Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Storytellerz | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #70

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss the way some concerts end and cost money, the best burger and basque cheesecake Luis had in Spain, European vs American fat, hot men on the... beach, Luis incident at the Airport, Bobby and Max at the monster trucks, The Star-Spangled Banner, SNL, their little boy crushes, the best gun range and how dangerous is Barcelona, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital.  LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/  https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/  SPONSORS  Hims Trying to lose weight with the help of GLP-1s? Get personalized, affordable care that fits you at https://hims.com/theregz Mint Mobile Get your wireless bill to $15/month! http://MintMobile.com/regz INDACLOUDIf you’re 21 or older, get 30% OFF your first order @ IndaCloud with code REGZ at https://inda.shop/REGZ #indacloudpod BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ GLDNew customers get 40% off with code REGZ at http://GLD.com Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss the way some concerts end and cost money, the best burger and basque cheesecake Luis had in Spain, European vs American fat, hot men on the beach, Luis incident at the Airport, Bobby and Max at the monster trucks, The Star-Spangled Banner, SNL, their little boy crushes, the best gun range and how dangerous is Barcelona, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital.  LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/  https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/  SPONSORS  Hims Trying to lose weight with the help of GLP-1s? Get personalized, affordable care that fits you at https://hims.com/theregz Mint Mobile Get your wireless bill to $15/month! http://MintMobile.com/regz INDACLOUDIf you’re 21 or older, get 30% OFF your first order @ IndaCloud with code REGZ at https://inda.shop/REGZ #indacloudpod BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ GLDNew customers get 40% off with code REGZ at http://GLD.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Fill her up. You'll be loving right here. L-I-M-P. Biscuit is right here. People on the house, put your hands in the air. They're having a moment right now. We don't care. They're having a moment right now.
Starting point is 00:00:36 The Olympics gets back. They're more popular than they've ever been. I saw them. But since you saw them, they're bigger now again. Well, what happened would suck is that they're older, and at one point they brought everybody's kids, like any kids, and they brought them all on stage, and they let them sit up, which was cool.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Like, oh, that's cool. All this guys. If you have a kid, bring them, and they brought all the kids. So it was just a bunch of kids. If you got a kid, let them shit right here. But then the kids stayed too, they stayed way too long.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Twinkle, Twinkle, little star. West Borland's creeping around. You know, all the kids are like, I don't know who these people. My dad took me here. This is my friend. And then, and then they didn't even get to the last song because they had PNC and they had 11.
Starting point is 00:01:15 They just shut shit down. Really? So they couldn't even do the last song. That's got to be a very fun job to have as being the guy that shuts it all down. You see it happens? to Chappelle? Yeah, and he freaked out. Where? The Fugis were on stage. It was like
Starting point is 00:01:27 the actual Fugis all back together and then they cut the light off. Where? Tell of the story. It's a video. You can get the video. Dave Chappelle came over and started giving a speech. He's like, yo, man, you're messing up. What are you doing? Oh, sorry, you're right. I can't believe you cut off the Fughey's, man. You cut off Martin Luther King, Jr. I think that's literally what he said. I dance off, because
Starting point is 00:01:49 we usually do it, and then he'll go, I got it and take it over. I can't believe the rules apply to us. I can't. I don't like the fact the rules might apply to this situation. Then he goes, I'm going to remember this. And he points. I'm going to remember. I have started a vendetta against your family.
Starting point is 00:02:06 For the next three generations, you will be cursed. And they go, dad fuck me up. If Dave Chappelle said that to me, I'd wake up the next day. And I'd be like, dude, Dave Chappelle's mad at me. Is he, like, awesome as a person? Yes. I don't know. I heard he's got, I mean, if you talked to Jay, his.
Starting point is 00:02:22 his new best friend, he went up and hug Jay and... Oh, by the way, if you just like me, I don't care. Like, if you're a musician, if you like me, yes. I'm like that as the greatest musician of the whole time. That's what happened with Jay and the guy from Blues Traveller. He's trying to shove Blue's Traveler. He's trying to shove Blue's Traveler.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Same here. Well, first off, don't act like the album Four wasn't a bang. Farrhead, everything on it. At hook. It had, dude. Run around. Sagalow. Mountains win again.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Dude, that happened to me with Sideneck. That sounds made up. That sounds like a good person. You don't know side neck? No. Are you shit me? That motherfuckering side of the neck. Side neck.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Let's watch this. You're saying it like it's Wu-Tang. Top of the head, side of the neck. You've never heard of the nose. You've never heard a sloppy poppy. Watch this. Bring up side neck for us very quick. Side neck is like him and JF's right.
Starting point is 00:03:12 We can't play copyrighted music. We can't. It's on Instagram. That's our legal department. Bring it up. Side neck. Damn side neck. Let me go up to his followers.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Oh, I do know this guy. Go up to his followers. I have been seeing him on the internet. Hang on a second. Go up to his fucking followers. How many times do I got to say it? It's, uh... Fuck man.
Starting point is 00:03:33 I'll go down, scroll down. I'll tell you which one to click. Scroll down. Is this your, is this you soft launching a way to tell us this is your family member? Click, go back up. Scroll up. Stop scrolling. Just scroll down a little bit.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Go up, up, up, up. Who's doing this? Who's scrolling right? There's a lot of people who are going. All right, Paco, stop being passive aggressive at you scroll. Go back up to the top. I'll go to the one on the left with the two chicks right there this is sideneck dude oh my god look at that chick's teeth are unreal literally you know how we got like that
Starting point is 00:04:07 it looks like if Gary Owen was in an accident Jay would go to go to the video actually dude it's so funny all his his songs called side neck go to another video don't play the same Are we doing a bombfire bit right now? No, he actually... This was completely done on bonfire. We're just repeating a whole thing they did on bonfire. Hey, hey, what are you guys doing on my property? And who the fuck are you?
Starting point is 00:04:32 That's it. That's it. I love this guy. It looks like they took like a corpse and they used AI to make it rap. It looks like they tattooed the guy when the alien is in Vincent Donofrio and men in black. that up? Him and Jay talked. He became really good friends.
Starting point is 00:04:55 He became really good friends. Well, you know, Jay, as he gets really quick, like he said, as soon as somebody likes him, he's like, dude, yeah, come down. Jay will pretend that side neck is great. Also, you know that, I don't know what happened to him, but you know he's unhealthy. Whenever people have these little bags attached to their arm, I don't know exactly know what is, but that's medicine all day every day. That's the doctor that goes, hey, I'm going to have to put this on you the whole time.
Starting point is 00:05:13 You're going to have to have a bag for life. I can't have you out of eyesight without medicine on you? Can I ask you, but you need medicine being regularly injected into your body 24 hours. Hey, I got to set up Medicine City on your shoulder. I want to ask you a question. Tell me what you think happened to him. Just everybody take a guess what you think has to. He was shot the stairs? A bunch. Nope. Gang. Fell off, fell down the stairs. He got beat by another gang, rival gang. No. Pipes. He hit a moose. He hit a moose.
Starting point is 00:05:40 And the moose went into the car. And at the last time, it went up, dude. And then the moose at the the last second, kicked him in the head. No. Yo. Really? Yeah, crazy. It should be called Moose Kick.
Starting point is 00:05:57 That's such a better name. Moose kicks is a better name. I own all moose, everything. Moose kick, moose punch. I have the moose dinners. I have the moose dine. You got to try Bobby's brand new moose punch. Moose fun.
Starting point is 00:06:08 It's delicious. I got new moose tea. Dude, you know me, dude, it's moose shirts. Do you bring up Shepel's thing. Moose breakfast cereal. Musilini. Hey. Nice.
Starting point is 00:06:17 Hey now. Chappelle's fun. I mean. So where did it tell me, we don't. We don't need a video. Tell me where the Chappelle thing happened. Give me the story. We're storytellers, for God's sakes.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I only watched a brief video of it. Director Joe. I think the Fugis haven't been on stage together in forever. Ever. He waited until like 11.30 to bring them out. I mean, I don't know if you know about Lauren Hill, but she's like always late. Like four hours late to the point that people were like.
Starting point is 00:06:42 And when you say Lauren Hill, you mean people of her ilk. Well, what's the funny part about it is when you see other black people, go no no no no because she was like the other black musicians were going like no it's just like disrespectful like we oh wow like she like left us waiting and we were supposed to play a show it wasn't like it's not even black people time it's lauren hill time it's lauren hill time it's like it's notorious that she's like really hard to work with right and i think they got all the fuji's together and it was too late and they cut the fucking lights oh so it was in the uk yeah because they're famous for doing this is a famous springsteen one where springsteen's famous for playing these
Starting point is 00:07:17 marathon but they also say it like when you go do these big giant fucking fucking theater or a stadium. They tell you. They're like, no, no, we have like, we have to pay, like, millions of dollars
Starting point is 00:07:26 and fines to go above. I've seen concerts where literally, they've been like, hey, we're going to do one more song. It's going to cost us $10,000 because we're going to go, but some places are so strict, they go, you hit that curfew,
Starting point is 00:07:37 the lights are off. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's what they, the Springsteen show in, um, High Park, because he's famous for going,
Starting point is 00:07:44 I'll pay the money back. I'm the guy. I'm a working class guy. One of my favorite Colin jokes is when he goes. Yeah, yeah. He's a phony. He goes, yeah, now there's a steel worker missing a thumb because he wanted to do a three-hour version of Rosalita. He goes, oh, yeah, you're a real working guy doing a four-hour concert on a Tuesday.
Starting point is 00:08:01 That's what are my favorite things? And now are guys, yeah. So in London, he's doing high park, outdoors in high park. And they're like, this neighborhood, they're not fucking right. You can't do the thing. And he was like, all right, well, okay. And he's playing twisted shut and they just turned off the fucking room. He goes, oh, well, I'm Bruce Springsteen.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Suck my fucking dick. Thank God you're here. We all just throw it a shitty... I thought that was Steve Austin, to be honest with you. Well, also, I forgot how to do my springsteen because it's been a while. It was... When I'm down and out, there's my springsteen. He goes, hey, uh, hey, hot park, don't be gays about this.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Imagine Steve Austin came out and we saw it on a high... I don't give a damn if you're talking about it. Bruce Springsteen. He goes, how are you there and I'm here? No. How are you there and I'm here? But if you... But if you...
Starting point is 00:08:43 But if I'm... But you... So he's in Hyde Park. My cans don't work. Well, the next night, you know, Springsteen, he's a wonderful guy, got a great sense of humor. So they turn the lights and sound off of them. They're like, you can't do that here. We don't do that.
Starting point is 00:08:55 We don't fuck around. So the next night he was in Dublin, and he came out and went, wow, and he picked up the song halfway through where he was before, which is fun. They go, I don't understand your bit. A lot of people. We weren't in fucking New Jersey. What is this? A lot of people saying he was doubling down that night. It's right there.
Starting point is 00:09:14 And thank you. Because honestly, you were saving me with my bad Irish. Oh! Nobody like that. My cans don't work. That's proof his mouth is like his butthole. It's very dry and tight. You guys are going to yell at me about my cans, but they're in and out.
Starting point is 00:09:29 They pop up and they put them in another thing. We have 14 producers on this show. Yeah. That's true. Ask one of these fucking lazy producers to fix it. That's fucking crazy. Sorry, I was three hours late. Do you guys check the cans before or just the mics?
Starting point is 00:09:43 They were. The producers pissed me off. I'm on Bruce Springsteen time. They did that. We did comedy. We did Story Wars at the Comedy Store And they have like a hard out at like 2 a.m. They can't serve alcohol anymore
Starting point is 00:09:54 So we're we all drinks on the table They come out and they start removing our drinks from the table during the show Snap that's sick It was crazy We started an hour We started at 1 a.m. Because yeah it was because Shack Burton Shack had to fucking go over on their show
Starting point is 00:10:11 How welcome you could never put on a shirt And he goes Is Shack doing crowdwork? How big are you? you. Hey, you don't always have to do the machinery said. Oh, Burt and Shack. I think there's a man named Burton Shack. Burt and Shack. You don't
Starting point is 00:10:26 know Burton Shack? I don't know. Well, now I'm so out of the loop when people say, you can say anything. I'm like, oh, fuck, I got to look this guy. John Burton, Jack, yeah. He's hilarious, dude. Do you do a Burt? Do you do a Burt? No. I don't do a Burt. I only do Shack. Only half of it. Only peanut butter, not the jelly. So, Springsteen. Oh, that was the whole... I finished the story. Yeah, Dublin. He buttoned it up with
Starting point is 00:10:47 Dublin. We're storytell. But Chappelle. Our stories are so good that we don't know when they end. I thought it ended up. He's just not paying attention. You freaking out about your fucking headphones and me making a dumb dumb. And you farted in the microphone.
Starting point is 00:11:01 You lost your mind. You're spires. I do like the fart, though. Don't listen to him. Fart is good. Also, last week, everyone started shouting at me about my fucking cans. So this week, the cans weren't working. I said, hey, my cans aren't working.
Starting point is 00:11:14 No freak out. You fixed it. All fixed. I got a topic. Go ahead. Today is my nine-year wedding anniversary. No one cares. Let's talk about our great...
Starting point is 00:11:26 She let you come here. She never lets me come. Folks, let's talk about our great memories of the wedding. Topic. I mean, I have no memories of your wedding. I brought Kim. Yeah, you guys both had exes there. Comedians.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Both lady... Well, mine wasn't a comedian when it started. But it wasn't really your wedding. already got married. It was your, it was an, it was a, it was a wedding. Yeah, but you, the marriage wasn't real. You already were married. No, just your performance wasn't real. Whoa. I thought Bobby did a fint. Bobby was the high. It was great. The food. The food was the high. The food was the food. We all, we discussed it's on the show. We all agreed that the food is stuck in time. I just say something. I don't even remember the food. I've changed my opinion. It was food. Bobby knows when there's, I've changed my opinion. Oh, that Bobby really knew if there was. Bobby. I tell you had the best food ever at a wedding, Lenny Marcus. he did buddy he had a great and he took me this how fat i was he goes bobby i'd like you to come to the tasting he took me to the tasting at the event to try all the food that they they saw you walking up there like fuck she'd bring a picky eater to the tasting you would have fucking crushed anything buddy it was because of me the food was fucking awesome dude can you put that on that no we can't
Starting point is 00:12:39 you can't put that on that no that's not that on that is so much more funnier than actually describing the two foods. You can't put cheesecake on a hamburger. Dude, that would be my restaurant. If I ever wanted that on that. You just come in, it's everything, and you go pat on that, pancakes with hamburgers.
Starting point is 00:12:57 I mean, you said cheesecake and hamburger, by the way, I will say, side topic, because I just come back from Spain. Best cheeseburger I've had in my entire life. Bardezzi in San Sebastian. Nate Bardessi? I'm going to tell you right now, I'll grill it. I grill it right.
Starting point is 00:13:12 I mean, we got three ingredients. We got meat. We got cheese. We got a brioche. bone. And no bad words. No bad word to be said. Dude, I shit you not. I ate this burger and I got emotional when I was done. Are you shitting us
Starting point is 00:13:24 not? I shit you not. That's because the jet lag, you asshole. No, I got a... You're on Molly. No, he's just got emotional because he hasn't had fucking bread in three weeks. Got giant people as he's getting emotional. No, I had nothing about bread while I was there. And I got literally like I was on Molly. I fucking
Starting point is 00:13:40 it was like my, it was like the serotonin and myself, I felt that like my spine opening up and I was like this is the best thing I've ever fucking eaten. Did you slam it down? Who bought this burger? Lewis is a fucking hippie. Who took this bite?
Starting point is 00:13:53 It was, it was fucking. Louis is just a fat Puerto Rican inside. Dude, it was, I mean, what was so good about it? It's three, the meat, like they, they, they, they're, they're whole thing. Well, they have real meat there. They spent this.
Starting point is 00:14:03 I don't know if you go to go to other countries, you taste meat without steroids. You go, oh yeah. This is delicious. They, uh, they spent a year developing this meat recipe with a specific like, like body brain. Did you read that off the wall? Did you actually talk to that?
Starting point is 00:14:15 No, I, I, I talked to the guy, and I also did the research. We did a whole food tour. The whole vacation was just walking around eating food. Wow. So, Madrid? No, this was San Sebastian and Barcelona. It's called Bartholona, please.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Buffalo. So you, so the burger was just good because the meat was like, first of all, pull up the actual burger. You'll see the pictures of it. It's like, it looks raw almost. They barely cook it. It's fucking very, very, very, like, rare. What about the restaurant? A-R-D-E-S-Y.
Starting point is 00:14:43 And then they use this, like, kind of cream cheese. It's not cream cheese. Like, we know it's like a creamy cheese. Like that they... Cram? No, cream cheese. Cogden? And then, uh...
Starting point is 00:14:52 That's fun. Let me use a bryosh bun. Brea... Brioch. Callin? Brioch Callan. And it's three in green... Riosch Callin?
Starting point is 00:15:04 I don't know, Brian. That's what I'm horrible. I only got the BRI and then my mind started freaking out. So... You start thinking about that burger. Dude, I mean... I mean it. It was a...
Starting point is 00:15:15 Another fucking... How many did you have while you were there? Two. Priyosh Bunsen burner? As a fan of science... As a guy that loves lab work? The immediate pound from soda, I love it.
Starting point is 00:15:29 I love it. It was... Now, let me ask you this. Please. Do you think part of your loving it, your emotion, was that you learned about... You read of it, so it's built up.
Starting point is 00:15:38 True. No. No. You just had it. You knew about this place before you went? We went... My assistant set me up with a... bunch of...
Starting point is 00:15:46 I hate all of the sense. Oh, fuck off. Nobody cares about some assistant. Well, I have a food porter. Oh, my. Well, no, my assistant went to San Sebastian and she set me up with like a bunch of itiner. I, of course, she wasn't with you.
Starting point is 00:15:58 I, of course, had to send my taste tester. Oh. My taste tester. Make sure that none of my enemies are poisoning. Oh, God. It makes it slightly better that she wasn't there. No, no, no. She helped me set up my itinerary the whole way.
Starting point is 00:16:10 So she set me up with the reservation. She was like, you got to go here, here, here. This place is, it's world famous for their burger. I'm not just saying, like, oh, it's the best burger I've ever had. Next episode. A wah, a wa. Wawa. Wawa?
Starting point is 00:16:22 Wawa burger? Oh, my God. Just eat it now. That's good. Another pound. I mean, guys, like, we got to go. We got to go. The burger, it makes my mouth water thinking about it.
Starting point is 00:16:35 What came on the side? Are those your... We got bravos potatoes, which are, like, their version of French with little, like, pyramid cubes with, like, sour cream and, like, a little... hot sauce. I like Bravo's potatoes, but I really like Bravo's Project Runway. Yes, bitch. Yes, bitch.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Bravo's potatoes. I liked it. Was that the best meal you had? I hated it. No, I was looking at the burger. I was looking at the burger. I wasn't a bad joke. Is that your assistant doing? Did you send her ahead of time to taste test it? And did take pictures like that? Go now. That burger. Send me a picture back. I just ate at Fat Rani's across the street. Also, very good. I'm not saying it's Barbados or whatever the fuck. I'm just saying it's good. I mean, this shit was like, I mean, it's fucking crazy. It was, the best burger by far.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Yeah, Patel likes it. Yeah, scanned past it. Wow. It's a, uh, yeah. That fun does, it looks like a donut. Dude, it's fucking crazy. It's literally three ingredients. They're, they pride themselves.
Starting point is 00:17:29 They're like, it's three ingredients. That's it. So if you tried to add anything, they get mad? They don't add anything. No. I can't put ketchup my burger? No. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:17:38 People would fucking, people would murder you. People would start fucking. All I want to see now is a joke out there and be like, can I put ketchup? Has got any Heinz? He doesn't even shake it first, so the water, like the liquid comes out first? He's got the diner one? Yeah, we're just fucking...
Starting point is 00:17:50 The idea that you think I don't shake ketchup is insulting. That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me. Well, I know ketchup. I don't know if that was the best meat. I mean, I went to three separate, three Michelin Star restaurants. I mean, it was like... I wish we were separate right now. Why are you guys mad that I fucking...
Starting point is 00:18:04 We went on a food eating tour. I know, just the Michelin Star and the assistant and... What's your problem? I don't know. I can't talk about the doc. I'm living with you. My life is with Lewis. I'm with Lewis eight hours a day.
Starting point is 00:18:16 What was my line? Tell me what. It's when Angelina comes out in the old black leather and you go, you dress like a Michelin tire. Very funny. This is, it's going to be epic. I know we're not allowed to talk about it. I'm not allowed to talk about it. I'm spending my whole days with Lewis.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Is it going to be ready by Skagfest? At least a cut? There's going to be a cut of it. But yeah, it's not. It won't be done. It's not going to be great. Once you cut into three parts and try to sell it at Netflix is one of these three-part documents. I will, but I got a lot of time.
Starting point is 00:18:46 I'll have Lewis doing one of those where it sits down in an empty chair. They do that net foot, docking. The talking head. And the drone. Yeah. A blurry background of lights. Are we going to talk about the incident? But yeah, I mean, the food was like the whole trip.
Starting point is 00:18:59 What's the best meal you had there? I mean, there was a place called La Sarte. We went to, we got a private room called, it's called Emilione. And they spring up above the kitchen. Are you a drug dealer? Yeah. How do you get private room? You guys, you have to pay.
Starting point is 00:19:12 I, I brought my pet panther. Now, of course, I'd pull up in my white Lamborghini. I hand the valet my gold. I had the boss boy cut his finger off from my gold AK-47. I'm wearing a chain with a little bit of gold. I've got to invent a game show. That's it. Story Wars, Kill Tony.
Starting point is 00:19:30 These guys are killing it. Yeah, we're doing good. I'm going to come up with something. So, no, but it's called Emilione. It's fucking, I mean, incredible. Did you have to dress up? Did you have a suit on? We're not a suit.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Like a button down? Button down pants, shoes. but it was above the kitchen and you got to watch like it was like a show they did senses visual so the window was smoked and then it would come unsmoked
Starting point is 00:19:52 and then the whole staff is waving at just me and Jane they brought us over here legally we're actually Mexicans back on Spain they went the wrong way but it's like super light it goes smoked and unsmoked
Starting point is 00:20:06 there's missing one guy turns out they just took my wife so what does that cost set up in the smoking room. I think it was like that was the most expensive. 29.99. No, it was 400 each to sit
Starting point is 00:20:20 in the regular restaurant. Wow. Then it was another 600 for the private room. There was another 400 for the wine pairing. What the f that's more expensive than Noma that me and Arii went to. It was like the best restaurant in the world for five years. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:20:34 Martin Barrett Tesegi. Of course. Was it? I went to Martin Baxteri actually in San Sebastian as well. That was in Barcelona. Salona, so I went to two of his restaurants. You gotta go to Marty bags. That's my guy.
Starting point is 00:20:46 I'm over there. He's fucking give me a little fucking pizza. This is wild. Yeah, it was, I mean, incredible. How fucking rich are you, dog? Yeah, dude. Huh? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:55 You're going to a private room in a Michelin Star where they... You spent $2,000. That would be my whole vacation budget. Where the kitchen has to stop and wave at you. Yeah. They go wave at them. These guys are, and I mean this all, except for Bobby, all these guys are richer than me. Okay?
Starting point is 00:21:10 And they're acting like, yet, you are definitely richer than me. Unquestion. You make more on the road than I make collectively with everything that I do. I don't own a home. I don't know. I'm rich with you inside. Bobby's house is on. Your blood is richer than ours. That's pretty good. That was good. That was good. I got stepped out a little bit, but those are, that's all right. That's like I can take it. When you eat, like, do they watch you eat? Like you said, it's like an immersive experience. You've been to a nice restaurant. Yeah. Not this kind where they fucking do the whole, I don't have. I don't have it. And this was the smoke. I've been a nice restaurants, but I don't have a smoke. Can I just say something real quick? He says he's richer than me.
Starting point is 00:21:41 I also have a wife and a kid. I live with my... If I was single bob with what I'm doing, I would be able to go to his little... I would have to pay my fucking exes. Your girlfriend has a job. All my... I have to pay all my ex's bills.
Starting point is 00:21:56 And I have a job. You still pay for all that? I pay a lot. Child support. He said all. Then he went a lot. Well, not all. I mean, I pay more than all over rent.
Starting point is 00:22:03 But then you're acting like I'm an asshole. I've never been to a kitchen where I go to a private room. Because you're in every man. You don't like that fun. Like, for me, that's an experience. that I want to like, I paid for an experience that you can literally do probably once or twice
Starting point is 00:22:15 in your life. And if you're going to go to the, you know, a country that's designed for Michelin Star eating, in San Sebastian, there are more Michelin Star restaurants per square meter than anywhere else in the world. I figured out what Michelin Star is what they actually mean. I do too. If they have one star, it means like, you want to go, it's amazing, excellent cooking.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Two stars, it's like, no, no, no, like this is like bullshit aside, like a higher level. Three stars means you should visit the country just to go to this restaurant. What about four? There is no system. Is that the highest that goes to three? There was a chef who killed himself because the pressure of keeping his three Michelin stars
Starting point is 00:22:49 he got to him so much that he actually killed himself. They made a movie about him. Stavros is in it. I'll take the bomb, Dino. Anthony Bourdain is a chef who killed himself. There's a movie and Stabros is in it. So I thought you guys would connect that. I gave it a. How about this?
Starting point is 00:23:08 By the way, side topic. Stavros Halkius is very low. likely going to be in the best picture nominee two years in a row. Well, Bologna was. Yes. Tony is? Tony's got all kinds of heat and business. They're all talking about it. It's buzzing big.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Bologna was awesome. I had some problems with it. This fucking guy. Can't enjoy a fucking movie where your head, where your friend's head gets hit in. I mean, I enjoyed it. I had some issue. What was the issue with Bologna? It was a weird fucking kind of hard. Is that a town where you could eat bugs?
Starting point is 00:23:39 No. You're an asshole. Yeah, you're a dick. You're a good. The boogie top. You're a good friend and a bad person. You know where he got him now? Lewis did the evil fucking finger.
Starting point is 00:23:51 That's what got me. I thought I was going to point guard him to go back to me eating bugs in Jamaica. It was like I had my gun to him and I was about to shoot him and then you were like, hold it right there. I was like, ah. I put the flour in it. By the way, I've been eating for eight days straight, nothing but bread, nothing but rice. I'm fucking literally thinner than I was before I left.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Oh, that's a lot. The world's going to turn on you real quick and just make you your wake up fat. I know. Now I'm like, do we need to figure something out. The carbs here are fucking crazy. It's crazy. Oh, you mean you're having Europe carbs and it hasn't hurt?
Starting point is 00:24:24 Yeah, it doesn't. They don't put anything in their food. It's just illegal. I know. It's illegal to put like a rich. By the way, this is like a controversial thing. There's going to be fans that are listening. They're going to go, dude, it's because you were fucking walking.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Walking doesn't make you lose fucking weight if you exercise regularly. Walking is fucking walking. I did a month in Europe with Louis and I did. didn't gain weight and I and I was at my fattest. Yeah. I mean, I didn't. I was too full. You hit the max.
Starting point is 00:24:48 You said, dude, I got on the scale and they said tapped out. They said, get off. I didn't gain. I didn't gain a fucking pound. A pound. Yeah. And I was nervous because I was coming back. A week later, I was having my surgery the week I got back.
Starting point is 00:25:00 And the doctor was like, you cannot. You got to bring you B and in. In Europe, I ate like a fucking, like I've never eaten. And nonstop pasta and bread. No, I did. I was in Rome and Milan. for four days. I had pasta for breakfast one morning. I fucking
Starting point is 00:25:15 ate my face off. Explain to me the science. I want to hear the fucking comedians. I don't know. I don't know the science, but it's the process. We process our carbs on a different way. It's corn syrup, corn starch, enriched flour. We fucked with everything for the profit.
Starting point is 00:25:31 They don't do, like he said, there's three ingredients. You can get pasta here with like two ingredients or three ingredients. But the pasta, if you look at our pasta is like six. ingredients. It says enriched. Enriched is poor shit. Also, like, the meat, if you go to, like, if you go to Canada and you get a steak, the steak is always better because there's no chemicals
Starting point is 00:25:51 in their beef. So, like, the way they raise their cattle, they're not trying to, it's what he said. You get a chicken over there? It's like a chicken. It's not as fat. The thing that fucked me up was when I went over to England and had chocolate for the first time. And I was like, you know, what the fuck is this? Sugar. It was shit. Yeah, they go, that's poop. A horse just walked away and you grabbed a handful of poop. I go, like, what the fuck is this? I go, this is so good. I love it.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Mine, I don't mean to be a bit of a diana, but you're eating shit. Shit, mate. You're eating shit. You're eating dung, mate. What's this? It's fucking fresh. He goes, oh, God, but I remember having that and be like, this is so good. And they're like, yeah, your chocolate is.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Because it's milk and sugar in it, which makes chocolate awesome. Yeah. And we don't put sugar in it. Yeah, the enriched flour is. is a big part of it. A lot of people call me Enrich. Can I stop? Whoa.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Bonnie Enrich. I feel like we're a little against him on that one. I know what it was? Nobody smiled. He liked it too much before we liked it. I looked away for Joe to shoot him. Well, here's the problem is you guys said Enriched before.
Starting point is 00:26:59 I thought of it a full three beats too late, and I was like, got to bring up the word enrich. Oh, my God. He really weren't trying to shoehorn that in there. Would you guys say the flower was Enrich? He literally did it and waited for applause. I'm just also not familiar with that terminology. Wow.
Starting point is 00:27:15 You're from Boston. That's like you guys's third word. Yeah, no, but it's the process food. I'm telling you right now, like, I've gone to Italy twice now, and I've gone to Spain once, and every time I come back thinner than before I left, and I eat so much. If I go to Jamaica for an hour, I just, p.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Yeah. Well, it's weird if you look at American fat people and European fat people, it's a different type. of fat they hold the weight different buddy you american fat is like 700 pounds yeah baby you don't really see a european 700 pounder yeah you can't uh the other guys aren't here jo and i wanted to know wanted to let you know about an exclusive deal that joe and i have for you yeah that's right it's mint mobile bobby and lewis want to charge you more but we talked to mint mobile we were like how about 15 bucks a month and they said are you and joe gonna tell them and i said absolutely i said
Starting point is 00:28:08 I said, you're damn right we are. Right now, all Mint plans are just $15 a month. So you can free yourself from big wireless, no gimmicks or gotchas. No gotchas. Just fast and reliable coverage on the nation's largest 5G network. And we've got to be quick because Lewis and Bobby are in the other room. But you can bring your current phone and your number over to Mint. There's no long-term contracts, no hassle.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Sign up online. You could do a three, six or 12-month plan. I got to tell you, I switched. It was so easy. I'm a big dummy. I look smart. glasses. But people that listen know that I'm not a bright guy. But I was able to
Starting point is 00:28:42 switch with a little help for my wife, but we put our heads together, we switched, no problem. All you're going to do right now to get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month, you can go to mintmobile.com slash regs. That's mintmobile.com slash regs. Cut your wireless bill to $15 bucks a month
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Starting point is 00:29:20 Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. Seamintmobile.com for details. All right, dude. This is something I was like, I don't know if I want to, and then I was like, good vibes? Let's go. Oh, yeah. Well, it's still August. So summer's not even over yet.
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Starting point is 00:30:47 Wack a few back and relax. Hey, folks, do you feel like your weight is holding you back? I guess we should have waited for Lewis and Bobby. Both of the fat ones. What are the skinny guys do in the GLP one? Weight loss by Hems makes it easy to do something. That's messed up.
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Starting point is 00:32:28 we Govey clinical study information and restrictions. Visit Hymns.com. Let's get back to the show. The beach in Barcelona I mean first of all Everyone's so hot like not just the The men Damn you came back bisexual
Starting point is 00:32:42 Dude there's there's just gay guys hot gay guys Like everyone's naked You don't gotta wear pants even So there's hot chicks just fucking sitting there with their pussy's James is like I'm gonna go on a walk to every day He'd go on an hour long walk by himself Every comes back different Comes back with stubble
Starting point is 00:32:56 He comes back just like sucked out Like dry like ugh Is dad I need water? Sucked out That's fine I need water I hit behind a row Rock. I'm dehydrated.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Sure, there's probably a lot of beautiful people. When I went to the beach in French, I just saw one. French, French, French dressing. In French dressing? Do you want French fries with that? I saw one lady on the beach in France. Topps and it was like whole coke. Oh, there's some ugly old bitches.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Yeah, yeah. I was just like, oh, shit. You know what's so funny. I saw her tits. I went, oh, fuck. If you ever look at fat people like naked, women and men at a certain fat look exactly this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:32 She was just old and wrinkly. Oh, there's a lot of, like, old people or it's like an old dude with his like dick whoa yeah that was crazy my thing I guess my thing wasn't even plugged in the whole time so um dude there was like all there's a lot of old people and like just fucking saggy jo joe who you text him what's going on over here i'm doing some research we're doing we're doing we're doing it all right he's doing the science okay do the science so uh did you get naked no but if i was with my check i would have oh yeah i've gone to a nude beach with my chick not this check but an old chick but like with her with
Starting point is 00:34:01 you would have made you want to get naked well she would have gotten naked because she's fucking gorgeous. And then I would be like, I'd be like, I'm going to be hilarious right now and I'm going to get naked with my little Peter and my fat ass. Excuse me. You are with him. What happened to you? You don't need to do that. Baby, what happened to you?
Starting point is 00:34:18 I'd be like, can you kiss her, please? Hey, you guys kiss. Now maybe me and you kiss? Now, if you're up for a... There was hot gay guys just like on the beach, like holding each other and canoodling and it didn't even bother me. Canoodling? Canoodling, dude.
Starting point is 00:34:32 If I, if I see two gay guys, kissing the United States. It's like watching like a horse starting to talk. It's because there's more preservatives. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I wanted to. I wanted to believe. What are you saying that gay guys in
Starting point is 00:34:48 America is not as hot as gay guys in Spain? No, gay guys in Spain are beautiful. They're beautiful. Dude, it's crazy. Their bodies are glistening. Like everyone looks like Mateo Lane on the beach. It's fucking crazy. With the American, Mattel Lane? Well, he's Italian. He's American. You see that photo Matteo put up of him in like a
Starting point is 00:35:04 G string. Yeah. And then he pulled his bummed. It's my screen tape. I made it a poster above my bed. And I look at him and my wife's my... I turned into an Advent calendar. There's a certain fucking part of sexy when it just doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:35:17 Holy shit, he's attractive. I saw him in Chicago. He was fucking incredible. Yeah, he's the most talented person. Yeah, it was wild. So... We did a whole episode on it. But yeah, the...
Starting point is 00:35:25 Dude, the fucking... God damn. Every day we just ate. And we went... Pinchos, it's like the tapas and San Sebastian. So you just walk around. It's just eating culture. You're walking around from, like,
Starting point is 00:35:34 place to place. Just taking food off people's plates. That's not how it works. They go. I don't speak Spanish. Louis is just bussing the tables so he can eat. Grosios. They go, who is this man?
Starting point is 00:35:46 Who is this man? Yeah. But you are Lewis. So was there any incident at all? At the airport. Yeah. Full-fledged incident. Getting there.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Getting there. Getting there. Getting there. Getting off in Barcelona. we got to the airport and I was like through I got through everything and it was time to leave.
Starting point is 00:36:08 I was like, where's the exit? I was going to get a taxi. And then I asked a guy and I'd be like, hey, do you know where the exit? He's like, oh, you must go that way and he told me to go that way
Starting point is 00:36:17 and then I go all the way that way. There's no, I get a two guy on that way and he's like, oh, no, no, you have to go that way. Then I go that way. I get to the next guy. I get to the same guy again. Yeah, go on.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Go back that way. He goes, he's coming your way. He's right right back to me. Got him right back to there. I get back to the other guy, and he's like, and then I'm doing this. I'm going, I was like, I was like, yeah, I just went back and forth. I was like, and then they do this immediate.
Starting point is 00:36:42 They're like, sir, come down. Oh, boy. You don't tell you to calm down. And you're like, I don't want to hear fucking trinkilo. I want to hear Exito. You fucking dumb Spanish asshole. Please. So he tells me to go back.
Starting point is 00:36:56 We walked around for 35 minutes. We were done. We were ready to get a taxi. At the airport. At the airport trying to leave. Are the people leaving? You couldn't follow the people with. There's one guy as well who's another guy who's, he's a Spanish guy, and he's like pouring
Starting point is 00:37:08 sweat. He's like, they're not telling me where to go. And I'm like, dude, I know. We're getting each other worked up. Kiss me. Kiss me right here. God, I love European homosexuality. James is like, dude, dad, please come on.
Starting point is 00:37:22 And I'm like, no, this is fun. I was like, how do they keep on telling us to go back and forth? Finally, where we have to go, where we have to go, it's bonkers. it's a door that says do not enter. Exit. Big X's do not enter. X's on the floor. Do not enter like you're going to go into a restricted area.
Starting point is 00:37:42 That's the enter sign. In Europe, it looks like don't enter, I guess. Did it say do not enter? No, it was red X's on the doors, red dashes on the floors. I got to put red X's. There's a bowling alley. Someone got three strikes in a row. This guy interrupted my turkey.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Three in a row. This fucking guy coming over here fucking my shit. Yeah. He goes, there's a video where the bowling pin
Starting point is 00:38:08 is JFK. And then, and then I saw, then I was at the hotel and on the last day we were at the hotel in Barcelona. Another incident.
Starting point is 00:38:17 So there wasn't this one. One of the employees comes out to me, one of the wait-suff members who's like, did I see you in the airport the other day? That's really funny. I was like,
Starting point is 00:38:24 I was like, I was like, I was like, you know, and then I tried to explain to him that there's exes on the floor. He was like,
Starting point is 00:38:29 uh, he goes, stop yelling. I'm trying to tell me, look. Tranquilo. You don't know, yeah. My yelling's different than you're yelling. It was fucking nuts.
Starting point is 00:38:37 But that was the only thing that like... It's so funny. The guy at the hotel's harm yelling. The whole town talked about Lewis. Because you're the guy. He goes, Ligeous gangs. No, the guy from yelling at the hotel.
Starting point is 00:38:47 At the airport. Airport. Yeah, but it was, if you want, Bobby, that's the thing to do with Max. It's just the food is fucking... I'm talking about a whole other way. Dude, you gotta go by a thousand dollar meal with your son.
Starting point is 00:38:59 I'm gonna do it with my dog. dog. I'm not doing that. I just have it. Just give him the burger. Mernal the burger and smoked the window. The burger was 10 euro. Like the pinchos are two, three euro.
Starting point is 00:39:13 Like the pinchos are two or three, two three bucks. The burger was 10 euro. Would you say go there instead of Rome? For food, yeah. For the whole experience. Me holding my dog. Closer. They're going to unsmoked the windows.
Starting point is 00:39:29 She's just like. I have a stupid 49% So what was the meal that was $1,000? I mean, that was like a 15 or 14-course tasting menu. They could just pull up Ilamiani tasting menu. Do they do it where you eat it and they like rub your throat? That was the best bite I had there, which was a croissant with like a gold truffle butter. And they give us a can of a Cetra caviar each.
Starting point is 00:39:56 So we just scoop some caviar onto it. You got a Starbucks croissant. They're very good. That was the best bite, I would say. I mean, then I had a lot of, like... Butter in Europe, you go. It's crazy. This is so good.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Do butter in Paris is the best... That's what... Butter in Paris is Bobby's rap song. He goes, yeah, dude, I did a feature with Sideneck called Butter in Paris. About me eating. I would just walk and then stop and get butter and bread and a, like a coffee. Dude. And just fat eat bread.
Starting point is 00:40:29 I want to make fun. You're so bad, but we did the same exact thing. So good. We just pull over and get bread and butter. Why can't we make good fucking butter? Why can't you fucking have good butter? I don't know. This is America.
Starting point is 00:40:40 You can find some good butter. Where? Type in French butter. It's not the same. It's not the same. I don't, dude, I don't know what it is. You can't get imported French butter? Ah, you are eating shit.
Starting point is 00:40:49 All right, that shit again. Mr. O'm, do you realize you are eating shit again? I go, oh, it's all in heaven. This is so there you got, yeah, Elmione is the one that I did, which is the tasting menu. I was it just you in was it just you and James we had a private you could do one where you're shared the table That's kind of I'm not gonna lie dude that's sick that it's just you and your son doing yeah in a private room That's fucking awesome looking like a business meeting and you know all the other people that were at shared tables are like
Starting point is 00:41:15 That the fuck is this guy here? Yeah no it was really I mean how much I got to ask how much did you tip Uh they don't tip really you don't I ended up tipping a decent amount as I went around but I didn't tip at these restaurants you didn't no they don't do that you don't tip there oh you don't tip in Europe they're like hey we get paid Yeah, but I still kept a bunch of cash. Here's the thing. When you go anywhere, and this is a tip, somebody asked me for like a travel tip. A tip tip tip tip. Even when you fucking go to a place
Starting point is 00:41:38 where a tipic is not part of the culture, throw a little bit of cat. It goes such a long way. When I went to that burger spot, I threw him a 10 spot. They acted like I was the fucking man. Like, when I wanted to go get another beer, they were like, you could just see
Starting point is 00:41:49 they would come right over to you because nobody's tipping them at all. And inversely, I would treat Europeans like shit when I waited on them because I knew they were going to tip you. Sometimes the Caribbean, like Aruba, they'll put the tip on it. Sure. And then you'll tip,
Starting point is 00:42:03 but they won't tell you the tips. So you got to look at the thing because you'll wind up tipping like 50 bucks. You go, ah, you're caught on to us, Eden. It's not a ruba. It's not a Dutch owned. Yeah, this was like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:42:17 I mean, everything was fucked. $490. Oh, yeah, that's just, that's not even counting the tasting menu as well. You get, what was dessert? Dessert. They give you, they give you, like, three.
Starting point is 00:42:32 They gave you. Ode to Coco. Yeah, the nectar is the, the pear, almond, miso, and yuzu. They got chocolate chip ice cream? What was the best, what was the best dessert you got? The best sweet. The basque cheesecake. What was it?
Starting point is 00:42:43 Basque cheesecake. Just look up a bass cheesecake from. They got it at Bass Pro Shop. Wow. I got it. I liked it. I liked it. Excuse me.
Starting point is 00:42:54 After we do, after we do DeBessence, do you guys have any dino chicken nuggy? Look up. up the best bass cheesecake in San Sebastian B-A-S-Q-U-E and I'm forgetting the name, Lavinia. Lavinia is a place.
Starting point is 00:43:08 Every place is like tight, like packed. It's like a tight, tight bar. What you're seeing the transformation of Lewis Gomez? I know. He's turned into Louis. He sounds like fucking. It's the best cheesecake and basque
Starting point is 00:43:18 that you're ever going to have. By the way, can I say this? And this is going to upset, Lewis. You got to see it when it gets cut, dude. This is going to, you see me when I get cut. This is going to make Lewis mad. But if either one of it, if you did.
Starting point is 00:43:29 this. You, Bobby Kelly, went on a trip and you came back and you just said, hey, look up this menu item. Look up this thing. Lois would go, you fucking homo, this sucks, bad podcasting. The fans don't want to see it. 100%. 100%. No, we think it's interesting. The difference is that I find it very interesting. I wouldn't
Starting point is 00:43:47 cry about you guys if you're bored with the topic. If you're bored with the topic, welcome to you know what, Google Image. Look at everybody. Everybody look at it. Especially you and your cars. And I just stopped. 85% of the people watch the show. Joe, real quick, Joe.
Starting point is 00:44:03 That looks pretty good. It's crazy. It looks amazing. And people that are listening, we're going to go look it up now. Producers, can we confirm that 80% are views? More than that. Really?
Starting point is 00:44:15 Yeah, these days, old school podcasts, like YKWD, lead you to skanks. It's like 50-50 audio to... I've never watched a podcast in my life. Yeah, because you're old school. You Tuesdays. Presid source probably gets 40% audio still. Yeah, we are.
Starting point is 00:44:27 still 50, we're like 50. Story Wars is 90%. This is why everyone thinks story wars is so much bigger than Legion of Skanks, but they're actually very close in terms of how big they are. Because it's obvious. We have a way larger audio audio.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Story Wars is more of a TV show. Yeah, it's like a TV show. You need the visual. But yeah, I mean, this is like, we're talking about like, we went there twice. We, I mean, it was fucking, I mean, these are like widely regarded as like world renowned, like.
Starting point is 00:44:50 But can I say, that? Were you like, oh shit? This is the best cheese kick I'm ever. I'll show you videos later on, like James trying it and being like, what the, the fuck is this? Really?
Starting point is 00:44:59 Like it was like, yeah. Like the burger and that were like two very special. We went to Noma and it was like a 28-course meal. Sure. When we left, I was, we were both like, we're hungry. Because it's little. They're not, it's not like that meal that we're used to get. You know, it's little tiny tastes.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Yeah. And it's 28 of them, but they come, you know, separated. Yeah, you had nachos and 28 bites. Yeah, by the time you're done, you're like, do you want to go get a pizza? You know what it's like? So that's such an amazing. Were you full? Was it like a good?
Starting point is 00:45:29 I was perfectly full every day. I was like, I was never overly full. I never, you know when you fucking, you're eating so much on vacation? Yes. You're farting and shitty.
Starting point is 00:45:36 Yes. Constantly like, in pain, like stomach pain? Yes. Go side lay down on the fucking bed. You say on vacation? It was never that.
Starting point is 00:45:44 I ran on the beach three days. Looking for guys. Whoa, looking for kisses. Guys. I just chased. Get back, girl. I want to see your asshole.
Starting point is 00:45:55 My son's sleeping for an hour. Show me your red X. I know that means enter. So are we done with my wedding as a top? Oh my God. Wow. We've also spoken of your wedding so many times. That's true.
Starting point is 00:46:08 That's true. All right. Pull up a slice of pizza. No, it's your anniversary. What did you want to talk about your wedding? No, I'm just joking. What did you get Sarah for your anniversary? This isn't going to be out for the next week, right?
Starting point is 00:46:19 So funny. He was in Spain going to all these places in Michelin Star. Me and Max were at the monster trucks in the middle of the woods. Fuck, yeah, I saw your Instagram story. Really? Fucking sick. Yeah. One of the most redneck things I've ever done in my life.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Like, I've never. Low-level monster trucks? Buddy, I went to a rodeo and I was like, oh, this is some redneck shit. Low-level monster trucks, I believe, is the Clu Klux Klan. Let me tell you where I got my teeth cut on that was my stepdad Nick used to take me to low-level. Low-level. No, he would take me to low-level drag races. Well, I did.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Funny cars. Dude, I used to do that, too. Funny? Funny. Yeah, like that's what they're called. They're called like funny cars. It's a funny car. It's like a drag racing.
Starting point is 00:47:02 You have the long ones and then you have the fat ones. You go to that. You go to those and that's fucking that's a low-level. My stepdad. I love those. I was drag racing on the beach in Spain. You're a jag chasing. Put on some lipstick and fucking went for it.
Starting point is 00:47:16 No, boys. Yeah, that's some low. I mean, I forgot when I used to go to the drag racing. Yeah. But low level, not the, not the high-level shit they show on TV. You're talking. at like a field. By the way, it's the same as going to low-level professional wrestling.
Starting point is 00:47:30 But low-level professional wrestling is still kind of, this was a little like, who ripped that? No, it's, of course. That was a good fart, dude. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Low-level wrestling is pretty... Yeah, like, they have no consent. They have one concessions
Starting point is 00:47:46 and, like, one guy working. Hamburger sausage, a Coke, and then beer, that's all they had. It's all kind of the same thing. We're like, it's depressing. Yeah, you're like, what is this? I'm watching you practice. Just like live your dream. Yeah, every chick has a thigh tattoo.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Yeah. And we actually got to ride in the back of one of the, they have a thing where you can, if you get the VIP back, which is 30 bucks. That's the, Ill-Millione. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. That's the VIP room. Because you can actually watch the driver smoke meth from the back of his truck.
Starting point is 00:48:17 I told Don, I go, dude, get VIP everything. Don't fuck around. She's like, all right. And I go, do you get it? She goes, yeah, it was only 30 bucks. We got a VIP parking. We just parked closer in the grass field. I love that.
Starting point is 00:48:28 And then we got VIP. We get to ride. But there was, the line was like an hour and a half long because everybody had VIP. But I didn't think I was going to like getting in the back of this monster truck. But, dude, as soon as the guy went down to dirt road and then he just started doing donuts, dude, everybody's face was just fine. That sounds fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:48:46 That was pretty fucking wild. We're going to go to, not that knockoffy, but the hot wheels. Because there's monster jam is like the top. That's grave digger. And then hot wheels, yeah. Yeah. We had the grandson of Gravedigger. Sick.
Starting point is 00:48:59 You have like the kids that are coming up. You're Dave Bigger? They have one car that's called Son of a Digger, and it makes me nervous saying it every time. We went and saw Bigfoot, which is the original. Yeah, that's the fucking, that's blue, golden real. We didn't get any of them, though. We didn't get any Bigfoot or we got like Sting. Sling of Sting.
Starting point is 00:49:20 We saw him at Sullivan Tire in Rockland, Massachusetts. He was just parked at Sullivan. Sullivan. The Bigfoot. The Bigfoot. They go, you got a fucking shit kid. So he's the first monster truck. So we go there. They had little autograph things.
Starting point is 00:49:34 And the guys in the thing. He's big and fat now. The driver. It's the same drive. So Bigfoot, like, there's this multiple drivers. So they essentially have leased out Bigfoot. Is there more than one Bigfoot truck?
Starting point is 00:49:45 Yeah. I think so. Back in the 80s, there was one. And then they just. Yeah. But when it became big, now they have a bunch. So I'm talking to the guy. And he goes, I was like, now I, and I know that Bigfoot's the first.
Starting point is 00:49:55 monster truck, but I'm being foxy. I was like, now I feel like Bigfoot is like the original monster truck. And he got real CEO. He goes, no, he is. He is the original monster truck. And I was like, oh, yeah, no, I know. And then he goes, and in 1997, Monster Jam came Colin, and he refused to sell out. And he was like really prideful, but I'm like, well, he should have because nobody under 40 has ever heard of Bigfoot. And Grave Diggers, the guy. You want to go, that was his one opportunity. Yeah, that was a big fuck up. I don't even know where you would go to see Bigfoot other than Sullivan higher. That was me not moving to LA with Nate.
Starting point is 00:50:25 Yeah. You go, oh, truckosaurus Rex didn't sell out. You never win electric. That was funny. Yeah, you go with Nate.
Starting point is 00:50:34 You'd be great right now. Oh, my God, dude. You'd be holding a Guinness Book of World Record sign with him. Taking a picture. You'd actually have hair. Oh, great. Was Nate burned up about Shane's stadium record?
Starting point is 00:50:45 Does anyone got... No, no. Nate just got the World... The Guinness record for the most tickets sold on a tour. So they're both just neck and neck. Just quietly hating each other. I was going to get. Katie has a Guinness Book of World Records,
Starting point is 00:50:56 and I was going to take a picture with it and be like... Does she have a record? Yeah, she had one. It got broke. When she had her show on it. Most Cox in one day. Oh, come on, dude. Why would you do that? I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:51:05 Come on, brother. What the fuck? Katie's sweet. Dan, Dan, take that back. You think Mateo doesn't have that record? Not too broken, Joe. Is it really Mateo or somebody else? She did a thing on her show where she, like, did a bit where she would try to break
Starting point is 00:51:20 the, like, stupidest Guinness Book of World Records things, and she did it by stacking donuts. And then someone else beat it. Bobby. I know what you're going to say. I was going to say. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. I was waiting to beat that record.
Starting point is 00:51:34 Stacking seven donuts and women is nothing. It feels so easy. I got broke. It got broke by another podcast. But I'll break it right now. Give me. No, you are. How many donuts is the world record now?
Starting point is 00:51:43 There's also like specific things you need to do. Like you can't touch it. It needs to sit for like a minute. Look at him defending his girl. You think he could eat six alt teens in a minute. Might you defend your wife. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'll take your side over my wife.
Starting point is 00:51:54 you fucking queer. Did you get married? No. I love the dance suck me in. You fuck, right, Bob? You're queer. You fucking queer. But I wanted to take a picture with her plaque, you know, and be like, for most half-sold
Starting point is 00:52:08 rooms. I got to say, though, the monster. It was fun. Hell yeah. I've never felt safer in my life. And if you're patriotic, as soon as they went to the, sing the national anthem, I'm talking the world shut down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:23 And everybody literally. found that flag. Oh, it was one of the most patriotic things even little kids. Just stop being little kids and just looked at the flag. And they went,
Starting point is 00:52:33 I hope we're giving all our money to Israel. Who here was to sing the Star Spangled banner the best? I can't. I've done it publicly. All right. All right, little missed things. Smash.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Let's see, you do the first line, then Daniel took over the second line, me third, then Bobby next. Well, you probably don't know the whole words. I know all the words. You know all the words. I know all the words. I will say I don't know.
Starting point is 00:52:54 would not. I would be with you that I would fuck up in the middle. There's a little thing where I'm like, am I, can you give me... Do you guys go bar for bar? No, bar for bar. You versus Joe. Go. Let's go. All right. Louis. She's shy. Really loves this. Oh, say, can you see?
Starting point is 00:53:13 Can I pause? That's a lot better than I was expecting. Dude, dude, dude, he sings. He's a theater. He's a fucking theater. Yeah, he's a theater. Dude, he's, you forget it. He did a musical with Jay. By the dawns her, I'm sorry. What so proudly we hailed?
Starting point is 00:53:36 God bless America. No. You don't know the fucking word. My home, sweet homo. You just know the ends. No, I know the words. No, you know. What's the next line?
Starting point is 00:53:54 No, say it again. What? Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light? What's so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming. Who's brought stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight? That's where I get stuck. Hold on. What's so true.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Now stop it. What was your line? It's hard to do every other line. Yeah. Aeroless nights. Fight. No. What the fuck was.
Starting point is 00:54:33 You're out. You already said we don't know. Don't try. I know because they're doing it good and you want to get involved. But the proudly we held. And the rocket's red glare. The bombs bursting in there. Gave proof.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wait? Oh, the land of the free. This is a big finish. And the home of the... Can we open up Gangfest with that? Yeah, we did it last year. We opened up Skang Fight and Timmy No Break sang it.
Starting point is 00:55:40 And then Yamanika did the next day. But you two should sing it this year. Yeah, do it. We can't afford you two. I liked it. It's a great joke, but these two are too dumb to even get it. No, dude. Bono.
Starting point is 00:55:51 It was great. You too. It was a great joke. Can we get another Starbucks round? I had a... And seven donuts? You had a what? I had a Bono on the beach.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Give me some more coffee. I don't even get it. A bono. A boner. Bono Bono. No, just a regular coffee, a little bit of cream. Do we want more coffee? No, just a regular coffee. Well, I don't want the same. He said, do you want the same?
Starting point is 00:56:18 No, he said, do we want more coffee? And then he said, do you want the same. Joe, I didn't hear him saying that. He did. Are you sure you didn't talk over it? Just a regular coffee, a little bit of cream, and a couple of pumps of sugar-free caramel. I'll do the same thing, but a tall. Please, Paco. Please.
Starting point is 00:56:34 And let's do plugs and let's Google image some stuff. What time is it? I don't know. Are we an hour in? We're an hour in? Yeah. Holy shit. We're crushing it, boys.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Run it back. Take me back. Don't you ask me if I'm good, you fucking loser. Huh? Dance the drink back. This fucking kid bugs me, dude. What are you on the pay no mind list? Yeah, I am.
Starting point is 00:57:02 He always has me on the fucking pay. No money. Comes to me on the road, guys. Lewis of Skanks.com. Back on the road, September 11th and 12th. I will be in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. At the comedy bar, very excited. Portland, Maine, right out.
Starting point is 00:57:13 After that, the 17th through 19th. After that, I got Belmore, New York, Rochester, New York. I'm not doing this Vancouver show. I found out it's in a fucking Irish pub. So if you guys both tickets, I'm sorry. I'm canceling that. Wait, what's the venue? Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:57:28 I know a great Vancouver venue. Yeah, well, can you book me? Can I fire my fucking team instead? Because they put me in a fucking Irish bar. Oh, what did I do? I did a bar that was fucking unbelievable. Was it this? No.
Starting point is 00:57:40 It was like the best show I've ever done in my life. Portland, Oregon, North Charleston, and more. Go to my website, Lewisofskanks.com, grab those tickets. Sign up for my mailing list. Get my bonus podcast, Lewis Journal, get inside access to all the things, Skank Fest and Gas Digital. Get those Skank Fest tickets. We're almost sold out of all access tickets.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Now we got like 50 all access tickets left. It's more all-access tickets than we've ever done in the past. So once those go, those single-day passes are going to go very, very quickly. We expect a complete sellout this year. So do not wait. Skankfest.com is the website. All of the regs will be there doing two separate. shows doing stand-up.
Starting point is 00:58:14 We got all the best podcasters and comedians in the world. And make sure you guys buy my book, knives, and spoons. Hell yeah. That's a crappy gas digital. Use the promo code regs. Get the uncensored ad-free version of the show. Joe List.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Company mothership, September 4th, and 6th. And then where else? Royal Oak, Michigan. September 10, 11, 12. One of my favorite places. That's the Comedy Castle. And then I'm doing this big show in Seabrook, New Hampshire, the Brook. September 18th. And then Toronto, we added a show. September 24th, Performing Arts
Starting point is 00:58:49 and two shows. Unfortunately, Rochester, I had to reschedule. Tampa Side Split as October 1st and 3rd. We all love that club. That's one of our favorite club. It's unbelievable. V.T. I'm going to be great. Oh, you are? Fucking awesome. That's going to be great. That's going to be great. And then Philadelphia, Helium, one of our best markets. We always do well there. So make sure you come through on that one, October 22nd, 23rd, and 24th. And check out Tom Dustin, Portrait of a comedian. It's changing lives that fucking film. So go watch it, please. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:59:19 Hey, everybody. I'm going to be in Portland, Maine at Empire Comedy Club, September 10th through the 12th. Early shows. Already sold out. All of them. No, they're not.
Starting point is 00:59:28 Late shows aren't sold out. I don't think that's true. I literally, I said this to you last time, and then I checked, and they're marketing it as all of your shows being sold out. That's crazy, because the number count that I get from the club says that I'm not sold out. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:39 But that's, you know. But don't get those things. Come see me the next week. But anyway, the point is. Hartford Funny Bone, we can both agree. You should come see me there. Not sold out. Not sold out.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Far from sold out. It's a hard club to sell out. But it's dad. In the mall? Yeah. I'm going to be there September 17th through the 19th, Hartford, Funny Bone five shows. And then I'll be in Albuquerque at a new club called Kazadas.
Starting point is 01:00:02 What? Cazetas. October 2nd and 3rd. Go get tickets for that if you live in Albuquerque in New Mexico. Did you lose your agent? Do you have my guy now? What's happening with you? I'm building a new hour.
Starting point is 01:00:12 I know. I'm fucking wrong. And then I was like, well, no. He was promoting like the Fox Theater and the fucking, you know, the Pontoo. Well, then we filmed the Netflix special and this is so I have an hour. The Pontoonsie. The Pontin Theater would actually be sick. DanSoter.com for all live dates while I'm building this hour.
Starting point is 01:00:28 I've been having a fucking great time doing it. Listen to Soter the podcast and PunchUp. Dot Live, if you want to sign up for my mailing list to know when I'm coming to your town. Dude. Robert? Hey, I'll go to punchup. Dot live slash Robert Kelly for all my dates. I'm going to be in Saratoga
Starting point is 01:00:45 On September 11th and 12th Up in New York there's a festival up there And then I'm doing one night At the New Brooklyn Impro Yeah, I've heard it's good And I've heard the same thing September 26th And then I'm going to Port Charlotte
Starting point is 01:00:59 October 2nd and 3rd To Versanis And then I'm going back to Boston October 16th and 17th To Laugh Boston And of course I'm going to be at Lake Charles I'm doing Lafayette
Starting point is 01:01:12 again. I love that guy down. Love those rooms. And then we've got Skankfest, which I'm excited about. So make sure you go to punchup. Live slash Robert Kelly. More dates are coming and being added this week, actually. And check out my podcast, YKWD, the original fucking podcast.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Yeah. On the East Coast. Lewis. Yes, sir. Built More cabaret in Vancouver. Yeah. It's a rock club. It's fucking awesome. It's like it caps at 300, but if it's 80 people, it's fucking awesome. That'd be cool. It was the best show I've ever done my life.
Starting point is 01:01:44 It's so funny, you've got to say that to us. Dude, a cap's at 80? They're good. They got a curtain. And they say they have a curtain. Oh, I'll do it. Dude. By the way,
Starting point is 01:01:51 it's the best show I've ever done in my life. I should invest in curtains. I use curtains so much. People don't realize how much that is on a venue where they go, okay, if this goes real bad, they can still curtain it off and you have a great show and you go. But the worst part is when you're back in the green room, you hear the curtain being wrong out. Oh. Can I just say the port in Baltimore is so fucking.
Starting point is 01:02:12 What a great job. Oh yeah, I'm doing that suit. You stay in the little haunted hotel? No, I stayed at the Hyatt. You're walking to- stay in the haunted hotel. No, I want to jerk off. No, you can jerk off with a ghost.
Starting point is 01:02:22 I don't like it. I don't like it. I was in the lobby. I was in the lobby and I go to the front, I go, is this place really haunted? Ladies, I went, yes, it is. Yeah. The room is not available.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Someone's in it now, but, you know, I can see if it's opening up. I was like, no, I'm good. I was in the lobby late at night, just hanging out. I was going to go get some food. And they have an automatic door that only opens when someone goes in front of it,
Starting point is 01:02:44 and the door just went, foom, fom, and I looked at her, she went, because you know what, how matter of fact they are when I was checking in that hotel, I was like, they were doing the thing, and I was like looking at the pictures on the wall, and I go, ha, this looks like the kind of place that's real haunted, and she goes,
Starting point is 01:02:59 it's very haunted. Yeah, I got to get some adult friends. Come on. Those aren't real, guys. Grow up. Jesus Christ. All right, sorry, Bobby and I have a little joie de vivre. Guadav.
Starting point is 01:03:10 He ate that in Spain. for a thousand bucks. Can we turn off the air right now? It's freezing. No. My body's so cold. It's the ghost of fucking... The air's not on.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Joe's gonna doubt this and then he's gonna become a ghost and then he's gonna hate it. And you're gonna say I'm gonna die? Well, eventually. Not for you. Don't even start a fucking reg. We've already done it. We've done it all. We've done it.
Starting point is 01:03:33 Podcasting has to come to an end. It's gone to soon. We had enough. Because I think there's ideas like story wars that are like the next evolution. of it where it becomes like a game show mixed with a podcast. You can't just have we're, look, we're grandfathered in to four guys sitting around a microphone talking.
Starting point is 01:03:50 But you can't start this now, unless you're really famous. Like, like Amy Poehler can start this podcast. But also, do you remember when all the news or the late night guys tried doing it and it bombed? Of course. They were like, no one gets you. But I think it bombed for their standard. I think they wouldn't be okay. Oh, it bombed like numbers. Really? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:07 To hide their numbers. I quote that all the time and no one else. talk about. What is it? That's Kevin Spacey doing Walter Mathau for the screen test of Star Wars on SNL. Which I still contend that that's the funny contest, contend, whatever, the funniest thing SNLs ever done was that. He goes, we were meant to
Starting point is 01:04:23 believe they were. Star Wars auditions. They walk in single file to hide their numbers. Hey, what's this picture about? And he goes, it's a movie about a wonderful space force. And he goes, I'll be in my trailer. The one that makes me laugh is Daryl Hammond is Richard Dr. Yeah, it's the greatest. He goes, I'm sorry,
Starting point is 01:04:39 who's under the, this is for C3PO? I'm sorry, who's under the mask? He goes, it's Richard Dreyfus. I was in Johns. He goes, evaporators, sir, my programming is, I don't need this. I was in John. I told you, he didn't want to wear the damn mask. I'm sorry, who's under the mask?
Starting point is 01:04:57 It's Richard Dreyfus. And Will Ferrell's the casting director. He's such a perfect straight man. It's like unbelievably funny. They're all on YouTube. And when Norm MacDonald does Bert Reynolds, does Darth Vader. And he goes, oh, Lord Vader, you are a religious.
Starting point is 01:05:11 is an archaic one. He goes, why me to go over there and choke him? He goes, no, you're going to choke him with your mind. He goes, yeah, I got a question. Got a car's a sky drive. Also, Kevin's basically this Walthermouth that was a golf club.
Starting point is 01:05:25 He's just got the whole time. We were meant to believe. That's the best SNL sketch. All right, gentlemen, let's hear a quick moment and talk about GLD. I love GLD, dude. I didn't care about jewelry at all
Starting point is 01:05:37 because I'm not a woman or a Joe list, as we call them. I've never worn a single piece of jewelry in my life. I've never seen a piece of jewelry on them. Literally. Well, now you do because you love GLD. I don't even have a wedding bag. Get that's your list trip.
Starting point is 01:05:49 No watch, no necklace, no earrings. I am a ginso. I love a necklace or a bracelet. I want a thick bracelet. I was calling you gay. Oh, I see. They should only advertise with Rich Voss only, by the way. Yeah, have him jingle, jangle into the studio.
Starting point is 01:06:04 I love it. Well, you want to get people with a following. Wow. So look, I'll tell you right now, genuinely incredible stuff. Real Gold. in every single piece. You can feel the quality and the difference. It really is great. I had my Cuban links. I was in Spain with my son the whole week rocking my Cuban links. The amount of looks
Starting point is 01:06:19 that I was getting from Moroccan vagrants, like they sort of following us to the streets. They thought it was like some high quality, thousands and thousands of dollars. I didn't spend that much money. They said it to be for free, but even if I bought it, it wouldn't be that much money. Whether it's a simple piece, something a little louder, or even your own design from the GLD custom shop, you're going to find something you love. Every GLD product comes with a lifetime warranty. It's an heirloom piece you'll have forever. Tell them how to do it. Somebody. Dan.
Starting point is 01:06:45 For a limited time, new customers are getting an insane deal. Use code regs with a Z to get 40% off at glde.com. That's 40% off with the code regs with a Z at gldd.com. After your purchase, I don't ask where you heard about them. Let them know that
Starting point is 01:07:00 we sent you. Time to lock in and upgrade your style this summer with GLD. All right, gentlemen, let's talk quickly about body brain coffee. My company that I started over a year ago taking the functional coffee world by storm it's great support your testosterone naturally it has an ingredient
Starting point is 01:07:16 that help with brain function and mood and overall but I want to talk right now about the creamer Bobby which I know you love cream Robert creamer famous can I be honest for you please I really don't like a powdered cream I don't use it and I did I just but your powdered cream dude in the body brain
Starting point is 01:07:33 tastes fantastic yeah a lot of people don't like that they get turned off by a powdered creamer I go what is this truck stop But no, it's really, we use C8 MCT oil. Say that five times real fast. C8 MCT oil, C8 MCT oil, C8 MCT oil, C8 MCT oil, and coconut milk powder as a base, which tastes absolutely great. Then we got rodeola rosea.
Starting point is 01:07:55 We got quarter-step mushrooms, collagen peptides, a little bit of salon cinnamon. This stacks perfectly with the body brain coffee stack. Instead of taking 10 pills every morning, you can get a complete cup of all your endotropics, all of your adaptogens. with one cup of coffee, it tastes great. It helps your energy, mood, focus, recovery, overall vitality without the crash or the jitters. Vitality and virility, that's important.
Starting point is 01:08:18 It makes you dick hard. I was in the gas station the other day, and they were like, it was like one of these little honey packets that makes your dick hard? I was just lot lizarding the other day. These little honey packets that make your dick hard. You know what the main ingredient in them is? Rhino.
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Starting point is 01:08:59 All right, where we see. It is hot in here. It gets hot quick. It's not even close to hot in here. It feels beautiful, right? You're listening. Yeah, yeah. You're coming from the beaches of Espagna.
Starting point is 01:09:09 So nice, dude. Just being hot, sweating while you're walking around in Barcelona. You don't even care. You're like, oh, this is the way you're fucking... It's beautiful. Now, let me ask you this. I know you're in love, and maybe she listens. If you had met a hot dame out there,
Starting point is 01:09:19 would you have been tempted? He's trying to fuck guys in the beach. You think it would be tempted with a chick? Just so you know. I would have cheated. Damn, you put her on notice, right to camera. No, obviously, no. I'm like, I'm way in.
Starting point is 01:09:31 You're right? The bug thinks I'm lying. He's like, okay. Oh, we got a lie about you. This fucking guy. This guy won't do it. Damn, I thought you almost got that. For the first time of your life, Faith.
Starting point is 01:09:41 Yeah, look at this guy. This fucking bug is losing his mind. James talked a big game about trying to, like, meet the love of his life and kiss her on the beach. And then every time we saw, like, I'm like, oh, there's a cute chick over there, James. Who wants you to talk to her? He's like, no, dude.
Starting point is 01:09:53 And then I try to talk to their mom. And he was like, dad, it's on hold of their mom. I'm fucking, your kid rules because I know exactly that energy. That's because when I did see my dad, that was always his energy. He's like, look at that girl. Go talk to her, dude. It's like you once want to give him some confidence.
Starting point is 01:10:06 Shut up, man. He's like, how about we build our relationship? Well, I'm like, he's the thing I'm telling him. I'm like, dude, I was like, now's the time. You're never going to see these girls again. I was like, if you want to, like, talk to girls, it's like, who gives a shit? Right. Like, literally just like let go and like just started.
Starting point is 01:10:19 And I'm also, when I'm on vacation, I'm like, I'm like super friendly with everybody. Sure. So like, if I'm online for food, like, except an airport exit me, well, don't fucking tell me to tell me to come down. It's crazy. Don't say, comment. But if I'm next to you online, like, I'm like, oh, where you from?
Starting point is 01:10:36 Fucking, you know, you start talking to them. You start talking to these people. I'm very, like, social with, like, people around me. But that being a teenage boy and being on vacation with a parent and looking for chicks is the most fun. When I was in seventh grade, McDaniel's mom and stepdad went to Vegas and I got to go with him. And so, like, ran around Vegas trying to meet girls that were, like, 12. It was so fun. I know.
Starting point is 01:10:58 It was so fun. We were just being, like, MGM Grand, and there'd be, like, two girls with their family. And we'd be like, hey! And, like, McDaniel's, like, good with girls. so he would go talk to him. He'd get in Max there, dude. If Max was there, I would have been picking up girls on the beach.
Starting point is 01:11:10 I'm telling you right now. Max is right now on a date. Right now during the day? Yeah. What's the guy's name? Frank. He, he,
Starting point is 01:11:21 the mom had to call Dawn and talk to because I was like, I got to know the parents. I can't. Yeah. We've got to talk to somebody. Sure. He's just late to go to a house.
Starting point is 01:11:30 And, yeah, he's on a date right now. What's the girl's mom's name, Dusk? till Don Dusk and Don We got it He's already That's the best part You just got annoyed
Starting point is 01:11:41 Him like you got annoyed at a dog That's barking You go Yeah I know Okay Mighty Dusk Yeah he's It's weird though
Starting point is 01:11:49 It's We're going through the same thing Where Dust Dusk goose Our kids are becoming You son of a bitch You kept going To you hit home
Starting point is 01:11:56 It's weird When your kids It's the dawn Of a new era Stop Like a teenager And they start to get independent.
Starting point is 01:12:04 Yeah. Do they, and they're, but they're slowly going, what they're doing is they're slowly going away from us. Have you, they're slowly starting to, I woke up, we got, he was up in New Hampshire for a month and a half, we got back Sunday. Monday morning I woke up. He made coffee and he's like, yeah, I'm going out. I go, where are you going?
Starting point is 01:12:22 He goes, going for a ride with Griffin, his friend Griffin. And I'm like, where are you going? He goes, oh, no, he's going to drive around. I was like, oh, okay. What the fuck is Griffin? He's a friend of his. He's a lion. mixed with his way.
Starting point is 01:12:34 Griffin Dunn, the actor. The 16-year-old friend, yeah. Yeah. Well, they were all like dirt-bite guys. I don't know that I'd let my son go driving around with the sick.
Starting point is 01:12:43 Because the 16 or 17-year-old were like, like, yeah, but you also have to understand by their age, both of us were feral animals. We, I mean, it wouldn't matter when I was that age, I would fucking,
Starting point is 01:12:53 I was hitchhiking. I was, that's what I mean. When we were like, when Bobby was sober. I just, Bobby was sober. Sobered 50,
Starting point is 01:13:00 not 13. 16. I'm saying you were living a life. They're looking at drugs and alcohol and like that would just be my concern. No, I understand. A 16-year-old that's the ones hang out with a 13-year-old I would think is weird. Why are you hanging out with my 13-year-old? As soon as we met the guy, we've had him over, we've talked to him, I know this.
Starting point is 01:13:17 He's not telling you that he's molesting your son. No, he did. And I was like, listen, just be gentle. Be gentle. You're going to give him a lot of character. You're driving around? Driving around's weird. It's a weird.
Starting point is 01:13:29 It's just a weird thing that it's, he's, he's, Everything he does now, he's slowly just going away. And there's going to be a point, even this year, he was like, hey, do we have to go to New Hampshire for the whole summer? And I was like, I don't know. But his friends are there. He wants to be with his friends. He wants to fucking go.
Starting point is 01:13:47 They have like a dirt bike track that they all ride on the shit. There becomes a point where you just go like, and you, you know, and you remember it. You're a kid and you go, I don't want to do that shit with my parents. Even if you like your parents, you're just like, I don't want to find this point. I've always wanted to do something with a parent. Really? I always longed for parents Yeah, I've always longed for parents
Starting point is 01:14:04 I think it was just because it was me and my mom I was always like yeah I'm good Can I fucking have some space? Like I never Go on fit dude Especially once my dad died I was just kind of like I'm on my own let me just fucking
Starting point is 01:14:16 Well it's weird too because Max is becoming Pretending he's beside me Max is becoming like adult funny now Like making me laugh like as comic laugh Yeah We went fishing and then I was coming I go we gotta go I had a shit
Starting point is 01:14:31 Real bad. And we had like a half hour. I'm like, dude, I might poop my pants. And he just started laughing. He's like, oh, I hope you do. I'm like, what? I go, dude, I'm, he's like, please he goes, please God, make dad poop his pants right now.
Starting point is 01:14:44 And I'm like, dude, shut up. And then he started touching my stomach. And he's cracking up. And I was cracking up. He was just making me laugh. Well, he was high from Griffin's. From smoking methamines with Griffith. Oh, dude.
Starting point is 01:14:56 Old regular Max doesn't make me laugh at all. High Max? He kills me. The doors are playing. He's like, what's up, dad? I was taking a ride. It's all right. I need the coffee to balance me out.
Starting point is 01:15:07 The crystal ship is being... Yeah, but like when he's like, I'm going out or he's going to go do something, it's like... It's like, I told Don, I go, do we say not... What do we... Do we not let him go out? With a 16... Is he 16?
Starting point is 01:15:21 Yeah. I'd say no. He's got a firebird with T-tops. You got to let him go. I mean, are you sure... Are you going for a ride? I'm getting more defensive for Max and you are. You sure this is a good kid.
Starting point is 01:15:34 Yeah. Like, not like, uh, like he doesn't do any drugs. He's not into, like, fighting. He's not into drinking. I, I know. He has one small tattoo. He doesn't give, like, he's just going to give me. If he does that type of shit, you're,
Starting point is 01:15:45 no, they're just, they're all into dirt bike stuff. Uh, they're all dirt bike guys. Dirt bike culture is pretty crazy. And, uh, and, uh, and, and, and, yeah, we, we've met the kids. I, you can never, doing blow. Yeah, but you can't. Yeah. You can't be sure of any of it.
Starting point is 01:16:05 Sure. You can't be sure of it. Sure. And I can't control it. I can control all of it. And then he's still going to go away and do shit later. I mean, it's eventually going to happen. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:16:18 No. But it's fine. You can say what you want and do what you want with your kid. My kid is a little more independent. You know, my kid will go down to the beach and fish by himself. and he'll, you know, he'll go out at night and walking into the fucking woods. Probably's like, and he's got, you know,
Starting point is 01:16:32 he's got his list of enemies, and he's got his little, he's got his diary where he says he's going to hurt everybody, but then. He's like, sometimes my kid will, he'll carve names into bullets. I mean, that's what he does. Yeah, dude, he's got a manifesto, dude.
Starting point is 01:16:46 He knows what he wants the world to be. Why? James is a little more soft than that. And, dude, he's not the Eric Harris. He's the Dylan Klebold, you know? And, yeah, James is more soft. He's a good kid. He's not hanging out with fucking Cliff in the woods doing meth.
Starting point is 01:17:00 Cliff. I'd never let him hang out with Cliff. Cliff is a bad guy. That's so funny. You go, that's pretty cool. You guys went to a private tasting. My kid's smoking blue leg meth doing backflips on fucking dirt like. But who would you rather have?
Starting point is 01:17:16 My kid's going to be at a fucking monster truck show on that. Yeah, dude, that's fucking so funny. Just being like, who's Griffin? I'm like, no, no, no, get Griffin in here. Yeah. But at this age, you've already spent, The majority of the time you're going to spend with him. Well, yeah, statistically, yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:31 You're, you're... If you're my dad, you're fucking way past. You're fucking... My, dude, my fucking kid, you know, I couldn't imagine him not one and hang. I mean, like, he's getting more independent. Like, he goes to his room and he talks... You're both... Yeah, but you don't live with him.
Starting point is 01:17:44 You're away from him a lot. You're half time. No, you're not. Half the time, you're not. Can I... He lives with me half the time. Yeah, half. I live with him full.
Starting point is 01:17:53 So he is making... Every fucking day. He's making a good point of... I'm with him. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Yeah. The days he's not around you, he's probably like, oh, if dad was here, I'd tell him this. He's got Max, when Max and Bobby are both having a bad day, it's like, we can't fucking go anyway.
Starting point is 01:18:08 There's every fucking damn with her and him every single day. Which is fine, but it's just a different thing. But it's daunting. That's fun. I liked it. It took me a while. Dawn is her name. Hey, it took me a while.
Starting point is 01:18:21 I know you're jiggling and you're like, it took me a while. I really liked that. Jacked up on caffeine. I really liked that, though. Yeah, I mean, James is excited about a cheesecake, and Max was excited that we got accepted for a silencer on our fucking rifle. I got my gun license. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:18:37 I just got my silencer permit. I went shooting in Baltimore. Can you put it on now? He's back. I had a fucking hell of a time shooting guns on fucking Friday. Why? Why? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:51 Why did I have fun? A hell of a good time. Oh, I had a blast. What did you do? I went shot guns in Bulls on. Baltimore. Actually, right next to Magubis. There's no shooting range. They have a great, what is it called? Indoor, right? Yeah, it's two doors
Starting point is 01:19:02 down from Moogubis. Yeah. It's in the same complex. My friend owns a gun in the shooties. In Baltimore, that is like the biggest best indoor gun rage in the country. Oh. Next time you go there. That was funny. Yeah, I'll tell me because my buddy does has guns. They have a cigar
Starting point is 01:19:18 lounge in there. They have food. Actually, I know I have a friend who is the biggest best one, actually. It's a little bit bigger and better. Can I call you? Yeah, but mine, they I actually found that out, and then they made another range. Well, no, they made an annex on my friends. Yeah. Because they heard about that.
Starting point is 01:19:32 But after they made that annex, they added a garage space with, like, food trucks. Can I tell you who's really going to benefit from all this? Me? Because I'm going to shoot at both places. Yeah, I got my gun license. I got to go buy a gun now. But what gun? Not a handgun, a long gun, right?
Starting point is 01:19:47 No handgun. Oh, you get a handgun. Yeah. I'll tell you. Two handguns. I'll tell you what gun to get. What gun should you get? And two feet guns.
Starting point is 01:19:54 I mean, the gun that I love the most. For protection. Please. It's not a crazy gun. It's just a Mexican-Western 3-80 easy. And because it's safer. That was you. 3-80-Easy.
Starting point is 01:20:08 God, damn it, dude. I was going to say that was you in 80. Oh, God, dude. You were 3-80 easy. God, damn it, Joe. You got there before I did. God, dude. I'm heating up.
Starting point is 01:20:18 Can I just say one? We're going to Joe, an hour 20 minutes. By the way, that was no room. That was no room. That was no room. He should get a non-banded-banned, for that one. Yeah, he gets to get out of bomb free.
Starting point is 01:20:28 You get one. That was a fucking goal. That was clean. It has a safety, but then you can't when you squeat, it has a safety on the handle too. It's really good. I mean, the 380 isn't going to. I'm going to go to a gun shop and I'm going to arrange and I'm going to talk them about what I'm best to shoot with.
Starting point is 01:20:44 Yeah. Because I'm, like, with a revolver, it's hilarious, dude. Like, I shot a revolver in Texas and I fucking dude, I was like trying to shoot it. It was like, you know, I don't know what a fucking 20 meters or whatever. I was like, oh, fuck, I'm not hitting anything. I brought it, I kept them bringing it closer. It was like here, dude.
Starting point is 01:20:59 That's so funny. 20 yards. Someone breaks into your house and they're just walking towards you and you go, oh, dude, son of a way. Wait, so revolvers. It's me the distance to the wall. I didn't hit it once. They don't shoot as well?
Starting point is 01:21:11 Is that the thing with revolvers? I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have no idea why I can't. You're just a shit shot. I'm a shit shot. With the Glock, I can fucking bang, bang, bang. Something about my Colorado blood. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:22 I just feel it. Revolver. It was, it was comical. It was like I had a fucking. Tarantino. Oh, Divide intervention. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get a, get a, a, a nine millimeter.
Starting point is 01:21:34 Yeah, nine millimeter. Nine millimeter. I got a Sig nine millimeter, which is fuck, with the red dot on it and the flashlight. Dude, Des has this thing where you put your gun in a shoulder thing, like a holster with a red, and the accuracy of it was unbelievable. Des Bishop?
Starting point is 01:21:48 No. Des, my buddy. He's not a comic. Des Yarnese? Yeah, he's like, Russe. Yeah, he goes, you put this, the hang on. in this, boom, boom, boom, boom, you clip it out, and then they shoot,
Starting point is 01:21:59 hold the goal, put it against our roller. But we shot a shotgun, that was fucking said. Dude, me and Max go clay shooting. We have, the range we're a member of up there has a different part of it that's just clay shooting. And I bought one of those things that you put the clay, and you hit the button, it shoots it up.
Starting point is 01:22:16 Fucking crack shot. That's fun. Way better, but the shotgun clay shooting is fucking hilarious. But we have a... When they tell you, like when they those shooting, he goes, don't push against did it all let it because you just go pah on you're like holy fuck yeah yeah it's fun it's so shooting so fun it's really it really is fun
Starting point is 01:22:32 we have a 30 30-30 marlin the lever action the john wayne gun sure but it's tactical and I have the scope on it and I just got I'm putting the silencer on the end of that so it's just gonna shoot chit-ch it's just oh fucking something about that is just great that is part of you want someone to break into your house no I mean if someone breaks into my tiny house I have eight guns
Starting point is 01:22:53 it's all guns they just sleep on guns Any house, there's holes all. This isn't even a, this isn't even a house. It's just a gun closet. Now, can I ask a dumb question? If you have guns in your house with ammunition and your house catches fire, does it have like a pit-d-d-d-d-bole? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:11 Or is it fireproof safe? No, the safe is- I actually don't know the, I don't know. The safe is fireproof. Yeah, you should get, I mean, inside the safe, your guns and ammunition would be good, but I have. Dude, the problem with-gun in the scene sounds crazy. I want to get one of those, like, things where your fingerprint unlocks it. I have something, listen, I have something that, I forget the name of it,
Starting point is 01:23:28 SafeBox, I think it's a company. It's literally a box that you put in your draw or on top of your dresser, and you set a combination so when you touch it, you're fingers just do it like that. You squeeze and it opens up. Yeah, my laptop does that. Yeah, my, well, the thing is, like, I'm not worried about James. James isn't fucking, you know, smoking crack in the woods with Griffin Gore.
Starting point is 01:23:50 Max has to know how to shoot. Other way, it just said fire, no gun safe is complete. No, it's not, but it's safer than just... If your guns catch, your bullets catch a fire, do they actually start shooting everywhere? I would think so. I mean, I think we, I've seen that happen in movies. Yeah, but that's what I mean. Movies I've watched them put a bullet around a corner by going like this.
Starting point is 01:24:12 I have so much ammunition, though. Like, I have ammunition stored everywhere, because that's the thing. You need ammunition. You just throw it. If you throw a complete live round of gun power, wait. Yeah. The gunpowder inside. heats up and ignites.
Starting point is 01:24:27 However, because it is not inside a gun barrel, the pressure cannot build up. The brass casing usually splits open or flies a short distance. So still dangerous, while the heavier bullet stays mostly in place or moves only a few feet. One of my favorite follows on Instagram
Starting point is 01:24:40 is the dude who shoots through things. I haven't seen that. What? I haven't seen it. I don't see him. He's like, it's called Yee Life or something. He goes through different calibers. Yes.
Starting point is 01:24:52 And he was like, he's like, today we got, we got, we're going to see how many, cast iron frying pants we can shoot through. I love that. And then he got like 22 and then he goes up to the the Glock and then he goes to a revolver. Desert Eagle. Send me this on Instagram.
Starting point is 01:25:04 He always ends with the 50 Cal. I need this. It's so good. And he does it. He'll do everything from Hillbuck. He was like, today we're going to see how many best cheesecakes we can shoot through. But a 50 Cal, if it just goes by you, can kill you. Dude, a 50 Cal is crazy. Every time the 50 Cal just because he has a dummy behind it. He calls Fred. And he's like, oh, we're going to see if Fred's going to be okay.
Starting point is 01:25:23 And so it was like, some guns like, 22, it'll be like, it'll shoot like one notebook and then it stops it. Yeah, 22 is. And that's like what they, they recommend if you're in a state where you can get in trouble. There's like certain states where if they,
Starting point is 01:25:36 like not a, um, stand your ground, but the opposite of like, it's like a thing. If they break into your house, you can shoot them, but if you kill them, you also get in trouble.
Starting point is 01:25:44 Jersey is like that. There's a lot of states like that. It's a little bit, it's a little bit less crazy than I thought. When I first was looking into it, or I first, the third, hold them one second. The first thing you would hear is that like,
Starting point is 01:25:54 oh, if somebody comes in, you have to prove that you're, you know, blocking to a room. We talked about this, and it didn't make sense then. And multiple people were like, that's wrong. No, but it's close to right. You can't just shoot somebody for entering your house. You have to prove that your life was in danger.
Starting point is 01:26:05 There's something about... But you don't have to, like, drag their body into a room with no windows. The problem of being a gun guy is you have to know so much shit about law and... If you ever talk to a gun guy, like, I just went to fill out the silence or stuff. You have to, like, get fingerprinted and fill out all these forms. And they were just talking, and I was just going, yeah. Yeah, like I knew... I don't know what F-14, 7-7s.
Starting point is 01:26:25 I mean, you know, you have to know so much shit about so much shit. And every gun company, and they change guns every years and they change the laws every fucking month in every state. So it's, it's a lot. But we all agree there should be extreme background checks. I'm going to tell you this, though, when I'm in New Hampshire, it's a carry state. Yeah, you keep that bang on you? To be able to walk around, I don't know what it is, but to put your gun on it, like my 380 or my 9 and carry it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:53 I don't do it. I mean, I lived in Arizona for five years, so I saw that shit all the time. It's something about it where you just feel cool shit. Open carry states there are guys that really want you to know they have guns. Dude, I was at a fair and the guy had fucking two guns on his. Yeah, you go. Dude, no, it was cool looking. He was just walking around like, eh, and he just had two guys.
Starting point is 01:27:13 I was like, fuck. The reason I wouldn't want to walk around like that is if just someone took it off me, I'd feel so stupid if I looked cool. They do, he goes through it. A 50 Cal is not funny. Don't go just to the end. You got to show the. We got to shoot one of them. Go to Instagram.
Starting point is 01:27:25 He does like a one or two minute version of this. You don't have to do the long, Hey, Tuesdays are stories. They have, right? That's in the sidebar. It's all ye life. At my range,
Starting point is 01:27:36 they have a 700, 750 range. They have a different range, like 100, 50, 25, so the 20th is guns. And then the 150 is rifles and guns. And then the 750 is that shit. And you can always hear when somebody's,
Starting point is 01:27:50 it just goes, it just, you're like, fuck. And it's just, One shot and then it's really dude that sound I want to get good at it as well because like I'm intimidated by it here Turn it up a bullet. I'm gonna shoot these hands higher and higher caliber bullets all the way up to 50 cow and see how many takes to stop each round good luck Fred start now with the 22 This guy's channel is fucking great ping-o bullet hit right here and it's like a BB gun isn't that dangerous to bounce off off off that's what I was gonna say he's far enough away But the bullet went through our first pan bounced off the second Fred still okay moving up to the revolver shooting around
Starting point is 01:28:24 a 44 magnet holy shit it's a good gun yeah that the bullet went through two pans and bounced off the third moving up to the desert eagle shooting around a 50 a e let's go yeah yo the eagle went through one pan two pans and bounced off the third moving up to the 12 gauge shooting a slug you ready's back yeah wow that is fun look at this thing rules i need to watch All these. It's different things every time. He shoots with, watch. Shooting around a seven.
Starting point is 01:28:55 Then he'll shoot a scar after this. At the AK went through one, two, three, and then bounced off number four. Moving up to the gold scar, shooting around a 308. The scar went through one, two, three pans, bounced off. How come the holes are getting bigger? What's that made? The bullet. The bullet.
Starting point is 01:29:14 The bullet went through one, two, three pans and also bounces off number four. Fred's still okay. The exit holes all is bigger. Hang on, Fred. You. Fred. What causes the fire? Just the iron getting hit so fast?
Starting point is 01:29:32 50 cow went through five whole pans and bounced off number six. Fred survives the video. So you have to hold ten frying pans in front of you. Now that I know that, literally if I was ever going to go out into a war zone, I'd like, all right, I need six frying pans. They're coming. Get the frying pans. Load me up. Put me in my frying pan suit.
Starting point is 01:29:53 Thank you, Paco. You're a good man, and I know you're going to win. Well, thank you, Joe. I appreciate you even more because of your skin color. Thank you, Paco. Nobody laughed. I feel weird now. Thank you, Paco.
Starting point is 01:30:05 Yeah, but that, dude, he does, and he just does a different thing, like every few days he'll do a different thing to shoot through. Okay. Can anyone actually explain why the first bullet hole looks smaller than the second bullet hole? No. What do you mean? I can't actually. The bullet's different sizes.
Starting point is 01:30:21 No, no. The first, every single time he shoots. The first pan, it expands and goes wider. I'm assuming that the bullet starts expanding as it hits the first thing, and it opens up more. Yeah, you ever see Jav Kay's head? It went in small on the back and then blew out. I'm not talking about exit wound, though.
Starting point is 01:30:34 I'm talking about the first bullet hole was big. That first bullet hole in the first pan is smaller than the second pan's bullet hole. I genuinely don't know. I'm too stupid. I mean, we could Google. Why don't you Google the answer? Gugo. Gugo.
Starting point is 01:30:48 Google. Google. Google. Gogo. Google dolls. never liked them. Didn't love them either. That was a weird, like,
Starting point is 01:30:55 where rock became for women. Like, hard rock became for chicks. Dude, fuck you. From, like, 97 to 2003. I'd give up forever to touch me. Yeah, there was that shit, dude. Bullet X-Hole. That's not more asking.
Starting point is 01:31:09 It's like, yeah. It's like, yeah. It's like, yeah. Creed. You know what I was listening to the other day is the Everclear. Father of mine. Tell me, where have you been?
Starting point is 01:31:19 Because I was in Portland. They're from Portland. The second track on that is called Drug Girl or Heroine Girl. It rocks. It's like a punk song. Max is dating her. Griffin introduced her. He goes, hey, what's up? This is Spider. She's nuts.
Starting point is 01:31:33 A woman named Spider. I'm intrigued. Dad, Griffin gave me a tattoo. Dad, Griffin says when you're asleep, we're going to take your guns. Griffin's going to take Max to Skank Fest. He goes, I got us two VIP tickets to Skank. He's like, Keeper Sutherland and Stand By Me. Beatrice got mad at me because I let James is like
Starting point is 01:31:52 I'm gonna take a walk around Barcelona Remember when he says around Barcelona like in a three block radio Sure from the hotel we're saying at the fucking There's nothing more close we were saying it like one of the nicest hotels 13 in exploring on a family vacation is the fucking best I told Beatrice she's like you you let him walk around a city by himself in a foreign country I was like James is six feet tall nobody is kidnapping James He also has jiu jitsu knowledge he boxes he's like literally a tough kid
Starting point is 01:32:17 He's and she's like he has no street smarts I was like he needs to do shit in the streets to develop I was downstairs at the cellar and Max was like Hey dad I'm gonna go to the store I was like all right I gave I go just come back anything happens Just come back here and uh one of the comments like You're letting him go to the store in New York
Starting point is 01:32:35 City by himself? I'm like Yeah dude the kid kids that grow up here on the subway She lets him do that in New York She works in the Upper West Side so he'll visit her at work and he'll like walk around the neighborhood I'm like I'm more concerned about New York City than I am Barcelona unquestionably We weren't in like, if we, look, you can get robbed. Especially the Upper West Side.
Starting point is 01:32:53 If you go to, like, the touristy areas in Barcelona, people are getting pickpocketed. I met a girl. We were at a paella cooking class, which was actually one of the coolest experiences. And one of the gay-s-man I said. One of the gays, I went to a paella cooking class. It was all just hot chicks and me and James. Real quick, I went into a dressmaking store and I was hanging out with a dressmaker. But it was cool.
Starting point is 01:33:11 You don't understand. A paella. She had her necklace, just a guy ran. Ganked. Ganked it off her and ran. And then they run into alleyways. And then. if you chase them, they fucking beat your ass
Starting point is 01:33:22 when you get into the alleyway. So, like, at night, if he was, like, by himself in, like, a weird, like, touristy area where people, but even him, he looks like a young teenage kid. There's no wallet. There's no watch. There's no jewelry. There's, like, no, people are picking. Just hotness.
Starting point is 01:33:35 Yeah, just, but he's also not going to be trafficked. He's too old to be trafficked and sex slavery. Yeah, Max, I, I was talking to Donna. I was like, nobody's going to try to fuck Max. He's too big and... He's, like, mean, now? Yeah. So he's, like, the guy would be like,
Starting point is 01:33:48 sorry, I can't get it up. He's like, you're fucking gross, dude. You have pubs. I can't do it. You're picking hard, you fucking. Yeah, yeah, you go, oh, fuck. You got hair on your shins. Just mean 13 year olds trying to
Starting point is 01:33:57 the mean 13 year. I'm like, what is the worst-age scenario here that you think he's going to be trafficked in Barcelona? I think are six foot tall. He looks like he's 16. Everyone thought he was 16 years old every time people would ask how old he was. Both of your kids have that thing
Starting point is 01:34:09 where they're growing past their age. Like, they're getting too big. So when you see them, they're like not adjusted to their bodies. Oh, yeah. Hey, what's up? When I saw, when I saw James at Madison and Square Garden at Shane show. He just walks up.
Starting point is 01:34:20 He's like, Oh, he's like, what's up, James? He's like a golden retriever with big feet. Yeah, he's got big paws and he was like,
Starting point is 01:34:26 oh, it's pretty cool, but he's still like little James. I still see it in him. I learned, I taught him about a shave on this strip. Oh, that's fun.
Starting point is 01:34:34 A little highlight. That's sweet. His balls. Making fun of you to him and making him laugh was one of my favorite experiences. Making fun of you, and James is like,
Starting point is 01:34:41 ha. James fucking loves this shit. He loves it. He's a ball bust. No, I think you've got to let kid do shit. You got a little bit. I mean, when I was, I would literally hit-hiking, I was hitchhiking at 12 years old to go to the mall, just go to the movies. Yeah, I don't think that's the example to leave with it. Well, no, I obviously, you wouldn't let him do that, but I remember
Starting point is 01:35:00 one time me and my buddy James, James Saconne, we were hitchhiking and, like, a pretty hot chick in a Camaro stopped. Like, it was at night to, like, take us home. Smoking hot chick, probably 19 or 20 years old. He was maybe 14, I'm maybe 13, right? And we're like, we're in this girl's come out and she had she was wearing a tank top and you can see her hard nipples through a white tank top no bra I mean she was and she was being slow down slow down super flirty oh and like don't bust that nut yet I shit you not this girl wanted to get fucked by so we were just like little boys so we just didn't understand the signals god we would have had such a good time you really think she wanted one dude I know women now okay one of the
Starting point is 01:35:39 one of the only things that I know so sorry don Juan women I know women no women have never go against intrinsic. If you get a vibe that a woman wants to fuck you, she wants to fuck you 99% of the time, period. And this woman was giving us that fucking vibe. But if you're 13, you don't have to act on that. Chill. Yeah. Oh, I wish you. Learn arithmetic. Biggest regret that. And then you could have like, suitor.
Starting point is 01:36:01 Because she was a pedophile. Dan suitor? Dan suitor. Hi, I'm Dan Suter. I had one that I think everyone might have missed, so if we could just go back to the Barcelona story real quick. Yeah. James isn't going to go far Salona. Hey. Did you guys miss it?
Starting point is 01:36:15 We didn't need to rewind for that one, but I'm glad you did it. All right. Bub, boo, boo, boo, boo, so on. But the idea of vibing it was, because that's not true. I was a pizza delivery guy. One time a lady answered the door and a towel and she was nice to me and I wasn't like. Dude, I was a sub-delivered guy for Delangelo's, and the lady used to order the same ham sandwich, and I would go in and fuck the shit out of her. What?
Starting point is 01:36:35 Yeah. I were going, she'd order, she lived in this little, she lived in a house, but in the back of the house, somebody's house, but she had like the bottom apartment. She's a dangerous. And I would see, it would say, no windows. I would, every time I saw the sandwich, it was just a, that's it. Ham with cheese and mustard, and that's it. If another guy, if another guy took it, would he get the fucker? Nope.
Starting point is 01:36:56 Is it like Pavlov? Like, you see a ham sandwich now? You get a, I made a ham sandwich. He's on the road. The weirdest thing, though, is she lied about her age. She was definitely older. Sure. I knew she, and I was like, how old are you?
Starting point is 01:37:09 She's like 25, and I was like, you're not, you like 30 something. Yeah, you had a tough life. Yeah, she had like, it's like, you. She's lying about her age, but yeah, I used to fuck her all this time. I thought everybody was old. My wife now is four. Please turn the air back on. I'm dying.
Starting point is 01:37:21 My wife is 48 now. A 48-year-old woman when I was 15, I thought was 75. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. I thought 40 was. I went to the planetarium. My high school had a planetarium.
Starting point is 01:37:35 Your high school has something. Let me alone. Let me be. Yeah, no, we had a planetarium at the high school. And I remember in elementary school, that was like one of the field trips is you go to the planetarium at the high school. school and it seemed like it was like the biggest most massive fucking room and you'd see the the kid and back then kids were the kids were allowed to smoke on on campus on school rounds that's so cool
Starting point is 01:37:55 smoking section so you'd see like them smoking and they were full-fledged adults these were 16 and 17 year old kids they were full-fledged adults to me i remember getting finally getting to high school and going to the planetarium like it was like you know it was one of your classes was in the planetarium it was literally a classroom that had a domed ceiling that's really funny they built out a dome ceiling in a regular sized classroom. And when you're a little kid, it was just like... When you go back to your elementary school and you're like, the desks are that small. Yeah, at least seems like a midget building. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:22 It's a house. This is a house for dolls. The weird, one of the strangest mind fucks in life is everybody's age when you were younger. Like your teachers were probably like 28 years old. So the one that I'm coming to right now that's weird is my dad died when he was 48. You come to that? And I go, I go, it's crazy. I go, I'm gonna
Starting point is 01:38:40 fucking lose it. I'm gonna fucking lose it. He's fucking dead. Oh, I'm five years away from it. I'm so fucking close. Maybe if I start drinking, I can hit that mark again. My mom died when she was 42. She was younger than me. That's, yeah. I don't remember my mom being older than me.
Starting point is 01:38:53 That's fucking nuts to me. When you're like pass it and you're like, I'm older than they were. Yeah, that's fucking weird. Because you're just like, I don't feel, I still feel like I'm younger than them. Oh, I feel like a fucking kid. Yeah. But she died from drugs. It must be weird if, like, your parent died young at like 40-something from like heart or something.
Starting point is 01:39:13 Yeah. And you're like, I hope I got. Yeah, my dad drank himself to hepatitis C and then cirrhosis. So, like, he had some extra add-editis. Some drinking? Yeah. Well, he was just a fucking blackout in a fucking trailer park and got hep C.
Starting point is 01:39:27 And then he kept drinking. He was doing needle drugs, Dan. No, he wasn't. No, for a fact, my dad wasn't. He got hep C. He got it from fucking a slut, and she had it. You can get Hep C from unprotected sex. It's very hard. It's very hard to get hep C from vegetables.
Starting point is 01:39:40 Dude, my dad was Boston up. It's extremely hard. Look it up. It's very, very. It's like 1991, though. I get hepsy from sex. Very easy to get a hepsey from needles. I promise you.
Starting point is 01:39:49 I promise my dad was expensive. I would love if he did because I would, I'd be like, yeah, dude. I'm just going to believe you. Believe all soders. I would love if my dad was a heroin addict. That would have made him cooler in my eyes. Just finish his story. But I'm just saying.
Starting point is 01:40:02 Oh, is that it? No, yeah, he died at 48. So it's just weird because you're like, do you get close to it? And you're like, for me, he was so old. Yeah, Dan's story was going to be. He's almost as old as his father was, but then Lewis interrupted him to say, the same thing but for his mother. Infected blood.
Starting point is 01:40:17 Sharing during infected needles, 60 to 80% chance of infection. Sexual transmission, under 1% per year. Dan's dad did fucking drugs. Hell yeah. Dad was shooting up. That's sick.
Starting point is 01:40:31 Can I tell you right now, that would make so much more sense than him just... He said, him just drinking. I was like, damn, you got to drink a lot to be that shitty of a dad. But if he was like... That was fucking like Lewis's mom.
Starting point is 01:40:42 He had fun and on the show. Can I tell you right now? And I genuinely mean this. It's so much more rock and roll than him dying from just drinking. But he could have been injured during a health care needle stick. That's 1.8%. No, I was always told, and by the way,
Starting point is 01:40:58 I was told by my aunt, not anybody who was like, it was his sister, it was like, yeah, he got it from this girl. They were telling you. They were broken. She had, my aunt got hep C. From your father. From him throwing up blood in her eye. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:41:12 she was helping him while he was sick. Now, this is the Taranty. film. When she was, when she was helping him, she moved back to help him when he was sick, and he threw up blood and had gotten her heart. His aunt was a drug user. I'm like, well, she didn't think it was a big deal
Starting point is 01:41:26 and then like seven months later, they were like, you have hepatitis. I let's she couldn't hepatitis C anymore. Dude, that's sick. My dad being like, the aunt's finding out his whole family used drugs. That makes sense. His aunt was a fucking, they're both fucking just shooting up. Yeah, dude, she fucking shot up too. dude she didn't get it from his eyes
Starting point is 01:41:46 yeah dude you're fucking life you think they're gonna tell you the truth dude they were both fucking shooting up heroin addicts fucking sharing their fucking head me dude I love it came back banging fucking junk they were both nodding off somewhere in a fucking trailer dude my dad's at the back of a bowling alley like
Starting point is 01:42:01 hey don't tell Dan hey Dan doesn't know this don't let oh also the long sleeves in July made sense yeah dude you fucking drug out of family is that a real thing no my dad died of surrender because he had Hep C
Starting point is 01:42:15 and then he kept drinking. And then it just was like and then that's a fucking nasty way out. Yeah, that's a terrible way. I'm not drinking anymore here, but I did drink a lot. Would you drink wine? All wine and beer. I know, I haven't drank. The amount of beer that I drank, it's maybe
Starting point is 01:42:30 collectively the amount of beer that I've drank for the past 10 years. Did you get expensive wine? Like a, none of the wine. Like a holy shit wine? Well, with the tasting in the secret room. The tasting was yes, that was expensive as well. But that not a like... I would love Lewis who became a Wine connoisseur.
Starting point is 01:42:45 Oh, purple. He comes in with purple teeth. Yeah. Guys, I'm just real emotional today. I'm bulimic. And Skangfest, he has a wine person that has a candle goblet. A ton of wine. That's like one of my drinks.
Starting point is 01:42:57 It's bourbon and wine. I drink a lot of wine. But not now. What, like asavi bee? You get like a white wine. You get bitchy? I go of French wines. I like I'm dry.
Starting point is 01:43:06 Warm summer breeze is French wines and cheese. A big port go region I look for. A little blends. Anyway. We're going to wrap it up, boys? Yeah. We're here. We did it.
Starting point is 01:43:16 All right, we did it. It was fun. I'm pumped for Skagfest right around the corner. What's great is some footage. You know what's great? I showed you some footage. Cold weather. A two minute chunk.
Starting point is 01:43:26 Hoodies are right around. I hate that. Get out of here. So sad. The summer is going by. I don't know if it's because we have kids. The summer just flies by. Like, I remember the summer used to be long and hot.
Starting point is 01:43:39 Now it's just like. There was three months of your life when you were 11 years old was a measurable percentage of your life. Now we're old, so months feel like weeks. But we're doing shit every day. You've got to go and it's just like it's gone. It's fucking over, fast. But I'm excited for that. I fucking sweatshirt weather. I do like a sweatshirt
Starting point is 01:43:55 and I like football being back. I like football and porno and books about war. I like all those three things too. Dennis Leary. Oh, cool. That's an asshole song. All right. Well, you guys will see you guys next time on the regs. Bye.

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