Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Sandy That C*nt

Episode Date: November 12, 2012

Hurricane Sandy blows through New York, and takes out Big Jay Oakerson in the process. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Ma mal, a Madrid.

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Oh God, I hate you. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Lerie. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Chrysler. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what dude?

You know what dude? I know what dude! If he bippy by a if he bippy boo, dippy dippy dhya, yabba dhyba doo. Dude! This is Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what this is? Oh And welcome to the you know what did Podcast dude This is the apocalypse

Post-apocalypse Sandy podcast We are we actually got another one coming out next week We did two tonight Anyways, I know there's I'm gonna fucking break the illusion that next week's I am looking right at the camera like fucking but rentals these say people didn't get together twice yes we did So this show this with this one is

We had a hurricane here in Manhattan new Jersey Jersey, and it's fucking no joke. And I'll be honest, I was in Chicago. I got stuck. I couldn't get home. I tried to get home. I was going to drive home. I was going to... Really even drive it?

I was going to drive it. I was filming in Chicago. And I'm Kelly, you're not to distract people with your fucking candy. Just put your fucking thing on. Why don't you take your phone on, start talking on the phone. I wanted this candy, so bad. I wanted to do cares. So you fucking doing this to everybody.

We're open in the podcast and people are fucking looking at your dumb candy. Candy, candy. I'm trying to fucking talk. I mean, we had a very serious, I know you don't love this country like we do because we're American You asshole get it But a lot of people lost a lot of shit and not only did the people lose things some people just lost electricity But for one two three four days all of a sudden your life is different When you don't have heat, when your kids,

or your wife, you don't have hot water, and you don't have electricity at night, you can't see, your neighborhood, you can't walk around, there's no food, you have no gas, the gas lines are redid, that was some crazy shit that's going on and it's still going on, okay? A week later.

Well, it is. They, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they going on. Okay, a week later. Well, it is. Yeah, very, very much so. Look, this is, it is. I mean, look, Manhattan has power, but this fucking Long Island doesn't have, someplace in Long Island, I don't have a Jersey. And here's the thing, all of these. These people who had the houses on the ocean,

those are the people that you wanted to be, always drove by those houses. Imagine someday, honey, we'd love to get the houses on the ocean. Those are the people that you want it to be. You always drove by those houses. Imagine someday, honey, we'd love to get a house on the beach. Those are those people who saved and lived there the whole lives or bought the place specifically wish that there has to be washed away at one point. I feel a too soon. I mean, think about this though, these people,

here's the thing you realize that these people don't have anything. Yeah. They're sleeping on a cot in a church or a gymnasium of a school right now. And these are grown people, these are people retired people. People who've had their families

and they're living out the rest of their lives don't have shit now. And it's weird because I'm bringing all this up because at me meeting you live in the city, Kelly, you live, nothing really happened to you, right? No, I just didn't have any transportation. No transportation. So you're daily routine, you have 20 minute ride to work every day on a train, turned into

a three hour fucking. Three hours. And still now, still not right. It's, it's fucking terrible. I've earned an hour to make a 35 minute trip. Right. So you had to go to the fucking work or get into town. What was the fucking nightmare? Feel anything happen to you?

I mean, I'm worth killing a story. I live right next to the gas station now. All day, all I hear is just horns. I'm yelling. Fight. Fight. People getting in fights for the line. It goes four or five blocks down the line for the gas station. Sorry to have bad. Four or five blocks. I've been in worse than that. What happened to you? Anything happened to you, little?

Well, we lost our power. You lost your power. I will. Six days. No, like three days, four days. How did you deal with that? We went up to a friend's place. We had friends that went out of town

for the weekend to the CMA Awards. So they gave us their apartment in Hell's Kitchen I lived I lived on 47th and 9th and we didn't we didn't get any flooding nothing We didn't lose any power we had everything Daly on the street had food yeah, so we had all Everything because I can afford to live better than you people I'm an away nice neighbor than you people. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm having a weight nicer neighbor than you. Oh, you're dumb. I'm a grandma's see. Dude, you're in the East, you're in the East.

First of all, you're fucking, you're not in a good neighborhood when you have a Dunkin' Donuts on your corner. Okay, it's a shit neighborhood. That's a terrible requirement. Absolutely. And you guys all let me know by not laughing. That's how comedy works.

Dude, your neighborhood is way shitty. I live in, I live in, I live in a fucking skull. Dude, your neighborhood is way shady. I live in... I live in... I live in Hellsy. That's what they call it now. My whole fucking neighborhood is beautiful. I live in a brownstone block. You've been to my place.

I lived on your block. Yeah, but your block and my block are two different things. If I lived in that apartment and your neighborhood, a block away, your neighborhood is not that nice. You'd clearly be squatting. The best thing about New York is the one block and you're fucking in hell. The other block, oh my god, it's beautiful. That's what New York is. You're a block that people kept on kicking your scooter down.

You told me that. That was you, wasn't it? Was it you? Did you kick my scooter down? Was he told me? Was it you? No, was he? He told me one time. Really?

You started, you weren't remember Bobby? Tell me one time. No, I didn't kick your scooter now. Are you kidding me? You had a fucking baggy scale. How you looking at me? And Gatedo's in the neighborhood. Gated my scooter.

Did you kick the white stallion? No. I mean, the white unicorn, it was the white unicorn. That was your name, the white unicorn. It was the white unicorn. I had a cell, I had a cell. I got too much. You get boydews, get done attacking your bike. The white unicorn. It was the white unicorn. I had to sell it. I had to sell it. I got too much shit. Boy, you kept attacking your bike.

But here's a deal. This was no joke. We went through it last year with Irene. It didn't affect us. Everybody prepared. Blah, blah, blah. It didn't hit. Oh, and a lot of people thought the same shit was gonna happen.

That was me. But bitches like Gikannos was like, no fucking way. I'm not wasting money on candles. I actually, I'm hiring a candle. Candles of those like no fucking way I'm not wasting money on candles. I actually I wrote candles of three dollars. Fuck I mean I mean the actually severity of Irene had a lot to do with how I ended up where I ended up

because um Irene at six inches of water come in my basement. That's where all my shit is. Well here's a deal. Let's cut back. We get a set you up because out of all the people here and the reason I went through everybody back. We get a set you up because out of all the people here and the reason I went through everybody and I didn't go to you is because you lost. I mean, explain to people you lost a lot. I mean, explain to people what happened here. Well, what happened was, um, where do you live? I live in what happened. Freep, freep, freeport long on. Right on like the harbors. So more like marinas. It's not really like ocean like beach, but there's marinas Mm-hmm very close to me. Mm-hmm. And the nautical mile for anybody doesn't know the areas is right near me and

When Irene last year came it was funny because it really wasn't everyone's gonna like, ah whatever That was not a big deal at all, but like when I went home It was like actually, but it was only six inches of water got my basement But that's six inches of water destroyed So much yet furniture my TV You keep TV in the basement. I have what the basement is like kind of my office Sanctuary it's kind of like I have my big TV in my video games, right? For her basement. Yes, like it. I am but it's almost it's almost that furniture. It's almost like a bed a big bed It's like a man cave. You guys sleep there. Flowers. Huh an Italian basement. But it's almost, no, it's not funny. It's almost like a bed. It's a big bed down there.

It's like a man cave. You guys sleep there? Do you sleep there? Uh, no. Okay, so you have your room and stuff upstairs. But this is your area. Yeah. Okay.

So, um, yeah, but it's like, I hang there all the time. So when I, um, when I, when I, uh, had last time, I re- like destroyed almost with such a little man of water, I was was like I can fight six inches of water. I think I could have fought that six inches of water and saved some of my stuff or most of it so I said I would stay behind this time and I sent I sent Carla my wife and Isabella to they went to their friend's house. Your daughter a lesbian couple No, your wife your wife Isabella is not a lesbian couple. Oh, yes, that's your wife and your daughter Let's just set that up. Yeah, we money money soon. So we'll see whatever they're offering

So I sent them to they went to one of their friends houses with with lesbian couple and they And there was like, you know out of the flood zone, but I was like, I'm going to stay behind. A lesbian couple or Alisa, who have an early fan base. Yes. I believe familiar with her master works. Okay. Um, so they stayed there and I stayed behind the house. And at about five, 30 at night, I was pretty evident that there was nothing else going to be. I just randomly went and looked at the front of the house

The basement was still dry the sub pump area was bone dry no problems at all but I just looked outside and At least tired deep water in one shot was coming down the road really all right Yeah, it was coming down the road like a wave look at but not even like a wave Just like a wall of like two foot high water Wave look, but not even like a wave just like a wall of like two foot high water Just coming all at once Down the road and it was kind of splitting off in the middle So I I said right away. I'm like all right. I'm not I'm not going to be able to stop this Like this is gonna be bad and and pretty soon did you probably like a rescue situation soon?

And it high tide is at 9 p.m. This is 5.30. Okay 5.30. Did you run down it? It was your TV out. Did you get your bed out? You left your TV down there. Didn't have anything to do with that. I called Carla. I go this has gotten bad. I'm not gonna be able to say this Get me out of here. No, but the same thing Same me and get me out of here. I need to come get your wife come get you. You listen. I'm gonna tell you I'm sorry. You're right, but You're a wife come get you. You listen, I'm gonna tell you what I'm sorry.

You're right, good. It's okay. But no, I didn't, by the way, with the sub pump and everything, I still thought we were gonna be six inches of water. Six inches was, it was gonna fuck up a lot of shit again. You don't understand, like that's like, we move there, the basement is like our storage. So it's just tons of boxes in one room,

tons of furniture in another room, but it's kinda just almost like stored there, if it makes sense. You know what I mean yeah, and I'm there's no way I'm gonna be able to move all that and save it so again the bottom level I assume is again going to get fucked up Right, there's what there's a TV down there your Xbox. Yes, this time a TV now what happened was my My mom and stepop gave me their old TV a couple years back. It was big TV But it's two so one of the floor standards. But like a big wide screen TV, or I loved it.

That was my big TV. And six inches because one of those floor standards, six inches killed it. It's all the machinery is down on the bottom. So now I have a 55 inch flat screen like nice high up. Right. And so that's not really an issue. My Xbox is up on the dresser.

It's the bottom drawer. The dresser is going to get fucked up again. It's what's going to happen. I'm assuming. So I call her to come get me. She comes to get me without our daughter. Thank God. Our daughter stays at the lesbian's house. And she is the story of how your daughter becomes a lesbian. She's here. She's like, yes, she, right for the plucking quick. Then she can meet you. I'm a little effort. She can meet your son.

Go fucking join us. Go together. Yeah, they get started all band and fucking be on the voice. Yeah. Yeah. So she comes to get me. She comes into how she parks in the driveway. She even says that she's coming in like the water is

about tired deep and she goes, uh, she got the in like the water is about tire deep and she goes She got the computer in the car is the one kinds of weird to get new to newer cars 2012 What kind of car Ford Explorer 2012 great car. It was I loved it. So Yeah, Jesus if that isn't a fucking yeah, it doesn't a hint for shadowing You're really she posted a driveway and she's already goes it's doing things We're saying like oil pressure love But it's just the computer is getting scruly from all the all the waters. So she comes in I wish she's were inside for five minutes tops I throw candles in a bag because the power'd already gone out over there. Mm-hmm. Not yet

Here yet So she comes in I throw together a bag candles And like my computer basically is by grab just like you know I think anything you figure out about you can't do with it. They got a constant and candles to jerk off you exactly Giving out the wax and use it for Loub. That's not Loub Lewis. That would be making really sticky and painful But I appreciate Fucking you and every fucking way dude. I fucking took a a hot one so what fuck you you didn't help me So

Yeah, go ahead myth busters Can you use wax as That's fine now Let's go man. Let's find out. I'm Lewis Gomez in a parade. Let me figure it. It was Jake Gomez Yeah, I'm Lewis Gomez in a beret. Let me figure it. Lewis Jay Gomez. The wester team we made earlier. Last day. Just it out.

I have a really. Kelly's gonna suck him off. One potato to potato for skin. And Jizz. I suspect Jizz anyway. She got it. So she goes back in five minutes. We throw this bag together and we leave. Yeah. We get in the car

I pull out we start driving to the block the water is rising so fast and we get about three blocks away Oh my god, two and a blocks away the car just completely shorts out just dies Oh no, yeah, and new cars for some shitty reason have a fail safe You can't even drop it and this is the latest problems, but you can't even drop it neutral to move it It's just locks completely so we're're there. And it's like, there's no choice. We have the dog in the back seat of the car to create the items. Christ. First of all, it was a live.

The legend. The legend. The dog. Carly grabs the bag. Yeah. And we get we just saw what we got. We got to go back to the house. That's it. So what? I have to drown this dog How far you guys loaded on the dark great two and a f box two and a f blocks away You made two and a f blocks your car dies and this is the thing with cars New cars are all computer based. Yep, so You're fucked if you were an older car. You probably would have made it through it. It's just yeah

It's just an engine that may have been built that may have been fucked up tomorrow because of the saltwater. Right. But just any water and just... New cars fucking gone. You're done. It's just like once that computer gets wet, you're done. You fucked. Absolutely. And it's supposed to be a rugged car too, you know? So we got to make the decision.

We got to walk back to the house. I'm in shorts and a t-shirt. So we're just trying to get the fuck out of there. Now I Jump out we're in way steep water. Oh my god. I grabbed the dog out of the back seat in the crate and I walk with the dog over my head Carly gets out of the car. She's hysterical because and I didn't put this together right away too But you know maternal instinct is strong. She's bawling hysterically because she realizes now we're not going to get back to Isabella. Yeah, but they're with Lesbians. She's fine. She's strong.

There's nothing. There's nothing exactly. There's nobody I'd rather have my daughter with than a fucking pair of Lesbians. Yeah, what are you gonna do? Clamp-ball is fun. He makes sense. He makes sense. He makes sense to anything.

Fucking great food they have that they grew in their little shitty garden. No. They have a root seller that they have that they grew in their little shitty garden. No, they have a root seller that, they have doomed day, doomed day fucking vage preppers. Yeah, worst case scenario, they could just head butt their fucking short hair at heads to the fucking house. Yes. Wow.

I'm worried about that. Wow, someone needs more weed. Short hair. Short hair. Oh, yeah. I can't. I can't. I can't. Short hair. When you walk us through the water, Hair Take my ass When you walk through the water wasn't our current

Yes, and you could feel it on your leg My shoes on yeah, why I'm trying to like keep my shoes on But it dogs on I had construction boots. There's nothing to make you wear that over the leather You have to wear a male is it nothing your seeing your scarf off? Because I wish it was. There's no scarf, buddy. I was t-shirt short. Will your mittens wet?

Mine, no mittens. No mittens this one. No, it's hard to get the mittens. I was the vans. It was the vans of the vans. There's bigger problems. My mittens are soaked. Jay died because of his outfit got wet and took him under.

God was just trying to redress Jay. The density of my amount of clothing. The density of his mittens and his scarf took him down. All right, so go ahead. So you, you're out, you, so you, you five minutes, this went from tire high to waste high water. Yeah, and this is the exact moment where you truly did not appreciate

any more lost jokes because you you get that a lot. Lost. I'll say the current as well. If anyone has never been caught in a current before, it's like, it wasn't so bad. The problem was we're going. We're walking. She's hysterical. But it's like a movie.

I don't know what to do. So I'm just doing like, I'm going, Carla, I need you to be strong. I'm like, come on. We got it. She's hysterical. She goes, we're not gonna get back to see. I'm like, I need all, I need you in 100% right now. I need you to, so we get back to the house.

What is, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, Kelly, can you be calling? Can you be here, ready? Come on, focus. I can't see, she's fine. She's fine. Leave me here, I need you. We gotta survive right now. I can't see fine. She's fine I need you we got a survive right now

Here's here's Lewis can we do Lewis's if Lewis's wife? Are you be the wife and you be Lewis ready? Don't go action Just shut the fuck up Lewis's wife are you be the wife and you be Lewis ready? Let's start with action. Lay me. Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. We gotta get back down. I'm trying. I'm trying. Sport. Stop.

God damn it. Sport. Wait here. I don't want to. Wait. He wouldn't mind. Just I'll be right back. I'll be right back.

Hang on. You stay here. I'll go to get back to the car my jeans The common start come on. Oh shit. All right. Go ahead. We get back to the house. I mean, it's like breathing Lewis the fuck I got he's don't know angry account. We get a little both Hi guys, he's dying to angry at Kent. We hit both a little both. We're out.

We get back to the house. Like literally breathing heavy like holy shit that was to create one of the craziest things I've ever been apart of. Just you know that two and a half blocks. We go back in the house. We don't know what's going on. Now we get downstairs. It's like, all right.

Well now it's like starting. Can I say is there shit floating in the water? I mean, do you know? Is there a much boat? No. Do you see other people? Nope. No people. So it's just you waste high water. It's your darkness. It's dark. Do you know? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, In the dark, waste high water. It's in, and winds are fucking nuts. Crazy, yeah.

Crazy. Carrying a dog crate over your head. Yeah. And your wife is fucking panicking. You're not panicking too. I'm just trying to keep it together. I just want to, I know we gotta get the fuck back to that. You're going back to this house that's going to be flooded.

I guess the current. Really? Yeah, so we're getting the house, now look at the first floor of the house is even like when you get in the house, it's a few steps off the ground. And then when you get in the house. Now, looking at the first floor of the house is even like when you get in the house, it's a few steps off the ground and then when you get in the house, it's like three more steps and then it's the first level of the house really starts there. Okay. The basement subterranean.

So, we grade word. You use it again if you want. Later on, just throw it back in. Just throw the pump, the subterranean pump. Yeah. So, we go in the basement now and it's again, bone dry. Get the fuck. No, it's again, bone dry. Get the fuck.

No, listen, it's bone dry. This is outside. At the front of the house, it's rising up, but it's still not even like, it's like you're out of the water. If you're on the sidewalk, you're in knee deep water. If you're in the street, you're in waist deep water. That much of a jump off. Wow.

When you get to the steps, our outside steps, you're on steps. You know, you're on on you're on definitely ground right Solid ground that's what they call that we have subterranean, but this is solid ground. We're talking We get inside In like a few minutes again, we go downstairs We we just kind of check a few things out. We go back upstairs. Yeah, we hear a We uh we just kind of check a few things out. We go back upstairs. Yeah, we hear a

Fucking like I like allowed like lawnmowery, so it's a generator. We hear our neighbors. Yeah Have a generator. We call them. They have like a come over. Fuck it. What are we gonna do? We're drinking and just We can we'd hang it out and let's just fucking kick it'll be great Which by the way is the attitude of almost everybody in New York City during this whole thing Well, yeah, but not not in this dire of a scenario though. I think I get a long island now. Oh, yeah, it's a little different. But they have a new they have like look cars are fucked. We're blah. The stuff's your stuff's gonna be fucked. Just get over here. Let's we'll ride it out together. We have a generator

with two gallons of gas. We got about two more hours left. We have TV or whatever. We'll figure out fucking TV. What no actually what they were actually running a lamp they were actually using the cameras to keep That's a big fucking difference The last one you went from CNN TV to We know we ultimately we ultimately ended up plugging the TV there's but for news Okay, yeah, yeah, well, you're not gonna watch fucking Matt about you the ultimate hell would hope I ultimately ended up like I Notting off the tower high still want actually I didn't even I'll say that we all did I did that at the movies

It's a gold call. Oh fucking Eddie Murphy. Please be funny again. Please for my fucking For the sweet Jesus for low stop doing these just be funny. Just fuck be funny once again. Go ahead. So so This fuck be funny once again. Go ahead. So um, so Lewis is resting his fat face on the microphone Zombies kill people outside Obama one. That's probably a people screaming No, it's a black girl screaming. So that's why you're saying that you're racist breaking news Democrat send them to clear we didn't know we had nothing to say did you show you computer if you fucking number I need I need I need

down power power oh fuckin Kelly oh right here's your all you fucking twat hello my computer where I write me jerks She's my she's the actual internet for the show she runs that up hang on shut your face for the love of God She runs out of power. Why am I talking to like her? She runs out of power. She doesn't think to plug her fucking thing and she just shuts it off The only thing you have to do is just the only thing on the show you have to do is be funny

It won't what no, it's a different plug you fucking numbs go Go ahead Jay. I'm sorry Kelly. You know what Kelly? Just apologize Kelly. You don't have to apologize, fine. But I like the way she apologizes. Fucking you owe me one. You owe me to apology. Say it, you apologize to him. I apologize to him. Apologize to him.

Right now. Say it in the mic. Say it in the mic. Spit on his cock. Sorry, right. No problem. All right Kelly, I'm sorry for yelling. All right, just don't fucking let it happen.

I'm gonna get you stupid Australian. We are. You know, we fucking let it happen again. Stupid Australian. We are. You know, we fucking need it. Speaking baby, do you? And the fucking vegetable, and the fucking king of his. But you should get it. I was fucking it. Tell him I fucking stupid.

Oh, God. Fucking. We hear the generator going. So we call him and I get come over. So now, this is a difficult thing to do. I realize, like at the moment, making the decision to be like, okay, we're about to go back into way, steep water. So we're like, all right, we're going to do it.

I go, let me run downstairs. Yeah. And like maybe grab some pants from your place. Yeah. So they're still in, you're not in water in their house. No, but listen, but we came up in five minutes, but what they're upstairs there. So you live in a house and there's somebody above you.

No, no, explain this. They live next door, another house next door. So you got to walk back. I walk through a wastey water again, get a decision, but they have a generator which does mean something that's like, my's will go the fuck over there. Right. While there's something

You know some kind of light, you know right yeah, so We make a decision to go over I go all right that was it we all we did was when we came in from like from walking in the thing We went downstairs. We came upstairs. We let candles so 10 minutes rough stairs maybe okay, and we decide all right We're gonna go back over there. We go back downstairs to grab a bag no point. It's already like a foot and a half a water in minutes inside the basement. So, oh, God. This shit's all there's not even a, and hear that. What? You're fucking dumb fat lips rubbing on the microphone. Can you please stop that? Re either fall asleep or add something to the conversation. If you listen, you'll be able to jump in everyone. That's how podcasts work. You listen. Are you telling me? Yeah.

And I spent the last year doing tour. Are you telling me how podcasts work? Yeah, just stop rubbing your mouth. Stop that. I know. It's some rural fixation. I hear you. You hear my fucking shit. No, I hear you mouth. You don't hear my mouth. I don't care. I don't care if I don't hear it. I'm lying right now don't do it Go ahead Jay I was already a foot and have what which means it's complete darkness So I can't even start unplugging shit and bring stuff up. I just know so I'm like I hope this doesn't go Much higher hopefully and we have to bail. We just gotta go at this point. It's more like scary of a situation.

Because you can't get electrocuted. It's rising so fast, yeah. So we get out of the water and we go upstairs. We go back in the wastey water, go back, we go in the neighborhood. Now the water though is starting to hit the steps in front of the house. And your car is there.

Your car's back in the middle of the road and it knocks away. And how far is the water up on that car when we got out of it It was all what as soon as we open the door it poured into the doors So it was like it went in the car immediately. Yeah, and so it's there now you're walking back waste deep water Yeah, and we're so we go back out the neighbors You have a bag of clothes over your head no clothes no clothes. I thought you were going to get jeans They're the gee there's when we were down there It was so scary having that foot in half water rising so fast like I you even think about getting pants

But we can fuck back up so fuck it. Let's go over fuck it. Let's go. I'm already wet in these clothes So we walk over there. We grab the dog we go over there and waste deep water They have a generator. They are They're like whatever we just have some vodka and a little smokeable and whatever. Yeah, great neighbors. You get smoked cigarettes in their house, which was great. And it was a nice house. So it wasn't even like, so your cigarettes didn't get wet walking from the car.

And they were in my computer bag with my weed in my bowl. My God. Oh, God. That was by chance, luckily, thank God. Luckily. Luckily. Yeah, as a, luckily thank God. Luck. Luckily. Because I didn't need those things. Yeah, as a chance. Luckily.

OK. I think it all worked out by chance luckily. Yeah, thanks. We go in. But now the water is rising up. Jeez. The front steps of the house, like the getting to the front of the front door.

We go inside. At this point now, it's probably like seven, something, 730 maybe. We go in. They're asking you to try to dry off a little bit. And like, you know, they're taking it very light. Right. We go in. They're asking you to dry off a little bit. And they're taking it very light. And we they have snacks. And we brought like Carla, who

grabbed snacks out of the cupboard to bring stuff over to try to be like, you know, as we could with it. Is this is this couple of Dennis Hoffman and Bob was right, Sam, from Meet the Falkers too. It would be great now. Another young, the guy is, the guy is Hispanic. Dustin Hoffman, shit. And the fuck nobody corrected the other young the guy is the guy is Hispanic dust and Hoffman shit. And the fuck nobody correct me.

I had to correct myself when you make it worse. And then some dudes went Dennis Hoffman. Dustin. Fuck me. Dennis Hopper. No, Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman, but you were getting those two names. I did.

I did. I got a few of some little tired. It's late. Go ahead. But it is late back to the story. So this couple we go in there and it's going great, but very quickly, that water starts rising again so quick that it's getting to like the front step of the front door. And it's getting like, now it's like, and now this, this guy is starting

to break down. This guy was very confident. Now I started to do a thing where he's like, fuck, man, man, we really should just left and like, This is getting bad. Now the car, his car, that's in their driveway is buried in water. Sorry. And the garage is already up to like a car's height of water outside and it's creeping up the front steps. And it's getting there and the generator is being pulled back now. It's almost by the front door. We look out back, I think the water out back. So I know now the basement where my stuff is, is six feet of water.

Wow. Because the water's so high out back in the house. Right. Out back in my house, there's steps that go below surface to the front door, to the back door, where it goes right to the basement. Yeah. You couldn't even tell where, where it goes right to the basement. Yeah. You couldn't even tell where steps

or anything that it was the water. So you could have swam over the backyard fences without touching fence if you swam. Jesus. That's a highlight. Did you do that? That would have been great to do. I mean, you know what though?

I mean, it sucks that you could have been like years later to you kids. I swam. I swam. I swam right across. That water was all these fences. Um, this was where J.S. slices of belly open. Yeah.

Yeah. You see this guy? Yeah, you see these seven scars with any kind of anxiety. Your father died. You have like mouse with anxiety at that too, right? Bobby, like you have your own like anxiety and I have it now that I quit smoking in the last year. I've actually I have anxiety.

Yeah, I do every once in a while. I get it. I got a last last week. I want to know where you start thinking like, you know, it's like, if I have a hard attack or something terrible happens right now, like, it's it. Yeah. They can't get to you. So we eventually plug in the TV to turn the news.

The news says if you have an, it's a local. We went like local long, I own news. Did you take out your earring nose piece no so it case you did die at least you would have to be humiliated in the fucking never go who's this fucking flaming mitten asshole with an earring no

Scott I don't have a good blood this guy died haha oh these are the guys we want to die hearing those assholes we plug in the we plug in the fucking TV to check the news and local Long Island news. They actually say the war. It's so terrifying. They go, big J. If you are a loser, if you haven't, if you haven't evacuated already, it's too late for you. The situation's now become dire and life threatening. And the war is crisis. So at 9 p.m. high tide, 903 actually. You're not even there. They, though, it, though, as it gets to 9 p.m. High tide 903 actually you're not even there. They did though. It'll as it gets to 9 p.m.

Okay, the water comes right to the front door of the house. Of this guys that house. Yeah, this guy's house, which also means ours to it's the same side. Okay, right to the front door And we're like he's he's calling like now he's the point where he's calling like emergency And we're like he's he's calling like now he's the point where he's calling like emergency Like hotlines and they're saying like the guy's going he goes, you know, he's doing the thing It's a guy we were ready to man. We stayed behind He's like there's nothing we could do for you man like pray for the best stay dry and do we can like he's right it out He goes they can't even send boats through until the storm is over Because they said boats and they did boats will come through the street

That's how high the water is wow, so Now we're thinking about the plan of pot. So what other than what the news says is? Now, did you think about sticking your head in the water and calling your people? Mm. Mm. Mm. I lost 70 pounds to get a fucking whale song joke.

Right. Mm. Did it? That's where it was. That's where it was. J's lose. The way. The way. Big Jay's lose and way. All right, let's catch. All right, go ahead. So, um, the news says one of the, now the, now the terrifying thing.

I got one second. Stop it. Stop touching the my lesh. You can't touch your fucking gorgeous lips on the mic thing unless you're talking. You know exactly how to get me to stuff. The news says the. You can talk. You can talk anytime.

The scary. You too. Lewis and Lewis's defense. He just heard the story. I've heard the story. I haven't heard it at all. I know what my 40,000 listeners haven't heard it. Yeah.

I haven't. No, that's why I'm not adding anything to it. But you need to go in like 10 minutes. Yeah, okay. James that is actually almost there. It's almost there. So when a high tide hits 903, we feel a sigh of relief. What the news says, the skis are scary as a moment for me

where I was really like, we might have to really make peace with the fact that we might drown the death. Because it says every hour on the hour for the next three hours, there's going to be high tide further up the shore. And that may possibly, they don't know, but he says possibly will produce another surge of seven to fifteen feet and we only had ten feet left in the house. And you can't swim in that water. You would die from hypothermic so cold the water. I'm already free. I'm already wet. God knows what's on me.

Like the sleds like sewage. And the basement it was sewage. Yeah. So I'm walking through shit water essentially again again. Again in life. Like the first 10 years you're career. In the last two. But yeah, so it just and not to be like anti-climactic anyway, but like it just didn't that just didn't happen and and at 11 o'clock

It started to receive so it didn't it didn't come in the house it never came into the actual words the dog and all But it's about to tell you Bobby it stopped on the lip of the last And there's a thing it didn't rain that much. No, they said if it rained, if it fucking rained in this hurricane, it would have been so much worse for people like you, because if it was raining, you get a couple inches of rain, you're done. You're fucking done. Yeah. No, that would have been, it would have been tough, but it didn't, and it started to pull back. And then it was like fucking mad max. It went, it went to pull back by about about five in the morning It had pulled back to like below the driveway Now and it was like that knee deep water at that point in the street

I mean that guy went out and like started like siphoning gas. I got a car and shit like he was literally Stealing gas. Yeah, yeah, why? For the keep the generator like there was no information of any people. Did people know that he was doing that? No. I hope Jay does job. So five, so five in the morning, you're stealing gas from people. Yeah, that would need that gas. Just our enemies.

Oh, so did you go to your car? Well, did you try? Can't couldn't siphon out that we had a full time. Yes, couldn't siphon out that the new cars have the spring thing. You can't get in there and something. But I mean, before you know, you you can do the broomstick by the way. And saying siphoning by the way, he's siphoned. He had three vehicles of his own that we're trying to pull from that.

We can look look. Look, I get where you're trying to do right now. But we only got this podcast. You're a fucking evil person. Oh, yeah. No, okay. Which is this. This some family went, honey, I'm going to don't worry.

I got the generator. I'm going to siphon the gas out family went honey. I'm gonna don't worry. I got the generator Siphon the gas out of your car and you have a full tent and you want to hear evil I'll tell you evil like there's a guy only one guy my neighborhood I'm going on my daughter walked a dog one time dog shit in front of their house. Yeah, she went back Walked dog back home to go get a bag to clean up the shit. Yeah, while she was walking back This guy came right out behind with a shovel. Yeah. Pick the other. He had a shovel murder. No, he he got the guy. Jesus Christ, I thought that was real. No, I'm fucking idiot. No, the guy, the guy picked up the shit with a shovel, followed her

behind when she went in the house to get the back. He threw the shit at our front door. Yeah. Which I like a problem. I was like, I was like, hey, isn't the adult thing like maybe come say Hey, you know daughters not pick it up the shit I'll correct that like we're all adults here. Yeah, yeah, and I went over there and we're all adults over there Five minutes later. I went over there. Where's your husband the lady and so where's your husband? She was he went out with the kids and I was like well I have a fucking party because your husband's throwing shit at goes, well, your dogs shitting in front of our house, I go,

you're a fat cunt. Tell him I live at 14. Or I just give my address. I was like, I don't want to, I don't want to come back here looking for him. I was like, I said, make him come looking for him. It's no way to do it. You're a dumb fat cunt. Tell him I live right over that house.

I would love it if that, that was our fucking turn on word. So the point is, you just fuck Jay right there. Just fuck, you're, what'd you say? You're a dumb, oh, oh, oh, oh. I would love it if that that was our fucking turn on word so the point is a fuck J right there just fuck your What'd you say you're a dumb? Oh? Did you siphon gas from their car? Yes, and? His house is condemned. Why is this house condemned foundation cracked in the storm really? We'd be able to hear Jay clap if he wasn't wearing Vamos, vamos, vamos. ¿Vamos a estar aquí con J Club si no estaba en el mundo?

¡No! ¡No! Me gusta que me metí en mi clave. Sí, es así. brech y muchos más para disfrutar con familia y amigos la navidad cobra vida con Ife ma Madrid entre en Ife ma punto es y compra tu entrada y Fema Madrid siente la inspiración I'm sorry. We're staying we're staying in the Bronx. We there's been a lot of like outpour like people are giving a lot of love for me and I do appreciate this. There's people that have it so much take a beer with you dude back to wherever you're staying. When are you are you gonna be able to go home? Ultimately yes. Yeah, and there's no electricity there. No, there's electricity now, but they have to check all the outlets in the basement before you turn anything like that on. Everything the basement is destroyed. We went back on Sunday with TV's gone. TV's gone. How high did the water come in the basement six feet?

What not matter what the TV's I'll tell you the tea. I'm six two. Wow, so Kim right up to your eyeballs Yeah, we have right at the bottom a Underwear drawer. I had a pie. Thank God I had dry on like all my underwear and she was TV's gone But I only TV the TV was on easily a 600 pound like kind of old like a real nice like flowed away like fucking a dresser yeah it was on top of a dresser school dresser that you forget the TV the TV drop straight up the fucking dresser was flipped by water there were refrigerator downstairs flip the washer dryer all flipped over on the side just water rising it's fucking great no joke man did and we went back on Sunday

and started like pulling shit out and just put it in the backyard Which is about to get all shit on again from the Northeast. You don't realize like how powerful like Nature is like water dude. I went surfing in Puerto Rico one time and wrinkle in Puerto Rico hang on and the ocean what Kelly I'm stupid Fucking you haven't said anything about 30 minutes. Anything you can say is good. I don't want to interrupt Jay's fucking story. Here's a thing though. You're about to tell us how powerful nature is. I'm pretty sure we have a 36 minute story on I think we get it.

Do you want to go surf and have water in there? I like a wipe down. I don't know, Jay. Do you guys ever in awe at nature? Oh my God. One time it rained and I was looking at my window and I saw the the the puddle grow. My roller blades got wet. My mama told me it was god bowling. This guy just lost everything. Okay and we get it it Mother Nature's crazy Nature you can't make you scare

You scare him man You don't even know like watching me off my little stagapal time it was fucking snowing And I couldn't get my fucking hop a chopper lock on his and my roller blades keep locking up Making you more Mac and more Mexican. I love that we just keep coming over shitty accents I'm making you more Mexican. I love that we just keep coming over to shitty accents. Oh, Jay, man, I look, if you guys, you have a donation button that you get on your show, how can people help you if they wanted to help?

He wears a donation button. This is please help me. There's people that really need help, man. There's people that really, really need help. I lost stuff. I'll rebuild my stuff. And I have insurance on a call. Just put your teeth on.

I'll rebuild better. Stronger. I will have a, you know what, this fucking piece of shit is for a prize. I'll tell you what this piece of shit did. Because I've been trying to break my fucking hotachi upstairs my 42 inch for years. I've been trying to knock it over.

I'll have fucking hurricane come in and take it out. You a fucking psyched. Because now you go to get to spend the money on the fucking hundred inch That you really wanted okay, you left that suck it down there where you dumb x-butt now you're gonna get the black Xbox you get to get all new shit Yeah, but it's like yeah, I don't make that kind of money Even the for the owner of the house the home ours insurance it doesn't cover the contents of the basement So August house is it it's it's my mother-in-law's owns the house. Okay, so she owns the house you guys live there Yeah, and but we pay but we but we pay like the mortgage and stuff

Of course, but she No, just a moment we miss mother-in-law's basement is it got come on bra? There's nothing I could have done man There's nothing I could have done, man. Dude, it went from one inch to six feet in five minutes. I got candles. Bro, you didn't even say it, bro. Bro, my door's poster got ruined. Yeah, man.

I had a, dude, I have a Steve Jobs poster, man. From a Spencher's gift. Oh, dude, my level amp got totally fucked. Dude, all. My collection of empty beer cans. Dude, I got a couple of things. jobs poster man from Spencer's gift. Oh dude, my loveling got totally fucked. Dude, all my collection of empty beer cans. Dude, my phone. You know what the saltwater does to a wallet chain man? Corros it on contact.

Oh dude, I had a Captain America bed sheet set. Listen man, well thank you dude, I'm so sorry that happened. I'm so glad you saved I'm fine I had my breakdowns my mom got me either apologize for snapping at my mom because you know the old time She kept saying the old thing when I talk where she goes look you guys are safe and the thing is it was and there's a point of that I was very happy to just be safe. Come on in guys. We were just talking about no, it's okay We're wrapping up right now. We were just talking about, no, it's okay. We're wrapping up right now. We were just talking. You guys lost your power too, right? Yeah. This Tony and Rose, they

work at the, they're going in the room. They're actually staying here. We're gonna wrap up soon. Yeah. They, um, Jay lost everything. Yeah, he lost, he lost everything. Hang on one second. Hang on one second. Okay. See that microphone talking to that. This is this is Tony He works. He's the fucking the Oz of the underground and all these places if anything you guys He does everything if he he he fixes everything makes everything and makes you go to the village underground anything over there That looks cool or awesome. That's because of him. He's literally sending him over to Jason. He's fucking knows little Mexican, okay? What? Magical Mexican. There you go. He's not a dirty Puerto Rican like somebody in this room, but you guys you guys talking to Mike

Can let me hear you? That's my title right now. There you go, but you guys lost power. He sounds like my busy. See a del Toro impression Yeah, he sounds like how Lewis's dad should sound. Yeah, Lewis you fucking stupid idiot Actually see what Kelly is right sit over there. All right, you're gonna say well anyways, you lost your power. Yes, where are you guys? Beth page. Oh shit You want your power your ability to build things? Oh We're running some lights with my car and we had a TV and we still have hot water So, you know, it's not that bad. Yeah, but you mean it was pretty fucked up losing powers not a fuck

You mean having no light sucks and in the neighborhood It's fucking sucks, but I mean you you put it again so low that there are the people they lost a lot of shit This this guy over here lost his lost his house There's some people lost like and his car his car Fucking shit the bed and he got stuck in it But you know they're pulling bodies off the beach and sat in the island so guys I also quarter gallon of milk and you know it just out here. It depends on what's important to you my beer got skunked It really did

It really did well we got a power we have the die coaks, you know outside the house So they're fucking cold so we cool I just let me know what I hope I hope Jay steals them to I hope Jay steals them to help Jay goes with his creepy name my diet coax We're gonna take it my ball going home attitudes my diet coax What happened Now we're not gonna steal those Well, it's funny too because everybody everybody says something everybody in New York is like at least Even the people that it was really bad. I'm not saying that the people lost people died or whatever,

but the people that lost everything, everybody says the same thing. It could have been worse. It could have been worse. And I mean, not to fucking sound corny or whatever, but I mean, I think from Katrina to now that people know, get the fuck out. I'll never make this. I'll never try again. You're gonna be six inches of water. I'll fucking get the fuck out. I'll never make them. I'll never try again. You're gonna be six inches of water.

I'll fucking get the hell out. But I'll tell you, but there is something, but just to touch on what you just said, though, there is, it's all the cliche. I said, where I apologize my mom for yelling at her, but like for the 50th time, I'm on the phone with her. And I'm actually back at the house now, days late and spent like half the day,

just I waited in line for gas for like two hours and now I'm just pulling, just, as you grab a box, the box just rips apart. And it's like, oh, every blanket we have and all that, you know, it's pulling all the shit out in electronics and whatever we had in boxes stored for you know, when we moved eventually.

Oh my, my, my image is interjecting. You left like, you never went back to where Isabella is and the story. Yeah, you left him with a lesbians. Is she okay? She, she, she, did they own her now? Isn't that the lesbian role? You were literally, she's got a nice patch of hair on the back of her. Let me say both things. Well, you say we miss a lot of shit. Yeah, he left his daughter with two lesbians. Yeah. She got a short haircut now. They went back. They, they, he stayed at the house, sent his wife and daughter to stay with lesbians okay he needed to be rescued his wife came back in the house to five

minutes the water came up a foot two feet the car stalled in the water they got out water rushed into the car let a walk waste high with the dog back to the house now the daughter stuck his wife flipped out frantic crime he had to give her a speech like fucking you know John Q sack and fuck we need you to be fucking at a hundred percent look at me look at me survival's a game of inches right across the fight they snap out of they go back they go in the house for a couple seconds it's just filling up with water they go to the neighbors we have a generator they go back to the house let me guess some stuff it's too crazy they have to drop everything come Come back to water. The basement six feet. They go back to the house. The water comes up literally to

the step, like an inch, the ridge of the top step of coming in and flooding everything. And then it starts to recede, but they lost everything. Everybody in the block, the neighbor that he fucking hates that through dog shit is house, because his dog shouldn't have a bag. We're back to the house to get a get a bag, supposedly, I don't believe that either. But, it's probably the seventh time this fucking is lesbian daughter did this, and he finally threw the shit at the door. He went back to the house and said, is your husband home, no, but your dog shit along,

you're a fat cunt, tell you, husband, I'm over here. And we didn't hear the end of that. Did he come and see you? Called the cops. Called the cops. Is that illegal? Did all of somebody's wife a fat cunt? No, it wasn't illegal, but it's call the cops? Is that a legal? To call somebody's wife a fat gun? No, it was an illegal bitch.

Correct. A big complaint was there. Yeah, threat. Okay, did you go to jail for that? No. Okay, you want a court for that? No. Okay, great. So there we are.

And then you guys walked in, you tiptoed in like little elves. And not because you're little, either. I'm not saying that. But you're both little. And then you guys stepped in at the putter. Yeah, Rose stood on our tippy toes and you guys came in you guys would be fucked in a flood by the way.

You guys wouldn't make the flood he had you wouldn't have made. We have a kayak. You have a kayak. You're back in the game. You're back in the game. Is that a pike in a Spanish accent? You have a kayak.

Yeah, it makes you have a look. You know what you're racist. you can't force racism on myself He's done he's going to bed. All right, well and Obama. I think Obama's gonna win too Well, I'll tell you right now. I don't know if everybody cares, but I do have the results. Jay. Thank you so much for Well, oh the morning the of all cars that got buried in water on 90 to or 2001 Toyota Camry fucking turned on after being buried in water and the or 2001 Toyota Camry, fucking turned on after being buried in water,

and the alarm going off all night because the system shorted on 2001 Camry in the morning started and was able to drive us to get to who's gone in the morning. The neighbors were staying at. They had a Toyota Camry. It was buried underwater, buried to the roof, started up in the morning. And the old, and the old, and the old, and the old, and the old, and the old, and the old, and the old, and the old buried to the roof, started up in the morning.

And the old, I mean, I was weird thing in that four mile drive to get to where Isabella was. Uh, of we saw me in the road like 20 cars, easy. 15 of them were to go very weird. Toyota Toyota is a fucking great car and they, they run on basic shit. Just like old cars used to run. They have, they don't have too many. I'm, if I'm getting a car, I'm getting an old fucking car. I'm getting like old cars used to run. They have, they don't have too many, if I'm getting a car, I'm getting an old fucking car. I'm getting an old car just to have,

just to have that shitty car, because when the solar flare hits and some shit goes down and the big wave comes in, I'm gonna start that fucking Toyota with 200,000 miles and drive to New Hampshire, IA. I got on its last leg. I got a 2005 Hyundai Santa Fe we have also but on its last leg. It's a hundred and fifty some thousand miles from student road stuff Yeah, yeah, and still still go. It's the only thing that's getting around is that the teller able to get through this

Purple car. Well, then I'm glad you made it. I'm glad everybody made it. I'm glad you guys didn't you know But it's true that everybody in New York as I could could have been worse It could and people are helping people. There's a little fucked upness going on here and there, but you know It's it's it's it's man. I'm getting the fuck out. Let's tell the people that guys. Let's next week too. I'll be really funny This is a great show man. This I look this is fucking very interesting. I wanted, I didn't, nothing happened to me, dude. Well, the thing I wanted to say about my mom though, is that when I, when I said, she died, no, I never got to think about snapping at her.

Oh. Was I was there pulling on stuff out and everything. And she's kept saying she goes, she goes, it's just stuff, it's just stuff. And like, I think people are saying that a lot of people, but you know what, the end day, it's like, I started getting tear, I was like, it's all my stuff. It's like, it's, it's, it's like, it's all my stuff.

I'm alive. Like, I had to go back on Sunday. I had two t-shirts and a pair of jeans that a button broke on I had to go back Sunday That's just came apart Not wait, not wait, Bobby. I had to go back on Sunday like literally pull out of like puddles like close and see if they can be washed and like dried And what I'm on shows dude. No, no absolutely I mean, that's my point being as I'm sad, it's awesome. But it's still a thing, it's like it's all your stuff.

It does hurt, man. You're absolutely right. It's fucking hurts, it's just shit. But people lost their lives, and that's like, that's fucking, we survived. And I thought we weren't. People lost the home, the whole thing. Like it's gone.

And they paid for it, their whole lives. Guy went to a job, a woman went to a job, and they raised the family, and their house is gone. And they don't have a backup plant. Some of them don't have insurance, because they live there so long, you don't need it. And they have nothing. How are they going to, and the government's not going to come in and rebuild. They're not dropping FEMA fucking houses around.

I don't, maybe we'll see what the fuck happens with FEMA. They said maybe for our stuff, you know, maybe some FEMA stuff. I'll say what the only thing. You really want to get fucking shitty South America clothes? I want to get patriots, the patriots last year won the Super Bowl shirt. I think today's gonna show up with a pair of Fila shorts like long. Yeah, Red Sox fucking 2000 world championship shirt. Fucking wearing a pair of lottoes. Yeah, Red Sox fucking 2000 world championship. Sure fucking wearing a pair of lotto's

The only humor the only humor I was able to bring that whole thing which I did think was which made the neighbors We were staying with life. Yeah, once once the water started receiving everyone did like the shoulders drop a little bit It was kind of cool. I got no that means I go this has been I go this has been so much like a movie I said I just got to go tempt fate and I just went to the giant glass doors and I stood in front of me go yep Looks like everything is gonna be just fine. Yeah, I see like a shark would come by Yeah, that's funny. Kelly does have the fucking the posture of an orange peel have the fucking the posture of an orange peel. I'm always posture's making my hurt. Kelly looks like she's always saying I don't know.

She's right now like you've got a second chance and you know like all this shit you can just get all that shit back if you want to or maybe this shit that you have to get rid of before and you just never have the balls to do it. Oh you know it's it's it's it's it's true though there's a lot of shit. Like in my closet, I'm looking in my closet, like I'm trying to have a kid, you know, but I have a one bedroom, you know, a duplex. And like, where the fuck is a kid gonna go?

I'm gonna have to dump a lot of that shit. So what he, what T is saying, I like to call him T on the show. Because what he's saying is, but a lot of that shit is, is, push it. And you maybe didn't need it. You're, dude, you're 50, so I'll have to listen. That's his second, that PlayStation TV.

TV, TV, TV. Yeah, he knew big kids. Oh yeah, I forgot. The basement was his room. Dude, his spot where you, that's why he's hard on that. That TV was riding your mind, dude. Yeah, dude, now you can write real jokes and write your one-man show called the fuck, the flood within.

Yeah. Big Joe Crescent, flooding with laughter. Yeah, dude. Obama won, by the way. Officially? Yeah, yeah. You can hear all the black people outside. Where's the official?

Yeah. Arti's fucking flipping out right now. I was gonna say it's not terrible. He's gonna finger blast. Yeah, well, he's gonna finger blast 10 white girls tonight for that. Here's the deal with those long fingers. I voted for Obama today.

Very easy voting, by the way, but a lot of new. I heard a lot of horror stories about him. Wow. You gotta wait until like mid-A afternoon to vote. You don't go in at fucking, a lot of people are trying to vote before work and the lines are ridiculous. David tells him there's a whole fucking nightmare he went through. I'm over right by David's tell and it's. He went to a gymnasium in a building. Yeah.

It was like and that's where you went to. Yeah. Same place. We really the same. It was like people were all fucking like confused and they're confused a lot of old people vote and a lot they don't know what the fuck to do and they change it every year. Last year was the machine. This year you got to go up, get into a line, have some fucking other moron who's a volunteer. What's your name? Is this the queue line? Is this the A through K and you know, you got to do all this shit and get your thing and then you know, you know, you don't know what the fuck I'm doing. He's got to go. Okay. Jay, you got to go. Yeah. I think. Okay. So. So yeah, no think okay, so so yeah, no, it was it was um Yeah, it was a little fucked up, but once you moon over it was very easy and then you put your thing in it

Scanned your vote and on a computer screen you have voted congratulations I tried to take a picture. I almost go fucking tackled by secret service. No, you can't you can't do that So yeah, I actually voted which I was proud of I get it. How do you vote in Australia? You spit in the sand You like turn us in gel claw counterclose was My part you stick your finger in your ass on to the bleeds and you put your thumbprint I vote for fucking Mickey What is the cracker?

You're fucking Mickey. What is the crocodile thing? Mickey for president. Yeah. I'm not allowed to vote in this country. I pay seven different kinds of taxes. I'm a permanent resident. I can't do it. You should be able to vote.

You should be able to vote in this country. You don't vote. I pay all that. Kelly. I pay as much check as you do. I don't give a fuck. You shouldn't be able to vote. Hang on, hang on, hang on, settle down.

You couldn't vote. Rose didn't vote. You can't vote either because you have that accent, right? Nobody should be able to vote in America who goes, hell no. I don't think you should know how I do. If you say, if you say you and it sounds like you being racist, hey, if you have T.O. for me to be you.

I think you should have to fucking have a college degree to vote. I think you should have that. I think they, no, no, I shouldn't be able to vote. I think they should test to fucking have a college degree to vote. I think you should have to share out I think they know no I shouldn't be able to vote I think they should test people on the fucking knowledge of the candidates before they let you vote That's exactly against the whole Process of the whole theory of Why should anybody be able to vote why should I don't know that's what people wrote in a piece of paper fucking in 1770 I love how stupid you are

Because you say only people only people go to college should be able to vote do you understand most people don't go to college that's not sure if you can't afford to go to college Lewis Lewis bailed an argument you think a farmer a guy who who actually takes dirt and plants of seed and let's shut up Let's it grow knows how to fertilize it and make it become a corn and then takes the corn and puts it into fire And then makes and all this crazy and has fucking cows and makes milk you know those people are stupid why retracted it I said this is a test I will test take a test on oh fucking policies Why should hold on dude what speaking of the mic rose? Test I will test take a test on oh fucking policies. Why?

Hold on dude what speaking of the mic rose away right in the mic letter in the mic. We are fucking just go just go Bob don't fucking just uh, we can't hear that's why the common man has to be able to vote Like a 20 year old who goes off to Iraq and yeah, those people shouldn't be able to vote. I think that anybody Thank you rose no, I think a way better lessy fucking example than my corn and cow one. Anybody who should anybody of votes should be able to understand what I'm frustrated. I have a man. I kind of made it into a rant at the end because I I so people would think

it was a little let me make an actual. I make an actual point real. Last day, everybody that's going to cast a vote should be able to understand what each candidate stands for and the truth is most people don't. I think I actually. I think most people don't. I don't think most people don't. I don't think that's the case. I think people do know the issues.

They know what their issues are and they know which one the candidate stands for. If you're a Democrat, you're a Democrat for life mainly. You're not going to really switch sides. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a type of guy. You, that's a type of person. You're not true. That's true. Dave Smith, switch. I'm not a Democrat.

I'm fucking. What are you? I don't vote at all. I don't do it. You have no, you can't talk about it. Why can't I talk about it? Because you don't vote. My wife says, you don't vote.

So fuck you. No, I choose not to vote because I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Yeah, you do. You just, you just spent 10 minutes telling me that you know what the fuck you're talking about. Why should I listen to you? I don't know. If you that you know what the fuck you're talking about Why should I listen to you? I don't know if you don't know if the fuck you're talking about Oh, you about what oh, what fiscal policies and no I don't so what who are you voting for? I know but I know that Obama is for the middle class okay in lower class I know that he's not down for

That's Democrat that's Democrat Republican black and white. I know that much. I'm voting based off of what I know that he's not down for. Well, that's going down. That's Democratic Republican, black and white. I know that much. I'm voting for yourself for what I know. I know that much. I know that. I know that. What he, the few big things that he stands for. I am for a Democrat as far as a Democrat goes. Okay.

I'm pro choice. That's the. But let me finish. I am pro choice too. I don't believe that. I don't believe that someone should get raped and have the baby because it's a life. That's crazy shit to me. Also, this guy's a fucking, I got a Mormon, which is even crazier to me.

The fact I can't, I look. It's fun. It was made up in 87. Jesus came back in a Corvette or something. I mean, I can't vote for somebody like that, but I'm going to vote. I'm going to say, you know what? For the lesser of two evils or whatever the fuck that is, I'm gonna vote for Obama, because the things,

there's certain things that he stands for that I actually agree with. So that's on voting. Am I the smartest guy? No. Do I know everything about fucking foreign policy? Fucking no. But some people do, and they'll vote for the people,

they're gonna vote for the way they vote. I'm voting for what I, my issues issues are what I believe is important in my life Okay, not your life and everybody else is in every American citizen should be that's what this country is found You should go to fucking Egypt if you want those fucking rules, okay? Because only certain people can fucking vote those Egyptian rules now not at all Certain people can fucking those Egyptian rules. No, not at all. I didn't even know what the fuck you believe.

But what I'm saying is, but they already have the big problem, politics is like when it becomes corporate interest. And if you're letting only college educate, a lot of times, God. You'll get like, we're only getting what the fuck you need. Do you understand people like,

people dumb people like you and me actually put Obama in office, young people, young people. This smart people too, but a lot of people, I voted because of him for the first time in my life. He got me off my ass to fill out the form, wait in a line, and put my fucking name on something. And I did that twice from this man, okay? That's pretty powerful shit.

And he did that to a lot of people. That's why I voted him He did something to me as a candidate. Okay, not because I'm a smart person not because I have a college education Which I do almost In fine arts I know how to watercolor. Okay, but here's a deal. Yeah, that's a fucking dumb statement There's a lot of people who aren't who aren't I'm quote, smart people.

You know, God, I'm not need to take a test to know what you, to look at, I don't need to take a test to know that, you know what, I get that fucking billion people. There's certain things that, it important to me. A woman's right to choose is important to me. I understand that. That's important to me. What kind of test those? Well, Lewis, like, I can't take tests because I can barely read. You're not an American. No, but I'm saying this is nothing to do with you. If you've got heavy dyslexia or whatever, what kind of test you're talking about, everything

I can't write. Well, the same way they would give you a written test if you're somebody who's going to drive. I don't know what the process is there, but if you have to take a written test to get a license, but if you're dyslexic and you can't write, they will give you a different type of test. So I don't know what the answer, but I'm trying to fucking corner me in the corner Kelly you know that was that was a good question what do they do when you get a driver's license you have to take a

driving test none of the family whenever to college a fuck me dude for get college for get college for get college I took college back in the original sentence I said you should have to take a test Yeah, but a driving chance is interactive and that checks your reflexes. No, what are you talking about? Right, there's a written part of the driving test. Look, I think that look at this A person who a person who doesn't even have a spell could know what a person stands for sure certain big Yeah, but you don't know look if you don't need to know what they stand for you know what the fucking Democratic party stands for Exactly will let you you don't know Romney these are two dudes who we don't know they're not they're not what kind of guy pants

It's Hess is gonna know more than Obama is just a figure head I mean the dude. It's about actually Lewis sending what they stand for Lewis Obama or romp they just figure heads They're not that one guy. Yeah. It's a whole bunch of people together that are actually making shit happen. It's not just looking. And look, if I didn't vote, is it gonna change the world? Fuck no.

But I voted because he said something and did something that made me want to vote for this guy. Okay? I might even hate me for voting. I'm just saying I will vote. But you don't need, I don't. The country's literally built on the exact opposite of what you're Do you know what is the reason who would you vote for if you could Obama?

What if I was going to why be for all the wrong reasons because I like him more as a dude Like what the way I see him on TV. I like him more Talking the mic talking the mic so they can actually took back the Council it doesn't mean anything it doesn't mean anything Okay, you know you didn't go to college. No neither do I Who's All right, so the people in this room to make the least amount of money our college educated at least amount of money I'll call it educated. Yeah.

Yeah. That's real. God bless America. I just filmed. You don't think it's, you don't think there's just something to do that. Like if people said like I really want to vote I do care. I, that means something to me, but I'm going to go in through a process of taking a test and, and showing that I'm educated.

No, because here's the deal. If you fail that, if you, if you want all the the cage of people yes, too It's not educated, but it's about no talk over them. Let them fucking talk No, but if you want to educate people then you're just gonna get you know who whoever's in power already So that's not true actually I have plenty my girlfriend is very educated. She's not in power What's that the power to share she wants a video game? Bullying no no no no no no he's absolutely right in the middle nowhere like you know they don't have time to go to vote did you just have

to go and melt the car I just think that it should be more it should be more than like dude it's Bobby's got point there could be a guy who can't read who is a fucking rude but that motherfucker knows how to grow corn at a rapid rate man no side of that guy deserves the guy the guy has a fucking pig farm and raises the best fucking sow on the planet, generation after generation. And that's what they do, sow. You love your poor kid, right?

And this guy, they don't know how to fucking speak correct English. They don't know what the fuck's going on. But he knows how to, he knows how to raise a pig. Doesn't mean he's a fucking moron. He's like a major car. Yeah, but how much is it? And then it was a moron or anybody's whatever, you know, that's a person. Yeah, but Doesn't mean he's a fucking moron. He's like a major cop. Yeah, I'm about to say anyone's a moron or anybody's laughing at you next person.

Yeah, but you throw that guy into a fucking test. He's gonna go, I don't know this. Then I don't think he should fucking be able to vote. Cause he knows it. By the way, what you're, what you're, what you're, kind of like what you're proposing, what you're proposing is actually already kind of what happens. It's like, yes, it's like,

people with big money, corporate fucking Yale people are the ones that fucking make decisions essentially. And that's what they're fighting. They buy each guy. And that's why the, the, the, yeah, that's why Obama won because stupid people like you and me liked him. He said, he spoke to us. He spoke to the younger generation.

He spoke to the middle class and he said, you know i'm gonna give you the tax breaks and i'm gonna for i'm with you guys and these are my beliefs and and that's why we voted for him but i don't i don't i didn't vote for him and i don't i also don't agree with his physical policies i do agree that you need to put money into uh middle class business and people who are actually creating jobs i don't want to be saying they say that you give the money to the higher 5%. They want to give. It's not a it's not as clear. It's not. They believe it. They believe it. Giving it. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It'm not the I'm not Well, when you finger fucking girl, I also do your index finger Talking over fucking people do you like Obama just cuz he's black Or do you think he's also badass

Does jizz taste like a If you think Mitt Romney's not a real ass Press me if you know not a B with it you are real ass. You press me. If you know, not a B. You idiot. You are real ass, dude. I If you have to take off by my. Thank you for sharing your horrific story. I'm glad you say I'm glad your daughter is a lesbian. I'm glad that you you stole gas from your neighbors in a crisis. And I'm glad your family is okay. I stay dry. Isabel was clam bashing and now you can North America. Yeah. And now you can finally justify wearing your outfits. Yeah.

Because you have no clothes. I'm the close. I was addressing a guy wears no clothes. That's for dollars. And now we're stuck here alone with Lewis and his fucking angry politics. You should go to school. I love you, Bobby. Thanks for having me on the podcast.

Thank you. I'm going to do it. Thank you. Make sure you check out Legion of Skanks and make sure you check out J Wherever he's gonna be yes indeed Facebook and Twitter Facebook big what's your Twitter big J. Okay, so don't be Please go check him out one of the funniest guys. We have on the show good friend of ours all the cops There you go. They're gonna burn down the town because the black dude won Okay, Kelly just follow me on Twitter Kelly for stew got and then follow the podcast, like a WD podcast on Facebook and on Twitter, there are the cops.

Woo! Yeah, Phil, what do you got, buddy? Web site. Go for vincere.com and post all the lovely photos that you find. Yeah, we take great photos, man. You guys, you love the photos that we get from the show. Five o'clock.

What? He's the best. Five o'clock, Phil. The photographers. Yeah, he's fucking great. He's great. We have a lot of people that do the great photos. Phil is one of the best uh... he's fucking great he's great we have a lot of people that do for the great photos fill is one of the best man he's great uh... luke what he got uh... visit my new uh... political podcast called uh... called uh... don't be stupid i hope fucking big jay and bobby kelly get

rectal cancer and dot com uh... they come and play it they come and play uh... and make sure you check out the rose cancer. Dot com. They're coming for you. They're coming for you. And make sure you check out Rose and Tony at a fucking, at a fucking, where you going? Guys, thank you. All right, go eat, guys.

Thanks for being on. Make sure you check out hammer fisting dot com. Funniest, honest, best podcast of MMA out there right now. They work hard at it. They love it And they put one out every week no matter what Lewis and his fucking band of asshole real ass dudes at riotcast.com You guys go to riotcast.com slash robber Kelly hit our page by us. You shit through Amazon You're gonna get anything you from Amazon?

Whatever the book cheat You can get through Amazon hang on one second Okay, we took photos so when you see the photo that, that was it right there. You guys are great. Go to my website, robberkilllive.com, brand new website. I just put up all my dates. I have an app award winning app on iTunes. Take it easy, buddy. And you can get that for free. Everything's for free. Podcast for free. Apps for free. Riotcast app is for free. The book's not for free, the books not for free. Buy that for Kindle or yourself, great gift. You guys are awesome, that's it. Hope you enjoy the show. Next week, Big J, Lewis, a back, Kelly's back. We're talking some bullshit next week, really fun show. Spread the word, you guys are the best, dude.

You know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, I'm just staring at you, stinkin' stinkin' You know what I'm dead? I'm just staring at you, I'm just staring at you I'm just staring at you, I'm just staring at you You know what I'm dead? I'm just croxing, croxing, croxing You know what I'm dead? I miss Foxx, I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I miss Foxx I Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, lincones de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan.

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