Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rock Paper Tickle | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #68

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss if babies know jet lag, how Shane Gillis was as a guest, Luis and his girlfriend’s new game Rock Paper Tickle, Joe not moving to Austin, Danny’s topic: who had the least steps, Bobby working in a styrofoam factory, Luis’ school stories of night school, skiing with James, if a vampire bit an indian, who can make a better paper airplane, what’s their 5 million dollar movie, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital.  LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/  https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/  ChubbiesShop Chubbies’ biggest sale of the season for $45 and under on Swim Trunks, Shorts, and Pants. Plus up to 65% off clearance! Get 20% off with code regz at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/regz LucyGet 20% off first order w/ code “REGZ” https://www.lucy.co Mint Mobile Get your wireless bill to $15/month! http://MintMobile.com/regz BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ ShopifySupport the show and sign up for your $1/month trial of Shopify. Head to https://www.shopify.com/regz Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fill her up. Joe List. Dan Soda. How you doing? And one, two, three, three, four, five, six, seven. He's always texting going up. He's taking care of business. He's on his Shopify.

Shopify. He's on his Shopify. He's on his Shopify. Ding. He just got a fucking coffee order. Ding. Ding. Hang on one second dog. You know what dude?

Ding. You feel bad about America, bro. I feel bad about America because I just went to a Yemen coffee shop. And I got... They didn't get my coffee. Paco got me nothing. Damn. Get in here.

There he is. Yemen lime. Louis... Ten seconds ago. Ten seconds ago. After you buzzed. We started at 10.30. After you buzzed.

Lewis. You buzzed? And we said he's here. We started at 1034. What is this? I didn't get a... Paco, why didn't I get a coffee? Damn.

I told you years ago, don't have... ask me, just get me. Oh. I get the same thing every week. That's a good bumper I don't want you to have to worry about it. Don't ask me, just get me. I had to go get my, I got, I went to a yemen coffee shop. So why do you feel bad about being an American? Because it's, it's a Muslim place. So what?

It's really good. Damn, you guys just heard it here first. Bobby got radicalized. I did. He did. He got radicalized. He went like this, too. He went, they didn't have the ice. He goes, I will get ice in five minutes, please. But please, try this chai. And he gave me a little cup.

And I go, I like this. He goes, I will give you a large cup. You take this. And then he went like this. He went like this. Robert, you're strengthening our alliances. Lewis, you look upset. We started less than six seconds.

No. Less than six. No, Bobby said, I feel sad about him. I'll catch you up. I'll tell you everything that was said before you got to. We did the ads. I'll tell you everything that was said. We did the work.

Your body brain ad? No. You wouldn't do that without you. Why are we going to do that without you? I don't even know what's in that stuff. Why are you mad? You're a little mad. You are so.

bad at your poker face. You're so bad and not being mad. Your poker face is shit. Lewis, can I say something? I was four starting without you, but I had nothing to do with that. Oh my God. That is such a bitch move. What a bitch you. You bitch. I'm saying. No, you're the

literally, he said we should... This is so funny he's mad. If we... If he's mad, we started, we started 10 seconds before. I just feel like you could have waited another 10 seconds. It's funny that we started... It almost feels like it's a smack in the face to start before I get up to... You know what's weird? A smack in the face that you're late. Yeah.

That's a smack in the face. You know what other smack in the face is that we had to do all the ads? I'm doing my fourth. I'm doing my fourth podcast. I'm doing my fifth. I showed up three minutes. I don't book you. Oh,

I don't book your days. I know everyone loves to get in a spit spat about who's making the biggest sacrifice. You shouldn't do it this week because I got you guys fucking destroy. What's your sacrifice? He's got to be. I killed Marty. Sarah goes, if you're going to do it, you have to end them. And he goes, I'll fucking do it.

His head is on a stick. He just pulls out his lifeless body, a lifeless child body. In front of the Yemen coffee show. He goes, huh. All right, you win, Joe. You win. Okay, put it away. The rest of the podcast is just none of us looking at Joe.

I flew on a red eye, just me and the baby. No Sarah. I had two suitcases, two backpacks and a stroller. Red eye. He slept four hours. He's sobbing right now. He's sobbing right now. He's sobbing right now.

That's pretty funny. It's not true. He's literally sobbing. had to be like, I have to go do. Oh. He's a little late, but he's here. The kind of joke, you'd be mad if I made. Anyways.

Boom. Do I get mad that you guys make jokes about me not being funny? Every episode, nonstop, the entire fucking, for 15 years? Can I just say something? You're funny, dude. You're coming. And I, I, fucking martial arts instructor in that shirt with those classes. You're one of those guys that does MMA.

And I saw a thing. Two years. Like, if you want to, if you would. Guy has one school. You're trying to be escalate a situation. Yeah. Like, had a stand. Because you can't, you can't be like, you know, but you want to be prepared.

That's how you stand all the time. You want to be prepared, but you can't be like, you can't be like, you know. So what you do is you have to do the prayer, the prayer stance. You have to be like. Like Tim Robbins in high. So then if he, you try to try to get, try to hit me. Yeah. Can I try?

Can I try? Yeah. Oh, that does work. Lewis, why? When you're in a fighting position is. your pinky finger up. Because I'm an English gentleman. Queensberry rules.

Anyways, you left your son and he's not going to forgive you for? And tomorrow, I said the baby's because he's on West Coast time. He's all fucked up. Your kid knows about fucking jet lag. Yeah. He knows about jet lag. It's not something you know about it. Babies just sleep all day.

Bobby's not wrong. Bobby's not wrong. I'm not long. Bobby's not long. Bobby's not long. Bobby's not long. But he's not wrong. I'm wrong, but I'm long. He's not long on the pants. You don't have to know about jet lag, you fucking idiots. We were on West Coast 9 for 9 days.

No, he didn't land and go, oh, look, it's darker now. Oh, man. It's just, does it matter? Dad, da, are the markets closed? That's, that's the dumbest argument that ever made ever. The baby's not upset because he's jet lagged in his on West Coast line. Why would he upset? Lewis, let me tell you about the snacks I had on the flight bed.

I guarantee his kid was like this. Is Marty an old fucking Jewish grandpa? Hey, he slept four hours on an airplane. That's enough. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. If I slept four hours in an airplane, I'd come back as a new man.

I'd go like this. I'm going to fly more. Sleeping four hours on a flight? That's the whole flight from L.A. I would dance off the plane. Oh, my God. If I got four hours of sleeping, period. I get 20 minutes of kind of sleep.

that I go. Every on a flight, my neck hurts. I go, no, fuck me! Yeah. We're too paranoid out. I'm going to miss the meal. Damn, we didn't even go there. I literally have a mass that you put on your head that attaches to the seat so it keeps your head.

Oh, that thing? I saw that. Yeah, the great piece. Yeah. If there's been a commercial for a product, Bobby owns it. This is the best. It keeps your head like this. It has a pillow and your head doesn't do this.

I love that. And it goes over, but it has a Velcro thing. Give them a plug. One of the things you can put. wake me for food. That's great. That's the one. I've seen that.

I was saying, but he gets pulled over. The officer goes, I don't think you're allowed to be having that while you drive. Just in case I fall asleep. Sorry, Dave. It's just if the car rolls,

I want you to feed me even if I'm not with us. Here's a thing, too. I'll like you get a couple more. There's more. I know there's more. You can flip the eyes up, too. You flip them up and you can watch TV.

And then when you're done it. Can I say, pull it up on the screen? I don't know if you're seeing this. This product stinks. It does not. It's great. Because I'm sold on what line. You look like.

You look like a cannibal actor. You look like a legal actor. You do. You do. You do. Excuse me. Hi, miss. He's right.

He's right. He's right. He's right. No, you look. When you wear it, people look at you like you're a fucking maniac. Well, I don't know the brand. If you just look at Gracie sleep pillow. You know what it would look like if I was flying with it.

It would look like they were shipping my head to a museum. Yeah. It was like it was like an artifact. Oh, look at this. One of the yellow side? This one's, I have one that it's kind of good, my pillow, but it's not good. There is no good neck pillow. That's true.

I'm telling you right now, I've had every single one, the turtle, the one that you blow up. That's it right there. I've never in my life. You show it in action. Never in my life. Nobody can fuck. All right there is. Play the video.

It's so good. You do look like a day. The sleep hold. The sleep hold. And this, yeah, whatever the gracey is. Yeah, it's, what is his name? The California kid, young guy. Yeah, she's a Gracie too.

Cairo Gracie, she's fucking hot as hell. That's the guy right there. Wait, so these are like the actual Gracies? Yeah, those guys will kill you. The part that sucks is you have to hook it up to the back. Is that Cairo Gracie? Maybe it's not. It's funny if the mask choked you out.

Look, that thing stinks. I've had every single one of those. Watch this. Pillow in the back. Boom. And then it holds your head still. Oh, shit. It holds your head.

It holds your head still. It would just feel like that would suck. That's a part that sucks when you have to hook it up. Hoking it up because you look like a dickhead. That's the same like... Buddy, it's I've slept. It's parachute technology you need to understand in order to attach it to me. No, no, they have a little thing.

They have little diagrams on it so you know where to... Are you good at it now? I am a fucking pro at it. Like assembling. But when I first got it, I fucking look like a dickhead. Yeah. Yeah, but you do look like a dick. but I'm telling you, I've slept through flights.

What is her name? She's so fucking hot. Her name is Kara. You'll get your ass whooped. Oh my God, she's hot. You'll get your ass whooped. Yeah, there it is right there. Get that pillow.

That's the best travel pillow ever got. Best. What's the unhooking? As do she? No, click, boom, done. If I can do it with one hand. Click boom, done. Click boom, done.

You go like this. You go like this. One click, boom, boom, you're done. One flip. One click. One click, boom, done. Enough about the Yemenin coffee shop. Hello.

I've been doing Dennis Miller not going on rants. I don't want to go on a rant here, so I won't. I like it. It's fun. I like it. Elvis bombed. Wow. Bobby, kick save and a beauty. Thank you.

I know I've bailed some people out. I needed that. Where's the Bob Danner anyways? I don't know. Fucking 11 o'clock at night. You put the Dan and Bob Dana. Hey, how come no one's ever had? Where is it?

Where is it? Wow. Give it to me. Oh, it went like this. It went like this on me. It fucking nailed you. Matrix, girl. Did you guys see the numbers?

Did you guys see the numbers for the Shane Gillis? Who was right about having guests the whole time? Nice. Thank you. Smart. Was it big? $400,000. I didn't even look at it.

I didn't look at either. It told me when I got in here. I didn't look at a single comment or Reddit thread. That's the first thing they said about it. You guys are fucking wrong. You guys are fucking wrong. It's fine. It's fine.

It's good. It was my idea, by the way. The ultimate sacrifice. None of you would have done that. I would have done it every week. None of you would have done that. I'll go home right now. Shane will come in right now.

I'll go to that son of a bitch's house and get him over here right now. If Shane will do it every week, I'll leave. I just want 10% of what he makes. That's it. Oh my God. The internet just crashed when you said that. What's going on? People crashed.

They're trying to get in touch with Shane. Reddit just brought down the whole internet. There's been a failure in the same. system, sir. Can you guys hear things? I can't hear myself in this thing. Am I gay? Yeah, you're gay. It feels like... You're the gayest one of all of us. No, that's not true. That's 100%.

We've had this conversation. We've had this conversation. I'm not doing it. But I'm four. It was a tossout. I didn't know it was going to whip around. Paco brought this up to me, by the way. Paco said he... It's gay. Because we talked about this last week. You weren't here. Number one, the producers have brought topics in today. Oh, great.

No. No. Tuno. is that Thank you is that Paco he has an idea when we start to go through a topic that we go over too much

Yes What's the idea If you had to fuck one guy Who would it be? Side note You right now With that main tan How much money

Would cost us if you to suck a dick 100 bucks What's Pacco do? 80 bucks He's like really getting ready So So um There's papers in the middle

So So, oh, there's papers in the middle. What are we doing? We're turning into something here. So, yeah, basically there's any topic. Basically, there's, here's fucking weirdo, fucking Hawaii accent. What a dickhead. Basically, bra.

We got Roaring Michaels back there. So, any topics that we go- How did that not hit? How did that not hit? What did you say? That hit in the wrong way. Roaring Michaels. Roaring-Mich.

Why? L and R, he's Asian. You switched to L and R, and he's like producer. Yeah, I mean, you didn't do in the Chinese voice that you're so good at. We didn't get it. Warren Michaels. His voice is so. He's not even,

he's like, he's like, he's Hawaiian. He's like Polynesian. He's Samoan. He's like a rock. But it's not like, All right,

what's your thing? Whatever, he's Asian. What's your thing? Have you ever heard Marhi Marhi? Can I take it off? See, you did point guard him because that was funny. Yeah.

All right, what's the stupid idea, Paco? So the dumb idea that I have is we go over quite a few topics consistently. And I think it's time that we banish them.

So we should, we should write them down and either burn them or have or do them to you? No, Paco. You have to eat them. In my culture, that was a thing that when we got rid of deities, we would write them on a paper and then eat them.

Oh. Deities. Paco could say a lot of crazy shit about his culture. Deities, not deities. No, for you, is diabetes. That was good, because I was going to do a Datees, rapies, date rapes, It wasn't clicking, and then you came in hot with the diabetes, but I still managed to slip mine in just in case you guys were like, hey, that would have been good.

Just imagine what's going to happen when he takes this ghost energy. Somebody told me this weekend, oh, my chick, my chick, I know, ghost energy is the one. Try that. Celsius is a hot. Oh! My sister's tits! That's what I think about your topics.

So, no, this is a hot chicks energy drink. No, try it, though. I've had it. You haven't had this one. You haven't had this one. You haven't had this one. Tricola. Try it.

Energy drink. It's so good. Now I don't want to just, you know, throw on a topic we've already had before, but... You say it's fine or you don't like it? Where are the cooks? There he goes. Dude! What's up with this side?

You're catching all your guys and shit. Gallagher show? I like that. I like that. Splash zone, dude. Go rid of the splash zone. That is sour. This is great.

I'll take a sip of this. Sour Petchkin flavor. I can smell it from here. Taste that one. Tell me how much you like that one. Dan, try that one. Hold on. That's like the back here at the tongue.

Really fucking. Yeah, we're in hurts right here. Yeah. It hits right here. No, that smells off pudding. What is this? Try that. Just try it.

Tell me if you like it. No, stop pudding. It's. That one's good, right? Thanks. Yeah, I mean, that's better than that, but. You think that's better than that? That's sour.

You like Sarah Patch kids? Yeah, and popcorn. Can you get more fucking? Can you not half do it, Paco, and get another paper towel? Damn, you're a diva. So there it is. Paco don't have to it. Haku it.

Haka. Haka. Can I have that? Kaka. You know what? We assessed it. Haka, we're going to have to give you the bombadana.

Bambadana. I thought, Bambadana. Bambababababab. Bambabababab. No, when we say a topic that sucks like... Oh, just hit me.

Hako just hit me. Hako just hit me. Damn. You said it. You said a night. Yeah, but what if it's a running gag? Yeah, why are we listening? Are you talking about Bobby's wife?

You talk about, like, Donna, you're talking about your stupid girlfriend. Talk about your stupid girlfriend. She runs the gig. I got my fucking cock. Hey. So you go like this. New dumb fucking love of your life. You never met her.

You never met her? I know. I've seen your Instagram. We know you're in love. I go, the wind. I'm a bird. I'm going to push. I'm going to lift her up.

And then I'm in love. You put your gay music. That was one of the gayest things I've ever seen. It was her. She posted it. Oh, it? You reposted it? Oh, I follow her?

I didn't even know that. No, no, I repost it to my close friends. Oh, that's even gayer. And you're green? My green close friends. Is that for everybody? I'm being smart with this relationship. We're going to hide her.

We're not going to fucking... Hider, you fucking benched her in a video. To my close friends. But I retweeted it. I didn't see this video. You bench pressed her? I didn't either. Like that movie with Nicholas Cage.

They were in the gym together and he was bench pressing her. He did a lot of... He actually, he did like 10 times. This is a ape. He's strong. She's 280 pounds. That's great. That's so funny.

You ever seen my 1,000 pound life? You want to impress me? Bench press Dawn. Yeah. That's so much more mean than anything I've ever said. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was terrible.

I'm going to have Paco delete that from the podcast. No, no, no, no. That's terrible. That's brutal. That was terrible. I can't let him. I was driving up. Paco.

Hey, you know what? Just for Bobby's sake? Why don't we take that out? I don't know. I just shot out of my mom. That was the meanest thing anyone's ever said about their own wife. I was terrible. I shouldn't have done that.

Don, I love you so much. It's fine. But you should start walking. But baby, take walks with me. Skankfest, Doc. We talked about it too much. Yeah, but it's this, can I say something? Can you, what is the fuck?

I'm fucking dying over here. Fuck you. I'm boiling hot. I'm fucking dying here. I'm wearing a long sleep shirt. But they're hiding the AC from us. Reservoir dog. Woo.

I'm fucking dying here. Now, but can I make an argument? Yeah, go ahead. If Skankfest Doc is going in the fire layer, Should fucking body brain go in there? Should punch up go in there? I'm promoting a product here. He's got a point.

Can I say something? Can I say something? Can I say this? He's got a point. Let me say something. Let me say something. Let me just say something. He's got a point.

Rock paper says to me, too. Just one. Just one. Ready? Ready? Rock type of. Shoot. Fuck.

Fuck. Yeah, you got to say something. I've never won that game. What? By the way, I have a game that, We should play. This is that I made up with my girl. And it's such a game that when you play with your girl is cute and adorable, it's really

cringy to play with your friends. But it also, I think, would be hilarious to play with you guys. I'm not back on board. Who can take as many fucking Eskimo kisses as the other one? No. Who can come in the other one's mouth? That's a game. Come here, babe.

I'm not for it. No, dude. It's called rock paper tickle. You do. I jokingly was going to say tickle on some gay shit, not knowing you actually were going to do it. So you're a rock paper signal. And then if you lose, the other person gets to tickle you for five seconds uninterrupted. You are so in new love.

It sucks. Let's see rock paper tickle on. Are you tickle? Uh, yeah. You're answered that. All right, I'll see you rock paper tingle. It's the gayest thing I've ever done. A lot of gay shit.

Yeah. And he sucked your fake dick. Shoot. Fuck! Yeah. Get on them. Get them, dude. Get your arm's up.

Get your fucking arms up. I hate it. Get your arms down. Right. Put your fucking arms up. You got a gun in the butt. You've got a gun in the butt. I said, you got a gun in the butt.

Oh, pause. Reset. I have sweat. You made a gun in the butt. I hate it. I mean. I'm so take on his shirt. So take on his

Everybody knows his weakness now. If Lewis ever is going to beat you up, just tickle it. Jay's got a very similar thing. Put that on. Put that on. Dance, duck counted. I got the stopwatch going right here. We're at five seconds now.

Go. Go. All right. You got one more second. Is it 15 seconds? No. It's five. but he kept stopping.

One more full Mississippi. One Mississippi. Oh, that's great. I'm so sweaty. Oh, you really are sweaty. He's wearing a long-sleevee shirt. It's fucking August. Rock pepper, tickle of rules.

That game's going to spread the wildfire. Abraham Lincoln. What? What's the point you're going to make? I said that he had, he had, he, I didn't have the point. My point was his point. That if you can't talk about his product, how are we going to talk about other products?

Hold on. Let me say this. He can. If he was saying, hey, guys, get the Sankfest documentary is coming out soon. But to, like, be like, oh, it's fucking great,

but they're not saying anything about it. It's terrible podcasts. So you can mention body brain, but you can't say it's good. Well, I can do an ad read for it. Why couldn't I? All right. I'll do an ad read for Skankfest.

Okay. By the way, 100%. Yeah. It's not a topic of conversation. If I was trying to have conversations about Tungat Ali every week with you guys, you'd be like, all right, we're kind of over.

I would love that. I would love that. Does he work at the Yemen Coffee Shop? Pretty good. You know what? It was clever. Ali, Muslim, Yemen.

Tonkat. Islam. Tongat. Yeah, men. Men. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Wow.

I don't think your son knows what jet lag is. This is really stupid. He doesn't know what jet lag is. He feels that it's fucking seven o'clock at night, but it's 10 o'clock. How long are you out there for?

Why would he cry? Why is he crying about that? I understand that he's not. sleeping. He's all fucked up. Have you ever had fucking sleep fucking shit? Deprivation? Yeah. And then I'm leaving. I'm on sleep, I'm on five podcasts and I haven't slept

in two days. My house is underwater. My backyard. What is in my backyard? I love that. Every time your houses are nightmares and it takes four hours. My house has never been a nightmare. Yes, it is. What? Your fucking electricity went out or whatever. Yeah, you'd a mad. A show. A tree hit my house. This is my phone. Yeah. It's 100%. Why? Because of the storm. A tree. Did I get my phone to you guys? Your phone's

behind the coffee right there. Yeah, it took out my AC unit and took out Max's lacrosse net that we got them. Oh, that's not real. And then it took the gutter. It came very close to hitting the... It took out your whole HVAC unit? No, it took out the AC's my backyard right now. Aha!

No, it's not. I love that. Not right now. No, it's not. It's slide right into the pool. That's light out. What, or an hour ago, two hours ago, whatever it was. It's 11.

Before we did, Skanks, this was my yard. Three hours ago. What's your basement going to be? Your dog's very cute. What the fuck's your basement going to do? Can I say, can't... Indoor swimming pool? Isn't that the rattlesnake dojo?

Oh my God. All of my equipment's been disassembled. Did you notice what I noticed? What? The, uh, coming out of the other yard? It's this other guy's yard. He's fucking draining his yard into your yard. Dude, no, that's not a maybe.

That's a fucking... Well, here's the, I don't... Yes, Bobby, I see what you're saying. But like, the amount of water that's pulled up in the middle because of the torrential downpour, that's not... That's not... Look at that. That's coming from his yard.

And that happened to me at my last house. Killed the lady. The Jewish center behind my house. Oh. The way they did their parking. And he's hiling. Oh, double hile. Double hile kiss?

And he's at the Yemen coffee shop. The way they did the parking lot, their parking lot. Oh, Nazi smooch. Their parking lot in the back of my house all drained into like a funnel into my yard. And I asked that I. And Bob made a funnel cake. Right. Can't teach that.

I'm not going to help that one. It was fucking stupid. It was a juvenile. All went in my backyard. I had to put all that shit in. And they wouldn't do anything about it. And that, my friend, is coming from neighbor's backyard and you see the rocks

coming down? That's, uh... Chris Rock, Tony Rock. They're all coming down. I bet your neighbor has no water in their backyard because it's going to do. I don't want to talk about it anymore. You brought it up. You brought it up.

I hate it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I'm having the basement, waterproofed. Wednesday? Yeah? Great. What do you mean waterproof?

Perfect timing. You're going to make it in a pool? No, they're doing the French train, which we talked about. Oh. Okay, we can't talk about that anymore. No, we can't. French train. But I was right about the French train.

Remember when they said, if you can get the topic on the paper with the pen and get it in there, we can't talk about it no matter what. So that just means the new French train, no more French train. No more French train. What are you doing? No more. Hold on. No more Dan's tour dates.

That's not cool. That's not cool. I'm apologized. You love it. It's like liquid candy. It's like. No, it's really good. Whatever chemical that is, it tastes like sour patchy. Nicon.

I didn't have anything to say. I just started saying, uh, uh, we're brain dead. It's 11 something at night. We've dolled on shows. We're doing good. So you're mad because you got a red eye here.

I'm not mad. Well, you're bitching. You're complaining. Oh, Joe. What? Isn't moving. Yeah. For a year.

One year. Can we write that down? One year. We don't talk about it again? I'm not saying for a year. A year in four months. We should write everything we talk about down. But next October, we're out.

Where are you going? Where are you going? Awesome. Yeah. Why next October? We're signing one more at least because my son is, in school and my nephew's going to college. He's graduating school next year.

He's graduating. Your son. Graduating what? It's a joke. It's a joke. A joke. Hey. I'm a fan for one year. Come back, one year. Because I figured there's no way this is lasting more than one year. We said that the first year. I didn't think we were going to get to episode 15. How long were doing this? How long is this revival that makes us no money

been back? This revival that is costing money every we really thought we were gonna be uh but we would if we had yes no i i never thought look four people a podcast twice a month is never going to make any money we're doing for the love of the game god damn right or if we went to a better network there are people that will pay please sexually make it do you do you think my priority is this being on gas digital twice a month get me more money yes the answer is yes great go get the network bring it in please bring it in Get the network.

Get the network. I'm the one who had the balls to bring it up to him. We've all been talking to me. It's behind your back. Go get the money. Done. I did. Seth Simon bought the podcast.

Nice. Don't say his name. What are you? I got to say two more times. Show up like Beal Juice. Seth Simon. Seth Simon. I'm right here.

Oh, I just shit my pants. Oh. Nope. It's him. I did. He comes out. That Dr. Pepper shirt does rule. I'll get you on for Christmas.

Yeah? I'm going to bring us up as evidence of your. You don't. Motherfucking get you one tomorrow. Cool. I'll give you this one. Right off your back. New.

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I forget that hotel horse shit coffee. Yuck. I bust out my body brain. I make ice coffee in the morning. I make hot coffee. All as you need is the little packet, and they have creams now. Creamers that come in a little packet, too. It's so convenient.

It tastes great, but it also does amazing things. Makes you feel great. Makes you feel great. Got the shiwonga? Can I tell you the problem in a lot of these functional coffees? First of all, they taste terrible. They taste like mud in a cup. They're bad.

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It'll make your fucking dude. If you look at a lot of, if you look at the natural, like, dick pills that are like at gas stations, it's always Tongan Ali, by the way. Like a rhino? I don't know if it's a rhino, but like the, you know the honey ones you'll see now at all the gas stations? Yeah, so good. And then it's also about Lionsman, which has been linked to brain function memory. Lionsman is so good for you. It's great for you.

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Like my mom. You gotta go on a safar. Like your mom. No, you don't need to do that. One cup of coffee a day. Have it in the morning. Hot, cold, putting your protein shake, however you like it.

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There he is. com slash regs. Dan. Dan's collars are so big. Yeah. Oh yeah. Pick collar, Dan. Write that down.

Thank you. Right that. Yes. I've been waiting to never talk about this again. Danny, what's your topic? My topic is to have the four of you go on your health app on your phone. and see you as the least number of steps.

Ooh. Can I have my phone, Danny? Can I have my phone? Not bad. Today? Does it show my steps even if I don't have it set up? Yes. Yes, 100%.

I did it by the day. The week. 15,586 steps, 6.1 miles. And I would do average over the week. Well. Wait, I'm going to lose it. It feels a little unfair. I was on the road.

How do I do it? Health. I hit health. Actually, about 14,000 now. Don't share my data. Share my data. Don't share my data. 6.3 miles.

Should, while you guys are looking at this up. How do you get that health? While you're looking this up, should we have Danny present an example of his? Oh, dude, mine's not even set up. Steps? If it's not set up, it's fine. It still keeps track. It says steps.

I have 7,800333 steps today. Joe, how many? 14,000. But I also walked on the treadmill for a fucking hour. That's crazy. I took, wait, what are we looking for? It's a little heart. So far this year, you're taking fewer steps a day than you did last year.

Because you moved. On average, your steps. this month are getting fewer than last month. Where the fuck is that? Oh, she's up swimming around my house now. That's why. Over the last seven days, they're not doing my swimming tracking. Oh, over the last seven days, your distance walked has average 2.9 miles a day.

I've done 3.3 miles a day. Look at us. How many steps is that? I've walked 3.3 miles a day. That's pretty good. Where does it say miles? Danny, killer. Killer topic.

Yeah. Fucking unbelievable. Can you write down, never go into the health app again? No, just write down Never take a topic from Danny again This topic I box for an hour and a half Lewis is taking it too sincerely

Yeah Well I mean 5,118 steps is crazy The raw data From If I don't have my phone Is that tracking my boxing My wife's been fighting You should see her box

That's why your son Was crying when you left Because the jokes like that When your son cries Is it killed? No, it's a lot. No, it's just a little, like, wimpery, because he doesn't want to be asleep. He thinks she should be awake.

Have you been rolling an hour already? Who, who fucking... What time is it? Who's with the kid right now? No, we've been a half hour. We started at 1030. Who's the kid? Who's the kid?

My niece. You have a niece? Of course I have a niece. I have two nieces. I've never met his niece. He's got a niece. He's got a nephew. They're adults now.

They're grown-ups. They're grown-man. How old is your niece? They live with me? Yeah, I have a... How old is your niece? She's 21. Nice.

Really? No. You're in love, dude. You can't fuck around. Yeah, he's in love right now. What does that mean? Wow, that means you're a new love. What is that mean?

It's got to go over a year. You'll be done by... You don't respect something until it's over a year. Yeah. Absolutely. I don't respect anything with you unless it's six months. Yeah. I don't even respect Dan's non-marriage.

That's true. That is crazy. You're not married. What fuck. Whatever, dude. Get married already, dude. We're swingers. Yeah, you fucking.

Hi, you seriously? No. Dude. Fuck! No. Bobby, did you decide if you're coming to Jamaica yet? No. Bobby's not going to Jamaica, man.

Don't want to girl to eat his avocados. I'll write that down. No more. You can get Jamaican voice on here? No more dead. No more Dan voices. Oh, yeah. All right.

Well, we might as just quit. Well, we're to power this down. If you don't work HUD, then you might as well quit. Too legit. Too legit. What are Dawn said? Hey, hey! What did Don say?

She has to see if she can get Max out. I'll say it like she said it, though. Well, I'll find out. I got to find out of Max, I can get Max out of school for that week because. Like James King. You find out. Let me say it.

Because he has. Whatever that is, that excuse is crazy. I also live in, I live in this world. What? Do you? I live in this world.

You live in Lewis World, which is not our world. Lewis World would be a great amusement park. Better than Nate Land. Oh, dude. It'd be like that HBO documentary about all those people that got hurt. Be careful, which.

politicians you have to take photographs of course yeah no lewis world will be fucking incredible dude it's all fucking r fk goes it's the scariest it's all it's all gravitrons that's all it's a whole with the governors taking off those things go fast uh so don said she i mean she can take him out of school we can't take her kids out of school whenever we want no you can yeah you can i know you can't get james into truancy court let's go he's learning more it's a cultural experience vacationing traveling it's true it's one of the best things that the world kids could do as long as long as doesn't fall behind he's good james won't uh won't well max is a bad student is max my is a good is max a good he's good he he hates school he fucking hates it but i i hated

it yeah we all liked it james like school no well he doesn't like it anymore he's starting to get an age now where he's a little bit like you like it up until like sixth grade yeah he's going to the what the fuck is he's not he fucking loves wrestling loves football Love the Cross, loves all that shit. Stays after school, fucking until 8 o'clock. Loves recess. Loves lunchtime. Love the bitches.

Yeah. School sucks. Yeah, school sucks. But there are kids who like school. School works sucks, but school itself is pretty fun. You've got an audience all day. No, I didn't love school. I mean, I did a lot of cutting class.

A lot of going to play hacky sack in the courtyard. What? A lot of hacky sack in the courtyard. You gave up your education for hacky sacky sack. For hacky sack. Well, that was, you know, drugs. Well, you can't learn, you can't learn the streets. You can't learn hacky sack in the classroom.

Actually, you can. Yeah. Shack 101. I was in the basement classes with a way pension of a snake. Excuse me? There's six of us in the basement. I was in the rubber. I was there too.

Yeah. You guys both have alternative high school energy. I wasn't, I was an after school program. Yeah. They kicked me out of school. I sort of going to do after school at 2.20 p.m. I would come in. They would let everyone out at like 2.30. What, you're the graveyard shift for learning?

What coveralls? His teacher was the janitor. Yeah, you're like a porter in a restaurant? What you want to do with the mop? No, it was every grade, it was ninth to the twelfth grade, and it was all in one classroom, and they gave us workbooks. They were like, here's your ninth grade workbook. Yep.

It was just math. Yep. I had paragraph. And then it was like, yeah. Like science. I had a paragraph with A, B, or C. No wonder you guys hated school. You guys were at night school.

No, then I finished my, I did this for a year. I finished my work. workbook in like a week or two like the entire for the year. I finished it was like retort it was I want to say like fifth grade like level work I had I had a Jewish broad finish mine this Jewish broad really smart who I was

banging real legmae I gave her all my work I said yeah do all that she did it I just passed it in when I was supposed to pass it in and Zingo right so you just forged your entire this is you were doing the same thing he was 7th in 8th grade yeah but the Hughes was in yours was high school

mine was the second half of 9th grade into the first half of 10th grade. In ninth grade. When did they let you out? This is like the Alman Brothers. You guys are throwing solos back and forth. Just go one story at a time. I try to chime in, you know.

No, I like it. It's taking us to different parts. It's like, sco-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-dil-l-d-dil-d-d-dil-dil. Who gets the story? One, two, three. Rocking Pampers, shoot. Yes. Oh.

No. No. We didn't do tickle. We didn't do tickle. It wasn't tickle. Oh. No. If I get the tickle, if I get the tickle, you're going to have the story.

No, no, no, take the story. When somebody almost sickles you, it's the most like, it sucks. It's like what someone almost blows you, you know? I don't know, Bobby, you spit. I spit at how unfunny that was. That was not a laughing. I just folded it like it was a flag and you died.

You didn't give it to Sarah? I folded it into a day. Hey, Marty. Hey, Marty, I know you're already weeping. 100% to the Joe's family. Bamp, pa, pa. Hey. Bambam, bum, pa.

Hey, Bobby did a spit take, and he still has fluid in his eyebrow. Funny, I spit. Two, it's a purposefully bad joke. You can't just give the bomb dana when the joke is it's not a great joke. Yeah, no, no, no, no. If you say a joke and no one laughs, he laughed. Purposely bad is meant to be funny. I laughed.

And he laughed. I laughed at their, you know, it's funny. I laughed at their, How funny. Right. That's part of it. He left at the silence. I left at the silence.

The sound of silence. That's like saying, oh, the ball went up the middle. It hit the umpire. I mean, if Joe's able to just give this bomb dana back, I mean, is there any integrity on the show anymore? Okay, I'll take the bomb dana for the one that Bobby spit laughing and is still fucking water in his eyebrows. We stop with the fucking eyebrows. I got it out. You don't have to be mean.

I'm not being mean. Yeah, you are. There you are. I'll take it. I'll take it. Even though it was a big laugh. Oh, you're such a bitch. Just take it.

You're bomb. I'm not a bitch. It didn't bomb. You all-o-el. I didn't all-l. I laughed at the fucking silence. I left at them. I left at them going.

See? It was a bank shot, bro. They made me laugh. Bank shot's hilarious. You know what? I could use another latte. I could use my fucking cookies. You're fucking dirty, fuck.

It's not open. Yes, it is. The whole business over there is we stay open. Late night cookies. Oh, the insomniac place? Yeah, it's called insomniac. All right, relax. That's what your kid has.

That was good. It was actually good. He can't fucking sleep. Do me a favor. Hey, Jew or Asian. Wow. Do kids feel jet lag when they fly from the way? Child insomnia sounds like a Maryland.

signs of jet lagging babies. They're gay. Wow, weird. Yes, babies experience jet lag. It's like saying a baby doesn't know about homicide, so they can't be murdered, you fucking jackals. Follow that one. However, you're like, he's never heard of jet lag. He can't be jet lag. It's like saying he's never heard of constipation.

He can't be constipated. Whatever. Circadian rhythm. Can you write down Joe's baby? This little fucking business baby? Jesus Christ. He goes, I would go to sleep. I flew cross country.

Yeah, so I'd go into school at 2.30. Or 220 or so. Did you have regular friends that were in the... Did you have friends that were in the regular part? She'd go to the dentist at 2.30. Oh. Tooth herty? Uh-huh.

That's great. That's good. 2.30. That's good. 230? 2-30. Yeah. Yes, sir.

Yeah. Tooth herty is going to stick with me. Tooth hurting? You never heard that? I love it. What is it? It was like when I heard... Tooth herty.

You know what I heard... Tooth. Tohurt. Is we can go to the dentist? To-th-thirty. That's the time your dentist appointment is. Tooth. Late night, Dan loves that.

We're coming right back. Dan, is your tongue split? Yeah. We've talked about this. I mean, put it on the fucking thing. I've never... Dan's weird tongue has been a topic of conversation. I've never talked about that.

You know what's funny? Over the years... He's got a penis tongue. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. We've talked about it. Through the years, we've done the entirety of Dan's head.

I've done his... The size of his mouth. His dolphin mouth. The roof of his mouth is crazy. My flat nose. His flat nose. Yeah. Flat nose.

Giant head. His tongue. I mean, his head has been done. Oh, dude. Imagine Joe's mouth on Dan's head. That would be one. Easily drawable, by the way. By the way, we did this as well.

We did the body parts of everybody. Lewis. We did do this. Yeah, but I wouldn't be able to fuel enough. I wouldn't be able to get enough food in. Your tongue would be perfect for his mouth. Give me fuel. Give me fire.

Give me that what I desire. Cool. We should all go see Metallica. They're playing at Foxwoods. 220. Or we go to Vegas, the sphere. Tell the thing about your thing. We all go to see Metallica at the sphere.

Let's do that. 2.30 are you going to high school? Danny, book it. 220, I go in. I walk in. I mean, book it, like, leave. All my friends are leaving high school at 2.30. Damn, that sucks.

I come in. They give us a workbook. I finished my work in like two weeks. Did you try to, with your friends that were leaving? Did you try to do the thing where you were like, I got to hang out all day. Fuck you, Pussies. And they're like,

no, I was devastated. I started becoming friends with, like, all, like, these, like, uh, nerdy drama society kids. And I wanted to join the drama signing. I couldn't because I was in the bad kid school. Because you were in the night world.

Sorry, Lewis. You can't make it. I was living in the upside down. Louis, sorry, you can't join. Hello, Dolly. You're in the down world.

You're with the other. We've got guns and guns and they're all drug dealers. That's what it was. Everyone was like. Danny Zuko. I was the only kid that I was the first kid to get out of PM school. They told me when I went in, they said nobody's ever graduated from the PM school program. I was like, oh, thanks.

Why were you in it? Really just like, what was the last thing was threatening my teacher's life, which did go? Didn't happen. This was in my book, guys. It's also the plot of stand by me, but keep going. Because then this blonde teacher came to my school. Lewis just took River Phoenix's story from standing by me. He's like, my older brother was a gang leader.

I would you just ask. So you threaten your teacher's life, but it didn't happen? No, I didn't. It didn't happen. He said I threatened his life. He was a liar. What really happened? I swear to God.

What really happened. He's dead now. He's dead. Maybe, probably. He died of his pants being on fire. That's really not. That was a gamble. I don't know if it's this time of night.

I'm going to take the bomb dana because it's something that I need to hold. Oh, can I tell you right now that really fucking hit me in the ribs. Guys, I'm going to sleep. Guys, stick around. Live is here. Why did you, what did you do to them? You did something. The cranberries.

You did something. Something happened. You did something. I did barely anything. Oh, the plot thickens. Yeah. It's not like you just fucking were like, excuse me, I really found the math homework to. So, no, I was at the end of class.

The end class? The end of class. You took end classes? Okay. I'm telling you what I was the end of class. I was talking to somebody. It's like a kid in class. And then the teacher was like,

Lewis, you're yapping, you're talking or whatever. He's like, go to the timeout. There was a timeout room in the school. It was a closet that was like full of like textbooks. And if you were a bad kid and they wanted to get you out of the class, you had to go, It was also the same room for in school suspension. Oh, I would have been in that motherfucker a lot. I was in school suspension all the time.

This is like... It was a room with like four desks and then like... Did you ever hide comics in between the books that were in there? So when you go back, you get something to read. No, even at that age, I knew that was gay. I think it's really smart. It reminds me your other story at U.S.A. You'd hide alcohol under the bleachers.

Yeah, I did that at University of Colorado when I was visiting my friend. They played the University of Nebraska. in the night before the game, we taped booze in the stadium under the seats. And then we were like the first in line. It was a really big football game, Colorado and Nebraska. And when we got to our seats, there was booze under the seats. So we just went like, like that.

Because we got in the row. It was fucking great. Put it in a glove. Ooh, in a glove. Yeah, it was great. And then Colorado beat Nebraska. So you, so the teacher's like, go to timeout. I love you just taping booze like the godfather.

Got him in the back of him. They got the toilet with the box and the chain. And when you're done with the thing, just drop the bottle. Don't look at me of the eyes. I did. So, he's like, go to timeout. And I was like, all right, cool, because there was two minutes left in class. Sure.

I couldn't even get to the timeout room. All I got was an early release from the class and by next class. Because it means nothing. They just want you out of the classroom. That's all timeout was, right? So it was like, go to timeout, the two minutes left. I was like, all right, cool. I left.

The next day I come in and they call me to Prince of the president. The principal's office, and the teachers, they said, the teacher said that I said to him, you'll live to regret this. Like an old-timey villain. You're not that dramatic. You do want to be a part of the drama society. That does sound like something he'd say. Well, sir, do you, I say? And he took a call out, slapped him in the face.

I would have shuffled off this moral quarry. Yeah. So then it was my word versus his. I was like, you know, like there's witnesses. Yeah. They didn't give a show they kicked me out. And so then they put you in the night. PM school.

And then they fired the teacher like two weeks after they kicked me out because they found he was like on pills and not grading people's tests. And like I had two 85s for the first two quarters that year in science. I didn't, it was the first period of class. I was there half the time. I never showed up, never did a test, never did any homework. There's new science. No, I didn't know anything.

He just wasn't grading the work. So he was a psycho. Damn, my freshman year in high school, my math teacher fucked a senior. and then our TA, like our assistant teacher that was from the University of Northern Colorado just had to be our math teacher. Damn. For the rest of the semester.

It was crazy. He was like, I'm going to be your student teacher. And then two weeks later, he's like, well, so it turns out, I'm your teacher. And then we found out that the teacher we had went to a Jimmy Buffett concert. Was she hot? Yeah.

The girl? Yeah, she was hot. It's always a hot chick. I could have never, dude. Hot senior. I could have not been a high school teacher in the 90s. I would have. Children.

Jesus. I'm not going to like that. Could we put down children? Yeah, write that down. Children. But when you graduated from PM school, what did you do? You showed them you could read and they go, well, they were like, if you pass everything for a year,

I was like, we'll let you out of PM school. And I had 100 average. I was on the principal's list in my school. And then they had to let me out. They tried not to. because you did such a good job on your workbook? No, they were the principal that told me he would let me out like you quit or something

and then it was just me. He didn't write it down. He was like, if you do a good job, watch out. Then I was like, no, Mr. Hand told me I can get out. Mr. Hand? That's real? Yeah. What?

It's like one of the most famous movie characters of all time. Who's Mr. Hand? Best times at Ridgemont High. That'd be funny if this is all made up this whole story. It came out two years before stand by me. I go, you ordered a pizza. to the classroom. Okay.

Yeah, dude. And then there was this gopher, and I was trying to kill him. He was on the golf course. You had a teacher named Mr. Hand. Yeah. Well,

principal. I never saw a fast time. This is all 80s movies. Never saw fast times. It was my mind. Oh, you should. It's unbelievable. One of the best jerk-off scenes of all time.

I mean, Phoebe Gates coming out of the water. Oh, God. Yeah. It's like a masterpiece. Yeah, Phoebe Kate's coming out of the water. It was great.

Champs amazing. Still, still all right. Fishburn. You still all right. She married to Kevin Klein. Yeah, she's still all right. Arns Fishburn. Who's the other guy?

Forrest Whitaker, my bad. I confused my blacks. What are you going to say? Say it quick. I don't want to linger on that. Let him sit in that. We really did let him sit in that. So you only had to do it half a year.

You didn't. No, they were a full year. One full year. Damn, dude. The alternative high school where I lived was just a whole other school. No. They just.

We were, we, we, they had us in the basement. Jesus. The basement, it was one class, and you went there all day. We had recess after regular recess. They would just give us one kickball. And it was like five of us. This is in elementary school or middle school? This was eighth grade.

By the way, you only need one kickball. It's true. Ten on ten. Well, with regular kids. You need one kickball. And then when I went back to school. I was like, there was 18 of us. We only had one baseball.

After I went, I went to jail. I went to jail one more time and then went to foster home and then went back to school. In ninth grade, they put me in the rubber rooms in high school and Malded High. But I only went to school until 10.30. Sorry. They put me in a banana foster home. That's very funny. They put me in the rubber rooms.

I don't get it. Banana fosters? I would go to work. The dessert. They would let me go to work in ninth grade. Where's you work? I worked at a styrofoam factory. And I made, you know the stuff they filled the boxes with?

We're doing it, bro. I swear to God I worked at a starphone factory I made Christmas balls Somebody yell out of sense Is this a mad limb? You know the balls? You know the Christmas ornaments?

Yeah You know the... Never come up before? Well, you would make a half a ball And then you take a half And then there was Mexican ladies They would glue the balls together Yeah, so I would, but I had a retard

Retarded guy for my boss Damn You're your superior was mentally retarded? My superiors meant to retarded. You go, Bobby, you know you're only making half balls. And I would do that. Mr. Goldberg was my boss, an old Jewish guy. It was a fact, like an old warehouse factory.

And I would make styrofoam. We'd grind styrofoam to put in boxes for shipping. And then we would make styrofoam balls half and a half. And then we'd give them to the Mexican ladies and they would glue them together for Christmas wardens. That was my job for in ninth grade. And then to graduate 10th grade, Mr. You were a child working at a styrofoam factory? Yeah.

And then to graduate to 10th grade to get into regular classes, my teacher, Mr. Lyons. The story's pissing me off. My teacher, Mr. Lyons, he... You're Mr. Lion. He said, he came to me and he said, he made up credits. He goes, when you were in Juvie Hall,

did you take any classes? I was like, yeah, we had our class. he goes, good, art. And he goes, what about any work, work? Like English? I go, they would, every once a week, we'd, like, answer something about a book. He goes, great. This guy's a hero.

He made credits up for me to get me into 10th grade. As he's writing it down, he goes, does everything go out at the Stirofo. That's a special person. Oh, he was the best. Mr. Lyme. Starophone factors, just like, you're really showing your age is like an old-timey job.

You're doing a chimney sweep? I'll tell you what I used to do. I used to go down there, and I'd work at the Gunpowder, You know, he's a manufacturer asbestos. Yeah. Yeah, dude, it was good for us. I worked at the DNT, dude. Dude, we made sheet rock.

It was fucking from four in the morning until 9 o'clock at night. Dude, it was fine. I was a cigarette tester. I was a child cigarette tester. No filter, dude. I made enough money to buy a moped. Jesus Christ.

I bought a moped, a motorbican moped This improv game rules. I wanted it. I swear this happened. I wanted to take it. Certain words. I wanted to take it. Mopet,

that's three points. I wanted to buy a boat. I wanted to get a mopet. And then I had a pineapple helmet. Pineapple. That's five. You use alliteration. It's double points.

I wanted to get a moped to take me to my A meeting. I had a maroon moped. Oh. It was red. I swear to God Because he's crushing it It was the one with the pedals And I got it to go to my A meetings

And I took it to my meeting The first time And it died On the way to the meeting And I left it at the gas station And then The next I'm ready to do a squirrel

The next day I went back The next day I went back to get it There's a squishy squirrel Next day I went back to get it And apparently it fell over And evil Knievel had fixed it And they cracked It cracked my block

It cracked the block And I didn't have enough money to fix it So I had to push it home Like walk it back to my house And I believe this story But it does sound like if we just said Bobby you have to make it a story Go

It sounds like a story you're making up To stall me While something happens Around me This really happens Dan gets a cake in the face Dan's knife has gone off the table I go

I go do this They're taking all the artwork behind me So I walked You walked the thing home? I walked it home And I was so upset And it fell down And it fell down

Lewis and Joe Were behind me Take it off Oh fuck I was so upset I went home I wanted to kill myself Jesus

Oh wow And I was I was so upset I put the Bureau in front of my door And I was sitting Hanging out the window Oh you told the story

And story worse I was so upset And then my mother came in And she's like like, Bobby, are you okay? And I was like, I was crying because I worked so hot at the Starved Factory. I was a year or something sober.

I was just trying to get. You already had lung cancer. Wait, he just said he put his time into the styrofoam factory. He was sober. He's also like 11. He had black lung. Yeah. He's also like still believed in Santa. Yeah, and my mom came in and she goes, Bobby.

I go, hey, I'm on. I won't fucking end it. And she goes, okay, Bobby, but if you jump out the window, we're only on the second floor. not going to die, you're just going to get hurt. That's very funny. Just want to let you know. And she's left. And I looked out and I was like, yeah, right. Yeah, fuck, that's a broken ankle. Yeah. Yeah.

Second floor. But I worked my way out of the rubber rooms into mainstream classes. Oh, you broke into the mainstream? And then I got kicked out a week left to school. I got kicked out. I got suspended, almost expelled. Well, if you got kicked out, that was expelled. Well, my foster dad came in. At that point, I left

a house house. And I moved in with a foster file. And he came in and saved me. He was like, listen, this kid's worked his ass off to get to here where he is. You can't just do this. He's worked too hard. And the teacher, Mr. D, DePersio, he was like, all right, I'm just going to suspend him for the last. He can graduate with this class, but I'm suspended him for the lie. He can't come to school.

Because I was in class and there was a kid I knew, wasn't friends, but knew him. He was behind me and he kept going, so fag. I laughed. I was like, ha. And he goes, fag. And I was like, all right, dude. He kept doing it. I go, dude, knock it off.

He's like, fag. And I was like, dude, seriously, man, fucking knocking off. He just go, bag it. And he kept doing it and doing it. And I go, dude, if you don't fucking stop, I swear to go, I'm going to fucking kill you.

He went, okay, dude. And then he went, fagg. And I picked my desk up. Remember the desk that, like the chair on the desk were together? Oh, yeah. I picked that up and threw it at his head.

Damn. And the teacher, Mrs. Black, my math teacher, he went, Mr. Kelly. And I went, and fuck you two, bitch. And I walked out of the class right. I remember I walked out of the class right. I remember I walked out all this, everybody heard it, so all the classes were looking out their room.

And I went to Mr. DePersia. I go, you're going to want to see me? Because he was like, Bobby, what's going on? Because I was, I was pretty good. And he goes, I go, you're going to want to see me. Oh, somehow the story was cooler. No. Hey, keep that seat warm.

I'm going to be in there in a minute. You're about to hear some. Whoa. What are we doing? What are we doing? You're about to hear some stuff about me. Guys, what are we doing? I don't know, but when we come back, Tripping Daisy, we'll be right back.

What is? It's like when Conan would have silly Why is he dressed? I go that's Lou Al Paco Are we doing costumes now? Is that where we're at? That's a nice looking cook. Where's my fucking latte?

What am I a fucking asshole? Where's my latte? What's a latte with you? You know how bad I want to punch that cookie right now? You get so much... That's your body? You get so much chocolate. I thought it was going to be better.

Damn. Body shaming. I just thought it would be body shaming over here. What? That guy has. had to travel, walk around all day with a Hawaiian skirt and a lane for that. More importantly, we talk about the funniest human being of all time. The guy who called you until you threw a desk at him.

Yeah. What's he doing? Not working in a styrofoam factory. He goes, yeah, he works at a styrofoam factory. He did have great time because I went and knock it off. He goes, okay. And he went. Yeah.

And it just echoed through my head. They call me that down at the styrofoam plant. Dude, so I walked out. And then next thing you know, there's a ski slope right. outside. Oh, whoa. Shut up. I go, is this a dream you had?

Can I say something? In ninth grade in Mr. Lyons class, there was two Asian girls, a blonde chick from California, kind of a ditty chick with big tits, and a project chick who looked like Big Bert. And Mr. Lyons took us all skiing.

Really? Yeah, they took us skiing because it was, you know, a shit class. So he took us skiing, and we all went to Mount, I think, centipi, is that one of the best? Sure, I never speed. Yeah.

And we all went. You have skiing energy. Yes, he does. Yeah, you do. Everyone here, I would assume that you would be the one guy that not only has skied, but enjoy skiing. Yeah, you also does the one that where he does like back bowls. It's kind of like a, uh, how are the back bowls?

Skeying is great. Why don't we do a fucking ski trip? I do this winter. We can go a fucking show at a ski lodge. And I say something? We could go to my tiny house. Stay at my house because I, we're skiing. But then we're going to need four more tiny houses.

Yeah. No, well, fucking we can all. stay there. There's enough room for all. I got a loft up here, loft up there. We got the couch down there. Why don't we ski to Vegas and go see Metallica at the sphere? I'm not going to fucking see Metallica at the sphere.

By the way, his energy was like mad that he was planning a slumber party in his woodhouse and his little bird house. Doggy. No, let's just be a bunch of middle-aged men skiing down a fucking mountain. Me for the first time. Dude, I went last year for the first time in 30 years. It was so fun, dude.

I went with James, dude. James, he was He goes, he's like, Dad, I'm ready for the Blue Hill. I was like, we can go on the Blue Hill. Blue Hills. Blue goes green, blue. Green is the easy one. Blue is medium, black is a hard one. So that's what his mom tells me.

And, uh, boom. So he goes out. She has been riding the moguls. He starts going down the Blue Hill and he gets down like a little bit. Because you have to go side to side, right? You're not going straight down the hill. Like, imagine this is the hill. Go that way.

Then that way is how you can fix the thing. It's called the falling leaf. Sure. So. I mean, I don't know why you get. fucking man. I'm just trying to help your story. A dick. That's what's called. Yeah, it was a dick move? Yeah. Yeah, you're silence. I was in,

you had me with your ski science. Go ahead. Yeah. So, James made it to one side and then he stood there. This is just this best winter. And then he wouldn't come. And then I started going down and then I saw that he was up there. So I had to like stop myself and like fucking and then he was just frozen above me like maybe 200 feet like up the hill. So I can't get to him. Why was he frozen? Because he was terrified.

Because he couldn't let it go. And then he goes, Let it go. Do you do, do, do. You got the shining? Hot today, baby. And then he started freaking out. He's like,

then he started tearing up. And then he goes, it was like, it was like in Rocky fucking. Rocky three. He goes, yeah, he goes, he was like, Dad, I'm scared. Okay. I don't do it.

For the first time of my life, I'm afraid. He go, uh, where you go, well, James, I've paid a lot of money, so you better get your fucking ass down here.

And he goes, That's not what he says in Rocky. Paco, get me a tissue. Get your fucking little ass down here right now. Why do you fall to make me a try to spend $600 on a fucking mouth? If I wanted a daughter, I would have had one. You go, Jesus, Dad, I don't know. I think it's just a lot more motivational in Rocky.

That's a big cookie. Yeah, that is. That sucks because you're like genuinely see him scared and you're like, you don't want him to be scared. I was scared when I was Max. Max was snowboarding from the fucking blues. I was doing greens. And I was terrified.

Well, that's scary. Well, that's scary. Dude, you come off the thing. Brother. And then it just goes down. Where I come from? We ski all the time. We go up to the mountain and we ride it like people. No, it's scary. Can you get the bump, Dana, for a voice? I bail.

Voice bomb. First time I ever skied. That was, that was brutal. I thought it was great. I mean, he really dug deep. Like, I saw him. He went through the roll. neck of characters.

No, I was. You know what it was? I thought it was going to turn into something and it just never did. The first time I skied, I just pointed my skis straight. Can you do it in an African accent? The story?

I went down the mountain. Then I bailed. It hurt me very much. But yeah, I fucking ate shit the first time I did it. Yeah. Because you don't know your... It's all mental.

Yeah. If you think you can do it, you can do it. Also, when you start going, you go, I'm fucking going. You're going. Yeah. And it is...

My uncle who taught me... Bobby showed up for the pizza and French fries. Damn, that was pretty short. We'll fucking never do this at 10.30 again. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't like a bad joke. I felt like it would have been a little...

That wasn't. I'll take a quick commercial break. We'll be right back. All right, we're back. Bobby showed up for the pizza and French fries. Yeah, it still stinks. Yeah. Remember that laugh.

Let's just the plugs. We're an hour in. We are an hour this time. Let's get some plugs going. I'll go a three-hour show tonight. No. No, I got to wake up at seven. Three-hour tour.

The longest day ever to me. No, I have long. say tomorrow my house is fucking flooded come see me this weekend guys Lafayette Louisiana on Friday Lake Charles Louisiana on Saturday then I'm taking the month of August off taking the boy to Spain little father-son in Bartholola Street fucking Spain yeah when does this come out next week tonight no tomorrow and Wednesday yeah Fort Lauderdale Florida in September Portland Maine Belmore New York Rochester New York that was a weird fart why was that yours Vancouver

Portland, Oregon. All right, let me do my plugs. We love God. Portland, Oregon, Vancouver, and more. Go to my website, Lewis of Skanks. com.

Grab those tickets. Subscribe to my mailing list, bonus podcast on my mailing list. Check out all the other pods that I do, Legion of Skanks, Story Wars, real-ass podcast, buy my book,

Knives and Spoons. And get your Skank Fest. Oh, everyone here is going to be at Skank Fest. The 10th anniversary of Skangfest is happening November 13th through 15th in New Orleans. We're not coming back to New Orleans

after this. That is a fact. We already decided where we're going next year. This is going to be the final one in New Orleans. So make sure you guys be a part of history. Biggest lineup we've ever done. Shane Gillis, Eric Andre. You found another spot.

I'll tell you later. You are going to love what we do. Boston. You. Cruise. You. Food. It's in your tiny house, dude.

They brought the fest to me. They were in New Hampshire. Oh, that looks like me. be in Portland, Oregon. Oh, subscribe to gas digital. Helium Comedy Club, Portland, Oregon. And then the St. Louis Funnybones, the weekend after that. I haven't been plugging that enough. Nobody has bought tickets.

Nobody knows about it. St. Louis, Funnybone, August 20th, 21st, 22nd. And, of course, Comedy Mothership, September 4th, 5th, and 6th. And then Royal Oak, Michigan, September 10th, 11th, and 12th. And join my punch-up. Email. I never, what do you call that? Spam, no spam.

I just email you that I'm coming to your time. town. That's great. No more of this shit where they're like, hey dude, when you're coming to fucking the thing, and I'm like, I just did 20 shows. You know, it's great about punch up, too. When they go to your punch up, it brings the closest show to them. Oh, that's sick. I didn't know they did that. Yeah, right to the front. Punch up rules.

Soda. This Friday and Saturday, I'm going to be at the Albany, Funny Bone. I got Brendan Sagalo with me. We're going to have four shows. Then I will see you in Baltimore, the 13th through the 15th of August. I'm going to be at the port. I think those shows are closest. sold out Spokane Comedy Club.

Jeremy Spokane. I will be there August 20th through August 22nd. Listen to Soda to the podcast, Dan Soder.com for all my live dates. Thank you very much. September, I'm in Saratoga Springs at the Comedy Festival to have it up there. At the same time, you're in Albany?

That's this weekend. September. Never mind. And then I'm doing the Brooklyn Improv. I guess it's a brand new Improv. Yeah, it's nice. That's September. 26, one show.

Then I'm in Port Charlotte in October. And then I'm back to Boston at Laugh, Boston. Punchup. Live, oh, New Orleans. I'm going to be down there at Skankfest. So check that out. And make sure you check that out. And then go to punchup.

com slash Robert Kelly. You're on my mailing list automatically. I'll let you know when I'm coming. It's great. Check out YKWD and, of course, the Bonfire, Dan's old show. And you'll all be featured with Jay Okers. Yeah, check it out. I can't mention it.

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Topeka, what was your subject? We have Joe and Pacca, you all brought subjects in. Joe Russell. Yeah, so my topic was, which of the four of you could make the best paper airplane? Not me. I'm going to say Bobby. That's not a subject. Do you guys know what a podcast is?

Yeah, it's a task. This isn't a game show. But that thing said, I feel like Bobby, without question. He went to art school. 100%. He studies things. 100%. I don't know how to make a paper airplane.

You don't know how to make a paper airplane? You don't know how to make a paper airplane? He looks like the skis. Looks like he makes it paper airplanes. You don't know me. Joe's a white nerd. No, you think I'm a nerd. I don't do paper airplanes.

You do. I don't ski because I actually grew up poor. I don't just make up stories like you fucking idiot. Dude, I didn't ski until I was in fucking. I go in skiing with fucking... I think I made up a swimer growing up poor. Yeah, I think your whole book is horseshit. Look at your glasses, you nerd.

These are really good glasses. I don't even think you're Puerto Rican. These are Montblanc. Joe just going, yeah, you're full of shit. You grew up in, I knew where you grew up. I'm rags to riches. Rags to Ritches. Rags to riches?

That's good. Thanks. That's the name of the episode. Rags to riches? Rags to riches. Oh, our final episode, regs to riches. And we're all too rich for each other.

Oh. We'll leave. Sad much. Bobby, who should you give your seat to? Anybody. And your eyes while you're aware. I'm not here. You know, it's crazy?

When, like, Killem All came out. Those were like 19 years old. I know. They look very young. You see the young Lars Orwick photo when he's like 19. He looks like he's 12. I look so much like Cliff Burton. Or young.

It died. I heard everybody. I wish it. I hope it ends the same way. Except Cliff. What's the fuck. Oh, mo. Oh, blah.

Guys, I just nailed my Kirk Hammett impression. What is it? I heard everybody's screaming except for Cliff. That's funny. He's so gay sounding. Who is it? His friend died. I'm yours.

Yeah, dude, let's go to the sphere and see Metallica. I heard it sucks. Give me a fire. Give me that much. I heard the sphere sucks from Metallica. This is the topic. Yeah, because it's the topic. Who do we bring?

That's not Bob. My girlfriend wanted to go see No. out in the sphere. We're not bringing your girlfriend. I heard that sucked. It was headlining. I heard they didn't play well. No doubt. Yeah. No doubt. No doubt. It was great. Headline the sphere? Yeah. The music doesn't make sense. When you go to, like, I wanted to see the Wizard of Oz.

That seemed kind of cool. I wanted to, what? I'm sorry. Did I laugh out loud? Oh, yeah. I would lie in a little way. I apologize. No, that looks awesome, dude. The Wizard of Oz? At the sphere? I saw the movie at the Spheres. Like the space movie that they gave, what you left me? I'm sorry.

I shouldn't be doing this out loud. I should be calling you a f*** in my head. That's true. No, the movie was great. The movie's incredible. Was it of Oz? No, no, they did. No, they did like a sci-fi movie at the sphere

when it first came out. You guys agree about this? A sci-fi movie? You guys read about it? It was really just a way to show off, like, the graphics. They went all over the world. But it was in the shell of a sci-fi movie.

It was like, Gangfest Doc, at the sphere. Let's go. We should do a tour of movie theaters with the duck. I'll do that. Okay. What is the problem? What the fuck was that?

What is your issue? You really wanted him to be so gung-ho? What is your problem? It's hard to make money. Be a gung-ho. Why is it hard to make money? Those people don't go to the fucking cinema. They didn't know if they do, if they will for a good movie.

Yeah. They went, they went for The Averick. I love Maverick. The poker playing movie? No. Yeah, no Gibson. I love that movie, dude. Why don't people talk about that?

Nobody's talking Maverick. Jody Foster. James Gardner. James Gardner. James Gardner? Such a good movie, dude. Jody Foster's liking guys. I know.

She's played a hooker. What the fuck were we talking about? What about Jody Foster? What was the movie Jody Foster with Matthew McConey? We was a priest. They had to make him believe him being attracted to her. I don't know. I think she's attractive.

You think Jody Foster is attractive? She looks like you. That's why. You look like Jody Foster. You look like a more fat. I'm gonna Jody Foster. Damn. That's right up calling you the accused.

We're gonna rape you on a pinball machine. You're gonna love it. That's fucked up. Taxi driver, flight plan, panic room. Contact? Some of the greatest movies of all time. Nell? Oh, do samos.

Dude, that was a jerkable, dude. That was a scene that I felt bad jerking off to is when she showed her tits and Nell. It's a retorted fucking... Is it Liam Mason? I think so. And he's like, look at your retarded. Hey.

I can't believe you. have such nice kids for a retard. Do you remember that? She goes to like a bar and they're like, look at his retort. She's like, no! She lifts up her shirts and starts spinning in circles. Don't interrupt her. I'm getting a hard on.

Hold up the scene from now where she shows her tits. I think Jody Fonsonis is that something. She was kind of, she was hotly accused. She was actually hot the fuck, bro. I jerked off to that too. I jerked off to the rape. I jerked, I did. Literally, that's what I'm saying. It could have been Rosie O'Donnell.

It was not a bit. Huh? I did jerk off to the rape. I'm not having fun anymore. Can we write down? I jerked up to the in that one. I jerked up to the in kids. And he was getting AIDS in that scene.

Yeah, it's me. He was getting AIDS and I still was able to knock one out to it. Because you saw, what's her name's Bush? Yeah. Chloe Seven-Yea. Oh, yeah. I forgot that's who that was. Holy Seven-Yea.

I'm on her when she blew her. I know the guy in Brown Bunny. Of course. Ooh, I jerked off to that. I jerked off to that. Lewis, do you think you can make a better paper airplane than Bobby? What? I'm going back to the topic.

Fuck off. Stupid fucking... Yes. It was... It was Liam. Good topic. Can we see Nell's tits while we make paper airplanes

because we can't just make silent paper airplanes on the show that's a dumb fucking podcast? I think we might be able to fill in a couple jokes, you fucking numb scull. Arson crafts don't work. But this retarded girls... I'm sure we'll all be dead silent

the first time ever. Retarded tits rule. They can't find. I wish you could end the episode Retarded Tits. Oh, we can't? You know what dude? Who cares?

Who guys with the money? Yeah, as soon as we go to the network, the three of us have been discussing for the last couple months we're gonna be good. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's the scene. But I mean, obviously, we don't want stills, you fucking idiot. You fucking dumb-ass.

Oh, it's a movie. Oh, my God. I've never seen this. Look, they were like, he's getting her to mimic him. Why don't we have audio on this? Who cares about audio? We're jerking off. Look, then, yeah, he comes in.

He's like, what are you doing? I mean, me, I would have been one of those guys. Yeah, absolutely. I'll jerk off that. Hey, you go, You fucking pussy What is this? What was the other Jody Foster?

Was he able to jerk off to that? You were able to jerk off to that? To completion. To completion. You jerked off to that? To that. Yeah, being 10 or 11. By the way, I used to jerk off to the opening,

the scene where when Ace Ventura... Opium Anthony? No, when they save the dog in Ace Ventura and he returns it to the girl with a huge tit. Silly blow job? Yeah. I used to jerk off to Backdraft.

They fuck on the fire. Yeah. And it's just her breasts. smears by for a second, and I would pause. Yeah. Damn, dude. You'd get creative. It was crazy.

I used to jerk off to Lady Chatterley. Damn, and her lover? You remember those? Lady Chattel of her? Yeah, of course. That was like, you know, showtime had that. And it was weird. It was only shot with like some sort of like,

almost like smoky dreamlike filter on it. And it had the little light, the flute playing or whatever? I don't like that. It wasn't good. No, I needed, I needed, uh... I needed Cinemax. No, wait, wait, some good, some good, some good, Ginemax movies.

It was really huge to wait. Our generation, you would wait until like midnight, 11, 1, and then you'd wait until in the beginning they were to go, this movie contains nudity, sexual content. You're like, let me tell you right now. We were eaten if it was Red Shoe Diaries.

We were eaten if it was Dream On had a lot of tities. What was the vampire movie? Melissa Milano. The Lost Boys. Melissa Milano. It was a vampire. She was in Poison Ivy 2.

What was that called? It's a vampire movie where the Indian chick from that Eddie Murphy... Oh, imagine... Old a child? Imagine having to drink Indian blood. I'm sorry if this is not you want it. It tastes like paprika. Sorry if this is too spicy for your vampire teeth.

What the fuck are you? Oh, you taste like shit. Holy shit. The fuck that I just eat. Oh, yucky. I mean, I don't want to be racist, but holy shit. You know, I've listened. I understand.

I'm too pale. Oh. They've never been racist because idiots to a vampire. I must feast. What the fuck was that? The vapor. Oh, sleep. It's just the bad.

It's wiping his time. It is like I drank the sun. Of hell. Give me milk. Run the water. Quick. Run the road. Run, throw.

Run the water. Oh, fuck. That's good. It's a good bit. So we're just not going to get two pieces of paper for the paper airplane thing. Buddy, it's a visual bit. I'm folding my... It's a visual. Yeah, but we're mostly audio.

Paco, thank you very much, Paco. Poco came prepared. There it is. I'll tell you right now if this is a good paper or not. Did you change out of your Hawaiian outfit? He's always in it. Is it just underneath when he has to run and get cookies? Now, Dan, can you do a good paper airplane?

We're about to find out. I know this is this. While you... Yeah, what's Joe's topic while we're doing this? Okay, boys. This is it. You guys get $5 million. Question, how do you judge the paper airplane,

how it looks or how it flies? Got to be flies. I think it's a combination of both. But it should be more fly than that... I need another piece of paper. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's crazy. You can't get another piece of paper.

That's crazy, dude. Paco back the fuck up. Mine did okay. Joe, you stinks. I know a little bit about it. You go one of these. Oh, Bobby's doing a different design. Oh, what an asshole.

He's making... He went to art school. Oh, boy. Let Bobby have this. He was in a basement with a snake, dude. Wait, Joe, you didn't say your topic. All right, so you got $5 million to make a regs, movies.

Yeah, seriously. Joe's halfway there. He told me. $5 million to make a movie. To make a reg movie. Joe's simply told me he's 50% there. Go ahead. It's starring all four of you.

What is it about? You guys got to go around and pitch ideas. $5 million movie, the four of a star. I'll tell you what it is right now. It's a cross-country caper where someone has stolen the bomb dana, and we've got to get it back in regular regs fat. No, I got it. All right. So.

Dan Dan is in love with his best friend and he gets something called And I'm marrying her No Dan's in love with his best friend And then he goes to a crystal shop And gets a little A little thing to make a wish on

And he breaks it And she becomes obsessed with him But that actually happened to Bobby Sixth grade Tell that story Yes dude My friend Ron at the styrofoam factory He became infatuated with me

It was really my voodoo, dude. Not, dude. We used to get paid in monkey paws at the courtroom. We met a witch doctor. She was real. Dead. And then we ate noodles.

All right. So you are. Dude, Lewis, yours looks nice. Mine's crushing it right now. This is crazy. Yours looks nice. We're going to have to turn the AC off because that's going to throw everything off kilter. Off kiltony. the greatest airplane of your fucking lie are you prepared

are you guys ready for a good plane you have no idea how fucking firemind's about to fly Joe's airplane is retarded so we get a golden ticket on Kiltonny guess what retarded airplane you're coming back every week for a fucking genius retarded airplane here for a million he'll be done till next episode the next episode

hold up look at this thing look at you Bobby look at mine Lewis's looks sick Dan's looks better than I was expecting it to look Dan's I feel like

is gonna fly the best because I feel like these little these little spoilers FI C what are they called Finns C

no the spoilers Joe just put his on a suicide mission Mine didn't The chala Sala Is that yem and coffee Joe's pilot

was a D EI hire Bobby's refolding. Bobby, whatever's going on there, dude, is crazy. I like it. I mean, I like it. Bobby, sorry, we should have told you. Burning. I realize that Bobby just does it know how to make a paper airplane.

Bernie. Only does he not know how to make a better one. He's never tried this before. Lewis, being around burning styrofo. Bobby, I really went on an Olympiad. It shrinks her hippocampus. Don't maybe look like an asshole. Bobby.

He has to do it. Where Don calls us, she goes, you guys didn't let him full of plane. Did you do that? it's like a specific thing like in his brain he can't line up edges of paper he goes don I was there for three hours I just kept looking like the same piece of paper

Don she goes you know since you left the Starfoot factory you can't hold paper oh it's coming together it ended up being exactly Lewis's oh he's cheating he's doing my idea he's looking at it it also just looks like shit

It looks exactly like Lewis. Look at Bobbs and Joe's. Look at how gay they are. Mine is more. Yeah, I don't know. Bobby's looks like you might be able to fucking. All right, go ahead. Dan, you go first.

Well, I already went first. Paco, stand up and we're going to try to hit you. Sure, but could you not make Paco do stand up? That was good. Could you put the planes next to your face, though, just the side of it? Mine's already, like, dead. One by one? I don't have to do it one by one.

Just do it. Edit it one. All right, Joe, you're going to throw yours at Paco. Here we go. All right, for the folks listening at home, mine is going. Go in, go it, still going. Bobby, you do yours. Oh, it hit the wall.

Can I say we're all throwing from different distances, though, that it has to be considered. Yeah, but we can see how far it goes. Well, I mean, we're just saying, like, like, obviously, if Bobby hits Paco and I fall short of Paco, I'm further than Bobby is a pocket. Yeah, let's see you guys. We can all judge.

I just measure distance. Oh, wow. Wow, that was good. That hit the wall. That was beautiful. Back wall. But, I mean, it looked like shit. No, it didn't.

Whoa. He, I made him. Joe Russell's dead over there. It's in the eye. Whoa. Ah, that's it. You get one shot. You get one throw.

Louis is just ate shit. Louis's fins made it go up. Oh. It was good, but Bobby's was good. Mine looks. Mine looks the best. Bobby won. Bobby flew the best.

Let me try to throw Lewis's. that's very good no not bad louis I say we take a tie me and louis take a tie what about me mine fucking

we have a tie but one more rock pepper tickle wait my my flew into the wall yeah guys mine was good too dance was actually

better than lewis I'll do a three way tie three way tie yeah dance was better than lewis's we're playing rock paper but he has to be in rock paper pickle but he has to be in rock paper pickle

yeah I go with him first right right okay One, ready? One, two, three, shoot. Yes!

Whoa! Yes! Snap! Let me bring my bike. I'm going to giggle. Yeah, I want that mic up to your mouth. I want to hear you giggle. Okay, here we go.

Put them up, put them up. I got to stop watch. Put those wings up. Okay, ready? Put the wings up. Go, go. Go. Do it. Do you, dear.

Lock starts on first. No, no, put your arms up. Oh, he's falling. Dan just fell out of the chair. The chair's breaking. All right, there you go. Oh, I couldn't take it. Help Dan up.

Oh, boy. I'm up. They got me. Oh, you got me in a way that. Here we go. This is for the championship. This is for the championship. This is for the championship.

Ready? Rock paper says you shoot. Rock paper says you shoot. Fuck. Yeah. Clark stopped at first contact. Welcome to the state. Styrofoam factory.

You're going to turn to me. Turn to me. He's going to turn me into packing peanuts. When I'm done with the air, you're going to be packing peanuts. On your marks. Get set. Wave for me.

Bobby's really good at tickling. You got up in my shit, though, dude. Doggy, okay. Straight up in the air. I learned how to tickle at the styrofoam factory. Straight up in the end. No chicken wings. All the way up.

Dude, I'm telling you right now when you put your arms up, it's a nightmare. I have to desensitize mentally. Dude, I tried to get there and then the second you put hands on me it was over. Okay. I was melting. Joe, you take a wish? I just came in last. That's only

three seconds. Put that over! It's over. It's over. It's over. I'm going to ship my pants, dude. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's a great game. It's a great game, dude. We're not to do that again.

That's not going on a piece of paper. No, Rock Paper Tickle will... It's the best thing I've ever created. Also, if there's... If there really is some tension between two of the members of the cast, a game of Rock Paper Tickle will really... It evens it all out.

It really. I want to see you guys just one round. You and Joe. I'd rather not participate. My finger stink. Come on. I have my $5 million movie all right. Come on, dude.

That's the shit top. We're working with this. We're working with this for a parapeturemberton. You'll love. You and Dan. One, twice, three, shoot. Oh. Tickle a man.

Get Bobby your tickle. Get Bobby your tickle. You tickle. Oops, I lost the guy. Uh-oh. I lost. I don't like this. I don't like this.

Mike down, arms up. Okay, hold on, dude. Mike down. Oh, hold on. It's the worst. Bobby's so good at tickling, dude. Two seconds It's not even at five

That was still only like four seconds It shouldn't make me laugh at the bar That's a great one to end it on That was fun We should end it guys Wow Thank you so much for watching Metallica at the sphere we'll all be there

We're gonna got a quick commercial break when we come back, Hole is here. Whole rules. Yeah, they do. That fucking... All right. We'll see you guys next time on...

The reg. The reg.