Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Soder's Fat Too

Episode Date: June 1, 2015

Robert is joined by Dan Soder, Joe List, Robbie Praw, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill. RiotCast.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Yor listening to Robert Kelly's? You know what, dude. On the RiotCast Network. RiotCast.com.

Welcome to the funniest podcast on the Planet Earth. This is going to be a cost of art. It's podcast. podcast, no rules. Look at the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said, should I regret it? Can I get a mic? No! What the fuck? That was trying to keep it like a comic head.

I have a bunch of eyes on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's 10 no talk. Exote directions. I love doing it. Way both sides of the coin. That's not what a host doing it. Side to the coin. That's how it all starts. You want a daily, my podcast is popular enough.

I might affect somebody's life. You never know. You do I would kill you. You know what you podcast on whitecast.com. We are fucking live. We're fucking live. We're fucking live. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking. How close would you fuck dead?

Some people do. Joe fucking right out of the gate taking a swing in this. Listen, you gotta come off the bed. You take a shot. Ready to begin the game. You gotta take a shot. You like to say a miss, but can you see everybody at home? Can you hear them? Yes. They might be all yucking it up. But my fucking dead. The only laugh you got on that was like a that you know yeah now it was actually this what do you say

huh they believe in what is the show start um we're here today scope out is uh... fucking frantically tweeting something right now uh... dude he's mad at you your sexy secretary is just the best he just made a sexy secretary face is like this yeah what is that the sassy my just made a sexy secretary face. He's like this. Mm-hmm. Yeah, why are you the sassy? I'm doing wrong. What do you what do you mad about you mad at me? Yeah, what do you mad at me about? It's the pizza is it the pizza talking to the microphone Robbie

But pizza what happened to the pizza? I brought pizza and I dropped it right before I came in And it was a little bit of a disaster Well, you know how you should have sold that is you were Is you were trying to be mean to Bobby. Like, like, look, Bobby at pizza. Yeah, that's that that was the bit like he was mean like he's I don't think it's I don't think it's funny. And I think it's appropriate. And go fuck yourself, man. You know, since you don't need this podcast anymore. I knew this podcast. I saw the

third mic on every show in the world. Where did that start? Yeah, right here. And you fucking better never forget it. And why am I here? Get it close with me right now, Dupu. Get me one. Get it, it was me! The Pac-Hours gone to your head.

You better never forget it. The power's gone to your head. Listen, I wanna know why, first of all, we're gonna introduce the guest in a second. I wanna know what right do you have? They're just making up things that I met at you right now. He made a sassy face. He's hiding behind the monitor.

He went like this. You hid behind the monitor and made a face in there? I had noice and make any face. What noise did you make? Mm-hmm. I don't know. And that's a face though. That was a face.

Is it a face? Here's why you bugged me. This is a face expression. I don't want anything else plugged in over here. He knows that. No, it's actually on top. Okay. He's a big expression. I, you know, we're not, I don't want anything I was plugged in over here. He knows that. No, it's actually on top. Okay. He's over here plugging people's phones in,

which I get, somebody says, hey, I need you. Okay, it's very nice of him. I want him to be nice to the guests. Absolutely accommodating. He's a great producer, produces books the show, produces it, everything's ready every week. He's fucking great at it. Now, I say, I plug it in over there, it doesn't work.

Did you turn it on? Nope. I actually did because the light was on. You motherfucker, you know. The light was on. You know what I'm saying. And I went and go and turn it all on and it went off. You know what I'm saying.

What am I saying? I don't know. That's it right there. The fucking D in dumb. Here's the thing. Robert, you love confrontation. You like being upset with people. True to ask.

That's because I'm from Scotland and I've scotted lineage. That's what Gavin said last week. All right. By the late, I'm from Scotland. We have to be, we have to have fucking, we have to fight our way to everything. Yeah, but then if he's from Scotland

Then he does he identify as a Scotsman or was he bringing up American issues too? No, no, I don't know That's not fair. I was just trying to be funny. Okay. I didn't know we were gonna get into it. He got serious So I got that Is that what you do? You get a fucking me remember P you chameleon All right, so anyways, so you and not done being mad at me I was never mad at you. Oh, so fucking Joe you were lying I wasn't lying. He made a face and made a noise and he's lying now. Maybe he's lying. I'm never mad at you I live with him. I know the real scopo. He does not like you see here. You don't like me He doesn't I really

More than I see Joe. What's I want to get Joe? First of all, I respect Joe way more than I respect you Oh, I've known Joe a way longer than I see Joe. I want to get Joe first of all I respect Joe way more than I respect you Oh, that's really does I've known I've known Joe a way longer than I've known you I mean that way it's quality not quality. I was on the show for two years before you got here. That's right That's not way longer. That's a long that's 66% longer. That's like fucking 50 episodes, bro 52 to you and me 50 episodes, bro. 52 to you and me. Yeah. Well, you're not taking that. We haven't even introduced the guest yet.

Howard Stern does it. Don't ever fucking question it. Where are your Robert Durst from? Gish, gish, gish, gish. Are you Robert Gish, gish? Robert, let's introduce the guest today. We are very, I'm very honored to have this man in the room. It's not often due I get to see him but I

should be around more often. I just have been on the road a lot. He is a very good friend of mine. I really like him a lot. Everybody give it up to Dan Soda for being back. No, I'm kidding. Robbie Pra is here. That was such a nice intro. I don't know where I kind of you, Robert. Thank you, buddy. And most of it's true. No, seriously, Robbie, I've known you for a long time now. Where I met you, where I know that I was like, okay, I like this guy.

I had an audition for Montreal. Again, you don't get it, you don't get it, you don't get it, and you're like, fuck, and then I had, literally probably my last straw audition, where I was like, I'm not doing this anymore because it fucking kills myself a steam. And I go up to the comedy, what the fuck is, what's the thing on the east side?

Comic strip live. Comic strip live comic strip life Luciens alive at this time and I go up there. I'm like okay. I have a spot ready to go robby actually requests to see me Which makes you feel a little better when actually the guy says I want to and I get up there and I'm on my spot Where my time was because I booked out the spots was taken by Gerald Kelly Black guy with green eyes green eyes, so I'm sitting there. I'm like frosty's up there with me I go frosty what the fuck I go I go so he goes get Lucian

Robert's supposed to be in this book Gerald Kelly is there a mistake Well, no, that's what Gerald is. I'm gonna put Robert first on the next show, which so that they get Robbie comes over and he looks at fucking Lucien and he looks at Gerald Carly's there and he looks at me and he pre-gose, I am here to see this person, Robert Kelly. I don't know who the fuck that is.

Yeah. Is that how I sound personally? No, that's how I made you sound talk. Yeah, you sounded like this I'm more racist. Yeah, yeah, I don't know what that is that even people He goes I don't know who that is he goes I, I'm here to see him. So he made Lucian take me, take him out and put me the fucking. That's respect. And now Lucian's dead.

Great job, Rob. He killed Lucian. He killed Lucian whole. And Robbie said, no to me that you're too. I'm moving you here. Like, did you get booked here? I did. You did the next show.

That was the era did in the nasty show. Who is on that year, that was. That was, I pulled the mark up a little bit. Help him, Dan. That was, year I did an assy show. Who was on that year, that was. That was, I pulled the mic up a little bit. Help him, Dan. That was, thank you. Louis, Niktapalong, David Tal, Greg Jorraldo. Jesus. Wait, Jim Jeffries and myself.

What the fuck? It was fucking dude. Everybody was murdering. And that was the year Louis really became, that's when Louis became Louis, because I remember Louis had an hour show at Club Soda that year. Yeah.

And we all came down to watch it. And he just fucking annihilated. Yeah. You know in Club Soda, where you stand on the stairs? Yeah. It was just packed. And we were just watching him do his fucking hour. And it was like, it was like,

you saw the fucking flip from the guy that did the ATM joke or the walking behind somebody joke and to this fucking monster. I mean, he was fucking just killing. It was one of the few times in my entire career that you saw that in real time. If you were there, you're like, oh, Louie's now.

Yeah, it's before I, it's before. oh, Louis now. Yeah. It's before. It was 2007 by the way. It's before Lucky Louis. It was after Lucky Louis. Right after Lucky Louis was canceled. And maybe a year or so before Louis became Louis show came out. I mean, yeah, that was like, well, there was like shameless. And then there was a year and a half then there was chewed up.

And that's when everything started rolling out. It was crazy. I think the half hour came before those. That was a 2000. That was the same time, I think. Yeah, but that wasn't as big as shameless. They're talking about 07 when he started doing the stuff about his daughter. Now, the half hour is the one we first.

That's what he talked about. That was the daughter punching her in the face and the hide and see. Getting the deer. Yeah, it was chewed up. That was, but the 05, that was the HBO half hours were Louis. But we can't, but you can't base it on any of that because

that probably was filmed and done and he was working on something Louis. But you can't, you can't base it on any of that because that probably was filmed and done and he was working on something new. It was in between, you know what I mean? It was what you really should base it on is after Lucky Louis in between Louis. That's at that point where Louis would come down and do spots and you'd be like, okay, cool. Everybody loved them and he had that fucking,

that's Louis CK and he's crazy. You never know what he's gonna say. But he was funny. I mean, I used to watch him and be like, oh, it was funny. and he's crazy. He never know what he's gonna say. But he was funny. I mean, I used to watch him. He'd be like, oh, it was funny. But he would come in and do the same shit because he was writing. I don't know if he was working on his fucking act

or whatever, but he would do the same jokes out of the cellar and he'd do all right. But then something, he just fucking went into another gear and just started writing material as what he is. Yeah, fuck. I remember up there, I was watching him. He was on that show. I mean, fucking Nick Topolo was hosting. Yeah, Jesus. I don up there, I was watching him. He was on that show.

I mean, fucking Nick Topolo was hosting. Yeah, Jesus. I don't think Greg was on that year. Greg was on. No, maybe Greg was, I think Greg hosted one year ago. You're right, I was there with Greg. Greg hosted a few months before he passed away. I was there with Greg Norton Rich Voss.

That's another year. In Patrice. I think it was. Cheese, that's still a fucking monster line. Yeah. It was fucking stupid. I was on some stupid nasty shows. Like you're walking out and I'm like, oh, believe it. Like you're backstage.

You're like, when did you go up? I went up. I usually went up. Where did I go up? I think you've done every spot. I think you've closed. I think you've opened it. I think that little. I think you've done everything. I think the, I mean, the craziest spot is that last spot, which I had last time I was there. But it's like, if everybody's good, it seems like it doesn't matter. You know what I mean? If everybody's killing it, like I did, I did the one with the, the midget dude, Brad Williams and Bridget Everett was on that year. And you know who the fuck in who I just have the utmost respect for is Jim,

what's his name from England? Jim Jeper. No, no. No, the Jimmy Car. Jimmy Car. Jimmy, dude, that fucking guy, I remember he had a follow, the Midget and Bridget. That's a, which should be a show on TV. Midget and the Bridget, just a big titted Viking bitch and a Midget. That's a, which should be a show on TV. Bridget and the Bridget, just a big titted Viking bitch and a

Midget. And he lives between her tits. He sells lemonade, nothing. All right, cool. Fucking you stone-faced me today, both of you. I'm talking about you. Not you. I had to put you in it.

Well, you're lollying us into it. It's not lollying, but like, we're here. You're telling me a story about a thing. I'm listening. I'm like, wow, that must be something. And you're making me want to get, you know, better. You're like, this guy's a beast. He's a beast. I'm like, I think. You definitely telling me a story about a thing. I'm listening. I'm like, I'm like, my that must be something and you're making me want to get you know better. You're like this guy's a piece. He's a beast. I'm like, I think

You definitely could do a nasty show, but listen, I've write some pretty clean material. Bob I'm kidding. Jesus. Jesus. I have money of dirty stuff and I love to send you a tape That's the fucking heaven him on On edge over here. I know it's weird to have you on it. For them Joe did. Let me talk about it. Joe's everyone here. I know it's weird to have you on it. For them, Joe did. Let me tell you. It's talking about it. Joe's everyone here. Just that Montreal. Yeah. Yeah. Joe, you've done Montreal twice. I did it twice. I did it twice. You've done it twice.

I'm Chris. That's Chris. You've never done it. And this is Deepu. He's never done it. I mean, of the comics. Are you comic? Yes. Well, then I feel like a jerk. Now, he's comic too. They're new guys, but they don't feel don't feel bad it's okay well i'll tell you who's bigger i'll tell you i i write a year ago i said to chris this one kelly was leaving and you know say that was jay go moza was just a pain in the ass to work with i said listen you want i'd love to bring you on the road maybe you have to get fun here

i can't honestly bring you on the fucking road and and fucking st i can't do that to the, I can't do that to the club. I can't do that to the crowd. Nope. I don't wanna fucking be phony and put some, I hate comics that bring fucking just shitty comics.

Right. That sort of brings Veter. Ah. Come on. That's a joke, he's gonna laugh. I'm not gonna laugh. You know what I'm gonna take an asshole. I was telling you, every fucking show I've taken him on since Uncle Vinnie's

the Boston, when I took him to Boston, he's been fucking killing it. I mean, he's- 1.0. I, we wrote material for him. Did you really? That's fucking good for you. I wrote a half hour on having a big ass. Yeah, well, he does good for eight years.

I walked around with a pillow on my shorts for fucking a month to get the feeling of it. He's gonna have a special called Big Ass joke. It's a Chris Rocksman. Yeah, we got it. Okay, well that would be a sure. That's what we laughed. Some of the people at home might not get it yet, jerk.

Then we stopped fucking saying that they're dumb at home. I care about the people. But then they're also smart when he comes out with his first joke. Yes, they're savvy. They're wonderful people. He plays them however much I want. Come see me at the stress factory on the 4th of July. That's gonna be a sold out fucking show.

Hey, would you quit poop-pooing? Would you quit deep-pooing my shows? Nobody's gonna go and fucking see comedy on the 4th of July in Jersey. Hey, if you do the Montreal Comedy Festival twice, one day you might be able to headline the stress factory on the 4th of July. Two times. Not one time. Two times. I've done it. How many times have I done it? Twenty-eight. A lot of times. Seventeen. time, two times. I've done it. How many times have I done it? 28 or 17.

I don't know a lot of times. It's my favorite festival. It's so fun. How fun is it? It's great. It's the only place that we can go. I've said this before that we can be a comic community. Well, we can go because we're all headliners

or we're all workin' shows and we can't see each other. I never see any of these people. And all these comics I don't know. You don't know if they're cool and all of a sudden you go up to Montreal and you're hanging out, you want to go on a lunch. Me and Andy, Kenler, I never fucking, I was like I'm never going to like this guy. I never went to the state industry. I heard him say, like P.U. would hear a second here and shit that he'd say about it and you're like, oh, that sounds mean. And then I'm at Montreal when you're at MedStarbucks,

and he's in front of me. And he turns around and goes, oh, hey, nicest guy I've ever met. Yeah. He's like, how you doing, man? He's super nice. And I was like, how are you doing? And we started talking, I bought him a coffee,

we walked back, I went to the state industry, he fucking trashed every, it was, I was like, this is fucking hilarious. Yeah. I laughed, like, I've never fucking laughed. It's great meeting the most random, like'm at tom sagura the last time i did right mantra on had no idea who he was and he's so fucking funny yeah and that now that because of on trawl like we hung out and had lunch yeah i was like

it's guys fucking great that i watch it stand up i was like it's guys awesome if you if you're a comic you go any show yeah except like the giant ones in the kicker like fucking don Rickles. Yeah, unless you can you'd have to hook it up and be like you know have to suck somebody's dick. Yeah. Hey, not that I haven't suck Robbie's dick to get to a shappelle gig. Wow. Well, we have shappelle coming back to see how many shows. We were going up at sex. We just we just announced six. Give Rickles. We had Rickles last year. Last year.

That was Martin was there. I love Rickles on Letterman. Oh, I really love Eric. Puckipsy Chris. And he's just like, you guys got Rickles again. There's got anybody who wants to brush belt.

I'm a big brush belt guy. Hey, did you see Rickles? You didn't see Rickles last year? No, I didn't. I didn't get a chance. I see, because I know everybody was trying to get in on that thing, and I didn't want to be the guy to get in on it, but then kind of get rejected. You know what I mean?

Like get pushed away. Like Norton just makes it by, and I just beg for the picture. Yeah. I really did want to see. But you know what I did do last year? I never did. I went to see people's hours. Yeah.

Which they have these great little venues that I did one year and you do a fucking hour in Montreal, which is fun. You think nobody's gonna show up, but all of a sudden it fills the fuck up. Yeah. And you do an hour, which usually up there, it's like 10, 15, 20 minute sets.

And you fucking just do your shit, and it's fun. I mean, I watch Ryan Hamilton set. I never got to see Ryan do an hour. Ever, because if we're doing shows together, 15 minutes. 15 minutes. See, a lot of shows when you're out working. I will go see some shows, hours and stuff like that.

I will go see people, yeah. But my favorite part is fucking, I mean, I hung out with Don My Rarer last time. I got lunch, me and Bob Marley went and did laundry together, just stupid shit that you'd never ever get to do. One of my favorite things was, when you were when I was up there, you burned Derosa, we were doing the cheat show.

Yep. And so I would finish the new faces and go run and catch you guys do the whole at that, uh, uh, caperate. Caperate. What's it called? I think it was a strip bar, right? It was a strip bar. Yeah, what's the other? Cap, a cafe Cleopatra. That's it, a I think it was a strip bar, right? Yeah, what's the, uh, uh,

Cafe Cleopatra. That's it. Cafe Cleopatra. And it was great because all the comics would be in one little huddle. Yeah. So you go out, get, get like two beers, and then you go stay in the corner

and watch you burn the Rosa. And you guys were all fucking murdering that it was awesome. Because it was almost like the opposite where you got to just see just a specific set about a specific topic. Yeah. And it was great to walk, walk up there. And then Ari show was

after us. You can stick around and watch. I mean, no, it happens to me a lot. And I just figured it out this year. I get allergies in the summer. You do the fucking and I would lose my voice every festival. Yeah. Because you go to that party. Yeah. And it's such the music and then the talk. And you wind up talking at a higher octave and you're using just your throat, I would lose my voice by the end and I lost my voice in that Irish chefier show and I really couldn't talk. I remember that.

It happened to me two years in a row and I finally, I would go to the party and then I sit in a lot by the elevators now and I have my own little party. Ooh. I started a pizza party last time. Stan Harris from Comedy Central. What a fun, it's like your own little stand-hope party. I'm telling you, we started, don't bring that up. I'm gonna be a good stand.

I wanna talk about that. But yeah, we, me and Han, we got, she ordered pizza on Comedy Central, a fucking credit card. We got a fucking fake doubt pizza. We got a veggie pizza to give to, you know, you got pizza, because we knew they were all gonna be coming out.

So we got the real good pizzas over by us. We put the fucking shit veggie pizza out. Hey, get pizza, grab a piece. Whatever you want, they open it up, it's veggie. They would all look at it like, ugh, but they're so hungry, they go, uh, fuck it. And they just start eating like a broccoli and a sparrangus. Just a piece of a wilted asparagus hanging on.

It was the funniest thing ever. But in the good people, we'd be like, oh, the fucking pepperoni. Yeah. Do you mind if I throw the fruit? Bruce, the fucking guy runs, we were like, no, no, no, no, he was gonna take the asparagus. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

the sausage over here. When you said elevator bank, yeah, automatically makes me think of Todd Glass, we're just to hide behind one of the pillars where the elevators were and whatever comic was waiting for. I remember his Anthony Jessel Nick was waiting to go upstairs and just behind the pillar of Todd Glass starts yelling, I don't give a fly and fuck!

I'm Anthony Jessel Nick! You could suck my dick! I don't give autographs for free! And then like Jessel Nick's looking around and this is Todd Glass and people are walking up. It was so fucking great. He did that two years ago, and Malini also. And he's just like, I'm literally in a conversation with Todd.

He hits the fucking deck. He like hits the ground and says, I'm John Malini. Yeah. That's what the top of his love is. It's so fucking good. It's so fucking fun. It's Todd Glass, one of the funniest fucking guys out there. 100%.

I mean, I mean, on and off. He did one of the coolest things I've ever seen. I saw him at the old comics on 14th and 8th and it was kind of a light crowd on a Thursday. And so he was doing this thing at the end of the show where he would, he like, there was a mic backstage. And he was like, thank you guys, seriously, thank you guys for coming out. You guys are the best than you walk behind the curtain and you grab the other mic and you go, what the fuck are you guys not promoting this thing? What the fuck do I got to do? It's fucking empty in there.

Then he'd hang it up, come out and be like, hey, you guys seriously. Thank you for coming out and going back behind the curtain, he goes, I mean, I'm a fucking draw. I'm talking, fucking glass. And then he comes back out and he's like, you guys, I'll be taking pictures later. Everyone is way down here.

He's like, this club's gonna last another fucking two months. It's like, do shit like that. And he was like, kind of right. Yeah. He fucking nailed it. But it was one of the fucking funny, and I was in the audience just watching, and I was like, this guy's fucking hilarious.

I was so bad the first time I met Todd was at, I met him two times, I met him at the, Beach's Madhouse in Vegas. You hear that? The Baton Middler movie. Now how you fucking ass face. Oh, well I love that movie. And Bett Midler.

That's beaches. In fact, I love Bettland. There's so much I'm middle in the road for 11 years. Straight. Wop-wop-wop-wop. They're laughing at home. They're beautiful when they land, but they are ugly when they miss. I guarantee people just shut the show off.

I bet one presenter computer just did this at work and this is a week from now. They can't just run back. I guarantee somebody just went, yeah, it's enough of that. I mean the people that stuck it out to the Todd Glass story. I had Bobby going. I like that story. That was a good story. It was reminiscent. I'm going to about tell another Todd Glass story that's not going to it was reminiscing I'm going to tell another dog last or this not going to be as good as I say land on well I feel bad because I was backstate this is okay beaches madhouse let me explain it's still going on by the way it's at the mgm now he has his own little theater

and basically he's he had it at the hard rock at the whatever fucking club that was whatever theater in the hard rock it was and he would on Saturday nights you'd fly in on a Thursday or a Wednesday for a 15-minute set on a Saturday. But he would load this theater up, he'd have a hooker table, stripper table, male stripper table. Yeah. He'd fucking fly in Paris, Hilton, and all the Britney Spears, all those TMZ stars, have them there. He'd have Batsorette parties, Bachelorette parties. Feel the place up with this fucking air-naarchy. He'd have a guy balancing a mo-ped,

a midgets everywhere. He'd have a fake, a titty contest to win fake tits. And these chicks would come up with just awful tits and good tits and just tits. And then they have a seven foot Russian gay sword swallower do this whole routine swallow a sword do a split get a fucking standing out and then they bring out a comic right so me and Steve Byrne with the only guys that could do it without bombing yeah I mean everybody

bomb that you name it they fucking bombed. And particles, huh? Don recalls. Fucking eight is dick. Wow. Ronnie Dangerfield. Fucking die. That's where he died. That's where he died that night. I don't feel so good. It so much. I don't know. I followed a lot. I mean too much. Who else can you do? That's it. Randy Savage, macho man. Yeah, I'm not gonna make it out of this one. Not today. Old Indian. Ferrari must flee like the coyote when the field's burned. That's all the same fucking. That's not, that's all I'm doing.

That's right. That's no, that's an asiling thing. That's right. So, um, so anyways, he, uh, he goes, and I'm in the backstage with him, and I didn't, I didn't realize I've done it a billion times I'm doing the same for I'm gonna go out and do this. I'm gonna fuck a stool Back in fucking still base. I love it. I love that you're like that's like that's like you you're gonna punch someone in the throat

You're like I'm gonna fight dirty. I'm gonna fuck a stool. I'm fucking a stool. I'm gonna bang it. I'm gonna fuck it I'm gonna lick it. I'm gonna treat it like it's a raft. I'm gonna treat it stool. I'm fucking a stool. I'm gonna bang it, I'm gonna fuck it, I'm gonna lick it. I'm gonna treat it, like it's a raft, I'm gonna treat it like it's a surfboard. I'm gonna fucking wear out, I'm doing a show, and then a comic went up after me, and he did a thing where he'd use his stool as a drinking cup, and Patrice goes, yo man, Bobby, just fuck that, don't drink out of that cup.

That's hilarious, that's great. So, I literally was man, Bobby, just fuck that. Don't you get out of that cup? That's hilarious. That's great. So I literally was like, dude, I was sitting back standing, he wasn't talking to me, he was just sitting there. And I didn't know he was fucking panicking about this gig. And I was just like, dude, you're fucking boring. He's like, I'm sorry. You know, talk like this. He's like, you just fucking boring.

Do you ever fucking even talk to me? He's like, you just fucking boring. You never fucking even talk to me. He's like, I didn't know. I was like, what the fuck? He was so fucking like, what the fuck, why are you saying this? You're not supposed to just be this. Why are you calling me, what the fuck? I don't even know you.

You know, Todd, and he went out and fucking ate his dick. And I didn't realize that it's that gig. He's sitting in the room with me. I'm fucking just walking around like I own the place because I've done this hellhole so many fucking times. I know, I'm gonna fuck a stool. He's actually going out there with some jokes. He's gonna try to tell jokes in front of these fucking savages.

And I've always felt bad about that. I really, I felt bad that I just called them boring. Just what a dick. One of the most... A young comic dick thing to say to somebody. You also said to one of the most exciting performers in comedy. You think he's a... What?

He just does shit. He's like, what the fuck? He said he's boring and I said he's one of the most exciting performers. One of the most exciting shows. What do you know what the fuck he's gonna do? That's true. I've never watched the same... I've watched Todd glass maybe five times. I've never seen the same set Yeah, he should call him and tell him this disapolige or a letter. I think a letter

Like a pen old cool. Yeah, it means something with a wax no hashtags But you know the line paper a non-line paper non-line Cell line paper. I have no idea what's going on with it. Paper market dirty paper. You got a lot you do line because if you do it non-light it'll come all it'll start smearing down. Even if you're a good writer. I got enough faith in you. I think you can go online perfect. Listed stamp over the top with your family. What do I write? I just write Togless sorry dearest Todd dearest Todd sorry for the for the rude Comment that's in your third paragraph you can bring up maybe you're going through a tough time I wasn't I know it was having a great time. I was getting my dick stuck my strippers were here

No, I know hey, what was I married no? Sometimes I'm sometimes no no, no, no, I was having good times playing the Wheel of Fortune slot machine. Yeah. That's the best slot machine. You need to play a progressive if you're going to play one. I read. So Robbie, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are trying to make you some money here. So you, how long have you been with Just For Life?

11 years. 11 fucking years. What did you do before it nothing I was a you know an assistant in Toronto right on TV shows not doing anything to it and now very insulting to all the assistance out there I mean Chris Scopo is right here I was literally just stocking fridges so that's wow Christos yeah that's what I was doing Chris talking for basically what I did before you got here can you you give me a water, Chris? Anyways, go ahead.

This is your water right here. That's my water. Fuck. And I've already soaked it. Oh, Joe, come on. Why don't I just lift the touch my lips? Get me a water, please. You like these lips.

I do love your lips. I don't like the Chris is trying to hard now. Just get the water, take your headphones off, dumb, dumb. What are you doing? This is Mouth into me. They're going to rename the Just for Last Festival, the Just for Dan Festival. Yeah, that's what I was mouthing And I'm gonna mantra all come to see what's a day. I'm gonna have a show at the soda club

Chris go for this made his best jokies ever made On the podcast One time you said the same thing Joe. Well that one was better than the last one have you Who who you most proud of bringing up to just Phil Afs? Gerald Kelly, I would say. As he ever been. He has been. He came, he was doing a thing years ago and I could like put this son.

Yes. I'm not making a separate. No, that's true. He did like up to, he did our urban show years ago with his son and his son goes out and did like seven minutes. And he does jokes about his dad. Yeah. You can tell him, written by his dad.

And then he goes up and he's like, I'm his dad. And then he's like, murders. Right. He's like, oh shit, he was just talking about him. That's yeah. That's exactly what happened. That was a good question. Yeah.

Well, I mean, look, I got nothing as Gerald Kelly. He was just, I think Lucian tried to fuck me Out of my spot and and Gerald he was kind of managing He was trying to finagle his guy in like like Robbie was gonna go Oh, Jerro Kelly, I thought I was whatever. Who cares good this guy. Oh, I didn't even think of the last name thing really No, I'm dumb really that I didn't think that of the last name thing. Preeley? No, I'm dumb. Really? I didn't think of that.

Why do you have your back to me, you think? I'm not gonna say real. Did you think of that, Joe? Gerald Kelly? Yes, of course. Put on some weight, huh? Yeah, am I? Sideways, you are.

Yeah? Oh, how bad. Yeah, you're pretty happy right now, huh? Yeah. Huh. Yeah, very happy. You've been fucking, you've been no-gimin' it, huh? No, I haven. Yeah, you're pretty happy right now, huh? Yeah. Huh. Yeah, very happy. You've been fucking, you've been no gym in it, huh? No, I have been gymming it.

That's what's a little upsetting about it. Have you been eating a lot? No, huh. How do I what's going on, dude? Turned frontways. Turn, oh, you know what? No, it's cool. Now, you're right, because I'm up to like fucking 230.

Are you really? Yeah. Yeah, I walk around like 210. And you're 20 pounds heavier. Yeah. And you go to the gym. Yeah. That's what getting a girlfriend does, man.

What do you do with the gym? I run usually a mile and a half and then I lift weights. No. Maybe it's a little. Lewis said I was looking a lot better than my shirt off yesterday. And Lewis is a fitness guru.

Is he really? No, but he looks good. I don't know. I don't like about it. I saw this little fucking barbecue. Oh, you got somebody had. Who threw that? Wayne Rada.

Really? Yeah. Oh, it was the Legion of Skanks barbecue, I thought. That was called? All right. Yeah. I texted Lewis and said thanks for the invite. He goes, oh, it wasn't mind.

Who's what? Okay, so it wasn't. Wayne Rada text me. Really? Yeah. Wayne was like, oh, I didn't get invited, Bobby. I didn't get it. You weren't, Wayne was like I didn't invite it Bobby. I didn't get you weren't there. No, I really I ate enough bringing up my weight gain. I do that. I didn't mean to do that. Um, I didn't get invited. I never get invited to these fucking.

Can you Queen stop whispering? I said I said you're fat. That's all I said. Just trying to hurt us feelings. I said you fact No, I said your fat. I didn't know what whispering Robbie. I was just no more whispering. You're on video Sorry about the camera right here watching you whisper and I'm sucking my gun and secure Just don't throw sideways frontways you look great. That looks great. Now hold your breath. Yeah sideways Don't do that your fucking please show this please show this back. Show this back, chest out, stomach in. Like that. Turn it, turn it. I got like 1950 Superman body.

You really do have a barrel chest. The original Superman chest. Watch out, slowest lane. Feels good. Do you have to walk around like this? Bob, I invited you a picnic one time. I don't know if you remember that. You're a picnic stink, Joe.

It's the worst fucking thing ever. Robbie, if you ever have a great comedy picnics in Central Park. If you can find it in the middle of Central Park. I, if you ever in town I have great comedy picnics in Central Park. If you can find it in the middle of Central Park. I buy a balloon so everyone can see it. What's the food for a pet? I've never heard of it. That's BIO.

That's me. So essentially you're just saying meet me at the park. Yes. And then we all get to his about 100 people. And then Rebecca Trent brought a whole tray of tacos and some sodas. That's bullshit. I showed up with fucking nuts, fruit, and waters, and these kids that he invited actually needed it.

Like, I had to give it, because that's how hungry they were from being in the sun, and having a fucking half a can of pickles. But this fucking douche brunette. I brought it. And the balloon, the balloon has a fucking foot. It's a string, so we have to, it's a foot. So it's literally a balloon just ball,

but it looks like somebody's baby's head. You can't even find I had to walk around the park five times Well, and then I had to do a grid like up and down up and down Are you not invited I was invited, but thank God I found it and I left fucking 20 minutes in yeah It was like and then they got good we have friends be Lewis. I started I started the frisbee Jason canner picked up a baby That didn't belong to us No, he didn't yeah, it was insane a deaf kid what? Oh, it was insane there was a deaf kid he came like wandering over and the other was like I'm sorry I'm sorry. He was like no whatever he's you know, he's

Hard well It'll make you guys you guys in your PC. That's what he sounded like Yeah, you know go go go. Yeah, it's death could That's what he sounded like It probably sound like that. They cannot they cannot they cannot they can talk but they cannot They don't get every one. It's like I've never heard it because they can't let them go It's very much loop for me know Of course, but it's not mentally retarded by I can't talk you could say retarded I said I said

I think you might have been retarded I want to go to the door that's that's how we're like to my friend I love to read you hear the difference to him he was a dumb dumb and this is coming from two pleasantly pumped gentlemen yeah I don't know if you're the pleasant though. He's pleasantly plump. You're just, you look great. You're not awkwardly fat. Skinny fat. Skinny fat.

But anyways, so he walked over and then Lewis gave him the balloon, which was my balloon, which I didn't appreciate. So he took the balloon and he starts tying it on the kid's hands. The mother's already weird about it. So I'm like, Lewis, you can't just touch a kid. You can't. And canter goes, canter's out. He was funny. He's like, no, you you just touch a kid you can't and canter goes canter that he was funny like now you can't touch a kid but we're gonna borrow him and he picked the kid up

i and the woman was like uh... it's like this crazy thing and the whole party was like what the fuck are you doing uh... somebody picked up my kid my baby at the park i would go to jail for murder but what literally go get us i would let him take the kid i'll quietly go find the biggest fucking branch,

I'd snap it off. So it would still be like green and alive, and I would beat his fucking skull in. But what if the kid, Wally was holding my kid, and as he slowly fell, I would grab my baby out, and then I'd snap it in his fucking head, watch you.

Cock sucker, fucking picking up somebody's kid. But what if the guy, that fucking aggravates me? What if the guy was bald, but we had a beard? I would fucking aggravate me that somebody touched somebody because it helpless fucking chick That's like that's like fucking rape for Christ sakes. Well, I mean let's that's rape He touched rape drive the name of the episode that's right right picnic right picnic is it a moment no like that you like it right that sounds like a death metal album it was right right go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go Oh, baby Lewis is good here. Yeah, I wanted Lewis here today. What he's your madam. No, I was supposed to have him here today, but I can't be around industry. I invited Joe no Joe has a standing invitation. Oh, yeah, you can come But we I wanted you because I wanted you to meet Lewis because Lewis has never done Montreal and I thought it would be an interesting

Fucking I think I'm seeing him tonight. Are you really? Maybe. Where? I have no idea. It's weird to see you. It's weird to see you. Where are you guys tonight? We're at the stand tonight.

Ah, that's a good one. I think a lot of these conditions should be at the stand. I'm not at the stand. It's such a hot club. You know, for a guy who does have that ability, the power that you have, to bring people into the festival, I think, you know, what people don't get is that your time comes when it comes and everybody who is funny

does get a shot eventually at Montreal. I don't think that's true. No, that's okay. But I mean, that sounded great. I wish that was the case. I think we're not accounting for it. You make like times mistakes also. For sure.

I mean, Dan Soder and Joe. No, but I wouldn't call them mistakes. I would call them. Did you guys do it the same year? No. We did. We were there the same year. I did new faces the year after you did new faces.

We're together. I stayed at your hotel. But sometimes, no, but seriously, like sometimes, I think you're very right. People get it and they get it later than they think they would get it. But if they got it earlier, they would have just been, like we have 40 new faces between, like, unrepped,

which you guys did, the regular new faces, we have a sketch new faces, out of 40 of them, what, eight to 10 maybe get like a pop or some back in the festival. We'll be back or do something else, right? No, no, a lot of people come back to the festival. I'm just saying, for the festival to really have an impact, but like for Dan, it had a real

impactful experience for you. We're two good examples. Yeah. You blew up, I got nothing. But I'm doing well now. Yeah. But I had fun. I blew you up, but go ahead.

But some people, listen, we didn't, we didn't book everything the right way all the time. I wish we did. Yeah, Bobby was hosted my show. I did. And you annihilated. That was a fun night. That was like one of the nicest things you ever said to me. What I say. We're outside smoking cigarettes and you go, you just fucking ruined five people's night because I went fifth out of 10.

I went fifth. He went up on the unwrap show. Yeah. And every fucking nervous, I feel bad for all these people because I've been there. Yeah. I know the Just the anxiety that you put you literally putting yourself through. Yeah, that doesn't and You went up fifth and just murdered just had this fucking I was like oh boy I was just like I don't want to be whoever's after him is going You know and it's all self-inflicting it doesn doesn't matter, but I just knew that you fucking,

you blew it out of the way. That was the night the guy, some manager. I was, you know, I don't fucking host. I don't fucking, and singer was like, I was like, yeah, I'll do it. I'll fucking, sure, I'll do it. Yeah, you're not great at hosting anything. So, I, I was gonna take the bandendit back for a while.

Yeah, because you realized that I had made the joke that you were going to add on. Your tag was my joke. You're like, yeah, even the podcast. Oh, fuck me. So I remember this manager, I was trying my best to say everybody's name, be as positive, and I didn't want to fucking go up there

and fucking ruin the knife for everybody. And I'm trying to, hey, you know, and this guy goes, can you make sure he says their names clearer, or something like, because I said somebody's name one time, and he wanted me to say it more than once. I like that they couldn't find out the person's name after. But I was like, I want to go up to him. Are you out of your fucking mind?

Yeah. You fucking idiot. Yeah. He's right there. Go fucking out. Yeah. I literally had to go. The guy took, like I was like, you know, like the guy walked up to me and said, that's me.

I go, tell him I will try to save the names. I wanted to go fuck you. Who had whatever shit manager? He wasn't even like a manager. He was some fucking. Yeah, and then years later he didn't invite you to his barbecue yesterday. Yeah. And they found the truth. Yeah, but I want to have a, let's go backwards for a moment.

Just I don't want to get too. All the way backwards to start this whole thing over What are you doing rubbing you fat now? Yeah, can you stop? I thought you were gonna say we could start it over so I wouldn't insult Dan and call him fat All right Robbie Robbie's touching Dan now. It's getting uncomfortable again. Here's my question What is that uncomfortable really was that beyond your comfort? Yeah, that's what is belly. I'm just touching his mouth. Yeah, that bothers me That's my friend's belly now if anybody touches it's me Robbie. I'm all good. You know, stop cock blocking. I'm a best. Yeah, no more belly touching Yeah, no more belly touching. You know touch you. You can touch me. You could touch Joe's belly I don't want to touch but Joe's belly. You can touch this is belly. It's like they're best. You don't fucking touch my Danny's belly

That's my belly. It's such a cute belly though. So much belly to touch. Good Joe. What were you saying? What does it mean to you and your friendship and your personality that Dan says, one of the nicest things that you've ever said to him and years of friendship is you just row in five people's nights. That's one of the nicest things you've ever said. It's not even nice, it's not even a compliment. It's about these other people.

It's very negative. I think that's wrong. I've said way nicer things to you. Yeah, that meant the most to me because I knew I did a good job Well, he what he would feel like you could be saying nicer things is what I'm saying I just call him fat twice. Oh, yes But what I meant was is that he did a great job. Well, you've poked fun at me as well And I don't really appreciate it and neither does Dan tell him I don't appreciate it all. Are you really sensitive now?

I'm a bigger person I Are you really sensitive now? I'm a bigger person. No, I'm overweight. I'm a little more sensitive. So yeah. I do remember that. That was a great night. I was like, this kid's on his way. It was a year before that you were on my show, right?

You had me on After Montreal on the podcast. No, I had you on before. Nope. You had me on after in the fall. No, because you worked with me before. I worked with you at Gotham and we worked together. We did SUNY Delphi. Delhi.

Delhi. Delhi. And then I came back and I did Gotham. Right. And then I did Montreal. Then you had me on a podcast. You weren't on with Jill before that. Nope.

So after Montreal you were still slinging guacamole. Yeah. For four months, five months. Whoa, wait, wait, wait. So yeah, Montreal and July and then I quit my job in December. What was dog sitting for you? It was my last day at the restaurant. What do you mean, fucking in my apartment?

Blowin' backs out in your bed. Oh. Wait a minute, is bed? Well, well, well. No, in his shower. A fucking shower. You can tell me now, did you fucking my bed? You can tell me now, I will knock it mad.

No, no, I don't think I think I'm trapped. I think I fucked around, but it's a think I think I fucked around but it's a trap He said he's Admiral Akbar He knows my tone. Yeah, I look up when I'm lying dude. I will not remember the remember the the The pole next to your bed wouldn't pole I had sex up against that was the close I got to your bed. Yeah. Wouldn't pull. I had sex up against that. It was the close I got to your bed. Oh, pull sex. Because I didn't want. I had a huge fear of you. That's not bothering you. Was your naked bum on my bed. I slept there. What would naked? Yeah. Who the fuck seems naked in somebody's bed? Someone

that's pretty comfortable. Someone that's really comfortable. And that just banged in your shower. And then it got a whole bed to himself. How great is my shower? It was the great shower. My new shower is even as good. Oh, okay, that's nice. This one was the best.

The five, the five, the three, collar. I put my pants at your house. I got a new bidet, better bidet. Oh man, but I would better bidet. What I made What I with the squatty potty. Oh the squatty potty is where it's at the squatty potty is fucking you know I am so happy that you got one because then it made it okay for me to get one because I told my Squatty potty I would like to talk more about it. I'd like to know One of the big pros here go ahead. I really want to talk more about it. I'd like to know. It is. What are the big pros here? Go ahead, go ahead.

I really want to hear about this. Quicker shits, cleaner shits, better shits. Wow. Why better shits? It's like a pro because your colon is straightened out by the squat, whereas where you sit, there puts a kink in your colon. How much do you cost?

It costs $19.99. What are you talking about? At Bestbot. That's what I was talking about. What are you talking about? At Bestbot. At Bebathamion. Where do you put it? So you put it around your toilet, right? Like around the base of your toilet and you put your feet up on it. So your feet probably go...

There should be directions though, because I fucked up a bunch of times. I pulled my pants down first and tried to put my feet up. Oh no. And I kept dragging it back underneath the toilet. You have to stand on it. Stand on it, pull your pants down, and then sit down. And it's fucking awesome. And it brings your knees up to your stomach, the way we're supposed to squat and shit, like almost like a dog would shit, how they kind of hunch their backs, and you're supposed to do the same thing. And when you sit like that, you actually bend your

intestines, so you know, it kind of cuts it off. But, but when you put your knees up it opens up You're in testinal track the way it's supposed to be so the shit further up can just fucking zoom out of your ass Your first log when you saw it and you're like whoa Is it like a stairmaster to write the buy one? Can I make do at home? Can I stack up books just buy it? Just buy it. It's 20 bucks. It's gonna have to be a Joe. We'll get it said permanently. It's permanently sitting there No, you I take it out and put it back on. It slides perfectly underneath. I'll go have these with you.

I'll go have these with you. I'll go get one. Wait, roommates. Yeah. You should definitely be in a home. I should have a home. I'll tell you this. It's fucked up the road for me because now I have to make

make shift squatting parties in my hotel. That's what he was just saying. I was talking about with the Bible. You stack up Bibles. I mean, I don't want to go on the board. I'll be good for something. You could use a hooker's back. I don't know why I do that either or just the metal trash can from the room. They have metal trash cans but you really

upgraded your career huh. I don't know the hotel I stayed at in Portland did this weekend so that's what I used. Two feet on the metal trash can and I had my knees high and tight. Can I just hold my knees up? I mean I'll do that. I'm pretty strong. I do a lot of yoga and I masturbate. I don't see how that. Do I'm fat now? No, you know, I was kidding. I was joking.

I probably give a touch. Am I? Go ahead, man. You can't. Thank you for asking. Thank you for asking, right? How bad is it? Oh, yeah, right.

Oh, it feels nice. Yeah. You know what to do? Do the set. Montreal 2016, baby. Welcome to the 2016 we should do starting hosted by Dan soda watch me eat the sandwich in touch Yes, the starting Ralphie May Robert Kelly and fresh on the new fat scene Dan soda

I'm like hey guys show what's up with sandwiches? That's all I talked about super fat Kelly for stuka my gosh I. I'm like, gosh, I think she went for a Kelly. And now it's down to your funny. You ever hear from Kelly? I don't. No, she's. Well, let me take that. I just imagine her sad playing a didgeridoo somewhere.

Whoa. She booby. Whoa. I wonder if she listens. I would imagine she used to. Cleaning her gun. I bet she's dead. Well, her gun. I think she said that. Well, here's the deal.

She wrote me, we talked about that on the show once that she didn't contact. And then all of a sudden, I got a really long letter. You know, Kelly's fucking others. Oh, God. It's just like nine paragraphs, well written, boring, shedrull. Well, you don't read any of them, though.

How do you know? Well, I read a couple of them. So I read the little pieces of that, and then she wrote me a shorter one because I wrote back, can you fucking sum this up for me? She wrote back a short version, which I read, which was very nice. But I know, I would blame me, it would be my fault. She's got her own podcast now and she did the festival and Wherever the fuck down Melbourne which is a Kelly with a Kelly for stuka. She used to be on the show a lot

Melvin Yeah, it's a month though. Yeah, I don't get those festivals I know what's the one in Scotland? Oh, I remember what is it fringe festival? No, I don't know. It's a festival Festival. A month. Is it JFL month? No, I mean, the main shows are that week, like last week of July, but yeah, we run shows for the... But we don't ask people to do a month run. Right. Yeah, that's a little long, but then you have to promote it yourself. If you don't get

sponsors, you're fucked. People go every year in Edinburgh and they standard is that you lose money. That's what I was saying. You know it's funny, I was going to do Edinburgh's here and I went through all that and it was very interesting that they were like, you have to invest a lot of money into the show if you want to be good. And the fact guys are killing it this year though. So far I'm hearing so.

It's all I do for an hour. Sorry. Yeah, and I just don't get that. I know that, oh, Janice went two years ago. Yeah, but yeah. You could do two weeks though. You can arrange it with a promoter there. He was miserable.

He was miserable. He cut his shirt and came home. He cut his shirt. He was three and out. miserable. And Kelly, I know that she was seven out of time. I guess Will so Vince, a pal who, I don't know if he's still out there. He was doing great. miserable. And Kelly, I know that she was seven out of time. I guess Will so Vince, a pal who I don't know if he's still out there, he was doing great.

Still there, yeah. Still, and we killing it in Australia. Yeah. You know, so I don't, I just don't get these. I mean, I guess it's a role to dice. Some people just go the fuck out. And well, I talked to like Michael Chey had sold out shows, but he told me that he had to invest in it

He was like, but he didn't do it. He did great. Somebody else did he didn't invest his own money Yeah, he did I thought he had sponsors you can get a sponsor But he said that there is I think a couple people told me well he told me that yeah, you're right I think what sponsors I think you're talking about sponsors. I think it's actually promoter promoter You he had promoter. So he didn't, you know, there's no way Michael Chase been putting his own money into a shell. They kind of made it sound like, like if I wanted to do the same thing the way he did.

You would, I'm talking Michael Chad. Yeah. Yeah. He did well. I was doing a show around here like six, eight months ago, and people from Scotland, they knew who he was. Yeah. They were like, oh yeah, we saw him, he was the only way.

Here's the thing. If you go to Scotland for a month though, and you train that. That's how Robbie. If you connect with that marketplace, after the first week you are selling your tickets, you're not losing a ton of money, and then you could go back and tour all of England.

So people like Bo Burnham did that, really successfully. Alex Edelman, young comic. Yeah, we know Alex. He was like auditioning for new faces, relatively new. He went there, won an award, people were coming to his shows, who's like auditioning for new faces. He's relatively new. He went there, won an award, people were coming to his shows, and now we can do dates around there.

So for some people, it works out. If you want to be a road, Patrice used to go out there, not necessarily to Edinburgh, but he used to go around. He used to go to England, because that marketplace, you can make a lot of money. I want to go to fucking England so bad. I'm going to Ireland. Can we do mine first? But he's going.

But I want to talk about wanting to go. But we should do the thing that's actually happening. Well, I want to go too. I want to. And I am. Yeah. So that's why we're going to go first. I'm not going to England, I'm going to United Kingdom.

Are you doing nothing at the end of July and Dublin? Yes, the compete's with you. Do you hate sauce? No, but I wasn't sure if you were going to go to the other country. Do you have any nerve and stress for hated yeah, so you're going all right You're going to Ireland. Well, let's not talk about it. I'm fucking talking about it now because your girlfriend made me Well, I'm big-bound wait what?

So different argument I forget the YouTube fucking car circus with you together. I forgot how hard you got to deal with Yeah, wonderful people. Uh, yeah. When are we going to talk about this shirt? Uh, my shirt? It's very pretentious. With the review.

You get a TV show and now you got little fucking goop these stripes on your shirt. It's just like a roadie for Johnny Cash. With the pockets with the fucking points on them. Yeah, he looked like an evil sheriff. The pockets look like sandwiches that have bites taken out of him. You do run on his, Oh, it's on it Okay, you look like you run a truck stop. That's the bomb band-and-and by the way It's it look like Merle Haggard over there

I hate that shirt. You don't fucking hate this shit. I do hate it. I love it It looks like a little stripedy loops on it. You look like you repair jukeboxes That's good. I laughed. I'm not going to go for Joe Listen, here's the deal. I have limited fucking amount of good. I laughed. I'm not a fucking... Listen, here's the deal. I have limited fucking amount of shirts I can wear that have some style. Do you understand? Hang on, fucking yapper. Okay?

They don't make sunset fucking shirts in my size. They don't make fucking whatever fucking... That shirt sticks, too. That's not like this shirt's okay. Go fuck yourself. This is a great Star Wars it's queen to the story. I know, but it's clearly a star Wars spoof of some sort. Yeah, they don't make that in my size You've been on a great shirt streak. This is why I'm disappointed what shirt did I like you had last one you had a you had a Like that, but it was like a green military looking shirt. It was kind of cargo-y.

Okay. And then the week before you had a shirt like that, but it was kind of flanely type thing. Well, that's one. Looks like you should have a fucking cowboy hat. Can I fucking bleed? I'll be honest. You want honesty?

Yeah. You want me to fucking tell you the truth? I gotta feel it. I know where this is going. All right. The fucking, the lady from the show that I was on, gave me all the shirts from the show that I was on yeah gave me all the shirts from the show that's great and then I ran now I kind of went through them so I went and tried to buy

a shirt oh Bobby oh Bobby all right so I bought this shirt because I got it was oh Bobby you thought you were doing what she did no you didn't if we can peel those looped-to-boops off it's gonna be a good shirt I bought a shirt just like this without the looped-to-loops.

I think without the... It looks like one of those fucking... It looks like one of those hostesses cupcakes. Yeah, you look like your... That's what it looks like. Yeah, you have ear buds hanging out, like earbud wires. A cupcake. Yes, it looks like that too.

What else does it look like? This is fun. This is the rest of the show, I think. Bobby's in tennis. He's had me a sat Saturday night, he goes, I was wearing a shirt like this. He goes, I'll give you a 200 bucks, you button five of those buttons.

I like the open short sleeve button shirts. I just don't like the zip boots. Well, after the show, I have an interview. I'm doing a thing for a Rick Chrome. They're doing a documentary or a Rick Chrome, you know, Rick Chrome. And I'm doing a thing for a Recreone to do in a documentary or a Recreone, you know, Recreone. And we're doing a documentary up here. So at 530, I have an interview I have to do. And I thought this shirt would be good for that interview. Yeah, we can get you a different

shirt by then. Yeah. This is a fine shirt. The shirt is black. It's thinning. What is the problem? As a shirt here, the little the whites, the white stripes. I don't think I here? The little the white the white stripes I don't think I don't think the buttons the buttons everything's good except for the little Bobby stripey thing They look like to stand nailed it look like little headphones Bobby. What are you wearing on your face Bobby? What Bobby what these guys know that we're talking about thank you us plus size fellows We need to talk right now.

Dan, if you don't think you're going to be fat someday, I can't wait. He's going to be skinny fat though. Here's the hit. No, it's not. No, you don't. Get the party down. I'm telling you right now, take it from a guy who's been sexy and fat, sexy and fat. Yeah. I know the mother fuckers. I can see it. I know who's going. He's now, he's going to be this kind of. That's where you're wrong. I think I'll tell you right now. I'm see it. I know who's gonna, he's gonna be this kind of, that's really wrong.

I think I'll tell you right now. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, he's gonna be fat of the soda. I'm gonna blow up. This son of a bitch, I guarantee, once he moves in with this chick, has some type of show thing going on where he works and then has time off

and then does the road, this little motherfucker, okay, because he doesn't cook, he doesn't how to fuck it. He's gonna blow up like a little fucking chunky- Like Louie body? Louie, yeah, Louie. Louie's not bad. Louie's not bad, have you seen the naked?

Done, yeah, have you? Yeah, but here's just gonna look weird. Done, here's just gonna- It pains me to say this, but Sotar's too talented to get fat. He's gonna have a team. Seamless order in. They're gonna have a get fat. He's gonna have a team seamless order in there He's gonna have a team around him

That makes sure he doesn't get fat. He's gonna be a fucking. He's gonna have like the rock has a little bit wrong He's gonna be a douche that wears fucking. I got a show shirts like that. I'm on TV now But he's gonna have a dumb team with a lawyer and an agent in the trainer that feeds him berries Style it so he'll be fit because he's talented You ever throw your body oil sweat on me This ravishing the grudges The the company will keep them fint. Fint?

All hail corporations. All hail big business. Fuckin' A. Well, what am I gonna work with? Where do we have a cigar together? Do you smoke cigars? You hurt my feelings. I have one.

I have one tonight. You want to smoke tonight? Every time I see it, I go, I smoke, you smoke, we're gonna have a scout. You go, what are you making? You make my fucking eye hurt. How's that? Well, you know that? That's good. That's a good lyric. Here's the thing. I want to smoke tonight. I'll take you to

Soho, cigar bar. What time? Let's say I have a spot at 839. Let's say 10 o'clock. What? I gotclock. What? I got spots. Where? I got New York comedy club, and I'm running my half hour special ladies in gentlemen at the New York comedy club.

Yeah, I'm going to. It's preparing for June 10th in Boston. Get your tickets now. I'm going to plug all that. Can we move on? Well, whatever. We're about, listen, buddy, we're in the business of selling tickets.

Yeah. Yeah. Dan and I still have a shot over here for God's sake. Why are you doing a show with who are you doing your show with? What show? Do you have a serious show coming out? Well, you know, it's Ben and Limbo. Okay, whatever. I hear about the show one more time, I'm going to take my own life.

I mean too! No, I think end of June. Why didn't you two do it? Why didn't you fucking two do it? Because we have a show right here. This one doesn't like big girls. You don't like big girls. Go around and skinniest bitches like Mark Norman.

Robert, I have a show that I'm on with Dan Soda. You want to know the name of this? Yes. It's called The You Know What Dude Podcast. I've been on it for 1100 years and it's got me 1,000 Twitter followers enough tapped out. I haven't gained another one since you want more Twitter followers. I love a couple. I'll do a periscope when we come back. Great. And I will make sure they follow you. Great. Okay. That's all you're gonna do. I'm not on periscope. You don't need to be. I am. And I will fucking make sure that what's your

Twitter name? At Jailless Comedy. At Jailless Comedy. Everybody listen to the show today. Everybody watching this video. Give me a listen to the show today everybody watching this video Give me a fucking close up everybody watching this video today You follow this guy over here go back to Joe just Joe That's guy Joe list comedy you see it right there on your screen. You're gonna get another thousand followers this week Also, if you like big that's it. We We're going to go to the computer.com comics. Follow at Dan Soder, hashtag big, beautiful corporate Dan, BBC, that BD David. I want to go. Go ahead. We're going to go to the chat room real quick. I want

to go to the deepwood chat and then to the Bobby chat. What do you got, Deepo? Uh, yeah, Patrick, my mic on. Patrick, what grade he says, I came to the broadcast late. Who's the young Jeff goblum from Jurassic Park? Good question I take it. He's a good looking guy. I heard he's got a monster P. I think he's like 30 or all these killing him got a wife bro. You're spec marriage Tabs got 33 says we're Joe and Dan series about writing scopos jokes And fatically no were Joe and Dan series about writing scopos jokes? No! Infatically no!

Do you wanna? Yeah, I'll take a couple. Christopher says, deep with tellbob to set up a YKWD fan day. What the fuck is that? Like a fan day where we go to a park and we have races and we have the blue. All right, here's the show. We'll set up a fan day in August at a park

and I will buy all the food. We'll do a barbecue. Right? We'll have all the people on the show come down and we'll have fans come down and we're all hang out. How's that? And we'll all hang a balloon in's that and we'll hang a balloon In the air so you can find the party. I know a guy

You want to do that tell him he asked them put it together. What's his name? What if he's a creep though dude, they're all creeps. He listened to my show your creep Rock creeps look at these fucking people look at them look at them listen as long as they have like big-bone comics Are you putting money in your mouth? Yeah, no, it's disgusting. It's a sky-buck holder. All right, what about your money, Bob? What else you got? Mookie Phillips says, Sodor is starting to get OP chest. What does that mean, bro? Tits, that means tits.

Yeah. Bitch anchor tits. You got bitch tits. I don't like these people criticizing our bodies. Tits, bro? You're a fake body. I got a great body. Tell you shared that. I do. Pull that up. Pull it down. I got a great body. Tell you shirt up. I do pull that up pull it down

I Think that looks all right Probably are you hard I'm not gonna stand up I wouldn't say it's good, but it's definitely not a trotus. Can you move his fucking dance? Your belly button is disturbing it looks like he had to slice it and make it after you were born. No, we've already covered this. This is past episode. It's fucking gross.

But I'm a different comic now. I'm big-bomb. It's disgusting. Your belly button, you should get fixed. Can I? Yes, you can have them make you a belly button. Is that better? That's a thing?

Yeah. I hope I'm gonna make it a thing. That's disgusting. Oh man, if the show, if like, let's say sex drugs and rock and roll really takes us. Yes. Can you buy me a burger? What sex drugs and rock and roll? That's so shabby.

It's so shabby. July 11th. 16th. July 16th on FF. You got a show? Yes. Bro, executive producer Dennis Leary from Rescue Me, bro. John Corbin.

John Corbett, bro. From Corbin. John Corbin, bro. From my big factory quetting. From my group, big factory quetting. Yeah, fucking Elizabeth Gillies. Elizabeth Gillies. From Victoria, from Corotian. Kelly McGillis, right, right. Elaine Hendrix.

Ooh, fucking. She's, she's, she's a pirate trap. Yes. Yes. And Johnny Ailes from Nutty Professor. Not only that, but appearances by Joan Jett, Dave Grohl. Yep, I'm going. Greg Dooley from the African Wigs.

The Dooley Brothers. No, it's not. Runnin' on empty. That's Jackson Brown. Anyways, I know about your show, you jerk. Do you know? Do you know? Do you know we know you know do you we're playing ju-60 you fucking cock sucks You're gonna fuck up. I have a special. What is it?

All right, what else you got fucking da poo? Someone is asking if Joe's taping a boss and we'll be free. Yes, of course it will be Yes, right list tickets to NYC doc, Blacklist NYC doc. Yes. D Stutter says is Sifah sounds coming on the show anytime. Siphah sounds. Who is that, my bad?

It's a DJ that was on hot 97. He does comedy. He hosted the seller. He hosted the seller the late show. Oh, I've seen that guy around. He's kind of what he got. Looks like he's going to fucking punch in the face. Yeah, but he's nice guy. Yeah, I'd love to have him on We should get him on

I go to Bobby chat real quick. What do we got first thing? All right? Willie fire five says vagina blood is the best blood to make cool it with it's my face, okay He's not invited to the cook Not gonna school it. Let's not fucking cut him out just yet Look go ahead, what else? That was the Bobby chat. So I'll read the next one you fucking ass hall. Mookie Phillips says, I love how Bobby knew the tit's reference.

I don't know what he's talking about. Oh, I don't like that. I laughed at it. A fat joke towards me. What else? Mookie Phillips says, Sodor might not have a father, but his body is paternalist fuck. Dad, that's a good one.

Dadbot, it's in now. Get with it. Oh my god. Look at that thing. Dude, it's dadbod. Your belly button looks like somebody drew it with a sharpie. Well, you're going to buy me a new one. I don't give a fuck. Listen, we're going to take a break and then we'll come back. We're ending exactly a five today because Dan has to go.

And I have the interview I have to do. So who are we doing the Macs? Hello, hello. Are we doing the mattress thing today? No, no, only Tweet and Amazon. Oh, so all right. So we'll be back and we're going to take a little quick. We're going to do a little piss because Joe has to pee, right?

It hasn't hit me yet, but I will. All right, so pee at this point, okay? I'll see you though you're fine and then I'm gonna do a little plugs for some people and We back you guys watching live. It's gonna take around five minutes. You guys listening On Monday. It's two seconds. So just hanging there dead and we're back What's up? How you guys doing? go back. What's up? How you guys doing? Make sure you go to riotcast.com and check out all the amazing shows that we give you on riotcast. We have 17 of the funniest shows out there. Davey Mac Sports program. We have Jim Florentine's mental midgets. My wife hates me. We have

Mad Scientist party hour. The Jersey jerks, the Bailey Bailey J show we have hammer fisting while you suck in bed. Nick the Apollo show my show Jesus the whole glory hole news or with Mandy stat Miller amazing amazing lineup amazing amazing shows and they're all for free that's's right, not one fucking dime, okay? So go to riotcast.com, I'll go to iTunes, we have our own channel, type in riotcast, you'll bring up every show that we have, and you can subscribe and review,

and let people know about it. The riotcast.com, join the fucking riot. Okay, and make sure you check out Boston Scally. I love the Scally caps. I love their clothes. They sent me some t-shirts. I actually bought a hat. I love it.

If you love the hats like I do, it's a great company, BostonScallyCompany.com. Go there, check it out. And also, if you guys, I wanna give a little shout out to streams of dreams. And also if you guys I want to give a little shout out to Streams of dreams fly shop there on in on Route 17 Out there in Jersey. It's an amazing fly shop. I went out there and got my rods

They have a wide selection of fly rods and flies and They have just a bunch of stacks about a really great what's that company pack What's that with the p pack Patagonia I bought a beautiful fly bag Patagonia fly bag out there and it was actually pretty cheap so go streams of dreams right on 17 In Paramus if you're a fly from fishermen go check them out Sorry, so we're gonna go back to the show right now but make sure you go to Amazon on our page and check out Gamefly on our page.

What's the link on, what's the Gamefly.com? Dude. Dude, go to Gamefly.com slash YKWD, right? And punch in the code word, dude, dude. And you guys get, what do they get? 15, they get a two weeks free, right? Two week free trial, 15, it's 15 days, two week free trial. And if you're gonna buy anything off Amazon,

which I buy everything off a fucking Amazon now, that thing I made from my kid that fountain, I went on Amazon, I bought all the shit right on Amazon. The stuff I couldn't get, I went to home, but most of shit just came right the next day. You brought them, huh? You built it? I built it from scratch.

God damn it. And then your rock garden. I built the rock garden too. I built that amazing rock garden. So nice at night to smoke cigars out there with the fire going. Yeah, beautiful. You know fire pit now too?

I have a fire pit not too big. Man is it in the ground or it's above? No, I'm not fucking crazy. I'm not a contractor. I just bought one from bedbath and beyond for 200 bucks. Yeah, yeah, but it's it's propane. You're gonna have fucking crazy. I'm not a contractor. I just bought one from Bed Bath and Beyond for $200. Yeah. Yeah. But it's, it's propane.

You're gonna have one next Sunday? Yeah, next Sunday. Yeah, we'll have one. I got a big surprise to it. The party, Joe, we having Ben and Jerry's is. Ben and Jerry? Ben and Jerry's is actually hosting the dessert hour. Sundays from Ben and Jerry's.

They have five different flavors. The lady's gonna be there making Sundays for dessert. Have my party. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I just like somebody's eye-sleeping. I'll see you guys. We're back at the show, right the fuck now. Bang. I'm in the right guest, I come. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! which is at my house and Ben and Jerry's is going to be hosting the dessert portion of the show, of the party, um,

a lady from Ben and Jerry's coming down and she's gonna be making Sundays for everybody. Five different flavors that I handpicked so you know they're gonna be rockin' What flavor is it, bro? Not talent, bro. Toppings too. I'm not even gonna be there. Yeah, too bad. Okay, cool. I'm not ruining it for be there. Too bad. Okay, cool. I'm not ruining it for these three. That's cool. Because when I get home, I'm going to go down to the bodega, the nice one.

And get fun in my side of the street. I'm about five different flavors of Ben and Jerry's. You know what I'm going to do? What does big girls do? Yeah. I'm going to smoke some weed. Yeah. I'm going to put on some sweatpants.

Uh-huh. Shirt. Or air conditioning all the way on cold E ice cold ice yeah, and then I'm I'm telling you are you fucking forgetting the most important part what is your movie involved? You just gonna start a wall. I just like to hear myself breathing All right watch a little game tonight Rangers Tampa bro. Bay Of course, bro

Anyways, yeah, I'm very excited about this party. I've been preparing the yard for weeks now And I built the rock garden with the fire pit and I've been preparing my excuse for a while I got it down to hit by a car or girlfriend's period. Um, are you filming the interview upstairs? Maybe we can have a cigar. When at the party? At the party. Dude, I have a 300 cigar humidor at my house. Wow.

When did you get that? I was at your house recently. I didn't see that. I showed you that. I remember that. I did. I brought you into the room and showed you. Yeah, I remember. It was really cool. You have sex on it on his humidor. He doesn't, he has a bang fat chicks. I do, I brought you into the room and showed you. Yeah, I remember it was really cool. And you have sex on his humidor?

He doesn't, he has a bang fat chicks. I do bang fat chicks, I love fat chicks. But portion it fat chicks. I don't like a big girl with little titties. Like me? Big chick small tits, we roll together. So anyways, yeah, it's gonna be a fucking good time. Ranger.

It's gonna be fun. Any celebrities there, anyone that can help out my career? Oh, you got Collins Big Get. Louis CK? What? Louis not coming. Anyways. Hey, speaking of Louis, let's talk about it.

You're a great dude. Picture, now fuck the show. Picture of Robert Kelly in Rolling Stone magazine know it love it what and it says Robert Kelly Robert Kelly is in rolling stone magazine this month I got it with me Dave Letterman is on the cover and speak of Dave Letterman I was on that show six Last year. Yeah, I did a set was on that show. Well, six, four last year.

Yeah, I did a set. David Letterman said it was the reason he wanted to hang it up. That was another one of those things where if no one lasts, you look like a fucking lunatic. David Letterman. Did you hear what he said? He goes, he's the reason he wanted to hang it up. He's like, well, this is the state of comedy.

That's funny. You said it because he announced his retirement before. I don't think he did, bro. What about David, do you company make it a rock album, huh? That's exciting. He did something more exciting than Robert Kelly. It did, um, there it is. Hey!

Says right here. Yeah. And I do mean it's under the headline, angrier, meaner, funnier. That's a caption says. And this is a Louis though. You talking to me, right? Robert Kelly and Louis CK.

Right there. Can I have that? Do you have that picture? Yeah, I'm not done reading it. It's still there. Is it? It's a picture of Robert. You can't buy another one. Let's get a shot of this in the Rochester airport.

Can we get a shot of this? You can't buy another one. You can't buy one that's in mint condition. This has been in my bag man banging around city to sitting in a city, lost, kind of like, you know, how we all are on the inside. That's Elaine Bennett, it's above them. That is, right there. Yeah.

And that's, that is Louis Secret. I think this season, the Louis was fucking really funny. I thought I watched your episode. And then that's all I watched. That's it? But I have to go back watching it. I've been on four episodes this year. Well, the Bobby's house is the one I watched. I like that because it was like oh this is Bobby's

House mm-hmm whose house Bobby's house I thought it's a stone road about it I fuck you look like David let him in once he's like I book Joe and I regretted it I was a day of doesn't book the show. Alright, so anyways, Robbie, we got, I want to talk about this, this year, you, now you took, just for laughs was not doing Toronto last year, correct? We did it last year. You did it last year? No, we did do it the last four years. But you took a year off.

We took a year off like this. Why is that? We were doing a smaller version of the Montreal Festival and now we do a festival there It's you buy a pass and then with your pass you get to pick all of this comedy for free Right it's very cool and you're doing it this year. I'm doing it this year that we haven't announced anybody So this is like the first one announcement. Yeah exclusive exclusive exclusive It's dropping exclusive exclusive exclusive Bobby Kelly is dropping Oh right now

Are you doing your podcast here? I do a wd up there. Yeah, I gotta get whoever's up there. I gotta find out the list of comics who are up there. You in three hockey players. That's all we were able to book for you. And we're gonna do a yk-dabby now. Scopus look how nervous he is right now.

He's like, good boy. Do I he is right now. He's like, do I get to and deep who's like, I mean, that's just the most racist. You can't that. That's what I said. Why? I'm listening. I wasn't fucking turn on me. Us plus size comics against it. You know what I'm saying? Can you make the announcement for us in a professional way that Robert Kelly would be in Toronto at the just for last. JFL 42. JFL 42. Can you make it for me? Robert Kelly. Yes for last 42 Toronto announces Robert Kelly in his podcast.

Do you know what, dude? Not be either, Deepo and Criscopo. J list of deaths of Carlos and everybody else affiliated with the YKW podcast in the United States. This is only a Canadian podcast. It's well not reflective in the United States version of the United States. You know what they're doing. There it is.

Got the ladder down at the end. Nailed it. Nailed it. And bringing his big girl show up to Ottawa just for last 43 Ottawa Dan Soder. No, we didn't announce that. That's the other other thing. That's next week, man. Robbie books the United States.

Can we not bury the lead of Kelly, kind of Toronto with the Ecclesiast, please. I'd be funny if Robbie just booked me like a motel and know the scotian sent me up there. It was like, alright, you forgot about it. I should do more prank bookings, right? You should. What do you mean you got in that ring? It was like five times a year, I just like, eat the money and I'm like, fuck it. Did you guys know about the Yukon version of this?

Hey, Joey, you going to Moosejaw with Gary Gowman? Moosejaw. I have three weeks in Moosejaw. To Moosejaw, the Moosejaw Fest. So, yes, I'm doing the podcast, but I'm also doing shows. So that's at the end of September, or October, and we announce tomorrow. If you're listening to this on a Monday

We announced that tomorrow. Yes, and if you don't follow follow them on Twitter and in Instagram and Facebook Because they always have a bunch of information that you You can so you do not abide tickets and follow all the comedians. They always repost stuff so you can Always get some good stuff from GFL and you know, I was very sad that Suzanne left too my friend my pal She's working on the Pan-Anne games. It's like a huge thing in Canada right now. She got a cool gig over there So fucking crazy. Yeah, I don't even know what the Pan-Anne games are Is it like the Olympics? Yes, is it like the The Pan-Anne though. Yeah, what is that Pan-Anneic games actually invite all the countries from america's

to compete so it's like an olympics but just for the american south america to be right ever so no i'm a rick absolutely was the america is that canada to write absolutely that's on the con it's in canada is it in canada other host that's a lot there are so only only a certain like south america central america Oh, is it in Canada? Yeah, well they're hosting. They're hosting. So only South America, Central America, America, or Canada can host it.

So there's only four places that can be hosted. Well, there's a lot of countries. There's a lot of countries. Sixth America and South America are made up of a lot of countries. Bolivia. So, the Karagua. Chile. Colombia.

Chile. Brazil. These are all places. These are all places. Colombia. Costa Rica, Arizona Mexico, Arizona is not a country. It should be. It could host the thing. We should give it up in a clear country because it's a god awful state. You know like Arizona. I got my diploma there and I can

Pretty confidently say fuck that place Fuck Arizona right in its fucking desert-y, sandy ass hole. I didn't see that coming today. I was expecting a lot today. I'm hard-lined now. I wasn't ready for anyone to turn the air. I'm bringing so much. I'm getting out of here.

This is bullshit. I'm bringing so much Arizona heat. Don't mind the pun. Oh my god. Up to Moose Jaw when you book me. Bro, I'm taking down Arizona. I'm taking gun laws down in Mrs. Zimba. Really, uh, they don't have gun laws in Mississippi and that's the problem then.

Thank you. All right. Oh, man. Just got a little political there. We got a little Canadian. Yeah. I like the Joe Soport is trying to actually take a name off the table. It's my name. Oh, is it? Oh, boy. So when does peace love and rock and roll come out? I'm excited to see it. You mother fucker. It's sex drugs and rock and roll.

Oh, I can't sign up on that. It comes out July 6th, you cocked fucks. Peace love and rock and roll on fucks. I gotta lose weight, man. Why? I'm gonna do one dude let's stay other than death why uh...

what are you gonna do are you gonna have to hot and full i went you know i go to lunch with Lenny Marcus that's a great for an album every twos day after therapy me and let me and let me do a half hour lunch yikes what's wrong with that we do it we do have how with this this Jewish deli uptown and we have the same old waitress except today The other waitress put me on her side and our waitress She's like fucking 87 was really hurt. She's like, why are you over here? I was like she put me over here

She's like, okay, she kind of moped away. I was trying to sad I didn't know what to do because I'm a people pleaser and I didn't want to go I sit over on her and you on Helen side and I just why are you a people pleaser? Because Alan why because you're being a pussy Stand up for yourself I can't why because I don't fucking want to you need to I don't need to I don't need to do shit You're in charge of your own Charging nothing. I know what Show me something I could picture in a wife

Ray Romano was Bobby Sterepist That's the big the table. I actually Ray came in the other night. Yeah, sir picture him. Yeah, scope on I was just talking about it And he comes in behind me. Oh, what did he do and he goes hey? Yeah? How you doing man? I go hey, what's up, Ray? How you doing? He goes, hey, man, you're really great on Louis. And I was like, thank you, bro. I really appreciate it. Yeah, really unbelievable.

I was like, cool, man, take care. Wow. And then I was like, he knows me. That's so cool. Everybody loves room. From my neighbor. Is he next town over, but we consider it. Oh, yeah, I was here on September 11th too.

I was part of the program. He was next. I watched him. He was doing a set. He came down, ate some fucking food, went was doing he was doing a set. I watched he was doing a set. He came down ate some fucking food went down did a fucking regular set Didn't do fucking 40 minutes, which he could have he did of like a 10 12 minutes set Fucking killed it and fucking came up had a little more food with his family with SD and took off

Very nice very professional and funny very funny very sweet a lot of times those like celebrity sitcom guys will go on stage And you're like oh, hey, but he's got bits. He's good. Well, he's a comic. He still do stand it Oh, fuck yeah, he just does it you know does For the main room it's like big casinos, yeah, right, but a lot of times those guys just have the hackiest bits because they're so removed And you're like come on with yeah, but he's got good stuff. Yeah, but well because they don't have the hackiest bits because they're so removed and you're like, come on, what? Yeah. But he's got good stuff. Yeah, but because they don't have the opportunity to go to the clubs every night, that's why. I mean, we forget that, I mean, we get to come down here all the time.

Even coming down here a couple of times a week and doing four or five shows a night on Friday and Saturday, you're still really working the muscle. And then you go on the road and you're doing an hour, we're still, you know, really working the muscle. You get 100 million in the bank, you don't need to work the muscle so much. You can stay home on a Friday and say, I mean, could you, you ever stay home on a Friday or Saturday night? We were just talking about it. Yeah, last night. It still goes oddly good. Hang on a second. I didn't do stand up for the first time in 19 days last night. Ooh, yeah. I was about to trash him, but he can't. I forget how much stand up he actually does.

It's hard to remember because, I don't know, sorry, I'm sorry. Go for the great comic. It's as if this is why you can't have fucking industry in the air. What the fuck did I just do? What the fuck did I do? What did I do?

You did nothing, but now if I try to zing a guy, I don't get fucking robbies, our friend, and he's fucking being funny. But I'm gonna feel guilty if I make a joke, but he is funny. I know, I know, I know, I know. Now I gotta call you after, be like, scuffle us, I gotta call you after me,

I hate his great, he's good. He fucking, he was touching, fucking his belly. I love having you here, I love you, but I feel guilty if I'm making a joke about someone be like, this thing. This thing, you will never do the festival Let's clear all this up you will never and he and people goes to talk goes hop You listen I I I Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, She goes to bed early. She goes to fucking bed in like 9.30. And I know you got a baby.

I know you were up, but I took a fucking Friday night off. I could have been at the club. I could have been down the doing spots. I could have been fucking. Making money. Oh, what happened? You little. I'm home.

Now I'm up on a Friday night. I felt guilty. I really felt like I was fucking up in a big way. Like something, like I could have, I should be, I should be down the clubs. You could watch some television programs. No, fuck television. What about peace, love, and rock and roll? How old is your baby? He's 14 years. You have a 14 year old baby? No, he's two years. 14 year old baby. He's two's two years. 14 year old baby?

He's two. He's turning two next week. Speaking of 14 year old babies, Dan, what are you up to? Oh. Ha ha ha. Well, you know my kids too. Get off your phone, Bobby. What are you doing?

What are you doing? You're on television. Come on, I have some respect for the fucking art. I got a buzz. I can't get a buzzer. Talk to the buzz. I can't, I cannot get a buzz. Talking to the microphone. Thank you, good. What were you saying?

Who gives a shit? Really? It was about... I'm kidding. You do whatever you want. You do whatever you want, bub. Got the f.. You know why? You got the fence of my apologize.

There you go. See that? Give me your belly please. What am I supposed to apologize for? Huh? What am I supposed to apologize for? I don't know, fucking everything you've said. What? Fucking dead, bub. I'm in Bokin't know, fucking everything you've said. What?

Fucking deadbubbs and bockin' row, whatever you call my show. I don't know the name of the show, I haven't seen it yet. Sex drug and robberies. I don't know my feelings on a shit. But I did bring up you being in the Rolling Stone magazine, the one with David Letterman in the cover, a show that I appeared on once. I don't know, I don't have a copy. Well, anyway.

I don't want you to have a mint condition, you know. Whatever. When was the last time you took a Friday of saturday night off? Two months ago. Why? Because I didn't have any spots. You didn't get spots? It's something happened. Well, if they realized you're fucking- I guess they watched your time. Don't you ever fucking step on my joke. I will do that all the time. Oh really, I can do that. I can do this and I can do that. I'll do that. Yeah loyalty. That's what that was. Loyalty. He has loyalty unlike you. Shit motherfucker I'm the most loyal. But I had a friend in and off and I was like you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna take the night off and not it put in for spots and I went and watched a movie and then I had dinner by myself

And then it was great. It was fucking great. Really? Dinner by yourself was great dude. I love it. Where'd you have dinner by yourself? On 30th Avenue on a restaurant. I forget the name. You went to a restaurant by yourself. I got super stoned. Went inside a movie. It came out and I was like, I'm gonna get some meat what movie? I know this is like 12 angry men. Oh What no, I didn't say movie that nice you got that high you got high when it is made up that you went to a movie no Cuz I watched dare devil and I was gonna go see a movie that ended up watching three episodes of dare devil I think the thing we pull from this is that Dan has no ability to cheat on his girlfriend No, it's like this. I was hanging out with the boys which boys

Yeah, I'd be pretty awful. What was I sent me to get a Friday Saturday? Lat not this past Saturday the Saturday Actually, I'll wait you want to hear something. Let me have that. Let me you have that. I took two Saturdays off in a row. This past Saturday, I was down in Texas. I went to meet my girlfriend's family in Dwentre's sketch show. And it was fun. I took the night off and went and saw some comedy and it was exciting. Yeah.

And then the week before that, I also had no spot. My spots are going down. It's really a first one. When you come back on TV, they'll go back up. He's going to be having a huge push. So yeah, we can't, we can't announce anything, right? We can just half hour. But you can't talk about last comic standing.

No. But we could talk about a piece, love and rock and roll. It's coming out June 12th on ABC, from the makers of NYPD believe that's not true Make use of rescue me They were shooting they started shooting vendors today. Oh, which is Jim sorbaco and Tom Celetti wrote and the directing Producing it's their first show just those two two that IFC bought and they have 10 episodes and they cast it a few people we know

and it's actually a lot of comedians are in it, which is great. Yeah, I auditioned. You did? Well, did you audition for it? I auditioned for a small part, it didn't go well. Oh really? I thought it actually went well, I didn't get it though.

What was the line? I can't remember. Really? Yeah. I was like a skinny hockey player. But I think I think they wanted a skinny. It's a nearly emaciated. I think Gordon got that part. I got a pretty good body. I think. Yeah, so they started shooting. I think yesterday today was one of the first days. And I don't know if I can announce who's in it, but let's be safe. Let's be safe. And some of our fucking good friends

have to be very surprised to listen to the show. Be very surprised who's in it. Passed out. Very excited about the show. It's very, very, very funny. Very funny. It's about hockey, right? It's a hot bomb.

It's about a life. It's like a beer league, isn't it? It's like hockey. It's about hockey, right? It's a hot bomb. It's about a life like a beer league. It's like a hockey It's a hockey. Well, you should let me fucking say something you can't conquer. It's oh my arm. I'm just wet Which arm is it which arm is it left to right left to right? You're fine. You're right arms No, okay left time's the one you gotta wear No, we're tingling vice-hide attacker front you you fucking for jackoffs I know he's taking over the show I'll see this five of us. Yeah, there's not five of you. Deepo is a human. Deepo I think you're a human deep. Thank you deepo would actually keep rolling

He'd fucking find a way to get close. Yeah, I mean he's the only one that the closest to being a doctor in this room Just start pushing your chest. Did you go to college, people? Yeah, I got a degree in biology. If you had to go to college, his parents would have chopped his head off. You got a degree in biology. Did you have a Tiger Mom? Half Tiger. What the fuck is that?

Like one of those moms that just drives you to learn the cello by the time you go to the woods mom. You follow Huff-Pow on Twitter and you read that one morning with Tigger. I started on Dateline NBC. Tiger moms. Oh, what's this? It is a real thing. Cuck, Cuck, you follow Cough-Pow on Twitter and you read that one morning with TIGERMOMS. Tiger Moms, oh what's this? It is a real thing. Thank you, Deepu. Yeah. What was your mom at TigerMOMS?

No, they just want to, what's best for me? So they said, oh yeah, you should probably do this. I want you to practice the violin at least seven hours a day for all day. Are you the not-grat-side hours a day for all day. Are you the not glad side, Dippo? For all day. For all day. And I'm racist. I did a dupe with the badu poo. Yeah, because I nailed the accent.

They love his Indian accent. They didn't listen. Your parents listen to the show. Yeah, probably say. Why would you have your parents listen to the show? They're bigger. Want them to be proud of something. Whoever the fat girl is, she doesn't very, actually. You should have just watch it without the sound. If you wanted them to be proud of something whoever the fat girl is she has a very extra you should I'm just watch it without the sound if you want to be proud

people you control all the white people yes isn't it made that you control them I'm very proud of you you tell the newly fat man you're very good at accents your script is flawless. I knew you'd do a better action than him, but he's Indian. Because I was not raised with balance. Yeah, I'm not an I1 pattern. I just do op-hoo from the Simpsons. The answer you're looking for is talent, Bobby.

Fuck boy, I got... I am. Go ahead. I want to hear some Montreal, who really just bombed and fucking You know, I mean I really do too. Who will you like fuck? There's gonna be times where you're in the back going fuck us hard. We fucked up How about you? Well, you just kind of sneak out because you're the one you picked them I I I mean I obviously am not gonna do that

I obviously am not gonna do that. Right, but the chorus. Certainly the ten. But I will say this, I remember I left two or three times where I've sat outside of a new face show on the ground just staring, knowing that I had made mistakes. I was like, they do have for sure. I mean, like we just have to pick,

I mean, listen, if you had to pick new faces, and that was your job. Yes, you It's a wedding average thing and you'd feel horrible. I would have went too early Yeah, you would have gone prairie. Yeah, I would have been nice I mean the worst Gallahose that I'll say is well we've had a lot of bad like Pamela Anderson hosted a Gallah once That was like an epic fucking disaster like How that was that? That was like, that was like an epic fucking disaster. Like, epic.

She was like, she was fine, but it's like, I mean, that's my fault, at the end of the day. Like, I was like, oh great, a comedy show. Do you know what I'm gonna do to all these comedians that have worked hard for years to finally do a gala? Yeah. I'm an Pamela Anderson host at the show. That sounds like a fair situation.

You have to write stuff there to give people a right for her. We wrote stuff for her and she was, you know, how long she do? She did like an aerial act of dance. I wasn't really that proud of it. It's like six minutes. It's pretty bad.

Who's the second worst? I don't know. There's been some people who have done, I mean I'm lying, right? You know, I'm just trying to say who I'm comfortable with. I want to be honest with you, Gala is a very hard. You've done great at Gala's, you've liked, but they're very- What they're very easy as cala the dain one the dain one was easy last year because it was a stand-up Hosting it is that easier stand-up hosting it gets him in the mood and the fans his fans came so Russell Peters last years was good um but you should add god-free clothes because god-free's out of his fucking mind

Um but here I mean you close? Yeah, me close. But here's the thing. What sucked about that. You held that. Yeah, we did. But last year what sucked about doing the gala is it was Sunday and then it went to Monday because Russell's so big he sold a Monday show. So you literally in your hotel or Monday morning and hearing clanging from them taking

apart all the stuff. Just ging, ging, ging, ging, ging, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, and it's raining. No comics are in town. There's nothing, and they're just ripping everything down, and you have one more show. And it's just sad. And like, I remember, I walked downstairs and the Godfrey was just going through the offices, looking for shit, and making calls, because there was one phone left in world.

You know, there was like, you know, a hundred people in that office. There was like one phone that works, it was just called as Jek. So it was like, boy, the room. It was weird. I remember I found a toy. I think I still have it.

Somebody left the Burger King toy there and I just took it. And it's like, it was Max's favorite toy for like five months. It was really sad. And then you go do the... I think the sad thing is the toy, not the... That was his best toy for five months. You never know what a kid's gonna like.

They're sucking a nickel for an hour. And who else have you done? See the Russell you did. Russell, and then I did... I did, my first scallop was the worst scallop I've ever done. And this is why. And I've talked about it before. Is that I was the first year I did, I did, my first calories the worst guy I've ever done. And this is why. And I've talked about it before. Is that I was, it was the first year I did the festival.

I did the nasty show. Amazing. Just uplifting. Holy shit. This is, I got me and Louis hung out for the first time, like walked around and, you know, you know, I remember we just walked in a story and bought a bag of apricots.

Like I never thought of buying apricots. And I remember like a couple weeks ago I was on the road and I just bought apricots to kind of like mimic my fucking whatever, my serigate dad that I created through the Louis C. You know what I mean? He gave me a watercolor thing because I told him I did art.

And I gave me a little watercolour thing with the brush and the pad. And I painted him took me two days. He painted Louisie K. I want to draw you. I painted him club soda, the street with the nasty show. I took a picture of it and then I sketched it and then I did a watercolor. That's how you do watercolour. Just sketch it with pencil lightly and then you watercol and then you erase the with a rubber erase you erase the the pencil and I remember I gave him this a water color of that night of that week

We were there and it was like and then we did the Gala and Matt Frost said you she wear a suit Hmm, and I was I went to the mall and bought a suit I literally spent most of the money I made at the festival, at a mall on a fucking suit. And I was a big boy that one too. I wasn't like, Skate was one of the fats, so I remember I had to have it fucking custom and I showed up and you can't swear and you can't do this and I'm trying and then I'm a little calf was going before me. He goes out, talking about shit, piss, fucking shit, and shit, and the baby shit,

and I shit, and everybody fucking shit. And I looked at the lady, I go, I can't, why can he swear? She goes, it was cute when he does it. Oh, okay. And I was like, okay. And I remember, he went out before me, fucking an eyelid, I went out in a suit.

I was so uncomfortable. I remember there was one point I had to run in the bit and I started running and I just, in my head, I'm like I'm wearing a suit. I'm just fat, a fat guy in a suit running. And it was okay, but I remember that, the one thing that they said, don't worry about it, we're not gonna let you bomb for a TV show.

You know, will fucking make sure we'll, you know. Sweet and enough. That's just something we say to make people feel bad. Yeah, you definitely didn't because I saw it. And it was me just fat guy running the suit. That's all you're thinking about. We actually were able to make you through CGI 20 pounds better. We did, we did that.

We invested in that. Well, the next one I did was actually great. It was a love one. It was fucking fun with the guy from Modern Family. And I kind of learned how to do them. This is what fucks you up. Ready? The lights are on.

Oh. And mentally, your brain, because you don't realize you're doing a TV show, they need lights to film it. When you go out, as long as you're in your brain, you go fuck it. Yeah. Fuck it. Literally, fuck it.

And I learned this from Bob Marley. Fuck it. When I was a hat. Bleh. Yeah, fuck it. Fiddah, fiddah, f, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. I just annihilated, I was a go, fuck it. Fuck the lights, fuck everything, fuck the cameras. Fuck the old people and just go and do your shit.

And then from then on it was just fucking, just, you know, great to do them. Yeah, perfect. Dude, doing a show lights on really fucks your brain up. Yeah. If you know, if you don't acknowledge it, you're sitting there going something's wrong, something's wrong, something's wrong, something's different.

Sex is the same way, I imagine. With me it is. And, okay, nice talking to you. But, yeah, my- You have sex with the lights on or off? Me? I don't have sex. Ever?

No. How many times a year? I don't know. Really? I'm gonna fuck this weekend though. Really? Yeah. Yeah, Sunday, fuck this weekend though. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. was Kev. He fucking, he was just, he kind of popped there. After that he kind of popped and then kind of came, that was then so plain which should have took anybody's career down and fucking burnt it. But yeah, then he, now he's, he's gonna sell out our arena. Is he coming? He's coming. Are you getting him from Montreal, Oliver? This year. This is Montreal. He's coming from, yes. So he's doing Montreal, he. Yeah, so he's doing Montreal. He's doing Montreal.

We got Mike Myers, Neil Patrick Harris hosting gallows, Wanda Sikes, Burr Patton. So Burr's coming up and doing a show. Burr's coming and doing a show. Is he doing another gala? No, he's just doing shows this year. So where's he doing that? New venue.

This new venue called Olympia. How many? Two or three. Two or three thousand people. He's almost, he's almost done selling out too. Jeez. And he just came out there. He hosted Gallows last year and he's back.

Ever already almost sold out. Yeah, he's amazing. Yeah. But so 19 shows in Boston. I saw that at the Wilbur. It's almost like all right enough. What is that 19,000 seats? Is it like a thousand seats? No, every time.bur. It's almost like, all right, enough. What is that, 19,000 seats? Is it like a thousand seats every time?

Yeah, it's over 20,000 seats. Wow. It's almost like, all right, we get it. You know what I mean? Just go do the garden. It's a hot, I mean, we get it. Oh wow. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's how physically exhausting is that? I think, I don't know know but I how many shows 19 shows But I think it's kind of cool At comic wise Because it's like yeah fuck it. Let's go. I'll do an hour. I probably working shit out Just fucking doing an hour of material when you think of it an hour is that not that long to do when you're in it for 20 years Yeah, you know what I mean? And you know, he writes, he writes pretty,

he writes a lot and he's pretty much, you know, does his thing now. Yeah. 19 shows is just, it's a record. You got a plaque on the fucking building, I think we're on a chair. If you're able to do it, it's the way to do it. So what's the alternative?

He gives that. Why do you say that? Because like, other, I mean, listen, I get the arena thing, I get the big 4,000-seater thing, but Bill Burr is so incredible at doing stand-up comedy. And if he's filming a billion TV shows, that's one thing, then play your biggest room possible.

But if you have time, yeah, go and give people that intimate special experience, see him in a thousand-seater. I agree with you. That's amazing. I do agree with you. I do, I agree with them totally. But these guys like Louie who have like a billion movies

and then the TV show now, I get why they don't have enough time. I agree with you. I absolutely do. That's a fucking very good point. Because that's what you really do want to see comedy. Yeah. In the housing cedar, you don't want to see it. I mean, look, you see somebody in an arena.

There's a lot of shitty seats. Yeah, I saw a Chappelle do a 500 seat theater one time, and that was amazing. And then I saw him do an amphitheater that sat like 5,000 people, and I had really good seats and it wasn't. Like we're doing, like in our festival right now. So we have six shows that are gonna sell out shortly. Chappelle doing a 1,400 seat.

That's awesome. It's ridiculous. You get to see, and if any of you at Chappelle right now at Chappelle right now. Yeah. He's back on the set that he is doing. And I saw a couple months ago in Carolina. One of the funniest stand-ups that I've seen in the last three years. Wow. That's how I mean he is. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's back. He's spectacle. That's going to be the energy there every single seat. 13,000 seats will be taken. That the energy there is special. But on the other side of the coin, yeah sitting and watching. You doing the Chewpal, the same thing. He's doing the link. He's doing the link. It seems like Jess Philath is getting bigger and bigger every year. You guys

used to have a couple big names, maybe one, but used to do these big gala's, that was the thing. And now you're doing the gala's plus the nasty show, plus the dating show, plus all these other theme shows that are just selling the fuck out. I mean, to jerk it dick off either, but. Please do. Now you're doing these massive comedians, you're having these massive comedians

coming up and doing these solo shows. We have 35% more tickets this year than last year. Jesus. And people are coming. Well, people are like the people who are listening to this podcast. They didn't exist five years ago. Yeah. They, you know, there are people are traveling it up. You know, anybody now, go to ha ha.com. Half of your favorite comics are there this year. The other half will be there next year. You know, just that's, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, like as a terrorist, if you want to take out the funny in America,

just go to this year and fucking take out every venue. And then every comic that wasn't there is like, I wonder if I'm gonna do it next year. Right. Right. We're coming down to be talking to Chris. Chris and Chris. How many times? I think we're all, we made it clear that that'll never happen to Chris.

We're booking unburnt faces. Hey, can you please do me a favor? Can you undo that? Because I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to talk to him for like the next month about that. I'm not, I would like to be clear that I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.

Chris, Chris. You know when Joe does it, I know it's love, but this time I don't know. I just want to have fun guys, you know, they're very mean, I've been enjoying it. Listen, I'm a big girl, I like fun. I mean, I mean, the best part of Montreal is the party though at night. How fucking great is that? See, I don't know, I haven't been up there since I stopped drinking. See, I disagree. I think the best part is the days. Really?

The party, the party is too many people. It's loud. It's crazy. You're like, should I be talking to him? Maybe I should be doing him. He didn't look at me. Yeah, but the industry. But the day, the daytime is great because everywhere you go, you come off the elevator. There's five comics there. You go to get breakfast, you're bumping into comics. Everyone's getting lunch.

I don't, but the industry part of it is so not there anymore as it used to be where it's like, oh my God, you could get a $500,000 development deal. If, you know, that doesn't really exist anymore. You're hitting it at first, we're irrelevant. I don't know, proper made that clear. You're not irrelevant. It's not about that anymore as it used to be.

You got management off it, didn't you? You can get management off it if you do new faces, it's not about that anymore as it used to be. You got management off it, didn't you? You can get management off it. If you knew faces, it's incredible for. But if you're going up as a regular guy, the shows itself, like I just said, you have some of the best comedians in the world. Just to clarify your slightly offensive statement though, we have more industry now than ever.

But the difference is back in the day, 15 years ago when you were getting new faces, people were walking away with like 300,000, a half a mill, that doesn't exist in our business. Yeah, that's what I was saying. If you take that pressure out of it, and you take, you're just gonna go up and do a spot, and you're gonna get management or age,

people gonna know you, it's less pressure. You don't have to, if you don't walk away, I couldn't imagine going up there and seeing somebody get a $500,000 deal and you didn't get anything. That must fucking drive you mad. Those were guys who were new faces, like brand new guys. Yeah, new faces, like, oh shit. Chicken.

Chicken. Chicken, I think, a half a million dollars. Half a million dollar deal and a three-pitcher deal. Who was chicken? He's dead. Okay. Where you guys super nervous like that? Where you guys did new faces? I was so...

Were you... Truth be told? Truth be told? Truth be told. No, just tells a lie. Tells a lie? Great time. Super pumped.

Now, truth be told. Uh, I had a kind of a chip on my shoulder because I thought I should have got regular new faces. So going up there for unwrapped, I was like, I'm a fucking... I'm gonna turn the screws. I got that set to the fucking bone. Really? Yeah, I was just working on it, fucking.

I wanted every sentence to fucking murder because I was like, all right, I'm gonna go do unwrapped and I'm very excited for this. It's much better for you because you got- 100% to be- 100% 100% but I went up there with the attitude of like, which I think helped me, of like kind of like a fuck you attitude. I'm like, all right, let's go fucking, I'm gonna I went up there with the attitude of like which I think helped me of like kind of like a fuck you attitude like all right let's go fucking I'm gonna

go murder up there and I think that served me that that served my purpose because I got everything that I wanted out of Montreal I got a I got a awesome manager yeah fucking got me out of Servant tacos businessmen man those the best I agree I remember taking the call from you guys, I was at a table taking an order and I missed Jeff's call the day before and I was at the restaurant and my phone started ringing in my pocket and I was at the table and I looked and it said Jeff Singer on it and I was like, excuse me, I'll be right back and I went outside and lit up a cigarette and picked up and you guys were like, you want to come to Montreal? Hold on. Was you're on the phone. We do that thing where we aggressively fucked with you first

Yeah, you're like, hey man, it's just happening. Well, I don't know if you know this the year before I Went out drinking because Jeff called me and left a message and I was like this is 2010 and I was like My best friend who's not a comic that I grew up with was like dude. They never called you before you got it And he's buying me shots all night at the bar And I'm on a double the next day at the restaurant and in between shifts I get a call from Jeff and he's like hey you You're one of the last names we crossed off the list so you guys did that to me again And I remember being outside the smoke just smoking a cigarette going all right fucking I get it

And then you like you want to come to Montreal? I was like ah fuck went back in. I was the greatest waiter for the rest of that shift. I was like, you guys want some free, ah, let me get you some chips. You guys need more chips. This was running around. I was fucking flying high, because yeah, it was like. What a great feeling. It was unbelievable after years.

There's nothing like succeeding. When you succeed in this business, the work it takes to get there and the failure and the disappointment it takes to get there. And then when somebody just says yes, it's all he does. Yes, you can come. It's fucking amazing. Well, all I heard was that and then everything else got drowned out because they were like, couldn't you find it right now? I was like, yeah, everything was like, yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, that's fun. One day it's one of the days.

Yeah. Because I'm gonna go tell One day, it's one of the days, because I'm gonna go tell my fucking managers restaurant he does day's call. All right, we gotta wrap this up. We're gonna end on that beautiful story of Dan Soda, just getting Montreal for the time. So when I was skinny and castable, but now I'm a big girl, so.

You are a big girl, but I still love you. Let's go around the room real quick. Robbie, we got the festival happening in end of July, ha ha ha, calm. Right. And Toronto, end of September, early October, JFL 42.com. And we got your at Robbie Pratt,

you got your Twitter up there too. If you want to follow Robbie, he's not just, you know, put you in the tweets. I occasionally retweet something funny. So if you really want that type of thing on your feed fucking love around but just for laughs at just that At just underscore. We'll find it for yeah, I can't even do our own Twitter Everybody that's what I love about the festival too is after you get in you realize every like a Zoe you Bruce his wife everybody is

What about my wife his wife is awesome his you know, I love his wife, everybody is fucking. What about my wife? His wife is awesome. You know why I love your wife? Because she loves my standup. She loves just that one. She loves it. She comes to the shows and goes,

We're having a baby. Oh my god, I get the fuck out of here. We're having a baby in September. Wow. Who is the donor? It was Dan's Fat Seaman. We want to have a fat baby. It's like a store. Dan's Fat Seaman. Show me Kank and I come. It's like a store. Dance fat, Seaman.

Show me Kankin' at home. You can't congratulate me. I'm a little tough, Boba-la. Thanks for being making that so jewelry for me, man. Yeah, she's so nice. You're a man. My Jeff Goldblum. Well, thanks for having me, man.

Thanks for being on. I love you, buddy. And I will see you in Toronto, right? Yes, sir. And you'll have fun in Montreal. Dan, you guys are going this year, right? Next year. Where are you going? What do you got going on? June 18th to June 20th.

I will be at comedy works in Denver. Are you looking up like an aunt? Is it on the ceiling? Well, because I was thinking Bonnaroo's before that. I'm doing Bonnaroo. I'm doing Bonnaroo. This year? Dude, I'm, I'm going there with, for the show. Sex drugs and rock and roll. Sex drugs and rock and roll. I'm doing, promoting it and then I'm doing some shows there. I'm there Wednesday through Monday. You guys know you had that conversation three weeks ago. Whatever. Hey, you're going to want a room?

You know what you're not going? Bottle room. Bottle room. I don't want a jersey show. Chris, did you hurt yourself breaking down the fourth wall? No. Not good. But comedy works in Denver.

Comedy works in my favorite club, June. One of them in the world. I love that place. June 18th to June 20thth never met the owner. She's great. Wendy Curtis I've never met her, but I've heard beautiful things about it. She's great. Yeah, maybe that's a good thing She yeah, she asked if it's kind of a short notice, but I'm excited to go back to Denver. I love Denver, dude. I love it Very excited. I do I love it. It's it's it's always nice to go home and work our fantastic club. It's a great club. Go ahead What do you got Joe? June 10th my comedy central half-hour special in Boston. Yes, you can get the link on my Facebook and you're just Google it Looking up whatever where is it being filmed the Royale theater? Is that a Royale with cheese?

Mmm, and Also get get tickets early. This one's gonna go quick everybody July Second third and fourth. Yeah, isn't the fourth almost sold out the fourth is getting close to sold out So make sure you get those tickets early so they don't cancel the show Everybody gets a sparkler the stress factory and if you want to if you buy your tickets early enough you can do time on the show July second third and fourth seriously. I'd love that. I need the money. So please come the fourth. I don't want to get canceled.

Jesus. And then this comes out Monday, yeah? Monday, yeah. Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night, June 2nd, Tuesday. We're something on the table. We get it. Right downstairs.

Sam Marille is at the Comedy Village. The Comedy Underground. Village Underground. Village Underground. Our buddy Sam Marille, past guests. Sam Marille. One of the best. Sam Marille. He's my best friend. Oh, sorry. Not really He's recording his album for comedy such a records and there's still tickets available village underground tomorrow night So come out you can be part of a history, you know, can I be can I like my friends are like Keith and Colin

Can I can I get it? Can you guys be my friend? I want a younger friend. Sorry bro. I am your friend, I'm coming to your kids birthday party. No, I mean like best friends. Can we start to be best friends? Yeah buddy. Yeah.

Everyone check out Bobby's show, Peace, Love, and Rockin' Roll, Rockin' Fox. No shoes, no shirt, no service, coming to the TBS. So yeah, Fourth of July I'll see you there in the 2nd. Come to St. Sam's Show.

Come to Sam's Show. Go ahead. Go to ComedyCellar.com. This is the ComedyCellar.com. We are in right now. They provide us with this beautiful space. Downstairs ComedyCellar.com is of the the best comedy club in the fucking world hands down so make sure you go to the website come to the shows and check us out

not all of us play there but you know where you looking at me I'm just going to go ahead what do you got from me what am I playing yeah June 27th yeah I'm at sports haven new haven that's me you and Lewis on that show. Oh, yeah, that's a great show Great show July 16th the night it pro pro sex drugs and rock and rolls pemeers Gotham comedy club also July 17th and 18th. Yeah, Gotham comedy club was gonna be awesome August 7th and 8th Governors in broke bridge. I just got a text message from Zoe who I love Who is works for just for laughs. She goes, I'm jealous watching you Robbie on the show live. She was she was here. I'm so happy she's not to be honest with

it. Oh, she's the worst. Zoe is not the fucking worst. Do not say that. That's not true. That is not I'm looking right in the camera. Zoe, you are the best. You are the best, the best. She's the worst. The best. The best. I hate her. I love her.

No one likes her. No, you're out of your mind. Everybody loves Joey. I personally don't like her. You're out of your mind. She's the best, I love her. I just like being at her. What do you got?

Yeah, let's go. It's called comedy scope. Sorry for your timing getting fucked up. Okay. August 2021, Salt Lake City at the 50 West Club. Yeah. And then there's some later dates. All right, we got some other dates coming up.

Also, I'm going to be at the ATX Television event in Austin. The fourth, fifth, and sixth, I'll be in Austin for the ATX promoting sex drugs in Rock and Roll. The week after that, I'm going to be in Bonarue, 11th, 12th, 13th. And I believe the 14th, no, yeah, I'll be in Bonarou, promoting sex drugs in Rock and Roll and also doing my comedy. So come check that out and I have a very big announcement coming up. I can't announce it right now, but as soon as I can, I will, but it's awesome.

I'm very excited to make this announcement. So probably next week, hopefully, or the week after. So listen out for that and go to robbercadalive.com. Check it out on my dates and buy Robbercada Live from the Village Underground. Five bucks right on my site and you can own it, the unedited version. And right here behind me, you can see this lovely T-shirt. Robbercada Live at the Village Underground. We are giving this T-shirt away to a fan.

All you have to do is depot is what? Oh yeah, the contest. Leave a comment. Are you shitting me? I literally teed it up for you. Just leave a comment. Well, actually, we heard that the contest is over basically. We did it for only last week's episode.

Let's do it for two episodes. Let's give two shirts away. All right, great. All you have to do is leave a comment on the official release of this episode, the one that comes out Sunday night, and also be a subscriber to the channel, which of course is free.

All right. A nice comment, too. Why would they do it? What are they doing? There's some dingy comments. What would they say? This is shit, but last episode. They didn't like the last episode.

Well, it had to do with the guests. It was Gavin McGinnis kind of creating like a reactionary, fucking about shit about Bobby, but they say What they say? They say they don't like me. They don't like it. Yeah, what are they listening for? What were they saying? You can tell me I gotta go look up the exact quotes. Yeah, but what was it? They don't like you like But like some asshole some assholes like I counted nine fallacies Bobby said and it's just horses like that fallacies

What do you mean? That's a word for like an incorrect statement. You know people's over and a analytical douche bags I mean there's some worse things but you know there was worse things in that like what a little bit like what? I don't remember Because I read them what was it? I want to run when I hear one before the end this fucking show Everybody's on their phones. I'm looking for the comment bro. I'm trying to hunt people down dog Come on get the fucking comment. I want to hear it spit it out. I got to get to the comments Bobby

You haven't know I don't get to it I got to look at him because there's a lot of them the law what do you mean? There's a lot of 66 comments because we contest a lot of people commented for that too alright go ahead bobby is trying to tell gavin anything is amusing in and of itself because gavin is actually a learned man who is intelligent and bobby is a good moron

bobby is mad that gavin has a slight criticism of his friend luise ck i could write a very long list of all the fallacies that bobby spouts off bobby's acting like a woman at times in the podcast Fucking shameful. Yeah, whoa. That's not even a night. That's like I got the tool. Yeah, I'm gonna keep going is there more Happy he's going Pickin' this up though. He's reading this with a smile I can't see the dick getting harder to I got a half shove don't worry about it.

Bobby is stupid. Yeah, okay. It's a statistical fact that women over 35 have trouble having children. Having a child at 40 is statistically rare. Gavin is right. I'm so tired of people thinking, anecdotes prove something.

Statistically rare? It's rare for a woman to have a child over 40. No, because Bobby said that it's not the kid's fine. I was giving up facts. I was going 72% of women. And then I was backing out. I was going, I'm just kidding. Oh, yeah, that's great.

So dumb. But these dummies don't understand that I was being. That's because they get around. These people that come out like an army of people that think they're meaning something. I don't know. 58% of listeners believe everything about it. Yeah, it's actually it's actually 61% Well, I don't know where you're getting this one. Uh-oh. Where is Dan? Great episode But Joe and Dan are an amazing combination

Well, they're here now. So there you go. This week's episode was brought to you by the letters D and F For fucking Dan you by the letters D and F. For fuck's of damn fat. Fat, fat, fat. Dan got fat and that's about it. We're gonna go. So make sure you subscribe. We're gonna give the second teacher the way. We're gonna announce the winner of this first week's,

this week's coming up and blah, blah, blah, and so on and so forth. You guys are the best. Talk to you later, Robert Kelly. You know what, dude? Podcast. You've been listening to the YKWD Podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet. And they're all con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos,

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