Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rich Vos | Silly Old Men

Episode Date: June 26, 2022

This week Bobby's back from Europe and is joined by the Legend Rich Vos as they talk hats and the many flavors of Mush Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Si no, por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga.

Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caixa Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitas lo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caixa Bank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Informa, tencaishabank.es. Caishabank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud.

Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be see. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o Sensación de Vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Oh, what's in the box? Oh, whoa, I've been waiting months for this. Check this out. Oh, no. All right, we have a special guest coming in.

Your background, what is that? Hold on a second, somebody's teasing me. Hold on a second, that's not my fault. Okay, sorry. This is on there. I think we definitely have power in your toes. We gave trolls a template for how to nail each other. And this.

Less to the true. Oh, shit. Did you break your pants? No, man! I think that's it. Nope, you get this too He's always been fun to be friends with you doing stand-up comedy all these years So hit the button click it patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. You'll thank me later patreon.com.a. Robert Kelly. I talked to Uncle Juno Johnny, she had a date. It's got the best

Yeah, baby, we're starting the podcast right now I talked to Uncle Judy Johnny, she had to get a date. It's got to be a business. Yeah baby, we're starting the podcast right now! We're back, you know what, to live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW, we're back. I started the social media podcast. The fact that YKW did podcast. YKW did back again. Old school, back in the day.

We're all starting before them all. Y'm P.Y.K.D.I.U.D. This podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up, you're ruining this. Bring the bar down, I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done.

Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. You know what? We're back and I got guests. And of course, they're letting himself rich boss. That's right. Rich boss is our guest today. Uh, I, there he is right there. Oh my God. What a fruity, patuity you look like today. What's going on? I like these glasses, sir. You shouldn't. Huh? Why? Go ahead.

Why are you wearing women's glasses? I don't think they're women's. I think they're retro. I got them at the dollar store. 100% an old woman. They came from a dead old woman's house. I think they look better than these. Well, you know what?

Put them, the other one's back on. Those. I mean, I'm going to tell you, you're right. They do pop. I wish you did. But they match my shirt. I wish you did. But they match my shirt. Yeah, and they match your gainus. Hahaha.

Was this the first podcast back from a Europe? No, I've done, I did podcasts from Europe. I did them from the hotel. I didn't, there was a couple of my name make because the time difference was too fucked up. Six hours ahead is rough. You know, seven o'clock podcasts is one o'clock in the morning there.

Yeah, I get the whole six hours ahead because then you go back to the country here. Like nine o'clock there is two o'clock here. Okay. Yeah. You get what I'm saying? That's seven hours ahead. Now let's do seven hours behind. I said six. Oh, you did. It's not seven. It's six. Europe is six. You had it and then you lost it because you're fucking greedy and you got excited, okay? And it's seven it's not seven it's six hours ahead. Oh So you were doing podcasts from there like did you ever do like sitting on a balcony? You know drinking like fucking, you know like express or capricina like an Amsterdam or something, you know

Like with a scarf on early in the morning. I am. Listen, I am a known assimilator. I am 100% would I, if I spend a week somewhere, I assimilate, I become Italian, I stuck on Chao, Gratzi. You know what I mean? I am 100%.

I go to fucking the Netherlands. I got a hat I'll get a scarf. I sit out a cafes I'm I am guilty of assimilating to wherever I am if I went to Egypt's I'd fucking start praying to Allah If I went to you know, I will do that I am a hundred percent when I when I moved When I was 21 like I this girl I live with who my first I guess love you know I called sleeping with like my best friend I mean I saw it I climbed up on a roof and saw them laying in bed together I was rubbing his chest he was my best what happened was she used to pick me up from work. I was selling cars, right? This leads into an insimme whatever you said you do on that, you know, another country and

She never showed up So my friend picks me up and goes, yeah, I heard Stases over at Louise. I'm like so I used to live at this house. It was me, Louise, Jeff We never locked a door once in our lives ever You know, we just in love and I get there on a door locked So I climb up under roof and I look through the window and She's laying in bed with a rubbin his chest and stuff Yeah, so I kicked the window glass flu and he got a little scar on her as I

For the rest of his life. She's and he got a little scar on her eye for the rest of his life. She's a man. And then she started dating Lily to get away from me. And I went to our apartment and I took her clothes and threw it out on the porch. You know, I remember my mother coming over telling me, hey, don't worry about it, whatever. You know, giving me a talk.

Shout out to Daddy left you. You know how to deal with it. So, you know, I was fucking I was broken. I was real, you know, one night I picked her up at a bar or something and and banged her and after and I picked her up and I called him. I go, get you, I'm fucking now. Then I kicked her out. Jesus Christ. I to uh, how old were you? Oh? 45 and That is not the that is not the actions of a 40 if you

I was in my 20s the 45 year old girl climbing a roof and kicking the wind. I was like, I think probably like 22. Wow. I moved to Colorado. Yeah. You know, my friend was living out there. Plus, you know, I'm doing coke and drugs and whatever. Yeah. And within a week in Colorado, I buy a fucking cowboy hat like, you know, so I could

fit in like, you know, you know, because they all have fucking cowboy heads out there and I was gonna say something they do that. It's not like it's not like Norton is gonna wait the fight. You wear it a fucking hat for you. I'm fucking Jew. You know, so you can do it. Yeah, I'm with you. I mean that was way before I was a comic and everything and I lived in Colorado. But that only lasted six weeks and I came back home. But I brought my cowboy hat with me and I think I wore it here and people fucking stood. That got fucking tossed real quick.

Oh, the cowboy hat back to Jersey? When I got back, because I couldn't live, I couldn't take it after six weeks, the cold weather, depressing, you know, painting houses, getting on a bus to go to work. You know, I was a drug addict. I don't do that kind of shit, work and stuff. Right. I have a cowboy hat.

And where cowboy fucking hats. Was it a real one? Or was it like a, like a, the one you get at the gas station made of? I know. I went to a cowboy hat store. Oh, you did? Yeah, it was like, it had to fucking, in the front of it, the feathers or the sweat, you know what I mean?

Yeah. No, it was fucking nice. It was nice. I almost bought a hat in Amsterdam. Uh-huh. I went to an English hat store. I just got hats in my head. I don't know what the fuck.

I think it's an age thing. I just got hats in my head. I don't know what the fuck. I think it's an age thing. I think around 45, 50. Do you have a Jesus couple? Oh yeah, it's, it's, it's, it, I couldn't find a Moses cup. Sorry, one second string and I got Jesus. I, I think I set mush. Oh, first of all, I gotta read this.

I'm sorry. I wanna thank, I totally,, I got to read this. I'm sorry. I want to thank, I totally write up front. We read these. I want to thank our sponsors. We have a new tier sponsor. I don't know why it's not showing up here. Mushy there. What's happening?

Everything's all fucked up, mush. I apologize. I want to thank JP from the Gui Times podcast network for joining our small business tier. For fans of old school ONA, he has 10 different series all on the same feed, like Yo, Future Me, Girl Times, and more. So go check them out. There are a new member of the thing here of the small business here we have.

So if you're a small business and you can't afford to pay the holy shit advertising fees, you can get a little thing right up front. There you go. Anyways, dude, I bought this hat. Mush, do you have that hat? Or did I send it to Nicole? Oh my God. I got hats like I can give you like brand new. I got my head bigger than your head. No, it was given to me brand new in the box. I got to bring them to you.

You'll wear it. I have to bring it. Can I see it right now? That's something like closet. Do I take like three minutes to walk up and come down and get ahead I got to do an ad go do it. I want to see this hat is Oh, that fucking the Adam's family photo behind you is That is the creepiest reveal I've ever oh Jesus Christ. Oh my god that reveal is terrifying

faces, they're just scared Oh my God, that reveal is terrifying. Look at their faces. They're just scared. Their eyes follow you wherever you go in the room. That's funny. What if Bonnie's behind there right now? I just start blinking. It really is a thing that happens to me. And I'll admit it. When I go to other, when I went to, when I went over to Rome and then I mean, I fall into their culture so easy. I love Europe. I loved it. I love walking everywhere. I loved outdoor cafes.

I love the food. Everybody smokes, knowing gives a fuck. It's a totally different vibe out there. I just, I loved it. I loved it. I'm back. I'm back here. And, you know, it's, it's, you know,

where, where. Yeah. I mean, do they have, you know, they have churches that are older than our fucking, you know, okay. Yeah. So yeah. I love, like, just the way you say it in one sentence,

the butter is better over there. The butter is better, baby. The butter's better, baby. The butter over there is so good. It was so good. I mean, I would crave for it. It's rolled up in little tubes. And then they have one that has salt on top of it. Motherfucker, you get a piece of that bread.

That bread is nuts. Nuts. And you swipe it on the top and I didn't gain weight I didn't gain a fucking pound while I was over there is that crazy it makes sense you're walking way more you're eating overall better anyways yeah really I you know I'm glad to be home but it's so funny I love I love Max and Donna I mean I'm driving up the street in the car. Max was running up the street,

and then they were jumped in the car and just held me for like a minute. Like just grabbed me. So, oh, here we go. Hat time. The wolf boss. Oh my God, why are you dressing so, you look like an extra in Miami Vice. What are you doing? Shut your mouth. Why are you dressing so you look like an extra in Miami vice? What are

you doing? Shut your mouth. Why you dress with the colors? What's up with all the colors? I'm sorry. I didn't know I was doing a fucking formal podcast. I just threw the shit on. Sorry. I mean, you really get angry. Really fast. Go from the

Okay, let me see these hats. And you know, this is from a famous hatch store in New Haven. Why is it oil on the box? It's never worn it crystal hat to hold the very old but they never have been worn or a pizza on top of it. What's going on? Okay, I don't even know they look like anymore. I haven't looked at them. I can have one. I can have one. I'll probably give you both of them if I don't wear them. Oh, probably like a couple hundred bucks. Oh, this one is fucking. Let me see this one. Oh, this is great. Let me see that. Oh, yeah, man.

I like that one. Let me see it. Can you hold it up to the camera? Don't put the plastic back on. Like hold it back a little bit so we can see it. Yeah, that's a nice one. I like that one. Is what is it made out of? Rabbit or wool?

Uh, did you buy that like a? No, they were gifts. They were gifts from who? Set a clean up dinner. I played golf with up there. He loves him fanatical. We're said, sedate the entertainer. And this is from, these are Bailey Hatch,

which are great, Bailey. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not going to sit and read what it's for. What a retellant, crushable, fur blend. Yeah, okay. Okay, this one's fucking nice. I love what is crushable man? You can smash it? Well, I mean, there's a level. So your whole you've had that hat. That was a gift and you just had it. You never want to get to. Yeah, get

where you're playing golf. He goes, oh, you know, because he knows that one has. He goes, I, these were, you know, I never wore these. They're brand new. I thought you might like them. And I, I, it's hard for me to say no. I mean, I thought they were nice, with a nice suit or something. You know, what did you say? What did you say?

It's hard for you to say what? Say no. To free shit. Well, to stuff I like, yeah. I'm not going to take everything free. What size is it? Is it a 60? I don't know. Well, look, on the not gonna take everything free. What size is it? Is it a 60? I don't know.

Well look, on the box, it says it. Inside the box. It's one that can endure a bit. One of the other one. Show me the other one. Thank you, motion. I wonder if I can return them to the store there and get something.

Are you fucking why? Why? You wanna get what? 60 bucks or make me happy? First of all, these are... Ooh, I want that one. I'll swear to God. What size is that?

I want that. Large. I want that hat. Huh? Can I have it? There we go. You know what, keep it. You knew this all the time. Well, I don't.

I always give you something. But you got to do that. What does that mean? I get too excited. What are you talking about without you without going, hey, that's nice. I think I want it. I want it. And then you make fun of me for like liking free stuff.

I would ask no. See, dude, the difference between you and me is simple. Is a lot. No, what? There's a lot of differences. We're not the same person. Here's one of them. Do you want this? Yes, I'll give you about sales. When the fucking customer says yes, done, done. You don't talk anymore, thank you. I just said I'd give it to you, and then you were gonna go into the reasons why I could give it to you, but I already said I'd give it to you. So that's, you're gonna give me both of them, you said. Well now, maybe you like this one the best.

I like, let me see the black one again. Is there a feather in the black one? No, there's no feather. What size is the black one? Medium. Read it. Oh my God, you don't try, okay. Here's the bet.

If it's medium, you don't get anything. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not taking that bet. I'm not taking that bet. I'm not taking that bet. I'm not taking that bet. Just give me the large because why? Because you're me. I'm just asking you what size it is and I don't trust you because you're 65. It's not that it's not that Is that a 60? No, it doesn't have a number right here. This one says, this is medium.

Look, what is it saying? M. I want the large one. The medium would fit your head. Who me? Yeah. I don't think I look good in these type of these type of Now you look like a sitting Jew Right

Yeah, you know look a good drive the brown one on Let me see that This is way too big. That's too big and you look acidic You that would look good on me. I'll give you this one. All right, I'll take that one. What are you going to give it to me right now? Oh, can I drive it over? You will?

No. Well, Dawn, I said I was going to buy that blue one, like gray blue one in Amsterdam, a hundred bucks, and she said no. And I was like, why? She goes, did you learn magic in Amsterdam? All right good point. I do I want a nice hat. Well this is it. I'm in. See how that is and I accepted her no and then the universe still brought me a hat because I have positivity

in the universe still brought me a hat because I have positivity in the universe. No, because you have good friends. Okay, I'm sorry. What were you saying about circling around yourself? Just call me a planet. I don't know, you're talking about the universe. Anyways, no, I do have good friends. They have fantastic friends and you're one of them. All right. So you want the brown one? I'm gonna write Bobby on the box hold on. Yeah. We make it. All right. I don't have a pen, but is this supposed to be a furious people?

Anyway, they don't get a free hat. Hey, have you been over to Europe at all? Yeah many times I used to where I worked England Amsterdam Scotland Hong Kong I didn't like the best is Amsterdam. I think Great crown the actually the Amsterdam crowds were good, but I think Amsterdam as far as being in a city was the funnest Do you like when I went to of course I did all the shit like going to the Van Gogh Museum, the Wright Museum, the Anne Frank House, all that shit. I guess the Wright Museum was pretty fucking amazing. I didn't do any museums.

I walked around. I just walked around and went into little shops. I just kind of went into, I just walked around. I went to the Torture Museum. What? Torture Museum. When they play your act there? Don't you hit when people go, when people go, you're act like we're fucking sure as crimes. Hey, how's it? What's your act like? Shut the fuck up. That's what it's like.

All right. There. Go ahead. You want to entourage from music. One people, you don't like when people ask you what you're asked like? Yeah. What's your act? What's, what do you want? What's my act? I fucking juggle and then I fucking swallow fire and then I fuck your mother. Jesus Christ, boss. I mean, what the fuck? There's what I know what type of comedy you do. Hey, we hear act like shut up. I got come out in a unicycle. Jaling bowling pins and then I fuck your mother Jesus nice dude what the fuck man I mean funny let me funny thing if he really did just fuck guys moms Don't be believed you and then Joey, why is he doing this?

He's the banger. That's his closer, mom. Yeah, I think I have seen, I've never been to Hong Kong though. Who did you go to Hong Kong? Richard Robinson? Was that his guy? Was that his name? Well, this was years and years ago, and I was booked there. One, it's a 15 hour flight. It's a long flight. It's a long flight.

Yeah, it's a big one. And I was working with Jim David. So every time, like he sat in front of me every time he turned around and talked, it's like a fucking shower. I thought, I spit when I talk. This guy's a fucking rotating sprinkler. You know, and we had, you know, I mean, I wasn't close with Jim David, but we did, I think we went together to, you know, it's a big tourist thing in Hong Kong, the big Buddha,

you could look it up online, it's where, you, whatever. You go, it's like going to the Statue of Liberty in America. Right. And I kind of thought, and I could be wrong, this had to be maybe 20 years ago, 80. I didn't know, I kind of thought Hong Kong was kind of dirty. I just didn't, like people love it. Now they go, oh, we went to Hong Kong. It was great. You know, I didn't know it was hard at water food, unless we went with somebody that understand,

and understood how they're, what, you know, what to get off the menu, or what to, you know. You went to Hong when it was owned by Britain. I don't know if it was still owned by people. I'm pretty sure, and maybe Scruffy bones can help me out. Recently, maybe in the last 10 years or something, Britain had a hundred year lease on Hong Kong. Yeah.

And they give it back to China, and China is trying to make it into China. And they're like, fuck you, we're Hong Kong. We want to stay Hong Kong. And they're having a big problem over there with that. But yeah, back when you went 20 years ago, it was a British owned. Well, I know, because I try to get a refund, a refund in Hong Kong said, you know,

contact Britain, England, and no one, I couldn't get them on a phone, so I never got my refund, because I couldn't find the real owner. I hate you. 1997 you fucking idiot. 1997, uh, when she just brought it up, uh, July 1st, I believe 1997, they gave it back. Britain used to own the fucking world.

They only lay on the whole fucking world. And you would think such a small country had that much fucking power. Well, I mean, look at Rome. Rome is such a small place now, but back in the day, they owned everything. They conquered everybody. And Britain did the same shit back in the day, and they wound up giving it all back.

Yeah, well, they came here and saw what happened. You don't fuck with us. Well, we are them. That's why I mean, they actually did conquer, because we are them. That's why I mean, they, they, they actually did conquer because we are British. We're British people. No. What do you mean no? Just what I said, no. I don't understand what you mean. You know that we came from there and then we just didn't want to be under King rule. We just, yeah, we broke away during the Civil War. Yeah. So we're British. We're from Britain.

You just say, yeah, I said the civil war just to test you. Not the civil war. I'm talking about the other war. I believe it was a revolutionary war. Yes, a revolutionary war. But it's kind of early to be smoking cigars. I know. I haven't really smoked at my house. It's such a beautiful day. I didn't smoke that much on tour, to be honest with you, that whole time I smoked here and there. I didn't smoke a lot. You know, anywhere you went over there, you could

get fucking Cubans. Yeah. This is a Cuban right now. This is what Cuba's got. Now, I only bought a couple of them over there. But anyways, yeah, Hong Kong. We should have smoked Cuban. We put a mushy mic on the grill. He's Mexican. You put him on the griggy, he's gonna take like a nacho.

He's gonna take like a nacho. He's gonna take like a nacho. He's gonna take like a nacho. He's gonna take like a nacho. He's gonna take like a... And be smoky. You know, like pork belly. Yeah, it's a different mean. Pork belly. It's a different, it's a brown bean. It's not a black bean. We put them in the pot just to season our food. Yeah, he's low sodium. Yeah, he's low sodium. We have a moustuce that we...

I wish it started selling moustuce. Oh, yeah. He's gone, I really am mild hot sauce. You can throw on anything. You can see him on like this thing that twitches. He's like hot sauce and come. You put them on like a lathe and you turn them and just twist them. Scrape stuff off them. Put them on later, whatever comes out of his belly button we put in water boiling in the bottle. We scrape his nut sack with a butter knife. We pluck all

the hairs under his balls up his asshole fucking lane. And then we take the root and we squeeze the roots and we we use that for a protein drink. We we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we We still use scrap stuff up like shwama We have a cookbook 100 ways to cook mush The mush method Are your salads boring and have no taste? We've scraped the inner ear of mush. It's just like cheese. You want to do not want to put sugar in your coffee? Well, the cheers that Drew Paul from Mushy's face,

he looks at his calendar. We'll sweeten your coffee. You tell me, looks at how much he gets paid for YKWD and for Catherine Kelly, the tears roll out of his eyes. Do you not like eating butter? And that's okay, because when we scrape, mush his teeth. Hey, you like Feta Chini Alfredo?

Well, yeah, but the cheese is too high in cholesterol. But we scrape this fucking tubby's foot and we put it in the bottle. It's called mousse cheese. I'm locked up free. Hey, you ever want to catch a coyote? We took the sweat off of a mush. The spray jar, the Kio does will come a run. Well,

all right. Oh, fuck. Anyways, what was I saying, dude? Did you miss me? Oh, yeah. The only one I have to talk to, you know, with my, you know, when good things and bad things are going on, just no one else that is connected to the world like you. What do you mean? You know like I can't

call anybody just anybody. I'm not gonna talk to Norton pretty good and common. You know like hey, oh I want to fucking push my wife off a cliff. I can't just say that to a normal person. So still thinking, you know, I'm kidding. No, no one's gonna find one. It's just, in the middle of it, I gotta go. I gotta go, I'll call you later. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I think my mother, you know, she really, you know,

she was abused. Okay, but hey, Bobby, I gotta, I gotta, I forgot to have a thing. I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. I'll talk to you. I'll see you tonight. I'm not coming in tonight, I told you I'm in the hospital. I was like, good luck, I'll talk to you later, mate. And then you'd be like, dude, you fucking hung up at me, I was in the hospital.

Yeah, I know, I had this thing with my manager, we were trying to work out, they were trying to fuck me in first class. What? Yeah, they didn't bring my pillow to the hotel. con volotea. La región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, rencones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan. ¡Friparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. ¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver?

¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver? ¿Dónde se puede ver? he flew to Florida to get it. They got it. Mr. Rolex, Mr. Rolex over at Mayors in Tampa got him his watch fast. You know, it's like I told you, I got a call when I was, this is the story of my life.

You know, over a year ago, I left my name in a jewelry store, the one at Mohican Sun there, you know, I left my name there two years ago. So then I might have did it. They might have called you first then, I don't know. So I get a call, hey, we got your Skydweller. You know, and I go, and I was leaving to go out of town. I go, can I buy it right now over the phone, you know, with my credit card. No, you got to come in. I go, can I buy it right now over the phone, you know, with my credit card. No, you got to come in.

I go, can I send somebody? No. And I had to be there by the next day, and I was leaving. And then it hit me. You know, it's 15,000. I could easily sell it for 25. Yeah. So I would have made 10,000 if I wanted to.

Yeah. And I could have just canceled the first if I wanted to. Yeah. And I couldn't just cancel the first night in where I was going. And those 10 people that showed up probably wouldn't have been upset, okay? And that's the fucking dumb mistake I made by not jumping on top. Maybe whatever it is, you know, it's not my will.

Maybe I'm not supposed to have it. Maybe it's just pure greed. Maybe you're not supposed to have two Skydwellers. Maybe you're not boss. Maybe you're right. I think I actually think and I might be wrong, and I'm not always right. I think you're not supposed to have one.

I think I was supposed to have that one. But if that's just your delusional, you know, you're supposed to have a brown hat, but with that attitude. No, I'm very happy with my Skydwell. Yeah, the watch game is a hard thing. People don't understand. Oh, yeah, nice buying these watches. It's kind of like a gamble. It's kind of like the stock market or cryptocurrency or real estate. It's not something that you need. It's not something that you really even want. But if they call you up and they say, hey, we have this watch that is worth $30,000. You can have it for 15.5.

That's a double your money opportunity that you can make. Why would you not do that? That's putting, even if you don't sell it, the watch market never goes anywhere. That watch is always gonna be something. So in 20 years, when you're fucking dead, 20, 15 years when you're dead, I'm already dead inside, but go ahead. Your daughter is gonna be like,

I have these watches gonna be worth $60,000, maybe. And that's, that's, you know, that's meant that you do. So people don't understand the, and it's one that you get to bothers me that you don't wear your skydweller. I do. I wear it to special occasions. I wore it when I work at Mogigan Sun.

I wore it to the casino. I wear it to places like if I'm working in a hotel like that and the club is there. I don't want to wear what I have to walk around the streets with it. You know what I mean? It's too it's too nice and valuable. So I wear special occasions. I wore it to the Patrice benefit. I wore it. You know, I wear it when I'm working you know in a Lanx city. I was just in a Lanx city. I got it. I got it. You don't I wear it when I'm working, you know, in Atlantic City, I was just in Atlantic City. I got it, I got it, you don't have to keep naming things. I get it.

You've named, you said I wear it to special occasions. You've named Mohigan Sun in Atlantic City as special. No, no, I mean, no, they're gigs that I don't have to leave the place and drive through, you know, the middle of Detroit with my handout to when they'll look what I have. Right. You know, it's bad enough I wear all these fucking diamond rings, you know, and whatever.

It's just... Right. I was at the jewelry store the other day because I took my daughter to get a wedding ring. And I'm looking at these diamond bracelets. So there was a diamond bracelet and it said $38,000. So that I go, so I go to him, I go, I'll trade this Rolex for that. I go, what would you sell that bracelet for? I go, what, 14, 15 15 it goes probably around 15,000 So I'm thinking well, this isn't worth 15 and Sunny said to me he goes, okay, here's I'll trade you the bracelet for the watch and when you bring The box and the papers in yeah, we're in extra 500 so right then I knew

in the next 500. So right then I knew that I was getting fucked. He really wanted this watch that it was well worth more than that bracelet. Yeah, let's see said hey I'll give you another 500. So I said nah, and I didn't need it anyhow. It was a beautiful diamond bracelet, but it was just a fucking addictive fucking quick fix behavior. I took my joy there to get a ring. She got her ring. I got her decent deal. And I go, why would I get this? What's it gonna do?

I got it, I got it done. I decided when I was away, because it's hard for me not to buy. I can, you know, I really wanted to get the, in the next watch I want, I'm not gonna tell you, because you'll get it, and, the next watch I want, I'm not gonna tell you because you'll get it and I'll fucking hate you. So I'm not gonna tell you what it is.

But there's a watch I want, another watch. Oh, I think you told me, I wrote it down. Yeah. No. No. So there's another watch I want to add to my, I love watches, but I decided not to buy it. So I bought Dawn shit and I decided not to buy it. So I I bought don't shit and I bought max stuff

Yeah, I actually bought max is first nice watch. It's I think it's a it's only 200 bucks. It was like 200 something bucks. It's called it's a It's a Paris made in Paris as a watch company chase Something chase watches they make their own watches, their retro looking watches. And I bought them one. I bought them as first nice watch, a couple hundred bucks.

And then I went and bucked on two pocketbooks from a in Rome at this leather design, a pocketbook designer, smoke in pocketbooks. I mean, just redig it. And then when I went to Paris, she didn't know it, but I bought her a Louis Vuitton. I went to the Louis Vuitton. I had to wait in line like an asshole for a couple of minutes.

And then I went in and I bought her this fucking crazy pocketbook. I mean, a lot of money to do it for this pocketbook. I know. I bought my wife. She barely uses it. She's not a big fan of Louis that I spent $1500 I think on the box book. Yeah, that was, but I brought on the ship back. I bought a whole brand new suitcase for gifts for them. Yeah, but I did get myself, I got myself a Paris watch called lip. You ever hear a lip? That's what my, yeah. Yeah, bring that, no.

I did, I got a new watch. It's called lip. It feels good to buy your kid. I just bought my kid the other day, a new putter. You know, it feels good when you buy your kid stuff. They won't use, I bought Donna's Sony Playstation. And I just got Bonnie a new power saw. Yeah, so I just you feel go when you give somebody a gift Yeah, I got I got I got

I'm gonna get done a new truck Yeah, I'm gonna get done a new truck and a fucking hand job from the Chinese place down the street I'm Bonnie's birthday a new truck and a fucking hand job from the Chinese place down the street I On Bonnie's birthday one year was her birthday What myself a new car and I go pulling up Really a fucking garbage I put a new BMW on her birthday. Yeah, I was close dude. I was at it There's nothing like being in an airport. Like Amsterdam Airport is so big and huge.

They had Rolex, Omega. They had Rolex there? No, this is what sucks. They had them, but you can't buy any of them. They're all just like, oh, no. They fucking suck. I know there's two people there. I go, why are you here?

Why are they you here? Why are there two of you? Yeah. If you can't buy anything, why are you here? They're like, well, we're here to sell. What, you're not selling anything? Why do you exist? Haven't behind the case.

Let me look at something I can't get. You know what I mean? I just did that in the red light district. What, what are I gonna do it here too? What's the name? Fucking dead. They do that in all the Rolex places. There's one by my house.

Yeah, that's good for just here. Hey, you know, it's just like, you know, it's just like a neat, it's ridiculous. It's so dumb. Don't put them out there. Oh, yeah, this is the one I want. Well, tough shit, you know. Yeah. Go fuck yourself, you not getting it. Oh, yeah, this is the one I want well tough shit, you know, yeah Go fuck yourself. You're not getting it. Yeah, I know

Anyways, I was it was weird to be away from my family for that long You know not only your family your comfort zone your city. You're in your comfort zone at home No, no dude. I'm in my comfort zone on the road. Really? Yeah, look, I like my house. I really love it. I would say yes and no. But being on the road, traveling the way we were traveling

is my comfort zone. You know what I mean? Having a tour manager as good as Leah, who's Louise, you know, manager agent, tour manager, all that shit. And just being able, you go in, the fucking cars waiting for you, you go to the room keys waiting, the room is exactly the type of room you get in,

then we're going to dinner here, we got the show, you got a day off, everything, hey, we did tours, she set up tours. I mean, it was fucking flawless. That's my comfort zone. I love being on the road and being treated right and doing shows and seeing shit that I've never seen. I love that shit. Who won an audience? Hahaha. Hahaha. That was the, yeah, that was actually nice. Not having to, it was not having the show on your shoulders, bro.

Yeah. Was fucking nice, you know, it wasn't, it's like, you know, I didn't worry about the gig at all. I mean, they were all sold out too. Yeah. It's, uh, it's funny how middle acts put their tour dates online and put their not your tour dates. You know, it's actually yours. Uh-huh. They have your dates. I don't get it. Like your show, it's your show. Yeah, it's your, you have a date with your tour dates.

Like, you know, the middle acts. And you, yeah, it used to bug me, but now I get it because everybody has to be fit. Everybody right now has to pretend like there's somebody. Because the people on TikTok, the people on Instagram, they don't know that you're not anybody. I've had people send me DMs and it's like this holy shit. Who is this person? Like who is this? The thing is crazy. They have all these videos. Everything is, and then you look and they got

1100 people following them. It's like, oh, you're fucking, you're pretending to be famous It's like, oh, you're fucking, you're, you're pretending to be famous and you look famous and all your shit is like famous. So you're just, you know, you can, you have to kind of play that game now. You know, you can't, if it's available, what are you going to do with us? Here's my, this is what I thought in my head. What are they going to do? Say no. I have a, I have all the social What is who gonna do say no? What is it like these middle acts gonna do or these MCs gonna do?

Just not post the dates that they're doing like it, you know, are they supposed to put hey these? I am not headlining these dates. I am middling these dates. These are the other people's headlining shows But I'm part of them. I'm just you know, they got to just put it up as their show. I get, yes, it goes both ways. I get that. They got to put it up, but there's got to be a way, you know, it's, it, here's the way. We've fade off.

We fade off. We retire and let them have. Well, no, like I, I no, like I've said before, I'm kind of at the finish line. So everything's a bonus now. You know what I mean? And look, I would not stage the other night and just fucking crushed. We're gonna do better hands down than newer. But I get they gotta have new faces and younger faces to audiences, like the audiences in New York.

I'd rather be on the road than be in the city. There's nothing like doing a show in front of your fans. Yes. So the trick, I think, for me is to try to only do shows in front of... You know, I just had an offer to do five shows at this place that I really don't go to. And I was like, I don't want to do it. Yeah. Yeah, okay. The money was good.

But I was like, look, if I'm going to do this, like, it's, it's, it's a lot of seats. It's 500 seats to show. They want me to do, and the bonus is come in at like 350 or something. It's like, listen, man, I'll just come to that city and do a 400 seat room once, do a door deal. I'll make way more, you don't understand. The math doesn't add up anymore. You guys had us for a long time coming in, working for a set price, and then you could just sell all this booze and food. What? Hold on. What? I'm doing Bobby's podcast. This is big one. This is this is thousand thousands episode. Yeah he asked if you would come on but I said you're

not home. This is you know come in and say hi. It's his 1000 high-cats Are you lying? Yeah, God she's That's what I got on the hotline. What's your shirt say? It's a champagne Well, what the fuck happened to her head? Yeah, you can come back on now. Let your hair out You show me your breath. No, I don't want to see your breath. It's wrong with you. Oh, look how sick doesn't she look pretty Bonnie's very pretty she look I Mean side, but she looks oh Bonnie's very and you know what Bonnie you you're working out of something, right? You're getting guns you get your guns back

You get guns you get your guns back. I hope you swallow one. Why is it so? Did you guys trade glasses? I mean, it is weird. I don't know why. I don't mind the pink, but the flowery pattern on the side bothers me. I know and there are like dollar glasses. He won't spend.

What's my go? Hi. Wait, come here. Don't listen. I don't see what's this thing. Wait, that champagne. I don't get it. I mean, there's nothing to get.

I know you don't, because you've never celebrated anything. Yeah, it's probably. Wait, no, that's not celebrated anything. Yes, Bob, yes. Wait, no, that's not a celebration shirt, is it? Okay, bye. What? Bob, you're so confusing. Why? You stole man, any year old man. Woo-hoo!

Bonnie really didn't do the math when she married you. She did it Canadian and metric. Yeah, she didn't put that kid to go. Man, maybe you're old man. She's talking through the vent. I mean, people like, with audiences watching, it's because of their nostalgia. Yeah, he's like seeing like the cysteine chapel.

Yeah, something from the olden days. This is an 80 year old comic on stage, guys. This is how people used to dress in the 80s. Do you guys remember radio and phones in the kitchen? Well, you'll get this next guy. I tell us about the facts machine again, Mr. Vost. Oh, look at that. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

You mean computers couldn't be picked up and taken into other places? No. I had a word processor, remember that. I do. I remember I moved to New York City and Matt Frost. You know, you know the story behind me moving to New York City? No. I was in Boston. It was a dain left, Barry Katz, Billy left and got literally a go series on NBC with Carcy Warner. Then, Billy Wally Ringwall.

Correct. I mean, move to New York, got a manager, and then fucking bang was in LA, I think six months in on a go series with Carcy Warner who was the biggest, and then Patrice left. Patrice moved in with Keith. I was back waiting tables in Boston

But I took to I took like a year or two year a year and a half or two years off of standup I did a movie called the Kuala Barik kid then I did another movie called last night at at ease and then these are all in the internet Ladybugs know this and then I did a play called Four Dogs in a Bone. The guy who wrote Moonstruck was a playwright and he did this play. So I was doing acting for, I had this big reel, acting reel, and I sent it to Matt Frost. I went there, did comedy one night with all those guys.

Like, it was okay. I had an alright set. I wasn't that good. I took like two years off whatever I went there did that and he goes hey, can I you have a real and I sent him a real of me doing stand-up Which was garbage and then my acting real was attached to it He called me up waiting tables. I saw you're acting. I love you're acting if you move to New York. I would love to represent you And a month later. I lived in New York, I would love to represent you. And a month later, I lived in New York City.

I call Billy, Billy, you're not in your place, you're paying rent for nothing. Let me move in. I'll pay most of it. You pay a hundred bucks. I'll pay three 25. And when you come back, I'll hit the couch. And he was like, fucking cool. All right. I moved in a month later. Matt Frost took me in the office, hiding me from Barry and Maureen and Vincent because he was just a booker. He did colleges, but he wanted to be a manager, he wanted to be like that. And he snuck me on auditions. He would get auditions sent in and put me on them.

I booked three out of three auditions, one for a movie called Dating Games that I booked that was actually fucking great. One for a guest VJ, not a guest of VJ for Burleigh Bear Network, which was a Lauren Michaels thing for college, MTV for just colleges. And then I booked a, another movie, I forget what it was. And, uh, and, uh, and then that I kind of me and P. Correlli were Matt's little prototypes to get him into the business. Yeah. And he, he hooked me up. He, yeah, I used to go to the Boston comedy club like every night and never get on. And he told Musavia, don't take it easy on him. When you put him on, let him fucking put him on after.

Like he put me on after Shepal, more brewer, tell everybody. You know, you were, I mean, you didn't like each other. No, but I worked at Boston. You worked at Boston, but you were kind of a dick. Thank you. You were a dick. You were a dick. Everybody else was really nice,

but you were a fucking mean person. You still ought to have new people. No, I'm funny. I'm not mean. And I'm feet down. I always helped a new comic. On the road, I give them guest spots. I tip them.

I do well. but I test them Just fucking around. You gotta stand like I'm a headliner from Boston Right, I was headlining a Boston. I go to New York. I become the new guy. I get it and Then I meet you every nice and I meet you and you're like just a fucking cunt and you're like just a fucking cunt. I was not content. First time I met you, you were like, hey, what's up, where you from? I was like Boston.

Yeah, how long have you been doing comedy? I was like, I don't know, five years. You went, yeah, you threw a dollar at me. Go give me a cup of coffee, it's sugar. I didn't have to ship out, I do it to everybody. But I didn't know that. I was just like, you know, I'm like, go fuck yourself.

I was like, what the fuck in pieces of shit? And maybe people know this, but we were kind of fought back and forth because we have the same temper. We were at the comedy cell of one night and you said something to me. And then I took your cigarettes. This one you were smoking. Yeah. And I threw them back in my mouth. It's when you smoke. And I threw them my pack is singers. Back Marbrose. So when you smoke and I threw them on I took them I threw them across the room to kind of just get you back for whatever you had said to me. And you flipped the fucking table. No, I flipped the hot wings. I had to play the wings with sauce and it had fucking blue cheese dressing and you flipped it and it went all over me We were both standing up like fucking right in each other like ready to fight

But I you I'm not how could like I wasn't scared of you You must have been like really thin back then, you know, just like a little fucking bossing guy and you know, just like a little fucking bossing guy, young, because I wasn't, I was like, yeah, throw down. But I remember you pulled up in a car and got out and threw a piece of cardboard at me or something. I think I did, yeah. And from this seller, you were following. I didn't like you at all.

I thought you were a fucking cocksucker. Yeah, I really didn't like you. But it was like, I remember we were about to fucking throw down and then what happened? Some happened. We realized we're old. And so you're just like, this is gonna be dumb. I think we realized this is gonna be stupid. Me and you fucking some type of headlock's gonna happen.

This is gonna be us everywhere. From that one, that one is, we became friends after that. That's what you and you were cool with each other. It took that fuck you moment to actually become cool. What's your question? When is I don't want to give it away, but once that video going to be ready. Oh, yeah, guys.

Well, we have a little mush. Are you there? Nicole, are you there? Yeah, I'll pull it up. All right, well, the thing is, hang on, give me a sec. Me and Voss made, we went to Niagara Falls a while ago, and we had a little video, the first part of us doing radio. The second part was us, we went to Niagara Falls and we got married.

Joe Russell, who was supposed to edit this video, like most people who edit videos for me, you never hear from him again. So I finally, what? He never did it. He's just fucking got whipped up with his cheese show. I don't know what it is, but he finally, finally did it. He got the second, there's three parts. This is the second part.

And we have that for you exclusive today, for Patreon people, right now, we're gonna show you a little clip and it's going up on Patreon Right now during the show will be up there for you guys to see it went up this morning It went up this morning up there now, so show a little clip For exclusive content and much much more, go now to patreon.com slash robberdkelly. It's up on my Patreon. I'll have more send it to you. It's gonna be up for everybody on the YouTube next week.

It's a funny dude. Dude, listen, all I know is that I'm 50, you're 60 something. I'm 50 something and we're silly. We're just silly old men. Yeah, but what's my laugh? Because I wasn't ready for it. So I couldn't stop laughing. Did they make it look real?

Did you say you weren't ready to marry me? No, no, I didn't know you were gonna choose. All of a sudden, you're being walked down the aisle. And my ad libbing skills were really cool. Yeah, we know you're at, but it's fine that you. Your ad libbing skills comedian. That's it. My ad living skills are fucking amazing. Loss, you have to.

Let's add lib right now. It's on tons of fucking reality shows. Okay, let's add lib right now. What do you want to add with? I'll give you a little improv to do right now. Ready? I didn't say improv. I said, I have a lib.

I'm going to add lib. I'm going to add lib. I'm going to add lib. I'm going to add lib. I'm going to add lib. I'm going to add lib. I'm done tons of fucking reality shows. Okay, let's add the bread now. What do you want to add with? I'll give you a little improv to do right now. Ready? I didn't say improv. I said, that living, but go ahead. Improv is ad libbing is the same thing. Oh, okay, get person placed in a situation. I can't go serious with these stupid. I do freeze tags with myself Are you serious with these stupid? I do freeze tags with myself.

Freeze. I'm in. Tom fucking improv. Shut up. You're fucking improv is a sketch that you've been doing for fucking two years and trying to improve. You are.

You're in that. Go ahead. What's the improv? Are you ready? Yeah. All right. I'm going to give you, I want to give you, you have, we're going to get it from the fans.

We need a job to do, and we need a place to do it in. OK? Two different things. give us some stuff. Adlimbing, adlimbing right now, send a situation, job in a place right now. Ready, here we go, you ready? Adlimbing isn't rocket science, no. I mean rocket science is really hard.

Adlimbing isn't even substitute T-shirt, okay. Rocket scientists, Mississippi, go. All right, a rocket scientist in Mississippi. Yeah. I'm getting fucked. Come on, ow. What? A rocket scientist in Mississippi didn't fuck out.

No, it's not, it's a rocket scientist in Mississippi. Yeah, I'm gonna do that person, do it. Create that music. He's, he's working at work I think I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it

I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it

I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it I'm pretty sure that you have a hair turtle fart. You have a hair turtle fart? I'm talking to you, sir. I'm... He left!

He left. Well, there you go. All right. Stick around. It's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing now. I'm going to be a little bit more honest. Well, there you go. Alright. Stick around, it's not over yet. This episode of YKWD is continuing now exclusively on patreon.com slash rubber kelly.

See you there. and you give love a bad name. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.

Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.

Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam Joel's from overseas. Thanks for being a member. We got Zachary Weez. We got Kevin Ram. Mama. Mama's. We got Jordan. One name. Bang. You're in Zachary more. You are the mother fucker. Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing,

Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing,, Bing, more, more Zachary Emily, and then we get Andrew R. We love you. Jeffrey Jarrett Bing Bang, Lucas Stein, Muzzle Tuff, Mara Farsen, Lovia, JP Guy Times. That's the JP

people, the new, the new small business. Welcome to the show and welcome to the tier. Mike Lopez, make sure you check out their small business. Check out their podcast network. I love networks popping up, new podcasts. Everybody's trying to make it. It's not just the big people, it's the little people. Let's support everybody. Steven, Paul, Aras, Angelina.

What does it say? I can't even zoom in on this. Alejandro Ramirez, Alejandro, Alej, Al, Al, Al, Al, Alejandro. What does it say for me? Alejandro. Alejandro. Alejandro. Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. How's that song go? Alejandro Alejandro. I we got Ryan Simon Zidjigabon Bloom. We got Mopi Dick. There's always ones that gets me. Sandra Flippelli, which is Canadian money, which I don't even know if that's,

was that word shit anymore? We were getting paid in there. This is out. And then we got Gatorade. We got a Gator fight. We got a Gatorade. All right, listen, you guys, welcome to the Patreon. Thanks for becoming a member.

Really appreciate makes everything fucking flow patreon.com. So, Robert Kelly, if you're not a member, just go join, man. Become a member. We put all. If you're not a member, just go join man. Become a member. We put all kinds of we got a call through and Kelly goes up there. We got why can you get everything before everybody? We put it we do it live and then it goes up there and we put everything up there first and We have more stuff coming down the pipe just for you guys I got a piece so bad I'm gonna be so bad. It's coming up my p hole and on the edge of my dink.

I'm going to sing to make it go away. Anyways, can we show a little bit before we leave some of the torture museum that I sent you mush? Oh, yes, I'm right here. Oh, thanks Is it the pink one or the other one? Ah show we got two of them show show the one with the triangle Okay, no, that's the studio that's the exit. Oh my god mush. Did I send it? Yeah? I wanted to get there for Norton. Don't you think he would love that? I think so. Wow. That should be his apron.

All right. Got it. What's the other one? Oh, we also got this to us. Yo, you got, you want to help me, breakfast? You sick oatmeal? We took a fat mush, put them on a barbecue and scraped the stuff right out of his butthole, put it in the bowl. And now, this is from Lewin Jackson, which part of you do you think the apple Cinnamon comes from? The Apple Cinnamon definitely comes from behind your knee.

Whatever shit is behind your knee after walking in the city for a day. Is that the only one you got? I have the three videos from you. All right, so play one of them has the thing or might be a photo. This wild, the flute of shame, for bad music, for me. That sucks. the So it's this big piece of wood. I didn't send it to you, huh? That's On me you saw Bob Wow, that sucks

Look at that so they sit you on it then they put weight on your feet and it slowly rips you apart Oh, I mean that would feel good for a couple minutes. If you had some noise, it would be a couple of words. You're like, oh, that feels so good. Do you ever just fucking stick your fingers and you putt in the middle of the night and just scratch the roads? Mom, you're a butt off feeling on earth. I mean, it's close to having orgasm.

Just dude dude dude, dude. All right, make sure you go to comicrables.com and get some YKWD merch. Boom, look at that. Everyone comes with a sticker. You get a YKWD sticker. You get all kinds of hoodies, all kinds of stuff like that. Go there and use code word, ladybug, and you get 20% off.

I saw that and fiam only fans. Fiam's only fans. That's funny. Oh my god. Oh my god. Thank god for her bum. You know what I mean? Yeah, it just gets you through the day. Yeah, that butt really helps you. Fee hands butt. You know what I mean? It's definitely not a tits. I've been a tits in fian. She should do the bottom half. I'll do the top half.

We'll make a lot of money together. Anyways, all right. So check out Mike V. Suarezarez and Nicole. Thank you so much for For doing how'd she do most you do good or what I think she do amazing Yeah, she we we might be doing a couple of these From the house because I'm gonna be able to get to the studio so next week We might be doing this from here and who knows I might jump on before then, but we got the JLP of course for patreon members only We get to go on Saturday

nights, we open up the Zoom, you guys come in, they hang out, just come in, hang out, have some blast, I'm gonna be popping in Saturday night, Saturday night. All right, did I been waking up at like, 3 o'clock in the morning just, I'm up. I'm up. How do I get over this shit? Mush. Oh, that was a jet lag? Yes. I stay up all night and then that's what I did. Yeah, because you worry about fucking everything. Yeah.

I'm going to die. I'm not forward. Everything on me tastes like something. Oh. The front of your kneecap has a different taste in the back of your kneecap. The back of your kneecap sweet, the front of your kneecap has a different taste in the back of your kneecap. The back of your kneecap sweet, the front is salty. Yeah.

On the knees, your fingernails, they use to fucking season steaks. Come on. I don't know how you guys manage to make it grosser every single time, but it's truly disgusting. Yeah. If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you

If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you

If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If you If If you If you If you If If you If If you If you If If I'm gonna sell most juice and the mush spice

So I'm gonna make a lot of money. I'm gonna puke you got them right you're gonna puke Guys thanks so much. I'm glad to be back at the YKWD helm Hope you guys enjoyed the show rich boss of course go to rich boss calm The legend of comedy go check him out and make sure you tweet this retweet it tell all your friends about it Get the podcast out there and look. I'm not gonna bag, but fucking you know if you want to do it If you don't go fuck yourself don't do it And that's it and patreon.com slash Robert Kelly You guys the best we'll see you guys next week. You know what?

See you Listening to YKWD podcast See ya! you