Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Skype, Lies and Cigarettes

Episode Date: September 12, 2011

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Hey everybody this is Joe DeRose of the menu here featured on Robert Kelly's podcast you know what dude Only here at glory whole radio.com and a special thanks to all you that bought my new CD It's number six baby, and that's because of you kid keep smiling wink wink That was that you're fun. Yeah, well I'm gonna I was at it. Was that your phone? Yeah, my alarm went off. Hey, what's up? It's Joe DeRosa and Robert Kelly. Oh, Robert Kelly and Joe DeRosa, whichever you prefer. We're here doing a test podcast.

Joe is not here with me. He is on the road on Skype, I believe Joe. Oh, that's right, Bob. I'm on Skype. It won't let me camera into you though. We don't want to do that, Joe. We don't want to look at each other because that will fuck up the connection. We just want to we just want to talk, Joe. Oh, we just do it like this. It's just audio. All right. All right. Just audio. Audio. Joe. Just audio. Joe. She renamed the podcast that. What? Just audio. Just audio? Yeah.

Should we? Well, not literally Bob, I was joking. But... Well, guess who's now, I just want to say this, Joe, is that we know who's the breather on the fucking podcast. We've gotten a lot of complaints about breathing and I've gotten shit about it. And I was like, oh, Jesus, you know, is it me, what the fuck?

And, you know, and then I started listening to the podcast and I thought it was you, but then it was a little hard to tell, but now I've quit smoking, so we know it's you. What, what is you quitting smoking at the deal with it? Because I don't breathe fucked up. Really? Really after a week?

After a week, you think you're breathing went back to normal already? Joe, Joe, Joe, you know, you gotta watch your levels on this, Joe. I can't, I can't hear myself. I'm not, Joe. Joe, I can't hear myself because it's on Skype. It won't let me hear me.

You know what I mean? Right, no, I got you. I'm hearing you settle down I for you for your heart and for you know, I just don't want you yelling at me Okay, that fucking you mother fucker You've been off cigarettes for a week two weeks you fucking cunt and don't fucking don't ever weeks you fucking cunt and don't fucking don't ever fucking ever talk down about this. This is one of the greatest things since Quentin drugs and fucking alcohol when I was 15. This was hard as a motherfucker. I just walked by fucking 19 pizza stores and I went in eight of them. Now not only can I not smoke Joe, but my wife's got me on a fucking diet. I had fucking egg whites this morning with low fat cheese,

peaches and fucking blueberries. And I can't have a fucking piece of pizza. I'm having a salad, a light lunch, Joe. And I can't smoke. You fucking terrible cunt, shit fuck cunt. Fat fucking thin douche fuck c on the road smoking butts by yourself Getting your dick sucked eating shit food Staying up all night sleeping late taking fucking nap clock suck it you fucking

You dead I'm done you dead. I don't like your long Just cuz it was long doesn't mean it was insightful, first of all. You just kept going. And I was trying, the only reason I was taking an apples because I'm trying to write this goddamn fucking scene. For the, for the anonymous project. Yeah, well, you're not playing this for anything, are you? Yes.

What are you doing? This is the test. This isn't a podcast. Yeah, you know what, Joe? You got to fucking sneak anything, are you? Yes. What are you doing? This is the test. This isn't a podcast. Yeah, you know what, Joe, you got to fucking sneak him in with you, Joe. This isn't a test. This is the test. This is the podcast.

What are your mouth will get went in? What the fuck? We're sitting in a yapping for 10 minutes already. I would have set it up outside where I could smoke because I can't, you know, that's it. That's the end of it, right? You can't smoke, right? Good. Good, I can't, you know, that's it. That's the end of it, right? You can't smoke, right? Good.

Good, you can't smoke. I have my buddy's house. Good. Then you're fucking, you can't smoke just like me, Joe. So it's a non-smoking podcast. You know what I bet I can't do when I come to your house? What? Smoke.

Well, you know, I was thinking about that Joe. I I think you'll be able to smoke at my I think I'll be able to let you smoke at my house But here's hang on now. I said I think we haven't gotten to it's been two weeks So, you know, I'm still a little fucking edgy Yeah, as you can I can tell. Fair enough, fair enough. It sucks. You quit smoking. I get it. It sucks. I've gotten a lot better, but I still have the burning designer to fucking to smoke every once in a while. This is what happens when you quit smoking, Joe. And you probably know, I'm not saying that you don't know,

but I'm saying for the people that don't know, you quit, it's fucking awful, but you find out when you get stressed out and you also find out when you smoke cigarettes. When I smoke after I shower. That's like one of my favorite cigarettes. After I shower and shave and shit, I light up a butt. You know, everybody knows in the morning or after a meal,

but I also smoke after like I did a hike the other when I was on vacation. I wanted to cigarette as soon as I got back. I wanted to hang on, hang I got back. I wanted to hang on my fucking wife is standing there just waiting for a break in the conversation to say something to me right now. So hang on one second Joe. My wife has something fucking to can't wait. Okay is it? I have absolutely nothing to say. I was just staring at you to make you feel awkward. Can't fuck yourself.

To fuck away from me. I don't know who does that. How you could do that, Joe? I like it. I like that dawn. I like that dawn. It gets more and more antagonistic of you. And with every day, it really makes me laugh.

Fucking hate it. Put some nice smile on my face. Fuck yourself. Anyways, you find out when you want these cigarettes. And I found out one, two of the times that I want cigarettes, one was really bad and really put me back for the last couple of weeks was writing Joe. Yes. You know, I would sit down to write and I would have,

oh my God, compulsion and desire and fucking heroin-feending to have cigarettes and I couldn't do it. I couldn't write. My brain stopped. I got aggravated. I flip out, I get mad, I get depressed, I get fucked up.

It was so fucked up. And yesterday, two days ago was the first time I was able to sit down and, you know, sit and write for a while. But I had a bag of lollipops, those dumb, dumbs. Uh-huh. And, you know, those kind of got me through it. But I couldn't write, dude. When I write, I change smoke. I don't know about you, but I fucking chain smoke. Yeah, I smoke a lot when I write, which is made it harder to write here with this stuff that I'm trying to work on for us

because I can't smoke in the house. And you know, I don't know. Like, they have a nice porch, but it's hard to sit outside and write. I get too distracted by everything. Well, they have a porch, like outside porch covered or just... Yeah, it's like a screened in porch in the back. Oh, right, right, right.

But it's nice, it's really nice. I have a hard time right now outside. I get too distracted. They're like, you hear cars and there's dogs barking and shit. I just can't. I need to sit in like a hole, like a dark hole, and right. I have to right the way I carry rights and sex in the city, just, you know, in front of a window.

If there was a God, if there was a God, right now the roof would collapse and cut off, not kill you, but cut off one hand. Now God wouldn't do that. Yeah, my God would not your Egyptian God, but my my Catholic God would You fucking Fucking sober cock suckers are all the same I can't cuz you guys all invent your own God. Well, my God does this.

This is my definition of God. Go fuck yourself. You can't make up your own God. It's either you go to church or you don't. And you don't. Listen, you don't go to church. First of all, that's not true, dude. First of all, God can be whatever you want it to be all right

You don't believe in God so go fuck yourself at all So my words shouldn't have any effect on you, okay? You know, yeah, cuz you're a fucking atheist and you're not atheist because you want to be atheist You don't believe in God your atheist because the crew of Comics that you want to hang out with for the last fucking few years are atheist and that's your way in. You'll be a I guarantee you if you hook up with fucking somebody more famous somebody big if Tom Cruise took a liking to you you'd be a Scientologist holding two 10 cans getting audited every

fucking Saturday. Yeah if Daniel Tosh brought me on the road with him I'd be standing in a circle holding hands praying before the shows. That's funny. If I had to. I give you Tom Cruise and you brought it back to reality. Daniel Tosh. So in tech is Daniel Tosh. It's a fucking heavy change gods. That's as far as I need to go, is Daniel Tosh. Lower, I go lower than Daniel Tosh. Who? Who?

Yeah. You can't name names. You can't name names. Yeah, now you're in a cell. Like somebody that host a show on like G4. They could make me convert something like that. Oh, you know, just a side note, UFC was gonna buy G4.

That was so happy. Because it would have been all UFC, all MMA, God bless you. All MMA, all the, you know, I'm doing a podcast. Can you hold your sneezes? Tell Don I said bless you. I already said it. Joe said, bless you. Without the God.

Yeah, without she. Yeah, both of you don't believe in God. He said, without the God. That's funny. So it's going to be UFC all day. Oh, yeah, MMA all day. I would love it. Those geeks would have got the fucking hot boot.

Yeah, you like G4. It's all video games. I like G4, it's all video games, you know. I like G4, but this is what I hate. This is what bugs me. As they always get to get the hot fucking check. Smoke in the hot girl who loves video games and in all the movies and fuck you, that's like one and a million.

Get the fat chick on the couch. Get the flip with a Batman t-shirt on. Get her on the fucking show. I'd rather listen to her. She's totally gonna be 100% more funny and more real and it's just fucking hot chick. Oh yeah, hey, how you doing? This is care, fuck off.

They do that with MMA, too. They always get a hot chick who's into MMA. Just get the chick that looks like the fucking dude, a fucking guy, and have her do the interviews. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. Nerds are so dumb. They do that with video, it makes me angry

that they do that in video games too, where like the main character is like a chicken, like panties, we're running around with machine guns. It's like just making a fucking check. I was having a conversation with this about Don, all women who are famous, okay? I want you women out there who are enacting, listening to this, whoever listens,

you're an actress in your fucking smoking hot. You're smoking hot, perfect. You're not gonna make it. You're never going to be a hugely successful in the business. You might be successful, you might make some money, but you'll never be Sandra Bullock or any of those brides. Because anybody who's really famous,

any woman that's really famous is not pretty. Not pretty. Unconventionally., Angelina Jolie is pretty. No, she's not. Unconventionally good looking. Her ass is probably the top one of the top 10 worst asses in the fucking world. They never show Angelina Jolie's ass in any movie. You'll never see her from the waist down. You'll never see her in a bikini. Why? Because her fucking bottom half of her body is fucking gross. Now they shot her ass in Tomb Raider. It looked great. Now it didn't. It didn't. It was all fucking smoke and mirrors. Look at her ass and fucking hacker. That's where you'll see her fucking weird ass.

Trust me, dude. Trust me. All right, all right. Angelina Jolie is look But that doesn't take that doesn't make her not hot or sexy Angelina G's sexy. Uh Sandra Bullock sexy Eat it's is acted up and I love it. God shit Shut up just make a light lunch, would you? I don't even know what you're saying there there was The it that she's she's an Emmy award-winning actress. No, she's not. Who isn't? Angelina Jolie. Yeah. She won an Emmy.

She won an Oscar. For what? For a fucking movie. I don't know for what? Girl interrupted her some shit. Why? Because the most famous, like, award-winning actresses are ugly. Are not pretty. Yeah, but Angelina Jolie is not she's sexy Unconventionally, that's what my point Dawn if you listen to what I was fucking put the fucking knife down Don't flip around with a knife like that. Can you goddamn cucumbers a stat of the podcast for the love of God? I blame you Joe

You open this fucking Pandora's box What did I do because you're the one who fucking turns around, because you like sex in the city, and you bond with my wife more than you bond with me. Yeah, because your wife is a good person. She's got good feelings in her, motions in her. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You're just a husk. Okay, and what the fuck are you? Yeah, look, I'm not saying of any better. I'm just saying why I relate to your wife. All right, anyways. ha ha look i'm not saying of any better i'm just saying why i relate to your due to your wife alright anyways so might i'm telling you that these these broads all these women are fucking ugly they're not ugly but they're not gorgeous they're not smoking hot name any talented actress that's at the top of the game name them name one that's just I'm talking smoking hot penthouse playboy hot

yeah you uh hold on look you you you you make a good point I'm not arguing with it right I'm just trying to think there's got to be an exception to the rule let me just think for a second okay what's her face no and she dropped out because she wanted to be a mom but the what's her face? Nope. And she dropped out because she wanted to be a mom, but what's her face? Oh, fucking the Greek Mexican that married Michael Douglas. What's her name? Oh, Catharzyta Jones. Yeah. Okay, Smokin' Hot back in the day, right?

But if you look close at Cathar.D. Jones she's not she's not fucking perfect she's not smoking hot like a penthouse pet Pono penthouse playboy you know that fucking you know model hot okay she's small for number one and even when she did that movie with fucking Sean Connery She was in shape, but look at her now. She's never been really oh my god Like wow look I'd say no she was dude. She was on like when she was big She was on list where it was like the hottest Allie Barry Hallie Barry. Yeah, okay fine. How don Don brought up one a good point black disqualified

What what is what are you talking about? She's black. Why is she disqualified for that? Because she's black, okay, but she's also got a white mom. She's white black, okay? If you look at all the black actresses, they're the same thing. They're all If you look at all the black actresses, they're the same thing. They're all and conventionally good looking women. Okay, Halle Berry is a fucking phenomenon. Okay, she's out. She's gone. She's out. You just did the Barack Obama argument for Halle Berry. All right, okay, here we go. I'll give you Halle Berry.

One, okay, there we go. I'll give you Halle Berry, one, okay, there you go. Take her, there's one. All right. Now Nate, all the other actresses. Now I'm saying your theory, I believe is correct. I'm just trying to think of the exceptions. I'm trying to have fun in thinking of the exceptions. Okay, all right, well then here,

this is what I'm saying to all the women out there. Are you speaking into the microphone by the way Joe? I am, I'm right in front of it. Okay. Right, that was good. Whatever you just did then was good. I leaned forward for a second because my lungs hurt. Body a lungs hurt.

I probably because I smoked 18 American spirits in the last fucking day and a half. Why are you smoking American spirits bro? Cause I ran out of cigarettes the other night and my friend's wife had a pack of these, and she gave them to me. Jesus, man, you get a fucking, wow. I'm not gonna become one of those guys, bro, but.

Yeah, you are. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. Here's a deal. Is that we're going back to the beginning when you said, and a week, really? And a week, dude, the day you, okay, here's, this is how smoking,

how fucked up smoking is. I would wake up with coughing fits all the time. Coughing so hard that I would pass out, okay, almost pass out, my lips would go numb, I would throw up, flam, because of smoking. Right. All the fucking time. I hadn't slept through the night in years, okay?

Right. I woke up two Tuesdays ago, quit smoking, okay. Last, I had a coughing fit. I'm like, I'm done. I've slept through the night every night since then. Haven't woke up once coughing Right that's how fast your body starts to recover from smoking All right, okay breathing smelling I mean immediately comes back

I walk out in front of my house and I can smell Finally smell the dog piss and dog shit. All over New York City. I will tell you this dude I've been congested without smell ability for fucking months man. I know it's from smoking. I got it. I got to stop man. Yeah. You do. You got to stop man yeah you do you got to stop man I'm also getting these like black and white spots on my gums really now I'm joking Jesus Christ come on man I hope not oh my god I wouldn't even be on this fucking podcast right now be fucking running out into traffic oh that's all I would need to see yeah you'd be great to be on the podcast. You know, which money we could raise for the podcast. From cancer. From fucking cancer. We have Joe. We, uh, is he gonna make it?

Oh, Jesus Christ, man. Good donations may help Joe. Yeah, well, I'm gonna quit soon enough. You all. Yeah, I don't know, it's tough. I'm on the road right now and I'm driving, it's all one night, one night or so. It's like I'm driving like on these days, like anywhere from four to six hours a day,

it's really tough right now to not smoke, you know? Well, yeah, drive, dude, by being on the road, being in a car and doing what the fuck you're doing, I would not. I picked a fucking terrible week this quit smoke and brother. I picked the hurricane week and, you know, we were going away. It was just, I had a lot of shit going on,

a lot of stressful shit happening. And I just, but I look, I, happening. But I look, I always say this. People say how did you quit drinking and using drugs so young, blah, blah, blah. When you're done, you're done. You're just done. And I was fucking done. Right. I was just done with it all So well you hit up you hit a bottom with smoking dude. I mean I'm not saying I'm in any better

You know lung health than you are because I don't know you know, but like But like you hit a bottom. I've never had that dude. I don't wake up coughing. I don't like I'm not I don't get any of that I don't hack up flim if do, it's not brown or anything. Like, so there's still that part of me that's like, well, I guess I'm not smoking too much, which is a bad way to look at it. But you know, it's like, I think you have to hit that wall you hit where sometimes where you, you know,

it's, you fucked up from it, man. I mean, you cough until your lips are going numb. That's like what drinking, you know, you gotta hit a bottom before you can, Isn't that weird that they tell you that? That they go, you got to hit a bottom first. It's like they encourage you. If you think you're an alcoholic, just drink until it's something really bad happens. Isn't that weird though? Yeah, it's fucking weird, man. But it is the only way you can quit. I say that in my act, the only way people change is through pain, through fucking awful pain.

It's the only way people change. It's the only way you, I mean, there's the occasion. I was thinking about writing a joke about this. I've always tried to work it out on stage, but it just comes out fucked up. But how I just hate those people who have, don't just have no self-esteem problems, who don't have issues, who can smoke a cigarette now and again.

And, you know, they eat what they want and they work out and they take care of themselves and they make the right choices and they have a retirement fund and they own a place and everything just seems so fucking brilliant. And then you talk to them and they don't understand your dilemmas in life. It's like, yeah, dude, I'm trying to eat. Really? Why?

You can't just, you just don't eat bad. I mean, you can eat bad once in a while. Is that fucking really it? Is that how you do it? eat bad once in a while. Is that fucking really it? Is that how you do it? You just once in a while. Oh, really go fuck yourself. You know, you talk to these people and their lives are just fucking magical.

Magical. Yeah. And it fucking, it makes me sick, man. It fucking makes me sick to my stomach. I just, Yeah, but oh, sorry, good. I just don't know what to do, man. I really don't know what the fuck to do with these people.

A lot of them aren't magical, though. A lot of them are like, you know, a lot of them are that like life at the end of goodfellas when he's standing in front of the house and I got to live the rest of my life like a shunuck. Like a lot of them are those people, so that's the trade-off. You go, hey, they didn't, yeah, they live a perfectly symmetrical and organized life, but they didn't take any chances. They don't live, you know.

I mean, this, dude, I'll tell you this. I'll tell you that you can relate to this as a fucking comic and a guy that's done a lot of fucking shit in his life, right? There's nothing worse than when you're sitting around with a bunch of real dudes and they're telling stories and you feel like I don't have a story.

I don't have a fucking, I fucked up this one time real bad and thought I was gonna die, story. You need those stories, dude. I mean, you don't need them, but you know, that's who we are, so you trade that. You go, I don't have a retirement fund, but goddamn, I fucking, I did a few things, you know? Yeah.

Well, here's the thing is, did a few things, you know? Yeah. Well, here's a thing is, I just don't like them. I just don't, I hate the fact that today, the last two weeks quitting smoking, it just affects my life. And I've been doing this my whole life.

I've been struggling, clarring, fucking my way to become a just a normal, good, regular human being to just be happy, more than being fucked up. And even coming home today, you know, I want to be an age to kind of get some stuff for the podcast, to be able to, you know, keep this up while you're on the fucking road

or on rainy nights, if you don't feel like walking over here, we can just do this. Thank you for putting it 100% on me. I appreciate that. Well, what? How about when you go on your sixth fucking fly fishing trip for this year? Throw that in there. Throw that into when we might need this stuff.

Those, first of all, my fly fishing trips never interrupt this podcast. Okay. I interrupt everything. I don't talk to you for four days. When you go away, it's like, Hey, dude, I'm going to be gone. When I go away, it's like, can you bring this? And we can try to do this while you're doing your thing where you are. You go away.

I don't fucking hear from you for five days. You mother fucker. Yeah. Wow, listen, hello. I am here. Okay. I didn't hear anything you just said. Listen, I think it is.

I think the mics went out. I am. Oh yeah, yeah. Well, anyways, what was I saying? Now you get me all fucking dis. You were saying you went, you said even at B&H today, you were gonna say how that related to your. Yeah, I'm walking home from this fucking thing.

I just bought, you know, a new mixer, you know, stuff that I never thought I'd buy, but now that we have the option of going live and we have the option of having people call in, I wanted to be able to, you know, you know, get this mixer so we can do all this stuff flawlessly without a fucking problem, right? Right Needless to say I found another way to kind of do this which is You know I could I could plug it like what we're doing right now this test this podcast that became And this this podcast was actually a test

So we could do this whole podcast and it might not work. Right now it's working though, everything's working. So I bought it one cord for five dollars, plugged it into my computer, into the zoom, and we're doing a podcast over Skype right now. So technically, I don't need the mixer. But we'll see what happens. But I'm walking home from the fucking thing being age and

I just was fucking I am walking by pizza place after in restaurant in New York City There's a new restaurant ever and then this place and I look in and there's a bunch of fucking hipsters in a school sandwich joint that and then there's another pizza place and another pizza and then a shit little dive-hole pizza place and then the pizza place that I love going to on 40th right near the port authority in ninth and all the shit and I'm literally I went to the ATM I got a hundred dollars out and I was like I can buy I can buy as much pizza as I want. And I'm going, and that, you know what I mean? It's like, and nobody's gonna know. Nobody's gonna know if I sit down and eat a whole pizza right now.

Nobody's got my wife would figure it out, because she's fucking Colombo of Fatsos. She fucking knows when I have anything. She'll fucking smell it on my fucking tooth. What if you just ate nothing really? I ate a fucking twix around three hours ago and somehow this twod finds a fucking piece of calm mouth stuck under my fingernail. Fuck. She fucking found a receipt one day, a

receipt. She on in the garbage. For what? Pizza. She was you had pizza. No, I didn't. Really? And she whips out a dirty receipt. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? It does that. It's funny, man. But I made it all the way home, Joe, without eating a piece of pizza. And, you know, look, I'm still getting fat and fat,

fucking fat. Everybody calls you fat. And look, I joke about being fat in all the Twitter and all the fat, and, you know, uh all the fat. But it does affect you, man. Look, I'm a comic and I joke around and I take the hit from you guys and all that. But it fucking hurts. When it's a daily, all the fucking time thing.

And it is. And I get it, I get it. I, you know, let's look, nobody's really trying to fucking, you know Make me commit suicide. Well probably a couple people on Twitter, but You know, it's it's it's like fuck and now you're trying to lose weight and You're sitting there like fuck pizza. I'm not gonna get but then you know you you still a fat fuck and people are still calling you a fat Fuck why the fuck bother why bother doing any of this why Because you do it for yourself. I'm glad it I'm fucking me and me passionately telling you why

Do I fucking bought and you're anyways you do it for yourself kid? It's fuck you Joseph. I mean oh my god I was listening. I stood up to sneak the yarn out Fuck you, Josephine. Oh my God. I was listening. I stood up to sneak the yaw now, because I didn't want you to hear it. I wasn't yawning at you. I had to get up at seven today, dude.

I'm on like four hours sleep. I'm dying right now. I'm sorry. I hear you, bro, that you do it for yourself. You don't do it for other people. It's easier said than done, obviously. But if you're it for yourself. You don't do it for other people. It's easier said than done, obviously, but if you're happy with yourself, you won't give a fuck if somebody says you're fat

or if you look good. You're just like, thank you, that's it. It is what it is. It doesn't define you. You may take a compliment and it may give you a little boost or you may take an insult and you might go, ah, well, I wish they didn't have to say that. That's unfortunate. But that's as far as it goes, dude. You're not going to let yourself image and

self-esteem, excuse me, be defined by that. So you're doing it for yourself. Yeah, I, I, I, I hear you. I totally fucking hear, but it's just at some point you and then you look at these guys who are just so in shape. You know, I'm watching these TV shows and everybody is in shape. Even the fat people are in shape. Yeah. They're like thin fat people. Yeah. And it's fucking amazing. You know, I'm on the show, the two two.

And it's a fucking cool show. Everybody in it's fucking great. But, you know, I'm telling you, I put on some pounds since I quit smoking, Joe. The two weeks that we were away or the hurricane and then we went away again to kind of detox and be away from the city you know my wife quit smoking too um... when she was so mad at me too when i woke up and i'm like i'm done i quit she was like you're a fucking asshole because she has to quit

right um... but it's you know that I put on some weight, dude. I really put on some weight in the last couple weeks. I mean I mean I could feel it. Finally you know where I couldn't bend down. I put on my weighters to go fly fishing Joe. I couldn't bend down because it was so tight. Jesus. Yeah, fucking Jesus is right. My God, Jesus. Yeah.

And. Right, yeah. You know, I get it. I'm gonna lose weight a couple weeks a month, but that's the thing. It's like two months down the road, you'll be like, oh, dude, you look great. You lose them weight, but I still, I won't be there.

I'll never get to where I see these other people. Because food is my fucking drug. Food makes me feel good. Yeah. I have to learn how to be. I have to learn how to be miserable and sad and sacrifice. I have to learn how to live with pain. And I've fought that my whole life. Well, dude, look, you don't have to learn to live with pain with this, dude. You just gotta redefine, you gotta redefine your palate. That's all I've been up to.

No, dude, you have to redefine your palate. I get what you're saying. That takes a couple of years to actually change the salt and your nutrition and what you eat and what you like. I get that, but no, dude, it goes deeper than that. Look, dude, that's like you quitting alcohol, smoking, quitting, quit alcohol, quit smoking, and quit eating shitty.

Well, I mean, it's ridiculous. Why would I? No, I hear you, dude, but I got to tell you, man. I... If I had a gun right now, I would kill myself just so you could live with that. Seriously, so you could live with that. It's... You just spiteful, even in suicide, spiteful. That's hilarious that you would only do it to spite me.

No, but I'll tell you something, man. I, look, you're, you're in a place, you're in a place that I'm not at. You're in a place that I want to get to because I always say to myself, well, God damn, if I, if I settle down with the right girl and I loved her and I could hang out with her, I wouldn't really, I don't think I'd really go out drinking. I mean, I might go out one night a week but I wouldn't really want to.

The only reason I go out and do that is because I got nothing to fucking do. Yeah, but you know what happened to you, dude, if you'd get fat. If you got the girl, if you got a check, like you need to get fat, having a girl makes you get fat. And I've been my fat as because I'm happy.

And when you get happy with a girl, when you have a girl that you love or whatever, a lot of things is, what do you want to eat? What do you want to eat? Let's go and eat. You know, I mean, what are you going to do? Go to a fucking museum every day or fucking, you know, water, I mean, we get into spurts like that and it's really cool. I remember some of the coolest times I've had with my wife is, you know, I remember we were both in shape at one point working out every day and we went to my uncle's house

and we woke up and ran. We ran like two miles and then worked out on the beach and then went swimming. And it was like like what the fuck man That was the shit Right, I remember how good we looked and felt and went to a rubour and we were the shit and we felt great and You know, it was just awesome and then you know now now I look at my poor wife over on the couch right now Eat in a salad, you know She could be eating a fucking plate of dog shit

with the face she has on right now, like trying to get it down. Oh, swallow, just lettuce. Good boy. Good boy. No, you know, it's, it's, look, I'm lucky too, cause my wife, look, she cooked a fucking great salad today. She'll take care of me, but if she falls off the wagon,

I fall off the fucking wagon. You know what I mean? All I need to do with her is manipulate her into a fucking pizza. I did it yesterday. What did I do yesterday? I lied to her. I said I ordered a pizza. She's like, what? I go, I ordered a pizza. We'll get a pizza. It's coming now. She goes, when did you order that? I go on the internet. It's coming. The pizza's coming. She's like, all right. I go you have a slice, right? She's like, yeah, I have a slice I go good. Let's get a pizza. She goes, you didn't order. I go, no, I just wanted to fucking see if you'd be cool with it And you are you're already set some and then she was like, no, we're not getting a fucking pizza. I was like, fuck you You already said you wanted some

Look, dude, I've seen you I've seen you when you're in those work out peaks and all that stuff. You're happy when you're doing that dude and I'll tell you something, it's annoying when you're doing it because you do it like an attic, does it? When you do it, you do it all the way. Yeah, it's annoying. It's annoying to me. Yeah, because you sit there and go, go, why do you eat that shit dude? Fucking look at that. I used to eat like that. You're that guy. It's like, all right.

You know, can I just eat this wopper? Please leave me alone. Wopper. Fucking who eats a wopper? I remember one day we were on the road back when you used to take me out as your opener and then pick on me the whole time. Yeah. That was years ago by the the way, and it was like a few times. And you were a fucking just a moron back then. Thanks, thanks. It could have been partly you in any way. There was no, you had no emotional damage

or bad communication skills. In that way. Anyway, look, I'm just fucking around. But you brought me on the road one that we were in. I wish I could remember where we were going. Anyway, some fucking thing upstate, one of those goddamn SUNY schools or something, you know? And we went to this rest stop.

I was eating Burger King and you were eating, you had a fucking pile of meatballs and sausage from sparrows and it's in a breaded chicken cutlet and you were telling me that that was somehow healthier than what I was eating. Yeah. Well it is because the carbs and the sugars and if, you know, I didn't have a breaded cutlet, it was, I used to get the meatballs and sausage from sparrows. And you could get, you know, that was,

look, you're right, you're absolutely right, it's not as, it's still bad for you when you eat it as, like that. Right. You know, but. But you were in shape. But you were dropping weight? I was dropping weight because of the carbs.

You know, one of my things that makes me gain weight really fucking easy is carbohydrates. Carbs do not sit with me right. As soon as I eat them, my stomach gets bloated and I gain weight very fast. I can put on 10 pounds in two weeks, no joke. And it's just fucking, it's just sucks. Like when you put on weight, you really can't tell Joe.

You can't tell, you can see, you can tell when you lose weight, like you've lost weight, but it's not like, I was shredded, thin, my face. And when I put on weight, you can can tell I just become bloated and fat and and it sucks you know but you've never you've kind of been the same Joe to Rosa everybody's known your body type doesn't blow up the way mind does right you can get a little fat but it's not that noticeable. You know, with me, dude, you notice it. You know fat, Bob, and skinny, Bob.

That's a sucks. Why don't you go to a new church? Did my mom is fat and she went to a new church? I know. Yes, all right. Ha ha ha ha ha. Can you just be me? I'm not out of it.

I'm not out of it. Dude, I know. We talked about this before. All, every mom is fat. Everybody's mom is fat. My mom's fat too. I walked in on my mom. Oh, I was fucking awful. I was we were up country and I went into the, our bags were in her room that she was staying in and I walked in and she, you know, she was in her underwear and bra or something and put in whipping up pantyhose. I almost threw up.

I was just like, my roly, poly mom. Just trying to fucking bend over and rip pantyhose up to keep everything intact. My mom used to be hot, dude. My mom was smoking. Yes, my mom was an attractive woman as well. No, my mom was hot. Yeah, well, Bob, I choose not to phrase it that way, because it's fucking weird.

All right, when you say my mom was hot, it just sounds weird. Hang on one second, my wife just yapped right over you, Joe. Sorry. Would you say, babe? Really? My my my mom was offered to be a vote model. Top that. You didn't know that about your mom, but Dawn did? Yeah. Why didn't you know that?

Why didn't I know that? I don't know. Is this not true, maybe? No, it's absolutely true. My mom talks to my mom more than I do. You didn't, you never knew that? No. No, I never knew that,

but I don't talk to my mom about that shit. It's my mother. It's my mother. It's weird to open up an asker about her life. It's my mother. You know what I'm saying when I say that? My mother. Yeah, I don't get what that mean.

What do you do? My mom. Yeah, that's my mom. Yeah, I I get I don't understand what you mean by that. My mom Joe my mom So you don't talk to her. No, I you you maybe you talk to your mom No, emphasize it and then I'll understand. It's my real mom. Oh, I just almost cried. I'm sorry Joe. Don't even get it. It's funny. Don't just want all know. My my fake mom. You mean, we we talking because we're like more like buddies and roommates than then mother and stuff yeah of course yeah well she uh before we get to off the subject she went to a dietician and she dropped she just dropped 20 pounds dude and you know you know slow and steady

but it was like in a month she dropped like 20 pounds. And she, you know, she eats normally, dude. Like she doesn't eat, she still eats carbs and shit like that. She's the same way you are, though, dude. She just takes on the weight. When she cuts out carbs, she starts losing weight like crazy. And she has more energy and stuff. Like she's like very, I think if you went to a dietitian, you could get a diet, you got to shrink your stomach a little bit as the problem.

Well, I know how to do it, bro, and I'm on the path. I know how to do it. And look, it's two weeks. I gave myself the two weeks till the end of vacation to fucking eat whatever I wanted because I was quit and smoking. Because I don't want I quit smoking because I had to I was done and I didn't want to be 50 and quit and smoking. I didn't want to I didn't want to be that guy. So that's a fucking rap and the money I can't believe the money smoking in New York City. It's 15 dollars a pack. Yeah, now. So the money I'm going to save is almost ridiculous.

I have two cartons of cigarettes here that I'm gonna sell Get rid of those fucking things and that's pretty wild to they're right behind I have a carton of two cartons of cigarettes and I haven't smoked one But I gave my anyways, I'm getting fucking sidetracked. I gave myself the two weeks. I ate like shit Whatever I wanted to oh my god that I eat you today. I ate like shit, whatever I wanted to. Oh my God, did I eat you? Did I fucking eat? And you don't even know what I fucking plowed down my fat face. But I'm back. What did you eat? What was the worst thing you ate? I had, I went to the Keller House in the Hampshire and they call it a four five. And it's a four to five scoops ice cream. five and it's four to five scoops ice cream.

Cheese and a crust and like a boat bucket. And then you add your own toppings. What did you get? I got cookies and cream, but it's dyed blue, all homemade ice cream, by the way. Vanilla and mint chocolate chip. But you know, cookie monster, cookies and cream. Man, he's fucking this. Tuckin' it.

Right. Tuckin' it. You're fake. And it's dyed blue just for the look. He's not. It does. It's dyed blue, but it's the best ice cream ever. But then you walk over to this buffet of marshmallow

and whipped cream and hot fudge and jimmies and you put whatever you want on it as much as you want and believe me I did. I'll Twitter picture of it later what I ate and I ate the whole my brother sitting there too my big my little brother who's bigger than me now you know he's got fucking gorilla mitts and pup I forums because he actually works for a living. He got a three scoop and he was like, he's like, dude, there's no way you're gonna finish it.

And I looked over at dawn, I go, don, will you talk to this kid? Fuckin' dude, I willed that shit down and then ate some of his and I had a bite of don's. Jesus Christ. Dude, I know, I'm a fatty dude. I am what I am the I am essentially If someone said to me, okay, here you go

You're gonna give you a show for the next 10 years about eating And you're gonna go around the world and you're just gonna eat and try not shit food not bizarre shit You're gonna eat at the best awesome plan eat. I'd fucking I'd fucking I'd be a wrap Joe. I'd be a fatso I'd be a fat guy. You understand that I'd be like Joe. I'm done. I'd be fat. I wouldn't smoke I was still wouldn't smoke, but I'd just be a fatty. I'd eat whatever I wanted to But Bob do you do you understand you're gonna say I know, but do you really know, before you'd say I know, it's psychological, dude. So much this is psychological.

There's no way after you ate all that ice cream, you were still hungry for more. Your brain is just telling you the activity has ended. Keep the activity going. That's all that is, dude. So it's like, if you can just whip your fucking brain into something to go in. Yeah, I know what it was. I know. I didn't need the fucking four or five. I could have got the one too. Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. I know.

But that's that's the battle. So you put the battle on perspective and it gives you hope, I'm saying. Look, what it is is it's my way of rewarding myself for being bad Hey, do you get the fuck? Get out of there my dog just tried to fucking drink my drink Fucking cocksucker It's my way of I reward myself for bad things and good things. That's how I feel good in life When I feel bad or when it's not enough when the excitement isn't enough, or it's boring or life is whatever, or something good happens or I had fun,

or something bad happens and I feel like shit, I reward myself whether it be with sex or food or drugs or whatever the fuck it was. It's just the way I learn how to do shit. Okay, so now I have to, when I said to you before, going back a long time to feel pain, to sacrifice, I have to sit in my pain. Now I'm not saying I have to sit when I said to you before, going back a long time to feel pain, to sacrifice, I have to sit in my pain. Not much saying I have to sit there all day,

like it was painful for me not to get a slice of pizza. I had a call dawn and reach out and be like, I want a slice so fucking bad, I know I can't have it. It's just like, just come home, we're gonna have a salad and I got home and I fucked me and I got, and then it went away. But for that 10 minutes, 15 minutes of walking home, I felt just bad and it could physically feel the pain of not rewarding

myself and not eating that pizza that would make me feel good for that five minutes or 10 minutes of like, oh God, what a of the cheese and the sweet sauce with the crust and then you bite into the crust and there's a little bit of sauce on the edge of it with a little bit of cheese and it's the perfect cron of crunches in your mouth and then you look down and there's another slice waiting for you and you fold that slice and the oils dribbles out the front lip of the pizza onto the fucking wax paper. And you wipe the top of the pizza, the bottom dry part of the dough on that oil. And then you take that bite and on you pull it, oh my god.

And that. So I mean, yeah, yeah, you, I think you need to go talk to somebody. Well, I'm talking to you now. You're fucking What are you sending me away for? I'm not sending you away. I'm your friend. I'm here for you Whatever you need, but I think you need to go someplace more than you I think like a way Like a sub sort of a shock thing to your brain. You mean like I will redefine the way you look at these things dude. You just describe pe... I was my dick was tingling the way you were talking. I'm not joking. It's not like I was listening to phone sex. Ah shit. You know, why don't you eat that healthy pizza

that you were ordering? Yeah, that was good. I know. I can eat that. pizza that you were ordering. Yeah, yeah, that was good. I know I can eat that. I'm like, look, here's the fucking facts. I'm back. I'm gonna fucking lose weight. I'm back. I'm gonna lose weight. I'm gonna take care of myself. You know, I'm trying to have a baby. I'm trying to fucking, you know, I'm trying to,

you know, I'm trying to go to the next level. You know, it's such a fucking, you know, it's such a, you know, it's such a fucking, you know, it's such a, you know, it's what we're doing right now like with all the secret project and the book and it's like we're doing all this work And you know, it's like you have to do this in this same thing with food and quit and smoking and Physically taking care of yourself or spiritually taking care of yourself. Whatever that means to you or spiritually taking care of yourself, whatever that means to you. It takes time and it's in the shadows and nobody knows about it. It's not glamorous.

You get little accolades here and there. And then all of a sudden you start to look good and that's when people, oh, you look great. And then it becomes this big reveal. And that would fuck you up. Is that reveal? Is now the sudden you're this guy You're thin again, and it's like

You know what you look great, and it's like fuck and you know, I got to be careful man. I got to be careful That's gonna be careful. I mean I have to take away all the things that are that are bad for me I can't do and I'm 40 and I can't do it. I can't use drugs. I can't drink I can't smoke weed. I can't fucking eat over I can't drink. I can't smoke weed. I can't fucking eat over I can't eat crazy to make me feel good as a drug sex and porn and Electronics and buying things. I mean, I'm an addict. It's genetic. It's genetics. Genetic. I was gonna say genetical I know I wasn't gonna say anything Wow, you know, you're in a spot right now. And you're the same way, Joe. Yeah.

You just, you haven't hit bottom on these things yet. Yeah, no, it's, yeah, I do the same shit with all the stuff I do. And you know, it's tough. It's tough. I could be even healthier than I'm eating out here, but I'm sitting there going, I got a fucking drive here and I got to do this.

And so I'm just giving in to every impulse and just eating whatever I want. To survive psychologically. Yeah, you know, get a bag of fucking cupcakes for the car and you fucking chompin' those and you're eating potato chips. I had dip and chips in the car the other night chompin' those and you're eating potato chips. I had dip and chips in the car the other night, like I was fucking animal.

What, you're like at a party doing 65 down a highway? Yeah, a little can of dip. What are you gonna, you had your little cocktail party? Yeah, it was disgusting. The fact, the fattest thing I've done so far in the road is yesterday went to the drive, the RV's drive through. Yeah. And I got two roast beef sandwiches,

and I got a meal plus an extra roast beef sandwich. And I was driving and eating the one. I was swerving all over the fucking road. I'm looking to kill myself, trying to eat a fucking RV sandwich. I didn't eat the second one, but I shoved it down into like the door You know where that you that like little Plastic panel pocket on the door where you put like your cups and magazines and shit

I shoved it in there and and it just sat there for like four hours while I was at this venue And I came out I ate it on my way home. Oh my god. Oh God. Oh God. It was all soggy. Oh God. Yeah it was disgusting man. Oh God. God. It's a sad fucking thing man. It's sad. It's sad. You know that's the one thing. One thing I learned this weekend, is that first of all, family overrated. All right, family is overrated. They, family gets used to you, they don't care about you, and they just care about themselves, okay?

That's why people go and get married and start their own family, because that's your family. That's who cares about you. Your family, it's overrated. That family you see on TV, go fuck yourself, doesn't exist, doesn't exist in my world at least. Maybe, and you know what I realized too,

is that white people love lakes. Black people aren't fan of lakes. No. They're not lake people. No, they like the beach. Yeah, they'll do the beach. They'll do the city life. They'll do Vegas, but they they're not lake people. I would, you know, my I was up there in the Hampshire and it's it's white. And then not because it's racist. It's just the woods and lakes is a white, a white, the whitest person in the world place. That's where white people go to vacation. And I'm not talking to people from New Hampshire

that live up to a year round. Okay, we get those people to white red necks, whatever the fuck they are. I'm talking to vacationers. They're white people, white guys, they all have the same stupid gray hair and the dumb hat with a like some company that they worked for gave them a hat and they wear that hat right that they've been wearing for years and the khaki shorts and the flip flops

and the fucking golf switch shirt and their dumb sons with their fucking haircuts and their stupid fucking friends and their dumb girlfriends and white, white, and you know, sobs, they own sobs. Those fucking people. Right. And they have kayaks and boats and fucking tubing and fuck them.

What was the thing though? It went off on a site. Was that the whole thing? I thought you were getting at a point about something. I don't know, I just thought I, I just started hating white people for a second. You, well, but you were saying something right before that about, um, for a second. You were saying something right before that about, uh, boy, uh, for Chris. It's never mind.

I think I was talking, I don't know what the fuck you were talking about eating food, right? And I was, I don't know what the fuck I was doing. You were talking about eating food lonely lonely on the road. And yeah, the family's overrated, but I said for those people, okay, there we go. Yeah, well, basically the family, you know, those families, but their's overrated, what I said, except for those people. Okay, there we go. Well, basically the family, you know, those families, but their family's overrated too. You think those fucking kids like them and all that bullshit, families just,

are three days, that's what you can spend with your family. Three days and then get the fuck out. Now I grew up with around like families like that, where everything was so picture perfect and whatever. But I gotta say dude, I run into those kids now and I'm like, man, you know, as much as I envy it when I was a kid that their family didn't scream at each other and didn't fight

and everybody got along and their house was bigger or nicer or more cars or whatever the fuck it was. I look at it now and I'm like, man, I don't envy it, dude. I don't envy that I didn't grow up like that. I grew up in a challenging environment, but it was better, man. It was like, I feel a real fucking tie to my parents, you know? Right, well, I'd love to be born into money.

I'd love my father to fucking leave me, oh, you know, a thousand acres of land somewhere. You know, that I could, I'm so rich, I could donate to a forest service. You know, I don't know. I wouldn't mind the fucking cash. I wouldn't mind the fucking boats and the fucking lake houses. And, you know, but you wouldn't be who you are

That's my corner. Yeah, I wouldn't be a fatso addict fucking loser Crying in his pillow every fucking night because he's fucking can't not walk by a pizza place in his Course you wouldn't be a comic. Yeah, good I wouldn't have to fucking deal with Twitter and a bunch of fuck be funny on Twitter be more funny Fuck you fucking I'm funny on Twitter. Be more funny. Fuck you, fucking. If you're funny on Twitter, you're a fucking loser. You're a fucking idiot. I, Jesus Christ.

You heard me. All right. I take great comfort in the fact that I know I can drop out of this at any time and go pursue that life. I really do. I think about that all the time. Yeah, but you can't.

What are you gonna do? Sure I can. What are you gonna do sure? I can't what are you gonna do? I did I got a college degree and I did something really weird and interesting for Many years I could drop out and go get a job in an office What is it? What are you doing? What are you doing? Fucking offices. What'd you do? We are interesting? Did I could go be a fucking editor? I could go be a video editor in a little production house that shoots like instructional trucking company videos

and shit like that. I got some shit. You know what's sad about me, dude? I, that you actually have thought this through. I have no plan B in my head. And you've actually thought about working at a little, a little video production place, cute little town and hey, the Dunkin' Donut says, I didn't even Dunkin' Donut videos.

If you get robbed, you want to look at the guy, make sure you measure him from behind if you can. But don't put your safety, don't put your safety at risk. Fuckin', Joe, Jesus. I'm not gonna do it, I just get comfort in it. It's like when somebody says they have, I've heard people say before they feel comforted by knowing that suicide is an option. That's the way, that's the way I feel about that. I feel like the fact that I could go work at a blockbuster makes me feel okay. Well, here's a deal. You can't work at blockbuster because they're gone. I'm working that little candy shop to just open it in our neighborhood. How great is that? I love the fucking work there. Dude, they got the coolest fucking candy.

That place, I was actually mad when I went in there that I wasn't still a kid. I was like, where the fuck was this place when I was a kid? They had every candy in that store that I used to only be able to find out like weird flea markets. Right, yeah, they got a fucking bunch of shit but house

house that is it that the video store had to turn to a candy store video store i thought it was sad until i saw that they kept candy cigarettes do i've been seen fucking bubblegum cigarettes since i was ten years old when i talk about cigarettes please jesus i can't do the candy all the cigarettes and you're fucking mixing them. Fucking asshole. I gotta, listen buddy, I got a phone. All right, listen, we gotta go,

but can we do something real quick before we hang up here? Yeah, yeah. We got a lot of fucking, to be honest, dude, we got a lot of donations. And I wanna go through all the names real quick, okay? So, you know, we're basically, you know, on the site people donate and you know all these donations that we got You guys thank you because it you know It helps us with you know going live and the all the stuff we get by to make the sound better

Well to make it, you know to be able to do this podcast more and keep doing it, you know We're on the road or whatever like we're doing now this podcast more and keep doing it, you know, we're on the road or whatever, like we're doing now, this podcast right now, Joe's fucking on the road. And I'm at my house. So we're trying to get these out to you every week. And they'll always be free. You don't have to fucking pay for a thing. But the donations are the shit.

And we definitely appreciate you guys. And there's some guys guys some people have donated twice That's awesome. Yeah, that's really fucking great, but I'm gonna read through these names real quick Anthony Edelbrock Fabian Martin Brenton Com mox If I fuck up your name fuck you for being not American

Fuck you for being not American. I don't know if I call him, OXS. I had the Graves, Brian Crancinski. Cranc, Crasc, Crasc, and Crascinski. Crascinski. Shit, I should definitely have you do this, Joe. Just stupid, stupid. I apologize, Brian Crascinski. Never read through anything real quick in your life.

I knew Brain Anthony, Zinski never read through anything real quick Bring Anthony Hello Brock Anthony donated twice man Anthony thank you absolutely Anthony. Thank you very much brother Eugene You're so you satami That mean he must be Japanese you satami Bob peck tell Tell litus Satami Bob Peck Tell. You're tell? Littis. Jesus Christ.

Bummy! Bobby P! Bobby P! Is it Patel? No, it's P-E-C-T-E-I-L-I-D-I-S. Peck Telledis. Pactelidus. Pactelidus. Milan, Tomazovic. Are you joking?

He's waiting for you. Dude, can I please just send this to you? And you can't read it. Yeah, please. Shit. Send it. I'll send it, Joe. Is that everybody?

No, we gotta keep going. Where were we? All right, said it. No, let me pick it up. Send it now. No, because it's gonna take too long. It's gonna take too long. These names are crazy.

Do you want me to send them to you? All right, I'll send it to you, all right? I'm gonna send you a mail. Can you get your email right now? Yeah. All right, we're gonna have this one with it. We're gonna have Joe read these. God dammit, I'm a fucking moron

Yeah, I don't think you're moron that last word. I don't even know what the fuck you I don't know either. All right, you got the email, dude So here we go While Joe's waiting for the email. I'm going to thank all you people Really we really appreciate the donations. They do help out. We bought a nice mixing board today because of you guys. And the show is actually going live, which is a monthly, there's actually two monthly fees that go in to keep in the show up, which run over 100 bucks, 150 bucks, actually, even more than that.

I don't know the fucking thing. Like I said, if you don't want to donate, don't fucking donate. If you do, unfuck unbelievable you guys are gonna be getting I believe it's Heather Brenton Fabian in Anthony are gonna be getting my CD Robert Kelly live not available in stores and you'll be getting that in an email today so check that out and Joe did you get the email? Yeah, I got it. All right, so Joe's gonna read your names.

That's the one thing. If you donate $10, you get your name shout out. If you donate $20, you get the CD. And your name shout it out on the podcast. We'll do this once a month. We'll do this. We're not gonna do it every week. We'll do it once a month.

This is the first time we're doing it. So Joe, go through the list of people who donated to you. Know what, dude? Podcasts now. I'm gonna start where you left off, right? No, just go through it again. Okay, okay, yes, you're right. That is the fair thing to do.

Anthony Edelbrock, Fabian Martin, Brenton, Camo, Heather Graves, Brian Krasinski, Matthew Brain, Anthony Edelbrock, Eugene Yesatomi, Bob Peck, Peck-Deletus. I think it's how you say that one. That one's crazy. Milan Tomasevich, Greg Ciderella, Kenny Haruska, and Matthew Robbins. Thank you all for donating. There's more. Keep going. That's all I got here kid. Joe Trumbly Chris Christopher Brent Bender Adrian Saddam Kevin McLaughlin Karen

Waddo Wadduhwani Wadduh Wani Which is a guy actually I met him a really good guy and Robert Bloom You are the shit Robert Bloom Thank you and Anthony you are the shit for donating And Jake heard Iverson at the very bottom No he's my web guy who put the fucking paypal together, fuck him He says his donation is 67 cents Yeah, I can't

Anyways that was just a test to put it up. But guys, thank you very much. Joe. Thank the people. Yeah, absolutely guys. Thank you so much. It really does amazing. I'm looking at it now. Lot of money here donated. Thank you. Yeah. For helping us make this work in the best ways possible. Appreciate it. Yeah, this money will definitely go in to just keeping the podcast up and keeping the monthly fees up so that we don't have to fucking go poor doing it. But again, thank you. Joe, thanks for doing this, this test that turned into a podcast, which will be up on Monday, this coming up Monday. And hopefully we'll be doing this from now on, brother. It was awesome, buddy. Thanks for having me, man. All right, and I will talk to you later, Joe. You're on the road right now.

What are you doing? Oh, yeah. I'm in a tonight. I'm in Atlanta, Georgia at the Warren tomorrow. This is coming out Monday. So Monday, so Monday night, I will all be in Atlanta, Georgia at Sweetwater Brewery. Come through. It's going to be a good

show. And then I have dates the rest of that week in North and South Carolina. Check joderosacomedy.com for details. Joderosacomedy.com. Gloryholeradio.com for this podcast. And look out because me and Joe might be going fucking live right like we're doing now any night in the next month. So look out for that. and make sure you check out my new app is coming out. We redid it, made it simpler, better, fucking awesome. It's coming out very soon in the next couple of weeks.

If you bought it, fucking thank you. Thank you for purchasing it, but the new one is completely 100% fucking free. Oh, well, sorry. Yeah, you stepped on my fucking plug. I'm the most important part, Joe. The free part. Say it again, sorry.

No, I'm not gonna fucking say it again. What did you have to, what fucking shit gig did you forget the plug? I wanted to thank these guys. For what? Just finish your plug, Goddamn it. No, no, no, go, go. Thank them for what? My new album came out on Tuesday.

Yeah. It's called Return of the Sun of Depression Auction. It's at number six on the comedy chart on iTunes. And I do not doubt for a second that that has not, it doesn't have a lot to do with the listeners of this podcast. So thank you guys. Great, that's awesome.

Seriously, thank you. Well, that was more important than my app. It's not going to be over two weeks. So I didn't read a step. No, you know what? I know it's okay. That was actually more important. Go buy Joe's new CD,

keep donating to the podcast, but more importantly, keep telling people about the podcast. Spread the word. I can't believe we're fucking in the top 100, but we can't break the top 20. Go fuck, tell your friends to go and get on it. And on iTunes, and fucking subscribe. Get your friends to fucking get this cock-sucking podcast popular on iTunes. Let's go. Let's go people

There's your fucking marching orders tell people about this goddamn podcast, right Joe? right right God tell them all right. Goodbye. What what they just the worst. Why am I the worst? You just thanked everybody for donating and then you yelled at all of them. I didn't yell at them. It was a pep talk. It wasn't yelling. It was a pep talk. It was a fucking motivated, motivated pep talk. Come on people. Let's go. All right. All right. All right, buddy. Let's go. I'll talk to you later. Tommy, thank you for having me. Alright, thanks.

See ya. fought when you register. I, Tune News, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. If you're a real fan of the show and you want to show your support, go to GloryholeRadio.com slash Robert Kelly and hit the donate button. $10 will get you a shout out on the air. $20 will get you my first CD, Robert Kelly Live, not available in stores. If you have any questions, email me at Robert Kelly at BlurryholeRadio.com.