Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Riff Room | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #50

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss Bobby’s new leather bad guy look, Joe List not doing the TD Garden in Boston, Danny Braff tells a story about Jerrod Carmichael at Uncle Vinnie’s, the flights and government shutdown, the Yankee Swap show, all things Skankfest, Comedy Central lawsuit, Joe List: Man of the Year, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedyhttps://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/  https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/  SPONSORS  LucyGet 20% off first order w/ code “REGZ” PrizePicks Get $50 in lineups after placing your first $5 lineup https://www.prizepicks.com/ AG1 Get a free welcome kit and flavor sampler when you first subscribe https://www.drinkag1.com/REGZ Aura Get $45 off Carver Mat Frames using code REGZ https://on.auraframes.com/REGZ BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ25 to get 25% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ Small Batch CigarUse code REGZ10 for 10% off plus 5% rewards https://www.smallbatchcigar.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. What's up? What's up, everybody? We're back. We're back. It's the Regs. Dance Soda, Lewis, J. Gomez, me, Robert Kelly. Don't step over my fucking name, dude. What is that? You do it every show. Every fucking show at the beginning.

So pause. No, I don't pause. Because if I pause, you'd be like, why you fucking pause it? You got something to say every time. Is that how I talk? I talk. In my head, you talk like this. That's pretty good.

Lewis, that's good. Lewis in my head is, ha, rah, rah. Hey, if you don't want to pause, why don't your hoofs? Ha! Pause, like a, like, you know. We should get a pause sign for general. Where's the bomb dana? Can we get a bomb bandana hammer?

May I add in, though? Dude, the bomb hammer would rule. We hit them in the fucking fingers. Everything they bomb. How you go. Now, can I talk about the thing? Dan's finger would still be the same flatness. Can I say?

New thing. If you bomb, hand in the middle, whoever gets a hit it first gets a hit it. I like it. New rule. The bomb button. Bomb button. No one's going to talk. what's up, listen

I just need it We're back Can I bring up my topic now? You have a topic? There's no topics, dude No direction That's his day, dude Are you shitting your pants?

There's no, for what? Nobody can fly anywhere in America right now. The government opened back up today They open back up today They open back up today They open back up today They open back up today Let's get some cooking

And it was also 3% of flights were being No, dude, no, no. They were calling. 10% that it was going to 15. Every day that went by, it was going up a 5%. It was still. Colin Quinn, Ross, and Ian Finance, all stuck. Norman, too.

Colin's still stuck in Vegas right now. He's in a, uh, Voss was in a middle seat and coach. Collins's zone three right now. Yeah, it was bad. Every seat should be a middle seat for Voss. I like it. I liked it. I was opening water.

I liked it. I liked it. I liked it. I liked it. Ow, why'd my dad? Ow! So is it really over? Are we okay? When did you turn into a bad guy?

He came back from Boston. Just a bad guy. It reminds me of Charles in charge when Charles got the head injury and became Chaz. Bobby's in here and he's a bad guy. I want a new name, too. Yeah, you're like, you're like Lamborghini.

Something, you know what, hit me. No. I like it. I like it because I know I deserve it. You shouldn't put your glasses. Lens down. I didn't mean to. Fucking Lens face. That worked.

Thank you. Yeah, this Skank Fest thing has the potential to be... To be a fucking... Let me tell you about... I'm flying... My Sunday flight to get there

is a nightmare to begin with with the government open. Friday's Sundays, people are saying... He's coming out of a soul plane. Yeah, dude, I would love that. Take the train. Dude, I'm coming from Madison to New Orleans. Yeah, take a train, dude.

Dude, there's a two-hour... It's a seller. It's a new Japanese... I looked up the flights, or the drive from here, guess how I'm gonna God damn it. We're gonna play a game, dude. Lewis loves games.

Well, Soda would have said three hours. You're fucking asshole. You know Lewis likes. What were we going to guess? Here to New Orleans, I would have guessed over 20. What were you going to get? I was going to guess 19. God damn.

What's a good guess? What do you want? I was going to guess. Four minutes of fucking podcast time. Done. The gold was coming. The audience. Oh, look at it.

You're shifting. Did it. Oh, that's a. That's British. You could despotle. If there's one thing I know about our audience, they like when we guess how long a drive something is. Yeah, that was going to be a fun game, dude.

Well, I guessed it. What are you going to do? It wasn't fun. I nailed it. How far is the drive? Here to Austin. Bango. Bango?

That's the name of the game. It's bingo. 29 hours. You guys want to play bingo? And bingo. Bobby goes. It's 24 hours. 24 hours.

I say 29. I say 24. I'm going to be. guess you could do it in 22 hours. You don't know? No. You asshole. How would I know? I don't know. Joe, what do you got? I'll say 23 and a half. This game stinks. That's a dick

move. So maybe Joe did. This cocksucker just fucking prices right me. What did you say? I said 24. Well, it's got to be around there. We're close. Who's how? I don't think Vill and Bobby likes that that much. That is true. I don't think. Coming all the way from Joe Liss who lives in the fucking Battery Park,

got to go through fucking 18 hours of traffic just to get out of your neighbor I was fucking who's fucking wordy who's two hours can I smash you

crazy Bobby's house is like a whole other fucking can I smash you for your wordiness wow he's one are you a story

why don't you shoot him with a Tommy gun sully I like that I like that I kind of liked it that guy Bob

it looked like you went back to Boston and hung out with your old crew I did well the thing is I did Boston comics

come on I saw that story they won't fucking book me I fucking God you want The show, and you fucked me.

He fucked me. I was going to tell you how he fucked me. He fucked me. And I know Bobby looks like he met a bad boy over the summer, and then we came back to him press him. No, I look like John DeVolder after the summer and we're back to the T-birds. Here's the deal.

That was the bit. I know, but I did it better. It was a clarifier. It was a clarifier. I was a clarifier. I was a clarified up on leather. Yeah, you're very, you're very aggressive. I am.

Chill. No, I will not. No. Cookies. Get the fucking buzzer. I'm not. aggressive at all. Take a chill pill. No, I don't, don't tell me what to do. Shut up, relax. Shut up.

I like our old selves are back. We're not listening to each other. We're just yelling. Stomping on sentences. Look at me, Lewis. I'm out here. Stomping on sentences. I'm already thinking about the next thing I'm going to say. I'm not even, I'm just seeing your mouth moving, but I'm not here at anything. I'm suicidal again.

Joe's drinking again. His thickest guy. He doesn't have herpes. I'm getting fat again. I'm sick of fucking. I have COVID right now. Listen, here's it. Really? So this guy, this guy says to me, oh, that's what we need. Whoa. Oh, can I see them?

Well, thin cookies are. No, you're going to throw them. I know it because you've got your leather jacket vibes. Those are thin cookies. Those will crumble into a powder. Leather jacket, Bobby, would have tossed that. Oh, that would have been great. There you go.

I'm not, dude, come on. Lewis, but I don't trust Bobby. Well, if you have a funny bone in your body, you'll smash them, but you do have more fat bone in your body. No, I'm better now. Yeah, watch this. No, no, no. It's not from this angle. You're not.

You got skank fest this. No, I'm not doing that. That's Gankfest this week. God blow, you assholes. No. You're chewing on camera, on microphone. What up the fuck? On camera, dumbass.

I had a two-picking last week. He fucking yelled at me. Now he's chewing on camera. I hope nobody makes it to New Orleans. Wow. We're good. What is the status of the flights right now, boys in the booth? They're all backed up today.

Boys in the booth? They don't know. I'm Googling it now. So this guy says to me, you were here. I'm never on fuck. I make a phone call. I thought, they go, yeah, he's in. Yeah.

Love him. He's in. How is Stress Factory this weekend? Unbelievable. Yeah, was it? Made $14,000. It was packed out, fun. I shot a little special.

Nice weekend with a heaven to fly. Great. What? It's a good little weekend. We all turn on Bobby. That's actually great. It's a great weekend. Actually sounds great.

I appreciate it. It was very nice. I was already booked. So they was late. It was late. They booked him. After the poster and lineup had been released. They read a text message on a holiday

Now it wasn't released They redid everything They were I'm missing what's the beginning of this story I don't know where the story started Comics come home in Boston Because you weren't listening Comics come home in Boston

Joe hasn't done it yet Bobby does it every year Joe was like can you get me on the show I don't think you guys gave a lot of this context I think it was all assumed this context We love to assume Because it makes it now For somebody listening to the show

For the first time They know what the fuck you're talking about You stopped talking for the fans Hey hold on it's listener's corner Yeah For the listeners of the show I am I care about what the fans Perceived

I know we have three producers in the booth Who don't give a shit They'll just let us do whatever we want One of the microphones can be off the whole show They won't say anything because they're fucking It's yours Midbite he got that good He had a mouthful

And he was trying to be respectful Cookies are Joe's fuel Yeah So anyways I get him in Everything's ready They're excited about Joe lists They're like fucking great

Joe's going to go on a year that you should go. Conan O'Brien, Sebastian, Sarah. Sebastian Bach was there. Skid Row. You're from Skid Row. No way. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Lather pants and everything. And it was a great year to go. And I got the stress factory. Can't cancel the stress. Reschedule. Not cancel it. Reschedule it.

Next week. They don't put a new guy in. They leave that spot open. And it just goes dark for 10 minutes? So then they go to me. I think of Joe List up Sorry, Joe List couldn't make it here tonight 10 minutes of silence

So then they go You're going up blast to me I'm like, dude, I'm not going up after Sebastian What? I go to he... You can't follow Sebastian? Yeah, of course he can But it's not easy.

It's not that. It's, you can He plays the garden. Like a club. I play a 250 city down the street and can't do Thursday. I have to do just. Friday, and see what happens on, see how many tickets we sell. He goes, Bobby, I'm

going to have a sentence that lasts 10 minutes, your mind following it? Buddy, and we kind of do, look, we kind of do family wife shit. You're two pizong. You think you're the same as Sebastian. We're the same genre. That's how you see yourself. With the same genre. Yeah, we do. We talk about

the same shit. He's just being a contrary because that's what he does. And I'll do you one better. He's being an idiot. With a couple different things, luck falls the way it falls. Bobby would be in that position and Sebastian would be in this position. That hurt. I didn't know was going there.

That's a compliment. Yeah, but it didn't go in that position. I'm in this position. In that world, I'm saying you could have been successful. In that world, make that analogy. In this world, if Sebastian was on this show right now, oh, he would elevate the fuck out of this show. I don't understand why Lewis comes in.

Lewis comes in. I'm saying you're equal. I'm going to smash your fingers for bombing. Joe, why are you eating cookies? Hey, I just got a manicure Nobody's hitting the fingers I don't know Noam doesn't want me up in the studio

I said I'm doing Tuesdays at the platform Lewis is suggesting he's superior to you I am being a good friend Welcome to the regs You know what dude He can't do it I can't really either

I'm holding on to the end Here's the thing He but you can tell it to be I'm like please don't I can go up at whatever. If you need me, I'll do it, but you don't need me. You don't need it. Yeah. You got Conan O'Brien. You got Sarah, who's from New Hampshire, Boston area. Who's Sarah? Silverman. For the fans. Sarah Silverman. And then you got...

We have a Sarah that's married to one of the guys at the show. When we say Sarah, I always think Sarah. Do it in the garden? Maybe. Anyways, so, I'm sorry. She does gardening? I can see that happening. She's a sweet woman. I'm sorry, I laughed at that fella. She's from Africa. He deserves a smash for that one. But it did get me. He did gardening. You tickled. It tickled me.

Then Sebastian. Bad guy, Bobby, is just against laughing at my stuff. I love your shit. Don't you ever fucking say that? Dude. Hey, what was the reasoning of why you were going to follow? So I put in a call last week ago, buddy, I don't, there's no need for me. If you need me, I'll do something like that.

I get it. The year that Wanda got booed and then they put Nick DePaolo up right after her. Yeah. It was so funny, dude. 17,000 people. She goes up, does Trump jokes. boo half the crowd blue collar and then Napolit

DePaul goes right after he goes Fuck that fat Clinton Caffed fucking fucking Hillary The whole crowd turns on him Half the crowd Over correction Some lady Some ladies are running to the stage

To tell him to go fuck off He goes look at this fucking Jew from Newton Trying to attack Me and Burr Burr backstage Burr's going up next And I gotta follow fucking Burr After this nightmare

Whatever You need a to come in and do, I get it. You don't need me. I got to go up after him. So at the beginning of the show, this is the worst. Guys, we got fucking, you know, this is, we got Sarah Silverman, whew, Conan O'Brien, boom.

Sebastian Madaskalco. And they say my name. Was it dinosaur on the crowd? Put it right there. Who's doing it? Put it right. Let Joe do it. Let Joe have it.

No, I got one. Oh, it's not a punch. You get a slap. You can't do that. Went too far. You didn't punch my hand. Don't fucking eyes hole. I don't, this is no good.

I'm not doing this. I get too excited to strap me in a fucking pussy. Put your money with your mouth in it. You just yelled, ow, don't do it that way. I got too excited to slam your hand. It's not whack-a-mole,

your fucking child. Jesus Christ. So they say my name and it's like, woo. I think it was my mom. So I'm just like, please. So then they come to me

because they're missing a fucking act. They're not missing. They asked me to do a gig. working. This is very standard. I'm blaming you. They asked me like five weeks out. I'm blaming you. I'm blaming you. I'm blaming you. Everybody would do what I did. I'm blaming

you. So then they go, 10 minutes before I'm going on, they go, hey, we need you to, we need the show to go a little. We need you to do a little more than 20, like 25. Just do what you want after 20. The light's going to... What are they have checks? I'm like, dude. I don't... I don't... Have Sebastian do more time. Have him do more

time. Don't have me... And he's like, now, you're fine. They just This is what I hate about people. They go, you're fine, you're fine. You're going, no, I'm not. I'm telling you I'm not fine. You don't know stand-up. Yeah.

I know stand-up. Why wouldn't Sebastian just do more time? They didn't ask them. Because you're the tried and true. I don't want to be the fucking, I'm done being the tried and true. I know, but party, I want to get serious. Let's get serious. You feel disrespected.

Wait a minute. You want to get serious. You don't, but you feel disrespected. I don't get this fucking thing, this thing, that thing. This is the. This is the ultimate compliment. Everybody wants you to close. I've done it.

30 fucking years, I'm done. But why don't you look at it and say, wow, these people really think I'm the best comic here, the strongest guy. Because I don't believe in myself, Jared is right? I don't love myself. I'm not good enough. Start believing.

No, here's a deal. It's just, it's a better show. People are fan fuckers. They see fame. They love fame. It's a thing. And I'm fine with that. I can go up before him after anywhere.

else in the show. There was a spot in the show I should have went on. Let's put it that way. Okay. I could have went up there, brought the show bang, and then Sebastian would close it. He kills. He kills. He's great. He killed it. And then you end the show on like, hey, we saw the most famous guy last. That's what they want.

That's how comedy should work. And I'll tell you where it does come from. Why didn't it go that way? I talked to them after. And look, I did fine. I didn't bomb at all. But I just my brain, while I'm up there, I'm not having fun. Yeah, because you're going, why am I up here?

I'm up there. I see the 20 minutes go by, and I'm like, fuck. I was done. If it was 20 minutes, I would have been fine. But you're choosing to feel slighted instead of honored. But you're up there and you're like, some new joke came in. I just did it. And it was like, oh, that sucked.

You know what I mean? It wasn't, I do my set when I do that, Chris. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, good night. Sure. I'm out. It was, it was bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Yeah. Bang, bang.

You're giving me anxiety. And then I did the, I did the, I did. one extra joke, I shouldn't, I should have, you know, when you don't close, you ever just not close on the right? Yes. When you're like, that was it, and you go, anyways. When you just end and you go like, I'm, well, what happens is it's not quite as great as you thought, and then your new closer is like a third of the not as good as you thought.

I came back on. It just sucked. You know what I mean? It was a great, look at the show was great. I talked about, dude, everything was great. Everybody, but you know, people don't understand that inside, you know when it's, When you did it, and you know when you didn't. Well, I'll tell you, Stress Factory, I blew the fucking doors out of the place.

Well, you could have blown the doors off the garden. It doesn't sound like it. And this year was the best. It sounds like it was pretty rough for guys who weren't famous. This year was the best merch year ever, too. Is that where you got the hat? No. This is this Boston Scali.

We have a bad guy costumes. Hey, guys, we got the merch from the comics come home mixed up with the bank robbery. So. They had a special designer designed leather jackets for everybody this year. I could have a leather jacket. A leather jacket, but then they gave us all Celtics, Celtics jerseys, Bruins jersey. Then they brought us all into the Bruins locker room and had our jerseys with our names on the bench. I can't wait for next year.

With your name it. I'm the only one who got Cam's number number, because you got to pick your number. Sure. I got number nine. I should have got Happy Gilmore. What was Happy Gilmore? but they gave us all jerseys custom what your name on the back and then they gave us a box of comic come home crazy shit

like this fucking big delivered to your this year was amazing damn yeah next year's but next year's 30 which is probably gonna be even more amazing well I texted I said I'm working but I would love to do it next year and they said we'll keep you in mind that means no I know which to me and I heard Larry Byrd's gonna be there if I have a show and I say can you do it this year would love to have you and you say, no, but I'll make next year a priority. I'd go, you're in for next year.

Ray Bork was there last year. That was great. We lost Lewis. You upset, Louis. Will you apologize to Lewis, please? Louis is not upset. He's fine. What's wrong with you?

He wanted to play, guess how far a drive it is? This is all pops and buzzes for him. Hey, who won the game? This is fine. Who won the game, Danny? How far is it? Talk more about the merch. Oh, it was come home.

What is it? Great. I looked up in Pergano. You got to look it up again. He looked up and forgot it. He stink I mean suck It was 26 hours

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All right, where were we? Danny has some great stories. By the way, you might be in trouble with me. Can we give Danny a story in time right now? Yeah, because I brought up the story about that comic. And then he was like, who told you that? What's his name? Which comic?

Gerard Carmelich. Oh. And he was like, who knows that story? Great story. Oh, he's going to be pissed at me. Yeah. Who's going to be pissed at you? Vinny Brand.

Why? Because he told the story, evidently he wasn't supposed to this. And then the next day, I was like, Vinny, tell me about this story. And he was like, who the fuck told you that? And I was like, Danny Braff. Danny, tell us the story. Tell it on the largest platform you could possibly tell it. That's so funny where he goes, who told you that?

You never want that reaction? It was like cable guy. Who told you that? What is his name? I want it. You never want that reaction when someone tells you a story where they go. How I heard this thing about how you do. Who told you that?

Danny, it's story time with Danny Braff. Danny, come over here. Oh, Danny, this is it. I can't do this now. Yeah, you can. Why? You have to. Turn on some, like, some, like, nighttime music.

Like, you're telling us to give a bedtime story. You just asked him to get music on a show? He can do this. He can't even get the fucking distance between New Orleans and Austin. Do you get it yet? Yeah, I already said 26. He said it. Who won?

Joe. I said 20. I said 24. And I said 24 and a half. You said 23 and a half. maybe you're right then I am right alright look at my finger I don't want to lick your finger

Danny get your ass over here story time come here Danny Joe could have just said hey tell the story I would have said it but now that if I'm going to stop working the club I work a lot I'm not going to do that no you're not going to stop working the club he's fine dude we're plugging the stress fat if he stops working we'll destroy his business

Danny he's not mad at you because you're not the source I'm not kidding we'll make sure that the fans destroy his reviews we'll get his Yelp bucket destroyed social media will docks his family? Say allegedly. You got to, hey, you've got to wear that hat. Hey, Lewis, you've got to wear that hat

in that jacket. Are we not being villains today? First of all, Danny, whoever told you the story is the villain episode. Whoever told you the story would be in trouble. Also, the story does not reflect badly on the stress back. Just tell the fucking Danny. Get over and tell the story.

Joe, you tell it. Nobody's going to care. Vinny Brin doesn't care. Vinny doesn't care about his club, his comics. His daughter. I can't tell it. This is a colleague of mine. This is the reason that Joe couldn't be at the garden?

That would be a different than a hand smash. Buddy, that was just so mean. All right, let's go. Come on, Danny, you little fucking. Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny. Danny. Danny. Oh, buddy, you're up to bat.

This is it. It's a big deal. You get one opportunity in life sometimes. This is it right in front of you right now. Not a chance to blow. It's opportunity to put your hoodie on. Oh, there goes gravity. Oh, he's so mad, but he won't give up, that is...

Oh, there goes Danny. Come on, Rabbit, so retarded. Okay, so... That was easy. I'm going to ruin your life. No, I'm not going to do. Never committed a crime. Come on.

Have him do it right here. He can have my microphone. Danny, come here. I can't do this. Shut up. Stop being a little bit. I'm not going to stop working the club that I work a lot. I'm not, I promise you, Vinny is literally, and I mean this, one of my oldest

friends in comedy, he's not going to stop working the club. He's not that old. He's like 63. Listen, Vinny and me talk all the time. I'll give him a buzz. I talked to Vinny three days a week at least on the phone. I talked to today about...

Lewis is doing a podcast with him starting next month. I actually think it's an incredible story. It's a great story. It's called it on-brand with Louis Chey Gomez. He's such a fucking idea guy. That is a good idea. It is a great idea. You should do that.

Because you have a good Venn diagram. Vind diagram. Oh! Yes. That's the Patriot. If you get kicked out of the stress factory, Lewis is going to get you in at the stand. I'll get you in the stand.

And also, honestly, I'll tell Vinny, we're going to put a kibosh on our podcast. And we can get you a second set at Skankfest this year. Yes. He only got one set? Yeah. Well, I was...

He was complaining about it big time. Wow. Wow. Were you really? He's buying all the way out there. One set you give the fucking guy. I'm going to text Rebecca He's funny.

You can have... Danny Braff only has one set at Skankfest. He's like, make it zero. You can have my legend set at Skank Fest. Let me... Can I should I call Rebecca? I'll call Rebecca.

Yes, right now. He's exaggerated. It's one real set. and then one fish set. What's a fish set? He does a three and a half hour set. He does a three and a half hour set. It's not that great. He does, uh,

we have to pretend. Danny the bathroom. He puts a fish head on and he has a glass of water. That's your choice though? Hey, Rebecca. You're on the regs right now. Hi, Rebecca. Awesome.

So we're trying to figure out why Dan, Danny Braff is complaining that he's only got one set at Skank Fest this year. And he wants to know, and I quote, what is your fucking problem? I didn't know. Oh, I guess my problem is Danny Brass now. Oh. See, Danny, pain displacement.

Now you've got to worry about Rebecca. You're not worried about Vinny. Tell the story. Yeah, tell the story, and we'll fix it. We'll repair you the relationship with Rebecca. Danny, we can make this all go away if you tell this story. Get over here. Danny, get over here right now.

Or you're not going to see. Danny. I swear to God, we'll kick you off Skangfest. I don't know if you know that, Danny. Murder is legal in New Orleans. We'll make it so your flight doesn't take off. I'm going to tell you right now. I'll get down there on Sunday and have you killed by Sunday night.

Okay, I'll tell the story. Yay! Rebecca. Thanks for leaning on them. Thank you so much, Rebecca. We'll see you this weekend. We love you. We love you, bye.

Could we tell the story and just bleep out the name of the person? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the one in charge of doing it, Bobby. Paco didn't even bleep out the N-word last week. He's going to believe this out. This guy's also an N-word. Hey, never interrupt your enemy when he's making a mistake. Okay.

All right, come over here. Oh, okay. Yeah, come in the middle of us. Whose microphones he get? He'll get mine. I'll let him use mine. Danny Braves. For the show.

It's Danny Braff. Squat right here. Danny Braff. He's on camera. Danny Braff. He's on camera. So months ago, Drod Carmichael was headline.

I just had the name. Yeah, there you are. Your profile is garbage. Yeah. Drod Carmich was headlining stress factory at two shows. Early show. He shows at 7 p. He doesn't show up to like 705.

That's above board. He's a headline. Well, we can... Okay, they're not ready. Uninterrupted, can be riffed a little boys? The music's still playing. The screens down, you know, no one's in the sound, but the mic's not on.

Gerard Carmichael walks in the club, doesn't say a word to anyone, doesn't say a word to the host, to the owner, to anyone just walks in, walks on stage, starts talking. What? They're not ready. They're not even close to ready.

The show hasn't started. So he just walks in the room and goes... I like that. I kind of like, that's fucking cool. The video is just playing on his face. They're not even ready. He's going like, man, you know what's crazy about society? It's just a kid falling off a plastic slide on America's funniest videos.

It's like, hey, look at this dog shit in the middle of the supermarket. And Gerard's like, I'm going to tell you why white America can't listen to me. Then, so he says thank he does an hour, 10 minutes, walks off stage. No opener, just no open. There's supposed to be an opener. Opener does not get to walk. Who's the opener supposed to be? I think Vinny.

Who do you think? So he walks off stage. My friend Vinny? Your podcast, he's the man. My podcast partner? My cousin Vinny? That's good. Great film?

One of the best. So he walks off stage, doesn't go to the green room, still doesn't, walks out the building, still doesn't say a word to anybody. This is the coolest shit I've ever heard in my life. So not a single, never talks to anybody. I think this is the coolest thing I've heard of her. I'm doing this from now on.

Next year, Boston, come up, while they're playing the, opening. I'm going to walk on stage. What's up, bitches? Cance is a motherfucker. But who's this? Then he? Hey, get off the stage, janitor. Who are you?

Oh, she'll laugh. Maybe 12 years over here. Aren't you the guy that kills time at the end? The fact that I've been doing it for 12 years and everybody there doesn't know me makes me sick to my stomach. Oh, my God. You should bring a gun next time. So then he leaves. This is the best part. This is good. So he leaves 930s second show.

They're assuming he's going to do the same thing. Yep, absolutely. So Vinnie Brands have their finger on the button. Like, as soon as he gets up there, turn off the screen. They're like watching the door and they go. What I give you the signal, you turn on the mic. So Vinny's waiting at the door for him to do it again. So he's waiting at the 3, 5 minutes after showtime, I'm supposed to start.

He starts walking in again. Vinny stops him and goes, hey, don't do that again. You can go to the green room. We'll turn off the lights down. We'll turn the music off. I'll go up there. I'll give you a proper intro. And he goes, oh, yeah, of course, no problem.

You're good. You're good. And then he walks in and does it again. No way. Then he tries to stop and he goes, he shakes him in that parking off. So you're saying he had no respect for the stress factory. It was insane.

Nor to you. Vinny's apparently pissed to tell him the story. It was literally insane. It's insane. That is the coolest shit I've ever heard in my life. And then he walks off. Again, leaves, doesn't get paid. I mean, I'm sure he got paid.

I'm sure like, you know. Danny's so naive. He thinks if you don't get handed money, you don't get paid. You don't get $50. You don't get $50. make your money. I think they wired him the money.

He left his $65 check. Where is he going to redeem those drink tickets? If he leaves the venue, you can't use... Thank you, Danny. So, wait, why did Vinny get mad at you? Because he's not supposed to... I guess I told Joe... I wasn't aware...

But he said, I told... He's Joe... I wasn't aware that it was a secret, and I guess I told Joe and then... No, no, no, no. I'm busting your ball. I said, Vinnie, tell me this Gerard Carmichael's story, and he said, who told you that story? I told so few people that story.

And I said, Danny... braff. It is crazy. And he said, wow, I can't believe he knows that story. So people will know. And then he told me the story. It's crazy. Is that exactly the same story? That's it. Because I wanted to know, I'm like, is this the story? You know, he said, I only told this people that I think very little of.

Kissed Lewis. Kiss Lewis. Did not. Do that. Not everyone else has herpes. We're not worried about spreading diseases. I genuinely, genuinely didn't like it, but Joe's reaction made me love it.

I was so fucking dainty. It really was weird. It really was weird. Danny, do you only have one set or you choose of one set to do a character in your other set? Well, no. I would rather, I would rather do two normal sets. He has to do the fish thing. I thought the fish thing was going to be a bonus.

Yeah, he has to do this. So you were trying to fucking outsmart Rebecca Anchorsi. Wow. Outsmart. He should have a third set. Get him a third set. He just told the story. What is this fish thing?

buddy listen if it bombs it's great if it does great it's great it's an important festival yeah it is and you should have a guy

with a fish head on pretending to be a fish it's on column Joe tune the umbrella it made me laugh thanks buddy all right thank you I'll try to get you another set Tammy

try why don't we have them warm up for the regs the warm up set yeah oh I love that you want to warm up for the reg Sunday night 8 o'clock

baby let's have them do 30 minutes exclusively With 20 minutes And he's like Can I get the fish head Ah please I'm a fish

But let's do 20 minutes of the rags And then have him do 20 minutes Done Nice You're in Danny You got another set Thank you So it really is set up

And that's a hot show That's gonna be a way better show Than we should have Paco Danny and Joe All do like five minutes each To warm up I love that Oh not five give him

10 each Give him 10 each 10 each 30 minutes of horseshit Before you know 10 each anyone Hey you're right insane dude you're right

six to seven joe needs to go around the room and ask people breakfast lunch and dinner he can't just get five are you going are you going to skankvis no i'm not going all right so we'll give him seven minutes each pocket we're seven there we go so funny joe was like oh he's going to invite me he said all right we'll give the other two seven what a dick we can come but i'm a little late in the game to decide that you're going to ask him they didn't ask you no no he should come nobody asked danny bobby asked for danny i'd ask for both of them you're a good person They've ignored Joe?

Miao. Yeah. Well, Joe went last year. So it like a car speeding back? Mian. Joe went last year. Hey, can I ask you this? Was it in Vegas three years or two years?

Three years, Vegas. Why do I not remember them? First year, first year ever in New Orleans is going to be a similar layout to Houston. Four stages plus the ring. Sick. When's the 20-1? Now, Sunday.

Now, Lewis. That's when I get there. Lewis. Thank you for putting that on that day. Mr. Gomez. Are you nervous about people coming in there? though, because... I'm nervous about getting there on Sunday.

I'm nervous to get... I'm leaving Wednesday morning very early. I'm very nervous, obviously. I thought you said it's settled. But it is... The government shutdown's over. The government shutdown is over, but it's like, when can they get the funds

to the air traffic controllers? When is the FAA going to clear? They're going to give all their back pay. They're all getting paid, so that should help them, and they're all going to get their money. But when are they going to get it? I'm going to jump in the car and drive...

If my flight gets canceled, I'll jump in my car and just drive down. What day? Wednesday? Wednesday afternoon. So maybe Thursday we'll do the same thing. How long does it take to get 12 hours? So do I have to that.

I'm on the road. Not you. Maybe me and you. I leave tomorrow morning. Oh, you leave? You're going to tomorrow morning. I'm beating Lewis there. Yeah.

Why are you going there early? His film and directing a film. You're fucking in it. You just did it. Bobby gave us an amazing interview. So like I'm dealing with it on Thursday. I got to get to Iowa City, but I'm supposed to fly Minneapolis to then Cedar Rapids. And they're telling me already, like there might be a chance Cedar Rapids is gone,

so I have to drive Minneapolis to Iowa City. Which I'm doing. the next day anyway. What do you mean gone? Like the... It's in the water. It fell into the earth. It got blown up. No, but they're saying like the flight to Cedar Rapids is probably... That's the one

that's going to get canceled. If it does this week. Yeah, this weekend for all comedians were fucked. And then this will then... Sunday, I'm going, Madison, Wisconsin, to Atlanta, Atlanta, to New Orleans. I got to go Monday to Canada. That's the one. That's where Ian Fidance is stuck. He was stuck in Toronto.

Yeah. So yeah. Where are you going in Canada? Toronto. Toronto. Toronto. Toronto. I think we're going to be okay. Yeah, we're going to be all right. The comedy gods will smile upon us. It worked well. This weekend when I went down to Texas, I was fine.

We're going to be great. If you don't have the lounge fucking thing and you're stuck at the airport all day, that must suck. Having to sit in those stupid chairs. At least the lounge, you get to go fucking fall asleep. Super relatable. Get eggs.

No, that's why it's not relatable. Are you in lounge life? This is leather jacket Bobby. He talks about loungers. It talks about fancy cigars. Sometimes you got it to be in the, I must be your favorite. I got a fencer that can use before. I never

come in. I never have another gig. Skank Fest. I am there. Every year. You're, you're, every minute. You, honestly, you don't get enough credit as being like, part of like the hardcore skank fest. What is this? What is this? Agree. What the fuck is this? Agree. No,

what are you doing? I started the fucking cigar lounge that everybody loves. You're not going to make it. You're never going to make it. I got you from Iowa City. Dan comes in for exactly two hours. every year. That's true. First off,

I've done it for 10 years. And I fucking did one day last year. Me and Joe. One day this year. I had a fucking tour planned. And then you drop Skankfest on it and I'm still doing it. You know, I can't.

I'm still doing it even though I already had a tour. I canceled shows this weekend. DeRosa and everybody when I was saying like, yeah, I'm going to Skangfest on Sunday. DeRosa's like, what are you doing? It's freaking out right now. I'm furious. Yeah, put the hat on. I block off the month.

Yeah, put the hat on. Be angry, Dan. Be badass Dan. Wow, put the glasses on. I'm going to say it's so big. Like a Jew. I plan. I listen.

Time and wrong. I have a tour. There's these people, some of my cousins, you know, they put it together, whatever, whatever.

We go to the thing, we do the jokes. I'm coming to skank fest. Squintfest. He's schweitzing that I'm not there on time. Dude, I'm coming in. I'm fighting.

I'm just saying. You're just saying what? Joe's there. Joe's a clock. Joe is licking your ass right. Joe hasn't missed a day of Skank Fest in nine years. Are you out of you, a fucking... Those are gold-plated.

Yeah, dude. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just because Joe's kissing your ass, don't make me... Does I kiss my ass. Joe loves him. I live the life. He lives a life.

I live the life, too, guys. Bobby hasn't missed a moment of Skank Fest. Not a moment. And I try to... The contribution. God bless all of you. The fucking cigar lounge. I made it bigger and bigger every year with the help of Rebecca.

Yeah, what is your contribution? Where's the Dan Soder fucking... Hoist room. The riff room. Yeah, where's the... You can go on with Dan, get the riff with him. Where's the voition? $35, you go to the roof room.

Okay, what are you? A nice shirt, yeah, fucking... All right, let's go. What are we got? I think I wear glasses because I don't... I can see. A $5 rift room with Dan.

He's just sitting in the room. They're coming to the curtain, and I go. Can we do that? Hey, what's up, man? What's going on? Like a peeping Tom show. Like a peep show. It comes up.

You get a minute. They're just sitting there smoking a joint. I go, where are you from? I'm not going to a lot. Riffroom's a great idea, man. Next year at Skankfest at the 10 years, we're going to do a riffrope. We're talking about locations for 10 years. Okay, but I think we're leaning toward one.

Oh, I want to know. Give us, give us, give us a little bit. Tampa. The riff room might have to happen. Where is it? Is it south? Not Tampa. Is it south?

Is it on land? It's south of us right now. Gotta be warm. It is on land. Great. I love that. Is it the warmth? Is it Caribbean?

Not. There's Caribbean people that live there, I think. Philadelphia. Hot Lanna. Hot Lanna. No, that's the worst comedy city I've ever been to. What? Miami and Atlanta are my least favorite.

I love it. Miami's the worst. Miami is the worst. Is it? Number one with a bullet. The stand, we're like, we're going to go open another comedy club in Miami. Of course you are. Good luck.

Yeah, you're just going to have models who just read off their phones. Is it, is it, is it, can you tell us the state? Phoenix. Phoenix is not a state. No, I'm guessing the city. What's the state? Let's guess the state. I say Florida.

No. Ohio. I'll tell you, it's not guaranteed, but we're talking about 10th year anniversary. Boston. Rimes with Boston. Austin, Texas. Rimes with Austin. Coston.

Coston. Me money. Ohio. No, awesome. We're talking about Austin for the 10 year anniversary. What? Why, Joe? What is your problem?

I get to get Cisco's. I'm pumped about that. It's a big, it's a big comedy town. It'll be the biggest one we ever do. Is that the biggest one we've ever done? It's overrated. Okay. You were in Austin this week?

Yeah. Nice. I liked it. I love Austin. You don't have to come. I'm not saying I don't like Austin. I'm going to go. What's your problem with Austin?

Fine. Well, Austin is already this big. I have a good conversation right now. A little bicker in between them. I don't give a shit. Can we do a show at Shane's house? Can we do a show at Shane's pool? Can we go swim at Shane's pool?

Let's all walk to Rogan's house. Breach the walls. Make World War Z shit. Rogan's like, what the fuck is going on? I've never seen so many guys in Maryland Manson shirts coming over the wall. His armed security team would just start picking people. Danny, you can have a headline set. Danny Joe Paco, you can all have your own headline set at the 10th year anniversary in Austin.

If you make it to Rogan's doorbell and ring it. Ding dong it. him. Oh, if you ding-dog and ditch, Rogan with proof, he's going to look like Sonny and the godfather. It's not possible. He's going to be, he's going to bring that doorbell back. But Danny's not going to die. He goes, Mr. Rogan, I should tell you, I have the ability to heal. Can I push on my fish head on your show? And he goes, God, what is this, man? Danny just comes up with arrows and pulls up with arrows and you're making me angry.

Guys, I did it. A broken personally shoot him in the neck with an arrow. He looks, he goes, open it, open it. The only way to kill him is to strike him in the heart with his arrow. He does a set like Steve Martin. When are you guys going to know? Can we do something like this with the new guys at Skagfest 10 in Austin? Shoot them with arrows.

Make them do some fucking crazy shit to get stage time. Make him earn it. Especially than the women. Yeah. The young women comics. Let's make them earn it. That's nuts. That's nuts.

bit of this. Oh, go. What are you doing? What they got a blow me? Dude, imagine it was like that, dude. You are dressed like a man. First of all, it used to be. We can get sucked for stage times.

I'm not doing that room. What do you think? Joe DeRose is still doing that. I'll do the rip room. I'm not doing sucked for stage. Dude, sucks stage. Joe de Rose is still on that, man. What are you out of your mind?

You ever see Joe at an open mic? What are you doing here? What are you doing? Signing up. I think we should make you do. Are there any new young hot comics? Yeah. Physically hot?

Yeah. Who are they? Joe, you know. little perv. A couple of fucking perv. A couple of young boys at the cellar. Sick fuck. Yeah, that's why you're dressed like you can run away because you want to peep at them. I don't know any young female comics.

Who's a hot, Danny Braff, who's a hot young female comics? Who's like the hottest new one? Sienna, Hubert Ross? She's not young. Bring her out. She's hot. She's hot. Let's bring her out. She's hot. There's a pretty All right. Horny single Lewis is a

mother-bucking problem. We're going to put him down in the bayou? You're going to put a hornet Lewis down in the Orleans? He's like comics we say. We can't do this. We can judge him. You have no idea how much pussy.

Lewis is about... You're afraid of the gaiters. Be afraid of the Lewis Gator Gomez. Watch out. Watch out, ladies. A skank fence and a crocodile. You're going to tape his dick down to his leg. I've never seen a Mexican man have so many lovers.

I'm Puerto Rican. New Orleans is going to be great. Are we going to get Beny's with me at Café Dumont? I've been gay. I'll do that. Ben Gay. What is it Benet? It's like a donut.

It's a New Orleans donut. They put powdered sugar on it with the coffee. It's really good. Sometimes you dip it in chocolate. They got great. They got great food. No, they have side chocolate. You want to get gumbo with me or jambalaya?

I'll do jambalaya. There's a couple places I'll know down there. Oh, look at these. I'm a fan of Jumbra. Those are those. The only time I go to New Orleans I got those yesterday Eat you have bignets yesterday

Yeah You're not even in New Orleans He's just got him He's prepping I'm prepping I'm prepping I'm prepped my stomach I need a week of prep time

So I can do some real damage I had a really good turtle soup Last time I was there What are you shredder? What fuck who is the turtle soup It's not a New Orleans thing That's a fucking poor person thing It's delicious

He goes you guys ever You guys ever have a rainwater soup Pretty good I had some down in the ninth ward New Orleans has got awesome food It's one of the best food cities It's got awesome food but also has Shitty food

What do you mean? In the tourist section You don't get the jambalai You don't get the shit of it You gotta go to the right place to get New Orleans food Because if you don't Go to Norman's neighborhood

Bad jambalai is fucking gross Yeah There's a it's an eating city It's one of the best Are you gonna do a ghost tour at all? Let's do that at night Like all of us They're great

I would love to go A comic ghost tour Sunday night Can we do that? Sam Kirsten. That's how I'm going to attack my victims. Ah, you go, welcome. The castle Golmes. I want to suck your pussy.

My name is Lewis. Yeah, no, I don't think we're of time for any of that. Are we supposed to suck? Lewis, Lewis, we're not going to do that. You suck the clip, baby. You suck on the clit, dog. And you lick it.

You can't if you want to. Just an egg comes out. She goes, I go, look how skinny you look. Yeah, dude, you suck on the wrong part and then you play with the two, like, heavy dangly. And then you get the cream The love cream Love cream

Oh dude oh my god She's squirting so much Oh my god She's such a squirt or Bad bitch's ghost to her I'm out What is this? We should go there and heckle them

Are they do it I need a guy with translucent skin Joe Yeah Joe can you leave a ghost tour? Huh? He doesn't have translucent skin You have beautiful shit

Yeah, tan too It's a little red You do tan very well Thank you You do tanning? No In the summer I tan it gets a good bronze

You want to hear my input on this Austin idea? Please. Well, Austin now is one of the big three comedy cities. New York, L.A., Austin. Austin's already a comedy thing. Austin comedy. Rogan, Tony, Shane, Austin.

The great thing about Skangfuss is you seem to go to cities that aren't already this thing, and you take over. Vegas is not like a comedy city. New Orleans is a comedy city. Yeah, I know what you're saying. I just, I don't think that matters. We did it in New York. We could do it in Elie.

LA. We could do it in any of the big comedy cities. We did it three years in a row. LA. What about Denver? You ever thought about Denver? Honestly, New York, L.A., and all sort of the three that we're looking at. What about Boston? We also talked about doing it, this would be crazy, doing bi-coastal? Two weekends in a row, yeah. Do one New York, one L.A. and do two different weekends. We wouldn't be stressed out over that. We wouldn't be fucking losing our minds over that. I definitely didn't commit all 18 days to do it. Heaven forbid I have a fucking the show of my own. It's all the same people.

Skankfest, 2026. It's the whole year. I go, what is this? I can't do this. Lewis goes every weekend, Thursday to Sunday. I need you there. We're doing riff room.

We're doing kiss room. We're doing rub room. What about international? What about international? Dude, Skankfest, Tokyo would. Hot night. Oh, Skagmas! That'd be the announcement.

We talked about Amsterdam as well. Amstername is a perfect town. It's about finding the right venue. Amson is, they do festivals in Amsterdam. I know. What about Scotland? That would be great. Up on the highlands.

What about Ireland? Top of the morning. Who are these people smoking meth and fat beans? What about Africa? I don't want you here. You say a word that offends the blacks there, but not me. What about Russia? This is our festival now.

You call it that festival? This is festival. You think this bad festival? Yes. Yes, I do. I think Amsterdam should be the one you do. Amsterdam's the shit. We should do that.

Or New Amsterdam. Hey, we're here. Hey. I'm so hungry right now. Me too. Me too. Cookies. Let's go another Starbucks run.

I can get some more cheese. I can use another Starbucks. I'll do another nibble of one of these crispy cookies. What about? I'm not eating your scraps every time. I did it once. Go and do it again. No.

Did you eat the cookie? Yeah, because I just wanted a little bit of one because they are very good. If it's down to New York, Austin, L.A., Austin's the one. What's that? Starbucks order? Just a coffee with a little bit of cream and one pump of sugar for you.

I'm good. I don't need anything. Oh, you know what? Get me one of those spinach feta wraps. Please. Please. And Paco. I'm just going to get a media.

Just give me a small ice coffee with cream. Thank you. It's one of my feasting days today. We know. One of your feasting? Alternate day fasting now. Is it working? Yeah, it looks like it.

Hey, who's doing the naked roast? I don't know. Damn it. Last year, I couldn't even get in. It was crazy. Karen Fian is judging. Whee-Nell is judging. I'll be there.

Rent is easy judging. You're going to come out of the... You're going to come down from the roof like Sting. Who else can we get the judge? Would you ever judge, Joe? You did the naked show back in the day. You did it end's like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, slowdown. That's great.

One second. You did the naked show back today. Did you just fucking pause us? Go fuck you see. Well, I want to hear what he's saying. Well, you'll hear it after. You guys, you've been having your own cross conversation every time. I did a good joke, and Dan got it because you were talking over it.

It's our other podcast. It's called cross talk. Yeah. People subscribe inside of the race. You don't fucking hold us down. To listen. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're doing an ad read for cross talk.

We're trying to have a conversation on the race. Don't forget to go to Factor Meals.com for Crosstalk. Come cross talk, okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. Cross talk is a great idea for a podcast. Hold on. Hold on.

Oh, wow. Oh, would you look at that? We get two podcasts at the same amount of time. What if I told you I put a podcast in another podcast? Well, that's twice the t-shirts. We're sitting on a gold mine. I can't stand. I'm jumping to a nation.

I never thought about putting a second podcast with the first one. It's a brilliant idea. You could technically do a third podcast. than that part. Don't you understand? You can stack them to the sky. Skagfish will be over in one day. Well,

Skagfish could be all the time. Well, we're in skankfish. Soder, give me your money. Where's your ticket, Dad? You're going to need to give me $600.

Well, dude. I'm decided for the Starbucks run, though. Yeah, Starbucks is a great Let's do some plugs right quick. Plug it up. We're reset them right now.

other stuff to talk about. Oh, they finally got to me about the stories for tomorrow. I was like, when are you guys going to ask? There we go. Trouble is the topic. Is it? Oh, I like that. I like that.

I'm going to think it's a good one. Come see me live on the road, guys. I got a few dates coming up for the rest of the year. December 6th, December 5th and 6th, I'll be in the lab at Zanis in Nashville. Very excited about that. New Year's Eve. Real-A podcast reunion at the attic comedy club. We're doing a live stand-up show, me and Zach Miko,

plus special guests, 730, then a live podcast and countdown at 1030. then that weekend, I'll be at the comic club, Columbus, Ohio, Miami'sburg, Ohio, Batavia, Illinois, coming up as well in January, and a bunch more dates. Go to Lewis of Skanks.com. Check out my special on YouTube. I've got three specials on YouTube, actually. Go give it a click and a play and a comment and all that good stuff. Make sure you check out all my other podcasts that I do. Story Wars, The Legion of Skanks, my solo podcast.

And pre-order my book. It's coming out in March. Knives and Spoons available for Pre-Oder right now. At Skank Fest, we're doing. We are on Sunday. Did you get it? Part of it. I'm 4 p.m. baby, that's the thing I'm doing.

Very exciting. Nives and Spoon is live. I'm not sleeping the night before, so I told them, I was like, can I please take a nap, like a three-hour nap? So they're like, oh, first thing you're on, it's 4 p.m. And I was like, what's fucking good. Beautiful. You know what is it? Knives and Spoon's reading.

So they're going to read chapters from the book, but it's going to be like in a pot. It's a real-ass podcast for you. I love it. So it'll be Zach and you and him. I'm not in it? You should be because you did the forward. Yeah, you think? Fucking dick, ward.

I'm going to go to punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly for all my dates. Comedy Connection, November 21st and 22nd. Then I'm at Uncle Vinnie's in Point Pleasant on the 60th, what is it, the 5th and 6th. And McCurdy's back down in Tampa, near the Tampa area of the west side of Florida, the 16th and 17th.

And then Laugh-It-Up Comedy Club, the 23rd and 24th. I'm all over the place. Comedy Works, Denver. I'm excited to go back to the... there. I'm back in, baby. Yeah, dude. And, of course, the Comedy Vault in Batavia, Illinois, all my dates, punchup.com live slash Robert Kelly. My special's up there right now, uh, Robert Kelly live from the village underground, and my other specials on YouTube.com slash at Robert Kelly comedy on YouTube.

There you go. Joe. The shutdown isn't over. You guys lied. No, they're, they're shutting it down. They all, the Democrats crossed over. They're figuring it out. It takes a few days for it to, they have to go back in and figure all the details up. But it's ending. Yeah. Three minutes ago. It's not over. Okay. What does this come out? The 19th? What day? Tomorrow? What is this come out?

This coming out in like two weeks. Two weeks. Yeah. So forget about the... This one's after Skankfuss. Oh. All right. Well, December 4th through the 6th, I'm in Lexington, Kentucky. And D.C. Is D.C. passed? I have no idea. Vegas. January 15th and 16th, Wise guys. I'm excited for that.

I have four specials YouTube and a movie on punchup called Tom Dustin Portrait of a Comedian and Asheville, North Carolina, Charlotte, North Carolina. This is the first time I've ever seen these dates. And Atlantic City, San Francisco. Wow, Cobbs. All right. This is unbelievable. Cobbs rules. This is great news. I like the other one better. I like the little small. I like the smaller one better too. When Cobbs is full. I mean, you could say that about all my drinks. Yeah, you're right. No, but even full, I still like a small rule. Yeah, the comedy character is good one is full. Comedy connection rules all the time. And when it's not.

Cori and Day rule. Yeah, they're the best. Vancouver, Canada. All these clubs are pretty cool when they're half full. Yeah. Vancouver. I'm going to be at the Vogue Theater, December 5th, Saturday, December 6th. Eugene Oregon, I'm going to be at the McDonald Theater.

I know it's the Big Ten Championship, but please come out. I understand you guys love Oregon, but this is the only time I'm going to be there. And then December 13th, I'm going to be at the Royal Oak Theater in Royal Oak, Michigan. just announced the second leg of the tour starting in March. Going to be Boston, Philly, Oklahoma City, Dallas and Houston, a bunch of other dates. All theaters. Yeah, DanSoter.com for tickets. Somebody's about to pop.

YouTube.com. Please subscribe to my channel, and I love you. Thank you very much. Goodbye. All right. And we're back. What's up? And we're back.

I want a cookie so bad. I don't want it. I can't have it. That veggie wrap, though. That's going to be here soon. And then you're going to eat that? you're going to feel a lot better. I'll feel a lot fucking better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How much fucking you're going to do this week? None. The fuck up, dude. I'm going to fuck. I'm going to fuck. My wife's coming. I'm going to fuck.

Not if she's fucking you. What, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, no, no. Give me that cookie. Lewis, I want that cookie. Pucko. Just take cookies. I love the other half of your picture. I want that cookie, too.

You don't get to just take cookies. Personally, you should ask. Yeah, you can't walk through the camera and just take... I want that cookie, too. I want the rest of the cookies. I'll take a chocolate chip. Yeah, take the chocolate chip. But you know what?

Because I've only had three. Paco can have a walklet. No, I want that cookie, too, dude. I'm sorry. Walklet chip. Take that too. No, wait. No, no one.

Give Paco a cookie. We're just kidding, Popco. Yeah, we're kidding. Obviously, you can have the one that I bet. It's like, you can have the one. Paco, here, take this one. I'm sorry. Paco's boxing in the 20-man battle royale.

Yeah, he was telling me that. I'm excited to watch that. Who else is in that? Tell me about that. We've got 20 different comedians. We're maybe, hopefully comedians. We're probably going to run out of comedians. Who is it?

20 versus one. So it's Royal Rumble rules. Every minute a new person comes out. Oh, brother. It's so fun. Oh my God. If I was in somewhat shape, I'd participate in that. Dude, it doesn't mean you're going to be in shape.

Dude, worst case scenario, you could just take cheap shots at Paco and then take a knee and then get out. You'd be like a bad guy in the 80s in wrestling where they were terrified. Yeah, and then just take one person out and then slide them to the bottom rope and go, I wasn't eliminated. How are you eliminated? If you get knocked down, if you take a knee, if you get knocked out, obviously, if the ref stops it.

Knocked out. Knocked out, yeah. So people are swangling it. I can wait to watch this. But me, naeem. Naeem can box. Is he black? No.

He's Irish. Ellis is going to do a surprise appearance as well. We weren't telling people that El is doing it, but now that this comes out after. Yeah. Ellis is doing it. Oh, my God. He can punch hard. He can punch very hard.

So you want to get chosen number 20. Who knows when I'm going to get chosen? It's wrong. You fucking rigged piece of shit. Go flare 93. Go flare 93. Go one. Oh, please.

Go number one. Go the gauntlet. And then I'll be your Bobby Heenan. And then we can interview with your hair all fluffed up after. Hair. What do you think the chances that Ari shows up are? None. No, he's in, um, I wouldn't say good.

What's at? I would say right now 50-50. I'm going to see if he's what's at. me recently. He's, um, I talked to him recently. He sends me random ass long WhatsApps. Oh shit, I'm calling him. I don't want to do that. Call him up. Should I call him? Yeah, call him. See if he picks up. He's in the fucking Amazon jungle right now. Oh, he sent me a message and then deleted it. Oh, no. Whoa. What a weirdo. Probably a photo of his chick. It's been for me.

Okay, guys. Um, yeah, he's in the Amazon jungle. He's coming. Yeah. He's going to be there. I don't think he'll come. He's not. I don't think he's going to randomly come. He's going to have to take a bush plane to a boat, to another plane. Were you, I mean, I know we're looking at the shutdown being like, were you like shit in blood there for a second, especially last,

because last week they were really. What's that audio? Is that Ari? Oh, that's Ari. Oh, yeah. Ari. You're live on the regs right now. Oh, I'm taking a break from this stuff.

Okay, bye, Ari. Bye. I told you he wasn't going to want to be on that. All right. But by the way, we did get his last podcast appearance of 2025. Well, with the legs? Yeah. Just now.

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Santa competition. Let's talk. Bobby, put the phone away. What are you doing? I talk to Lewis. Shut up, dude. You don't fucking talk to me that way.

You don't talk to me that way. I'm doing you. I talk to you that way. I literally do it. I'll deal with it. You'll get over. I talk to Lewis. Dan,

I try to have your back. You're my man. I always want to be on your side. Lewis manipulated me. I like to bring your own Santa. I don't. I like the bring your own Santa. Let me say this.

Let me say this. Hold on, Joe. You're such a piece of shit. You're first of all. Why is everyone afraid of Dan? Dan's a lunatic. If you ever have to call Dan without good news... We like Dan.

If you ever have to call Dan without good news? It's you. No. Bobby calls me all the time. I've never ever... Dan ever had an incident with Dan ever. How pleasant are phone calls us? It's not an incident.

If I call him, I just... When I call you, it's almost like the most loving phone call ever. If I have to call Dan and ask him for anything at all. This is... Okay, so now we're getting to why. Anything at all. It's never... It is met with...

What did I call his last week? Disdain. No, I'll tell you. I'm going to tell you this right now. This Dane Soder. Hey, it's defense. Dan, I called him last week. He was like, what's up?

What do you want? I was like, I was just calling to say hi. He's like, okay, all right. I didn't, I thought you wanted something. No. Yeah. I just called this. Let me tell you right now.

Please. You specifically, I get very defensive. Please. And I always assume you're coming for something. I'm not, but I'm never, I'm always never coming for anything. You always want something. What was last time you called one of your friends just to say hi? I did it last week with Dan.

And I did it with Joe. I do it with you very often. Joe, I've done it with you pretty recently. Yeah, I think so. Okay, good. You guys weren't talking about picking your own soon? Picking your own? No, we were talking about other stuff, but I like the-staff.

But it came up. You're fucking pieces of shit. I like a-priced-stant. He has a timer. All right. It's a friendship. Business time. It's business time.

What are you? Business. It's my business-al-law. Sorry, business, business. I got to find out some business stuff. So usually what we've done for the past few years for Yankees Swap is in Secret Santa is we get a special Santa Claus. We've had Tim Dillon. We've had fucking Louis C.K. Louis C.K., yeah. So last year

we couldn't find a specific Santa Claus that we were excited about, so we decided to do like, everyone bring your own Santa. Sure. We'll have them compete to be the Santa Claus. I think we just couldn't agree on a Santa. No, we couldn't get one. We tried one with any real, but we also tried it like a week before. Yeah. We got four. We could have got somebody. No, no, but here's, we couldn't

get anyone that was like a special guest. Oh my God. We wanted an oh my God, holy shit. I can't believe you So, but that's okay. And then we ended up doing our version of that, which was we all brought our own Santa. And I thought it ended up being very funny. I thought it was very funny. It was interesting.

It was different. It was an element of competition. What? What is what is happening right now? Who was that element competition? Who fucking said it was not funny? Dan doesn't want to do it. You don't read the text messages for the group. No, I don't have time in my fucking life. Because you're bad guy, Bobby now. Bobby, all I said is. No, I just don't have the fucking

essence to suck my life. out. Let me do. I can't. You guys will work it out. And when you need me, you'll go, what do you think? And I go, great. So let me give you context. Yeah. Lewis said, hey, this year again for the Christmas episode, we should do bring your own Santa's again. And I said... And your text messages are too

long. And I said, I don't really think I want to do that bit again. I think we did the bit last year. Let's do something else this year. And then these two suck each other off and came up with their own idea. You said it's sharper than that. You're like, no. Yeah. You shut it down. First of all, like, you make

the decisions for the whole group. I didn't say that at all. I said my opinion. Dictator, damn. Not at all. Here we go. This is what Lewis does. He tries to paint you in a corner.

He tries to get us against you. Do you see, because I literally was going to like a dictator dad, Dictator dad, everyone. Do you understand when I, when I, when I explained, when DeRosa was like, wait, you're on the road this week, so you're not doing all scanning fest? I'm like, no, I'm going on Sunday. He goes, God, Lewis manipulates in such fabulous ways.

He's like, I would have bailed. Tony was like, I wouldn't go. We were, like, sitting there, and then. Cool. Can I say something, though? I'm glad you guys are conspiring against me. We're not conspiring against you. Thanks, Dan.

Thanks, Dan. We're telling two other headliners that they don't have to do the whole weekend next year. I didn't say that at all. So when Tony and Joe weren't there next year. I just want everyone to know it's because Dan is getting the idea into their heads. Do you see this is, Bobby, this is what he does. I'm trying to, I'm telling De Rosa. Dan, I'm pointing out what you said.

I'm telling De Rosa that I love Lewis so much that I'm going on Sunday to do the regs. And Joe's going, I don't love Lewis that much. And I go, well, I do. And then you turn around, you go, soda doesn't fucking give a shit. So there's a piece of shit. I'm fucking moving to earth to get to you, and you don't even fucking appreciate it. You just go, yeah, you're supposed to do that. It's like, I'm not supposed to do that.

You don't have to do skankfish. Put the hat on. I don't fucking. Put the head on. I love you. You're not doing it. You're not doing it. I love doing it.

If you don't want to do skankfish, you don't have to do it. I'm out. Okay. No, we need you. I'm out. I'm out. No, if you wonder why I wasn't there. We need you.

I'm out. We need you. You ass-kiss and fuck. I always sit at the cigar tight with you two fucking asshole. Why am I a fucking asshole? You're great. You've been great. Thanks. You've been great.

You've been great. You're a little fucking... I think... I don't like this. Can I say something in your defense? I don't like, because I love you. And all you do is you go. So who will we get for Santa?

Why don't I sound like Chris Rock? We've got to get a Santa. Chris Rock is Santa would be great. There's Santas and there's elves. And the elves have got to go. I never thought I would find myself loving your Chris Rock. Oh, thank you. I do a lot of Chris Frock.

Where are we doing it? I don't know. Village Underground. We'll sell it. We can sell it. The Village Underground, we did it there before, and it sucked. No, we did it at that. We did it, no, first of all.

We did it the fact like we didn't do it. No, we didn't do it. The comedy bar, and the comedy bar stinks. Can I? For comedy. I hate it. Can I make a point? You do the Village Underground.

We've killed it there before. Hang on a second go. The Village Underground sells out on its own, completely packed every single night. We can hold it first. We can hold it. Can we hold it? Yes.

We didn't hold it. We didn't understand it. We don't want to do the comedy bar. We want to do the Village Underground. And we say, hold the tickets for three days. Let us sell. And we tell all our fans, you have three days to get the tickets. We're going to need to literally do it on this episode.

So guys, we'll put it out as a pre-roll. Yankee swap. We can put an ad out in front of any show we do. A couple weeks before. So we're doing it at the VU. Now, let's get back to the Santa. Let's ask, and then if we can't, we'll find another venue. What's your pitch on why we should do competing Santas again?

I thought it was funny. I think not only, this is my thought. Not only should we do competing. We should do, frankly, we should do my idea from last year, but we take some of the budget we pay them. We have the Santa's come and roast us. Do a roast. Santa roast. Now, that was a fucking thing that you added in.

That's what I said, my idea. I also did it as well as Zach and Ron came in. And they killed. But I think it's kind of that But you're adding With that you're adding a fucking job To the Santa They can do it

If you want to book somebody That's going to do that Then do that I think having our own Santa It's a fun We can do a funny thing with them regardless But if two do it I'm getting Kevin ready

To be my Santa then It's fantastic It's a great Santa I'm not gonna lie It's pretty great I'm getting already lying But here's my point And I said this to Lewis

And I'm gonna name drop Your boy Conan O'Brien said this to me one time On the show He said I love him We have standups in the show Because we know It's five minutes of joke-heavy minutes of the show.

If we get people to do a roast, that's 20 minutes of show that's going to be jokes. Conan did stand-up at comics come home. I heard that. 10 minutes. He took my spot. Fucking killed it. Killed it, too. Yeah?

Yeah. Anyways, you get five, four guys to come in and roast it up and if they bomb, we go, oh, you suck, you piece of shit. He's got to ask somebody to. Yes. And they get to do it. And they go for your show. And we pay them. And it gets hurt.

How much are we going to pay them? I don't know, 100 bucks. I gave Ron on 100 bucks. It's pretty good. You don't have to. I'm just saying it. Versus a big Santa. Do we want a big Santa or four little?

I don't mind. I like the idea of everybody gets their own Santa. I love the competition of it. It was kind of funny. It was coming around. It adds four more comics that people love to see in the show, which I do. I don't mind it. People love to see run on.

You can't get the same Santa. Okay. You have to get a different Santa. Is that the rule? That is the rule. You can't, we can't just do the same fucking show every year. You got to get a different Santa. You could take, but if you got Zach, I think that'd be fine.

Well, why are you so against this? I'm not. I'm softening. He's coming around. This is what? We're getting them. Lewis, if you ever want to pitch something to Dan, you tell me. Yeah, if you ever want to tell us Dan something, you tell me a Joe and we'll tell him.

And if I find out it came from you, I will shut it down to me. Don't be upset. Oh, fuck. We're going to edit that other shit out. Louis. No, no, I'm not upset. Not editing anything out. I know Lewis.

Edit shit out. Yeah, we always do. No, we don't. Don't tell that. You can't say that. Now we're going to edit that. Damn it. We're not going to edit that.

Now this. Now we're going to edit this. This is black people. Oh, could do that again. I think that we all get a different Santa. He said they don't edit that part out? We all get a different Santa. You're okay, babe.

And we can add the roast. fucking Joe list. I don't like the roast, though. I don't either. Don't do the roast then. Yeah, but your guy... What are they going to do? What are they going to do instead? Exactly. We're creative. We fucking... We let them do their thing.

What does that mean? We want. We come up with something. What else can they do? What else can Santa do? Why do we stop them right there? Like, we're not creative? They do a set as Santa? That's great. How great is that? What's the deal with elves? A set as Santa. Their dicks are huge. And that's been easy for them. They come out and do their jokes. or write in a whole new set, whatever they want to do. They can do their Christmas jokes.

That's true. So now they're just burning their own material. They can't just write a whole new set. That seems really easy. What about them? In the voice of Santa. Can they sing? They can do whatever.

How about a talent competition? Santa talent competition. This is what we're talking about. This is how great a shit happens. This is why you need to respond to the chat. This is where we would have been in the chat. We get everybody gets a different Santa. We do a Santa talent show.

the winner gets 400 bucks. No, they each get 100. All right, whatever. The winner gets Lewis's watch. What about this? Oh, this is good.

They each get 100, but we don't tell them that we vote on it and whoever wins, they have to give their 100. Yes. Oh, did they lose their 100? You lose your 100.

Now we're talking real stakes. Everybody gets 100 when they walk out, we'll give them 100 bucks. And then if they lose, they have to give them. What if they're like, suck my dick? What do they're, if Lewis gets Jimmy Martinez, and he's like, I'm just going to take all your money.

That'd be hilarious. How great would that be if Jimmy Martinez beat us all up? We've got to have rules. No blacks, no women. No. What do you mean? What is this? A country club? Do you like this? Hold on. Hold on. Now you're talking my language. Lewis pepped up at that. How great would you be a hot chick to come out in a little skimpy stanton? Oh, yeah. That's women. Naked women. No. Naked women. Stop, Joe. Please. I've been married so long. I've been married too. Can you turn the air off. It's freezing. Yeah.

It is freezing. I turned it on in the beginning because it was hot, dude. It took my hat off and I fucking head with cold. It's winter time out. We don't need air conditioning.

It was hot as fuck when I walked in. It's not winter time. It does the sound immediately changed. All right. Women and Santa Claus's. No, we have. Mrs. Claus.

Oh. Yes. This is. Mrs. Claus. Mrs. Claus. Mrs. Claus. This is coming together.

It's a lap dance competition. And I'm the judge. Joe's getting Karen. We already know this. What are you talking about? I'm going to run up fucking Lisa Levinelli.

She alive? Mrs. Mrs. Claus. That's it. Mrs. Claus. And we do a, uh, a clause pageant.

And we vote. We hold up things. Like to 10. I'm out. Three boaters. All right. I think that's good. Can I tell my only problem with this?

Absolutely. Women are not as funny as men. So we're sort of giving This is a brainstorm story A lot of this A lot of the That goes my Conan point Yeah dude

The whole thing is that we're trying To make it as funny as possible We're making a conscious decision How funny would it be? That's not going to be as funny That's kind of a crazy way To produce a show How funny would it be if they're not funny

And we're trashing them for not being funny And what if they cry That's even fucking's the regs You're right It's the regs God I wonder how much of my Delta miles I had to spend

To bring Fistuka back as Mrs. Claude. Oh, my lord. Then, it would be the most epic moment ever if she comes down. She's like, oh, yeah, Mrs. Cloves. Oh, ho, ho, you fucking cunt! And she just comes up and punches Lewis in the face.

She goes, hey, Lewis, I brought him from Australia. And just some guy comes out and manhandles him. Just fucking starts doing, hey. Oh, no, sorry. Unosolah, Louis is like, don't you hawk away me? Dr. Hockah! You want to hugger?

A hawkah! I do morning hawkas. Every morning I do a hawker I like this idea Are we in? Is this what we're doing? I don't know I don't know either How are you so gung-holy?

He makes a good point about the women And he already fucking spoiled my Mrs. Claus Well, dude Joe, we all know All roads lead to you bringing Karen on to something I say no Karen I like that A Mrs. Claus, no Karen rule

No caron rule You cannot that is a fucking show No Karen rule No Karen rule I am in if it's a no Karen rule. You win, Lewis? No caron rule? No caron rule.

No caron. No carol. Fuck that bitch. She sucks! And then he's going to stop by and go, hey, can you, so if you're doing some editing, can you edit that? All right. We'll get, we'll, we'll know, we're not allowing one of the funny women. Yeah.

Yep. We're down to three people. Yeah. I'll get Phyllis Diller, I guess. She's dead, dummy. Fuck. Joe Rivers. There's plenty of fucking women

comedian we can get. That like us? Name five funny women. There's a couple comedian, women comedian. Five funny women that would be willing to do the reg. Yamanika. Hilarious is Mrs. Claude. All right, that's two.

Bonnie. Who else do we got? Bonnie. Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. That was great. Bonnie. she'd do it

she'd do it she'd 100% do it yeah but she wouldn't respect the show she'd like roll her eyes and fucking yeah I'm gonna come in and she'd take over and start fucking being all black you know guys there's another there's gotta be this okay so we got two but just name name another one

Is that shrouds well? Yeah they'd be willing to come Yeah well name another one Gabby Gabby Gabby would do it Maybe I asked Gabby to do

Story Wars, and she said, and I quote, I'll think about it. And now Gabby is dead to me. She said, I'll think about it? No, she did not see that. She said, I'll think about it. Can I call her and ask her? Please. I'll think about it. Is this because you ate her panties? I did eat her panties. Is this probably because you ate her dry panties? Is that my fault? She gave me her panties for a fucking... Can I tell you right now? I've been doing the Yankee swap with you for about 15 years. I've never seen you more excited than that gift. Oh, dude. Oh, Maddie Wiener. should be good. She's great.

She doesn't pick up. She's like, who this? She's dead to me, too. She's, leave me alone. I told you. She's like, I'm also taking a break from this. Wow. Nobody wants to be a friend. Who says that? Who says I'm taking a break from this? Dude, her fucking literally.

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very soon. You could also get it on Amazon, but if you get it directly from the website, you can save 20% with promo code Regs 20. Is there going to be a flavor to the cream? Yeah, coconut. Coconut. Coconut, coconut, uh, coconut milk powder-based. Cogoda. There you go. All right, where were we? Thanks, brother. I showed my son.

There's got to be another woman. Who else? I think of another. Maddie Weiner. Good, big, great. I showed him, uh, uh, what's the movie called? Um, Bronx Tale. Oh. You don't like it.

It's okay. Why? It was too slow. It was good. It was great. But there is, it is weird. There's a weird moment. Would you guys remember the movie?

Yeah. Yeah. So like, like, he literally is like, uh... Are we was dating a black girl? Well, the black girl's brother gets beat up and he comes back. He's like, he was like, yeah, he beat me up. But she's like, you beat him up. I can't believe.

And he's like, fuck you, you fuck you, fuck you fuck He calls him the N-word, right? Yeah. And then he leaves. And then, like, just 15 minutes later in the movie, she comes back. She's like, my brother said he was lying. And that's, like, the whole... That was it. That's how they got over it. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Black people don't hold grudges. What's it? They don't hold grudges. Oh. What's your problem with this movie, Joe? I think that there's, like, a level of people are going to get all mad at me.

First of all, it's shot like a TV show. It doesn't look gritty or anything. It looks fucking... Clean and... clean and weird and it's a play it's got like very play vibes I love it's fun kids aren't but kids are watching TikTok and reels they don't

have the attention span that we had we had Saturday we watched TV that was the only day we really watched TV and we watched full-length thing there was no short versions of anything you ever watch movies from the 70s they take so long they walk just the the intro to a movie it's like it's like an eight minute intro

also the lighting you go I can't see anything the sun's up can anybody watch a movie Without picking up their phone during the movie, like just watch the movie, without just going fucking, you know, we have a no phone rule while we're watching movies. Do you, like, put them in another room? Yeah.

Yeah. It's hard, though. The thing that with the phone for me with watching a movie now is I watch and I go, how old was he when they made this? And then I paused and I'm like this. Yeah, he was 41. That's crazy. Amazon does that thing or where you pause the movie

and it says like who's in the line. It's great. It's great. Something like that. Sometimes you go, is that the lady from this? And then you pause and you go. I like when they stay. have that, and then they show all the other shit

that they're in, so you can go watch that. You can do that with porn, too. You'd be, like, oh, who is that guy? Click on her name. Yeah. They were like 69. She was in Nurses, and Backdoor Nurses, 96.

Yeah. Even porn, we used to have to watch full. Remember, you can get tapes? Remember, you had to get a tape, and you didn't, you had to watch it or scroll, you know, fast forward. You'd move through it and busts. Yeah.

You'd bust, and then the next time you'd watch more of it, then you'd busts. You don't have to save your busts. It's what I did with all my magazines. Like I would bust to each girl in the magazine And I'm like, all right, well, she got it today That's so funny You go, I can't, I can't take this couple of this girl

They'd be like at the end of a porn magazine They'd be all like the 800 and 900 numbers I would bust to each of the individual girls Let me ask you a question I saved the bus for all of them Then I eventually go back to the beginning Bus all them again Third time, then by the fourth time

I'd start busting on the pages Oh my God I'm like this the last time I'm a pretty good of you You're fucking creep gas Be honest with me Be honest with you That's it I bust all over that I love what an old

regs YKWG What? Okay Flat tire You're right That's flat tire You guys are repairing

the relationship Flatfire finger break Ah I was gonna say is Did you ever jerk off This goes to anybody To the wrestling magazines In the back

Where they showed the women wrestling men No You never saw those pictures Billy goat He just grabbed my sandwich And just ripped it apart And he was like a silly goat

But he didn't even go That's a shirt He didn't go like this. He didn't go, yo, dude, can I get a bite? You just grabbed it. Dude, he did it with a cookie that you just don't eat around Lewis.

He's like Myrtle. I can't eat around. Billy goes so funny. It's up chewing your shirt. I go, guys, anyways, I'm going to be at Lewis. Give me my shirt back. I have feet in my pocket.

He can taste it. But it was James' first mob movie. Oh, you got to do Goodfellas. I think he's a little violent. He's going to be 13 in December. It was so funny. this weekend, Max was, he's bigger now. He's been going since he's a baby.

I have a photo of Jimmy Fallon holding him as a baby. Yeah. And now he's walking around as a... He's holding Jimmy Fallon. I looked over at one point. I walked by Conan's dressing room. Max is just sitting in his dressing room on his phone, hang out with Sarah Silverman and Conan and his agent.

I was like, Max, what the fuck are you doing? Come here. And then I'm doing an interview. I just signed a three-picture deal with Conan O'Brien. I'm doing an interview on the guy's like, so, you know, for the local news, or whatever. And the guy's like, how does it feel to be coming back here every year? And I was like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And at the end, Max, it was like, well, you know, it is, I've been here every year too. And he's just starts giving an interview. I'm just like, who the fuck of you? I love it. I do too. Because my interviews never get played anywhere. Ruin as many as you want. Oh, this is the worst. You're going to love this. You know, they have the press line. Yeah.

So they bring us all down. And there's the road, the red, you know, the little paparazzi thing. fucking literally one person they had to take me to the end of the line and they were like just a dude in a scally cap looked like me

with a little recorder he's like hey Bobby how you doing because I'm just a fan I brought this with me and then they bring me back to the line they go wait right here for a second

I'm sitting there and then they're just all talking all the famous people they wanted nothing so this made you watch so I went I went I'm good

she goes you okay I go I don't need to this is I'm good Stay here, you're not done with your No, she goes, she goes, I get it And she just let me leave

I was like, what the fuck, man? I'm just standing there waiting To get interview behind Conan, Sarah, and Sebastian And nobody wants fucking shit to do with me I hate it That's why you wanted Joe there Should done the stress factor with me

No The rest was all over me It was great It doesn't sound like it was great at all It was still great I mean, it's fucking 17,000 people in Boston Still fun to kill Yeah

But I'm still nobody Al-Lugat. One time I was hooking up with a woman that I was dating, and she sat on my pussy. I mean... What? Did you mean to do this? What the fuck?

Shut up! Cut! Edit! Start here! She put her pussy on my face. She sat on my face, and then she held my nostrils. What's a fussy? She squeezed my nostrils and choke on it, and then she would let go, and then let me...

With her pussy? Yeah. No, no, with her fingers. the nostrils, but her pussy was all sealed around my mouth. So I'd be like this. And that's what that story made you think of? She tried to kill you? Ah, and then she would blog it again. So I was like choking on her pussy. That's disgusting.

And that was awesome. And that No, no, I was thinking about it during the porn bullshit before and then we went off. That's crazy that we're just sitting there talking and Bobby brought back his fucking time in Boston up again. He goes, can I tell you something else? They don't validate parking date. So I park, right? And they say

if I bring in the parking and they sign it off. And by the way, Conan's double park. Conan's over here, double-pocked. Well, he really wants to tell us this whole story. You got a limo. He got a limo. And at the end, we're just sitting here. He goes, I tell you about the food backstage?

That's what sucked the most. That's kind of hot, though, right? I was choking on some pussy. It's crazy your brain just goes there while we're talking about it. Well, what made me think of it is last night I made love to my wife, and she did a similar thing, but she wasn't holding my nose, but I'm getting over COVID still, so I, you know, couldn't breathe. It was hot. You really did have COVID?

Yeah. You're going to give everyone COVID the week for Skank Fest? You're going to take out the guy? No, it was 10 days ago. Nobody can make it, and everybody else is sick. Dan would love it. Dan's going to start licking your fucking cup. I go, give me this.

Oh, I got something for you. I'm the only one that shows up, and I go, this is what I want. He doesn't care. Give it to me. Give it to me. It's for Dan. I know, but he doesn't want it. He didn't even pay attention.

That's all right. He never pays attention. Give it to me. What is it? What is it? Shut up. It's none of your business. It's not for you.

Why can't Lewis or I have it? It's the show. It's for Dan. Yeah, but he didn't even know you said that. They just found out, and this happened to a friend of mine's friend. You know you can't smell? Yeah. Because of COVID.

Yeah. If you take Mungerno, you'll get your smell back. Manjuro? What's Mungerno? Mujaro. What is it? It's a fat medication that Big J's on. If you take it, it does all this other crazy shit.

Am I going to get, like, sickly skinny? If you take it. Hey, guys. I can't do voices. It's a Christian veil. I'm the machinist. Got a smell back in like a week and a half. No shit.

I swear to God. I swear to God, dude. Yep. I don't know if I want it back. A few days later, it actually happened a few days later. You could do it once. What if I told you I like it off? Dude, you don't want to fucking smell?

I live in New York. It's great. I do worry about pooping my pants. You'd only know if you smelled it? Well, sometimes, you know, you fart and you go, You'd have to smell it You wouldn't be able to feel it Oh I'm talking about like a little

A little squirt Yeah not like a full Fucking pants full of shit I just thought you'd be interested in stuff I am interested I am that I mean you could take a one One shot due two weeks They're getting rid of bald this too I heard

Yeah they have like pills for that shit They have like no like shit like where it's like Your hair will just grow back Yeah well that's like the transplant I did They like put it in there so it'll like Get the other ones to grow with it I don't want that I like being bald

You look good ball. Don't you guys look good ball? It's way easier. You might have to deal with hair. I look like a fucking, I look like a dinosaur. Just jump at that. You look great.

But all we've known you guys is bald. Look at that. You actually shave your heads just for fun of you. I'm going to tell you right now, the one time I did that, my head was so misshaped and weird that even my mom was like, I wouldn't do that again.

My mom, I shaved my head and she came home and she goes, I wouldn't do that again. That did not look good. I mean, dude, shaving your head, jumping in a pool, not have to worry about your fucking dumb hair.

No, that's the only time. I want to have hair. To have a cool coming up just fucking whipping it back. When I was at Jay's that when I was like I felt like a commercial I was like I'm not only a client

But I was choking on the pussy You see because she would hold my nose closed I was like But I had covered I'm back Why don't she have to use two fingers Why don't she just clip it? Why don't she do like a fucking

Or why did she just lean forward And just shut your nose with her clip? I don't know man I'll call her Go ahead You want Well you're the one who wants to talk about this so bad Yeah, I don't know the fucking ins and outs of her choices you made.

Sorry, you want the mechanics of your pussy choke. COVID fucked me up. You guys should get the shot. I was fucked up. I'm not kidding the shit. What do you mean? It's a cold. I was sick.

What shot? The COVID shot, the booster, the thing. You were filming your fucking documentary. I wore a mask. Yeah, but you weren't sick. You were fine. Yeah, but I was like five days in. Okay.

I was trying to be nice. Yeah, stop fucking touching me, dude. Well, it's clicking. It's not clicking. Stop with your dumb noise. I literally thought you were just touching his thing. Nobody can hear it to the fucking. I can hear it.

So, you fucking deal with it. I don't know what to tell you, dude. You're a fucking maniac. Stop touching me. Yeah, you don't have your headphones on. Yeah, put your headphones on. You won't hear it. I don't hear anything.

You don't hear that. I seriously don't hear. Nobody hears it. You're a fucking maniac. You don't have your cans on. Hold on. Oh, if I had my headphones off, you'd be able to. It's crazy.

With headphones. If I have my headphones. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Now you're doing it less, you fucking asshole. I'm ready? No, you're the,

you're the, you're the, You're a noise Oh, here it goes You guys are just mushing each other What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Yeah, I'll get...

We actually, can I bring something up? Please. We still owe Lewis a punch in the face. I do. For what? Because the steak tips argument. Go ahead, Trump. Go for it, Joe.

Yeah. Remember he used AI to put it. The mud that I'm in, Joe, go ahead. Why are you in a mood? Give me one. Why are you in a mood? You have a great week coming up. You just had a special drop.

Lewis, just remember, I'm the only one that cares about Steckfest. I'm the one that fucking cares about Skankfaxe. You are the only one who cares. He's the one that you, you Cogsucker. No, dude. Yes. I got you. You and Tony and Joe will be on you and Tony and Joe Fest next year.

I got you the fucking venue in fucking Vegas. No, for the whole weekend. Put your headphones on, you're not listening. First of all. I got you the venue. What? In Vegas. Five years ago, Bobby.

That was a good venue. It was a good venue. It was great venue. There you go. What did Joe do? Has he ever done anything? I'm making a full movie about it. Yeah, full-length feature.

Because he's a stalker. Yeah, he makes a movie. I got the venue. What did you do, Dan? That's right, I will say. These guys both did big things. All I'm going to Riffram next year. All I'm saying is Lewis.

That does sound big. All I know, Lewis, is that I'm going to reinvent Skank Fest with Riffring. Dude, this is a great. Hold on. I'm being dead serious. Forget even just Skank Fest, guys. No. This is it.

Yukon Gomez. Hold on. Youcon, Cornel. It's different. So here's what you do. You can book Dan to riff with you for an hour. You could record it. An hour's too long.

I don't got that guy. Get Howie Mandel's hologram machine. Oh, yeah. This is kind of like, what are the goals? What's that? He doesn't fucking listen for nothing. What's that? I need more clues.

What's that? What's that? You finger banging? You know, where you go and you get a shout out. School bus. Fucking earthquake. I have no idea. It's like cameo, except there's long,

long form. Long form cameo. Long form cameo. You get to hang out with him. It's like a dog. Camio? Camio? He's in the pool? He go. He's in the pool? Do you want me to go? Do you want me to riff right now? Do you want to riff right now? I can riff right now. I'm telling you, we're going to do a private. Do a hologram. You can stay in your house. My brother, I want flesh and flesh. Hologram technology. You're an asshole. Dude. Here's what, here's what's going to happen. Let me tell you what's going to go on.

It's going to be exactly like a private, like a private booth. Like a jerk off booth. Ah, ha. Ha. Ha. Fucking dickhead. like a private joke. How about I beat your ass? Do it. Do it. Just do it. Beat your can't.

Start talking shit and do it. Riffroom is coming. Stop talking shit and just do it. DeRosa Fest. Fucking Froggy Leap. Don't scare me at all. Guys. Doesn't scare me.

First of all. Nope, still doesn't scare me. Ooh. Ow. I'm scared. Fucking idiot. He leaves the bomb fire. He goes, hey, Don, I think you re broke the rib.

I think you re broke the rib. I think you rebroke the rib. Queer. Why do you owe Lewis a punch in the face? I told you. It was the steak tips bet. Yeah, he fucking rigged the bet. He said there was no steak tips in New York City.

He AIed. He chat GPTed the fucking results and lied. I did. I made my own menu on chat TPT in real time. I don't know. For a restaurant that didn't exist. I think there's an innovation clause. Yeah.

I think Lewis was an innovator. You think Lewis could take a lot. Much like I am in the Skankfest space with the Riffroom. Riffroom is pretty sick. Which will be there 10 year anniversary. Dude, if you see DeAland Sunday Sunday's Skankfest, you just say the words riff room. And I'll riff.

He's got a riff with you. I'll riff with you. Except the problem is, this isn't coming out until weeks after Skagit. Oh! Oh, no! But can I tell you, I am genuinely excited for the 10-year riff room? 10-year riff room. You can do it right now and I'll put it on the reg. No, we've got to set it up.

We've got to set it up with the screen opening. If anybody says a riff to Dan at Skankfest. At Skankfest, if you see me, riff room. You've got to say riff room. And then Dan has to riff with you for a full minute. Full minute. One minute. You said, I thought, you said, no minute.

What? You said minutes too long. No, I said an hour's too long. One minute. Lewis wanted to do long form. You just say the words riff room to Dan. And now you get a minute. Sunday, I'm going to pull out.

I'm going to pull out my cell phone and I'm going to clock you for a minute. And we're going to riff. But if you stop riffing with Dan, Dan can walk away. You better keep a riff. A riff is a back and forth. It's a volley. This is the point card or the podcast. I'm telling you.

Oh, I know how to riff. And the 10 year, and this is for the people after it comes out, the 10 year, We're going to have a full booth. Full riffroom. With the thing that comes up. Yeah. On a timer. I love it.

I love this idea. They got you a venue in a dark inventory. Come on, brother. You mean two huge things? He has to pay for a riffroom now. I go, by the way, I'm going to be... Guys, we are bleeding money with riffroom. Yeah, exactly.

This riff room ain't cheap. Dan wants a one-way mirror for some reason, like he's a detective. In an airtight box, the acoustics are not. nuts, dude. Dan wants to be ziplined into the Rift for him. Like Sean Michael. It's fucking crazy. I remember when you made that reference at Skangfest? Oh, it hurt. Yeah. Oh, you said I wish it was more

like, you said Sean Michaels than he said, oh, it was fun. Yeah. God, I'm going to eat so much gumbo on Sunday. Are we going to go walk around and check out the place? It's the festival. Yeah, we're going to walk around and check out. Night? Are you going to the shrimp club at night? What?

Shrimp Club? Is that Sunday night, too? Barely legal, yeah. Barely legal? It's called. Barely legal? Fairly legal. It's so funny. When does that happen? A little too on the nose, guys. Every night. My party is Thursday night.

Who's Friday? I know Zach and Ian are doing one, I thought, one night. Who's Sunday? De Rosa might be doing one one night. I mean. I'll go to DeRosa. Just to see DeRosa fucking trying to eat pussy and get mad that they don't let them. I told him that him fucking with that trans woman was like the conch shell being blown out at Vegas.

It was like, It's begun He sucked off So you guys aren't excited about this show tonight How come you're not on it? I didn't book the show Special Joe List show You're not on the show?

No, you're the only one that's not on the show He didn't get a baseball card And he's not on your fucking show No I tried to get him a baseball card And they fought me pretty hard on it Let me ask you question What is why are we celebrating you?

I don't know Why are we set? A baseball card? Yeah, tops Guys, you know what to do. Let Tops fucking know. Let their top executives know. Go, Mites.

Top top executives? That was pretty good. What I was, uh... Why is, what is this? Why are we fucking celebrating Joe tonight? I don't know. It was Adele's idea. She pitched it.

But what is it for? How about this, though? They booked Karen and didn't book Sarah. Sarah was like, what is this? Fuck it. They didn't book Lewis? No. Who is this?

What is this show? It's celebrating Joe. tonight. Joe list man of the year, baby. And they booked both these guys. Bobby, Soder, Mark, Karen. Not you, not Sarah. Not you or his wife. They booked his son. That's weirder.

They don't book me at the stand. It's at the Gramacy, isn't it? It's at the Gramacy Theater. It's at the Gramacy Theater. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. There it is. Mine of the years. They sold out. Why did they use that headshot from fucking 98? That was my fourth fat, you piece of shit.

Why do they use... They use Norman's driver's license. If you look at it, because with the body of the background under Bobby, because... Oh, that is crazy. It looks like Karen is controlling body, Bobby, from the inside of his body, like, rang. Oh, yeah. Like, Craig.

Oh, yeah. And Bobby has no credits. Look at that. Damn. Karen, Bia, Netflix. Robert Kelly, nothing. I had Netflix. Not here, you don't.

That's funny. I have the most credits. You can take my spot. Look at all my credits, baby. I'm fine with it. No, you know why you weren't invited? Because I stink. No, you have Story Wars.

That's why you couldn't do. No, Story Wars is tomorrow. That's Tuesday. You have Skanks. We only got 50 tickets left for Story Wars. Come on, boys. That's fun. What are you doing tonight?

Skanks. You have skanks. That's what. I'll be at the same area. Yeah. Come by. I mean, I'll be walking. I have so much time.

That's crazy. Come by. And then you're going to the venue of the people that booked the show. Let them know. Oh, who booked it? It was a New York Comedy Festival? Yeah.

as the stand folks when you go in there tonight maybe it's fine I'll be alright maybe there's a little bit of a problem maybe there's a little bit of a problem guys just buy my coffee let me retire already I'm done with all this yeah

body how much money for you to go away we talked about this before I've upped it to 20 million now that's you know what 10 million started sounding not enough at all 25 and I go away for good but if you move to like a like a Bali or something where

that 10 million is really 30 million. Dude, did you have the Comedy Central record? Yeah. You getting that lawsuit? Yeah. Yeah.

I got it on Friday. What happened? There was a lawsuit against Comedy Central. I just got a check. Yeah. I was like, this is a scam. That's what I said.

I was a fucking scam. I told him to double check it. It's so much money. It's crazy. Someone sued Comedy Central. Yeah. I think Joe Zimmerman found this, didn't he? It was my cap.

Wow. I think of my cap. I did Comedy Central's Funatico's web show in 2008. No. You're old. like $350,000. Yeah, it turns out that was the biggest. You're sitting on three mil.

It was so much money that I was like, they're going to take all my money out of my bag. Wait, so you got the money? Yeah, they... Mine's coming. How much money is it? Thousands. Say the money.

Say the number. Thousands could be... Mine's in the tens of thousands. So was mine. Yeah. Mine was for my hour special. What is it for, though? It was streaming.

They didn't pay you guys. Yeah. So there was a thing about streaming. What about roast battle and comedy central's funaticos? Boys. I need to dig in there. Boys. You finally go to the people

and they go, we have no more money. What is Funaticos? It was like an all Latino like web thing that Comedy Central did one year. It was me and Latino comics stink.

Did you do anything specifically Latino? No. Dude, I'd love to find that video and you're like completely different. You're in like a mesh tank top. And you're like, I-J-J-J-J-I-J-I. Louis, my name is Louie Yaj-O-Mez.

I-J-J-J-J-I-J-J-I. Is that his catchphrase? I-J-J-J-J-J-I. I can't get all the women want to fuck me. Next time you hook up, have a girl sit in your face and hold your nostril. This is an obsession. No, come on. Why not?

I'm not going to fucking not breathe. I'm doing choke punal-lingus. I don't want to fucking really taste it. My head's too big. I don't have a problem getting off it. I'll be dead. I told you guys recently that I've been enjoying

girls' fingers in my butt. Oh, really? One or two. No, we talked about this recently. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's get into this. This makes way more sense. Hold on, hold on.

What's wrong with fingers in you? I recently had a girl eat my ass. Oh, were you like? The first time ever. Hold her nose next time. I'm saying I almost did. She's already holding it. Guys, you know, like,

the power of like, you know when a girl you push your head down in your cock? Yeah. Pushing a girl's face into your asshole. Oh, you found a different shift on the pad? You go, you know, there's a different gear? It is like, it's powerful, dude.

Did she go like, hey, I'm already there. How about you don't mush it in a bit? You have to, like, relax because you want your asshole to open up. Blossom. You need to blossom for her. You're going to present. You've got to go all fours. That's great.

I had a chick, I had a chick slap my ass and go, go wash your ass. That's really funny. She went, to, hey, go wash your ass real quick. I was like, okay. Yes. Yeah. How did you propose it? Was she blowing you and then you just kept pushing down?

No, I put my. My legs back. Behind your head? No, I just kind of like lean back. Did you rock? It took Lewis like three rocks to get back. He goes, here we go.

He goes, Louis's big hips. He goes, all right, all right, are we there? Are we there? All right, hold on,

let me see. Go. This is fun. This is a fun time. Did you, did you come harder off of it? Did you come? Not off the asshole eating.

That was just like a precursor. Was she? Can I ask you, was she, like, jerking you while she was looking at a little bit of jerking. That's fun. A little bit of, like, licking. Talk about chewing gum and walking at the same time. Yeah, patting your head and rubbing your tummy. Eating ass and jerking.

I thought you guys say padding didn't bear. Hand smash. Hand smash. Get your hand in the middle. Ow! Fuck. I think we got to wrap it up. No, we're good.

What are you talking about? We're having fun. Two hours. We got to do ads, too. We got to do ads. But I'm telling you. But this is the problem with ads at the end, but the best, the better part of it is we do get to come in silly.

I came in silly. I feel like the ads warm us up a little bit. Silly goat. But I always feel like we... And I feel like we riff very funny on the ads. Now we're going to be looking to run out. And I think our ads are pretty funny. Oh, I have a 6 p.m. show for God, six. I'm the man of the year.

I got to go. Hey, I'm dropping defensive day. I like your idea. Next time we'll do ads in the front. The silly goat. Let's wrap it up, boys. You guys are the shit. I just said that and you fucking did me shit.

Yeah, he just said that and then you fucking do it. Guys, that's it. Hold on, guys. Sorry, I got Lewis on an episode of Cross Talk. Make sure you check out. Walk me through the Latino. All of our shows, all of our other shows that we do, and make sure you come see us live. We'll be at Skampfest.

I'll see you guys in the Rift Room. And we'll see you guys next time on The Regs.