Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Statutory Ape

Episode Date: September 23, 2013

Robert is joined by Jay Hollingsworth, Adrienne Iapalucci, Joe List, Luis J Gomez and Chris Scopo.  RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Activa es lúnico. Porque a diferencia de otros, Activa ha demostrado que sus millones de probióticos naturales llegan vivos a la microviota. ¡WOW! Y además ayuda a tu salud digestiva. Activa. 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno,

3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar tu del 3 por uno en medianas a domicidios solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? 3 por uno, 3 por uno... ¡Ah, no, no, no! ¡Dominos!

Pitsa. Buscas contenido gratis. ¡Au, wanna be see! Fluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Fluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com I hear my dates, you guys are always asking me where you're going to be playing. When he coming to my town, when he coming back to Jersey, man, when he coming back to the Maryland, and well, here you go. Here are my dates.

So get a pen and a piece of paper and jot it down. October 10th, 11th, 12th, McGubby's Joe Kaus in Maryland. Love that club too. And then I'm back October 24th at the Revelle Casino, brand new Casino Atlantic City. I'm doing an hour show once you're only. That's a fucking good time. So get your tickets for that. October 25th, 26th, comedy works Albany. October 31st, funny bone, Sakura. Where is it Syracuse? That's the 31st through the third. That's a long one.

That's up in Syracuse. I think that's a new club, the funny bone in Syracuse, October 31st to November 3rd. November 7th, eighth, ninth. I'm in Toronto, Canada, for the dark comedy festival, T.D. baby. December 6th, side splitters, all the way to December 8, in Tampa.

Tampa, I love Tampa. December 27, comedy shop, blackstone, blackstone. I don't know what the fuck that is. It's, it's fucked. My wife fucked up on this one. So, she's gonna have to fix it. But that's enough. You get it.

Go to robbercallylive.com right now. If I didn't mention your town, it might be up on my website. If not, email me. The club you want me to come to and I will make sure my agent is on it. So there you go. Okay, check it out. Here's the intro for this show. We have Jay Hollingsworth, right? Adrian Apollucci, two new people to the show. They've never been on very funny, very cool. We had Louis J. Gomez was back on. He had to do six acts of random kindness to get back on the show. He was on a three week suspension,

but he's back because he did his six acts of random kindness. You want to check those out. They're very funny. We put them on video. They're ryecast.com slash Robert Kelly. They're on the YouTube page for the show. So make sure you check those out. Pretty funny. Of course we had Chris Scopo, Kelly's replacement, and then my favorite Joe list. The truth was here. Told everything together So it was a it was a fun fun show a lot of interesting stuff was talked about some serious stuff It's talked about suicide. We talked about the father's death. We had a lot of fun. We busted balls

This was a real good one, man. I had a fucking blast doing this row So I'm not gonna go on and on so there you go This is the intro to the show hit play enjoy this motherfucker It's over two and a half hours. So fucking we yapped on this one, but you're used to that by now And of course, let me know ykwd at rycast.com Let me know what you like what you don't like who you like. We don't like mostly just good stuff I don't really need to hear the bad stuff, but I get all your emails. If I haven't respond yet, I apologize, but believe me, I get all the great emails your guys are sending us, and I appreciate

them all. So just know that, and I will respond to you guys. But keep the emails coming, keep the positive stuff coming, and keep spreading the word, enjoy this show. Right now, what's it called again? Statutory ape. Goddamnit. Fucking Louis Chagomus. Alright, take it easy. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn.

This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Leary. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Chrysler. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? You know what, dude?

Ify bippy bbya, ify bippy boo. Dipy, dipy dhya, yabba dhyba doo. Dude! This is Robert Kelly's, you know what, dude? You know what, dude? I'm just starting to stick and stick. You know what I'm getting? I'm stuck in the bottom, I'm getting far, I'm getting far. You know what I'm getting?

I'm just starting to suck, suck, suck, suck. You know know I'm sad that you're having a bad day I'm having a bad day Wait, will I see you? Who's that singing? Fist? Fist? I love Fist. Who's Fist?

She's terrific. She sings 1, 2, 3, 4. Tell me that you love me. Alright, here we go go. We're on man. Fuck it. I'm rolling I actually got you song on on by the way. Oh great. Oh great. Let me hear you test test test. Yeah Test test test. Would you have the breakfast? That's how I test sound nobody uses it. It's a great sound You have a nickname big big Irish Jay. Yeah, because we have a big Jay I know actually just met him for the first time I'm sorry. I apologize for that

We're here. We have like you're both wonderful. Oh, yeah, thank you. What? Oh Boy, I how are you? What am I gonna write on the couch over here? You what you have to pee first? Yeah, pee don't pee on the couch No, where you going stay?, we don't need to leave. Right through that door, it's to the left. It's so exciting. Adrian and I just bonded last week. Oh, all right.

Yeah, so it's new. We're close friends. Well, not close, it was last week. I thought we were close friends, but you ever have that thing where you think you're real good friends with someone that like, I wanna be friends with you. And I'm like, what?

That's what I had with you. Really? Yeah, at the Seattle comedy competition. We're not talking shit about you. She stinks at comedy Nice gal this microphone smells like boy, it smells like fucking Lewis Gomez's asshole What what is this? Take take that give me that It smells who's talking in this

She was using this one. Yeah. Oh, boy. This smells like rubbing alcohol. First of all, we shouldn't you didn't spray him after they use it. Did you spray the thing? You didn't. I sprayed him down. You sprayed him that day? Well, did she come back in and talk again? Spray it again, dude. Spray that fucking thing. We shouldn't be calling people out on bad breath. That can that can derail a career. What bad breath? Yeah. You talking bad breath?

You could fuck up a career. Some of it. I've smelled breath that you can smell over the phone. That's not true. That was a little delay. I was like, this is gonna be, this is a hammer. And then you guys delayed me. Did you spray it?

Is it still smell? I mean, you gotta bathe it out to meadow juice. Okay, it's Lewis's, yeah. We have new microphone things. Can you text or do something to Kelly where they are? We're going to throw all these out. Are you washing or something? I don't know. What did I just say? Can we talk on the microphone? How's that Chris?

We're on a fucking podcast and you're talking into your headphones. That was a great line too. What I say to you, I said you just email Kelly and ask her where the bag of these are. Oh, the microphone covers because I have new ones. A whole new bag. They should be somewhere.

We're gonna throw these out. So, anyways, all right, we we started the show. She's done. It's been a it's been a very bad day so far. Very terribly. What happened? But let me ask you this, is your baby all right? Look, is your baby healthy? I don't know. Is that what the problem is? Well, no, no, no, no, no, that he's just something wrong with him, but there's something wrong with the baby. I mean, not bad, but he's going through

whatever the fuck babies do at three months in a week. And something's happening and it's, you know, and here's a problem, okay? I've never been a dad, I've, you know, and here's a problem, okay? I've never been a dad, I've, you know, my, you know, I'm not a doctor, neither is my wife, you know, so it's, you try to self-diagnose this little kid and my wife is, he'll be fine, it'll be fine, everything will be fine.

I'm fuck you, let's get it checked out. I'm sick, I'm sick, I'm sick. I'd rather go and get something checked out. She'd rather wait and make sure it's not, you know, it's probably nothing serious, wide panic. So we have to meet somewhere in the middle and it's hard to do that when you're dealing with, you know, a kid, when a baby.

And you know, she's a great mom, she's unbelievable. She's the shit, but you know, the last couple nights when you don't get sleep and we're doing a lot of shit, we're waking up every day. We're going from sleeping. We were sleepers. We were nappers. We'd wake up at 11 and we'd go back to bed at 130

for a nap. I mean, and now, you know, three months ago, our whole lives changed. Well, we wake up when the fuck he wakes up and we're up. And there's no, there's no, there's no anything. There's no extra minutes. You get the fuck up and you change his fucking diapers and you feed him and you play with him.

You're up. There's nothing you can do. Yeah, it sounds like a nightmare. No, it's not a nightmare. It's not a nightmare. I'm not saying it's a nightmare for you, but to me, that sounds like a nightmare. It would be a nightmare for a younger, a younger Bob Kelly,

even three years ago, I'd fucking murder myself. Right. But do you both get up in the middle of it? Well, you know, she was getting up, you know, but you know, there's a certain point where, you know, she gets tired and frustrated and she's like, can you, you know, you can hear her? I'm kind of saying you guys should take turns.

Well, it's, there should be some type of communication of look. You get the first half, I'll get the second half, but here's the thing is, I got to work all day too. I got to go make something from nothing every day I got to wake up at you know when the baby wakes up get on the computer I got a million things going on a million things I'm doing writing or trying to get off the ground And then I got a you know do shows at night and I got to do this and you know like today is one of my busy days So it's like usually on Mondays, she'll kind of take over and let me get some sleep.

And I'll work all fucking day today. And then tonight, I'll fucking, you know, I'll do the first half or something like that. But, you know, it's, look it, you don't know until you're there. And then you don't know. Do you understand? You think everybody's fucking,

the only people that know are people with two kids They're the people that are like relax. Don't worry about it. They're the ones who've been through it with the one It's like the you know the second one the first kid you have you you know You every time the pacifier drops you're cleaning and washing it and sterilizing it And then you see kids with a lady with two kids and the passenger driver pacified drops and dog shit She wipes it off on her a fucking shirt and puts it in the kids mouth. It's like, you know It's just it's it's been crazy and you know, I'm out like go to the fucking doctor. Just call the fucking doctor Right, I have insurance. I pay for it. Use it. What the fuck am I doing?

Just make a phone call. She's like, I think he's fine. It got to the point today where she said to me, it bothers me because you don't trust my opinion, but if a doctor says it, you're okay with that. And I went, yeah, you're absolutely right, because you don't have a fucking degree in medicine. And you've never had a fucking baby. medicine. And you've never had a fucking baby. No, you've never had a baby.

But they have instinct, it's like for a nature. Are you out of your mind? Did you say instinct? No, no, I'm not out of my mind. I think it's a thing. I don't know this, but I think that's a thing. No, it's not. Mothers are always right and all that business. I think that's a thing. Yeah, okay, tell that to the fucking SIDS baby.

I don't know what that means. Fucking baby that the mother fucking fell asleep baby. I don't know what that means. Fucking baby that the mother fucking fell asleep with on a blanket on his face. Dude, look it. It's not, I know there's mother, look it. She's a great mom. There's certain things that she, I can't, the patients that women have is fucking almost annoying.

Adrian's very patient. I have no patients. I'm talking about Women who have not comics I was gonna say you guys can't just let the baby keep crying till he stops crying. Yeah, she's a comic See, I don't did this is I understand this though because I fight that selfish crazy Comics where fucking nuts? Yeah, and we have the ability to, we're fucking nuts. And we have the ability to just let it fucking cry, just let it go.

Who gives a shit? And it's, you know, you can't do that. You gotta be, you can't do that. I believe me, I can sit there, almost scientifically and watch my baby cry. Scientifically, like I'll wait him out. Like it does nothing. He'd sit there, almost scientifically, and watch my baby cry. Scientifically, I'll wait him out. It doesn't affect me.

I'm not like, oh my god. My wife will pick him up and sue them and do all that. I could watch him sit there and cry until he gets used, but that's f**kin sicko shit, I think so I have to pick him up and You know did you get fatter? I think you look great Lewis looks great again. Haha huge Not a bread talking to the microphone. This is a podcast put the headphones on so you know not too long breathing No, I'm sweating and breathing too heavy Look at his arms. Yeah, they look huge fucking enormous or that's just a small

New tattoo new tattoo want to show it. Let me see it What is it what is it? The cupcake the first trees First Put it on the way back to Jersey the girl trees. Oh girl trees. You have girl trees. Yeah, the girl cheese No, they're girl trees. I mean, a lot of girl cheese. They're girl trees. They're like cupcakes.

They're birch trees. They symbolize new beginnings. No, they're not. They're girl trees. You get them up in the hampshire. A lot of women like them when they go to the hampshire. Have you ever had a fucking birch wood chest? Huh?

It's nice, expensive. Yeah, he gave it to a woman when she's getting married as something new, something old, something like that. I, a scope, oh, announce everybody on the show. Okay. To my right, we have, something like that. I, a scope, oh, and now it's everybody on the show. Okay. To my right, we have Louis J. Gomez. Realized dude, Louis J. Realized dude, Louis J.

Now we're gonna fucking add that. Yeah. We're gonna add the J and the realized. We did seven acts of kindness, so I get the character in the realized dude. Don't announce, this isn't your show, I announce it, okay. Why don't you do eight and cover up that tattoo? I mean like those fucking app please just yell at me and curse at me why because if you don't

Me being this worked up. Yeah, and spending $35 on two different cabs. Yeah, it's for no reason Listen man. You need you to fucking car. I need you to throw something at me I need you to fucking something at me. I need you to fucking yell at me I need you to tell me I'm not your friend. You are my friend. No, you did two calves. Why are you out of breath? I almost just literally I can't wouldn't pick me up and I got out of the train of 14th And I fucking grab the window because he wouldn't stop and his thing was on and I started violently slamming my hand into his window Because he wouldn't stop and his thing was on and I started violently slamming my hand and do his window Saying I got to get to YKWD Bobby's gonna fucking kill me. I What street do you want did that work one set?

He's like they all racist. I never take people there. Do wrong Joe. She's funny So far you're wrong sexy Fucking took off and then another guy and I was all out of breath and another guy was like, hey dude, what happened? You need to steal your stuff and I was, get out of my face. I yelled at him for trying to help me. Here's a deal. Where are you coming from?

What street? On one 16th. And what? Park. Okay, so what train is do you take up there? I take, why would, usually I would walk to the two, three transfer to the one. Okay, what train do you take?

To come here, that's what I did. The two, three can take you right all the way down here, right? Over to Christopher Street. Why, then you got to transfer to the one at 14th Street. Okay, so, dude, look, I was up on 100th Street, having lunch, 100th and some street, having lunch, up by you. I jumped on a train and I was here in literally 14 minutes. You got to take the six,

I was at 14 minutes. It's not, it's 30 minutes with the transfer on the walkin' and everything. It's 30 minutes, but I left, I left with 25 minutes, I was like, you know what, let me hop in a cab. So I took a taxi and it took me 40 minutes to get to 59th Street Columbia Circle for my apartment. You're in a rush hour traffic.

Yeah, because you left, it's four o'clock. First of all, everybody in New York knows this and you know this. Know this. At four o'clock, the cabs turn over and the cab drivers work from five to five. So at four, from four to five, it's hard to get a cab in New York City

because they're all trying to turn over their shift and turn over the cab. So they have to go to where they do that. And it's rush hour. So to get a cab from 3 thirty to five thirty in your city uh... downtown uh... if in your brain you process that and that's okay you're a fucking m m m

moron i can't say it with just a moron i took it i took a uh... subway and it took me fourteen minutes to get down here. You could have took, so it takes you half hour, so you had 25 minutes, so you would have been five minutes late. Instead, you fucking, you show up at 505.

Five minutes late. It's an hour, you're an hour late. No. I'm 35 minutes late. No, you're an hour late. No, not. I add a half hour for every half hour. I'm 35 minutes late. No, you're an hour late. No, not. I add a half hour for every half hour. I'm gonna have to leave.

To me, it's an hour. Thank you. So, never. Look at man. There you go. You're late. You're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you day. Do you understand that Joe he's he was I was gonna get to it. He showed up. Part of it is my the baby and all this shit but the other part of it is this fucking gorilla that just stepped in the room. Which ranks higher huh which way ranks higher. What it ranks higher how? How? How? What? I hate?

Or I'd love to see die. Definitely Lewis. Yes. We're that nice tattoo. Yeah, the fuck it is. The girl trees fucking birch wood. I don't even I don't even suit it. Looks like palm trees. Are you gonna color that in? It's gonna be shaded in. I said a least. It's like cobblestone. You're gonna spend more money on that and shade it. Yeah, literally looks like somebody drew through up on your advice. Why don't you just wait till you go to jail, let's see. Yeah. What's your name even?

I don't even know you. All right, so Chris, wait, thank you very much, Chris. Go this way. Don't go the regulars. Go this way. Well, honestly, I wanted to go this way because I don't know his last name. That's why Bobby wanted you to introduce the show.

He doesn't know either of these people. I know both of them I know I don't know her but I actually booked her but I know him I've been friends with him for a long time. All right. What's both of the last names in alphabetical order? Adrian is every fucking letter of the alphabet in her last name, so that's not really how you do alphabetical I'm not good with I don't I don't know Adrian. Let me see. I have Adrian's last name right here You can't use this to look up mine too. No, I don't have your number in my phone Sorry, has that hurt you?

Her name is apple luchi. Are we gonna seriously wait till you Your name apple luchi? Yeah, really? Yeah, what else? Well, don't say really. Yeah, like it's a normal name Apple luchi sounds like something the Indians and the pilgrims came together and the apple luchi trail Yeah, what else? Well, don't say really. Yeah, like it's a normal name Apaluchi sounds like something the Indians and the pilgrims came together and the Apaluchi trail I don't know what I felt like apaluchi. What is it? What is apaluchi? Italian is that Italian? Oh sorry scope of relax. It is a vowel. Is it Jewish? No, what is it? 100 vowels in it. It's Italian. You're Italian No, what is it? There's a hundred vowels in it.

It's Italian. You're Italian? Yeah. Adrian Iapalucci? Iapalucci. I don't fucking know. I don't know. That doesn't sound like a fucking Italian name to me.

Apalucci. You were talking about it. It's like a tattooed Italian name. She is. Adrian Apalucci does. Adrian and Rocky. First of all, first of all, that doesn't make her Italian. She could have been Italian and Rocky.

Yeah, but Rocky was Italian You don't know what she was. Listen to the way that you know what she was. Let's say it Adrian out Apollucci I mean how could that sound? All right now the way Now it's like an Italian slur What are you looking at? Adrian Apollucci you fucking Apollucci. Hey, he just fucking got Apalucia down the corner. You got a tattoo of an Apalucia.

All right, well. And Jay, fuck it. Jay fucking McGinnis. Hollingsworth. Longsworth. Longsworth. I got it. Big J, what did they call you?

Big Irish J. Big Irish J, because we already have a big J. Yeah. I met in Seattle at the parlor live. We're actually, I, the first, one of the first episodes of this podcast. Yeah, yeah. When it came back, it used to be Robert Kelly

and sometimes Colin Quinn. And then I took a couple of years off because Colin Quinn and fucking plowed it. Yeah, we had a guy offer us $5,000 like a week to do the podcast podcast and he said no I go can't just hear him out. He goes okay We call the guys okay. I'm cooking dinner for my kids Can I call you back in a second guys calling those now? I just let you know. I'm not into it

Not interested. Hey, I was but calling can I just tell you goes now? No, there's no need to whatever you say It's not gonna work for me. I'm literally going, are you kidding me? I'm laughing my eyes off, like, I'm like, dude, I'm so sorry. This guy just fucking imploded, like, it literally in front of my face. Yeah, yeah, what do you get, though? If I, that's one before podcasts,

like right when they came out. Yeah, everybody had one then too, but I did my first show with you, not you, but. I was out of town, Yeah, it was, uh, who was there? It was, uh, Ploof. Ploof and Manny. The Ploof is in the pudding. Yeah. The worst podcast name on the, I have ploof of that. It stinks. That's his name. You know, Kyle Ploof, right? But that whole thing just stunk like everything that just happened right there was fine. I mean, like, you're too too are we gonna

Can't even matching fighting Irish you fucking asshole, please when I used to fight you the you the big J with the shit your tattoos That was that Yeah Steve burns his logo on his fucking forum Steve burn has the same logo My knee just locked up The shit day unb high my knee just locked up What shit day? Unbuckle my knee Let me Patelia that could be a bad problem Patelia All right, so

We got Joe list We got your friend, what's his name? Sean? Sean McKean. Sean McKean and you are the you guys run Potaholics potaholics. Potaholics. Oh, that's fucking original name Potaholix I call it diet right, Kest. What'd you say? Diet right? Diet. This is the worst show ever Diet right? Diet test. Diet. This is the worst show ever. Hello.

When you just start over. Joe List loves to laugh. And he is looking at me like he's on a train and he doesn't know any of us. I'm a diet. I'm a diet. I never laugh. I'm a tough guy to get laughing.

I laughed at a couple of my jokes. I didn't even get a nickname here. What kind of intro is this? You have. You have. We haven't even got to them. We did a half hour on fucking Gomez's real ass dude who somehow is getting scarier as the time goes by.

The closer we come, the more scared of Miami. And I'm the fucking truth over here. You're the fucking thing. You're the fucking you are the truth. You're Joe aka the truth list. Joe aka couldn't be happier Joe aka the truth list. Joe aka couldn't be happier that Kelly's gone list. I'm really happy she's gone.

I'm joking. No, seriously. Has it been a better show without her? No, that's ridiculous. Joe is nodding his head up and down right now. No, I miss Kelly. She is, I just, oh, dream about her. By the way, I did purchase the

domain name Kelly for stucco sucks.com. It will, I swear to God, it will be linked to realasdood.com, which is linked to gomescomedy.com. So go to my website, guys, let's plug that. Anyways, I'm seeing you a long time. Do I have to do this at the front or anytime? I see you. Anytime. My remind me to do the plugs, I'll do that. front or anytime. I don't know. I don't know. My remind me to do the plugs. I'll do that.

Yeah. Well, Lewis J. Gomez, if you guys don't know this because you don't listen to the show, he was kicked off the show last week. Why? Because he's a fucking ape. He's a fucking ape. He's a... Here's a deal. How's a fucking ape. He, I could, I could,

I'll leave an ape. Here's a deal, here's a deal. How do you ape an ape? Adrian. That's what they call me in high school, the statutory ape. Now that's comedy. That's a new nickname. They have, they have.

That's my album name, if I ever have an album. Do you? Oh, now all you need is 35 more minutes of the story. So he, he asked, he asked Chris, you know, every week I say, I say, call this guy, Chris gives me a list of people. I say, you know, there's a regular like Joe and Dan and Lewis is one of those guys and Lewis couldn't do it at five.

So I said, no, I can't change it. I do it at five. Can't do it at three. And I told Chris, no, we can't. So just say thank you. And next week, maybe next week, which is, you know, I never be rude to anybody. Always be nice. You know, if you can't do it, you can't do it.

And he goes on Twitter and goes, I want to do the show next week, but Bobby Kelly won't move it back to three. He only will do it at five. What do you think, guys? That's not what I'm saying. And, ah. What?

What? So, then he gets, you know, the four Lewis Gomez fans from the show, out of the 50,000 people, there's eight people that like Lou. Love me. They go on Twitter, like, I'm being mean to Lewis by doing the show, my show, when I can do it, when I can actually do my show, which is just five o'clock, because I have a family that I have to get home to, and when I can do my show, it is just five o'clock, because I have a family that I have to get home to. And when I can do my show, it's at five o'clock,

but he makes it about me not doing it for him. So I said, go fuck yourself, you're gone. You're gone, he's out. And then he does a vine of his balls. That's not on that. Why did you tell him that he doesn't vine of his balls? Did I just drop you back? No, no, no, that's not on that back.

Why do you have to, it's not as simple as that. It wasn't like that. No, it was funny. It wasn't me being a dick. It wasn't like that. No, it was funny. It wasn't me being a dick. It wasn't the fans. I hashtag, include the dude. Which is funny.

And then you see wrote what? And then I started having people started tweeting at you being like, hey, you have Louis on the show. Adrian, Adrian, what I do is I bring people on my show and I promote them. And like, you got to follow this guy. You got to see this guy. You got to go hear him. He's listening to a show, he's awesome.

I believe in him, I love him, he's funny, that's what I do. What he does to the person that does that is, hey guys, go attack him on Twitter to get me on the show. So he's trying to turn the people that I go, the people that I got into him, the people that I got into him, he tried to turn them against me so that I could do my show for him at three o'clock

Okay, first of all you should take it as a compliment because I just fucking love doing the show so Lewis That's real ass rude. This is all he has this is all he has going on. It really is my biggest credit So it's all you said this is a last week. No, so they tweeted at me band before week. He was He was hanging out with yana's how to get back Paul Verzi. I gotta tell you what he was hanging out with yana's and Paul Verzi. They tweeted a vine like them having fun Like just a them like they're the have none at a diner. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, parties have spoken to done then Paul Verzi who's been on the show once I call him diet Louis J. Gomez Paul Verzi I love to see fucking Verzi fuck you you fucking fuck suck up come behind you with a fucking bag hey you're right in your head first of all I convinced Bobby in the car that Paul Verzi owns three subway restaurants in Bayon, New Jersey he made a believable he made though he didn't say him. He said his wife. His wife's family.

So that he, they all tweeted, he was like, oh, you're done, three weeks you're done. So then I tweeted, it was a vine of my face, but it was from the perspective of underneath my balls. So you saw my ball meeting ball here in the camera. You know, you know, ball meeting balls. Yeah, you know, wow. It looked like meat.

Like you meet, you'd find on the side of the road. No. No. It was awful. He got so close to his nuts, you could see the root, the root of the hair follicle, like the actual hole with a fucking ball follicle. Yeah, where you could literally see the hair going into the hole. Oh.

So by the way, I don't know. Better or worse than the tattoo. It was listening to me. Itender or worse than the tattoo. It was, listen to me. It is burned into my fucking memory. Like his gray Spanish ball sack. Gray, isn't it purple? It looks like horse nuts. That gray color, just like beat up and weathered.

You ever see the inside of a really like a thousand pound guy, the inside of his thighs, that dark meat, that's dark meat that's what a like a homeless guy's foot with hair follicles. So I deleted it after like five minutes. Yeah I deleted it because I knew I probably shouldn't find my balls being comedy. It's on your phone right. It's done. I might have it on my phone. I think if you delete it from Vine Deletes from your phone. Oh, okay. So

So either way Bobby calls me up the next morning. Mm-hmm any I mean loses that on me. Yeah, dude. What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, what the fuck? No dude like I'm trying to get people to fucking like look at you people are looking for we have like you know You know, we're we're mean a little so writing a show together and there's like people that, you know, the thing now is people I've walked in the room at Spike TV and everybody in the room all the producers are on their phone looking at my Twitter They're literally reading my Twitter to find out what type of fucking guy I am. How many followers do I have? Am I fucking an asshole? Am I bullying people? Am and my could they work with me they can go to your Facebook and your Twitter and Find out do I want to be in business with this person or not because if you're up there doing rape jokes

You have your ball sack video. I don't think the woman who runs spike is gonna fucking want to maybe be in business with you You understand so when you have when you take your cloud card and Donnie Brasco a fucking guerrilla in, right? And then all your guys, apostle and the people that they know, start to follow this fucking idiot, right? And then they go and his ball sack is on there. Literally my manager called me up.

Did he just do a thing of his ball this is the best part though he tells me he's like did Cepacus son his seven year old son saw your ball sack it's Cepaco you're made your manager's name is Cepaco you said Cepaco I said it like you say it Cepaco oh you trying to do me okay guys I tried Cepaco's fucking sony seven years old he saw it dude. It's so funny now that I know it's me He's in a cap account He's in the car looking at it on his fucking iPad and his fucking son said dad But that so he's like dude write him a fucking apology email right now. So I wrote him an apology

No, no, no, no, and wait did you apologize? Hang on hang on one second Adrian What the fuck is she? Is it Zomurukov? Is it me? It's a fucking early on. Can you just call me by my first name? So, first of all, first of all, first of all,

first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all,

first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, first of all, about Lewis immediately is two days, three days later. Do you understand that? When he says, I'll have a tea immediately, you're gonna get it a day, two, three days, three days at the most.

Immediately means two to three days later. So we're talking, I said that to him, send it immediately, which is a deadline. He sends it Saturday night at stress factories. This was the night before that it happened. No, it was too nice. No, it was Thursday. It was Thursday.

It was Thursday. It was Thursday. It was Thursday. It was Thursday. Yeah, stupid. So, all right, so fun. I send it, as soon as I go one second, I'm going stupid. I wanted to say it again, because you had just dumbed.

As soon as I hit send, he's like, did Severskis kid didn't see it. Yeah, we totally juggled. Me and Trevor go in on it the whole time. He sent a nice fucking email, I'm sorry about, he goes, can I say, I'm sorry that your kid saw my nuts. This was a fucking gorilla. That was the email, he thought was acceptable.

Are you really the email? I don't have it, I probably have it. I don't know, it's your phone and your life. Stop acting me like I'm your assistant. I don't seem like you are. I know, I do a lot, well here's the thing. As I said to him, I go, you can come back on the show on Tuesday at five if you do six acts of random kindness.

To make up for my show. And you videotape. Do you have to buy a neat one? No, he had to videotape them and I have them on the YKWD. They're all shot on the perspective of his balls. So the first one, I don't know if I can play it. I'll play it right now. I'll just play it on either of those computers and we'll come through. I have it. What? Nothing here in my pocket. I'm not even gonna get into the conversation about how the system works here. I know how the fucking system works. It's my system. I

Bought and paid it. Bought and paid it? Yep. That's what you get. Alright, you ready? So he goes, this fucking ape. He really is just a fucking ape. So he sends me the first one. He's on the street. It's such a long intro. Well, it's the first one. I had to do a longer one for the first one. It's two minutes.

It's not even that long. That's like a lot of loose jokes. By the way, come to mine an Adrian show at the stand, look at 26, that is in book to promote it then. It's not your 26. You have a you guys have a How are you guys doing? Oh, such an idiot. It's 27. Look at, we're gonna have to book this after.

No, today, like, before we leave. Before we leave. I'll do it. I'll do it. Joe's on it. Great. October 27th. No, it's October 27th.

Isn't that tomorrow? No, next week I think. What is the 27th? Friday. Does that come through the house? Yeah, it is. Is that annoying? Yeah.

Yeah, that's the worst. It makes somebody like a Tourette's tick. All right, so here you go. Do you guys really have a show together? What is that? It's like a mash show. Was it fucking yin-yin-yang? Yes.

Who is it called funny and not? It's not funny. It's like a mash- Was it fucking yin-yin-yang? Yes! Who is it called? It's funny and not? It's not... I hope I was the funny one there. You putt this a shit. Bye. So, why would she not be the funny one? The shadrian's actually hilarious. Is she hilarious?

She really is. I'd put her as the second funniest comic in this room. You'd put her after me? funniest comic in this room. Are you put her after me? Let's play this dumb video. I'm trying to get this. This is at a theater I would be complaining already. I can just give you my phone. I have it on my phone.

I want to see these videos. I feel like you're just reading texts right now, like catching up on business. Bobby, love to show the stress factory. He's watching a cooking show. I'm trying to fucking get the stupid things. I don't know how to get my, dude here. Fucking show, some uploads.

Is it uploads? Yeah, I got it right now. We're in a Mac to cut. I got it. All right, go, here we go. I got it, I got it. All right, here we go. Mm-hmm.

We're doing it. All right, here we go. So I sent them out in the street. I say you got to have these fucking videos, which are on the, the homepage. If you go to riotcast.com slash Robert Kelly, it's right there in the What is it? What's going on? Lewis J Gomez, real astute here. Some of you may or may not know that I've been banned from the YKWD podcast for the next three weeks in a row. We'll talk about it on the show, I'm sure.

But Robert Kelly being the generous and wonderful soul that he is has given me an opportunity. Granted me an opportunity to get back on the show before the three weeks is up. And all I have to do is commit... 6 acts, random acts, 6 random acts of kindness. Sounds like a weird word. And that's the type of person that Robert Kelly is. He doesn't think about himself. He didn't say he have to go fucking buy me six sandwiches. Like all of his instincts said he would.

I got a marriage round. First of all, he said go. Ha ha ha. This is what it is. This is what it is. It's 2013 and he's still shooting video with his phone vertical instead of horizontal. Everybody, and then I told him not to do that

and he's still fucking does He still does it. That's what a fucking stone of this idiot is But that was a funny little you should hold it vertical for us and see For other people I want to create positive energy in the world and that's a good fucking person I'm gonna say right now Robert Kelly's a real ass dude So first act to kindness I'm here in front of Penn Station in New York City, getting ready to go out of town. I started thinking of things that I like.

What do I like? I like fucking MMA. I can't do MMA with people. I like metal music. Nobody wants to hear me sing. We don't. We don't. I like candy.

I love candy I Love starbursts in particular. It's a good candy right here. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna give away this starburst to a random stranger It's gonna give it away. I'm creepy and that'll be my first act of kindness. All right, gotta help you show I'm gonna fucking give it away. They could have just taken it I was talking about tossing candy I'm gonna fucking give it away, they could have just taken it So aggressive, we could have fucking taken this fucking candy I'm gonna toss it buddy, we want some candy Well, spray candy You want some candy? Yeah, my man

Awesome, thank you so much kids I'm doing random acts of kindness today So I'm just giving away candy. All right. I took a candy from my body right here My name is D. D. D. D. D. Like a good D. Perfectly Just miss out on the free candy dude He just miss out on the fucking free candy Yes, his name is dude. How perfect is that? It's good shit. Thank you very much

All right first act of kindness done that's amazing that in the middle you're trying to act kind of somebody answer directions You didn't give them to exactly That's amazing you didn't give them to him. Exactly. He's a fucking idiot. You could have number two right there. That's amazing. Great vid. It's literally how his stupidness is almost genius. It's magic, it's magic stupid. He literally goes in the middle of the fucking act of kindness.

A guy, and this is the fight, how stupid he is. He gets him on video. He turns the camera perfectly to got for the guy to go like he knew the guy Excuse me you guys know what a thavis and he went you fucking miss candy you fucking idiot other Good deeds got the candy You're an idiot and then deeds goes it's right here man You're an idiot and then deeds goes it's right here man

That's hilarious. He is how fucking moron That's you said that actually you said no, I gotta do another one put them might you gotta eat them might Yeah, just pull it to you a little bit But I did by the way I did do seven acts kindness so so here's you guys want to see it? Do you want to hear the next? Do you want to do the other ones are quick? The other ones are very quick, except for the last one. What's going on? I'm on my second active kindness. I'm in the hotel in Brantford, Connecticut.

And I'm going to try to entertain more of the employees. So follow me. Okay, what's up? What's going on? Hey, good morning. How are you doing here, entertainment? Yeah, I'm going to juggle for you. Okay, okay, here we go. Oh my God.

Oh my God. That's circle. Okay, just because you got any candy. Ta-da. You just made a mess. Okay, I'm here at Elvone, the York City and I just committed another act of kindness. And the three people here are alone in the African comedy show. And I accept them all together and now they're gonna have a hot sexy threesome.

So my, my end of the kindness is to give this guy who is ugly as shit. That's just... There goes that kindness. It's good. This guy who's ugly a share There goes that kindness that goes that kindness nullifies the kindness out We mother fucker here ugly mother fucker Negates the fucking kindness, so that's not kindness. That's actually you lost this you're actually going in the hole But the room of full of people laughed and how ugly that guy is exactly which is for multiple people Which is 40 acts of kindness right there. That's actually 40 acts of fucking evil Call them all motherfuckers He fans Lewis shake on as real as dude here after kindness can we wait for wait

Just this one makes you furious you told me to get on Lewis for doing it Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Where were we going for and to you said that bomb? I didn't know you were trying to be funny The way you say to me, I've always like just tell them to do it tell me do it. I like you sick Yeah, okay, it looks like are you a little sick? Yeah, you can tell yeah, you just stay home That's what happens when you eat human body parts By by stay home. I mean don't talk for the rest of the show By by stay home. I mean don't talk for the rest of the show Chris go home. We have a suggestion box on the show. Yes, we'll put well Somebody would love to make a suggestion box. Good idea. Send it to 6.7.6. A 9.5 number 4. 2.4 New York, New York, 1.0. 3.6. All right. We'll go to the act active kindness number 4. First of all, I don't I love that he opens up with hey fans

It should be singular first of all I don't I love that he opens up with hey fans it should be singular first of all fan and not fans actually why the WD fans that's what I said I'm shooting New York City just a few days after 9-11 and got me thinking what do we need to do we need to thank our fucking police officers New York's finest they work fucking harder than anybody else they're underpaid these motherfuckers put their lives on the on the line every single day. So what I decided to do is I was gonna buy some donuts Walking with a donut not even in a box I was wondering, I just wanted to say thank you for all the charm of this new tie I have on mine y'all. Ah, thank you very much. Look, so thank you very much. I appreciate your service.

Is that Hannibal? Yes. That's the name of the site. Thank you. Members, boom. Nice and easy. Act number four. Done.

Meanwhile, Lewis has an eighth of weed in his back pocket. First of all, if you see anything odd or suspicious, please say something, this fucking cop just had a burly Puerto Rican walk up to him with an open donut in a napkin. Like the chocolate was kind of missing on the top and he took it and ate it. Is the fuck is wrong with him? Would you ever eat an open donut from Lewis Gomez?

No. If he came up a guy with a shirt that doesn't fit Walked up with an open donut and said hey, I'm doing this thanks and any thanks to cop for being a good member of society Yes, you know, you don't know that most a lot of New York cops very quick You know, same cop who shot those two women in times of wear the other day. That was probably one of them. He probably shot it because he had fucking donut juice on his fucking truer fucked up. So you're high.

All right, so that's number four. Number five. Number five makes you furious. We're out. Find your arteries. Wait, what? You're just told to me they're gonna die. Okay, I'm gonna tell you why this fucking fourth order this one makes me sick because he thinks that I'm this stupid This is how stupid he thinks I am he has a camera of cell phone camera on a fat guy eating pizza

No, not me Okay, so he's eating pizza acting like he's nonchalantly just eating a pie with some random guy filming him on a phone Lewis comes up. What are you fucking scissor sezzy? He comes up and slaps the pizza around him and goes come on man You clogging your routers and then walks out, but the camera stays there So not only do the guy with the camera phone know the guy eating the pizza he knew Lewis. It's like the moon landing I fucking I Infuriated one out of ideas. I don't know what to do. He couldn't how about this cuz you're a bad person

How about how about this I'll tell you what to do right guy I like me ring out. Yes, you have four ideas so far and two of them were the same. Given candy and given donuts. That's one idea. The other one was juggle. And then I ran out of ideas. I used my one skill and then I gave out bad food. Also, taking away pizza is the complete opposite of the previous.

Did you make that hotel employee pick up after you got that shit? You were junk. Two of your ideas are completely 180s. There's a thing though, this is the funniest video of all day. He goes, I don't know what to do. How about, how about not have a stationary fucking camera shot? How about not having a two shot like you fucking making a movie you fucking idiot and just Take the camera like you've been doing walk up to a fat guy slap the pizza

Out of his hand and then walk away and go that's number four motherfuckers helping fat guys Fuck you have a tripod Fucking idiot I can't stand them. I fucking hate him. I hate him. All right here. We go number Was it number six? What's going on? Why can't stand them. I fucking hate them. I hate them. All right, here we go. Number six. Number six. What's going on, YKB defense? Luis de Gomez realized dude here. Six acts of kindness.

I got one more to go. I'm honestly at a loss. I'm walking the streets in the other city. It's like fucking one-third of here to get more drinks. I'm in the Times Square area. Here's your drinks. I'm in the time Square Eric I'm honestly at a loss That should be you're saying not real as dude you should be do as Jake Gomez. I'm honestly at a loss I like that nobody in need isn't featured in this video. Yeah, nobody know nobody you need to be next no homeless people

Oh, no, you know, no lady. Okay, here we go. There we go. There we go I gotta think one more act to kindness So I'm I figured I just start taping and walk around and see if anybody needs any help You need some help buddy He doesn't need any help I I know what's going on here. Let me see what's going on in the deli. What's going on guys? Hey, what's going on?

I'm doing this whole 6X, the kindness thing for the Wikitt WD podcast. Do you guys need any help with anything? Any help? Wait, you need no way before that. You got to hear the music. Listen to the closing music in the background. You know they don't play during the day because it's scared the white people out They only play from like one to five in the morning

Well, then anything right now. I'm just trying to be like I'm trying to be I'm trying to be a good person into good things for people You need help or something? You need a nice girl. Oh fuck me dude. I have enough to give you a hand job It didn't say no It didn't say no. I'll tell you that much. What's up? Do you need any help with anything? I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to do this. I'm hungry. I'll eat the rest of the pizza. I'm kidding. He's laughing for us. Thank you, dude. I'm trying to, do you need help with anything, bro? Thank you so much. Bro, I'm trying to be a good person.

Thank you, dude. I'm a shoulder massage. Thank you so much. You're not gonna let me get you. I'm a so kind of people. I'm really a good person. I'm really trying to be a good person. You want to shoulder massage, bro? No, home, I'm just trying to be a good person right now. God damn it, dude.

You're a good person, huh? I'm trying YKWD. I'm trying to be a good person right now. God damn it dude. Look, I'm trying YKWD. I'm trying to be a good fucking person right now. What the fuck is going on here, man? I'm trying to make this a short video. Hey mess, what's going on? I'm trying to do good shit for people. You and the video should have been the act of kindness for all of us.

Up in the world? No, unless you get cigarette. No, I don't, but why don't we get you a cigarette? What's watch this hold on dude. I'm gonna get you a fucking cigarette buddy He's a fire cigarette from you. Yes My man Come on, can you be I'll give you a dollar now miss here we go Take it don't drop it. He's yelling at her. I got her a fucking cigarette Guys, I'm oh

And I picked it up for that seven acts of kindness I appreciate it. You're also a great person Boom seven acts of kindness mother fuckers realize dude. I appreciate it. You're also a great person. Boom! Seven acts of kindness, motherfuckers. Realized, dude, I'm back! YKWD Podcast! That was great. Who did all the editing in business? I did. I did. It was wonderful. So yeah, you're back. You did it. Are you technically pulled it off? If you didn't have that seventh, I would have fucking said no, because that pizza one with the fat guy, stock footage, you fucking shot in 1996,

but you're back. I'm back. You know, it actually felt good. It was refreshing to go out and do good things for people. I'm gonna start doing things every day. You're gonna do random acts of kindness every day. Every day of my life. I'm gonna do one new random act of kindness Really, hopefully one of those will be not showing up to this podcast on the Tuesday Come on don't get mad don't push them don't push them Mike. Why are you gonna push the mic away?

Come on get on the mic I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm fucking I feel better already. Thank you guys. I'm glad that we're doing the show because I had a very bad day. I went, you know what was really fun though? I went with Lenny Marcus. You know Lenny Marcus? Yeah. Nice guy. Jewish. One. Jesus. Yes, he is Jewish. We went to a Jewish Deli and got some Some some I'm really into this now Alex no I'm not in the set. They just got me to say no

Locks and bagels. What is locks? Oh fish? Fish and bagel you're not pretend like you don't know what every food Fish and bagel you're not pretend like you don't know what every food You know it's fucking fish paste there's no way that you know you don't know what fucking lost I never knew I always heard locks and bagels but listen you're not even fucking pot pies every fucking night You've thrown them you've seen them you see I don't mean I have no idea what Dude there's no fucking way I believe any of this is just was a much as per you know he's a lot is

locks locks locks l x a lot i don't like that arian and assume that i wasn't smart enough to spell it i don't know yet she helped out right away l o x yeah i don't like that you guys actually like l o x and l o c k s aren fucking pronounce the same. Why is freezing your hot? Are you cold?

Keep cold shut the AC off. Yeah, it's fucking fridget off. All right, there it is. Oh, how good. Great. It sounds now. Yeah, wow. Missouling sounds of raw. Oh, yeah, it's it's one of my new favorite things. It's like a paste. No, it's a fish. Go ahead, tell them. Sorry, but no, fat people aren't binging on locks. I mean, it's fish. Well, thanks, I appreciate that. I'm not saying you.

I'm just saying in general, you're eating cakes and chinoins getting sad eating a ton. That is so fucking racist. You just saying that fat people eat just eat cake. Mostly. No, that's not true. Hawaiian fat people eat moco-local. I don't know any names.

It's carbs. I'm a carb, I like sweets too, but I'm like, I'm a lot of carbs. I am not a sweet guy. I like, I'm same as you. I'll fucking throw down a bowl of rice and some chips. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, God.

I love locks. Oh, the bagels are in New York City, dude. Bagels are the best thing in the world and it's just eight slices of bread. I don't think that's fucking true anymore. I thought that was true at in Seriously, I think it was I think that was true in the 80s maybe but not now that everybody Everybody has that they're all over the world. These great bagelsels. No. No, the water in New York City makes it. The water? Where are you from, Adrian?

The Bronx. Are you from the Bronx? Really? Do you like black guys? Of course. Like, would you have sex with them? Yeah. Okay.

Rose. Sue. Sorry. She's one of those Italians. She's the chick from Jungle Sever Italian. Yes. She's one of those Italians. What kind kind the kind whose dad hates them. Yeah Dad I want you to meet your own

It's like Michael killing Fredo you gonna wait for the It's like Michael killing Fredo. You get away for the You know, the mother did that. Yeah, mother. You waited to bang a black guy until he did his dad dead All right, come on in Tyrone Sneak into the window like you usually do Can we get a guest with a dad on the show for God's sake? No, you have a father was your father He's in Portland, Oregon in a prison Now he's fucking retired now. Is he what was he he played for the Patriots actually? Oh, yeah, he told me this then he was a longshoreman

So he wasn't a good patriot. Yeah, exactly how long did he play for fuck? I think he was only there for like a year. I got a track really how much did he make like 17 grand? Hey, hey, hey, hey no side talking on the fucking show. Okay. It's distracting. Sorry. What are you talking about nothing? Yeah, what is it? Talk about it. What is it? Do you want a beer or a drink? What do you want? I want to know if your dad was like a fisherman. So ask it. Why would you fucking whisper that to Joe? Yeah, I don't know. Joe looks like you're a fisherman. Yeah, but it's called a podcast. You have a microphone. You don't whisper all right. I know the rules no, it's not my rules It's they be rules for a fucking radio show you a nut broad. I like that Jay said nature. Yeah, nature. Thanks for calling it out. Hello It's very natural to be sitting around with a sound system

What? What? Adrian? What's your problem, the fisherman? Yes. Is that what you said? No, he pulled in ships. Hmm. Yeah.

He pulled them in with his mind. What did he pull them in with? It's a longshoreman. They pull in the fucking ships. Was he in a tugboat? No, they fucking throw these big ass ropes and then the dudes all grab the ropes and pull the fucking... Was your a dude who threw the new rope or did he pull the rope?

Pull the pull is a puller. Yeah, that's the not gay one No, the puller is the gay one. No, you throw the rope your gay. Oh, okay. Um, yeah I don't know how it would be you father's Ha ha. You father still alive now. Yeah, yeah, is he a good guy? Yeah, yeah, you're you're friends with him? Yeah Big guy cuz you're a big boy. Yeah, he's he's there though, cuz I've always, he's barrel chested dude, he's big dude. Like fuck, like last time I saw him, like just, I hugged him and I could feel bones and I'm like, ah fuck, he's getting,

like he's getting frail, you know? He's just gonna. Jesus Christ dude, I mean, you're the only shining hope on the show, you have a dad, and you're like, he's frail and dying. How you fuck dude, it's the trip. Fucking, Adrian's making, now you're doing mine. What the fuck is going on?

Just saying to the microphone, you fucking weirdo. I'm not saying anything. She, she went like this, just to me, she was gonna kill, she was gonna kill himself. I'm gonna tell you that kill himself, he was gonna die, that was. Well, just say that, it's hilarious. Yeah. Are you guys even friends?

What are you from Amsterdam? What's wrong with you? I'm from Amsterdam. You guys haven't even formally met and you're making gestures with that time. That's why I was just mining it, but thanks. I don't want you to mime it. I want you to be you. There you go.

There's no secrets here in the podcast. You can talk about my dad. There's no secret. I don't want him to die. That's what you do. I do. What? You don't want his dad to die.

I'm getting dude. How would you say that? Thanks for looking worse than me I think he looks handsome. Thanks. Hold on to handsome my dad. Yeah, no that skinny fox With her in a way You sure it sure is age might be Possibly he died of old AIDS Nobody mentioned that this is by far Lewis's best performance.

We want to jinx it. It's like a perfect game. Well, there you go. Well, actually, here comes a bomb. Here comes a bomb. It's been man-ready. Joe, why would you do this? So, an Adrian, do you still have parents?

I was gonna try to count that as a bomb. I have a mother. You're just a mother. Is she in old school? Oh, I am a mom. Tell the sitcom premise. I'm not saying a sitcom premise why can't I tell it her mom's a comic who's your mom Judy to Newtie your mother's Judy to noodle who's your mother you don't know what he called for you why are you doing

podcasts it's Betty White who's your mom Ph's Betty White. Who's your mom? Philis Dealer. This lady. Who's your mom? Amy Schum. Jackie Kennedy, your name is Staples. Is that a person? I don't know.

Kurt or Bo. Let's just keep going. Who's your mother? Karen Carpenter. Yes. Optimus Prime, Luis and Kate. Who is your, who is your your mother Billy Burr? I Wish who's your mother Linda Apple

What is her name? Debbie Debbie Debbie Debbie what her only credit is doing Dallas. Oh She's a sweetie. What? What? What do your mother does stand up for? Is she known? Will we know her? No, she's less known than me.

Jesus Christ. So she's not even the business. She's not known exactly. What does she do stand up in front of a mirror with a collar. Not even. Hey, check. Adrian, come here. Listen to this new one. So I'm doing dishes, right?

And this tomato sauce is everywhere. And he's dead, but I still call him. Honey, honey, she forgot he's dead. If she hears that she's going to want to use that. What? What do you think? It needs a little punch, but the beginning, but I think the ending is strong. It's a little wordy. Should I use meatballs in lasagna? I think meatballs is funny. What? Say hello to you. Can we name this podcast Debbie? That's not even our last name. It doesn't matter. That's great.

Not anymore. She started doing black guys like you. Listen. Does your mother know you day black guys? Yeah. No, okay. Do you only day black guys? No. Do you date white guys? Yes. Do you like black guys better? No. Do you date guys that are more famous than you? Unfortunately, no. That's sad. I mean, I would, but you would. I haven't had the opportunity. By well, you're not going to have no opportunity in this room either. Put a fucking level plane fuel in this room. Is your mom date black dudes? No. I ain't feeling this wrong. Is your mom dating black dudes? No.

Um, she said she would since I have. I've opened a pro. That's weird. Good for you. Look what you did. Look what I did. You fucking ruined years of tradition down the toilet. But you go fucking ruined the mob by your rat into.

You're like a rat. You're like a rat in the mob. You see, cement shoes are Adrian for fucking a black guy. Listen, now that you've done it I think we should go to the movie theory amc on a Friday and see one of those black movies with the lady with the dress I think you's data black. I bet you'd have to be light light like like wait or light black like not fat No, like light colored like I'll just said that same shitty Joe. Oh, we did no No, we did not no, we didn't know know we didn't know Three of us to kiss triple kiss

Do me a favor I'll kiss for you Joe since your lips are small That's insensitive white lips. It's big in a big lips. How many black guys have you dated? Oh boy that wasn't that much how many I don't know two two thousand inches three 17 I think I speak for your dad when I say it only takes one So you've you've had four forty five inches of black guys Takes a village I think it's not saying you're feet at that point. You've had two yards of black guys.

That's all right. You're in the red zone of black guys. So you like, you like a tiny guy though? Do you like a guy? I like everybody. You like any tall petite iris. I like everyone, and I like everyone so there's no guy you don't like no style no type You like alternative guys like I don't really like hipsters you don't like hipsters with hats and shit What's the difference in a hipster and a fucking alternative guy? I've never heard the term alternative guy in my life. Well, even in an alternate comic,

an alternate guy's like from the early 90s, like Grunger, it's like an alternate, you know, but he's an alt guy. Like, and porn alt chicks are now like, you know, like, email each of his tattoos and piercings and shit. But I don't know. How did you get this over there?

Well, because I'm sitting there, now I'm thinking of jerking off. I don't know how you got me there. That's the thing I've never dated like a hipster guy. No, you date what's that? You like tough guys, nice guys, what do you like? I don't like, I mean, I don't know, I just, I like funny guys.

Business man are like a tow truck driver. I probably like a tow truck driver over a business guy. Do you cook? What's your best meal? I don't truck driver. Neither. I probably like a tow truck driver over a business guy. Do you cook? What's your best meal? I don't fucking know. I just get cooked. You got to get a look about this. I'm just like, I'm not like I'm being.

I'm not like I'm being mad at me. I'm just asking you. Well, I ask you a simple question. I don't fucking know. That's what it was. That's what she is. No, no, no. Don't treat me like a black guy. All right. Simple question you I don't fucking know Don't treat me like a black guy Really attracted to you Listen to me when were you be attracted to silo?

Bobby's just black and I can I we got it you had to ruin it with your yeah We all got it even the people who haven't listened to it yet Just got it and you're a shick dick and you're so insecure that you had to fucking tell them Imagine if Bobby was black. Yeah, it'd be C. Low. It'd be C. Low if he was black I'm Lewis J Gomez. It's like you work at a restaurant. You're calling on somebody's number 23 number 23 family of six Johnson's 23 Actually dip the bandana in the water and it will suck the water from the bandana You can no, no, you can't let me fun. No because it is a podcast

So I'm just asking what like I like your well, no, it's very jerky What what what do you like to cook because I like to cook too? Ribs Some stuff I like stuff in crack pot. You could just leave it overnight, like ribs in the Krakpa. You cook ribs? RIP pipe. And it. Back.

Basketball sneakers. Yes. It makes sense. It's great. It's a lot of work. That's good. Do you cook Big J? No.

Nothing's so rich. If you're in Big J, please. He says his name's Big J. J is fine. Irish Big J. Big Irish J. Big Irish J. J is fine. I not a big J. Please. He says his name's big J. J's fine Irish big J big Irish J big Irish J J's fine. I'll just do J. You're a big motherfucker. Yeah, six eight six eight Hello, hello, my name is Lewis. Hello number 23. I think I said wide. I think you said that's with It might have got a lot. I know I do that's why you're the a lot I love I love the Joe's punching your jokes up live on the show. Oh Lewis next time go with with With or without Chris when I said don't speak I was kidding

God I never thought I'd say this where's Kelly Oh, okay. God, I never thought I'd say this. Where's Kelly? Maybe. What happens Kelly, in my law, to ask? Yeah, she's underneath the couch right now. Dead? Yeah, we killed her.

Sucking another comedian's dick. Oh, good dude. That's not funny. Don't say that about me. I'm gonna try to be funny. It's a truth. It's insensitive. Kelly's in Australia right now.

She went to visit her family for three weeks in Chris Scopo or Scopo, which I've been calling him for three weeks Is taking her place. Okay. What's happening to you when she comes back? What do we do with you? I guess I'm do stay I don't know. I guess not. What are you? She didn't write back. She wrote an email. She's like, I'm gonna be back to 21st. I'll book the show Oh, I know. Why don't we have them have a competition is you can be who get out that chair he wants Do you know Kelly Adrian not well, I don't fucking know I was expecting that Never live it down. No, no more stuff that I could Haven't I make you a cookbook? How do you make me something to eat? All right, what do you want?

Black dick. What? All right. Hey, I'm gonna go all getting insensitive here. No, I would like, I would like, I like lasagna. I can make good lasagna. Really, I love it. I was gonna say that.

I can make good lasagna. I think Kelly, do you like Kelly? I really don't know her that well. I've only probably talked to her. Wow. She was just lying. I have great Just she was swallowing when that started because Kelly's gonna hear that and be like oh great Apollucci hates me, but she had a lot of drinking water. I probably met her twice. She seems really nice I've never talked I love that you changed it from swallowing to drinking water. Yeah, well

Nothing I'll give it a minute. I'll take it a little insensitive. we have a guest who's a young lady and she's very shy and and and and lady in early forties but very sweet and she's not forties

and you know you know and you're 50 and i love her come back with what are you in your and i don't know and i'm not she's fitting in I love her come back with what are you in your No, I'm she's fitting in and what do you want to treat her differently? I'm treating her like I treat anybody else in this fucking show Joe If she wants to be she's not doing My well in her career. Okay. That's a point taken. That's true. How long you been in the business? Nine years holy shit. She was the finalist unless

Kidding I'm kidding. It was a joke. I got Adrian Undo that is that Dean what's your name again? Sean. Sean, you produce, right? Will you stay here in New York and produce our shows? Huh? I'll lift the sole show up. Really? All right, cool from where?

What do you live? Unless I can stay in there and run Seattle. Oh, fuck it. Don't whisper on the front. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Adrian lay Adrian. Let me tell you what Adrian let me tell you how the fuck show works when you whisper into the microphone We all no we all hear you going It's okay. What what did you say to Joe? It was very sexual. No, I did you say no

Department is this that's all I said. It's not an apartment. It's a studio fourth wall breaker I do do well you want to sitcom do you look into the camera like Bert Reynolds? We all are I think that I think I really like Adrian. I think she's very funny. Jay, you're not doing this as good as I thought. Hey, you're actually Adrian's doing better than you. Actually, if we were judging.

Adrian's amazing. Adrian's one of the best comics in the city. Let's not get carried away. In what city? Brooklyn? Kansas City. I don't even sell a pretty good city. Brooklyn would be the third largest city or fourth largest city in America.

Well, you know what's weird. Fourth. I was thinking about these clubs, these small little venues that all over the place. Now, Queens, Brooklyn, that you guys, and even the bars, it's, it sets you up in a different way. Unless this is what's going to happen and it might, I don't know, but when you get used to working in front of 20 people, you know, 50 people, whatever that is, and you get used to working that cut you slack.

You know what I mean? Like when I do these rooms where they cut you a lot more slack because there's less people and they assume that it's more of an art thing. It's more of a, I don't know if it's stand up comedy, but when you go to like the stress factory or you go and do a real headlining gig, if you're going to be a real fucking comic someday and they call them club comics. I don't believe in this I believe that if you're funny you're funny anywhere. I can go be funny in these little rooms

I can take the same act that works at an improv or works in front of fucking the 3000 people at a theater or 18,000 people in arena and go and perform a Twenty people in a bar and it's still funny 18,000 people what are you on girl code? So people in a bar and it's still funny. 18,000 people, what are you on, girl code? So, so, so, I don't believe, I funny is funny, but I think when you get used to working a certain vibe in those little rooms, and then when you go in front of 300 people or 200 people at a room where it's a professional club,

and everybody on it is fucking nailing it, I don't think that comedy works. You're gonna do both. I think you have to do both. But I think that comedy, it can fuck you up. I can give you bad indigestion. No. No bad habits. I could be wrong. I agree with you. There's a there's a comic we saw did that does mainly this Altroom all he does the Altroom that's I'd say it's 95% all comics at this open mic, right? And he does stuff that the comics love But then he did a show where it's an audience and they were like we don't fucking we don't get this

But that's it that's different like that obviously if you're just Trying to make the audience you can't try to make the audience, you can't try to make the audience that you're performing to laugh. You gotta get what you think is funny and perform that and it's many different venues as you can. But I think if you're just trying to make a bunch of comics laugh and you get good at making comics laugh, you're not gonna do well

from the audience, we're all animals. Yeah, comics also laugh at like premises. Comics will appreciate like a good premise and get into it. That's what happens in a lot of the, you know, quote unquote, alt-dee rooms. It's very slow. The new comedy that's out there now takes a long time to get into it. That's what happens in a lot of the, you know, quote unquote, alt-e rooms. It's very slow. I mean, the new comedy that's out there now

takes a long time to get to the punchline. Yeah, it's very slow, but we also have that very thing where it's a fucking thousand punchlines we talk about. Yeah, but I don't know if, look at, man, I don't know if it's ever gonna be funny to me where it takes 10 years to get there and it's not that great of a payoff.

It's good, but it's not, I'm like, I mean, that might work. I guess that worked. I mean, you know, it's always industry too, because you got to remember that the industry gets sick of us, and they want new, and when new comes, they, that's what they start picking, and when they start making new that famous or that rich, that's what everybody starts to fucking do. But as a stand up, there's a point in your career where you're gonna have to be what you are. Yeah. You know, not funny, right?

Internally. You know, but a lot of jokes is always gonna sell. It's always gonna work. There's new things where you tell stories of this one line is, but just firing off jokes that are funny is always gonna be, I mean look, you're always gonna get worried if you can write a joke absolutely, you can always find a job and you'll always be on there.

But I think there's guys that want to be like a Louis or a Chris or a Patrice or a Billy. And then there's people that just want to make money in the business. I think there's also people who have just don't understand. Like I want to be like one of them. I want to be the best dude in the fucking world. I want to make them laugh harder than anybody else.

And I think I watch comics show. Joe, can you tell him that's not gonna happen? I watch comics get off stage whisper this to Joe. I'm not whispering anymore. It's not happening. I watch comics get off stage and they don't even do that well. Yeah, maybe every joke on a little laugh And they're like crushed. I mean like I said rip it there immediately Tweeting out there doesn't annihilate. I say that's kind of a shitty set like that the standard

There's some people that just bomb and they don't even fucking they don't even they just walk off like nothing like they it was just fine I ruined my night like it ruins I if I fucking have an offset. I'm like what the fuck is that and I'm probably gonna Say something during the set like woof. I'm gonna let you know that I know People who like literally will stay in the joke Till the very last tag, and then get nothing, and then go, so anyways, and right into the next joke, I'm like, wow, that's kind of serial killer-ish. That's like craziness.

That's like, I am saying this no matter what, because I have no other option. Do you know what I mean? What is it better to be like, unaffected by the audience and just do what you're supposed to do or should you acknowledge it? I think, look, I don't, I think that it's a good question.

It's hard for me, because like if they're not going with me, I'm like, hey, you guys don't appreciate this. Right. And get that. We're all gonna have a shitty next 15 minutes. I think, I don't know. I love the cheat. She just announced how much time she basically does

all the 15 minutes. Well, in the city, do 15 minutes. I know I'm kidding it was a joke. Well I like that you do 15 minutes and you said 15 minutes so it's Immediately they are Opening joke just do do like five minutes Just whispering in the mic. Hang on a second, make your film more comfortable like your mom. Get her a hairbrush. Hello. Is that a masturbation thing?

No, the microphone in the mirror. Who massed you with your jerk over the hairbrush? What the fuck? What are you sticking your ass? The felon joke. Prickly side? I'm referencing in a tell bet and everyone turns on me. Like I'm a dick that's his joke

Yeah, you know, we don't do other comedians joke I know do it. I thought I was referencing we're all gonna be like oh David tell Yeah, we're not robots like you fucking reference mind, okay? We live our lives not fucking everybody else's what are you talking about? There was no one Joe gets hurt when he starts singing And Joey was saying to come in and have a drink. Joey's knowing Joe gets hurt when he starts singing. What are you talking about? No, no, no, no, no, no. Joe shoulders round and has put his head.

And his chin pokes into his chest. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know what's going on here. That's my Adam's apple, Lewis. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Joe does have a chin for an Adam's apple. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's the first thing I think. So does have a chin for an Adam's apple Nice first

Let's get back to Adrian's thinking Mom a lot everywhere you bomb That's it how else you wanted That was gonna be weird you don't really But you were taking the sips to a got really quiet actually very funny. How else do you want to do? That was gonna be weird. You don't really buy, but you were taking the sip, so it got really quiet. Actually, you're very funny. Oh, thank you. Chris, uh, he heard it for me, like, 10 minutes. Italian.

Italian, he's Italian too. That's another Jewish person. Yeah, well, fucking, he checks like it. Well, how come Chris gets credit? I talked about, she was the funniest comic in the city. Oh, Chris Italian. Chris Italian. He's like, Chris Italian.

He's like, Chris Italian should mean more. What? Who's a Chris Italian. Chris Italian. He's like Chris Italian. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, the show. So I was like, whatever. And then I told Chris that and he said, I have to have you

on because you're funny as shit. Adrian's the funniest girl. Oh, she's funny. You know, there's really blew me away the other night. I mean, who really hit the next level of comedy where I was like fucking just, she is a monster on stage. Amy Schumer. I look I've known Amy for that. She's a she's just blonde girl. She has a show on Comedy Central. What's that? It's a show. No Comedy Central. Oh it's a comedy channel. It's a network I was on seven years ago for four minutes. Is that a subway station? We got the joke. Can we move on? So, yeah, we, she fucking annihilated the other night. Like, while I was watching it like fucking hold shit, she is just funny, just fucking funny.

Every, she, and it's every 10 seconds, 20 seconds is just a fucking monster laugh. I can't believe how funny, she's unbelievable, man, really unbelievable. But, side note, yeah, Chris told me I have to have you on. So, here you are, what do you, yep? I think you're great, I think you're fucking great. Oh, thank you.

Come and shrug your shoulders at that, your manager. She has whispered some of the funniest shit of the the show yeah please go back and listen to her whispers haha uh... my my girlfriend is a comedian she had a great set last night she's been on the show yes Sarah is really funny Sarah Silverman is really funny too very funny I don't date Sarah Silverman uh... Talamachi is her last name Sarah Silverman is really funny too. Very funny. I don't date Sarah Silverman in a telemotions relationship.

Sarah Silverman is very funny. Yeah. She's one of my favorites. Can I just say something real quick about that? She was here at the other night too. The other night at the seller was Sarah, Norton, Colin,

Amy, and Louis, and myself, and Dar Darrell Hammond. We're all fucking. It's called pasty men and jubrads. Did they let you sit with them? Hang on a second. I'm gonna give it to you.

Thank God fucking Joe saved you with a really good one. Even though it hurt my feelings, like honestly, it made me feel bad. Like I could still taste it right here. All right. It was really, remember the time my stepfather came out when I was in the fourth grade, when you fucking idiot stupid! Well, who says idiot stupid back to back?

No, that's what I said. Then he hit me after I corrected him. He sounds like a real dumb dumb to me. Anyways, Sarah Silverman to me. Anyways, um, Saras, Saras Silverman to me is fucking smoking on. Yeah. There's something about her that drives me nuts. And I had a, I look, I love Kyle. I'm friends of them. I love, and I love that they're together. I love them together. But I had a dream. Oh boy. About Kyle. I love and I love that they're together. I love them together, but I had a dream Called rums. No, not about Kyle

Kyle done again you don't you fucking get into business Lewis and Know who's dating yeah, yeah, if you don't know Sarah Silverman's dating you're not in the business. Yes good point Thank you. You got to get your priorities straight. Thank you Joe. No Sarah Silverman is dating so she's Sarah Silverman is dating so she's She was dating a tell oh god no Would you mind if I read this real quick? I'm gonna die over here. I'm gonna throw up urine. Go ahead, she always gotta be it's like do you have diet fucking be I got problems? I got pee I drink a lot of tea and I have my dad is the same thing. I got real pee problem pee a fucking dad

I'm gonna screw it out of my penis. Jesus Christ. I put my penis on the palm of my hand and I punch it in it. Just go. What are you talking for? I'm trying to make a joke. Well, go make it to yourself and a mirror like our mother. The show is weird with our headphones on. Yeah, believe. Go pee. We gotta go. Go. What's stopping you?

Just go. Just go. You fucking darts Vader at the end of the return of the Jedi looking son of a judge. That's worthy. Give him the fucking bandana What do you mean? I got some open sores at this thing could a bandage up. Oh, good. Nothing And no, I had a fantasy about her. I had this really it's probably because they have an at sex in three months Well, you laughing at Nothing How long did it take you to have sex it was seven weeks? Seven weeks. That's it after my chicken baby. How long did it take you to jerk off? We talked about that

Actually, there's a podcast coming out this Thursday. I think it's a half hour quickie that I put out where Lewis go as Lewis J fucking go mess. What's the J stand for jerk off juice layer? What the fuck is a juice layer or juice layer juice? Juice layer. I like juice layer his wife was on and I guess She's still mad at him because he told he talked about on this podcast how he jerked off in the hospital bathroom While she was in labor in labor yet. She was in labor No, no, no, no, you know what I'm talking about dude, you know when you you have

You know what I'm talking about dude, you know when you you have fucking You know when you're look Adrian stuck because she has nobody to whisper to You know if you fucking walk around and you know you're not people to jerk off for a while Yeah, he's kind of jerk one out just to get it out of you. Yeah, it was one of those things Yeah, one of those things well his wife is in the other room. That's a little fun She wasn't in labor shot Shut the fuck up big Irish J. Jesus. She's already fucking mad at me.

Don't see don't get another dude on fucking her side. All right. Sam okay. Say it's normal. You're okay, man. No, it's not your safe. You're in a safe spot. Hey, you should.

You should. But wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. She was. She's in labor, though. Hey, you should. What's your real life? What'd you say, Adrian? You should have just kept that to yourself. I know.

That's what I should have done the semen. It's good to have a woman back on the show. You're absolutely right. He should just what's in labor, though? Don't announce it isn't in labor yet. Don't announce it on the podcast, right? Yes. I mean, don't listen to her because I need you to be honest as possible on the show. We need you. I need these fights so we have no content. Okay, but no, you're listen, but you're absolutely right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she came on. We did a mini episode.

She came on. It's coming out this Thursday, a mini episode where she confronts Lewis on being a piece of shit, a hunk of garbage. The baby's there, no, it's actually kind of fun. Yeah, the baby was there. What I don't know is what did you jerk off too? I don't want to get into this anymore. Yeah, my baby coming out. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

It's the circle of life. The idea was I saw his mouth coming out of her pulse. I was like, that seems convenient. Jesus. Jesus. I don't even know what to say to that. You're like, I don't have to do that anymore. I've never raised anything off this podcast. I want to edit that out. I'm not editing. I want to to that. I want to- You really gotta have to do that anymore. I've never raised anything off this podcast.

I want to edit that out. I'm gonna edit that out. I want to edit that. Where are you going? What do you have diabetes to? No, he's the- What is this guy? He's the co-founder of Potaholics.

I know what that means. I have a co-founder to, and he has a day job. So what's that? He runs the whole site. What does he do? That's it. He produces shows and produces all the content on there. Really?

Do you want to come under the umbrella of riot cast? Who would have potaholics? All of potaholics? The whole potaholics under riot cast. We talked to him. He's the brains. I'm the looks. The show's over.

All right, I'm going to read this real quick, guys. This is very, I'm in a good mood. I'm glad this crew is in. I'm in a shitty mood when I came in here and I feel badder. No problem. Not you. Mostly.

What? Mostly me, probably. Probably most of you, Joe. Also Rob said, if you want to announce, oh, we got a big announcement coming out. I'm very excited. Today? Yes. Well, it's gonna be Monday. Well, yeah.

Yeah, I'm saying you're announcing it now, though. Yeah. You said today, it's not really today. Yes. Okay. First of all, let's get to this Amazon.com Is one of our sponsors and so is the game flight. That's not an announcement. Shut the fuck up. I'm announcing it after this It's called the tease you fucking stupid idiot Is that to abrasive actually like Lewis? I like Lewis a lot you like it because he just pimped you out He just said don't don't you fucking disagree with me

He wouldn't be able to fucking pimp you like no no way guy that big you got to fucking tell him out is right away Because you can he's six foot eight you got to fucking yeah, but he's fucking he's got something wrong with him I'd be so hurt if somebody put the word actually before the sentence. I like Joe Actually, I like Lewis. I actually like I like it. Usually I get I hate Lewis So and actually I like Lewis is a big step up. No, but they actually implies that most people don't. No, he know he nailed it. Lewis did come into us like, here's something you just stared at me. Stared. Well aggressive because he's a I don't think I do my plugs. I don't know how I got on this fucking. You should think about getting plugged.

No dude. That's bullshit. That's fucking. I'm gonna have a wig hair like you. I don't know how we got on this fucking you should think about getting plugged I gonna have a wig hair like you Your hair doesn't belong on your face. What does that mean? That means you're not as good looking at your hair No, certainly not, but the one thing I like beaker It's like what a meeker from the muppets. Oh yeah, I got a little bigger thing going on. Yeah, you do. Very lovable beaker. You do. You look like you have newborn baby hair. That is actually hilarious.

Beaker really does just have a whole as a mouth. That is really funny, dude. You have to feed Joe solids with a straw. All right, here we go. Amazon.com. If you're going to buy anything off of the internet, anything off of tech talk or anything at all, you can buy clothes and food and fucking electronics. Please go to ryecast.com slash Robert Kelly. And there's an Amazon link right on a page,

just bookmark that. So anytime you buy anything, anything of a tech talk that I talk about or whatever it is, use that link, use that page bookmark it and you'll be supporting our sponsors, which is great for us, great for you and great for them. So make sure you go to ryecast.com slash Robert Kelly and bookmark that page and anytime you buy anything off the internet, use that link and GameFlight.com is the... Shit man, it's the Netflix of video game. If you guys love video games, you the internet use that link and GameFlight.com is the shit man. It's the Netflix of video game. If you guys love video games, you need to go to GameFlight.com slash Y K W D and you will get a free 15 day two disc trial.

Okay. Make sure you go to Ryecast, GameFlight.com slash Y K W D and, uh, make sure you go to Riotcast, gamefly.com slash YKWD and join you get 15 days free. The new Rockstar games coming out right now. Right. The Rantaf auto was it's seven five, which I'm in. They last put me in another one. So make sure you get that game. Go buy it. Or go rent it. You came out today. Huh? You came out in another one. So make sure you get that game. Go buy it or go rent it. They came out today, huh? They came out today.

So make sure you, it has multiplayer. It's a fucking kick ass game. They really added a lot of new features into. Where is it this time? I think it's LA, but you can do three different characters now. You can do three different guys. It's, what they, he showed me a few months ago What's going on with this game and it's fucking crazy? It's a totally different experience

It has all the great features from the last games, but it's it's really new. I mean you don't have to you don't have to You know it's three different missions, three different people. You can choose to live whatever, the three different guys, you can go through there, who they are and what their missions are. It's really cool, it's unbelievable. The graphics are fucking sane. So go to GameFlight.com right now,

GameFlight.com slash YKWD, and get 15 days free or two-dist this trial and you can get that game and other games It's the netflix a video gaming and there's the last one before we get to the big big big big big big Holy shit fuck me suck a dick or a black dick announcement We have tweakedaudio.com, which I use.

A lot of people have used. They are very, very, very cool headphones. They're inexpensive. These aren't bows. These aren't amazing. Oh my God, these are headphones that you get. You throw in your bag. You throw in your car.

You keep, you get a few pairs. They're inexpensive. And now with our code, with our code, you get 33% off and free shipping. What's the code? Dude. Dude, type in dude at checkout and you get 33% off already inexpensive headphones. They have mic, non-mic, different colors, different styles. My favorite ones are the green and white ones. They kind of look like the the apple ones with the mic. They're fucking great. So 33% off and free shipping. Right now, if you use the code word, dude, dude, check out. Now for the good news, Adrian, you ready?

Yes. Are you sure you're ready? Yes. I want to see some excitement. You get an excitement? This is it. That literally is the most excited of a scene Adrian How about you? You're excited I'd rather have Adrian's non-excitement. I'd rather see your eyebrows go up again then to see whatever that was We have a new show coming to the network Another new one and I'm very I'm so excited to announce the show you have a luce he's cooking with Debbie But Lewis Jay Gomez the real dude I already have a show on the network You guys aren't getting along and I and it's not really scary. I think he's scared of Lewis you are you scared to Lewis

Why are you scared to Lewis? I'm scared to death of Lewis the tattoo What the birch trees yeah, whatever he got birch trees on his fucking and this is the thing when he loses weight It's just gonna be a mess and when he gains weight again. It's just gonna look shitty Why fucking birch trees? What is a birch tree? It's a tree? Beginning, it's the tree. Why couldn't you just get new beginnings the the words? So we can know what it means because it has a beginning. It's the true, why couldn't you just get new beginnings, the words, so we can know what it means. Because it has a symbolism, it's artistic. Yeah, but it's artistic, is what it is. There's 95 of them.

Just get one birch tree with something carved in it, so we can know what it is. Why do you want trees by the way? We'll tell you about this. I told you, symbolize the new beginning. Why do you want trees, like why trees? Because you said that you want. Because I smoke a lot of trees, son. No, why did you want game. Why do you want trees? Like why trees? Because you said that you want... Because I smuggle out of trees, son.

Now why did you want trees? Why did I want trees? Yeah, because I thought it looked cool. Yeah, the key word is thought. You should have run this bias. How would you think about that tattoo before you got it? I, it's been designed for like probably six months. Designed?

What do you have a team? What do you, HDTV? What the fuck do you mean designed? Who designed it? You walked in the day I'm gonna go, dude, I want bird's trees. It's a sign of new hope in life. It goes, what's a bird's tree?

And you Googled it. And he drew the first picture that came up on image go body. Well, I don't care for your buddy. Your buddy fucked you. No, he didn't do it. Somebody should have talked you out of that. I'm not really your buddy. If, I don't care for your buddy your buddy fuck you. No, he didn't buddy should have talked you out of that I'm not really your buddy. If you told you to get that I can't even it looks like bamboo. Is it sure?

It's not bamboo fucking bird's trees. He did my rose. He did you What you guys are shooting on so much that I have to switch sides and tell him I like it Yeah, the new show coming out I'm very excited to announce. I don't have a date yet, so don't. We are going to have that very soon, but the new show that's coming to the Rycast Network, the funniest network on the fucking planet,

Barnum is, do you guys know? No. Wh whispering with Adrian. Boom! Oh! Nice! That's right baby. Nick Depalo is coming to the Ryakass network. His new show is coming to the network. We're very excited. He is back.

His back where he should be. In front of a microphone, spitting out his fucking thoughts, his opinions, his comp- and shut up, Louis, his comedy. He is one of the funniest guys on stage, one of the funniest guys behind a mic. Him on radio, to me, is one of the most interesting, dynamic fucking, just says what he feels, doesn't hold back.

I love Nick DePollo. He is one of the funniest guys on the planet, comedy-wise, and then doing radio, and now he's doing a podcast, his podcast on the Ryakast Network. We are excited to have him. It's gonna be fucking epic this show. Because you know what, with a podcast, nobody can tell him what the fuck to say.

Nobody can tell him what to do. He's gonna do whatever the fuck he wants. It's just him. He, it's unbelievable. It's gonna be an unbelievable shit once a week or everything. Right now it's gonna be once a week. But here's the thing, he's gonna be able to do whatever the fuck he wants. If something happens, he'll be able to jump on the air. But it's going to be once a week, it's on the riot cast network, it's the newest show that's coming out.

We've been holding on to this for a while. It all came to fruition. Last week, we're very excited. It's going to be huge. I can't wait to listen to it. I used to love listen to his old podcast When he did it out of his house Nick dip. I think it was right? What's this one called? Nick the Paula the Nick the Paula fucking all you need man. It's all you fucking need Nick the Paula. That's the name of the show So it's more information becoming out soon We're redoing the whole website. We're read a lot of shit new shits happening So we added you know, Mandy stat mella who's killing it on the network right now We're redoing the whole website. We're a lot of shit, new shit's happening. So we added, you know, Mandy Statmilla,

who's killing it on the network right now. She's skyrocketed past all expectations, thousands of people listening to her show right now. She's doing her show and now Nick DePolo. And we have, we're gonna be adding more too. But this Nick is fucking, oh my God, I was one of my favorites. And I'm very excited to have him.

So Nick the Paulo, welcome you to the network. Make sure you, when his show comes out, you subscribe, you review and you retweet, and you like, and you do all the shit that we need. You all 50,000 people that listen to this show, you go the fuck over there and listen to that show. Okay, make sure you support him. todo lo que tenemos, todos 50.000 personas que les Listen a este show, te vas a ver con eso, y te Listen a ese show. Ok, por favor te suportes a todos

los nuevos shows, todos los shows en RiotCast, excepto el uno. Jim Florentin, el metal comedy. No, I love that show. So, that's it, Nick DePolo es el que viene a la RiotCast,

baby, muy emocionante. Suéñez con un futuro más allá de los estudios de grado, gracias a las becas de Paulos, ¡come to the ride cast baby! ¡Verdad! en la caa.com. Ahora, ¿ya lo you go off the runway and fucking, sorry. Well, sorry about what, you're absolutely right. Well, you made a weird face. Oh, that's because I gas. Sorry. Sorry about that. Yeah, you're absolutely right, Joe.

You should applaud when you get to the gate. Right. Right? That's whenever, that's when everybody farts, too, when they get to the gate. You ever notice that, the plane starts to stink as soon as they're they get to the gate. You ever notice that the plane starts to stink as soon as they're pulling up to the gate like everybody's pressure gas just is released. That's plane farts. It's like a dream's whispers. You, I spent hours convincing Nick to do a podcast. When?

All right. Quite a while ago. A few months ago. Yeah, he, I'm like, four hour car ride. He is, he should, man, as he should be doing podcast. Of course. I mean, no, he's the most perfectly designed person for a podcast.

He should be on radio every day, but the thing is, is that he should be on radio. I mean, I don't I don't get why serious hasn't picked him up I don't understand why they didn't hand him a show. I know they don't want to give him the money They don't want to pay him what he should be paid But if I if I was in business I would have him I would have a show and put him right on there I don't I don't get it, you know, but this is the age of you know Let's give Justin Bieber a fucking network and not give Nick DePolo who should be in front of a microphone talking Yeah, well, this is where Nick needs to be without a boss. No boss. It's him at his house That's the key. Yeah, he gets to stay on him. He's got a studio at his house. Yeah, everything's gonna be set up there and

You know, it's I can't wait because you know I love to hear his rant. He's gonna rant about good stuff You know what? Yeah, I don't care if you agree or disagree with him He he can't fuck with somebody who's being as honest as a guy like that. It's hilarious Yeah, because everybody censors themselves except for Lewis. Yeah, mix it real as dude. He is a except for Lewis. Mixed with us, dude. He is a real... And he's done like a lot of other real-ass dudes

where he's like, he's funny, you know? Yeah, exactly. Some guys, he's just real-ass dudes. Yokes. Yeah, he is fun and jokes. He'll actually laugh. It's not just him promoting himself. Real-ass dude, right?

Exactly. He's so funny to a man. Every time I've worked with Nick it's just fucking hilarious. Every time we got mad at him we were doing just for laughs. The fuck was it? Nasty show. The first time I did the nasty show. It was a tell CK, DiPolo and Gerardo. Amateur hour. Yeah, yeah. Jesus. Jesus. And I'm on the show and I'm like, of course I'm fucking nervous. And you know Nick can be a little fucking ball busty. Also.

He can, well you walk up to the room. Jesus Christ Kelly, you got fat. All right, way to ease into a fucking fat joke. Just, I'm thinking that the whole subway right down, when I sat down in the little Asian lady couldn't get next to me on the two-seater on the train. Nick, I felt fat. When I got up and I could take a piss and I couldn't button my pant back up. But now I walk in and, hey fat fuck. Nick's one of the few guys that bust balls,

it's definitely one-on-one with his no audience. Yeah. He's like, you get the teeth of a British nanny, wearing his hotel room. I'm like, I was. So maybe we could just chat. And then, what time we're eating an apple? He's like, you get the teeth of a British nanny wearing his hotel room. I'm like, I love it. So maybe we could just chat. And then I went to him and I'm eating an apple. I'm like, how do you eat an apple without floss?

He goes, well, I don't have the teeth of a jack-a-lantern. Literally, it's him and I in his hotel at like one a.m. And I'm like, wait, we could turn it off. I don't know, I'm just two friends. Who would sing one on one? Like, that's, I don't understand what the purpose of that is, even. Hello, when he made fun of Patrice, I heard the story of Patrice got back from test of diabetes, he says, I have AF 10 things that

kill a black guy, he goes, one of them a hanggun. It was funny. But you said the N word and I don't want to say it. This is the funny part about that. He said wow you're delivering sticks holy shit my god I'm like I heard Adrian whisper on that one he just said was that supposed to be funny is he always here I think Kelly should be back. I like Kelly. I took another sip.

Woof. Yeah, he, uh, I remember we were doing the just for laughs. And I was so nervous, Nick was hosting. And then he, I go on, and I come off, and he goes, Jesus I'm as I'm exiting he's going back on He goes Jesus Christ blah blah blah blah blah blah and I thought he said would you still would you fucking stow like you stole those jokes or something like that I was so waiting for him to smash me and to give me shit that I thought he said and I went went back down and said, I was so fucking mad. He said, I just had a killer set on a show

that I was already intimidated on. And Louie's like, what's wrong? And I'm like, that motherfucker. It's like, dude, what the fuck? You know, I'm just, I just had a good set. And he said, you know, he said some shit. I don't know, like you're fucking hacker. You're fucking, you know, something like that.

And I was like, what the fuck? He's like, that, are you sure? I'm like, yeah, dude, fuck it, forget it. I was like, fuck him, forget it. And then we did the next show. And Louis comes up to me and goes, you fucking idiot. I go, why, he goes, he said, oh, he's shit. When did you get that funny?

Would you steal jokes? Because he was saying that I was really, really funny. It was a fucking unbelievable compliment that Nick Dupallo was giving, which I've never got. And I was such an insecure fucking fatty that I was like, he fucking told me I stole jokes. Well, I almost cried. Am I just,

I fucking ass, hold on. I was like in a boss a little while ago, and he was like, hey man, is Nick all right? And I was like, yeah, and he's like, is he sick, right? I was like, I don't think so. And he's like, oh, he called me and told me he heard one of my bits on serious and he said he liked it Boss study was sick He's a kinder-generaler. Wow, his house is amazing. Yeah, yeah You know, we all went to a real picnic

Wasn't a picnic it was a barbecue. My picnic was the best picnic of all time. You're a good barbecue. You're a good barbecue. You're a fucking worse. Why can't you just give him a compliment on a nice barbecue? You're gonna bring him a picnic that was great?

Yeah, because you're a picnic. Were you at the picnic, Adrian? No, but I heard you talk about it on your podcast. It's a terrific picnic. They you showed up with your whole family. It was like one balloon out. It was a fucking great picnic. It really was one balloon and fucking like eight like alternative girl comics Yeah, they like had you and you had your wife and they had fucking tofu French fries out on the fucking on a dirty blanket

It was like it was like I show up. Gary's coming and Louis. He named all my friends But he but people showed up at different times. Everybody showed up and left because nobody they wanted to see was there, except for Joe and his girlfriend. I had a blast. Yeah, of course you think, because you knew everybody. You know, maybe you could have got to know some people.

Yeah, that was hard when I show up and they look up to me like, he brought a kid. like he brought a kid. I thought it was a wonderful picnic. I thought it was a nice gesture. Fucking bandana. I'll take the head. And I don't give a fuck.

I thought it was a nice. I'm a real ass fucking dude. I'll wrap that right around there. I thought it was a nice gesture. It's like everyone together. You know what? You're not a fucking gesture You get you get sad when I don't call you for things you get mad when I do call you guys go

You're not an easy call. Here's the thing. You're a tough friend. I called soda up They're all having breakfast at this amazing place. Well call me for that Can I get a call for the fucking brunch great breakfast? Yeah, let me get a brunch I had some real hum dingers. You got me on a hot fucking field with one balloon and a frisbee and I got a fucking three month Oh, baby. Jay just quietly made a fat joke. What do you say? I said they don't think you want to eat? Very insensitive. It just doesn't I would when I'm looking at three of his chins as he says a fact You're a real jerk. It is really sensitive

Jesus we're trying to have a nice conversation here about how quick it might t-thar and how retarded Lewis is Yeah, I don't even know what's happening with Chris to be honest He ruined a Apollo joke, which is not easy to do. Oh my god Adrian doesn't know how to microphones work, but we're having fun. A.S.S.S.A.R.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B.A.R.B. get that chair? Wait, run here with something funny. Hello. Dad's a dad to me. Your father died. No, that was great. That was great.

I was actually a good mother. I fucking love you, mom. I was a good time in my life. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I haven't had a father. I haven't had a father either. So I think it was for her birth. There was something she didn't want me to get her gift.

She just wanted me to help her write some jokes. Oh, that's kind of nice. That's sweet. I like that. That was sweet. her birthday or something she didn't want me to get her gift she just wants me to help her write some jokes. Oh boy. Oh that's kind of nice. That's sweet. I like that. That was sweet. That's not funny. What a mean daughter.

Give her some of your bits that don't hurt. That's real. Just fucking. Can't do so. Good work. Alright. Do you think about suicide? Hmm.

Months and a while. Really? Not as much anymore, but sometimes. What's what? What? What's your why you like? I'm having fun. This is a great group. Hmm, once in a while really not as much anymore, but sometimes what what what Joe why you love having fun. This is a great group. This should just be the show. We got a roll out I really like this group. I am I'm a guy. I mean this should be the show. I'm an agreement except for one The right side of this room, including fucking guest boy right side of this room, including fucking guest boy. I'm kidding.

Oh, Jesus. He doesn't look like you find out he's a billionaire. You know what I'm saying? Like you like fucking invented Google. Oh yeah. I like that everyone's got a fucker. At least one bomb today, I feel like. I've had seven.

Yeah. So I want to, that interests me though, when you think, I don't know if I'm a, from an egomaniac or a narcissist that I don't think about suicide. I think about getting hurt, you know, like having something happen where I wind up in the hospital

and then people feel bad for me. And I'm not ripping on you because I go through this now, is it because of getting older? Like do you, have you changed? Because I'm, I think we're the same age. How old are you? I'm 42.

You're 42? Yeah. Yeah, you look good, dude. You look way younger than Bobby. All right, well, thanks. He looks younger than me. Yeah, yeah. Yes.

I thought you were like five or six. I thought you were like 24 or 28. Well, fucking, wait up. We had this talk in Bellevue. Shut up shut up listen in Bellevue Gantissima They don't live that long I think you look great. I wait a minute look at me look at me. Wait. We got to look at me for a second I am but I you know my eyes look at don't try and change your face. Wait, how old was Marlon Brando in

pop-ups now? Dr. Marone. You look 42. You look healthy. There's no way I look 42. You look like I'm younger than 42. How old are you? Like 47? I look 40. I'm 40 fucking two. Okay. You look how old do I look? Do I look 42? I tell you look for 38 Yeah 38 Any time you want to be on this show anytime you have something to play you call up Lorraine what the fuck is your name again? Best Italian name ever Lorraine Lorraine. That's not even an Italian name. That's not an Italian name. Lorraine Broco. Is it a brain block of Italian?

That's not real. You Lorraine. What about Lorraine McFly? Lorraine, I need it. OK, here's a deal. I think it's a weird to think about. When you think about killing yourself, is it, I'm serious about this.

I'm serious about this. Jesus. What'd you say? I missed it. What'd you say? I'm not gonna repeat it. You have to repeat it. You have to repeat it. You have to repeat it. You have to repeat it.

He's gonna tell you all the jokes. He's gonna tell you all the jokes. He's gonna tell you all the jokes. What do you say? I think you really missed it. I said you should have it after her act. Oh, come on. Oh, that is so insensitive.

Listen, I know what. Listen, listen. I think I think it was that funny. Oh, come on. Oh, that is so insensitive. Listen, I know. It's insensitive to goons. Listen, I didn't think it was that funny. Can I ask what the joke is about first? You're acting a bit. You don't have to do the joke. You have a suicide joke, right?

I have a couple. She has a suicide act. That whole thing's not. It's like nine minutes. Oh, shut up. So what are you talking about? I don't have to do the joke, because I know that's uncomfortable.

But what's the idea, the premise of the joke? Want me to tell it? Which? That's easy, you tell a joke. How much do you get a great one? My boyfriend said he wanted to kill himself, which made me mad, because I want to kill myself,

and then they'll think that we were in love. You messed up. I had a suicide pact. My boyfriend said he wanted to kill himself, and I thought great, now I won't be able to kill myself or people will think we were in love. That's pretty funny. That's funny. Get the gist. Now I think Russ Maniv is a great

a serious joke. Have you? Have you? That one? It's great. What is it? It's like a it's fucking outgoing message on his phone. It's his rassman. He's like when you're a kid you hear people commit suicide. You're like, oh my God, how could anybody commit suicide? But then you get older, like, God, get it. That's a funny joke. Yeah, it's a funny joke. Have you ever thought about committing suicide? Yeah. A lot. Please more. Could you, could you, could you,

have been your act of kindness? Yeah, could you. That would have been great. Just one. Yeah. I'm a little bit stuttery here because I could do a tale of the tape of YouTube. I mean, it would be. And this corner, this corner, I do the same boys for everything.

Oh boy. Wow. Have you ever thought about killing yourself, Scope? Yeah. Really? I would debt surprises, oh my God, all the time. Have killing yourself scope? Yeah, really? Yeah, I would that surprises him Oh my god all the time. Have you seen all the time? Yeah, listen brother. Come on stop. Listen to me. Why you'll stay on the Podcast and why I'm getting bet honestly before Alan and

My not okay yesterday. I had a terrible day yesterday because of my sobriety and I really wanted to drink. That's like uncle's golf outing and everyone was drinking and I really, really wanted to drink. I'm gonna say something to you right now. I'm gonna say something to you right now. Kill yourself. I didn't know you were sober. Why don't we share this? You should be hanging out.

Touch dick. I'm touching Jesus Christ. Look at me, scope. Look at me. I'm really surprised. Scopo, scope, look at me. Seriously. Stop it. Listen to me. I want anytime you feel that wayopo, scopo, look at me. Seriously, stop it, listen to me. I want anytime you feel that way in the future,

I want you to call me a day or night, okay? It's just not between 9.30 AM and 5 o'clock PM. There's two hours you can call me. And then from eight to nine, I'm usually doing shows, 9.30. Around 10, right after I kill myself. 10 to 11, 10 to 11.30, cool, I'll probably walk the dog. And always text them first. No, seriously, look at me.

Anytime you feel that way again, you think you're gonna drink or you fucked up, honestly go call me. All right, thank you. I don't care where I am, what I'm doing. I will pick up the phone. And if I don't pick up the phone, you text me and say, look, I need to talk.

I'll know what that means, because I don't want you to, you're new and sobriety, right? Yeah, five and a half months. Dude, listen to me, you call me anytime you need to fucking talk about that. Any, and I'm't want you to, you're new and sobriety, right? Yeah, five and a half months. Dude, listen to me, you call me anytime you need to fucking talk about that. Any, and I'm serious.

I will, thank you. Don't put yourself, don't, don't try to do shit on your own. That's the biggest problem we have, as you try to figure this shit on our own, and we try to muscle through it, and then when you wind up drinking, and you're right back at square one, and you're fucked,

and you don't know where you're gonna be after that. You don't know where that one day is gonna take you. You might not make it back. You might fucking jump in a car and ride off a fucking road. You understand what I'm saying? That's why I didn't do it, because I was like, I was really close to getting having a beer and I was just like,

I don't just don't shit's going well for you. It's going in the right direction. I mean, not retelling other people's jokes. Everything else I'm sure is going pretty well. And why don't you tell me these things? What comrades? I don't know. Can I call you Bobby when I want to eat? Bobby, what are you doing? What? What the fuck? I call you when I want to eat. What? You can't let me know that this guy, he's sober. I just found out right now, Jeal. Jesus. Are you literally making this about you? Are you making this about you? It's about him,

you fuck. I got a little wisdom to give. Well, tell him he could call you also. That's what I'm doing right now Yeah, you're fighting with your dragon man I didn't know he was fucking sober you fucking dry drunk Joe I'm gonna dry drunk. They're not a dry meeting fucks directly from a meeting. You fuck well Wait, you need another one after this. I'm going know another one after this good go to another one you want to Carot What are you saying you gonna you call me when you want to eat yeah Yes, what are you you've outlived there already so don't worry about it. Yeah. Yeah, what are you gonna?

Where you call me? What are we gonna talk about? It was a fucking. I know I'm joking with it. I'm ruining your job. Yeah, what are you? What are you gonna? Where you gonna call me? What are we gonna talk about? It was a fucking. I know I'm joking with it. I'm ruining your job. Yeah, appreciate it. Have you ever thought about? No, I'm not gonna ask you. No, never you've never thought about doing stuff. No, never never No, wow Really? I find a rope long enough That only half makes it not long enough study No, but kind of makes it Makes it not long enough, buddy. I didn't know that kind of makes it. It's a please it's a lot of wisdom

I'll be fun to low. I'll be fun to rope wide enough to go around your fat neck No, I and I did no don't physically touch people you take it too far, Lewis He's a pet monkey make him two more of those good acts I want to make him do more of a better act on stage That should be his next punishment. You have to get a six good minutes of material. Go ahead before it comes back on the show Yeah Podcasts will be done by then. Yeah, I know the fad will be over nice shirt. I wore to a meeting. I know Asshole, there's some fucking poor drunk in the corner going that's my drink a choice That's why I had to wear it. I wore in the corner going, that's my drink of choice.

That's why I had to wear it. I wore my jacket. I didn't wear it. Anyways. I haven't gone to meetings. I don't do that. I just, just stop. That's why you want to drink it.

Your golf game, you dumb dumb. Yeah. Why don't you take him to a meeting? What are you going on another one? Well, I'm leaving. Next Tuesday's the next time I'll be one. Next Tuesday go. Oh, wait.

Yeah, Tuesday. What time? 12, 15. To what time time 1 15 where is it at downtown right downtown why don't you go with them next Tuesday okay all right so next Tuesday there you go that's my guy that's my go-to okay they don't they go and you so you you thought about it now you thought about I really want to get in there. You thought about killing yourself. Yeah. Oh yeah. Recently? No.

Like how? How would you case? But did you think about it? I would go to the Empire State Building. Jesus. And it's not possible, but if you climb up, I would shoot myself with my freighter heights and then just fall.

Because I want me to get a spot. You want to shoot yourself and then fall. Yeah. That's a big spectacle. Yeah, I know. And somebody's got a cleaner. Listen, if I'm going out, I'm going out in've got clean it up from going out and going out and style what pills and Evan don't about in a while because I ounce helping me

But when you think what do you mean think about it like oh I could kill myself. What do you think about it like? Wouldn't do I wouldn't do it because I wouldn't want to put my parents do that. Yeah, before I had a kid I'll tell you one of the first thoughts I had after I had a kid. I got to kill them first. I'll tell you, one of the first thoughts I had after I had a kid was, wow, it's really weird. Like, suicide is not an option. Because that was always an option. Like, if it ever got so bad, I always said, well, I could always kill myself. And it was never like a dramatic, like, ass-holing thing.

I was saying, look, it really just became too unbearable. I think I could actually do that. You know, I've been in like some, you know, dark place, but after you have a kid, you know, now I genuinely can't. So now I just hit my wife. She's nothing funny about the fact that you took us down that train of seriousness and we were like, wow, Lewis is actually making it. Yeah. And then you hit it at the end, unless you truly hit that bitch. Yeah. Now that's funny. Thank you. Oh boy.

I've never thought about killing myself, but I think about dying, I think about dying, and I think about how sad it would be if I died. Like I would leave my wife, my kids, and people that I have guys like even you guys, I, you know, to leave you wife, my kids, and people that I have, you know, guys like even you guys, I, you know, I, you know, to leave you guys and have you, because I've had friends die.

And I know what happens to us after you're gone. And it's a whole. I still, I still go to talk to Patrice. I still go to fucking, I'm gonna, I still have those moments where I'm like, let me, do you still have his number in your phone? I still do. And it's, you know, I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe he's fucking gone. You know, so for somebody to, but for somebody to kill themselves, it just, it saddens me.

I abuse myself. I'll abuse myself with sex, with fucked up thoughts and, you know and dirty things. Even when I jerk off, it's abuse. It's not, I know you jerk off, who gives a fuck? No, it's not. I jerk off and the stuff I jerk off to is abusive shit. It's fucking vile shit because I want to feel fucked up

because I want to feel bad. That's how I punish myself where I do that with food. I'm fat. I'm overweight. It's so hard for me to get home right now to back to where I want to be, but that's my punishment. That's my suicide. I don't want to kill myself, but the people that get to the point where you're actually thinking about ending it

is such a fucking crazy sad place to be you know because It always gets better. It always gets better. It doesn't get not herbues. It never Herbys gets better too. It doesn't stay a sore all the time. Joe. Yeah, it's much better.

I'm fine. Yeah, he grows that beard, it covers it right up. I don't know. I'm not a mouth herbys. But I do have a beard in my penis as well. Very uncounted. That's the beard I meant. But yeah, it always gets better.

And this would make me not want to kill myself, is that all I need, and I've said this since day one in comedy, I need a key to have a roof over my head. I need to not get cold in the winter and too hot in the summer and rained on. I just need a place to put my head down, and I need a little food, whatever the fuck food that may be.

If it's noodles or noodles, or I know. But that's all you need really. To be happy. I mean, I lived in shitholes and we had the best times in my lives. You know, when I lived in the shithole of the bird and the one in Boston before that, and I've never had a nice place until the last six years of my life, or the last 10 years of my life when I started making a little money, but it gets crazy

now where I get overwhelmed and fucked up and sad and but if you fucking end it, if you end it, if you say fuck it, the path you leave behind you is just crazy. It's just crazy, you know? Absolutely. And it, well, it's, I understand it though. I understand like when you have, have you ever got to the point where you tried it? No. Never.

You know, you didn't get to the point where you're like, I'm gonna go, how would you do it? Pills? Pills. So you just pop pills. I think that would be the way, if I was gonna do it, I wouldn't jump out of a fucking building

or shoot myself. And I had a friend who's a social worker who actually told me the right way to kill myself. Can you, can you tell me that? I don't think I should why I'm not gonna do it. You don't want people to hear it. Yeah, the person should be fired Wait, I want to hear what do you mean? Yeah, it sounds like it. This is how you kill yourself Listen to me. My thing is I would have just taken them all at once. You don't do that. No, you don't you do it one of the time I'm not telling you guys. Why? I can whisper it. So then Google it. Hang on one second. I understand why you don't want to tell

because you don't want people listening to fucking. But that's not the right way. And that's the that you you give me. So there's someone out there right now going I'm going to kill myself right after the YKWD podcast today. I'm going to take all these pills. I don't know. I got all right. Six pills every half an hour. That's what they said I'm just kidding Anyway, I don't understand so if what happens if you take them all at once you just fuck them up Oh, that makes sense. It's right too much and you stomach throw them up right So basically don't take them all

You crush them on the snort him. I understand listen. I understand what you're doing But you're not listen. We're not This isn't Mark Marren show So you're only gonna kill two people. Yeah, and hopefully it's that one guy that I fucking hate from Twitter Why which guy do you hate the guy because I love him with his fucking kids? I love like tweets at me every time I'm on do I did I block him? I think you blocked him I did I The other one of the other one of the other fans that is kids are ugly. I thought it was funny.

Oh, I had a good tweet at me. It's pretty tweet for the show. He goes, hey, fat Matt Damon, where are the pictures? That's pretty funny. So it's pretty good. All right, so you don't want to tell it. I mean, I don't. You're on my talent, I went on my talent.

Look, let me just say this to you. Tell me the mic. And I'll make you make your decision. I understand why you don't want to, because it's like, look, I don't want to explain how you can make a pipe bomb, because I'll make you how you can make your decision. I understand why you don't want to because it's like look I don't want to explain how you can make a pipe bomb because I don't want terrorists Listening to the YKWD go kill people Wouldn't it be cool if they were listening though if you

Make me fucking if they be fucking if they she's a I could tell us we're taking time out of their data listen to the podcast when you be like that's all men's and Kelly is gone it has got not better why are they Indian that's all that's all the action they're no longer terrorists because Kelly's gone that was their whole shit I just don't think that you know somebody listening to the show is going to kill themselves and go, oh, that's the way to do it, but I understand. And I'll say it's not your job. Let her say it. She said you either drink a couple milk and...

Well, gee, that's really, don't say that. Now, people are going to kill themselves. Fuck you, tell me to say it. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Go ahead I'm a cup of milk or a slice of bread and then you take a pill every minute or something like that Good to know there's only works of your lactose Jesus Christ is gonna kill himself. It's only works if you're lactose intolerant. How terrible would you? You're gonna have a cup of ice cream two scoops of ice cream not almond milk Yeah, probably I'd be like real milk.

I have to do three slices of craft singles of my kin. And one pinch of mozzarella cheese. I think it's every one to two minutes for you to take another one. And one vanilla and bring them a scoop of ice cream. You throw some salt over your shoulder, you say prayer, and then you're done. If you, I love that, Chris went, that's how you do it.

I hope, Chris, I love you, but I hope you use this technique and she just to have her back on the show go, how do you feel now? Scopus dead. I'd be like, well, I got a week off from work, so it's pretty good. It tends to be sad. Do you have a day job?

What is it? I work in a law office. A law office? A law office. A law office. What's a law office? I think it's related to locks. I thought that was pretty fun. I took it all the way back to the beginning. Oh, everyone below me. I was back in the beginning and you didn't show up. Yeah, that is, I didn't know that. That is pretty creepy that there is a way to kill yourself with pills.

It's almost better that people don't know that. Well, now they do. No, it's not everybody, but not the world. If you listen to decrees, you'll know why. We have three less listeners this week. There's like a suicide bag you can buy online. What are you talking about? It's a thing, you can like look it up,

suicide bag, I think it's a call or something like that. And it's like this gas and batting, you can sell it and like a kit. So it's a bag you put over your head? Yeah, because you can't just suffocate yourself because of some reason, something. You're instant, you can't actually suffocate yourself. You won't allow, you can't drown yourself

without tying a rock to your foot. You know what I'm saying? You couldn't just go underwater and send one to drama stuff. Your instincts will, How do you know this? It's a fact, you can't. Have you tying a rock to your foot. You know what I'm saying? You couldn't just go underwater and send one to drown yourself. Your instincts will... How do you know this? It's a fact. You can't. Have you time to rock to your foot?

Was that your father? You just... You can't put a pillow over your face and smothered yourself to death. Hang on, let him laugh. You were laughing at you, little baby goma being a real last dude trying to swim back to the top of the pool. You had a fucking brick tied to his foot. God. That's probably true.

Yeah, dude, you can't actually, you couldn't just stop breathing. I'm gonna, I'm gonna kill myself by stopping breathing. Your instincts will kick in, your survival instincts kick in, you don't, you don't do it. Right. You know what I'm saying? You could jump off a building because you're making an decision to jump. You know, I watched that movie The Bridge. Have you heard about that?

Oh, yeah. We talked about it on the set. Okay, yeah, well the guy jumps off and the first thought that he jumped off was oh no, no, no, no, no The first time was like I fucked up. I don't want to jump That's fucking nuts and he lived that the documentary battle with people that jump Creepy as fucking yeah, that was the first thought he had as soon as he jump was No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you something. You promise not to, if it's wrong, it's not to tell anybody, you bomb, listen, joow. You promise not to tell anybody this. That's actually a really good already.

I, um, I, uh, I thought that, um, I was gonna, you know, I just sat there and I took the pills and most people regret it and, uh, want to, um, call the cops right away. And I just sat there and I fell asleep. Kinda like I'm doing on my show right now. That is good. We here this weekend. All right, we next month we got

Neon as pompous. Who's this guy? Oh. Where's Nick? I know. That is your best fucking hit with you for two years

finally found a talent all right let's go the met on let's see what the met said don't right now my father love the jersey boys ha ha ha anyways that's in the book

and he said he's waiting he just sat there waiting. He just sat there waiting for that feeling. He said that feeling never kicked in. Sort of. Did any of you say that he wanted the feeling to get high, he didn't care what the consequences were? He wanted to get high again. I can't remember.

It might have been different conversations. Yeah. It is in his book for sure. I'm not. People who kill themselves, I mean, I think it's one of the saddest things. I think what makes me sad, I get a little cry, is the days or weeks of moments before it,

is that somebody, literally somebody could just come in and talk to that person and make them feel good. I don't know if that's really true. Absolutely. You could, I believe that you could come in and talk to somebody and- The people that are that dark. Do my mom might kill herself.

I don't actually know. She had died of a heroin overdose. We know. So she fucking, there was no dude that was gonna come in. All right, I'll say this. I'll say this, not heroin addicts, not drug addicts or alcoholics because I don't think there's a choice in the matter because you have to get sober,

but people who take pills or jump off a building or shoot themselves who aren't addicted to a substance where the control is not in, when they have the control, when you can walk in and say, how are you today? And you can go, I'm sad. And I can talk to you and take you out,

and we can go laugh, and we can have fun, and your psychological well-being the Juicies in your brain literally release and make you happy Where you feel better about that moment or that day? I believe that you can you can talk to somebody about that and get them out of that mode Did you see the end of what women want and that's what is inspiring this whole fucking speech right now? I did see the end of it.

There's the other reason why I'm the only one laughing in the room. There's even fucking, uh, Lakase, what's your last name? Lakase, can't be. Lakase. Lakase. Lakase. Is that right now black? Lakase.

Lakase. Lakase. Lakase. Lakase. Lakase. Lakase. Lakase. Lakase't, look, Keisha. She didn't, yeah. She didn't, you know, look at man. I believe that, I believe that. I believe that you can, I'll say it three times in a row.

But it depends if those people are willing to say I'm sad. Like when you came in, you were like, I'm not having a good day. I did, yes. And then now you said you're feeling better. I feel better, I feel better, I feel. You saved your life. I have to say, I feel better talking about it.

Because I was having a shitty day. Right. And I didn't want, I just keep it to myself. I feel better talking about it. I was having a shitty day. Right. And I didn't want, I just keep it to myself. I'm not really. Yeah. And now I feel better. I feel like you feel as soon as you look at the whole, the certain programs that are founded on a one person talking to the other person about what the fuck's going on. That's it. You want to cure something? You want to stop being a drug addict or an alcoholic? You have to open up to another person and let them know what the fuck's going on. And they can relate. Once somebody relates to you, you connect. Once you connect, this is what we do. And there's something to live for. You understand? So talking to somebody in some way, some fashion, having somebody in

your life, a friend or a therapist or your wife or your boyfriend or whoever the fuck it is, if you keep shit inside, that's the worst thing in the world. But if you can go somewhere and listen to somebody else, tell your story or you can say to somebody, I'm feeling bad today or shitty or I'm having a bad day and someone can listen to you or, tell your story or you can say to somebody, I'm feeling bad today or shitty, or I'm having a bad day and someone can listen to you or tell you I'm having a bad day too, you'll instantly feel better. Because life is pretty simple.

You don't need a lot to be happy. We have a lot of expectations on ourselves, especially comics or anybody in this business. But we have these amazing expectations. And every day, not only do we see people reaching the goals that we want, and in ways that don't seem fair, or seem unattainable, or way too hard, and we still push on. So, but life is real simple. You just need to eat, you need a roof over your head, you need to be happy with the people around you. You can live in your mother's basement and have a beautiful, unbelievable life.

You can live with your wife and an apartment. There's families, you don't need a house. There's families that raise huge families and apartments and pay rent. They're whole fucking life and they're fine. That shit doesn't matter. You can go lower than that. There's people that live in huts, there are real countries that are happy. I think they need less to be happy. life and they're fine. That shit doesn't matter. You can go lower than that. There's people living in huts,

dirt broke countries that are happy. I think they need less to be happy. Yeah, well, we're backwards here in this country. Yeah, but give them like one day here and send them back. Just, no, you're absolutely right. If you want to go even further than that, there's people, civil women, the fucking jungle, that, you know, they go out and they get food

and they eat some ants and they go back and let a fire and hold a dirty baby Fuck Adrian and that's all their expectations are is in the jungle What they don't know by anything else? Yeah, all their expectations in the jungle are this is it look your Expectations if you don't have expectations you have everything you need in life, do you understand? So we put these things on ourselves to achieve certain goals. I think it's worse here in America. This is why we're less happy because everything in America,

this in our culture and our society is to prepare for the next thing. You go to preschool to get ready for kindergarten. You go to kindergarten to get ready for elementary school. You do elementary school to get ready for middle school, middle school for high school, high school for college, college for profession, and then people are like, I'm fucked. And then you're gonna work too much stuff right now.

And then you go, so you can get a vacation, it's all the next step. I just want to learn middle school for a second. Instead of just living in the moment, which is the only real life that they're actual. One day at a time, that's it. All that corny shit is true. Yeah, it's true.

I don't know what you call it, corny shit. Well, I was a pain of tension. You started over from everything you just said. So we're trained to think that we need more., I was a paying attention to you. You started over from everything you just said. So we're trained to think that we need more. If I have a TV, if I have money, if I don't have roommates, if I have a house, if I have a car, it's all, or shit that would just fed from A to one. One of the most freeing things in the world was when I got rid of my car.

When I moved back to New York and I just said, I don't need this. And I didn't. And it was like, oh my God, I released this massive amount of stress on me. I took the bus two months ago for the first time in a long time. My neighbor was, I was handling a cab and there was no cabs. And this fucking dude was like, come here. And I was like, what?

He goes, I'm gonna take the bus, where are you going? I go, I'm going to Amsterdam in 72nd. He goes, yeah, this goes right to that stop. And I jumped on the bus. And I just had my little metro card and I sat down with all these other fucking people. And it was 250 instead of $15. And I got there the same exact time,

pretty much five minutes, slower than the fucking cabbler got there. And it was like, oh my God, you know, the perspective you have on things fucks you up But once you realize that you don't need the only thing you fucking need I think you need to laugh. You need to be happy. You need to smile You know, you fucking need that. My kid wakes up. The first thing I do is make him smile every day If I'm there, I go over and I make him smile. I talk happy. I tell them I love them. I make them giggle and

squeeze my tits. I was, you are one step away from getting thrown out of here. I mean, we are really touching dicks here. So I think that you need that. All you need is love, right? I think you need love but you need you know even less than that I think you need I think you need a funny podcast that's all you need it's all shit what's I what you don't think this is funny I think this is the funniest show we've ever had I think is a great show great I don't understand what your problem is yeah you're a fucking well it's not that funny dude real ass jerk it's not funny you're real ass jerk. It's not funny. You're real ass fucking jerk. What's the J stand for jerk jerk? Yeah I know it's Lance for juice slayer

I don't know he always says juice layer just in case he gets indicted and cases career does take off which probably is not gonna happen He can oh no, I say juice. It's juice. It's juice layer. Yeah nice talking to you Um, I wish you if you ever come community suicide thought about it. Yeah, you have How many times I mean a lot what was it? Well, I would you we're gonna die by a sword. We're gonna sword fight a commit. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. Hurry What's hurry? Hurry. He's an Asian com What's UCB? You guys ladies and gentlemen give give it up for Hari Curry!

Oh! I know what you're thinking! I'm not a joke, but that part looks good. Oh! I saw how your people are doing. Ah, these jokes aren't going over. I might as well commit holy holy! Ah!

They just got the samurai when they would lose in battle or when they would shame their king, they would commit Hari Curry. Oh! Oh know when they would shame their king they would come at hurry Corey No, oh, oh, and hurts my ears when he says it. It's a ceremony when they fall on their own Yeah, what's a hurry? Corey I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't do that. I thought your instincts take over and no you can kill yourself You can't fucking smother yourself. I love the Harry. I wish I wish you could Harry carry No, it's Harry. Paul recall. Yeah, I'm a I say it like a real last dude. Paul recall. We got juice layer

You're an idiot. You're just a pure fucking idiot. There's no there's no you are not 90% 80 but you're a hundred and ten percent stupid You are moonshine stupid He really I just don't fucking dumb dumb dumb You're fucking three dumb Yeah, you stink whole recovery The only person that can say that as if Joe said it with his mouth. We know what he meant Holy core. I don't think we should be making fun of people

It is a little in the sense of me. When did you think of killing yourself? Tattoo artist Dude can you put that needle on my neck? Can you put it two of my wrist? I'm gonna take these pills and eat this white bread and then drink some milk When did you think it killing yourself? I got the bitch When did you I thought I mean throughout the years a bunch when was the last time

Hang on one second can you tell your friend know to cough like that? Yeah, keep me down Sean. I'm kidding Push on I wish we had room over here, but you're fucking friends do fat And you're fucking being friendly now literally in the third hour Did you want to sit next to us? Good A fucking I don't know if I mean a few times throughout life. I mean I've had I've had issues man Yeah, we know that I didn't ask you if you were fucked up. We know you're fucked up. A moment. I don't know. We've seen your tattoos. We know you have issues. Anything

where anything could set you up. What did you? What did you want to do? What did you? It was like I failed the test and then is it all I need to kill myself? We know it wasn't a test. It's a collection of life. What did what did you want to do? How did you want to do? Yeah. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry train huh I'm a beating train yeah I think that's sprint out of this yeah you know it's fucked up about that though is when you make somebody shoot you or you jump in front of a train yeah you fucked that guy yeah that's so selfish I really hate the mta I'd do it with milk I'd go to the milk crash. No. Chocolate milk. I think he'd be for you. The mile and all.

It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk.

It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk.

It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. Second and third best that Marin really boy I don't know if you fucking you know you I'm surprised you want more suicidal as a kid considering all of your fucked up issues and be brave too I didn't get raped What the fuck is wrong with you You fucking you put a stick for a stick that's rape dude. I don't know what the fuck you think that is You have a stick for a stick that's rape dude. I don't know what the fuck you think that is Yeah, you have ink poison well apparently you good deal if you just finger took while she's sleeping That's rape so what you had was rape my friend. No, I get no weird. It was exploration It was exploring dude dick explored your throat

My throat I didn't I didn't blow him I didn't Finish him off. He was an older kid who you saw older than me. He wasn't my throat. I didn't I didn't blow him I didn't finish him off He was an older kid who you saw older than me. He wasn't your age. Yeah, what was it? Forty you didn't want to get it. You wanted the steak oh By the way, did you see Ray Donovan last night? Yeah I fucking I want the wife dead. I want the kid dead that fucking mush mouth daughter that fucking race trader no offense that race trader I was so I was shocked what happened you think I think this fourth son is cute the fourth son the black white kid That's really just black. You really like black guys the fucking

No, Bunchies ugly but the daughter The fucking alley. I'm not mad at me. How about bungee? No, bungee's ugly. But the daughter is fucking terrible. Yeah. She could die. But she's an asshole. It's like the guy told her to suckers go down on that pipe. Yeah.

Pipe smog my, what do you say? He said, you know, he said your dad, your dad bought me something like that. What do you say? Pipe me? Pipe me, bitch. Yeah, pipe me, bitch. It was a fucking group. That's what the kids are saying. Yeah, that's what the kids are saying now pipe me bitch

She went what you have pipe me bitch. I don't think she didn't want to suck his dick I just think she was like I don't know what pipe me. She's gonna fuck him in the next episode Yeah, she goes back and wants to fuck him the next time. Thank you Unfuckin believe she takes a bus a fucking bus to the ghetto to a guy who just pretty much almost raped her face raped her see you in pt. you win and then the wife is a fucking annoying well Ray, Ray, you know what he does you know what he's into yeah and then if he says look shit's busy this guy from who's in the massage right which guy The Jewish guy.

I don't like the fact that she wants to know everything but when he tells us something, she's like, she gets upset and then the guy says, look you can't go anywhere. I'm here to protect you. And she goes, I'm going out. I'm going out and I don't, she smacks him and he goes, you want to hit me?

Yeah, I fucking, I want him to hit you. Yeah, I don't like her. I ain't hit her. I'll think he'll go, sit down, you're bugging me. Oh my ass, I don't care. You, I fucking, I want him to hit you. Yeah, I don't like her. I ain't hit her. I'll think he'll kill her. Sit down, you're bugging me. Oh my ass, or what? Oh, don't care, either sit down or leave. My dick hurt, I got my dick and balls are one unit right now.

And left, slide. Sit down, you're making me weird. Yes. You're making me weird. Sit down. Sit. Sit. Ubu sit.

We're gonna get fucking ginger snaps to get this fucking ape to sit. Ooh, right. Right. Fucking tie that, not a little tie. Apparently this band-in is not coming off this goose neck for the whole show. Wow. Yeah, Ray Dunovan is a great show. The father is great Mickey.

Awesome. I love that James Woods played the, you know, he that was the whitey-ballger type thing, right? Sally. Sally. Ray is the shit. He's really his character is so good like because I he's a big I've seen him in person. He's a fucking huge in person So like that usually I'm glad he's like a five foot 10 guy. It's like threatening what's a six foot four dude? Yeah, he's a fucking great season of it. Yeah, I haven't seen I hear

Unbelievable it's a great new show. I fucking love it. I love I haven't seen I hear it. Yeah, so the last episode it's unbelievable. It's a great new show. I fucking love it. I love the show times kick and ass too. I love it. I like when he smashed the cameras. He's fucking drove up in the guy. Yeah, and he snays.

What the fuck? And you do that? You go back to me and you're gonna fucking kill you. Yeah, he walked away. I was that's bad. That was great. Yeah, I know spoil or but this last episode at the end That was I was like that was too. I was like oh, I got chills when he when he said you never told them

Shit yeah, no spoiler. He's poor alerts would be free. I watch the show You guys have been watching full host. It's on Hi guys listen, we're gonna fuck a wrap this one up. This is a really fun show. I'm glad that I I had you on Jay. Yep. Thank you so much for coming on. Do you have a good time? Absolutely. He's coming a long way from that little fucking Yeti microphone in the green room at Aparla live. Yeah, the one that I wasn't on. Yeah Yeah, I don't give a fuck if you wanted it. I was just tell the story. I don't know what the fucking microphone was I said it yeti Okay, I gave the details to the story. I actually thought you're fucking referencing me by yeti

Hello come in hang on one second. No, we got something for you I'm so glad I get the fucking hand this bandana over to you. Jesus. You know fucking your your hands that should be on a smaller person. I like the what are your Chinese things, sir? Uh, it's a martial art. I used to teach a long time ago. Yeah. Winged. He's different. He's been a badass. Six foot eight martial artists. Jesus. A lot of time ago. I'm afraid of him. It's funny. Lewis was the fight him. I'll fucking bring him to the ground. Do a ground. Well, jujitsu. Yeah. Hold on, I've just been doing a Gracie Baja

JD never you nervous now. I just fucking battle I he could fight he'd fucking hurt you. I bet he would I don't think so he knows Wing Ching done to me. Look I see a I know hurry curry. He's got a nickname that he didn't give himself Yeah, big Irish J Wang Chung. What is it? Wang Chung. Wang Chung. Doh. Has anyone attacked you on stage? I tried to. On stage now, no one's ever... No.

No. Yeah, I wouldn't beat you. I've had some fucking audiences I wanted to. But now. Dude, I literally had a... I said, if you take one more step toward that stage, I want to break your fucking jaw the other night of the show. Two.

Some fucking audience, remember, dude. What was the girl's name? You're really bringing this up at two, two, 25, into the fucking podcast. I'm gonna go out to the next show. What the fuck, you know, where are you at? There you go. Where were you at?

Where were you at? L-O-L. That's your show. The show we books. I'm booking my girl books. You know that. Yeah, yeah. Eighth time of kindness.

I don't get spots anymore. It's very hurtful. You don't give fucking Joe this spots nothing I'll shut out two weeks in a row. I used to be on every show. I understand her but Joe I got a spot. I saw you there last week. I got a spot from Lewis Thanks, buddy. If I was still single, I'd fucking hit on Lorraine Yes, she's like type of girl. I love the ears. She's funny.

She knows how to commit suicide for realsies. For realsies. You know what's funny? And I have the pills. She can cook. And she's funnier than you are thinking. I can tell. Exactly.

I can tell. I know how you're thinking. Her act is better than you're thinking than it is. I don't think that's so wrong. I think she's very funny. I'm telling you. But you know you saw her sorry you'd be like this You wouldn't say it you'd be like this fucking idiot

I know you well I'm not saying you think I'm saying you're a good guy But you shut the door on that fucking Joe. He's funny. You're like I have no preconceived notions of I do not Bobby what I'm I have no preconceived notions of I do not. Bobby, you're expecting a lot of pussy, Joe. Yes, but do you think Adrian's money? Do you ever see an error? Okay, did you assume before today the Adrian was funny? If I saw her on the streets, no.

In the streets. If I saw her on the streets. In the streets. If I saw on the street, I would think she would have some type of card attached to a like a zipper line and she would scan herself into a building and she she does Bellevue hospital. Yeah, some type of some type of scanner zipper card in the streets is where you make up via sins But on my podcast she I she really I thought she did great. I thought she was very funny very charming

No, mr. Alan said I was charming too. Who's Dr. Alan? Who everyone fucking see see I've never knew for years I've never thought once that you know the same you are conscious everybody but Beatrice wants video see this guy Okay, comfortable okay everybody sees it. I say I Family here's a deal can I I say this right now this this podcast only only Today and tomorrow that's Monday and Tuesday. Okay. No today Tuesday. One day. It's filmed in a house. Please don't get mad at us for letting you know your stupid.

Okay. When you're stupid. Thank you. If you're just sitting there, we attack you. That's mean. But if you say something dumb, we attack you I thought you meant to Jay is I listen honey I listen to the podcast you need to know when to shut your face now you talk too much these the men were talking and then you jumped in right at the end it was a perfect ending Bobby knows what he's doing I know this I've heard I'm I used to date I'm a spack in the day I don't know if you know this and he taught me a lot You just need to shut your face. You were right on the outs. And stay away from that fucking little mouth-jump on the fuck right? I don't like him. He's passive aggressive.

Do you find me passive aggressive? Shut the fuck up, Joe. How's that? Is that passive enough for you? Joe's perfect. Ah, thoughtful. Will you add the picnic? No. Oh'm thoughtful. Is it sweet? Were you at the picnic? No. Oh, good. Uh, um, I'd say today and tomorrow Monday and Tuesday, I'm giving the listeners, I'm

going to say, I'm going to say this week Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Any donations that come into the show go to paying for Lewis's first therapy session. That seems like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday therapy session. That seems good. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. That's it. If we get 275 dollars on Saturday, it's all mine, motherfucker. But whatever we get,

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, just so people know that that's for you to go to therapy. Okay. Okay. So I want to go to therapy. I don't want to go to the same therapist that everybody that I know sees. that's who you should go to I don't know. This is why I'll tell you why I don't like the fact this is why I'll tell you why this is why I'll tell you why This is why I'll tell you why

Tell me why It'll be good so what he could actually tell me why I Want it that way I want you to know Because deep down inside of me You are my fire the one Discires I know I know

I apologize for my involvement How do you commit suicide again? I listen to me. Here we go. What do you got? No, chocolate you're cookie coming up yep, uh, Hollinsworthless podcast on the potholex comedy network That's best thing and and this network is potholex.com and where is it? Who's on it? Do you have any other names? Jeff Keith who's got the The book Jeff Keith who do got the, the book. Jeff Keith. Who? Do you have a Nick DePolo on your phone? Do you have a Jim Ford? That's all unnecessary.

I'm kidding. No, I really, I support other networks. I love Creek and the cave radio is great. To come to Hollix is great. All things comedy, Billion Al's. Stand up Labs. Stand up, man. All right.

Go ahead. What is again? Pawdaholics.com. I go check out his podcast. He's a very funny guy, very genuine guy, nice guy, big fan of comedy. Treat me unbelievable when I came in there, both times, right? Well, actually once, one time.

You took me, you were there the other time. The other time, right? You like shit. Wait, maybe we did do two. Yeah, I think it was two. So, all right, that's great. You get a website or anything? There's one below there.

You can just, the easiest bigarsj.com. All right, funny guy, funny, funny guy. What do you got? You can come watch me be a secretary. Katrina, blackpupame.com. Katrina, what do you got? I'm at the stand-alone, doesn't it? No, what's that?

Twitter, plug it Twitter. Twitter, do me. dummy. This is your problem. I told No, what's that? Twitter. Plug it Twitter. I'm Twitter. Dummy. This is your problem. I told you you got to do social networking. This is my problem. This is my problem.

That's brutal. It's my name. It's A. Appaluchie. I'm going to tell you a spell. Appaluchie. I want to get you milk and bread. No, I'm kidding. I have the means.

What? Listen to me. What's your part? What's your name? What's your apartment number? I want to fucking bang you I will What do you want? Jesus Christ? I will spell your name. Oh a a a at at what at a AP a L.U.C.C.I Okay, make she's very funny man. Thank you for coming on you're you're actually a blast

Absolutely What do you got Chris oh giant hips Chris gobo Besides fucking 19 suicide notes in a draw a Will to live for the last five months Yeah, they're all throwing curse of good At Chris Copa and that's really basically it's giving more spots at LOL I'll be there. I don't know who the fuck you talking about

If you want to get spots at LOL you won't cross me. I can't can't tell Beatrice not to fucking break I can't believe you will happen to me I can't I can't believe that you are booking the people on the show what are you talking about I can't give me two spots last but Beatrice is booking everybody on the show and giving priority to everyone on this show be Joe list and Lorraine and fucking Jackie Jack Jack, the key. Yeah, I'm John. How many fucking names? You can be Lorraine, LaKisha. And fucking Chris Scopo should have priority.

Did you give him a spot? He's a from out of town. He's a from out of town. I'm trying to make. I'm trying to make Adrian feel comfortable. He's a from out of town. Email Beatrice. Tell her your friends are Bobby. You're in. And he's a show. What do I gonna say? Say that. Now you just told everybody. Okay. Email Beatrice.com. Believe it. All right. Lewis, have fun. Are you stupid? Beatrice.com.com? She dude that's not her email Alright guys, she owns beaters.com. That's the worst. She's so not a Beatrice

She's like a Susan ours a fucking Kathy. She's beautiful. She's really hot. Yeah, what is beat Lewis, what do you got? My new website Kelly for stucasucks.com Are you kidding me? It's what I got I bought it. I own the domain. It will be linked up on time this comes out It will be linked up so why would you do that? What why would you work? Oh God because it's funny Okay, it's not funny. It's mean. It's funny Kelly is coming back because she It's been email Saying

Do everything with the podcast podcast is good. I'm about 21st. Can you never, ever do that ever again? Cause my ears hurt. I have no, I have blood coming out of my left monster. All right, well, in her shitty accent, she's gonna book the 21st, I guess. Okay, so she's coming back. What are you gonna do?

Are you staying? Wait, do we have this conversation already? Yeah, we did, but we never finished it. Sorry. So what's always staying? Are we staying? I don't know, am I staying? I don't know It's up to you. What are you gonna fight for it?

You were gonna say no to this. Yeah Bobby she would act the kindness videos. She would what nothing what did you say? I said play my acts of kindness videos if you guys want to see the acts that we have this is the best part about this show The acts of kindness which are hilarious. They're on the podcast. Just go, they're on our site. If you go to, like cast.com. Right cast.com slash YKWD.

The YouTube page right there will have the six acts of random kindness with Lewis J Gomez. So make sure you check that out. Something just happened when Lewis Jay Gomez. So make sure you you check that out Something just happened when Lewis got up. Did you hear it? Yeah, it's buzzing. What the fuck did he do? Was it him? Anyways, we're getting the fuck out here. Go ahead. What do you got this Saturday? Bigging down the cave cave Cod County Iroproc was Cape Cod County lounge in high anus and then there's a promo code on the website

big and Google it promo code list LIST LIST to get discounted tickets Saturday September 28th at the Cape Cod County lounge in the October 25th 26th I'll be at City Steam, Bruhaha in Hartford and you can follow me on Twitter at Joe List comedy. Should I do that over again without the feedback? Yeah, go ahead. September 28th Cape Cod comedy. Iber Proctor's Cape Cod comedy lounge, October 25th, 26th, Hartford, Bruhaha city steam at Joe List comedy. Yeah, ask at Joe List comedy. Make sure you follow Joe. One of the funniest guys out there. Everybody on the show today. I really appreciate it

You guys know me Robert Kelly live comm go there for everything I have your dates if you want to yeah, please plug some of that You go to my website for everything we got a new ride cast page coming up soon We have you stream video working out. We're working out. We just got all kinds of stuff for the studio We're gonna really revamp this whole thing. So we'll have live video for you guys. We're working out. We're working out. We just got all kinds of stuff for the studio. We're gonna really revamp this whole thing So we'll have live video for you guys. We're gonna have um, we're gonna have um Are you whispering again? What the fuck are you doing?

We're supposed to book our own. It doesn't matter. Do it after this show. What were we debating for you to plug it? No, you don't do that. Well, I'm fucking talking. I'm sorry. No, you, uh, that. Well, I'm fucking talking. I'm sorry. No, you, that's your whole fucking, instead of J, it should be S for sorry, because it's all you fucking do.

Sit down. What about jerk? I thought we decided it was jerk. I mean, that still falls into this category. I like S. S. layer of juice. I have juice on juice. She fucking hate you. Anyways.

My managers Jewish. Go to everybody's managers Jewish. Except for my, my, my, Soaparco. My supervisor. That would be Italian. So anyways, go to rob, I'll see you later, Lewis. Go to robacalilive.com and all my dates, everything's up there.

Go ahead, read some of the dates. Okay, it's September 19th. You're gonna be at the Midland AMC with Dane Cook. It's September 20th. Oh, this is, that's next week. None of that fucking matters, you fucking, fuck my dates. The way we're at it in the show.

Where in the fucking show? You fucked it up, Chris. You fucked it up, you got to press your cows. Forget it. In Maryland, forget it, forget it. I love that club. Forget it, it's over. Give him a gallon of milk.

Okay, it's over. Go to my website for dates. Thank you for supporting us. Make sure you get to iTunes and subscribe, review the donations. Thank you so much for, I gotta read the donations real quick. What's up? I never mind.

I had a thing I was gonna do, it was gonna be fun. What are you gonna do? We gotta read the donations first. Go ahead, I gotta get it, go ahead. What are you gonna do? I was gonna do a thing where I go, oh, I just thought of a hilarious story. And then you hit end, it was gonna be fun. Now it's not that fun. I know that's what I said

But you fucking did that thing where you insist you're like fucking it But you don't trust my instincts you just start yelling you're like just do it. You fucking asshole. I trust your instincts all the time I have you on the show every week anytime you want to be here. You are regular. How is that not trusting your instincts? Well because you would have been like just do it And I'm like I can't do it now because it's gonna be boo boo boo Boo boo boo I've never said boo-boop-boop in my life. I don't know what the fuck boo-boop-boop means. I have a fucking three month old. I've never used the word boo-boop-boop. I mean if I was gonna use the word boo-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop my son. I haven't used it. I'm like, it's thought of a great story.

Christopher, Christopher Scopo. Oh wait a second. Christopher, Heather Graves, thank you so much again. Ian Rice, Peter Grazzy, I wanna thank you, George Burr, I wanna thank you, Sam West Mench, Ian Rice again. You guys are all great. Thank you so much, Heather Graves, you're the best. Thank you so much for donating to the show. Everything we get from you guys goes back into the show. So all those great stuff's happening right

now. And the last thing I want to say is Nick DePolo, he is on riot cast. He has joined the riot along with the rest of the fucking riot cast network. Again, making us, I can't believe the shows we have on here. Make sure you go to riotcast.com, listen to all the shows, you'll love all of them, okay, if not for. But Nick DePolo, when his show comes out, I want you guys all to go review, subscribe, and check it out. He, if anybody should have a podcast, it should be this guy.

I can't wait to hear this, and I am so fucking honored to be on the same network as him. So spread the word, it's happening. Is he gonna be at the Ryke Show? No, he's not. He's not, but we're gonna be. He might be. We have a special guest coming.

On the Ryke Show, but I'm not supposed to announce that show until coming out. So that's next week we're announcing Ryke Show and the YKWD podcast live. It's in November. So when it comes out, you gotta get tickets fast. Yeah, people ask me about that, actually. Village Underground, it's gonna be there.

It's a small club, 200 seats. We have two shows, live podcast, and then stand up show with all the members of the Riotcast network. And Colin Quinn's especially against on that. So it's gonna be fucking great. So make sure you keep your eyes out for that. That's all we got.

Support our sponsors, support the other shows on the network, and most of all, support the comics myself included. If you guys see any of these guys performing anywhere, make sure you go watch this show and go up and tell them that you heard them first here on the YKWD podcast. And that's it. What's up, Joe? you heard him first here on the YKWD podcast.

And that's it. What's up, Joe? Hi, nothing. I thought it was something that should have plugged, but I'll plug it later. Go ahead, plug it now. You can follow him. You know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know, you know what, you know, you know what, you know what, you know, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know, you what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know what, you know' You know what you need Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, Don't stop filming my face.