Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Skankfest 2022 Jim Norton, Rich Vos, Dave Attell

Episode Date: October 23, 2022

This week Jim Norton, Rich Vos and Dave Attell join Robert Kelly from Skankfest Vegas! Our listeners can get 30% off mattresses PLUS 2 free pillows, or get 40% off when you bundle a mattress with their award-winning adjustable base. Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for a limited time. Robert Kelly "Kill Box" AVAILABLE NOW at LouisCK.com Patreon.com/RobertKelly to watch Unedited and Ad Free PLUS Watch Episodes LIVE and GET Bonus Episodes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos lía. Un humenaje de mao, a Madrid. 3 por 1, 3 por 1, 3 por 1, 3 por 1, 3 por 1, 3 por 1, 3 por 1, 3 por 1, 3 por 1, Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar tu del 3 por 1 en mediana, salomicidio solo pidiendo al line. ¿Saparao? 3 por 1, 3 por 1, ahas a domicilio solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? 3 por 1, 3 por 1, ah no no no. ¡Dominos!

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it. He paid for everything. And I need you to go and support this special. Go by it. Louis CK dot com. Robert Kelly's kill box. I hope you enjoy it. Leave a comment and get it and spread the word right now. Louis CK dot com. Go get it. We're all starting before them all. Why can't I die? You did. This podcast is so fun and crazy. And there's no rules. Shut up! You ruining this! For the more than a man, I'm so sorry.

It's not any podcast. This is an NPR. That's what the podcast does. Is there any better show? There's the original storyline. We can't get it! What's up dudes and dudes,ettes? Oh, you make me feel so good. You make me feel so good. What's up, fuckers?

How you doing? You're fucking silly. Fuck it. I'm going to bring these people right the fuck out right now. You know him, you love him. He told me to say his name first. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the legend Rich Voss and Jim Norton. If they... If they... If they... If they... Fuck, suck it!

They were right there! They sweated on! And they fucking left! Get the fuck out of here! All right, a better intro? Ladies and gentlemen, you know this guy. He's been shit on, pissed on, and he likes a big car. And the first white guy to play Jeff Dam,

he has a really famous wife. Give it up for Rich Boss, everybody. Cheers. Jeff Dam. Jeff, what is it? Jeff Dam. I don't know those black shows, I don't fucking, I didn't do that shit. Not a pandemic, it's a damn panic.

Alright. I invited Jim Norton, not fucking Jeff. Oh, yeah, I don't know. You get two chips and one duck and that's it. And no eggers, you do egger, I'm fucking leaving. Please do egger. Rich is telling a really good story backstage about a guy approaching you and going, stop.

What happened? Yeah, what happened? Tell us the story. No, I was just one of the fans are so great here. I was walking down the street and this guy just said, stop, and he wanted to talk, I'm going. This is amazing how the people are just so happy and having a great time.

And it was a pleasure to see this guy on the street. Why are you holding the mic with two hands? Is it heavy? Because I'm praying that this ends quickly. So is the audience. Why don't you tell the fucking story? It's a fucking guy. I'm walking down the audience. Why did you tell the fucking story? Tell the fucking guy I'm walking down the street, he's got a beer and he goes to stop me and I almost hit him. But then I realize I'm too old and I don't want to get fucked up.

And I go, what do you need, sir? That's it. He just, why do you make me tell bad stories? Because you put us through it in the back and I'm like, they're gonna suffer too. Oh, look at Norton told a joke, his eyes went wide open. Fucking blinky cock sucker. Right on both counts. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can't sue him for slaying. It's 50-50, come goes in your eye. 50-50, your jokes work. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I'd say it's more 20-80, Bob. Yeah. Yeah. You said, wow, look at this mess. Yeah, I think you look good. So do I. I like your earrings.

Is that a take a long time to do? But your cock is, you got shit in your cock, too, right? Yeah, you got shit in your cock. I didn't know he was talking to him. What, your dick is pierced? Four times, do you have a girlfriend? You wonder why. I know, you have chandeliers hanging off your ears.

Your dick is fine. I know. And be careful, because he has magnetic teeth. It might have been good if you didn't trip on magnetic. I know. Make the difference. Yeah, but he should get credit for trying that, bro. But everyone saw that.

I know, and I felt it. Yeah, make the difference. So did I. It's fun watching those giant fences try to chew gum. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- you when you went here and look good. That's fair, that's fucking fair. Yeah, so what are you gonna say? I'm gonna say, when did you get your teeth done? Over the last, I don't know, $75,000, fucking dollars.

Jesus Christ, when did veterinarians become so expensive? He said, why is he so quick? Yeah, I had him done like, I don't know, six years. $65,000, fucking dollars. Yeah. Did Bonnie let give you a loan? No, please. I could have bought two tiny houses with my fucking shoes.

Enough with your fucking dumb tiny house. Oh, I'm into woods finding myself. How hard is it to find yourself? Exactly. Just ask the Hubble to take a picture. From a satellite. That's what I meant. What do you think he fucking met?

What did he, I didn't, I, we've been doing this. This is what I fucking, what do you think I'm an Edwin Hubble the guy? I'm at the 30 fucking years we've been doing this. Yes, it was dumb dumb. I'm at the 30 fucking years we've been doing this years ago. Dumb dumb. Like listen, can't we just talk? We are talking. This is the way we talk, fuck.

This is how we talk in front. Who do you think started all this horse shit? We just mean assholes. Yeah. What do you want to be friends now? You can't, it's not going to happen. I'm bummed that you're my best friend. I'm so sad that you guys, I mean, we've been friends for 30 years.

Yeah, I guess so, close to it. It's weird too, because I was thinking about, because this is amazing. This is truly fucking nuts that the skanks and Lewis and everybody involved have put this together. But we've kind of went through this before with Opie and Anthony, right? Yes, and that ended well. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Well, you fucking losers couldn't get along. I know. You'd be the star of the show, asshole. It happens. I was gonna put up with that lunatic for a couple more years.

Yeah, the virus tour. We were doing 10,000 people at some of those events. But the difference between the virus tour and these fans, these people look like they're gonna fucking stab you and take your money and then come on your chest. But there you guys, I mean I'm not saying this to kiss your ass. You guys are fucking so nice. And you get comedy. It's almost the Vite, the ONA fans, I love them, but they were fucking mean.

Oh, some of them worry y'all. Some of them, dude. We use a very salty disposition. I think, I think. You're trying to get on another serious XM, the USA Network, what are you trying to get on? Why are you trying to be clean? Because I don't like to use profanity, I think it's a crutch and I don't think we need

it to have a good time. Oh, these are nice people, you're just telling them a great comedy audience that they are on, then to come on, Jim, get these idiots engaged, they can't. Yeah, thank you. Fucking, you know what, what Jim you have no profile. I know that neither do you in the business No, I know your neck looks like an elephant's leg You left your shell at home? I also think that we don't need to drag each other down in order to have a good time with these people.

I don't like nice gym. Nice gym is making me sick. It's so funny too. We were starting the show. I'm sorry, we're late. But these two fucking old coutots, I got a pee. They had to go pee together. Yeah.

Who the fuck doesn't pee before the show? I did. And I had to urinate again. It's a part of getting older. I'm just feeling lucky to be alive and around these great people. I can't get it. Give yourselves a round of applause. I can't get it.

Give yourself a hug. The same crowd that laughed at Paulie's short. Go fuck you. The same crowd that laughed at Paulie Shore. Go fuck yourselves. I fuck you, too. But no. What was he here? When we did the virus tour, big difference. I mean, we used to go out.

And they, I mean, we used to panic backstage. It was, it was mysterious. Fuck, I had to walk out there cold. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was But the time I got in there they were so fucking blasted. It was it was insane. I mean a lot of people bombed Yeah, and bombing in front of 12,000 people it hurts Everybody many of the people in those crowds were drunk on spirits I hope you get HIV. You and me both, Bob. Again, wipe out my monkeypox.

I don't think a lot of them didn't bomb. Maybe out of all those shows, and we do it like ten on everyone. Maybe two people, maybe, okay, but Bentley as bomb was so big, it counts as four people. But I forgot about that, that was a bad one. That was at the Garden State Arts Center in New Jersey. It wasn't even his fault. They were doing a car raffle in the back.

It wasn't Mike's fault. Well, no, he, first of all, in August in Jersey, you don't walk out with a hoodie on, and like he's having a bad set. He goes, oh, what do you want it to be like a boss and do crowd work? So then he walks out to the audience to try to do crowd work. It was unwatchable. I don't remember that. I remember it. He was having a hard set. Then he went into the crowd, he had to get off, it was a big stage, like a rock and roll stage,

had to get off and he had to sweater on, and then he started sweating because it wasn't working. And he was bombing in the middle of the fucking crowd. And he was like, what about you? And the guy was just like, what about me, fuckface? It was bad. Crowd work, you gotta do it well if you're going to do it. It's not eat, I happen to be very good at it.

You're going to do it well if you're going to do it. No shit. Yeah, well, I'm just saying, some don't know that. I'll give a quick example of, I'm going to have fun with someone in the crowd and they're going to go crazy. Okay, great. You in the flower shirt, what's your name? Cap, you look like you're a private detective on some sort of an exotic island.

Yeah, that went into a depression and ate himself. Now he doesn't fit in the helicopter. You're right. I wasn't going to go in that direction. And then there's bad crowd work, Kevin. What do you do for a living? Make T-shirts. Oh, pretty cool.

I don't know what's bad about that. I do think it is pretty cool that he makes T-shirts. This is a new cow. Slow down with your eyes. Please. What are you doing, Morse? Oh, fuck. He's talking to Andy off this podcast.

Any, any trannies in the crowd. I'm, I'm staying at the circus. Room five, 22. I hope you can't stop doing it now. I hope that you do it and all of a sudden you're like, God, it does feel good to do that Would you hope yeah? Me and boss play that game yeah, I

Fuck you your nerds me and boss cocksucker fucking little nerd. I went to school Me and boss right anytime we hang up the phone, we play. I hope I hope you I hope I dear hit your car and you get raped by his family I hope I hope to dear hit your car you fly through the window all you close get ripped off into a kid's bedroom fall into his cock. I am and the parents come in and arrest you for pedophilia. I hope when you get home the golden state warriors are mounting your wife and all you hear is who's next. I hope that too. That's how it sounds hot. I'd love to watch my wife get fucked by warriors. I'd love to watch my wife get fucked by warriors. Right now she's getting fucked by a gatherer. Oh, this is fun. I want to do one of those.

Oh, go ahead. Try it. Go ahead. I hope when you're on your way home that you're expecting an upgrade and it doesn't come. You guys, you don't know what you fucking doing, because this is how Chip started, and you're gonna make another character. Now you get another dumb shirt, another dumb podcast, and fucking stupid's gonna want it for the mental institution,

because you don't know who the fuck he is anymore. Stop it, I love Jim. I'm losing Jim because you cock suckers. I'm having a good time with this crowd. This is not all about F-this and dirty talk. We can have a good time and just have a conversation. Could you please step out in the sun for an hour today? Just do something, you pale fucking crayon.

I know. Look at you little fingers. Mashed potatoes with no backbone. What's it like? Go ahead, continue having fun at my expense. If that's what makes you happy, I hate you. I'm trying to look at you. I'm like, new gym.

New gym makes me sick to my stomach. Well, that's good news. That ought to be a month. Yeah, he always comes back with a nice fat zinger. He can't get that out of you. Oh, I almost slid right off you. Yeah. No, but you ever scared, this is the fucked up part.

You had to close all that shit. And I didn't close all of them. I closed, the show I had to close was I had in Philly when Bill bombed. Oh, you did? I followed Bill on that set and had to close that show. Yeah, Bill was next to last and I was last. But it was okay.

It went well because they were just happy that it wasn't Bill. No. Bill didn't bombed. Bill killed the other guy. Dom had a tough time and build stuck They were booing Bill and then Bill turned it around of course, but I'm saying he was having a tough set And then are you explaining it? I don't know I was there. I was I was looking through a curtain at it happened

Yeah, I said up a hole But that's and then they started to do it to him in Cleveland because they I think they loved him by that point They because he did turn around and they like fuck this will be great to get him a shit on Cleveland like this And he was melted down that was he did melt down. I shared a dresser More than when it was fucking destroyed when I went back to it. Yeah, but no what I thought my rarer bomb Well, Jimmy Schubert bombed on that shit. Well Jimmy was early, Tom was in the second half. And Tom, who probably in the 80s, early 90s was one of the best comics on the planet. But and he was from Philly, and this, the show wasn't Philly.

And if you weren't like a ONA regular, it was like a white guy walking out at the Apollo. You had like 13 seconds to be funny. And they just didn't buy Don. And Billy got so fucking mad. Don't you know who the fuck that is? And it just skyrocketed. And it turned Billy's career around.

And look where he is and look where we are. Yeah. Bill from the same crowd. Well, all right. Well, that's all right. Hey guys, they're not all winners. I was here, no, no, no, I didn't want to interrupt. I don't like to, as they say, interrupt the funny. I just wanted to say that, stop holding the mic like it's a cock.

It would check that way on the mic. It wouldn't be that far from his face. That's how you hold the money. I don't know how you think I spend my money, Bob. Sorry, you're right. When you first started, you did only a first and brought him in. No, no, no. I brought no dice, but I brought Patrice and dice brought Norton in. But I did own a first, they came to Caroline's to see me, right?

It was like an audition, then I went in, Norton went in with Dice, I bought Patreason, and then Norton really knows how to, you know, grab on to people's co-tails and sucked his way up to third Mike. Yes. And he was great at it. He was so good at it. Don't try to end that with a compliment. Let me finish.

That's what Vos does. If he has a bomb, he goes, no, you look great. Which you'll never hear from me. No, you do. I like how bad. Shut up. It's time being amazing. I don't think your fingers look like King Charles's.

He's an England. Deem it, hands. OK. OK. Yeah, your ring's really fucking make me sick to my stomach. Yeah. Is that in case Bonnie dumps you, you'll have money to get somewhere and have a place to live?

Let me explain to you how much money I have. Explain it to me. Yeah. A lot. You don't have. Explain to me. Yeah. A lot. You don't have enough for this finger though, do you? I don't just got stuck in Bonnie's pussy. Oh, so that's where your other watch is too.

And one of Jay's gloves. Boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss. I remember when you started going into ONA, but you were like, dude, I'm going to get you in, I'm going to get in. It wasn't like a thing. You just bring somebody in. And then they got canceled. We were in Cleveland. Yeah, remember we did that Cleveland Browns We did a show again with LL cool J

It was for the Cleveland Browns. It was me and Bobby and LL was the headliner And it was in front of the team at their practice facility. Yeah Well, was that during when we went to Cleveland or before? No, that's why I said me and Bobby That's why yes Let me tell Bobby. That's why I asked. Let me tell you what a good friend Nornis. And we were there. Nornis, really, we were all taping the TV show.

Louis Anderson had a TV show on Comedy Central and we taped down in Santa Monica. It was on NBC. No, it was on Comedy Central. It was on Comedy. Or whatever. So Louis Anderson, how is he fighting? Actually, you might be right. I don't know. I don't comedy. Or whatever. So Louis Anderson, how is it inviting? Actually, you might be right.

I don't know. I don't know. Louis Anderson. So we were there, me, him, Florence Tina bunch of us. So, Norton and Florence Tina taped the night before me and we all went down to support them. The next night I was taping, I'm going, where's Norton and Florence Tina?

Well, Dice called him to go furniture shopping, to go look for a sofa, and they blew me off to hang with Dice and walk around. It's a great career move. Yes. What are you doing? Are you teaching the audience how to move forward in life? Blow off loss to hang out with Dice.

Yeah, I would do that again in a second. When I was best bandit, you're wedding. If he had called me, you would have been standing there alone. You were best bandit in my wedding because I got to the end. Okay, let's move on. But when you, we got the call in the car because they did sex for Sam Yeah, and they got canceled. I remember how fucking panic to you were yeah Freakin out because you just got the gig. Yeah, I had moved into you. I was gonna jump out the window I was so depressed

Wait, but you will before the day for me. I don't want the little fucking. Yeah, because all your fingers bend at the same, yeah. How are they all the same size? They're supposed to be different sizes. Yeah. And they don't bend. They all move in unison. It's like one little unit. Before, before, before, before,

I come down, they're scaring me. Yeah. Before sex, for Sam, you guys went to jail because you were on some fire bus or something and you go to jail for that before sex for Sam. You and Louis Black. Yes, I did spend the night in jail but I think everyone knows that story. And it's three people. I know.

But I mean, I have two more than no Norton. Go ahead. Oh, yeah. Well, you want to lose the audience, guys? Keep attacking people that are having a good time. It's so funny how you can manipulate a crowd. That's what everyone does. That's what comedy is. We're manipulating, they're manipulating us.

It's almost like we're playing catch with each other. That's what it is. I throw it out. They throw the ball back with a laugh. What's wrong with that? You're wasting your time trying to explain comedy to Bobby. Well, I don't know. Killbox might feel a little bit... I'm just plugging Bobby special. Yeah, my Bob's. If you cock suckers don't buy it, fuck off. Don't ask for a picture. That's not the way to do it. Sorry, hang on, stop, stop.

I hope you guys enjoy it. If you can afford it, please don't do it. So thank you for maybe, it's OK. I understand times it tough right now. Yeah, so thank you for just considering it. Don't scold the audience. Hey, if you don't buy it, you're dead to me. You encourage them. I've got some funny bits. I love you guys to enjoy it when you get home.

Enjoy it. Thank you so much for your, for the way you guys are. For being here. That's what matters to me. Thank you. Thank you. I'm honored. Yeah, do that, you fucking actor thing that they all do with the hands. But I remember when you brought me here. What do ¿Sí, sí, es una acta que se lo hacen con las manos. ¿Pero me lo rompí? ¿Qué haces? ¡Fuck it! ¡Boo! ¡Fuck it, boo! para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitan lo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caishabank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud.

Las últimas tendencias en botas, comodidad 10 de los desde 29 con 99. Daishman, mucho por andar. Hey, guys, I want you to check out guide times presents. It is a look if you love funny if you love real comedy If you love like ONA old ONA you love my podcast. You're gonna love this. They have so many podcasts hilarious things They have game podcasts. It's just a funny fun Place to go if you enjoy podcasts that make you laugh

and you have a good time. So make sure you check them out. Guy time presents. Guy time presents. It's wordy, but you'll go there. What's your biggest challenge? Blood work? Yeah, turtle necks. Yeah, turtle necks. Chin ups. My biggest challenge is Jujitsu. No, no, it's patiently waiting until you two run out of steam quickly. Bobby looks like an out-of-work monk. Wow. Put your hood on. I didn't think I was gonna work. I really thought that was gonna pop. I didn't

either and the crowd just decided to go with it. Yeah. Now hang yourself. You look like a fat flamingo kid. That was for the older crowd. First of all, I hate your shirt. I honestly didn't want to mention it, but I also hate it. It's really... The difference is, I hate both of you. I can wear a new shirt. No, you can't wear that shirt. It doesn't fit.

No, it doesn't fit. You're no longer in a meeting. Don't suck it in. Stand up. Let it out. Let it out. Just let it out. Oh my God.

Listen, I can't help it if I, you look at how he dresses. And you're going to come after my shirt. Yes. Yes. Yeah, he dresses like he's backstage at a one-man show. Like one. You're on in three. I dress. You dress like a dike.

Shut up. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Oh, come on, Dave. Yeah. Dave. Wait. Dave is a mic on. Turn Dave's mic on.

Hold on. Dave. Where's Dave's mic on? I just wanted to say one thing. I was observing this incredible gathering like this. Thank you, Dave. And it looks like Vladimir Putin met Vladimir Gluten in a... Hang on, let's find Mike.

That's all I wanted to say. Dave, are you in Jeff DeW doing bumping kikes here this week? God damn it. News travels fast this side of the Vegas. I was down the street on the corner of Hepin C, and I was up. Here we are, guys. Vegas. We're trying to keep it clean for this audience.

I apologize because I'm dressed for Reno. But um, did you like to have a meal, my friend? Did you have fun with the other set? You did the other set. Did you have a good time? Yeah, I had a good time. And you know, it's good to see a crowd sitting down. I didn't know like there were a lot to do that here, you know? Yeah. It's nice. It's nice.

Everybody's standing. I'm like, who runs? Is this the Taliban? I mean, really? Go ahead, guys. Dave, we were talking about OP and Anthony Days. Yes. Did you ever do the virus show?

Oh, of course I did. You did it? Did you like it? I was there like multiple times when Patrice was on. Yeah. And, boss. And like, all you guys, like, I just Patrice was on, and Boss, and all you guys, like I just saw you guys explode into great on the mic.

You just guys got better and better and better. Yeah, I thought Patrice was a little overrated. Really? I mean, I don't know. Boss is kidding, and yet. Yeah. I don't think they do a documentary about me. Yeah, you don't think he said that.

You don't think he said it to Bonnie on the way back to Jersey City's panel. Of course. No, I said it about you and him. No, I don't. Do you understand we're dying to do a documentary about you? I can't wait until the like, would you like to be interviewed

in the boss documentary? Yes, I would. Because you know what it means that you've died. Yeah. The documentary just ends on your teeth and a bunch of hats you have. And some rings. You think Bonnie's gonna sell those when you die? She's gonna keep them. She's gonna throw everything out. All my sneakers, my hats, my golf clubs. She told me, even my stamp collection. They should make a movie about you with Nichols about shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate that. You know? This looks like the easing of a magician. You know, like this crowd can't say. You look like a magician. You dress. You dress like a magician. No, it looks like a street magician.

You can't do a slight of hand, because your hands are too small. Yeah. You can always see the dime behind your hand. The only trick you can do is to make the laughter disappear. Thanks. LAUGHTER CHEERING Jem, Jem, Jem, Jem, Jem, Jem, Jem.

Jem, Jem, Jem. But... CHEERING How was the flight out, fellas? Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, We got a migrant bus coming back, and you know what? When I was talking about what we were doing this for a long time. We did. This type of thing, and I'm glad it's still fucking around. Yes. Because, I mean, you did that. We've been around for a long time. We're the old guys at this festival.

I'm so old. Yeah. I'm incredibly old. I mean, we are the oldest guys here. Is that why you backstage before we came out, Bobby said, let's remind these kids that the old lions can still roar. Well, first of all, hey, hey, you know what I say? I say, my diapers half empty, not half full.

I'm just getting started. Thank you. Thank you. You'll smell it now Yeah, Dave how long you've been doing stand-up now 32 35 years. I think you five 35 years yes I think 35 years. Yes. Sometimes that home I stand on the pile of the world. She can't say anymore. And have you ever had somebody come up to you with one of your old jokes?

You're like, what kind of heat speech is that? Oh, fuck, I said that. Holy shit. Boss, how about you? How long? 38 years. Holy shit. Well, really?

Yeah, I got, well, I'm sober 36 and I did it for two or three years on crack, so. Yeah, for 38. He came to Boston, next comedy stop in Boston, nobody knew who he was. He showed up with a tank top and a ponytail ponytail and the back of his tank top was wet from the ponytail and he had his old teeth and he said, who do I talk to about getting up? I was book, I fucking kill, that's where I had my bottom on free base up in Boston. No shit. Yeah, I was working plums, I met a waitress. I had like 500 bucks back then, you know, and we, I go, where can we get Coke?

She goes, I don't know, and I go, I do, and I drove from, I drove from, from, from Worcester to New York. It's a fucking three and a half hour drive. And we, I bought three or four hundred dollars worth of Coke. We had section a hotel all night, and then it was Sunday, and I had a driver back to do one more night at Nix. I was fucking a half an hour from my house, no money, and there's fucking girl in the car, and I nose bleeding, and I went back to board, and then I went to rehab a week later.

Yeah, dude, that almost sounds like addictive behavior. LAUGHTER Why, there were no cocks involved. Why? I'd love to hear her version of the story. It's probably like I drove to New York. I had sex with a lawn gnome. Why did you have to drive so far for Coke? Didn't they have a 7-Eleven back then or no? Yeah, they paid you at next income. Why did you drive back to New York? I wish I knew that there. Well, don't worry. This is New Vegas.

There's no powder to be had here in this town. Here's all about working out and all that kind of stuff going to a day spot. Are you going to hit the spot tomorrow? Don't worry, Dave. They don't all work. They don't. I worked out today, that's what we do. Bobby worked out today.

Don't be serious, no one cares. I hate. Dave is kidding and voss is like, well you know, but I really did go down and do a little elliptical. Oh yeah. I wish you would have dropped that on it, nobody's here. Well I didn't want to bring up the wet ponytail, but,

but, typhers. So, let's call the raffle numbers and get the fuck out of here. But when you did the OP& Anthony thing, do you, not, you get away, will you move your fucking melon?

You're asking me a question. I'm not, I'm asking Dave a question. I'm not asking Dave a question. Go that way, you fucking alien head. Will you nervous at all? Cause I eat, will you? I was nervous. Will you nervous? Cause I remember me and Patrice used to shit our pants.

Really? I think you guys were like, where it's so comfortable that we were fucking petrified. Really? Yeah, because it was, they were screaming and yeah, I remember one time I was doing the show and there was a guy just sitting in the front row going, fuck your mother, fuck your mother. It was your stepfather.

Oh, you mean the live shows? No, I don't know if I ever did them. I just went in and did the radio. You talking about the actual live show? The game's in my red corner. Oh, no, no. That was like, yeah, that was a fucking knife fight all the way through, right?

Yeah, it was bad. That was almost like, that was almost like, do you hate comedy? Come down and see. Ha ha ha. Did you, but did you bring that to Opie and Anthony? Did they have, because we had it at the table, we would be at the comedy cell table doing that type of shit.

Bust in each other's balls, talking serious. And then did you bring that to Open Anthony by bringing it all of us on what they have that before you? I mean, I guess, I mean, I don't know. I mean, Anthony would say I was a part of that. And I'll be with you if I say I wasn't. So I guess it's for the listeners to decide what it was like before and after.

But I think that that just was natural to bring comics on and fuck with each other That's just what we did and acknowledging bombs. I used to be so scared going on all be anti-doh I would pick I would pick my outfit make sure it was because you go on there any little thing that was wrong It was a 45 minutes to two hour just smashing and it was so bad sometimes I heard like inside like my feelings like like I would be sitting there like ha ha ha try not to cry we we would bring in our old video tapes of like our early performances and let me tell you something two hours of beat down for every it was I brought the one where Patrice never brought his because he was scheduled but then we got canceled so

he we actually never did Patrice's all which is a shame because he was convinced that he was good we should get it and do it I don't know which one he had yeah yeah I would love to see him I remember him going I remember him and bought he used to be a door guy at the comedy connection. Yep. And I remember when he first went up and started doing comedy. He had the, what was the sub joke? He had a food, like some fucking sub joke.

And he liked little titties because it was like smoking a joint. Yeah, the Malcolm XXL joke. Malcolm XXL, I remember very well. We finally bludgeoned him out of doing that joke. You guys made fun of me so much. I stopped fucking the stool. Yeah, Bob would hump the stool sometimes. And this is before me too.

But depending on the stool, a lot of the stool were complaining. I remember I brought my tape in. It was at Nick's comedy stop. And I used to, it was so bad. I used to go, oh, remember after the joke, I'd be like, you like that? So, I mean after all the jokes, I'd be like, boom, bang, scull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull-lull After mine was watched I remember it was I think it was boss. It was you Maccurio Colin and One other person I don't remember who that kid Mike T. Nicola and I remember after was Collins He said I can't even look at him

That was like well, it was really bad. Well, you did that thing that military thing. Dave are you walking that way? No, he lost money. Hey, he's old. He dropped his wallet. That's right. Money found, ladies and gentlemen. So wait a minute, you were doing that tongue thing, and then the planes hit the towers. What happened? What happened?

What was before that? We all had to stop those bits for a couple of weeks. I remember that. It was tough. It was tough to go like a whomever, closers, clothes like beds. I remember yours was a treacherous too. I did. I think mine was from Ranskles comedy. I was wearing those parachute pants. I had a fucking long ponytail and it was fucking... I was doing that stuff last week, that material.

It was so bad. And I have all my old tapes from when I fucking started. They're not on tape, they're on like a millimeter. Yeah, the subpooter films. You can hear it go t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t on my show, I fucking see, come the fuck on, let's hang out, because my friends won't do my show, they won't do what KWD. But I like the new guys, you're addicted new guys. No, first thing you said, I'm not addicted new guys, I just test new guys and the other thing.

Who's a fucking you? I know, you know, I'm a false bitch. Uh, there you go. Yeah. All right, I'm not saying're, I'm not saying nice. I'm not saying nice. You're the way that I think. Do you, do you tip your middle ax on the road?

I know me getting her car. Do you tip her money? I do. I say, I say you need to get better, right? Good jokes. You're the only comedian that my parents met every auto. All my friends, Patrice, the only fucking one they did not like the first time they met him was you,

the only one. My parents are so easy and they're like, he wasn't very nice. You're not a good person. This is the first thing he said to me, hey, where are you from? I'm from Boston. I'm in front of everybody at the Boston Comedy Club.

Cool, how long you been doing comedy? I was like around six years, he goes, get me a coffee, cream and two sugars. Wow. What a cunt. Yeah, but you got the coffee. No, I did not. Me and Bob was fought one time. We were in the comedy cellar and I was smoking and I don't know what happened. He picked up my box of cigarettes and threw them across the room and I fucking eye and I took a whole plate of buffalo wings.

No, he took the table, he flipped the table. He went, fucking digits. And the wings went all over me. And he wasn't mad about the stain on the shirt. He was mad that he couldn't eat those wings here. I was mad, the wings are good at the salad. We stood up and then we go, what are we doing? And we stood up and we were like,

what the fuck are we doing? We're like, we're gonna roll around and fucking wing sauce at the salad. I remember one time, we were doing a gig. We had to find a gas station and it was closed and finally we found another one. What? Swapping jokes in the car.

I fucked me. Me, norin and Florentine used to go through these boots where you would pay ten bucks and a girl would watch you fucking spank it and I got kicked out because I was trying to talk her down to five. I remember the first time. That's not why you got kicked out. You got kicked out because you had a spatula and you were trying to eat off the floor. Oh, a spatula. Yeah, he knows the technique.

I mean, how else would you get come off a floor? You can lick it like a fucking lullipop until it comes off. No, it's dirty that way. I, uh, I remember the first time in New York City with the peep shows Dave your on deck it was me it was me Billy Burr Patrice Bob Marley Dane Yes, and we drove all the way to New York we went to the salad we went all the clubs We're just walking around like idiots and then we went to the peep shows Yes, the ones where they had the little window you could stick your head in and it was like a genie's lamp Yes, they had these chicks in there. I mean, one tin, he was bigger than the other.

They had like a fucking belly button, hernia. Yes. A breastfeeding. Yeah, they had like c-section scars. But your head was in the room. And I remember just all of our heads popped in. We were like, what the fuck is this? And then Patrice ran out of money.

So I was sitting in my door open. And he fucking, he move over over and he mushed himself into this And he was like, yo Bobby get that black chick with the C section tell her to come over here I'm like, what the fuck? He's like shut the fuck up. Just get that bitch over here And he goes give us some money. I had to give her money and then it was just my head and a black hand came out I just got it squeezed in a titty Black hand came out and just got it squeezed in the titty. I know exactly what you're talking about, chill world on 43rd and 8th and 8th.

Yeah, he's having it. That was the first place I ever saw a cripple fight and that was a guy in a wheelchair being beaten with a crutch by another guy. Fucking crazy. They opened a comedy club up there. They did? It's the Laugh Act. In show world, yeah.

Yeah. Should I tell him this? Terrible. Should I tell him the Central Park story? I mean, we've told her. How about another story? Like, there was a time I was with Voss and he goes, I'm having a hard time with this bit. We sat down, we hasted out.

You got your notebooks out, right? And I hasted out, I said, yeah. And I came up with Arm Dodge in her. That's right. You guys really have lived the life. Yeah. I swap it out for a mic. That one was removing the humor, more about your world. I wish they would have swapped out for a mic. That one was removing the humor more about your world. I

Wish they would have swapped out with a garbage have faith. This is a good crowd This is beyond good look at this crowd standing room only. Yeah, holy shit You think you think this would happen at the People's Choice Awards probably not have of them would run I've been at the People's Choice Awards, probably not. Half of them would run. I face it, we're at that point of the night now. You know, I'm talking about Vegas. Where's that port in our career now?

Vegas is calling right now. What are you thinking? Nothing, Ari just texted me. Yes. Wow, you got all the big ones. Maybe we should turn in early and be the first guys at the buffet tomorrow. What do you think?

It is weird though, because I get tired around, fuck, I love it 30. I like to see what melon is to be had if you know what I mean. I think the first gig you and I did together was poor billies. Was Vinnie Brand booked that? It was a Jersey Sunday night sports bar. Should have been called poor audience. And I bet you we crushed it, didn't we? is a Jersey Sunday night sports bar. Should have been called poor audience. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha can't go all the way but he couldn't leave LA because the riots, the LA riots after the Rodney King beating and he couldn't leave so I wanted to do that with as I'm telling this story I'm realizing I am not even interested in the end of it.

So how could I actually hypnotize me I was just staring at you no neck. But I did kind of catch myself and write the ship. But last night we had a late night bull session. How fun was that? There were a couple of towns that were terrifying. Like Boston was one of them because everybody up there was like a power headliner. Philly was another one where like people that was like, wow, you're going to Philly just leave your fucking rings and wallet because you're not going to make it. They were so tough. It's not me who better now. Yeah, they're way better now. They're way better everywhere now,

but I was just saying back then, it was like one of those like fucking, you don't know what's gonna happen. It's really like the audience really did not want to hear comedy. F**k it. Boston was tough. Boston had so many funny guys.

I remember I saw Colin Quinn fucking walk 500 people twice. No way. I mean, because they would put headliners up. And people didn't even know that to me too. They would put headliners up and go, okay, big boy, you're gonna make all the money coming from New York, follow this shit,

then just smash in front of those people. And then I remember people walking out on call. They, my friend had a walk calling through the kitchen because they were gonna fucking murder them. Yes. Joya Nettie. Yeah. Joe and Eddie. Yeah. In Buffalo.

In Buffalo, the audience chased Colin down the street. Did they really? Yeah. Get that fucking cocksucker on the phone. In Buffalo, that's a compliment. Yeah. I saw Colin one night in the cellar. A guy in the back is yelling at him and Colin had such a comeback, man.

Good, I hope this is him forever now. Me too, it's calming, it's nice. Sir, look, you just walked this guy. That's my life. You just walked a fucking Vegas local just now. Yeah, it's weird to run in a caddy from Saudi Arabia, but, um. Remember that gig we did up in SUNY Del Haay?

Oh, God. That was one, it was a college gig, the worst. And we all did it because the guy Marty was a great guy, but it was a fucking Hell gig. Hell gig. And I went up, I actually did great twice, had me go up with you, and I thought I was gonna kill. And I went up before Norton, and I ate my dick so bad yeah I remember that it was because it was

it was a mostly black audience mostly I said something about the girl's hair and I didn't know you were a fuckers I told you in the car on the way don't make any comments about that it's not what you did on the way back I was going to I was so sad that I bombed. He killed by the way, which I don't know how the fuck because I embraced the audience and the cultural differences. I shown a light on it and I applauded it and I think everybody appreciated that. What are you talking about? You fucking... I opened up and I, there's a black guy

and I put my hand next to his. I'm like, look how different they are. I said, let's hug it out. Yeah, you actually went like this. Phone home. Wow. I thought you were gonna get that ET joke. Me and Norton did a,

it was on his flip phone. That's how port is. We did a gig. We went back to the past. Yeah. We did a gig. We did a one-nighter in Connecticut and Norton went on first and killed. TJ McCormick's and it was a big yeah. All I did was fucking I was bombing from the beginning and he was in the back just getting him to hate me more. Just sitting back.

It's there's nothing worse than bombing in front of that asshole. I'll tell you what's worse. Because he's the worst. I was driving home going, please can we stop? I haven't eaten. Can we go? I'm really hungry. And he's like, no, I want to go home.

I want to go home. I want to go home. It's good fucking. And then all of a sudden he's throwing a dope bookstore sign on the other side of the highway. And fucking through the cop lane. And you went in to jerk off in the in the middle of nowhere by the way. You wouldn't get me a fucking hamburger McDonald's, but you I saw where that was going.

I was looking out for you my friends. It sounds like you Jim. He went in to jerk off and then he came out you He was so mad that some guy kept knocking on the door. Why would I get him mad? Matt, true. Where's that couple going? There was another show happening right now. Where you going?

We only have a few minutes left. We only have a couple minutes. Let's wrap this up. No, let's talk about it. We didn't even fuck well. Then get them back. Then go get them back. First of all, I'm kidding.

We talked about ONA, but we didn't even talk about Tough Crowd on how Tough Crowd would be. That's what can I just say this as a guy who was a fan of that show is that when you run into a super comedy fan, and they always bring up Tough Crowd, I know that they're like, ultimate. Like, they know what they're talking about, so. It was Tough Crowd was so influential to comics,

to younger comics now that they all watched tough crowd. Why are you telling them or telling yourself? I mean, you know, it sounds like you're talking to yourself. Okay, I brought a lot of new stuff. You need sugar? That's happening to you right now. If I need you, I brought a lot of new stuff. You need sugar? Wow, what the hell's happened to you right now? If I need you, you sound like you're neck. You sound like a comedian looking at an empty calendar.

You know, they watch Tough Crow, didn't they? Oh, that's a thing. You don't have to shake your head anymore. Guess I do. Do you like Voss? No. LAUGHTER You guys were, but I know this, you guys were all, you guys were all writers on the show

at the beginning and then Colin came into the fucking office and saw you guys just fucking off every day so he fired all of you. No, it was, it was Colin and Ken Oberg and it was Keith Robinson and me and we would actually sleep in the office and Nick DePolo and Geroldo had their office together, and they would actually work. But yeah, he stopped us from writing. We didn't get hired. That's the whole story.

He said he fired you. He didn't fire us. What happened was when the column likes to just jazz things up, I'm gonna have to fire a minute. What happened was when the show got picked up, that was when we were conceptualizing the show, they just kept certain writers. And none of us were right.

They didn't keep Draldo or Nick. We were on air personalities. You were regular, were you regular too? I was a semi-reg. I did it. That's a no. Yeah. I did it 35 times.

I did. How many times have you did it too Dave, right? I did it a couple times. Did you like it? I did it 35 times. How many times have you done it too, Dave, right? Did it a couple of times? Did you like it? I love it. I also thought that if they let them just be free and let them roll like that, and for some reason, Comedy Central always had trouble with like, we don't want to edit anything. And I'm like, you should let these guys just roll and then edit it, and they made it also like set up like, you know, like here's a bit, here's a segment.

They should just let you guys roll because it never captured the talks you guys used to have at the cell or like at the table. And I was like, you know, this is as close as you're going to get, and it's great. But honestly, that would have been like beyond, if you asked me, you know. Yeah, they were, they would get notes like about like rape jokes and like really harsh religious jokes. I mean, yeah, Dave, where do you get your ideas? Well, sometimes, sometimes after a show like tonight I'll just go home, put a tie on the No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. That was, they look great, yeah. What was kind of a spooky lighthouse feel to it, right?

You guys miss, I don't know, maybe you still get it, but I remember back in the day we were at the cellar, do you guys miss all the fucking sex and all the crazy sex shit we used to do? No, I mean, I get old, I'm 54 now. I mean, I jerk it off this weekend, it's funny you should ask that. You don't look at. Thank you, Dave, I feel like I'm a little guilty about it. I

haven't been jerked off, but no, you get older. I mean, I'm looking at your legs, madam. They're very nice. Yeah. I'm looking at your legs as well, madam, and sir, yours are not bad. If I didn't see the rest of you, I'd probably be looking at your... No, not really. I mean, I did it. I'm glad I did it. I got a lot of loads out. We did it. I mean, we did a lot. We had a lot. More than my share.

I mean, all of us. I mean, you guys... I remember you guys... Remember that you and Keith came up one night. You look like you had sex with a girl in front of Stand Up New York. I did? Are you deaf? Yeah. Anything to draw a crowd.

You should have done it at the comics room. My girlfriend was in the car blowing me and I saw Norton walking down the street and I said can he come in and walk? She goes, yeah, and he got in the back seat. You know, that was on West Fourth Street. I was annoyed because I drove in from New Jersey and I jerked off before I left the house. So my dick was like a little twisted root. But I wanted to jerk off again watching and I couldn't come to the house.

She was so fucking hot. She was so hot. How much was gas back then? You were. Trying to make him more relevant to our times. You know, because you're fucking stories. How much how much how much was gas back then? Trying to make him more relevant to our time you know You're the time I brought the girl to your apartment and she ate my ass in your hallway I'm still friends with her. Do you remember what she did? Yeah She I had like jerked off and then she Bobby had his foot up and his sock on my wall, which thank God you didn't do that now.

But you had your foot up and she was eating your ass and she went, pfft, pfft. And she spit out a little piece of paper. I thought it was one of his jokes. I thought that was a Boston big pain by. Yeah, she was like, fantastic. We're gonna wrap this up.

That's a close. You guys are awesome. I fucking love you guys so much. Bobby, thanks for letting me be part of it. Oh, Dave. Jim Norton. Rich Box. Don't get my special killbox.

I'm Robert Kelly. You guys. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desesperan. ¡Friparás! Vuelas desde Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. you