Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Stop the Horses

Episode Date: July 16, 2012

Comedians Mark Normand and Joe "The Truth" List join the crew. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un duvena que de Maú, a Madrid. You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network.

Riotcast.com. Hey everybody, it's Dan Soder, Monster Voice from the You Know What Dude Podcast Bromney is gonna be live the 19th 20th and 21st Viva Las Vegas Bobby's gonna be at the Empire comedy at the Paris hotel So go check that out wrote Island you got from great strip clubs. Well, you know what else you got eight on the August 16th Bobby's gonna be at the comedy connection go check it out one show only get your tickets It's gonna be a boy bath. I don't even know tickets. It's gonna be a bloodbath I don't even know that it's not a proper way to actually promote a comedy show and 18th August Wilbur Theater Bean Town the Prodicle Sun or one of the Prodicle Sun's returns

One show only so get tickets now before it sells out and you guys end up getting in fights with your sweat pants and your Celtics hoodies Fuck yo, there's fucking sweatpants kid. Fucking warm up pants and sweat pants are the same fucking thing and fuck yo go Being time. Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. This is Dennis Liri. This is Opie from a lot of things This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cookin' you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what dude? You know what dude? This is Robert Kelly's, you know what dude?

You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? Can we tell the audience that Dan's claiming he's not going to drink today? And we have a pool going on how long it takes him to drink? Eight minutes. As soon as the air conditioner hits the street. There you go. Alright, here we go.

It's actually cool in here, right? It is cool in here. You like the little fans I bought? Do you like the Dan fan? Do we put it on? No, not the fans. These fans. Dan's first fan. No, he's got it.

He's got it. He can reach with those fucking long arms. You guys hear my Dan's first fan joke? I'm Mr. Johnson. I'm Mr. Tew, but you know what? I recorded it because we're on the air. Yeah! Oh, Kelly.

I knew it. I knew it. I'm best. Nick is nick. Nick's down. Yeah. We, welcome to the You Know What, Dude. Podcast episode.

102. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha You know I always go I'm the of dead. I was just about to just but out to but I do I know I do That was obviously Fat Kelly for stuka we uh, I didn't even do a test on anybody to oh shit what fuck hang on Stop the horses. I don't fucking I've done this for 102 episodes and I fucking still forgot to push the headphone button today. And then I forgot to delete because of what I do is I save I'm very I'm very lazy when it comes to recording this. I have all the stuff but I do it in a very lazy way. I just keep the same thing on Garage Band, the same podcast from yesterday,

other day, people wherever it was, and then I just delete it, and then I just start over, instead of having a new show with like a lot of guys who do this shit, sound, and fucking record, they'll save it under this, and have it, and back up, and I don't get that. So they have a library The part recording

This is that was Joe the truth Joe the truth list. Oh, we call him baby mouth Turtle mouth truth to baby mouth was made just suck on a beer We have of course Kelly for still go with that cackel I'm good how are you? Showing a lot of side bra not side titties side bra All right, just agree Side bra you like side bra, of course better than side better than side I'm saying it's not as good as side titty. No, you said sucks. I don't like that It looks better than a bra, but I'm

Spanker I see Kelly Look at that. Looks like it's a naked, I like it too. Not all of us are rapists. I want to see fucking ticked. I'm sorry that I know what I want to see. And that's not what I want to see. Oh, sorry.

And that is Dan aka... Monster Wars. aka corporate, middle of the road. Fuck it, I don't fuck with anybody as long as they don't fuck with me. Dan Soda. Robert, I'm glad you brought that up. I want to look great. And I just say I love what you're doing in the studio. Thank you. I love it. I really, and this is funny too, I know that this podcast is coming out a week later, but we're probably not supposed to, but we, you know, most shows you'd be like, just let's pretend that it's the week of. We actually, the podcast you heard last week, we did that yesterday.

I'm going on vacation. So let's pretend like it's a week later. Okay. But two months from now, this is coming up. I'm not one, two weeks, two weeks for last. Whatever you need, he's going to help your career. Okay. I was going to plug a show. It needs anything. Well, we can actually do a plug and put it on next week's show if you need is gonna help your career

Need anything well we can actually do a plug and put it on next week show if you need to all right if you need be Anyways, I got a piece of your fucking turkey stuck in my my my was chicken blazing buffalo chicken. It's delicious Borset. Yeah, yeah, you know, it's a son of a fucking true alky when he just shows up with a one-delly One-delly meatle-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le- So this is the best fucking deli meat ever fucking boys. Dude I get this from Bob's fucking baby Dude fucking car. So it best. I was gonna get like cash is bread, but they didn't fucking have any today Another boy's in reference that I don't know We have a very special guest another a new guy to the show. I don't know him But you guys vouch for him. Yeah.

And you guys haven't steered me wrong since we started. You know, you guys are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hate him away here. I thought you were going to go in other direction.

I brought meat but it's in my jet. Thanks for having me. Thank you. And welcome to the show, man. So where are you from? We don't care. You know what it was? We had guests today or actually last week, wink, wink.

Or as I go, that's what I do after my jokes now. You're a mom's bit. I grew up here, mom's bit. Down the horses. You know, I have that joke in my act about my grandmother's foot. She doesn't take care of her feet and they're disgusting. I love that bit. Thanks, man. Never heard it.

And someone's mic just got shut off. Okay, not you relax. do you mad at me? Relax chicken boy just keep drinking Where at that sound effect where go my grip? If she doesn't wear socks, it sounds like a horse walking through a bargain lot It took me three years to learn how to go I love the thought of you practicing it But I would do it But here's the thing this self the crowd didn't give a fuck cuz I'd just go on stage and I go

And that they still laugh I'm like that's not even anything anything, but now I got it down Noise is funny tell him to That's how I face what my whole career of me riding on everything on noises. I do a horse in my act that sounds exactly the same as a blinker. Let me hear it. I like your horse. Yeah, it's pretty good. Is that the you know using joke? I could never do that. You know why? I could never do that one because your mouth is small. Tiny man. Tiny. I have a big mouth. Anyways, so yeah, we had a podcast yesterday or last week with

uh... Mmm. Lazzleau. Lazzleau's great, I fucking love one. Oh, I'm sorry, we can't joke with fucking Lazzleau. Robert. Hey. All of our guests.

Here's the thing. Our family. Here's the thing, we did have one and I kind of did snap it last little bit Yeah, that fucking bug me. What we fucking comments? You want to be in hot you want to do acting? There's one being movies Yeah, I can do cuz I can't buy any food right now. That's why I do a show is here yesterday You would have snapped all of them you would have been drunk enough at that point Yeah, last was a friend of mine. He's one of the guys who rock star video games and he came on promoted Max Payne 3, brought everybody shirts. I

actually I got you one. Oh really? Yeah. I'll take it. I did. Well, I got a large for you. Oh, thanks buddy. I brought Buffalo chicken. Yeah, that's all done. I have a long back back. I brought buffalo chicken. Yeah, that's all gone. I have a long back back. Joe's divorce dad snacks. Yeah, it's fun. Hey kids, listen, I know your mom cooks your real meals. I brought one for Mark.

Mark. Yeah, take me a minute, dude. Do it all day. I got one for you, too, but then that little remark, I took it back. Oh, see? I'll win you back over. So now you're going to get a Resident Evil original shirt.

That was a bad remark, Norman. Anyways, I'm... Oh, my God. He was on the last week. Everybody. He was on last week. It was great to have him on Empathre from Crinchyoma. And then that other dude.

With the Liberacci Mach. Well, he's actually one of the guys who's gonna be managing the new club, The Stand, which is popping up in the stadium. Yeah, yesterday I was in a fucking, I mean, we've yet last week. I was in a fucking, I was in a, I've been, you know what,

that one statement sent me off so much because I've been doing so much shit lately with the fucking, you know, doing shows, traveling, fucking the book, writing scripts, auditions. And then when somebody says, well, you don't have time to play video games. Well, you have all day, it's like you fucking, you motherfucker, I hate when people think comics,

I just fucking just sit around all day and do nothing. I know. I know you do Joe. I thought, but that's what's going to show. I thought Lázlo nailed it. I know. I know. I know a thought he knew you do Joe. I thought I thought last load nailed it. I know a lot of time for video. He did in a way, but not with me in the last three weeks. I've been waking up at seven going to fucking boxing going to get into done. Because but Robert Kelly is losing weight. I'm fucking losing it. That's a good color on you too. You look slug.

That's how it's starting to happen up here. Yeah. The face. Yeah. Starting to see that all over your years will be let's see your Adam's apple. Oh, unlike you guys, which is just no matter how fatty gets that fucking throat will stick in. Yeah, a little fist in your neck.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I'm like, an eating something there. Yeah. Joe, can you see mine? Girls, I wish we could. Do they really? Girls do have an Adam's apple. Yeah, it's just less prominent. All the girls I've been with in fact.

No, they do. They have Adam's apples and big dips. You can go, if you had your computer thing, you could do. We'd have an internet joke. Oh, damn it. Try to fucking ship me and get me in trouble. No, she said I'm trying to get you Joe To do it. He's not doing you don't defend. I will defend Joe list

I defended you against last low pony tails intimidate me I love that Joe is your Kelly Oh, ponytails intimidated me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We know who you are. I don't want to I was brutally hung over yesterday. You did so well. I apologize. No, you're good You're literally was three times right to stop talking because I thought I was gonna throw on really Why were you why were you so hung over? Oh? I remember because you're at a party that I wasn't You know my wife said last night when I told her that she went, oh, baby Call it up. You know, my wife said last night when I told her that, she went, oh, baby. Oh, man.

I wasn't invited. It's probably what you didn't get to go. No. I know it's your best friend for like 10 years. This handle, you didn't let him listen to the work. Joe, you didn't go? No. What the fuck?

I don't even know where. Where the hell are you, man? You want to know? Who are you? Yeah. Because maybe if you guys had a little more buzz in the industry, I was scared. He couldn't even finish his sentence. You want to know who I am? Because maybe if you guys had a little more buzz in the industry, I was scared. He couldn't even finish the sentence.

Cover Dan was too strong. He couldn't finish it. He meant that. He really did. No, I didn't mean really. Jolus was in Montana. Can I just say something? He'd people the Derosa.

Derosa every year. Derosa wouldn't admit it. Derosa has a party every year and you go there and it's the heads of everything and like Keith Robinson. That's it. That's the only real friend he has there. And then he's doing the thing where he has his glasses on, then he takes them off, puts them on a shirt And he's sitting there with a thing, like a tumbler of whiskey and he's like, well, you know, I mean the state of the industry You gotta be careful, shooting on Deroso on this podcast. I read some of the the comments people fucking love that. Yeah, I love them too

We love them too. I know but I'm saying the fans will they'll fucking no Find no shoot us no they won't they'll actually make fun of that fucking no-shouldered fucking twat too Drupin body I'm pent up anger with that guy. Well, I'll tell you what's gonna be fun when we do it, when you get back from out of town. Right, drunk episode. Well, here's the deal. I gave Joe DeRose to the other night, comp long.

Comp long? I say come by whenever you want. Comp long. So he could stop in right now. In fact, he's a jerk to Rose everybody. You guys wanna hear a bit about Eagles or a bit about dogs What the fuck is that I don't know he's grabbing his tip which is very uncomfortable I don't know what that is. What is that is that the roasted does that he gives the crowd the option he does

He's gonna hear I don't know about Eagles and dogs, but well where were you from dude? New Orleans new one on New Orleans Yeah, no no I got myself a co-forty-five single action down the wall and a punch up here to bed to bed to bed to buy the black guy But yes, no comedy there, but it's a hell of a town. Yeah. Yeah Well, what do you do? They got a lot of fucking serious voodoo going down on that the devil be down there Bobby Bouchet be tackling people. That's a pea rogues, broadets. What is the, they have a lot of fucking crazy shit though. Like they believe in like spirits and certain,

like I saw this the other night, Lady calls the cops. Yeah, because of a spirit, I don't know the name, it's an owl, it's a luna, some fucking whatever. The luna, but it coming out to house, right? That's a white lady. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, I guess it's a spirit

of dead children and they come into the barns and braid the hair of the horses. Wow. Okay, now this is weird because she's like, the lady's literally freaking out. She's, she. I mean, legitimately, this lady's not fucking around. And all these shows you can see that it's produced, or post-produced, they'll tell them,

this lady's literally like my fucking ho, she's sweating, she's losing a lot. Oh, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, yeah, exactly. And then she goes, the, Loonu now has come, or whatever, what the fuck they call them. I don't know if we have a,

I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, I'm not in a body, really like my fucking ho she's sweating she's losing the body of the the yeah exactly and then she goes the the moon now is come whatever what the fuck they call them on a we have internet we'd google it but fucking we can't get internet but um and she they explain what that is and they go to the barn and the horse is sweating like fucking wet like he's just ran for fucking three days pussy wet and I'm not pussy wet

and I is all their hairs is really, but braided really nice. And like three bled braids on each horse. And there's like four horses, she goes, you couldn't do this in a half an hour. Ha! That's what she said. And I was like, this pretty fucked up.

And the cop was like, look, I'm gonna look around, but I just got trained to be down here from the NYP. Shoes from Boston, actually. I swear to God, she was from Boston. She'll fucking horses, get in that fucking hair, braided. You'll fucking.

What? That's my dad's. That's what I'm talking about. I got a bit on the horses. Literally, it's his horse. Joe's dad, hell of a pool player. Yeah, really? Does he have a pool, a pool queue that he can

unscrew in the middle and put it in his own little fuck in our case? I'm not talking to him, I really know, but no. Does he have a Balbushka? What's that? I don't know, it's a fucking pool thing, isn't it? I don't know. I think that's a pool.

I think that's a color of money. Kelly here. Can you go go Balbushka? I think I can go Balbushka at all. No, a Balbushka pool queue. Just put Balbushka pool. It's only called Candates in Australia. Here's the can you go go about Bushka? Like a busch at all no about Bushka pull cue just put about Bushka We go candidates in Australia I think this house is on a lean I just rolled down the Synchol this fucking goddamn buy you boys bringing some boo-doo to the fucking podcast bring a one of them ruler

Kill it gonna have a hell braided in 30 minutes Like a goat come into the hole get the horse a hell Did you find it? They don't internet mist. Why how do I get the internet? Let me see let me see for a second and take over the podcast. Where's your house on it grown up? Oh, yeah It was really like you actually saw ghosts. No, of course not. I don't know I've never seen ghosts go stuff real. It's unbelieved Patrick Swasey Give us a performance of a like that. Well, Bobby can smell ghosts. I can I can I can Why do you say that was it's hilarious? Yeah, but you don't believe me do you? Well, you know you scared me actually

You freak me out Chicago. Yeah, cuz you believe me when it's time to hear With there's no ghost cuz I can smell them you don't fucking fear me But we're in the fucking ghost hotel in Chicago. That's when you need me. That place was fucking haunted. Yeah, and I smelled it out of the fucking, I smelled it. What's smell? It's a smell of ghosts.

Yeah. Bobby Kelly is smelling ghosts. Yeah. Do you need to smell like a bit like cotton candy or something? No, that was, you think it's about like dead people. It smells like it's musty and yeah it smells like old people. It's very musty and like mothpolly. I'm a sousi-essman.

Who's sousi-essman? She smells like mothpoles. Fucking comic. Oh shit, that was a career. No, she's on the... Her... Yeah, her enthusiasm. I love that.

I actually did... Very nice leave. I love that. I love that. Shit, that was a career. No, she's on the... Her... Her enthusiasm. I love that. I actually did... Larry, you piece of shit.

Byron Allen with her. Did you do comics at least? Oh, I did it with her. I did it with her. Hold on, can I buy her an Allen? You're a Byron Allen story? Yeah, go ahead. Hey Bob, you recently were hanging out with Byron Allen?

Why, how did that go down? Well, funny thing you asked me, weird that you just bring that up out of the blue because I wrote it down and told you to ask me, but it was fucking nuts. Oh. Oh. Ha, ha, ha.

I swear to God, it was fucking crazy. Ha, ha, ha. I mean, it was retarded. Ha, ha, ha. Now, Joe, Joe, you're drinking a beer. You're drinking a Joe do you like drinking beer? I love drinking beer. What?

Welcome back to You Know What Dude Unleashed. Mm-hmm. Oh boy. And welcome to a screeching hall. I like to pump the brakes sometimes. Take it over, Dan. It's all your show. I'm looking for something.

Dan, come on. Dan. Dan. Dan. Norm McDonald was on Then. Then. Then. Norm McDonald was on Comic Sun leash, then. The opening line was so normal. I hear you're getting older. It's like, yeah, yeah, we all are.

Thanks. It was a great story about, no, I'm Norm McDonald when he first joined the season of SNL. And I was doing all the press junk it with everyone. And it was like really serious. And they asked Norm, they was like, so norm. What did I get on CSNL? What's it gonna be like?

It's like, eh, well, it's really great. You know, it's just gonna be a lot of riping. Ha, ha, ha. Hello. Hey, what do we tell you about your voices? So the same voice. Yeah. It's just a slightly higher or lower off side.

Yeah, I get over the edge. Just tell you what's going on. I just don't know. I keep going in here. This is my go to the ball bush. Go. Poo cue. Okay.

prestigious and accurate with about bush. So I expected apology. It's fucking real. You know what? About bush. I thought you made that up. I fuck dude. I was a champion in juvenile hall and fucking.

It's just a cake recipe. And he loves crossing. I think I like him better than Nate. It's just a cake recipe. And, uh, he loves frosting. I think I like him better than Nate. Now direct you a fucking evilness at somebody else. I've got ammunition for him. My eyes are white or apart, so it's easier to look at them. I, uh, but his hair is going, I, uh,

Did your hair go in my hair? Yeah, I got it. You better hope that they greenlight that norma Donald prequel You know a story of norma Donald you know I can tell his hair is going because I have that same curly hair Yeah, I stop I stop yeah, I go in the future northern You know what's gonna suck to is that he's got the same thing as me with a front tufft is just really thick and it's just gonna He's gonna have just a little baby girl What's what clown head that's what I have now dude if I grow my hair can you not say it like that?

Can you please do it? Do you want me to grow my hair? Yeah me and tight forehead over here I think Mark has a more prominent Adam's apple than I do have a Hold on for my view it looks like a fucking Mail the mountain yeah you could play in a new hamster maybe last you know for a flat tire did you know the yeah but ever was talking that man on the mountain New Hampshire it fell down New Hampshire was no for there it fell down and people are fucking sensitive

about it yeah I was in like doing a show New Hampshire I was like yeah how about that man the mountain and people were like booing they're like fuck you there's a rock that looked like a guy. And it's on the money. You wait if everyone's in the market for that. You know, we could rewind. You know what Tim, Mark? Can I just say, I don't like when Joe does anything

from his act, he actually holds a microphone. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You don't have to pay to my fucking Victor Bernado. I don't hold a mic like this. You should Yeah, his your Adam's apple you could fucking play bluegrass on That's a fucking big Adam's apple. It's a dosing. Yeah, it hurts sometimes. It doesn't really It pierces. What do you mean? Oh, for that actually? Maybe when you never stood in the sangle of you It is I've never even noticed that now I can't stop looking I want to give you the heimlick. Are you choking? Approach by women with this thing. Really? Never good.

We've got a girlfriend, say kind of doing a thing about it. What are you doing to the kids? What are you doing? Come on. Jesus. No, he really tries to be one of the dudes, but fails miserably. She really, she's on it. She's like, they're just cock blocking.

But she's like, hey, hey, hey, we having fun. Yeah, maybe when you got that disease. What the fuck are you talking about? It's like, oh, Bobby Kelly, Joe. Yeah, find the disease with a voice. We haven't found how many when you got that disease Bobby Kelly Joe yeah, find the disease with You doing great like just Kelly I want to know about the horses breeding their hair I don't know what they call what do they call those down the barrier? What is that a ghost a spirit a vector of Boy, we don't know how you roll down on the fucking bio There are a lot more honest After harcane Katrina, but we don't do that all right. We have laws and regulations up here. Did your parents house get fucked up?

Oh, did we lost the whole roof really came right off Yeah, really it was crazy. Oh no shit. We're how close to Downtown do you live? About ten minutes ten minutes. Yeah, then you grab the whole life whole life. Do you want to open that beer? Oh, you got it? Okay, um, you're really little what are the things? He could fucking open up a behind it came with his Adam's apple So you so it fucked you what were you living there at the time? I was in college at the time so I was in Baton Rouge, which is an hour away. I was at LSU and Fancy school. Oh, yeah Harvard of the South we called it. No one what what did you?

What are they? What are they what did they what did you take when you were there? That took film film real cop out really No, that's great. Yeah, we're gonna be a you're gonna be a director or I wanted to be Woody Allen I went to New York film Academy. I was like this sucks really you got to rely on a lighting guy grip You know you got to write it and actors then I just like I want to do something by myself You got into standup. Yeah, how the fuck did that? Will you in that in college you getting to that in college? No, no I lived here and I was at film school all day and I would do stand up at night just to just to fuck off. Yeah, no shit. And I was like fuck film. This is more fun Really so now your parents must be sick. Yeah, they're not crazy because they paid for the school So you have a house with no roof on it that yours that your parents left you I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm a little fucking how long you been here? Five years five years. No shit. Is he funny? Yeah real funny? Yeah, I've been up for sure my last way. Gendini San Francisco Kelly. Yeah, I'm it's searching. It's loading. I'm kidding I always wanted to do that. So I hope the finger up hold hang on Well good man. Welcome to the show. Welcome to I'm glad you fucking through all your parents LSU is expensive oh yeah and they fucking is it you toss that out the window to fucking do creaking the cave yeah a huge party school too it was it was bad

wow so you're fucking part of your oh yeah we had a house with like five guys I had to it was it was a good time we I mean charade small back in the even me uh burly bear, you ever hear of that? No. There was a network, it was like MTV Fecologists, Lauren Michaels ran it, and they tried to kick it off around, I don't know, 15 years ago, something like that, Fecologists, and I was a VJ on it.

This video, you can find that on the, you know, me like, I'm like, please, I want to find that. Is it sexy Bob? It's sexy Bob, and I'm'm like hey, what's up? That was you know that was Metallica Coming up box and I'm on a couch with that crazy MTV angle Like coming up next man. We got some fucking tickets to give away that type of shit

I want to launch it. Oh so bad at it Well that up will you and I'll get the video But then we did a tour and we did all these colleges and I don't fucking drink and I didn't go to a real college. I went to a community college so that was like fucking high school. That was 13th grade. You show up in the afternoon, you go to see Pitt, hang out, try to get some pussy and then go to your fucking illustration or watercolor class and call it a fucking night. Which one did you go to? Uh, Bunkie Hill. No, that's what Robin Williams teaches.

That's a movie, Joe. Oh, that was, that wasn't real. You know what? He's talking about that. Wasn't a documentary. That was in a documentary. And I can't, yeah, that wasn't real. Matt Damon's not a mathematical genius. No, I was.

Geez. I'd be fucking amazing if I had to. It just turns out that you were like one of the best at math in the world, but you just chose stand up. Yeah, and not to spell. Yeah, I'm the worst speller ever. And he's awful. But, you know, they never really got into that with him.

Did he suck at other things? I don't know. Probably. Yeah, anyways, yeah, we went down and we did all these colleges. You fucking animals, animals. Me and Shuroud, I forget what college it was They had these fucking everybody's room was set up to be some bar like a different type of bar Like one was a tropical bar one was like an old school bar and these kids made this shit themselves

And there was chicks everywhere dudes everywhere fucking alcohol everywhere And then that's the point, there was a chandelier in the big living room, foyer, whatever it was. When we did the show in the flat house, and we were just throwing frisbees at it, just smashing all the light bulbs. And that was, and everybody was just dying laughing at it. I just remember going, this is fucking retarded.

Like, I need to get out of here right now, because this is just Chris and they do this shit all the time. Oh yeah, Fred's were Chris we were talking about this. Yeah, down south they would do like fake lynchings in the front lawn at the Fred houses in LSU was crazy. When everybody was fine with it. Wait a minute I'm talking about fucking.

Oh yeah. Bobby's talking about fun and Mark's like you want to know real fun. I know. Just see some of the things we did. Whoa. Yeah, dude you really fucking you really just went on you took a left. How would the fuck dude? We used to fucking go. Koon. I mean I wasn't fucking. One of those guys called that we were talking about that were the polo with the things up

and they'd live in the bayou. They're called Koonass. Koonass. Yeah. What is that? It's like these white guys. They catch alligators and you know, they're wearing like polo shirts Would flip the collar look nice see your sucker shorts, and how do they what is what are he's like teaching me some of the things They say it's fucking hilarious. I get wrong tea. It's that shit. You know, it's all that I love that shit It's like Trimado and I don't get you know what I love the fucking by you. I like swamp people I like swamp people's great I just like those people that just say, I don't know, yeah, I tell him, but now he's alligator.

But that's just like fucking, I can listen to these and people, I guess they're fucking, I love rednecks, man, but happy rednecks. Let me get three more beers. I'll sound just like. I don't like fucking, you know, that fucking Kentucky angry fucking, you know, fucking devil ants. Yeah. You know, those, those West Virginia angry red necks that you went from around here. Yeah, but now when you live there lag, mountain down, mountain, mountain, mountain, mountain

, mountain, mountain down. I'm a pro fish on a Thursday morning. I'm a mountain body. What's your name? My name baby love. I dribbled on. Listen, my brother, little trippled on. Oh, you take him to a dip or a dab or dip? Oh, you take him to a dip or a dab or dip? Oh, you look like a shabled on my brother little trippled on

Oh, you take him to the table there, but I'm like a shabled dog come on over here, buddy. You want a hot dog? You want a minute to take him along going here and give it to more dad. That's not like scary fucking Yeah, I Would you go Nothing Where'd you go? Oh, just listening But yeah, the bar thing it was you had to build a bar in your flat like we we built one I was called the glory hole. We just cut a little hole in there really we put a girl in the back no way

Oh, yeah, it was like just a good hang on stop. Wait. How are you going from lynching to raping what? Oh, it's an oral rape so it's not as bad. Did you really a girl will go in there and it's good fun wait seriously they're just go below hang on one second who did you bring to my show the cops are gonna fucking smash this door down any second and we in post can we put a laugh where he said it's oral rape so it's not as bad because it was really dead and it just felt weird thank you I. I didn't laugh. I'm scared but... Throwing some little chuckle and making it seem a little lighter. But I mean they were up for it.

Yeah, we'll jazz it up in post. I'm fucking love Joe. Mark's just losing Twitter followers because they're breaking people's mouths. Yeah, they were into it, you know. And those seriously, I mean you really had a bar called the glory hole and a chick would get in there and just suck any dick that went through No, no, I mean, you know, you should know the guy But the guys or guy Was it more than one guy? Don't back out now motherfucker

Because you have guys on your side and there's a lot of people not on your side So you got to you got to keep the people that are on your side, you understand? Was it to cheat below a few guys? Yeah, I'd be like oh Karen's here glory hole, you know, it was one of those Oh, wait a second slap it ahead Yeah, I'd be like oh Karen's here glory hole, you know, it was one of those oh I was like slap it ahead Hang on one second, so let's pretend we're in the glory hole ball right now Kelly you're gonna be playing the part of Karen. Yeah, you're Karen. All right. Here we go. Hey, what's up, man? I can see you brother. Hey, look Kelly's here

Did you fucking sand that thing cuz last time I got a splinter That was my the way that splinter was your cock you fucking They got them know that it was coming down here. I know we're all talking leg Alright boys, yeah, you're right even though it's a joke There's something really creepy about the floor of you fucking doing that where I'm carrying sucks Now we have to read. Mark Karen's roommate. Karen's awful.

Karen, you're cool. You're all part of each other. Get another garrison Charlie. Karen, you changed. Alright. Karen's a bummer. Get Karen some Charlie and then this party will get kicked out. I did some last week.

It was really good. She's a sclerk. Did you see? We talked about that? Yeah. What about us? Wait a minute, that wait a minute slow down slowly is cocaine I would never do that in this country because I might not be able to stay in this country I'm talking about a story a long time. Yeah, we're talking about cocaine. We're talking about Charlie

Yeah, first of all do you think the FBI listen to my podcast? My ass is fucking going through this stuff. Like, let's check it on that girl. How funny would it be if they were and she got booted? Uh, we Kelly. I would imagine how you imagine how long that text message would be. Uh, you're like, nine. Just he, he, he, he.

I don't know what happened. I'm going to the window. Is it any nice? Please help me. Listen to me. They put me back on the boat. Yeah. I don't know what happened, mixing on out, a go-kirney mando, a zippin' e-n-na-is, a booby-pleet-sale, a hippo-bee, a zippin' e-n-me-the-put-me-back on a boat. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa than a plane? No. I don't think so, I think so, I just can't do a plane noise. So, ah,

ah, ah, but that's an L where it's Norm McDonald's the sketch artist and he can't do hair or anything. That's always the uniform. That's funny. You can't even be out.

Dan just wanted to do, Dan, he did a fucking boat from the fucking 1600s there. But I nailed it. But I nailed that boat. Hey everybody, I just flew in. We got gambling on the first floor. And we got Ken Ken, Dancer's on the second.

Let's get back to Kelly's crippling drug addiction. OK. No, I haven't done any ages. I get a text from her four years ago, which you were still living in Australia. Because we did this podcast last week. It was a reply to your text. I know, but it was a, oh, I feel weird.

I don't know. Say it. Fuck that. Well, it's funny because you're like, we should all get together and hang out with Charlie. Do this. And if you mentioned my girlfriend and me, you've never met Charlie. Slick your Adam's apple when you say that. I was really high when I wrote that. When you texted me, I was really high. My girlfriend's been sober for three years. I didn't know that. I've never done it. I know. What kind of friend are you? I like Kelly's like that. You guys want to burn about it? Yeah, there's like a shimmery dress alone in her

No, I know it's fine. I Listen, I'll tell you Kelly is addicted to cocaine. No, I picked you and I have worth on my asshole that won't leave You know you're on that My hair is back in a tight ponytail like guys a guy with a mustache passed out on her bed She has that white stuff in the corner of the mouth like fucking Robert Downey Jr Less than zero I have to go to suck and dick for heroin I'm slip for four days. That's a great. I'll tell you the rest of the story

I was hanging out with a boy that's been hanging around I was hanging out with a boy that's been hanging around Blowing lines off the deck Look at Phil's leaving. He's mad Phil's leaving. She's banging up. You just you missed the reveal Yeah, I know she's been in Puerto Rican but Phil fucking dude five o'clock Phil just got mad No, he's gonna go. I made his girlfriend. She's sorry. She's not Lisa. All right guys. I would have everyone's girlfriend Yeah, you fucking Do you know that? Cocked a lot.

Watch out people. I have a wife. Next thing you know, yeah, all that side pussy from the podcast is gonna wear off. All right, so yeah, I say he's put a rickian, but I have to tell you the one thing about the story, but I got to do it in the Mark Norman cadence. One thing about those put Rican guys, hate condoms. Oh, this guy, I could not. I don't know. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Here you go, Kelly. Stop. First of all, that was your Norman impression as well. No, it's weird. Why does my mic stay? I get sounds better. I got it in my mouth. I smell

ghost. It's in my mouth. No, boy. My smell, Kelly. I just take shit. That ghost is the idea of not thinking you're gonna get laughs than not. No, I wasn't. This is the new deal. Ready? See this, Ben Danner. This, Ben Danner. Okay, this is no. I'm gonna turn your mic down.

We're keeping it up, because you're gold. I can't do that. I can't do that. This new Ben Danner goes on the fucking microphone of the last stinger. So put that on your fucking microphone That's your fucking you Calis taking a bomb Calis taking a bomb time that fucking thing on there

She was saying that Puerto Rican's don't like condoms no, they don't yeah, we all know that Yeah, but she okay, hello You didn't know that you thought they were very Responsible can I stop her second control? I'm known to like and I'm like and it was a battle and I'm just like listen It's not it's not Puerto Ricans. It's every guy doesn't look a con we all try to fucking stick it in without a Guys don't put it up a fight like most guys well, did he have a nice to you? What is a well you know most guys don't held you down and say they're gonna

Many family back in your down island Kelly. What do you really put up a fight? Whoa, that's where you guys didn't happen to be on a boat The only way this could be worse is we were on a big It was the first one, but we didn't do it yet. These are he's making fun of himself So he's he's actually getting he's getting credit now. It's gonna you know, you're not bombing all the time Listen wow you've never seen all the Bomb and all the time I just like Max Kydans, but if you're gonna bomb don't

do my voice. I was so bad. Norman's losing work. Yeah. I just lost the Charlotte funny bone. All right. You're going down with the ship. Kelly.

Kelly. Oh, I got a funny story. Wait, one second. I need to know Kelly. Kelly, I want to know. You're laughing at me. Kelly, Kelly. Focus. Listen, one second. I need to know Kelly. I want to know. You love it. Me. Kelly Kelly focus. Listen one second. I want to know. I want to know. So what is this guy? How does a guy put up a fight? Are you saying please put on a

column? And he's like, no. And then you're like, please. Like, you're like, no, fuck that. Jamser. Yeah. It's just like, it's like, I want you to reenact what you did. I'm, I'm you. reenact what you did. I'm I'm you You're the guy He can you please are Dan you be her and you be the guy ready? Okay, and be serious. You try it, please. Okay Kelly go all right, you know you're the guy you're the Puerto Rico Yeah, you're fucking what's his name Rico?

What's his name why cuz we know no, okay? What was his name? What was his name? Why? Because we know him? No. Okay, guys. No less. Kelly, give me that wet poster. No, it wasn't. He didn't say anything.

I want to have a fist your ass. I'm going to take you down. I'm going to roll blade and then fuck you in Washington Square Park. Listen, go ahead. Go at your Kelly. Dan, your Kelly. I'm going to be decent.

Yeah. I need more Charlie. You got me more Charlie. I need to be nice and get up You're on cocaine and you're that's why you're fucking the Puerto Rican That's why you're cash register mouth go ahead go go Kelly go All right, baby you want to do this? Okay, yeah, let's eat No, it's weird. I'm fine. No, that's weird. Come on the pill. It okay. No, I know But you need to come to I don't know everything. I'm so much

Gaya support a recon I've ever met Slap more kids slap more kids Come here Joey Get more patch Fuck me on a beanbag. Fuck me on a bean bag. A bean bag. Alright, so listen. So, so he, he just is like fuck, and did you fuck him? No. Whoa.

She blew him. You blew him? Yeah. Fuckin'. God damn it though, I love Kelly. She really is. God damn it. Fuck.

Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. I don't fucking care. If you think women are fun or funny, you are funny and not. This broad is fucking honest. And she sucks and thinks she tells her friends. And last night I was hanging out with another guy. And I was in his house.

Jesus. I went home. Yeah, yeah, then I went home. You fucked him and then went home? Yeah. What is Kelly doing? She's fucking crazy. I want my hat.

Boom. How poor the show is on fire. How poor the reacon is. Yeah, you've got a lot more. Hang on, hang on, hang on, guys, guys, guys, guys. What did you say? boom How poor the Joe's on fire how Puerto Rican like you've got Hang on guys guys guys guys. What did you say? Said how Puerto Rican is he like full-blown Puerto Rican like Bronx, Puerto Rican. Yeah, like was his dick like nine different colors of brown

Right, was it the yeah? Yeah, was it like light brown and then dark brown and then light brown and then dark brown like the neon Molotin Yeah, then the head was just like a different like a Tanny brown you're describing the buffalo chicken I brought You know what the weird thing is I've never been sitting dick pic before but he sent me a dick pic Let's see it. Let's see it. Yeah Come and stab you though always not he's not you think he's gonna hear it. He raped her. What else can he do?

Plus he probably doesn't want to have another fucking Coke-filled conversation with Kelly. Her sober, she goes a million miles an hour. Can't imagine her on the fucking- Let me see if there's Dan. Can you imagine? I am fucking brutal. She didn't even look at me. She was like, you better see if there's even a-

Oh. Give me the fucking thing. Let me see this con. Can I just preface it with- You're just. I just want preface it with, I'm going gonna show you, and I'm only gonna show you. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is why,

because I've been around too many other comics where they show pictures of their girls or their girlfriends naked, and I really can't stand it. I don't, why would I do that? No, I just, I've too many guys, I've seen, do it. Everybody's eyebrow on the show just went up and I went, who would do that? They all look like muppets.

All right, let me see this cock. I'll show you about it. I want to see this dude. I know this dude. Easy, huh? I don't want to be lumped in. I don't want to be lumped in. Ever since you broke Lewis out of straight jail.

I've got to find it, I'm sorry. I didn't break him out. He fucking smashed out. Oh, he did. He is dynamite. Lewis is gay. He really is. I'm sorry. I didn't break him out. He fucking smashed out. Oh, he did he is dynamite Lewis is gay. Oh, he really is I love him. Do you see that video he posted of him after the podcast? No, it was great I was with I didn't I don't know how he talked about he tried it started pouring of rain when he's on his rollerblades trying to go to where he had

Go we're going his butt down fucking west And then he caught a hailer cab to get the cab because it was raining They wouldn't let him in because of the rollerblades and he had a massive argument with the cab driver And the cops came in and they all have an argument in the middle of the street and the cops yelled at the taxi guy to take him So and then he had to take him and the next video is how awkward the fucking ride was because now the loses in the back I went dude fucking New York taxi drivers They stink And ride was because now the loses the back going dude fucking New York taxi drivers Those things I just started wailing on the guys like I don't like you. I don't like you You bring your own or blades into my car. I don't like you. Why?

Give me that scarf Give him the scarf for that fucking city You get the scarf back. Yes. Yes. I put it around your mouth. Yes. Yes.

Yes. That was the real point of my podcast. First of all, I'll tell you why I don't like this dick. You ready? I want to see the dick. I'm taking, first of all, I don't like the, I'll tell you what, dick make this dick has no It has you stop trying to look at my dick marks

Relax I'll show it to This dick is the same size from the front to the to the to the to the chat the whole there's no It's like a tunic can weale, can we, yeah. Just, it's a concert. My God. Can I just show them my guess, yeah, I can. Oh, God. Yeah, that's a shittake.

That's a shittake. Yeah. I thought I'd like it to mushroom. Looks like one of those guitar dancers. I think they said. Oh, she's got thumbnail. Are those his legs and knees or is that his balls? I don't know, but I've been set one before

and I didn't like it at all. Why is he showing it? That's the dip. Why is he? That's not moving back to Chicago. Wow. It looks like an atomic bomb explosion. Yeah, probably we've all seen it.

It's got a thumbprint Wow, that's a good one. Joe could not blow that dick That's a what the fuck is that? I don't know. I wasn't there when he took it Oh, that's a semi at best it looks like this microphone It's got all right all right. You're right. You Give him the fuck a little too much off on the circumcision. Jesus, alright. Give him like a whittled and down. When he gets heart-rape treatment.

When he gets heart-rape treatment. When he gets heart-rape treatment. When he gets heart-rape treatment. He's like, yeah. There's not enough skin. He bleeds. Ah, of course he does. It's not in Spanish.

Let's get a course. What else do I do? I'm a fester. It's not in Spanish. They can't afford to. It's not in Spanish. They can't afford to. It's not in Spanish. They can't afford to. It's not in Spanish. They can't afford to. It's not in Spanish.

They can't afford to. It's not in Spanish. They can't afford to. It's not in Spanish. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to.

They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. They can't afford to. he's not listening I said they can't afford podcasts Give him that goddamn fucking towel

Give it to me that was a good I'm gonna take it from him for recovery I give him points for that What are you all got? All right listen man, we get our new sponsors sponsors I just want to run it through What was he's trying to do a Steven Tyler dream I actually thought that was her I'm looking at Kelly She went over that way and I thought she would just she's she's She's baby mouth list Bobby lit up cuz it's pretty funny actually and he's not all right Give me a double knock Ty a fisherman's not, all right, that's all right. Give me a favor. I just double knocked it. Ty, Ty, a fisherman's not in that fucking thing.

Right now, we're gonna take a quick break, so everybody can pee, and Joe can grab another beer, and Kelly, and we're gonna go in the back room and do a little fucking glory hole, baby. Yeah! What's up, Kelly's here. Yeah! I don't know about that. I'm quite tired already.

We get a new sponsor to show. You guys want to help support the show. You guys already do by listening. You guys, but here's another way. Amazon.com. You guys buy stuff off Amazon. You buy it from us now. Go to our website.

First fairy mafia. So you're like, Amazon, well guess what? Now you go through us. I know. you buy it from us now. Go to our website. It's very mafia also. You like Amazon? Well guess what? Now you go through us. I know. I'm winging this one. Here's a deal. You want to support the show.

Go to our website, ryecast.com slash Robert Kelly, and hit the Amazon button. All the stuff we talk about on Tech Talk, you can get on Amazon. If you're going to buy something on Amazon, you can support our show by just buying it from our page. Go to ridecast.com, slash Robert Kelly Live,

and hit the Amazon button, and purchase your items from there. It will support our show. We make a little, a little kizash off of it, and that makes us look good. Makes us fuckin' look popular, kid. And then we get to buy all kinds of stuff for the studio, and all that.

And also, GameFly.com, which Dan is very excited about. Yeah, you get, especially with the free trial for all fans of the podcast. That's right. It was a 2-2 DVD. You get a 2-game 15-day trial. Did you read what they- I don't know. We get GameFly Joe, just as one of the new sponsors on the show.

And you right now, if you sign up, if you go to Gamefly.com, Y-S-Y-K-W-D, you can sign up through there, you get a free trial. I think it's 15 days, you get two games. And the great thing about Gamefly if you're a gamer You know, it's look I've had the fucking game. I've had a thousand dollars worth of video games that I didn't play anymore And I wind up going back to fucking games stop returning them blah blah damn with all that horse shit Fuck it. You don't have to buy him anymore if you're gonna buy him You want to make sure they're good first make sure you like him

How many games have I got and I bought I spent 60 dollars on and it sucked Man, it's the Netflix of video netflix of video games you can actually try out the game before you buy or truck Jesus Are you fucking dying over there? It's that fucking chickeny game me that barbecue is burning my present There was a fucking hell how could you there was a plant from the truth? Yeah, it's just I I have my burn right now, because that's all your Dictority dates. Bobby come over here, do this fucking day from the over the fucking I co-occal kid. Anyway, hmm. We, yeah, Netflix.com go to, I mean,

things like, you put Netflix in my head. It's a comparing it. All right. Here's two ways you can support the show. Go to robberc-ryacast.com slash robbercally. And by all your Amazon stuff from our page, we'd really appreciate it. I'm going to do it. You guys should do it.

And then go to gamefly.com slash ykwd and sign up for your free trial. It's awesome. I use it. Dan Soda uses it. Kelly doesn't but she will If someday she can afford a fucking gaming system. So anyways, that's two new sponsors of the show What are you laughing at? Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing?

I'm just laughing at the whole situation. What's the situation? I'm trying to get through the fucking read of the sponsor to show. We have a legitimate sponsor. I know, that's why I'm laughing. No more beer for you. For legitimate moment, you're laughing, you're lit up.

I'm not laughing. I'm not laughing. So you're just drifting, just staring at you. No. And it's just hilarious. And it's just hilarious. It's just the bunch of the funniest people I know and Kelly just sitting here. And it's very kind of lovely. It's just the bunch of the funniest people I know and Kelly just sitting here.

And it's fucking hilarious. It's a wonderful, hilarious situation. That's a little bit. That's a little less. He is. He's on fire. We're free. Yeah.

Joe does get funnier the more beers he has. Yeah. It's a burden. It's a burden. How about that? I did the first three with no beers yet. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Awesome. Look at it. Do that. What? What? We have to say she was sitting. There was just like a little piece of skin between her armpit and her belly. We should tell the audience.

She had an old skin but it's stretchy. What size... Take even that look. You have to be a fuck. What size tit were you before you lost all the way Dan? Oh, Dan. What was Tais was I? You know Dan you get big dude. I'm not getting big. You get a little big

Small again. No, you get you look you look yeah, don't do that Don't do that you look like a wrestler back in the 40s. I do I really have I have 1920s prize finder on Yeah, buddy back when they used to curl radiators. Yeah, like I'm strong, but clearly only my back and shoulders. Hey, you want to have a fight? Yeah, when they did chin ups and pushups. You look pretty rough at that spa, I got to say.

Go fuck yourself. Remember that? Yeah. Oh, you went to a spa? What kind of gay thing was this? We went to a steam room. Sometimes we have a romantic weekend. You did it.

Wait a minute, you did a steam room? Yeah, it was fun. It was. What do you mean you did a steam room? He was, oh, he's not comedy. No, comics and Foxwoods, they have a spa. And we got, and you do comedy there? No. I'm just picturing you fucking all douchebags doing a show in a steam room over in the East Village. Hey, give it up for the next guy. He's called monster Boys. Ooh. Yeah, you got it from the Contra Prince Boys. Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Mmm.

I'm sweating here. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Did he just come sweating in here and then pull his collar? Take that. That's for you.

All right. Finally. That's the first time he's got it. Good for you, Mark. You're bombing. Thanks, Mom. You know what? The line didn't do it is that you pulled your collar. The physical act.

Yeah. I don't like pantomime in on this fucking podcast. How many times do I gotta say it? Anyways. I brought a flower that squirts, too. He just squeezed this dick. He was really hot. It tied that up, buddy.

Joe laughing while you were reading the sponsors just made me laugh because I just look over and he's doing the last silent. How you liking face? I was trying to be, hey, but first of all, any situation where you have to be, we're supposed to be quiet is apparently funny. Funerals, I've laughed at every funeral ever. Just look at my dead grandfather and everyone's sad and crying and he's a dead person you're looking at.

It's hilarious. It's hilarious. and so then seeing you normally be really really seeing me reading a thing you're reading and then you're sitting there like a what you just look dumb and it's like hilarious people forced to be quiet so another hilarious person can read something serious hilarious situation yeah it's called having no respect, buddy Oh hilarious, but you call me hilarious. He really is an instigate. Here's the thing he called me hilarious That was for Norman only Can you almost did it? That's why I was

Was that Woody Woodpecker? It's from Seinfeld. Oh, I don't like that. What do you know? But he called me hilarious twice which means it didn't mean it one time you mean it twice I don't like that. What do you want? I don't like that. But he called me hilarious twice, which means he didn't mean it. One time you mean it twice, you don't mean it. No, that's not true. That is true. That's in the book. All right. Didn't you read the book?

You didn't read the cheat yet? All right. Hey, whoa, we're not announcing that. Sorry. Sorry. Don't be easy there, Mako. I know you're fishing to belong, but chill out. Once you mean it twice, you don't mean it.

Yeah, I think you're great. I think you're great I think that's just I should have gone to I knew son or laugh son or laughing retort I knew you're just gonna be like I'll fuck you I like you'll back. Hang on. No, no, no, don't untie that. I'm still mad at you for your fucking little call of pinch So Kelly see here's the thing he just said something to you the response back what are you doing Joe? I just looked over and you were smelling Kelly's shoulder. What's wrong with you? What's in the beer? How many beers have you had?

Two. He's got a Boston two which is eight. That was a good one. Yeah. I would. You need someone to bomb. You can't just get rid of it from a good Joe. I'm a real estate. That was a good one. Yeah, I would eat. You need someone to bomb. You can't just get rid of it from a good joke. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. He's on from now on we know some meat Everyone else in their car deal we came with the alcoholic lunchables It was great. I love the thanks. Can you get the Vegemite out of the fridge? Please we're gonna try this what? We're gonna try this I'm not here's here's squeeze bottle hang on here's my my manager right here. Let's uh my my manager on the phone manager that's a manager hello

yeah you're on the yk wd podcast uh... who is this i heard what you said i know you know what jim what's up man this is my manager jim server call what's up uh... nothing what's going on with you? No, we're doing the show right now. We're just about to try some Vegemite. Yeah. Oh, that's actually.

Yeah, and Joe list is... I hear that. Joe list is fucking drunk. And he's smelling Kelly's shoulder. The industry hates me. Take it easy. What do you got, Jim? What's going on?

You got anything? I got a stuff. You're fine. The industry hates me. What do you got, Jim? What's going on? You got anything? I got a truck. I'm about to know. No, you can't do it tomorrow morning. I'll call you when I'm done with this. Okay. Get away from that. All right, by Jim. Hey, did you like that video I sent you?

That video was very creepy and made me feel uncomfortable. I said them a video of me getting my ass waxed. Right. Well apparently it was the wrong decision. I'm sorry Jim. What's it going to talk about it and have a test with what I'm calling? Really? What are you firing me? They picked up the show. What's wrong with you is a client because of the video? Disgusting I think I'm gonna kill you

You you get to keep 15% of the ass hair. All right I saved the I saved the ass there. I made into a art. I made into a painting video Thank you very much. I'll talk to you later. All right. Goodbye Hello Hello I'll talk to you later. All right, goodbye. Hello Hello Hello Hey Molly you're on the YKWD podcast. This is Molly. She works in a possible to it my management. What's up? Nothing much. How are you? I'm good

Great much I'm good great how are you guys really shut down I'm glad I'm the talent the roast sucks what's he say Joe list just says the roast that was norm is no already that was Joe list he already no the rose already has a complex about I listen here's a deal what's up mall you good I'm good I just want to just schedule something for you all right I'll Ok, Listen, ¿qué es el tema? ¿Qué es, Mali? ¿Qué es? Me estoy bien, yo quiero dar un遍 a tu. Ok, me voy a llamar a tu vez un poco, ¿sabes? ¿Estás bien? ¿Estás bien? ¿Estás bien? ¿Estás bien? ¿Estás bien?

Sí. Ok, Mali, te voy a hablar a tu lado, ¿estás bien? ¿Estás bien? Ok, gracias a todos. ¡Vamos todos! ¡Hola, Mali! ¡Hola, Mali! ¡Hola, Mali!

¡Hola, Mali! ¡Ven y vive la emoción de la Navidad con Isema Madrid! Malinche, Guá, Juvenalia, Círclarsica, oro viejo, Christmas by Starlight, Bresch y muchos más para disfrutar con familia y amigos, la Navidad cobra vida con Isema Madrid. Entre Isema.es y compra tu entrada. Isema Madrid, siente la inspiración She does, she does, she does facials and waxes women. And she never really does anything for me. She never gives me facials.

She never spots, she works at spots. But she never does shit for me spot wise. But every once in a while, like this last couple of weeks, I'm very stressful for me. I had a lot on my plate. We were running from seven in the morning until fucking 12 at night every day nonstop.

And last night she goes, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna wax your stuff. And I was like, you want to wax my ass? She's like, yeah, so she waxed my ass. And she did my asshole. Well, I mean, doesn't it hurt? Well, she waxed everything. Are you liking? So your tape, your, your, your, your baby back. Well, I mean doesn't it hurt? Well, she waxed everything. He like Yeah, so this is the thing my my cheeks

They don't have a lot of hair on my ass, but there is hair and I don't like it because you know It's just awful and she waxed my ass crack And I just remember have you seen my asshole mark? Judging by the rem you must just look like two dinner rolls down there. The actual asshole? Well the two cheeks and you need the hair it it humans the upper bit. Really? If you have hair on your ass? I got a ton. Really?

Oh yeah. Can I see it? Yeah, let's see. Come on. Let me see it. I'll show you my asshole. Will you? The inner asshole. Well, what can we do after?

No, why would I want to look at my gay? You spent time in that. Sorry. Anyways, so, yeah, I have video and I said that, I don't know why I would just send that to my manager. I said to him and he literally did not respond to me. Like, you know when you send somebody a tag store video you like, you expect to fuck you, that's stupid.

No, I felt weird about it. You know, yeah, it's just awkward. And then I had to like text them, did you get it? And he was like, yeah, it's, and then he wrote something like fucked up thing. And that was, and then, oh, Just email the tic-a. Yeah, I'm fucked. I'm fucked. Adult Swim will pick that up. Adult Swim. Let me see if it's here. Let me see. Hey, you ready? You want to you want to hear it? You want to hear it? Ready? We'll hear it. We'll just hear it. We'll hear it for now. Ready? And then you can see it Kelly.

I can show it to you. I can do both. This is the worst part two since Beethoven's second. Ready? Oh, wait, I'm sorry. that's me getting fucked in the ass. That's the wrong video. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, okay. Are we done? Are we done? Hey, you want to see it? No, I don't want to see it.

That scream was like Lucas Steller. Just going to be fat. No, that's great. Anyways, all right, I brought this fucking podcast to a screeching halt with my phone I don't wanna see it. That scream was like Lucas Deller. It's just gonna be fat. No, this is great. Anyways, alright, I brought this fucking podcast to a screeching halt with my phone tricks. The fuck did I do? Like we blew a 20 point lead in the second half here.

We were on fire at the beginning. I really, I was like, fast-duking, okay? Oh! What the hell was the game? Yeah, it's like fastuke That's what they do to me You should Everyone I'm loud Joe slowly getting in all right. Well, I got it. I love I love I love Joe's little fucking He has drawing eyes You know when you made little roaring yeah, just a little round black eyes Certain words really make me like body say audience audience. No, say how you know is it an audience? You say audience audience you say like Jimmy Vomor from South Park. Wow, what a great audience. I say that

But you were talking we had Norton on you're like yeah, but then the audience and then you know you also got the audience I said that a bunch of times and I just kept thinking of Jimmy with crutches on South Auckland Wow what a great audience Mother fucker you are a mother fucker I'm glad that you I said that you never brought it up Dan does actually fuck mothers isn't that true? Mm-hmm you fucked a mother Yeah You're a fucking married never fucking married chick. Oh I have a great story

Go ahead Oh my god, no, this is in Boston years ago about four or five years ago. Oh, no, no, it's way longer than that I hope at the end of the story it's fucking you getting this bandana go so no, no, no I'm so I'm before you get into the story Can you please just try a little bite of that Vegemite? No way, I'm lucky. Please. I don't love the truth Please, all right try please. It's actually good for you man. It's really good stuff put on your finger There we go. You're getting this on video, right?

They put this on butter with crackers. Go ahead. Just take it take it take it take it take it Is it bad Try it. It's good. It's good. This is what down. No that no no this Dan. They eat this all the time in fucking Australia You if you have some choices Shit I'd rather it is Let me try something oh fucking disgusting Let me try Fucking discuss it terrible. What is it?

It's a man Joe you have to try it. I've all throw up this is doesn't matter get the barrel Where's the barrel? No, I'll throw up. You all throw up. There's a barrel right over there Look at the back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just a little bit just a tiny Just a dot just a dot just a little bit go just do it. Let me see go go Don't think it're throwing your shirt Give him a napkin let me see now you can eat that right out of the fucking bottle. Oh my god Look look look look this fuck that's why she can suck dick to the cows come on This garbage. Oh my god fucking the aftertaste. Yeah, it's brutal

Oh, fucking the aftertaste. Yeah, it's brutal. I'm not good with it. I'll straight up. I'm gonna fucking. You can sip a beer. Oh, yeah. Oh my god, this should be a fucking drinking game right now. Every time you miss you, you have to take a sip of beer.

You have to guzzle a beer and eat some of this shit. Oh, I can't do that. You have to have it with toast with butter and vegetable. That's like, whoa. Lots of butter. Why would toast and butter make this better? It's just the best way to be the morning. And could you serve it in a more unappeasing way? Yeah, try it way. No, it's not like a job. It's like fucking bathroom cocking. Yeah

Like literally if I was like, hey guys, one of my tiles in my showers Dude, I need gorilla glue This stuff it smells like pure vitamins. Yeah, it's so fucking gross. I just feel very sentimental You shouldn't you should this is probably what you have a giant of smells like pure vitamins. Yeah. Oh, it's so fucking gross. I just feel very sentimental. You shouldn't. You should. This is probably what you have a giant of smells like. That's what happened to your asshole. I'm glad you got that scarf over on that mind.

That VEDGE might be the worst thing I've ever tasted. At PIGO Joe, here you go, Joe. Is that bandana for you? VEDGE might be the worst thing I've ever tasted. That's not really going well. Can I tell my story? Yeah, here we go. I'm sorry. I'm fucking a married girl. I've ever tasted. That's not right. That's not really going well. Can I tell my story? I'm going to go to the story. Yeah, here we go.

I'm sorry. That's fucking a married girl. I don't want to give away the ending. Here, let's present the story correctly. Will you please intro his amazing fucking a married girl story. Welcome back to JoList's Red Shoes Dice. We're going to take you back to 2003.

Bean Town. It's the winner So I did I said at the old connection like that. Yeah, I was into that. I wanted everyone to know that I did the horn It's proud of it good people like man man So it is good. He was doing the I had His broads eating veggie my like it's fucking Your teeth there I did I did I did I did set at the old connection fanguhal and then we went to the Hong Kong next door Right and San karaoke this girl was with like a business beating and it was all from karaoke had nothing to do with my set

Fill in things Wait a minute you got me you're saying you got pussy from right right at time you got You got pussy from singing karaoke. Yeah, yeah Look at I can believe that just like you say you don't get pussy just just from nothing. I've gotten No, no, I've never gotten from being gel. I've never Walking into a room. I was in a bar and I got laid. No, I don't believe it That's never have no walks in that like I just want to fuck that bird face. I've never Really lights up a dark

It's like a time He really does look like an intelligent bird. Like a house bird. Yeah, like the bird that would go, I found the rule book and it's in right here. Oh, we can beat the owls if we just... I'm sorry. I almost fell down to high school.

What? It was glasses. I don't have them then. All right, so you do carry, okay? He them then. Alright, so you do karaoke. He's my granddad, so you pass him down to me. What was his name? Thomas Jefferson? No, Joe doesn't like Black people. No, no, no.

My granddad was born in like 35. What? Yeah. You're blocking the granddad. Did you tie that band-in or a neck? I want to know. I do karaoke. I rip it. This girl.

What song? I don't want to give it away because I have a bump into you. Sometimes you do. You want to take it? Well, I know what he asks what song you're doing. Oh, go ahead. You usually do born-to-run. That's true.

You also do. He hurts so good. He nails hurts so good. He is unbelievable. What does hurt so good? John Cougars at the time. Her it's so good. He nails hurts so good. He is unbelievable. It's so good I would love I would love to see Kelly and Joe fuck one night by right just by accident just Kelly Kelly to give Kelly to give fucking just fucked up on her her fucking crack or mad whatever she's doing at the time.

I think I'm a light-spooled guest. You were really funny when you did anything and you didn't know what I was saying. Do you want to go blow it? You want to go back? Yeah, and then it fucks the shit out of Joe. It just gives him some hope. You know what I mean? Fuck this joke.

Joe fucking her. What are you fucking, man? Joe sees life like an original animation. Just, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and bowl races which is a big thing and uh... completely irresponsible it's not good yeah and so we're just getting wild and drinking and then i ended up going long story short and i've got a wild what is getting wild and we're just who's in and i'm taking my shirley and i have action yeah can you get me water

this story's dry my mouth out long story and i'm sorry thank you your fucking mother and her mother I'm trying to tell you You don't fuck to talk about Trish that way One D-D

Not yours I actually Your grandma's name is D-D Thanks for bringing that up I'm trying to tell this story for 90 minutes and everything I don't care She should be No, because she's, I mean the age

Oh yeah, I don't know Boy, I'm really hogging all the air here Yeah, I cracked that bear you all right use those teeth Why just blink on the fucking top of the bottle Joe's finally catching a heart one. I'm sorry Joe go ahead Joey I'm sorry Joe go ahead Joey Go back to a hotel and we had sex come on I go we go we go back to the hotel and

We're making out whatever and she's petit. She's a hot girl You know I take her sure and blah blah blah blah boop we start fucking and I'm fucking her and it's exciting and I'm on top and all of a sudden she's like yeah, give it to me. Yeah And starts to fall like and then you realize there's mirrors on the ceiling and she was actually watching what she was doing She saw a bottle of vegemite fucking her a bottle of vegemite fucking her. It smelled the same. So she starts just crying and I'm like, wow, what? And she goes, oh, married.

It starts crying and I'm still like kind of half. I'm like, oh yeah. Slow, buck, and I'm sorry. And then she goes, she's like bawling. She's just laying there. And she goes, you might as well finish. Oh. Oh. Did you eat? Did you eat? She's like bawling, she's just laying there. And she goes, you're mine as well, finish. No! Oh!

Did you eat, did you? So, Joey. What am I, am I not gonna tell that part? I know. I said I'll step it in. Wait, wait, no, tell us what you're doing. I was just gonna bail. You have killing that baby.

Do you have to be in a shitty fucking story room? Our story is be going on forever. Shut up. Because you've been threatening me with that telling a lot of story fucking. Yeah, for the time being. Yeah, for the time being. I'm sorry it's been going on forever First of all you did you did deserve that but not outside In the story second forever. It's because everyone else is piping in I think the about how cold I love punching it up Show is getting broken up by being talked about things I can't change about myself

Yeah, take that back If I'm not mistaken somebody asked if I did in fact finish. That was you? Okay, great. Ah! So I'm fucking her, and she goes, you might as well finish. So I do a couple more pumps, but she's bowing, so I'm like, I'm really not into you crying. It feels very rapy. It's not my scene.

So then I pulled out, and I was like, all right, and then she rolls over into the field position, and she's just like He's the fucking like whimpering but I stopped fucking it because you rolled over something in there But I got a hard cock and I'm 22 years old and right dry and I was just fucking her and so I just got on my knees and just jerked off and came I use fucking kidding She was crying and just while she was crying and You cried on a little you came on a little baby girl He knew the situation. You cried on a little, you came on a little baby girl, which is 100, 100, that's a good marriage.

Yeah, but no, I'm talking emotionally. I know, but she said I could finish, but I didn't. Yeah, but not in. I'm sorry, I was just trying to. It's okay, Jay. Oh, so anyways, okay, but then, oh, there's more to the story real quick.

I'll tell, by the way, for the record, this has been about an 80 second story that's been interrupted a bunch of times. We get it. It's like a creative Jay. Because you're of week. Yeah, let's finish the fucking. Yeah, you can you guys fuck later. Please and just tell the story Kelly was the girl. What an Alfred.

It's cocked with. You're married. So I come and then on her ass cheek on her ass cheek. And she's still crying as she's kind of crying she's crying in fetal position Now right you were so kneeling when you yeah, so then I wake up. Oh god. Oh the next morning and where in the hotel rooms with her Yes, why did you do? I love fall asleep. I'm soaking wet everything soaking wet I'm like why the fuck is everything soaking wet? Oh good. I pull the sheets down

She's still in the field position. She's pissing a second time, like projectile pissing out of a fetal thing. What? So I'm out of the bed. You pissed on me twice, yeah. What? So I get up, I dry off, I get my keys, I get my keys and wallet, and this $4 is sitting on top of her purse,

and I took the $4 for her. Damn, right. $2 for each time she pissed on me. I love this. And left. She pissed on this fucking with you and he bird. She came and people later were like,

didn't you notice the ring? And literally it was just ignorance. I was 22 years old. I didn't say, I don't even know. And you were, you woke up like in the godfathers. Exactly. Exactly. Like stailing her to.

Yeah. Stirling, stirling Hayden is a real name. A little nervous. They're exactly exactly like stailing heard Sterling Hayden is a big name As a bedwitter I gotta say it's nice to see that go the other way I've peed a lot of one night stand really yeah, oh yeah, oh Yeah, what a bad weather bed like an animal. Oh Thing about the I know it's a bit, but it's really funny the tampax. Oh, this is gonna fucking but it's really funny the tampax this is gonna fucking oh yeah yeah you're by her now and over yeah that's a good set up no it's it's awkward to be tell this thing you might bomb

at cuz I'm gonna fucking expose it right now for not being a real story the bed when you're an adult Bobby you'll like when I drink though it's when I'm like wasted no no again again you're an adult and you should that that's not an excuse I mean I I went Let's share a homeless person I went the better as a kid and I guess it trail the tacked on the booze You know like whenever I get like black God I what yeah, they know you could do for that not get blackout That'd be a good thing

What's really good for any time? Oh many a time she feels shives with you. Yeah, she weathered to it now Yeah, she looks like hey, you did it. She wakes up in a haze. She like it So no she hates it Hey now, you sure? He hates it. Yeah, yeah He's waking up in your piss. Yeah, yeah, I don't have a sleep So what do you think when the first time you saw Maxi pads? Well, and I was a kid. I thought they were for bed way. I was like I need this you know I was like eight years old. I didn't know what a period was I was like this is mine and you didn't have a penis

So I'm kidding. I did all right. I'll just throw this in between you two and one of you I'm I take it because he's he set you up you fucking said it's a good bit if you had just gone with it right away If you've been like oh yeah fucking yeah, probably a good bit in front of an audience. We're comics. Oh, no. Hey. Wow, what a great audience. I told you.

You've seen this, if you've ever heard about it. Apparently, apparently the Chinese and Japanese are getting along. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? We got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we really. I call this this bandana. It's called the microphone mustache. And stand on there. I like this a little farther. Thank you. Sam Elliott. We're through Sam Elliott in there. Thank you for punching up my shitty joke. With your shitty joke. You know, you know, harder was for dummy not to do Sam LA voice. I was really over there. Mark, he does a good one, that's here. He was about to hold back me, ho. He usually does a good one.

He usually does a good one. That was pretty good. That's close. This is way better than that. Oh. Oh. What do you want? Way more fun than Bob and Tom, by the way.

So anyway, we, uh, we, uh, what's your name again? Yeah. I know. What is it? Mark Maran. Mark Maran. I wish it was him. I wish it was him. I wish it was him. I wish it was him. I wish it was him. I wish with him The fuck this fuck has to get some in it's hot tent. We get some fucking subscribers

Whoa Was it was it stays on the mic? This is coming off before the other show I stopped in the show until this fucking microphone my Johnny tellin' all story yeah Fuckessing me longer than the roots. There you go, Joe. I'm gonna say roots. So when I say,

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, this is longer than a Kelly for Stuka set up to a joke. You added to a joke. Give a man fuck a joke. Oh, my God. This is gonna be a Kelly for Stuka set up to a joke. Give a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man fuck a man What the fuck is that? That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. She got a V here.

I could have came in or she says, keep going. You did not selfish you are. Actually, I was selfish when I'm in the keep fucking right stop. No, to do what she said would have been okay for her to face. For you to go fuck that. I'm not into this, but I'm not into you fucking you and crying and But I will jerk off on you while you cry on your side With your knees in her chest If five o'clock Phil had a photo of some crying in

Photo if five o'clock Phil had a photo of some crying in fetal position and dummy jerking off on biting his bottom lip God damn it. He put me in a divorce now Just once the whole thing out a little too much. It's just the psychology and that is so twisted that he He somehow find an he found an angle that he was comfortable and to come That's always about I'm gonna fucking blow my load. Oh, she had it and then she pissed on you twice That makes me so happy. Yeah, we got that There you go. Hey take one bandana for that two bucks of peace line. You already told twice Yeah, we're not your fucking audience I said that intentionally

All right, so check it out guys we we did this podcast The week after six months ago When it was a virgin recorded. She has yeah, right a month ago. When it was a virgin recorded this, she has, yeah, right. You're fucking, you're getting real slutty. There you are. And it's fun. I like it.

I like to eat it in some dick. You need to dick. Yeah, I don't like going through big droughts. What a slut. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Like what is your pussy the fucking Serengeti? Wow I really thought It doesn't help I don't know what the Serengeti is I boiled some nice with dumb comments And that's the end of the show I thought I was getting it for saying I boiled some last night

It's the end of the show. I thought I was getting it for saying I boiled some last night. Is that it? You brought it back up. What? What? Maybe you didn't hear it. You're gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner.

I'm gonna be the winner. You know, you know, this bit is hilarious today. You know, it's gonna suck when somebody new comes on the show and they're like, I don't get it. Why did I get a bad down? I get it. All right, I'll tie it around. Whatever.

That's really mean. Oh, fuck them. So yeah, Kelly, I'm glad that you're getting some dick. Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, all right, I'll tie it around whatever mean fuck them So yeah, Kelly I'm glad that you get some dick. Yeah, yeah, it's it's Well, who's that? Support Reacon guy he's actually black I'm kidding. Don't say like that. You're fucking New Orleans ass He's not a fucking horse braider I got the vapors Iider I got the vapors I ain't got the vapors get the vapors all right, so check this out guys. We're gonna killed oh

We I'm glad you have that bandana. We're gonna wrap we're gonna wrap this up We're gonna do a little tech talk with my friend Christian the Dominican tall fucking glass of water Yeah, yes that we have and I'm probably I'm surely gonna fucking What you gonna borrow my what you're gonna put the okay can I have my my other stuff though dude I I racist that I don't trust that one a Dominican can just forcefully grabs your phone down the right I don't like any whisper to you can I borrow this he did it with an American accent yeah he didn't do it with his accent. Yo, can I borrow your camera for a second?

No condom Kelly. No condom Kelly. I don't want to wear a condom Kelly. I don't listen. Let me, more Charlie, you don't think I made it. Let me tell you something, okay? I want to come in your fog and belly Kelly, okay? Belly Kelly.

Not happening. You ever cried during love making? You fucking let, you put it in. Yeah, you happening. You ever cried during love making? You fucking let, you put in, yeah you have. You let it first of all, you let him put it in a couple times without the condom. I guarantee you. Yeah, you did. He rubbed it up against the camera.

I was definitely some rubbing, though you know what I mean? And I had to always go, I know. He, I was not so bad into like, you know, 45 minutes later, where I'm like, yeah, yeah, it starts scratching his eyes. Well, when he showed you the sharpened toothbrush you don't know the paint roller that he struggled in from the maintenance was yeah you realize that I got a sharpened paint roller you realize his pit bull was fucking you too I'm not crying during sex have had a god cry on me though

wow you know why that's because heaps because he took the last of his coke. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I like that was so bad. Fucking Mark. It doesn't even know me grabbed my knee and squeezed it. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. You guys are good. That was pretty good Shit 200 people listening to this worldwide that are laughing All right, so listen what do you get to plug, brother? Uh, geez, I just, uh, Twitter, I guess Mark Norm at Mark Norm and go to my website,

Mark Norm and comedy.com. Mark's great on Twitter. Hey, Jinx, you owe me a blowjob. This is my wonderful, I was just an American rule. Thank you. Thank you. Norman's a great Twitter. Okay, great. Um, we got, uh, Kelly. What do you got? Uh, I just got to Twitter. Kelly, great. So, we got Kelly, what do you got? I just got Twitter, Kelly Fistica, that's it. Alright, make sure you go to, at YKWD Podcast on Twitter, and join up the fun.

If you're a fan of any of the people on the show, make sure you join the YKWD Podcast on Twitter, YKWD Podcast on Twitter. And on Facebook, that's where all the photos and all the, everything you need. All the videos we take, all the beautiful photos that five o'clock Phil takes and the videos that he's gotten better at, hopefully. If you ever turn the camera sideways again,

I will cut your fucking throat. You got a mic right there? I will, I swear to God, fucking Phil, you ever do that iPhone shit again, I will kill you what iPhone that shit We're sorry would you get those shoes by the way clown school walk a walka give me the bag Is coming back to my intentionally wait, that was an attention. I went Wasn't the walka walka was the clown shoe clowns you. Convers my fucker.

These are cool. Whoa! Get lippin'. Yeah, I want you to get that back. Okay, yeah. Wow. That's pretty fucking cool. I like the contrast of your sneakers on Noam's couch.

Oh, apparently you've never been a guest in someone's house before. Yes. All right, so Joe. No, I feel better when you get there. Joe, what do you got? Oh, so on point of that to i should uh... plug my album on i tunes so far no good yeah what is it so far no good it's available on i tunes i hate it but some people might like it

uh... and some good jokes and then uh... starting out every twos day at um... uh... crown with the fox that play triple crown in uh... mid-town my girlfriend Sarah Talmash is gonna do a show comedy show I'm gonna be a regular on but check that it's a free show. What do you do? You do stand up? Yeah, it's you guys two improv groups and like four or five comics. Yeah, yeah, anytime of course you're kidding would love to have you. I should love to have you at such a show

but triple crown every Tuesday at I forget what time and then my album is so far no good on iTunes So so far what so far no good so far no good make sure you guys pick that up support Joe list the fucking hilarious guy So what do you got? I will be at levity live with Gary Goldman Hey, I don't think I'm with you at levity. I'm with I'm with you somewhere else. I looked at it again No, I you with me, but then I'll be there with you too. When are you there? Man, this is awkward. Galman asked me to do that.

I couldn't do it. I said you should call Mark Norman and so do as the gig. Oh! I think everyone must feel uncomfortable right now. Did you request to do with Galman? No, he asked me to do it like, I just told you to do it.

So he asked you to do with Galman, but they asked me to do it with you. So you're doing it with me and Galman? Yeah. Is that bad? No, it's not bad. What a feature. So you're doing it with me and gummin'? Yeah. Is that bad? No, it's not bad. What a feature. I'm just, it's not bad you fucking sneaky cunt.

I'm not just, yeah you ain't trying to get away with something that you don't have to go away with. You look at it and you're going, I don't know. You just said, I don't know. You want to rewind this shit? No! I said, are you with me?

I don't know. Maybe I'm with, you know, are you with both of us? Yes. Okay, so there you go. This is it. All right, so July 25th through July 27th Nobody live. I'll be with I'll be opening for Gary Goldman So you just you playing the field huh you with somebody else you with another headliner No, he called really is that how well so if my wife if some guy calls my wife

It's like the bang yeah, it's okay for her to do that makes no sense and I'm glad you're mine You're fucking mine. I ain't nobody's Bobby All right, that's good no so you Gary go. I love gummin I love now you're gonna fucking you're gonna fucking kill too at this club. Yeah, we yeah I'm cutting you down to eight minutes. That's actually worse for you Dan if you cut Dan down to eight minutes, he does better if If you do make him do 25, he does worse, because he only has eight minutes of good shit. I have nine and a half. Wow, this bandana should be tightened.

All right. What was that room? Have you been there? I don't know. I've never had an amazing. It's fucking gorgeous. I love, though, I love. I mean, I'm excited to play there, too,

but I love bananas, too. I like bananas. I'm just going to try to get Kelly to MC. We had a great time in bed. Maybe all three of us will do that. Maybe me, maybe I've Joe do it this time. So Joe would Gary all the time and you wanna work with Gary. I'll have Joe work with me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh Joe, I would love to work with you. I love seeing you. I love seeing you. Yeah, we can make out. I'm gonna have a little piece too. All right, so I'm gonna Ixney the old fucking Joe Liste and Kelly

and go back to fucking U.A. I said that in code There we go. Thank God. I knew I was I really was literally talking until she's Got a counter punch Like rich Vos you know, he's gonna say okay, okay Hey five o'clock Phil. What do you got? Not gonna nothing. I mean it's all about you. Are you really anti-climbing? What's your website brother? Oh, yeah, Phil prevents you. Oh, oh

You want Bravo would you get the accent? Oh, you had a girlfriend. Oh one second. I do have something you know It's a fun thing to do in the fall take photos and black and white because the fucking contrasts really is amazing for a boat ride Thank you for minding me. I never pointed me fill. Yeah, I'm sorry Mark you can grab my knee anytime you want what is it trying to take some? I'm sorry I have a present for you guys. I don't know when this is gonna come out or what but two weeks We'll do it on here. It's gonna be great. Really? Yeah, it's buffalo chicken. It's been done Spit it out spit it out you fucking monster

See I'll do that. Oh, it's been a full of chicken. It's been done. All right. It's great. I love list Thanks buddy. All right guys. I go stealing our souls Alright, I love list. Thanks buddy. Alright guys. I'll go steal in our souls right there. What is Dominican witchery? We're gonna be great horsehair. I don't like you pull over fucking Jane Fonda hoodie you have on. Jane Fonda hoodie. You fucking cuck-cuck. You on golden pond little comfortable bitch.

Alright, alright. So, and me, you know me, Robert Kelly. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We're gonna thank all the people that donated when you know what a lot of people donated last month. Oh That's amazing. How do you know? I'm just saying donations are you? How do you know? I don't donate so the fact that other people do it's a good thing Right You keep hearing me. I'm gonna wet myself We have yeah, we have a lot of people that donated, so we're gonna thank you guys right now.

You know who you are, you guys are fucking great. Thanks for supporting the show. We're gonna be adding video, you stream channel to this podcast, very, fucking typical Spanish person. Whoa, that almost went down the wrong. Did you say, the Spanish person. Whoa, that almost went down the wrong person. Did you say, the Spanish person? I know, I almost said,

Spanish person. But thank you guys for donating, we're gonna thank you guys on the mic next week announcing your names. I know you guys love that. And make sure you support our sponsors. Again, you're gonna buy something off Amazon, buy anything, you can get anything off Amazon.

Just go to riotcast.com slash Robert Kelly. Go to our page, YKWD page on riotcast, and hit the Amazon button. And if you're gonna go to Gamefly, make sure to Gamefly.com slash YKWD, enjoy. It's a free trial. You get 15 days and two discs. That's a two, I was gonna go two, two point, 95, I suck.

A $22 and they didn't have to do the evidence. But it's a gift to them for being such a great woodie. It's a gift, you're a cunt. It's a gift to you guys. You guys support us and they give you free stuff. So that's all you have to do. You don't donate to us. You can support us by going to those two things.

We wanna thank Lafspin Live. We wanna spank. Lafbutton. Lafbut button, go runner, go runner, you know what with them, we thank them enough. YowzaFitness.com, make sure that if you're fat, go to yowzaFitness.com, get yourself a nice folding treadmill, they're beautiful, especially if you live in New York, you have limited space, these treadmills are the best. YowzaFitness.com, go to Crinchuma, check them out, and make sure you check out all the other podcasts on Riotcast. This is the actual best, the best,

and I believe this from my heart, the best podcast network out there on the internet. We have everything from Bailey J to Davey Mack, to Florentine, I mean, all the fucking shows, the Jersey jerks, the girls, the nerds all of us and this show Just have to be the best one on the fucking network boom, but seriously go check out all support all the shows We have great things in store for you guys coming out real soon. So keep your ears to the the Bandana Kelly

I Get to finish Trantran back that bandana Kelly. I wasn't done. I was a done Your horses keep your ear to the what? Keep your ear to that bandana getting tied on your microphone. Oh, yeah, it marks it Please give it back to her just give it back here for a fucking cartoon fucking bugs bunny Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah All right, here we are you ready. We're we're gonna do a little Tech talk with Bobby and friends. Oh, yeah Okay, we have a Christian is here my little tech talk buddy. You only want to. He's my tech talk twink. He's my power of autumn and tech talk. It's an honor. What do you what do you want?

Get another beer. Get another beer. You fucking drunk drunk just don't you ruin my my little dandy boy uh-oh Dan has no idea all right so here we go good for you good for you Danny good for you therapy's working I'm a good talk with Alan today yeah you should you have to have it every week too yeah well I have to start going to some meetings well I'll take you if you need to go I can't, no, enjoy a fucking case. You know, my dream in life back in the day was to have a phone.

What is that trash? I didn't know we had a trash thing up there. My dream in life was to have one device with everything, credit cards, everything. I love that it's all going there. I hate carrying a wallet. I fucking hate wallets. You know what I hate worst? Guys with big wallets.

With like, The stands of wallets? Yeah, like every fucking, yeah. Do you have one? No. I hate that shit. I'm gonna get a stand of wallets. I fucking,

why do you have a wallet, you dike? Yeah. Cause you just got to carry your WNBA ticket somehow. I've got my hockey stick in there. I got to carry it around. All right, got that bandana still on there. I don't know what the bandana means. I got here late. You will. Oh, you will.

I can't wait. Anybody who throws a stinker out there has to tie the bandana around there. So we know who fucking has lousy up the show. All right. So we know that has is lousy up the show all right so we know that has dust on it right now yeah we

you guys come on give Joe a kiss yeah fucking it you're veggies might give me kiss give me kiss come on there you go friends you're adorable we'll never do that. All right give give Christian a kiss I know he's girlfriend. She's global wouldn't do that to her. She is hot. Oh give a fill Earlier I lived here that doesn't go for an is this douchebag. So I would let's go on You can stand We've talked about this like oh, yeah, we did I don't listen to you. I am kidding Let's go on that end. It's already been there. It's already been done. You kissed in? Talk about this like a year ago.

Oh yeah, we did. I don't listen to you. I'm kidding. All right, so Christian, I got something today. I got a new iPhone case. And you have some weird fucking shit that you have on my phone. Yeah, it's called the co-gito.

What is it called? Scull it. KO-G-E-T-O, and then dot. D-O-T. It's up here. We don't say dot with a tone, okay? We didn't know the first part. I got the dot.

I don't use it again. I had a spell. Co-D-T-O? Dot. D-O-T. That dot. It's not the actual just a dot card. So what is the Co-G-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-ard. So, what is the Coke G-Joot? What is it?

Coke G-Joot. That's a Coke G-Joot. But it's a panoramic camera. So it allows you to record in 360 degrees. So yeah, that's why I was doing it. I placed it in the center, recording you guys, and a recording audio and video. And basically, what you do is you can upload it to Facebook

or Twitter or whatever, and it has this little like window, sort of like a YouTube window, but you can drag it sideways and you can look at everyone around in the video. But is it live video, can you do live video like that? Or is it not live video? It's recorded, recorded. And then you know shit Yeah, can you put some of this up for the fans to see it on the so Kelly can retweet it?

I can I'm not now, but you know later. Yeah, I can do that. Okay, great That's great, man, and so what's the benefits of that? I mean, it's just fucking cool Okay, again, your tone. I don't like it If you're gonna be my fucking tech twink, you need to be the twink. I'm a very disrespectful twink. I don't need a tech bear, or a tech sloppy bottom. I need a tech twink. Let me see it. Can I see it? Yeah. All right. Kelly, will you pass that over you fucking? I'm looking at it. It's recording right now. So I just look like a fucking... It's recording right now. So how does it know?

So it's recording 360 right now. Yeah. Wow, that's fucking weird. And can I look at the recording on here? Yeah. Okay, so I hit stop. Hit stop. Yeah.

Again, the tone. Uh, that's... S-D-O-P. That came out good. That came out really good. Wow, this is really this co-pito fucking god. Don't video looks a little scar.

All right, I'll sort it out. I'll sort it out. When? What do you think we're doing this again? Then when? When? What the fuck is wrong with the video on this? What do you?

Let me see. Dude, you've been here for fucking an hour. When are you going to sort this out? How many for like 15 minutes? Dude, when are you going gonna sort this out? How many for like 15 minutes dude? What are you gonna sort it out? What the fuck dude? You're supposed to see what the show before the show you cock sucka. I didn't sort out my case I know it's gonna work all right my tag. I know Take it off and tie it around his fucking neck look like a gang member

That was racist mark Mark. And I liked it. I liked it. All right, we're going to move on to my, while you're sorting shit out, we're going to move on to my tech talk. You know, I love fucking iPhone cases. Hey, was it a dream of yours when you were a kid that all things would be on one item? What do you mean that's scarred? I know what?

I'm not going let you take it. Stop, put that back on there, because you're absolutely right. I am just a fucking douchebag. You know, man, dude, it was a dream, dude, it was a kid. I just fucking wanted one thing. Dude, I wanted everything to be in one TV phone. It's getting there. My family and friends, you're gonna be on one device.

I am a fucking cunt. You're right. I got the broken. That, well, first of all, you have to get a new iPhone. Because that iPhone, let me. That iPhone 3, they don't make cases for that. You have rounded edges. What is that?

It actually flips open. This is an inspepel that I'll spell it for you because that's a hard name. I and C. I. P. I. O. No dot. It's incipio case. Right? Is that it? Why are you laughing? The booze talking. It's like sitting touched hugging a pillow is that a sin? Kelly is that a... Dan is that a... you what the fuck can call?

Mark read that shit what does that say? incipio incipio? okay thanks incipio incipio you're all fin- you're all fin- medical incipio that's the pride of Maldon. You went to college, read this.

Sounded out, buddy. I'm really taking a fucking hit. On my own tech talk, he's supposed to be me and the tech twink and the fucking Aussie broad and everybody just agree with me and you can't see just barreling into me. Incipio. Inse. That's I-in. Fucking five o'clock Phil. Giggle again, I'm gonna throw my fucking incipio fucking case that you had.

Alright, incipio. Now this is a wallet case. I'm a big fan of the wallet cases for the iPhones because I hate, especially when you travel. And I hate having my wallet and my phone and the fucking headphones and all this fucking bullshit everywhere in every other pocket. I love having a wallet case. I and the fucking headphones and all this fucking bullshit everywhere in every other pocket I love having a wall of case. I've been through a few of them the last one. I was spec

I don't need you help on that That's spc ck spec Which you can get it best by really good not I love to just make googly eyes at the Dominican not that spec It's this's a good podcast. It's a good episode. Every time I'm here, I really bring out a lot of the racism. I've been on fire all day. Oh, here we go.

So this is the near two. You can get this on Amazon. Again, you can go to riotio cast calm slash robber kelly go to yk w d's page on rio cast and click the amazon button this case is around thirty five bucks probably cheaper on there and it holds around this is why i love this case it holds around four different cards uh... but it's actually a case the other ones are called sliders we'll slide two of three credit cards in,

and they're exposed. And what happens with that, you rub off the edges of your license and stuff by going in and out and in and out and being having that little edge exposed. This actually covers them like a wallet. Wow, that's cool. And it's just like a little case on your phone. But this is, it holds up. I'm have a Metro card in here. I have an American Express gold company card. You'll learn what these are someday guys. I have a-

Yeah, one is it say member sense. Is it say, oh nine? It says member sense. What is it say that? On American Express. It's about the 10. Yeah, trust me, I was a waiter long enough. I know what all credit cards look like.

Yeah, you're looking at those black ones. You get those black ones. Yeah, let them see that. Yeah, go ahead, I was a waiter long enough. I know what all credit cards look like Good look him that Kelly It says Nick DiPolo Fuck kind of people I remember since oh two Yeah, I'll tell you why I have it. I'll tell you why I got an American Express because I fucked my credit up. Yeah. As a beginning little comic, I had shit credit, real bad credit. And real bad.

I was a little back then. And then I fucking, I got rid of all my credit cards, paid off my debt, and then got an AMEX. So you have to pay this off every month. So I couldn't get anything. If I couldn't afford it, I couldn't get it. I still don't have a credit card. Since then, since O2, that's 10 years.

I haven't had a credit card or applied for a credit card in 10 years. So I'd be like, those five. I've gotten, as they say, back in the 85 mint credit. Nice. So this actually iPhone case holds four. I have my bank card in here my license and my

Amax in here and a metric card will fit in there nice and snug But the cool part about this if I did you fix your thing? I don't think so can I have my phone back then because this actually works Okay, can you take that hunk of shit thing off my phone? This, this is where it works. Get it? Get it off my phone. The video looks garbled. I'm sure, and I downloaded this shit app to my phone.

All right, well, this is the cool part about this phone. This stuff, iPhone case, is that it comes with this regular fuck rubber, really cool case that you can throw on it, and you don't have to take the wallet. If you wanna just take your wallet, you can just grab this case, right? Ha ha ha ha ha! You can even do the QVC phase, you cock sucker.

These fucking knives right here! We got 17 sets left! $399, these things are flying right off the shelf. Well, here's the thing is I'm trying to fucking take up time because the fucking tech twink failed me. Oh, I'd rather talk about flight. Which I didn't know. It's off, it's off, it's off, it's off, it's off.

Alright, here we go. So, it's actually two cases in one. I like that though. Which is great. I'm thinking about buying an iPhone. If I did, I would get that case. Well, you got your little present last week. You should buy one.

So are they going to go ahead? Yeah, the hands on. You're going to lose all your messages and all your photos and that, because you're going to go to a month fine to another. No, they can transfer pictures, can't they? Yeah, if you get the cloud, if you're with the cloud, you can.

If you can get a mobile me account. All my pictures up in the air, baby. Or your email. No, but he's going to a different, he's an Android now. They're going to iPhone. Then it works together. So what's the problem? I think you can't even believe it if you don't.

You just email them all to yourself. I lost all my text messages. What do they call you? And I'll show you a fucking partypooper.com. Whoa. Oh, my God. Dot ear. Dot oles. Anyways, this phone, are you done? Are you done? Is everybody done? I thought you okay Don't all so

Anyways this phone are you done? Are you done is everybody done? I'm just trying to get through this all right this asshole came in with fucking nothing Okay, he came over the fucking Beta camera dude. This is a fucking remember fucking see three P.O Remember the fucking hologram this does why does Christians on the piano rive I'm sorry I let you guys down Great it works. I've used the before but I don't know why maybe something with your phone maybe something I'm gonna tell you what I just figured out what it is you're absolutely Just do it.

Indian. He's Dominican. He's Dominican. It marks the fans. Christian is wearing a headdress for some reason. Yeah. Listen. What?

He should get the man. Yeah. You know what Christian? Really, you're absolutely right. What I did is I upgraded to the beta version of 6.0 iOS. So I have the latest version of iOS. So that's why it's not working. This app doesn't work with this version.

So you're right, that's what it is. So at the very least look, I got these, I met the guy, the CEO of this company. Right, okay. And so I want to give this to you. This is for you He's a really good guy Come here Bobby I feel like Should I be able to come here? I want you a Bobby I want you in poppers boobs come over here

Really yeah, well here's the thing is that all I'll go Actually I'm a big fan of the fucking stupid with your fucking damn art Well, I actually Come here All right, so I shouldn't go ahead Is identical to the Boston accent and Kelly tried the Boston. It was fucking horrible. They're the same accent. How many driving list home? Somebody gonna make it

real? The NTA. Don't worry. I'll hold them up at the subway. It's not a way for the drunk episode. I'm here. I'm gonna be alright. This is not even a fire. He's only on like a four or a five right now. Tony down Kelly Jesus Christ She's sopping what over here. We're gonna about list hammer. I'm going to Boston on Thursday I'm gonna be there this week. Well, we'll see you make it back What should I expect I'm gonna do some shells out there what you expect not getting not getting directions from anybody Having to wait in line a lot of whispers behind your back. Yeah, a lot of what are you doing here? A lot of whispers behind your back. Yeah, a lot of what are you doing here? This is going to Brooklyn. All right listen. What was that a Brooklyn?

That wasn't really fighting Wait a minute. This is how bad Kelly is she went for the band-danner. It's not even on her fucking microphone She All right, so listen what's the name of this canning? Give it to go Gito dot co gito dot dot dot. So I guess this is actually cool. It works. You it doesn't Really really Listen, Dan. I want to say to you that I respect you and I respect your decisions. Corporate carmen! I respect everybody here for their choices and sometimes you make mistakes. And you have to mean-

You want to make mistakes to learn. To fuck it, to own up to it. Alright, so- Yeah, you want my phone? Yeah, yeah, what do you do? I got, please throw it. What do you mean? Do you next week for Robert Soters? You know what? But only if you care for us. All right, what are you doing? What are you doing? I'm just gonna show you what it actually does

Okay, all right, so let me show me just I know how to work a college Let's talk as last did nine commutes It's loading the video. Okay, I know how that works Okay, so basically, yeah, I've actually seen these on Gizmodo when they first came out. Okay. They are really cool. They're cool to add two videos. So like I do a lot of videos, even here, they'd be great for the videos here to put this in front on the table and take this. So why don't we do this? Why don't next week, do you have a phone, does this have to go with the iPhone 4? Does anybody have the iPhone 4? Oh,

good Phil. Thanks for speaking up now. You're fucking what you can. Can we try it with yours? Yeah, let's try it. Yeah, that was a flat tire. So wasn't that sound effect? I can't mail them all. Alright, so why don't we do this next time next week? Okay, you bring because you're gonna have to download the app again, right? Yeah, yeah, fuck all that. All right, listen bring that in next week. We're gonna actually take you you'll have you bring it in next week. Whoa yours.

Okay, okay cool. Yeah, he really does have fucking tone. What's up here? You bring DJ name to the tone. Hey, actually, I liked it, but I didn't like it. That was one of those ones to be like, do I? We have a thing bad at shit. I guess Eel is okay. I don't know. Wow. Give me that. Give me that.

Give me that. You didn't even tie it on. Kelly, you just want to wind up with this because it's gonna happen anyway. Yes. Ha ha ha. All right, you guys, that's been Tech Talk episode. Ha ha ha ha. So, Christian, you're gonna bring that in next week. Ha ha ha ha. I'm gonna have it. Yeah, I'm gonna have it. But you're gonna show us how it works next week.

Exactly, I will. All right. All right, maybe you download it now and then we'll put it up for them. Okay. Fuck next week. Just download it now. And we'll put it up, all right. Yeah, this will go up in the middle of the video,

the Kelly edits that Phil puts together. What did you do? Did you just do some fun? What was that? Can we give you an event? Phil? No, we can't give Phil the event. He's a beautiful man.

Two hands. All right, so that's it. We got to get the fuck out of here. You guys have been great. Thank you, Dan. Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Christian. Thank you, you Kelly. Thank you five o'clock Phil. Thank you Marco Thanks the bed wetter

We'll see you guys next time on tech talk with Bobby and friends And friends! You know what I did? From this box, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what I did? Really did, really, really, really. You know what I did? I'm just starting to stick it. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelas desde Madrid a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Thank you.