Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Ride the Vein

Episode Date: January 2, 2017

This week on YKWD: We have Marina Franklin, Aaron Berg, Derek Gaines and Christian Polanco! We discuss an appalling video (New Years Resolutions for White Guys) that MTV has since taken down, field some of the best calls we've had all year, and choose between Marina's handjob story and Bob's trip to the rooftop! Watch / Listen and enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com. This is Richie Castelano from the Band Geek Podcast and we have something amazing coming up. On Tuesday, January 10th, we'll be doing our 100th episode live at the Village Underground in New York City. We're going to have a live band made up of the band geeks plus some amazing special guests. If you're in the area and you'd like to attend, the show is going to run from 8pm to 10pm.

Tickets are on sale now at ComedySuller.com. So once again, that's 8pm on Tuesday, January 10th at the Village Underground for the band geek podcasts 100th episode live. Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. This is gonna be a cost-effective podcast. No rules. I'm gonna the mic asshole.

I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone? Oh, what the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's... Ten no topics, no directions. I love doing it. It's just us sitting down and yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's tantrum-topics,

no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin. That's not what a host does. You motherfucker. I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough. I might affect somebody's life.

You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast. Unwhitecast.com. What's up everybody? We're here. Robert Kelly is back. We're doing the, we're supposed to have a week off. We're supposed to have a week off, but I fucked up on the math. Three minus two.

Three one episode. We got to. Yes, I know. I fucked up. Three minus two equals one. I'm much louder than you. On the Y, these are all. All right, there you go. They should all be something. Here we go.

Merry Christmas, Bob. Merry Christmas, man. Merry Christmas to you, D-Poo. Merry Christmas to all you fine folks out in, uh, I can't see myself. This is a very shitty shot you have of me up right now. You're just an asshole for ruining this fucking moment. What, what shot is that? What the fuck, D-Poo? What is it? Why you, you that that should be the shot And well, where are you gonna put you in the till?

Well, here we go listen, we're already starting off this fucking New Year to offer the disk is full the disk is full whatever this what the fuck did I already starting this shit fucking year off Well, we're rolling. We're rolling, but now look at all the I don't want all that fucking empty space look at the look how big your shot is and look how small I am This is ridiculous. I don't want the combo shot down. You need you need to crop your shot Why the fuck the listen don't fucking tell me that that's the cut. I mean, really, we're doing this fucking five years in. There it is. Now we're even. Now go sit in the shot. Now look at the fucking shot.

Look. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. in this fucking five years in? There it is, now we're even. Now go sit in the shot. Now look at the fucking shot. Look. Yeah. Look at that. We're even. That was great, Bob.

Well, I mean, what was the other shot? You had fucking this microphone in. You had a dead microphone. The other shot is like, we had like these basic shots up, so everyone can like use the show. You know what I mean? Everyone can use the, what? Fuck everybody.

Okay. That's my thing for use the, fuck everybody. Okay. That's my thing for this year. Fuck everybody. 2017. The table is disgusting. Every cock sucker that uses a studio, walks up, eats their shit, drinks their thing, does their dumb show, and then fucking walks out

without cleaning up. I had to clean the toilet today. Me. Yeah. I should have checked that toilet today. Me! Yeah. I should have checked that, Bob, that was me. That's not you. So, at your job, your job's not toilets. Well, I mean, that's Lauren's gig, usually, right?

It's everybody's gig who uses a studio. You don't just come here pissing shit and walk the fuck out. There's no toilet paper. Nobody, not one of these fucking shows that uses fucking studio. Fucking misery, fucking loves fucking comedy. That fucking cunt.

Laugh button. My wife fucking hates me. The fucking glory hole. Well, we got four fresh rolls from 7-11 there. I bought them. I know. You're a good guy. I'm not a good guy.

The fuck? I bought him I know you're a good guy. I'm not a good guy the fuck You know step it up fucking right cash shows Right Right Listen this rant isn't gonna work if you're not with me if I'm not playing the rant music if you're not fucking with me On this fucking rant. It's not gonna work. Oh was grabbing a cable. God damn it. Yeah, man All right, well, hold gold today was to prove that we don't need Lauren and we definitely do Well, of course we need Lauren because this thing that you won't do like scrub a toilet

Because that's beneath you say it like she's only scrubbing toilets. No, she does a lot. She did a lot for this She booked the show. Yeah, I know. She did a lot, but here's the thing We need the tables The table is disgusting. Look at all this fucking spit shine from people. This table needs to be clean. You know, anyways, listen. There's a lot of new shit. I'm fucking getting sick of this riot cast.

Fucking horse shit, by the way. Getting sick of your own podcast. I'm getting sick of the fucking network. You know, I don't like staying stagnant. If you reach a certain point of fucking coolness, stay there or go higher. You don't fucking go beneath that. And with this studio looking disgusting with fucking spit and stains and there's no toilet,

toilet looks like a fucking public toilet in a subway. There's no water in the fucking there's no water. Oh These people these savages just drink all the fucking water. Yeah, we got warm water today look man That's it you use the studio replace the fucking waters. How hard is it you savages? You're all fucking adults Every fucking one of you. I'm not your fucking mother I'm not fucking I'm not your fucking mother. I'm not fucking, I'm not your fucking father. It's simple, it's common sense and courtesy for other shows.

To fucking, you know, right? It's simple, common sense. It's a privilege to use the studio bomb. No, listen. It's a privilege for me Yeah, to use this fucking place You know, and then people get laks. Oh, you that's great. Yeah, they're all excited And then they fucking just fuck off you don't want to do it get you a little fucking whoever the fuck does it do it to do it The table and then I gotta I gotta go through this course shit with every fucking show and my show But we haven't been here and fucking a week and a half two weeks how long's it been two weeks?

two weeks we haven't been here and We left the studio spotless always do I'm gonna change the fucking locks. I swear to God, a fucking change of locks. Get a zoom H6 and go fuck yourself from a coffee shop. That's actually how I record my podcasts. Yeah, well from now on we leave today this fucking place gets clean. I'll do it. All right, so we know that it's not us. Anyways, another same fucking market. New years, Christmas, all this shit. What do we got? Let's move on.

Well, we got a quick couple of orders of business. Let's go. Yeah. Use our Amazon link for all your purchases, for whatever reason. Yeah, we should have been pushing that like six months before Christmas. We did a couple of weeks before. Okay. Yeah.

And then use of course a tweet, a big sponsor of ours. Yeah. Yeah, support to support us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. And thanks to all the fans for helping us hit the benchmark for getting our own custom URL for our new live stream channel. So YouTube.com slash the riotcast, network slash. Yeah, use the lot. Oh, yeah, use that.

And then, you know, of course, our show, when it, yeah, use that and then you know, of course our show When it's recorded goes on to you know what dude, that's right. Yeah, it's dream But live would use in the riot cast again me trying to help out the shows and then we'll get it me trying to help your fucking show Right me trying to help your fucking show getting more listeners. It my whole fucking career, helping other people become more fucking successful than me. Or doing it and then having them bitch the fucking the way I do it, cock suckers. Happy fucking new year. Happy new year. What else?

You want this good fan, bad fan? Yeah, I got it. I'm gonna shit mood. And I want to a meeting today. I feel great. And A.A. meeting. Shut up to a meeting today. I feel great. And a meeting. Shut up. It's anonymous. Oh, sorry. Just meeting. Fuck it's wrong with you. And now it's time for some good friend.

Bad Failed. It's better right? Look, you just need to take a UCB, some type of, I bet there's a character development course on YouTube. I don't know how to play drums on YouTube. Can I go to school broadcasting? I think I have to go to. You need to do some kind of good fire.

You can't just put like, cheese in your mouth and go, fire and buy fire. That's literally why I got our first good fan. I think it might be the nicest fan of all time. Is this my coffee? Yes, that's your one with no cream. No cream to Splenda because it's a large. Well, first of all, I get cream and Splenda. You said Splenda, bro.

Like I channel my scope. If you don't say you said Splendid bro, as with the name of the y'all, hey, I'll punch you in your cheek. Your ass cheek. You got it. So our first good fan says, hello, me and my family are huge fans of our podcast.

Of your podcast. Hey, and we love it. Never miss one. Great. We just wanted to, if we can get a mention on your podcast from Lee beat and the beat family Listening from Birmingham UK. What's up UK? What's up Lee beat and Lee beat family? I want to make it over there very soon if I can

Meredith try to hide did you get the schedule for Friday? I don't know what the fuck that means They fucked up. Oh, oh, I don't know I don't know what's going on. It, you know, it does. Hey guys, thanks for the whole family. Is that like, that's a family? What do you mean if, that's what stuck out to me.

Like, are they cuddling around a fireplace listening to your podcast? Yeah, there's kids like the dark shadow. When I grow up, I want to be just like Bobby. Yeah, I know you don't. Yeah. Well, point is, you don't want dead toenails.

Yeah, what a great fan. So our first bad fan. Yes, first bad fan. It's a guy named Jamie Ortiz. YouTube comment says Max still uses diapers. He looks like he's six or seven. Yeah, Max is a big kid. Max doesn't use diapers. He only uses them at night Yeah, Max is a big kid. Max doesn't use diapers. He only uses them at night because when you transit here, I'll explain fucking how you raise a child to you. Okay, I'll explain it to you. So, you know, you don't have to fucking lose sleep over it.

Why a fucking little kid is, first of all, Max is a big kid. He's gonna be a big motherfucker. He's bigger than the average three year old. He's a three year old and he's potty training. During the day, he wears regular underwear, but at night, you can't, they don't know how to get the fuck up when they're sleeping. They just piss. So you have to, you know, put a night diaper.

It's called a night diaper. You get a night diaper and he put it on a little max before it goes to bed. That way, he can sleep to the night, but we have to teach him, then in the middle of the night, if you have to wake up, just walk over to the bathroom and take a little pecker out and take a piss, or if you have to shit, you can take a shit.

And hopefully, you know, on the next year, half a year, he'll wake up in the middle of the night and we'll lose the diaper. I got a question for you, Bob. Yes. Would you ever share a toilet with your son? Like, would you both pee into the toilet at the same time? Yeah, when I would teach him how to piss, I did that.

Okay. My dad did that with me and I always thought it was strange. Nah, it's not strange. When you, if you think sex is strange, it has, it's nothing sexual. If you add sex, like penis is, it's like weird, but it's not. It's your son. And it's like, it was how you pee, I hit the water. And I did it one time and now that's the way it does it.

Did you make sure you were fluffed up when you showed your son your dick to make him not embarrassed? See that you make it was how you pee, I hit the water. And I did it one time and now this way does it. Did you make sure you were fluffed up when you showed your son your dick to make him not embarrassed? See that you make it, that you make it weird. Now, I think my dad did that too. Now, of course it'll fluff up. If I, you could traumatize your son by having a small dick at that point.

First of all, everything to him is huge. It's color was travels, you know, it's like he, he's a little appucion to my dick. No, thinking back, it was definitely big relatively speaking. Yeah, it's of course, my, I know, it's fine. I got the same dick. I think my kids can have a big impact on them, me to be honest with you. Well, your mom's got a good dick, big dick jeans. No, it's not the mom. It's the, it's the father. I think, I think the mom is the bald. I think

heightened shit is the wife's, you know, I think hope I hope it doesn't have my my dick's actually nice good to know Our first uh, yeah, all right. Oh, I guess we got guests coming. It's 343. So don't answer it. Don't answer it Who is it? It's probably just a guest being punctual. Fuck them To read the next one good fan bad fan. right, our second good fan says it's a comment but on you to Chris Connors. Chris Connors. He says, I want to thank Bobby and the YKWD

podcast for introducing me to all these great comedians. I saw Joe list at last boss and last week and he was unbelievable. Unbelievable, I was just with him. What a great guy. Yes, you're welcome. I wish some of them cleaned the studio after they fucking used it, but yes

That's what the show is all about Introduction to new guys that I've never met and guys that I think are funny, so I'm glad that you You get that make sure you join hey listen real quick. Yep join the how do they come on? All right Yeah, I forgot so They can get the app. It's called the Robert Kelly's you know what dude app it's available on iTunes and IOS and Android That's right. Or your browser if you want yes a lot of people are getting it to watch the Christmas episode Yes, the Yankee swap is up there. Podcast is up there What else the live the live ones up there, right? Yep. We have three live beautiful, awesome, hilarious fucking episodes up there.

Only for premium members. 199. Get the app signed up. All the other, you look, you get 10 episodes free, okay? But we need to, you know, we need you to support the show. And that's the way, everybody's like, how do I suppose, this is the way you support. We come a premium member and we put stuff up there for you, only you. And that's it.

Everybody gets the show for free. We don't want to rob you. We don't want to put everything behind the paywall. We don't want everything to fucking you have to pay for. But, you know, the premium content, which is really great shit like the Yagi Swap, is behind the paywall. So, anyways, we're gonna start this show.

We get a great show. I'm gonna miss Bermoon. I apologize. I'm a little fucking I'm a little anxiety I'm going back on the road again You know back on the road a lot of stuff going on and you know and anyways, I get a I know the fucking cocksuckers, you know people people suck Just that that's what I've learned over 46 years on this fucking planet.

That nobody is ever going to fucking change for you. Who they are is who they are. The only person that will change is you. Grimm and this friend do except things that cannot change. Other people, the courage to change things you can you and the wisdom to know the difference. There you go. Little serenity for the new year for you guys.

Um, how we had a great Christmas, me, Max. and there was him to know the difference. There you go, little serenity for the new year for you guys. We had a great Christmas, me, Max, and my wife, we had no, and his family came over Christmas Eve, and Norton came over too, which was pretty good. I had a good time with that. And what's up, fellas? I'm sorry? There's certain seats way for deep we're gonna tell you where as we would have sit. You guys are very punctual. I like that. Where are we sitting? Hang on where are we sitting? Where are we sitting? You are a Christian over there. Yep.

Right here Aaron. Thank you. Who's there? Who's in the main seat? Who? Who's that seat? Marina. Okay, great. What's up, fellas? Oh, man. What the fuck? Revolution. Revolution. What's up guys? Why you why you dressed like you just all got an MTV show? What the fuck what are you there manager? What the fuck is that outfit? You always look presentable. Stop it. You never not look good. What's up you?

I got no excuse. It's been a long time since you've been on. It hasn't been a while. You were a little cutie back in the day. I've got no left chain. Yeah, man, I know. What's happening with you? I don't know.

I'm just ready to do tech talk. Remember that? Remember that? Yeah, and what else did you do? You would just take a little fucking cute nobody What would you do what you do for a show? What wouldn't be first show what you do for us. She did some shit for us. Yeah, I did I did tech talk with you Detect talk. Yeah, I was friends with Kelly. Yeah, that's it. And now you're now everything's going good

Everything's going great. All right. Well go through the names tell everybody his name's deep boom all right So our first guess you just heard him Christian Polanco. Who it's been a long time. It's been about like three years. And now you're doing comedy full time? I'm gonna say this right off the bat. If you get on your phone, I'm telling you to get the fuck out of here.

No fucking joke. Aaron, you hear me? If you get on your phone, that means you don't fucking give a shit. And you can get the fuck out. I'm telling everybody. Every fucking show I do, you don't fucking give a shit and you can get the fuck out. I'm telling everybody. Every fucking show I do, you fucking assholes around your phone. And you hate it when the crowd does it, right? If you look out in the some white chick on a phone

during your set, you pissed off? Yeah, exactly. If you see some fucking Puerto Rican girl on her phone, while you're on. Yeah, I'll start yelling at her. Yeah, it's got yelling, right? There's other stuff. First of all, we're on a podcast.

The microphone helps this whole situation. Oh, yeah. I know we've started. It's on. Oh, OK. I'm in a miserable mood. All right, I couldn't tell. Oh, yeah.

All right, let's talk. I'm in a bad mood because the studio is a shit. And nobody's in all these cocks out. All these other fucking shows are using the studio. And look at the table, it's like they don't clean up. They come up, they use it. That's why you even know the comedy club, but the new one and it starts out,

they give all free shit and all kinds of awesome. And you get like a hoodie and blower. And then there's like shit in the green room and you can have whatever you, and then a year later you come back and you can only have this, there's no more of that, and fuck you. That's cause comics come and just take advantage of it

One guy took seven hoodies And it took a shit in a barrel There's a barrel at that comedy club all we do is always take take this all we do that's a seriously That's all we do I miss you man. I miss you too, buddy. Hey, no fucking cell phones That's all we do. I miss you man. I miss you too buddy. Hey, no fucking cell phones Well, I was that His phone is no good. I did a show last last time we did a show. It was with I mean all the regulars Yeah, cell phones everywhere. They were fucking Dan everybody Lewis every on their phone the whole fucking time If you I'll burn it up. Okay. Don't I will

fucking fight you. Berg. What's something in chat says Bobby is establishing his dominance in the group. I'm not there's no dominance in my group. I'm just saying I'm done with it. Oh seriousness. Right. The first I'm telling everybody because people

get on the we're addicted. We're addicted to these fucking. I'm look I'm addicted to. I'm sitting with my kid fucking I'm sitting with them fucking I'm look. I'm addicted to I'm sitting with my kid Fucking I'm sitting with them and I'm on my fucking Facebook feed Looking at a futuristic water bottle that's some twat fucking twat. What the fuck my mind? There's a human being Right there that is just help me be something. Yeah, help me fucking, I don't know what the fuck, I just feel all this shit.

And if you talk, I will talk, I will do whatever the fuck you wanna do. And I'm sitting there with my dumb phone, looking at Clarice fucking John, whoever the fuck it is. I'm gonna be fucking okay. And I'm like wow, it's a good, water bottle. I bought it, I bought two of them because if you bought them right then, it was a deal.

It was $15 off. I wanna hear more about this water box. It's high. It's called hydrate me Sparks It's really good. It's coming around two weeks. It was a Kickstarter way more interesting than your kid Second thing Yeah, I'm from Boston. You know fucking talk about the family. Yeah, I'm in fact, yeah, I'm from Boston. You don't fucking talk about the family. I'm gonna stand up saying, yeah, anyways. So I'm gonna fucking shit mode. I'm gonna fucking shit mode. But anyways, I'm happy that you guys here,

because I haven't had you, I haven't had you guys on in a while. A long fucking time. We didn't just introduce everybody. So there are gains here. Hello there. There are gains. Oh, you're gonna clam up today. No, I Gaines. Oh, you're gonna clam up today.

No, I'm good. Oh, you're gonna clam up. How'd you go? You sure? You might know him from joking off MTV's, joking off, and another show on MTV, a broadcast game show. Fucking key word is MTV.

That's what you're hinting what we're gonna be talking about. And we also have Aaron Burg in the studio, who was recently on, this is not happening, Ari Shaffir's show, right? Now, you know, here's the recently on this is not happening. Are you sure fear show, right? Mm-hmm. Now, now, you know, here's the thing with this show. Aaron, you know, I love you, right? Yeah. Well, you do. All right, I do. I do love you. But here's the thing. You get on the show. I was told that there's no white guys on the show. Thank God. But well, you're a white guy. Yeah, I'm white. Who told you there's no white Irish affair said that they can't they don't want

They want minorities and women. Okay, I thought you meant this show today and Here's what happened first two years They wouldn't even look at me and then I had a tape that I Who the fuck wants to go on a show the third year? I always get that I always get the gig the festival Whatever the fuck it is when like is, when there's nothing left. No, you're a first-year guy now. Yeah, now you are. Buddy, have I been on it?

I love Irish, you feel. One of my greatest, I mean, I love that guy. We're friends, we were in Denmark together. We went to Noma together. Yeah. You know what that is? The together. Do you know what Noma is?

Young Buck! It's the greatest restaurant in the world, five years in a row. You can't get in. What'd you eat? Noma. $600 is a fucking pop. What was it? It's 27 courses, dude. Jesus Christ.

You ever have fried reindeer moths? No. I did. With with Ari Shafir. Yeah. Why don't you tell the story on the show about going to Noma? Well, I can't go on in Denmark. Did you hang on fucking, fucking, fucking, can't. What? My father, that's good. The volume is full. What the fuck does that mean? Volume Macintosh AST is full. There's an hard drive space. That's great. Thanks. Thanks fucking Riotcast Network. Thanks, right?

We've got, well, thank you Riotcast. Delete some stuff. Go. Thank you. Thank you for fucking making sure that my show, the show is done at all. Yeah. Four fucking shows were on this fucking network yeah 300 downloads a month look at the blanket wait but don't you run right cast network are you yelling I thought I fucking dead fucking

nothing what am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to f- I'm gonna find somebody to blame, that's it. I swear to God. I swear to f-ing God. The f-ing hard drive is full on the f-ing computer because somebody won't f-ing empty the f-ing hard drive. Uh. Because I have all these other f-ing shit shows up here. Using the f-ing studio, studio, you fucking cunts.

I'm shutting it down. Shut it down. I don't give a fuck. Go to the other networks. Suck my dick. Stry your own network. I'm arena. Every show can go to gas digital, please go.

Go to fucking Lewis, make him a superstar. The fucking hard drives full on the computer. Deep rule. What do you mean you know? You told me that, full on the computer. Deep rule. Deep. What do you mean, you know? You told me that, it began the episode. Marie, and I'm sorry. Yeah.

I don't even care. I just went to a fucking meeting. Yeah. You know, I had a great meeting. A business meeting. No, a meeting. A meeting meeting. Yeah.

My wife told me I got to start to go to meetings because I started winging out. I don't want to go to a meeting. I'm winging out. We're going to a meeting. We're gonna do a meeting with a church basement. Yeah, we're gonna church Beasts. Yeah, those meetings. Oh, okay. Yeah, the computers you I mean, it's just fucking useless So you got the sound right? We're going maybe I'll go I got to go with somebody. I know I'm so fucking I'm so fucking bullshit Right now I should walk in here and everything should be everything should be clean Everything should be the way I left it. That was the deal. How was it? It's dirty disgusting shitty

I had to clean the toilet. There's no fucking hard drive space on my fucking computer That's a rare issue though and Chris can back me up on this because he's you know very tech for tech savvy Everybody just turned that man Like if I know what's going on here. He just looks semallion. That's all I thought when I was saying Somalian Somalian Somalian yeah, what are you? Are a

Mali you're a salmon Wait right to his racial what the fuck? Wait, right to his racial... Samantha. Yeah, because I thought that... What did you say? I thought that Deepu meant by tech savvy that he was Indian. That's what I thought Deepu was inferring.

It could have been that. See? Yeah, so you have my second hand. What am I backing you up on? The fact that the hard drive of tech savvy... ...filling up. Hey, new rule, no phones during the show. Oh, I need to just charge it.

You can charge it, but if you look at it, I'm throwing you out of the studio. Are you as a woman? I will have as a woman. I will fucking throw you though. I'm a bad man. I actually encourage that She knows she knows how to get me We we we needed you because he was pretty angry when he's right to be I actually understand it It's that you see people don't respect when you create something, I actually understand it. It's the, you see. Like people don't respect when you create something and they just trash it. Yeah.

Who'd you say? People. People. Oh, they said black people. I'm not saying that. I was like, what the fuck? You would have been on Ari's show if you were. I'm, see.

Yeah, well, we were talking about, I do want to talk about, let's move on from my horse shit to all the listeners. I know right now Bob Fuck you. I'm moving on. Okay. This is mine. This is me in 2017 I'm learning how to accept it and and to move on 2017. Yeah, listen the show comes out Monday. Can you fake it? Oh? Yeah

No Yes All right. Well, here's the dish. What are we all fucking? He, huh? Oh, what's the theme today? There's no theme.

I don't have themes. There's a lot of themes when Marina's been on. Like we had the all women episode, the all black episode. Well, that's just because it's the all black theme. That's what it is. We had to find themes to have a reason to have her on. Can I say this? And I think that this would be a good topic

since you're going with the theme today. When I saw Marina last week, I accidentally said, God damn, when I saw you, because you had that sweater on, and Marina's fucking jacked right now. She's been that shade. Well, after the four days of Christmas evening, I don't know. She looks phenomenal. If she took that sweater off, you'd do like a tongue drop.

It's phenomenal. Thank you. And coming from you, it means a lot. Why? She works out. He's a trainer or was a trainer. Jim Ratt, you see a trainer. And he's like really fit.

Coming from me, it should mean a lot. Because I'm a fatty. OK? Coming from him, it's just horseshit. Why would it mean a lot coming from you? Because I'm a fatty, I can respect it. That doesn't make sense. I like you, I like you, Chubby, and I like you now.

I like you the whole, the fucking whole way around. I know you do. I'm just saying, I don't like you giving credit to a fucking bird, that's all. Well, I'm saying that she looks goddamn great. Why are you wearing a scarf? I was cold. Are you a reporter in the fucking Afghanistan?

There we go. Thank you. Oh, that's worse. Put the scarf back on. See, you're fucking. Look at him. Just now. Just now.

Just now. Just now. Just now. Just now. Just now. Just now. Just now. Just now.

Just now. Just now. Just now. Just now. Just now. Just now. What is that called again? It's called almost in shape. No, no, no, there's a name for this indention. It's called middle age. It could be better. I just started my diet three days ago. Listen, let's look at Cadillac. You're way better shaped than me. I should talk right now.

But you're good, but you're not fucking perfect. I'm perfect. No, not at all. I'd fucking fucking before I fuck you. Yeah, because he're not fucking perfect. No, not at all. I'd fucking fuck him before I fuck you. Yeah, because he wouldn't tell anybody. You would bring it on stage in a rose battle. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Roastin, you was like fucking Bobby Kelly and Pekipsi. I don't know why. All right. Give me a bomb rag. I don't even want you to have it on that. All right. Oh, wow.

Jesus. Hey, so here's a deal. I do, I know we're a fucking two weeks late on this. But we did this, this, this, this, we, this MTV video that we've all saw. We've seen it, right? You've seen it. No. You didn't see it. White guy rev resolutions. No. You have it up really? Let's play it real quick. Now, do I have to put the volume? I guess I've just avoided all white stuff. Can everybody hear it? quick now. Do I have to put the volume just avoid it all white stop? Can everybody here? All right guys, wait wait, are you just bringing it up? Yeah?

And this is our TV I Don't know why I want to get it there. It is a few things hang on. Let's stop Number pad five about to be in Should we check our phones? How do you do something? How do we set something up and I go that's the way we should do it every time and then out of nowhere We just we we're not on demand. I'm right here. All right, so on the keyboard hit number pad five So move the bomb Dana and there you go all right wait a second What I do with this one just move that back to at me

All right, press it again. Yep Okay, ready wait Ready yep Hey fellow white guys. It's about to be a new year and there's a few things we think you could do a little bit better in 2017 First off try to recognize that America was never great for anyone who wasn't a white guy. Can we all just agree that Black Lives Matter isn't the opposite of all lives matter? Black Lives just matter.

There's no need to overcomplicate it. Breach, breach. So, you want to watch it through once and then go back over it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, let's do that. Blue Lives Matter isn't a thing. Couch walk ball with blue skin? Right?

I mean, yeah, they want ball and blue. Stop bragging about being woke. Stop saying woke. Learn what mansplaining is, and then stop doing it. Oh, and if you're a judge, don't prioritize the well-being of an Ivy League athlete over the woman he assaulted. We all love Beyonce. And yeah, she's black.

So of course she cares about black issues. I'm talking to you Fox News. Feel free to take Kanye West, though. Who's he making out of? Fuck is he? I actually know that, Josh. Nobody who has black friends says that they have black friends. And just because you have black friends,

doesn't mean you're not racist. You could be racist with black friends. Look guys, we know nobody's perfect. But honestly, you could do a little better in 2017. Some of you guys do a great job. Some of you don't. Who took the makeup? Because 2016 is the best. 2017. Can't you watch it all right? I want to go back. I need to go back over this. All right. This is... This is... This is...

It's just like that. It's just overall produced badly. But here's the thing, this is what was the video. Where are you talking about the issues? Can we do this if me, if me, Norton,

Aaron, Russ Maniv, Paul Verzi, did this about women and blacks. I'm retweeting it. Do you understand what the fuck would happen? Do you know what would happen? You know what would happen with our crew? Hold on.

First of all, none of those people were funny. Were they supposed to be funny? The whole thing is so badly produced. It's beyond the point of even addressing the issues if they need makeup, they all look oily, they all agree. See none of the women look attractive. I thought you had to look at least decent on TV. But you know, can I stop for a second?

Do you want to stay? Who stopped? Listen, it's not an issue. It's fucking it's it's well thought out production. You're absolutely. Listen, let me let me state my case. You're out of your mind. They got the black guy with the cardigan in the kitten shirt so that the white people could be. Oh, I felt safe around them. Yeah. They got the white girl with fucking unconditioned dirty hair with fucked up on this side pony to I just I just ran out of class.

They look like people. And they had the Spanish girl hair pulled back. How almost white you don't Italian. You don't know what the fuck she is. They didn't get the Spanish girl. I fucking know they got the pipe last girl. Every and then the black girl. Oh, I don't know what was she black was she what the fuck was she?

Let's go back. There was a black girl. Yeah, the second one. I think that was a black lives But she seemed Mexican or South America some no she was a black girl that white people will fuck Oh, that white people can be cool with this girl. That was MTV. What is her head? Do I think she looks a little Portuguese? Yeah, that's that's their Spanish girl right there Yeah, that's that's's their Spanish girl right there. That's what the Spanish girl, I date, could a fucking beat the shit out of me at any point. You dated Spanish?

I used to back in the day, dude. That's all I, my dream was to marry a Spanish girl that would fight me if I was going out. Where you going? Boppy, I gotta go down to the house. You ain't going nowhere motherfucker. You're gonna suck my pussy and feed the fucking dogs. I like you, try to chase.

Not in that order. Who is this girl? Who is this girl? Great impersonation. That probably hands down the worst. Mother fucker. You're gonna. No, no.

Robert, it took me a second. Maybe it took me a second, okay? I had a rough start today. Got me some slack. I'll give you that. I was just like, okay. All right, now go to the next girl. Okay. Hermit.

America Ferrara. Okay, this girl, that's who they're saying to black girl. No. No. That girl's not black. What is she talking about? She said the black girl. She said the black girl.

I'm not saying she's black. Don't say no to fucking me. Okay. I'm saying casting went and said we need the widest What she mixed we need a minority black. Oh, you That's not Yamanika. No Yamanika would have fucking that's not even that's not even Marina. That is clearly a Somali and woman I can't see she's not black at all. She looks like you

I should be in this video. That's I have to stop you there. She looks like my cousin. There are black women who look like that But that's not the problem the problem is that they're all just Weird, okay, let's let's look at the next one. Who's the next one? This thing is you. Here we go next one Here we go. Ready. This is the next one. Okay. That's the white guy is a casting issue. Here we go. Next one. Here we go, ready? This is the next one. Okay, that's the white guy. Gay.

Gay, white dude. Yeah. They couldn't have got you gay, white guy. No, I'm intimidating. Like you're a type of gay. I'ma come to your house and fuck up. That's it. It's intimidating.

Where it, it's like, why didn't you just get, why couldn't a white guy be in it? Well, I don't understand this. You think casting is a problem with this. This one would have been clear. Everybody saying this was thought out, the hair, the outfits. You tell me that guy wears kitten shirts and cardigans? Did anyone watch this?

No. I really, this into me. This one, I think. They didn't watch it. It went huge. They thought it was gonna be viral, but it fucking backfired in their faces. They wound up taking it down. They literally were fucking fucking freaking out took it down and then put it back up and then took it down again

Every Fox News MSN CNN everybody latched onto this shit because it's literally You're fucking wiping white men With rape. Yeah. I mean, I don't think that's the problem though. I think I'm not fucking that. I'm a white man. Don't fucking tell me. No black.

No, the fuck. I get to finally be on this side. I don't have to listen to shit. Yeah. Body must have not seen this video because it should be clean up his tone. It's so produced. It's produced so badly.

It's produced so badly. It's produced so badly First of all, what do you do you have a show coming up to your producer? Why do you keep bringing up lighting? Because is your brother like a boyfriend a best boy? No one can watch this because it's it's so poorly done. You're crazy. You you You keep bringing this up and I'm gonna be serious for you right now Marina, I'm dead serious. That's horse shit. It's not. It's horse shit. It's not.

No, it's horse shit. It's not mine. It's not my opinion. It's my opinion. The reason why they deleted this is because it was fucking reverse race. It was racist. Yeah.

That's it. It's not because of the, no, people did not not like everybody watch this. It got millions of fucking views. Millions. But it's a popular movie. But in the wrong way They thought because it wasn't done right you're being stupid

Marina you finish my point when things are done badly when things are produced badly Then all of the content of the story of the theme of whatever they were trying to do comes out like it did offensive. You're out of your mind. Here's the thing. You're out of your mind. If it was done right, if it was done with first of all the right people.

Play the whole thing again. I want you to tell me the right way to go. I already told you. I tell me the right way to play it. I want you to say how this could have been fixed. How is it married? I already told you that at the time. How is America? Let me ask you a question. What do you let me finish this is America is America's shit?

I get a question and then not let me answer it. Absolutely. It's my show. You bring me on the girl's show. Well, you want to argue with me. That's fine. Friends like this. I don't need enemies. Okay, that's what you're saying, but that's not what I'm trying to do. What I'm trying to say to you is that this is just so poorly done. You're saying the same. You've already fucking said it nine times It's bulls. You've already said it nine times. How many times do you want me to fucking listen to the same shit?

I heard it. I want you to tell me I did hear it and I disagree with it because I disagree with it because I don't want to hear you say the same shit over and over and over again That's why because no, I'm not I'm a good listener you said it and you keep repeating it people don't have conversations like it's repeating it It's repeating it people don't have conversations like this. We do we do you know you do no they don't okay So you want to fucking repeat yourself go ahead repeat what you already said? I'm gonna produce so badly. Yeah, exactly. That it exposes all of the flaws in all of the... You've said that already. And, okay, forget it. You've said it already.

Forget it. But say something new that makes sense to me. No. I won't say anything else. It's not that. That's what you want. No, that's not what I want. I want you to fucking say something that makes sense.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no to people who talk to me like this. I don't, I can't even have a thought if you're yelling and you're already you're acting me. You go.

And you're interrupting me. I can't even think. That's not how people have conversation. Okay, go ahead, you're right, you're right. I'm sorry, I apologize. I apologize. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

I'm really apologizing. I'm really apologizing. I'm mirroring you. I'm really. I don't accept your apology, fuck that. Okay, so wait a minute. I just want you to see how you look toizing. I'm really apologizing. I'm really I'm really except your apology fuck that okay So I want you to see how you look okay, I apologize. Okay, I apologize. I apologize. I apologize. I do I do Marina I do your friend of mine and I apologize. I don't ask me a question I want you to I really do want you to make it make sense to me. I don't want to make it because here's the thing Robert

Here's a here's a real issue. Yeah, this type of stuff. Yeah, I don't want to make it because here's the thing, Robert, here's a real issue. This type of stuff, I don't even talk. I don't get into it with people like you, I don't get into it with comics, I don't talk politics. So because I get angry, okay. So here's the thing. If you're going to ask me a question, then at least let me finish. You're right. You're right. I want you to finish. If you know that someone is already emotionally charged on a subject and you interrupt them, this is the kind of dialogue that's been happening

around the world, this is where people talk. Got it, I agree with you. This is why things don't get resolved. This is why people are divisive, period of interest. I agree with you 100%. You're right. I was a wolf past argument. No, I'm listening.

Well, that's because you let me finish. This feels like a, I agree with you. I agree with you. I was like a mice in their exercise. I agree with you. No, I'm This feels like I agree with you I was like a minor exercise. I agree no Listen Marina I agree with you all jokes aside these fucking three fucking cowards At least me and you will fucking have it out and I will be the for I agree with you I'm fucking in a shit mood started out bad this shit pissing me off you have a different view of it I wasn't fucking hearing it, I honestly, and I'll look over my glasses at you. You apologize.

No, I'm not, I don't apologize, you know me, if I don't, I don't give a fuck. I apologize, I really wanna hear what that, what you mean by that. Because I think that in this, by listening to it the second time, actually the third time, I think I might hear what you're trying to say. as well, but I want you to explain it go ahead

I'm just so angry about this dumb conversation. I can't even I can't even go back to that I mean, but this is the whole thing this this this is the whole point. I'm trying to make right is that Buzzwords for us as comics it it messes us up we get mad at people who get mad at us for buzzwords this is an example of that people are saying things that even pisses off white America or Fox News those are their buzzwords right this this whole video thing but the thing is I can't even watch this because one it's not cast right. The act, the act is not acting.

I don't know what it is. I don't even know who the, oh, that's my point. These are the people who fuck up the things I'm trying to teach. That's my point. But what I'm saying to you, you know what bothers me about this?

Is that they took it down? That's what bothers me. Well, okay. I don't, you were trying to be funny. No, I wasn't. No, not you. I know you're not. I've seen you said. Lizard, you know.

You, they were trying to be funny, okay? They were, oh, this is gonna fucking, this is gonna go viral. Everybody's gonna fucking flip about this. Because of the political atmosphere that's out there right now, and Trump and everybody hates, but, you know, and they thought this was just gonna kill. Well atmosphere that's out there right now and Trump and everybody hates, and they thought this was just going to kill. And it didn't. And then these took it down. It's, it's, it's, it's, twice. They took it down twice. People who think, oh, it's, it was just laziness the way they put it together. It's very bad. It's corny. It's

corny. But it has a core message. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. The fact is that they said shit about me, me. Specifically you. As a white man. Listen man, I've had people tell me, and I'm not gonna tell you who. I've had people tell me, look, we're not gonna do stuff with you

because we're looking for minorities and women and you're a white dude We want nothing to do with you. Don't care how funny it is. Okay, let me know who those people are. Sorry. Sorry And that's fine. Okay, that's fine, but it's like that's the that I think this shit happens back 15 years ago if you had a if you oh my I I worked I lived in a fucking, I was a garage man, or I was a ski instructor, they were handing out $500 million at Montreal. I have 15 minutes on being a ski instructor.

All of a sudden, you had a show on NBC, and you're a millionaire. So I understand the cycle of show business that it's not fair, the fastest horse doesn't win the race. And I've never been, I've never been in the white guy situation and I've never been in the minority situation.

I fall somewhere in the fucking middle and then I see this shit and I'm like, wait a minute, I can't say this, I can't say fag, I can't say make fun of gays, I can't make fun of blacks, I can't make fun of... What's the premise? What do you mean?

Of this. This is... It's New Year's resolution for white guys. Newer white men. For white guys. That we're basically some of you okay. It's literally the shit that they're saying, if you said it about any other race, or women, if you like, this is for women,

because you could put this, you could say that about everybody. Sure. Everybody isn't the best. Every country isn't, you know, but I would say that America out of all the countries for minorities is pretty fucking good. From the beginning, you know, yeah. Except the slavery.

Yeah, but I'll blemish in history, yeah, except the slavery But but the country went to war with itself over yeah, the country went to literally a bunch of white guys said fucking dude Let me just wrong. Can I say why this video is wrong because this country is going through so much divisiveness right now Good word that it needs to be brought together. This is a failed attempt at unity, a failed attempt at unity and it increased the war. Divisiveness. It's like, are you guys kidding me? You guys literally beat. You can't say this. Don't say that. You can't say. And then we say whatever we want still. Okay. We still have, but you have to deal with the repercussions of it. But and then all of a sudden, comes out, like it's okay for you to fucking say, if you say you can't say this about it,

then you can either. I don't mind. Go ahead, make this video about white guys. I don't give a shit. Number one, and the reason why I think what you were saying makes sense to me now and I wasn't hearing you, because first of all, I just don't like when you talk. Why?

I'm kidding. I was like, oh, Bobby produced this. That's why I showed it. No, but what you're saying is it could have been funny. It could have been funny. It could not. I don't think it could have been. I think it could have been.

My whole point is, like what you were suggesting earlier is if you Russ Maniv, you were talking about some funny guys had done this and most likely when funny guys handle material, I actually cut you from the project. Yeah, you cut. Because you're a wage Jewish.

That'd be white, white. When funny people handle things that can be considered offensive to some, for some reason when funny people do it, it comes across. I agree. Huh? I agree. Oh, thanks.

It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, I thought you, fucking Marie, not you didn't stick out for it, you just stand there and lie, I ain't got a fucking. It's just a good hand, that's all. I know, you guys were in the midst of a good argument. I was about to say, I agree what you're saying, but you start, you start back. Look, man, here's a good hand. I know. You guys were in the midst of a good argument. I was about to say I read what you're saying, but you started, you started that way. Here's a deal. I think that this fucking thing is ridiculous.

That's a black woman that you just call the thing. I'm not the video. Without looking, yeah, you, what? I'm at the video. Without, without looking, yeah. But to be clear. That's not a black woman, that's a Spanish woman. There was a black woman.

There she is. She's back. There's the thing. There's the thing you call first. She's actually cute as shit., but that's a Spanish. There was a black woman. There she is. She's back. There's the thing. There's the thing you call first of. She's actually cute as shit. Listen, here's a deal. That's a Francesca Ramsey, right? I just don't fucking get it.

What is it? It's a similar style video where this other personality critiques. Why do you need me? The problem with this video is that you were talking about the premise of it The premise of it the premise of it is to talk down to white men It's it went white men are an easy target and like

But if this was an if this was an individual person or groups or a bunch of comics that put it to get okay fine You know I'm okay. This is MTV. This is via calm. Yeah, this is the motherfuckers that make people go on apology tours. Yeah Wow, this is your fucking boss. I don't know if you've ever when you go I mean look when you explain yourself when you're doing when you're doing your show There's a lot of shit you can't say correct. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that you what what because because When I was with my white co-host they let a lot of shit fly because When I was with my white co-hosts, they let a lot of shit fly. Why do you? Because, no, I was the man.

I was like, I'm the white co-hosts. I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was the man, I was dogging him so and then he you know he played off and dog me back so therefore You know this shit we didn't do now. We didn't do that. It wasn't pink and and teal It was kind of I look at I understand and here's the thing with me and you going back to me in your first second. Yes, baby Yes Everything's resolved. Yeah, no look at I Marina's one of my great friends. I love Marina and I'll fucking argue with you all day and if you're wrong If you're wrong if you're wrong, you're fucking wrong I don't give a fuck we can do walk out who cares we'll make up 10 10 days later

I don't give a shit about that but I think I Was a little heated and I was and I think you're right is that what happens with these things is that? You get fucking angry. Yes. And then all of a sudden, when you, and then all of a sudden, it's back and forth and it's like, fuck you when it shouldn't be.

I don't wanna be that way, but you made sense with the, if they, funny wins all the time. If this was funny, if I could have laughed one time at this fucking video, I would have been fine with it Those are like the people who blog who decide to put together. This is a thing is like These conversations are so fueled by anger that no one listens anymore and they're just defensive

That's it. I think I watched you know why I watch I watch white guys watch this video on YouTube Yeah, and they're fucking angry. Sure. Like me. If you watch a black guy watch these videos, like I'm talking like a black dude, not this kitten wearing mother fucker. Not all of them. They, they, they, they literally fucking laughing the whole time.

Yeah. They're just cracking up. They're like, who's this mother fucker? They're like, it's so bad. It's so bad. Well, it was kind of, it kind of says something to me too, where it's like, why the fuck am I uptight about this? When it is just a bunch of idiots doing this.

But what makes me taboo in society now is politics. But what makes me mad is fucking Viacom, the ones that fought for gays and blacks and minorities, right? For some reason aren't, what the fuck, white people less than? What are we less than? Evil. What are we fucking?

You're done, it's your last day. It's your last hurrah. I'll tell you right now. It's over. It's your last hurrah. But here's a scary part for you guys. I think you're wrong. I think it's that you guys, I think it's the Trump one because of this shit. Yeah, but we don't know how long that's going to continue. Listen, the result. Listen, the reason why this, how did this,

this, if that was the case, if you're right about that, which maybe five months ago, I would have been like, yeah, we're done with Flake, who's finished? How did this turn on MTV? How did the people who believe this didn't come, those people were like, you know what, you fuck you, you're right. You're right, this is fucked up.

They took it down twice. Yeah, that's the problem. The problem is they took it down, they backed off of the problem. The problem is they took it down, they backed off of it twice. The problem is they made it. This is the mission that exists. But the fact that they took it down, you're right, is a very big problem.

It's a bit of a problem. It's a very, it's like, who says, take it down. When a company like Viag, when you, when the fucking whoever they are, who turned on this, made them back down and take it down. Where the fuck are you? It's a trending type of video.

These are types of videos. What white girls say? What black guys say? These are types of videos. And let me finish. MTV was so lazy. You can tell she's got her own podcast. Let me finish.

No, because they, I just want to point this out. This is really important. They were so lazy. I do it though. The hand things bugging me though. They were so Cream up your hand. Cream puts some cream on. They were so lazy That get that just finger on fire with this finger is the point I'm gonna make to actually like that one That's why I said that one is that if they didn't follow trends and if they just Based it on quality and doing putting out something

that was actually good, this would never have happened. But they were trying to be slick and lazy and fast. They shouldn't leave the writer's room or whatever, it's just a poor idea. There was no writer's room. There was no writer's room. There was no writer's room. There was a half-fast attempt.

Yeah, there was no one. This guy's ideas behind his eyes. It was like some girl. He's not like, you know what I mean? I'm not like, really? Really good. It was like, let me just I mean? I got that via. Really good. It's like, let me just put like a little like piece together about like, you know, like

what white men shouldn't do in 2017. I think that would be like, can I wear my kids sweater? Yeah. Let's make it very diverse. That's why girl produced right there. I think that would be a bit of a business. I don't think so. It's definitely a bit more.

I don't think so. I think it's Hillary Bowen. Let's take a bet. Let's take a bet right now. I'm telling you right now It's aggressive white first of all. I'll tell you what I guarantee there's a white black chick involved in this Which is the scariest black chick on the planet? What's a white black chick a white black girl? Oh, you're not white black I don't know why you're not white

That's what I call I No, you're not white, but I lost it. That's what I call I I lost it What's a white black chick club? Oh my god. How are you? You still funny? Scary girls that have been chilling a white woman in whole life I Rubber White women my whole life The chick bro, that's what I call

I can show you pictures You just fucking you you you stared me down without blingin sexy mean you just gonna find you and I will fucking your hands I hung out with white girls, okay? I used to feather my fro Oh, for real what does that mean like fair faucet feather I used to Did you find out who produced it? No, I couldn't find out. All right. Here's the deal. I definitely somebody white ish was involved in producing this but here's the problem to them. They didn't even have a fucking one funny comic like

They were doing really comics. They would have had to pay somebody for actual like quality content. Oh shit I think they did use people who actually work there. Yeah, that's what they did. That looks like the people who go, oh, I could be funnier at this. Yeah, but this guy, I didn't stay. I'm talking about you, Fox News. That was, but I've done a lot of MTV stuff,

or VH1s, which is, they just let you go off. They give you a talk. I know the dude. I worked with him on a sketch show before. Yeah, but I remember when I did it one time, I did it three times, the talking head shit. And then I remember the makeup guy was doing, the makeup guy was getting me in Malna.

The next time I said, I want some money to do this, they were like, go fuck yourself. You know who was doing it? My makeup guy. The guy who made my makeup was one of the talking heads. Yeah, because they all think they know. But he was fine. Whatever the fuck he was like, you know, go girl, just because you pour syrup on it, don't

make it pancake. You know, all right, I got it. He earned his money. He didn't get paid. No, he had to do makeup and then do this. Oh, wow. I listen, but it. Sorry. No, please had to do makeup and then do this. Oh wow. I listen, but it. Sorry.

No, please don't get. I was trying to. Do what? Make sure. What, I'm calm down. Oh my god, what does. I'm feeling more of her body. I told you.

What did you tell me? We're in a stop and traffic. Look. Uh oh. Look. How could you argue with that? I'm here. I'm here.

I'm here. I'm Robert. Do more white girl. I'm being the girl on the show. Can we all, can we all, can we, can we be the people on the show? Yeah. I'll be, all right, I'm going to be the chubby Mexican. Okay. You're going to be the black girl with the glasses, the white black girl. Okay.

You're going to be the black dude, of course. Yeah. Right? You're going to be the, I think I know my gank bump. Oh, Indian guy, terrorists. Was there an Indian guy? But I'll be the gay guy. Oh no, you should be the gay guy.

Because you're very close. And who am I? You're the first girl. White black girl. The white black girl? No, no. I think, yeah, you're the first girl. You're the white black girl.

You're the black dude. You're the gay guy. You're the Indian guy. Okay. Okay. I'm the white black girl that wants to be sexual dude, you're the gay guy, you're the Indian guy. Okay. Okay. I'm the white black girl that once be sexualized. Yeah. Can I be sexualized?

You like that? I don't like that. You're actually, are you all right? Are you cold? You're okay. You're all right. My shoulders are cold. What?

Where is that fucking zoom in? Eight. Eight. Oh my god. That's how much it showed us. Okay. Are you ready, Bobby? Call that shit.

I'm, hang on. What are you doing? And no, I'm not zooming in. What the fuck, man? Oh, they're hard, sorry. Headlights, headlights is on. Hmm. I shouldn't be doing it.

I know how to shut them up, everyone. Yeah, just get fucking real ghetto. That's not ghetto? That's not ghetto, I'm not doing it. No, before, earlier. Oh, oh. ghetto. That's not ghetto? That's not ghetto, I'm just kidding. No, before, earlier. Oh, oh. No. That just got-

No, that's not, that's not the green it just getting real. You understand how many people, here's a deal though. We're getting real. Where's a deal? Yeah, people are gonna be fucking dude, fuck her, and then to you they're gonna be like, fuck him. We literally, through divide, we just divided my audience.

It's gonna divide up into that's how fucking what pieces they're not even gonna see the outcome of all right two people at a fight they argued blah blah blah they work through it now we're on the same they're not gonna see that they're gonna be like fuck as soon as I go fucking show and you go nah nah nah and then you and your hands you're gonna get people I'm gonna get dude she was and your hands, you're gonna get people, I'm gonna get, dude, she was a fucking idiot. And you're gonna get, fuck him and I'm gonna listen to the girls of friends. What's the show called?

I'm not saying on the show. It's called Friends Eat Shit. That's what it's called. Friends who eat shit and die. You should say it on the show. The show fucking started your fucking channel. I really wanna do this. actually got damn ready to do what's that I want to do this I ready here we go You ready yeah, yeah, do you want like music or something? I got

Oh Hey guys, you just need to know that black lives matter and white lives don't so get over it No, you're the black hole at the beginning. Oh, I did Here's here's your note America was never that good. Okay yours is the rape the the Supreme course justice and covering up sexual, and yours is Black Lives Matter. Yours is the Fox News, and the, what was the other one? Come on, son. He was corny, I couldn't say. He was the answer.

And you are whatever the fuck you are. I'll wing it now. All right, wing it. All right, ready? Go. Hey, guys, you guys need to remember that America was never great for anybody besides white guys because they're evil Yeah, hey Supreme Court Why don't you stay out of our bathrooms and our lives just cuz we have sex

Doesn't mean that we can't get married and it's not by God, because God's in all of us except white people. And Black Lives really does matter, just because we say that Black Lives matter doesn't mean yours doesn't, it just means ours does. And man, yeah, Beyonce might be Black, we love her because she because she black and she's not no thug, right? Everybody's a thug. Ain't that right, Fox News. Crackers be crazy. Whatever happened to Brown Lives Matter, you know? You know, when I go to the airport,

I have to wait like three days to get on the flight. It's bullshit. Pfft. Nobody said, they said don't do your bit dude Listen let me say something right now. That was just as that's probably what happened Yeah, we nailed it. We did the bad acting and I God that was so good. What are you showing? I'm feeling the cut in my arm. What cut? Well, you put them in your mouth. I'm just going from working out.

I didn't know I had that. Listen, let's say something. Pretend your, the same rule for your iPhone goes for your muscles. All right. Because this is what you cause, see? It's just more than your. It's just cold. It's a group of people.

Shatroom loves your shoulders, Marina. So, what's in the chat? What something says, your rendition was actually pretty good. They liked our version of the. Our version was very good. Yeah, that's pretty good. All right, guys, listen, that's the same thing as the headphone.

Okay, I mean, the tilt, the ear, the iPhones. No, you can stop it. Will you please just put your shirt back on? Or stop flexing? I don't need this. What are the other? I say you leave it off. Why does Marina get to do it?

Because Marina's black. You're black. You didn't tell to do it because marine is black? You didn't tell me if it might shirt back on you. I mean, put mine down. No, no, no, no, no, I want yours off. This is what you get to why you get America. You get too hot. You get too hot and bothered. I don't want to upset.

No, put it back on you upset me. So there's another clip that I think we should look at. Let's go. What do we got similar from MTV You know another personality alright Francesca day Yeah, ready to go Is she making that noise? Here are five things everyone should understand about racism

Talking about racism is so exhausting. It's like no matter what I do or what I say, someone's gonna call me a racist. Good people can unintentionally say and do racist things. Racism isn't just burning crosses and racial slurs. It's not always a conscious hatred or dislike. People automatically associate saying something racist with being a bad person. And while we can agree that being racist is bad, good people can say racist things, or just wind up supporting racist institutions and practices without even realizing it. Of course, Chick-fil-A!

So, now it's my fault if I accidentally do some... What's this trend? We're not playing the blame. But accidents can still be hurtful. It's important to remember that intent isn't the issue. It's the impact. Like if I accidentally step on your toe. It's an accident, but it still hurts. And I can't just pretend that I didn't step on your foot.

I have to acknowledge it, say that I'm sorry, and be more careful with my big ass feet. If you want to get technical, there's really no such thing as race. We are all the human race. I like this. It's a social construct. Race is a social construct, all the human race. It's a social construct. Race is a social construct, but that doesn't mean racism isn't real. A social construct is a category. I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw up.

I'm not throwing up. Look, I believe we're all the same, right? Can I say something? Yeah. I'll allow it. Now, you guys don't get mad at me. I'm kidding. Again, it's just not funny.

I have an opportunity now living up in Westchester to... I have more white people. Well actually my school district for my kid is 20% white. The rest is minority. And how long before you get out of there? Now every other school district around me is 99% white or 90% white, 10% minority. So you're going to move. We're leaving.

No. No. But I'm really, I'm in a fucking pickle. Because it's not about the mind. I don't care about the minority. I actually think the problem, you just start caring about the minority. I don't.

I can't. Let me say that again. That's what it was. That was really good. I don't care about. I don't care about. Good one. I see you.

Hey, bow. I'm swimming in Shelbet Good one, I see you. Hey Bo, I'm going to Michelle Patel. Sorry. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I didn't see, I didn't black, I didn't see, I don't know, she was just hot, she's cute as shit. That's why I like those black girls that are like fucking Tootsie tribe, the long ones. With those hot butt, I like that good. You know, you're like,

Marino, I have a hot, long one. I'm the one who used to say, I had that, I don't have it. You don't have a big butt. I don't have the Tootsie tribe. You have a little butt. You know what the long legs and the butt is just for standing play, I don't have a big butt. I don't have the tutsi try You have a little butt. You know what the long legs and the butt is just outstanding. I don't Tutsi

I like an Afro too. I love just I mean that I mean that's one of the Afro would know that I don't like a fat ass Some place around the neck some porcelain I like big titties, but I don't like a fat ass. I like it. I like a small butt Bobby Bobby talks about black people like a Leonardo DiCaprio and Django and Jane like they have the little Indentation in the in the skull shows how they they're less intelligent than we are you know what I mean? No, I'm not helping you with that This one's good for. I know where you're going down, Polago. Django, it's good for tamteons. He just wanted to make a reference.

Django, yeah. This one's built real strong. Never gonna fail you. My point is this is that the school, I don't care about who's in it. Fine, be around Spanish kids be around black kids in Indian kids you're gonna be around them anyways at some point so I think it's more shocking to a kid to someday be in New York City and all of a sudden there's all these minorities and you're

like what are those smells what is this food no food? No, seriously, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. That's not saying that. I was a school with a lot of Indian kids. Yeah, look man, is different smells, there's different hair products, there's different foods, there's different clothes. There's a lot of stuff that you're like, what the fuck? When you're dealing with just white girls your whole life

or white people, that's a different fucking thing. And I would, it's like, I don't care. I just my the school to be good. I want the teachers to be good. The school's still good It's well, that's the problem is I'm talking to all these people and the like the kids are there The superintendent's supposed to be better the teacher the principal's supposed to be good But it's not it's not these other schools nine out of 10 ten out of 10s. Yeah, this school six out of 10 Why do you think that is? Well, there's a couple different. Uh, it could be.

Resources are pulled out. What's that? Resources start getting pulled. No, it's not the re, it could be, it could be a kid, an Indian kid, who's smart as help, but doesn't speak English as good as, uh, the rest of the kids as well as, exactly as, as well as the Jewish kid right here. But seriously and his test scores could be a little lower because of that that brings the testing down. It could. I've never known that to happen with Indian kids. Really? I just gave an example. I'm just giving you a example. That's not a fact.

But I'm just saying it could be that. It could be a Spanish kid who's smart, but as his English isn't good yet, or isn't well, whatever the fuck you know what I'm saying? It could be a bunch of different things. It's not just teachers, the kids suck. Now in the superintendent, they're like, if any kid causes trouble, they get kicked to fuck out. That's it, fuck you.

You get a couple of, they get three chances and then you're gone into this other school. That school. I talk to a couple of cops, they and then you're gone into this other school, that school. I talk to a couple of the cops, they're like, we show up every morning. The principal's outside every day. We walk the kids to class. We make sure they know we're there for them.

We talk to the kids, we know their parents. I'm like, so here's a situation and jump in whatever you want. You got these other schools, the white schools, heroin, Molly, all these other drugs. Those are the names of the kids. Okay, I'm sorry. All these, are you too for kids? I'm gonna have to give you this.

Thank you, thank you. Uh huh. There's drugs everywhere. There's no drugs in these schools. Because the kids don't have the money to afford, they can't afford them, but these teachers are in there now, and the schools are actually, the community of it, they care.

It's like this little, they really give a shit about each other, and about the school, and about the kids. So it's starting to make this rise, where it's not gonna be the best school. It's almost like, you know, a Morgan Friedman film about to happen. It's very sad.

Yeah, something, you know what I mean? So I don't know, do I love my house? Do I move or do I send, do I lean on me? Do I fucking send my kid to this school that's free right up the street with minorities when he's gonna be the minority? Yeah. Yeah, you do.

If the school is good. We said it's not as good. It's not as good. Bobby, I'm thinking this now. Okay, I, you do. If the school is good, we say it's good. It's not as good. It's not as good. Look, Bobby, I'm thinking this now, okay, I don't know. I just start, we start to try to have a kid, me and my wife now. So we start to think about this stuff, and you're just having me.

Robert just got sad, I see it. No. No. No. No. When they come out, his eyes would dead for it. I love it. I just bitch.

But I'm starting to have these thoughts now where I never did your steroids sperm I got a level of Like fucking breakfast Treatment Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we would send our kid to like the public school around the neighborhood because I think that most of you live in Manhattan. We live in a story. I mean, but I think most of the problems that I see are like entitled white. I saw these guys stop convertible BMW last night that were clearly all fucking whacked out on Coke driving back to Long Island.

These guys are the white kids that these M2U was talking about. They're the ones who fucked it up for me. Yeah, they're the ones who fucked it up for me. the other ones who fucked it up for me they're the ones who produced it to 90% white people work at Viacom boom well they have a story and we got let that sink in I'd work there it's very

massive I'm telling you you know it's I don't know what's very they have this story actually in the reverse about a black woman whose school was all black doing very well and they are forced to integrate the school and she doesn't want it and she's she doesn't want it and she's saying that she wants she's battling trying to figure out for her is she using her child to prove a point so she wants white people what what? She wants no white people. No white people. The school was all black, but they're redistricting, and now there are white kids coming in.

The school was doing fine before, and now she's upset because now that they're bringing in white kids, it's going to eventually be majority white school. That's what happens. The gender-friendly school. And so, because there's more white people than there are black people. Which is true.

Is that why I'm asking? Wait, what's your question? Is it gonna be more white people in the school because there's just mathematically more white kids than there are black kids? No, it's where they zoning and... So there's more black people in that neighborhood in that zone than there is white kids Yes, and so what they're trying to do is they're trying to combat they're trying to

Integrate the schools right and they know that it's now a good school So her argument was oh, so now it's a good school now you want to bring your white kids into our school She has a problem with that so she's like when she initially put her daughter in that school because it was a black school and it was doing okay. She fought for that. She felt bad about it because she was like I am fighting I am using my child as an experiment to find out if the school's school did get better. So she felt good about it.

Now what's happening is they're rezoning and and now white kids are coming in and she's upset. So the problem really is what and I hear her on this and I hear you on this is do you use your child as an experiment for what? I'm going to say I'm going to say two things. Number one, your shoulders do look nice. Thank you. Are my nipples hard as well?

I'm not looking at this. But no, they're not. Continue. But two, I don't, I, because of my fucked up childhood, I really don't want to make the mistake with my kid that my parents did with me, which is move me around school to school to school to school to school. I have the same thing. I do not want to do that to my son. The only thing I want to do at my son

is give him the ability to go from this grade to this grade with the same kids. So that whether they're black, Spanish, Indian, white, whatever, that those are his friends. But here's the thing too though if he has all bl- he say he has a bunch of Spanish friends and black friends We're gonna start having black Play dates at my house. Yeah, you're gonna have to start making greens like Listen, Brad. Yeah, you think it's a fucking joke, but what the black play date?

You're gonna have if we have if say hopscotch What the black playday? You're gonna have, if we have, if say, popscoch. You're gonna have to have some, some hair cream. I'm gonna have to get some jump ropes. No, do that stupid video. I guarantee we would have made it funny Viral I but I am if I have and look at we I told my wife you got to start getting played it He goes to school right now at this little like Hogwarts type of preschool and

You know it's expensive we pay. It's behind the house. It's really cool, but next year We have to make that decision the year year, we have to make that decision, the year after actually, we have to make that decision. Where the fuck is he going? And if his friend is fucking Juan, and you know, Michael, a black kid, and their parents come over, you're gonna have a black kid,

or my, you know, we're gonna have a bunch. Oh, why my bird might you know, you know a bunch of We don't have black friends right now. Yeah, I have a guy at the end of the street Is a black dude I go I I love my lot. He's really smart guy very highly intelligent guy rare Here's So well ready to your MTA ready these are the black guys I know. We'll still fence Keith Robinson. Both really. Both really. Well, no. Stop yourself.

Yeah, stop yourself. Keep that thing where it is. But no, it's, you know, they say statistically, even white kids lose out when the school is not diverse. Like, intelligent, like, score wise, and everything, it's better if they have more diversity when the school is not diverse like intelligent like score wise and everything it's better if they have more diversity in the school well if i like this guy don't have to read i've i've sat down with him and he said the most amazing things to me not because he's

a black guy he's just to do it at the other street that sits out front one and he's fought he's a black dude at the other street we have a lesbian couple we have a lesbian couple across the street uh... we have uh... of course Italian Irish people We have a lesbian couple. We have a lesbian couple across the street. We have, of course, Italian Irish people. We have, you know, the other end of the street, there's a gay couple, dudes. So my neighborhood is, actually my street is pretty diverse as far as that street goes for the last 60 years.

It was just, you know, now it's really gays and blacks and the Spanish. So I'm actually excited about that. And I love that they come over. But we have black friends. If Max makes black friends and Spanish friends, we're going to have Spanish people over, black people over, and we're going to have to learn, I'm going to have to learn to lock the door. I was waiting for somebody to learn to lock the door hide the jewelry we have a caller if you want to take one is he black we can ask him i can't

get a terrible he's gonna be like hell no hello caller you're on the yk wd whats up i was up to is that what you guys may to talk about it was fucking the it's like white people have a man right but like niggas is mad to the black guy no i know no shit

really hell mad and the n-word that that that that that that that that that i know you guys have that that that that that they're taking away your white but like when you're in that way like it makes everything weird for us to listen. I don't think I don't listen I'm gonna say that what are you talking about? I know what he's talking about. What is he talking about? He's trying to say your Ducky everything up. He's trying to say you know you sweetie. You're fine Why did you lie? She's got those she got white again

You sound like an English teacher you're fine. Why did you lie? She's got the white again. You sound like an English teacher. What I was basically talking about is everyone. Everyone is just angry. So there's no dialogue. Well, that's what I like you got upset about the video. And then and then there's just anger. I didn't get upset about the video. No, no, I'm just saying. I'm not bad. Listen, like you guys lose your white swag so fast. Like you guys I'm not bad but listen right you guys lose your white swag so fast like you guys just oh my god what's your name?

Paula what's your name? My name is Jordan man. All right listen Jordan. If you if you listen to what I said when white guys watch this video they get pissed when black guys watch this video They laugh right and I'm not talking black. I'm not talking black. I'm not talking black guys that I'm talking black guys that Disagree with the video that a for the white guy I'm watching this going what the fuck? So I Believe me there's black people who watch that horse shit. We be like come on man This is like we see the bullshit to like believe me there's black people watch their horses you'd be like come on man this is like we see the bullshit to like we watch it yeah yeah and he's ultra liberal fucking like we do like you know this is gonna make

white people so if I were trying to bridge the gap yeah I think black people have right people are fucking it up I'm telling you man it ain't so stop looking at like my I'm what a Proper Ultra liberals right not all white people Some fucking oh Right can I say something I want I want to really set the record trade with Marina. I wasn't mad. I wasn't mad at this video as my I was mad at you. I miss on her misunderstood her point of view. I thought you would just trying to be funny and blow it off as the product, the lights were weird. You understand? That's why I was like fuck you, Marina.

That's why I was mad at you because I was like, that's bullshit. I got mad at you for that. But when you were like, oh, when I saw there was something actually behind what you were saying, I misunderstood you. That's why I backed off and was like, okay, I get what you're saying. No, I'm sorry, though, because she's not a sexy,

but I got this thing in me too. Like if I hear a woman's voice too much it does make me mad This would be a great relationship Maybe I'm a funky You made a great point make me mad. Oh my god. That's hilarious. I know she's telling intelligence, but that's why he's telling the town. Yeah, but those booms get in the way, right? Hell intelligence. George. When she's telling the fact, you know, I'm sorry. I'm

thinking. I think I think it's smart to listen to it, okay? buddy. Are you out of your mind? I feel like it is a compliment. And then yeah, there's an answer. You're saying, you're saying like the the the the tone of my voice is it's I feel like it is a compliment. Yeah, there's an answer. You're saying the tone of my voice is hard to listen to in an article. Yeah, but when I listen to what you say, you're saying some shit. But when I hear it, I feel like, yeah. Listen, yeah.

You got to talk to me, you know, y'all cool it all. We're on your side Bob like my no Buddy I know that I agree with you I think that I said that's why I said that I think black guys black people have probably the best sense of humor out of everybody right now because They're watching shit going what the fuck is that and they're seeing all this bullshit and and and and it seems to me that we're getting mad you know liberals are getting mad that's why when you sit there

I have a temper but you know I have a temper and I start my When you talk he's hit he's actually making a point when you you start talking. I just get fucking Oh, yeah, I love you back when I make my point like It's really the I I'm like I started talking to you like all right goodbye Yeah, good cuz he was getting mad at you That's insane that most guys are like that they hear us talk No, he's kidding you know he's got to be a little serious

Well, we always totally Yeah, there's always a little bit of real yeah Captain a hundred Wow When I've argued should I go in my low register? There's a hint of success. There's always sense of it. There's a little bit of real. He kept it 100. Wow. When I've argued, should I go in my low register? No. Why are your nipples getting hard now? What could possibly be turning you on?

Something about a guy not liking something. What I'm saying, I think that, and I'm probably get shit for this. I really believe that right now. I watch this and I got, I think it mad, I told you, I got mad at the fact that it was like, they deleted it. They made something that, what they didn't say fuck, we fuck, all that to do is look, we're trying to be funny, we fucked up. No apologies. And, believe it up, take the hit.

Oh, I suck my roast battle. I listen up, that I said I say I do agree Martin took a tweet down because people got pissed off It's Steve Martin for tweeting about Carrie Fisher because he called her beautiful and they said that's objectifying her He took his tweet down today. Are you serious? With a bill she was beautiful. Yeah, what was the tweet that he said specifically? Mark Hamilton I see worse but I saw worse me. Mark what's that? I saw worse means about Carrie Fisher online. It was one. It was a comic who said this shit.

He was like Carrie Fisher dies of 60, but she was unfuckable at 26. I was like, God damn. That's cold. Not like that. Yeah, but you shouldn't be, you shouldn't have to take that down. You should just have to deal with it.

Yeah, but he didn't take it down. That's what I'm saying. What Steve Martin did, you calling somebody, you can't say somebody's beautiful now Is that is that real marina? Deeper what is it? What was the exact line?

Alright so Steve Martin's exact tweet was how much as her vagina was beautiful I used to snowball carry fishes yeah I was Yeah, her pussy was beautiful Yeah, my question question or IP. So he says when I was a young man, Carrie Fisher was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Past creature. She turned out to be witty and bright as well. Turned out to be. Now that's that's that's kind of we that creature turned out to be

comics still. So do you not have like a Jordan's about Miranda on the phone. She's really smart. She's beautiful. Smart. When you talk. Oh no. And look how it's turned out to be cool. I think, I love that the whitest guy in the room was like, he's black, like we didn't know.

Yeah, I believe that's an Afro-American on there, Bobby. No. No. This is utilization and knowledge of Quest Love's music has led me to believe. This is where we are. It's awful that they attacked him because it's just ridiculous.

I thought it was nice. You're reading it, they're reading into everything. You know the color if you want to take it. Well, it's like, we can think of the car, hang on to it. Yo, it's Jordan. It's like this.

I bet this is the opposite side, but it's like this. If you're gonna say something and ignore apologies, yeah, you can say something and fuck up in a apologize. It's fine. Is that a fuck up? Is here's a fuck up? If he thought it was a fuck up, then there you go. But he if he thought it was funny, look, some comics go fuck you, leave it up. Sorry. What's up? All right, go ahead. Go to the call. Hello caller. What's up, man? You're on the show. What's up man you're on the show what's up

you're on yk wd what's happening oh my god i didn't even need to call this i think well no i did but i didn't think what's the fucking answer? why would we answer? why would i spend fucking the money on getting the number and all this shit for you not to... well I know what you are

I was jerking off and now it came back to it and this motherfucker I dialed the number and now it's off. Can you do it? Can you do it? Probably makes under $80,000 a year I can tell by his voice and the utilization of the words Hey, king. Oh, can you do me a favor real quick sir? Can you to your truck horn? That would I tell them? Yep, no, nothing your voice crack. I think you're 18 and your mom's coming off. Oh fucking Debbie Reynolds is gonna die too

By the way, she was just rushing off Yeah, oh How are you the mother? Well, that's not very nice. No. All right. What's up, buddy? What do you have a question? Mother What's the name of your acoustic band? Hey, how many harmonica's do you on I do live in Seattle, but i probably should have an acoustic band what is your name buddy? Tony

what do you do for work my friend? wow for a large tech company oh apple! Amazon! it's got an Apple. Google. Well, listen, we don't. To relax. Is it, does it rhyme with Google? No, Microsoft. Microsoft.

Oh, Microsoft. Come on. See, I don't know. I'm an Apple guy. I don't fuck with Microsoft. Even though the new tablet that's coming out. It's not cool the other day. What's that?

You were talking shit on Apple the other day. Well other day well look i think i'm gonna switch over to microsoft just to switch topics here because i had the new uh... the new what's that new fucking tablet that's coming out surface the surface but what is that the surface now for a while service four no the the the big one desktop touch the desktop touch screen always a call you know What do you do?

What do you fucking drive the truck that delivers the one that cares the best by? What do you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. The fuck, the new one that's coming out that they made a fucking crazy apple commercial for. What do you do? There's no way you're in tech.

There's no way that you are fucking coming up with anything. There's no way. There's no way you're in tech. There's no way that you are fucking coming up with anything. There's no way. There's no way. What do you do? You drive a truck for the company, right? No. You realize how big this company is. I do. I actually do. I have a material. I have a station. What do you do for the company? I don't want to get into specifics because there might be people listening. No, listen, nobody is listening. It doesn't like it's the NSA. No one who works at Microsoft.

Actually, be careful. I only have Apple fans. I only have geniuses working. I only have geniuses working. Not to get into anything specific, but I am a vendor for the company and I work in protecting their assets. Okay. Here's a deal. Oh gee. What are you fucking you murder people? It's great Donovan Listen, here's a deal. I'm gonna tell you right now If you go to an Apple store Okay, and they usually underneath or across the way as a Microsoft store now

Microsoft across the way as a Microsoft store now. Right. Microsoft has so much more innovated shit, innovated shit up there. So much more, they have VR that you can put on. They have the Xbox, they have the actual, what's the connect? That you can, you know, it knows your body and knows your face, you can walk in and play a game with no remote control control They have the tablets

There's so much more shit. There's so much more design so much more going into Microsoft There what apple was 10 15 years ago Apple is literally they put out a fucking watch a Fucking watch the second one that they fight they made the second one watch, a fucking watch, the second one, that they made the second one waterproof when they could have made the first one waterproof or resistant. Now, they have a camera, a fucking band, you have to buy for the camera to put the watch in.

But it's from a second, some other company was like, oh, this should be a camera on the fucking I watch because every other fucking Microsoft Samsung watch has a camera on it but the stupid iPhone one so they built you have to pay another 200 dollars to get a band to get a fucking camera to do FaceTime on your watch you should be able to FaceTime what are you to not have your phone in your hand instead of a watch buddy here's a thing sometimes I have a fucking iPhone 7 fucking plus that weighs around 800 pounds So why do you need a lot of stew?

You cock sucker, I'm defending your shit company, you're a fucking virus ridden shit company, you're a fucking extl, fucking shit, whatever the fucking shit company you work for, you're fucking stupid fucking mall computer, crap fucking shit Xbox, fucked up, for you're fucking stupid fucking mall computer crap fucking shit Xbox Fucked up fuck you fucking shut down any points that I go to if fucking rules the whole fucking thing company you work for you All right, so fucking shut your mouth. Yeah Damn right. Yeah be quiet right yeah be quiet I'm sorry I'm sorry guys this is a crazy show this has been a crazy show

crazy show hey man do you have a girlfriend no he broke up a little bit ago what would you fucking get a job at apple let me ask you this what do you think of marina's voice I haven't been listening too much job at apple let me ask you this what do you think of marina's voice uh... i haven't been listening to much because you said you called off you've been jerking off why did you call this number why you jerking off

and that you're in the chat and you're jerking off okay listen buddy why were you jerking off and what were you jerking off to? Here he is. It's your good today. Microsoft's numbers on the dial. This Nasdaq is crushing my nuts, bro. I want to know what you were jerking off to. I don't think you want to know.

No, I do. No, no, no, no. My mom's old shoes. What happened? I love that it was an object, not a movie. Old shoes. How did you get it? I feel like Marina looks like she's weak. Like we've drained her.

I worked out and I didn't eat. Oh, you want some food? I'm fine. Oh, I'm sure this guy has a protein bar in his back. What are you doing? Please stop. What? I want to know what you're jerking. You're gonna work out. You know, what are you? Excuse me, sir. What were you jerking off to? I don't want to let me send the link in the goddamn chat. We don't need just verbalized it. We're not gonna play it yeah use it use

that guess use words and fucking punctuation you fucking dumb truck driver yeah it's a busier I stole from Walmart what the fuck were you jerking off to what was it some old Kleenex I found in the car what were you jerking off to what type of horn feet was it feet what was it but I can't eat this book I can't eat what was it got already was it Asian knowledge was it was cuckled okay no it was unwanted come shops on what what is that what the fuck is that? What the fuck is that? No!

Oh my god! My literally, my dick just got hot. This is why I could dig jump. Like I was going to say. I don't think this is why fucking porn is amazing to you now. Because it's like a game, it's like a puzzle. Like the other day I was trying to think of words that I never typed in the search and I always had to put kidnapped and a whole new Fucking thing. We a world was open up to me now unwanted

Comshots so it's a drive this Jeff. Those are girls getting upset. What does it Marina says? It's girls that I'm like no don't like that just ruining a woman's day Or you just like, you jack off till you're about to not and then you just run up behind her at the mall. It's not crazy at all. What? What was that Marina?

What did you say? It was an accidental like in the ar�ol. That's the face you make when you, and what do you do with it after? I got to spit it out. Where? Back at his face. Oh. You know, I had a girl. I had to spit it out. Where? Back out of his face.

You know, I had a girl at a point. I had a girl actually blow me and she swallowed it. No, it's like, oh my God, then she spit right before she blew me. I made us both cappuccinos. And she spit it in my cappuccino. Yeah. In mind, like the one I drank, she spit it and then it turned to egg because the heat turned to egg yeah turns like you know jizz turns to egg like a poached egg it coagulates yeah thanks eggs better deck than you go to that fucking school my kids are gonna go to the my I want to I want to mix actually I'll take a bit ball blacks and juice oh really

school it all black and let me ask, sir. What nationality are you? What were AC? You white of course, but are you Italian Irish? What? You have to tell him why because you're fucking you're parliament 100 voice Fucking your Bud Light 19 Bud Light voice that you have and how can you tell them white and the fact that we start we startled you while you were jerking off I work for Microsoft, but I'd rather not say I work for Microsoft, but I don't know how to turn my phone on So it's a we know know your white, right? If you give me fire, I'm going to be upset. You want my wires?

You're not going to get fired. Nobody knows. Nobody knows you. You don't even know who you are. Yeah, they said, don't say your name. We just want to know what are you white, but are you Italian, Irish, what are you? I'm a Italian, Irish, German.

German. All the great combinations of white. Yeah. ye i'm up the cation iris german german ooooooo all the great combinations of white yeah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Whatever you do I want to tell them congrats to the Seattle Sounders. They won the championship the what the Seattle Sounders They won the Emma little fuckers that the no my last team the soccer team listen if you bring up the fucking dumb soccer I know I know you're gonna bring it up. Yeah, I figured this cock suck a love It should be a friend like that of your son like a soccer kid good. Yeah What what national American? I'm your Dominican. Yeah, so a Dominican kid like him. Yeah. That's a good question. Oh, go. What national are you Dominican? You're Dominican.

So a Dominican kid like him that plays soccer and is a nerd. Wonderful. Yeah. What a great. So good for your kids IQ. What a Dominican kid. Your parents still live. They both alive.

They're still together. Yeah, they hate each other, but they're alive. Yeah, it's great. What are the come shots like now? I'm curious. I'm curious. Let's put it back around full circle. More importantly, sir.

What are the com shots like? Are they surprised what happens? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's not rapey. It's just kind of funny. A girl will be sucking someone's dick and then he won't cover or something like that and then it'll get in her air

and she'll get mad and it's pretty awesome. Can I ask a question? Sounds great. This is for black girls. You don't have a wig, but some lot of black girls have wigs. Now if you come in a wig, you're in trouble. I'm a son. Yeah, you dry cleaning bill. What?

It's been a house of cool shit. What the fuck did you just say? That is dry cleaning bill. You're not doing a breach of fire in an Asian lady. How much do you get my wig clean? We don't do. We don't do. We just use common hair. It's hair. It's hair. It's hair. It's hair. It's hair. It's hair. It's hair. It's hair. Just take it. It's washing No move no more. It's no good. I'm gonna make cream that wig. It's too hot. Too hot. Too stiff. You have to cut you make bangs.

Put a peanut butter in the rubber peanut butter on the head. You're guessing on TV. You'll get the... You're a guy coming here, yeah? I see it on TV you'll get You have guy coming hell yeah, yeah, what a judge. Yeah, this is possibly But you I mean if you if you I did a girl this work for him Huh really this come shot. I want to see it now. I have it. I barely watch for anymore We can't bring it up. I'm not bring it up. Yeah, I don't want to see you fucking you dick that can't get hard anymore It gets hard now. Yeah, my honeymoon was hard all the time. It takes a long time though. No, not on the honey Really honey. I pulled my dick out. It was hard. No shit. Yeah, no stress here. I gotta I gotta eat my wife out for a bit to get hard Jesus really yeah, I'm a woman. My my my my my

I don't know What do you are come kill is your bedroom on the street Yeah, do you have a train like Dan Soder? You gonna see him the subway. What the hell? I got a I got a warm it up. I What's going through my mind like what what just to have work and stuff like that? I really have a problem. Oh Vacation mode vacation. I'm telling you I'm probably the first thing they ask you at the doctor when you go in you're like yeah

I'm problems get it. He goes how are you on vacation? I'm like oh Vacation's not a problem. They're like you don't have a problem You're just not dealing with stress. Right. So what are you gonna do? Just fuck on vacation Why what are you gonna do little cave cod? We're gonna go Get go to every week three weeks That's an expensive baby you're gonna have yeah Yeah, my sex drives way down when I'm not on vacation. Just roll over on a stomach. Think of a dude. You'll be fine Will you spot me after this? Yeah, just think of Gina Biscante's voice given his pics I listen to we'll talk to you later. We got another caller. I

Love you too, but thanks for listening. I don't really love you. I mean, I like you Well, someone says I love you. It's like I love you. I'm like I love you too. I'm like nah I love Max. I love Don. I still want to love you too. I'm like nah, I barely love my family. I love max. I love Don I still want to fucking murder Don. Oh today she drove me fucking nuts Great cake. Yeah What she made they cake. Oh, yeah, get over that the cake was fucking fantastic. What cake? We had my barbecue. I was there. Not this year, the last year. We're in rain.

They've apparently who invited you? Chris, though, Keith told Chris to come and I was with Chris. Yeah, I didn't invite him. Keith just, I told Keith I go, you get five, you get five black people. Yeah. I'm arenaed, counts. Yeah. I have a couple more at the port authority.

I go, let's go. Anyways, I go, no, he invited Chris and then Chris brought him. But the party was over. That was the one where it rained. And literally sunny skies, everybody there having a blast, remember? And then it just drains for three hours. Like it hasn't rained in a hundred years. I had all these canopies I built.

Oh, it was beautiful. And they look great. Everybody was having a day broke. That in a hundred years. I had all these canopies I built. Oh, it was beautiful. And they look great. Everybody was having a day broke. That's a heart of us. An hour and a half end of it raining, I'm cooking for 50 people. And I've never kept cooking too. I had no choice.

I had fucking thousand dollars worth of meat. You have to ask me if you have to buy this. You have to stay kid. I can ask you for my barbecue sauce. Right, which I used. That's good. So then six o'clock everybody's gone Was sitting there exhausted I'm wet

Everybody's tired. We got a couple people left. Would you know these fucking two assholes my wife goes Hey, who are the black kids walking up our driveway? These two walking up there they come in I have to feed them like fucking but you was pushing for don't you didn't have to use pushing food Oh, try these steak tips try this cake try these steak tips with the mozzarella. Oh, he's like all right, okay I was like the blind side I felt bad. There was so good. I have a hot dog, you know Well, cuz you just drove two hours to get to me and I fed them like the YMCA. Yeah, I fed you two But then he's not eating the cake. There's two cakes. There's the big cake and then there's a side cake. The side cake we were giving people remember the yellow cake. I didn't get the cake.

You got ice cream. You did ice cream. I was like, oh, I couldn't stop eating it. I don't think you didn't do anything. I think you're eating healthy. Maybe yeah. They started eating the cake. We gave him cake. I got a sugar high off those cookies. Yeah, we this year was actually crazy. Oh, those are the cookies. We had two barbecues this year. We had a comic barbecue with just comedians. That's someone where you guys were fucking in the pool.

Yeah. And then Lewis Gomez was running down the street naked. Yeah. That's what I need. Out of my neighbors backyard. This was happening for real? You were actually fucking in the pool? It was fucking the pool.

No, I was a fuck. No, it was fucking. I was on vacation Lewis Gomez was changing outside at my neighbor Dolores. She let us use the pool and He's change they took his shorts and threw them up a tree. I don't know. So he starts running from them and holding his junk So all my neighbor saw was some fucking fat skinny Puerto Rican naked running out of Dolores's backyard. Why is that Puerto Rican lady holding her pussy running down the street? All right, listen, this has been a great show. What's up with the chat?

Anything going on on the chat on your Microsoft fucking computer? Punisher says unwanted com shots, sounds like Lewis J. Gomez's new podcast on... Yes, they did all. Oh, is that what he has? He actually wrote Riotcast, but then it didn't make sense because he doesn't fucking run Riotcast, so I changed it to the cast. So you made the fucking joke worse on the fly? I guess so.

Did everyone have a good holiday? What happened? Yeah. I had a great holiday. I was off for a week. I didn't do spots. That's good. You need to do that. It took a couple of days to be okay with it. And to be cool.

And then all of a sudden, I was like, cool, I'm fine. Fridays and Saturdays, not working, fine. And then Christmas was great. Norton came over. Nome came over. My wife cooked big meal, I cheated. Food wise for the first time in months and Thanksgiving.

You have to. I climbed the roof as Santa Claus. Did you look for the kids? Yeah. I told my wife, I said, listen, get me the biggest Santa fucking suit you can get. Just get 4x. I don't make it big. I don't want to, I don't want to have to fucking deal with anything.

I'd rather have it too big and Sinch it up or something then have to fucking squeeze into this fuck just get it big. I gave a hand job in the back seat of a car Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt your story What I actually did on Christmas and I was like that's what I did. Did you say Merry Christmas at the end? And I was like, that's what I did. Did you say Mary Christmas at the end? Oh, oh, oh, you're married. Yeah, I saw. You know, you know, you get Uber, you don't have to do that.

You can just get out. You can just walk out and soak up to your credit card. Yeah, you ready paper? What the fuck? Yeah, I just got a comment. Sorry, this just came out. No. This is somebody who really wants to just change

the topic to her. I was literally telling a, I was about to tell you about me getting on the roof for my, for children. And she went, her fucking ran. I jerked out there too. And how do we go back to me? We know, we don't even go back to my show. My Christmas, it doesn't get told because this more is giving a mediocre hand job.

Hand job. Yellow Cabard. It was very, yellow. He came. Do I need to ask this white guy? No black guy. Yeah, are you sure black lives matter? I had to give back Is that once a year you have to give a head job to a black guy just to stay black? Yeah

It's a condition of her and then I get my wings You get wings? That's racist. What lady? What kind of hot wings? What do you give a black guy a job? What do you mean? Wings? An angel gets wings. Oh, wings. Angel wings. Every time you give a black man a hen job, I was thinking of Saraje wings. No, they're so good. Saraje wings are really good. Someone in chat asks if you liked giving the hand job. Yeah, I did. That's enough. I could ask you question.

I just was sort of like judging myself as I was doing. I was like, you're giving a hand job. My birthday's actually on Christmas. So I was like, you're giving a hand job. You're giving a hand job on Christmas. On your birthday. It's such a giver. On Christmas.

This is like, you didn't want the three ghosts to visit you. So you just started giving away. Stay away. How the ghosts have grown, man. I don't understand. Do you like spice it up? Do you like, like, who's car?

Who's car? No, it was just a nice, you're making out on your deal. He seemed to really like it. First time. Was it his car? It was his friend's car. It was his friend. In another car with some girl that could have been transsexual. Oh, man. You hanging out with Keith and you give Keith a, Keith and Norton. You give Keith a hit, you know, yeah, Norton laughed

and then Keith had to stay. Yeah, just jerk me off, stupid but come on. You know, I have a hard time. I was a writing jerk me off. I need to help. I was. Yeah. So you jerked off. Now let me ask you a question. When you're jerking a guy off.

Yeah. Like if I'm going down in a girl or I'm fingering a girl, I just want to eat her pussy. It just gets to the point where I'm like, I don't care. I got to do this. That's important. Do you get to the point when you jerk on a guy off where you're like, I'm, look, I just want to eat her pussy. It just gets to the point where I'm like, I gotta, I don't care. I gotta do this. That's important. Do you get to the point when you're gonna go out for your like, I'm, look, I just, I gotta blow this.

Oh yeah, I mean, that was there. I actually was like, I wanted to. He has a beautiful, beautiful, anus. Can you call it hacker? You're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a, take it a left. Yeah, that's beautiful. I know why MTV liked you.

You're all likeable. You're just the most likeable little fellow I've ever met. Appreciate you, man. Yeah, you don't have that. Like, with MTV people, I would be like, looking at them like, I know more than you and I'm better than you, and this is not going to work out. But no, I... What the fuck is wrong with you?

What does that mean? MTV people make me sick. Really? They do. But I'm a mid- me sick. Really? They do. How about a mid-year segment? They're usually younger. He's nice. They're younger.

He's an MTV person. But no, he's not. I like it. I like it. I like him a lot. He's one of the good ones. Thank you. I'm trying.

Finish the story. Did you head over like a- I almost did, but then I thought about it. Because I was like, I really want to- How close were you to think about it like we you I verbalized it. I said I'm him I'm him I'm him I'm him I'm him you're you are you sure you ready? Yes, I'm ready. I want to get a surprise come shot He's gonna do he's gonna do folly work fully work

He's doing a fellow work. He's gonna he's gonna do he's gonna do folly work folly work He's doing a folly work. He's gonna he's gonna come. I was in that heart. Hi, Ray. It's like softer Okay, I was on the vein by the way Okay, look at me. Oh, God. Oh my God. You have such a you have such a beautiful penis. Thank you You called it a penis. I did okay. Very technical Thank you, Maria. You have such a... Jesus Christ. It's cute. Thank you. Great. Thank you, baby. I really want to kiss it. Why don't you go kiss it? Why don't you? Because we're in the back seat of a car. Yeah, but that's where you should be kissing it. I know, but there's too much light.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go pull under a bridge. Let's go let's go let's go pull under a bridge No, I just I don't know this is wrong. We both live in New York. Why are we doing this here in Chicago? You started talking that much Yeah, you know what I'm not even wearing the right plows for this I really did get what I did this is really what happened Yeah, it's someone says blouse about what I love when Robert space immediately got sad I did I started talking and I said I said I can't I'm in the back seat of the car This gross

What's what's gross? Why is that a hindrance to I just don't feel like I I Want to joke I really like the sky You really set us up you son of a bitch to talk girl talk She really would she really set us up to talk girl talk fuck you so fantastic. They don't fucked up. She really would. She really set us up to talk girl talk. I really thought he's just what he's the one. I've really got in the back seat with a huge dick. Making you jerk him off on a street is the one girl. You know what? Like it. My boy blew me on a rock for ice cream so he never know. Well I mean, and then he said, but wouldn't it be hot? To come or the car.

What? If we started having like full on sex. Yeah. So he didn't want to fuck you. This got good. He did. He said wouldn't it be hot? Oh, I like to see.

Wait a minute stop. You're talking about a fat guy. When I hear a lot I'm like, oh, I I can't breathe the sweating. I only have one shirt You're talking about skinny guy hot Where it's like oh, it's hot. I hear the word heart. I'm like oh, I don't want to get hot To call her about yes, please Hello caller. Hello. Can I do the whole it's my show can I that? I don't want to make sure you're on the Y key WD. What's going on? So I've been only black light. Don't matter because you jerked off a black dude. Do I have a tissue?

What? You need to put your sentence together better next time. And take your collar. Take it. Try it again. Do it one more time. Do it again. Hello caller. You're on the air. I got it. I got it. I'm gonna say your white and you have a townhouse not a full house apartment they go listen hey call how are you what do you got for us uh... but only black or don't matter since he jacked off a black guy into a tissue and from boston to i can hear that i'm

i'm from i'm saying are you from boston i live in quenching, exactly what's fucking worse? That's what Duncan Donnells was invented listen you clock soccer He said yeah, exactly really well you fun fact MTV guy. I like that He had the tissue in this story. I never there was no He's saying black lives don't matter because you jizz in the babies into a nap I know but it's not really babies this I'm gonna come back in the car seat and never he never actually was there a car seat never came he never came

never came so for a guy you didn't even do a ms solid now for here's the deal buddy she fucking tricked us into girl talk okay she why she really likes this guy there was she was trying to get us she drew us in with the look at now she's got a sweater back on. She had her shoulders out and nipples were hard. I jerked a guy off. I was trying to talk about my kid and Christmas. I jerked a guy off in a car. We shut the whole showdown

for fuck it her. And it's about her. This fucking assholes in love. She's just in love. She I don't if he comes and he doesn't like me and they get so concerned. I know cuz you got some fucking voodoo jinks. She's like baseball players Fucking Fucking superstitions listen Listen to me Respect the girl. Would you want to be with the girl? I'm gonna. It's looking me in the eye honey Listen if you Sucked his dick and

Spit his load out the window on a fire hydrant. You would have got flowers the night you would have gotten I concurse you're right. He did rush me. I'm getting yes All hell fucking scopo are you living? I Seen a give it to her hip scope all this fucking asshole. You know, I do think that He did rush me out of the car after all what is right? And then he did he did order me a Uber But he pushed me in yeah, you know why he pushed it in the over because it's not the girl who's gonna suck his dick was coming The fucking chicken got a Christmas present a fucking flowers Honaka and chick who's with right now, having Vietnamese food on his diet.

And you're here with us. Wait, are you gonna say he respect you? You're arguing with a fat ball guy about fucking MTV videos. He hoisted you until Uber. Got you the fuck outta here. Push me into that Uber, so fast. Frozen broccoli on his nuts. I was wondering, I said, is it because it's cold outside?

Why did he push me so fast into the swoop? I love that the Uber pulled up to the side of the door. It was open and there was just like just a tunnel. He just fucking hooked her out the window. I just thought, well, I touched his dick and he can't drive me home. No, no, that's not. You understand? Have you ever looked at the dick chart?

There's actually a chart we have. And if you touch it, you, you, if looked at the dick chart? There's actually a chart we have. And if you touch it, if you touch the dick and don't make it come, you get nothing. Nothing. Literally, if you made him come, you would have got to fuck, you got to go to ride home. He would have remembered your name. Your name?

Remember your name? I was forgotten my name in the past. I'm a man. Amanda, this Ralphie. Yeah, we was out the other night. I have a brother. No, I can be. My name's Mary. It's Marina.

Yeah, listen, Maryl. No, no, no, sorry. Maryl. It's Marina, and I jerked you off in a car. Did you finish? You understand? If you sucked his dick, do you have any fucking dinners? That's three dinners.

If you're something. That's three dinners and one lunch during the day. Dude, that shows up. That would have been a little bit right there in the day. Look at you, you break it down into meals, rapper. Yeah, it's that, dude. You said three dinners, one lunch. Three dinners a day lunch.

Oh, you're choice, by the way. It's blood. I like the town car. What?. Oh, your choice by the way. It's blood What? No, stop it's actually it's no it's so bad it's getting good. What did you say? Well, that we said town car a town car Listen to a town car. Yeah, like the car. He's not universal What if this show show because this cocktail lives in Quincy where Uber won't go What if this show show no because this cock's like a liven Quincy where uber won't go Did he at least all Bruins had on you when he fucking didn't come done done dead it was at a fucking Lincoln That was at a calm mouth six six six don't

Done was it a fucking seven seven seven done Shack you some some of the why you talking shit buddy. I'm from Medford. It's a big difference between Quincy. No listen, South Shore. You guys are fucking animals There's more Asians in Quincy Is there really? Yeah, man, I didn't know. Yeah, well, you met the quarter. Wow, you're the worst. I want you to call back every week as the worst. You're like, you're worse than Deepo's Christmas presents.

I don't say your wife is just hurtful. Turn your fucking computer down your fucking fucking ape, we can, what, really? Yeah, I heard you. How the fucking how it turns you listen to, all the radio shows on, when the guy goes, turn your radio down, dummy, you fucking still, fuck you people who fucking don't turn your stupid radio down. Put some headphones in.

Robert was forced to hear himself. You twat, you fucking, you know what, Marina? That really bothered you. You heard just a white peepie. You were like, oh no. Why were you ready to catch it? Ah, ah, ah. All right, buddy, we gotta let you go

because you're really just fucking stink. You blew like I should have. Yeah, oh god, she's doing puns. She's back to being white Marina. All right, we'll see you later, buddy. Thanks for calling. Um, Mary, happy to know you. All right, but hang up on them. I want to stop talking to these people. You leave them all. I say goodbye. Just hang up. I don't need to hear you. I shouldn't hear you too. Yeah, you you to or I love you to Love you bro. All right, what what we got more people?

No, you got the other thing you want to bring up. Oh, we have some chat. All right go to the chat real quick. So whitey McMayne I go to the chat real quick. So, a whitey McMayain age. Oh! No, I'm wondering what network healers do. He says, we need an MTV video for this guy so he can learn how they clean Wigs. Wow. Is that a boss delivery or was that just bad?

I don't know. I don't even know what that was. It's a Wig thing. My thing about the Wig thing is when you did a black girl, you have to understand the whole different thing, you know, a lot of black girls wear wigs. You can't just grab a weave. You can't, a weave.

You can't pull a black girl's hair like you would a white girl. You can't go in. White girls wear wigs then. But they do, yeah, so yeah, that like Britney Spears and all those girls. A lot of the regular ones too. They wear fake hair now. You gotta be careful.

You can't just rip a girl's hair. But a black girl will fucking do it. This is, this is expensive, I'll fucking kill you. Now if you can date a, if I haven't messed with black girls, I don't have natural hair. I once got blood in my hair. And I had, this is when my hair was straight

and the guy and I were having sex and his nose started. I'm not following victim to your horse hair. I know. Cause I know this is some fucking kitten stories. I know this is some No, I don't because I know it's gonna wind up with some love montage Some fucking some type of And then I feel like you guys were doing coke I know I didn't know he I guess he did coke I didn't know him that well. Yeah, was doing it off your hair. No, we were having sex

We're having sex and I guess it was so good that his nose started bleeding Yeah, in my hair and I had it straight at the time. Oh my god. Oh my god. That is some good And my hair I had just gotten straightened Yes, well, I had just gotten straightened listen your wide-ed non-blinking weird shit that you do doesn't phase me. Are you okay, Robert? Whatever weird fucking, I will not be ignored, Dan. Go fuck yourself. All right?

Don't you want to know how I saw it? I don't, but go ahead. So I was just, he's on top of you. His nose is dripping blood. He was really, really good. but you didn't know till after Biggest cock I've ever had I know you but this is a good he could go forever He went until the sun came until his nose where being sucked in Damn fellas she uses trigger word

All right, I left it and then we got a game and then I did last coming standing with it You didn't wait a minute you did TV with blood from a fucking guys knows that you were fucking in your hair very Marena We need my money my nose was bleeding in your hair You might want to wash it my advice use the jokes if your jokes are drowning which ones would you say oh by the way I got blood from my nose and you're a fucking afro you might want to wash it out but do it after the show it's bad luck to wash your hair if I had think you have a good shot of winning I thought it was good luck. That's exactly why I thought

Thanks to pal has blood in his hair Yeah, Jay Moore when he got asked to now had blood in his hair from my nose I got stories Jim brew when he came up with the Joe Pashy thing he had blood I I blood from the balcony of the Take your show back That's how you take your show that's good take that shit and make it I remember when dang cook he did big with his first album harmful swallowed, is what I said to him when the blood fell off my nose and it was, that could be harmful to the Swallowed.

He was like, I should fucking do that. But I'm not going to go, what the fuck? Who does TV with blood in there here for my guys? I went far. No. You're the most superstitious listener. You didn't watch it for like four weeks. We're gonna wrap this up We're gonna wrap it up. I'm calling is there somebody calling? We do want to take a look

I bet it's Barry cats. That is false. God. What is it? Hey? This is Robert Kelly. You know what dude? You're on the air. What's happening? Yeah, what's up? I just want to know what she did with the dude Which one what's happening? Yeah, what's up? I just want to know what she did with the dude. Which one? Which one? I want to know what happened to me on fucking Santa Claus. The one that she was fucking, or the one in the car. What would she do with the come in the car?

She didn't make it in the car. She didn't make it in the car. Listen, man, you've got to listen. She really likes him, so she didn't want him to come. I get a soft stroke on the vein He seemed really like it and then I realized how much I liked him and I stopped That should make sense Classy

What did you say why would she do that? First of all, you're white and we know your wise Why would you do that? You fucking asshole What's your name? That's some hatred what your name sir. I'm getting joy from your frustration. What's your name, sir? I already called you. No, I don't I don't know your name. What you? oh, you're the first call back. That's for you. Oh, Jesus. Oh my god. I'm kind of your cop again. Oh, well, oh, the story you decided him. All right. I want you to Google image picture Bobby Kelly. Yeah, but do it from 2001. I think we have the vein of pretending to have tanda's marina bobby

yes sexy bobby yeah well sexy bobby's dead no no this bobby ate him bobby did that yeah well i'm just i just don't want to die that's the bobby you have right now all right buddy well thanks for calling enjoy Enjoy your life and we'll call back again. And don't you want to hear about Robert Santa Claus' story? Don't you want to hear this?

Yeah, I want to hear this. Go fuck yourself. What happened? I think it's all thanks to you. You think I'm following her to Dick's stories? You're out of your mind. Good, clean, and follow mediocre dirty anytime. What's that?

Good, clean, and follow mediocre dirty anytime. First of all good clean can follow mediocre dirty anytime go that first of all Her's is not mediocre dirty. It was great dirty. Oh, she really changed. She fucking sucked us all in Even this fucking Microsoft idiot the hand job back twice Oh, he's okay, but I'll talk to you later. I love you. I love you too. Wait. I'll give you a soft hand job. I won't finish. How's that? What do you want? Gantz are from the 40s.

Yeah. I'll give you a soft hand job. I won't finish. Don't have your dick spitting on me, see? I got a finish up. My name's hand job, Helen. And what my thing is, I'll give you a hand job and never finish. I put you in a raid.

Yeah. I put a bitch in hand job and never finish. I put you in a raid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Prohibition, I'm semenin' here. I used to go to jails and jerk guys off, and then when they're about to come and walk away and take a sip of tea. Hey, listen, waterboarding, see ya. Yeah.

Nothing better than rubbed that guy, I used to use my thumb on the vein. Yeah. And then I'll make you listen to my voice. Yeah. Yeah. See? All right, listen. How much do you love soccer? And then I'll make you listen to my voice Listen I'm a cute love soccer. I don't care I'm not I'm not listen here's a deal Santa Claus. This is how fucked up my life. This is why I'm kind of listen

I'm very I need to go back to meetings. I'm a little fucked up. I'm a little edgy. I'm a little angry. I haven't done comedy in weeks and I think that really affects everything. I think when we don't do what we love to do, I know that I did it in living life as important, but I think you have to do something creative. When you're a comic, you have to get on stage. Yeah, work. And I think that I haven't. I've just been this guy, which I love my kid. I spent so much great time with Max and my wife. I learned so much shit as a dad the last couple weeks on how to deal with him without,

because I don't want to yell and I don't want to scream. You know, I don't, like, I have a fucking awful temper that was handed to me, was given to me. And my problem is I kept it. And now at 46, I deal with it. I try, you know what I'm saying? So it's, it's, it's a sucky thing. We're all given shit things, I think, from our childhood, from being raised and fucked up ways. We all have stuff. I'm not saying I'm, oh, I'm so fucking, you know, unique. I'm not. But my shit sucks. And I don't want to give it to my kid. I also want to, don, I'm so fucking unique, I'm not, but my shit sucks and I don't wanna give it to my kid. I also wanna, don't wanna live my shit life

through the kid. So I learned so much, great shit this week being with him and my wife, even though she fucking pissed me off today. And it was a great holiday, but I think I need to get back to comedy. I think I need to get back to my job because that's where I learned how to control my fucking psychoness.

I've learned how to control my craziness through stand up. Somehow, it fucking is the... Yeah, and stick to balance. Yeah, it's something that when I get on stage and I can get up there and risk it all in fear and walk through it and deal with it and get laughs and then it works or blah blah.

And then you walk off, you feel like you feel good. Good shit, man. So. Go for it. Go for it. Good shit, dude. Robert is so much like we can't really take a compliment. He was like, stop.

I just want to just hop in. No, I'm sorry, dude Robert is so much like we can't really take a compliment. He was like No, I'm sorry dude just was expecting whatever that was it was so nice to and Robert didn't know you It's a blifting I feel you Thank you. Thank you. I feel you. Well, somebody's listening little like he's black But that is good. I think it's good, but I'm back and that's why today I came in. I'm fucking, you know, all this I you come in and everything's It's stupid. It's ridiculous. You can't control people if I'm gonna teach anybody anything of the new year Here's the deal you cannot change anybody and finish a hand job I thought this was the lesson. You cannot.

I think we should all give our own hand jobs. No. I think we should all, I want to come to you right now, I want to give you plugs and then at the end of it I want you to give me what you think people should take another new year. My thing is this, the only person you can change is yourself. That's it. Accept everybody else or get them out of your life, including your wife or your kid. No, I'm kidding, but that's my thing. What do you got?

A plug or inspiration? You plug plug. This is my problem. He wasn't listening. I said, I did another plug and then tell people, but this fuck was staring off in the fucking space You know, I'm saying but I'm not gonna fucking change him. I'm not gonna get mad at him I'm just gonna let him be the fucking moron. No, I'm kidding. Go ahead You can follow me on Twitter at Chris Polanco. I have a weekly show every of course you do every Wednesday It's the end-up show at two boots in Parkslope in Brooklyn. Let's go.

And it's really fun. D-Poo's done it and, you know, well. Can you never invite me? Let's fuck up. Everybody says that. And you know you're not going. Even if he invites you, the poor kid's going to ask you to come. And the last minute you're going to blow him off, he's going to be fucked.

Okay. I'll do it. So just show up and walk on. I'm sure he'll put you up. But you don't want to go I I'm sorry Look I run a show in a p3. I know what the fuck I'm doing And people just even that good shit pizza

You got to write up in the New York Times Yeah, I fucking I can get a write up in the New York Times Let me see. Let me see how that happened. Huh? I'm kidding. What else you got? All right, and I do this soccer podcast and YouTube channel, which it's great. What?

A soccer podcast and YouTube channel. It's the world that's come to a fucking end. It's so fun. Another comment, Alexis Guerrero, he's been on the show. It's a really fun show. We just tried, we went to Toronto for the MLS cup. Right. We went to go, we got as, we went as media, we got media credentials. It was really cool. We got to interview players, the whole thing. That's great. So, hey, and the inspirational

words, oh, that's called the Cooligan to follow us as soccer cooligan. Okay. And inspirational words, be honest with yourself, with your family, I had my father and my brother both had heart attacks this year and you know it really brought us closer and you know it's sad that it took that. Usually it does. But yeah always make sure you're really close and honest with the people in your life because you could lose them at any moment. Do you want to say something about cholesterol too?

Yeah I do I do Make sure you take a lipitor Yeah, okay, you get to I what do you got besides Jeopardy Heart What do you got besides fucking gay close new year's Eve no we're already past new year's We're past new year's Eve, but we have live people live people right now. We got a live people listen So I'll be a Caroline's on Broadway. Here's the deal. But we have live people. Live people right now. We got to live people listening to us. So I'll be a Caroline Zumbrodway. Here's the deal.

You live people listening right now. Please, what you can do is go tweet about this after we're done. Go to Aaron's page or go to Chris's page and tweet about these things and let people know and retweet it and retweet it. Use social media for what it's good for instead of just fucking critiquing what your opinion is,

you fucking twat's not. Just help these guys come show up or retweet it and help people spread the word. That's what you do. Go ahead. New Year's Eve, Caroline's on Broadway. I'll be there. I'm at the stand every Monday for frantic.

And every Tuesday I have a show on compoundmedia.com called In Hot Water. So February, I have a show on compoundmedia.com called In Hot Water. So February, I'll be in Canada. I'll be doing Ottawa, Yuck X for Valentine's Day Week. If you live in Canada and you want to come out in February. And you should have children. If you have white kids, send them to the school in Bobby's district so that they can get the numbers up. You really want to try and change.

The houses are overpriced where he lives, but it's a very lovely neighborhood. No, it's affordable. Is it affordable? Yeah. I mean, for me, the market's due to crash. Maybe you could get them to be. The prices will probably drop by about $75 to $100. Is it going to crash?

There's a few months now. I hope so. And I hope so. I'm looking to buy,. It's gonna be a few months now. I hope so. Yeah, so and I hope so. I'm looking to buy. So we'll see what we can figure out. I hope so. I love it for crash. Oh, yeah.

I'll go buy a nice fucking mansion up in Yorktown Heights. Yeah. All right, buddy. Thanks for coming on Marina. Sweetie. Well, hello, everyone. So you can always go to my work. Are we haste?

First, are you good? Are you good? Of course, Robert. Beautiful. You know, this is what we do. I've fought with you many times and that wasn't even really a fight. That was more of like, I knew where you were and I wrote it. Do you know what I'm saying? You can be the smartest person I know and then immediately be the stupidest person I know. You can be the smartest person I know and then immediately be the stupidest person I know. What do you got, baby?

Okay, so you can go to my website, which is I know generic to say, but marinafrankland.com, but I will be in San Francisco for the sketch fest. What does that happen? January 13th to the 15th. I am doing, it's a sketch fest where they have like a lot of shows. They do podcasts. They do comedy shows So I do one where I'm co-headlining. I'm doing the Eugene Merman show that's on Audible where I tell a funny story I haven't even figured out what that is. I guess it should be the one where I almost trick off a guy and Killed on my show. Yeah, and then I do a show for Arparna non-Sherla

She has a show as well that I'm performing on. And so it's fun, yeah. Now I'm gonna be on San Francisco. I love San Francisco, one of my favorite places in the States. I love it, love it. One of my favorite cities. It's so fucking great. He works for Google.

It's so fucking great. It's so many good places to hang out. Jazz, a lot of jazz. They get a lot of jazz, they get a lot of jazz. They've got a lot of jazz, they've got a lot of good restaurants, they've got a lot of good- Great steakhouse. Yeah. In the tenderloin, I forget the name of it,

really old school steakhouse. Yeah. Delicious. Yeah, this is kind of, I think we were kind of talking. Thanks. But yeah, so I'm there. You jumped in like her with hand jobs. Steakhouse.

I ride the vein. I ride the vein. That's the fuck. So I ride the vein. I ride the vein. That's the fuck. I ride the vein. It's the grossest sexiest thing I've ever heard in my life. I'm so fat you can't find my vein. So go check that out. What are you staring at right now? This is how I can listen to my own voice. That's how we listen to it. This is how I just thought, please, please, stop. That's how, I really want to thought to happen and have to look up. Like even when I talk to my therapist, I don't look at her. Yeah, it's called autism.

Is it? No, I can't look at her when I'm having like really good thoughts. And she'll do like this. She knows I'm not looking at her and talking it. I can't do it at the same time. Do you go to Hillary? I can't look at you and talk at the same time. I'm just very, very, hard. knows I'm not looking at her and talking at it. I can't do it at the gallery. However, I can look at you and talk at the same time. I'm just very hot because I love you.

I love you to Robert. I really do. I do. Why? Why do we never fuck around? Because you're married. No, no, no. And I love her. No, not that before, before, back in the day, you never tried. I'm sure it would have happened Whoa, you know, it wouldn't know she would have given me a hand job in a cab and fucking said I'm gonna go No, no, I was full on back then I Went all the way with the hand jobs. What is it?

It's an age thing. It's a different person now. I need more. I need more. Well, I told you there's a chart This chart is very important. All right. We'll get you the chart. So I guess yeah, so that's it You know, Sanford. I wanted your podcast on our network for God's sake. She never came I don't think it's the right podcast for your network, but I do understand I'm gonna work on another podcast for your network about me and the backseat of cabs yelling at people I think that's more appropriate, but my network's not that, you know, my network is very diverse. We have women. No, but a lot of the...

We don't have, we don't have, what? I just don't think it's the right match for you. Look at our network. We have to girls. I see nothing black up there. Yeah, that's what we're trying. Yeah, we're trying to get black. We have, first of all, we have Dante's show on our network.

Well, Dante's show fits the network. Bage, Philips. Yeah, it's very male and very... I, but no, we have Bailey J, which is a trend. Shedder. They don't want to hear from friends. Trans. Why? Who's they? The callers. Yeah, that's right. That's reverse racism. I know the show that I called up. They loved it.

Oh, I know they do, but I don't think it's the show for them. I think you're giving your selling them short. I you're selling them short and you're not giving the riot cast fans, you're not giving them a chance and that's wrong because I think if your show, like I told you, we need a show like yours. Just like my kid needs to go to a diverse school. I agree. I think you're right about that. And that's why here's going to be my words for the next year. Is that in every moment of conversation, take the moment to educate. Wow. My dick is never going away quicker than what she says. It's very true. You just say that at the end

of every hand job you give. Yeah. To make it. Just to make sure they don't come. Well, in part of that education is knowing that you have to finish a hand job. Ah, yes. So I learned something to make you guys. I love you. Thanks for coming on. What do you got?

I love you. Hit me up on Instagram at the Great Boy. What is it? The Great Boy. The Great Boy. I like. Derek won Gaines on Twitter. I think I'm at New Year's Eve and I've been

at Long Island City to stay in the room. It'd be funny if you took that hat off and the hair came with it. I just blood on it. I'm just blood on it. Whoa! I'm a hangout. I'm a go-

Well done! I bled on it. That's how we got the Gage at an end of the game. I'm a hangout star, everything. I fucking bled right on his curls. I told him to put a hat on it and on it. That's how we got the gauge It's all right. Everything I fucking blood right on his curls. I told him put a hat on it Keep it. All right. What do you got? New Year's Eve Long-hour city New Year's day more Monday. I'll be at the seller and

I'll be around the city and then I've got to go back to LA in February Oh, and I have a podcast every Wednesday called city council. Of course you do. And if you want to see him dance, go to marina's Instagram. That was fun at night. Yeah. He's doing the best dance to Bob. Was it Bobby Brown or whatever they was on? It was good. He's got a move. We got to, uh, we got to get the center city guys back on. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Filly. Um, what do you got? Uh, you could follow me everywhere. Art to Deepu. And I got a couple of podcasts. Uh, one's called Geeks in New York.

And the others called go to help Podcast. You can check those out. We had a special Final Fantasy 15 episode. I finished that last week and we talked about that on Geeks in New York. It was pretty cool. So you can check that out. And my advice for the year is to reset how you're playing the thinking. Get into some Frank's app. Stop watching MTV.

You don't need that shit. Find some food channels on YouTube to get into right and that's all you need baby It's like you're talking to me Good. I am what was your advice? My advice black people be more patient. Why people be more progressive over perilous I have I have what are my dates? So on the I have one of my dates. So on the 20th of... Well, this weekend I'm at Charlie Goodnights. That's right.

For the weekend, which I'm very excited to work this club because I've never worked it. It's in North Carolina, I believe. And that's gonna be great. So come out. Oh, so my mom. My mom is out there. Oh good, tell your mom.

She'll yell at me. No, she's would love you. Oh good. What does that mean? Why do you say it? Like, that's a bad thing? She wrote it for Trump Shit that was your mouth closed. That's Very positive stance on Israel a lot of people the fucking mad about Obama's

Stance on Israel and they really going for Trump because that's just one issue though Unfortunately, it's a big one. Yeah, well, it can't be the only issue. It's a big one. It's a big one for them. Yeah, well. But it's changing a lot of liberal stances on Trump. What else I got?

Can we not bring up fucking Palestine Israel while my plug's going on? Fucking well, light hearted while you fucking twat spread it. You're a fucking podcast virus. I just want to get a couple plugs up. Can I have my own travel? Charlie good. What do we got? January 5th. You will be at Seneca Niagara Casino Bears Den in Niagara Falls, New York. On January 6th and 7th, you will be at the Funny Bone in Syracuse, New York. And on the 12th, you will be at Mahafi Theater in St. Petersburg, Florida.

Yes. So yeah, I got a bunch of dates coming up. I'm coming back to Beverly, Massachusetts. I got a shitload of things coming up. So please go to robacalelive.com, check out all my dates. And also make sure you become a premium member. Go and download the app where? iOS and Android.

Yeah, that's right. And robacale is, you know what, dude, app? It's $199 a month. Just sign up, that's right. And it's Robert Kelly's, you know what dude app? It's 199 a month. Just sign up and it's nothing. Support the show by doing that. We get all the premium member stuff up there. And that's it. And what else?

And have a great new year. I hope you had a good time. Be safe. Don't be an asshole. You don't need to get fucking blackout drunk. Have a good time. Be safe. My new year is what do you got there?

I was just gonna give you something. This is a hoodie. You were talking about hoodies earlier. Yeah, I love hoodies. One of the sponsors of the soccer podcast that do, they call on the Valley of Parallel. So I had an extra sweater. Yeah, how big is it?

I guarantee it. Three XL, three XL is that good? It's kind of fit. That's kind of fit. So I like it. Three XL? What's it called, Offsup? It.

What? What? Yeah, he did that that one slot. I like it. What's it called off-site? Yeah, he didn't let that one slide. I just repeated. Number one, you didn't need to say the size. Even though I asked, you could just say I think it fits. Number two. I know I know. I know. Now I know what to get you. Yeah, you know what to get me. I'll tell you what to get me Hey, yeah, I got you a hand job I got your hand job that's good a finish all right What does it volley a parallel football club? Yeah, it's got on the top soccer. It's soccer. Yeah, so why is it say football?

Oh shit for another part. So sweet. I love that thing. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. No problem. And to do that, he makes the clothes. He's a good dude. So I just, what's it called on the Valle a peril on the Valle a peril. I appreciate. Looks like a nice, I like the color too. All right. Well, my advice to you guys is this. My show. My is, why is he coming on your show? I want gifts. You've is he coming on your show? I want gifts.

You've never brought me on your show. Robert, you want to come? Get it? You want to come? I feel like it's a tease though. You've never come to my show. You've never invited me. I have invited you first of all.

I invite you to everything. I invite you to every party. Never. Well, I'm inviting you now. I can't make it the listen the thing is Maybe a couple weeks. I definitely want you. I want what why are you dressed like the lesbian on the Alaska show? You've got to make a baby. It's cold Where? All right, check it out. I would say this Don't be afraid to take a risk and don't be afraid to say sorry.

Okay? That's my advice to you. Take a risk. What the fuck are you laughing about? Take a risk and then apologize for taking the risk. That's what I'll be saying. Can I finish? Yeah.

Got to finish. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, You can apologize you can do it again. You can fit you can do it. Every want just what the fuck are you doing? I was acting out. I don't need fucking finger puppets. You're trying I was yours I was walking no, what was your what was yours? And then taking you we know you're failing we get that listen. What is your? I know I'm doing well Oh my god. What was your what was your fucking What was your advice advice? What was it you're trying to suck me is I'm not trying to suck you in what was your advice? It was what take a risk. What was yours? Yeah, it was take a risk what no, I really want to know I forgot I have a I have a comparison. I want to make I was saying

I have a comparison I want to make. I was saying in a... Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com