Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rosebud Baker | Sneaky Mouthful

Episode Date: August 2, 2021

This weeks YKWD Robert Kelly talks with Rosebud Baker about spousal expectations, peaking sexually, and how attraction works! Plus some drop ins from Jim Norton and Joe List! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta, ¿dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa en preno, conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso, que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la Dición Especial de Madrid nos liga.

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That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original. Original. Regional, regional consistent podcast. I mean, very consistent. If you say anything about me, I'm fucking consistent. It is the number one podcast on the East Coast, done on Tuesday night between the hours of seven and 10 o'clock. On McDougal Street.

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patreon.com slash Robert Kelly become a member we get extra YKWD You get the what's in the box. New podcasts. This podcast is coming out. You get the one of ones. You get the fucking life from the Sheds. The whole library of all the life from the Sheds. We're talking Matt Sarah. We're talking Jim Norton. We're talking Anthony Kumi. We're talking I mean so many Ron Bennington calling Quinn. Everybody's been up to the shed and even more, we're gonna be filming some more in September. Once Joe comes back from his fucking stupid month-long vacation and Buffalo, boo.

And then also you get, of course, Colleen Kelly Friday shows up there and you get to be one of the Ladybugs on JLP parties on Saturday nights where we let everybody in the Zoom room and we shoot shit and it gets pretty fucking crazy. I'd like to welcome Gabby. Gab crazy. I'd like to welcome Gabby Gabby I'd like to welcome mush. We got Nicole mush is back by the way. Welcome mush. Hello Let's vote par. Yeah, that's good. That's good. We got we got Nikki lions

And we got of course we got Joe Russell And we got of course we got Joe Russell aka Horsesheck pits and He looks like horseback nothing Not his face is pits And we got Rosebud Baker is in the house Rosebud is back. Welcome. We're gonna have some special guest to pop it in maybe So hold on to your horses and fast forwarded that part of the podcast. No, no, I love.

I'm so excited. You're on. I mean, we had your husband on before. Yeah, but it was not exciting for you. I mean, clearly it was, I mean, listen, you know, Bobby took about 17 calls that episode. I'm a little your married to him. I mean, how many times have you wanted to take it a call?

I got a podcast with him. It is. If you, how many times have you wanted to take it a call? I got a podcast with him. It is. Right. If you know how many times I have to carry that fucking podcast, actually, if he was here, he'd, if he's listening to this, he's in the car, just like he's not on the, on the fucking. He's not. Trust me.

Listen to this. Fuck. It's too low brow for him. It's low hanging fruit. He's like, she might mention me. No, I love Andy. I just, we got a bunch of phone calls. You were like, you took about 17 phone calls before he was like,

am I not a good enough guest? No, he was taking phone calls and then he made a phone call. Yeah, and he was like, all right. Yeah, and he was like, well, excuse me. And it's like Andy, you knew it. Heard his feelings the first time it happened. But then it happened like 16 more times and you could just see him. Well, when I made the phone call,

when I actually took action. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wasn't responding. I actually took action and all of some of it. You were like, get somebody in here. No, it was, it was, you were so mad at De Stefano. You were so, get somebody in here. No, it was, it was, You were so mad at De Stefano. You were so mad.

Oh, that's yeah, fucking goddamn it. It was supposed to be Andy, right? Is that his name? Andy. I'm kidding, I love you, kid. I love him. He's the best. He's awesome.

Yeah. But yeah, Chris, Chris E.D., who apparently is a serial canceler. Yeah. He's a serial cancel. He's one of those, he's like, that's a very LA thing too. Is serial cancel, hey, can I be on? Yes, okay.

Chris, and then, and then, Chris seems like the kind of guy that would make another guy feel like he said, I love you just to fuck you. You know what I mean? Like the kind of, you know, when a guy's like, oh, I love you and you're, you don't have to say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's that guy where it's like, please don't do that. Please, which guy is he the one who says,

please don't do it or the one who says, I love you. No, the one that's like, I love you, but you're like, no, no, you don't, you just want to fuck. Please don't. Is he saying that to a guy? I don't know who's who's who here? Listen, it wasn't the best analogy, but I'm warming up and I almost called Andy.

I almost called Andy. During it, that's how fucking stupid it is. I've been moving all day, okay? Give me a second. We'll get work harder at comedy, so you don't have to have a moving job. I don't have a moving job. I'm kidding. There's another Andy job.

How dare you? How dare you? I'm kidding. Compare me to my husband, discussed and rear-wise. I love that there's this thing with comics that they found a gig that actually is kind of cool, moving is cool shit.

It's moving and fighting. I think he likes it. He likes it when he's not doing it a lot. Like, we'll come home and you can tell he's just like, he's gonna like piss standing up that night. You know what I mean? He's like, because he moved some fucking furniture,

jumped in a truck, sat in traffic. Fuck you! Yeah, he comes home, he's like, he won't listen to me. I'm like, kind of turns me on. But like, he's like, alpha. He's a man, you know? But then after about a week,

he's like, I'm a piece of shit. Grabbing you by the neck and push his out. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry. Then write a blog about it. I thought you were a couch, sorry, sorry. I'm a cop. Sorry, sorry. I'm gonna almost hit my mom this weekend.

I uh, but he's but it's good. I'm happy that I'm with a comic that actually has a job. Yeah. That won't that isn't like too proud to fucking do a manual labor. There's comics. Yeah. Have been in it that won't take manual labor jobs, but they'll let their girlfriends pay their fucking rent. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're called pussies. Yeah, and I can't. Yeah, but they'll let their girlfriends pay their fucking rent. Yeah, they're called pussies. Yeah, and I can't. Yeah, pussies. Yeah, you married a man. Yeah.

A man who went out, I'm gonna get a job, and it's gonna be fucking physical. Yeah. And I'm a goddamn man. Yeah, good for you. Yeah. Good for you. I do boss him around a lot.

You do? Yes. Well, sure. Yeah, because you get this rosebud. Okay, I'm gonna say this. This feels like it's gonna hurt my feelings. I don't wanna say it. I don't wanna say it. Don't you dare take a fucking phone call.

I swear to God, my mother. I'm so kidding, it was a joke. I'm saying, this is what I'm saying to you. You have, you're a beautiful woman. You know, this is the weird thing. I first met you. I was like, hey, cool. Then you put some photo up on Instagram of you at a beach. Yeah.. I was like, hey cool. Then you put some photo up on Instagram

of you at a beach. Yeah. And I was like, who the fuck is that? And it was you. I'm like, oh my God. Whose butt is like, who's like an 11? Oh my God. And I was like, what the fuck is that?

Surprise. And then I saw you again in a show. And I was like, oh, I get it. Yeah. You don't act that way. You're very, you're very alpha. Like you don't take shit, you're fucking, yeah, you have the same fucked up shit.

You're, I think it's a comic thing. Yeah, because you don't, you don't take shit, you're fucking tell us people go fuck up. You kind of always like, and not a, not a country mood, but like a fuck you mood. Yeah, no, yeah, I always, I have the vibe of somebody that's got a sling shot in their pocket and you'll pull it at any fucking Asshole from the 20s Frogs by the railroad tracks or personality. Yeah, see you want to back up see

I might throw a fucking a baby at your eyes See, don't find me sexy. But it's, I don't, not, it's not a, yeah, nobody wants to fuck off Finn, but it's not, it's like, I don't, I like to surprise people on Instagram every once in a while, just to be like, surprise, I am hot. Yeah.

Well, Andy is, Andy's very calm. Your husband's very calm. He's very logical. He's very Alfred. You're a very Batman, you know what I mean? He's very calm. Your husband's very calm. He's very logical. He's very Alfred. You have very Batman. You know what I mean? He's not calm. He's calm.

No, he's not. I've never seen him ever lose control. He's absolutely safe. I've seen you lose control more times than I saw you have control. I am in more, I'm more in control than he is because I lose control. What a zat man.

Whoa. What kind of horse shit did we? You ready for this? Yeah. So I feel like when people have the ability to just let their anger out, right? Yeah. Like if I lose my shit, I'm not mad after that.

I'm not, I'm over it. The second I let go. You let it out. Yeah, but he's, it's simmering there. It's just turning into cancer. Like as we speak. Oh no, he's, it's simmering there. It's just turning into cancer. Like as we speak, you have a friend now. He's gonna murder a family of seven who don't touch the piano and he's just gonna slice the crust.

Yeah, like Josh Gondelman, he's got fucking bodies buried under his floorboards. I guarantee it. He's the nicest guy in comedy. Definitely has a couple bodies in his. So you're saying that your husband is calm, but it's all pushed down aggression. It's a lie.

From you. So some day he will murder you. Not from me. Well, first of all, I've seen your podcast. Okay, it's absolutely, mostly from you. Okay. It's absolutely, mostly for you. I was on a plane like two months ago, and there was a guy who had a heart attack right behind

me, like his pacemaker kicked in, and the second he came out of his heart attack, his wife goes, did you have to do that right now? Okay, well, we found the source, and I really relate to this lady. The guy, I was like, that's, I texted Andy, we're gonna make it. They were like 83. And he's near death. And the second, the first thing,

the first words out of this guy's mouth after a heart attack was, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I mean, could you have taken a picture of him and sent the cops? He's probably dead. He's definitely dead. Tell me if this happens.

I think there's a weird thing that happens. It happens with kids and older people, but it also happens with a husband and wife. As the guy gets older, he becomes weaker. Mm, sure. And as, as, definitely dead. As the woman, as they they get out the woman is stronger

She's still doing shit like my member my grandmother was still walking around and making lunches And and my grandfather was getting older and she would you know, you could see the the role reversal Where she'd be like all right now shut the TV off and have you lunch right and he would just look up like if this was 20 years ago I'd slap you right here. I'd hit you right in Method Square. I'd crack you right in the face of the rock. And he just shut the TV off and took it. Like, you know what I mean?

Yeah, no, I think that's absolutely true. My dad used to be such a badass. My dad used to fucking, he was, I mean, he was awful. He was awful. Like, he was terrifying to live with him. But over the years, like, the testosterone's just like drained out of his body. He started collecting orchids.

Oh, boy. Oh, my God. He got DVDs for his cats. Oh, boy. He's like gay now. I'm like, my dad's gay. And my mom's also now gay. Yeah, I got my mom to four.

My mom is like, my mom literally broke up with her boyfriend because he liked her too much. Yeah, it's true. I think you become gay the older you get. Just like it just becomes more compatible to hang out my friend and maybe pull each other's puds in a steam room. And to deal my fucking 20 wife's fucking,

what do you want for lunch? I don't know. I just want to jerk my friend off Let me live My friends come yeah launch Steamy thing Toast some bread and put some come on it. Please no it's calm. I But I've seen couples like like if you see when the guy, oh, man, it's such an evil thing.

When the guy has, the husband has a stroke and the wife is like, I got you now motherfucker. You know what I mean? Well, now you need me. I gotta change you, you piece of shit. I gotta wipe you a fucking old ass. You talking about Keith? No, Keith doesn't have anybody in his life.

Keith drives himself around two strokes later. Like drunk. Yeah, he doesn't even use a cane. Yeah, fucking asshole. Decoration, he'll spin it. Yeah, he just comes down. He just had pasta downstairs. He didn't give a shit.

I tried to steal his cane once. Didn't even, he didn't notice it was gone. He was just like, I, but I, I seen that in like old people like the guy, and he got, you can see the guy just sitting there like the guy in breaking bad with a bell thing, thing, thing, thing, just as fucking wife who still got it together. It's a tricky, like who goes first?

Like physically, or mentally? Oh, the other person's just fucked. I know. If I went first, Andy would, he'd just have the time of his life. It would be the greatest thing that ever happened to him. I really think. Yeah, I really think so.

There he is, right? That's Andy. That's Andy. It actually looks like Andy. Jesus Christ. No, he would get, he would absolutely love it. Like, he loves me when I'm sick. Like when I'm ill, he's like more turned on by me.

Oh, he's a caretaker. Yes. My wife, my wife will not even get out of bed if I'm throwing up and say, are you okay? She's a bottom broad. I literally will say, I'm sick. She'll be like, well, what do you want me to do? I don't know, rub my back like my Nana. It's something.

She's like, you're 50. Get over it. I'm like, I'm fucked. If I go first, if I meant, she doesn't like when I'm sick. My wife does not like me when I'm weak. Really? She will take care of me for a day or something. And then it's like, get up and do some stuff.

Because my wife don't fuck around. She just does shit. She gets shit done. When she gets sick, it's like, fuck you, I'm going. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to like, if she gets sick, she's going to, I'm going to have to lock her in a chair.

So when I get sick, she's like, I want to lock her in a chair. Because she'll just try to get up. Like her mother was the same thing. Oh, she just like do it yourself. Oh, her mother, they were like, what? Lock her in a chair. Because she'll just try to get up. Like her mother was the same thing. Oh, she just like do it yourself. Oh, her mother, they were like, look, you can't smoke anymore. You can't, you have to change your diet. She goes, fuck you.

They came home and put tin foil on the table because she would fall asleep with like, lamb in one hand and a cigarette in the other. And then she wouldn't change. So they just put tin foil on the table and put it on her lap because she kept slighting her fucking sundress on fire. Yeah fucking crazy. And she's the same exact fucking way. New England.

She's from Boston. Yep same exact way. And my wife when I'm sick doesn't want to be around me. Yeah. Hates week like a week man. Yeah, I don't like it cool. I don't like it when When men cry. There's something about that that really bugs me. But at the same time, I also really want them to for them, but just in private. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I'm like, you should do it for you, but don't do it in front of me. Don't show me your weakness, because then I want to, you know, take control of it.

It's not that. I'm going to think about it before I come. I'm going to be like, oh, remember that. It's going to fuck me up. This is the weird thing that's happened. Am I crazy? That as the roles fucking reversed with women, like you punked us out of being macho sexist pieces shit, you guys don't feel feelings.

You're not emotionally connected to humanity. You have no empathy. And then we finally say, you know what, you're right now, we go to therapy, we're connected. I can't even watch a fucking animation show without crying commercials make me cry. And now you brought like, ah, you're pussy. No, you're right. No, you're 100% right.

I think you're right. And I think it's like, I think that's all just like internalized misogyny. Like that's us sort of wanting to it. We're used to that part. We want to keep the parts we like. Yeah. From before. We're used to that part. We want to keep the parts we like from before, but we also want men to treat us equally. So it's like, there's a lot of shit that we need to do now.

We got to adjust, because if you guys are going to open up and be and not be pieces of shit, then it's also like, we got to be able to be like, okay, I want you guys what I want. And that's like,, we gotta be able to be like, okay. That's what I want. You guys, what I want, and that's like, and you have to give, you have to give men some respect for that too. You guys, you guys muscle this out of our movies. We always, we had was TNA and farting and shit and jokes.

And you guys, like, that's all you do, to talk about your dad's and farting, shit. And as soon as you were like, oh, we were like, okay. And we made broke back happen. You guys made fucking, uh, you made that movie with Melissa McCarthy with she's shit in a sink. Bridesmaid. Yeah, you guys just took off. That was a very sexy movie.

Brokeback Mountain. Yeah, it was hot. No, Melissa McCarthy. I was like, watching this movie like I love this movie, but this is just what we were doing. What you guys told us we were fucking assholes for doing, right? Yeah, I don't think a broke back mountain was made for you. So you don't know anything? Yes, it was.

Look at his face. No, you think you didn't love every second of it? I mean, I'm talking like what, not Bobby, the real Bobby who wants the suck dick in prison. I don't want the suck dick in prison. You want the suck dick at brunch? I don't want a suck at brunch. Yes, you do. No, I don't want to eat. I don't want a suck dick in prison. You want to suck dick at brunch. I don't want to suck at brunch. Yes you do.

No, I don't want to eat. I don't want to suck dick and eat. Apatizer. Yeah. Have you ever sucked dick and then eat? Like, did you eat and suck dick ever? At the same time or? No, eat and then suck dick.

That's very casual sex. Just mots your own dick and a dick and a dick. Oh, I've a look down and there was like toast crumbs on my dick. I'd fucking, I throw a breakfast blow. Yeah, like a piece of bacon from your BLT on the head of my, oh. Let me discuss it though, still in my mouth. Yeah, oh fucking gross.

That's how you get ants. It's a fucking gross. But I'm saying that you guys, the rules have reversed a little bit with guys. Guys are very emotional now. Guys are very, but I don't think I talk to somebody. I still think girls want that bad guy. Girls want that guy.

I was like, get the fuck over here. Yeah. Right? But we can't be that guy anymore because you, we got in trouble for being that guy. And if we're that guy, wait a minute, let me fucking finish my thought, you two fucking. Okay.

And that's okay. I'm the man with toothpaste on his shirt, finishes thought, two hands and one big egg. Three stains on his left nibble. That's not toothpaste. I brunch today. But I'm trying to dress it up as something hygienic. But you guys want that, but we can't

men are so afraid to be that guy now, because all you have to do is say, this fucking guy got aggressive with me, and we're fucked out of a job, out of a fucking school. We give, I mean, that's, so guys, I know guys are like, I ain't doing that shit. I ain't fucking around. When I was coming up, I was that guy. I liked being

that. Come on, you want to fucking let's do it. You know, I like that shit. You can't do that shit anymore. You can. You can. No, you can. You can. Yeah, with your wife, but you don't want to. Bo wants to do that. Bo. Bo. The thing about it. I did that with Don, she tell me, go fuck yourself. Yeah, and that kid is like fun when you're in your 20s or whatever and you're like, you want a guy to, you really want to want a guy to commit, but you don't actually want a guy who commits. So like, then you eventually, you grow out of that and you realize like a guy who's actually emotionally available and wants to like start a life with you and like have a future. That's the scariest shit you've ever like experience.

So that's all fun, but it's really just like a game. It's not a real thing, you know. It's not like what you're what actually fucks with you. What do you mean? Like that joke that we were talking about last night that I that I do about, uh, uh, my miscarriage. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. What was that joke again? What was the miscarriage? It's, uh, I mean, it's like a whole bit. It's a whole thing. I'm sorry. I put you in the fuck. It's, uh, yeah, I'm not going to do that.

But it's the joke that you were talking about where I was like the choking. Yes. Yeah. And it's like I, I was into guys that were like that. And then I was with Andy and he was like, can we like make, can we like actually make eye contact and like connect during, and I was like, that's the scariest shit I've ever thought that's you're a fucking freak.

You know what I mean? That's such a funny joke. Like it's like that's a fucking freaky thing. It's what's dangerous shit you have. Yeah, I'm like, I never even like considered that. You're so turned on. I'm not the joke. Yeah, I'm like, I'm scared, you know?

Like that's the, you might as well have a knife to my throat. Tell me you love me. Oh, God, that's scary. Stop looking away, stop looking away. So that's the whole, that's funny. That was a great Stop looking away. So that's the whole... That's funny, that was a great joke. That's what I'm trying to say. It's not, we think we want some guy that's gonna be,

that's gonna like choke us and be like, oh, you piece of shit. But that used to be the guy's thing. The girl, look at me in the eyes. What's my name? Do you love me? That was the fucking girl thing and guys were like, exactly now it's somehow whipped.

It's whipped. It's whipped. Where girls are like, I'm like, I'm looking you, are you a pussy? I don't think it's like a guy girl thing though. I think it's like, that's the way people date now. They're like, well, don't take me out to dinner. Like at least fuck me first. I know. I know. That's the way people date now. They're like, well, don't take me out to dinner. Like at least fuck me first. I know. Yeah, that's all right. Stop right. Stop both you both you

So I'm sorry. I need to stop right now. So you're saying that you'd rather have a guy fuck you before he takes you out to dinner. I'm saying that's the way not me But I'm saying that's the way that people do shit now. They're like hook up with me and then we'll go out to dinner and I'll get to know you. Is that true? Am I off face? It depends. It depends on the guy.

If he's giving me classy energy first, I say fine. We'll go out to dinner. I don't like to eat in front of someone that I don't know what they look like naked yet. Yeah, especially the horse shit you eat, which is disgusting you vegan. I'm not a vegan anymore. I started eating chicken. All right, bitch. What's up? Oh, congratulations. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Oh, your shit smells though, huh? No, I feel good. I

feel strong. Maybe shit. No vegan shit smells. Oh, does that smell? Yes. All right. Yeah. Yeah, no. If the guy is like cool, classy, interesting, I say you could take me to dinner. But if it's like still really up in the air, it's sex first so you know if you're even into it. That's so fucking, look at, I agree with you. I agree with you, but that is so backwards. Of course! To what I grew up with with girls.

I grew up with the girls, you take me out, you court me, take me to dinner, show me that you're not here just to get laid and I will give you the pussy. Yeah. Okay, now you're saying it's actually opposite. I have to, we'll have sex and then if you like me and the sex is good, you'll let me buy you a meal.

Well, because what happens if you go on three dates with a guy, that's three nights you've wasted. And then you have sex and he's a small dick and it's bad. This is what we used to say as guys. To waste time. We used to say this all the time. Fuck me first. Who was it?

It was Jay Moore was like, oh, it was a if I blow you, then you won't have respect for me. It's like, are you nuts? If you blow me on the first date, he was said, I'm getting you flowers, I'm buying you chocolates, you're getting fucking everything. I mean, that's a, but girls would hold it back. Yeah. Maybe that was a generational thing from the church and all that where you don't give your, yeah. I think that was like left

over from the 50s or something. But now it's just whipped. Girls are just, girls whipped. You guys just, you guys are just opening it up and get in there. Show me what you got. I ain't hiring you unless you fucking do a day, a day for free. It's work for hire. I would rather like,

I wouldn't like want a fuck a guy, but I would have wanted to see a picture of him naked. So just to be like, is your body like mushy? Oh, shit. I mean, I'm gonna tell how the T-shirt hangs. I'm talking about like vegan, vegan mushy. You know?

There is a vegan mushy. Sometimes I like that. No offense mushy. Yeah. No, there's not a vegan mushy. There's like, it's like, they're skinny, but they're soft. Yeah, sometimes I like that.

It's like skateboard body. I hate that. Oh, gross. I hate that. You're fucking, you taste the garbage. Yeah. Those guys are always the guys like can't come without looking in the Yeah, she likes X game. Yeah, that's cool. That's exactly my time. Yeah, I know nailed it. Yeah, you're looking at a dirty and X came. He's got a little tiny tail abrated tail. Yeah, when skateboarding

came to the Olympics, I was like finally I could fuck the boat. Half his pubes are fucking not there because you got no an accident, big doctoration. Burned him off. So it's like his half pubes is dick is weird. It's gonna fucking tattoo on his dick to cover up the fucking stitches. His dick just the head. Yeah, oh, yeah.

Yeah, crooked a little crooked. I just think it is, it's weird to me. Like if I was to go back into it, don't divorce me. Yeah. Don't go off of bits You know whatever we we separate it you mean eventually when when she does tend to yeah God dammit. I hope you and Andy don't make it

We probably won't know you will you will stop it relax. I mean this the fucking you know the odds are against you Definitely miss the thing. If Ruth, boss and body make it and you guys break up, you're shit. Pete's so true. Yeah. I was thinking about that. I was like, they can do it. But also rich rich and Bonnie have like a, there's like a weird alchemy there that just fucking works. They work. Yeah, they work. But he also has a separate bedroom that he lives in with stuff on the walls. Yeah, with arrows and fucking art get practice. She's been working really hard to go to leave him for months.

When he was like complaining about how Bonnie meditates more than him, I'm like, yes, she has to. Yeah. Like she lives with you. Yeah. Yeah. She's in Austin right now. God bless her.

She just won an Emmy too, which is the first thing that comes up. What? Rich Foss and Bonnie McFarlane divorce is the first Google. That's so funny. Why is there one with Bart with Arty Lang? Why is like Arty Lang? Is there like a somebody searching up Trio porn? Just a fucking, oh, three. That's my scariest thing is my wife's gonna type in Sheridan hotels on my Google search and just fucking, just 19 she-mail fucking sites gonna whip up.

Ha ha ha ha. I, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah on a tent. I don't know what I was saying, but what I don't know what I was saying What was I saying? If you're wife divorced you. Oh, if my wife divorced me and I had is that mine? Did I just wipe my head to be yours? This is not mine. No one else leaves little rags around but you oh That was disgusting. It's a really that's a specific detail that she knows about you Yeah, but that's not true. She just made it up. She just wanted to be poetic. That's 100% true. You always have a little napkin in your pocket

that you take out and you put it right next to you. Go fuck you. You're a fucking knife. I do not do that. You do not fucking stick me with a fucking stick mod up. You're a little wreck. I don't want to do little rags. You're holding a little rag. I got you have little rags in your pocket. I don't have little rags in my pocket. You're the kind of guy who takes the napkin and saves it. Don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look,

don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look,

don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, Let's do red little rag. Thank you, self. In your pocket, you're always dabbing your mouth. I hope your hair falls off. It's in the top off his eyes. I don't do little rag. Look at that come from. I ain't have any more.

No, you've never saw me with a little rag. Yes, I have. Name one time. I can't name a day off the top of my head that you've had a little rag. Oh, you have a rag, you're rag, you have rags. Correct. You're bloody rag.

I'm on my bloody rag. That's what I do when I get manages to repeat the rag. Rag're rag, you have rags. Correct. You're bloody rag. I'm on my bloody rag. That's what I do when I get manages to repeat the rag. Rag, rag, rag, rag. Brawd rag. I can do it in that lately where I get so lazy with my comeback. Somebody was like, somebody was like, hey, do you want to join this? The other day, I was like, do you want to join my ass?

What are you joined my ass? I am a big fan of the lazy come back. I love it. My wife does it. She'll just be like, are you doing my ass? I am a big fan of the lazy come back. I love it. My wife does it. She'll just be like, are you gonna do that? I'm like, yeah, you face. What?

Fuck this at me. It doesn't matter. I say your mother, all the time. Your mother. Your mother's box. I say it on the other side. I do it on the lazy come back as my thing.

It's great. It feels good. Oh, it's the best. Hey, go fuck yourself. Yeah, you too. I don't even care enough to think up something good. Oh, yeah, it's great. It's my favorite one. They're just confused. Like, it's just stuck to you. You want to join my ass when I join my ass. I think the person looked at me like they just snorted a B. Yeah. What? The patron.com Rosebud's ass. What you doing?

The price of a cup of coffee, you can join my ass and be proud of this whole project. And help me get through another pandemic. No, if I divorce my wife, let's get back, I got it now, I'm back on track. I'm back on track. If I, me and my wife, she divorced me and I had to go be single.

I don't, I would have to, I would have to go meet, first of all, I'd meet older women. I would never try to go meet younger women because the last thing I would wanna do because I remember being young and going with older women and I had to put up with stretch marks or weird little moles and like, you know, fucking things. We were like, you know, fucking things.

We're like, all right, I'll fucking, her vagina is very wet and big. You don't even have to say, oh my God. I don't want to tell him I was having sex, ain't I leave it? And I was like, she's like, oh, it feels good in my bum. And I was like, oh, that's in your bum.

I'm like, I thought that was in your vagina. That went in wicked easy. And I could leave my rings on her own. Yeah, I was just, so I know that a girl with me is sacrificing some of her soul to be with me. But a girl, lady, my age, we're both sacrificing. So you kinda, look, you got fucking weird cancer freckles on your tits. And, you know, I got two bellies. Right. You know what I mean?

So, I got a push fat belly and a regular stomach. And it takes a lot to get my dick out. There's something. There's something. Jesus Christ. Sorry. You just made that sound like there was like eight steps. There is this.

How many steps are there? Oh, I wrote them down. Unfold. I have a little pamphlet I give a girl. It's like doing that like game where you figure out like that you have to unfold the paper a million times. Sounds like a dang cook, man. That's a-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch I actually, it's like 34, right? You start feeling like I'm in the mood to get old. Like I'm in the mood to do it.

I just, I don't wanna try anymore. You know what I mean? To what? To like, I don't wanna impress anybody when I fall. That's a dangerous thing, is that when you, I've been there, I am there, okay? My wife is there. She has her hair up more than she gets,

she put her hair down the other day. I was like, what the fuck, man, you are smoking. Right. And she was like, should I wear it? I was like, no, leave it down. You look like a Spanish princess. I don't know if fucking get a hat with a little mask and fucking zero you.

I was so turned on, man. I was like, wow, just this curly fucking big. All she has to do is leave her hair down. I mean, it's cribbing her hair's up every fucking day. But that's why I wanna do, that's why, because all you have to do is leave your hair down, your husband's like, oh my God, I'm gonna put a mask on and fucking,

it's like, that's great. Yeah, that sounds great. I guess I guess But it was I mean we still slept in separate beds then that like Dick Van Dyke I mean it was like it was fucking awful, you know It was fucking miserable, but it's the best dude, but I got nervous like I was like I was like if I go over there and first of all I was tired Secondable I was like if well, I was like, if I go over there, and first of all, I was tired. Second of all, I was like, if I go over there, we're gonna, and she doesn't wanna fuck around,

she wants to go to sleep. I know the energy, I know her energy when she's doing it for me. First of all, she's, you know, she keeps saying over and over, come, Fats, let's go. And, but, if she, if she, I don't know, it's go. And, but, but if she, if she, like I don't know, it's weird.

If you don't do it for a long time, exactly. If you don't do it for a long time, it gets, it's like an argument. You know when you fight, you mad at somebody and you don't resolve it. And every time you see him, it gets harder and harder to bring it up. Right.

And so that one sex is the same thing. Yeah. With the relationship, if the longer you don't fucking do it, the harder it is to do it. And then when you finally do it, you're like, why did we not do this? You know? And I know.

But it just get, yeah, it's like, it's because you wake up. It gets awkward, it's like an unspoken thing where you go like, fuck, we haven't fucking too long. And then you're like, who's fault is it? Right. And then you start blaming each other. Yeah, you go, well, I was, you were the one who was busy

because, you know, I was totally deaf, but really you sort of like put a hand on his dick and you didn't really do anything. Sure, sure, sure. It was just like a, I'm here. Hi. You know what I mean? No, neither of you wants to like, initiate.

It feels like exercising or something. Yes, it's like the gym. Fuckin' it's like going to the gym when you get married. Yeah. Fucking it's like, I'm gonna go to gym tomorrow. And then your way, you gotta be like, I'm just gonna go to the fucking, I wanna watch Shits Creek.

Yeah. Just stay in. But I don't mind, I honestly, I work out everyday when I don't feel like it. So I kind out every day when I don't feel like it. So I kind of have the same mindset when it comes to sex. So I'll just do it. I'm like, even if I'm not in the mood to do it, it's like, what am I going to be pissed that I had sex

when it's over? You know, so at this, but I've only been married for however long. So. Yeah, I'm afraid my wife's going to be like, ugh, fuck. Why? What's wrong? I didn't want to do this. No. Yeah, you I'm afraid my wife's gonna be like, fuck why? What's wrong? I didn't want to do this. No. I was going to make dinner. You know, and here's another thing to having a kid that that you know, this eight year old who is

constantly, especially an only child, right is my dad, my dad, my dad. I mean, I was walking out today and I, he was on the couch his feet were up by the kitchen and it looked, I mean, he looked like, I mean, like an aborigini. Fucking foot was so dirty. I go, what do you, and he was right on the pillow. I go, I put my face on that pillow. I go wash your feet.

He goes, I will later. I go, I'm taking away everything. Now, if you don't go wash your feet, he goes, I will later. I go, I'm taking away everything. Now. If you don't go wash your feet right now. And he went, what do you mean everything? Everything. I did a Gary Olbert. Everything!

I was so fucking mad. And he went and he was cleaning his feet. And it's like, it's constant. It's like he's there. Something is, he's, so it's like, by the constant. It's like he's there. Something is, so it's like, by the, she goes to bed with him. I come home, she's wiped. I'm ready to go, because I'm a lay.

But then I'm like, fuck it, I go to sleep. And then we wake up and he's there. We gotta bring, and then I come in, and it's like, there's no time. Right. And it's like, okay, what are we gonna afternoon, fuck, you know, I don't know about that. I think that's the best time. Because you're like a certain point, no. It's the best time. You're like a certain point though.

It's fucking afternoon. But isn't there a certain point where you're not really even that stressed about how much sex you're having? You're really just stressed that you don't want to fuck as much as you used to. I think there's something, I'm like, I just got my testosterone checked and it's low. So I have to go see this lady and maybe have to get testosterone again. That might be like a real thing. But why? Why would you need? Why would you need more? Because you're supposed to have your testosterone in a certain spot. And what? To fuck to have energy, to

remember. Right. To, you know, and it's like you can take a lot of guys take testosterone now and they get back to where they were on their 30s. Right. You know, and you- Andi's staying the fuck away from that. Why? He is not allowed to have more. Oh, did you have a lot of testosterone? Yeah.

What do you mean? He has like high testosterone. He does? Yeah. It seems very effem. Dude, I'm telling you, behind his eye, look at Andy when he's sitting in a, in the corner. Can you bring up Andy's photo? When you see Andy sitting at the table in the corner when a bunch of comics are talking and laughing,

look at Andy's face. Oh, we're going to bring it up. What is it? I think I've seen this. I've seen this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's not blinking. He's so manly he's staring. He's gazing. He's staring off.

Yeah. Oh, that one in the bottom. The bottom. Right there. That one. No, which one? Which one? No, it's more like that.

It's the one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Left left left left right yeah, that's him go zoom in on that That make that the biggest you can look at the one underneath it. See bring a scarf. Oh my this is IMDB picture. Wow Yeah, that's him. Oh, I see it now. You know what I'm saying? Oh God, it's fucking frightening I mean, he's looking into my soul right now. He just called me a pussy, and he fucked my mom in front of me. And he's finger-fucking-my-wife. He's like Bradley Cooper in wedding. He'll say some of the meanest shit. Like, we'll just be driving, and I'll mention somebody.

And he'll say the meanest thing about the part, he'll be like, you know, they seem like they were forced to rub their mother's feet a lot. Like, it's just so specific. I love the fucking American psycho shit. Is that, does he have good business cards? to rub their mother's feet a lot. Like it's just so specific. It's a little like American psychoshit. Is that, is that, is he have good business cards? Like what the fuck dude?

It's crazy. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's so, like he's thought about it. You know what I mean? He's like built a case. And I'm just like, Jesus Christ.

Like I'm mean. But like Andy, Andy's got a real, I think he's got a real psychoside to him. I think if I, I think if but like Andy, Andy's got a real, I just got a real psychoside to him. I think if I, I think if I divorced Dawn, are we gonna separate it, I would become a sexual freak. Like I would move to Key West.

What is this episode turning into? It's just your dreams of divorce. No, I'm saying that I would, it keeps going back to the, I would probably become a swinger. I'd, I get it like a middle-aged chick with like, you know, and I'd just be like, let's just bang out the couples. You would live in Calta's Bullhouse.

And go to like some fucking stupid, what's that guy that sings that everybody loves the Maggaritaville, what's his name? Jimmy Buffett. Yeah, just become a Buffett fan. What are they called as a parade? Yeah, become a parade that just fucking out the parade. What's the community in Florida where all the old people go? They just made a documentary about it on Hulu. ¿Qué es la comunidad de Florida donde todos los los gente se han ido? Ellos han ido a la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la gente de la a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Sarifa sujeta a su disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.

Salatari. No. No. Petsa. Yeah, me. Yeah, me. That was the funniest thing you've ever set on this podcast. Thank you.

The funniest quickest thing I've ever heard you say, gravar. Oh. This is... This isn't it. Make sure they come out talking about. There's a documentary that just came out. Yeah. It's like a bunch of people that live in Florida

that like go there to fuck each other after their significant others have died, right? Really? Yeah, that's so funny. Yeah, yeah, it's like a, it's like a, I want to watch that. It's so good. There's like this one guy who's just,

he's trying drugs for the first time and he's just become a full-blown drug addict He drives around this golf course on mushrooms and peyote and he stands on the middle of a storm And he's like I am a golden god and then like his wife He's like hey, I'm worried about you and he's like I'm gonna go jerk off don't come in here Just thinking of jerking off and not coming in here. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Jim. No, what a perfect time. Hey. I'm on the ropes.

Yeah, come on in. Put your headphones, the headphones are right underneath. Where are they? Get Gabby on this camera over here. On the floor. Right there. How are you doing, buddy? Good.

I was just talking, we started out talking about how the roles have reversed with women. Like it used to be, like we were the misogynistic, fuck, we just want to fuck and leave. And they were like, well, I was, you know, look in my eyes, tell me you love me. And it's totally different now. Women just want to bang and they want to fuck.

Not in my life, they don't. But what are you talking about? That never happens. That's their hookers. Are they all like that? No, that's what this is. I mean, younger, I would imagine the next generation which she's in and she's definitely in.

I'm not, I'm kind of on the cusp, you know? I tell you, if I was telling them, if I, if me and Dawn divorced, I would go, I would do some weird shit. I go and, I just go move to some weird Florida place. I don't even think you'd be like prepared, Bobby. I don't even, it's a fucking wild, it's crazy out there. Like there's like people that are talking about

ethical non-monogamy now. They're like, everyone's fucking poly. They're all like, What's ethical non-monogamy? It's not the relationship. It's just called like, just cheat. I'm like, just cheat on each other. Yeah.

That's called Florida. Like grown adults. Yeah'm like just cheat on each other. Yeah, like a floor like grown adults. Yeah, but they're not doing that. They're like, they're like, oh no, it's better to like tell your partner when you're about to go fuck somebody. I'm like, are you kidding me? I would show up with a gun. Yeah, like you wouldn't let Andy,

you would get mad. Abs of fucking looting. No, really? No, I'd rather he cheat on me. I really would. I'd be like, just cheat and don't fucking tell me. Do not talk to me about, oh, I'm feeling attracted to this person and like, we're secure enough.

I am not secure enough. I will fucking kill you and her. I don't want to know about it. I didn't think I was like a jealous person for a long time. And then like, the more I just hadn't like been with somebody that I really was like Loved yeah, right. I like it in theory like I like that in theory like

One girl I dated we got like a male escort to come over and she blew them in front of me And it was kind of hot But it got weird after like I had jealous like the third time we did it cuz she yeah I did I was like whenever one of us wants to end it the experience we got to end the experience That's cuz she made you leave the room. Yeah, she did it. Cause she, I was like, whenever one of us wants to end it, the experience, we gotta end the experience. That's cause she made you leave the room. Yeah, she did it. She did it while I was in LA. She did it for free.

Yeah. Yeah. It fucked up. Yeah, it went to Sonic. And then when your feelings get hurt, you can't bring it up cause you're like, you're like, oh, well, I said I was cool with this. So now, but now I'm not, and this fucking sucks.

Yeah, oh no, she knew I was pissed, but I didn't like that she shouldn't have gotten mad at me. She got mad at me for getting mad. So she shouldn't have gotten mad at me for getting like a little hurt about it, and we would have worked through it. But by then, I think we were kind of finished anyway. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's reaching, that's reaching a little bit.

Yeah, she not reached farther, yet a giant dick. That's a pretty, he had a big kiss. He took it out with you like, no, we knew before he got there, it was like, yeah, that was what you know. She picked it, yep. Oh, I think. It looked like.

I mean, he was Brazilian I think. Oh boy, it was uncircumceless. I believe so. I had a pretty, he had a tan, yeah, very tan. She had a it was uncircumst. I believe so. I had a pretty many. He had a tan, yeah, very tan. She had a shuffle it out for a couple minutes, yeah. Yeah, and then pop the helmet out. He was like someone watching something

like a big fat poster out for the first time. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I could do swinging with another, like I believe there's people that you are sexually supposed to just fuck. You guys aren't supposed to date, you're not supposed to get married, you're supposed to meet and fuck. Cause there's people that I've, in my life, I've been with that it is just the sexual connection is nuts. And I would do anything with them.

I don't care, I'll go wherever the fuck they wanna go. I will go. There's been a few women in my life like that. My wife is not anything with them. I don't care, wherever the fuck they want to go, I will go. There's been a few women in my life like that. My wife is not one of them. I love having sex with my wife. We have a, it's good, but it's not that weird fucked up shit. Yeah. Where I go to another planet.

Right. You know what I mean? Well, you can't have sex like that with someone after they've made, you've seen a person come out of them, you know? No matter what. Well, I think that's like that. I think there's some guy, or in my case that you've seen a person come out of them, you know, no matter what. I don't think that's like that. I think there's some guy, or in my case,

that you've seen a person go into them. Yeah. Yeah. The feeder still in sterile. You're the fastest. There's nobody fast in the gymnasium. I mean, literally nobody. Like, he's a fucking gunslinger.

Right, son of a bitch. Yeah, I don't think, like with these women that I've been with, I'm like, I've literally said I love you. And then not seeing them again. Like there's some sexual love. It's not, you know, and with my wife, we have good sex when we have sex, but you know, I'm sure we'll get back into it later in life.

I can kind of feel it happening now where he's getting old or he's going away. We're having more time together where it's like, okay, it's things to start to rev up again. Yeah. But there's, I believe there's certain people that you meant to fuck with. And you can, you'll do weird crazy shit with, I'm glad I didn't do weird shit at the beginning with Dawn because she'd, I'd feel weird now that we have a kid and she put shampoo bottles in my household

and every time we're in the shower, she's like, remember that, it's fucking sick. I'm like, you never wrote my face in the carpet anymore. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Yeah, there's certain things. There's someone else. But I'm also nervous too, that I'm going to find out in like, you know, a couple of years, you know, she's like, listen, man, I got to go. Why? Because I want to be fucking beaten up.

And I want my ass fucked. And you don't do it, push boy. And she's just her and Max have walking out with suitcases. She's outside and brought those back. Yeah, she's Louis Gomez picks them up. Max is like, mom's's brought those back. Yeah, she's Louis Gomez picks them up. I'm actually like mom's gonna get fucked. Yeah. It was like yo, Bob. He's still trying to book you on Skankfest, though. Are you going to Skankfest? I'm not. I had a makeup day. I can't. I'm on my way. Book somewhere. Yeah. Because I want my

day side to makeup. Yeah. I don't know why I had to explain what make up dates are. You gotta, we did. Yeah. Yeah, I do remember those, you guys remember the one, to me there's always been two people in my life that I had sex with. And it was the best experience. I mean, I connected with these people from the second

I touched hands with them. Yeah. I was like, oh fuck. Yeah. This is some shit. And I'm like, I still think of them like, oh my God. If I see them now, it would be hard for me not to want to be physical. Did you like the person out in my case? The guy was a fucking he was gross too. Like he was a pig. I was like, you're disgusting. I was like, I don't like the way you look. You know what I mean?

But God, he was like. Yeah, sexually. Yeah. Yeah, people, you know, certain people, I had a cup I had won that was a fucking nightmare to deal with. I mean a nightmare. Like emotionally, she would drive me to the brink of just fucking, I wanted to never talk to her again.

Yeah. Yeah, I meant one time, she handcuffed me and we were doing this weird shit and she pissed me. She was just an asshole. Yeah. And I remember I handcuffed her and left her in my room. This went in the other room and watched TV. She was so mad.

But as soon as I let her go, we just, it's just a steepen-hig novel. Yeah. As soon as I let her go, we just kid- It's a steepen-hig novel. Yeah, as soon as I let her go, we fuck like, oh my God. Like she fucking grabbed me and it was like, wow sex. Yeah. But she scratched me, we went to get food. Oh, yeah. She was like, I want cookies.

I was like, I'm gonna get you cookies. She's like, I want them now. You just fucking touch them in her face. I'm like, I'm gonna get you fucking cookies, relax. And she went fucking, she scratched my face because I want them now. And I was like, oh, gonna get you fucking cookies, relax. And she went fuck, she scratched my face, she goes, I want him now. And I was like, oh, I want a fucking hit. Yeah, but that's the same thing, that same mentality

that makes somebody fun like that. Can I look back at some of those crazy ones and I go, I wish I, you know, I still get off to them and I'm like, no, but you didn't want that. Like when you were with them, you liked it, but you didn't pursue it because there was other stuff that came with it. Like, you know, I mean, most,

a lot of people who are stable won't do certain things that are fun. Like they're always good dirty talkers, always. Looner ticks are always great, dirty talk because there's no inhibitions. But that's the same thing that will cause somebody to fucking scream in a parking lot.

You know what I mean? The same thing. So we'll cook, yeah. Yeah, no, there is a, it's almost like a spell, like a witch's spell that as soon as you're away from them, you're like, what the fuck was I thinking? What am I doing?

But if you get in there or orbit, you get sucked in again. It's like, I have no control. I have to, you asking if the personality, if you like their personality, does not even matter. No, I feel like when I have a, you asking if the personality, if you like their personality, does not even matter? Yeah, no, I feel like when I have a really good sex with someone when it's like the immediate connection, their personality is kind of suck. Yeah, no, I hated this guy. Yeah, I hated him.

Yes, fucking hated him. Why is that the why? He was absolutely, every fucking thing out of his mouth was a lie and like I knew it was a lie and I just didn't care. I was just like, I already know your line so I don't care enough to correct you. Right. You know what I mean?

It doesn't matter to me because you really just fuck me good and I don't care about anything else. Like he would be, he's like the kind of guy where he was like, yeah, it was meant to be. And I was like, no, we're not. We're definitely not. You ride a motorcycle. And I hate that I'm attracted to that.

You know what I mean? I hate that I'm into that right now. You know? I was like, he was just like this fucking like upstate New York piece of fucking shit pig, ugly faced fucker. And he fucked so good. Rosemite wants to fuck him tonight.

Like if I saw, it's like, I like, I'm ashamed that I fucked him, but it was like really good. You sound like every girl I've ever dated. Except for that he was good part. You're a good layman. Okay. No dude, you know why you're good? You try.

You put in the effort. Yeah, yeah, you put in the- You guys haven't experienced good? You try. You put in the effort. Yeah, yeah. You put in the- You guys haven't experienced? Oh, well. I've heard about. Well, Bobby sounds like he's, like he's consoling you after sex.

I think Bob has interviewed girls that I fucked afterwards. How was it? Well, he tried. No, we've been around the same people early in our, yeah, yeah. He's, you know what I mean? Sure, yeah.

He's, you're a, you're're you're I remember you told me something about What do you mean you try like what do you like stretch before? I do tongue exercises. No, he was he taught me he gave me great advice on going down on a girl really oh fucking epic. Yeah, I told him he's like I just take the jeans off. He was like oh I'm like, fuck it, Abby. I told him, he's like, I'm like, just take the jeans off. He was like, oh, he was, he was, he was licking with the jeans. He took a long time.

Just a lot breath through the jeans. Which actually works, by the way, chicks love this. They love it. It just feels like a fucking husky breathing on you. He taught me this one move, I remember, and he was like, I forget a little bit of it. I don't know, with this little,

no, what I do is when I'm eating pussy, I make a Michael Jackson noise into it, I go, woohoo! Beepie! Beepie! Yeah, and then they just... And they pretend to come and leave. I suck.

Ah! It's the worst thing I ever heard. Yeah, yeah, it's back. Ah! Yeah, it's, yeah, sex is... There's one thing that sucks too, is that knowing that I'm 50 now, and I'm married and yes

I probably have maybe 10 more years of banging Mm-hmm, but there's a time where sex is gonna be done Yeah, that's like no, that's not true though people get so fucking horned up when they're old. Yeah What are you talking about? Yeah, they do there's so many STDs. They're in nursing homes. That's a huge high Are you kidding me? Yeah, it's true. Rear. It's the highest percentage of what is it? Veneriel disease in Florida or something? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. No, they're fucking.

That's I didn't know that. That's crazy. Yeah, because they don't wear condoms because I don't worry about it. Because they're going to be dead in five. Yeah. Exactly. So they all get like an itch till I die. Yeah. Oh, well, just a bunch of weird fucking babies with hair lips at the dropping off our front. Oh, bring this to the church. Glad us just shit on another one.

It's just a bag of stem cells that don't work. It comes out liquid form. You got to put a condom on your both fall asleep. It's just too long. Yeah. Or old fox. Oh, that's fucking weird. I didn't know that.

So I'll be banging later in life. Yeah, no, apparently it gets crazy. Oh my God. All right, well listen, we're gonna go to an extra hour right now. Can you hang out for a minute? No, I have to go in a minute because I have stuff I'm food being made downstairs. All right, well listen Jim,

but I'll stay for a minute. Are you gonna come on next week? Yeah, I think we're off next week, so I'll be able to stay up later. All right, so we're gonna go YKWD, you said it's an hour, right Nicole? Yes, no, we're at 50. Sorry Nicole, don't think me the 50,

just send me the hour. So you look good. It looks great, right? Yeah, it sounds good too. Yeah, it sounds great. We finally got the lighting is great. Awesome. Everything is moving.

I'm glad it's so glad to be back in studio. You guys back yet? No, September, but who knows with the Delta variant? If we'll be back or not, I don't know. I'm so sad that we're gonna have to talk about this shit again. I know, I know, I know. But I mean, hopefully we'll be back. We're trying to go back sooner than September.

A friend of mine got Corona. He was fully vaccinated. I haven't heard any of these Corona in so long. Fully vaccinated. Yeah. He said Corona for 21 days. Wow. Fuck. He sickers. He just happened. He's sick. You know, he has the sniffles, headaches. The only thing it doesn't have is the fever and we're in a immune system.

He's got the fucking vaccine and 21 day Corona. What? Which of us? Huh? Which of us? He got the which V and 21 day corona. Yeah. What, which of that? He got the, which Vax. Yeah. Which Vax. Actually, it must be AstraZeneca. It's the first shot of AstraZeneca problem. It was, what's the, the visor? Fizer.

Fizer. The visor. The visor, the visor, uh, visor. So it's, uh, it's just sucks though, because now. I'm hearing a shitload of people who are getting it after getting vaccinated had Pfizer, like a shitload. Yeah, I heard Pfizer, Moderna is turning out to be the one to get.

Yeah, fuck. Cause I don't know, I got Moderna, thank God. My wife got Pfizer. Mm-hmm, shit. Yeah. And we're gonna have to, if I have to do comedy clubs with mass on again, I'm gonna fucking, I know.

Just looking at high-distance. I didn't get out, I just go up and down. I'm just gonna punch myself. It's gonna suck. Fight and I'm gonna, I just gotta nurse the piss of my mouth. That's what's changed. I'm so uncalled for. I know, what is it?

What is it doing? Just trying to think of an awful way to get a vaccine, and that would probably be the worst. You know, filter it through hot nurse piss. Just dehydrated. Yeah. Having sipped water in eight hours shift piss. Yeah.

It's just, it's so embarrassing when you say something it doesn't work and then people know that's just a thing that was just in your head. No, it's been in my life. It's just your whole, no, it's been in his mouth. Yeah. It's been back there. Yeah, but no one says, like, oh, he's been in my life. It's just your whole, no, it's been in his mouth. It's been back there. Yeah, but Norton says he, like, oh, he's actually drunk piss. So he knows what I mean.

Yeah, no. That's the best description ever when you said it. It's like, it does. But yeah, if I had never heard Norton and you showed me a picture of him, I'd be like, that guy's drunk piss before. Yeah, he knew. What?

If you just showed me a picture of him. Really? If I saw Nordic, I'd be like, he drinks piss. Yeah. I wouldn't think that. If I saw Norden and I, and I know who he was and I just saw the picture of him, I would think locksmith. Yeah, who drinks piss. Yeah, but I would think Uncle, Uncle locksmith comes over, unlocks you door, how about you pissing a cup for me? Yeah. Real quick. Yeah, we're a good girl.

I want to, I haven't had a long time, that was an old fetish thing. It was like, I really haven't in years. Do you mind, can we, can we, can I ask you a question about that? Jazz? What was the, when you, when you look, I want to drink piss, how did you get to the point where I'm going to do this? And what was the first sip of piss? Hard to say, the want to drink piss. How did you get to the point where I'm gonna do this and what was the first sip of piss? Hard to say the first sip of piss

First of all if that's not net your next album. I don't know First sip of this should be your next album and was it a sip or was it more? No open your throat. It's a great question. It was a Fuckin Leonardo Machito. It was a sneaky mouthful. I thought you were a sneaky mouthful. I was a boy And I used to blow the bully Who was your older than me and this is how young I was I didn't realize in the public We're in a public pool and so I went underwater and I sucked his dick underwater But I didn't know that people could see what I was doing. I didn't know I was there. You didn't know water was clear

I was stupid. I was young and he pissed in my mouth. He pissed in my mouth. What a bully. I know. We're real jerk. And then I came back up. And this is I'm just, I'm talking to me, not learning. And I'm like, don't do that. He's like, I won't do it. And I went back down. He did it again. He got me twice. He held me twice. He held it. What advice did your dad give you? He had to become a gun. That's so fucking mean. Hey, don't do that. Here's some, here's some gum and the gun go go on the garage.

Just eat one of them. Oh Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. There's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no man. That's so, come on next week. Yeah, come on next week. Okay. I'd like you to tell us more about, because I think it's interesting how to get into fetishes. You know, and there's a line that once you cross it you really can't come back until you Complete it, but you also get normalized after that too like the fetish becomes weird like there was one girl

But I did everything like every fetish and then the high became like when we would fuck I would talk about making space for her in my drawers like in the drawers like that's what I'm talking about That's that's full circle full circle That's what I'm talking about when when you're like oh, we're actually going to connect yeah the turn then it's like because you get through all the The kinky shit and then you're like I wonder what would it feel like to emotionally open up to somebody like that's a fucked up thing Yeah, it was like oh she's gonna stay here now like it just became the next inappropriate Yeah, how I met her was weird like you know, I mean it was like We can the next inappropriate because how I met her was weird. Like, you know what I mean?

It was like, loving stuff can kind of outweigh the sexual stuff. If you've done all the sexual stuff, then it's like, well, you still need the drip, the drip, you know. Yeah, the drip. So a drip, right? You're most, yeah, no. I was old hat with us. Yeah, Jim Norton, everybody.

See you later. I'll see you later, brother. The next week was by Rosebite. Bye, Jim. We're going to go right now to the extra YKWD. Make sure you check out Jim and Sam in the morning on serious satellite radio. It is one of the funniest shows on serious satellite.

And it's on every day, I believe from eight to 11 on the raw dog channel. Check that out and of course Jim Norton. He's one of the fastest, funniest, most honest, open person in the world and he knowing him made my comedy a hundred percent better because I did not feel bad saying shit on stage. Right, it's like he's the kind of,

he's like sets the bar, you know? You're like, oh, if you can say that It's just like look man. It is what it is right. Yeah, you know, what was I think like nobody Everybody's fucked up and the people that aren't fucked up are just better at hiding their fucked up shit right We all have shit. I Gabby. What do you got? Follow me on Instagram at gags Brian fingers I got witch hands got pretty big witch Brian. I got weird line fingers. I got witch hands, got pretty big witch hands. I'm in Chicago this weekend, Thursday through Sunday.

I'm opening for Andy on Sunday. Oh yeah, yeah. That could be so fun. Zanies is amazing. I've never been there before, so I'm excited. And then I'm opening for Julian McCullough on Friday and then I'm at Lafak Drain Zanies. Julian Zanies.

And so funny. Moosh, what do you got? I'll be with Janice Popus, Swordsie of the Month of August at Lafayette, San Antonio, which was the week after at Crigan the Cave in Austin. And I will be, oh, I'll be with you the most important guy, Moch, Providence for Ireland.

And I'll be with you at the side splinters in September. Let's not get carried away, okay? No, I'm kidding,, yes you will be. Joe Russell's here, joke, joke Russell. What's up buddy? Check out the cheese show, it's on YouTube. And it's an unbelievable little show that him and his girlfriend, AK wife, AK Hamface, Olivia put together.

And it is fucking wonderful. I love it. I watch every single one of them. Go to YouTube, check out the cheese show, like wonderful. I love it. I watch every single one of them. Go to YouTube, check out the cheese show, like it, subscribe to it. We're trying to get them over a thousand followers, getting people into the show and then maybe try to get it somewhere on TV or something, but they put a lot of work into it. It's very fun and it's about cheese. Who the fuck doesn't like cheese? And make sure you go. We have a ladybug here tonight. Sarah, one of the ladybugs is here.

Hi Sarah, how are you? You wanna come over and look at me if we're real quick in the camera so they can be jealous. Look at this dress. Yeah. Fuck around, say hi, right there. Hi, over there, right there, there's your camera.

Right here, look at here, look great tonight. Yeah, my God, wonder if me and you would be good like together. Bobby, just, what? Can you please? I'm sorry, you told. I wonder if me and you would be good like together. Bobby, just what? Can you please, I'm sorry. You told me to do that. Your eyes the whole time. You said that's what you like.

Just like in front of everyone. You said do that. It's like right here. Oh God. It's scary. It's really a lot. Oh my. Sorry.

I thought you wanted me to do that. It's just a lot. If I just grabbed about here. Oh, no. Sorry, you guys, no, not you. Other guys. I wanted me to do that. That's just a lot. If I just grabbed about the hair. Oh, wow. Sorry, you guys, no, not you. Oh, they're guys. Bobby gets his like leery like,

I don't have leery. Yes, you do. I do. You do. You're gonna go. What do you have for most? Oh, I have, well, I'm gonna, can I just plug the podcast for now?

Yeah, please. Yeah, I have a big announcement coming up next. This, yeah, you gotta go back on. Yeah, I want you and Andy on next time. Okay, all right. We should have done it the other way around, but anyway, what doesn't matter? Um, I, what Andy and you?

No, I mean, it doesn't matter. Yes. So, listen to the podcast, we have a podcast together, me and my husband, who we have spent a lot of time shitting on this during this month. We love them though. But it's a good podcast and it's really fun. It's silly.

It's called Find Your Beach. And so listen to that wherever you get your podcasts. And my website rosebudbaker.com. And make sure you check out Andy. He is his comedy is fucking really. I mean, he's all right. Well, we don't have to we don't have to plug Andy. Oh my God.

So we can just, you know, wow, Andy, I'm so sorry. He'll come on and we can do that. Oh my God. He's gonna be at Zaini's this weekend though. Okay, find your beach right there. We'll put back it in hands. Make sure you check them out and check me out. Make sure right now, subscribe on YouTube.

Hit that subscribe button. I want to thank all the subscribers that have done it. I appreciate it and hit the like button. I want to thank all the subscribers that have done it. I appreciate it and hit the like button Also go to patreon.com. Sash rubber Kelly. We're gonna go on overtime right now over time YKWD where we go and we we do the The names we're gonna talk about a few things with Rosebud That I want to bring up that she has no idea about really yeah that I want to bring up that she has no idea about. Really?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we're going to talk about. Spill the tea. And we're going to spill the tea. As fans of Drag Race would say. And if you want to be part of that, go to patreon.com, slash Robert Kelly.

Right there, become a member, become a dude, an excellent dude, an ultimate dude, all kinds of different levels to join up and support my channel, support all the stuff I'm doing. And yeah, we got the audio video dude, the ultimate dude. I mean, we had somebody guest dude, when is he coming? We had somebody who's coming in.

Whenever he's in New York, he's gonna let us know. Awesome, and then we had a hundred dollars. What are we giving him? We have to do his readies, and I sent it to me tomorrow, he said. Awesome, we'll record it. Yeah, dude, if you get read. He's gonna send it to me tomorrow, he said. Awesome, but record it. Yeah, dude, if you get a small business and you want us to plug you,

all you gotta do is become a small business dude and we will do it. And if you wanna be a guest on the podcast, Hwabang, right up there, you can do that. Wow, yeah. 500 a month. Yeah, he did, he's coming in, I love it. That's great.

And, fucking big bucks. So make sure you go there. And also my dates, Robert Kettle Live dot com. I am going to be this weekend at Vesonis in Port Charlotte, Florida. My cult is going to be the number one best friend. I can't wait Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And then the, I'm going on vacation for a week to the white mountains of New Hampshire. Then I come back and me and mushing on to be in Rhode Island at an awesome club, one of my favorites, the comedy connection in Rhode Island.

And then I'm going to punchline Philly, which is going to be epic. So please look out on all my social media and make sure you share my shit. Share it. Hit the share, but don't be fun. Don't cover your share button. I hate people. You're gonna share button and you don't hit it. You like it, you watch it and you just, you know what you're fucking. Leave it. Yeah, share it. Get it out there if you live in Philly, share it and go to comicwearables.com to get all your comic wearable stuff. You got culture and Kelly, you got the dance soda shirt, Irish Robert Kelly, you got the

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and of course the YKWD hat, the retro logo, get some of that shit. Go there right now, use code word ladybug. Shh. And you get 20% off. Don't tell anybody. Okay, don't tell anybody. There we go, that's it right much.

I did everything. Boboom, support our sponsors too. Oh yeah, let's do the names. Let's get some names going. Let's go, let's do some names. I've got a name. We're gonna do some names. These are people who join Patreon.

The $10 people get a little extra. So if you get a little extra Joe, you want to help with the $10. Oh, I'll do a $10. I'll do the five. You want to do a $10 rosebud that's fantastic. There's a euro. Oh, a euro. I'll let me do that one. That's not a euro. That's a pound. Oh, dummy. How can you eat it? Fucking stupid bitch. Just kidding. I'm a like kidding. I'm not. I really like you guys.

I love you. All right, let's go. Go ahead. Go ahead. 10 dollar one. First one. Me? Yes.

I wanted to do the pound one because I'm not a pronounce this name. Justin Niffke. Oh, that was good. Niffke. You're going to give me something extra though. Niffke. There you go. I like that. Do that. Do you want more time. Niffke. You got to give him something extra. Niffke. There you go. I like that. Do that. Give him one more time.

All right. Go ahead, Joe. All right. Up next with 10 pounds is Rosky. That sucked. Fuck. It's okay. Go ahead and try it again. Rosky. Rosky. It's hard to say rosky in an Irish accent. I have to work raw in it.

Oh, Dublin. I can go down to Dublin and get rosky. That's good. I like that. Rosks. All right. What about the J? It's just a J. Yo J, Jimmy Jam. Jizzy jizz jizz. Jizzy jam. Jimmy Jam. Jimmy Jam. Giving 10 bucks. Welcome to the show, J J. J. J. We got Crimson Crenzy. Oh, the Crimson Crenzy. Crenzy. Crenzy. Crenzel. Crenzel. Crenzel. Crenzel and Gretel. Crimson Crinsel. Crenzy. And we get a $5 Chrissy cry.

Yes. Car. Car. Car. Car. What is it? I'll admit Batman. What? I'll admit Batman. Batman. Batman. What the fuck is that? I said the Val Kilmer doc. It's unbelievable. Oh, is it? It's so good? I can't wait to see it Is it sad? It's sad. Sad. Well, he's got a yeah, he talks like that

He's got a trake. Yeah, he's traked. Oh shit. It's the bummer, but it's a beautiful film Wait, I gotta go back. What was the other one? Oh Batman super I admit Batman for a superman song I gotta go back. What was the other one? Oh Batman Super. I admit Batman for a Superman song. That was a pretty good man. That was a fun name. That is a fun name.

And Ava, Ava, Biva, Ava, Bava, Bava, Bava. I was like, Ava, Ava, Ava, Ava, Ava. Hey, hey, hey, hava. You have to tan your stomach. I know. Well, you know what it is? You look like an Oreo cookie. It's an appetizer. I know, well, you know what it is? You look like an Oreo cookie. It's an apple one. I went to the dermatologist and she said I have six weeks to live.

So really? Wow. So fucked up. So not true. No, I got to go back in October. Can we get another park hang? It was, we can do one more. And uh...

I don't get invited to the park hangs. He fucked up. Why did I fuck up? He fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up. Did I stop getting invited to the fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up. Did I stop getting invited to the park hang? We haven't got a park hang in a while.

No, you haven't invited me to a park. I never get invited. That's right. What the fuck confidence shit is that? Why? No, because first of all, they've gotten a little smaller. The last one. I should go.

Wow, so I have stopped getting invited. No, you didn't come last time. You fucked me last time I'm not a fuck me no I was out of town. No you said you were coming you guys canceled I'll pull up a text right now you canceled Stephen Caitlin and you and Andy both can't all the couples can't you invited Rosebud before me I'm way better and I'm who the live and what is it you can you see me? Who's Stephen nobody wants leave Rogers and Caitlin blue book. But it wants to sunblock your head in a park.

Listen, okay? You, first of all, this was many weeks ago. It was small. You live in West. It doesn't matter. It's 30 minutes from now. It was a Sunday day. You wouldn't have come.

It doesn't matter. Like Conquid said, I get the invite. But you came. I earned the invite. But you, I, earned the invite. But you came before, you were very upset. You're, you're very mean about it, even right now. Can I say why? I got balloons.

You said balloon, look for the balloon. It was a foot off the fuck around. It was a tweenie bird balloon. It was very low. I fucked up. That I fucked up. Okay, so it's your fault. So we start fresh. Why did you guys use next park hang? You're in. Thank you. Okay, so it's your fault. So we start fresh. Why did you buy us next park hang?

You're in. Thank you. Imagine you're, oh, this Val. Do I get to come back? Yes, you're in, you're on the list. You're invited. Val looks like an old Indian woman now. Dude, he looks a fucking

a dungeon teller in Mexico. Ah, man, it's so good. He lives in New Mexico. Does it? It's not a big sense. It's good though that he. Why does he look like he used to be such a fucking memory in the doors? Remember when he was in the doors?

God, he was so fucking hot. I would watch that movie every night in high school. Well, Iceman, he was like the hottest. Absolutely, exploring. I mean, real genius was this, I one of my favorite movies ever. Top secret is great. There's a funny up, there's a funny up.

Oh, so fun. That's so weird. Is that a burp of farder, Von? It was a, it was a whole thing, but the smell is wild. You guys should get some. It's really insane. That's the sky. I almost threw up. That's fair to me. I almost threw up. That was bad. I've never seen your little thin lips do some things at once. That was so fucking gross. It was really weird. When I smell it. Oh my god. What do we eat? What happened? Chicken bar. It's chicken bar. I thought you were going vegetarian. It smells like you ate food. I was vegetarian. Sip the water. Get that out of the room. You got to

do us a favor and put water on. Oh my god. my god getting like notes of a tire You got it you gotta wash your mouth out I tried both these look at this. Well drink that one to The dermatologist run have a week. I'm not miles. It came from the gut I have a reflex issue you have you have good you have good you're a guard. You're I have good. I do have good I know you do I can smell it lazy come on. Oh my God. You've it smells like a foot You gotta sip that It looks like claymation when you did it. Take your t-shirt wipe your teeth off. It's it's fine. It's gonna be okay It was a burger. It passed wow. It's on into the

Maybe cry a little bit the environment. Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I'm sorry. All right, so now I'm gonna have a barbecue. Yes, I'd love to come. I have a car I'll drive right up there. I never get invited to your shit. This is gonna get weird. Come on, let's all take a breath. What are you talking about?

I never get invited to your shit. We've only become friends in this last year. Yeah, I know, it's crazy. I expected invite invites like two years ago. We didn't even know each other. We knew each other. We knew each other, but know, it's crazy. I expected invites like two years ago. But we didn't even know each other. We knew each other. We knew each other, but like, what's up? What's up?

No, I actually never would have assumed that you would invite me to be thinking. I mean, you're invited now, you and Andy. Yeah, you invited us up over the pandemic. Yeah, of course you and Andy can come up. I thought we were gonna do a whole thing. No, you and Andy can come up. Yeah.

You and Andy. All right. Yeah, both and Andy. All right. Yeah, both of you. Why, why, why do I have? I don't want you individually coming to my house. Why? I don't want you alone at my house. Max loves me.

What Max loves me. Max loves Gabby. Weird. He knows Gabby better. Does he think you're Ari? Yeah. It is. Same look as Dick. When you brought Max to the seller for Rachel's,. Does he think you're Ari? Yeah When you brought Max to the seller for Rachel's

He thought you a Gabby he didn't What do you get mad at me? You can say not because Gabby's really hot, but like I No Larry bird Your mind that one's true. You're out your Gabby's a fucking stone cold Whatever she's a Jersey six. We all know it Jersey time people pay for her lips. Okay So did she No, I did it. Did you

There's Larry you got you know, I did it. That's Gabby right there. Gabby bird That looks like me a little bit Listen, if somebody doesn't photoshop if someone punched me square in the face and my face like me a little bit. Listen, if somebody doesn't photo shop, if someone punched me square in the face and my face went in a little bit, come on, Gabby. You got a shit stash to her. Is that's that's literally what they have to convince themselves. You look like not right me.

So that yes, I'm looking right at it. That Bobby doesn't constantly just scan your body. No, he thinks I'm physically disgusting. Gabby should be hanging out in front of a convenience store in Jersey with another guy that doesn't talk. Gabby Bird. That's pretty on the money.

That's pretty on the money. All right. So I'm getting invited. Are you doing it again? No, I had a little clearance, I had a clear. I'm gonna get an invite. Next part, Kang, yeah. We were supposed to go camping next week. I know

I got some I got my schedule's a little What about September? Can we go on September? That'd be late September. I'm doing this whole thing. Yeah late September Be nice and cool. I like that. I would like to I really want to camp and I'm gonna need a little thing because I got this thing and I got a We're gonna do some bushcraft party boys late September when you're done. I would like that. I will do that. You can't come.

Why? Because it's bushcraft party boy and one girl and one girl. We can have two girls. Who's Sarah? Sarah. But Andy loves camping. That's like his thing. That's gonna be four boys and two.

I mean, it's gonna be too many sandwiches. He loves camping. You don't camp. Yeah, but I like friends. I like friendship. Well, let's do comedy camp. Let's do comedy camp again. All right, I'll do comedy camp again.

You wanna do comedy camp? We're gonna rent you, it's a place you can go. I got a new place, by the way, Yogi Bear. And we'll rent out, we go up, we rent out three spots for tents, and then we rent out one cabin. It's intense. That was actually really good.

That was really good. I like that. You want to do that? Yeah, but it does feel like a consolation prize. But I have to get mush's own cabin, because he fucking literally wakes up hibernating bears with his snore. Really?

Oh, he made Dan Sodom so mad. I've never seen that. I have a nebby the I'm not going to be a big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the

big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the

big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the big fan of the So it's a good crew of comics that you see perhaps like a good club to be a US CPAP guy I went and the lady screwed up my sleep test She in the middle of the night. I just fell asleep on my side and she goes sir Can you please roll over and be on your back if you can if you can it's okay But if you can please I was like what the fuck woke me up. I couldn't go back to sleep you got Sean Patton, Ron on Hershberg.

I mean, you like, you just rolled over my fucking whole little act out. Did I, because I was telling you rolled over. I went on your phone, you went on your phone, and then you went back into it like a sociopath. Here's what happened. Yeah, I hope you choke on Gurd.

I want to apologize. Okay. Because I'm very paranoid. I'm the show that I'm on is happening now. So it's very exciting. You're saying that we're just explaining myself. And also I was starting for, I was like, CPAP, there's a lot of great comics with CPAP. And I, and I yes, and you, and I went into my, and you went into something. You said, you CPAP, and I go, I was supposed to be,

and I went into how you get a CPAP, whole story how she woke me up. My sleep apnea test was fucked up, $10,000 test was fucked up by this old Haitian lady who hated her job and didn't like me. Much like men molesting women, time's up on your story. So, I cut it, but I did.

I interrupted, I got distracted, I'm nervous, I'm distracted and I apologize. It's all right. Goffrey, just go to stage. I listened, everybody, we got to wrap up. What do you got, Rosebud? You can go to my website, rosebudbaker.com for tour dates and follow me on Instagram, RosebudBaker and Twitter

and all that and then listen to my podcast, find your beach. That's it, man. A very funny podcast and check out her husband, Annie Haynes, very funny guy. Joe, what do you got? Very handsome guy. What do you have? I have too many podcasts, Tuesdays with stories.

Where can they find you? Mindful Metal Jacket at Joe List Comedy on Instagram and my mother's tits. Your mother's tits. Fantastic. I'll see you guys downstairs. I'll see you downstairs brother. Love you. Joe List everybody.

I Joe. Gabby, real quick, let's go through these plugs. Listen to my podcast, Unabashed Podcasts and follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Gabby is Brian. I mean, I don't know what more you want on Patreon. I mean, this is fucking the best podcast. Yeah, it's great. You can't fuck with my podcast. I don't give a shit what you say.

You can see, oh, you immediately go into pussy. Yeah, we go. That's what commies do. We go into talking about vaginas and dicks. And then we go into talking about relationships and love. And then we go into talking about the Giants. It's fun and Dix and then we go talk about relationships and love and then we go into talking about all kinds of shit This is a comic hang is no bullshit. You can't away again. No one sucking each other's tits So you can get me more far and this and nobody's coveting their fucking fans. This is a real fucking comics podcast That's what you get. And this is the

Patreon only. So there you go. Gabby, what else you got? That's it. All right. Larry Bird. Joe, we got Joe. Go check out. Joe Gressel. We have to tell himself that such a miss. Oh, it's okay. Jay from Jay and Silent Bob. I made my friend Joe laugh. I nailed it with that one. I made Joe laugh. And I made Joe list left. I made my friend Joe laughs. I held it with that one. I made Joe laugh and I made Joe list laugh. I made two Joe's laugh with Larry Bird reference. And that's fucking awesome. Mush what do you got besides fucking terrible complexion? My complexion that bad.

I thought I was just a big guy. No, I'm crying. That's your disposition's terrible. Skin's fine. It was beaming out. Yeah, you're at Mike Vs. For us. Follow the show at why can it be you do?

Why can it be you do it on everything? Make sure you follow us on there. Tell your friends, keep liking and subscribing. And follow Bobby at Robert Kelly live on Instagram and at Robert Kelly on Twitter and everything else. Yeah, this is it. I want to bring my podcast to this network. You should.

Yeah, this is awesome. I can't tell, this was a fucking fun one. I had a blast. Yeah, yeah. Are you okay? What? Did you all right? Everybody, of course, you is awesome. I I can't tell this was a fucking fun one had a blast. Yeah. Yeah, you okay What did you all right everybody? Of course you there's a lot of pressure. There's no pressure on the show Your first time I've only been the only guest No, but I like it, but here's the thing with my show. I people come in come on one person two people That's why I like it. It's a comic who the fuck you never know is gonna stop it

Yeah, last week was just me and the roast of the whole show Yeah, this week it was gonna probably me just me and you and he lead let him what's her name? Lead him in let him in yeah, she was supposed to be on but she fucking high ball me. She gave me the high at wow Yeah, she fucking Wow, fucked up some L.A. Shit. I had to fly home I had to fly home. There's like a guy meeting in the parking lot at the comedy store home. I just fly home. There's like a guy meeting in the parking lot at the comedy store. All right. Well, this was a great show. I want to thank everybody who tuned in and make sure you subscribe, like comment. Like I said before and go to patreon.com.com.

That's Robert Kelly. You guys are the best fans in the world. Thanks for sticking with me. And we'll see you next week. You know what? The podcast. Pot. next week you know what the podcast. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty. Shitty jobs. you