Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - September 11th Live Replay

Episode Date: September 22, 2011

Replay of Robert's live show with Joe DeRosa from September 11th. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is Jim Norton and unfortunately for you you're listening to the you know what dude podcast You know what I the podcast started by my good friend Robert Kelly who is sitting sort of next to me but possibly right not maybe not you know yeah yo I love the line but here I am my name's Joe Ross opening the podcast up fuck god damn Really? I mean I mean I'm trying to give you shots Joe It's my fuck What was that? Not a business

We're across the country from each other folks. I'm actually not across the country. You have five states away from me South I'm in Atlanta. You're in New York. That's not across the country for me south. I'm in Atlanta, you're in New York. That's not across the country. We're different cities and, doing this over what's called the internet. And it's a little, little new, but it seems to be working.

So I was a little thrown off in the beginning there at the top, you know, I didn't know what to say because I can't see you, Bob, and it throws me off. Well, I can't look at you. Well, you know, look, what we're doing, it's a Sunday night, we're doing this for two reasons. One, this is a live Skype test. Me and Joe are trying to take this fucking podcast always to the next level. Why should you say me, because Joe just likes doing the

podcast. You don't give a fuck if it's live, Skype, fucking mixing board, good mics, my iPhone. As long as he can yap and collect a couple accolades on an email or Twitter, he's happy. Yeah. I myself, I'm very, you know, I'm like a meth head. I like to fucking, I like to advance things and tinker with shit and fuck around. And yeah, you're everything wrong with humanity. Well, I don't know. Push, push, make it better, make it better. Jesus Christ, Joe, I don't know. It's push, push, make it better, make it better.

Jesus Christ, Joe, I don't know if I'm everything wrong with, that's wrong with humanity. Fucking God. I'm saying that right now, this is, I'm just kidding. This is actually going through an iPad, a zoom to a computer with a Yeti mic. So this, this, this, this, this fucking podcast show has gone from my iPhone to, to fucking all this. And it's still fucking portable, which I love.

I could still throw this in a bag and go do this at a fucking Starbucks if I wanted to. I don't need to be in a studio. It's amazing. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. So and you sound fucking crystal clear. But now not only are we fucking doing this on Skype, this is going live right now. So hopefully some people are listening to it. I just tweeted it out. Joe's going to tweet it out now the link to listen to this live. So hopefully if there are some people listening to this If it's coming across loud and clear, please tweet let us know that you you're fucking hearing this

So that's one reason why we're doing this podcast tonight We usually do it during the week which we already have we have the podcast from Monday morning that's coming out Great one actually one of my favorites that me and Joe did. And now we're just doing this test to see if I could go out. So that's one reason. Another reason I felt like we needed to be on the air tonight, Joe, especially live, just because it's, I don't know, September 11th. Oh, Jesus, it is. I didn't even realize that was the day today. Wow. And I'm everything that's wrong with the fucking world. You selfish fucking absorbed douchebag.

Why? You didn't even know it's September 11th? It didn't dawn. I didn't look at the calendar when I woke up but didn't dawn on me. I know it was coming. I knew it was today the other day, but then I forgot that it was today when I woke up, didn't dawn on me I know it was I know it was coming I know it was today the other day but then I forgot that it was today when I woke up you

know the fuck man I'm gonna get back to that but first of all we're live people listening and I guess you sound good and I sound good I think it sounds like we're in the same fucking room even though you're in across the country as you'd fucking put it to state three states down you fucking moron but uh... and you felt patriotically that we need to go live today because of the i don't know if that's a word would i felt paid patriotically

that right that's patriots you felt that we need to go live today as page i don't know if that's right either i mean i'm dumb but i don't think that's right alright you felt like we should do this live today because it was september eleventh how's that does that make sense to you i ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm not even like, I'm not saying this to be a fucking, you know, a hard guy or whatever. I still get fucking really, violently angry. When I think about what these fucking cocksuckers did. You know, I don't know if that's, you know, I'm not even, like, I'm not saying this to be a fucking,

you know, a hard guy or whatever. I still get fucking really, violently angry. Uh, when I think about what these fucking cock suckers did. You know, I don't know if that's, you know, blue collar or a fucking, you know, fucking, I don't know, I just, I see all the shit on TV and I see the planes going into the building and then they show these fucking scumbags, you know, these fucking douchebags, and these are the guys that got on the plane and sat next to me, and I hear the recordings,

and they're just like regular people, just relax, be calm, and you'll be all right, and we listen, and all these people listen, and a few guys just and all these people listened and they just a few guys just, you know, made all these people just fucking listen and they just was so scared about dying that, you know, it's like, and then they crashed them into a fucking building. It's just like, oh, I get so angry, man.

I don't know. I just get fucking angry. It's horrible. It's a horrible thing that happened. Yeah, it's horrible, but it's kind of it's it's it's horrible, but you know, they say it would never happen again. I mean, if I was on a plane and they pulled that horse shit, I mean, what would you do, Joe? Would you get it? I mean, I know what I do. You'd sit there. You would. I would. I wouldn't. There's no way I wouldn't. I would never sit there. If I was on a plane and in fucking

Terrorist took over and we're like, you know, just sit to fuck you. I'll just die. I'll just fucking run right at him You know run right to fuck Adam and jump on him with all my weight. I You know run right to fuck Adam and jump on him with all my weight I look I said like we all think that's what we do who knows what the fuck you do in the real situation Dude you're sitting there going. I want to make it back to see my wife and my family again, you know you and you're you know You got more to lose than you know, so you know you never know what you do dude It's a tough call man. So I just Someone just wrote on Twitter that derose of a god it was 9-11 because he was too busy morning the loss of 19 relatives That's funny That's really funny

really funny. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do. Maybe for two fucking wow. Um, sometimes they get you out there and it's funny. Sometimes they do. Uh, I, I don't know, man. I'm so, so I was supposed to do the show tonight over at Caroline's. The sky's doing a documentary about, I guess, comedy 9-11.

I don't, where were you 9-11 anyways? Where were you? I didn't live in the city yet. I lived, uh, I don't know, where were you 9-11 anyways, where were you? I didn't live in the city yet, I still lived in Philly. Actually, I lived in Austin, Texas when that happened. I was down in Austin and I woke up to go, my alarm went off to go to work. And I just heard on the radio, one of those things, it was like some, you know, morning zoo radio show that I had tuned in for when I woke up in the morning. And you know, I was coming to and like just kind of here in bits and pieces of what they

were saying. Right. And then it was like, you know, I managed to put together the planes flowing to the world traits and I was like, what the, what? And like I ran in the other room and turned on the TV and then there it was. It was like right before the second tower fell Pretty pretty crazy and then I had to go to work and I got stopped. I used to work at this It was a television network down in Austin, but

One of the at huh? Were you on it? I was an editor. I used to edit these concerts and stuff that shoot. So I went in to work and they had the editing suite at this old airport in Austin that they used to use for private plane landing. So like when Bush would go back to Austin, he'd land the private jet would land there

instead of at the regular airport. Right. And because of that, they had all these cops there at my work, like inspecting people and like looking at your cars and shit, like they questioned me a lot. I looked a lot more Arab back then than I do now. Cause I think a beard, had a beard

in like really curly long hair. So yeah. I wouldn't even put it, uh... because i think a beard had a beard and like really curly long hair so uh... i i wouldn't put it to it that's the that's what anger rates may is it just makes me mad that we you know these fucking cock suckers got on the planes briefcases you know shaved sat next to all these people probably said hi to people and then they you know if you listen to those tapes and

Then all these people and then you start and there's so much fucking shit out there I mean I saw these videos today on YouTube And you're watching the planes flying to the building and it's still fucking shocking. It's still shocking Yeah, it's horrible man and And then they show these videos of like close-ups on the, just before the plane at the building, they go in and in on the window of the, of the plane and it's a mannequin,

a woman's mannequin face in the pilot seat of the plane. What video is that? I just saw it today. It was, it was the conspiracy theory, you know know all that shit and how they you know the government flew the plants into the building and there was no people on those planes It's and all that shit And yeah, yeah, no, it's It's creepy to see that video because you know, I'm a fucking dummy. I see something on the internet It's gotta be true You know, oh so far they show see something on the internet it's got to be true

you know so fun. How do they show the face of the person in the cockpit flying the plane? They just did it you know it's they just did close up close up close up look of course it's horse shit you know I mean Nate Barganski was that his name Nate yeah yeah and I just did a call. For GFC. For GFC. Yeah. Great kid, funny kid. We just did a college together and he was telling me how excited he was about the new iPhone coming out. And I'm like, why is that? Is it Kevin, you've seen it?

You know me, dude, I fucking drool over that shit. I know what the fuck's going on. If anybody's seen the new iPhone 5, I've seen it, you know. I check every day, you know, I check every day five times a day. And he goes, yeah, dude, it's the video on YouTube. It has the keyboard, the laser keyboard, and the hologram. And somebody put a thing out there video over the, it's a fake of what the new iPhone in, it has a laser keyboard that shoots out onto the fucking table. And then instead of video,

it's a hologram like the Princess Leia coming out of the fucking table. And then instead of video, it's a hologram, like the Princess Leia coming out of the fucking R2D2, on the top, and he thought it was real. Hey, you dummy. What a dummy he is. He thought that was the next fucking iPhone. And I was like, oh, Jesus Christ, man. What a fucking moron. But no, but I get like, oh Jesus Christ man. What a fucking moron.

But no, but I get it dude. I mean, fucking people can do, it's not like, you know, 20 years ago where you needed fucking CAA and the government, you know, Photoshop is available to the average shit dick and fucking New Hampshire and Vermont. Do you know what I mean? I mean, you know, a fucking fat lady would cover and Vermont hippieville could fucking edit

a little short film on her iPhone now. Never mind, you know. For the fuck, yeah. Never mind a genius 12 year old from fucking, you know, from the middle of the country somewhere, or fucking, you know, from the middle of the country somewhere, a fucking, you know, from, from silicone valley, some Asian half breed, fucking genius that Steve Jobs made, fucking some fucking Japanese robot. All right, thank you too much.

Too much, too much. Don't worry, don't worry about the Christ Shakespeare. I don't know, I'll split you today. I don't know, man. It's, it's a, first of all, okay, today's been a fucked up day just because, you know, I'm just into depression. I'm really into depression big time. Still, it hit me again yesterday and today.

What's a man, I mean, smoking stuff? I think just life, life man being fat again. I mean I don't know how we're going from September 11th to me being depressed about being fat. Because you're selfish and you turn it about yourself. You didn't even know was September 11th. You forgot Joe, the theme, the bumper sticker the one thing they tell you not to do about September 11th never forget You did it you fucking dirty Arab. I didn't think I didn't forget about September 11th I just didn't realize today was September 11th I've been to the goddamn studio all day. Oh stop fucking drop and we get it. I'm in a studio. Oh God

Let's not account for fucking your friends basement as a studio, okay? I've been tracking guitars all day, bro. I'm not tracking guitars You all right look I feel bad that I didn't realize it was today. I they really do I really do but But I still didn't realize it was today. I really do, I really do, but I still didn't talk about myself like you did. What's worse, Bob, not remembering or talking about yourself on the day of? Which one of those things is worse?

Got an answer? Yeah, I got an answer, Joe. What are you doing? I had to go fucking get a sip of coffee. Because I heard a lot of, you know what? Now that I'm on headphones on the other end of the country. Yeah. I understand the complaints now about the breathing of the coffee.

It really is loud in the mic and shit. Yeah, well, I don't really do it as much as you. Do what? Breathing in the fucking smoking and the exhaling. I'm not smoking or breathing, baby. I'm just living with the fucking. I'm just here. I'm just living.

I'm just here living, baby. Well, I don't know, man. I mean, September 11th, you know, it's... I don't know. Does it fuck you up, dude? Do you get fucked up? Yeah. Are you patriotic at all? I know you don't believe in God or religion But you patriotic do you believe in America are you? Do you know what I mean?

Even though it's not your country. I know but Yeah, no, I look I love this country. I think it's the best place to live. Apparently, you've never been to a rubah. Yeah, I was going to say as far as I know, you know, this is where I'd want to live more than anywhere else. You know, look, look, it was, of course, I have a tremendous respect for the memories of this day and what this day means and what it is. I wouldn't say that I got sad at the time, but I don't anymore. No, I don't necessarily get sad about it.

It's just something that happened. You know, I'm looking at the way you look at like Pearl harbors, or something like that, you know? But, you know, still getting emotional about it is tough, but I mean, you know, fairness, it's like, I don't have anybody, I didn't lose anybody in it, so that's one thing, and the other thing is too, I don't watch the footage. I don't go back and watch the footage and all that stuff. I don't like rewatching shit like that,

so that's probably why, you know, that, like, I don't, that may come across as maybe less patriotic or something like that, but I mean, because I don't seem like sad and stuff. But part of the reason I don't re-get sad or return to that emotion is because I don't like watching those videos. Re-get sadder.

Yeah, I'm not gonna explain. I know you're trying to,. Regate Satter. Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to explain. I know you're trying to, you might try to dumb it down for me, but you don't have to dumb it down that much, Joe. Regate Satter. Yeah, well, it's, I wasn't dumb enough to out. That was legitimate. That was the way that I say it. I tell you know what, really, I've been watching this new series.

I think it's on, fuck, I forget what channel it's on. It's the, they did a documentary type reality show, a series, documentary type series on one of the shows called Rebuilding, you know, Rebuilding the Towers, I think it's called, or something like that. And it starts, I don't know how many episodes it is, maybe seven or ten, and it starts with, you know, kind of the rubble, and what they were going to do, and how they were going to do it, and then they start, you know, when they get the plans, and then the museum, and the fountains, and the footprints, and then the buildings, and know, when they get the plans and then the museum and the fountains and the footprints and then the buildings and they go through the construction and they go through the iron workers and the cement people and the

people building the stairs and then they intertwine it with, you know, the museum and people who have passed away and there's a tree down there that they called it the survival tree that they found on the rubble, this little tree that was half pretty much dead, and it actually came back to life, and they'd been growing it out in Brooklyn, I think, for the last 10 years, or nine years, and they finally made its way back to the site, and they replanted it, and it's growing again,

but half of it is kind of burnt and fucked up, and the other half is flourishing. And that's replanted down there. It's a nice big tree now. You look at the park that's going to be there, and the memorial, and the fountains, and the fucking museum, and the new building is going to be the tallest building in America, the safest in the tallest building. So it's like, I know that all that bad shit happened and it sucked, but it also changed a lot of things, made safety and made us more aware of the world we fucking live in now.

So people are, that will never happen on a plane again. I don't fucking think, I don't care who you are. Joe, for me, you're on a plane and these fucking people took it over and we're gonna blow this fucking thing up, if you don't listen, I'm not listening. I'm gonna fucking attack them and die. Let blow it up, because you're gonna kill us anyways. And you know, I talked to pilots and they were like,

it will never happen again because we don't open the door. You know, they're protocol, I don't know if you know this. On, before September 11th, if there was a hijacker, you negotiate. Want the cold pilot or somebody goes out and negotiate with them and lets them in. Because there might be a chance of them landing the plane in some other country or whatever.

Because they never, excuse me, flew into buildings before, right? But now it's like, fuck you. That thing is dead-bolted, it's bulletproof, ballistics, fucking, you can't get in there. So because the pilots could drop the aircraft, if the pilots didn't leave the open the door if they didn't get into where the pilots were and kill them and take over the plane The pilots could have fucking dropped all the cabin pressure out of the plane and everybody would have went to sleep except the pilots Right they could have dropped they could have twirled that plane over so fast, right that Anybody standing would have been dead

Right so so they'll never be able to do that again and you don't forget that most airline pilots are guys from military ex-military guys I didn't know that are they yeah they're from the Air Force and the Marines they they where do they go you know you get a guy who flies jets, flies, you know, flies planes in the military and then you're fucking careers up. Where do you go?

You go to the airlines, Bob. You go to the fucking airlines job. That's why you're the co-host. But I don't think that would happen again. And look, if me and you want to plane, I'd fucking grab you and push you all the way down the aisle as we would just shoot and bullets into your body and then throw you right on them.

They probably wouldn't even shoot. Oh God, you wouldn't do shit. I would. You'd be fucking passed out from half a bag of Toblerones. Just sleep in there. Like a little little and I never my iPod in I'd be sleeping right next to you We just wake up seconds before crashing into something I would you know what the fucking funny part is is I'd if I really did do that as you were coming up They probably you probably just start speaking Arabic

It would all all your facade you're just a cell Just I can be well. Yeah, I don't feel like I'm putting a list because a joke you're making on the fucking podcast Can you another list you mean? Can you just yeah, you stop you're already on the fucking hacky comedian list? I mean, can you just yet stop? You're already on the fucking Hockey comedian list. Fuck you. I'm sorry. That was Hockey to even say that.

It was just a fucking Hockey joke. Shit joke. That was a shit joke. A shit joke and you're shit. Wow. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. So let's talk movies.

Let's lighten up the spirits a little bit here. Well, I mean, I don't know if I want to Joe Well, what do you want? I mean it's September 11th. I don't know I mean Put me in a position now because now it looks like I'm being an asshole if I want to talk about something else Are you laughing? Yeah, I'm laughing at you. Fucking panicking, horse shit. I just don't know.

I mean, look, I want to talk about some movies. I have some movies I'd love to talk about. But I'm just saying, you know, I mean, I'm just trying. It seems like you're very disconnected from September 11th. I don't know. I was, I was here. I was shooting my first day on the job, the show, the job. You were on one episode of that show.

Stop talking about it like you were a regular. Joe, you don't, you know, see, now you don't get it, Joe. That was the first, that was my first get it Joe. That was the first that was my first Gig that I that was the first real thing I booked They say it like that don't go I was it was my first day on shooting the job like they hired you to be the new guy They listen you know you know you know you don't understand your fucking cock sucker. That that that was huge. I got a I got a guest starring role next to Dennis Leary. All my scenes were with Dennis Leary. I've seen it. I've seen it. It was fucking holy shit to me. I

that was I got a double banger, bro. Okay. You know what a double banger is? Yeah, I know what a double banger is. What is it, Joe? It's a fucking trailer. You've never had one. It's a bigger, I did, I did, because I started, I started in an ad campaign for sports net, and I got a nice big trailer.

What trailer? Double banger, triple banger. You know, Bob, I don't want a brag. I think it might have been a triple. I don't want a brag. A triple banger is less than a double banger you might want. I don't want a bragg I think it might have been a triple. I don't want a bragg. A triple banger is less than a double banger you moan. Well it was pretty fucking big. There's a trailer, there's a double banger,

and then there's a triple banger, and then there's the honey fucking wagon. Okay, the honey wagon is better than fucking sitting in a shit you know area where they keep all the extras and then the double-banger the triple bangers better than the honey wagon the double-bangers a bit a trailer that's cut in two instead of three well so it's bigger and then there's the trailer which the movie stars get which is the whole fucking thing I had a trailer you didn't have the whole fucking trailer aside from the

lady that had to do makeup, I had the whole trailer. You had the make, you had what? I had the trailer by the fucker. I guarantee it's a technicality. Guarantee you didn't have the fucking trailer. I was in it, I was in the trailer. Yeah, with the makeup lady. And the extras came in and they said, guys,

you're not allowed in, your only principal was allowed in here And I was the only Principal so that was by luck fuck. Yeah by luck. You were in a holding trailer Was there a TV? There was a TV was there a lot was there a a coach? Yep, was there a fucking recliner? Yep, was there a bathroom? Yep, and who else was in there with you Me and the makeup lady. Yeah, that's called the makeup trailer you fucking idiot

It wasn't the makeup trailer. It was the trailer. I would get you know what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter Joe. Fuck you, okay? Because I This was my big day Yeah, that's the point that that's the point. That's what I said. Say it like that. Say, say, say, when I did something that meant a lot to me, it was when I booked it up a so the job and I was on one. I'm not going to say it like that.

But you say, I'm going to say, I don't give a fuck. Like people listening are going to go, oh, he was on the job. I have to go back and buy season one. Yeah, well, see him. Well, yeah, well, dude, that's the only season they could buy because it got canceled after that season, okay? So, fuck you, Joe. So, it's actually worth more money now

because I was only the only season. But that's not the point. The point is, it was my first day, I was, you know, look, I was fucking like, oh my God, you know, I was, you know, look, I was fucking like, oh my God. You know, I went out to the Jersey Shore. I got in my trailer and I'm sitting there and I'm like, oh, this is incredible. I'm gonna be shooting a scene with fucking Dennis.

I was nervous. It was fucking nuts, man. It was nuts. And I remember, and then all of a sudden, the fucking fucking I just remember girl running by my trailer crying and I was like what the I was listening to how it's doing on the radio in my trailer and Because the trailers have radios and TVs and And yes, and the makeup lady did too apparently. I was alone in my trailer. I had a vitro in my

What a vitro what's that? Don't you wish you know if you're ever in a trailer you know what it was Joe the fact that you're trying your ego and your fucking cutness and Your aromeness is trying to take away from my fucking sympathetic Meaningful September 11th story Makes me sick really and if anybody if doesn't American at Atlanta right now You please find Joe and fucking beat the shit out of him for shitting on America Because that's what you're doing. You're shit on America right now. Yeah, it's not that. It's not that I don't like how you took the story and made it sound like

you were the star of the job. I can't. I'm gonna let you go. I was a guest star. I was a guest star. Exactly. That those are two bait, might be different words, Bob.

Guest star. Guest star. They should have called it a guest spot. You're on for such a little amount of time I was on the whole episode you fucking idiot I fucking you just I know what you're doing oh man I know what you're doing you treat me like you treat me like you treat your other friends that's not gonna work. I get it now. Listen the point is stupid board fuck face That that was that was just fucked up to me that was that day

Really trash me and the night and I know everybody says this too Everybody has a connection story like everybody dude I was supposed to be in the fucking towers that morning or i was there or i was supposed i know everybody has that i i was there the night before the towers went down because i was staying in jersy city and i had to take the path train home and the easiest way to do that is to go to the world trade center to get the path train

right way to do that is to go to the World Trade Center to get the Path Train, right? Take the cab down to the World Trade Center and I was just to get out right there and I remember looking up at the bottom of the world and just going holy shit. I always just to look up and go this is why I fucking love New York City because of this shit. And then I went down, got in the path train, and then that was the last time I, that's it, the next day that was just gone. Yeah, it's, I mean, I never lived here when they were here, so when I moved here,

it was in the, I moved here right after it happened and it was, you know, the adapting phase, you know what I mean? Yeah, I think that has a big thing to do with it. You know, I think, because I used to remember being it coming down, you know, going down to the seller, you'd see the fucking, the World Trade Center, just like mountains coming up out of the skyline, and you know, there was so far down,

and it would just come up, and then you come out of the tunnel, coming home from the airport, and there those fucking towers would be and it would just make you feel unbelievable. You know, like I live here, holy shit. That's just insane. So I think that having seen them before

and lived in New York, while they were here, there was such a fucking, that's what made you the wow factor. I always say that, New York still wowes me me and that was one of the things that would always Wow me like hold it like I've lived there so many places and you get like L.A. or blah blah blah and you go these Oh wow, this is again that goes away, but New York. It's never gone away from me I'm still still blown away by the city. I Feel exactly the same way about new york uh... you know i uh...

i mean i i i walk around it and i go this is why as you were saying this is why i live here i love this fucking place so many comics keep moving out to l.a. and i understand why you would move to l.a. but i'll i will be the first to say it i have probably in certain ways and at least in certain ways, stunted my career by not relocating to Los Angeles and being like in that Hollywood mix or whatever. And I will probably continue to stunt it unless, you know, unless I ever move out there

one day. But the other side of that, I'm like, I don't care. Like, I'd rather live in New York and have the New York career and see where that takes me rather than living in a city that, you know, nothing against LA. I have a good time when I'm out there, but it's like, it's just like, even the potential, this is what I'm getting at, even the potential, potential idea or opportunity that like, oh, if you moved out to LA this and this might happen

even that with a career thing won't pull me out of New York right now it's like I love that fucking town I miss it dude I've been gone for a week and a half now be gone for another at least another I think I'm gonna be gone for another two fucking weeks man it, you know, I miss it terribly. But when I'm there, I'm like, this is where I live. This is fucking New York, dude. You know, so. Yeah, I'm just I'm excited though that that we're going to have this new building, this new tallest building in the in the America is going to be in New York again. And when when are they going gonna build it? I mean, it's built, you can see it now.

That's the, as you're going down the West Side Highway, you can see it coming up again, which is great. You know, like I told you, as you're going down to the comedy cell, you used to be able to see the towers. Now you can finally see the new tower going up. It's like half built, but it's so you can see it and it's all lit up. Especially at night you can see it. All the construction is all over it. So there's lights everywhere. So it's 2013, it's going to be done. The museum is going to be done after 2012

after 2012 and the park is done now. So in a year and a half, those buildings are all gonna be up. Why did it take so long to get all that stuff up there? Because they had to do it right. They couldn't do it. They had to do it. There was so many, there's almost 3,000 people died down there. So they couldn't, they couldn't, they couldn't just build any building.

They couldn't just build any memorial. They, it had to go through a lot of fucking committees and a lot of bullshit. It had to be right. You know, it had to be perfect. And they, look, when I saw today, I watched, I watched, they have the reading of the names every year now, which, you know, maybe they can do every five years instead of every year. I'm kidding

It's a long fucking Right I went and watched the rundown with the rock and went back and they were still going Tom Johnson and McGillicutty it's like all right Kidding him and McGillicutty, it's like, all right, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Jesus Christ. No, I'm kidding. But they have the reading, but they had the park is open now, which is beautiful, the fucking footprints,

and all around the footprints is all the names, all the people that died on September 11th, all the... So it's the footprints of the two towers are these beautiful fountains now, that you can only hear when you walk up to the fountain. You should YouTube it. It's fucking amazing. And the memorial is, the museum is going to be unbelievable, because they actually have, museum is going to be unbelievable because they actually have, you know, a fire truck. They have like all the, all the, you know, a fire truck, a cop car, all the fucking photos and IDs and all this crazy shit from the rubble. They have two of the tritons from the building inside of the museum and then the actual building itself is, is, is

fucking amazing. There's a lot of stuff that goes to it. It's supposed to, it's the way they built the, the, the, the new tower, the way they designed it, if you look at it one way, in a certain way, it will look like the twin towers, like two towers together. The way the two towers used to look, because if you used to look downtown and see the towers together, if you look at this new building,

it's supposed to resemble that. And then if you look at another way, it's supposed to resemble the Washington Monument, which is, you know, America. So there's a lot of little details that you can actually, by the, I learned it from watching the show that the architects put into the, all of the fucking, the whole, the buildings, the memorial, all that shit, the museum. There's a lot of, a lot of details that go into that, a lot of little weird go into that. A lot of

little weird things, interesting facts and interesting architectural fucking devices that they put in, like the museum when you walk up to it, it's reflecting glass, so you can actually see yourself, so you can remember, I don't know, so all this crazy shit. Well, I look forward to all that stuff being built, man. I think it's gonna be really cool. And touching, you know, and deering, and inspiring, you know. Yeah, I can't wait to be able to go down there again and I can't wait for the, I can't wait just to come out

of the tunnel. Lincoln tunnel coming home and seeing that big building that just, and there's not just one of them. There's gonna be a couple of them, one big one, is going to be a couple of them one big one but uh... there'll be a couple of the big buildings is going to be great to have that skyline backman yeah yeah it is man it is

yeah i wonder how i would feel about this if i had lived here before it happened but you know either way it still affects me and uh... i'm looking forward to to see all this stuff finished and it'll be cathartic for a lot of people to finally put it behind them, you know, and go You know, all right. We've you know We've we've come to grips with this fully and I don't know. It'll probably help a lot of people emotionally move on, you know Yeah, not forget, but you know just kind of stuff for you Why why not me you forgot

Jesus Jesus Bob you're just a shit dude I'm just I can't believe you forgot I was September 11th I didn't forget I knew yesterday that I woke up today and I got I'd start doing work right away and I just didn't realize it I feel bad right now. You should. Why? Well, I mean, I know why? I know why. I just, yeah, okay. I don't know. I just sent the fucking email that you sound like you're in a fucking shoebox. I don't know if I'm, I do. Yeah, I don't know.box. I don't know. If I'm people... I do. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe, I don't know.

Maybe it's your fucking computer. Um, if, uh, if Joe sounds like shit, fucking, um, let us know. If it sounds good, let us fucking know. God damn it. But if Joe is fine, I'll try to fucking fuck with it. um... yeah I know it sounds good on my end. okay

and now I got a tweet that I shouldn't take any shit from you. now I got that tweet too but I don't think he was serious and that might if it is he's not an American he's an Arab. he's crushed. yeah I forgot this is uh... you're allowed to say racist things day. On this day, to Arabs, yes. The fuck is wrong with you, man? What do you mean, what's wrong with me?

What's wrong with you? What are you talking about? You can't, you don't make a statement like that on the podcast. Why not? Did you know racist it is, what you just said? What I say? You just clumped all Arabs together as being bad. I didn't do that. She did.

No, I didn't do that. Exactly what you do. Well, you don't have to believe me. This is what you mean. I didn't say brawl Arabs. You said you can be racist today. You said to Arabs, Yeah, yeah, I was I was being joking too. Where you being joking? Hey dude, fuck you. You said some horse shit earlier

What did I say? I don't know fucking feel bad good or day or some shit? I don't know what you said I feel better more Re-bad Re-bad fuck off. Give me a loan. Oh, dude, you know what it is this podcast is? I think it's just, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe we're just both cons and sad

because it's, I don't know. You said you're depressed today, right? What about the fat thing? Okay, yeah, well, yeah. Yeah. Now, I just, you know, what it is is that it's coming up on three weeks non-smoking, which is, you know, all great.

Awesome. Really, it is awesome. But it's, you know, it's a fucking, it's a motherfucker, bro. It's, you know. Yeah. I didn't fit into it. I didn't fit into a McDonald's fucking bench Thursday night coming home for that gig Geez dude. Yeah, I couldn't fit into the fucking seat Joe

You know that's rough that's rough man That's fucking rough, but you got to do you got to cut back you just got to do it. I know I know that's that's rough man. That's fucking rough. What you gotta do, you gotta cut back, you just gotta do it. I know, I know, that's the problem. I know, dude, I'm on my way, bro. I know what the fuck to do. I've done this a million times, not a million, but I've done it a bunch. I know what to do.

And you know, Monday, I already got it, I already planned out, ready to go. I know what the fuck to do. It's just it sucks that I have to do this You know and I think I think if most people listening to this and you I know you know what I'm talking about It's that there are people out there. I have to believe this that don't have to do this That don't have to watch their drinking that don't have to watch their food and don't have to Watch, you know, they just they just do they just they don't have that personality You know, they've been kind of the same way their whole lives. They know when to stop when they're full

They eat pretty much healthy. You know, I mean, you can't watch any, it's like every movie is just good looking people. Every TV show is good looking people walking down the street. It's just a, you know, it's like, well, you look at these people and you're like, Oh, shit. Fuck. Why what the fuck did I do? You know, I hate having to fucking do this again. I already did it. I did it two years ago. And when I launched all the weight, and I got, I mean, I was there, and I never again, not to steal the fucking September 11th theme, but I never again, and it happened again.

It happened again. And I remember when it happened. I remember it was Cleveland and then Dallas and then I kind of had it kind of under control and then it was, you know, then I quit smoking, not last January, the January before and then that put on weight and then then that whole year, I just added added and kind of hovered at a certain way. And then the last couple weeks, dude, have been fucking ridiculous, bro. Like bad. Yeah, dude. It gets harder and harder, because once that once that excitement acquitting goes away, then it, now you're in the shit, you know? Yeah.

Now it's not the fun. Hey, I quit. I'm doing something good for myself. Now it's like, all right, motherfucker, you quit. Now let's see if you can stay quit, you know? Mm-hmm. It's tough, dude. It's tough.

I feel for you, man. It's a shit fucking, it's a shit position to be in, and it sucks, but you know, you're doing what you gotta do, bro. And you did it with the smoking. Now you gotta do it with the fucking with the food. It just sucks, man. You know, it's just, it's like, if you look at life, it's like, fuck, it's just a constant battle.

It's these little mini fucking battles Yeah, but there's some people that I feel that don't have to fucking do this. I don't know what I get jealous Well, I mean look there. I mean have you ever looked at somebody else's shoulders and been like fucking why God? fucking why God God, but I'm but I'm but I'm You know you're not even a fucking come on that was that bad. That's a fucking beautiful setup Fuck yeah, no, I you know, I always said I Ved my bow I've had my you know times when I've quit drinking and stuff. And I've always said that, like, you know, anybody that quits something and hates it, it bothers

me that they hate that thing. It's like, there's, I mean, I understand that you want to hate something so it lets you stay away from it. But I always thought, like, you know, if I got to quit something, like, or if I got to take a break from it or whatever, it's like the reason I got to take a break is because I treated it bad. It didn't treat me bad. You know, it's like a check and I treated her bad for too long

and then it got all fucked up and now I got to move away from it. You know, it's weird too, weird too those that when you quit smoking and I don't know you know I've been video blogging this this process for the last three weeks and it helped you know and I don't know if I'm gonna do anything with it I might just delete all the videos when I'm done I'll just keep them I don't know if I'm gonna do anything anything with them, but it's helped a lot. But another thing that I learned is that when you quit smoking, your body produces more acid in your stomach, which blotes you, it just sends your stomach, it pushes it out.

Okay, like a balloon. And which makes you, and you retain more water. And that's for like two weeks to a month that will happen So you're actually gain weight immediately when you quit smoking without even Stuffing your fat face. You're gonna feel fatter for two to two to four weeks Right, and that's been happening too to two to four weeks. Right. And that's been happening too. So it's like my stomach is always distended.

It's always pushed out because of the gas. I had to go to the pharmacy yesterday and he told me that I could take Xantac twice a day and it would kind of releviate some of the acid in the stomach to help releviate some of that. But that's just the process of quitting smoking. Can I tell you something, too? Yeah.

That the pharmacist didn't tell you, but he should have. Oh, God. Go ahead. I'm serious. It's alleviate. There's no such word as alleviate. Relive it. Oh, fucking.

You know what? You said, you said, be eight you know what dude All right, I said for leave you who gives a fuck All right, Joe Fuck you that was for the shoulders comment So we're even now Hock sucker. Oops Skype goes out Yeah, I do too. I just look. I know what you mean, dude. I look.

You look, we're we're we're we're I'm gonna funk too. All right. You're in a funk. I'm in a funk. But but you know why we're in funk stew because we're not doing we're supposed to be doing for ourselves. That's why. Yeah, but I know, but I've been doing this for fucking 30 years, Joe. Well, at least 28 years. Yeah, dude, it sucks. And then I go on fucking Netflix, and I fucking, I look at all the people with hour specials, and I wanna fucking kill myself, Joe. Well, you could do that if you wanted to.

No, apparently I fucking can't. Absolutely, you can't. No now you can go out and do it yourself and then and then fucking sell it to somebody that's whatever Okay, I know I know I'm I'm a little I'm but I don't know just you know I'm just fucking bitching just fucking bitching dude it sucks dude I know I hear you I hear you it's just you know it's just a fucking it's just uh you know I'm sick of it it's just a mother-fucker man it's just you know it's I don't know I don't fucking know man I don't get it there are people out there that don't deal with this shit.

Dude, I hear you, dude. There are people out there that don't deal with this bullshit. That seem like they just kind of, you know, coast through it and don't have to worry about booze and don't have to worry about this and don't have to worry about it. You know, on all that bullshit you're talking about. They absolutely exist. But, you, but at the same time, you gotta remember, dude, a lot of people aren't honest

and a lot of people don't wear their heart on your sleep, on their sleep. You wear your fucking heart on your sleep, dude. What the fuck does that mean? I mean, you're open and you let your emotions fly. It's not in, I'm not insulting you, I'm sorry. I know, I'm just, it's just funny that this podcast is taking off.

It's become a pep talk. You just use the old hot on your sleeve, fucking pep talk. Do you have time? Bob, you get your hot on your sleeve, kid. You're a blue collar guy where you nose to the grindstone. Shut the fuck up. All right, well then I won't finish it, you dickhead. I'm sorry Joe. I'm sorry, that's just...

I'm sad too, dude. I've been sleeping on fucking couches and in hotels for the last week and a half. And I'm gonna be gone for another two weeks, dude. I'm depressed as shit right now. I'm happy to be doing shows and I'm happy people are coming out and all that stuff, but you know,

it's fucking depressing, dude. It's like, you know, that's my point. I have the shows been packed? They've been, yeah, they've been well attended. I'm not doing huge venues. So, yeah, I've been, I've been having good turnouts, you know? But, you know, it's tough, dude, you know, I'm not home. And, you know, the longer you're out here, the more you're going. I'm not gonna have a normal life

I can't have a normal life Right as I got to do this like you know, I'm I haven't been drinking that much to be honest with you. I had a couple nights where I went out But it means been mostly food You know, you're I mean shit and I'm just using the excuse just like you did with smoke and I quit smoking I can do what I want doing the same thing. I'm on the road. I can eat whatever I want And you know going to KFC after I already went to McDonald's for lunch going to KFC for dinner and Instead of getting the grilled chicken and trying to reasonably healthy. I'm fucking

Give me the original recipe for peace and reasonably healthy. I'm fucking, you know, the original recipe for peace and fucking terrible, dude. It's terrible, man. It's not that other people can do these things without penalty. It's that they don't either a they're not truthful people or b if they are truthful and they don't have problems, they don't they're not dealing with the same emotional shit we're dealing with. This is all a result of emotion, dude. Heavy smoking, eating whatever the fuck you want, going out and boozing it up.

The end of the day. I think the majority of the people that are fucking, I'm even listening to write this fucking second, the majority of people, especially fans of our comedy, are fucking, the same, I mean, fucking, you know, unhappy, fucking, wandering, fucking cocksuckers, just like us. I mean, you know, you try to find happiness, happiness where you can, and when you can,

you squeeze the fucking life out of us until it dies. Right. I know we're not the, I think with a majority, not the minority. I think the minority is the fucking, you know, the fucking cock suckers with abs and you know, a 32 waistline is whole fucking life. Hey, I eat whatever I want. I fucking hate people who say that. I got a fast metabolism. I eat whatever I want. Really? Fuck you. I hope you fucking go bald. You know, nothing makes me happier than seeing a fucking good looking guy. Just deteriorate. Yeah, it's great. Just a fucking deteriorate. You know, it's yeah, it's great.

It's great, but that's my point. We shouldn't feel like that, but we do. Yeah. That's part of the problem is because we're miserable. So instead of looking at, looking in and going, here's what's wrong and whatever, we're looking out and going, let me take that and eat that, let me drink this. You know, let me shit on that guy over there. He's pissing me off.

I mean, yeah, but that's, I think, without that, where the fuck are we? You know, especially as comics, without that edge, I was actually talking to that writer lady last night, you know, the one that's writing the book about comedy. Do you know what I'm talking about? Who? El nombre es Adrian. Es una obra de cómic, una cómode de psychología. Es que ha sido en la descripción de 6 años o algo. Así que he hablado de la última noche.

Adrian Epleucci? Me parece, yo. ¡Gracias, girl! Pero el blanco, creo que es called. ¿Qué es tu gran mano? Entre en iFema.sí compro tu entrada y Fema Madrid siente la inspiración ¿Qué es tu gran momento? ¿Qué es tu gran momento? Es tu nombre No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I hate we're using the word relevant. I fucking hate that word. And you know, you know why? Because those cock suckers on the fucking Twitter, that's the word they use relevant. He's a relevant comedian. Right. Shall really we're relevant. Fuck off. Relevant, oh fuck off. What is that body? I don't know, I just, I don't like people who use the word relevant too much.

You know, like I remember one guy used the word relevant on a tweet to me and then I went back and I checked it, because I'll check your other tweets. I'll go back and find out what type of boring lose you really are And he use relevant like every other tweet to comics You know, so you know it's some fucking douchebag You know, I think what you're saying is really relevant is it

Who that's yeah, that's a word you use what's right? I don't understand who the fuck is relevant show Yeah, that's a word you use. What's, I don't understand. Oh, who the fuck is relevant, Joe? What do you mean who's relevant? I just, I get that, I get, I get, I understand what you're saying. I just don't like people who use the word too much. And what I'm saying, you know.

Who uses it too much? I just told you fucking uses it too much. Why are you getting mad at me now? Because you're questioning me. I'm, yeah, because you don uses it too much. Why you get mad at me now? Because you're questioning me. I'm here because you're not making sense. I just fucking told you. Does fucking idiot use the word relevant in every other fucking Tweety ad?

That's not what you said the first time. You just talked about his one tweet where he said you were relevant. And then I said I went back and listened to his, looked at his other tweets. Yeah. And he used relevant and every other fucking tweet to other comedians. I missed that part. Well, that's the fucking key part then. Well, don't get mad about it. All right, I'm sorry. I'm not the cigarettes Bob. I'm sorry. Ah, the food. Oh, the fact I just keep going down the list, Joe. You know Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha cafeteria style thing like you get a train just go down a line and you go I'll take that I'll take that you know hang on one second I just looked at my Twitter real quick cringe humor Robert Kelly Joderos was more relevant on Louis this season

Ha ha hey watch this cringe humor ha ha fucking blocked by Ha ha and you're listening live I need your fucking witty, twitch shit. Go fuck yourself. The only way I'll ever let you back in is if you fucking email me in bag-fick forgiveness. Fuck you. Fucking loser. Go ahead, Joe, sorry. You're gonna let him back in after he begs?

Really? Yeah. You got no fucking character. Well, if it's Patrick. I like Patrick. Go ahead What else would it have been? Just go Cuz you shot your math off you got all angry and then you realized you're ever reacted and go God you just backpedaled. Oh, you make me sick

You're just completely backpedal. What are you talking about? You're just completely backpedal. What are you talking about? Because you were making a stand. You're going out of that piss me off. And then you block them. And then you go, well, I'll take them back. First you go, I don't need you guys. And you're both shit it off.

Fuck off. I didn't say that. And then you go, well, I'll take you back if you email me. And then you went, well, maybe it was Patrick. I like Patrick. You fucking backpedaling. You need Jerker, you just need Jerker. Yep.

Now what, yep, you're right, now what? I don't know, I thought we'd all laugh about that. Now, who's we all? First of all, just me. Now, I'm gonna unblock him right now, just cause you fucking made me sick. And now you're unblocking him. You fucking kidding. I'm kidding, I'm gonna unblock him right now just cuz you fucking made me sick and now you're unblocking him You fucking kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding Boy, all right listen

Yes, we are bugs me too is that he fucking wrote to you specifically without me Rob it is upset that you are what fuck you You should if you were a fucking man you'd block them too, Joe. Yeah, it's something nice about me. Exactly. That's you in a fucking nutshell, Joe. Right there. You just fucking accuse me of having no spine. You wouldn't even stick up for your friend. Who? Who's my friend? Me! Oh. I didn't look at it that way. But I didn't look at it that way.

I don't ever consider it like we're friends, you know what I mean? I'm just kinda... He just tweeted me too. Blocked huh? Fuck you, Patrick. I wish we had a three-way, we'd get fat tooth on the phone. That's funny, that's funny.

I was gonna tell you something, you got me all fucking sidetracked here with the goddamn tweet thing. Sorry, sorry, sorry. What was I telling you when you started yelling about the tweet? Nothing. I don't know, man, I forget. All hurry, Bob. Who's a sad one today? You know what? It's a weird fucking, I don't know if it's Sunday, dude, or what?

I'm just fucking depressed, angry, fucking pissed off. I'm just everything. Every fucking thing, you know, and I can't, I seem to pull out of it and then I pull, I just fall right back into it. It's like a fucking hole. It's, uh, yeah, I got that, that, it's 9-11. What? Ah, fucking Patrick is, his cut is actually texting me now because he has my fucking cell number.

What are you writing? And I blocked him on Twitter and I don't know how to block the fucking idiot. You're going, you're hit on block. I guess not on the app I have. I have to do it, but he keeps texting me now. We were talking about comedian Syke here, some shit. No, well.

It was about the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, It was about the comedy Syke, it was because I was talking about that girl writing the book about how us being fucked up. That was 20 minutes ago. I was just saying something else and you cut it off again and now I forget the second fucking thing I was saying. Sorry, Joe.

Jesus Christ. I'm just gonna let you talk for a next, just take over for a next minute. Let me just cool down a little bit. What I was saying was, it's a lot. It's Sunday night, you got that, I gotta go to school tomorrow feeling. It's 9-11, it's a sad day.

You're off of the smoking and try to deal with the food intake and all that bullshit. I'm on the fucking road. I got a crazy week of drive and all over the goddamn map in front of me. We're just overwhelmed, dude. It's, you know, I'm depressed too, because I've been crashing at my buddies for a week.

And now, like, tomorrow, tomorrow's my last day here that I got to leave Tuesday to do all these other gigs. But that's when it starts where I'm like, really going from place to place every day. And it's a lot of drive and staying without people I know and shit. It's kind of depressing me. I'm like, I got, it would have been cool if this part of the trip was the second part,

because it would have been a lot of running around into hanging with some friends. Right. I got the good part done first. Not that the next part would be bad. I just mean, it's just depressing me. So, you know, look, the point is, we're all depressed about a bunch of different shit here. And it's just that vibe. It's just that vibe.

Cause I'll tell you, dude, what do you do after you finish dinner? I'll tell you, that's all I've been thinking about all night. I already ate dinner, what am I gonna do now? Is it a fucking sad feeling, man? It's horrible. Isn't that a fucking it a fucking sad feeling, man? It's horrible. Isn't that a fucking one of the saddest feelings ever? I already ate now what?

It's horrible. It's fucking terrible. Yeah, I'm literally sitting here going, I don't even want to smoke, but thank God I have the option to smoke a cigarette and get like something to do. It's so so so bad. Yeah, I'm fucking believable.

And I'm looking at these fucking cock suckers. I shouldn't do this anymore. This is bad. What? What is that? What just happened? You? What just happened? Do you hear that? What? Did you hear that? What? Did that come over Skype?

Yeah, that went over Skype. What happened? So I'm just popped up on my computer. Sorry about that. What? It was like a commercial pop-up or something. What? What?

I don't know. I shut it off so fast. I couldn't tell what it was. Was it porn? No. No. It was like a commercial. I don't tell what it was. Was it porn? No, no, it was a good commercial for some. I don't know what the fuck it was. All right, I left Fats-O Patrick back in.

Man, Patrick, your teeth bugged me. Thank you, thank you, Joe, for sticking up for me. Thank you for finally doing it. I waited till he was back in your circle. I had a way it meant more. Fucking ants girl Melissa just fucking tweeted. I ate two slices of pizza before I walked down the runway today. Oh, fast metabolism. I hope you slip on the runway too. I hope you slip on ants lap and the gun goes off. Jesus, would you stop?

I don't want her to get, the gun just goes off and people get scared. I don't want any bad. They put it on all your friends. I know, I'm sorry, it's not smoking. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, Melissa. I love her. She's been, fucking Antony's been too.

Yeah, he looks good, they both look good. He fucking looks better Fucking Anthony's stand too. Yeah, he looks good. They both look good. He fucking looks better than he's ever looked. He's been training. He trained in his house. He's fucking... I gotta move out to his house. I'm starting the petition in the campaign for that now.

I'm starting the campaign. I, you know what? I don't want to do this anymore. I go live in Anthony's house and work at a store out there. We should all just move to Anthony's house and it'll be like, you ever see that movie with the radio show ship? What? The pirate radio? Yeah, yeah, that's what we should do. We should just all move to Anthony's and fucking just get healthy and get guns. We all get a room. We'll have movie night. We'll be creative. Like we'll have the studio at different

hours. We can do fucking, you know what dude? Right from there? Cariochi. You guys drink. I'll cook. we'll have the pool, fucking, let's see if Anthony will be into that, like just having like a comp, like a real compound of followers. We can try to start a religion, you know what I mean? I think he'd be into it. I soft pitched it to a bunch of you.

He didn't say no. He soft pitched it. He didn't seem against it. I feel like he'd let us do that. I feel like he'd let us leave there. Yeah, I think we just fucking get a room and... Oh God, that'd be fucking great. Good work out every day. We'd all just be shredded.

I'd get my fucking hair done. Jesus, dude. It's all I want. It's all I want. I just want to go out there and just relax. You know, this road, I mean, I love doing the shows, but God, it's lonely, dude. Yeah. It's the only thing that keeps us, I think it's the only thing that keeps you going though,

is the fucking, this torture, this fucked upness, and this sadness, and this desperate horseshit, and this constantly never being satisfied, and constantly wanting more, and never getting it, and being fat and fucking sad and skinny and in shape and feeling wonderful and these extremes of fucking holy shit to fucking I want to kill myself is the only thing that keeps us going sometimes. I think it's

the only thing, I mean at least for me, I think it's sometimes it is the only thing that keeps you fucking down. You know, cause I, you know, you just, I mean, what else, what else is there? I've been going through this for years. You know, years, I know, I know what the fucking right thing is. I know what the bad, the wrong thing is. I know what I should do. You know, right. But yeah. It's like, well, I don't know,

fucking, you know, half the people call me fat on Twitter and Facebook are fat. How does that fucking work out? You know, it's like, It makes me happy. It tells you something that makes me happy. When I go on somebody's tweet page and they have way more tweets than they do followers,

yeah, you're fucking loser. That makes you feel better about myself. Anyways, well, fuck it. I mean, this has been a mishmash of fucking horse shit It's a real depressed one man. Hey, but I mean what are you gonna do man? They're not all gonna be fucking winners Yeah, you're yeah, we're both in cut moods But anyways, no movie I watched it. I dude that I miss and and so my my check actually brought something up which I don't know if You'll probably be able to Figure out or you know shine some light on it

Okay, Fletch Classic classic fucking Awesome fucking funny funny funny, but the thing is is Did they use the same music? Excuse me in Fletch and Beverly Hills cop Was it the same fucking you know same music in the background? fucking, you know, same music in the background. And I, because I know they did that, they done that a bunch of times in movies, they use the same dramatic fucking sound, you know, I know it's not that, but there's, I think it's the same fucking music, man. I think it's the same, you know, what do they call that uh... soundbed

background soundbed i think that's the same thing and fletcher and in bevelie hills comp uh... i don't know i don't know the music well to speak to it i never noticed that but you we might be right i think i'm pretty sure i am right and they've done that a couple brokheimer films films is dot have done the same shit you know these that same fucking crazy holy shit moment with the fucking jet fighters go overhead you know

uh... uh... yet they have the same soundbed type of music the same and i think fletcher bevelie hills comp does that i watch fletch today not look not it's not it's that it's that one of the last non-edge you know the last of the

cute comedies i would call them you know because then they went into bevely hills cop and st they started getting into edgy or comedies what Well Beverly Hills cops older than Fletch. Is it? Yeah. Are you sure? I'm gonna look it up right now. Are you sure? Because that because that means the Fletch took fucking Beverly Hills Cop music. I'm gonna tell you right now, hold on. Thanks. This is... Fletcher's 85. The Billy Hills copped is 84. Fletcher came after, yeah.

Wow, and it's this, I think it's the same fucking music, bro. Now, who was it, the same production company that did it? Same director. Well, hold on after bevel heels cop that's fucking interesting uh... for both i just got a wood floor dick fluid would would dick floor would

would for liquor uh... just said yeah Harold foul from Meyer right soundtrack for Fletcher and Beverly Hills Cop so there you go dissimilar I would even say similar it's either fucking same all right yeah I didn't where'd you find that it for you somebody tweet that to you? I would floor look or did it Tweeted it to me so fuck yeah, that's crazy. I Saw I never picked that up until today my wife was like I can't watch I don't have an hard time watching. I'm like wise. It's fucking Fletch

She gives the same music as Beverly Hills comps and it's kind of weird me out. It's I keep thinking it's Beverly Hills Comp and then I I was like holy holy shit it is it sounds exactly the same but Fletch fucking that fucking uncreative Harold douchebag couldn't fucking come up with another jingle a year later Jesus really fucking boom Bump, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, boom, scamp, scamp, boom, scamp scamp, boom, And you know all the Chevy Chase's movies I like I personally think they're fucking awesome I love Chevy Chase back then now I you know I guess he's funny again on that show, but you know I loved his movies back then because he was just so sarcastic and fucking I Don't know funny. I just loved his fucking horses

Yeah, he was great. He was great, but I love that he took a picture of the fucking dog on the roof And that was back when they made movies when they didn't give a fuck about animals and if you watch that They just the guy just takes off the stunt guy takes off with the dog on the roof and the dog just falls off the car and lands Like really hard on those back legs That's fucking great falls off the car and lands like really hard on those back legs. That's fucking great. That's hilarious. That's like the old Westons when they just used to trip a horse.

That's hilarious. Yeah, fucking horses would be flying down. They just fucking rip a rope up and the horse would just go flying. And the stunt guy would land on a mattress and the horse would just fucking scrape on his face down his side of a mountain. Yeah, I love like that you watch this all like buster keyed things. If you see like a bridge explode, you're like they really just blew that bridge up. Yeah, they just really, they used to really kill Indians back in the days.

Nice. Fucking wild, man. Well, yeah, I mean, I saw, that was what i was trying to tell you as i saw don't be afraid of the dark and it was terrible really fucking horrific well i got in this podcast really soon within the next couple minutes because i'm going to see uh... warrior tonight so i've gotten nothing but incredible reviews and I'm an MMA guy But I heard it's really not about the MMA. I heard it's a really fucking great movie

So I'll give you a full review on our podcast this week but Because this is just a this podcast is just a fucking test Skype live test fucking thing that we're doing but so well you your movie sucked it just sucked bad it was terrible man it was terrible it was a big Katie Holmes and Guy Pierce play a married couple and they move into this house and they have Guy Pears' daughter moves in with them. And the daughter doesn't like Katie Holmes. And it turns out there's like there's this basement in the house that's walled off at hidden.

And they go into it and they're these fucking, there's like this great that they open. There's these like little demons that live down in this great that need to emerge from this thing once every however many years and they need to take a life so they can keep existing. And it just goes from there, but it's based on a TV movie from the 1970s that's actually pretty good.

But it was just terrible. There was like so many parts where you were like, like the fucking demons are like trying to like capture this little girl through the whole movie, you know? Right. And there's like scenes where they're like running all over her and like attacking her, but not trying to kill her.

It's like your whole goal is to kill this fucking kid and eat her bones or whatever the fucking story is. It's like, killer, what are you doing? Like, it was just really, really, it looked like they were like, we need to stretch this idea out for two hours and we don't give a fuck how or if it makes sense, just make it last two hours.

And didn't answer any of the questions. I just don't fucking why can't they make a fucking horror movie Joe? Why? I was talking to my buddy about it. I said horror horror is like porn. People like it for the money shots and they don't expect quality but it's like anybody that gives a shit once a little fucking elbow grease put into it. And people treat it the way most people treat porn. And they just go,

any porn is porn, poor any porn will do. It's like, no, I get mad at porn too. If I'm watching it and they have a shitty fucking camera angle and I can't see what's going on, that makes me fucking angry. And I'm like, what are you doing? Let's just look at the guys ass.

Horror is easy. That just has to be it's like an action movie. You know, that's why I love fucking man on fire. What a great movie. What are you going to do? Kill them all. Anybody who is involved, anybody who looks at me sideways. That any just goes and he kills them all that's you know it's fucking great

That's what makes it great. There's no one. I'm gonna kill everybody He sticks explosive and this guy's ass cuts this guy's finger off. I mean it's just a fucking takes I mean that's that's a that's an action film as we do no Just go do it the fuck you do and a harm over the same thing You don't need a fucking just have the monsters kill the fucking people. Just that's it. That's why Michael Myers was great. He walked by a window, you were like, oh, this dumb bitch. And then he stabbed you in the fucking throat. And then when somebody, there was no stopping him. You just went and killed people. There was no negotiating. You can make him tilt his head like a fucking dumb dog

if you were his sister, but then he'd still come at you. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, dude, I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, it's hard movies need to have simple plots and they need, because the more complex they try to make it, once you start getting into, well the legend says, and all that shit, it's like you're over complicating it. If you could pull it off great,

but if you can't, it's because it's too fucking complicated and people don't answer all the questions that need to be answered. It's trying to be fucking crazy. It's an untaped market. In action is the perfect example, dude. Action is an almost untapped market when you think about it from an artistic perspective. There are so few action movies that are like legitimately good movies. And there are so many that are just horseshit. Because again, it's like porn.

People are just waiting for a fucking money shot and see something explode. But then you see something explode. But then you see something like Predator and you go, this is a fucking great movie. The movie itself is great. And it's fucking action and it's awesome. And Star Wars, Indiana Jones, they do exist.

The Bond movie, some of them, you know? Right. So anyway. All right. I mean,, some of them, you know? Right. So anyway, all right. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I mean, I haven't seen a fucking great horror movie. I mean, I think paranormal activity too was pretty good. The Blair Witch was scary. But I mean, I think the Xs is three was scary. The Xs is one was fucking scary. All this fucking bullshit with special effects ruin horror movies. You know, it just ruins it. You know, when the blood comes out like a fucking Japanese anime movie, you know.

Mike Myers was fucking scary Halloween was scary Friday the 13th was scary That shit was crazy scary because it had very simple plots a one guy that couldn't be killed that just kills you for no reason It's fucking great and a little TNA which was always great Which they're not adding in horror movies anymore for some reason that was one of the best parts about how you knew you were gonna get a little TNA which was always great which they're not adding in horror movies anymore for some reason That was one of the best parts about how you knew you were gonna get a little titty Maybe even a little box maybe a little hair maybe to get to see the patch Number seeing memo how awesome seeing a patch Oh

Remember when that used to fucking be awesome Joe just seeing a patch of pubes in a movie. Oh It still turns me on Joe. Just seeing a patch of pubes in a movie. Oh, it still turns me on. Everyone, when you see a patch, you see that little fucking square patch of pubes. That's great. It was good stuff. Oh, it's cool. It was great stuff.

And you'd always get one in the horror movie. You'd always, you get a little titty. You get a nice little titty, but then you know, every once in a while you get that little fucking patch and you'd be like, oh god. And then you got killed, which was even perfect, more perfect. You know, that's how you feel after you're done banging that broad. I love it. I love it. Yeah, dude, I've been working on a horror idea for like a fucking year and I told you that before.

That's all I wanna do, dude. I eventually would, I'd be so happy if I could make horror movies. That'd be the most fun ever. Yeah, make horror movies. And we should just do it over at Antshouse. We make horror movies at Antshouse. We use his camera equipment

We'll just make it all from the backyard. We call it the pool killer or the hot tub murderer We use all his we'll use his weapons You know his knives and swords and fucking and guns right and we just fucking, that's the home base. I love it. I mean, all right, we'll listen to it. We've been talking for an hour and 30. I don't know, I don't even know how many people listening to this fucking podcast. Again, this was another test with me and Joe. Joe's on the road where he's on Skype through my iPad, which is connected to the zoom, which is connected to the fucking computer, going live. We're going to be doing this. I just got a mixing board. We're going to be hooking this up to sound a lot better than this. And you know,

we're going to be doing the bringing the podcast up to the next level, bringing more guests on with me and Joe and But this was a test. I hope this shit worked out. I hope you guys whoever was fucking sitting around on a sunny night You know checked it out and enjoyed it Joe you have anything to plug before we wrap this shit up Got my new album out on iTunes Return of the son of depression auction give it a look and a buy if you don't mind it if you buy it and you like it Weaver review and Jotaro's a comedy.com check the show section. I'll be

All through North and South Carolina this week. So come see something if you can right and Raw if you guys want to email the show you can email me motherfuckers um it's Robert Kelly at gloryholeradio.com again we're gonna be doing another thank you for donations we actually got more donations Joe uh that's great. Well the thank you for the donations are gonna be coming out this Monday on the podcast. We did most of them.

We got some more since then. So we're doing that once every two weeks, we'll be thanking live, anybody who's donated and the people that donated 20 actually get the CD through the email. So if you haven't gotten it yet, you will just hold on. And if you have any questions for the podcast, Robert Kelly at gloryholdradio.com and you know iTunes and all that shit, keep spreading the word about the podcast. I am going to be this week. I'll be in New York I'm filming all week the 2-2. I got to look at myself dude God damn my fat and uniform. Well you're gonna change it dude you're gonna change it don't dwell on it just change it. Yep six months from now baby I'll be back.

And hopefully it'll be my last fat. It is. That's not we said this last time and the time before that I've been saying this since fucking six grade Joe You know the whole thing is perspective and attitude Bob. Don't go into it with that attitude Just saying that it's the last bet. I think the next podcast we do we should actually pick up on this horror show shit I actually like this. I think we should both come up with a horror a horror movie idea and and we should pitch it and then we'll fucking we'll do it Joe the best idea. I'm not saying my idea on the air so somebody could fucking steal it. I guess you're actually serious about writing a fucking horror movie. I haven't been working on it for a year. I'm not saying another god there there.

I'll think of a new thing. You could have done that in your own head. You didn't even have a fucking announcer of years and insecurities on the fucking podcast allowed. Fucking hey. All right, buddy. My wife's been staring at me. She looks, she's all dolled up. We're going to see this movie and then we're going to get some dinner. Shaken fries. How's that place? Now it's not good. Shaken. Shaken. Shaken. Now, all right. Did I been telling you about Shaken fries. How's that place? Now it's not good shake shake no

All right, I've been telling you about shake check for the last year. Oh, she just shook her fucking head No, so I guess that's out of the question anyways I'll have it but it's good all right All right, well, I want to thank everybody who is listening Woodflow liquor shock and jock Patrick Melissa, I love you and All the other cocksackers who tweeted in Patrick you back in I love you buddy and he He made a comment you might not because the last comment was I can fix my teeth. I can you can never fix the lack of shoulders Let's trade smile for posture.

I saw that. I just couldn't bring attention to it. I did. All right. Well, I'd like to thank everybody too for all the support and for listening. Yes. Yes. All right, buddy. I'll talk to you later. See you, brother. Bye. Thanks again for listening to another episode of you know what dude podcast on Gloryholeradio.com and make sure to check out all the other shows on the glory home network If you're using the stitcher app type in the word fart when you register I tune users don't forget to subscribe and leave a review if you're a real fan of the show and you want to show your support, go to GloryholeRadio.com slash Robert Kelly and hit the donate button.

$10 will get you a shout out on the air. $20 will get you my first CD, Robert Kelly Live, not available in stores. If you have any questions, email me at Robert Kelly en gloriholradio.com. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea.

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