Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The 12 of Podcasts

Episode Date: February 1, 2016

This week on YKWD: We have Kate Wolf, Greg Stone, Aaron Berg, and Sean Donnelly!We discuss the recent Amy Schumer story and the hypocritical stance some "fans" are taking. Kate brings her deck of Tarot cards and gives Bobby a reading. Is it in the cards for Bobby to attain the fame he so desires? Tune in and find out! Watch / Listen and enjoy!   RiotCast.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 grados. ¿Estás listo a Robert Kelly? ¿Qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, ¿qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué es, qué To the funniest podcast on the planet Earth This is gonna be a claustrophic It's podcast, it's no rules Look at the mic asshole I'm sure I've already said should I regret it?

Can I get a mic? No! That was trying to keep it like a comic ad I have a bunch of guys on It's just us sitting down He happens sometimes it's hilarious Sometimes it's 10 no topics No directions

I love doing it Way both sides of the coin That's not what a host does You want a partner? 10 no topics no directions. I love doing it The coin Want to do you think my podcast is popular? I might affect somebody's life. You never know Yeah, there we go. Bam, bam, bam, bam. And we're live. The right cast studio is above the beautiful comedy seller,

world famous comedy seller, McDougal Street 117 by the fucka. And if you're mailing something to the studio, the address is... 117 McDougal Street, 1-0-0-2-1. Oh, just passed the test. I'm excited. He's been here for four years. It's the first time he ever got it right. And I knew he was gonna get it right

because he was smiling. Oh, I knew it. He was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Have we got anything? I think some of the things had the grave sent in the... Oh, had the grave? Yeah, she sent in these awesome cups, except for the fucking Patriots one. Clock suckers.

Clock! Fucking suckers! You won one last year, relax. The sucka dick, we should have won one this year. I won every year. Yeah, we could have. If fucking the stupid giants weren't lucky. Yeah, okay.

What happened? Now it's Carolina. That's it. It's done, right? Pretty right? I don't know how the car line is gonna destroy him. How does it sound? Which is the sound? Sounds good. Sounds good. Sounds fun. Okay great. All right, let's fucking... let's get through this. Well, here's the deal. I just got back from vacation.

Well, no, it wasn't vacation. I was gigging. I mean, on the road from months now, doing my shows and my wife, I was going to Naples and my wife said, Oh, I think we'll go to Naples. We'll go to Naples. Yeah, she's Jewish. She's Jewish. No, she's not, but that's what she sounds like.

All right. The original plan, we'll go to Naples and then you're going to Sarasota Springs, so we'll spend three days and then we'll go to Sarasota. I was like, nah, not happening. I go, he's too. I'm not fucking wasting. He's not gonna remember.

He's a full-grand on fucking Mickey Mouse that he'll, he's gonna like, you know, fucking Paw Patrol next week. It's not happening. She comes down, it was fucking the straight. Most stressful thing I've ever done in my life. Was flying? No, flying, breathing, eating, fucking... It was fucking the strip most stressful thing I've ever done in my life Was flying no flying Breathing eating fucking

Yeah, cuz you got a tote around bags everywhere you go and then you got to do shows at night when you got all this Chirping in your air and you're on the road you got a block all that out fucking send my wife was a You described it You get the do comedy now. I just don't like you saying it. Because you're like a moron shaped me. And it's like, that's like, I don't like one of the guys who goes, how's your wife? I heard Bobby's been complaining about you. Yeah, I don't like that.

Everything go right on the home front. You'll never come to one. I'll never come to a barber kid. No way. How long have you been married? How long have I been married? Oh God, that's a fucking nine years. Nine years. Nine years. Do you still have sex a good amount?

I'm sorry. Who are you? That was quick. Can you please leave? I need you to leave It's the third girl from guys we fuck I let's just get go around the room. I'm gonna answer that question in a second. You fucking weird We're my right. It's gonna be Sean Donnelly. He's on his way from a big audition. Yeah, and then Ben's pizza Not getting spino plumber somewhere Then we have Aaron Berg back again. Welcome Aaron. Thank you for calling me this morning when we were both asleep No problem. I know why do we have Aaron on a lot? I mean, he's fucking, we have a lot of light.

I tried to have him on a couple of times and he couldn't make it. I tried. Yeah, I tried. I call him a few times. He brought me this fucking... Cicino plat. All right, let me get in there.

Right, Jesus, you fucking hellful male. All right. What is it? Cicino plat. No problem. He brought me this beautiful cigar. Yeah. It's a Davidov, correct?

That's a Zeno. A Dazeno. Yeah, okay. Did their own line, the fantastic.'s a Zeno. Oh, Zeno. Yeah. Okay. They're their own line. The fantastic. Have you smoked one of these before? I think I have. You know, like it. This one draws doesn't draw as easy as the Connecticut rap that I had, but this is a really nice smoke. We talked about the Cubans. I got you. Oh, yeah. Fucking fake. Well, yeah, she goes to Mexico. Yeah. She comes back. She goes, I got you Cubans. I'm like, oh, great. She goes, they didn't even make me pay for them.

It's a fucking box, a beautiful box. In glass Cubans. I'm like, you didn't pay, would you fucking blow nine Mexicans to this? These are expensive cigars. Anyway, you got it. Oh, no, they just gave them to me. I just kept petternum with fucking City Talk. Yeah, Romeo and Juliet. City Talk. And I brought him to my guy up at my cigar place. Yeah, love it easy. My wife calls it fucking cigar masters. Yeah. Which annoys me, it's not cigar masters.

Cigarri Public, and they literally just in 10 seconds, CSI, the whole bug, yeah. Yeah, there's only fucking eight numbers on the serial number. It the whole by now. Yeah, there's only fucking eight numbers on the serial number It should be fucking 20. Yeah, something and the the the caps on them were like you could what are they knock off? Cohi bus, but were they they were No, they were cohesion H up man. No cohe So counter she was right, but she was wrong. Yeah, there's an H in that somewhere. Yeah, there's an H

But cigar That was terrible. The worst fucking smoke one. No, I know what I want to do. One day I want to fucking light them up with, you know, bring them all light them up and smoke them. Talk about how shitty they are while we all get headaches. Yeah, you know, they're all fucking like, you know, fingernails, Mexican, but so yeah, Aaron's here, who is a cigar buddy. This is my, uh, my joint hat. No, good, uh, good stick, good stick is, uh, uh, a friend of my Yuri, uh, up there at,

uh, cigar republic. This is his Instagram account with a review of cigars, smoked cigars. That's the worst cigar logo though. I know. Deepu actually said it looks like a vibrator that's on fire Just a vibrator that was used in a fucking college dorm room Yeah, I told them to square it off

Yeah, put a little red at the end of it make it bigger. It looks a little vibratory, right? a little bit Yeah, I don't know if they need the merch. I mean, I think they could just mention the place. There's some places that go without merch. I mean, I like the logo. Yeah. I'm never seen this terrible logo for C-R. Come on, I know.

I know it's a Gar. It looks more like a joint. It looks a joint. It looks like a little joint. It looks like a little ham tampon. So how would they fix this? They square it off, redo the whole thing. Yeah. It looks more like a joint. It looks a joint, yeah. It looks like a joint. It looks like a joint, yeah. It looks like a tampon. So how would they fix this? They square it off, redo the whole thing.

Yeah. Make it look like more of a box press cigar than just, yeah, that looks like a ghost cock. It should be. They gotta cut it out. They definitely gotta deal in these hats too. I think I can get it in a guy. It's nice to get a wearer.

I mean, if you turn it upside down, it does. It looks like a jizzing. Yeah. Just looks like a ghost cock jizzing. It's sad just, just no spray to it, just dropping out. I haven't wear it this way. Yeah, that's better. That's actually, all right.

It's a nice, it's a flex fit hat, right? So you can wear it when you do cardio. Nobody goes to motos. Yeah. So anyway, so all right, who else we can get here? Alright, it's a nice it's a flex fit hat, right? So you can wear it. You can wear it when you do cardio So anyway, so who else we got great stones out the first time on the show Lewis when no one listened yeah, why are you lost episode? Why wearing a magician's jacket? You were an expected Dude dead dogs drop out just follow Focusing too much on my standup

Fun you say that because I had a meltdown putting this on John fish gave us to me and he goes here where this I go I'm never fucking wear that today. It's the last thing. It's warm. I put it on a go. I think a fucking asshole It's the first thing you said to me. I tore it up. No, you look good. It looks good, dude. I like it. I'm not really, I'm not sure it's like a fake leather. It's like I can't afford a leather jacket.

I like it. I think I have a similar jacket on. Oh, yeah. I'm talking about that. I'm also from New Jersey and we both have kidney stones. There you go. Oh, that's funny. That we're going to talk about that,

but she has kidney stones for the last week and a half. That's horrible. And when she passes it, we get it. The studio gets it. I'm gonna make a necklace out of my stones. Yeah, she's gonna make it. Oh, that's great. And if you tell a really bad joke,

you have to wear the kidney stone. We're getting rid of the big dead. I was gonna put it on a ring and propose to my girlfriend. Oh, that's what I was gonna do. Was it that big? No, I couldn't find it. We don't know, it's still in me to think.

Oh, really? Yeah, three millimeters was mine. How was it big? No, I couldn't find it. We don't know, it's still in me, they think. Oh really? Yeah, three millimeters was mine. How was big was yours? I'd be a four millimeter. Oh, geez. It's big boy. What does that feel like? Does it burn?

What is it? Like the worst pain you could ever go through, it's worse than birth, it's worse than hell's earth. Yes, yes. Yes, it's like this is the most amount of pain you'll ever experience in your whole fucking life. And I was like, fuck you, get me more f fiend and they can't do anything that you just have to pee it out. There's a bunch of things they do they do with those trips I worked in ER

two for five years. I had a bunch of shit yeah with the trip scene which is like a fucking laser bath. I used skim over I worked in ERO for four years now I'm doing comedy. Yeah. What fucking nervous breakdown is you now. Now my mom got me. I need a magic coat. My mom was like, you're never gonna make it in comedy. Come work in his hospital. Ah! Work in the hospital.

Why is your mom filling that seat? He's an asshole. Look at that jacket. He just does what he's told. He's not a fucking leader. Literally, the hospital is like they saw patch atoms and they're like, you're a comedian. Come that here and it was really yeah I don't read no easy shit no they just want to me to talk to patients and make sure they

knew what was happening what do you mean like mr. girlfriend doing crowd work pretend Aaron is a cancer patient with muscles yeah what would you say to him look at Aaron I'd be like yeah man and whatever you want to talk about man whatever, whatever, what's up, what's up with pussy? I don't know. I don't know what I would say. What the hell? I got a fire for me. I fed a dead person. I don't know. I'm the real. I'm the real.

You wouldn't just, you wouldn't try to be funny. You'd just be jovial to these people. No, to be honest, it was all based on charisma. It was just like, my job was a doctor would come see you, and you'd have to do something, and I'd go in. And say you're dying? No, like they'd come in, well that was most of my job, was when someone would, it was very depressing. When someone would die, I would walk in, I would sit with them and I would talk with them

and I'd hold their hand, cause the doctor's gonna have time to do that. Wow. And yeah, I mean, I saw some crazy shit, man. Did this pay well? It pays better than comedy. Yeah. It made like 16 bucks an hour.

That doesn't seem like a lot to go console people. Way to comfort dying people's men. No, but it was like, it was the greatest thing in the world. I mean, I, uh, you don't make 16 bucks an hour, do you want comedy? I make about, I make about nine bucks. Maybe you love them now, right? I'm getting free clothes from junk fish. I'm not, we're gonna give you a gift today.

Yeah. We always give give you a gift today. We always give people gifts. We can give the Star Trek things over there. Oh, that's a from my kid, you fucker. Why are you ever gonna give it a max? When he's old enough to go dude, I'm not gonna open this and fuck it up, and hang it up and save it.

And then when toy hunters comes around, we'll fuck it up and sell it for around $400. When his dad needs it. That's gonna be worth something. You can tell by just looking at it. No, it. That's gonna be worth something, you can tell, but just looking at it. No, it should be, I'm actually, what do you think your collector?

I hang up, before the T.I. You're too interested in your fucking stay on you. I apologize. Jesus Christ, he's fucking fascinating. Yeah, I should have, I hope you have some fucking ERs or terrible mother. No, but I have some shit. Who else do we got, small ball?

This is Kate Wolf. Kate Wolf. Very funny, very funny, very This is Kate Wolf. Kate Wolf. You're a very funny community. Very funny community. What's up, Kate? Nothing. I brought my tarot cards.

I'm a tarot card reader. Oh, God. This is going to be really. Yeah, really. She read mine a few weeks ago. Did the dumb card just keep coming up? No. She just said I'm not going to make it.

She said you're not going to make it? No, I did not. No, you did. I said we're spending a lot more time at your parents house Chris You should move to a southern state I don't think I've ever read yours though I mean I would do it for on a goof but I don't I wouldn't put much trust into that really

Yeah, would you I tell you you would if it would. If it's said some good shit about you, you'd be like, this is great. I didn't believe it. If it's said you're gonna make it in six months, something great in your career is gonna happen. I mean, everything's gravy to me. I have a great life. If everything, look at it,

I'm doing what I wanna do. I'm here with great people. Everything's gravy to me. Whatever, what's gonna change? Someone's reading the night. I'll tell you what's gonna change. You're a fucking mood swing. I'm gonna change.'s gonna change you a fucking mood swing

Later tonight when the crowd fucking Yeah, I had you in the first time you were here. I thought you're gonna murder everybody Yeah, but that but I came on the first time I was on I just gotten somers and quit smoking cigarettes right like two weeks before I didn't know that. You didn't open up about that. You did, you told me he wasn't going to do it, don't do it. What about you told him to stop? Yeah, you were like, don't do both at the same time. Get an e-sigarette or something, you're going to be fucking intolerable to be around.

No shit, you were. I was, you were. Fucking a scariest show I've ever done. It's just like a fucking, an angry me looking back at were. I was. You were. I was fucking the scariest show I've ever done. Yeah. It's just like a fucking, an angry me looking back at me. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, it was fucking crazy. Yeah, I wasn't funny that way.

Now, I get a book, you like, I get a book. I got a fucking book, you want it? Yeah, what was the book on? It was Mr. Manners, proper etiquette, modern degenerate. Yeah, you have fucking great manners. Just scary about everybody to fucking. Yeah, it was bad. It was bad.

It was bad. Shut got nothing it was bad Shut up. It was bad. I won cold turkey on both of those so it would didn't and you're a comedian and you're a comedian and you're a comedian and Depos a comedian Lauren would like to be a comedian and scopos here No, I'm kidding. We also have Steve, a fan of the show. Steve! Oh, here's that. Can we call him random Steve?

Yeah. It's tough. Literally, he walked up to me on the street, and I was like, I almost went, I got no change. Yeah, I look at him. He looks fresh out of recovery, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. He looks like he played baseball when he was,

and then it just all fell apart as a cocaine and pussy Torres ACL one year that was it Take the mic out of you fucking lunatic yeah, yeah Started listening to the real-ass podcast Oh my unite what's up? I knew I was welcome to lines then here, so yeah, no, it's alright dude. What do you do brother? I'm a union labor actually. Oh really? What are you recovery are you recovery? Are you in recovery? I nailed it. All right. I came. I came Satan horns

Bobby's a meetings all listen to Metallica. I uh that's good man. How long you been sober? Six years. Congratulations. One day at a time baby. Now what what do you do in the union? We install gas mains, actually. So we work out in the streets in Brooklyn and Queens. No shit. Yep. All right. Well, I'm going to teach you something. Hold that mic to your mouth so we can hear you. Is that better? That's so much better. I'm not a pro. I know. Just pretend it was how you used to earn Harrow in. No, I's fucking saliva on the mic. Oh

You guys are getting closer You what do you need to do harrowing? What was the drugs coke? No, it was opiates. Oh really? Yeah fucking wow that takes America by storm that oxy-continuous Why here's a deal you have a kidney stone, right? Yeah. All right. Okay. Oh, you're talking about it.

Oh. She's crazy. It's a ball. It feels like someone's murder and you could contest. It's like someone's stabbing in the stomach over and over and over. You can't fucking move. My eyes are rolling to the back of my head.

And then the pain just fucking goes away. Like it was never there. Really? It rolling to the back of my head, and then the pain just fucking goes away. Like it was never there. Really? It's that bad. Oh my god, awful. And let me ask you a question. The drugs they put you on, if you didn't take them, like, I don't take drugs, unless I have to. Like my knee, I didn't take them,

and then I had to. It was so bad. Yeah, no, I had to take them. Yeah, it's like, I was blacking out. Yeah. I got four root canals done, and didn't take any meds. Wow. Cheers was black. I was blacking out. Yeah. I got four root canals done and didn't take any mess. Geez. Geez. That was a wrong just.

Yeah. I should have took them. I was just, I tried, I hung in there. I actually wound up wrapping a towel around my neck and just drooling for three days. It hurt so bad. Yeah. So. But they make me nauseous.

So then I puke from the pain killers and then I'm just fucking peeing and puke in and you have to filter your piss, right? Can I see it? You brought your piss or piss? No, I haven't used it yet. So it's claiming. Well, you got a way better strainer than me. Oh really? It's a strainer with a picture of scopos face. They had to give you an extra large one for your large box. I'm actually such a cut on her for a giant all- Well, so I pee all over it. But yeah, I see it.

You piss in that. You've got, you've got to use that. It's been great for a magician. You'd be like, oh, no. And then it's just gone. You see, you have to, you have to, you have to, I haven't been being that. I've been peeing in a bucket in my toilet.

Wait, how do you know, oh, so then you got to scoop it out? Because then I got to scoop it out and filter it. Like an old lady, V.O. husband. I scoop, but I'm gonna scoop it out and filter it like an old lady view my husband I've been I would fucking leave my wife I can't miss just piss in an bucket. I'd be like I gotta go Yeah, I'd go somewhere so this never Sparrow kiss the fucking heavy girl piss That's like it's really like thick and dark. Is it really?

Yeah. It's like honey. Yeah. Yeah. Really? So when it actually passes, we get to keep it. It was all blood. I was being, oh, Jesus.

Yeah. Should we have kidney stones? I hope so. OK. It's my first period. So you know what my mom was like, I think, are you pregnant? You're going in premature labor, and you don't know you're pregnant.

I'm like, no. I'm like no Actually, that's called a miscarriage I think You have to be funny if you just shot a baby army that That chick that gives birth to a baby If it is what it is one of those we get to keep that I we own anything that comes out of you over there. Miss Carajun and necklace.

A little muggy. And then take a picture of it, send it to the cigar guys. And get them to make that their new logo. Come on, too far. Don't talk about my dead baby. Sorry. A boy. And you had kidney stones.

Yeah, it's my second time. And ask him what your dick hole, which I think is a little rougher. I think it's worse Yeah, yeah, I passed one once in a hot tub on the road with Dan Soner. How do you know that it his foot? I had a I was sitting the fucking hot tub stop working I was in this hot and then dandy the voice is something I knew the symptoms because I worked in this ER. So it was like, ah, this right dullness pain. That was like, I was in pain the whole time.

I was like, fuck it. You think your appendix explodes? Yeah, I thought it was my appendix. It was like, it was whatever. So I was like, can you start telling yourself quips? Not that, because then you mean, wow, it's right here. I was thinking it was in the hot tub with these, I was like, four 50 year old black women all over

weight, all classic. Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, Okay. You're in a hot tub on the road with Dan Soda for blood. He was with four 50 year old black women. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was, he can sign it was like I can see no thing. So it was like an everybody hot tub.

And I in my head, I was like, I'm going to just sit in the hot tub, let the thing hit my stomach. This will be, this will be relieving. Then all of a sudden, I just feel this pain that feels like a knife ripping from my side straight through to my penis. And it just goes, and I'm just like, and these black girls go, what the fuck happened? They thought I was possessed. The devil got him. The devil got him. They're screaming. I get them all sent just feeling of relief. And they were like, what happened with you, man? They said some shit. And I was like, did it float to the top?

You have a thick year reader. And it was able to go through the, I know everything. She knows about big things. And it was able to pass through the year. But I guess mine's pretty tight because it's not moving. So you actually pissed that out in my tub. Yeah, this was one that I didn't have, I just knew this in the symptoms symptoms and now that I had the second I would love it if it was stuck back in the black lady's leg Yeah, and this one it was just like I had the pain I woke up and the next thing I'm Paralyzed I had to call an ambulance they brought me I was on the laud it which is like this

Yeah, that's what I was on more than that. Yeah, I take that over next to each other. It's hurting my neck Yeah, fuck you up like 15 minutes after you take it, I'm like, yeah, I mean, I'm in such pain that I don't even feel high. That's how much pain you're in. Is it, I just felt normal on the heaviest medication. Right. You gotta be careful coming off of that shit too. You can't just stop using it.

Cause I was on viking in for my knees. And I, cause I'm recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I was like, I'm done. I can take it, I'm good. And I just shut the fucking Viking in down. I got one into the DTs. I was shaking, cold sweats. I was like, I was gonna die.

I didn't know what the fuck I did. You're supposed to like slowly gradually get off of that. You're supposed to be only on it in the ER. So it's like they give you what you want. Like if you're taking it every day, you're gonna go in through the IV. through the IV like that's a torrid all There's three of us in the room we're all gonna fucking be Suck in each other's cocks

Selling the fucking star track with it. I mean, that you're tarot cards. I want to make my own deck just filled with really funny weird shit like that. You should. Yeah. I really want you to read Scopus in front of us. I just want to see what I want to know. Let's go.

I want to know where his future holds. Either you have to fucking work harder here or leave. The way I read though, I don't really read where I'm like predicting the future. It's more like I dig into your emotional issues that you're not facing. I know you're a fucking fraud. We get it. No, it's a different kind of reading, but like I can I can fuck you up in a different way. But I saw Kate the other night and she told me this weird thing like she'd said on stage where she said you went to see somebody. I don't know if I'm talking out of school here. You went to see somebody

and they told you that you were in an emotional washing machine or something. Oh no, that's my, so I have a therapist slash a spiritual healer person and she told me I was in the cosmic washing. Cosmic washing. Do you pay her in wine and cheeses? I've been to mediums and mediums. I don't accept money.

I will accept cheese, chakutari, and a rosé. I'm not kidding you, I'm gonna do that. This is a nice girl. She sees me for free. Really? Because I'm pretty poor right now. No, I've been to a couple and I've been fucked up for weeks. Walk around like I can't fucking do this anymore because it fucks with your head.

Well, there are some good, you know, tarot tarot card readers psychics and there's some bullshit ones and that and the worst is when they actually can tap into something but they're not a healed person because then they can tap into your truth but put in their own shit right and then you're really fucked up right so you have to really feel if someone's a fraud or not yeah you have your cards on you of course I always have a moment There he is. Hey, who there's a burst water main in here. What's up, Donnelly? Where were you? You're sitting right there, baby. Sit there next to me. We got you right there. What's up folks? Hey, buddy. You know everybody,

right? Can I have a, can I see that coat for a second, please? Why, you want it? What are you going to do? Don't chuck it. What are you doing do? Don't chuck it. Don't chuck it. Sean Donnelly's on the hook. How do you have your own Coke? Also, why is it still Christmas Cokes? In January. What the fuck is that, man? I hold it up to your head for a minute.

I'm dragging off Coke in my life so they make a signature series down on the Coke. Hold that up to your face for me. Where is it? Right next to it. Right here. What if I do the angle he's doing? Well, dude, you should be a Santa Claus. I wasn't Santa the face for me. Right next to it, right here, it's right here. How about you, the angle he's doing? Well, dude, you should be a Santa Claus. I wasn't Santa Claus this year. Where are you really?

Where? It's for like my mom's friends grandkids. Really, helping with that cord. We help the fucking guests. You fucking shitty producer. He just sits down and wants to get back into the conversation. I'm fucking having a hard time. He had a problem with the headphone.

Well, watch him, make sure he's all right. Yeah, fucking ass. I have a learning disability help me Chris No you know who does oh Can you fucking choose another fucking path for Chris? She know I believe a Chris listen if I give you 500 We fucking yeah, wow She charges Chris's path because she is a psychic terror crowd Person she she knows the she can she can be terrible.. Do you know that no, I didn't know that really do you do believe in tarot?

Well, I used to have a lot of respect for Kate now The window is it how you understand is it tarot or tarot? I call I say tarot But I could be saying a wrong. I say tarot. Well, shouldn't you know I said tarot, but I have no idea I feel like most of us pronounced the wrong words even when we think we're right. Well, I do because I'm fucking retard I'm really I'm not very articulate Wow, I thought I was playing Rummy and then Chris was sitting in front of me and I said this is your future Did you get your card read? No, no, yeah, we're gonna do that. Oh cool. I'm sorry. I missed out on that By the way, I had to get my your rethrush stretched

I'm sorry, where did you get a fucking way I had to get my your rethrush stretched I'm sorry where did you get a truck in my room? Is that is that how you read tarot cards? Wait so you wouldn't get me that? Stop doing black night. I was getting that. You know you can do a bringer show instead. I can four minutes at the Apollo. Fuck I'll try to get you on a front-ass TV.

How did you get your things stretched? I kept getting your nerdy track infections all the time. Yeah, stop banging. No, it was my body's way of telling me to stop fucking toxic people or dating them or marrying them, whatever. Well, toxic people as the penis toxic or energy toxic. I think it's all of it. No, they're energy, but I think, yeah, no energy. I think they're penis-

Can I ask you a question? Were you banging guys with somebody having sex with our rubbers? Because that's where, isn't that where a yeast, what is it called? No, a UTI. Does your band use too many times in a row? That can get it to. No, you can get a G have sex too many times but a normal vagina could take it, mine I'll just break. Your vagina is not sensitive.

What the fuck are you talking about? You can do this whole room and they'll get lunch and come back in. So there's a pill that you could take after sex that you'll never get a U.T. Kind of silly. Really? Yeah, yeah. What is it? You gotta go to the neurologist together. The fuck says you'll never get a UTI. Kind of silly. Really? Yeah, yeah. What is that? You gotta go to the neurologist together. The fuck says you will work.

Just as fucking a whole up hill. Hey, if you never want to get a UTI from fucking too much dick, take this pill. I'll give you another pill. In case you get a baby, you can kill it the next day. Hey, I'm Vinny Barbarino. What the fuck? There's a pill? Yeah, I'll give you my guy's number.

Look at me, look at me. He's a pill. How about- No, she got it. I got it. I got it. You told the guy. I mean, I wasn't, I'm not very like a promiscuous person.

It would be the same person, but- Right. I got a guy, don't worry. She was back in the day. Yeah, she fucked him up, called the sack, called the sack. And first. She blew an ice cream man for kids. And up, called the sack, called the sack. Half his hair is on. She blew an ice cream man for kids.

And Bobby, comics don't use condoms anymore. No comics use condoms anymore. What are you fucking checking for? I'm pretty sure. He's there, I was a big condom guy for years, and then you're like, once you pass like 30, 35, you're like, eh, AIDS is a myth. And you just start fucking.

But it's, what is this agenda you're pushing? Yeah, what are you trying to do? You're trying to fuck somebody in here? What I'm saying, Kate, is unclean. Are you trying to lobby us? Let's admit. Did you use condoms? What do you use to fuck when you were young?

Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was not started using cons like I married I didn't want to give her what I had Don't use condoms I don't use condoms anymore, but I'm in a more relationship. Yeah, no The past few years I read an article. They were like yeah, everybody has her piece Yeah, that point I'd be like yeah, I wear a condom that was your diary everybody has I think everybody has herpes. Yeah, at that point. I'd be like, yeah, I wear a condom. That was your diary.

Everybody has, I think everybody has a form of something, has some fucked up shit because we, yeah, we shit, I don't think we should be banging without condoms, but it's, let me tell you something, dude. When you fucking kiss in and then suck in and then flick in and then mush in, and then you get comes out. I'm hoping.

I don't know any of the things. I don't know. Yeah, no. You should write fucking jingles. Jingles. and then you get comes out open. I don't know, and the right. What else? You should write fucking jingles. Jingles. Yeah. You just read his character. And watch the second.

I like the motion imagery. Like, oh, come on, it's going to get there. Oh, OK. It's a little fucking push. I thought the motion was like this. No, the motion's when you get in there like this and you get the, not just one or two, you get the all and you're moush it

Like you do an Italian show money Sturfed the honey pot. Yeah, you mush that Indians that want food We try to tuck it all back in and then moush it out I've got four fingers inside a whip Yeah, I took the this is gonna you T.I cuz I took the stairs at a shitty hotel Yeah, I took a handrail the real it really I like to finger my chicks after I hold the fucking rail on the subway I just shook hands with fucking 200 of my fans Those fingers in your pussy and you wonder why you have to piss into a stranger.

I'm trying to finger condoms. Yeah. I know. I think a finger for a woman is dirty. Does that, that would affect a woman too. Like a dirty finger? Yeah, it just sucks having a vagina really. It just takes in all the shit.

It's all the way. Whatever, yeah. What about the miracle of life? How about that? That sucks too. I'm a mom, you know. Are you a mom? Yeah. You have a kid? Yeah, he's nine. Oh my god. Are you kidding me? How old are you? I'm 34. Fuck you! Really? No. His name is Tarot. Where?

Where was a girl with a Tarot? What's up? Do you have a fucking nine year old. The kid's adorable, right? He's adorable, yeah. He's way more mature and grounded than I am. He's kept it real quick. Can you put her mic on her mouth please?

Just, just, just, don't question it. But Kate looks phenomenal, right, for having a kid 34. You really do look great. We got it. I appreciate it. She did. I appreciate it. She did. Well, I really do look great. We got it. Thanks. She I'm pretty sure of all the worries Um, well I got knocked up young got my body back and now who knocked you up? I'm sure my ex husband, but we weren't married. We were dating five months You kept it you asshole

No He's looking at me like you're right You know the words when you meet a chick five months in that you I'm gonna keep it He's the one that really wanted me to keep it when we our first date we got into a fight about abortion and he was very pro life Really for five months. He was like so if you ever got pregnant Would you have an abortion? I was like, no, no. And then you were like intimidated. Oh my God.

Yeah. Scared you to having your kid. But thank God, Mike was saved me. I got to be honest with you. And my own personal life, I'm the same way where my own situation, I wouldn't want somebody to have an abortion. I know a lot. In my life, yeah, I would try to convince them not to.

So I understand where he's coming from. Yeah. I wouldn't like pressure somebody into it. You never took out a kid. I assassinated kids. I have assassinated. You've never taken it. I did.

I did. No, I know. I don't have a couple of pregnancy scares, not actual births. Really? You know, or semi births. One of my first girlfriends, we had to take out the, we had to take them out. Take them out. Take them out.

Take them out. He doesn't have a baby mafia. What do you mean take him out? My my ex had been through something before where the girl had a really late term abortion so he was really fucked up from it So he was oh Flying when he did it Oh shit, that's late Really just him with a shovel waiting in the delivery room

Ah punk the first grade and gets fucking Is it the plumber? fucking his rear naked 80 second trimester abortion With the really the kid was 12. I really give you credit you night. Okay. Here you are Your young girl you get pregnant five months. Is he still around this guy? Yeah, so we're obviously not married anymore, but we have joint custody 50 50. I started a comedy after I had a kid and now that's a fucking. Let me tell you something That's a feat because most people in comics we're married and in love with comedy We avoid relationships we avoid responsibility other than doing gigs, getting better and

Getting moving forward in this fucking business for years. It took me everything I had to move in with a girl. It took even more to Marry her and even more. It was so much to go, okay, I'm gonna come in you and let it leave it. And now, to have, I love my kid, I love my life, but it takes a lot, even to this day, we were away in Naples this weekend, and it took a lot to be there,

because I go on the road, it's my life, I have the certain things I do, I do radio here, I go back and take a nap, I'll fucking maybe go on the road, it's my life, I have the certain things I do, I do radio here, I go back and take a nap, I'll fucking maybe go to the gym, go to a cigar place, write my jokes, do the show, after the show, cigar, whatever, back to the room, get some sleep. With the family, it's a fucking 730, da, da, da, breakfast, walk. Fucking zoo, museum, movie, lunch, nap, fucking ice cream. You know, it's a lot of shit, so for you to do that, and then say, fucking, I'm going into comedy, is pretty crazy.

Yeah, kind of, it's made my life, though, I think, because I was a teacher and my soul was dying, so it was nice to at least find something that made me happy. Yeah. Well, that's weird to say, because I feel like teachers one of those jobs that should be fulfilling to your soul.

Yeah. I hate it. I was like helping these kids and sput up. That's a job and a quick call me to do. Yeah. Has anybody made fun of Greg's fucking Ricky Villas hat that he's wearing? I made my heart beat.

I made my heart beat. I trapped his magician wearing. I mean, I'm actually... I trapped his magician jacket. I'm taking off you fucking idiot. I didn't want to go to the fucking David Blaine hat. I was saving it. That's pretty amazing. Now, you have this baby. You guys decide, look, we're not gonna be together.

I left. After two years. Right? I left. After two years. Why? We were fighting a lot. And he was saying some stuff that I had a problem with. He thought it was normal to talk to people like that. Your tarot cards are worthless.

I didn't read it. You know, the giant is always sick. It was always sick with him. David, fans, it appealed to stop you, D.I.s. Look it up. No. My vagina was always hiss-hand. David Vandenabeele to stop you, D.I.s. Look it up. My vagina was always hissing at him. My vagina was pissed off in that marriage.

Was he fucking around? Okay, was he fucking around, you bet? Not that I know of, but he wanted me to have three sums, and even though it was pregnant, he wanted me to have three sums. Hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So apparently the fucking keeping the baby wasn't religious,

because I think in the Bible, you're not supposed to fuck out the people too, right? No, it wasn't religious. It was it was just I don't know. It was a morality thing But he thinks you know there's nothing and listen if you want to go have three So I'm do your thing but if your partner says I'm not into it shut the fuck up like drop it. Yeah. Yeah, you don't just walk Aaron. You're so excited from that. He turned that turned him on. Yeah, you want to have three? Oh, I'm dying to Not miss anybody. I've had them. It's annoying with the wife. No, oh That's what I want to do with my wife with my not your wife

Bobby wins this barbecue I brought a little supper said My wife would be if I looked like you I brought a little supper set up. You guys in. I'm excited to be my wife and wife if I look like you. You used to look like me. Shut up, I'm getting back. I'm getting back.

We're just fucking juicing in front of me. You look great. Shut up. I don't look great. Fuck you and your media is better. You look great. I'd love to do it. You look like you lost weight, to be honest.

I did. Yeah. You could see it in your face. I hate you. What you see it in your face? I trust fucking my fat friend. I don't trust you. I don't jump in on that bandwagon.

He doesn't know. He's not gonna lie. I know. There can be lighting on that side. I accurately know. I can tell your body mass index from sitting here. Yeah. If he's hosting a cellar and he brings me up,

we have to do a fat guy dance. So one of us doesn't go out to dance. It's like, it's like, it's like movie a couch out of an apartment. I swear to God, we have to go belly button to belly button and turn. And shift and shift. Like the sun going around the other room.

You could get the door man to clear the front row right before you do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a hard time going up at the regular seller stage because of the piano. I have to go. Well, I wait to go to the piano. Every time Keith Robinson hosts, he, yeah, I have I have a hard time going up at the regular seller stage because of the piano I have to go to the piano every time Keith Robinson hosted he always goes all right We bring up the exact act do me favor. Can you move the table? He makes the fucking

Four tables in the front row move back And they're like what the food it literally takes around a minute and a half You should get all of a sudden and then he goes all right good good good As soon as I walk in they all laugh and I'm like you But it literally takes around a minute and a half to get all of a sudden, and then he goes, all right, good, good, good. As soon as I walk in, they all laugh, and I'm like, you motherfuckin' and it all makes sense. I'm the punchline.

I'm gonna fluck an asshole. He is a piece of shit. So, Amy Sheerammer has this video of him that she got off of the video camera of him going to host and he falls, going by the way. I've seen that in a cell phone. Every once in a while, she'll send a text to me that she got off of the video camera of him going to host and he falls going down the stage. That's amazing, Evan, it's so funny. Every once in a while, she'll send a text to me

on Quaid Geek with that video and it's never not fun. Someone put it on their Instagram, I show that, yeah. Never not funny, every time I see it, I laugh for it. Just see a fucking out of shot. All right, so back to you and you're crazy vagina. So you have this beautiful baby. What's the baby's name? His name is Shane.

Shane, good name. And is the guy black? No. I thought the same thing. I thought the same thing. I thought the same thing. I thought it was Bob. No, my girlfriend named her baby Shane and she's Irish.

Oh no, just like that. If he was black, is it an Irish? I think Shane's an Irish name. Yeah. I thought so. If he was black, it would be Sean A. Shane's an Irish name. Yeah, I thought so. If he was black It would be Sean A. That's the name of that. Is that your best? I just think of that. I think of that movie with the Wayne brother. What's his name? The Shane the damn shame James low down. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Anyways, I digress. So you have this baby, it comes out, it's healthy. It comes out. You stay together.

It just cocks. Toxic. Toxic, toxic vagina. Now how the fuck do you have a family here? How do you work with the baby? He leaves, now you're on your own. He doesn't leave, right? Because he was invested in being a dad,

so we immediately did half half, and that's how I was able to start living live together. No, back and forth, Shane went back and forth, joint custody. And then I saw a comedy, like, two years later. After this weekend, it enables with my wife. I'm thinking of divorcing her, so I want to know. This is... Center this podcast, I tell you, let me know. Does it, does it, I'm gonna be granted if I dumped her on the, on the,

on the YKW dude. And then it's right at the end, by the way, goodbye. Yeah. You keep the house, by the way, goodbye. Yeah. Keep the house. I'm moving in with Joe List. My roommate, move in with me. Yo, house. Yeah.

Um, I'm excited. You know what I'm excited about. Yeah. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited.

I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I think we've video games with somebody now with Jay the guy who works the airport So So you have this kid he most now you go for a couple years But oh is it is it does it work as well as does joint custody fuck the kid up? I don't think I think it'd be more fucked up for him to be an environment where both parents hate each other and are fighting I think that's a way worse. I mean, I know that's the case. I get that, of course.

But, is it, does it fuck him up too? I think most kids are gonna end up fucked up because most of the world's kind of fucked up right now. But it adds to the question. No, I don't think, I'm not trying to pressure you into something because I've asked this a bunch of times and they always say, well, be more fucked up if he lived because we hated each other.

I would agree with that. But is he sad? Does he? I guess my question is, how do you deal with him fucking missing dad or missing you or does it fuck you? I try to be as cool as I, my parents, no, well, this is what I mean. My parents were fucked up.

Like, they were divorced and they badmouth each other. I try to be as cool by looking at them and not being like that. So he says to me, no, if he says to me, I miss dad. Sometimes they get a little jealous. I'm like, you're with me and you miss it. You know, it hurts my feelings. And I'm like, don't make this. This isn't about you.

Let it, you know, call your dad. I know you miss him. So I try to be, I'm very, I'm very sensitive. I'm into all this stuff. So that's good. I try to talk to him about it and not take it personally. So his dad's a good dad. He's a great dad. Just done not a good husband. Not a good person. I didn't feel like he's a good husband. To be honest with you, but I try not to bad mouth him

actually too much either because that's my son's dad and I try to remember. I'm hurting my son if I do that. Well, you're not bad. But look, man, I think that's great that he has two parents to give a shit and you guys try to get along. Yeah. Yeah. Because if you were married, let me tell you something. I'm married. I'm happily married. It's still try to get along. Yeah. Because if you were married, let me tell you something, I'm married, I'm happily married. It's still tough to get along. It's still hard to fucking be together. Being married is a really difficult thing. It is.

It doesn't mean I don't like my wife, it doesn't mean she's an asshole, I'm an asshole, we're both fucking human beings. And it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. Look, man, I look back, being single and being lonely sucked. Because when it rained, it poured. But when it didn't, you were fucking just depressed lonely eating, you know, fucking ramen noodles at four in the morning, playing Xbox.

It's the worst when you get sick in your alone and you're like, no one's there to even get you super, though. For me, that's where I'm like, I hate lies. I want to get married, so when I die, there's someone to call and be like, my husband's dead, can you come? Your Canadian get out This close to be an American now I'll be able to vote in the next election Not this the next election. Whoa! Not this one. The next one.

Thank God it's not this one. Who the fuck you vote for on this one? Who would you vote for on this one? Ah, Trump. You're a drunk. I would go Trump. No. Yeah, I would.

You voted for Trump. I would. Does anybody here have people in your life that are voting for Trump? You ever see one of those people? If you go out of your city, if you go out of your city, I'm raised kidding. No, it's not.

I'm serious. I'd vote for Trump, but it's effective. Hang on a second. You're real. You're out of New York City, if you go out of New York, he's kidding. He's like, no, it's not. I'm not. I'd vote for Trump, but to say that. Hang on a second. I want to, you're real. Yeah. You're out of your mind. I'll say this. I think Bernie Sanders would be much better for this country.

I think Bernie Sanders would be much better for this country, but I think he's just far reaching out. Are you crazy? Bernie Sanders? Yeah. So, okay, so I'm going to room full of people that don't give a fuck about your career and being famous and being like a millionaire someday I'm saying he'd be better for this country overall

So socialism would be a good thing for this country. Let me say something But I would vote for Trump because I want to be rich So when you so if I bring you and you on a gig with me, right? If I bring you guys on a gig with me I can pay and you do a half hour and he does ten minutes it opens right you say we say we all get paid the same thing. So I can pay you the same thing? No. Why? Because I'm voting for Trump.

That's Bernie Sanders. That's Bernie. I get to pay you and you fucking two bills a pop. In terms of the answer. Actually, I'm gonna give him more because he needs it more than you. Okay. So I'm gonna give you more. You get 300, you get 200.

That's not what it is. Yeah, it is. No, it is not. That's not what it is. Yeah, it is. Straight up social is not that very it is. Exploring so much. Yeah, it is. Straight up social. I'll shut these mics up. I'm gonna throw them all fucking...

I got them in. I got them in Bobby's. And it's my way out of fucking eyeway. That's the way it is. First of all, socialism entails eating animals. Here's what happens. Here's what I think. I think for where America is,

Sanders would be better to help America into the rest of the universe. You say America again, you're getting kicked out of America. America. America. America. And it's kicked, what are you talking about? It's kicked, it's kicked, it's kicked.

It's a whole minute. It's a bottom line. But I would vote for Trump in a second because the America I was born and raised on the America that it was my dream to live in is Trump's America. You're from Canada, so to your rabia, how much is the dream is that? So you're... So you're a capitalism card core.

So your America is 1920s America. 1980s, like boom, bust, Reagan. Reagan, yeah. What do white cops fucking hoses? Sure. He wants Japanese internment America back. So we did get that awesome play from... Like, Jap, Japanese guy.

Check off. What's his name? Check off. What's his name? Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off.

Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off. Check off and check off. Yeah, I ran, fuck off. No, but you had your tongue. How do you sell? I love the people who get to,

he says one that doesn't work and he spins his microwave. You're like, what are you fucking dumbass? How do you go from saying Bernie Sanders has been here for the country and then going all vote for Donald? Overall, like I get the liberal perspective, but I think that Trump, look at, I don't think that you need another special interest president, I think Hillary Clinton would be the worst thing

to happen to this country right now. What you just said was Bernie Sanders would be great in Gratialing ourselves overall, overall, overall, but Trump would do the opposite of that. He would make us a fucking laughing stock and nobody will One deal with it, but it'd be so fun. The Randolph, yeah Toronto. Remember that, Mayor? That was them. That was true. Good point. They didn't even fucking fire him. They just let him run around.

A smoking crack. They proposed a bill in parliament in England if they should not allow Trump into England. Well, they actually want him to come to England and they want him to come to England so they can fucking yell at him. The parliament wants to get one of them. They want him to just scratch him. Yeah. He's yell back make fun of them. They want to yell back at him. Yeah. What? She yelled back at him.

I have more money than you. Shut up. Yeah. All right. What are you? Are you Trump too? Just because you have his hair. No, I would.

Scopo would vote for Trump in a second. I don't vote, but I don't know. I think it's funny. Do you know how to vote? Yeah. I've never voted before. I don't know. Well, they say if they're in New York, there's no point to voting.

There's no point to voting or anything. Is you're going anything is gonna go Democrat. Yeah, but no way with Trump It's past the point of it. You know I will you go outside of New York city people want Trump you see do Yeah, yeah, I got pulled over by the cops in Jersey Late at night. I don't know who the fuck I was with and The two cops black cop and an Indian cop in me, but In the with and the two cops black cop and an Indian cop Indian but not even my life in the whole shit is no Indian cop I swear to God

in Jersey in look I swear to look Indian but he was kind of jacked up you know no neck little motherfucker right and they pulled us over and I immediately dropped the comedian card of course yeah I didn't I tried to do faces I do on TV like maybe are you on your way back from a gig or two or a gig. I'm coming back from a gig. And I think I was with my friend Joe. I forget.

He was Joe. So I was coming back and I said, you know, we guys did a comedy show. Well, you're comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? And as soon as I said comedian, the black guy who is the lieutenant or whatever, he was the guy in charge. He was a guy in charge. He was a fuck and he walks away because he's no, some were not getting to take the other guy goes, yeah, you got you doing any,

would you, would you get a political jokes? I go, not really. He goes, who you voting for? I go, I don't know, I don't know. He goes, who did you vote for? I go, I voted for Obama. He goes, you fuck. No, he goes. This is the Indian guy saying this? Indian guy. He goes, I go, I voted for Obama. He goes, you fuck. No, he goes, this is the Indian guy saying this. Indian guy. He goes, I go, who you vote for? He goes, Trump, and I'll tell you why. Yeah. I'm a fucking politician. All cops, all cops, Hey, Obama, they want Trump.

They were. They want to give me the ticket for shoot me. Give me the, they want fucking Trump. They hate Obama because he's taking a lot of that money. Yeah. And guns and gun control. Because Christie and all of them, they froze all state employees, pain creases on all their salaries. So shouldn't they not like Chris Christie? Oh, the Hey Chris Christie, yeah.

He's not going anywhere. Why do they hit Obama, the cops? They take it away, guns and money. And they hit the Blasio too, right? And I mean, the Blasio is the worst. The Blasio. Oh, the Blasio. The Blasio is stracking queens are not even fucking plowed

What are you talking about by my parents house? Nothing is this like we're like Don't don't please never mention that fuck's name on this podcast because there's nothing you can do no the blasio Stinks the problem with Obama was that he never fucking addressed the the police and he made everything seem like it was the cops fault and then the Ferguson effects spiraled into this big huge racial divide and that's what divided the country at this point and slavery but you know same thing Wow, whatever. How can you leave? Yeah

I'm really kidding you still. I don't see it. I can't go past this stone. I'm penis glass.. I'm getting a real peasant stone. I'm getting a real penis glass. I'm getting a real penis glass. You're absolutely right. I was going to be a great time for a magic trick. I'm going to put that fucking jacket back on.

That's going to pick a card. He'll get my stones out of my body. Well, I think it's commendable that you have this, no, as where's the kid right now? Who's watching the kid? He's with his dad. Well, he's in school. Trump is watching the kid.

Kids in the car, Manetta. Yeah. That's great. Now, how long have you been doing comedy? I guess five and a half, six years. Really? How long have you been doing comedy? Well, wow.

That's a blast. That's a blast. It's a blast. It's like I started right after 9-11, but I moved to New York in 2008. 9-11 inspired you to do comedy? Yeah, really? Yeah, well, some girl broke up with me because she was super Christian,

and she told me like, God, she was like, God, kept my dad out of the buildings, and I was like, you, you're fucking retarded. Sorry, I'm sorry. I got real pissed. I was like, that's stupid. And then she broke up with me, and she was like, you're not gonna do the things you love, and I was like, you're fucking retarded, sorry, I'm sorry, I got real pissed, I was like, I can't stoop and then she broke up with me. And she was like, you're not gonna do the things you love and I was like, I'll be a fucking comedian, fuck you.

And I always wanted to do comedy. I mean, just get this straight. So there's this girl. So there's quite the nice way to marry you. This girl was very excited that her father didn't die. He was supposed to go to the building. Yeah, he was even supposed to be there though. Oh, but he worked there.

He worked there. Broke his wrist. It lived in Florida. In the town. In the town we were in and then told everyone broke his wrist on 9-11. So he's one of those people? Is he Steve Ran is easy? No. That was the one.

That was the one. I was jumping at the bed for that Ran is easy too. I'm going to give you this. What? I'm going to change it into a good bed. Oh! Today only. I'm going to give you that. I'm going to give you that only a little out of

boy from the boss there scope. It's not a bomb. It's a good play. I did well. I guarantee he switches it back to bomb and then before the show's over. I mean, if you're betting bet hard. That was close. That was close. What you go. Sohard I was close that was close What you go so he lied and said that he broke his wrist on like like Exandry who just say like if you said to me had you break a wrist and I went 9 11

Pretty much I fell out of one of the building You die or you live on 9 1111 really wasn't two options hang up It's all you'd make it fucking You die you live on September how do you break your rib? There was people who got out of that building and so that he no but if you're gonna sit here There's people that got out. Yeah, I'm saying you do you live or you you died But there's people that got hurt. There's people that broke their wrist.

You what? Dumb, dumb, fucking dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,

dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb He goes out. There was a spectrum of injuries on September 11th. The spectrum, thank you. The spectrum, maybe it's why I can't even understand it. But I was trying to say. But yes, there was a whole plethora of injuries. I'm a lounge of injuries.

But that idea that you'd come out and you'd say, Jesus stepped in and pulled my dad out, but didn't pull anybody else out, well then Jesus is a fucking asshole. If you believe, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, asshole. If you believe, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I love Jesus, but that's not the Jesus. No offense, but. They're kind of his God, not mine. No, no, I'm not anything. I'm just saying that if God or Jesus exists, are you Jewish?

No, I'm Italian. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like you one. He's from Jersey. I'm a fan. Oh, he's not a fucking fan. And I'm not even an atheist. I just think that if you believe in God,

God is interfering. Because if you're like, I'm not even an atheist. I just think that if you believe in God, God is interfering because if you're like Sorry, but my my my sister had a baby the doctor came in fucking nailed it. She is a Sarian She was all fucked up the doctor walks him with the kid in another jacket. He goes there's your kid fucking bones Awesome doctor spikes the kid. Yeah, the fucking baby. Yeah, and my dad goes Let's thank God for doing that no fuck you. Thank the thank the doctor. The doctor is the one who did that. If you're saying that God helped save that kid, then you're saying God isn't helping other kids, which means God is killing kids.

Oh, something happens in the kid. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying I'm in the delivery. Anybody who, I don't believe the idea that Jesus is, or God is helping people. I'm saying Jesus, that's my, all right. I like Jesus is funny to me, because it's very specific.

It's like Nike's instead of shoes. you know, I'm wearing my Nike's no But if you're saying God helped you then you're saying God isn't helping other people which is making your God actually not very good I'm not I'm just saying that he's let you go. God can't be perfect But if you want God to save everybody we'd have no place to walk You got to stick it in picking people that's a Yeah, that's assuming that death's a bad thing in a way. And I don't mean that in a weird way, but that death, you know, and there are all different types of death.

Yeah, yeah. I'm getting metaphorical, but I feel like we see it in a certain viewpoint here, but there has to be death. It sucks. So it's a work. If heaven is amazing afterwards, then you want babies dying

because they don't have to deal with earth. They just go easy past a heaven. How amazing would that be? That, I mean, my, I mean, that's one way, that's one way of looking at it. But I mean, I don't know I deal with earth. They just go easy past a heaven. How amazing would that be? That's one way of what you get. But I mean, I'm just trying to get some good clips for our new intro. If Jesus dies and kills babies, no, I just don't know.

No, I don't know. Bad, bad, bad, bad. And that's the intro. I'm just trying to get them. Trump Trump it up the sky. But that's a thing too. I just think that people put this thing like he's doing all this stuff.

And I think if you think he's doing those things and he's also doing bad things, sorry. No, not at all dude, I look man, when you talk about religion and you pick a side or you don't pick a side, you're gonna get, you, you mean look, people are, I'm spiritual. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean I get it, but I understand why people believe in

Jesus or Moses I get why whatever it's yeah, it's a positive perspective on life I love religion I don't see people who should follow religion for the most part are good people they have good rules I just think there's certain things that are hypocritical within those yeah, and I'm okay with that I just think that we should just the fact that she said her dad was saved by Jesus hang on one second Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. These mics work. What's wrong with you? Sorry. What the hell is confederate?

Yeah, no shit. That's how that works while you're doing a show. Sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I mean, nothing's just the tonight show. You're going to fucking lean over to rug the hour and go. Anyways, too many times.

So, yeah. I mean, I know that I'm not the fucking most. I'm going to have a little respect to facts and thoughts. You know his question. What's Jesus? No, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. I apologize.

No, thank you. I don't know what you said. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was the first time I ever got the same. Yeah. Fuck it. Literally hates God. I wanna get that.

Yeah. So anyways, you brought your tarot cards in. Yeah. Today, I wanna get a reading. I would like to get a reading. I'll give you a reading. And I've also been reading into your energy already. I can't help it, I just do that.

Oh! Oh! Oh, man, dinner. I can't. I've read that do that. Oh! Oh! Oh, man, dinner. I'm in the wrong. I've been on that. I've been on that. You know, that was coming. That was a witch dance.

No, but I can't, I mean, I read into everyone's. I feel like most comics do though, whether or not they're conscious of it, because we have to read in an audience. So a lot of us are really empathic, but I'm very like looking at everyone, trying to pick out who has anxiety disorders, who is penis won't make my pussy burn.

Something like that. Yeah, well yours what? Everybody else got that, Garry. Mine would or wouldn't? It was. Can I see? I've been a queen for two years. I don't mean that.

You just said you didn't want to wear condoms anymore. Yeah. Right. That's why you just make your body. Give it up. can I just say something how small my packers become what I don't know what I think the weight My I have the same issue my dick used to be I could do one two and a thumb. Yeah, oh When it's hard, I don't have that When it's hard when it's hard. Yeah, they just get you out of the game Yeah, yeah's hard, yeah. Let's just get you out of the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mine is like the game. Yeah, when it was hard, I could do one, two, and a thumb. I used to be able to do a walk. Can I make a suggestion? Lose weight? No. What? Get a bigger day?

What? What's that? It's like, it's like, it's like my... It's like my... I don't take drugs. I don't take anything. Look, this is different. Have it tell me to look well.

You're looking at me. See, listen. No, I mean, look down here. I took one. Look. Do you want to take it? It's great. You're looking at me. You're like, see, listen. No, I'm not looking down here. I took one. Look. No. It's great. It thickens it up.

It fucking beats it. You're good for four hours. I'm telling you, I've tried Viagra, I've tried Seattle, I've tried LaVetra. LaVetra chunks it up. Pretty much chunks it up. That's why she hates your bean. It chunks it up.

It chunks it up. It chunks it up. Shunks it up is not something that may be open to hiding. Scopus looking right now. Yeah, there it is. Bobby, I'm gonna do this. I got hang on. What did I get hang on?

When it's rested, you ever pulled back the fat to make it look like it was, it's a group. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying, I've been the same thing. I've literally tried to, like, just,

I would like to, for them to invent like a, a ball tie, where I could tie my nuts onto something and then tie that onto a door and then walk forward. So just stretch my bush fat. He just turned my dick as long as it should be there. When you jerk off, just pull the lecture. That's what I do, should I pull it? Pull the longer,

or he'll get longer eventually, in the beliefs of the man. I don't think that. What do you teach children? He's going to be a little bit of a... The African ears. You know how they pull the right ears? A. I don't think that. What do you teach children? He's going to be a man. The African ears. You know, they pull the right ears a little bit from blues clues.

Pull. Pull. The whole electric. It looks a little longer. The fuck is that? I was going to believe that. Yeah, also just shaving down there make it look bigger.

Probably, right? Yeah. Well, if you have your beard, it does. Yeah. If you have Aaron's beard, no, it's just that is what it is. Yeah. I trim it. I trim it up You gotta be careful though because you get it you can get fucking in grown hands on your nuts Oh, yeah, I got a zit on my nut because of that you don't shave it all the way

He just put the clippers with the number one like clippers with the number one you won't get any in grown hand sure Yeah, I'm positive. Okay, that's what I do I Wants Aaron man talking to him. I'm talking to him. You're fucked. You just assume Aaron shaves his bowl. You shave your bowl. I just trim my chest and my abs and your arms and your chest. I want to do my legs. I want to assume you just have nothing until two days ago. I had hair on my chest, but it was a. Do you think Aaron's hot? Yeah. Do you think

Aaron's hot? I think he's good looking. Yeah, definitely. It's different. The way Kate said it, she thinks good looking. No, she did it technical, yes. By all medical and scientific terms, he was looking, but by what I would fuck, absolutely not. I thought you shan more tractor. That's not what she was thinking.

No, I just went that way for the funny. I wish I had. I went that way. It wouldn't have been as funny if it weren't real. All right, so you've been reading my energy. Yes, do you want to hear what I... I do, I want to go to the chat room real quick. We have a chat room.

Do you have anything in the chat room, do you? We've got a couple of things. Patrick Milligan is in the chat room. Get the fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys know Patrick, right? He is the, what is the manager, half-owner? He's the booker at the stand.

The booker at the stand. The booker at the stand. The founder of the old famous Khrinshumer website, which was a very historical website, right? Yeah, absolutely. It was one of the first, I think it was one of the first websites to actually honestly take a look at comedy from a non-PC perspective. I mean, they got it wrong, but some of the times, but they admitted it when they got it wrong.

And they liked a certain brand of comedy, which I kind of felt it fell into, which is cool for me, but they also, they really love stand-up comedy. So, and Patrick was the head of that. And he put together a bunch of people and blah, blah, blah. And then he had management, and now here we have the stand so. He says a thousand bucks says Bobby says Amy isn't a thief. Well I don't think she is. Well here okay I really don't

think she. You think she. Well at first I'll tell you why that comment bugs me from that fat fuck. This because he's goading me. He's trying to get it. He's he's he's he's like a troll. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what a troll would say. Patrick, grow the fuck up. You know what I mean? You want to get Patrick on the phone? A Patrick, grow the fuck up.

I don't, I don't think, uh, it's the same thing that happened with, with Dane. It's the same thing that happened, you know, now this thing with Ralphie and Chelsea, you know, this into the, Well, that was different. That was, I think he's having some issues and he was going, not...

I know, but here's the issues, is that when you have those usually behind you close to it, now with social media. Right, right, right. We all get to fucking be in on everybody's fucking business. There's no ounce of pause. And back in the day, I'm pretty sure you could take everybody's act here and find a similar joke on fucking YouTube

and on the internet from some other comic. They accused me on my special of stealing Kevin James' joke. Now, my special came up before his, okay? But for some reason, I stole his joke, but then people are saying that he stole mine. And it's like, you mean a fat guy had a joke about picking something up? It's like, now, there's a lot, you know,

stuff keeps happening and it keeps going. When I say to a friend of mine, when I said the dain, when I said, you know, to whoever it is, is accused of, hey, did you do this? And they go absolutely fucking not. Where do you go from there? Yeah. What am I supposed to say? Fuck you, you did.

You did, right. You did do it. You fucking did it. No, I didn't. Okay. There is a way, there is a reason, there can be, hey, I didn't do that. It's just, or someone gave me that,

or someone wrote that sketch, or I didn't do this, or I didn't do that. You never know what the fucking details are. so if someone says I didn't do it Then I believe that you didn't fucking do it. I don't believe he did it either. Oh dang when that health thing happened I I said did you steal his fucking joke? No Bobby. I fucking didn't so If also you don't if Patrick if Patrick is accused of something murdering somebody or doing some fucked up shit And he goes I didn't fucking do it. I'd be like, all right, I fucking believe you, as a friend of mine.

I, okay, great, that's what I have to go on. I can't, I don't, first of all, I don't have time in my life to go investigate. So let somebody else do all, Patrick, you go and uncover the fucking clues, and then if you may, if you find, if there's real, like if you have a video of her sitting in the back of the room

while someone's, I'm like, okay, there you go, there you go. But I, you know, that's nothing I can do about that. You also, anyone see the godfather? I feel like you don't take sides against the family in public. To me, it's like, to me, it's like, yeah. I'll talk to you if I ever thought like Aaron stole a joke. I talked to Aaron, we discussed it, if not, whatever,

but it's like, I don't like people coming up to me not in comedy, being like, gave me shimmers of thief, it's like, you don't, you fuck you, you don't know shit about any of this works, you've no, it's like. It is disappointing because as far as being in this business, we are comics, and I know that Amy called Wendy right up and dealt with it.

Yeah. I believe she called up the other way. What's her name? When, uh, Kathy Madigan. I think it's like here, what's your name? When, uh, Kathy Madigan. Kathy Madigan. I think it's like here, what's up? And then, and then she actually, she faced her head on.

That's what I have. Well, she went, but she went on, she went to the people that, and they were like, look, this, this is what happened on blah, blah, blah, I didn't do it. And they told her they don't believe that she did it. And then, so, so, so, so, so, so, now you still have people going, you steal.

Yeah. Even though the two people were going, no, she didn't do it. What's the name of the... Tammy Paz. Tammy Paz. Tammy actually took it to a level of, she kept on going at it. And then when it was kind of brought out, like when Amy said her piece on that gym, Norton show, and she was like, I didn't do this, I'll take a lot of tech to test. This happens, you really think, it's true, she goes, you really think I'm watching Tammy's

half hour from 2006. It's from a while ago I don't have I don't have time to do that right now. I would ever it is so That's why I didn't believe that she did it and the minute that happened and Tammy Pesca tell you went on and she was like I think you got out of hand. I don't think she did it now like she kind of backtracked Well, let me bring this up Can I say this like I would love for you to say this the fact about Amy is she's also got writers too, right? Like Amy's not writing everything that she puts out I would say this, like I would love for you to say this. The fact about Amy is she's also got writers too, right? Like Amy's not writing everything that she puts out there.

When you have a television show, when you have to do an hour every year, and she is first to admit, I've never had a team of people help me write an hour. I've never had a team of people help me write a TV show. I don't have people around me all the time, but I'll tell you this, Norton's give me great lines,

fucking Lenny's give me great lines, fucking Lenny's give me great lines, Stavros is give, you know what I mean? We do help each other, but if I had a fucking show, and I had a team of you, if all you assholes were talking with me, I'd be like, dude, let's help me.

I'll help you, of course. I'll help you too, but you help me, and I think we should do that stuff, but is that you giving me the joke? No, but then what I'm saying is, that's how it could have trickled in. Maybe somebody else saw somebody do it and they, you know, you don't think about all this stuff. When you see like a chick do a chick joke, then you're like, oh, this might work for you. And then you give it to it. So it may be like a broken telephone,

but how stolen jokes get this. It's a very big difference between what, what, what they think that she did, and then what that whole carless man see I think was. Because that was word for word. And then when he was brought up to him, he didn't deny it. He said he did it. That whole Bill Cosby bit that he stolen did on his show. Right.

And it was just, and it was a personal Bill Cosby bit about his life. Oh, he just was doing the raping and the, but he doesn't have kids. What? It was about his kid. Yeah, about his kid and he doesn't have kids. Yeah, so that's way different.

That's totally, yeah. That's totally different. Yeah, so it's way different. That's totally different. Yeah, that's totally different. Yeah, so it's like, so did Amy still joke? No, because she said, you know, when asked, hey, no, I didn't do it. Okay, great. And then the people that accused her were like, oh, we fucked up. We talked and it's cool. Okay, great.

Now, everything's come, anything similar, anything out there, like these are such original fucking thoughts. Like my fat, I remember I had a joke about Afghani girls gone wild. And I was like, and I was like, and I did Obama bin Laden bloopers. I said, he making all these videos in the cave, there must be bloopers. You know, I can't be loved. Or Osama, but...

Osama been loved. Osama been loved, very close. But Osama, I was like, you know, okay, I'm met at the most, wait, wait, you know, I'm like this, smoking weed, whatever. And I had Lonnie Love did the joke. And I'm sitting there going, that's,

I mean, literally did the joke in front of me at the Breyer and Bruv. And then the family guy did it. And then, of course, and then Judah had a joke, same to it, it's like, now, I become fucking famous off that joke, I'm making millions, I'm every award show ever, and that's my joke. I'm, and social media is what it is today.

I'm a thief, I fucking stole it off a family guy. Yeah. So the people who love family guy, I'm a thief. People who love Judah, you stole that. People who love Lonnie Love. That motherfucker's doing your joke. You know what I mean? So.

You don't have to go there. I do characters. I'm working on my character. So, you know, you can't just fucking witch hunt. And in comedy, which Patrick is fucking a member of now, we have to fucking contain ourselves, we have to push pause for one second and talk to each other and in the community and fucking deal with our own shit. Because everybody knows what a fucking hack is.

And Patrick is the guy who called Dan Nathamon a hack, When he had a, Dan Nathamon on a hacks page. Really? Yes. And I said to him, I go, I go, first of all, you don't get to fucking use the word hack. That's our word as comedians. Second of all, Dan Nathamon is the farthest thing from a hack. Absolutely.

He is the most original. Maybe you don't think he's funny. That's a different fucking ball game. If you don't think he's funny, that's personal. Fuck you, I don't care. I think he's funny so But he's not a hack original Fucking very talented great jokes. I think and he actually but here's this white Patrick's cool He came down watch them and went I fucked up

Right up took him right off. Yeah, he's very nice. I'd love to work the club I took him right off. Patrick's always been very nice and I'd love to work the club. He doesn't say for the record, but he doesn't think that Amy's a thief. Well fuck you, don't set me up yet. He's a bit faster. And get this magician somewhere. Fuck it, stop wearing fucking dishes, Amy now. Magic Mondays.

Magic Mondays, I just don't know what I'm gonna stand. With Greg Stone and his two half-alive dumb. You should have really get free tarot card. Greg Stone and Harrison Greenbomb. Two for one. Blow that magician out of the water. And I saw him. I saw him right next door to here.

He'd blow you in water. What? I thought Greg was a pretty woman, my bad. Yeah, what you're called. I think Greg's right about the other thing about he said about how people who are outside comedy are trying to be very inside baseball by talking about these things, these jokes, these and all this.

They do it with heckler videos online are the most popular comedy videos. People think that's part of comedy. They think that's like, hey, we're into it. That helps the show. We're in. I have people come to shows and go, oh, I heckled you. I helped the show and I go, no, you didn't. You didn't help the show. Yeah, the only heck of a video I like is when the guy hit them with a guitar. That's crazy. I mean then the audience is like, no, you shouldn't. You saw, he came at me, no.

Was that in Canada? No. But then like Steve Hofsteader tried to post all these ones where it's like, comic, annihilate, tackler. And it's not that bad. And someone will be like, you're not that good. He's like, yeah, your sister's not that good. Yeah.

And there was that. annihilate it. That's not annihilate it.! I'm not gonna leave that. I'm not gonna leave that. Do you understand what a fucking mastermind that fucking redhead is? Yeah. I guarantee he had a fucking project manager do research on what the most- What words of the most buzzword? And he was like, yeah exactly, an Iolation.

And that's what I'm gonna say. This tackle isn't my only. You sir are a drunk. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So are you gonna have Kate read your energy? I really wanna see you. Well I wanna, I wanna, I wanna wrap this up.

Do we have an ad today? Just Amazon and Sweet. Alright, fuck it. I wanna wrap this, because I did wanna get to the Zaynby stuff. And then I wanna end with the, the tower readings of whoever wants to get a read. I would love it so much. I don't know.

So, but I do want to wrap this. I think the Chelsea Prey thing, look, I can understand. I have to, I have, look it. I have to back up Ralphie in one way. Can you just explain it? I don't know. I'm gonna explain. Ralphie May was asked a question on Twitter yesterday, correct?

Uh, oh, I think he just came out. Okay, Ralphie Mae just went off yesterday on Chelsea Paredes name, which is her name of her special was called one of the greats. Which is the joke. Yeah, right. It's a fucking joke. Yeah, yeah.

It's a country joke. Okay, is it? It's also been out for like two or three years. It's been two years, but it's a definitely something. It's yeah, but it's kind of like, you know, it's supposed to make fucking dumb guys mad. It's supposed to make, it's supposed to make you go, you know what, the fucking,

and it's supposed to make, you know, other comics go, yeah, you fucking idiot, that's stupid, you're named with that, that's pretty funny. And it fits her persona though. And it absolutely does. Chelsea, it's actually a perfect fucking, I think it's great.

I really, I like it. I like it a lot. It's a, because look at me, to say that, you really gotta say fuck it. I'm naming it one of the greats. That's funny. That's a pretty ballsy move to get that funny. Ralphie took it serious like she meant it.

And he went off on her. I get it. He's going off the perspective that she meant it. And it's like, you're not even one of the goods. Never mind one of the greats. And he trashed her. And she did. Well, he kept doing this thing, started to interrupt you.

But he kept doing this thing where he was going. He was going, you're really funny. I think you're really funny. But one of the greats, and I'm one of the greats of this year. Like shit like that. Yeah, which is, and look. Why didn't you do that?

Fucking call her up. Because something was going on. Something was going on. I think he's going through. I don't know the guy personally, but what I heard is that he's going through some shit. I've never met him. And you can't say, I really think you're funny,

and then take somebody down like that either. It's kind of you playing both sides of the fucking coin, which I don't like either. It's like, you know, you just say stick to it, a fucking down or shut the fuck up, you know. The funniest part is Harvey Action was just she was just retweeting his tweet. That's so funny.

And then he, at one point he called her how disrespectful it was for her to write it that. And then she tweeted a picture of him naked, wrapped in the American flag on the cover of his spec. And he was like, what about our country bro? Why aren't you disrespectful of our country? I'd say, I wouldn't want, I'd be grateful. It just respectful of our country? I would, I would, I would, I was a great point.

Chelsea Brady lives in the B. I'd say, I don't know if I'd want to fuck with her. Because you know, she, given her, given, she's pretty smart. She is that ironic comedy can get those fucking, just a fucking angry alpha male can be hung out there on a fucking shit like that. You know, he was, he was,

but I think the poor guys going through some stuff. His wife's leaving him. He's got, he's got, he was tweeting about the half of the last couple of days. And I really, let me tell you something. Ralph, he's never been nothing but sweet to me. Everybody that knows Ralph, he knows he's a really nice guy. I think that he's just going through something

and I think he cooked onto this for a second and fucked up. I really do. And Chelsea, you know, she's smart enough to think to know that. Absolutely, that's why that's something. yeah I don't think you know what but when this even though you're going through some shit when stuff like this happens you deal with the consequences and the consequences were it going public and people shitting shitting on you back because they don't know that people are reading tweets like oh you know they're not they're not personal friends of yours

you be doing it to gain attention no no I think there's a thing they're like you said he's going through shit no but I think he might have appointed, might be like, you know what? I need, going on, right? Look, negative attention is just as good as positive attention and people actually talking about him and to him. You know, also sometimes people are just high. Like, I could see myself reading to you, like, what are the crates? Fuck!

And then being like, oh, I'm still on that. I have a social media rule where it's like, you fucking sit on that shit for 24 hours. If you're gonna say something that you think is gonna have a big fucking bad. It's like I've written to people like in the DM and then just deleted like 90 M's. I have my wife correct all the spelling and it's ready to go.

I'm just, I'm just, delete, delete, delete. And I was like, oh, take out and send that. That shit has a shelf life of literally 24 hours. Like 24 hours later, you look back on it, you know, oh, this doesn't matter at all. We got it when you said 24. Thanks, probably.

And then, that's what it's like. Literally, we got it. I think Scopo should call his new special. I swear I have 25 minutes. What else you got? What else you got? What else you got? He's usually named Metzger's Bosnian face. He says Bobby also stole that hat from a homeless crack head in the port authority. That was your name was way funny. Your

wordy fucking trash in my hat. I mean, this fucking hat, the comment you're just like, hey, I'm here. What else do you want? Hey, check out my name. Yeah. Arrows pointing up. King Kami says, I would gladly suck out Lawrence Kidney Stone. Aw, thank you, sweetie.

Wow. I'm so glad you're doing it. I'm saying, aw, romantic. Oh, you're so sweet, boo. What are you gonna use a hot air balloon She has a big box What else anything else last thing Christ killer says Bobby looks like an ooze-beck DJ Wow you do can you go to the regular chat and just read the top one?

The latest thing yeah the latest screen right on screen mega tech guy says whilst I was in Vietnam I saw a fortune teller who was on fire He was a napalm leader. I was like, yeah, fucking my chat is better than Deepo chat. 95% of it. This is Cogsaka. I have to get a fucking chat filter. Guy, anyways, all right. So let's take out these devil cards.

I'm so nervous right now. You should be nervous. Oh, look at them. They're in devil cards. Look at that. So shuffle as much as you want. You know, however you want, like a whatever. What's that?

What's that? What's that? Man, what did you just knock off there? We're just going to pull out. That was a piece of like Splenda. Oh, okay. Oh, man. I'm fucking nervous.

Wait, wait, wait. I'm going to do a third. Yeah, I can do longer readings, but not for this. Yeah. This is, all right. So everybody. I'm so nervous. I'm gonna do a third, yeah, I can do longer readings, but not for this. This is, so everybody. I'm so nervous, because you have to be so sensitive. I'm very sensitive. No, but I'm saying here, it's so, yeah,

I'll just have to get into my, you would get into your thing, okay? I want you to read my cards. I'm going to, I want you to. All right, I'm almost done, I'm feeling it. I feel like I'm, you know, like when you're up on a, doing, you know, doing comedy and you're about to get heckled, I'm feeling it. I feel like when you're up and doing comedy and you're about to get heckled,

I feel like that's what's about to happen, but I have to stay vulnerable to read. So it's intense. Like everyone's ready to be like, you're a bullshit. Hang on one second, they're whispering to each other. What the fuck?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They mics work. Johnny. That's the last time I did that. What do you think they call mics? I don't know why that means anything. That, they mics work. Johnny. All right, that's the last time I do that. What do you, they call mics? I don't know why that means anything, that's a new meaning.

I, I don't have people, like they would call pick me up. I'm a mean, that's it. Really mediums? I feel like some of them are shuffle those cards. I have no idea how many of them. By this cross talk, I can't hear you.

What, what are you saying? I was saying mediums. I have, this is all fun, but if you're like, my, I'm talking to your dad and your dad says he misses you, then I'm like, that's the only thing I can say. Once you reach the only reason my cards. It's called excelling Like medium I actually made you confused

All right, I'm ready you ready are you ready? Are you ready? I'm ready. Are you off your phone? We all need energy We all hold hands, please Hey, um, Frank Steve Steve. Steve do you believe in tower readings? Okay, well You want holding birds and We have to hold hands. We don't have to hold hands. No, I just need a hold.

I just need these. Let's hold hands. Hold hands. Hold hands. People hold my hands. The whole time is going to be the whole man. We don't hold hands. Hold hands.

It's a clammy. No, I just want to feel warm. Malakala, malakala, malakala. I just want Lauren to touch me. That's all. With the fingers that have been in her huge guess. The finger who is. Finger is. Okay. Oh shit. I got. What does that mean? No, you actually you didn't get

anything super duper intense. Come on. Re-shuffle my want a career normally. I'm one fame. So I read for comedians a lot before shows. A lot of comedians do get the devil card because it stands for addictive behavior. Yeah. But you didn't get that. That's great. But you did. I'll start with the eight of swords. Eight of swords. I'm an eight addictive behavior. Yeah. But you didn't get that action. That's great. But you did. I'll start with the eight of swords. Eight of swords. I have an eight inch dick. Yeah.

You've eight dicks. Guys. Sorry. That's amazing. No, no, let's keep going. This is a very serious fake power over you. Listen, it's not fake. It's not fake.

But we're grinsed. I do feel if I started crying. Listen, don't cry. That is, we want to be serious, but that is the amount of the XF sucked in life. Go ahead. So it's weird that I got that. That's weird.

We've ordered eight times, but only eight. I mean, I'd say, I'd say, I'd say, I'm just gonna let go try to be serious about it. If you count my dick, it's eight and a half, but, okay. So yeah, so you've been but fucked by eight different dicks. Yeah. No, so the swords been but fucked by eight different dicks. Yeah. No, so the swords represent. That you need to zero your hand.

Fuck, is wrong, are you just offended? So I sucked them, I didn't get f I'm a gay. Okay, okay. So, Sam, I'm trying to balance both. Okay, so swords represent intellect. You don't balance funny, we'll do the funny. You stay on cue. Okay, thank you.

See, you stay. Well, before actually, what I read about your energy is I picture you as a little boy very sensitive, like probably more sensitive than most as a child. Yeah, are you trolling me? No, I'm being serious though. I picture you like, I feel like you cried a lot. Not in like a bat, I feel,

you don't even mean very sensitive, very intense. Yeah, very, very intense. Maybe even with like animals. Yes. So I do actually, when you tap into it, you are very sensitive and touch. I spent the night with a hooker I didn't even fucking have her do anything I gave it it was too cold I got our nachos and a die cut and I let us stay warm for a couple of months no but I believe that you would actually I can't not just

a book is coming out almost threw up I, that's your barometer. No, but because I can see you putting yourself into kind of toxic situations, but then immediately actually talking to the strippers or the hovers about their childhood and you know, their pain. I can see that in you. But anyway, eight of swords is about prison of the mind. It's talking about obsessive thoughts. And I'm going to tie it all together, but there's something about you can't think your way out of a prison of the mind. Do you know what I mean? Like you're always trying to think about okay how can I be

more peaceful? How can I when you actually just have to surrender and include all these parts of yourself? Like you're trying to do it does that make sense? You're trying to figure out. You're trying to get me to say what you want me to say? No no I'm trying. I'm trying to make sure we're on the same page. Yes I'm very sensitive. Okay but what I'm saying is. Do me to say? No, no, I'm trying. I'm trying to make sure we're on the same page here. Yes, I'm very sensitive. OK, but what I'm saying is, you want more? No, no, no. What I'm saying is, you are trying to figure out

how to deal with the pain still. Yes. Here, instead of letting yourself just feel it and include all these parts of yourself. You know what? I just talked about it with my therapist today. I hold on to this is a fact that I never had the family I wanted, and now that I am the family I wanted,

I still hold on to the fact that I never had it. Even though I have it, I made it. And I should just let go of the fact that I never had it. Are you saying that the family you have now is reminding of you not having the family when you were a kid? Well, I still hold on to it. Like I never had a fight.

I never had and I but here I am. I am a great dad. I have a great wife. I have a great kid. I have a nice house. I got and I have this beautiful life that I'm still living in the past of, you know, I looking for a dad and I don't need. I am the dad.

I'm the dad. I'm never going to get a dad. I'm never going to get that. The guy I thought I wanted. I am that guy. I'm the dad. I'm never gonna get a dad. I'm never gonna get that. Yeah, the guy I thought I wanted I am that guy. I could be that guy. I'm the guy See that cuz you have a very warming face I would love it that you like that. You like the fucking piano player from fan You know, you're not the best looking guy, but you're not the worst I know this is like a cheesy quote that's been going on on Facebook, but it says

suck one dick, suck them all. Oh, that's my second favorite, but it's be who you needed when you were younger, but it's really hard to mourn because I had a, you know, pretty crazy childhood and it's pretty, it's still hard for me to mourn that I never had the nurturing I needed. Right. So I, and I'm doing this like corny thing where I remember being a little girl crying at night. Yeah. Because I didn't really feel like I was safe in my home So what I do now is I'll close my eyes and put my hand on my heart and picture me going back to that girl

Like I'm here for you now, and it's almost a way to like transcend time to try to heal and be there for her Because she's still really there. You're gonna make me cry right now. Yeah, I picture cuz I was the one when I was six grade I was so sad cuz I didn't have any friends and my mother got divorced from her the abusive Father stepfather and I remember I had nobody because my mother had a work all day and I would go into the basement and into the corner Every morning after I would leave for school I would just go in the the corner and fall asleep and cry on the floor and I didn't go to school for like two weeks I would just go into the corner and fall asleep and cry on the floor. And I didn't go to school for like two weeks. I would just go into the corner and that little blanket and I would curl up and just cry.

Well, honestly, what I would do when you're feeling that kind of pain is, once again, I know it sounds corny, but closing your eyes, putting your hand on your heart and going back to that boy and being like, you're not alone on here. Because I am very into this spiritual stuff and I feel like time. Can you do that after you, Bob? No, you're not alone on here. Because I am very into this bearded stuff, and I feel like time. Can you do that after you, Bob?

No, you bombed. No. No, because I was trying. How do you follow the fucking basement story? Yeah, I'm trying here. With fucking a shitty joke. Give me the fuck. Well, could you let Sean run it by him?

And then if he says, you know what I'm saying? I shut the room down with the phone. No, that was, he just needs approval, but it's okay. We love you, Chris. We'll fuck you. Literally, this disconnected Indian is bored to death right now. Okay, I'll wrap it up, I'll wrap it up. But anyway, go ahead, I'm kidding.

Well, what I was saying, though, for real, I feel like when you do that, it kind of transcends time. It's a weird thing where you feel like you are with that little child because I was looking for, like I would be like, what am I, you know, okay, let's keep going, let's keep going. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Six of Wands. I don't get it.

I go, go back, all right. I put my hand in my chest, wow, wow, wow, go. Six of Wands, it's about surrender letting go, but it's about with the six of Wands, it's about nurturing and actually being a leader of a family. That's what it actually this family You got two dick cards in a row. I got a wand and a fucking sword. Yeah, wand and sword But what's interesting it's saying that now that you are nurturing and kind of leading a family not kind of our leading a family

Yeah It's it's it's coming back to the six of cups and six the number six is linked to nurturing It's nurture right someone who wants to take care and get- One second. Is there any Montreal cart? Is there any- No, no. I need a cart.

You went from a sword to a wand to a nurture. I got a cart. OK. Next one is a stab. Surprise you're not allergic to vaginas. Next one is your seven of doilys. Yes. You're three of them. Yes, oh, the three of Maxi-Ped.

Let me draw, Maxi-Ped, let me draw Warrior. The Maxi-Ped is your shield. Oh, the tampon string means you are strong and you can be seen in tough places. Actually, you're a bird. You need to hear this area. The true strength is actually in being vulnerable. So just remember that.

I'm extremely, I cried this morning. I know, but I'm saying a lot of times guys will fight. You looking your spots this week? I've got a good weekend actually. Relax. Oh, sorry, seven of swords. Wait, uh, fuck you. What?

Why does Aaron look like he would be in the time of these cards? Yeah. Oh, fuck you! You should be on my do. I'm feeling a chicken butt wing. The Tubby gladiator. It's like a fucking guilt with a giant turkey bone. The fryer card. This is your fryer.

You'd be bringing your news. We have news from the country, so I have. Let me just let me just say the last thing. Bro, stop it. It's bullshit. shut the fuck up. Scobo would be the gay prince. But you don't want to do that. Do you know who my father is?

I like Thomas, not him. The heir of Baguio Pia. Prince Valle. There we go. The last thing is just saying, six of cups reversed is reminding you that you can't give to them until you give to yourself first. It's just reminding to this man. Nothing about my career.

There's nothing that says you're going to make it. She didn't do a full one. That's what she did a half one. What, why don't you do a full one? I want a career. Because we can barely get through the three. She wants you to nurture your terrible career. What?

What? She's trying to give your terrible career. What? What? What? What? What? She's trying to get me to be a teacher. What? What? What?

Fuck. What? Alright. Is there any way I can just pick one card out of there and you can- You want to ask about career? I want to ask about career and pick a card. That's what I want. I want to know.

I want fucking some juice baby. I want some ask about career and pick a car. That's what I want. I want to know I want fucking some juice baby I want some fucking medieval. I want some spiritual mojo. I want you a vibes I want your energy and my energy to merge. I want an orange beam of light between our fucking senses I will do this but just so you know the message you needed to really hear was about this inner child I'm gonna. That's the more important thing. I'm telling you right now. More important than your career, by the way. I'm gonna go home tonight,

and I'm gonna put my hand in my chest. I'm gonna go back to that little bobby in the basement. That's what I call them. Bobby in the basement, I'm gonna go, you know what? I'm gonna bobby. Let me tell you something, you get up, pick your head up out of that dirty floor. Don't eat that fucking ring-think, Bobby.

I'm gonna put that ring-think down. You don't need four ring things. Okay? You eat your peanut butter and jelly that your mom made you even know it had too much jelly and the bread was wet. She wrote a note in that, Bobby. You know what I said? I love you, Bobby. Even though she did it to fuck with you and make the other kids hate you. Passive aggressive content. We should have done this. We should have done this. You fucking wrote those notes, you bitch. Sorry, Bobby, Bobby. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,

sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,

sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, I don't get the picture. She smiled. It's good. That's why I get nervous because it was like the devil card reverse.

Let's set me up. This is the bananas and Poughkeepsie card. I really wish it was. This is my theme show at the stand on the Monday. All right, here we go. Okay, it's Trumpeting. Listen, listen, it's judgment, the call to awakening. And it's saying that, I can't say whether or not you're going to suddenly get like a

shitload of money, but I can tell you, something waking up and you you're going to have a new idea. Something that's not along the same road. You're going to jack it. You have a new idea. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. You're going to eat five ring things.

Generally, you're going to eat two TV. You're going to eat two TV. Okay. So it's going to be an idea that's not the kind that you've been having though. It's not gonna be the typical what you would normally think of. As you deal with this and you wake up,

because this waking up is almost waking up in a more spiritual sense, it's gonna be a different kind of idea to go with. Right, but it's gonna be huge. I don't know. I'm gonna have millions, right? I know what I'm talking about. I'm asking for something.

I never know about that. Ask if it's gonna happen. That's not my, I don't give people's names, that's not my gift. I can just feel into your pain and make you cry. Let's take one card, is you gonna be a millionaire? A millionaire, million. Queen of cops reversed. Did you have that one?

Shut up, scopo. It's actually, it's once again talking about your sensitive. Really? He can't ask too much. Let's be ugly in my face. Bobby Kelly's new one-man show. I cried in the base man Coming off. I mean seriously, but that would almost be the way to like you honestly Yeah, it's that what this is saying is going more in that direction. Okay, and cracking you open into that sensitive place

It might not be what your typical thing is, but that's kind of where to go. You know, I could take care of this with three words Magic eight ball over here that That. Yeah. What is that? I don't know. I don't know. So much fun here. Can I can I for a second to see the cards? I won't do absolutely. Okay. Look, if he threw them out the window, I would literally never do the show again. Hey, you see this coming Let's pull your career alright you tell me when to start right? Yeah, no, no you're not doing the card You can't do that Sorry, hey listen fucking god I have the most insane magic trick that would have blown all your minds That's nothing to do with cards. Oh my jack it on you would have clapped. Yes, what?

What buddy that's that cards hates you now? Yeah, no would have clapped. Yes, still. That's what, buddy. That card hates you now. Yeah. No, it's not, I'm not now. Can I say something on my show? It's not real. It's hate. Hey. Oh, no fuck.

Fuck. What's your name, Al? Listen. Yeah. I wasn't being insulting. It wouldn't have been easy. That's like picking up the Bible going, hey, pick a fucking page.

John Carithians, hey, something you you have the gift I don't have the gift Yeah, but it's like this is my deck that I work with Let's be honest come on what are we talking about here? It was all good I'm with it Dude it was all good. I'm with it Bad reading mine I was gonna get a Re invite well, she's gonna blowing mine. I just farted. I didn't mean to I don't pause it's fine. You're gonna have seven years of shitty luck

Go back to the You're just run to the god. It's not a big deal. How funny if you get hit by a fucking truck right? Oh my god, I would laugh so hard We don't visit in the hospital you wake up with just tarot cards. I love you hit by a fucking truck right off my god I would laugh so hard we don't visit in the hospital you wake up with just tarot cards all over your house we don't have red noses all right what did you say we don't have red noses yeah give me that where is that yeah I love that first first time everybody first time she's got the bomb bandana sexy Kelly and her big vagina with a fucking cherry stone in it.

Why, it's set. Why, it's set. She has an E flip vagina. All right, this is going to wrap it up. You guys have been great. Real quick, twick.io.com go there. What's the code on twick.io? Dude.

And we got Amazon, use the link on the page. We have two great new shows coming out. I know one great news show coming out. We're gonna be announcing, and we're not seeing this week, right? I don't know. I think you're coming out next week with this show. Okay, so we're gonna announce

an amazing news show coming out here on RiotCast, which I'm very excited about. We have a great new feature heading to the YKWD podcast for you, true fans who want to support us. And we're making things a lot easier for you to listen to the show. Those will be announced very soon. I know we've been pumping them up every week.

So we're going to do right now. We're going to go around the room. I want to thank you guys coming on. What a fucking great show. I had a blast. I hope you guys did too and come back on again. So we'll go to the room and you tell us what you want to promote. You Twitter, blah blah blah Facebook,

you gig, whatever you got. Awesome. On Twitter, the Kate Wolfe two F's and I have a podcast invasion of privacy. Check it out. Oh, you're the best. Thanks coming on. It was really fun. Thanks for reading my cards. All right. Now go through and what is he? What dates? Tell us what us what dates he has well I'll be dead tomorrow Come into my funeral as I have the god Safe things nice I'm closing my funeral Like a weird dude one of your eyes is actually closing really What do you got brother you take my podcast the rad dude cast and my wife's the rad dude cast the rad dude ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was like, Greg's don't underscore. Okay, what is it Greg's don't underscore? I went underscore. Great, man.

Thank you for coming on. You have a great time. Yeah, great time. Good luck with your stones. Bro, though. There's no, I mean, there's no luck. It's over. I feel like I'll let you know.

You too. Okay. What do you got you fucking sexy? My TV show, 24 Hour Rental. You have a fucking TV show? Yeah, it's on Hulu. What is it? 24 Hour Rental.

What is it about? I've told you this before and then you always go wide. I have a partner. I'm pumping it up for this. 24 hour rental, very dark comedy. It's about these low-end mobsters that run everything out of a video store all those things. And why the fuck am I not on it? That's what you asked last time. Yeah, I know. Why? I do. You're gonna stay in with a fucking... I'm a New York actor. Yeah. I'd say Robert Kelly, New York actor slash comedian. I was filled in Canada. I was filled in Canada.

I was filled in Canada. That's why they wouldn't have been able to afford you, but now with the dollar they can. And my two bucks. She's getting all over America. She's getting all over America. Yeah man. He's going to become a citizen this motherfucker. Yeah.

Not if I can help it. Mr. Manners and American etiquette are both for sale on Amazon. My Twitter is at Ayrin Bird Comedy and it'll be all of the city doing comedy this week. And that's it. Whoa. One of my favorites. What do you got?

First of all, I apologize for being late today. Thank you. Sorry for that. Most comics don't do, I'm gonna tell you something right now. We, you know, we started doing the show. Just fuck it. We gotta go with three. Cause these guys, you know, I have a fucking insane,

Deepu, Lauren and Chris are fucking amazing. Literally, I know I yell at them a lot. Thank you. Because I fuck up, they fuck up. We got nice verbal thrashing today. Yeah, he did, he started it because he fucked up and he's a fucking, I just wanna just say this, okay, and you tell me if I'm wrong.

I love Scopo, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, find out this morning that, oh, not coming, right? Yeah. I call him, I go, when did you know? He goes, oh, yesterday. I go, why didn't you shut up, put it down, you fucker. Oh, I found out he's dying. I found out it was yesterday. I go, why don't you call me?

I did. Twice. You didn't answer. I go, I was on a fucking plane. I go, you couldn't send an email, a text message, leave a voice message on my phone that would have actually popped up when I landed. Like, the message is scary.

Like, I've drafted emails to you and then I was like, I'm too scared to get a response. Stay out of it. All right. I'll say this. I'll say, Bobby's old school that he'll respond quicker to a voice mail than he will to a text or an email That's what I found in that. You raised your hand. Well Sean was already booked. I found her replacement for Lewis

Yeah, Sean. Yeah, okay, great. Yeah, I replaced Lewis. Yeah, why the fuck you tell me that I would Imagine if Lewis it was just she would have just fucking I wish that's why I wanted Louis here to give him the I'll give my real as tell me What is this three-card Monty taken so long Devil with nine spears The 12th podcast People cast. Literally, I'm fired today. Literally, Deepo's color is blue. Wait, can you finish the compliment because you cut short?

You cut short. Okay, so I really, I really want to sociopath I am. I'm just going to say this, I know I'm a sick person and I apologize because I like things a certain way. But these guys are fucking amazing. So, I'm going to. Wait a minute, why was I complimenting you guys? Wait, but these guys are fucking amazing. So yeah Why was I come in? No, what was I? Why was they saying that you were having you were sitting on me?

What you were he said sorry for being late and then you were oh well I love these guys, but people don't show up a lot and you know, we just go because I these guys show the fuck up on time Ready to go and it's unfair to me to expect them to stay another half hour to an hour, because one of you fucks is late. Absolutely. Right, so we just fuck it, we just go at three, and you show it up, but that's very nice of you. My thing is, very nice of you to apologize.

Most comics just show up and go, boo, you're a fucking, you're a sweet guy. Oh, thank you, buddy. I, so I'm just finished, I have have an album that's out right now. I Really just think I should just turn him on I have I'm at show any time on Twitter and I have an album out of all manual labor face that you can buy on iTunes I fucking I didn't get a chance to listen to it, but somebody I know who did and said it was really fun Yeah, really Ralphie Mae got really upset about that.

Yeah. You don't look like you. You look like you make maple syrup. Come on, player. You make maple syrup, fight. Not work and face. Tell Separatys not one of the greats. She made me one of the goods.

Oh, good, great player come out That's nice of you to say I didn't know that somebody said that actually nobody said that Mother fucker I'm kidding somebody did say but I'm not gonna tell you on air What do you? Hey Steven? Is that your name? Steven no shit. Remember his name and not Greg's It was great throughout the show. Thank you. Oh, I call them L just because it's that Italian Fucking gumball face. He's got 70s. Oh, they got that like he fucking Julie has Julie Artface

You have a good time buddy. I had a great time. Thanks for coming in man. That's for having me You got it man. Thanks for listening to the show Maybe we'll see if we get a parting gift for you if we have one. I wish I had my stone How's it going? Thanks for coming in, man. Thanks for having me. You got it, man. Thanks for listening to the show. Maybe we'll see if we get a party and give for you if we have one. I wish I had my stone. I think we have a post. It's stone, but. That's mine.

Anything that comes out of you a fucking game badge is this studios. We have a nice poster. We'll all sign today if you want and we'll give it to you. What else? You got something to say? Yeah, if you don't mind. You're going to plug a union. I'm like, you've got the meeting and the South side of Brooklyn, everybody come.

We're petitioning action for to zero. Yeah, blow up rat will be out front. Blow up rat. I'm playing hooky to be here. So, and union day at city field May 7th. What's up? Seriously talking about everything the whole thing with Amy and all that. Yeah, I'm a huge fan of comedy. That's what being here is like, Scope will hook me up.

I can't thank him enough. I'm not really into sports. Like, this is probably like some of my friends sitting with their favorite athletes. You know what I mean? Like, you guys rock. Listen to you every week. All the best. Mainly me, but them too.

Yeah, be like me, like, Arod and they're like fucking tripple it. I get it. When you say athletes, you mean like bowlers right? Earlier You say you love it all right? Shut up Mullet listen from remote control hair Hi

I knew I was walking into here but I think I listen to you every week I listen to a lot of the podcast you feel like you guys are so open so I don't get involved like I just listen on the huge fan I feel like I know you guys so people online I think they just they really feel like they have a place to say stuff maybe because it's not just your standup It's you're here every week talking about your life. Yep, so they think they could just say whatever they want I mean, yeah, so I kind of understand where they're coming from, but right it's not taking their sides No, I don't know he's're coming from, but it's not taking their sides. No, I don't know.

He's trying to say, hey guys, I know you guys, you do. I want you trying to say. Yeah, I know what you're trying to say. They open up the trash us online because we trash each other. I don't think they should. I don't think they should. What are you saying? You're dumb.

No, what are you saying? What are you saying? No, I don't think they should. I don't think you guys should get trash. I just think that it's misplaced. Like they feel like they, I just feel very positive. I just, I just looked at Aaron and he looks like a Jewish

or Joe Rogan. I just, I just looked at Aaron and he looks like a Jewish or Joe Rogan. The mic was covering his face and he was just like, like kind of like, Hey, John, what do you mean? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, muzzle tough. Okay Steve. No, I don't think it's right.

I just think that that's where they're coming from. I don't do it. Oh no, I know where it's coming from. Okay Steve. No, I don't think it's right. I just think that that's where they're coming from. I don't do it. Oh no, I know where it's coming from. It's look man. We make what we do look easy, but we also do it to, we all care about each other a lot. And the thing that people don't get, there's another thing with Amy,

that she got in trouble for fucking telling that kid, okay, here's what people don't understand. Ready? Amy's in line. She's vulnerable. She's scared. She's going on a ward show. Okay, this is amazing to her too.

Don't think that she's not nervous because she's Amy Schumer. She's dressed up. She's probably insecure like the rest, every other fucking comic. And then she shows up in this little kid with her father interview, and it's an amazing cute interview.

So she's in that mode. If she knew this guy was a little fuck, if she saw me there she'd be like, oh fuck I'm gonna get a pounding for Bobby. If me and Keith were sitting there she'd be like, I know what to expect. She's a kid father probably had a great interview left to go that was really sweet that kid. What a nice guy. What a nice little kid that was so adorable that made me feel good right which we can feel good too. And then she goes in and reads some fucking, oh, she's a horde twig.

And she's like, you fucking asshole. You set me up. You were sweet, nice, cute, little kid. I thought you were, I was over here and then you fucking hit me over here. And that's all she was saying. And then he was like, shit, I'm sorry. Yeah.

And then she was like, don't worry about it. It's cool. It's over. You fucking caught me. It was a Misunderstanding, but he set her up to be this cute little fucking paparazzi. She didn't expect that reaction. No, she didn't expect you're a horror or Some shit. Yeah, and that doesn't you just because you're a fucking actor a movie, you know, and she talks a lot about that shit Doesn't mean you can say well you have to take every whore comment from every Every single person in the world because that's how you make your money off of being a whore or talking about

Fuck you. I agree, but in all fairness. It was a very taint shot up It was a very tame whore comment. It wasn't like a look It was like I got to spend the night with Amy Schumer right here. It wasn't cheap but that bad How sorry I agree it was kind of fucking weird I just I was just very good dude she's on the fucking carpet you you have a walk a red carpet yeah yeah right yeah walked one it's it's fucking you nerve wracked when you do it I'll tell you right now dude I'm a

fucking you know I've I did it this year with the sex and drugs comicon it's nerve wracking dude I'm sitting here J.L.O. is I did it this year with the sex and drugs, Comic-Con, it's nerve-wracking. Dude, I'm sitting here, J-Lo is with Deepuiz. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm fucking shit. I mean, dude, I'm a human.

She's done it nine million times. I'm sure she's nervous still. Kevin Bacon is to my right. Okay, and I'm like, what the fuck is going on? So, you know, you're nerves, you're fucking nervous, you're sensitive. Feel the same way about birth. Feel the same way about birth.

But, you know, there you go. So, yeah, I know what you're saying, dude. I get that you guys are all, you know, you can't, you know, I don't know, we block everybody, but, you know, you gotta be able to fucking understand what we're the fuck. We're human too, man.

Just because we fucking make people laugh and we bust each other's balls. We don't go to your job and go, hey, what's up? Fucking curly fucking shit hair. You know what I mean? Honestly, I felt like that coming up here today. I was nervous.

And people would think I'm crazy. Like, I call it my wife. I'm like, I don't even know if I could do this. Because I'm like, he really was serious. He really was so far. Come on, that's crazy. Let's go, folks, I could tell. So I don't want to I could do this. Because I, he really was serious. He really was so far. Come on, that's great. Let's go, Bo could tell. So I don't want to come off the wrong way,

but I feel like I know you live in a life I wish I could live, I wish I was a comic. I'm digging ditches in the street, and listen to you, and I just feel like I know you guys. So I'm not justifying it, I'm just saying I think that's where it comes from. No, you're right, man, and we get it.

I mean, I get it, you know, like I understand that. And look, the only reason why we do any of this is for you, when you're in that fucking hole in the street doing what I can't do, because I'm not fucking, I don't have that ability because my brain doesn't work like that. You're serious, because I've dug, you know, I've done that shit, I've worked like that.

I just couldn't do it. I'm not construction, I'm just kidding. You have to have a fucking, the thing that you do that I can't do is finish something like that. I would always fucking walk away halfway through. I know, I felt something but I'm roof wants. I feel asleep in a cornfield. I feel so weed it.

I woke up to this fucking big dykes foot. She grabbed me by the fucking ear. Fucking awful. So yeah, we do this for you guys, man. We sit here, do your podcast. Everybody's podcast is for you guys to have something to fucking listen to. So, you know, we appreciate it.

Yeah, well, we appreciate you, man. Thank you, man. Thank you. We're out of the park. Thank you, man. Aaron, fucking give him a hand job, Aaron. Actually, even better than that fuck Chris is at all right all right buddy thank you for coming up what do we got deep what

do you got you can follow me on Twitter at or to a deep who I'm around doing stand-up being scared of you doing all of it you scared me a little bit actually very much so we you know I love you do you I always say I would I don't have people around me that I don't, you know, I love you. Do you? I always say that. Are you sure about that? I don't have people around me that I don't like. Do you understand that? Well, I feel like I've been on Thin Ice with you since, like, July. So.

So, it was more like May. Oh, right. I said you've been doing great. You did great every week. I come from the night now. I know. Well, that's my plug, I guess. What do you do?

I think you're doing great. Oh, thanks. TV is a bit fire today. Oh, thanks. I thought you were hilarious today. Yeah. Great. I mean, not on the show, but right before the show started.

Yeah. I was crying laughing. Yeah, you had a couple great lines. Yeah, thanks dude. I do it. I wish I could loosen up on the during the show, but I'm like multitask and it and it's that's what I blame Working the cameras. Yeah, you're one of my boys

But I'll join your you're one of my boys, and I think you're getting Funnier and funnier. Oh, thanks. Yeah, so great line before yeah Great line on you on the other hand. You're just one of my boys What are you got this Thursday the listening live? I just wanted my boys. No, I'm kidding. You want your dates? What do you got? This Thursday, the listening live, I'm at a New York comedy club producing a show there. It's come out. If you want to get cheap tickets, $5 tickets, use the code word beer.

You get $5 tickets at the door. My God, it just made me want to cry. I wanted to go into the fucking, fucking basement where he's working this weekend. Talk to that boy. All right, what do you got? It's at Lauren Cubera, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. Have you got any followers from the show? Yeah, yeah, good to know.

Good. If you have to send anything here. 117 McDougall Street, care of Robert Kelly or the YKWD podcast. If you want to come in on the show at YKWDproducer at RoyCast.com. Lauren, what do you got? I got nothing. That was it really.

All right, what do I got? You got your dates this weekend, you're back in Florida, the Sarasota, in Sarasota, Florida at Macherdy's Comedy Theater. I've never played there, but it looks like a fun room. This weekend, if you listen in live,

spread the word retweet, even if you're not fucking going just you know This is how it works retweet it what I tweet and tell your friends tell people help us Yeah, and then the weekend after that. That's February 4th 5th 6th You're at stand-up live in Phoenix, Arizona and then the weekend after that February 11 12 13th You're at the comedy scene and Foxboro, Mazda's and then I start filming fucking sex drugs and rock and roll Oh, can I say one more thing? Yeah, please be at the Syracuse funny bone this weekend Thursday to Sunday Awesome, and can you say my last date again? So I'm the last person. I'm sorry

One more thing I man check out Robert K. Live dot com for all my stuff You can email me there too. You can check out all my shit up there Make sure you follow all these people on Twitter if you like the show today. It's been a fun time. You guys listen and live. Thanks for joining the chat room, Patrick.

What's up, motherfucker? And thanks for coming up. We'll see you guys next time on the, you know what,WD podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet.

And they're all free. And they're all free. Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid a Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com.