Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - She Is a Scammy Broad

Episode Date: July 8, 2013

Robert recaps the recent YKWD trip and show at Foxwoods along with Greer Barnes, Danny Lobell, Dan Soder, Luis J Gomez and Kelly Fastuca.  RiotCast.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Mao, a Madrid.

Buscas contenido gratis. ¡Au, un abici! Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlos sin pagar nunca. en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Solicitate un beca en fundación la caixa.org ¿Y qué es lo que es, Robert Kelly? En la network riotcast.com Me voy a mi website RobertKellyLive.com

Y cheque todo en mi torre de día. Estoy en casa, me voy a ir a y voy a ir a mi torre de día. Estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa, estoy en casa Come. And check out all my tour dates. I'm coming near you. I'm not coming on you. And I'm not, I'm coming to do shows near you. Oh, get it. So I'm coming down to do some shows. I want you to come. I want you to spread the word. Come to my show.

See me live. Robertkellilive.com, my Facebook, my Twitter, my Vine account. Go check out all my Vines at Robertkelli on Vine. I got some funny stupid stuff up there. Retweet it. Spread the word. Let's go. Do this motherfucker. Go to iTunes and review and support the podcast. Subscribe. Keep us up there. Get it. We've never been in the top 10 ever. Holy shit. Why? Anyways, there you go. RobertKberkill live.com for all your robber Kelly needs so here we go scammy broad intro this one is fucking funny

it's just funny I know there's a lot of people in there and sometimes it was talking over and some screaming, but fuck yourself. This is a funny episode. Man, that I laugh on this one. One of you fans gave us, I don't smoke, I don't eat them, I'm sober, but weed brownies. It was the week after we came back from Foxwoods with Lewis, Jay Gomez, and Fistuka did a show with

me which was a lot of fun. It was good to be on the road with comics I know, we had a good time. Those guys did a great job, the shows are great, thanks for showing up by the way. The nasty show was a blast. We might do that again, we did a podcast from there and it oh my, it was a fun weekend, but we had some issues. Let's just say that. We had some issues and they got brought up on this show. And, you know, and then one of you fans gave weed brownies

and cookies, which, you know, and they were eating and fucking, some people got really fucked up. And this show is crazy. Daniela Bell, Dan Soda, Louis J. Gomez, Greer Barnes stopped by for the first time, and Kelly Fistuka and myself had a blast. This one was fun, man. I, shit, I didn't want to hit the stop button,

but I had to because people needed to take naps and get snacks. Ha! It was funny. So if you don't think this is funny, fuck yourself in the mirror. Go fuck yourself in the ass because you have no sense of humor And you are a fucking douchebag Scamy broad intro Boom, there you go DAD YKWD Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton.

This is Dennis Leary. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Chrysler. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude? If he be by a, if he be boo,

dippy, dippy, dallya, yabba dabba, dude. Dude! This is Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what dude? I'm fucking so angry at you right now. I swallowed you when I came in. And now first of all, you lit up like a little school girl right now. That's great. I have a puppy now though.

Fucking, I've been trying to get her peppy since she's been here. I looked over, she goes, what do you want me to do? The man, we're never gonna man again. You walk in with your stupid green shirt and your dumb head. I don't think you need to bring the green shirt into this. And she goes, I think it was more of my tiger beat vibes. I'm sorry that I brought him out. Robert, you even asked him to smile for you I think it was more of my tiger beat by Sorry that I brought by you Robert you even asked her to smile for you and she couldn't do it. Yeah, I said can you please smile?

She's really I can't smile And you walk in high came in with that Kurt Cameron on growing pains energy show me that smile Quack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack Show me that smile Flat tire just got me out of that one if both your parents are Israeli. You're not gonna smile That's that's just a cultural fact Fucking do you want you crime right now? True if Danny wasn't Jewish you would swear he was in a militia like you for he said something like that You're like well everyone knows two sides of his wailin' means no smile and you're like, kind of West Virginia shit is that. Yeah.

You know, you know Jews don't like other Jews. You know, they're both the, get around each other, they can smell the Jew on each other, they don't smile. Yeah, man, you can smell that bread. My name is Rihanna. Don't talk without a microphone.

We can't hear you. This is a podcast. That's how we do it. Is there a mic over here? Do we have that extra mic? No, not yet. Oh, did you get the thing for the thing? Yeah, I think it's in the bag.

No, we'll get that. We got... Who are you waiting on? Wes. Fucking little. What time is it? It's 10 to five. Oh, he's still got time.

I did request 445. You did, but he's fucking doesn't 10 to five. Oh, he's still got time. I did request 445. You did But he's fucking doesn't listen to you and Kelly was here on time Unbelievable Danny was real early like he had like he doesn't have an apartment to stay in Like whoever he's staying with while he's here They're like yeah, don't show up me and my wife need a little time to ourselves I get out of work at five. You can meet me then. It's called the heavy effect.

I don't know what that means. But we'll make Colin Quinn laugh as ass off when he hears this if he ever does. Put your phone away. I want to tweet it out. I don't get, we don't need it. You don't do that? No, because we have way more follows than you. We're good.

We got you. This is about you, Dan. Put that down. That's not life. If you're going to tweet it out, if you're going to tweet it out, why are you here? You don't need it. We got Daniel LaBelle, very funny guy.

One of my, I, I've, I've, I've, I took a, I shouldn't like you. Why not? I don't know. I just shouldn't like you, but I, I just took a shine to you. You just, there's something about you. I was sparkling, my aunt. I don't know. You do have a took a shine to you. You just, there's something about you. This is sparkling, man. I don't know, you do have a sparkle.

You can't, you do. I look over and look at his eyes. Look at those big brown eyes. Yeah. Very forgiving face. That's that huge face. That feels safe with you. I don't like that Rotem really,

found that fat joke funny. All right, relax, I'm fat too. We got Dan Soda, aka monster voice. Good to see you. I just spit egg roll onto my microphone. I thought of that, that made me laugh the other day. I thought about when you said it's my voice sounds like I was born in a puddle in a cave.

That just really made me laugh the other day when I was by myself. I think I ordered something and I was like, I do sound like that. I'm a fucking dumb deep voice. Yeah, you do have a deep voice. You're not gonna age well either. It's gonna be like Tom Waitz.

Yeah, you better get, I hope. You're gonna age, this is what's gonna happen to you. You look good now for like three years. And then I say three, you've already had one. I'll give you the other one, so you got four here's left. Okay. You don't have five from here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, you're gonna be like a jazz singer like you're gonna start wearing weird hats. Yeah Welcome all down to the comedy review Tonight we got a yeah Tonight we got a great show

Don't forget the salmon Seasonal That's gonna be a great comment. I like that look at Danny who fucking used to have a hit podcast Getting back into the group He's good. You know, you know, I walked away from the world of podcasts right it right at the right at the peak what I did is I first I got into print media right as it died And then I got into podcasting before it took off. Yeah, you had a huge podcast. I had a big podcast It was on the guest used to get

were unbelievable yeah carlin got carlin larry keng all sorts of people that come to your paul jivani paul jimati chris rock kid rock jimati that too jimati all on and this is way before podcast work it was i had the first one now you did not have a first i had the first podcast i had the first one. Oh, you did I had the first I had the first podcast. I had the first podcast interview in comedian. I I did I had the first podcast With comedians. All right, man Colin Quinn me and sometimes Colin Quinn was the first podcast

With comedians. I think I was doing it before you and Colin Quinn. I don't think so. I think I was I don't think you were I don't think you were and it's my show So that's it don't say that I will kick you off the show When are they gonna fight in the mud? Yeah, is that a fucking pig joke? No, that was a girl's in bikini's joke. Oh look who's here Here we are, shit. Oh shit. The most people as dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fit into it anymore. So I gave it to him. It's a great shirt, right? No, it's not. Why isn't it a great shirt? There's like, there's way better boss than Red Sox shirt. That looks like an affliction shirt. Yeah, but that's what's cool about it. Oh, that's not what's cool. Yeah, it is. It's not cool. I'll tell you what's cool. What's cool about it? Is that asshole gets to wear

a red sock shirt now? Yeah. Yeah, he can't wear just a regular red socks shirt. He looks like he mugged a Red Sox fan if he had a regular red sucks shirt on Honestly red socks could be hockey. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. I don't watch those gay sports Greer this is what we have to deal with We have fire. What's up, baby? What's up, man? NW. What's up son? We got Greer bonds the the Greer bonds one of the funniest guys Walking the planet right now. I've heard that I don't know how much I buy into that shit, but I've heard it.

Fucking hilarious. It's unbelievable. We have Kelly Fistoga, one of the least funny persons. Whatever Greer is the comedy, she is the opposite. The opposite. Yeah, she is. That is what they call the spectrum my friends I'm gonna be in the same sentence is Grilla. Yeah, you're gonna you're either gonna be here or here I mean are in between

Ladda keep the comical world in balance and she was on comical radio too. She used to do a show with Icona Wait, what what you had your own life did you yeah your own show? No, I was a guest on a show It was good friend to come you your co-host on his show weren't you for the grandma's basement oh no i was on it a few times but i was a crybaby you know i in it as a member of how little i paid attention to Chris's show ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We uh, I brought you all here today. First of all, I'm very excited that Greer came on. And this is so funny because there's certain people that I kind of, I don't really bother, I don't really, you know, I don't really, hey, you know, there's, I got you guys and certain people,

hey, can I come on, but Greer walked by me and said, hey, when can I take your podcasts? And I was like, fuck him, whatever you want. What are you? What are you, an open micer? I've known you, my whole fucking New York comedy career. Just say I'm coming on, asshole. That's right. I mean, I don't mean that. Yeah, I don't mean that.

Like, I don't do that next week, because you can't. It's already booked, but I didn't know what Florence owns. Yeah. Guys, career is on every episode. Career won't stop coming. And just like, I can't follow. He's murdered. Just like the seller.

I can't follow this guy. I'm really, let me tell you something. You got to go up and have to fucking career. It's, I'll tell you, before you tell what I was going to tell. No, I just was going to say it. I just like saying it. It's when he's cut for it. I caught you fucking cock-sucker.

I caught you pulling a fucking god-free. No, no shit You're a fucking thought-stealer When he he man when he's on stage this is what sucks about you a grip What's that is you kill effortlessly? You bring them up and you bring him down and you fucking just back and forth like a badminton game. Like I gotta go up sometimes and you motherfuckers are coming. Come on. Come on. Here goes with and it's like what though and then it just kills them and then it just

goes yeah it takes a sip. He really does kill like that net crack like That's how he mergers I'm here if he doesn't kill it's cuz he decided to let you go You know it's like a fucking son to let you live it really is checking the lineup every night You're like fucking gotta follow career. Yeah You can do this you can do this Yeah, Greer's a mother fucker to follow But I also like following them because he gets the crowd into this

This storytelling mode, which is great. Yes, you know when it's uh Joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke and then I go up and I'm like hey, I like to say hi Yeah, just go up and go so I was uh Walking down the street in New York, New York's funny. I don't do that shit. Kelly gets him into a story telling mode, but the story is that girl really sucked that comedy. Oh, fire in the first shot. I was in the taping of Gurus Comedy Central Special. And it's to this day probably one of the greatest live stand-up shows I've ever seen.

That's not true, but the thing is, I did it. Richard Prior. I didn't see that live not true but I Richard prior I didn't see that live any Murphy wrong listening. I'm talking about live show be more specific You said the one you saw you know on the you saw you've been awful hostile since I moved to LA You're mad. I am out of you. I know. I am mad at you for moving LA because you shouldn't have fucking moved Yeah, you take it fine here and now you know who else is moving? I know. Shit dick is going to tell you.

And you blame me on the phone. You blame me for the Goumets. You guys really do look like an 80s tag team in the WWE world. Like I had any influence on Lewis's life. It's a little time. Take a fucking picture when he makes a joke like that. She's just sitting over there with her car show body. Stop, stop, listen to me.

Stop enjoying the show, asshole. She should be in a bikini next to a Ferrari at the Javits center. She's the only intern that you look up, and she's like, yeah, that's good. You're not here to approve us face. I think you must be one of the only people that liked me here because It's good that you move to LA

First of all Danny, he's the first of all Danny, we got it, you said that before but now listen listen settle down Stop holding the couch tight, so sweet to me, stop holding the couch tight Stop, it's doing the two parts,park I think everyone everyone said I could move Yeah, you fucking this guy has hopes and dreams of making it to look at amy didn't do it's not working out for me Is that work? Is it here don't do don't follow for me. Is that working? Stay here. Don't do. Don't follow. Did you bring him here for that reason? But no, this is where God lost angels intervention. Don't make the mistakes that I made. The end of when you get up on stage out there. No, I am. It's going all right. How many times have we got me? You know what? Bobby nailed it on the phone. It's a boring place to live. Yeah.

Unless everybody shuts down. The funniest thing he said on a phone to me was that you wind up watching the television that the rest of America watches right the night before I got dragged into watching the voice with my girlfriend. And I was like, this is not supposed to be hell like this. Yeah, but I got a baby now. I kind of live that life. I watch the voice. We watch, you know, you're not supposed to think it could dance because you're a fan So you think you're condensed because you have fruit eating Gany does good voices shit watch your place dude little bells coming back to New York City to turn this around on me Right now

Yeah, guess what I'll be in New York doing my voices Good job. I'm glad you missed that road time. Sit back and listen to Dan talk some more asshole She's in here. You fucking take care of this Kelly. She's engaged with this giant smile. She loves him. What the fuck? I was listening. Don't talk and tape. In her mind right now, I'm wearing fire pants. I just hold it in there.

I guarantee the only video we have is Dan talking. Or just mugging. I bet you she slipped video of her own in there of him changing through his window. I don't have windows. So that you don't have a window. No, my bedroom. Fuck you, dude. That's called the closet and it's illegal. Yeah, dude. in there of him changing through his window. I don't have windows. You don't have a window? No, my bedroom.

Fuck you, dude. That's called the closet and it's illegal. Yeah, dude. Have fun in your New York City windowless apartment. Yeah. It's cool. I'm going to be a New York City with Los Angeles with a backyard and a fucking...

Can you use your name right? Oh, swimming pool. Can you, Danny Lowe Bell just get in the bathroom? Can you use the bathroom? Can you use the garden? Can you use the garden? Can you use the garden? Can you use the garden?

Can you use the garden? Can you use the garden? Can you use the garden? Can you use the garden? Can you use the cars just getting fatter? Can you say faggot with an accent so we don't know that you really mean it? Yeah. You racist can you just stop? Fags aren't a race. Oh, there it goes. That fucking appartized. There it goes. That fucking appartized.

Right it down. Fags aren't a race. There it goes. KY Jelly trying to advertise. Somebody puts that as like a funny quote from the show and then it becomes associated with you. What? Are you talking about the Zabiania? No, not on us. and then somebody puts that as like a funny quote from the show and then it becomes associated with you. Are you know? There's a be on you.

No, not on us. We throw him under the bus so bad. I wouldn't even blink. I would do a show where I'm already throwing him under the bus. That was Louis J. Goat. As long as there ain't no fangs on that bus. You know what happened? You built an ensemble cast because I did this at Commacle and then when they leave,

it's very offensive. And especially, I think you wanted to raise kids together something i i don't you you get these people together you get a nice thing going right now what are you talking about it again till you come around to what i'm saying no i don't know what you saying you're an asshole i'm saying you get you get an ensemble of people together that all mesh really well in the air yeah and then one of them leaves it happened to me happens all the time i have a i have a

fluctuating uh... crew that comes in not everybody i thought this was a study no we're all studio musicians this coming in jama joe joe list is in here today uh... the guitar unbelievable and on it on it on its pop some drums and then you know that's the other on a rhythm section is pretty god Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this symbol basher, he's security. Do you guys want to go? You guys want these girls backstage or not?

This one already put out in the hallway. She stuck my dick from behind. It's called milking. Is that a real turn? Oh, sorry. Oh, yes it is. I wanted to tell you this story. I got off the phone with you and you

gave me this whole rant about why I shouldn't live in LA. And I'm doing my best to stick up for my choice. And I'm like, it's fine here. And I walk outside of the building. I mean, I hit the zapper of my car and there's no car there. It had been towed in the time that I talked to you while you told me how much LA sucked. It cost me $500 to get that car back. And I got cut in line by Peggy Bundy.

Really? Why is everybody saying that? First of all, that was the van at the 80's. That car back and I got cut in line by Peggy Bundy Ladies a gal yeah hang on first. Well, name is Gemma Gemma Gemma tell her I didn't even know who she was because I was so mad about the car I was just so upset and then this woman comes in and cuts me in line and I go well, why'd you let her go? And the guy goes that's Peggy Bundy man. That's Peggy Bundy. She's got to go I go what is, why'd you let her go? And the guy goes, that's Peggy Bondy, man. That's Peggy Bondy. She's got to go, I go, what is this, a nightclub? That's fucking hilarious. What, what, what, dude, I'm gonna give a fuck with your status.

That's a real ass dude. Get in my fucking face. You belong working security at a honky-talking South Dakota. I'm not being in lawson. I wanna tell you something would happen this weekend. Let me tell you something, Lewis, Jay Gomez is a real ass dude.

Yeah, you did. I'm gonna, I've always been get it. I've always been against it. I've always been like, I don't know what the fuck that means. It's kind of, it's kind of a game. No, it's not, you love it. He's never changed though, he's always been like. Thank you, career. I did a show, I did a show at him this week

and he was a middle of for me, I could talk to him. Nice. It's first show Saturday. I come out, there's a table, Yappin, they fucking yelled at her. They didn't really say much to him, but they were talking, talking. And I said something to the guy, and he's not just screaming. Like, there's no, it stands up.

He won't let me, it's like I had fuck you, goodbye. You're too drunk, you fucking been yapping since I've been up here. And you bother the people next, you get them the fuck out. And they throw them out. Throw them out, so he starts yelling, he goes, fuck, and I help you die a heart disease. Which isn't really a fucking insult, because it takes like five or ten years.

You know what I mean? So it's like, thank you for letting me live for a couple of years. I might be able to fix this. Yeah, take it. It's giving be a shot. I really hope you get a low level blood disease. That's cure is possible if caught really. I hope you get bit by a tick and there's a 3% chance

you catch Lyme disease from it. Brody, but you're close. Yeah, I get home. 3% just say Lyme disease, you idiot. Well, no, some people think I'm doing. I put it up. Oh my gosh! Why was it being a three percent shirt?

A three percent shirt? Lime disease is fine. That fits the funny. And you go down leg? You can't even... Oh my gosh. This cock sack is getting hot. Well, some people might think you'd catch lime disease

a little bit easier than three percent. So I don't want it to clarify. There's any it. So then the guy yells at me, I kissed chicks. And I was like, yeah, you're gonna stand on your tippy toes to do it pussy. Yeah, I was funny. Cause he was a little tiny dude.

So he goes outside, they drag him out. He's coming back and saying shit. So Lou, I'll go on. I, the show's fine. The crowds great. They start chanting. As whole. Oh, that was the best.

As whole. It was awesome. As the whole, it was a table. Oh, it was fucking great. And then, the crowds great they start chanting as oh as awesome as the whole there's a table always fucking great and then um so Lewis goes outside and he uh... can I tell the story they tell story all interjective you say anything wrong i'm sure you'll be up your real ass dude i don't like why would he do what did he do real asses on my what did he do so this guys as he's walking out he goes out to whatever he does, right?

These guys come up to him with the girl. Hey, man. We thought you were real funny We thought you were really good and he goes now I'm cool man. I don't I don't want you compliment I'm I'm set I'm all set and like what what do you talk about man? We thought you're funny He goes yeah, but I don't I'm good. I don't want you you tell you said you hope my friend dies Yeah, I don't want you you told you said you hope my friend dies. Yeah. I don't want you compliment That's real. That's real don't want you and then they go well fucking what dude? And it goes and I'm the point Here we go. Did you hit her?

I'm not a pump pump pump. I didn't come up to these guys saying hey come fucking chat with me And I said that I was like guys. I didn't approach you. I was like look I get it You know to argue with the comedian just fucking beat it I'm not like you know, I'm not taking your compliment have a good day. I wasn't even being shitty Dude it was actually the most level-headed. I've ever been in my entire life. I'm so you feel really shitty Yeah, I'm not being shitty at all. Yeah, right. Yeah, so then so good So I started walking away and then the one guy goes yeah Well, I hope your friend does die a fucking heart disease and then then he snaps. So then I turn into the little shit.

And then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,ican yeah, he's a people a rotwiler and a fucking great day All wrapped in the one all what great Darksoaker so then go ahead so I yeah, so let me you see me flip out Dude hang on one second Kenny. What'd you say I said great dins are timid no just the size I didn't know they're gentle giant. I didn't know how to clap you took the people the row wall is fucking Personality with the great game guys. I'll fucking fill you in on the jokes I was just I'm expensive I was standing Standing up for the breed I'm regal

Expensive and rare why is he standing up to great day? You might be that might be one of the greatest things Lewis Gomez has ever said in my life. I'm expansion. Jacob and rare. It's Jay and I will never not Jay. It's never silent. Listen. The Jay is for rare. I don't know. He had three any tragedy. Let him finish. So he says that and then what? Yeah, so I immediately... I want you to back up from the microphone a little bit and I want you to...

I'm the guy. I mean, I'm the guy. He's pulling the microphone. You know, you tell these the guy. Kelly, you gotta be closer to me. I can't, he's the guy. I can't, he's the guy. No, the guy's just sitting there.

Yeah, but at that point, he thought I was gonna walk away. And I don't walk away from I'm such a real nice to run up to him. Yeah, I'm like yeah, mother fucker say it again mother fucker Why do I have to move This point this pussy is insane shit, so you don't need the microphone Any scared of me Get this up video if you don't get this up video you're fired All right, guys, go ahead stand up. It's good to take the mic out of the stand. It's gonna melt All right, go go go

What's up? Say something motherfucker? I'll fuck you up and a fuck your boy was up And his boy was right there By the way sit in there not saying shitty. He don't stand up to him or no, you can't no The pot Danny go ahead Me don't you know real fight get it way too into my character. Just go do it go So say something motherfucker say it again motherfucker at this point a female security guard comes over to me And she's like sick. Oh, what's the problem? She starts talking into her shoulder piece. I'm like, no, we're gonna need some baguettes,

a problem here right now, this porter, you can guys attack us. What's it, can I ask you a shoulder piece? It's a shoulder piece. That walkie talkie thing. Yeah, everyone got it, but you bob. Well, that's because Bobby wasn't used to your Viking translations of a radio,

a shoulder radio. A shoulder piece. That's all you had to say, a shoulder piece? I've actually, yeah, is that a gun on the shoulder Tina Turner in the Thunderdome? Yo, yo check out my new shoulder piece. Oh shoulder pieces. I've been through this before like a million times with my old Neighbor the exact same word for word. Tell me I won't tell me I won't son What the fuck what what what did you turn into an angry Puerto Rican? That was an angry black dude. It's just good voices. Oh, this is fun. It's what's gets the guess the angry ethnicity. Look at my eyes. Look at woke up. I woke up. Tell him, wait, wait, wait. Here's laughing.

What? That's what he's saying to me all the time. I'd be like, I'd be like, you won't. You won't. All right, listen, let's settle down. Let's settle down. Here's to hold a knife up to me. Jesus.

Yeah. So what he left New York. So he had to. I was okay with all that. So you, so you this guy, and what they do, what the fuck and sit there like pussy staring forward and then the security guy, another guy came over because she, she showed the radio to him.

Right. And I was like, I brought it here, you know what I do? I'm with the comedy, I'm a comedy there, kick that. And it's sort of like just slowly walking away and calming down. Right. And that was that.

Right. And that's it. What did you look at them again? Did you see them lead? Here's what I I did I smoked weed in my room nice and then I walked back down I'm hoping to see them because at that point I'd calm down but I thought of a game plan had I saw them like at that point it was before I would I just seen red I was ready to fucking just fire off right now I was a Latino rage I went up and I smoked some pot the white part of me came over and I said I'm gonna come out with a fucking game plan and I didn't do well speaking of

game plan one of the fans said some gifts in for Dan Kelly and you lose yes so this this is your your reward for being a real ass dude. Hold on a second. I've had, I don't know if I would have been that fucking real. When they come out and they compliment you, I hate that shit. When your comics on the road, and you see that fucking middle guy,

or whoever the fuck it is, talking to the people that got kicked out, and they're like, yeah man, you know, and they're, you know, they're telling you, you're good, or you're better than the head me, just because they got kicked out. You're really not better than me, Lewis. That was just saying that.

They were trying to divide and conquer. Well, that happened to a lot of showcases in the city. You get like five, six views on a show, and then a lot of people come out, maybe they didn't have a great time, but they liked you and they're like, oh, you were great, the other guys weren't that good.

But I have like, you know, my stock response is, oh, did everybody's good, you know, you're guys weren't that good but i have like i hear my stock responses i did everybody's good you know you know showcase that's your real-ass dude i know you i i know you actually i never get that uh... real-ass dude in a fake ass town louis jay goman you know fake about new york now

watch out what about mla yeah that's tensile time i need to be the real-ass that's right there's too many real-ass dudes in this time i can't wait to be here i can't wait to be a real as do to a Mexican gang member Yeah, would you say yes? He's gonna look at you tattoo loose from afar looks like a badass like a gang member with his tattoos

Then you come up and you know it's a it's a fucking Jack Russell with a microphone tattoo Like maybe it's not so tough Everybody I think everyone from the east coast that comes out there's gonna, I'm gonna be the, I'm gonna be the really scary in LA. I'm gonna be the tough one and then they get there and they're like, oh, it's pretty nice. The only one that make it work is to be fake. I think it's a tan.

All right, so listen to me. All right, shut your face just for one second. I got this fan who sent this into us. He's just a big fan. He's from Sacramento. Facebook, yeah. I know you're talking about Facebook. Okay.

Okay, RWC, I don't know. So by the way, this is why it's not the reward for my actions because the guy already told me two weeks ago Yes, and in the ship here's a reward for your actions though. I could have fucking kept it and never gave it to you Oh really fucking pot edibles. I could have fucking bartered Anyways, no right This is for you which is a smoking that's a giant's cap. That's awesome Kelly ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Where is it? Put, is a huge pussy on the show and it deserves a huge hat. A huge mungus hat in here for his huge head. Oh, he's right. And then there's a brownie.

It fits. Nice hat. Nice. There's good giants too. I had fun laying fits your head, Dan. Hey, you see Gus Kelly. Yeah. He likes Cinderella.

Hey, sorry. Give that to Louis. That's for you, buddy. Crazy, thank you. I'm not going to, I don't know. So thank you for sending that into the people. Thanks for sending me something. I'm sober for fucking 30 years.

And I like the red socks. What is that? These are, I think these are candies. You wanna have them now? Yeah, the weed candies, you want one? That shit doesn't work. It works, dude. Oh, they do.

Oh, they work. Guys, guys, guys, guys, stop talking over each other. Can I think, what's his name, who came out? Who? What's his name who came out who? What's his name on Twitter? I'm apparently a fucking really good friend with them No, the guy came out and gave us fucking brownies and fingers at me. I'm not done Lambert. I'm damn Eastside damn Eastside Eastside Daily. Why you look on the thing? Yeah, at Eastside Dan came out to the shows on Saturday night with fucking joints and weed cookies Dude with the only system these white people at at this point they really not inject the fucking weed

into the shit. Watch the fuck wait a second just cuz you get a black guy on the show we were all of a sudden white people you've never said that ever you fucking really are just a fucking piece of shit. You're a fucking me. Where's the real ass dude now? You are a fucking just a cyborg. Hey look're a fuck on me. Where's the real ass dude now? You are a fucking just a cyborg. Hey, look when I was on the road with Dave That's who we got all our stuff from a David Who's you to sit but Dave? A little dish pal. Oh, Dave. Ed almost like name dropper. No, I mean I ate them. They work Why don't you try some of these? I think these are gonna work because he actually he had the guy come down to the show and he's coast east coasted dam. Yeah

he actually brought a bunch of stuff down for Lewis. I again I'm putting nothing for me because I want to thank the people real quick too who sent in the you guys listen you guys who sent in the the Rice Krispie treats Kelly yeah and what else. I don't know I'm gonna get the name of you I don't know who sent in the Rice Krispie Treats Kelly? Yeah. And what else? We got, I don't know, I've got to get the name of you. I don't know who sent that in. All right, well, they sent in snacks. Like they sent in two massive bags of chips and rice, big box of Rice Krispie Treats.

Yeah. But I don't know, I know Paul sent us the Rice Krispie Treats. I don't know who sent it. And then we're in the box. I put them in the box, so you're supposed to grab it. It was on the box. Are we eating rice in right now?

Stinks like we just open this box and just eat whatever was in it. We could be dying right now Not us very trusting very trusting I only had half cuz I'm corporate and you're white If you say the other half tastes like we Who sent the head and I want to thank? It's right here man It didn't put a name. That's weird. It's memo R W C I heard dub C. Yeah, I'll give it to you after the show. Oh, you get track them down. Yeah, thank him This is an unbelievable gift and thank you for the weed cookie there Yeah, he gets the fucking interns. He gets the hat. I get shit. I fucking Run this fucking whole show and I get Jack fucking shit. I got nothing

This con this fucking piece of shit soda fucking asshole Good looking fucking. I can't wait to you get fat I can't wait until road time shows up five years from now is dinner here who's on the schedule That's oh shit and you're just a fat weed smoking ass all day with shapero Kim What's up? He's laying anyone? Oh, that's super clean What am I doing just smoking bud? You suck, you know what Bobby what I appreciate everything You suck. You know what Bobby what I appreciate everything

The whole body career get some this podcast just went to shit Jamison I finished it Trust me this doesn't hit yet when it does your That's when the show's thought, bitches. So here's, can I just explain to you? I wanna get into something that really freaked me out, but here's the thing that, this is where I'm at in life right now. I was up all night, trying to get my kid to take a shit

because he's constipated. Is your kid been constipated yet? Got to use the thumb. What? I thought fuck you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Your kid been commons to pay to get he's the thumb what What man? Dan is like this water. There's something water that you give them. I don't got it. That's good I don't get time babies anymore. Did your kid ever get commons to pay the I can't say they cry it sucks Oh, that's all you just leave them. What are you gonna do?

I know hey be a real-ass baby Want to be a real-ass baby. Why don't you be a real-ass baby and take a dump? What I told you, baby? Yeah. Do something, baby. Motivate! Do something. Motivate!

You know, I'm going to get in trouble. You know, she's going to be like, they very loud this episode. Someone is yelling. I had to, so I'm on the internet and they're like, they're like this. You read stuff or you get these videos you type in Constipated and there's a video of a lady literally grabbing her baby's legs a newborn and then mushing his legs over his head almost snapping the kidnap So I'm like I guess you do I fucked I listen I was panicking

video I fuck listen I was panicking So I take my kids day trekking. Yeah, I take my kids down I take little Max's legs little Maximus And I basically I hear Listen all of a sudden comes out like a play-doh maker it comes out but it's it's it's it's not baby shit the way it should be just you know watery

it's actually clay-like it's solid that's it's a it's changing now yeah he's just changing no no no Lewis I called the doctor and he's constipated and that's what happens when you get constipated the shit turns hard and it can't come out I don't agree with this doctor because you know This is cuz you're ghetto doctor What do you gotta do? He gets hot sauce out of his cabinet

Put this in the milk bubble How much you want to bet Dr. Loose Bob, how much do you want to bet? Dr. Loose speaking now. How much do you want to bet that your baby shit never goes back to the way that it was? Now it is thick, a thick, pasty shit. No, I bet that it does. Don't wish that evil upon you. It happens.

Right? Bobby, as your friend, and my LA friend. As your LA friend, I hope your baby shit goes back to normal. A and L, A, B. Yeah. I love her, Tim. This is a real funny episode. And she's getting up because she doesn't know what's funny and not.

She's like, this is kind of, I just thought, no, maybe not. It's like lightning. It's like, it's right. This is funny right now, Rohtam this would be good I like this outfit on rota I mean usually her outfits are they suck. They're like Jesus Christ really Could use a little more clip Hang on we have scissors Ro take the compliment I'm kidding

We have scissors Row take the compliment. I'm kidding Row, row take the compliment normal you'll click a pile of shit now First of all, don't take that first of all I'm gonna fucking take offense to that. This is my Fucking in turn just want one of my best friends. I don't give a fuck you don't talk to her like that She's a young slave not yours. She's a young pretty girl Okay, gorgeous, and she's gonna be soon to be my friends You don't talk to her like that. She's a young, pretty girl. Okay. And she's gonna be soon to be my friend's baby's mama. Oh, damn.

I hope you get a pregnant. Nothing would make me happier than you have an emergency. Because her father's like, now you have to marry her. So now you're on my son-in-law. You're on the right way. Don't even, don't even. You're going to take Rotem, you make a woman from her. You're going to treat her right.

You're going to make a lot of money. No more comedy for you. You come to work with me. You work for me right now. You work at B&H. You work start at photo, SD cards. Another thing, another thing you're running Hebrew immediately. I don't like the way you speak in English. This is an unbelievable thing. This is a great birth code about his penis. He's going to get

a checkup. I was doing it in the morning the first thing. I a guy well but we'd be happy to know I already have a fireman helmet let's do it again there is a little drooping on the right side hey oh yeah we gotta get that we gotta get that mic for her so she can she just needs a word where is that thing get that you're the only Get that Before having sex with my daughter before and after Repote to me the money. Why did you turn fresh? Yeah, fuck it. You just turn Be foot and after you have a second listen to it Listen

So anyways, I want to say Lewis Lewis J Gomez just to touch on that, to close the chapter on that. Unbelieveable real ass dude, I, you change, I'm going to make sure that I stick up for my comic friends like that on the road too, because that, you fucking said, you know, I don't want you compliment, and you need compliments dude. I've never gotten a compliment on my comedy before and I gave that up for you. You need one. You need compliment.

What do you mean? Nobody's come to you after that. And Lua's... Here's the thing too, Lua's fucking killed it. Hold on, shut up everyone. Lua's killed it all weekend. Kelly did great a few shows, a couple shows. She had the first one.

She's always comes in because she's not, she's used to doing fucking eight people at 5.30 You know, she's just there in a school bus door open Now Most of sat at night she did great too and on the nasty show is I give her balls because on the nasty show, I hosted. I pulled the Norton and I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna host. I can't help it. Go out and do 20. And then I go, Kelly, you wanna go up first,

do your 10 in front of me and then kind of start the show, which shows do, you know what I mean? Now we're gonna get it going. She was like, no, I'll go up after you. I was like, hey, you're fucking weirdo. She went up after me and did great. Because we were all like in there, and we heard a laugh, we were like, hey, you're fucking weird, oh. She went up after me and did great. Because we were all like in there, and we heard a laugh, we were like, get the fuck outta here.

I believe it. I believe it. All right. What do you mean, a nasty show here at the salad? No, it's a Fox World comics. Oh, okay. And hold on, Kelly also did great because of some of the great advice

that we gave her throughout the weekend. Wow. Well, that's why Kelly, listen, first of all, that's why Kelly, that's why I bring Kelly on these shows because she needs to do a real fucking show. She needs to be on a big stage with lights a microphone a real crowd that paid Not these fucking nickel chasers in Brooklyn that she's that's gonna fuck her. Yep. That gives you shitty habits We talked her out of the what's that stupid thing you said? At the time she says a punchline. What would you say? Oh yeah!

Yeah! That's my heart! Yeah! Oh yeah! Yeah! Alright, yeah! I wanted to hand myself out the weekend. She turns into the fucking cooling guy.

Oh yeah! You know what? It's fucking Australian Fonsi. It's a crutch too because what she's doing,'s used to not getting that much left after the jokes. So she wants to fill in the time, like the space with more noise. You know what I'm saying? Like it's like, yeah, we do know you say,

Jesus Christ, how do you go from us having fun with it? And then you go on the reason why she does that. It's a science behind it is. Let me break it down. Dr. Lewis, here's a deal. But you, we, I can't get it. It's behind it is let me break it down Here's a deal You know keep going on he does accent good. You don't know you Americans are weird. I can't I don't know what I was gonna say I'm gonna show it but every time I see Australian

I see Australian comics they always they get on and understandistingued politics yeah I don't understand you president I don't I don't understand this character what the fuck how do I know it wasn't going anywhere here's a deal here's a deal Kelly did great we yeah but that's why I bring her so she can learn how to do a real show in front of a real crowd by the end of the weekend just like when she did levity live. She got her feet under her. She knew what to do. It's like ability when you're hosting and you're a girl like the first night she showed up like she shows up some just fucking look a ragamuffin. You know like she's showing up for an open micer and they've been moiky but she the next night she put her she's a pretty girl. She dressed up

She looked good. She'll hop a second. She looked good bad that night. Not the third night Yeah, she should get fine the second. Yeah, she showed do look the third night she pulled it together That's where all came together. That's what she was comfortable with speaking and looking good It sounds like a yeah, it sounds like a John Hughes movie. We had a good time now We had a real good time. We did a lot of vines stupid shit. We had a good time now. We had a real good time. We did a lot of vines, stupid shit. We had a lot of fun. Dude, the tap at once, you told me to watch them.

They're funny. I was dying laughing in my hotel room watching them. Just the... I don't know if it's because I want to choke Kelly. So... But I just like a little... If you look at Lewis' face in these tap out. He is so proud magically

Majestically proud of about the rip kelly's arm off so happy What the hell is tap out? Oh, well, I started I put her in a bunch of submissions or jiu-jitsu submission moves And I can't wait and I have to tap him out so he releases me so I really fuck it I fat thices. I got her a triangle choke like it literally I couldn't do it loose I had no option to do it loose. He had no underwear on and he's broad shorts He just wore in the fucking hot tub He's got Tito a T-shirts with flames on the bottom Oh great

Really? I said have this Question my neck in between his fat thighs I like a Philly's balls on my back of my neck First of all, they were literally directly at your throat So anyways, um, yeah, we had a great time we had a great time and Until Kelly we we got the these beautiful posters made. Oh, she didn't we got these beautiful posters made that you know from the great uh... comic book artist howard porter kelly right uh... he's unbelievable he he looked us up

he's a famous marvel at us he did a lot of star comic book out of season is unbelievable and he made this post a first where is it kelly let me see it uh... and uh... you guys all can get one today if you want artist from marvel comets yeah the way you see what he did for those. I had these made up and we had him at the show. Let's see. Look at this man. Oh, come on.

That is awesome. Yeah, how cool is that? So, and you know, we had a, we had a, yeah, you get one. Hello, Frank. I'm taking one too. We actually got back the German comic comic book artists made the old one This is the new one. I love both of them. They're unbelievable. We love that you guys did this. Thank you so much

How it but we Kelly all she had to do All right Kelly take these away from these guys. So it's like they're paying a bill at a fucking comedy show I didn't tell you to break out. I told them not to do that. I told the do at the end. She fucking hands everybody a fucking By the way, get her away. Why get her away from me. Why what are you a fucking lion? Look at the way she's sitting next to her. What are you? What the hell are you talking about if I could smell her? I'm gonna do it Rote time look at me walk over to the right Yeah, no go near Greer either. You'll get your pregnant. Look at him.

She's already pregnant. That's a half I'm not a threat No, no, no, I'm in with you. We're not you know we're threat if she was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I'll tell you what I got a lot of game these days a lot of games. What kind of game? I'm telling you I'm not basketball You got a lot of women approach you have had a lot of significant like legitimate offers. No, you have it I have no you have a girlfriend and I haven't taken them the offers up But I'm telling you having this girlfriend's given me all kinds of confidence and women are going crazy for me I don't like that. I feel like I'm doing a sketch on fucking mad TV. I have a lot of office and they're coming to me

Prefold and I haven't taken them up yet, but it's true. I'm telling you the women are I feel like I could get her I have so much confidence. Hi, let me let me hang on stuff. What's that? Stop right there. Let me let me take care of this for you right now Hang on stop one second stop right there. Let me let me take care of this for you right now Rotem I want you to just I want you want answer with I want you would you hook up with him? See I told you wrote him would you hook up with Danny? She loves I want you to fucking listen to me. Bobby. Let me do it. Go ahead. Hey, Rootem. Oh, she won't even answer the fucking sweet Dan. Rootem?

I'm thinking about leaving my baby for Rootem. I'm telling you, I've got so much mojo these days. Rootem, I want you to... Listen to me, you gotta talk it on the microphone. You talking on the mic. She's a scared animal. Just to get her to ride her, Dan. Talk it on the mic.

Listen right there. Get straight there. Listen to me. Everybody shut the fuck up. God. Time to audience it. Oh shit. Wait, time out. Why is that not working?

Rotem, do you want to use my mic? Ah. You know what? Go use Dan's mic. Go over to Dan's mic. Well, there's a mic in the middle between me and Danny. You know, I just want to say that you don't have to be pressured by these apps. Talkin' to Kelly's mic real quick.

Listen, Rotem, Rotem. Listen, honestly, God. I want you to say that you don't have to be pressured by these apps. Talkin' to Kelly's mic real quick. You don't listen. Rotem. Rotem. Listen, honestly, God. I want you to answer honestly. This is part of being on this show. If you're gonna be involved, we're sitting there burying our souls. Yeah. If you're gonna be around, you're gonna be honest.

And you don't have a problem being honest. It's why I like you. You got spunk. We're gonna ask you a check. You got spunk, kid. I want you to tell me. I'll give her some spunk. Out of all I hear.

I'm sorry. Here's how we do it You're ready. We're gonna go in order of guys that you would go out with all right first guy first guy on your list Obviously, who would you go out with first? Are you shitting me? You better be one of your fucker then I'm done with her. I'm done. I'm done I'm done. I'm not doing it because she's true to her values. She knows she likes me She doesn't want to go in the air. That's not true. That's a lie That's exactly why you shouldn't like her. You're the pressure that you guys tried to put on her to say she wouldn't like me I don't like I'll put some pressure on her. I'm done. I'm done. We'll move it. I'm done with it I'm done with it. We'll move it on

We'll move it on first of all what happened at this weekend Kelly was in charge of the shut up. Kelly was in charge of the merchandise, like we did before. Yeah. And earning her keep. Yeah, so at the end of the weekend, we sold a lot of stuff.

I don't wanna get into it. I'm not gonna get into it. We had a lot of stuff. And I told Kelly just to mark down, because we had different deals. Everything for 30 or everything for 20, everything, you know, one, this for 10, this for 15. And the week she's fucking in the bathroom, okay Kelly,

Lewis come on in, I wanna, you know, do the money. She hands me a fucking one, yeah, she's just freaking out. I'm like, I'm like, what the fuck is this? Then she shows me a piece of paper in a book. It is... It's illegible? He in a book it is illegible he brought it tell me you brought it dude tell me you brought the fucking paper and I really do like your bad backwood bookkeeping dude if you don't have it I'm gonna be really upset out back bookkeeping I'm not that happy because I was so angry it looked like a

shitty game of tic-tac of TikTok toe over and over. I put three scratches on the thing. We tell it to add it up, I go, I tell you, add it up. She goes, oh, what she does? So we're doing the math. It's like, we should add $30,000. With her fucking add it up. I had 365. I mean, it's like literally like just no order just scratch

And then I look like a crazy person was keeping track of their days in jail And then I look and it just says free would slash just like nine It's like what the I go Kelly what the fuck is this? You know that she starts rounding her shoulders. Mm, mm, mm. Like, she, she looked like my kid trying to take a ship. Mm, mm, mm. Just so she could just grab her leg to put them over her head.

But, the money would just shoot out of her ass. Oh, there, she couldn't, she's not, she gives us another, I go, just make that make sense. So she, she tells us again He does the math. It's like again like fucking 10 grand right so then she's just starts it starts falling apart You see she's about to well up. I'm like there's no crying You can't quit. There's you can't be a woman right now. You need to be a fucking adult. This is my business This is my fucking business.

And she's just fucking, I'm like, you know what, I literally had to go fuck it. Give me that piece of paper because I want to hold on to it to remember what a fucking moron you are. And I just sit here, just everybody take, split it up here, there you go. And that was a part of it.

And that was a part of it. And that was a part of it. And that was a part of it. And that was a part of it. And that was a part of it. And that was a part of it. And that was a part of it. And that was a part of it. And that was a part of it. And take that money and put it in my pocket and walk away It's supposed to what I suppose are getting the money. He should have got if she didn't fucking blow Yeah, stole he could say stole Kelly stole from the

Australian She stole the money. It's fine. You know I didn't do that. You can't trust them. What do you mean? Australia? She's on the phone. It's a word of criminals. You can't trust them. What do you mean? Australian? She's on the phone. It's a word of criminals. You can't trust these people That Lewis walks in the room and she's on the phone like I'm taking everything Just I fucking real my show. There's a You know, it's really easy. Bobby just Bobby's a sucker I don't know if I start crying

He gave me the same voice I gotta be I'd be like a dozen hours ago. He doesn't know, he doesn't know I'm a celebrity in Australia. I have billions of dollars. I don't know this, Donald Australia. This dumb f**k, this stagg, this stagg, you told me to be likable. What did that character I used to do on TV? That was bad, it's the end of comedy.

I did it on stage, it's the end of comedy. I did it on stage. He got stuck by it. And he pays me. Oh, fucking can't. He made $30,000. I gave him $365. And the fat fuck gave me a hundred back.

How does that? How does that? How does that? He actually gave, I stow on the the pain me to do Oh, the best one of all this this Kelly's actually upset, but she had a tell road tenders are taping behind me laughing everyone I'm like you should get out. Roadcam doesn't want to do any of this. She is supposed to be around Dan. That's it.

Well, no she doesn't, because we gave her an option to rate the related. Pally, she doesn't want to rate it. And I'm not joking, this isn't a silly, hokies catch. They really did just make me fuck it. I'm telling you that if I wasn't in a committed relationship, I've already connected with roadtam right

You think so She's gave you ahead know you would do it. All right, so what's the truth? So then so then apparently I don't like that you're doing that and you know I was gonna yell at you dance So you taught you said it in the micro What are you doing? He's gonna be mad cuz you guys have a side suck it Fuck it look it. There's a guy sucking a wooden dick, and you're not recording that Dude that in the hood turn around turn around. That's not the right way.

At first. Oh. It's break at least, Tath. Hey, Greer, you can do that in the hood. No, you can't. Oh, you can do that in prison. You can do that in prison. Yeah, prison, you can do that.

Why is it okay to not be gay in the hood? But then as soon as you go to jail, you can suck dick and it's all right. Well, that's usually the weaker guy. Yeah. Yeah Would Louis be would Louis get his dick sucked. It would be a dick sucked We get blown all day by a corporate dude like this I mean wait you can promise me a couple cigarettes and no ass rapids Would you suck dick in prison if you had to Is it a choice between sucking dick and getting right? Yes, yeah, I do it. So you'd suck dick in prison if you had to? Is it a choice between sucking dick and getting raped?

Yes, yeah, I do. So you'd suck dick first? Yeah, before I get fucked in the ass. Really? No, I would buy the dick off. Wait a second, wait a second, Wait, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, wait a, wait a second, wait a, wait a, wait a, wait a, wait a That's the choice. Hang on. Hang on. If you're gonna put me into a position where you gotta stick your dick in my mouth and I don't wanna do this shit. But you have any? I'm gonna leave you up your peon cutting that white national off. Can I ask you a question though? You're just gonna make it worse because you're gonna have to keep biting dick soft.

And eventually they'll be like, I don't think you want that guy to stick your dick. He would be like, that's how you get pregnant in prison. Here, hang on. Greer would be walking around prison with like a necklace with dogs that he did off just try it up Dig Looking at the toughest dude. Yo, you want your dick set? I think so this guy thought he was tough This guy thought he was tough He's right now in firmer it would be different colors. Yeah, I mean different colors I call me the mollus

He's He's right up front right as the toughest guy in the prison. He would I'm trying to tell a joke right now. I'm not cuz fucking Dan gets into one of his bits and he won't stop I know what we get it we laughed He was guilty of it, too. Huh? You love the throw on Lewis. I love it. Hi. No, I did that on purpose nice. Here's a thing though. Here's what happened with We had a great weekend barring the theft of all the money You know, I had to go by formula and I didn't have any I don't know I hope you I hope you're good Kelly. Hope you're rent this pay for the next three months

Ocean's 14 sorry Kelly. Do you think they Kelly Kelly stole I don't think she stole I think that she I'm asking you I'm asking you seriously. No, you think she's done. I think that Kelly. I truly do believe that Kelly accidentally pocketed do believe that Kelly accidentally pocketed subbed up how much probably quite like it it was like maybe four or 20s like 80 bucks like any of it you didn't know that was a guilty watch now because you know what she did she gambled

she was 80 bucks in like fucking two minutes like that of my money well here's the thing when you gamble because I've been there when you gamble and you haven't gambled it a long time and you lose that money that much money that quick it's like I'm gonna get this back eighty bucks to hers like fucking you know like a thousand to Danny you know they may be me yeah you think she's that much richer than me no I think you all that much richer than her. No, but yeah, he's right, you said it.

Oh, did I? Yeah, you said it wrong. I said it wrong. So 80 bucks here is like fucking 10 cents to you. I'm sorry, I fucked up. Thank you for correcting me. I didn't bother you, I realized you had for admittedment. Thanks, man.

Um, so, I mean, when you have money in your pocket, and then you don't, and then you do, I mean, when you have money and you pocket, and then you don't, and then you do, I mean, no way. No, I always had to, did she get a taste for the life? I don't know, all I heard was I lost all this money, I'm done, and then I call Lewis, and he's like, Kelly's at the table right now. It's like, what?

I thought she was done. Did you know apparently, who saw her lose the money? And then I saw her lose it, but she's not the people because I gave her more money back. Because that was money you owed me. So you guys are running off me. Don't get aggressive, mother fuck. Oh, I've been waiting for this one. Oh, Australian. Hang on. Did you see that? But I see she's getting defensive. All right. I'm going to have to get aggressive. By listen, guilty tone to her voice that she's doing that. Oh, anything now. I don't like it.

It's hard to level your voice because it's raspy and low and then loud at the same time. It's weird. It's a weird. I'm working on those vocals, Lucy. Yeah, so she's going to LA. M-m-m looking at a calorie anymore. That's not true. Now look look I left I was it was weird. I mean look I expect it's not that hard Friday night one show. How many of this do we sell? How many do we have? Right. Your market

down Saturday night first show. We sold this many. You know what I mean? It's pretty easy. So what it's not a big deal. Saturday's second show. We sold this many. You know what I mean? It's pretty easy. So it's not a pretty, it's not a big deal. Saddi second show. I mean, it's pretty easy. It's not, I'm not dang cook. I'm not selling fucking nine hats, a fucking USB port with a Sufi on it. And you know, 12 T shirts and a hoodie. All right. So here's the thing. So here's the thing. At the end, you should have pretty good records. We're not selling that much, but it's just you know here Here's what we sold tonight. Here's what we sold last night. Here's what we sold this show and that's it And this is how much money it should all just immediately just go one two three boom boom boom. It all makes sense

Kelly, where do you think it went wrong? I know where it went because I didn't I didn't Separate the nights and then certain nights we sold things at different prices. I didn't separate what prices they were. So it was less. We also did the math and we decided that. The math wasn't right. But let me tell you, if everything was sold at the bare minimum, which it wasn't, we still would have made $100 more dollars. We still lose literally. And then there was a moment where there was like the money. This was happening here, here, here, and here. And there was a moment where I was talking about what was happening here, here, and here.

Like someone was going, can I give you this, can try and give me money. And then Lewis was like, Kelly got over here, I need you. And then this is very hard to follow. Well, I just said there was a lot of things going on. I remember, and then I hadn't put down what I'd sold, because I was over here, because I had the note pad over there. Where's the hurt you're holding? I'm going to tell you what, and then in my brain.

We're going to try, Bob. We're going to do a trial. A trial. I call a trial of Kelly for Stilka. Who is going to represent Kelly for Stilka? I'll be the honorable judge. All right, who's? I'm the judge. I'm the judge.

I can't be that, I just like, I call bailant. All right, I'll represent it. I don't believe in my call bailant. I have a position in relationship with the defendant. Hang on, hang on. We're going the way to the museum. I'll defend this. Korea Barnes is going to be Kelly's lawyer.

Thank you, baby. Lewis, Lewis, where are you going to go to? You're going to be me and Lewis's lawyer and you're gonna be the judge then Cuz you're corporate Look he gets to back you're gonna be the lawyer Bob the lawyer of the judge. All right, you know what he looks like a judge You can be the lawyer can be the bailiff process. Oh, you're you need a lawyer. You're gonna be the lawyer Why can't?

Greer and I be the jury why can't you just shut you up and Lewis's prosecution and us three are the jury and you're the judge You know why? My face is on the podcast I'm the judge in real life and I order you to Where the jury no You're my joy you're my lawyer I don't want your life I'm a brabable judge you're you're gonna present our case to and you're gonna present Kelly's case

I don't want a prosecutor shut up personal You're my baby boy Seven years ago. Listen to me. Oh, no All right, go ahead. Go ahead judge. I would like to hear you here. You presenting the honorable judge Big boy LaBelle Thank you everybody for coming Everybody stand in, try it. Everybody stand. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah What is that is this a criminal case or is this the fucking There will be no speaking out of turn in my call sit down. This is civil

Civil civil so we can't she there's she has the pass back Well, just what are we showing her for I don't know real fucking Puerto Rican that's been to trial about We have that striker from the record. I do not want to talk to my client that way That's triggered from the record. I do not want him talking to my client that way I forgot the Same side and he isn't put a rig and that's been the core before Hey cypher in cypher Bobby cypher. Yes, no that shit. Oh, okay, man. I ran. I'm sorry We got to paint her as a fugitive from another country. Yes, who's got a deep deep love All right, all right, let's do this. All right. Let's go. You go on, come on, you're on a sale.

In the case, in the case of Kelly, the stuka, versus the YKW, the YKW, D, Asshole, podcast, podcast, and the people. In the amount of money stolen, how much are we looking at? We're proskept, we don't know yet. A lot of money. Thousands thousands due to calculations of my clients It looks to be around $210 That's I think that's a fair both my clients agree. Yes, I agree. I agree. I'm

Excuse me Can you please get your client on the truck? She sees fine We have we have a whole other thing We're going with we think the money was stolen We believe the money was stolen by Louis J. Gomez. Oh I needed Oh, I need an I need thank you. This is out of here. He was distracting her as she was working. I Anybody else see her at the crap table? Hold on. No, Mr. Gomez and he was when he said I was at the crap's table That's right. Mr. Gomez, please state your ethnicity for the courtroom

Yeah, I don't like the whispering. Yeah, why do you want me the whispering on your podcast? Actually, my client is brought to the Yeah, what are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you?

What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you?

What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you?

What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? What are you? I agree. Yes. My client's a real ass dude. Real ass dude. I can, I have, I have, I have witness that. I'm not willing to do that. I'd like to hear your honest, your honest. To the testimony that he is a real ass dude. It's already been declared.

Yes, it's no. It's in the now. I'll go with it. Real ass dude. Will the court allow me, in defense, to ask a real ass dude, which we all know, if you straight, a straight up answer. Yes, the court will allow.

If he's, Lewis, did you steal the money? Never okay? I believe it. I believe it. There we go. That lays the rest. So I now back to the prosecution I believe one Kelly for stucco. We don't even know if that's a real name We don't have boats or American what non-American you know what if a stuc means I'm illegal. You know what I think it means? You don't want case I'm building I'm gonna make it mean hang on I'm gonna steal your money the court has heard you and shit on you shoe That's what it means there you go and in Italian for still go means It's not your money should in you should Bob should we be sitting there for three tens that you paid her $100 to steal the original

210 oh boy. Oh Guys, this is the sloppiest trial in the world I'm trying to run a tight ship here Yes, take your action I'm trying to run a tight ship You're like a rich bus monitor nobody ever sped it you just turned into a boat captain wait did you guys have the crazy guy the bus stop? Are you judging your trial? It's like a race trolley me

All right here we go order order order It's like a race troll in between. All right, here we go. Order, order, order. It's for Stuka. Yeah. If that is your name. How do you explain the missing funds and the testimony of a real ass dude who stated it wasn't him?

Hmm. Well, I was not not I will remind you God what you say I just know that throughout the weekend that Lewis did a lot of gambling Yeah, that is true. I didn't I I'm gonna be a part. I'm gonna be neutral in this because I am the party who was harmed and I will I will say this is that Lewis did, every time a song he had a beer in his hand. The honorable judge would like to point out she's getting kind of choked up.

No, you were batting your eyes a lot there. No, that's what I did to be adorable. You are. Yeah, that's it. Apparently it works on you, you asshole. Yeah. It's some Jewish tit, so some fucking works on you, you asshole. Yeah. It's some Jewish tit, so some fucking eyelashes batten.

You're done. I'm dance with this devil several times, you know. And it's a son of a bitch. There's two us, two us, a son of a boy. It's just good fun loving son of a boy. That's right. She's a devil. She is the goddamn devil.

Well, she's not American. Well, that brings me to my follow-up question for the defense. Yes. And that is, who's on the stand right now? I don't know what's happening. What is happening? I'm not going through my williner on the right,

I will not seek by. Thank you. What are you saying about the rails, man? It's fucked. All right. We need to call a witness to the stand. All right, phone. If foreigner go ahead Hey, she understand. Yes, I'm a stand. That's the question Is she swearing explain shut up to the courtroom? We start trying to make it a real court how with all the evidence

Pointed against you the evidence of asking Lewis the one question. No ever asking the evidence of asking Lewis the one question. No one ever asking. Can I ask, Judge, can I ask questions? Can I ask a question to Kelly for Steelers Lawyer, Mr. Greer Barnes? Of course. Mr. Greer Barnes. Your client has been accused of stealing my money.

Your client has been accused of misrepresenting the show that she's on that she is a part of your client has been accused right of Thevery theory disrespect disrespect Whispering Whispering Into a black man's ear here. Um, and I was like a, a power, you're about to read. Was waiting. And I want to know, I want to know, I want to know, was my client selling your merchandise? Yes. Okay. And what was my client receiving for selling your merchandise? An equal, an equal

share. Yes. And this merchandise was sold at how much? I love that's that's not how much merchandise was there to be sold. I don't know. But that was whoa so can I ask you question? Can I ask you a silly can I have had 500 garments or pieces there? Yes, no whisper in a mug and you only sold yes hang on let them talk let them talk. How many how many you don't even know how much you had there? I don't you know for instance I could have been 50 pieces there and she sold all 50 pieces.

So in actuality, you probably didn't lose any money if you care. Can I ask a question? Can I say something, Your Honor? Absolutely. I will allow it. Can I say something? Please.

I want to say something right now. Part of her responsibility, and she knows this. Part of her responsibility is to count the merchandise. To know, to know, hang on, hang on. To know, no, no, I'm speaking. I ask for permission. Yeah, that's true. Let my type of friend continue.

To know, like last time when she sold, at Leavety Live, we've been through this. How was there? We went through this horse shit charade. Horse shit charade. At a mall and fucking niac. That's right, the worst place. Where I had the merch and I told her she knows how to sell it.

She knows what she needs to do and how to keep track. And this was all done to perfection under my tutelage of merch selling and at the end of the weekend we all came out winners winners, I say and this weekend we all came out losers so we can safely say this particular weekend was the only loss We cannot we don't know if it's a loss. Yeah, we don't know if it's a game. All right, you're honest. I'm going ahead bad I have to say that's beautiful. I wholeheartedly say to the court that yes, I am in the wrong because I did not Yeah Justice Stuka versus mr. Kelly and the you know what do podcasts yes on account

Get down account of pleading guilty and guilty for having a Negro Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I will now be suing the loyal because like all right items are still entering the gates. Listen to me. Listen, there we go. A fellow lawyer, one that's undefeated in court.

Am I that? Yes. You're just saying that you, we don't bring up race, man. We're just lawyers. We're just arguing cases. We're just handed the courses and I just want to say I'm real happy for my clients. Lewis and Bobby.

Dan. How they sleep better tonight and I want to. I don't want to disappoint But I ended the character like I can never make a difference Dan can't Dan sometimes can't come as like Jonathan winters They really can't come out something gonna find him in a fucking in a shitty old tower of him Montana going Well monster boy when when anybody want the peanut That's Jonathan winter he does great voices you come back to New York We got a spot for you Los J. Go as you can keep that fucking seat warm

Can you do my voice though? If I practice we all can do your voice I wish I was there. Where can you do my voice though? If I practice. We all can do your voice. Hello, Shaggle. Oh, I'm stupid. I'm like a gorilla.

Hello. I want to record. I want to record. I want to record. All right, so here's a deal. So then after this all fiasco happened, we had a great time though. You know, it was awesome.

It was awesome. We had a great time. It was experience. Yeah. Once again, Bobby, thank you very much. I love you buddy It was great. I had a Kelly DeGrey Lewis DeGrey. We had fun there on the day. We had good times at night We worked out. Yeah, we worked it. He got me back in a workout. We worked out Friday and Saturday this idiot I told him I got a bad knee dude. You can do lunges. No, I can't you can do it hurt my knee But anyways, I work I'm working out with Lewis every day now

We worked out today This is the problem. This is the problem. We're at the gym today We're at the gym today and and he fucking It's my gym. It's on 49th and Times Square. It's a nice person's gym. This fucking prisoner It's first of all it's a sports course hang on this prisoner shut up. Don't talk over me. It's a nice person's gym. This fucking prisoner, first of all, it's a sports club. Hang on, this prisoner's shut up. Don't talk over me. It's a shadow of a fuck up. It's not a nice person's gym.

It's not a Nico Knots. Yes. I'll turn this mic down. Listen, here's a deal. Yeah, there you go. Here's a deal. This cocksucker starts doing pushups in the hallway. We're like, nine gay like have to step over this fucking

Samoan and I'm sorry I gotta take Lewis's side. He's such a show off. Hey, you're just a real ass dude way to go to the gym. I got to warm up. Are you guys using this hallway? Yeah, I'm sorry you guys are walking when you could be lifting yourself. Why are you taking the stairs?

You should be sliding down the banister. That's not true, Bob. I was right in front of the... Hey, you know what? Yeah, I know. It's called comedy, fuck face. I'm exaggerating the truth. Therein lies the ha ha.

Wow, look at that look on this face. You know what just happened? Yeah, that's like, eh, I'll push him off away, look baby. Oh! I wanna know what happened, so no. Kelly's trying to, can I kind of attack? I'm getting it. Kelly's not supposed to hurt me. I got this podcast shit. I got it. Sorry. Here's a deal. Here's a deal. These two fucking animals. Now I'm I got a lot of shit going on. I'm my I I have my baby my my family. We're having a big thing on Sunday. I

Was the first time I slept at a month. It was crazy. I got to do the shows, you family, we're having a big thing on Sunday. I was the first time I slept at a month. It was crazy. I got to do the shows. So anyways, I leave these assholes to themselves. Kelly's got to do a bunch of shit. Lewis is going to give her a ride home. Lewis is friendly. He's got every ride home. I got to call from Lewis. Look at me. And this is mad Lewis. This, you know, look at man, this is Mad Lewis and then there's fucking Mad Lewis. There's, I don't, I'm fucking really, I don't get it. On a scale from him being a real ass dude to the guy after the show. Yeah. How? He's, he's not, I don't know who this guy is called me. This guy is fucking, dude, what the

fuck? And apparently, and I don't know the details totally because I was like, look, save it. Because I, you know, I love Kelly, I love Lewis. I just want to know what the fuck? And apparently, and I don't know the details totally, because I was like, look, save it. Because I love Kelly, I love Lewis. I just wanna know what the fuck happened. But I can totally see, Kelly, you can't forget Kelly's a fucking girl. Okay? I live with one of these things. Okay?

And they can get Moody. They can get. But let me. Lippyppy. And they can get and I know when you come back from a gig, all you want to do is get the fuck to your house and take your shoes off and watch your TV and eat whatever she, all the food she eats. I mean, it's a lot of food. Yeah, just stick her hand in a fluff another jaw. And look at like cotton candy. Hello. Is the parade on TV? Where's my button? This is a giant button jaw. She just sitting there flippin' through your money. I got $80. Kelly's a real fucking babe. I have a bad boot.

I got Scottish babe. So, apparently, so I'm just gonna set you guys up. I'm gonna, Lewis go first and Kelly, you'll go second, because just because you don't really have the gripe, he had the gripe, okay? But you definitely gonna get shot to defend yourself. Now, what time did Lewis call you? Lewis called me, she was still in the car

She was in the car. We were in the city already. So this is like maybe 12 30 at this point Lewis this is what Lewis was he was mad But he didn't understand of what he couldn't understand he was confused mad Which I've never seen from him. He was married guy mad where it's like I don't get it What the fuck why would she do this? Like I'm gonna murder this fucking asshole. Why is she be? I call Bob I said I think the first words out of my mouth was I'm gonna punch Kelly for soup in her jaw Like that was my first words a puncher. So what happened first the first thing that happens first

Oh, she's she she admitted she just She's really she was salty for Kelly you go first Don't mumble through it that I'm going brief So I we come out to the car. Yeah, stop my buddy. Manny drove down that night to hang out You have eyebrow aids by the way. What's what's happening with your eyebrows? So my eyebrows. Oh, they look like they're dying You're wilting eye. You have like... You have like...

There's everything about him looks like it's dying. Wow, you have them all. Jesus Christ. It's time to truth. I have Crohn's disease, thanks. It gets all sensitive. Hi, everybody's laughing at Lewis. He's dying.

Everybody's laughing at Lewis. It's his dying. That's a weird. I was a fucking better one. It was just a dying. Too many beats, too many beats. No, that's not dying. Fucking Dutch song. Oh, I'm happy.

Where is she dying? I didn't even know what a Dutch song means and it was funny. It's like a weird offbeat fucking song. You're offbeat, buddy. I love that the people who hate when I have more than three people on the show, they're gonna fucking hate this one. But go fuck yourself.

Everybody go fuck yourself. Fuck yourself. Cause they talk over each other. We're really loud. Sometimes we scream into the mic. And we don't know how but go Come fuck yourself go a Fuck yourself you can listen to another show that does interview wins with hoes

Go fuck yourself the same with the fuck of Mark Marren motherfucker. Oh shit as corporate Dan. I don't agree with that one, but everything else. Yeah, he's never gonna invite you on Never gonna So just enjoy yourself on this show You can't even get on the nerdest Pete Holmes would tell you to go fucking I don't know what you're sitting. I don't know how you're sitting My favorite thing of this whole thing was listening to her

Try to defend herself the thing happened with the other thing and there was two Be in the different prices different night the guy came in the other one and the thing happened and the money is going I don't know what happened this bitch is a waitress 10 hours a day five days a week and she can't fucking she can't sell four posters can't fucking she can't sell four posters She's acting like I'm Kevin Hartsell and shit after a shot I'm Bob Kelly at Foxwood's with a half-filled room go fuck yourself and most of the people walk by you I have a new there was money coming in the people's hands out of people's hands out. Couldn't have it. I've been out. I have a new compassion.

It was fucking hell. It's all for three times. All the money like this. It was all green. Yeah. It was a hundred hours of show. A big thumble of numbers and letters and papers. I could do the attack you all the time.

Huh? Do the attack you all the time? No, I never. Probably just when she's a thieving Australian. All right, so go ahead. Here we go. So look, here's the next one we get. Oh, wait, really, before you go in there, Amazon.com

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Okay, here's a deal. They're inexpensive headphones. And I'm doing real good. Inexpensive headphones, I haven't slept in two days. Inexpensive headphones. And also, if you go there and use the code word dude, you get 33% off, okay? So now they're even cheaper than they were

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Peddi a chick give a penny a fucking daughter your son for school when it comes back I Was a maybe your neighbor cleaned out his garage and you're surprised with something nice you guys should do it It's important to support the second ever comedy podcast in history You guys should do it. It's important to support the second ever comedy podcast in history Very great announcement. I wanted to thank you very We should add grayer regears voices the shit so soothing. Yeah, it's like a professional We're here. Can you tell people to tweet. A.com get 33% up. I use the code word dude. How do you say it? I shouldn't give you the brownie

Cold word dude. How do you say it? I shouldn't give you the brownie Kelly would you fuck rear? No Because like he's you know he's a comic and you know he's a dude. He's not he's not in my You don't fuck headliner. I said she said I'm not in her realm of fuckable men. What, what, question is Do you have access to bucket spots? That's the real question If you come in me will will I become a middle-er? Let me tell what happened in the morning. I here we go. Yes, do that. So there we go my buddy. Manny come I'm gone. Yeah, he's gone my buddy. Manny comes down the night before and he's just like say he's a big fan of the show He's listening right now and he he he's super excited he's great dude yeah he's great he actually talks like David Blaine which but we're drew out a little bit he actually he's me you know the last video where it looks like it's uh yeah we're Kelly walks in the room and it looks like she's talking to me learning the magic

so uh she's absolutely right you dildo yeah it's the's the video. You know they thought it was magic Bobby They thought it was real fucking it was The fourth wall of acting Lewis the fucking fourth You lose you don't need to yell to get your point across real ass dudes don't need to yell right Unless it's true and many is um it was awesome by the way. He's such a beautiful guy Yeah, so listen so the next one we wake up and he goes to get the car and I meet Bobby and I'm listening. I looked at Ro, I just see if she's okay. You know what?

Well, girls stand for two hours because I yelled at her about she's taking video just dan and her fucking kneeflash out. She can sit on my lap anytime she wants. Yeah, go ahead. Sit in the middle. Come here. Yeah, go ahead. I would highly suggest not to ask.

I can't get sweet ass over here. Right. What are you doing? You put this I put in a meet-down to the lion. Is it a surprise that she'd want to sit right next to me? You know what's going to happen? Danny's right. I tell you what, she's going to melt between these two fatsoes. It's really hot here. Can I move?

No, just Lewis. Lewis, stop doing this. Lewis, stop it. I'm going to get it up. Lewis is being super. You know what I love about Lewis. Okay, now just Lewis stop doing Lewis stop it stop it Lewis is being super you know, it's what I love about Lewis. There's this moment in Lewis Where the anger takes over right before he remembers that it's comedy yeah, and then he's sweet But you see like he's like mad dog in you for like two seconds Yeah, and then like a switch goes off in his head. He's like, oh, yeah, I'm a comedian That's called that's called my father died when I was a boy and my mother died 10 years ago switch

But there is that two seconds of crazy where he will what are you saying Danny that the Lewis gets angry out of nowhere? Supra I Here we go. We'll go. I got to rattle this fucking crazy show But this is a crazy show. I shouldn't let you guys do fucking pot brownies Robert what buddy? I just want to apologize. Yeah for anything What I don't know I'm pretty small pretty smash I used to know those brownies Dude I am smash

Greer huh you said the brownies don't get you high. Hey man What's the name of this show? Called the wide KW show. Call the ride KW. There was a moment. We wake up in the morning, my buddy, Manny goes to the car and Kelly's waiting downstairs with her fucking bags. She got a couple bags. How many bags? She went away for three days. How many bags? She had one big suitcase and then a couple bags with like shit for like the show. Right. The box is I gave you. Kelly,

how much shit did you have? Because I knew you're going to argue this shit later. But I had six bags. Six bags? No, but wait. She's lying. Where were you? Six things to carry. She's lying.

That's very good. She's lying. Well, first of all, one bag is filled with a lot of room. I didn't sit you there to fucking get everybody out of the show. Pay attention to the fucking show. Okay? Because I knew't you can look at that shit later I need your funny right now you're not here because

you're fucking just a great guy shithead right right I know he's trying to prove a point now look at first of all I'm not I have a lot of games it's not gonna happen I'm not fucking I'm a very loyal guy would never let it happen I'm just trying to I'm not letting it happen You I want I can't I can't run around it. Rose gonna fuck Danny. Yeah, I'm not gonna let it It's like big. It's like a biggie and little Kim. You have no idea how many women I've had to turn down lately Roe. I've got too much. Oh Joe. Roe. Let let oh god. That's exactly what happened Let oh

Row let Danny focus on the show. Yeah, don't distract people with you take selfies together What you wanted to take selfies. Yeah, they say no because we have a show to do That's what you're here for you know, stand that you're not here to take selfies you fucking you fucking young girl would stop. I want to take it to yourself. Fuck you. You're really disappointed today. I'm sorry. I need you to get you shit together. The one thing I love about you is that you tell me you're

don't afraid to say anything. And you don't fuck up the show. Today, I was, what do you think? I don't want to say anything. You're just saying, now I'm figuring it. Hey, me for the rest of my life. Go ahead, do it. No one's going to hate you. They're going to respect you. I would never hate you. I don't care if I anything I'm gonna say it now I'm gonna hate you for the rest of my life Do it, no one's gonna hate you, they're gonna respect you, I would never hate you

I don't care if I'm last on the list, put me last I'll be last I don't want to be on the list I'm not gonna be on the list I'm insulted now you asshole I would have been fine being left. I have no married guy. You didn't put...

Fuckin' list! I'm not a fucking list! No, no! I mean, she changed my list. She would have worked at the list that her head. She knows it already. No, please just stay the list. I'm off it, because apparently I'm off it.

But I'm on your back on. I'm on it. Kelly, you're back on. All right, Kelly. You're also on your first. All right, who's who's the last? Just say the last. Just go go be last. No, go and order first the last because who's the last? Okay, Danny's last. Danny's last. Leading the witness. She just tied. She didn't make the whistle. She lead it ahead to you. She fucking went like this with her eyes. That's not true. All right, who's last? The least likely the least the least is the least last least like I don't know Listen, I'm not asking you would be the hardest to fuck That was a good Danny that was a one to a Joe Where would Lewis be it would Lewis be on the list. He's on the but he's in the middle right?

Is he second is he second? I think is he second a third? We know dance number one. We just know we know dance number one dance one out to dad number one Number one dad is sure is is a Greer number two. I love his voice. Oh shit That's he has you'd you to fuck you in the dark What would you say to her in the dark? Hey, just what you've been waiting for oh my god The black guy what's that never been with the black Listen, we're not doing you know what you're right. I'm not I don't want you father listen to this I'm done. We're out of this

No, you don't get to know you don't get to know row with Don I apologize With my daughter on your show She is with the black man. He's number three. I told you to keep it away from cushy I keep it I keep it off the list I Can't I was off the list Rob say the fucking list All right, why do you want to know I want to know cuz I want to know we gotta move on by till day I'll be number one here's a deal and we gonna know you're not gonna be your number two

No, it's he number. He's number two, huh? Yeah, just because I yes Lewis is two greasery you are fucking last Yeah, you are I yes, yes, this is to griers three you are fucking last Yeah, you are last you're so bad You should stop eating I listen You're not a fending anybody it's unfair because you've all pressured her first of all You are pressur, she has to deal with you every week. Oh, yeah.

You're pressured her by sitting next to her so close. She's that next to me. I didn't move over. I sat next to her and I'd be like, I listened to me. Here we go. Sunday morning, Califistuke has some bags. First of all, you had one box of my, one box.

Yes, you did. I had the box of my, so what are the five other things? What are the five other things? I had the bag full of podcast stuff. Okay, that's two things I gave you. Okay, and I had the poster. Three!

Three! Wait a minute, you can't. Hang on a second, you cannot count the fucking poster. You asshole, you could have put that in the bag. No, you can't. No, because it creases too easily and I want the paint to stretch up. You motherfucker, fuck her. The paint doesn't come off of this. First of all, you asshole. It's fucking, it doesn't, I didn't want the paint to stretch off. You motherfucker, the paint doesn't come off of this. First of all, you asshole. It's

fucking, it doesn't, I didn't make that. I didn't paint that myself. I'm not, it's not a work of art shit. But I had to take care of it. I mean, you can take, I got that because you can roll it up and step on it and fucking put it in a bag. Oh, really? I didn't want to. You owe really, you have fucking common sense when you took it off the wall and rolled it up and it didn't fall apart? Maybe that would trigger that, that it's fine. The last thing I wanted to do was to like get a get caught on a Z-File. Listen, I do not accept that.

You could have fucking, you could have rolled that up and put it in the fucking bag. How are you carrying it? Yeah. Like holding it under an arm. That's stupid. She's dumb. That's dumb. She put it under her good teeth. That is, oh.

Oh, wow. That we're off. You know what I'm really doing? You know what? Can I say, we're off her tits, her tits are fine now. She got fat enough to with the other one I actually caught up. So listen.

Thank you. Is the equilibrium balance that? And then I had my suitcase and I had my backpack with my laptop in it and then I had my handbag. Okay, so you had a handbag. You had a suitcase and I had my backpack with my laptop in it and then I had my handbag. Okay, so you had a handbag, you had a suitcase and you had a backpack. So when you travel, you have a pocketbook with all your shit in it. Yeah, like my wallet and stuff like a small bag. Right, and then you have a backpack which that could actually go in.

Right? It's once the two big trucks. Can it go into the backpack? No, it cannoted okay, so what about going into your suitcase could that go into your suitcase? No So you needed six things to carry So fine, but okay, all right, so good Pretty Lewis Lewis, it's how you condensed go. Okay. It doesn't look like she's I didn't walk down We go holy shit Kelly has a fucking circus worth a shit with her

No, it was like it was a normal it was a normal thing Ryancast.com has twelve of the greatest podcasts that you can possibly listen to make sure you go to ryecast.com for all your podcasts needs Ryecast join the riot Hammer fisting You know what Lewis you're really just a ruiner. That's all all you do you're a fucking gorilla in a room full of bamboo There was that moment again where he was like that glare went over his Second the shark eyes room of bamboo See it to my face. So are you really like my eyes?

Here we go I'm drifting towards Kelly's side. Hang on a second. She only likes you because you're particularly kinkong. I am also drifting towards Kelly's side. Shut the fuck up, let me finish. Every time I try to tell the story, you know what I mean? I'm sorry, go ahead. Shut up.

Go ahead, tell a good story. Go ahead. Kelly. I like Kelly's side. I'm actually going to Kelly's side, too. We're. Kelly. Oh, I like Kelly. I'm actually going to Kelly's side too. We're starting. It's starting to squint. Yeah, you know what, Kelly, take his money.

Well, that's bullshit. I know. So she give Bob his money back to him. But my money is just a thing. You should keep that back. You should keep that back. And give me my 40 back. I will.

All right, go ahead. So I walk out and I'm like, uh, and I will win for my buddy, Mny and Kelly's like you are like this Duh I'm gonna go I'm gonna go get his rank and I'm like I'm like all right Well, you pick me up an apple juice. She's a girl. All right She goes in and then she comes back out like 15 minutes later my buddy man is already there 15 minutes later She comes out with one apple juice in her hand and I'm like where's my apple juice? She's like she's's like, oh,

they wouldn't, they wouldn't break $100. Sorry, my, it was my idea to get apple juice. She wanted to get water or whatever the fuck she would get to get. I put the idea to get apple juice in her mind, which is just kind of fucked up. Just in general, she's kind of fucked up. We're in a casino. So the fact that they won't break a hundred, you can't figure out how to break a hundred. It's just insane. You literally can I just say something? They have machines all over casinos that you can walk up to and it breaks bills into 20s. Yeah.

And they can't take hundreds because they know they're in a fucking casino. Right. And they, yeah, it's not the bodega on fucking 127th Street. Yeah, that's not a different, I don't have back I'm not a hundred. I have not.

I'm not doing that. There's one thing they specialize in, it's not a mevrenade. I don't have back I'm One thing they specialize in Breaking hundreds we're another window breaking hundreds And you know what the window next to me is they break hundreds They break the 20s that we broke from the hundreds they pretty much have a fucking bank everywhere. Right, so, wait a minute, how can you get free apple juice in a casino? Well, no, it's a bottle, we're leaving. Don't take it down that road. You're fucking cheap, right?

Can I? No, wait, no, wait. Let me finish the point. Hang on, let him go first, then you go, Kelly. So, I'm swaying back to Lou. So, I was like, well, I was like, why would it shoot? She was like, oh, well, you know, that was, that's like, that's just so fucked up that he was like, why would she, she was like, oh, you know what, that's like, that's just so fucked up.

That he was like, she was, she wasn't gonna get apple juice. He's saying, give me that. She's coming back with apple juice. It says, go fuck yourself. That is so much. Where are they? Hang on, stop. Hold on, hold on.

Hang on. But hold on, what a friend would do is go, oh, you know what, oh, but, yeah. Yeah, but not a friend with you, because you have fucking diseases. Maybe. Yeah, your lips are different colors. So she's like,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you're one of the bottom ones purple, the other ones white sometimes.

You got shit in the corner of your mouth, your tongue is fucking dry, you miss, we're still looking at my mouth. You dehydrated lip fucking asshole. I'll say that, I mean that was the, that was the first thing that happened. Never that, and set the tone for the road trip home.

So I let her, I would let her rebut that point, if she would like. Go ahead, Kelly, rebut that point as Lewis put it rebut. Okay, so the night before Lewis is like, I'm getting a wake up call at eight, leaving at eight thirty, I'm like cool. I get a call from Lewis at 25 past eight going I just wake up and I'm like well I'm ready you tell me be ready I'm ready right now to leave because he had to get out of there because he was moving that they are these important details because it's we're leading up to it right so then I didn't hear anything from anyone so I thought I'm gonna downstairs. Lewis, Lewis, Lewis, you could talk after. Make a note. I told you make notes,

make notes for him. I have to shut up. You can make a note for these afterwards. I told my tolerate a 30. She just went down there. This is that important to the Apple juice story at all. Go on. Go on. What happened? You did call me and say, oh, I'm going to get my shit together. She left. So, no, no, no. So I'd like, we said we're leaving 830. I didn't hear from anyone. So about 10 to no, no, no, so it like we said we're leaving 830. I didn't hear from anyone. So about 10 to 9, I went downstairs and I thought, I don't wait it outside in the car park

for either one of those guys to arrive. So I knew that you would. Say car park again, I'm gonna hit you with this car park. And instead of calling, I was saying, hey, when are you guys coming? Right. Show them, she was, she was tortured

because she just left like a weird. Hang on, wait. Wait, wait. I saw many in the hallway and he's like great. You hear I'm grabbing the car I'll be 10 minutes. I said great. I'll wait for you downstairs Right you both say great great. Yeah, okay, great great great great great Right to the tiger show up absolutely great So I waited downstairs. I know my stuff. I needed a drink because I'm drunk and I ate nothing

I needed one, but I didn't want to eat it enough Please, please hang on shit. Don't ever correct anybody on saying a word correctly to drink because I drank and ate nothing. I needed one but I didn't want to wave my stuff. Drunken or it, you get nothing? Please, please. Hang on, don't ever correct anybody on saying a word correctly. Have her. Or I will shut the fucking show off right now. I will hit end on this podcast if you ever correct anybody

on how to say something correctly. She's being manipulated, painting this picture of this poor girl who's dehydrated and hungry. No. And a casino. Like, like, there's nothing anywhere. Dessert for days. Danny, I tell my story with Hint and Play.

One last time. I had an eating a drink in a once. I was having Hint and Play. I was walking through the app back for a week and a half. I was sweating. I didn't know what I'd a when my next drink would come All right, all right Kelly Kelly When when when when Lewis you have an eaten nothing you have an eaten in hours

Yeah, you have a you have more than one nothing so when Lewis comes in I said I'm gonna get a good drink He goes can you get me an apple juice and I said sure I up, the only place I could buy one from was like a small shitty little kiosk thing. Why do you need options? Yeah, why do you need to do that thing with your shoulders too? I don't understand. She's in English. Right.

I only had one place where I could buy it. That was your place I was open. She wouldn't, I gave her a hundred, I had two apple juice, and she said, I can't break that. I can't break that. Yeah, it's funny though, she is. Danny is right.

She's, she's in one place where she could buy apple juice. Most, there's funny though. She is Danny's right. She's Shilion one place where she could buy Apple juice most people think Don't even know what Apple juice is Never seen never seen an apple There was an apple juice draft that had been going on for some time The leckels pointed me to the only place that was rumored to still have Legend was like didn't break bills. I just so I just so we're going to another universe. On body just we stopped laughing and looked down and then he went back to laughing

where'd you go man. Alright alright alright alright alright here's the back of it. I want to see these guys. Alright, so here I am, these hundred and thirsty girl. Alright, so, alright, so Kelly got it. She found the only spot. Yeah, she wouldn't change the world now. You want to break out those cookies by the way? No. You want them?

Yeah, is that for you? Yeah, I don't want it. You don't want it? I don't like, wait. Alright, you guys want that cookie? Yeah, break the cookie out. I'm fine. You, you, you, you, you're good?

I'm good man. Yeah, I'm good man. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.. Oh, but I'm actually was fucking priceless. Leave some in the bag. I'll take some high with me and have some when I get high. Oh, Kelly, you should just take it. Just take it. Oh, no, I don't want that. Leave some in the bag for Kelly. I'm fine. Louis, give me a lot. Oh, Kelly, they're going to eat it.

No, that's all right. I don't want to have it in public. I only like to wait in high. Put some in the bag for Kelly. Greer, are you good? I'm in public. Yeah, I'm good. Oh, that's so good.

Talk to me in microphone. What? You turn my shit off. I'll go, yeah. Yeah, let's talk to me in microphone. What? You turn my shit off. I'll go, man. Oh, there you go. All right, then. What the fuck happened in microphone?

Oh, no. There you go. It went down. What the fuck? You know why, could you get a really talking to these? Is that what it is? See, you hear it now?

Oh, yeah. All right, let's go. All right, look, so she wouldn't let me change it. Now, I am the reason why I didn't go into the casino and get the money changes because I knew that they were waiting for me and I didn't want to hold anyone up. So when I came down, I had one apple juice, then Lewis reacted the way he reacted. And I said, well, we'll work out that. I just imagined Lewis swinging on Kelly.

That's a Lewis reaction. Like, oh, you got one apple juice. And he jumps nine steps ahead. And he's like, oh, you got a Kelly. My dad is dead. And he throws a blow. Look me in the eyes, Kelly. I went through my purse and found enough quarters and dimes to pay for what I was going nine steps ahead. Where he's like, oh, you got a killing? My dad is dead. And he throws a blow. Look me in the eyes, killer.

I went through my purse and found enough quarters and dimes to pay for one so we could both have one. First of all, it's a lot because you had $4 in cash that I saw. So you know what that foot? You know what that money came from? For me. The dishonest thing with money once again.

That I saw. I saw it a guy on the phone. Kelly, wait, I want to know something is please be honest with me is that true what did you have four dollars and cash I Will choose Open It's huge How much do you have with juice? How much do you have with the list? How much do you have?

I'm just holding time out. I'm just moving. So I have enough money to find one. You're arguing with a different point right now. Hang on, stop, stop, stop. You can't scream over everybody. Because you understand, we can fucking hear you here, but they can't understand you at home, Kelly.

I know you're getting fucked up. Listen, here's a deal. I'm gonna try to, you have your chance. So you admit that you had once. But a second ago, you just said you were going through pennies. What were we doing? Yeah, because I won a... That was Roachem, that wasn't you ever.

Because I've had enough money to buy a lucid ring. Don't stop them from having a single shilling, Tim, on name. That was a Jewish joke, I have nothing on that. Well, well, well, well, well. The whole thing, you guys, I think, well. Family Jews can only make Jew jokes, but... That was the end, it was a weird sound. Wait, Sam, could I come through?

I'm just gonna make sure nothing stops on the computer. Maybe it might be a battery dying? Yeah. Oh, no. Okay. No, wait no. So the reason why I was going through is because I wanted to buy you one. What about it?

I was looking for more money so I could afford it. It was a separate point, you're a liar. So. Okay, so here's the deal. What we know so far. Can I just stop? For the listeners at home and for the people here in studio, what we know so far can I just stop for the listeners at home and for the people here in studio What we know so far is that Lewis Lewis had asked Kelly

Made it look like she had a million things But she just has no common sense enough to put stuff in stuff in stuff. She just carried six things instead of carrying three things She made it into six things I'm sure she would have she would have carried her change in her hand and ones in the other and things on her. So now, so she goes downstairs with all her stuff. Now she's downstairs. Louis says to her, I would like an apple juice Kelly and she says, I'll get you one mate with the cheery little fucking Australian accent and she goes upstairs and she finds the only place in fucking the tip of Southern Connecticut

or wherever the fuck fucks with this. You don't sell that here. Where they have apple juice. She walks for miles and miles and miles and almost doesn't make it. But then she finds the hot. It's a hot inside of a luxury casino. And she finds she gets one of the most popular. Just to be honest. I it about to give up hope?

I found out that there was head juice available after scrunching through my purse Feed money fillings whatever I could find scrape together out of the so Coenage that I was jingling around in my pocket. So I can burns there So anyways, she goes she goes and takes the money out of her pocket. She goes in and digs change out because she flips by the hundreds that she had. That's a problem. That's always a problem. They wouldn't break a hundred.

I'm sorry, you had hundreds. I couldn't have any of this. I couldn't have made up all the money I had in my purse. The puppy would have known i'd stolen from him she flips i think it's different ways she flip by the ones and goes in and gets the change colondry her laundry back

she buys herself who know apple juice one how much was the apple juice can i ask was it one something i asked her this i want to say she lies again i don't know i think i think i think it was like an i three fifty three fifty three fifty for an hour and i think that's expensive okay three fifty for an apple juice

she comes downstairs with which was that actually makes it better for the hundred dollar case because you're giving less change out i if someone says no they're not going to take a hundred and i don't know what the fuck i would have done if they said no and it could see your real I love you just made Dan mad All right, listen here we go so now you come you come downstairs with one apple juice now Lewis immediate is like oh she got me my apple juice Not even I just assumed that she's a piece of shit And I said Kelly why do you only have one apple juice who would do? Who would come down with the exact drink that somebody else asked for? By the way, when Kelly started off her version of the story,

she said, oh, there was so much more to the story than that. There wasn't. She just told the longer version of the story. She just told the events that preceded the story. That's all the same. I was in my room. I woke up. My eyes opened. I looked at the clock. Well I was born in Australia. I turned you down because you scream. I have to keep leveling you out. Let me hear you. Hi hey. See what the fuck is that? No. It sounds like the beginning of robot chicken. Maybe. Maybe Lewis's mic isn't gonna work for him now and my case is dismissed That would be fantastic. All right, so here we go. So now you she comes down So you get in the car you have do you yell at her? I didn't yell. I wasn't even shitting that I was just busting balls about it

But case Dude what the fuck is that? I don't know what you're gonna stop. That's whatever dude. I'm'm trying alright. Sorry. I thought I came to a professional podcast Guys and I have to put up with this maybe I started busing Kelly's balls in the car and I'm doing the same shit I'm saying you know about you know about the way you do it everybody. Yeah, of course. I fuck you faggot You go that's not what I do. I. You make me sound like a meathead. You are a meathead. What did you make me sound like? So go ahead, we gotta get through this quick.

We literally have fucking ten minutes. Hammer fishing at seven. I know, let's go. I got a baby at home at fucking eight. Let's do this. All right. Can we just fucking hurry? Can we just let's get stoned. Who is the name of that? I can't even breathe. Damn, eyes are fucking beating. Where is it?

I don't do edibles well. All right, for the here's the dead end. I just had it with every breath. Dad, open your eyes. I gotta stop. Listen, no more drugs to my show. Okay, Lewis goes, the drugs go. I got fucking every, Danny's fading.

My main go to fucking voice guy has been staring at the microphone like it's a cupcake. 10 minutes, Greer keeps going into another universe. No, this guy's so annoying. Oh, yes, this is for you. Listen to this. You ever see what it looks like? This is for you. And the other one's it's gonna shit together. I Is this drug addict from fucking night hack Louis J

Bobby That's right You little thing We do Bobby don't forget it So look I'm busting her balls on the right. Well, look, who's with you, Bobby? Don't forget it. Don't forget it, Nick's gonna need someone to tell you. So tell him for sure. So tell him for sure. Tell him for sure.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. with it. Are you talking about the show? I'm getting I can't help it. I don't like that she put her hair up for you Dan. Why is it for me? I'm kidding. It's for me.

She thinks it's helping me. Danny? Danny's got game. Actually I think you know I actually have a connection. Lewis is just really creeping it up. All right let's go. Come on. Come on. Come on. Let's go Lewis. We got a go man. Do down Let's get Lewis we gotta go man Set no we don't I have to wrap shit up I got it up so long story short Robert no busting bulls in the cat about that would use for a while Sorry, but I just I was like I was engaging in it like I wasn't being honest I was just like all right and he's like oh you know, no, no kind of person you are because he's what you do without But you started doing all that so he talked He talked like a monkey. Yeah, I'm not any But then the situation

What about this? And then we went to sleep and then we woke up while we slept with Lewis. No, I went to bed We you went to bed with Lewis Napt and then we woke up in New York loose becoming pale Some type of Why are you going pale? She's just trying to Listen stop out here we go shut the fuck up Lewis go go so we're driving home and

I'm moving that day I'm fucking moving all right not in real time, but just tell the story. I'm moving out of an apartment We get it and you're moving to another city my buddy my friend man He was nice enough to come to fucking Connecticut pick us up and drive us home right I Asked him because he's my friend. Yeah, can you drive me to home depot this is the same story? Yeah, yeah, yeah Stay coming home. Yep, go ahead. Can you drive me to Home Depot? Yeah, so I keep pick up boxes and then drop me off at home. Right. So then Kelly asks him She's like, oh, I mean, can you can you draw me down to the comedy seller?

Can somebody do the accident for him because he's Drawing me down to the comedy seller and drop to drop off this stuff and then drop me stuff down the private department I'm gonna drop me to my apartment hang on let's hear dance dance You could translate then I'll give you her lines and you could translate so she asked him Can you drive me to tell her to drop some stuff off and then drive me home afterwards? Is it man? Lock it up. Yeah, don't many the company sell it so I can drop off my stuff and then guys drive me home Man, I'm like the nicest guy. Yeah, and a fan of the show. Yeah, he just says yes immediately right now

I'm in my head already kind of going like that's a little bit much like why doesn't she just take a taxi home from the comedy salad. Right. That's what I would offer to do. I'd say, I have to show them off the comedy. Cause you're a real last two. I'm real last two. That's enough. Right. That's enough for you. So she's a girl. She's got 16 bags. She00 dollars Water cash So a lot of shit so either we get into the city then we realize that the the gay parade the pride parade is going on So it's a nightmare. It's impossible to get you some what's up my fucking god damn it I have my my open house this weekend for my apartment I'm not yeah, yeah, they forgot it was the parade. Just fucking four people stopped by.

Just where you going? Where you moving? I'm moving up. Move it on up. I don't know yet. I want to move up to Westchester. Don't say that. I do, man.

Oh, her. You're going to, you're going to, you're going to, you're going to, you're going to, you're going to move next to Matt Arise. No, I'm not going to move next to a boring podcast. So much better. So is that. Maybe we could fix each other's. Maybe we could fix each other.

Maybe we could fix each other's roofs. So we get in and we drive. We're driving. Holding your head at it, you're freaking me out. So we drive, we're driving on the west side on 23rd Street. And it's chaos. It takes us like 15, 20 minutes just to get across 5th Avenue. That's right.

Yeah, at that point, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, like Kelly should really be, can I say what Kelly's doing inside? What? She's like, fuck, it's really be, can I say what Kelly's doing inside? What? She's like, fuck, it's really gonna be hard for me to get home now. To get, I'm not gonna get a cab. I have all these boxes. They, it would be so, I know it's a pain in the ass for him,

but it'd be easier for everybody if I could just get a ride to the cellar, I'll run the fuck up, and then I'll run home. That's what she's thinking. What she should be thinking if she had common sense, but she really doesn't know offense. She should have been like, I'll just bring everything to my house. Can you please just drop me home and I'll have I'll take the stuff back to the studio. Right. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Go ahead. But she doesn't do that. And I'm

like annoyed at that point. Bob. A shot up Lewis. Okay, go ahead. All I do is, here's the board. This is what really got to me that I pissed me off. She was like, she was like, oh, you know, she was like, you know, he stoned. He's forgetting this story. She's like, you know, those boxes are going to be really big. So, you know, maybe you should just drop me off first and then come up and pick your boxes afterwards And in my head I'm going like Kelly don't play me like I'm not done. I'm not a fucking idiot You know what can you stop? We get that it's in your head if you're talking to yourself

So you don't have to keep someone in my head. Yeah, you don't have to bring it No, I said I don't want to go in your head. I said that into the rear view mirror They've come back in my head. I'll never get out. Yeah, you're gonna freak girl out of you So let me say in my head one more time. I'm going to be on my cool process All right, so So she plays that shit and I'm like I'm like Kelly I'm on fucking dumb don't don't like actually could doing me a favor by going down to drop you off. Drop off the comments. Go to the west side, go back to the east side.

Then go all the way to the west side again. I got a fucking move. You know what I'm saying? I got a, you're doing her a favor. And we're doing you a fucking thing. You could have said, hey, no room, take the bus. Like I said, take a taxi home from my apartment. Right.

But of course, I just felt bad for my buddy in general. But when she pulled that shit out, that's when it really started pissing me off. I was like, all right, so then we're sitting in the traffic for a while, and then I say, all right, well, let me make a suggestion, she wants to get out first. So I say, what I would've said,

if I was what I would've done in the beginning, I say, Kelly, why don't we drop you off at the comedy seller now before I go to Home Depot, and then you could take a cab from there. And she starts getting like pissy and weird And she's like no if you do that I mean it's gonna take longer because you have to wait for me to like bring these six things up and you know As you know, this is for the show. So if you don't want to do anything for the show and she starts saying that

Yes, about me That's some that's some girl shit right there. Yeah, that's some shit shit. That's not real as dude white to you here What he says to me later. Okay, well, whoa. Oh, I like you. Hurry up, hurry up, we get through it. You're getting some shit. Oh, Kelly's got some dirt.

Just a motherfucker. If it has to do with me, I'm gonna smack you a fucking face right now. Good afternoon, good afternoon, good afternoon, good afternoon, good afternoon, good afternoon. All right, all right, all right, all right, listen. So that's when I got pissed off, and that's when it just turned into this whole thing.

Kim Rowe, can you please stop getting less and less clothes on whatever you're doing Your pre-hair goes up your shirts going up your sleeves are up put a put a blanket over her Put a blanket over her go ahead God lose you creep Hurry up pass me a wall my mouth getting to drive the story so long. Kelly, can you give me an apple juice? So whatever, that's one we finally got over to Home Depot. Yeah, I called you.

We found out to Home Depot and I went, and that's when I said I'm fucking furious. Which made me furious because you're inside actually talking to somebody about boxes while talking to me. So all of a sudden he's in middle of conversation. I'm giving him advice. He's like, what do I pay for this? What the fuck?

What the fuck? I'm gonna do leave. I'm just gonna fucking walk out. I'm gonna steal the. He's like, what do I pay for this? What the fuck? What the fuck? I'm gonna leave I'm just gonna fucking walk out and steal the box. Oh my god god. I didn't fuck I need this shit I'm gonna go ahead. So yeah, that's it. That's it That's it. Thank you. Thank you Kelly for getting me a water. What what the fuck what I mean that was we just argued about that a bunch She was just wrong. That was a terrible payoff Whatever it wasn't even a pale. Kelly what did he say? It was like they were words stop. That was it. Stop.

All dropping it off. Because all I asked him I was like, all right if you want to drop me off and this is before we really knew gay pride was going to fuck us up. I was like if you want to drop me off of the cellar I said just wait for me to bring the shit up to the studio. So because my staff is going to be on the side of the road. Right. You know, just wait and he was, we got furious when I suggested that. No, that's you're an idiot, okay?

This is the problem, Kelly. That's what you got. You were in arguing the same point. I'm not waiting for you. She's not true, I didn't say that at all. You're actually lying now. You're a fucking liar. And I want to fuck a bunch of you in the drawer.

That's the end of the, end of the, end of the, end of the. That's where I felt like it all got No, you're gonna ask you to wait You're so hard to argue in that point, you start to go, no, if you wanted to just drop me off on the side of the road My Kelly, what are you talking about? I just offered you the option to get dropped off of the cellar first I don't even want to do that, hold on, I want to go and get my shit and then go home I just go in there and offer you that because you seem like you wanted to leave You were getting impatient

Yeah, okay No, fuck off Yeah, everybody's high in the room. Okay Just getting so aggressive. I just I think it was a big Communicate because I can see where he's coming from. I don't know my point of view and they don't meet She kept on making the stizz with total argument about me dropping off on the side of the road I'm like tell you we're not arguing the same thing First of all, the side of the road is in like fucking Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. The side of the road in Manhattan is like on one of the most holy shit streets ever anywhere.

I mean, you can get a cab, a bike, you can fucking a petty cab. You can have somebody on a bike actually take you to where you wanna go. She's just scammy, bro. That's all it is. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha of the podcast scammy broad my only point was that I was like Like like I want to leave my bag in my suitcase in the car. Well, I come up drop the stuff off right and then I'll come down get my stuff You leave I'll get a cab here's a deal. This is what I want to know what he said Kelly

Oh, he said he goes now. He said to me. He goes now. I know what everyone thinks you're an asshole. Yeah, cuz you are I'll stand by that Who thinks Kelly's an asshole dance odor? Oh, I think Kelly's an asshole Joe. Oh shit. No damn wants to know something your barns That upset me when he said that I was like who says I'm an asshole who's like yeah That's a good and then he wouldn't yeah, dude. That's a dick. I said that's not real as dude And I said I said you can tell me, they're gonna think someone else, so people don't know what being around me, I'm like, didn't you tell me right now?

No, tell me, you took it too far. No, you did, you asshole. You said, that's some, my wife did that shit to me last weekend. Now I know. You do this, you do this all the time. And I was like, tell me one of the fucking time. You do this every time, she said. I was like, are you out of the fucking time. You do this every time, she said.

I was like, are you out of your mind? People use every all, everyone, that's some bullshit. Unless it's real. But does everybody think she's an asshole? I do. Is that it? Yes. Well, here's the deal.

That's definitely her. Kelly, he's lying, because I do think you're an asshole. I've been quite vocal about it on that set. No way. That was the fucking, that's the deal Kelly. He's lying because I do think you're an asshole. I've been quite vocal about it I was the fucking that was the worst thing so that hurt your feelings did I went home and cried good to the way he said what the fuck So see I never do Should grow a fucking pair stop being an asshole and then you know what you won't be called an asshole That's it. It's simple. I'm glad your son is gonna have a good life. No, no I'm not gonna apologize. I'm gonna tell you something kid don't be an asshole and people will call you an asshole

Apologize for anything her reacting that way to her being an asshole and me literally just fucking I'm gonna deal with a fucking dickhead for an afternoon She's waiting man. Stop. I should know us is she an asshole and me literally just fucking I'm gonna deal with a fucking dickhead for an afternoon. She's a minute stop. I should know us is she an asshole ticket. She's in ass dick. But I will tell you this by. He's an ass dick. An ass dick. Hey, Bubby, I'll tell you this. I'm a pass. I will say this though later on a day I said him a text message apology. I think saying really sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Right. And then the next day I said him another message. No side talking. She told me she moved over more towards me It doesn't matter. Just nod your head fucking ass. All you don't need to you trust up to I made the right move. Yeah, well fucking tell her that later. I was happening. He's gross. Yeah This is this is not going this is not us. I will not allow this. I won't allow this.

I've got a girlfriend. Shut up. Anyway, so I sent him two messages saying, I'm sorry, blah, blah. And he hasn't responded. He went, he went, we'll get back to you. Attention today about the show. Can I say something, Kelly?

First of all, I've never mentioned this before. I've been, can I say something? I've been in that position. At the end of the weekend, you're supposed to be taking a bus or whatever the fuck someone offers you your ride. And then you get scared. You get panicky because you like, do fuck.

They're not gonna drop me off at my house. I would just love to go home right now. I got all this shit. I just want to go home. I got a bunch of shit to do. And you like, maybe. And then it starts getting manipulated. And then I was suddenly hit traffic.

Fuck. I'm not gonna get. Now I'm definitely definitely gonna drop off in the middle of nowhere and then then at the parade and she's gonna drop the shit off I've been where she's at where you try to manipulate your way what's good for me is good, okay? It's not that she's an asshole. That's the way everybody is. That's the way you wash What's good for you is good if that wasn't your friend And it was her friend you'd try to go look and you please take me here. I understand that I Understand that you would have done that she didn't know any better. That's why you should have said hey Well dropping you off here. That's it. I'll help you will help you with the bags

I would have obviously helped her with the bags up. There's no debate about that. She keeps on saying that I said I would help her Shut the fuck up. Here pressure me to sit on his lap. Listen. I would have obviously helped her with the bags up. There's none of the bait about that she keeps on saying that I said I would help her shut the fuck up I'm here pressure me to sit on his lap. Listen. I would knock it off Knock it off and you knock it off to please statinus. She's giving him listen the googly eyes Listen, you're gonna sit in the fucking pedestrian chairs. How you want? Want that? Sit on the arm of the pedestrian chair like a fucking puppet? You want to go be a video puppet over there?

Yeah, yeah, stop your pressure if you're only one person stop you're not All right, so I understand where Kelly's at I get it I get it I've been there, but I also been where you're at, where like, bitch, have some fucking gratitude. You're getting a ride home. I'd get dropped off in fucking Spanish Harlem if that's the case, because you could have took the bus. He could have said, go fuck yourself. I got shit to do. I've had guys do that to me.

I've had guys going back to the city, say no. I'm not giving you a ride. I got to stop in my sisters. Yeah, but your sister lives next to me. Like literally, I'll walk from your sisters. I've had guys do that. So I understand your paranoia. I understand your fucking bullshit

because you get some, you know, in your brain, some girl manipulating you and that infuriates you because your mother passed away and didn't love you the way you should have loved. And your father never taught you how to be a man. It's going deep. You know what, if you own me memory that I have my father,

it was him wrestling with me on a bed. Oh, but, well, I don't, I don't, I don't know if I want to, I don't know if I want to. You blocked that on the rest. That makes me sad, dude. You know that, that makes me fucking sad. I really am sad brother. That makes me sad, but here's the thing.

When you go to LA, I don't want you to take this anger with you because this shit ain't gonna fly out there. I'm gonna tell you one thing I learned in LA, they don't want you to be fucking a real ass dude. They want you to be a fake ass dude. Nobody wants to deal with the reality of how phony they are because they just, they have to be phony. That's it.

So you go and out there, the one thing I learned, when I left, I actually said, this is what made me, I was at a party and a guy introduced himself to me for the fifth time. And I went, you know me, mother, if I know you, you know me. That's my rule. If I know, because I suck at knowing people's faces.

If I know you, you know me, mother fucker. I am not I suck at knowing people's faces if I know you you know me mother fucker I am not gonna do this acting scene with you again I'm doing Robert hey man good to see you the guy was treated for dementia He was an accident three months ago Some bad accident with brain damage so Bobby's like everybody's fake here So anyways so dude listen Lewis, get off your phone. My kid. Oh well good for him.

It's my fucking studio. Shut your face, my show's not over. I'm saying, I'm telling you, so put your phone down. Put your phone down. It's down. Down. What I'm saying to you is this, learn from this. You're not gonna be able to,

some broad who's all fucking moody and Weirded out she worked all weekend. She had an emotional week. She got caught stealing the night before and You know she wants to go home too You dropped her off for the house. She worked it out. You're the captain of the ship at that point You're the dad. You're the fucking guy He has to delegate responsibility and do the right thing You're not the guy who gets to go fucking shut the fuck up. You're the fucking guy who has to delegate responsibility and do the right thing. You're not the guy who gets to go fucking shut the fuck up. You're the guy who goes, hey, this is what we'll do.

Okay? You understand that? You understand that? That's it. You're the dad. Yes. You're the dad now. You are the father.

You're the grandfather. No, I'm the dad of my life. And I'm, I'm, I'm, you understand? Yeah. You're the fucking guy now. So learn how to fucking be a man. You're a real ass dude, but can you be a man? And what I wanna say to Dan,

you're gonna get high on the show again. Never. No, because you literally just shut down. I've never seen you listen. I'm listening to my life intently. I'm listening to you, but like intently. I'm real on board with listening. By the way, huge fan of the episode. Real big fan of you.

Real bonds. What's up brother? You're so fucking eye. I just want you to listen to this shit don't work. When you said, Bust, when the brownies, that shit don't get you high. I've never seen you. Dude, I've never you're mouth most hurt Your dimples have been dented since fucking we start hour one

Danny you're fucking I love you buddy. Thanks you stepping up. I love you too Rotem. I hope you learn a couple things today. Stop fucking stop stop flirting You're I like you limits.. Stop flirting. You're, I like you. This is off limits. I love her. You're not. If I have a few. Hi, we're gonna plug everybody's everything.

Kelly, listen. Yes, ma'am. You take that money and you buy something that. Cause you deserve it. I have to ride stuff like a lady. And I'm gonna get you self a car. How do you know I took a two-file like, cause we argued and I,

like I don't even say the word apologize. It's It's an empty out. I'm really sorry. There's one thing I Never want to follow us ever. If there's one thing you can do and I Learn this is if you can apologize and own your own shit if you can Just say look I did this and I apologize everybody fucking hates Everybody but if you can go back and go look then I fucked up That was a little tired blah blah blah and then you can go all right I get you me too Then you move the fuck on., I get you, me too.

Then you move the fuck on. That's what you do. We're comics, we're broken toys. That's what you fucking do. So there you go. So here's the deal. I wanna thank you guys all for coming on. It was a great show.

Greer Barnes, what do you got? I'm writing a book. No shit, what about? Stand up, come on. Will you come back on, would just me and you and do a one-on-one? We can talk about it Yeah, I love it. You got a website or something? Not yet, and I'm also putting together a I can old school album. No shit. Yeah, love it. Yeah, I love it one of the funniest guys in the business

Where are you on Twitter or anything? Yeah, I want Twitter. What is it? Grih Barnes won and yeah, Grih Barnes won the yeah, yeah, yeah, just number one nice check him out Make sure yeah, and if you see him. He's always at the comedy seller. He's always around the city If you get if you ever if you ever get a chance to see Grihabarans Please check him out We got Kelly for Stuka. What do you have? Oh? Actually got rebooked to come back to Foxwoods. When? This is great. Second of August.

See that. It's great. Thank you, Bobby. It's the best. Thank you so. Yeah, but you saw. I wouldn't have gone there. I know. You haven't even mentioned that. So I could take with me.

I know. I guarantee she's selling my merch. Or there's a coffee kit with the money she stole hidden at Foxwoods. She has had a back in there. She's had Howard Porter make it just a comic of her. I hate these five months. Lewis you would have got another club. You're gonna have to go hustle at a coffee shop in Santa Monica. I'll see you there. I'll see you there. I'll be serving the coffee. It's an ethnic show. He's like oh, I'll be doing this Kelly but still goes on an ethnic show that Fox would you jackass?

You missed you could have opened for me comes from a con you could open for me I would have paid you to train me I would have took you on the row with me and you could have been working in Fox But you're going to LA to start over shit there. And you're gonna be a star, big, butt shining star. Yeah, that's what you got. That's what they need in L.A. Another dark skin, fucking asshole, ha ha ha, without an accent. Bobby Gunn is sold in by L.A.,

and now he's just gonna make everybody else who goes there, feel terrible. You know you're moving back. Yeah, eventually. Yeah, no shit. You know shit here, that I can... Wow, let's not get... You're gonna be forced back.

I'm not gonna be forced back. Yeah, you are. You're gonna get a nice hot I'm not gonna be forced back. Yeah, you are. You're gonna get a nice hot one back here. What are you talking about? You know what I'm talking about. I got an Eric Revivement. I have a compound in LA. I've got two apartments, one over the other.

I'm doing better. You have a lot of pounds in LA. He said apartments. Really? Compounds. Compounds that he's like. Oh, okay. That was okay.

That was okay. I was okay, but you fucking, you two happy yet. Also, I have a lot of pounds in New York too. It doesn't work. Dan stand shoulder. What do you got? At Twitter at the All right listen Can you send weed light next? Yeah, that was great Here's the deal if you guys want to send us anything, anybody on the show, please go to 676A, 9th Ave, 676A, 9th Ave, number 424,

New York, New York, 1036, is the address where you can send anybody on the show, myself included, a gift or whatever. You guys have sent snacks, you send food, t-shirts, clothes, all kinds of great stuff. We will announce it on the air. Please put your name in there. Put a note who it's to and and put your name so we can promote you guys on the air. We really appreciate you guys fucking up to show with fucking animals and getting soda on awesome hat and me. Stugats.

Stugats. Me ante. Are you're last? I'm saving you for last year. Fucking nitpicker relax. an awesome hat and me, stugats. Stugats, stugats. That's me, ain't they. You're last. I'm saving you for last year. Fucking nitpicker relax. I forgot me. How could I forget you fucking blocking Rotem? All right, go ahead, Lewis.

What do you got besides a future in LA? Follow me on Twitter at Lewis.j.com. I was going to my new website, realastdude.com. And we're going to get real last new t-shirts, by the way. Yeah, we are getting real last new t-shirts. but we are getting real-ass new t-shirts. Yeah, so there you go. I'll let you know when they come out. And that's out.

Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, oh, when is this coming out? I don't know you, and I might put this out next Monday. This is a hot one. If this comes out Monday, come out tomorrow. My buddy Dave Smith is doing his breakout, Caroline's headlining thing, and I'm featuring, and it's one of my last shows in New York, I'm doing bunch of new shit if you haven't been seen me in a while so.

Yeah and if it had it doesn't come up one day don't go to that show. That's show stunk. Alright so here we go um Rotem you got nothing. Just something. Did you have fun tonight? You had a good time? Alright alright well um everybody wants a picture of Rotem by the way. They're like will show us. I feel creepy. Yeah All right, Danny. What do you got buddy? I'm at the Yonkers

Casino. It's I think it's called the Empire Empire. Empire Casino. I did it. You had line in I don't know. I'm there I love it. I don't even know. I'm there on the third and that's the album. Dude, you're not that skinny. Look at his album coverage. It's based on a real photo. He's got a new album out. It's called Danny LeBel, some kind of comedian. Where can you get this? And it's off of actually a label that I'm on, my first album, Robert Kelly Live, which I produced myself with Kurt Iverson my web guy it is on stand-up records yeah which i'm a fan of and you can get on standupbreakers.com you can get on iTunes amazon.com and if you can you know what killed two birds

who want to know go to our link on ryecast.com amazon link on ryecast and buy this cd i have it chip to you or get the digital version danie is one of the funniest guys out there danie's a funny guy but he's one of the most creative people out there i love people start something from nothing who have don't get the opportunities but make them that aren't on the fast track like dan sona but make it happen so uh... on the fast track like Dan Sona, but make it happen. So, um, yeah, point to Dan.

I'm stoned. You didn't hear a weird. I love that you love all my speeches today. I'm too late. He's so into what I'm saying. He's like, man, that's real. That's real tall. I'm like, you know what?

Yeah, man. What's that Amazon.com? I like it. So make sure. So make sure. Make sure. Make sure. Make sure. What's that Amazon the com so make sure So make sure make sure You can use freaky marina on do the pink just do ping pong the ping pong bit

Here we go. Can you do what do you ping pong bit? Let's do it do it! Shhh! He's melted so dry! His tongue's sticking to the top of his fucking mouth! Grib Bond man, so funny man! This is a fucking great episode. Thanks for tuning in. Make sure you get Danny LeBel's CD. What else you got?

I was just going to say that there's a, I thank you to Bobby Kelly in the inside of this album. As a shipman, one of the dudes who's always looked out for me and taught me a lot in comedy. Good, well, you know what, dude? I love you guys. I love the younger guys.

I love, you know, like, Greer, you're one of my, I'm old, dude. No, you're one of mine. You're being you and the same fucking. I like seeing, like I said, you guys are all great to me All the guys I have on the show and I love that the fans are loving you guys. I love that they're sending you guys stuff

I love that they're actually Appreciating you and showing up at your shows and buying your stuff the best thing you can do for us We do the show for free every week But the best thing you do is support our live comedy buy our CDs show up at the gigs and tell us you you heard it on YKW. Yeah. There's a couple that came out. I know I'm super stoked.

There's a great couple of them. So the that came out Jason and Ronnie. Great. Great. They're on level. Yeah. We went out and got some food and I'm very high. Thank you for the edible.

This feels like a nap nightmare. All right. So here you go. At Danny Little Bell ons. This feels like a nap nightmare. All right, so here you go. At Danny Little Bell on Twitter. At Danny Little Bell on Twitter, make sure you check it out. Lewis, you know what I'm saying? And me, Robert Kelly, at Robert Kelly on Twitter, Robert Kelly Live, for all my dates, make sure you check me out.

I'm going to be a Just For Laughs for two weeks. I'm doing the nasty show. I'm doing the YKWD podcast. I just confirmed Colin Quinn. So we'll put that. He's going to be on nasty show. I'm doing the YKWD podcast. I just confirmed Colin Quinn. So look for that. He's gonna be on the show. He's also doing the speech, the keynote speech. Yeah, up there.

So that's great. He goes, what am I gonna do? Say no. I'm the Godfather of your child. You're one of my good friends. I'd love to say no, but I can't. So I'll be there. I can't do it, buddy.

But I'm also doing, this just came, I'm doing one of the gala's. Gala free hosting. But I'm also doing, this just came I'm doing one of the galas, gofrey hosting, and I'm also doing Dane Cook's gala. Oh, yeah. It's just gonna be huge. And then I'm, shut up Lewis. How do you, we say that now you're gonna need him out in LA, that's all.

Take it back. Thank you, I love him. There you go. Which I'm excited about, me and Gary Gullman, and I have my one hour show up there called Cry Like A Man. So make sure you see it. I have two shows.

I love it. Thanks buddy. I have two shows up there. Two one hour shows. Small theater, but I really would love to pack those shows out if I can. So if you're gonna come see me up there, go sell out those shows.

Spread the word to my own one man show, justfulafs.com. I love it. I can't wait to go. It's fucking camp for comics. You guys are the best. You know what? DEE!

Make sure you check out all the other podcasts on riotcast.com. We put this shit together. The hottest, the greatest, the funniest, the most interesting podcast network on the East Coast. Motherfuckers. Riotcast. join the Riot. Thank you for all the donations you guys have given us. Unbelievable, really appreciate it.

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all this stuff helps us do this, because you know, all this shit comes out of my pocket, not Kelly's They shouldn't have pockets if she did they'd be too tight couldn't even put a nickel in there. Why am I getting mean? That's awful I'm gonna hold tell room and Buffalo by myself Fucking crazy You know what's here? I think you stink, stink, stink You know what's here?

I'm fucking, fucking the bottom line You know what's here? I'm just fucking, a little bit more. Con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com you you you you you you you you you