Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Robbie Goodwin, Mike Figs YKWD "Perfect Impression"

Episode Date: September 25, 2022

This week Robbie Goodwin and Mike Figs from the Young Guns podcast join Bobby to talk weight loss, good impressions and more! Get the EXTRA YKWD, Watch LIVE and UNEDITED AT https://www.patreon.com/robertkelly Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta de dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. siempre que se mantenga las terconstancias económico financieras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. You know that and these guys came in hot and they stayed hot for around 40 minutes and then they

Peter it out at the end because they got tired but no, it was a great episode. You're going to want to check it out hilarious. These two guys will crack in me up and I hope you enjoy it too. So I was going to do is go to the YouTube page and you can watch it for free on Sunday, but here's another thing you can do. You can support me and the YKWD podcast by going to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly and subscribing. It's a price of a cup of coffee. You get an extra episode of YKWD,

you get the culture and Kelly extra episode, you get there, but the most important, you get it before anybody else. You get to watch it live, you get to be in the chat with all the other YKWD fans commenting, asking questions. We go to you guys a lot. And you also get the JOP party, which is a Zoom party every Saturday night that I put on my own Zoom and let you guys come in and hang out with me every Saturday night. So go to patreon.com slash Robert Kelly and join my Patreon. Become

a supporter. And that's it. You know what? Go patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. All right. Enjoy the episode. It's a good one. Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude? Live. Welcome everybody to the show. YKW I started the social media podcast. The fact that YKW did podcasts. YKW did back again. Old school back in the day. We're all starting before them all. YKW did this podcast is so fun and crazy.

And there's no rules. Shut up, you're ruining this. Burn the ball, damn it, man. I'm so sorry. It's comedy podcasts. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original.

Original. Hello What's happening everybody Robert Kelly back with another episode of You know what fucking dude in the Comedy seller laugh button studios above the world famous comedy seller This is where podcasting started in fucking New York City and I started it So all the other fucking cocksuckers doing it, oh, it all to me. That's right, I said it. Fuck them, no I'm kidding. We're back in the studio, I'm excited to be back in.

And we got, we got, I mean, literally young guns. You know, back in the day, used to always bring the young guns on the show. And they got a hit podcast. They got... i supposedly that fucking really funny effort great things i've never seen a heard high here i mean not even in my fucking spectrum so good actor rock i mean we got fucking uh... taut make it what you know who cancel

that's the question all fucking can't always like use them david tell on this fucking show and that that was really hot. I got these fucking guys. This guy does fucking voices like fucking rich little. I like you guys shut the fuck up. There's white to hear as Nick. People we got Robbie goodwin. Hey everybody. And we got Mike Figgs. What's up? They got a god. It's a honor. They got a really great podcast. It's over a gas digital. I believe correct Yeah, and it's uh, it's called young guns. Yeah, the fucking young guns regulators Yeah, is that why you guys call it because of the movie? No, but we should really watch that movie

We just like kind of went you've never seen the movie and you called your podcast No, what is it like cowboy vampires? I don't get a fuck about that movie. He's in Charlie's Sheen and I. Yeah. What is Emilie Estevez? It's like I'm a cowboy. Come on. I don't know time for this.

Yeah. Nobody likes your shitty, country, Italian attitude. Has anybody told you that? Dude, you're my idol. You realize it's all I'm bossing you. I apologize. I apologize. If I made you this, I am fucking terrible for you

You go on stage you talk about your your cock and balls. I just have hair just like him. Yeah, really. Oh my god Wow, I'm beautiful. It's not bad. It's press the only other hair Are you have a hair of a date rapist? And you have fucking a rapist. Yeah, you have a day braces. I think Bobby's dying. Look at him He's melting into his chair. Yeah, freaking slim fast. Yeah, you're like a rape dentist. I love that I smashed him out of the slim fast joke and he's still squeezing it in.

That's what a hack figure is. He wouldn't let it go because he's that new generation with, dude, it's still, I like it, it's a good joke. I don't care if they don't laugh. I'm barreling through, I don't care who said it, I'm gonna do it. What a cunt.

Look at that, who's that handsome fucking old man? That's you. I know. That's me, bros. Then you see the TV, that looks like Mike Figgs and Sebastian went in the fly machine. What are you? Hang on a second, hang on. You already knew him, I don't know if you know what this is, right?

That's the bomb bandana, put it on your microphone. I haven't given that out in three months. We're only two minutes in. The guy just said the fly machine, because he couldn't remember what the fucking machine was called. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Man, fucking idiot. What would Sebastian pull out, Mike? What are you doing, Robert? Oh my God, you do voices. I got to pull the utility belt. And I have them there. If I got a whip out of voice, I got it. It's fat man and Robbie.

Oh my God, Figs, listen. Cold being talented. Dude, you're not, you know you're talented at? Not being talented. You're a fucking black belt in not having it. Size 48 black. Literally, you don't. You're wearing a cardigan, Robbie.

You don't have a mic dick. I'm gonna say this, you don't have it. I'm gonna be honest with you, you don't got it. All right, Mitch, listen, go back to Best Buy. And be a cunt to old ladies and little kids. Look at any bril over here. This is the goddamn honor. Where are you from?

From the Bronx. From the Bronx and your Puerto Rican Italian. It's a good mix. And where are you from? I'm from San Francisco, Bay Area. I'm from San Francisco, Bay Area. I don't know why I put that stuff on. What the fuck?

You were singing. You requested a dyed coke, Robbie? The beauty, you have an amazing technician staff and they hit us up. They go, what do you want? Water coffee. You got a diet problem. This is what a fucking. This is such a fancy diet. I feel like I'm in for hands right now. It's a Mexican coke. It's got real sugar. He just called them a fancy, well, a technician staff. Whatever you have. Your staff. It's true. You don't have to, just because you put a rig in a tank, you don't have to be 10 dumb, okay? Yeah, well Robbie will call it so wonderful and confident.

Gas digit, everyone's on heroin. They're just like, ah, do you want a fucking cracker? We're looking for a strong outblind. You want CBD lion? Yeah, exactly. Crater, I can hook up with 10 blunts before the show. Do you want to smoke 10 blunts before the show? They're all drug addicts.

We're gonna pay you in meth. Yeah, exactly. You accept Cratermas payment. We can pay you by weakling Cratermas bills. Well, I've been over, they do the weed over there as fucking nuts. I know, it's crazy. Because it'll also be like, all right, Doggie, it's the strength of 10 weeds.

It's like, okay, darling. Did you imagine paying for a one bedroom apartment above them like 3,000 a, and just to hear Lewis every day going, what the fuck, where's the T-shirt? Come on, Doggie, where's my machine gun coffee, Doggie? The stream is down, you fucking idiot, you're like, everybody fucking suck, shen it, you're trying to get your child to school

and like, eight blind comedians walking, fucking strung out on math. So, how long have you been doing comedy, dude? Oh, man. Since 2021, uh, what? It's 2000 and 11. It's been in 2021 makes complete sense. It's been 10 years.

You jammed your slim fast joke. What did you take? Rick Cromes, course, that's there. Just keep trying the bit. They'll like it at some point. Just keep going fast and strong, Figgs. So go into Smith's. You took a class.

Well, I was, yeah, I was young. I was stupid. I didn't know, you know. Did you finish it? Yeah, I was great because people showed up. It was a fucking bringer show. Yeah, you got a hurricane. You got a fucking 95 people right around the corner.

The whole place was back. Yeah, I thought it was good. Is your father put her in a rickian? Yeah. And your mother's Italian. She's a good Italian woman. What the fuck, what's wrong with you? She's a good Italian woman. I'm not.

And a Tim Dylan for a second there. Yeah, she's a good woman. I love my husband. There's another voice. Can we count please? I need to know. That's a good Tim Dylan, all right? That guy screech over there, Grease.

He got to get the bacon. You're trashin' my technician. Oh, he's a good guy., all right? That guy screech over there, Grease. He got to get the bacon. It trash in my technician. Oh, he's a good guy. Can I give him a diet coke? You should've gotten the diet coke, but. Um, and you, and, and, and how long you been doing comedy, buddy? She's, it's like 2010, I want to say 2011, but I was in college for like four years and you kind of do it often on.

How the fuck did you and you get together? Because you seemed like you wouldn't like him. Uh, you know, it was actually Louis. I met him eight minutes ago. the fuck did you and you get together? Because you seem like you wouldn't like him. You know, it was actually Louis. I met him eight minutes ago. I fucking can't stay. Yeah. No, get him.

If not, like, put us together. These guys are like the same. Yeah. Well, we also met on compound media. Oh, yeah. Right. So I was doing a lot of voices with Aaron Berg and Gino Biscayne. You devised?

Rest in peace, Gino. And I'm dead. Rest in peace, Gino. And I'm dead. Rest in peace, Gino. He was a nice guy. He was a good guy. Not a racist. So he, you know, I love Gino.

Gino did a lot for me. All right, stop fighting. Anyway, don't be funny. I don't need your fucking disclaimers at the end of your jokes. You're wearing that. Who could be as a nice guy? Right? You think Gino's going to fucking do something

for your career, your shithead? So they put Robbie on to kind of like What was it like to like to bully me fuck with you to be like he does voices and I was doing voices at the time over there And then we became we hated each other first. I was like who's this? No, no, you didn't like him. No, at first I didn't like him. I was I was news to me I was like I like figs. He's a nice guy and figs is like hey man. Keep let's keep grinding You know, so I didn't know you hated me like boy I didn't I mean hated me like what I mean

I wasn't crazy about you, which you were gonna take my fucking job dude. That's true. Oh my god, you know So what was that? 7th the end I could have been nictopala Nictopala Not even him perfect impression. You're not good at this set me up. It's a perfect buddy I was doing I set me up dude.'s a perfect buddy. I was do I Set me up. Dude. I make the Apollo. Where is he? Anywhere you're still gonna not the Apollo

It's all fucked up. I fucking lived on maybe a hands but not your face and voice I'm liberal fucking reach ads am I right? I can anyways come in Just because you say liberal retards doesn't mean, and you pronounce the R in Tards, it's Tards. You fucking chat for everyone. I'm talking about that one. No, you do, that's like family guy. What do you mean, Rob? Everybody, everybody, everybody,

it's me, Nick DeParlo. Mm-hmm. Has he, I mean, that's good. You should be the voice guy. I'm Nick DeParlo. You're fucking good. I mean, this is exactly Aaron Berg did and why Mike didn't like me at first Robbie better than you

Robbie's very talented. He's a very talented guy And f**k this is fun. Oh shit. He just said he's funny Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. I apologize. No, it's okay. Um, I Fuck it a terrible Nick the Paula But it pretty good Peter Griffin. I mean that was great. That was fantastic So literally exactly what they so you guys went into the studio together. Yeah, and you didn't like him Well, I just I felt some type of way. I didn't, I didn't know who he was. When did he find you? Like, where did, oh Jesus, they found me. Is that bird found you? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh and Aaron Burke saw me and asked me to do it in hot water and do like fucking bits and stupid impressions

and yada yada. And then I befriended those guys. I started opening up for them and then I met Lewis and yeah, and I fucking left compound the moment they stormed the Capitol. Yeah. I got out of there. All right, get the fuck out of here.

Lewis was like an albatross who swooped in the people with career hell, past the compound. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get over here, doggies, under my way. I'll save you, doggies. I'll save you. Are you libertarian? You can't get my podcast off my own network.

It's like, dude, come to Gasteginal. It's like I have a fucking. What you have to do is pay the technician, Robbie. Robbie Kelly. There's a pen moment, $50 away. Go be great. It's a great deal. You pay.

It's not that much, though. I get all the money. I give it some most of it to Jay and Dave and then I go to Jamaica with Karen Mugledis But all you can pop freedom and it wants your vacation to Jamaica Toppers don't go to my Jamaican villa doggie Plus the golden nugget it's getting for you don't forget my Audi Baby James these are new lunchbox Come on Baby James, these are new lunch bucks. Doug, come on, Doug.

I mean, what, I mean, you took him. You are the reason why Lewis is Lewis is because of you. Well, but Lewis, here's what Lewis has is that he saw what I was doing over here. And I love skanks. I love Big J and Dave. And I mean, I love Lewis. He's one of my closest friends. And back in the day, he was like a son to me, you know,

because I come from where he comes from. And he just had too much, his wheels was fucking flying. Yeah. And I was like, dude, just go, you gotta go do your thing. He came to me and he was like, dude, I want this, I want that.

And I wasn't able to do that at the time, because dude, I love my network, but I'm a fucking headlining, touring comedian. Yeah, no, this was I like that. And I wasn't able to do that at the time, cause I do it, I love my network, but I'm a fucking headlining touring comedian. Yeah, no, this one was like a little... It was a great spot, right? But he was, he, everything seems to work out. Like he went and fucking did what he did. If I had him here under some weird contract,

he would have never, you know what I mean? He was just fucking, let me go. I think he's kinda destined to be like the cult leader a little never, you know what I mean? He was just fucking, let me go. I think he's kinda destined to be like the cult leader a little bit, you know what I'm saying? He's fucking, I'm so proud of that fucking kid. He's great, I love Lewis. You never have a mom with him and he's like, you look my dad, Robbie.

And he makes you cry, you ever cry because of Lewis? No, I would, no, I cry. I cried, I was noance. Cause he's late to fucking come on the show with me. He's never been like, you know, I don't have a dad, but if I do have a dad, it'd be you you Bobby Kelly. I would take that as an insult and you cry a little bit I would take that as a kid. You fucking hurt myself. That would be him calling me a fucking drug addict put a Recon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, first of all I never have a Hispanic son, okay?

This year you little quack suck. Yes, where he goes again. Yes Dude, yeah. Trying so hard. I'm practicing all day to do Robert King. Sounds different in a hit. I used to love the, as a dude. Girlfriend, no, it sounds right. You're doing good. Yeah, she's a don't listen to her. She's a, I used to love those. That's how you did it with Lewis, Soder, and Joe Liss.

Like before even me and you were here, I thought those were hilarious. Well, yeah, I mean, if I had any fucking common sense, back then I would have looked, I'm splitting everything with U3. Yeah. We're doing it together and it's us. We'd literally be touring, we'd be multi-millionaires. Oh for sure, yeah. Right now. We'd be multi-millionaires because we'd be fucking everywhere in the world and doing that podcast. But I don't have, I have, I have, I've, you're doing all right. You're doing

right. I think, I think, be honest with you, I've thought about this. My ego got in the way back then, because I wanted to be a standup comedian. And I was worried about this podcast thing was great, but I was using this to help comics podcast. Louis was doing hammer fisting with a little recorder with him and Dave. And I was like, well, I have this thing, I got a producer, come and do it here.

Type thing, right? Let's do it over here. And things happen so fast. Like I was like D-Poo, I got it, even though I don't talk to anyone, but he was the one who said, I can give you a five camera shoot with webcams. He created a system because I couldn't afford a tricaster.

So he got an Xbox remote and made a tricaster on that to switch cameras. So we could edit on the fly. Damn. I mean, so I kind of innovated all that shit. Yeah, that's great. But Lewis is the type of guy that goes, let me take that.

Yeah. You're not gonna fucking do it, dude. I gotta go. And he took that and with his partner, Frank, it's not. Ralphie. Yeah, it's Frank. They were just, they were rocking and rolling.

And they did it. So I'm excited. I mean, Skank fast, Legion of Skanks. And if you look too, right then is when Opie and Anthony just fucking died. And everybody splintered. What happened? And that group of people,

you know what happened, it talks about that, we don't know. Man, see me as chloride. Not talking, secretly hating, silenced scorn. Oh, they don't like each other? No communication. I get the memo.

But that void needed to be filled and it was the perfect time for those three. For sure. And they were great, because they wanted to be on this network. And I was like, dude, I can't. Right. We were trying to, I mean, I had no, I wasn't a podcast network guy.

Right, for sure. I was a, yeah, I actually told them, I go, go do your thing, man. You're doing great. Yeah, I know, for sure, man. You don't need me. And he was like, he was hurt. I feel You don't need me. And he was like, he was hurt. I feel bad because when when hammer fisting, he was like, I need this, this, and this. We got to go. And I was like, all right, dude. I'll see you later. And he was like,

what? But at the end of the day, we're sensitive. I can't just sense my blood has been called. No, he was hurt. He told me he goes, I was hurt that he didn't fucking fight for me. I was like, dude, it wasn't I wasn't fighting for you. You wanted something I couldn't give you. Yeah. I, dude, this whole thing was a fucking facade. I'm telling you, my network was blankets and bullshit. Plank, you know?

Do you guys, is it the older comic guy? Is it in your head that you gotta let the baby bird fly? Is that the mentality that a lot of you guys have? I didn't have the ability at that time. Look, I was on a fucking TV, a network TV show. I was touring. I didn't have the ability to fucking, I wasn't gonna do podcasting full time.

You married? I was married. You were married. So, you know, but Lewis gave me shit, dude. To be honest, Lewis, when he became a father, you know, but Lewis gave me shit, dude, to be honest, we Lewis, Lewis, when he became a father, you know, him and Louis, were the guys that I was like, dude, I got, if these guys, and he's such a great dad, that I was like, dude, he is a fucking piece of shit as a human. Like, he is Lewis's garbage, just like me. And he's a fucking great dad.

I was like, this is, this can happen. You know what I mean? A year and a half later, or a year later, I had my son. You know, I remember carrying baby James and he was so fucking, I mean, really great at that. He still is. And it's a great pop.

It's the Chinkitara, huh huh you took his kid the chinkatar and in Italy I thought you'd be erasing yeah I was like what the fuck do you know the chinkiless I'm the Chinese restaurant fucking chinkatar or do all right no they want to check the tarot some noodles chinkatar is fucking nuts dude pretty good shame pretty good shame I'm sorry I mean I don't know oh no but he's a good no he's a

good day no no no I know what you mean he's a kid yeah it speaks to the power because I've seen Lewis round his, but he's a good no, he's a good day. No, no, no, I know what you mean. He always takes his kid. It speaks to the power Because I've seen Lewis around his kid and he's so sweet and it speaks to the power of like Biological fatherhood that Lewis can turn to a great nice guy soft guy around his child Well Lewis when I first met Lewis I liked him the first he was a psychopath going shirtless down the street going to stab a roommate. Wow But I knew I knew that he was always fucking trying. For sure.

Always fucking trying. He's a wild man, but he has an amazing heart. Yeah, I mean, he does, man. He's a good guy. Fucking good guy. My network was more of like, let me, Vos and Bonnie, you guys got to do a podcast. I used to produce their live shows.

I used to get into that shit. You know, Misery loves company. I put Lenny and Kevin together. It was like, this is gonna be a great show. All these shows we put together. I love doing that part, but the business part of it. It's tough, yeah. I don't have fucking that.

I don't have that. It's hard enough to write a fucking joke. Never mind. And you're like a working comic. And I don't do Adderall too. Let's fuck I don't do a lot of drugs in Adderall You want some? You do when I'm so let me ask you a question. What are my headphones sound with their little hot right there? You got a knob right there you But I'll tell you what Lewis in the last few years

Fucking stand-up comedy is great. Yeah. Oh, yeah I was on the road with him, man. And he's, he's crushes. Some girl went on stage, punched them in the face. Why? He's a hell of a show. Why? She challenged her at one point. So you don't go left with my fucking joke. How about you fight me?

And she went in, she punched them, and then I think he banged on that night. Like, he's a rock star, the guy. Yeah, he's doing what I did in my late 20s. Yeah. When you had black hair. When I had hair. When you look at Mike Fick. You look like, yeah, dude. When you look like Mike Fick. You look like you. Yeah, dude.

When I look like a skinnier Mike Fick. Yeah. Dude, I'm so fat. I don't know. I'm like myself, go man. Really? You shall be, dude. That's all.

You're right there. You're a month away from fucking me. You're an ankle injury away, as I say. I mean, you're, yeah, I mean, you're that too. But you're a month away from getting your shit together. Let me ask you a question. Was it true that you used to have two meals with Louis CK? You guys would do double dinner? Oh, the bang bang. Yeah, tell mean you're that too, but you're a month away from getting your shit to get let me ask you a question Was it true that you still have two meals with Louis CK you guys would do the bang bang? Yeah, tell me that no No, no, no, no, no, that was written in the script. I'm I remember I showed up the day and I read the script

And I was like you know this is gonna be a thing now. Yeah, yeah, I know yeah, I fucking know and he does a great Louis CK I'm gonna you can't just guy. I know it's a bang bang Comedy bang man Robert Kelly. It's fucking Robert Kelly. We're come on just do the fucking script no improv. Fuck you fucking cunt Take the bandana way Alright listen fucking pep rally He's killing take the bandana. All right listen fucking pep rally Like the cheerleaders from us and now falling on deaf ears I know he it Louis actually that day we went and did the real bangback. Okay, we ate we ate we went Indian

He told me I picked it. Let's where'd you go? I want to know what you ate. I'm just tells we ate Indian You're Indian Who you're dating? Why did you do? Robert Kelly, why did you do? Why? Indian food. I love that you, you're my foodies. You're confidence dwindled in the middle of it.

And you went back to being serious. Robert Kelly, what do you do? So you got a little bad tie. What is Indian food? What is it? His confidence. You got it? Did you hear that big gulp of confidence? I know The eye contact in the face drop was a bit why do you have a little better chicken?

Why do you have patches of hair on your arm? You fucking because I like cholesterol. Well, you burnt does it child? Did you put your dad used to let your arm on fire when you was bad? He's to hit me with hot wheel tracks That's a real story take the hot wheel tracks and give me bump out You know that I'm on fire when you're bad. He's hit me with hot wheel tracks. That's a real story. Take the hot wheel tracks and give me a bomb out. Oh, you know that bomb out. I'm not gonna even, I can vent you to what Puerto Rican. Are we gonna do drugs or what? Let's north to Madden on talk about Puerto Ricans.

I'm so sick. I'm 47 you look good. No, I'm 37 years sober. I'm 51. Oh, geez. Oh, never mind. What made you get sober? Take it back. That doesn't make sense. He doesn't even say, geez. Oh, never mind. Never mind. What made you get so back? It doesn't make sense.

He doesn't make sense. He says 37, you look good. 51. 47, 47, 47. 47, I look good. You look good. But 51, I'm older. It doesn't make sense.

Yeah. The joke doesn't make sense. 51, I'm not too good. 47, you look great. But he's one. Mike got tripped up in a lie in a kiss ass lie. Oh, you look great. Oh, not 51 though.

Oh, geez. But you look great for 37. There's math in that joke and he doesn't know how to do it. Yeah. I'm not a math guy. But you're not amazing. You're fucking, you're faking, there doesn't come that.

Because the dad would throw hot wheels at him and he was trying to his homework. He could have used Guy Robb and I want you to take me on a road. Come on, I want, you know, what are you gonna do? You're gonna need to help us out. I'd rather take this fucking flip flop on the road than fucking have your loud. I mean at least he'll shut the fuck up a couple times a day I got a he'll be reading the book somewhere

Yeah, just you know where we go. I'm fucking Fucking I would tell me about the bang bang robber. I want every day's food robber I don't know if I can go on the Ukraine situation is out of control. No man. It's amazing. I'll never take you on the road. It's okay. It's fine. I love that.

No joke's aside. You're never coming on the road with me. I want to meet 15 years ago in front of me. Did you take Stavros on the road? He was me. 15 years ago front of me. Oh, but then you take Stavros on the road? Yeah, but he was me, he was me 15 years later. There you go. There you go. Look at that. Oh my God, look at you.

Wow, look at that polyshor side character over there. Jesus Christ. What is his ad? It looks like an airhead and see him in him too. What am I watching here? You're not letting him at all. What are you? I know it's my lips. I got nice lips when I watch in here. You know, Latina at all. What are you? I know it's my lips. I got nice lips. I got nice lips. What is your

eye hair? That hair looks permed and the nose you look like you're on this poppins you like you look marisa you look like him. Go on. Keep going. Keep going. You'll catch a girl. That's it. You'll want some any what the fuck is going. You look like I was pretty good. Thank you. It's about time. I got to try his 18 characters in you finally You had to be Puerto Rican to get it fucking Trish. What the fuck is this? What the fuck is this the whole Mark channel? What the fuck is this this hocus? I think it's the first scene of SVU This looks like the hocus pokers. You're like we got it. Stop repeating your jokes

It's just laughed at it. You don't react to you get I know you're Bobby. Bobby, when is the talking over people you fucking ass all? When does the gay sex start? Because this is the guy. You got army hammer behind you. He's about to bite your ass. What does it really does look like a gay scene? Why don't I buy it? Buy a little bit off your ass.

Oh my god, you're so much better than him. Thank you. He's a deeper voice. He has different looks. I can do're so much better than him. I like you. Very good. He's a deeper voice. He has different looks. I can do a high voice character. You can do Tim Dillon, which is between high and low, which is very impressive.

I've never noticed this. Are they going to press play? And you're going to get your ass off. Are you going to talk over me the whole show? You fucking loud putter-reacon? What if I had to have a gay experience, dude? That's the scene. Look at the pressure on his two-middle fingers. I know. he looks like me on Adderall like this grasping for deal I'm actually going I

don't know if I want to do this dude hey Robbie are you wearing hoop earrings you're fucking Sally you don't want to get cancer yeah you're pussy you're gonna get gillest again hey fucking walk backpack then you you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah fucking dirty. Wop This is amazing you look great you look great and you know what you bounce in back to that you should be that for Halloween Why just say that? You bounce and you bounce back You're fucking dodgeball you fucking bouncing back and you're gonna look like Jonas pop as if you be I hope he I hope he gets tired He won't Have way through forgot the Adderall

Do you do Adderall no no look at my eyes? You fucking lion sack of shit. No, no, I don't do I don't do anything. I drink my not all what macy's did you get that watch yet? Oh my god Wait a second This is not for maces. This is from DJ Max Oh my god Wait a second This is from DJ Max Exactly one time actually my want to guess how much I got Robert let me ask you a question please ask me I want you to guess the price of How much out wait a minute this is 100% stainless steel. Okay, 1999

49 90 you paid 49 dollars for a Jesus nine. 49. One time Mike did this on our shows. It's like impress the guest. Like you're not going to believe what a deal I got in this chain. And he was like, guess how much it cost him? We're all like 27 dollars. And he still goes confidently. 49. 99. The market price was 150 bucks. I only pay. What's the market price? Who told you that?

Another Puerto Rican? The shoe was behind the line. No, this is, I'll tell you, you get this. Have 149. What the fuck, Cuba? What the fuck? Oh, third round now. It's $24.45.

What are you fucking? Scarf Fade? Deep track of, I mean. All that happened this year, he's got chain. He's got Spanish in him and he can't do it. There's a Spanish stamp up in there. That's a Spanish stamp up there, okay?

My god, you think you put your mouth like that? You just, no, but you didn't that before. I know to watch a puppet. Oh my god. Yeah, that's what Randy Feltface gets more fucking guest spots than Mike Figgs. He's totally said I'm a racist puppet. Yeah, that's what he said.

He's fucking auto-injewel. You're fucking Jeff Donnell. Yeah, that chain. Now, when you have to wipe the green off your chest that night, why would you wear a Jesus? You don't go to church? I was an altar boy. I went to Catholic school for a very long time. I was an altar boy.

I went to Catholic school too. That's it, huh? I don't wear a fucking crucifix because I don't go to church anymore. He did do a pragg about how good of a deal he got. Yeah, he did do a pretty aesthetic. It's nice to have a little change. What aesthetic?

What do you mean the stereotype? I mean, we're silver silver. I think if you're Italian and Puerto Rican, you're like legally required to wear a cruise fix. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like, if you don't, you'll get arrested. If you go to San Genaro. Yeah, what are you gonna do?

You went to San Genaro, what? Did you go? I hate you, fuck you. You're kidding sucks. On our last show, we had a friend who's in town from LA and he was like, send anos over a price. There was too many Italians who were both like, no, you have to like it.

Here's why you have to love San Jinar. I'm like, you gotta go to the one in the Bronx in all the rev, that's the real one over there. Is there still a tie in up there? It's mainly Albanian and Mexican. Wow, so it's gone. It's pretty much good. Can I ask a question because you have from here? Yeah, like I'm from Boston. The North end of Boston is all Italian still It's beautiful. They kept it you know the businesses all the restaurants all the stuff nothing really squeezed out and

But New York City it seems like the Italians are going away. Yeah, they all moved a long time ago. Where? Florida, Jersey, Westchester. Martin is a little more charming than New York. Yeah. Not only to late too, but New York, literally, I like it because it's like corny, but it's like, fuck you, you fucking fuck t-shirts everywhere. Yeah, you're the tourist, it's out.

The North End, there's still great food. The daily catch, shut out. Well, I mean, North end is still Italian. And I know that Boston was way more racist than New York. I mean, it was segregated. And I'm not saying we should segregate, but I love Chinatown. I love... Yeah.

San Francisco's Chinatown is epic. I love going there. So delicious. Great dim sum. And with that Chinatown in Little Italy, it's not Little Italy, it's Chinatown. I try to tell you, I don't look at it as Little Italy. I go, oh, that's Chinatown. You got a few Italian places, but it's all tourist traps.

Guys, you can use outside, like, come on in, it's all the same. Yeah, the D- A lot of bullshit, like, it's not good shit. Yeah. And Little Italy in the Bronx, that's where you get your real Italian goods. But are they there? Is it one street? They own it, but the Albanians manage it. That's where you get your real Italian goods. But are they there? Is it one street?

They own it, but the Albanians manage it. And then under the Albanians, the Mexicans do all the dirt. I feel like there's no Italian immigrant culture at all at any point. I mean, it's a little bit there. It's a little bit there, that one strip where you ever go to Anzos or Pesquales,

you know, the little Italian restaurants, where they have the oysters and stuff, that one strip on like 187 and all through Avenue. It's, you got a glimpse of like a legit Italian and the Mario's and all those spots. But they're gone. The best Italian restaurant in the world. Ooh.

What is that? Arthur Avenue is still good. I went up there and I had, I forgot where I went. But it was, it was, it was, it was, it was rails up there too. No, rails is, it's Harlem. rails is like almost after Central Park. Okay.

rails is yeah, I've never been there. I always walk by it. I also think North End is under water. So a lot of it. So like, Yeah, but North End is still the North End. What is North End? North End is Brooklyn?

Oh, I know. It's like a big, it's like a really, it's a big, it's a tourist here of Boston, but it's also like cool. The very Italian. Yeah. So the only Italians I know besides like my little family. It's kind of like the West Village, a little bit actually. Okay. Yeah. The only Italians I know are Bay Ridge guys like those I know okay like legit

Is that where there's an Italian neighborhood? I guess so I love Italian neighborhoods. I love authentic time. I love that you know They have a Russian neighbor they have a Spanish they have a Polish yeah, they have a Korean a Chinese Yeah, I mean I like that you get in the Bronx, you get pockets of that, but then it's just so much fucking government housing and bullshit that that takes the rep for all the actual nice cultural spots in the Bronx. They got a Bronx has a bad rep.

You got to know where to go. Or you get stabbed. Yeah, the Bronx is dangerous. It's like dangerous. I don't want to hang out in the Bronx. Some parts are, the South Bronx, anything that's close to Manhattan is getting gentrified obviously Williamsburg all those spots Mm-hmm same thing with the South Bronx Yankee Stadium

You already know they tore the old one down they built a new one. It's getting all corporate There's some nice spots in the South Bronx, but it's getting gentrified as a fucking trader Joe's You know what I mean like you know what I mean? It's trade or I say the whites are coming Yeah, the whites need the walnuts. Yeah They're fucking coconut pecan Coconut pecans funny about bushwick. You'll be like am I gonna get stabbed? Oh a whole food I've never seen a Mexican you have any walnuts. I need almonds with nothing on them I want it. I want the peanuts with the peanut butter in the middle with the peanut butter in the middle You have milk of poppy. I need the milk of poppy. I need a mummy

Where's my free sample of poppy? I'm doing a fucking character now Me ha de mejor, por favor. Me ha de mamá. ¿Qué es mi fría simple de propiedad? Me ha de probar un carácter. ¿Estás haciendo un carácter? ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima!

¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima!

¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! ¡Hasta la próxima! Esta es la tres por uno señal que significa que ya puedes aprovecharte del tres por uno en medianas al omicidio solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? Tres por uno, tres por uno. Ah, no, no, no.

¡Dominos! Pizza. Hey, ¿qué es lo que pasa? ¿Si te ha habido de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los de los pasos de los pasos de los de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los pasos de los So these are the ones with balls. They're putting it out there. They want to make people laugh. They don't care about restrictions or political correctness. They're just doing it the way it should be done. They injected the bono medicine into the penis of paralyzed man. We got a bunch of stuff out there and talking about horseshit.

These guys are bringing shows to the podcast platform that people have been waiting for, like our family jewels. It's an awesome trivia based drinking game podcast that you can play along right at home. There's a dozen of messed up series you can enjoy, wherever you enjoy podcasts. So get on it. Go to Guy Times presents and check out all the hilariously fucked up messed up awesome fun shows. But yeah, but the Bronx is on, you know, when's the last time you've been in the Bronx, but I know there's an Irish section to it, right? McLean Avenue and it's, but it's just a small section. Well, it's Yonkers. Technically Yonkers. Yeah, yeah. Right on order. I don't go. I don't go to the sections. Well, it's Yonkers, technically. Yonkers. Yeah, yeah. Right on order.

I don't go. I don't go to the Bronx. And I miss it on anything really. Yeah, but I, I, I, I, coming to New York back in the day in the 90s, I always heard of all these Italian parts of New York. Is it because they fucking the mob is gone? No, they just fucking left.

Where the mob go, by the way, where the fuck are they? They held heart attacks. They look like, they really just let it die. I think the mobs in Jersey and my grandma, God rest her soul, she used to tell me, she goes, the mob is pretty much dead. She goes, the people that are still in the mob, you'll never know they're in the mob. They're not wearing chains and stuff.

They were in it, but it is what regular, they were in like regular fucking jeans and t-shirts. Like they're very, very under, like very, very, but how they did they go legit? Did they fucking finally do a Michael, Michael Coyone. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not that shit. And they, they go legit and they got real businesses and they're just in that,

in that loan sharks and numbers. That I know the mob still does that. They still in Vegas. They still run casinos and gambling. Perhaps. But yeah, but that's the, the springs is all about like the death of the mob, right? It's in Vegas. They still run casinos and gambling perhaps but yeah But that's that the sprayers is all about like the death of the mob right? It's like I feel like the book and I

The best issues behind I know that they're bad. I know the mob was but I miss them. Oh, yeah great movies I kept the neighborhood dude Priminals that hug and kiss each other on the cheek. You know what I mean? I do like I do I love I'm a big mom movie of like all the mom even the bad ones all I guys every spec women you know respect women. They don't respect women, but they say they do You say about my mother anyway, I'm gonna go to my wife beat up another woman and fucking But they don't kill them. They don't kill them. They're a little bit honored. Oh, let's fit on them Unless they snitch in which case they're dead

Drop round everything once I ruined everything. Once I'd done come out. But they did, they had the nice festivals, they had the neighborhood. Oh, dancing. Kissing on the cheek. They made movies. Dancing like what do you mean like, Travolta, dance?

No, the first thing in the godfather were like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I don't even move with a back in that time with disco and there was an Italian white guy who started in a dancing movie when it was mostly black dudes and Puerto Ricans just killing it all the day before. And just Tony Danza. What if a gay guy dance? You might watch my hit, like a fucking jive tonight. I got an idea, I'm the best dancer in the country. He's actually better at it.

I can't do it. I can't do it for Volta. It's your teeth. Yeah. The distracting when you're trying to... I know. Fuck. I'm awful to you.

I'm sorry. No, no, it's just that bad. Get hit him hard. Now you hit him hard. He's gonna text me at 5 AM. Should I get in physical line? No. I said teeth, not tooth.

That's like I was downstairs. And Michael Chay was like, you look great. I. That's like I was down to this. And Michael J. Was like, you look great. I was like, yeah, I lost the weight. He goes, not the weight. Yeah. But yes, you lost some weight. Yeah.

You know, some, not the. I was like, I got it, you cock second. Yeah. I used to be super fat and then I lost, and I was like, I lost like 30 pounds. I was feeling good and I'd hear it a lot like, you lost weight and I was like, yeah. I mean, they're like, keep at it.

And I was like, God damn it. It's still fat. Oh, dude, it's the worst. But how do you feel? Mentally, how good do you feel? like, yeah, they're like, keep at it. And I was like, God damn it. It's still fat. Oh, dude, it's the worst. But how do you feel? Mentally, how good do you feel? No, dude, absolutely, I feel fantastic. I mean, I feel great, but it is now at that point where it's like, what are you sick?

It's like, you just said it looked good last week. Now I got AIDS. Can you leave me the fuck alone? How's your hammer? First of all, I feel raped. Or raped in that fucking scene. Wait, how's your peck? I feel like I'm back in that scene.

Yeah. That's what he was saying when he was grabbing his shoulder. If that guy... How's your hammer? If that guy was doing a Sebastian voice, that's what it would be like. What's your Sebastian voice? Oh, mommy, it's all right.

My father used to take me at a Bronx back in the good days. I'm like, what are you doing, mommy? You lost a lot of weight. Cancer. You're better when you told to do it. When you do it on your own, you're not good. If you're told they do that, you're good.

There's some type of confidence thing that you get. When you just go rogue like a stallion, you're not good. You need to be true. You need to have someone on you riding you. Okay. Okay. Fix your mind. Fix your mind when I was fat and I tried to sprint at cross country. I'd get about 10 seconds lose confidence and have to walk the rest of the way. Just pull your fucking, you fucking land. Yeah, you fucking, you fucking shit. Wow. What's the bathroom? What's the bastion?

I want to just a bastion sayion say my you're having a mental breakdown What it back? You're fucking tore your ACL that's what I was looking for I said yeah, I'm Thanksgiving's coming up. I'm excited And we know If there's one thing we know about you fake decided about What's the best Thanksgiving side what what we like I mean it's obvious What are you gonna say for his family fucking pig? I don't got gun boole plantains. Cheech out where it was Your Puerto Rican grandmother. No, no, no, no. I only put a freaking person. I know my family and my father. That's terrible

Yeah, everybody put a reading grandmother cook the fucking pig on Thanksgiving. My father's my father made Benille. What is that? Benille is pork shoulder. You're not the Benille? You don't know the Benille? Relax. You're gonna fuckin' make me feel bad. I'm not fuckin' Spanish, you cock sound my Irish.

But you're like Irish Italian, yeah. You like, you like, fool, you like pork shoulder. You know, you don't know who Benille is, right? Why do you get mad at people? I'm getting up second. You're my idol and you don't know who Benille. I'm gonna walk the fuck outta here. Go to LOL comedy.

I go down to the fucking Ben's pizza room. I'm gonna go to LOL. Yeah, open for Gina. They suck off Gina. Gina eats Penino. I'm kidding. Oh, that looks good. Yeah, it's really good.

Oh, I do love it. That's my favorite Puerto Rican food, actually. Yeah. The white is the light. You said, you know, I'm gonna make that. Now, that's a dish, sir. I'm sorry. You know what, Seth? Nomes, the owner of the seller's I love you. Now that's a dish, sir. I'm sorry. Nooms, the owner of the seller's wife's mother.

Okay. Cause she has Spanish in her, and she's Puerto Rican. And she makes that, and I fucking lost my mind. Yeah, it's very good. I mean, it's nuts. Yeah, that would right fit. If you don't like that, with some rice and beans, yeah, I don't want to fucking know you.

I miss that about Bushwick. You get that rice and beans like $5. Yeah. Sure they look at you horribly the whole time and get mad that you're gender-fung neighborhood. But it's delicious food for a child. I don't want you eating their food. No, they want more fucking uncle waiting in line.

You got the last piece of fucking pizzeria. Yeah, hold the good slide. Can you give me that one, please? I like this Ron DeSantis character is awful. Anyway, can I please have the upper nail? Yeah. You're so much better at point awful. Yeah, we Yeah, no, I mean doing we're having a great time. Yeah, you're going to are you going to skank fest? Yes, I am You guys are going

The golden nugget for you We're just gonna hang out the lobby of sea users over Bobby saying hey remember we did your podcast Which are robe and you fucking sweat pants fall off your ass me and are you gonna? Yeah, when I say you look at you look like a librarian like books and a robe and fucking wear today just now right now Oh, what I want yeah, show you mean my my card again. Yeah, that's weird You look the unique nervous. It's queer. Yeah, I look like an asshole. Yeah, I'm going to scare. I can't wait for scared. I actually met you with the last one. What we do. I met you in the dream of Aaron Aaron, like Beckins, me, you guys are both smoking cigars sitting down at Houston and Aaron, like,

Beckin me over and he's like, a, get over here. He's good at impressions. Do Ben Shapiro and I was so fucked up. I was like, ah, for the liberals. And you were kindly like, that's pretty good. You know, like I was like, my Ben Shapiro. It's more like, excuse me, the left cannot mean. Okay, look, I looked into it. They don't know what they're doing.

Okay. They're talking about it. That's not even Smith. Anyway, I love into it. They don't know what they're doing. Okay. Okay. They talk about it. That's nice. Anyway, I love MMA too. That's fucking good. That's good. No, the left doesn't know what they're doing, right? Anyway, past the joint, I love MMA,

and I'm running for president. Ah, he probably will. Yeah, I think you might actually get the combination. Hey, no skank fest, last Skank Fest was good. Too many shows to ask me. But whatever, that's your job. You guys do the fucking three shows a day. I do one show a day.

I'm fucking not doing it. And then off to the spa. Dude, I mean, where are you going to go today? Me and Ari are doing two comics, two cigars. I love that. We're going to do the podcast there, but we're gonna have everybody who wants to come with a cigar, meet us to be in the audience.

Oh, I love that. You guys make guys, I suppose. Absolutely. You know that podcast is for any comedian. Oh, fuck yeah. We're gonna come by. No, no. We made this part, it's me and him of the main guys,

but any two comedians can do that podcast. That do that podcast so if you two get the same cigar yeah that's all you have to do get the same cigar yeah you have to talk about it at the beginning the middle and end what is a fucking wine sommelier fucking class we got to talk about some of the fucking seasoning of the cigars yeah you can I thought we were gonna have a good time I like you know it we were about to get hooked yeah if you have another person All right, Brendan Sagalo me and him That be a good one me and you fucking trader

I'm not for the younger guns me and Brendan Sagalo younger Fuck it. I'll take Joe Mackie me and Joe will go Boy, yeah, I'm gonna do Joe. I could do a pretty good job. He does a good job Hey there. Hey there, buddy. Hold hold right then me and Robbie gonna What's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what I like it. That was pretty good. That was going well. I'll give you that one. You got two. You got a Sebastian and a Joe Mackie. I know this is what I'm talking about. And what if they combine? Hey, guess what?

How Sebastian Mackie and a scalco? What do you sound like, pigs? We're done. So what kind of cigar is this? Oh, you're out. You're not doing it. All right, I'll go by. What if I bring a black and mild?

Can I bring a fucking black and? No, you're not a footie. A fucking mash. Yes, you get a trash. No, yeah, yeah. That's the name of your podcast with Dave Temple, though. Yeah. Okay, you're not a foot of fucking. Yes. Yeah. That'll trash. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the name of your podcast with Dave Temple. Yeah. Oh, there you go. But anyways, any two comedians can do it.

Oh, yeah. I love it. Yeah. I would love to do it. It's kind of feels gonna be a man. Everyone's gonna just be smoking. That's gonna be awesome. Yeah. We're gonna do it. We're gonna find we're gonna find a place to smoke. So hopefully some place will let us come in and smoke. So everybody can come in. But I love that. That's fun. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't like that the fucking they have the f- anyways.

What the photo in the middle? You look a little gay now. I look fat as fucking. Yeah, you look like you look like a runway judge. You look like Kingpin from Spider-Man in that photo. You look like someone from Drew Paul's Drag Race. You guys are doing the open mic. You look like you look like you're like, you look like you're

like, you look like you're like, you look like you're like, you look like you're like, you look like you're like, you look like you're the real, you look like you look like you're like you're like well look like This is what he wrote the front row. You get three each guy you got two more of their fucking chump tits He looked like fucking you look like trans Ursula from the little mermaid. Wow, wordy. You look like Larry Burger King That was good His was a little wordy because he he had a little mermaid because we didn't get his joke. We got it His was a little worried because he had a little murmur because we didn't get his joke. We got it That's it. I saw you got you like a gay Ninja Turtle villain. You look like a the six flags guy ate all the concessions See Robbie does the jokes. I do the bits. He does the jokes a joke is a bit Look you look like Carl's junior soprano

Yeah, I went to the same thing as the burger king. It was the same thing, but I think it was better. It's a little bad, it's more accurate. It's better than his mermaid joke. What the hell? 53K, not bad. Things went into a poem. You look like a wonderful woman. This is what sucks about your generation,

which I feel bad for, because it's not your fault. Okay, is that you have to, you guys care about likes. Yeah, but I hate that, that you guys, you guys, I mean, look, you have to, you guys care about likes. Yeah, but I hate that, that you guys, you guys, I mean, look, you have to, cause it's through, but that was never, and we never, sorry, we never, the only way you knew if somebody liked you is when you got on stage.

Right. That's it. That's it, you got on stage, and the fucking people in the left are didn't, and at the end of the show, they come up, and they come back again to see you. Right, right. Now you guys have to do all this.

You have to have your heart on your sleeve and have people comment. I mean, you guys wake up and look at how well this did. Yes, yeah, we will be reading the comments. So please don't say anything mean, guys. But we're training ourselves not to to you actually want mean comments. No, no, because that actually trends more. Mm-hmm.

Like bad comments get her doing so well. Yeah, fucking a to's. Uh, one of you. One. Now, if you check the comments. Yeah, both of us. Uh, uh, but it's because that dopamine rush is so accessible. So quick, I can wake up in the morning,

get likes and feel good right away. That's because we are trained on an ice hole, you grow up with like fucking Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. I know, I get it, I get it. I literally, I keep my phone away from me in the morning. I don't, I used to go to bed with it and watch stupid videos to go to sleep.

I don't, I try not to do that anymore. I keep it away because the first thing I did when I woke up was I have all these bullshit and then I'd fucking, and then I don't do that. The first thing I, you wanna hear how queer I am? The first thing I do when I wake up is I sit on the edge of the bed, close my eyes and I think about what I'm grateful for.

I love that. The first thing I do is I just focus on the things that I'm grateful for, the things that I have, and then I actually think about shit that I did wrong the day before, and I'm like, alright, this is great. I am fucking, I got so much shit. I'm great. And then I move on.

Yeah. That's actually a great habit. Like honestly, I've been trying to like because I'm in like depressed lately So I've been like trying to like figure out what's the secret of happiness and one of them is like gratitude list and like gratitude is a huge thing in and I mean I know it sounds silly shit But if you wake up because if you wake up to this you're gonna go and see either one or two things You got fucking 100,000 likes and that video was awesome.

Now you're gonna wanna recreate it, which is a fucking crap shoot, or you got none and you feel like shit. And as soon as you see, hey, I got 50,000, you're gonna scroll down one and see some chick showing a pussy, got fucking two million. I know, you can't get it.

So, and you're gonna feel like shit again. It is an up and down thing. But you have to do it, but just don't do it right when you wake up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's my problem. My phone is in my hand when I go to bed and when I wake up. I put it, I literally leave it in the kitchen. I love that.

I leave it in the fucking kitchen, shut it off, and I go to bed, and then, you know, and then I, you know, I have my's ipad and i look that way yeah so it's not my phone so i can look at the likes that way that's great it's the you know i mean because it was not my phone that it's not account it's like it's like it's like it's so fucking thing what's like that no i swear to god i really i got a candle next to my bed my phone's in the kitchen but i've eight monitors set up like the only one the the matrix, just blaring at me, code. Now I do, in the morning I wake up, close my fucking,

and I just recently started doing it, because I was waking up and I was going through these mood swings, where some days I felt great and then I feel like shit, and all of a sudden, I'm up for 20 minutes and I've gone through a 95 different fucking emotions emotions and it didn't make and I oh it's this it's this fucking phone I saw people do dumb shit I saw a guy fucking fall off his bike I saw a bear chase a guy I saw some lady

fucking a 19 king crabs in five seconds yeah people said I'm a fat fuck people say I stink people say they love me I think you're hilarious all this up and down yeah it's depression yeah it's not it's not we're not supposed to and fuck, people say I stink, people say they love me, I think you're hilarious, all of a sudden down. It's depression. Yeah. It's not, we're not supposed to do that. You're actually supposed to, life is, will give you that itself.

You'll feel something that makes you feel bad, which I don't, you shouldn't run from that, or try to bury, you should feel it. But I was, I was waking, now I wake up, I sit on my bed and I just take around five minutes to go through the list of shit. That's great. That's awesome. Yeah, I need to get that habit, like meditating, gratitude, like all that shit.

Because then sometimes you wake up and you have all these likes and you're in a great mood and then you look at yourself, you're like, I'm being nice to everyone only because my video is going viral. I mean, a good mood, like that determines my attitude. You know what's the most depressing? Is when you go viral, you just don't feel anything. You're just like constantly refreshing and addicted to it.

Just not, just like, let's get, I hope this keeps going, I hope this keeps, it's just addiction. It's just like, yeah. It's a fucking crazy feeling. I had one video do a million likes. Hell yeah. Yeah, it's crazy, but I had one video do a million likes. Hell yeah. Yeah, it's crazy, but I was like, the next one didn't.

And I'm like, uh. Right. And I'm like, this is, it's literally out of your control. Now, there's nothing you could do. Yeah, that's it. And stand up comedy, like recently, like I'm looking at my special, we're editing my special and there was a couple jokes in that I like,

whoa, dude. Like, woof. But then wait, like you didn't like them because no, that's a little like a racey. Yeah. And then I was like, it's funny. Yeah, yeah. I'll take the hit. I will take the fucking hit. Put it out there. Yeah. It's funny. You know, and that's it. I will take the fucking hit. Put it out there. It's funny, you know, and that's it. I can't worry about if a certain group is gonna like my standup because a lot of those groups didn't, they don't.

And I don't get, and you try to play by their rules, and all of a sudden you're stunting your growth, and you're not doing what you think is funny. Now look, this, certain things. You know what I mean? We know there's certain things you don't fucking say. Yeah, we know Gino. Yeah.

Fuckin' Gino gets all the shit. But yeah, I mean, I'm saying as a comedian, if it's funny, it's funny. Yeah, of course, of course. I agree. And I mean, and those people who will get mad, they're never gonna be fanned. Like, they're just out there on social media.

They're addicted to social media. And they just want to get mad at something. Like, why would you pour over a specialist to get mad at a joke like that? You know what I mean? Yeah, but look at, if I feel like, if you're, if like, when I'm doing a show, if there's somebody, if everybody likes me,

I did something wrong. Right. There should be some pissed off wife or some angry girlfriend or some do-go-what the fuck. At some point, I should be able to get them back. I should be able to get them back on my side. But they should be, if I'm actually being who I am, then I'm not gonna make everybody happy

the whole time I'm up there for an hour. For sure. They're gonna be like, what the fuck? But I'll get them on the next one. Yeah. You know, like I'm not there for an hour. For sure. They're gonna be like, what the fuck? But I'll get them on the next one. Yeah. You know, like I'm not saying walk the room. No. But yeah, I think if you're just,

that's because that's what makes hacks, right? People were just pure, like, what is, I want the entire crowd to like me all the time. Right, yeah. We all know, like, it actually makes pretty much rich comics. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like that.

Yeah, it's called success. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like that. It's called success. Yeah, yeah. Thigs, what's your problem? I can't do it. Oh, fucking hack it up. But that also sucks too, when you're new to comedy and you're on stage and you think you're doing well and you're crushing in a comic

because you're fucking hack. And you're like, oh, well, they were all laughing. I felt like I did a good job. And they go, what's your favorite comic? You go, Dane Cook. And they go, all right, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, but let me tell you something about Dane Cook. And I don't, we don't talk, I'm not, you know, I'm not defending him out of friendship or loyalty.

If you think Dane Cook's a hack, you're a fucking idiot. Yeah. Dane Cook was murdering before murdering. Yeah, yeah, I came up with that fuck and that guy was killing it. And he also created a style of comedy that a lot of fucking young bucks. 100% of it.

You got me in stand up. Yeah dude, so I don't know what he's doing now. I'm not in fact, I don't know what is good. I'm just saying, I recently got passed in a club where I'm MC in all the time. And you see the older guys and everything. And it's just such a, you know, the aura of like, oh this guy's a hack, you know this guy's this.

And I'm like, it's fucking drama. First of all, if you're calling somebody a hack, you know, this guy's this, and I'm like, it's fucking drama. First of all, if you're calling somebody a hack, the talent isn't afraid of talent. Yeah, I agree with that. You know what I mean? It comes from insecurity when people... We never sat around the, we make fun of each other. Right.

Like I've had, you know, that's the best thing. I've had to talk to someone. We fuck with each other like that's hack or you're a fucking, you know, whatever. But we never really fucking fucked with other comedians. Yeah. If you're sitting around going,

that guy stinks or that guy stinks. Out loud. Yeah. I mean, look, in the privacy you're on home watching the Netflix and you, me and you are hanging out which will never happen. Yeah. Fuck.

And going on this fucking, this stinks. That's me on my phone every morning. Just fuck him, fuck that, I hate that. That's gonna fuck you up though. Because I've learned that I've liked a lot of comics that I didn't think I liked Because I wasn't supposed to. I want to be going on this, they're pretty fucking funny. Yeah. You know what I mean?

That's pretty... That's how I feel now about hating other comics. You know, you have your Brendan Shobbs and your Calons and they're all over the place. And we make fun of them, but I always like tell Robbie I go I go if I meet this guy in person I'm gonna be respectful and nice But what do they have a good sense of humor? They'll be like oh you bust my chops like you know, and it'll be look at Thing what what what what what are people expect Brendan Shobb to do? Just say hey, I don't meet the criterias. Yeah, I have an opportunity right now to make a shitload of money and support my family Yeah, and I you know, I mean I'm just gonna I'm not gonna do it because I don't want I have an opportunity right now to make a shitload of money and support my family. Yeah. And I mean, I'm just gonna, I'm not gonna do it because I don't want a bunch of comics,

a bunch of fucking open-micres not to like me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, look. I'm gonna wear the tightest pants possible. I'm gonna get up there and make millions of dollars. Look, you can, but here's the thing, once you step into the serena, you're gonna be judged. Yeah. I get judged, dude. I know my specials coming out, people are gonna fucking likeena, you're gonna be judged. I get judged, dude.

I know my specials coming out, people are gonna fucking like it, and there's gonna be people that go fuck him. I think there's also a thing of when comics get into comedy from something else. There's a thing like, they skip the line. You know, yeah. I have to.

Yeah, but that's, but what the fuck? People, I look, I've done it, too. We all fucking get like, what the fuck? But that's this business. Yeah, for sure. The fastest horse doesn like what the fuck but that's this business. Yeah, for sure. The fastest horse doesn't win the race. That's it. That's very true. So you have to decide whether you're in it for the long haul.

Yeah. And if you, you know, just worry about how are you? Because it is, it's, you're not competing with anybody. You know, the choices you make, like where I'm at in the business, yeah, dude, what if I did this, what if I did that? That's whatever. That's not mine. You know what I mean?

That ain't mine. You know, my choices and my choices and what's mine is mine. It comes to you. But if you're being all fucked up about other people's success, it's gonna bury you. It will fucking bury you and it will start your growth. Yeah. You should have blind hinders.

Yeah, that's a good question. I was thinking that because I was literally the other day, I was like, just for some reason I had like, fuck this guy, fuck this guy, fuck this guy. And I was like, this isn't gonna consume me. If I like, it's gonna like envelop you like Venom. And just like a four spider man reference. Well, it does not. Yeah.

I knew he was a nerd back on my side. They're back on your side. That boy, that's a nice one. Thank you so much. Like a Venom issue, two forty three. I do like that watch. It's very nice. That's not good.

Well, I mean, talking to guy with fucking three Rolex. Get the fuck three Rolex. I'm kidding. No, you have one. I was hanging out with Louis Fulton. And he's like, I bought a Rolex dog. Did he get one? He was talking about getting one.

And I think he was talking to Berg, and he was, and Berg was like, now I'm gonna touch a pay for it. And he was like, about 15, but don't tell me. Did he get one? Last time I heard he got one. What do you get? He said, don't tell anybody. And now everyone knows that.

When you talk to him, you go fix it, you got a Rolex and then let's see what happens. Wait, who do you think fucking got the Rolex and fucking he was looking at my watch? You probably. Probably. It's the network all over again. He's the thing, a Rolex is a collector's item.

It's an investment. You buy a Rolex, you could resell that Rolex. Did you talk into the guy who owns the Rolex? No, I'm talking to the listeners who might not know. Oh, okay. How many, how many fucking Rolex? No, I'm talking to the listeners who might not know. Oh, okay. How many, how many fucking Rolexes? No, no, no. I have a few watches.

This is Michael Cors. This is a piece of shit. No, absolutely not. That watch is not a piece of shit. The piece of shit. People don't understand that. It's not, absolutely not. I know if you know anything about watches,

there's a whole, I have casios that are worth money. I have sacos that are worth money, that are unbelievable, those are unbelievable time pieces that keep great time and that fucking watch looks awesome. That's a fucking beautiful watch. I love this. I mean, the first half of the podcast, it's like, you're fucking shut dude, now it's,

I mean, I wouldn't fucking be buried in this. I had that exact watch in middle school. I't want to say anything I know you did it I this is a 2022 Michael Corris that big you can wear that watch through Washington Square Park and fucking one of the morning and it's safe yeah what you got on it now we good man yeah you're gonna have to pay them to take it I can hear it from here um no, that is a great watch. I love I like watches. I have a couple, I have a brightling Super mega. What about Omega? I'm buying a Omega right now.

Okay, I'm buying a 2013 Omega Speedmaster, the Moon watch. Nice. And I'm buying it and I'm gonna give it to my son when he graduates high school. 2013 is his birthday. Oh, oh my god. Look at that price No 2013 is cheaper that's a brand new one very nice. I'm buying a but get those patreon numbers up Get the get the 2013 Speedmaster go

No, but you're right watches are definitely invest. Yeah, man like I collect I mean I for a long time I got a couple grand worth of Pokemon cards and comic books You're wearing a fucking Michael Cors. I mean, but I'm holding on to them You know what my kid his his kids not gonna want him. He's gonna want a fucking speedmask You're kids gonna want Fortnite I want a fucking speedmask to you. Your kids are gonna want Fortnite. They're not gonna want Pokemon, go. He wants a box, so cos he's,

poor kids gonna get a card that's worth shit. He's gonna get a Charizard, alright? It's gonna be worth a nice two brain. Kids gonna be like, Dad, what's paper? You know? What the fuck? I got, I got, you know what? His kids, I bet his kids spills water on the fuck.

Get him a watch. You want to hear something horrible? Yeah. You're act, so yeah. Alright, all right give him the band-in Thanks, you know some half Italian and half Boy, you know I buy a big laugh on that I buy my kid what I buy him Pokemon cards Okay, he doesn't really doesn't know he's like seven right and I take the good cards And I go whoa I go look at wow you got this one to me. I'm gonna put it away for you

And I keep it yeah, that doesn't surprise me. You're a Puerto Rican Italian That's like what you take the good stuff. That's what my parents did with any money I got for my birthday Like I'm gonna keep it safe. I never saw that money again. I'm paying for the car. I should I see my parents for like what $1,200 total of birthday money Nice gotta get a Rolex. I gotta get a Rolex. Wow They're on the road. You don't have to get a Rolex. You get a Rolex. You get a Rolex.

You get a Rolex. You get a Rolex. Really? Yeah, Brightlings are Omega, Omega, Omega. They're fucking, they're not that expensive. But it is something, you know, like back in the day, a guy would get a nice watch to get, that's money. You could actually walk into a pawn shop and say, here, and get cash.

Let me ask you a question. Do you have a Michael Corswatch? I wouldn't be said. Okay. Okay. Dead in that. Yeah, I've a Michael Cores watch? I wouldn't be said. Okay. I'm dead in that. Yeah, I've had three day fucking break in six months. I know. They suck.

You get a sec. It's a gift and I love it. Get a saco. All right, I'm gonna tell my girl to get me a saco. Who? My girl, I'm gonna tell her to get me a saco. This was a gift from her. It's a nice one.

It's a nice one. It's a nice one. It's a nice one. I appreciate it, but I know it's gonna be great. I have a bunch of watches like that. I have a watch, it's 100. I wear this watch all the time. I have a bunch of watches. Did you get have a watch that's 100, I wear, dude, I wear this watch all the time. I have a bunch of watches that you get from a cereal box. So this is a $17.00 watch.

Looks like a storm trooper. Get the fuck out of here. This is a Phoenix 7 Garmin. Oh, that's one of the ones that tells you blood pressure. Look at you, you're on the whole regimen. Oh yeah, I have a Garmin too, I think. I use that to when I jog.

Yeah, it's like a military kind of watch. You work out? Oh, okay. I got it. He was really fat. I'll kind of walk. You work out? Oh, okay. He was really fat. He was really fat. I'll fat with you. I was like three-hundred pounds. Wow.

Yeah. You lost a lot of weight. Yeah. How'd you do it? Uh, at a roll. No, I, uh, just eating less. When I was in my parents' houses, they ate like a ton of it. Just when it was around, I just eat everything.

Right. I just eat so much. I don't have that. You're sad. I'm sad. And I just don't have that full thing. You know what I mean? So I have to like, there's a thing.

What do you mean, what is that? That thing that makes you know that you're full and stop eating, I kind of like train myself. Or I just, I can't have food around the house. I have to like keep my portion small. That's what I do. Yeah. I can't either, dude, even now,

like I have to take it out, put it in a small bowl, and eat that, and then stop. Exactly. Yeah. Well, dude, if you look at America, our plates used to be small. Like people would eat like a regular portion, like a piece of protein that have some potato and a little vegetable, and that would be it.

And then I don't know where the appetizer was invented, which is food before food. Also that. And often just as, sometimes I just get apps. I like to go to a place and just get apps. That's a good move, but like the appetizer a lot of times, especially like a chain restaurant, like the Blooming Onion.

That is more than a steak. There's more calories than that than a steak, you know what I mean? Well, it doesn't make sense because you'll get an appetizer, eat that and then a whole meal comes. Yeah. And then you eat that fucking thing. I know. To me, and then you get a little cake.

Yeah, I actually gained like 40 pounds last year, but I'm like getting back down to, I'm also losing weight. So you're a fatty. Yeah, I'm a fatty. Yeah, you're a fatty. Me too, dude. Me too, but what are you gonna do? He's fucking, he's be good getting worse and worse

I gained 60 independent now. I'm like I'm like a fucking male model in this show. I gained six Yeah, I looked like you when you were in your ass plowed that's six that's six babies. Yeah Jesus, I never thought of it like that. Yeah, a lot of Pokemon cards No, I got you married. No, I kind of my girls Dominican. I'm married. I'm married. I'm married. You married? No. I kind of, my girl's Dominican. I live with her. She's a kid.

I got a stepson. I'm married. That's your kid? No, he's my stepson. He's the daddy stepped up. Yeah. So you love with this girl? I love her all my heart.

She's my wife, but she's not my wife. She's smoking. My wife. A smoking hot. You want to see my girl? She is pretty hot to see you. She doesn't speak English, but she's hot. She's getting a picture right now. She's girl. I would she is pretty hot to see you she doesn't speak English She's she's getting the picture right now. She's a school teacher. She's looking looking to calls on a fire. Yeah, look at that

We're looking at my you're looking what really she is It's Brian talent. I was a Dominican Republic. Yeah, go to the next one. Go there's another one where we're at But I gotta show you her face. That's her with other one. She I mean she's got to ask that killed Kennedy look at that But I gotta show you her face. That's her with other ones. I mean, she's gotta ask that killed Kennedy. Look at that. What? Hold on, wait, let me look.

You look at her. There has to have been a second cheek. Is that you at your stomach out? Yeah, yeah, this is one of my viral videos. What's a viral video? Yeah, I'm kind of a hack. This is what it is. We don't have to play it.

I do. Maybe the love you have. Wait, no. Oh. It's just a quick, shut your face. She was talking about liking fat guys, so she likes a guy with back fat. I'm a very good MC. People love me in the crowd. I like a man with back fat, so I jumped on the feet.

Bobby is about to kick us up. No, you definitely have M.C. like any. I mean, that girl, where's your girl? Oh, wait, let me go. You kept telling us to tip our white staff, this whole podcast. Me sure. Wow.

Oh my God, you just threw that out to the nothing. I mean, nobody was there. Oh, yeah, she, oh my God. Yeah, she's a hottie. Beautiful, my college love. You know what, I'm, all right, take it easy there. All right, sorry. Would you fucking buy vocals? Come on. Oh my God. Yeah, she's a hottie beautiful mind my college love You know what I'm all right taking easy there. All right, sorry, which a fucking bifocal's come on. Oh my god Yeah, she's hot. She's beautiful. She's a sweetheart. She's civilian All right, damn the cold's really getting in there. Wow good for you

Beautiful it was a 30 what a beautiful lady. We stood at the Venetian. Yeah, I'm still paying for that trip Are you really at price line, I took out after pay. I did, I did alone from a firm. Venetian's good for a firm. There's a $5,000 fucking trip for just three nights. Yeah. All right, you'll pay it off someday. $5,000 for three nights of the Venetian?

Well, I spent the whole trip when we did a helicopter, we did all this. Dude, I did the same shit though when I was your age. Me and my wife used to go to like a rubah, we used to do all these, and I would throw it on a credit card and I would fucking all this money and I would we would fight and get stressed out. I got to go do this kid. You know all the shit and it's you know you can't do what I do. I could do what you do. All that shit. I think better than a drunk invocation fight. Like you don't even know. It was like a teaky cocktail in. Like, you don't even know what the fuck you're talking about.

You enjoy the vacation knowing that you're gonna have to pay for that shit. Dude, it's all relative to. I know millionaires that fucking owe money. Yeah. Cause they buy, instead of, you'll talk about $5,000 trip, they're buying a million five house. And they're like, they got to,

it's all relative, dude. Oh, and money, but the thing is, is that I've paid back debt so many times and then re, I mean, so much, I'm in debt right now. Oh, that's what you do. Yeah, all the debt I just did, I bought that tiny house, I bought the fucking land. Where's the tiny house?

And then I was up in the hamster, but I didn't know you had to get trees cut down. You're gonna be much of a cost for a fucking tree to be cut down. A lot. Really? I'll do it. I to get trees cut down. You had to cost for a fucking tree to be cut down. A lot. Really? I'll do it. I'll cut down the tree.

I'll get Robbie. I'll come with it. I got an axe. A Joan property. That's good. So go to my stories. You'll never do this. Go to my stories show him.

You'll do this. This is a man. This was the difference. I met this guy this weekend. I'm like this, before you show it, I had to get this tree chopped down at my property in Hampshire. And the guy shows up. I'm like, yeah, it's a huge tree.

I'm like, dude, you gotta climb up there. He goes, yeah, I don't fucking want to. I'm like, why? This tree should have been chopped down 20 years ago. Wow. But I'm going, I gotta go up, because my boss told me to do it, because he said, if I don't do it,

he'll come and do it in 20 fucking minutes. Wow, so I'm like okay. He climbed this tree with rope and Fucking feet eggs Jesus with a chainsaw Climbed up this thing cutting the branches as he goes Oh my god, and then he's your house in a DR What's up? What's up? Look at this guy, but I need you to live. That's a beautiful tree. That tree's dead. Look at, but wait, stop.

Zoom in on that fucking guy. That's what my hair looks like. Watch how big that tree is. That's over a hundred feet, dude. If that guy falls, he's gone. Yeah. Like I would have quit 10 feet up. I'd be like, look guys, I'm gonna leave.

I quit, I'm gonna get another job. Yeah, I'm not. I said zoom in. I can't. Okay, okay then just say that don't make me just sit here Waiting for you fucking ass hole Yeah, yeah, watch it. Did you tip him this guy? Yeah, I tip him. Yeah, I tip him. How much you tip him? Look at that fucking thing look at that. Oh, you Well, you have an iPhone 9. But look at that. That, you'll just stand out big.

That is. That's not good. There's no feature to it. Look, fucking slow motion. Thote, iPhone X off. This guy came down and just cut the trees fucking. And then he got to the bottom. I was like, that's enough.

That is crazy. You want me to do more, Mr.? Oh, man. He's like, I'm the king of the tree. All right. That's enough that is crazy You want me to do more mister? He's like I'm the king of the tree Alright that's a name That's a name? Where was that? Online a Disney World? What was that next? Oh I thought you were lucky

Today on two comics, two cigars, goofy and mini Wait Universe, Antonio, start into the galaxy right We're getting the minions on the show today, dude. He's better. Ha ha ha ha ha. You're too high-pitched. That's amazing. That's cool, man, but look at that.

But I mean, like you said, you wake up in the morning, you gotta be grateful for that. You gotta cut in a tree and you're backyard. Absa fucking loop. The money's worth it just to see that spectacle. That was incredible. Yeah, no. Ah, wait, we should cut it.

How much was it? How much was it? I don't know. It's thousands. Yes. You, I wish I could have. How much was it? How much was it? I don't know. It's thousands. Yes. Really? The guy who risked his life, the climate tree, the tree that's going to do. Yeah, but what else is he going to do?

Yeah. Cut a tree that's not going to kill him. Yeah, that is crazy. No, anyways, no, yeah, but you, it's all, it happens. There's only a few guys that I know have a ton of cash that can never, I mean, look it, they're never gonna worry about money. And those guys, let me tell you something about those guys.

Right now, they're fucking so happy. Yeah, they say money can't be out to stay. The whole time you're saying is I'm just thinking of Tim Dylan's Patreon. I'm just thinking of the 10,000, that's not Tim, Billy Byrne and Joe Rogan. Oh yeah. At least he can, he's 10, 100,000. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of talent in Billy Byrne, fucking Joe Rogan. Oh, yeah. Lucy K gets cancees like, well, at least I have a house made of money, you know what I

say. Um, I got a couple things on the news. We're going to we're going to wrap up soon. This is great. Uh, we did at least two hours. That was good. That was fast. No, it wasn't two hours.

It had to be at least an hour and a half. Nope. An hour 15. 30 minutes. We're wrapping this up. It didn't go that. It had to be at least an hour and a half. Nope, an hour 15. Yeah, 30 minutes. We're wrapping this up. It didn't go that fast, Figg. Joe, it was at least three hours. It just felt like five hours. I'm gonna tweet, I killed on Bobby Kelly.

I did two and a half hours. He's taking me on the road to cut a tree. We're going to Disney World, me and Bobby. We're getting a saco and a speed master. What is that? What is that? At least you make him laugh. That's why I keep him around. That's a good, I mean, that's a good, I'm seeing stick just a call back to anything. Robbie, what is this about you and Lewis messing with Shane Gillis's agent during the SNL

scandal? Oh, yeah. So, uh, so this is like before Shane. Why do you turn bisexual when you're serious? So, oh wait, oh you want to know about that? What the, no, this is about Shane. Let me dish, let me dish about Lewis and Shane. Yeah, what, let me spill the tea right now. Here's the tea sis.

Listen, um, that's the serious thing. So let's talk about it. And I'm glad we're doing it at the end because I've been hilarious this whole time. Let me rub my cheek and put my hand, let me put my wrist on my side. What is this? What is it?

Did I say I'm from San Francisco? I love the castrow. It's beautiful. This time of year. Oh my God. It's in me. It's in me, a man's penis. But it's asses in you.

How can a man's asses in you? We do weird Bobby Kelly 97 sex. Man puts his ass in me. He's just a little ass bumper. Yeah, we're like running Stimpy. If you guys started banging, that would be... But we put our asses in. I would never be able to...

With this fucking monster of a man. Oh my God. You have a big penis? No, no, sorry, maybe He's a hairy guy. He's a guy's guy I'm sorry you're like a guy with no hair. You're like a nice guy with Boxes in my apartment. I like a guy who's waxed. I like you. I like a little fucking bowling ball The man who's got a say go in a cardigan. You fucking shop at Zarya half a game. That's what I like He's like I ain't gay. That's what I like

I ain't gay. I need you to wax before I have sex with the man. He's too much of a main man I can't you know like you know like testosterone. No, that's the general way I want to pork a nice sweet guy Yeah, you like a You have a bit with a chick with a penis. No, no, but I'll tell you man. There's some somebody's training He's a car. I. There's some somebody's trainees They don't call them somebody's transgender. Oh my god The fuck I've been fooled. I've done shows. I've done shows. Yeah, look up. Jessica Dubai. You are a good actor. Yeah, just do by there's some hot ones

There's some I know I know I'm beautiful you know, I would want in another life I would bring her up. Why? Fucking red it will go nuts. Oh, be who's this girl? What the fuck did we get into having sex? I was happy. You did. You were talking about it. You tongue away. What was that? You freak. What is this?

What's that? Okay, look at that. She's got a fucking Okay, look at that. She's got a fucking Stromboli on her holy Jesus. We can't show this. We can't prove it off YouTube. I'm not showing it. Look, it looks like one of my aunts.

Yeah, I was about to say figs. This just kind of looks like it. I'm getting fully erected. It's a breakdown. It's a breakdown, Bobby. Oh my god, look at that. Some, it's very, I like when they have a small penis. I admire the transsexual.

100%. I like transsexual. Yeah. But I'm on... have a small penis. I admire the transsexual, 100%. I like transse... Yeah. But I'm on... If they're hot. Yeah, you know what I take to get her hard though? Oh God. None of us would be able to do it.

No, I couldn't not satisfy her. Yeah, we couldn't satisfy her. Even if she didn't have a penis. Bobby, I smelled her breast. She was on a show. Oh my God, that poor guy. Look at that guy. No, you need a comic.

No, not that guy. I'm not sure I'll share it with small. Look at her. I'm gonna look at penis. What? I'm gonna show my card, that poor guy. Look at that guy. No, you need a comic. No, not that guy. Share it small, look at your rod. I think it's supposed to be. I'm gonna look at penis. What? I was just under your rod. Oh, this poor guy had a, this is the worst part about that. That's a photo, so he had a pose for that.

Wow, race wars got weird. Yeah. Put your hat back on, Sherrotto. Uh, I smelled her breast and I'm telling you right now, Bobby, that smelled like my cock. He smelled like, when you see her, you're like, wow, this is a chick. Even with the cock, this is a chick.

And when I put my face on her chest, I felt the hairs. I felt the stub and it smelled like you never dated a Greek chick. Never, no, no. I love their just on her still. It's just like, let's just take a look. Yeah, we gotta take her.

I'm fucking feeling it. You're getting horned up, huh? I'm gonna take a 150 out of my account tonight. How do I know the press? Yeah, It's like 20% off a regular actually. I heard trans hookers are more expensive. Now they are now that we're Popping now that now that Norton made it fucking okay to do it Do you think he's ship chiperson when he fucks them? Do it. Do you think he's a chip chipper sin when he fucks them? Chip chipper sin's a hard podcast to do. I've done it a couple times and I didn't know what to expect

and I'm just like, what is going on? He's just running with them. I had so much fun, but it took me a few of my, you know why? You're not a mental patient, that's why. And this fucking series, it's being a real person. I know, yeah, I got, I got there like chip is amazing.

Yeah, of course. That Jim Norton's a hack, but I love chip I'm I supposed to pretend I'm retarded to yeah He's like you do bad impressions to when I'm like I get bad. I do chip. I'm chip. I'm just you I like a lot more. Yeah, how much fun. You know, it's hot. Hey, when you get to a fight do you bite people? Oh, I would love to You look like you're a bider. Yeah, it's the tooth. It's the tooth that kept me from trivolting. It's not the tooth that you're fucking little demonized. Oh, this is why I don't get me.

This is why I don't get fucked with in New York because homeless guys are like, ah, I'm like, ah, yeah, that's right back at him. And it's just like a battle of eyes. You have scientists fucking help her eyes. You know what's funny? Is it used to be worse? But then once you get laid regular,

when I was not getting laid, it was way worse. Yeah, you were like, you really do look like Igor. You should see me next to Ralph Sutton. It's like we're in a horror movie. Robert, do you want to be on SDR? Robert? Yes, Robert.

So today we're going to hang out with the leasing of right. Look at that talk. Can I talk to the bases from Dvo? Robert. You're all recovered, right? Shannon, all pull to the basis from D. V. O. Ralph? You're all recovered. I tried and all pull up the cradle mad. Yes, I can't wait to see with a golden nugget. Ragus. He's a Frankenstein. He's a Frankenstein.

What are you going to do? He's got money. Good for him. The late singer. A rap. Let's give ZZ Top a show on the network. Ralph, can I stand it backstage during the poison concert? Guys big gasp we do big steel panthers on the show tonight everybody around our yeah. Huge show Chris Angel is gonna stop by. Guys I bought you one of Tommy Lee's drumsticks like you asked. You ask sponsored by rock auto Holy company We love gas did we love I'll get you on this network

We funny if Lewis just boot you You can make fun of me, but don't make fun of how much Ralph wants to go. That's off limits, doggy. I'm a doggy rat and one hit. So what did you? They're two. What, uh, what did you and Lewis do? Oh, so it was like, where is it again? Oh, so I don't know how to tell a story without that channeling a game in. How why? Because it's gossip. I don't know, I'm a bad story.

You're gonna start singing like Mateo Lane, be careful. Hello, so Lewis. So Lewis and I, Lewis and I, he had me call in as Shane's agent, like Rhyder rounding is getting Asinal or whatever. Oh no, he had me call an as Shane I called in and I was like yeah, I did a fucking famous now, dude and fucking my fuck I got Jewish agents Dude, they're fucking hookin me up with fucking I'm gonna Hanukkah parties dude and fucking network king I'm in the new Woody Allen movie like all that shit. Yeah, this is it. Yeah, I bet this would be better than what you're doing

Yeah, I got right now now's the right? Just trying to get it working now. Who's that English guy? I want to play. Hold on a minute, I have a gun of calling. That's actually one of the blind kids. He took so much creative. He thought he was an England. Oh, that's column.

Yeah. Just transferring Shane through it. Give me a hand. Or transferring Shanta, all right, great. Thanks. Who is is that his agent? That's a big deal. And that's a huge fucking announcement.

So his agent watched this. They had no idea and they thought it was actually him and then Shane got in trouble with his agent Because he thought what I was saying in this stupid impression was actually him. Oh, yeah like making Fuck as we never even speculating wow. Yeah Shana you there Well, the blue is you fucking gay retard stop, stop. That's fucking good. Yeah, yeah, I lost it. I get worse in impressions. No, it's so good. You were ready. What's up, Shane? What's going on here?

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm fucking poolside dude. Just like my agent. Oh, yeah. It's just happening, dude. I know. I'm excited, dude. You were telling me you're fucking crushing it. And we've been talking about doing a podcast together for a while.

And we were trying to come to terms with this deal. And I'll pull the curtain aside a little bit for everyone listening. We tried to make Matt and Shane sick of podcasts work here on the Gases of the Network. We tried and tried and tried. And we come up with it. This is all real. Yeah. yeah Lewis is literally like Shane would ever

yeah this is like Shane would ever go to record doggy we're trying to do something we had we would Tim Dylan bastard radio port to haven't felt like all right get someone who could be Shane who wants to be on my network I'll do a little fanfiction role play. There's the problem. I mean, feel Bathalo is the problem with fucking networks is that as soon as they get famous, they're like, yeah, I'm out.

Yeah, I'm gone. Nah, we're garbage. You're outta here. Yeah, you're garbage. I'm sorry, I lost for long second. I can't wait for that. If you're still on a network, you're garbage. You're garbage.

You're gonna be doing $200 a week to do a show, you're garbage. Tim Dunlin was like, how much are you gonna give me a month? Okay, I'm rich. You're getting me. You're getting $200 a week to do a show. You're garbage. Tim Dylan was like, how much are you gonna give me a month? Okay, I'm gonna leave. $2000 and a cradum subscription. I gotta go. You just fucking bounce. $200k a month.

Yeah. That's not Tim Dylan. Who is that? Somebody. That's Jim. That's Jim. That's it. That's it.

But it's Tim Dylan. Tim Dylan's talking about., it's Jim Dylan. Jim Dylan's talking about you. It's that. Yeah, right. Jim Dylan's talking about Roos Kris steakhouse. He's like, if you call it a Roos Kris, you're gonna have to bake it. I love it. The bacon is great. Ukraine is an odd fire. You're doing Trump. Well, your Trump is fucking Jimmy and Glick and Tim Dylan. We've heard Tim's kind of doing Trump these days.

Because that is like, he's like, Bobby's like, all right, play it. Play it like Bobby's like all right play it With every deal possible And unfortunately we couldn't make that deal work what happened with McCusker what have one man? If you just want to be a fucking retard at home fucking hang out of high school people Fucking jerking off open mics that shit. I'm out here hanging out with Shepelle with Birdman I'm fucking ice cube dude I've got the Jewish agents I mean I'm in with the J's dude I'm going to fucking I'm going to fucking Hanukkah parties man

We thought it was trying not to laugh I've heard of Woody Allen. He wants me to the next fucking movie, dude. Can you get an L.A. right now? Yeah, dude, fucking byco sould, dude. Fucking you kale. I'll fucking jump in jacks. I'm gonna cut my next summer, dude. You can gain in part two. I love it, dude. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so such a good one. Oh, thanks so much better recorded than live. I think the phone. I think the phone

started to make it like perfect. Yeah, that's funny dude. So it's agent got mad. So Shane what the way Shane describes it. He's like I was just like playing cold duty in my agent call me. He's like, hey, uh You we told you to chill right because you're on SNL and stuff and he's like yeah, what did I do and he's like You just ate a bunch of retarded Jewish agents. You just said the J Yeah, it is like you just said you have Jewish agents and everyone's gay and he's like that wasn't me But that's something I would say So did you get mad at you guys he loved no because I talked oh I he loved it. I mean Shane's Shane's always been really sweet to me and really nice to me.

I thought you were having a stroke there for a second. Yeah, what the fuck? I was, because I remember, actually, I actually thought I remember. I remember, Shane and I, well, we were kissing. And I actually warned him. I think the week before I was like, hey, they asked me to be on RealSpotCas new and impression

of you, he was like, oh, okay, whatever. And then afterwards, I think the fact that it was funny, he was like, oh, they asked me to be on RealSpotCats and do an impression of you. He was like, oh, okay, whatever. And then afterwards, I think the fact that it was funny, he was like, oh, Robbie's funny. So now it was like, even though he's going through hell at the time, I think he's like, oh, that's good. Yeah, Shane's one of the best. Fuckin' level. Very, very talented.

I listen, man, we got some questions. But before that, what do you got coming up? What do you got plugs? Oh, man, fucking, I'm gonna be in Toledo with Lewis and Berg in two weeks. That's right on the Fend everyone tour. Yeah, so I'm opening up for those guys Fuck it. I think Friday Saturday sold out, but Sunday there's a couple shows body tickets At comic Mike figs on Instagram all that stuff Robin fig subscribe to the YouTube page

Yeah, yeah, fuck yeah, and Fix and I will also be co-headlining the Autobahn Baltimore on October 8th. Ticket links are up now. We also got Joe Gorman on there. And Nick Older shot. It's gonna be a great show. I've been promoting it for a while. It's gonna be banger. And what's the podcast again? Young guns. Young guns at Robin Figgs. Young guns. You find it on Figgs. We're at Robin Figgs on social patreon.com slash Robin Figgs, but Young guns is the name of the podcast. And it's on gas digital.com slash robin figs but young guns is the name of the park and it's our guest digital we record there and i mean we record there

they grooming us let's just say that i look at that so lewis was grooming me uh... robbercannon live dot com uh... i'm going to be at munchunk uh... theater uh... in uh... jim to a p.a. newtown theater in newtown p.a. I'm going to be at Montchonk Theater in Jim Thorpe, PA, Newtown Theater, and Newtown PA, and of course, Skankfest. Then I'll be that week, Skankfest, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday

at the Comedy Seller, Vegas. If you're in Vegas, and you're listening, and Cleveland in November, and then Boston in December. And I mean, Jesus, November, November 12th, I'm in Boston at Comics come home. East Providence, I love that club. And then, last Boston, I am all over the fucking place. My specials coming out at the end of the month. Go to ComicRails.com, get the new T-shirt, fuck the check spot, wear it at my shows.

And when they bring the check over, just point to your shirt. And anything YKWD is up there. Get yourself a hoodie, the hoodie's the YKWD, retro hoodies up there. We still have the Skankfest hoodie from last year. We're gonna be coming up with a new one. And I got a very special announcement coming out

on the fifth of October. I believe that's next week. Yeah. We got a big announcement, a big show happening. And if you're a fan of this podcast, you're gonna love this show we're doing. It's another side podcast. It's going to be a streaming event,

and it's gonna be awesome. We got some, so make sure you check that stuff out. And we got some questions. I was like to do the plugs in between the questions. So they'll tune out. Let's find out. All right, we got some questions, all right, ready? Max O'Connor, now that Bobby has established himself

as a kingmaker after anointing Lewis J. Gomez and a now famous Felatio ritual, are you both now prepared to do it as needed in order to get the Bobby bump to success? I don't know what that is. It's clear from how I tell stories that the answer is yes. I don't understand this question. He's our most Lewis sucked you off. Yeah, he wants to know if we'll shove a gun in our ass for you.

Yeah. And the answer? Yes. Yeah. The answer is, we're in our 30s and we're still of day jobs. Yeah, the answer. Roll laps me, Bobby. We'll do anything.

The first live wake at YKWD where we did the blow jump was hilarious. Bailey J was there, and she forfeited. We had another hot one. Because, oh my god. But she forfeited. We got another hot one. Because, oh my God. But she forfeited, because, I mean, Lewis suck the best dick I've ever seen. I thought that was real.

For a second, I know. I was really, everyone thought it was real. Yeah, because the dick look real. That's why the next one we got a blue dick. He was good at it. I think it was, so good at it. He was a Lucy K's movie. He's a good actor.

He's a good cut, though. Yeah. I would get cut. Bobby Kelly. Ray Mons. It was a Lucy case movies a good actor he's a good cut though. Yeah, I Rain, Bobby Kelly, Ray Mons. This is a random as hell, but Robbie is half Afghani and she actually she wrote Imparethus because she knows I'm dumb Afghanistan As opposed to the other Nicole.

I didn't do that. It was part of the question. Okay, I thought you were just saying dummy won't know what that means. I was about to say that's good producing. And gas usually be like, what does that mean? Figure it out. Have you ever been there and what was it like? Absolutely not.

My grandma went like when we were kids and we were all like really worried she'd die. But yeah, it's been like a war tornado. You do have a, you look like not a full F-ganny, but you look like interpreter face. Yeah, it's like you worked with us. Yeah, I'm the gay interpreter. Like, yeah, you walked in, it was like you started just, you know, he said, yeah.

He's like, he said that you should book Robbie. I don't know where her stuff, yeah, for sure. I'll take it. Yeah, I was like you started just you know, he said yeah, yeah, he's like he said that you should book Robbie I'm more stuff. Yeah for sure. I'll take it. Yeah, he's got suspicious package eyebrows. Yeah, all right Do you two guys do impressions of course we figured this from Zach if so can you both do an impression of a successful touring Comedian, I knew that was coming. I was like, all right, an impression of a funny comedian, an impression of a successful comedian, an impression of someone who's not a hack. We got that a lot. I mean, if you weren't,

I'm not eating a dance. How about you doing an impression of an original question there, buddy? Clip it. Next question. So you wanna do it? What do you want? You're literally spitting out impressions at,

all right, ready? Ready for the mountain. Now when you're asked to do it, I got you. I got you. Charlie Murphy. Charlie Murphy. You're gonna do Charlie Murphy. Yeah, yeah, ready?

Okay. It's been a long time. It's been in this podcast. We just, Robbie, Bobby. Who kind of was it? It's a psycho watch. So what kind of watch did you do? Fat motherfucking?

That's just an old black guy. Clip it, young guns. Oh, it's me Charlie Murphy. Cat Williams, you want Cat Williams? I got it. Okay, this motherfucker, Robert Kelly. I've seen this, almost said the end word. I've seen this motherfucker.

He has 17 different pounds on him. It's what pants was sagging. Looks like a bag of potato. Okay, play it, let me tell you. Who's that Steve Harvey? We got the top 10 answers on the board Who was having a sense with Robert Kelly and that's it on this heaven? Horatio Sam

Go ahead Like that Gregory was the guy's name fuck off you prick. Yeah, fuck you he was for you Oh, I thought he was no he was trying to use fuck with us He said can they do an impression of someone who would actually be successful. That's true. Yeah, I like that wrap that Put me up. We are successful and you know what dude fucker Dude we started off really good. I know is I knew you're gonna peter out. I know how the shit Myself is 40 to me I know how the shit works. I hate myself. It's been 42 minutes. Fucking loser.

There's no fucking way. You came into hot. I tried to tell you, you fucking dirty asshole. You're coming in hot. Bring it down. First of all, all your black comics are the same. It's me, cat Williams. The top five things. the top five drugs.

I'm not built. No, this is the bad thing about the building. Side of you, Eddie Murphy. I'm being a lady. I'm a movie. I mean, I can do Eddie Murphy. What was that? That's a guy who fucking is a shrimp place in fucking Georgia Charlie but five you like to fight you gonna like the fight challenge We'll get a break. We're gonna go get a good hold thing again. We'll put a holding on

Let the fire challenge I'm doing oxygen here What the fuck was that? Was that was delicious dude? That was that's not the The fuck is hilarious right now dude Pay for my fucking candy. All right, bet. Yeah.

Bet he Jets has a question. actual question for the boys. Are you doing a live podcast at Skankfest? I don't know. So we have, okay, so who the fuck it? We're not supposed to say we're going to Skankfest. So it's a, they've emailed us and said, you're in Skankfest, but don't tell anyone

we're gonna announce all the P.O. live on a show. Yeah, yeah, but we'll be all right. So, he has a true, does he know how Lewis worked? This is live, you live stream this? Yes. Oh boy, all right, well, Toledo next week. Yeah, it comes here in Baltimore, the only show we're doing on the show.

Let's say if we're going to Skank, because I mean, like really Rob Bobby, who really is a false? Well, that Lewis kind of spilled the meme. Yeah, he spilled the meme. So, so the truth is, we don't know what's going on. We know we're there, well, we right go there, and we don't know what we're doing.

We would love to do a live podcast. Wow. I think about it every night, like what I would do. You're terrible. It would be spectacular. You're really bad. Last year we did a, me and my old podcast, Figs was on it too, the loud boy,

as we had Kurt Madd's screw on the show and Kurt walked off that way through. He was like, I don't wanna be on this podcast anymore. So their loud boy show was the first show was kind of fest Houston. because we had Kurt Madskar on the show and Kurt walked off that way through. He was like, I don't wanna be on this podcast anymore. So their loud boy show was the first show, Skankfest Houston, and it was wild. It was crazy, everyone was drunk, whatever, and Kurt, after it was a lot of talking over, and Kurt was just like,

Kurt was like, is this a show where I watch people drink? And he just said that. And then I made fun of him and it was good. Yeah, no. And then after he approached me, he's like, hey, I wanna use you for something. Yeah, he was cool. I don't believe this

What the rest of the question then Mike what was the first voice you did growing up? Mike Myers awesome powers fat bastard. Let me hear it All right, I'm fine. It is like I'm got. Oh, let me say where's my money Where's he you know, where's my merger and he would go where is my money? I've got a total head peak in eight. That was it. That was it. That was my, I mean, I was a kid. I was 10 years old. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. I got bigger corns in my crap. I don't do it now on stage. I don't fucking do it now. I don't make think I think you said I think you got to bring that back. I feel I want to walk off my puck.

All right, listen, keep it up boys. I'm coming to Vinny Cash. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, man. What's Vinny Cash? Stress fact, oh Vinny Cash. Vinny Cash, the guy from fuck, he's a big patron donor. He's sweet.

He don't it's like a hundred bucks a month or so. Oh, he's a good guy Vinny Cash. Yeah, he's one of our hardcore fans. You gotta love that. Thank you, Cash. Funny that Vinicast came through. I love that. Hell yeah, shut up Vinicast.

Big shout out Vinic. You bought our Skankfest tickets. Or it's fucking... But you're not going there. We're not, which we last year. We, you've paid off our debt. I was talking about last year. Yeah, we, we were talking about last year.

Come on, I wanna get it. Don't be, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're a whole agent. Like, what are they, what are they called with kids in the whole? What are you gonna, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're,, don't be like, we're gonna be a fucking we're gonna be a whole agent, like, what are they called with kids in the hall? What are you gonna give me? What are you, a Dean? You're really dumb. Listen, I mean, you can't fucking eat.

Who do people in the hallways where you gonna to bat the music guy if you'd have a whole bag? I like, what are you all, what are you all, monitor? Hey, no, thank you, Rob. What, Figs? You need him.

You peed around 26 minutes into a show. I listen, YouTube. You need him. You Peter out 26 minutes into a show. I Listen you two Figs and Honor, it's been an honor man. Listen you two. It's been great. Having you on. I'm glad you got you come on you guys hilarious Oh, thanks. I really appreciate as I said I was a fan. So this is a real treat for me. Oh good, man We'll have you back on again. Yeah, yeah, you guys always have to come on together on together. Okay, I split us up. Yeah, I'm afraid to split you guys up. We're way calmer when we're not with each other. I know, we're way calmer.

We're a lot like actually, we're like the kids you had to split up in grade school. Yes. You know, because we get like jumpy. Yeah, because you suck each other off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna touch butts later. Yeah.

All right, we'll make sure you check these guys out. Check them out at Skankfest if they go. Yeah, they are going at Robbie Goodwin. They're going to Skankfest. I'm telling everybody right now. Oh, news, breaking news, everybody. Breaking news, they'll be at Skankfest. And make sure you check it out.

What do we have to, we got Joe at Joe Krassel is here, getting married next week. Congrats. Oh, the rats. Are you excited? Where's the wedding? Around the corner in the back of a restaurant Good looking kid good romantic. I may have some enthusiasm. Yeah, exactly. We're doing an alligator lounge Yeah, I get the fucking Williamsburg and made a car mines. I mean I gotta eat my my part triggers I'm getting married at the grizzly pair. Let's go to the stand. We'll get Robby and there's a whole thing. Nah, why not?

There's gonna be food and all that stuff. I'm good. Come on. No. You wanna hang out, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be a movie, it's gonna IFC.

You wanna go to a movie together? Mike's like, take me to Louis CK's house. I wanna be Sebastian. Please tell me you know Sebastian. Nicole, new Nikki. You got anything? Uh, my Instagram is Nicole C Lions. Check her out. She's the new Nikki. She's the one rocking. And of course, at Mike V. Suarez, hooking up the new, uh, we do the extra podcast. I do an extra show for all my Patrons every week, only on Patreon. Uh, we're going to be doing this

either tomorrow or Thursday. It is every week extra show for patreon people only if you're watching this on youtube go become a supporter on my patreon patreon dot com slash robbert kelly you get an extra shove week you always get to be in the chat live you get to be a supporter in the show you get the shows early you get the caltering kelly extra show you get to be a member of the j. on Saturday nights. We all jump into a Zoom around at 10.30 to around 2 in the morning

and we talk shit and fuck around. So join that thing. If you're watching here, make sure you subscribe, like, comment, and we'll see you guys next week on You Know What That! con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad.

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