Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Stavros Halkias

Episode Date: August 27, 2022

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Old school back in the day, we're all starting before them all. YKW did this podcast is so fun and crazy, and there's no rules. Shut up, you ruining this! Break the bar, man, I'm sorry. It's comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original original?

It's original. I'm still out here in the woods. I'm going to go to the woods. I'm going to go to the woods. What's up? Don't have a bite, the tippy as a gara. I've just used a cutter. Don't smoke it.

What an asshole. What's up everybody? I'm still out here in the woods doing my thing, doing the YKWD live on StreamYard, we will be back in studio in just one week. After Labor Day, I am back fully in the studio with NuNiki and Mosh and Joe and above the comedy seller. But for now, I'm still, this is my last week out here in the beautiful woods.

And I think I lost my funny, I think I lost all perspective on trying to become famous or rich or whatever, I just want to be out here with the birds in the porcupines and go fishing and take walks with the dog. I mean, I think I retired. I think I retired. It's going to take a lot to push this rock back up the hill and get my engines going. I remember that movie Battleship where they finally had to go, all the battleships were destroyed, and they had to go and get the old one, and it was all rusty and fucking crazy.

That's me, that's me getting back into this fucking ship business. But anyways, today's podcast, I'm very excited about it, because it's one of my favorite people on the planet in and outside the business. He's left familiar and he's my son. So let's give it up for Stavros Huckiest everybody.

Hi Bob, we hello everybody. How are we doing? Look at him. Look at him. Look at him. Look about baby boy. Look at him. Look at my baby boy. Hi, buddy. How are you doing, dude? Ah, dude, I might have fucked up. I love it. I see it. There's something in your eyes that I don't even... This is a man I don't fully know. You know what I'm saying?

I'm so jealous. I want to be in the woods with you, dude. I want to quit, too. Let's go on walks. Everything you said sounds so good. I was with you until battleship with that was your cinematic frame of reference One of the biggest pieces of shit of all time Remember remember on the road when I want to watch a movie and you insisted on the point break remake point break remake.

Instead. Let's watch the point break remake. Yeah, you could have just said Maverick. That would have been a much better reference than Rihanna's battleship. That is true. That is true. There is a coming out retirement group in the Zeitgates right now.

I was trying to get a reference of Rust and Steele, you know, in the battleship. And when they went on the Ohio or the Kentucky, whatever one of rust and steel, you know, and the battleship, when they went on the Ohio or the Kentucky, whatever one they had the recommission with the old guys, remember the end? I'm not with you because like everyone else in the world, I have not seen battleship.

I've not seen battleship with Liam Neeson. I'll watch anything with Liam Neeson first of all. Liam Neeson. All I know is Rihanna, That is true. Like you're correct. Rihanna was great in this movie too, by the way. Everybody was great in the movie. Even the what the the the the no-legged Hawaiian dude was fantastic.

Even him, even the disabled were putting in great performances. I mean, dude, it was, I mean, as far as alien movies, I'm a big plan alien movies. They're coming on. Anyway, I'm with you thematically. I'm with you. I see what you're saying. I'm happy for you. I'm yeah. I'm like it's fucking poster. Truly I mean it's like it's really one of the most notoriously big as bombs of all time but I'm glad that you enjoyed it so much. You'd have to you have this one. It's allis right now in the woods. It was based on a board game.

This was one of the greatest four games of my childhood. Don't fucking try and use that as a fucking way out that the board had a ship. You suck my battleship. I mean, dude, I grew up and I'm fucking stuck. It's dick and you know it. That's when you played when you lost all those, when you lost the boot in Monopoly and you were out of it. When you didn't have all the dice in Yachtsy.

Yeah. They're like, all right, fuck it. I guess we played battleship. Listen, yeah battleship was the fourth. It was, it was, you played TikTok tell on a piece of paper before you played battleship. Yeah. That's how, that's how a paper football, You'd play tic tac tell on a piece of paper before you play that was you That's out that's how a paper of football

It was either nothing or battleship. Yeah But anyway, I like the sentiment. I know exactly what you read about You're at peace because the wood there is something I'm looking your background. It is meditative. I'm fucking jealous Dude, I might have fucked up though, because it's like, I've been up here. Yeah. And I plan on taking the summers off. I plan on doing everything from up here in the summer. So I'm June, July, a little bit of June, July and August. I'm gonna be up here.

I'm not even gonna book gigs. I'm gonna book gigs up here. They did all these little theaters up here. I'm not even gonna book gigs. I'm gonna book gigs up here. They did all these little theaters up here. I'm gonna talk to my guy about booking gigs up here. And then I'll bring somebody up and do the show and you could come up and pay at the house. We'll go do a show, we'll make a little riser and then we'll go fucking kayak, and fish in,

hiking. Sounds fucking great. I love that plan. That is exactly what I was trying to do, too. This summer, I really wanted to take the whole summer off. I had big plans of like three months. I'm gonna take three months off, and then it like, I got COVID,

so I had to make up some of those gigs in June. So June disappears, and then July and August, and then I got to fuck up some of those gigs in June. So June disappears and then July and August and then, you know, I got to fuck, I had to, I got something cool, you know, I got to act in a little something in July. So I was like, fuck, I got, you know, I'm not taking gigs, but I want to do that. So fuck it, I'll come up, you know, and it turned into like, you know, three months turned into literally 10 days off,

you know, whatever it was just like. It's, it's, it's, I, I wanted to, I was taking the whole summer off, but then, you know, just for laughs stepped in and took a week and a half of that out. Yeah. You know, look, I'm not going to do just, they're not going to pick me every year. So I was like, I got to, I want to go enjoy this. Of course. I did it.

And then I come back and then a Vesonis, which is one of my great gigs that I love doing, you know, came a call and so I had to go right to there and then I came back here. Now I gotta leave, I'm leaving today because I got a gig, I got two nice gigs Thursday and Saturday, one in Asbury Park tomorrow night. I gotta drive back home by myself, being the house that I haven't been in my house in

month. I haven't been home in month. That's nice. You're going to find it ransacked. Mike's been living there. Mike's a like set up shop. Like the head's up. Thank you. Thank you. You're taking bones and donuts. Yeah. I love that. I love that. Yeah. Next time you should fucking surprise him. Just come in. He's got.

He's got himself the finest. The finest call girls that. I forget what your neighborhood is called, but he's got. He's got the finest Westchester whores you can find You destipened on that all whores are the same in any area It's the same whore Yeah, this is not like we're in Prague and Yeah, this is not like we're in Prague and this is just the type of poor. Yeah, and America's supermodels that just missed the cut in Westchester. Yeah,

yeah, there's no thousand dollar hooker in Westchester. Yeah, the same hooker and queens are the Bronx. I guess it goes like how the quality of hotel is the quality of prostitute. You know, if you're in a days in town, you're getting a days in prostitute. But every town, even artily, the richest town up here, cannot attend schools. Yeah, I feel like the better the school's the worse the prostitutes actually now that I think about it.

They have every, every, every, I feel like if they're getting into fucking pharmacist school, they don't have to suck dick on the weekends, but who knows? Dude, but every town has a motel. Yeah. Drive through these towns.

Like, it's usually named after a fruit, like an apple in, you know, the orange towns houses. Oh my god. There's a place in Baltimore, the way back in the middle of it That's called the executive in Bars on the windows, you know Most they probably charge by the half hour not even the hour and they call it the executive in In there right now

We know back of the day the back of the day, there was definitely the hay day of motels. Yes. Because motels were hotels. Right. Right. I mean, they had like one hotel in each state, you know, they made rich people with live in there. That's the other thing. You read these old books and it's like, he had his apartment at the Waldoer, for story. And it's just, it was not for normal people didn't get to go to hotels. No normal normal people never went they never flew and then they actually took one travel.

It was the boat over here and then 85 kids in one bedroom. There it is. Look at that, boys. That's where some big business deals are getting closed. That's for sure. What does it say Sunday through Thursday? Yeah, I can't see. That's obvious.

They're really, you know, ESPN's cinematics. I love those. But that, that lettering back in the, like the 60s was really high end. I bet you that cost you there. It's literally that exact sign is still there in both right now. Yeah. And that's where all the hookers are. That's where that's where they are. And like three of those rooms, there's one guy in one room, the pimp who makes sure that nothing happens. He's in the room next door. And then they have the three girls in the other room. That's terrible. Terrible. Well, right now they're at your home with mush.

They're leaving quickly. They just found out you're coming back. You probably made $30,000 the last two weeks at my house. Just run them plus plus out of my house. You've got to do successful pimp. You lose him on the team. No, all the girls love mush. It's like night shift with Michael Keaton and the fans. It's just nice guys. You want a nice pimp? Honestly, if I was selling pussy,

I would want mush to be my pimp. Yeah, it's mush and Joe Russell, just selling pussy out of my house all summer. I go back, mush has like a Bugatti. Yeah, he's gonna tell you to go fuck yourself one night. Even when you come back, you're gonna find the shed. He's running and puts that out of the shed. The shed was like the extra. That was like the way he kept the top girl in the shed. Right, right. The bottom bitch is in this. Can I go to the shed. The shed was like the extra, that was like the way kept the the top

girl and the right, right, the bottom bitches in this. Can I go to the shed? You know, you know, the shed is an extra 200 right off the rip. Before we're starting to charge and buy the hour. And of course, I'm so sorry for even asking. Yeah, they set up a whole new thing with the fire pits going. So after you tag out with the girl, you yourself in the in the little cubby of the playground. All my neighbors just getting blown. And my dad got even the Jewish temple on the back that the

rabbis coming over. He looked over the fence. Hey, whatever it takes to make an extra dollar. Well, you know, you know, you know what you said? You said about the people living in hotels that always, two things bother me in movies. Yes. You relate, you relate to, I know you relate to one of them.

One is when they, they're staying in a fucking hotel, like a luxury suite. Right. And this bitch just came from Idaho. Right, right. She's in a, she's in some, you know, luxury suite. Yeah, from Idaho. Right, right. She's in a she's in some Your Yeah, she's got a room

At rooms 900 dollars a night. I know what those rooms cost. You're not fucking stopping in there Yeah, it's like a New York apartment that's supposed to be shitty. It's like it's you know poor poor You know like in limitless Bradley Cooper's got a nice you know one bedroom in the Westville or whatever this guy can't afford this. It's like friends they had an amazing two bedroom with a fucking yeah with a fucking and a beautiful huge kitchen that looked onto the living room and Joey was a shitty actor yeah you didn He didn't even have sag insurance, but he had a... Oh, hey Joey made sag.

He was in three TV shows, the whole run of friends. He was apparently worked. The other thing that really pisses me off, and this is the one you relate, I know you will. And it happens at a lot in Dr. TV shows and Westerns. Okay. The guy comes in off the trail, some Indian lady, a Mexican woman or whatever,

let's them in some hut and she's cooking some incredible beef rabbits through. Yes. She's just been boiling for a day and a half and then she made some type of beautiful bread. Yeah, I didn't even exist anymore. And he's down. He rips the bread open and he gets. She just grills out some with a with a wooden spoon onto a plate. He starts eating and then something happens.

And he has to get up and go and he just leaves. It's like the stew. There's no one. You have an eating in three ways. Someone's like, I'm going to kill you. It's like, all right, give me a sec. Ha, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I fucking love Richard rules. Now that's where our sensibilities align. Yeah, there you go. Look at that big thing of beans and bread and just whiskey. That just looks so good. But even that movie's not going to happen.

And he had to get up and leave. Of course, they never, you're right. They never finish a meal. A meal is never finished in a movie. That pisses me off. And there's starving. Look at him. He's got rip clothes.

He's been out there for like a month Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're absolutely correct about that in reacher They're he gets barbecue and he's sitting down and of course something happens where they have to leave Barbecue right Two days. Yeah, yeah, seven people. Yes. I mean, he's literally, he just murdered seven people, but not murdered with gun. He had to fight them and kill them like with snap their necks.

Snap in the neck is not an easy thing. That's like, that's cool. That's cool. You're doing that. Yeah, that's cool. That's cool. That's cool. I'm showing you.

Tri-Seps, it's the whole thing is getting involved when you snap a man's neck. Just starve it. Absolutely. He sits now for the barbecue and then the guy, we're gonna go. They all get up and leave. And he goes, I'm taking the ribs.

And I was like, thank you. Whatever writer you are, you're a fat fuck. Whatever writer was writing that was like, listen. I love it, you're true. I love Reacher. I love Bosch. I love, that's what, because that's like TV for divorced men, you know what I mean? mean where it's like they live in a reality where it's like you look at Reacher

He's like this this sexy guy that loves jazz Yeah, you know what I mean loves blues and and and doesn't take any shit from anyone and can snap anyone's neck That's a man who got cucked who love guy who wrote that, that's his fantasy of being, he's like the sexiest drifter with that no bitch can tell him what to do and no man can, meanwhile the guy who's writing is like a five for Jewish man. The guy who writes that is always in the show too. He's the fat corner.

Yeah. Oh, he's the guy who guys in the show. Is it the IT guy or the actual little cut corner? Exactly. Yeah, they always write themselves in. That is just as this man is huge. Fucking jacked. It's insane.

And the smartest guy. He's truly an impossible. He's the smartest guy of all time. He knows everything before the cops do. He's sexy. He's ripped. And you know, he also does that much. Honest. He's got before the cops do. He's sexy, he's ripped, and you know, he also does that much. He's got a code that he sticks to.

He got a code. There's no way. With Richard existed, he would be like a fucking, he'd work for the CIA, he'd be a fucking, you know, evil billionaire who is who would be like, or he'd be running security for Epstein's Island. There mean, that's not, there's no one with that smart, sexy, rich, you know, whatever talented who's just a drifter with a code. That man. And he has green eyes. I mean, let's, God, God doesn't work like that. God takes something away.

That actor is probably the dumbest person you've ever met in your life. You don't get to look that way and have great cognitive abilities. You get to live off being just a fucking six five hunt. And his dick is probably human. I don't know. They've never talked about Reacher's dick, but I'm sure the guy, if you read the books, it's 12 and a half inches tall. Here's Lee Child, the leader. He's a corner. Yeah. I love it. That's my favorite genre right now is divorced, divorced, dead shit. It's just wash. I like, I'm watching. I like that show. What is the other one? I just watched. Um, what the fuck was it? Oh, the Chris Pratt.

Oh, the other, yes, very much in the genre, very much in the dad genre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's 100% dude. He loses his family. Exactly. Anytime revenge is in the picture. The last, the one I, the movie I watched was the one with Michael B. Jordan, the Tom Clancy thing

where someone like classic set up. He's a fucking, you know, sniper, whatever, whatever he is like, he's like special ops. He gets fucked over by the government. They kill his wife and he has to fucking go back for revenge. And the reviews are so bad because it's a bunch of people that are like, I thought there's going to be a good movie. Michael B. Jordan's in it. It's like, yeah, it's not a good movie. But if you love the genre, it fucking rules. Of course, it's fucking so stupid. It doesn't make any sense.

Anytime there's something like justified, justified revenge and justified, you know what I mean? Yeah, that movie, I mean, look, it wasn't a great movie, but as soon as, as soon as that resentment, oh, that anger, and something happened to him, like Chris Pratt, when his daughter, dude, when a kid dies, oh, forget it.

It's so... You tricked a something in every man. Well, all these guys want to be violent. You know what I mean? These are the people that love this, probably have done domestic abuse, but in their mind, they're like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's so it's like watching it is like the scenario where you get to be violent like exactly Bobby If if someone if you got revenge you would get to undo all your therapy

You would get to just fucking go back to feral fucking, you know little Bobby drinking booze at 11 and Ferrell Bobby did living off the table scraps and fucking and fucking you know boons farm wine. This is going to be a Jocelyn. Park at 14. You know, this is a Jocelyn Jocelyn put my head on a ferro little pig. Yeah. That's what it is. It's like a fantasy that you get to do all the violence that you want to do in a

justified manner. Let me ask you a question because I know you're you're I know you're a mixture. You're you're you're you're you're whatever that whatever that was whatever Rico Suave. I'm trying to seduce you. It's hot here. I turned the AC off so we would get better audio for the podcast. I'm looking out for you, man. I'm sweating. And deep in my neck. Just gave me the fucking sexy chick head flip.

Dude, I can't wait for my hair to get even longer so I can do a full flip. What was it? What was I saying to you? I've said something to you. Fuck my brother. I don't remember your view. You are your your mixture, okay? Because you're views, your political views are over here. But you're still a piece of shit sexually. I don't know that I'm a piece of shit. You're a conservative sexual, a convenient, and-

I don't just want to be a very, I'm a classic. See, that's the thing. I'm a, it's a being being, you know, hedonistic, is a classic liberal thing. You know what I mean? It's a classic. Okay, okay, okay, wait a second. Getting a bunch of pussy, doing all this,

that's classic, you know what I mean? So what you're saying is you're more like the people down in the village in Florida, the old people with like, exactly. Right, yeah. I live my life the way you wear, like my sexual mores, like what happens in a retirement community in Florida where everyone's widowed and they're like fuck it.

Let's start sucking and fucking. We only got four years to live. I live that way, but I, you know, in the prime of my life basically. But you know, I've been thinking about it. I think I don't know how much more years, how many more years of being a little slut I have left in me. You know, I think I'm getting to the point. I think I'm just a little... I'm gonna take me for you, little slut.

Yeah, I wanted to call my special fat little slut, but they were like the algorithm, because I was putting it out on YouTube, they were like, if you put slut in the title, just won't do as well, so I was like, fuck. That title I wanted so bad. I wanna call my album coming up, my special coming up remember AIDS

They don't like AIDS they don't like split and I think that's a documentary Yeah Yeah, so many so many like a 70-year-old old gay men are going to tune in waiting for a somber retelling of some of their best friends being lost to virus. And they're just going to see you talking about your wife and being a father and then your yeast. They think they're going to tune in. It's going to be like old footage studio 54, the head.

54. And then it goes black and white and it goes slow motion. It's like what the party had to end. You know, the party wouldn't last forever. Yeah, it just cuts to a cool McGang song just cuts out mid cool McGang. Yeah. Yeah, somber violin start playing over black and white footage. Now let me ask you question, how old are you now? I am 33. So you're still on the prime of everything. Yeah, for sure.

It's nice. This is the best stretch. It is something that I realized, even when I was younger, I thought this about myself or I was like, realistically, I was meant to be 42 years old. That's when someone that looks like me is really at the prime. You know what I mean? Because it's like, I've looked like a 40 year old man since I was 26. So I'm used to it. You know what I mean? Like now, in your mid 30s, people start, you know, everyone starts getting fat. People start going bald.

They don't, they're not as confident in their bodies. They have all this body like, you know, they're not, you know, they're self-conscious because they start looking the way I've looked since I was literally in college. And now I'm just like, this is it, dude, I'm fucking, I love the, now they're all playing in my fucking, now I'm like, Bane, where it's like, you know, I was fucking I love the now now they're all playing in my fucking now. I'm like vain words like, you know

I was I was born in the darkness You know you're all now you're all new to this you're new to trying to get pussy while fat and bald I've been getting pussy fat and I was 23. You know, I was born in the bald fatness Exactly exactly so I'm having a great time and it is, it's funny because you're just like, as a man, you also benefit off of, you know, how much easier it looks wise it is for a man to be considered attractive. You know what I mean? Attractive.

It's like women are legitimately attracted, like hot girls are attracted to like, just to cut like a fat, confident man who doesn't really give a fuck in a way that like unfortunately for women doesn't cut the other way You know what I mean? It's like it's not there's definitely a subset of women that just like their type is just like a Yeah, there's a chick that looks like you she's in a circus Absolutely Half half by performing and half by you know cleaning out the elephant shit She's not even going to be a full-time performer. She's not a full-time circus performer She's aspiring them go full-time. She is the fill-in for the strong man when he's hurt

Good Yeah, I have a good time. I went through because I went from sexy Bobby. I know To can I say you look good man? I haven't seen you in a while went through because I went from sexy Bobby. I know. To. Can I say you look good, man? I haven't seen you in a while. I see the outlines of sexy Bobby on your face right now, dude. He's trying, he's fighting to come back.

I see it, dude. I see some bone structure I haven't seen in years. Maybe it's the fucking woods. I don't, maybe you shouldn't come back, dude. This is the best I've ever seen you. I'm so scared to come back and go. This is the best I've ever seen you. Dude, I'm so scared to come back and go on the road and be by myself. Oh, dude, it's so funny. So what I did, I didn't go out to nature. I wanted to go to the to, you know, because this was a fucking, this was the heaviest year of touring of my life.

It was fucking insane. It was just like nine months straight. And it was a lot. I mean, fucking, you know, I knew, I got a little taste of it when we would go out together and I would open for Tom and all this stuff, but like, it's fucking brutal in a way that even kind of coming up, I couldn't see. And so I was like, I want to do the same thing. So I just went to bolt, the time off I did have,

I went to bolt to more to work out with my brother because I gained a bunch of weight and I was like, I need to get healthy. And so I had like, even though I wasn't the full time off I did have, I went to Baltimore to work out with my brother because I gained a bunch of weight and I was like, I need to get healthy. So I had like, even though I wasn't the full time off, I had about six weeks where I was working from there and then I had like, you know, that 10 days completely off. And so I had time to build up some good habits. And I came back to New York and I was like, all right, I haven't done stand up at all. So let me do a couple warm up shows.

The first night back, it was like, it's 2 a.m. I fucking hooked up with someone. I stayed up all night. I'm eating fucking. There's no unhealthy food in my house, but I'm doing that fat math where you try and turn healthy food into dessert where I'm like, all right, I'll put some kashi cereal, I'll put protein powder in it, a little peanut butter, I'll drizzle some fucking honey. You know what I mean? Where you're doing that shit, where you're trying, you're trying to fucking, you do fat Chinese. You're trying to make Chinese food out of ramen and tuna fish.

Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you didn't even have the packet to make the routies. You didn't have the packet. No. You crack open an egg, try and make, you get old rice and you try and make fried rice. You know, you're just get Frank's hot sauce. Yeah.

So I'm gonna try to make it savory. Dude, literally, two months of good habits versus one night of stand-up tomatty. And it was a stalemate. It was like, I didn't exactly lose because it was still kind of healthy and I worked out the next day. But I was like, this is in my house.

What happens when I go on the fucking road? I was like, I'm really in some fucking day. I'm in bigger danger than I know right now. You know what, I know what helped me. What's that? Sleeping. Yeah. I go on the road.

I wake up in the morning when I wake, I just get up on the road, wake up. I have my little protein shakes, and I'll go for a little walk or jump on a treadmill. And then if I go back to the room and I want to go to bed, I'll go to fucking bed. Yeah. Yeah, I have to fucking, I mean, I am gonna be more, you know,

I'm more cognizant of it. And that's part of what I'm saying about like, why I think I gotta hang up my, I gotta retire my condoms in the rafters and stop being such a little slut. Because I'm like, because realistically, the biggest thing is like staying out late and like fucking hanging out and trying to get laid. And it's like, it's fun. You have a little energy after the show, but it's like, you know, that's the most I would drink when I was on the road. That was, you know, I would get high and I'm like, and those chicks off, anything,

you're going to get sick. And at the same time, they want to get food at some point. Exactly. They want a, look, I just did this. You're getting me a hamburger. You're getting me a slice of it. You're getting me some type of nourishment.

I want a prize. Like they just confessed to the murder after a interrogation and they're like, all right, they're like, all right, let's get you some burgers. What else? Were you comfortable? Where are the bodies? You know, you know, sad it is when a chip cooks up

like a chubby guy like me and you. You know, like, you want to get some food? I'm on a diet. Look at it. Part of the reason I agreed in my head to treat you, because I knew you're going to take me to some fucking restaurant. I was going to get food, you piece of shit.

Absolutely. If you, especially on the road where it's like, I'm hooking up with the comedian, it's like, I wanna live his crazy lifestyle. I wanna get, you know, we'll fuck, we'll get high, we'll go to, you know, we'll get a bunch, we'll go to some crazy diners, stay out all night. And it's like, yeah, if you caught me then,

we would have had a really good time. But you caught me where I was like, you wanna come to my hotel room, have some selchers. You can blow me and then we'll eat a fruit plate. Yeah, I have crystal light. Crystal light. The fat, yeah, I love crystal light. That is such a, it's just diet soda uncarbonated

but we pretend it's fucking healthy for us. I have a premier protein shake that's 30 grams of protein. It's got a lot. It's got a lot. It's going to bind poo for a couple days, but that's not a bad thing. Yeah, so. 3x1, 3x1, 3x1, 3x 1, 3 por 1, 3 por 1, 3 por 1,

Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovecharte el 3 por 1 en medianas a domicidios solo pidiendo el line. ¿Sabá, ¿o? 3 por 1, 3 por 1, ah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sinfín de aventuras te esperan. ¡Fliparás! Huelades de Madrid, a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Tarifa sujeta a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com What's up guys, dudes and dudes, you've heard that guys' times presents is the only podcast network in the world to have injected bono medicine into the penis of paralyzed man for

content. But now you probably want to know what other shows are on the network. Well, they're worth checking out. So they got our family jewels to an awesome trivia-based drinking game podcast that you can play along from home. And it's right there on Guy Time's Feed, right? The Guy Times Feed, Times Feed alongside of a dozen other messed up series for your enjoyment, okay? So whatever your podcast interests are, check it out. Wherever you get your podcasts, Malik Jemmes has over Malik Jemmes has an ever growing variety of beautiful tungsten carb

carbide rings I have a hard time saying that tungsten carbide rings to fit any stylish version of your life All right, you guys want to look gaudy. You want to look weird and uncomfortable like rich boss, they got you covered. You want to sleep cool look like a dove David off. They got that too. You want to shine bright like your boy Bob Kelly, you know what dude, I shine bright dude, and get noticed. Well they got you covered for that. So go to mallocjams.com, use promo code YKWD to get 15% off your order. Hey guys, I want to thank all our business tier partners that have signed up. I hope these guys, you guys are checking out their companies and buying stuff off their websites. And I want to thank

all the Patreon members. Make sure you go to patreon.com, search Robert Kelly and become a supporter today. I'm gonna tell you something right now. Look at me son. Look at me. Please do. Look up at the camera. Don't look at me. Look at the camera.

Look at the camera. Look at me. Yes, Dad. I don't want you to quit. You're 32. I want you to go out there. I want you to take care of yourself. But I want you to go out there. I want you to take care of yourself, but I want you to bang, bang, and bang again. You bang until something happens to your penis,

and you gotta go to the hospital and get something taken off. And then as soon as it's filled, I want you to go bang again. You bang until you can't bang anymore. Till there's nothing left in those little Greek little yoga packets you have between your legs. You go and you go and make this happen. Yes, you go and make this happen. You understand me? Because I'm telling you, I'm listening to me. I'm in the woods in the tiny house. I get nothing. I get nothing. Sounds nice. Sounds nice right now. That's a thing. We do have, we should do a body switch comedy where it's like usually it's like two guys They're completely different, but now it's just like two guys. They're just like exactly Stample just like all the ones a little older

If you slipped into my bed at night Don wouldn't be shocked you wouldn't scream the next day Probably ask you what do you want for breakfast I didn't asking what do you want for breakfast? Oh, it's not for us. I didn't know it was you. I thought it was Bobby. Yeah, the weight distribution, if she wasn't looking, it wouldn't feel different. Yeah, not yet. Exactly.

Good, I'm telling you right now, son, I want you to, I want you out there. I want you out there. I'm out there. You know what, the realization I had was like, I'll just, I'm still gonna be a little slough for a little longer,. I'm out there. You know what, the realization I had was like, I'll just, I'm still going to be a little sluffer a little longer, but I'm going to be open to finding a way out. You know what I mean?

Where is the way out? It comes a knock-in. I meet somebody while slutting around that I like. That's, you know what I mean? Instead of being like, hey, I can't, because in the past what I would do, I would, you know, I would date, I would go out, I would hook up with girls, and I would just, in my head, I would be like, and I would say right up front,

look, I travel all the time, I'm busy, it's, I'm not looking for anything serious, so I would kind of cut off that possibility, but now, and what's happened is, for the most part, it's no big deal, right? But then every once in a while, you know, a girl you, you realize after the fact, how much you like someone.

A girl gets a boyfriend and she's like, hey, I can't hang out, whatever. And you're like, oh, man, I miss her. Other girls go away and it's like, okay, thank you. Thank you for your service. We appreciate it. You know. You have to fall the flag and hand her a flag.

Thank you so much. Thank you. We really appreciate all you've done around you. You give her a salute. You give her the towel that you wiped everything up. She's so good. Hold up and come towel. Yeah, I've hold up and come towel.

Give her the 21 guns. You give her a little towel, give her the 21 guns. You give her a little, you give her a little damage here. I know you're expecting this. You've earned it. You've made us all proud. So yeah, and that's whatever. But then everyone like this happened to me where I was like, I realized after the fact that I was like, oh, you know,

one girl in particular, I was like, fuck, I really liked her. It was great seeing her. I always looked forward to it. And instead of automatically saying, I can't have a relationship, at least, you know, be open to it is kind of where I'm at now. Instead of just being like, hey, it's not gonna work. That's not the way it works, buddy.

I'm telling you, it's not the way it works. What do you, why do you say that? Because one day you're just gonna wake up and look over at some chick and you'd be like, that's my wife. That's my wife. And do you think it has something to do with her specifically?

Or do you think it's because? It has to do with what you are here. You think? Things just happen the way way this supposed to happen. You think that you drive in the fucking car and you turn and left, you're not. You just going through life. You're going through it. And the girl that you, you don't even know, dude, you think I thought I'd be here with

D. Yeah. No, I should come up here and I used to go get locals down at where's beach and bring them up by a fire pit and try to think of pop them drop them back off I mean, I mean I used to weird shit up here dude. I mean weird. I've been coming up a few years I didn't try to check with a stutter and a hair lip up here once The stutter you ever try and trigger the stutter while she blew you to try and get like a rumble pack going rumble pack on your balls? I did it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, and her cousins come out of the woods and take her back in. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I wanted nothing to do with it. We were waiting tables. But I was, dude, I was at my peak. I was, dude, I was, I was cutting my sleeves off my shirt. Let's put a belt on. I mean, I'm not just one shirt. I'd wear a T-shirt with no sleeves and then a flannel with no sleeves.

The outer layers had no sleeves. Dude, I used to have, I used to have leather belts with the big metal, you know, like some type of dragon in the front there. Yeah. And I wanted nothing to do. And then it was just something about her that we, we connected. You're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, you're my, to... Well, for me though, that's what I'm saying is like,

you were in the time of your life where you were just kind of out and about and a girl comes into your life and maybe initially you don't even see it and then you're like, you know what, no, I think there's something here. That's not what happened. That's not, you don't go, I think there's something here. It's just one day you wake up next to that girl

and there's a kid. What a romantic story. I mean, look, yeah, I would have felt now I slice my stomach open. God, stomach open. God, yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, dude, it's, yeah, just something you wake up one day and it's just the you're looking over you like, how, dude, how do I get here? But I look, I loved on, I love, I mean, I'm, I can't tell you that, I mean, I almost, I tried to fuck this up a lot. Yeah Ten ten years right ten years maybe a little longer till I realized Stupid she's right here right here, right? I mean and here's what happens as you start to love them more They start to love you less. Yeah That's what I'm trying to avoid, Bobby.

I'd like to be on the same level of love. She barely puts up on me now. Oh fuck. You're paying up. You took out a loan. You took out a love loan in your fucking 20s when you were a piece of shit. And now the fucking interest is coming back.

And you're paying back. I look at her pre-medopause face when I wake up. That's what you get. Get in position with your sleeves off. Even your 20s. Now you're paying for it. Did sex now is like a, it's like we have to stretch. We have to use a foam roller to fully do anything.

I tried to bang in this tiny house. We have a loft bed. I had a hunch over. I'm hunched over trying to do my move. I literally drooled. Like, drool came out of my mouth. She's like, are you done? I'm like, no. I just, I had a wiper backup of my old man drool.

Fucking a loft is a daring move for a man of size. I have to say, I don't like to be off the ground. When I'm fucking, I'm just worried about structural integrity. I like being very low to the ground bed. I don't even have feet on my bed frame. It's like laying on the floor. I don't even want to chance it that much. You're gonna be fucking on a loft

as I salute you for that one. Yeah, it's a challenge in this project. We're gonna move now. We're gonna move to the couch, but we have no blinds. So I mean, I'm still paranoid. If somebody's gonna be some dude with like no teeth, it's just gonna be staring in the window. That is the one thing about the woods. It's a very city kid that I do worry a little bit. It does freak me out a little bit, but still a cabin is so nice and just like where you're at right now I'm fucking just like to be able to take a nice show in the woods. Oh, that's fucking awesome Yeah, there it is right there, but it's it's fucking great. How far how far are you from the city? Four and a half hours. Okay nice one half Four and a half hours, we still have like, I wanna move way up, like we went up to the Mount Washington

and it's rural, I mean, it's fucking rural. Yeah. I wanna go up there. She's like, now, you know, like that. I wanna be around, I would like a cabin, but it's like you're not too far from one of those little, you know, main streets. Oh yeah, you wanna little, you wanna lesbian, deli near you without question.

I know. I want a lady in a vet in the kind of flannels you were chopping off. I want her, you know, serving me prosciutto in your outfit from the 90s. Yeah, you want to, you want to die on a vest, but pulling up, making you a fucking BLT that will knock your socks off. And then her coming and helping me hang some shelves in my cabin afterwards. Yeah, you want a place where you can, you get a sandwich and a hoodie. Yeah.

And a really good wine and some cheese that they imported in from fucking India. I'm getting fucking, I'm just, I'm tearing up thinking about it. Well, you have that little rewrite down the street. If you go down the street 10 minutes There's the little town I know the little the little town

Fucking candy shot one of those old-fashioned candy shops. Oh, I do fudge. They got fudge on deck, baby I got fudge on deck and they got a bad a pickle barrel I don't know why that's so country, but hey, Earl, I'm just scooping out a pickle. You know, it's awesome. Yeah, you can buy some type of wooden toy for your kid, right? And they got switches. There's no hate to these fucking playing with a switch. You know, I'm making the effort and that's what counts. Yeah, do well listen, it's, it's, it will happen though. It will happen. You probably already met the chick you like, but you probably already fucked it up. Oh yeah. Absolutely. No,

that's what I'm really. She's getting banged. She's getting banged out. Yep. Banged out. But then someday something's going to happen. That dummy's going to realize that dummy stinks. Yeah. And you're going to be at a stage of your life where you're done. Yeah. You're gonna go on a date and then you're gonna wind up, you're gonna want to make each other. Like watch the good doctor, the kid with autism. Okay.

He wound up poking up with the chick. Season four, there was an earthquake. Your cultural tones are fucking holy, battleship in the good doctor. You really are fucking retiree. You do watch the man who's quit his job. The CBN. I don't know what I'm going to do next week.

I'm going back to New York. I have. I don't know what I'm scared to go to New York. I'm like afraid to go to the city. Yeah. And be fucking car jacked, a rape, a fucking punch. Yeah. It's not that fucking bad relax.

It's not the woods. It's not the woods. People up here do it. This is the funny part about it. When we move that people, we're like, oh shit. You know, we have all these, you had neighbors over there and there. But they're the nicest people in the world, dude. Everybody comes up here who lives here, came up here to get away from the bullshit and just live

a quiet life. You know what I mean? So everybody here is like, my next door neighbor is up here, like, you can borrow whatever you gave me or lawn mower and gave me or whatever you need. And the neighbor over there brings over vegetables. I mean, dude, you're walking up the road. I swear to God, everybody that walks by. Hey, how you doing? Everybody fucking waves. Yeah.

Now I gotta go back to the city, and I gotta deal with fucking, what Mike Pabiglia, fucking ghosting me at the table, because somebody families is there That is nice because you've laid your insecurities bear where it's like it's not the car jacking It's getting my mom. I'm not telling you good set It's me me having to follow the same comic Five times in a row and me bombing with my fucking loud horse trip.

Because now all the crowds want, they just want stories with nice endings. It's stories with nice endings. Hey, let me ask you a question. How did you, you don't want your podcast, right? Yeah, yeah, I stopped being on Come Town. Ooh, the fucking breaks just fucking. Yeah, no, I did.

It was, you know, it's a... Yeah, it's still going? They're doing something, yeah. They're doing something. They're gonna do something really funny. I mean, those guys are fucking hilarious, right? So it's like, they're gonna do a fucking awesome show. They're doing the Adam Friedland show now, which is fun. But yeah, you know, it's kinda dude,

it's similar to like, going fucking, going out to the fucking woods in some ways. It's just like, it was just the specific kind of grind that it was like, you know, I was just, I think we were all a little tired of the show as it existed and we all wanna do something a little different. And it's hard when you're making so much money to, because we had kind of settled into a groove

of just like, hey, it's paying the fucking bills. Let's just keep doing the same shit over and over again. And it was just, I think the tour kind of burned me out where I was like, I just need two months, I need two months to myself completely. And it came at a time where we were kind of thinking about ending it at the end of the year anyway. So I was just like, guys, I think I'm fucking,

I don't think I can do it. So, but it's been nice. I mean, I needed the time off and I'm excited to be on the road and work on some other shit. And just do something where it's like, you're a little more inclined creatively, because we were fucking on autopilot. You know what I mean?

It's like, it was like, fuck it, keep cashing the Patreon checks. Yeah. But yeah, no, it's a hard thing to pull away from when you're, when something like, especially in this business, any little bit of security that you can have. I know.

It's a really relieving thing, knowing that no matter what all the bullshit, you can go on the road and who gives a fuck. People show up great, I'm fucking getting that other check. Totally. So now it's all on you. Yeah, but you know what, that is a little fucking,

it's also a little exciting. You know what I mean? Where it's like, because I was kind of on autopilot. It was the kind of thing where, I mean, listen, I was working hard because I was like, I wanna get my special done, I wanna get my YouTube up, I wanna like, I put a lot of effort into this other stuff that made it so I had a little bit of security, right?

Like I wasn't gonna quit if I didn't have something going on, but at the same time, it's like, you know, you get into comedy, you get into entertainment because you're like, I don't have something going on, but at the same time, it's like, you know, you get into comedy, you get into entertainment because you're like, I don't want a job. I don't want a regular job. And it did start feeling like a regular job in a weird way. And yeah, it was, that was hard.

Don't get me wrong, but at the same time, it's also like, fuck it, you also kind of get that gambler's high where you're like, this is fucking dumb, but let's fucking let it ride, baby. You know what I mean? So, but yeah, no, I'm fucking, it's been night. I'm excited and I'm excited to do some other shit.

I still don't know exactly, you know. I mean, the tour and I'm working on a lot, I mean, I'm on the road a lot. I'm working on a fucking, you know, I'm already trying to, I'm trying to have the next special, the material ready by the end of this year and shoot the next one early next year. I gotta be honest with you, I'm watching you,

I follow you on Instagram. And I mean, just FYI, and I'm telling all you cock suckers. Yes. I never get a like from you. I don't run my speedy anymore, Bobby, that's part of it. I said, I have the same excuse. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, most rudden's mine. Yeah, I'll't run my speech media anymore, Bobby. That's part of it. I have the same excuse. I don't. I don't. I don't mush rodens mine.

Yeah, Elvis. I'll go on. I still go on and I click a nice heart to you, everyone to the line. I appreciate it. Keep your algorithm. I'll tell you I'll tell Elvis to go, reseek you out and give you likes. I mean, I mean, it's nice to fucking get up when you see baby boys. Of course. Yeah, I mean, what I'm just not seeing. That's part of no social media is kind of mentally being in the woods.

That's been a big help for me legitimately, because I was fucking spending too much time on there. Dude, I'm up here the first couple of weeks. I'm like, fucking waking up, coming out here meditating the birds of chirp and I'm walking. And now I, I, something happened. I woke up. I looked at my phone rang, and then I looked at it, and I went to Instagram. Yeah. 40 minutes later, I looked up. Exactly.

And I, what the fuck am I doing? Yeah. No. The way these videos roll, when you click on something, it rolls into things you like. I know. was role when you click on something, it rolls into things you like. I know. So from somebody's comedy that I maybe checked out to, you know, them fucking making suckle and pig, then some Asian lady,

he can fucking kimchi. And then it goes to some, you know, to betten woman fucking. The algorithm has me so bad where I was like, it was showing me delicious food, sexy women, sexy women making delicious food. And in like hot young moms where it's like, you probably want a family. And it's like a sexy woman holding a baby. And it's like, why don't you have this?

You know what I mean? And it was just like, completely getting into everything I want. So that's dude, that's why I was like, I gotta get off. And literally this summer, they were just, you know, my buddy Eldis posts everything for me.

And like, it's a lot of fucking work. Cause it's turned into like, basically social media now is like, and YouTube has become like, you run your own like fucking network. Where it's like, I have to sit, we have meetings every week where we go through the clips I approve them we write the captions we do all that shit and then I'm just like

you guys do the rest I don't want to post it I don't want to see it I don't want to read comments I don't want to see the likes and yeah they do the same thing where it's like but it sucks too because now we're where the promotional team for every comedy club that books us. I know. So we have to do these fucking ads. I gotta do all these ads. All the shit. Every show is a bringer now. Like every single show whether you like it or not is a fucking bringer. You can't really count on. Now looks maybe some clubs, some of the better clubs have a built-in audience but at the same time, if you wanna hit your fucking bonuses, you gotta fucking go crazy. You gotta be the one that makes that happen.

But, I've been lucky at fucking, dude, I was just like, it's not like I was a big crowdwork guy. I just threw on, I taped every clip, when I was working on my special, I taped every show so by every when I was working on my special I taped every show so that I could watch it back so I can make little what you know you know changes I really I really wanted to work hard on this special and I really wanted it to be good So I was like I'm gonna watch fucking game tape like I'm a fucking athlete and then I just had all these moments that I didn't even Think we're worth it, but I was like let's just throw them online, see what happens so that, you know,

maybe we can get a little like traction before the special comes out. And fucking, however the algorithm is set up, whatever people are looking into, it just fucking exploded, you know? I watched a lot of your clips, and I really did this, by the way. I was watching your clips, and a lot of them,

like, what do you do? Where are you from? Where are you? What the fuck is he doing? Is he doing comedy? What is he doing? Yeah, he's acting. And then I'm like, what is this?

This isn't his act. This is the mother shit. Yeah. I put a clip up last week of me doing the same thing. There is something where it's not, stand up. last week of me doing the same thing. There is something where it's not stand up. It's something else that, dude, I put this clip up. It's got over 630, 600,000. Yeah, dude.

It's crazy. Clip about Chicago. It's this very small clip. Well, and that's what I think, I think there's, I mean, look, I was a little resistant to it because you know, dude, I'm a, I love standup. I'm a fucking purist. Like when it was like, I didn't want to do this stuff, but I just kind of tried it to see what happened. And one thing I really, like the good thing is it doesn't burn your act, right? So it's

like, I'm never, like people come out to see me and it's like, yeah, I do crowd work because it's like, even before I posted the the clips a little crowd work to get the fucking crowd engaged is good and fun But it's this thing where it doesn't burn your material and it also is like the good ones are spontaneous like Real moments that you share with an audience member and that is what makes stand-up special is that like each show is different And there was no real way to capture that you don't really see that in specials because they're so overproduced. Everything, you know, the crowd is so well lit

that they feel like they're part of it. But when you just kind of do an offhand thing that happened naturally, people respond to it. And look, you post the fucking clip a day, not all of them are gonna be fucking great. But the good ones, I think, like the ones that I really, some of my favorite moments to be fucking great. But the good ones, I think, like the ones that I really, some of the, some of my favorite moments are those spontaneous moments.

The really good spontaneous ones where you just find something random and you make a connection with an audience. That's cool. And it's like, I think that's, those are the ones that really do the best. It's like, people want to feel like they're at the show. It's funny, dude.

You know, it's like, stand up. It's, it's placing the culture waxes and wanes. Like, funny dude, you know it's like stand up, it's it's placing the culture waxes and wanes like people give a fuck about it. They don't get it. I mean to cut you off real quick. Yeah, but Max is getting a fucking real nice hot one right now from Don and this. As we're talking about this horseshit on how to get likes She's taking away everything she just took away his iPad TV Where's what's going to hike today that's gone He was playing pornography. We you're gonna start catching a beat. No

It's picking up. Oh, man, I got a, we might have to save this kid's life in a couple of minutes. Oh, boy, oh, boy, or max. So listen, we got a couple of questions for you. Look from the hands. And also I got a couple of topics. I wanted to bring up with you One that you're gonna love They're making a then they make oh Jesus Christ I might have this step in there for a second

Whenever you need to man Who's this oh my god Ah, sorry about that. No worries, listen, oh boy. That's the one thing up here is that we're in this tiny house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not each other up here. Yeah, people in the woods. They really got some East Coast city people fucking shot the fuck up None of us have a country quiet voice of course neighbors you can barely hear him. We're like gone gone gone Yeah, you you contribute to most of the noise pollution in the fucking neighborhood. Yeah This this happened the other day and now I'm not eating shitty. I haven't eaten shitty in months Mm-hmm. I lost a bunch of weight. I'm kind of back. I'm kind of back on the the train, right? and But I'm very sad because the other day I saw the commercial

Which for the big Mac you know the big Mac Mm-hmm not Not my favorite. I'm not a big chicken, I personally. I'm not a big Mac guy, but I will get one every once in a while. Like it's almost like the caviar of big bottles. Like it's, you know what I mean? Cadillac, the good. Yeah, I mean, I'm a quarter pounder with cheese and pickles.

Yeah. Sure. Classic. Maybe even a double quarter pounder if I'm feeling like. Well, you need to spread honestly. I don't need the thing in the the middle and it's not even a watching my figure thing obviously because I met McDonald's I just find it superfluous personally. It's yeah if you yes if you use another big word I will

drive to where you are and slap you a fat face but I have a four and a half hour head start I'll be involved more by the time you're living here. It's not even the bread, it's bread, it's burger-soatting, but they just came out with, check this out. They're replacing the burger with chicken, fried chicken. Now, how do it take so long? That's all you know. Where you're like, oh my God, what took them so long? I'll tell you what it was.

Chick-fil-A changed the fucking game. It's true. They did. They did. They started a whole, this is the one time capitalism has worked recently, is the chicken sandwich wars, where you actually got real competition for the best chicken sandwich.

And then Popeyes was running the game for a while, and now McDonald's belatedly steps in. They step in, but it might be be a little too late but the fact that the because do you look at Jesus makes the best chicken sandwich we just that's it. But oh yeah. That's pretty good I have to admit. I mean dude the pickles they have the secret sauce still which is amazing. I mean dude that looks good right I mean I think they they figured out how to upgrade the Big Mac and I mean that makes me want looks good, right? I mean, I think they figured out how to upgrade the Big Mac.

And that makes me want to come off my diet and take a bite of that. Absolutely. There's, uh, it's, it's tough. There's so much temptation, man. It's so easy to be fat. It's to be fat. The Mexican is the worst though. Dude, worse.

Come on. The Mexican is terrible. Only one is worse than that is the long, big, dude, worse. Come on. The McChicken is terrible. Only one is worse than that is the long, big uh, uh, whopper, uh, mean, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh chicken sandwich first. Really? See, this is... The long one? That was the first chicken sandwich. I didn't know that. I, you know, it was more like a, it was more like a hash brown. It was like a rational distance. A difference.

It was like a hash brown that was chicken. You know what I mean? It was like a big chicken McNugget. So, McDonald's came out with the chicken McNugget. Burger King was like, dude, we're gonna make it sandwich. A long time. Yeah, yeah. And that was the shit.

This is great. I need fucking fast food I need fast food context and history. I didn't know I didn't know the Burger King was the original But it's they fall on very far. I have to It felt far because they let they they rested. It's like you quit in the podcast. You quit Good. That was the original right there. I was not original but I've had it recently. No, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not the best. But at the time in the 80s, that was the paradigm shift. It was top of the top. I mean, you went and got a chicken sandwich, right? Yeah. But then, of course, Chick-fil-A out of nowhere. Blue, everyone. Jesus.

Water. Jesus made a deal with the Christians. Yeah. And they made the best fucking I think it's intensity right? Hold my war against the homosexuals and I will gift you the best chicken sandwich in their early days My favorite video is ever is when all the gay people was lying down in front of the chick filet and there was two gay guys Stepping over the other gay guys going sorry. Excuse us. Sorry Look at that, dude.

Great, great. It doesn't even feel like fast food. They figured it. And there was a lot of to do about the Popeye's chicken sandwich, which is good, but it was more hype than anything because the chick-fil-a is still the best one. I'm sorry. I love the fried chicken. Easily my favorite fast food in the world. I think Popeye's is some of the best fried chicken I'm sorry. I love the fried chicken. Easily my favorite fast food in the world.

I think Popeyes is some of the best fried chicken in the universe. The chick-fil-a sandwich is better. If you put a chick-fil-a next to any fast food, I'm going to chick-fil-a. Yeah, that's... Unless I'm in mood for fried chicken, then I always go Popeyes. It's too much. Popeyes was the... They were the first to put on Brioche. That's what the big deal was. It was a, but still that's margins. The bread is not the fucking star of the show. You know, exactly. You know, those are really, it's very thin fried. The, the, the, the, the, it's mostly. You get a real mouthful of fucking breast. And you get that Paul and Asian sauce, you

put that, oh god. The sauce options are out of this world, Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A has a black badge. It's great. It's nuts. Chick-fil-A does it right. They have a Chick-fil-A at Hershey Park.

Oh, there's a line down the, there's a bigger line for the Chick-fil-A than there is for any of the rides at Farker Horses Park. As there should be. But I, the McDonald's, I commend them on updating the, look at that, oh. Oh my god, I love it. So, I'm telling you.

And there was a Chick-fil-A on campus at my college that came around my junior year and I gained 40 pounds. That's the best thing. Well, they had no Chick-fil filet in New York City ever, but they had one at NYU, but you had to be a student. So, me and Joe DeRosa would get backpacks and dress like students and we'd walk in,

walk right by security, right in, we'd get chick filet, we'd sit down with the students. Backed back. You didn't think to be fucking professors, you thought you could pass as students better. Well, Joe has a student better off being fucking maintenance man, getting fucking great jump suits

and saying you're gonna fix the toilets. Yeah, there it is. That's fuck. Yeah, dude, it was the most uncomfortable. It was just two old guys eating with children at NYU. It's good. Fuck it. The sandwich is incredible.

Do you know this guy, Andrew Tate? Oh yeah, he's the fucking, yes, he's the guy who says all that wild shit. He says though that misogynistic shit and he just like, he's out of, you know, he's just like, he's doing it for the likes. He's trolling that guy. Yeah, he is.

And the fact that people think that he's serious is just ridiculous to me. Dude, I saw a video where he was was like it's funny because at first I'm sure he has a couple points He wants to make but like that kind of stick runs thin and you have to pretend you believe like You you think that way about everything I spoke to you Who's like, you know you you get bottle of water and you sip water? You gay when I get water I chug water like a man. It's like, okay, you can't sip in water is gay. You have to chug your water.

I can't just leisurely have a glass of water. It's like, you're really fucking, you're really grasping it straws. You fucking, yeah. Well, first of all, chugging a bottle of water is the gayest thing ever. I mean, visually. Sure.

You might just jam the bottle in your mouth and just suck it. Yeah, it is very much. Take the throat and your dick. Yeah, men's sip, men's sip, men's sip cigars, men's sip bourbon, you know, scotch. You can't just sip every once in a while. Yeah, you never see, you never see John Wayne guzzle water. He walks up, takes a little sip, and then he goes,

where is everybody? You know, it doesn't get the finishes plate of chili with his bread. Oh, pisses me off. Yeah. Well, Mexican lady worked all day making that stew. You can put mites in how to go fucking save somebody. Yeah.

Anyways, right? So let's get to these questions. We have a question. Oh, real quick, the real issue with Andrew Tate was his hustler university. What do you mean? You had an online course that was to teach you how to make $10,000 a month through crypto investing and drop shipping

and other like, real six scam investment. You got kicked off of all social media. Yeah, that was the main reason it's for that kind of thing. I thought it was for being a massacred heist. That's why people didn't like him, but his, his same university is what really got him in trouble. I mean, he did make a couple, I did for fucking like sex trafficking.

Like I believe he made, literally, I do think he like made his money like fucking sex trafficking women. he's there's I did see an interview where he was talking about because he lives in like Prague or something and he there was something where he was like, yeah, you know, they don't really they don't really prosecute sexual assault as strictly as an America here and it's like America is too strict on sexual assault for you. He wasn't. I'm in the middle of the woods. I could go get a hand job from some old agent lady right now. The headman of John the Road. Yeah, supporting a local business, of course. Anyway, he did make a couple points. Like there was one point that he made where

if his, his woman was on only fans that he got that money. Mm, okay. I agree with that. That is pimping. That is literally. I look at, hey, listen, I, I hand my checks over to her. I go and I make my money and I don't see that. I just go here. She takes it. It's a nice relationship, though. You know, but if she went and did only fans, it's like, give me that check.

Sure. But that's for the common good. Yeah. If there was, if there was somebody that was out there that was into, you know, freckled chest, middle-aged woman, with a shitty disposition. Yeah, you want to, you want your peace? Yeah, I want my peace. I think that's more of a matter of splitting household expenses than it is prostituting your wife. I don't think you're exactly on the same page.

I mean, we're cutting hairs, but yeah, I guess. All right, here's some questions. You ready? A few questions? Do it. It's already been an hour. I can't believe it. I love you, kid.

I love you. I'm fine. All right, here we go. Ready? Yeah. Here we go. Alex H. Who's it for both of us? Okay. Death row. We're both on death row. Oh, brother. Now, see, and there is a thing, if we were both on death row, we had our last meal. You know that me and you would come up with something where we would, I would get this and you'd get that, so I could have some of that and you'd have some of this.

We would bankrupt the state if they had to fund both our death row meals in the same week. We would increase the deficit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What would your death row meal be? You know, I mean, I feel like I keep coming back to this point we talk about a lot whenever I'm on the podcast because it is our origin story, but I really think my fair meal is Korean barbecue. It's an all out, every accoutrement,

every appetizer, everything Korean barbecue. It's, you know, I just can't get an end. Now the problem is, I don't know if it would translate So well because part of the thrill is watching the meat grill. I would want more those grills We have the grill in there. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We have to have a grumpy career woman cooking Yes, our spicy pork. Yes, not making eye contact, but still giving pretty good service It's big. This is quite being very rude somehow but still giving pretty good service. This is quite being very rude somehow.

She has a sixth sense for when our pork needs to be flipped. I would want that, 100%. Yeah, I want the fucking galbi. I want the spicy pork belly. I want a fucking seafood pancake. I want extra, I want every dip in sauce. Give me the fuck the soup, the sweet egg. give me the sesame oil with salt as a dip exhaust you're like, and I want unlimited unlimited. Yeah,

unlimited fish cakes. Fish cakes. If you don't, don't give me I don't have fish cakes. I see the table over there. You guys don't give me your weird little potato salad. I don't want that, you give me the clearance. For sure. You're a weird little potato salad. I don't want that. I don't want that. I want that little lettuce with that nice refreshing dressing, that little dressing and the little chopped onions,

thinly sliced onions. I want unlimited kimchi too. Stop with the one little thing. Like we get a split kimchi. Are you out of your mind? Absolutely. I want it all. Yes.

That's so funny. And as soon as they killed us, our shit would just burn through the the fucking table we're on. It would smell delicious when they fucking alive. If they electrocuted us, everybody would go home hungry, go home and get green barbecue afterwards. We would be so saturated with marinated meats. All right, every go ready. Number two, Max O'Connor's. Stop, love your special. My question, I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not what they're doing it for? I'm still nuttin'. It's like most of the time I'm not trying to marry this person if I'm trying to just have a nice night out. Great, let them fuck it. And when you say the taste, you mean of ball sweat and old jizz? Yeah, if honestly, if it's like just a, let's, you you know if I'm on the road I am just trying to fuck a hot girl and

Probably like probably never see her again. Maybe see her But you know what I mean like we're but it's a pretty transactional either way now if I'm trying to date someone then I'll also there's different measures to that. I'm probably you know we gonna date we get to know each other if it's serious So, you know, we go on a day, we get to know each other if it's serious. So, you know, well, there is, there is, there is, there is, you, you are, you are pussy on the road to you. The show jokes. Yep. And then pussy. And then friendship. Yeah. Come on, don't kill me for this one, Bobby. I've already fucking apologized, trying to get pussy on your birthday, okay?

Just do laugh me with Aaron. I've already apologized. All right, okay, okay. I gotta let this exempt me from. Gotta let it go, foul. I grammed this, you're ready to accept the things I've done our games. Fucking stavros is a piece of shit

that holds pussy above everything. Listen, we've got, for the rest of my life, I'll take you out to dinner for your birthday. We already got one on the books. We got one Korean barbecue makeup dinner. I'm paying it back in spades. This October we're going out again, all right? Okay, okay.

I'm so dumb. Don't put me on black. I was a young man, I didn't get as much food. Now I would never do it. Now your friendship means so much more to me than pussy. But I was a young man, I hadn't fucked as much food. Now I would never do it. Now your friendship means so much more to me than pussy. But I was a young man, I hadn't fucked as much as I have now. The girl was pretty hot and I only made out, I didn't grab a titty because you had to work in the morning.

It's the biggest regret of my life, okay? Okay. Yeah. Well, I did fuck up though, that I am on record in same day. All right, all right. All right. All right, St. Ben, Stavvy.

How does it feel to be away from the podcast and use the time to focus on all this stuff? How do you like the new show? I guess we're gonna get back to that. It feels really good. I mean, it feels really good to, the fucking tough thing is like, I wish I had more time off,

like, because it's just, you know how it is, Bobbi, it is like a fucking hamster wheel, where it's like you don't feel secure in the industry, where you're like, and especially now, I'm very, I'm so happy for how the special did and like my YouTube channel, all this other shit, you're getting new fans and it's like, you kind of want to give them something,

so you kind of have to go right back on the road. I want to like shoot other stuff. I'm, you know, I'm working on a couple other things for the YouTube special that are not, you know, I shot me and my brother. We shot some fun like workout videos together that are like different stuff. I'm trying to do some, put out some like kind of like crowd work slash behind the scenes, kind of travel footage stuff. So you kind, I took a couple months off and it felt good, but it's not enough time to like really feel like I did something for myself. So I'm kind of trying to build that into my tour schedule, give myself a couple weeks

off in between. But still very good. I'm really excited to do a bunch of other shit. So I want to say hi to you real quick. Oh yes, come on. What's up, dude? What's up? How you doing?

Good. I like the hair. What do you got some crackers? Yeah, he eats oyster crackers. There's two things that my son does that I love about him. That's a little crazy. Can you get that away from the microphone? Please.

One. I can't. When we go to any diner, he drinks all the time. one When we go to when we go to any diner he drinks all the creamers Wow, interesting. He loves the creamers Oyster crackers. I can't get clam chowder. I always have to ask for like extra oyster crackers because he'll steal them Eat them and these are from these are from two days ago, by the way. He keeps them like little snacks. I love it. It's very simplistic.

All right, say goodbye. Bye. Bye. Hi. You say you you you you you you you you steal my hat. So I stole it's right there. And that. Oh, it does it does have his name on it Bob. All right,

listen, you know what else? What? No, you know what else like like you're cherry tomatoes from this farm? Okay. Plus, it's like down the street. Yeah. Cherry tomatoes are like the best thing ever. Get your hand. Get your hand off my head look a size of his hands look you got big hands look at these things there you go look at that thing did you put it? No you moved your hand all right this is gone my dad's side we're leaving in a couple of minutes

you're gonna go I'm gonna send you to jail if you don't get out here you're to do me. Stop pulling my head back. I swear to God, you bugging me. Next, come on, stop. Get out of there. Come on, beat it. Next, I get, come on, you got to go.

That's got to buy the little house. He's got to buy oyster crackers for you by podcasting. Yeah, here, take my new oyster crackers. Good bye. We saw the names. Hang on, I gotta do this. I got one more Aaron H. What do you think when you first heard

that Stav Baby app that Nick made? Can you use it with the podcast in your absence going forward? I don't know what that means. Oh, that was an old joke We did on the this the stavey baby There was a they did like a soundboard for me when I was in Greece like a few years ago. It was funny This is a good episode They just did a soundboard. They pretended I was there with a sound but I was like a sat you know They replaced me with a soundboard, but that's an old that's an old Joe. That's you know

I don't think they're using me They've done a completely different direction on the new one. And I think it's going to be fucking awesome. Yeah. Awesome. All right. Listen. We're going to do names right now. I got to read the names of the Patreon people. And then we're going to do a little plugs. And I'm going to let you go. I love you so much. Thanks for doing this. Bring the names up. Let's read these names. Oh, here we go. Katie. Ooh, I got it. I love when there's a girl. Hey, you're a medium-stop.

Read them. Katie, Simon McDonnell coming in from the EU, Daniel Vezza, absent stars, Karen Bightler, Beatler, Schemask, host, and Tristan. Thank you so much. You must get the press when you see the only 10 people subscribed. No, I want to thank you guys. Thanks for being a part of the Patreon.

Hope you like the episodes. Stavvy, baby, where are you going to be? Where can people see you? Yeah, I'm going to be, I'm back on the road. I am going to be in Phoenix. I'm at Stand Up Live, the eighth through the tenth. I'm in Pittsburgh at the Pittsburgh improv, the 23rd to the 25th.

And then Denver comedy works Miami Richmond Vermont. I'm in Burlington where we we had a great a great weekend Through December so go to stovie.biz and then go you know if you haven't seen my special yet Please watch it and I have a bunch of stuff on my YouTube channel I put out two long videos a week and little clips every day. We had a great break. Kind of because again, another situation. No, that was fun. That was that was, you know, we hung out most of the time and I had to try and hook up with a woman outside because we were sharing a hotel. I beat it. Get out of here.

We did get dumplings and you know that dumpling lady, she has a brick and mortar practice. In mortar, I can't wait, I'm going. I'm going in December, good for her. Good for you, all right, let's go. Oh, I believe that Melissa brought up, she's talking about sub places. Jersey mics, what is it?

Jersey mics is not a, that's a shame. Oh, the shame. Come on. That's a, I mean, they're good in a jam and a pinch, of course, but not never planning my day around Jersey, Mike's. This week I'm going to be in Asbury Park Thursday night, Saturday night, Bruhaha, Sinti, Bruhaha, Soul Joes in September, 10th, September 23rd, Lafactory, Chicago, where it all went down. Where we did it on your theater, remember? We did a theater, right? Yes.

And then the next item at the Monchonk Theater Opera House, and I'm Newton Theater. I got a bunch of dates coming up. Go to robbercowleylive.com. I'm back in the mix. I'm really nervous about doing shows because I haven't done shows in, I mean, weeks. And I gotta go back, I don't know what I'm back in the mix. I'm really nervous about doing shows because I haven't done shows. And so I mean, weeks, and I gotta go back, I don't know what I'm gonna do on Thursday.

I have no idea. And then Saturday, I think it's an outdoor venue, which could be nuts. Go to robbercariotlive.com and of course, go to comicwearables.com, use co-worked ladybugs, get yourself some YKWD gear. We got a new shirt going up this week. No check spots, F check spots.

They are horrific. Oh, they're the worst. Really the worst. The worst. We should send, I want Stovey, baby, to have a Robert Kelly shirt. I want to wear it. Will you wear the shirt right here?

The Robert Kelly head? Absolutely, dude, I'll wear that shirt with pride. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh my God one of those. What size are you right now? 2x, baby. What size? 2x. And what size? It's two. It's two.

I thought out of three. That's why I didn't have to be at three anymore. Back in the... You always have to ask the chubby guy to get the chubby guy. I'm gonna have Kevin our... I'm gonna have Kevin our... My man's sending you one of those.

What size are you right now? 2x, baby. What size? 2x. And what size? It's two. It's two. It's two. All right. It's what I thought out of three. That's what Baltimore. So I didn't have to be at three anymore. Back to the. You know, it's have to ask the chubby guy. Two or three times what size?

Just to give me that out. Just to give me out. I appreciate it. All right. We got at Mike V. Shora's. He's going to be with Big J. Correct.

This weekend, I'll be in Tampa with Big J. The ninth and 10th. They'll be with you on his pop. I don't believe in his. There you go. And of course, new Nikki. Thanks for doing everything in Joe. This weekend I'll be in Tampa with Big J, the ninth and tenth they'll be with Yannis Poppins at Uncle Vinnie's. There you go. And of course, new Nikki, thanks for doing everything in Joe, we'll act Joe Brussels. And we'll see you guys.

Oh, subscribe, like, comment on the YouTube page. Nice. Nice got the bleak. Whoa. I guess I got the post on it right now. Oh, yeah. Still a gun. It's still a gun.

I know that. This kid went out to the woods. He put a whole full-face camel mask on. He had a side piece and a gun. He went out to the woods by himself. And this. Great. Oh, but. Max, you need to get back into society, Bobby. You can't let him really yell at him. He knows knows up those own devices. You're not supposed to touch this knife. Yeah, you're not throwing the Wolverines over here. I will put it back. I'm not sure. After I take it off. Take it off. Give me the knife. He still is your son after all. Okay, go put that back right now. Nine. Yeah.

All right, and we'll see you guys. Ladybugs. Thanks for being a part of this live. All the Patreon members. Thanks for being live with me. You see the shows before anybody. We get a brand new episode coming up tomorrow. Mush, we're going to shoot the extra episode tomorrow back at my house because I'll be alone and sad. And then we also, you can you can call them calling on Friday. You guys the best we'll see you next week on you know what? The bye bye Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs.

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