Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Talking Shit with Vinnie Brand and Jim Norton

Episode Date: December 26, 2011

Talking Shit with Vinnie Brand and Jim Norton. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable, 33 grados. You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude? On the Riotcast Network, Glory Whole Radio is now Riotcast. Riotcast.com What's up Robert Kelly fans, there is no better way to usher in 2012 than the Catcher Robert Kelly live for yourself at the stress factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey. Robert will be performing on December 29th 30th and most importantly a very special New Year's Eve extravaganza you don't want to miss.

Join Robert in bringing in the new year with an open bar, a kick ass buffet, a midnight champagne toast and much more. So start your 2012 off right and get your tickets now at the Stress Factory website at StressFactory.com. Then for one night only, Robert returns to Boston at the Wilbur Theatre on Saturday, January 7. Tickets are going fast, so get them now at the Wilbur Theatre.com or ticketmaster.com. You know what, you know what, you need it. I'm stuck in your stinkin' stinkin' stinkin'

You know what, you need it. I'm stuck in your stinkin' stinkin' You know what, you need it. What's up, all right, we're here episode fucking 7000 Of the you know what dude podcast. I don't even know what the fuck episode You don't ever talk before you introduce you If The everybody breaks that fucking rule.

I say to everybody, I'm gonna introduce, I'm gonna start it and introduce you and then you fucking start yapping. But as I'm introducing everybody, you're not the only one. Everybody calling everybody, there's, and they fucking start yapping. Vinny Brand, the owner of the stress factory

and more importantly to him, fucking stand up comedian, actor, and that's it. You're a writer, I'm a writer. You're a writer too? I'm a writer, we'll get into that. I am into everything. Well, I'm gonna fucking tell you, there's only one way you can be a writer in my book now.

To publish. No, if you have a certain item that I fucking own, all right, so you hang right there. You fucking be. I fucking I will hang in hang out. I'll show you right now. I can't wait to see it Oh fucking keep talking I will tell you why Until you get this excuse me Let me this little piece of paper excuse me girls and uh just to let you guys know Vinnie brought viny brothers And just to let you guys know Vinnie brought Vinnie brothers

Daughters right what one your daughter one my daughter and one of my daughter's friend and my friend who you want to adopt your friend Well, don't say that you can't be friends with her daughter. What do you Hulk Hogan? You can't be friends with your daughter's friend. I you can be friendly. I'm friendly friendly. You can't be buddies That's sure. I'm never going to a ballgame with her. Yeah, you don't just hang out with her and get a latte Yeah, thanks a whole different level because she's only 22 Yeah, and she's adorable. She's wearing a hat in the size. She's like a little hipster and and you're like 50 how old are you? I'm 49 you're 40 50 You can't round up. I'm 49 it's only 50 50 you 50 you can't round up I'm 49 until I hit 50 I am 49 I Tied around I was 90% of the 49 year old absolutely but you she's still 22

So you can't you can't be her pal I rounded up with her you rounded down with that didn't you pervert? I was in front of you Yeah, you're 21 or 22 Come on, which is funny. It's not my 18 21 or 22 Come on, it's funny. It's not funny in 18 Came with just Hannah because Danielle made I wouldn't lay in I wouldn't even fucking let you in because I don't want to have to submit my podcasts into a fucking court Fuck that

I texted Danielle's a Danielle come to the city and do the podcast right and she's okay Maybe I will then I invited Hannah and then Danielle said, what am I going? So I can't uninvite Hannah. No, of course, I mean, I don't mind that Hannah, I'm glad you're here. I'm not saying anything about that. I'm just saying that I wouldn't want him here

with just you. I'm glad that his daughter is here too. It would be even weirder if when I got here, I missed the podcast. We just ended up going to the tree. Yeah, that will be weird. Like after the podcast, it was just you and Hannah and you're like, where you got,

and you're like, hey, you wanna go do something? I'm like, nah, you're a wife, and you just walked around. Not even the tree, you took it to like a bar. Yeah, or ice skating. Ice skating here at the tree. Like a gay bar and everybody loved both of you. That's awful.

Well, first of all, I want all, now you're a writer, and in order to be a writer, you have to have, I'm gonna show you daughter, you daughter can read this, you have to have one of these. And by the way, I'm a writer. I am a writer. I am a writer, what does that say? It's a Starbucks card?

No, very nice. You need a Starbucks card. Actually say it's a Starbucks card no You need a Starbucks card actually that's not too far off There's a lot of people in Starbucks writing yeah, the worst thing in the world is going into a Starbucks and seeing hopes and dreams Just oh just people trying to be fucking creative. No fuck yourself and you know damn right Well, they're bad insurance agents Fuck yourself and you know damn right. Well, they're bad insurance agents. I hate Starbucks. I want to go and sit down have a cup of coffee I can't get to a coffee because someone's there tapping out their novel Let me see then your hand to me no, no, no, no, no, no, no, why don't fucking rip it up? I've never never never never yeah, I respect I'd say something Let me see Daniel, hand it down to me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why? Don't fucking rip it up. I'm sorry. I've never, never, never.

No, I respect. I have to say something. Now, you and I have had a long look at that shit. Good for you. How did you acquire this? I wrote something. Where did you write? I wrote a, I had a show with FX that I was writing.

It's great. Yeah. Did you writing still writing? Not writing anymore. We wrote it for a year and, you year and we'll see what happens with it. Good for you. Now what I don't know, and I'm sorry to say, are you still on Louis' show?

No. No, that bell. If Louis actually talked about that, I'm actually doing another show for CBS. It's a cop show. I have a small reoccurring role. It's a small, small role. It's the matter. It's the cop show. I have a small reoccurring roll. It's a small, small roll. It's a matter of goal.

It's a cop show, funny, and it's the comedy. Me and my partner are the ball busters, and we do a little funny stuff. Did they have power? It's an hour. It's Robert De Niro produced. Correct. So someone did a funny cop show.

No, it's not funny. It's more like 90210 meets fucking NYPD blue. It's like five young rookie cops. You know, they're really good too. And there's a lot of famous people in it. Like I know that fucking dude people. You know, you know their names. But I know that motherfucker.

And then there's me and my partner who are the, you know, the comic relief in every episode. Here's what I can understand. Why hasn't... Why I have a career? Not well, not. You have a career. I have no career. Yeah, let's get it. But I have a life, which is better than a career anyway. But let me tell you something. I don't know why Hollywood can't get to the

straight. Why does someone make a cop show? Yeah. Or a show about lawyers or a show about doctors, because those three topics need to be covered finally. Yeah, it's awful. It went so funny though, they haven't made a funny cop show. It's a party Miller.

Well, since the job, I would say the job, the first season, the job was fucking funny man. Who was the job? Dennis Leary. Right, okay. Dennis Leary, Lenny Clark, same crew as Rescue Me, except cops. Right. But it was edgy, it was, it was, it was cheating, there was all kinds of fucked up shit on it.

Hilarious, but the lady at, I don't know what network fucking douche did. Right, of course. Well, let me tell you, the cops showed me to be made. It's not in a city. What they need. Right. Like Reno 9, Reno 9, whatever the hell it was. Reno, Comedy Central, Reno, yeah. It was at its moments, but it was still in a city

and they had the bizarre shit going on. I want to see a cop show set in suburban America and the crap that they deal with, which is so mundane and so much more relevant. I mean, you imagine getting caught because Mrs. Jones' dog is barking again, and you went through the academy for that, and what happens to your head

when you have to shop and go, Mrs. Jones, shut your dog up. But that's, I mean, most of cop's work. I mean, I found out this, doing the show, I learned a lot about the police, the how the police, there's rookies who do shit work. Of course. And then there's, you know, the 20 year guys

who are looking for a pension, then it's just like any other job, this fucking politics, it's just like show business, like being a comic. Those guys who are fucking sergeants and lieutenants, who sucked, daughters here, who fucking, who did what the editor? Who the, ha, fucking Vitty. I said I'd never do it on my podcast.

Now you fucking made me, you made me, I'm on FM radio right now. This is not fucking podcast internet. I'm on FM radio right now, because I don't want to say dirty words in front of your daughter and her your friend your friend. Oh yeah yeah. Well you know what the thing is you don't even need the dirty words Robert you don't need it. Oh fuck your own content. Listen I uh huh. Who's in? Who's in the chat room? Your daughter's actually running the chat room and playing with my dog at the same time. Now your podcast does not broadcast live. No we do do it live. We're not doing it live. I was gonna do it live live. We're not doing it live.

I was gonna do it live tonight, but we just changed glory hole radio over to riot cast. So I had to change, I never changed all the shit out of the lot. I can just hit a button and go live right now. Now, and that's what I was gonna do, because I thought it'd be interesting.

It's Christmas, blah, blah, blah. But we're actually in a chat room for the first time. I never did a chat room. We're in a chat room right now. So how are people chatting, they're hearing us live on the internet? They're hearing us, I believe through this computer. I don't know. It's magic.

It's just magic to people our age. It's something's happening on a house. I don't know. I don't know. I think they're, I guess, through this computer. I don't know. I don't know. I think they're he has through this computer. I don't know, but If you want to type in if you guys have any questions. Yeah, for Vinnie brand We can first question is who are you? I'm gonna be very angry. I need a right questions to him. No, don't write questions to him

You can say yeah ask them hey chat room if you want to ask Vinnie brand any questions And I mean if you can hear us in the chat room Let us know Let us fucking know Is your podcast on iTunes my podcast is on iTunes? It's on everything but mainly riot cast dot com and riot cast is who riot cast is It's a network of podcasts Florentineines on it, Rich Voss' podcast, I hate my wife hates me, the comedy seller,

Jersey jerks. OK, so everybody's starting a podcast, but I actually am going to do one, and I want to ask you if you'll do mine. We're doing it with a live studio audience. I actually listened to your podcast, your first one. That was the first one, it was awful. But you got to understand this is what the only good part is we took you 30 minutes to start talking. It

was you and him talking about a fucking song. I almost killed myself. What song was it? But in your eyes, maybe. No, some fun. But it was like you guys. No, yeah, my buddy actually did that. That was his podcast. Yeah, it sounded good He does a great sound right, so he went to a podcast. I said them listen I'll come up I was in Boston. I did the podcast with him. He put it up now We're gonna do a podcast with comics, but I'm gonna call it but I'm gonna let a comic do a set live in front of an audience Right and then we're gonna do the podcast immediately after that So if the audience has questions for for example, on Thursday night from your set, they can sit there and interact with it. I

think that makes it. What do you mean? Well, I don't understand that. Okay. Next Thursday, you're at the club. Yes, I am. I'm very excited to have you there. Me too. Okay. It's gonna be great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now you're gonna do the show. Right. And then I want to set up and is someone's phone ringing? Nope. Okay. I want to set up and have you then do the podcast with me right in front of a live audience. So if someone's sitting there, they can interact with us. And I'm going to produce the podcast, meaning it'll have segment, it'll be, right.

And I'm going to interview you about your career. You're going to, you wait a minute. You're going to produce the podcast. Yeah. So you're going to do a podcast during a live show. Yeah. Not the show. The show happens. And then after that, I'm going to bring you back up on stage. We're going gonna do a podcast during a live show. Yeah, not not the show. Right show happens and then after that I'm gonna bring you back up on stage. We're gonna do the podcast in front of the audience in front of the crowd

But how long is that show gonna be? Well, I do know some people are gonna leave obviously But but we're also gonna tell Rutgers kids you can come down just for the podcast Be better new audience of 200 if you have audience of 20. It's a fascinating thing Fat well, I don't know if the word fascinating is the word. I don't think it's fucking middle earth or anything to do with the Chronicles of Nadia, but okay Interesting for people Fascinating, okay, so you think me and you on stage at your club is fascinating. I think you're fascinating Maybe interesting interesting if we both had swords and elixirs, okay?

Can I tell you something? I don't, you're right. It's not fascinating. And comics aren't brilliant. Right, yes. What's called, I think, I know comic is brilliant. I disagree. No, you don't brilliant this.

Brilliant is a guy who is right now. One Chrome is on away from curing cancer. That's brilliant. A guy who makes a clever joke is clever. He's smart even, but he's not brilliant. I think certain people, I think Patrice was brilliant. A guy who makes a clever joke is clever. He's smart even, but he's not brilliant. I think certain people, I think Patrice was brilliant. I think Patrice was brilliant, and let me back it up before you go off on the tangent.

Is that a good word? It's better than fucking your words. You always have a big word again. Tangent is a good word. I think that he was brilliant because he actually was so funny. You know, you never saw him with a notebook. You never saw him with people writing for him. You never saw him working shit out.

He actually just went on stage, but no, but he was that funny. He was funny. He was funnier than anybody I know. He was on another level Every time you saw him he he was just like oh you watched him I I watched him and feel it felt guilty every fucking time like I suck I Yeah, even after I killed I've done shows with him where I fucking annihilated right? Okay, like what the fuck and then he goes up and he does this thing and I'm just like fuck me. Well, you know, Patrice did the better than anybody.

What? Patrice held the mirror and talked about, in my opinion, he talked about what was behind an action. So in other words, if Patrice said, well, women do this. It wasn't women, you know, rag on their men. It was, here's why this is happening. Patrice went one level or two level deeper

than most comics would care to go. Or could go. Right. So I agree with you. When Patrice would do it, but Patrice, you know, also did 50 different ways of coming to women's face and caught the pirate, everything else. So, I mean, look, I'm not saying that I just think that a guy like that and she brought up

Jorraldo too. I mean Jorraldo in certain ways, comics, there are comics that are fucking brilliant. And I understand what you're saying. We're all up there telling jokes, but certain people told them in such a fucking way that silhouetted themselves on Above everybody listen to what that's a different conversation like David Telll It tells great. He's he's fucking brilliant at what it does prolific meaning a wide body of work a lot of jokes prolific writer I think he's but he's brilliant because people copy him, people steal it. Oh, David Tell is the most ripped off, not just for names, name names, go.

Oh, come on. I'm not going to need it. Don't fucking talk about it. Okay, okay. There's no on-name names. I'm sorry. Okay. I think that the guys that were very heavily influenced, you know, I love them.

Big J was very heavily influenced by David Tell. Right down to saying any who wants days. Now look, here's the problem with that. I've heard that too. I've heard that too. Here's the problem with Dave. When you watch Dave, you love him so much. For the next week, you're going,

man, you know, because you can't help it, because it was so God-dave fun. What are we doing? What are we doing? Man, you know. How I can't help it, because it was so God- What are we doing? Huh? What are we doing? Man, you know. How I can't do it? I was actually like the way you do it better than David. I'm much better doing David and David. Yeah, that was almost like the Scrooge,

the movie with Jimi and Andrew. Yeah, look, also, Reagan, when you watch Reagan, you end up going, sorry, you too, you just, you can't help it, you fall in love with you watch Gaffigan and you go So there's certain people that have that such a pronounced way about them When David tell is stomping his feet. Yeah, and he's gone Okay, listen

Those are part and parcel of his if you have you say part and parcel again And we're not selling fucking beaver pelts off a wagon. I will throw my microphone out. Okay, there they are. The core of this Alvea is your addiction stinks. My diction, not that that would be my word. So I know what's the, what's the, uh, allocations? Well, my, it's all for them. That's I can't say any word. Right. Most of the time when I meet people right I don't hear their name right or there are certain words. I always am afraid to say how the fuck This is so weird man. How do you fucking do?

comedy and Your death I'm gonna tell you what I think happened. I've been deaf since I'm about 12. Right. So, I went to this audience, great audiologist finally. And, you know, I know not a shit audiologist, just, so I went to this great audiologist and she sat down, she said, she did some reading. I know what I said. Can you take that squeaky, that's fucking up everything. I told my wife, no fucking squeaky toys.

I usually stab all the fucking squeaky toys. To get the air out of the... Yeah, so it doesn't make a noise noise but she fucking snuck another one behind me It really is a murder in your future. You know that right? At some point I would make a noise I said So I go ahead I went to Saudi Alastair and she did a pretty amazing thing Yeah, she put me in a sand both and she played a sentence with headset on yeah, and she could what did you hear?

I didn't hear any part of that sentence and she just laughed at you. No, she said, I had deaf. She may have said I didn't hear. So what she then said is, okay, I'm going to tell you what the sentence is about. She said, I didn't play anything. That's why I read it. I'll I hear wood. That's what I heard. But she then said, I'm going to tell you the subject matter. Yeah. And played it again. I heard every word clear as about. She did not raise the level. She said, what has happened to you over the years? Is that your brain is working at a much higher effort level. Yes.

She said this, Robert, you're going to jump in my shit when she said it, but she said it. She said, part of the reason you developed such an intelligent, you're gonna jump in my shit when she said it, but she said it. She had part of the reason you developed such an intelligent, you're so smart, she said. You said, you added it that. You just added it that. I don't know exactly what she said, I couldn't hear it, but she said, she gave you a compliment

to ease the fucking pain of being deaf. But every doctor does that. But everybody does that. Everybody says, no, there's something else that happens. Your brain fills in what it expects to hear. Okay, so that's why sometimes I'll miss here something so, because I was on a different wavelength, but I heard it crystal clear, but I didn't hear it.

So she said, that's why, and she told me, this is true. When I think we're hearing aids, when I lay down and stop talking, I would go to sleep immediately. And she said, because your brain is tired, you're working harder to hear these words. I think when I was on stage all these years. That's what people did too.

When you started talking, people would actually lie down and go to sleep. Just FYI, when you took your hearing aid out. I can't say part parts of it, but you can say, FYI, I always shitting a sprout of a vagina. Just FYI when you took your hearing aid out. I can't say part of parcel But you can say FYI. I always shake a sprout of vagina. It's FYI. This is this fucking decade. Oh FYI LL Anyways your story ace up. Go ahead. What happened to these? I think I developed Better as a comic and with crowd work because I never heard what people said

But I had a guess what they were on. It's interesting First of all, let me just say this Where's your the chat room this guy just wrote this is terrible. All right, no not this not the podcast the actual chat room It's just a shit idea. They can't hear you. They can't hear it. No, okay can't hear it. No. Okay. So, the only thing that's going on in this chat room, is people saying what their screen names are.

You see what their screen name is, and they write something. So nobody can hear it. They're supposed to be able to hear us right now. It's probably better than they can. Yeah, well, they will someday. Maybe they can chat about this week's podcast. No, the saying is built in microphone.

It says it's fucking, it's working. So, fuck them. Um, I don't know what you guys want me to tell you. Um, anyways, I, I think that, that you say this, that you, you're, you're actually smarter or become a better comic because your deaf, I felt the same way. And this is not the same thing, but I think it is. When I thought I shit my pants on stage one night,

because I had to honest to God and I know the sounds fucked up. Hey, oh, absolutely. I count myself as one of the unfortunate people that now know this. Because I thought I farted on stage, but I had really bad gas. And I thought I shit my pants. I in my head I went, I just shit myself. In front of an audience. 10 minutes into an hour set. Okay, in front of a packed room.

Oh, okay. Kill it. Get your ear. Unbelievable set. I'm like having fun. Quiet, I just shit my pants. I slowly backed up, went to the wall, put, then I actually added this into my act,

this is just as far, I put the leg up that I thought the shit would dribble down. I put that up on the wall, then I actually added this into my act, it's just as far, I put the leg up that I thought the shit would dribble down, I put that up on the wall, and I took my hoodie off, and I tied it around my waist. Sure, good breath. And I stood there for 50 minutes, and I couldn't move, because I thought poo would might fling out or fly on some people's faces.

And I, and it actually made me a better comic because I had to rely on the jokes. Yep, and I focused beyond belief. I had to focus on the other knowledge of, does it smell? The people know absolutely. Yes, so I do agree that you being deaf is very similar to my experience.

I believe that a lot of deaf people say, I'm ready to shit myself. I think most deaf people think, well, at least I have a shit myself. I, I think, uh, anyways, um, I, it's fascinating. I mean, it's great by the way to hear you on the radio. Everyone has just heard you check average. I mean, it's great by the way. To hear you on the radio, everyone has just heard you check average, I don't know. You were checking a text message. That was from my wife who's actually waiting outside.

She didn't want to come in. She didn't come in? It's my house. I'll make that judgment. Okay. I'll make that call. You have to fucking, you really are just an owner of shit.

It's just an owner, an owner, dad, cocksucker. You know what I mean? She's a man. I do of shit. It's just an owner, an owner, dad, cocksucker. You know what I mean? She's a man. I can do it when she's a kid. You know what? Fuck you. Now she can't stay out.

How's that? You just made my wife know. You know what? I gotta tell you now. What did you say her first name is? I have terrible. Don. Don.

Not terrible. You're deaf. We just went over that. Don, I can go. Yeah. She can come in. Don, you can come in. If you can hear this. Anyways, she's not allowed to talk on the podcast though. Well, she probably doesn't want to. She actually doesn't speak.

She doesn't speak. No, she lost her voice as a young girl. I can marry that woman, it wouldn't even matter. Oh my God. It's weird though, you've been, most people don't know your fucking death. No, most people just think you're a fucking asshole That doesn't listen. I honestly got I used to get mad at you Is I'd be fucking sitting there going Vinny Vinny Vinny and then you wouldn't and I'd be like fucking what the fuck

And then one day you like dude. I can't hear yeah, I was like I've secretly hated you Well, you can't the secret a lot of of people hate me, just let me know. Well, dude, let's get into that, too. You're a comic, dude. This is the thing. You're a fucking comic, and you're on a club. Right. So it's weird, man, that you have this,

you're gonna be fucking hated. You're gonna be hated because of the decisions you make for whatever reason for your business. And you're a fucking family and you're a fucking livelihood. But then you're a comic. So you know our secrets, but you, you know what I mean? So you're, dude, you're like a fucking, you're like the white wizard in fucking Lord of the Rings.

Yeah, I'm having double agent, I've been calling that everything. It's double living. It's very weird, dude. And I mean, but there's this notion, let me tell you this notion, the notion is that a guy can't do both. And I've proven that wrong. Hang on, that's my wife. Hi, Dee.

These are a couple of products we picked up. That's This is my daughter Danielle. That's just yeah, and this is my friend Hannah That's not that's not his friend. That's her friend. That's my friend Like you just did anyways Anyways like you just did anyways anyways I don't forget the fire I'm a mom she designed the whole thing it looks awesome yeah looks very chic look good word I like that word yeah now you're headed into this fucking center yeah yeah yeah good so here's it. Hang on. Hey, he yeah, bring him downstairs.

Fucking you got to love women. No, women of the best your wife. How nice is your wife? You're way. Your daughter. First of all, your daughter's alternative comedy, sense of humor is awesome. She went. I think she goes, I feel like I'm missing all the funny. And then she goes, I already felt that way.

That's great, really. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, it's Daniel wrote one of my favorite jokes of all time. Don't tell that, don't say that. Oh, she's a great writer. Great writer. She wrote one of your jokes? No, no, I don't do the joke.

She wrote a joke that I love. Okay, what is it? The joke is that she said that, I gotta remember how to phrase it. She said that black people are not, they're bigoted. Yeah. Because colored people is an inappropriate use,

you can't say colored people, but they have the NAACP and the CP stands for color people. As you guys, I think the colored people should be forced to change that to the African American. Right. But don't never do it because that's the NA, AA, AA. And that just spells NA. Yeah. Which I like.

I like it. That's actually funny. Yeah, it's good joke. So back to being on both sides of it. Have you talked about this before? Not in a podcast. You've never done it. No.

No one's ever talked to you. I mean, because I don't want to. I hate this one thing I hate is when, you know, I hate rehashing shit. No, I don't you. I mean, because I don't want to, this one thing I hate is when I hate rehashing shit. No, I mean, I'd rather just funny. And this would be a topic because here's the thing. I'll tell you something funny. Yeah, I love the Patrease. Right.

And two things happened. You know, Patrease used to tell me all the time. Just be a club owner. Just be a club owner. Right. And he would say to me, you're not funny, but you're not funny,

and you really trash me. Right. To me. Yeah. me, you're not funny, but you're not funny, but you really trash me. Right. To me. Yeah. And I think, you know, I don't think you ever trashed me anybody off. No, he would be. Patrice being Patrice. No, Patrice, look, Patrice, I mean, I think that the guys that all of us, that's the

one good thing about us, that fans kind of take and abuse, we trash each other through our faces. Right. If you stink, you stink. kind of take in abuse, we trash each other through our faces. If you stink, you stink. We tell you to face. But that's because people are friends in some way. Absolutely. If you don't like somebody, you don't really do that.

You will, but it's in a fucked up way. But I hear you saying, go ahead. And now, the last time he's on the club, he was right before he passed. And it's really hard for me because, we had really interesting conversation. And. What was it?

Well, Patrice was talking about not wanting to perform anymore and get out of performing and to do a production. And he was talking about the audience and the business and the business eating them alive and not being free to say what he wanted to say. And that the audience was, he loved the audience but it was a very odd thing.

He was talking about the audience draining him and wanting things from him beyond the performance. And in the conversation, I said, in the Patriots, you should really do a podcast. And I already knew what I was going to do when I said, listen, Patriots, you should be doing a podcast because you can say whatever you want. And there's nobody that can stop you. And if it gets big enough, you can monetize it and be paid for your art. So I actually, I convinced him to come and do a podcast on Thursdays with me. I'm sure he's going to come down every Thursday and do the live podcast. Which would have been fun because we had

a lot of great conversations for very different politically. But anyway, so it was a really difficult conversation because all we get along, I kept trying to talk to him about how great he was and to not quit, but to find another way to monetize what he was doing. People are like, this is what we all do for the art. I mean, I know when you walk on stage, you want to be funny. And if you could walk on stage and make five million dollars but not be funny, you wouldn't do that necessarily.

There would be a break there for you. But below that to a thousand dollars. I'm sorry. Lower that to a thousand dollars. Well, no, you know what I mean though. Yeah. Five million dollars. I would tell everybody to go fuck themselves.

Okay. Get my, pay this place off. There's a number. There's a number. It's five million. Yeah, five million. But, but, so one of the things Patrice said that night, I told him a story about, he was, I was in fun with him one day.

And I was in my office. And everything was racial between Patrice and I. Like, you know why, dude, you don't get it. He came to my Super Bowl party and told me there's no black people here. I said, Patrice, there's you and Keith. Right. And he goes, yeah, just two, I'm like, okay.

What the fuck Super Bowl party did you have with all of me? I've invited everybody in my party. I wasn't invited. Well, I'll tell you what, this year I am telling you bring you I can't make it So anyway, um, I generally don't invite a lot of comments anyway because it wasn't that it's a family party You would actually fit in very well, right right because you have a life right so anyway, uh, I want to get into that too But you said that a couple times already. I want to get into that we were gonna do it But go ahead. No, don't tell me we're gonna do it. I said we're gonna It's my fucking podcast you fucking control freak go ahead

So another phone Patrita is rallying me about racing and I went I looked up the clock and it was 301 Yeah, and next thing I know I thought sleep I looked up it was 314 and Patrice did not stop. He didn't know I felt sleep. Yeah man just kept yeah. So the last time is in the club. It's happened to me. That's happened to me five times. Oh yeah. Well I told the story. And all we get along he was happy but in the dumps he was talking about my mother because he was close to my mother. He laughed as hard as he did all we got along. And he grabbed me and he gave me a big hug. Because you know, being at Tyson, I'm always busting your balls. You're a good comic.

And it was like being anointed because it was Patrice. Right. And then when he had the stroke, I had a really difficult time because I knew it wasn't an end good. My dad died from the stroke. And I had a dream a week after that that he came to me and he was trying to communicate with me and he couldn't. And I really just, I'm not a cryer, and that really just got to me because it was Patrice and because of who we, you know, more than, you know, more than would normally,

because normally I can deal with it. I've lost both my parents. I've lost friends, you know, but anyway, so back to the comic club thing, you know, hearing that from Patrice and knowing that I know you think I'm funny, I know, you know, hearing that from Patrice and knowing that I know you think I'm funny. I know, you know, Norton has told me I'm funny. So there's the guy that I respect.

There's guys. I'll tell you this. I'll be up front with you. I'll say it and I'll stand by it. First of all, let's just analyze what Patrice said to you. He said that you were good. Right. Not great. Not not really good. Just good. So I will

Sturgeon is terrible. I will agree. You're good. You know, listen, if someone has to be on stage and it's gotta be you I thought he's isn't gonna run out. Look, no man, I've seen the thing you get, the reason why is you get the club owner, comic stigma, because a lot of guys go up and they do that joky, shit. Well, it's back, it's from the 80s in the early 90s. It's from when club owners, comics said fuck it and became club owners.

You were a guy, you're a businessman that became a club owner and then became a com. Well, you know I became a club owner, right? You were doing comedy. But I was doing comedy, but I got black balls out of comedy because you sucked. No, I'm kidding. That came much later as we did that.

No, what happened is I was doing an open-market rascal. Now the first time I went on stage, I was probably 29. And we're there about something at age. And my first minute of stage, I killed. I didn't have anything prepared and I killed. And I thought to myself, well, this can be easy. And so I spent the whole week writing material. And now the next time I was on stage,

at the same open-micle week later, I was so bad they turned the sound lights and stage, everything off at one time. Literally the end of my set, which at that moment I said, I quit comedy. Now Paul Vanier, who was I'm seeing it, said to me, you listen, no, no, no, you don't quit. That last week was the anomaly.

This week is what should have happened. Last week when you killed, that was weird. Tonight, no, that's what happens. That happens a lot, dude. I mean, I remember when I first got on stage too, I think the excitement, the newness, there's something about that that is like what the fuck. And then the next week, the reality hits and you try.

The first week, you don't try and your natural instinct, what you later will become, Yep, actually comes out. 100% of rig. And then the next week you're like, I can do it again. And when you try, it's fucking blood. Robert, I had rigged up for my second performance ever. I'd never told this story to anybody.

I rigged up two water squeeze bottles and I put tubing one to my groin and two to my armpits. And the joke was, I was gonna say I'm not nervous, and squeeze them, and we would see the water stain. And it looked like I'd pee my pants. I want to shut the mics off. I know you don't. No, you know, you want to hear this. You could hear it from the happen. So I wore the wrong kind of pants. When I squeezed the tubes, water just shot down into my socks. So I did the joke and squeezed the water. And then I paused for a laugh and looked down and no one knew what happened.

And my arms didn't work. It was just the most uncomfortable. Because then I'm like, oh fuck, that was my joke. So now I'm not laughing. I just have wet socks. Ha ha. Can I tell you though, I used to have, when I first started. I had buck teeth. I had plastic wet socks. You know what I am, I used to have when I first started.

I had Bukti. I had plastic Bukti. And I used to do, I would do, it was like literally 10 minutes in my act, 8 to 10 minutes. And I used to do a goofy vampire. Sure. Duh. I used to go, you should use these and go into a hardware store. Is anybody got a file?

Yeah, I would just go on and on and one night I forgot them. And that was my act. I tried to make white buck teeth out of like a paper plate and they just got wet and just became a ball of fuck and wet paper. A ball of cardboard. It was the worst and that's when I learned I got to write. I actually got to write fucking jokes. That fucking night.

And you're right, when you become really good. Right. Now I just did a step before I came here. You did, where? At the after club. At your club. And what I did is I went up, to get good, I think you have to really, I play with my cadence.

I said, okay, I'm not gonna be animated. I'm gonna be very quiet. So tonight I did a very quiet set, and all new shit, I forced myself to just go up and do new material. And tonight I just ripped a little bit on Christmas and how we're colossal, depending on the ass, Christmas is, and the set went very well.

But it's because you're doing that real moment, which you can't do when you're on time three, third time you're on a stage, you can't have that real moment necessarily. Why? Because you're too nervous on the third time. The first time I agree with you, you go up and you're not trying once you're trying. Yeah, you're fucked. It's almost like, I mean, happens in podcasts a lot too. Yeah, people come come on and too great on the podcast. And you're like, Holy shit, dude, come back. And

the next time they try and it's like, yeah, what happened? It's like, you really just got a fucking, and you're like, holy shit, dude, come back. And the next time they try and it's like, what happened? It's like, you really just got a fucking, and then that's, I mean, that's what happens on stage after time and time. You can finally become, I think when they find, when a comic finds their voice, when a comic hits their rhythm, all that horse shit, it's just a comic not caring anymore. And taking that secret self, the guy in the middle of the night when they think of something funny,

I should have wrote that down. When you're taking a piss, that's fucking funny. When you're with your chick, are you friend and you go blah, blah, blah, that guy on stage. And you're not thinking about the other comics, you're not thinking about the club owner, you're not thinking about the fans, how many tickets you sold, how much money you make,

you're just thinking about, I wanna talk I want to talk about this and my way. And that's when you actually play. And when you find that comfort level across your career, that's when you really hit a stride. I'll tell you, now I was always nervous on an audition. You go on and say, I get nervous on an audition. Yeah, because you're just stinking acting. I actually have a pretty good acting.

Are you really? Yeah, you do a scene right now. Okay. I'm gonna show you something. I wanna do a scene real quick, ready? You're just a guy, you're just a guy in elevator. I step in and just go with what I do. Hey, how you doing, man?

Hi, how are you? I don't talk to strangers. Why? Why? I'm doing all of that, I'm sorry. Say you're stinky. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because what I wanted to do with you

is just fuck around. When I say I'm a good actor, Say you're stinky. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I hate you. No, actually, I would be the problem for me. I'm a people person. I'm the guy stepping in the elevator going, hey man, what's up? I'm Vinnie. What are you like? I'm chattep, anybody. But I watched Brewer doing audition.

We were out in LA two years ago. And we were just doing the club. I was opening for him. And he could say, I got an audition at Disney, you want to go? Right. So I'm like, now I go to that. So it was a animated, so's gonna do a voice. Yeah, but I'd never been to this level of an audition

Because this level with audition was the guy maker the producer the writer in a sound booth with a glass wall and the director and you know and the decision makers so Burgo's and he's got the sides and And the decision makers so Burgo's and he's got the sides and He walked in to say he was casual is he walked in I don't like if he walked in here and I said hey robber. What are you doing? Like he just didn't give a shit. Yeah, who we were talking to goes in the booth blows a lines out now in the room in the glit

I'm in the other side of the glass wall. Yeah, and And everybody in there is cracking up. And some girls in there goes, oh my God, will he read for my project? Do you think he'll read for my project? And the guy goes, ask him. And they go in and I see them talking, the mic's off. And he goes, yeah, go, go, go, go, go, you shit. And she comes back with some other lines.

He had never seen lines before. He looks at them. And shakes his head. Yes. Blows lines out. Murderers it. Murderers it. They say, well, can you do it this way? Murderers it again.

Can you do this way? The whole thing lasts 15 minutes. He walks around, man, man, thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. Yeah, good seeing you. Good seeing you. We get in the car. We're 20 minutes outside the studio.

The phone rings. Cancel your flight. You're doing both jobs this week. Right. Okay, now I said to him, like, holy shit, I go, how were you at that comfort level? How did you get to that comfort level where you just didn't give a shit

about Disney, you're in the Disney campus, have you ever been in the Disney campus? Yeah, but I mean, I mean, Vinnie. But you know what you said to me? What? This is what you said. Oh, this is a fucking longer story for this and I almost fucked it up. Go ahead. He just looked at me and he said, Vinnie. But you know what he said to me? What? He said, oh, this is the fucking longest story for this and I almost fucked it up.

Go ahead. He just looked at me and he said, Vinnie, he doesn't give a shit what I do. I'm just being myself. If they want me, they want me. If they don't, they don't. I have nothing to do with what I do. He said I could get this job because my voice is right

cause it's wrong. You can't just say something about you right now. You're a storyteller. I love something. But in life, you love fucking, that fucking beginning middle end or that fucking lifetime story You just told on my podcast really makes me sick. I was that bad because it doesn't well here

It is I don't need to hear a fucking brewer story. I can you have nine stories like that. I have fucking nice But what taught me to not give a shit that's my fucking a week ago for God's sakes Go on you do that. You know what you know what, no, I didn't. I didn't do that. We all know not to give a fuck. It's the decision, don't think for a second. There's times where Brewer does give a fuck. I'm sure he does.

So it's just at that moment that it's like whatever that was, voice over work or whatever the job, I'm gonna give a fuck, I've done a million. But when it comes time to book that fucking Steven Sparrowberg, maybe an Oscar, holy shit, people give a fuck. It's our decision to make. I'm gonna tell you something, I don't think I'll give a fuck anymore. It's our decision to make.

That's good, if you don't. I don't think I do. It's our decision to make, but also what helps you not give a fuck. And I've talked to Patrice about this, is the fucking scratch gut, okay? Where you are financially. If you got money to pay your bills and you don't have to worry about next month's rent, like a lot of us do, you don't give a fuck because you, I don't need you. But let me take the notes that helps you not give a fuck. When your wife walks in the door and you're obviously happy.

Right, yes. Okay, so you know that I think of it. That does help you, right? You're absolutely your life, your life. And this goes back to what you say, you've said a couple times is your life, you have a life, you've said that to me, you have a life. So I agree with you, man, you brought that up a couple times.

People forget, and I didn't have a life for around maybe 12 years of this business Maybe longer where I fuck life. I was married to comedy. I was married to the road I was married to doing making people laugh right that's all I gave a fuck about as becoming Funny or it's successful and then all of a sudden I woke up one day and I almost lost it all it almost all went away and all I would have been left with was this fucking business. And I made a choice, you know what?

I'm gonna, I'm gonna go be happy. Yeah. In life. And that's the day I became funny. That's when I started being funny. Well, you know, I just went out and we had meetings. We were pitching a show and we had meetings. Who's we?

Well, Brewer and I produced a show now. What is it? Well, this was a reality show about my life. Really? Yeah. What's it called? It's called the Brands of Comedy. And it's good.

It's very good. It's got great reception. I know, maybe Zinc, that's that. It's so confident. No, that I like that, that's stupid. You actually, you know what I'm saying? There's only certain people's names. Like, my name stinks because you can't do anything.

I'm like, dang cook. What a fucking name. That's great name. What a fucking dang cook. Cooking, cooking with dain. Yeah. Cooking common. There's so many fuck DC, fucking,

and you're a fucking Vinny brand. That should not make sense, but all of a sudden the brands are gonna motherfucker. Well, I'll take them out. Well, we'll get in that in a minute. It's a good name. You're gonna need me on another couple of podcasts.

But the thing is that in pitching this show, I'm sitting there with these executives and they're the big, they're the decision makers. There's levities involved, e-wons involved, William Morrison devils involved. We're in with the right people. And one guy sitting in the mean, what do you want out of the show?

I said, let's not say something. The show doesn't have anything for me. Just something I'm doing now. I go, I want to do business with you. I really do. I go, I'm gonna be very honest with you. If my phone rings, my wife, and she needs to talk to Just something I'm doing now. I go, I want to do business with you, I really do. I go, I'm going to be very honest with you. If my phone rings, my wife, and she needs to talk to me, I'm going to walk out that door, I'm not going back.

And the guy's like, really, you would say, I got this a man. I really want you to check me out, but I'm telling you right now, if that phone rings, my wife, I'm walking out. It's great meeting you. And I still want to do it, but that's what's important to me. And after the meeting, the guy goes, Hey, man, I've never had anyone talk to me like that. And I was like, great, because I hope we can do it, but that's what's important to me. Right. And after the meeting, I go, hey, man,

because I've never had anyone talk to me like that. Right. And I was like, great, isn't it? I hope we can do some work together. Now, who knows? You may not buy the show, but I thought you sold the show. No, we haven't sold it yet. You're producing it with...

We've produced it, and we're pitching it. Did you already film it? Oh, yes. Yeah. So, what is the show about? Tell me the show is about it. It's just about me being a comic, owning the club. You know, my life's kind of crazy.

I'm on the board of education. I coach two soccer teams. I have sheep and goats. I have a farm. Yeah. You know, I'm completely over dedicated to my family. Right. And I love this career.

And I know people can I ask you a question? Yeah. Do you do drugs? No. You on anything? This is you. Yeah. All the time.

All the time. I've never never that fucking intense eyeball thing you have Yeah, is you that's me. I've never done a drug in my entire life I'm just I'm just asking you because you have You have that fucking on I don't know what to say entrepreneur Fucking energy that you don't I mean that guy for $50 You two can flip a house and fuck you know't even mean that guy for $50, you too can flip a house and fuck, you don't even mean you've got that fucking, that fucking I am gonna make millions out of nothing energy

that you don't, I don't see you take naps. I don't take a lot of naps. But I got things to say. This is the thing, it's now, I feel more empowered now in my life than ever, because the walls have been taken away. The keys. Listen, you're doing a podcast that nobody at NBC or CBS,

or anyone else can say, no, no, Robert didn't fit our, no, they can't stop you. Well, I actually said this two years ago, me, Billy, Burr, and Joe DeRosa were talking, and we were having the, it's the same shit. It's like, look, you wanna be accepted into the inner circle of course. You want the fucking NBC,

he's in the CBS and the fucking, the levities and the CAAs and all. Of course you do. Of course. But it usually happens when you don't want it. We're not that we don't want it, when you don't give a fuck about it Yeah, when I stopped when I told Matt Frost I don't want to audition for any more festivals

I'm done being rejected the next year. I got every single festival. Yeah, literally in a row like no Boom boom boom boom boom. No is the most powerful word because you say you know I got my shit if you want it right offer to me don't ask me to show you my where you know, I got my shit. If you want it, offer to me. Don't ask me to show you my where, you know who the hell I am. But I didn't hate, this is the other thing too. I didn't hate him. The other corner, the other side of it, some people hate them.

Some people hate the business. Some people get bitter and fuck them. And, you know, like, I never hated the festivals. Now, now that I'm like Montreal Festival, just for, I love, I am good friends with a lot of people that run that festival. I really give a shit about people behind the scenes. And you like the people.

If they never pick me again, I don't care. But if they do, that's great. But I really care about them. And I've had the best time. The last festival was fucking great. And like I said this to Burr, like I was saying, two years ago, it was like why, I was sitting there with Joe talking about some funny shit.

I said, this is our movie. And I said, this is it. Why go try to sell to somebody? Why go try to pitch it to somebody? Why go on an audition? Why go on a fucking audition? And try to book a role that 99.9% I'm not going to get. Because somebody famous wants it. Let's just go make this. book a role that 99.9% I'm not gonna get. Right.

Because somebody famous wants it. Let's just go make this. Let's spend our money, not on video games, not on fucking bullshit. Let's take a few grand each and make this movie. And we fucking did. And then it went into fucking the festivals. I'm not trying to move, I heard it's good.

Yeah, it's a great movie. It's a 15 minute short. Try it back, I loved it, picked it up, it killed. That's why I have that fucking, that's why I'm in the writers guild. Because that little fucking thought, and we didn't say, fuck it, or maybe next, oh, we just went and did it, and then we kept doing it. We kept doing the next step and the next step, and the next step and kept doing that.

We got a fucking book deal coming out with Simon and Schuster for that little thought. Ned, you got a copy. Can I take a copy home and watch it? What? The movie? I'll get you the link. I love it. Hey, here's the thing, too. Now, 15 years ago, that wasn't doable for a lot of other reasons because the technology

because you had a deviled film because some guy had to sit there and slice and cut. Yeah. You have a fucking, some little nerdy guy in a room going, you know, to get a fucking, someone got a nerdy guy in a room going, you know, you had to get a fucking, you had to rent the $500,000 camera. Exactly. A pan, a pan of vision. And you can shoot him down. I got the flip camera, it was pretty good.

I'll tell you what, what are they? The five Ds, Canon five Ds, is that what they call it? Great camera here. I, I, I, I, I'm no joke. No fucking joke. I had, you know, Jim Cerebroco from Apostle. I, he came to one of my shows with his fucking 5D. We thought of a show the night before the steakhouse.

The next day we shot it. Absolutely. A fucking, we shot a fucking... Did you light it? We didn't need to. You know what I mean? It was a fucking, it's a talk show out of the back of a U-Haul truck. And we literally just pull up to star- anywhere.

Pull up, open the back, and we interview fucking everyday people. Robert, I have had this idea forever, but I'm gonna tell you something a little bit different. I'll little twist. And I'd love to do it with you if you're already doing it. I don't want to worry about it. Sorry, done, but go ahead. What are you doing in as a regular thing?

Yeah. Oh, let me tell you, I'd love to be a... We use it all. You hold, yeah. No, I'm not doing it all. What I was gonna do is the Roving Talk Show. And what I wanted to do is, for example, for musical guests, I wanted to go into the subway.

And okay, there's a guy playing the flute. He's my musical guest. We actually pull up, we'll go, we actually pull up to the house. Like the last episode, we pulled up to the house of the band and they came out and did the fucking show on the back of the near the U-Haul. And then we interviewed them on the show, like a regular show, and then we actually did comedy. So I would, I'll definitely love to have you. I'd love you. If you want to do that. We had a

Dan Soda, we pulled up right into a Dunkin' Donuts. There was like 10 people in the crowd from Dunkin' Donuts in There was like 10 people in the crowd from Dunkin' Donuts in an entire place, and he did five minutes standup right there. It's great. Right now on the truck, five minutes standup killed it for five minutes, and then we did the interview on the show, did trivia, there was an audience there,

people just walking by, there was a traffic jam behind them. Crazy shit. But that's more entertaining than something I got scrubbed by Who's ever people scrub meaning you know well sanitize and washed and you know you can't do that joke and you can't just right Yeah, I mean look at we keep it I keep it more clean that I do this podcast because I do yeah I do want fucking you haul is giving us free trucks, you know You know great great company and you know, other companies, we pull up to a Dunkin' Donuts.

We get Dunkin' Donuts to sponsor it. We could pull up, there was a, a UPS truck drove by. I mean, literally the sponsorship is endless on this fucking show. It's unreal. We pull up anywhere and interview anybody any time. And we had a doctor on the show

who was an ex-gang member. We had these chicks at Starbucks. See, to me, that show is more interesting than me listening to James Franco talking about how he got into the character of the guy at 127 hours. Not that James Franco was an interesting, I'm sure he is. But okay, they've been doing that forever. You can find Jimmy Stewart talking about getting into character with Johnny Carson. And now I've heard every douchebag talking about getting into character with Johnny Carson. And now I've heard every douchebag talking about getting into character. But here's the thing is that, you know, I think around maybe 10 years ago,

you sat around and waited for somebody to give you something. Right? When somebody tapped you on the shoulder and said, you kid, and then when it didn't happen to guys like you or me or whatever, we just faded off into the distance. Disappeared. Doesn't fuck that. Absolutely. Now we get to fucking just do it ourselves

And you know it's funny robber is the walls are coming down Faster now right because listen you ask my daughter I bet you my daughter doesn't watch my television my daughter is watching wherever she watches on her MacBook Okay, so for her I bet you shouldn't watch modern family which is a good show. It's a funny show Yeah, but you probably don't watch it because for her Well, why would I sit down and watch TV? Yeah, I'm gonna watch what I want to watch when I want to watch it I want to see a guy getting hit in the balls with a with a sledgehammer on YouTube So the walls are coming down faster all the time and now it's gonna be the race to who can produce and who is the

Personality to draw people and entertain them and this is what we've been doing for 20 years. So I think it's guys like us. And I don't mind telling people, look, you know what, when I walk on stage, I don't worry about whether you're in entertainment. I know I'm going to entertain you. That's not, I'm not, that's the furthest thing from my mind. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, you know, it's weird. I think that, I think one thing that fame does give you is it gives you true fans of your comedy. And I was talking to Billy Gardell about this too, because he kind of popped.

Oh yeah. He was, you know, just a guy like one of us and then got that fucking boom, that break. I think he was weak. He said he was weak so way. I'm quitting. A week's away from quitting. What did he really? Yeah, he was weak. So he had a gig. His friend, um, his friend had a radio show in Pittsburgh. And they offered him a spot on the show. Just he could do his comedy, do the

show and just live life. Just just live fucking life. Yeah. And I think, you know, that's what he, that's what he fucking did. He was gonna do that and then boom, just, you go dude. And now, all of a sudden he's showing up at shows and they're fucking sold out with people, 100% people to see him. That's why I love clubs that don't give tickets out. That don't do, you know, that's why I love doing shows

at the factory, you give some tickets out. That don't do, you know, that's why I love doing shows at the factory, you give some tickets out, but very, very few. Right, but you sell fucking tickets. So people that come there either love your club and know what to expect and not act, or they love the comic that's there and wanna see him. You know, I don't really have troublemakers at your club. No, in fact the last troublemaker we had,

kind of funny was a, it was at the club? No. No. In fact, the last trouble maker we had kind of funny was that the Wayne's brother show. Well, here you go. Yeah, but it was a 72 year old white drunk grandmother. Really? And I forget what you guys were on stage. It was one of the black brothers. And one of the black brothers.

Yeah, one of the black brothers. But he was great because we had to call the cops. I mean, the ordeal to get this, we were so drunk, should be carried out by the cops. The drunk grandson took a swing at me. It was a real mess. Really. And getting out of the room, he stayed on stage the whole time. It took probably 45 minutes.

He narrated the whole fight. And then he went right back and it was like, and murdered. They're very nice. Very funny guys and very nice guys. They're Wayne's brothers are nice guys. It's a little annoying that, you know, I mean, look, you would do the same thing. It's just keep passing it on and passing it on. Yeah. Why wouldn't you? People get annoyed at, dude, fucking, how many Wayne's brother, but what are you gonna do? Why would you not want your brother and your other brother and your other fucking cousin and your old talented? And they're all counted. And they're all counted. Well, let's not mean they are you know I tell you something they write those movies and Stand up those two guys. They just started workers. They work very hard work. They're fucking workers

That's one thing that I realized in the last yeah in the last three years Just go to work right a guy did every right? Write a fucking script. Absolutely. Write a TV show. Yep. If it fails, write another one. Yep. Film something.

Keep doing it. Do a podcast. If it failed, keep doing it. Yep. Just keep doing it. Just work. The work. If you do the work, if you keep your fucking head down,

yeah. Fuck your agent and they suck and your manager and they're they don't get you what you want. You do the work and you'll get something from it. I agree. It's funny, Robert. I did a comics tale, which we taped and filmed in shot. And it's great.

That's a story-tongued show. And it's, it was- I was supposed to do that. Yes, you were. I fucking had to bail. What happened? I forget something came on my grandfather. Yes, that's right.

My grandfather passed away. But you know who he is? He's doing a show. Wait a year. What a fucking shit year it's, dude. I'm so sick of people fucking dying. Oh, he's the final. Where? I'll do my grandfather Patrice fucking a who you know who did Gerardo filled in for I filled in for him the next week. I was I was literally there that week after Gerardo at your club was the last time I was there. Yeah, I was there the we and it was fucking

after Duraldo at your club was the last time I was there. I was there the wheat and it was fucking, well that night, two things, Duraldo filled in for our comic style. Brewer had a death in his family. It was me, Brewer and Brandon down in Philly, doing a comic style. Brewer coming up here, listen man, my uncle just passed away.

I can't come tonight. So we called Tom Papa couldn't do it. We called a bunch of people, I drawed and said let's not come do the show. It was very skeptical coming down. This is really funny because he went on stage and treated it for the first 10 minutes like Tough Crowd. And you know how crazy Kevin Brennan is.

Kevin Brennan's yelling, it's not Tough Crowd! Yeah, it's great. And Brennan is a staricle. So, draw the then settle down and start telling stories and not shitting on other guys while they were telling their stories. So he got it. So at the end of it, Jorado says, hey, because it took me coming in to get it, he goes, that's a really fun show to do.

I can't wait to do another one. But Brennan was still pissed off that he had tough crowded it for the first 10 minutes. And Brennan looked at him, you're not serious Kevin, you're not doing another one. Which was, you know, it's start really funny. But, Jorala filled in love with the show because this show is different than most story-tongues. This show you go up, you do 10 minutes, the stand up, everyone does their 10 minutes.

And then you can back up and you tell each, just like we're hanging right now. And you're gonna be wearing some shit about me and I'm gonna tell you some stories. With the audience, it becomes very, very fun to do. So I shot that show, I'm pitching that show. I shot the reality show, I'm pitching that. I'm gonna shoot another show in January,

because the walls are down, I can go produce more. You take the money you have that you make, and you can actually produce shit. Absolutely. And just sell it, and get people to, and if it doesn't work Just keep doing it and you know what happens to is it sooner or later someone says hey, I got to be in business with that guy Because that guy's gonna hit or he's energetic or he's doing the work

Well, here's the thing it's even like with this podcast is that you know Thank God that these the people who fucking listen to this thing. Yeah, uh, you know thousands of people I can't it went from hundreds to thousands great. Yeah. It was thousands of people. I can't, it went from hundreds to thousands. It's great. And it'll go from thousands of more. To, well, it's not gonna go to millions. Go to, Robert it very well, mate.

Well, here's a deal. Is that now I can sit here and have people on to talk about whatever I want. Yep. And the people that download this thing every Monday, you know, you can promote your own shit now. And the people are fans of mine and the people that I this thing every Monday, you can promote your own shit now. And the people are fans of mine, and the people that I have on here.

So it's not, the power isn't in someone else's hand who's making the money, it's in my hands, and my fans' hands. So as long as they keep listening, as long as they keep spreading the fucking word, and there's people that donate to this thing, all this technology, all this shit, Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que...

Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que...

Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que...

Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... Así que... y vive la emoción de la Navidad con Isema Madrid. Malinche, Guá, Juvenalia, Circlásica, oro viejo, Crismas by Starlight, Brech y muchos más para disfrutar con familia y amigos. La Navidad cobra vida con Isema Madrid. Entre a Isema.es y compra tu entrada. Isema Madrid, Siente la Inspiración. Jim Norton stop by who Jim Norton stop by Jim Norton oh shit what's up man oh Jesus that's my dog look at that my dog it's Caldysh please pick him up my dog. That one, the boy dog who doesn't like anybody, let's know. He's four dogs.

He fucking loves Jim. Look at him. Because they both, when you wet him, they look the same. How great is the kitchen? Looks good. Huh? I bought some frozen yogurt. Ooh.

Marshmallow. Ooh. Marshmallow. Marshmallow. Marshmallow. Yo, yo. Oh Mashmallow yo-yo It's like a real normal thing to do I gotta get spoons just stop by Yeah, I miss Bob. Oh, I'm going to but we need a Bulls yeah, Bulls I'll get Here, sit here and talk to Vittie.

Hold on, I have to pee badly. Where's the... All right, you know where it does. She's out with Vinnie's daughter and Vinnie's friend. Vinnie's friend, my friend is here, Jim. Yeah, he has a fucking 20-year-old girl friend that he hangs out with. What's up?

Here's the other thing I'd tell you. Is the other thing that the podcast has for you? Yes. Is it let's the marketplace decide on what you really are. I don't fucking do it, Norton. It's just me getting it to. I know he's such an asshole. Norton's disgusted.

He's, he's, I know. I'm, I'm, I'm done now. I'm out. Good Norton's here. I'm out. No, no, no. Fuck you. I love you.

I work with Norton. I have with Norton really stunk. So I have the secret. I'll turn this into tough proud. Don't do it. Listen to me. Very few people have, very few people have climbed to that level of success with such mediocre talent.

Wow. He's funny, shit. Well, here's the thing is that the group that I came up with, I came in just behind, was Norton Bert Patrice. Norton was already big? Well, no, no, but Norton and Patrice and Burr and well, I mean, Voss was already doing it. Keith was already doing it. I think Billy, Billy Patrice and Norton will kind of like at the same level when I came to New York. I came to New York like a year or a year and a half later.

And all of a sudden I was like the little kid in the group. I remember Boston except me. Boston liked me. We used to always fuck with me, but I didn't really take a shit. We almost went at it one night and we flipped chicken wings on my lap at the seller. And we were literally gonna fucking beat the shit out,

like fight. And it was just like, what are we doing? Let's run. And we've been friends ever since. Yeah, it's good, yeah. But until then, he wouldn't like let me in the fucking inner circle bullshit. But I missed, you know what?

I missed, there's one thing that we used to have. We used to hang out all the time. Yeah. Before, when we were all middleers, when we didn't headline, and we weren't all over the fucking country, trying to make a fucking nickel to pay our mortgages, which God bless us, we all have.

How amazing is it that you took some jokes and turned it into a mortgage? It's fucking crazy. I mean, it's country. It's nuts, but it's, uh. I'm not doing it. I mean, I am fucking missed those days. Hang on one second.

I'm gonna switch everything up, guys. I'm on one second. I'm gonna switch everything up guys. I'm gonna stop this. I'm gonna switch it up so Norton can have a microphone and, and yeah. Did you stop it? I just, hang on. All right, so Jim Norton, Norton, Norton has joined the fucking podcast with ice cream and farts.

No, what's ice cream was frozen yogurt and a nice gasser to start things off with. It was terrible. It really was quite an awful thing. It in you sat down you just destroyed Robert's kitchen No, one of these tastes he brought yogurt frozen yogurt, but one of them tastes medicinal. Oh, no, no, not peanut butter It's good. What on? With that whipped cream on there. No, I'm frozen yogurt marshmallow. It's really good Jim. Yeah Well, it's actually the containers that we're eating out of.

Yeah. Was what I used to put Shelby shittin'. Well, no, when I had to clean up my bladder, my bag, my clostomy bag, oh cool, we would put it in this. Sorry. Maybe that's the medicinal type we're getting. Anyways, let's talk to,

talking to Vinny about actually having a life. You're one of the guys, Jim, who, I mean, you have a life, but you'll, I mean, it's not the stereotypical life. Like you have a family, I have a wife, I go on vacation, you go to fucking your farm with goats, Jim, you have a bevy of profit, I know, it's so depressing. It's like, give it to me. I mean, I actually thought about you this week, dude. When I was away, I'm sitting there with Don.

We're doing all this fucking regular couple shit, you know, going out to eat and fucking, you know, put on your polo shirt and you fucking dockers and you're fucking, oh, you dropped again. No, I didn't, I swear to you. That's just hanging in there. What's a dog? I would tell you, that you would tell me that sure you got your gasses a terrible brother. Thank you

Really all right? Oh, that's cool. Are you dating anybody now? You're a fucking No, you broke anything I'm so but yeah, but it's it do you do you want to do you want a chick? Do you want to go on vacation? Like this I was just talking to him about I miss when we were all middle X I miss when we all used to go at the dinner every night and fucking, we'd hang down the cellar or the Boston. We'd go away on vacation together. We, because we can't now, because you're having,

we're all, all, all, just, just, just, just, just, I have nowhere to go for Christmas. You're kidding me. No, I'm going to Boston. Fuck. Why? I'm trying to find something to do for Christmas. You can go to my house.

Yeah, well, I have no one to, no one to say. My family, they're South Jersey, like, way down. Not that far down. Dude, well, I've no one to know in the same. My family. They're South Jersey like way down That's that far down dude. So I'm going to Boston my family's in Boston. How long? Hey, I mean we want to come back the next day. I'm going down You're a Boston, but you won't go to South Jersey to make any sense. I'm not going to Boston How long he's home? Oh, you can definitely listen. I'm being very serious. You can come to my house for Christmas And we have a nice Christmas. We have a lot of people over.

You're normal. I mean, just a fun thing. You want to come to my family's for Christmas in Boston? No, it's too far to go. I'm going to go that far and might as well see my family. Yeah, that's weird. I mean, how far is your family? Like two hours and a half?

Two and a half? Traffic. What traffic? It's on Christmas. It's not traffic. There's no traffic. Do you not want to go home and see your family? I just want to drive is that really it? Yeah two and a half hours. You don't want to drive right? I'm not gonna help to back I got to drive back. Who can I fucking talk with your mouth full? Like a load?

I feel bad. I I miss We miss Thanksgiving this year, what we spent it together anyways. What are you doing for New Year's? Cellar? The cellar? I know it would be a Vinnie's club. New Year's Eve.

Stop by. Stop by. Well, I'm not doing anything else. Stop by. Fucking jump on stage. Do fucking 40 so I can do 50. Uh-huh. I made a mess.

I am, uh, no, I was gonna go away to Minneapolis, or as my agent was saying, mini, do you wanna go to mini? Yeah. But I didn't because I'm afraid of weather. You know bug me about your manager? This is fucking his... His shirt's...

Is fucking a nish... JBL, yeah, he's a twat. He's a... Right now, he's in... He's on the Ivory Coast of Africa. And he's been he's on the ivory coast of Africa and he's been I should I share the picture no he's really he's a very nice but odd fellow yeah I love Jonathan yeah he's a creep but he's really I mean he's got a severe case and he looks like the guy that would you know come in in like in the movie

back in the fucking 20s he'd come in and hey ladies by everybody a drink I'm trying to get shot in the fucking head by the bad guys I'm trying to find the picture John set me hold on this is what he's doing right now with his crispest vacation that's where he is oh wow see now that's just they don't look like nice fellas oh this is what the Libyan army were they not in Africa? Well, Libyan in Africa the rebels in Africa He said now that the streets are have been they're safe because the rebels are in control It looks like what a little kev shows he'll talk to you

But you know he's safe anybody he's safe, but he's not safe because that's not a good environment That's you know, yeah, he goes to weird places, but I love those guys I know a guy like that too. A fucking jackfomest. But if someone has to go do it and someone will write the book and it'll be a great movie, but it's not gonna be me.

I've done it. I've gone to Guatemala twice. I was supposed to go to Burma. Guatemala. Guatemala's not. No, it's not Africa. Guatemala's bad. Guatemala's bad.

You fucking kidding me? No, I fucking nuts. Guatemala, it says on the website, if you're American, don't go. Well, Guatemala, I mean, it's not as bad as it used to be a few years ago because they dismantled the military. So now the actual guerrillas are the government. So now it's not that bad because there's nothing for them to do because they're all making

money. No, no, no, I had a Guatemalan. They're not making money. We had a Guatemalan. Well, I work for it. The guerrillasillas are actually made the drug dealers and all that. I actually had a What's the jack jack fun lived there He lived there and on his prom night got pulled over at gunpoint who did jack fun from Comedy Central He went to a problem of Guatemala

Exactly, you know, he lived there his father. He His father works for the government. U.S. government. My wife, my wife, and he lived there for, you know, his childhood. Well, this is not a, I mean, I'm not talking about the guy that worked for me. His brother was shot and killed for a 10-speed bike. Who would hear that laugh? Well, it's funny. This is not a punchline, but a guy was murdered for a bike. Well, because I have to say that I think with U2 ass like you know he's eating ice cream. He's fine

Why you mad? It's not because Norton is the one of the guys. I'm afraid to sit in the room with because it's so fucking funny I love any He's fine. He's eating ice cream. No, it doesn't there's no gentler Norton when there's little puppies around and fucking frozen yogurt It's really good. Yeah, he's got a V-neck on, come on. Hey, does it look rather uninterminating? Cashmere. Is it cashmere? Of course.

What? Of course. Let me tell you something. I ate so much on my vacation to Aruba. You should move to the fight-of-way. I know, I'm trying to. I worked out every day. I worked out, not every day.

Let me, let me not lie. Okay. I worked out every day. I worked out not every day. Let me let me not lie Okay, I worked out four days in a row. I did we I would wake up at eight in the morning and just walk for an hour Right with my wife. She made me work out and I did yoga one day Yoga is fucking brutal. I threw up in my mouth. Nothing sounds like I'm not even kidding The rising dog pose I got our dog don't want I threw up because my mouth. Nothing sounds like, I'm not even kidding. The rising dog pose. I got that word dog. Don went, I threw up because I was so full from the night before.

I threw up in my mouth. He threw up in an upward dog. I threw up. Let me just say this, right, yoga. Yoga is a faggy, a sounding exercise, but it's hard to do. But let me tell you this, Robert, you need to lose weight because the weight

you're carrying, that's hard to take weight when you carry it on a waist like that. I don't. What do you mean, hot, that way? Because carrying that's hard attack wait when you carry them waste like that Because a man when a man carried weight on the waist like that that makes you much more prone to a heart attack This is my friend Hannah you did get your father sorry about right? Definitely what you getting green tea latte you gotta love these kids So but that's why that way danger that need to Did you get me something honey because because Vinnie's daughter and they got them for something Why why why why

Right, she didn't like it. So she gave it to him. That's great Wow, I have to fucking ruin there. Yeah happy life wait What's the get out of it throw her under the bus you fucking I didn't hear what happened I had to hit the head and I didn't hear it something bad happened my wife's a fucking rest I didn't hear it something bad happened my wife's a fucking rest Fucking don's a real retinor. Yeah, I can't basically what happened was thank you, Norton There was a mistake made Oh, and I got a last I could say you would have known that And my wife was such a twizzle. Thank you dawn through your pal You know what Hannah for just a moment there, I thought the right stuff,

oh, I really couldn't stop this kid, but no, you're just like, thank you, Norton. First, clearing that up for me. Yes, I know I have to lose weight. I mean, but here's the thing, is that, I'm getting, I'm getting fucked up. It's so much weight by the way. So many.

I've lost weight five times. I know, I've lost it. I know how easy it is. It's easy, it's easy. Just go to the gym and stop eating fucking carbs. That's it. That's simple. Not just carbs, the gym and stop eating fucking carbs. That's it. That's simple. Not just carbs.

You can eat carbs, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. I quit smoking. Eat more. I live right. I quit smoking. Every time I book to be exactly that long. I quit smoking.

Get off your ass and don't eat everything you touch. I quit smoking for four months ago. Good for you. So you put weight on I'm a fucking absolutely and I'm I gotta cut myself some slack I know right it's it's like you know that was it quitting smoking this time was fucking the hardest thing I've done well as important it was fucking terror Lord did you need to smoke yeah I smoked for 17 years I quit December of

Oh one good for you. But you gain weight too. Yeah, I put some weight on, sure. But you can't, there's no way around it. I put weight on recently, I'm trying to knock it back off. How much weight did you look good actually? I was gonna have to feel gross. Nah, you look good.

Can I hurt my knee after John Jones kicked me? What did you do? John Jones kicked me in studio. You hurt me? My knee. My knee. But then I had a, so I was being ginger. You walk in certain ways so you don't,

we've rehearsed this whole, and I made my knee more sensitive because my thigh was sore. I'm getting into bed one night. You just kneel and twist in the bed, and I just, I pulled it, I could feel I pulled it. And for two days, I'm like, I'm gonna need surgery.

It was agonizing. And then it started to feel better. Did you get an MRI? No, I didn't need one, it's better now. Are sure? I love it. What people tell me their knees are bad am I your knees are heroic These are heroic. I was in There's nothing better to be fat and be in a rubah. I mean just to wear Manchibo Bay nice. We've stayed all over

We've stayed in pretty much every place there except for the high rise Hyatt and did you take a Jeep and go to the back of the island by yourself? We've done that but we've done the tour. I did by myself one day. Did you ever do the cave where you? Yeah, you're getting your knees so we went to the cave one night just Vicki and I It's like a dusk. If some a Ruben guy walks out of the weeds is like I'll give you the tour. Yeah Yeah, so I go there's no bats in there right because my wife's afraid of bats And of course isn't speaking English. He's going no no no no we get in there and he shines a flash I can see the bats and my wife's like

Oh god, no more new this cave this yeah because he scared because he wants to go to the girls and you're holding him I don't know cuz fucking Vinnie's voice is my voice that scared me but it it hurts dogs. I think I what happened in yeah, we went in and then they They you get down Norton There's these caves you go to on the back of the island. It was all nervous. I shut up Who gives a shit put dog shaking fucking home? Oh shut up What on the back down when you go in and there's literally you have to crawl on your stomach or your ass What that to go? Is there no chip on the podcast?

I don't know. Don was doing chip in a room. The fucking anger in the shit out of me. Just bugs me and no, we're in the fucking literally in the water. It's beautiful out. I have my iPhone in this new, it's called Life Proof Case. Yeah, they're amazing. They work.

Waterproof. Yeah, waterproof. Sandproof, waterproof, shockproof. You can drop it on the ground bringing in the fucking ocean. Right. Drop it. So the case nothing happens. Right. So the case malfunction. Yeah, until it's not. No, no, no, it's fucking fine all week and I beat the shit out of it. And I have waterproof headphones so you can listen to fucking water and swim and whatever. Yeah, why would you want to just enjoy the elements? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, why would you want to just enjoy the elements? Exactly. Exactly. Well, why wouldn't you just enjoy the being in the, why go there?

You know, awesome was fucking snorkeling, listening to music. That's gotta be cool. Fucking crazy, that was. I don't like the water proof headphones, because they're all hard plastic and they hurt my ears. Yeah, we have sensitive ears. You've never been snorkeling.

You've never done, you've never done that. You've never rented a fucking Three-wheeler and never went to a cave never went on vacation. What do you do? Do you go on vacation? No, why I would love to I went to Vegas with my ex a couple years ago. I would like to go to a spa, but who am I gonna go with I have no one to go with Well, why have you ever gone out of the country like a rubour or a saint no but I would I would but I'm work too much. I like what would the distant thing what would you do look? I was Hang on I was honestly got thinking about him on my vacation like I'm out in the sun It's eight o'clock in the morning sitting out. I don't relax and do it and do it What would you do your soul to the spa? Oh, you're like a fucking little baby vampire. I go to the spa every day

In the size that would get facials. I would lay on the beach. I would go to the station. Yeah, I would. Why don't you know? Can I know? You know, strike me as a facial man. I a gentleman. I would like that daddy. Yeah, hard, honey. But this is what we talked about before about working and working and having a real life. Right. Now no one's work hard. The Norton. Norton works hard. Norton's a hard a hard worker man He always work a material always writing new shit But you really should get that other end of that life. I know and what you might want to do is it's just Get a couple buddies and go somewhere. We should I would love to we should fuck my buddy is a busy for Christmas All my friends are in relationships. I would love to go live here's a thing dude. We should go away

I texted you let's go see Brock on the music. Yeah, but we should go away. You work. Do something. I would love to go watch the UFC fight. Yeah, but that I mean I'd love to fucking do that I'm not saying I do that too. That's a night out. That's a night. I'm saying I'm Vegas. Dude. I understand that but Vegas isn't a way like you got to go away I'm going skiing in February. That's a way you're fucking I won't do that because I don't want to break my leg and then I'll be able to work I agree with them. I don't want to fucking I'm saying they don't have to be skiing or whatever our rubas closer than Vegas, okay? And I want to talk about spa we got massage is we got a couples massage which I do with you on the beach literally a hot on the beach with all the all should be ocean because it was as close as the window I was right now and it was how great was that massage ever were you

You only the your iPod and the fucking suck as I rolled over with a fucking heart on and I was embarrassed because my wife was right next to me Really and that Ruben flat back lady? Oh my my my shoulder monsters that they are She got she gave me a chubby. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter.

I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter.

I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. I have my daughter. You know, it was that time where it's like okay, roll over, but I was like, please just go away Just go away go away and then it didn't and it flipped and flopped and it just felt a fump flap and that you know Her she had big hands to my the lady I had was of like her hands were catchers mitts She was a big lady and that just a little weirder than you got

That made the whole story a little sauce for the Rubin gentlemen Yeah, that made the whole story a little sauce for the Rubin gentlemen He flipped me over with one hand He spoke like that choreographer who did the Coco Kasa commercials Stimmin up my bald guy forget it Coco Kasa Swinging to miss Good reference if anybody knew you were the fucking all through him on the East Village Swinging a mess Good reference if anybody know you're in a fucking all-throw him on the East Village

Oh I think you should we should go away man. I mean like we used to go away. That's the one thing I miss Didn't you do Brazil with Patrice and Robert? three times yeah, yeah, I miss something in March early April and when I'm done with that I would but he shouldn't just I'm doing an hour for a production. That's great You know we should go away man man We should get false and stupid. I don't know. Fuck Keith, but no, we should see it even pretend invite me here and then do the ship I was getting I was getting around to you Yeah, but we should literally put it out there for everybody and go go and do something

Listen for a while. I said what I'd love to do away from away from sets Just even do a Tuesday night, get to get in, have a dinner somewhere, sit in the city, and have a dinner, because that's the other thing that happened in our business. We see each other at a club. Ignored and stopped by an overdice crew is very impressive to me.

That's, I mean, like that too. No, I'll tell you why, because that tells me you're, I don't know how to explain this, but that other aspect of your life, you're going to stop seeing my friend. Yeah, I'm trying to find people to do stuff with like go out to dinner. I can go out to eat almost every night

and then literally there's no one to go to dinner with. Yeah, see I would go to dinner with you in a heartbeat because you know, to me, I enjoy that. I enjoy talking outside of the industry. When I go to a spot, you're doing a spot. I mean talking outside of the industry. But I go to a spot. You're doing a spot. I mean, here's the thing too, is like, you know, as soon as like this kitchen, the reason why I want my house back is

we used to have, like, even Thanksgiving. We had Thanksgiving at my house all the time. You'd come over, we'd hang out. I mean, Norton used to come over my place. There was nothing better than Norton would come over, eat, play with my dog, fall asleep, I'm a recliner. Oh yeah. Eat some more.

We live in the same building and then go get a hooker. It was like having a cool song. Oh, you mean a traditional holiday? Yeah. Your face and ray. Well, yeah. To me, in one of you as a girl, I mean, you girl, you guys would come over all the time.

Yeah, yeah. She and I are still friends, so I may eat with her this week. No. I'm off every night, I want to go out and do stuff right. I want to go out to dinner when do you go to Boston? tomorrow night Tomorrow night I will I will come you know I'm taking a dinner on the 27th of December. Okay, let me see if I'm available I'll see you right right away. We got you I love to do it. I'm doing I eye one night, and I think I am available

that night. Tuesday night? Tuesday night? No, it's a when dinner. I'm doing red eye. No, that's not. Red eye is the 28th. I'm doing red eye 27.

I'm doing red eye Tuesday. Oh, right. I'm sorry, 28th. I have Tracy Morgan doing the club on the 26th. No, 27th I can do it. We're talking about this thing. So, look at that. Yeah, I can do that. What's the pal? Don't do it. I'm putting it over for dinner. Don I can do it. We're talking about this thing. Look at that. Yeah, I can do that

What's how? I'm I don't fucking do it. It's great. It's great. I'll take great. Yeah, huh? Very nice I'm gonna take Norton a dinner on the 27th. All right. I'll call you I'm a good dinner companion I hope you cancel I know some very good places in Manhattan. I bet you do I like the session about fucking Norton though Is that he takes you out to eat? He'll be like, let's go get some food and he takes you to fancy places. I'm a last dinner I had in the city without a set being attached. Right. Or they were the comic right was with Patrice right.

Uh, after we did tough crowd. I think years ago that was. I remember sitting there saying, well, it's just nice. We're just hanging out having dinner. In fact, I think they all made it with us. Um, and you're just hanging out having dinner. In fact, I think Danielle made it with us. And you may have been at that dinner. We went to the Virgizio, the Brazilian joint. Oh, it's called a platiforma. Platiforma. That's where we went.

I think you were there. We went to the original one in Brazil. Yes. We went to the guy who owns the one here. We went to the one when we were in Brazil. But you know, it's so funny is, you know, I was on vacation this week. And, you know, it's so funny is, you know, I was on vacation this week and you know, I literally thought about him every fucking day.

And I was in the ocean by myself, just bawling, like a little baby thinking about me. No, not you. But a tree said I was just like, I just don't get it. Still, I still don't get it. It's still, I still can't, it doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, it does, it, it's one of those weird things, it's like I have, because I've talked, I think the Von just, if I can't, I don't.

It's one of those weird things where sometimes it just makes completely no sense and you think you can go back and undo it, but you can't. It's very, very surreal. It just doesn't, I sit there and I'm like, I don't get it. It's like, I don't, I sit there and I'm like, I don't get it. It's like, I don't, because here's the thing is, we would go for so long and not talk,

because we're comics. And then all of a sudden, you just talk to them every day, and see them all the time. Right. And it's like nothing ever happened. Yeah, there's that sense that, oh, he's going to be back any day, because he's just away. And I still have that. Like, it doesn't make sense to me that I'm not gonna be oh It doesn't fucking make sense at all I don't I don't get it. I don't understand it how it it's just it's not fucking computing to me

It's still fucking killing me like have you lost so many people in my life I'm actually I can I understand it. I don't like it I don't that it's disturbing and it's upsetting, but I get it because the bottom line, this is what I tell people, and I don't mean to get into something heavy thing, but the bottom line is, you're born, you live for a while, you die, that's the gig.

And I get very upset now, people that piss away my time with their unnecessary drama. Like I'm really at the point now where it was just drama and my life, okay, go do that somewhere else. Because I don't know when my last day is, no one does. And no one, and even, you know, I really just don't wanna be around that. Because I think I've come and understand that more and more.

And I think Jorral though, you know, you know, Barry J, right? Barry J, yeah. Barry J, my friend of the club, who's in the sand and whatnot. You know, my friend Barry never smoked it in his life. He's dead he's the best way, but he had tongue cancer. She said last Tuesday If it doesn't smoke how does he get that? Well, that's my whole point is he had his tongue is lion control removed and you know no one's hand no one's handled this kind of He said to that

Well, you know, listen, I'll tell you something right now Barry Jay is the most he's the strongest person I know because I took I picked him up from hospital yesterday Do you think he got it? Honestly you can get it like they see you get throat cancer from oral sex if you someone Well, it's seriously someone has like from the head from that or TV or yeah, really? Yeah Fucking it can be I don't know I'm answer. I don't think they can pin it down the white head It's tongue and larynx was that's a guy tongue and larynx. You guys we can't know, I'm answer, I don't think they can pin it down to white. He got his tongue in larynx. Was that the guy's tongue in larynx? He got his trident on me.

I'm sorry. He can't talk. He'll never talk, never saw food again. But here's the point, don't leave your life in this, you gotta live your life in a happy place because you know what, you just don't know what's coming down the box. Did he drink? You know, not, not a heavy drinker. I mean, he enjoyed scotch.

I didn't know he had tongue cancer Yeah, he had been experiencing slurred speech for six months. They today the million tests Nothing couldn't diagnose it and then finally they diagnosed it with tongue cancer and that was the treatment Wow, they would have gotten early when they would have been able just to take out a little piece You know what I ask you know what sucks about this this stage of life is that something's coming for all of us I ask, you know what sucks about this, this stage of life is that something's coming for all of us. Something's coming. Listen, well, I just don't know what the fuck it is. But that's a very good thing to keep in your head and live your life positive. Listen, again, I don't want to turn to Tony Robbins But yeah, you got to know that so enjoy your moment. If he's standing in for I see a common order And I see the comment on your stupid face. I fucking said I just I know you should have me. You're

you have to but you gotta know that your your tickets coming and whatever it is good. I don't disagree. Hey, do you know you were gonna say some pleasant. I hate them. I hate them. I don't know what that at all. It's a good philosophy. I, uh, uh, it's just fun. I mean him. I don't know what that is all. It's a good philosophy. I, that's just fun. I mean, that's why I go on vacation every year. I actually, I opted out of the last episode of this show that I'm on, the CBS show. I called them up.

I said, if you guys need me, this is months ago. If you need me for that week, great. But I'm like a week to week. So I don't know if they're gonna use, I didn't know if they're gonna use I didn't know if they're gonna They're gonna use me the week after they want to be using me every episode It's great just writing me in but I didn't know that but it's like okay Do I gamble and just just stick it out and then they don't use me and then I don't go on of it You know so I said look if you're gonna use me let me know and I'll cancel it

They never they were like ah we don't know so fucking do what you got to do And we went and it's like fuck that you know, I'm sitting there going fuck I you know I should I have stayed I could have the money would have been great It was the last episode fuck me, but there's nothing I could do at that point I gave them the opportunity they fucking blew it off so I had to go do it I'm gonna do you got to live in the moment and I wouldn't change a thing, I had a fucking blast of doing nothing for this enough for 10 days. This is where I want my head to be.

I went to bed at 9.31 night. And fuck, I was so tired. I went to bed at 9.30. I even went to bed at 9.30 since I was like eight. It was fucking amazing. And I woke up the next day, not like at five, going what the fuck do I do now. And there's no internet really.

I didn't have Twitter. I didn't have, I was kind of off the grid a little bit, which was, okay, wait a minute. You weren't off the grid. A little bit. There's electricity and hot water. I'm talking about, you're frying Facebook, Twitter, my fan, there we know room service.

Literally, you do in a far show business, you're off the grid when you're on sunset full of oxygen. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You enjoyed yourself and that's why I want to be in my head. Last week we took our dog, our little dog to the groomer. My wife got ill dressed, we're gonna go, we have to get a whole day to do. So we're gonna drop the dog in the groomer. She puts the dog in her lap, we drive 10 feet dog pissed all over her. I mean all over her. She laughed the rest off. She's like, oh my God.

And I'm like, I would have killed that dog, that dog wouldn't have made it. I would have just gone to the groomer and handed her the belt, but she just laughed, you know, and said, what do you get to do, Piss your own day? I see the comments. I, I, I mean, look, I was just loin' the thing. I think, that's why I think of Norton.

I was thinking of this week like, fuck, you should go away. Like, we should do shit together. shit together like like we used to do Let go away and not do comedy. That was the best part of going to Brazil We didn't do comedy. We just laughed and it didn't have to do with fucking sets or where you go on and what you're doing There was no show at that that night and it was like fuck it was all about I was fucking the fuck I'm happy to do that But everybody's married in relationships, so maybe I maybe I'm having a couple of young ladies come in the next week or so Who I don't know yeah? Maybe oh good you should come on we should do dinner. I mean that they ladies that I can bring my wife around sure

Oh God There is a video component it was beyond his face right on do you have a problem with ladies with Adam's apples? She made one sausage soup that you ate Yeah, no, I was great was Bailey Jay very nice You know the girl is what a fucking sweet one date you our girl who lives that works at the club who this is years You want to date you why would you tell me eight years later? Well, because he's a cock blocker. No, I think that that, that, that, I think that Norton,

Liz, what she looked like. She brought you in an actress, pretty girl. No, how old? Well, back then she was 24. Wow. How do you tell me all these years later? Because he's a cock blocker. You didn't want to get in the club, you know?

No, is that, is that, is that, is that, is a clock bug. Are you kidding? No, is that pretty? Yeah, I'm pretty wishy Eight why you backing on to this I don't give a shit. I don't know if I know her do I know her? This one today He's been a lot of time talking her. I'll tell you good friends for a friend you wait. No, no, I want to hear my list So she want wait wait tell with there one day and tell was hitting on my wife's friend Maryam and Maryam treated him like it's before it tell pop treated him like shit Then he gets a show in the area the big star is making a ton of money and Maryam actually come to the comes

You can you call that Dave guy for me? I think that train left the depot when you shit all over him when you just like Anyway, who's Liz? I'll find her out I'll face pick this I might have somebody for you Oh, I'm 30. All right. That's this high as I go really. Yes. Why why? 30s to top the maximum weight what's wrong with you? Why wouldn't you go 35? to top the maximum. Wait, what's wrong with you? Why wouldn't you go 35? The whole of the year, my wife is 33.

You're 43 and you won't date a girl over 30. No, I want to get acknowledged one over 30. You wouldn't hook up with my wife? My wife is 30 something. But Dawn's your wife, I don't look at her. I don't look at her like, you don't think my wife is pretty? There's nothing to do with that. You think she's pretty?

Yes, but it's not, I would never look at her inappropriately. Because you're, first of all, you're lying. No, no, no, I have evidence I'm in my house one day don comes out of the bathroom which is behind Norton I go don't put a shirt on he did he turned around so fast to look at my wife's tits It wasn't even funny. That's like saying that's like saying I yelled fire and you look Do you know what I want to fuck fire? I, you just look when someone says something like that. What's, Bonnie, put your shirt on.

Who wouldn't look? Everybody. I'm almost trying to look now that you're saying. I'm just double checking. Everybody would look. Girls put your tops back on. Everybody would look. He didn't look, because he knows.

He wouldn't look if I said that. I wouldn't look. I wouldn't have heard you. But if you heard you, you would look. Right. If you assigned it. I would look I wouldn't have heard you but if you heard you look If you signed it no one has to be the fastest clock soccer of the business if Norin norin two guys two guys will know me in the room because they're that good. Oh

Anthony Anthony Gordon. Yeah, they call me very fun. Anthony's yeah He's just so goddamn fat. Here's the thing about Anthony though Anthony has a heart like Anthony will go Oh, I have a big heart. No, Anthony's more brutal than all of us. He is but Anthony if he likes you He's nice. He has a heart. He's like, ah come on. I was a kid and he'll give you a little bit. You know what I mean? Northern Northern with that smile. I don't think you should anybody you don't like Not really. We're not in fun like it's obvious like I don't I'll attack my friends But right because I'm I'm it's too obvious when I really mean it. It's not fun to do when I really mean it Like you know, I mean I can't playfully attack somebody who I don't like because they know I'm not kidding right

I've seen you snap on a couple people. Yeah, it's not when it's real. Yeah I snap found one day buddy Bolton I tried to break his ribs my wife stopped me. Why why buddy? I buddy wanted to work the club You try to break the ribs he I tried to break his ribs Buddy wanted to work the club and I don't have any waiting positions available He wanted to work the club in the worst way possible and every time I walk in the comments I've he would bust my ball. Oh, there's been a brand those other works stress factor and he would just make a production And I said to him a number of times listen buddy when, when I'm in here, I'm just some comic

doing spots. Leave me alone. So he's making a big deal, making a big deal. So fine, I'm like, you know what, he can't hurt me in December. Because buddy's not a bad actor, just isn't what I would normally book. So I think I'm gonna put him in December. He's a funny enough guy. And I book him in December.

And I tell him, you got the second week of December and buddy For whatever reason because you have crazy, you know, I kitten the whole nine yards Just doesn't acknowledge it and I keep talking about you have a second week of December second week December So I'm taking my life to dinner. I got him to do a quick spot. We'll go to dinner And I said I'm already in a bad mood. How would you do that? What about your life? No, no, she went to a quick spot. I know after his big speech about live life for the fullest. No, she's like look We're on our way to the hospital. I said let me do 10 Borders for a podcast

You really Multi-tasking cocks I just hear me actually Tell you daughter that you were coming to pot you probably said hey, let's go out for night in the city I No, it's exactly what I thought So it's what happened then so I thought it was pretty funny though Yeah, she's going downstairs at my wife. She goes I'm gonna miss the funny. Oh wait. I already did Buddy I walk on the strip and I told my wife,

I don't want to deal with any comics asking for spots because of the strip that was that we bad. And buddy's there and he starts the gang with the whole, oh, this video brand, I had one every one, I had one and he's going, no, no, no, no, no, and I go open him, I go, buddy, I go. You had a second wicked December. And he's calling me kitten and I'm purring

and I'm like, I'd stop, I'm not in that mood. But you can break a man's ribs. What did he say when you said, you have the second week in December, did he come? He just kept ignoring me. He's like, no, I don't work this time. You're on the work this time, you're on the work this time. And a good way to break a man's ribs,

if you grab him from the side, you can put your thumb up on a rib and just pull in and you can snap a rib in. Yeah, my little brother did that to me last year. So I had just, anyway,, you fucking jail host psycho. Go ahead. No, but he's also got you can bring a ribbon buddy by looking at him hard.

So I grab him and I pick him up and I go, oh buddy, I love you. And I pull in hard and Vicki's there. It's just like, put him down. And Vicki pinches the back of my arm super hard. So I have to put buddy down. It's because you can't do that. You can't just break someone's rib. I'm not well

He's gonna leave me alone and then I told buddy you have this week And he goes mom. I don't work stress factor and then I just I put it out. I said okay, fuck it Wife is your wife is right though. You can't just break people's ribs. She's very calming influence on me Well, yeah, she's very nobody. It's it's actually pretty smart. She's very smart. You know well, I, it's very, nobody, it's actually pretty smart. She's very smart. You know, well, I mean, it's, if you, Vicki, stop me from two very bad things. She stopped me from possibly murdering a kid. Right. Years ago at the club, there was a young kid who worked for me.

And he sent them really inappropriate things to my old, I remember that. Yeah, I remember that. And that kid, we were gonna get her bad. That kid, we were gonna get that. That's the same. Well, she pulled me off in, he had the deep purple breweries right in the neck. I mean, I mean, I mean, he was down. Right. And I was like, I said, you

were done. His mother actually brought him back in. She would take a sled off the wall and hit him with it. Yeah, it said, brother. His mother, his mother brought me back in and brought him in and said, would you do to mark? All right. I'm gonna go to the cops. And I said, well, before you go to the cops, let me tell you what Mark did. Right. And she got mortified. Now, six months ago, I got to my dentist. Yeah. And the hygienist says, a Mark sister.

Yeah. Oh, no shit. I go, yeah. And I was like, a little uncomfortable and she goes, I will you know, you saved Mark's life. I go, what? And she goes, after that night that you did that, he's straightened up and he stopped being,

because he was being a pan in the ass. Tell a lot of people. And she says, you saved his life life I think you choked it out of them right I told I told Vinny this he liked stories with the beginning middle and a happy end ending he's a very lifetime channel conversation there's a moral there's a ray of sunshine morals at the end of the end of every one of his I almost killed somebody stories it's not about his rage issues yeah we're about the fact that he has a at the end of every one of his, I almost killed somebody's stories.

It's not about his rage issues. We're about the fact that he has a fucking hair trigger temper. It's the ray of sunshine at the end. You really are. You know, fucking glasses have. The real story is, I almost choked the kids that instead of firing him, but he turns it into, I saved his life. That's good. That's great.

Wow. That's very good. That's very good. That's like Richard Speck telling you, but you're like, no, I just prevented a bunch of bad nurses from getting jobs. Oh, shit. Anyways, man. Well, listen, we're promoting the stress factory.

Me. Are you on the show? Of course. All right, so it's me, you, and then some fucking... Leonard Marcus. Lenny Marcus. Lenny Marcus. Fucking love Lenny Marcus.

I know what you don't have, Lenny was, I haven't talked to SD in five years. Right. So Lenny, why did you stop going there? Reverse that, SD hasn't talked to you in five years. Go ahead. That's true, too. No, she just, she just put me on high eight as lift

because I went on vacation. And as I never called back in I'm like and I'm a grown man I go on vacation right yeah, and I guess the answer is very nice, huh? Where'd you go? I went skiing that time. Okay, and that was what my impression was who knows why you know It could have been the bad sets, but it is So what happened is uh Fucking chip Lenny Lenny was booked there, but in Matt had said well Robert's gonna want Lenny.

And I said, okay, I thought, Robert, I mean, I thought Matt booked Lenny. So I called Lenny on Monday to confirm, and he said, I'm at the seller. You gotta call Estee and ask him, it's okay, that's the end of the year. I'm talking to Estee in five years, which is very pleasant. You know, he wanted Lenny to call for him. Yeah, I called for him because it's the right way to do it because we asked he booked them and she didn't want to have a He let it in want to have him wait wait. This is for New Year's Eve. Yeah Lenny know the way to the summit with the way for to handle that is for Lenny

To call us to and I got another you do that, but Lenny I'll never ask a club on it a call another club for me. Well Lenny with Lenny's not He's probably a little scared of his position at the Salo Me right now where he's you know, he's maybe a little nervous Where it's like can you do that for me? Do me a solid? Yeah, because you know this thing he doesn't want SD to be in bad standing and not get spots because Rasty's using them and you know explaining you know and then things you know sometimes when you do Theran Jim, you know, and then yeah see here's a difference. You can cancel.

You can cancel a spot. People are going to say, OK, Jim can't film. I'm going to put him back on the show. Lenny doesn't have every other week appearance on Leno. And they're daily radio programs. And it was very nice about it. And I actually enjoyed talking about it. So here's a deal.

It's me, Lenny Marcus, Thursday, one show at the stress factory and doing the front end. That's going to be fun. Thursday is going to be fun Thursday gonna be the fun Thursday's gonna be fun I gave out some tickets last night that's great so I'm gonna get those and I'm we're gonna we should give out a couple tickets now you want to get we should yeah I mean he's saying now without because it's gonna be when they broadcast but yeah it's actually it's it's Monday it's coming out Monday so we'll give out a couple tickets by Tuesday how are you gonna give

out the tickets they're gonna email I get you email Vinnie at stressfactory.com via an IE all right the first the first how many people For third and everyone listening So five I can't give way to tickets the first Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, email vinni at stressfactory.com or you can call 732-545 and how many people will come up to me and do that. Just walk up to the club and go, I'm alright, okay, I'm a fan of the show too. Anyway, if they call the club and say I heard the rubber Kelly podcast. Perfect.

And if I may be the whore that I am, because I don't tweet right but I do have a Twitter account I know you do I actually it's Vinnie underscore a bram. Yeah, I've been working on my tweets Cuz I don't find my life that fascinating. Yeah, but yet I enjoy tweeting tweet jokes That's some people some people actually he's good at tweeting. He's very good. Murphy's really funny at tweeting And I'm a good he's funny. This is I'm not I you know what I get I sometimes I've spit it out Bob I've typed one funny thing oh funny things on Twitter yeah followers are following you I I I promote shit I once in a while I'll get a good one I did one good one it was a black woman shouldn't wear white the order because it looks like the armpit just ate ice cream

That's just racist. It's pretty you should stick to promoting shit. That's pretty funny. Go fuck this up. I don't get what you guys just hate It's hate comedy of hate. I don't go for So your Twitter is a Vinnie underscore brand, right? Okay cool And then we'll give away first 10 people the email Vinnie We'll get some tickets. It's gonna be great. And then New Year's Eve New Year's Eve two shows eight and ten thirty that is you're gonna have more fun on New Year's Eve in my club than you can imagine Well, here's a deal. We got two shows the first show is forty dollars a ticket you get Dinner show dinner a show and second show is 98 dollars and you dinner show open bar

And dancing afterward that's gonna be fucking nuts I thought it's well worth the money. It's well worth the money because you'll spend way more money at a fucking bar I think the term you're looking for was you get a lot of bang for your buck It's exactly what it is leave it didn't work in the region. You know what I get you know who didn't years Eve one night And he never did near see he hated near see who Patrice right and he wouldn't do it right and I caught Matt and Matt like Vinnie's not gonna do it. I caught Patrice and Patrice I'm telling you you're gonna have fun. Right and then he didn't he received yet. I'm blessed. Right. I'm looking forward to it. I actually only do the seller. I've done the seller which I have fun because I know everybody. It's a good time and I did the Boston Garden with Dane one year

which was like 18,000 people. That's crazy. It was ridiculous. How come you don't go out and just go do a big show? I always do. But this year's the first year I'm not in years. Because it would have been many apples. Like I said, I'm scared of weather.

Like I think you can have a snow storm and miss a flight. And there'd be no, you miss your gig. So, and then you do a club or do you do a big theater? Small theater club, a couple of years ago I did, why don't you do a club or do you a big theater or small theater club? A couple years ago I did, um, once you get a bus like Madden and just travel the country. Well, you know, you know, we'll stop that too. Yeah. I was kidding. I will do. I got my, I got my serious moment of a million, I'll stop that too. It's no good. What's your next? If the club down I 70, Robert, the

terrible road, you'd have to have a plow in the front of that bus. Get in Norton. Look at the dog's finally calm. No, we'll see you not looking at the girls. All right, so don't as had it with our presents. So check it out. So make sure you go to stressfactory.com. Dot com.

Don't just watching this podcast the way I watch the help last night. How was the help? It was a really inspirational story of the courage of a white journalist. It was OK. What was it? About black maids.

And wait a second. Did the white girl learn anything? Well, she was good. She was good. Yeah, I wanted to. That book is supposed to be her maid. It's OK. I hate that.

Did you read the book? Red-headed list of bigs. Have you read Wee the Animals? Oh, it was good. Have you read Wee the Animals? No. I'm a tight-stem. Both French as in yes the animals or is it? No, W.E. the animals books 110 pages long the greatest I'm times a right now you guy read it Really like I but you're gonna read it and go holy shit. I just got punched in the stomach But you're gonna laugh a little and it's great

Little long. No we the animals how many pages 110 pages very short novel a short It's almost a novella. It's almost a novella. Yeah, I know But it's really good. Let's fucking end this thing. It's it's thanks to coming on dude I really sure any brand. I'm sorry. Um make sure you check it as comedy and make sure you check out as fucking his comedy club I'm gonna decafalf coffee? Yes we do. Let's have some D-Calf. Alright, relax. Let me end the fucking show.

You fucking party, pooper. Party, pooper. Jim, this is your idea of a party? Two guys in an unfinished kitchen. Talking to 30 people. Jim fucking Norton. Add Jim Norton on Twitter. And that's it for you know what, dude.

Mary fucking bring a lower chandelier in here too. Which one? That one? That's for the table. That's for the table goes you jackass. That's it for you know what dude Mary fuck you hang a lower chandelier here too which one that one that's for the table Okay, that was the table goes you jackass. That's don's I didn't send in like it was just too low. It's not too low. There's a table That's it fucking goodbye goodbye Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do reviewing and telling a friend about the you know what the podcast over the last year it's been fucking nuts crazy year I want to thank you for listening and donating and all the shit you do we really appreciate it me Joe de Rosa dan soda fucking monster voice no shoulders Joe and all the other people that have been on the podcast over the years been one fucking crazy year.

I want to thank all the other shows at riotcast.com, glory hole, radio, rich boss and Bonnie, the comedy seller, the Jersey jerks, the fucking nerds, the two chicks, hammer fisting, you guys make sure you listen to those guys and it's been fucking wild. Riotcast.com, Merry Christmas to all my fellow cock suckers over there. You guys have been great and this year 2012 is going to be even bigger so Merry Christmas God bless you and that's it Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink You don't get it Really dude, really, really, really You don't get it I'm just gonna stick You you Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, movimientos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras te esperan.

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