Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Big Enis

Episode Date: January 9, 2017

This week on YKWD: We have Sean Donnelly and Mark Normand! We discuss some listener-suggested great moments from the past year, belittle Mark's home town, and wax poetic about deep sea creatures found in the Baltic Sea (it's funnier than that sounds) . Watch / Listen and enjoy! RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network Riotcast.com Welcome to the funniest podcast on the planet earth. This is going to be a costifier. It's podcast. No rules. What are the micassholes? I'm sure I've already said should I regret it? Can I get a microphone?

No! That was trying to keep it like a comic ad. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's sad to have no topics, no directions. I love doing it. Play both sides of the coin.

That's not what I'm supposed to do. That's what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to do anything. My podcast is popular enough. I might affect some of these lines. You never know. It's Robert Kelly, so you know what to podcast on flightcast.com. We're back. We're back. I'm very proud to announce that we sponsor Blue Apron. It's back.

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the other day, the amount of food that we throw out is fucking astronomical. Yeah. We went to that guy lunch, man comic lunch. Just saying that, you guys just want to pretend you're the shit, so you guys all have food together. Yeah, I saw things. Someone wasn't it by the end.

That's about her. Well, the amount of food that was wasted was just incredible. You got that radisi over here. And here's a, here's the impact in the household, we can say this, because you're a home, it's actually better. You're a home cooking with your family.

Cooking to that Bill's strong family bonds that you have. All of us, we have no bond. No, it is, it's true. We cook a me and Max and my wife, we cook together. Research shows that Blue Apron families cook nearly three times more often. Those who spend a lot of time at restaurants or high-end grocery chains can now, they can spend 10 bucks per person for a delicious meal. Okay, they got a bunch of great stuff coming up spicy shrimp and Korean rice cakes with cabbage and fiori cake, pork chops and garlic, pachata, fiori cake, okay. I don't know what that is.

I know what that is. Farrow cake. Farrow. Yeah, right? I don't know. The Greek ingredient. I don't think it's Korean recipe spicy shrimp and Korean rice cakes with cabbage which is Korean and Fury of kick But they got pork chops as I love oh god They're pork chops again. This is a garlic pucata and a scallion of rice and spinach sure that sounds so good doesn't it? Yeah, it does so check it out. This is what you do guys Check it out this week this this week's menuing. All you do is you get your first three meals free.

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Make sure you join our beautiful premium membership right now going your phone, your iron dried or iPhone. And download the, you know what dude, Robert Kelly app. Believe. Robert Kelly's you know what dude app. Or I'm just laxic, so. Yeah. Download it. A lot of you, son of a bitches of members, and I love you. I got dude, or I'm just laxic. So download it a lot of you son of a bitches of

members and I love you. I got a new show I did for premium members only this. This week and so it's relief when you burp because up until then you're just choking on air. Yeah, it could be in at the end of the show. Oh, you'd be so happy if I fucking dropped dead on the show. I'd have a week off at least I was appreciate You would drop dead deep it wouldn't murder me immediately

No, no witnesses. Well turn the web cams off first. Let's go in white order people Why leave them on and be famous Murder on air murder on air Anyways, yeah, so you become a member join 199 a month. It's nothing comes right out of your phone bill there Whatever right? Well, your card you sign up with your card. Yeah, sign up your card. It's great But you get premium content. I'm gonna try to get a couple of my friends on one-on-ones this month I know they have a little time. So we got some great episodes up there right now. We got great video and some great audio episodes.

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What else? So I believe Lauren had a good idea for a segment. Yeah, we got a new segment. I love segments. Do we have a name for the segment? Yeah, we have a name for the segment. Lauren's segment. The best of 2016.

The best. So you would have, if you had the food fighters, the best, the best, the best right now, we would play that. Do you want to get flagged for that? No, I don't. Okay. No, all right. Apparently, you want to be a fag for that and not have fun.

It's the ultimate out. I could be like, well, you two will flag it. So I don't want to pull it up. I know. I hate when you do it. It really is. It just aggr- Well, you go, we'll get flagged.

I'm like, these are your jobs, I know he's doing his job. I know he's doing his, my new, my new his resolution, I'm going to try not to get mad. Okay. Whoa. That's big. I mean, I've never heard that before. Okay. so I asked our social media followers what their favorite moments from 2016, YKWD was. Yes. Joseph J said the return of Joey Rose's episode. That was a great one. Yes, a lot of people said that. When we saw Keith Robinson in the hospital and Keith replied, I'm just kidding with you. Oh, yeah, when he came out. Yeah, well, oh, you guys fucking stroke. He T-Rex arms And we were all I literally went oh no, it just came out and when I'm just playing motherfucker Mark said the episode where Bobby and stuff baby talk food. I think Tim Dylan was there too. Oh, that was a good one

Yeah, yeah, you always got to love a food episode with another couple fatties. You know, especially Stavvy, Stavvy, man. God, that we could me and him and there's nobody. But he we're sitting at a restaurant yesterday at the the the he man woman here's club that that Lewis has should have been there. Right. Yeah. You should have. There's a lot of Indians. We're right in the middle of the table. There was just a lot of Indians working with Brazilian restaurants. Yeah, it's all Brazilians. It was a great time.

It was like 30 people. You should have got an invite. No, I don't think so. It's a group of people who were kind of further along and like kind of working than we were so old. I agree. You swayed me. For the record, I have been invited to shit

and I've turned it down. So anyways. Yeah, it was a great time. Really a lot of fun. A little quiet for me. Everybody was eating and being polite because it's not all, you know, there's pockets of friends.

Yeah. There was a little, today I was looking at the, I was looking at where people were sitting and I was like, okay, that's a quiet corner right there. But I was actually, I think you sat them in order of fucking relevance in the business. Wait, Louis sat there, could he make play starts?

Dan Soder, Dan Soder was way at the end with Andrew Schultz and then me and Aaron Berg and we'll wait on the other end. But yeah, it was a good time. We have another one that says, Mindy says the outburst about the VT dumpling lady. The Vermont dumpling lady. Yeah. What I do, did you look up what I did?

You didn't even do that, did it? No, I didn't know what it meant. I'm gonna be honest, I don't remember any of these moments. I don't know, or Keith pretended to have his stroke on the air. Yeah, and what was the first one? Joey Rose is coming. I remember that. Yeah, of course you remember two of them out of the four you remember two That's that dad just to fuck why don't I have a water? My buddy

It's literally like I can't you know, that's my fault. I know who's fault But I'm not yelling. Okay. All right, what's the best one? What's the most uploaded moment of the year? Moment of the year, do we have any music for moment of the year? Ready?

Moment of the year? That's like, that's shocking. Your tribute to scope, leaving. Really? Yeah. That was a funny moment. The whole show changed at that point. Yeah, we changed everything We started doing this the new just us kind of wrong people rolling in

Mm-hmm, and I'm sorry to say Yamaneek is not gonna be here today. I don't think I'm very I love Yamaneek She's such a cool girl, but she had some personal stuff go down So you know my our thoughts and prayers are with her and I say that and Without being fucking labeled and fucking for saying thoughts and prayers? Yeah, you know, there's somebody going, do Bobby lost it? It's fucking sensitive. I think you can say that. No problem. I called up Marina Franklin. Yeah. Yeah. This weekend for smooth things over. No, I called her up. I go you got me You got me with your passive aggressive She got me she got me to flip out. Yeah She got me she she pulled that she pulled whatever move she pulled

Quite you know, and then she got me and I snapped But here's the thing is the last man that I pulled the nose up and I apologize and I got out of it She almost got me I would almost jumped over the table and hit a woman. No, I'm kidding. I would never do that. But yeah, it was, it was a pretty heated episode. Anyways, what else you got? We could do some good fan bad fan. Yeah, let's do some good fan bad fan. First of all, can we stop? Stop. I'd like to know what you did for New Year's. New Year's, I was at the Creek in the cave. I went to the gathering there. And what happened? Do you go on stage?

No, I wasn't booked on the show there. I tried to do the mic. They had an open mic going on at 10 o'clock down the stairs. I tried to jump on the back end of that, but the host, the one that was running it didn't know me because I haven't been going to her fucking open mic. Well, don't get, see, if she listens to this, though, she's gonna hear your tone.

My god, I'm gonna listen to this. Who cares? That's the truth. She hasn't seen my face around. Other people have. They would have thrown me on, but I got turned away and whatever. I hung out at the party, had a beer, saw Stavros. Did he go on? He wasn't doing the mic. I think he was just networking or whatever. And that worked hanging out. Hang out?

Yeah, I hung out a little bit. I love Creek and the Cave, man. It's a cool place. Look, you have to support this place. You have to. People do. It was bumping there. It should, yeah, she's got a fucking,

but I'm saying you gotta, during the week, weekends. It's a beautiful spot out there in Long Island City. You gotta support it because that, you get there, they're making the future mother fuckers are coming out from under there, you know? What did you do? It's you know, what would you do? It's really sad. What'd you do? I literally laid in bed with my dog, watch the ball drop on television And then fell asleep. That sounds like a beautiful what am I?

Oh, it was really great. I relaxed. I did nothing. You get drunk. Have some wine or something. No, I took Just like a muscle relax That is so Jersey chick. That's so Jersey chick that's so Jersey chick that's fucking that's what are you 50? How old you a 30 I just turned 30 like to 30 going on 50 I know I mean a dog a muscle relaxer and then you're better new years Literally you should just fucking end it. She thought she was hallucinating Mariah Carey's flop. Oh my God, I was alone watching it. I was like, what the fuck is going on? Can we talk about that for a second?

What happened? Her. Let's bring it up on the show today, too. So get that video. Yeah, that's cute of you. Basically what happened was Mariah Carey doesn't sing live anymore. So she needs her audio of her singing

and it didn't pop on and never worked. So she just ran around the stage like a maniac. So they needs her audio of her singing and it didn't pop on and never worked. So she just ran around the stage like a maniac. So they fucked her. They fucked her for two songs and she had to take it up there for two songs. And then everybody's turning on her. Is she trying to get the fuck things outside on New Year's? Yeah. It's who the fuck who's it?

Look at rock band sing live. Aren't these women singers don't sing live. Yeah. Can we just stop with that fantasy? Yeah. Katie Perry didn't sing live. You know, Britney Spears, whoever the fuck they don't sing live. Stop with the thing. We know that they're coming out. She's coming out and it's you get to see Mariah Carey lip sync her songs Outside in a leotard in sub zero degree weather. Yeah, but it just really fell apart like they played the wrong song and then I guess there's no exit strategy They never planned like what happens if they play the wrong song the dancers kept going then she's putting the mic to the crowd trying to get the crowd Involved it was really sad. I felt really bad. Yeah, well, she's done.

Oh, yeah, she's toast. It reminds me of having a set where you kind of mail in and up top and the people that just lose faith and you completely, and then you're just kind of... Even the crowd do. Yeah, I get it. It's like, it means give up on the rest of the set. What else can you do? Sometimes you can't win a back.

But it's almost like some sound guy or somebody in the business is like, let's take this bitch out. Fuck all right. Sure, yeah. Let's take this bitch out. Cause she's not gonna like, it's a trick. You just leave the camera on her.

Let the world just soak in. Yeah. What a fuck up this is right now. She's not well liked that I know. Not anymore. Someone could have fucked her on purpose. I'm not even kidding. I mean, look at, I mean,

Whitney Houston with Downer flames, still. Yeah. Same way. she sang and something happened right? Yeah I don't keep a track of pop culture, but these are women that are known to have you keep track of your comedians I would be not why would you keep trying? How did Whitney Houston die? I know she died. Yeah, you should know that crap pipe She might be on fire with us, which are probably never much what? She OD in a tub. That's her daughter. No, that was Whitney to look it up Both of them they both did her daughter tried to

Can you look it up when you computer now that you have a computer? Thanks mom. Yeah, thanks mom Fuck it. My home's the best Anyways, what time are these people showing up? 3.45. Seven minutes. I, um, I think... When Houston's death was caused by accidental drowning, but heart disease and cocaine were contributing factors.

Okay, so she died from drugs in a, in a bathtub. Right. And her daughter died the same way. Yeah. God damn. Oh, man. These mother-daughter's deaths, man. It happens a lot apparently.

Yeah, but the daughter like held on on in a coma for a long time. All fucked up. It's just sad. Yeah. I'm watching this. I love my Facebook feed. I love it. Because the things that I've liked,

there's liberal stuff, there's conservative stuff, there's gadget stuff, and then there's just silly shit. You know, new stuff. So I like to go there for my news in the morning. I don't know how you have to be careful because the fake news, but I want to, what a fucking noise me the most is parents who videotape their kids being hurt.

Yeah. And they put it on Facebook somehow That video gets on Facebook. Are you talking about the kid who fell under the dresser? Yes, I pulled up. Yes It's fucking disturbing. Let me know when you get it. It's disturbing. Which camera should I use? Well, is it gonna come to come up on our video? How? Where? We're just going to move the microphone.

Yes. I'm going to move. Yeah. I'm going to do it. So, it's... You know, my Facebook feed is what every single one of my friends married divorced oh no My wife that's my wife hang on let me just get it. Okay, baby

We're in the middle of the show right now. What's up? Oh? Sorry, I was just calling you back. I saw it. We're wide in chance of the phone earlier Because I didn't know it was ringing. We were playing in his bedroom. And I didn't get out there until just now and saw that you called. Oh, it's a long time. What if I needed, what if I was on the side of the road?

I needed you. What if I was being attacked by a bear, what, an hour? What if I knew, what if I was on the side of the road? I needed you. What if I was being attacked by a bear, and you're my only hope? What if an alien ship came down and just took me and they'd let me go if they talked to you? And I'm done. What happened? Don he was fine, don't worry.

Yeah, I know. Answer the question. You probably would have called me back 700 times. You know, answer the question. You probably would have called me back 700 times. I know what I gotta go. Goodbye. I don't know how to say it. Bye, Max. Bye.

Bye, Max. Bye. I love you, kid. Where are you? I'm at the studio. You wanna come here sometime? Ah, why? I'm doing a show. I'm doing my podcast. One on one, do it one on one. Do you wanna come here sometime? I'm doing a show, I'm doing my podcast.

One on one, do it one on one. Do you want to come in sometime? Yeah. Yeah, who's your favorite song? It's the World Blossom. What's the song? BC Boys into Galactic. Oh, you got them into the BC Boys?

Yeah. Awesome. What about Bon Jovi? You like Bon Jovi still? Yes. Oh, you got him into the Beastie boys? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Awesome. What about Bon Jovi? You like Bon Jovi still? Yes. Yeah, I like Bon Jovi still.

All right, what's your favorite Bon Jovi song? Uh... Mmm... The green one. It's my life? Yeah, it's my life. All right, I'll see you later. Bad medicine, like bad medicine?

Yes. All right, I'll see you later. Bad medicine, like bad medicine. Living under the bed. Yeah. All right, I'll see you later, buddy. I love you. Why not? You just give me the wrap-up sign for my kid. Sorry, I was in the same seat. Oh, since I took, I'm sorry. All right, I love you, buddy.

I'll see you later. I love you. Bye, bye. Bye. We don't, don't. People just gave me the wrap-up sign on Max. Yeah, good. Good look at her. What you sorry? Okay. Yeah, you point the knife at me. That's I'll take it Tom will stab you too I love you baby. Bye Max. Sorry. I was just bye. I was just reacting to the chatroom, Bob

I'm just reeling Those savages is what fucking eight people dude. We are making them sit through you talking to your kid. Oh He's got a point Have a question for all our female The 18 Yeah, so let's put the Lauren put on the person number pet five so you can show the clip. Yeah, there's no audio I don't think it's just the video. So we have the kid

Is this where's this mother from not you? Oh? One two three four five six It's like watching a monkey learn how to like climb a tree or something Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. It's like watching a monkey learn how to like climb a tree or something. Oh. Oh my God. It seems worse than it actually is. Oh. It seems worse. it actually is. Seems worse.

I can't. God, this is a year. Let me put some music on. I can't. Yeah, can we watch it with music? Toast. Some happy music. Yeah.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my god. Oh my god. She's gonna miss the evening. It's so evening. It's so evening. It's so evening. She's gonna miss the evening.

Oh my god. Oh my god. She's killing him. Oh my god. Oh, my God! Be kidding me! Oh! Call your bugger! Oh, my God! Alright, here he goes. Oh, that's awesome. That's a great story.

That's a story about good parenting. Alright, listen, here's the fucking deal. Yeah. That was hard. First of all, was the music a second kid? The music. The music actually made it like a chaplain film. It was actually kind of...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was hard. First of all, it was a new... This is why I have a second kid. The music actually made it like a chaplain film. It was actually kind of... It made it very, it made it cuter.

Does she play any kids getting hurt videos with that music? That's my YouTube channel, Bob. Check it out. What? It's called a pain tunes. Pain tunes? Sorry, that was horrible. What? 3, 4 was horrible. What?

3, 4, 5. All right, bring them up. OK. All right. All right. Oh, we didn't do a good fan bad fan, though. We can do that while we're getting up here. All right, cool.

I want to talk about this more. I want to see if I play the music. I want to play the half first half, and then with the music, see if it's funny. It's unbelievable. Unbelieve parents should be fucking have their kids taken away from them. Well, okay, so that dresser

was had like a bad leg, right? That's why it tipped over, right? It's not the point. Accidents will happen. Mm-hmm. We're the fuck of the parents. You don't hear a dresser fall. Why, you don't leave infants for more than 30 seconds.

No, I agree. And there's a webcam running. It begs a lot of questions. I can't stand these people. Savages. Fucking savages. All right. That's my opinion. Anyways, what do we got?

Good fan bad fan. Let it hit it. And now it's time for some good friend. Bad fan. And now it's time for some good friend, bad friend. Alright our first good fan says, I don't ever write reviews for things because I don't believe in them, but I just had to write one for Bobby's podcast. Robert and his crew are without a doubt the funny group of individuals on the planet. He can't mean me and Warren.

No, he doesn't mean me. He means me and the crew being the, come on, comics that commit. Yes. Right. Well, thank you anyway for the five-star view. I always appreciate it. I'll take that.

All right, we're going to back. We honest, he's beautiful. Our first bad fan, it was a comment one day ago on YouTube by conquering consciousness. He says, Bobby, I love the show, but G's man, you got to ease up. I shut the show off after you scream it at Marina and made it weird. Yeah.

You know, we need to last week, we need Lauren just rubbing your arm. Yeah. Just to calm you down a little bit. Yeah, no, last week was a bad week, man. It was an off week, because we thought we were gonna have the week off. No, I was stressed out.

Very stressed out last week. And then Marina really, you know, here's the problem with that. And, um, hi buddy. Hi buddy. Shiny times here. Yeah, last week I snapped on Marina. But here's the deal buddy. I'm sorry, but I'm a psycho and I snap. I'm not a cool, calm and collective all the time. I wish I could be.

I'm trying to get there through therapy and meetings. I've seen you snap before. Yeah, I'm a fucking psychopath. And if you know anything about me, I feel like you're going to that level again, I think we should bring it down. No. I need her to fucking rub my shoulder.

I need to do it. But, there we go. Okay, perfect. We're listening, bro. Yeah, I get it. But here's a problem with you is that this is how not a fan you are. That you listen to one podcast or whatever and you, you know, oh, shit, I had to turn it

on, I'm done. Okay, fine, turn it off. I get it. I've done that with shows. I've turned shit off. I get it. Now you come back the next week. Yeah, you come back the next week and see where I'm at.

Yeah. I mean, but here's the problem. I admit when I'm wrong. Unlike most people when they argue or fight and that's a friend of mine and we're talking about something that's pretty hot and and touchy and prickly and public eye. I mean, in person. Yeah, we're talking about some, we would have some more shit. Yeah. And I miss under, I miss red Marina. And I thought she was being stupid

and, you know, being passive aggressive and just trying to control the fucking room. And I was having a shit day. And I, you know, Marina, look, Marina is not, she's not no dummy either. No, of course. She knows how to fucking,

you know, push you and get you to flip. She has the same insec's not no dummy either. No, of course she knows how to fucking, you know, push you and get you to flip. She has the same insecurities we have. Yeah, so I, you know, I snapped, not crazy, you know, I fucking lost it, but I immediately, I was like, you know what, I'm sorry, I apologize. What do you want me to do? If you can't understand that, if you can't understand

that people have passions and people lose it and here's a problem What that I have and I've watched a lot of shit this week on YouTube is that and it's my problem too I fall victim to it and I hate it about me is when you're talking about this stuff All this political stuff so social justice shit or whatever PC shit, all they're trying to do is get your man. Yes. They're just trying to say shit. That's incendiary.

And get you mad so you flip out. They're either getting mad or you're getting mad or both people are getting mad. Yes. And that kind of fits in what you just said. Yeah, and I got mad and I lost it. But I got my composure and was like, okay, I lost it. You got me you got me Marina I lost it. Yeah, and I fucking apologize and we moved on I miss under I miss reddit and

Winner so I'm sorry about that buddy, but our woman was she or Z You know, but you know, it was actually a good thing you brought up that topic because we had the most comments we've ever had on our YouTube channel. I don't look at comments at all. Well, stats wise. Yeah, I don't care about that. Some guy posted a petition to,

they said everyone's assigned a petition that we should shut down or we should get everyone that's racist at MTV, out of MTV. Huh. Wait, what? Yeah. What was the, they did this whole thing about white men. Oh, I saw that. Wasn't it like, oh, Yeah. Oh, what was the, it's, yeah. They did this whole thing about white men.

Oh, I saw that. Wasn't it like, oh, dear white men, yes, you know, white men. Yeah, you can just be better. It was a video, right? Yeah. I'm just sick of being lumped.

I'm just sick of being blamed for everything. I'm just sick of it. I'm just not into it anymore. I'm not in, I did nothing and I don't care if you say I did. I didn't. I've just clawed and struggled my way to where I'm at right now is a fucking mid-century ranch, three bedroom ranch,

and West Chest. So I think you're doing better than the guy that posts the petition on a YouTube video. Which got 13 signatures. Very, you know, first got to. I don't like people losing their jobs. I don't want those idiots to lose their jobs over fucking up. I just want them to not fucking, they won't be racist.

They will not lose their jobs. Well, I don't care about it. This is the one thing is that people want people's jobs. That's what, when you should be fired, shout the fuck up for saying something. How the fuck do you, I know. Anyways, I don't want to get into it It just doesn't make sense to me and last week that whole thing with her

You know, I was not in the mood anyways, you know, I've been very Why that did that video let me ask I'm gonna talk about this already because that video go viral and then yeah When fire on the wrong way and the wrong way for they thought it was gonna go the other way We're it was like the most down-v voted video for that week. It's done though the whole thing about white men it's over. Nobody's fucking. The thing that annoys me is like in comedy a lot of people will just say that if you're a white dude they'll just say that right to your face and they're like well not you and it's like well yes me because you're saying the same way you don't want to be stereotyped you're stereotyping right now that's what's happening it's just you're just using the same medicine

that white dude's used on you for all those years on me right now you're doing stereotype right now. That's what's happening. You're just using the same medicine that White dude used on you for all those years on me right now. You're doing the same thing. I was on a show once and this girl, we had a literally 20 minute conversation that was very pleasant. And then at the end of it, she's like, I'm really scared of White man.

I'm like, we just had 20 minute conversation. How do you just get out of me? No, not you. And it's like, well, you just said White men. What do you mean then? What do you mean? Yeah. It doesn't make sense anymore. You know, for a minute, it made sense.

We were all like, wait a minute, we did a lot of bad things. It's like, no, we didn't. I didn't. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, not middle class. Like, people come from blue collar families, didn't. I didn't do shit.

You know? So, fucking whatever. The people, your boss, you know, so fucking whatever. The people that you have boss that you work for did. Sure. Yeah. CEOs. Yeah. Yeah. The CEO that you say get coffee for and go to them and say thank you at the Christmas party. Yeah. He's the guy you want to go fucking screwed. Make a video about people's retirement accounts. Yeah. I just don't get it. But anyways, last week was, uh, you talked to him about it. He'll hear something great to say about it. Now, what's up, Markey? What's wrong? It's just raining. You can't take it. What, what did you, do you just go, when

Markey just jacked up? I thought you were doing it as body. Right? Well, he's out this kid? Yeah, he's pretty shredded. Um, yeah, pretty crazy. Um, but I called Marina anyways the next day. She was with Keith on the phone and I was like, you got me. You got me, you, you got me to snap. But you also known for what 20 years? Of course I've known for, of course I don't, of course I love Marina. You know what I mean?

But I, what's that? She can be cutting. Yeah, she's very cut, but she, I look we're all cutting. I get to happen. I just was in a shit mood too. I I have to I have to add that to you the the recipe. I was in a shit I was in a shit mood last night. I was at home and I forgot you know I did that the you know I did the whole dinner yesterday The the guy dinner. Yeah, the guy. Yeah, yeah, the lunch. Yeah. Yeah, you went I went you you were invited But you couldn't make it It was fun, right? It was a great dinner

A bunch of dudes that I like a lot. Yeah, wow The middle the fuck Look if I say how do you and you don't smile, you know, you're smile, well, you're miserable. I would, hey, how you doing, buddy? Who pay, who pay? Not you. Oh, oh, oh, oh, somebody else.

Fucking insecure, awl. Who, me? Oh, shit. Who paid for the meal? Was it all, everybody pays their own. Yeah, that's not fun. It's around $55. That's the thing about these comic can. What do you mean, that's not fun. You don't pay for the meal was it all with everybody pays your own Fun 55 bucks. That's the thing about these comic hands. Yeah, it's not fun. You don't pay for your meal That's the thing with these comic hangs you know you get invited

Oh, you were the big the guys who are ahead of us are gonna pay for everything and then like everyone's like You gotta buy your movie ticket. How much money do you think I thought it was different? I you know that all you know I'm gonna second Lewis What do you think he's doing? We're gonna podcast? I've seen him in the same jeans for eight months. Well, I gotta invite it to the movies once. I gotta invite it to the movies once and then, like I thought, you know what, you pay. Everybody pays.

You thought they were gonna pay for your mood. Show business, I'm sorry. What are you doing? Go to the bathroom. Just hurry up. In there to the right. Over that way. You know what that is? You know what that is? That's a millennial. That's a millennial thing. How old are you under 30? Yes. That's a millennial. That's a millennial thought process.

A millennial thought process. Yes it is. Like I won't consider it. If I understood the finances of the situation, I would have adjusted. Why would you think that you, why would you deserve a free movie? What are you going? You're not even, where are you killing? They had to, literally, they literally had to have a meeting to invite you. Last night?

The two minute pit mic. Oh, now it's five minutes for five bucks. Oh nice, okay. So, yeah. They literally had to invite you, you didn't go to it yesterday, you it's five minutes for five bucks. Oh nice, okay, cool. So yeah, literally I had to invite you, you didn't go to it yesterday, you should have gone. It was fun. It was a great day, but here's the deal.

I go to this thing, and then I, remember that I had Arlene's grocery. Yeah. Later that night. So as I go to I stay in, I was like, fuck it. I just went all the way home. I, oh, I went to hang with my kid for a little while, which I love, I love he's just a great age to hang with.

We played blah blah blah. They had dinner because I wasn't hungry of course because we fucking stuffed our faces. I know the meat sweats. Oh great. It was unbelievable. And then So then I got to leave around seven to go back in the city for eight and I go all the way in over to the east side. The east side in New York is just a bunch of twats now. He's side in New York is just a bunch of twats now. No. It used to be so cool over there, rock and roll and pong. Oh no, it's like an artist. It's like Goldman Sachs.

It is a, it's a disgusting shit place now. That whole area used to be all like hipster bars and rock and roll bars. Like Motor City. He used to be the shit, Max Fish and all that. I was in, I'm only 20s, that was like the hipster section. I almost got hit by a van on the way down. Some chick driving a rehab van.

You know those rehab vans, like just a little extra. Like they fit like 18, right? They have the added intent on that. The extra van where all the extras get shipped to a fucking room. Right, right, right. And she almost, I mean, wipe me out just cause she wasn't paying attention.

And then I get down to that area, I park, I go out just because she wasn't paying attention. And then I get down to that area, I park, I go on a coffee shop and I was like, are you closing? She goes, kinda, what do you want? And I just went, huh, and I left. I was like, are you, you fucking asshole? Who the? Why, where is the guy who owns this place?

Sorry, or a woman. We are? Fuck, yeah. We are? Fuck, yeah. We're all on this. Yeah, shut it, no, that. I was wondering why you were leaning back. I didn't know.

When you picked this thrilling conversation with this guy, he's talking directly into the microphone. I was like, wait, what is, sorry. I've been here 20 minutes, I had no idea. Oh my god, thank God, I didn't say anything about Yamannique. She's not coming. She's not coming? She can't, something happened.

Oh, damn. Diabetes. No. She can't. Something happened. Oh, diabetes. No. I don't know. I'm kicking it up a notch. I had no idea. I'm sorry. Went to the bathroom.

What a dick. He should call me out. He's on. See, I'm just regular all the time. I heard you're recently homeless. No, I'm back. I got a place. Yeah.

Awesome. There's no way he's homeless. He's got fucking 20 million of Amy's money in his fucking. Whoa. I've been sitting on the money. Jesus, I feel terrible. I had no idea we were on, but uh, sitting on the money, I bought my own apartment.

So I was homeless because they said they would get me in by a certain date, so I got rid of my place. Yeah, we feel terrible for you. Ah, no. And then the apartment, where's your apartment? Seventh and tenth. So you bought an apartment down here?

Yes. One bedroom or two? One. Big? No an apartment down here. Yes. Well, one bedroom or two one big no small. Yeah Enough to bang chicks and write jokes That's all he that's all he needs a smoothie pussy and a no pad I miss those days Especially the fucking middle part of that How's the sex is it so three years and counting what do you mean you haven't had sex three years? Oh, no, no

We fucked my wife Lauren gave me a hand I'm kidding. She looks tired Not for my trick She's a little better knew we were on, I'm sorry. No, no, it's okay. It's okay.

But anyways, I went to Arlene's grocery and then I fucking got mad. The guy who runs it, who's the guy who runs it? I don't know, whatever, I met him. The guy who started it. Yeah, really great guy. What a sweet guy. Really?

Yeah, it was just great. He came back, you're so nice to me. Was there people there? Yeah, it was pretty packed up. Yeah, it was nice. Good room. Yeah, it's You're so nice to me. Was there people there? Yeah, it was pretty packed up. Yeah, it was nice. Good room. It's a good room, but I went out there

and it's like, you know, I just come mad. Cause I'm looking over to the left and there's just some kid, probably some young comic just staring at me, you know what I'm waiting? You know, we're just staring at me, judging. Should just go to the back. You know what I mean? Right. You don't know what that was. Maybe it was the back. You know what I mean? Right.

You don't know what that was, maybe it was a fan. You don't know what that was. No, I fucking yelled at his face. Yeah, I was like, hey, fuck face. I go, first of all, you don't get to have a beard because it doesn't connect. Those are the rules. Okay, so shave it off and be a regular.

You don't get to be one of the fucking hipsters. God, it's such a uniform now. The beer dad. It's just a uniform. It's like a fucking, it's a shitty shirt that you got from Salvation Army with, you know, with a fucking, a, a poodle on it. We're in sunglasses. Okay. Get it. I'm a guy. This is a girl's shirt and I'm wearing it because I don't care because I'm crazy and artistic and fuck. Yeah, shut up. Those guys are getting laid.

They're getting a lot of pussy. I think that's what bothers me. I'm playing with Batman Superman fucking Legos. You guys are all out of fingering chicks and alleys. That's not here. Not this guy. I know you're not. Yeah, what if I want a guy with a beer goes down on you?

Does he get all that shit in there? My girlfriend likes it. Yeah. She likes the tingles. Yeah, but we're talking about a big beer. Yeah, that about when a guy with a beard goes down on you? Does he get all that shit in there? My girlfriend likes it. Yeah. She likes the tingles. Yeah, but we're talking about a big beard. Yeah, I'm talking about a beard where you like, you actually have to wash, you must have to wash it. Yeah, like an ISIS beard.

I don't like anybody who didn't get a beard for an insecure reason. Like I have my beard because I cover my fat face with my beard. That's why I, because I have a double chin and I make, don't forget the money you make during Christmas. Yes. Like Young Santa. Yeah, exactly. But you look older than him. The grand the beer. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. No. If you get a beer because you just look for the reasons you just said, then you're a fucking asshole.

Well, I think that, look, there is a uniform that happens. I mean, you know, whoever's big at that moment in your fan base, that's who people become, you know. I mean, when Dane was popular, a lot of guys were in tight jeans and fucking wife beaters and, you know, going on stage and leaned on an ass cheek and flipping their arms.

Right. Right. Yeah. You know, going on stage and leaned on an ass cheek and flipping their arms. Right. Yeah. You know, and then those are the days, huh? A lot of graphic teas. I mean dice, remember dice is big. A lot of guys were in fucking acid wash and, you know, going out fucking, you know, just standing, delivering awful dick jokes, you know. Oh, yeah.

Good time. I don't see anyone dressing like Louis though. What are you kidding, black t-shirt? Look at all the time. Look at all the. Yeah. I mean, I respect Louis because Louis made me so happy because I think he did one of his specials and he had a stain on his shirt. Yes. Yeah. I was just like that is just that makes me happy because he just didn't really care. Like somebody said, dude, you got to stand and he went, I don't care.

If they don't watch my special because I have a, fuck you, this is funny. Yeah, I kind of like that. You open for his recording with a stand on your shirt, right? Now, as a water stand, I got like three seconds before I went out there. Oh, but I also wasn't being filmed. Yeah, it doesn't care.

It was a drink water. Oh, it was a beer stain. That's right, it wasn't beer stain. It was a beer stain. It was gravy. That's gravy. Thanks for doing that, by the way. Killed it.

Thanks for helping me. Oh, yeah, it was a blast. How about this? So I shoot this special and we have this big idea at the end to have me jump into a gurney and be wheeled out by EMS. Carrie Fisher did that in her HBO and she just died. Carrie Fisher, one woman's show, that was the same exact ending.

So we had to revamp the whole thing, cut it out. It looks like I'm making fun of Carrie Fisher. It looks like I'm making fun of her, it looks like I'm stealing. It looks like, you know, she's in the out. Oh wow. Yeah, so that was ugly. The whole thing was in the can done. We edited it for weeks.

Yeah, so why don't you just leave it and then have Carrie Fisher just, you know, pop out, have you come up with the Princess Leia? Yeah. Yeah. Who's on TV? Hey, oh, right. You killed both those tapings.

That was really, really good. Did you, the second one, did you feel way more comfortable? Way, yeah, you could tell. First show, shaking, shake out. You couldn't, really good. Did you, the second one, did you feel way more comfortable? Wait, yeah, you could tell. First show, shaking, shake out the first. You didn't see my, you were nervous. You just could tell, you really leaned into it. I was a little skipper. Where did you, where did you tape it?

It's a cool place, man. A little lower side, a little off the beaten path. The place called Angel Orazans. It's an old temple that no one got married in. I, you know what I was to this special there? Don't say Dennis Lear. Yeah. That was a myth.

No, why? Yeah, he filmed a special there. It's a beautiful place. It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. They also filmed, you know, the movie Bad Boys? Yeah, sure. And nothing from that movie.

Oh, that was too. That is a beautiful little theater or whatever it is. It's also fitting for Mark because he's obsessed with Jews. Right. Why are you obsessed with, aren't you a Jew? No. You're not a Jew. It's a nice thing everyone's ever said.

He wants to be in the worst way. What are you? Atheist. Really? A Sicilian and friends. Where are you from? New Orleans. Really?

Yeah. You just there with Amy. Yes. I have to say I hate your plate. You're where you're from what Why do you think the same reason everybody hates hot this crime the racial tension? Yeah corrupt cops alcoholism drugs All right the booze yeah, yeah, well, it's not the booze. I don't mind people get drinking the French quarter It's literally every person that's ever been at my show that I've had kicked out are on that street at the same exact time showing their tits. I just annoying. It's just fucking annoying.

I'll say it's a great town, food's amazing jazz, yada yada. Food is not amazing. Ah, what are you getting? Fuck, Jumbalaya is mush. Okay, your bush is right in front of you. It's not a shrimp. Yep, I know you're gonna fucking get pissed. And you know what, gumball right to suck it. I know you're gonna fun.

Get pissed. And you know what gumbo suck a dick. What? It's a mush. It's a mush. Check it out, do we see food gumbo? What is it? What is it?

What is it? What is it? It's a booger. It tastes like a, if you got a green bean and stuck it all the way up your nose and pulled it out your mouth and then gave it to me. That's not that off. All right? And okay, now let's go to your crawfish.

Yeah, it's like a lobster. Yeah, except fucking 17 times smaller than a lobster. It's literally a little time, all this fucking work looks like an insect. A little tiny piece of meat and they go suck the head. That's where all the juices are. There's not, I don't want to suck an empty head. You don't have to suck the head.

I don't have to suck the head. This is fucking stinks. You gotta go through literally 9,000 of them to have any type of, to feel full at all. You have to have 9,000 crawfish. They stay like shrimp though. You know, you never complete my shrimp size.

I'm gonna jump a shrimp. I'll give you that. Fuck you. It's like pizchappos. Jumbo shrimp cocktail. First of all, all right, that's different. You need the whole thing. I got to tell a crawfish. It's a little tiny.

You have to crack open a crawfish. It's all part of it. You hang out all day, you drink, you got a table out. Yeah, yeah. It's important to table to give you the same issue. You can't yeah, it's a good thing. I have the same issue hands smell like shit That's true. I have the same issue with oysters why people love oysters. I don't get it love What the fuck and you get the same thing? You don't get anything from it and it just tastes like salt water nuts. He just tastes like salt water

I'm so good You put the sauce on it then you like the sauce. You don't like the oyster. It's just meat, it's a big, nice meaty, fatty. It's like, boogers, like you just said. That's more like a booger. I'm gonna say something. I'm gonna say something to you and you're a foodie so I can say this to you.

This might help you. I'm gonna eat some foodie. I just eat food. Yeah. I lost weight, so let's not go crazy. You do look great. Thank you so much. Still a gold in the bove.

Okay, listen, I didn't like him either. You know who got me into oysters? Patrice's mom. Really? I hated fucking oysters. I would never touch a oyster. And that Patrice's mom and the guy from... Guy Vazarfoot, no Vazarfoot.

He said something that made sense to me. He goes, it tastes like the ocean. That's exactly what I just said. And I was like, but if you think of it like that, it's not a bad, I was like, oh my God. So when I did that and I tasted it the next time with a little vinegar on it, not the sauce, I tasted it, I was like, oh my God, it does.

It tastes like the ocean, the meat is sweet. If you get the right oyster. Okay, and there, I went to a fancy place in Miami, we went for the South Beach Comedy Festival one time., well, I went to a fancy place in my, I went for the South Beach Comedy Festival one time. I think it was, I think it was booked like a fancy place in Miami, and they were like, oh, they came out on the ice and like,

oh, yeah. And I'll give you this much. I think it's more the social aspect of what people like oysters than the actual, I think on your list of favorite things, oysters wouldn't be your challenge. It is now. Really, I will fucking hunt down an oyster

board. I love oysters. Oh my god dude. Don't try it again to happen. But you got to get scarce for the sweet one. You might like the sweet one. Oh god. If they have a seafood tower, I'm in. Oh god. I'm in. My whole life is a seafood

tower. Yeah. I love that sound. That was the casing. The whole life is a seafood tower. Yeah. I'm with you on the seafood tower. Seafood tower is amazing, but New Orleans buddy, you got, what do you got? A poll boy, a little poll boy. Yeah, what do you think? You know, there's a better poll boy than down there. Don't say it.

Yeah, pop eyes. Oh, you're crazy. I'm not. You're crazy. No, this is insanity. This is like when some open mic guy tells you how to do comedy. Don't get offended at anything. I've never seen No, this is insanity. This is like when some open mic tells you how to do comedy. You know what, Mark, don't get offended at anything.

I've never seen him get this offended. This is a copycock. That's a silly. Mark, listen to me. I've been to New Orleans, New Orleans. This is MUMBO GUMBO. I've been to your place, numerous amount of times. And I've given it a bunch of chances.

And I've fucking been thoroughly bunch of chances and I fucking been thoroughly disappointed. I feel you would fit in down there with a serious sucker suit you're sweating. Oh the vapors. Oh, that's shit. That seems right up your alley. So I have a haggity of yeah. Little Mr. Police office. I saw the young man running down the street with aimers. You and running down the street with aimershumas. And they're waiting for the ball. I do declare the young man was finger-fucking-a-woman on the go. You're like fuck or leghorn over here.

Buddy, I'm telling you, all the main fucking listen. Crophes, you two face shrimp, Creole. Ooh. Creole. Creole. Fuck off. And that's like Maryland with their stupid crabs. They can go fuck themselves, too

Go to crab. You know what you're doing? You go to one of these famous crab restaurants What you get a bib because it's disgusting You get a hammer and a bunch of napkins and you sit there and you do some Minial work that someone should be doing in the kitchen to get the crab meat So you smash you open this fucking crab. They everywhere, and you're getting little tiny pieces of meat. That's the thing. It's, you're not even getting that much out of what you're eating. That's true, I never thought about the big.

And then your hands look like a retina. Your hands look like you just did, you literally performed an abortion in the woods. Also, all these things are from the floor of the ocean. Would you eat anything with the floor? Shrimp? Shrimp, it'll like shrimp. Shrimp? No, I'm not a big shrimp guy. What I don't care I like it with so with the sauce, but that's the cocktail sauce

I don't care listen that that bottom feeder shit. I I get the I never see when they have those those things online where they go into the deep deep ocean and they get those things Yeah, Russia like related to have you seen the ones from Russia? They're terrifying. The ones from Russia pull that up. It's it's it's Russia because they don't give a fuck. They don't have a much, you know, social justice warriors and fucking, you know, chicks with unconditional here and up.

Whatever, you know, down, down, down to the bottom of the ocean. There's only seven of the left. They just fuck it. Oh, they'll just pull up like this one of those fish. They'll just pull it up and frame it and have a talk. Those fish are the ones that did the hacks. They're the ones that did the...

Wait, do you see the fish that the Russian, these Russian deep sea divers pulled up? It's terrifying. It's terrifying. Another plan. Yeah, they look like aliens. They look like aliens. Never heard of this.

Oh, you've never seen this? No, no. This is from like where there's no more light in the ocean Monsters That's one of them and that's not even the most terrifying one. There's other ones That's an alien that's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's Keep going That looks like the fish from the Simpsons That's a thing that pops out of the guys chest and aliens it does These are literally all aliens. There's other ones that have these giant teeth that are fucking terrifying

That's nice Go give it on Fucking terrifying. That's nice. Let's go in the middle. Go, go, go. Go, keep going. Look at that. Look at that. Oh. That's like a star. That's like a thing right now. Look, Mark banged that. That's right. Look at that.

Look at that. It's quite an opening. Look at that. Oh my god. That's like from Princess Bride when the thing's attacked the ship. Yeah, yeah. Keep going. Keep going.

Oh my god. That's Godfrey's cock. He's very white. Yeah, yeah, keep going keep going. Oh my God. That's Godfrey's cock Jesus very white I actually have those on my balls Look at that. I think I just a spider and then look at that one that's a dinosaur Crazy now it's crazy, but you they say that the oceans we know more about space than we do the oceans Really? Yeah, we know more about space than we do the oceans. Really?

We know more about deep space than we do the oceans on our own planet, because we can't get down there. You can't get down there. You can't see it. You can't do it. You can't survive that. There's no pressure.

There's no pressure on it. You can see into deep space and see all the stuff. How far do you think we can go down into the ocean? We can go all the way down. No, you can't go all the way down. The pressure. The pressure. I saw the abyss. Yeah. I remember that thing with the it's like the just like the gel thing. Yeah. Great

underrated movie. Yeah. James Cameron. Yeah. Was that his first? No, I was like not his first. I don't think I think he just maybe it was. Oh well. I am good movie. It's well, the sea is just not sman. Yeah. It's out of control. It's I ever tell you one time It's not out of control. I mean very calm The world is modest Hey now come down with a gumbo is Invented down here now. Oh getting the vapors one time. I was in I'm not done trashing your shit Hey, I got on fatty. I'm telling you it's good

You can run out of city block and have a parade. 200 bucks. Yeah, and then have cops with horses trample you. Is that one that's a funeral and they have those guys? You do the second line. Yeah. Which is the longest, most fucking annoying funeral. You're trying to have a lunch outside of the cafe.

And this shit, mamp mamp mamp mamp. Some guys shuffling dancing. Even if you can hear him nine blocks away, takes fucking an hour and a half for them to go By even the guys who did the wire could make your town interesting To rebel that's never been though. Well listen man. You wouldn't like it. You don't have a big palette I don't have a big palette. You're right. I have a huge palette

I love food and I've never had a good meal down there. Come on, I can give you a list of restrooms. You can be completely fair. You're the first person I've heard. Say you don't have that. Thank you. I'm gonna say this, I'm the first person to honestly say it. And I'm the first person.

How many people have you said this? And I've said it on the show before, Chicago deep dish pizza. You can suck it in your ass. I've heard that. I've heard that. I've heard that. I've heard that before.

Amarul, all these guys Wolfgang puck and like John Bess they all go down there Hordeine who yeah, I know they go down there to start a restaurant because it's Tren de because there's new Orleans come down here under debt and all that To came we had the other cable we came back Brad pin jelly a whole But you could be a small town chair down there Dabbing your forehead with a fuck you're bidding uniform Guarantee Bonto roulette

With friendship did you? Yeah, my dad's parents don't even speak English. Really? Wow. So you teach Creole, just Creole? Creole French. Can you speak French? I don't know.

I can't. I can't speak French. I can't speak French. That means I speak a little bit. It's not great. The fact is, you must be of, I mean, you're doing well now, but you must have been a big disappointment for a long time. Huge, huge.

I mean, I'm saying that and I'm not saying that to smash you. No, no, huge. I'm saying because now, of course, you're doing great and you know, you're very, things are going good, you know, as a co-tailed jumper. I mean, take it from the best. Yeah. You're doing good. Oh, you're Dane.

I was Dane. Yeah, I've been. It's hard to hold on to those tight jeans. But yeah, I know what you mean. I'm opening for Louis this weekend. So, are you on that show? Yeah. Being a little joke. Joe must be happy about that. Look over to your fucking schmoozing face. Be your Mike Lawrence. So, that's great, man. Yeah, it should be fun. Yeah, he saw me here and it went well. That's great.

Now, let me ask you a question. But your father must have been, I mean, here you are, you know French. You know, you're intellectual parents, both boys. Yeah, you're down there. And I mean, if you look, if you're intellectual down there, you're intellectual. Yes.

I'm actually intellectual down there for God's sake. Right. You just fucking know how to put a sentence together. But they go to the opera, the sympathyphony, they're all into that shit. So they're high class. Oh yeah, high society. High society, they go to those little southern potas. Totally, I got a photo for some.

Your parents is it? Yeah, they know all the newscasters and all the writers. They know all the- And here you are, you come to New York. Oh, seven. To do what? Stand up comedy. So you did comedy down there.

A little bit. Now did you have to play a bugle or trumpet? No, but I did have to hammer bottle caps of the bottom my shoes for a jig No, it's also another great Music with a good joke. No, it's not much stand up down there. No stand up That's what I was gonna tell you the crowds there are not great with comedy. They don't know it Well, they don't know that you they love jazz. They just sitting. No, I'll tell you that the one thing I didn't do when I was down there. I went to a lot of jazz. There you go. Little tiny shit holes hanging out and just watching a

Three-piece fucking kick ass, right, but I just you know the food and and that street is so overrated. Oh, yeah, that's crazy It's like six-tree, Nostan. You know no one really goes there. It's like bourbon. I mean, it's like Times Square It's just soth Street, Nostan. You know, no one really goes there. It's like bourbon. I mean, it's like Times Square. It's just so fucking annoying. Yeah. I think that was so drunk, so annoying. It's just like fuck.

I thought bourbon she was, people actually go there. Like, I thought it was crazy. I mean, the whole country was there this weekend. It was crazy. Oh, it gets crazy, dude. It gets nuts. But I can give you all these cool spot, like the village of New Orleans and like the East Village of New Orleans

There's all these spots like New York like no one actually goes to the French Quarter, you know Nobody does not really so I went to the wrong places. Yeah, you go there to eat maybe and during the day But you get the fuck out no food. I went up and down there. The food was awful. Wow What what restaurant on on on that street is good. Well, there's murials, there's a commander's palace, there's a, oh, geez, Nola is great, all the Brennan's places, and they have the Brennan's are like the big restaurant tour. Have a Bren?

You walk him on in, you can kick down him immediately. I don't like you face, you see. You go to my brother's restaurant, I'll kill you. But yeah, yeah. I got a ride cast in the words. I yeah, yeah. Brian Cast of the Wers. And he asked me about staying up New York the other day. What's that? He's trying to get in the labs.

Good, get the fuck out of here. Go. But I'm going to kick him out today. Kick him out. He has to have a fight having on a show to have it be worthwhile to listen. You're full. I like it. I have me on Kevin.

We'll do it. He won't have you on. He denies it 800, we'll do it. He won't have you on. He's we've denies it 800 times. I've tried that. He won't have you on. But he'll shit on me on the show. So it's all I thought I saw him tweet reaching like, Hey Mark, can you do the show last minute?

Yeah, he's like, can you do the show in 10 minutes? I'm like, I've been Kentucky's like, fuck you, blow me. I was like, oh, it's you. But yeah, you bring up being a piece of shit disappointment in and out of juvenile. My brother's like the best son ever. But yeah, you bring up being a piece of shit disappointment. In and out of juvenile, my brother's like the best son ever. Listen to this rap sheet, my brother has.

Crap sheet. Certified genius. Like, wenser? Yeah, went to the best high school in New Orleans, gifted senior year to go straight to Berkeley, full scholarship, became a championship fencer. Then he joined the Peace Corps when he graduated in Africa, went to go visit him and he did it for two years.

I was there a week I wanted to kill myself. So he sounds like a boring guy. He's kind of a boring guy. They want to play chess now. How are you boring guy when you have all that going on? You can't be a boring guy. He's kind of low-key. I mean, experience is that.

How much, you know? It's like Oliver Stone's life. He's not a social butterfly. He's got nothing to say. He just does a social butterfly. He's got nothing to say. He just does shit and leaves. He's got a lot of hot way from South America. You're kind of going along, right? Yeah, we're like co-workers.

We're so different. That's like, hey, what's up? Is he Star Wars? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hot out. How old are the Queen's? How old are you? He's 35.

She's a little older than you. Yeah, I'm 33. So you have kids? Yeah, one daughter. Okay, cool. And you're a, how old are you? 33. You're 33. So you're, I mean, one daughter. Okay, cool. And you're, how old are you? 33. You're 33.

So you're, I mean, look, you went the other way. Yeah. And you were a fucking, you went to juvenile home. What'd you go for? Twice for peeing in public, once for true and see. Is that it? And once for a breaking car door, mirrors off car doors. Oh, that's, that sounds good.

Yeah, I was gonna say, peeing in public, go to Juve Hall. Yeah, they throw you in there. I'm into jail for drinking on the beach in Maryland What's Juve Hall? Well, how long were you in for I was just in for the night? You know fuck off. I didn't go the whole rape gang rape thing. I didn't have first of all Out of control, right? It'll be sleepers The guy the guy was lying I was not sleeping. I was.

The guy, the guy was lying. Um, anyways, yeah, that's just jail. That's not Juve. That's just you were in, for a night, you made it sound like you're. No, I'm seeing it out. And oh, my parents had to come pick you. I went to drunk tank a lot. A lot more drunk.

Sean Penn and bad boys. No, if you're relying on a Jewish kid to make a radio bomb, whatever the fuck. I'm making a lot of bad boys references. Yeah, let's do different a lot of bad boys references. Yeah, that's two different bad boys. The one on the black one. So you're punk. And then when do you decide I'm moving to New York to just stand up?

I had nothing going on. I lived in Baton Rouge. And I was going to college, I lived in a house with five guys. Now why can't we say Baton Rouge? Why do we have to go Baton Rouge? I thought we were doing the whole silly voice. I don't know. I don't know. I'm going to college with a house with five guys. Now why can't we say baton Rouge? Why do we have to go baton Rouge? I thought we were doing the whole silly voice. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know.

Oh my god. Sierra soccer suit, the dabbing. Hi, good. But yeah, so I live in a house with five guys, we're all just pieces of shit. This is our big thing. We would steal kegs from other people's backyards and just take them home, like we had a truck.

Then we found a corner store that would give you a full keg if you gave them three keg shells So we were just stealing keg shells for all over Baton Rouge and we got beat up few time We got chased it was crazy and that was our whole life. We fucked class We had beer pong. We had parties all the time. We built a bar in our house. We had a hot tub I mean it was bananas. So I had nothing going on. I was rudderless and My friend at work said you should try to stay in comedy. I said, ah who am I? And he said try it and I got what was the work? I was a waiter

Okay, and I got shit faced and did like I wrote a whole thing about family feud and I went on the open mic and Try it out and it did okay But I was hooked I ran the light by like six minutes the guy was waving me they cut the mic on me They turned the music on like I didn't know what the mic was. And, but I was hooked and I was like, I'm going to New York to do comedy and that was it. Really? I was a huge fan, but I had no self-esteem. I was like, that's Cosby, that's Carl and who am I, you know?

Right. But I had Chris Rocks. When you told your mom, dad, you were going to move to New York to be a standup, what did they say? They were like, anything, just do something. Really? Well, they were kind of, I don't want to say neglectful, but What did they say? They were like, anything, just do something. Really? Well, they were kind of, I don't want to say neglectful,

but they were just like, get out of the house, get out of here. Okay, now you go, now all this time goes by, this last week and you go and you open for Amy at a big theater. Yeah. Do they come? They came, but it was in New Orleans.

I know. Yeah. And they, they'll go down the street. But they come down to this big theater and see you perform and you killed it. Yeah. I would imagine because you're pretty consistent, right? I went well. Thank you. And then what do they say after that? I mean they flip it out? Is that the first time they saw you at a theater like that?

Yeah, first time they gave me a text that a good job will see tomorrow That's it. That's it. That's just how they are. They're just not huggy people. They're not emotional. You see me. I can barely touch another human Why is that? I really do have that wrap. You have a wrap dude. I mean look people love you. You're hilarious. But you have that wrap of just being fucking robotic and sure that's what's connected. Why? So hugging. They're both I think my dad. My dad's got a crazy childhood. And my mom's just like a work at work at workaholic and why can't you hug now though? I'm working on it. No he's got I work a, work a holic and... Why can't you hug now though? I'm working on it.

No, he's gonna be, I think once you get to no mark, it comes out more. But if, and there's a lot of people like that. I'm, can I talk to Mark? What are you, I'm just fucking rep. I'm trying to help out. I appreciate it. You don't have to help a lot of you right here.

I'm tapping his knee. He's saying thanks. Why can't you just give like, why can't you give Sean a hug right now? I give a hug, I don't care about hugging. I give a hug, give him a hug, please. But don a hug, give a hug, hug, hug, hug, though. But don't pat, hold, get in there, Sean, he get in there, put your face in his neck.

That's bad. Just banging head bones here, it's weird. Now does that bother you? No, I should feel a little awkward, but I don't know. What is this, Alan Luffkewitz is on this? Yeah, I want you to start hugging, come. I just, that's my son, my homework for you. I want you to look people on the eye when you're talking.

That's a whole other level. Why is that? You can't look at that. It's too intense, I feel it. Why? That's too weird. But that's spectrum shit, you know that. Yeah, I know, I think I'm on there somewhere.

That's like, yeah, that's like, which isn't a bad thing. It's good for comedy. My whole act is just like, how can you do this? But not this, I can be good, then that. It's all spectrum shit. Right, right, right. I don't see color, well I'm black, no you're not. Well, that's my whole act.

Yeah. Well, that's great. I mean, that must be great though, that you get to come back and succeed. Totally. From being this piece of shit, especially when there's so, I mean, look, the standard must have been high for them.

Yeah. I mean, as a father now, I look at my kid and I'm like, you know, please be something. Yeah. That you're happy with number one, but also that I don't have to worry about you, you know, and there's probably a point where you bounce like like, fuck, did they give you money? I couldn't ask.

But do they have, they must have money. Yeah, I think they would have, but it would have been a whole thing. It was a guilt trip. Oh, you really need money? Come on, by the time I was your age, I had three kids, a bet, you know, all that shit. So I didn't want to, I'd rather just...

You have a sister? I just made up three. Oh, no, right. But yeah, it sounded... Sean, what about you? Are your parents rich? No, no, not not not rich not even close Well, I say some you're so not interesting How is that interesting? Interesting. Nah.

How is that interesting? I'm just my story, your story. It's just like this guy comes from a rich fucking aristocrats down south. You want to hear this upbringing? It was the craziest upbringing. So we lived in the ghetto of New Orleans and my dad got a wild hairpin's ass

and bought a mansion in an all black neighborhood. Fixer upper barely had running water, the whole thing. And we got robbed once every month because people just oh this white film moved to this mansion they must be loaded so people would rob our house and just come in and like just ran second take like trisket they would take nothing because there maybe like a like a black and white zenith I mean like take that just wake up in the middle of the night that your way has to silverware yeah yeah exactly but our alarm go I was a fucking scared kid always

scared just who you'd hear that all the time at night just like oh shit. I hope I don't get raped, you know But uh so my dad was trying to fix up the house Pigeons flying around the whole thing was brutal. I see a dog Tom Hague. Is your dad Tom Hanks? I wish he was nice money pit reverence. I got it. So uh, it was like the house in Jumanji Bigger okay bigger but like that okay, so then my dad ran out of was it like the house in Jumanji? Bigger. Okay. Bigger, but like that. Okay. So then, my dad ran out of money fixing up the house, so we only had to fix up, he fixed up the back half and made it a bed and breakfast.

So now, we got squalor in the front of the house, where we lived. I'm talking electrical cables, you know, there's mechanics lights that hang. That was like my light, my room. And then the back of the house is immaculate, with carpet, and heat. That's actually cool now in the usability.

I know, right? It's in there. You can buy those for $180. Yeah, it's industrial. But yeah, so then, like on the weekend, my friends would come over and I'd be like, can we take unit five, Mom? She was like, all right, all right.

No one's rented that out, but I'd have breakfast with like Chinese businessman and traveling musicians. And then we get robbed all the time. So it's like a horrible, weird childhood. And that's gone now? Yeah, we had to sell it. My parents, two guys broke in,

tied my parents up with at gunpoint. I was at a marty grouper rate. Get out of here. Yeah, so that eventually they were like, we gotta go. Yeah, do you see why I fucking bailed on your childhood? I went back to him. My car got stolen once and used an robbery

around the corner for my house. Hey. I put something. I put it back to his parents. You fucking tied up. I got tied up. Who ties parents for fucking tie-up? Who ties people up anymore? They were the most liberal people too,

like my bike got stolen all the time. It was like, they need it. They need it. What do you mean, that? You know, the neighborhood who will just need it. I'm like, I got a bloody nose here. Ah, they need the bike.

They have less than us, you know? Yeah, if I had a father, I would expect him to go and fucking grab it. Well, that's the other thing. We had a transgender nanny named Enis. Yeah, there's a big black check. We're dude, I guess. But he had a wig on and high heels.

He would sweep up and be like, whoo, it's like birdcage. Yes, it's like birdcage. Big ass black dude. It's black, it's like a big rames type. I love, I love where you got Enis. Enis, he took Eric and penis and put it together. What's gonna be your trans name, you know?

I cut the P off, baby. I'm trying to make money for the operation. Get my jumbo lock cut off. My awful tofe. Whatever the fuck. Jumbo shrimp. So one time I was riding home on my bike from summer camp I was probably like 12 and these black kids there following me I'm like I'll be like fuck and they start doing the thing when they rub their back tire on my or their front tire

My back tire like where you go? I play it. Where you go? I was like, I just trying to get home and let me try out your bike I'm like, I'm good. Come on. Let me try it out I'm good. I'm like two blocks away like let me just get fucking. A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, without no power. So you got corners. So I got corners. I go all right on a bike Yeah, they surrounded me so I got out and I go all right here you go one of them gets on the bike He jumps off some handlebar gets on the bike and he goes check it I remember it perfectly and he just rode off and I go motherfucker and I ran home I've kind of teary-eyed I'm all pissed off and I get home and I look in the mirror and I had face paint on I had a rainbow here and like a unicorn because it's summer camp

and I had face paint on, I had a rainbow here, and like a unicorn, that was a summer camp. It was even worse. Yeah, so I told Ena, so he goes, fuck that. And he's like getting my, getting the van, we had a van. Took the wig off. Ena's had a van. Yeah, he had a big, big grey van. He had a change.

Yeah, so he probably had kids in it. So we get the van. Any of these kids, the kids that took you a box. So we get the van. Any of these kids that took your box. So we get in the van, we start circling the neighborhood. I'm like, I'm fucking, you know, hunting down the window. Did you wipe the unicorn on the rainbow? I got that off.

I got that off. Yes, thank God. I got that off. We're circling the neighborhood. You're a war paint. Yeah. And he goes, is that your bike and these kids were sitting on a stoop, like taking the shit off the bike.

So it didn't look like mine. You know, I had like some fins on there. Yeah. And he was saying, I don't know if he goes, is that your bike and these kids were sitting on a stoop like taking the shit off the bike So it didn't look like mine, you know, I had like some fins on there and he was taking it off He goes that's what I was like that's my bike and he goes all right slams the door he goes that ain't your bike And they say start going look at this bag all the whole place going up That's a bag of oh my god And he just grabs the bike opens the back door and throws it in he's like fuck you He should be ashamed yourself and we drove off and I was like oh my god That's the best thing ever. Yeah, it was a it was my hero. Yeah, meanwhile my dad said home, you know Just drink it as asshole the end of the story when you blew him

All right now this nothing comes for free and live baby I want you to another valescent Listen now somebody does something you gotta do something nice. I want you to put one nut in your mouth. He just reclined in the van with the wig a skew. But yeah, he got the bike back. How does he and his not get beat up in the situation? Because like this. He was an adult. He was in a big adult and we were kids. I was a guy in address who wants to fight that. Yeah, it was a little jarring. I mean, he's just the balls of wear that. Talk about self-confidence. Oh, right.

That was a burlesque. He's walked out, you get made fun of my team. Teamsters are the most evil people in the world. They went off on them too. Look at this bag in the heels, bitch. Yeah, that's just- He's barreling through a grab in the bike and going back. Yeah, yeah.

And I was too scared to ride it around because if they caught me now, it'd be an ass whipping. Yeah, so now, I mean, now your brother never stuck up for you and you guys never, were you not close back then? We were close, but the neighborhood was so dicey that he stayed in a lot and he had a laptop, he had like an old school laptop and now we were sure Google. Oh wow.

So he just learned computer programming, had a book open, he was doing dots back in the day. So instead of getting beat up and having his bike stolen, he just learned shit. Yeah, became a success. Like a weird, I want to fucking weird, that something like living in a shitty neighborhood and fearing for your life.

That's like Martin Scorsese. He was like a sickly kid when he was growing up. That's ready at ads, right? So he stayed in all the time, just watching, he would read about movies and went to movies and just wouldn't hang out with anybody. Wow. Yeah, pretty wild.

So now your brother works with Google and he's got a lot of money. A lot of money. Just bought a house in New Orleans, you know. So he works for Google in New Orleans? Yeah, from home, he's got it made. Wow, what a sweet deal. The only guys who knows how to do it

is he's got a coding. Do you think your parents like him more? Well, they obviously hang out with him more because he lives there, but I think they get him more than they make. Because he has a traditional path. Yeah, and he's a smart person, they're really smart. They hang out a lot.

But you're smart too, you're very, because you look at, you waste your talent on pussy and good times. Sure. I mean, absolutely. But I feel like we're all gonna die one day. What's the Shakespeare Sonic gonna get you? Well, no, I mean, you can tell that Mark is a smart guy.

Absolutely, I think he's a smart guy. I mean, yeah yeah, of course you have to be smart to be able to be funny You know and and well not but you're not funny like regular like as a human Right, you learned how to do it as a robot like yes, you learned how to do us my brother program Back open with a small wonder I'm like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like,

you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like,

you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like,

you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, you're as, as, as comfortable. But a lot of guys, look, I have my own thing too. Look, I'm, I fucking snap. I have, I'm bipolar for Christ's sake. I fucking, I didn't know that. I, I'm not diagnosed, but I refuse to go on medication for anxiety. Me too.

I don't want to, I want to deal with it. And, and, but I've been dealing with it for a long time. And it's hard to, you know, I know people that are on medication that take these pills and their models are always dry and the hands of shagin. And, you know, I guess that they're calmer or they don't snap as much. But- They're more zombie if you ask me. I am like, man, I- I used to take medicine as a kid for- What'd you take for 80- I took- I took Ritalin at first and then dexatineima. I took Riddlein at first, and then Dexajima.

I was sniffing by the way, maybe. I took fucking sinuses as terrible. I saw a line, I took Riddlein and then Dexajima, which was like just time release Riddlein. And it does that, it makes you a zombie. That's what it is. And I have one now that I got recently that I can't take because it fucks me up.

I mean, even coming here, driving is such a fucking, because people are so inconsiderate. Even coming here, driving is such a fucking, because people are so inconsiderate. People do things on the road that, for you to do it, it just shows what a shit human being you are. If I have my blinker on to get to the left lane because I have to get in that lane to take whatever, take a left or the right lane,

and you see that and you speed up. You're a dick. to prevent me from doing that I don't know what that is and I don't know what that is you're a bad person I know but what how how the fuck did that happen who taught you that or is that inside you That you would do that to prevent like as I'll try to always let somebody in. If I see you a blinker on, I will fucking let you in. You know, I think that's a good way to judge how a person is. That and how they treat weight staff at restaurants. Oh, you're gonna meet somebody who's shitty to weight staff at restaurants.

That I'm like, oh, you're a complete asshole. We all know that. Yeah, yeah. And you know, a lot of famous people do. Yeah, but you got a sense of control. It's it's it's almost the amount of power you can have. Well, people who treat limo guy shitty. Yeah, yeah. And it's a sense. It's it's it's it's controlling everything is what it is. Absolutely. Try to try to. Can you please change the, uh,

can you turn it up a little bit down? You know what? Put it back to the other station. What is the AC on? Can you put it up a little bit? Can You know what? Put it back to the other station. Is the AC on? Can you put it up a little bit? Can we change tables? Yeah, it's me and David are just looking around. I think you need something to do. That was seamless.

I thought you were talking, asking me to do something. I'm a great actor. I'm a good actor. I'm a very good actor. I'm a believable actor. You are a good actor. You are a good actor. Yeah, you are.

I'm not just trying to, I'm not kissing your ass. You are a good actor. I just think that it's so, but in me, You're a good actor. You are a good actor. Yeah, you are. I'm not just trying to, I'm not kissing your ass. You are a good actor. I just think that it's so, but in me, I'm like, well, maybe they're just so into pleasing themselves. And they're, you know, like, I'm such a people pleaser that I allow waiters or situations or other people to, I know, deep of shaking his head because of it. It always blows my mind when I see people

being so self-centered. I'm like, how do you not consider other people's feelings at all? I know. Crazy. It's weird. I think there's people that it's because they have the little smell of power

and they're trying to control everything like you said. I think there's some people that are so aloof and they don't fucking, they don't give a shit about anything else. And they're just walking through life like, oh, it's everything revolves around me. And then they don't, they might be rude and not realize it. They might be rude and then they're like,

ah, and then if it's brought to their attention, some of those people sometimes correct and go, I'm sorry, I just didn't realize it. But you should still, you're in a society, you should realize. If you're too nice though, I mean, look, I'm gonna last week or whatever, two weeks goes down stairs. And the chicken, the salad wasn't good, and'm gonna last week or whatever, two weeks goes downstairs.

And the chicken, the salad wasn't good, and the something else that wasn't good and I was complaining, and someone's like, Jesus. Oh my God, you can, I mean, you're all, sir. It's like this. There's a difference between, I would like, if I order the salad with chicken, I would like chicken to be on it.

To be honest, not chicken shavings. You know what I mean? So, some people were like, no, it's fine. Like, you know, it's fine. It's like, fuck, I would just like the chicken. And there's a fine line between, you know, being treated like shit or, you know, accepting unacceptable things.

But I'm talking about, you know, it's also a later comes over and it's like, yeah, we're talking, thank you. It's like, are you fucking nuts? No, that's insane. You mean being, but I got the guy at the gym who brings like a boombox and just plays music and I'm like, what do you insane?

Yeah, I'm gonna talk to him. But do you say something? No, I work out and I get the hell out of there. But you know what, the problem, why can't you say something? Because you make it stabbed. That's another reason. What, what, what, how do you say something because you make it stabbed that's another reason I won't what what how do you do it? I can't stand Now we're gonna is it from the 40s?

Like a sad kid I can't stand there. You don't want to walk up to a black eye. I want to see the business again But you have those porties Why you get who's gonna stab you at the gym? You don't know you don't know who's crazy and who's not crazy. Well, if you've got the balls and play as Boom-Bock, you never know. You never know. That's why my-

I was in New York. I'm sorry, go ahead. That's why I wouldn't expect my dad to go find the bike. If someone took my bike, I don't want to start a war with the neighbors, because there's more of them. There's only one of us. Yeah, but that's in the suburb. That's different.

It's like, and then you're on a adult dealing with a bunch of kids and then you can work it out that way. Well, as you're two adults in a public place and the guys Do that then it's like you might punch in the food knows what will happen I got to a fist fight in grammar school with this kid Kwame and we got no crazy Kid yeah, like he was like a militant black kid and we got no fight and like the parents had to come and my dad was like Yeah, he's a lawyer like I got it back to work. Give him a detention. Let me go and the dad's like the parents had to come. And my dad was like, you know, he's a lawyer. He's like, I got to be back to work. Give him a detention. Let me go. And the dad's like, the other dad goes,

now they should have it out. How are we gonna handle this? They're gonna have it out. Like, they're gonna get a boxing ring and all. And he's like, what? What are you crazy? And so I was like, no, give him a detention. They're kids.

Let's go. The dad was like, no, they're gonna fight. Fight's crazy. And you go, you're like, that's why the kids so angry. That's why I love the Alamo Drafthouse. It's the and you go you're like, oh, that's why the kids so angry. That's why I love I love the Alamo draft house It's the greatest Theater ever. Oh, I play the food. Oh any Alamo draft house any Alamo if you have a chance to go to an Alamo Not the one not the public club the plug. No, it's not Alamo Alamo draft house theaters. It's not the one in DC is a club

Yeah, there's one Tony, but most of them are theaters. Yeah, there's not the one in DC as a club. Yeah, but this one is a moton. But most of them are theaters. Yeah. There's a new one in Brooklyn. Yeah, they're theaters. It's not a comedy club. Most of them, you can go see movies. But the chair is a comfortable.

But you can order food, but you can also, it says, right at the beginning, if you talk or use your phone, you get kicked the fuck out. You get one more, you get one warning, you get kicked out. If anybody's bothering you, please just write on the, you have pieces of paper and pens, write a piece of paper and let your server know, just put it on a piece of paper and they'll grab it, and they'll kick them out.

You get fucking booted. Good. It's great. They should handle all the comedy clubs. Comedy should be like that, yeah. Well, I don't get that either. I absolutely don't want to. When it's not policed in. Yeah. Well, I don't get that either. I absolutely don't want to stop at least in these rooms. Well, how about the check spot seller no check spot all the other clubs have one. Yeah,

why can we do it? Not that you know why because the waitresses. Mm-hmm. They just the waitresses. I think it's the bouncer. Now, it's the waitresses don't want to fucking deal with people run out on the check. Is that but then if you get a bouncer, you won't runancer. Now, it's the waitresses don't want to fucking deal with people running out on the check. Is that, but then if you get a balancer, you won't run out. Well, the first one, the club would have to hire a balancer, a legitimate balancer. Usually it's the sound guy. They usually mix that job.

They'd have to actually hire somebody who knows what they're doing about it. But the more you tighten that up, the more audience you're gonna get. The more that proves the quality of your club and then the more audience you're gonna get, so you can pay for that kind of stuff. Yeah, but they don't look at that. They don't see that at all. They don't see the long run. That's like a manager believing in your career. You know what I mean?

I mean, that doesn't, you know what I mean? I mean, there's like two managers that give a shit right now. Yeah, you know what I mean? Dave Becky. And mine. I guess. You know what I mean? But it's, you know, it's like back in the the day agents had plans for your career. Like, we're gonna build you here, I'm gonna put you here. And now they're just fielding fucking phone calls. Right. Literally just going, uh, 5,000?

Right. Because they don't know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no fucking idea. Yeah. No, they're going, you know, so, yeah, the check spot is ridiculous. It's the worst. It's the worst thing ever. I mean besides like giving an opportunity to newer guys. I mean, but is it helping me because the new young guy gets the check spot. The young guy does the new guy. Yeah, when you guys got now, Santa New York and showcase, no, no, no, talking about on the road. Oh, no. Fuck your shitty, you're right.

That's the worst. Fuck you, dude. I don't care about this shit New York one. That's true. I'm talking about being on the road. Here's the deal. You got a host going up with a front. Then you got a guy.

Feature. Feature going up in the juiciest spot ever. Right. Right. Literally, after somebody who's not as good as him. He's been, that's 20 minutes. And him. He's been in his best 20 minutes. And then your feature's going up and doing 20 minutes of just shit, you know, what he's done all the time.

Hello, good off you phone. Don't do phones, put it away. I hate that. I'm trying to make an announcement. I'm starting to make announcements at the front of the show. Yeah. Because we were literally every, I looked over at one point and everybody was on the phone.

Wow. Yeah, it's terrible. You know, you're, you never look at your phone. I tried out to you in one of those guys. There's certain guys that come out. It's like dude. He's afraid to touch it because of his dad or something. Oh, hang on a second. I think I was the first one of the first one. Yeah, exactly. But you're not allowed to look at my phone out of your phone at my house. My dad, my parents are. You shouldn't. Yeah.

And you know what? I was talking to, I actually try to put my phone down when I walk in my house now. As soon as I walk in, I put my phone down. Cause I'll sit there and look at it. I'll look at dumb shit and my kid is going, Dad, Dad. So the dresser's on me.

That was reference to the pre-show. Yeah, did you see that? No. Play again. I actually do want to show you this real quick. I was just about to go on with some tangent that would have wouldn't know where. Oh my fucking kid. You're right.

Phone's a fucking ridiculous. That crazy. We're addicted to it. It's such an addictive thing. Looking at your Facebook feed, a Twitter feed, your email, or whatever fucking other app you have just to see what other people are doing. And then you see these other people doing, she's like, how come I didn't get that?

Where is that? What's that? Who's? I'll get rid of the Facebook app on my phone. I'll delete that for like as long as I can do it. Really? Yeah. I tell you this, I don't, I like Facebook out of all them.

I'm a big fan of Facebook because you can actually get fans to go to your show with Facebook Twitter you nobody fucking ever Twitter Lot of followers. I love Twitter stinks. What you like it because you're Joe guy just throw a joke out. Yeah, yeah, I'm not into that Facebook I feel like I scrolling and scrolling read. I like that. I like reading. I like all the information that's up there. And you can pick who you follow. So I like what this guy does, or this girl puts up, or, you know, I kind of like, you

know, I always have Kurt Metzger will come up after some new gadget. Yeah. You know, some new tack and I. Or rape. He'll do a feeling. He'll do a rape. I'll watch this. Oh, what's this? This is two year old saves his twin brother.

Oh, good. Finally some upbeat internet. Can you stop it? Can you bring it back now? We're going to we're going to show you this and we're going to add a little music just to see if it makes it a little more light-hearted. Alright, we're gonna add the Betty Hilton. We'll do three stooges.

This does help. That's like a slapstick comedy. As a dresser fell twin brother Bodie. I miss you. Lauren Hardy. As a dresser fell twin brother Bodie. I miss him. I miss him. Lauren Hardy. Yeah. Boy, he's really not helping him.

Help the kid, you idiot. There you go. Oh, he's pushing him. There you go. Good job, kid. Where are you, mom? I'm shooting a porno apparently. Oh, he's pushing him. Wow. Good job, kid. I dropped that. Where are you, mom? I'm shooting a porno apparently.

Ha ha ha ha. Oh, no, it's gotta be one of the fastest cooks. I can imagine. Just like Straitsmark. Here's a deal. As a dad, I can't even fucking believe it. That they were alone that long. I can't. If you count, if you watch the footage and the real time

clips, right? Yeah. How the fuck? Number one, two kids that age out of your eye line for more than fucking 10 seconds. Are you kidding? And boys, your parents are not even, my parents didn't know where I was the whole day. Not the past. Not the past age. Yes. No, what is this for your training?

Two it's two oh you are my bad. I thought they were Yeah, listen to your how easily your what's your ainess could I've looked at that? Pinkie Found the babies on the heat the castle We have a collar you want to take a call. Oh, just once. Is it a nice? Baby, how you doing? I got your cat member. You can Bomas is with me baby doll

Bomas What's up? You're on the air What's up? Hey, you're telling me that I recently updated the premium membership and the depot's down. Hang on, what I didn't hear. Yeah, I'm a member of the member. Okay, great. Thank you, buddy. Are you happy? Hey, how are you calling from Mexico City? I'm going to turn down the string.

What buddy? Buddy, your phone, it's not us. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. car yeah can you hear me now you turn into the fucking Verizon guy can you hear me now yeah we can fucking Vato that's right now what's up well not being honest I don't know I'm not gonna get the call man who is this fucking is this fucking Cristella Alonzo who is this

wow that's not a narcos you know look the first of all he had a peace port I'm not really getting dumb and bother. You know, look, the first of all, he had a piece of Puerto Rican. He's not Mexican. So you get the wrong fucking accent asshole. You got it. You got it. You got to call me Boppy. This call is why Trump wants a wall.

Fuck. Wow. Come on. That was a decent joke. Yeah, Bubba. Hey, listen, when you get out of the desert, Come on. That was a decent joke. Yeah, Bob. Hey, listen, when you get out of the desert, if you say wrap it up to me one more time, I'm gonna hit you with my microphone. Oh, give me the fucking dude. Do this to me one more time. I got it. Don't ever do this to me ever again. This is how I was talking to my kid. Hey, Lauren. Thank you. Thank you.

I was talking to my kid. Hey, Lauren, thank you. Thank you, Lauren. You're gonna have to be in scope back. Wow, never heard that before. Why, what do we do? Is the studio need cleaning? Ha, ha, ha. Now, well, I don't know,

people are just kidding and they want to do. Scopo is doing fine. He is excelling at stand-up comedy. He's touring. He's doing weekends now. He's He's really shooting up in the business since he left here. So heroin All right, Vato will see you later baby doll Haas to me nana

All right hang up listen. He gave me the I'm on the literally at the beginning of the show And then you know, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha and show my son. I look over at him, he goes, wrap it up. Just radio instincts, kick it in. That's kind of funny. I heard you had a funny one with the Yankee swap. I heard, I heard Joe say I was funny, and then you say, good guy, good guy. That's the funny, that's fine. I get it too.

Funny is gift ever. Very funny. Because Lewis always gets the greatest gift ever. Yeah, that's tranny. Well, yeah, he just, he just, he really puts a lot of thought. He found Venus. But you have to, when you don't have money, you have to be craftive. Yeah, right.

What was the gift? He got a five minute lap dance from a tranny porn star. Lewis, come as then. Yeah, with huge cans and a don. Yeah, not a big don either. Oh, really? Where was this? Not as, not as, oh, in here. Yeah, not a big don either. Oh really? Where was this? Very nice.

And not as, oh, in here, oh, not as big as you'd like. Maybe that's why she went the other way. Well, no, it's nice piece. Oh, still nice. It's kind of like my dick except darker. Is there one that has a podcast on the network? Is that who was? No, she has a big don.

That's a white girl. Yeah, it's a white girl. Her dick is, this is a black girl. Black girl, I smelled her butt. Ooh. You got in there. Yeah, it's a white girl. Her dick is this is a black girl. Black girl. I smelled their butt Oh, you got in there. Yeah, I smelled their bum. She came over and gave me a little lap dance I smell too little snap and it was it was actually smell she smelled like a unicorn Wow, she is well she got the horn. Can we get a photo barely jazze Peace, I want to see what work it was so I don't know if we can we put that on the YouTube?

Images don't get fly Denver because no one ever reports it. So anyways we had her on but Deepu last year gave the worst gift ever. What was it? Is it an album? It was actually Vegetarian Tacos. From Taco Bell. What? Vegetarian.

I really had that. Who would you give that to? That was terrible. From Taco Bell. What? Taco Bell. Vegetarian. I really had that. Who would you give that to? That was terrible. They gave it. That was his Yankee swap gift. So whoever won that gift got vegetarian. So we really smelling to this studio. Oh, it was terrible.

We just gave him so much shift. So this year, you guys don't want Taco Bell. I love meat. So this year, he's gift. Speaking of meat, look at the girth thing. Hang on one second. So this year,'s gift be gonna meet look at the girth So this year we this year we actually his gift was a one-way ticket to DC that's hilarious the next day But on a bus

The cheapest the chance one like a great is give worst gift ever all right here we go length.. Yeah. Length I'm okay with, but that is some solid. Make it big. You can't see it. Length, what do you mean you're okay with? Like I feel like I'm a backer with length. Oh, you match it with length. But girth, she's got, she's got like a real nerf. Can you, can you full screen it? You know I'm a big fan of full screen.

Full screen, nerf. I'm a, I'm a big fan of full screen. Oh, I guess you can't. Lauren is covering her face and mouth. Well, it's actually, she's bigger than that now. She got a, yeah. All right, let's, let's get this. Let's get this.

A weird fantasy. He's fucking skewing my podcast into. I talked about shitty parents. All of a sudden we're looking at Tranny Cockpit. This is fucking asshole on the spectrum. I think they have fucking stay focused on one topic long enough. They go hand and hand. Should he parents and traenys?

What do you think we get traenys? I think those parents with the, I mean, they're, they're, and it's, it makes me laugh because it's all the way the news skews it. They're saying the kid saved his little brother. Right. What a beautiful two. And we're all like, look at this.

We should be looking at the parents. Yeah. When the fuck it is, we parents need three roads alone for an hour. For a fucking hour. And then you didn't hear a dresser fall. Right. There's so many moments where somebody should

rent that room. Okay, your kid is upstairs. Okay, okay, okay. Fine. You're doing one. You're somewhere. Something happened. But you know your kids are in their room.

You hear a dresser fall. Yeah, and you don't run the fuck in the room. How do you not have one of those monitors also? You got the cam. Yeah, that's the weirdest part. There's HD footage of it. It doesn't look like a security cam. It doesn't look like a nanny cam. They always do this. So remember when the Baltimore rides were happening that mom was smacking the shit out of her kid and like tough love. Like what are you doing? Be the shit out of the kid. Be the shit out of him. That's why he's a fucking gang member.

Also, another thing with this is that she took the footage and made it viral herself. The kids didn't do that. And the mom did? Well, who else? Why else would they have this? The mom figured the nanny did it. The mom put it out.

No, the mom put it out. Wow. Right after this. I cannot tell you how many videos are on the internet of kids getting hurt. And they somehow think, I just can't watch them. And I might be too sensitive. I might be a pussy.

I'll take all those hits from it or wherever one. And I guarantee you anybody who says that, it doesn't have a kid and lives in your mouth. His basement's not working. I'm looking at it. You can also watch your kids get hurt. Well, you know, even the thing where they're like, listen,

where the, you know, the fails. Yeah. Where the little kid, the dad pushes the swing and the kid goes flying off. Oh, the ball. Yeah, see, you're a psychopath. You laughed too.

You literally just chuckled. I laughed at you laughing. Oh, well, I laughed at you timing. I just liked your tempo. I feel like everybody, maybe I was laughing at my time. You ever know, we always, people you grow and know when you're growing up,

but laugh, if you get hurt, they laugh at you. I hated those kids. I don't your tempo. I feel like everybody, maybe I was laughing at my time. You never know, we always, you know, people you grow up when you're growing up that laugh. If you get hurt, they laugh at you. I hated those kids. I don't like it. I had, there was a whole family that we knew when I was growing up and if you went over their house to play, like we would play with their kids and you got hurt, they'd be like,

ah, just sort of laugh. Oh my god. Hey, I'm real hurt right now. What are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, like you fall and they would laugh at you falling but you be hurt. Where were, what town was this? This is the violent.

Yeah. But I mean that's what America's funny is home video. It's a whole show based on. Yeah, I know. Yeah, total. People getting kicked in nuts by ponies. Yeah, but that's right.

And that's what I hate that. I hate it too. I cringe at that. I'm like, why would you show here? I say here. Okay, then show the guy having to get nine operations to have his nuts taken out of his asshole. Right. There's a follow up. You know, he can never have a kid. Look at Johnny Knoxville. Oh, yeah. Now that's comedy, but he's not he's done.

What is he? He's because he's so fucking he's so fucked up from all that shit that he can't his he's just, you know, paying that shit that he can't, he's just, you know, paying, paying killers and all the, he had a, his dick is fucked. Really? He broke his dick. How? I think he got kicked in it or something.

A bowl stepped on his dick or something. Cause they did that for years. They did it for so long. Cause they had videos before they had the show. They had videos called, see why, camp, can you show me this? Yes, yes. It was the band of Bam Margera's brother and they just put out these videos had videos called, see why, camp called the show video. It was the band of Bam Margera's brother,

and they just put out these videos. He's fucked up too, Bam Marger. Well, he, I think, was his friend die. He started drinking heavy, and that was on the big road. And that plus, he banging your head that many times, fucks you up for life. But that, I think that's what made the internet really big, is that type of shit.

Absolutely, yeah. It was like, I remember when I was a kid, faces of death. Oh, the video, faces of death. I remember the faces of shit. Absolutely. I remember when I was a kid, faces of death. Oh, the video, faces of death. I remember the faces of death. Yeah, faces of death one and two. A bug-dweier thing, people would share that. In the monkey, remember the monkey brains?

The monkey, they literally put a monkey in this machine, and they would cut its skull off, and then tap its brain and open it up and eat his, eat the monkeys brain. What? I've never heard of that. It was fucking gross. Holy shit, I don't even see that a little.

Yeah, you ever see the Bud Dwyer one? It's messed up. Is shooting in the mouth? Yeah, that was big. Are you gonna show what that was, right? No. Because I didn't have a video. What do you got?

Um, he was like, like, embezzling money. Oh, really? I mean, he called the press conference. What happened? What happened? The backstory to the Bud Dwyer thing. It looks like Bobby. No, I'm just talking to him.

What happened to what happened to Knoxville? Go ahead. Knoxville took a spill while attempting to backflip a motorcycle for an MTV special dedicated to Caneville. The bike came straight down on Knoxville's Johnson. And as his film crew and pals did by, the handlebar snapped off on impact. He survived. I hit him, but his penis was broken.

What was this? They fill the jackass MTV special. So maybe, you know, probably pretty recently. But now it was a couple of years ago, but he's, I mean, he's fucking damaged, man. Well, he can't, and that's all for money and to entertain. Yeah. So there was that point where, I mean,

even Canieval, you understand the shit he did was dangerous, but it was mathematically thought out. And there was all sorts of safety precautions. Safety precautions and helmets and, you know, I mean, granted, he was jumping just a steel motorcycle compared to, you know, what they're jumping now with the shocks and how light it is. And he was jumping like a Harley,

which is fucking nuts. Yeah, that's, but, you know, he was jumping shit that could be jumped. These fucking guys, have you seen, I mean, some of these videos of the guys jumping off the mountain with the flight suits and they're like the flying squirrel suit. They're doing like 700 miles an hour.

Just above the tree line. But you know what, there's physics again on that. Like those guys are probably flying for the most part because they figure it out and there's like a science to it. The jackass guys are just like, let's just do this fucked up thing and then if you got hurt, you get hurt. They used to get hurt constantly. Have you used a staple ship to Steve O's bat? Yeah. Like a lot of stuff. Guys guys are just like let's just do this fucked up thing. And then if you got hurt, you get hurt. They used to get hurt constantly.

Have you used a staple shit to Steve O's back? Yeah. Like a lot of stuff. Have you seen the one with the guys doing handstands on the buildings? Oh, pull that shit up. Unbelievable. They're doing handstands on the edge of the building.

Like, yeah, for like edge of a building. I can't watch it. It's hard to watch. There's a guy that don't die. There's a guy and it's got to be Russia or somewhere. It's got to be Russia. You know, Eastern Europe. It's the redneck or Russia.

It's always that Florida. It's not redneck because the building's too high. You know, they never build anything down south more than six feet tall. That's a book in stayhouse right there. Ouch. I know you fucking shit city. We got a balcony and girls show their tits for beads

Women's rights organizations go down there once in a while yeah, they get drunk. They show their tips Exactly come on down girls. It's okay cuz it's moddy crap women women like beads For what I don't know. Plastic garbage. The women. It is fucking ridiculous that people are gonna, they have beads store. I know.

You go to spend 10,000 dollars on fucking beads. They probably make a killing. And then you throw them at people. You give them away. You don't keep them. You give them away. You throw them up a lot. You buy them and you give them to people.

You throw them up a lot. Yeah. For someone else's mom saying, not people that sell on the beads. I'm not saying that the beads that are saying the throw him up a fight. You buy him and you give him to people. You throw him up a blow, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For someone else's mom saying, Not people that sell on the beat. I'm not saying that it's on the beat but saying the store must make a call. Oh, yeah, they call it. Oh, yeah.

It's fucking ridiculous. Stupid. It's just a dumb tradition. And it just shows what fucking cattle we are. Really move. All right, how's this going? You get beads, okay? And you throw them at the girls and they show their tits.

Yeah, you know what I call that? A strip club. Go inside. Yeah, yeah. Get a dollar you throw them at the girls and they show their tits. Yeah, you know what I was thinking, all that strip club. Go inside, get a dollar and throw it at her twat. And also show you the tits. It's just his certain point. When you see tits, it's not that it's exciting. That's true, they do get old, which is sad. It's a sad moment. No, when tits get old.

Remember when you used to go to show club and you're like 20 years old and 13, whatever it is? Best day of the year. It's amazing. I mean, can I be honest? And you might not believe me. I've never liked you. I don't believe when you Were the first time when you were 21 years old and you went never like to get the fuck now I get it

Yeah, you hate it. You hate joy. I love the music. I love the music. I hate music parts What you hate amusement roller coaster that hate tilt the world I don't like me sparks either suck.'s just, let me be uncomfortable for 20 minutes. Whoa, whoa, I'm getting whipped around. Come on. Do you get scared of rollercoasters? I hate them. I don't want to be scared.

Yeah. I don't, I'm not a big fan of rollercoasters myself because I'm afraid of heights. But I love a nice amusement park. I like a water park. I like a water park. I like, I went to Universal Studios and I went to the Murder She Wrote thing. I purposely said that like.

Mark's dad. Yeah. It's a Metamusel. And a Murder She Wrote. And with a jaws right, I've been to, the jaws right, it's not a big deal. Last we went to the Matlock Matinee. Ha, ha, ha.

Listen, I'm telling you right now, strip clubs to me have always been boring because, and I've dated a couple of strippers too. Maybe that might have something to do with the little ear. Cool, that's right. Because they told me the whole deal. It's like they just scam, you don't know that when you're 20. Yeah, I did.

All right, well you're better than everybody. I'm not looking, you don't have to make it be mean about it. I was trying to get my opinion about it. You have to fucking hate me because I didn't like them. I love you. I did not looking, you don't have to make it be me about it. I was trying to get my opinion about it. You have to fucking hate me because I didn't like them. I love you. I did not like. I just never liked them. They seem like a big, this is what it seems like to me.

You go to a strip club, these girls that fucking hate you because of what you are, but they need you because they need to make money. And then your whole only dream is that they will like you at some point and maybe give you their number and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? It's a fucking nightmare to me. It's a nightmare to me because it's just self-esteem. I'd rather go at a young age, yes, in my early 20s, to a massage parlor and get your

gauf. Yeah, right. And just go and back when I used to do that, it wasn't just Asian massage parlors. It was before the internet. It was hot white chicks. So you could go and there was white chicks, regular white chicks that didn't want to spend all day. Regular.

Who couldn't, well, who couldn't dance, you know what I mean? Right, right. Because they weren't that hot. Right. But they'd go to a massage parlor. Hobbled white chicks. Like a hair-lipped white chick. My favorite. Three n white shit. Fucking hair-lipped white shit. My favorite.

Three nipple girls. That's fine. And they would go and they would find enough. I think, but you know what this, that's a by yourself activity I feel like. What do you mean? You go with people and go with friends? You go with friends then? Yeah, me and Billy went at once.

Yeah, I took a bunch of friends there. Why not? Well, I mean, I'm gonna take a nine dudes. We and Billy went once, yeah. I took a bunch of friends there, why not? Well, I mean, I'm gonna take a nine dudes, we're not in the same room. Dude, get a hand job. Not dude, I'm gonna eat a ass. Watch this. No, it's just you in a room.

Yeah, I don't know, understand why, what the fuck is the problem with that? I would go to my friends. What is your ultimate goal of going to a strip club? I don't go anymore, I'm 30 now. I'm saying, back in the day, what is the outcome? And because you wanted to see naked women. Okay, so you see naked women when you leave,

now where are you at mentally? I know, you're a raging heart on that. You're raging, what are you gonna do with that? Jerk off. Nothing, yeah. Nothing. You're right, you're right. You're gonna go eat, fucking hate women.

You're gonna literally go and go fucking that broad, fucking, I could have fucking, you see the fuck. But you gotta go and go fucking that broad fucking I could have fucking you see the fuck but you know that sense when I was 20 now okay I did I did all right what can I tell you and a bunch of other guys I did and how about this first of all Lauren Rubney because Sean's pissing I don't want to lose Melissa this is the new Rubin tug I gotta start a podcast now but what I'm my point is is that you go to a rubbantug, or back then it was actually, you could fuck. And yeah, you could bang, you could do whatever you wanted.

You just have to negotiate. Yeah, to negotiate was maybe, you know, a hundred bucks, 60 bucks, I mean, I used to go with fucking Keith Robinson. He'd be in there going, haggling for 10 minutes, like it was fruit. I mean, I gave you 75 for the box of grease. I gave my album. But, okay.

Now, you go into one of these places, you get into my songs, you get into tension, it's relaxing, and then she's gonna fucking blow you or fuck you or jerk you off. And you leave, and you'll like this. Ah, life is okay. Ah. Life is okay. Yeah, life is good. You leave a strip club, you like fucking, ugh.

Yeah. I wanna fuck. Yeah, I wanna fuck. You're right. I hate that. I'm going to more, I'm just saying, like. But in his defense strip clubs, a lot of them have a rub and tug in the back.

No, they don't. A lot of them. A lot of them. A lot of them have been offered in strip clubs. Uh-huh. I don't do it because I'm, I get to town. I've never been offered.

What you all they do. Um, really? Yeah, that's our lie. I've been offered. Wanna go in the back room? Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, but they never said, we'll give you a hand job. No, but I assume.

That's not, assume. The back room is a fucking scam because they get you so fucking riled up. They get you to the back room with it's more expensive. You got to pay them consistently, not dollars thrown at their assholes. It's a $20 dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And another 20 and they get you going and they rob and they see the, and then they go and

then all of a sudden the dances are, and if you ask for something and they're going to go, no, we can't do that. And you're, it happened at Derosa. Derosa got a huge fight. This shouldn't want to blow him. She got a huge fight with the guy because she disdanced and he thought it was she might do something else or whatever and she came downstairs.

He wanted me to grind on him and he's like, they can't touch you, sir. And they flipped it on him. And now he's in an argument, of course, is Derosa arguing. Yeah. But it's just a waste of time and money. And I think it's more degrading. Right. And I know I'm fucking I think it's more degrading to go to a strip club on both

ends. Then they go to a rubbentide to go to no way. Don't play both sides of the coin. That's what I was doing. You know, there's no way. There's what a host does you motherfucker. No, there's no way. There's no way. Whenever, if Seaman makes an appearance, it's less, it's more degrading. It's got a point. It's not true. I'm upset I want you to watch my socks.

I'll get out of here. All right, check this out. Now you go to a place where a chick's just, you know, taking off all her clothes and, you know, you off all the clothes. And, you know, you can't touch her. Is it Venus? Or is it? Huh? No, baby girl. You go in there and she's dancing and she doesn't like you and you secretly don't like her. It's just fucking weird. It's like really like they don't like you. You're a piece of your you're a guy. We think the Rubbertuck girl does. Oh, I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. You're a piece of, you're a guy with a Rubberton girl does. Oh, I'll tell you this.

It was a point. I'll tell you this. They're both making money. You have to, there's something about sex that you, to say, you know what, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this. You have to like it and you have to go in the moment. You have to be okay with it to a certain extent to jerk a guy off.

Why don't we ask the lady in the room? Deep blue? You completely horrified by this conversation. Would you rather jerk or stranger off or dance for them for pennies throwing at you? I don't know. If you had to pick one, if you don't wanna answer this, you don't have to.

But if you had to pick one, she's dying to answer it. All right, sorry. I think I'd rather be a stripper. Ah! Ah! There's some argument. I'm gonna treat you.

And then if I were, no, no, no, no. The dancing part. Yeah. It comes from burlesque, which is what I'm gonna call it. Oh, oh. Everglow loves warrants. Burlesque is something way different. Yeah, it's shitty.

That's like, no, it's in the same family as swimming. It's a family. They don't have families. That's what I'm gonna call it. Bridget has family. That's different, that's comedy, in a way. But that's burlesque. Burlask is kind of funny sometimes. I guess so. Yeah, not sexy though. What would you rather get? What would you rather get? Would you rather go to a strip club

right now today? My question posed to you. Would you, let me finish before you take a breath. I'm married. I know. It's okay. Let's fantasy. What are you going? What would you rather do? Strip club, I'll go to a hand job place. A hand job place. Okay. Mark, what about you? That's not the question. Hand job in a second. Okay. That was the question I just asked. That was exactly the question. No, but I'm saying her, she's on the female point of view of like what's more degrading? All right, but here's a deal. You're going to go up and just show your

asshole to guys for dollar bills. You're not showing your assholes. Oh, I pick a really good case and I make good money. Why not? What strip club are you going to? That they're not opening their assholes? The ones I'm gonna hat and don't usually do that. Which is ironic, is that the most expensive ones?

You think the more you pay, the more you wanna see. Can we eliminate this man hat and out of the strip club? All right, let's go to Favon and garbage for such. Go to Jersey. Yeah, go out somewhere. Do you know I went to one in Hempstead Long Island called Taste of Honey and it was all black and Spanish strippers. I got a lap dance from a girl and the midway through she goes, you're cute. You look like I can't I went to school with. I go, where'd you go to school? She goes,

Manhattan College. I went to Manhattan College. There was a girl in my sociology class from a Manhattan College. So she went. The girl I had a crush on for my sociology class. Now they're married. Yeah, and now they're married. It's Mary-O. Yeah. No, it was a black check named Odessa Europe.

That was her name. Holy shit. Oh, I should have said her whole name on her. Oh my gosh. There's a lot of Odessa Europe's out there. I don't think so. I'm sorry, I did that. I'm sorry. Bleep that, if you want to call in, make sure what's the number? 347, 983, YKW. If you have anything you want to add to this. And then, uh, make sure you check out

this week. We have a very special show at the village underground. Um, it's the band geek live. Go to the commisola.com. Uh, it's a music show. Yeah, good. A music show. And it's also, well, can you bring that up, read that information for me. It's oncomisolo.com. The, it's one of our very successful podcasts on the network. It's awesome. I'm a big fan of the show. And they're doing it live at the village underground. You can get tickets. It's going to have guests and music. It's going to be really a different experience. Yeah, episode a hundred of Bankyke podcast Tuesday January 10th 8 p.m.

Yes, band gig podcast with Richie Castelletto. It's gonna be a great time. They got Richie is actually from Blue Ways to Cult. Who you guys know? We got Danny Miranda from Queen. You got the Jared Pressman from the whole podcast and Marie Castello. That would imagine because wife and Andy Asco, that's from Blue Ways to call us. I mean if you love music, you love rock and roll And you love podcasting and comedy you want to get tickets to this so make sure you're good out to the comedy seller.com and get your tickets now before they sell out. Um, anyways, we got, uh, uh, uh, anything. What are you getting the chat room, buddy?

Someone says throw beads at Lauren. Ah, that's good. I just don't like, I, I really am a not a fan of these. I'm just not a fan of strip clubs. I'm not with you. I think it's just a, it's an annoying news. It's fun for a woman. But you say, I feel weird. clubs. I'm not with you. I think it's just an annoying news. It's fun for a woman. But I feel weird. First of all, you're sitting there staring at this Nate, this girl who's dancing to some song that I don't like.

Some fucking aggressive hip-hop song. You know that I'm like, oh God. And then now I'm, and. You're horned up. I know she doesn't like me. I know she kind of thinks I'm like, oh God. And then now I'm, and, you're horned up. I know she doesn't like me. I know she kind of thinks I'm a piece of shit for being there. Unless you're shredded with abs or you're famous,

they really don't give a fuck about you. You're just that idiot. And then they come off and they, you'll see the girl come over and they upsell you with the lap dance. And if you don't, if you don't want when they think you're a dick and they make you feel uncomfortable, and no, I'm good now. And they just get up and leave. Now she hates you

and she'll go talk to this and they all, all of a sudden the room doesn't, you feel like the room doesn't like you. Well, they're scoping it out. They're, you know, they're all like just checking like, oh, who's going to make the most money for, you know, and unless you're giving away, you just making it rain, you're not really, who gives a fuck yeah, and then you know Some you know you always wind up liking the bartender of the massage girl better because she has a personality Right, she's actually a human being you know, and then you know and it just stinks Strip club stink. I used to love going to strip clubs with Patries because he would hack all the strip clubs.

Oh really? I just trash him. Wow. And make a mad or laugh. And it was fun, but strip clubs stink. And don't get me wrong. I never went to strip clubs thinking I was gonna take one of the stripers home.

That's, you always have one guy in your crew that does that. I, anybody, anytime they'll do a strip club, I would just be, I was like, fuck. Yeah. Oh, this is just gonna suck. And you have to like, you always try to put on, all right, let's go. And you walk in and you gotta be cool

and you're looking for your seat and you're all, John, it look as cool. Then you sit down and you're kinda looking around. You don't wanna be too, you wanna be too fucking aware of the pussy dancing on stage because you don't wanna degrade them or want to be too fucking aware of the pussy next dancing on stage because you don't want to degrade them or think have them think you're a scumbag but you you want to you know you do want to look and have a little confidence and and then you're just staring at this girl you and a bunch of other guys looking up at this girl dancing naked it's like what the

fuck I don't even make sense to me and then the money distribution is weird the money you throwing money but I want to put too many dollars. It's the whole thing. Yeah, like, no, it's not. I can get $2 or $3. Yeah. And then I'm going to the drink stink and there's black lights, which is fucked.

But now, any stain you have on your black shirt, that's after knowing what it is. Before you go, you don't know what it is. The first time I went, I knew what it was. So at any time after that, I knew what it is. Before you go, you don't know what it is. The first time I went, I knew what it was. So at any time after that, I knew what it was. The first time I went, there was the black lights, I had fucking cat hair from my cat that I rescued all over, that I didn't know I had. I looked like an idiot. I had a stain from Korean barbecue that was from like three washes ago that never came out. Horrible stripper. green barbecue is coming out.

And then, you know, and then I'm out of all this money. I was out like 70 bucks, which was a lot of money back then. Oh yeah. You know, because I'm just, hey, I just want, I don't want nobody not to like me. Right, right. I want all the girls that think I'm cool.

And then I left. And then I was so horny. Yeah. And I went home and I felt like shit. I felt lesser then. I felt like just this fucking asshole they talk about. Look, I bang strippers after that.

I met strippers and you know, acting class. And it was like, you know, fuck. They were like, oh, fucking this guy and that guy. It's just second me the way they hate us. Oh, really? They don't like you. Yeah, all right. I'm not going. I was going to go to that.

What stripper likes a guy who does that? What girl? Right. I love stripping. Okay, good for you, really? Really? Do you? No, I believe that.

You know, I think they like it. What are you saying? Are you raising your hand? We had a collar, but we just lost them. He'll call that. Tell her stripper to call it. But if there's a collar, just say collar. Don't I don't want to cut you off. I don't, you can come me off. Just don't ever wrap me up when you're talking to your kid.

Don't tell you to hurry up. If you ever wrap me up with my child, even though you're absolutely, you're never, maybe sitting even though you're fucking out of your mind. Come on, he's fucking cooking some weird meal. Cookey fine. just a turban. Nothing wrong with that. All right, what about the kid getting trapped in the, you know what's the worst kid videos is the one

where they shake the kid. You ever see those with an any of them? Baby sitter. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't have kids, I want to kill this one. It's, it's, it's, it's so high. It's not my watch. I'll watch it.

Oh my God. I don't know it. It's bad. It's bad. Stop crying's I'm bringing up I'll I'll watch it. Oh my Stop crying and the heads go on It's tough I bring it up bring it up But they should kill these nannies who do that that's insane. Yeah, that's the death sentence This is fucking it. You're just like dad was kid. That's actually people's home videos I don't even know if you two will have it because it's so I think they're on like those like like 48 hours shows and stuff like that I don't know they're beating child. That's beating That's beating

The dark web We could buy a human Isn't that like is that a real thing the dark web the dark web? Yeah, it's actually more is big the web we know is fucking like this big and the dark web is the like I knew that of the web we know is fucking like this big. And the dark web is the, like nine units out of the web. Is that crack? I mean, it's like, it's like, the web, the web,

the web, the dark one's bigger. The web. All right. That was great. That was great. The dark web, the web that we use Facebook and email

is of really small percentage of the internet. Right. Most of the internet is the dark web and all that other shit. Am I correct? I don't know if it's more, but there's definitely a whole different realm that's like, like, in the code. You have to use a program called Tor

or something that's like hide your IP address. You have to hide it, then go ahead. I'm gonna call my friend, Joe. Because it's illegal to be going into these, some of these websites. And you could buy humans and stuff. I would buy narcole. I'm a narcole. It these websites and you could buy humans and stuff. I'm an article So fucked up. Oh, I'm gonna call my friend. I don't even want to know

If there's no chicken here, but I'll be able to talk. Oh, yeah, so yeah, you have to do the thing with the phone and the mic Oh my god, because of the new iPhone. They took the headphone jack up How do we get a figure out how to do that? You're an adapter, I have to adapt with you if you want. You do? Yeah. It's a two, really. The adapter, what a fucking shit company. Mark it off your phone, I swear to God, I will fucking get the fuck, but you're on the table.

Check it on the table. Put it, you ask for an Apple. Your hands are apple now? Oh, Jesus. What's that? I'm anti-Apple, yes I. Really? For food. You're gonna get apple, yes. I really for food. You're gonna get to, oh, I actually have.

I don't, listen, I don't, you don't, you don't, I don't think the Mark Norman has literally one of the quickest people on the planet. Oh, come on. He's very quick. Him and one of the quickest in Mark Lawrence and Norton. Norton super. Norton's unbelievable. But Mike Lawrence, when he was judging that roast battle thing, it's like the kid speaks in roast. It's insane. and Norton, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton Super Saiyan, Norton What's happening next? What's up son? How you feeling buddy? I'm good. How you doing?

I'm good man. We're just hanging out talking about how I hate strip clubs and people child abuse. Yeah, they go ahead and head. That's nice. Yeah, what's up? So on Kevin Brennan show, he always talks about possibly making a move with the Kumi Network. uh... uh... on uh... uh... possibly making a move

of the community network but you know that it get into how you're after not so what are you talking about well here's a thing i'm going to tell you that the honest about truth kevin brannon was walking around doing nothing nothing

okay nothing literally nothing. Well, in his defense, he was doing the same jokes, he was doing the 90s. That's something. Okay, yeah. So, you know, whatever. I always thought Kevin should, you know, I run a podcast network.

I, you know, rich and Bonnie show. My wife hates me, you know, I went to them and created that show with them live from the table. The comedy seller show. My show, you know, we got Nick DePaul show off the ground. And I, in a couple of others, but I, in my brain, I came up with the idea of misery loves company with Cav, yes. And I went to Kevin and I said, you should do a podcast with Lenny Marcus, you too, called misery loves company because you're both miserable and Have get I think it'd be great and we we did a lot of hard work to get that going

I took photos the actual photo for the podcast as I took myself Rob sprints my partner. We had a theme song main with the guys from band geek Richie actually made the theme song and we came up with the guys from Band Geek, Richie actually made the theme song and we came up with the idea. We really did a lot of hard work for that and we came up with it and we gave them the studio and we taught them how to use it and Deepo really helped Lenny figure I think we had Lenny come in and work for weeks actually a month on how to produce the show and I really just wanted Kevin Brennan to have a podcast and an outlet to get fans. That's all.

Nothing else. So now cut to, you know, the money, he always says, we, I can't sign Kevin. I can't make Kevin money until he signs with us because I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, you know, go out and get sponsors for a show and get him, you know, it's all ready to go to get premium channel. He could, but he doesn't want to give, he doesn't want to share,

he doesn't want to give any of the money away. He wants all his fans to just donate to him. Nobody else. He just wants the cash to go directly to his donation. He just wants all the money. I put up money, he wanted t-shirts. I put the money at myself for the t-shirts. And now the t-shirts are up there, you know,

Starfucker, I got the logo. We got everything done. I did all he he won't promote it because he wants the money the t-shirt that the fan gave him for free he's gives those he sells those to you guys for a hundred to dollars so he upsells it as you can come into the studio and sit down I said so I don't know what to tell you. You want to go, I mean, look here's a deal. It's coming very close to the locks are going to be changed and he can go wherever the fuck he wants to go. Because I don't, I only, only thing I did was I think

Kevin should have a podcast. I was right. Okay. I was right. Um, what do you think? Well, like, where do you think he should go? Should he stay here? Should he go to Kumiya? You got to meet. Go to Kumiya. Yeah, I got the anger from him. I think both.

There's one thing. Like, is I think he was trying to get maybe like a show with Jimmy, because he knows Jimmy won't kill him there. There's a bodyguard or whatever. Jimmy, you think Jimmy Martinez, you think who's gonna stop him? Right. Nobody's gonna stop Jimmy if he wants to get,

yeah, he'll wait for you out front, Kev. Jimmy's not a fight, yeah, who's gonna stop Jimmy if he wants, Jimmy's still he wants to stop Jimmy is Jimmy. He's lucky that Jimmy had self-control. You see the video? He fucking grabbed his wrists. He went, you know, I've, that was a move taught to women in the 80s in karate classes. Okay.

He left the fence class. So I mean, I don't know what to tell you. I, I've done nothing, nothing, but helped that fuck. Okay. I Yeah. I've spent thousands of dollars on his podcast. I've not received one fucking dime. Wow. Okay? No, I've made nothing. And the reason why we can't make money of it because he won't sign a contract.

And if he doesn't sign a contract, he can just, we're just, you know, I've already told him, you can go. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a shit. It's just another listen, man, let me tell you something. You help somebody in this life, and I'm going to explain this to you. Do not expect anything back. Okay. If you go out of your way to build something, you don't expect anything back. I don't. So I'm very choosy with who the contracts that are set up now for

riot cast are Brennan proof. Let's put it that way. What about you? What if Neil wanted one? I would love fucking wow and I love Neil. You know great. I would love Neil Brennan's podcast. Fucking misery hates misery. But yeah, dude. I mean God, I don't give fuck. And I don't get, you know, all the shitty says, I don't give a fuck about that. Kevin Brennan yelling shit about you. Who gives a fuck? If Colin Quinn was saying shit about me, I would be bummed out.

Yeah. I would really be affected by that. You know, Stan, Kevin Brennan, yeah, it's almost, you know, you know you know here's a deal it's who gives yeah I have a three-year-old I know how to deal with Kevin Brennan you know what I mean my three-year-old wants loves me balls and then hates me balls and then wants broccoli and hates broccoli I know how to roll with the punches with that fucking three-year-old you know what I mean I mean believe me I could fucking grab his hair

and drag his face on the fucking pavement out in front of the cell all the way down to Benz and then we'll see who's who. You know what I mean? Always ends up at Benz. Pat me, Lauren. Pat me, Lauren. Pat me, Pat me.

But, you know, look, I've only, I've only, you know, from the name, from the theme music to the fucking photos is uh... me and rye cast and rob sprants you know uh... he doesn't have to fucking push a button he doesn't have to fucking upload a show you know and that's like a thing is like where do you see the show going now because like he can't find he's like a fine replacement because one there to see how

fucking brutalized when he became. Um, let me let me. One of my good friends and he, he said to me, I can't do this anymore. And I said contractually, you're supposed to do it till the new year, but you don't have to. I'm, I'm, Kevin's not going to make the decision. I am. So that's where it's getting to. You understand me and Rob are gonna make the decision for him.

And he get lucky man, I don't give a fuck. I love the Kumiah Network. I love Anthony, I love Keith. I love all those guys. And I love, stand up labs, a fucking great. I love it up there. Oh, Mark says they're mediocre. Hey, look, if you want to fuck me, go, I don't care.

I don't care. I've learned something from yet another show. Do you understand? I helped. My goal with Voss and Bonnie and Kevin and Nick and the comedy seller is to literally help people have podcasts that I think should have a podcast. And I had a network with this amazing guy Rob Sprance

and we helped these people for you Fox. So you would have good content. The East Coast would be represented with good podcasts. And from Riotcast sprouted stand-up labs sprouted the kumi and network sprouted fucking our gas digital from what we built so you know God bless everybody make money do you thing but as far as Kevin Brennan goes come on you know what I mean I gotta you know do you I don't he you know what I mean? I gotta, you know, do you, I don't, you know, he's getting to the point where, you know, whatever dude, you know, go fuck yourself. I don't buy a fuck ride cast, fuck Bob Kelly.

Yeah, exactly. And that's where you're at in the business. And that's why your brother's successful because you want to fucking burn a bridge that's and not a funny way you know what I mean? Funny first motherfucker you know you think I like Mark Norman you think I like Mark Norman but I have him in here and I pretend it just didn't this shitty childhood because he might be somebody someday you know I I legitimately I'm really excited to be on the mark show today i literally love shan because i know he's not gonna ever go anywhere and he's here

uh... so there you go sidekick jobs out there i hope i answered your question who is this poor guy called in and i'm grateful i mean did you i make sense or is that an answer to give you too much no no yet for sure I mean everything that makes sense um... I've never heard you like directly you know a dress because he obviously brings it up every week pretty much yeah because

yeah it's just this is rhetoric dude it's all horses it look I knew it was all horses it wouldn't fucking Jimmy Martinez stood in his face and slammed up and grabbed his wrist and what you want to go outside you want to what motherfucker? No, I mean to talk. Really? So he went to talk to me right now. What's that?

Is the misery of somebody like up for like renewed but like is it out now? I don't know the dates, but I'm pretty much you know, I mean look, other networks have tried to get that show while they were in contract. Because here's the thing, I did all the work with Rich and Bonnie's show, with me and Rob, and serious came in and just took it. Damn. And just said, hey, we're gonna give you this much money and be on the network. Okay, I didn't stop that because I love those guys and they're gonna make some money,

but it's a show that I came up with with them and Rob. And we should have profited off of that show. We never did, okay? We profited off of what the stuff we got them, the ads, okay? And then they started trashing the companies and the ads pulled, so we had, you know, but, you know, but here, I love those two, and I love what they do

and I love the show. But we helped create that. They, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, what do you want to do? He goes I want to do the thing. I was like, okay, go do it. Okay? Nick the Apollo We came up with the show with Nick and then he was like I'm gonna do four days three days a week I'm gonna do paid subscription. I'll give you one. All right, Nick. God. I love Nick. I love a show We were only there to help these people to make money and to get a fan base. And that's what a network is supposed to do.

It's supposed to show helping other shows become popular so that people will come see our comedy. That's it. It's the greatest form of social media for a comedian. You know exactly how many fans you have. Right. And the same thing with Brennan. I did the same thing. I was like, dude, you do a podcast Lenny should do one you guys together blah blah blah And then people came a running as soon as it was a hit people were like oh, hey, why don't you come over here and okay?

You want to yeah, all right dude? Yeah, you know look at it's a slow crawl sometimes to the finish line But nobody wants to do that. They just want the fast fucking thing, you know? We're having a big meeting tonight, me and Rob's, France, we're broadcast in a little while, so we're gonna get going off this, but yeah, we have a big meeting tonight. We're gonna make a lot of changes, and that might be one of them.

We'll see what happens, because here's the thing, I already got the fucking okay from the owner of this studio that if whoever I don't want up here, I will not be up here. You don't will not be up here. You know, so I'll shut the fucking thing down. You know, this is all my equipment.

You know, Ryke has bought all this shit. You know what I mean? So we'll see what happens. But you know, whatever. And if he stays, he stays. I don't really get, it's like, I swear to God. It's like, you know, I have a three year old. I don't give a fuck.

If he goes somewhere else and he's happy, I fucking go ahead. I know whoever, whoever he goes to, God bless you. But anyways, I hope it's Anthony, because Anthony will fucking shoot him. Ah! Ah! All right, let's get around the room.

What do you got? Four bite of bread. All right, hey buddy, thanks for calling in brother. Thanks boys. You got it. Oh, that's some reddit material right there. That's fucking deep whose dick just got hard. Oh, that's some reddit material right there. Oh, that's fucking deep whose dick just got hard. Bobby was saying Kevin. Did you hear what Bobby was saying? He was saying fucking yeah.

Yeah, check me out I'm doing some clubs Hartford funny bone next week and I'm doing this Pekipsey room We've heard of this last room. Is it here's why it's great if you don't have a car You just take the train and it's literally in the parking lot of the Transition really it's so and the guys are great and the rumours great here one did a nice guys fucking great guys They love comics. They love comedy and Good life. There was a description Descrepancy with

Stavros' pay when he went up there or something happened in the contract and they fucking took the hit like they were like look Man, we don't want to and they will like, here, here's it wasn't a crazy amount of money, but they were like, look, here it is, dude. And they took what club owner does that fucking great guys, great, great club too. Rumors and McGubbies and side splitters in Tampa. So yeah, come on out, check the website, marknormandcomity.com. What do you got? I next week I'll be at the Syracuse Funnybong.

I'm there this week. Are you? Yeah, is it bad? Ooh, how bad? I don't want to say it's my least favorite club in the country. Why? Just the audiences are dumb, the city sucks, the town sucks, I'm sorry folks,

your town is a shithole. Why was she? Just every joke right over their head they didn't get anything no laffers no good crowds heckled you're heckled I got heckled and it's a funny bonus right next to a Toby Keith's it's in the mall what's a Toby Keith's oh so that's great I'm actually I will go with my days we go ahead and then I'm in crackers the following week in Indianapolis the the broad ripple.

Great rooms, great room, great room. Love that room. And then I'll be at Laf Boston, your neck of the woods. Great, great room. The great room. And I'll be there at the end of the month of the 26th, 27th and 28th. Awesome. Thank you.

All right, Deepa, what do you got? At R2D Bu, everywhere. And I got my two podcasts, Geeks in New York, and go to Hell Podcast. Both going on 11 weeks, and I'm enjoying it. So maybe you will too That's it for me. Thank you Bob Lauren. Just at Lauren Cubera Why are you looking at my name? I grosses me out. It's really hairy right now. Yes

Hairy knee, I'm a throw up. Oh, can I say that I'm starting a new podcast? Yes. I'm starting to pass get podcasts called Defender movie Yeah, So basically you would come on and you would want to take Kevin's spot. I'm doing this guy, Alex, who runs the show, Brizz Studios Network. That's awesome. I just recorded a couple of things. Yeah, I'll go. Deepo, it's not awesome. It's another con on.

That is great man. Good to see you. That'll be fun. Yeah, I'm excited. We have some two new shows that we're going to be adding to the network very soon. I can't announce them yet, but I'm very excited about these shows. So what do you got? Yes, yes, it was actually I love Joe. Let's see you later buddy. All right. What do you got? What do we got if you want to be the guest in the studio? Make sure you email me

YKWD producer at rikest.com and you can come in if you're a big fan and sit on the couch and watch a live recording. Yeah hang out, especially the ones at night are awesome. Yeah. All right, and my dates are? Your dates are on the fifth through the seventh or on the fifth you'll be at Niagara Falls at Senica Niagara, Casino Bears Den. Yes, the Bears Den. And then on the sixth and seventh you'll be at the funny bonus Syracuse and then the

twelfth you'll be at Mahafi Theater in St. Petersburg, Florida. The 21st, you'll be at Ridgefield Playhouse and Ridgefield, Connecticut. I don't know, the 27th, you'll be at McCutty's in Sarasota, Florida. Yeah, great. I got a lot of dates coming up. Make sure you hit them. I'm actually going to Rubatue in February, which I'm excited about. So, yeah, I'm to my website, robbakelylive.com, all my tour dates are right up on the front page. And also get the app, you wanna be a premium member, get the app.

If you listen every week and you have a join, go fuck yourself. That's true. We would like some fan art too for fan art Friday. We need fan art. I don't give a fuck what it is. Anything. Whatever fan art is, email,

whykey. Email ykwd at riotcast.com. Whatever fan art is email, why Kate email, why key WD at ryecast.com with the fan art, whatever it is. We post that every Friday or if it's something physical, you can mail it to 117 McDougal Street attention, Robert Kelly. Yeah. Fan out for me. You want to because I'm doing a my page and why can we share? Yeah. So there you go. Um, and that's it, right? Happy New Year. God bless you all.

Be safe and we'll see you next time. You know what? The. The. The. The. The. The.

The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The.

The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The. The.. The. The. The. ¡Nan, gana hacia los chiles de trabajo! Chiles de trabajo, chiles de trabajo. Check out riotcast.com por todos los más podcasts en el internet. Y todos los frutos y todos los frutos. ¡Chile! ¡Chile! ¡Chile! Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca.

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