Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Showbiz, ?, iOS

Episode Date: June 7, 2011

Showbiz, ?, iOS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting?

You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting? You know what you're getting? Yo! Yo, yes, we're back, another edition of You Know What Dude, I'm being very consistent with these, you know what dude podcasts, Joe wasn't going to be on for a couple weeks. I don't know if you heard about this. Why'd you say that? I don't know. Last time you were on, I was a little offended, Joe. About what? That I did two of them because

you're fucking deleted one and I did the whole next one with you. And then said, dude, I got it, I got to go. I'm sorry. We're not for you. Fuck up. I'd be sitting here because I got somebody swittered me and said, stop doing dishes on the podcast. And it's like, no, the only reason I was doing that was because we had to re-record it the last minute because you lost the one we did. No. Yeah. Yeah. I'm letting you go. You understand? Yeah. Man, let me talk. Yeah. Yeah. Are you gonna let me? I'm going now you have you can talk anyway. You can't start with no though. Is that a place I'm not telling the truth right now? I can start with no if I don't think you're telling the truth. You know that I am. No, you're not. You're not, okay? First of all,

you're not okay? First of all, the first podcast we did, which if I had, you're right, I did fuck up and deleted by accident, but if I had, at the end of it, you had to keep saying I gotta go, I gotta go and you kept getting up and walking away and going over there and doing shit. That was the one we re-recorded, dude. That was the second one, because I had to go. I had to go work, do show. Yeah, but you could, on a podcast, you don't need to, you could say, dude, pause this for one second and I pause it

and I go, we need to wrap this up in five minutes. So you get to get to it. And then it would sound better because I think we look all right cool I get it. All right cool. But you actually, we just get up and walking around and pick and shit up and you got a little neurotic to you. Narosis came over because you do get an erotic.

Yeah. And you got a little neurotic and you I get it and it's like, I'm trying to do this shit on my own and it was a little, it was a little, it was like, instead of me doing you a favor or us enjoying a podcast that I do which I like doing with Joe Derosa I'm a fan of doing it with Joe Derosa. No I'm not going to do any fuck your butter that you're spreading on me right now. I like doing it with Joe Derosa you're one of my favorite guys to have on but I felt like you know what Joe we have two guys on. I said he got paid everywhere superstar last week

Unbelievable calling Quinn's doing it in a I think in two weeks do it it unbelievable hasn't done it yet He's already done it. I don't like I don't even know to podcast. He did a two-hour podcast with me a double series They call it in the business. I have a few other I'm gonna start doing other people but who's right regularly? You. The only one. Right. Which I like, I love Joe, but that's my choice. I love it too. And I like and the fans love you on. That's what disappointed me. That's what hurt me. I think that's what hurt the people. Is that we all love you on the show. You know what did. I mean, you made the theme music. And then the last time you were on, you were a little like, I got to do it. It's not important. Like, it's not fun. It's not a good thing. It's not a it's not a blast. And I got big news

happening with the podcast, by the way, too. Right. Well, a couple things, a couple things, Bob. Yeah. First of all, I don't like to hide anything from my fans, which is why I didn't say pause that. I don't like to hide from them. I like to them to hear the organic experience. Yeah. Like it's live, like it's going on.

So that's the first thing I did that out of respect. That'd be perfect if it was your podcast. It's my podcast and I like that pristine podcast. Okay. You you could have edited it out and you didn't. No, because you flustered me. I'm good. I'm a three day guy. Okay. You do something that pisses me off or fucking fucks me or hurts my feelings. It takes me three days to figure out what the fuck it was. And then I usually walk away and I'm like, what the fuck, why didn't that feel good? Why doesn't it, what the fuck, and then you get mad and then you're like, what the fuck, and then you realize, oh, that sucked because last time we did the podcast, Joe was walking,

like I have to do, this is fucked up. So you've been harboring this for about a week now. You've 10 brought this up to me. Two weeks. Haven't brought this up to me. That's why I wanted to bring it up on the podcast. Okay. Yeah.

Because like you, I don't like to hide anything from my face. Also let me explain why I was being erotic. Because I had Bobby Kelly in my house or my partner, excuse me, eating ribs. You're the one who said get the ribs. They were great. I wanted the ribs. That doesn't mean that you eat them correctly. Remember when I had to wash barbecue sauce out of the rug?

You just let it sit there. And you know your wife's laughing at you. You don't talk it on the podcast. You just let it sit in the rug. That's why I was getting neurotic. It looked like raccoons had come through the fucking living room and- Shut up down there. And not even eight ribs that I left out, dug the ribs

out of garbage and then ate them. It was such a fucking mess. You know what? I apologize. All right. I apologize. I apologize too. Now we're even.

All right, so it's over. Now we're even. So we're moving on. Yeah. So move on. It's all over. And the last thing is, is if you want to have, I thought it was over. It's one of the more on. It's all over. And the last thing is, is if you want to have thought it was over, it's the one with the rubber thing. If you would, if you would have a normal

length pod, you can't say to you, all right, did I got to go on five and expect you to wrap it five here. Bobby, start wrapping up right now. Because it's a six minutes and twenty one exactly. It will take you 45 minutes. Because I'm the minutes and twenty-one exactly it will take you forty-five minutes because I'm on the right. I have the gift of gab joe. That's why I do this podcast. I do it for the fucking millions and millions of fans that are listening around the world. So that they can have something to listen to. I believe you. Okay, so it's over. All right, it's done. You know, my go-to believe you. Okay. So it's over. All right.

It's done. You know, my go to guy. And you know, it was sad too, because I wanted to hear with Keith Robinson the other night, but you were out. You were. I was working. I wasn't out. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn't. I wasn't specific. I would have been here in a fucking second. It was funny. Robinson's funny. The last podcast was really one of my favorites and one of one of the most popular so far too. In fact, if you had told me when you guys were recording I could have been here

but I didn't even know you were recording until I was on my way home and I said I'm coming up town, what are you doing? I would have been there in a second I ended up going and getting dollar tacos at this bar. Dude they were fucking great. I was like, I know, what am I saying? I'll take you out of this bar, the dollar tacos every Tuesday and Wednesday all night. You know what? I'm pissed I can't remember the name of it because I really want to give these guys a fucking shout out. I think it's called Siberia. No, it's not Siberia. Fuck. Anyway, they dollar tacos, beef, chicken, or fish.

Right. Oh, dude. You know how Jackson and Joanne, permac, comedy central? Yeah, we went in there and just one of my best pals in the world. Say it again, Jo. Say it again. First of all, for you people who don't know, she's one of the head person people at comedy central.

Oh, that's convenient. This is just a meeky through trash of here about this too, is that the fact that you didn't invite him to your birthday party one year, but you invited her. You and he, Joe's birthday parties consist of the priority goes industry. People in the business that can help him, other comics that can get him in other clubs, and then his friends. Because you know what? We don't do his friends.

His friends are the last on the list. And off. No, that's absolutely not true. You wasn't invited. Well, I didn't invite myself in all fairness. Let me let me. It wasn't my party. It was a party that she threw for me because you asked for it.

No, she said, I want to throw you a little shindig at the apartment. I can't just invite everybody in the world, but who did get invited? The guy sitting across from me. You were there. I remember because you gave me soul caliber for my birthday. I'm not complaining. You were there.

I'm not complaining. You were there. I was there. I was there. Let me ask you this. If you had to have a selective invite party, would you invite Keith? No.

You know what? You know when you make a fucking point, you have a fucking valid point, Joe, you get a valid point. Yeah, what are you gonna do? He's a party ruiner. He walks in and trashes everybody, makes everybody uncomfortable.

You're right, you're right. Good friend of mine's nice time to say, I wanna throw you a little something, then we're gonna go to the bar and it'll be a free throw. I'm going to invite the guy to come in and trash people that aren't only my friends, but they can boot me out of a career. No, not to with it. You're right. There's always a lesson for everybody listening.

There's two sides to every story. And that's what this podcast is down to. We get to taste. We get both sides. And you're asked to write. Chain W R superstar at a well.com shouldn't be invited to a fucking picnic, a barbecue, a birthday party, Christmas, anything. He should just you should just see him on the streets or in a comedy club. And I one more thing you know he wouldn't have came. He would have went asked, but I ain come to you dumb dumb. He just wanted the invite. Well, that's what everybody

He just wanted the invite. That's what everybody wants. Yeah, you want the invite You know if you're a friend you got to give the end I don't know it really meant something to him You would have been there. Well now you do So next birthday party I invite him every year and he comes in for 15 minutes Shits on everybody Makes me feel bad on my birthday For for being drunk on my own birthday and then leaves That's a friends of yeah, good to see you. Thanks. Good comedy friends are off friends think if all of our friends went down the plane crash

I'd fucking about good good good I'd fucking out good good good. I hope they all do a fucking Festival the same place and the plane goes down Love to hear the fucking black box. God damn it. I'll fly the fucking day So anyways, all right, so we're done. It's over. It's squashed totally so Joe You're open and bite back on the podcast. Thank you. Not my sidekick, but one of the regulars on the podcast. If not the only, regular. Read only.

All right, so let's move on. I got a couple of big announcements coming out in the next couple of weeks for this podcast. You know, like, look, I do this podcast for shits and giggles. I don't do this for any other reason. I've done it on my iPhone for a long time. Just shooting around, I've upgraded a little bit, doing them a computer now, better microphone, so it's a little better for you guys to listen to.

And I do it on a more consistent basis. And it's got a little popular. I broke the top 100th this week on iTunes. It was in the top 200 of podcast, comedy podcast for in and out. I got some bunch of emails from people wanting to get my stuff on their thing. And I've made a couple of choices. And hopefully, I get some news coming out in the next couple

of weeks that is going to be cool for the podcast. Good for you guys. Be able to listen to it. A little more easy. And to get a lot more cool for the podcast, good for you guys, be able to listen to it, a little more easy, and to get a lot more listeners into the podcast worldwide, instead of, you know, the eight people that I think do listen to this. But I think it's up to 20 now.

Now, it seems like you got a good little, I'm starting to get messages for people, so that's a good sign when somebody who's, it's not his podcast is getting messages from us. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So that's coming out in the next couple from someone. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So that's coming out in the next couple of weeks. Some really good news for that.

Sweet. Another thing, like I put out something, especially when you're on, I'll put out, you know, if they, anybody get any questions. Not, you're, one thing I wanted to bring up, there's people complain that we drink and smoke and eat on the podcast. Right. People hate it. We don't eat on it.

We've never eaten on it. People complain that I eat on the podcast. I couldn't just fucking be a team player. I could do job. Drinking smoke on it. Why, who doesn't drink on radio, first of all? Well, I mean, people drink on radio, but those mics are literally, you have to really eat the mic on a radio show because it doesn't pick up anything else.

These mics that I use picks up a lot. So they'll hear the drinking and the smoking. And I guess it bugs a couple people, but no, we have to say that, Joe. Oh, past the lighter, Bob. I guess it bugs a couple people but no we have to say to that Joe oh Past a lighter Bob There you go Span go fuck yourself. What do you eat on it? When you eat on everything well, I especially when I did it on my iPhone I'd be in the middle of fucking nowhere Yeah, let's just put the Astray on the fucking

$500 hard drive that I bought. I think I yelled at an opioid every once in a while, it's really easy to go out of the air. Yeah, I used to do that too. I used to, I used to fucking eat or breathe. I used to do stupid shit. I learned how to use a microphone

when you're doing radio now. Yeah. The cough button. We forget, because it's such a, you're talking about such crazy shit. you forget that you like it's still a radio show yeah you know yet but um so anyways fuck you if you don't like the smoke and now you can't listen to a podcast because this people smoking that's what's great about this fucking podcast it's bullshit

it's just that's Yeah, there's no pressure. Exactly. We got a couple, we got a couple, uh, couple emails here. Uh, first one. Tell this is from Chris Marino. Tell the Rocher. You should start his own podcast. Uh, a couple of people said that to me. I, you know, I feel like what like, what am I going to do? What am I going to talk about? I do this one with you sometimes. I do want to inform with Burr sometimes.

Sometimes I do Burr's with him. You know, you go and open anything. I don't know what the fuck else I'm going to talk about. I get you, dude. It's not so easy to do now. And, you know, I mean, just, I mean, let's just be honest, it's one guy that said that out of all of them. So it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's not a, it's easy to do, bro. You know, but it's hard with all the shit we got going on right now. It's hard to make sure that you do that podcast

to get somebody to come over. I like doing it with people, my friends, but I will do them by myself and talk about the shit that I like to talk about. You know, MMA, tech, movies, gossip, bullshit, being lonely, being fucked up, depressed, all that shit. So I can do it by myself you can do it too One benefit you'd have is you'd be able to do some of them drunk which would be hilarious

Just come on fucking depressed fat and shit-faced That should be the name of your podcast depressed fat and shit-faced. That's a good idea Maybe I'll just do maybe that's what I'll do. Maybe I just doing what I'm drunk. Yeah, that's a fucking once a week I'll come with drugs. Well, you know, don't put that on you. I don't want you to be coming out the hall It's because it's fucking stupid Chris Marino Fuck him. I mean, but a podcast will be good. And anyways, he has a question What movies you guys looking looking for this summer? I picked he said Bobby pick kick ass last year Which was a good one anything else?. I picked kickass. Before it came out, I actually said it was great. I don't know when A

and they trashed me, he said it was going to be a fucking dumb movie. It's going to fail, because the little chick said the word content and I was like, fuck you. I wanted to be in a huge hit, huge hit, and a really good fucking movie. Not a great movie, but a total, you know, middle ground fucking superhero, goofy movie that was fucking pretty badass. Right, right. So that's when I liked, I saw a movie recently, I just saw, hang over two, and you just went tonight and saw a movie.

Yeah, I saw Midnight in Paris, Woody Owens in the movie. If you like Woody Owens, fantastic, you know, if you don't like Woody Owl, I don't know if you'd be selling it to it, but how was it? It was terrific. It was great. Owen Wilson was the lead. He was fucking hilarious. Everybody, Adrian Brody. It's about a guy. Owen Wilson plays a writer. He is a guy that always wanted to be a novelist and he ended up just being like a hack screenplay writer in Hollywood and he regrets it. And he's in Paris with his fiancee play by Rachel McAdams, who's fucking great in it.

And he's in Paris. He falls in love with Paris and he starts reminiscing about all the artists like Hemingway and Salvador Dalley and all these people that lived there in the 20s and how he wants to move to Paris and become this novelist. And his chicks not into it are family things it's retarded all this stuff nobody's taken it seriously and then every night he fight at the stroke of midnight this car comes along and picks them up and takes them back in the 1920s Paris and he starts meeting all these old artists and shit it's funny man it's really funny

good movie it was great It was great. It was great. Really excellent directed. Absolutely directed. And I love Woody Allen. It's my favorite filmmaker. So I really enjoyed it a lot. But you know, as far as summer blockpusters, it was movies never a blockbuster. Yeah, no, it's more of an art house thing, but you know, as far as big one. I'm psyched, dude, for the Friday night remake.

I'm really excited about that. Who's starring in that? Colin Fowell, right? Colin Fowell plays the vampire. Anton Yelnik, the kid that played, check off in the Star Trek remake. He's the kid. And this is fucking great.

Everybody that loves the original Fright Night, everybody's favorite character is Evil Ed, which is played by the I can't remember the kids name, but it's that kid from heaven help us that became the gay porn star. So everybody was like online was like who's gonna be Evil Ed man because that kid is so perfect in that movie and they got from kickass Christopher Minnes plants is playing Evil Ed the bad guy in kickass, you know love it. And he's fucking perfect because him and that can't

are the exact same way hopefully I hope they have the same career path to 10 years we see him on a roller skates with a headband going yeah fucking stick that taking my ass yeah sticking in my ass you see that on jesus oh no yeah No, no. The, uh, yeah. But the thing that's going to suck about this one, the first one was funny. The first one had this. It looks comedic, that's what. Yeah, but did that work?

It looks alright. It doesn't look, you know, that first one was really funny, dude. That was goofy, funny, it had some slapstick in it. It gets intense, though. It gets really intense, too. That's what I liked about it.

This one looks more intense than anything. Yeah, I'm psyched for it. I really love it. When I was watching, this is why I'm really psyched. I was watching Fright Night, like seven months ago, at home one night, and I was like, man, they should fucking remake this movie. This would be a great remake. And I went online and

sure enough it was like, oh, fuck, they are remaking it, right? It's coming out kind of soon. So I'm just sighted because I think they can make the 80s one is great, but there's also some of that 80s nostalgia in there. There's some camp in there where you go, I was the 80s, you know? So this one I'm excited to see like how they iron some of those fucking wrinkles out of it. Right. Yeah, I actually saw hangover too last night. Oh, yeah, how was it? It was, it was hangover one, you know, I mean, was it funny?

And that's some funny, you know, again, you have to see a comedy, I believe, in a pack theater, the weekend that comes out, if you want to laugh. When you see it, you know, the next weekend on a fucking Sunday night, in Miami, after the heat just played in the fight Also, there's only eight people in the fucking audience. You're not gonna laugh as much. Lafters contagious. Right. So it had some funny They made what's his name at Helms? Is that his name? They made him kind of the funny guy of this one instead of Zach Zach's funny, right, but he's kind of the same funny that he was in the first one right. It's that weird goofy funny It's all right. He's not as funny as he was in the first one because you get it now

There's a great fucking scene with Ed Helms that is just outrageous That's really funny and it you know, it's it's worth okay. It's worth that to see it It takes place in Thailand same bullshit same shit happens Which is you know all right really the same shit happens if if the same guy drug you twice On the you know one on an important day of life you'd fucking never talk to him again, right? So if they make hang of a three. They are. Oh god.

They are making a third one. What are they gonna fucking do? I don't know. An exact shouldn't be in it, because nobody should talk to him. He's a piece of shit. He's drugging them. He's fucking drugging them. People who lose in fingers and fucking getting tattooed.

And their lives are being ruined because of this fucking psychopath. That's a date raping his friends, the wolf pack. And they didn't sing the song. I never saw the first one. You never saw Hangover? No, I wasn't against singing. I just never, it was one of those things. I just never got around to seeing it and I haven't caught it on HBO.

You should definitely, you should definitely see it. I like Todd Phillips a lot. I mean, old school is one of my favorite. Oh God The guy did hangovers got to do old school right. Yeah, no One is great dude. You got to see hangover. You should definitely watch that you can it's on HBO on demand or whatever the fuck It's on there. You can watch it. Just watch it. It's fucking great Hangover one is a great movie because They finally made a movie that would went overboard. Right. On everything, again, you know what I mean?

Kind of like what Animal House did back in the day. Right. Something about Mary did. It just, it just, it's these fucking stupid comedies that take it to the edge and stop and, you know, they expect us to buy into the shit. And then there's that one that just goes, fuck it. Right. Let's just go.

Right. And they did that with Hangover. And they did it with this a little bit. There's that one scene that I'm talking about I don't want to spoil it for anybody but it's oh it's fucking it's it's worth worth seeing it for that scene at least for me all right hilarious all right so another thing is this guy I forget his name I don't even know his fucking name, he didn't put his name in, but grow white and fucking whatever. He asked, you want us to talk about relationships. Okay. Which he admits he might sound happy, but he digs one guy's like, I don't want

to talk about relationships and stuff like that. Which I get, I understand that. Well, now go ahead, man. I mean, I'm in a relationship. I'm married. Yes. So it's basically, you know, it's, you know, and I'm in my house, and my wife is downstairs and can hear me. So it's wonderful. I have no problems.

I have to say, as a spectator, your relationship does look wonderful. I'm not just saying that. It seems like it's very healthy. Yes. It seems like you guys get along very well. You know, the team functions. I see what each of you do. In the team for the team and it works. Yeah, I mean, we get in the fights, we fight, we fought this weekend. I mean, we get a lot, you know, I read this article like, fucking 10 years ago, I think it was six years ago, about, they did a study on the relationships

of marriages that have been together for 50 plus years. People that have just been together. And it wasn't about love. Basically love doesn't exist. It's compatibility. You're compatible. If you meet somebody that you're compatible with, you know, I'm not to say they don't love my wife but she doesn't love me. We love each other. Sure, yeah. I love my wife. But it's something that you as a guy, I think my wife has loved me You know felt that and was able to express it for me

It was something that I had to learn how to be okay to do and then once you allow yourself to actually have emotions for a woman And trust her like like when I got married when when I said I do, and she went, she went, uh, hi, hello, my husband, right after we got married, it fucked me up. Because it, it took, like, all of a sudden, my trust issues went away. Something happened where I was like, it's my wife. Yes. I'm like, I went away. And, you know, since then, I've been able to, you know, I can, I mean, look, I don't give a shit. I can look at my wife and fucking ball up. You know, I get fucking,

like I was, but then you, but the perfect example we're lying in bed last week. She goes to bed. I go to bed. You know, you do the hard love. You know, she goes to bed. She puts her ear plugs in because sometimes I watch TV in the bed and she's got to get up. And I'm looking at her and I'm like, oh man, I'm just looking at her sleep and I'm like, my fucking wife, man. Oh, a couple of beautiful, all right. And I went over just to rub her face,

just to, you know, and give her a little kiss because I was really feeling like this love, you know? And I went over and I actually touched the earplug by accident and it like my finger hit it and it must have, you know, made a real loud noise and she woke up. What the fuck? What the fuck? She was aggravated because I woke her up in the wrong way and I was like, oh, I'm sorry.

I apologize. Jesus baby, I'm trying to sleep. What do you want? It's like nothing. Just trying to show. I just was looking at you and I felt a lot of love and I just wanted to caress your face slowly and apparently, you know, my fucking area plug and that pissed you off. That's what it is. It's a constant. You feel it and then you fucking brods got kicked out of the show. They were in the front row Saturday night for a second show, you know, talking on the cell phone. Every time you look over, talking, let them go for a while. They didn't shut the fuck up.

Too drunk. Finally shut the fuck up. Had them booted out. Found out they've seen me like four times and they love seeing me. I don't give give a fuck no, I know, but it just sucks when it when it's like that it sucks Well, it's like they went outside like we we come and see him all the time, but what are we doing? Talking yeah, I know I know it just sucks. It's unfortunate. It's unfortunate. They kicked themselves out I gave him every opportunity. Yeah, I got a minute you had a host a middleer and 20 minutes of my act to shut you fucking face I got to refuse. Because you drank too much. You're treating a fucking comedy club like it's a bar or a nightclub.

And it's not. Do that shit when you leave. Go get shit-faced and go to a club and talk and you app and be on your cell phone when you leave. If you're a fan, show the fuck up, have some fucking respect, hit your pie-hole shut. Yeah. Look, I look out and see people on the cell phones are checking that, whatever, I get that. I don't fucking respect. Should you get pie whole shut? Yeah. Yeah. Look, I look out and see people on the cell phones are checking that whatever I get that,

I don't fucking yeah. I don't kill you if you're doing that a couple of times. If you're constantly on it, but they left. And I didn't know they were that. I didn't know they were fans. You know, I thought they were just four hot chicks. And then we were walking back to the hotel. We're going to get some food and I was like, baby,

let me just get the pizza. Because if I bump into these girls on the street with you, my wife's a fighter. You know if I bump into these girls on the street with you My wife's get my wife's a fighter. You know, they mean if they say anything to me She's gonna go shut your fucking mouth, right? And I want to see you get North cat and she's like why? You know cuz she doesn't get she's like just let's go. Who gives a shit? I'm like I give a shit right cuz I don't want to fucking pull some fucking chick You know some touch it for Miami off of your fucking, you're getting your chick kicked out of your way

for it broads. I got a punch one of these fucking cuts in the face. Right. And then I'm in jail, you're in jail, everybody's in, and I'm getting sued. It's just, I go through that whole process in my head because I'm a fucking psycho. Right.

And I, you know, I get fucking nuts and I do that. Let me just go get the pizza myself. Now, I'll bring it back. I'll let me get the pizza myself now I'll bring it back or let me get the food myself and I'll bring it back just go to the hotel It's not a little fucking tiff, but we're over it. You know, I'm at the point now Where I don't have to get my point down a throat. I talked about it a little bit. We went through it I went in I gave her hug, you know, I love you. It's you know, but she gets it So it's better now, but it's hard man man. It's not an easy thing to be married and, but we're compatible. I can be with my wife for fucking 10 days straight and not

fucking want to stab her in the fucking neck. That's key. That's key. That's key. I always say that, dude. I've had, I've had out of the girls that I've dated in my life, right? You know, one of them really, dude, you know, I had a relationship that ended very, very poorly and was very damaging to me and probably to the other person in the long run of things and the big picture and there was a lot of fallout, they got really vindictive and it was nasty after the breakup, but I will say this,

like my mom was asking me the other day, like, you know, out of the girls you've dated in the past, who brought the shit to the table you were looking for. And my mom knows all about this psychotic thing that I went through and I was like, well, you believe it or not, it was that girl I could hang with her for a long time. We didn't want to kill each other. You know, it was like if I was cooking dinner

and was like, fuck, I fucking forgot to get goddamn garlic. You know what I mean? She'd be like, I got it. She fucking dart out the door and go get it. Right. You know, she pick up a check one now and then again, you know, let me get this. You got it last night.

You know what I mean? Like, she pick up a check one now and again, you know, let me get this, you got it last night, you know what I mean? Like, she brought all that, all the shit you could want in a girl to the table as far as the compatibility of the hangover, unfortunately, she turned out to be fucking bonkers and shit went awry, but that's hard to find, man. That's why so many times, guys are in a situation where you could be dating this girl that, you know,

she could be a super model, right? And she could be a delight in every, you know, if you constructed a girl in a laboratory, this girl would have every ingredient that you'd put into that, like weird science or whatever, but you go, I'm not into it. And somebody goes, why? What's wrong with you?

What are you fucking nuts? Guys get that all the time. And we do it to each other. It's like, dude, it's just, there's just not that hang part of it. She's great. She's great. She was, if you went to a store to buy a girlfriend, you'd pull her off the shelf. Yeah. She's great. She's great. She was if you went to a store to buy a girlfriend, you'd pull her off the shelf immediately and pay the most money for it. But it's like there's not

that fucking hang. There's not that god damn we were laughing and we were fucking you know. That's not your binky. I mean you get all those fuck does that mean. Yeah you get all the toys in the world but after a while you look in the corner and that follows toys a bro a break it on the fucking ground And third on them, but that little blanket you have is with you all you know You get a rip that out of a fucking kids hand. I remember my little blanket You know what I mean you get a I'm not the best analogy. No, it's a great That's the What the best present I ever got in my life hands down best present

What's a binky little blanket? Well, it wasn't a binky when I was a kid When I was a kid money Sorry, it does up races because your Arab you have Arab life Arab what you know you cuz you have Arab in you. Yeah, I just I was just In pants you're like a camel blanket. Oh, my parents are there. I know, I know, I know. That's all right. I got it.

What'd you get? I'm sorry. No, when I was, when I was a kid, I got, I was probably five. Oh, lamb. Yeah, lamb. Yeah, I got curry. Yeah, yeah, I was five. I guess I was five years old.

And my mom has pictures of it. But they gave me, my parents got me this talking Bugs Bunny stuffed animal. Right. And it was fucking defective. They said they bought me all this other shit that was way cooler. But I just was obsessed with this Bugs Bunny thing

and it didn't work right. And it was defective and I was like devastated. And I just was just holding it. Like it was an actual rabbit that died or something You know and like literally I don't know how many years later was I must have been 2021 At Christmas my mom gave me a talking bugs bunny stuff the animal really and she was like I've been looking for that for the last You know 16 years and they haven't made them and I finally found one

I was like, you know, it was the binky thing man. It was just a coolest. It was thoughtful gift anybody ever gave me You know like did she remember that and you know, that was my favorite present that year You have sucky thumb I don't remember. No, I sucked my two fingers. I sucked my two fingers too, bro. Did? Yeah, that's fuck. I used to suck these two fingers right here.

I used to suck these. I did these too. You did the index. I did the middle finger and the other thin one, next to the pinky. You know, I did it so much. You got bubbles on your fingers. Dude, they had to start putting like this sour shit on my fingers, because Medina was like,

they're going to fuse together if he doesn't stop doing that. Dude, do you have the ball, the little teeth mark in there? I don't know what the fuck. I don't know what the fuck. And they used to have to put that bullshit on your fingernails so that when you put in your mouth it tastes like shit. Yeah, it tastes like... Here's the kicker though, I took it to an extreme. I would use my pinky, get boogers, roll them on my upper lip and make them into a ball,

and just play with them. I have my fingers in my mouth, pick my nose, roll the booger into a perfect ball, and just roll it around on my upper lip, and then sometimes roll it into my mouth and wet it and roll it back. Yeah, dude. I did that until my first time getting arrested. 13. I remember I went to jail, they took me to the Charlestown Y, which was one of the worst Juvee jails in Boston at the time. It was at the top floor of a YMCA in Charlestown, which was a shit part of town and back then.

And it was all bunk beds in a room. Literally the window was next to the highway. You could reach out the window if you could and touch cars driving by. Like, it's 85 miles an hour. And we're on bunk beds and I was so scared that they were going to find out that I did this, that I never did it again. Those are the last time I did it. You were 13, you still sucked your fingers?

Yeah, I was just saying, dude, I just still sucked my fingers. And I was drinking and partying, but I would pick my nose. And you know, I just did the booger thing with kids, man, he never got that. I love picking a fucking ripe one out of my nose, but then I flick it. I never used to people that ate their boogers. I didn't eat it.

I never ate them. I ate them. I ate them. I ate them, I ate them, occasionally. I would take a booger out of my nose and put it under a desk or a chair and come home after school and get it Because then it would harden up a little bit and be like moist and hard

Yeah, there's a nest is fucking nasty. Yeah, I never did it. Yeah, I know. What are you gonna do? I didn't think you did. Yeah, I was I was all excited when you sucked your fingers though. I stopped when I was five Well, all right, well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're adopted parents who are better than my real parents. Parents that was singular. I got another question there from Kevin Marshall. One of you guys going to make this a regular show,

thoughts on Android. Like I said, a couple of weeks. I have been doing this regular. You know what, dude? Podcasts have been going up for at least over a month, once a week, on Tuesdays or Monday Tuesdays, sometimes twice a week. But I definitely, it's, I get some news coming out in the next couple of weeks that will definitely Android users and everybody is going to be happy with.

So I'll make that announcement soon And they love your intro Ah, I do too. That's very nice. It's a great intro. Like you said, it's not bad ass It's it's cool. It's it's yeah, it's mate Nick, Nick, Nick. It's a cool. Yeah, it's a little smooth Ah, have you and Joe? This is from Angelahuh. Have you enjoyed this from Angela Rodriguez? Have you enjoyed ever fought over food? Like the last piece of cake or chicken? Oh, who fights over chicken? I can answer that. We haven't, we

haven't fought about food, but we fought over food, meaning there was food on the table that we were screaming over. And the other. The fucking Abish market. How many fights within that place where we're screaming over a pile of lunch meat and somebody walks out? Well, you know, it's their me and Joe on a regular basis. We usually go, especially in the summertime, we do the old Pope of Greenwich Village.

We go to the Amish market, we get a bunch of deli made Italian, fucking really good, so prosada, brajuto, fucking cheeses. And then we get all of Joe gets the olives, he gets the side little artichokes and some crazy shit. We sit there at this table that everybody sits at. There's around maybe 20 seats. We sit in the middle usually and just take over and we usually get to a fucking heated debate and arguing, screaming y'all at each other, one of us leaves. It always starts so nice.

And then it did, yeah, it really turns into like a Thanksgiving thing with your family by the end of it, you're all screaming at each other. Yeah, we, yeah. Yeah, Jesus Christ. You know what I was doing last week? What? I was so fucking good dude. I got a stick of borset pepperoni and I got a brick of aceago cheese and then I

got those pepper and chienes. You know the jar, the green pepper and chienes, the hot peppers. Yeah. And I was just making little, put a slice of cheese and a slice of pepper already, a slice of the pepper and chini on top. Just fucking eating it was so good. And then I figured out that if you eat just a slice of the pepperoni with one of the pepper and chini's on top of it, it tastes like those hot,

pickled sausages that you can get at like 7-11. Oh, dear. I was fucking, which by the way, if you haven't had it yet, do you have the osyago chicken sandwich from Wendy's yet now? It's good Murderous dude. It's one of the fucking greatest things ever. Please prepare to Chick-fil-A Dude, look Chick-fil-A is the greatest Chick-fil-A is super unique Dude this thing is so fucking good. I literally will sit and think about it.

Like when I get it in my head, I'm like, I gotta go get it. I don't give a fuck. Is that when you sent me the picture of the other day? Yeah. Was that in a double stack burger? Double stack burger, a lot of fry and the ASEAGO chicken. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. Dude, you can get it with whatever chicken patty you want. So I get it with the spicy chicken patty. Yeah. So spicy chicken patty you want. So I get it with the spicy chicken patty.

So spicy chicken patty, aciago cheese, bacon, lettuce tomato, and then they just dump ranch dressing on it. Dude, it's so fucking good. The sound of get the honey. It's just a junior.

Get the honey. Yeah, dude, that sounds good. I literally right now, I'm so, I've eaten so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so do you when you when you you fucking eat so much pizza and sodium food You feet swell up and you fat finger. I can't get my wedding ring off in the shower My fucking neck just feels like it goes from my chin to my nipples I'm always in a hot cold state like that clammy Just you could put a fucking piece of toilet paper on my head and it will stick in the middle of a refrigerator If I could be in a fucking freezer in a kitchen Just I've been I've been feeling like shit all day. So I'm going back. Oh good tomorrow. I'm back on the fucking wagon

Fuck this is something about it when you're just eating you take the bite of that chicken sandwich and the bread the bun is soft and Sweet and then the lettuce crunch and then the the ranch hits you and then the crunch, the bun is soft and sweet, and then the lettuce crunch, and then the ranch hits you, and then the crunch of the fucking, and then the heat of the chicken, and then the moistness, the textures that you keep and tongue go through, and you lift, and then you bite down on your chew,

and it blends it all up in your mouth, and then you swallow. Oh my God, I want to cheesecake factory. They have chicken sliders. A little fried chicken sandwiches you get four of them. That's what makes me happy Joe. Four of them. Yeah I know. Not just one, four. I'd love to go in and get four of everything and I don't have to eat it all just to know that it's not gonna end. Yeah. Until the pain goes away. Oh dude. Oh dude Dude my friend chip just lost a ton of weight

But he was he was up there in the way and he was just his name chip Yeah, yeah, but he was one of those guys dude. He used to get he was a real food guy Yeah, and he's diabetic So he's got a real thing for sweets and bread and shit. The two things he told me that he ate before that was making me laugh so hard and I was like you're gonna die dude. He didn't die with he got he'll get no key and if you don't know what no key is it's you're an asshole. Yeah it's little pasta things fill with potato. Yeah, it's little pasta that they fill with potato. Yeah, most of you douchebags call them gnocchi's. Right? Yeah, you're getting yokey. Take out for this Italian joint where

we grew up and then you get a loaf of Italian bread with it. I knew we'd make yokey sandwiches and it's like pasta sandwich with potato. I was like, dude, you guys you have every carb in your diabetic. You're going to fucking die, dude. What's wrong with you? And then that and then we get those fucking chocolate pudding pops. You get boxes of those. And I go, what the fuck did I say to him once?

I go, I go, I go, those things are a problem, dude. He goes, the only problem is, D5 or 6. He would eat a whole fucking box of those things, dude. Is it good? Thank God he stopped, dude. I was like, you're gonna fucking die, you know? His sandwich. I actually want to try that.

Just to fucking try it one day. When he told me that I was laughing so hard, I was just like, it's like forbidden fruit to diabetics, dude. They can't have bread. You know what's, oh, they love it. You know what's funny about me and you is that the question was about relationships and it's somehow going on to our relationship with food.

That's what it goes to. It's food. That's the real relationship. That's the real real. That's the real fucking relationship you have in your life that goes up and down. Well, you do. Yeah, you just gave me

up sitting here before we were starting recording, I go, I go, I'm hungry, man. And I was going to order food, and I go, you know what, fuck it. I'll just get something on the way home. And then you were like, no, dude, look, I got leftover sesame chicken, just eat it. And I was so hungry that I had to eat it,

but I was sad eating it, because I was like, now I don't have anything to go home with. Because that's all I could think of, it was the loneliness of home, just having that sandwich in bed, watching like playing the apes, some lowly guy movie. But it's such a beautiful thing, right?

They could have a pillow made of like a, just a sandwich pillow, and the home that wouldn't fucking, you know, go bad. They could have a pillow made of like a sandwich pillow. They could hold. That wouldn't fucking go bad. Dude, this is nothing better. And I can't do it because I'm married. She just let me eat down in the fucking bedroom. Very rarely.

Once in a while I'll show be crashed out and I'll sneak food down there. But I eat up here. So I fucking bein' in the hotel room on the road With a fucking towel a towel over you fucking stomach With a sob and a bag of chips or pizza a whole pizza on your stomach and a root beer that's fucking And the movie just started like some Liam Neeson film that you never really saw in the theater And it knows gonna be really good

Some dude Some subs Subs are greatest dude. I what I went back home to Philly last week or to whatever it was Memorial day I ate a fucking hoagie every day for lunch Every day to fucking hoagie for lunch. I couldn't stop there. This fucking video. I really couldn't stop.

There's so, we're gonna find a fucking sub place in New York that makes a good sub. Cause I haven't found one yet. I haven't found one yet. I'm, she's all right. It's all right, but it's you know, you gotta, you gotta talk them through it. You gotta be like slice the meat like this.

Yeah. Put this on it. None of that vinegar. I want that vinegar. Like you gotta go to a place where they're like, we got it, dude. We know what the fuck. You go to a sub shop. Yeah.

We always like to be sort of sub shop in New York City. There's no sub, you own boss and you own boss and it says sub shop. Joe's sub shop. I'm telling you what it changed your fucking life, dude. It is, I'll take you down to Phillies, down in the East Village, or is it Lower East Side? That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- That's how they make- Thatilly, but they make them the way they are in Philly. The good ones that I've told you about. But dude, you get a fucking cheese steak with American cheese, the tomato sauce and mushrooms on it. Dude, I burn my mouth every time I'm there because I can't wait to fucking eat it.

I'm just like, wait and for, dude, we were friends for 10 years. Let's get this going. Let's go down there. Somebody actually said to about you that Joe D kicked ass on Fox News film of Andy Lieberman last week, which you did, which is funny. That was super fun, man. You get to wear the bow tie. No, yeah, you want to be to wear a bow tie. I couldn't find one. God damn it, I wanted to fucking wear a bow tie. Yeah, that was a blast. I did it for two nights. We had a fucking great time, man. Yeah, that was I didn't get to see it because I was

doing shows, but it's online actually, actually for anybody out there that gives a shit, if you go to FoxNews.com slash Red Eye, the clips of me doing that are on there, you know, go and check them out. It can't hurt to have a few hits on there. I'm gonna go check them out and leave some comments as it can and I think Fox News just come out with an app. I don't know if Red Eye's on it.

They did come out by the app. Yeah, I don't know, I gotta download the app actually. But that's great, that's great. You feel dead And then these couple other guys actually there's this one thing we'll talk about that Maybe you'll bail out on because you don't really know about it, but you'll have an opinion about it rampage Jackson. Do you know him? He's a guy played Barakus. Yeah, he's a fighter. Yeah, he's crazy He actually did an interview with a female interviewer, MMA interviewer, Karen Bryant.

Any at the end of it, he kind of was like, oh, you're making me horny. You know what I mean? And he kind of pretended to motorborder. To fucks me up, you know, to a book. Pretended, didn't do it. Like from across the, no, like he was next to what I'd do in the interview. Oh, right. OK. I got upset. That's him, you know, to a book, pretended, didn't do it. Like, from across the, no, like, he was next to what I do in the interview.

Oh, right, okay. That's him, though. He's a goofball. He does that shit. He's a fucking, you know, he's in that case. And now he's in trouble? Well, a lot of, she, she's actually a good interviewer. I, you know, I love, there's a guy, Ariel Hawani,

who's my favorite. And I feel bad for him lately because now he's getting known. Now that MMA's getting big, he's getting known. And some of the stuff he talks about, you know, as Howard Cossal and all these guys at interview boxers and fighters, you know, these guys take offense sometimes to shit you say. Or misconstruer, or they just don't understand or get it second hand. And he's kind of getting into shit with some of the fighters. to shit you say or misconstruer it or you just don't understand or get it second hand. Right. And he's kind of getting into shit with some of the fighters.

Right. A kind of fucking with him now. The more popular that he's getting, they kind of know who he is now. Right. But he's one of my favorites. He does great interviews. And this Karen Bryant does MMA heat. She actually does great interviews.

And a lot of people, she's a hot chick. She knows what she's talking about. She does great interviews. They're funny, they're cool. But she also didn't really, it's not like she wants people to do that, she wants to be taken serious, but she got it. She knows it's rampage, she knows he's fucking stupid like that.

She didn't really take offense to it, which I give her credit for, but all the other women did. All the other sports casters did. Like, we work hard to f***** it now because of that. We're not going to be taken serious. Listen, everybody needs to shut the f***** up, except for us. It's, yeah, but it's this simple. If something takes place between two people, and obviously, look,

we're not talking about that if a guy beats his wife and his wife is afraid and doesn't want to say anything and you know that that's bad for her and she needs to talk. We're not saying that you shouldn't try to help somebody situation like that. But if something like that, like this rampaging you're talking about, takes place to two people and both parties don't give a shit and they're cool with it, you need to shut the fuck up about it, man. You need to shut the fuck up about it, man. You need to shut the fuck up.

And it's like, I love Reese Witherspoon. I think she's a great actress, but she did that thing on the MTV Awards where she's like, you know, because they're all saying it's this Blake lively shit because there's the rumor going around. There's a nude photo of Blake Live. There is, I saw it.

Yeah, and Reese comes out and goes, when I came up, you didn't have to do that and done it and done it and done. And these girls, you can be sweet and Hollywood. And it's like, listen, you can have that opinion. And if somebody asks you about that question, questions you about that. Five. Or if you write a book and you want to put that out there, five.

But when you do it in the way that you're directly criticizing somebody else in an open forum That doesn't have a problem with their behavior. Sometimes you kind of need to shut the fuck up. Well, here's the thing dude I I saw it reached it. I agree with her though Paris Hilton all these fucking the stupid other broads What the fucking card asians? Look at all the girls that are fucking every all reality shows and a multi-millionaires in show business. TMZ falls them around every move they make. They keep getting show after show after show. They won't let these cock suckers fail because middle America wants to watch these fucking dits and where does it come from? Where does it come from? Then you get some

senator sent the picture of his chest or whatever of his joke of his junk Okay, you send your fucking picture your cock to somebody Specifically and you get canned but somehow Paris Hilton becomes a multi-millionaire offer Then she's sucking a cock and taking it up the fucking poop shoot and fucking Kardashian's fucking the shit out Everybody and then she has a family show really you put a fucking tape out there and they had to agree to put those tapes out there dude they made money off of it they made millions off of the tape itself so you know what I agree with Reese it you know what you don't have to go out if you're broad if you got no talent back in the day dude you had to be talented to

actually make it in the business and then it was astronomical now you can be a crab fisherman, a fucking some dumb whore who sucks at dick on some fucking night vision. I got that. And you put it out there and all of a sudden you're famous. Fuck you. But that's the slippery slope that you have to deal with. The point my point is, it's either, so she can say that,

the knees girls on UFC can say this. You know what I mean? It becomes this very slippery slope and it's it's a time it look you can say whatever you want. But to me, actually what was on Red Eye one time we were talking about the the football player that said if they if the football agreement didn't happen and football didn't come on this year their crime rates were going to rise and all that shit because of how much people have invested football. And my take on that is, look, there's just an entropy factor there. If ours, you're on the fucking, you know what, dude podcast, right, right? Okay,

it's a step up from a rich boss podcast. Okay, so bring it back down. All right, fine. Redefine. Entropy means that all systems... I don't want to know what it means. Just don't help out. I'll tell you, I don't know another word for it. Entropy means that all systems, all systems in nature, all existing systems

will eventually start to break down, right? So with this kind of shit, this societal thing where it's like, well now all these people are doing this, now the Midwest tunes in and everything you just said, there's an entropy factor there. And my whole take is, hey, if this fucking country is going to fall to pieces because a couple chicks suck the dick, you know, with their night vision video cameras or because football goes away or because there's too much reality TV out there. Hey, so be it, we're fucking doomed anyway.

Something was gonna pull that fucking plug eventually. Yeah, but I like the fact that a girl will go out there and say, you know what, you don't have to be a fucking whore and making fucking videos to make it in the business. You can actually go out there and try to become talented, take acting classes and fucking work on your craft and make it in the business. You can actually go out there and try to become talented, take acting classes, and fucking work on your craft, and make it in the business. I agree with that.

I don't have a problem with her saying that in a public forum, what I said was, my shut the fuck up thing comes into play. When it's like, you don't go on the VMAs, and fucking take a passive aggressive shot at somebody else that may or may not have a problem with what they did. It's like, dude, you're on the VMAs. You could fucking go on, if the fucking, if MTV was popular and existed in Nazi Germany, okay?

You could have went on the VMAs and said, guys, this is wrong, Hitler's wrong. Nobody would have fucking listened. That fucking audience is not going to listen. That's not the forum for it. Nobody's going to walk away from the VMAs and go, you know what, guys? Reese changed it.

I hear you, but I'm just glad that she did it because none of them do. Because they're all Hollywood. They're worried about fucking having bad press they're worried about saying what they really think and nobody said anything about Paris Hilton like one of these girls she came out and fucking said these dummies are fucking idiots I love it because fucking Paris Hilton is a fucking piece of shit MTV MTV is not pretty she's fine I'll go find she's a fucking fine shit. A lead us that I find

Fucking a lead, but MTV MTV is a major engine Absolutely, that's that's that's that's driving that fucking vehicle So it's like all right I understand Rees if you don't if you have a problem with that that don't go on fucking MTV Right don't take the MTV exposure or the cash and then go, I have a problem with it. Because MTV is the one that when that fucking teenage lesbian girl group was popular, when they performed on the music awards, they had fucking 17 year old girls all over the

stage and Catholic schoolgirl outfits making out with each other. Was that on the internet? With rain coming down on them? Where's this? I don't know if it's on the internet. I can't remember the name of the group. They were called, I can't remember. You know, MTV's the one that put Britney Spears on there

in a fucking short skirt and a belly shirt when she was 16 years old. MTV is responsible for the hills that spawned those two fucking memorize. Give it a different, you're talking about a difference between sexy and fucking, you know, artistical choices and being just a nothing human being. Well, the hill, hang on, hang on.

Exactly, they're fucking idiots. Nothing human beings and becoming famous and getting all the fucking benefits of television and fame and fans and money for nothing. You have no worth. You have nothing to offer anybody. You have no opinion. You're a fucking dumb shallow, fucking empty human being

that gets the benefits. And you don't even need them. Have these people come from rich families and they have the cash, but they just keep fucking being put out there. We keep watching this horse shit. I just, I fucking, I, it's just, it's so, it's so bad that Parasite and show bombed

because she's a hunk of shit. She's a fucking train wreck. And this, this can't, right? I understand though, like, you get a woman that's going into a locker room with football players and baseball players, and back of the day, it couldn't happen. They have to keep some type of boundaries up, some type of electrical fence,

when one of these guys goes, hey, and hits them on the, and they, whoa, shit, I can't do that. Don't do that, because if they could, they'd have to fucking deal with a lot of sexual harassment, and we'd lose a lot of fucking really, if something happened to Jackson over this rampage That would suck because I love rampage, you know, I love that he's hilarious and if she actually did get offended by that

He would be suspended. He'd get fucked. It would be all over the fucking place. He'd lose a career He look it out. You know, he that would really hurt his career. Thank God that she's she knows better that she's like, look, he was kin, relaxed, which is great. I have a total respect for her. And it's it's she's a good interviewer too. She's not, uh, she does a lot of good stuff. She's not, uh, you know, just a hot chick doing interviews with some of these girls. Sometimes they have that like some hot chick. So rampage, they don't even know what fighting is. They don't know what the fucking Jiu-Jitsu is. They don't even know anything about the sport. They're interviewing these guys and they're just smoking hot chicks. That bugs me. Yeah. And those are the girls. I used to rip my fucking hair out

when G4 first came on and they'd have like these like borderline supermodel chicks on there talking, talking to guys like me about video games. Fuck you! And I get it! I get it! I get them... I understand the strategy behind that, which is these geeks want to see a hot chick and think that, oh, they're out. They don't play fucking video games. Yeah, we don't want to see them either. I know they see a fat dude who knows what he's talking about with a beard that doesn't connect and some fucking kooky saying t-shirt

talking about a video game telling me all I need to know is some dumb hot broad telling it's really good you know it's it's it's the graphics are fun shit the fuck up. I mean my whole thing is like there are there are artists out out there it's it gets harder and harder every year to exist, where to subsist as a true artist. If you really wanna follow your art and do what you believe in, it gets harder and harder and harder.

But they're out there and these people exist and it's like, and they don't step into the world that they don't respect. It's like, John Kusak, great fucking example. I saw him inside the actor studio one time and he goes, they asked him a question about like, we don't ever see you in the tabloids. Like you're a wildly famous person.

We never see you in us weekly. And he goes, I don't get that. It doesn't make any sense. These people put their entire lives in the public eye because he's basically saying, let's cut the shit here here people if you want to be in those magazines you're in them. It's not an accident. You go to the places where they photograph you whatever. I'll tell you a little secret. These people make money off of that. These stars, British spears, all those fucking people, Paris Hilton, they'll call

up the tabloids and say I'm gonna be here at this time and I'll let you get these photos and you'll pay me this much money. They make money off of it. They make thousands of dollars off of telling the tabloids like okay I'm going to have my baby. The baby is going to be with us at this restaurant at this time. You'll be the only ones that know this. You're going to give me fucking 20 grand for these photos, because you're gonna sell them for 50 grand. They make money off of this shit. There's an underlying, there's a black market

fucking going on with the stars and the TMC. They're making money off of this. That people don't know about. The people, they actually have their publicists call up and bother and deal. You know, and they do what the club they're going to. I'll go to your club tonight. You give me $10, 15 grand, and they're making thousands of dollars just to be fucking putting these magazines.

Well, then that's the thing that goes back to the point again about Reese. It's like, again, I think she's a great actor. I respect her, but it's like, if you,'s a great actor I respect her but it's like if you if you're right oh my god do you just do something just like electrically shot up my shin my shin bones this is crazy dude I'm fucking bad I actually couldn't bend my arm for two days because I was we've around, we had some sati time, and I was, you know, holy... Oh, we, you're in your wife. Yes, yeah, and I was holding my arm, like holding myself up, you know, for too long, and the next day my arm didn't bend.

For two days I couldn't, and this is the hand I washed my dick with, I couldn't, I had to learn how to clean my ass with my right hand, but it doesn't stretch far than off over. It was fucking awful. Anyway, the last point I was going to make was, it's like, look, if she's got such a problem with this machine that exists, then take yourself out of the machine. She's in the tabloids constantly. She's on all these things that promote this lifestyle. And it's like, you can easily step out of that. You don't have to fucking live in the nucleus of Hollywood. I'm so fucking little, but she's done the work to get there.

She's done good acting work to get there. She's won an Oscar. She's done a lot of great movies. She's an actress. She's devoted herself to acting. Sure, like you devoted yourself to a comedian. That's like some hot chick making a fucking, some cut comedian girl making a sex tape and then becoming famous because of a sex tape.

That's like, sure. Last comic standing, making fucking these guys who are nobody's, but they got 15 minutes of material, headliners, making thousands and thousands of dollars, throwing them out there to the fucking wolves, and people going to see them, and they can't even headlinen, they're gonna do the middle spot. Sure, but to me, as opposed to a guy who worked 20 years

to become a headliner, when you go, there's a difference between Reese Witherspoon and a Parasel. Of course, there's a huge difference. I'm not saying there's not a difference. What I'm saying is, is you can't be a part of the machine if you don't respect the machine. That's what I'm saying.

And I understand that show business is dirty and we sucks. I get it. And I'm sure it gets, I know it gets dirtier and dirtier the higher you get, and you got to be more and more careful with each step up that you take. But it's like if you don't like this lifestyle, it's like, dude, it's like me saying it's a, I can't even think of like a fucking equivalent of it, but it's just like, then don't be a part of that shit.

Don't go into the tabloids that promote this lifestyle. Right. Because that's what the tabloids want. All right. Well, we're gonna move on because we're over an hour. We are. Yeah, two weeks ago, you wanted to get the fuck off in 20 minutes. Now you want to have to wait one. All right, well, we're going to move on because we're over an hour. We are? Yeah, two weeks ago, you wanted to get the fuck out for 20 minutes. Now you want to shut the fuck out.

All right, all right. All right, well, wait, we're going to do Tech Talk really. We're going to do Tech at the end. We're going to do a real quick Tech Talk. I just want to go through a couple of these. Loreno J, CDR 999, Eagle fucking Eagle fucking whatever your name is 513. All you guys, fun fact guy, the awful hour, all those guys and all the people that email me, thanks for emailing him.

We're going to talk about the actual iOS that just came out today. That's the tech talk today, which is finally, finally. No, finally. The iOS 5 has come back. Look and look sick. Oh, looks great. You got the you got everything in there. You got the finally, you got the the screen of the you can finally have all your emails and your texts and your phone calls, your voice mail is right on your front screen without having to go into the phone, open up this and open up that, it just scrolls down. The stuff comes down, you swipe. They finally added the swipe up the top. They have the

messaging, the BBS, like- Oh, the new calendar looks insane. New calendar. Do list. Airplay. iPad. instead of, I bought the HDMI code, I'm gonna fucking return it. I got a fucking 40 dollar fucking adapter that I had to put into my TV to get my iPad on my TV. Now, I don't even need it. Just fucking throw your iPad up on your TV,

watch YouTube videos, go to the fucking internet, unfuck and believable. Yeah, it's sick. Unbelieveable, my favorite part, my favorite part, the camera. They finally put, allow you to use the volume button as the fucking camera button, without having to fucking curve your finger around and guess where the fucking button is on the phone right to take a self portrait

Because you can take a picture with the front facing camera, but the sucks right to shit fucking photo Right, you always want to turn it around and get a good photo now boom You're in just like a regular camera and you can edit and fuck with it inside of there and tweet it right out from Yeah, that instant edit thing is great. We can lighten or dark in the picture. Oh, it's great. Yeah, it's just fucking great, man It's it's it I've never seen an update like this. It's like a new phone. Yeah, it's a new phone new iPad New new new every split keyboard where you put it in half and type. Yeah, that's fucking great It's amazing split keyboard you use your thumbs to fucking type now. Also with the new Safari Wii, you can actually save and read

on a plane the articles. They have the Instamper right in the Safari now. So you can be read and shit on the cab or whatever. And then you know the plane, you can still finish the articles. And you get finally do tabs, internet tabs, instead of having to do the stupid fucking windows that zoom out. Are you still? You don't like the windows? No. Give me the tabs, dude. the the thing that's fucking really, really fucking great is the camera. I love the photos. I love. And this is the other thing that's good is fucking PC free. You don't need a PC. Yeah. Well, yeah, you don't, yeah, you don't need any computer to start it up. But now when you come home,

it wifi sinks your phone automatically. Yeah, it's very interesting though. I'm very excited about this. And you know I went to the droid phones for a little while. Right. And you know that would I in a hard time switching back to the iPhone because of all the shit the droid phones could do. Right. And basically now Apple took a major page out of the droid interface

and made the iPhone and iPad interface very, very similar to what a droid interface is like. Now, it's great news because now you're gonna have this seamlessly functioning phone by Apple that can do basically all the shit the droid can do. Which is fucking great. But what's interesting about that is I read an article recently about Apple, where Apple was getting kind of standoffish about other companies taking a page out of

their book. And the criticism was Apple kind of always did that. Apple like they had interviews and Steve Jobs from back in the day saying like, look, we borrow from the best and then we create our own thing more or of the things that said in the interview was like, man, this is the beginning of a new era for Apple because Apple is no longer... Now they're starting to fucking copy from other people. For a while, Apple was leading the pack. They sort of learned from everybody,

then they came up with their own shit and led the pack. Now they're starting to borrow. And this is straight out of droid shit? I'm shocked about that a little bit Well, it's it's necessary because you needed these things But the one thing that you Apple does though that droid doesn't do is they when they do do it Well like when they're with cut and paste they didn't have cut and paste you had cut and paste on blackberry You had cut and paste on other phones, but it was fucking annoying. It was you know shitty cut and paste on blackberry, you had cut and paste on other phones, but it was fucking annoying. It was shitty cut and paste. They didn't release cut and paste until they figured out how to do it the best way for their phone.

And now cut and paste with the iPhone, fucking brilliant. You tap on it, you want to, it brings up the correct word if you misspelled it. If you want a copy cut and paste, you can fucking select, select all. It's flawless. So when they do do something, they do it right. And they make it so it doesn't fuck up the phone. I think a lot of these things with the Android phones, you can get all this shit on it,

and you go nuts. It's like jailbreak in your phone. You go nuts, but then you realize that a lot of the shit fucks up your phone. And you dump it and you go back to what it was. When you get an apple, when they add these things to it, it's fucking flawless. It works with the phone seamlessly and you're not going to have to worry about it fucking up your phone.

Like you do want an Android. That's why I went back to the iPhone because I said I'll sacrifice not having certain things for a phone that works perfectly. Right. And I got a lot of email, a lot of Twitter today. They've had this on Android for years or whatever. Yeah, I know. But again, an Android phone fucks up.

They're not the best phones. A fucking iPhone as far as, yes, I know the phone sucks, but it's gotten a lot better too. I don't have as many problems as I used to have with my iPhone, my AT&T iPhone, but the actual phone itself, I mean, you're going from a movie to a fucking news, to my flights, to my emails, to my texts,

to listen to the music on the fucking same airport within fucking seconds. And now to have all these functions available on my iPad, MI iPhone, it's fucking brilliant. And you can get it now. A couple of people Twitter me pages that you can download a beta version without being a programmer and you can actually download it and put it on your phone. It's not flawless, it's beta and it's got to have some fuck-ups and it might not have all the features yet

but you can pretty much get it. That's legal, like, put it out there for a read. It's beta, it's not, you know, you can pretty much get it. That's legal, like, then put it out there for a read. It's beta, it's not, you know, you can't complain about it. They need developers to do this to actually figure out the flaws and how it works with apps and they need to, you know, kind of flush out all the bugs. That's them flushing out the bugs. So I don't think you, you know, if you're a novice,

I don't know that you should do it, if you're a novice, I know that you should do it, but I'll do it because I know how to get my phone back and I know a lot of nerves that will help me out if I need to, you know, I'm not going to brick my phone and I would love to check it out now and I can't wait. So, well, if I do it and my phone excels, you just re-factor your phone, right? Yeah, you reboot it. You put it back to factory. You have to, you save it. Before you do it, you have to, you reboot it. You put it back to factory. You have to save it. Before you do it, you have to sync your phone, have a backup, do it. If your phone fucks up, you just put it back to factory settings, and then go back to

that last backup and it puts all your shit back on your phone. So you really can't break your iPhone anymore. But I'm going to do it. You can go to a couple of people, people, Twitter me some sites that you can go to to actually get it done. If you go to my Twitter and just look through the feed there, look through some of the feeds, it's up there. So I'm going to do it. But I think it's amazing. And I this is the biggest, the biggest upgrade to an iPhone

software, iPad software, the OS, and fucking ever. Yeah, it's a whole new phone. It's a whole fucking new phone. And it's only gonna get better because now apps are gonna start using the swipe. So if you can use the swipe side swipe to get a Twitter app, like QuickTweet was one of my favorite apps on a Geobroek and Phone.

Any app you're in, you can just swipe sideways and the tweet would come up and you can take a photo, take a video, tweet, boom, boom, and then it goes away and it sends it out, which is great. So anyways, another thing that comes out this week that just came out to let you guys know is, I have a brand new HUSA page. HUSA is my new page, my website is going to direct towards HUSA, all my videos, all my photos are going to be

up there. Instead of throwing them out on Twitter and having them out on Facebook and this Facebook, I'm merging both of my Facebook accounts to be one. And all my videos and tweets are going to be going from HUSA, how to you guys to Twitter and it's going to bring you back to HUSA. My dates are up there on lafstub.com, all my links to the podcast are going to be up there and all my videos and photos, all the new stuff is going to be up there for you guys to check out.

It's a pretty flawless system. The videos come up flawless. You can like it. You can retweet it. You can comment on it right in there on Facebook. So go check it out. It's Hussain.com slash Robert Kelly. Check out my new Hussain page.

You can check out joderosacomity.com at joderosacomity on Twitter. Robert Kelly, you know me on Twitter. And I got some big news coming out next week in the next couple weeks. So keep checking back. Make sure you go to iTunes and subscribe to the podcast. That's how the podcast gets in to the top 100. The more subscribers that listen to it and download it, we get in.

If you just listen to it on my website or wherever, it's not going up to iTunes and they're not rating it. So, and if you do, you do. If you don't, you can't. I don't give a shitty. They just listen to the goddamn podcast. Thank you guys for all and one girl. It was just one shit. This is this podcast. Joe, thanks for coming on again. I'm glad we cleared the air. Yes. Thank you. It's good to have my, my, my, my compadrate back. Thank you. It's good to have my my Compodrate back. Thank you. It's good to be here as he's on his phone right now. I was just letting you wrap up all right Jesus I love to be here. I'm glad to be here. I mean, Compodrate was kind of touching when you said that all right cool All right, that's it. Thank you. y Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras desperan.

¡Y parás! Vuelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que César prenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. destinos que se sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.