Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The #1 SheMale in the Galaxy: Bailey Jay (Part 1)

Episode Date: November 7, 2011

The #1 SheMale in the Galaxy: Bailey Jay (Part 1) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Bailey J. You're listening to the You Know What Dude podcast on gloryholeradio.com. Suck my fat shi-cock. You know what, J. Hey, what's up? You know what, dude, it's, is that what we call you? I don't even know if we have a name for you. I don't think this podcast is cool enough to have that. Anyway, this is one of my favorite podcasts.

Bailey J. A.. AVN's 2011 She-Mail of the Year is on the show. And it was so fucking good, we made it a two-pater. So today you'll be listening to Part 1 of the Bayley J podcast. Part 2 will be Thursday. Thursday morning, Part 2 will be up. It's me, Jota Rosa, Bayley Jaina, husband, part two, Jim Norton steps in

to have a little fucking discussion with us. So make sure you check out today and Thursday for the You Know What Dude podcast. All right, what's up? This is Robert Kelly, and you're listening to, You Know What Dude? Podcast with fucking me. It's a special Halloween,

how fucking episode. We got Joe Derosa, Joey D. Hey, man. No shoulders, Joe. What? AKA. Already. All right, nice talking to you.

Right out of the gate. We got, it's a fucking, it's a special Halloween edition. I got my wife standing over my shoulder, but why don't you sit down somewhere? Sit a fucking lurking over my shoulder. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

We got, what's get I abuse my wife on the show just let you know just don't take it personal. And today's a very special episode because we have oh my god. Oh my god. I've bitched about her before. We've talked about her that she's been beating me in the ratings on iTunes and we have her here tonight. I never said one bad thing. Yeah, you said a lot of great things. Very nice things. Bailey fucking Jay is in the house with Matt. Hello. Hi. Matt, Matt, what's your last name? Terhune. What is it? All right, just her Hugh Matt, but just going to call him Matt because that's too fucking crazy to say Ter Turhun, it is part of it.

Bailey J, the 2011 AVN Transsexual. That's right, Motherfuckers. There's one of the sexiest dudes on the planet. I really am a sexy dude. I put that out there. Here's a deal. First of all, we have to, Joe's here.

Joe has been, we did a podcast last week. I don't know if you guys listen to it, but Joe was literally smitten. I would say fucking smitten. That's a good word, okay. When he saw your website and then the week before and then apparently did some more investigating for the show. Yeah, you know, I felt the need to look at a few clips.

What about a few clips? That's good, you're invested in your craft. Yeah, no, okay. I watched one of them a few times. Some people would call it research. You'd be paid for that. I did not pay for that. Files sharing piece of shit.

Good old fine, too. Well, I looked up on scoreviod.com, which I am a member of, and I do own. Oh, it's good to pay got money. That's good. I do own time on. Well, I got fucked. You'll have five bucks. All your videos on their their premiums and you have to pay extra to watch them

Which really bug me I'm a hot commodity Yeah, so I took it to the to the tube sites. I apologize. I Just to test it out. I'm sure I'll pay. Oh, right You're gonna go as long as someone's getting paid while I get fucking the ass right? You know, you don't go in the dealership and just buy the car you have to ride it around you have to jizz on the fucking seats It'll couple times this before you fucking take it on now Well, I'll take it right down into dirty talk. Well, here's here's the deal Uh, and this is a fucking weird my wife is here. I can't even say what I want to say go over here. No

Leave Hey,, beat it. How did you go trick a fucking treat somewhere else? Listen, listen, this is the thing is that Joe had, I mean we talked last week, Joe was smitten and I have to say something Joe, I kinda, I mean now that she's here, right here. I was a little thrown off because when I walked, I walked in, pointing it at Matt.

No, no, no, no, no, I'm pointing at the door. Oh, okay. Sorry, Matt, did it look like I was, I mean, he's like a good man, I don't know. Now I was a little thrown off because I walked in, I didn't expect you guys to be here yet. I thought I was gonna beat you to it. And then it did kind of feel like,

it was that same, I mean, I know this isn't the situation obviously, but it did have that feeling of like a blind date kind of thing when your friend is like, hey, this chick, dude, she's hot, right? And you know, yeah, yeah. Well, I told her you think she's hot, you guys should meet, it felt like walking into that situation because I didn't know if you had heard all the lovely, lovely things that I said.

Not in detail, I had not, but I'd been, what's the word I'm looking for? I've been told previously that you fancied me, I guess, because then it's a polite way of putting it. What's not to fancied here? Well, here's the thing. Did he say anything that asked him out? Because that's what really gets me.

Was he saying he wants to go ask him out for me? Because that's what gets me every time. I mean, actually, I didn't say that. I actually kind of said really nice things. I don't know, and then I remember. No, he's in love. But here's the thing, Joe, I have to break some fucking news to you, and I didn't tell you this and I taken she's taken she's married

I'm very Wait to her husband you guys are married married as fuck Yeah, they let us get married now. It's a new thing I do Give him the hand job Holy shit Joe is fucking literally I feel bad. I'm legitimately Let's get divorced. I feel bad about this

I was like why are they coming together? Who the fuck is this guy? I'm legitimately I feel bad about this I was like why are they coming together? Who the fuck is this guy? Fucking hilarious So you guys got married? Yes, last Saturday Mary to fuck Joe is fucking heartbroken

You understand dude, I'm sorry I didn't want to tell you but I couldn't tell you You kept it from me, oh you fucked it I had to because you were in the show up and I didn't want to break your heart I didn't tell you kept it from me. Oh, you're fine. I had to because you wouldn't have showed up and I didn't want to break your heart. I didn't want to break your heart. I didn't. Without the mic saw it.

And here's the thing, dude, when you walked in and you actually saw her, oh my God, even like, what the fuck? I walked in and I had a little thump in my pants. And my wife was right next to me. I actually turned this way when she walked in so my wife didn't see my fucking, my hog have a heartbeat for a second

And I was like oh shit Joe was gonna be fucking bomb it. Yeah, little bummed man My bummed Kim Kardashian got divorced today. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, no she No, she filed for divorce today already. Yeah, today. How good? She's awesome and she thinks things out, so that's good. It was a publicity stunt. I can't. I can't fucking stand that to water. That was a...

I'm sick to death, but... The what the fuck? That was their wedding was supposed to be as expensive as the... What's his face? The royal assholes. Yeah. There's a lot of money, I don't know how much. They should match that money and like give it to children in Africa now, because they're

shitheads. Buy Africa. why Africa? What about children here? That's true. We pass them shitty fucking places on the way here. Yeah, let's go to the fucking, let's go to the south. I don't know if you've been there lately. Let's go to West Virginia and get some of those

fucking popsicle dirty mouth kids. Those toe heads out there and fucking give them some cash. Let's stop helping these fucking cocksackers that have fucking zebras and fucking food at their disposal. They get you kill it right there on the bush. Toehead. Toehead.

You need a fucking zebra. What's a toehead? What's a toehead? I like that. Toehead, I like that. It's just all blonde, just real blonde. Oh, with the pugnos. Yeah, a little toehead.

They can't even form features because of all the inbreeding. No, no, no, that's a, that's a, no, you mean the ones with the deep eye sockets? I was thinking of the middle America, yeah, where, that's a name, that's a... No, you mean the ones with the deep eye sockets? I was thinking of the middle America, yeah, where their face can't even, it's like trying to form a skull through all the imbreening, it can't even form a feature yet.

Yeah, right. They always have like a hair lip and they look like they have false teeth and fucking ate. You can see five year people. It looked like they're conceived by beer. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, this is the deal though. I mean, back to the fucking fucking Kardashian,

fucked that Joe was fucking had a whole night plan. Joe had a Halloween adventure plan with Bailey J. The gorgeous Bailey J, do you understand? Where this is all, now it's over, it's over unless you get mad fucking shit faced. Totally fucked up that he passes out and she fucking gets really drunk And you can just be like it's Matt. It's fucking Matt Oh, yeah, I'll be so drunk my dick won't work. So we just like being with a real girl. It'll be awesome

Everything will be off often It's uh, that can't that's not a turn on if you dick don't work First of all one thing we were talking about that was hilarious is that last week we were on the podcast and we were talking the reason why you're so pretty and you're so sexy and that it's almost biobylist that you don't have like a fucking hog. It's not like a lot of she-mails, just the fucking mom's. Oh, like a big dose. See, my penis looks big on me because I'm little, but like it's a normal sized penis. It just, it sometimes in photos it won't.

Let's say, it looks like a car to me, right? Mine's normal, okay. Mine's not normal. It's not normal. Mine's like a carryaway, right? Mine's normal. Okay. Mine is not normal. Well, mine's not normal because it's not me, I guess, but it's it's real. I don't know. I don't know. People that think yours is normal. I would people think it's mine is normal. Mine is a little smaller than yours. But there are some trainees out there with these like huge and these these bitches are big. They're tall. Well, it's just really. It's a hog. They could we call it a hog. Can I say? Yeah, no, well, tall. So it's really... They could... They were calling it a hog. It's a nice size. Yeah, it was...

It was like... Yeah, some... You look at a trainee sometimes, it's just this fucking Brazilian uncircumcised. Like, big snail, like... It has a huge vein in it, like a fucking neck vein in its cock, and then it goes to the left and just the top of it can't even pop out of the fucking... It's outtits, it's rough. It's a rough world.

Well, that's the only reason I'm making money. If I had to post the I wouldn't make any fucking money right now, it's comparison that really helps me out. Well, if I may say so. If she had a pussy, she wouldn't be making a wish. You would, don't sell yourself for it. Maybe. No, you're a kid.

You know what, you have that little Japanese fucking. You have that crazy Japanese shit. I thought you were gonna say JAP, but like the Jewish American princess thing. Because that's what I used to get was all the Jewish guys. They all think I'm Jewish. They're like, oh, you're like a slitty little Jewish girl. And I'm like, no.

What are you? I'm half Italian, half Castilian Spanish. Really? Yeah. Wow. And where did you grow up? Let's get into some detail rich man. Oh shit You one of those fuck and I survived really rich man. I used to do the funny bone out in Richmond Oh my god. I know what that is. Yeah, yeah, she's not from like the hillbilly part. Yeah, she's from the

I'm from the white part. Yeah, right so and you grew up in Richmond your Italian and fucking Yugoslavian What is it again? It's still like Spanish, but not Mexican. All right, yeah, you're the conquistadors. You're the ones with the fucking hats and the, you're the ones, you're the ones, you're the ones at the end of a apocalypse so coming on the fucking boat. Right, yeah.

Very similar. You're the ones who raped and pillaged fucking central America. The apocalypse, it was a fucked movie. I don't know, you never saw a apocalypse though. Nah, it's something I don't know. I got enough with passion in the Crystani. I thought it was just gonna be that.

The best SNM film ever. And the young- A pock-a-lip-doh was one of the best movies. They didn't speak a fucking lick of English. I don't like reading the subtitles. Oh, subtitles are amazing. All I do is watch anime. So I'm like, subtitle freak.

That's what you are. You're all that. You remind me of the porn cartoons, which I fancy. Hentai. Hentai. Which Japanese for pervert, actually, little known fact. Oh, I didn't need to know that. No, I'm just sharing.

I'm just sharing. Because he, my wife, is right here. This is so fucking, well, don't you leave! Leave for the love of God! No, I'm kidding. You think that it makes me want to stay. No, it's fucking stay. Honey, what you hear tonight? You're going to give me a pass. I'm going to therapy think that it makes me want to stay. No, fuck it's day. Honey, what you hear tonight, you're going to give me a pass.

I'm going to therapy tomorrow, so go fuck yourself. I'll give you a little love later. I'll prove to you that I'm fucking. You guys don't watch Hentai together. Hentai is amazing. There's tentacle monsters. Have you ever seen tentacle, tentacle, and tie? I like Hentai.

It's weird. There's something about that fucking Japanese porn cartoon porn that's... I just got into it. It's weird. It's something about that fucking Japanese porn cartoon porn that's I just got into it It's pretty hot. Yeah, I've been into it for a long time. I love it. I do too Some of it is a little fucking weird. I don't feel bad about the girls afterwards It's what I like about it because they're not real. Oh, you know, their dad isn't some are crying or dead I can't not but I always think the cartoons or you know, turn me on because it's weird and you know It's a cartoon supposed to be dirty and then I can't not be. I always think the cartoons will, you know, turn me on because it's weird and, you know, it's a cartoon where it's supposed to be dirty and then I can't get into it. Well, really? I love it. I can't get enough of it. That's what you remind me of. That's what you would be. Like, that's what you're kind of like that Japanese. That's all I got

discovered actually originally. What do you mean? Well, before anybody knew who I was, I went to anime conventions, you know, like Comic Con, but I would cosplay just as was anime characters. And people kind of knew me in the circuit. And then I, someone was like, hey, wanna do porn? I'm like, okay, and then I did. You're still on the famous line trap. Yeah, I was line trap on 4chan. I was a big guile on the internet.

What is that? Yeah, what is line trap? So that was one of your like old aliases. They called me line trap. Basically, a trap is, you can remember Star Wars, Admiral Ackbar says it's a trap, and it's like a thing. When you're that became like a meme on the internet.

And I'm a trap because I basically trap straight guys because I look like a hot chick, but I have a dick. So they call it the general term for transsexual in the internet meme world is a trap. And I was waiting in line and some guy was putting a camera in my face. And they were being mean to this really obvious training. And I was like, well, I'm a trainee too.

And then no one believed me that I was full of shit. So I didn't have boobs at the time. So I just showed my flat chest and they all went ape shit. And I became famous. So they thought she was like a 16 year old girl showing. Oh yeah, they got really, because I had no tits. They got really excited because I was in a school. You know, for me, I had no boobs.

So Jesus. Lots changed. I just said, what's the line? What's the line? Jim Norton just texted me real quick. So I'm gonna text. I'm gonna take a picture of everybody. Get lean in, Joe.

Lean in. Lean in. Smile, everybody. Okay, great. I'm gonna send that to him. He just sent, fuck, I just read this because I sent him the text we want to reply. You guys love him?

Jim Norton, Mike, come over. Of course. I love him, so I'm really excited. You love Jim Norton. Yeah, yeah, super funny. He's gonna love you, Matt. Matt, you want a knife? Matt's gonna have to fucking fucking stab him. He's gonna come in like a little

Astamouth Everybody he'll blow me to get to you. I'll just show my pictures of me as a little boy. You see this I saw this will fuck think, can I? This will fuck me up, okay? Okay, so I got in touch with you, and then I saw this thing on, I think it was Gizmo do with one of those fucking types of gocker or something.

Right. And it showed, it said, it had this hot, smoking girl, but it was a, it was a tranny. No, it was when you, it was some other girl. But it's, it showed, this is what fucking, it shows the pictures of the missing kids. It showed them from their whole life. So it showed them as a little boy

in a fucking baseball shirt with the short sleeves playing. That was me, I was on a T-fall team. Right, yeah. And then it just shows them as a fucking teenage and then he gets, and he's hanging with dudes. And then he has facial hair and he's like, what's up, bro? See, that never happened for me. I never had hair.

I never got hair. I never got anything. I talked to doctors and they think I'm more towards the lines of being intersects as opposed to transgendered, which means, because those pictures of me is a little boy and people go, oh, here's a picture of Bailey when she was a 10 year old boy. They don't realize I'm 17 in that picture. That's really.

Yeah, I'm like, no, that's me. And your voice, though, your voice. Yeah, that's a picture. And I smoke. I smoke like crazy. That's the clincher. Can I, if I could just chime in? Depend, joe. The clincher is your voice though your voice. And I smoke I smoke like crazy. That's the clincher. I got can I if I could just chime in. Deppin Joe. You're the clincher is your voice

because a lot of trans eat trannies take the transes transes transes. It's a column. I don't know what the fucking bill picks the right term is trap trap trap trap. Tranny whatever a lot of line traps. Right. Abominations of nature.

So much to get the voices give away The voice to give it because they take the pills or whatever the fuck you do right? Right and they just sound like they get a munchkin voice Well, they man. They sound like they're talking like this on the floor. Yeah Any voice is so good at it. Well, it's the it's like the hormones actually don't change your voice at all The hormones do not affect the voice if if you're a woman and you say to become a man The testosterone to make your voice deeper, but the other way, it doesn't. It doesn't make you, I just,

I sounded like this times a thousand as a boy. And I prayed for a man voice for so long because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. And then, um. You silly, silly, silly girl. I know. Well, because I didn't know I wanted to be a hot chick yet. I was like, why can't I be like a other boy?

So you, when did you know? So you're a fucking regular dude growing up. You're a regular boy. No. So when did you, so you're a fucking regular dude growing up, you're a regular boy? No. So when did you, where you playing with dresses? Where did you blow your little friends? What basically went down was everyone around me thought I was a girl and I didn't know why.

And I'm like, this is so fucking annoying. I'm like, I just wanna be a boy. I'm six years old. That little boy is being a boy. I wanna be a boy. It's everyone gonna leave me the fuck alone and I wanna have to keep correcting them. Right. It never happened. As a kid, I want to be a boy. It's everyone to leave me the fuck alone and I want to have to keep correcting them. Right.

It never happened. As a kid, I just look like a fat Chinese girl. And I... Me too. Everyone. Everyone just thought I was a girl. And so finally, I just stopped correcting people. And that was my transition.

I just stopped telling people I was a boy. We have a Wendy. That's a camp. 15 or 16 or something. When did you... You got to look at this guy's when I was 15. I didn't want to suck a camp, I mean, 15 or 16 or something. When did you, you gotta look at this guys, when I was 15, I didn't want to suck a cock. Again.

I mean, I want to. For a steak. I didn't want to blow a dude in a closet anymore. I wanted to suck too much dick as a kid. I have to be honest. Okay, so. So when you were a little boy, when you were a little boy, when you learned about sex, you wanted you, just you a gay.

I mean, I was weird. I liked girls as a kid growing up. I wanted to see tits like everyone else wanted to see tits. I liked tits. But. But, I noticed the difference was when I saw a hot girl in a movie. I wanted a fucker, but then I also wanted to be her. And then I was like, why don't I want to be her?

That's kind of weird. Right. Jesus, you just made me realize that I have my transsexual. That's how I feel. Sometimes. My transition begins now. I'll hook you up with hormones. I'm a big show.

It's the big show. Let's look at Julia Robert has that effect on people, okay? It's not. I want to be Julia Roberts. You know, I um, let me talk about this. Yeah. But when did you, when did you suck a dick? I was about 16 or 17.

What's late? And I had a friend. I mean, I wanted to say like 12. No, I knew I wanted to. That was later than Matt. Yeah, I was like 14. I you be husband.

You be your husband. So take me for you just to let you know he wins. Go ahead. I it was it was weird. I knew I wanted to but then I had a friend who was like you're so pretty And I'm like we're boys we're boys together Yeah, I'm like what do you mean I'm pretty and he's like you're pretty you're like a girl And I was like that's kind of weird. Yeah, so I transition and then him and I remain friends and he's like You're like my little brother that became my hot little sister. Right. Suck my dick, so I did.

Really? Yeah. Wait a minute, this motherfucker, this lucky cock sucker. Yeah. This my, wait a minute, sorry. Cock sucker. Maybe I meant just cock sucker. I didn't like that.

I was a cock sucker in that situation. But here's the deal. This guy was like, look, you're in my, you're in my pal, but now you're a hot little girl. Yeah. You're sucking my cock. He said he wanted to bang me the whole time. It was just weird, you know? Oh, he's like, you're just, you're so fucking cute. You're face is so cute. And I'm like, right. sucking my cock. He said he wanted to bang me the whole time. It was just weird, you know? He's like, you're just, you're so fucking cute.

Your face is so cute. And I'm like, right, okay. And then I knew I wanted to blow him, but I wasn't sure, and I thought it'd be weird, but I did. You wanted to. And I never saw him again, but I mean, things went very well for me after that.

I guess. So you blew your best friend and then he just stopped talking to you? He was like trashy, so it was kind of like, I got like more interesting people liked me, so I'd stop hanging out with him regardless, but yeah. No, no, here's a deal, Bailey. No, I'm not even gonna ask you a real name, all right,

because- Well, I mean Bailey's my real name, but as when I was growing up, my name was Brian, but I never, but the funny thing is, it's not like I went from people being like, hey, Joe, to like being a chick. I went by B.J. Like, I'm gonna do. I, I went by B.J.

A joke in itself. I went by B.J. Because I was named after my father. Right. And I was, I was Brian Jr. or, you know, so I became so fucking beautiful. So I became B.J. And so my whole life I went from being B.J.

to being Bailey J. So it wasn't like a big like, oh, I used to be called Mike, but don't call me that, you know. So Bailey J is B. It's went from being B.J. to being Bailey J. So it wasn't like a big like oh I used to be called Mike, but don't call me that you know Bailey J is A derivative of BJ of blowjob Of a job. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've Bay I later earned the nickname B.J. I put my life so that's pretty interesting and and and how old you know 23 you 23 Your 22 technically right? I'm 22. I'm 22 I'm about to be 23 and like a week. Oh, you met 37 37 crazy

Good for you You fucking drink blood dude with my I don't know I want to get like a lotion face lotion contract Giz magical yeah I'm good for the skin Dude now here here. Let's, let's get to fucking you because I'm sitting here thinking about, this is gonna be so interesting that you're here. Okay great, but dude, it's fucking crazy interesting too.

Like, dude, you're married to a hot, you know, one of the hottest females on the planet. B. Okay, the, I would, I would, I would put hands there. Who's the other girl that you did a video with? Not that I'm watching honey. I didn't see any. I mean, I've done videos lots of girls. who's the other girl that you did a video with? Not that I'm watching, honey. I didn't see any. I mean, I've done videos with lots of girls.

What's the same vanity? Vanity. Oh, she was a really, I'm sorry, she is a really big deal. I don't want to piss me by y'all. She's still a really big deal. Well, Vanity, Vanity was, I mean, she made it. She was the name. Oh, well.

Tyson made it out with her. You ever saw that video? No, I mean, I've run Jeremy, it's I went. Well, he was at the AVNs, right? That's what it's called, right? Yeah. He was at there walking through the crowd as Tyson. Walked by her, saw her. I was like, yo, baby, it's I win. Well, he was at the avians, right? That's what it's called. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Walking through the crowd as Tyson walked by her saw her. I was like, yo, baby, what's up? And just grabbed her, started making out with her. She's gorgeous. But he didn't know it was a dude. Oh, see, I always tell people that I don't want to. He was in a lifetime movie. He was in the crowd.

Just walking by like, yo, I'm fucking Tyson. And he stopped like, yo, look at you. And she was like, she was just like, hey, and he was like, get get over here and she they kissed and and everybody else was like oh dude you don't fuck it I say that's hilarious he didn't know I mean I'm gonna fucking dude yeah and the thing is like with a lot of these other trainees they'll go and Howard and be like I haven't had any work done I'm not on hormones I haven't done anything and they're it's horses they're saying it through a fucking nasally nose job like it's it's horseshit the other girls have their forehead shaved down Their Adam's apple scraped when that's why they don't like me because I haven't had any work done I might this is the beautiful thing about your work Bailey is you I said this to you. I think earlier today Yeah, and it's the speaks to the point you brought up earlier about the way her cock looks

I do I do have a great cock. A lot of time with a trap, you're like, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, and then something happens when they get naked when you go, they just do it out way too much. You see the slug day for you to see, yeah, something like their thighs, something, you know what I mean? Or the shoulders, they're pulling their head. start calling it a bad train he's duty. Yeah, there you go We get it like cigars. Yeah, but you don't fart at all so you And I actually have a joke about this in my act where I say To me there's no

There's we have to all right we get it. There's a huge just say what you say You have to I don't like to work material in like I'm paneling on Leno I'm actually like I'm just fucking saying it. Oh, yeah It's uh It to me there's a difference between a guy that has tits put on him and a girl that happens to have a dick Yeah, it's two different things really that's a really smart way to put it I'm a chick with a dick right right right okay, okay, but here's the thing Here's the thing that fucks people up, is that you have a cock, okay?

Right. Okay, so you have a penis, okay? Uh-huh. And yeah, you get great tits, okay? You look like a girl, you sound like a girl, but you have a dick. So guys say a regular guy is gonna be with you, he meets you, doesn't know,

and then all of a sudden finds out you get a huge mule, that's gonna fucking stop him from- See, that's the thing. There's this idea that I surprise people with it, but the way it goes down is I'm like, hi, I'm Bailey, I have a dick, how are you? And they never give a fuck. Even the Pope, you'd-

Look at me, they don't give a fuck. If it was the Pope, would you change that up a little bit? I, I, oh my God. Huh, Pope, you are Italian, come on. That's true, I mean the Pope guessed you, so we shouldn't cast stones, they say. She's not. I mean the pub guest you so we shouldn't cast stones. He's not this one. Yeah, he did. He didn't. No, he was just a Hitler youth eating actually killing. I don't want to be Susan Serena. He got out of there and he did what he

was supposed to do. So, but he was the thing is met now. Now when you grew up, where did you grow up, by the way? Basside Queens. Basside Queens, okay. And what, what did you, were you, were you gay? No, completely straight. You played a girlfriend when I met him. Completely straight. I had a wife when I met you too. Back it bags, I got to shit. You like this place, you want to get a new place. You'll never have to put the toilet seat down again.

Not one fucking. No, I'll get my friend Jim over here. I'll just have him be the toilet. I have to. Oh, Jesus. Oh God. If some please somebody, if you're listening, tweet Jim Norton, get him over here.

Please tell you. I want to meet him. He's gonna come back. He's gonna come crash. He's gonna do this brick wall. He's nervous. I can't come over. I have to pretend I don't want to hit on her.

Damn it. So he's trying. I want to meet him so bad. I mean, meet as a verb, M-E-A-T. I want to meet him. Do you want? Here, I'm gonna call him. You say hi to him, okay?

Hey, that's him. Just say hi to him. Right now, We're calling Jim So hopefully he picks up But you met her when did you meet her three years ago three years ago? Where did you meet her in Virginia? In bridge, what the fuck where in Virginia Richard? I'll write us up no enrichment I think we're just north Fedrick'sburg and Fredrick'sberg is ringing Is it the answer is it going straight to voicemail? Is that right?

I mean, it's ringing. Where did you guys meet, though? Like in a hotel? Like doing what, though? I'm a photographer, so I went down there to take photos of a model, because that's what I was doing. I was shooting for like Burning Angel

and those kind of sights. Okay. And the other girl didn't show up, and I found out that she was this hot model, and I found out before actually I went that she had a dick, and I thought it'd be really awesome to get pictures, because everything I'd been shooting was just naked girls.

Sure. So I went to meet her for that reason. Wait, he shot for for like burning angel and suicide girls and stuff like that. And so he was just trying to make the trip worth his while by like you know you're you're cute, you live in Virginia. I'll shoot you while I'm in town. I'm like, oh well I assume you know who I am. Right. And he had no idea who I was. No. No. So yeah. And then I. And you say, hey, I'm Bailey, I have a deck. Yes, I did. And then you're like, I was in that, says it right away.

Oh, yeah, I always, I don't want to end up like a lifetime movie. A drug-minded trocker. Some shit. I'm from Virginia. I'll get killed in a minute. So I was very upfront about it. It's hilarious because you look more like a girl

than Hillary Swank when she is just a regular. Right. She's just like some 10 year old boy with others hanging off her. Like what the fuck is going on there? For Hillary Swank. All right. Anyway, we're the same piece. Of hanging off her like what the fuck is going on there? Oh, poor Hillary Swig. Alright, anyway. We have the same teeth. Yeah, of course he's like that. No, you don't. You know. All right, so you guys meet your shootin' her. Do you start dating immediately?

No, no, no, no. Well, my girlfriend was my four years of... Yeah, girl friend must be pissed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's fucked. She must be so like, ah, you motherfucker. She was like my assistant makeup artist She was really I mean, it's not like they had a wonderful relationship. I swooped in and she fucked off She has like borderline personality. I just I was trapped in a horrible horrible relationship You're in a horrible horrible relationship. You fuck his girlfriend Except for the except for the we had three the only way she kept me was we had to we'd have a three-sem like once a year Wait the fuck stop the fucking show everybody's on pause nobody gets to talk nobody gets to hit fucking play on this conversation

Stop you are in fucking West Virginia Virginia regular Virginia standard Virginia Virginia fuck it. You're in a fucking state. Okay, you meet her at a hotel You're a photographer in a relationship with the fucking chick. Yeah, she's a makeup girl. She's an ass. She works with you Right, so she now you're you now you're not you don't have your tits, but you're you I had no tits No tits not that I saw any of her videos without tits on me She's I was cute without it. So I was gonna say it. I was like I look at an 11 year old Japanese. I personally look I like it better anyways So you so she your girlfriend would only,

she would let you hook up with Bailey, but you fucked his girlfriend. Well, basically, they had three sums all the time with models. They were surrounded by suicide girls and models. They would have three sums all the time. And then she became infatuated with me because she had Borla impersonal disorder.

And she was like, somebody loved me. So we didn't do anything in Virginia. Yeah, no, it was just months later. I came up to New York to see you guys. And I boughed his girlfriend because she was nuts. somebody loved me. So we didn't do anything in Virginia. Yeah, no, it was just monthly. Later I came up to New York to see you guys and I boughed his girlfriend because she was nuts and then, um, Wow. Yeah, but then like,

and him and I weren't allowed to touch each other because obviously I'm an ember and really cute. She was really insecure around me. Hello. And eventually, Bailey, this is Jim. Say hi to Jim. Okay.

Jim Norton. Say hi. Hi Jim Norton, this is Bailey. Ah, Jim, Jim. Jim Norton's on the phone right now. So you, So you actually, so you actually was with your chick, she'd fuck your girl as her.

Yes. And you never, you couldn't touch her though. No, not for like the first few weeks. I was just working on learning how to edit videos while they're like dating in the other room. So your girl was dating Bailey while you were, but she wanted to fuck you. Her?

Yes. Bailey wanted to be with you. Yeah, and I wanted to be with Bailey, but I wasn't allowed but when you wanted to hold on You wanted to you wanted to be with her even before she was fully girl Bailey She was fully girl then she had boob. She just didn't have boob Yeah, but she's still the same other other. I mean I look exactly like this, but was flat chest Yeah, no boob, but you were still like I was very into her, yeah. Okay, okay, and then what? And then, what would happen with the reason we fell in love was my girlfriend's fault,

because we couldn't really hook up. So we ended up just talking all the time. Well, Matt and I weren't allowed to fuck around. You were actually really slutting. Special announcement, Jim Norton is coming down. Oh, I'm so happy. He's brushing his teeth. He's brushing his teeth.

Washing his cock, scrubbing his little hairless asshole. We use the same assholes you by the way. Does he really? My butthole is minus two pink. My butthole is like alarmingly. I really hate Pepto Bismol. I bleach my ass. I really hate the line that's forming in front of you right now. Matt was a nuff of a roadblock.

Now, where it's gonna be or two. Come on, Bailey. Just way back in line. Way back in line. I do it for him. I can handle all of you. It's okay. Bailey, I thought this was gonna be your two. Come on, Bailey. Well, way back in line. Give way back just a lot. I didn't get porn. I can handle all of you. It's okay. Bailey, I thought this was gonna be our night.

Look at my whole heart. Wait a minute, Bailey, you wanna see a dick? Honey, show her. What if my wife just had a huge cock? That's amazing. Just fucking put it on your shoulder. Scared the shit out of Maddie, what the hell? I actually, I had never met a transsexual

until like a year ago. I had never even met one. Really? Yeah, I'd never. She's the first one I a year ago. I'd never even met one. Really? Yeah, I'd never. She's the first one I met. Yeah, I was never, because you were like, wait, aren't you all supposed to be like Vietnamese chicks with AIDS? And I'm like, no.

I thought I thought. I thought I was going to like give him AIDS immediately. I just rubbed my dick around in some AIDS. Like, oh, hey, I didn't see you there. How are you? But you understand that the transsexual, she-mail world... I hate the word. It sounds good. But she-mail or transsexual?

All of it. It just sounds like, hi, I'm going to fucking give you so many diseases. You're just going to puke blood immediately. It sounds like, hi, I'm here to give you crabs. It's so bad. Well, here are the things. It's a weird, I mean, you are an exception to...

I think the evolution of the female. Because you really, you really don't have a lot of hair. It's not like you can grow. And I'm Italian and Spanish, so that's a feat in it, don't even if I did have a pussy. I don't have a body hair. I should be shaving my mustache every day. You have no, you don't get,

I would get a five o'clock shadow. No, oh my God. And I know girls, I won't say names because I don't want to get murdered. I know girls that have to fucking shave their face Really? I've hooked up with girls where we're doing a scene and I'm like oh Like I'll touch their face and I'm like oh my god like I forgot trainees have that issue I mean other trainees my wife is an esthetician. Oh, yes, like a like call assistant stuff for I don't Wax, okay, okay, I don't let her do guys, but I let you can do him her you can do her and you're going

We have right now I didn't mean to do that I have double D tips. I still manage to get called him I didn't mean him I met her Shim me fucking monster No, I don't let her do any guys because she works this along with gay guys command and I say even though they're gay guys I don't let her do oh really? We're gonna fall in love with some guy. No. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. I just don't want it to look at fucking beautiful hogs all day I wanted a day guys are gorgeous. I wanted I wish gay guys would fuck me. They're fucking gorgeous Gay guys don't like baili gay guys think they hate me

I did too feminine. They like me on the way that like they like Madonna and like over the top pretty people They like me, but like as far as fucking me. I I think they are so adorable they went nothing to do with me. So when guys are like I'm straight but I want to have sex with you I'm like no shit you want to have sex with me if you're straight I look like a chick. Right. It's not a big leap. Yeah like come on guys they happen like. The leap is at the end when he has to wipe his cheek off.

Right. But let's talk about that first. Let's talk about that for a second, Matt. I mean, it is a bit of a leap. You know, it's, you know, there's still a penis involved and there's things you know I mean. It's, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, pussy's wonderful, don't get me wrong,

but it's not like it doesn't look like an alien a little bit. I'm just putting that out there. Pussy's got a tang up without fucking question. Without question, pussy's got a tang up. I mean, it hangs about as much as my balls. So hopefully you'll figure. Pushy, I mean, okay, let's break it down. Let's break down sex, okay, with a cock and a pussy.

Pussy is a fucking open. It's, you literally going inside another human being. That's right. It feels like the bottom of a starfish, if you get in there real deep, it's all little things and nukes and crannies and smells. I don't even know what the fuck is going on in there real deep. It's all little things and nooks and crannies and I don't know what the fuck is going on in Texas. I don't A dick is just like a fucking toe. Yeah, what how uncomfortable can you be with a dick? You've had one attached to your body since birth for fuck's sake guys

Yeah, but it doesn't shoot stuff at me But guys spend their entire life trying to suck their dick guys when their entire lives or at least their preteen lives Trying to suck their own dick So when they finally get a chance to suck my dick, they're really excited lives, or at least their preteen lives, trying to suck their own dick. So when they finally get a chance to suck my dick, they're really excited. They're like, oh my god, I get to find out what a dick tastes like, finally.

After trying to suck my own for 20 years. I try, I stop. I've tried to suck my own cock. I'll admit it. I'm a guy who almost snapped my neck. I'm not even kidding. I used to be able to, and then it got smaller. Did you find your ears started turning off

while you're trying to do it? Dude, I almost killed myself. Oh, that would have been awesome for your parents to find you. Oh, my parents, my wife, we would together. It's fucking last week. No, I'm joking. I'm kidding. It's, yeah.

I never, I never tried to do that. I never had an urge. You never even tried? No, because I was, because I was always like, it'll still be a dick in my mouth. Oh, wow. Even though it's my dick, by the time you're contorted into sucking your own dick, you don't know that it's your dick anymore. How could you think I'm cute though?

There will be real pressure for you to blow me if we hook up. Listen, there will be like legitimate, like why the fuck are, like the thing you guys put girls through, I'll put you through, like what the fuck are you blowing right now? I worked it all out last week in my head, and we talked about it in this podcast.

It only took a week. I said, no, no, it took 10 minutes on the podcast as we talked about it, we should have a week ago. But, I did say, I have a bit about you in my act. I think I might have heard it. Oh wait, well it's only a week old. I don't know. Oh, then I did someone else,

someone else did something about me and I'm like, what the fuck? But I have a bit about you in my act when I found out we were interviewing, where I go, we're interviewing this girl, Bailey J. She's transsexual, sorry to use the word, cause I know you don't like it. I don't hate it on a liberal level, I just.

But I'm like, we are interviewing this girl, and I'm like, I would, I'm straight, I would jerk this girl off. I think give her a hand job. I would give her a hand job. I would fucking suck her ball sack. I do the, I poop pop to the, and I joke around to be like,

check this out. Poof. And then I also talk at length though. And this is my wife right there. I don't give a shit. The amen and admit it. I talk at length about the whole thing. I'm like, oh, I'm about her.

About my, yeah, good question. I'm sorry, go ahead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I finished. I'm not working. She's a fan. She's a fat cat. Do you What do you hate me sometimes? Finish. I... My wife's a fan. She's a fat kid. Do you find it intriguing?

I think it's very cool. It's actually... I don't know. I mean, I do like girls at all. I think girls are... Wait a minute. Wait, stop. We're gonna stop right here really for one second. I'm gonna let you answer.

Matt and fucking Bailey. Uh-huh. I'm gonna let you... The unit's fucking Bailey, I'm gonna let you in. The unit's stand, this could fucking throw my marriage down a fucking fucking road that I can never come home from. Yeah, you know what, it's upsetting me to- It's really just a risk for some reason, sorry. It's upsetting me too, because I look at dawn like my aunt,

I come over to eat cooked food for me and stuff, she takes good care of me. Well, hey, love you. I don't wanna hear my aunt talk about this right now. I'm on the road a lot. I just want to come home and see fucking Bailey, fucking blasting hot in the fucking- Get our pregnant.

Yeah, which I can't for the last six months, sorry. My fucking- Are you trying to have a kid? Yeah, we've been trying for a long time. That's awesome. Yeah, it's awesome if it fucking worked the way it's supposed to. I mean, I'm 23. We could just alternate. And then if the baby comes out looking like me, it just won't say anything. Yeah, if the baby comes out fucking work the way it's supposed to I mean I'm 23 we could just alternate and then if the baby comes out Looking like me, which won't say anything. Yeah, if the baby comes out hot and gorgeous. That's true with a hog

Now Matt you know, let's just get this out you have a penis. I do okay Matt actually doesn't have a penis Okay, all right. All right. We're getting to the bottom of the bottom I have two penises. You know how I know you don't. Now, but here's the thing, it's, it's, let's just get back to this for a second. There is,

there is not buzzing. Like we're on fucking A&E. I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm fucking stupid, podcast. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second.

I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second.

I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say.

I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say. I forgot for a second. Yeah, it was the first one. First cock you sucked with Bailey's. Completely straight. First time you wanted to suck a cock and you sucked it. I mean, I might have had a weird thought in the past,

but as far as, yeah, I was going to. So how do you go? Look at dude, how do you go from fucking being with a woman? No, look, she's beautiful. I get it. If I was in a hotel room and I wasn't married, you know, and my wife, Shaker, had you better say that you cocked soccer. I get it. If I was in a hotel room and I wasn't married, you know, and I, and my wife, Shaker, you better say that you cock soccer. And I say, I say cocks head because of Ramboston, not the cocksucker. We're talking about now. But if I, I get it.

If I saw her and she was like, Hey, you know, wasn't like, Hey, what's up, dude? Hey, what's up? Hey, fuck you, dude. You want to suck my cock kid? That'd be, I imagine a fucking guy. You can't even imagine a training for a Boston. Dude, hey, to suck my cock kid? I imagine a fucking twink. You can even imagine a training from Boston. Dude, hey kid, I'll fucking blow you right now. Dude suck my ass, oh you fucking twink. Stop being a fucking quid suck my cock. I'm on the car door getting it, I'm gonna fucking suck your cock, you're gonna suck my cock.

Kid fucking two times, we're gonna suck cock. And then we're gonna get a fucking steak and cheese after. Oh my god. We're gonna go, we're gonna go, we're gonna go dogs. And then we're gonna get a fucking steak and cheese after. Oh my god. We're gonna go, we're gonna go, Kelly's roast beef and sack each other's gawks or fucking cock a lot. I'll buy you some pizza after. You're gonna have to.

So, so how do you go from, how do you go from, now all of a sudden you're with Bailey, right? You're with Bailey, she's naked. You're like holy shit, she's fucking cock is there. Yeah. And how do you go from not wanting the suck of cock being with women to just saying fuck it and putting in your mouth? And did he, in this question goes,

after you answer that, it goes right to you, was he awful at sucking cock? Yeah, it was because I started to like her before we hooked up. As a person, yeah. Right, okay. And she's beautiful. And I had no, I wrestled with it a little bit in my head.

Not a cock. The concept, because I was, I went to Catholic school and the public in highlands. She has a cock like us, the snake from Conan the Bob area. I know what you're saying, dude. I'm saying this respectfully, because I know what your wife did. I'm not talking disrespectfully.

And I respectfully do as well. I know what you're saying, because when I saw you online, something stirred inside of me where I was literally like, I just accept her for every opportunity. Oh, everyone battles that, everyone battles that. I was like, it's not about whether I wanna touch a conch or not. It's just like, that's just part of who she is.

No, I struggle like this is me, I'm gay, what's going on. Yeah, it was just, and then it just turned into she's hotter, really like her. I wanna turn on, I wanna get her off. We were of course, we were of course, to be friends for a long time before. So we got to know me and realize, I'm just like a chick, except for I'm not fucking crazy.

Yeah, that's okay. So that was a big part of that. He liked that I wasn't like batch. I hadn't been in a long-term, like a serious relationship for 17 years. Well, that's the thing too, isn't that? I couldn't click with girls for long-term. We just constantly fight about everything.

And then, okay, so now the first time we blew you it sucked. No, I was good. Girls are way worse at sucking dick than guys in my experience. Girls that's like a whole lot. Her theory is that guys actually like sex on a really raw animal level. Yeah, that's the difference. Guys will smell your asshole. You know what I mean?

Like our girls are not all girls are gonna sniff you ass. That's the problem. I mean I mean I'll, that's a problem with me and my wife I mean all of the fun and she's right here, but that's the problem with guys. We're taught and I I do this in my act But I just putting that out there. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding I'm shaking my leg. All right. Good. Good.

Kidnapping. Kidnapping. Baby shit compared to what this dude's doing. Sorry. We do smoking the band in a while. That's so cool. So, uh, that's a hot dick. She's got a dick.

Oh, that's a hot dick. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. So uh, shit. She got a penis. That's the man act. Oh Holy shit You got a penis that's the man act

Fuck you and you when I get home I'm gonna suck your mama's dick Holy shit, this is a whole new smoking the bad door. We just hope have you ever seen smoking the man it? No, are you fucking really? Is that the one with Sally field or is that not the one with Sally field? Yeah, Reynolds first of all First of all, you're the only person I've ever heard go smoking the man it that's moving with Sally field Well, no, I really are her the standout and the flying none is what stuck out in my brain for whatever You really are girl But yeah, Sally is in it and she's wonderful

But I mean it's you are's as wonderful as Sally field can be with her brittle bones. I fucking hate her. Ooh, you take that back. I really, I'm with you. I would punch a bitch in the face. Sally, feel. Do me a favor.

Don't fucking don't do a brittle bone commercial because now I feel like you're human. Right. And life sucks for everybody. I don't care what you're fucking calcium. You fucking flying none. What the fuck? Go, go, go, go, go, go go spend the fucking ten minutes in the sun a day you

Drink some milky stupid bitch Really mean about Sally feel fucks out the rails me up Okay, that woman has a pussy and I don't who do you want to fuck that's all I'm saying me and Me and Matt me and Matt it's the funny the conversation It's linking this way. it's linking that way. Every time you guys are going off, me and Matt are just like, I don't know. It's me and her. It's me and her at the top.

You're the bottoms. Yeah. Oh God, it'd be such a fucking dirty bottom. You're my fucking bitch. Oh God, I just want to be held. I listen. My friend Brian used to do this thing, though, so this is what I thought, like, yeah, maybe maybe something's going on more than just chicks at my brain.

Are you gay or bires? No, I'm straight, as a fucking arrow. Yeah, all right. Can I stop from you? You are not. Listen, if Matt didn't exist, and he never showed up tonight, you know what you'd be doing tonight? You'd be fucking blowing, baby.

I don't think she let me, she's at him. I mean, isn't that the worst when a tranny's out of your league? It makes you an exam in your life, okay? Let's deal with that. Let's let's let's fucking mat. Fucking just let this go down. It's you're married, you got her. Oh, no, you stick here.

Okay, yeah, he's got it. Would you, if you weren't married, would you fuck around with Joe to worship? Oh my god, yeah, but that's not saying much. I'm disgusting. Oh, me too this is right near the words of kinship fuck it love you

nice bander die like lower than the floor right now it's rough I just have he he he buckled down and got married to me because he saw it he's like she's a slut she's not I'm gonna marry her immediately does it not it doesn't it doesn't fuck sorry do you let her do you let her fucking be? Because, you know, look, I talk to gay,

I talk to gay guys, we were writing this book about cheating, we have a book coming up called Cheat A Man's Guide to Infernalty. It's a how to cheat and get away with it. Done in comedy, it was funny, but it's very real. It's like, why guys fuck up, what you do wrong, what you should do, how you can cheat and get away with it. And I interviewed a bunch of gay guys,

because we were thinking of doing a chapter on gay guys and what they cheat, but they don't really cheat because sex to them is an emotional. Sex is sex. And emotional is like if you're holding somebody and soft kissing them and saying them Valentine's stuff, that's fucked up. If you suck a dick in a steam room, it's not that bad.

We get it, just don't tell me. Don't bring them home. That's why it's more hurtful if a woman cheats because you know it's on an emotional level at sucks. I'd rather catch her blowing a dude than fucking holding his hand at the pier. No, I understand that. That's where my womanliness comes in

because I do like a nice cuddle after a bang. I mean, it could be the filthiest bang on earth. I like a nice cuddle. I said to girl, I don't even cuddle. I don't even cuddle. I'm a titson, I don't cuddle. Because you're a dude. I really am.

Let me just say, I really am. As much as I'm a girl, whatever, I'm a fucking dude. I have good problem solving skills. I suck dick, like a fucking hoover. Yeah, sometimes she's horny and just says like take your pants down. I want to smell your ass and she'll jerk off. Yeah, I like he just let me go back to the gym and I'm like let me smell your balls. Yeah, I might need to go with Bailey.

I think I think is my I had actually I shower today. You know, me times you know, me time she's woken up in like in the middle of night. My hand is just on the pillow. Narrow fish. Did you fuck washing? It just smells like ball ass. She's woken up in the middle of that my hand is just on the pillow near her. She said did you fuck you watching? Is it just smells like ballass? I was a sleep itcher for a while. I was just itching my ass and I just wake up and itching my ass all and then smell it I have no problem with it. She was like oh, but listen, my point is is this is that do you let her fuck around?

Do you do you guys fuck around with other people? Is it just now? I know you're a porn star show. Right. There it is. This is what you do for work, but do you let her? Yeah, like fool around. We're very monogamous. We're also really realistic where if it came down to the fact that like the only way

our relationship is going to survive is if I buy him a Czechoslovakian prostitute, I'm not a moron, I want to stay married, I love my, I mean, I obviously I hope it doesn't come to that because it would hurt me really bad. Right. But at the same time time I'd rather buy him a hooker who doesn't want to get fucked anyway than have that fuck some 18 year old That's pretending she wants it because she has a point to prove yeah, but so you so if she wanted to suck somebody's cock or just You know have her cock suck by somebody else that would fuck you up It wouldn't fuck me up, but I don't we wouldn't well I used to say it wouldn't bother me, but it would bother her. If I did it.

Right. And the more we've talked about it, we realized that the potential is there for an emotional connection, even if it's intended not that way. Right. So it's a risk. And it does, does it bother you when she works?

No, but she really only hooks up. I only work with girls. I only work with, with transactuals and girls. And it's very rare. And I'm not exactly attracted to that. And they don't fuck her, she only fucks that. So the guys in the video, is that you videotaping? If it's the guy, I'm the only guy that like fucks her in video, yeah.

So that's your cock. You do porn movies too? I do the POV stuff, we were married. Only with her, only with her. So that's your piece. Yeah, you get a big piece. Oh, thank you. He really does.

He's got a, you got a big, and it's always the little ones. It's always the skinny guys, yeah. Your hog is what I'm so glad her hog doesn't look like. I killed that guy. This is for those of you listening. He would, Matt is perfect. I wanna really big one. Listen to me, now you.

I don't know if you're gonna touch my big money. You wouldn't make money. You wouldn't make money. You'd be surprised, these guys are disgusting. They're the stomach of the earth. Listen, if you had a big fucking pulsing vein dick, not that you'd done the Mustang that's what your dick is, but you.

Even if it was your man, so it's not, you know, you have a dick that looks like your dick. That's true. It looks like a girl's car. Yeah, it's a little fucking white missile. It really is white. That's why I like it. Well, it's better than it is long. It really is.

It's like six inches around. It's a fat dick. Very fat piece. Now, so, okay, so back to my wife was saying, you like the dirty stuff, blah, so, okay, so back to what my wife was saying, you liked the dirty stuff, blah, blah. That's a problem with, guys, we brought up that sex is, is, is fucking, is dirty. Like, we brought up with videos and porn and fucking,

you know, looking suck, you know, kill yourself with my dick. And then, we brought up, with girls are brought up, girls like my wife are brought up, sex is, you know, looking suck, you know, killing yourself with my dick. And then when we brought up with girls or brought up, girls like my wife or brought up sexes, you know, sex is bad. You put these perfect. And you meet somebody in a fairy tale and you wait and you blah, blah, blah.

So the women you like, or you love, you don't treat dirty. You fucking treat the other girls dirty. So it's hard to treat my wife like the fucking a pig. No, that makes sense, that makes sense. So it's hard to like, wife like the fucking pig. No, that makes sense, that makes sense. So it's hard to like, you know, I mean my therapist used to tell me, you go home, eat you wife's pussy.

It's like relax, don't say, eat my wife, say it another way. He would literally say, eat her pussy. I'm like, don't say, eat my wife's pussy. I would get fucked up with that. And he would laugh, he'd be like, you fucked up, see how fucked up you are.

I can't even say you wife's pussy and you get all fucking nuts. Look at, I mean, there is't even say you wife's pussy and you get all fucking nuts. Look at, I mean, there is a level of, it's almost worse what they do to girls. Cause at least they train us to go with our, I say us, us dudes. To go with our emotions, go with the carnal lust where I feel like our girls approach sex is different

and it's biological as opposed to conditioned, I think. I think girls aren't designed to want to fuck a bunch cause the girls just on a biological level trying to get pregnant even if she says she is not. I disagree with this theory. I really do. I think. I think.

I think. I think that's just the reality. I think that I'm, I think that I'm, I think that when you get fucked in the ass, they were fucked in the ass and they're eight years old. Well, but you're convincing. I don't think, I think, first two weeks of dating. I don't think that, that girls, I think it's all society, I think it's all bullshit.

Women, they're the double standards that we have where women here, if I fuck a lot of guys, I'm a whore, so they're scared to do it. I don't think that means they don't wanna do it inherently. And I think women are actually, much use the word inherently again, I'll fucking punch you. You inherently, inherently. I can big word use it.

Inheritally. It's not that big of a word dummy it's a reason for this fucking podcast it is stupid stop trying to impress Bailey what your big words she just working she said yeah right all right listen so here's the thing I actually think I actually think that women are much better at compartmentalizing it than men are I I think women are much better at going I need to shut this off right now. What happened is what happened? I can shut it out whatever. I think men are much more Territorial when it comes to sex. But now do you think that's biological or if that's condition?

I'll tell you well, I don't I think no, I think it's biological. Okay. I think I look Obviously nature and nurture always meet right? I think it's way more nature than we give a credit for and I think there's There's stop always meet, right? I think it's way more nature than we give a credit for. And I think there's, there's, stop. All right, go ahead. That phrase for crane, we can't stop. Okay, that phrase for crane, exactly. Stop, I'm just saying. Stop being so, we're talking about cock and licking ass.

I know what I'm saying is this though. All right, guys are territorial when it comes to sex. Okay, I had, I've had chicks in my life that I banged and I treat it like, and how did that work out? Were they crazy as fuck? No, just treat it like garbage not garbage their faith But you go, I'm not fucking talking to him work And then a friend of mine would call me and go hey, I'm at this place and I'm at this chick that you kind of fucked one time

You can't if I go for it and I go no, you can't fucking go for it, dude No, you know what I'm gonna give a shit about it. You kick her out That's bullshit. That's you that's fucking you That's fucking you, dude. Most guys aren't territorial. I'm not fucking territorial. In fact, most girls that I used to date, I used to try to get them to blow my friends. I know. You're exactly. You're a stereotype.

But you're a cop holding. Listen, no, that's not what it is. It's, I think you're a whore. I don't think you're worthy of me. You really like me, but you really don't. I'm gonna get you to suck his cock, and if you do, I was fucking right. That makes sense.

You marry the one that isn't a whore. I mean, she would never suck. You know, she didn't like black people, she doesn't like Spanish people, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Well, no, but you have respect for your wife. Well, here's a deal. You know what I mean? But that's the fuck up with me is because I have sex and love.

Love is you don't fucking get dirty, you don't get fucked up, and then sex is you fucking, you fucking treat him like shit, you eat the pussy, fuck me, the asshole. We have a happy medium where we genuinely love each other, we have loving, sexy, fucks my ass, and we love each other, but I'm a slut for it, I love it. Right, see, I get,

at the same time I don't need to come anybody else. We have to be more, we're trying to get, I have to become more loving like else. We have to be more, we're trying to get, like, I have to become more loving, like her. She likes to be kissed, and she has to become more slutty, like me. Well, that makes sense, yeah, that makes me hard. Maybe your hardwiring's a little different than one another. Me and Matt's hardwiring is so similar.

Right. Because when it comes down to it, I look like a chick, I feel like a chick, I consider myself a woman, whatever. Right. I have dude wiring. I'm, I'm, I- Do you like video games? I know how to, yeah, well, like, that's my point. I know how to hook up right I have dude wiring. I'm I'm I like video games I know how to yeah, well like that's my point. I know how to hook up. We got an NES

I know what a hook up and NES or or or um, yeah, I can play battlefield three for four hours And she doesn't well. Yeah, I don't give a fuck and really it's yeah, yeah, like he can play video games Like our our wiring's just very similar so I don't get on his shit He doesn't get on my shit. We don't keep on each other. It's really simple. My wife made, and not even, I think it was subliminal. She made sausage stew tonight. Oh, nice. I didn't even do it. How appropriate.

And brownie. Brownie. I swear to God. Mine is pink. I don't, I stand far away from the brownie. She might be worried that women can't like sex. Evolutionarily. Not now.

They can't like sex. Because if they did, there'd be no survival of the fittest because everybody would just be fucking every Tom dick in here I could get in there. There'd be no need for evolution had to make women not like it as much so guys had to fight So they religion I think religion had a lot to do religion does play a part of it But I was raised religious and I'm more horny as a result Well, yeah religion pays a lot. I mean, it's like women, you know guys you do this women you do that women You know, you know you you you respect yourself your princess This is beautiful and you meet a guy and a prince and a princess and you know they take care of you and guys

We like you fucking conquer and fucking right right choke on my cock and then Then we learn what you learn we learn what my wife right? I just want to see women respect and I didn't know that and I'm all fucked up I'm they learn like I didn't know I could be a dirty whore because I really want to a little bit. So you go meet in the middle, you're good. Yeah, but it's hard to meet in the middle because you go down these roads

and then somewhere in the middle you got to meet because the girls, the sex that I like is fucked up. And the girls, the girls who like that sex, you said it yourself, a fucking mental. Oh my god, if I didn't have a dick and I liked sex as much as I do it was because I was fucking molested as shit Yeah, my girls it told me they were molested by their daddy as they were blowing me calling me daddy Oh, of course, of course, it's okay little girl. It's okay. It's crazy girls crazy girl layout Best put daddy forgives you. What's the most what's the what's the fucked up kind of sex that you like?

Dude I fucking I fucking pretty much did it all and then it got to the point where I was, you know, prostitutes and it was the hunt that was right the hunt got to me because regular broad Because look, I do comedy, man. I could go out and hang out go up and do my show Googleize some chicks in the fucking crack hang out go to the bar talk shit get them back to the hotel room Fucking that got boring. Yeah, then it became the hunt Chicks and the fucking hang out go to the bar talk shit get them back to the hotel room fucking That got boring. Yeah, then it became the haunted, you know You know, I used to before the even the internet I would go into a room grab a phone book flip around and I'd find the massage Paula right I would find that one place I knew by the fucking it's open to 11 interesting Oh, I gotta call up do you do table showers?

Regular places don't do that. I know what's that that? Were they pissed on you? No, no, no, table showers. They massage paws where they wash you. I know wash your ass. Yeah, I used to go to massage paws a lot. And you know, you're pissed on a girl's ass. I had a girl. I want someone to piss my ass. I haven't done that yet. We were saving another were married. I had a girl. This is funny. For Easter. A girl called me up one time. She's like, I want you to piss on me. And I was like, I don't know.

My father, my real dad at the time, this is years ago. No, he called on the other line. And I go, hang on, it's my dad. And I pick it up. And I go, listen, dad, this is my real dad. I haven't talked him in 20 years, it's 15 years, so I'm like that. I go, this girl wants me to piss on her.

What would you do? He's like, wow, listen. He goes, I wouldn't fucking drink a gallon of water and muster up a piss. But if I had to take a piss, fuck it, go ahead. That's gorgeous. That's amazing. Well, here's a deal, is that I've done pretty much all

I've wanted to do. I've taken it to the limp and I've done all fucking crazy shit. That's important if you want to get married. Well, yeah, I mean, I was done. That's very important. You gotta get it out of here. I was fucking, I was, I was done. That's very important. I was done. You got to get it out of your head. I was fucking, I was like, okay, I'm ready to,

I told somebody this, it's more challenging now for me to become this guy, to become monogamous, to actually learn how to love fucking the woman you love. You guys are monogamous? And you have to, yeah. How long have you been married? Four years. Well, the thing is you have to get over it at some point.

And that's the way I look at it. I married a 37-year-old that had no problem getting pussy for years and years and years. Right. And that's the only person I would marry. I don't want to marry somebody as soon as they turn 18, having had a chance to piss on a girl's head or whatever the fuck a guy needs to do.

I'm not going to lock that down. They're going to be fucked up in 30 years and still need to piss on a girl's head. So, you know, you just let it get out of their system, same as I did. I sucked so many dicks. I sucked too many dicks. I mean, I was like, wait. She sucked the guy's dick with a bag sticking out of his kidneys. I did. Was she the last to be bad?

No, no, no. He was dating and it wasn't a class to be bagged. He was gorgeous. Okay, like, like a donna. It's like so beautiful. Any had a disease that was named after him, actually. What was it called? Bradley Bird syndrome, and his name was Bradley Bird, obviously. And he had, I assume is a thing. Google, he could have been lying, I'm hot, guys lied to me.

But he had like a bag attached to his stomach that had his intestine in the bag. Oh, it hurt that guy. Dude, he was gorgeous though, right? But you still bloom with the bag bag but it's not because I'm a slut it's because I'm such a good person I'm like I'm not gonna let it bother me. Did he win an Oscar? Bradley Bird no he's nothing he's dating like a 15 year old man. He's shit. Okay, he's rich. He's a virginia horse shit like you would think your contestants in a bag will be

humbling right no it was for a minute and then I broke up with him I broke up with them and he goes you're breaking up with me. Is he blonde? Yes very. Yeah he want a fucking Oscar. No no no this kid didn't win shit. He's the guy who fucking did uh he's a guy who fucking did uh he's like 20 he's like a 20 he's like a kid. Okay I forget. He's a fucking moron anyway. Point being he thought I broke up with him because of the bag but I broke up with him because he was a fucking bore he was so fucking boring but this is what blows me away about you and even talking to you on the phone for a second uh-huh you're you're fucking pretty normal like you're pretty normal and well adjusted for a fucking dude in a dress yeah and a really hot dress by the way honey I like this dress just FYI from a a thrift store. That means a shirt?

I had to shirt, it's kind of a dress, but in more leggings it's a dress. But it's like, you're pretty well adjusted for, like, you know, you said that these girls are a lot of them a fucked up. Oh my god, yeah. Like, yeah, walking Xanax, they're crazy. Really?

Fucking insane. You think girls who do porn with a pussy are crazy, wait to meet a fucking mom with identity crisis, they're insane, they're fucking nuts. And that's a tough, that's a tough position to be in because we go through it a lot with comedy. Where we sit there and go, you know dude, like Bobby and I are very close and it's like,

we're real people and that's why we're close and we can kind of recognize how fucked up a lot of the people around us are. And that's tough when you're in your industry because you kind of feel like a man without a Country sometime I fit in with these people, but what the fuck man get your shit together? Oh my god same as porn you probably meet some fucking dark people like weird dark We're fucking dark. I hear that a lot about

Compensated we're in the verge of fucking just ending it all all the time. The guy said that Rodney was the most depressed guy he's ever heard. That's what I heard, Ana, what the fuck podcast? I know a guy that knows that new Rodney danger field. And like, he was telling us these stories about him and they were some of the funniest fucking stories I've ever heard about. I was crying laughing at these stories and I asked him I go was this just amazing? Did you just love this guy and he goes?

No, dude he goes it was really depressing man He was like I looked up to this guy so much and I just saw that he was like a fucking mess And it's like that's how it is man you meet these Sad fucking business man. Yeah, it's yeah because we're like death of a salesman We're on the road and you know what I mean? No, you go what? I was in finish you were done. I don't like that's the fifth pair head for their senior wear Oh, this apart go ahead. Sorry. I don't like the you fight the key we get Joe drunk This the first time we got him drunk was a couple weeks ago, and it's just no it's funny

But he just touchy happened and he'll get mean to he'll start getting mean all your mean drugs No, no, no, no, no, no, no, see that face look at that face look at the face I love the face. He doesn't he doesn't get me. It's not a mean like oh my god He's gonna beat me up cuz I fucking kill him. No, it's it's it's Joe mean, which is fucking annoying grumpy face. It's more like an albundi kind of just which is fucking annoying grumpy face. It's more like an albundi kind of just, eh. Yeah.

It's harmless. You just like, yeah, I shut up, Joe. All right, go ahead, sorry. I didn't get what I was saying you can't. Oh, fucking, Joe. You were saying that comics are fucking, for the majority, we're fucked up. And this is what people don't get.

We make fun of each other. We trash each other. Brutally honest. But when you live a brutally honest life, when you're always fucking analyzing, taking shit apart, and being honest with people, saying, dude, what's up with that fucking shirt? Nice face.

You get fucking stupid eyes. Or, you know, whatever the fuck you do, it fucks you up, man, because most of the world doesn't do that. Most of the world, women when they come out and they hang out together, all you look great. Really, you like this? They're thinking for me.

You and the guys do the same shit. They do it, but people are, but yeah, but most people don't, they won't trash each other, make fun of each other. They're not as honest as each other. There's something about being honest like it's Joe. Joe saying that he wants to fucking suck your cock. There's something it doesn't make him, it doesn't make him go, me go, you're a

fag. It makes me go, you're fucking brilliant. That's the thing. So awesome. We decided to come on the show. We were, this, that's the mindset we were hoping for. Cause you can have the mindset where there's like a alreadyanger, whoever who's unwilling to budge an inch. I'm just using him as an example. Obviously, I'm sure he could not be the person

I'm referring to specifically. But someone who will not budge an inch on the subject, you know what I mean? Where I was supposed to be on Howard a few months ago. Right. And I was informed like, oh, you know, Howard's gonna be cool. He's gonna think you're gorgeous.

Yeah. Some other people who could be on the show could not be as nice. My Ralph, Ralph would be like that. Well yeah, and I obviously I could hold my own. I'm funny. I don't take myself too seriously. I'm like, whatever about it.

You're fine. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. Yeah, you're fine. But at the same time, I don't want to go out of my way to fly, because at the time we were in Vegas, I don't want to fly to New York to have some guy break me. Sure. And tell me like, I would never suck your dick. And it's like, dude, I didn't ask you to suck my dick.

I would never let you touch my dick with a 10 foot pole you piece of shit. Bailey has stories lots of them Where she'll be at a bar? This is a long time ago and yeah, and guys will come up to her and one the one dude is there Because one of those other guys around like I wouldn't suck you dick Yeah, like so no one is suck your dick. We leave the one guy still there, and he's like I'll totally suck you They suck it like a poor they all do the ones who protest it the most I suck it like a fucking porn star Really they're ridiculous. They have a point to protect so so every Honey, why do you keep staring at me shaking your head? No, no, I'm listening to her and it just kind of goes back to like a lot of the Straight guys that I know of that have come into the right to the salon. Yeah

How many stories of these straight guys married with families? It's not just one or two, it's more like, you know, right out of 20, right? Yeah. You know, fucking around another guy. All right, well look at her, nod your head. Stop staring at me. I had a friend in, I feel like you caught something.

You found, you found that document. I had a friend in, I had a friend in college. We went to the office. Yeah, I know. I was alone. Please let this end by you a second, he's gone. No, no. I had a friend gay.. We went to the office. Yeah, I know. I was alone. Please let this end by you a second, he's got. No, no. I had a friend gay.

Have you ever sucked a dick? No. No, see him in. Stop it. I sucked a dick. I sucked a dick. Okay, I have not. Look at me.

I have never done that. No. My smile. Because I'll tell you. Why? No. You're gonna be the last cock. Really?

My would be the last cock. No. I'm gonna take it fence to. Really? My would be the last cock. I'm fucking taking fence to that. I'm joking, dude. All right, well, it'd be the first cock. Thank you, I got the first. You suck, I got the first. Baby, do I have an all right cock, right?

Listen. Could you fucking say it with the look? I didn't ask you if you... That's the one, I can't wait to suck it late. How's that boss to know, except? Imagine that being a penny. I can't wait to suck it late, a. I want to fucking put your cock in my ass Joey but a book was wife just like ready to suck a dick

Oh, good. But I was in college. There was a porn store called cupids right near my actually I shouldn't say where kids fucking slander whatever I suck the dick when I was young, okay I'm gonna put that out though., cool. I don't know. I like you wanted to or made to do it. I didn't put that at the end. I was just, I went suck dick. I was young. I didn't know.

My therapist told me that everybody did that. Everybody did that. Was your dad? You sucked your therapist dick? No, no. I didn't want my therapist told me that it was okay. Back then when you, you don't know, you know, your friends or whatever, you circle jerk or whatever,

I blew a fucking dude for a stake. Everybody, I talked about it on the phone. Oh wait, like literally friends or whatever, your circle jerk or whatever, I blew a fucking dude for a steak. Everybody, I talked about it on the... Oh wait, like literally, I thought you were joking earlier. No, I blew a fucking dude, he had his fucking steak. Oh, wait. Well, I don't know. I was young though. Every day...

Every chick can say that. I think I would suck a dick for a steak. It had, yeah, my wife fucking... Yeah, I sell it to half the girls I take out for steak. I suck a dick for a load in the mouth, so I can't say shit. How many times have you suck a dick for a load in the mouth so I can't say shit. How many times have you sucked a dick for a steak, Matt? I never have actually.

I've sucked her dick for a steak. I want to make a point where you were saying no about... When I was in... Oh, sorry. It's not easy. It's just a buzz. This is the best podcast ever. Do you understand?

I know. This is the most interesting shit around every fucking corner. And she's mad talk cause I wanna talk to him, I wanna talk to her. I wanna find out about you if you'll suck my cock, my wife's fucking gonna suck my dick later. And I'm gonna fucking pretend she has a cock. I don't know, there's all kinds of great shit happening. This is like one of those fucking 30-something parties that goes wrong. Yeah, this is a little weird last night.

This part first of all, I'm letting people know right now. Stop with, this is gonna be a two-parter. This is this is going to be a two-parter. This is going to play on Monday, this first and the other part, parts going to be on Thursday because fucking Norton is minutes away. You're finding a spot. We might have to find a mic for him somewhere. I might put a chair next. Okay, you guys. All right, I'll share. You guys will say, right? Yeah, I don't want to smell Norton's breath. Like, God, yeah. All yeah, right so you can he can share it with you can you put a chair next to him? All right cool. Oh, my friends and college when I was in college There was a porn store near the college that had booths in it and they had glory holes in the booth Oh, huh and I had a gay friend and

He would always go he would always go I'm going to the booths I'm going to the idea go creamy go I'm going to the booth. I'm going to the media and he would go creamy go go to the booths and creamy go right because you go up and blow guys and we asked him one time we go who are the guys do you meet other gay guys up there and he was like no dude every guy that blows me is a fucking married guy I see the wedding here at all the time every fucking time it's a married guy sneaking off so it was just to speak to your point before about you know as soon as leaves, all of a sudden it's cool. Everybody gets gandered by the smell. Do you think married guys do that because they feel less guilty about it or because they want cock? The reality is, is I think we live in a world

where it's easier to be married to a woman than it is to be married to a man. And up until recently in New York, you couldn't be married to a man. So yeah, I happen like the month after we moved here. If I didn't look like this and I had the urge to suck dick I don't know what the fuck I would do I'd lose I'd lose my shit. You being a tight spot. I would be you know I'm sure you could find some or some random stranger being a tight You fucking you forget it you forget it when you live here too because even though they just legalize game Arich here, I mean it's it was still a pretty openly gay town to live it. It was okay right right

But you know and I would always say, I definitely have friends where people go, that guy is gay, man. And I always go, why don't you just come out on the clock and we're staying, just be gay. Yeah, New York is insane. And they go, you just can't. And then you go on the road and you go as far as Pennsylvania

where I'm from and you're like, oh, no, this is why people can't just be gay, man. So, I think a lot of transgendered people, especially if they're, if they look like the gender they're trying to be, they get as far away from the gay community as possible because they just, they don't wanna be, oh I'm sorry. They don't wanna be, oh.

They don't wanna be a social pariah. So if they can pass for female, they'll live their life as a female. I'm married ahead of a sexual man, but I'm still a huge advocate for gay, right? Same the same way I'm an advocate for black people not being treated like shit. It's the same thing, which is why it's so funny that a lot of the black vote goes against gay marriage. Because I'm like, dude, you were the gay people 30 years ago, like just be nice.

Yeah, yeah, it is always odd to me when I, I mean, look, it's bad enough when regular, you know, not regular, meaning like whites, regular, you know, normal people. You've got no, you have normal people without cocks and pretty faces. I didn't mean it. We know what you're making. I didn't.

You racist, okay? But, you know, the majority for lack of a better term. It's bad enough when people that weren't oppressed are anti-gay, but it's so weird to me when I see somebody of a minority. Being against another minority. Being exactly, I'm like, guys, this is shitty. Like, what's going on right now?

You shouldn't do that anymore. I mean, yeah, I guess we have to keep in mind that minorities and maybe lower income households also tend to be very religious. And religion, obviously, doesn't super shine on homosexuality and being transgendered and blah, blah, blah. I'm surprised the fucking Westbro Baptist Church hasn't tried to ram a crucifix up my ass yet. Well, it's so...

I think it's that, but I also think it's shut. When you shut your rolls downhill, shit rolls downhill, so it's like, it's like, hey guys, you think we're fucked up, these people are way more fucked up than we are. This smaller group of people, that fucking pick on them, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like my husband diddled my daughter,

but this chick has a dick, can it just like? Right, right, actually. Well, here's the thing though, okay, all the politics and great. That's great Listen, when you suck a cock Here he is Jim Norton the dog The dog you excited I'm gonna sit on that face like He's very he's very cool. He's a great guy Here he is Jim Norton My wife is going he going to be so disappointed when he sees my wife walk out.

A regular checker. Wasn't that a funny episode? Well, part 2 is coming up Thursday. So make sure you come back Thursday to iTunes or Stitcher or fucking Glory Hole or my app, whatever the fuck you use to check out you know what dude podcast and get part two. That's what Jim Norton and just the fucking fray and things get a little more fucking interesting. So make sure you come back Thursday for part two of the Bayley J podcast. And a little reminder, a tribute to Mike D'Sdaffano is this Wednesday night, November 9th,

this Wednesday. You got this on Monday or Tuesday, so this Wednesday, November 9th, this Wednesday. You got this on Monday or Tuesday, so this Wednesday, November 9th, Tribeca Performing Arts Center, a tribute to Mike D'Steffano, me, Rich Voss, Bonnie McFallon, Eugene Mourman, Colin Quinn, Roy Wood Jr., and a special guest to over the fuck that is. It's this Wednesday night, go to lafstub.com for tickets,

Cringtumer for tickets. It's a very special night to celebrate and raise money for Mike D. Stefano, a guy who passed away last year, hilarious motherfucker. So check that out. Take care. Bye-bye. Okay, here's the deal. Go right now to iTunes and get my app. It's free. You asshole. It's free. Free. If you have an iPhone, you don't have my app on it and you listen to this podcast, you're a fucking loser. Or you're just lazy. It has the podcast on there, updates every week. It has my tour dates. It has a bunch of shit. And it's free. It's free. It's the best way to listen to the podcast if you have an iPhone.

Writing your fucking hand, it updates automatically. And another thing, mother fuckers, thank you for donating all the fucking cash you have. We've got, we've made this podcast a million times better because of your donations. If you want to donate, it's $10 and $20. We're going to kind of switch that up to make it whatever you want. It's on gloryholerad. We're gonna kind of switch that up to make it whatever you want. It's on gloryholeradio.com Slash Robert Kelly right at the top donate button We appreciate all the donations because it does help it fucking helps

We pay for a bunch of shit microphones and chords and wires and fucking mixing boards and all kinds of due dads that we need to make The show better so you guys get to fucking have some entertainment in your life And so thank you for all the donations keep spreading the word tell everybody you know to get to fucking have some entertainment in your life. So thank you for all the donations, keep spreading the word, tell everybody you know to get this fucking podcast. You guys got us up to number 30 last week, that's amazing. So thank you and that's it, keep listening.いいねー