Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Boys Are Back 2012

Episode Date: January 2, 2012

Gregg 'Opie' Hughes joins Robert, Joe and Dan for the first YKWD of 2012.  RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con Fireball. Disfruta de sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night. Con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. 33 rados. dude podcast? That doesn't flow off the tongue, Bobby. Why don't I have to do it this way? This is my... How about this? YKWD.

YKWD. Podcast. Just, just there this one. This is a good one. Go. Hey, this is Opie from many, many things. Been very, very successful. And now I could do podcasts, I guess.

But you're listening to, you know what, dude podcast with Bob Kelly and Joe DeRosa and a guy that sounds like a giant Happy New Year. Oh yeah, riotcast.com boom. They need their plug too. Happy New Year You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I'm not getting to be the one, you're the one. You know what I mean? Alright, here we are. We're here.

Alright, Joe. Thank God you're starting the podcast, Bobby. If I had to listen to Joe and what he's doing to change his life for another five minutes, I'm gonna kill myself Do you just say I changed my diet? I stopped smoking as he hobbles into your house We're this is the the before new years you know what did podcast we hear finally back finally with the original fucking Joe de rosa good to be back my father yeah a lot of people have been bugging me about having you back on and it's not me It's fucking you so well talk to Joe people been bugging me to do my own podcast you should I love it people have been bugging me to do my own podcast. You should, I love it.

Get eight listeners. And then people nobody has asked for you back. Probably not. But we have you back. Mars devoices fucking back. And we call him, hey, listen to him. He's got a great voice. That's a fucking monster's voice.

Very impressive. Thank you. What a long way. We're calling for you. Sound like you have that giantism distance. Yeah, it's it. It sounds like you should be eight people at six. The other day on the phone, Bobby said that it sounded like what he said was born in a cave with a puddle in it. Yeah.

That's what my voice sounds like. Like there might have been a wet animal around. Yeah, you're a, what is that? Is that me? And I don't get it. He's just fucking in a cave, like a dirty animal, like a fucking albino raccoon. I got you. And we got OP, OP.

Bobby. Greg Hughes. I got to tell you this, my first podcast. This is your first podcast. A lot of people have wanted me to do their podcast. Really? And I chose to do yours. That's what I'm talking about, man.

This is, it's so funny too, when you turn the mics on, which I mean, literally the conversation before we hit this record button was amazing. And then they surely turn them on and people just clam the fuck up. What are you talking about? I don't even know what to talk about. Well, we can talk about how Joe is a mess. Why are you slumped over? Is that how you sit? I fell in the shower and my back hurts. Did you understand? Did you tell that story or was that off the air? No, that happened right before I came over and I fell in the fucking shower and my voice all fucking curmed it. Is it having a hard time breathing?

Oh. Fuck you think, oh shit. I hurt myself. Shit. Are you alright? I don't know. I'm here. You're alright.

I don't know. Wow. But I You're alright? I don't know. Wow. But I came over here for the trash I'm gonna get. Well, here's the thing, is you look the same hurt that you do when you're fucking on hurt. You're the same squinty, country face. Can you tell everyone what happened to him? Yeah, please tell us what happened.

We don't want to understand this. And Joe, that mic is, the red mic is for you, so you talk right into it. I purposely placed it right in front of your face so you don't side talk. Why don't you go fuck yourself? Well, Marry Christmas. Mary Christmas.

She is. You see what I have to do with? You see what I have to do with? I see what I got myself into. Go ahead, what happened? Joe calls me. I was literally, oh, sorry, go ahead. Joe calls me.

He's a ten of one. He's supposed to be here to ahead. Joe calls me. He's, you know, it's 10 of one. He's supposed to be here to one. Joe usually shows up a couple minutes early to have a cup of Joe talk to my wife. He call, I know something's up because he calls me, he's bailing, and he gives me the old dude. I'm not joking.

I might have to go to the hospital. I fell in the shower. Yeah, I was taking a shower. And I was, first of all, just for the record and I googled it no man Man has ever fallen in the shower and had to go to the hospital over under the age of 70. Yes. No man Yes, like like a man. We're men. Those are old men. We're men. No men. No man has ever had that happen. So go ahead Okay

I Okay, I fucking fell my foot slipped. How does your foot slip? My shower, the tub floor is very slippery. It's an old tub, it's a really old tub. And it's slippery. And I've slipped a few fucking times in there. I'm been like, whoa shit, I almost just bit it. I was gonna jump in.

But today, I was just gonna jump in. So how many ribs, how many ribs do you have to break before you get some like ribs? I like ribs. Well, I never actually felt I was. It's not that good. It's bad. By the way. You've said you've slipped a few times so why not get something that'll never actually

fell. There were just a couple times where I kind of slipped a little bit like whoa that was we need to get Joe one of those fucking necklaces with the button. I'm falling on the camera. I'm falling and I can't get up. I need to go back to 87 guys for the podcast comedy today. Yeah. Congratulations. Why not? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know this is a fucking all-room. Wrong room. I don't slam my new fucking coasters.

Listen. I'm using coasters, Joe. Aren't you proud? I just fucking fell. I slipped slipped I slipped and I fucking fell down I whack my back on the tail. Here's a funny part as you a fall He grabbed the curtain And he went pink pink pink pink pink pink like a machine gun I just imagine the sound of the water hitting the shower curtain as he lays there and I would love to I know the noise that he made when he hit the fucking ground.

And he realized that he has nobody. It is alone. I want a lonely feeling. Why are you leaving, letting him off the hook? About what? About being gay? The story's too basic, except that I was going on. No.

You just fell. You just fell. That is true. This is why it doesn't go on was going on. No. You just fell. You just fell. That is true. This is why it doesn't go on. Hang on one second. Let's just deal with the professionalism and the years of experience that OP is just brought to the, you know what, through podcasts.

Because we were just gonna brush over it, which we do all the time, and he fucking see us, I the situation, and we gotta realize you were fucking cranking it out, weren't you? Nope, he's like a- You were playing with your balls. No sticking something in your asshole. I suck in the guy's cock. You would do you you were fucking painting the inside of your shower trying to blow yourself. I don't turn off in the shower first of all. What's really you? I can't do it standing up and I need to look at why it's nice when

your legs go a little. Hey hey or you do the little squat little Ben squat I'll tell you who does your go from the shower me him in my shower Jerk off in my shower. Yeah, I would you go from your shower. Yeah, it's a great shower. It's a great shower It's a great shower. I'm not gonna lie. We filmed a little piece in your shower over the summer. Well, let's let's yeah I never never put it on my YouTube channel, but we did film a little piece. Hang on one second. Someday, it's not like we're naked.

See, that's what I do. Nobody fell, but I'm just saying I let the people think what was going on. Yeah, little teas, little teas. Little teas. Now you get all the emails and then we wonder why did he never post it on his YouTube channel. Yeah, what was Bob doing in the shower? Did he fall in the shower? Well, with that said, I would absolutely jerk off in your shower. Yeah, it's a great shower. It's a good

shower. A good shower to jerk off. Phenomenal shower. Yeah. Did you jerk off when you did come? Did you, did you, at least respectfully get in the drain as much as you drink? I didn't put it on the walls of the bench. So you, how close did the tip of your cot get to the drain? You know, they did, I did the arch where I knew you, you, you actually shot it like a three pointer into my drain. I tried, I tried arching it in. So it didn't get into the drain exactly. It went into the, I watched it, I watched it. Did you have to like hose it in?

Yeah, like the thing and then I, like the thing and then I, I was getting worse and worse. It started with I got it all right into the drain. I got it in the, now it's all the way back up to hosing it in. It was on your fucking walls and you need to scrub it off. That's not true, that's not true. We are sitting down and jerking off. Now, standing up. You're gonna do hosing it in. It was on your fucking walls, you need to scrub it off. That's not true. Yeah, we are sitting down and jerking off.

Not standing up. You're standing up. You have a leg up? Really? You didn't use the shower massage underneath your balls from behind? No, that's a good idea. See, well, you're never gonna get the chance again.

You never did that open. No. I'd go sloppy if I jerked off in your shower. What do you mean? You just get worried everywhere? Yeah, I would just fuck it and not clean it. Yeah, I would just go sloppy. Don would just be down there one day. Fucking not money. No, it's a little bit for you. You put it on the wall like you'd smush it in. No, I just go sloppy. Really? Would you take a little

bit and mush it in like so it dry up? I play with my my really you don't play with your come. I don't play with you come. Do you play where you come? No. That's right, you're okay. I just want to sell off for your back. No, I'm just going to be a lie down and do the podcast. No, I just... We don't have to draw attention to it. I'm just going to look miserable the whole time.

You, I mean, you look the same. Right, good. Can we do a bit? Yeah, let's go ahead and do a bit. Let's do a bit. No, we hope. I'm going to do that if I talk good right now. He couldn't do a push-up if he was in shape.

I just want to see how much pain you're in. Without like- I know a lot of fucking pain. So how would we improve that? By the way, I can't talk right? Yeah, it is. You are talking weird, dude. Yeah, I'm fucking hurt.

Don't get mad at me because you're fucking stupid. I'm not in the shower. I'm here. I'm here for you. You're here for around the shower. I'm here. I'm here for you You're here for you and not I'm here for you. Yeah, you might be bleeding internally You might be bleeding if you if you if you is there anything that you have that I can have if something happens the guitar All the new components of a human physical form Come on nothing on that

It's funny. All right, say it again. Your abdomen looks a little swollen. You might be Do you have an abdomen? I don't think so. He's a little swollen show me on your body where where you hit it Right right there like in the back. Where you would swallow you back? Oh you went on the on the rim of the top mother fucker All right, like I was there and I said it six fucking times already none of you guys are listening to me I Got snapped on me you snapped on him. Why don't you snap on open it fucking get the three for cuz opi matters more than the two of you Not not not for long I was fucking with people before we even went on Not for long. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that.

I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, it happened so fucking fast. And when I was on the, when I finally hit the fucking ground, I was like, Jesus Christ, think I didn't bash my God damn face or tooth or something or, and I obviously even broken anything. So I stood up and I was just like, ah, ah. It was just like a dull ache. It's still like a dull ache, but it's fucking what my breathing and shit. So why don't we look at your back?

There'd be, yeah, you know what, stand up and let us see you back. You might have, if you have bruising, dude, that's not good. Like immediate bruising, it's not good. No, I'm serious. Seriously. Let's see it. What's with me?

Yeah, it would be bruising me. Immediate bruising? It means bruising immediate blood. Internal bleeding, like death. Oh my god, he can't be safe. Oh shit, dude. All right. I'm gonna take a picture. Oh, I'm gonna take a picture dude I'm gonna take a picture me. Um it turned that way pick it up more pick it up more. Oh god, dude

Are you dude are you fuck come on Joe? Let me take a picture. I'll show you. Did you have hip surgery? Oh? show you did you have hip surgery. Oh, I like it. No, that's just a good mark. You get nothing on your back. Sit down, Stu, but you find I knew that I said don't get angry

angry. Get playful. Angry. I don't like your anger anger. Don't take it out on us. Do you hurt? And we care because you're like, I right now I just I your anger, anger. Don't take it out on us to eat your hurt and we care. Because you're like, right now I just, I feel like the wife that hurt her foot who's still hobbling around the kitchen

trying to cook you dinner. Right. And you're going, it's not hot and fast or while you hobble and stupid, it's like, you know, just a little, just a little, right, little nurturing right now. Just a little bit. All right, how you feel better?

No. Who gave you Advil? You did. Yeah. Who told you you're gonna be all right how you feel better now who gave you Advil you did yeah who told you gonna be all right my friend Justin now who told you first who told well you did but I'm not sure that wasn't just selfish to get you over here yeah to do the podcast yeah well did we can fucking opus here need either one of you fucking cocks I could do this in my sleep yeah well you didn't say get over here. He said it. I don't know.

Wow. There goes that one. I'm just scared. Yeah. I'm not used to the angry Joe. I don't like that. I'm just in a bad mood. I got an ulcer on my cheek and.

What do you mean an ulcer on your cheek? Oh, the herpes. It's not herpes. It's herpes. Why do you have an ulcer on your cheek? I didn't even get him since I was a kid. Like a canker sore. I don't know it's cankers or we can't I don't know what it's called But I'm sure cankers cankers herpes like a form not herpes like from sex. Yeah, it's not lips herpes. It's herpes I get lip herpes. Yeah, we all get lip herpes

I don't I got regular ones friends. I get the herpes now. I'm kidding. Come back. I didn't get anything I actually got checked out I thought I could it last year, I would have guaranteed I had herpes. Out of all the fucking horse shit I've pulled, and I didn't have it. I actually said, I was like, are you sure I don't have herpes? You did the thing. The Russian broad up near you, the doctor, the hot. They fucking Norton and him went to this chicken

they're building near up there somewhere, near their house. She's smoking hot. I smoke it. I bailed on her because she doesn't have like, bedside manners. Well, yeah, but Bobby is right. Russian, hot, big boobs, or flous.

She comes into the examining room with a couple buttons on her. Oh, really? This is like a movie every time. Yeah, I'm trying. Am I lying, Bobby? I've been trying to get a prostate exam from her. I keep saying she keeps going, no, 50, 50. I'm like, I think they changed it to 40. I actually found an article I was gonna bring in,

as it actually says, you should get your ass off check out it, 40. You got it. You got it. What is it called? What happened? You got your ass off check. What's it called?

I think you're up your ass. No, no, no, no. You got the thing up your ass. Oh, I got a probe. Yeah. What is the thing got your asshole checked. Yeah, man. What's it called up? Up your ass. No, no, no, you got the thing up your ass. Oh, I got I got a probe Yeah, what is that call and I had some samples taken? Cole and I'll see yeah, Colin Osme you had that I haven't had that I thought you had a sit on like a big white dildo. No, no first of all Did I just I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know where the fuck that is it's in your You don't have a prostate hole near your asshole. It's up in it's up in and you hook it past your asshole It's no, it's your assholes right there then inside your body your assholes just the outside the assholes Just shrink the muscle and then the inside is the What is that Joe what do you laugh at just left the way you said she think there it's frinked What do you laugh about just laugh the way you said sphincter? It's frinctor Say it like you're fucking German like you think like Gerbels

And that will have anyways you go you go back you go in past that and then there's the and did you ever have prostate fluid? Kamadir asshole. Hi, honey Hi, honey. Hi, hi Don. How are you doing? All all right hi no talking on the podcast you know the wrong man easy oh oh sorry you know fucking look at my chicken sweatpants you really do look like shut the fuck up she's here at once she used it all the time I say it's you better say nothing he's a hear it from strangers though she does does hear from strangers. All right, just make sure that I pay a couple guys to say some stuff to her Shut your face on the podcast. Yeah, I was talking about the two of you recently really really loved her you'd let her go Honestly say you know one of my friends

over the years have said that? Honestly God I've had this not the first time and it was said in complete dude. Listen to me, Patrice said it to me once. He goes, man, just let Don go. She's a good girl. Just let her go, man. Let her be, let her meet a plumber, electrician,

some fucking dumb dude with an accent like a full-on Boston Don way you going we got a bob a kill him see my mother tonight Stop fucking around, but you know what dude look at the kitchen. She's got dude look what I gave her Look what I gave her it's nice. It's nice. I would have done a few things different But she designed it Tell her don't tell me she designed it tell her yeah of course it is It's beautiful. I look at you but my back hurts. Yeah, thank you and she baked it's fresh cookies She did she baked cookies and brownies. No, they didn't have any want to bring them home. I was waiting for you to come home to bring them

Would you get the car? All right, don't talk. Don't talk. That's good. It's in Walker Rage. Okay, good I can't talk about my prostate now. Why? Because she's here. Why? She's got, she's leaving. She's leaving. She's gone. Oh, take a shower. Easy.

Oh, what were you just talking about? I'm saying. Monster voice jerked off in the shower. What were we going to go on one time? One time. Uh, what?

Did you clean it? I just like hose it down. Clean it. What? What? Didn't with the hose? Is your with the with this big it is your cum so thick You got to use your big toe to make sure it goes down Assisted it have to wash it. It's cum looks like silly putty going through that fuck yeah You got a more shit with your big tie never touched my load with my toe

I was just oh, I've done it with my chin just asking why asking. You've touched your, you had to push your load down a drain. Oh, it's nice and thick. Sometimes when I'm high drain, this is good. You know what it is. It's when the hot water, you got to get the load down before the hot water hits it. The hot. Because it turns into the fucking cotton candy. Hot.

Yeah, it gets like when you put like citrus and cream together. Yeah. Wow, you don't want to get that checked out. When you first, when you jizz, it's nice and fluid. That hot water. It's water. It's a hurdles. Oh, it just, yeah.

It's like that's the word. Curls. I couldn't think of the fucking word. And then you're fucked. It's in a task. She's like fucking an alien to that. Especially if it's on your hand in the hall. Oh, boy. Just. Yeah, you're not getting those little fucking nuggets off.

Yeah, it's like you just fucking, it's like you just grouted the bathroom. Where you going? Oh, what? Haha. Get back here. You bearded creep. I love Hopi's beard by the way, dude.

I'm digging the beard. Yeah, I know. Creeped out my wife. I like it. I like it. I really like it. And then you came creeped out my wife. I like it. She really likes it. And then you came over and said how much you really liked it. And pretty much said the same thing.

And the same way she has said it. It's a fucking, you look great. It's a stop by that. It looks like easy about the yell Timber. Come on, little something. I like it. It was all right. It's kind of funny. Bill Burr's first joke.

One of his first jokes, because his last name was Burn and his brother's name was Tim. Timber! Oh God. Ah, come on, we all had shit jokes. Not that shitty. Dude, I had a bad joke. I had a joke.

I had a joke about my grandmother's two thumbs on one hand. She made a great pie crust. That's all right, that's all. How you life? How you life? How you life, but all by yourself? How you life? How you life? Pyecrust. That's all. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I just want to let you guys know that right here, if you look at the TV screen right now, I showed you this before, this is being a prostate. That's being a prostate. You shave your ass. No, that was back then, dude. That was back when I had a nice fucking clean ass. These three girls were on the beach in Venice. I think young, young girls.

And I walked up. I walked up like, hello, are you on the Baywatch? Do you do the Baywatch? And they were like, what? I was like, you mind to get the picture from my home people? And they said, yeah, I immediately took my fucking pants down and banged the moon. Look at the one on the left is like,

the one of the middle is just getting the whole fucking joke. She's fun. She's probably you know what she's happily married now. These are 16 year old. This is like a get a lot. This is illegal. Yeah, this is illegal. That's why it's not on the fucking intramnet, but you guys get to see it. No, you didn't. I'll be ready. I'll take that off right there. All right. What are you doing? I'm taking that off. Can I finish my prostate story? Yeah, go ahead. Finish it. So there's a long, you sat on a big white dildo.

No, I did. Oh god. I finished it. I bent over, I got the finger right. Boring. And like every guy, you kind of just, you know, you make your dumb jokes about the finger going in. And then I turn around, I see his face like, oh, great, I I only see I only feel this every once in a while what do you say he had the look

on his face like oh great I was hoping I wasn't gonna feel one of these today right so so he goes we have to do more testing blah blah and I had to go in for the probe some kind of fucking thing goes in your ass they loop it up nice it's white? I don't know. I didn't take a picture of it. I saw a picture of it. I swear to God, I didn't look down. I had to see it. I had to lay on my side, my legs up near my chest. What? And he entered me. Feet of position style. Pretty much on the side. And then this thing, like, I don't know. Did you ding ding go back in? Oh, dude. Did it go back inside? Fuck yeah, man, like a fucking turtle's head. And then all of a sudden, you know, it snaps,

I guess, a needle out and stabs the possible lump to take samples. How bad did that hurt, Joe? Yeah. What do you think? I'm saying like, I know it must have hurt a lot, but I'm just getting like give us skin. I winced and the guy had a whole my

Giddy I'm just pumped up the story, but he had Stop fucking I was like Go with your old bitch. All right, so he didn't know he did have to come for me He put his hand on the small your back. Yeah, kind of held it kind of patty right I was wincing the old coach Yeah, you're through a kid. That's not even a cut. That's a pedophile Pat on the small you do real. And fluid shot out like a fucking bullet. Like a fucking bullet.

What do you mean, like prostate fluid? I guess. And that made you okay, because it was just a pushtool or something. It wasn't a whore. Well, I mean long story short, I'm totally fine, but I had to go through all this shit. Did they pop it?

Did it pop? The needle pop a zit? No. So what came out was prostate fluid. I, yeah, I guess, because of whatever he was doing. You know. I didn't come. I sweared it, but it was fluid.

Not that I, because it was like, I came later. Like when it brought the toilet. When you tried to, when you tried to, when you tried to, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you tried to, when you were, when you were, when you tried to, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, when you were, but it felt like a rubber band, rubber band going off as this thing was hitting the lump. And that made me just shoot, fucking fluid. You got ass juice.

No, it came out of my fucking pee hole. It came out, yeah, it's called prostate fluid, it comes out of your pee hole. Okay. It's yellow. It's not. It's not like a prostitutus. What is that, a fucking prostitutus, dude? No, no, I've had prostitutus. What is that? A prostitut, a fucking idiot. No, no, I've had prostitutitis.

Nothing. I banged. I banged, yeah, Jesus Christ. Wait, you get prostitutitis, that means someone's banging you. No, no, it doesn't. I was banging this shit. Something went in your pee hole? When I lived down in Queens, I had a checkup for the weekend.

I banged her all weekend, and she left. And the day she left, I went into the bathroom. I was taking a shit, and I peed a little she left I went into the bathroom. I was taking a shit and I peed a little bit while I was shitting and I looked down and there was fucking drip coming out of my cock like white milk and I was like oh fuck but it didn't hurt. Milk? Like you know like discharge like cramming you know whatever and I was but it didn't hurt and I was like what the fuck man I call called my doctor. I was like I think I've gone a ria or the clap or whatever And he's like well, what's going on? You got a discharge there. Yeah, and he goes is it burn? I go no

He goes you got a rash. I come no Names off all these I go no, no, no, he goes when it didn't happen. I was taking a dump and it came out and he goes Oh, he's like you got prostituted as dude And it's like your prostate even if you're having, like, you know, vaginal sex, it, there's a pressure. I don't like you slamming your hand into your other hand. Like you're about to like beat on someone,

you're like, slam and, hey, you see? There's a pressure that gets applied to your prostate and it can get irritated and it's just, and it's literally like, so someone had the finger in your ass? No, it just couldn't happen from regular sex. Joe is a slam in this chick, so long.

I tell you, I know you can, I know you can, so nobody was in your ass hole. No, all right. So, wow. Yeah, you can just get it, but it's, so you have this dish, and it's completely, but not, Well, can I just say something?

He's like, if you don't mind the dish, or you don't even think medicine for it, it'll just go away. Here's the deal, all right, and most people don't know, I don't know if you know this, but the male G spot which we do have is in your asshole. Yeah, I know that.

That's why I like my asshole being played with. Yeah, it's in your asshole. Inside, it's called tantric. And it's called a lingam, they have a lingam massage and the sacred male G spot. Why did your TV go black? Does that mean you're finding a picture of this? He's like, oh, yeah, he's scrolling for something.

No, no, no, okay. Can I finish my story? Yeah, go ahead, finish your story. Oh, it's just enough. You really want to come, stick your finger in your ass and find you g-spot. I come just fine. So I come just fine.

So the fluid just flies out. Well, how did my p-hole like it was shot out like it was holy fuck I winced I was miserable He did the little pat to keep me calm whatever and then for the next 12 straight hours It felt like I had a shit and pee you know when you get that feeling where it's uncomfortable You have to shit or pee yeah 12 straight hours. I couldn't sit down. I couldn't lay down I had to just pace for 12 hours because everything gets all swollen and fucked up Like when you okay when you have to pee is it the I I had to pee I jerked off

Then I peed and then you know that feeling of is a little pee left Yeah, it won't come out so you I get that in the movies where like I'll pee before I go see a movie Then I'll sit down and move back. I think it'll the pee out you got a little tiny pee last year But I know what Bobby's talking about after sex where it drives your nuts Because now all you want to do is sleep and you feel like you have to pee you get a little time up a million fucking times You get a couple drops out you go back to bed. Yes, you sit there for 10 minutes. I got a pee You go back to that is that the little just just walking it's because the whole prostate is swollen So it's pushing I guess you're bladder whatever so there's less room in there really

So it feels like you have to pee. That's what I've heard. I don't know oh my god So here's the grand finale of the story so 12 straight hours. I felt like I had a shit or pee It was it was one of the most I feel I feel terrible saying this the op. Yeah, but talker than Mike have some fucking class Would you you're my shitty? You're a professional I know this isn't what he did These are fucking good mics. Look at me. How close am I that's a good mic? I'm gonna eat your mic. It's a good right there Wow see now you know what I go through. Yeah, it's terrible deal with everything here's a deal Look at my sitting back and just lounging. I don't have to worry about shit

I don't even give a fuck if this sounds good. Let me tell you some of my show. It's not my podcast. I realized one thing This sounds good. Let me tell you something on my show. It's not my podcast. I realized one thing, the shit that I tried one time, we went live and I tried to do some chat room and some bullshit. Yeah. I can't fucking do anything, but hit the button and go. Yeah.

Because once you fucking have to look at a caller or talk to people, you're fucked. I don't know how you fucking do it. I don't know if this is interesting for anyone, but you just describe my nightmare. When you're like in, you know, behind the board, you have to worry about everything, fucking mic levels.

If this guy's talking over Joe, or if Joe's talking over him, well now how do we fit this phone call in? Oh yeah, then I have to try to be entertaining on top of that. It's a nightmare. It's impossible because you get taken. Because he's talking to me. I'm listening, but then all of a sudden I have to look down at somebody trying to fucking

call it a Skype or something and I'm looking and I fucking for one second zone out. I don't know what the fuck where is that. And I got to come back in and go, yeah, and he knows I'm not listening. Now he's fucked. It's a fucking nightmare. It's like that classic scene in Wayne's World 2 where the guy's like, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh and he's fucked it's a fucking nightmare. So that classic scene in Wayne's world, too With a guy's like, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh. He's putting the Tata. Yeah, yeah, all right. Yeah, that explains it perfectly. Yeah, but there you go. Look at me just

lounging this is not to worry about anything. This is fucking great. Hopefully I tell a story that's funny and then I get the fuck out of here I don't know So 12 straight hours with that feeling blah blah blah. And then he told me that there might be a little blood in your semen. I'm like, all right, no big deal. So the first time, we did it, I was not prepared for what happened. Bright, I came bright red.

Bright red all over the place. That's disgusting. You came when you came? White, red, right, red all over the place. That's disgusting. You came when you came. He warned me there'd be a little blood in my semen. In my semen. Did you come by yourself? No, I was with my wife.

Oh, you had a wittler pull-fire fight. But what the fuck? I was at the, I was at the, I was from one come yelled to another, we were like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I was like, come yelled another really I can freaking out of you pretty much now No I'm not exaggerating it better than than Joe's Mike really really bright red not a hint of white in there

Not a hint of white yellow green whatever the fuck did you laugh? What did you have course we laughing at you do? Oh, yeah, of course. We laughing. After we understood, yeah, of course. But at first, like, what the fuck? And then I had to say, Jesus. He told me this might happen. And it was like that for like, I don't know, two or three weeks where it was slowly got

lighter and lighter until it went back to normal. If I come to red blood, I'd fucking lose my mind. I'm such a hyper-conjure, I don't know what I'd do. I'd throw mind. I'm such a hyperchondriac. I don't know what I'd do. I'd throw up. I would probably sit in the fetal position. Yeah, but if the doctor said it's going to happen, I didn't, you know, what it is going to happen.

And we waited a little, serious. But we waited a little bit. But when it happened, I was, yeah, it was a little bit. Are you scared? What do you like? You got to be like 45, right? Around there, sure. Okay.

Um, I, I, I, I, I, you scared of, of fucking, I mean, something's coming for us. We're at that age, we're something to me. At least me and you, not you, but we're at age. We're at age. I'm not. Yeah, I'm scared. Something's coming.

Something's coming. I mean, it's, it's on its way. Well, thanks for both of us. Well, it's a truth. Enjoy the rest of your podcast. Enjoy the rest of your life. That's not going to be that long. Of course. I think when you hit your 40s, yeah, yeah, when you hit your 40s, everything starts hurting a little more. It never affected me until fucking Jorado died. And then D'Stefano died and it really bloomed. That's why I quit smoking because of my day. I, I, I, it was four months and five days today. But I just remembered him smoking those marbles and he, I remember him telling me, and do it, I'm fine, everything's great. And it's literally two days before he died. I just hit saw the doctor, the T cells,

he didn't have HIV anymore. It was gone. Do you imagine hearing that? Like, I don't have fucking AIDS or HIV. And then two days later, he was gone of a heart attack. And that's why I quit smoking. I was like, I gotta start doing something. And then now it was fucking Patrice, man.

And I can't even shake this one. I can't shake Patrice. I can't shake it either. I'm still just severely bummed out by this one. I think to go with your point though, when someone young that dies close to you, you gotta figure out how to change your own life. And that's the only way this stuff makes sense.

How to make your life better. Like you said, you quit smoking immediately because of Mike D. Stefano. The Patrice thing, I don't even know what you're supposed to do, but somehow you got to figure out how to make your life better, you know. Well, they're all very scary, you know, with, they're all very sad.

With Greg, you can trace a direct cause, you can go, you know, you need on drugs, you know what I mean? But when Mike and Patrice, those were shaking, those were scary because it was like, you can't really pinpoint it. You can't say it was exactly because of this one thing, you know, it just happened. So it's kind of like when you're up, you're up, which is really fucking terrifying. I have a really sick obsession with death, Like it's bad, I gotta get over it because I'm so scared to die.

I go on Wikipedia and I look up like people that died, like that I admire, like singers and stuff. And I read how they died and then I'm like, God damn this guy died in 56, what the fuck? And then it'll be like a lifelong smoker. He had him, I'm like, okay, thank God. He was a smoker And he died from him. Oh, so you're trying to justify it. Like I try to justify the death But when I find people that just died like, you know, like like Mike's a great example where you're like he was healthy

You just did this heart attack. You're like it's fucking scary. But here's the other side of that. Okay, my grandfather lived to The other side of that, okay? My grandfather lived to almost 101, two weeks away from being 101. My grandmother's 90 something now, 91 I think. When you get to the other end, when you live for 100 fucking years or 90 years, it sucks too. My grandmother's in a fucking home,

okay, and doesn't wanna be there. All she wants to be is home. I just, she keeps saying, I just want to go to my house. I want to go to my house and she can. Because it would, unless you're a multi-millionaire, okay, and you have the money to hire 24 hour care for my grandmother to be with her all day long. And they're not, they're there just as a babysitter,

mostly in case something does happen. And they're not, they're there just as a babysitter, mostly. In case something does happen. And she can't be alone. So she has to sit in this fucking home because that's it. I mean, what a, imagine going from being the head of a family, teaching fucking eight kids how to live life, you know, being the top alpha fucking dog in the house to being alone in a fucking room with people that are sicker than you. Well, I just moved my mom into a home and she seems fine. But what do you mean? What do you know, fucking the fuck is wrong with you, man?

Is it a homework and assisted? She's assisted. That's different. Assisted living. Assisted living is different. What? She's the living's a college for old people. It's, you know what?

It's like old dorms. You know what? It's really good time. It's twisted. Yeah. Joe's not lying man. I went to a Christmas party there. They were rocking man.

Yeah, it's just, they were having a good time. And then my mom like, I don't know why you know cuz you know I don't want to hear about her sexual feeling especially cuz she's 75 she's like yeah, I Attracted to someone here. Oh What did she say? Hey, it's a 90-year-old guy She goes experience, but then I swear I swear this is what she said. She goes, he has a really nice body and he has all his teeth.

Ooh, that's a catch, no. And just a few liver spots. I'm like, I don't wanna hear this. You understand though, having all your teeth at the 90? That's like fucking having fake tits at 25. That's like fucking having fig tits at 25. That's like a holy shit. Because most people at 90, I didn't even fucking know this. Their teeth come out.

Yeah, like your teeth just die. Just fall out of your head. And there's no, they haven't figured out how to fix that. Unless you're a millionaire and get all those porcelains in. Yeah, which are even creepier. Which are creepier, but. When they're bugs bunny teeth on old people, what?

Did you see that? My dad at the end of his life had fake teeth. You look, you couldn't tell. Fakedeetho, or Denz or. Slide-ins, or Denz. I don't know. Did he have the fucking rich boss? These are in for good.

Oh, like where they drill to the book stuff. I don't know. Porcelains. I have no idea. Veneers, they call them veneers. I would say, he looked good and he didn't seem like he was bothered by it. Yeah, but they heard. I couldn't tell.

I'll tell you what happens with those. You get, you're talking about herpes of the mouth. You get that with the, with the dentures because you put them in and out and you get, look, you get comfortable. I mean, there's a way to do it every day. Clean them, but people just fuck it. Throw them in. Go eat something. I was just such a lazy piece of shit with that.

And just go, whatever. Yeah. Just fucking brush it off in the sink. Food gets in there and fucking gets in fact, and mouth gets cankers. And then you don't have the fucking, sometimes you eat without them because you just lazy and you're in the fucking bedroom.

That's what I do. Smacking those gums together. When I first met my wife, I remember having to go through her parents' house, the only bathroom was in their bedroom. So in the middle of the night, we had, like, if I slept over a house, I had to tiptoe through the parents' bedroom and you just see, like, her mom, half, like, with a nightie and her father and boxed shorts, like, I'm not hanging out and the fucking teeth and a jar.

I was just like, wow. I used to have a joke. I was like a nut hanging out and the fucking teeth and a jar. I was just like, wow. I used to have a joke. I was like a false teeth burglar. When you eat potato chips without teeth, you can't. You wouldn't do that. That's what happens. Let's say you forgot your teeth and you really want potato chips to sitting on the table. Would you attempt it?

I have a quote. It wasn't ruffled. Yes. No, man. I'm talking about all the jagged edges in there. Yes, I would. Absolutely. You do. Oh all the jagged edges. Yes. I would absolutely do you do I think I would yes you would and you think you think 75 year old women still want to have sex. Yeah, yes really Yes, he porno's with it. Yeah, yeah, but you're a sick fuck Joe

Real life experience You're a fucking sick. I'm just saying like there's porno's were women older than that bang and then are into it. Well, we had a famous porno at our show. It was Century Sex. What show is that? I don't know about it. It's okay. It's a show. Hope you're radio on Twitter.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and banged. A hundred, but she did not look like she was enjoying it whatsoever. She's probably lost and scared. Yeah, the guy was about to find the mole. Am I the mole? Yeah. So fucked up. I'm trying to figure it out myself. I'm looking for the as seen on TV store. Oh God. Yeah, are you my son? I masturbated to, uh, uh, uh, in the show. That's how you fell. A video, two days ago, I masturbated to, in the show and that's how you fell. A video two days ago, I masturbated to a video of a lesbian thing and it was an older lady

and a younger girl and the girl was like 20 and like smoking and the lady had to be 70 and was just like ugh. But the chick ate her box with such vim and vigor and was so fucking, I, she was chomping it. Like, it was a 19 year old box that I was like, what a fucking egg. Where the young girl was eating the whole related and she was just eating it.

So like, and I was just like, I was so big. You know the, you know the, you know the, the outer layer of the tuna. Yeah. And she was just eating it. So like, and I was just like, I was so big. You know the, you know the, you know the, the outer layer of the tuna. But put it throwback me the fact that the hot chick was being so foul was what was turning me on You know old you know you can relate you know sushi you know the the outer layer of the tuna Yeah, it's like the nice soft. Yeah, you know the the nice tuna meat and then there's that skin that hard Yeah, that's what old vagina is like that hot hard skin You know what I mean like it used to be soft and it's think if you leave KFC out overnight

With a skin peel off just congeals. Yeah, just all congealed fucking. I tell you this though on vacation in a rubah. They say what a lot of women are a topos on the beach. And I saw some old I mean look, I don't know if it's I'm getting old, but I was kind of in I was in like when I was in 20, I'd be like, fuck, I was looking at these old droopy Dutch titties and I was like I'd fucking suck them all though.

I'm a attractive 50 year old, attractive 60 year old. That's a great thing. They were I mean they were looking at all though. She had to be like 65 man. I mean I'd go 60. I'd go 60. You would? Because I would probably go 60. You've trashed me in the past for this because I said I'd go 60. You were yelling at me like I was discussing it. Yeah, you were like 20 at the time. No, it's like six months ago Six months ago when did you do the 60-year-old? Those 60-year-old yeah, six no, I know that's my

60-year-old I hooked up with the 60-year-old what she's 60 or 60 That's why I went after okay, and how old are we that's why you went after her. Okay, and how old are we? That's why you went after her? I was like 26. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. That's great. I'm 28, oldie saw goes 50. Oh, there she had big fake tits and she was sexy and 26. It was such a turn on.

28 was so crazy. I'm 26. Yeah, I think I'm with you. Probably 50. So crazy, dude. I love her. Yeah. I love her. I love her. You love her. You're

still over it. You're pining for her. Yeah, at the time. There's a lady lady that I Facebook with sometimes who's like in her 50s and she's fucking hot. Is she like CD though? Is it like when you're CD horny? That's when you Facebook her. No, she's not CD at all. She's very very respectable. Touch a glass. Yeah, she's like a normal She's just very hot it for her you know 55 this a picture. There's something there's something about There's I don't know there's something about a An older woman that likes to fuck I don't like it. Yeah, right? I like the fuck there's a difference between talking to some older woman like hey blah blah

And then trying to get it a fuck but if there's an older woman that's like I want to fucking suck your cock son I like that I forget what move was tingle a little bit when you said that right? Right like that there's something about an older woman that likes to fuck and I'm not talking 30s 40s I'm talking fifth late 50s season vet a season vet I remember I watched this movie I forget what it was it was this old Italian woman had to be in her late late 50s season vet a season vet. I remember I watched this movie I forget what it was it was this old Italian woman had to be in her late mid 50s mother no she was kind of chunky big Ted's Italian woman and her husband was such a dick and He pissed her off one day. She went downstairs and there's a retarded boy downstairs and she just sucked them off

Just like out of she she's a camear. In real life? In a movie. What movie? In real life. Yeah, I was in a fly on the wall. He was hanging out in some old time. It wasn't a porno.

It was a movie. With the retarded gimp in the basement. It was a movie and I forget the name of it. Sounds like a day-all-day-lowish movie. I don't know, but in a shitty period piece that I never want to watch. She had a laundry basket and then her husband found out and fucking like-

She'll do it to her to good. No, she- Three times. He sucked off the repair. He sucked off the repair. He jerked off the repair. Would you- let me ask you a question. Would you ever- you're- how long have you been married?

Three years. I've been married longer than you. One year longer than you. Right? I guess. I- I don't know how to- I've been married three years.

How long have you been married? Four? I didn't give you the information you needed to make that conclusion. I would have said that. You're basically saying right now. You're questioning it yourself. I've never been married, Bobby. Four years.

I don't know why. Do you have no win that exchange? That's your marriage. Yeah, I do. October 10th. Okay. Four years ago. All right, sorry. So it's a little over there.

What's the question? The question is, OP. Are you, have you guys ever talked about, like, sex other than regular married people sex? Like experimenting or doing other crazy stuff? Like going to a strip club or all that other, like, I know guys that do all this other like, you know, Patrice used to do all kinds of crazy stuff. Is that ever crossed your mind? Yeah, not really, to be honest with you.

It hasn't with me either. No. I was supposed to go to a strip club with her for her class project, but what was her class project? No, she had she was taking classes. It's something about I don't know some sexuality type class and You know go to strip club right about it and I was gonna go with her But then she just faked it and made believe she went Got a nail the paper though. I was able to press pretty good I don't I don't think there's a face on another story where we did go to strip club in. Got a knee on the paper though. I was nailed it. That's pretty good. Because it was based on another story

where we did go to a strip club in Philadelphia, a place called the elephant graveyard. It's called the elephant graveyard? Well, quickly I went down to Philly and the whole Philly crew there, Lindsey's brother and stuff said, look, I got an afternoon for us, man. We're going to the elephant graveyard. It's the strip club where all the old strippers go literally to

die. He's heard about elephants where they go off and die. So like, cool. And they like, we'll have a lot of laughs. These strippers are just brutal. What's the club really called? I don't know, to be honest with you. It's been so many years ago. You want to go there sometime? Well, I'm from Philly. Yeah, but I know because he liked the old strippers, but you go right now. As it goes, yeah, as it goes, as it goes, as you just Yeah, but I know because he liked the old strippers, but Right now As it goes as it goes as you just explain the jerked off to an 80 year old lady get their push I said I said it as an 80 year old lady. I'd suck you off and you got tingles. Yeah, all right

The twist you could roleplay with me as the old one The twist is we go in the place and they a new ownership and it's all just young really hot strippers Thanks, but we did stay and we had a really good time But me and my now wife went up to the bar to get a couple beers and this woman comes up to us and says hi What's your name? I'm like, oh this is Greg. This is my what you know my girlfriend Whatever and also she goes nice to meet you and starts stripping thinking we want like a couple thing a couple's thing and stripping thinking we want like a couple thing a couple thing and this is why I love my girl me and her at the exact same start exact same time you think we would maybe just go with it We just crack up left that like how pathetic and stupid this is and now she's mortified in barrisons

She's trying to put her clothes on top back on But anyway, there's nothing there's nothing better than fucking when you when you oh, sorry go Well, you're already interrupted so I'm sorry I'm sorry You're a little what thing the thing with the thing you don't even know what's wrong with you I pissed off a stripper again the other night. What'd you do? You look at me to tell you sorry Me to tell you guys yeah, it's good. I think that's worth a cutoff.

Go ahead. I was with a friend of ours. Yeah. A guy that we all know and love. Yeah. Actually, after Patrice's funeral. You went to a strip club after his fucking funeral. Well, you know, that's twisted.

It wasn't twisted. We were drinking and we were sad and we were like let's go out somewhere Man, let's let's go look at pussy What's a strip club? Do you think Patrice would have disapproved of this? Yeah, no, I don't yeah, I do. Do you really? Yeah, no, you don't I think Patrice would be like really man That's what you did on my funeral Really man, come on. I'll do the truth. God. I'm a tree. You get to see you you see me. I'm a ghost. What's up, Joe? How you doing, man? Yo, man, what's up? What would you do?

Would you do the night of my after my funeral? I cried like a fucking baby and then what and then I drank Huh, and then we had a good crashing right and then I went to a strip club with a buddy of ours You went to a strip club man. I was trying to deal dude. I don't know They don't want to go home and they want to be alone. What the fuck man. I was trying to deal, dude. I don't know. I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to be alone. What the fuck, man, I'm alone. Stop. Jesus, this is my man. I'll say, you know what, freak me out the night of at Caroline's?

I looked into all the black comics run one section with Keith Roberts in Little Kev, and I go, I said to Amy Schumer, I go, it's changed. She goes, what? I go, it's changed. Without him here, it's changed. She goes, what? I go, it's changed. Without him here, it's changed. I go watch this. I walked right through them twice, and no one said one thing today.

There was major trashings going on over there. One, I walked through that fucking thing, and nobody, if Patrice was there, Bob, I'm like, look at stupid Bob, where are you going, Fatso? He would have said, there's no way a bald, chunky white guy could have walked through the fucking middle of 20 black comedians and fucking not gonna trash him.

Not one word, twice. And I looked at Amy in the middle of them, just holding my arms, I told you, it's fucking, it's not the same. It's not the same Right, it's not the fucking same. No, of course not stupid Keith Robinson fucking drinking the swirls Stop drinking and go back to being miserable cutie Keith and ruined parties Pist off. Yeah, you pissed off a strip. Anyway, it's good Well now I feel bad that I went that night. I mean should right help. Yeah, I think I mean I should went home and just chilled out

I couldn't and reminisce the day Stroke in your don't stroke your fear like you've seen been Playing with his beard like Positificating it's it's getting long. I like it. It's good. I know when big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause.

I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. I'm not going to give you a big round of applause. Yeah, it's cold in New York today, so it is a girl hat. No, this is the one I bought off the street from five bucks Not that one the one in your pocket. That's not the hat. You didn't see this hat. Oh my god That's a great fucking head. That's a girl. What's it fucking cashmere? All right fucking head put it on your head then Joe

That's why you know what a hat that's my wife's hat that had stinks fucking great head. You look like a girl It's you look like a bonnet you look like a fat Mary Tyler more Wait this hat's worse the one I bought off the Great no, that's a great head if you want to lift fucking crates on a dark Deadly is catch remember thank you. You want to Thank you Oh Breaking out the bro and that right the brad to hat. You know why it's a good hat look at my ears They're covered. I don't have to pull in the town and I got a pom-pom

Okay, you look like a seven-year-old about to go sledding. That's right Shit like one of the characters from Christmas story You don't even like this do a great fucking hand. I love the bro. What are you talking about? Where the heck? It's a girl's hat. It's a girl's hat, bro.

And I was gonna wear it just because I was really cool. You see what it looks like on you. Let me see what it looks like on you. Yeah, well, let's see what it looks like. Fine. This is exciting for the podcast. Yeah, it is. Take that girl's hat off you fucking faggot.

You want to do it, Joe? It doesn't work. It doesn't work. It's my hand first. You have to help. You have to help. Yeah, it is take that girls had off you fucking faggot I saw that coming a Fucking mile away Joe Yeah, cuz you are begging him to put it on Fuck it. Yeah, but you're you know, yeah, I got first of all let's just be you know, let's get this over like probably Joe Joe and and monster voice. It's Christmas. Mm-hmm, and then you know what dude? Podcasts, mm-hmm got you guys a present what so here put that in the middle It's for this is for both you you guys pick now you get nothing open

I'm gonna set Joe nothing open. Why? Can I get that one? I don't know how to get anything. Hang on, I'll set you up. No, it's not the port. I want you to open that. Now, you guys pick which one you want, okay?

All right. And then I'll tell you which one was yours, okay? So there you go. Open that up there, monster voice. We get big fucking monster hands. Whoa, what the hell? Oh, what the hell? What the hell?

Okay. Oh, man. You know what that is? It's an asterisk. Yeah, it's an asterisk, okay? Okay. Oh, man. You know what that is? It's an asterisk. Yeah, it's an asterisk, okay? Open up the other one. Joe, here you go. Joe, which one do you want?

I don't want the asterisk. Oh, look, look. You don't know if you don't know what you're doing. You don't even know what the other thing is. This is some sort of a... Oh, these are the closures that I had. You had those. Yeah. Where are they?

They all broke. So now you got them again. Yay! Those are yours, Joe. Thank you. Explain to the listeners what you got. Well, you said of these coasters that actually burled left behind. Right. They're glass coasters and they all say things like drunk sober. Then they have the definitions of each thing. Right. They all fucking broke and all the letters peeled off and all that shit because the years are wear and tear. As I drink, hope. Yeah.

This is a new set of those. Bye, thank you. There you go. And then you know what, even though Quentin smoking on the sixth, that's still good for the pot. Yeah, you're not going to do it. Now, did you get the present I sent? Well, you didn't get me in present.

I sent it. You didn't send a present, Joe. Did it get lost in the mail? He is a fine Believe that how many times do we have him over here? I don't believe my present got lost that mail Okay, I forgot I gotta get fucking what they're not for you to open. Why can I open these? I love you baby because you're gonna open them and then they're gonna fall I want to take it. I want to take him to Bye Don

See you later. Bye, darling. Sober drug by dawn. Yeah, so There you go stripper here's your coasters the stripper I Pistor off so bad love of God. She comes up to me. No, this is for you because the other stripper story that she comes up to me. She's talking to me for like 20 minutes. Okay, she goes, you want to get a lap dance? And I go, yeah, I guess so. Yeah, okay, where?

And she goes right there and she points to a couch like next to us. And our friend is on the couch getting a lap dance. And I'm like, no, my buddy's sitting right there. And it's out in the open. She's like, well, she's gonna lap dance. And I was like, I'm not gonna lap dance. I'm like, no, my buddy's sitting right there. And it's out in the open. She's like, well, that's when you get a lap dance. I was like, I'm not gonna lap dance there in front of everybody.

It's weird. She goes, well, what do you want? And I go, I don't know, is there like a private room? She's like, yeah, and I go, okay. And I go, how much is it? And she goes, okay, let's go to the private room. It's $400. I go, I go, are you nuts?

What could you possibly do in there that would cost 400? I want you to explain to me, and she goes, fuck this, it storms up. Good. What a fucking plot. You got a break character. I literally was haggling with her. Like I was buying like a Jewish guy buying steak at the fucking spot.

Hey, why are you gonna get, why did I get if I go back there? What is it gonna do? Character stupid. Oh, shut up. I like the character. I like the character. I like the character. I like the character. Stay get the fuck you gonna get what if I get if I go back there What is it? The character stupid oh I like the character I like the character to add a little spice to play in story about it

It was a stop making him insecure about doing characters, Joe it Stinks as bad as that story stinks I got a stripper man who doesn't get strippers man I'm from So wait a minute you're poor, but I want to know what you what? I don't know. What do you think? What did you think you get for the $400? I don't know. I was drunk. What could you possibly get? I'm kind of with the man hopefully hopefully other older older strippers pussy's lips on a necklace

like a non-veh like a non-veh If you're going there, she was gonna fucking go but if you're gonna bottle a shit. If you're going there, she was gonna fucking go. But if you get a bottle of shit champagne, if you're going into a private area and say $400, what is she giving you? I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving.

I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll tell you what you're giving. I'll then you sticky, digging it. And then, that's where it's at 400. Oh my god, that'd be worth to four. One time I went to, what do you think she would have done for 400 though?

Nothing, that was my point. Not even anything. No, they would have given you like four lap dances in private instead of one out in the open for 20. That's all it would have been. And every time you looked away, that's why I was yelling at her. There had to be a little something else.

No, there's not. I'm telling you. If you go to a real ding dingy dirt hole fucking strip club, they'll blow you or something like that. But not at least in Times Square. They're not doing shit like that. Nah. Well, if you get, let me stop.

If you have the money. If you, if you, if you, if $400 didn't phase you, if you went, yeah, let's go. And that was not, yeah, you get your dick sucked in there. Absolutely. If you, I bet if you had four. And that was not, yeah, you get your dick sucked in there. Absolutely. If you, I bet if you had four bills and went in the back of there, if you did that, you would have, you would have came.

Square strip, apps of fucking literally, you would have, I know a guy, you did it. I know a guy, a friend of mine came to me. It sounds like a lie. I don't, what do I, lie? Doesn't it sound like a made up story to back up his claim? Cause you didn't, you didn't hear the whole story.

He didn't lead with my friend went in there. Let me tell you why you're wrong. My friend went in, he, I kept going, I don't believe it, and then he finally went, I know a guy that did it. That's what you do when you caught in a fucking, I know I agree. I know what, I agree.

No, I know what I do. I know what I do. I agree with you. That doesn't make perfect sense, but honestly, I know, Mike Loria, I know a guy, I was in jail with him. And the reason why it, it folded in, I was, I believed a guy, I was in jail with him. And the reason why it folded in, I believed it, and then I remembered why I believe it, is because Mike, my friend Mike Loria,

who came to town with a priest, and stayed at the Marriott in a suite, and dropped a thousand dollars, I think it was a fucking knife on this hotel suite. He kind of lost his mind. Why was he with a priest? Dude, he kind of had, we were in Juby Jail together, and he kind of lost his mind. Why was he with a priest? Dude, he kind of had, we were in Juvijale together and he kind of cracked something happened. Sad fucking story about this kid.

He went back to jail. It was crazy fucking life, but he kind of tweaked, came to New York with a priest. I went and visited, I don't know dude, it was weird. No, I'm just saying wow. And then he goes like this, he goes dude, where do you, you know those places you used to tell me the massage, probably places or the strip clubs, did they around here? And I was like, yeah, I didn't know

cause I had just moved to New York. So I didn't know real, I knew the peep shows, I go to the peep shows right over here on eighth. I showed him a couple and I told him how to do it. And then he called me later that night and he told me he went to the strip club, dropped a lot of money. And then the girl met him and night and he told me he went to a strip club, dropped a lot of money.

And then the girl met him and took him to one of the shit motels. Her tells. That's different though. No, but she did shit easy. But that's different. No, it's not. She did shit in the fucking strip club for money and then met him after. Because she knew she had a mark.

I used to date a stripper. When they find out they got you, they got a good one. They're a whale. They, they slow play you as much as they can. They'll make you fucking jizz in your pants and they'll get you to, and they'll keep talking to you and then they'll meet you after. You'll go out, they'll let you jerk off,

they'll jerk you off and they keep slow playing you sucking as much money as you can. And, and, and, and, and, until you realize. And one guy I knew in boss in a comic woke up, he had Sucker written on his fucking. No, come on. Sorry.

Sucker written on his forehead. Yeah, sharpie. Oh, yeah. Would it say welcome to the wonderful world of AIDS on the mirror and other urban legends? It's not an urban legend. I still can't believe it. You know, I'm missing a kid.

Why would I have to laugh at that? What a bath of ice. Why would I lie to you? It's in a bathtub ofper-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per-per excuse that the priest brought him to New York. I first met him the first time I went to Juvee Jail and he was a cool dude, okay? The second time I went back, he showed up, we were going in Roxbury, kind of near Patrice's house and there was a Juvee Jail over there. He came out, I was excited, I was like, oh shit Mike, shaved head, born again Christian and he wouldn't fucking talk to me in the back of the car,

wouldn't fucking acknowledge me. And we were friends a year before in Juby Joe. Don't fuck with that Joe, it'll fall over. And then, I'm gonna tell you like a really shitty summer camp. It was like the year before you're going back. And then years later, years later we went up and rehab together.

I did a year rehab with him. And he was a born again Christian there too. And he wound up telling me that he was a psycho born again Christian where he would beat people up Who didn't believe in Jesus like crazy shit then he lived dude he lived he lived with a fucking gay guy He was a born again Christian and then the priest I don't think the priest was gay, but he wound up it was crazy I know Joe. You know, I just put his head down because it sounded like it sounds like he was doing a lot of non-Jesus thing Yeah, man, but I'm back again. I'm liberal to gay guy

I'm going to New York for a priest and I mean I'm at a strip club not for my bagwacked Isn't that isn't that isn't that fucking very born again Christian? I don't think I don't think that I don't think that I think that is born again Christian that all that's up That all that stuff and let let the the reveal that you gave about these strippers and how they work and what they do, for anybody out there listening that ever says, strip clubs objectify women, you're a dumb fucking cunt. If you ever think that or say that,

the only people ever being abused in strip clubs are men. It's fucking outlandish. I did a stripper, a few few of them and it's absolutely true. They fucking play on us. I dated one too. Unplay on us. Fucking believable. They know, they have so in on it.

Oh, they are fucking, they know exactly what they're doing and it's all, it's their car salesmen. They're trying to get as much money out of you and make you come back. They want you to come back and come back and come back and they know when to push you and know when to not. And then if you finally get wind of it and they'll fuck you. All right, I'll just move on to this fucking valley.

This is what a selfish piece of shit, one of them. I've dated a few. They weren't all bad, but let's not get crazy. What? Not a few. You've dated two. I've dated a few. Two.

A couple. A few. A couple. Three. Three. Really? Do you name them? Give us their stage names. I've dated a few two a couple a few a couple three three three really I do you name them give us this stage names go remember the Lexus Mercedes aqua go those are my three go Portia but the first one ever dated I was one of first their doing comedy yeah this I remember I took her to a really she never banged me dude she really strung me along. It was fucking horrible

And I was such a pussy and had no game at the time. I didn't know any better I can I suppose to go ahead take the hits to But I Challenge Joe's not laughing at it. He's just he can't His room is actually real this I think she was using your jump. Yeah. And she's not banging, yeah?

No, I know, that's from saying. Take her out to nice dinners and stuff. I know, she really played in her downtown. She really fucking gold dug me, man. It hurt. She didn't dig for gold. She dug for nickels. Bronze.

No, I was working in a regular job still, so I had some cash. How much cash? Come on. Dude, I had a, for gold, she dug for nickels. Bronson. Nah, I was working in a regular job still, so I had some cash. How much cash? Come on. Dude, I had a, what the fuck, who cares? Don't get mad, look what you get mad for. I know you can't, that's how this fucking bot guess works. You fucking dummy, you can't. That's what you think you're gonna change it?

Shut the fuck up and tell it. We bust your balls and you try to tell a story Yeah, that's how it works. Yeah, so fuck you when you rip What's fucking idiot? I didn't know you had a real job. I'm not being a bro You get really mad just go I'm telling you. No, what was your real job? What was your real job that you didn't make any money yet? I don't remember. You don't even remember. You said you had a real job.

But Joe just got broke. I never had a real job. Joe's not right. Joe's broke. I like talking to people that had a real job. So what was your real job? I had some poor shit. I worked in like a fucking nursing home or something.

I don't remember. I want you to talk to the guy who just got rid of his real job. We can go. Really, congratulations. Thank you very much. You were in a nursing home? I lived, you know what it was. Whoa, go. Really, congratulations. Thank you very much. You were gonna nursing home? I lived, you know what it was? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Exactly. Thank you, Bobby. Yeah, this is, now we know where the old fetish comes from. How the, this bed, this bed pants made Joe's wini move. See, this is why we pry and ask questions. This is where the expert, he's the 30 year expert. You know what, Opie comes in like, we're like a podunk town and he's like a detector from a big city

starts getting shit that we never hope he's the guy they bring in to make the company get more money to make more profit but it goes with my theory opi is the flak in podcast consultant it goes with my theory though if you're an asshole doctor you love assholes if you are podiatrists against you right you love feet. So you go into a profession where you're like, fuck yeah, I get to look at feet or as a passion. I did. No, I did.

So you obviously searched out a job at a nursing home because you had some fucking weird thing going on. No, I didn't. I was in there. I didn't, there was, or did the nursing home lead to the fetch? I can say this with sugar the egg. The way you're fuck.

I can say this with all conviction. I was not, I was not in any sense attracted to any of the crying tales're fuck. You say this with all conviction that I was not. I was not in any sense attracted to any of the clientele. Joe likes asplay, Jello and old Pussies. So he works out of fucking nursing home. Bing Bing Bing. So Joe has no factory like older women and now we're finding out. I'm not 90.

Well, you were, I mean, you're just a shade off. But you're working at a nursing home. They start around, you know, some go a little early. They go around 65. I want to go higher than shade off, but you're working at a nursing home. They're they start around you know some go a little early I wouldn't go around 65. I wouldn't go higher than no they now some do people were 85 years old with Parkinson's and Alzheimer's did you have to give them showers? No, you have to scrub them down Be honest I had to take some of the men to the bathroom sometimes to help them go to the bathroom But never we have to hold their penises. No, but you had to wipe them sometimes. Really? You had to wipe the shit? Yeah, it's brutal.

Oh! It's brutal. It's brutal, yeah. That's what a fucking man does, dude. Well, yeah, a wipe of God. Oh man. A wipe of God's ass. Yeah.

Really? How was it? It was horrible. Was it different color? Like the skin different colors from having poop in it? Smells great. Did you take the care and make sure that toilet paper was totally clean? Or did you just wipe it a couple times? Just give a slap and you'll throw it away. Did you wrap the care and make sure that toilet paper was totally clean or did you just wipe it a couple times just give a slap Did you wrap did you wrap the toilet paper around a finger and then swipe it and then let it pop in and pop out?

The first great war how clean did you get their assholes? Clean dude I took care of those people there so they didn't have cracky ass after you're done No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, you really, you have to like really talk them down because they because they have all Sammas only what the fuck you're doing? Yeah, they think you're raping them. Yeah, they're like, what are you doing? Like you have to you have to and the there it was always two of us. It wasn't just me and the Fucking wonder man. They're wonder why you try to change it with two people. You had a hole. You had the guy that held them down? Well, no, I had to be a witness there to make sure nobody did anything fat. Why are you taking my party? Why are you? Why are you? Why are you? Why are you? Why are you? Why anything fat. Why are you taking my party on the hard-earned office? Why are you? Why are you?

Why are you open? Why are you so face angry while you're changing me? Did you smother any of them? No. You're not like the angel of death right? So you fucking, so what happened? Did you just put the pill on their face just for a little bit? The stripper story is why I didn't want to get into this.

The stripper story had no point anymore. Do you understand how great the stripper story brought us to you, raped old people. This was the prequel. I never raped them. You never raped them. Of course she didn't. You know, so what happened now? With what? Ah.

Right. With what? The stripper? That was mad. So you had a real job, man, just in pain. You got a real good reason. You guys understand that man. I'm just. We get that you're in pain and that comes across as angry the next podcast if you're not we we get what's Happen and Joe all right, but we're not gonna let you get away with it. We're not gonna just fucking accept it and be hey

You're right Joe has hey Joe's having a tough day. Let's let him slide shut off You wouldn't let any of us slide, Joe. You mother fucker. What? All the you mother fucker who came over here when you were quick and smoke and you were miserable and took you out to the steps and sat there and said, Bobby, it's all right, dude. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Who's called me in the middle of the night and go, dude, can we talk and sat in front of

a fucking church? You got a good point. I mean, you got a good point. Something I told you not to do. Nine fucking time before. You got a good point. Exactly. It good boy. You got a good boy. Something I told you not to do. Nine fucking time before. You got a good boy. Exactly. It's called Friendship Joe.

Back and forth. Okay. Hang on one second. You know nothing about this. You don't. And you should be left out. Next podcast. We're going to actually get you a mascot suit to wear on the show for now.

How mad are you? How mad are you? I'll do that. How mad are you? What? What? Bad you want dad to have to have a day job again. I'm not going to wake out. What are you doing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So I want him to have this. I want him to have just really fast, awesome success for the next six months. I want this Guinness story's doing and MTV

and some people to be interested in boom and then I want it all sucked away. It was so. Because I want the fall. What's the MTV thing? No, I'm just saying, that's what I want. I want. He just cocks like a book to TV show that I was up for.

You did? Then I got begged to audition for. He booked it. What was it? It was awful. Is it over? It's nothing to be proud of. It's nothing to be proud of.

It was awful. It went awful. What was it called? I want him to have Joe. It's awful. Yeah. I want him to have, like, oh my god, I did it. I want him to take it like a, get a limo from a show and drive home and be like

I'm gonna have one of these places someday and just to have a wow Like where a tear comes out and he thanks. Thank you God and then he goes it goes to bed and then all of a sudden Peace by peace. It's just such trickling away I want the agent to fucking move on to another agency, but not take them and the other people don't like them I want the manager to fucking hey I don another agency, but not take them and the other people don't like them. I want the manager to fucking, hey, I don't want to be in this business anymore. I want it all to be taken away. And then all of a sudden,

he's at a fucking restaurant again back there. And you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna do the podcast live from SOTA's fucking table. And you're gonna bring us coax and guacamole. I'm not going back there. You ain't going to, that's your five before I go back there. I ain't going back to that place.

I'll do the steakhouse. Yeah. Can I tell you my fantasy? Yeah. That's yours. That's a great one. It's a good one. It's great.

He gets a little taste. This is my. Yes. I want to I want it to keep getting bigger and bigger for the next like year, maybe two years, really. Two years. Like I'm talking like fire fucking rock and success. Right.

Yeah. He puts out an album oh my god the industry is like industry and comics like are like this is the best comedy I'm that ever came out right this is I really hate fucking amazing yeah yeah and then I wanted to be so big that he gets his own TV show yeah and I want him to be driving home tired oh my god from the TV show set one day He's got his own show hit album. He's got money in the bank. It's like unstoppable. He hasn't even talked to us Yeah, it's stop it. No, no, no wrong. He does talk to us on top of it. He's a great guy

Oh, he's a great guy. He's like he's the guy we know he's the monster voice we know now It's great guy and he's driving home one night and he's tired because he's working so hard. And are you giving me the kidnason ending? No, no, and he crashes. And he has to be in a wheelchair with like brain, like the way the guy that got shot for Reagan is. Right, yeah. You know, and Brady.

Yeah, like the way Brady is. And he has to do interviews when he's like, I am not, same boy stuff. Same boy, same boy. Oh, I'm not flat. He actually is under the giant voice all the time. Yeah. And he has to say stuff like... He has to say stuff like, that two years was the best two years in my life.

And I wouldn't trade it for the world. Oh, God. Can you do the voice? Where he has to pretend like he's still. You're a good guy. I love all my friends. Oh, stop. I want to say thank you. You know what, Pupacas.

Thank you to Bobby and Joe. They go be, they go be. I want you donating and so. Don't open grandfills. Forgive me this wheelchair on the show. All of my money is being used to take out a shank. Thank you, thank you, your girlfriend. Thank Linda, my lovely girlfriend who is staying with me through all of this.

But had to go Did every celebrity now with friends now with good friends now since my good friend and Every celebrity when that happens the same thing like like they were like pussy I said all of a sudden their wife is like a fat cell Yeah, they're like she's the best woman ever You know like she's the best woman ever That's the stupid door knock on that one. Thank you anymore Sorry, that's bad. I actually started getting like bad like Good you fucking animal. Yeah, I don't I just mind was just normal I just was like I just want to do the taste fame now. Oh

You let me ask you a question. You were at the fucking top of the shit. Right? You don't have to rub it in. Now that's been five years, but you've been there. I'm not talking about this specific time. The last time when you were syndicated, was that the, the, the most famous you've ever been? Um, or was it WNW? No, W any W. We never we never made it back to that that that was one you were on the afternoons. Oh God, we never made it back to that level. I was just huge. Oh my God. Couldn't fucking leave my house. I used to download Opian Anthony when they're on W any W of Kazah in college. And I was in

Tucson, Arizona, which was on the market. You in. It still hurts to this day that we, you know, did that church incident at the, you know, at the peak of our success because we never got back there. Never. Nope. It hurts. I was in the car in a limo with Jimmy when he found out you guys were fucking dushed. Really? He did a Cleveland Browns.

Oh, right. Yeah. And I was just like, holy shit, man, this agree. Just did this fucking kind of hell gig, but it was good money. Limmo, we, it was unbelievable with the Mortons. And then we're in the limo coming back. And he got the fucking call. And I just remember him. It was like, Holy shit. He was suicidal. I would imagine. It was weird, man. It was fucking weird. But that was that fame.

I mean, you literally couldn't leave you fucking house. I mean, an exaggeration, but I mean, recognized everywhere. Everywhere. Fuckin' everywhere. We had a good comeback, but nothing, you know, not even close to where we were. And the comeback was on K-Rock. Well, and next time. And next time.

We're now known in more places. We're known across the country, but it's, uh, it's spread out thin. You know, when we were broadcasting on regular radio in these big cities, it was unbelievable. We had hundreds of people waiting outside radio stations for us when we came to town. When you came just when you went to a city, man, to do our show. Two, two, three hundred people sometimes. Do you miss that? Fuck yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you just know anybody else. There's other people who would have been like, no man, I mean, it's kind of we had it. It was cool. Yeah, it was those of us. Oh, he would have had some type of,

yeah, you fucking miss. I mean, the world, you know, the world has changed. Regular radio sucks. People are distracted by their phones. We had them, man. There was nothing else to distract you back then. Yeah. You know, now like you're doing,

everyone's doing podcasts. There's so much, you know, competition now and so many other things to listen to. But back then when you had a hot show, man, you had them. Shit. You fucking had them. That's what sucks about the business now, but what's also great about it, it's like,

it's great that you can get this technology in your hands. It's great that you can do these things, but it's like you about it, it's like, it's great that you can get this technology in your hands, it's great that you can do these things, but it's like you're saying, dude, it takes away, there will never be, ever, again, unless satellite completely collapses and all this shit somehow goes away. There will never be another you guys in Stern. There will never be something that got that big.

You know, I was on man on cow head show, right and Cow head Radio guy is cool guy. Is that man cow? No cow head Dic head. I know that's why I always have your same cool Just the shit cow head is really cool for cow heads fucking great down in Tampa so he he's kind of bringing he's kind of taking I love what he's doing because he's taking all this stuff the the the podcast the the video the Twitter the Facebook all that stuff and his show and merging them yeah making them one so

what you guys did too right that's what I'm trying to do, buddy. He's on regular radio and he's still, he's real edgy, real funny. He's got a good crew behind him and it's, I love what he's kind of, he's kind of holding that torch, what you guys in Stern did. He's kind of holding on to it a little bit. I mean, barely to be honest with you.

I mean, he's successful, but. You don't think it's gonna actually come back, like everything comes in cycles. Well, it's kind of like you. I mean, he's successful, but you don't think it's gonna actually come back, like everything comes in cycles. Well, it's kind of like TV. You guys talk about TV. There was a time when you were on TV, your career would explode the next day, right? Now you're on TV.

We're all on TV. It's true. It doesn't do anything. You know what it is? And yet it doesn't do anything, but because there's so many channels now, that's what's happening with radio and the podcast. Look at our show.

Now all you guys are doing podcasts. So our fans are listening to the Opian Anthony show. But then they're checking out Bobby's podcast and Burz podcast and you know, Rich and Bonnie's podcast. There's so many more choices now, which makes it impossible to have that one massive audience for one show. Spray out. You know what? All these different places. Plus the facts You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? can you, you know, help me promote my stuff now? I, that's weird. That's weird. We never had that back then. That's weird. It is weird. I mean, regular motherfuckers have thousands of people on Twitter. Yeah. It's a car. How did you get them?

You got them from somebody else's fame. Yeah. Which is fine. I mean, it's fine. It's all good. I got my money. I said, we didn't. Yeah, you're a fondle sword on this one.

Starting now, I got to laugh for you guys. I'll fuck with this. So you can I just say you got money? Huh? You got money. Yeah. You got like fuck you could just say fuck. I don't have to work anymore.

Really? No. Oh. Yeah. I don't like talking about it. Look at him. Look at Mausah voice eating cookies because he has to. Because he has no

Those cookies the Anthony you waiter Or oh, yeah Wasn't gonna get away You miss your pal, don't you I don't have a few beers with your job That's not your rib, it's your liver, you idiot. I'm gonna go that one. Give me a cookie, Fatsel. Would that have gone left if I said open?

What? If I said open, would that have gone left? No, it wasn't funny. It was a dumb joke. No, it just said it to me. Yeah, I want you to serve all of us. You fucking waiter. That's funny. Am I really punching up your jokes on the podcast? Take the hit, move on. You fucking hurt, fucking deer. Not then. Thank you. I'll take the hit, move on. That worked. I really thought I was

gonna get something on the deer. I thought the waiter thing was funny. I thought it was nice to meet. His podcast stinks. I mean, really fun inside. I kind of liked it. No, no, not this one because of you. You fucking insecure asshole. No, I kind of liked it. I'm just giving you a compliment.

I don't give a fucking bit of good a ball. I'm just telling you, I'm just telling you I had a good time and I like just stupid podcast. We really fucking stink as you're doing. I don't even know how to listen to this shut up baby. What do you mean? You know how to listen to this I have never heard your podcast. It's on riot. Yeah, you have I hear good things about it I don't listen to other people stop You have I'm not listening to Bobby's

Polly you didn't hear the Bailey. No, I know I know you know what I did hear part of that because we brought a tar show Yes, are you gonna I mean how did I hear that? The first time I want to talk about it. You didn't hear it. I just talked about it. You know we unless I'm listening to what part of it. Yeah, yeah, let me ask you question You said we you said you might play this shit on the on the show one of those are podcasts. Yeah, that'd be great Well, you're supposed to give me the belly J1. I'm gonna get it to you How do I get it to you? What I have it delivered? Yeah, man. All right. How's that work like a CD? Oh God you need people. I do need people

Oh, we're not fucking people makes it so much easier. I know dude You have that's the one thing I look at your show and you have these people I love that just what you say you do this with your hand and then all of a sudden the fucking thing is on your screen When I used to do overnight to K rock I would see like all those guys in there earlier They're great for the show and they just be doing everything Sam Travis Danny Iraq which you rock you rock showed up you knew most of the plannings are but I've been doing radio for 30 years Most of the time it did it myself. I did all those you know all those things those things. It's nice to, you know, have it where it's at. You had to do that shit back in the day, like,

everything, A, A, F, right? Everyone me and Aunt met 17 years ago. It was just me and him. We had nobody. You had to do it yourself. Everything. And then we had to do a tape, those fucking tapes. Then we sort of had a producer, you know,

during the any delby days, but we, you know, I still had to be, you know, focused on all that crap behind the scenes. Now I just come in and chill out. Finally. Finally. Yep. Finally. This is too serious.

There's no limbs there, Joe. Well, I was the Joe. I wanted Joe. Joe, when he times you, he would always do the rock thing and he adds a lot of fucking laughs. But his ribs hurt. So we got, we got a broken Joe. Cause I just did finally and usually anytime

I see finally Joe will go I know finally I can't even do it. I can't even do it I'm in pain man. I'm in pain. I got to leave town tomorrow. I'm I'm really overwhelmed right now Yeah, well, I don't mind but I'm trying to like Woody Allen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you are right I use my idol he has to be Yeah, I took a fall he took a fall in the shower He did call you it took a fall you wait a minute He didn't call you Woody Allen like you like Woody Allen the fucking genius Comments director. He called you Woody Allen the whiny Jew

Narotic. Yeah, don't don't get carried away with that. He's my idol. Can I stop complimenting you dummy? Can I think he was stupid? Can I ask you was stupid? Can I ask Joe? Can I ask Joe something? Just me? If you don't like it, you can just cut out the podcast fine. I just saw Ben Eider power stay the night. Yeah. Is that a good movie? I loved it.

Why? Why did I love it? And what was going on? It was filmed beautifully, but I'm confused. What do you mean what was going on? Was that all in his head? No. He was really meeting Hemingway.

Yeah, it was, yeah, it was, you know, a little soup in there. You cutting this out. Bobby just, it was yeah, it was you know, I was Cutting this out Bobby just made the sign like give me a pen. I got it. I got a mark where I got The Bobby move is give me a brown No, I'm not coming this out. I love this. I'm as well. He was a nosh Well, he listens to this review of Midnight in Paris. I'm like, but it was a big movie so maybe so we don't cut anything out of podcast at all Nothing gets kind on I said she'd never do ever I like the natural

Joe's waiting to be in there I like to own Wilson in it and I like the movie I like tower shot, but what the fuck was that about yeah really was happening It was like a super natural it was super natural thing. Yeah, he's he well he that's you know that was in his imaginary no imagination No, that's not you know it wasn't his imagination because the I'm spoiler alert if anybody's gonna watch Well, because the detective the detective was you saw what happened to the detective and the detective said he did get in a car Yeah, I didn't see the movie really you're never gonna watch it. I mean because it'd be over your head watch it. How do you know? Because it'd be over your head. I've never seen Bobby with a satir face with Brownian as mouth.

You wouldn't. You know he's right. Bobby knows he's right. I have it. Because I'm in. You can't sound intellectual with a brownie mouth of brownies from me. I know. I know. I know. I know. He's trying to show his intelligence. Stop his face. Jesus, Bobby's spurt. That's all of that.

That's a very good point, open. I just fucking stuff in my face. I just wiped it all off with your hands. Wait, speaking of unbelievable movies, the six-minute trail at a Batman, everyone's talking about, that you see at the beginning of... Mission possible, IMAX. Motherfucker. I wonder if you can see it tomorrow.

You're gonna see what? I wonder if you can see Mission possible. And I'm at... Just to see the... I could have walked out right after the six minutes. And I'm really... That they took my voice and put it on Bane. I'm really upset that you fucking waited to say that joke.

What? So stunk. I didn't. So you know what? I'm gonna take the punch and move on, Joe. Oh, he can do a lesson. It was a time traveling film joke. I took it in a movie. Yeah, I know. Can we finish talking about one fucking thing? You ADD assholes? I'm sorry. Is it really a time traveling piece? Yeah, well, that mean that's part of it. I know. I just checked cheating on him. If you want to really get into this, I don't that mean that's part of it. I don't know. I just check cheating on him. If you want to really get into this, I don't think the movie is about time travel. I think time travel is the device for what the movie's really about,

which is I wish this podcast were about time travel so I could go back five minutes to end it. Wow, you're so happy. You fucking stink, fuck you in your review. This is why you're- He's a genius. Shut up. This is why you're never gonna watch it or if you do you want to

get a rave reviews it's Woody Allen who's hit or miss. Did you see the Woody Allen documentary? I just got it for Chris. I wish I had a fucking snorebub. Alright. That's my butt. What's that about doing stuff yourself? These are my buttons I use. Good point. Alright listen man. What would your favorite Woody Allen film real fast? Go now. Hannah and her sisters is not only my favorite Woody Allen film, it's my favorite movie of all time. Ever. Even over true romance.

Oh come on. The crow. The crow. You know I'm getting it right. Oh, that's great. Yeah, it's my favorite movie of all time. Hey! Oh!

Here's why. Oh, geez. Oh, my. Say it really quick I'm not gonna do my sound effect button Good gay It's it's the look I love true, man. I love good fellows love stuff like that

But it's I can relate to hand in her sisters. I watch it. I'm like I that's the way I feel out of the time I think I've thought that you said this about Sex in the City. Yeah, I gotta go. All right, got the whole box set for Christmas fans. Huh, why are we going? It's a wrap, it's fucking about how we did it. I want a half, we do it I want. It's not bad. No, it's great.

It's a bad. It's a bad. You like Sex in the City, Joe. Got the complete series for Christmas for my mom. Why do you like Sex in the City? Love it, love the show. That's why. I think it's well written.

Oh God. And I just relate to it when they talk about dating. I'm like, yeah, I've been there. I know what that's all about. I liked it just because I'm like, oh, I've been to that place. What a part of it too. Seriously, that's the reason I like it.

I'm like, oh, I've been there. There's a show a lot of new places. If there was a guy version of it, I'd be into the guy version of it. There's not. And don't say on to Raj, because on toourage is a fucking Travis. None of those broads are believable. Yeah, they're just

a parker never got fucking naked in the show. And the apartments they have are fucking. Oh my god. $5.00. Fuck you. They don't have multi-million. They don't own them. They rent them. The one chick, the one chick is a major publicist so she lives kind of long. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Harry's a writer and lives in a one bedroom, like my one bedroom. Yeah, but her shoes are fucking worth a million dollars a pair. And she talks about if she maxes out her credit cards and buys it, she shouldn't buy. It's all justified.

You're defending sex in the city. You should be shocked. I make judgment after I have knowledge of what. You slipped in the fucking tub. God did that. God did that. There is no God. God. I'm very Christmas. Very Christmas. And you shouldn't get present. in the fucking tub, God did that, God did that. There is no God. God's gonna have to have God.

Very Christmas. Very Christmas. And you shouldn't get presents. You shouldn't get presents on Jesus' birthday. I got great presents. You shouldn't. You know, there's no Santa Claus. There's no Santa Claus.

It's Jesus' birthday. Santa Claus is better. It's Jesus' birthday, Joe. And I mean, if you want me to not partake in a capitalist tradition. We need to, you know what and I mean, you know, if you want me to not partake in a capitalist tradition, We need to you know what Joe you need your own podcasts. You really do. Yeah, you do. I have an idea for one You should have your own, but it's just gonna be just me. You should actually you think I'm gonna be on it You're out of your mind. I'll do it. It should be just you. Thanks. Hope it should I like to work with Joe

Hey, Bobby can I just say this as the fire alarms going off? That was right. It's my brand new coffee maker that says hey, I'm gonna shut off because you haven't used me in a lot of hours. I had a good time. I did. That's it. That's good. No It was a lot of time. So great fucking podcast. If you have me absolutely Ope monster voice Joey. Thank you. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. The next time we do this podcast it will be 2012 and the world's going to end. You're not a niol. Now the end of the year though, we don't have to worry about that. It's not happened at the beginning.

December 21st. December 21st. Oh good, we got the year. Summer's the winter's the oldest. Yeah, the shortest day of the year in 2012. And that's when it's over. Yes, and don't worry about Christmas next year. Awesome.

I'm good. Don't send out those Christmas cards. I'd be stupid. All right. I'm going to go to a rubah though. We should go to a rubah. Let's go to a rubah next year You want to go Joe? Joe you want to go? I probably can't afford it, but I'll try. Do you need to hire the restaurant? Can you can you lend him money?

Good show I'd love it if he pulls a Kevin hard on both of us. I Like a rubah. You don't like anything. No, no, I like watching I imagine Joe being a swimsuit like in the 20s where it's a full-body like It likes fucking a wrestling movie We're in the cold witty movies It be here's the thing's gonna wipe drinks He doesn't like anything

Here's the thing with Aruba, you guys go as couples It's a very couples kind of trip I don't think it's a good singles trip Why don't you get a girl? I don't know, I just don't have one right now Boom! I fuck you, fucking lonely, broken rib douche. Fuck you, you fucking cheap cocksucker

that's gonna fail in six months. And OP, I love that OP looked up at that. Jesus. Oh, I'm actually okay. Hey, look at me, I've been chill the whole time. He's fine, he's got his fucking Robin Hood hat on right now. Fuck you, fucking archer. We're gonna reach your grandstead beard. Oh, I got you. He's got his fucking Robin Hood hat on right now I fucking art to get rich or grandstein beard

We're out here. We'll see you later. Take care. Make sure you go to Joe DeRosa at Joe DeRosa comedy on Twitter and so do what you're that dance odor and then you got opi Radio at Ren nobody needs everybody who listens to this knows you but at rope opi radio and what's your what's your YouTube page? Opi radio a lot of great videos with Bob Kelly and Joe Derosa to my favorite people to do videos with by the way How many people do you have go to that by the way real my channel and and most of my videos aren't Filmed in the in the studio. That's what's amazing about this 25 million views 25 million total. Yeah.

Wow. 25 million views. That's fucking TV. And probably a third of them are based on, like, the show. Just let you guys know, 25,000 downloads. What? People are actually going to hear this on this show. Nice.

That's nice. 20 to 25,000 downloads. One, two, three. Is it helping your numbers out there when you- You know what fucking helped? on this show. Nice. That's nice. 20 to 25,000 downloads. Is it helping your numbers out there when you're... You know what fucking helped? It's fucking when you had Joey on and talked about the show. Helped a lot. I mean, you finally used your power for good.

I helped Risen and Bonnie too. I know, that really bugged me. Because they helped him get... He put him in the top five. I know. Maybe I have heat still.. That was the fun thing. Maybe I have heat still. Well, this is the thing.

They got a little heat. Well, we can find out. Maybe I got a little heat. Here's the thing is, if you, now you're on the show, we can find out what your heat is. Because if you get our show on the top five, that's heat. How about this?

If I get you in the top five, I get to come back. Absolutely. Come back, you understand. When was the show air? No, we can't, dude, shut up. The gochis. I know you're right. He's got to get us in the top five. How about this? When is the show airing, even though the people are hearing. Come back. When was the show air? No, he can't, dude. Shut up. The ghost. Right. He's got to get us to the top five. How about this? When is the show airing, even though the people are hearing Monday morning?

What Monday? This Monday coming up. The second? Yeah, Monday morning. Yeah, Monday morning. You can't be the worst slot ever. That's how it hang over day. It always, no, Sundays hang over day.

Sundays hang over day, Monday. Okay, Monday's good. Monday's everybody's back to work. And let's go to the end of the year. It's 2012. What. What do we got new day new year? I'm ready to fucking go I'm downloading that you know what did podcasts and I'm gonna fucking stop my life over right now Oh shit opus on fuck soda's back monster voice Fuck Joe de Roses Joey no show this these on the show. It's the fucking original fucking cast and we got OP fucking 2012

For old acquaintance be forgot Wait fuck hold on me Wait, fuck hold on, we do it again. We do it again. Just do a fucking problem. We do it. Come. For old acquaintance, be forgot. Yeah.

This is the, you know what, dude podcast wishing you a happy and healthy new year. My name's Joe DeRosa speaking on behalf of Robert Kelly. Why are you speaking on behalf of me? I don't know. I'm just trying to make it sound like a holiday thing. I'll do another one. Go ahead. Do an Arab one.

No. Get fucking jukeboxes to do the voices. Oh! Let him in. Go ahead. Say something, Dan. Good. Go ahead.

Hey folks! Happy New Year! Alright, sorry, good. Hey folks. Oh, God. Happy new year. This is you know what, dude podcast with your host, Robert Kelly. My name is Joe DeRosa and I wish you all well in 2012. Alright, Dan. Right now. Go ahead.

Go. Hello, this is Monster Voice, also known as Dan Soder, wishing you a happy New Year's from the you know what dude Podcasts look like a real ugly European chick How sick is everybody getting of his one voice? I'm not Do do macho man Randy Savage Yeah Randy Savage. Yeah, 2012 World's about to end. Dig it. Yeah, happy new year. Oh, yeah. Look at the glee on the face. I love it. Do the other voice. That's it. Yeah, he really has to. I know. He's got other voices and they're great voices. Watch this. God damn. Do

anything. Do an Arab. I want your daughter. She had a married new year and happy that's Indian that's Indian. Sorry. I Do a black guy. Yeah, so you listen and you know what do podcasts may happen to you. I do a white guy This is I hope you have a very good happy new year. Well, you know what did podcast do a white chick I'm not packing with you a happy new year from the you know what dude podcast. That's just like a gay dude. Just shut up and do it. Okay. Do a gay guy. Nobody wants your thoughts.

Mimic. Just doing straight dance out of go. This is dance out of you know what dude podcast also known as monster voice happy new year. That's it. Wow you fucking stink that's it. Hey is dance out of also known as Monster Boys. I feel like a fucking seal right now. Yeah, remember when he said he was jealous of OP

because he had gophers? What do you think he's fucking turned into you at, dude, Soder? You don't do anything you show up and you be funny. That's all you do. Can you run back to my apartment? I forgot that key. You know what, dude? That you're fucking ass, all right?

That's true, bitch. Yeah, he did. He just really nailed me to the wall. You know what dude? That's all. That's true bitch. Yeah, he did. He just really nailed me to the wall. You know what dude?

That's all. That's all. That's true bitch. That's all. That's all. That's true bitch. That's all. That's all. That's all.

That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all. I'm stuck in the water, I'm gone You know what I did? But it's outside, outside You know what I did?

Really did, really, really, really You know what I did? Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,