a young comic and a 20 something year old guy, like you want to be out every night to four or five of the morning. I don't really do that shit anymore anyway anyway. Right, you know, I'll go, I'll do my spots. I'll hang out a little bit, I'll have a beer and then I'll go home. I'm out to four or five in the morning every night. So why not just, I fucking love, I am a big supporter of the suburbs now. Yeah, it's great.

I mean, there are a lot of people in the suburbs. I mean, your oldie want to get out and have quiet and be any grub of the suburb You grow in the fucking the the the bad part of the suburbs. Yeah, it was like it was like an urban area still urban But it was a suburb. Yeah, you just had a target. It's just a shitty marshals and a shitty target Burbin. Yeah, the awful babies are us They have three things on the shelf not open diapers actually. Actually, you know what? I worked in the Palisade Center Mall, which was a very nice mall in high school. All right, dude.

What is this? Your new technique? We just go serious. What do you think? Look, can you have a balance in your life? Either you're just a fucking shit dick throwing quips. Or you're fucking opening up. Have some middle ground, you fucking shit motherfucker.

Or you can... All right, listen, guys, we we're gonna wrap this fucking thing up. It's been a two hour show. All you people listening live on the you stream, watching on the you stream live channel, I hope we had no no dropouts. No dropouts. No dropouts.

We figured out the video. I don't know what that means. That means the camera did not fail. The internet works. We figured out all the bugs. Can't blame you. And we'll be doing this video. Don't know what that means. That means the camera did not fail. The internet works. We figured out all the bugs. Can't blame you. And we'll be doing this video. We'll be up. I think this will be our first video on YouTube. I'm gonna I'm gonna put that on you to get this on our YouTube channel. So this whole episode will be up on YouTube. We'll be audio linked up. It the auto's on it through like the board and everything it all it's it's perfect audio

Right on there. It's perfect. Wow goes right up there. So the as as clear as you hear it right now You hear it in the video. I tell you my guys doesn't do that shit. What is that? Smartcast. Oh, they don't what the fuck? Oh Jesus, you're not start a fucking podcast. There he is He's a real as the back area has the fucking habitual line smushers. You hear that, Kevin Smith. We're coming for you. No, we're not.

We're not coming for coming. Bobby said, Kelly said it. Watch your back, motherfucker. Listen, Troy, a fucking amazing dude. I've always liked you, bro. You've always been a cool dude. But thank you for opening up and sharing that with us. My heart goes out to you, dude.

If you ever need me, I know you're not gonna ever call me, but if you ever do need me, I know, dude. That's cool. I appreciate them, man. And just, you know, dude, God bless you, man. I really, my heart goes out to you. And I admire how strong you are. And I really appreciate you opening up

because myself with Patrice and my grandfather and life itself where I'm at, I have a little better perspective on things right now because of your story. So I know that doesn't help in any way but it really affected me man and I just pray for you bro. That's a, if you ever need me, honest to God please. Call, you know call other people first like as I'm sure there's a little bit You know if I'm on a list like I got to if that nom kidding day. No, it's cool man I just appreciate you let me come down and hang I really any fucking time good if you need any

Production done if you have a podcast if you're thinking about doing a podcast If you want production you want you show to sound fucking awesome Troy quan can I also say something? No,. About right when I'm done. No, about that. No. It's about the past. I said no. No, listen to me. Give me the answer. You want it? I was going to say it I didn't ask. Um, when I joined right. I said no. When I joined right. I said no. Bobby was there and Rob spent. I think there were very very I hate your fucking guts. No about the production quality when I because I had a podcast for a couple years before I brought it to you And before they even considered putting the podcast on the network

They're like did you need an intro song? Alasro, it needs to sound like a real fucking show. So guys that are doing podcasts and just pressing the fucking record button, that's fine and dandy, but if you want to do something with it, if you want people to take you seriously, you need awesome shit like that. So that's my little plug for Troy Cahn, who does an amazing job at that stuff. Yeah, Troy, I'm believable. He's just great.

And by the way, if you're uncomfortable working with somebody who's Troy Kwan, he's white. So just know that. I'd love to hear. Yeah, he's fucking white white, white hipster white. And if you're a girl who wants to get banged. Also, I'm gonna be on Tinder. Yeah, we gotta be hot. You have to be Kelly and above.

All right, thanks a lot. Above Kelly, I'm sorry, I worded that wrong. But you, and here's the thing too, it's very cheap, man. It's inexpensive, you're not crazy. Because I've had other people, this and that, and it's like, what the, I'd rather not have it. I'd rather do it myself. But you're actually very fair, man.

You're probably, I'm not trying to work in people's budgets, and you know, people getting started with podcasts, it's hard, man, you know, it's hard to get things going, but we can figure something out. And it's worth it's hard, man, it's hard to get things going, but we can figure something out. And it's worth it's weight and gold. Having an intro and an outro in the middle just makes it sound better, it puts the whole thing together. So how can they get in touch with the Android?

Troiquan on all the social media sites, TROYQUAN, and troiquan.com. So go to Troiquan. Miguel, what do you got, buddy? I actually got a most such a deteriorating marriage. I do not have a backbone. Can I have a fucking studio in your future? Can I call you? Such weekend visits.

Yeah, no balls. Alimony. That's about right. Seven days of fucking mentally old people. Can I call you, though? I'm from Trouble. What's up? What do you got?

Every month I run a show, I got them comedy club. It's called the DADs of Comedy. We get a bunch of comics for our fathers. Oh, that's weird. I'm a dad here, dad Bob. We've never done that show. I was. Not these a daddy just killed them all.

What ask you guys to come do it anytime you want. We just started last week's show up in awesome. Next one is December 21st at 7 p.m. I don't be there. I'm coming to club. I will be there. You want to come you more like I love that he's looking at me You can come anytime you want I'm gonna talk to be about your fucking hosting this weekend motherfucker Why he does that? What are you doing? Why would you hold that over somebody's head cuz he's gonna? He's kidding. He's just joking. Now my wife. I want me home if kidding. He's just I've dreamed you wrong young skywalk Because he did that's a Chris one time to it driving the

Chris needs to learn this fucking Puerto Rican has a rough life this guy's father's in the mob Okay, he has everything a trash a trash private He has everything. Hey, hey, Trish. Hey Trish. Private Senate Day. Louis Gomes. What do you got? Alright. Private Senate Day. Come check me in Scopo and Dave Smith out at comics of Fox with December 18th.

One night only real Astude Louis J. Gomez headlining like a motherfucker. Also go to my new website. California. So it was pretty funny for a girl. Got calm and real Astude. Do you see how much better the show goes when it's not the same fucking thing the whole

No, you know what dude there was other shit going on You're so fucking you really you you have a lot of you're very funny You don't have to just trash Kelly to be funny. You're just hilarious guy, but it's it's brewing inside of me I know it's like see what I want you to do is write it down in a blog And then one day we'll have a four-hour show and just read all the funny fat jokes about going to my fucking website. I got dates up, December dates, all of a New York City ending Connecticut, and check me out, I'll be opening for Bobby because Bobby said I could open up from anytime I want, but he doesn't take me. So one day I'll be opening for Bobby.

And look at my shows, you're with the same management whenever you want. Okay, I'm gonna do it. You're in fucking Jersey and Albany this month, and And I was like why am I not on those shows? Well, I had fucking big pussy from a soprano's opening for me at Catching Prince and I didn't know that I had no idea was he funny? Kelly what do you got? No, he was he was a good guy. He was a good guy. He was very funny Besides Lewis, I had my box in these dreams. Hi mate. Oh my god. Why does that turn me on? That she's gonna end to it. I wasn't nightmare, but you know what I was and he always wants to make out with me every time I'm drinking. I just I just cut Troy looking at you in Fuck mode. No, I swear to God. He was just like, yes.

No, it's the haircut now. Let's do it. Yeah. Friday 13th. I'm gonna be at Stunt, New York for a the album real blue Friday 13th I'm gonna be at Stantley York for a the album Blue You get no more get the gong away from me. No, no more gong. Friday the 13th 10 p.m. It's set up New York friend of mine, Abogallaya, Shroomal is has an album release party so I'll be on her show and supporting her and that'll be great. Awesome. Great. Awesome. What do you what do you got? Date you can check my website down to anywhere that I for all the dates But check out my podcast. I'm gonna probably have this knucklehead on so I can fix them It needs to get his balls back. Yeah, you a few beige Philip Podcasts it was actually the extension of the show that we did on ONA me and Patrice did on ONA

The black Philip show right and John on his dark and yeah, right so I'm beige and if we'll ever did it be called pump a nickel Philip it be called pump a nickel fill up it be and it's sort of it was the could you hurt yourself I think there was a racist God fucking some black sledge so it's a black sledge goes down under shango oh my god so I got the it's the continuation of the podcast. After we stopped doing the podcast in 2008, kind of got a cult following. And then guys were begging me to kind of pick up the torch and do that.

So I've been doing that weekly on, you can get it on iTunes. And you know, and we're fixing dudes trying to get dudes to be a little more manly and more credible and stop pushing around Whatever oh you come back on we'll do we'll we'll love another little rap maybe some people on it You can fucking we'll fix it Yeah, all right scopo I'll be with Lewis J Gomez and then you can see me at all a while and my

I know I know it is you can pick up collection money Every day through the week and his fucking yeah cash is on the early Early portion of the month anyways, is it really cash in the beginning of the month? Yeah, all right listen, don't know. I don't want you getting snubbed out. You father. You got to take him out You guys my son. I don't give a fuck He told the fucking cash thing right on the air. We show up, the fucking scopo's got a fucking bullet through his one ass shake. Listen man, go to my website, what do we got for dates?

Yeah, December 13th, 14th, you're at the Allenton Draffthouse in Allenton, Virginia. I'm very excited to play this gig, I heard it's amazing. I heard this is really close. I'm coming to Virginia. So all your motherfuckers who have been asking me, make sure you get all your friends and tell everybody and spread the word. One night only, December 27th, you'll be at the comedy shop in Blackstone in North Wontaus, New Jersey. Yeah, it runs a great club out

there. It's a one-nighter, but he's really putting together a nice little stringer club. So also, the December 28th, you're doing the comedy shop pure in Parcipini, New Jersey. Great. Love it. Same. The 30th Mount Erie Casino in the Polkanos. Yeah, that's me.

And I believe that's the 30th. That's, no, that's not. There's it. No, that's actually me and Nick DePolo. Oh, great. We're doing a show one night only. That's going to be really fun. Nick DePolo is probably one great. We're doing a show. One night only, that's gonna be really fun. Nick DePolo is probably one of the funniest guys in the planet.

He's a beast. He's a beast. The 31st, you'll be at the Mohican Sun Casino. One night only there. That's New Year's Eve. I'm at Mohican Sun. So get your asses down there. Get your tickets.

It's a small room, but it's a great room to see comedy. And you want to have a night out. Spend the money, go there. It's safe. You don't have to drive anywhere. Gamble, see the show, get shit faced, have some food, go back to your room, fuck, throw up, take a shower, go to fuck home. That's on the 31st at Mohican Sun.

The January 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th, you'll be at the American Comedy Company in San Diego, California. West Coasters, you want to be in LA? That's as close as I'm getting. So make the drive. Come down to San Diego. I'll be there. I heard this club is great. So all the other shows you guys want to go, just make sure that you go to Robert Kelly Live.com. All my dates are up there. You can get my award-winning iPhone app on the App Store, Robert Kelly Live. It's free, like everything I try to give you guys. You can go to my website, look at my real, you can go to my Twitter and follow me. The main thing is, man, support our live shows, all this stuff we do, all these podcasts, all this, this is all free for you guys.

We need you to come to our shows and support us and come up after the show and say fan of the podcast. That means a lot. It's you stick out. We know that you're a real fan because if you listen into this fucking bullshit every week for two hours, that takes time and energy and we love you for it. So that's it.

You guys are the best fans in the world. This is a great show. I had a blast. I hope you guys did too. So check it out next week. Dude! Shitty jobs, shitty jobs, shitty jobs, shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free, and they're all free. Don't stop filming my face.

Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop.