Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Roy Wood Jr. & Keith Robinson | Black Bitcoin

Episode Date: July 16, 2023

This week Bobby is joined by Roy Wood Jr and Keith Robinson they talk about the future of the Daily Show, Keith's strokes, and what late-night TV might look like after the writers' strike ends. This episode is sponsored by GhostBed Listeners can get 40% off all products sitewide! Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for 40% Off Sitewide. Limited Time Only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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So I go up, I'm fucking devastated. Patrice, you know, it passed away, my friend, and this is my crew, you know what I mean? And I'm up there waiting, you couldn't go and see him, yet I get like permission, I finally up there and waiting. I think like a half hour No, this is a different thing mom. Oh, what was the other thing? You can tell I'm gonna tell this That was the first one first row

So I was suddenly wheel him out. He's like this And I went oh No Anyway, I'm just joking motherfucker Yeah, baby we're starting the podcast right now We're back, you know what do you live welcome everybody to the show? Started the social media podcast These back The fact that YKW did podcasts, YKW did back again Old school, back in the day, where it all started before them all

YKW did his podcast is so fun and crazy, and there's no rules Shut up, you all are winning this Work the program, I'm sorry, it's a comedy podcast This is an NPR That's the podcast done, is there any better show? This is the original original. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. fabricated lies. I think I'm 100% sure I did not say what they said, but I can't fight them because they're younger than me. I'm old and I forget shit. So I at this point of my life, I don't yell anymore. I don't I just I wind up where I wind up and I accept it because you can't hit them. They're like children. You can't hit your producers anymore. So anyways, we've got a special YKWD. I'm excited. I have a friend with the sky for a little bit now. We've actually done shows together. Roy Wood Jr. in the house. We have another special guest coming in. He's not that special. That's true. He's not. He's not. I'm going to say

a guest. He's not. He's a guest. I'll tell him to his face, by the way. I'm not talking shit behind his back. Oh no, well, I'll say it to his face too. Okay. He's special. No, he is special as far as handicapped or. Oh yeah. Yeah, like, like,

he definitely gets to part close. Yeah, he could, he could, he could part close. He can get on the bus or on the plane before anybody else. Yeah, he's the guy holding up the city bus. He can zip through security anywhere. He's the reason you're late. The bus has to fucking come down. Like, like was someone put a bike on the front?

Isn't it the worst? Do you remember? Do you remember where you from originally? I'm from Alabama, I'm from Birmingham. I used to be a bike on the front guy when I was in Tallahassee for college. Really? Yeah, riding that bike around hot ass Florida, that bus come by, that was like a fucking rescue chopper. So you had to get out, you had the guy who stopped there to hook it up to the front. Yeah. And then you go on and every as like this, mom. Yeah. And they hate you.

Just take the bike. Well, would you have five moments left of the bike ride? Give a take, but I've been riding the bitch all day, bro. I rode like 14 miles a day and tell her I see yeah, but that's what bikes are for Okay, I mean yes Bug a bunch of old people You know lose the AC because you want you don't want to do the last time. I'll dare you Um Keith Robinson number one, too. I said you know Keith Ross said you said yes. And you said he gave you a lot of advice when you're a young buck. I hope you didn't take any of that advice. I hope that was the second part of that story.

You know why Keith Robinson is bona fide though. Keith Robinson. Because he was born in 1902. Well, that as well survived every plague. He was a war. Like Keith Robinson was legend because he's always a guy always he was a Tuskegee, Yemen. Yeah He was a guy he was a guy from Philly He was the comment from Philly who kept telling Kevin Hart to keep coming to New York

Kev when he didn't come to New York on a red it was Keith Robinson It's like oh, maybe he'll mentor me Like all the black comics we like hover around keeping keep with just fucking one by one. Yo, you ain't shit. Yo joke thing shit. Yeah, you need to and you go home and try and fix your jokes. Yeah, he did. He wanted to be happy. And it's too bad you guys never recorded what he said and played it back to him. Because then you guys all passed him. He gave everybody advice for himself. He gave great advice to everybody and didn't listen to any of it. You know, comedy's full of those Yoda's like that though, where their journey, maybe your

journey is, you ever watch Roller Derby and it's that one motherfucker whose job is to slingshot the other motherfucker forward. Yeah. So that's Keith Robinson. Crazyest analogy that made sense. I've never heard fucking row. It's just the guy who just goes here, grab my hand and I'll swing you across the fucking row

or ring. First of all, FY, it's not guys anymore. It's all chicks. Oh, guys don't do roller derby anymore. That's because I follow that Super 70 sports account and they just show just random sports from when men were men and just no helmets and it's just guys and flowing

our friends just bash and the shit six eight tall bitches just fucking. Bash in the shit out of you remember hockey had no helmets. It's a they were slapping a puck around fighting each other and had sticks. They had no helmets were optional and sports medicine was dog dick back then to So you want getting any type of like real rehab. It was a cold rag Like dentistry. It was a tooth back then. There was no Vanilla and will drill in a crown cover. It's just you don't have a tooth my man No, you had teeth made a gum every night and you spit them out and got new ones the next day

All hockey players back in the day had no teeth. That's that's got to be the right sport. I mean football's tough, right? Yeah, I never played football. I played baseball and soccer growing up. So I like it. I like you know, I like baseball. I like baseball because it was very much like get the fuck away from me type sport. I don't like my fuck is all about me. What? Get the fuck out my face, man. You know what being left feel just chilling?

Yeah, first base, and let's somebody's on first base. I ain't talking to nobody. Baseball is like do your job, but over there. And I'll throw it to you. So you're just anti social sports? Yeah, what it was, we moved a Birmingham from Memphis when I was in the third grade. And so it's gang territory on the west side, it's gangsta disciples.

So, most everybody who played football, like by the time I got to middle school, when I first started trying to play football, most everybody that was good was gang affiliated. So if I make a good play on you, then I'm in trouble with the fucking disciples for the next week and a half. So if you tackle this man, you have to really think about what kind of week you want. You want to get your mother robbed your sister sexually assault. Get whatever. Like it was very much a, it didn't just stay on the field. It followed you home. Like the rivalry, the competitiveness of football.

That shit was just too much, man. That sucks. I'm just a new kid trying to make fucking friends, bro. Is that why you switched to soccer? There's no gangs in soccer. That was... There's never been a crypt. Shit.

It was no black people in soccer back in those days. It wouldn't all this interracial fucking black people fuck with soccer shit. Now, this is Birmingham in 89, but it was, it was, I mean, we were a black team because we were a black school. And we had one fucking dude, just one Mexican named Marvin Martinez. He taught all you guys how to play. That motherfucker was like a Bob Sleveteen and with John Candy.

And you're making like like you're watching Lily baseball And it's that one kid that looks 20, but he's like they swage 13 Yeah, and that motherfucker's just a man amongst boy. That was marver Martinez every Dominican and every literally team that want a championship Dude we fucking we will play those white white schools. Yeah. And fucking Marvin was fucking smoke him. Just smoke him. By himself. Just get him the ball and get out the way on some Steph Curry with his feet. Shit. And like that shit was, that was fun. Like soccer was fun. And it was also very soccer is also spread out. Yeah. Create distance from the ball. Yeah. I like baseball when I was a kid because you could chill out in left field, but I didn't have ADHD. A back that my kid has ADHD.

He the only thing he's taken to lacrosse, golly and jiu jitsu because somebody's trying to choke him out the whole time. That's fair. I, but baseball, I look out what I hear the coach yelling with a max, max, a mess. Oh my, where's my kid? He's in the stands with all the baseballs. Wow. He took a shot. He from home. He's in the stands with all the baseballs. Wow. He took a shoppy from home, he was signing the balls

and handing them to people, not even his team, the other team's parents, signing balls, that's good. That sounds like some shit Deon Sanders did as well. Oh shit, here we go. There we go, keep Robinson in the building. Oh, look at Danny, just let him in. Stop treating like that. Yeah. Keep Robinson.

Keep Robinson, the mentor of many, the king of none. I like baseball, though. I still do. Like I, I watch it with my boy. My boy doesn't really fuck with it that hard, but chess and baseball. I say if you figure out though, if you understand those two activities, you understand life. Well, my boy started playing chess. We used to play chess here at the seller. That's where I learned chess here at the seller around maybe 15, 20 years ago. And I learned it playing this piece of shit right here who used to heckle you and talk about raping your queen while you playing chess. Why can't you put the microphone up to him,

your piece of shit? Oh, man, I don't like this guy already. I know, I know. I play what? What was Roy said? Help him with the headphones, Dan. What was I, no, no. What was Roy said?

Man, I feel like I'm a special needs kid. There we go. Yeah. When Roy said, when you understand chess, you understand life. Yeah. You know who plays chess the most? Prison people.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With regards to prison. You saying, so you saying that what he said was absolutely wrong. So you're saying I'm setting up my child chest for prison pipe point. Set my feet a shot call it. Nah, baseball is about it's still chess in terms of guessing where the picture is going

to put the ball and making him think you think where he's going to put the ball. Like just those mind games, but also knowing your next move before you do a baseball is literally a game of just knowing what you're going to do before you get the ball. And that's life to me. That's life in a nutshell. Base, baseball is always thinking ahead. Yeah. I love baseball.

What's next? I love baseball going to a baseball game. My favorite. Yeah. Well, let me say this man. I hear you. I mean, we have, I'm sorry.

Right. First of all, I just wanna say, I'm sorry. That's all I'm saying to you. I'm excited you're here. This is what these podcasts do, though. They fucking book you, they don't tell you who the other guest is. I fucked up.

And then you show them, I have this nigga. I have this nigga. I have this. Sit with him. I love like, fuck, this nigga. I got a fucking shit with you. I love Roy, but he's the whole thing. I'm calling bullshit on bomb. Why? I just said it like sports.

I love sports. I keep, I played more sports than you. What does that mean? What does that mean? That means you're a spectator. I actually played baseball, basketball, football. All organized. All organized.

At what level? At pop water, little league. Low weight. One of these five. What did you play? Resthold. You wrestled your life. Really?

Yeah. You wrestled the keys out of her hand. No, no. I'm fine, motherfucker. I'm driving home. Where do you do that, like in Philadelphia, like just on a black side of town, like just wrestling? No, wrestling, yeah.

They had a wrestling team. Yeah, where was it? In the park in the summer? Um, a school called Orn call on read junior high. Okay. I wrestle the fireman carrying all that. That's why I hadn't voted joke about because I would use like TV TV wrestling moves. Oh, they're right. You know, so you would, so you would show up to traditional wrestling and then try and put them up fucking the figure for a little bit. Yes.

And they go, hey, that's not legal. What did you do? You showed up with black powder and the guy's face. Well, yeah, I would do, you know, do a lot of that. This is not that one. You wrestle. What else? You hoop?

I'm bad playing basketball. Not perfect. Not organized. Nobody played professional. Not organized. Like YMCA. I played YMCA to like six great. What it was with basketball. I was the smallest kid in the neighborhood.

So I thought I'm six to now, but it's the time. I was like, if I can five, three years of shit. So he's five eight. I never like every, I just I don't know. Everybody in the neighborhood was taller than me. I just I don't know. Everybody in neighborhood was taller than me. It just it was never fun. Yeah. I had no interest in becoming Spud Webb. Muxie Bokes. I played basketball all the time as a kid. I played a lot of

back. I am not show me a picture of you playing. I'll tell you something. When I was in Juve Hall. That's the only thing we played. Now when I was in Juve Hall, that's all we played was basketball. Oh my God. What are you talking about? I was do these to call me Hoops Kelly. Hoops Kelly. They used to sing this song.

Hoops Kelly's coming our way. No, no, no. Hoops Kelly. Better stay away. He makes his shots from the outside in the end. All of a sudden, he does a spin. He's around you. What the hell?

And the ball goes down. Whew, there it's in. Whoops Kelly. I do some musical. Yeah, that's how I was. It was a gay basketball league. That was him. In a football.

A gay, a gay, a gay, a gay, a gay, a gay, a gay, a gay, a gay, a gay, a gay basketball. No, the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada.

In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. In the Vada. Like you know, it's a good time. And I know both of y'all are gonna call bullshit on me. WNBA games. Bullshit. Bullshit. I'm telling you. Bullshit.

Bullshit. Actually, I'm not even showing up. Hang on one second. Get out. Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah. Thank you.

It's a shame. I'm gonna sit with this old guy. The fucking problem is, let me talk to both units. The problem is that the moment somebody says, I enjoy the WNBA, what y'all here is, is better than the man. And that's not what I said. No, what we hear is,

I like a man. I'm not better than the man. I like man. That's what I hear. Go to a Liberty game, bro. 20,000. I was focused. How many? 20,000's what I hear. Hey. Go to a Liberty game bro, 20,000. I was focused. How many? I've been 20,000.

My fuck is beating me. How many is his seat? I don't know. It might not be 20,000. Dude, it's not even now, 1500. I get it. No, they play it. Dude, I sell more tickets at the Liberty Senate than the WNBA.

No, they play the New York Liberty Play at Barclays. Fine. I guarantee I'll sell more tickets to them. It's a good time. I'm telling you. Why is it a good time? You motherfuckers are the same ones who will say WNBA and exciting, but then when the Olympics come on every four years and show some fuck shit, you ain't never heard of before.

You be fucking glued to the TV. I never watched. Watching fucking, I love fuck shit. I love fuck shit. I'm fucking biathlon. When do you give a fuck about a bitch skiing and shooting? Well, why and I do when it has a flag on her chest? God bless America, okay, so yeah, I'll fucking do the what's the thing with the thing curling

I'll broom to the American flag. I'll watch you big cookies. Oh shit. I love America Not me like when I seen the, I think was the first black pencil. I'll watch. Fencing. Oh, this is what it learned it just like Nick is engulf. We didn't care about golf before Tiger. Isn't that a new show on HBO? Well, Nick is an amazing girl.

You want us to say it for you? You fucking asshole. Yeah, I can't say it. I just right go along much longer. They can start greeting like shit. Like that. It's gonna be a lot of interesting reality shows. Yeah.

I think you're gonna have to do this. I think they call what about archery? Do that one. Yeah. Yeah. Like in James Davis, this comic out of LA. He had a show on Comedy Central that was literally that. It was called Hooded Jason and it was a black dude

doing not so black shit, but showing that there's black people in those things. I can't even think of all the episodes, but like literally we'll go and just do out the box type shit like archery or fucking, right. I don't know. What's the horse shit? Or shoes. No, when you raise them. Cornhole. No, you jumped the horse. Oh, um, um, um, um,

um, um, a question. A question. A question. A question. Yeah. No, one second. One second. You would did this. So I thought, there's a question. He said a question and you said it right after. I'm like. No, you didn't know either Hey, you've never said the word in question. You thought it was a question You didn't fucking know Fuck you Keith You're not He knew he did the dinner at the fucking White House He said the dinner at the fucking White House. You did fucking Uncle Wamous. He said the thing with the horse, the horse.

I didn't hear horses dirt bikes. He did dirt bikes. Dirt bikes. I didn't hear horses. If I heard horses, I wouldn't say that. I thought I was at 32. First of all, I love games. games and I wanted to play the game I jumped in too quick before I heard the rules okay, he was like what's the thing?

And I said now he didn't he said what's the thing he said the thing? What about how about this there's a guy you got I mean you guys okay, and when I say that I mean black dudes oh Shit you guys what what? I said start going with the shit. I'm saying like even now in tennis. There's a black dude. There's a couple of black dudes that are fucking killing it.

Francis T. Yachtful. Yes, and it's from Maryland. But they're they're make. Tennis has always been this, you know, they have tradition and blah, blah, blah. These guys are slapping their rackets off the judges thing going, fuck it. But they have the screaming and laughing, huh? The black news have not one black women have fucking murdered.

No, the black two women. Venus. Yeah. And so we're going to go and we're going to put some respect on Sloan Stevens and Naomi Osaka is half black. Yeah, and Srin. No, no, we're going to get we're going to put some respect on Sloan Stevens and Naomi Osaka. Yep. Is half black. Yep. They've won like I don't think Sloan's won a major yet, but Osaka has won a major, right? Sloan has won a major. Okay. And um, uh, Osaka won two.

Correct. Correct. But when you go to you know Venus one eight Serena one of them all three. Yeah, Serena's out really And now she's the best ever right one of the best But you don't get slone a little soccer without Venus and Serena number of an ass and a hundred per soccer watching them We'll pass it and go and fuck it. Yeah, go out here to the Ju fucking. Yeah, let me go to the net is made of hey. Let me go across the street from the gay Juvee basketball game. Fucking server ball. There's a couple black men, but like tennis,

though, as a whole, with Americans, Americans ain't been like dominating the sport. Like that sport that we don't even really demand American men. Well, we had Agacy. We had San Chris. we had Conners, we had Rodic Mac than the who? Andy Rodic was probably the last of the Andy Rodic was killing it. It was a lot of, we had a lot of American men that were kicking it for all.

They were competitive enough like that's what the fuck else you want from. You got a black dude, unranked at Wimbledon who just beat some rank. Why am I sticking up for the black I Let me find them. Oh, We are producing fun. They're upset Wimbledon. Yeah And then delete that off the shirt so we don't get Is that the negative it's got it's got a bunch of black guys getting kicked out of Wimbledon Yeah. You said that making it up. It's got a bunch of black guys getting kicked out of Wemblewood.

It's a pitch of Richard Williams, just mean mugging. I can just watch any sport. So that's what, like that's where I am. Like, if it's competitive and I know that someone's going to lose, I watch it. There's a fucking channel where they just show, I forget what network it is, but it's called simulation football league and it's just fucking some fake ass madden game

and a guy doing play by play of video football. That's crazy. It started during COVID when there was no football and I started watching it and now I still watch it. Yeah, Christopher U-Banks, he's from Atlanta. That's the black guy. Yeah, the guy's killing it right now. And you know, the sponsors are up as ass.

Yeah. And he was ranked 200, I think, a year ago. Let's see, that's the beauty of America, though, is that all you have to do is be kind of good. Yep. And that's about that. And that's about that. Oh, wow.

He knows about that. Talk about it, man. Look at that, you came right there. Oh, you have to do. And that was stroking me kind of good. And that's it. In America, you can have a apartment on the floor. You know what?

Let me say this. Let me say this. My first stroke didn't get me nothing. Nothing. So I had to have enough no one yeah, huh, you know I make it serious. Hey guys. I stroking. Yeah There's I'll watch anything bro. I don't give a fuck. I can't watch anything. I watch kids chopped because I know one I was going home you watch the. I can't watch it. Physician shows. Oh my god. You know what I watch the other day I take that back. You know what I watched that

I'm addicted to. Is it cake? My son is a cake. We just stop what it like we took Netflix off his fucking tablet. Why? Because we keep watching that shit and floors lava. Yeah, floors lava is going to hold it. He's he was five at the time. Too young to be guessing if shit is cake. Count some shit. Go get the fuck out. You never saw it.

Is it cake? No, they make stuff like a shoe or a pocket book or a bowling ball. And you have to guess is it cake or is it real? Yeah. And it's so good. A lot of times like that's real. And they're like, no, it's cake and they got it to it. I get it real? Yeah, and it's so good a lot of times like that's real and they're like nope It's cake and they cut it to it. I get it But it looks literally like the real life item that is in edible what channel?

It's on Netflix or they just make cakes look like an animate real life and animate objects When are you can I ask you a serious question about Netflix? When are you doing you special and what what the fuck's going on with you? Oh. I'm gonna say this, and this is a compliment, and it annoys me. I don't know if you've seen his hour, his new hour, he's been working off

for the last couple of years. For a year. For a couple of years. One year. He can't count cause of the stroke. So yeah, for a year. So. He can't, I don't think you can hear that really.

It's two, a couple years. And I'll be with that, you. Anyways, killing it, dude. It's one of the funniest specials that I've actually sit through and saw, and seen, and the craze murdering. When is it being done? I'm working it out.

It's done. No, it's not. I gotta put more. It's never gonna be done though. Yeah. I know. And I know what I gotta put in it. You ever know something?

Yeah. Like you're begging something, you know what ingredient is missing? Yeah, it just need to stay in there. Just come in a minute. A moment. Okay, listen. Get it done.

What were you? I'm just saying clock's ticking. All right, you got two strokes. Let's get it in the can so we have. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the last thing we want to see is, yeah. We got to, we got to call me in a bunch of clips from the pussy catch just to make your hour.

Yeah. This is what the special would have been. I like what they did with Norm McDonald's. Yeah, Norm was on zoom. Did you see that telling jokes on zoom? What did you think of that? I don't want to. Because you can, as it can be, I want your answer, not corporate Roy Wood Jr.

answer. I would have rather seen him live. Thank you. That's all I'm going to ask. I'd have rather seen it live. So I'm not going to I'm gonna ask you. I'd have rather seen it live. So I'm not gonna ask you to expand on it because I know you have a career. No, but I'm not gonna shit on it.

But I'm gonna ask him, what did you think? And be honest. Ha ha ha ha. Me and his bum down. Down. Yep. Do you think, do you think specials like in the hour sense still matter?

No. In terms of impactfulness. I'll tell you this. It can. I think do you think specials like in the hour sense, still matter in terms of impactfulness? I'll tell you this. They can. I think Keith will. Well, you know, I think he's well. I think he's will because he, it's really funny. I think there's certain people's, I'll be honest,

mine that I just did on LouisCK.com. Please. For me, the fact that we did it, the way we did it, we built the set. I had a thing in my brain, we paid for it, we charged for it, we put it on his website, and we paid for it and made money off of it. I think that was one of the last times.

I think I was one of the last people to do that at my level. I think of course, Shepal can do what he wants, those per blah blah blah, but at my level, getting a special on a Netflix or comedy set wherever and making a bunch of money off of it and getting exposure from it,

I think those days are dead. I think that if a karma cat 50 to 100 K to shoot their own shit, you would be better off taking five K and just shooting a couple of club sets on a decent camera would allow Mike and chopping them holes in a 90 second joint and putting them out on a regular basis. And I think you would reach as many people as you might but what look at me. I put clips out and when the algorithm or the fucking, they say it's it's not a person, but I really believe it's a whole the service of change.

It's a hey-haired white girl that hates me from high school. That is fucking with my algorithm. It's somebody that doesn't like me. I put a clip out, get a million views, and then you put another clip out, now you get fucking 10. And I don't, I don't know what that is. How do you go from a million to 5,000? Somebody told me something to fuck me up

about Facebook and Instagram in terms of like paying to like boost your post. And I have no clue if this is true I've tried to do research on social media metrics and shit so I can you know be educated on it But the shit changes so often, but they were saying that you fuck yourself by paying to boost your Clip because now they know that you're willing to pay So now anytime you don't pay, you don't let that clip perform as good as the one you paid for.

Oh, damn, they got me. So that you go fuck it. I got to pay again. And then that's how they get you. How about this? When I pay, I get nothing either. I mean, I pay and they go, we're still giving you shit. We showed it to everybody.

No one. Wait, man. I love the fresh. No one. Let's see. Joe was impressed. Let us know what you. What? That you're talking about. Let us say to jokes.

You want to see what? He said, yeah, let's see. Joe said you talk. I'll play one right now. Oh, I will let you know. Let's, I have no fear. I'll let you. All you have to do is be.

Here we go. I'm going to play one right now. Roy, ready? I'll let the issue all you have to do is be there we go. I'm gonna play one right now, Roy ready? I'll put it on ready Why are you proving yourself to bag of her? She's kisses. Oh my god I was so I saw the bag I got excited I thought she was like let's have snacks. Let's treat it out. I was awesome because I love her. She's There you go. What the That's the reason and what I'll

Verzy Fuckin do I told you on the Yeah, I'm I told you I'm starting the podcast right when I talk up on the last time I'm in the middle of a bit using my phone and you'll call me back. This better be vitally important. What is it? Listen, I'll be at CV live of Phoenix July 22. You saved me from that bit too.

I got a couple questions for you. Fire off. You just did the correspondence dinner. Yeah. I thought I was led to believe no more comics a couple of years ago. Under Trump. Yeah. It was no more comics.

Under Trump. Why Trump? Oh, wait, no, you're right. You're right. No, I wasn't under Trump. The correspondence association, they decided. They decided no no more comedians after I think Michelle, right? Yeah wolf pistol morph And then I think they had an author the next year. Yeah, and then it was covert. I think covert covert Trevor knowing me right

So, you know, I don't know maybe maybe after COVID, they just were all in their laughing, come by YAHMUD and got half backside of George Floyd. And they're like, yeah, let's get a black one, but you know, when we know Trevor. And then they were like, yeah, and they're like, yeah, let's get another black one. Let's go a little black. Let's go to American black. Do you think we could go real black and get keys to do it? Philly black. One to Sykes did it. One to did it. One sitting in a tanner did it. And that's St. Louis black. Like that's middle America black. Was that anybody with entertain on the end of the name? It's not that dangerous.

Okay, fair, fair. But neither am I. Like I wasn't going up there like wolf or like like a salmon nod. Like did they tell you did they tell you? No. What they say is a wild thing, bro. Like they're nervous that you're gonna go as hard as awesome or wolf, but they never asked to see the script that I've been scrutinized more by a Tuesday college gig. Then the White House Correspondence Association, because they they's probably secretly wanted you to go a little. They wanted you to do it because they know that's what gets them

pressed, but they don't, but they don't want you to go so far that they, but that's what the streets want you to do. They watch the streets want you to go in there and just dunk on every mother fucking alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of sort of The streets want you to go in there and just dunk on every motherfucker in the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of sort of, I don't know, maybe there's just all glancing blows, but that's, you know, my standup isn't dunk on every motherfucker in the room anyway. Right.

I just, I don't know. I didn't feel like I need to go in there and be something I'm not. Yeah. So I'll talk about the issues. I dabble a little bit in people. I fuck up with people on both sides. The first joke was at Biden. What was it?

He walked away from the podium. I walked up to the podium. And I said, Mr. President, you left some classified documents up here. And I hand them some papers. I'd plan it. That's funny. During sound check. That's great. And that got a, this is before you even said hello to the audience. You should have went like those. Oh, these are not you. These are Trump's. I'm sorry. See, I should have had you. You should have fun. I mean, I can just punch it up a little bit. I, they didn't, they didn't fuck with me, bro That's great. Now will you nervous is shit though? Yeah, but that's but that's the good part of comedy, right? That's the part that keeps you honest. Yeah, it's like oh shit. I'm gonna bomb this is gonna go

Yeah, it's go it could go bad. Yeah, and the worst kind of bad. It's like one of the last few live performances, like in this cable unplug era, it's one of the last few live things that's not in a war show that you know everybody's gonna see. If not that night, then in parts, then the story is how you bomb.

Well, the house separate, we are now in the country. I think you did an excellent job For like making sure black folds like I ain't he's good What are you saying Bobby is that no time? Yeah, okay in the African American community should I myself as an African American do anything that in the African American community should I myself as an African American do anything that misrepresent so it be little of the files my African American could got it. Okay. I agree with that. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Even though you know, but you know, still going to be some

horrible black forces. I'm going to go you go up there and you in there with the Democrat and that guy damn president you know, for your fuck you, nigga, you wanted them. You you you balked. You're a sheep. Yeah. You're sheep. Yeah. So I mean, but that, but that's heckling. Like that's all in the game. Like that shit does it. But you know, the best thing that fucking ever happened to me,

bro, was doing last time extent. You will, aside from that, was doing last time extending in 2010. It was like one of the early days of live tweeting. Yeah. And contractually, we had to every Monday night live tweet under the hashtag or whatever it was at the time. So you're following the hashtag on Twitter and then you're just replying to the shit

you want to reply to. What you have to do it, because NBC has some watchdog fucker that's making sure you do the shit. The problem with that hashtag is that the compliment and the insults are all in the same fucking string. Yeah. So every Monday night for two months, you just read the worst shit about yourself. And you can't not interact because it's contractual. Yeah. So after like three, four weeks, you just, you noticed that everything is the insults repeat themselves. Yeah

So it's like oh same insult new person. Yeah. Oh, that's all you have to say about me. Okay cool And then I can go ahead and go about. It's very interesting you say that because I even I've just lost a ton of weight And the insults are still fat jokes and the the things are still I had somebody do a fat joke and they go, I know you lost weight, but fuck you, you'll always be fat to me. And I was like, I, I dude, I just lost 100 pounds. I feel fantastic, but if, you know, if you wanna call me King Kong Bundy, all right, that's the only photo you have on your phone.

Do you? And you know what else is terrible? I did a, the first time I didn't ask me anything on reddit Oh, yeah, those are fucking dice roll dude I and I knew it was gonna be bad and they it's just for laughs. They're like hey We're gonna do an ass in this pro so Canadian and pleasant. I was like hey, you know you know that I've done like the opian Anthony show and This is not with Louie. What year's this is like with Louis. It was what years. This is like five, six years ago. Okay, so we're also then your peak Louis bullshit too.

Like you're fuck. It went, it was, it was, and it was, I was heavy. And it, she, I saw her face change. It was, at the beginning, it was like, oh, and then it was like, well after whale photo after whale photo. Just calling me a fucking hippo and it was just fat. And she was like, Eve, she literally went like this.

Maybe we should stop this. And I was like, I fucking told you. They don't want, yeah. They don't hurt your feelings. I'm talking about it today. Wow Yeah, the only the only correspondence dinner Joe insult that made me laugh that like I almost reply to you know, I like every now and then you get a hate message Yeah, yeah

So during the dinner I give a shout out to my mom and I tied into local journalism, whatever, whatever. It's like a warm moment. My mom is there. My mom, I love you. You're supportive of me when I wasn't shit. No, I'm up here. I don't love you, mama.

And one motherfucker on Facebook and he sent me the message. It wasn't like some in the comments of the post about the dinner. They met, I wanna know you saw this shit. That's the worst. One sentence, your mama ugly. And it wasn't about Trump. It wasn't about me pushing the gay agenda.

It wasn't about gun control. It wasn't about Ron DeSantis. How dare you defend Kamala after everything she's done to prosecute black men in the prison, pipeline, it was just out of everything you said, bro, your mama's ugly. I don't. Like they cut to your mom. Yeah, so he saw. So you fucking saw. I don't like Yeah, so he saw so you fucking saw Nika sends me a message that night that night sends me a message your mom was ugly

I fucking spit three days going down a rabbit hole of this dude's Facebook and trying to find like I want it. I was going to do a roast of all of his dead relatives and I found like pictures of like just people he's mourned over the years on his timeline and I was just going to roast that person and then just leave it all personal. Keep it in the DMs. I was never gonna go public. I'm not gonna fucking this is between you and me. And just halfway through it. I'm just like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, like, you're in the middle of like collecting the pictures of dead people of a stranger. And then you look over at your child and he's just happy watching is it cake? And you're like, maybe I should just fucking go over there.

Just fucking be a fuck. Did I have a guy send me, I had a guy send me some like really hateful shit back of the day, fat. Just called me, said I was, I hope you're gonna die and grab your chest. So I went through, I went through a social media, I found a picture of his wife who was fat. And I, I took the fat, the fatest picture I ever could find of her.

And they had a fat kid. And I took the picture of the fat wife and the fat kid. And I just put it in the DM and I went, Hey, bro, what's this? And he went back, I'm sorry, man, I shouldn't have done that. Yeah, yeah, you have fat life and you have fat kids. You know, I'm in fuck with people for a long while. Yeah, we know, I'm friends with you for a long time. No, and I'm saying it's like doing life,

made me two things. I got, I got felt, like I shouldn't have did that. Yeah. And that's in school and this girl named Tammy. I ain't going to say it last name. But I'm fuck with her so much and so bad. Like one day I was in church and I'm in church, you know. I'm grown now. But as girls, somebody's kicked my chair. It was Tammy. And that A, the effect was so much. But she was seasoned church.

Yeah. But I still, man, in church. Yes. Like even God couldn't take away her anger. Yes, it was just like and another one more thing. And then I did the bomb and I thought about it when I did it, but it felt so good doing it. I was in the hospital.

It was the worst and the hospital. Can I tell it going? I can tell it going. After his first stroke No, my second stroke was your second. No, it was your first one Shit, now don't tell out of talent He'll remember it. Oh, he's second one. Oh, second. I got it So I go up. I'm fucking devastated

Patrice, you know, it passed away My friend and this is my crew, you know what I mean? And I'm up there waiting. You couldn't go and see him. You had to get like permission. I finally up there and waiting. I think like a half hour. No, this is a different thing, mom.

Oh, what was the other thing? You can tell that one. I'm gonna tell this to me. That was the first one. First one. First row. So, all of a sudden, they wheel him out. He's like this.

Mark. And I went, oh, no. Anyway, I'm just joking motherfucker. You're the worst human being in the world. First of all, the only way you can do that joke, you have to have a stroke. Number one. Number one. And you get one shot. You gotta be in a wheelchair. You gotta deal with it. So after you had the stroke, did you go back to Tammy to show it at like her prayers?

Prayers do work. Yeah, you prayed about this. It wasn't Tammy. It wasn't Tammy. It was all of us. It was SD me. Call. What I do at the second stroke. Now the second stroke. Yeah. My speech there was in the room with me. I'm in the hospital. And he said, you got to learn to do a

repetitions. This one sucked. You know, I'm like, yeah, you have something you said. And let it go. I went over again. I called him on the phone. No, I called him. You called me, yes. I said, I got it.

Let me call my friend Bob. And Bob, don't Bob answers the phone. I'm like laying in the bed. Don't know whether I'm going to live or die. But this is it. I'm like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh'm like, um, um, bobs and fat fuck, bobs and fat fuck. Bob the fat fuck, she said very good. Yeah. Yeah.

Just angry. I go, what the, now his second stroke, I remember this. And then I go, what the fuck are you saying that? Boy, he goes, I need to work on my speech. Todo empieza con un paso. En Sanita, fuimos los primeros en ofrecerte video consulta con tu médico de siempre. Comprogramas especializados. Otro paso, cuida tu mente. Y otro, ficio digital. Cada año queremos que disfrutes de la asistencia médica presencial y digital que mereces.

Dal paso a Sanitas y disfruta ahora de blúa ayudurante un año gratis. Cada año queremos que disfrutes de la asistencia médica presencial y digital que mereces. Dal paso a Sanitas y disfruta ahora de bluayud durante un año gratis. Pulsan el banner para saber más. Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caisha Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitalo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informate en caishabank.es. Caisha Bank, tu y yo, nosotros.

Siempre que se mantenga las derconstanzas económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud. Allí, no. No, yo he... Yo creo que te he pensado. Yo creo que no habíamos habido nada. Pero habíamos habido nada.

Habíamos habido nada. ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué haces? ¿Qué haces en el programa? Yo no getting the daily show? Dude, I do not know. Come on. I know I'm not even bullshit. The economics of it. The economics of it.

Well, see economics of it. TV's changed, bro. Yeah, it is. Now, how many central, doesn't have a network anymore? They have a channel. They still have a channel. They still have a channel. What is it we have programs?

What? Who's in South Park and, you know, they can, we can, He's still have a chip. What is it? We have programs? What self-park and You know, we get it. What the daily show got to That's not a channel. I know people some but hey got moved to Paramount plus Who owns what was it MTV owns it? Viacom. Yeah, I've heard about the Viacom. Okay, so here it's up there Okay, so here. So the. I believe the bigger question is what the fuck will late night look like after the strike

and if that's anything anybody wants to be involved with because of the writers I'm not gonna get that writers are gonna give it they want. I'm not even being on some political shit. No, it fucking costs a lot. When you start paying the writers more, you got a trim, bro. They're trimming ESPN late. A shit ton of motherfuckers off, bro. And to me, that's the first real sign that something's off because sports is the cheapest fucking shit in terms of a studio show. They lose money. They're in the hole because they pay all the money for the

rights to carry the games. Right. So that's where they lose all of their fucking money. So the sports to carry the games. Right. So that's where they lose all of their fucking money. So the sports shows are so fucking bare bones. You tell me, you can't make it with these, but I'm fucking, you gotta cut them. Like, so, like, when you look at cordon, James Corden, this is all public shit. Okay.

Corden's show was losing about 15 million a year, with 15 million a whole in terms of what it cost to make for the year versus the ad revenue that they brought in. Corden steps down. Paramount Viacom is going to do a reboot of that midnight and that slot at 1230. So that's way cheaper than Corden. There's no band.

You need a smaller studio. You don't have to pay comedians nearly as much if you make the show about the topics and not the host. You don't have to pay the host, whatever the fuck James Corden was getting. So that's cutting corn, like that's a cheaper product. So if the daily show is on four or five nights a week, the same is Corden, yes, at some point you got to do the math. So you got to figure out a way to do late night cheaper.

And what the fuck that looks like, I don't think anybody's ever set down yet and really figured that out. I'm working on it. I got my ideas, but like this is an idea. Whatever the fuck y'all thought late night was before the strike, a shit is done. How about this? We don't call it the Daily Show, ready?

Uh-oh. The weekly show. They did that with Trevor two years ago. Shit. Yeah. How about this? How about this? The bi monthly show with Roy Wood Jr. and Keith Robinson. That might be what I have the thing. What? And then, um, that's feel. Godfeld is number one. Number one. That feels number one. Yeah. Number one at night. Yeah. Beats everybody. Yeah. Good feels like what? Two million two and a half somewhere in there. Well, sometimes he's, he's he got was getting 11. He's cleaning up. He was getting 11 million.

That's not getting. I don't think he's getting that now. He's not getting 11 million. He did a little for a couple. Nobody's getting it. Fucking NBA playoff game. I got 11 million on this podcast. So say what you need. Where are you going to be? I just think that, like, just getting this show, it's like, oh no, man, like the more I look at the economics of late night, we need an idea that's going to be more physically silent and what's being done. And I think people ignoring that shit, they're ignoring that what happened with Gordon. It's just Gordon leaving and it's a creative difference.

There's going to be a full economic shift, bro. They've taken actors off of fucking shows and demoting them to recurring. It's like it's like going like if your job, the only thing you can explain to somebody who doesn't know entertainment, if your job had five managers and then you're in the boss came in and you're, okay, we only don't carry two managers. The other three managers are now demoted to assistant managers. But you still do the same shit as a manager. Like that's so that we can pay you less.

So they're cutting corners in all of these different facets of entertainment, late night is the cheapest. So it's gonna get hit the hardest because it's the one people give the least fuck about. I've a way to second though ratings are the lowest. Yeah, but don't you think it's all right So here's the thing don't you think it's late night's fault for for for going corny They went corny they stopped doing what they stopped and they and it's too One of you made my corny. I mean dude. They didn't too left. It's too left too left It's too left. It's too left. It's too left. It's not getting every, and then you lose half the people. When back in the day, a letterman or a tonight show with Carson, it got everybody.

Okay. Made fun of everybody, right? Yes. But now we're in a situation where not just late night, but entertainment as a whole became more bubble. Our show is about this cause and the thing that we give a fuck about. So I'm only going to watch and support things that are in alignment with all of the things I give a fuck about. So you can't have at this point right now, it'll be nicer if there was a turn.

You can't have a centrist show that properly takes jobs at both sides. Well, I just why that's why the correspondence dinner for me was so important, because I want to walk up there first joke and fucking slap Biden in the face with a joke to show that we have to kind of try to be on both sides. I think Jon Stewart did that. Yeah, Jon did it. Jon did it. I don't think Trevor did it.

The country wasn't as divided under Jon. And Trevor was from another country. That's a hard thing for people. You have a daily show talking about politics in this country. A lot of people that I would hear bitch, we're like, dude, that guy's not even from here. Okay. John Oliver gets the same shit.

Correct. But John Oliver comes baptized under John Stewart during his time at the daily show. So he's not treated as much as an outsider as Trevor. It's in the eyes of the American TV consumer. But it's still he still gets a lot of shit because there's a guy up there with an accent telling American you suck.

Okay. But to me, the issue, the bigger issue is that if late night wrote itself into a hole where we're only going to write jokes for this group of Americans. Right. And gut feel goes, we're only going to write jokes for this group. Because Guttfield isn't centrist. By and large, it's a right wing show. It's funny.

They have fucking good jokes, but they not trying to fucking be in the middle of the road. Out of town. They was quiet. It's fucking. And why are they getting viewers? So, well, I would say number one, no less competition in the marketplace for right wing humor outside of whatever's going

on on YouTube is a lot of it's a lot of stuff on YouTube that would be as strong. If it was on linear, like say like a trade crowd or somebody like that where if you put that on against gut fail, but you would need another whole last right wing network that has some weight that has ads and foxes the big stick in the room right now. So everybody's right into a bubble. So you already have a show that's not even for the whole country. So your ratings can't sustain the budget. But if you took over the cost that it takes to run a fucking show, be it a gut fill or fucking Seth Meyers or whoever, the money is the same.

Let me ask this. What's going on? Like the rain? It's way to the rain right now. It's hard for me to look at the rain on their rain. I got to do left-handed. Like with who? So, but then what's, are you for sure? What's too much?

Come on. The thing is, what, I mean, really? you for? Watch too much. Come on. The thing is what I mean, really? Give me one. Well, the fact that you I'll tell you the fact that Jimmy Fallon had Trump on. Well, I said, you know, and then he got blackballed and he got bitched into doing like you can't even go out of it. You can't even go out of the. Correct.

You should be able to have Trump on. Make fun of him. Let him say what he wants, have Biden on. Like they used to have everybody on those shows. But the country wasn't as vocal, and I don't know if that's a byproduct of social media. People may have had it, mainly. Okay.

It's a byproduct of a very small community of social media that seemed larger and scared the shit out of him. Here's my issue though, man. When we started talking about comedy and fucking late night, comedians want this autonomy to be both sidey Here's my issue though, man, when we started talking about comedy and fucking late night, comedians want this autonomy to be both side without recognizing that the network only cares about fucking ratings and outrage is bad for advertising and business. And all I care about is selling fucking beer.

I just want beer commercials on. It's not to trans people. Yeah, that beer would not going to carry because so every network, no network wants to be put in a position to choose a side on the thing. So if you put Trump on and I interview Trump, it's like when Trevor had Tommy Laren on and people go, well, don't give her an audience, don't talk to her. You shouldn't, how could you? And Trevor's just, hey, man, I'm not from here.

I'm trying to see what's going on on both sides. And just what the conversation should fucking be. But if the network, somebody, if they wanted to, they could have called down at five o'clock at rehearsal and they're like, yeah, Tommy ain't coming on. Till, if I can, I don't know,

till Jake Tapper, see if he can come down and sub in for Tommy Larry. Because it's bad for advertising. That's all the networks came about I think about, they care about money in a bottom line. Can I say something? I think Bill Maher right now is knocking it out of the park. Okay.

I think Bill Maher, who is a liberal, who is left is knocking out of the park because he's coming down with common sense things. Maher is, I think a lot of people on both sides because he's not a right conservative. And the things that he's saying is making sense to everybody. Bill Mardem is like a red Democrat if that makes sense.

I do. I know what that is. That's an old Democrat. That's my mother. That's my grandmother, my grandfather. They're Democrats. Yeah, Oliver, like, back when a Democrat get his dick sucked and the old office wasn't a big thing. my mother, that's my grandmother, my grandfather, their Democrats. Yeah. Oliver, like, back when the Democrat get his dick sucked in the old office wasn't a big

thing. Oliver calls out Democrats in some of the segments, but you know, his show is more deep guys. I'd say Bill Mar probably has the most centrist political, his entire program that's out there, like there are weeks where the liberal's a man and there are weeks where the Republicans are. And that's the way it should be. Okay, but he's also grandfathered in.

What do you mean? Bill Mar been doing, Bill Mar been cooking And that's the way it should be. Okay, but he's also grandfathered in. What do you mean? Bill Marvin doing it. Bill Marvin cooking like that for almost 30 years on television. You don't think a guy like you could come in there where you're at and take over the show and say, we're going to do things differently. We're going to we're going to funny is funny. I'm not having left wing.

I'm have if you have funny you write jokes will make a fun of everybody. It's two. You don't think that show would pop off? Yeah, but it's two hurdles. Number one, I need a network that is going to stand tall with me in the eyes of the criticism that's gonna come out the gate of some of the people that I choose to have on the show in this period of conversation in human,

and the way it works and y'all, I can, I can get y'all through. But, some of your friends, I don't know. The issue number one is that second issue is getting conservatives to trust that I'll do right by the conversation and then not turn into a dunk session. I was trying, when I guess hosted the Daily Show, my guest host week, they let you choose who you want to go at

to try and get on the show. I try to get Nikki Haley and I steal and I think I can get this when at some point in life, K.I.V., the governor of Alabama. And so both of those Republican women pass a lot of laws, got a lot of people. But even with K.I.V., I didn't even want to wrap about that shit everybody was mad about.

I want to talk about it from a place of what are the things in Alabama that everybody gets wrong. But you know, I defend itself like a motherfucker. And I hate the fact that people perceive us one way because of one little thing. So let me talk to this one lady who passes laws that help promote the the misdirect on all of the other shit that's happening in the state. But I've got to get Nicky fucking Haley to trust that when she comes on this program that it's going to be a level conversation. Bill Mard don't have that problem. But it's always funny too. But I have a seven year track record that leans far more left than centrist in terms of the jokes I've done and the segments I've done.

So that's why the correspondence didn't it was him for me, it was very important. It was almost in a way of trying to show on, so not even rebrand isn't the word, but it's like, I also get to, I also can do this. I don't always get to do that over there at the daily show, but I'll say I do this. Right. Like that was the goal, but. So the correspondence that it worked out for you in a great way. I mean, I don't fucking know. We're in a mill of a fucking strike. So I can't fucking sell a show.

I mean, it's an idea. But people, I mean, people's response to it was great. There was no. Yeah, it was. It was great. I mean, it didn't work out good for your mom, but it worked out. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I don't feel like it's like if you got, you know what it's like, it's like when the last interview Don Lemon did before he got fired from CNN where he got into

it with the Indian brother that's running for Republican president, I'm not going to try and fuck up his name. Ramaswamy. Yeah, that's it. Ramaswamy. That's what it's called. Don't fuck with me. No, it's Ramaswamy. You're fucking dumb.

Bobby, I swear to God, whatever it was. That's a fact. CNN up into that point, traditional leveling in that world, that they'd start putting the pieces in place to be more centrist. They had a town, they had a town hall, everybody fucking screen bloody murder. Mickey Haley got a town hall, everybody scream fucking bloody murder. How could you let these people on the network with these ideas? And so Don was the one guy pushing back against dude.

Rob is on me. Rob is it that night. See, that's why you're not going to be on my new centrist political set, I show. Did you fucking, you fucking up people's names? I was right about the other thing though. Yeah. At one joke, I should have had the Trump, I was a good joke.

You were right. You think, don't fucking pull. That was good. That would have been good. No, so you can't, Yeah. You to have a show like what you're talking about now, there will be a period of transition that you need guests to

trust you through and you need network execs to trust you through as viewers and everybody in all their bubble screen bloody murder and that's not what's get through it. But this is, but that's not my I don't have no control over that. Why people was mad and I'm trope and the helly was Caitlin, what's her name? Caitlin Collins from CNN. Collins, they get more, more mad at her

for entertaining. How is she interviewing? Correct. Cause they go, oh, you served up cream puff questions. You didn't really press, you didn't really push back, that you didn't give no push back on them. But that goes to prove my point. If CNN pushes back and does the fucking, I'm gonna fucking stick it to you interview. How many more Republican candidates are gonna come on that fucking network between now and the end of 2024?

And you need them for ratings because you have to sell fucking beer commercials. But not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not to the... Not matters. But not to the truth. Yes, but not it wasn't so much. I'm I'm her question was just bad. Yeah, Trump was out. Right lines. And she let it and she let it flow. And they let it flow in exchange for. All right, I'm going to maybe on the next interview.

I get you back and darn limiting about that. Fuck shit darn limiting. I'm going maybe on the next interview, I'll get you back. And Don Lemoning about that, fuck shit. Don Lemoning, I'm gonna let you pass one time. And so that's why it's like, I need you to get you. Yeah, but Don Lemon, don Lemon, come on, dude. Well, watch your mouth. Don Lemon is not a fucking journalist. He's an opinion maker.

He says things. All journalists have opinion. And there's no more. It's all a opinion bullshit. None of this shit is real news. It's all so proper shit. It's all court TV bullshit. It's all. I hate that. But what is it? They're telling they're telling people when you make everything bad. You lower. If you like, if you think Don Lemon is a good news person, he was a good character on a show. He was not a informative person. He was put out, he was put out to task a bunch of times, whether you like them or not, he was made a fool a bunch of times on TV because he just went down this way and that's it. And then you see him on New Year's,

you know, getting his nipple pierced, and that's who you are. Don, be that guy. Be a gay drunk guy, get your nipples pierced, having fun. But the problem is that some of the questions that Don was asking, like, and I'm just talking strictly on that, Don, like, right?

Nobody else on the network's fucking asking. Okay. So, if you're to be the centrist balanced network that you claim to be, and you get rid of down limit, well, then who's the other checks and balance? Who's the checking balance? Fine. Half-down limit, but have somebody that checks and balances him. They should have, they should not just have the same motherfuckers on this side.

Get, imagine, like back in the day, what was the show? Was Tucker and somebody, they had great, They should have they should not just have the same motherfuckers on this side get Imagine like back in the day at what was the show was Tucker and somebody they had They had two people that were that would argue it out That's different. Yeah, it's Fox is doing the same thing of course there. I'm not saying they're not This is the thing that I hate to when you say something about CNN, someone's gonna go, well, they're doing the turn, turn, turn, turn, turn. I don't have to say it like that. If you say something about Biden, immediately, like I was talking to my uncle, dude, what are you, a Trumpi?

Trump does. I didn't say Trump is fucking good. I didn't even vote for Trump. I'm not saying you, but it's like as soon as you say something about this guy, yeah, but this guy, and if you say something about Trump, yeah, but this guy, don't, don't, don't, don't. And if you say something about Trump, yeah, but Biden, it's like, can't you just have a conversation and deal with that? No, you got to have a fair balance conversation.

You're not, you said Don Lemon. You're not balanced. What's saying this? You're left hand, that you, sorry. I'm not left anything. No, I mean, your arm. You're left, you're left, sorry. I'm left, sorry.

I said I'm not left, sorry. You're not right anything. I said I'm not left anything. No, I mean your arm. You left your left song. I'm left side. I said I'm not left. Sorry. You're not right anything. I said I said I'm not left anything. I apologize. I said my whole way side is down. I apologize. I want you canceled. I'm talking. You know what? I should be canceled. Let me say to the ratings on the show, we're kind of canceled. We live in a world where like it's not often. Yeah. But like for the comedians I follow and have followed over the life of Twitter. So let's say 15 years, right? Comedians evolve and some have opinions about politics that I don't agree with, but as a comic, you're still, it's fraternity. So every blue moon on Twitter, I'll get a note from somebody,

hey Roy, I don't know if you know or not, but you're following blah, blah, blah. And I don't know if you meant to be following blah, blah, blah, but you shouldn't be following him. That person is not interested in me having a conversation with blah, blah, but you shouldn't be following him. That person is not interested in me having a conversation with blah blah blah. No, no matter how balanced and fair and push back I give, it is just all seen as giving audience

to things that people have deemed should not be given audience. It's all irredeemable. Like the way you feel about Don Lemon, there's nothing that can bring you back. No, I don't mind Don Lemon. I'll ask you, you hate gay black mind Don Lemon. I do not say it. I think gay black men are the best gay gay people. What? You heard me. I love them. Listen, that's not true. I think when Don Lemon is doing being himself enjoying and being

funny and he's not a, he's not a political guy. He's a personality. And when he gets it's almost like when a comic gets too serious about something, it's like, dude, what the fuck? And nobody had to on that instance. Okay. He had a question in the obvious, what does any in dude? Because he is putting out facts that weren't true. I'm a black folks. So it had to be black. But has Don Lemon put out facts that weren't true. I'm not black folks. So it has to be black. But has Don Lemon put out facts that aren't true over his time? Of course.

Okay. So then to me, that's more of an indictment of the model of journalism, which is sensationalism and debate until there's a new story to debate. So the entire model is broken in a way where we just want to appeal to the people who like us already, how do we expand market?

But those people start getting picked off and nibbled on other networks and they start watching other programs. And like, especially on a liberal, like leveling inside programs, it's a, it's a, it's a saturation. Yeah, I say oversaturation. A lot of shit been canceled. So I don't know if it's a oversaturation anymore. But like the idea that you could just after the strike

make a show that is what we both agree is a better place for political comedy to exist. That's going to be a tough, it's a handful of people that folks would trust. I think you could do it. I'm willing to take it. I think you could do it because I think that you have funny first. I'm willing to attempt it, but bro, here comes another obscure analogy. It's Superman 3. We need two people to turn the key at the same time.

Remember Richard Pryor was breaking into the nuclear. Holy. So it's me over here going out performing. And on the other key is the networks and it's the fans just to and the advertisers. You just did a Superman 3 reference. Yeah. That's that's the one that everybody. Well, that was the worst one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yes, Chris, for real. Really? Was he in the wheelchair? Oh, so long. As two handy cap jokes, you mean? I say, there's up no

funniest Halloween costume ever. It was off. Out of the front, it was a dude in the super outfit in a wheelchair. So I can greatest. I was like, you need to be canceled. Hey, whatever, dude. I got some questions for you. You got it. I know you got a heart out. Is that every four? This dude You got it. I know you got a heart out. It's that every four. Do we do it? I just think that I appreciate you.

I got a heart out. A heart home. Yellow card. That's a bomb band. Put that on your microphone. Oh, Oh, right. Um,

Yeah, your father's a journalist too. Yeah, man. Oh, well, Does he like this? He like what you're doing with comedy or he wanted you to be like a journalist or no, my dad was hardcore. He was like investigative. He was a combat journalist in Vietnam.

Oh, wow. Odisha during their silver or South African silver war civil rights movement like pretty much anywhere guns. Put your fist just like that's what he was on. You're scaring the autistic kids. The autistic Jewish kids, when they see that hang up, they see Hitler, not a black guy at the Olympics. Now he died when I was 16. My dad didn't fuck with like jokes.

I don't even think I saw my dad laugh for like maybe twice. I thought fuck. He's a fucking black man who just went from war to war. It was shit funny to him and I. It was no funny. No, I told the story before bro. My dad, my dad was one of the original investors

in Soultrane. What? Yeah. Wow. That's good. The first year he was working at WVON and Don Cornelius was one of the reporters. He hired in the news division. And he's like, yo, man, Don Cornelius comes to my pops. Like, my figure, he give me a cup of thousand dollars. I'm going to put it with all this other money. We don't do a show like Dick Clark, American bandstand.

And my pops gives him the money, takes forever to sell, sold train or whatever the, whatever it was, Don didn't give the money back on the timetable that he was supposed to. So my pops jammed him up in the hall one day, like not even on some supervisor, like superior to inferior, like fucking, like just on some black man to black

man. Where the fuck is my money? Some loan shark shit literally. Literally. I gave you money. Lots of money. And you know, I don't know a couple thousand bucks in the 60s. That's a lot of money. I could $20,000 this is shit. Oh, wow. And Duncan, New Yearus just goes, yeah, man, I don't have it. We haven't sold it yet. I don't know what to tell you. How about this? How about you just stay on as a producer.

Instead of me paying you back with a little bit of interest, just stay on and just be your producer on the show for the rest of your life. And my pops toe, Don Canell use? Don't nobody want to watch niggas dance for an hour. Have my cash. You're popping my pop or similar. Oh, wow. I don't know my father. Well, hey, that's nice. You brought it head. I never had a head. Take that. God, that's a great joke, buddy. Come on.

No, my pops took a buyout. He took a buyout. He got money back. And how rich would he have been? I don't know enough to never watch Soul Train. He would have smiled. He never watched Soul Train. He never watched Soul Train.

No. Like that was like Bitcoin. That was Black Bitcoin. And my dad was like, imagine when just you were the first person to buy a Bitcoin for a penny. I never watch Onterrodge because I was this close to getting turtle. Shit, I can see it.

Sweater God. Do you ever audition for something and watch to see you got it and be like, yeah, it should have been them. Everything I've ever auditioned for. I was like, I get it. You made it. You know what? You made a real good choice. Some of the stuff I got, I was like, you should have picked the other guy.

That's crazy. So yeah, my pops was a journalist, but he was very serious and upright. He did hard news Hard news like how would you get sense of human though? If your dad's such a tough dude and so hard knows where did you get? What did you get his TV? I just I lived I grew up an only child I'm 9th of 11, but my mom's only kid so you just living your head I was a latchkey kid like I didn't see my mom till like, like in 7 30 every night. So you're just watching, you do your homework,

you watching Nickelodeon. And if you're lucky on the weekend, like some movie will come on, like the Saturday night movie. And like that would be a big fucking deal back in the day, where they would just for the young people before streaming, the overlords would give you one movie a week to enjoy that you could never afford to go to the cinema to see. And I remember watching airplane from Zuckerbrothers. And like that was the first light. Oh, that was oh that was funny. That made me like that was the instant. Like the first hit of dope. The guy who guy hates me, the Zuckerbrother. One of them. The guy who, the guy hates me, the Zucker brother.

One of them? We got to know it. Yeah, we got to into it. On the, on the joke is, the joke is true. Why? I, I, I, I, he didn't know argument on the fucking cruise. Well, Paul Verzi, I was calling his name. I was like, Barzi, Verzi and you, talking to this old guy.

I was like Verzi and he's ignoring me. I mean, wow, we just had a cigar the other night. We had a talk about friendship. Yeah. And he's ignoring me. And I'm like, I, this is cocksack. It's got to be somebody famous. So I go, is he talking to somebody famous? Is this guy? And I walked over. He's famous, right? I didn't know he was. And this, he was so offended by my loudness and my just me being me. So he was like, why would he ever do that? And then I was like, I go fuck yourself. This is a comedian cruise.

I'm busted my friends balls. Yeah, it says nothing to do with you. No, he says he was just sick of me the whole cruise. We're in the water and he came out with his family and he was like, you. Oh, it is. Joe, when you found out who it was did you like apologize and go now that man You wrote some of the biggest comedy classics fall time like what? You know what?

Airplane yeah Whatever pull up pull up pull up pull up the Zucker brothers IMDB And then he doing nagging gun and all that yep, it wasn't a fan did he? What do you mean one? I want I wasn't a fan. I'm pretty sure you do. I didn't laugh at naked gun did not make me laugh. Are you out of your mind? Do you not like slapstick humor? Yeah, I do, but I'm like, I'm not.

It didn't, animal house was funnier to me. Oh yeah, top secret. Check. What was a fletcher was funnier to me? Yeah, did the naked gun. Yeah, not a trilogy. Naked gun 75, I get it. It was all goofy horses. Yeah, I'm making out 33 and a third. Yeah, never the mechet gun. Yeah, not a trilogy naked gun 75 I get it was all goofy horses. Yeah, I make it down 33. Yeah, I never never got into any base get ball. Nope, but the

um, nope, didn't like it. tree park and messed on. I didn't like it. Scary movie five. Come on. Now I like scary movie one was fucking good. Scary move five was whatever you front now, bro. I look at me. Look at me. Look at me. You didn't fuck with none of this airplane. I will give airplane. Yes, historical, but watch it again. You think it holds up. Yeah, yeah, that's because you're old as shit. It. It you still like gladdest night in the pips. What were made me not like him? I don't know. Kiss how you know, airplanes still holds up. They haven't even tried to do anything similar to that movie. They tried it.

They did, they did soul plan. It's that's not, don't you insult the Zucker Brothers with. So playing was airplane for black people. Yes. Oh, what? Wow, stop trying to make shit racist. I could say black people to black people. You're not involved in them.

Don't say black. Sorry, you're right. It's my Boston accent makes it sound like this. Fucking black people get up on the top. I got to tone it down. How was this? I can say black people. Nice.

Bad. Got it. Thanks, guys. Thanks, God be out. I got questions for you, my friend. I got questions. I got questions for you, Keith, too. You ready? What do you mean? I got questions for you Keith too. You ready?

What do you mean I got questions for you too? Like well, I mean, one's a superstar and one's not. All right. One's going to be hosting the daily show. I think one's my friend. I love you. What'd you say? I think he's a superstar. Yeah. Look at that. Look at me. Look at me. It ain't going to be no black on black crown, brother. Right. Look at me. Superstar. Don't turn me look at me. I ain't gonna be no black on black crown brother. Right look at me Superstar don't don't turn me. All right. You're ahead. You're ahead. There's enough. There's enough hatred in there. Okay questions ready J This from J. Sup Roy

Your daddy did a lot of good things with his efforts on racial equality through the power radio What does your old man think of all the fakes out there profiting off the social justice BS over actual grassroots growth? What do you personally think of the brothers calling themselves comedians, but only spout social justice BS? I think he's talking about Keith. He's talking about Keith Robinson, yeah. He just holds his fists up. I wish, you know what, I wish, I wish the black thing was with the other hand. I do wish that. Nope. Nope.

Nope. He tried. Nope. I wish it was only this hand. I wish this hand was white power. I don't, I don't worry about the comics that have righteousness instead of punch lines. They have righteousness in the place of a punch line. That's going to self-correct.

The streets will turn to late. That's the other thing with all of this network being broke shit and penny pension. Bye bye diversity, diversity programs. That's going to all be gone. Really? I think so. And like all of these niche shows that speak to a lot of issues. Unfortunately, they're going to a lot of issues. Unfortunately,

they're going to get the job to. Yeah. Because we need something that for sure everybody can watch. Because we need to fucking sail beer. Well, every show shows movies shows are everybody now. I think there's going to be a reduction in that. So like anytime I see a comedian doing something that I'm like, okay, that's cool for now, but I don't know what the longevity is of that, you know, whatever. My pops, he didn't fuck with a lot of, you know, my dad died for context, my father died in 95. And so he covered every presidential election.

So during that era of the first blacks to run, you know, the Shirley Chisms and Jesse, I was backstage with Jesse Jackson in 84 during Democratic primaries when he came through Birmingham. My dad was interviewing him. My dad tend to, like on some, I guess, real journalism shit, he didn't mingle with politicians. He didn't really fucking hang with him. Like, I don't even think he would have come to the correspondents dinner. Really?

I don't think that would have been come to the correspondant dinner. Really? I don't think that would have been his bag because it would have been too close to drinking and being chummy. Sure. Like, I don't think that's as it should be. I don't think that would have been his shit. My dad would have, he for sure would have called out all of that shit. But how proud he would have been so proud of you.

They're proud of me, but then he also would have been like, they make sure you hold him, Nick is accountable too. Like he would have also said that. Right. Um, now I don't know, man. Like I think what sucks about social justice is that everything gets a lumped in with the folks who did it wrong, with the grifters or the people that was pensioning. And you know, as I said,

was it casino, skim and the skim? So, all these motherfuckers are stealing the money and running off with it. And the entire movement is deemed worthless because of that fucking grifter. Yeah. But it'd be like writing off religion because of fucking rape or theft or every other thing that's

wrong within that institution. Right. You know what I mean? Like that stuff, like that part of it I don't like. And I think the people who choose to only see the bad out of the activism, I think they're deliberately ignoring the people that really were like the no names on the ground because those are the ones that are doing all the shit. It's the people you don't know.

And I'm speaking on this from a perspective of a guy who goes back to Birmingham every year and does something with a 5013C, you know, sometimes twice a year. You're telling what that is, please. What? What is it? I have a gun.

Wow. I hope not. Wow. I hope you use it tonight. Non-profit. You know it means non-profit. I know what it means He didn't I mean you thought it was a pistol your piece of shit. No, I said that a foot of funny Yeah, you did a level one three caliber You think the three-seeming caliber I just from Lou what brand of jeans were the ones you got over?

Jordan Ash Tommy Tommy. Oh, oh, fuck that's somebody really fucks with me. Yep So when I was 19 I got arrested for stealing jeans and as far to like how I got in the standup was I thought I was born a federal prison For Jean that federal what cuz I had credit cards and it's a deal of credit cards I had that in to you fucking piece of shit. I mean No, we have to say what you stole Because if you just say credit card for people automatically assume you're like funding Saudi weapons. Yeah. That's what you should. You're like, oh, you ran a whole fucking operation and not like I had

40 computers and fucking I'm getting into the main frame and we're gonna steal all the fucking. No, it was fucking me and three other guys and we bought jeans and then we would take them back and exchange them for store credit Right, so we would always make it a like we were trying to get a gift or whatever So no, I wasn't sure that shit this day. I don't wear Tommy jeans because I just feel like his bad luck It's bad luck. Yeah, I'm a heel fair. Yeah, but it was 98 that was the shit that one out anyway because the rumor About something though. This was after the Oprah rumor. Supposedly on Oprah, it's been debunked or I don't know if it's been debunked. I don't want to spread misinformation and get your shit flagged.

But supposedly Tommy Hill figure said he never made those jeans, he never made his jeans for black people. Which on one hand, you could take as when I made these jeans, I never imagined that it would become such a popular urban street where I'm on the other hand, it's what the fuck are these niggas doing when my jeans? And so the black human who's like, that's what it sounds like.

Right. But then I'm still, you know what's fucked up, man? How many people you think still in jail for shit that ain't in style no more? What? Like because I think about that. Like you just you just get sent to prison for still in Tommy Hill figure like Jordan. Like they asked about Jordan.

Because they know in 89, Jordan Ash and docker's I had to go to a fucking bugle boy. Bugle boy. I love you. Boy, you fucking wear that shit. Like that was the fucking card heart. You the boy you know the bugaboy you fucking wear that shit like that was the fucking card heart You go boy jeans with a shit and that one you boy. Why oh Kind of for it. Good. Yeah, I'm deep in the hood. No, I'm not digging a hood have you

What Jesus yeah, yeah, can't you just showed your ass view Yeah, but didn't that commercial that silly? Yeah, the guy was on the highway What she into those and he was beautiful Already we're doing was biting grape upon you have any grape upon this is from a big bend cox 69 I don't know this is gonna be good Ben cox or big bend cox 69. What was it like? Doing the white house correspondent dinner where any comics you, you bought any comics you bounce jokes off of? Do you have anybody help you, right?

Yeah, I had writers. Anybody we know? David Angelo's a regular at the seller. Yeah. Better comedian, better stand-ups that you know,o Philoneast mock out of Chicago. I have Philoneast. Yeah. Oh, you know, fun. Yeah. He wrote for Larry Wilmore show on Comedy Central back in the day. Cristiano and Bakway Medina was she was my head writer.

I had Philoneast on the show years ago. He's fucking great, bro. He's great. He's fucking great. But the cool thing was like bouncing tags off of people and we can kneel, Brennan and I can treat on free like you have writers but you have buddies you just go, hey man. Stress chest is thesis does this fucking. My friends, if they were going to do a roast, they would just try to wing it instead of writing jokes and go up with a napkin. Absolutely. Yeah. That's my friend actually went up and tried to wing it. And just, you know, just improv a roast. Why did two previous roast that winged in there and they're pretty good.

Not on that one. The worst bomb I've ever seen in my life. I brought my school habits. You did. To me, my approach was do stand up from a podium and have periods where you deviate from that performance style into roast of a personal or thing and then get back into doing material from the you know who fucking caught it and called it immediately. Did his show was Andrew Schultz. He said, you were doing tags

up there. I know it was an arose. You're doing that joke. That was a tag. That's a club joke. I was like, yes, you are correct. Yeah. I can sit the entertainment. Do it this way. God damn it. I got one ready. This along a big V. Sorry, this is a long question. Did his friend brutal humor help him his recovery. Did you off the stew, kid? Did you hit your friend's brutal humor help, uh, your recovery from the stroke. I had a heart attack years ago. I have, uh, I was 35 away to 27. I am six foot one, not exactly. Can they for heart attack three days out of the hospital. My friend had a salad delivered to my house with a note from Kevin

with with an order of wings with a note not for Kevin. This kind of fuckery got me through it. Just wanted your friends anything like that make you laugh during your recovery. Oh, all the time. When I first came back to the cellar. Yeah. And tell us all the time I dropped my cane. Now I wanted to pick it up. And Amy humor kicked it across the floor. And I was like, oh, shit, I'm back. I thought that good. But it's right called me Strokey Robinson. Strokey Robinson. And you What caused me Stroggy Robinson. Stroggy Robinson. And you're not like no buying a tree. You're like you.

Different. Yeah, you know, we treat it different. Danny, you wiped the corner of his mouth from right now. Yeah, you don't want to be treated any different. We'll be treated the same. Just the corner of his mouth. And I think he pooped.

Danny, if you come over here. Yeah, he gets it. I think he pooped his pants. I shoot you with my father one. He's a... Hey. come over here. Yeah, I guess I think he pooped his pants. I choose you my father one. Scrawl. I gotta know I'm kidding daddy. You're fucking autistic asshole. Oh, they just don't he's like a dutch. He doesn't get sarcasm. Is this possible? Yeah. All right, scruffy bones. Keith, when will you be putting a new special out instead of pandering to your health stupid get back on your horse. Yeah. Yep. That's a good one. What do you think on that? Yeah. It's whole. Well, it's true. Dude, get it done.

Get out of the way. You know what you should do. I have Roy direct it and pay for it. Roy's got the money now. He's got the money now. I heard. The kind of money I think I get. No, no. Roy's daily show correspondent. I'm not host. It's got the money now. I heard. The kind of money I'll think I get. No, no. I was daily show correspondent. I'm not host. It's 12,000.

I Googled your net worth. Yeah, can we Googles your net worth real quick? It's just 3 million, insulin. I want to see. All right, I'll tell you, it's 3 million. I want you to Google his and then Keith Robinson's and then mine. Some girl told me that. I know how much you are.

I'm like, worth and having my hand at two different What do you think Keith worth? Yeah, there you go. What is it? What are the junior net worth for a million? Three million if I'm not at least one million million I bet you're fucking a hundred I want to know how they calculate that I stop working for it. I wouldn't work for two years shut up What is it? What's Keith Robinson's what is it average? What does it say? It says one to three mil. Oh, no, no dude Keith Robinson the comedian. No dude. Not that I want. I want to say. Listen, now he's helped. I made a lot of money. Dude, I want, I made more money than that.

That's you. I want on the celebrity network. I made more money than that. You don't know that. You didn't mind up. You made up a three, two. What it, what it, what it, bring it up on this tight right here.

The tight. The real you there's a way too much. Typing Keith Robinson up in the corner or I'm going to break your fingers. This shit is like Wikipedia. The actual person with the facts doesn't get where it is. Any of this shit. It's not on it.

Is he type. So it's not. All right. You're seeing it. One of the real. You're not 59 years old. You live in wood. No matches found Keith Robinson.

There you go. That's you. That's you. You know, now type in Robert Kelly. I bet I'm a cool three mill with Roy Type it in I'm a high-proporty son. You're Robert Kelly. What is it? 300,000 That's bullshit

Fuck all you all right Bob is from Bob is broke. Bob is broke. Bob is broke. That's bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. mean filthy. You know, a lot of the wait for us to tell you. Hey, man. Look, I don't know if you heard about me too.

Can you settle the fuck down? I'm worth $300,000. I'm not partying with $500,000 of that. Why do you think they ain't come for ya? You know, being a Keith, when it's they mean you think started, being a Keith, we called each other up. Oh, shit. We're like fuck. And then a couple weeks in, we're like, we're safe. Being Keith what it's they me two things started me and Keith that we called each other up. Oh Shit, we're like fuck and then a couple weeks in with like we're safe

We're lucky we never made it Me and Keith would have been taking up big time fucking creeps. I've never If you ever tried to highlight a waitress in the club. Like not even on some like hollys. I mean hollered by takeer Boob up in the hallway before you go on stage. lick it nipple. Oh, what kind of world we going? I just wanted a consensual trip to Chili's. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha man, will you come with me to chillies up with the club? You were going to be this grub. And now imagine this. And that's somehow that was allegedly, by the way.

Yes. And then something out there and you know, that you're low back out. I hope that, you know, I don't want that coming out. Yeah. There was a girl when I was you don't have to answer this. 20. We're not this is right before you answer it. Hang on.

We're never going to make it. That worth this is it. you enter it hang on we're never gonna make it that worth this is it No, let me already Not in no metric. That's all these podcasts on these podcasts are just people coming on here richer rolling the dice I know Hey, man, you want to bet your career for an hour and a half? Sure, I'm protecting I? Sure. I'm protecting you right now. I'm protecting you. Well, I had sex with a girl with a condom when I was 20.

And she called me like a month and a half. It was like a one-night stand thing or whatever. I was still on college. She cost me like two months later. She goes, well, you wear in a condom? And I go, yeah. And she goes goes good. Cause I don't want to be stuck with you.

That means it's my boyfriend's. And then she just fucking hung up in my face. Wow. And my, wow, and my fear, my fear in life is like, you know, you go through those scenarios in your head or just what could be the most wild fucking thing. And I have two friends, not one, I have two friends where 14-year-olds just showed up in their fucking life, introduced for the first time to the sun when he's 14. Right. And I granted,

that was on some, the mom and never told them, yeah, I didn't want you to be, you know, like that type itself is shit. My biggest fear is just some fucking grown ass fucking kid just going, hey man, my mama living Pensacola. Do you remember being in Pensacola, Florida in 2001? And I just go fuck, you got me. Yeah. Wishing name, damn blood. Yeah.

Roy Wood III. That would be straight asshole. Yeah, so that's a Keith has a pop on a football team waiting for him somewhere. There's a there's a whole bushing. Like every time we read more work, they go fuck man yet. Yeah, that's the one thing. Same as net worth the same. It's from our point of view. That's the one they say when I said, not where are the same as from our four-

Wait, no, that's not the hit. Yeah. They're like, ah, he's only 300,000. That's not even a ranch. That's not even a better split level. No results. Yeah. Oh, that should be the name of your special.

No results found. All right, listen man. I, Roy, I'm so glad you came came on you know, we worked together on that Animation thing that was in slurry. Yeah, man. I thought that was gonna go if that went that would have been nice Yeah, hot animation just go to a sound booth Ranchy dogs, oh fucking love football. God. I wish that way on your plane dogs You know the dogs playing poker thing God, I wish that way. Oh, you're playing dogs?

You know, the dogs playing poker thing? Yeah. Well, Larry put a thing together for the Super Bowl one year where we were those dogs. And talking about the game. Talking about the plan and dog. And mission. Hip-hop dog. And something went coming up.

Hip-hop dog. Yeah, I went hip-hop dog. Yeah, I went hip-hop dog and I went. I was old school. Yeah, I was about to say you didn't get bars like that. Yeah, women, man. Oh, well, well, well. We know it was old school. Yeah, we know it was. Women, you're trying to challenge yourself? No, no, we know. I know you wasn't coming out little Wayne. Yeah. Oh, you call me? Oh, I get it.

Yeah. Hip hop, Hibby did the hip hop. You don't play to the of your rhyme flow. Before 1983, I'm assuming. 100%. Six minutes, Dougie, fresh your heart. Freaks come out at night. Freaks come out at night.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Freaks come out at night. Yeah. Well, yeah, we did a animation together that was on Fox Super Bowl. Great money. Cool time. And they were trying to pitch it as a show. Tell you what, that's the thing you want. I really would love a nice animation. Just a hit animation. 15 20 years. It's hard. It's hard to sell and break through. Like once you get it, yeah. Oh, that money, man.

You go in and you sweat pants, you're sitting a booth, you get your little snacks, your water. You're gonna do it at home, that's what I'm doing. Now you can. You know who really eats forever? It's fucking kid show animation. Oh, like Like because that's just like 30 episodes of the air. I'm shit, bro. It's way more than broadcast like network. Yeah. Like you write a good hit kid show. Yeah. Eat forever. It's like getting it making a good hit Christmas movie.

Yeah. Every year you get. Yeah. I made a Christmas go right now. I'm real quick. A couple of years ago and it did not hit. I did not hit. I thought it was going to hit. I played Santa Claus. I was perfect. Yeah. Well, it was. We like a raunchy Santa. No, it was just me, but I had a boss in accent. I was going to blow my head. Yeah. Santa's bald. No, it depends on the Santa. Are you out of your mind? Santa's bald. He's not bald. Santa has hair on the side. I've seen him with that flowing pimp perm. Should please bring up Santa Claus and I some Santa hat. Some Santa's have the white fro. Santa's bald guys. Yeah, pretty bald. Yeah, have the white fro. Some have the, oh yeah.

Santa's bald guys. Sorry. Yeah, white Santa's bald. Okay. Paul, guys, you might have a little bit on the back of the head, but that dome top of the dome. So what I have, if I grew my hair, I have that. I have Santa clothes here. Damn, I thought Santa had. Oh, man. What? Wait a minute, what? That does look like Bobby. Yeah. Bring up Robert, Robert, type in Robert Kelly Santa Claus. Type in it. Well, come up. I look, I was a fucking great Santa Claus. Wait, so this was shot and done it. It came out.

Yeah. You are lying. Robert Kelly is, it's pictures of our Kelly and a Christmas. Type in the truth about the truth about said Robert Kelly Wow Jesus Christ. She's there. I am right there. That's me. That's me. No, no the second one next to art Kelly That's me the photo. It says Robert Kelly says my name on it. You're fucking oh second down. That's me go down right there That's me Make it big. That's me go down right there. That's me Make it big that's me now Pull up frosty the snowman And you'll really see Bob

On the image of me. Where's that movie now? Can we watch that somewhere? Yeah, it's on Amazon prime I watched it with my wife and kid halfway through the movie my kid goes hey, can we watch something else Halfway through the movie my kid goes hey, can we watch something else? 300,000 I mean look he was in it too Max was in it. Go to go back to the cast You can see my kid was it I did it you know scared about not that shit, but your kid being in stuff and like No fucking them up like he wants the thirst for attention and all of. No, because no, it's, look, he's gonna do it anyways. If he wants to do it, you know, and I, everybody that I really truly care about

and everybody I truly think are awesome and geniuses and good people and the greatest parents are comedians and people in this business. So if he wants to do something like that, fuck yeah, go ahead. Yeah, look at that. Look at that. That's a boy.

It's a good looking boy. You're in a terrible left fielder. He's a good actor. He's not a good left fielder at all. He sucks. All right Keith, when do you think you're gonna get your special done? I'm in David, probably September, October.

Perfect. And what's it going to be called? I want to do different strokes. That's a good one. It's called. How about this? Two different strokes. Well, that's for different strokes. Sorry. Yeah, I took it too far. That's funny. That's funny. Stokes. What's the album? What's the cover? Is it like the old ghetto boys, we can't be stopped with a push and bush with bill on the hospital gurney? And that's what it should be like. Something like that, yeah.

Different shows. And it's down there when being on the hospital. This is you on the hospital gal. Yeah. I'm telling you, I hate saying it. I hate it. It's so funny. His new out, it makes me fucking sick to my stomach. It's pretty good

I might it's not pretty good, dude you murder Everybody and people walk out of the room. He's fucking murdering and we're all bummed out about it I know yeah, there's one had to be good Hey, man, still writing dude. Yeah, really fun unbelievable. I mean murders. What Yeah, imagine. Still writing. Dude, really fun. I mean, murders. What do you got going on, man? Dude, I'm on tour. Happy to be here.

It's the tour. I'm everywhere from Seattle to Miami. Roy Wood, during your dot com, if you want to pull up some dates. Cincinnati, Syracuse, DC, Lexington, Kentucky. That's in Brea, California. That's the next two months. That's awesome. Yeah, man. So I'm just happy to be back. I don't know. Two of the funniest guys going right now, Robert Kelly live.com. I'm doing my tiny house tour up in the Hampshire.

I'm going to be in Nashua. I'm going to be in Port Smith. I'm going to be in Lakonia theater. Robert Kelly live.com. Go there. I got a bunch of theater dates up there for this summer while I'm going to be in Port Smith. I'm going to be in Lakonia theater. Robica.live.com. Go there. I got a bunch of theater dates up there for this summer while I'm up at the tiny house. Of course, the bonfire. Check me out there on serious satellite radio, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday with

Big J. Ocasin. And make sure you subscribe to this Patreon. People you're the best. If you're not a Patreon member, you get the podcast early, you get extra episodes, and you get it live and unedited. YouTube subscribed, like and comment.

Danny, what do you got? I'm at comedy at Verve in Summerville, New Jersey the third Thursday of every month. This month, Jimmy Schubert next month, bottoming of Ireland. Maxi, what do you got? You can just follow me on

social media. Max Marcus comedy. Of course, you got Joe Russell, Act Joe's Russell and the cheese show. And at Mike V. Suarez, the other producer of the show, we got the three autistic tizzies and we got the serial killer mush. I want to thank all you guys for listening, supporting my show for all these years.

I want to thank these two guys for coming on. We'll see you guys next week on You Know What, The Podcast. con bolotea. La región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Friparás! Huelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. volotea.com