Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Skankfest 2022 Shane Gillis, Dan Soder, Joe List, Luis J Gomez

Episode Date: October 30, 2022

This week The Regs Dan Soder, Joe List, Luis J Gomez along with Shane Gillis join Robert Kelly from Skankfest Vegas 2022! Our listeners can get 30% off mattresses PLUS 2 free pillows, or get 40% off when you bundle a mattress with their award-winning adjustable base. Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for a limited time. Robert Kelly "Kill Box" AVAILABLE NOW at LouisCK.com Patreon.com/RobertKelly to watch Unedited and Ad Free PLUS Watch Episodes LIVE and GET Bonus Episodes https://twitter.com/robertkelly https://twitter.com/YKWDpodcast http://instagram.com/ykwdudepodcast https://www.facebook.com/YkwdPodcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. ¿Dónde nadie pregunta de dónde viene? ¿Sino por qué no te viene? Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvida. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos.

Encuentra los bares de Madrid, la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un humenaje de maú, a Madrid. Sabemos lo importante que es sentirse acompañado. Por eso en Caixa Bank ahora cuentas con un préstamo para hacer realidad tus ilusiones. Solicitas lo desde el móvil o a través de tu gestor. Informa tencaishabank.es. Caixa Bank, tu y yo, nosotros. Siempre que se mantenga las circunstancias económico-financeras del solicitante en el momento de la solicitud.

3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar tu del 3 por uno en medianas al omicidio solo pidiendo el line. ¿Sabes para? 3 por uno, 3 por uno, ah no, no, no, no. I want to thank all the people that supported me and bought my special at LouisCK.com. Killbox. I can't thank you enough. And if you haven't bought it, please go there right now, support the special. Me and Louis did this independently. We didn't ask permission.

We just did it. Louis directed it. He produced it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. He did it. haven't bought it, please go there right now. Support the special me and Louis did this independently. We didn't ask permission. We just did it. Louis directed it. He produced

it. He paid for everything. And I need you to go and support this special. Go buy it. LouisCK.com Robert Kelly's kill box. I hope you enjoy it. Leave a comment and get it and spread the word right now. LouisCK.com. Go get it. Yeah, baby. We're starting the podcast right now. We're back. You know what, dude?

Live. Welcome, everybody. It's the show. YKW. I started the social media podcast. The fact that YKW did podcasts. YKW is back again. Old school back in the day.

We're all starting before them all. YKW is a podcast. I Dance I'm doing it off. For school. We're dead. Dan Soda. Joe Rath-Stake, the truth. That's cool. And the Rath-O-Snake, Lewis Jay Gomez, give it up for him. Walk through that. If he- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, one more time. Give it up for the Rath-Stake, Lewis more time. Give it up for the rathstick, Lewis J Gomez.

Give it up for him. I don't think he's here. I don't think he's here. One more, wait a minute, one more time. Give it up for Lewis J fucking Gomez. Mother, fucking episode, suck it's late. For every fucking episode, it's always fucking late. Who else doesn't respect you, Robert?

You know what, fuck him. Give it up for Shane Gillis, everybody. Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake How you guys doing, you alright? Okay. Alright, let's get the fuck out of here. It's called a tank. Why the fuck is Lewis late? He did it on purpose. He did it on purpose. He likes to make an entrance.

Whoever it is, you'll not put a drink in our son pants. Spend it! I think it's probably going to come through the middle. Because that's what he is a middle Let's take a moment to recognize that many people have aids Yes, and we do not Well And you? Well, I do. You're a Bobby. That's the way. I have a tag.

Oh, dude, that was it the whole time. Bobby had full blown eyes. I got the hippas. Oh my God. And then it's like you and Patrice have conflicting benefits. Yeah. There would be fucking one benefit at the fat black pussycat. And you wouldn't even show up.

Yeah, you wouldn't even show up, damn. Yeah. Stop it, Shane. I can show up. Stop it. Who would do the benefit? Who would organize it? You, you, who probably wouldn't. I would organize it. You would organize it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd organize it. It would be good. Bobby's benefit? Yeah, if I died. Swaras. What do you say, if? Yeah, if I died, yeah, yeah. Got do you say? If I died, yeah, yeah. God sucker, I'm not gonna die.

That would suck if I lost all this weight and I just grabbed my chest. Ha, ha, ha. It's gotta be a pretty serious toll losing weight like that. That's why I'm. I mean, what the fuck, Shay? I mean, yeah.

I mean, yeah. Your body's gotta be, your heart must be like, what the fuck? It's Shayne quit pushing him, we're gonna find him at a buffet at three in the morning. I hate skinny Bobby, dude. Why do you fuck you? Screebobby sucks, dude.

I love him, I love mushy Shane. I had no idea Bobby was five, too. You know, he's a little man. You're six, eight wide. Shane. Shane. Fuck. I had no idea, dude, we were standing back there, You're six, eight wide. Shit. Shit. And no idea, dude, we were standing back there,

I was like, holy shit, you're small as fuck, dude. He's been so tough all these years because he's spent 350 pounds. Yeah, dude, there's all about leverage for all that time. You're gonna fuck you up. I think I think it's smaller. I think, you know what, you know what, sad is the back of my head and my son. That did not get smaller. You think it's smaller. I think, you know what, sad is the back of my head and my side.

That did not get smaller. You think it's still fat? But you got the back of the neck still holding a lot of weight. What the fuck are you? It does, lists. Throw those shorts out. Oh my god, that was weird. Just a big white guy with fucking stripe shorts.

What are you French? Why are you wearing those? You Polish? You're Polish? You got good Egg McMuffins, the little the McMuffins, the Polish, no, you like those? You don't like those? Fuck you. Oh shit. Oh shit. Ladies and gentlemen, I think it happened. I think it, I think he's here lady ladies and gentlemen We watch We watch We watch it we watch it we watch it we watch the worst

The worst entrance I can possibly have You fat you're still fat. I don't care that you're skinny, you're still fat, you fat fucking piece of shit. Why would you set me up for failure at my own festival? Because you're late, you're so don't have me come then, cunt. Whoa. Say hey, tell these fucking idiots to stop chasing me down

and not stopping from eating tacos to be booed as people want Shane more than Babe, they were saying Lou not boo you It was your name they were We want Jay Fuck a Looosh, Jay! Get up! What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What is it? Shane's day.

What? Hi, all's day. Just gonna just get another chair. No. Shane, this guy just poked me in the back with a chair and it would be so angry. I'm on edge right now. Come talk to the seat. Come talk it out, Looosh.

That's fucking fat, fat, fat, big J's gonna shove a gun into my asshole on Sunday. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I mean, it's the fucking reception that I get. What is he doing? We want Shane. I want Shane to choke on a cock. Just...

Why? I'm sorry, Shane. It's fine. He has been trying to be my friend this whole time. I'm trying so hard to be your friend, dude. Nothing but niceness coming towards you. What are you doing right now? I'm sorry, I'm be your friend, dude. Nothing but niceness coming towards you. What are you doing right now? I'm sorry I'm pulling my fucking thing out.

Oh. Why do you get a yellow pass and I get a fucking black pass? It's a golden ticket that I have to give to the whore that sucked gay blind Mike's dick. Whoa! What? Whoa! And it was, I don't want to bend it in my pocket.

It's kind of special. Is she here? Yeah, she... All right, come on up. Is she blue? Yeah, she. All right, come on up. She's here. Come on up. Come on up. Hey, I'll give you a blue among the table.

Hey, we'll give you a black among the pictures. If you blow all of us right now. Hold on. Wait, let's see what she looks like. Then she looks like what we all think Kelly Fisuga looks like now. Is that her right there, Lewis? Where is she? Aucular confirmation. I don't know. I don't know what she looks like now. Is that right there Louis? Where is she? Aucular confirmation. I don't know what she looks like. Is she hot? Yeah definitely. Yeah. That's a blue blind guy. It's gangfest. Yeah definitely. Hey, did you suck dick?

You really blew somebody? To completion? wait no he couldn't even get hard Damn it up that is your your off your golden ticket That's that's graveyard nurse energy yeah Just like I changed a bit now she's just a dolphin's band. Give me your other pants. She's not even a nurse, dude. She just loves the fans. She's just a teal, dude.

She lives in Sedona. Does the golden ticket work at the pants store? Do she live in Sedona? Do she live in Sedona? Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. I really appreciate you guys. It feels nice. Lewis is still fired up. Lewis, were you serious about like we could have canceled you off of this?

I would, I would, I could be eating a steak and oscar is right now but I'm fucking here with you people. Thank you buddy. Yeah. Thank you. I love wow They booed me and said they want shade No, I don't look at you These cock suckstock is turning quick, man. They don't get it.

No hearts are spying on you. You're still going to change about the go full, howdy-duty on you. Guys, please, please, please. It's about him, dude. It's not about me. It's about him, dude. Doggy, I mean, how progressive is Skankfest's guy? And we have literally one black person here this year. Have a road ahead.

Oh, yeah. Woo! Blacks! Blacks! Blacks! Go, go, go, go, go! Yeah, it got, it happened. No, blacks is good.

I'm saying blacks. Black. But it's not plural. It's singular. Black, black, black. Black, black, black. And brown. He's a brown.

Ah, he's just tan. No, he's just tan. Now he's something, what are you? No, look at, you've been a lot of people having to eat. He's called America. Hell yeah dude, fucking socialist trying to have a fight. Dude, am I crazy? Are there teeth that white or is it just because they're the only brown people here that it seems that way?

They have beautiful smiles, both of you guys. I love you, doggy. You're the fucka man, dude. Yeah, I will say there's so many white dudes that are like fat and bearded up that I'm like, are they Puerto Rican dudes? Or are they just fat trash? There's a lot of fat trash.

There's more hot chicks than we've ever had before here. Oh yeah, I saw her. Not in this room in the other showroom. And Big J show right now, there's some hot shit. Yeah, this room taps out at like a six and a half. Look at them all mad now. If the average person here is a six and a half, they're all in the back because the front is a lot of twos and threes. Best case scenario. Now, one of the stages of just hunks. Yeah. That's right. Much of hunks. Yeah, why would you this year girlfriend dude? Why would

you bring sand to the beach? What's wrong with you dude? Oh, this is this oh he's the blind guy. Yeah, it's blind Mike. Oh, he can't see. That's the real blind Mike dude. Is that the legit blind Mike dude? Oh, you really can't see I thought I was mad at you Dude, you're staring at me. There was a split second where Lewis thought he had a problem with a guy I did I was like I Fuck you know, he was looking at me on the cross side. I was like why are you looking at me like that dude?

Why are you looking for me like I'm a magic eyes? How hard is it to get back to the hotel room That's a guy This girlfriend just put a wig on a fat guy. Oh, sorry. Sorry I'm sorry. Bobby was fucking lying here at Skankfest. Bobby was only 80 pounds in a week and now he's calling people fat dude. You got damn right. You fat motherfucker.

Get your shit together, Tubby. Dude, I want to see the new Bob as fucking fitness Bob. He's just fucking trash. Is everybody for their fitness? I'm a fucking trash everybody. I feel fantastic. I can't wait till I'm skin fitness Bob. He's just fucking trashes everybody for their fitness. I'm a fucking trash everybody. I feel fantastic. I can't wait till I'm skinnier than you.

You'll never be skinnier than me. Dude, I'm almost there now. No, Bobby, no you're not. Yeah, Bobby, you're not. You're not, dude. I'm happy for you. I think you're doing great for real. Don't get fucking real.

No, I'm not. I'm real, no you're I think you're doing great. For real. Don't get fucking real. No, I'm not. For real, no you're not. Bobby's not lying, we don't want to say it. You are a little bit weeble wobbly. You're a Bobby here, you're built like my aunt. You what? Aunt.

We heard you. Aunt. Aunt. No, it's aunt. Aunt. Yeah, you're built like, you look like a peach grimace. LAUGHTER like a peach grimace. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I saw Joe like shit your face Well, it's good to see you mother fuckers ever seen you in a while. What's up with the beard? Yeah, I'm hiding. I got fat

I wish I knew that fucking last year. I wouldn't have got the surgery. I could just grow beard dude I love this. I'm so excited for Sharpe Bobby stage That hurt that fucking oh fuck that. Oh, why? That made me feel bad. We'll do it far. You take it too far. Fuck both of you. Yeah, fuck you. You tell me to do the bobby.

There's no line it's getting fast. It does work. Guys, the work's pretty cool. You look great, Bobby. Louis, why are you still so mad? No, I'm thinking about that. You're mad all day, you know? Well, first of all, I've worked.

I tried to hug him like five times. No, you're not trying to hug me in an opportune times. What the fuck does that mean? You're trying to hug him and he's like, Get the fuck off me, dude. I did not say that, dude. I true, but you give off that. I did.

It makes me feel bad, dude. I'm here to hug you. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, I have no problem kissing lose. Oh, fuck that. Fuck that. Don't wipe it. Don't wipe it. Fuck that.

That's not a kiss. Don't wipe it. This is a fucking kiss. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Don't wait for us, I regretted that. Fuck that, that's not a kiss. Don't wipe it. This is a fucking kiss. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew You look soft lips man. Get out of the way. Get out, get out. I'm gonna suck his dick for a go at the pass. Yeah.

Guys, the blind guy can't see you kissing. Kissed, legally close to him. Hey, we're over here. Look over here. Can you turn his head till it looks like he's listening? I hope he's like dare double and he can just beat the shit out of you That's the jet blind Mike dude. That's the real behind you. He went as a part of the Park so I'm Mike dude Bro loves you I gave him a golden ticket to just because he's blind and I felt bad for him

I was like you should have the waiting lines dude. He can't Guess what hey, do you have a stick? Yeah, he's got a a stick I see it's folded up. That's awesome take his stick take His stick it's gotta be a what did you got to choose one your girlfriend or your stick We're taking one home Well, I mean honestly what's more useful that stick or your girlfriend? It really is. You can't do it, he didn't either. He can't hit your stick with your girlfriend.

Oh man, you gotta just go wherever she wants. Just look where we're going to target again blind Mike. I know I can smell it when we walked in. Lewis had a good one, I got stepped off. What? Shane started talking to him, I was like, oh, what are you gonna say, Shane? Ooh, Shane. Shane, take Shane.

I didn't know we had fucking Marcia Chan energy with Lewis and Shane. Shane is a Shane, Shane. Shane. Wait, what was Lewis? My joke was funny also. I said that blind guy's girlfriend would constantly lead him to Target.

It was a funny joke. Lewis. What was Lewis's? I've never heard of Lewis. Lewis, good one. I want to hear it. I know it. You got to go on. Go ahead. No, you're going to tell it better. No, please. No, no. You rate me. I won't cancel you for it. You're fucking joke was funny. It was great. So I said, I said, what would you rather your girlfriend or your stick? And then he was like, oh, I said, I was like, okay, you can't hit your stick with your girlfriend. Yeah, that was better than mine.

That was good. I didn't hear it. That was very good. What was that? He said, you can't hit your stick with your girlfriend. Like you can hit your girlfriend with your stick. Oh, that too. Oh, yeah, that was good.

What was it going on? Damn. Lewis. Oh. Thank you. Good night. Yeah. What was it going? Lewis! Thank you! Good night! I'm not a retired from comedy now. We know.

I feel bad because I said take a stick and now he's holding it. I'm just kidding. We're not going to take your stick. He can't put it down. He won't find it again. Oh, you're blind and we're not. Um, hey guys, guys, Joe, how nice was the flight in, dude? I saw those mountains. Ooh, yeah. Beautiful. So nice, dude. Beautiful. Did you see the sunset? Oh, my God. I love guys. The fainted, the fainted. The fainted attendance on Delta. Beautiful. Beautiful. Really easy on the eyes, if you know what I mean.

And a little pink pussy, when you look at a pink pussy, like a kids, you know? Like a child's pussy, right? What? Is that what we're getting to? Did we take it all for granted? Your mouth was made for child pussy.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. That was a good one. Did we take it all for granted your mouth was made for child pussy How long have you been blind your whole life over here? Oh No shit, so you saw that. You saw when you were a kid? I'm still blind but not as I was. Oh, okay. Oh, man. Did you like parents drink or something? What happened? No, it's like, she might have put it like a one-four chance in my brother. He's a good athlete. He's a good athlete that can see. So you got no athletics and blind. God damn brother. Do you even know if your chick's hot or not?

She is, dude. She's hot. She's hot. She's very pretty. Yeah, if I was a black guy. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you ever smell or smoking no ports Sorry, I'm sorry So that's what you look never have to wear makeup around him. You never have to get ready, right? It's great. Yeah, he's looking right at it. This line motherfucker, dude You're like Tim Dylan's gay. He sucks off young guys blind. Joe again with the pedophile stuff. What are you not telling us?

No, I'm saying Tim. Not me. I don't suck off young guys anymore. I'm 40 years old. That's pretty wild, dude. Well, I'm glad you came, dude. Thanks. Did you have to get front seat?

Oh, all right. Yeah, what makes sense? It would, exactly. You're like in the back road It doesn't matter they can put them in back. He's not I mean, that's for a that's what I just cited person. That's from front row It's not about the front seat is about not waiting in line Yeah, but he can sit back there Yeah, it doesn't matter where he sits. Yeah, he's facing the opposite direction

You're in the front row dude, then you don't even know that you're in the front. You got great seats. That's fucking wonderful. And how long you guys been together? Four years. Four years, nice. Wow, is she the one? Probably. You cocky blind motherfucker.

You should be so lucky that this beautiful blonde bitch would take any time to be with your crippled ass That is crazy, dude when you guys get into fights Do you talk about how good your ex-boyfriends vision is when you get into fights? You could see he could fucking read a street sign half a mile. Yeah, I Didn't have to drive everywhere. He's got eyes like a hawk. Ha ha ha.

Propose to her right now. She's on your right. Hey. Hey Mike. Ha ha ha. Hey Mike. Mike, when you compliment her so you're just lying. So baby, you say you look beautiful?

You do? But how do you know? How do you You do? But how do you know? How do you feel for lumps? So how do you know? You're just guessing? No, his friends would tell him. Like, you know his boys are like, dude, you gotta fucking dump this ugly bitch.

She's fucking gross. She's very attractive. I would tell you, no, I'm not even your friend like that. I know you very casually. If your girl was ugly, I would whisper in your ear in the bathroom. I wouldn't be my voice, but I'm not even your friend like that. I know you very casually. If your girl was ugly, I would whisper in your ear in the bathroom. I wouldn't be in my voice, but I'd be like, to do it a little bit, she's ugly.

Thank you. No, she's good. Shane's gonna eat it. Oh, I would definitely eat it. Twitter night. Hey. Hey, your boyfriend can't see this. Shane, Shane, you want me to, do you want me to do it?

Do you want me to fucking wingman you and just make noises? So you can't see it. I go, ah, ah, ah, go Shane, hit order. Ah, I can't do it, dude. That's so fucking maniacal. So maniacal. So maniacal. What are some of the things that you have to do for him in daily life? It's like everything.

Like, do you want to hold his dick while he pees? I mean, how do you... How do you piss him all over your bathroom? No, he can see shit. Dude, if I was blind, I would not be able to... I could barely hit the bowl when I'm not blind. Yeah. Yeah, do you sit and pee? You fake So gonna be a man dude aim well, well Bobby couldn't see his Jack Telewikgo

Chup well, chup, chup, chup, chup, chup, chup That was fucking true. That hurt. I saw my dick for the first time in years. What did you say? What's the first words? I was like, you're fucking different colors now. Was it like, you ever see those videos

like lions seeing a guy after like 40 years? Or is it your dick must have come up and like hugged you? Like, oh, Shane, why wasn't seen you in 12 years or is it more like when they put those glasses on little kids to see their parents? She's like Bobby what does it look like? It's going to be, it looks exactly like me. It looks exactly like me. Little kids with glasses are hot. Jesus, Joe, what are you doing? What, I'm having fun.

Keep bringing little kids out. I'm joking, he's brought up a little kid. He said hot little kids are laughing at all. You fucking sicko. What? Guys. Kids aren't allowed in here. It's cool. I didn't say that at all, you fucking sicko. What? Guys! Kids aren't allowed in here, it's cool. There's one test file chanting your name now.

No, I'm only kidding. Yeah, wait, hopefully. Just kidding, guys. What did you just make lips at me? You like the kiss thing? I do kiss a little bit, you were... Bobby, you're like ladies potato chips. Did he like you grab me?

Like, has you been trying to to tongue kiss me? About to go. Yeah, dude. So what? No, it was, it was, it was, it was a, it's like, it's not like how women feel like back in the day when a man would just grab him and they didn't want it, but then they wanted it after they started getting it. Are you saying they raped you? But I liked it after it happened. So you took that shot and you won. Oh, thank you, brother. So take a shot, fellas, this weekend.

Take a shot, dude. Just any girl you see, grab her, choker, put her up against the wall. It's our kissinger, especially as possible. And ladies, be cool. Yeah. Don't be funny, dude. Don't be funny, dude.

Stop being gnarx, dude. Try to have a good time, but try to teach these men confidence. Okay, if you go out there and fucking get us arrested for it, it's not gonna be good. I hope there's isolated audio. What's up, dude? Where are you from, man? From Jersey? Are you friends with the other chubby guy? Are you friends with the skinny Cuban?

Fucking Spanish, dude. Really? You guys hang out. Why is there a seat between, forget it. I know why there's an extra seat. I was there too buddy. Dude, why are you dressed like it's your first day of trying to get in shape? Guys, don't let them pick on you dude. He was fat too back in the day. Yeah.

Yeah, you were fat. Yeah was fat too back in the day. Yeah. Yeah, you were fat. Yeah, not like you, Bobby. You were so dangerously fat that you had to get a surgery. Here's a problem with you, though. And all of you fuckers. Oh, you got a surgery? Oh, you didn't know that?

Yeah. No, I thought you like walked. LAUGHTER Yeah. I got the fucking... Cheetah, dude. Cheetah, dude. Cheetah, dude. Cheetah dude.

Cheetah dude. Hold on, Shane, does that make them berry bonds now? Is there an asteroid? It's got an asteroid big time. You're talking shit with an asteroid, a lot of people, dude. First of all. Hold on, who gets a fat surgery and then it's like,

look at you, your fat beast is yet. That's crazy fucking right here. That's crazy, bro. Look, I used to be good looking back in the day. You keep saying this. That's crazy. That's crazy. Fucking right here. That's crazy, bro. Look, I used to be good looking back in the day. You keep saying this. I did. Fucking I'll pull up a picture.

You're saying the problem is now you're losing weight and you're old, so you're just like a fucking grandma. No, it's so awful. You're not hot bob. Let's shame through the jokes. Damn. No. That was a nasty thing to say.

Because what he said was actually me. And you laughed out there. You laughed out. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,as, series, gremene, realitis y contenido infantil. Plus fatibi, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. Las últimas tendencias en botas, comodidad 10 de los desde 29 con 99. Daisman, mucho por andar. Ya, dude, yo era f***ing nuts, yo era un día, yo era un día. ¡Ya, definitivamente! Pero no, pero si guys, this was the only guy. Dude, you should have died a legend. Now you're just gonna slowly transform into boss.

Don't say a thing. Your boss now, dude. Is boss here? Yes, boss is led. No, he's not. If you say his name, he shows up. You're going to say, I bet if you say it three times. You're going to say it three times a tour of the 7-2-3 times, dude.

Voss, don't do it, dude. Voss, where's Voss, dude? Voss, I'm challenge-leading, you know what I'm saying? I'm golfing, dude. I think he's on the Legends show. Yeah. He's hosting it. Oh really?

Yeah, he's hosting it. Wow. He's hosting the Legends show with Sam Talent. Sam Talent the Legend. Dave Smith is also on that show. The Legends. Who else on the show? I don't know. Pauli Shores. Pauli Shores. I feel legends. Who else on the show?

I don't know, Pauli Shor. Pauli Shor, I actually am on that. You're on it too? I hope I don't know. Did you throw the word legend out there? You know how it's just really, it's a show. There's no legends on the show. Pauli is hanging on a car.

It's your festival. I don't know what they're this horse shit. I wouldn't have paid it for this. If I were you people, I would ask know what they're this horseshit, I wouldn't have paid for this. If I were you people I would ask for a fucking refund right now. Let me get my check first. You're getting paid to $800 that bad? You'll get $800 bucks. I hope.

So anyways, Mike, you doing alright? I'm blind as hell. He's like, I technically have gotten progressively more blind during the show. Mike, are you ready for the new Avatar 2? It's gonna be nuts, dude. All of us are gonna love it. You're gonna sit there like a fucking idiot dude. Avatar rules.

Avatar! We love it dude. Us seeing people love it. Can't get enough. Alright. Hey Mike, you've never seen a movie. You've just heard it. You liked Fourth of July, you mean you?

Great film. See, the thing about Fourth of July, you don't need to see it. You can feel it. You know what I mean? That's the way you should see it. It's felt. My teeth were perfect. Lewis got cut out of Fourth of July.

That's right. We're going to show it, right? Oh, we're going to show it with my scene in it. Lewis got cut out of foot, did you lie? We're going to show it, right? Oh, we're going to be showing it with my scene in it. No, just your scene. I think. That's what they told me. We're just showing my scene. Yeah.

Here, a two-minute scene is a whole thing. Dude, nothing to do with this festival because I think we sent it to you. He sent it to you? Yeah. I think that they were showing the whole movie. Joe. Oh, nobody wants to sit through that. No. No, I think that's one thing. Your scene was fucking great though. Thanks man. You were amazing. I saw it. Yeah. You fucking killed it. Sorry. He saw it. I'm sorry, Mike. I saw it. He put in, he put in R, in the word saw. I fucking saw it. You saw it.

What the fuck are you saying? Sorry, how do you say drawer? Draw. Draw. Draw. Draw. I think you got it right, but it was still funny. Draw.

Yeah, you're Pennsylvania hippie. Go fuck yourself. I am a bit of a hippie guy. I'm one of a hippie guy. Yeah. I'm more of a bud light, free love guy. No, but you guys are going to screen the movie? I think that's what they were going to do. I thought they were just showing you our scene. Why would there be a whole fucking show for a two-minute scene show?

Because you're a festival in your inn. That's psychotic. You're not in the film though. But you and you are. Yes, we are. We did great. You guys are so good. Yeah, we were awesome.

Thank you. Fantastic. Thank you very much, Dan. Yeah, phenomenal. I mean, I've seen together was fucking great, right? Yeah, sure was. So I don't think any of my scenes got cut, right? No, you are 100%.

Everything you did was so good, we left it in. Great. Lewis had one chance. No, you are 100% of everything you did was so good we left it in great Lewis had one chance blew it By the way, it's the year anniversary of Lewis finding out he was cut at Skankfest. It was true I happened live on you know down here. Yeah, I'm gonna beat the shit out of Louisie guy The next time I say I'm just gonna punch him directly in there I hope I hope he knows C McGon, just fucks your shit. Okay, I said a box, how long are we supposed to have that be?

If you just fucking leave me out. Oh, how funny is it, Louie making this noise? Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Well, yeah, and more blind people. Anybody got any defects? Any deaf people? Yeah, well, there you go. A par of big cut talk to about something you said. This is what would be the worst defect? The worst defect?

Being blind, the worst would you rather be blind or deaf? I'd rather be blind, because deaf you could still enjoy comedy and music, yes. Yeah, but you can't hear tits. Some of them you can. Yeah, he's not my kid. By the way, stole that line, John McKeever. That was a stolen line, don't you? About a, about a old Mike can hear tits.

Mike, can you hear tits? Fine. All right, everyone in the room slap your tits together. Mike, what would you rather be blind or deaf? You'd rather be deaf. You'd rather be being blind. It doesn't rule at all. It doesn't kick ass. There's got to be some positive.

There's something positive about it, dude. I mean, everyone likes you. Right? That's cool. You got a hot girlfriend. There's a guy over there trying to fuck your girlfriend. But you can hear farts. Very funny. Yeah. Yeah. I have there trying to fuck your girlfriend, but you can you can hear farts very funny Yeah, yeah, you can smell it you can smell a fart. Yeah

I feel like being deaf would be more lonely, you know what I'm saying Like how lonely is it's not be able to hear anything? You're just seeing everyone have fun or is it a sweet silence? Yeah, there are times being deaf would be good, like during your sets... Roast! Roast! Roast! Roast! Roast! Roast! I just want a different chance. Just kidding. Thanks.

I think your sense of grace. I think you're good. What's up dumb with laugh? No, just fuck around. I'd rather be blind than deaf. Because you can hear everything, Mike. Yeah, we're saying this because he's here. If he was deaf, I'd be like, you know, be in blind with suck.

Fucking dick, dude. But hearing farts does outweigh seeing tints. Hearing farts rules. A fart is the funniest thing ever. You probably hear them much more intense, like full thobi. Dude, I'll take a church, a frill, a church fart when you're in church a year or someone fart loud as hell, overseeing the best paratids. Do you remember? I'm fucking nerd, goes to church.

Ha ha! Lou sir. We'll see. Strong passion. Yeah, I guess we'll see. Do you remember when we went and saw Creed? Do you remember when we saw Creed 2 in the theaters? Yes.

And at the end of the movie, it was getting emotional. It was getting emotional. And a retarded guy in the back cracked the fart right at the end. It was the best time fart I've ever heard him say. It was. It was. It was. It was the King of Comedy.

There's nothing fun. People of the steam room sometimes fart. And I get, why are you in the steam room? It's fucking cool. It's fucking cool. I love the suspense. You do. You do, I believe. Yeah, there's nothing gay about it, dude.

Oh, there is when you suck and cock. Yeah. Yeah, suck and cock is gay. No question about it. No, but sometimes there'll be a guy in there and he'll be like, eh, am I credible? Yeah, are you out of your fucking mind? I'm a wet, dude.

I may smell your wet, hot fart. Hot, wet, tile fart. I'm getting hard. That's a fight, dude. It's crazy. You saying, do you, are you serious? No, but I'll do like the like audible. Oh, you hit him with the fucking black lady fucking. I hit him in a passive aggressive.

Then he gets up and hits him with the hand, we go, don't fucking fart. Do not what you did. Look at him, a nail talk. You do not fart at the equinox team room. Ew. Why do you feel like they feel like they get their- You kick a trash can over?

They're like in a bathroom so they feel like it's like appropriate and some way but I'm like, no it's not, dude. I'm still smelling your fucking fart, dude. Are you naked in the steam room or you have a towel? I will, I'll tell you. But you naked under it. Yeah.

What do you do? I don't go to the steam room. I don't like Guy Dick. Yeah, you do the... never mind. Oh, wow. I don't want to be mean. Yeah. That was gonna be mean.

You go, you have a nice gym though, Econox. Yeah. Right? Yeah, Econox too, Doug. Are you? Yeah, let's steam together, any more. No, we're not. Of course.

Not you. Well, not a man, Econox. Dude, it doesn't make sense. Why? What do you mean? I got a full pass to all over the country You're like a fucking door dude. I feel like you wouldn't fit into the equinox lifestyle So you know it Joe you're not built for the equinox lifestyle. What are you crazy? I'm all equinox yeah You're more like 24 hour fitness or something like that no Joe's got a plan of fitness energy He's playing. He's purple. He's on Fridays. Fucking not really giving a shit.

He's doing this with one machine over and over. Yeah, that's right. I do do that, but I do it at Equinox. Which Equinox do you go to? I go to anyone I want. Which one do you regularly go to? I'd rather not say. I go.

I think they're going to go. I go 61st in that. Look at the size of these people. They're not going to Equinox. They look like Chevy equinoxes. There we go. We're back. That was a... That was a... Yeah, thanks.

Yeah. That covered it deserved. Who is? Fucking Dan lost his energy already. Look at you. Yeah, Dan. Dan's over this fucking part. No, I got high and I'm all sleepy yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, What? Shut up, Polak! Yeah. Yeah. The fuck? Donald Thonkahn. Donald Thonkahn.

Shut up. I'm going to burn this guy so bad, guys. Do it. I got hit, Joe. Why did the Polish guy get kicked out of the M&M factory? He was throwing out the W's. I like that one. I got one.

Good. What's green and flies over Poland? I like that one. I got one. God. What's green and flies over Poland? What? Peter Pansky. Yeah. What's got I loved it? Peter Pansky. You got to say it like that.

I got one. Why did the Polish submarine sink? Why? Somebody left the screen door open. Yeah. It's pretty good. A lot of people the screen door open. Yeah. Yeah. I thought I could feel it. They're gone. They're gonna have a screen door. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Hey, I got another one. Good. Why did a bunch of Polish people die in the early 40s? Because of World War II.

Because that guy's don't fuck up, don't step on the punchline. The Nazis rounded them up and murdered them. Chup, chup, chup, chup, chup, chup, chup, chup. Classic. I wish Voss was here. Where's Voss? I wish Voss was there. Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! was here. Where's Paul? I wish Paul was there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. homeless. Yeah. Everyone's smiling, you know, Rob. Bunch explodes, dude. That was really good. Lewis, that was really good, dude.

Thanks, Toggy. I hope you can build off of that. Yeah. Oh. Oh. We nailed that Polish son of a bitch. Yeah. Look at you.

Striped pants. Where'd you get those? Auschwitz? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Come on, dude. Shake, shake, shake. All right, his intention is just got a fucking atrocity against him. A bunch of dumb ass. Yeah. God, makes me sick.

Yeah. You know? No, what do you think? You think about it is sad though. Holocaust? Yeah, real boldly. If you think about it, it's pretty sad. What's sad?

What happened? To his people? Yeah. Yeah. Was it a lot of Polish people? I think so. What? I went to Poland and they said... Is it all Polish Jews?

Are you just learning? Are you fucking retarded? No, it's just I thought they were rather than of Jews in Germany. Yes. Right? No, they're too. Definitely. Yeah, Poland. No, they got. And Frank, I was in the Dary of Ant Frank in high school, by the way, in the high school portion. You're in the play. I was in the play. I was in a bunch of plays. Cat did what? What you did? What did? This way in the high school part of the play I was in the play I was in a bunch of place can't did what what you did what did this is in the musical theater yeah no listen I'm I'm talking on a stage yeah no I don't know what you're about to make fun of me

for being in a play didn't know you yeah you what are you on heroin god dude why your eyes drowsy I'm stoned and drunk and my voice is gone. You may burn me, but... Are you on heroin? You fucking sack of shit. I'm gonna take a little nap. I might take a pain killer to find the excuse. So you were in Anne Frank, would you play? A trailer, Mr. Crowler.

They're talking clock? Don't go in there, you're in the beast. Mr. Crowler talking clock You're just like What was your best role at high school? Can I get Sebastian in tonight for my son to die in a van Frank Can I get a makers on the rocks from somebody? I'm so thirsty. No, I don't want to fucking for my son. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy.

This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy.

This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy. This guy.

This guy. This guy. This guy, he couldn't see it. But he's just trying to get the black guy something just because he's black. He's throwing it to the fucking blind guy. Break his nose. He's right in his head. Yes, nagging, dude, he's failing. Hey, let us throw a beer at you. If you catch it, I'll give you 500. Oh, that's nice.

No, no, no, no, no, don't do it. Oh Man, I really will be impossible for him to catch it. I'm not I'll give him fucking I'll give him five one dollar bills He doesn't know Yeah, how do you count money? How do you count money? How do you count money? How do they give me back? And when you get changed, That's why he's got the blonde next to him. No, it's not the same way we look at it and we go,

I can't do math but I trust you. Oh, you can see him. So you're not blind, you fucking lying, can't give me my gold to take it back. Yeah, give me that badge back. You can see enough to count money that's seeing. I gotta get close to him, blind is a bat. Now, he's for real, he's a bat. He goes all so darn? Yes, he does.

He came to my, I was just embossed in a couple weeks ago, he came and he was like, he's like, goodbye! He goes to bounce off the wall. Just a little bugs. Do you sleep upside down? Because remember the bat? We were talking bat and then bats tend to sleep upside down. I think this is a tough crowd.

Guys, I'm so grateful. Guys, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful, a little bit. Thanks, fellas. Fuck you. I'm sorry. I'm a little bit. Thanks fellas. Fuck you.

Lost and never showed up. Bustles is a beer. Yeah, fuck them. I told them to come over. Hey guys, I want you to check out Guide Times Presents. It is, look, if you love funny, if you love real comedy, if you love like ONA, Old ONA,

you love my podcast, you're going to love this. They have so many podcasts, hilarious things. They have game podcasts. It's just a funny, fun place to go if you enjoy podcasts that make you laugh and you have a good time. So make sure you check them out. Guy time presents. Guy time presents. It's wordy, but you'll go there. Hey guys, thanks for tuning in to the YKWD. I want you to do me a favor. If you love the podcast, go here patreon.com slash Robert Kelly and become a become a supporter of the show. You get unlimited episodes of YKWD. No commercials. You guys are always a bit there. There's so many commercials dude. There

are there. There's no commercials over there So that's what you're looking for It's not even a price of a cup of coffee and you support the show that you love so much Also, you can extra episode of YKWD. We put all kinds of extra content up there and you get a call during Kelly the J.O.P So go patreon.com slash Robert Kelly become a supporter of the podcast today You were huge like a date last time I saw you you were a problem. You were Craig, you were Craig Hayward. You're the smallest dude I've ever seen now.

Good, first of all. Yeah, why are you so cute? You were a kingpin, dude. I'm not fucking dating you. You're a very dating dude. You're a very dating dude. You're a little you are. Get up.

Let's show it. You are. Stand up. I'm not. Let's show it. Get up. Get up. Stand up. you are, get up. Let's show it. You are, stand up. I'm not. It's how little.

Get up. Wait, dude, sit down. Look, there's a little bit of me. Look, see these men get up. Show, show your size. Wow, dude. Look at this. Yeah, same to you, our Bob.

We can have you anyway. We can have you anyway. We want you. We want you. It looks like that chick on the couch with the black eyes We're about to run a trade on this dude All right, sorry What'd you say oh

Yeah, I could do it now. It's not even a fucking big deal Bobby. You didn't last year you kill three people That was a big deal when I jump that was Astro world Bobby Three people that was a big deal when I jump that was Astro world Bobby travel Bobby travel people in Astro world I don't like the fucking meanness from fuck. All right. I'm sorry Nothing's happening Bullies he's a person And then he goes up to you like dude. He, dude, he's like, what you're out of do? What you're probably saying that you're just bullying me by saying,

pretending that I'm bullying you. It's a weirder shit ever. Yeah, what would your church think of this behavior? Dude. My Catholic church. Yeah, he's going after your faith. Shame. So I don't see a psychologist like a ****

No. He's a confession like a ****'s a Confession like a fucking adult dude. He's a therapist and all three of us go don't bring me into this you What you in the win after his god you face you Make a minute Catholicism dude, cuz they're they They bring up kids again. No No Because they're they bring up kids again. No, no Now that is one of our young boys, dude. Wait. Oh, you're right. Half like yeah, you believe in God

Don't get me stole Yes Recharging Lewis is a wolf person. Yes, he only believes in nature nature. There is no God that is fucking stupid. You know that, right? Yeah, I believe in God, dude. God is gay. God is gay. God is gay. Shane, you're being tested.

How dare you, boys? Shane, Shane's getting mad. Shane's getting mad at that though and I tell him I'm so fucking mad. So, man, he's fucking following us. Shane's Sebastian, bro. Shane, that's his confirmation. Your faith is being tested, Sebastian. I don't get fallin' shit. St. Sebastian, bro. See, that's his conframe. Your faith is being tested, Sebastian.

I don't get it, fuck dude. You guys can turn your backs on God. That'd be a huge mistake. I'm gonna stay here. Dude, I would love it if you were straight up became the top Christian comedian. And I got a man's true comedian. Are you really Christian?

Do you have like his death? He's got like his death. First off, Christians are gay, shit. Oh! Are you really Christian? Do you have like his gift? His gift is different. First off, Christians are gay shit. Oh! Catholicism, dude, the one true God. Do you fold your hands before you go to bed? What's that?

Do you fold your hands before you go to bed? Yeah, I go. Yes. And then I pray. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. You actually pray. Do you say like that?

You say those prayers that you had to offer God. Oh, yeah, you actually You say like you say those words and you talk about All right, this is them because Forgive all just as as we forgive those Do you got What's happening? Pray for my friends, Lewis. Pray for my friend Bobby, you just got over a family. I'm happy.

Shane. I go, God, protect Bobby's pad. Fuckin' Shane. Just got him down and go, hey, Shane. He was a kid. That was a pretty tough week, buddy. No, a lot, a lot comes down, and he's like, Shane, Shane, hey, dude, do you ever think about

like bringing a gun to a mall? And I'm like, get the fuck outta here, A lot. And she goes, she goes, Shrine, listen to him, he's in town. And then a Catholic God comes back and he's like, get that fuck the fuck outta here. That's Catholic God, dude, that's not me. I tell him you shouldn't talk like that.

What do you guys do without me? Go, go please. I believe in God. I'm a Catholic too. I believe in God. No, you don't believe in God. I have 100% too. No. What's your confirmation? No. What's your confirmation? My confirmation name is Robert Pete Kelly. That's not real. It's it's it's Jar's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's Lewis. Shayne and Lewis. What's a confirmation name? You know how to comment? I was, but I don't know. Joe, you're from Boston, you got a confirmation name? I didn't get, oh no, I got baptized, I think. I got baptized. I didn't have a patient's death of me.

They tried to get me confirmed that I told my mom I didn't believe in God and made her cry. All right. What? How old were you? Like 13? Oh, so you're like angsty. Yeah.

What do you say hit me? My mom hit everybody got hit. What do you mean pussy? No, no, no, no, I bet his mom put it in. My mom went and fucking hit. I heard it shit. Lewis is told to me stories. What did he say shit about it?

She'd fucking beat me with weapons. Like what weapons? With medieval shit, dude. Like a fucking that ball with the spikes on it Mace she hit you with a mace You would face me anything called mace she would fucking shed a mace TV she threw it at me Macy Gray, did you dad beat you my dad was dead. Oh, sorry He's dead.

I told God. You wouldn't have, though, for sure. He lost. He tried to beat a guy and he lost. No, my dad, no, my dad beat up two guys, and then he, you know, my dad was a badass. So he beat two up and then a third fucking. No, no, they came back later with a knife and said, hey, dude, you're about to meet Shane's God.

He was like, oh, thank God. And then my God was like, yo, sit. It's up. You beat the two of those two guys. That was cool. Mr. Gomez, you're pretty cool. Hey, I know your son's a complete retard, but I'm going to make sure he does pretty well.

Look at what God did for you. Dude, have to turn on God. You're down, listen. God gave you all this. How nice is that It is unfair you should believe in God is unfair. Yeah, yeah, I can't believe you guys sitting around Being sober and not religious I pray to God every day. We're so spiritual.

We call to the eighth. I'm Catholic. Before last week, Bobby couldn't fit his hands together to pray. I thought that was good. That was a good one. I pray every morning. And at night, when I go to bed, I pray. What prayer do you say?

I say, I'll father. And I say, uh... Hell Mary? No. I don't say Hell Mary. Why would say Hail Mary because you that's the rosary? Desperation don't know sad Why would I ever say the Hail Mary? Yes, five seconds left in the house Yeah, do you know the Hail Mary what's the Hail Mary?

Hail Mary of grace lures with you Bless the food I would I would I would marry mother of God pray for us here is now at the Alvar death amen another day of our martyrs pray for us. Yes I Speak in God was a morning prayer. What's it? Remember I used to say morning prayer in the morning was a rhyming Son child God the sun's

Son is gay. Amen. Sun is gay. Amen. Sun is gay. This is the... Sun is gay. Moon's a cool. Sun is gay.

Moon's a cool. I am evil, mommy. Ah, shit, my dad's dead. Fuck. Why did your mom die? I'm trying to be with a morning prayer. For all that I think can do and say I give you my love with Jesus your son today. We'll try to love everyone. What's the first one?

That's so sick though. I don't know that one. I was trying to love everybody. You wake up and go, please. I'm gonna try to love everybody. Then you get a newbie and go, Fuck you're going, you fucking... Get out of your Pakistani piece of shit. Go back to Africa, you piece of shit.

That's not me, I would not do that. Fuck you, Joe. I'm praying for a topic for us to, uh, just go straight now. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun.

We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun.

We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. And there was another kid that got something punch in the face yesterday on stage. Who got punched in the face? See what you did, Joe? Look at this fucking dumb top of he brought up. I didn't bring up the topic, Bobby. You asked for homework on a Friday. I was praying for direction.

You know that's not what this is? We have, you know, it's waves. We get up here, it's waves. It goes and then it dies. And then it goes and dies. And then we're hoping for another go. And then we're going to take a standing. I am texting the Lord, dude.

And he told me, you're really texting. What are you talking about? Get off, fuck out of it. Get off. Good luck on locking it. Good luck on locking that, dude. Try six, nine, six, nine. Oh shit, that might work.

Actually, you're not far off. Do 777, Louis's number. You're never gonna lock that dude, my mind. 6666969. I would never, I would never. Guys, dude, do the fucking YKWD, come on. What the fuck What the fuck is wrong with you, it's fine. I would like that back

Hey, why don't you pray to God see if I give it back say anything say Please something's lost and can't be found, dude. Please. Please don't do it back for you. Shane knew which tape to go to. This guy just got knocked out from his phone. You piece of shit. Oh, I hope someone lost a tooth because of that.

Well, we've got to be a little double amy for say Anthony. They can't find that guy's tooth. And please find my phone. Hey, Mike, Shane's standing up right now. Where's this guy going now? Yeah guys, it's not that big of a fucking view. This is the biggest moment of this guy's life. I hit your head dude, you sell out. Guys kill him, he said he's gonna sell us. And hit you in the head. You hit him in the fucking head open your eyes dumb ass catching It's got a blind guy in the front row. He killed for that opportunity. Yeah, but he'd come through snatch that shit

I can't believe you threw his fucking phone you psycho. I'm what I have fun. It's crazy. It was great. It was hilarious. It was worth it, right? So you got the return she's phone to him. Alright, let me see she in Through the microphone. No, no, no, no, don't throw that. You're gonna hit the fucking kid in the head Okay All these fucking kids Hey Joe remember that topic Mm-hmm. I even I I'll start hosting if you want.

I can bring shit up. You're just sitting here. Listen. You know, you're all skinny and sexy again. You think you're not the work dude. Dude, go fuck yourself. You see the hardest worker in comedy? I am the fucking one.

Not you. But I'm fucking, I'm sitting up here with you guys. We're fucking talking. What are we gonna do? I brought up a topic. Nobody wanted to fucking talk about it. What was a terrible topic? What do you want? What't you know who touched the fuck now you're meant to pull the audience for a topic that they want that's also not

Hostile not fucking doing that I was gonna I was gonna ask you how do you how do you feel about the war in Ukraine? There's a war where there's a war in Ukraine rush. I do not give a fuck you don't care. I do not care Bobby, what do you think of crypto? Go. I'm fucking still mad at Lewis for dropping 2000. Maybe at your fucking party, maybe by Shubin Ubu, because I'm going to be a millionaire in a week. If I just hold on to it, you clock sucker.

That's right. A dollar. It's nothing. You know what? You bought crypto. This is fucking real. This house was like dude Chubu no no whatever the fuck I was like Cardano or some other shit I bought Cardano I bought all this shit It's nothing dude

It's $5 it's all gone. It's crazy. You're an ass. I've ejected so long I had DC money. I had like $25,000 in this. In what? Crypto. Crypto. Oh. I had, I don't know crypto. I forget what it's called.

That's good. Fuck. Hey, we're having connections. This feels like a practice of a podcast. I think we have to. We have to. You know what I'm talking to you Shane. I thought you love of Christ. I'll put this table like

Jesus. I thought you love of Christ. Let me choose. That was 20. That was 20. All right we're probably the same. I had a theory if let me see. Let me see. I had a theorem due to the theorem. Fucked. I had $20,000 worth of crypto. It's worth $4,108 right now. had a theory I'm due to theory I'm fucked I had $20,000 worth of crypto It's worth $4,100 right now. Oh, I'm doing good Bobby. What did you have? I have I have

I have $122 It's all I have and crypto that's how much you made on a special I Didn't make anything on my special I got to pay that fucking red head back I didn't make anything on my special. I got to pay that fucking red head back. Make sure you buy the special you cock suckers. Yeah. It's all right now. LouisCK.com.

Buy the fucking special. Yeah. I did. You bought it? No. You cock sucker. Did you buy it? What?

Did you buy my special? Bobby, I did. I'll show you the receipt. You bought it? You got a fuck. You got a fuck. You got a fuck. You're such a suck up dude.

I'm such a good friend. You're a good friend. You're not even a good friend to me dude. Yes I am, I fought for your love of Christ. You abandoned me dude. You hate me. I don't hate you at all dude. Stop doing this.

You're mad at me. You abandoned me. I can't find you at all dude. Stop doing this. You're mad at me. You abandoned me I can't find that receipt but Bobby swear to God. We just got the light. Oh Shit, what is that Robert Kelly kill but you're not touching my phone on this fucking channel 52 you cock sucker I'm not gonna throw you think I'm yeah, I don't know Let me I'm can I hold I keep you know I will let go. I'm not going to show you that. I'll bring this back. You can't just phone.

I just call that. Let me just see it. Oh, that's an emergency. You're calling an emergency. You're trying to call a cops on me. Fucking snitch. Oh boy. I'm going to buy it tonight.

You're not going to buy it tonight. I swear to you guys buy it. I swear to God. Can you get it for free on YouTube? No, you can't get it for free. You have to pay for it. For Andrew Schultz says you have a lot on YouTube. No, he fucking, he's for him.

He's for him. No, no, the Schultz said that's the everyone can just do that. No, Schultz made, he made people buy it and then he put it on YouTube. Yeah. I love Schultz. He's like, dude, they're shadow banning me. He's like, dude, you have five billion fans.

Nobody's shadow banning you. Yeah, that's what I would say. Yeah, I did fuck Schultz,outs right everyone. No, what the fuck? Fuck Andrew Schultz you got to get the rhythm of the chant fuck Andrew Schultz Fuck Andrew Schultz. Fuck Andrew Schultz. Yeah, look at all these fucking they're not doing it You know what guys like I won't say it. Yeah, this Cuban dresses like Andrew Schultz. You're not doing it You're just like Benny from the sand lot Yeah, this Cuban dress is like Andrew Schill, too. I'm not doing it You're just like Benny from the sand lot

Yes So bad, all right, listen we're gonna wrap this up they gave us the light It's a bad is it a five minute letter? What would you say do a cameo? What cameo, you know you cano. You know you cameo. You're city cameos. You're so hard. We discovered on the bonfire that Bobby dresses up as cupid. I mean I fucking made a good fucking cupid. You gotta admit that.

Shit, I'm gonna buy you a Bobby cameo that says that your God is the only one true God. Because 500 bucks now done wow I just got 500 dollars to say our God is an awesome God. No, I don't have to I would do that right now Jesus Christ Yes, there's a couple really what they know You believe Jesus Christ was the Son of God. Yes. Yes. You believe that. Yes.

Stupid asshole. You're the stupid asshole. No, I'm not. That's why you believe that. You believe that there was a virginity Mary who gave birth to the Son of God. Yes. You're a fucking retort.

You're actually a stupid idiot. Tell that to Albert Einstein, dude. He believed it. Yeah. Yeah. a fucking retort. You're actually a stupid idiot. Tell that to Albert Einstein dude, he believed it. I guess he was a dumbass. Yeah, no, you are, you actually are a dumbass. What do you believe? Tell that to the guys that you've conquered your island. But you atheists were sitting around playing with sticks and then Catholics showed up, put your ass in place dude. I thought have to act fucking Catholics give it up for Catholics Show them on wooden boats cross the ocean said bunch of Gomez's get with it dude

What is this? He made from heaven above Our God is an awesome God We made from heaven above the earth. That's God, that's Jesus. That's Jesus. Oh God is an awesome God. Oh God is an awesome God. Oh God is an awesome God. Ladies and gentlemen, let's end this podcast by praising Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Everybody please grab the hand of the person next to you.

Grab the hand of the person next to you Stand up and grab you look at the person say hi say hi Mike other side other side Everybody say hi Right now everybody with with me in shame Oh Father who aren't heaven? Hello be thy name thy kingdom come that will be done on earth as who art in heaven, Hello be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Bobby, don't forget us,

give us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever. So we're in Cresher Park, dude. Cut the end part. Regular camera. You guys are the best, bro. We're gonna hit the fuck out. We're in a re-border. Shane goes dance soda. Joe Liss and Lewis Shane Gomez. You guys are the best. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.

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