Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Legends of Just for Laughs

Episode Date: August 4, 2014

A special YKWD with the legends of the Just for Laughs festival. RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Activa es lúnico. Porque a diferencia de otros, Activa ha demostrado que sus millones de probióticos naturales llegan vivos a la microviota. ¡WOW! Y además ayuda a tu salud digestiva. Activa. 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno,

3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno. Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovechar tu del 3 por uno en medianas a domicilio solo pidiendo el line. ¿Saparao? tres por uno, tres por uno, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, de siempre. Comprogramas especializados. Otro paso, cuida tu mente. Y otro, ficio digital.

Cada año queremos que disfrutes de la asistencia médica presencial y digital que mereces. Dal paso a sanitas y disfruta ahora de bluayud durante un año gratis. Pulsan el banner para saber más. fan of my comedy and you're a fan of this podcast and you live on Rhode Island Massachusetts Connecticut and Hampshire in New York. I'm telling you right now I have a special event for you Friday August 8th my Robert Kelly live from the Village Underground one hour special that we just shot in New York is in the Rhode Island International Film Festival. It's unbelievable they're going to be premiering it at the Providence Performing Arts Center. That's an 1800 C amazing beautiful theater. So if you want to go with me, go right now to www.film-festival.org and get your tickets. Okay, it's August 8th, Providence Performing Arts Center, 7pm.

It's a Friday night, this show and my special in the theater. It's going to be awesome. I'm going to be there. And check this, the night before, I'm going to be at the comedy connection. Me and a bunch of comics, we're at Allen Guys. We're going to do an improv to show one show only on the on August 7th that's the Thursday night so come down Thursday to the connection hang out we'll fucking have some laughs and then let's go Friday and we'll see my special in a theater I'm very excited about it so tell your friends get your girlfriends get everybody fucking

Let's go watch a fucking um, watch a movie, a fucking movie, how great is that? Um, so again, that thing that you have to, the website you have to go to is www, you can tell I trail out, I'm always good at these at the beginning and then I just trail out because I'm too wordy and I just yammer and fucking mule and quim I am. Purchase tickets at www.film.dashfestival.org okay that's for the film festival comedy connection just go to comedy connection around dot com whatever the fucking website is or go to my website

it's gonna be a great night I'm gonna be there I hope you guys are there too thanks for supporting me through this thanks for fucking showing up every time I'm in Rhode Island It's gonna be a great night and I hope you can share with me, all right take care Now it's trying to keep it like a comic head I have a bunch of guys on it's just us sitting down And sometimes it's hilarious sometimes it's intense no topics direction. I love doing this. This podcast has no rules. Can I get a microphone? I'm sure I've already said should I regret it?

Rubber Kelly. You know what dude? You know what dude? I know what I'm dead. I guess. I'm bloody casted out to the highest Dark Side From Bride It I'm gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one who's gonna be the one All right, what's up? This is Robert Kelly, and I'm doing another special JFL edition of You Know What Dead for the Riot Cast Network. And I'm here with, I would call this

a legends of comedy. Actually, yeah, you're right, I'm fucking, I won't. I wouldn't call that, but listen, no, I was. I have with me two of my favorite people in the business, not the funniest people I think, but the favorite like people I like in that world. Yeah, right. Because you're up against the standard you used to.

From the comedy, the comedy seller, which has the greatest acts in the world. Yeah, I'm writing a new bit about farting tonight. Really? So I can compete with yours. Fucking hopefully. Yeah. You can have mine just take mine, please I know

Nobody could think it's anything you have to go to a third grade the fun to like that I listen these fucking cock suckers. This I actually don't suck cock. Yes, Judy Gold's one of my favorite comics I love the people on the planet and Dom Iraera one of my favorite comics and people on the planet and Dom Iraera, one of my favorite comics and people on the planet. Two of the funniest people walking the earth for as long as I've been doing this and they're still fucking the funniest people around. I love you guys. Also, one of my favorite people. I love seeing you guys are awesome. Thank you. You're doing my show. Oh my God. That's a big boy. Come on. That's the nicest. I mean, that went on for like a minute. It's true, I'm not a big industry guy.

I don't fucking go around and love everybody. But there's certain people that I really, really like. And you two are happy. Why didn't you come to eat with us last night? Here's the fucking thing with that. And I talk, I didn't was invited. You're invited. It's a fucking, it's a fucking.

You understand when I am the captain of the ship Everybody is a first mate. Yes. Here's the thing. I didn't know that cap and second of all I First of all had a show first of all second of all all right Well, I did I know and said not one person goes hey come with us I didn't even know you weren't coming here's what happened Adam Hills and I were gonna have dinner then it's just Bruce yeah idiot who it's not Adam Hills it's Bruce Hills no Adam Hills you fucking

more on you it's it's Bruce Hills Adam Hills the guy on our show dick weed oh Andrew you fucking Adam Adam it is stop all right shut the fuck up Are really I thought his name was a Bruce Hills is the guy who one of the guys who runs the fast So I know my friend we're gonna have dinner. Yeah, doesn't invite me doesn't invite me like you didn't invite me Until Bruce Hills I'll go I went up to you I said Dom you want to get something Oh, no, no you already ate your cunt. I Doesn't mean I can I'm six three. I can't do it by the way. Hey listen

She's right now. No, she's not I felt I didn't feel shut out I'm gonna have the invitations How about this how about this you walk over and go hey? Can't you want to come or I'm gonna get some food. And I say yes or no. All right, you don't just walk. Here's you don't usually do. You stood over in the corner.

Right. And I said, dumb. Yep. You want to get something in? I think I want to be lit. You said I made dinner plans. That's exactly what you said. Let me tell you something.

First of all, you ate. I said, you still want to come. I even know you didn't eat. That's what I said. Even though I ate. Even, you ate. I said, you still want to come even though you didn't eat. That's what I said Even though I ate even though you ate. I'm not gonna eat But you end up eating anyway And you certainly it more than your portion. This is what you did not miss But here's the thing though, Dom. Nobody nobody said especially you who I you know, I mean look

Look, can I say if we're gonna go out you're invited right now Okay, I just want to, I mean, can I say if we're gonna go out, you're invited right now. Okay, I just wanna say, let's go into somebody else. This is what you missed. This is what you missed. Yes. We heard about Alonzo being a crack addict. Yeah, yeah.

Fascinating. And that's what you wanna talk about at the end of the night. It makes you, maybe. I talked about a zalco holism that made me wanna get a drink. I sort of got, I wasn't even drinking night. It makes you, and maybe, I talked about his alcoholism and it made me want to get a drink. I sort of got, I wasn't even drinking anymore and I got to get a fucking drink,

making me nervous. I wish he was actually still a crack addict, he'd be more, I'm just, imagine how funny he'd be. I know. Imagine him a little energy. Yeah. How was the dinner, by the way?

I had, I don't know. You had the octopus? I had the octopus and the duck, because I'm in Montreal. You know what I had? What? Duck Fwa Grah. Oh, that's not. I love that.

I know it was really good. It's all protein. You would love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I didn't go. Who picked up the check?

Bruce. Wow. That's nice. You didn't have to pay. I was expecting to pay. I didn't know I carry you the night before you I know he's been paying for everything, but I've been blowing him he doesn't come though He doesn't he goes he doesn't the worst blowjob ever. I'm a let me come you'd have a heart attack Yeah, you know, you're not supposed to suck my tink

My it's my dick Sorry, my being rude on your part. I just I'm visually rising your taint I'm sorry, I might be in rude on your part. I just I'm visually rising your taint. You know, you'd be surprised. I try. It's more taught than you would think. It's taught. It's taught.

Torque than you taint. Listen, here's a thing. You're out of line. You should invite it us individually. It's not like we're your middlers, we're your equals, and you're your friend. We're not his equal. Yeah, and you go like, we're not his equal. No, we're not.

Listen, here's a thing. We are as equal when we're here. Okay, we're all the same. No, and you go like, we're not his equal. No, listen, here's it then. We are as equal when we're here. Okay, we're all the same. No, especially not here, you know, make. Well, is now. He's remember him when I first started in the 60s. Shut your fuck. When did you start? I don't know when you started.

I started in. Judy, don't be rude, please. Mid 80s. Like about, yeah, first time time I just stand up was like 82 83 Wow, and then I graduated college into but you were the first place you did stand up in my dormant Rutgers really yes and then I Did a show at Rutgers and Adrian told spill shift and Larry Amor was around the show and Adrian's like

Come to catch, because she did the Monday night. She's very generous like that, Adrian. She's great. And I would go to catch on Monday nights. Adrian Tulsch said the most incredible thing to me that I've never forgotten. You look good in that color.

You're pussy. You're pussy tastes like corn. She said shave your pussy before you go on stage. No, she said to me. Are you a leather person is fuck yeah? Oh, you don't want to hear what Adrian said. No, but it really was I think about this all the time and I love her for this She said to me Don't ever let anyone tell you what to do on stage

You've earned the right to be there and it's your time right and I've had all you know You have really fucking managers. Oh you're too Jewish. You don't talk about shut the fuck up You've never been on fucking stage and don't tell louder and don't tell me what the fuck to talk about Okay, that was that that was my anger moment. Where was the first time you're on stage though? Philly geez. No, not Philly really. Let's have his I did a lot of plays first I did a lot of plays really and college. I? I did a lot of plays first. I did a lot of plays. Really?

I did a major in theater, not because of my love for theater, because they didn't have term papers. Well, the head was over here. Yeah, but theater's hard. It wasn't hard for me. Where'd you go? I just dodged things. I went to Biscayne and Barry Colleges in Miami.

Wow. Exactly, so that's why it was a problem. I think any major is what that. Rad the rabbi and filler on the roof. Really? I made famous. Really? May God bless and keep us on.

Far away from us. Godfrey, forget about it. Godfrey, thank you. Godfrey's running stuff here. That body is fucking awesome. Godfrey's body. Godfrey, how was I in the gym yesterday? You were working it out.

Yeah, that mic's hot. That mic's hot. That mic's hot. You's hot that Mike's hot Juni was working through her pain Yes today I'm at the gyms you kept saying she's old and old but then she go 52 damn it. I'm not really 52 yet. 51. I do every day. Yeah, you did the cardio You did your weights. Yeah, and I'll do that again today I even but she even bump she's like yo you using that bench You receive I know he fucking hogs the bench and then he sits on it really yeah, he sits on the fucking bench

I'm like I have shit to do on the bench. I want to do kick crunches. He's like sitting there No, I read no I was doing concentration cross. I like those I do those too You know when you hold your elbow against your knee right they're great. Yes The podcast not a conversation of you two driving somewhere He brought food from home some paleo food he brought food from fucking Holy shit The caveman tia They haven't been there. It's paleo cuisine.com. They said All that stuff. What is it? Do you shit a lot?

I mean I'm a regular I do a two three a day. What I do one huge. Let me tell you something about my shit. So I'm not kidding I I'm here now I was just going to find the backstory of Dom Myrera a legend in a vision that we're on fucking. What are you shitting? I'm just letting you know I clog clog every... Shut the fuck up! I clog every toil. I have the huge, I mean... It comes out the water? It's... every time.

I clog. Alright, sorry. You're the one that's eating. So dumb. Why can't... can we do the podcast like... Right in the kitchen? No, I like this ambiance. It's like, you know, the

things going on here where it's live. We're not in a studio. We're live at the NFL live right now. We're live among the streaming right now. This is a streaming device at Judy Gold at J.E.W.D.Y. G.O.L.D. Listen, fuck you. I broke down today. That was good. That was fun. You did? Where do we breakfast? I called you you didn't call me I can't get up at 11 30. I got I don't know what time we get up. I can't wait for dim sum without me I told you I want God. We got a rock and ship here. We gotta have a meeting. I know I know we're gonna dim some Saturday Today was a test. No, I have to do reddit on Saturday at 12. We have to go at 10 30 on Saturday

10 30 in the morning in the morning. Yeah, dim have to do Reddit on Saturday at 12.30. No, we have to go at 10.30 on Saturday. 10.30 in the morning. In the morning. Yeah, dimptons at 3.30. I got it. What's that? I didn't make it last year. Yeah, you were supposed to be there. We left. It was great.

Listen, that swarm of sand which last night. Fucking a... I hang the fuck on, gold. Sorry. The fact that he didn't call me for breakfast. He did that to me. I told you, when you came in. Yeah. me for breakfast. He did that to me. Oh, yeah, when you came in. Yeah No, no, he did that to me. He's like I'm gonna call you tomorrow. I did for you. No the day before

He doesn't call me, right? This is the guilt train. You're not a good guest. Then he tells me then I finally talk to him. You're not a loving captain I love it a bit but miss something somewhat forgetful. You're not a loving captain. I am a loving bit, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, And I said I said Sorry about my wife. She's got something wrong with her cunt What's so funny Yeah, yeah, go eat your paleo shit put it right in the foam right there eat your paleo Yeah, that's great Look at his fucking alarms. Yeah, he is a beautiful young man. He's a buck.

Yeah, you're a good looking guy. You are. You are too. You know that, right? You still look good looking. Oh, shut up. Bye. I mean, yeah.

Smoothie looks. You look so smooth. That's different. Take it easy, man. You're not too dumb. Come on. I'm the man. Don't, you're making me blush.

You're doing a tall, beautiful. Don't. Thank you. How long have you been coming here? It's a just for last. Yeah, I think I Think 88 you were it. I said I'm gonna say now you're doing a side conversation you cock sucka either you're on the mic You're not Hello Okay, what he did yeah, you surfs everything. What is it you serve takes over yeah Not even really Italian, you service everything. What is it you serve takes over yeah It's not even really a time, you know

Yes, it got me how long you been coming here Tom 88 88 fucking eight Holy shit There was not even it was a settlement wasn't even a city yet. I do stand up for the Indians Come on Native Canadians Native Canadian Americans. How long have you been coming at you? 94 Yeah 94, 94. So you guys were up here when it was you were getting there with throwing our deals and industry and yeah

Let me tell you what I got out of here. I got a football show in Comedy Central. I got a showtime special, a showtime series, and two HBO specials. That's crazy. And a series on Fox with Damon Wains. The guy said to me, he was a really good guy, gay guy blonde here, forget his name.

So I'm going to get you something this year. I said, I told you last year, I didn't get anything, and he got me daiming the show because I told you I'd get you something. Is that your agent? No, he was a casting, it was an executive for Fox. Really? Yeah, it was unbelievable. I mean, I hate to say that because it's like the comedy story, you know, the comedy story and I don't want to tell the waiters how busy it was at one time

Because he makes them feel like losers. How much fun do we have there? We still have three full shows on a Saturday night main room, you know the the original room was constantly moving the belly room I had a show that's what this place was like, you know I mean you can't maintain something like that forever, things change. Because of the internet, now people can watch your act over the internet in a minute, instead of flying a Montreal. When I worked at Catch, when I was the first club I passed out, I was the backup, because we didn't have cell phones, and people would know, you do seven spots on a Saturday.

And you get stuck in a cab, you had no way to call the club. So you could be there. I got paid to sit at the bar. There were two backups, me and Chris Rock. Chris Rock was a backup. And he got on and that was the end. Chris Rock, right? No.

Chris Rock, steam. But it was amazing, because you had to sort of coordinate all your spots, so you had enough time, but you never knew what the hell was going to. It's funny now that we used to do that in Boston when I started with. And who'd you start with? Patrice, Burr, Dane, Bob Marley. That was my crew. Oh, I'm not, I'm just putting my leg.

She, because I have knee replacement. Oh, she just got that. She's just fucking washed your table, you fucking asshole. I think this fucking fucks you. Julie, Julie just got fucking scolded. She had her feet up on the table. I didn't have my foot.

I only had my knee. Foot was up. She had her foot leg up on the table, and a guy came over and just fucking told her. Can you please take a full doll to table? He didn't. Told her to beat it. Yes he did.

Told her to beat it. Get your foot off the table in the most passive aggressive, country way he could do it. Yeah. Like, you're a piece of shit, and she had to take her foot off the table because the most passive-aggressive, country way he could do it. Yeah. Like, you're a piece of shit, and she had to take her foot off the table, because it wasn't worth it.

Now he's still, now he's talking over there. Yeah, now they're having a whole fucking debate about it, and he was like, I just told her in some, in French, so we can't really understand that. Oh, no. I love, you know, I've noticed, like, we went out with Sophie and, and Celine the other night, Dom and I. So we did? Yep.

And we were talking, and we're having a whole conversation, and then they go off on a side, We went out with Sophie and Celine the other night, Dominic. So we did? Yep. And we were talking and we're having a whole conversation. And then they'd go off on a side like, jewellery, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, what the fuck are you? We're in a fucking conversation. Right. And then they'd go French it out.

Back to the festival. I came here and I, I don't want to. No, I do want to go to that. I really want to know about it. Here's the deal. We used to do that in Boston. We do want it, want it the Dix. Then really want to know about here's a deal. I we used to do that in Boston. We do want it. Yes. Want it. The Dicks. Then we go over to Nick's comedy stop to one upstairs run downstairs. Yeah, go to the comedy connection on the corner. So in a one block radius. Oh, I remember five or six seven.

The comic strip and the place called duck soup or something. Yes. Yes. Soap to you. And then that turned into an improv. Wait, what about the one at the Chinese restaurant? Which is now the Wilbur Theater that we all go to. It is? Yeah. Down the basement was duck soup. Oh, and upstairs. Oh, I want to do the Wilbur. You think I do well there? I think you do good. Yeah. Alright, listen. I hate the Wilbur. Oh, you do? Why? Why? It's too big for me. I can't fill it in Boston. I can do the comedy clubs. I love it. There's a brand new club in Boston. What? I worked it at the Weston Out on the shore. I did that one for the women in comedy festival. It was packed. It was fucking great out on the

Yeah, at the Weston is it out of what's it called? Yeah, it's called the I don't know Something listen. I should know. I think I'm working it again, but it's it's it's damn kind of yeah Where you go towards the air where you go? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah on the pier.'s, it's them kind of where you go to the air, where you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right on the pier. Yep, that's it guys. Yep. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. The other thing was at the store when I moved to L.A. because I was on a sitcom. So I moved in. What sitcom? All American Girl with Margaret Cho. Really? Yes. And I, and I did an H.

Did you play her mother? Her grandmother? Her sister-in-law close sex slave Close her lover get you get your hand on table. Oh, I touched the table. I'm excuse me. So I am my elbows are on the table. Is that okay? Come on. Yeah, you that okay? Come on, here you go. Mojua. So, Mitzi was so good to me. And every Friday night, she gave me a show in the belly room for like an hour and a half.

Wow. And it was my own show. I developed so much material. I did an HBO special the next year and it was,, I mean she was amazing to me and you go from now It's a fucking weird club. I mean I mean I'm coming back. It's coming back I went here's a thing though. I went there Maz Gibrani brought me in on his cloud card when I was there for three months a Few years ago a couple years ago his club card on his cloud card. You know like you know, oh this cloud. Yeah, yeah So I went I went over there and I went up. I killed and the guy after the show gave me some weird speech. Hope Tommy yeah thanks for the being on

the journey man you know I don't know if we can you know what's gonna happen but basically you know I'm not using you but it's like look dude say you like me or you don't don't fucking give me some weird fucking I don't maybe and you know what's amazing 20 right in the minute you get on a show. You're funny, you know like that's what's fucked up about this business Like these people that's what it is just that Only that but I do remember and then All right, I think Dom and I remember when comics yeah did stand up because

they had to like it was in their blood they you need right all day it was your whole and then it got to the point in the late 80s and early 90s there were these comics that would just create like an eight-minute set that was like there were these comics that would just create like an eight-minute set that was like, you know, their sitcom. You know, they would have eight minutes just pitching themselves for a sitcom. It was like, there's anything wrong with that. Everybody was in built for stand-up and if you had a vehicle to get something else, so what? Shut up. Did you feel that way now that you're broken, or did you feel that way back then? I didn't know enough back then. I mean, I know that it comes in waves. One thing about comedy, your group was a particularly good group, not to stroke you, but there was a time that there was really a dearth of talent at the comedy store.

And you know, like, you know, I, because I said a sentence, I never thought I'd say, Paulie and I, the only, I just wanted toian I, I just vomited. Where the only ones that were doing TV at one point. Right. But now it's back. It's, because when I first went there, holy shit, it was all these guys, Belzer and Arsenio and Louis Anderson,

they were all on television, you know. I catch, Belzer was always the MC for a while. That was before my time. And because that was in the late 70s, right? Right. And but it was, it was his show. Like, it was like, you wanted to be an MC. Oh, yeah.

He was great. Like, you know how they always treat the MC like shit. Yeah. Like, first of all, he's too lazy to write material. Right. And he was very funny. So perfect thing. But I started when I started a comedy you grand, do you remember that?

And Soho? No. Oh, that's where Ray star, I'm in the Ray Romano. I'm a man. John Stuart Group. And that place was fucking awesome. Comedy you grand, 55 grand street and Soho. No.

I remember the green something. The green street, green street with street with Leah something. That's a different one, right? Yeah, I was around the corner. You could do spots downtown there, but It was just got like five bucks. You know who the bartender was there at Comedy U Grand Michael Chick-lis. No shit. He was the bartender. Who's that? No shit. He was the bartender. Who's that? He was that? Michael Chickles. You don't know my chief. Michael Chickles. I don't. If I did, I wouldn't ask. Let me tell you the story about Michael Chickles. He was the bartender. Can you tell me? He's a major actor. He was in the shield. He played, he was in that show that was on last year.

So he's an actor I would know for sure. Yeah, he's an Emmy award-winning actor. He's a great guy. So I believe he won an Emmy. He was the bartender and he had this girlfriend. He was in love with her. And he was an actor. And she broke up with him because her parents were like, he's never going to be anything. And he was like brokenhearted. And then he got the movie to play John Belushi.

Yep. Oh, wired. Yeah, and that was it. And he's the nicest. That was supposed to be a career killer too. Yeah, they're, remember when he said, yeah, they said he's gonna. And it was it, he got a show out of it too.

He was a boss at the time. Great guy. All the commission. Remember the commission. That was great guy. I love that guy. Yeah, but here's the thing though, when you came, what did did you what did you get out of Montreal back when you did the festival? Do you get discovered? Did you get a deal? I never got a deal ever ever ever? I've never gotten a deal

I've never got a deal, but I got shows Do you ever got a show out of it which was better than getting a deal right? I would get You know what I did I did I got a lot of work, you know, I won the cable ace from my HBO special. I did. Yeah. Wow. And then I did too. You did? Mm-hmm. Wasn't that fun? Yeah. Those cable ace awards. Yeah. They gone. It was like winning the Emmy. Yeah, it was, it was, it was, it would have been an Emmy today the same the same thing wow but Yeah, I did that but I

I then Started I you know then I produce Rosie you produce the show Rosie Just for the first two seasons no shit. I was the human interest producer. I didn't know that and I wrote to you know Joe Yaneti then yeah, yeah, he was right around the show. And so he had throw can't I heard how's he doing? Well, I heard he went through all the chemo and stuff, and I was calling him every day, but he couldn't talk. But then I called him a couple times, and he hasn't returned my call. I believe he's okay. Hopes okay,

telling me. I will call him again. He's one of the I love this is the conversation when you, after you have 40, you know, he has this. You know, that one had that removed. Anyway, so I did, I wrote a one person show with my friend who's a playwright. We interviewed Jewish mothers all over the country. And then we wrote this show, 25 questions

with Jewish mother. And Jody Lieberman. Love Jodie. Brought it here. And I did it at the center, and it got great reviews, and then it went off-roadway for a year and a half. And then it toured. So that was like that I got, and then I brought

my next one person show here several years later. It also went. It seems like now though that there's less of the, you're not going to come up here and get anything from it. But the industry and the talent, the comedians, have somehow found a place to socialize and be friends and kind of work together. You know what I mean? socialize and be friends and kind of work and work together. You know what I mean?

But we also have a fun time. There's not the pressure of getting something anymore. I hate it. Oh, you know, the first time I was here, my ex Sharon took her, her pass, right? And underneath, she wrote, you know, it would be their job, it would be like, William Morris, you know, they'd have your name and then your job. And she just, she wrote underneath,

Seinfeld, that was it. Right? Because no one had talked to her for like days, and then she just wrote Seinfeld on the bottom. Yeah. Everyone was like, how are you? It was the funniest fucking thing you've ever I think those days are gone though Or maybe because I don't care anymore and I've become you know evolved in my career No, it's not like that the business changes. Yeah, because it's not it's not it this place doesn't intimidate me at all

I look forward to coming here Yeah, and I love you know seeing the people at the moment, you know, like Bruce and his wife and Suzanne and Zoe and Robbie and his wife. I miss these people. But I feel like it used to be like, you had to fucking kill or you were a loser at this, you know, and that there were networks,

there were only a few networks and that was it. And now, I don't, yeah, I don't, you get to a point where you just don't give a shit anymore. This is what you do. Well, I told you a change. I think what I said before, I'm not to quote myself, but, but, you know, the internet, and everybody in Skype and everything else, there's no need to travel here anymore. Skype?

Well, anything. Skype is just talking to another person on that. But you can audition somebody on Skype. Yes, that's true. I just didn't audition yesterday in my... That was a good recovery. No, that was a truth. She was the one that was kind of sending.

I did an audition in my room last night. You did? For a Broadway show. They sent me the Accompanyant. I hope you get it today. I hope I fucking get it You know what had now your host in this show with all of us on it. Yeah, do you like hosting? I do you do Yeah, it's fun. You're a fucking great host You say the meanest shit

Only to people I like okay good if I was somebody I didn't like I give them the nicest I know I'm the same way But somebody I didn't like I give them the nicest I know I'm the same way I know Did you did you ever MC Robert? Yeah, I used to MC at the seller all the time Yeah, I know many people you have to beat out to be on the show. What am I gonna say guys funny? Right, you know, you know, you know, you how many fucking comedians you beat out? You don't even realize it right? I said this this actual this actual All-star show is one of the best. Yeah, I'm the tightest so you know, you know what else is tight? You have a giant. I'm not

Not in every spot It is because I don't really have anything in there, you know like I'm a lesbian. I don't put anything maybe this fistal No, I'm not I'm not a hello to you. I used to emcee like it I'm sorry wait tell Don what oh god, mom tell dumb what we were doing on the plane I mean my phone give me my phone So we're on the plane we started she texted me to take a photos of everybody walking on the plane and captioning the photos On the fucking plane

Oh, you would tell him yeah, I would just I was in the third row who's in the first it was a linkoplet It was like is it a first class? Yeah, yeah, yeah, were you in first right? But I was I didn't come no, you know what I I flew from L.A. to Washington first class Then I had to fly out of fucking cargo plane. Yeah She's a male aint of Washington first class, then had to fly in a fucking cargo plane. Yeah. But we, Lynn Coppets was so pissed because we were just fucking cracking up

and she's like, what do you guys do? Like a fucking 12 year old. Oh, she. Who is she? She is a comic. She has a lot of dress. Yeah. You don't know Lynn Coppets.

I met her yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, she's on the front. She was so mad because me and her were giggling like school kids. Yeah. And we were like, you know, I, she met as your jealous. We were, because we were just fucking cracking each other up. Like I took, she took a picture of a guy and he, you know, he just get, what did you say?

I don't know. I took a picture of a guy with a Yamakar and I go, you know, underneath. And I wrote Mata and then, wait, where are they? They're so fucking funny. Did you see you taking the picture of them? No, we were just doing it. And then I did the tranny, remember? The tranny, and then I did the flight attendant,

and I was like, I sucked his dick. No, you wrote, I blew him and I gizzed on her belly. And then, then I took a picture of an Asian guy and I wrote small cock. And then, true though. It was true. Tasty though. Yeah, it was good. They are tasty.

These are funny. But this show, it's like, I love on up here now because I get to work with, dude, I never get to work with you. I never get to work with Judy anymore. She's not even come out to the left after anymore. I don't because there's no reason for me to come out there. And if I come out there, I can't just be out there to hang. You know what I mean?

It's just a fucking drag, man. I have a kid now, I have a wife, I like being home. I used to go out there and I went to another apartment for three months and hung out there. It was a fucking drag after a while. If you have nothing, you kind of out there, I feel like you know what I felt like, I was taking up space of somebody else.

You know what I mean? Because I'm not from here, I don't live here, I'm just hanging out here. So who's spotted my fucking taking? Being here, you know? But you're supposed to be, oh, because you came through the three weeks, yes. Yeah, so I, you know, I, and what is it? The improv, last time I was there, I got bumped by

fucking every, you know, everybody in a Judd Apatow movie and Adam Sandler. And then Dane fucking bumped me. You know what I mean? It's like, it's not like that. He wouldn't bump anybody. Nice talk of you. And I remember I got mad at him and Neil Brennan one night. I mean, I fucking, I almost de-friended him and left LA. I love how that's like unfriending is like, fuck you, I'm unfriending you. No, I mean, I almost start, like I don't mean, I'm like, fuck you, I'm done, I'm leaving LA. You know what he did to me one night?

What? It was interesting, a power thing. He said to me, uh, Dama, I'm gonna just go on and do 15 minutes before you, okay? I said, I said, sure, day, whatever you want. I said, I'll just cancel. I'll just, you know, he goes, what do you mean? I said, well, I can just, I'll just go on at the Commerce 30 and prop. Don't worry about it.

He said, why don't you cancel? I said, well, you know, I said, I don't feel like waiting. Yeah. And, uh, so then he, he just waited until I won't. And the thing about it is, if somebody said, well, I don't feel like waiting. Yeah. And so then he just waited until I went on. And the thing about it is, if somebody said to me, do me a favor, I gotta go, I gotta it's another spot. You know, Mars comes up to me or something, I go, of course, I don't give a fuck.

But don't tell me you're gonna bump me. And it's a nice way. My thing is, nobody can bump me. I walk out. I don't give a fuck who it is. Yeah, I agree with that. Like, I'm at the cellar now and it's so, there's so many famous people walking in there.

I had fucking, the other night it was Chris Rock came in, Judd Apatow, Amy Schumer, and who the fuck else? Aloe. And it was like, okay, I get it, I fucking get it, but I'm not fucking, I'm not hanging around, I'm not waiting. Yeah, right. And then I got bumped this Tuesday too.

I mean, I jut app it, Tao came in, I get it, but it's like, what the fuck, man? Does he have to go on stage? I look, I like that he goes on stage because you know what, I told you, I told you. Yeah, I like him. He's fucking, he's doing it the way you should. He's leaving a veil. Which he doesn't have. Oh, all right, I told you. Yeah. you I like he's fucking he's doing it the way you should he's leaving a

Vales which he doesn't know all right I thought yeah he bought me the other than he walked in he did it but whatever but he is strong no really strong but I love when he's going back to their roots of stand-up too he got funny he's been doing it for the last three months at the seller and his act evolved I like him I like to really funny he's got some funny. He's got some great stuff. Being as strong as you. No, but I, you know, of course, I'm doing it all the fun times what I do for a living. I don't make fucking million dollar movies for living. Sorry, your mic's off. Go ahead. Keep it up. Because I, that's why I kind of, I kind of took a break from the seller. We were getting just disrespected too much. Right. I'm good. What do you mean?'m good. I just felt, man, I just sat a little longer.

You know when I stopped working at the seller, I was pregnant. Yeah. It was about seven months pregnant. And they allowed smoking then. And this woman in the front row was smoking and I said, could you please, and it was a guy actually. And he took a hit from a cigarette and blew it in my face Oh, and that was it and no one did anything at the salon. I got so mad I got govery back. What's up? John Haffron just sat down. Yeah, good

Guess I was I think I was standing next to you, but I didn't know if it was you so I don't want to make it make state So you guys went to breakfast. All you guys went to breakfast. No, no I was walking I was walking by you. I saw you or knee and Joe Maderee's outside posing for For photos like a photo shoot Oh, no, what the fuck was what we wanted to Want to video and The already got a fucking lower the decibel level Fucking voice so god the duty goal says that you know he's left exactly

who took John heifer now for his birthday happy birthday bro yeah yeah what was your birthday today i took him out for fucking lunch yeah i'm gonna miss you so i'm gonna get actually i got a final place i'm gonna give you a zoom six my age for yeah I'm gonna go find one today. Yeah, I'm birthday. It's a big one. I'm gonna tell you how to like it. Yeah, right?

I'll show you I'll take you to where it is after this perfect. Yeah, take you to where it is It's right down the street. What is it? I sell these I'm gonna buy I'm gonna buy this for my new podcast that me and Judy Gold decided Yeah, we figured out don't tell anyone what it is Robert you gotta do my podcast if you come out. I'm gonna make a trip. I'm rare live from the lab factory. Of course you. I'm gonna come out.

He's hosting a show. I was just talking to him for a second. I'm gonna come out to the, hang on a second. I'm gonna come out there and do a few podcasts and when the show comes out, when the sex drugs and rock and roll come out. Mine's just cool, it's on camera and we do it right from the left factory.

Right. You'll like it. Never step foot in the, I've been on the left factory twice in my life. Aren't you from California? From Michigan. Where'd you live? I live in California. I never really lived there.

I ended up skipping all the, all the starting comedy with this group of people at this club. Like I didn't get any of that fun. So that's why I'm not in here. Crazy bad attitude, John. Yeah. I gotta tell you. I don't want to be part of a group. Well you're part of a group now. All you got to do is say it. John was talking about that. It's like the only way to make it is to have a crew and it's true. Yeah I know. I would never laugh at a guy. I love you. You know what? Get my PR people's number. You guys. I gotta say you guys guys in comedy even though I'm not one of those women comics who's like

You guys totally totally take care of each other I think guys in general Came up together there's a certain type of comic that I bond with you know, I mean there's a certain certain type of comic that I bond with. You know what I mean? There's a certain Fucking code that a guy has and if you have that I'll fucking bond with you all and I'll look out for you What about the the chicks? Chicks too. I love Schumer. I love Coplitz. I love Rachel Feinstein. Maria Franklin. Sarah. I don't know her as much but I love Sarah. And then what's that other fucker? What's that girl that you brought? Oh, she's a dite.

June. She's a Lesbo. Yeah, she's really hot. Yeah, she's around ear and foley. Aaron Foley is not Jewish. No, she's a John a blank. John a blank. And Judy Gold.

Ah. Ah. But that talk, well, I was just saying how I stay away from and Judy go. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. With that talk, well, I was just saying how I stay away from the seller for just a bit, because it was like getting ridiculous. It's like, but I got to tell you. I'm just, I got to tell you.

I got to tell you. I said the right thing though, you can take the power back anytime you want. Right. By going absolutely, I'll see you later. And then when you take yourself out of the mix, then they're going to go, what the fuck because that person's not gonna show up all the time right and then they're gonna go fuck now We got these people is he But I'm saying it can't let me be a lamb. It can't be a lamb to them right? That's right. Yeah, it's just I just don't feel like you

You should shit on the people that are either backbone of the club when just because someone comes Hey, and I understand when somebody of some status comes it's business yeah I get it but then you you're part in the waters for them and make it a celebration the whole thing is all aliases now every comic that has fame or whatever doesn't put their real name down for some fucking weird reason so it's like wait a minute that so ever ever this alias alias, Robert Kelly, alias alias Keith Robertson. I'm probably gonna say this one.

It's like, could you make me feel shitier? You have like, they didn't have fucking- I wanna see people- They probably wanna do new material and not have people know that they're going there. Yeah, I would like that fucking too. But I gotta go up as me and fucking bomb. You never bomb. We can go up as me and bomb. You never

can go up as John have for nobody's gonna know. Follow me at Thommerer. But still it's true. It's like there's a little slight that piss you off. You at least you're keeping it real. You just go really you have to do this. You got to do that. You got to do this. Yeah. It's kind of cooler. Do you still let it get to you? Yeah. You know what? Something about the juice of it, you know, the anger. I mean, you're, you're, you're, you're, you don't need this shit at your level.

Let's face it. What, what good is it going to, does it make a big difference if you're at the comic strip or the comedy seller? I don't know. It's a, it's a loyalty thing though. Yeah. It's, it's a family thing. Well, how loyal are they to you and they bump you? It's very loyal. They are, they're, they're, they're, the comedy a family thing. Well, how loyal are they to you and they bump you? Very loyal. They are. No, they've, the comedy sells loyal to us, motherfucker. Those people, they're the ones, the first ones to raise the money in New York. We get paid $85 a spot and 125 to host. Maybe pays 80 a spot. And they, Mitsu pays people a percentage of the door.

Mitsu always paid well. I. I factory dude. I love the last factor. So you know me. I'm always there. That's my spot. Laffat. I don't know how to give you $12 in cash. Yeah. That's bullshit. The thing, but I got checks from

Jamie for $7. No. For during the week, if you know, James, that doesn't make sense. Jamie is the best. Mitty gives your percentage of the door. Well, you guys, I don't exactly. I'm going to journey. I'm the percentage of the door. No, see.

I will you guys, I don't really. I don't really. I'm going to journey with them. I'm not getting paid. I can't do the room. But thanks for being on the journey. What the fuck is that? Haircare meets high fashion.

A Vedas holiday collaboration with Couture Fashion Designer Iris Von Herpen is now available para tú. Un colegio de colegio, inspirado por nuestro planeta. Cada colegio es una celebración de artística y naturaleza, construyendo más performantes, 100% vegan, her, body y self-care gift sets. ¡Discover gifts of luxury, atavada.com! suényas con un futuro más allá de los estudios de grado? Gracias a las becas de posgrado en el

extranjero de la Fundación Lacaixa, puedes estudiar en las mejores universidades y centros de investigación del mundo. Tu talento te mueve. Solicitate un beca en la caixa punto o everything? I would love to baseball bat his knee. Why is one of why? I don't know. Because Dom's here. Oh. Yeah. Nobody's more tying than God free when he sees me. And then when I did it, he'll go, yeah, man, what's happening? What's up with that? What's up with lamps?

What's up with that? What's up with anything? I love imitating that because I'm like, he's so funny. We love him. We love you, dude. So I like to imitate you as a, it's like a, remember when God free wasn't here We had a like great conversation. Yeah, it's a conversation. Yeah, remember that. Yeah, can you get me another Pepsi?

Remember when we actually got to speak that was so fun You would say something Yeah You would say something And then you oh it's called like a conversation. Yeah, who's the basic? This fucking broad right here. I don't know. She's cute though. Who is it? Oh, she's from Boston and Who the who the fuck are you? Yeah, come over here. Come over here. He looks like I'm a mma fighter But nice look at what are you are you are you in the festival? What who are you? Are you gonna talk to the mic Boston to give her the microphone?

What yeah, God for sure the fuck up What's your name? You got a hurry up or we're going to move on Come get the mic. I'm Tiffany for one two three Tiffany. Where you from? Fuck it. I deserve that Tiffany. Where you from Western Massachusetts? Are you are where are you from? Fuck it. I deserve that. Tiffany, where are you from? Worcester, Massachusetts. Are you a comic? Who are you?

I'm a comedian, yeah. You're a comedian and you're from Worcester and you're here on the fest. What's your strategy? What are you doing? I'm doing the, I'm watching you shows. No, what is it? What are you doing?

That's what I'm doing. What is watching? I'm not on the show. I'm not you. So I'm watching and you called me over. And so now I'm doing your show. No, what show are you doing at the first? Oh, I like your little tat in the inside of your arm.

That's cool. What does that say? So what's the most? I'm turning your mic off. You've done it. Goodbye. Hi, I'm your dad. She's done.

You're going to fucking out for me on my fucking. I'm asking her questions. I like your tattoos. Go fuck yourself. I'm from Boston to your mother fucker. Ah, wow. Anyway, I'll turn it back up. Wow, I don't know that.

I'm sorry, Kelly. Oh, you don't fuck. What, you turned golf just to my calm. I'm just dying to get it. I put it back up. I just don't know what show she's on. He is so, I did it just for laps tour with him. He's from Ireland.

David O'Donard, he's great. David are like Goofy funny, but when it like it's one of those acts where you can sit and just watching I met him last night. It's super funny. Yeah, very nice guy who is it? Just goofy though. It's from England right? Oh Australia. No Huh, I gotta get this yeah, go ahead. Oh darn yeah, I did a show last night with a boy who a boy with tape in his mouth Yeah, yeah, what is that boy with his mouth on his face tape on his face? He puts tape over his mouth. He's it's a mine. It's a fucking mind. He hasn't he has an hour show

Yeah, I mean he killed he I didn't know when he was I think he was getting off every five seconds because he was getting applause breaks And they came off and like he's brilliant. I came off, she went, that was fun. Oh God. What the fuck is that? The tape tonight. You just put that tape on your face tonight and just go up there and just do mine. Robert, do mine.

Robert, do mine. I saw what he did. It was like no different than Charlie Chaplin or Marcel Marceau. Yeah, they love it up here though. But you forget that it's French week too, right? Yes. I mean, it's not French. It's not a that it's French week too, right? Yeah, I mean, it's not French. Yeah, it's not It's next week's a whole different game, I think right? I would think so is comedy central coming here I think next week everybody comes up

Yeah, I remember I used to I did a few I did a special I did did a lot of then come in but apparently I'm too old now I'm not their demographic. You're not too old the older you get that doesn't exist in comedy. But I got what they said. I'm not their demographic. Now let me tell you something. I got 25 year old guys that come to my fucking show all the time. I am. Comey. Comedy Center is like before. It's like 50. This is what I got from them. And you cannot, I can't hate them for saying being honest. Our demographic starts at 15 years old. That's it. My act is not for a fucking 15 years old.

15 years old. Their MTV, it's Viacom. Right. They're watching videos. What work can you do your specials now? You have to do what I did. You have to go do yourself, raise the money yourself. You get a production company behind you, get a Kickstarter, or get the money out of your

bank, and get the people, the crew, and film yourself the way you want it. And then you go sell it like you'd sell any show. Right. It just sucks that there's not a comedy channel for like people are aged that are in their 40s. Well, no, it's fast paced, young, good looking, vibrant. No, but he is an old person. Yeah, you got to have experience.

You got to have a life experience. Have a 15 year old doing stand. It's not going to happen. You need when we grow up, we're, you know, we're watching all the dudes. We're watching older people. Yeah, but I think it's huge. I, when we grow up, when we're, we're watching all the dudes, we're watching older people. But I think it's, I think if you're 18, 19, 20,

you wanna hear an 18 or 19, 20 talking about what's going on. You know what I mean? We're not old, but that's not what, but you think, all right, I love Joan. I love Joan Rivers. Fucking love her. I think she's 80, I just hung out with her a couple of weeks ago.

She's 81 years old. She writes every fucking day. She can give a shit with people. You know, she's a great performer. 81. Example. Example. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if Comedy Central doesn't use you. I think you're, you can stick this in play. Yeah, it's just harder. It's just harder now. You have to find your home. I'm sorry. Don't go right now. What podcast? This your home. I'm sorry, don't go ahead. Right now. What? Podcast. This is taking so much fucking power away from everybody. I know, right?

You understand that to get this type of talent on a fucking show, it would take 20 people, all the co-exist, and agents, and now we can just fucking go at a table somewhere and sit down and fucking that. Do you ever hear someone stop you here and be like, oh, I wanted you for this, but your agent said, you know, you weren't. Remember how hard it was to come out when you first came out with an album, let's say in the early 90s, that cost a lot.

Then you had to go to like the, you know, some comedy album thing to get in stores. Now you can record today, have it up on iTunes by tonight, and literally cost you nothing. I was sitting and kill Kenny with Mark Marin, right? The book to us, Saturday night, he says, when he goes to my podcast, he's just starting. And I go, Mark, I'll do whatever you want. He goes, one, one can you do it?

He says, what about Matt? What's up? Sorry about that. Breath. Breath. Wussah. Breath. I see the anger.

Did anyone see you? Show, Tiffany. Ha, ha, ha, ha. If we don't have, if I can't find the beginning of this, and it just cuts in right now, it's because it got unplugged and we lost it. So if I find it great then we're just coming back into it. If that's what that fucking pause was, if not then fucking what are you gonna do? Let's get nostalgic about what we said. Remember the time?

Oh man. That's hilarious. When that talked about Dominic talked about comedy in the 80s and the 70s 80s and now that's fucking gone great. Yeah Well 80s and 70s are gone. Yes Yeah, comedy in the 90s, you know, I remember at catch Remember Ronnie shakes of course course. Fucking hilarious. I've loved it. Spinole. No, I'm blowing glass. Yeah. Ronnie shakes. Right. Fucking brilliant. He was on tonight. Show, you know, another

comedian that died to a young thing that died to a young that was jogging. Remember his wife, Susie. Yeah, of course. How do he die? He was on the road. He went for a jog. He dropped a heart attack. Yep. Wow. Hold of guy. Was he when that happened? 40? 40. But he was fucking great. Here's the thing. I'm not famous enough to die right now. For you don't even ever give a fuck. Yeah, I was on a plane. So my wife's going to have to fucking go get a job.

You know what I mean? Like if you're fucking famous enough, you have the money in the bank or your friends will do like a benefit every like treason to raise money for your family Right, no, I have one benefit. We'll get like maybe 14 grand out of it half of you fucks will go I can't make it. I would suggest you don't I can't I gotta go fucking yeah I was on a plane and Jennifer Garner was on the plane. I was like fuck you know like and a comedian

Wait, who else was on? Listen, famous people don't, you know, if you're on a plane with a famous person, it doesn't crash. It only crashes on little planes. That's a fact. No famous person has ever died in a, in a, that is so what are you talking about? It's a fact. Name one. Name one.

No, it's a large plane. On a large plane. Name one. Name one. All right. Well, I was just no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's true. You know it all. I know. I thought it was Ampere. I said it finish it's strong. Sorry. What are you

going to keep going? Julie Bestady. Come on. The fucking country. Cunty. Cunty. Dike. I was on a plane with, I was on the plane and it, it, we took off, we had to land because something happened with the landing gear. We had a land and they were like, we're

gonna try to do this because you don't know what the fuck's happening. And then we land, we get on another plane and something happened with that plane. They shuffle us off that. I tell my agent, I go, look, I don't know if I should take the next flight. This is maybe God saying the fuck. Right. And Dina Ross is on the fucking plane.

He is. You know what? Don't worry about it. You're fine. Famous people don't die in big planes. Okay. I'm going to tell you a story about a plane ride. I'm on JetBlue. Let's let's edit it. Keep it. Keep it. It's really good. I'm on JetBlue. I'm sitting in row five. Get the point. There's a guy and I'll go. I'll go. Fuck you window. Keep leaving this fucking rod. This is your fucking. This is your fucking love. I'm talking about you. Oh, that is fucking. Oh, I'm blue. Oh, fucking. You blew that.

Yeah. And, you know, no respect towards you. Like, yeah, I like that. All right, listen. Fuck her. So that's why people say, why do you hate good looking people? Good looking because they suck. She's not that good looking. Yeah, well, to fucking head front, she is.

Okay. I thought she was good looking until she opened her fucking mouth. Listen, I'm in five this guy His wife and their two kids are in row four, right? Right the bait. There's two babies One baby is like a year and the seat is facing me And the baby's fucking screaming and screaming and then starts throwing shit over the chair and keeps hitting me and I keep just picking it up and giving it to the mother. And she never says thank you.

Never says thank you. So, and we're on the runway for like two hours and I start tweeting baby in front of me just through blank, mother didn't, you know, baby screen, you know, at first it was like a book then it was food, then it was all this shit. Anyway, I guess they knew who I was and the father started a Twitter account for the baby going, oh, you want to know I was screaming because I just heard your

act. Wow, that's funny. It was so it became really abusive, like awful. Yeah, I want to know why I was crying because Sick of hearing your Jewish mother. It was like so And then took a picture of me Sleeping with my mouth open because I was sleeping with my mouth open and wrote some fucking nasty shit like Abusing me on Twitter. Wow. What are you doing that first? No, I didn't identify who the I said I'm on a plane and a baby is doing this Like they don't know who's fucking baby. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know And then they're like Judy goes a con Judy goes fucking

You know, I was like, you know, I can't like you've been a drill when we went on a fucking plane and they fell asleep You know if your kids throw and shit at me and what about what about those Jim Florentines on a flight and he's texting what a creep the guy is next to him and the guy turns to him he goes dude I'm a fan I don't know why you tweet he was following on my Twitter I've done that before when I've seen famous people on the flight of real quick glams in their switch over to their Twitter feed that you have there, they're talking about it. We can do that. I don't know how to do that.

You can search, yeah, I search like, at tags or stuff like that. Right. I had, well, just a random, weird plane moment. I listen to really soft chick rock when I'm on a plane so I can go to sleep. What's chick rock? Well, like Kobe Calais.

Why is that chick rock? Well like Kobe Calais. Why is that Chick-Rop? What's the name of Kobe Calais? She's a girl with a guitar. Who else? No, but usually her. Oh, okay. So I had it in my, so she's playing in my earphones. I start to fall asleep and I feel a body stepping over me you know, like because I'm sleeping.

So the person's shadowing me. I opened my eyes, because I was gonna move, because I hate when people do that. Yeah. It's Kobe Kale. What? You're a fucking lying. I'm listening to Kobe Kale.

She steps over in my brain, like, it was, my brain was so detached. You was in trouble, were you in first class? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I get first time. I was up great. I'm an executive platinum. You kidding me? Very pretty. Was it tight? Were you in first class? Yeah. Oh yeah, I was up great. I'm an executive platinum. You kidding me?

Very pretty. Wow. And then I talked to her and she was really cool. That was starring someone who was on the plane. I swear to G-Day. Yep, I swear to God. I've been on the plane and saw me on the plane in a movie. Yeah.

Really? Nobody noticed. I wanted to go. I was trying to do faces. I'm like, I'm like, I'm just going to the bathroom. Put the overhead luggage in. I was trying to do faces like they do is doing, like the kind of person was like this, looking, staring at the movie,

not even looking at me going, nothing. And I saw them laugh at what I, haha, that was it. Well, movie was a restaurant. He said that was a good luck truck. You go to the restaurant, that's what you do. That happened to me. I can't fuck it.

I never, unless I absolutely have to. I never go in that fucking bathroom. First of all, get the pee in the fucking toilet. Like what, it's like fully gotten on the floor. You have to fucking bend yourself in threes to get in that fucking bathroom. I remember watching the road to fucking railing village to Lou

Diamond Phillips. Really? Yeah, awesome. I was like, we were like this budget going pretty good. Yeah, it's like Lou Diamond Phillips. It's like, remember what God free wasn't here and everyone taught. Balls. I love Lou Diamond

Phillips. I'm like, you're so many races. We all want to figure you out, bro. I love Lou Diamond because he'll like, how you're so many races. We all want to figure you out, bro. I love Luke Diamond, because he'll be really Asian looking, then who, then he, then he's, even the festival starts getting shitty. When he's fucking good looking people start showing up.

She wants to look at me. I know the whole vibe's gonna change in a couple of days when there's people here. I fucking love this part of the festival. Which one? What everybody says? Because I feel like we're bonding. I feel like I get to hang out with you guys.

Before the storm comes. And it's not like everyone's in their business. A desperation. It's going to get there. Fucking clawing. It's just ridiculous. Wait till the after party. Wait till the after party.

I don't know about their set that long. I don't really go to it. I don't really go to it anymore. If everybody doesn't know at Montreal, we're at the high, at the high at the high at the Zahayat bar. And after all the shows at 11 or so 12 everybody in the chicomics We all come back here and we hang out, but every time I've done that I've lost my fucking voice Because there's so many people you're screaming over it. I come in. I go one two rounds and I'm out I'm gone. I go. I like to go on on my I do my, you show up and then I go upstairs and.

You should show up. Yeah. You should show up. Colin Quinn had a little, he did a little thing last year. Yeah. A little sort of a state of a union sort of the Andy Kimler thing. And he said, maybe I should have been more into networking. There's some things I should have done.

Yeah. Cause I hated people. I didn't want to do this. He goes, you know, he's saying you guys, it's okay to do, y es decir, es ok, no hay que ser ahí, pero tienes que ver tu fase, pero tienes que ver tu fase. Ya sé que me he visto mucho, raro. Eso es lo que me he hecho. ¿Qué fue la verdadera parte del show?

Y ahora todos estos shows son los sóbrids de ese show. de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Spectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desesperan. ¡Fliparás! Vuelades de madrida, Murcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea. Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad, consulta They're all nudged to not offend. The one thing about Tough Crowd is that when you got that many comics in a room, that many different comics, you realize who's funny offstage and who's not. You can take a hit who can't,

who surrounds themselves with, yes, people who doesn't. And then, you know, it's, it effect, I mean, look, I got fucking hurt on that show. I've had shit set about me that fuckinger. I've said stupid shit on that show Yeah, but I love the realness of it cuz oh no I like comments made mistakes Comics would say shit. Yeah, and get in nothing Like it's not like the Byron Allen. We each everybody's kill it. I that show I never did that show I did it sick five my first

Again, and I'm doing it again because it's TV and I need to do It's a guy it's just it looks so fucking stupid. It's it is like jokes that up jokes that out they do my first episode was with Dennis Miller Dennis Miller did it. I want to the other night, but it's so fake. It's like it's horrible Oh, you've done it about your time right the other day time. I'll never do it again. Yeah I mean the segues are because I don't like it can try yeah it's so can try. They ask you so I understand you're in a car do I ever? You're literally simplifying what you do and I say one thing. Some type of bullshit. No you can't just say one thing. It's one thing. I just farted. And

it was just I didn't know it was coming out. It was a little far. Just letting somebody help you write a joke about that. I will let it. No, I just it was a teeny. That's segue. You just said though, that's even too long of a segue. It's normally like, do you rent cars? All right. You like, you know, you got a haircut the other day, right? And then bid. Yeah, but can no one laughs at it? You know like but Byron Allen doesn't blink which freaks me out too What's he up again? That's incredible like what was this? No, oh people to know I mean I'm not kids real people real people with skip Steven's oh my god He is one of the richest guys in the final

He has a vanquish. Oh, dude. He's so much of money came in It's one of those bet is a vanquish I'm day I had one of those vanquishes Aston Martin. Yeah, which is the one I want to Tesla. Yeah, that car is great because you get whiplash It goes so fast and so you go and light to light on sunset. Yeah, literally just smashing your head Yeah, this is fun Now you had all that money. Yeah. Would you do that, show?

I'd get you a, I would, yeah, I would get you so I get you a nice penis too. Yeah. Yeah, fat cake. Yeah, I'm a transition. I made out of cake. Kiggy, fucking eat it. I'd be a good guy. Don't you think I'd be a Mattal?

I'd be like a hot looking guy. Yeah, oh, you'd be a great guy. Thanks. Thank you. Thanks. God for you. I were bonding yesterday about our jealous girlfriends. Oh, yeah, no doubt. Yeah, go out for his jealousy. Oh, no, I get phone call literally. I get phone calls like at 11 o'clock at night. Yeah. Who's Bonnie shorts? I'm like, I don't know.

Oh really? Well, there's a picture of you and her on Facebook. Jesus Christ. Well, I, I, I, but you didn't cause yours. No, I picked that up. No, I'm sorry. She's not crazy. I made her crazy from being stupid and ruining it.

I don't, I don't ask you some dumb. Have you ever been married? Yes. You were married. How long? Five years but I live with her for ten and why'd you get divorced? Because of my hobby. What was your hobby other women? Oh My Bobby, you know you put them up during the tail hit him out

Will you really just bang your bronze is that why well?, yeah. Really? Hold where you at this time. I don't know, 30, early 30s. Got you. What about the Carol Lefer Rich Shidener? What about the story? Which story? The story of he was working at a gig. They were married.

He's working at a gig. She's working at the gig, the Net-Poll. The situation asked me. Yeah. Go good. Yeah, she goes real slow No, go ahead is this true. This is a rumor. I had heard he's working a gig Headlining she comes in the following week headlining. Yeah, and One of the waitresses says oh my god that guy last week was such a good fuck or something like that to her. I don't know that story. I know this story.

Just let you know that this could happen. Yeah, I'm extraordinary. He's getting this guy's getting divorced now. What his wife did. Higher to private investigator to go to all of his shows. Right. So now random audience guy, you have no idea. That guy then hung out in the bars, you know groups and then when the comic then Went with you know said girl or met the girl went back to the hotel the guy cased him the entire time and the guy had proof and

The entire time the comic didn't know somebody was at that club spying. It could happen to anybody Well, well not anybody not if you're god then professional time the comic didn't know somebody was at that club spying it could happen to anybody. So, not anybody, not if you're god damn professional. And he's gonna have to hang out with some training bars if he wants to catch me. He's gonna have to love house music and Filipino boy women. You're married and someone has to hire a private investigator. That's it. Yeah, that's probably, he's kind of doomed. Yeah. Yeah. That's doomed. Yeah. That's crazy. Do you miss being married, Dom?

No, because we're better friends now. Not to be corny, but I heard daughter is my God daughter. I've helped raise her. So I got the benefits of it without the downside. So you live alone now? Yeah. And now you live in the same place for how long? Well, I live with a girl from Montreal for 10 years. They're a two meter the other night, Sophie. I didn't meet her. Oh, no. Nobody introduces you.

Well, because you don't think I'm a fight. You don't treat me right. You know what? You don't respect for me. I'm thinking it's a new leaf on. I would love to have a new leaf. I love to be friends. I love to be friends, Donald.

I don't want to start this on the air. You want to be friends? I would like to be friends with you. I would like to have a new leaf. I love to be friends, Donald. I don't. I'd start this on the air. You want to be friends? I would like to be friends with you. Right. But are we friends just fucking another country? Or can we be friends in America too? Yeah, I'm going to be specific with you.

I'll get back to you about America. You have to claim your friendship at customs. I can't promise a merger. I claim you as a company. First of all, I want to give myself credit for the vlogging of the podcast. I think I handled that good as opposed to 10 years ago. I would have thrown that out of fucking window. Why would she step on fucking wires though? Yes, why do you think? Stupid. The thing was like you let her have the mic and then she was completely disrespectful to you. Yeah, yeah, you just trying to be cool. I was trying to choose nervous

I was trying to use the other hand of that situation. Yeah, well, it's just you know, maybe that's it But it's like I don't know you can you at some point you know how to act Yeah, I was trying to reach out. Hey, once come over exactly Yeah, and it could have been like hey, I'm here. Yeah, here anyways. I'm watching like be like I'm watching the comments. I'm literally inviting you over I'm literally inviting you over with the a list of mother fuckers to be on a fucking huge show, you know This this is not the biggest one but we get around 60-70,000 people a week. That's great. And here's a deal You know what? Let's do it over.

No, for right now, it's a 17-minute podcast. You're going to pop the wire. If I can't find the beginning of this, I just don't get it. Take a look. I don't have the time for that. I get time for that here. I just want to know, what do you do? Well, that's all.

And she got all, maybe she just partially inept when she gets nervous. She just doesn't, because she was playing tough girl the whole time. Yo, I'm a poet I'm out and I'm out I'm out. I'm out with an angel when she got here She was like intimidated because it was like beasts at the table. Yeah, it was the night's temp bar I just give myself crap that I didn't fucking snap I couldn't your vocabulary. I know. Yeah, I was pissed, but I handle that really I'll tell you what app is helping me.

You're perfect. Well, this app is helping me. I have an meditation app that I've been doing. Let me see. I know if you settle down, you do. I do, but I do better to shut your fucking mind. I have a great meditation. It's called mindfulness.

Yeah, I got that. I have a great meditation program for a guy I took showed you how to meditate. Yeah What's it called? It's called the I'll send you still in this project. You know that TM that everybody does yes, that's expensive. Okay Yes, $1,500 okay, so and you have to bring fruit well, he doesn't give you a mantra So this guy you have to bring fruit and you have to bring fruit Orange or what it plums to this fucking guy. Oh, you don't get your mantra.

Which is Tim. Yeah, Tim. And they give you this mantra, and that's you never share it with anybody. So then you learn how to do this. It's a choice. I'm not going to tell you why. You're not, you can never say it all out.

You're not using it. Yeah, but I do. Sometimes I do too. I want to fucking do that. But this guy that I took a phone. You're not using it. She's not a phone. Call a phone call. No, I'm looking at the meditation thing called the stillness Stillness project, but he used to teach them for 30 years and went you know what? Why is he I'm getting all this money?

So he shows you the same exact thing and it's under a hundred bucks and it's a YouTube like you sign in and then he walks You through it just in a video and then you send me a SMS to me and you get, I'm such a believer in it, like every time I go, this is going to be dumb and you do it and I just repeat my one word and like 20 minutes goes by and then one word, just one like word noise thing that you just keep repeating. What's the first letter? Can we have the first letter? I can't, you can't because then it wrecks because if you share it

Then it wrecks what it is and then so that's like the one thing you have that person you have to send it to me That's almost like fucking it's a great program and it's not too artsy farty It's not you know like you know, like you've been working for you I do it. I fall asleep when I do it, but it does So it's not working for you No, I think do it. Look at him. I fall asleep when I do it, but it does work for you. No, I think that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to. You're trying to go so.

But sometimes, yes, I'm supposed to. I've done it perfect sometimes where, wait, you don't fight your things, and then I think I hear myself snoring, but I'm still having conversations with myself. And then you pop out of that 20 minutes going, I feel it's, it's, it's, it's a lot of science behind it but I'll send it to you guys and it's you know there's apps that you just look up just look up on YouTube TM mindfulness it's blue TM is the expensive one I'll I'll I'll give you a different TM is people yeah I have the knockoff the $500M. is the $500. $500. I mean, $1500. Around $1500. Oh, really?

Yeah. It's a good thing. Yeah. Colin Quinn did that. And I tried to get his mantra out of me. It wouldn't give it to me either. He's called, he's called. It's like the only secret you ever keeping your life.

I love what he said to me. You're not using it. Why, why don't you tell me you're not using it? Yeah, but you're not. I am. I can't. I use it on airplane. Do you really think that if you gave it to me

and I used it, it would fuck you up? You know, it's the fact that he shared it and knows that somebody else has, like that's the thing. It's like, this is mine, nobody else's. Nobody else gets the hat. What's that about sharing? Well, he's supposed to say that about your wife too, but it's not about sharing, huh?

It's not the better than seeing a guy like God free walking. No, I'm kidding. He's a kid. You know, my relationship with John, I don't know him that well, but it's amazing to, whatever, never mind Judy. Please, go ahead. Now I'm done. I'm sorry, I'm done.

I'm sorry, I'm done. I'm sorry, I'm done. No, please, don't do that, don't do it, don't. Every fucking time I told you. All right, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. You own a God for you for yapping, you're fucking yapping at the wrong time. Go ahead, Dom.

Our relationship has changed. No, I'm saying that, you know, yapping at the wrong time. Go ahead, Dom. Our relationship has changed. No, I'm saying that, I don't know, John, that well, I remember we met years ago, and we were having one night in Boston, and he was just the rattyest fucking drunk. He wanted to fight half the bar, and I'm like grabbing on to John, man, you know, I don't know if he's gonna turn on man, I didn't think he was,

but it was like, remember, and now you're fucking drinking him one. No, that's amazing. You seem, I don't know if he's gonna turn on man and think he was but it was like remember and now you don't fucking drink anymore. No, that's amazing. You seem I don't know if it's TM but you certainly seem at peace with yourself. What belt do you in now? Jiu Jitsu. I've done Krav Magov her 15 years but I don't ever test her belt. I just go. Right. I'm just never around to test it. I've done Jiu Jitsu and Krav fighting but now my new thing is I'm a kind I'm a gun guy and I've been taking Filipino knife fighting screamers I'm not gonna be in shape. So eventually you reach a thing where I'm not gonna. I'll box you Stab him. I'm a stab him or shoot him. Yeah, and there's an art or a Michael Cain fighting because eventually

I'm just giving an old guy and I'll always have a cane right in my hand Right, and then I'll learn how to fight. You know, my grandfather never got no fight. Does that possibility? Yeah, there's a lot of that. You're just dying without fighting. You're looking for a fight. Yeah, you can actually live your life and just have to do some paint fighting.

Have dinner. Have dinner. Have a garden, grow some tomatoes, and then die. And you never fight any but just be old in mind your business. He just wants to fight. You're an asshole, man. Stop hanging out in Louisville bars you fucking You like this. I'm old man, but I swear to God someone try to fuck with me You don't get that cane whooping. I went to get a falafel late at night and a mother fucking wanted money

I came to them and stabbed them and shot them then I did some Kroma Garwin I got them down to the level I can kick him at I'm 88 Then I did some Kroma Ga-wan. I got him down to the level I could kick him at. I'm 88. My grandfather was 101. He never got into a fight. Ever. Yeah. A century piece. He's dead now. He did a century of peace. 1910. I got him a 1910 penny. It was worth 50 bucks. That's pretty cool. My father was born in 1916. Wow. Wow.

Yeah. As a president, as a president of my grandfather, but close. But man, yeah, you're going to take a screamer. Are you taking a screamer? What? To stick fighting. That's Filipino stick fighting, but the knife fighting. What's that called?

Well, there's a thing called like the Bang Brothers is a porn. It's called dog brothers. I know, brothers. Where you have a hockey helmet, gloves, and then you have stick sticks. Yeah. You actually use a screamer. And then you tackle each other, then you have a hockey helmet gloves and then you have stick sticks. Yeah, actually that's a screamer And then you tackle each other then you have to ground fight and then you have plastic knives where you practice different Do you want you to do? Like okay. Yeah, exactly. I got fucking Judy go dumb. What do I mean the real what are they gonna do?

They're gonna fight yeah, I took knife fighting when I was in the Philippines Don't you ever get it was that fight you got into? Last fight. Yeah, that's to me how to fuck get somebody in knuckle sandwich I had to fight with dice clay get the fuck out of you But it didn't like what happened was he pushed me against the wall and he had me He's much bigger than me. Yeah, and it was very short because then I went and broke a bottle This is only a couple years ago really said, you know, I said, this equals, what's up? Come on, motherfucker. And then he was, well, what are we talking about this? So I agreed with him.

A couple of years ago, this wasn't like, yeah, yeah. Well, can I, so, so, he doesn't rack his weights at the gym. That's what everyone in my gym can play in the back. Was he, was he, was he, was, hang on one second. Was this out of one of the clubs? Well, you know what happened was I was, I was trying to stick up for the young comics because everybody's waiting to go on and I go and you you know Come on give these guys a break your own for a long time and you know, he's talking about your dick or whatever and He came off the stage I didn't know he was gonna touch me, but he pushed me against the wall and he was so much fucking bigger than me. I'm thinking, unless I kick him in the balls, I better do something. So I went around and I got a bottle. I remember it was a bottle

of bud, boom. And then I went out and that was, you know, he started when he wanted to talk, we talked. Right. Yeah. there's no I got a big noise a lot to touch me rule that I live by That's never I mean in happiness No, I don't I'm little okay, I want to fight I would get beat up in a second. You know, man You could be like I just said just don't yeah, I like the face in this yeah I like police I don't that's a bully move. Like me being bigger than you slam, you know, not me being bigger, but him being.

Why'd you frame the hook of bottles? Yeah, yeah. But the whole thing about fighting is not to get the didactic pedantic. The only thing about is the first fucking sucker punch. I mean, in real fighting, you know, like real street fighting, it's getting not being fair Not fighting like a gentleman fucking fucking cracking the guys hard as you can because you don't know who he is and what's gonna happen

Yeah, right. Well, my dude. He Judy fuck is this conversation? So you've never had you've never fought anybody now. You've never had a fight. I got hit a lot as a kid I never hit anything. What do you mean you got hit? I got hit. I got smacked. I got hit by whip with the belt. Oh, you parent hit you. No, nobody's all you can. Street stuff.

Street stuff. Mike Sun gets in a lot of street fights. Really? Gold or Sun? What do you tell him to do? I'm like, can you cut the shit? Really? Yeah.

He loves fighting. I don't fucking get it. It's the fighting sports more than anything. You did. I got, this is very funny. I thought, you know, at the time it was funny. I, these guys were pressing us. I was playing basketball.

Yeah. And the refs letting them hit us and check us, you know. And finally, the ball goes down and I think this guy's taking a swing at me. So I fucking kicked him in the head, but like I feel gold kick. Like I stepped back, I looked at it, my size did up. It was so fucking mean in me. And I just fucking kicked him in the head. Wow.

And the whole, you know, both benches empty. They grabbed me and pulled me out. But the funniest part was the coach is telling me, you know, you can't kick people in the head. Like I go, I know coach. And he goes, we're going to have to suspend you and all this and some ball don't, you know. Anyway, I was in the middle of this, my friend of mine comes in who's a five foot eight of tang guy like me. And he goes, thanks a lot Nick.

Fuckin' thought I was you. They beat the fuck out of me. Yeah, they put his fucking, his eye was leading his mouth and bleeding and I just started laughing. Yeah, we all look alike. You hear Adam Hunter beat the crap out of Willy Bar Senator. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What was that? You know, that told me that.

What? What? What happened? Well, Willy Bar Senator was accusing Adam Hunter of stealing. Joe, which Adam doesn't do that. Adam has his own little style. And so Willy was like, yo, you keep taking my jokes, you keep taking my stuff.

And Adam's like, I don't really look like, right? Willie's Mexican. Oh, Mexican goes, I don't even know you. Thanks Bobby. No, because he did an accent. You're like, yo, you keep it. No, he does how he talks. All right, I thought it was man.

He wasn't a, it wasn't a fucking effron. He was a best friend of his friends. Yo, you keep it. All right. Let him go. We're on 19 minutes. Oh yeah, let's go. So he kept bothering Adam Adam.

Then they were at that Ha Ha place and supported or whatever and like Lancership Ha Ha club. Yeah. And so Adam Willey came. Adam had his laptop on him and Willey sucka punched him. Adam put down his laptop and went to work on him.

He took him down his start beating his face in yeah, and then Adam called me and said hey man I just I just I didn't know Willie Barcena couldn't fight I whoop to that he actually tie he he clenched them and just started throwing knees Adam at every time we lost the lesbian again guys we lost these are tough kids we lost the lesbian again Every time we lost the lesbian again guys we lost these a tough kid we lost the lesbian Well you want fucking boring. I what are you gonna do reading my I'm reading Well you know like this is manly story like you man like that's awesome like that's why we're telling these stories Yeah, I just Listening to this shit. I tell you what it is. It's it's it's it's uh

It's just two different you, different, you know. When we were talking to Judy and in Dom, we were on a fucking roll. And then, you know, then we started talking about this bullshit. Right. I liked the comedians today because I grew up with a lot of the never-she guys who talked about their mother and all. I liked the idea, like, everybody, you know, they got dubbed David off and guys that are in shape that would fight in a second. What about that are in shape that you know would fight in a second

What about guys who aren't in shape that would fight a second? Well, I like that same thing. I like the balls in them them and they have to watch that they don't get at a breath at all I mean there are more guys like that like I think I'm definitely not like that But I have a my act is the little testosterone driven not not a lot Oh, it changed completely in my my life, you know the whole thing, but now there's that whole group is like Do you remember in Thor when the hammer fell? What's with that comic book like there's that whole new generation of comics That just do very like like not Manly material. You're not gonna offend any Well, you're not going to offend any of these.

You're not going to, there's a lot, because the coming now is very, very non-offensive. I mean, I don't offend anybody, so I'm not making it for that, but it's very not do-of-life me. I hear you. I'm do-of-life. You are.

I am. You're very aggressive. You walk out, you fucking, you take over. You're very aggressive. Right. Yeah. Yep. Dom just fell asleep. Oh've been aggressive. That's the yeah. Yeah. Yep. Dom just fell asleep.

Oh, sorry. You're going to be like, he was just looking at no phone. No more dude comedy, no tough guy. I don't know, tough guy. No, your generation is much tougher than mine was. Mine was much more nebyshy. And I was, I felt out of place with a lot of them. Not that I'm such a tough guy, but it was, you know,

it's like they're talking about their mother and this. Boy, yeah, I watched the first season of evening at Dame I'm not that I'm such a tough guy, but they were, you know, it's like, they're talking about their mother and this. Or, yeah, I watched the first season of Evening at the Improv. It's on Hulu. And it's funny when you see all these guys that, like, nobody had TV experience. So there are guys that were like super famous doing TV for the first time, doing crowd work

that's just taking forever. And it's funny, like a musical style, every guy on the first season was, have you guys seen this commercial? That's literally like everything out of everyone. Have you seen this commercial? I think I got that from David Brenner. That was, like that was a style.

Then you can see that the year you see it. David Brenner, I was a catch. You ever fight him? I did. I was a catch, he comes in. Don't stop her. Who's, I think I did. I was a catch. Don't install her. Who's, I think I was I'm saying. He never wanted an intro.

You know, like he, so he said, like, you know, just don't go up. I'll bring myself up. So the last comic, you know, the comic ends, and then he had a white fur coat on. And he walks on stage. Because the audience is like, what the fuck, where's the amp say? He walks on stage and he stands there and he slowly takes off his coat, waiting for the audience to go fucking crazy

And some people clapped and then he starts doing his act and then at the end he said any question For me and some kid raises his hand and says yeah, who are you? Like a 20 something year okay don't and judia both on their phone you were just fucking looking at your phone and when I told that story I wasn't I was gonna look at your phone don't doesn't care he's mad at me because he thinks I cut him off are you mad at her don't he says his bottle of beer he's gonna bust it I was gonna wrap this up

What's it? I want the whole beginning was 30. We love to do your show sometime Can I do your podcast? Yeah, I'm not kidding. Judy. Judy. What's your what's your Twitter handle? We're gonna be it's at Judy gold J.E.W. D.Y. G.O.L.T. okay J.E.W. D.-Y G-O-L-T. As in, J-O-D-Go. We got it. We got it. Shut the fuck up. Thank you. It's great work on you.

I love you. I like to do interviews with you when I'm feel like talking. I'm here to speak for Dom. Apparently everybody. There's people drinking shut the fuck up. I didn't talk at all during your fucking, I beat the shit out of this guy, and then you got to kick him in the head, and then you got to fucking punch him, and then you got to put, you know, be some fucking boring bullshit.

Lesbo. You wish I talked about you You would be like, you know Jubian Yep Moon you fucking so then he pushes me right Well, you don't fucking push me like what is that? You didn't even realize let me let's go

Defending they don't get the first hand for the show, you even realize like, probably asked me a question directly. I was answering it and then you started talking about catchurizing stars, some shit. I never even got a chance to answer the question about theater and all that stuff. That's why I really would love to do your show some time.

What do we do a one-on-one? Yeah, let's do that. I want to know what you do. Can we do one-on-one? Me and you? No, you're just with that one. I did one with you a long time ago. I didn't know what I was doing. I was dead last night.

No, of course you can't. That he has not been on an audition in 15 years. Yeah. That's true, didn't I go? Yeah, I don't know an audition. He doesn't like it. It takes away from my power. Power is a proper person. You fucking stutter. No you know what you know I just couldn't take it. I couldn't I remember being like a big deal up here and going to LA and there's this big bull

like eating a fucking tuna sandwich, reading a sports page on his cell phone and I'm reading with her. I'm going to fuck him. I can't do both. I can either stay in LA in audition. Sure. Yeah. Oh, see, that's a nice person that walk by. She's the press person. Yeah, she's right for the festival. This year, I agree with you though. I mean, there's a certain point where you can get to go. I had to do an audition last week on tape and it was, there was an accent, they wrote in an accent,

but didn't tell me, it wasn't a description like this guy has something accent. So you had the fucking kind of big video taping audition. I have to do one in my hotel. I did one last night. Yeah, I did one last night. I did one last night. Did you shoot that, man? You got to find the light.

I had, you know what? Let me tell you something. I got this girl who works here, who is a film student. Where, who? And she works in the thing, and I paid her 100 bucks. And she videotape my, I think she does the lighting. She does it all. She do that.

I don't, she's right now. She's She does it all. She do that. I don't, uh, she holds up right here right now. She's there. Right. Is she Marie Michelle, her name is Marie Michelle. How did you audition go? I don't know. I have to say this is the most boring conversation I've ever heard of my life. Oh, wait, I have something I have to say.

You guys have seen her before. You were a fight and John Hifrin. You don't fucking, you don't hit them in the head, you know Like that's bullshit Hey, he's gone Jordi What do you know I'm listening to you? John don't where can we where can we get dodgy Brad? So early you could call him in my house at 3 2 3

7492 you know the rest. I don't think they're it out. I don't know how many combinations are there. There's like right? There's a billion. A couple hundred. No, with the last you and left two numbers. You left two numbers out.

So it's like a couple hundred. Yeah, right? And my fans have nothing to do, but fucking figure that out. I can't wait until they get it. Why is he not free yawning? Because he's always tired. Do I'm like a... It's that paley open you're doing.

You're doing... I just wanna... You're kind of fucking... What are you doing? Dane Cook trying to get muscle man look. I got that before Dane. You heard a lot about this, Miss. I was like, Dane.

One day, God. Wait a second, Judy's saying he? I'm saying something. We can all relate to one day, your headlining, and a big fucking theater with 500 people, and everyone wants to get out of there. 500? Damn, I'm too late. Those are old school theaters.

You guys are fucking dead. Fuck you. And then the next day, you're here with us. You're like, you're not filling and then the next day. Yeah, you're here with you're like You know it's just so fucked up. Godfrey. What do you have to promote? Say a twit on me at Tom Marrera I'm gonna Reconvicted as the Twitter right there. I don't want to end this fucking thing before somebody unplugs it Someone comes over and unplug who the fucking plugs a fucking

These fucking tattoos like I have a tattoo Over your fucking back All right, well, and I'm gonna should probably leave the mic on and just let Judy rant Remember the day when we all, we don't, okay? I thought that was good. I mean, I put up with your fucking bullshit fighting story. So stupid, then you with the guns and the fucking Tai Chi, whatever the hell it is. I hope you've snatched it from you.

I gotta go into you. Tiam, I gotta go. I'm a trained in Jim Coddett. Look it up. I love Jim Codd and look it up. I love Jim Codd. He is fucking hilarious. Listen to the Know What Dude podcast. You guys are the best fans of the world.

Go ridecast.com and check out all the other shows. We have the funniest shows in the fucking world. You guys are the best fans. You know what, dude? Live from JFL Montreal, 2014. John Heffron, God-free, Judy Gold, and Dom Eyreira. Thank you so much for stopping by. And...

Thank you, brother. Thank you. Take care. Thank you. You've been listening to YKWD Podcast. Podcast. Thanks for listening. Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Shitty jobs. Check out riotcast.com for all of the best podcasts on the internet.

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