Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Roger the Rabbit | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #65

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

CHAPTERS:00:00 - Friendship of Yelling 6:32 - Hot Tea Bags 9:08 - Glasses and Bobby Ross 18:27 - Who would win in a fight? Dan Soder or Joe List? 33:47 - Fat Girl Fights 36:09 - The Breve Beverage Incident 43:05 - Yoga with Joe’s Ex 52:46 - Joe selling 80 tickets at Belfast 55:30 - Luis and Bobby in love again 58:03 - Water Bottle Throwing 1:00:45 - The Crash 1:08:06 - Max’s Birthday Party 1:16:58 - Luis got a Gun License 1:20:39 - Bobby and his Gun Safe 1:29:23 - Comedic Castle Doctrine 1:34:45 - Aliens 1:38:37 - What Good Teeth Mean 1:46:00 - UFC 250 Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss the hot tea bag punishments, who would win in a fight between Dan Soder and Joe List, making fat girls fight at Skankfest, what is a breve latte, Bobby doing yoga with Joe’s ez, throwing water bottles, max’s birthday party, Luis’ gun license, Bobby’s gun safe, what teeth mean,  and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital.  LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/  https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/  SPONSORS  ChubbiesShop Chubbies’ biggest sale of the season for $45 and under on Swim Trunks, Shorts, and Pants. Plus up to 65% off clearance! Get 20% off with code regz at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/regz UltraNew customers get 15% off with code REGZ at http://takeultra.com ShopifySupport the show & sign up for your $1/month trial of Shopify. Head to https://www.shopify.com/regz BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ GLDNew customers get 40% off with code REGZ at http://GLD.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Fill her up. Be ready? What's up, everybody? We're back. It's the regs. We got Joe excited list.

Dan Soda. Lewis J. Gomez. Oh, Lass's boy and me, Robert Kelly. What's up, everybody? What's happening? The dude. I mean, his energy's off to fucking...

What? Why have to fucking know? Damn, you do a good Danny. Oh, I'm Danny. When did you start doing voices? Do more. Welcome to the... Welcome to the brother.

Oh, look at Danny's stomach. Oh, it stinks. It's crazy. There's no hair right below that line. Is it weird? I touched it. There's no hair. Look, he has sausage-linked body.

But look at this. Is this sexual harassment? I don't want to... I think so. But look at that. Danny, you're hot. He's hot all the time. Look at all the hair on him.

But, Danny, now you know to tuck in your undershirt. Are we good? Lessons. Oh, geez. Oh, now the one I wanted to sexually assault, Paco. Danny is also bringing the heat when you do something with Paco.

Yeah, you go, huh, you make noises. Yeah, Pocker. Danny, I go, ha, ha, look at this. Paco, I go. Danny's bringing the heat in the text thread. He texted Saw Scopo on the way to the studio. And I almost fell out of my chair.

Bobby's shots now. Hang out, we good? We're still recording, are we not? Yeah, we're recording. This is good. Just do a wide angle right now until he fixes the camera. You lost weight.

You look thin. Yeah, you don't need a right angle. Zoom in. Get in there. Get close. Lewis is tan. No, he's Puerto Rican. By the pool.

He's very tan, dude. By that pool. He's very exotic looking. Dude. It sucks. We've got to start over. No, we don't. Are we good?

Oh, my God. What's happening? Hey, Joe was bringing the coffee. That's like another word. Joe's not here. Joe's grandfather died. Joe's bringing the Joe? No, Joe is not here.

Joe. Grandfather? You're the grandfather? Had a father? He had a girlfriend? Grandfather's more important than a fucking podcast. Who has a grandparent? It's a great point.

What happened to love of the game? What is this? Those AirPods that spray? What are you? The Joker? What is it? James Bond? It's like cyanide.

He's going to kill everybody. Dude, I keep it under a fake tooth. Don't my AirPods are breath mint. The fuck. Who's that? Why is Hemorrhage here? It's a cool name. Hey, what's up, man?

How did you get help? How'd you get hemorrhage to help? He's in the, he's in the Legion of Skanks Springtron. Oh, yeah, I saw him get shocked. Oh, is that? Is that? He almost died. I watched one of the guys get shocked.

All right, stop shaking, dude. You're doing a good job. His eyes rolled into the back. It was that. Hold on, let me just say this. All right, buddy. Thanks, dude. Let me say this.

Okay. We're in the middle of a bit. It's too big. You can't fucking like it's like, it's like, it's like in the middle of American Idol. It's like in the one of the contestants, one of the top five, they're like, we're just going to also go on the voice now. rules. There's no topic. Who told hemorrhage to come in? There's nothing. Who the fuck is hemorrh. I don't know.

That's hemorrhage. You're going to be hemorrhagen. Who told hemorrhous to come in? You. Why? Why can't... This is, by the way. Why can't... I just want everyone to notice that Lewis had a very glasses on react. This isn't brevet. Oh my God. Do you know what brevet is?

Is this a medium? This isn't fucking brevet. Brevet. Brevet's done with cream, not milk. It's done with half and half. Yeah, cream, fuck face. Half and half and half is cream. And milk. It's a different thing. It's not a different thing.

Why do you argue about the dumbest shit? No, no. Because cream is a different thing than fucking half and a half. You dumb fucking fuck. You fat fucking four-eyed piece of shit. If you're going to talk like that, you got to take the glasses of all. You fucking piece of shit. You fucking fat.

You're a fat midget. You should do. You should do fucking light cream. Look at this. Shut up. Go fuck yourself. I'm like, dude, I worked out five days a week for the past year and a half. Okay, Bobby.

Hey, one one second. When I tell you secret shit in private, you don't fucking bring that on the podcast. Bobby looks fit as fuck. Buddy, you're a fucking piece of shit. What am I being a piece of shit for? Hang on. Fucking, because you're a- Because this why.

Science firm. You'll argue of a stupid shit. No, you're, you, hold on. You corrected me. I said cream. It's hot, but it's not cream. Look it up. Cream is a separate.

Hold on. Look it up right now. I order coffee. No. Take the glasses off. No, dumb ass. Hey, Bruce. If you go to order a Starbucks right now, cream.

When you go to a fucking dime. Can I speak? Can I finish? No, because you won't let me speak. I'll let you speak if you let me speak. I've ordered the same coffee for years. And sometimes I order it with cream instead of brevet. It's a separate order. And those days are glasses off days.

Let me say something. Dan, what do you even fucking argument? Let me talk. You fucking talk. You go to a fucking diner and they go, and they go, do you want cream with your coffee? Do they say, do you want half and half? But that's not what a brevet is. What do they bring you? What do they bring you?

You're arguing for no reason. I'm talking to you. Shut your face. They bring cream. They can cream. Joe? Yeah. Cream.

Cream is different than half and half. But do they say half and half? They say cream. They say cream. So who gives a fuck? That's why he argues over a dumb shit. It's a different thing. If you order from Starbucks, you're a different thing.

A latte with cream. It's different than ordering a lotte with half and a half. It's two separate item. Isn't half and half cream and half milk? But Bob was arguing for no reason with a passion. Yeah. You're arguing. I have passion.

You should have a clicker right now. You should not fucking try to squel. Take your passion. I have fucking bashing. And I'm never telling you anything in private again. You're telling me. By the way. Joe, you're the reason this energy is happening.

This is your, this is. I know, I brought it in. You brought this shit in here. Lewis wanted to come in and just talk about poetry and paintings. Let's talk about books. I just read one of my favorite books ever.

I was kidding. Oh, me too. I finally finished misery. It was fucking awesome. Yeah, misery is great books. I just started it a couple minutes ago. Yeah. My guy.

My guy comes in with the energy. I call it my guy. My guy. Dude, this film is coming together. What film? Can we not talk about it? It's a bad podcasting. You won't show me any of it.

You talk about this film that none of us can watch. Bobby saw. Why is it bad podcasting that we talk about? Listen to the professor. Is it every week? This guy, it's labels everything. It's because it's every week. He starts out with the same thing.

For three minutes. Every week he talks about this movie that we can't watch. We can't say anything about it. He just goes, whatever you want about it. A great movie. You can say whatever you want about. What are you talking about?

You're adding things in. You could say anything you want about it. Cool. I've never seen it. No one has. How's it? I've seen it. It's fantastic.

It's awesome. It literally gave me chills. You saw it? I saw it. A piece. It's fucking great. You're all over it. Like stick on a monkey.

The beginning of it is like, oh my God. I can't believe Joe actually pulled this off. I'm just very excited to cause. In the beginning, but we killed Joe Russell's grandfather. That's the opening to see. It's off of the pillow. These are for those silent videos you give us. Lewis is the number one

Labelor of this is bad This is bad pocket Yeah he's a negative person You know what it is He never says it when it's his idea He's negative You're not a bad idea Never had a bad idea

Yeah you have Those glasses are one He's talking about That mustache is two You're doing it for pussy It's clear when you're doing it for pussy I'm having bad eyesight for pussy No you don't have that

He got bad from eating pussy There you go It's called eye cancer Yeah Were you putting your eyes Into women's of a gun You're fucking pigst eyes Every six months

from eating asshole. Do you mind if I look down your hole? No, I found out my styes weren't from eating asshole. It wasn't from cocaine. It was overactive Demodex. I thought it was from overacting. The new guy left my tea bags in. Oh,

Hamridge. Oh, what a fuck. You've been. Paco, this is on you. Paco, you can't invite spring turns into other shows. It's like a thing we're doing. Paco's trying to fuck Emmeridge. Oh, look at you.

No, he did this as a kid. He had to do this. I deserve it. His grandmother made him do this as a child for you. years. It's time for tea hands. Paco, you forgot out to vacuum. Meet me on the back porch for

tea bag hands. Oh, Paco, you did not get a good grade. Oh, a bee and violin. Hold out your hands for hot tea bag time. Hot tea bag. Guys, I can't go to the movies. I got a hot tea bag time on my fucking porch.

You guys taking my voices? No, dude. No, I don't speak the actual language. You don't know how to you don't have a point card. Sometimes you just give the ball to Dan. I'm not out here doing macho man. Whoa, bro. You can try. Sometimes you give the ball to Dan.

Trade right. Just give it to him. I steal it. I go or grab it. What's your fucking problem today? What the fuck is that about? What is that? What are you talking about?

Yeah. What the fuck sentence is that? You fucking reekin? I think, yeah. What do you mean? What's my problem? What did I just do? What did I just do?

I don't know. There's a problem. What the fuck weird? A little bit of a problem. There's no, you have a fucking problem. I'm going to have a problem. What did I say? What you're, first of all, stop threatening people with fucking violence.

You're never going to hit anybody in this studio. Ever. It's never going to happen. You're never going to hit any of us ever. Did you see it's poshury? That's my bad knee. I don't want to hurt my knee. Also, I am noticing this.

I'm not going to say you won't punch somebody. You're never going to assault anybody, dickhead. Stop what you're threatening shit. You wouldn't even fight the guy in Austin. You're not going to fight me. Listen, what did I say that you said? I'll fight you before I fight some young black dude in Austin. What do you think you're tougher than the dude in Austin?

What did I say? You old fuck. You got to pick you up. You fucking gray-haired fucking goofy glasses. I got nothing. You're literally screaming yourself. I literally. You bald gray-haired goofy glasses.

Yeah, what do you got a fucking, wearing a fucking black top and blue jeans? You're slowly becoming me. Mint earbud case. You wear it a watch You got a fucking finger Got a Sunday max God damn it

I can't wait till this It takes a fact What is? Oh yeah What did I say that made you mad It's like scarecose? No what was it? I said something

I don't know where you were You got a problem Nothing What the fuck was the problem That is the problem Can I say something That is true No

No you fucking snapped out of nowhere I don't know I don't know What was it? What was it? What was it? You got a problem Yo, I'll solve it

Oh Joe the new guy Brought you some cookies to make up for his TV bags. Oh, man, he really didn't say that. Paco's fault, but it's your fault also. Your glasses make your eyes a little bit

bigger, so it is funny that you're like, and another thing, Bobby, I don't like the way. He's less intimidating through big glasses. That's why he's got to overhamp it. No, dude, I think glasses on a bald fucking dude, it's like, it's scarier. This is some fucking, like...

No, it looks like you found Christ. No. Not scarier. Not scarier. An inmate that found Christ? Yeah, when he comes out and he goes, actually, I do a lot of teaching. It's like, it's like a, it's like a,

Henry Rollins, like, scary fucking like, yeah, what's up, bro? This is why you can't hurt Lewis's feelings. Because it doesn't, he thinks everything works. Dude, bald guys with glasses are the scariest. Oh, we can't take a hit. Glasses are just... He diverts the hit. It's a good technique.

I can't take a hit. No, you divert. I can't take a hit. No, this is, this is... I can't... Now, this is when you can take your... Hey, Louis, I can't take a fucking hit. As a former...

I'm the guy who gets hit. Hold on, Louis. I take hits. not taking it right now. As a former glasses wearer, this is when you get to take your glasses off and rub the bridge of your nose when he says, here you go. I'm just teaching you glassware etiquette. When you take it off, you can go, I can't take a hit.

Yeah. You're a crash desk dummy. Yeah, dude. I take hits better than anybody else in the world. You didn't hear the second part. I'm like a fucking. You didn't hear the second part of it. I'm like a jobber in 80s wrestling.

I'm ready in the range of you are the Brooklyn brawler. I said, waiting for some fucking superstar coming pile drive me. You're going to catch four moves in a finish. I said you can't take a hit, you divert it. It's a good technique. Yeah. He diverts the technique. If you say this, he says that.

That's what I say. I agree with that. Yeah, exactly. Hey, I'm glad you did. Oh, man, you guys are going to have so much. Sometimes. Look at all three. You make good points.

By the way, Lewis is taking his glasses off properly. Two hands. One hand is going to snap your glasses. You're going to get all wacky. I mean, technically, yes, but cool-wise. One is good. They're going to be all bent, and then they're going to be crooked. It won't be cool.

Joe has all the nerd glasses. He's been here. He lives in it. He's had too many glasses with tape around the middle. Joe, we take your glasses. I'm just like a different guy. Look at a...

He's a... I don't like Joe with those. If his eyes were just be beating if you take him off and they were just fucking tiny. I hate it. I hate you with that glasses. Put them back on, dude. I can't look at you.

That's fucking crazy. You look like a regular guy from Boston. No, no, no, no, no. Put them back off. I love you. Put my mind. Let me see what you look like in these. It's crazy.

You look good, dude. No, it doesn't look like you're going to bomb a government building. Yeah, let me see that. You're right. You're like a bomb a comedy club. Try those on. Try those on. Let's see what those look like on you. Let me try those on.

Damn, Lewis, I'm actually looking through those glasses. They seem pretty. Well, there's a light. You look badass like that. Dude, those look sick. You look badass like that. You look like pit bull. Yeah, now you look fucking sick.

Andre, the pit bull, And to Uncle Andres you. Mr. Worldwide, dude. There you go. Look at that. I like it. Yeah, you do look. I hate it, actually.

How do I look in these? Those are classy glasses. You look calm. Classes. Why would you paste my glasses on the fucking lemon? It is weird looking at you without glasses. I don't like it. I feel uncomfortable.

I fucking hate it. It looks weird. His eyes. One eye's bigger than the other. It's called a stigma. Clear the cookie out of your mouth. Stigmatism. Put him back on, dude.

Come on. Come on. Come on. He's got to creep you out the whole thing. So really, your mouth are smaller than your eyes. I've never looked at your eyes before. You're doing Lewis math in your head? That doesn't add up.

I don't like this new guy. He fucked up my tea. Yeah. My coffee. Damn, Louis. I didn't know Joe List was the biggest diva out of the four of us. He is a tea diva. Teva.

Tiva. Teva. Yeah, this is weird. Like, when you draw, you're supposed to, there's like a certain thing when you draw somebody's face where the eyes go here and you can draw a line down and the mouth goes here. Yeah, Bob Ross, get to it. But Joe's face.

Bobby Ross is like, dude, I'm going to put a little herpes right here. Dude, these are some happy little trees, dude. These trees are sad, but now they got a fucking, they got another friend, dude. Bobby Ross is great. Got a little cabin, dude. Dude, just a peaceful little bird, dude. It's a bird, dude.

Better put glasses on it, dude. It's going to upset me. Do whatever you want, dude. I don't know, dude. Bobby Ross. How do we not? 15 years? We haven't hit Bobby Ross.

There's another t-shirt we're going to be selling that we're not going to know about. Yeah. I went to Gas Digital to do Ari's pod. He's got a green shirt. There's a green screen. And he goes, is there a shirt laying around? They just bust out the hottest red. Greg's merch, I've never seen.

I've never seen it. Never seen a dollar, never seen a receipt. This thing was pristine, beautiful shirt. It's one of the coolest fucking podcast t-shirts I've ever seen. Never heard about it. Didn't know it. And I mean this. I can't see you.

Put your glasses back on. We were all on the emails. Everyone was on the emails. You guys look at them or you don't look at them. You approve. You don't approve. Then you come to me like I'm fucking somehow siphoning money out of your fucking pockets. Projecting.

Projecting. Projecting. Projecting again. I said siphoning money. You want him to project, right? No, no, you were projecting. We don't want you to project. I never said one word that you were stealing the money.

So where's this coming from? Oh, oh. What is that? The lady protest too much. What are you doing? I was trying to take the mic out and I fucked shit up. Oh, God. I'm going back in, baby.

I like the mic being out. I didn't mean to imply that you were stealing our money. I don't know what this is all about. I just meant to say that at your business that you own. I haven't seen a dime, you said. At the business. What is the implication? implication there. The implication is I haven't got money.

I'm not saying it's you. I'm just saying at the business you own there's a stack of shirts. Harrington's stale the money for his baby. But you learn from the best. Harrington doesn't have a job and Lewis let him have regs a shirt. All the table has stolen my money. We're not supposed to

take all of the money from our friends and never give them any of it. As long as you deny it 20 years from now. I went to the Bobby School of podcast. You're learning, dude. It's lists turn in the next 10 years. And then 10 years after that soda might make a little money off the pod. I'm sorry about that.

Sorry to ruin the bit. It was a hot one. It was a good bit. It was a good bit. Bobby Ross, we're going to be painting something. I don't know. He really just like a guy that's here to fix your HVAC in Boston.

I don't like it. You think I could get more pussy? No. I get a lot of pussy as is. You get a different type of pussy. Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah, like a guy like you.

Pussy. Okay. Hey, where is it? It's great about, here's the weird thing about bad eyesight. Where's the bomb band? Where's the bomb, Dana? What the,

Fuck. Right by your feet. I was waiting for you. It ran to you. Even the bomb bandana ran for me. We think about bad ice and nobody, you can't tell you about it. You look older. You look older.

You look older without the glasses. You look like a regular guy, but your age. When you put the glasses on, you look a little more young, a little more fresh. You look like you've been crying. Yeah. You look like you've been having a rough day. There's a sadness. Yeah.

Yeah, you have sad eyes. Well, I wasn't. It was sad. Now the singing is creepier without the glasses. Fine. You know what I'm going to do? Put them back on. I'm going to put my glasses on. Thank you. I mean, what does Breve even mean to you? Why are you so hung up? It's just coffee with cream. Bobby is right.

Less sugar than regular. This is probably 2% milk, which will have the most amount of sugar. Oh, my. Are you okay? What's the deal with the glasses? What's going on? How can you never threaten Dan with violence? It's only me. Did you get a roll in a film? How can you never look at Dan going, I'm going to fuck you up? Because I'm checking in on my friend.

Soda will beat his ass. No way. Soda would beat your ass. Somebody asked me that in my Twitter or my Instagram poll today. I trained for years. They said, who wanted to fight Soter or Joe list? Did she see my response? I didn't see it.

Which is that? I trained. Trained what? For a long time. Joe, one headbutts going to send you back to Boston. Yeah, that's dance technique. I just get close. And then I'll fucking.

Joe will just have a. a cavern face. You're going to make him look like Mr. Moon from his gone. Your face would be in Joe's face. Who would win in a fight, Soter or a list? And I said, I think Soder takes him much bigger and has an anger inside of him that's scary. Well, look at this. Honestly, I would agree with that.

Look at his reach. Yeah, dude, what are you talking about? He doesn't know how to fight. He's like this. We're talking to reach. Look at that. You can't even get to me. Let's see your arms.

Get up. Yeah. I go. Oh. like Sasquatch. So does Hedges? Just breaks the neck. And then I go, what I do?

What are you going to? We got to hide the body. We got to hide the body. I hurt one of the only things I ever loved. It'd be like Frankenstein's monster. What's your, what kind of fight do we fight? Boxing, street fights. We're saying, we're in the wilderness.

Street fight. Ah! You're coming out of a tree? I'm coming out of a tree stone. Joe, you're a purple belt. Joe, you're not. at all. You're not even close to a purple belt. You ain't even mini-mal purple.

Right after white. No, you wear a purple belt. Great. You're a fucking... Hey, gay bridebuck. What's up? Those for you guys. You wear a purple, pink, blue, and green belt, you fucking, homo. After, after... Joe, listen, you're doing great. After white is gray. Gray.

Gray. That's for children. Yeah, that's kids. What is he? Bobby knows nothing about fighting. It's a blue belt. What is he? Is he a child? Homosexual. Does it go white, yellow? And Jiu-Jitsu? I don't know.

What form? It's a blue belt! I'm talking Capoeira. I'm talking the dance art. White, blue, purple, brown, black. Thank you. So you're a blue belt. That's right.

And the idea is, the reason they color it that way is because you weren't supposed to wash your belt. So the further it got along, it would look dirtier. So it would look blue after a while, then purple, then brown, then black. That was sort of like the mythia mythology behind. Thank you, Professor. Yeah. Thank you, Professor Jizzo. Maybe you've never been to Brazil

Brasio It's a Spanish accent They talk Portuguese Okay Bobby Damn I know a little bit about Just like Breve is different than fucking cream He wasn't speaking of Spanish

He was speaking English He's speaking his Spanish accent It was I think it was pretty close Brazil That's better Um Yeah so So neither of you have a belt

Neither of you know Jitsu I'm talking about just a straight up street fight What are you I'm a blue belt You're a blue belt. Yeah. Same level. Who would win in a fight between Joe and Lewis?

Joe? No, Lewis. Lewis would beat all of us if we all fought him at the same time. That's true. I think if all of us at the same time would be a problem for Lewis. Dan's head. I fight his ankles. If Bobby can squeeze him.

I can squeeze him. Why would I squeeze him? Because you're like your bear hug. You're trying to suck me. Bobby can't get close enough. Oh, he goes, Bobby dick. Come on. No, Bobby's got the rage.

If he can grab him, he can, like, crush him. I grab my, start kissing him. Here's how I know you guys are all, none of you know what's what. Rage, anger. These things hurt. That made me mad. Why did I hurt rage? He got anger.

I don't know, but it's hair. I'm saying, I'm using these words that you're using. By the way, Joe, you're about to make a good point. These hurt you in a fight. You want to be calm. Sure. These hurt you in a fight. It's a classic mistake.

People think, I'm so angry. The guy who is Zen is. winning the fight. Good dude. He's going to win that. That's who's winning the fight. Anger coming into the fight hurts you because you think, I'm going to kill him.

I mean, to a certain degree. I mean, you're talking about high level guys that are like fighting yes. But like guys in the street, I think a little rage kind of will help you. Kind of push over the edge times. Rage, no, I agree with him. If you're fighting somebody who can fight, yes.

But if you're fighting a regular guy on the street and you have rage, it can go over quick. Yeah, because adrenaline kicks in. You start to fuck you. You don't care. You're hurting yourself. Yeah, you just want to hurt him with yourself. Oh, that's good.

That's good. That's what this glass has taught you. I want to hurt me. What are you doing? What are you doing, Joe? He's calling an undefeated black belt cage fighter. Ari Sheffir? John Jones?

He's Spanish. Hi, Joe. Hi, Diego. You're on live on the regs. Dan Soder, Lewis J. Gomez, Bobby Kelly, Joe List. I have a question for you. Before you ask that question? Oh, Lewis has a question first before my question.

Yes. Ask him. Ask him. who he thinks would win in a fight, you or Dan Soder? No, I'm going to ask my question. No, no, no, no. All right.

Diego, you're my trainer, of course. If anyone asks him a blue belt. I'm claiming that. Who wins the fight? Dan Soder or Joe List? Joe. Thank you. Wow.

Dan, by the way, if you gave him $60 a session, he'd go, Dan. He goes to ask him. I sort of trained at all? Yes, extensively. Yeah. No. He was a football player, though.

That counts. He does do anything. Football players counts. Ask him who would want to fight between me and Dan So. He's on speakerphone. Who would win a fight between... You would. Why are you taking snapshots?

I didn't mean to. He just hung up on him, you're nervous. Are you there? Yeah, I can hear you. Who would have fight between me and Dan Soda? Diego's like, who is this? I don't know soda just because of age and reach. He would beat me.

So you're saying that Bobby Kelly is the biggest pussy on the road? Wait a minute. Diego. Diego. Diego. In other words, if you had to say somebody's the biggest pussy on the regs,

who would it be? Just based off of who can fight who? Who would be, who would lose to everybody? Me? Possible. I think soda might be, soda and list

are tied for biggest pussies in terms of they would be quickest to turn down the fight. Yeah, absolutely, true. But also known as the smartest,

by the way. Also is very important, yeah. Now, here's my actual question. You think I would lose a fight to soda? This is, um... Why right now, fuck face? I'm gonna fight you. Because you need to come to my six-week program.

Will you start training with me, and I'll get you in shape? I'm gonna hit you with a shovel next time I see you. Diego, here's the reason I call. I'm trying to educate these Nimrods. Is anger and rage an advantage or disadvantage in a fight? Can I, let me amend. Let me amend. We're not talking about Diego, Diego.

Hold on, wait, before you, before you answer, we're not talking about high-level guys who understand martial arts. We're talking about two bros on the street. I appreciate being called a bro. Two bros on the street. Does anger and rage help or hurt? Isn't that just two dudes that are untrained?

Two people that can't train, it'll probably help because it'll intimidate the other guy, even though it's a really bad fuel source. You're going to get tired really fast. You're going to over-commit. You're going to run into things. but if you're fighting someone who is also unskilled, it could help. Exactly.

So rage beats Dan Soda. No, I hold the rome. No, he's saying so has the rage, but we're also overlooked. I've also worked on it. So now it might not be there when I reach for it. I've done too much therapy and I might reach for it. Maybe you'll be fighting each other and we just, Alan would come into a, what are you doing? What are you doing?

You guys are expressing yourself. See, you got what are you chimping out? Yeah, he goes, oh, whoa. Jesus Christ. All right, we got to let you go. But plug, plug no violence. What question? Yeah, check out.

Follow this Diego Lopez on Instagram. I break down street fights. They're great. Those clips are great. It's my favorite thing on the internet. Diego, I expected you to break down my Austin incident. I really expected a Diego Lopez breakdown of the Austin incident. Reach out your friends, you asshole.

What? I don't know what happened in that fight. I'll call you later. It didn't even go to the cars. Send it to me. I'll break it down. All right. Thanks, Diego.

You're the best, man. We miss you. I would fight. I say I'll fight Dan at Skank Fest. No. Why? Because I don't want to do that. Because he's afraid of you.

How about I fight Dan and Joe? He was he wanted him. He's afraid. Fine. He's afraid. Good, good Rocky quote. For the first time in his life, he's afraid. Why do he get knocked down to get back up? Dan, fight him. Come on, Dan. It works.

Dung. Katie goes, what are you doing? I'm training to fight Bobby? Win. She goes, where? John would be like, why? Dude. Can you go, no, do.

Immediately he's going to go. In a week, I'm going to give up. Why don't you fight at Skangfest? You talk all this shit. Why don't you throw down at Skangfest for one in your life. Bobby and I are both admittedly old and gay. Old and gay and a little bit of both. A, I would love to fight. B.

I don't talk shit. You'd love to fight Beatrice? Whoa, I've been waiting to book this. I've had a poster made since 2014. You pull it out. Joe. Killer. I'm not talking shit. I'm responding to you saying everyone would beat the shit on me. I didn't talk shit. We should have gay fights. No shit talk. Gay fights. Just complain sessions. Yeah. If you lose, you have to do something gay. We should get Alan to...

How about that building, by the way? Lewis J. Lefkowitz. Is that crazy? That's a real building in New York City. Lewis's dead stare through the glasses is fun. Who should I fight? I'll fight Paco. I'll fuck him up. Paco will rock your shit. Paco would likely rock your shit.

Paco would rock your shit. Hemorrhage. Not out of this fucking... Hemorrhage. Just for fucking up my tea. Fuck you, hemorrhage, you fucking pussy with your dumb mustache. We call him hemorrhage because he looks. looks like the character, Hemorrhage from Rick and Morty when she went to, like, the post-apocalyptic world.

Yes. And she had the guy with the helmet on, he took it off. Fucking funny. He has that face. Can we pull that up? That is perfect. I don't watch cartoons. I'm not a fucking bit.

That's great. You don't like creativity. That's fine, Jeff. You don't watch it because you look like fucking Morty, you nerd. Do we? You sound like him. It looks like Steve from American Dad. Duh.

I got literally nothing. Nothing. He went dancing. Like at Hemorrhage. Oh, that's funny. That's so funny. You should fall? Yeah.

Dude, that's so great. I want you to take your helmet off. You know what? I'm going to go. Guys, it's summertime, which means shorts. Better than that, swim shorts. Check out Chubbies. Chubbies is the ultra-comfy, quick drying, and they help prevent chafing.

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Shopify.com slash Rex. There we go. This is awkward now because Dan just wants to fight me. It's weird. I don't know. What, Joe, would you do the Penaata fight? Where you're the Piaata. You ask you this every

year. We have to protect you. You ask me this every year. Why do you say no every year? Does the Pignata fight back? Yeah, Piazza fight's back. By the way, nobody's signing up with the Battle Royale after fucking Jamar. Yeah, Jammar got real. I'm signing up again.

Fuck that, dude. Oh. Oh, you got your best kick, too. Yeah, I got jumped by six fucking guys. My six employees been waiting for three years to do. This is our Christmas bonus. Paco would fuck your shit up, for sure.

What? Paco would fuck you up, dude. Get out of here. Did you see, he doesn't quit? He was in the whole thing last year. Filipino Rocky. Yeah. Cup going.

Paco, you're going to join the Royal Rumble this year? Probably. See? Yeah, that's... I'll be there. Nobody's afraid of Jamar. Jammar fucking. came any sucker punch fucking

Oh, calling the soccer punch. But now if Jamar gets in, we're going to jump Jamar. You've got to get him out quickly. Harrington challenged him. Is Harrington fighting Jamar? No, Harrington is fighting Uncle Laser. Okay. Seriously? Yeah. I don't.

Harrington versus Uncle Laser. That's a Saturday night main event. Me versus CJ Bishop is a Friday night main event. And then the Royal Rumble is the main event on Sunday. Plus, we're doing Aaron versus Josie. Aaron who? Aaron. Oh, from Skanks?

Yeah. That Skanks episode? You guys are going to do a match? Yeah. You really are just like... Two chubby girls enter. No food leaves. You're fucking single wide Don King, dude.

Winner gets a bag of potato chips. Don't call them knuckles sandwiches or they're going to get ate up. Munching on fists. Hiding out of the red corner. Aaron and Josie showed up because they heard there was going to be a two-piece and a biscuit. Oh, that'll be fun. That's like when I come back to like the best version of myself is when there's a chubby girl to make fun of on a podcast.

It brought me right back to fucking Kelly Fisuka days. Oh, I loved it. So fun. That's your muse. Yeah. Just a chubby girl on a podcast. I love a chubby girl on a podcast. Tell it right to her face.

You are chubby. You said she's fat. It was the meanest ever. Yeah. How those cookies there, Joe? You zone and out? thinking about violence. Yeah.

Yeah, zoned out. Where'd you go? It doesn't matter, man. What'd you do? What'd you go? Tell me God goes. To who?

Joe goes into, like, an alternative. He goes to, he's eating cookies. He's like, a big bites. I'm trying to eat them off air because they go, oh,

oh, the cookies. We should eat cookies before you come. It's a kid before. You got cookies like a child every week. You're an adult. It's fun.

Yeah, we all get coffee and you get cookies. I get coffee, too. I could use a fucking latte, the one that I wanted maybe? Yeah, I'll have one that's not fucking ruined, but he's so funny that he's just sitting there

staring at you in fear. God. Every employee. You really do have to, and now your interns look like children. But they laugh. He just looks like a point guard at Gonzaga. But he laughs.

Look at the way he's laughing. He's afraid. He's like, ha. Ha! ha. You're like an older guy now in glasses being like, I ain't you to do that. Can you go get Lewis another coffee,

but half and half? But ask them, when you say cream, do you mean half and half? Ask them that, actually. I really want you. you to ask them that and I want you to report exactly what they fucking say. I'll record it. We can't believe this. You record it. Record it. Be like, hey,

if I would order cream, would that be different than half and half? Ask them that. Please ask them if you were to order a different thing with a different word. If they would give you a different thing that exists on the menu. Ask them, hey. Go to a pizza, like, hey, can I have a slice of pepperoni pizza? But, like, I don't want pepperoni on it. I just want a regular plane. Actually, go downstairs to the cellar and go, hey, can I have some cream and bring it up? And tell, I want to see.

He comes up as mouth of the polls. Just say, just say, just say, Hey, hey, can we have some cream for upstairs? I go, here, here, here, here. Okay? Yeah, we have a coffee, we need some cream. Dumb fucking fuck! All right? Little creams.

It doesn't, that's not what it is, though. Yeah, if he says cream, he should bring up cream. If you go to Starbucks and order a fucking latte with cream, it's different than ordering a latte that's brevet. It is a different thing on the menu. I have. And Louis, can I ask you this? What? Is this great podcasting?

Yes. You got hit with your own mood, dude. You got lewd. Oh. Oh, shit. Why can he just admit that he's wrong? Why can't you admit you're wrong? I'm not, though.

Then I'm not either. Why do I have to fucking... You're wrong. Because he's a fucking Boston Irish. He's a Catholic fucking asshole. He's 65 years old. I have a pitch. What if we get a brevet latte?

Great. And then we get a black regular coffee from Starbucks. And we also put in cream in that. And we have Lewis see if he can tell the difference. Hold on. I want to say something. That's over to... Can I stop?

S. I am at the Starbucks app. I am ordering a coffee. It says, I'm going to read it to you. Tell me if I'm wrong. Please. Tell me. Please.

You can order either. A splash of 2% milk. That's not. I'll order a latte. Let me just go through the list. They don't, they don't say you could. Hold on, dude. Let me just finish.

You can't order brevet in your coffee. A brevet. A brevet with cream. Right. No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's with half and half. You dumb fuck.

Hang up. Let me read this. Don't go to coffee. Go to lattes. I'm going to. I'm going to. There is a barista somewhere right now. I'm so mad.

Dan, look at me. Ready? Splash of cream. It says splash of cream. Sure. Parentheses, half and half.

That's not what it is. That's what it says. The only cream. Go to the lotte's, you idiot. The only cream. Go to latte. It says heavy cream under it.

It says, yeah, you're right. It says heavy cream, cream half and half. Listen to me. Same thing. Listen to me. It says it right.

Go to the lattes. Sure. I'll go to the lattes. You fucking dumb fucking gangle. You're a piece of shit. Latee right here. The problem is. Okay, I'm at latte.

What do you want me to do? You guys are very similar. Hold on. Do not trust him with your phone. I will never touch. I would never. Cafe, cafe latte. Go down to the type of milk, obviously.

I'm going down to the milk. Obviously, the next thing is the type of milk. Brevee. Half and half. You fucking fat fuck. Yes, Brevee. You're wrong. Half.

I said half and half. No, we didn't. You said cream. You said, idiot. Right, which is half and half. Does not say, He's yelling and he's wrong. It's psychotic.

Find me cream in there. Find me cream. Heavy cream is right there. Heavy cream. That's not, that's a different thing. So you're saying heavy cream is heavy cream. Half and half is cream. It doesn't.

It means half and half and half. Ask him. Ask, hey. Can we call Starbark? What's his name? What's his name right now? Hemorrhage. Hemorrhage.

What's his name right now? I can't ask. What's his name? Hemorrhage. That's his name right now is so funny. What's his name right now? Go ahead. How do you?

How do you? Emridge did bring this up in the chat, you did not say brevet latte. Really? Oh. I'm looking. I'm on it. Really?

I'm on it. Let's see. I'll tell you right now. Lewis, here it is. Hemorrhage is so scared of Lewis. Medium hot latte, extra shot of espresso, and two pumps of sugar-free caramel. I didn't say brevet. Nope.

That is nothing to do with this argument. No, no. Damn. I'm so wrong. I can't be mad at Hemorrhage. I apologize you're being mad at you. You find the way. Piece of shit.

That's a bad apology. Fuck you. Bad apology. And I mean this, you're sabotaged. You'll never get on the skanks now, just so you know. That's nuts. Don't do that. No, it's over.

Don't do that. It's over. It's over. I'm asking. Can I tell you your order? I'm asking perplexity. Four shots of espresso over white in a venty cup of the small splash of half and half. Yeah.

Which is cream. You know what I'm saying? You're right. Exactly. Half and half. And they give me cream. Yeah. They use cream.

Yeah. There's no cream. Half and half and cream in the same. thing when you go to fucking starve. They call you half and half. There's half and a half. Anytime he's a guy. He's half as a regular man. He's halfway to death.

When you go get, I want some cream. They bring over half and half. It says it. All right. Can we move on? This is bad part. Because you're bad. I want you to apologize.

Small, do small the sign brevet, one pump of sugar-free caramel. And ask him if cream and half and half of the same thing. And like, certainly more cookies. Bobby? Huh? More cookies? I'm joking.

I'm a jokester. He's not a kid. He's not even joking. Can I have cake? Can I have cake, can't have cake, cookies? Guys, let's get into some real podcast. Topics? Topics?

Fucking crazy. We have me together at three weeks. No topics, not right. I know, I was all pumped. Now I'm like sad. Pump. Pump. Pump.

We always... Pump of sugar for caramel. Thank you. Thank you. Pump. Pump up the jams. I'm going to say this. We always thought the same way.

With his movie, then I say something. He threatens my life. And I tell him to go fuck himself because it doesn't scare me. And then you're like, ooh. Yeah. Oh, you know, it's exactly. I provide ambiance. It really tickled me last week when it fucking gave a situation for improv.

You said, Dan, you're a pilot. And then goes, brr-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Joe's like, Dan thinks the pilot needs a sound of him. Then I'm doing the airplane? Okay, all right. That tickled me. Yeah. Tell them about the yoga class.

Is that fun or what? Remember? What? We talked about that. Not in the air. Yeah, we did. Didn't we talk about it? No, I was in Europe when you did it.

Joe's friend? No. He didn't talk about it. That was in Europe. I could tell you about Europe, too. Joe hooked me up with hot yoga in Cleveland. And I went. That's why I looked so thin.

How did I do? Well, when I went in, there was nobody there. And his ex-girlfriend, I mean, she's hot. I mean, I walked in. I'm like, yeah. You got to have the wrong room, right? I was like, no, it's not you. I'm looking for Joe's ex-girlfriend.

She's like, oh. that's me. I'm like, were you an alcoholic? Why did he? Hey, well, she's smoking hot. Yeah. I mean, she's like a woman. Yeah. She's really hot. But Sarah's hot her. I get hot bitches. And the hot S one was just like a different. I haven't seen this girl, but now I have to sit here and just do be me. I was like, she's not hotter. Fuck her. You don't think Sarah's hot. Fuck Sarah. I think Sarah's hot, but I'm just saying I don't have the variables. I need to see this chick to make a decision of his daughter. Big words with those glasses. The inevitable conclusion to this.

Can I see this hot chick and I'll tell you who's hotter? Your wife? Your current wife? You're currently being an overweight homosexual. No, but I can hook you up with the class when you're in Cleveland. Oh, take the class. But when I showed up, she's like, it's a small class. It's going to be great. I was like, thank God.

I sat right in the middle, up in the front. And then in the last second, it filled with smoking hot chick. in yoga pants. Was there any guys there? I mean, one hot guy on the wall, shirtless. You have to go to the back then. You have to go to the very bad.

I was in the middle already. And I was everywhere I looked was just yoga pant vaginas. That's why yoga's so fucking great. And I was just trying not to have my shirt when I was in just come up in the. No, you have your Danny Braff stomach hanging out. Yeah. You have to wear a wrestling. Because if that shirt doesn't come up, you're going to fuck all of them.

Oh, my God. That's the only that would be the deal breaker. They go, who's that guy that looks like he's here to fix the pint. It's not yoga. It was a workout. I hear they call you half and half. Oh, this guy looks like he moves some of the equipment in here. They call me Splash a Cream.

This guy really knows the type of milk. This guy looks like he flies off the handle or a coffee argument. By the way, Bobby's coffee order, Bobby's name on Starbucks app is Splash of Cream, Bobby Splash of Cream. But Robert Splash a Cream. Three different times, he's like, I'll treat you to Starbucks and he can't anymore because I get green tea that's filled to the brim with Brevet cream. whatever the fuck is called. You got tea with cream. Yeah.

It was intense. Did you get through it? I got through it, but I only had to take one break, but it's with weights. You have to do weights and rubber band. It's more of a workout thing. It's not that much yoga. It's more like, what's the other thing, not yoga, but Pilates? Pilates.

It's more like polis. It was a lot of that shit. And I felt I was sweating like a fucking fatso. My whole mat was wet. So were those hot girls. Oh, dude. There was so, I mean, there was Yoga Pants are the best thing ever invented.

No, no, no, I'll tell you, they're not, and I'll tell you why. Dude, I can't agree. This guy can't agree on fucking shit. A contrarian. He doesn't have any. He really is just a contrarian. I've never once heard Lewis be like, great point. We'll do that.

Never. Yeah. Never. What's funny is, he will do it, but only after weeks of pets, and he spun it into his idea. Yeah, two weeks for a guy, he's going to go, yoga pants. Fucking awesome. Here's the thing. Now, these yoga pants,

they're designed to fucking tighten these bitches up. You want a fucking bitch, you want to see a bitch naked. That's the only way to really get. I'm not, they're the best thing invented for guys in my age. I'm never going to see any of those girls naked. We're not going to see them.

Exactly. There's like a video of the girl like wearing yoga pants. She's like, she's falling out. Yeah, I've seen the preview of the porn site where he rips it open in the... No, no, that's not what I'm... Yeah, so I can see that where he rips her big,

beautiful ass out and box it in the middle. I did watch yoga porn the night before. Of course you did. Busted out so I wasn't all for the hell. Oh, nice. Get the venom out. So you're not going in there. You did yoga with my ex-girlfriend and then watch yoga porn?

No, before. I watched it before. He was respectful. Then I had sex with your ex-girlfriend. I don't care. I would love to. God, she was hot. Can I see her, please?

I'm not going to show it to the camera, obviously. I just want to see this. She's no joke, though. I was running a marathon after the yoga class. Half marathon. Half marathon. I mean, whatever. Half and a half marathon.

It's a brevet marathon, dude. Just call it a cream marathon, dude. Just call it a fucking what it is, dude. Full marathons, heavy cream. You're calling a fucking cream marathon, dude. You call it heavy cream marathon, dude. I'm running the cream. Don't, I put a little heavy cream in your ass.

Oh. Can I see her, please? I said no. Why? He said no three times. It's not inappropriate. It is inappropriate. Because she's not that hot, and I'm going to be like, oh, she's whatever.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't want, I don't want, that's what's going on. I don't want the podcast topic to be this mother of two. Oh, she's disgusting. Mother. It's rude. This is what you do. Tell your children not to ruin your body.

Don't run out of baby. Three great. If you do, cold a matro belly. Who is that? Let me see. Let me see. No, I'm just kidding.

It was a naked chick. Who's this naked chick that you have in your phone? Dawn? I was Dawn. Dawn. Don. You're looking up like you're trying to tell. I got a great podcast topic.

Three great songs called Mother John Lennon, Pink Floyd Danzig. We all rank them. What? Maybe the worst topic that I've ever heard of my entire life. I've never heard of podcast homework before. Yeah, what were we at fucking morning zoo? Oh my God, that was a pop quiz.

Pop quiz hot shot. That sucked. This bit stinks. That's fun. Ranking the songs, Mother. That should be a good thing, a good bit. This bit stinks. This bit stinks.

Joe, you got to keep this bus over 50 miles an hour, you know. Fucking ass all. I blew my thumb up on another podcast, a bit. Piece of shit. Bit stinks. It's not a bit. Well, whatever it was. Topic.

It's an abomination. You don't know art. You don't know music. Why do you think you're better than us? You think you're more of an artist than us? It's the glasses, but now you guys are all even. Consuming the arts. Now you guys are artists.

Bobby, you sucking that robot off does not look like an artist, what an artist would do. You really looks like you're breathing on your headphones. Trying to get the ear wax off, dude. It's good for your breath. What is it? What is it? It's a breath thing for your breath. I feel we shouldn't be shooting electronics into our mouth.

What? It's another thing that they duped Bobby with. That's all. He goes, no, dude, didn't you want mints that were charged? Bobby, Bobby the mark. I really hate the mark. They go, you like Bonaca? What if you had to plug Bonaca into the wall?

He goes, heck all my money, dude. Dude, gum fucking is bad for your teeth. Dude, can I Google something when I'm having a breathment? Oh, shit, dude, my breath mints are out of charge. Oh, dude. Give me a second. I got to have shit breath because I'm out of batteries on my mince. In the old days, you can get 60 sticks of gum for 30 cents, but now...

Dude, I go old school. Now you want a $4,000 pair of AirPods that blow smoke in your face. Dude, dude, my gum is in 4K. Oh, dude. Am I not allowed to have Wi-Fi on the plane? How am I supposed to use my wince? Mintz, dude. You fucked it up.

I did. I called him Wins. Wins. I really am a gadget douchebag. I mean, they get you. They're right. Bobby's... I actually, I got got a couple times.

I told you that before I bought Max a piano off of the Facebook ads that hooks... It's a little piano that hooks into other piano. You can make a big piano. And they sent me two harmonics. You got them a Russian egg doll of pianos. Yeah, but it's also a toothbrush, dude. Start with the smallest piano. You work your way up to a grand.

You could floss at the piano wire. It was supposed to teach you how to play piano, half piano, half deodorant, dude. Plug it in. And I just bought a multi-tool off of Facebook, and it was a fake ad, and they just took my money. Damn. Yeah. What are you going to do? Woo.

Boy. Is Max good at the piano? No, they sent me two harmonicas. He's great at a monica. And when I said, when I said, when I said that, when I said that, when I said that, when I said that, when I said that. sent it back. I go, hey, you sent me to harmonicas. They go, well, you can send it back,

but it's going to cost more money to send it back to us. So I was like, I just take the head. Now you guys put this cat skills, father and son, harmonica, do it? It's not harmonicas. I'll take that. Why? I didn't like it. You did a little bit of me.

You did a little self-conscious, Dan. We didn't even bomb you. I know. I'll be in here. Don't put that near your face. You're right. It's never been washed. Never been washed.

Tomorrow. I'm going to wake up and be like, You know what the problem is with this podcast? I can tell you guys. There's no problems. What are you talking? It is what it is. We're being funny.

We're having fun right now. We're hanging out. I'm going to tell you something. What? It's important. Brother. Nobody wants to be the guy. See how it keeps getting quiet and everyone look?

Nobody wants to be the guy that tells the story or introduces something. Because everyone just goes, you fucking. You fucking. Yeah. So we just fucking all sitting like asshole. I did start a yoga story. And I tried to get through it as fast as I can. We were all just...

You said, I did yoga. And we also went, fat, fat, blah, oh, I gotta see Joe's impression of us doing a story again. Can you please do it? Yogurt. You can't even tell a story. Oh, this one, by the way. I was in Belfat.

I did Belfat. You fucking faggit. Sold 88 tickets and a 400-seater. You know, you know, You do a theater, you bring the opener up from like a God mic. You go, like, hey, ladies gentlemen, I'm just kidding, it's me. Who's ready? I did that in Belfast, and just nobody responded.

I was like, hey, good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Belfast comedy. This is going to be a great show. I'm fucking around. It's me. Oh. Nobody reacted. And who are you? I bought a ticket to come in from the cold.

When you're at the improvs, and they're on the Godmike, they go, guys, we got your headline of Robert Kemp. Kelly's here. He's in the back! You're here. Yeah, dude. Oh, brother, I hate that one. He's in the back.

Give it up for him is one of my least favorite things. He can hear you not applauding. Yeah, because I always take it like I'm outside in the rain. I'm like, I'm sorry. You know they've got a new improv in Brooklyn. They've got a Brooklyn improv.

You've played it? No, I haven't done it yet. It's nice. That's great. So when you do that... But this is worse because I'm literally doing like a schick. Yeah.

Like I'm being like, yeah, I'm fucking with you. Here I am. And they're nothing. And I went, It's Joe List, and one guy goes, truth. I was like, you guys don't know who I am. And the guy's like, woo, the regs.

Which, by the way, people were really saying, we should go to do London. I mentioned this somewhere. We should go to London. And then after my show, I did two sold-out shows in London. And everybody was like, you can bring the regs, get Lewis over here. I mean, I'm going back, I think, in early 2027. I'm going to London. Let's all go.

I've never been to London. Good day, mate. He should go, because Ari's going to live out there, too. We'll go fucking hang with her. That's why I went. It was to see him, but he wasn't there. Fucking idiot. No, he's...

He's not moving. What? He's not moving. That's great. I'm a legion of skinks. He's... What? His heart found a home.

Not home. It's the world's most offensive podcast. Right? That's cool. Also, I got another funny strip you want it. Yeah.

Because that one has to roll in the aisles. No, I really... We need a first funny story. No, they let... You weren't listening. You went off to ride a fence. You don't even know what the fucking story was. Ride a what?

What the fuck? Saying a fence? is that? Yeah. She picked that up in Belfast? You're out riding fences. Oh, he went out to a ride a fence. Lewis is always out right in a fence.

He's Puerto Rican. He climbs fences. Yeah. Got him. No. No. I didn't like that. I liked it.

Oh, he's Puerto Rican. Oh, that fellow with the glasses. Heiding, hiding in plain sight. I know. He's got one leg over the fence. He can't get his other leg over. I know what he is. Maybe we should all hide when the kid comes up here.

That'd be funny. Yeah, that'd be fun. the fuck is this is a birthday party hey guys I know what we can do we can hide candy all over the place I thought that was a funny story about Max's birthday party can you tell that about him getting into a thing oh the other thing

I told you in confidence I can't talk to Lewis he can't give up my bank statements on podcast to Lewis you have like a meaningful conversation he goes hey what was that diagnosis you got there was two of the things you like you said it was super secret we have to do a benefit for you and he

What happened? Thank you. What, what happened? What, what happened? Thank you. Thank you. What do you mean that? No. Fuck out of here, you fucking piece of shit.

Oh my God, he's just through calm. What's wrong? What's wrong? Why would you do that? Don't do that to him. Why would you fucking dare you? How dare you? Hey, listen, you're doing a great job, kid.

Good for you. You're safe here. This is at least this. He went like this. Thanks, Bobby. Be his guy. Be his fucking guy, hemorrhage. Hemorrhage.

What you're real? And by the way, just so you're not, no. we don't know that. We will never, we will never know that. First of all, first of all, he just swallowed in fear. Can you stop? We're talking to strippers like you're going to bust him out of here. Yeah, dude, stop.

Also, are you... Don't you dead name hemorrhage? We can't let his family know where he is. Are you gay? And he called you the F word? No, I'm not gay. No, he's not gay. Yeah.

God, Joe just called him gay. Why would I say that? He's doing that. Extraordinarily gay, doesn't he? He's not gay. Oh, okay. What's so funny? He's like, yeah, I'm on this party.

He was like, are you really gay? You think he is nice now. Wait till you work with him for, and I mean this for one day. You'll see exactly what a fucking piece of shit this guy is. That's really incensed. Yeah, that's fucking nuts. He'd say that. Yeah. All the things I've done for you? Like, hit me?

I've never fucking hit you. I've wanted to. I didn't say all the things I wanted to do to you. No, you threw a bottle at me once. When? Years ago. Yeah, the old setup. I remember that. He threw a bottle right at me.

Yeah. We were all like, whoa, that's actually. actually too far, Robbie. Yeah. Was it a bottle or a plastic bottle? It was a water bottle with full. That's not bad. I reported it to pot.

Dude, no, it's not like throwing water at me. Well, what did you do? It was refreshing, dude. It wasn't a good spritz. Oh, like, it wasn't a hot thing. You didn't need to cool down, dude. Okay. So that's how we're changing it, dude.

Completely full closed bottle. He goes, dude, you were thirsty. And what's a quicker way to get you water? I did that. Lead a Lewis to water. Make him drink. We had extra water. a sponsor that never paid us one time.

And of course I have a house that's called the Pulling Spring Mansion. I did that to Neil Brennan once too. Through something at Neil? We were, I was at the laugh. What's the laugh factory? And I was there all week. And Dan kept bumping me.

Damn. Kept going on before me. There was one time I was like, hey dude, can I just do my spot? Can I just go on? Is this after? Is this after you guys? No, this is during it. I was on tour with him. Yeah. And we were taking a break from Torin. I was staying with him.

And he comes up and he goes, dude, I go, can I please just do my spot? And he goes, Bobby's sleeping in a bed shaped like the super finger. He goes, by the way, I can't stretch out. It's that middle one in between the two big ones. I can't get my photo. And he goes, uh, he goes, he goes to a cannon bull and the super finger bull. He goes, uh, he goes, dude, I got to get out of here, man. I got to, I got to get home.

I go, I'm staying with you. Yeah. You have to wait. Yeah. You have to wait for me. You're driving me back. You're my ride. That's crazy.

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Fucking Neil goes, guys, this guy's great. You love him. He's hilarious. From Boston. You've seen him on Torgasm. I start walking to stage. And he goes,

Dane, cook every. Place goes nuts, of course. Dane literally comes up, goes, ha-ha, spins around me and goes on stage. Damn. I'm fucking livid. I walk upstairs.

I have one of these in my hand. And then Neil sticks his head. He goes, ha, ha. And I fucking threw it. add his face to the bottom of the stairs. Now, he's very quick. He's got good reflexes.

And he moves ghostly. And then I walked around L.A. by myself. Damn. So mad. It's going to fucking d. Yeah. What I throw a bottle of you for? You just would be nice and everything was great and I just threw something at you?

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I remember it. I think he was practicing Christmas hymns. Yeah, exactly. And then you whipped a bottle out of it? Do you have wanted to throw bottles at Lewis?

Oh. Everyone's dated them. Raise your hand. if you've ever wanted to throw a bottle at Lewis. Baco, no, no, and I mean this loud, loud and fucking clear. What is this? Loud and fucking clear.

I don't know. I'm, I'm, I'm clocking it all, okay? Oh, when we get home, when we get home, when we get back to Gas Digital, we're going to have a conversation. You're going in the room, you're getting hot tea hands. Do it. Go stand in the porch.

Let me see your hands. Oh, sorry, Louis. Mm. Nice. I hope he put his dick in that. He too. He's a handsome boy and he's obviously gay. I still haven't gotten an apology.

And he's clearly. You apologize to him. Apologize to me. You were wrong. You were wrong about the cream and the half and half. Can we move on? Because I'm not going to sit here and argue with you. Did you guys see the doc?

The crash? Yeah, I did. I watched it. Pretty interesting. I watched some of it. And then I watched it until I came. Yeah. You're like, how fast was she going?

Oh, fuck. She didn't even hit the brakes. Yeah, she's a psycho. What was it about? These teenagers after prom or graduation die in a car crash. And then they, like, wonder if the car malfunctioned or what happened. And it's just that the girl was a psycho. Yeah, the girl got mad and upset at her boyfriend.

She's like, I'm going to crash it. Which, by the way, I threatened my son with every time I drive with him in the car. They're going to crash my car into a wall. Why? I threatened to murder my child. Why? Did you think we're going to be like, because they're annoying. Yeah.

Dude, I didn't know that you're going, hey, James. He's clawing at the door and he goes, there's no, sorry, I locked it. We're going to go on this wall. I wouldn't mean you threaten your kid. Like a psycho. What the fucking mean you threatened your kid and driving it into a wall?

Yeah, we were all in shock. We're all like, huh? Lewis thought there was such a little longer in the moment. Lewis thought we were going to be like, yeah, dude, everyone does that. Everyone threatens their child of driving them into a wall. I just don't have a sense of humor about that stuff. I'm a father.

Me too. Okay, but Bobby's laughing. I've never did it. I would never threaten my kid with a crash. Driving it through a wall is nuts. You don't think that's funny at all? The movie's off. My movie that I have been making

and it's really fucking great. It's out. Why? Out why? It's out. I don't like that kind of here. It's out. It's at theaters.

Please go see it. Other people are watching it. I haven't promoted it at all. It's fucking out. Let's do plugs real quick. No, I mean, all right. We're going to come back to this documentary. This isn't.

Please. come see me this weekend I'm in or this comes out next week all right never mind come see me in La Jolla, California June 26th and 27th then I got Baltimore Maryland coming up after that on the 28th as well thank you for La Jolla Baltimore coming up Lafayette Louisiana Lake Charles Louisiana Fort Lauderdale Florida Portland Maine and more

go to my website Louis Viscayx.com sign up for my mailing list check out all the other pods that I do sign for guest digital If you love this show, you get the uncensored ad-free version every Monday, every other Monday night before it goes to YouTube or anywhere else. And buy my book, knives and spoons, available on Amazon at Barnes & Noble's.com. Yeah, Stanford, Connecticut. I will be there at New York Comedy Club July 16th through the 18th. Then in Montreal at Club Soda, July 25th. Club Soder.

Club Soder that night. Ow! July 31st and August 1st, Albany Funny Bone. Dan Soder.com for tickets and podcast Sodor. Thank you very much. I love you guys. Who's next? Hey, this weekend, Calgary. Last minute edition. Laugh stop? Especially in Pittsburgh. They double-booked me.

The laugh shop's great. I'm in Calgary. Yeah, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And then Portland, Maine, we added a show. Yeah, they're mostly sold out. I think they're all sold out. But Tacoma, July 23rd, 24th, 25th, and Portland, Oregon, August 13th, and the 15th. And, of course, side splitters on there every year, October 1st. My third, my favorite. I mean, one of the top clubs in the country.

Oh, mothership, too. September 4th and 6th, my future home. And that's a, I'm hearing from other people outside the podcast that it's true. Yeah. That you're moving to Austin. Yeah. And then Tom Dustin, Portrait of a Comedian. My worst film, that's going to be nothing compared to this documentary.

I just saw the man. I just saw the man. I love Tom Dustin. Shout out Comedy Key West. What a fun fucking time. I'm going to be Governor's Comedy Club Friday the 19th. and Saturday the 20th. And then I'm going to mothership.

July 3rd, 4th and 5th. I'll be at the mothership in Texas. And then I'm doing the Portsmouth, the Music Hall in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. July 25th, one, two shows Saturday night. And then Saratoga Springs is a new club up. I'm doing there September 11th and 12th. And I'm doing the Brooklyn Improv, September 26th. So go to punchup. Live.

Of course, I'm doing Boston in October, October 16th and 17th, two nights only. And Skankfest after that. So go to punchup. Dot Live slash Robert Kelly. My special's up there live from the Village Underground for free. And make sure you go to punchup. com. Live slash Robert Kelly and join that.

We're back. Woo. I was going to say. I don't know. We were talking about the documentary. But I watched the documentary and then, you know, they have her at the end being like really, upset and being like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.

And then immediately there was social media clips of a girl that was in prison with her that was like, she's not sorry. She like tries to go around and control the whole prison. Is this a real thing that happened? Yeah, a girl killed her boyfriend and a friend of theirs when she crashed her car going like 90 or 106 straight into a building. That was nuts.

It's crazy. It starts with them with the police finding the car split in half. I would never do something like that, especially to my child. Yes. That's what I was saying. No one would do that. And then they were like, the parents are like, no, it was, there's a malfunction or she had a problem. And then like they do the testing of the car.

I guess cars have black boxes now, which I didn't know. Oh, yeah. And they're like, she didn't even kind of hit the brake. The pedal was to the floor. No braking. He was going to say to the metal and he stopped himself. Yeah, I was going to go pedal to the metal. And I go, well, there's probably carpet there.

But they have videos of like the fucking neighborhood camera and you see the car go like, whew. And you just see it go like, shoo, fucking. get passed into a building. It's nuts. Hey, why don't we go to London? It's fun. He's not that long of a flight.

I'm doing, I am doing shows there in the spring. So there you go. We can't go because he's going. Well, I mean, we'll go, but we'll just do a lot, but I'm like, you're saying he's doing it around his schedule. Well, I'm saying I'm already going there.

Yeah, so we can't go because he's already going. Into the tickets. Huh? What? We want to separate these events? Sure. Isn't it going to be harder to sell tickets if you're already sold out? Yeah.

That's what I'm trying to tell you. That's what he's saying. Oh. Oh, I thought you were saying tack it on. No, we tack it on to his show. Isn't that what you thought he was saying? No. I did.

It's all right. So we both thought. I was hoping. I was saying maybe tack it on to the show. We'll just do a 10 o'clock, which will be. People will buy double tickets. We'll talk about it off. Why don't we do it?

I think it'll be fun. Let's talk about it off air, so we're not making any promises. Dan's that never come true. Can't we fantasize in the meantime? What will we do? But Dan's agents are going to be like, no, that's your market now. You're going to ruin your market. I understand.

So we go a couple days later. Or before. Right before. The week before. Big, big venue. Why see Dan alone and you can see all four of us? How about us to do a show when he's doing a show? Dan's going to outsell us.

It's like what fucking Gabby had sold us at the Grammarcy. Well, we could do like the Cape Cod melody tent that summer. On a Thursday, on the hardest day to get there. I don't know. I'm just thinking. I just want to be with you guys. Well, then don't move to Austin. Whoa.

I was going to say before I move. When are you moving? We can't talk about Austin. Do it everywhere. If you're moving there, we can talk about it. I'll let you guys just decide with the show us. I'll just react. Can you not get butt hurt?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why is he getting butt hurt? Don't get butt hurt. He's just putting it up. You haven't thrown out a single topic. Fuck face. Don't give us a topic. Whoa.

You have just been poo-pooh. I tried to give you a topic with private things that Bobby told me in friendship conversations. You guys don't want to do that. Hey, hey, we could talk about Bobby's foreclosure. You go, what the fuck are you talking about? Bobby's many marital problems right now? Bobby lost a tiny house.

We're not talking about that? What did it do? Roll down the hill? Hello. Oh, you save that with a hello. No, that's good. It's been a running gag. Wheels.

It's not on wheels anymore. Oh, nice. It's a four-season host. I got two houses. We didn't make any money on the podcast ever. You think I made money off of that for you? Topics, topics, topics. I mean, that was a great topic.

What was it? Max's birthday. Yeah, he had a great party. This fucking guy. Nothing. There's the thing. Anything you bring up. He'll literally kick you out of the table.

Don't fucking do that. No, if there's something I don't want you to talk about it. Before the show starts, I go, don't talk about that. All right. That's okay. I'll do it while the show. Don't talk about that. Okay.

But now I want to know. Juicy. It's not juicy. Oh, man. It's fucking juicy. Come on, Bobby. It's a slight. It's a little morsel.

Come on. Don't fall. You take your little robot. Hey, like your little robot. Just breathe a little into me. Sorry, don't recognize. Giant mouth. No, get your shit away from me.

I'm not letting AI take over my brain. I'm fine. Get your shit. Not AI. Yeah, it is. Shooting AI. Your AI binocca. Yeah, AI binocca got the fuck out of here.

Tell us what happened just a little bit. Nothing happened. Okay. We went primitive camping Friday night, me and Max. Does that mean you eat shit? What does that mean? That's exactly what it is. We go up and we eat each other shit.

We eat each of the shit. You fuck a wolf. You eat some shit. We eat shit. You know, we do full Farrell Friday. We recover ourselves in shit. We stalking. animals. And then we had a birthday party Saturday.

What are 13-year-old birthday parties like now? Is there just a lot of screen watching? John's still doing it like he's a kid, like remember the old ones? Yeah. So she got a child. She got a sprinkler, this big blow-up donkey for the front lawn that's a sprinkler. Sick. No, 13-year-olds don't want to fucking run through beams of water. Like your mom's so gay, Max. Were they mad about it? They're like, what is that? They want to taking it off and fucking spraying each other with a

hose and that thing wound up in the neighbor's backyard. Oh, that's fun. And then she got squirt guns, which was stupid. You just have it such a hot party. Yeah, shirtless, shirtless boys. What are you guys? Baby oil wrestling? Listening. And then they got this kid that lives there around the corner

went home and got some fucking crazy super soaker. Really? They all had little, Don bought little kid guns. Hell yeah. And this kid came back and just like, it was like, you know, fucking that was four flat tires. That was like the car didn't turn over. Holy shit!

I never seen a car die on the highway. Because the expectations on your face shut everything down. Dude, you literally went, it's a good one. And it shut my face down. That was like in the old days, they get up like an old car and you'd go to turn it. It would go, I was going to say civil rights footage.

Okay. That would be great. I was right there. I was going to say civil rights footage. But you went. And it fucking shut my brain down. I really didn't go. Oh, nothing.

Oh, man. I liked that the kid came back with the fucking real guns. Yeah, it was pretty... Well, not a real gun. Load up on guns. Bring your friends. It's fun to lose. And to pretend.

Can you stop this? No, I love it. I'm overboard and self-assured. No. I'm enjoying this. No one's enjoying this. What song? Hello, hello, hello, hello

With the lights out! It's the stagious! God damn it. Here we are now! Entertain us! Bobby stupid! I'm contagious! Yeah, you are.

You are. You are contagious. You are the definition of contagious. That was fun. Damned it. Dead vanilla! Louis is sexy. You're right.

Those are the lyrics. Yeah. He does every voice. Vanilla. Louis is Lewis's big band. Oh, no, I'm not a bad boy in my 40s. Vanilla. What am I going to do?

I'm 43 and I'm not cool. First of all, vanilla is one of the best flavors. Vanilla's the best. You're right. That's what I was saying, man. I was saying you're the best. So I understand why you're coming at me, dude, because I got sprinkles. You got fucking chunks of tire.

I'm like one of those, I'm like one of those, uh, those like one of those, those like milkshakes where they have like a cookie in the top and a cheeseburger and a fucking lollipop. No, that's me. Yeah, because you feel sick after being with you. Hey, Paco, laugh again. Paco, I love independent sexy summer Paco. We need to start checking Paco for bruises on his body. Yeah, he is. He's going to be hitting him where we can't see.

He's like burn marks. Yeah. Before the regs, we're going to start doing little 90-minute interviews with you before Lewis Free. Just so we're going to bring a doll that looks like you. Tell us where he punched you. What's his name? Paco. Haas sauce. What's his name? Hostile?

Hostile. What's his name? Hemorrhage. Hemorrhage is still scared right now. Yeah, dude. He's terrified. He's got to be around Lewis. All right, let's take a quick moment. I think GLD for supporting the show. Father's Day is coming up. Bobby, I know you love your GLD jewelry.

Incredible jewelry. Necklaces. Actually, I got one from me, and I got one from Max. Me too. I got the Cuban links. And he loves it. Yeah. I love, we always pop up chains out, which is awesome. You guys got matching chains is sick. Dude, it's so cool.

The actual gold one, which I get nervous about buying gold, it looks so great on. And it feels great, and it's nice and heavy. And the actual clasp. The clasp is super cool. They have unique, their own, like, style of clasps they use. They feel great. If you feel the difference when you hold them in your hand, there's real gold in every single piece. This is a great gift for.

that man in your life, your dad, your brother, whoever it is. Father's Day is coming up. Genuinely, incredibly, they have collabs with major sports teams and DC Comics as well. Plus, they give you a lifetime warranty, so you're going to have it forever. That's big. So work hard and change the game. For a limited time, new customers are getting an insane deal. Use the

code regs, R-E-G-Z, to get 40% off at g-L-D.com. That's 40% off with the code Regs, at g-l-D.com. After your purchase, they're going to ask where you heard about them. Support the show and tell them the Greg sent you. Let's get back into it. All right, let's take a quick moment. I thank Ultra for supporting the show.

Ultra pouches are great, dude. A lot of people use nicotine pouches. You see them with caffeine now. You don't want any of that crap in your body. Ultra pouches are absolutely incredible. They help you with focus and energy because they have neutropics and vitamins directly in the pouch. Okay, so they have Alpha GPC, which is a great neutropic that helps with memory, brain function, overall, just feeling great. Plus it's got B12, which I was literally taking on my own every day. So instead of popping all these pills, you pop an ultra pouch in your lip, you get to look like one of the cool kids, they taste great as well, and it makes you feel really good. Yeah, I use them all the time.

I love them. I have them around the house, and I don't feel guilty about having them around the house with my kid and my wife. It's an ultra pouch, and it has all the stuff that I need without having to take 55 pills in the morning. I just pop it in, and I have it all day, and I keep them with me all the time. I love them. And the actual flavors are amazing. Tropical, watermelon, winter green, cool, cool, man.

They have the new blue raz, Joe. I know you're a big blue raz guy. I am a blue raz, and he's not just razin. I get sad and I love to be rass. Sad ball busting. But pick up a better habit, see what the buzz is about. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch, delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. Regs fans can use the code Regs to get 15% off at Take Ultra.com.

That's Take Ultra.com for 15% off with code regs. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Support the show. Please, and tell them the regs sent you. Back to the lecture at hand. Oh, that's good. What are you doing? What are you checking?

He's checking his text. He's always on his phone. Always wheel and always dealing. And now that the glasses are on, it's fucking business 24-7. There's no fun, Lewis. There's no sitting around eating M&Ms going to fucking sexy locations, having fun vacations. It's all paperwork. Sexy locations, fun vocations.

Taxes. It's all paperwork. Adulting. It's all APR finance. I got my gun license. What? Oh, God. Oh, that's good.

Can we all be more comfortable? Can we testify to the state of New Jersey? Please. They go, Mr. Gomez, we had three random people. You do have to have people sign off for you. Yeah. Who do you have? I forged the signatures.

Yeah. Don't sit, dude, take that back. I'm kidding. My son's mother and my assistant. Two people that would be killed if you had a gun. Honestly, two good signatures. They go. They signed it at gunpoint.

Do it. Let's do it. You think I won't? You don't think I won't? I'll do everybody. I'll do fucking everybody. And you're driving. Oh, look.

That's the wall. That's the wall. I'll fucking do it. I'll fucking do everybody. And we're driving down to the license place. And everyone's going to sign off on it. Yeah. I got a great topic.

Oh, this was good. This was a great topic. Louis getting it. It's related to this. But it's related to this. We're not even going with this. Hold on, guys. Let him sing his song.

Fuck, Mary, kill. Come on. Louis James B. Louis, James, and B. No. I don't like this. That's funny. James, I love James.

Because then you have to have sex with or marry James or kill him. I'm going to sign off on your gun license so that you can shoot Joe. Thank you. What? Yeah. I'm going to buy you the gun so you can kill Joe.

Thank you. I want to get you a nice sig. Honestly, I'll buy you the bullets so I can get out of this fucking podcast. Well, you're going to do that anyways when you move to Austin. Great point. What kind of gun you get in, do you know? I think I'm going to get a Glock.

You're getting a Glock? Are you going to keep that thing on you? I have to wait to get a concealed carry, but yeah, eventually. Please don't. Why would you get a concealed carry? But you can't bring it in New York. You can only have it in Jersey. Or I can fly to places with it.

I can go visit you in Texas with it. Yeah, good luck getting through the airport with a gun. You can come to New Hampshire. Hold on, hold on. You can fly with your gun. You can? Yeah, you have fucking check it in. Check it.

Check it. That's what it is. Check it is. You can't get on the plane with it. You have to have the bullets in a separate compartment. There you go. And then check it in. Hold on. That makes sense.

Dan was just wrong. No. I was saying you wouldn't get on the plane with it. John Wright. You won't get on the plane with it. You want to get on the plane with a gun. I'm still correct. You can go to bring it.

You can travel with it. New Hampshire is a carry state too. I can carry my gun. Tennessee. On my hip, if I wanted. How does that make you feel? What about your back? I tell you what?

When I go hiking, when I used to go hiking, you're going to shoot your own foot. With just like maces or bear spray, when you go hiking in the woods with a fucking sig or a 9mm, you feel really safe. Just shooting out trees that crack and make noises. What is it, dude?

Dude, fuck it. Something's following me, dude. I don't know if it's a... It's a squirrel. Dude, it could be a fucking skin walker, dude. Bobby's like, dude, I hear crickets and I didn't even do a bit. Dude.

I had a thought and I heard crickets. I'll fucking kill you, Voss. Fuck you, small mouth. Yeah. Hey. Too far. I go too far sometimes. That's my thing.

Come on. Are you going to go to a range and get efficient with it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. I'll go to a range with you. This gun ranges are so fun. It's so fun.

We went to one in Austin together. Yeah. At Moontown. Are you going to arrange it? I'm a murranged it? You know what? You're right? I stopped.

Yeah, good job, too. What are you going to ask, Bob? What does? I'm a member of a range up in New Hampshire. Are you a different guy in New Hampshire? Do they know you're like a little performer in New York City? Nobody. Do they know that you do your little sats and talk?

I don't tell them. Do you know you do your little performances nightly up in New Hampshire? Do they think you lay rebar? The guy that I bought the land off of Barry is like a man man. And he actually came to one of my shows. And I went up, he brought his wife. And after the show, I went over, hey, what's up? I was expecting to be like, you know.

That was great. Yeah, he was like, good stuff. Oh. I was like, uh. You do that everywhere? Yeah. regular Mississippi everywhere. Oh, that's cool.

You really like your... That land is mine again. I'm taking it back. I got six guns in my tiny house. That's more... What do you... It's like to live it a thousand guns in a regular house. You just have a closet of guns.

I have a safe. There's guns hanging out the windows. I can't sleep anyway, dude. Like, wake up there. You go, oh, is that your bed? You go, no, it's where my guns rest. I have a gun safe. I have an AR.

I have a 30-30, uh, Marlin. lever action, like the old West gun. Bobby's just saying things. I got a 24 barracuda. I got a... I got a 6-7-5-309. I got a 30-for-30, Bill Parcells. I got a lot of shit, dude.

I got a 22. I got a 1080. I got a 1961 World Series Golden Cup. I got a Don Julio 1942. I got two 3-80s, handguns. Three-80s? That's an engine. That's 720.

Dumbass. 380 handgun. I got a little tiny gun. I got a 4.41 with a hemmy. I got a... Full-toe capacity on that thing. I got a sig-9 millimeter. I got a Jara V-A.

I got a Sigma Nu. It's a fraternity you can join. I got a Delta, Delta, Delta. I got 21 Jump Street on DVD. I got three doors down. I got a fucking eight-mile. I got an eight-mile there. I got five for fighting over there.

Everything, Dave. It's all up in the tiny house. I got a 365, 24-7. Wow. He really fired. I knew it was going to be him, too. No. We all stopped through it.

Whoa. Ooh. You have an AK 47 or 46? I don't have an AK. A-R-15. A-R-15. That's just like a 9-millimeter. It's not a really big.

But the 30-30s of fucking. What's 34? Can we pull that up? 3030? 30 30 Marlin lever action all blacked out with the scope. It's the one you have to go, boom, is that when you make, God damn it, I was going to make a joke and then I was like,

it's not good. You know when you're like checking it and you go, nope. I've never done that. Really? I've never stopped myself. I was like, did the joke and I was going to stink. It was in my head. I was like, a boy. I got that gun right. That's crazy. What's that for though? You can use it. I use it for target practice, but you can hunt with that. Max is going to start. hunting this fall.

It's terrible. Yeah. What, hunting? Yeah. This is 336. That's a sick gun. That's like the, uh, that old West gun right there. That's a fucking sick gun.

Love that gun. That'll be, that'll be taken from you in the apocalypse. Bobby'll go, that's my water. Hey, dude, what are you doing? Hey, give me my fucking gun. Barry. Barry, give me my gun back. He goes, this is my land again.

He goes, no, go, don't, do Barry. The handle, the pump. Barry, remember when you saw me and I did that? bit where I went, Hi, my lid. It's watching you perform. The pump thing looks like Lewis's glasses. What?

See the part like this? Yeah. I'll show you guys. Can we take a... No, he's going to do a demonstration. Let him do a demonstration. Yep, we got it. We put them next to each other.

It'll be a hot bit. Yeah, no, no, I'm getting my handgun next week. I'm getting my hair done. Nice. I don't you have don't you have I don't know how it is in Jersey but in New York you have to get gun first and The store keeps somebody second store keeps it I think they keep it for like a few days so you already bought the gun no so you're gonna get the gun after you get your like don't that when you get your license Don't they need the the gun serial number for that license

Oh maybe officially like when I I did I know that everything's in and I can get a gun as of next week Yeah I think so whatever that means you go buy you guys I because you have to register each gun in New Jersey it's like you're You have to have a license for every gun. Every gun you have to have a license. In New York, too. You have to buy the gun, give them the serial number. Then they approve that gun, and then they give you the gun. Great.

Yeah. Are you going to shoot one of us? No. Who would you shoot? Me. If I had to shoot one of you. Yeah. I have one bullet.

The gun that's like you have to take one of the guys. For the other ones to live. But the other ones to live. I haven't finished editing the movie yet. Do it. Send me home. I shoot you in the head. You just press it out of your head like Wolverine.

I go, hey, Bob. Lewis, you shouldn't have done that. I picked the wrong one. I picked the wrong one. Is there lifting everything up in my mind? Who would you shoot? Me? I think it'd have to be you.

Did you get a gun safe yet? No. I got something for you. Do you? I have this sick for a handgun. It goes on your... He's going to give me a safe that doesn't work. No, no, no.

Hey, we leave the podcast. He goes, that's nothing. Once he puts it in there, he locks. It's busted, dude. The gun's never coming out. I was watching TV late one night. It popped up. I bought it.

I have. They said, I was one of the first 10 callers. It's just a box that doesn't open, dude. It has mouth spray in it. Right now, it's holding my harmonicas. It goes in your draw. It's a gun safe slash hairspray, dude. It's a gun you charge.

The problem with the gun is when you, to get into it, when you have to go to the safe, if someone does break in, you have to go get your gun. It's a fucking, you know, it's a problem. You got to get in quick. No, there's the one that I saw that I want to get where it's like a fingerprint safe that it just, it just goes around the trigger.

So literally just pick it up, you'll click. Yeah, but you don't want somebody to get the gun and take it. Yeah, but they have to have my thumb. They have to cut my thumb off first. Good luck getting past my gun. He's just saying take the gun. They could just take the, if someone steals you, you don't want somebody to get in, get the gun and leave it.

What are they going to do? They're going to fucking, now they have a gun. Now they're fighting me. with the end of a gun. But now they might have another gun and you don't have a gun. Oh, I didn't think about that. Yeah, there's a whole

Moodon. It's a short fat, Bobby. Bobby, I know that you. That did. I have a thing that you put the gun in and you just squeeze that like that. Mustard comes up. And it opens that.

It's a sandwich whatever you want. It's a mustard or a bullet. You can put anything in there. I'm not giving it to them. I got it. No doubt. It was three payments of 30. 9.95. I said, dude,

look at this. Is this what you're talking about? Lewis? Your gun can shine your shoes, dude. Your gun can check your email. It can protect you and protect your email. It protects your email, too. It gives you a better Wi-Fi signal.

Dude, turn on the gun. Put the gun in your mouth, you get better Wi-Fi, dude. Five, six-Gs. Six-Gs if you feel the barrel. I'm thinking of six-gs. I got a 6-G in my gun, sir. It's a... Is that what you're? you have, Lewis? Is that what you want?

It looks like the top of a mic stand. Yeah. Yeah, it looks like a comic's trying to have a bad boy. Like a picture? Yeah, no. I... Is that the gun you're buying, Lewis? I mean, not that exact one, no. You should make an assassin's case where you open it, you know, and it's all the guns in your garage.

I just want to have a fucking gun in case somebody comes into my house and I have to kill myself. Is that going to be the finale of the spring term in the spring? Break in my house. Get my gun from me. Survive. It's sound. to four of you guys for half off Skank Fest tickets if you can get into my house and get my gun.

Yeah. But like in New York if you have a gun you can't shoot somebody, you have to retreat. They have a retreat. Same thing in New Jersey. New Jersey, like you literally, if somebody breaks into your house you have to like kill them, you have to drag their body into a room with no other exits, put a weapon on them and then

convince the jury that you had no other choice. That's why you have a body room. Dead body room. Yeah. It'll be very hard in your tiny house. I think it's it's retreat law. So you have to stay in the ground. You have to retreat and there has to be no other choice. What if they have a gun?

It doesn't matter. You have to retreat. You have to show that you couldn't retreat. Yeah. You have to go into a room and they have to come in and you have to, I have a gun. You have to say all this shit. And then you have to prove that they had no other choice but to shoot them. That's not that crazy.

But if you're in your bedroom and you own a gun and someone comes into your bedroom, you can't shoot. If they have a weapon and you're in your bedroom and there's no other egg. exit out of your house, you could probably shoot them. Okay. Yeah, but if they come, if you just see a figure in your house and they don't have a gun and you shoot them, even though they're in your bedroom, you'll go to jail. You'll go to jail. Right.

It's almost fucking pointless to get a gun. Yeah. You'll never use it. No. Never in a million years. You'll never use it. Also, I have a home security system now that it's just annoying. So you just want to increase the chances of someone getting shot.

You just want to go to jail. No, no, I don't want to go to jail. I don't want to do any of that. But fucking, James is a panic button in his bed. room now? When you scare him in the car? Beatrice goes off non-stop. Things always going off. Don't silence it. It's at, it's at Lewis's house.

Weep, weep, weep. I just did so much in the past two weeks. I got security cameras. You have a panic room? I don't have a panic room. We've got a panic room. Every room is a panic room in his room. This says where it applies. Primarily in public spaces. What the retreat was?

No, I'm telling you. In your home? home in New Jersey. I'm just reading what this says. I'm not trying to argue. I don't know anything about it. But what this says right here is where it applies, primarily enforced in public spaces. Exception. There's actually a... This is regardless, duty retreat, state and public, almost all states

like you to stand your ground if you're inside your own home. Yeah, but inside... Exactly the opposite. That's not true, though. If they don't have a weapon, if you don't know that they have a weapon and somebody breaks in your house, you can't just shoot them. You can't just shoot them. You generally have no duty to retreat if an intruder unlawful enters your residence, as the law presumes you are in a reasonable fear of death or great bodily injure.

Google's got your back, bro. Look it up. Look it up right now. Don't tell him this. If I shoot somebody in Jersey, Bobby's like, hold on, let me ask my breath strips. It's wintergreen, which means yes. Three more weeks of summer. If it was cinnamon, it was no. This is great.

They're headphones, but they're also Puxetony Phil. It's crazy. It can predict the weather. I think it's in New York. I don't know if it's in Jersey. Definitely in New York, though. New York law, you have to retreat. This says no duty to, unlike the general rule in New Jersey,

if you are attacked in your own home, you are not required to retreat. You have the legal right to stand around and defend yourself. Yeah, but if you're attacked is different that if somebody breaks into your house. I think you have to prove that you were in fear for your life, not that they were stealing your TV. My understanding of it is. and all my legal training what I understand this there it is

it's so funny where it is safe and feasible to do so the law typically requires you demand the insurer to leave your home or resorting the forest defensive property can not use deadly force purely to prevent property theft or stop an intruder from fleeing

yeah somebody comes in your house and tries to rob you unless you can prove that they have a deadly weapon on them you have to just literally let them take your shit but isn't that cooler where you go I had the shot back off then he goes don't do it then I go

I had it. Katie, I had it. You don't have to get a license. You're lucky that my gun also acts as a GPS. Boop, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo. Okay, we're about six minutes away from a Wendy's. Are we driving or walking? Okay, walking, we're 25 minutes.

You don't have to get a license to get a long gun, though. You can get a shotgun and just get it. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, I just have a shotgun. Yeah, dude, that's what I want. That Sarah Connor fucking. For the problem with a shotgun is, like, Now I have to clean brains up from my living room.

How good of a shock you think you are? Shocker, you don't need to be a good shot. I know. Blam, you're fucking brain. That's what I mean. That's why. It's a buckshot. But a shotgun's better because if a regular gun will go through the walls and maybe kill a neighbor.

But a shotgun is just burst out and you don't have to be a good shot. You'd have to be very unlucky to shoot through a wall and kill a neighbor. That'd be insane. It happens. It happens with those bullets fly through the walls. But a shotgun won't go through the wall. and also you don't have to be a good shot, and also just the sound of

will usually scare the shit out of us. I just make that sound. That's why I have Dan as my friend. Louis, can I go home? Hold on, my friend with this spaceship is here. Sorry, I was reading. Oh, and it's Matureman Randy Savage at the spaceship. Yay.

Oh, yeah. And he's got a shotgun. Ready to leave, brother. Please let me sleep. Rest is all I want. Having my friends do sounds. Please let me go home, brother. I'm really tired, brother.

Brother, I'm not. Speaking to aliens. Stop trying to change the separatish. We're literally doing a bit. We're in a bit. It's about aliens. I'm all jacked up on coffee, and I'm yes and it. Are you going to go see Disclosure Day?

I'm seeing the premiere tonight. Oh, I'm going to see. I'm walking the red carpet. No, you're not. I'm going to see Mateo in Chicago. That's awesome. The way you changed the topic.

No, I'm on topic because we're seeing things. Yeah, you're seeing things now. You have glasses. You're four-eyed, fucking homo. What are you going to see? Disclosure day, the new Spielberg movie, and I'm walking the red carpet.

Spielberg's going to be there and Emily Blunt. Didn't he say that when he started making these movies, this, right now he believes that this is actually real, like aliens are real. He believes that aliens are real. Yeah, my question is, is this a sequel to encounters of the third kind? I have no idea. I don't know anything about either of these questions. Look into this before you go to the premiere. Bobby? Yes, I do believe he said we are closer to this actually being real. Yeah, this, this, this movie tonight is actually. There's a lot of crazy shit about unidentified flying objects. A lot of shit. And unidentified. I mean, Jay won't give you anything

about that. You try to talk to him about aliens. He'll shoot. We just had, uh, Sean and Dan on last Wednesday to convince Jay that there's aliens. Yeah, I mean, mathematically it makes sense. The aliens have existed at one point in the world. Yeah, for sure. I think alien, yeah, we don't even know. It could be so much bigger. It would be impossible for us to be the only intelligence life, just pure numbers-wise.

That's exactly what I said, bro. But us being in the same galaxy at the same place, the same time, that's unlikely. I don't think that we're encountering aliens. Yes, Glass is Lewis. I like all of the science out of you. I've done my research. It's my own research in a bathtub. Yeah.

What about you, Joe? Do you think Disclosure Day is close to a real thing? I haven't seen the picture yet. What is Disclosure Day about? I don't know and I don't want to know. Yeah, I don't know. Why would you bring it up as a topic? It's the big UFO Spielberg movie that's coming out.

He made a movie, a UFO movie, and he's saying that this is, this is like close to real. This is close to. It's also a good way to hype up a movie. It's a good way. We did the same thing with fucking. that horror in the woods. Yeah, they claim that was real. Be excited for the premiere?

Yeah, it's going to be fun. We're going to go on a date. We're going to dress up, walk the red carpet, which I don't understand. They want you to walk the red carpet. I'm like, who's going to, no one's going to. Man, you thought that fucking Godmike incident was tough. I know.

That'll be fun, you know. Oh, I did a gig last week, too. That was really fun. Margo Price. You know her, the singer? Yeah. Did a show with her. Mark Marin gig.

Really fun, yeah. Where at? Soho sessions. Really these cool people. Oh, Steve Gutenberg was there? Hey, from Police Academy. That's right. I follow him on Instagram.

He always does the positive little things every day. Oh, I got to follow. Walking through New York. Positive, yeah. He walks. I don't know how he does it, though. He must be doing this or someone's filming him because he's just like, you know, every day,

there's something to be grateful for. And he starts talking, and then he says something positive. That's it. Nah, man, you got to follow a Bessie-nose ball, especially during the basketball playoffs. this is old lady that talks shit about basketball. Nick's tonight, right? You guys have Nick's fever?

It's over now. It's all. I mean, yeah, by the time it's out, it's probably done. Very, very fun to watch the city get really excited about it. It's fun. I had to watch the first game, and I guess all the rest of the games I'm in New York for, there's a bar across the street, but I have cable, but I don't have a cable box. I'm streaming.

So it's behind? So it's three seconds behind. That sucks. Oh, no. That sucks. I have to watch it. with music blasting in the air pocket. That sucks.

That's what happens, you know, when we're watching sports in different rooms, if we're watching the same thing, she'll be like ahead of me and I'll hear her go, oh, and I'll go, it hasn't happened yet. Then I'll have to go in the room and watch it with her. But across the street of bar, having it is a fucking nightmare. See, I can't even podcast anymore because I'm just waiting for Lewis to poo-poo. I can't even look over there. Dog, this is Science Lewis.

He's thinking about aliens. He's thinking about gun safes. He's thinking about legalities. He's not thinking about that topic. Absolutely sucks ass, and he has no idea what we're talking about. Guess who I'm interviewing for the movie? Basketball. Who are you interviewing?

Take a guess. Who you're interviewing for my movie? Yeah. Steven Spielberg. Lewis's fourth grade art teacher. Mark Marin. Nope. Irish Fear.

What? What? It's a toxic gang fest. Can we shut down? Can we shut down? I like Mark Marin. Yeah, he's fine. I like Mark Maron.

I like Mark Maron. I like Mark Maron. Every time I've interacted with him, but I'm drawing a line between Rogan and Maron, I'm on the Rogan side. You're moving to Austin. You need to learn your fucking role, doggy. Damn.

You're saying it what it is. You got a pick. You're saying it. You just put it right to go. Lewis is out here trying to make internet videos, letting you know what side he's on. No, that's not when you do it. That's if you have a headache.

Oh. I want to do too lazy to try. This is like the scene where they're explaining stuff to the Terminator and Terminator 2. It's like, you can't go around. Just kill him. people. Why?

You live. Why? If you want to say something cool, you say, Asta la Vista, baby. Asa La Vista, baby. Not right now. Not in the moment. That's playing at IFC right across the street.

I'm going to go see it. To watch it in the theaters would be sick. T2? T2. I saw T2 in the movie theater with my mom. I did too. Fucking rules. Have you seen the kid from T2?

How fucked up he looked? You mean Lou Whitsky? He looks exactly like Lou Whitsky. He looks like a witsky. He doesn't look like Lou. They got a new teeth, though. Someone paid for new teeth. Edward Furlong?

Yeah, man, that's tough. Teeth really help a face. Except it ruins actors in period movies now. Because you go back and watch movies in the 70s and 80s when they're doing like a period piece and they all had fucked up teeth. Yeah, there was a thing where like, up until like the mid-90s, it'd be like an A-less actor and they got like fucking fuck. Yeah, but it's cool.

They're playing a role and you go, oh, look at them. I know that guy. He's got all fucked up teeth. This is what they had back in the 16th century. You can tell one of comics about to pop because he always get new. teeth. Yeah? So, yeah. Jay Moore and Jerry McGuire, teeth were bad. Next movie, perfect. They show up with them. Tracy Morgan got fake teeth. Yeah. His teeth are great.

I wish I, I mean, people should get fake teeth. Damn, why do you look at you, Joe? I didn't. Damn Joe. I did not look at you. Joe would be hilarious with fake. Oh my God. Oh, dude, they can't even fit. He just looks like he's in a cartoon. Oh, it looks like he's fucking stuffed in a closet. And he looks like Roger the Rackett. He looks like Roger the rabbit. He goes, I'm saying, they're out.

I can't fucking, I can't hide him. He can't close his mouth. Yeah, my lips keep peeling back. He's got little, he's got little cuts in the corner of his mouth.

Just looks like this little blue light shining through his lips. How are your teeth? You had the braces. Let me see. Invisal lines, dog, they're different.

They look good. They look. Your bottom. They look pretty good. They look at the bottom. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, no, they look way better.

I mean, compared to what it was. Yeah. I wouldn't say they're good. I mean, they're good for chewing. Louis, you got a good. Hey, Joe, you got good teeth. I didn't want to stop the bit, but.

Oh, come on. It's Roger Rabbit. I was going to say the same thing. What did he say? Roger the Rabbit was crazy. Go on the Roger the Rabbit and we moved on. It's the age difference. Can I tell you?

I was like, I don't want to be that guy because Bobby always accuses me being the guy who's like stopping it. So I consciously went, Roger the rabbit, fine. Well, this is the same. We all feel. Now I think Bobby's a fed. We all feel the same age. Dude, who calls it Roger the rabbit? What is it?

Roger Rabbit. My favorite character is Dad. You're not Bobby the Kelly. Davy the Duck. Hey, you know, Bugs the Bunny? Porky the Pig, you fucking ass. Who are you a Chinese spy? Who the fuck talks on you?

Roger the Rabbit? I don't know you. That's the age difference comes in. We all feel the same age. And then you realize he was 32. There was a lot of cartoon crimes going on at the time. What is it? Dennis Menace, Roger the Rabbit.

What are you? G.I. and Joe? Oh, fuck. Yeah, but that's Jessica the rabbit. She was hot. Pepeville Lapeu. How about Q on that?

Keppel Lapeu. Holy shit. I was holding on no matter what anybody went. I was like, I'm not swinging on anything. Lewis can't get the vibe. Lewis got caught on a change up. It was a 3-0 count. Yeah.

Lewis Jason. Oh, fuck, that one was cross the plate. fucking A I don't know why I just got thrown out of the dog out Peppy the Lapew That was fucking great Let's go to love

And all four of us Because La is the We got it I know We got it We got it I understand that Class is Lewis

Two hours is long What are you talking about Dude? Don't relax When you get under Rogen You can be doing Fucking four hour Podcast

And I would hate it Talking about alien And it would fucking Hurt my career You're the fucking asshole You're gonna change a subject as soon as Rogan starts talking about aliens? I should have. Oh my God,

you know nothing about the Rogan's fear. You're training him for Austin. You're like your sensei. Yeah. Yes. When you move down there. Best tacos in Austin? 10 out of 10. They're cold. I love the food in Austin. Tim Dylan would argue

against it. I know. Tim Dylan. Yeah, but Tim Dylan is like, it's like whatever it is. He's just going to pick a thing and then he's going to stick to it no matter what. Austin's got incredible food. That's like, they've legitimately incredible restaurants. Yeah, but they don't still open late. That's the thing with Austin.

Austin puts off this vibe that it's a late town, party town. But during the week, things shut down unless you're on that sixth. And even there, things, you have to go to that hamburger place. Yeah, nobody's eating on six street. Yeah, but it's like, it's like no place you can go late. Like, no place you can go late. Like, no one. Also, a 44-year-old married father.

Yeah, but most, but even good restaurants in New York City, like, you have to find the late-night spots. Like, it's not like everything's open past me. In the night in New York. Korea town's open. China town's open. Same thing. He reached just in the same basket. Wait, what was I going to say?

I had something to say that was important about what were you saying? Austin's food. How are you moving? You're giving up on us? You're quitting on the fans? No, no. That wasn't it. Breaking so many hearts.

Keep going? Yeah, shit. Yeah. We should go to London. He's going to want us to go to fucking Austin to do this. Louis and go. Yeah, I know. That's going to be the problem.

Damn won't go. That Dan's going to be the problem. Yeah. Motherfucking, yeah. Do you go visit? Yeah. You won't visit? No, I'll visit.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm not moving. I'll stay at chains. I just fucking... I just got a house. I'm not moving forever. I'm not moving for five years anywhere, period. Five years is so funny.

Minimum. I'm not moving anywhere for five years. Well, I'm sitting in five years I could probably like sell it or... Flip. Sell it. No, I... Love it. Rent the house, buy another.

Move that bus. I took out half the just like the White House, I took half out the East Wing to build an octagon. Reveal! Do you think the fights are going to be good? Are you going to watch the fights this Sunday? Which fights?

The fights at... Is it Sunday? At the White House. It's Trump's birthday, so they're doing it on Sunday. You know he wanted to come out with a $250 bill with his face on it? It stinks. Keep the fucking politics out of the UFC.

It's the UFC's Sartitude genuinely fucking suck. Gayne White goes, I'm not political. We're going to go to the White House law. Dude, they suck trucks,

they suck Trump's dick. They fucking, it's not being about fighter safety. They have power slap now, which is the fucking

gayest thing on the fucking planet. Crazy. I never thought I would rather watch arm wrestling than something.

It's insane. Power slap is, I love arm wrestling. Arm wrestling's fun to watch. Oh, God. But I'm saying power slap, I thought it was going to be

a lot, and then I was like, oh. It's like all the it's like all the like the, you know, Just stand there and hit me?

Yeah, just like meatheads, being like, do. You know what it reminds me of is power slap reminds me of when drunk guys just go, hit me as hard as you can. Yeah. The second fight, though, Pereira is that going to be a good fight. Pereira, O'Malley's a hobby's a good fight. Toporia. Toporia.

She's a great fight. That's a great fight. These are great fights, but I don't give a shit anymore. How does it have a bow nickel fighting? How do they... I don't watch this is going to be fucking epic. But outside, it's going to be... What if there's a storm?

Here's the problem with outside that they didn't figure. and Dan actually, when he was there, he said, yo, there's a lot of bugs. Yeah, dude, that's going to be so funny

when they're like, yeah. They're like squaring up and they go, yeah, it's going to be outside. They're going to figure out the buggy about those.

I got a buggy by those. The lights are going to be so. They're going to track bugs. It's going to be a lot of bugs. There's a river there. There's a couple rivers by there. He's a little nervous about the bugs. So I don't know how they're going to,

we got big bugs. Dude, that's going to be crazy if someone loses because of a bug. We've got the best bugs. A lot of bugs. A lot of bugs. Wonderful bugs. That's pretty good. It's not bad. So, Shane's title.

Yeah, dude, I just don't give a shit anymore. I haven't watched the fight. I watched the, what's his name fight? Yeah, the Strickland fight. Strickland was a great principal. I lost $2,000 betting my friends. Oh, no. I was cocky. I was like, Jay and Oriol, I'll give you five to one odds.

Strickland's going to get his fucking ass kicked right now. We'll take it. Then Alex and Kim walked in there like, we want on the action. I was like, bring it on everybody. I put up $400 or I put up $2,000 versus $400 and I lost. It's infuriating. You really were cocky. Oh, it's making me angry.

What times the fight start? I like East, East Coast. Well, it's East Coast, so it's going to start. I'm going to be in... It's going to start at 7 or 8? I'm going to be in San Francisco. I'm excited. I might put it on just to have like...

I'm going to watch this. This is going to be a fucking epic fight at the White House. They finally have fighting at the White House instead of... What is it on? Paperview? it? No, it's, uh, I think it's, it's on paramount now. I just think it stinks. I think the fact that they, they went so far right instead of just being a sport, like, just be a fucking sport. It's the same thing when the, the football players

were, were fucking, uh, kneeling during the, uh, national anthem. It's like, just fucking, just stand up. Like, what are you doing? Stop politicizing it. Yeah, but you're playing fucking with balls on a field. Go play with the fucking balls. But this is, this is, this is not right or left. This is America is 100% right. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, It's his birth. It's also America's birth. Yeah, July 4th. Yeah.

June 14th. It's 250 years of fucking America. Then do it on the 4th. Huh? Then do it on the 4th. Too busy, man. 2005 years of America. So it's on his birthday.

I don't need Americana in my cage fighting. They can just be cage fighters. There's a bunch of fighters that are from different countries. They're from Brazil. They're from Russia. That's how I found out about Muslim Russians. I don't even know those are things. And those guys, white Muslims from Russia?

White Muslim Russia. And then they're like they look like. They look like Ewarks, but they took me shit out of everybody? They said, I bet you can't make a Muslim scarier. Hold on, I got this. Watch this. I'm going to take the mustache and just have the beard. And they go, no, no, no, what happened to your mustache?

You go, that's how you know they're a problem. I see that beard. I'm fucking frightened. Send him Dagestan two, three years for get. That's one of my favorite bits. It's like a little gay kid. It's like, hi, mom. Send him two three days.

Singing Taylor Swift, send him Dagestan two years, forget. My favorite one is during the world baseball classic, all these Dominican dudes, started showing little kids playing baseball and it cut to him. They go, puppy, send him DR two years for game. It's like a kid going to baseball. He's like, fucking out of the rules. I'd say my kid to the Dominican Republic. This is a clever thing they do under the lower fights.

They make it look like maybe it's a championship because it says bantamweight bout. You know what I mean? Like underneath, it's like world lightweight championship. Well, you'll notice that they put championship into the fights. And then it says bantamweight bout. So having something written into there, I'm like, oh, these are all championship. fights and then you read it's like, oh, about. But of course it's a bout.

You don't put baseball game under, okay. Now that was worth the glasses alone. That's good. If it says Red Sox versus Mets, it doesn't say baseball game underneath. They make it look like you go, all these are all title fights. Well, they say title on the first two to let you know those are title fights. I know, but I'm saying. And they usually have the title fights.

You don't know anything about advertising, even though they get your hooks. You're the marks. You're not the advertiser. Yeah, you're going to buy stuff. This is how they hook. We'll sell you a fucking... You should have advertised better in London. I sold out too in London.

All right, whatever. Belfast. Any way I can have this also is like oven. Can this fight be an oven too? I think this is going to be fucking good. I'm going to watch to see if the bugs interfere. I think the bugs are going to be nuts, but the last two fights are going to be awesome.

And who are the two guys in the photo? Why they both have titles? Because they're both Because it's an interim Intram. He fought Patty Pimlin to get the belt. He's the champ to the left,

the guy with the beard. He foxes everyone up, right? He got hurt. Yeah, he's a pretty bad ass mother-off. So they each have a belt. Well, he got hurt, he was out, he fought Patty for the interim belt. He beat the shit out of Patty.

Now they're fighting for the belt. So it's like when Rick Flair brought the WCW belt. Pierre? It's the big gold. Yeah. The area actually went up in weight class. What's his name?

I mean, Piorio. Barch the rabbit. Pyrrilla the rabbit. O'Malley, the fighter. Piero. The other guy. I did kill Tony with Sean O'Malley.

That's a. Are you guys friends? No, but I was throwing before and he was like, dude, those are fucking clean. There's no way, he said that. I'll, I swear to God. Call him. Call him right now.

Call him right now. Call him. Well, maybe if those. I don't have his number. But he literally was like this. That's nice. You just did that in front of a professional fighter? Yeah.

That's like if you're standing there with Tom Brady and you're like, And then Tom Brady's like, that's a nice spiral. That's pretty good. Do you have your thumb all the way through? What a phrase is a story for me to make up? The blue belt was made up. This is real. Say what I mean?

So now you can't stand on any. You're not a blue belt? You fuck, I thought you were a blue belt. No, I'm not a blue belt. I'm a white belt. It's pretty good. I can go be a white belt right now. We literally are a white belt.

Yeah, I have white belt. I'm going to watch these. I'm excited. I'm probably going to watch it too. It's on a Sunday, too. I miss paper views on Sundays. Wrestling for some reason switched to Saturdays and UFC's always were Saturday.

So it was fun to have like a UFC event on Saturday wrestling on Sunday. I'm gonna watch it, but it's still like I am verbally protesting saying it sucks that the UFC's become like a right wing fucking organization. Or just kissing the ass. Just kisses the fucking ass of the fucking president. Who cares?

Anytime of business kisses political ass you go. I mean, I was his name? Fucking Strickland's just going. It's like, yeah, I'm not going to fucking UFC is a reason. He's called U ofC Israel. He called Justin a good boy. He goes, you're a good boy. You're going to go sit back.

He goes, change your flag to the Israeli flag. And then he was like, shut up! I like when fighters get into fights and they turn into kids. Shut up, you're mean. People blowing your shit up, dude. Is it your AI girlfriend blowing you up? No. Or is it your gay guy girl?

That's what we're going to miss when he moves to Austin. Who's going to replace Joe? That's the question. We've had this conversation. Nobody's... Mike Cannon. Yes. We had it.

That's what you said. I never... And I mean this. I've never... I've never said Feeney's name for anything positive in my entire life. I've known him for a decade and a half.

Feeney would actually have the same type of energy. That's insulting. To both of them. Somehow. What? They should both be insulted. No, who could replace Joe? We had this dialogue.

It's got to be a fucking sniper. I got it. I got it. Andy Haynes. I love Andy. I do too. All right, old Andy. You're out of here.

All right, pal. We got hot. All right, well, get drunk. Why don't we replace it with a woman? No, that's a good topic. If one of us left, who would replace that person with? Who takes that person's role? Well, you just need a, we just need a German shepherd barking for your role.

We just need a fucking dog chained up to the wall. And I go, oh. Somebody does this. Just looking at you. Yeah. So for Bobby, we need like an old fucking has-been, like somebody who's fucking... For you, we need somebody who needs Dan. Whoa.

A number one. And we just get Katie to play him. Oh, I just hold hands the whole episode. He's so nice. I go, you make me feel so safe. We need, like, who would replace Bobby, like a fucking... Somebody we haven't thought about in a long time. You know who replaced soda?

I know who. The Matt friend. Okay. Who? He does a lot of great voice. Who is that? The impression guy. He does really good voices.

What, the political impression guy that did the, he had a special on CNN? Yeah, that's the guy. No. No, we need somebody, somebody more, who's a fun bit guy? Bit guy. A fun bit guy that can do voices? Like a. Sagalo? Can Sagalo do voices?

He's not going to be able to fill your shoes. These young bucks aren't going to be able to do. I'd say a young bucks. He's like 40 years old. Yeah, he gets angry too quick, though. He doesn't. I mean, somebody's a little bit more established. Nathan McIntosh.

Nathan McIntosh. Very funny. He's very funny, but. The problem is filling Dan's shoes. Everyone's going to hate her. Whoever's going to take Dan's place on a show It's going to be widely hated. Oh, my God.

They will get destroyed. Oh, I know. Oh, I know. But it was so funny watching. Lewis and Joe make the same joke at all of us looking at Bobby and Bobby going like, what's that? Yeah. Yeah.

I almost feel bad for the person. The way Bobby checked in, you went. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I had a fucking time machine, I just stay.

stupid. It's that scene from... Your show's not going to get picked up. Just stay. It's that scene from Interstellar where he goes, don't! Don't go! Don't go! Don't go to the show! All right, Joe lists we're replacing with...

Well, you need someone really smart who knows a lot of a lot of things. But it could be a male or a female. A topic guy. Great leader. What about, what's her name? Karen Feehan. Fun. For Joe, no, she's too mean. Jordan Jensen. Mm, that's Jordan.

Jordan's not a bad. She's a little too masculine. She's too masculine to replace Joe. Yeah. Oh, Ian. Finance. No. Why?

He's not likable. There he is. He's not likable. I disagree. People love Ian. He's very likable. Ian will be a better place. Oh, I got it.

I got it. For you? Make funnable, unlikable. What about, take a hit? Place in me, Louis C.K. Bill Burr. Shane Gillis, somebody of that ilk, probably. Jim Gaffigan.

We can replace all of them with all of us. What a show. Shane Gillis, Louis C. Bill Byrd, Jim Gaffigan. Take my money now. Oh, my God. Take the money I've already made. Better regs.

Better regs. That's the ultra regs. It's a mechreggle. Sebastian Manne Scalco could replace me. We could replace Joe and Norton. Oh, good. Oh, Norton would be a great replacement for Joe. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that touches my heart. He's the Hall of Famer. Phenomenal stand-up comedian. Loves dick. Who loves penis? Loves cock. Absolutely.

You can replace me with Stavros. Oh, too big. He won't answer our calls. Oh, that's fat physically. Yeah. We have to wait for him. We have to wait for him for him for a couple years. Yeah.

And then we'll catch him on the fucking on the down slow. We can replace Joe with like a, like a, a, like a, a, a, a talented, Mattio or an Oscar Aiden. Yeah. A talented. He's in Chicago. I know. I'm going to, I literally texted. Like a fly Chicago anytime.

I want. And I was like, dude, I'm taking my son to see you in Chicago. That's so cool. I love that one. Like a 90-minute flight. I'm fucking, I'm pumped. Yeah, are you going Friday or Saturday? We're going Thursday. Oh, are you going to go backstage after and get the tour? Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, Chicago's a great show. That'll be fun. And James loves that shit. James loves it. And Mateo's it.

Yeah. That's crazy. Mateo is like Jamie Fox talented. Yeah. You should fucking do everything. Draw, voices, stand up, sing. Take penis. Yeah. Take a dick. Take a fucking cock. Imagine. Shredded. Oh, my God. Cucks, cooks, great.

Oh, my God. He cooks, too. Oh, he cooks Italian food. Right, he'll do videos. He's, like, in his underwear eating pasta. He's just shredded. He's like, how? 4% body fat.

How is it even possible? He doesn't eat it every day. Yeah. He gave us a recommendation for pizza in the city. It's like nice. Oh, my God. It's good. He was like, that was my cum.

I go, good. I'll take three more slices. All right. Well, boys. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. That was fun. Oh, dude, checking in it.

That's how we should end the last regs. Is clock out? We didn't know. We just kill each other. That'd be sick, dude. All of us with guns in a row. Lewis doesn't pull the trigger. He goes, all right, and also I had him sign over all the rights.

New regs. I went and saw Benetton. Another topic. Oh, yeah. We're fucking wrapping it up. Oh, so is he. All right, all right, guys. Well, that's it.

Make sure you check us all out at our shows. Check out our websites. And we'll see you guys next time on the regs.