Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Storytellerz | The Regz w/ Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List Ep #70
Episode Date: August 27, 2026Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss the way some concerts end and cost money, the best burger and basque cheesecake Luis had in Spain, European vs American fat, hot men on the... beach, Luis incident at the Airport, Bobby and Max at the monster trucks, The Star-Spangled Banner, SNL, their little boy crushes, the best gun range and how dangerous is Barcelona, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/ SPONSORS Hims Trying to lose weight with the help of GLP-1s? Get personalized, affordable care that fits you at https://hims.com/theregz Mint Mobile Get your wireless bill to $15/month! http://MintMobile.com/regz INDACLOUDIf you’re 21 or older, get 30% OFF your first order @ IndaCloud with code REGZ at https://inda.shop/REGZ #indacloudpod BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ GLDNew customers get 40% off with code REGZ at http://GLD.com Robert Kelly, Luis J. Gomez, Joe List, and Dan Soder discuss the way some concerts end and cost money, the best burger and basque cheesecake Luis had in Spain, European vs American fat, hot men on the beach, Luis incident at the Airport, Bobby and Max at the monster trucks, The Star-Spangled Banner, SNL, their little boy crushes, the best gun range and how dangerous is Barcelona, and more! Presented by YKWD and GaS Digital. LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-regz/id1700969607 SOCIALS Robert Kelly @ykwdpodcast https://robertkellylive.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robertkellylive/ Luis J. Gomez https://luisofskanks.com/ https://www.instagram.com/gomezcomedy/ https://twitter.com/luisjgomez Joe List https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ Dan Soder https://www.dansoder.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dansoder/ SPONSORS Hims Trying to lose weight with the help of GLP-1s? Get personalized, affordable care that fits you at https://hims.com/theregz Mint Mobile Get your wireless bill to $15/month! http://MintMobile.com/regz INDACLOUDIf you’re 21 or older, get 30% OFF your first order @ IndaCloud with code REGZ at https://inda.shop/REGZ #indacloudpod BodyBrain Coffee Use code REGZ20 to get 20% off https://www.BodyBrainCoffee.com/ GLDNew customers get 40% off with code REGZ at http://GLD.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Fill her up.
You'll be loving right here.
L-I-M-P.
Biscuit is right here.
People on the house, put your hands in the air.
They're having a moment right now.
We don't care.
They're having a moment right now.
The Olympics gets back.
They're more popular than they've ever been.
I saw them.
But since you saw them, they're bigger now again.
Well, what happened would suck is that they're older,
and at one point they brought everybody's kids,
like any kids, and they brought them all on stage,
and they let them sit up, which was cool.
Like, oh, that's cool.
All this guys.
If you have a kid, bring them,
and they brought all the kids.
So it was just a bunch of kids.
If you got a kid, let them shit right here.
But then the kids stayed too,
they stayed way too long.
Twinkle, Twinkle, little star.
West Borland's creeping around.
You know, all the kids are like,
I don't know who these people.
My dad took me here.
This is my friend.
And then, and then they didn't even get to the last song
because they had PNC and they had 11.
They just shut shit down.
Really?
So they couldn't even do the last song.
That's got to be a very fun job to have
as being the guy that shuts it all down.
You see it happens?
to Chappelle? Yeah, and he freaked out.
Where? The Fugis were on stage. It was like
the actual Fugis all back together
and then they cut the light off. Where? Tell of the story. It's a video.
You can get the video. Dave Chappelle came over and started
giving a speech. He's like, yo, man, you're messing up.
What are you doing? Oh, sorry, you're right.
I can't believe you cut off the Fughey's, man.
You cut off Martin Luther King, Jr. I think
that's literally what he said. I dance off, because
we usually do it, and then he'll go, I got it and take it over.
I can't believe the rules apply to us.
I can't.
I don't like the fact the rules might apply to this situation.
Then he goes, I'm going to remember this.
And he points.
I'm going to remember.
I have started a vendetta against your family.
For the next three generations, you will be cursed.
And they go, dad fuck me up.
If Dave Chappelle said that to me, I'd wake up the next day.
And I'd be like, dude, Dave Chappelle's mad at me.
Is he, like, awesome as a person?
Yes.
I don't know.
I heard he's got, I mean, if you talked to Jay, his.
his new best friend,
he went up and hug Jay and...
Oh, by the way, if you just like me, I don't care.
Like, if you're a musician, if you like me,
yes. I'm like that as the greatest musician of the whole time.
That's what happened with Jay and the guy from Blues Traveller.
He's trying to shove Blue's Traveler.
He's trying to shove Blue's Traveler.
Same here.
Well, first off, don't act like the album Four wasn't a bang.
Farrhead, everything on it.
At hook.
It had, dude.
Run around.
Sagalow.
Mountains win again.
Dude, that happened to me with Sideneck.
That sounds made up.
That sounds like a good person.
You don't know side neck?
No.
Are you shit me?
That motherfuckering side of the neck.
Side neck.
Let's watch this.
You're saying it like it's Wu-Tang.
Top of the head, side of the neck.
You've never heard of the nose.
You've never heard a sloppy poppy.
Watch this.
Bring up side neck for us very quick.
Side neck is like him and JF's right.
We can't play copyrighted music.
We can't.
It's on Instagram.
That's our legal department.
Bring it up.
Side neck.
Damn side neck.
Let me go up to his followers.
Oh, I do know this guy.
Go up to his followers.
I have been seeing him on the internet.
Hang on a second.
Go up to his fucking followers.
How many times do I got to say it?
It's, uh...
Fuck man.
I'll go down, scroll down.
I'll tell you which one to click.
Scroll down.
Is this your, is this you soft launching a way to tell us this is your family member?
Click, go back up.
Scroll up.
Stop scrolling.
Just scroll down a little bit.
Go up, up, up, up.
Who's doing this?
Who's scrolling right?
There's a lot of people who are going.
All right, Paco, stop being passive aggressive at you scroll.
Go back up to the top.
I'll go to the one on the left with the two chicks right there this is sideneck dude
oh my god look at that chick's teeth are unreal literally you know how we got like that
it looks like if Gary Owen was in an accident Jay would go to go to the video actually
dude it's so funny all his his songs called side neck go to another video don't play the same
Are we doing a bombfire bit right now?
No, he actually...
This was completely done on bonfire.
We're just repeating a whole thing they did on bonfire.
Hey, hey, what are you guys doing on my property?
And who the fuck are you?
That's it.
That's it.
I love this guy.
It looks like they took like a corpse and they used AI to make it rap.
It looks like they tattooed the guy when the alien is in Vincent Donofrio and men in black.
that up?
Him and Jay talked.
He became really good friends.
He became really good friends.
Well, you know, Jay, as he gets really quick, like he said, as soon as somebody likes him,
he's like, dude, yeah, come down.
Jay will pretend that side neck is great.
Also, you know that, I don't know what happened to him, but you know he's unhealthy.
Whenever people have these little bags attached to their arm, I don't know exactly know what
is, but that's medicine all day every day.
That's the doctor that goes, hey, I'm going to have to put this on you the whole time.
You're going to have to have a bag for life.
I can't have you out of eyesight without medicine on you?
Can I ask you, but you need medicine being regularly injected into your
body 24 hours. Hey, I got to set up Medicine City on your shoulder.
I want to ask you a question. Tell me what you think happened to him. Just everybody
take a guess what you think has to. He was shot the stairs? A bunch. Nope. Gang.
Fell off, fell down the stairs.
He got beat by another gang, rival gang. No. Pipes. He hit a moose. He hit a moose.
And the moose went into the car. And at the last time, it went up, dude.
And then the moose at the
the last second, kicked him in the head.
No.
Yo.
Really?
Yeah, crazy.
It should be called Moose Kick.
That's such a better name.
Moose kicks is a better name.
I own all moose, everything.
Moose kick, moose punch.
I have the moose dinners.
I have the moose dine.
You got to try Bobby's brand new moose punch.
Moose fun.
It's delicious.
I got new moose tea.
Dude, you know me, dude, it's moose shirts.
Do you bring up Shepel's thing.
Moose breakfast cereal.
Musilini.
Hey.
Nice.
Hey now.
Chappelle's fun.
I mean.
So where did it tell me, we don't.
We don't need a video.
Tell me where the Chappelle thing happened.
Give me the story.
We're storytellers, for God's sakes.
I only watched a brief video of it.
Director Joe.
I think the Fugis haven't been on stage together in forever.
Ever.
He waited until like 11.30 to bring them out.
I mean, I don't know if you know about Lauren Hill,
but she's like always late.
Like four hours late to the point that people were like.
And when you say Lauren Hill, you mean people of her ilk.
Well, what's the funny part about it is when you see other black people,
go no no no no because she was like the other black musicians were going like no it's just
like disrespectful like we oh wow like she like left us waiting and we were supposed to play a show
it wasn't like it's not even black people time it's lauren hill time it's lauren hill time it's like it's
notorious that she's like really hard to work with right and i think they got all the fuji's together
and it was too late and they cut the fucking lights oh so it was in the uk yeah because they're
famous for doing this is a famous springsteen one where springsteen's famous for playing these
marathon but they also say it like when you go do these big giant fucking
fucking theater or a stadium.
They tell you.
They're like,
no, no,
we have like,
we have to pay, like,
millions of dollars
and fines to go above.
I've seen concerts
where literally,
they've been like,
hey, we're going to do one more song.
It's going to cost us $10,000 because we're going to go,
but some places are so strict,
they go, you hit that curfew,
the lights are off.
Yeah, yeah.
Well,
that's what they,
the Springsteen show in,
um,
High Park,
because he's famous for going,
I'll pay the money back.
I'm the guy.
I'm a working class guy.
One of my favorite Colin jokes is when he goes.
Yeah, yeah.
He's a phony.
He goes, yeah, now there's a steel worker missing a thumb because he wanted to do a three-hour version of Rosalita.
He goes, oh, yeah, you're a real working guy doing a four-hour concert on a Tuesday.
That's what are my favorite things?
And now are guys, yeah.
So in London, he's doing high park, outdoors in high park.
And they're like, this neighborhood, they're not fucking right.
You can't do the thing.
And he was like, all right, well, okay.
And he's playing twisted shut and they just turned off the fucking room.
He goes, oh, well, I'm Bruce Springsteen.
Suck my fucking dick.
Thank God you're here.
We all just throw it a shitty...
I thought that was Steve Austin, to be honest with you.
Well, also, I forgot how to do my springsteen because it's been a while.
It was...
When I'm down and out, there's my springsteen.
He goes, hey, uh, hey, hot park, don't be gays about this.
Imagine Steve Austin came out and we saw it on a high...
I don't give a damn if you're talking about it.
Bruce Springsteen.
He goes, how are you there and I'm here?
No.
How are you there and I'm here?
But if you...
But if you...
But if I'm...
But you...
So he's in Hyde Park.
My cans don't work.
Well, the next night, you know, Springsteen, he's a wonderful guy, got a great sense of humor.
So they turn the lights and sound off of them.
They're like, you can't do that here.
We don't do that.
We don't fuck around.
So the next night he was in Dublin, and he came out and went, wow, and he picked up the song halfway through where he was before, which is fun.
They go, I don't understand your bit.
A lot of people.
We weren't in fucking New Jersey.
What is this?
A lot of people saying he was doubling down that night.
It's right there.
And thank you.
Because honestly, you were saving me with my bad Irish.
Oh!
Nobody like that.
My cans don't work.
That's proof his mouth is like his butthole.
It's very dry and tight.
You guys are going to yell at me about my cans, but they're in and out.
They pop up and they put them in another thing.
We have 14 producers on this show.
Yeah.
That's true.
Ask one of these fucking lazy producers to fix it.
That's fucking crazy.
Sorry, I was three hours late.
Do you guys check the cans before or just the mics?
They were.
The producers pissed me off.
I'm on Bruce Springsteen time.
They did that.
We did comedy.
We did Story Wars at the Comedy Store
And they have like a hard out at like 2 a.m.
They can't serve alcohol anymore
So we're we all drinks on the table
They come out and they start removing our drinks from the table during the show
Snap that's sick
It was crazy
We started an hour
We started at 1 a.m.
Because yeah it was because
Shack Burton Shack had to fucking go over on their show
How welcome you could never put on a shirt
And he goes
Is Shack doing crowdwork?
How big are you?
you. Hey, you don't always
have to do the machinery said. Oh,
Burt and Shack. I think there's
a man named Burton Shack. Burt and Shack. You don't
know Burton Shack? I don't know.
Well, now I'm so out of the loop when people
say, you can say anything. I'm like, oh, fuck, I got to look this guy.
John Burton, Jack, yeah. He's hilarious, dude.
Do you do a Burt? Do you do a Burt? No. I don't do a Burt.
I only do Shack. Only half of it. Only peanut butter, not the jelly.
So, Springsteen.
Oh, that was the whole... I finished the story. Yeah, Dublin. He buttoned it up with
Dublin.
We're storytell.
But Chappelle.
Our stories are so good that we don't know when they end.
I thought it ended up.
He's just not paying attention.
You freaking out about your fucking headphones and me making a dumb dumb.
And you farted in the microphone.
You lost your mind.
You're spires.
I do like the fart, though.
Don't listen to him.
Fart is good.
Also, last week, everyone started shouting at me about my fucking cans.
So this week, the cans weren't working.
I said, hey, my cans aren't working.
No freak out.
You fixed it.
All fixed.
I got a topic.
Go ahead.
Today is my nine-year wedding anniversary.
No one cares.
Let's talk about our great...
She let you come here.
She never lets me come.
Folks, let's talk about our great memories of the wedding.
Topic.
I mean, I have no memories of your wedding.
I brought Kim.
Yeah, you guys both had exes there.
Comedians.
Both lady...
Well, mine wasn't a comedian when it started.
But it wasn't really your wedding.
already got married. It was your, it was an, it was a, it was a wedding. Yeah, but you, the marriage wasn't real. You already were married. No, just your performance wasn't real. Whoa. I thought Bobby did a fint. Bobby was the high. It was great. The food. The food was the high. The food was the food. We all, we discussed it's on the show. We all agreed that the food is stuck in time. I just say something. I don't even remember the food. I've changed my opinion. It was food. Bobby knows when there's, I've changed my opinion. Oh, that Bobby really knew if there was. Bobby. I tell you had the best food ever at a wedding, Lenny Marcus.
he did buddy he had a great and he took me this how fat i was he goes bobby i'd like you to come to
the tasting he took me to the tasting at the event to try all the food that they they saw you walking
up there like fuck she'd bring a picky eater to the tasting you would have fucking crushed anything
buddy it was because of me the food was fucking awesome dude can you put that on that no we can't
you can't put that on that no that's not that on that is so much more funnier than actually
describing the two foods.
You can't put cheesecake on a hamburger.
Dude, that would be my restaurant.
If I ever wanted that on that.
You just come in, it's everything,
and you go pat on that,
pancakes with hamburgers.
I mean, you said cheesecake and hamburger, by the way,
I will say, side topic,
because I just come back from Spain.
Best cheeseburger I've had in my entire life.
Bardezzi in San Sebastian.
Nate Bardessi?
I'm going to tell you right now, I'll grill it.
I grill it right.
I mean, we got three ingredients.
We got meat.
We got cheese.
We got a brioche.
bone. And no bad words.
No bad word to be said.
Dude, I shit you not. I ate this burger and
I got emotional when I was done. Are you shitting us
not? I shit you not. That's because the jet lag, you
asshole. No, I got a... You're on
Molly. No, he's just
got emotional because he hasn't had
fucking bread in three weeks. Got giant
people as he's getting emotional. No, I had nothing
about bread while I was there. And I got literally
like I was on Molly. I fucking
it was like my, it was like
the serotonin and myself, I felt that
like my spine opening up and I was like this
is the best thing I've ever fucking eaten.
Did you slam it down?
Who bought this burger?
Lewis is a fucking hippie.
Who took this bite?
It was, it was fucking.
Louis is just a fat Puerto Rican inside.
Dude, it was, I mean,
what was so good about it?
It's three, the meat, like they,
they, they, they're, they're whole thing.
Well, they have real meat there.
They spent this.
I don't know if you go to go to other countries,
you taste meat without steroids.
You go, oh yeah.
This is delicious.
They, uh, they spent a year developing this meat recipe with a specific like,
like body brain.
Did you read that off the wall?
Did you actually talk to that?
No, I, I,
I talked to the guy, and I also did the research.
We did a whole food tour.
The whole vacation was just walking around eating food.
Wow.
So, Madrid?
No, this was San Sebastian and Barcelona.
It's called Bartholona, please.
Buffalo.
So you, so the burger was just good because the meat was like, first of all, pull up the actual burger.
You'll see the pictures of it.
It's like, it looks raw almost.
They barely cook it.
It's fucking very, very, very, like, rare.
What about the restaurant?
A-R-D-E-S-Y.
And then they use this, like, kind of cream cheese.
It's not cream cheese.
Like, we know it's like a creamy cheese.
Like that they...
Cram?
No, cream cheese.
Cogden?
And then, uh...
That's fun.
Let me use a bryosh bun.
Brea...
Brioch.
Callin?
Brioch Callan.
And it's three in green...
Riosch Callin?
I don't know, Brian.
That's what I'm horrible.
I only got the BRI and then my mind started freaking out.
So...
You start thinking about that burger.
Dude, I mean...
I mean it.
It was a...
Another fucking...
How many did you have while you were there?
Two.
Priyosh Bunsen burner?
As a fan of science...
As a guy that loves lab work?
The immediate pound from soda,
I love it.
I love it.
It was...
Now, let me ask you this.
Please.
Do you think part of your loving it,
your emotion,
was that you learned about...
You read of it, so it's built up.
True.
No.
No.
You just had it.
You knew about this place before you went?
We went...
My assistant set me up with a...
bunch of...
I hate all of the sense.
Oh, fuck off.
Nobody cares about some assistant.
Well, I have a food porter.
Oh, my.
Well, no, my assistant went to San Sebastian
and she set me up with like a bunch of itiner.
I, of course, she wasn't with you.
I, of course, had to send my taste tester.
Oh.
My taste tester.
Make sure that none of my enemies are poisoning.
Oh, God.
It makes it slightly better that she wasn't there.
No, no, no.
She helped me set up my itinerary the whole way.
So she set me up with the reservation.
She was like, you got to go here, here, here.
This place is, it's world famous for their burger.
I'm not just saying, like, oh, it's the best burger I've ever had.
Next episode.
A wah, a wa.
Wawa.
Wawa?
Wawa burger?
Oh, my God.
Just eat it now.
That's good.
Another pound.
I mean, guys, like, we got to go.
We got to go.
The burger, it makes my mouth water thinking about it.
What came on the side?
Are those your...
We got bravos potatoes, which are, like, their version of French with little, like, pyramid
cubes with, like, sour cream and, like, a little...
hot sauce.
I like Bravo's potatoes, but I really like Bravo's Project Runway.
Yes, bitch.
Yes, bitch.
Bravo's potatoes.
I liked it.
Was that the best meal you had?
I hated it.
No, I was looking at the burger. I was looking at the burger. I wasn't a bad joke.
Is that your assistant doing? Did you send her ahead of time to taste test it? And did take pictures like that? Go now. That burger. Send me a picture back. I just ate at Fat Rani's across the street. Also, very good. I'm not saying it's Barbados or whatever the fuck. I'm just saying it's good.
I mean, this shit was like, I mean, it's fucking crazy.
It was, the best burger by far.
Yeah, Patel likes it.
Yeah, scanned past it.
Wow.
It's a, uh, yeah.
That fun does, it looks like a donut.
Dude, it's fucking crazy.
It's literally three ingredients.
They're, they pride themselves.
They're like, it's three ingredients.
That's it.
So if you tried to add anything, they get mad?
They don't add anything.
No.
I can't put ketchup my burger?
No.
Thank you.
People would fucking, people would murder you.
People would start fucking.
All I want to see now is a joke out there and be like,
can I put ketchup?
Has got any Heinz?
He doesn't even shake it first, so the water, like the liquid comes out first?
He's got the diner one?
Yeah, we're just fucking...
The idea that you think I don't shake ketchup is insulting.
That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me.
Well, I know ketchup.
I don't know if that was the best meat.
I mean, I went to three separate, three Michelin Star restaurants.
I mean, it was like...
I wish we were separate right now.
Why are you guys mad that I fucking...
We went on a food eating tour.
I know, just the Michelin Star and the assistant and...
What's your problem?
I don't know.
I can't talk about the doc.
I'm living with you.
My life is with Lewis.
I'm with Lewis eight hours a day.
What was my line?
Tell me what.
It's when Angelina comes out in the old black leather and you go, you dress like a Michelin tire.
Very funny.
This is, it's going to be epic.
I know we're not allowed to talk about it.
I'm not allowed to talk about it.
I'm spending my whole days with Lewis.
Is it going to be ready by Skagfest?
At least a cut?
There's going to be a cut of it.
But yeah, it's not.
It won't be done.
It's not going to be great.
Once you cut into three parts and try to sell it at Netflix is one of these three-part documents.
I will, but I got a lot of time.
I'll have Lewis doing one of those where it sits down in an empty chair.
They do that net foot, docking.
The talking head.
And the drone.
Yeah.
A blurry background of lights.
Are we going to talk about the incident?
But yeah, I mean, the food was like the whole trip.
What's the best meal you had there?
I mean, there was a place called La Sarte.
We went to, we got a private room called, it's called Emilione.
And they spring up above the kitchen.
Are you a drug dealer?
Yeah.
How do you get private room?
You guys, you have to pay.
I, I brought my pet panther.
Now, of course, I'd pull up in my white Lamborghini.
I hand the valet my gold.
I had the boss boy cut his finger off from my gold AK-47.
I'm wearing a chain with a little bit of gold.
I've got to invent a game show.
That's it.
Story Wars, Kill Tony.
These guys are killing it.
Yeah, we're doing good.
I'm going to come up with something.
So, no, but it's called Emilione.
It's fucking, I mean, incredible.
Did you have to dress up?
Did you have a suit on?
We're not a suit.
Like a button down?
Button down pants, shoes.
but it was above the kitchen
and you got to watch
like it was like a show
they did senses visual
so the window was smoked
and then it would come unsmoked
and then the whole staff is waving at
just me and Jane
they brought us over here legally
we're actually
Mexicans back on Spain
they went the wrong way
but it's like super light
it goes smoked and unsmoked
there's missing one guy
turns out they just took my wife
so what does that cost
set up in the smoking room.
I think it was like
that was the most expensive.
29.99.
No, it was 400 each to sit
in the regular restaurant.
Wow.
Then it was another 600 for the private room.
There was another 400 for the wine pairing.
What the f that's more expensive than Noma
that me and Arii went to.
It was like the best restaurant in the world for five years.
That's crazy.
Martin Barrett Tesegi.
Of course.
Was it?
I went to Martin Baxteri actually in San Sebastian as well.
That was in Barcelona.
Salona, so I went to two of his restaurants.
You gotta go to Marty bags.
That's my guy.
I'm over there.
He's fucking give me a little fucking pizza.
This is wild.
Yeah, it was, I mean, incredible.
How fucking rich are you, dog?
Yeah, dude.
Huh?
Yeah.
You're going to a private room in a Michelin Star where they...
You spent $2,000.
That would be my whole vacation budget.
Where the kitchen has to stop and wave at you.
Yeah.
They go wave at them.
These guys are, and I mean this all, except for Bobby, all these guys are richer than me.
Okay?
And they're acting like, yet, you are definitely richer than me.
Unquestion. You make more on the road than I make collectively with everything that I do.
I don't own a home. I don't know. I'm rich with you inside.
Bobby's house is on. Your blood is richer than ours.
That's pretty good. That was good. That was good. I got stepped out a little bit, but those are, that's all right. That's like I can take it.
When you eat, like, do they watch you eat? Like you said, it's like an immersive experience.
You've been to a nice restaurant. Yeah. Not this kind where they fucking do the whole, I don't have.
I don't have it. And this was the smoke. I've been a nice restaurants, but I don't have a smoke. Can I just say something real quick? He says he's richer than me.
I also have a wife and a kid.
I live with my...
If I was single bob with what I'm doing,
I would be able to go to his little...
I would have to pay my fucking exes.
Your girlfriend has a job.
All my...
I have to pay all my ex's bills.
And I have a job.
You still pay for all that?
I pay a lot.
Child support.
He said all.
Then he went a lot.
Well, not all.
I mean, I pay more than all over rent.
But then you're acting like I'm an asshole.
I've never been to a kitchen
where I go to a private room.
Because you're in every man.
You don't like that fun.
Like, for me, that's an experience.
that I want to like, I paid for an experience
that you can literally do probably once or twice
in your life. And if you're going to go
to the, you know, a country that's designed
for Michelin Star eating, in San Sebastian,
there are more Michelin Star restaurants
per square meter than anywhere else in the world. I figured out
what Michelin Star is what they actually mean.
I do too. If they have one star, it means like, you want
to go, it's amazing, excellent cooking.
Two stars, it's like, no, no, no, like this is like
bullshit aside, like a higher level.
Three stars means you should visit
the country just to go to this
restaurant. What about four? There is no system.
Is that the highest that goes to three?
There was a chef who killed himself
because the pressure of keeping his three Michelin stars
he got to him so much that he actually killed himself.
They made a movie about him. Stavros is in it.
I'll take the bomb, Dino.
Anthony Bourdain is a chef who killed himself.
There's a movie and Stabros is in it.
So I thought you guys would connect that.
I gave it a.
How about this?
By the way, side topic.
Stavros Halkius is very low.
likely going to be in the best picture
nominee two years in a row.
Well, Bologna was.
Yes. Tony is?
Tony's got all kinds of heat and business. They're all
talking about it. It's buzzing big.
Bologna was awesome.
I had some problems with it.
This fucking guy. Can't enjoy
a fucking movie where your head, where your friend's head
gets hit in. I mean, I enjoyed it.
I had some issue. What was the issue with Bologna?
It was a weird fucking kind of hard. Is that a town
where you could eat bugs?
No.
You're an asshole.
Yeah, you're a dick.
You're a good.
The boogie top.
You're a good friend and a bad person.
You know where he got him now?
Lewis did the evil fucking finger.
That's what got me.
I thought I was going to point guard him to go back to me eating bugs in Jamaica.
It was like I had my gun to him and I was about to shoot him and then you were like,
hold it right there.
I was like, ah.
I put the flour in it.
By the way, I've been eating for eight days straight, nothing but bread, nothing but rice.
I'm fucking literally thinner than I was before I left.
Oh, that's a lot.
The world's going to turn on you real quick
and just make you your wake up fat.
I know.
Now I'm like, do we need to figure something out.
The carbs here are fucking crazy.
It's crazy.
Oh, you mean you're having Europe carbs and it hasn't hurt?
Yeah, it doesn't.
They don't put anything in their food.
It's just illegal.
I know.
It's illegal to put like a rich.
By the way, this is like a controversial thing.
There's going to be fans that are listening.
They're going to go, dude, it's because you were fucking walking.
Walking doesn't make you lose fucking weight if you exercise regularly.
Walking is fucking walking.
I did a month in Europe with Louis and I did.
didn't gain weight and I and I was at my fattest.
Yeah.
I mean, I didn't.
I was too full.
You hit the max.
You said, dude, I got on the scale and they said tapped out.
They said, get off.
I didn't gain.
I didn't gain a fucking pound.
A pound.
Yeah.
And I was nervous because I was coming back.
A week later, I was having my surgery the week I got back.
And the doctor was like, you cannot.
You got to bring you B and in.
In Europe, I ate like a fucking, like I've never eaten.
And nonstop pasta and bread.
No, I did.
I was in Rome and Milan.
for four days. I had pasta
for breakfast one morning. I fucking
ate my face off.
Explain to me the science. I want to hear
the fucking comedians. I don't know.
I don't know the science, but it's
the process. We process our carbs on a
different way. It's corn syrup,
corn starch, enriched flour.
We fucked with everything for the profit.
They don't do, like he said, there's
three ingredients. You can get
pasta here with
like two ingredients or three ingredients.
But the pasta, if you look at our pasta is like
six.
ingredients. It says enriched. Enriched is poor shit. Also, like, the meat, if you go to, like,
if you go to Canada and you get a steak, the steak is always better because there's no chemicals
in their beef. So, like, the way they raise their cattle, they're not trying to, it's what he said.
You get a chicken over there? It's like a chicken. It's not as fat. The thing that fucked me up
was when I went over to England and had chocolate for the first time. And I was like,
you know, what the fuck is this? Sugar. It was shit. Yeah, they go, that's poop.
A horse just walked away and you grabbed a handful of poop.
I go, like, what the fuck is this?
I go, this is so good.
I love it.
Mine, I don't mean to be a bit of a diana, but you're eating shit.
Shit, mate.
You're eating shit.
You're eating dung, mate.
What's this?
It's fucking fresh.
He goes, oh, God, but I remember having that and be like, this is so good.
And they're like, yeah, your chocolate is.
Because it's milk and sugar in it, which makes chocolate awesome.
Yeah.
And we don't put sugar in it.
Yeah, the enriched flour is.
is a big part of it.
A lot of people call me Enrich.
Can I stop?
Whoa.
Bonnie Enrich.
I feel like we're a little against him
on that one.
I know what it was?
Nobody smiled.
He liked it too much before we liked it.
I looked away for Joe to shoot him.
Well, here's the problem is you guys said Enriched before.
I thought of it a full three beats too late,
and I was like, got to bring up the word enrich.
Oh, my God.
He really weren't trying to shoehorn that in there.
Would you guys say the flower was Enrich?
He literally did it and waited for applause.
I'm just also not familiar with that terminology.
Wow.
You're from Boston.
That's like you guys's third word.
Yeah, no, but it's the process food.
I'm telling you right now, like, I've gone to Italy twice now,
and I've gone to Spain once,
and every time I come back thinner than before I left,
and I eat so much.
If I go to Jamaica for an hour, I just, p.
Yeah.
Well, it's weird if you look at American fat people
and European fat people, it's a different type.
of fat they hold the weight different buddy you american fat is like 700 pounds yeah baby you don't
really see a european 700 pounder yeah you can't uh the other guys aren't here jo and i wanted to know
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This is something I was like, I don't know if I want to, and then I was like, good vibes?
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Let's get back to the show.
The beach in Barcelona
I mean first of all
Everyone's so hot like not just the
The men
Damn you came back bisexual
Dude there's there's just gay guys hot gay guys
Like everyone's naked
You don't gotta wear pants even
So there's hot chicks just fucking sitting there with their pussy's
James is like I'm gonna go on a walk to every day
He'd go on an hour long walk by himself
Every comes back different
Comes back with stubble
He comes back just like sucked out
Like dry like ugh
Is dad I need water?
Sucked out
That's fine I need water
I hit behind a row
Rock.
I'm dehydrated.
Sure, there's probably a lot of beautiful people.
When I went to the beach in French, I just saw one.
French, French, French dressing.
In French dressing?
Do you want French fries with that?
I saw one lady on the beach in France.
Topps and it was like whole coke.
Oh, there's some ugly old bitches.
Yeah, yeah.
I was just like, oh, shit.
You know what's so funny.
I saw her tits.
I went, oh, fuck.
If you ever look at fat people like naked,
women and men at a certain fat look exactly this.
Yeah.
She was just old and wrinkly.
Oh, there's a lot of, like,
old people or it's like an old dude with his like dick whoa yeah that was crazy my thing
I guess my thing wasn't even plugged in the whole time so um dude there was like all there's
a lot of old people and like just fucking saggy jo joe who you text him what's going on over here
i'm doing some research we're doing we're doing we're doing it all right he's doing the science
okay do the science so uh did you get naked no but if i was with my check i would have oh yeah
i've gone to a nude beach with my chick not this check but an old chick but like with her with
you would have made you want to get naked well she would have
gotten naked because she's fucking gorgeous.
And then I would be like, I'd be like, I'm going to be
hilarious right now and I'm going to get naked with my little Peter
and my fat ass. Excuse me.
You are with him.
What happened to you? You don't need to do that.
Baby, what happened to you?
I'd be like, can you kiss her, please?
Hey, you guys kiss.
Now maybe me and you kiss?
Now, if you're up for a...
There was hot gay guys just like on the beach, like
holding each other and canoodling and it didn't even
bother me. Canoodling?
Canoodling, dude.
If I, if I see two gay guys,
kissing the United States. It's like
watching like a horse starting to talk.
It's because there's more preservatives. Yeah.
Yeah. Wow.
Yeah. I wanted
to. I wanted to believe.
What are you saying that gay guys in
America is not as hot as gay guys
in Spain? No, gay guys in Spain are beautiful.
They're beautiful. Dude, it's crazy. Their bodies
are glistening. Like everyone looks like
Mateo Lane on the beach. It's fucking crazy.
With the American, Mattel Lane? Well,
he's Italian. He's American.
You see that photo Matteo put up of him in like a
G string.
Yeah.
And then he pulled his bummed.
It's my screen tape.
I made it a poster above my bed.
And I look at him and my wife's my...
I turned into an Advent calendar.
There's a certain fucking part of sexy when it just doesn't matter.
Holy shit, he's attractive.
I saw him in Chicago.
He was fucking incredible.
Yeah, he's the most talented person.
Yeah, it was wild.
So...
We did a whole episode on it.
But yeah, the...
Dude, the fucking...
God damn.
Every day we just ate.
And we went...
Pinchos, it's like the tapas and San Sebastian.
So you just walk around.
It's just eating culture.
You're walking around from, like,
place to place.
Just taking food off people's plates.
That's not how it works.
They go.
I don't speak Spanish.
Louis is just bussing the tables so he can eat.
Grosios.
They go, who is this man?
Who is this man?
Yeah.
But you are Lewis.
So was there any incident at all?
At the airport.
Yeah.
Full-fledged incident.
Getting there.
Getting there.
Getting there.
Getting there.
Getting off in Barcelona.
we got to the airport
and I was like through
I got through everything
and it was time to leave.
I was like,
where's the exit?
I was going to get a taxi.
And then I asked a guy
and I'd be like,
hey, do you know where the exit?
He's like, oh, you must go that way
and he told me to go that way
and then I go all the way that way.
There's no, I get a two guy on that way
and he's like, oh, no, no,
you have to go that way.
Then I go that way.
I get to the next guy.
I get to the same guy again.
Yeah, go on.
Go back that way.
He goes, he's coming your way.
He's right right back to me.
Got him right back to there.
I get back to the other guy, and he's like,
and then I'm doing this.
I'm going, I was like, I was like, yeah, I just went back and forth.
I was like, and then they do this immediate.
They're like, sir, come down.
Oh, boy.
You don't tell you to calm down.
And you're like, I don't want to hear fucking trinkilo.
I want to hear Exito.
You fucking dumb Spanish asshole.
Please.
So he tells me to go back.
We walked around for 35 minutes.
We were done.
We were ready to get a taxi.
At the airport.
At the airport trying to leave.
Are the people leaving?
You couldn't follow the people with.
There's one guy as well who's another guy who's, he's a Spanish guy, and he's like pouring
sweat.
He's like, they're not telling me where to go.
And I'm like, dude, I know.
We're getting each other worked up.
Kiss me.
Kiss me right here.
God, I love European homosexuality.
James is like, dude, dad, please come on.
And I'm like, no, this is fun.
I was like, how do they keep on telling us to go back and forth?
Finally, where we have to go, where we have to go, it's bonkers.
it's a door that says do not enter.
Exit.
Big X's do not enter.
X's on the floor.
Do not enter like you're going to go into a restricted area.
That's the enter sign.
In Europe, it looks like don't enter, I guess.
Did it say do not enter?
No, it was red X's on the doors, red dashes on the floors.
I got to put red X's.
There's a bowling alley.
Someone got three strikes in a row.
This guy interrupted my turkey.
Three in a row.
This fucking guy
coming over here
fucking my shit.
Yeah.
He goes,
there's a video
where the bowling pin
is JFK.
And then,
and then I saw,
then I was at the hotel
and on the last day
we were at the hotel in
Barcelona.
Another incident.
So there wasn't this one.
One of the employees comes out to me,
one of the wait-suff members
who's like,
did I see you in the airport
the other day?
That's really funny.
I was like,
I was like,
I was like,
I was like,
you know,
and then I tried
to explain to him
that there's exes on the floor.
He was like,
uh,
he goes,
stop yelling.
I'm trying to tell me, look.
Tranquilo.
You don't know, yeah.
My yelling's different than you're yelling.
It was fucking nuts.
But that was the only thing that like...
It's so funny.
The guy at the hotel's harm yelling.
The whole town talked about Lewis.
Because you're the guy.
He goes,
Ligeous gangs.
No, the guy from yelling at the hotel.
At the airport.
Airport.
Yeah, but it was, if you want, Bobby,
that's the thing to do with Max.
It's just the food is fucking...
I'm talking about a whole other way.
Dude, you gotta go by a thousand dollar meal
with your son.
I'm gonna do it with my dog.
dog.
I'm not doing that.
I just have it.
Just give him the burger.
Mernal the burger and smoked the window.
The burger was 10 euro.
Like the pinchos are two, three euro.
Like the pinchos are two or three, two three bucks.
The burger was 10 euro.
Would you say go there instead of Rome?
For food, yeah.
For the whole experience.
Me holding my dog.
Closer.
They're going to unsmoked the windows.
She's just like.
I have a stupid 49%
So what was the meal that was $1,000?
I mean, that was like a 15 or 14-course tasting menu.
They could just pull up Ilamiani tasting menu.
Do they do it where you eat it and they like rub your throat?
That was the best bite I had there, which was a croissant with like a gold truffle butter.
And they give us a can of a Cetra caviar each.
So we just scoop some caviar onto it.
You got a Starbucks croissant.
They're very good.
That was the best bite, I would say.
I mean, then I had a lot of, like...
Butter in Europe, you go.
It's crazy.
This is so good.
Do butter in Paris is the best...
That's what...
Butter in Paris is Bobby's rap song.
He goes, yeah, dude, I did a feature with Sideneck called Butter in Paris.
About me eating.
I would just walk and then stop and get butter and bread and a, like a coffee.
Dude.
And just fat eat bread.
I want to make fun.
You're so bad, but we did the same exact thing.
So good.
We just pull over and get bread and butter.
Why can't we make good fucking butter?
Why can't you fucking have good butter?
I don't know.
This is America.
You can find some good butter.
Where?
Type in French butter.
It's not the same.
It's not the same.
I don't, dude, I don't know what it is.
You can't get imported French butter?
Ah, you are eating shit.
All right, that shit again.
Mr. O'm, do you realize you are eating shit again?
I go, oh, it's all in heaven.
This is so there you got, yeah, Elmione is the one that I did,
which is the tasting menu.
I was it just you in was it just you and James we had a private you could do one where you're shared the table
That's kind of I'm not gonna lie dude that's sick that it's just you and your son doing yeah in a private room
That's fucking awesome looking like a business meeting and you know all the other people that were at shared tables are like
That the fuck is this guy here? Yeah no it was really I mean how much I got to ask how much did you tip
Uh they don't tip really you don't I ended up tipping a decent amount as I went around but I didn't tip at these restaurants you didn't no they don't do that you don't tip there oh you don't tip in Europe they're like hey we get paid
Yeah, but I still kept a bunch of cash.
Here's the thing.
When you go anywhere, and this is a tip,
somebody asked me for like a travel tip.
A tip tip tip tip.
Even when you fucking go to a place
where a tipic is not part of the culture,
throw a little bit of cat.
It goes such a long way.
When I went to that burger spot,
I threw him a 10 spot.
They acted like I was the fucking man.
Like, when I wanted to go get another beer,
they were like, you could just see
they would come right over to you
because nobody's tipping them at all.
And inversely, I would treat Europeans like shit
when I waited on them because I knew they were going to tip you.
Sometimes the Caribbean, like Aruba,
they'll put the tip on it.
Sure.
And then you'll tip,
but they won't tell you the tips.
So you got to look at the thing
because you'll wind up tipping like 50 bucks.
You go, ah, you're caught on to us,
Eden.
It's not a ruba.
It's not a Dutch owned.
Yeah, this was like, yeah,
I mean, everything was fucked.
$490.
Oh, yeah, that's just,
that's not even counting the tasting menu as well.
You get,
what was dessert?
Dessert.
They give you, they give you, like, three.
They gave you.
Ode to Coco.
Yeah, the nectar is the, the pear, almond, miso, and yuzu.
They got chocolate chip ice cream?
What was the best, what was the best dessert you got?
The best sweet.
The basque cheesecake.
What was it?
Basque cheesecake.
Just look up a bass cheesecake from.
They got it at Bass Pro Shop.
Wow.
I got it.
I liked it.
I liked it.
Excuse me.
After we do, after we do DeBessence, do you guys have any dino chicken nuggy?
Look up.
up the best bass cheesecake in
San Sebastian
B-A-S-Q-U-E
and I'm forgetting
the name, Lavinia.
Lavinia is a place.
Every place is like tight, like packed.
It's like a tight, tight bar.
What you're seeing the transformation
of Lewis Gomez?
I know.
He's turned into Louis.
He sounds like fucking.
It's the best cheesecake and basque
that you're ever going to have.
By the way, can I say this?
And this is going to upset, Lewis.
You got to see it when it gets cut, dude.
This is going to, you see me when I get cut.
This is going to make Lewis mad.
But if either one of it,
if you did.
this. You, Bobby Kelly, went on a trip
and you came back and you just said, hey,
look up this menu item. Look up this
thing. Lois would go, you fucking
homo, this sucks, bad podcasting.
The fans don't want to see it. 100%.
100%. No, we think it's interesting.
The difference is that I find it very interesting. I wouldn't
cry about you guys if you're bored with the topic.
If you're bored with the topic, welcome to
you know what, Google Image.
Look at everybody. Everybody look at it.
Especially you and your cars.
And I just stopped.
85% of the people watch the show.
Joe, real quick, Joe.
That looks pretty good.
It's crazy.
It looks amazing.
And people that are listening,
we're going to go look it up now.
Producers, can we confirm that 80% are views?
More than that.
Really?
Yeah, these days, old school podcasts,
like YKWD, lead you to skanks.
It's like 50-50 audio to...
I've never watched a podcast in my life.
Yeah, because you're old school.
You Tuesdays.
Presid source probably gets 40% audio still.
Yeah, we are.
still 50, we're like 50.
Story Wars is 90%.
This is why everyone thinks story wars
is so much bigger than Legion of Skanks,
but they're actually very close
in terms of how big they are.
Because it's obvious.
We have a way larger audio audio.
Story Wars is more of a TV show.
Yeah, it's like a TV show.
You need the visual.
But yeah, I mean, this is like,
we're talking about like, we went there twice.
We, I mean, it was fucking,
I mean, these are like widely regarded
as like world renowned, like.
But can I say,
that? Were you like, oh shit?
This is the best cheese kick I'm ever.
I'll show you videos later on,
like James trying it and being like,
what the,
the fuck is this?
Really?
Like it was like, yeah.
Like the burger and that were like two very special.
We went to Noma and it was like a 28-course meal.
Sure.
When we left, I was, we were both like, we're hungry.
Because it's little.
They're not, it's not like that meal that we're used to get.
You know, it's little tiny tastes.
Yeah.
And it's 28 of them, but they come, you know, separated.
Yeah, you had nachos and 28 bites.
Yeah, by the time you're done, you're like, do you want to go get a pizza?
You know what it's like?
So that's such an amazing.
Were you full?
Was it like a good?
I was perfectly full every day.
I was like,
I was never overly full.
I never,
you know when you fucking,
you're eating so much on vacation?
Yes.
You're farting and shitty.
Yes.
Constantly like,
in pain,
like stomach pain?
Yes.
Go side lay down on the fucking bed.
You say on vacation?
It was never that.
I ran on the beach three days.
Looking for guys.
Whoa,
looking for kisses.
Guys.
I just chased.
Get back, girl.
I want to see your asshole.
My son's sleeping for an hour.
Show me your red X.
I know that means enter.
So are we done with my wedding as a top?
Oh my God.
Wow.
We've also spoken of your wedding so many times.
That's true.
That's true.
All right.
Pull up a slice of pizza.
No, it's your anniversary.
What did you want to talk about your wedding?
No, I'm just joking.
What did you get Sarah for your anniversary?
This isn't going to be out for the next week, right?
So funny.
He was in Spain going to all these places in Michelin Star.
Me and Max were at the monster trucks in the middle of the woods.
Fuck, yeah, I saw your Instagram story.
Really?
Fucking sick.
Yeah.
One of the most redneck things I've ever done in my life.
Like, I've never.
Low-level monster trucks?
Buddy, I went to a rodeo and I was like, oh, this is some redneck shit.
Low-level monster trucks, I believe, is the Clu Klux Klan.
Let me tell you where I got my teeth cut on that was my stepdad Nick used to take me to low-level.
Low-level.
No, he would take me to low-level drag races.
Well, I did.
Funny cars.
Dude, I used to do that, too.
Funny?
Funny.
Yeah, like that's what they're called.
They're called like funny cars.
It's a funny car.
It's like a drag racing.
You have the long ones and then you have the fat ones.
You go to that.
You go to those and that's fucking that's a low-level.
My stepdad.
I love those.
I was drag racing on the beach in Spain.
You're a jag chasing.
Put on some lipstick and fucking went for it.
No, boys.
Yeah, that's some low.
I mean, I forgot when I used to go to the drag racing.
Yeah.
But low level, not the, not the high-level shit they show on TV.
You're talking.
at like a field. By the way, it's the same
as going to low-level professional wrestling.
But low-level professional wrestling
is still kind of, this was a little
like, who ripped that?
No, it's, of course.
That was a good fart, dude.
Thank you. Thanks, guys.
Low-level wrestling is pretty...
Yeah, like, they have no consent. They have one concessions
and, like, one guy working.
Hamburger sausage, a Coke,
and then beer, that's all they had. It's all
kind of the same thing. We're like,
it's depressing. Yeah, you're like, what is this?
I'm watching you practice.
Just like live your dream.
Yeah, every chick has a thigh tattoo.
Yeah.
And we actually got to ride in the back of one of the, they have a thing where you can,
if you get the VIP back, which is 30 bucks.
That's the,
Ill-Millione.
Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
That's the VIP room.
Because you can actually watch the driver smoke meth from the back of his truck.
I told Don, I go, dude, get VIP everything.
Don't fuck around.
She's like, all right.
And I go, do you get it?
She goes, yeah, it was only 30 bucks.
We got a VIP parking.
We just parked closer in the grass field.
I love that.
And then we got VIP.
We get to ride.
But there was,
the line was like an hour and a half long because everybody had VIP.
But I didn't think I was going to like getting in the back of this monster truck.
But, dude, as soon as the guy went down to dirt road and then he just started doing donuts, dude, everybody's
face was just fine.
That sounds fucking awesome.
That was pretty fucking wild.
We're going to go to, not that knockoffy, but the hot wheels.
Because there's monster jam is like the top.
That's grave digger.
And then hot wheels, yeah.
Yeah.
We had the grandson of Gravedigger.
Sick.
You have like the kids that are coming up.
You're Dave Bigger?
They have one car that's called Son of a Digger, and it makes me nervous saying it every time.
We went and saw Bigfoot, which is the original.
Yeah, that's the fucking, that's blue, golden real.
We didn't get any of them, though.
We didn't get any Bigfoot or we got like Sting.
Sling of Sting.
We saw him at Sullivan Tire in Rockland, Massachusetts.
He was just parked at Sullivan.
Sullivan. The Bigfoot.
The Bigfoot.
They go, you got a fucking shit kid.
So he's the first monster truck.
So we go there.
They had little autograph things.
And the guys in the thing.
He's big and fat now.
The driver.
It's the same drive.
So Bigfoot, like,
there's this multiple drivers.
So they essentially have leased out Bigfoot.
Is there more than one Bigfoot truck?
Yeah.
I think so.
Back in the 80s, there was one.
And then they just.
Yeah.
But when it became big, now they have a bunch.
So I'm talking to the guy.
And he goes, I was like, now I, and I know that Bigfoot's the first.
monster truck, but I'm being foxy. I was like, now I feel like Bigfoot is like the original
monster truck. And he got real CEO. He goes, no, he is. He is the original monster truck.
And I was like, oh, yeah, no, I know. And then he goes, and in 1997, Monster Jam came
Colin, and he refused to sell out. And he was like really prideful, but I'm like, well, he should
have because nobody under 40 has ever heard of Bigfoot. And Grave Diggers, the guy.
You want to go, that was his one opportunity. Yeah, that was a big fuck up.
I don't even know where you would go to see Bigfoot other than Sullivan higher. That was me not moving to
LA with Nate.
Yeah.
You go,
oh,
truckosaurus Rex didn't sell out.
You never win electric.
That was funny.
Yeah,
you go with Nate.
You'd be great right now.
Oh, my God, dude.
You'd be holding a Guinness Book of World Record sign with him.
Taking a picture.
You'd actually have hair.
Oh,
great.
Was Nate burned up about Shane's stadium record?
Does anyone got...
No, no.
Nate just got the World...
The Guinness record for the most tickets sold on a tour.
So they're both just neck and neck.
Just quietly hating each other.
I was going to get.
Katie has a Guinness Book of World Records,
and I was going to take a picture with it and be like...
Does she have a record?
Yeah, she had one. It got broke.
When she had her show on it.
Most Cox in one day.
Oh, come on, dude.
Why would you do that?
I'm sorry.
Come on, brother.
What the fuck?
Katie's sweet.
Dan, Dan, take that back.
You think Mateo doesn't have that record?
Not too broken, Joe.
Is it really Mateo or somebody else?
She did a thing on her show where she, like, did a bit where she would try to break
the, like, stupidest Guinness Book of World Records things,
and she did it by stacking donuts.
And then someone else beat it.
Bobby.
I know what you're going to say.
I was going to say.
Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.
I was waiting to beat that record.
Stacking seven donuts and women is nothing.
It feels so easy.
I got broke.
It got broke by another podcast.
But I'll break it right now.
Give me.
No, you are.
How many donuts is the world record now?
There's also like specific things you need to do.
Like you can't touch it.
It needs to sit for like a minute.
Look at him defending his girl.
You think he could eat six alt teens in a minute.
Might you defend your wife.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, I'll take your side over my wife.
you fucking queer.
Did you get married?
No.
I love the dance suck me in.
You fuck, right, Bob?
You're queer.
You fucking queer.
But I wanted to take a picture with her plaque, you know, and be like, for most half-sold
rooms.
I got to say, though, the monster.
It was fun.
Hell yeah.
I've never felt safer in my life.
And if you're patriotic, as soon as they went to the, sing the national anthem, I'm talking
the world shut down.
Yeah.
And everybody literally.
found that flag.
Oh,
it was one of the most patriotic things
even little kids.
Just stop being little kids
and just looked at the flag.
And they went,
I hope we're giving all our money to Israel.
Who here was to sing the Star Spangled
banner the best?
I can't.
I've done it publicly.
All right.
All right, little missed things.
Smash.
Let's see, you do the first line,
then Daniel took over the second line,
me third, then Bobby next.
Well, you probably don't know the whole words.
I know all the words.
You know all the words.
I know all the words.
I will say I don't know.
would not. I would be with you that I would
fuck up in the middle. There's a little
thing where I'm like, am I, can you give me...
Do you guys go bar for bar? No, bar for bar.
You versus Joe. Go. Let's go.
All right. Louis. She's shy.
Really loves this.
Oh, say, can you see?
Can I pause? That's a lot better than I was expecting.
Dude, dude, dude, he sings.
He's a theater. He's a fucking theater.
Yeah, he's a theater. Dude, he's, you forget it.
He did a musical with Jay.
By the dawns her,
I'm sorry.
What so proudly we hailed?
God bless America.
No.
You don't know the fucking word.
My home, sweet homo.
You just know the ends.
No, I know the words.
No, you know.
What's the next line?
No, say it again.
What?
Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light?
What's so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming.
Who's brought stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight?
That's where I get stuck.
Hold on.
What's so true.
Now stop it.
What was your line?
It's hard to do every other line.
Yeah.
Aeroless nights.
Fight.
No.
What the fuck was.
You're out.
You already said we don't know.
Don't try.
I know because they're doing it good and you want to get involved.
But the proudly we held.
And the rocket's red glare.
The bombs bursting in there.
Gave proof.
Through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wait?
Oh, the land of the free.
This is a big finish.
And the home of the...
Can we open up Gangfest with that?
Yeah, we did it last year.
We opened up Skang Fight and Timmy No Break sang it.
And then Yamanika did the next day.
But you two should sing it this year.
Yeah, do it.
We can't afford you two.
I liked it.
It's a great joke, but these two are too dumb to even get it.
No, dude.
Bono.
It was great.
You too.
It was a great joke.
Can we get another Starbucks round?
I had a...
And seven donuts?
You had a what?
I had a Bono on the beach.
Give me some more coffee.
I don't even get it.
A bono.
A boner.
Bono Bono.
No, just a regular coffee, a little bit of cream.
Do we want more coffee? No, just a regular coffee.
Well, I don't want the same. He said, do you want the same?
No, he said, do we want more coffee?
And then he said, do you want the same.
Joe, I didn't hear him saying that.
He did.
Are you sure you didn't talk over it?
Just a regular coffee, a little bit of cream, and a couple of pumps of sugar-free caramel.
I'll do the same thing, but a tall.
Please, Paco. Please.
And let's do plugs and let's Google image some stuff.
What time is it?
I don't know.
Are we an hour in?
We're an hour in?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
We're crushing it, boys.
Run it back.
Take me back.
Don't you ask me if I'm good, you fucking loser.
Huh?
Dance the drink back.
This fucking kid bugs me, dude.
What are you on the pay no mind list?
Yeah, I am.
He always has me on the fucking pay.
No money.
Comes to me on the road, guys.
Lewis of Skanks.com.
Back on the road, September 11th and 12th.
I will be in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
At the comedy bar, very excited.
Portland, Maine, right out.
After that, the 17th through 19th.
After that, I got Belmore, New York, Rochester, New York.
I'm not doing this Vancouver show.
I found out it's in a fucking Irish pub.
So if you guys both tickets, I'm sorry.
I'm canceling that.
Wait, what's the venue?
Oh, no.
I know a great Vancouver venue.
Yeah, well, can you book me?
Can I fire my fucking team instead?
Because they put me in a fucking Irish bar.
Oh, what did I do?
I did a bar that was fucking unbelievable.
Was it this?
No.
It was like the best show I've ever done in my life.
Portland, Oregon, North Charleston, and more.
Go to my website, Lewisofskanks.com, grab those tickets.
Sign up for my mailing list.
Get my bonus podcast, Lewis Journal, get inside access to all the things,
Skank Fest and Gas Digital.
Get those Skank Fest tickets.
We're almost sold out of all access tickets.
Now we got like 50 all access tickets left.
It's more all-access tickets than we've ever done in the past.
So once those go, those single-day passes are going to go very, very quickly.
We expect a complete sellout this year.
So do not wait.
Skankfest.com is the website.
All of the regs will be there doing two separate.
shows doing stand-up.
We got all the best podcasters and comedians
in the world.
And make sure you guys buy my book, knives, and spoons.
Hell yeah.
That's a crappy gas digital.
Use the promo code regs. Get the uncensored
ad-free version of the show.
Joe List.
Company mothership, September 4th,
and 6th. And then
where else? Royal Oak, Michigan. September
10, 11, 12. One of my favorite places.
That's the Comedy Castle.
And then I'm doing this big show in
Seabrook, New Hampshire, the Brook.
September 18th. And then Toronto, we added a show. September 24th, Performing Arts
and two shows. Unfortunately, Rochester, I had to reschedule. Tampa Side Split as October 1st
and 3rd. We all love that club. That's one of our favorite club. It's unbelievable.
V.T. I'm going to be great. Oh, you are? Fucking awesome. That's going to be great.
That's going to be great. And then Philadelphia, Helium, one of our best markets. We always do well there.
So make sure you come through on that one, October 22nd, 23rd, and 24th. And check out Tom Dustin, Portrait of a comedian.
It's changing lives that fucking film.
So go watch it, please.
Thank you.
Hey, everybody.
I'm going to be in Portland, Maine
at Empire Comedy Club,
September 10th through the 12th.
Early shows.
Already sold out.
All of them.
No, they're not.
Late shows aren't sold out.
I don't think that's true.
I literally, I said this to you last time,
and then I checked,
and they're marketing it as all of your shows being sold out.
That's crazy, because the number count
that I get from the club says that I'm not sold out.
Okay.
But that's, you know.
But don't get those things.
Come see me the next week.
But anyway, the point is.
Hartford Funny Bone, we can both agree.
You should come see me there.
Not sold out.
Not sold out.
Far from sold out.
It's a hard club to sell out.
But it's dad.
In the mall?
Yeah.
I'm going to be there September 17th through the 19th, Hartford,
Funny Bone five shows.
And then I'll be in Albuquerque at a new club called Kazadas.
What?
Cazetas.
October 2nd and 3rd.
Go get tickets for that if you live in Albuquerque in New Mexico.
Did you lose your agent?
Do you have my guy now?
What's happening with you?
I'm building a new hour.
I know.
I'm fucking wrong.
And then I was like, well, no.
He was promoting like the Fox Theater and the fucking, you know, the Pontoo.
Well, then we filmed the Netflix special and this is so I have an hour.
The Pontoonsie.
The Pontin Theater would actually be sick.
DanSoter.com for all live dates while I'm building this hour.
I've been having a fucking great time doing it.
Listen to Soter the podcast and PunchUp.
Dot Live, if you want to sign up for my mailing list to know when I'm coming to your town.
Dude.
Robert?
Hey, I'll go to punchup.
Dot live slash Robert Kelly for all my dates.
I'm going to be in Saratoga
On September 11th and 12th
Up in New York there's a festival up there
And then I'm doing one night
At the New Brooklyn Impro
Yeah, I've heard it's good
And I've heard the same thing
September 26th
And then I'm going to Port Charlotte
October 2nd and 3rd
To Versanis
And then I'm going back to Boston
October 16th and 17th
To Laugh Boston
And of course I'm going to be at
Lake Charles
I'm doing Lafayette
again. I love that guy down. Love those rooms.
And then we've got Skankfest, which I'm excited
about. So make sure you go to punchup.
Live slash Robert Kelly.
More dates are coming and being added
this week, actually. And check
out my podcast, YKWD,
the original fucking podcast.
Yeah. On the East Coast.
Lewis.
Yes, sir. Built More cabaret in Vancouver.
Yeah. It's a rock club.
It's fucking awesome. It's like
it caps at 300, but
if it's 80 people, it's fucking awesome. That'd be cool.
It was the best show I've ever done my life.
It's so funny, you've got to say that to us.
Dude, a cap's at 80?
They're good.
They got a curtain.
And they say they have a curtain.
Oh, I'll do it.
Dude.
By the way,
it's the best show I've ever done in my life.
I should invest in curtains.
I use curtains so much.
People don't realize how much that is on a venue where they go, okay, if this goes real bad,
they can still curtain it off and you have a great show and you go.
But the worst part is when you're back in the green room, you hear the curtain being wrong out.
Oh.
Can I just say the port in Baltimore is so fucking.
What a great job.
Oh yeah, I'm doing that suit.
You stay in the little haunted hotel?
No, I stayed at the Hyatt.
You're walking to-
stay in the haunted hotel.
No, I want to jerk off.
No, you can jerk off with a ghost.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
I was in the lobby.
I was in the lobby and I go to the front,
I go, is this place really haunted?
Ladies, I went, yes, it is.
Yeah.
The room is not available.
Someone's in it now, but, you know, I can see if it's
opening up.
I was like, no, I'm good.
I was in the lobby late at night,
just hanging out.
I was going to go get some food.
And they have an automatic door
that only opens when someone goes in front of it,
and the door just went,
foom, fom, and I looked at her, she went,
because you know what, how matter of fact they are
when I was checking in that hotel,
I was like, they were doing the thing,
and I was like looking at the pictures on the wall,
and I go, ha, this looks like the kind of place
that's real haunted, and she goes,
it's very haunted.
Yeah, I got to get some adult friends.
Come on.
Those aren't real, guys.
Grow up.
Jesus Christ.
All right, sorry, Bobby and I have a little joie de vivre.
Guadav.
He ate that in Spain.
for a thousand bucks.
Can we turn off the air right now?
It's freezing.
No.
My body's so cold.
It's the ghost of fucking...
The air's not on.
Joe's gonna doubt this and then he's gonna become a ghost and then he's gonna hate it.
And you're gonna say I'm gonna die?
Well, eventually.
Not for you.
Don't even start a fucking reg.
We've already done it.
We've done it all.
We've done it.
Podcasting has to come to an end.
It's gone to soon.
We had enough.
Because I think there's ideas like story wars that are like the next evolution.
of it where it becomes like a game show
mixed with a podcast. You can't just have
we're, look, we're grandfathered in to
four guys sitting around a microphone talking.
But you can't start this now, unless you're really
famous. Like, like Amy Poehler can start
this podcast. But also, do you remember when
all the news or the late night
guys tried doing it and it bombed?
Of course. They were like, no one gets you. But I think it bombed
for their standard. I think they wouldn't be okay. Oh, it bombed
like numbers. Really? Yeah, yeah.
To hide their numbers.
I quote that all the time and no one else.
talk about. What is it? That's Kevin
Spacey doing Walter Mathau
for the screen test of Star Wars on SNL.
Which I still contend that that's the
funny contest, contend, whatever, the funniest
thing SNLs ever done was that. He goes, we were meant to
believe they were. Star Wars
auditions. They walk in single file
to hide their numbers. Hey, what's
this picture about? And he goes,
it's a movie about a wonderful space
force. And he goes, I'll be in my trailer.
The one that makes me laugh is Daryl Hammond is Richard
Dr. Yeah, it's the greatest. He goes, I'm sorry,
who's under the, this is for C3PO?
I'm sorry, who's under the mask?
He goes, it's Richard Dreyfus.
I was in Johns.
He goes, evaporators, sir, my programming is, I don't need this.
I was in John.
I told you, he didn't want to wear the damn mask.
I'm sorry, who's under the mask?
It's Richard Dreyfus.
And Will Ferrell's the casting director.
He's such a perfect straight man.
It's like unbelievably funny.
They're all on YouTube.
And when Norm MacDonald does Bert Reynolds,
does Darth Vader. And he goes,
oh, Lord Vader, you are a religious.
is an archaic one.
He goes,
why me to go over there and choke him?
He goes, no, you're going to choke him with your mind.
He goes, yeah, I got a question.
Got a car's a sky drive.
Also, Kevin's basically this Walthermouth
that was a golf club.
He's just got the whole time.
We were meant to believe.
That's the best SNL sketch.
All right, gentlemen,
let's hear a quick moment
and talk about GLD.
I love GLD, dude.
I didn't care about jewelry at all
because I'm not a woman
or a Joe list, as we call them.
I've never worn a single piece of jewelry in my life.
I've never seen a piece of jewelry on them.
Literally.
Well, now you do because you love GLD.
I don't even have a wedding bag.
Get that's your list trip.
No watch, no necklace, no earrings.
I am a ginso.
I love a necklace or a bracelet.
I want a thick bracelet.
I was calling you gay.
Oh, I see.
They should only advertise with Rich Voss only, by the way.
Yeah, have him jingle, jangle into the studio.
I love it.
Well, you want to get people with a following.
Wow.
So look, I'll tell you right now, genuinely incredible stuff.
Real Gold.
in every single piece. You can feel the quality
and the difference. It really is great. I had my Cuban links. I was in Spain with my
son the whole week rocking my Cuban links. The amount of looks
that I was getting from Moroccan vagrants, like they sort of following us
to the streets. They thought it was like some high quality, thousands and thousands of dollars.
I didn't spend that much money. They said it to be for free, but even if I bought it,
it wouldn't be that much money. Whether it's a simple piece, something a little louder,
or even your own design from the GLD custom shop, you're going to find something you love.
Every GLD product comes with a lifetime warranty. It's an heirloom piece
you'll have forever. Tell them how to do it. Somebody.
Dan.
For a limited time, new customers
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That's 40% off with the code regs
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After your purchase, I don't ask where you heard about
them. Let them know that
we sent you. Time to lock in
and upgrade your style this summer with
GLD. All right, gentlemen, let's talk quickly about
body brain coffee. My company that I started over
a year ago taking the
functional coffee world by storm
it's great
support your testosterone naturally it has an ingredient
that help with brain function and mood and overall
but I want to talk right now about the creamer Bobby which I know you love
cream
Robert creamer famous can I be honest
for you please I really don't like a powdered cream
I don't use it and I did I just
but your powdered cream dude
in the body brain
tastes fantastic yeah a lot of people don't like that
they get turned off by a powdered creamer
I go what is this truck stop
But no, it's really, we use C8 MCT oil.
Say that five times real fast.
C8 MCT oil, C8 MCT oil, C8 MCT oil, C8 MCT oil, and coconut milk powder as a base, which
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Then we got rodeola rosea.
We got quarter-step mushrooms, collagen peptides, a little bit of salon cinnamon.
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All right, where we see.
It is hot in here.
It gets hot quick.
It's not even close to hot in here.
It feels beautiful, right?
You're listening.
Yeah, yeah.
You're coming from the beaches of Espagna.
So nice, dude.
Just being hot, sweating while you're walking around in Barcelona.
You don't even care.
You're like, oh, this is the way you're fucking...
It's beautiful.
Now, let me ask you this.
I know you're in love, and maybe she listens.
If you had met a hot dame out there,
would you have been tempted?
He's trying to fuck guys in the beach.
You think it would be tempted with a chick?
Just so you know.
I would have cheated.
Damn, you put her on notice, right to camera.
No, obviously, no.
I'm like, I'm way in.
You're right?
The bug thinks I'm lying.
He's like, okay.
Oh, we got a lie about you.
This fucking guy.
This guy won't do it.
Damn, I thought you almost got that.
For the first time of your life, Faith.
Yeah, look at this guy.
This fucking bug is losing his mind.
James talked a big game about trying to, like,
meet the love of his life and kiss her on the beach.
And then every time we saw, like, I'm like,
oh, there's a cute chick over there, James.
Who wants you to talk to her?
He's like, no, dude.
And then I try to talk to their mom.
And he was like, dad, it's on hold of their mom.
I'm fucking, your kid rules because I know exactly that energy.
That's because when I did see my dad,
that was always his energy.
He's like, look at that girl.
Go talk to her, dude.
It's like you once want to give him some confidence.
Shut up, man.
He's like, how about we build our relationship?
Well, I'm like, he's the thing I'm telling him.
I'm like, dude, I was like, now's the time.
You're never going to see these girls again.
I was like, if you want to, like, talk to girls, it's like, who gives a shit?
Right.
Like, literally just like let go and like just started.
And I'm also, when I'm on vacation, I'm like, I'm like super friendly with everybody.
Sure.
So like, if I'm online for food, like, except an airport exit me, well, don't fucking
tell me to tell me to come down.
It's crazy.
Don't say, comment.
But if I'm next to you online, like,
I'm like, oh, where you from?
Fucking, you know, you start talking to them.
You start talking to these people.
I'm very, like, social with, like, people around me.
But that being a teenage boy and being on vacation with a parent and looking for chicks is the most fun.
When I was in seventh grade, McDaniel's mom and stepdad went to Vegas and I got to go with him.
And so, like, ran around Vegas trying to meet girls that were, like, 12.
It was so fun.
I know.
It was so fun.
We were just being, like, MGM Grand, and there'd be, like, two girls with their family.
And we'd be like, hey!
And, like, McDaniel's, like, good with girls.
so he would go talk to him.
He'd get in Max there, dude.
If Max was there,
I would have been picking up girls on the beach.
I'm telling you right now.
Max is right now on a date.
Right now during the day?
Yeah.
What's the guy's name?
Frank.
He,
he,
the mom had to call Dawn and talk to
because I was like,
I got to know the parents.
I can't.
Yeah.
We've got to talk to somebody.
Sure.
He's just late to go to a house.
And, yeah, he's on a date right now.
What's the girl's mom's name, Dusk?
till Don
Dusk and Don
We got it
He's already
That's the best part
You just got annoyed
Him like you got annoyed at a dog
That's barking
You go
Yeah I know
Okay
Mighty Dusk
Yeah he's
It's weird though
It's
We're going through the same thing
Where
Dust Dusk goose
Our kids are becoming
You son of a bitch
You kept going
To you hit home
It's weird
When your kids
It's the dawn
Of a new era
Stop
Like a teenager
And they start
to get independent.
Yeah.
Do they, and they're, but they're slowly going, what they're doing is they're slowly going
away from us.
Have you, they're slowly starting to, I woke up, we got, he was up in New Hampshire for a month
and a half, we got back Sunday.
Monday morning I woke up.
He made coffee and he's like, yeah, I'm going out.
I go, where are you going?
He goes, going for a ride with Griffin, his friend Griffin.
And I'm like, where are you going?
He goes, oh, no, he's going to drive around.
I was like, oh, okay.
What the fuck is Griffin?
He's a friend of his.
He's a lion.
mixed with his way.
Griffin Dunn,
the actor.
The 16-year-old friend,
yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
they were all like dirt-bite guys.
I don't know that I'd let my son go driving around with the sick.
Because the 16 or 17-year-old were like,
like,
yeah,
but you also have to understand by their age,
both of us were feral animals.
We,
I mean, it wouldn't matter when I was that age,
I would fucking,
I was hitchhiking.
I was,
that's what I mean.
When we were like,
when Bobby was sober.
I just,
Bobby was sober.
Sobered 50,
not 13.
16.
I'm saying you were living a life.
They're looking at drugs and alcohol and like that would just be my concern.
No, I understand.
A 16-year-old that's the ones hang out with a 13-year-old I would think is weird.
Why are you hanging out with my 13-year-old?
As soon as we met the guy, we've had him over, we've talked to him, I know this.
He's not telling you that he's molesting your son.
No, he did.
And I was like, listen, just be gentle.
Be gentle.
You're going to give him a lot of character.
You're driving around?
Driving around's weird.
It's a weird.
It's just a weird thing that it's, he's, he's,
Everything he does now, he's slowly just going away.
And there's going to be a point, even this year, he was like,
hey, do we have to go to New Hampshire for the whole summer?
And I was like, I don't know.
But his friends are there.
He wants to be with his friends.
He wants to fucking go.
They have like a dirt bike track that they all ride on the shit.
There becomes a point where you just go like, and you, you know, and you remember it.
You're a kid and you go, I don't want to do that shit with my parents.
Even if you like your parents, you're just like, I don't want to find this point.
I've always wanted to do something with a parent.
Really?
I always longed for parents
Yeah, I've always longed for parents
I think it was just because it was me and my mom
I was always like yeah I'm good
Can I fucking have some space?
Like I never
Go on fit dude
Especially once my dad died
I was just kind of like
I'm on my own let me just fucking
Well it's weird too because Max is becoming
Pretending he's beside me
Max is becoming like adult funny now
Like making me laugh like as comic laugh
Yeah
We went fishing and then I was coming
I go we gotta go
I had a shit
Real bad.
And we had like a half hour.
I'm like, dude, I might poop my pants.
And he just started laughing.
He's like, oh, I hope you do.
I'm like, what?
I go, dude, I'm, he's like, please he goes, please God,
make dad poop his pants right now.
And I'm like, dude, shut up.
And then he started touching my stomach.
And he's cracking up.
And I was cracking up.
He was just making me laugh.
Well, he was high from Griffin's.
From smoking methamines with Griffith.
Oh, dude.
Old regular Max doesn't make me laugh at all.
High Max?
He kills me.
The doors are playing.
He's like, what's up, dad?
I was taking a ride.
It's all right.
I need the coffee to balance me out.
The crystal ship is being...
Yeah, but like when he's like, I'm going out
or he's going to go do something, it's like...
It's like, I told Don, I go, do we say not...
What do we...
Do we not let him go out?
With a 16...
Is he 16?
Yeah.
I'd say no.
He's got a firebird with T-tops.
You got to let him go.
I mean, are you sure...
Are you going for a ride?
I'm getting more defensive for Max and you are.
You sure this is a good kid.
Yeah.
Like, not like, uh, like he doesn't do any drugs.
He's not into, like, fighting.
He's not into drinking.
I, I know.
He has one small tattoo.
He doesn't give, like, he's just going to give me.
If he does that type of shit, you're,
no, they're just, they're all into dirt bike stuff.
Uh, they're all dirt bike guys.
Dirt bike culture is pretty crazy.
And, uh, and, uh, and, and, and, yeah, we, we've met the kids.
I, you can never, doing blow.
Yeah, but you can't.
Yeah.
You can't be sure of any of it.
Sure.
You can't be sure of it.
Sure.
And I can't control it.
I can control all of it.
And then he's still going to go away and do shit later.
I mean, it's eventually going to happen.
You know what I mean?
No.
But it's fine.
You can say what you want and do what you want with your kid.
My kid is a little more independent.
You know, my kid will go down to the beach and fish by himself.
and he'll, you know, he'll go out at night
and walking into the fucking woods.
Probably's like, and he's got, you know,
he's got his list of enemies,
and he's got his little,
he's got his diary where he says
he's going to hurt everybody, but then.
He's like, sometimes my kid will,
he'll carve names into bullets.
I mean, that's what he does.
Yeah, dude, he's got a manifesto, dude.
He knows what he wants the world to be.
Why?
James is a little more soft than that.
And, dude, he's not the Eric Harris.
He's the Dylan Klebold, you know?
And, yeah, James is more soft.
He's a good kid.
He's not hanging out with fucking Cliff in the woods doing meth.
Cliff.
I'd never let him hang out with Cliff.
Cliff is a bad guy.
That's so funny.
You go, that's pretty cool.
You guys went to a private tasting.
My kid's smoking blue leg meth doing backflips on fucking dirt like.
But who would you rather have?
My kid's going to be at a fucking monster truck show on that.
Yeah, dude, that's fucking so funny.
Just being like, who's Griffin?
I'm like, no, no, no, get Griffin in here.
Yeah.
But at this age, you've already spent,
The majority of the time you're going to spend with him.
Well, yeah, statistically, yeah.
You're, you're...
If you're my dad, you're fucking way past.
You're fucking...
My, dude, my fucking kid, you know, I couldn't imagine him not one and hang.
I mean, like, he's getting more independent.
Like, he goes to his room and he talks...
You're both...
Yeah, but you don't live with him.
You're away from him a lot.
You're half time.
No, you're not.
Half the time, you're not.
Can I...
He lives with me half the time.
Yeah, half.
I live with him full.
So he is making...
Every fucking day.
He's making a good point of...
I'm with him.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Yeah.
The days he's not around you, he's probably like, oh, if dad was here, I'd tell him this.
He's got Max, when Max and Bobby are both having a bad day, it's like, we can't fucking go anyway.
There's every fucking damn with her and him every single day.
Which is fine, but it's just a different thing.
But it's daunting.
That's fun.
I liked it.
It took me a while.
Dawn is her name.
Hey, it took me a while.
I know you're jiggling and you're like, it took me a while.
I really liked that.
Jacked up on caffeine.
I really liked that, though.
Yeah, I mean, James is excited about a cheesecake,
and Max was excited that we got accepted for a silencer on our fucking rifle.
I got my gun license.
Oh, God.
I just got my silencer permit.
I went shooting in Baltimore.
Can you put it on now?
He's back.
I had a fucking hell of a time shooting guns on fucking Friday.
Why?
Why?
Yeah.
Why did I have fun?
A hell of a good time.
Oh, I had a blast.
What did you do?
I went shot guns in Bulls on.
Baltimore. Actually, right next to Magubis.
There's no shooting range. They have a great, what is it called?
Indoor, right? Yeah, it's two doors
down from Moogubis. Yeah. It's in the same
complex. My friend owns a gun
in the shooties. In Baltimore, that
is like the biggest best
indoor gun rage in the country.
Oh. Next time you go there.
That was funny. Yeah, I'll tell me because
my buddy does has guns. They have a cigar
lounge in there. They have food.
Actually, I know I have a friend who is
the biggest best one, actually. It's a little bit bigger
and better. Can I call you? Yeah, but mine, they
I actually found that out, and then they made another range.
Well, no, they made an annex on my friends.
Yeah.
Because they heard about that.
But after they made that annex, they added a garage space with, like, food trucks.
Can I tell you who's really going to benefit from all this?
Me?
Because I'm going to shoot at both places.
Yeah, I got my gun license.
I got to go buy a gun now.
But what gun?
Not a handgun, a long gun, right?
No handgun.
Oh, you get a handgun.
Yeah.
I'll tell you.
Two handguns.
I'll tell you what gun to get.
What gun should you get?
And two feet guns.
I mean, the gun that I love the most.
For protection.
Please.
It's not a crazy gun.
It's just a Mexican-Western 3-80 easy.
And because it's safer.
That was you.
3-80-Easy.
God, damn it, dude.
I was going to say that was you in 80.
Oh, God, dude.
You were 3-80 easy.
God, damn it, Joe.
You got there before I did.
God, dude.
I'm heating up.
Can I just say one?
We're going to Joe,
an hour 20 minutes.
By the way, that was no room.
That was no room.
That was no room.
He should get a non-banded-banned,
for that one. Yeah, he gets to get out of bomb free.
You get one. That was a fucking goal.
That was clean. It has
a safety, but then you can't
when you squeat, it has a safety on the handle too.
It's really good. I mean, the
380 isn't going to. I'm going to go to a gun shop
and I'm going to arrange and I'm going to talk
them about what I'm best to shoot with.
Yeah. Because I'm, like, with a revolver, it's
hilarious, dude. Like, I shot
a revolver in Texas and I fucking
dude, I was like trying to shoot it. It was like,
you know, I don't know what a fucking 20 meters or
whatever. I was like, oh, fuck, I'm not hitting anything.
I brought it, I kept them bringing it closer.
It was like here, dude.
That's so funny.
20 yards.
Someone breaks into your house and they're just walking towards you and you go, oh, dude, son of a
way.
Wait, so revolvers.
It's me the distance to the wall.
I didn't hit it once.
They don't shoot as well?
Is that the thing with revolvers?
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I have no idea why I can't.
You're just a shit shot.
I'm a shit shot.
With the Glock, I can fucking bang, bang, bang.
Something about my Colorado blood.
Yeah.
I just feel it.
Revolver.
It was, it was comical.
It was like I had a fucking.
Tarantino.
Oh, Divide intervention.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I get a, get a, a, a nine millimeter.
Yeah, nine millimeter.
Nine millimeter.
I got a Sig nine millimeter, which is fuck,
with the red dot on it and the flashlight.
Dude, Des has this thing where you put your gun in a shoulder thing,
like a holster with a red,
and the accuracy of it was unbelievable.
Des Bishop?
No.
Des, my buddy.
He's not a comic.
Des Yarnese?
Yeah, he's like, Russe.
Yeah, he goes, you put this, the hang on.
in this, boom, boom, boom, boom,
you clip it out, and then they shoot,
hold the goal, put it against our roller.
But we shot a shotgun, that was fucking said.
Dude, me and Max go clay shooting.
We have, the range we're
a member of up there has a different
part of it that's just clay shooting.
And I bought one of those things that you put the clay,
and you hit the button, it shoots it up.
Fucking crack shot. That's fun.
Way better, but the shotgun clay shooting
is fucking hilarious. But we have a...
When they tell you, like when they
those shooting, he goes, don't push against
did it all let it because you just go
pah on you're like holy fuck yeah yeah it's fun
it's so shooting so fun it's really it really is fun
we have a 30 30-30 marlin
the lever action the john wayne gun sure
but it's tactical and I have the scope on it
and I just got I'm putting the silencer on the end of that
so it's just gonna shoot chit-ch it's just
oh fucking something about that is just great
that is part of you want someone to break into your house
no I mean if someone breaks into my tiny house I have eight guns
it's all guns they just sleep on guns
Any house, there's holes all.
This isn't even a, this isn't even a house.
It's just a gun closet.
Now, can I ask a dumb question?
If you have guns in your house with ammunition and your house catches fire,
does it have like a pit-d-d-d-d-bole?
Yeah.
Or is it fireproof safe?
No, the safe is-
I actually don't know the, I don't know.
The safe is fireproof.
Yeah, you should get, I mean, inside the safe, your guns and ammunition would be good, but I have.
Dude, the problem with-gun in the scene sounds crazy.
I want to get one of those, like, things where your fingerprint unlocks it.
I have something, listen, I have something that, I forget the name of it,
SafeBox, I think it's a company.
It's literally a box that you put in your draw or on top of your dresser,
and you set a combination so when you touch it,
you're fingers just do it like that.
You squeeze and it opens up.
Yeah, my laptop does that.
Yeah, my, well, the thing is, like, I'm not worried about James.
James isn't fucking, you know, smoking crack in the woods with Griffin Gore.
Max has to know how to shoot.
Other way, it just said fire, no gun safe is complete.
No, it's not, but it's safer than just...
If your guns catch, your bullets catch a fire, do they actually start shooting everywhere?
I would think so.
I mean, I think we, I've seen that happen in movies.
Yeah, but that's what I mean.
Movies I've watched them put a bullet around a corner by going like this.
I have so much ammunition, though.
Like, I have ammunition stored everywhere, because that's the thing.
You need ammunition.
You just throw it.
If you throw a complete live round of gun power, wait.
Yeah.
The gunpowder inside.
heats up and ignites.
However, because it is not inside a gun barrel,
the pressure cannot build up.
The brass casing usually splits open
or flies a short distance.
So still dangerous,
while the heavier bullet stays mostly in place
or moves only a few feet.
One of my favorite follows on Instagram
is the dude who shoots through things.
I haven't seen that.
What?
I haven't seen it.
I don't see him.
He's like, it's called Yee Life or something.
He goes through different calibers.
Yes.
And he was like, he's like,
today we got, we got,
we're going to see how many,
cast iron frying pants we can shoot through.
I love that.
And then he got like 22 and then he goes up to the
the Glock and then he goes to a revolver.
Desert Eagle. Send me this on Instagram.
He always ends with the 50 Cal. I need this.
It's so good. And he does it. He'll do everything
from Hillbuck. He was like, today we're going to see how many
best cheesecakes we can shoot through. But a
50 Cal, if it just goes by you, can kill you.
Dude, a 50 Cal is crazy. Every time the 50 Cal just
because he has a dummy behind it. He calls Fred.
And he's like, oh, we're going to see if Fred's going to be okay.
And so it was like, some guns like,
22, it'll be like, it'll shoot
like one notebook and then it stops it.
Yeah, 22 is.
And that's like what they,
they recommend if you're in a state
where you can get in trouble.
There's like certain states where if they,
like not a, um,
stand your ground,
but the opposite of like,
it's like a thing.
If they break into your house,
you can shoot them,
but if you kill them,
you also get in trouble.
Jersey is like that.
There's a lot of states like that.
It's a little bit,
it's a little bit less crazy than I thought.
When I first was looking into it,
or I first,
the third, hold them one second.
The first thing you would hear is that like,
oh,
if somebody comes in,
you have to prove that you're, you know, blocking to a room.
We talked about this, and it didn't make sense then.
And multiple people were like, that's wrong.
No, but it's close to right.
You can't just shoot somebody for entering your house.
You have to prove that your life was in danger.
There's something about...
But you don't have to, like, drag their body into a room with no windows.
The problem of being a gun guy is you have to know so much shit about law and...
If you ever talk to a gun guy, like, I just went to fill out the silence or stuff.
You have to, like, get fingerprinted and fill out all these forms.
And they were just talking, and I was just going, yeah.
Yeah, like I knew...
I don't know what F-14, 7-7s.
I mean, you know, you have to know so much shit about so much shit.
And every gun company, and they change guns every years and they change the laws every fucking month in every state.
So it's, it's a lot.
But we all agree there should be extreme background checks.
I'm going to tell you this, though, when I'm in New Hampshire, it's a carry state.
Yeah, you keep that bang on you?
To be able to walk around, I don't know what it is, but to put your gun on it, like my 380 or my 9 and carry it.
Yeah.
I don't do it.
I mean, I lived in Arizona for five years, so I saw that shit all the time.
It's something about it where you just feel cool shit.
Open carry states there are guys that really want you to know they have guns.
Dude, I was at a fair and the guy had fucking two guns on his.
Yeah, you go.
Dude, no, it was cool looking.
He was just walking around like, eh, and he just had two guys.
I was like, fuck.
The reason I wouldn't want to walk around like that is if just someone took it off me, I'd feel so stupid if I looked cool.
They do, he goes through it.
A 50 Cal is not funny.
Don't go just to the end.
You got to show the.
We got to shoot one of them.
Go to Instagram.
He does like a one or two minute version of this.
You don't have to do the long,
Hey, Tuesdays are stories.
They have,
right?
That's in the sidebar.
It's all ye life.
At my range,
they have a 700,
750 range.
They have a different range,
like 100,
50, 25, so the 20th is guns.
And then the 150 is rifles and guns.
And then the 750 is that shit.
And you can always hear when somebody's,
it just goes,
it just,
you're like, fuck.
And it's just,
One shot and then it's really dude that sound I want to get good at it as well because like I'm intimidated by it here
Turn it up a bullet. I'm gonna shoot these hands higher and higher caliber bullets all the way up to 50 cow and see how many takes to stop each round good luck Fred start now with the 22
This guy's channel is fucking great ping-o bullet hit right here and it's like a BB gun isn't that dangerous to bounce off off off that's what I was gonna say he's far enough away
But the bullet went through our first pan bounced off the second Fred still okay moving up to the revolver shooting around
a 44 magnet holy shit it's a good gun yeah that the bullet went through two pans and bounced
off the third moving up to the desert eagle shooting around a 50 a e let's go yeah yo
the eagle went through one pan two pans and bounced off the third moving up to the 12 gauge
shooting a slug you ready's back yeah wow that is fun look at this thing rules i need to watch
All these.
It's different things every time.
He shoots with, watch.
Shooting around a seven.
Then he'll shoot a scar after this.
At the AK went through one, two, three, and then bounced off number four.
Moving up to the gold scar, shooting around a 308.
The scar went through one, two, three pans, bounced off.
How come the holes are getting bigger?
What's that made?
The bullet.
The bullet.
The bullet went through one, two, three pans and also bounces off number four.
Fred's still okay.
The exit holes all is bigger.
Hang on, Fred.
You.
Fred.
What causes the fire?
Just the iron getting hit so fast?
50 cow went through five whole pans and bounced off number six.
Fred survives the video.
So you have to hold ten frying pans in front of you.
Now that I know that, literally if I was ever going to go out into a war zone, I'd like, all right, I need six frying pans.
They're coming.
Get the frying pans.
Load me up.
Put me in my frying pan suit.
Thank you, Paco.
You're a good man, and I know you're going to win.
Well, thank you, Joe.
I appreciate you even more because of your skin color.
Thank you, Paco.
Nobody laughed.
I feel weird now.
Thank you, Paco.
Yeah, but that, dude, he does, and he just does a different thing,
like every few days he'll do a different thing to shoot through.
Okay.
Can anyone actually explain why the first bullet hole looks smaller than the second bullet hole?
No.
What do you mean?
I can't actually.
The bullet's different sizes.
No, no.
The first, every single time he shoots.
The first pan, it expands and goes wider.
I'm assuming that the bullet starts expanding as it hits the first thing,
and it opens up more.
Yeah, you ever see Jav Kay's head?
It went in small on the back and then blew out.
I'm not talking about exit wound, though.
I'm talking about the first bullet hole was big.
That first bullet hole in the first pan is smaller than the second pan's bullet hole.
I genuinely don't know.
I'm too stupid.
I mean, we could Google.
Why don't you Google the answer?
Gugo.
Gugo.
Google.
Google.
Google.
Gogo.
Google dolls.
never liked them.
Didn't love them either.
That was a weird, like,
where rock became for women.
Like, hard rock became for chicks.
Dude, fuck you.
From, like, 97 to 2003.
I'd give up forever to touch me.
Yeah, there was that shit, dude.
Bullet X-Hole.
That's not more asking.
It's like, yeah.
It's like, yeah.
It's like, yeah.
Creed.
You know what I was listening to the other day
is the Everclear.
Father of mine.
Tell me, where have you been?
Because I was in Portland.
They're from Portland.
The second track on that is called Drug Girl or Heroine Girl.
It rocks. It's like a punk song.
Max is dating her.
Griffin introduced her.
He goes, hey, what's up?
This is Spider. She's nuts.
A woman named Spider.
I'm intrigued.
Dad, Griffin gave me a tattoo.
Dad, Griffin says when you're asleep, we're going to take your guns.
Griffin's going to take Max to Skank Fest.
He goes, I got us two VIP tickets to Skank.
He's like, Keeper Sutherland and Stand By Me.
Beatrice got mad at me because I let James is like
I'm gonna take a walk around Barcelona
Remember when he says around Barcelona like in a three block radio
Sure from the hotel we're saying at the fucking
There's nothing more close we were saying it like one of the nicest hotels
13 in exploring on a family vacation is the fucking best
I told Beatrice she's like you you let him walk around a city by himself in a foreign country
I was like James is six feet tall nobody is kidnapping James
He also has jiu jitsu knowledge he boxes he's like literally a tough kid
He's and she's like he has no street smarts I was like he needs to
do shit in the streets to develop
I was downstairs at the cellar and Max was like
Hey dad I'm gonna go to the store I was like all right
I gave I go just come back anything happens
Just come back here and uh
one of the comments like
You're letting him go to the store in New York
City by himself? I'm like
Yeah dude the kid kids that grow up here on the subway
She lets him do that in New York
She works in the Upper West Side so he'll visit her at work and he'll like walk around
the neighborhood I'm like I'm more concerned about New York City than I am
Barcelona unquestionably
We weren't in like, if we, look, you can get robbed.
Especially the Upper West Side.
If you go to, like, the touristy areas in Barcelona, people are getting pickpocketed.
I met a girl.
We were at a paella cooking class, which was actually one of the coolest experiences.
And one of the gay-s-man I said.
One of the gays, I went to a paella cooking class.
It was all just hot chicks and me and James.
Real quick, I went into a dressmaking store and I was hanging out with a dressmaker.
But it was cool.
You don't understand.
A paella.
She had her necklace, just a guy ran.
Ganked.
Ganked it off her and ran.
And then they run into alleyways.
And then.
if you chase them, they fucking beat your ass
when you get into the alleyway.
So, like, at night, if he was, like,
by himself in, like, a weird, like,
touristy area where people, but even him,
he looks like a young teenage kid.
There's no wallet. There's no watch. There's no jewelry.
There's, like, no, people are picking.
Just hotness.
Yeah, just, but he's also not going to be trafficked.
He's too old to be trafficked and sex slavery.
Yeah, Max, I, I was talking to Donna.
I was like, nobody's going to try to fuck Max.
He's too big and...
He's, like, mean, now?
Yeah.
So he's, like, the guy would be like,
sorry, I can't get it up.
He's like, you're fucking gross, dude.
You have pubs.
I can't do it.
You're picking hard, you fucking.
Yeah, yeah, you go, oh, fuck.
You got hair on your shins.
Just mean 13 year olds trying to
the mean 13 year.
I'm like, what is the worst-age scenario here
that you think he's going to be trafficked in Barcelona?
I think are six foot tall.
He looks like he's 16.
Everyone thought he was 16 years old
every time people would ask how old he was.
Both of your kids have that thing
where they're growing past their age.
Like, they're getting too big.
So when you see them, they're like not adjusted to their bodies.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, what's up?
When I saw, when I saw James at Madison
and Square Garden at Shane show.
He just walks up.
He's like,
Oh,
he's like,
what's up, James?
He's like a golden retriever
with big feet.
Yeah, he's got big paws
and he was like,
oh, it's pretty cool,
but he's still like
little James.
I still see it in him.
I learned,
I taught him about a shave
on this strip.
Oh, that's fun.
A little highlight.
That's sweet.
His balls.
Making fun of you to him
and making him laugh
was one of my favorite experiences.
Making fun of you,
and James is like,
ha.
James fucking loves this shit.
He loves it.
He's a ball bust.
No, I think you've got to let
kid do shit. You got a little bit. I mean, when I was, I would literally hit-hiking,
I was hitchhiking at 12 years old to go to the mall, just go to the movies. Yeah, I don't think that's
the example to leave with it. Well, no, I obviously, you wouldn't let him do that, but I remember
one time me and my buddy James, James Saconne, we were hitchhiking and, like, a pretty hot chick
in a Camaro stopped. Like, it was at night to, like, take us home. Smoking hot chick,
probably 19 or 20 years old. He was maybe 14, I'm maybe 13, right? And we're like, we're in
this girl's come out and she had she was wearing a tank top and you can see her hard
nipples through a white tank top no bra I mean she was and she was being slow down slow down
super flirty oh and like don't bust that nut yet I shit you not this girl wanted to get
fucked by so we were just like little boys so we just didn't understand the signals god we would
have had such a good time you really think she wanted one dude I know women now okay one of the
one of the only things that I know so sorry don Juan women I know women no women have never
go against intrinsic. If you get a vibe that a woman
wants to fuck you, she wants to fuck you 99%
of the time, period. And this woman was giving us
that fucking vibe. But if you're 13, you don't
have to act on that. Chill. Yeah.
Oh, I wish you. Learn arithmetic. Biggest regret
that. And then you could have like, suitor.
Because she was a pedophile. Dan suitor?
Dan suitor. Hi, I'm Dan Suter.
I had one that I think everyone
might have missed, so if we could just go back to the
Barcelona story real quick. Yeah.
James isn't going to go far Salona.
Hey.
Did you guys miss it?
We didn't need to rewind for that one, but I'm glad you did it.
All right.
Bub, boo, boo, boo, boo, so on.
But the idea of vibing it was, because that's not true.
I was a pizza delivery guy.
One time a lady answered the door and a towel and she was nice to me and I wasn't like.
Dude, I was a sub-delivered guy for Delangelo's, and the lady used to order the same ham sandwich, and I would go in and fuck the shit out of her.
What?
Yeah.
I were going, she'd order, she lived in this little, she lived in a house, but in the back of the house, somebody's house, but she had like the bottom apartment.
She's a dangerous.
And I would see, it would say, no windows.
I would, every time I saw the sandwich, it was just a, that's it.
Ham with cheese and mustard, and that's it.
If another guy, if another guy took it, would he get the fucker?
Nope.
Is it like Pavlov?
Like, you see a ham sandwich now?
You get a, I made a ham sandwich.
He's on the road.
The weirdest thing, though, is she lied about her age.
She was definitely older.
Sure.
I knew she, and I was like, how old are you?
She's like 25, and I was like, you're not, you like 30 something.
Yeah, you had a tough life.
Yeah, she had like, it's like, you.
She's lying about her age, but yeah, I used to fuck her all this time.
I thought everybody was old.
My wife now is four.
Please turn the air back on.
I'm dying.
My wife is 48 now.
A 48-year-old woman when I was 15, I thought was 75.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's crazy.
I thought 40 was.
I went to the planetarium.
My high school had a planetarium.
Your high school has something.
Let me alone.
Let me be.
Yeah, no, we had a planetarium at the high school.
And I remember in elementary school, that was like one of the field trips is you go to
the planetarium at the high school.
school and it seemed like it was like the biggest most massive fucking room and you'd see the the kid and back
then kids were the kids were allowed to smoke on on campus on school rounds that's so cool
smoking section so you'd see like them smoking and they were full-fledged adults these were 16 and 17 year old
kids they were full-fledged adults to me i remember getting finally getting to high school and going to the
planetarium like it was like you know it was one of your classes was in the planetarium it was literally
a classroom that had a domed ceiling that's really funny they built out a dome ceiling in a regular
sized classroom. And when you're a little
kid, it was just like... When you go back to your elementary
school and you're like, the desks are that small.
Yeah, at least seems like a midget building. Yeah.
It's a house. This is a house for dolls.
The weird, one of the strangest mind fucks
in life is everybody's age
when you were younger. Like your teachers were probably like
28 years old. So the one that I'm coming to right now
that's weird is my dad died when he was 48.
You come to that? And I go,
I go, it's crazy. I go, I'm gonna
fucking lose it. I'm gonna fucking lose it.
He's fucking dead. Oh, I'm five years away from it.
I'm so fucking close.
Maybe if I start drinking, I can hit that mark again.
My mom died when she was 42.
She was younger than me.
That's, yeah.
I don't remember my mom being older than me.
That's fucking nuts to me.
When you're like pass it and you're like, I'm older than they were.
Yeah, that's fucking weird.
Because you're just like, I don't feel, I still feel like I'm younger than them.
Oh, I feel like a fucking kid.
Yeah.
But she died from drugs.
It must be weird if, like, your parent died young at like 40-something from like heart or something.
Yeah.
And you're like,
I hope I got.
Yeah, my dad drank himself to hepatitis C and then cirrhosis.
So, like, he had some extra add-editis.
Some drinking?
Yeah.
Well, he was just a fucking blackout in a fucking trailer park and got hep C.
And then he kept drinking.
He was doing needle drugs, Dan.
No, he wasn't.
No, for a fact, my dad wasn't.
He got hep C.
He got it from fucking a slut, and she had it.
You can get Hep C from unprotected sex.
It's very hard. It's very hard to get hep C from vegetables.
Dude, my dad was Boston up.
It's extremely hard.
Look it up.
It's very, very.
It's like 1991, though.
I get hepsy from sex.
Very easy to get a hepsey from needles.
I promise you.
I promise my dad was expensive.
I would love if he did because I would, I'd be like, yeah, dude.
I'm just going to believe you.
Believe all soders.
I would love if my dad was a heroin addict.
That would have made him cooler in my eyes.
Just finish his story.
But I'm just saying.
Oh, is that it?
No, yeah, he died at 48.
So it's just weird because you're like, do you get close to it?
And you're like, for me, he was so old.
Yeah, Dan's story was going to be.
He's almost as old as his father was, but then Lewis interrupted him to say,
the same thing but for his mother.
Infected blood.
Sharing during infected needles, 60 to 80%
chance of infection.
Sexual transmission, under 1%
per year.
Dan's dad did fucking drugs.
Hell yeah.
Dad was shooting up.
That's sick.
Can I tell you right now,
that would make so much more sense
than him just...
He said, him just drinking.
I was like, damn, you got to drink a lot
to be that shitty of a dad.
But if he was like...
That was fucking like Lewis's mom.
He had fun and on the show.
Can I tell you right now?
And I genuinely mean this.
It's so much more rock and roll
than him dying from just drinking.
But he could have been injured during a health care
needle stick. That's 1.8%.
No, I was always told, and by the way,
I was told by my aunt, not anybody
who was like, it was his sister, it was like,
yeah, he got it from this girl.
They were telling you. They were broken.
She had, my aunt got hep C.
From your father.
From him throwing up blood in her eye.
Oh. Oh.
she was helping him while he was sick.
Now, this is the Taranty.
film. When she was, when she was
helping him, she moved back to help him
when he was sick, and he threw up blood and had
gotten her heart. His aunt was a drug
user. I'm like,
well, she didn't think it was a big deal
and then like seven months later, they were like, you have
hepatitis. I let's she couldn't hepatitis C anymore.
Dude, that's sick. My dad being like,
the aunt's finding out his whole family used drugs.
That makes sense. His aunt was a
fucking, they're both fucking just shooting up.
Yeah, dude, she fucking shot up too.
dude she didn't get it from his eyes
yeah dude you're fucking life
you think they're gonna tell you the truth
dude they were both fucking shooting
up heroin addicts fucking sharing their fucking
head me dude I love it
came back banging fucking junk
they were both nodding off somewhere in a fucking trailer
dude my dad's at the back of a bowling alley like
hey don't tell Dan
hey Dan doesn't know this don't let
oh also the long sleeves in July
made sense yeah dude you fucking
drug out of family
is that a real thing no
my dad died of surrender
because he had Hep C
and then he kept drinking.
And then it just was like
and then that's a fucking nasty way out.
Yeah, that's a terrible way.
I'm not drinking anymore here, but I did
drink a lot. Would you drink wine?
All wine and beer. I know, I haven't drank.
The amount of beer that I drank, it's maybe
collectively the amount of beer that I've drank for the past 10
years. Did you get expensive wine?
Like a, none of the wine.
Like a holy shit wine? Well, with the
tasting in the secret room. The tasting was yes, that
was expensive as well. But
that not a like... I would love Lewis who became a
Wine connoisseur.
Oh, purple.
He comes in with purple teeth.
Yeah.
Guys, I'm just real emotional today.
I'm bulimic.
And Skangfest, he has a wine person that has a candle goblet.
A ton of wine.
That's like one of my drinks.
It's bourbon and wine.
I drink a lot of wine.
But not now.
What, like asavi bee?
You get like a white wine.
You get bitchy?
I go of French wines.
I like I'm dry.
Warm summer breeze is French wines and cheese.
A big port go region I look for.
A little blends.
Anyway.
We're going to wrap it up, boys?
Yeah.
We're here.
We did it.
All right, we did it.
It was fun.
I'm pumped for Skagfest right around the corner.
What's great is some footage.
You know what's great?
I showed you some footage.
Cold weather.
A two minute chunk.
Hoodies are right around.
I hate that.
Get out of here.
So sad.
The summer is going by.
I don't know if it's because we have kids.
The summer just flies by.
Like, I remember the summer used to be long and hot.
Now it's just like.
There was three months of your life when you were 11 years old was a measurable percentage
of your life. Now we're old, so months
feel like weeks. But we're doing shit every
day. You've got to go and it's just
like it's gone. It's fucking over, fast.
But I'm excited for that. I fucking sweatshirt
weather. I do like a sweatshirt
and I like football being back.
I like football and porno and books
about war. I like all those three things
too. Dennis Leary. Oh, cool.
That's an asshole song. All right. Well, you guys
will see you guys next time on the regs.
Bye.
