Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Show Us Your Boobs

Episode Date: January 19, 2015

Robert is joined by Erik 'EROK' Nagel, Luis J Gomez, Yannis Pappas, Mike Finoia, Alia Janine, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable, 33 grados. You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Hey kids, it's Nick DePolo. I got a new special out called Another Senseless Killing. You got to love it. Here's a couple clips. You can get it at NickZip.com. And you guys in your 20s, you're so spoiled. You don't even know what bad point is. You have no fucking idea. I'm 51 years old. You know the first thing I'm masturbated to, and this is gonna go true, the Indian on the Lando Lakes Butterbox. The Indian Butterbox.

The Indian Butterbox. The Indian Butterbox. The Indian Butterbox. If that's true, more people are dying from obesity, than starvation. We're gonna have to change those late-night commercials, you see, you know, the little ones, or the African kids sitting in the desert,

or the bowl of rice in front of him flies all over his face. Gonna have to replace him with a 400-pound green-bait Packers fan sitting in his recliner with a pile of chicken wings on his lap, barbecue sauce, and his hair. But just 20 cents a day, you can buy this fat fucking treadmill. And for just eight bucks, you can have that special. Go to nikdip.com. Thanks for your support, kids, and thanks for listening to the podcast. Hello, girl.

Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet Earth. That was trying to keep it like a comic head. I have a bunch of guys on it. It's just us sitting down. Yeah. And sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's intense. No topics.

No direction. I love doing it. This podcast has no rules. Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already sent to their record. It's rubber killing. You know what, dude? You know what, dude?

I know what, dude. I guess unbite casted. I can't do it. I'm tied. The problem is dead. Alright. Alright. Alright. We're live.

Skopos. I mean, um, I we're live. We're back. Fuckin' everybody's late. Everybody's a fuckin' twat. Let's go. You need my password? Yeah.

Alright, let me see. Hey, hey, go buddy. Donate that thing. Alright. We're, uh, well you're at the donut then? No, I was saying I. Donate time. Hey. Where, uh, well, you're at the donut then? No, I was saying about your password. Yeah. Well, that was funny.

All right. The only one that's not late is surprisingly the fucking, the guy who's not on the show all the time. You even know his name? Yeah, Mike. The guy. The guy. But no, you're sorry.

Mike is not on the show all the time. That's why I was here at the end of the. Yeah, well, you know it is it's a Familiarity breeds contempt. Hey, I'm sorry. I was raised right. That's right. I was here 301 301 I was that's not on time. I was here exactly three o'clock I'd like to point out look at that's not on time when you have to be similar three o'clock You got to be like five minutes early ten minutes early what I took 240 Yeah, when's the way. Eric, you're late, but this is your first time.

You're late because of Adrian, I would imagine. Well, we were working. And I've never been here, so I didn't know how to get here. Right. Well, I blame him because he knows how to get here. Okay. So he should know that how I want people here, so he should know that you need to be here. Bobby, he should be like, Bobby really is panicking about this.

He should over an hour. Good, he he should panic okay but but somebody's turned into a Nazi since I've been gone but don't don't first well don't say that word post this post one hour jacket on just taking charge the fucking jizz did listen it's not it's not about that it's about you used to be on time all the time I had to get something to eat before i got here you have you never been late he has to get some not late yes he's been honest he has to eat for ponos he's been three people that's actually funny wow that is that is a good one

um alright well listen i just i don't't like late. It's a pet peeve. Well, we don't all have motorcycles to just zip here too. Sorry, Fonsey. I have a Honda Pilot. I don't know, I have a motorcycle one longer. You're like in a German sex room somewhere. You should have stopped on motorcycle. Yeah, I should have stopped right there.

Fonsey, thank you. Actually, Fonsey was where you jumped the shark. Yeah, I should have stopped right there. Thank you. Actually, Fonzie was where you jumped the shark. Yeah, that's true. Ah, no. Oh, there you go. All right, all right. Take one down and pass it around. How did it end? I didn't present the beer on the wall.

It wouldn't even been bad because it could have just been a little cool piece of history. Yeah. But you presented it like a joke. What do you have glasses on your head? Oh, shit. I have reading glasses now because I can't read small print for the happy-

You put it just up that I can't read. Bobby, you've changed. It, yeah, I have changed. That's a fucking, I mean, you've had glasses for your whole life. No, no, no, just past couple of years. Like I said, your whole life. Yeah. Yannos was reborn two years ago.

Yannos? Yannos. Yannos. I had, I have had 2020 vision, very proud of it my whole life. Yannos was reborn to use it. Yannos? Yannos? Yannos. Yannos. I have had 2020 vision, very proud of it my whole life. And then this year, I went into a restaurant and I had to, I ordered something and I didn't know what I got. I just give me that and I had no idea what the fuck was coming.

And that used to be okay. That blurry, it was that blurry. They had given two of those. Yeah. Now. I had the LASIK 10 years ago and it's wearing off now. Really? Yeah. And that's a bad stigmatism in my left I right I was 2020 right got it done and now it's wearing off they still look like stone cold Steve

Anyways, we have another guest coming in at the hour. We're just trying to do that now in this show. We're having guests come in for an hour the first hour the second hour and uh... i guess she's a porn star uh... turn stand-up comedian scuffle yeah what's her name again the lead in could you be a little more enthusiastic about our church not just you may pollution no she's on the

uh... come on community which would be psyched if she was on that was funny that was yeah funny i mean it was kind of you know more from Lewis. I mean we're all I guess there He's that he's her new opener we're dating I would have I would have one thing to say to you get over it. It was a job. It was a Jesus And we had a I had a blast opening for her. I'm sure you did

I'm very enthusiastic. She doesn't want anyone to be too good before she goes She wants just a nice lie. You fuck what are we doing? That was just me. Yeah, what the fuck? You know, you know, it was unfriendly. Yeah, I thought that's what we did here No, right? Is it a week? We know week would you guys get sensitive? We must pause you don't name real things about me Everyone's coming. Yeah, I'm gonna be honest. you're honest. It's gonna be an entry that comes. I really don't care. Funny.

I call Bobby Fack as he doesn't look that fat anymore. Look at that jacket. That's black and slimming, yeah. First of all, I'm wearing this jacket to stretch it out. So, I, your body is acting as like the fucking the shoe.

I'm actually, I'm on this new app because it's called Stretch Out. And I stretch out jackets for other people. All right, well, it's called Stretch Out and I stretch out jackets for other people. All right, well it's still here. Yeah, we have what's your name again? Alia Janine. Alia Janine. Have you seen her porn?

Yes. I was, I was, I set out to do two things yesterday. I set out to do, um, watch her porn, uh, and watch her stand up. And I, I didn't get past the porn. I find it. She did some great porn. I don't know why she gave her back in. I didn't get best at porn. I'm fighting, she did some great porn. I don't know why she gave it back in. She does like, Milf porn.

I don't know why, it just. She does like, big titty porn. She, like, her tits are fucking gargantuan, huge sloppy mom tits. Real? Are they real? No, they're real, they're real, they're real. Wow.

But, yeah, she is. But, is her porn though? They all just, titty fucker. That's him. What do you even know? That's fucking annoying. She fucks black guys. What do you know, Meg out with her? But yeah, she is her porn though. They all just titty fucker Black guys, we know mega whether they're kind of kind of old after a while It's like why same thing over and over yeah, well that isn't that porn I mean porn is not really that fucking it's pretty much the same thing They do this specific thing and this girl does that specific shit And then that's why they have so many genres on the fuck you get to pick so many different things to get into because it's not like one company does

a bunch of different things or one girl does story porn or she's a lesbian and this and she does that and this I mean this girl takes in the ass this chick has big tits and she got tight casted. Yeah and porn. Yeah. Is there a fetish out there that hasn't been served you think you think there's like one that's still underground that like yeah think about that sometimes too. I wonder. Phil comics.

Phil comic porn. Phil comic porn. I've actually seen that on one of my favorite porn I think it was Amber Lynn. I'll grow up on her. So her guys on stage doing stand-up her boyfriend and she's in the green room hanging out. Oh yeah. And the other comic, the other comic mix, wind up just fucking doosin' her. And doosin' her. And he's on stage taking a hot one.

And he's just fucking bombing and she's just getting plucked from behind sucking. And then she goes, he knocks on the door, honey. And she's like, wait a minute, she's wiping and swallowing, and then she opens the door, she says, how was it, huh, wasn't that bad? Fucking JJ Ramirez, it's just in her face. It's like every comedian's nightmare right there. I found watcher, or actually fucking,

porno, I found watch my mom get blacked the other day. That was crazy. You're actual mom? No, yours actually, we found her. So they dug her other day that was crazy. Wait, your actual mom? No, yours actually. We found her. So they dug her up. She was blown up. Yeah.

We were going to save it as a surprise. She's the dude pounding a pile of dust. Dude sitting there doing homework. Black dude walks in the bathroom. We snorted your mom. Do it. You snorted my mom off of a black porn source cock. Anyways, what the fuck is going on in here?

Do you guys fix that? You guys get winter clothes. I love that that sis fell and Andrew. That was it. If. Anyways, what the fuck is going on in here? Can you guys fix that? You guys got winner. I love that that fish fell and Andrew just looked at it. No, no, cover. Oh God. Put it up. Oh God. Oh God.

Yes, right there. Thank you, sweetie. Bobby does not like to look at books. I. Probably those fucking books right now. It was a huge cover. I'm one book. It was a huge cover. Don't worry, Bobby. I'm a book. I wrote. I'm never going to was covered in one book. It was a huge book.

I'm never going to have to read another book. I got the hugeest book of all. And I wrote it, dude. I fucking wrote it. Anyways, I really built my book. I am. I really would have bought it because he wasn't attached. He wrote the book good ones.

The good part of that book, he wrote. Yeah, I mean, I watched her porn. It was kind of my type of porn, to be honest with you. I like it. I like a goofy face with a fucking nice body. It's my thing. And a dick. I'm not, I mean, look at her.

She's not like a porn now, though. Oh, she looks different. Yeah. Oh, really? What she's got there? Before she picked up her stand-up comedy career, she picked up a method I She's she's thin now. Are you guys gonna say this shit tour?

I said I went to her fucking other things relax. You don't have to see Jesus Christ Lewis now. You got a settle down She's not ugly Okay, she's friend I'm friends with her. I'll get her show. Are you a friend? You're a better twice I'm friends with her. I took a cab with her once you a friend? You're a better place. I'm friends with her. I took a cab with her once. I thought she was gonna suck my dick, she didn't. I don't know why. So anyways, I think that, yeah, her porn is definitely hot.

So it was one part where she's, actually, this is where I think she got her funny from, or was she wanna do stand up because she's on, she's smoking a cigarette and she's tweeting something and then she's like, I'll suck it, I can multitask. And she was like, I'll suck a dick, smoke, and tweet. So the guy just walks over and he's got this massive, just perfect dick.

And she just puts it in her mouth, she's tweeting, and she's got a cigarette over here. Genius. It was pretty good for porn, I laughed. I laughed. I hate funny and porn. Yo, usually I hate when a chick's trying to be goofy. I laughed. I hate funny and porn. Yeah Usually I usually hate when a chick's trying to be goofy. Yeah, it's like sports and funny I don't like funny in sports. I just like you know, you know, and people try to be funny and deliver you the sports

You know like ESPN Like a joke Yeah, I was just like funny in sports or funny in podcast. That was fucking good. No, thanks, brother. I saw on the other day I'm born to where they were reenacting Greece. The last scene in Greece. The last day in J. It was fucking good.

He goes Lewis and I do it better. But it was yeah, she was dressed as Olivia Newton John and the dude was dressed as John Tervolta, and they've sing the song, but it's like a triple X song version. I don't know. I like that you had to explain that to us. Like, we get it. One guy was just like the predator. Yeah, we get it.

Yeah, we get it. It was good. It was great. And then there you go. Who's going to sit through that, though? Who's going to sit through the musical? Me. I did.

Everybody in the room. Not exactly one point. I always wanted to. I never do. I never sat there a whole porn movie. You have, because, by all right, I guess back in the day not sat through one point. I always wanted to never do Never a whole porn movie Because but I guess back in the day you probably did because you have how old do you think I am? Why do you think you want to? Yeah, exactly I sure don't go back and change the real me and pee we Can I fucking speak on my show you? Fucking two singers right in a row

Right it's a huge headphones. I've never watched a porn in the theater. Never. But I theater? You used to be the jerk off booths, though. Oh, yeah. Oh, the peep shows are the fucking best. That was the best.

That was the peep shows. Can you imagine him in there just sweating, fucking sweat dripping on his head? That was hotbobby with hair. What do you think I was fat and bald since I was 19? And stuck like, farly in the voting booth. I never actually... I don't even know if I'm freaking out.

I put you to the top. I actually, when I first came to New York, when it was very deviant, when it was very nice sex, sex was living and breathing, you know, back then you lived. It was beautiful here because you could go to the peep shows where you have LOL now, right? Or will you do those shows? It was, um, you know, levels and levels. I mean, downstairs was, we're fucking gay upstairs with a girl,

the live girls with the glass that upstairs after that. It was the hole where you could actually put your head in. I like to lick some button stuff like that. I just like the video boots where you put a in and the video will come on for three minutes You know they had those too, but they had a B and C with 30 videos on each one You know you can stick your head in and lick it and lick it and ask if you want they had a they had one of the one of the One of the peep shows that they used to have the one of the first ones ever went to was with me bird ball Marley Dane aldo banny actually ball moral

musician we Bob Marley, Dane, Al Dau, Benny, actually Bob Marley. Musician. We, uh, Ernesto Marley went to. When we all came to New York, we went to the one on 42nd Street show, show world, the way that which is the biggest one. And they had like this octagon room and you had doors and you put a dollar in and it opens up and you could stick your head in the room. So it was all of us, all the windows open at once and our heads just popped out We were like it was up dead. What's happening?

It's fucking crazy and there was just like three you know There was a black chick with a C section and fucking yeah, of course, but there was some there was like always one good looking Well like I there was a Filipino brought in there one time and I called her over and she just put her butt in my face So I licked her butt. I just started licking her butt and she baby wiped it for me first. Oh, and front of you. Yeah, classy. Yeah, she like showed me that there was no cuckoo on it. No, he had no, you know, no, no.

I looked her ass. That's awesome. Yeah, fucking great. Yeah. That was before you could like work for yourself and go on back pages or cregs list, right? So you had to do that. There was no internet. There was no internet.

This was before AIDS. No, no, no, no, this was at AIDS. This is how AIDS started. This is how AIDS started. And one lady's baby was. Fuck it, a fatso lick, the fucking full of peanuts. It's a ass and a booth. It's a spit on the floor and a bird ate it

and then shit on a dude. And that guy was fucking at bird. And now everyone's got AIDS. That guy was Bobby Kelly. I, yeah, that was great. And they had the underground strip clubs. Yeah. And they had the sex clubs. You could go to the vault, that was great. And they had the underground strip clubs. Yeah. And they had the sex clubs.

You could go to the vault. It was fucking great. That was like a weird club where you know, you just, oh my god, it was almost like feeding pigeons. You ever just throw like bread down? They just come over. There would be like a chick would just walk around and then she just start like sucking a dude's dick and nine dudes would just run around her and she just and then some bounce or come over have to break it up like that you can't suck yeah it was amazing fucking great now it's all gone there's no more sex the way the way you describe these places yeah is the same way you describe food places now yeah yeah yeah the same way of like Donapub yeah

stop was it wait stop we acknowledge it's couples getting better He's been himself now. He's good. There we go. Right, he's good. What are you going to say, Eric? When you're in those booths and your friends are sticking their heads through the window. Like you, you're eating some girls butt. Licking another one of your friends is doing it. How do you stop from laughing or heckling while you're doing it? You last because you got a heart on man. Yeah, no you oh I laughed dude Yeah, you laugh you see fucking bear gun when you the fuck is this? It's a stupid Bro things

Yeah, Patrice ran out of money so he was like he was like Bob do let me get in that booth with you He squeezed in and I didn't want to do it. And he, he, I had just two heads peaking. Well, there wasn't two because he didn't fit. It was just his big eyes behind my head and me getting smudged. It's the wall. Was he scared for that? And I had a, he was a get that big fat bitch over there. And I had like, excuse me, miss just my head, excuse me. Could you come here for a second, please? My friend would like to talk to you. It's like you're picking out a rotisserie. You know, not a fat one, the fat one. Yeah, no, it was fucking great.

I love, I remember just walking around after, you know when you come out of an audition, it's very stressful, good or bad. And you need to, never audition for anything. You know, well, me and, I'm sure there'll be some burglary burglar rolls up, but as a You know, if you honest if you would have just thought about the words before you open your

Shoulder, yeah, that would have been a great joke. Yeah, he's He used to read them off a teleprompter With the warm sun out of back That with enthusiasm. Hey guys We are trying to get them a It's not gonna work, but we're gonna try our asses off stick around guys. We're back right after this You left that shankin ship by the way What sink and ship the show got cancer shankin You said shankin

Yeah, you say shank shaking shit. You know why? Can you go fucking yeah, I'm gonna go fast Can you look like a fucking guy who will go shink and shit part of my stuff right? You know he's canceled he started yeah, I can't so show your show got canceled three months after I left How fucking crazy is that well the crazy's bars? We were number one when I was there so yeah So it's you guys it was fucking Hey, I know you have your dog back. Didn't you have to you parted ways with your part? No, that put it down. My ass right down to a fucking level. No, no, no, no, no. That

was actually almost as my dog. Hang on, hang on, seriously, seriously, what happened? My mentor is your dog. Yeah, mentor. I so can I just stop cause I haven't had his dog though. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, listen, I really, I really want her to take you under her wing. Listen, away from the show and the city, listen and the city, and I want you to go on the road with her a lot. And I, whatever vehicle, whatever her next vehicle is, I want her to take you on that as

a writer or as just whatever. I want you with her. Realize check. I want, I so, if she needs help with the podcast, she can use the student. I'll give her whatever she needs. I need this to happen. I just want someone to experience you,

the way I have experienced you. I do, I want that. I want that for you to get successful. I so do I, me and Jess, have a very close relationship, okay? I know. I'm not, I gotta call Yannis, he who shall not be named. I'm not a bad boy. Is that true for real?

Yeah, I gotta call Lord Voldemort. Really? When do I come up? I look what a fucking creature you are. She said, thank you, A.D. Shut the fuck up. You fucked up what you guys talking about. Did we just, I just made a fool of that after the show. She said, I'm allowed to call you more reason if I wrote my eyes

Skopo hang on wait, you're fucking little 22 away You know and you know you fucking lying. His name comes up, absent fucking. Look at me, stop, one second. Look at me in my fucking eyes. Don't make any silly faces, let's do this. Cause I'm knowing you lying. Cause you can't fucking lie.

You never, ever bring his name up. You guys never kind of fucking crack jokes or bring his name up anyway. Lewis, Jay fucking crack jokes or bring his name up anyway Lewis J Exactly look at that face Exactly honestly honestly I've only fucking done one show at Jesse ever it was one show how great you came up I'll backstage you came up how hard did she kill Did she fucking killed it Harley Carly killed on a Marisha. I killed she killed she couldn't love a Ricia level Yeah, she did she was doing Marisa jokes. What's she really? Yeah, what do you are psycho dude?

This is all I want I just want his fucking his his his over it is got a great new chick everything's going great But it still lives in them somewhere really does I told him the one time who did I say was fucking her? Pete oh Dude I am no shardamas What was that you were just one degree off I was so Jesse May. What was that? You were just one degree off. I was so close. This is on our, on YKW dude. All right, listen, here's a deal. We all ask predictions.

Real ask predictions with the real ask dude. Yeah, no shardamis. All right, I, my special came out. I want to thank, first of all, all you guys in this room. Could you bring it? I want to thank all you guys in this room for helping me promote it. And all the other comics out there,

there's so many, I can't even name them all. I favor to all your tweets. I really, really did. You did not favor mine. I did. You did not. In here I did. Yeah, you did not favor mine. Which is the most important thing for me.

And you know what really hurt? You know what really hurt? You just followed me on Instagram. That hurt a little bit. I thought you would follow me on Instagram. Can I stop on hurt? What? You just followed me on Instagram. That hurt a little bit. I thought you were following this. Can I stop on Instagram? Hang on, stop on Instagram. I'm just getting caught up on Instagram. I've got no friends. Hang on, dude, having my fucking show every week.

Fuckface. I just thought it was more than that. I thought it was more than just a show. But I was just a friend, I just called you a fuckface. I just thought it was more than just my genius on the show. I thought you liked me as a person. It's more than just your average fucking funniness on the show. Honestly, God, I just, listen what I'm saying.

I just started following people on Instagram. I just, it's hard to find, like on Twitter, you can actually say something to me, oh there's fucking boom and we're friends. But on Instagram, you can't just see who, you have to go scroll through this craziness. I don't even know what you're talking about. It's harder to follow somebody. It's not talking about. It's harder to follow somebody.

It's not that crazy. It's harder to follow somebody. He's making it sound like it's some sort of elaborate. A lap or another raps. You know what? It's great. It's something like it's some sort of elaborate. You know what? You do Bob, you click follow and then the person's picture shows you.

I can't find you. You don't think about me exactly. You're going to search everyone's pictures. You know what, you're right, I really did. I hit the button because I had to. I could believe that. I was like, Robert Kelly's following you. I'm like, I think I've known him for a couple years.

He didn't mean to follow you. He had fucking deep rule manning his fucking Instagram. I just had it following you on Instagram. Thanks for the cheer. He still doesn't follow me. I get, but I don't, because I got it. You got to find me. Tell me it's not hard to follow people on Instagram that is on Twitter

Who said it that it's much easier Bob nobody's how is it easier because you just click follow no How do I find you you fuck you? You type the person's name and how do I spell you fucking name? Pretty easy just lean on the keyboard if you just fucking Who are you You're not following him you find it's saying me at a noir. I don't even know his name. Oh, he's I don't know being Anthony then what are you doing? It's not even fixed it's shitty come on deep who You're gonna take that lift from him spider We gonna take it from spider what the fuck is going on here

Shit from him. I'm not gonna scream. Oh, yeah, I was gonna explain. There's gonna be a back and forth I do the little scene. I'm like fucking loud. I got to I told you these guys never together Listen, uh, same how what the fuck they shot at the same Outside store. This is shut the fuck up. What happened to your mouth today guys guys shut the fuck up This is E rock from the ONA show he produces the opian Anthony show. What's up? Iraq? Hi Jesus met many times. How do we really? No we haven't done the same show. Oh, there you go Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah, don't follow you on Instagram, but whatever This guy could help you with your career, but do you think

You want Instagram, but whatever. This guy could help you with your career, but do you think? Not remember, I remember. Jesus Christ. All right, here we go. I'm a little fucking edgy. I want to thank everybody, everybody in this room. Seriously, it means the world to me that you guys actually tweeted or whatever the fuck you did for me, it meant the world.

It really did, because I don't, you don't have to do that. And a lot of, let me tell you something, a lot of, no, put your hand down. It's not happening. A lot of famous people, some famous people that I know didn't, didn't, okay? Didn't fucking even mention it, retweeted, or whatever. So, huh? What'd you say? Nothing. I, uh, I didn't just copy and paste the thing that you sent out. I wrote a heartfelt thing for my friends and family and fans to go and watch your thing. I know you did. It wasn't like everyone else just seemed

to just copy and paste the thing. But that's fine too. I wrote a personal one as well. No, that's what I'm saying. You're a realist dude. Look man, I don't know. You knew I was a realist dude before this stuff. Yeah, do your Greek rattlesnake.

Woo! Excellent special by the way. I don't thank you buddy. Very job. Thank you brother. I don't watch it. I don't mind. I'm trying to have a conversation all right with the fucking quips I'm trying to say something. I mean what the fuck? I

Appreciate it, but I don't mind the retweets either. I mean, I love that somebody fucking retweeted me That's fucking great the every single person that did it. I just want to say thank you to Because it meant a lot that you know you look man. This is a selfish business most people are selfish in this fun I try to do that shit too. I try to retweet. I try to help people as much as I can so it was good when I finally needed The same thing that actually people did it, you know and you know it was great and thank you for Watching it of course you guys you didn't even and thank you for watching it. I mean, you guys, you didn't even watch it. I was kidding, I fucking watched it, Dickhead.

No, I did, yeah, I did. Yeah, I bought it. Why do you get angry? I just said, I bought it. Because that's not really, that's a natural state. I watch it. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,' snap, don't you? It's not even, like his nice thing is like, I fuckin' did it in cock sucker. I bought it.

You didn't buy, shouldn't we? But we see. It's on fuckin', uh. How much was it? Five bucks. Did you receive? No, you bought it? Did you receive it literally?

Yeah, there's a receipt right here. No, I think we gave 10. Who's we? Me and B. Really? Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, I'll find out.

Cause we both watched it. You both watched it. and she went live I was there like I I went live Hey, when you denied me the opportunity to fucking open up and you let fucking Some gay could do it. He's a gay. It's Jared and he's fucking great And that's what he does for a living he fucking warms crowds up you you fucking go up You would have just went up I'm hot. No, you know you would have went go up you would have just want to come hot No, you would have went up and you would have fucking talked to everybody in the front row and said we died fight and then did your hat bit Yeah, it's not you Yeah, I was about to say he would have crushed if you had a visor on him

Jesse Did you seem like you were having a good fucking time up there. That crowd was awesome. It was a fucking great time. And it was, you know, here's the thing, is there's one shot that Mindy, right? The photographer? Mindy Tucker. Mindy Tucker, who's fucking insane. If you guys ever need photos, I've been using her head shot.

She took of me for years. You need head shots. Super cool. You go to, you fucking go look her up. She took a photo. There's one photo. It's actually going to show it in the break when we're taking a break today with the music. And thanks for sending all the music in because we're using original music now for the break.

So thank you for that. But one of the shots is that it's the beam of light coming down on the side with the get the crowd and everything. That's the shot in my head. Three years ago when I was like, I want this special and I told CERPICO, this is what I want, she actually got that shot. And I, that's almost exactly what I saw in my head. When I was trying to pitch this.

And the greatest part about it is that, everybody told me no, everybody said no, you got to do it in a theater. People said no, we don't want to do it with you. I got rejected by everybody. And then we finally got picked up, and then I got fucked up, and we walked away. And then to finally have, you know,

I remember saying to Jim, can we just please do it ourselves? Please. I know you have, you know, and he was like, fuck it, I'm paying for it. I remember going, fuck it, I'm paying for it. I got it. And he goes, you're not, all your money goes back in, fuck you, I'm paying for it. I got it and he goes, all your money goes back in. Fuck you, you're not getting anything.

Everything went back into making it. Even the sales from the tickets from that night, we had to use that money to fucking pay for it. Holy shit. And then after that, we were done, we edited it and it's like, it's just there. So if nobody buys it, if nobody picks it up, I'm just gonna be selling this at,

wherever the fuck it is. And me and Scopus selling it in the back is a no-one. Bobby Y'all are not as good as Providence. I'm gonna sell those. $200, brand new, f*****, I'm gonna sell those. What I hate quote it, dude. But it felt good to do it on your home pool.

What's up, buddy? Who's telling you that you have to do it in the feeder now? I'm telling you. Telling you. Every, everybody who was willing to do it in a theater now. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Comedy Central? Everybody who was willing to do it with us, and everybody we talked to was like, you have to do it in a theater. It's just because, I think the industry gets this vibe,

like somebody tells them, it's in a theater. It looks like it actually makes the person look bigger than they are. It makes the audience think, oh my God. Bobby does not want to look any bigger. is you know what I mean this is uh... you know what I'm saying I think sometimes what doing it in a theater deserve to bend and the jokes good the reaction from the audience seems to fall flat sometimes just because it's so big it I don't think it's it falls flat but

it's it the reason why I'm when I listen to patrice's uh... uh... special on comedy Central and then his album, the album to me was better because it was the crowd when you could hear the crowd. And you can't do that in a theater special. You can't fucking, you can't be a true comic. When you walk on stage every night, you don't know really what you're gonna say first. I mean, we kinda do, but we're not.

We're not. We're not gonna say, that's it, but nobody else. But kind of do, but we're not. The honest is desert, but nobody else. But you don't you don't really know what the fuck's gonna have. But the crowd reaction sounds better. Like Rogan Special came out a few months ago in a smaller venue and everything it tells been doing. Yeah, exactly. The underground reaction sounds bolder and like everybody's like,

holy fuck, I can't believe what I'm watching compared to the theater where you're taking the pauses because you got to let the whole theater applause and then let it die out before you go to the next thing if you look at a if you look at a theater performance, okay? If you look at the specials, it's There's no swearing. There's no it's it's not a club set It's in this you're going you're in this box and you're doing this set like you're acting it way It's it's it's it's a little bit of a sililoque than anything It's a longer I consider it a longer

It's it's it's more like a sililoque than anything. It's a longer. I consider it a longer Monologue set on like a Leno or a Letterman or you know, I mean that's what an hour special became just a longer Perfect television set. I mean that's it. I Mean I wanted the clubs switch it up though Like if you did another special would you do it in a club again? Or would you try to do a theater? I just do it look to me. It was important I always thought it was important that the actual place you do it at was a cast He was you know a character in the cast like when you say live Robert Kelly live at the village on the ground the village on the ground is part of it. It's part of the special

Yeah, it's a it's a thing with me You know what I mean? So I think the next one I would do it would have to be at a place where you go I love that fucking place. Like the- Donut, den, donut, den, donut, den, donut, den, whatever, whatever, whatever, laugh, donut, puffs, you fucking smash, you don't even know what's going to happen. Deadly fucking dead, it's so fucking good, man. I'd come here two times a day to make fresh hot fucking donuts.

You can sort of depends on the comic too though. You know what I mean? Like, I'd rather watch him or. I was just saying. You can sort of depends on the comic too though. You know what I mean? I'd rather watch him or a tell in a club. I wouldn't want to see Burbiglia do a special at a club. Can you know what I mean? I wouldn't want to see Burbiglia do a special. All right, you know what I mean? Anyway, we got about, yeah, you know what I'm saying though,

right? I think it depends on, no you're right, because I'll say this, me in a club, I look, I've done theaters, I can do a theater. But if I have to, me and a club, I look, I've done theaters, I can do a theater, but if I have parameters, if I have to do what you want me to do in this place that I don't wanna find, for some reason, I get, something gets filtered out, you know what I mean?

That's why I want, I'm a club guy. When I go into a fucking, a dingy little fucking comedy club, I feel my most powerful. I can just be the funny guy that I am. And I was trying to capture what we do every weekend mostly, mostly every comic. That's where we are. In this fucking, they're right on us. It's fucking crazy. And you don't know what the fuck's coming next. And it's dark in the ceilings below and the stage is small and you can they're fucking all around you just surrounding you like a womb and you got a fucking and you're going a mile a

minute just fucking killing it. And there's times and seeing you over the years parts of your acts where you get surprisingly very physical and what you're doing and you get a bigger pop from the crowd, especially from ladies when you're acting out stuff when you used to do a bit about video games and getting all pissed off and that waxing thing. And just you're doing that people respond more in a smaller setting to what you're doing physically and not saying anything rather than if you were doing that in the theater. Yeah, I think theater show.

I mean, look, some people have great theaters. I think certain comics perform better in a theater show. Yeah, I like Mike's point. Yeah. I think it's also a lot like I like this comics perform better in a theater show. Yeah, I like Mike's point. Yeah. I think it's also a lot like me. I like this point. He made a good point.

It depends on the comic. It depends on the comic. You've got to be able to work or crowd if you're going to do a small. If you're going to do a small. Brian Regan's going to walk into a theater regardless. And he's going to do his thing, whether there's 20 people or 20,000, but for you and a tell and some other. I think about it a lot like music.

Like I'd rather see a jazz show in like a tight dingy dirty club. So I'm gonna go to like an arena, right point. Arena show, you know what I mean? Like that's the thing that's so beautiful and intimate about comedy in New York, is that you can get that fucking, you know? Like you get that like, it's a great point.

Get spit on there in the fucking show. That's great. I mean, watching that special was like, it almost creates like this is a whole new vehicle. You know what I mean? Like it doesn't have to be possible now. You can do that now. You can make it look like, this is a whole new vehicle. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't have a problem. Yeah, it's possible now. You can do that now.

You can make it look good and shoot it in the smaller. Yeah, because that was a key thing to CERPICO. He was like, it's got to look cinematic. It's got to, this is going to look better than anybody else is special. And he had to go do the math. So he had to figure out, how do we do it for this much money? And make it look fucking, you know, $500,000?

How is it going to look amazing in this small venue for this much money? Which, you know what the, here's a sad part about it, is that you can't do a special until somebody gives you the money for it, or you have your own money. But how do you become that big to have that? Well, you seriously, some guys, some people do that, but how do you become that big to have that? Well, you seriously, some guys, some people do that, but how do you become that big? And now you do a Kickstarter and you don't meet your goal, you're done. Oh, do go fund me, you don't have to do that. Oh, you can do whatever, you know what I'm saying?

My point, he's making jokes. I forgot. I follow him down his Instagram. Sorry, inside the fucking actor studio with Bobby and fucking Fenolia. What the fuck yourselves? I'm trying here. What the fuck, you're listening to you guys the fuck yourselves? I'm trying here. Oh! What the fuck, and listen to you guys pontificate.

Fuck off. Jesus. Faggot, homo, fat fuck, gay hair. Who's got a lot of bullets in the fucking? Here's a dick. Let's go. There's got a lot of bullets, but here's a dick. I'm not, when he get his first shot at some UFC thing on TV,

I'm not erasing what he just said. I'm not gonna fucking highlight this show. I'm gonna make this just a Faggot, Faggot, Faggot homo I just want you to say the end word to just a shits and giggles. Let me open you some fucking gay guy Because he's a Greek rattlesnake He just speaks in memes. I hope it's a fucking slot. I really hope that you remember who's that fucking crazy TV host, the Downey Jr. Downey Jr.

Remember that? More Downey Jr. More Downey Jr. Who had a big ball and he just smoke and flick it remember the big ball Down in the freaking More down in junior, who had a big ball and just smoking flick it in the big ball I hope that comes back so he has a shot at making it That would actually be fucking Lewis, I would watch Lewis hosting it something Yeah, he's gonna go, ah, you're a bunch of faggot

We're back in two We're back in two We're back in two We're back in two We're gonna do some diaper commercials and a fucking cigarette ad Fuck you lady lady fuck you lady You're a bunch of fucking twats Parrish marriage anyways did you see Jones that bag? Fag! I'm Irish.

I'm Irish. Oh, so Deepu, what is going on with your people in Paris? Here's a fucking show with Dylan from Laugh Spin, right? He calls me up. Who's that? Mom, your mom. Shit. Tell her is it high.

Shut up. I can talk about my mom like that. Oh shit. Laura's that high. Shut up. I could talk about my mom like that. Not like that. She knows what I mean. Hey, mom. Hey, mom, I'm not. I got it. Okay, mom, settle down.

You're right. I got it. This is your mom response. You're on my podcast live, mom. Say hello. Well, it just came in the mail and I was afraid to open it. Like, something was going to jump out. And then I'll go Michael and I end you and the baby here.

And I'm like, you know, so my sister is birthday. He gave me a live writer. It's not going to be that. Is it? I pushed my mic away because I was holding my mouth to not say that exact thing. Mom, you're on my show live. My podcast live.

What do you do even know your podcast? You don't even listen. I can't erase that either. That's my rule. I love what Bobby what you're the one you happen about vibrators. My good that's worse. mom. My good, that's worse. No, that's not worse. That is more awesome. I love you. I'll call you later, all right? I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. The vibrate? No, no. I got our camera, you asshole. Well, you're, well, you're the vibrator. You're welcome for the vibrator. That was my gift. You have what? I have everything you gave me that day. I'm what? I'll never use it. I'll never use it.

I'll my birthday, I'll my six years birthday. What I get you? Jesus. The vibrator. You got me this little metal thing. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. I'll talk to you later.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Right? Wow. Hey. Thames are a little weird though. The Kelly house. Huh? You got your? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh Snow globe bullet. Let me show you how it works. When most people have success, they buy them a car.

Yeah. I don't have that much success. Those people shoot their specials and theaters. We really were getting, when you're shooting a club, you get your mom a bible. I love the looks. Really, really call this up for fucking trying to be actors. Anyways, this special.

I really like the way it's cinematography is. I love that we switched him, though. We got him on our side. He turned the chair around and said, this fashion, I really like the way it's cinematography. I love that we switched him though. We got him on our side. He turned the chair around and said, you know, he might've got a great point. Louis was just fuming there going, what the fuck, there's nothing funny about this show. I know what happened there for five full minutes.

The word's back, it wasn't said once. It was freaking out. Bill, at least funny experience on Earth happened for five minutes. Sometimes, what? What the fuck? Scopus getting strong when you ever, when you ever create something from the ground up

and you do it with somebody and then you see it come to fruition, you'll have what? What? fruition. Yeah, fruition. It's a distinct something. There's an R in there. Where?

Not in Boston. They say foolish. I don't say that. Not in Washington? Yeah, I say idea too. I just put the arms with it, and I take them out. You take the R for tuition, you put it in an idea. Boston accents take the R's out with it, they are, and they put them in with it, not.

Dude, I got an idea. So uneducated people do the same thing. No, they don't. Okay. That's not true, it's an accent. Okay. Cuxucker. Cuxucker. Anyway, just call them a corksucker. That's how they put it in. I put the R for Cuck Sucker. I have. Cuck Sucker. Anyway. Just call him a Cork Sucker. I put the

Cuck Sucker. But anyways, you'll have that someday. You might have, I might be a little meaningful to you. I'm gonna have it on the theater. Huh? I'm gonna do mine in the theater. With a hundred thousand Lewis Rattles, take maniacs. Go might. Go might. I hope that hundred thousand. You're doing a theater.

I thought you were so special. But I Rattle stake maniac go might go might I hope that had a thousand you do it in the theater But I would want to go Hey, I got hang on what I would want to do it in a smaller theater though like it like an intimate like I don't know like there was a place that I the first place I ever had mind the L.O.L. comedy club I'm gonna do a special to L.O.L. comedy club. I'm gonna do a special to L.O.L. Come on, come on, come on. I love it. I love it.

Can I just say something? This is how comics are. As soon as I open them up, where would you like to see how quiet and fucking pontificating you? This fucking asshole got into you. I would like to do it in a small theater. Not a big theater. Really?

Keep telling us you fucking asshole. I'd like to do it the first place I ever headlined Joker's wild By pet by Frank Pettey's pizza The village landship by the way Frank happens It was a week ago. They have one in Mulligan's on me. I know they also have one by my house now. Oh boy Oh, the rest. Yeah, but I have a here. Here's the thing. I that's what have three weeks three weeks Have to all the pizzas three Together Joe

That one of you has fucking a stomach virus on his palm I Three weeks I haven't had I Haven't had a sugar greens, I lost 10 pounds. I mean, I know, dude, that's it. Dude, sugar, I cut out sugar, that's how this happened. Yeah, sugar, don't just drink water. How you career started going down the road? I was so interested in what you promised I was going to do.

You were driving a beamer in the sun fucking three months ago. Now you just impaled douchebag with a dirty t-shirt. Yeah, you're slowly getting fatter. Yeah. You've definitely put on four pounds that you've come back. Yeah, you're slowly getting fatter. Yeah. You've definitely put on four pounds as you've come back to do, right? It was just slowly.

But I lost like 40 by just drinking water. Yeah. That happens. It's tough. No, no, no, no snapples, no sugar drinks, nothing. I don't drink that shit anymore. You drink booze. I just threw it on pizza.

No, and I cut out the booze once in a while, a little scotch with a cigar. So Bob, you're on the real estate diet. I'm on, I don't know, I'm on my diet. No sugar no grains. I don't have a cheat day. No, I do one cheat day a month. I don't do any cheat days, I'm just fucking over it.

This is it, I can't do a cheat day. I do a cheat day, I'm fucking done. I'm just, my brain doesn't work like that. I'm with you. I'm trying to do a cheat day. Can I say some? A cheat day is what took me off this fuck. Last year I lost 45 pounds and then I started getting cheat day in my head because

of this fucking asshole and I did a couple cheat. Yeah, for you to do it looks great. For me, I fucking spun out of control. I had a cheat month. Yeah. I saw you. I saw how you can eat. It's pretty. It's pretty that so it's scary a little bit. Yeah It's a way to eat together at Versus house. I've never seen anything like that Well, they were still actually eight Versus house. You left. We talked of everyone was talking about that's not fun That's that's mean. I mean it was like you took we took that big hero back out And you were just like yeah, you're standing standing like one arm up leaning over the kitchen counter Yeah, you standing standing like one arm up leaning over the kitchen counter

pounding that a sandwich sandwich it's a It's up I already said Eric I go I'm out guys taking what's this Bobby's five eight We we started slicing it up. Oh, I was fucking American half Italian. Oh, he was eating cakes and it was just Yeah, he was looking around like fill fill me fill me No, remember when we used to get good breakfast when we were over at a karaoke Yeah, and the palm would come in yes, and they would grill and everything and we'd had steak and filet mignon Because fish and eggs, you know why it was the best it was the best radio show at XM right and then you go over there And it's just one of many and they just shut down that fucking special treatment. Right.

I don't know why. It was great. It's still one of the Friday we had a different restaurant. It's still one of the big shows at the fucking place. Why isn't there fucking, why isn't that happened? Because all the money goes somewhere else. I'll tell you this too though, I bet you those guys didn't want it

because they were all on different diets too. Well it's hard to do food now because Norton doesn't want anything in the studio. Like anytime, because he's rolling our guest booker has a lot of great food connections. He's always dying to bring in people and stuff and whatever and every time that happens, Jim's been on this big health kick so he just doesn't want anything that's tempting. He looks good man. So we all he looks great. We all

suffer in star. And by the way, it is all fucking diet. The fans are out there. It should really be said. It is diet. If you want to if you want to have a six pack you might have like nice homes You gotta work out obviously. We just talk to my fans like you're a fucking cult leader It should be said if the fans are listening What are you a fucking wrestler shut up the other problem that Lewis? He works out his arms so much his stomach is still terrible Listen to me scope oh terrible everything is terrible your face is No settle down

He's aggravated guys telling Lewis. Let listen down. Why why would you do that? It's why do you gonna go to zero to 60 because that's what a real ass fuck a dude I didn't attack little the scope all like daddy's coming at me We all you coming at everybody. Yeah, I'm not coming at anybody. No, you came at me You call everyone a faggot seven times the whole pop you You're coming at everybody. I'm not coming at anybody. You came at me. You've got everyone a faggot, seven times. The whole pocket. I call two of you faggot.

You are really calling the faggot on a funny, just say what he is. All right, so listen, anyways. But the fans should know that really legitimately is all diet. You can work out as much as you want, but if you're not eating clean from the earth, it's all diet.

Thanks, Jack Lane. No, I understand what you say. It really is all what you put in your body. That's it. You can work out as much as you want. If you're eating shit, it's just gonna be there. But as soon as I started eating clean, number one, my joints feel better.

Cut the sugar out, my knees, all that energy too. Let's smoke sugar out. We got through a couple days of like fucking headaches and shit in the beginning. Yeah, first week fucking, as soon as that sugar, let's leave my body. I got massive headaches, I got the sweats, We got through a couple days of like fucking headaches and shit the beginning. Yeah, well first week fucking brutal right? As soon as that sugar was leaving my body. I got massive headaches. I got the sweats all that shit happens I does a name for it. I forget the name for it. Um, being fat self love starts to start still

That's right. Yeah, we can't have it. Gross three times its size. I can't have any of that self. It was a fucking nightmare. Now I got a trainer. I'm actually Calling today and I'm going to start this week I think Thursday but but bubs me out why because I would train you yeah but I'm not coming to your gym in Harlem I'm not going to a fucking ballies inside of a fucking prison now I want to New York sports I know I know the first New York sport club ever It's like 19 dudes in a studio. It's in the hidden subway tunnel underneath the I would I would I would I would I work out with you definitely come down to work out

You could boys and girls club if I had your fucking setup dude I would just you could in your backyard you can set up like workout a quick bit I was just five degrees outside no and the spring in the summertime. Yeah, just workout in the spring in the summer I'm not I have neighbors. I'm not... Only five degrees outside. No, and the spring and the summertime. Yeah, just work out the spring and the summer. I'm not, I have neighbors. I'm not fucking putting a workout bet you put it weekend. Fucking asshole. You put a world of old time in fucking war.

I'm gonna make it the one piece. He was gonna make it look like a prison yard in my back. That's what I'm doing. I'm getting weights and I'm putting it in my backyard. Yeah, of course you are. And you wait, I can give you a hug. Yes. And you, we're friends again.

I'm sure. And you wonder why you have to move every eight months I got it. It's right here I mean that wasn't a joke that was a statement if you guys want to make it Yeah, but even without a joke when you cause three consecutive seconds of silence You have to read just you have to read just the pen I did the time slow. I was, yeah, I was, I was like, it was a time warp. You guys brought up this Paris thing,

which I, I have a thing here, I'm not, I'm not bringing it up, we don't even have to talk about it, okay, but I, what bothered me this weekend, I had to do Dylan from Lafspin's podcast, and it was like, hey, we're gonna talk about technology and how technology affects comedy and blah, blah, blah. So I'm like, cool, I'll definitely do that. And we get down there, it's me, hey, we're gonna talk about technology and how technology affects comedy and blah, blah, blah. So I'm like, cool, I'll definitely do that. And we get down there, it's me, Kurt, Rachel,

the girl from Huffington Post and Andral Shultz. And I'm like, great, I love all the people, they're great. Then we get on in the first thing, it's kind of that alty crowd, whatever it is, not with down the East Village, Chinese place, Chinese's, you know, Chinese place, Chinese place, and then there's just this fucking cool bar, you know. I forget what it's called. And I go in and it's the New York podcast fest,

which I have nothing but, I've never really trashed them, but we've never, I've never been involved in it, and I think that I'm a huge part of podcasting in New York City. If I do fucking say so myself. Yeah, some of the fucking shows the shows that you have on there I fucking you know I kind of made it you know I helped a lot of fucking people start their shows whether it be Verbole just telling you what a equipment to buy or actually helping you on my network or otherwise

It's all I think it's stupid anyway. Well, no, I don't think it's stupid, but they actually come up to me and they, I never said anything bad about them because I get it, you pick who you want. I don't give a shit, but let's be realistic. You have a podcast network, maybe I should be involved somehow or whatever, or at least the network, right? But they come up and they, yeah,

we try to get in touch with you two years in a row, but you can go and know your spots. So apparently they sent me emails and I just never read the fucking hilarious. Which is, which is, makes me, I'm glad I to get in touch with you two years in a row, but you've got no response. So apparently they sent me emails, and I just never read the fucking hilarious. Which makes me I'm glad I never get in. These fucking cock seconds. So they were being, you know, they were lying. No, they actually found the email.

Oh, you did? No, but I'm just saying that. So that. No, but anyways, I got out to do this thing. We get on the panel. And the first thing I did on the phone is, my love, but he was like, I guess, I got out of the do this thing. We get on the panel and the first thing out of Dylan's mouth Who I love but he's like I guess I this would bother me. I guess it just happens so we should we have to bring it up What happened in Paris and it's like and then it's like

What the fuck why this supposed to be a podcast about technology and New show goofy shit. Why I mean yeah, what comics, but it's like that's exactly what they want us to do We have because we're all fucking Charlie dude And if you want to have the freedom to do a podcast about Technology then we should maybe talk about what's going on with these Islamic terrorists trying to take away our freedoms as an artist Robert can't take him seriously. I know I sounded like Charlie Brown's team. I don't believe as an artist that I need to talk about what you think I should talk about.

Louis. Louis. Louis. How's that? If I wanna talk about goofy tech shit, I should be able to do that. I shouldn't be forced into because I'm a standup. I guess we, no, you're gilting,

we're being gilted into being dealing with these fuck, it's terrible. It's fucking wrong. Apps are fucking lootly. But we have to chit, now every topic has to be opened up with, oh, how do you feel on Paris? Go fuck yourself. That's what they want me to do. They want me to fucking talk about, they want it to be on the tongues of everybody in the fucking world. Look what we did. They don't give a fuck about us. You know, it's like you download the fucking videos of the naked girls. That's what they wanted. They don't give a fuck what you think about them. Scumbags, assholes. They want you to fucking look at those pictures.

What naked girls? All the stars. They wanted the people to look. Here's the, we hacked into Sony. Look at what we found. If you look at it, you're not fuck, it doesn't matter if they did it. If they hacked in, took all that shit and nobody looked at it, it wouldn't matter. It still would be private. I'm not saying. The media is in such a desperate place now because there's so many media outlets and they're

so competitive and they're all trying to get the edge of one another that they become very Morally malleable yeah sensationalized. Oh, of course sensationalized the word because the same day that that attack happened there was another attack in Africa and it was 2000 fucking African people slave. Yeah, buy a fucking this Yeah, they were fucking murdered by this crazy militant in this, uh, shopped up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they were fucking murdered by this crazy militant as a long journey in Africa.

But because it's not a sexy story on the streets of Paris and it's like, it's just 13 people died in, it's a terrible thing, but in reality, the sexier story gets more coverage. We need to do something about everything. All that needs to be fucking dealt with. But here, when we're doing a podcast about technology, it's okay to, it's okay to live our lives too

not everything has to be dipped into how shitty the world is in fact that's the best way in a lot of ways to deal with it because you're not giving an attention you know how to do this for attention they do this to disrupt and to make the news and to set fear and the more you talk about it the more fear it is and all so now now also do it to commit G-Hod, which is, I mean, they're specifically trying to go to fucking heaven and meet Allah and fuck vengeance. So murdering the infidel's is a part of that process.

Yeah. Here's what I said, we're not playing the same fucking game as these people. We're trying to explain, we're like, we're like, oh, we're playing poker. And you're talking to these crazy people who are like, oh, yeah, and poker, we could just take out a gun and shoot you in the fucking head. We shouldn't even be having be having a conversation dude if people want to live under Sharia law in that part of the world

Fucking let him fucking do it man if people want to get out of there and you want to create like an underground railroad to get women out of the Middle East more power to you But for us to have any involvement in that part of the world is fucking banana, but it's not Paris. It's not yet Paris I'm talking about I'm talking about all involved. Yeah, but it's specifically. And it happened in fucking Paris. In Europe, yeah. It's happening here as well.

It's happening everywhere. By the way, that's just going to get you to happen. What do you, what do you point Mike? Please make your point. No, I don't understand. I mean, I get like that, but that happened in Paris. And it happens here, but you're saying if it happens there, let it stay there, but there and then the next sentence you say that's happening here.

I'm saying that we all, After you speak, can you crush a beer on your head? Absolutely. Can you do it? Can you do it two by four right now? I'm saying you're gonna fucking stone cold. That's the way I feel when Lewis makes a point. I'm gonna smash something over my own head.

No, I'm saying that way. We're way too involved with the reason that these guys, stop with your hands. When you don't know what you're talking about all of a sudden your hands I'm talking about it. All right, you get make it point without your hands the reason that these guys are committing terror sacks whether it's in parents don't move your hands. Go fuck yourself. Don't move your hands. That's how I talk upon I said no, you're not that someone lied to you. But sit on your hands now go ahead now now make a great point. Go ahead. The reason that the reason Go ahead I'm done no, no fucking I apologize

No, so if you don't want me to have a fucking conversation, we want to have the conversation. I messed up go ahead The point Can't stand you Bobby go ahead no the reason that I can't stand you Bobby. God. No, the reason that these guys are killing people around the fucking world is because countries like us and like other countries in Europe are fucking, I can't even stand. No, I'm doing it, I'm doing it. I thought that was it.

I did. I have that on video. No, it's so happy. No, I tried, I was on a fucking road making a point. I Have that on video No, I was on the fucking well making a point You know, it's really really ironic about what they do is they're all upset About the negative portrayal of their religion and then they go and murder 13 people. Yeah It's got nothing to do with religion That's not about they're not a religion a good image

They're not set about the negative portrayal of what's up? They're upset about them specifically drawing the profit Muhammad and not not a negative portrayal of their religion them drawing the profit Muhammad I think it was like sexual acts or whatever it was that he was involved with that they are that to them That is a fucking death, a fucking murderable offense. The the the the the the the the the Quran. No, the the punishment for that crime is fucking death. It's okay. Guys, these guys weren't, you know, you get to remember that that most of these people like they're

pretty much saying, if you're going to do something, some G-H jihad shit do it without a mask on do it show you face. Yeah, let them know is that these guys were Supposedly hired killers these guys were professional hired assassins bunch of new footage came out today of it And it looked like a deleted scene from fucking like They don't They don't down these little roads in Paris and a little car and they had the masks or loathing fucking M16s on their roof. Yeah, this is some fucking pretty professional shit that just went down. But I know what you're saying with media though, it's just so sensationalized and then it's like the biggest, most catastrophic thing in the world and then the next day, it's just

another thing. And then another thing, and we just keep fucking pray in towards it. And like Yannis said, it's just too much media and too much like this fucking thing. It just sounds asensitizing. I get it, I get it, but it's like, I'm sittin' there ready to do this goofy podcast on technology, but it's a podcast festival. And all of a sudden it's like,

hey, what do you think? And it's like, okay, well, first of all, I need a couple of little time to think about that. My whole brand, and Kurt Matsker, you know, fucking, he snaps. And he's always, I mean, look, I give it up for the kid, he's always got some poignage. Even though you think Kurt is some goof guy,

he's a fucking brilliant guy. He's very smart. He's got some really poignage shit to say. And you're like, oh shit, now it's this. Now I'm on some fucking Bill Marpanel that I didn't know I was gonna fucking be on. Was it a lot of nerds running it? A lot of hips, they're nerds running the fucking thing. Because I see that hat.

Nerds, nerds, nerds. First of all, I fucking love nerds. You guys know that. I love a fucking, I look at Deepu. I love this kid. You know what I mean? Thank you, Bobby. But I also, I'm out of my temperate. I also love muscle too. I have fucking Deepu the muscle. Thank you, Bobby. my temperature had that. I also love muscle too. I have fucking deep with the muscle. Thank you Bobby, I really appreciate that. I mean, scop out the muscle. All the way with my heart from Queens,

I can't get a good Bobby. Good for a price. Anyway, feel it, feel it. I think it's, I think it's not to be gay Bobby, but I love you bro. Bobby, I just wanna say thank you from Queens, I appreciate it. I just thought it was, I thought it was fucked up that I feel, I feel as a comedian.

I remember when you don't got a lot of shit after September 11th, I get like we all went up on stage and talked about it, right? And Mitch Fatel didn't. Mitch went up and did his character that he does. And everybody gave him shit. They're like, you didn't even fucking mention it. And I was like, you know what?

He was like, well, I just do what I do. You know, I was like, maybe you don't fucking, maybe you don't have to fucking mention it. I guess, you know? And it's like, I don't know, just fucking bothered me. I was like, what the fuck now? I'm in this heated conversation about G-Hod and fucking people dying.

It's like, ugh, fucking what the fuck? That sucks. You didn't want it. I just wasn't prepared for that. That's something for me personally. They violate. I don't have this fucking, this opinion, where I, you know, I just go, I think this,

I need to fucking. You're not smart enough to answer it. I. And that's where, because this guy's a good friend of yours, right? The podcast that you were. Yeah, he's great friend. I don't think he wasn't malicious because that's usually what a show would do that if you don't really have the personal connection with.

They want a comic on for something serious because you may slip and say something that they can use and exploit for their show and get headlines, but it's weird if a friend of yours is doing that to you on his own show. Well, that that's the thing too it's all of a sudden you're fucking on the show it's being recorded and uh... you you gotta be careful what the fuck you say now right because someone could take it out of context and you're now you're on tmc now i'm on a low level shazin now i have don't apologize tweeting me stop apologizing for you gotta help bob cally his new special just got banned because he said some hard shit some chick from Colombia Was at the stand that she's like can I ask you a couple questions about

Female comics right and I was like fuck. I'm like for what and she's like oh, I'm doing this piece about what were female comedians and how hard it is The rich boss rental we already did the movie This is bullshit I'm not a sex. This is bullshit. Every question she asked, I felt like it was a fucking trap. Do you find it harder? Do you think it's hard for female comics to get booked at shows, for a smelt, and I'm like, no. No, for a smelt. I'm like, no.

I just want to play for a fanferd. That's all I was my only answer. What did you say? I kept saying I like Maria Bamford. That was it. It's easier for a casual way. It's easier for a woman family. If you're, it's easier for a woman. Oh my, well hang on. It can stop. We're gonna transition because we have a nice transition.

We have so much easier. We have a woman comic coming on. Next, she was a porn star and now she's a standup comedian. We're gonna take a little break. I'm gonna read this ad real quick, if you don't mind. And then we will Actually, I'll read it when we come back. We're gonna take a little break everybody watching live Stay in the room chat away ask some questions whatever you got. What's that?

We're gonna play some music for you People these are actually people No, this is these are people that... I'm gonna be singing it now. Guys. I'm gonna be singing it now. Sorry. It's pretty funny though. Sorry.

Sorry Bob. Guys, these are people that actually sent in songs, right? Yep. We have some bands though. We have lines and girls. We have some songs from back here. It's superheroes. And from a band called Underline, which is right.

Thank you, buddy. Thanks for sending them in. Yep. All right, check it out. Yeah, we're back. But before we go really back, we're going to do this little ad from this awesome company that advertises on this great podcast. DraftKings.com is America's favorite daily fantasy sports website created by American

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No, we're not gonna do any sweepers. We're just gonna come back. Yeah, we had a little, I fucking hate you, too, together. Talking to your boobs. What's up? What's up? No, we're not gonna do any sweepers. We're just gonna come back.

Yeah, we had a little, I fucking hate you, too, together. Talking to your boobs. What's up? No, we're not gonna do would be nominated. That was great That would be nominated. Does that make up for what happened before with him not you Yeah, he's on the show every week You you fucking five o'clock cunt No, it's just you don't know know what it's gonna be annoying it is.

I mean, because you're not doing this, you're just floating in and exactly on time. I wasn't trying any mouths, I was trying to do a funny song. Yeah, that's all right. You were making fun of Deep Who's Indianness. I can't pick up the bandana. We were doing it. I saw that happen. Well, that bitch, Joe.

My headbutt, the fucking board. My belt buckles to is hurting my stomach I'll cut my stomach over right now if I push any harder on this bell buckle We have a beautiful guest that just entered the room Want you to do so guest. Let's go. Hey, this is a Legionine retired porn star now comedian Yeah, Legionine now you're I know here I'm gonna be honest with you. I told the guys I would I said I'm gonna go watch your porn and I'm gonna watch your standup

Never made it to the standup weird. Yeah, um, do you talk to the mic sweetie by? Well, I mean, you know you because after you jerk off, you just tired Am I back and you get racism? You know so we only want to hear what you have to say with full balls Nobody wants to hear a woman talk after they come Was your ever have you ever you ever think about doing a porn back in the day like as a stand-up comedian like a girl who had like You know like a Pia's a door, we had to blow you way to the top. I mean, great.

Never. No. So you stand up, did it come out of you, you're, because in your porn, you were kind of funny. Yeah. You were doing this thing where I can blow you, text, and smoke a cigarette at the same time, which I thought was pretty funny. Thank you.

Is that, is that, is that, it was a big dick too. Well, this guy walked up, it was a monster. Head out. I thought it was the shadow of his cock. It was actually his dick. So how long were you in poor form? I was only in poor form for four years. It's it.

College. For years. I learned a lot, I graduated. I graduated. Did you got a bachelor? I got a bachelor's in dick form. Nice. But Did you learn how to suck dick better in porn or was it something that you just came in with? I just came in with, or?

I'm sorry, I was suffering from, I mean, you were all star. I learned how to deep throat a lot better, like how to control the gag, reflex, a lot more. Yeah, well, I was dealing with a lot bigger cock, so you kind of had the big legs. Did that make you actually want like in personal? Do you like it? Does it matter the size? No, I'm not a size queen. As long as they know how to use it, as long as it's not like super small.

Damn it. What do you mean super small? I've dated a guy. Give me inches. Like pinkies. Women always do that. Because I've slept've dated a guy. Give me inches. Like pinkies, that's it. Women always do that. Because I've stopped with a guy who's cock was this big.

Really? Was his name Jay O'Hard? Yeah, but you hold on, hold on. Guys, you know what I said? If you just say pinkie size. Stop that, small. If you imagine Dan Soters long creepy pinkie, that is a much different pinkie size than your pinkie.

My pinkie. You ever look at Dante Nero's pinkie? I was in love with that was my talk. I took the neck of that guitar. It's pinky, looks like this. He caught me up, he goes, Yo Bobby, especially, was awesome. But if you ever call me giant,

make it again, I'm gonna fucking choke you. Wow. I go, well, I'm just gonna have to rework that giant word. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So you're in porn now. When did you get, because you're not a spring chicken sweetie, you're, you're, you're 36 now. You're 36.

You got to deport when you were around 30, right? 30. Do a comedy for two years. Correct. Well, about a year and a half. A year and a half. And what, no, you LA based. Yeah.

And then you came to New York. Yeah. And you have kids. You have a family. You have have a husband you have a boyfriend What do you got? No kids not married. I do have a boyfriend. Is he a comic or is he a porn star neither? So what does he do? He owns his own business. Oh, that's nice. That must be nice Well, I normally the guys that I date and the guys that are

Richie is. Too completely different groups. Like I like fucking like hipster, like just kind of douchey guys, but the guys that I dated normally have their shit together and a little bit older. Right. That's good for you.

Yeah. Right? Okay, so you're in porn. You're doing all right. What made you get out of the business? You look like you have fun. I wasn't having fun. Didn't look like you were miserable. Would you catch a nice fucking herpy?

What happened? No, thank God on that. No, it's just the stress of the business. There's really not a lot of money in it anymore. I'm obviously getting older. And there's drama in the business that I just didn't really want to do. So you got into comedy.

Yeah, I mean, there you go. So much better. There's an old exact same story of renecators career. There was a lot of drama, she's getting a little older. It's got a acting. I'm going to send in with him. Well, it's not bad. He's got an M.M.A. blood guessy.

It's just passion. Yeah, it's just 36 is not that old at all. For porn? Oh, for porn. It's because. Well, no, I was automatically dubbed a mill. You need to eat that microphone, baby. Yeah, no, well, you don't have to blow it. Oh for porn. It's because. Well no, I was automatically dubbed a mill. You need to eat that microphone baby. No, well you don't have to blow it, just eat it.

She was like it's actually kind of small from what I'm using. Pinky mic. You just gotta be right up on it. We're not, we're not, we're not, we're, Day perfect buckled. Oh my God, yes. Well you love it.

Well now there's some, now there's come on your mic cover. What's wrong with you? Don't make me laugh dude, my belt buckles hurt. I really, I'm gonna have to fix this at a certain point. I'm gonna have to get up and undo this. I'm gonna have to get a good, a good, a good bi-pass surgery. What? Huh? Take that from them. Take that. Take that. Take that. Take that. And pass it on around. So you, so you, so you come, you got out of the, you didn't get out of the business to do stand-up though, right? Not technically. No, like I got out, stand-up was definitely something that I wanted to pursue. I just got out just to get out of the business to do stand up though, right? Not technically, no. Like I got out, stand up was definitely something that I wanted to pursue.

I just got out just to get out. Now, now it must be fucking nuts for you because now you tell everybody you're in porn. Now we all just want to see you titties because we saw you titties. Does that get old? Yeah. So after a while you're like,

oh go watch them on the internet. Yeah, I just sell people to Google them. Isn't it fucking, I mean, now do you hate the guys that, because it's a little comedy is mostly males? Now we know you're a porn star. Yeah. So these guys, these guys that you meet,

think they're gonna get with you. Do they think that because you're a porn star, you just, hey guys, you know what, I'm a little bored. Wanna smoke a cigarette? No, but I'd suck you dick if you're into that. Do they get, is that what what they do you get that vibe? No, actually a lot of it. You should.

No. Because we all scared you. We all have to be closer. You think they're gonna get in a little awkward. Scoop, go lock the door. No, you can't leave. The YKW did. No, surprisingly guys have actually I think maybe they might be a little intimidated for the fact that I've been in for

I'm fixing my thugs. Bob is born as a dad. I'm gonna turn this question up. It's certainly other than... It's hurting stomach. I think a lot of guys may be intimidated by... Oh God, that's a f**k. As long as you don't take anything else off.

Oh baby, you don't want to see my f**kin little mush. It really does. It looks like a baby bear dick. I've never seen a baby bear dick, but I'll take your word for it. So has anybody give you a fucking problem since you got the business? So everybody's cool with it.

No comments are trying to fuck you, come on. Well, I mean, there's guys that flirt with me, but I'm a flirt regardless. It doesn't mean I'm gonna fuck you. You mean that Bill Doors? Huh? Okay, you have a Bill Doors? I do know Bill Doors. It doesn't mean I'm gonna fuck up. You mean that Bill does? Huh? Okay, yes. You have a Bill Doors?

I do know Bill Doors. It's my fucking idol, bro, one day I'm gonna become Bill Doors. The cold first ever. There's two types of girls in this world. You gotta decide. You're gonna be a nice girl or who? You guys wanna follow the most unfunny vine in the history of vines? My name is Bill Doors.

The worst vines ever. He wasn't to come on. Of course he does. His daughter also wants to find him but you know what you checked us. What's wrong with you? What for tell him the truth? You gonna come at me? I'm not coming at you. I'm just saying. It's just saying there's gotta be a line somewhere. There's gotta be a line line There's got to be a line. He's got it's behind the line. There is a line fucking three miles back there I hope it works out. I really do I hope I hope fucking that era comes back where you can spit into a pitune This is what happens when both your parents died and you don't become a superhero Lewis I'm not a superhero, Lewis. I caught me on the end with a superhero.

So now do you got, you know these people in the room, right? Yeah. And so now you stand up. What did you talk about being a porn star? Yeah, it's basically a lot based on my career. I mean, don't you think that's fucking you a little bit? That's setting, you're up there talking about being a porn star. Immediately, the women in the audience are gonna go fuck this.

A lot of times, but I think the way that I present myself, I try not to be... It's pretty cool. Over there. Present. That's the way Lewis would like me on stage, obviously. But no, like, I joke about how horrible I look on HD TV, and I talk about...

I look like a registered sex offender, like one of the things. Well, I'm in 240 paid, don't worry. I'm worth 7 toy. Because it's her story. I mean, that's her truth. That's her yelling. No, I'm saying. But I'm going to tell you, there's a movement, though, in the feminist community.

They really support porn stars and women kind of taking control of sexuality and their bodies. So I think especially with younger women, like college-aged girls, I think you'd probably get more support than hate, no? Yeah. Women actually tend to like me because I'm honest. Well you're trying to, you're trying to, I mean look, get out of your honest. Yeah.

Transfiring from porn to mainstream is a tough thing. Yeah. They've been trying to do it for years and not that many people can do it. And some people do it and then they, they wind up back in it. Like Jenna Jamison? Jenna Jamison, right? Is four years or so? I mean, what happened to her?

She's a hot man. She looks like shit. She likes the drugs. She likes a lot of drugs. Okay. So you don't use drugs? Oh, no. Like, hot.

That doesn't count to be that. Oh, it counts to me. I'm recovering at 30 years. Oh, okay. But go ahead. I just didn't mean it. I was doing this. Hot. didn't mean to have to this. That pot doesn't count, she said.

The pot doesn't count. I mean, the fucking gutter with a needle in my asshole, the pizza in my mouth. Fucking training nuts, training pubes on my lip. Pot didn't count. In other words, your heaven. My bobs in heaven. Hey, you know, comics want to do like a comedy central or an HBO or a letterman or whatever. Do you start making like videos in a basement and hope to get like vivid and wicked? You know what I mean?

Like is that the... There's people that do that. The amateur part. Are you like Anderson Cooper? It's like a few. We just sent yourself to the valley and sucked a dick in a corner. I just made your way up. No, really.

Is that how it happens? No. Well, I mean, there's a lot of couples and stuff that do the amateur porn thing. And a lot of them just do it for themselves, because they make a lot more money than actually getting into the mainstream porn industry and getting hired by different companies. If you run your own thing, I had my own pay site and stuff like that, you can make more money doing it that way, but just the way porn industry is now, there's not a lot of things.

What was your thing on Eagles.com? Was that it? It's great site. It's the webmaster. It was the webmaster. It was a Lea Janine on censor.com. I would just have, because I have natural pittits, so Those aren't real. Yeah, those are real

Wait a minute you watched and you couldn't tell real tits from fainted. I'm trying to get you to pull them out I'm over here. I got you in the thing I got you in the middle seat for a fucking Have you in the middle seat? I'm trying to get views goddamn we get kicked off of YouTube though, right? Yeah, no YouTube though right yeah no no no no we can blur it out I can come down ISIS you want to No, no that they were not to the woman's form We showed the tips in here. Oh, what was that girl? No, by Lee dimmer was the girl who showed her boobies. Oh Shannon did she show her titties without me? No, no, no, what was a sexy girl that showed her boobies once

beautiful and I What anyways, all right? So anyway Shannon did she show her titties without me? No, no, no, no. What was the sexy girl that showed her boobies once? Beauty. And I... What? Anyways. Alright, so anyways, so your site you dealt with what? What was your thing? Oh, just sacks I did a bunch. So it was just real sweet quotes. It was no like a mommy thing or a financial tip, uh, like random, random scenes that they do like a three-sem scene where I'm cheating on someone with someone

or the baby said the one he talking this is like pet number one I'm sure he'll be red to me the one uh she was like I don't know if you were the girl was a baby center or if you were the stepmom the soccer one what was the chick's name because she's smoking hot Jesse Rogers yes yes yes what was the scenario get to the scenario? I don't give a fuck about names Well, you the mom. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Now go now go now That fucking charrow

It's a bunch of creeps and they're going you fucking suck And now my boots are touching that's awkward Those are awesome this is the best podcast ever. Why does it smell like bacon now? I... Bacon tits. I did have bacon for breakfast, so I was wondering what you were doing. You just lost a couple of crumbles in there? I lose so much food down here at 3D. Wow, it's like a... It's like a sucker fish. I'll fucking clean them for you.

That's like the perfect tip for me. You find muffins and bacon. Fuck it, piece of fresh toast. Dr. Pepper coming out of him. So now you're off the porn, right? Was that a hard thing to kick? Because I mean, it was such a lucrative business for you and you were good at it. You had your fan base.

Now you're cutting off all these Chinese guys, right? All these Asians are going away, you go! And the Japanese actually really like me. Yeah, big time, yeah. The fans get mad at you, Quitt. Yeah, I still have people today that will tweet me pictures of myself, which really kind of creeps me out, because it's like, I'm just letting you go.

Oh, you have time. Fuck you. It was a mistake. It's like, I'm just going to send you a picture of you, so you know I'm looking at you. It's like I'm just gonna send you a picture of you. So you know I'm looking at you. It's like I'm gonna do this. My scenario that I would love, oh, I would love, is okay, you, so your Yanis's girlfriend

or whatever husband, in one of the cases. Your Yanis's husband. All right, so you're Yanis, here's the scenario. I'm telling you a follow-up. Yanis owns this cabin, whatever in the woods. I'm on your phone. Yana, Yana owns this cabin, you know, whatever in the woods. I get invited up, I'm Yana's his best friend, you know, but we haven't met yet, you're his girlfriend, you know, what if so, now I come up and you guys are kind of fighting

before I get up and then, You thought about this a lot, haven't you? Why are you checking my phone? Why the fuck are you checking my phone? So he's kind of mean to you, whatever. And then, you know, whatever we go in, and there's only one, there's only one shower and it's in your bedroom But it's you know late at night and I I kind of come in and he's sleeping and I walk in I'm like oh shit

I was like take can I take a shower and you're like Yeah, yeah, go ahead like you're not into me enough, but you like yeah, yeah, go ahead first you just just a giant baby Why you gotta share this? Because I took a shit and there's nothing. But I did it to do it with my pants. No more toilet paper. You said it to me. You said it to me.

So you're like, yeah, yeah, just be quiet because he's a harmless. That's what you say. No, I'm a harmless sleeping. And I go, okay, okay, and I go in, I'm taking a shower. And you kind of get up and you peek in. You're a little, you know, you're like, you peek in a little bit and you like what you see,

but you run back as you see me shutting the water off. And as I'm coming out, there's no way she's gonna like what she sees. So, in my fantasy, and then you're, we have a loud water fart. We have a stunt cock, okay? It's a stunt cock. It's a fantasy, you guys, let them have it. So then I come, how would you like watching a guy watch these sub?

I, you both had two stinkers and you failed them in the middle. I stopped. I was cut that bandana and asked. Seriously. So as I come out, I'm like tiptoeing, and my floor is still there. The house is still shaking. So you don't really have to talk over each other.

The rickfrogs are still jumping to get good ones in. The sound of workers driving away. So you know what's the point? What the fuck is that sound? What is that? Jesus Christ! The basement! It's an elephant in the living room.

Are we under attack? Are we under attack? So... So... So... So... It's an elephant in the living room. Are we under attack? So, so, so, so, I was a prep. So, Yann, I come out and I'm, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, are you in a towel or?

I'm, I'm just in the towel. He's in two towels, can I just, I'm in the towel. It's a roll, it's a roll. It's a roll, but it's my roll, but It was built for me. It's an area rug It's an area rug I yelled at you too. I came down on you now you can plug And but here's the thing you're doing it. You're not talking over each other

So I I'm good with it. I'm gonna eat it over each other. I'm good. All. But here's the thing, you're doing it. You're not talking over each other. So I'm good with it. I'm going to get it over each other. I'm good. All right, here we go. So now I'm in my robe and as I'm coming out, I turn, because I drop something. Is it like the secretary of the shoulder? No, I turn and my robe opens and I see you looking at it.

And you try and it see you looking at it. And you're trying to find it. And it pulls out her monical. I told you we have a stunt thing. And she pulls out a monical. She's got her monical on her. You look and you pull out her look at her. So she pulls out her magnified app.

No, so it opens on her. And I see you looking right at me. And I literally whisper sorry. And I at me and I and I I literally was pressurized and I go to I'm sorry. I'm really sorry and I go to tighten my robe and you go you shake your head you go come here and I'm like no you're like come here and I'm like fucking no my friend that's my friend he's sleeping on the other outside and you go you go Camille or I'll scream and I go so I So I so now so I so I come over I come over I come over Why you don't hear

That's unchannel tell you! That's sick! You're talking and you're sleeping again! Well, that's a good birth point! That's sick! So then I go, I come over, I walk over and you try to open my rope. And I'm like, I'm telling you now And you forcefully open my rope and then you start blowing me but then you're gonna start to wake up a little bit

That's it. That's it. Hello. Why don't we try to go to him? Where we at? This is crazy. Hello? That's it Bobby where you at? What's it going with my girlfriend? This is secret as Janice is always Marisa. Janice is just character. All these shit, Bobby, I didn't know your dick was that big. I tried to get in on this stuff, she healed.

Because he wake up and then watch watch and then he's my cockle No, there's no we get a fuck we have to fuck and do everything like real quietly While he sleeps in the bed. How are you gonna do that if you still have to breathe? It's a fizz. It's a fucking... And I like the stairs. These fuzz. You gotta be quiet. You're on a stop.

Alright, alright. Listen, we get it. We get it. I'm fat. I lost 10 pounds. Yeah, you look good. But that would be my fantasy. That's a good fantasy to have. Isn't that a good one?

I always felt like I should write porn. You could. I think I could do some good porn. That was so. I don't even know if you can spell the word porn. Uh oh. He's like, I'm going to find something to throw at you. Now I know why that good one was so good.

I'm a volume guy. I never denied that. Yeah. Yeah. So now you're in comedy two a year and a half. It's gotta be tough. It is. I mean, it's different, but I like it.

Yeah, it is a little different. Different than porn. A little bit. What are you gonna do if you go on mainstream? Say you get on last comic standing. That's going to come up and it's going to fuck you. At some point, do you think as a society, we're ready, the middle America is ready to go, hey, you know what?

I mean, because you don't mind porn, you don't hate your porn life, you embrace it. Yeah. But that's not just in comedy, that's like in life. I think when you do go into porn, you have to make the decision that one day you're not going to be in porn, you might work at a fucking dentist office and that might come up one day So it's the same challenge just being an exporn star and anything

Has there been any porn star boy or girl that has made it as a stand-up comedian? Well actually Ron Jeremy started out as a stand-up comedian before he did porn has there been any Comic Was April may see a porn star just a strip a dancer it out as a stand-up comedian before he did porn. Has there been any comic and- Biggest Souls World? What is made was April, may I see a porn star? Just a strip. A dancer. Well, she's a stripper. Wasn't she?

I have no idea. I think she was. I think she was. She was on playboy. I thought. Really? There's a bunch of girls that have been dancers that I know of, but not actual porn.

So you're never going back to porn. You're done. It's a wrap. No, no, no. What do you mean you hope not? What do you mean you say that? No, because a lot of times people always go back. Like find some reason go back either they get a divorce

or they need the money. But I was really smart and I saved up a bunch of money and I don't ever want to get married. So you have little nest egg that if worse comes... You worked out worse comes to worse. I'll be able to have an apartment do my stand up and fucking and live the rest of my days I go to school right now too for psychology really you're gonna be you're gonna be a therapist sex therapist Really, you want to do a comical sex therapist. Can you say that again? That was hot sex there I don't think you can do that, but I'm baby don't do that to people What the sex therapy? I'm not gonna if I was gonna sex there with you

You're gonna you're gonna make me worse You're gonna do a thing about fucking you. Yeah, totally. I'm with you on that a million I'm just gonna be if I want sex if it's got to be from like some ugly fucking yeah Like fucking Lewis if I want to like I think it's a rubber clits stop giving your mother vibrators you fucking load attack Do you only talk about doing porn on stage already have other kids like like right now? Yeah, but I do have a lot more like that's like I have actually years of notebooks because it's something that I want to get into for a while It's just that right now. That's what I just expect the audience wants to hear

Yeah, she's only been doing comedy. What is it? Like you got it by yourself. Yeah, you got us in the beginning It's about trying to figure out how to kill and you know, what's funny and then I think you take a while You know later on you start talking about what's really really more into you and that's awesome though Well, it takes you know takes a while to get comfortable up there and stuff like that I think sex therapies like there should be more of that. I think a lot of us have some people I can use it. But what I really wanted to do is actually research the porn industry and come up with some

new statistics because a lot of people, a lot of the research that's been done, it's all been very negative and biased about how all porn stars have been sexually abused or something like that. I was never sexually abused. That you know of, not yet. Yeah. Well, that is why you're over there. Not so you see this day.

And I'm over here. Well, I mean, but look, a lot of porn stars, if you do, you know, you see the aftermath of porn. And a lot of them fucking, you know, it's that industry is a tough industry to survive. Oh, I bet you're talking about gaping assholes. No, mine does not do that. Yeah, even nice bumhole.

Thank you. I can say that without being offensive. But yeah, it does eat people alive. I mean, the business we're in, fucking eats people alive too. But once you make a lot of money at something like that, it's probably hard to go get a job at fucking Starbucks. Or be a waitress.

You know what I mean? Because number one, if you're a comic, if you go give, I saw you a comedy club, oh that's great. Hey, did I just jerk off to you? It's like, oh fuck. It's a weird thing to come back from. I mean, when you make it, how long is that,

how long is a lifetime, how long is the career of a porn star? Of a porn star. Well, I think Lisa Ann is probably the best example. Like, we'll even need her hardly. She's been, like, she still performs to do. She still make good money. She's a Bret Farr.

As far as, like, I'm sure she does. That's awesome. Coming straight in a flush. The Bret Farr, she's played for many teams. Would you like, you know how, like, if you cut onions for eight hours You go home the last thing you want to do is see an onion. Was that like you with cock where you just basically like If I see you want to one of these things sometimes, but not all of the shoes to just focus on with onions

Like he said he lost some out there Eric what what kind of porn do you like? Training now lately. It's been getting tamer and tamer like Downblows porn what yeah, where there's like they come in and they're like cleaning the room and then just leaning over and you're starting to see I get it though. Wait a minute. It's stop for one second. Yeah, so they don't show any of the tit over Jaina. They don't stop it. Not at very at the beginning they walk in and they're talking to you like POV style And they're like making your bed and you're still in the room, right? As they're leaning over the shirt starts dangling down and then it's starting to come off a little bit and then it builds up and builds up I like a bone. Yeah, it's a really slow burn, but then it kicks.

Because a lot of the times now, you go and look at clips, they're already fucking stuff. It's like already doing everything. And it's like there's nothing here for me. Yeah, I love a slow build. I love a slow build. And that's going to check. What's that called again? Downblows porn.

Downblows. They do that. I like the name. That sounds like a good soft downblows porn downblows. I like the name That sounds like a good softball team downblows for a while. It was casting I don't know casting couch out of the slope That was was it ignored that Bobby just said the worst joke in the history of the show that was a joke That was a joke that was no I am thinking of open up softball team for the right cast network Downblows. I'm trying to think I'm trying to think of names I don't want it I'm a

a a a a a a a a

a a a a a a a a a a a a a a

a a a a a a a a a a a a on the verge of being a rapist. That's why you can't get build up. Not because I have a baby sleeping in the other room, and I have to jerk off dry in the bathroom quietly with no sound on. Oh, oh, oh, oh. So the back of the toilet lid just clang. Oh, real ass babies. Real ass baby. He's nuts or annoying. His giz just comes out. Fuck you, you fucking quay.

He's skimming by his ear. He's got a little brother. I said, ever grand up in. Then he gets in the mirror. Oh, oh, oh,

I could actually see him doing that. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna do what you fucking fantasies. I know you can. What you think she's hot for you? I'll leave a fucking throw it down with me. You think she throw it down for me? I think she throw it down. Not for me. She's seeing a guy now. But if she's single, I bet you Lewis is really gentle and bed like he's aggressive and life-per-end bed. I think not with many.

Another guy is just fucking. Let's get this over with. You kiss me. I kiss you right in his dick in this dick. Look, you know he just sucks. He goes all the way down to the balls. Do you cop him? So we got a cop in that thing. I can actually answer that for you, because he's blown me. Yes.

He actually reaches through and pushes, uses your ass and pushes your fucking... Think of like, you know, like pizza, the crust is a handle on it. His ass becomes a handle on the blowjob bite. Like a push-up popsicle. It's kinda like you gotta get up in. Let's go to the chat room real quick.

Give me the live chat room. Just my dad, you're a faggot, I just own you. What do we got in the chat room? Anybody have any good questions in there, Depot? Aaron J. Yeah. Aaron J. Morse asks, YKWD gangbang. Just Leslie says gag reflex.

Practice makes perfect. Just Leslie also says she probably has a wealth of good premises with her history though. Come on guys, step it up in the chat room here. Yeah, Jesus Christ. People always try to be very philosophical. Who's your favorite chicken porn right now? You know, it's really hard for me to watch porn considering I know so many people in it and like I'm saying it's like a lighting guy watching a movie

Yeah, that's lighting Yeah, like it's like all I do is just start critiquing Is that one chick who's getting a lot of feedback from Lebanon? She's me a Khalifa She's not even hot, but I can jerk off to it now because she's getting the I can't hear what he's saying. I don't think she's that hot, but because she's getting death threats. She's really not that, huh? She's hot. She's okay. Who is she? She's a pretty cool 20, 21 years old. She's the most research porn star. Scientist a researcher. She's the most document. Most searched on Pornhub right now.

On Pornhub and that's only on Pornhub. But Pornhub is the 11th most used website in the world. We're not going to talk about Pornhub. Why? Because they basically destroy the industry. Why do you say that? Because they give it away for free. Yeah, I don't know later it's a question. Because they give it away for free.

I thought that they... Yeah, that's a ploy because companies actually had to start doing that because they were losing so much money. How do you know what's a ploy when I didn't even ask it? Because there's certain companies that have apps on. Yes, she's still not at it. She's still in it. She's gonna know what you're gonna have.

She's giving it away. She's giving it away. She's gonna know what you're gonna have. She's gonna know what you're gonna have. She's gonna know what you're gonna have. She's gonna know what you're gonna have. She's gonna know what you're gonna have. She's gonna know what you're gonna have.

She's gonna know what you're gonna have. She's gonna know what you're gonna have. She's gonna know what you're gonna have. She's gonna know what you're gonna have. She's gonna know what you're gonna have. that actually have like scenes on there that promote it right no i'm saying i thought that they gave i thought those those uh... clitty and portham and youtube and red tube they gave money to the the actual uh... videos of the people who produced the videos they make money off of that now so all that stuff is just free for basically what youtube is how people could just post videos on it that's exactly that's exactly what porn hub is people will go and steal Movies and stuff like that and then post it on porn. I don't think it away with that because that's the way the internet

Where they have to get me that don't feel bad The same way like on YouTube people fight it like regularly like if you guys post a song from Pantera Pantera's people will come and say hey hey, that's our song copyright boom, take it down. They don't have the same type of resources that a major company, a major movie company, or a major record company would have. So they can only do so much. So what the point industry had to do is

they had to kind of embrace this free model and now there's all these little extras. So you go and watch something, and you go, all right, this isn't HD. I'm not getting every, all the build up. I'm not getting after the com shot. I'm only getting the seven or eight minute clip, but I really like the production. I really like the uniqueness of this casting couch. I ended up buying a casting couch membership. I tried it out for like three months,

because it was like four bucks a month, because I really enjoyed the scenes that I saw on porn hub. And I was like, well, why not you'd for 12 bucks. I'll try it out for three months. I canceled it, but most people don't. So it's not that it doesn't work. It's not that the system doesn't work, but it kind of had it change the system in general because back in the day, you spend 50 bucks on a DVD. I've never won a DVD. I remember going to the store and, you know,

just I will go aisle after aisle after aisle. Searching for shim-el-corn. And you're trying to sneak out of there we're here. Hey give me this lezzo and give me this for sure sure sure. I've got five and one. Hold on a second.

You guys are all, what'd you just say? I've done work with some trainees. Who, who, come on talk to them. Tiffany, Tiffany star and Joan Albrook. Okay, and what'd you do with them? I had sex. Oh my god. No, but what did you do?

Like, did they fuck you? Green party. Yeah. Well, one was actually just a blow blowjob see say that was a good question now No, yeah, no, no that well I was the end. I was opposed to the cum swap. Yeah, I'm done that but Fucking hate the cum swap now. I have to be the one I don't like it in the you know When they drip it in the it's a girl spit coming your mouth is like no as a yeah shits and giggles yeah it happens all the time

but that's the least closer what's your closer it's coming your mouth from row of every close these questions like she brings a guy on stage fucking hack she's doing that come in the mouth bit yeah what's just gonna get tarry fucking ass

all stripped down and run off What's some is it is it the guys who like tranny porn? Are they gay? Hey, let me ask you turn down by that What about the guy who dresses up like a woman? That what about the guy who dresses up like a woman I want her back on by the way She's not late Did she gain weight too? She loses it in gains it, depending on the same shit that I'd do. That's it! Fuckin' y'all.

It's fucking stupid. So you were traded. You know Bailey J? I know. I don't think I've ever met Bailey. You should meet her. You guys are getting along, man. Yeah.

You look like her husband. Do I? Yeah. I also heard I look like Anthony who me a sister you do you look like Don like what you You said she looked like her husband. Well, yeah, he's feminine. That's fucking rude. I was hot. It was a Well, that's not good carried away You know you know, I'll tell you what you are And I've already said you're my speed when when before I said she's my type of girl pop is not very fast There's gotta be a line. There has to be a line of decency. There has to be a line. You're unconventionally good looking That's what I would say good looking. I don't think what's that does she kind of look like Mackenzie Phillips? Yeah, yeah

Yeah, that's a good point. Here's the from the one day at a time, right? You have what's your name? Van Halen's wife. What's your name? Valerie Burton. You have Valerie Burton, Ellie, who's conventionally what everybody wants. And then you have the sister, what's your name? McKenzie.

McKenzie Philip, who I thought was hot. And nobody, everybody was like, no, you want this one. I like McKenzie. I think she was. No, I think Olivia's conventionally good looking. I think she's, I think she's, she's not the, you're not the conventional porn star No, not blonde hair died perfect kids perfect everything

I would make to differ on the perfect it's so you have perfect dick because it's natural to me But you know this some of those guys who love fake Yeah, I fucking hate that my gravity is a bitch. What's wrong? She fucking gets made up put some fucking heels on she's a 10 boom It's true With a lamb's mobs that playing in the background welcome to comedy baby Hey, do you want to be a guest on you know what dude? Hey, you want to be a guest on you know what dude? Not cried in a long time. Howdy. Are you been feeling too good about yourself? Come on down and wait for Louis J Gomez to take it away.

Shit, you're through. Shit down the neck of your confidence. You say 88. 99 seconds. Why is that worse? Were you feeling pretty today? I'm going down so we can put a stopper down. Stop it. You're being an asshole.

I'm being an asshole. We're saying she's pretty. We're saying she's pretty. I'm saying she's pretty. Is that what you're saying? We're saying she's pretty. Absolutely. Because I said she's pretty and you said,

let's not get carried away now. It was a joke. It was a fucking joke. I hit by a truck and then he says, yeah, 96 calling it. I think she's, I think she's attending 96. If that's not a compliment, I think I'm gonna say she's fucking pretty. She's tall. She's my speed.

I love, I would take her over a fucking 90% of the chicks out there. That's the type of girl I like. I'm saying conventionally society, even if she's not valid. She knows what I'm saying. Even in porn, she's not valid, but now she's fucking the other one. What's her name? Mackenzie Phillips.

She's Mackenzie. She's the one you don't remember her name. Can I see Mackenzie Phillips? I want to see Mackenzie Phillips. I've never seen her. Yeah bring up. But not bring her up. No, not now.

I want to see Bella, Bella Brunelli as well. Yeah, can we bring that up real quick? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We'll bring it up. We'll see you again. I'm sorry. I mean anyways, but that, see when I was watching you point to, it's actually a turn on because some of those

smoke in hot Barbie doll chicks Upstairs It's just a weird look it. I'm not saying that they're shitty people or whatever But it's almost like they're just and you were just hanging out with this guy You were just hanging out with this guy you almost like a dick. I'm tag. I'm tweeting right now It was this fucking real moment that actually I thought was fucking made me happy Okay, that's Tyler Bertinelli and then where's the Allison Janie you know who Riley Reed is I like Riley

Look at Mackenzie's fucking beautiful. I think I'm on a Riley Reed Right now like looking at celebrity Look at all his friends. He Phillips. We're looking at a lot of people that way more famous than anybody in the show Alia Janine Alia Mackenzie's great J.A.N.I.N.E. I'm gonna go down. No, I think I think yeah, Mackenzie Phillips. What about Valerie? Bring up Valerie? I had her right here Jay Jay what do you go? J.A.N.I.N.

Valerie Burton Ellie. Yeah, Valerie I'm exactly back in the day not now Van Halen days Van Halen days? Van Halen days. Yeah, I don't wanna see him now. She looks like fucking somebody's aunt now. Yeah, no, Ellie is hot. But no, here's the thing, we don't hold women to a different standard than we hold men.

The same way that we all bust each other's balls. I called Scopo, I said his face is disgusting today. Don't listen to this fucking, this feminist. Yeah, don't listen to this feminist. Which joke, and he knows we're kidding. She wants to be a fucking comic and come like I was there a thing with Liz Meila here somebody gave her shit and she like got upset yeah well that was weird I'll tell you why that was weird why that was well seven doesn't speak the language and still comes on the show

I'm a P nose my mouth right now because it's his fourth language I need some letter look at she's Look, she's absolutely more relaxed because of, you know, she, with her... Who's everyone seems to get plowed by Black Hawk? Exactly. It's an easy one. Because it's an icebreaker. Ooh, I got her in a glory hole right now.

All right. Listen. Listen. All right. Can we not do that? Listen, what about at least get to the cum scene? Shut up. You're just, you're just,

what a police is. You're a flip-fopper. Hey, you standing up for women's rights. Absolutely. And now you fucking watch and you're taking the butt. I Absolutely Take in the butt burn the bra's no My apps right now, geez, hang on listen. Here's a deal. Good. Here's a deal is that Most of the deal I feel like you sitting on your hands Because I showed me that video. I'm just thinking about it now. I want another deal, say it.

What I'm saying is, she's cool with it. Okay, that girl, I don't know where it has to be. I don't know where, I don't know where with it. This, he goes, hey, you got nice, you got nice titties. It was just out of nowhere and we weren't even on the top. And in fact, then he got those words together. That's a mildest. That's, look it. Everyone should have applauded him, honestly. There should be a bridge named after the moment. I know where and we weren't even on the top of the fact that he got those words together Everyone should applaud him honestly there should be a bridge named after the moment. He was trying

He was trying to be funny, but it was a weird even for me. I was like what I know her She doesn't take those type of compliments weird. She's cool. I like her. She's a sweet check. She's funny Yeah, I don't know. It's just a different personality I mean it's just it's just like we can tell you phenomenal tips and you'd be like, thanks. Thanks, don't cold. Yeah, but at any time, you said at the beginning to it gets a little fucking annoying after. Because you need to transfer.

It's gonna be hard though, because you're talking about porn, you're in porn. We can go watch you, like we're all gonna tonight again. And you run one, I already run one out to it. And those jokes right there are gonna get fucking old for you in this business. To a certain extent, well, it's like, like you, if someone needs you

and they ask you to tell a joke, when you first meet them, it's like, well, I'm not a monkey, I'm not. People do the porn stuff. You're a porn star? Can you suck my cock? I spit in my ass. Guys, let her finish it.

Let her finish. Spit in my ass. I guess we know what kind of porn you like. All right. Oh, you did porn. Can you spit directly into my ass hole I guess we know what kind of porn you like You did porn can you spit directly into my ass? Somebody like I like the venom coming out of my right now. All right, so so what so you were saying before there was 90 fucking jokes and this Mike fat Fiegega There you go. You're calling Mike Feagoglio.

There you go. Feagoglio. Thank you. Thank you. Don't call. I'm saying that it's like these comments as you're going to get old to you. And you said, you were talking about like how people come up

and say, hey, tell me your joke. But it's not this. Yeah. I get what you're saying. But it's like, it's a little annoying. Hey, be funny. But you know, you can hey, be dirty. It's a little, it's a little fucking, a little more, a little's a little annoying. Hey, be funny, but you know you can hey be dirty It's a little it's a little fucking a little more a little different I think same as fat jokes same as marisa jokes Same as like that parents joke. That's not the same. That's actually really hurt

My parents are dead In some stuff into a coma. That's his choice you put a dress dress on, that's your choice. My parents were tensed for me. That's God's choice. That was their choice. They're like, this kid didn't put in the ass. One of them. My dad took extra risks because he didn't like me. So you're not sensitive about it, though.

No, and I can't be. I think that would be really ridiculous. If I was, I mean, I'm not sensitive. I'm supposed to be sure. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what don't know. This is called the bomb band. Oh, okay. Or if you're from Haiti, Haga Sheep.

And then whoever says a shitty joke and a bomb, you have to tie it around your microphone. So we know who the last person said the shitty bad joke. All right. And then he has that a lot. Yeah, yeah. A lot. It's all over there a lot. You had it twice already since I've been here Don't get mad at me. I get it a lot too. I must say Because you got to take chance on the show What was the last one I said he over here? He's never had it because he said three words the whole time

Well, he's fucking because you yeah a lot say something Eric. Hi Lewis. How are you? You talk like I'm in pain like I'm on fire Everything hurts so much That's actually how you sound like you're paying all the time On Jesus Christ Was a lot of the thing I've ever heard of my life. He's not animated too when he does his stuff up at the serious XM And I see it. I'm just walking past I can't hear what he's saying But you just seem feeling around in the little studio. That's right. Have you been unknown yet? Not yet

She get him on I think so that he's she'd get him on. Yeah, he'll Be a nice hot one bring him with you next time. Yeah, that's not a carried away Bring me with you Bobby. I'm not gonna happen. I did anything you show last week. I know. I know. I get it. Yeah, I know. I told them that you should have you on.

I was proactive with that. I tell everybody that. I just told them to have you on. What do you want me to do? I got a long way. Don't call them of them. You should have money. He'd be funny.

You should have to tell OPA. You should have Yannis on. You had Yannis on though, right? Sam has on his show. Oh yeah. I was on Sam's show too. I've been everywhere except for ONA. ONA.

Really? And Vos's show too, yeah. You should have Mike Cronin. I have an Vos's show. Thank you, Deepu. Do whatever you get to do, Deepu. Don't get mad. I'm a manadrian over there hooked it up with Vos's show.

Really? Who got you his number? That's right. That's right, me. He'll reach me all the way from fresh. Let's take a village. Let's take a right. That's right, me. Who reached me all the way from fresh? All right, let's take a little village. Let's take a second. A little village, first of all.

Let's take a second to pat each other on the back right? I'm always beating my phone up her. Scopo just credit it. No, no, Adrian says he's name some comics and I said Lewis. Lewis Jake Gomez. That was for Boston mine like three weeks earlier. I had Lewis in mind. Say? That's right three weeks earlier I lose in mind say that's right We got some volatile comments on the chat if you want to yeah, let's go

Omar to fresh. He says why is comedy like a going back to school option for a failed career You've never been funny and now you think you're the red fox of come jokes Dan soda think you're the red fox of cum jokes. What is it, is that Dan Soda? No, it's over there. I'm kidding, of course. How funny would that be of Lewis? What the fuck, that even is a phone?

Can I just say that, what the fuck is that? It sounds like they know you or they, what the fuck is that? Sounds like a problem. That would be very possible. Is that actually, I have quite a few questions. Not sure, I don't, I've never heard of the next four. Where is that, read that again.

They trail that. Why is it what? Read the whole thing again? Yeah, read it again, because it's a long one. And make sure you look at Ali and her face while you're sitting there. So let me write it in the eyes as you say this. Why is comedy like a going back to school option

for a failed career? Bum bum bum. You've never been funny. And now you think you're the red fox of come jokes? Oh, Bob. Bob, what's the name of that? That guy's username is Omerta Freshy. throw. Oh, I like the word freshy. Yeah That's why that's I give you know what you're saying though because this one happens a lot with like professional wrestlers

real quick it goes irug needs tequila and donuts All right, got it. But that's what happens a lot though, when Dustin Diamond is the biggest example of all who like his acting career fizzled out and then he sort of do in standup. So I get that concept. Yeah, make a lot of guys do it. That's kind of what he's saying, but you're not, you shouldn't be pigeonholed in that, because you are funny.

By the way, I've hung out with Alia Bunch. She is very very funny So for him to say that that's kind of crazy and the truth is all it ever takes anybody to start doing comedy Hey is some dude is hanging out with you or some chicks hanging out and you say hey, you're really fun. You're not phone Yannis Sorry, I was checking something very I don't give you shit. You was looking at my porn again It's not as important as my show is that what Lewis said is true Was that happening like hanging around the porn set?

The guys were like, talent each other off and someone's like, you're funny, you should try stand up. Oh, actually a bunch of times, yeah, throughout my whole life. And that's the only reason anybody should ever try stand up. So don't give a fuck if you were doing porn

or if you're fucking in a talent. If people think you're fine, you're the right to get caught. That's a very strong one. But here's the thing, she's gonna have to accept whatever you did porn. Oh, I got destroyed when I did Anthony Cooomingo show, like on the reddit thing. You get to have to accept whatever you did or I got destroyed when I did Anthony Coomingo show like on the reddit thing.

You're just gonna have to take that. You used to that. I've had porn fans like give me death rats and just say some of the worst things humanly possible. I like some of the shit that these guys say is like a lot of the part. But here's the thing is that we're coming into this as unknowns in the shadows at these small little rooms

wherever the fuck we are, and we become better and better and better and better. By the time we come to New York, we're fucking good. So when we get that shot, most of us, and that's how we say it's harder to become a comic here. When you're a New York guy, to start, yeah. Because you always looked upon as the shitty comic.

You have to crawl yourself out of the hole of being an open mic, and you're a young comic. It's way harder to out of the hole of being an open mic. Yes, you're a young comic. It's way harder to live in New York and become a successful comedian. Anybody, he had to be three comics. Yeah. Down this was a rigor for the first seven years of his career.

Were you really? Were you? Not really. Were you, you told me that. I got actually used to black rooms. I didn't, I didn't. But did you do it like, yo, yo, yo, what's up? Were you in Paul you and Paul Verzi going yo. We got a new CD dropping next week. Yeah check it out It's fucking hip-hop dude fucking most mocks. I'm fucking dogs right after the sticks

Me and you know, but do you get any what up? Digging I got a controversial question what's it called interview you feel like 9 11 was the next I job. Yeah. Do you feel like other female comics resent you because of the attention you're getting because you did point four. Are you asking are you? No, I'm asking. Lea. Um, why do you get so sad? What happened? No, I'm just, you think that they're serious. Well, did you, did you, did you get any resentment because What happened? You think that they're serious. Let him ask that. Did you get any resentment because you're doing,

like you're probably on a lot of these shows because you used to be a porn star. And you're getting attention because of that. And are you getting any resentment from other female comics? And my second part of the question was that part of your plan to know that it would be intriguing that you were a porn star

who turned into a comedian. Well, the first part of the question, actually a lot of the female comics have been really cool. With me, that was one thing that I was really kind of nervous about. There was one girl that was really curious. She didn't know. I was a porn star until she heard my said and she had a bunch of questions about it. But other than that, a lot of the girls have actually been at least cool to my face. Like, I haven't seen anything or heard anything otherwise. And then the second part, I knew that it would help with anything that I did or it could hurt anything that I did, so I took the chance with it.

Do you drink some water? You have like a gummy type clickiness to your mouth? You like that, though, though. Yeah. Oh, you do. What? Yeah, for a year and a half in, right? Doing kumias show, doing, I mean, that's me. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I'm actually, and I run my own show and I get paid for it. By the way, if a woman would give you shit about that, it's so fucking it's hilarious because that's just, that's a microcosm of how women are just treated in this industry in general. You're, you're given more. And by the way, not just women, being good looking, being whatever, being fat, being black, being Hispanic, there's all these cards and some of them can be used to your advantage and for you to not take advantage of the

Opportunities presented to you would be fucking retarded basically, but white Yeah, being a white guy in comedy car Fuckin' bloating you're just a sh** up skinny white dude in the middle class You have to be skinny To be fat, it's pretty fucking hard. It's in thing dude if you're fat you could fucking go on a fat show Steering it there's fat shows Dollar side show up and you're paid in donuts you were fatty year ago. I'm so not now though We have another one of those if you

You should take that actually yeah,, fuck you, I told you. Try to slam me and then fucking bomb it. You go. Oh, Maritra Freshy says, tell Loose to show his mom belly and not his triceps. Oh, Maritra, you mother fucker. I explained your fucking shitty thing before, and I kind of had you fucking back to pieces shit I fucking hope you die cancer

One less YKWD fan bed sorry Bob Sorry to me show that fucking wax belly Not yet spring that was a spring by the way. I know I don't always write before shiprock I was a spray I can't wait to see that fucking just that lined up stomach. All right. I'll take that right there. Just give it a big hand. I'll tie that.

Take going down and pass it on. All right, well listen, I think it's, I mean, I didn't know what you were gonna be to be honest with you when you were gonna be the show. And look, it's a weird thing to come into this business. We're ruthless. we're fucking evil. We bust balls, we talk to each other's backs. But I think too, once you are funny,

and if you don't take yourself too serious, and you kind of get the joke on yourself, I mean, I think we accept very easy too. If you're not walking around being an asshole and you're trying to become a better comedian, and you're trying to ride jokes and stuff like that, I think we all get over it and we accept it. It looks like these guys already know you and fucking like you, which is half the fucking battle, right? It is actually. Yeah. It's a real easy. That's a, in the New York comedy scene, it's more than half

the battle, getting people to like you and know your name and remember your fucking name when you're walking No place. That's it dude the guys who go far in this industry It's because people go I like that guy. I want to watch him succeed. That's why you are with your Adam laughs dude, but we dumb truth now you're fucking shut up. Oh, can I get the Inside the actor-sitting music? Yes, okay Shut up. Hold on, can I get the, inside the actor's studio music? Yes, okay.

No, but until you, you were the fucking first dude that said, that guy's funny, that guy deserves a shot. And then other opportunities started opening up for me, who's you were the guy that fucking did that, but nobody else did that at all. Nobody, I wasn't, I wasn't walking into comedy clubs,

and I'm like, oh, that's Lewis, yeah, he's here now. Nobody gave a fuck, right, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So, you're right. I think that, and as long as you're not a fucking psychopath look man There's a couple people walking around right now that a fucking nuts A couple sociopaths and there's a couple of these fucking people that we need to just say hey listen Don't let them in the club anymore because they're gonna fucking want to take somebody else

I don't know what you do to the head of the bat. Yeah That's fucking nuts dude. Yeah, what about head of the bat. Yeah, but you see that's the way. That's fucking nuts dude. Yeah, what about open mic and Seattle? Yeah, I heard about that. Isn't this some crazy girl to stand now, fucking doing some crazy shit? What girl? I don't know, some fucking broad over here.

We just read one Patrick Post and just took it all. Yeah, really? Yeah. If I took every Patrick Post to heart, I'd fucking hate everybody in this industry. Did something crazy happen at the stand? Well, Seattle, an an open micro got banned from a comedy club and then he came back

and he hit the host with a baseball bat. No, no baseball bat. Yeah, fucking crazy. Yeah, but I wish there was, I kinda like that tough crowd area, you know? Like I'm so jealous. Man, I wish that was, don't you kinda have a dead? It's dead, it's not, you can't do it

because the comic that came up, it's just, we were all friends, we were all fucking, I think it exists here a little bit, to be honest, we are on this show, even the shit that's said here, sometimes people who listen to this, especially comics, I'm not going on that show, these guys just fucking mean to each other. There's a lot of funny shit, everything here I believe is said in funny. Of course.

You know, and, you know, no matter how much I say, fuck Lewis, I care about Lewis. Sure. You know, uh, I care. I feel like the podcast is like the, the, the, that, the tough crowd of, of, of this era. But, you know, you come on my podcast, it almost kind of being like, come hang on. But this guys, I don't fuck with, though. This guy's that, I don't, because you can't, I learn that, I learn that from tough crowd of this era. But you know, you come on my podcast, it almost kind of being like, come hang yourself. But this guys I don't fuck with though, this guys that I don't, because you can't, I learned that,

I learned that from tough crowd, there was guys that I'd walk up to and go, hey, what's up, you fucking, and they'd be like, what the fuck man? And it was just, it didn't work, it was just mean, it was fucking off. So there's guys that I say hi to, and there's guys that I don't fuck with

because they got hurt from it. And I don't, you know, you know, when I hurt anybody, that's the one thing the fans don't, the fans sometimes don't understand that, that we're mean to each other, but I'm not gonna be mean, I don't know you, I'm not gonna be mean to you if I don't like you.

I'm not gonna say fucked up shit to you, if I don't like you, I'm just gonna let you yap and then never have you on the show again, because I don't really fuck it, you know what I mean? But if I take a like it to you, you know, I'll fucking give you a nice jab. Absolutely. You can also give one back.

Absolutely. So, but a lot of the fans are just fucking viciously unsensored mean and I don't like that. I don't mind if it's funny, it's funny. But if you just try to hurt somebody's feelings, I think that's fucking terrible. Well, a lot of people like to hide behind their keyboards too and they could say whatever they want.

Yeah, I mean, I do that too. And it's a very small percentage of people. You know what I mean? It really is. It's a small... There's a new show coming out. I heard Tom Monnell talking about on Stern. Yes, I listen to Stern too. You get all fucking whipped up. It's a great show. He's my little either way. Great answer, you rock. Right. Right. Great answer, you rock. Okay. Okay.

I, he, he's doing a show where they actually go find these fucking people. They get the tweets, these fucking vicious tweets, and they find them, and then they go in a confrontational. They have like bodyguards, that's awesome. Yeah, there's gonna be some time, there's gonna be some type of bar, because someone's, someone's gonna,

someone's gonna be Lewis. Yeah, you know what I mean? And go, yeah, I fucking said, it's suck my dick. I hope your wife dies a cancer fucking pussy falls out in front of you I was on stage to get to anger. I hope someone attacks him because he's so fucking powerful that you just knocks on a little bit of Jim Sarpakow on the line. I'm gonna take everybody Jim you're on the YKWD live the famous producer director writer Jim S surbaco everybody i was afraid of this it's not a call

why i think we've lost so much money on the special and we have heard the cell the office will liquidating everything but i've got a call that the chicken is in the coop but you need to pick it up that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that fucking 16 piece bucket I

can call slo th i didn't all they can to the seller okay that's great

that's great sure yeah right to the seller you got it you're the best all right buddy i'll talk to you

bye i have to pick up a chicken tomorrow i have to pick up a chicken tomorrow You got it. You're the best. All right, buddy. I'll talk to you later. Bye. I have to pick up a chicken tomorrow. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Kumi is house one day. I'm not taking him. I'm just saying if you want to come you can come and he this is this is why I say that I say if you want to show up you can show up and he does Because it's a long track or wherever the fuck it is and he shows the fuck up and he's the degree on Kumi And then we did the behind the joke thing on serious on the Comedy Central Radio

And I was like you want to come up come up fucking shows up, and he was good on that too. So he's getting more comfortable, which is finally fucking... I mean, that took a really, really, Jesus. And we're not there yet. Let's fuck down, Jesus Christ. See, it's not there yet. Well, Jesus Christ, look the fuck is that guy.

Thank you. What does whispering into a microphone guy? I was just going to come here and make a... Jesus Christ, he did it. He did it. The fuck is that? I'm gonna miss Jim Gaffigan. I don't know.

All right, listen, this has been a... I was a little country at the beginning because everybody showed up late. It's a peppy. It's a Peppy. It's a Peppy. You gotta understand, Lou. What time do you tell him to be here?

10 to. 10 to? Lou, you fucking know every time it was here. You told me you told me three o'clock. Did you tell him three o'clock? I did not, but he knows. He knows he's a regular. What time do you tell him?

I fucking know, I said three o'clock. I thought you said two minutes. And Lou, listen to him. Look at me, look at me. Lou, scomas, Lou, jagomas. Lou, it's just like a girl. The fucking, the rattlesnake. Puerto Rican rattlesnake. Listen to me look at me look at me. Yeah Lewis Gomez lose Jay Gomez Which juice like a girl the fucking the the rattlesnake Puerto Rican Rattlesnake real ass Joe jet of comedy I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying the last two how would son of them in me right now?

I would do Good I am fucking Look at me sorry brother. It's not a problem Robert Can you pass me that package, the blue bag right there, and give it to Lewis? That's for your kid. Happy birthday, I'm sorry. Well, if you were really sorry,

I thought you'd be giving me a gift, but I guess. I wanted your kid to have that. Oh, I already got him that door about it. Did you really? I wasn't gonna tell him. Did you really get him that? Oh, it's got the, he loved mine. Hey, but I won't. The Spanish word for rapils right on it. Hey, look, it's got the, he loved mine. But I won't.

The Spanish word for apples right on it, dude. That's perfect. He got you the right kind. I thought it was great, because that Spanish on me, though. It does, and that's Spanish. Is that a real? Actually, you know what's funny?

No, it's not. Scopal got me ones for the fridge. Yeah. For Gerrita Magnets, cause this is the new tablet. This is a tablet, that's a Puerto Rican iPad. That's a tablet, that's a Puerto Rican iPad. That's a tablet, that's a Puerto Rican iPad. That's a tablet, that's a Puerto Rican iPad. That's a tablet, that's a Puerto Rican iPad. That's a tablet, that's a Puerto Rican eye path. Yeah. Okay. It's the closest I'm gonna ever have to have in my bed.

That's a great thank you Bobby and James will love this. All right. Well he's grown up to be a great kid and I'm very happy. And I'm sorry. And what about him? Did you do the same thing again? I guess I did tell him. You told you ten of.

I'm a little busier than Louis Thom. In my defense. I don't even know if that's true. What the fuck, hey, what the fuck am I? Am I not busy? I have, you know what I have today? I woke up, I had to take care of my kids. My babies.

That's not a funny joke. Come on. Jesus Christ, there's got to be a light in this. I'm fucking busy. I beg guarantee I'm busier than you. I know you are. So I'm busy. I'm here. I'm here guarantee I'm busier than you. I know you are. So I'm busy. I'm here with a book of you guys. No, you're not. I'm fucking, we're talking about an important shit

that will help our careers. Yeah, I'm fortunate that I have my career. What, what, name it. I was here. I'm here at three, but apparently 10 to three. I have a fucking baby that I'm raising. But okay, I have a baby I'm raising too. Oh, you don't want to raise him. I'm raising him. I'm raising. But okay, I have a baby I'm raising too. Oh, he don't want to raise him.

Yeah. Raising him. All right, well Dave Smith's raising yours. Oh, shit, cause it's his. I said. All right, so here's the deal. I always just see him holding the baby. He does hold the baby.

He doesn't love Dave. He loves him. He loves him. He does not like to raise. That's because the baby doesn't try to talk. Dave could just talk at it. Yeah. That's a perfect podcast for him.

Just him, him, him, him, him, him, him, him, him, and he just, you know, we're the government that's situated on this dynamical fucking fucking ass. That's how I agree. How many times did I fucking have to, first of all, I ever did hammer-fishing. I was me just going shut the fuck You never stop talking these two guys were stone and a shit. What are you doing right now?

He may be heading a Nurse All right Anyways hi I got I got we get a cut it cuz I got to do a I got a meeting in a fucking a little bit And I got to take these square bits. Yeah, I gotta meet and go get that chicken, huh? I gotta pick up the chicken.

I gotta cut it. That's actually a good thing, what we just heard on the show. No, it's a good thing. That'd be the best way to give you bad news, though. And the actual special, just for people out there that are gonna do their own thing that you don't have, you can do your own thing

and you can invest your own money. I mean, we're doing great. And the people who bought this special, we're doing good. You know what I mean? It's not like, seriously, it's fucking great. So I just love it because not only did we do it ourselves and we spent our own money, we're actually, you know, we got our money back and we're making a little bit of money

So that's fucking right it's a business in itself like doing a special it's like fucking Well, yeah, but the business model has been the same thing for a long time And you had to be chosen you had to be a chosen one you had to be in a demographic to hit a certain demographic And then that's it and other all you had you had to put it up yourself You had to have that money yourself and it's changing now where you all you had to put it up yourself. You had to have that money yourself. And it's changing now where you don't have to put up as much money, but you can put quality out.

That's fucking awesome. That's why it was getting a little serious because I think it's important for younger comics and comics, look, who aren't the ones, okay? It's easy when you're one of the motherfuckers. I got 200,000 and over here I can just put on my special. That's for my next special, I'll do it myself. Because it's all money from the other special.

And it just builds, it's like a double edged sword. It just builds on top of itself, money on money on money. But when you don't have that and nobody's picking you... I don't think that's the definition of a double edged sword. What do you do? What do you do? Me? Well, I gotta to do what you did specifically. Exactly. Yeah.

So, I mean, first, you got to get fun there. I got to get another 40 minutes of material. Yeah. And I got a different man. Are you going to produce this special? My matter is you got to produce this special. But by the time he's ready to do an hour, he'll be able to. It won't be as, you don't have to take no for an answer.

Yes. Is the greatest thing about it. Well, that's the, the. You can do it your way. Well, it's, we're watching kind of happening with podcasting right now. We're watching it happen with the entertainment industry. In general, YouTube, you know, Yannis, you were very successful putting out these videos that you said you can not not only,

you can, it becomes a monetizable, calculable, calculable thing where you say, I have real fans that come out and see me perform at this. You have a great vehicle. Yeah, yeah, and then you say I have real fans that come out and see me perform it You're a fan? Yeah, yeah, and then you threw that away and went to Miami, but the thing is is you can rebuild for a fucking website You can you can rebuild that fanbase even though they know you're a sellout and you fucking You a fucking drove a beamer and you wore peach, but thing is you can rebuild But that's what's kind of cool.

Like, technology has become like so inexpensive. You could use high quality shit. You can do really good shit on your own now. Well, here's the thing is you can actually have, you can be creative. You can have a vision in your mind. And everybody's gonna tell you that's bullshit, but you can go do it.

And then you can actually see. And then it can fail or succeed. You have to, I think you have to. You have to, but it's hard too. Yeah, but you have to, unless you're like three or five guys and girls, that's your path nowadays, that's how it is. Yeah, that's how it is.

Yeah, you're right. And too many people sit around waiting to go, like every year, like, oh, Montreal, there's just going to be another one. I don't want to be that guy now. And at one point, you have to go like, dude, stop waiting to be picked make some shit Yes, I learned that like two years ago. I was like I'm just not gonna be picked

I learned that I'm the last guy on fucking gym class like waiting to be put. I learned that I tell you when me and Derosa and Burr will fuck this would be for right before burr popped We were all like why the fuck are we waiting? Let's just write the movie and let's do it. And let's put our money up and we did it and we all pulled our resources and we did it. Not for something, just to do it. Not to, hey, this will get us this and that and this.

We did it and then it's funny how actually life takes over, you know what I mean? It's like I always say you wanna make it, you wanna gig, go plan a vacation, go enjoy your life and be happy. And all of a sudden, do we need you back? They just picked you for the show. And you're like, oh, suck a dick, you know what I mean?

So it's, I learned the same thing. Don't wait for it, go create it. That's why people always bitch about their managers, people bitch about the industry, go do it. Just go become funny. They'll become as funny, funnier than anybody else. Or go write the fucking movie,

or go write the show, or go write the book, or film the video. You know, that's one thing I loved, Janice, is he filmed the fucking funny, funny music video dressed as a Puerto Rican woman. Transsexual. Yeah, whatever.

She's a transgender woman. Trans-genic. Say, pre-opt trans. She's saving up for it. She's a transgender woman. Trans gen-ing. Free op trans saving up for somebody's writing a book. The next move right there. You know, I think everybody in this room has kind of done that in a certain way. You're doing it, you know, E-Roc didn't do it. He just fucking fell into corporate America, but the thing is it pays you. E-Roc fill out an application

I Don't know anyways. Let's let's wrap this up before we get deep again This is a this is a very funny show. I was a little get guys gang bang If this a comics on one no, I mean it would be you're not invited. Let's do it ourselves. Let's make our own movie guys You gotta make our own movie Don't wait for the big companies. We do it right now. It's going viral your career's taking off That's it. You're gonna go viral if you're fucking me. Yeah, well Yeah, that fucking uncircumcised tri-colored cock. I have a circumcised dick. Thank you very much

Is it really? Sun is not circumcised. I was talking about you kids. Oh The little Puerto Rican mouth. All right, let's go around the room. What do you get to promote, sweetie? I'm actually going to Las Vegas next week because I was nominated by AVN for mainstream star of the year. So mainstream is explaining me what this is? So what's the next? Thank you.

Mainstream star for doing comedy. They nominated me for how much I have accomplished doing comedy. That's great. Now, are you nominated? Who are the other people nominated with? James Dean, Tommy Gondon. That James Dean was dead. No, the other James. Yeah, girls want to fuck that guy.

Really? Girls love that guy. Tommy Gondon. What is he doing? What are they doing? Tommy the machine gunny for Rocky Fush. What? He just said, where will F like be horror movie? Right, okay. Or something like that. Bell Knox was actually right?

Laney Bell Knox was in his- She's mainstream. Well, could she got on a bunch of different like she was on the view and Pierce Morgan and stuff like that. Right. But you're actually going mainstream. Yeah, like that. I mean, are they still doing porn? Yeah, they're all still in porn. You're out. You're the one going mainstream. Yeah, like I said. I mean, are they still doing porn? Yeah, they're all still in porn.

You're out. You're the one going mainstream. You're the one who's actually picked another career and you're fucking, you're trying to really be a standup comedian. That's what you're going to do. OK, so I hope you win. Thank you.

So is there anything? Can they go and check this out? What can they do? Can they vote? No, no, it's not a voting thing at all. I have my show at the cutting room coming up in February, I don't have a date though. Yeah.

You got a website? Aliyahjaneen.com. All right, go check her out. She seems like a very nice person. You seem pretty funny. You can take a hit. You took a couple of them. You gave a couple.

And you showed us your boobies. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Seriously, thank you for that, because it literally took away all the- We were tension that you guys had. Yeah, thank you. Seriously, thank you for that, because it literally took away all the... We were your tension that you guys had. Yeah, that's true, man. It really is.

Thank you. We want to see it. The women don't want to be sexually harassed, just come and show your tits. That's what you won't be able to stop. Oh my God, you're not. That's not what we're saying. That's what we're saying.

We're not saying. He's saying that, girl. There is no decency in that. Guys, man. You're gonna have to pay for your special and do it and film it by yourself. No one wants to be involved with you. No, that's not what we're saying.

I'm saying, look, you're last logic right there. No. When you did that, it was almost like being at a nude beach. You know what I mean? It's like who gives a shit, it's Titties. But if you did that at fucking Coney Island, I'd be like, Titties, Titties. So, I don't even know what I mean? It's like who gives a shit? It's Titties. But if you did that at fucking Coney Island, I'd be like, Titties, Titties. So, I don't even know what I just said.

I was just, I was picturing your Titties, stop. They were in my head, they fucked me up. A lot of people can't talk when they see them. It's interesting. No, you know why. You know why, I think. It's like when Iron Man was like, I'm not gonna use this anymore. Like really?

We all yelled like you hit a drag bump to fuck you with the playoff. Yeah! That's great. Go, go, go, go. Well, that's great. And welcome to this show and you can come back. We'll have you back. Not anytime you want, but you can definitely,

no, you can definitely come back on. We'll have you back on the show. And we'll have you on as a comedian next time. Right. So you won't be sexually harassed. Yeah, well, we don't have to talk about the porn stuff anymore now that you're comic uh... we uh... yana's what do you have

please uh... check my website yana's papas dot net i'll be in long island at the bolt and center in bayshore in february seventh and levity live from march twenty six twenty-ninth and west nia check it out say that five times your fulton beveless what what? Bolton Center in Bayshore Long Island, February 7th. That's great, man. I love you, buddy. You're one of the funniest guys out there. Thanks, man.

Appreciate that. Likewise. Unbelievable, man. We're going to fucking me and me and you and Verz. You got to go down to the Soho place. We went. And we were talking about you and the three of us were going to go, what the fuck?

What are you talking about? You went without me? Me and Verz. It was late. What do you mean I'm late? I'm gonna go. What the fuck? What are you talking about? You went without me? Me averse, it was late. I didn't even- What do you mean I'm late? I'm fucking here. You weren't in Manhattan. Yeah, what day was it?

Ah, it was a Monday night. I was here. Ah, it was a couple weeks ago. I wasn't here. I was here. It was verse's idea. I erased your number once I saw that Instagram thing. No, I'm just kidding.

I follow you now. Huh? I know you do. I'm fucking on you. You know, post that much. Huh? You know, you don't post that on you. You know post that much. Huh? You know, you know post that much. I'll post that much. You guys want to maybe have this conversation when we're not all here.

Yeah, we're on here. What do you got? A very long personal conversation. I was what do you get? January 24th. I don't know what I would date it is. January 24th, me and Dave don't know what I would date is January 24th Me and Dave Smith both co-headlining. That's called middleish

It's called we don't have enough money to pay for a headliner But we do have enough money to pay for two middleish Well, he learned the move from Jesse May and Carly January 2 Those, we stop. Those two fucking girls. First of all, they're fucking, they're selling out fucking theaters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Move on.

Yeah, I'm just hitting jokes. I mean jokes. I got it. But you know Lewis keeps his mouth shut that little thought he got. He potential work. I already texted her. You touched her a photo of him. You put like some type of meme on it.

He's gaining weight again. That's great. She showed it to her new hot muscular boyfriend. I'm so fat. Good for her. I used to date this. It's an eyebrow with fat growing up a bit. That's actually a pretty good one. I got a Greek eyebrow with fat growing up.

It's pretty good. January 20th, he had to learn how to trim his own eyebrows after I left. Tighten that, yeah. He he had to learn how to trim his own eyebrows after I left January 25th the eluas laughter Toronto on a bar seven. Where is it Toronto? Toronto they call it t dot t dot Toronto J. Hated when you call it that shut up. Why you didn't like it there you go Yeah, when you yap over that's you don't go over anyone but I was doing my fucking thing you too far What the boty boo. He was in it. No 24 you come to me and

they will go and learn at the Camry Bar and 7PM 7PM Camry Bar and very funny. 9PM, 9PM, a book of mamas, family underground, not a laptop. I don't do drugs, but that's okay.

Booty, booty, booty. And then also, oh shit, you have the most plugs if anybody. I didn't even finish my plug. I'll be at LOL Monday through Thursday. Come down if you dare. All right, what else do you guys do? What other, what other, what other, what other fucking mediocre gig do you want these people to show up at? Actually, now I'll wait. Now where is it? Well, that's in March, forget it. Yeah, dude, wait. Oh What other fucking mediocre gig do you want these people to show up at actually now wait?

Now where is while it's in March forget it. Yeah, dude wait. All right, dude if you can remember three months from now Fuck is that Seattle I'm coming yeah, yeah, didn't Joe and Seattle right now? Yeah, he's come back today. I'm sorry. Are you okay? Did we just wake you up? Fucking tired burglar Sorry, I've been a little bit of a realize that. I was up all morning moving garbage. I smell Lewis, and I'm like, what the fuck is, but what do I smell Lewis?

I'm gonna realize that this is the fucking mic that he used yesterday. He didn't clean it off. Hold on, time out. That's not true. Why is that not true? I don't use that mic. I use the mic that's there,

and you have her on my cover. Yeah, and he was just mic. No, no, no, no. That mic was here, and I moved it to here. Well, you have her on my cover, so. Smell this fucking thing. It's not mine. I'll tell you. No, no, no, no, no. That mic was here and I moved it to here. Well, you have her on my covers, though. Smell this fucking thing. It's a bad mic. I'll tell you.

Look, you know, Iraq. In fact, there's a picture of me. Iraq. There's a picture of me with the mic covers. Hang on a second. I'll tell you right now if I can smell. You know I got a fucking sniffer and I'll puke if I smell some bad shit, right?

You know me, right? I'm just saying, I don't care who, if it's bad breath, I don't give a shit, it's not mine. No, you fucking know it. No, it smells great. It smells like Lewis. It smells great. It's Lewis. It's called fucking Lewis. He's right there He's three feet away from you. Let me ask you scub. What do you do for living during the day? I am in collections and garbage So you're smelling and you also he also

Annatation, Santa Day. He also works at the docks. He works at the docks and you do garbage and then you go back to middle village Eric Thanks for coming on brother. Thanks for having me. I know it's it's hard to get a word in I know it's fucking crazy Just one thing on me and then he shut up the rest of the time Smack me in the head with a baseball bat joke and then just was like I retire. This was a crazy show This is a crazy show. It was a crazy show This is great It's actually cool to see it done instead of editing it to play it on serious Yeah, right to see how it's just to let you know he's the it done instead of editing it to play it on serious. Yeah, right

You see how just to let you know he's the one who edits it all up to put it on serious. Well, that's how you got your credit He just had serious last week What is this the battle of the Bobby interns right now? He's actually going on on a on Monday. He's going on the first first time Lewis he's the new Lewis. There it is. Right. He's he's going on who's going on with him? I don't know Yeah, he's going on Monday first time Good job. It's just cool. Um, all right. Thanks for having for being on and thanks red in the show and Being a supporter too.

Come back anytime you want, brother. I would love to. I know, you said, Adrian was like, I wish you'd have these people on. I forget that you guys like Travis, I want on. Troy, I know I have on and Sanbon, but I never even thought you'd want to come on. I was, yeah, loves to come down here.

I just didn't know what, you know, like any, like I can't compete with everyone here. Doesn't matter, I'm gonna compete with Scott. You did compete with scope you did find it. It's a crazy room But I you know it is what it is. It's coming up the stairs I thought it was like Michael Sarah for a second really oh Quite a compliment that's the big scope. Oh, that's mean. I what do you got anything to promote air? It's a way better radio show I have a show on Friday nights on the opi radio channel You got anything to promote Eric? Besides a fucking game. Like a man. He said it's a way better radio show. There you go.

I have a show on Friday nights on the OP radio channel. APM on the E's, 5 PM on the West. So check that out. And of course, OP and Jimmy. Great. All right, buddy, check that out. What do you got, man? I run a show at the stand called Griff Comedy

in Wednesday the 21st is the one year anniversary show. At 10 o'clock, yep. Great lineup. I've never been invited. As you have many times. I know. We're just a little later. You text me and you're like dude, just fucking read this So sorry, so come down to Stan Wednesday at 10 then next weekend

I'm gonna be at DC improv and weekend after that crackers in Indianapolis great I got a bunch of other shit come up soon. Deep who what he got? I got nothing just follow me on Twitter R2D poo two ease one you got some questions in chat Yeah, sure. Let's go to some Aaron J. Moore says why is no one pushing the Bobby's mom's vibrator topic from earlier? I just a good you know it's lucky that we really made it out of that one. He's a fucking violent psychopath Please fucking hit me and throw him bottles at me That's true making off-color jokes about his wife Much less his mother and I said fucking front of his mother one time and then you would have acted like I fucking pull my dick out in front of her

Well, animal first time in my music fucking fucking mother fucker animal. No, you know what she said? She's like Bobby shut up. I don't give a fuck. You know that never one laughed and then she said after he left that guys Very aggressive I did not feel safe around him my vibrator. I need to calm down No, what else the other question was Irish face asks anyone know anyone who the comic was that beat up Mark Norman. Yeah, it's small. You're not supposed to say it. Oh shit.

So everyone knew that. He didn't beat a moppy. Just show them. Just give me a little boost. Give me a mush. Yeah, it wasn't a mark. Mark actually gave me a tweet it was a mark with a map mark actually from uh... gave me a tweet to a nice guy and uh...

and uh... ect ect reattr into special which i really appreciate what's up uh... that's it for now that's it for me and uh... what the fuck man give me another one is there anything else he made these decisions uh... back when uh... alia showed her tits time he's even said now badby bobby should show his tits allmie steven said now badby bobby should show his tits alright fair is fair

fair is fair you ask about it but you don't want to see anything under the shirt uh... actually think all of you would actually have to show me your tits for it okay whip them out i'd love to see your stuff all that we get to see yours again you're a song i know how i want you to do me a favor i don't want to see it it's again i really want to see his tits

We can't do it. How do you see me? Yeah, you're good to go. Yeah That's a lot on you two. Yeah, um, what's your ex-girlfriends? Then again more famous I You Wow I don't I thought you'd been away a long time. I don't shine shoes no more Wow You want to fuck you? First of all before we leave I want to say thanks to everybody who watched a special live on Comedy Central

Reairing this Sunday on Comedy Central and I know there was beeps and all that shit, but the, go to my website, robbercowleylive.com. It's a brand new website I put out there for you. Beautiful website. Thank you, buddy. You can go first page pre-order for a $5 minimum donation. Am I on the camera right now? You are now. Okay, great.

Put that on there, you fucking ass. Five dollar minimum donation. You can own it. The unedited version with extra stuff. It's an hour and four minutes long. There's no beeps. Everything's in there. You get a 15, 16 minutes more. I think it's almost 20 minutes more material. And it's five dollars. You can leave more. You can leave just five. Whatever. I appreciate all the people who bought it so far and And keeps spreading the word man. I really I need you guys to push this out there Everybody in the chat everybody to listen to this make sure you go and to my website I got my my acting reels on there, which is fucking cool to watch my Louis episodes

Bronx warrants the actual pilot that never aired. I got a scene from that up there. So go check out the new website, robacaliolive.com. And where am I going to be? You got January 23rd, 24th, bananas, and Hasbroke Heights. Fucking great club. I don't know who's on with me. Do you want to get on the 23rd? No, I'm only on the 24th now.

No, no, I'm doing the whole weekend because I'm going to give. So whoever's getting that is getting the weekend. I'm not splitting it up. To the whole weekend. It's a great club. I have the headline Well club Toronto maybe I'll have Mike do it. I'm gonna be in Mike just say go fuck yourself. Yeah, I'll figure it out, but has workites. I love it. Go ahead. What else? January 31st the cabaret theater, Mohican son. Yeah, I'll be there. I can't have you on that either What I gotta have Mike. Oh, I can't make it. You could do it.

I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. No, go ahead. That's gonna be good.

Hasbroke Heights. February 5th, 6th and 7th. And McGubby's comedy club. I can do that one with you. No, I don't want you. All right. It's February 21st. Yep.

Uncle Vinnie's and Fairbridge. Boom, I could do it. No. And then Arlington Draftouch, March 6th and 7th. Love it. Go to robacadolive.com, all my dates are up there. My new website, check it out. Get the tickets to the show, spread the word, bring your friends, buy the special.

Check out this podcast. We love you guys. You're the best fans in the fucking world. Thanks for listening to the You Know What Did! to come for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all free. And they're all free. Start! Start! Start!

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