Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Rule #1

Episode Date: February 16, 2015

Robert is joined by Wil Sylvince, Brandon Collins, Tom McCaffrey, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Y qué es lo que es? En la network riotcast.com. Allí, cheque. Todo lo que es, es la idea de la FFFF.

Me necesito me a favor. And it's actually a favor to you. Okay, you know I like helping my friends out. It's one of the main things I do this fucking show for. Make sure you, this Friday, at 12 o'clock, on Comedy Central. Go right now, when you get home later, hit the record button, or watch it live, because you fucking

what's to cold go out. It really is, stay home and watch my friend Keith Robinson, KWR superstar to his first hour special. Okay, so make sure this Friday night, 12 o'clock, comedy central, tune the fucking, okay? And then tweet Keith, that you watched it

and how much you enjoyed it, even if he did it. Make him feel good. I think he's almost 50. So this Friday night, comedy central, 12 o'clock, Keith Robinson, tune in, did. All right, hey, what's going on? This is Robert Kelly. We're about to start the show.

A little, I don't know what this is. This is a little pre-show Okay, check it out today show we have a who's on the show today's Tell me who's in the show there, babe. Oh, we have that's deep who everybody Hey, how's it going? We have Brandon Collins boom. We have Will Solvins. Wow, and we have Mr. Tom McCaprey. First time on the show. I believe so. And we got Chris Scopo and of course Deepo and myself. It's gonna be a good show. I want to thank, first of all, twink.io.com. I forgot your headphones.

That's all right. I already bought a pair. Oh, fuck off, dude. You want to make it up to me. You can give me one of those cameras you got lying around. A camera. Yeah. Where? We did. Okay. We'll give you a camera. Deep who's getting a camera? Gotta move somehow. I feel terrible. I want to thank Tweakedaudio.com for amazing headphones and supporting the show through the

last couple years. You're a great sponsor. I also want to thank Roland, Roland Drums. V Drums, let me tell you something right now. When I learned how to play the drums it was on a Roland kit and I'll tell you why it was the portable kit It was around 600 bucks. It's amazing because you Especially if you're in a small place in New York City or you don't want to fucking freak out your your roommates or your wife or your kids I got it. It was amazing, you plug your headphones in, it folds up, it goes into a bag, you can take it on the road, you can put it in your closet, it's awesome. I just got the brand new Rolls Royce Roll

in the TD 30V, which is incredible, but I just want to shut out to Rollin' right now for they're amazing. If you guys are looking for drums, electronic drums, that are the best in the business Go to Roland dot com right now and pick yourself up a set of Roland drums What is that somebody fucking putting a drum set together outside? Jesus. What is that? So there you go. We're gonna start the show today. It's gonna be an amazing show make sure you subscribe

And review and I want you to subscribe on iTunes to the audio portion that you listening to. But if you're watching this, or you wanna watch it, go to our YouTube channel. Just go to ryecast.com, go to the YKWD page, you're right there in the corner. Every week we put together an amazing video for you guys on YouTube. We go live on YouTube.

It's an 18 camera shot, D-Poos, whose mix and everything up. He's coming up with new stuff every week. It's amazing. It's a fun way to watch the show. Very interactive. And if you're, you know, so when you're home and you're at your computer late night or you're on the train or you're in your cube, throw it on, go to YouTube, subscribe to the channel when a new show comes out. There you go. We're trying to get a lot of subscribers to that because we want to be able to use their studios down the road and do more stuff on YouTube.

So subscribe to this if you're watching it. Don't just watch it. Be proactive, okay? Be a fucking true fan of the YKW did podcast. Subscribe review and then, you know, don't need some money. No, I'm kidding, the last part. You can, but I do want to thank Ian and Heather, who always donate once a month.

You guys are the best. And everybody else who has, you guys are the best fans. Stay tuned for the, you know what, dude, podcast coming to you live right now. Well, good, well, good. To the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. That was trying to keep it like a comic can.

I have a bunch of guys on it. It's just us sitting down and sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's intense. It's rubber-killing. You know what? You know what? You know what? There's no topics, no directions.

But I love doing it. You know what? You're a cast, I come. Side! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! All right Whoa, we're fucking crazy today y'all for Christmas like something shitty after the job jazz up They're not Christmas. They're LEDs. It's they they Christmas like some saying technology man Don't tell me about LEDs. Listen man. First of all, I'm gonna tell you about LEDs Second of all the thing is it's not even high-tech. You had a guy controlling the remote control over there Dupu. No, he wasn't making it go fly with the music. No, he's not

There it is. I saw him switch First of all he was his switch and he was doing it. I can't even get an app the control your Christmas like First of all, he wasn't switching it. He was controlling the camera. It was a fade down on the fifth camera Okay, and I was definitely I was Touched to say time the lights were in blinking. I have the fuck you controls right here my friend. I was doing it Okay, so fuck you you were wrong. I want to talk to the lights. I'm sorry for the second half of that Dishies back apparently you know Listeners know who made it this week Jesus Christ, crazy, come out with like a fucking cannon.

Freaking the attacker, I might have epilepsy. People with epilepsy can't have these Christian slice flashing they face. That's not true. You have access. Hey, you got epilepsy, I'm about to flash. She's like, so much fucking lawn orders and CSI's. That's not true.

You can have flashing lights. Are you on medication? No, I'm not. I will be someday with this weight, but I will. I will be. If I keep this up, I will be, but not right now. I actually got a clean belly health last Monday. It's impossible.

I did. I went to the doctor's. You mean, no, but, but no disease. I believe that part. No, I didn't say that. I do definitely have some fucking, some dick disease, but she gave me a cream for it though. I have shiny helmet. Anyways, all right, nobody's on board on that.

Hecky sheaf. Hecky sheaf, I got it. He's over the gator. I hate it. So anyways, we, yeah, I went to the doctors and I got my heart checked. I have fucking, I went from almost high blood pressure when I was at my fattest.

And now in the last month and a half, back down to fucking normal. Great blood pressure. Back down. What's your cholesterol? I got blood work coming back this week as well, no. But I don't think it's that bad. I mean, I haven't had shit since the day after Christmas.

No sugar, no grains, no nothing. Oh, there. All right, so I've been doing fucking good. What do you mean, fuck? That's just, I can't do it. I don't have to displew forever. Why? I got, I'm on my six week no sugar, no carbs, nothing to do.

What do you need to do that for? Well, cause, I was getting frasagged. It makes me sick. Dick look even bigger. Yeah. Yeah. You fucking, you gotta nippin' in the butt early, man. When you let it go, then you be a Bob Kelly.

You got me. Whoa, oh, that's not fucking helping. I'm trying to help you out. No, you're hurting me. I'm helping anybody else out. Well don't hurt me. Look at Bobby Kelly nippin the book. Oh, what the fuck is that? You're gonna examine what not to do Bob. You should be a freaking hammer for all the people. I'm doing it now though. I'm actually working it out. You should be behind me. I'm behind you. No, you're saying look at me as the guy not to do Yeah, yeah, not to look like I don't know I will right there. Yeah

I learned how to speak will over the weekend. Shit. He would look at me. You could possess another body Dude don't say voodoo in front of will he gets me I actually had I went to the dentist. You know, I had his changed plans. I did I went from Obamacare and then I had to go back to SAG because I'm SAG eligible, so you have to take it and- You have to take it, it's probably just better. It's not. I mean, if you're paying that much for that fucking member, it should be based well. Well, I was on Obamacare.

When I was on Obamacare, they made me go to the ghetto dentist and it's fucking ghetto. I mean, you walk in and there's like a hundred people and then just let's go and some, the dude who's cleaning my teeth, I had a little voodoo doll, little keychain, they're kinda like good luck charms, you get them? And they come with, this one will bring prosperity, oh, they did jokes, it's a fucking joke.

And I had this little voodoo doll on my keychain and the guy was like, what's that? And I'm like, oh, it's a little voodoo doll. And he wouldn't, he was like, can you, can you put that in your pocket? Like he was scared of it. Who are, customer are the dentists? The dentist assistant, the guy who's about to

fucking use the assistant. Take X-rays of my teeth. Wouldn't go near me until I pulled the doll, the fake little doll. I got an airport in my pocket. So you ain't try to get a lower discount with the voodoo doll, like waving his face, like give me a discount of what I'm putting this.

Yeah, or he could have fucking took one of those cleaning utensils and stabbed me right in the temple, like corkscrew from the Steven Segal movie. Thank you, Chief. I got it. He's so good. He's good. He's good. Hey, let's go. But go around the Steven Segal movie. Hanky Sheef. He's going. He's going. You can't say that.

Hey, let's go. But go around the rummage and do everybody. I think everyone knows Will's here. Yeah, Will still fans every time. Well, some, man. Back. Brandon Collins is here. Hey, everybody.

Half of Keem Peel. What? YKWD's here. Haven't heard that one before. Yeah, you're YKWD's Keem Peel. And we got a first time, Tom McAfry's here. Hello. I'm a Catholic.

Tom McAfry, I'm a fan of Matthew, right? Yeah, we've met a while ago. How are you? I'm a great, good to see you again. And Tom is your first time on the show. This is, yeah. Thank you, thanks for having me. You got it, man.

You got a special and a CD coming out of what's happening with you. I have a movie coming out. What the fuck? Yes. Why were we here? Why were we here? Why were we here? Why was it just that time I'm

self? It's not as cool as it sounds. Tom is here by himself, basically. You guys haven't fairly said much so far, okay? We've already was talking. I know, I've been talking. Not to Brandon, you're gonna step it up a little. Come on, come on.

All right. But yeah, it's called Adventures in Comedy, and it's like a mockumentary about stand up And it's coming out like on Hulu, you know, like on Monday. Girls are funny like More snake women are funny Look can we just make a rule right now at the beginning nobody helps will Can we just have that? Yeah, let's do the funny from the show. I want to rule rule number one on why keep we've never had rules.

This is the rule rule number one. Nobody helps will I want that written in a plaque. I want it on a plaque. Okay. You know help. Uh-huh. So that was creepy. Where are you looking at?

That was skinny Bobby right there. That's skinny Bobby right there. That's skinny Bobby, shit. Yeah. So you have this movie on it. Now, who is it all your money? Is your idea? Are you with people with it? Yeah, I made it myself, but comedy dynamics. It's a pretty cool.

I mean, it's sort of big. I mean, it's going to be like on Hulu. It's an I-to I tune Amazon, iTunes. Do you know comedy dynamics like New Wave Entertainment? Yeah, New Wave, yeah. They're the ones distributing and they're doing it and also I have an album coming out. Does that Barry Katz thing? No Barry Katz is not no longer with New Wave.

That is Jack Vaughn, the great Jack Vaughn who actually started Comedy Central Records. that is Jack Vaughn, the great Jack Vaughn, who actually started Comedy Central Records. Yeah. The guy who, I mean, he picked Cook and Gerardo and Lewis Black and Mitch Hedberg, those are like his first people out of the gate. And now he's over there, Brian Volquoise. Yeah, who you see?

He's here though, he bought it from Barry Caz, how did that? No, they worked for new, new wave, Barry Caz and Brian Volquoise went to new wave from Barry Caz, how did it? No, they worked for new new wave. Barry Caz and Brian Volquoise went to new wave from Barry Caz's management, and it just became new wave management. And then Barry's no longer with them. He's on his own now, whatever fuck he's doing, the podcast.

And then she's standing there, just fucking drones on for hours. Does it really? He does his intros that just kill, and he like you see, oh, they're going to have fucking like talking about shipelle's career or something like that. And like he just ran it for hour and a half before he gets to interview with anyone. It's fucking annoying. That sounds fun. Sounds like being managed. And his voice. Where you got a kill

for 15 times. He got it. If jokes and drowning. Which one did you save? Because wasn't he... Wasn't he Dan Cook's manager? Let me tell you something about Barry Katz. So say what you want about the fucking Katz. He managed everybody at one time. But that's why you listen to the podcast because you know that.

He had Louis CK, right? He had them all. He had to fucking everybody at one Fucking time My money one time you got a whole whole I was I was running the Boston common club every Sunday And yeah, you took a piece of that pie. Yeah black black night. Yeah, which was fucking double shows every week around the corner Yeah, that was when you knew you're like really we're a New York City comedian, when you could do Will's and talents black night

over the Boston comedy club. That's, I used to be so fucking petrified. But you smashed it every time. Yeah, but this is what this cocks are going to do to me. Ready? I'm going to tell you what you did. Go ahead. All right.

I'm not going to help him. Apparently, thank you. Apparently it's a conversation we're gonna have. I get how it works. You don't have to tell me what you're gonna do. So he says, yeah, come on down. So I wait. Now it's black night, okay? So it's a lot of black comics and a lot of black people.

I'm waiting. So the show's long. I'm waiting. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's crushing. Nobody's not crushing. Nobody's not crushing.

So he puts me up at the end. They say, I thank you. Someone says, literally, says, good night. The lights come up. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We got the lights around. People have gotten up. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

settle down. Relax, relax. Calm down, calm down. We got calm down we will we will we will settle down what relax relax calm down calm down We got calm down calm down. We got one more guys white Says white Perfect give it up for bring up Robert Kelly man, bro. Let's go. They literally hit like people at a re and like The guy just people just crushed crushed and crushed you go good night. Wow Come down come down come we got one more after the lights and then brings me up now you go I let you do a little tyrant without any interruption. It's called it. Okay. What is it called again? I got it. I believe me. I am a fucking will professional

Okay, tyrant tyrant tyrant tyrant tyrant tyrant tyrant tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Tyrant Ty to do that, he had to go on. Not first, not second, third. I got, give me a third spot. He went on third and guess what? After he killed and smashed, and he killed and smashed that first time. He killed and smashed the third time, and he had to rush out of there. He would stay by the door to watch the other comic die. That's what everybody does, yeah.

No, no, but he specifically did 50 times when he had to, I got, get out of here. I got, get out of here. I got, get out of here. Put me up. Put me up third. You know, you go first and second. No, no, third, third. Okay, you go third. Smash it.

We all we all stay by the door and watch the other comedian. We all know. We all under his right. I laughed. I laughed out of my breath. How do you know I'm laughing? I watch you. If it's under something, I watch this before the fat.

So you had no fat, you couldn't hide it. I what am I fucking? I can't take your time. Take your'm taking time take a time take a time Take your time everybody calm down everybody calm down Ha ha. Did you do well that night that the time the first time you did you Well, it was a accident. I know was it. Do you just have a thing about closing shows because I've heard you on this show Even for all hours you're like I don't want to fucking close You just have a thing about closing shows, because I've heard you on this show and you can say something to me. Thank you, right about. Right, that's the thing about. Even for our lives, you're like,

I don't want to fucking close. Because I don't want to go away. I'll tell you why, I've been in this business for a long time. And because of, because I can do good, or whatever, in the way I crash, I'll be crushed, or whatever the fuck you call it. I do well, right?

When I do well, really? Yeah. Because I can do well, or whatever. I always have to go up last. I mean, all the fucking time. So what? But you also a lot of credits too. So you are the best show, isn't it? Listen, here's the fucking deal You did not make a good reason why you don't want to go last Tommy. How's the stupid ass excuse? I've been I go last all the fucking time when I'm headline and I go last

So if I'm coming down to do your show Uh, wherever the fuck it is, whatever hall it is, whatever, you know, because you got to pick it up and move it every, like the circus every fucking month. Okay, I'm not waiting till the fucking this guy and that and then someone pulls an onion and then you guys do a skit and then fucking somebody comes in with a clown outfit and then somebody sings opera and whips it, Ted out and then I'll give it a fuck you. What difference does it make if you go and do it? You're watching the middle? I had to the end. I had to go up. Why would you want to follow a titty? Come on, I've done it. I have, if there's

anything I'm going to fuck, hey I'll come up, I'll go on and I'm getting the fuck out and I'm going to another gig and I'll do another show. I go up last all the fucking time. I still do it. Here at the seller, always a blast. Okay, what's the, you're not saying a good excuse why you don't want to. So if I don't have to, if it's a fucking, if it's a fucking show where I don't have to, so you lies, I got another gig, I gotta get out.

I just say I'm not home to my house or my family Right, you know what I mean? So if I if I'm coming out to the city to do a show It's either gonna be the seller or the stand or something, you know that I'm doing if I'm coming to do some an extra thing I'm not going up. I'm not fucking waiting around all night for people who come here all the fucking time See I'm gonna come in go the fuck on and get the fuck out. If anything that I've been doing this this long, I can fucking go up where I wanna fucking go up on a show that isn't paying me, you know what I mean?

And then they always give, they're like, well you have to go last because you're the best. No one wants to go after you. But I'm not the best. That's you being, that's everybody being scared of me, saying, oh, I don't wanna follow, I don't wanna fuck you, I don't wanna follow you, but I've been doing it for 20 something years.

So you can do it. You do shows, you do shows with other headlines, let me tell you something, nobody wants to go. All fucking headlines, look, Boston comics come home. I had to go up fucking last. The least amount of credits on the show. I had to follow Jimmy Fallon. Cheese.

What about tonight? You know what tonight, right? What? Patrice and Nile on benefit. Not tonight, it's tomorrow. It's tonight. Is it? It's tonight.

Is it tonight? Yes, tonight. What do you keep saying tonight? When it's all, I pronounce my words, my letters and my words. Is it tonight? You want me to say it again? I'm not, you know I'm not on it.

I think he thinks it's tonight. Yeah, yeah, because you don't wanna go last. No, that's not, I never went last on that anyways. Billy Burrow is fucking. Billy Burrow closes it. Maybe always man's up and closes it. Yeah, he man's up. Yeah, no, I am.

He man's up. I didn't wanna go last because I did it two years in a row and Keith's not out of this year either, but it's like, you know, all right time to let that somebody else go in and Somebody else that you know let the show let's not make it but they're all I love that they asked me to do it And that's you know because I love Patreason is I'm gonna go down it. I thought it was tomorrow I thought it was Wednesday. Oh my god. You're gonna say again, Bob. I fucked up. I thought it was tomorrow

You're going on last. Let it go. I'll for you. I'm going tonight then. I'm going. What's that? Let it go. Why you keep saying tomorrow? Go to tomorrow. How can you always dress like somebody like a gorilla? A gorilla like a racer? Like a racer. You know what I mean?

Let me say some racist shit. I was going to say gorilla. I look like a gorilla. It's good. It's good. It's good. Not go. He looks like the bad guy in all those fucking what's the

still on movie? Bad boy. With. But he looks like the bad guy and all those fucking What's the still on movie bad boy with? We're not like he looks like the africa back at that still wants got to fight the end He looks like the bad guy that gets killed like is a badass and you think he's a badass and then the the star of the movie kills him Like three seconds, you know, you look like you look like that. He'll hold before he gets his superpowers that hero before he get his superpowers. Hang on one second. Hang his chief, hang his chief. Stick that right around your neck. Why is this my hand?

Can she smell like? Why you smell? Why you smell? How do you know what boy old nickel smell? What the fuck are you doing with money? What are you guys eat? Nichols and H. H. H. H.

H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H nickels are coming, calm down. Make sure you saw $10. So tell them. All right, anyway, so I want to go,

or host that, who said that? Tom. Sorry, sorry. No, that wasn't him, that was him. That was him, that was him, that was him. But you know what, no, I think Tom, she's taking because that was a good move. Yeah, yeah, he took it.

How do you know who's saying Tom? So Tom, you know, she and him got the same white voice. I can't tell, bram. All right, Tom, so you and him got the same white boys. I can't tell, bram. All right, that's fair. You do have the same white boys. So Tom, what made you, let's talk about this movie, man. What made you make this movie? What, because I made a movie, not a small independent movie

with Burr and Derosa, and it was, you know, it was a cheat. A cheat, yeah. And it was great to finally just do something and not have to wait for somebody to cast it or, you know. Right, that was in Tribeca, right? And we got into Tribeca, yeah. Yeah. I, well, I first wanted to make a documentary

about Dave Chappelle. That was kind of what my first idea was. This was years ago. But then the first person I interviewed for it was Janine Garofalo. And when I told her I wanted to do a Chappelle documentary, because I wanted it to be about how, you know, I love Dave Chappelle.

And like, I felt like he never really, I thought he would come back with like a special and like I'm kind of talking about what happened he never did. So I was kind of like, well, why didn't that happen? So I told Janine Garofalo about it. And she got did. So I was kind of like, well, why didn't that happen? So I told Jenny Graffalo about it, and she got really mad that I was gonna do that. Like, you know, there's a YouTube thing on that, right? About the Sheep Hell thing?

Yeah, there's like a, it's like two and a half hours. They just have clips of Dave Sheep Hell and Neil Brennan just talk about everything that they're here. And what happened to Sheep Hell, she's all that shit. Because I figured someone would do it eventually. Because the whole thing is like, I felt like I never got the real story of what happened, because the only story I ever saw him tell

was on inside the actor's studio, and he never really explained. So I was like, people really, were you really interested in this, but Janine Grafala was like, she was like, you shouldn't do this, she got really mad, it's a freak me out. Wait a minute, stop, why did she get mad?

Yeah, like what was the real thing? She was like, first she was like, does he know you're doing Yeah. Because she was like, first she was like, does he know you're doing this? And I was like, no, but I'm gonna try and get an interview. And she was like, he's not gonna like that you're doing this. And I was like, well, I'm a fan of his. It's not in like a negative way. And she was just like, you shouldn't do it.

Don't do it. And this is like when I'm about to interview her. And like, I've met her. I mean, I'm a huge fan of hers. She's kind of like an icon to me. I'm like, I'm a huge fan of. I mean, I'm a huge fan of her. She's kind of like an icon to me. And so I'm a huge fan of De Chappelle. I'm a huge fan of his too. So you can't at the same time.

Yeah, yeah. There's two of them. Yeah, I like both of them. I like both of them. I mean, she's an icon to me. You know what I mean? No, I'm a huge fan of De Chappelle. A huge fan of Janine Gowafalo.

You're right. Well, to me, she's like an icon. I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's the point. fan of fan of Janine Goffalo. You're right. Well, to me, she's like an icon. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no He just talked about her career. Kind of easy access to her. That's it. That was it. You're right. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that.

People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that.

People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. People told me I should do that. doing that, but I didn't really, I had a really bad experience. It was really terrifying interviewing her. She was really mad at me the whole time.

This is what I want to get to without you. I'm so you don't know. You have a podcast. Yeah. This one right here. Well, no, do you have a your own podcast? Do you own podcast? Do you interview people?

Yeah, I'm not. No, do you have a podcast? Not yet. Oh, good. Good. Don't get one because you're terrible. I think me and you should do a Jean-G-Groffalo documentary. We should collaborate. Oh So what happened with so basically

Tell me what the fuck happened that happened and I was and then I tried to get someone else to do an interview No, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop with that happen. I want to know what that was with you. Gras. Well, how did this interview go with her? Now she's it let me let me it. I wanna say it again. So she snaps at you right out of the gate. Now you're a fan. You think this interview is gonna go one way. Now it's going another way. So now do you have this interview?

Do you go forward with it and what happens? This is how the interview finally starts. I finally go, if you're really uncomfortable, you don't have to do it. So it's like rape, it's like sex. It's very upsetting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like uncomfortable sex. And she goes just do it.

Oh my God. That's how the interview starts. She goes, she goes, you got me here. She goes, you got me. And I like her stuff. I'm not, but it's weird to have like some of your huge fan of like mad at you. This is like sex with my wife.

She said the same thing. Does it do it? And she was like, you got me into the hamster. You might as well fucking do it. She said the same thing. Does it do it? It shows you got me into the hamster. You might as well fucking do it. Get it over, yeah. It was basically like that. Yeah, no, I gave it. This is what you're doing when you make things funny.

You may detail them, you fucking asshole. You don't just scream at them. Oh, that was supposed to be funny. Yeah, it was. No, it's not a hanky chief. I got a laugh out of breath. I mean, I throw it. And I got a laugh out of Tom. Tom, you don't have to fucking. I mean, I throw it. And I got a laugh out of Tom. Tom. You

don't have to fucking. Okay. Through it at you. You shouldn't have thrown to the Tom. He's a new guy here. So now. Yeah, that's it. So she she has just do it. Aren't you fucking don't you want to I'm terrified. Well, there's two things like I would be like go fuck yourself or you're terrified. Right. But the I go fuck yourself is coming from terror being you know afraid. Yeah. What would be too terrible.

What? What inside that she haven't shippled, though, like I don't recall. Well, I just wanted the thing was I was just going to ask her experience of like with success and kind of like how would I want to ask people how success affected them because I thought that was kind of an insight to that's completely, I get it, but that's completely different trajectories. They're like what I know went through and shit I was the thing is I was trying to figure out a success though

But when you get 50 million like after a week, what's the season of a show? Well, I mean she she was a big name and she kind of she knew him kind of and I think that's why she was so Defensive because I think she was like what kind of like well. He's my friend. I don't want you so anyway I got a question for you. Yeah, yeah, when you say when she said like what kind of like well he's my friend. I don't want you so anyway I Yeah, when you said when she said you what you got me here I what did you get her to get her to come out to for her? I asked her I said would you do an interview? I'm doing a documentary about success and how it affects people differently and I go IE Dave ship out and made me wear

What you see say you got me here so that it was like a place We were doing it was like at a restaurant. It was like an upstairs at a restaurant. All right, now let me ask you questions. Did you give her a drink? It was in her living room. Was Bill Cosby there? That's what I was supposed to do.

Yeah, he was my next interview I was trying to get. So really? No, I'm just kidding. So listen, so she, so she, so she, you go with this interview and she's like, let's do this. And now, so you start asking,

you have set questions, are you going off the cuff? I had set questions, but then I went off the cuff, because I didn't know how to broach Dave Chappelle anymore. I was so scared to ask her about it. So luckily what happened was she, I started asking about her career and stuff, and she was like more than happy to just kind of go off about herself.

And so she just kind of, and then the thing is I kept trying to end the interview because I was so uncomfortable. I was like a nightmare. And I would be like, yeah, okay, that's it. And then she'd be like, and also this. And then she would kind of go off on another thing. And she just talked about how she had been really huge.

And then it kind of went away. And she was like not happy about it. So it actually became like a really interesting interview. Wait a minute. She was really like frank about it. Can I say something? I mean, this is fucking crazy. I love this shit. So wait a minute. So in her eyes, she knows that she was fucking massive making

movies on TV, selling out places, and now it's gone away. Yeah. And she knows. And she's pissed about or she's bummed out about it. She's definitely she's bummed out about it. But she know why it happened. Is it better? What, I mean, what is, why does she think it happened? She, she made reference to, if you're a woman and you speak your mind, people don't like it. If you're a man, she was saying you can kind of like Mel Gibson can kind of do whatever he wants.

Because she says something. Mel Gibson, first of all, cannot do whatever he wants. He's drummed out of the fucking business. Apocalypse, though, the greatest movie of all fucking times. No, it's not. Okay, fuck you, dude. You're an idiot from Queens that fucking collects cash from fucking trash people. Okay, what?

Allegedly. Listen. Allegedly. So, he's not even the big kid. Allegedly Can't even get a fucking Oscar nod can't even get a movie and he did that Expendable he kind of does move Yeah Expendables the worst one to the Third one was never saw the problem because he was in it because it was leaked out

No, you can't say he did Jesus Christ. He's's a bad Jesus movie hang on that he said all that time I was before was it hang on Mel Gibson was the one of the biggest guys in fucking Hollywood okay he put all his money behind the passion of the Christ right he made millions apocalyptic if you watch that fucking movie okay subtitles I don't like subtitles I've watched it 25 fucking times. It is an amazing movie. Was that recent? How long ago was that? pocket lived a years ago. This is right right before he walked out How long? Right before he went off. Yeah, yeah, racial stuff and then it got snubbed not one nobody did anything with it No Oscar. No nothing for that movie, I believe.

So you're pointed by Janine, that, well, she was saying, but I mean, yeah, he's not as big as he was, but he still does movie. Like, she was saying she can't do, he said she can't even get an audition for movie. Yeah, but you say some shit like that, and also in the SNL book I read, she like went off like, she was the one,

she was a writer, SNL, that she talked about, like how women in the business aren't respected in lower micrances in respect here Yeah, and that's when like look man, right, right here's a did I brought up SNL and she got really mad about that Dude, she industry here's a thing though. I saw Jeanne and graphelos early stand up and it was funny Okay, that's it her movies. I always like Jeanne and graphel. Oh, I've I met her She's a sweetheart. Oh, she's it. Her movies, I always like Jeanine Grafilo. I met her. She's a sweetheart. Oh, she's cool as she is. She's cool as she is. Okay. I don't have that experience. But here's a thing though. She wasn't real sweet, but I mean, I met her in a very weird situation. But here's the thing though, is that as you piss off, as a stand-up

comedian, you got fucking, you always have have your comedy nobody can take away your comedy You may not get a part you may not be in a movie you know on TV or what blah blah blah blah But you can go and tell your fucking jokes and if you're funny people will like you and follow you and you can still do that She has to be still selling tickets. Oh, yeah She don't when she started coming back and doing stand up at Eastville, she was packing it up. So is she, I mean, is she doing road gigs? I think she just was doing stand up in the city a lot. That's what she, she basically,

and I mean, I still am like a huge fan of hers. And I, like I said, it was weird to be, how are you? Like, I am, yeah. She just scared, it's weird thing to like meet some of your huge fan of and then they hate you You know name you and you have to talk to them for a number, right to think like mad at you Go ahead what to go with those that way but Bob be every day

Two things number one don't we live in a time where now she could speak of voice and and she'll have an audience You have to depend on Hollywood for her career. She could like three things. I already said that but go ahead What's it to you? What's the two things? What's the second thing? Literally, you just said that. Literally, it went off a tangent, which you wouldn't be able to say, but you call it a tangent.

A tyrant. Just a tyrant. Yeah, you call it a tyrant. Is that the same thing? No, it's absolutely not. A tyrant's what I'm going to tell you guys is to have an 80. The second thing, watch a mouth.

That's not the second thing, but watch a mouth. What's the second thing is, you said the interview was uncomfortable. What was the most uncomfortable question you asked or is that she said that make you like, oh, shall we just end now? Well, he just said that he switched it all up. I finally asked her about half an hour,

40 minutes in about Dave Chappelle. And I was like, what do you, what, I think I asked her, I go, what is your take on what happened? Like, what do you think happened? Why do you think he left the show and why do you think he's never come back? And she was like, I don't know, I don't know.

And I was like, well, this is gonna be great for the Chappelle Doc. Can I look? It's just, because I was like, the documentary was just gonna be a bunch of people going, I don't know, I don't know why. That'd be a great documentary. Yeah, I would watch that.

I don't know. So then, and she seemed like annoyed. And I was like, so let's get back to your film career. And she was like, and then another thing she would be like, you know, I was never successful. I never had success. And I was like, are you kidding me? No, and I was like, you starred in movies.

And she was like, yeah, but not for like long. I'm like, you were like a huge movie star for like, did she ever own show? Yeah, Daria, everyone still loves that shit. Daria? There's chicks that dress like that all over. She's actually not, I don't think she's the voice of that. Yeah, but can I say something?

I don't think she's a writer though, she's a creator. She was, she's a little Daria, thanks. I don't think she did, I think she'd get shit for that. Is it Daria? She's also had the cartoon, right? She's all right, I'm not. She's all right, fucking keep going with the Daria, we get it, Daria. Fucking Christ, she was in a shitload of movies.

Yeah, she was a huge she was like the fucking way. What was the top movies? How high? Mystery. Cats and dogs. Cats and dogs. Reality bites. Reality bites. She was in Kaplan. Kaplan. So she did. Roman. I mean, the show. Roman. The show. She was in a lot of movies.

Interview with a vampire? Yeah, a part of a vampire. What the fuck? She should have been. She's like a little goofy, golf vampire. She was an expendable, three. Look, I don't want to bite you, but I have to bite you. It's what we do.

I mean, I'm not into blood. I really, I just see what made out of vegetables. She was reading it off her notes. She gives a really awkward interview in interview with a vampire She's pissed because you want to interview a Part of the pal she the guy keeps mine I bring that up So she was successful back to your things. I was I mean she just kept being like I wasn't I was like well You know, I was impushing it and then I brought up SNL and I remember SNL You know that was like a big thing because I don't even remember she laughed at SNL

and that was a big thing. And then she was like, well, I mean, people are still bringing it up to me, I don't know why, like you're bringing it up and I was like, it was like I couldn't win. I was like, well, that was the thing that happened. Can I say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, okay, she was in SNL. She was popular on it, but popular like Robert Downey Jr. was popular in it and out of it real quick, correct? She evident it for longer. Okay, so she's in it,

but then she breaks out of that and she becomes that chick, you know, not the hot chick, but the chick that you wind up marrying, right? Oh, yeah. And then- She was the excessively hot chick. Yeah, she was like Sarah Silverman basically, right? Sarah Silverman is so hot now though. Yeah, okay, and she was the excessively hot chick. Yeah, she was like Sarah Silverman basically right? So someone was so hot now though. Yeah, okay, but she was kind of like that.

It's, Janine was hot, but she was unconventionally hot. Good looking, I would say, right? Like guys thought they could get someone like her. Yeah, like exactly. And then she goes off, and then she becomes, but now, now here's a thing too, she was always against physical beauty, always against what people thought women should look like. Didn't she get surgery? Like, did she get some type of surgery? Um, I think, I think she got a breast reduction at one point. I read that. She said early on she did that because she didn't want people to just be staring at her boobs.

I read that. I'm not don't quote me on it, but I think- You didn't ask her about that? No. Are those real? Are those real? I know you don't want to talk about Dave, but are you titties real?

Yeah, yeah. We talked about that for about an hour and a half. The other thing is interview end in, I was like, okay, that's it, and then she wouldn't leave. I will point though in the interview, we were like, fuck. Like, to begin, I got it. I got it.

I got it. Like, shit. When I turned to the camera guy and he was start filming because she literally said just do it. I wanna ask you something. So she, at the end of the interview, you say, okay, that's cool. And what do you mean she won't leave? We start, she starts talking to me in the camera guy

about these cool stories about her career. Like she was supposed to be in some movie with Chris Farley, like, you know, that book, Confederacy of Dances. Yeah. She says- Colin Quinn's favorite book. Oh, is it really?

Soderberg was supposed to direct that with Chris Farley and her starring. Wow. And she said she saw Stephen Soderberg on the street like a week earlier than this interview and was gonna like, and followed him, was gonna say something to him, like, hey, remember, but she didn't do it and

What happened to that movie is just yeah, well, I think they were gonna do Chris Oh, yeah, but then they were gonna remake it with Jonah Hill at some point or something I see that she but then she just she was just telling like very Insighty stories about her career that were look and I say something though, that's how weird this business is. And, you know, I think Chris Rockshadow on Stern, who he was like, look man, you know, I know all these funny people that are crazy funny, that never made it

because the business wasn't ready for them. When it was time for them to go, the business wasn't, he goes, the business was ready for me. And it's like that moment where if Farley didn't die and they made that movie and that movie was a fucking hit, you don't know where that could take you. You know what I mean? You don't know where the fuck that takes you if you do that,

but you don't know where it takes you if it doesn't. You know what I mean? Right, right. So it's, for her to think that she's never made it or she, she's not in, like she's doing bad now is right that's fucking not just that but Didn't find success you have dobbie you got all sent in live you got the movies to TV like those are the four things She conquered whether she has short lifespan. She still did though life. She's alive Yeah, I mean, so but not dead. So I'm not

trouble with stuff or questions. career span. Yeah, not lifespan. So people also have a fucking warlord. All right. I thought you said don't don't correct will. Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. Life's band. You're right. That's rule one. Yeah. That's correct. Well, you're super will you you broke yourself. I broke it. I can break it though. That's real too. only Bobby can break rule number one this again like the dream go Buffalo interview it is I'm sorry I'm sorry one second who who who who do you go off oh okay what excuse me who do you go off oh that sounds right to me it's close it's like you're looking at me like I like I'm the guy who like knows how

to pronounce it the best you know yeah the yeah, the slightest guy in this room. So now when did she leave? When did she go all right? She finally... And did you banger? No. Well, I mean, I mean, that goes with that saying. She's hot, I think she's hot.

I always thought she was hot. I think she still looks great. She still looks great. I still think she looks, I mean, she's just my type of chick. I love with the less of titties. Huh? With the less of titties. Huh? With the less of titties.

I'm, yeah, I, look at, I really don't like boob reductions because the way they do them is very Frankenstein. Who likes boob reductions? Well, some girls have, some girls are too big. Some girls has way too big titties. This is not about back problems. And they get back problems. I was with a girl who had fucking massive titties.

Well, how long has titties? I always thought she was perfect, don't come on second. She had massive titties, and then she got the boob reduction, which they were still great titties, fucking awesome titties. But the scarring was so fucked up

because they have to slice the nipple off, slice down and then make like a tee under. So it's like when you see them, they're not gonna be good titties ever again, cause it looks like someone made them. Yeah. Like Frankenstein titties. He's the banger in the dark from then on.

Well, Jesus Christ. No, I wanted a genius didn't like you. No, I was so nice to her. I was so, that was a funny joke. Yeah. So then she tells you all these stories, and then she says, all right, I'm outta here. Well, this was the funniest part,

I mean, not the funniest, but like she finally leaves and then like there were a few people there and I start being like, man, she was really mad at me. You know, I'm kind of talking about how awkward it was and how it was really horrible. And then they're like, she's in the bathroom like right there and I was just like, yeah, this is just getting better and better.

So like I think she, I wasn't saying anything bad, but I was talking, and it was just like, yeah, this is just getting better and better. So like I think I wasn't saying anything bad, but I was talking to you. And it was just like fuck. I was like, she just won't leave. When can I finally talk to that? No, no, in my mind, I was like, I just can't raise. I just was like, when can I like be uncomfortable about this alone? Well, she's a big, she's on this show a lot. She's a regular on here and she listens all the time.

So she'll hear this. She's gonna love that. I mean, yeah, yeah. mean yeah yeah I'm kidding dude you really think she listened to that fucking this handball I don't think she has any because I've asked her to about the internet she's like yeah I don't even have a computer like just that email yeah yeah she does that at least such what she said this was like two years ago so basically what happens I gave up that I scrapped the idea for this health thing and then someone was like mess years ago. So basically what happened was I gave up the, I scrapped the idea for the Jipel thing. And then someone was like, You know how mess up your, your direction

and the way you want to go. I mean, start at point, I'd be like, fuck it. I got to, I got to recalibrate my expertise. Well, and then people were like, you're never gonna get Jipel to do an interview about this. And I was like, I'm not gonna spend eight years trying to get a Dave Jipel interview.

You know, great that would be, an eight year fucking movie. Journey. And then you get it. Then you get it when he You know, great that would be a year fucking movie. Journey. And then you get it. Like, you get it when he's like, like, it's even longer. Yeah. And Dave's old, like, missing a tooth.

Yeah. He's gone. Yeah. But then if it's not a good interview, I've just wasted my life. He's trying to kill Neil Brennan. Why didn't go and do Janine go

off-flow on? As people kept saying, because I was terrified to contact her ever again, and be like, hey, Janine, can I follow you around and I won't have a great TV though. Well, so what happened was I watched, I scrapped it and then the guys I was working with were like, why don't we just do like a stand-up documentary? And I was like, well, that's kind of been done. Like, I don't want to just do another one. So like, I was like, why don't, and I watched Janine Garofa Lowe's interview and she's all just talking about how her career, she was kind of like mad

that things had fallen apart. So I was like, well, there's a lot of, I've even seen an interview like that in a, in a document. That is a, I'll tell you, man, when you tell me the story about the day ship and the moon, that really, that type of shit's interesting to me to know because we all think that, you know, once somebody's on a TV show, or blah, blah, blah, they're set for life somehow. They have money forever. And you don't understand that that money goes as fast as you make it yeah and then you have and the this fame is fleeting for a lot of people and to have somebody who you think for all of us to think that she's just fucking somewhere in a

loft in San Francisco fucking writing jokes and doing sold out shows in some weird fucking unique space in Brooklyn. And then to find out that she's petrified or scared or bummed out that her career is kind of took a dive, that's fucking interesting. And I think comics especially should know that, right? And she, one of the most interesting things she said was all the time people say to her

no offense but you look like Jeanine Garofalo she gets at all the time and then she's like what and then they're like what happened to her and then she's like it's me they say they say to her no offense she looks like Jeanine Garofalo. I know the last time you guys saw our people don't recognize her she looks tired. Yeah they just say that they yeah, you recognize her because you see her at comedy clubs, so you know it's her. If you see her on the street, you're like, oh, that chick looks like Jean-Garafala. Just to let you know that we have,

I want to really quick, Deepu, we have a brand who, I don't know if you guys can see this. Tell everybody what it is. Deepu set this up. We have a guy Jason Chaffin, he's drawing. Oh yeah, Jason. Jason, right now, lie. He's treating it, by the way. Let's know, Jay, I want to drawing. Oh, yeah, Jason Jason right now live Oh, what's up, Jay? Yeah, so it's cool. Let's have a more Australia if you guys are in the chat room

Or if you listen to this audio version you go to YouTube and go to our YouTube page And you can see all these drawings are actually in the he's pretty fucking is that the king ping from spider-man That's me you So see brought up why don't you go for that role king thing the kingpin for spider-man. Yeah, let me tell you double Do nothing. Okay, here's a deal. Here's a deal. This is why this did I I might have went for an audition Those those roles those type of things are taken, okay? Those roles, those type of things are taken, okay? You understand, there's a lot of fucking people in front of me. There's a lot of people, when you, like a superhero movie,

even a superhero TV show, there's so many people in front of you for those fucking. So you tell me that guy who played Flash, yep, nobody, no one heard of him. Did you, nobody heard of him in your world, in acting, I guarantee he was somebody Well, I guarantee Tom see the white world you heard of the flash Playing the flash I what's his name exactly that's my point Bobby. Oh, yeah, I mean

So you should play the kingpin I guarantee that in somebody in front of him I don't I was busy. I'm I've been in the halftons in my white world Oh, I haven't gotten to the I used to have no I'm just kidding I just picture that that's he said white world He's gonna assume a by now the dry sarcastic. Yeah, it's very English, but it's without the accent So it's tricking me up you for me. No, you know, I was going along with the dry humor. I like it No, but I they're absolutely there's a fucking is so many people in front of you for that

Shit, I'm telling you man. Thank you so much for that shit man. I would you play the king pink look man I'm not a king pin a pink say ping. It's yeah, it's it's actually Chinese. It's pink. It's the king King eyes not that I fucking love you and hate you exactly at the same time. Thank you. The exact same amount. Thank you, King Ping. King Ping? King Ping.

Well, it's, it's, it's, so this movie now, this whole thing gets switched up. All the gears get changed and you have to go make a movie. Now you're right. There's been movies about stand up comedy and yeah, some of them are good and some of them stink. I think some of them are good and some of them stink. I think some of them are good. My whole thing was like, I wasn't going to get, like, what, there was a movie called I Am Comic and they have like every huge community in it.

And I was like, I'm never going to get bigger comedians than that. So why am I going to try and just do that shitty? So I was like, do you remember the movie Anvil? Have you seen that? Yeah. Which is about that group from Canada that never really made it. Yeah. Did you know that movie?

They were like this rock group that came up with all the big rock groups, like Guns and Roses, but they never made it big. Huge. And then when that movie came out, they build it as like the real life spinal tap. And spinal tap is like one of my favorite movies. So I was like, oh, why don't I do the spinal tap version of all the comedy documentaries? So like do spinal tap of standup comedy.

So that's what I wrote a script. And I got to, but I used a Janine interview to intercut it because it's supposed to be me. Like, I, because I do standup, but I hadn't done it for a while. And it's supposed to be like, I'm trying to come back and record an album. So it was following me around getting ready

for the end everything. It set up, you know, like Kirby enthusiasm style, but like everything that I have to go through the shitty. So I compiled every shitty thing I'd gone through. And then there's interviews throughout, like Jim Gaffigan did an interview, Margaret Chau, Michael Che, isn't it? And I use the Tyler. And I use a lot of the Gene Graffalo in every because she just talks about,

you know, because it's supposed to be about how hard it is, no matter what level you get to, it always, you never, you still have like a hard time. You know, you should get it. I saw her like two months after that, and I was like, you know, I was like, oh, she'll definitely remember this because she was mad at me for like an hour and a half.

And I was like, hey, what's up? And she was like, hi, how are you? Like, just kind of like looking at me like, and I was like, you know, I was like, well, like good up? And she's like, hi, how are you? Like just kind of like looking at me like, and I was like, you know, I was like, well, like good, I'm glad you don't remember that. Okay, you know, you should get one of my favorite comics and he had a roller coaster type of Korean, by, and he, and he, but I call it,

I call like the rising fall, then rise again, a cat Williams, that's where I'll, you know, cat Williams. Yeah, yeah, of course. Like isn't he sort of like, you know, in that, he was like, should night was like managing him or something? Well, she was like, not gonna be able to play. Yeah, yeah, of course isn't he sort of like in a in that he was like should night was like managing him or something Security But that's the thing he was so much Yeah, but he never fell off because he packs they like he packed did it like last night in the land

Atlanta 18,000 people okay great, but that has nothing to do with he changed the whole thing It's a mockumentary now, right and it's done I thought it was tomorrow and it's done. Do you listen? So he would have the sequel is pep and baby. Oh the sequel. What's that gonna be? It's pep the rise and fall of cat Williams. You know, rise and fall and rise again a cat. When that's what I will call it But he never fell. Yeah, he pretty much But he never fell yeah, he pretty much Never fell but he had it right down like you fell in your personal life

But your career still is like hi. Who are you talking about me personally? In general cat Williams he in his personal life You went to a lot of trials and tribulations what nothing So so so this movie is a mockumentary now So you went out to make a documentary and that that first interview just sent you down a different path. And it's about you. Now did you come up with another hour? Did that happen? Um, yeah, yeah. You mean, uh, you shoot an hour at the end of it? Uh, I recorded an album and the new wave is putting out that's, it's like 40 minutes.

So, like, coincident with it, though? Yeah, yeah. So it's called the adventure. Because the movie ends with me recording the CD But I I don't show any of it. It just shows me going on stage and doing it But is the democumentary is that like are you making fun of yourself in it? Cuz do you want already confused like concerned about people get confused or actual CD and the character or whatever you do in the Machuementary well, I think the the the character is basically me, you know It's very like her and Thruziasm. It's where Larry David is basically Larry David.

And I'm just kind of reenacting shitty things I went through in the comedy industry over the years. You know, like my manager, shitty and doesn't, and promises things and never gets anything done. And, you know, like I go to- Who's your manager? In the movie? Yeah.

Um, this guy, you you know Barry Rothbard is? Oh, I know her. Oh, okay He's a he's a he's an L.A. He's like a comedian, but he acts too and stuff He was he was in that movie wolf of Wall Street Part of that Sure, you can't his microphone right in front of you Now let me let me get the whole question now, cause I know you're gonna like, like,

like to interrupt people. I don't interrupt anybody. I try to, I, I, I, you interrupt me, say, not interrupt. I, but you, you fucking said something that was wrong. So I'm not gonna let you just, why are you interrupt me, say, not interrupt? All right, go ahead.

We're doing the watching. Just go. With, with with the with Jesus My god, you got it to rap you What are you fucking a kung fu master? Knowing that no one that documented don't find a lot of success Why would you focus on your dog mentioned not like a movie like Half Bake Friday like a simple movie like that's a very black movie. It's very black.

Black. Black. Day of Chappelle and the only one. Yeah, but they would only black one in there. Well, yeah. Um, true. Wait, so wait, why didn't I do the movie? Like, it's been doing a simple comedy movie like that way like well because I you know

I was trying to get into film make I'm really into film make I studied film and I wanted to do a low-budget movie like a narrative But I don't have a lot of money Have picked it's like a million three million dollar movie like that's a lobe that's low-bud. I know But I don't have three million dollars. He's talking low, low, but he's talking about like 40 grand. Yeah, we're talking independent film as versus a low budget movie. Yeah, you could, that was filmed shot for 40 grand. Well, like Lena Dunham, you know, from girls, like her first movie,

she shot for like 40 grand. There you go. But that's, yeah, that's what I went out set out to do. That's what she did. That's what I did. That's what I did. No, that's what he did out set out to do that's what she did that's what I did That's what I did that no that's what he did. Oh, she yeah, you look like Lena Dunham. Thank you I guess I'll I think it's my body. I would happen to her Yeah, exactly right there so

I don't want it to rock. Are you done? I'm done. Okay, great listen. What the fuck? I mean Jesus Christ so. I know, too. So that's a mockumentary, because documentaries can look low budget, you can get away with. So I was like a mockumentary, you can just kind of look like low budget. It's something that you can't. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, successful mockumentaries out. What's up? Stop, stop, stop, stop. Every stop. Go ahead. The three tops, successful mockumentaries. I ain't got one second, guys. That's the go ahead. One more time. We can't correct you, man. I got one second guys. That's go ahead one more time. We can't correct you man. We'll one correct. The three top successful Mark of my two. He's down out. Well, I mean like spinal tab is

successful one. Yeah, and then they did they did another one. Best show. What's the fucking other? I mean, I want one about Will speaking. I want can you next one? That's my next one. Please be about this. Is this book for the cake speech? Oh, yeah. It's Machu meant Machu meant Machu. Machu, Machu Valley. No, it's not like it.

It's what sound like. Machu, yeah, yeah. New mentally. The curb your enthusiasm is Machu menoried, but it's a show. Machu said the end. Machu menoried. You're a Malcolm X. Listen, you're a mush mouth. Shut the fuck up.

Listen, God do I love Will, so Vince. Makhomantomo. Ah. You know, I got my speech impediment. He doesn't have a speech impediment. He just talks from Haiti. He talks too fast. He doesn't take his time.

It was so weird when you're on stage. You know, it doesn't come out at all. I don't say mockument to me. Yeah. I'd stay away from worries I can't say. So now where this film now, is it with New Wave? Are they putting it out? Yeah, New Wave has a branch comedy dynamics

where they distribute mainly specials, but they're trying to get into original feature programming. Where is it going? Are you going to put it in the theaters or go Netflix? No, it's going to Hulu because they have their own channel on Hulu. I tell you what, Hulu, I just got into Hulu. I was in Netflix. I love Netflix, but Hulu's starting to, their original content is great.

Deadbeat. You ever see that show? No, guys, I've talked to the club. I've talked about it a few times and a lot of New York comics on it It's a great show. It's just a goofy fucking broad comedy. That's really funny I love and the lead is he's really feeling you guys much content like Netflix on hulu Yes, you can but it's different. It's stuff. You can't get on Netflix It's like live shows like if you don't have cable Netflix. It's like live shows, like if you don't have cable, you can watch like scan the word to fuck the next day.

Like you don't have to pay to get like, that shouldn't be real time if you don't care about it. Yeah, like Netflix, you have to wait a while of the next season for it to be the whole season to come out. Hulu, you can watch like the next day. Yeah, it just shows. It's like the show version of Netflix.

Yeah, yeah, they're trying to compete with Netflix because Netflix is like blowing, like Netflix is on a new level now. Like they're almost becoming like a movie studio. You're saying the Daredevil is so good. That's the Daredevil series is like, Oh yeah, is it good though? I, it's not out yet, but I know,

but if it's gonna be like house of cards or any of the other shit they put on, yeah, it's no black. Yeah, it's, yeah, orange is a new black. I love that, I love that. I love that Jason is he's actually drawing will right now. I don't know what it's gonna be,

but it has a fucking nice. That's so good. Oh yeah, let's get my eyeballs. They he's my eyeballs and that thick. Yeah, they are. I'm not that thick eyeballs. That's one of the bad things about me. I ain't got no eyeballs.

You got eyebrows. We're looking right at it. The way I see we shouldn't show them. He's gonna judge. He looks very arachy. Yeah, well, he does. Yeah, look at him. I'm looking right at Will.

He looks like a terrorist. But how's he, that's just because he didn't add the brown in. Yet, the brown. The brown, your brown skin. Your brown skin. You're basically white in that. He has to add some... What does it say? What does it say?

It's mumbo jumbo. It says blooms, you have booms can't but do do do do do. It says mockumentary. So you got this, now you did all this. This is all your money or did you raise money? I did a Kickstarter and I raised some money. For $4,000? No, I raised like 10 grand on the, actually Indiegogo, not Kickstarter.

Indiegogo, 10,000 yet. And then I had other money that someone gave me that I put in. It was like 30 grand. I was like, you always have on the money. Like some of my family members. So now, are you gonna be able to, let me ask you this, are you gonna be able to make money your money back? I hope so that's a big thing. Oh wait you'll do buy it? Well, comedy dynamics did and there and their distribute. Yeah, yeah, so how do you make money? How much they boy for? Not a lot. Well, you can't say that where you can't say the numbers

I'm like embarrassing. No, no, I didn't make it. No, he told us that Janine Gavafalo story. It can't say that where you can't say the numbers because it's like a bearer say no Tossed Janine go off a low on story. It can't be more embarrassing than that Like like like 10 grand and you make money I think it's you so if it gets really bullied you and Let him like me. I understand. It's my show. He just fucking what it what the fuck why you He saw for 10 grand what's wrong with that? Why is that a big white that's sick? He scares me as a very Janine Garofa So you so the five grand well yeah, and but the whole thing is yeah exactly You take five off whatever the number is in the it's access to like how many chicks you but well though the thing is you make money from the stream

Like it you can make a lot of money if it a lot of people watch it. That's the main thing What's so I offer the ads and shit like how does that yeah? I think it's who ads or people who have who sign up for Hulu plus yeah Yeah, if they watch it, but that's how much people watching on yeah, and with every view you get Want to put Mulligan that's Doing that What do you think he's recording? Not gonna talk about that you had to bring this out of him

That's what I do. That's my job. I fucking get everybody talking. Finally, finally doing a good job. Thank you, thank you. He finally added color to your face now. So now you look like Will. So you call him your color?

No, I'm an aesthetic color. The color. Call me color. Like this is 60s. No. I said he added color to your face. You'll say great to your beard, too Yeah, the little gradient beard mom had no gray my beard. Yeah, and why do I look so sad? Oh, shut up fuck up All right, well now what's the name of this movie brother? It's called adventures in comedy adventures in comedy

Yeah, and how long is it it's 80 minutes? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wanted to show. Actually it was shorter, but they were like, Hulu has, it has to be at least 80 minutes. Oh, I was not bad. So now it's a random record. So you see that? I know, that's not so too.

So I had to like, they're like, can you add 10 minutes in the next week? I'm like, yeah, that's really easy. Is you with your iPhone? So anyways, this movie. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I really said, I would, Janine. The, the, the Janine did lead the scenes. I just do a 10 minute dance sequence at the end. You're trying to get a day with Drew Barrymore on that movie.

That guy made me. Yeah, remember that? Yeah, yeah. Which was actually pretty good. I never saw it, but he made that like 10 grand or something. That's it. Something like, he shot in a really shitty camera. I met him.

He's actually a pretty cool guy. And he dated, he went on a date with Drew. Didn't fuck her. Right, right. I know a guy who did. Really? He ate napussy and he looked up and he went, ET form. He went, he went, he went, cool guy and he dated, he went on a date with Drew, didn't fuck her. Right, right. I know a guy who did. Really? He ate in a pussy and he looked up and he went,

E T phone home. And you get really pissed. Oh, he did really do that? That's a fucking weird way to- Wow. Like, he's a little chill in E T. I know that, but that's hilarious. You don't even think that's fucking funny?

You don't do that when you're like fucking her though. He was eating a plate. Well, it's pretty good time to do it. Dude, when he's supposed to eat that, come on. I mean, there's no plate. Well, it's pretty good time to do it Dude when he's Come on Let me get that size about how wash you was No, but you want to get more depth of that you don't want to just like right down dude. That's the story I'll take fucking not blowing a nut having that story. Yeah, I could have been me dude I was eating you fun. I love that story

Fuck you. Yeah, you want to force it to be funny, man? I really was bullying him into making it funny. And it almost worked, too. I got him his head. That's a nervous laugh, man. Listen, so the movie is there now? It's in February 20th. And that's my album's coming out the same day.

What's the name of the album? Adventures in comedy. It's supposed to be like the album that I end up doing at the end of the movie. And so, okay, so you watch the movie first. Yes. Watch the movie on Hulu plus. Yeah. Or I tuned to Amazon or. Okay. And you go watch that and then go get your album. Exactly. Because that will be, you'll actually see, it extends it a little bit. Yeah. And I don't want to give anything away, but well, kind of what happens is I record my album

but you don't see me record it and then it cuts and now the album has made me the biggest star in the world so that's supposed to be the thing. Star like Kevin Hart, Star like Star like the biggest star. I eat you Barrymore. Yeah like at the end Drew Barrymore blows me. Nice. Really? Yeah. I don't want to give anything I was so really talk about Kevin Hart's a tough so and and I want to talk about that little motherfucker We're gonna go on a little break right now and pay some bills But I want to talk about that little motherfucker and and some other people When we get back so people in the actual live

Chatroom watching the video live you stay tuned for another 10 minutes. You guys listen. What are they saying on the chat room? Well, you want to go to them real quick? Yeah, real quick. All right, let's go to the chat room. Yeah, sure. Back when we were talking about Jeanine Graffalo. Fuck you. Yeah, we stop. This is D-Poo chat. Yes, there's Bob chat. There's my chat. So D-Poo chat, go ahead. Back when we were talking about Jeanine Graff digital 303 s is I think she's better Fuckio TV says she was in one of the best TV shows of all time Larry Sanders show Yeah, that's yeah, it's a great show. Yeah, she had a big part in that. Yeah, it's kind of like was one of her first thing

So she had a good so good she had a good career I've been still a show she doesn't know a lot of stuff. She had a good career. She did a lot of stuff. She had a good tear. And now it's kind of folded for whatever reason. But you got the best part is we have our comedy, right? What else they saying? Jaws says, Derosa is a fat titted bitch. What the fuck?

Why would you pick that one out of all the ones that you can't read? There's not a lot in shed. I was just a scripting right there. I'd now go to Bobby Chad. Yeah, Bobby Chad. Bobby looks like Apocalypse from X-Men. Damn. Where's that? I don't even know who that is. Apocalypse is in shape though. That's like a X-Men's Doomsday. Apocalypse is in shape though. He's like in shape.

He got muscles everywhere. Yeah. That's about it for now. There's not much else. That's not exactly what it's meant. That's about it for now. There's not much else. That's not the exact... Dupu's on chat chat. This is about him, Bobby. Bobby just said Bobby looks like a mid. I don't like that D-Poost chat.

My Bobby's chat is still D-Poost chat. I don't like that. You didn't read Bobby's chat. Well, we created this illusion that there's two different chats and I saved the best lines for your chat. I want to go to this, what's that say? Fuck yo TV says his turkey gobble technique of eating box see this makes sense. I got to screen these Bobby's dirty talk is hilarious

Of course he's eating something that's not funny. Remember what I said about alienating the audio audience shut up We don't alien them. We're trying to get them over there and it's my show And if I want to read my fucking channel read my chat people people are jogging at YMCA and they're just confused. People who are jogging at YMCA who are confused know that you can go home and watch the video portion of the show. They can. And you can see what we're talking about. What is going on? We're going to take a break we'll be back in two and two. Go. Yep. All right, we're back almost. But we got to pay some bills. First of all, I want to thank all you guys

who have supporting our sponsors, tweedaudio.com. For inexpensive headphones, not cheap at tweedaudio.com. Mike, non-Mike, a bunch of different colors. I have them. I got to give D-Poo a couple pairs, because he keeps bugging me. I I gotta give D-Poo a couple pairs because he keeps bugging me. I'm sorry D-Poo. And the code word that you use is... Dude! Dude! That's right. Go to Tweakedodio right now.

Load your card up. Get four or five pairs. Use the code word dude. 33% off. Free shipping. Lifetime Limited WaronTeed with the code word dude. They're a great company It's a great place to get a bunch of headphones just have around your bag in your house in your car in your gym bag Because so you never you know not without headphones because everything is headphones so go to tweet.do.com And here check this out you guys ever wonder why razors are so expensive Maybe it's because the razors are loaded up with all this

shave technology vibrating handles and swivels and balls and blades and lasers and compasses and thermometers and back scratchers and I mean I don't need any of that and it's not fair to make me pay for it. I was sick of paying out of the nose to get a great shave and I shaved my head I shaved my face sometimes my butt so that's why I made the switch to get a great shave. And I shaved my head, I shaved my face, sometimes my butt. So that's why I made the switch to dollarshaveclub.com. DollarShaveClub.com delivers amazing razors and grooming supplies for a couple bucks, okay? It's simple, this is all you gotta do.

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Shave time, a shave money, a dollarshaveclub.com slash Kelly. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash Kelly. Go there now. Bada Bing. And that's it, right? And make sure you go to the website, right cast.com, check out our brand new YouTube feed, DPU has been kicking ass, working really hard to advance this and it's actually, it's getting really cool.

So go to ricast.com slash Robert Kelly, go to the page, you can subscribe to our podcast right there or you can watch the video from our YouTube page. Subscribe, make sure, subscribe, hit that button on both things. Show your love, show your support and spread the word of the YKWD. I wanna thank all you guys who came out to my shows

last week in Baltimore, unbelievable. I appreciate it, somebody YKWD fans after the show, it means a lot that you guys are actually coming to all our shows. I hear that from all the comics on here. And make sure you go to Amazon Link, where if you can find it on the Ryakaz page, it's very slim. If you're going to buy something on the Amazon O, which I do all the time, I love Prime, I love that you just hit it and it comes. You don't have to do anything and at two days you get a package. There's nothing better than getting a package in the mail.

Can you not have everybody on their phone? Just stay on me, all right? Just stay the fuck on me. I was showing the guy John. I don't, you need to show John nothing. The guy was drawing a dollar and a club reference. I don't give a fuck, you stay on me,

you show the camera, everybody's on the phone, how boring my reads really are. I don't need that, okay? I'm gonna get you some real sponsors. I'm making some calls later today. Hi, ooh, are you gonna eat me? Actually, you're reading, you're reading is I use it to go to sleep at night.

All right, we're back. We're back with the second half of the YKWD. All right, what drawing is he drawing? What are you, what is he doing? Is it me, he's putting everybody to sleep? He drew it. This literally looked like my, like if there was a back-toslip party during one of my shows,

you guys were all on your phones. What do I supposed to do? We can't talk why you doing your damn, your typhoon or commercials, your freaking monologue, and then we just gotta stay here and be like little boys and girls and not say nothing.

What do I supposed to do? Like just be like this. Can you zoom on my face? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, doing this. Like you're doing your breathing? Yeah, I want that. Yeah, that's what I want. I want you.

That's what I want. Look into the camera dumb dumb. You can tell you've never been on TV. I know how many cameras, there's so many different little freaking modules. That's yours. That's yours.

Let me go pull no close. He's not GoPro the high-de, bachelor's. That's yours. Let me go pull no pose. He's not GoPro's the high-deaf video cameras. That's relative. Shut up, D-Pool. I'm just being honest. You don't be honest. You be honest, that's how you be honest. You're not the fucking thing.

Relative. If people want to send us money for better cameras, that's welcome. Yeah, we want to get GoPro to sponsor by cash. I don't know what Ponsa means. What? That's what. Would you say Ponsa? I said, what's fucking Ponsa? I'm not gonna say that, sponsor. All right, we'll say it. I don't know what Ponsa means. What? That's what. Would you say Ponsa?

What's fucking Ponsa? I'm not gonna say that. Sponsor. All right, we'll say it. I said it. We winded people listening. We winded. Go to the videotape.

Okay, here we go. We, uh, well, yeah, if you want to buy D-Poo, what are they called? We just need HD Camdee. HD Camdee, how many do you need? Let's get five of them. Five need five go pro you guys find us to express if you can donate to Brandon co no no no no have a PayPal listen first of all we have a don't fucking take my cameras go pro's don't actually let you use lens focus so that's a kind of a huge distance man's focus for this shit for cinematic

dynamic yeah oh shit it would be helpful for this yeah movie just a couple guys talking to basement and shit well not enough to get literally on the fourth floor yeah yeah you know why I mean look like we don't know what you mean now is it a basement people was watching at home look like say this look like a basement No one would believe this is on a fourth floor of a freaking map button in my hand Yeah, thank you Tom Yeah, yeah

I think no it's really bullying you and saying shit It would be hard to tell what floor you were on Thank you. Yeah, yeah, why would be it with the big window with light coming? Yeah, what I would say third on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, why would be it with the big window with light coming? Yeah, what I would say third floor. Yeah. Sorry. I guess Tom's not on your side anymore. All right, anyways, Jesus.

Go pose. No, we're not doing go pros. We're not fucking, we're not snowboarders, okay? I don't, I don't, I don't, you're not. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm man. I know kev I love kev but stop Stop taking fucking fake photos in Instagram his Instagram's bugging me He every photo he takes is him posing The he's that poor guy who has to travel with him has to take a shot take the shot He's getting paid for that guy getting paid to travel around the world. The show he makes a lot of money.

And then that's what you do with pictures, you pose. No, you don't. Not when you're a stand up comic. You don't pose. He's not a stand up comic anymore. What is he? He's a fucking atterry. He's a personality.

He's doing everything. It's up really stand up. He's a multi. He's a cover. I'm done with these fucking guys. Comedians taking their shirts off on fucking Instagram. They're kind of in shape. Louis Shagomas.

Well, it's that clock sucker. I've been FaceTime in me for three days. He doesn't even have an iPhone. He's been FaceTime in me, and I look and I'm like, what is this? Why is, so I finally pick it up shirtless. I hang up immediately. She just wanted to FaceTime me shirtless. That's it. He just, to FaceTime me shirtless.

That's it, he just, hey, he literally, and then he calls me right back and he's got a fucking American flag wife beater on and he's laughing because he knows what he did. So are you mad that you can't take a shirt off on Instagram? That's not it and I understand that that could be taken that way.

I look, well, I don't hang on the oldest police car in the world I sound like I am fire truck I will answer fire ambulance that's fire truck. That's a fire truck. Is it yeah, we're from the 1800s I think I actually That sounds like Fred Flintstone where it's just cranking a bird on the side listen Nothing All right, it wasn't it wasn't a rake. You be called like that. Well, he I'm neutral

I love this is this is gobo's joke. Well, he here nothing I don't don't make fun of my joke because your joke bomb my joke didn't bomb you didn't have a joke you went Yeah, well, I want to say he's a little afraid of you That's the part of the joke. He's not afraid of me Well a little bit first of all he the guy I'll tell you something about guys like big big Collins, okay? It's a them branding Collins the reason why he's not afraid is because guys like that don't fight He don't fight. He's a nerd. Nope. He's a nerd. And if you wanna fight, go ahead,

but I'm not doing it, I'll fucking, we can have a conversation, we can argue. But as soon as you get physical, I'm not doing it, so fuck you, you're just gonna hit me. You're gonna beat me up and feel shitty, right? Yeah, that's what happened two weeks ago. Oh, you got no fight. Yeah, I got a, well, I saw you to keep it a girl marathon.

Yeah. I had a few drinks. I had a spot on Historia one there and I opened up the show after the host and producer the show He just you know he did stuff. I went up did really well I did so well the manager bought me two shots so I got you more fucked up, right? There's a table of four people that weren't really part of the show and they were kind of starting to get louder and louder as the night progressed. And there was a guy who went up like around the, he was like the four comic up, you know, nice guy but it looked like it was probably like one of those few times on stage in a while. And this table started getting louder and louder. So I went

up to the table and another person from the audience went to the same table, right? There's two guys and two girls there. He went up to the first dude, the audience guy went to one closest to him. There's like hey man Guess we're really loud. Please calm down. I don't know what that guy said But I want to the taller dude say hey man, you know where comics were trying to be respectful. Can you please keep your voice down? His immediate response to me was go fuck yourself and Be in drunk brand that for some reason I just was high on my horse So I was like no you shut the fuck up.

You drunk orphan. And this gentleman stood up, showed that he was the tallest man in the bar. And my head was like, he's not gonna hit me. We're adulterant. He's like, he had to hit me. What do you get you to do? What's up? Let me tell you, when someone stands up, man, you swing first.

Okay. Really? Yeah. That's why he's standing in the head. Is belly button? Yeah. For does matter. Do you go down? I tell him, man, him that go down someone stands up and about to hit you

You take a man like that and you use that okay? You're not well. That's it. Yeah, that's the thing. I have a face. Yeah, I haven't been a fight since I was in high school What did you do after that? Broke up now wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Immediately poke up with who you girl man. You. The manager and his friend immediately pulled the do up. You know what he fucking said. He said he broke up. I'll punch the face and he broke.

And that's it. It broke. Yeah. He doesn't have a girlfriend. He said he broke up. I said what happened after what he said. You have a girlfriend? After this.

Listen, so I'm kidding, but this guy stands up. Does he really punch you in the face or slap you? He hit me, but like a close fist. Yeah. Where did he hit you in your face? Hit me across my face. So he fucking swung like a horse. How soon after he stood up?

Literally like two sides, because I remember to throw him a hit like, he's not gonna hit me, and then he hit me. And then it was like that fast. But what happened to you? So he had to go back. I fell back because he's a huge guy. in the evening. I'm thinking it was like that fast. What happened to you? So he is so bad because he's a huge guy. You know what, back on your head, you're not gonna fuck out. It did not hurt, that's the thing though.

It did fall back or you get knocked apart. I didn't get knocked the fuck out. So you fall on the ground and then people grab him and throw him out? No, see, that's the thing. It took a, because he's the biggest guy in the bar. Yeah. Imagine just trying to calm him down.

I'm on the other side of the comics, they're, you know, they're holding what are you doing after you get hit? Are you done? You scared? No, I'm just like, my nose is a little bit. After you get hit, I'm really, you turn your head back around.

Was it show over and there was cleaning up the clothes. The show was over. So that means you got knocked out. I didn't know I could. That's what you came out to. I didn't know. Did you wake up with the sun coming in the fucking head? There was a bowl of Wheaties next to me.

What was that deep you Well, okay, I he came back y'all Brandon woke up. We didn't have shoes on So let me ask you What's up when you woke up? right Yeah, yeah was that was the bar close was it over? Yeah, the show was over at media show was over. Yeah, I feel so I feel fucked up because like me trying to stop a heckler And then I'm stopping that guy from doing a set There's one girl who waited the whole show to perform she couldn't go up

You know the career is that literally if she went up and killed and there's somebody in the audience from like NBC saw her And then fucking said you'd be good much Come in audition and then she gets the part and fucking becomes famous and later in life Her mother gets cancer, but she has the money now to support her mother and cure her of cancer and and and and it's just this Beautiful thing and she goes on to make beautiful movies and music and all by the Yes, someone we recorded it put on you YouTube and you would be like Jim Jeffries. What is it on? YouTube. YouTube?

I say you, you two. You say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you say you He made a career all for that. So we're not gonna mount. He did. He did? Yeah, I don't think he made a career all the time. Hey man, that's how he became famous. So he did, dude, they use that clip. Let me tell you something, they use that clip. His management is fucking real, but he also had a great standup act. Oh yeah, so he came. But they use that clip to really holy shit.

Let me actually, let me tell you something, when you go on radio and you go on a TV show or you go on wherever, O.B. and Anthony, you get a clip and you get into your shit kicked out of you. And he's a great storyteller too. He's got a shitload of stories. And then he can go up and do stay. Let me actually this.

You think you would be way ahead if that clip didn't exist? I don't know, that's a good question. I don't know. What do you think? Look, there's a lot of good comics out there. And he's a good comic, like really good. But sometimes you need that extra push. I don't think if that clip did not exist,

he wouldn't have got that extra push to give them to expose his comedy to fans. It was a buzzer buzzer. It was a buzzer. It was a buzzer around that. I remember I did the nasty show. The first one I ever did was with Louis C.K. Nick Depolo, David Tal, Greg Gerardo, and Jim Jeffries.

And I remember like, who's this fucking dude? And I remember that was the thing. Bill Burr, another one. What? Bill Burr, when you got heckled in Philly, they're my little push he needed. That was a, that was, that could have been a- You got to take me, got knocked the fuck out. But wait a second, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, in the opposite way. Is he exact opposite? Yeah, which I put how to make a career and the push that ends the career at 28 rapes

It can go it's just go either way Another week I'm out you don't believe him it's all those wipes, but it's like the Tiger Woods thing with like he is a lot 1617 goes like all right, you're over 15. Yeah, you're admitted to like you just like yeah, I would yeah, I think I think I think 20 I think Matter if there's fucking one he if he raped I'm not saying is not wrong. I'm not saying is right. You can't go here. It's very very one what he did Yeah, absolutely wrong rape Right. Yes, but. Right.

Do you think he raped all 30 women? Doesn't matter. Dude, he handled it. And then why, why would one woman then come out back then with the semen and their panties? First of all, do you know what was packed? The semen was packed. In the 90s, and the 90s it did.

Put it in the pudding. Listen, he was raping bitches in the 90s. No, he wasn't. Yes, he did. Did you go hiatus in the 90s it did put it in the pool. Listen. He was right. He was right in bitches in 90s. No, he wasn't Yes, he did. He's a high 80s in the 90s He made the freaking basketball player in the in the from Canada in the in the late 90s He did he got a replenishment of the pills. Hey, do poo. Google that. Okay, first of all a new one came out a new one came out like yesterday To that yeah, no one came out. Yeah, but she said he just sexually have asked. Oh really? Yeah, he sexually had a better

behavior, man. He was always fucking creeping to me. I never, I was not so too. I like the kids in the Cosmic Show, especially the fucking daughter who went on to a different world. Yeah, Lisa Bonnet, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fucking hot. He always creeped the fuck out of me. Yeah, I was like, he was creeping out too. I'm saying Cosmic, Cosmic is creepy. Cosmic. I believe he did, he did some of those ways, but what I'm saying is Do you all it doesn't matter some of them? Yeah, yeah, no, no, it's bad that he did any any wait But the he's you gotta you gotta tap out you gotta want you want you go once you've done a couple of them You got to tap out when it's when it's right

You gotta just walk away What he did it in just cuz ten say they didn't he didn't do it and then we did it So no no for priest fucking did old Little kid okay, okay, okay You guys miss a second 10 this one saying the ones who really got raped the ones who did it are messing up for the ones who really No, they're not wait why would it even better? Because it making makes people like people are not believing the story, oh, I'm not there.

So, so wasn't really got ready. Those are just cycles people there just fucking. Well, people, that would happen. Okay, listen, there's nobody not believing that Bill Cosby didn't rape. We all, we all, we all know this motherfucker raped women. Okay, we know it because there's too many women that have, trying to gain anything, don't need anything that are saying he fucking dropped a pill, gave me a drink, I woke up with fucking

jizz, my pants, he fucked me. It's just, we have to accept the fact that Bill Cosby, in a time when, I'm not saying when rape was in his brain, when rape, it was never good, but Spanish flies and things like that. There was a point like cocaine or certain drugs when it wasn't bad. They put cocaine and everything and then they realized, wait a minute, this is fucked up. With Spanish fly and stuff like that, women couldn't vote, black people couldn't vote. Then we realized, hey, this is a little fucked up. Maybe we should not do this anymore. But rape was always bad though.

Rape was always bad. Rape was bad, but what he was doing was not giving a girl a drug. Okay, I didn't have a choice. He wasn't giving them a choice. He was still, it's rape, but it doesn't matter. It's fucking right. But he was also used to his power, remember?

He told a lie, he was willing, hey, I'll get you. Yeah, but back it just a little more show. Yeah, but back in the six, the Hollywood back in the day, you don't think that have, go further back. Yeah, I'm still. You don't think Marilyn Monroe did that shit. I mean, come on, come on.

That's, that was, but as we, as society grows, and as women stand up for themselves, and as we, it all kind of study, hey, I'm not doing this, I'm not fucking blowing dudes to get about, you know what I'm saying? It goes away. It was a different time. I'm not saying it's an excuse,

but it's not like, you know, he was fucking knocking bitches out in 2000 in his brain. So you can't hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Back in the 70s and yeah, cocaine I believe was okay, but rape was never okay, just cause you put a drug and someone and they pass out,

let me okay, well she's passed out, let me get some pussy. Rape was never okay. It was never like, you could say all you want about drugs. And date rape was not a thing until somebody said, hey, I don't think this is right. Yeah, this is a bad day. I know get a sound of saying. Yeah, yeah, date rape Seriously date rape was not a just say no didn't exist until women started going hey, I don't this is bad

Yeah, that was a big thing in the 80s, right? Yeah, I remember that it was like on the it was like I it was kind of like all over the media Like that was a new term date rape. Yeah, date rape didn't exist in the 40s because it was like all over the media. That was a new term, date rape. Yeah, date rape didn't exist in the 40s. Because it was like a different rate. Look at the movie Mad Men. Yeah. Throw a secretary. You get smack your secretary ass.

Yeah, and the house was a ripender wise back then and shit. Yeah, they can hit you white. If you could hit you chick. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, he told my son, right? You go rape your husband. He's go rape white. You can't rape your wife anymore.

Yeah, you said it's so sad. I think it's funny though. It's funny though, is that we all went down a real tangent. But this fame thing, I mean, little kev is fucking massive. Oh yeah. But he works hard, dude. K, he works hard. Love him.

And of course he works hard, but I know little K, and I'm sick again. I see, put your shirt on. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what The greatest shape you could get in he's fucking the highest paid actor last year He's a as big as you fucking get as good looking as you can get and you just watch his fucking Instagram And he's working out and you like oh shit and then he yells focus and he makes he's joking He's yelling at a dumbbell or his headphones that break He'll see him pull over and stop and meet a couple fans that saw him drive him by it's fun It's it's goofy, it's, then you see these other, and they're sitting there with

their shirts off, sucking their guts in, and they, you know, just pose, it's a go- We're comedians. We're fucking comics. I don't give a fuck how big you get. Chill the fuck out. Look, take a sexy pose when GQ comes knocking. Go take that's okay Men's magazine. Okay, I get it. But leave your Instagram alone. Okay, stop

I've tons of pictures on Instagram. Why you can't take one with it when it shut off. It's funny He isn't pretty good. He's little Kevin Delicious He's a real chopper's off. I just know he really is a fucking her. She's kiss. God damn it, little Kevin shredded. Did you see his movie? The movie?

I didn't see it. I want to see it. What was it? What was it? I just went into it when I was waiting for it. The what is it? The number one. Can you let him finish his fucking?

I went to go see another movie and it had like 15 minutes before it started. And so I snuck into went to go see another movie and it had like 15 minutes before it started And so I snuck into that to watch it. How was it? I mean it was you think it is, but it was funny No, no, it's fine. It's fine. It's not I'm like Gary you see But it's the funny part is like I snuck into it and then when I was leaving I was like oh I wonder if they're gonna Know I snuck in and when I was leaving no one was in the theater So I was the only one in the theater and I'd snuck into the movie

So that's like how few people are going to see that movie like I mean American snipers being the shit out everything Yeah, isn't that movie with the number one comedy though? The number one comedy, but that's like number three and the overall box office. Yeah, yeah. It's still pretty fucking good. It's a number one comedy story. I wish I had the number three movie. Yeah.

No, it was, I only saw 15 minutes. It was fine. It was fine. Kevin is a beast right now. He got another movie coming out. He's a beast and here's a deal. He's a beast. Just keep your shirt on.

All right, one of those a year. No one, I never gonna say that to you Bobby. Jesus. Look man, one of those a year. No one that never gonna say that to you, Bobby. Jesus. Look man, you don't have to hurt my feelings. I know that, okay, and you don't know that. That I could shred out. Bobby was shirtless on Louis, man. I can't erase that from him.

I saw you. I love you man, but Jesus, he didn't prepare us for that. Dude, can I tell you about that shirtless thing? He goes like that. I read the script and I'm like, oh, this is gonna be a great scene between me and him. So I'm sitting there, he goes, yeah, I don't wanna do this one, here I wanna do this one.

And he hears me this and I'm like, and it says, he goes, I need you just getting a towel, that's it. And I'm like, oh God, I had to get naked. He's gonna be much naked in front of a whole crew. And he's got all those cool looking awesome hipster Cheeks working on the crew, you know what I mean? Let every all the chicks are just oh so fucking cute and adorable and I took I remember just taking my

And I remember they had to find a towel and then they had to find some way to make it not fall because my when I sat down my My girth with But here's a deal. I mean look I am what I am I had to do that fucking pop-up shit I am what I am fuck it I'm fucking I'm hit that's it so what are you gonna do so what you did I fucking just sat there like a fucking mump just like job with a hot knockout did I change your acting huh that changed your acting at. Actually, that was a really good scene I thought I liked it. I thought it was good opening. It was a good weird. He writes these great scenes and it was I

Like that. So and you know what it doesn't fucking you know what the Doesn't matter though. I got tits dude Fucking gives a shit You can tell by your face right now. You do I back you on with a shit You know what I don't like who gives a shit? I could tell by your face by now you do I just I don't like who gives a shit I could tell by your face. I mean, but you've also lost a lot of weight since then too Since then yeah, but I'm still a mess, but how much weight you lost? I don't know, but here's the thing I don't want I don't want, I don't want. I'm just sick of this fucking sexy.

Guys, just trying to be sexy. It's just fuck you. Just fuck you. And you're fucking sure. That's what shit gets bad, though. But it's just like Chris Rock said, who actually Colin Quinn said, and this Chris Rock took it.

Cool is the enemy of funny. Why don't you get cool cool for fucking school. Now you're not funny anymore. Is that what happened to any Murphy? Fuck yeah. You think any Murphy got too cool and now he's not funny? I think he came really cool. I always thought he was funny, but I mean he became really cool. I stand up on movies. I think Murphy is the I think he's the Kanye of comedy, but with Alterrant. I think I think it is the I think he's the Kanye of comedy but with Outer Ranting. I think I think I think I'm the world. I think I think that's all I'm just I'm genius. He's a fucking he's a showboding piece of

shit. If you need it. Yeah, but he is fucking smart. That's what we're talking about his name in we're talking about his name. I have. I should go. I have as much as you hate him. You talking about the thing you hate the most. He is a dick but he Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida, Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.

Oh, God. ¡Toppig! ¡Toppig! ¡Toppig! ¡Toppig! ¿Pista? Oh God Can't use a topic in that. Topics. I have topics. Peace out. You see the photo or the video when he was walking to the stage in Beyonce.

JZ was like, oh this motherfucker. They were like, they were like, they were like clapping. Or you all seem go, no. Like then he walks down stage, off stage. Dude, when he did that gym with Taylor Swift, when he had the MTV thing, commented on interview where he was like immediately after Kanye like,

did that rant when he was drunk, I text him so you need to leave the country for a while. And that's exactly what Kanye did. My favorite Kanye rant is when he went after Katrina and you're doing that. Oh, that's a bad thing. Mike Myers is like, President Bush don't care about Mike Myers. Oh, I feel so bad for him. No, they got the Chris Tucker

Chris Tucker he was so not ready for kind of like Yeah, yeah, yeah, give all good money man. We need to help man You know, come on, man, piss off man Mike Myers kept trying to do it. He was like, you know, the people in Katrina they need all the funds and you say You know, I went to the mall yesterday. I ain't going even lie. But I call my accountant I mean, hey guys white people are they say white people are there starving for food and black people are looting Hey, Bobby, I know you hate them. We just talked about them for 25 minutes I'll tell you what first of all you're fucking timing stinks. You have no sense of time. It's not 25 minutes

It's been a year minutes 25 minutes to you though. No, because it's a two you hate Five minutes to you though. No, he's a dude you hate. He's you hate. The things you hate is a lot of time. One minute on the treadmill is like 25 minutes to you. Jesus. He's just a mean. You're mean. Yeah, we're giving the heck you chiff of that one.

Yeah, I'm gonna. Here you go. Oh, shit. He said to me. The boo-doo shit. I can't talk shit on the other shit. Y'all gonna let that slide. Say shit one more time. I said one little thing about the treadmill.

I think I said the blue do shit He boarded up I just I just don't personally I get it. I understand what he's doing. I just think he's a fucking dildo Kevin Hart is fucking I love Kevin. He's great. He's fucking great I love the Kevin first of all helps still helps people from back in the day. Oh, yeah, you know He made key special him in Chris rock. What's that coming up? It's coming out this week, but the fucker won't call I Keep on calling him. I'm gonna call him right the fuck now. He says the worst Business guy. I think he want to stay doing local club. I'll be like, who the fuck? What the stove?

I told Kee yo, let's have a big party. I'll be when you were at the special club. And then let's do a comment show, keep called Keaton and Friends, and you do that to sell all the village underground. And then you hosted and then to promote your freaking special. And then we do a lot of podcasts about it. Yeah, I ain't gonna,

well, I can't stand them, I can't stand them. I can't fucking stand them. I really, first of all, I'm mad at you. Where was you promoting my fucking city? Where's my accent? You didn't ask me that. You said you told me that you got to take a cab. Let's go back to go back to that podcast.

I pointed up. You weren't on it. It wasn't on a podcast. I talked to about this, especially you should do a big blah blah blah I get get sponsors and you like I got this all right fine All right, I remember that you're right. Thank you I'm gonna call Kevin Hart's number see if it still works. Oh, I got his number young secretary will answer Keith stinks. I'm leaving a message

Keith stinks He really'm leaving a message. Keith stinks. He really does stink, right? Keith stinks. And he has the thing, it's in the facts. Who said the facts? Who's doing the facts? No, we're gonna send yourself on the facts. You're an idiot, Keith.

You know what? I'm doing my show right now with a bunch of comics. And we all stink. You stink. Just stinks. Smell like boil nickel. Just stinks smell like boil nickels. You smell like boiled nickels. I don't know what that means. That's Wilson Vince, that's a Haitian thing.

You're curious. I think they eat nickels down there. They should allow when they swim over here for fucking money. For listens. You got sorts of protein on it. When is your special come, I'm trying to promote it. I'm trying to do a special show. No go on, no podcast, radio.

To promote your dance, super dance fun. Yes, special Fuck you gonna do you gonna go oh you stink you know that you're back of the bus I wish they show that back of the bus. Yeah, I wish the back of the bus got hit by a train That's what I wish fuck the back of the bus get hit by a fun of the bus You will you fuck I got a sheep. Yeah, good. Buts. I can hope the back of the bus get hit by the front. Do you think Kevin, this is Kevin's number?

You think he'll pick up? I got his number. I got his new number. Let me see if this is coming up. Kevin get a new number every two months. All right, here we go. Let me see if it's true. I don't know, but who's phone is this now?

It's I got his real number. I'm gonna call this one. Now it's gone. He doesn't accept calls at this time. Son of a bitch. Now when someone rich had that message, can't accept calls at this time, he just changed number.

When someone like us got that message, that means you can't pay your phone bill. Yeah, but I think in that message, they say that they're like, he didn't pay his bill. No, just, yeah in that message they say that they're like he didn't pay his bill. No, I think they say. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I just forgot his quest. He's not accepting calls. Yeah. Who said that? Who said, hey, AT&T, can you, um, uh, am I request? I don't always say calls now. Yeah. I don't want to use the phone. Why did you use the phone.

Why did you hold the phone up? You know we're doing video. He's a method actor. I just, I listen. I get it, but you don't do shirtless things. I have a couple of shirts. No, he takes the top. He just has to let it happen.

What's rule one? You don't help him. And helping him consists of talking over it and letting him fucking recover I got a few shirts this stuff I just don't get me on the Instagram though on Instagram pull up my ass But you're not famous You don't want to see the pictures right now I just, I fucking can't stand it. I see this shit.

You know, you watch somebody's saying, like, Jesus Christ, this person really, nobody's around him going, no, I'm not gonna take that photo. I mean, you get so big. What are you gonna say? No, he's gonna send you back home on the bus and get a work at a restaurant. That's probably what kind.

He's probably got a bunch of yussmen around that just let him do that shit. Yeah, dude, but he making a lot of money obviously. They some genius to what he's doing He's still relevant. He's still making hits look regardless. You said about Kanye. He makes good music Yeah, I'm not saying that he didn't that's not what I'm saying You're saying because I think somebody's a fucking dickhead that it nullifies everything they else they do that's not what I'm saying He makes good music. He has good songs. He's probably very talented and very I'm not saying he's not a teller say what we said earlier saying we said earlier Hang on. I'm saying he's a fucking honkae shit Well, we said earlier was you you need a little bus thing to get you going

He's keeping his bus in my creating his own knockouts like Brandon who didn't use his knockout to be famous by now Jim Jeffries or a bill bird that freaking Philly he just doing a bunch of those every now and then to hate y'all I'm still alive. Maybe that's a genius. That's what he was doing well before he started just being a dick Thelon. Yeah, and he was a huge fan of college dropout. He did nothing of the sort where he was like I'm the grace of all time and shit. Did he did? He is, he by him doing that, he's not letting, so here's a deal. By him doing that to that person who's about to accept, who worked hard, who is a musician, who's an artist, and they worked their fucking ass off to get to that one point where maybe

they might win something and then they do. And this guy's gonna go fuck you. I'm gonna steal it, make it about me, and fuck your art, fuck your hard work, fuck all the years you put into it, fuck your family, fuck everybody that loves you, fuck your band, fuck everybody. It's about me, Kanye, not about you, the guy who just won.

Sit the fuck down and go win something. And then go the fuck up and make your stupid speak. Yes, what though? Well, everybody remember that Taylor Swift moment and that's what made the big. Not in a good fucking way. In a good way, she's a freaking monster monster talent star. You didn't need two monsters.

Not a monster monster. Well, monster monster. Yeah, a monster monster monster. No, these are monster stars. I don't think, she's a big don't I don't think that made her I think she's Look look at all the all the country artists. She's kind of came out that time. She the one that she was big then She was big then you understand

Like she was cute, but all he talks about is respecting the artist Respecting the music that That's his whole thing. I think you cut up. Let me say this. He all he talks about is respecting it. And by going up and making a fucking joke about this guy who just did something amazing in his life that he'll never get back.

Now it's about Kanye, same shit with Taylor. So he's disrespecting fucking the art of music. The thing that he says that we know that he's the guy and everybody fuck him. Well, the other thing is he's- How do you know, hold on, Bill. That Tom fucking hot. Well, the thing that's annoying is like,

it's not like, thank you, yes, that's the point I was gonna make. The thing is like, it's not like he's not even nominated in the category He's always like I can't believe my friend in wet Nobody that's basically for beyond that. Yes, I was beyond Like Beyonce doesn't want her. I mean, she's like don't do that back Autelus who didn't have a conversation with Kanye. I hate it. They did They let me get it out. Let me get it out. Well, swallow whatever spits in your mouth because I didn't have a conversation with Kanye. They didn't. They didn't let me get it out. They didn't let me get it out. Well, swallow whatever spits in your mouth

because I didn't like that. Hey, hey, Kanye, I need a little boost. You mind bringing an asshole. Hey, if I was going to eat, you're saying Beyonce needs a boost. Everybody's going to hate you, but can you help a friend out? I got something to tell you.

All right, here you go. That didn't happen. Didn't happen. Number, you can't hate the Kanye. Didn't happen. Number two two Beyonce doesn't need anything. Yeah, she doesn't need a boost on a ward a fucking hand Nothing so Kanye Okay, is this little fucking Brad is little fucking Brad who has the world and it's just being a little fucking cut Brat who has the world and is just being a little fucking cut

When Kanye wasn't shit he fucking acted accordingly had respect and he like the job I'm talking about Taylor or back action for books. No one needs that though. No, nobody need that Back doesn't need a boost Grammy for the best art of the year. That's his boost. Yeah, when they get Grammy's are pretty good boost. Yeah, and he took away his fucking boost. Yeah. Max pre-set for life now. Yeah, but they made a big a boost. How many times do you think someone gets a Grammy

in their music career? I don't know, Jackson got a lot. How many times do you think? What's the album? So do you think Jackson? One of the most biggest pop stars of all time, dude. I'm talking about me. I'm talking about it.

Take all the musicians out there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she has. I'm talking about it. Take all the musicians out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Remember this moment in time say it again. How many times people will get right me Bobby? You are the My point Taylor Swift is remember this girl or something out of this Fleming you throw that was in the Grammys though You know that right that was the movie movie. I don't give a damn People remember Taylor Swift I know I think I think I think this shows nice legs

I think this guy is a fucking pain in the ass He's a fucking douche and he's an elitist. Okay. He's a fucking elitist But he knows how to stir up controversy. He's an elitist He knows how to keep his name around. I look at here's the thing. Well, he's dinner. He's married to Kardashian That's what he wants to do though. He wants to be he wants to break him as like yeah, he wants to be a part of America basically That girl has a fauntry of America as them to that girl has a trainius and she's fucking gross She does as a rose that people yeah, she's a person. Oh, that's a number You think so you think she's attractive Kim Kardashian. She's fine. Yeah, yeah, you know, what are you serious?

No, I think Courtney's I hate her I hate I think Kendall's the Fuck Bruce I'd rather fuck Bruce What's what's his name gonna be Belinda I think it's Belinda you fucking so I swear to God I confirmed that he's really doing Yeah, yeah, he really is you would have came out by now to sit that shit. Well, yeah to come out with a Bruce may have be named because his Bruce but braber huh Barbara. No, I think it's

Belinda I swear to God I'm not kidding Google it you that sounds like a computer in your pocket find out I think it's Belinda but I don'tinda, but I don't find her attractive. I really don't. I'm a fine Bruce Jenner, I'm a fine Bruce Jenner. Let's go down the phone. That's like Kim Kardashian. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I, yeah, she's a con, but yeah, she's smoking out.

Dupe. Of course, she's like the most. You're the only one. I don't think she's a hot. I don't think she's a hot. She's a hot. Kendall, Kendall is gonna be a hot as that of that of old. Yeah, I think she really hot Well, I think kid upton berries make sure you're micrhythm. Yeah, really? I don't like it. I don't like kid up to enough to those news leaks

Really? Drupi it's not that's why I got into it. I was just a room full of fucking Yeah, it's not too droopy. I didn't like it. I came good actually a fuck that bitch look I I understand why she people think she's hopped But she's just I okay that thing I her butt is I don't like big ass. Oh, it's not blinda. It's Bridget Is it Bridget? Yeah, you know, yeah, you want to change his name to Bridget you lost the bad Bobby I didn't we just you're not so we didn't make a bet can you get that side profile off please? I just look like a fucking moose Can you get that side profile off please? I just look like a fucking moose

Look at that. Yeah, you're looking right at me. You're looking at good. Yeah, but I then you turn your head for hot second Stuff using terms from the 90s hot second yo, man You got to make it to the club at a hot second get on the first thing smoking mother fuck off Sorry, I just now you want the HG? I will take it. Yeah off. Sorry, I just now. You want the Henge G? I will take it. Yeah, I'll take it. Jesus Christ. I don't know. I just think that I think what I get that there's this fucking high level of fame and when you get there, you have so much money. And I'm really happy for little Kev. Because little Kev, he went through a divorce, he went through a lot of shit, now he seems really happy in his life. I don't know, but he's got a lot. What's a lot? I don't know millions.

What's a lot? He got at least 25, I'd say. I'd say he's got like 25. Google Kevin Hartz, Matt Wren. What's with you, the guy that's, I know, but who cares? Who gives a, I know it's not, that's the thing with Eddie Murphy.

That's why like, he doesn't have to do shit, because it's shrek alone, he made, what, of all those, he made a lot of, did you hear the story about Murphy? He was at his house with a few comics and he was going through his mail Yeah, and he got a residual check from a from track. He said look I got vision check on track one and he threw it like Flung a million dollars and all the comments like he just flew Flung a million away. No, no, he just like you know, like he's just going to do it to the side like this. Wow.

You know what guys, Rich, you know, like if I get a check for a million times. Does he have an elevator or something? It's funny. I have one in my house. Yeah, you need one. I have one in my building. What?

Shit, he opened your stuff. Ah. Oh. I don't have an elevator in my house. Oh, I'm sorry about that. That's it. Fuck you. I think you, I do.

What's his net worth? 25. 25 million. Wow, that was a good. Good. All right. Right. All the good. Yes. Yeah. I look. I think I just I just think that there's a point where it's like Oh, Jesus now what is he gonna? Is he gonna sing? Is there a I mean is a song cut an acoustic jam version of his horse shit gonna come out that I gonna sit there. That's why I love fucking Keith Roberts. You know, I love Keith Roberts and because he will fucking trash you no matter how famous you get He will tell you you ain't shit that back table at the comedy sell you roll up

Who I saw Kevin came back a couple weeks ago and they smashed that little fucking that little mother fucking Hershey kiss I was watching a video right you smashed him right yeah, I was watching video of Patrice Kevin and Keith and the You smashed him right? Yeah, I was watching a video of Patrice Kev and Keith. Yeah, Patrice and Kev, Keith, is trashing Kev. Yeah, the whole time, who's fucking hilarious. You just bought the whole conversation. Yeah, I know. What the fuck? I'm so sad that someone sounded like an elephant.

Someone with a panda sneeze. Google panda sneeze is the same thing. By the way, net worth of Kevin Hart's 30 million according to the first website. Wow. That's a lot of money, man. What's Kanye's? 30 million?

Wait, no, no, he's not gonna. How much money, how much, I'm gonna ask you last, because it doesn't matter. How much money would it take for you to leave the business? To leave? Yeah, to leave. Done, you're out.

I don't think I'll be out. Listen, I'm talking. 100 mil. You asked me, this is my lesson. But I can, we can talk about it. You know what, send out conversations work. Like it doesn't just end when you answer the question. Did a channel work 100 mil?

Not everything's a fucking court case. Not a month, I won't come back. Don't fuck. Wait a minute. Let's let's talk about this. A hundred million. You don't get to do stand up ever again because I got a lot of ideas on put that. Well, you say need the business. You can't do stand up. You can't do stand up ever again. Oh, shit. How much? 200. Are you kidding me? You actually, you really big college see five five million. Yeah, that's more realistic

He's a fucking asshole 200. What are you gonna do? Fuck man? You gonna transformers five? This is not a phone. 70s 80s Five mil back in the same days who last a long time today you spent five million a couple of months He's half white so he can just put in a CD. Well, you can, you can, you can,

you can live in a one-bedroom Brooklyn, this close, I'm love you. I'm love you. I'm love you, friends. Well, 200 million, you can pay off the guy that made you leave the business. Then he's like, you start doing it again. Thank you, thank you.

Hey, yeah, Tom, Tom, how are you? Thank you, I know. You used to voice over his phone, books. Thanks, for books. Yes, so when you know what the, the real books, talk about books. Tommy, man, call you Tommy? Yes, please.

Tommy, what would it take for you to leave the business? 50 grand. Money back. Money back. This is money back for the market. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about to be. Just a million, two million.

Really? Oh, you keep going, man. Oh, wait, stop, stop. Because I want more money, I'm trying to think. You should ask how much Geneva Raffles network. Because two million, yeah, what's your name? That's what it's like. Really Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop I'm not for two men are you kidding me? I like Santa but it's like I like other things too. Why you, Jack, we didn't, you said we couldn't attack you for yours. And also we can write too. We can write for other people.

We can't perform it right? But we can write for, no you're out of the business. No you're out of the business. You're out of the business totally. I just want to know who this guy is. It's paying off the videos. I, he's a friend of mine.

Okay. He owns the cult. So listen. What? It's very good. Did you need to grow this? I mean, Slob net worth has her at 10 million Yeah, that's what I believe it. Yeah, the Larry Sanders shit. Oh, why are you so shocked? I didn't think so you got 10 million

Well, she's she's not that she's not money. She's not money. She doesn't that worth like based on what you started making You made it though Robert Kelly's network You're gonna you're gonna come up with like a wood cover Kanye's at 130 by the way Wow 130 million really yes, I hope a plane falls out of the sky I really do his plane or just no, I want a plane to fall out of the sky and hit him I want the guy flying the plane to live Hey, you're on here. You're on celebrity network and hit him. Oh, but I want the guy flying the plane to live. Hey, you're on here. You're on celebrity network. Am I really?

Yeah, but I mean, you know, give you a net worth. I don't give you net worth that. What am I? Oh, they said your name is Robert Patrick Kelly? Oh shit. Can you name Bob? Yeah. Five in.

An Irish American stand up from Boston. Italian, I'm Italian. It says Irish. In all the parts that say what do you think his network is? See when they come back. He has a huge weekly podcast called You Know What Dude? Bob and his old VJ, VJ Comics, Joderosa, Dan Soder and Kelly Fistuka. There's a huge weekly podcast called You Know What Dude. Bob is so featurey. It's a featurey comic.

Joderosa, Dan Soder and Kelly Fistuka. Not anymore. Dan's too famous. In 2003, Kelly was voted a breakthrough performer of the year on crinchhumor.net. Tell me about Bob and Kelly still. Yeah. I was fucking, was I?

Was I? I can't get it, apparently. You've all got your head. What the hell is that? What the heck? You know what to do? You create the Wikipedia. I'm everywhere that you say sounds that has a W in front of it. Was I was I can get apparently The Wikipedia I'm every word that you say sounds that has a W in front of it. Oh you whoa Listen well, they don't give you a net worth though. I'll get one this year god damn it I'm gonna be I'm gonna be that word the fucking 30,000. No fucking 108,000 Wow fucking 30,000. No, fucking 108,000. Wow.

I got it. It's fucking weird. I wonder if money. I know that certain people have money and it just they've it's never changed them. Like Louis is the same guy I met 15 years ago. He is today. He just has more money and more. Kevin is the same guy. You think Kevin is still Kevin always been cracking jokes. And he's gonna say hello to everybody. That's the same. Do Kevin A change? I think if you get it later, you don't need a change.

It's not a joke. It's not a journey change, did you? I think Janine, Janine Garofa made it huge and she was like 27. And they say that when you make it huge, you like stay in that phase of like your age. Like they say if like you make it when you're 22, you like don't mature past 22. That's like alcoholism.

Who did it? Is that what they say? Well, they say the same thing about alcoholism when you start drinking. When you stop drinking is where you'll pick up. So if you stop at, you know, this point you'll pick right back up at that Wait, what if you're 22 in the world is that your feet you're kind of like I don't need to mature anymore Everything this is working out great. Why would I went to Heistwood?

I would like to be like became like really famous. I would like I think some names Michael Jackson never go up maybe Well, you know what's weird is like, I was in my office yesterday and I'm sitting there and I, you know, I have this awesome desk that I built, that I, in my head came up with, went and got the wood, built it, you know, figured out how to do it.

And I have this beautiful, it's actually a bowling, a bowling alley floor that I made into this awesome desk, this big huge 10 foot desk. And then I went outside and I'm shoveling my driveway to my house and I'm saying they're like, like famous people, like, don't win. Even if I was famous, I probably would still do this shit. Just because you're Kevin Hart famous,

you would not be shoveling that. If I had 25 million, if you was 19, you'd probably wouldn't do that. When you were 19, you would not be shoveling I'm fine 25 million 19 and get that you probably won't do that when you 19 you tell me Kevin Hart Shubbles is no shovels is fucking dry. I'm just a normal shit. Oh, man What my right? He probably was some normal shit. I'm sure there's some stuff he does do that Can you know how to take his own shit, but he can't he walk outside and just like go get a fucking Starbucks I just call him without somebody bothering him

I mean M&M always wants to kill himself Really? You think yeah cuz he's like you I can't go anywhere I can't even go to fucking best by without going to best buys over I would take fame over it I would gladly give it up for yeah,, but like I'm sitting there doing that today and I'm shoveling and I don't mind it. There's something manly about taking care of your house

or I had to hang blinds this weekend and I had to learn how to fucking drill through glass tile and it's like yeah, I could just go higher a dude but I'm like, oh, let me just figure out how to do it and I did it and I hung the blinds and I'm like, oh, let me just figure out how to do it and I did it and I hung the blinds And I'm like fuck I know how to do that now. Why do you have very distinct? You know instructions of how I'm actually a question. What'd you say? I'm gonna take you pass that down. I want to throw it to them

But but I think it goes I want to slowly see it coming Yeah, that was a joke But I like doing that don't't you like the Mexican cross? Please, this is a show. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Okay, every one at a time.

So can we go to everybody? That was one thing. You don't want to give up if you become freaking huge, but you have to give it up. What would that be? Ice cream. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.

I just said something. I love ice cream. I told my activity or something like something like like example like going to Best Buy but you can't. So something you know like it's a massive huge that I don't want to give up. Yeah but you know you become famous you have to give that up. Go into the mall. I like going to the mall. You wouldn't want to get it. I know something Bobby wants to get the fucking new iPhone right away. Well you never get that right away. I can't do that. You're famous famous. He can get it I always get I always get it right away. You didn't get it right with this year

Yeah, but I got it pretty much right away The way I want about I'm talking about first day Yeah, but I could have got it. I had to say something stop right there. You're wrong. I had it the first day But my friend Joe got me the hookup and I didn't answer my fucking phone, I had my phone in the room, he was like, dude, I had the phone, I had it. I had three connections ready to go. You were asking me if I had a connection. I fucked up because I missed my connection, but I had it.

If I was more attentive, I would have had that phone the first fucking day. Don't ever question me on iPhone stuff. I will fucking always have you, Corksucker. But no, I mean, what you're saying is, what would you do? The mall, I like walking around a fucking mall. But you don't have to get that up. Are you becoming huge?

You'd have to because you people would just, like I walk into places now, like a Starbucks or a store where there's, where people are kind of coming in and going out, but they're coming and staying and congregating a little bit. And I'm sitting there, wow, if I was famous right now, like if I was really, this would be a fucking weird situation

because everybody in here would be like, oh shit, that's, and I would have to do something. I mean, I didn't have that problem at all. Yeah. Nobody even fucking looked at me twice. I think being famous, yeah, sure. All right, go ahead. I was gonna say, I think being famous. Yeah, sure. I was gonna say, I think being famous would be really cool for like three weeks.

And then like after that, it'd think it would be like, I don't want this anymore, but you can't stop it. It's like a hot girl who wanna get mad. Yeah, I was gonna say this like, I got a girl you wanna fuck a lot, and then you finally fuck her. Yeah, yeah. But that's the thing I think that sucks is like,

you know, you can't, you can't be like, I don't like it anymore. I would you want to do though answer the question What would you want it? What would you not want to give up if you were that famous? Well had to a huge Nothing I don't know like I always hear the mall that like every celebrity every celebrity says the mall like Harrison Ford Just like I can't go to the mall no they don't and like you put me in with my yeah, yeah, you you and Harrison Ford But it's like fucking like like Helen Mirren will say she can't go to the mall I'm like you have a lot of shit to do with the mall Helen mirror You know what it'd be like Michael Jackson world the sky than what's the mall? You got to wear that that's not that yeah, yeah, where where a fucking loot tenets jacket made a dinosaur

That's a disguise go fuck yourself. I think I think I think what would you are going do with it? That's not that hard. Yeah, we're a fucking lieutenants jacket made of diamonds. That's a disguise. Go fuck yourself. I think, I think what would you, I think going to the movies, I think it would just have to be able to not be able to go to the movies where people were like, Hey, you know what I mean?

That's what I'm gonna say, yeah. Well, yeah, because I like to go to the movies all the time. And you don't want to be annoyed, and also just going to the bathroom in a public restroom would not be a real one. I was gonna say going to a movie because I saw top five of the thing.

You're fucking cadence, by the way, is fuck. It's so, it's like a restroom. Yeah, I have a weird voice. There's like a thing at the end that you do. And the fucking makes me want to, it sounds like I'm high all the time. No, it sounds like you're trying to fuck me. Yeah, well that too.

That too. How you going? I go, I like it. I like it. I like it a lot. I'm just gonna say movie theater. It's like, sorry. Yeah, because you can't.

Yeah. Yeah. Cause I saw a top five of St. Privy of it, right? And I'm the only one that's screening that noticed Chris Rock in the corner. And my girlfriend's like, you love Chris Rock. He's like, you're a stand up hero.

Go talk to him. Cause he walked out. And I was like, I can really actually maybe go talk to him for some, just say I appreciate your work. I was like, I'm not gonna do that. Cause what's I do that? The may who's that guy talking to at the Zach will have it at the end of the screening one person also knows them and they went over and then a huge swimmer People I'm like that's got to be the worst because you just trying to be like hiding. No, he doesn't like that

Because the way he well behavior was the way he was he was trying to be very far removed and someone was just like like me It was just like wait that looks like it's Chrisott, but I didn't go over, they went over and it started a huge ambulance. I think that's why you hear stories where people are like, I met Kevin Koster and he's a dick and then you hear the story and like, what happened there like dinner? I was eating dinner with his family and I went over and asked him to sign my ass.

And it's like, well, you ruined his night. Like, it's not gonna be nice. I'm not gonna lie, okay? Being famous. That's close to lying. I'm being famous. What did I talk to you today? Was it you?

I don't know who the fuck it was. I pulled up today to a parking spot. And I was like, fuck, it was like, by a fire hearted. And I'm like, fuck, how many feet? I don't fucking know. It's 12. It's 12? Absolutely. Let me finish the story and you'll don't fucking know. It's 12. It's 12? Absolutely.

Let me finish the story and you'll know why I know. So all of a sudden the cop pulls up. They give a ticket to the FedEx guy who's double parked fucking everybody on the street. And they go, excuse me, officer. And he walks over to my car. I go, is this cool to park here? Is this, he goes, Bob, you can park

anywhere you want, my friend. Nice. And I was like, oh shit. I was like, oh, that's like, that's so fucking cool. And he was like, yeah, you're fine. Don't worry about it. You're good. I'm like, I mean, you really fixed it.

You know the cop, right? Was it a cop or was it a cop? It was a cop. It was a cop. But he was like, yeah, you're fine. It's 12 feet, you know, that we wouldn't give you a ticket for that. You're good, but you're good anyways. Don't worry about it. And he was like, can I you're fine. It's 12 feet, you know, that we wouldn't give you a ticket for that, you're good, but you're good anyways. Don't worry about it.

And he was like, can I get a pick? And I'm like, this, this is... You get recognized, Lauren? Well, I get recognized a little more now. Cause of Louis. Louis, Louis's been, look, you know, the tourgasm thing was all right at the time, but I don't remember it.

I don't know what the fuck, but Louis, for some some reason is fucking crazy. Louis, a lot of people, my age, recognize me. And beneath, under me, they recognize me a lot from that show, but this guy was ONA, of course, a lot from ONA. I think the most is from ONA and Louis, but it was just, I was like, this is great. Being famous has,'s it's fucking

awesome because people treat you different but they also the bullshit's go hey man a big fan and then you can actually talk or whatever and it's actually cool you know what I'm saying? They also don't go to jail. Thanks people just don't go to jail. Well some of them. You had to commit a fucking really bad crime to really go to jail I was watching Some mixed a in which I eat thing about it. They're like yeah, somebody just don't go to jail We'll find ways to get them all big they can get the best lawyers Fucking molloters. They'll find way to get people but Robert Downey, Jr He was in jail for like years. Yeah, that is so weird to me. Yeah, like Robert Downey, Jr

Do you think he used to get so fucked up he would wake up in his neighbor's bed? Like that? No, he was really, but could you just imagine like being Robert Downey Jr. and you're like, Hey, I'm in jail with you now. Did he shoot like Sarah Jessica Parker?

Yeah, he shot like one of his pants. I think that's crazy. I don't think you're the Charlie. Hey, wait, can I tell you how mine? Oh yeah, Charlie. Charlie, you shot Kelly Preston. Yeah, mine is two things. Wait a minute, yeah, Charlie. I'm gonna go to you. Yeah, Kelly press what yours. Yeah mind mind is two things You wait a minute. You didn't tell us what calm down. I would add two things

What do you get two things? I? I didn't say you I can't make the rule you can't say two you did make the rules You said what's one thing you do to him? What do you try to do you are I ain't stop him guys? No one corrects will I'm saying. Let me just said let me just cut it out Number one is a double-edged sword double-edged sword. Yeah, you want a sword because on stage Yeah, as a family student is off to get are they really laughing at these jokes or the cause of your celebrity? Right and and and you know if you love if you love comedy you want that realness you don't want that I'll take I'll take fucking now no, I'll take a sold out

fucking Rumpel of fans who just laugh at everything. I'll take that self-esteem. I think I'll get funnier, not having to fucking fight and scrape and make this table that doesn't know me and this table that got group ons and that Bachelorette party understand that I'm fucking. Everybody's there to see me. That's a double S choice, like,

it's a fucking, that's a pro. You got the attention, but also not damn are they really laughing in? I get fuck laughing in I know laughing and I stop myself. I caught myself. All right nobody corrects Will I corrected myself okay great? No, so seeing as laughing. That's rule number three all the I could make a word for it. I can make a definition laughing Laughing in number two number two. What's's number two someone said early going to the bathroom When I when I do shows sometimes and I and I host yeah, and I do well and I go to the bathroom Do's love to talk to why you got your dick out because your dick is massive They want to suck it. They probably want to see your dick. Yeah, I don't have my dick

I'm peeing the star in the bathroom I don't have my dick. I'm peeing in the store. I'm in the bathroom. Yeah, you will stop in the three feet away from the fucking stall. Why would I man? Hey, what are you gonna be at next week? Oh, man, I appreciate the love, but I do it. I'm taking the shit. I'm peeing wait you taking the shit in the year. I'm talking you know In a wreck had a fucking like a army base. How do they see you in the stock taking a shit? They see you my shoe one guy fucking has my damn shoes. Most top where that's something you need to be alarmed about. Stop wearing sneakers with airbrush logos

with your name on it. Little wordy, but I caught it right at the end, right? I got it. I got Tom. I got fucking PC. Yeah, do a head count for your freaking last. I fucking I pull them out. I'm not leaving the show with that on my fucking neck today.

Give it a day. So when you were doing tourgasm, would you get a lot of checks? No, no, no. What? Damn, damn, got the fuck. You said another one. Chicks. Here's the deal with tourgasm.

Ready? Those were all his fans. I got some fans from it. I got some fans from it. I got some fan from it, okay? But that show wasn't geared towards my comedy. Wait, so after the show, you guys didn't get any of that dame pussy? It didn't like- No, really?

No, leak off? No. There's no- what? No, my head. No matter how fun you was, all skill and stages. What about like Goldman, did he? I have no idea. I can't speak from, like me and Gary, at that point,

like after that show was done, he went and did his thing. I went and did my thing. But after Tourgasm, no man, I, I, What do you guys think of this as a Goldman? Huh? You guys think we toured, I look at, Tourgasm happened. We had a wait over a year for it to be announced.

So I'm walking around, okay? Knowing that I have a show coming out on HBO at Aspen Comedy Festival, which is HBO's Comedy Festival, which you go to get a show. Okay, I'm sitting there going, I have a show coming out. I can't say nothing, couldn't announce it. You know, Dan was like, you can't tell anybody.

So I just keep my mouth shut. And then it came out and it was this fucking thing. They made it into like a reality type thing and they had to add these arc story arcs everything and it was this Weird fucking show that really didn't happen. You know say what I'm saying. Yes. I mean It's a good thing and she well, I understand what they had to do But I'm the instigator Gary's gonna rise the reality shows. Well, you know, this is that and this is I get it But it's really you's really, you know, it was, you know, we just fucking ate and played video games

and did shows, you know, and we're being filmed all the time. Everybody had a girlfriend. Nobody's, nobody's, did you have a girlfriend at the time? Yeah. Oh, so that's why you guys were making it. No, I didn't, I really didn't, we didn't. You're not gonna be able to fuck people

like you got to sign releases in all that. Well, here's the deal. I'm saying, I'm saying, I really didn't, we didn't. You're not gonna be able to fuck people like you got to sign releases in all that. Well, here's the deal. I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying. I'm saying this though, those girls want nothing to do with me. That's just the way it is, you know, basically, okay? Those girls want to, in the fans, I caught some fans from it, but not a lot.

Look, I did a lot of shows with that guy. You think I would have a half a million fucking Twitter followers. Imagine if you guys had done that now. What's that? Imagine if you guys were like at that peak in Dan's career and you guys were doing tour of Guestam now, you'd be like fucking, you probably be like, you're talking about what's social media.

Yeah, but I wasn't, you guys would be like the Wu-Tang of fucking comedy. Maybe, dudes. I wasn't, I wasn't promote, I was promoting, it was, you know, it was Dan's thing, man. I mean, that was Dan's show. I mean, his name,

his name was fucking 10 feet on the side of the bus. We had 14 point hell vetter on the back. I told him, I told him, I told him, Cat Williams, Damon, the Wayne Brothers, all these guys. No matter how fun you are on stage. The bottom line is those fans come for these people.

And I'd be like, Hey, Dane, you're like, Hey, you was fun, you was fun, I got this one. Wait, Damon, where's Kat Williams? Yeah. When you do it, when you tore what somebody doesn't matter.

The only way that you get put over like that is when they, you know, they really, they think you're the next guy. Well, they think you're the next, I don't know dude, but it just doesn't happen. It didn't, you gotta go get your own shit. Like, Louis, Louis was, you know, for me to play that part,

that was my, like people were like, oh shit, you a good actor, you know what I mean? It's my own thing. So you gotta kinda go get your own thing. You know, it's just, even with, even with ONA, looking at how many fans they, you think I get every fan from, no, it's not, that's their fan base.

I take some of it, a lot of it, which builds you up Which builds me up so then all of a sudden when you get your own thing You know, I don't know this show is a hit blah blah blah who knows? You know you get your own thing and then all of a sudden people see you as you Mm-hmm, and then those fans are the ones that are yours, you know I you know the fans that I have I have 80,000 people on Twitter, but you know If that's the case then I should, I have 80,000 people on Twitter, but you know, if that's the case,

then I should be selling out every fucking show I do. 80,000 people, that's a lot. But a lot of them have fallen me from blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, around there. But I think that, you know, fame is, that type of fame is, is, is, I don't, I don't think it's bad. And I love the friends that I have. I love my Colin, Keith, you guys, Dan Joe. You know, because- Me especially. Tom, I just met Tom, Tom's a new friend. But I really do believe that you guys,

you know, like I can show up, and if I show up, you guys will fucking smash me. You'll fucking give me a nice hot smashing. You know what I mean? Hang on, this is my wife Honey will wrap it up the podcast right now is everything okay Bye Don't sound fine Am I gonna be upset?

And am I gonna be upset? She's upset. Come on when you done that. Come on, dummy. Don't call me dummy. It ain't nothing. What the hell? I'll life just smashed it. Shut up.

I love you. I love you too. Bye. All right. What can you say with enthusiasm? Like, you mean it? I don't want to be on the podcast. Bye.

You want it. You want it? She can't hear you on the podcast. Bye. You want it, you want it. She can't hear you. Bye, bye, bye, love you. That's nice. So she supports a podcast. I give up, I give up pussy. I give up for banging chicks in the road. I'm gonna go home tonight.

Yeah, listen, this taxes have to be approved. All right, listen, I think fame, I love certain things of fame. And I like, I see little kev, kev cracks me the fuck, I remember I was in an airport, I had a fucking, oh my god, thank god, I got upgraded to first class. Okay. I'm sitting there, I'm exhausted, I look like shit, I have the same clothes on the head from the night before, all of a sudden, he comes

rolling in like, it's fucking five in the afternoon, fucking Louis Vuitton Black suitcase, Louis Vuitton Black backpack, of nine people, some Smokin' Hot Chick, which I think now is his fiance. He comes rolling in, two cell phones, comes over and sees me lying there like a homeless person that like goes snode into an airport, right?

He goes, God damn, by the damn, what the fuck happened to you? Everybody looks up, sees it's Kevin Hart, look yelling at me, yep. What the fuck you look like, shit, God. There's a lady with a red vest that walked him through, that he doesn't do security. He goes, you know, right through. That's a plus.

And he goes, he goes, oh yeah, he goes, oh thank you very much. Bobby, if you need, I can hook you, if you're gonna make another trip, I can make sure that they get you, so I don't walk through security. But if you, he had his Louis Vuitton bag and his backpack and his phones, I just kicked them.

Across, as hard as I could. I just kicked him. I had photos of him picking his shit up. So when you kicked them, it was with his knee, his out-ass. No, I kicked it that I know I kicked this I know you can't kick that high I I kicked his luggage if you know he's making a joke that doesn't even see that pain It's just he's just fucking making he was in his head trying to come up with a funny lie here

I'd kick and just went off in his fucking tangent Kevin Kevin is never I never seen with low energy Yeah, I have I high energy. Yes always happy always I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that.

I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that.

I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. I'm not gonna talk to that. sure it on, that's all. Does that too much to ask? Can we all as comedians? If you're a stand-up comic, stop trying to be gorgeous because you're not. Jason Morgan will show off when early that happened.

Yeah, as a fucking joke, he does it. Check out Ma's stretch marks. That's why he does it. If you're doing it to be funny, okay. But if you're doing it to show the world what type of fun, and Lewis Gomez is doing it now, what the fuck? He's doing it, he'll be fat in a month and a half.

Yeah, but that concept. All right. We got you got shredded for the ship rock. He went on and then he'll be fat. I'm sorry. He'll be back. I hope I hope he I can't wait. I hope he gets fat. I can't wait to get fat.

Oh, I can't wait till he gets fucking. Is he? No, it isn't. He's in he was fat. I remember that, but he was like really? Yeah, he lost a bunch of dizzy. No, it isn't. He's in, he was fat. I remember that, but he was like, really? Yeah, he lost a bunch of weight. He'll have like eight pounds.

This is why I hate him, because he did a pose with his left hand with his thumb in his back pocket to show his definition on his arm. And he twisted his body, did kissy face, sucked his cheeks in. But that's just one thing. His arms are his best part and he just shows them off and everything. His fucking milse.

What did you say his arms are the best? Are you hot for Lewis? Well, his arms are good. If you look at his life, he said his best part. Yeah, you think his stomach is his best part? I don't, I've never, I'm not saying any of it's good. You saw him. I think he broke just no way too much about Lewis.

Yeah, I think he also does semi-photos on how he's doing. I think he's just one of the's good. You saw him. I think he broke just no way too much about Lewis. Yeah, I think he also does 70 photos on how he's doing. She's I think I just want to fuck fat Lewis. All right, listen guys, we got to wrap this up. You guys, uh, it's been a fucking great show. Uh, Tom, uh, thanks for coming on. Thank you. I appreciate him. And you have a good time. It was great. Thanks. Awesome, buddy. What do you get to promote? Why don't you promote your movie or shows or whatever? Yeah adventures and comedy the movie coming out Hulu iTunes Amazon February 20th the album adventures and comedies coming out the same day on iTunes and also I'm sorry I have a I've a rap album coming out the same day. I rap kind of as a joke Yeah, I'm sorry I brought it up. Are you really?

You just got what you're supposed to do. Are you kidding me? I'll go say, I do. I wrap. First of all, yeah, what's your wrap name? Can we look it up right now? No, I wanted to tell us. It's Kanye East.

No, just get it. What's your wrap name? It's T. I'm not a hanky shoe for that. No, I don't want to hear a wrap. I'm sorry I brought it up. I'm sorry I'm not a hanky shoe for that. What's your wrap name?

TMC. It's supposed to be like a joke. Okay, TMC, we get it. TMC. Now what kind of rap would you do? Will you rap us out today? No. I'll give you a beat.

I'll do the beat. I'll do the beat and you give us a rap. Right, all right. All right, cool. So what, so you got a rap album coming up. What's the name of the rap album? It's called Streets Aren't Watching. Okay. That's the name of the rap album? It's called streets aren't watching okay Literally just through up my mom

You threw up on your right yet, okay cool. I'm that was funny man. I know Listen, what do you got be calling other people in the chat? Yeah, what's this going on next Monday next Monday? Yeah, but if anyone's watching live I want to be a stress batter and you brunt with tonight a p.m Next Tuesday February 17th I'm producing my first Live read to new series. I'm starting a QED Astoria This month I'm doing 500 days a summer. It's gonna be awesome next with them doing reservoir dogs So follow me on Twitter mr. underscore b Collins for information and Saturday February 27th 3rd year anniversary of Kami outliers

We got dynamic lineup. It's gonna be insane. You can follow that a Kami outliers on the line We got we got Paul Burzy got seen Smith Reformed tours Sean Donnelly. It's yeah, I'm lineup. It's gonna be dope. Hopefully Bobby Kelly. He's in town. Yeah, yeah I really want to do that show fucking well You know we always got man, you know Why are you gonna get black with him? Why can't you be cool? You always does that every time you do the show together. He knows he can come anytime it was man

So can I come on ever I want yeah, all right cool something my will what what do you have what do you got well? I'm still lying from his this is live people in Syracuse I'll be up there with modern ways this weekend. People with not live Monday morning, I will be at the Houston improv with the Wayne's brothers, both of them are Houston improv and Will Sylvanze fans in Australia.

I'm coming back to Australia. March, March. With who? Solo. Will Sylvanze. I just said Will Sylvanze fans. March 16. March 16 to June 22. We'll still Vince I just said will still Vince fans march 16

March 16 to June 22nd I'll be in Australia going from Moving Okay, did you do a pamper I can't get my friends leaving I do it. Fuck you. You know I care about you. You ask me. Can't bury. Take that back.

You care about me. Tell me you care about me. I care about you. Don't get mad at me because you said it. Can't bury. Melbourne. Now, are you saying it right? Because we don't want to fuck Canberry?

Can't bury. I was saying Canneberry for a while. It's Canneberry. Canneberry. Canneberry. Melbourne. Still don't know what you're saying Perth are and the gold coast Mm-hmm will silvers coming to Australia is going down

I'm going down under and it's going down who books that I want to go Can I open field? Yeah, okay, what do you on show there? I don't know they've never I hope you up You're looking up. Yeah, look at up. I'm hook you up. I gotta go for you You're welcome to come with me, but why won't go I up. I'm okay. I'm gonna go for you. I'm gonna go with you. You're walking the cover me, but why will go I'll do my own show. What can we do? It's a duo.

Let's do that. All right. What do you got there? Come on. What do we got? You got February 21st, Uncle Vinnie's in Fairbridge, New Jersey. March 6th, 7th. You're at the Orleans and Drafthouse in the North.

I think we're only going to be there on the 7th. Okay. So, yeah, we had to cancel the Friday because of filming something. So, I'll be there the 7th, one show. So, if you had tickets Friday, making for Saturday, two shows, all right, get that together.

Okay. March 20th, you're at the half, happy theater in St. Petersburg, Florida. Yeah, that's with me, Jim Norton, Arty Lang. Yeah, it's gonna be a great show. We got a Jim Norton Bobby Kelly. He's face layeriously. I can't wait to have dinner with that guy.

We can sit there and eat online and do the show. And I know we don't we both know and drinks a bunch of fucking queers sitting around eating fucking french fries. Yeah, you sound. I know I fucking do. There's no black guys on the show though. I'm getting you can have what what blacks Then you got the comm march 27th 28th the comedy works in Albany and then May 14th 15th and 16th they're going back home to the laugh Boston Boom going back home laugh Boston and guess what I'm going to LA next week to film something for two days

So I'm gonna be in LA any you fucking cock suckers are out there. Let's hang out. Let's hit me up. I'm gonna fucking Maybe I want to do some show. I'm a good shows out there. There is a lot of some show So hit me the fuck up into a homocha beach. I don't know. Hamocha. Hamocha. Hamocha. What is it? Hamocha beach.

No, no, no, no. What's rule one? You know, fucking correct. Hamocha beach. Who is it? Hamocha beach. Hamocha. Now, is that as mamocha?

Can you get a mamocha? Comedy and magic. Comedy and magic. Comedy and comedy club. And Hamocha beach. Hamocha. You know what I mean? Is that Japanese? Where is it?

How you say it? And do you tell me? I'm saying it. You tell me. Homocha. I'm a Rosa. I'm a Rosa. I'm a Rosa.

What do you got to go, Po? Just give you a Twitter. Hit, fuck, listen. This is why you don't get Twitter followers. This is why people don't, because you... I know Silvens, W-I-L-S-Y-L-B-I-N-C-E. At Will Silvens, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. At Will Silvens, and soon my new app coming out,

we're gonna talk about that. Say my name, at Chris Scopo. At Chris Scopo. C-H-R-I-S-S-Y. Why, what are you having this for? Oh, spelling, baby. Jesus. And now, check, babe. She's a... And now, I...

Keep remote. Check it out. All right, check it out, you guys. Here's the deal. You guys love in this video that we're doing. Deepo is for hire. I hire them. You did a lot of great work for me.

He's great. He does a lot of great work. So if you want to get in touch with him, Deepo, what is the info they get in touch or you for? They can reach me on Twitter at R2Dpool and you can also check out my new website twitch.tv slash R2Dpool. I'll be broadcasting there on weekends,

hanging out with friends, playing video games, talking with chat, should be a fun time. Have some chat if you want to do that real quick. Sorry. Jason Chatfield, the guy who drew during our show today, he said, I'ma let you finish said nobody on this podcast ever I think that's funny. Fuck yo TV says scope oh computer in his pocket break it his head It's not so pretty tame that dude fucking hates me

He hates a fat blob. That is funny. He also says probably Norton. He also says Bobby your reads aren't a performance. There reads the reaction doesn't matter. He is a dickhead. Yeah, no God. And then after that, Mookie Phillips says shave time, shave money, shave my jugular. Jesus Phillips says, shave time, shave money, shave my jugular. Jesus. Yeah, it's pretty hostile. Hey guys, don't come to New Brunswick. Yeah.

Yeah, you want to wipe a darn shit in that. Just to shit, just shit fans. Yeah. Just fucking evil guns that want to just fucking make people sad. We had Lewis and Shed also. What do you say? What was he naked, shirtless? He said, I'm watching this with my son and he keeps calling Bobby dad that

Yeah, cuz you remember his fat data Yes did Bobby bang B Yeah, these are all the leftover fans on the tour guys Anyways, all right, so check it out. Um, what else do we have to do deep. Oh? Anything? Oh yeah. Send music in. You guys have a band, you get songs, you're an artist, you're a musician, you want to wrap something, we're gonna end them, wrap. If you guys want to send something in, please send it to D-Pu. What's your email people? Just find me on Twitter and please let the music be good. Yeah, well, Jesus. I don't think it's good though. We'll tell your fans, even if it's music. I want to play, even if it's shit, I want it to be played.

Well, we've been doing that. Jesus Christ, I'm so proud of you. I'm just kidding. You know, only a few songs. I'm kidding. We love it. Please send them in. Send them to the D-Poo.

We'll play your music during the breaks. We need your permission and we need your music. Make sure you go to robbercallylive.com for all my dates. And to buy my new pre-order, my new special, it's coming out in April. You pre-order it now. Please tell all your friends, you can, the $5 minimum donation at robbercallylive.com.

Please spread the word. It's my very proud of it. Me and Jim Cerberco and Bobcat and everybody did it. It's very proud of it. And I thank you, man. Yeah, it was a life. It was awesome. Awesome, man. Thanks. And I want you guys to buy it on it. It's great proud of it and thank you, man. Yeah, it was a life, it was awesome. Awesome, man, thanks.

And I want you guys to buy it on it and it's unedited longer and I'm very proud of it. I said that again. All right, so we're gonna go out on a fucking awesome right now. You want me to give you the beat? I'll do the hook. I'll do the hook freestyle.

You gotta do the hook, all right, ready? You're gonna do the hook? Yeah, here we go, here we go. And you watch me for the fucking thing. Hang on, let's get everything ready. You're gonna go hook. Yeah, here we go. Here we go. And you, you watch me for the fucking thing. Hang on, let's get everything ready. And is this the beat? Yeah. Yeah. It's TMC, the most underrated MC here in the NYC. I'm on a podcast. YKWD, yes that's me, I am the fucking best, I am like Dolly Parton's chest, I am truly blessed, I like the smoke's zest, nothing less, yo, here I go, I'm not a Joe Shmo, I'm pitchin' fastballs like I was Mike Muscina, more hated on then Venus

and Serena, yo my weed is green, I get mad Virginia, please believe I'm pitching fastballs like I was Mike Muscina, more hated on, than Venus and Serena, you know my weed is green, I get mad Vagina, please believe I'm taking this podcast by Stormlecker, Ricanca, Treena, oh shit, that's it, I guess I am done, someone take it over, we'll still Vince, yes. Yes Okay, I'll take it back because that was wax. Oh, man. I'm not gonna cut you slack Machumentary not a documentary adventures in comedy I'm the best period no comedy taking over this whole bureaucracy. Welcome to me. TMC. That's it. Thank you Robert Kelly. Mark you man. Oh shit. Oh shit. Mark you man. We have a hit here. Well, you. You guys are the best fans in the world.

Spread the word, subscribe, review, we love you. You know what, dude? Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Shart. Shart. Shart.

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