Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Survivor

Episode Date: April 22, 2013

Robert and crew reflect on the recent events in Boston. With special guest spot by Nate Bargatze. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoy es un día de eso de no saber cómo va a acabar el día. Donde nadie pregunta a dónde viene, sino por qué no te viene. Y una ronda es el tiempo que pasa entre no conocernos, y no creer olvidarnos. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos vía. Hoy es un día de eso que Madrid nos encuentra. Maú, la vida es más vida cuando nos encontramos. Encuentra los bares de Madrid la dicción especial de Madrid nos liga. Un dominaje de Ma mal, a Madrid.

en todos tus dispositivos. ¡Pluyutotiví, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca! ¡You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! ...on the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com Ok, little rocky music in the background. There's no easy way out. No easy way out. There's no shortcut home. There's no easy way out. There's no shortcut home. There's no easy way out.

All right, survivor intro. Week after the Boston bombings, Joe lists and I were there. I was in Lynn having had a queue as in actually at the marathon, close by. My other soul away from where everything happened. We have Pete Davidson, a young comic whose father was one of the first responders to 9-11. I mean, one of the first guys in the building and he is unfortunately passed away. And he was on really cool, comic little angry little crazy like myself From New York Dan Soda Califistuke myself talk about the bombings talk about September 11th

Discuss some other shit and we have a little soap opera bullshit at the end. So enjoy this one It is a pretty interesting. So hit the music, let's go. Pretty simple. You know what, dude? Make sure you subscribe and review, spread the word, tell people you like this, if you're a fan of the show. And that's all we ask. Bye.

Hey gang, this is Colin Quinn. This is Jim Norton. this is Dennis Leary. This is Opie from a lot of things. This is Bert Kreiser. Staying cooking, you are listening to Robert Kelly's, you know what dude? You know what dude? You know what dude?

If you bippy by a if you bippy boo, dippy dippy dhya, you have a dava do. Dude! This is Robert Kelly's, you know what to do! You know what to do! Get your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi on your boi Sir, hmm, nothing. Oh, geez, that's inappropriate inappropriate. I'm a survivor. You're not a survivor. I am a survivor. Mark, can I have internet please? I need you to put you. Can we just stop right now? I need you to never wear that shirt again. I know because I want to fight it. I want to lie you on that little bed in there. It's a stupid. I actually want to make love to you.

No, I do. That's bad. It's the bad eye It's actually the fucking fix your eye I got bad vision Bobby thinks Kelly is four tits right now That's three I know check out these along the same lines of the same joke I wore this trophy other day with a different bra and today I was different one yours Hey, they're gay boy Kelly. I just want to master me right on those tits. Yeah, what's up with it? Oh, it's bad. I wore the wrong bra with this top now,

they really got some now. She's got tits like one of those old Wild West hookers. Were there breathing? No, all right. Where's that from? Kelly, Kelly, you should be in the actors guild for pretending that you're upset that you wore that sexy shirt. It's too long, That was too long.

I think your tits aren't too long but they still look nice. Joe's on fire. Well as a survivor I have to say. I'm not a fucking... What? Listen first of all, let's just get this out of the way. We have Kelly fucking... Kelly. of all we have let's just get this out of the way we have Kelly fucking Kelly slamming tits McGee I want a fucking mush you look like one of all you should be in like a window in Amsterdam like during the afternoon not at night but he says you know I'm trying to lunch she's a lunch

crew she's a lunchtime tits well Samaboy it's he's to it yeah I'm better than I was this time last year boom you were real skinny last year I know my tits disappeared. They're the back. They're the back. The vengeance. One's back more than the other. Is that the fucking shitty lean that you do?

Yeah, that's my bad posture. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you like them. Thanks, Scott. Perfect seat, Scott. Just directly across the way. Pre-school teacher tits. Look at me, like an eye chart.

If you were behind me, you'd see that. We got Joe List is here. Survivor Joe List. Oh, God. Survivor Joe List. I'm a survivor. New nickname, baby. If you'll behind me we got Joe lists is here survivor Joe list Survivor Joe list New nickname baby. I was there too. Fuck you terrorists. I love to I was there too. Who are you? I was a marble head marble. I was actually in Lynn at the poor hole pub having had a 90 miles away I had had it that day too. Did you have on the hat? It's no England. I like me said hi five and gave me a pound. You do. I don't know why I said do.

Joe's all jacked up. I'm excited. I survived an attack. Shut up. We'll get into it. Will you stop? Let me introduce everybody. We got Dan, my father's dead soda.

Hey. Hey, hey. This father is not a survivor. It's Dan father's been dead. His father's not a survivor. He is a survivor. Well, not really. You can't really survive cirrhosis. He survived for 36 good years. 48.

That's a hell of a run. Dan, Dan Soutas here. He's got a new haircut. No, I don't. No, you don't. Do you have some gel? Those are head foes. Did you talk some LA comics?

Dude, you got to get the pom-aid, man. Gross people aren't used to that, but you got to do it. Neil Brennan pulled a very LA move when I was talking to him. He was like, what do you spoke? He goes, you have to. I'm going to that but you gotta do it me a brennan pulled a very l.a. move when i was talking to me he's like he spoke he goes you have to uh you have to lose 15 pounds and die the grays on the side of your head and i was like what he's like he was just like matter of fact please don't please don't listen to him i'm not you don't need to do any of that lewie is a fucking anybody who's famous is accounted for that who the fuck who the fuck

hugely famous right the fuck now is is fucking That's for actors. Yeah, that's for some horseshit leading man. I agree. That's why I got my grades in my fucking That's some that's some actor bullshit He was he had to be joking with you. I don't yeah, I think he was I don't know me You know he's got the very just what he just went. I don't yeah, I think he was I don't know me You know he's got that very he just went I don't know I think he was I don't know I think he wasn't like a corporate dance back You won't you you won't pick my side or fucking nails just yeah well robber. Yes. Here's my philosophy

Yeah, tell me about it is both sides have good point no, they don't you fucking be you I mean you knew to you need to lose weight really You fucking be you. I mean you knew to you need to lose weight really definitely around 15 20 I'd say 20 But not for your career just for your life Fappussi say That's a make these last 18 years count dude. I don't I don't believe first of all I don't believe you have to die your hair. There's a lot of people that are doing very well that have shitty hair Do something with your hair around for don't know, for sure. My hair's great.

Your hair is great. It looks nice today. My hair looked nice, and then I got these headphones on, so I'm bummed out about it. And then we got, what's your, I don't even know your name. Pete Davidson.

Pete Davidson. Hi. Who's a young comic from New York, right? Yep. We were supposed to have Eric Rivera on too, but he couldn't get a sitter. Fuck me, dude. I'll bring the, I'll do the show with the baby on the front of my chest and one of those things. That'll be fun.

Oh, well, fucking just let my kid breastfeed off of one of those tits while we're doing the show. I'll pay you a hundred bucks. You let me get sucked in. You suck the vagimine out of those titties. I'm not lactating. 150 dollars, you let my kid suck on your nipple. When it gets cooler and he'll put my cat again on, because the guys are creeping me out. Wait, it's your...

Hang on, I want to know, Kelly, how much would it cost for you to let my kid breastfeed off of you? 5 bills. 5 bills. 500 cash to let my kid just suck on what he is doing. You have breastfeeding works, yeah. I'm going to get prego. No, I don't want milk coming on.

I just wanted to suck on your nipple. I'll do it for 5. I'll do it for 3. Wait nipple. I'll do it for five Wait a second. I'll say it's dick too That's the most thing dude, look at baby dick so I can't around the mouth. That's not cool, bro. Let me I'll tell you this cool, bro I'll tell you this yeah, you guys have because I like you. I'm gonna let that one slide And because you're never having kids because you and your girl just can't have them. Oh, you didn't know that oh shit Did you just call Sarah Baron her womb is dead? Oh, we only have anal

Days are birth thing happy birthday Baron womb That's insensitive. Yeah, well you mean you can suck my kids clock now. We're even okay You were gonna suck her tits. No, my kid was. Well, whatever. All right. So we got, what's your name again? Pete, Pete, I gotta remember that.

Wait a minute, look at you. What are you doing? My head was itchy. So that's how you do it, like a black girl with a weave. Get in the fingernail, right on there. He just pat on the top of his head because he didn't wanna mess up the fucking sculpture. I went to sleep last night with my hair dead

and I couldn't mess it up. All right, so let's get to it. I mean, I was gonna have Eric on the show. I guess you two fucking homos had a Twitter fight. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, which is gay in itself, but I thought it'd be funny to bring him in, but apparently he's got a baby,

couldn't get a baby said. He's ducking at Pete. But also, I i mean this weekend the i mean monday the the the bombing in in boston joe list was actually there that was a driver i was i was in boston too i was in a bar is it the portal pub you have to show their portal pub portal pub and lindon and when now that's a and they do it in lindon you got a coming. It's a fucking one of my favorite restaurants. They get the best haddock in town

Oh, well, yeah, being enough McDonald's to everyone. No, I was eating it outside I didn't want to eat in front of Bobby and then he showed up all right. Can we can we fucking stay on topic? I don't give a fuck about his dumb fucking French fries. No, not the haddock the fucking bombing you savages you fucking young minds survived you did this is gonna be one of those this is gonna be a show that I don't like because I'm already not liking it I'm loving it I know you love it there was yeah I mean look there was a it was fire to be honest I was really fucked up about it. I got really emotional about this whole thing because here we are again now where there's people Crying I mean fucking people crying on the streets people losing legs dying a little kid died

and for what and now Everybody's afraid again everybody's afraid again. Everybody's afraid to do anything, to have fun. You know, I mean, the marathon in Boston is that day where everybody goes out and all over the world and it's one of the biggest events the city has. But for every day of the year. And now, what the fuck?

Well, it's just that, you know, we're going again next year and I have no plans to not go next year. What are you gonna do? You're not gonna stay at the finish line, I guarantee that. Uh, walk through. I mean, whether someone's gonna do the exact same thing, you just hope you don't get bombed. We can't handle this. I mean, that's sad that that's the, that's all you got. The track, the pack, I mean, it is sad, but what are we gonna do? It happens every day and it's real and all that yeah well that I mean scary it sucks

yeah I mean it sucks that we we don't have it here we've never had it here we've been so lucky not to have war or terrorism that much on our soil you know well how many times has it been three one two three three, four. Four. Yeah, four. Four, five times. World trade, yeah. Five times. And now, and now what happened again, like it was that point we have to go to Sama and then we made a movie about it.

It's like it's done. Once we make a movie about it, it's like, we're done. It's over. There's a movie. There's a guy playing Ossama. But this is similar to Newtown or whatever. I mean, by the time this podcast podcast come out hopefully they'll have caught whoever it is but it's probably so that's not that came out today

fucking maniac that came out today that it was uh... will explain subject that was a fact well you get it they didn't catch somebody already today well you're saying it wasn't terrorism it wasn't the uh... arab's it wasn't that i think that's highly is that what you saying clear yeah i mean i think that's that's been pretty clear throughout

the day that nobody they're saying that says the the lone wolf look of it i mean nobody can't do bombs though how do you carry you're not carrying two bombs sure you can how it's a pressure cooker it's a little fucking carrying two of you carrying two ovens and we can do that you can carry two prayer if you're Spanish they're small for a fairer maybe you did it ever could bear not here a beef with you yeah it's a name family in nine eleven I think you lost family in a lot you lost

your dad have you found him yet yeah we found him I want to shut the show up what good honest I'm not getting a beating shut the fuck up I mean you're blowing my kid which is out of line if that was anybody else in the room I'd probably throw a guitar. I'm a little fucked up of a survivor for you All right, I just went through with the experience you fucking settle down All right, sorry everybody look the fucking fucking second baby dick and now some guys father died in the 9-11 and you're fucking making Joe Did you not introduce him as fatherless damn? Damn, I did.

That's because he was an alcoholic. Hey, that's because of fucking cirrhosis. That was his choice. It wasn't a plane in a building and a little baby that can't defend himself because you're a babysitting. He choose to die. Stand up for yourself for God's sake. He didn't choose to die. You know the years of drinking actually did.

He hasn't seen, didn't even have an accent yet. Kelly, turn that fan off. So you found the past away in that, wow. If you don't mind talking about it. He was a fireman. Holy shit. He was the first responder. Was he the first or was he the first? They bury first. The first firehouse. The first firehouse to get in there. He hit your father. Because the firehouse is right by the Brooklyn Bridge so they just went straight there and I think we found out like four or five days later wait a minute dude what what do you mean he showed up did he did do you know what happened to him oh he went in I was told he got a bunch of people out and then he went back in before they came

down so when he went back in they just came down the building came in so then then they found him five days I found Jesus. How old were you? I was seven and now you're a comic. Yeah fucking this shit comes together Yeah, you know, tell him amazing paid you're seven fucking amazing fucking hey dude I mean though, but would you rather have a hero dad or me? That's alive Kidding probably the best way to go out.

Well, look, when your father's a cop or a firefighter, or in the army or military, I mean, that you, I mean, I don't know if you would at seven. Yeah, I had no idea. But your family, that's always there. It's always, that's the worst possible scenario. But that's, I mean, firefighters, Jesus, they go into burning buildings. I mean they go in and save people that's their job. It sucks

That's like one of the craziest Manliest motherfucking jobs there is. Yeah, it's the ball's the best profession to have I mean cops too I mean but but firefighters you know cops pull people over. I'm not taking anything away from cops Yeah, but this this is the thing. This is what happened in Boston too. And that's why I fucking love being American. I cry sometimes at the beginning of football games and shit when they sing this. I do.

Don't you get emotional? Yeah, when everybody takes the hat off. Dude, I get, because as a country, you know, and then Yankees think that they did yesterday with the, we love Boston and they mixed the logos. Yeah. It's just fucking shit makes me emotional because when it comes down to it, we're all the same people. We're all human beings over here and we're Americans. Well, it's most of the time we're also so divided on issues and politics and shit and then

something comes some even sports and something like this comes together and everyone's like, oh shit I love being an American and I love my fellow American. Well look at what happened. I mean everybody but Joe Helped people. He's just a survivor. He's not a survivor and Helper a first responder and he didn't help anybody. I mean I talked to a lot of the runners afterwards We don't even know my story really because we had to move over to Pete My story is pretty much unknown That's American hero and Joe's like well, you know, I was having a nice iced green tea. Yeah and thanks for doing it during the day. Well years ago. Under 48 hours here. Joey's not breaking character.

I'm shaking. Oh my fucking god. I didn't know anything about you. I didn't know that about you. I didn't know anything about you. I didn't know you were 19 either. I thought you were 25 and just a douche. Now I feel bad. Well, he is 25 and a douche, but he is 19, whatever the fuck he is. Listen, so you father, so you father passes away

and it must have, did you want to stand it back then? I didn't really get it. like I didn't understand until, but I started acting out in school, like a kind of, like what? Oh, like I would, I didn't, I was the kid that, like when they were like, turned to pay 60, not I was like, I had to say, nine, right? I'm still that guy, I know, I still do that, I don't care, 60, not 60, not yet. But nobody, like I had no friends cause of it. Did you act out by getting a Dominican's haircut?

Is that a Puerto Rican day? What are you? I'm Irish. Irish? Yeah, I didn't know that either. Me too though. You get the full lips and you get the darkness.

Don't fuck with him about that. It's haircut. I'm fuck with this haircut. It's fine now. It's not fine. That's not good. He's dead. Dan has a point. I would I would literally clinch my iPhone tighter if I saw you walking by I thought you were black. This is what I thought I thought you were 25 and black. I thought you would want

Yeah, I would Vidalago your 19 and white Vidalago the fucking one the black guys turn white that's my lotto a lot of it a lot of the fucking one that's the black guys turn white that's my lotto now mix that's my ratio when they have the blotch of the white I know I know that's not a little bit of a little bit of a, go. Go, go, go. Everyone mend a deal. It's not that bad, man. Take that with you too. Next time you're fucking a survivor, you can help people with that. Tried to run a limb. Listen, turn it to.

Hopefully, there won't be a next time, Bobby, but thanks for your insensitivity. Everyone in the coach has been a victim of terrorism. I don't think that it's been taken. I was here. You were here at 9-11. 9-11, I was in New York. Talk about your damn hat again. I was in a bar.

Fucking pirate. I'm in a bar. The shit goes down. We're all sitting like, what the fuck? And they got all the TVs on this one total Boston lind dude. We got a wipe them out. Every couple of minutes you hear something like that. And then he's like, we're going to go to war, we're going to fucking take them out. Take them all out. Every couple of minutes you hear something like that. Then he's like, we gotta go to war, we gotta fucking take him out, take him all out,

fuck them, that's why we're a bunch of fucking assholes. And then this lady, I mean, it's couples. Old people having lunch, having had it. This lady goes, what, sir, can you settle down and he goes, you're a fucking pussy. Fuck you. He gets tossed. And he's outside.

He's like, I'm shy. We ain't got no way. I'm just a little shy. I can't say that. I can't say that. But I mean, it's pretty crazy that you dad. Now, now you're 19 and you're doing comedy how long? Three years.

Three years. Have you ever talked about it? Yeah. You talk about it on stage? It's got a really funny joke about it I've seen him do. Well, what is it? Can I ask you what it is? Go ahead. Just tell me the premise. What is the pool? Oh, yeah, when my dad like my family came and do a little bit of money. So my mom you got money a little bit a little bit Well for your family, it's a lot. It's a lot for my family. Right because you're a middle class right now. Yeah, I'm not mine too

Yeah, the joke I do is not chose shows family has a lot of money Very inaccurate. Yeah, I don't appreciate people thinking that You can blow my kid, but I'm sorry, but you're fucking families tax bracket go fuck yourself. Go ahead It's less than firefighters What No, they Do what is your what is your father? What is it what is you do?

All they most certainly do well people think you're like the leader of the show and what people thinking I'm some fucking like I was born with a spoon in my mouth What are you probably the leader of the show? Name on the better. I don't know. I don't know. He's name on the better. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

It was fucking pick on survivor day. All right. Can I say anything without getting fucking. Good. I mean, you fucking. Yeah. Sammy Davis Jr.

You're fucking zinging me over here. So what's the day. I know he had one. I we got it. We just didn't fucking like it as much. The joke is how I got my family giving a little money so my mom got me a pool

And my friends are like oh, he's just so lucky man. You have a pool right your rich Yeah, luckily my dad got crushed by a building and it made me feel better my mom bought me a pool that I fill up with tears That's funny. Here. It was funny about it by a building. It is really so precise and accurate. It used to be a little sheet rock. Now there's not a lot of sheet rock. Building is better. Cross by a building. It's just a funny thing. But then you're like, oh, it's really sick. Yeah, at the end of it, like Jesus Christ. It either bombs miserable people like. Something like derosis act. He's making a joke. We can make jokes, right? Well, that's that's a funny. I mean here's here's the fuck deal That's pretty cool. That's pretty wild though. Yeah fucking joke

You know what though I guy that he really is ramping up. The survival. I know. I'm not letting him fucking shoot it out of the cannon yet. I'm letting him hold on to it because we have no story. We have a long way to go. Shut up. It's pretending to smoke a cigarette. He's so cool.

Would you pretend to smoke? Do you say you shut up? Did you see it, I Yeah, did you see I did All right, so I did it was to Kelly. I don't think I did I'll take it Peter. Yes That's your name. It's Pete. Oh, no shit. I got it I was just throwing that out there. I'm on I like that I like that you go your name's Peter and he goes no, it's Pete and you go hey, I got it So did anybody else you know pass away in the like oh a couple of my friends uncles Peter and he goes, no, it's Pete and you go, hey, I got it.

So did anybody else you know, pass away in the, like, a couple of my friends, uncles, like I have, for cause I'm from Staten Island. So I know like three or four people at the time. So your father worked in downtown as a father. You worked in Brooklyn Heights, like right next to the bridge, right, right next to the bridge. Yep. Okay. Um, wow, that's fucking crazy. And now do you, do you, you do you get do you go down every year when they read the names? I don't do it anymore. I went the first two years and now it's kind of just like I get it.

It looks like I get it. It's like they're trying to make people cry. That's like it. That's what it is. It's like it's get everybody together in cry day. You still cry when it when you think about it. Absolutely. When, I mean, I still cry, I cry when I see all the people crying on the videos and I don't like watching anymore. I know it comes on every year and I watch it just to remember, you know, what happened, but I cry when I see the people crying and looking up and they're just in disbelief

because they're in shock of what the fuck they're actually looking at and that type of fear is crazy to me. Like that's crazy to me. Do you still? Well, I mean, what? People crying doesn't get me anymore. It really gets me now. I was like, my sister's like in high school now.

So she's like playing basketball. And my dad came to it like a lot of my games when I was little because I was playing at the time. Right. And she doesn't even know what he like looks like. Really? Yeah. She was her sister.

My sister was three. So like she has. Yeah, so there's your sister my sister was three So like she's she has a father daughter Dan's coming up. Oh It's fucking horrible. It's horrible like I and and I'm not even around that much because I'm doing Like I just go spots every night. So like it's like, it's awkward. I cried a lot about that. And you can be upset if she picks the uncle over here. Oh, 100%. I don't think so. So you wait until the sister.

So you, so you, so that far, you're, you're a little sister's anguish and, yeah, she's fucking me out. That fucks you up a lot. Yeah. Right. Well, let me tell you though, that's good that you're actually connected to it though.

A lot of people disconnect and, and, and never have that emotion, you's good that you're actually connected to it though. A lot of people disconnect and never have that emotion, you know, you have to stay connected to it. You have to, the fact that you're crying about it, you're crying about your sisters, that you're still connected to the actual thing that had the event, and it still fucks you up, which is good man, people that don't cry over that stuff and don't stay connected, that's when you

get fucked up and that's when you start coming out and anger and fucked up crazy sure. And drinking absolutely become corporate. You gotta be careful, dude. You start doing a bunch of silly voices. You gotta be careful. You get a really sweet haircut. Yeah, you gotta seriously, you gotta be careful.

It will come out in other ways. If you let it out in the good ways and you're actually helping your sister out then you know I mean Joe I mean even sober for fucking How long almost four months ago? Three and a half months. How great is it? I love it. How you connected to shit now? You're very connected. Yeah before you were disconnected. Yeah, I was disconnected But that's good man. I'm sorry about that. That's terrible. Now did yesterday do you get fucked up? I watching it was a little rough because you see I feel like shit that ain't nothing

I was I was the New Yorker thing. Yeah, our place was way bigger Our place took out more people who wait but we had a fucking plane blast Hey, you guys don't got planes you got a bean make a blast Who's a pressure cooker. How funny is that it like fucks you up, but yeah, I try to I try to I mean That they make beans in the bean down nothing Whatever nice talking it like fucks you up, but I try it now whenever I see like tragedy I just try to like make fun of it. I don't know it sounds fucked up But like when the bomb went off I was watching the other three people like still like fuck this

I'm gonna finish anyway I was trying to laugh at that well yeah, I had to adjust on that gun to trouble What did he do? I heard he did something. Yeah, you got erased it. Yeah, you erased it because he's He's you know, he's gonna show on TV any Sponsors and people were calling for his head. What did he tweet? He tweeted? Kelly's gonna get it something to the effect guy you got it you got to give me the internet um shit we erased the tweet you raised the tweet but I had it I had it up here on um for a laugh button got a nice screen dump of it before he did it it was

something about the finish line like why would you blah blah blah if you can't even here's the thing about Anthony though he's kind of been known to tweet about tragedies. Like he did the Aurora shooting, he did jokes about, you know, he does jokes about that stuff. That's what Anthony does. What was kind of like when, when it came out that he did the tweet, I was like, I was waiting for him to tweet. Like he's getting to the point where I'm just expecting. I'm just expecting

here. Oh, here we go. Anthony's going to say something that's really, really shitty and everyone's going to get mad. And then he did it and it didn't affect me at all because I was like, it's just so, it's like you're just trying so hard to like be. That's what I mean, but are you right? Why are you racing because he didn't want his fame to go away. There's one of fucking loses paycheck. This could literally take down his career. He's not, no, no, Y paraas, huela desde Madrid a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros.

Bolotea. Tarifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta las condiciones en volotea.com. Loven? Sí, sí, sí, sí. No, this show. It's gonna be the next. Is your sketch in it? Yeah. It's gonna air the season. Everybody's, I think, is in it, right?

I didn't know if they were gonna air the pilot. I have no idea. Cause I know that she told me they chopped up the pilot and put sketches in different places. I have no idea. Where I'm going. Yours is fucking hilarious. But the show that she sent me,

yeah, her show's funny, dude. This thing's gonna be a fucking huge hit. But we're fucking getting off topic here. Yeah, he's, he, look, he made a joke on Twitter. You get thousands of, you forget. You know, I got in trouble last week for the podcast when I said there's no funny English stand-ups. Oh, really?

And then I got in trouble with a fan because I said that I always try to contact the fans and thank the fans and I you know I appreciate it and one thing I was like no you don't fuck you you know I've been I bought your CD your book I come to your shows they listen to the podcast I spread and you've never responded never tweeted and I was like Holy shit dude. I'm sorry. He's like I didn't mean to make you feel bad, but fuck you and I got the opposite where guys like I like the personal responses Thank you, and I was like you're welcome

So there you go that was that story Wow, Pete's reach for the band and I take it as fucking dance time over is I listen to his funny I'm pretty securely. Did he did you a funny die? Yeah, Jesus Christ Did he did you a funny die? Jesus Christ Funny's more dead than my father He's like one of the the Ramones of comedy Oh, you just not gonna laugh no

Dude say something funny. I laugh. I'm with you dad. I want you to it come back. Don't get mad at me. I didn't understand the Ramones Cuz he look at a long fucking pale from statin island Queens who gives a fuck a queen statin island yet Queens no the Ramones are I'll go fuck yourself Dan You're fucking mad at you cuz you got a stinker. I Did have a stinker did you get it yet no anthony jess and that i did they deleted it so i got to like fun it through like i think i recalls about whatever i don't know dude i want to get the quick i say something you can you summarize the tweet bobby what what is the joke of the tweet i i i i

uh... i didn't respawn i didn't say anything on twitter and facebook number one i didn't want to I didn't say anything on Twitter and Facebook. Number one, I didn't want people to joke about what I wanted to say. I didn't want these fucking assholes to respond and quips and fuck yous. It made me so mad that I was worried about what other fucking these assholes were going to say about me being sincere on Twitter. And the other thing I didn't want to, because I'm like, who the fuck am I to say something? Who am I to say, you know, hey, you know, blah, blah, I don't know, I get, I got fucked up about

it because I was really emotional about it. I fucking was disturbed. I got fucked up. I got emotional. I was, you know, I cried watching the news. I just, that's just, I do. I got fucked up. I got emotional. I was, you know, I cried watching the news. I just, that's just, I do. I don't like to see people get hurt for no fucking reason. And, um, you know, and then I saw his, well, he got in trouble because he was trying to be funny about it. And maybe it was too soon. I don't, I didn't know how the fuck I felt about it. I don't know if I still do. Pete in today is amazing. The the line is there are some lines that just shouldn't be crossed today, especially the finish line I don't even that bad, but here's the thing. It's not a great joke But here's the thing it happened right then in there so when you go on the Twitter when you go on the Twitter

Mm-hmm, and you're looking for information, you're looking for some type of positivity or some type of hope which people do. And then you read a guy who you look up to who is making a fucking joke about it and your friends and family or sister or brother or mother got hurt or might be dead or a little eight year old boy fucking died for nothing because of some savage or savages. And then the guy that you give a fuck about, you're going to his Twitter to maybe read, hey man, I really, you know, I'm connected to this. You know, what Pat and Oswald did.

Yeah, that was good. Okay. And then you read him making a quip, a dumb fucking roast joke. And you get mad. I understand. I'm not saying he should have shouldn't do it. I don't give a fuck what Jessel Neck does. Do whatever the fuck you want. It's like when September 11th happened. May be trees per we're all downstairs Norton. And we're all going on stage. It was eight people here and we're all gonna talk about What happened?

And and Mitch Fatel went up and just did his act Didn't acknowledge it and People got mad at him. Let's see from the is he's not from New York. He's from New York He is that's what you can your comic at the time right it doesn't matter if you're from fucking Idaho You're a New York comic at the time of September 11th. You're a New York, is he? He is from New York. He is? That's what he's gonna do. Can you come at the time? Right. It doesn't matter if you're from fucking Idaho. You're in New York, comic at the time of September 11th, you're in New Yorker.

Right. You know what I mean? And he just did his act. And we were like, you're not even gonna fucking acknowledge it. You're not even gonna say, hey, come out of character and just be mitt for a second and just say,

and people were mad at him about that. And he was like, no, fuck you. Like, no, this is what I do. It's like, I don't, I don't know if that's the word. It's like, that's why I hated Anthony's tweet because he was so disconnected. Like they hadn't even released the names, the people that had died yet. It was so fresh, but like he was disconnected from any kind of empathy towards it. Like, yeah, but his comedy is disconnected It's not connected to anything. He's connected to writing fucking his actors like tweets It's like all tweets. They're like one liner. Yeah, that's his act is he's act is fucking one lineers

It's it's a it's a hint of a character that he does of this cocky I'm like fucking I'm the shit guy and then he tells jokes, which is what I mean I'm not saying that's bad a good. I don't I'm not saying I don't give a fuck millions of people like the guy his shows fucking great You know he's it people You know what I mean? I'm not saying it's good about the Winkle Vos twins from the the Facebook movie He's like a dick from Harvard You don't like Anthony. That's what I'm I'm trying to Look I like this kid. I like it. I think I think you might be taking that fucking seat at the end son

Interesting fucking quit for that half hour. Well put fucking I have no opinion at the end Over to the side next day for stuka done. What do you got jump on in what do you got what what I have what about this? We don't have about in what do you got what what do I have what about this what I'll have about In what in general jet jessel next what we're just talking about jessel next. Hey, that's what he does He just tweets out shit to piss people off. He did it during the Aurora shooting This is what he do what he do during the road He was like and besides that how is the rest of the movie? He had like a tweet like that like did he get trouble for that? Yeah, like people were like how are you gonna make for the Aurora shooting then Dane got a bunch of shit because he talked about it on stage This is just what he does

Yeah, I think it's what we do as comics me look you have a right to make fun of certain things cuz your father passed away You get mad at me. Yeah, people come on to me as a show that like you have no right to make fun of that I was like I have every fucking right to make fun of that. So do you do you do you agree with what he did? Do you think it's do you think it was funny? No, I don't think it's funny. I don't think it was it wasn't a good joke. It's not particularly good joke That's the thing if it's a good joke you're almost like I don't know but Dane's Aurora joke was pretty funny. What was it? It was he was just like the dark night was fucking awful So there's a good chance before somebody walked in during the movie. They were like, oh, I just wish somebody would shoot me And then I left I left. I giggled.

I think the shit, I don't know, there's a fine fucking line. But it's like Louie got in trouble during right after 9-11 for making that joke of, you're getting off in between. Yeah, you can tell how bad of a person you are with how long it took you to masturbate after the tires were done. Did he get any beef though?

I never really heard of it. He got banned from the seller, that's what he said. He got banned from the seller for like a month because of that joke also in those days though There was no Twitter and Facebook so it takes a while before that information to go around Yeah, that it was in a special you know, I mean like it's now it's and it was a good joke Yeah, I found it I found a fucking hilarious Yeah, I mean you're gonna get a bunch of people that go do do do gives a fuck and then a bunch people are gonna give a fuck

Yeah, it actually helps me when I hear 911-11-11, I feel better about it. I like when people- About Zach Galaphanakis says the best one. What's up? We were you in September 11th, he goes, what year? I'm one of my favorite jokes ever. I think, I think Jaisal Nax joke is a little,

it just, it seems rushed. It's a little like Jesus Christ, dude. And then the fact that he took it down. It's like, you know what I pick it down. That's what I don't understand. If that's your thing and you're the guy and that's your thing, so which are you? Are you picking it's very cool.

It's very corporate. Very corporate Dan move. Would you have done something like new now? You wouldn't have tweeted something. You're an emotional guy. You're connected to a lot of shit. I'm trying to connect with my emotions, and it's awful. Get why drinking was so much important to me.

To me, I just don't like upsetting people. I was there, we were at the bar, we were making a ton of jokes about it away from people with my friends that I know aren't gonna be upset. I feel horrible that people are dying. I don't want people to die. But I mean, we make horrific jokes off here,

because it's funny, we know who I don't like upsetting people, I don't like dealing with people being like fuck you for making that joke, so I'm not gonna publicly make jokes, certainly not about the survivors or people that are not the survivors, I'm making jokes about me being a survivor, but the people that are fucking injured and die, but I don't like upsetting people, so I like to make jokes to people that I can be upset, I might make a joke to you, but not over the air, because there's gonna be a thousand people that, I don't like offending people.

I don't like people that are upset with me. Well, yeah, you don't, I mean, look, just, there's somebody who went to that marathon. There's a lot of people that went to that marathon with a smile on their face. And now they have no limb or a family member's dead or people are, you you know really severely hurt and and not only that They're in terrible fear which sometimes can be worse than the injuries some people that run marathons and trained

The whole life and we're runners. Could you imagine? Can you imagine? Could you dedicating your whole life to running? But could you imagine all the fat guy who lost the weight and had the goals and, you know, I'm gonna do the marathon and he's doing it and he is almost there. And then all of a sudden, he's like, no, no, no, stop.

What do you mean stop? Yeah. What do you mean? Dude, I'm fucking, what? Are you shitting me? Yeah. I'm fucking 10 minutes away. It's like when you go from anger to sadness quickly,

where you're just furious. Like why can't I stop? And like, oh, there's an explosion. You're like, shit. Does everybody get a medal? I mean, did everybody finish? Well, there was a thing that was happening outside. I mean, I was there all day.

There was people wearing medals. They were like hiding their medals. The people that finished to keep them from the people that couldn't finish. So they weren't like, you know, brag it, because they felt, everyone felt bad, the people that did get to finish. So they like,

you see the looters? What? What people were looting? Fucking, this is, this kills me. This fucking kills me. And these, you know, back in the day when they used to fucking stone people, put them in stockades.

Fuck, I don't fucking disagree with that shit. When they can't people, I'm fine with that. And these people should be cained. They a box of, there was this big tent of, of, you know, marathon adidas jackets for the marathon runners that you get when you finish. And then all these fucking savages. And before, all mostly white people by the

way because it's Boston and that's mostly white people. But yeah, there was all these before people could carry it away. It's all I mean old white dudes and old white women rummaging fucking looting these these bags because all the employees had to run and help dying people. Yeah, in a quarter legs blown up. Yeah, and these savages, they got video. Fuck the gravity jacket, don't have gravity fucking jacket. They brought this a launch. Fuck you, get a medium toe.

Sully and fucking twod, watch jackets. They were, this is the funniest thing though though is they were picking the jackets up and Like looking around like you can just take one. Oh, they were looking around like at other people like okay And they just would walk away like I guess you can just take one and they'd walk away and then you see them Like look around and then what you could see them processing this is bad I shouldn't do this and then they'd walk back and go fuck it. I'll grab one and then they they'd walk and they go grab another one because they'd see other people fucking just Once one person get fuck it. I'm getting nine of these then every that happened to me one time at an arosmith concert

There was all these fucking long time ago all these Your big fan Steve and Tyler's new all there all their posters were on the wall We were in backstage in line to meet the band. Yeah, we were like fucking 40 people that got to meet the band and There was a line all these posters Arishmith posters on the wall permanent vacation posters and I looked up and I was like I got nothing to sign and I just Grabbed a poster and then everybody went, you can do, and they were just gone. Like, savages just started ripping these posters off the wall.

And the guy was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck it. It's a group mentality. The grossest thing about this jacket thing is, I bet a lot of them are on sale on eBay. I bet people went home and put them up on sale on eBay. It's like a collector's item from the fucking bombing. Yeah.

Because that's how fucking sick and they should the people are they want to make a profit i can't fucking believe that yeah fucking put it on ebay get fucking for the dollars makes me sick that was not my uncle told me that they were people like like just random people come up and take them like trapped no Jesus well yeah how about when you go down to 9 and 11 back then they had the Asian ladies with Photos there was selling photos of the planes going into the buildings and the buildings collapsing Yeah, fight all I'm like are you shitting me and nobody fucking put a stop to this because we're fucking America

If that was some Arab country they would be all right. Let's get into some hate They would be honestly God. They'd be beheaded Yeah, or if they were selling American flags back in their own country And their own country and well they probably put a fucking viper on their dick tip Viper on a dick tip I don't want to find I don't want to break up the room though here and this could cause a lot of trouble, but it's weird to be like that says we're in America but our government did a attack and started 12 year

war with a country that had nothing to do with it as a result they had weapons of mass destruction Dan I don't like the fact that Joe comes up here like we're a proper danda it was proven WMD's might have been manufactured in Iraq and yeah he gasped the curds So he heard his own people so if you want to come up here and take my guns and tell me that America didn't liberate Iraq and they are better for it So find those headphones with the brown things it looks like you're in a chopper Drop the oven to the

Click sounds it's rightado the chopper south field Allowing that thing is like it's right in there. Gee, she got a big pussy Gee, she got a big because of the echo So so where were you you went to the marathon? I went to the socks game and then went to but what's crazy This is a fun story actually. I don't think this can be a fun story And this ends with a terrorist attack. I don't think it's a fun store I Went to the socks game I go over here the socks game the marathon and that's it's a big day for us

It's a holiday Patriots day. It's my favorite day. I was in Boston. You didn't even invite me Sorry, I was in Boston from my baby shower I know you didn't that's why you shower well only women go you you it's my from my wife. I like musicals Well, I'll let you know that the baby shower is when friends and family well only women go you do you do you do my for my wife i'd like musicals uh... well i'll let you know that the baby shower is when friends and family uh... send give gifts to me and don for the baby on the amazon link uh... there's a registry on amazon and uh... i'll can i tell you i'm gonna i'm gonna say this

uh... Can I tell you, I'm gonna say this. Yep, we, my side, Dawn's side of friends and family, friends actually, probably 15, 16 people have gotten us major gifts. And on my side, one, one friend, one fucking friend one Fucking friend not Fucking anybody in this room, but hang on I'll bring your gift from the babies born hang on

I was busy calling you when you get your glass. I put it. Thank you. I don't even put you guys because you guys but not Nobody not one Joe the Rosy didn't send not one fucking dera not and calling Not one Joe the Rosadon son not one fucking Norton Colin Fucking Not even like a random bit no definitive punch. Tammy pescat Ali. Dane should send you a new baby. Tanny Tammy pescat. Telly. She's great. I love Tammy. Tammy fucking bought me a really Not even like you know a onesie. You know how people get onesies, which is fine

I love that you know diapers or something like that. That's fine She's she got me a fucking great gift not that you guys have to cuz you're young you don't have that much money You know you're right on the cusp of fuck you do I got a I got a Personal ordered thing that I have not I'm gonna give to you whatever Hope it's a fucked all What can I get you a baby a gift from the baby's born? Whatever my point is My point is when people went hey, would your friends get I had to go ah nothing my friends got my me and my wife

Not one we got your babies back. That's what we do We'll fight for your baby. All right soda got me a 90-day slash birthday gift. I didn't get shit from you Dude I gave you fucking fame. I bought it. It wasn't for my birthday. I bought Pete the love of an older man. That's what I got Pete. That's for his birthday.

I gave him the older brother that warns him away from alcohol. I've been under your wings in so 16. It is, and let me tell you just like the spars. Really? I've been at my first show ever. Fucking. Really? Yeah, he's good dude He texted me back if you know what I mean What does that mean?

Just like the Spartans I pick right that'll like kids sort of text me back But he never treated me like a kid. Yeah, you're not getting my number Said in Bobby snapchats. I love that Joe's like, Joe's like going into this long story. And he's like, you know, it was, I was there. And then Bobbie's like, and my fucking friends didn't get me. I know. I'm sorry. And not even on the, if, if, if it was like two months after the baby was born, I'd be like, Oh, fuck, we blew it. We didn't get the, yeah, what's up with the halfway through the pregnancy no gift The gift Shower the baby

Shup you don't get the gifts hey asshole. I need it when the baby comes not too much after the day I need diapers up to get you fucking I need bottles I don't I need it before the baby comes because I, because when I don't have bottles and baby diapers, because I'm waiting for your fucking gift in the mail. I waited to Lewis's son already got his first arrest before I got him a gift. I actually just got his gift.

A couple weeks ago because I was like, geez, I want to give him that guy. So I gave him some money. I guarantee I get the same ones he's back. I'm working on the kiss. Yeah, he's a fucking moose. Free bed. He's moose.

He's trying to tell us that he's losing why he's in some of the best show he's live. I'm like, dude, you're fat. He looks like a wolf. Calling anyone a moose. He's a little bit. Here's a deal. I could do it because I'm a fucking moose.

But a 2.90, 2.98, I think I was, 298. 272. Winging from revere, Massachusetts. Fighting in the... Medfair, whatever. One of the victims of Medfair. What? One of the fatalities is from Medfair. I know. One of the girls, the girl. Yeah. Thanks for stepping on my fucking

Boxing a drummer. I can't do it now. Sorry guys So Joe you were there the guys in Aurora went to my high school Tight now So you were so you're in being town you're out you're you're going to your annual annual trip that you didn't invite me to right Right right what yeah, because you're at the baby shower that you didn't invite Monday Monday first of all you don't get to come to the baby shower it's for women well that's where I would have got you a gift what is it I'm not invited to the baby show you're not invited to this I didn't get your gift what do you matter I'm at this I'm at it that you're I'm at it you're in Boston and you didn't fucking

call I was with Gary gomen I plugged it nine times on this fucking thing I don't fucking find out where my friends are through plugs in Twitter my friend calls Twitter I'm with you at the fuck I'm here talking to you every You doing my friend my friend calls me you knew I was in Boston. I didn't know you were in Boston You knew I was in Boston. Well, how did I know you're in Boston? Tell me swear on you a fucking mother's life You didn't know I was in Boston. I swear on my mother's life, how did I know you were embossed? Tell me, swear on your fucking mother's life. You didn't know I was embossed. I swear on my mother's life that I didn't know you were embossed. You like your mother? I love my mother.

All right. There was a birthday recently. Happy birthday. Happy birthday Mrs. Lyft. I wish you're happy birthday on Facebook. Oh, that's really sweet of you, man. I did not. I appreciate that.

I want to call her. I'm so you're embossed. I'm a fat jerk. So you're in Boston. You would eat jerk. Is your mother fat? No. No, jeez. All mothers are fat.

She's squishy. Yeah, all moms are fat. Squishy. So I said I went to the film. With gummin. With gummin. That was Saturday. I was with gummin.

Great show. It was real fun. Boo-oo-oo-boo. Who's the show more packed than my show? I don't want to answer that. It was, right? It was pretty wild. It was perfect.

It was sold out. But you were there fucking twice in three months. Was it sold out? It was. It was close to sold out. Jesus Christ. Fucking Boston. We just had a special year, a letterman. You were there twice in three months.

Go ahead. We talked about how much we love you in the green room. I love Gary Gohmann. I love him too. I love you too. I love you too. You are my favorite people in the world. This is great.

I love this. I do. I hate Pete I actually I like Pete even though he looks like he ain't it successful. Yeah, he looks like he's fucking walking dead Cheshire cat. Yeah, I would have been a lot less to Pete had I known he wasn't black. I thought he was black I really did The racist the racist part is a joke, but I really didn't think you were black. A lot of people do. Or half black. Yeah.

So you're in bean town? I didn't know about your dad. I'm sorry. I don't know about it. Go ahead. I won't. I was. Go ahead left.

I was in Boston. Much of the socks game, of course. Socks went in their last at bat. It's wild. We go nuts. Great game. So then it's time to go to the marathon. I was like, we'll head down to the finish line, which is where I go every year leave the socks go to the finish line

Where do you stand at the fit right at the the end like beyond the finish line or I usually well I mean you make your way down. It's a whole block body. I've never been you should go go next year It's gonna be fucking great I'll be there I'm going next year with you. Yeah, let's go. I want to do it. Let's all go next year Let's fucking go do it. We'll do it live. You know what dude from, let's go. I want to go to there. Let's all go next year. Let's fucking go. We'll do it live.

You know what, dude, from Centafield bleachers. I know I'm going. Let's do it. I got the, I got, I got, I actually, we could do a podcast from the finish line and the, I have this certain system we can hook up. We could actually do it at the game. That'll be a blast.

Okay, let's go. Go ahead. We'll get some fans to go, too. Very fun. Next year. So you're walking down. So I leave the socks here. No, so then we're leaving. And it's like kids day at Fenway,

they're letting all the kids walk, go in the field and run the bases. And so we're like, we want to go in the fucking field as me and my buddy Jason Cantor is a comic, my buddy Bart, my uncle Dale. And so we're all going down there and we're like, all right, we got to find a kid, we got to pretend that we're with the kid.

We got to come to the Y. We got to do something, we got to find a kid. We got to pretend that we're with a kid. We got to come to the Y. We got to do something. We got to get on the field. Hey, who are you, mister? I know you, mister. Hope ahead of the day you know me. You're not going to be able to do that next year. So then we walk down there and like nobody's, I mean, ironically, there's just no security. No one, they're just standing there waving everyone in.

The whole fucking tons of people going. So the four of us just walk on to the field. We're on fucking the field at Fenway Park. It's the craziest thing I got great pictures. The highlight of that, pesky's pole, is like a marker, like a string attached to it, or marker attached to the pole by a string that all the fucking players sign.

And there's just like two, eight year old kids just scribbling their names, signing pesky's pole and like a cop and like a security guy coming running over, they're like, you can't do that. There's just children. Who the fuck the fuck what how funny is that though? It's fucking funny, but it bugs me Because for the players they're not usually people in the field this is what bugs me is it the fucking father those two maggots Those fucking little maggots where was he?

Where was she he was having a Budweiser going fucking sign it? Where was he? Where was she? He was having a Budweiser going fucking sign it Sign the name don't sign on the fucking your skrims. He's now fucking put it over Put it over his name Fucking clock Saka based on this room. There's a 75% chance he wasn't there. Oh That fucking deserved a little more. It was pretty good. It wasn't harsh. It wasn't insensitive I think My dad here don't have a dad my dad don't have one present when I'm the fuck now in hot water Can I take that down that joke?

I actually like it. I thought it was a great joke. I thought it was good to you. You're insecurity fucking What do you mean my insecurity was silent for fucking form is we were taking it in like Just staring at me. I look male both Kelly's tips just staring at me with anger. Who's a favorite on deck? Oh I wasn't a reach me I might have been the best joke on me all day. I mean all day I had a speech that was an American hero and mine was a ton of fun. Yeah, I was a Vietnam vet that had a fucking drinking problem I'm sorry, but the other three my name was in the Navy the other three. I don't know we talk I'm vet that had a fucking drinking problem. Sorry.

What about the other three? My name was in the name. The other three? I don't know. We talked. Not the two of my own. Not the two of my own horn, but my dad was in AA before he went down. Hey. Hey.

I brought my 90-day ship to the ball game because I knew it was going to be a rough one. A good for you, man. You survived it. Yeah. So you're on the field with a bunch of kids. So we go on the field and then we get down to the infield and then parents to the left. Kids to the right. My buddy Jason was like, well, I'm going on the field and he's like, I'm running the bases.

So he just walks into a little kid. He's like, you're with me and the kids like, what? And he just pushes him and runs out the field. Jason canteries and media. Yeah, I know. The bald guy. Yeah, he's got a good rep. So he runs out of character.

Yeah, he would meet kidder. I'll punch your mother in the con. But mister, grab him by the back of the ear. Let's go. In the kitchen in the chest, it was crazy. No. So anyway, he runs out. It was like Rudy though.

He's running home. He touched his home plate. So we spend like 45 minutes. We're just walking on the ball, but we're just on the field. It's the fucking craziest moment of my life. Right. I'm the dugout. I have crazy pictures.

There's wild. We come out. And as soon as we walk out, like Dennis, oh, not Dennis, he usually does the show, but Tim Wakefield is doing the post game show and I'm jumping in behind the camera and stuff. That was you? Yeah, yeah. Do you see me? No.

But first TV credit, nine years. You get so excited. You may have seen him behind Tim Wakefield. Anyways. So then, that's the guy. So then we walk back to the race, we get to the race, and we stop in UNO's for a beer, they had a beer, and we walk in, that's when we found the news, it just broke. But if we hadn't got on the field, we would have been a lot closer, I'm not saying I would have been fucking attacked whatever, but my sneaking out of the field really helps,

then we were at UNO's, and then it was just fucking crazy. Now crazy this fucking podcast would have been if we had one of the fucking victims on Well, I'm a survivor. I'm not a victim of a survivor. I'm kidding I'm glad I'm I'm fucking so glad that you're you have creepy fucking tendencies and that you wanted to hang around little kids and run out of field. Oh, it's great So that is crazy, but then that's when it gets crazy because all the cell phones went down and shit Yeah, you know why they went down right my mother called me crying like everyone is like 50 people phones went down and shit. You know why they went down, right? My mother called me crying, like everyone was like 50 people.

I feel really a lot of love. Do you know why they went down, right? Well eventually they shut them down. They shut them down. That came afterwards, but first, because everybody gets on the clogs system, you're done. So it shuts them down. And then they shut them down

because they were gonna set off the bombs. They don't know of the actual cell phone use. You ever hear like, give them to next something electronic, and you hear like a staticie, like a song, that's your phone, fucking with that. Yeah, it's on a radio wave, so it could set off shit.

Well, what was crazy is, did you run, did you go to to try to help, or did you just stay where you were? I mean, we were a mile away, and it was fucking, it was a marathon, that's not that long, far away. But it was locked down, wasn't it? It was on a marathon runner.

It got pretty wide down. It was a walk away, a mile away is not a, it's right after it's there. It's there to talk to walk a mile. If you can hear, if you can hear the boom, you're right there. Did you hear the boom? We didn't hear a boom, and we were a mile away.

And then it was, we found out 15 minutes after it happened I'll go fuck yourself so I don't know so does just takes the opposite side now Monster now you do So then oh what was crazy is like my parents are trying to call me and I was getting text But I couldn't send text out and then my like my father was constantly trying to answer I was like hello and It was like hey is Michelle there and I was like, hello, and it was like, hey, is Michelle there? And I was like, what?

And it was some guy answering my shout. I was like, oh, this is the wrong number. And then my mother had the same thing, like she thought she was calling me. Like all these lines were crossed. It was fucking spooky. And then the JFK library thing happens, which they thought was a bomb at the time.

Yeah. And then there was a rumor that there was a bomb at Harvard. And then my friend, who's a family friend, who's a cop, was like, get out of the city. My dad's like, get the fuck out. So I'm getting these texts. They're all like, get out of cop was like get out of the city my dad's like get the fuck out So I'm getting these texts are all like get out of the city get out of the city my phone was dying I couldn't text anyone back my girlfriend was fucking losing her shit But these intense, but do you know my I don't do you get out of the city?

Do you run the fuck out? Do you go the other way? Oh, do you go to help? Well, I mean there wasn't really an option. I mean there's 20,000 people between me and the fucking site. It wasn't like I was gonna run down there and 20 minutes had passed. I mean, it was going to get out of there, so we just kind of stood still. If I feel like, I think your method is right. If you hear the boom, you should go running towards it. No, you shouldn't. I'm not saying that.

Well, I'm saying that. I'm asking if that's what you did. I think if you need to get you and your friends, the fuck away from it. Yeah as soon as something bad happens You leave you don't go to it. You're gonna stand there's people If we all go down to it where like his father and those people who know how to save lives know how to fucking You're gonna be in their way. You're gonna fuck shit up,'s like Humpty Dumpty what do you mean well then you don't that it kind of looks like it's fine he dumped it was in a wall Humpty Dumpty fucking had a

great fall Humpty Dumpty all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again there was too many people no that's not why it's not at all he just was an eggie could you take that you took that riddle far too. Yeah, that's what it's about, isn't it? No, the nursery rhyme is not about that. I don't know, he just fell off a wall and he was an eggie, a fucking nut.

Don't put eggs on walls, hello? Yeah, and then- Don't put an egg on a wall. Yeah, don't make a building out of egg or the guy, the cops and the firemen can't put it back together again. They get out of steel and fireproof, retarded. Fucking drywall.

I can. Oh, try. Listen, I think I can union job. Me and my wife have a look, something happens. You walk to the house. We meet at the house and then we both leave together. Wherever the fuck you are, if you're home, stay home. Wait for me.

Lock the doors, shut the fuck, duct tape the windows up, whatever the fuck it is. You want to give her the last of the Mohican speech? I will find you! No matter what, I will find you! Why was the Indian having English accent? He had it in the movie. I know. I've always fucked me up when they just keep. He's a German, he's from England. I just watched an old western from the 60s and they all had really nice teeth

And it fucked up the whole movie for me right once upon a time in the West to see a Sergio Leone film I watched it and everyone's got a macular teeth and I was like I can't fucking Brave hearts like that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Brave heart. They all have great given clean eastwood as perfect teeth Yeah, these people had this man I'm saying is I could be in a western yeah, Joe's got western mouth Joe's got it just came off the prairie for a fucking glass of beer mouth as the policy is get the mouth of it of a British nanny They were eating apples I go you want some floss? He goes not any floss. We're gonna need floss of turn apple goes No, I have the mouth of a jack-a-lantern

You want some floss? He goes, no, I don't need floss. You don't need floss after an apple. He goes, no, I don't have the mouth of a jack-a-lantern. I heard it go on somebody said that if you have crooked teeth, you teeth looks like they're throwing up gang signs. That would be a good. You need to stay a couple more years, you'll be funnier. No, but, uh, uh, uh, uh, well, thank that. I didn't even want to say it.

Do me a favor, tie it up tighter so you see it. So you can make it higher. Stop hanging out with kids that make shitty gang girls. Don't even hang to sit. Do me a favor, tie it up, tie it up, so you can see it. So you can look at it. Yeah, hire. And stop hanging out with kids that make shitty gang girls. Don't even hang out with kids and gang. You don't have to hang out with kids. You don't have to hang out with kids. He's got a 1987 joke from Colors.

Yo, man, you're teeth are fucking making gang. Yo, man. The funniest teeth thing we're going to train and Patrice we're going at in front of the seller. And you know, you know, those spaces between his teeth. Yeah, my father your tongue your teeth so fucked up It looks like your tongues and jail bitch Shit, um, you can use it on the next podcast not this one though um, I

Think you run away. I don't think I mean I wouldn't want you to fucking run to it unless that you heard on the news, we need you, we need people. I'd fucking go back immediately. But I think you get the fuck out. You take your family and you get the fuck out. I have a certain amount, I don't have a, you know, a doomsday prepper bag, but I have a couple things that when if something goes wrong I got cash because you're gonna need fucking cash. I'll tell you this stuff the electricity goes down and you don't go fucking cash man. I'm not a hot wire a fucking scooter and I'm learning how to pick locks. If you have a listen. I am. I

bought a lock picking kit and you're gonna have your uh... your your what's your go your go runner i have my idea of the honestly god though i have i just had a uh... uh... custom uh... survival knife made okay if you ever listen to laslo you know your friend from rockstar games let's not get carried on that

well when he and during Harry Kane's Sandy, he had thousands of dollars that he put in his garage just for in case anything happened. Like, I'll just have a few thousand in cash. And then when Sandy came, he saw a area was just destroyed. And he was the only one who actually had cash. Cause no ATM, no power, no... And now that you just announced that,

you're gonna go to a garage and fucking, well, I don't to be blamed for it though I'm going to blame for a fucking some YKWD fan breaking to Lazlos garage but now he's spent it because she got fucked up yeah I know there was some guy where you're talking to some runner I think it was Australian actually and he's like yeah last year mate he goes I was supposed to do fucking

the New York marathon got canceled because of the hurricane this year this It's like I swear to god I'm fucking cursed life What if it was slightly a slightly self-centered, but what if it was him though? It was cursed. I always think that too What if he was the person he's like I came to America On in September to see in two days and one to see the buildings They've had blana He hasn't won to see the buildings. They said, Blanna. I was the enraura to see the dark night rises.

Is this Kelly? Hey, God got shot. No, that's Kelly brother. He's a evil twin brother. I went to a comedy club to see a good show. And Kelly first took it to the guest spot. I used the biggest boomer saw all my life. And I was at the wheel trade 94 and that one.

Yeah, good job everybody. He wheel trade 94 and that one Everybody's the Everyone shit the whole show tanks the body look at the You know what I went with the text was it was about a gig for you. Oh, yeah, yeah for you and me Oh, great. Oh, are you cool now for me looking at the text corporate Jay bring on Jesus Christ I don't know what that is I don't know what it is. I was just saying that look I'm trying to fucking find a gig for you Me and you so I can work together manager sure isn't And I'm trying to get Kelly on the gig to to host it. Oh now you're happy. Yeah, I will Fun yeah You've done it to host it. Now you're happy. I will. I think Joe, have fun with that. Yeah.

You've done it. Oh, no. He's Bobby and ass chest. That's just. Looks like it's got a good butt. Boy, look at that. Kelly, you got great boobs. Yeah, at all.

The arms are terrible, but the boobs are fresh. Actually, like the arms. I like them too. I like the arms. They go well with the tits. Yeah. I like the cheese. I'm a big I like it. I like it. She's Shut up No, man, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, with just an empty fucking straightaway. It was really bizarre, it was just eerie. That's how I would describe it.

It wasn't too scary, it was just not being able to get in touch with everyone because I then had just no phone at all. And people were freaking out, I felt guilty for that. So we just kept walking around, and we're like, I don't know what else to do. I just hope we don't get bombed. There's nothing I can't control in any of it.

Now you can't, that's the sad part is you can't control where and when the shit's gonna happen. Yeah, so you just gotta, you know, it's your fate. How'd you get home? Eventually the start of running the trains again, I took the commuter reel back to my parents house. Where is it?

Where? To Whitman. Whitman, where's Whitman? So sure, next to Brockton. Right. How many hours after the first bomb tool when you got home and you could see? Uh, like, it's probably six hours or so. Oh,. No one knew what happened to you for six hours. Well some people

I mean I got I managed to Get on Facebook and then my girlfriend tweeted it that I was fine whatever as most likes have ever got on Facebook It really felt a lot of love how many? 260 or something You know what dude fans making dumb pun jokes. Like what? I don't know, sounds like a blast. I heard you bombed whatever the fuck.

That's why I didn't want to. Which again, I don't care. But like I'm like, my family's reading this. They hate you, but people don't. That's the thing, is that your family, these people forget that it's not just you that is reading this. My family family my cousins

This this corporations that might hire me to do shit. You don't even this People's fans real class. Yeah, they they look at you guys Like I deleted a few people. I did it first of all, you know, I deleted a couple some kind of called me a fuckhead It's like dude, you don't get to do that Just have no way you don't get to call me. No, he's talking to Anthony about something. He was like, that blah blah. You a fuckhead. It's like, you, are you out of your fucking mind calling me a fuck? What are you fucking nuts? Yeah. Are you fucking? You don't fuck. I don't know. I'm not your nephew. I'm not your little fucking nephew. Come here. You fuck head now your little fucking

Vekion and I watched a comedian that had opened for him on the road make a bunch of really shitty jokes Right about the Boston marathon and people were like Vi- like fuck you that's not funny. You shouldn't make jokes The guy was like trying to be funny. And then back he backpedaled. And Vecchio and I were having the best time watching him backpedaled. Cause he's like, oh, that's so weird. Someone hacked my account. I can't believe they made this joke.

Oh man, this is not funny. I can't believe my account got hacked. Then he deleted all the jokes he made and deleted the post-bury backpedaled. Ah. Really? The beat. It's beautiful.

It's weird. Like I said, just doing it publicly. You make jokes to each other whoever you I don't know it's very strange just be like here to go three million people Funny tragedy Like you said though if you're gonna make a joke take the hit back up the joke and you know like Justin that took it down Was he told to take it down to the comedy yeah but okay but you can say no and then they're like you know like all right no second season for you but I mean I can't be comedy central I mean he even he did that I only saw one episode of his show I thought it was great that cancer award thing I don't if you saw that sketch which was unbelievably incensive I thought it was hilarious

and that was on the air so right but maybe he has a publicist or something I don't know or maybe he was getting death first look here you Me personally, I'm an emotional fucking asshole I'm I'm just get emotional with that shit. So when I'm looking I'm I'm going on Twitter and Facebook to look for the the real shit Like I like pat and all is well that really affected me that was that type of shit I'm like god damn it man. That's I like that. I like when somebody who you least expect fucking opens up and surprises you with with

You know Some type of emotional value or connection to something that you had, but you didn't have to put in the words Yeah, you know, that's why I didn't put anything because I'm not gonna joke about it And I didn't want to joke about it and I didn't want to I just didn't want to I don't know I just want to have your sincerity mocked at I yeah, I don't want to be sincere and have these fucking assholes mock it But also to it's like I don't, who am I to fucking hey guys? I hope who the fuck am I? Yeah, I felt weird like that.

I sent out a tweet and I was like, how did I do that? Yeah, you feel weird like, hey, my thoughts and prayers with everybody from Boston. That's what I said. But then you're sitting there, these people going, who the fuck are you? Nobody cares about you. And you're saying, right when I hit send, I was like, yeah. Yeah, but they, I guess they do. I don't know.

Yeah, like, I mean, it's better to say pray for better. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Because saying nothing, saying nothing, kind of like if you say nothing and then you like tweet a joke like a day, like on the same day, I knew I was going to talk about it on here.

Okay. I knew that we were going to talk about it here. So I knew that I would be, I can express how I feel about something in a couple hours, not in 140 characters. Right. I just... I don't think it's fine to say nothing. That's like a problem with our fucking society now. It's everybody has to say something.

Yeah. Everyone has a microphone. It's like, she pelted that the fucking the jaw rule bit with 9-11. He's like, we're here with jaw rule, and he's like, I got some questions that fucking jaw rule can't answer right now. Not everyone has to put in their fucking dumb, two cents.

Right. I think the less, that's a new thing. That's a last five years thing, where every single fucking person has to be like, I think this, I think that, we should pray, we should go to war. We should suck a dick, we should not finish the finish line. It's just a, it's like a new, weird thing. Someone put a tumbler together of the most ignorant tweets that they found after the attacks And it was Infuriating some of these people what the last tweet where they were like it was this chick

And I almost want to follow her on Twitter to see how fucking ignorant she is what it say it said This is what Boston gets for supporting the gaze Like that was her real like she tweeted that not as a joke like fucking I believe this. Yeah, but it was that Jesus that's so fucked up. There was there was a really the best tweet I saw was so I guess we're cheering for the Celtics against the next this week That I thought that was funny because the next I finally do and well. Yeah, I left pretty good Yeah, I mean, and it's gonna all come on the wash. I mean, I got mad at terrorists again. I got mad at the fucking, you know, that typical racist Boston fucking goddamn fucking hours. You should have wiped them out. Fucking no come tear

they go. Yeah, I mean, I was in that bar and you could hear the fucking anger. Fucking, we should go find them right now. Yeah, but it's probably gonna turn out to be a loan low-level is there anything that you look at i don't know if you have a fucking magic uh... uh... white white male i think that they're putting it all together again to get the guy but uh... they saw somebody on a roof the roof i got a lot of the finish

also that i think they're a photo of a guy carrying a a double bag yeah under his arm right like a bill filled with something, like a lot of shit. It's weird how many rumors, that was the part where it was 9-11-esque to me was all the rumors going out there. Where now there's a bomb at Harvard. They found five other bombs, which is not true. They have a fucking Saudi kid.

There's a Saudi Arabian kid, which is not true. That wasn't true. That was not true. None of this was true. Really weird, don't you feel like 9-11, where everyone had a rumor in a story and they have ten planes that the white house that actually supposed to be yeah supposed to be targeted at the white house yeah kind of the uh... all this nonsense library

was it a bomb was it like a fire some sort of fire the interview the fuck the arab kid with the roommates yeah and because of his uh... he doesn't you you know, I speak English that well. He sounded guilty. Yeah. Because he didn't, he was, it sounded like he was fucking, you know, like, what, did you, because these reporters are just fucking hammering him. Where were you? Where the fuck? I had to go to the plastic globe. Yeah, I don't know. No, that's Indian. That's all the say It's all the same to me, bro, because I'm an American.

Um, the worst thing. So to say that was a character, it's all the same. I mean, it's all the same, man. Yeah, there we go. I get to do a voice, and they never really know it's a real opinion. He, he, he fucking, yeah, but he didn't, he couldn't answer the questions correctly,

because he didn't understand was being said and he sounded like he was trying hiding something so you could see how you're that's the mother fucker who did it English is a second language he doesn't have to speak it one thing I definitely learned from this whole tragedy is if there ever is a tragedy never listen to the New York Post oh the post was like oh... two hundred dead two hundred dead they got the guy he's a sowny he was planning on killing jitter well that's i patrice's joke with the uh... dc sniper

he goes everybody was it's a white guy that's a white guy mm all it's a serial killer and one of the nigger and a buick but the point goes is about the mind of uh... it's all about his mind uh... but the party goes to the mind of uh... yeah but his mind uh... but the new york post uh... i don't know what that is going well that is the best of first that is a good

mad science and well shrapal shrapal and joker about the dc snapper is they found a terrible card and i was like black people did not do that shit black people don't fuck around terrible cards but the land and maybe think of melanie's bit about the New York Post that it's someone that was told the news by someone that actually read the newspaper. That's how the New York Post reports it. It's um but when you first heard about it, didn't you think that it was

a terrorist attack? Absolutely. What is a terrorist attack? I mean, I meant like, I never thought it was like an Al-Qaeda thing. I mean, don't normally say a day or a few hours later, like, yeah, that was us. Right. I thought I absolutely thought it was like Alcat. I thought it was, I was like, you know, fuck it. No, this had America written all over it. Alcat is like, that was a minimal work. Yeah.

No, I just didn't say like it. That's not what drives me. You'll know if it is us. Yeah. We do the show, right? We have the years with madness. We do not use panic now. I mean, really, you think I'm going to go to Boston.

At that time, you come on. Do you think we're going to actually leave city number on the bottom of the ball? When we blow a bellick, I didn't say anything. Okay, back to it. We, uh, we should. This is domestic terrorists. We just go crossed the ocean. Right away.

Cross the ocean for three lives. Yeah. I'm fucking believe it was. Yeah, I was, uh, I definitely thought it was a terrorist. I mean, uh, okay. It just sucks. It just sucks. I mean,

Heard's even more that I don't have. You know what? Well, I hope it is. I really do. I don't, I don't hope it's anybody. I don't want, let me just rephrase this, because I don't want to get fucking hate mail. I'd rather it be a lone wolf fucking psychopath

so we can find out and solve it and then destroy whatever the fuck connection he has and know about it than it to be those motherfuckers, terrorists. But this is another one coming. I mean, Newtown, that's fucking all kids, a railroad. Yeah, but that was a kid losing his brain That's what this is, but that's what this thing could be okay? Okay? Absolutely, but now we're gonna have to look at

Times Square New Year's Eve. There's no trash brows you have you get stopped Blocks away by cops if you have a backpack and they check it they go around and check No guy in Boston. We got laed a'sicle when it was garbage cans everywhere the people walking around with backpacks listen we're gonna have to fucking tighten up security go back on code yellow or whatever fuck it is and when we have big events where there's a lot

of people there you're gonna have to search everybody just like the games or the airports or whatever you're gonna have to have heightened security again That's why the marathon is so great of a target is that you can't there's a million people and it's not a concentrated They don't have sleep on the air. Here's a deal. Here's a deal now everybody's on high look at at nobody's gonna be able to fly a plane into a building again Because everybody on the plane is like dude, I'm not I'm not letting somebody do it Yeah, if somebody gets up. I got a bomb, I don't give a fuck. Kill me, I'm going to get you.

I'm going to cut you throat with a fucking plastic spork, and you're not driving this plane into a building. Or you can actually take on a small life, no one airplanes. You can't know. But you can't even get into the cockpit anymore. Blah, blah, blah, blah. It's never going to happen. The pilot's actually said after I was talking to one of them

a week after September 11th downstairs, American airline pilot, he goes, we were trained to go outside. So if a terrorist was on the plane, one of us went outside to try to talk to him. That was protocol. Now the doors locked, nobody could get in, it's bulletproof, we do not go outside.

And he goes, if I wanted to, I can literally wipe out all the cabin pressure and put our masks on and everybody you out there who's not buckled in I can make it so that I snap their neck and they're dead Jesus yeah because they they can just know that these are most pilots on commercial airlines a military pilots that's how they got their start was flying in the military Yeah, so there's not there's no dude holding a fucking flight attendant by the neck with a knife is is gonna live Just do is tip the plane a little bit Cox's gonna smash his head and he's dead. You know it was interesting about this

We were talking about everyone throwing their opinions and in I love how politicized America is because the second the attacks happen and everything started sort itself out you saw all the gun nuts being like and i want to take our guns away in this thing happens you like this is not that's not about guns that give we would have had guns you're gonna stop an explosion with a bullet i fucking hate these yeah but here you know look it's just fucking crazy we

not only do we have to worry about all this shit we have to worry about you know mother nature is fucking pounding us too uh... i'm really glad Joe's alright i'm i would have killed me if something happened i got real nervous that i know either one of you were in Boston and then joe list uh... someone told me if you know if you know i was in Boston you wouldn't call that you't have called that. You wouldn't have called two days later anyways. I didn't know you were in Boston,

but I knew Joe was in Boston. I wasn't invited to the baby show. Oh, she is a lady. You think I would have gone. You would have gone. Actually, first of all, it would have cost us money to have you come. Here's a train ticket.

She's like, here's another train. She's an open. Sorry, I'd be to like seven baby showers of two months, but that's what I got a lot of money. It's fun. She's like here's another train. She's an open. I'd be to like seven baby showers a two months But that's what like I like them. I'm really it's fun You know she just did right there. She was dismissive. Do you really? I love baby showers. Where would you have stayed? Well, I probably wouldn't have gone with it. What a gift?

Here's a deal. You're gonna give when the baby's born. You're right. Oh You're coming you're gonna be over the house with Don. When the baby comes, you're gonna be there. She a wet nurse. What? She like a pregnant now, so I can lactate, so we can just swap over tits. I just, I just wanna see that tits. Yeah, so look at that.

I don't wanna see either one of them. Kelly. Yeah, hey mate. There's gonna be a time. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't had sex in a really long time. No.

No way. You can stay on this podcast. Oh, good podcast You'll have an option. Oh, God. You let me hold one tit and jerk off into a cup. Okay. Well, I don't know man. It's a we're fucking back having this conversation again. Yeah, but you can't really worry about it because there's nothing you can do And this is the other is there's. But you can't really worry about it because there's nothing you can do. And this is what it is. Does that still need something you can do? One, not go to events. Okay, let's go to Times Square and I'll let the other.

Yeah, I don't go to Times Square. I live two blocks away from it. I don't go to Times Square on New Year's Eve. Go fuck yourself. I guess we're working. Okay, yeah, but I don't, I wouldn't either. But the subway, you take the subway? I today, you know what, today,

today I'm not gonna take the subway at fucking from like seven o'clock to 10 o'clock and I'm not gonna take it after the show. I'm taking a cab home. I'm not doing the subway from three o'clock to five thirty. Well, I think you're not taking it after 10 because there's service changes to the N and Q that doesn't run in Manhattan.

So I think that's why. Well, like today I was taking the train down and I'm like, I looked at my watch before I went down. I'm like, oh, this isn't rush hour. It's gonna kill four people on the sea train. But I didn't take the train on Monday though. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I don't feel comfortable taking the subway today.

I took the train and I warned American band thing. All right, here's a deal. You gotta be an American. Fuck terrorism. Get on, you take the head. Go fuck yourself. I'm not saying that, but I mean, what are you gonna do? In six on, you take the head. Go fuck yourself. You're saying that, but I mean, what are you gonna do? In six months, no one will even be thinking of this.

You have to take the eyes, that's not- That's not- I don't think that's true. Two weeks. I always, every time I get on the plane, I eyeball everybody. I see a guy get up during take-off. And people eyeball you.

Yeah, just like a tolam of the fuck. I hope he doesn't stick to me I look like a terrorist like how he said I eyeball people I was good trying to get my redeem myself say it to his face I'm very scared to say it to his face and I love that should be you know I saw you open for day when I was 13. Really? Where?

At the garden. Oh, that was a while ago. Yeah. How many years was that? Hang on. I was like six, six, seven years ago. At the garden, 2006? Oh, no, no, no, no.

When he got the award, right? Yeah. Yeah, that was the 5,000 seed. That was just before daying up big. He did the 5,000 was not fit. You were sick of theater, right? Yes. It's where Eddie Murphy filmed the raw. And then I saw you in the right reading film raw I built

I'm pretty sure not in Madison Square Garden it was in the theater at my own which is five thousand that's a lot of people anyways and I saw the round uh... and on nine oh yeah where was that that's what he did the whole with everybody yeah his friends but I yeah but I yeah, Dan cook and friends But I'm the only actual friend that was on the show and I almost didn't make it. How's that? Barry Katz was like, I don't know, Bonnie. She get the Really, Berk pressure's Fuckin impression of

Territats is so funny. I know that fucking goddamn episode that we had was so good Except somehow the mic's did everybody's mic wasn't trying to pronounce I Blame me I fucked up some I'm you right I believe sprints tell I might put it out anyways as a Thursday fuck you Here's an extra I love I love bird fresh. I love the whole desk. What guy all those guys are great. I only have met Bert Well Rogan and red man and Shafir and all those guys out here are his are his fears moving to new york is i like are you are here are you are you are you are you are you are you are you are

i love to but i i love the uh... mushrooms of the connection those fucking guys all have they all support each other and help each other out in its fucking talon i love those guys anyway so you so here i'm glad you made it back and uh... and i know and then I tweeted out yesterday Somebody tweeted can you retweet this? It's it's a to help out victims Yeah, and then I retweeted and then they like dude that's a stag might be a scam Well, they broke up they broke a story that there is like immediately after the bombing people set up about five dummy

scam accounts Twitter accounts what happens to these fucking people? Well, I want to know when you find out who these people are, I want to know what the fuck happens. I want to know how you prosecute them. I want to know, I want to know the from fucking them going to jail, getting read how much time they do, how their lives change, what gets taken away from them, if they get raped and fucked in jail. I want to know. But what does the spirit of wanna know. What do you expect me to do? What is a sped up? It's no money. It's no money from the dunne.

Yeah, there's no Twitter police though. You can't, it's like fucking one of my friends. Yeah, but you can, you can find out who these people are. Twitter knows who these fucking people are. There's no, there's no like law system for them though. It's called the F fucking BI. F-B-I. F fucking BI.

F fucking BI. Find the bombers. I don't worry about like that about yeah, but they should be worried about these people that are setting up Taking money from innocent people that want to help victims I don't benefit off of a tragedy for no fucking reason nobody should Know it's up with them, but what's about like damn get them? Find the people that took these jackets They should be they should all fucking go to jail. Really? You should go to fucking jail. Not only is it illegal to steal the fact that where you're at is a human at that moment

to disconnect from the tragedy and then be that selfish over a $20 jacket. Yeah. Is fucking beyond me. And there were all adults. If it was a bunch of teenage punks, maybe I'd understand. They're all adults with kids and grandparents and mothers and fathers. Grown genitalia.

They, and it wasn't even homeless people. It was. It was. It's so I thinking about big policies. I just- Speaking of charity money raising, I wanted to plug this great Scott. Next Friday, the Walls Brothers are doing a show

for the victims. They're gonna be in town. Austin. Great Scott. Are you in Boston by any chance? They told me to ask. This week, next weekend. Next weekend?

I might be. And if I can, I love the Walls Brothers. Yeah, and they're doing a thing and if I can I love the wall's brothers Yeah, and they're doing a thing and they're putting together in the their brothers actually like the member of the Boston murder police What do you call that so it's like his voice the police? Homicide Thank you. Thanks for your wise ass answers I like the Kelly had a wise answer and then the right answer at the same time. Oh, yeah, they're called police homicide And then the right answer at the same time. Oh yeah, they're called police.

Homicide. Yeah. Thank you, Jeff. She figured out that he were right. She's zing to me and healthy in the same breath. Buzzing. Yeah, eight o'clock next Friday. If you live in Boston, it's great Scott and Austin.

The wall brothers are the funniest. And they're fucking funny. They're coming to bed. Please follow them on Vine. Yeah, and Twitter and stuff like that. But they're great guys. And they are just on Vine. Don't yeah, Twitter and stuff like that. But they're great guys and they, they are, just on Vine, don't, don't do Twitter. They are, they are Boston.

Yeah, they are. I mean, you can tell by their fucking teeth, they're definitely from Boston. Don't, I got a dead tooth in the front. It's great. Look at it. Look at my hairline. Looks like I should be balding next week, but it's never gonna go away. I mean, I don't think we need to insult them physically.

I love to. I love to. I'm really nice. They're doing a really nice thing. No, they're high enough. Fucking good people, I consider them family. Do you really consider them family? Yeah.

Won't you lighten up? You make fun of me all the time. Well, I consider you family. Oh, let it be no, man. All right, Joe. I'm gonna be no, man. I didn't know, Joe. I didn't know Joe. I thought Joe list does not respect you You're all family to me except for the black kid. I mean what the hell he's Irish. He's black Irish He's not black. He looks he's somebody

Somebody somebody in this room fuck the mind a more. Oh, you know the more the more I read a lot Do you know what the moors are I'll take one of those chesterfields one of the greatest scenes ever ever But in your can't a lope That's romance you know all the movie quotes right in you That's romance you are you know all the movie quotes right in you Joe knows every movie quote is a fuck he was fine. Is he now he's upset? Why is he upset thinking about I'm thinking about you know my life What are you upset about that your wallet is too tight in your front pocket? I'm doing very well these days

Fat wall that not makes sense. I just saw Joe try to fix his upper small lip to cover his teeth. He just tried to, he literally had a stretches mouth out like he had braces. He has to remember to cover his front teeth. Ah, because his mouth doesn't do it automatically. Ah, he's looking good. All right, well, he does look great. Kind of ripped. Now you're not ripped. I'll take my shirt right off.

Do it, do it, do it, do it. I'm not doing that. Do it, do it, do it. I do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it Topic here you did get in a fight with Eric Rivera on Twitter. Yeah, he did Fantastic. Oh, what a great. Kelly. Can I can I just say that I wasn't supposed to get to that it was a joke at first What was the joke who who threw the first fucking I was a little shit about I put you a long uncomfortable fucking arm down Even and I called the mission I called the mayor of Tworpers at the post office Neighbor Getzy to get his opinion. And I saw the man here. Hang on, I will stop really quick.

Right now. It's 10 for our favorite sevener. Right. Night Bargatsy! Guess what? And now a guess spot on the YKWD podcast by Nate Bargatsy. And now a guest spot on the YKWD podcast by Nate Berghetsi. What's up, it's Nate Berghetsi, it's been an exciting week and I'm gonna say what, I've had a lot of stuff this week, it's been very exciting for me and my wife has been out

of town and that is number one. That was number one. That was number one. If you asked me, if you came, it's a Nate, do you wanna do an hour special? And your own hour standup special are your wife can go to a town for a week. I mean, I don't even know. I don't even, like I would need time to decide. Cause you know, it's like,

does anybody even watch an hour special? I don't know. I mean, like I think I will remember my wife going out town more. I think that's what I would remember more. That would be the most to me. It's unbelievable. You don't understand. If you're single and you're listening to this, you think this is stupid. Just imagine when your parents went out of town. Imagine that feeling. You get to fill that again when you get married and your wife goes out of town.

It's that same thing. You need everything to go right. And if you're single and you got a buddy that's married his wife goes out of town, do whatever that guy wants to do. Whatever plan that guy plans, just do it. Just go, okay, I'm in, I'm locked in. Don't mess this up for him.

Don't, this is what he this is always got This is his wedding. This is like a guy's wedding like it needs to be planned perfectly And we don't want to invite people that he doesn't want if I invite you don't go I got my bring my cousin. I don't want you dumb cousin coming alright. He's gonna mess everything up I need this to go terrific. I need this to be exactly how I planned in my head, so I can think about it until my wife goes out of town again in 10 years when she divorces me. So just do that, all right.

Be cool, stick with whatever this plan has got. Thanks everybody for listening. This is Neighbor Getzi, follow me on Twitter, unfollow, you know, are you not done follow them? Just don't pay attention to day and soda. That's all I ask. All right, bye. Alright, you know what else you can do besides listening to this podcast, you can support all the guys on here, including myself, the motherfucker that puts it all together every week, by coming and seeing us live, come see me live, do stand up comedy.

Yes, I do this amazing show and I talk and detain you for two hours once a week, sometimes twice, but I do stand-up comedy. So come, fuck and see it. May 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, guess where I'll be Edminton Canada. That's right, Albert comic strip at the big ass fucking mall. I will be at the house of comedy In that mall the second through the fifth of May, so please get your asses out there buy your tickets spread the word May 10th and 11th. I'm at governors brokerage in Belmore, New York very excited about that. I love that club. Really cool club. They have a lot of fun every time I'm there. So, and they treat me so good. So, make

sure if you're in Long Island, Belmore, New York or anywhere near there come down May 10th and 11th. And then I'm done and I'm gonna have a baby until June 17th. No, actually June 27th, 28th, 29th, I'm at Foxwoods. This is gonna be a fucking, you know what, dude, podcast weekend. We're gonna have some surprised people from the show on the comics Foxwoods show. So make sure you stay tuned for that.

And I think they're putting together a some type of fucking crazy nasty show Saturday night. July 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th, the 20th, the 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th. I'm going to be in Montreal for the Jess Falas Festival. I'm very excited to go back there. I love all those people involved. It's one of my favorite things to do in comedy. A lot of fun, great shows, great people. So Montréal, I'm coming back Canada two times, check that out.

Right now, oh shit, I thought I almost put my pants. I'm in some of the worst fucking hotel ever in Scottsdale, Arizona, about to go to the show at this club that I've never performed at. So wish me luck. Other than that, come see my fucking shows. There it is. So anyways, very funny guy.

Oh, hilarious. So what did Nate say? A couple of you said that. Nate said you through the first bunch. I did, here's exactly what happened. I was at the post office and I go on Eric Rivera's Twitter. Why? I don't know

Can I just say me and Kristen you mean Kristen who's working the cell used to fucking We used to text each other about Eric's tweets Well, I look dude. I'm not the best Twitter. I can't I'm awful. I'm awful I'm really I looked at yours yours are all just thank yous you're right You know what all of a sudden the thank you for looking at my thank you. Yeah, all the good yours yours are all just thank you's you're right. You know what all of a thank you for looking at my Thank you. Yeah, all is there all yes. I have you're you're funny. You I mean you're funny They're me and Dan Dan just thanks people and then I just get get mad at you get mad at people to fuck yeah Yeah, but it's funny. You're very similar to me. I mean I I follow you. I learned it from watching you Bob

I try to tweet out. This is what I try to do. I try to say something funny, or random, everyone's like, wow, I tweet out my fucking gigs. I'll retweet fans or people I think of funny. And then I'll put out Vine videos so you can laugh. Well, I don't even do Vine videos because I'm niceuck. But Burr had a great one recently that I saw on Twitter where some guy was like, really sick of my favorite comedians only using Twitter to promote their gigs and stuff.

And then he put at Louis CK at Bill Burr and Per wrote back. He was like, yes sir, I'm not a writer for your life. I'm not a comedy writer for your life. It's like, I'm not a Twitter. Joe's good at Twitter. I like Joe list tweets. Yeah, some people go to Twitter, some people go to stand up comedy. We're good at stand up Joe's good at Twitter

I mean, I have multiple weapons that I put on stage right and Joe Yeah, but he does have a gray hair today. I don't believe You have fucking insane Joseph I just showed a bit of Tom. I'm about a tongue-tum Now back to Pete. They should be holding a radio over your head in front of a chick you like house in your eyes What we got it John Qsack hair, but I want to give you look like you have it We should shoot a movie where it's like Marlon Brando and John Qsack. Oh, he's calling you Brando

Why don't you write it more film it? I'll write it. I'll film it I'll film it. I'll edit it. I'll edit it and film it I'll edit it and film it. I said you that me my buddy made that I tweeted at you. Yeah, Joe trans. That's right. Yeah, I thought it was awesome I love Joe's vine can I do the voiceover? What the trailer? Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, so write it I'll film it and edit it and you do the voice I don't want to do this. All right, so go ahead long arm Okay, I was at the post office and Eric very tweeted. It was just so awful and then I looked at you know

First of all, you know, Eric's my baby girl. I love Eric my baby girl that Pete's coming in guns blazes I know Eric Rivera. I really did He really just said fucking that joke. He's like, call them a fucking joke box. I have no problem with Eric Rivera. It's like in the wire when the younger kids, like, you know how you fuck with, I was fucking. Yeah, okay.

Because we've been friends for a couple years. And Eric Rizves, still. And he's like a bullfighter. Yeah, he looks like a hot fuzz from that 70 show. So he, you know, he's not a good one. She laughs only. I used to give her the bandana for that shitty laugh. Those titties are. Oh, damn it. This one over here. So let me just see one. I look at his Twitter. Nobody retweets a favor to him. Ever. Right. Okay. But who gives a fuck? Why would

you care about that? Because I'm 19. That's what I care. Okay, good point Two-shay pale arm Long-sleeved like a fucking skeleton with hair Okay back back to the story I actually liked it Keep it now, you know, I'm loosen it. Yeah, but definitely keep it on your fucking It's good. Yeah, and do me a favor eat something Kelly can you get him some food you want to do a set right now? Joe's on fire

Joe's on fire Joe's come out just a little bit. It's too relaxed to be on fire Who's gonna leg up? You have socks on? I've never been relaxed once ever All right, let's go. Go ahead. Thanks. So he has 22,000 followers. So I was like, dude, there's no way you'd invite them. What do you mean by them? You can buy. All right, we can do stop. And for the record, hang on. He bought them. I I looked at Eric Rivera's Twitter, maybe two weeks ago. Yeah, he had 2000.

Yeah, 2000. All right, stop for one second. Okay. I need we need to slow down here. Let's collaborate and listen You can go on a website what website pay 400 400 is that much? 20,000 my book my one of my friends truck. He bought 10,000 for 200. So I'm guessing 20,000 Truck Hudsonalves. Yes, he did truck. You mean truck The black guy what famous guy from Sweden when he sings is he a black guy? Yeah, he's not he's famous in Sweden Why he's a on B star there? That's where he should go Does someone actually follow you? No, they're all bots. They're all created It's all like eggs and people can people can do that like people can shoot up the benefit

Because it makes you look like you look like you have a shit ton of all the cool. It's the comedian thing I'm a bit night was asking me like a year ago. He mentioned someone's name. He's like so and so he goes He's got 15,000 followers how and night was like fuming because like you bought those You know for a fact he bought 100% there's no way I'm pretty sure of them and again I'll second it I looked two weeks ago Yeah, 2000 and Pete started this You guys you guys look why do you guys look at other people's followers? No, cuz I just think make us like I have nine that what do you have 13 or 12? That's cool

I think you have friend you know they're fancy they reach But I everything and then he has more than me and nobody even retweet So I was like, what's up with this and then I looked at it and they will fake Yeah, what what the fuck do you do during the day? Very long I call my phone you gotta get hemorrhoids, dude. I have crones. Don't matter. What's crown? It's a stomach disease. You don't know what cronzes Stomach sees my dad died feel bad what is cron's basically where you eat you shit right when you eat you shit. That's why we try that right now You have to shit right now. You really so bad. I'm gonna pause right now. No. I want you to shit

No, don't take a shit. No, stop All right, go ahead finish it. Can you have the shit right now? But I it's always has to shit If I give you some meat right now, you'll have to shit immediately like a tape Or like a tape or it's, I'm like a tapeboard. Really? Like the creator, the guitarist of Pearl Jam has Crohn's disease and there's a bucket behind the drum riser.

Oh, I'm not a bucket, where they? But like it's not a... What? Hang on. Let's get... Gary, hang on Gary. He called me several times during the marathon. Yeah, well, you didn't call me.

Well, I was the victim. He didn't have any phone service, Bobby. I'm a survivor. There it is. I'm a survivor. Gary. Hi, Bobby. Galman, you're on the podcast.

What's up, buddy? You're with Joe D. You with Dan Soda, Kelly Fistuka. Oh, he called you, John. Joe lists shit. Sorry. Peter, D. Pete Davidson. That's why PT. I don't get you know. How you doing buddy? I'm doing great. I Just I was calling to talk to you off the air, but I didn't realize I was calling on the air so

You know what dude Well Joe was a Joe is a survivor of the marathon yes thank god the only one that I knew was there and got what I lost out until his joe list I was there too Gary you work yeah I didn't know you were lost I was in Boston I was at the I was at the I was at the poor hole pop and you work yep i didn't know you were lost in a was that i was at the uh... i was at the poor whole problem in the heaven of and i had a baby shower on sunday well that is really uh... very close

that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that town's away. But also significantly more dangerous than anything that happened at the Marathon Road. While I was in, I could actually see the skylight of Boston from where I was. Oh, wow. So there you go. Um, straight, a straight piece of shrapnel. Could have, could have hit you in the forehead. That's true. Actually, I was telling them there was some guy at the bar got kicked out because as soon as the news came on he started yeah fucking we got to go to war and take them all out he started screaming and then some ladies what we do need to do and then some lady was like you need to relax he goes you're a fucking pussy wow yeah yeah then he's out front fuck I forgot my cigarettes can I go back in and get him?

I love those guys. Yeah, they're all fucking friendly nice people They're blaming the Occupy Wall Street crowd Are they really really Those types of people are blaming the Occupy Wall Street crowd and then the Occupy Wall Street of people blaming the occupy wall street car and the occupy wall street carters blaming the the gun enthusiasts and uh... the gun enthusiasts are blaming the uh... and who the arab's blaming

uh... the jews and who the jews blaming no one because they're mothers their mothers their mothers i listen and wait gary heard only heard you didn't hear me and i want credit for that that the audience but from gary jolis said that now it's it's great uh...

and it's interesting things that i'll have to talk on the podcast next time this is a little preview my mother met my girlfriend for the first time and it was really uncomfortable. Really? Really? Oh my god. Really? Why?

Yeah. Gary's girlfriend is the sweetest. This is what they call the business at tease. Yes. Oh, that's a good tease. I want you you come on next week. You're gonna be around Yes, I will have you Bob leave leave leave Bob leavey, but you Bob leavey Joe and Dan Not you Pete. Oh, that's a murderous row All right, so next week. We'll we'll set it up for Tuesday. All right, Tuesday or Monday Monday Monday

Monday, Wednesday of next week. That's our murderers row and Bob Levy. Hi buddy, I love you. I love you too, I miss you and give me a call off the air later. Okay buddy. All right, bye. Gary Goldman has got one of the best laughs ever. It's just explodes when we the math goes really wide. Like a clan. I love leaving. I love it too. I just had to pick someone and I pick on the soda too much. It's very sensitive. I'm very sensitive. And I have to, I don't, like next week I have to, I want to be on that episode. Where are you going next week? For those of those who don't know, if I may add to the teas, Gary's girlfriend is black. Yeah. Well, don't add. That would be the, you just gave it away, Joe. You're really such a radio something radio shut up and let me run the show and you fucking throw your zing zing zing

in. You got away the punch line. That's not the punch line. The slide there and punch line. Cross your fucking legs. The story is the punch. Oh, Eric Rivera. It was up. You're on the fucking you know what did podcast with uh... your pal pete d this fucking night this avatar that fucking came into my studio and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and followers? No, I did not buy Twitter followers. That's a 19 year old going, uh, having a conversation. What the fuck? What is this? What are you fucking on MTV to say what the fuck is actually? Are you really? Oh guy code makes me sick. Are you on it too, right? Uh, guy, you're not even guys. I'm not even a man yet. No Fuck it. I'm an idiot. Yeah. All right. I have that's a little all right. Listen listen Eric. Well, they're telling me dance soda

Say what you said I said I said about two weeks ago I saw your Twitter and it was like two thousand and then I was just making a comment that it's up to 22,000 So that's the comment I might which seems like that twenty thousand is a lot in two weeks it is with no yeah what is what is what did you do what was i don't buy follows i can't really go into detail how my number i was actually five at the jump but i'm working on something right now and

i don't buy the ball that's just that's all i thought it's a minute did it's a thousand two weeks is a huge job it has something to do with that kid that was here that time i'm working with Glenn from high five that's not no listen to me first of all if you're using that motherfucker and he's helping you and not helping me

i'm disown of you and I'm stabbing that fucking car suck I want to know listen to me. I'm not you if you think you can be if you think that you're Good I'm gonna allow you to be fucking like sneaky and yeah I can't say Shot you know movie what the fuck do you have what is it movie? I'm gonna be going on tour with somebody bad just can't Who the fuck are you going on tour with? I said it there you go I said it. There you go. Yeah, you throw me on the button. No, yeah, somebody's gonna tell me I can't say who you are. Okay, here you go.

Okay, how the fuck do you get hooked up? But you've never been on the show. I know I have it. Okay. Okay. Okay. What did you say? Get stuff like this. Shut the fuck up. Listen to me. So how the fuck do you, did they, so in order for you, for, for was it 2000 people, in order for you to get 20,000 people in a week on Twitter, hang on, let me finish.

In order for you to get 20,000 people, the people, okay, somewhere it has to have your name attached to somebody else's thing so that they know. Twenty thousand people just don't follow you. Someone had to tell them what the fuck you're doing with this certain guy. So that means it's already out there for regular fucking people to follow you. That's twenty thousand people do it so it has to be already revealed to those people

well i don't know i can't say nothing until they announced it okay they're working okay me and to one of comics and so i can't but you understand it's already you understand it's already announced somewhere for regular people to follow you how the fuck do they know to follow you if nobody announced it I don't know how it works man they took my pass with the ticket and they they're working on it so oh so someone else is running you somebody else is running your Twitter account now running it there they're marketing it and setting it all

up for this tour well you know what here okay, it makes sense to me too. Here's the deal. All right, Pete, D and fucking Dan S. It seems like they're all legit. I'm checking them out. Yeah, you said, no, the last, the last like 30 a legit, keep scrolling down and you'll see they're all like bots

and they have three tweets and fake pictures. Yeah, but it might be, it might not be him. Oh no, I don't think he could have not done it. Hang on a second. I don't think they're real. Here's the deal be that it might not be him. Oh, no, I don't think he could have not done it. Hang on a second. I don't think they're real. Here's a deal though. It might not be him. So you can't throw him under the bus for.

You got a port. Here's a deal. If this guy has something that he can't mention with somebody that he's going on tour with and they say, look, give me your account, which I've had other people do. I've had companies do. Okay, Simon and Schuster took over my Twitter, okay, when we had the book release. And what they do, people got mad at me

or flipped out, they're fucking you out, he's posting your book shit. They had me on a rotation, they did weird shit to my account that I didn't know what the fuck they did. So here he asked, you can't just say no, they take his account and they add all these things or whatever the fuck they do that's not him

He can't say don't do this. He can't fucking put his foot down morally like I I only want People who he's gotta just go and go do whatever you want cuz he wants to go on this tour So you can't throw him out of the bus for that. Yeah, I didn't know until he told me It's just I know people who have done it and that's exactly what it looked Yeah, but you is your friend who my friends that? No Eric. I don't yeah, we get along She's not bus friend. I'm not Ricky Velas, but like yeah, well good friends. Good friends. Yeah, Rick you friends with Pete Now I think it's a big dude. I think it's gonna be hell but I got my number of phone call a little bit nice. Yeah Now So you'll get I'm gonna set your fans

After him real quick after he after listen I'm gonna send my fucking fans after you how's that let me tell you what he said I was fucking with them. All right, he made fun of me for going to rehab and he told everybody that I went to rehab You went you told people he went to rehab. He fucking went a low blow like a little cut Old anger hang on one second hang on one second. No, this is not this is my father got killed in a building I'm embarrassed to listen to me. I don't want people going. I'm gonna tell you something right now It's fatherly love, okay? Because you seem to have the same anger as I do, right? You don't just throw, call somebody a cunt.

You don't fucking throw a rehab for no reason. Yeah, but you don't, you don't, after you're already dealt with it though. You can't say, all right, we're cool, and then have the anger back again. Oh yeah, I'm, you see, no, no. You gotta stay what I'm saying. You can't just take the anger back whenever the fuck you want it. You already worked it out with him, yes, yesterday on the phone, right? You're cool. You can't just Relive the anger you fucking yeah, but you're not mad about you know you're not listen. You're not you're not

You're not okay. You know what you're ooh join the fucking rehab club asshole. I was in rehab at 15 Yeah, I don't know who gives a fuck it. I'm gonna help you a career. Yeah You think people don't know a guy like you using Yeah, who gives a fuck rehabs gonna help you career? Yeah, all right You think people don't know a guy like you using re Yeah, I understand you shouldn't be you should be ashamed of that haircut Here's here's here's are you should be ashamed of here's where you should be ashamed of Fucking not trying to help yourself and better yourself That's where you should be ashamed of. Being a fucking piece of shit Using drugs alcohol, whatever the fuck it is to bury your feelings or you fucking you shit about your life

You should be very proud of actually reaching out saying I need help and trying to better your life That you should be very proud of but I don't know. Okay. That's fine I agree with you here and an inemity is not for everybody if you don't want i don't think that's fine i agree with you here and in the me is not for everybody if you don't want to tell people that that's fine but you should never be somebody does find out about it it's it's not the end of the fucking world that's a good thing that you're doing it but arick why did you tweet that out

uh... uh... i think stopping fucking spanish uh... are they are they are they are they are they are How do you say stop and fucking Spanish? Arrete, Arrete, Arrete, Arrete. Okay. Listen, young people see that you're in rehab is not a bad thing because the people, seriously, because they see that you're getting actually help, that you're actually give a shit about yourself. So you might actually be inspirational to a kid like myself when I was 13, 14, 15, who were fucked up. And if I saw you on TV and I heard that you went to rehab and then my parents would put

me, I might go, okay, I'll do it because a guy who I fucking see on MTV, a guy I've fallen on Twitter did it. And you might be inspirational to somebody out there. So maybe eight people think you're fucking crazy or whatever, but one kid actually tweets you and says, dude, I'm going to re-up too, man. I heard you were, yeah, the name, then it's fucking worth it because they connected with you on a fucking level that they wouldn't be able to connect with you. So that's amazing.

So now, you know, get us that one up saying, okay, I'm sorry, I don't mean to fucking yell at you, but the book like it i fucking he's needed it and he anyways she's needed for a while would you do that though why would you throw him under the bus but we'll go back and forth and he was getting the best year right and i read the tweets

i read the i read the tweets just say yes and move on. I was, you know, I was trying to confuse all the situation about this by the followers. People come and I was like, dude, it's easy. Right. And I said it was a blow and I followed that. I shouldn't have thrown it on the way there. Okay, so you did that and then you said something about his kid.

Yeah. Which would have made me hit you with a pole. Right. Yeah, you don't fucking talk. You don't bring... Well, his kid, I said he was having one, unfortunately. That's where I said it. Yeah, but that's bad for the kid. Yeah, you know...

You don't... Shit on... The kid. Look, number one, man. You know, you shouldn't poop on any children. You should never shit on children. I don't know, Pond. That's the...

They rub their antitas. She'd never shit on children. I don't know, Pond. That's the stupid. They rub their added-on eyes. Apparently Joe's taking guitar lessons. Or you're fucking doing your fucking psycho. I'm minding my own business. Yeah, but you're doing the same way you figure. I'm minding my own business on the show. I get shit.

Yeah, you don't. Yes, it's called a show asshole. Yes, it is a show. But this is a confrontation. It's the same thing I have with the fucking gnome dust and thing. It's a fucking lost art of minding your own fucking business. Kelly tried to bring me into that beef that day.

Kelly's like, what's up, Joe? And then you're like, no, you gotta get, no, fuck this. I tried bringing you into it. It's a fucking this thing about, same thing with Facebook. That's a new thing. Everyone has to have an opinion on the thing. And everyone's gonna mention this. This is not my beef.

I'm enjoying my time and fucking sitting on my feet. I'm enjoying my time. I'm like he's a survivor I was home for four days, so I sound like an idiot. It'll wear off a couple days I'm enjoying the beef. I think I think you're both the horrible people Peter and Eric I will say something in Eric's defense though about the how you saying how Eric doesn't get favorite and retweets It's because like Eric has like proper, like people see Eric on stage,

you're like, oh yeah, I have like a Twitter account. I'm gonna follow him. You have 12 year olds that have no names, that their symbols, they are fucking insane. Your followers are not normal. Like they are crazy. They're like beeper fans. What are you doing?

Look, if you got a girlfriend, there would be a girl that might wanna kill herself. If you wanna stand, like the serious, like they're like be perfans. What are you doing? Look, if you go to girlfriend, they would be a girl that might want to kill herself. If you want to stand like the serious, like they're favoring you to put everything. They attack, they're all attacking. Why are you, why are you, why are you, I'm not sure.

What? I'll tell you this though, I kind of do like the evilness of Pete. I said, sends his little 13 year old minions. I just got mad about the line man. I really wouldn't say I think about you kid. I'm sorry if that really pissed you minions. I just got mad about the line man. I really wouldn't have said anything about your kid. I'm sorry if that really pissed you off.

I just got so mad because I'm just embarrassed to not like okay. But why would you go to rehab? I just thought, okay, okay, there you go. You're embarrassed about it. Okay, you shouldn't be though. But I understand that you shouldn't be embarrassed about it. It's your business.

Here's the thing, it's your business. It shouldn't be out there. Yeah, that's why I've had a fight. But don't feel, I'm telling you, you shouldn't be ashamed there. Yeah, that's why I've how I feel I'm telling you don't you shouldn't be ashamed That's a great thing right. That's all I'm saying But it is your business. That's it. That's it. That's you shouldn't be out there But here's the thing you attack a guy who gives a fuck. Yeah, why do you give a fuck? Yeah, if somebody is doing something differently than you and not only that to and I agree with you Bobby

Eric said you had his phone number. You should have just texted him to bust his balls like friends do. Do you know how many people, okay, I have people look at my accounts and go, oh, I fucking, my friends. But then I look at some really people that I know that are very famous.

And I'm like, oh, God, do I hate? But I, look I look it's my friend I don't care yeah do whatever the fuck you want I don't give a shit. I see people trying to get more followers by you know doing the the the the hashtag of whatever's Trending so they're in for God who gives a fuck dude you know gives a gives a fuck? Get your followers, get your likes, get your retweets. Who gives a shit? How funny are you? I don't know. You know what I mean? My little Twitter fight was pretty much a damn funny thing.

I'm talking about, okay, if you get to be a professional Twitter, fine, be funny. How funny you want stage. Be Rob Delaney. How fucking, how? He catfished us. What? You said Rob, did you say b rob

delay yeah who's that he's a comic on twitter horrible comic great tweeter yeah okay they don't know you but but look at man here I'd rather be I go on stage and you're a fucking hammer I'm a but I'd rather go on stage and feel less guilty about what I'm doing walk off feeling good about that and and work on that then Fuckin have a million followers on Twitter that think I'm that don't give a fuck Yeah, I agree. I mean because look there's a bunch of people out there that do sell out shows At places I go to and I see their comedy. It's fucking garbage I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I Quinn. I mean, these guys are fucking brilliant comics. Standups.

Yeah. And hindsight, I should have texted him the fuck with him, but it was just like he tweeted. I just replied as a joke. Oh, I don't care about you two. I'm just saying I'm glad. I'm glad you two fucking pussy's get it. I didn't think it would get that bad, but it was in hindsight. It shouldn't even happen. And it's my fault for starting. Yeah, but you can't, this is the fucked up thing. Eric's a nice kid. Eric's here. Eric's a thing though. Eric's Dan, very corpus. And he has that Becky Kell look at Eric.

But you gotta say, Eric doesn't have the nutside. You can snap. Yeah, he is. It's been happening since I stopped drinking. Yeah, I know I see it. You snap it many times. Which I like it though. Yeah, I love it. I do. I do like it. I don't like it. It's been happening since I stopped drinking. Yeah, I know. I see it. You snap it at me at times. Which I like it though. Yeah, I love it.

I do. I do like it. I like it. I don't like it. It's very uncomfortable for me. I like you being fucking real. I like when you're real. I like when you're fucking.

I get like it. I got a lot of fucking. You have to go there to get to the other side, I don't. Barry, an Alan saying that shit all the time. And I was like, you're connecting. You're connecting. And I like it. We're gonna go to Dr. Alan too.

Yeah. I'm just gonna'll do it next week he's gonna open you up you have to care about you you can say he's corporate that that kid all-news that that's what it comes like that's what that's what it's like when you say the kid

you know you can't mention my kid that'll make you feel like no matter how corporate you are yeah that i was not the fight i was not the fight with a nurse because you get my kid a shot as you started laughing she's like you're not the first dad to want to fight me you know like I'm so Eric I mean you you you you seem like a tough kid but Eric's a tough little who's a Guatemalan

I heard I heard I heard Eric would beat the shit out of me it's Ricky Coleman he was like hey dude you should stop because in a street fight you would get the shit kick that yeah like okay that's what that's exactly what makes it make us oh man you know what have been great. It's just if Eric would have beat the shit at a page He's fucking Oscar Dale I just imagine Eric showing up wearing boots with tassels Footwork just if Eric showed up just like like blue gloves knocked him the fuck out and then stepped on his fingers so he can't tweet.

I heard the crack. Ah, you'd lose followers because you didn't, you can't tweet for very much. These 13 year old girls would throw themselves into a fire for Pete. Fuck those fucking twants. All right, so Eric, here's the thing. They're gonna listen because he's honest, right?

Dad don't mean his mean. I like the survivor. See, baby, we're alone. Yeah, hang on one second It's uncomfortable 13-year-old fans. I can't have them. I think it's illegal for them to see my act Yeah, yeah, I'm not up there talking about popcorn and bubble gum You're the fucking two bubble gum Pretty your puppy or a pony

Me neither shut the fuck up. I'm 10-year-old a blow on dude side. They're not into the whole right Kelly We don't need you. You're training in your dojo your slut dojo Hi, sorry Eric you you you apologize. Yeah, I apologize I did off twin like I did so might after Did you go on Twitter and tell you fucking I tweeted Tell you fucking you tell you a 14 fucking 18 12 year olds to stop attacking Aaron I said we would fuck with each other with his comics Eric's funny and a great dude and what they do and they all said Oh, okay, okay, so they just obey you but then 10 minutes ago, he called him a cunt

Why is the language I got it? Okay, okay, so they just obey you but then 10 minutes ago he called them a cunt Angry Well why buddy? I'm just not I don't know I see Alan next week. I don't like myself I mean, I don't like that haircut everything else is cool Yeah, I just I've angry all right. Here's a deal all right. Well, you guys are good now though Luga man you should be supporting each other. We should be helping each other. I hope that tour kicks ass, Eric. I hope those followers start retuning you. Oh, fuck you.

You're an ass. It's like Aladdin's got the gun down. This clock's stuck here. He really is. It's the same. It's either going to ruin him or make him famous. It's going to be... It's either going to take him down

or make him fucking the next big thing. Yeah. You're definitely not taking the fucking Dan Soto's school of approach. By the way, I just want to thank all of you for being here today. Eric, thanks for you've been great on the phone. I apologize for doubting your Twitter followers. I've done the research. I've seen that they actually are real people. All right, I gotta go. Wait, so do we're doubting too? Yeah know everybody well i was i'm not gonna start to be with

a lot uh... wait you know what i'm sorry you saw what happened to vecki on yesterday you know what a piece is uh... so good that please don't ever leave you're not the guide to verbally uh... tax on the in a hundred forty characters just just let's let this die we do that?

You can't take a fucking anorexic fucking Irishman on nevermind soda in his big head Oh big sweetest body. I got fighting blood pumping through me. Yeah, so everything's cool between you guys Yeah, all right. Yeah, well good. All right, so good. All right Eric Rivera yeah, all right, so we're gonna be this weekend Um, there we go. Love it guys. We're gonna get the fuck out here. Um Pete. Do you come back on? I would love to come on. Yeah, all right good. You had a good time great. Hi. We're gonna fucking anger Okay, I will and get a new haircut All right, I'm gonna go it out. It's take me to your barber. Just go to his barber. I go to a salon You have to follow you have to follow fucking

Seven Alves into the woods with birds and fucking bread crumbs waiting to see where this goes Yeah, you're fucking big He's got a you could have gone several different routes number one You could have said a lawn mower for how big my head is now. I was going into fantasy land because you're shrek I get it now. Yeah, I should have waited for the pay. Yeah, I was going to his government But you stepped on it. I always do bread crumbs, handsome and Greta and that of which no you just a big fat Fucking fantasy head guy keep your fantasy straight all right as far as what you guys please go to tweedaudio.com unbelievable headphones supporter of the show if you go there right now you get

thirty three percent off by using the code word dude d u d e right now go there any headphone get a bunch of them get more than one pair 33% off free shipping and Unlimited lifetime almost maybe warranty And you need for durability and also Amazon calm so when you go to when you go to right cast.com Full slash Robert Kelly you want to click on the Amazon link and buy everything Maybe you want to get a neutral bullet. Yeah, I'm gonna buy one. I'm gonna buy one I'm putting on too much white. Yeah, please go to Amazon.com on our page on Ryakash. Use that link.

Use that link and we make some cash. Anything you buy off of there. And I want you to also use GameFlight.com slash YKWD. For if you guys video game, it's the Netflix of gaming. Use that. Check it out. And that's it. I think we're done What do you got Pete? What's your Twitter? Let's let's get some adults on there Pete Davidson on Twitter. Pete Davidson on Twitter. What else?

Uh, if you're in the Braia area, I'll be at the improv in LA with who? With Nick Cannon open from you're open if a Nick Cannon. Yes, my manager. Your manager is Nick Cannon. Yeah Why did somebody fucking not tell me this? We're gonna have him back The next answer, okay Does he clear it? Yeah, please him is candy shop. What did you meet Nick Cannon? I was 17 doing shows and he just Like I think you're funny. You want to work with me? Did you say it back? you say it back? And I'm kidding. No, no, no.

So we stop the podcast. No, no, kidding. And if I could just stop working on a new ass, I'm going to do an impression. What? All right, so Dan, what do you got? Twitter at Dan Soder. And if you are in the Sacramento or Bay Area,

I'm going to be at the Sacramento Punchline May 8th through the 12th. May 9th through the 12th. Really? Yeah. Dan, also watch my Comedy Central Special. About half hour heirs May 3rd at midnight. Yeah. Boom. And it'll be fun. Boom.

Joe, where you at? Very excited about that. I'm very excited to see you special. Thanks buddy. Limited commercial interruptions. It's gonna be fucking great, dude. It's the only one commercial. One of the funniest young motherfuckers coming up. I'm so happy that you're on the show. Thanks buddy.

And I'm happy that you're fucking not happy all the time. Not happy. I really am happy that you- I fucking lost my shit last night. But you get- It wasn't anything to do with comedy. I'm glad that you fucking, you, you, you. Joe's an inspiration.

I'm at 39 days. I know he's at four months, but- Good for you man. What do you got, Joe? I don't know, but at Joe's list comedy Twitter follow me there right all right. That's it exciting I don't know I didn't I should have looked at my book I've been hard for a bunch and may I don't know I got a hook here. I mean I have a catch hair, but you get it

Oh, I said I was really creepy It's like cyborg you hate it. I'm joking you hate me. I love you. Do you hate me? Are you mad at me? Are you mad at me? Are you mad at me? No are you mad at me? No? Cali, what are you got besides a fucking beautiful left-hit? I mean the left-hit's killing the left ones awesome right it make me feel beautiful I'm gonna be a Gotham on the night May the night for what so I don't know The high-res a line cook and I've been booked in advance and you can buy tickets online So you want to come see me mainly that's awesome. That's great good for Kelly She's not plugging under belly. Yeah, and also, but I'm starting a new show every Wednesday

at the Opal Lounge on 52nd and 2nd at 8 o'clock. Every Wednesday, Joe Lists will be on tonight and a whole bunch of other people. So every Wednesday, you know what, if I'm me, do you want to kill me? Awesome. All right, great. That's fantastic.

I'm going to have to do a quick tech talk today. Who is it? When you go to stick around, or Kelly, somebody stick around? Joe, can you stick around? I can't. I can't. fantastic I'm gonna have to do we're gonna do a quick tech talk today who is it when you got to stick around oh Kelly somebody stick around Joe can you stick around anybody stick around I gotta do a really quick tech talk yeah you want to do with me yeah all right cool all right so that's the show God bless and United States of America never surrender never back down. Yeah, any of you guys in Boston

Seriously Give up I'm not gonna stop I'm gonna look hot. You can't say that song is your Australia and your country wasn't attacked Joe you survive and you also don't step on somebody's fucking thing when they're doing it struggling Are we actually gonna end a podcast on Kelly being funny it might as well. All right Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Buy yourself a pair of headphones in air, mic, non-miced, wood grain, green, lime green, white, all kinds of colors, all kinds of styles, and their great quality headphones for a cheap price and get this. Use the code word, dude, when you check out, you get another 33% off. That's right, 33% off. That's close to almost half.

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you would have on the show, blah blah blah blah, YKWD at ridecast.com. I'm sitting in my underwear right now on my iPhone with my awesome mic that I got from Carl and I'm doing this to stinkin' stinkin' stinkin' You know what I need I'm fucking fucking the world, I'm the world You know what I need I'm just starting to stinkin' stinkin'

You know we're dead We really did, really, really We're dead I'm just gonna stay Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop filming my face. Don't stop filming my face.