Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rich Vos | Wrong Exit

Episode Date: May 1, 2022

Bobby and Rich are on the road with a drive and talk YKWD! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos liga.

Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Solicitate veca en fundación la caixa.org He's back again. Old school, back in the day, We're all starting before them all. I'm being right, why can't I use this? This podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up, you all are winning this. Brick of War, damn it, man. I'm so sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR.

That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original. The original. You put it upside down you're the dumbest person I know you're dumb it's All right, what's up everybody Oh, I don't know what's up with those. Are we getting into the block? As we just get smashed.

What's up everybody? This is Robert Kelly. You know what dude? And we're live. I don't see none of the cameras. What? I don't see none of the cameras. Hey.

They're filming. You see them blinking? Yeah, what? I don't see me. You have a don't worry about it. You don't have to. Oh, this one has a little rattle. I love these when they, when the peanut have a don't worry about it. This one has a little rattle. I love these one.

The peanut butter rattle is inside of it. It's like your brain. All right. Can we have a fucking conversation? Yes, we can, but here you're thinking. Wipping it out, you know? I wish I was big enough to whip out. I pull it out.

But here's the thing. And don't get me wrong. I don't mind. So don't take the sore wrong way. But I was not asked to do a podcast. You guys all of a sudden I'm doing a podcast. I told you not to be filming on the way out. You didn't say a podcast.

You said filming. I did say that. No, you never said the word podcast. I said yes I did. Nope. I'm a hostage. Listen, you're not a hostage. You know, I'll fucking put you up here

I'll do what him you say in the back. Do you really want to waste an hour of your life? I'll do it if you're gonna complain. I'm not complaining. I see you. I don't get you complaining I'm not out of the I've said I'm just making you a wham. No, there's no listen. We're filming on the way up We're gonna do a podcast. We're gonna film a bunch of stuff, we're gonna do a vlog. A vlog. Yeah, you know what a vlog is? A video vlog. There you go, man.

You got like something in your ear, like a... Eh. Eh. What is that, man? Oh, that stuff. I'm getting it. Eh. I'm dropping by going to...

What the fuck? Let me see. Yeah, Jesus Christ. It wasn't ear waxed, dude. It wasn't ear waxed. It was another thing growing out of your ear. It was fucking cauliflower. Where?

You really think I have cauliflower or anything? Cauliflower ear, you never heard of it. And wrestlers getting it. It was a fat joke to myself. Oh, I don't do this. I do this. No, because I don't do those to you. Yeah, you do.

I haven't done one in a long time. Last week. No, no. You did it last week. No, the only thing I said, because the only thing I said that was negative, Bobby went for an upper endoscopy where they put the camera in your stomach. And all I said was they found two licensed plates and a bicycle.

I see only the guys but no, I don't do that anymore because you told me to upset you. It doesn't it doesn't upset me. It does. It does. They make me laugh. I does not upset me. It does. One people make I'm fine. No, that's it. That's the wrong. It's that stupid Brennan says that too. He gets mad when you make fun. I don't find with it. I'm fine with it. It doesn't, as long as it's funny, I'm good. Oh yeah, funny, funny.

Funny, funny. You just dropped that up, so as long as you make me laugh, you're still stuck. I hate that this cock suckered Joe, we said find us an exit with stuff. And he takes us to Dandy Cafe gas station. Yeah. And the next exit literally everything everything. There's not only Dunkin' Donuts, there's a topless Dunkin' Donuts. I mean there's fucking everything. Look at that. There's fire, forge, fun, everything. That's

extra 54. Yeah, but this fucking Jack Russell wanted to get off at X-855. First, he took us to a flood zone. Yeah. Well, the bridge was out. Yeah, because yeah, he wanted us, he wanted to go back into woods and go to the bathroom, but he thought we would join him. Like, no, that was weird.

I'm not a good navigator. He took us to a dead end where the bridge was out. You guys want to pee here? Yeah, like who says, like a group? We're having a group, Pete. He took us to a dead end where the bridge was out. You guys want to pee here? Yeah, like who says, like a group? We're having a group pee? Yeah, Zake. You guys want to do some mail trade? You know what, it's fucking gross, Joe.

Exit everything. Everything about how long you think my rap for real with hummus, there's hummus in it, and the rest is vegetables? How long will that last? Can I ask you a question? Do you think it's gonna go bad? How long do you think hummus goes bad?

It's, it'll be fine, it's fine. You think so? Yes, you'll be able to eat it when you get this cold and you're absolutely. I can ask you a question seriously though. Me or, or yeah, go ahead. I'm here. What is your deal with food, bro?

I don't like being stranded in like, like if we're in a hotel like now, and we don't have a car, and there's no room service, and then it's like 10 o'clock a night, you're fucking hungry, you're fucked. So a lot of times, I like to have a sandwich in the refrigerator or something,

just in case of emergency. But you always bring my, I was gonna buy the cup, bring my, you know, the cup of soups, the big ones, the Japanese ones, and you know, because I bought my collapsible boiling pot that you told me about it. I my second, my first one broke, I don't know why, but only 20-something bucks with 30-something. So I bought another one. And you have your coffee maker that I got my compressor and I have some packs of Starbucks coffee. I'll just rip open the filters.

a Starbucks coffee. I'll just rip open the filters. So anyhow, I don't like being somewhere and being at the mercy of hunger. That's it. But you take food with you. Like you've done weird stuff. We were at a buffet in Vegas. It wasn't a buffet. It wasn't. You told us about those outbacked hoppajons, red lobster. Look at it. Look at it. There's people yelling our names to come here.

Look at all this stuff over here, Joe. Dicks, we could have went to Dicks. This is Toyota Place, a sleep center, everything. Look at TJ and Flanagan's. Another Dandies. Yeah. There's a Dandy right there. Oh, fucking job.

And now I put my... Oh my God, look at all this shit. I put my shit in big dollars. I'm not much of a Nanny here. I'm a fap of these. Penera, I love Penera salads. I like Penera. The tuna, I went into a Penera,

and I got a tuna salad, and it was like they spread it like butter. I go, where the fuck is the tuna? So the next time I went back, I go, listen, last time you gave me no tuna. Hook up the brother with some tuna. See, that's this thing going back to you with food. Well, I was there, but you have a thing with food.

Yes, I do. You feel like there's never enough you're gonna run out When we were in the buffet in Vegas at the real you made it you made an extra sandwich. No, no I took a big Crab leg. Oh the buffet downstairs. I made a sandwich. Yeah, take my you wrapped it in a napkin a Couple-cloth napkins. Yeah, you stuffed it in a napkin, a clop of napkins, a couple clop napkins, and you stuffed it in your pocket. I didn't stuff I slipped it in, and I took it to my rope, and you put it in a refrigerator. Okay, yeah.

And guess what, that night when I was hungry, and there was nowhere open to eat, guess what I had, a fucking sandwich. Is this stuff from being on the road? Like, is this years of being on the road? Yes, correct. Not having enough money. Oh, no.

Like, this seems like road-hatch shit. No, it's not a road-hatch. Not hack, but like road-dog shit. Like, you know, you sneak sandwiches, you save. Like, to me, like. No, body says I'm like trash. Yeah, it says. Can I just say what I want to say?

I mean, you can talk. Oh, I'm sorry I just want to we are I am I don't mean it's a wrap. I just want to get this thought out is that okay? Yeah, go ahead It seems white trash to me because racist It seems to me I have that you have like that poor thing in you well I do. Yes, I came from a poor. And you always, you're like out of the fucking,

the thirties. Well, you know, and it's like you, you covet food, like even on the cruise to kids door, one of the nights, you took a whole chicken home and I didn't even eat yet. And I came off stage and show us two. I came off stage and go, where's the chicken? No, no, no. And you go, it's in my bag.

You know, there was two. And you went and you got it out of your bag. No, no, no, no, no, no. You took it out of your bag. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I ain't you took the chicken out of your bag. And I was like, boss, wait until we all eat before you take the food.

First of all, I thought we all ate. Second of all, let me explain something to you. But you don't, can I just say something real good? I'm not letting you talk. I've been talking a lot, I know. But you don't take the food before the show's over. The show was over. The show's over.

When everybody's leaving, everybody knows take whatever you want off that craft services. It's like a jack I'm on stage you have a turt you have a chicken a whole chicken in your bag I took salmon and liver and you yeah Like I came on stage There was no food There was tons of food and before I get in Tell it, tell it, tell it, there was tons of food. And before I get in,

because you're like Bonnie, exaggerating, tell the truth. Did we always leave too much leftover food that I told you? Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, went to my house. I don't mind, but I'm just saying, no, you don't mind. I do.

I want that to at least go to homeless people, you never, I've never, ever in my life. Have I ever, I know, you know, for 20 years, ever I know you know for 20 years stop touching the microphone I was stop touching the microphone Please stop touching it. Okay, sorry see a little person you like I've never seen you talk to a homeless person I don't I see without the window Scramble you take food home. No, and you eat it or you throw it out. I don't, I never throw out food.

I mean, I don't want it. I want to get it. I just want to know what it is, man. Here's the thing. Let me explain. Be honest to me. First of all, I'm, you know I'm so far from cheap. I know.

I'm a dinner for everybody. I'll spend money. If you will buy it, you'll let them know too for the next day. No, I don't let, no, I don'll let them know too for the next no I don't know I don't let them know I take a picture of it, but you told me What after the watch fucking the the dream kill of 2022 You fucking you said I owed you 20 bucks Oh, yeah, yeah, from months ago. No, I was just joking. You a yeah, but you remembered it

Yeah, you hit me. You know what the other night the other night last night we did a show me Florentine and Joey Diaz and We got painting cash. Okay, And I was driving there. Right. And go, oh fuck, Florentine knows me 500 bucks. The what? Huh? From football. What do you have from football?

Okay. Yeah. So I said, if you have it, which I knew you did, because we got painted. Oh, if it doesn't hurt you, you can give me that. And he goes, oh fuck, I forgot all about it. And he gave me the 500. It hit me as I was driving there. I forgot about it. So I saw you during one of your fucking watch of 2022 rants. I go, oh fuck, he owes me 20 bucks. But I don't care about the money ever. I spend money like it's fucking nothing, but I also like

Free shit you do too. We all like free shit with your podcast. Yes, I understand I try that's not what I'm talking about I'm talking about your your your my food Yeah, man you you have this very I don't like food don't waste and you have this very... I don't like food going to waste. It's like the waste poverty. It's like, I don't like food going to, I've given food to almost people. I really have, I don't,

I hate when food goes to waste. I hate when I throw it out, I hate when companies throw out food. So many people are fucking starving. I don't like being on the road knowing that I might not, I might get real hungry. You know, sometimes I'll go to a club and I won't eat that crap to have it some clubs So I was at a club recently, okay, and I go can I have a veggie burger? Yeah, right?

Yeah, they deep fried it. I go you got to make me another it's the whole idea of a veggie burger It's fucking it's supposed to be healthy, you know? And they deep fried it. Deep fried it. So one, and there's some clubs that have good food, some that don't. But I don't want to go. I, we ate lunch today.

Yeah. I couldn't finish my lunch. And I didn't finish mine. And you, hang on. You had three perfectly good grape mine. You hang on. You had three perfectly good grape leaves. That are delicious. Okay. So you took my grape leaves? Well, yeah, you said good one.

And then you took my falafel ball. One falafel ball. Right. Yeah, because you were going to throw it out. And then you took the rest of my hummus. No, I didn't take any of your hummus. You said I had my own hummus sandwich. I didn't take any of your hummus.

You took my bread. I didn't take it. I took a bite of bread. So you took some of my bread? Just a bite. Okay, and then you had it all wrapped up. No, no, I had half of my wrap. I had half of my wrap, which was a hummus and veggie wrap.

I said, okay, but I did say that. I said, you had it all wrapped up. That's what I said. My wrap, yeah. And my falafel. You said, do you want to pull it? You can't offer something. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no any of the great leaves and I'm like throwing them out I don't want them. Then why fucking order them? That's like hey bring me that pie and then walk it over and put it in the garbage. Yeah I've done it. That makes no sense. Okay that's stupid.

But I wouldn't take if you go I'm gonna eat these I didn't even think about it but you didn't eat it. You know I want them. Maybe I'm wrong maybe I'm the wrong one. Maybe I should take food all more but here's the thing. Every time I do, I never want to be eaten it. And it goes to waste anyways. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I don't. I'd rather go look, I'm not going to eat these great leaves.

I'm not going to eat this last falafel. I'm done throwing it out. No, that's not what you did. You go, I'm not going to eat these. Do you want them? And I said, okay. Right. Because I like great leaves.

But I didn't even see great leaves on the menu. But I ordered a right. It's just like when I ordered two, I go, OK. Did I say, hey, I'm going to get fries. You want some? I'll get fries. And you say yes. So I got fries.

And what did I say? Take as many as you want. Dude, you're not, I'm not saying you're, I'm not saying you're not generous. I'm not saying you're, I'm not saying you're not generous. I'm not saying that, dude. I'm saying you act like you're from, you're out of the depression. No, you're depressing me. I'm a one. I'm a one. I don't, I brought this up. Nobody said the same thing. The other day I came home from the hotel, their coffee that comes in the Starbucks foil at Starbucks coffee, but they give you this,

it's a round filter, the big round one, but at Starbucks coffee. But, and it's enough to make a half a pot of coffee, but they only have coffee makers that only make a little one cup of coffee. So you gotta throw that bait thing in, waste all of that just to make one cup of coffee, right? You know what I'm saying?

But I'm gonna hold it out. Yeah, so in my brain, I'm like, yeah, I don't give a fuck. No, no, I know. But I ended up being a fuck. No, no, I know but I ended up being there a couple days collecting Oh my god, I got eight of them. Oh my god. I did what I took them home No, you didn't you took old coffee filter. No, they weren't all I never I never used them You you stole coffee filters

No, I didn't steal my ass for you asked for extra. Yeah, so you could take some home No, they weren't look at your you get to a day. Yeah, you asked for more you damn To and you took and you took a moment did what? Relax let me finish you sir. So I go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go to two places. You know, I go to Dunkin' Donuts, you get to four big bags, or 25, or I go to Trader Joe's, you can get $6 in big bags. I got pretty good coffee, right? So, now, like, these coffee packs, these Starbucks, and if, by any chance, we run out of coffee,

and we wake up, and I go, oh, fuck. I had your phone down here dumb dumb dumb All right in the middle so you can talk I go we run out of coffee I like to have just in case of emergency in case of emergency just Okay, all right just just in case I like a coffee emergency in case I wait I was like cuz dude But like the coffee emergency in 1987 was Epic people will go they were tired couldn't go to work There was no coffee none except for you. I bet you had those back to me with your skin

Touch me in the back of my neck. Oh Get out of it. Oh, yeah, little fingers. I feel so weird. So Oh, get out of here. Oh, your little fingers. I feel so weird. So, and you're spent times we all over the go, oh, fuck, there's no coffee. Ooh, oh my God, what do we do? We go to just in case of emergency, make a pot,

and then go out and buy four more big bags. Man, you are from the depression. I have in my, your white trash. In my car, I have just a emergency of emergency sardines Oh You can't leave sardines Yes you can No, and I can

You're a fucking car Yes you can Buddy I guarantee you Man, have you were using sardines They were in a war You're in a fucking Lexus Got around a Hillsboro You're a fucking idiot

Not in case Well, it's wrong with you. I have a big shut your mouth. I have a big bag. I have a big bag. I thought he was a microphone too. He could talk to you. He knows. Oh, I know. I know. We just been ignoring him. What's he gonna do? Let me ask you a question. Yeah, buddy. Of course. And I want you to be honest. Don't just... a question. Yeah, buddy. Of course. And I want you to be honest, don't just, once he says you have buddy, you know. That's going across the lake.

Wow, what was that? You see that? It was something big. So now it was, it's, it was up. You just seen the alligators and Florida on the course. I was just that. These fucking alligators were so, you sidetracked.

I don't want to get sidetracked. Joe, we'll talk about the alligators in a minute if you don't mind. I don't want Joe get sidetracked. Joe, we'll talk about the alligators in a minute if you don't mind. Joe, yeah, but... I mean, are you with me on this sardine thing? Would you keep sardines in your car? Just in case. I wouldn't eat sardines that are fresh. Okay.

J-J-J-J-I think you're bad at nuts. Would you keep a big bag of nuts in your there. Just in case what, by the way? Car breaks down. OK, I'll give you an example. During the big storm in September to flood. Yes, yes, the big floods. My friend was driving home, got stuck in the mountains for 15 hours in his car.

Oh, my God. There was no road he can't get on. He's 15 fucking hours. Now, it's not that long. Oh yeah. Okay. What time is it? So 6.30. Let's go to 9.30 tomorrow morning. You don't need. Okay. No. Don't say okay. I see a couple granola bars and the glove compartments. Yeah. Yeah. I would not mind a couple granola bars. What? Sardines having fish in your car is nuts to me. OK, so I do have nuts.

I do have nuts. OK, that's I don't mind. You're going with the scenario that it's OK to have food in your car in case of emergency. But now you're going what food do I like? People in the comments, please tell us, if Sardines in your car in case of emergency, is yay or nay.

I say nay. I say it's white trash. Okay, but peanuts are okay. So you're just saying you're type of food? No, I say no food in the car. No, because we're in America and any fucking one of you can get, we're in the mountains, driving to the mountains, say it's nighttime,

the car breaks down, it's a snow storm, we're stuck in this car, okay? We're not gonna start nibbling on each other's arms. Not after 15 hours, no, no, but you're not gonna start nibbling on each other's arms. Not after 15 hours. No, no, but you're not in the fucking Andes. I mean, no, dude, it's my house. I'll go knock it out and ask for it. It's a bread.

Yeah, and let me change it. You didn't act on my door. I fucking bring out my crossbow. Can those sardines help you change your flantire? Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm sorry wife. I had so does a lot of people. I know they don't do that. Yes. No, they don't go white trash. I'm not white Trash. Listen, I'm not white trash as he fixes his white traps go time and rings. The first thing I did when you I came to your house was you show me up your new watch. What's white

trash about a Rolex? It's not it's the way you act when you get one. You act. I was recreating. I was recreated. Yeah. What you did to me. I didn't do anything. I just wore mine to a podcast.

Just stick it in my face. I was sitting there with my arm and a tail. I didn't know you could see. You could see. Please. Please. I like this, buddy. You want to trade?

Will you trade? No. They're worth the same amount of money. They're worth the same amount of money. I know, but you can't trade a Rolex. Buddy, you can't. No, you can't. They track them.

No, buddy. You don't know. I do know. What? You can, so you can't give, if you're in a jam, you can't sell that I can but then my jewel will know no they won't sell it for the right amount if you're not gouging owes that debt here if you're not gouging somebody if you're

selling it for the right and hey I gave it to my friend for cause I did not I did not make a profit off of this you know what I mean I needed the money I I ran at the hard times. People can't tell you. Yeah, no, but he won't tell you again. No, they will. They will. They don't care as long as you keep it for a while. The whole watch game is the whole watch game is based off of used watches. No Rolex H to use watch. Listen, they hate what they're doing with it now. But people, listen, man, people sell one watch to get another watch. Yeah, I did that to my jeweler. I traded in two watches and they tore chips. That was at my jeweler. Right. But you could say, look

it, my friends going to buy this off of me. Yeah. Okay. Nowadays, nowadays, here's the true deal. Nowadays, the watches I bought, not my wife's watch, but even that watch. They have a list. I know. They're so waiting. I don't even like that watching anymore. I hope you I hope you die with it on your wrist. It's nice. Not I'm like when you're 80. Not now. No more driving. Not now. Can you know where you're new one? The Hulk? Yeah. Because I like this one better. I bought that one. I don't like it. I don't like those GMTs. I don't like them. First of all, whatever the fuck they are. I don't like it. It could only buy what they have now. Yeah. Someone close you up and says, Hey dude, I got this watch.

I'm going to buy it. You should buy it. Like my friend just got an opportunity to buy a black GMT. Who did? Friend in Florida. And he just bought it he just bought it he's like fucking I'll buy it listen if I have an opportunity the yacht masters go for 38,000 yeah and and it's a leather band too it's not like the leather bands I like the other one 38,000 they call me and I have it I would probably go spend 38,000. What if there was another dealer from another Rolex bill? Yeah, if they were like, look, we got your watch come by. Oh, yeah.

I'm not. Give us the Skydweller. I will give you this watch. You mean from an official Rolex bill? Yes. I would call my Rolex guy and ask him if I could do that. Why didn't you call him and ask me to give it to me? I did. No, you said, I'm not on me. That Rolex let me tell him right now and prove that. That Rolex. You call him right now and say, I don't

want to get them involved. You're right. I didn't do it. All right, then that's all I want is honestly. Yeah, I don't. Of course, I didn't do it. All right, then that's all I want, it's honestly. Yeah, I don't care. Of course I didn't do it. You're the one who's like, that was like, you need me on that wall. Did you, you're a damn right, aren't you it? No, I do it again. No, no, no. That was your, that was your, a few good men moments.

Yeah. If my Rolex dealer called me and said, you know what, sell that, watch your friend, I would've hung up on him. Yeah, whatever do. And whatever, wait, there's just, it's all materialistic, it's just a bull shit, whatever do. Whatever. It's all materialistic, bull shit. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. It's just really matter. If you call me a sad. If you call me a sad. Ask me if I would ever tell you my secret dreams of what I want again though. No, I didn't. Ask me if I would.

No, because if I find a cocked like that nice too. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, because if I find a cocked like't my goal. I get there and it goes, I got this, I go, I'll buy it. Okay, good. That's it. It wasn't my goal. I was going to look, you know. I love that you got it. We got lucky.

You got lucky. You got lucky. You got lucky. You got lucky. You got lucky. You got lucky. You got lucky. You got lucky.

You got lucky. You got lucky. You got lucky. It's called Bugoth. Why won't you tell me the name of it? I forget. Why won't you say you already got your watch? I'll tell you after the podcast. Why you give them promotion? No, I'll tell you after. And why wouldn't you tell me this whole thing? I'm watching the Switzerland in the downtown. What's the big deal? Tell me the name of it. So tell me the name of it. Did they have any more watches to switch on? Switch on. I don't know, you'd have to call him. Oh, oh, he wants us to go,

they're gonna throw a party at their other watch door. It's vintage watches. They have vintage watches, which are you use Rolex, you know? But they're at a Rolex deal, right? It's at a Rolex deal. It's watches a Swing- a Switzerland has another shop uptown. He wants to do a night with me, you and Phil, where we'll go hang out, talk, maybe do a podcast

or some video stuff up there and just hang out, check out that shop. I'll do it. Are you into that? Yeah, I'll do that. Okay, cool. I'll do that. That sounds like fun.

I would buy a Rolex from a, a usual one from a official Rolex dealer. You know, I'm done. Once I get my Skydweller, I'm out of the watch game. Until, like, if I get a lot of money, if I get millions, I would buy a presidential. I'd get that platinum one. The presidential one? The one I showed millions, I would buy a presidential. I'd get that platinum one.

The presidential one? The one I showed you, the picture. That's fucking amazing. Yeah, I'd get that. I might get a day date platinum. But it has the day on the top and then the date. Yeah, I love the... But what is you believe?

John Mayer, the ones he has that are like 250,000. Like he showed me at the seller two watches. He's a watch guy. He knows everything about them. Yeah, but I mean what kind of watch course is 250,000 dollars? It's just a watch, you know, a certain Rolex that came out that is hard to get. It may say, you know, something under a certain word underneath that they don't do anymore. They don't make just one of them, right? They make some of them, but they go away.

They don't make a ton of them. Rolex doesn't make a watch for a human being. There's a million time X Casio makes a watch for anybody who wants it. Rolex doesn't do that because I'll show you something real quick by applying it. This guy. Where are we right now by the way? Bath? What's bath? Something you don't take. Stop saying, uh, you keep going, uh, I'm sorry. It's driving me crazy. I was in the dentist's office. No, it's okay.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Stop it. Okay, sorry, huh? Just fucking thinking your own head. All right, I got to show you something. So amazing. This is so, am I going the wrong way?

Yeah, big camera. This is this. Oh, here. Okay, so you're RVs up there. Those are too big. I want to smell it. Smell it. Smell it. So what's up. Those are too big. I want to small ones up there. This is so what's up, Tommy? Okay, so I'm playing golf in Vegas

with this fucking multi-millionaire, the guy owned. Right. I mean, not the one guy I usually play. This other guy, he owns like, not rehab, whatever. Just many merch out around the kind, just stupid money. So he goes goes I'm gonna give you a Pudder a certain putter

Yes, I'm friends with a guy Scotty camera and putters, right? Okay They're pretty pretty big on tour to Tiger used those two ones, you know So he goes this week next time we play. So I didn't see him that week again, cause there's rain news. So I went to Vegas like three weeks later working another couple.

He brings me this putter, right? Okay, yes. The putter's worth like 400 bucks. This putter head cover right here that came out of putter you see. What is it saying? It says for tour use only. Joe put that in the thing so people can see it.

It's for tour use only. Got that in the thing so people can see it. It's for tour use only got it only only camera only like It's worth about $1,700 the putter head because only ten of them were made wow and it's just a putter head cover I guess got a camera so you know you're saying well a watch you know just like you know the homeless Wagner of baseball card only a certain amount were made did you see is it Aaron Paul what's his name?

Rick you man? No no no Jake Paul's brother what's his name? Oh yeah yeah. What did he do with a lot of money? He just did something. What's what's the other Paul? Jake Paul and... Oh, look at that, guys.

Look it up. Look it up, man. Whoa, look at that. That's a lot of RVs right there. Oh, look at that. Yeah, but those are all the ones you put on a truck. No, not all the ones. Yes, the whole H-L-O. White H-L- gun, yeah, okay, so low gun Paul just

was on WrestleMania You follow wrestling at all. No, but I read the story. I don't remember Well, he was on WrestleMania. Yeah, and usually when they have guys like him You know People in show business or acting or whatever they, whatever they call him. They kind of stink or whatever. It's not as good, you know what I mean? But he really put effort into it and did, I mean, went to wrestling school,

wherever the fuck that is, And he actually was good. You know, a bunch of moves. Really, one of the matches of the night, which very, I don't think happens when it's a celebrity wrestler. Yeah. Right, yes, wrestler. He really did great.

And he's got the swagger and all that shit, right? But the one thing that he did, he came out with the rarest Pokemon card. Look it up on the thing, Joe. Tell me how much it is. Logan Paul's Pokemon. So it's on a gold diamond necklace inside of a gold diamond frame glass. But the little Pokemon card itself, I think it's a million dollars. You want, it's 5.27 million dollars. It's a five-second. He's walking out. He made this Pokemon card into a necklace.

He's like a rapper would have like a fucking hubcap made a dot-man's go. Let's do that. A five point, a five million dollar Polky man car than everybody was Around his fucking neck. I thought that was I thought that was pretty funny Didn't he make a big donation or something after that? I don't know. You know does make big donations If you have any duct tape back there Give me a piece of duct tape Can you is it easy to get to? Go ahead.

Who does big donations? I'm very interested in why you want duct tape. I don't know why we want. My ring is loose. I just want to put a little on the bottom to make it a little tighter. The fact that you said, do you have duct tape and Joe's like, yeah, is nuts. That's crazy.

I don't need that much. God, I mean, it's crazy that you just whipped out duct tape. So your ring could fit on your little bit of your fingers. Did anybody need sardines? I like that one. I like that one. I mean, the fact I went, uh-huh, is your sardines and your lexas right now in my house I don't know if I have them in the lexas yet. Did you leave the car at my the keys? Yes. Yes. I'm gonna have a go steal your sardines

I don't think you I don't have that major problem and that emergency night when you're like starving And it's on the like the 10th hour and you want to say we're gonna die and you're gonna go no one not you're gonna go for your suck needs you don't think like shit I'm gonna have training for Lord of Doom cookies who makes a lot of donations to us this guy missed I think it's called Mr. Beast on YouTube have you? Oh yeah, he's got 90 million subscribers. He's got 90 million subscribers. What? He has the most ridiculous shit on the planet.

He recreated, you know that, what was that game? He's quit games. He's quit games. Yeah. He literally recreated squid games for real and had them play it for, was it a million or half a million dollars.

But Dave, he wasn't killing them. No, but he was, they were, they were, they had blood packets and stuff and they would shoot out. It was unbelievable. He gives money away. Like, he'll just go, he bought a guy a house. He'll just buy somebody a car. He'll give somebody like one of the guys, he'll be like, hey, you make this basket. You can win, you know, you do $20,000. He did one regain some of the credit card with a million dollars on it,

and they could spend as much money as they want, but it has to be within a minute. With an a minute. Yeah, so you can go online and buy something real quick. I will go online and buy a house. Could you do it in a minute? I don't know. Probably not.

I'd buy a Rolex. Oh, big deal. I'd buy a fucking Bentley. Or a fucking Bentley. A car, a Rolls Royce. Could you do that in a minute? I don't think I could type in my credit card number in a minute.

My wife could. What would you buy in a minute? I think I could be eight. get like a thirty thousand dollar camera But you couldn't do that in a minute. I know. I don't know what you do What could you swipe a credit card and buy gold? Bitcoin And the minute I don't know you buy it in a minute you could probably buy gold Stock stock goes like that.

Yeah, but you have to get your card in, you'd have to whatever stuff takes too long. I think gold, I think you're right above gold. I think you buy a million dollars worth of gold, right? So he went to, he brought these people there at jewelry stores, game stores, and stuff, John Deere and stuff. Oh, okay. Oh, he brought them to places where you could just go,

I want that and you buy it. I get you, okay, jewelry store. Oh yeah, that makes sense. John Deere, buy a tractor. He did this other thing where he bought a car lot with full of cars and all the cars were free. And they all had free signs on the cars And then just waited for people to like show up and then we just yeah

Yeah, he went into a car lot right? Uh-huh. I used car lot and he bought all the cars He bought every car in car lot like God it's got millions it makes like 55 million bucks a year YouTube He makes It's got millions it makes like 55 million bucks a year YouTube He makes 5 million off he makes these videos So he went in about the car lot all the cars and people People were coming in to buy a car and he's like which one do you like I kind of see you on this one I like this one great George take care of it like They're like, what? People are so freaked out. Like, are you sure? Again, bye bye.

He just, I mean, dude, this guy's karma is often charged. He took his friends. He took his friends to the most expensive restaurant. I believe in the world. And the way to can these listen, you have to see this guy. He's just a dweeb looking dude. His friends are all nerdy. They're not cool looking.

They're not like, you know what I mean? Like not like me. Yeah, okay, like you, yes. Like you. He's not cool like you. And the waiter, I'm sorry, the waiter comes over. And he's like, yeah, just give us one of everything. And the way it was like, like, you're sure this is a very, it's a thousand dollar.

I believe a thousand dollar golden steak, right? It was a golden tomahawk for a thousand dollars. And the table next to him was like, what is that? And he goes, it's awesome. You got to get one. Is like, can you send one over to them? You just said, you said $1,000, Tomahawks take, did this couple.

And they were just like, I think they already had eaten them. Just like, you know, we were just kind of asking what was we didn't want this. But now they had to eat it. But they bought, I mean, everything was on the menu as $500, $1,000. And then they gave the guy, I believe, a $5,000 on tip. They gave the way. Hasn't always because they ordered the menu.

So they did the math, and they just gave the way to this fucking ridiculous tip. I like that. That's fun. Yes, that's fun. You know, Ali may Vinnie Brands daughter that does. I do not. A little bit. Oh, I think I better. Yeah. She had the best fucking tweet. I wish I thought Nikki Glacier song to come out. Oh my god. Why do I forget that? That's funny. I knew you just a little bit. Oh, look at that. Let's see those windmills. Yeah. That's fucking blood. Look at all those windmills. Oh my

white trash. Look at that. See that's power. What? There. There. Are you being literal? Yeah, I'm just saying. Yeah, that's that's called power. That's energy. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Fuck all the solar bullshit. Why mills? Did now I was talking to Joe. We were at the First stop that we went through. You know these towns up in upstate New York Look into silos here at Indian. Yeah. No, it's okay. Look at them. Do you think I'm kind of talking to Joe and the people right now? I don't know you have I'm kind of talking to Joe and the people right now. I don't see. Well, you have, I can do your old minds. Just want to eventually.

I bet you there's corn in those. I know. Look at the cows. Okay. And that was, that was like a weird little town. It was like full of lesbians and blue-haired people and antique shops. And it's called America. And it's called America.

But it's called America. Yeah, but up in the woods up in there, you would think that it would be, you know, all red neck and camo and deer hunters. And it's not. They are. It's pretty progressive downtown. Yeah, there was like health food stores and stuff

in the middle of nowhere. So what's your point? Well, I'm getting to it. I mean, I thought you were looking at windmills. Look, a field. Anyways, I am. So he was like, I can, I, I could live here in two seconds. I'll come up here, live in the woods and, and, and just chop wood and be happy.

Who he said it? Yeah, because he's not giving up anything. I'd learn the banjo. What do you mean he's not giving up anything? He doesn't have a career. My God, for us. He's not married, he doesn't have kids. He can do whatever he wants.

He's not wrong. He's not wrong. He's not wrong. But what I'm saying is, be single. When you're single with no responsibilities, yeah, you can take two years and go live in the woods. Or you can go, you know what? I'm gonna go do this or that.

I got a wedding coming up. You have a wife? I was getting married in October. You're getting married out here. You have a girlfriend? It's hard to believe. Yeah, she's actually gonna be in Niagara Falls when we get there.

She's coming this weekend. She's there right now. What is she at a hotel? She's in Buffalo all week because she's filming a short film or something like that. So she's an actress? Yeah, she's staying with my parents. Hey, you don't know Olivia?

I don't know. Olivia and Joe's, she's show. You never saw that? No, no, I rather watch my wife getting kang-raped. Fuck. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Oh my god. ah ah ah ah you're gonna ah ah

ah ah ah wow shit you got me, man almost killed me oh, man I almost spit everything inside this fucking car. I don't think I could live, I mean I love it up here.

I could, I don't know, I could not live. Like we have the land up in the Hampshire, right? I can spend, I'm a little nervous this summer because we're going to, we used to spend a week at 10 days up there the longest we've ever done. It's 10 days. Not in that tiny house. You haven't lived there.

My uncle has a guest house, but it's the same size. It's not much bigger. I mean, his house is bigger, but I'm spending up two months, June, July, and August. My wife will be up there with Max. God willing, they've hooked the plumbing up, they fixed the well issue, and then they build the deck. We need to do all that shit. But I'm nervous, man. I don't know, you know, I'm not gonna work for two months. I'm gonna work, but I'll be going back and forth from there.

So I'll fly at back and forth from there. So I'll fly at a Boston if I gotta fly. How far is Boston from the Ampher? Two hours from where we are. Oh, or I'll fly at a Manchester airport. Yeah. Whatever one, I'll just fly there. Park my car, do the gig and then go back up there

for a few days, but I'm not gonna really work in August. See, you're lucky. I wanna get like a, a few days, but I'm not going to really work in August. So you're lucky. I want to get like a impom springs California, like a, you know, how they have those mobile home communities like a big complex lives in one of those where in Florida. She does. Yeah, down in near Venice or, you know, down or down south on the west side. I mean, you can get a two bedroom, three bedroom, nice mobile home. Look, obviously it's a mobile home and people aren't doing well that live there or some aren't.

I don't think that's true. I think that people are maybe they just want to retire there. This goes back to me thinking, you're white trash, but there. This goes back to me thinking you're white trash but you're dreaming to live at a global part of it. No it's not. It's not. It's pretty. No it's to have a better way place to go in a winter to play golf. Okay fine. I understand that but I'm gonna go I'm gonna be able to fish all day. I'm gonna buy I'm gonna I'm gonna buy guns as soon as they get up there I I'm buying guns. Because I'll have a, I have a New Hampshire address. So I'm registered in New Hampshire. So I get to go buy a gun.

I'm hiking. I want to be able to do all kinds of weird shit that I wanted to do and not have that deadline of we gotta go. We gotta go back and drive back and unload the car. And we're gonna do that at the end of the gotta go. We gotta go back and drive back and unload the car and we're gonna do that at the end of the fucking summer. Buy your shin guards. I got at home. I am not buying snake guards.

Snake guards. No, no, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not buying snake guards. I got them even though I don't use them. First of all, the Hampshire's elevation is too high for snakes. Are you kidding me? Look up rattlesnakes in the Hampshire. There's something about being in the city though. It's for me, like last night, you know, at one 30 in the morning, I called Ari's phone, and he's like, I'm like, where are you?

The seller. Long as the food, yup, and we just found a 24 hour place and got some food hung out, and then I dropped them off and went home, I got 330 in the morning, which is fucking great. I just did something about that that's awesome. And there's also something about being in the woods and doing nothing, absolutely nothing. You know, I'm not in the woods, but being home, working in my yard or doing something like, I just did a bunch of stuff on my deck,

which is coming out. I think today on landscaping would read to season three, the first episode. I'll add it to that together. There's really no editing. Who does it? What do you mean? Who makes those videos? I make the videos. You make the videos?

Yeah, and I send them in and we put them up and I just did a bunch of stuff on my dad with you know with everybody helping and watching. And it brings me when I finish something on my problem or it gives me the satisfaction, a different satisfaction that I get from killing on stage or whatever. Because I own it, I'm making it look nice, or at least what I think looks nice. Yeah. And it's just, it's satisfying. Right. So I could stay home,

you know, like, okay, yesterday, I did, I went and played golf, then I came home and did yard work, and then I went and did a show. Like what other better day, you know, I took my kid to track practice, I think, yes, or whatever. And then I came home late at night, I watched an episode of Banshee, uh, Grigia, which is the best show on TV.

Banshee, Banshee, E-A-N-S-H-E-E. So I watched Banshee. I watched the episode. How many of the sales? It's so, this one didn't have sex. There's a lot of sex I know it's too much, but it's the same guy all the time. I mean how many times can you get hard to?

Oh, the Dutch guy bangs do yeah Yeah, yeah with the big cross of Jesus Jesus back. Oh, that kind of gets you going how hot is his niece? Oh She's got little volcano boobies. Oh like little chest training bar Oh, she's got little volcano boobies. Oh, like little chest training bar, broadsense. Oh, and she's, right? She's moored. Her face is so perfect. Yeah, but she's got cave enemies and mouth.

It's casted very well, very well. All right, what you got? Uh, no, so I watched that episode. So I mean, and then I talked to a friend on the phone for an hour who had anxiety. But that, you know, that, but that, you know, that's the dream, you know, being out away, doing what you want to do, doing a show, making good money, and, you know, waking up today, taking my, I went and picked up my kid who

subbed over our friend's house, you know, talked to her as much as I could to a 14 year old girl. Yeah. Did I took her to track? And now we're going, it's so, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, Oh, we're living the dream, man. It's living the dream. Oh, this is the dream. Like, you know, you can get better than this financially

or gig-wise. Yeah. But not, but really not much. Like, if it doesn't get any better than this, we are, we didn't. Like people say, you know, they hold you to a, you have to be, you know, Rogan, a Kevin Hart rich,

and famous to have made it. No, that's not why I got into it. I never got into expectations of becoming somebody else. I just wanted to be an actor and a comedian and do things and make money and support myself off for those things, which I'm doing, you know, tenfold. I mean, I own my own house, two houses, property,

you know, I own one car, I pay, you know, I pay for everything, I gotta stay at home, wife, stay at home, mom, we're living the life we want to live. Yeah. Do you want more? Yes. Well, that's your degree.

Right, what does that mean? I agree. No, it's goals. It's goals. It's like okay Let's have I would like to make a little more money this year. Yeah, I want to do this Yeah, that's true. And it's luck Let's not let's not forget about luck, but also too with

You know, there's yeah, I want to make more money. There's one thing one thing I'm missing from this business that I want just one thing Pretty much One thing I'm missing from this business that I want, just one thing pretty much. A funny act. Woo! An act, I don't have an act, I'm not a circus clown. What? It wasn't Jewish. It said never forget 2022. What's that mean?

The Biden one. Oh no, he won it. What? It said never forget 2022 I thought you're making it Jewish. No, I'm not. I thought it was about the election. And that wasn't 2022. So anyhow, I mean, I talked to a friend last night who had anxiety. I go, look, you're sober for at least 25 years, I go, you've been in this business,

you know, you're married, you have a house, I don't know, you might rent it or whatever, I go, you want, you already want, yeah, you're right now, you want, you have to get other people's results out of your head. You can't sit there and go, they have this. I want what they have. Because you have a lot of people saying that about you. You want to have what you have. You understand? Yes.

You have to want that. I just like, dude, I, you know, you have to really know your worth, know what you are, know what you have, and be grateful for what you have. I mean, I struggled for a long time. I lived in crappy places, it never bothered me. Cause I was happy doing comedy. I was on the road, took a 13 hour bus ride down to Virginia to do 20 minutes

to take a 13 hour bus ride back. It didn't bother me. I made 500 bucks. Great. I love comedy. I love acting. I used to go on a road and host for $125 a week. So yeah. So my point is that So my point is that you, you know, I'm still there, but somehow other people's expectations of me, because they're like, well, you didn't, it's like, no, dude, to you I maybe didn't, because Tim Dylan makes 100,000, I love Tim Dylan, I am so happy for him. I'm not, I could, I can never do what Tim Dylan. I am so happy for him. I'm not I could

I can never do what Tim Dylan does. It's not in me. Dude you gonna do it Tim. No that's not my thing My thing is over here if at some point someone hires me for an acting role and it pays a whole a wow That's great if some point you know I Oh, wow, that's great. If some point, you know, I've done theater tours, I've done well at clubs, I've gone up and down, right? That's it. And then, you know, my stuff is actually now coming back up. If you look at a heart monitor, it goes up and down,

you're alive. Right. Go straight across the road. Right, dead. Yeah, so it's like, it's up and down. I'm fantastic with that all the noise Usually comes from other people or what I think other people are thinking about me Where either way it does it's just useless. It's just got this information

It did you find out the thing? The snake? Yeah. So there's one snake. It's a rattlesnake. Yep. It's called the timber rattlesnake. And it's in the amp sure? Yeah.

What are the white mountains? It's only one venomous snake. Yeah, in the amp sure. Yeah, in the Fred. And it's in the... I see everybody seeing Fred. I don't think there's that many though, right? Well, they're snakes.

Well, I know that in the Catskills, when we went hiking, and I was reading up on what to look out for. Didn't you see it say you saw a lot of snakes around here? No, the one thing that really did shock me is that there were a lot of rattlesnakes up in those mountains. Did you see any? We didn't see any of the guaranteed, guaranteed we went by some. And you have to be careful on the trails.

Because especially if you go off trail where we do, we go camping, you know, kind of off the beaten path. You have to be very careful walking through the grass. There used to be rattlesnakes in Niagara Falls where we're going. Yeah. In our rooms? Yeah. I guess it's an extra rattlesnake. What if one crawls in the Indian tradition? What if one crawls in the Indian tradition?

If you don't get bit, then you have to keep the room. What if one crawls in your high-mean and you don't tell anybody for two days? Why are you making all these rattling noises? Why is your butt rattling? I told this Oh whatever This business you know look for the last two years So my creativity has not been Look I go on stage and I kill.

I'm not going to fail, just like you're not. But before the pandemic, every two years, I put out an album. And I just have not been as creative the last two years. I've been falling back on stuff I know that works, which is kind of cheating myself, because I've always said, you know, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna get stale or comfortable. So, actually, the only thing right now that I got to get back into is just coming up with a new album. You know, I felt the same way. I'm actually breaking that now because I've been listening,

I've been watching my sets. I mean, I recorded them, watch them and make notes and then clean shit up. Yeah. But my answer is, it's terrible to do. It's really hard to do. I know I was doing it. It's very hard to do, but that actually triggered me writing jokes. And another thing that helps me out, I don't know if there's a help you, but it did help me. I have a little notebook with me. Yeah. And I carry it with me all the time. I do it

on my phone anytime. I can't do it on my phone because I forget that it's there and it's gone. Oh, and then I'll, but if I forget that it's there and it's gone. And then I'll, but if I have that notebook, I look at that before I'm going on. Who helps you read? My wife. Oh, I have a, I have a, I have a, or have an app. I've here. It's called the dumb dumb app.

Oh, I, but I'll tell you the dumbest story what happened to me yesterday. It's not what you do with this. I won't get yesterday. I can say something about my wife. I had to do with this. I won't get yesterday. I had to do that in my wife. I'd be happy yesterday or two. And I'm lame and I hear this pounding noise. I go, like he every, sometimes you hear pounding in your ear. That's whatever it's called.

I don't, I heard this pounding noise. I'm going, holy fuck, what's going on in my head? So I start hitting my head like this. And I go, I'm hearing this fucking pounding noise. And I'm starting to freak out. I'm going, something's wrong in my head. So I started hitting my head like this. No. And I go, I'm hearing this fucking pounding noise on my head. And I'm starting to freak out. I'm going something's wrong in my. Then I went downstairs to go to the bathroom. Right? And I, and I still heard, I heard this pounding noise. I'm going, I started freaking out. I go something's wrong in my fucking head.

Did I keep hearing? I'm fucking obsessed or, this way, Joe. So, that's what your curse is to do. Yeah. And I'm freaking out, I'm going, I'm thinking like, I'm thinking I'm possessed or I'm losing my mind and I'm getting this fucking excited, I keep hearing this pounding and I heard it downstairs.

Then I walked upstairs and I go to my door to do here that pounding. She was, yes, stupid. It's a woodpecker. It was, it was pecking metal. Well, I'm dumb as that woodpecker. It's so stupid. I thought, I thought it was my mind. I'm the fact that you actually hate yourself.

I just, I just, what we're going? There you go, really. And now we're taking, now we're going past farms. We've gone to best farms for four hours. No, I mean, the back row farms. You see the dead coyote we went by? No, you did. Yeah, it was a dead coyote on the side of the road.

How far back? We want to go back? No, you did? Yeah, it was a dead coyote on the side of the road. How far back? We want to go back? No, you had kind of. Hold on, that might be the coyote's parents. Who is it? It's my daughter, Ellen, who had the baby. I'll put her on a speaker phone. Hey, you're on speaker phone.

Now I'm in the car. What's up? I'll put her to this idea at a later time. No, no, she's on a podcast. Oh, you're on a podcast. Is it a good idea? Is it an entertainment one? Oh, my God.

No, it's not. Well, I want to hear. Can we hear it? No, I don't have a night. I don't have a proposal. I need money. You what? I need money.

You need money. Money, how much? No, I'm just messing around. I fired my nanny today. You fired her? Yeah, she turned out to be racist. So what, why do you fire her? You had a white nanny? She was just not like a humili in liquor and what she white?

Yeah, and she was racist. If she's racist, that means she's anti-Semitic too, but go ahead. Well, I don't know if she's from Turkey. Oh, God. From Turkey? Yeah, I make a lot. You got to give it a pass. Turkey is one of the most

Antite Israel countries on the planet and go ahead. So what happened Who the nanny would scream and cry? Baby's no one evils around. She doesn't have a house key, does she? No, I'm a God. No, so when we let her go, she started making a lot of nice comments. Did she put her hex on you?

Maybe, I gotta, I'm seeing towels now. Wait, she said mean comments like first how old was she? Oh an older lady. Was she a gypsy? Did she do any weird shit? Did she light anything on fire before she left? Did she have any cabin? Yes there are is there any dead goats in the basement? Yeah. What's with the house? Has your husband penis fallen off? Yeah.

Did you go buy your husband penis and go smaller? Ha, ha, ha. Wait. What did she say? You can't say what she said after. No, don't say that, Lala. Later. No, I mean, it just like wasn't very nice.

So, did you leave now? Did you get her through a company? I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. road Joe. I know Joe I'll call you later. I love you. Love you goodbye Check the house Oh, yeah, no we're good. How pretty are you sure this why are we off the highway?

I want to find out Joe my phone's something the same way that you're going all right Well, do we have names to read? You have the I'm not reading no names. Have mush, do I have a thing? Do I have, do we have the anything I have to do? I think you can find out where the fuck we are. It doesn't, I don't know where we are. I'm sorry. No, this one is going to the highway. You're an asshole, Joe. This will go to the highway, but did it take us the wrong way? No, no, we're good. Okay, this one take us right to Batavia,

and then we're going to be right back on the freeway. It's going to take us right past this. Then why don't we get off the freeway? This explains exactly your personality, like that field. That's what your personality is. That's what it's like. That empty, lonely field of dreams. You look at it, you're like, wow, let's go take a walk.

And as soon as you get into it, you're like, wow, let's go take a walk. And as soon as you get into it, you're like, oh my god, this is the most fucking dead place ever. Well, that field is opening up your show to my- Yeah, well, let me, you know, here's the thing about fucking openers in Middles, and I said this on the podcast or I wrote this somewhere. Okay, first of all, here's the thing,

middles. Middles. Feature acts. Okay, and not you, because you're not yet a middle, but feature. They're not your tour dates. They're not yours. You can be replaced in 15 minutes. So many Joe right now. No, I'm telling that. No, I'm telling that. Not him. He said, oh, he's not in the middle. All right. I'm just saying. Joe, I'm done. No, I have nothing against Joe. Just what do I get? What do you mean they can be replaced?

No, but it bothers you. No, no, no, no. Can I just say it doesn't bother me. It's just bothers you when somebody who's, it's not their show puts up tour dates that, hey, I'm going on tour. Whoa. And it's like, yeah, you're opening for somebody. So you're not really, you up tour dates that K. I'm going on tour. Whoa, and it's like Yeah, but you're opening for somebody so you're not really it's not you're going on their tour It's like and I'm not saying names

There was a guy that worked with you once and he went to the club owner How the numbers and the drove you nuts Mike Fini. Let's just stay that That fucking bulbous knows alcoholic cocky and slated ego clock sucker out Well, I didn't say his name. I don't I did Mike Fini He's on a podcast. What's it called? Is the scenario with Brendan Sagalo? I like my cannon. I like those guys. I love those guys. I love them But anyway, when it feels he goes found the numbers dude. I said he was drinking a martini. I go I'm going to give you

an extra hundred bucks for this gig. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. For uh I don't know there was some travel so I was going to give you an extra one. Yeah. You know what I mean? And he so we go I'm taking him out to a stake dinner. He goes uh hey uh when am I still getting that hundred bucks, right? He went, like that. It's up to that hundred bucks, right? I was so enraged. I had to talk about it in therapy for like a month because I wanted him dead. So then we're downstairs and the guy goes,

can I get you guys anything? Now that he goes, yeah man, let me get a martini. And he does this little dry, whatever the fuck it is, I don't know. Like I'm like, I'll just grab a water, thanks. Ugh, okay, that's fine. I can't whatever you want. But then he comes in, he goes, I go, he kept going, yeah, I get some of my fans showing up to support. So, uh, and I'm like, okay, that's great.

Thanks, man. Yeah, they're coming in, man, they're coming in. And then after the show, there's four people in the boxing show. They lived in the area. And he goes, uh, this is going to be my wife now. Yep. All right, we'll wait. Oh shit. We're doing Bobby's podcast. What's up?

I don't tell that. Yeah, exactly. No, the real Wi-Fi, there's a problem with the Wi-Fi. What for the TV? For the computer paradise. Just go unplug it, count to 10. Unplug it, count to 10, unplug it back. Yeah, that black box on the computer paradise. Just go unplugged, count to 10. Unplugged, count to 10 and plug it back in. That black box on the TV table.

If you had to put in the screw that way, you'd have to pull out the, just pull out the, just pull out the pipe that's plugged into the wall that gives it electricity. No, no, no, no, the wall, the one into the black box, pull it out of the black box. Yeah, pull it, pull it. And the other end goes into the wall. But you pull it out of the black box pull it out of the black box yeah pull it and the other end goes into the wall yeah pull it out of the black box I know you pull it out of the

black box but dummy you could pull it out of the wall too it does the same thing now just pull it out of the black box all you're doing is taking the electricity out of away from it the make the whole plane on the black box it sets it sets it pull it out what pull it out of the black box. He sets it. He sets it. Pull it out. What? Pull it out of the black box. Oh, stop saying black box. Pretend you're having sex with Dominique in your finish. Stop it. Is that saying to go there? Barn. It's the barn restaurant. We're in the middle of nowhere. Is that Betty Boop?

We saw a dead, yes. We saw a dead coyote. I didn't see a Bobby. Are you, are we on the right road? Fucking Joe. My matches. Look, they're excited. There's a true, there's a sign.

What? It's like the 1950s coming soon. True value. They're excited about the true value coming here. How is your facial? It was great. Is that a good place? I had better facial, but I suppose for local, it's pretty good.

Yeah, the one I gave you, right? I knew you were going to do it. I knew you were going to do a fucking trick. Of course. Answered yes. Before we said how your facial is going to say, yes, I love guys coming on my face but then you would have been like wait what

guys. Yeah and I would have started master baby. I would I would have started helping you. This is the longest ride. Shut up. We're almost there in my life. Can we end this conversation? All right I'll call you later. It worked Bonnie. Okay. Bye. Bonnie. Oh, she got my number.

So where was I? I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. So the guy comes in. Was he shaking the martini. He ended martini like this. In his hand like this. Like he was sitting in the chair that I would sit in. And the guy comes in and he's like,

Hey guys, is there anything to do? There's no man. I'm good. How's it looking? How's the number for the next show? How's it looking? And I almost took his martini glass, smashed just the edge of it, and went,

fuss, and sliced his throat. And I just wanted to watch him, like, blood, gurgle out, and put it in the glass, and then sip it, drink his blood in front of him,

and then go do his time and my time. Okay, this is how aggravated I got on a gig. And it didn't really hit me so I was driving home how fucking mad I was. Karen Fihann, who I have opened for me a lot, who I like, very funny. Yeah. Well, she doesn't drive so she brings this fucking dud with her driving around. This fucking dud is so best. Let me just say this. Dud is the best is so best. Let me just say this. DUD is the best word to describe somebody. Colin Quinn described Joe DeRosa as a DUD.

It is so mean. It's so fucking awesome. Go ahead. So she brings this DUD. And I'm Jewish, but this kid can't be anymore. Really? He can't be anymore Jewish. Like he's a reason to understand Tisemages. Right. Okay. I'm pretty sure that's not why. So we order the comics on the thing order food. Then I look, he ordered just...

I said he could do a guest spot. Right. He orders like three things off the menu. Right. He's just doing a guest spot. then he says to the owner of Hey, can you go get me some barbecue sauce to the owner? The owner was a waiter or something and I'm driving home I go this guy did a guest spot and he ate for free but he ate more than all of us and he just did a guest spot in Cannon Brothers I go listen Cannon I want to use you as much as I can. But you can't bring this guy. Do you know who he is?

I don't know who he is. I listen to her podcast. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he could be a nice guy. I doubt it. But you're doing a guest spot. Yeah, but that's on Karen. That's not on you.

No, no, no. Whatever fucking name this is. That's on her to control her fucking her truck. You're that you he's there on her cloud card. Yes, okay, you understand? I gave a guess on your cloud card, right? Yes, okay, so that's her job, but she don't give a fuck about stuff like that.

She can care less if he orders. What could she listen? No, she's not either either. She can care less if he orders. What could she doesn't know? She's not eating either. She'll lose fucking 10 grand if she gains weight. Yeah, she's a fat ass. She's finished She gets any more sale out on the back of her leg. She's done. Yeah, she's getting me 1500 a month on holy piss You can see a friend fly quite nice. Make sure you fucking do your videos one that sons down. Listen. No, kid, she's gorgeous. No, what I'm saying is.

Is it on her to fucking control her friend? You know, but what? Look, I understand what you're saying, but he just has no. I think these comics... During title and assholes. They have... Their egos are fucking crazy. And I think that they think they have to be that way to get ahead. Does that make sense?

What? Get older cows. I'm gonna get an eye-alordered. Aww. Those are milk cows. What? Those are milk cows. What was your milk house? Fuck off. You don't know what kind of cows they are. They're the others Yeah, it doesn't matter. I they kill cows with others to eat

Right. Yeah, probably Can you if I look that up? Yeah, oh look at it. It's on that cow. Let's let's I kill it So I don't please don't do a cow joke over this way because I could see it coming in my own. I know I'm not doing that. I told you I don't do that kind of shit. I'm happy. Did it this morning? I did not.

What did I do to your wife? I didn't see it. I wanted to tell you what, what Bifte did the dumbest thing in the world. Marie Dew. What? So what? Quit touching me with your arm. Go ahead. That makes you throw up. Yes, you're fucking scared. You're fucking molested. What so we're quite touching me with your arm

That makes you throw up. Yes, you're fucking you are fucking molested You were fucked as no I was ugly listen. Yeah, that's who even worse. No, it's a guy who fucked an ugly Jewish kid I and fucked him up. No, something happened to you nothing happened to me. I dressed What just podcast show I thought you meant how long have we been doing this? What, just podcast? Joe, I thought you meant how long you guys been doing comedy? No, how long have we been doing? We into the extras. We're in hour and 20.

All right, so Jack, do tell me what you're doing. We're in the Patreon extras. I want to thank everybody for listening. I'm going to go to the Patreon extras right now. I'm going to tell you what my wife did, stupid. So if you wanna hear the end of this, Voss, thank you, VossRidgeVos.com. VossRose.com.

Oh, don't plug that anymore. My wife hates me. Why you get mad at me for plugging you? My wife hates me podcast. One of the best podcasts out there. We didn't do it this week. That's good, consistency, you know, you don't wanna do that. No, once you ever, ever you know, and then we took a break. Just don't do it. Have you never, you've never missed a week? Never, ever. Well, you're a better man than

you. You have a guest host or you would do an extra episode. Oh, yeah, that's to do. Any, I keep you going. Robert Kelly live.com. To for all my dates, just go there. If you want to come see me, I'm coming to your area. My special is the May 7th. It's already sold out. Sorry. But who knows, we might release more tickets. You never know. My special.

Also, you have a fucking, you really talk over people. Sorry, you finished. I'm sorry, you finished. No, you know dollar general, right? Oh my God, I wanna finish my plug. Raise the price for a dollar. I don't care. I don't care.

A dollar to quarter, you have to country. I don't care. Some people that hurts. Yeah. So anyways, comic whereables.com, all my merch is up there. YKWD hats, put these everywhere. I want that shirt.

This shirt is up there. All the proceeds of this shirt go to this man. I never got one dying. Nobody of a ballad. Go to reason. No one's ever ballad. So anyways, this is, there's no way. Stick around, it's not over yet.

This episode of YKWD is continuing now exclusively on patreon.com slash a rubber kelly. See you there. Ooh, hey, what's up, rubber kelly here. I want to thank my small business tier sponsor, Gunter Law Group. Look at, a lot of stuff has gone on the last couple of years. Crazy stuff, the stuff going on, wars,

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That's consultation, consultation. I can't even say that. Just call it up. Go to GunterLoggroup.com, email Kyla directly at Kyla at that's K-Y-L-A at GunterLoggroup.com. I'll just give her a buzz. 68224, 1967, to set up your consultation today. And if you mentioned YKWD, knock off 25% off of her fee. This is a legal advertisement. This is a legal advertisement. There's not intended to be specific legal advice. He's just a major magic act known to have to be so so. I'm so tired and exhausted. Me too. I'm fucking on the dead to the world. I hate Joe tired and exhausted. Me too. I'm fucking dead to the world.

I hate Joe. Fucking Joe. You asshole. Joe, you need to look on the map. But you have the same map on your- I'm driving you in the podcast. I'm just saying we both put in the same- Dude, you have-

I can't. But can you take over for me? Who me? No, because I don't want to fire anybody and kick them out of your car. You have fire. You're talking about. Is now a good time to ask if I can sell t-shirts? Yes, sure.

Show us all t-shirts. You have them? That would be great. I would love to. Sure I'll sell t-shirts. It's so funny when you said to me, I need to know if you're selling, which I didn't bring to see these. And I go, you, I need to know if you're selling, which I didn't bring CVs, and I go, you don't need to know.

Oh, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All right, listen, this podcast is over. We're giving you too much because we're bored. You're lucky we're on the car. Just trying to build that. See, here's the 90.

There we are. Oh, don't act like, oh, look at it. Oh, here we are. Three hours later. There is a town that hasn't been built yet All right, thanks for listening rich boss. Go check them out. I Think my specials coming out this month. Yeah, we're on fucking Flitter on switch and then switch as an aim in the network. It's gonna be on maybe on Pluto

sexuality Whoa It's gonna be on maybe on Pluto to be on your sexuality. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh my god, this sucked. Oh, this is unbelievable. I hate to be added to the part of the fucking trip. He just, I thought it was nice and scenic. You're a piece of shit, Joe. You guys are the best fans.

Joe Russell. Yeah. Well, thank you. Putting all this together. Check him out at, at jokes, Russell. Yeah, check out the cheese show cheese show Once a week with his beautiful life soon to be on YouTube go to check it out subscribe Can't you out there listening guys the best hands of road? You know what dude see you next week. Oh, yeah Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan.

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