Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Panther

Episode Date: November 17, 2014

Robert is joined by Dan Soder, Louie Katz, Mike Recine, Chris Scopo and Deepu Gill.   RiotCast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ya son casi las dos, nos vamos a ir a casa o hemos venido a jugar. A casa, a casa, nadie va a irse a casa. Hay que ponerse modo de racón. ¿Eres un dragón? Soy el dragón de Fireball. Ya te digo yo que las mejores historias siempre piezan con un chupito de Fireball. Bien, frío. Yo, pues al lío.

Un Fireball, sabes que la fiesta será épica. Ignite the night, con fireball. Disfruta de un consumo responsable, 33 grados. Buscas contenido gratis. I wanna be see. Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con series como South Park o sensación de vivir. Descarga ya la aplicación en todos tus dispositivos. Pluto TV, ven a verlo sin pagar nunca. I always try to keep it like a comic-can. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down, and sometimes it's hilarious.

Sometimes it's intense. It's rubber-killing. You know what? I'm a kid. I'm a kid. There's no topics, no directions. But I love doing it. I'm a kid.

I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid.

I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. I'm a kid. Yeah, this is such an 80s wrestler intro. He's in the arena! Robert Kelly is in the arena! He's got a chair! That's sort of a bitch! You got a chair! That's not a bitch, you got a chair! All right, we are back with the, yes, I've gained weight in a week, in one week.

For all the people viewing right now, yes, I'm back with what I was a week ago. How much? 17 pounds. No way! No, I'm kidding. It's fact that that's fucking believable. I don't know, did you fluctuate weight like a high school wrestler?, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, We uh

I love you fucking mafia Don cough we You get him you get him tonight This clock second tried to poison me look at like the kingpin too from spider-man a little bit spider-man It's fuck that spider-man you fucking dumb dumb. Oh, sorry. We made a mistake Well, why would we fuck with a Jew with glasses when it came to Fucking references on comic books. He looks like he also wrote up the trade copyright on kingpin for Marvel Wow is there a word? No, not a bomb on a wordy one It's a bomb data that just keeps going and going Let my jokes breathe

and going. I come here to really let my jokes breathe. I wish you'd let him die. Hey, we got a very special show today. To my left, the producer of the show, the booker of the show, the main guy who fucking didn't want D-Poo here. No, I'm kidding. You just want to start some shit between us. Now, I love it. This shit's over. Kelly's gone who I love. I love Kelly. Be honest. I do. I love Kelly be honest. I do I love Kelly man You can't ever fucking take that away from me. I love fucking Kelly for stuka if it wasn't for her first of all You should love her you wouldn't be here and if you weren't here deep who would fucking still be here Hopefully I would have found him the genesis of this podcast. It's Kelly for stuka begot chris copo She's patient zero.

And she gets that. That's what Kelly is in the podcast world, the outbreak monkey. She's spitting someone's mouth and then we're all infected. Hello. Hi. I'm fucking walking around

and Morgan Freeman like outbreaks. But, no, I do, I love Kelly and I miss her. And it's great but there hasn't been any controversy between the inner circle of us. You know what I mean? Like nobody's fought on the show. Do you see the problem? Well, Lewis hasn't been on the show.

I mean, yeah, it's not true. Bro, bro, why would you say that, bro? Yeah. But is it better without the conflict or you miss the conflict? I don't mind conflicts at all. Like Howard Stern said, don't run away from controversy. Run to it. Oh, you sound just like it.

It's it, it, it, it. Let it in. I was just waiting for fucking Deepu to give me a close up what she never did. Fucking wow, not everybody's perfect. Yeah, you got the Anthony Cumi or shirt on you. Yeah, I don't know. What are you trying to fucking say?

You got a lot of confidence for sure. Uh, white power. Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, Fucking scum was getting funny. This is two weeks in a row.

He said more than two. Yeah, Yeah, No, I don't know. I just, I was, The first thing I saw today, I just grabbed it. Are you a stutterer? Yeah.

I'm just, I just picked that up. Mm-hmm. You stutter? Why don't you tell me fun of by my principal Fucking public school and fucking nothing school. Oh, yeah, it was like in the fourth grade I started and then she goes spit it out I said saying Madison. She yelled at him. To-to-to- some certain words. I'll get crossed like what fucks you up Like you get nervous none. It used to be nerves now. It's just if I have if it's a big word like what what's a word like Genesis

I try now I said it good was I I prepared myself Say say in a word say say in a sentence fucking real good. It just go now go the Genesis of I don't know but I can say if I think about it I can say it but if I just spit it out right I'll start it. Oh no shit. Wow. I wish you started that make you so much more That'd be awesome Do you be fucking great for us to make them the perfect crony for? What are you saying Chris? That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. It's got two fat guys in it. A full as a fat guy's going to get it. We got Louie Katz here.

Who's back by popular demand. Oh, thank you. We're really popular. We have an annual and you said, yeah. No, I'm glad to see you, buddy. Thanks for having me. It's been a minute. Yeah, it's been a minute.

Where you've been? I was on the road for a while. Yeah. I'm finally back. Good. I'll be back around for a while. Oh, I'm finally back. Good. I'll be back around for a while. Oh, good, man. Really? Winner's coming.

Yeah, yeah. Or I'll be in LA for winter, hiding out. Is that what you do? That's not a year. Well, I've done it once. I did it. I was, you know, because I'm from LA, so it was easy for me to go back there.

Really? And then I did it. And then there was like that really bad winter here, like, four years ago, and I was like, I'm not done doing this. And then I went to LA the next winter, and it it was the most the mile this winter in New York history. So I had that one. But now it also you know it also can one side with pilot season so it makes sense to be out there to audition stuff. Yeah, how's that going?

I mean my career. No, how do the pilot season go? Do you like it? I mean I've never I've never I don't know I'm just there in LA. I'm you know this whole pilot season. I mean I just think it's a fucking scam Mm-hmm. I really do. I think it's a fucking sham scam and everybody's out there I think what everybody's out there. Oh, let me introduce you because people just heard a new voice And it was dark and delicious Mike what's your last name we're seeing Mike Mike. We're seeing what you're from buddy Jersey Really yeah, all right, and you're on you're the first time on the show welcome to the YKWD

Let's let's give him what we usually give people Actually, we don't do anything so there you go I'm doing Mike from hilarious guy. What do you say? He's right here I would tell you these I, he's a horrible human being I like you're seeing last night. I went to L.O. I brought the bring him up and he goes I don't really fucking like the guy who that was on stage. He goes something fucking about him I just don't like him. It's like dirty I'm like I said he's like surface nice, but I wouldn't want to like rob a bank. Yeah But you didn't like him the comma. You didn't like him

I a bank. Yeah, but you didn't like him. The comma you didn't like him. Who was it? Godfrey? Yeah. Not at places we perform that. Yeah. Who is it? You can't tell the guys name. I'm not going to say the guys name. Oh, so you're not fucking that balls. Yeah. Yeah. We're not rats. And we have of course monster voice aka. Dan Soda aka corporate Dan very much so Robert You are fucking very very fucking corporate. I love what you don't the space I had cast is moving in a tremendous direction. Do you really oh the additions you're making? I really feel like we did it We just we just announced two new shows this year What you're gonna be huge we had Dante's the base Philip show and then we just added Sebastian and P Corielli

Which is fucking a great show. Yeah, so we do a ride cast. It's getting bigger and bigger. We have to get a new blanket It really has become an AIDS quote, hasn't it? And we have, I don't know what the fuck you are, but we'll get to you after we have the video produced. So what is your title? Technical Director? Oh, that's nice. I like that.

I like that comic and Nolan field. I like that one, yeah. I do too. I like that technical director. If you guys are digging all the new craziness, the beautiful video and the editing and the graphics and the 3D animation, this is the technical director,

Deepu Gill, what Gill was last name? I don't like that name. Deepu Wapatawa. It's a real letdown after Deepu. Yeah. People keep me much longer in the deep left. Yeah, what's up? Ron Gill sounds like a guy my dad was in Vietnam.

Like the last thing, Gill. Like, hold, Doug Gill? That son of a bitch was a psycho overseas. He used to snort coarser. Yeah. I suck. I just itch my ear. And I couldn't hear my own joke, so I flopbed it.

I went, coarser, it doesn't mean anything, sorry. I feel so good. I took abed it. I went, of course, you're a, it doesn't mean anything, so I, I feel so good. I took a shit and did it, cleaned my ears and brushed my teeth. Yeah, multitasking. That's the equivalent of you getting double teamed. That's the equivalent of you getting double teamed. You just put a fuck in, you're like,

yeah, you want that ear tip in there? You know what I'm watching on YouTube a lot? If you've seen these videos where they're going to get something out of someone's ear It's like stuffed up someone's bothering them They pull something out is little and then it's a fucking like two-inch bug I don't know it like it like I get feel satisfied who takes it out some I don't know I hope a medical professional. I don't know what the fuck is I've been stuffed up for a week dude probably a bug No dude seriously, that's my biggest fear.

You know, I had a moth flying my ear in the hampshire. And it lived there? No, hang on. It was not a fucking children's book. That's what happened. The moth and Bobby's hands. That's my rolled up. There was a man named Bobby, who had a lot of space in his head.

Oh! Is that right there? This motherfucker. Fuck, but then. very much alive it well Oh, you just made a fucking stupid joke in a mouth joke Listen Yeah, I had it I was going into the house and you know at night you have the light on outside This mouth fucking beeline in my just went directly in my ear

I'll fucking one out of a gazillion chances could happen to somebody when in my ear and I fucking throw up thinking about it. It's head was sticky. So Don had to pull. Don's laughing. Yeah, of course she's a fucking psycho from Everett. And she had to pull it out, but she was scared. She didn't like bugs. So she's fucking freaking out laughing. Oh So fucking I was in my ear and let me tell you how loud a fucking mouth is when it's in your ear drum Well, it's in the canal It's just so it's like this it's like This one sounds like oh

Man, oh, and then it would stop and you like it Fuck me up, oh, baby's in your head would stop and then all of a sudden That's where it fucks me up. Maybe you had babies in your head. It would stop and then I would say. Ah. Just like jerked off. Ah. All right, stop trying so hard, okay?

So you got two good ones. Skrupples now is just taking the shot every time he gets the ball. He's just throwing it. Yeah. He missed 100% of the shots you don't take. Yeah. How about that one?

How much a little kid who gets close to two points now he just sucks it up. Yeah, he just fucking did that joke. Let's do it again. I'm an hour. How much a little kid who gets close to two points now just sucks it up. Yeah, he just fucking did that joke. Let me do it again. I'm trying here. It's fucking more wordy. He just took a great joke with animation and a character and you made it wordy. Like I just did with my explanation of your joke.

Do you do? Have a booby. Have a booby. Do you have the same reaction to the moth in your ear is like when you broke your knee on tourgasm Was it like my yeah, there's a fucking mother my I'm just imagining you freaking out like I'm gonna Silence is what fucks me how she get it out tweezers? No, she yeah, she got a pair of tweezers and when it when she pulled it out

Yeah, she got a pair of tweezers and when it when she pulled it out Just it stopped it froze and then it went nuts Because it was panicking and it tried to go back in oh Feel good when it got pulled out. Oh, yes, but I was like that. It felt terrible. I felt lonely. I wanted it back in I never had a dad, but then all of a sudden everything came together Put it back in please That would be amazing if that's what solved our problem. What a moth in your ear shut bugs in my ear I'm like, you know what? I got like a lot of confidence. I'll hold on Wasn't there some sci-fi movie where they like that's how you could speak every language if you put like a bug in your

There will be now maybe a dream. It's a great fucking idea put the language bug in his Year I must have started that was that the worst alien voice ever No, it was just a fucking old We know what you got when When we first came to this country and we were English accent yeah, we're British people But then it switched over and we had our own little it was American Yeah, but it was sophisticated. Yeah, so we're in England. Yeah, New England like a like a Harvard guy something It was weird like a lot of the old actresses would have that they weren't English. They were American but oh darling

Yeah, please come to my house for dinner. Yeah, yeah, what the fuck is that because they were fucking rich and they had slaves They fucking told people what to do that's why you told people what I'm sorry buddy. Go ahead No, it's the first thing I was saying when you have slaves you have to talk a certain way You know so they don't get out of line Wow you are from Jersey Give him the cool me your shirt Though when you have slaves you fucking talk to the different trust me my uncle was fuck out of slaves. I don't know you know the mathematics behind this but they actually three fifth of a person.

Do you ever go to the tunnel right the fucking right there? Jesus Christ. Now let me ask you a question. What's your name? Derek. Talking to the Mike Derek. Derek, did you hear yourself? Did you hear the difference? Yeah. Talk there. Now go back. Now say your name.

Derek. Now say, go back. Now say it. See it's a difference. That's radio. That's all you need to know. What are you from, Derek? San Francisco.

San Francisco. And you're a comic, correct? No, I used to manage a club down in San Diego. Yeah, but didn't you do comedy too? Just a fan. Oh, okay. Well, you managed a insane club in San Diego. Yeah, it was the best.

Fucking, I talked to the microphone, and we went to school. Okay, ready? One of the best. Yeah. And what happened? Just wasn't a good fit. And so I moved back up to the San Francisco area

where there are lots of jobs and With comedy no, I work at a startup now a startup what so we work with Depot's getting fucking hard on right now What kind of startup I don't know would you need an advisor? This is do fucking character it's great I would you need an advisor? That's a do fucking character. It's great.

I am like a dumb, deep, and on this. There you go. That's deep, by the way, he's Indian. Well, startups. Well, startups. You look like a startup werewolf. I can feel the opportunities.

That's any look like a real way. Remember the werewolf would have a kid, like the sun werewolf? That's like wolf boy. Remember well would have a kid like the sun wear Remember with point the cover of the national choir. Yeah, we were report So so you had the club down there and it didn't happen because I've been booked back to you the way the reason why I got there No, I mean, I don't know I don't honestly can tell you what's going on out there. Sounds like you can American comedy Corporate dance step in. Yeah, please. Yeah, I plead the fifth in this case. Yeah Really want to talk about old opportunities. He's looking forward to new. That was a great club. It's a beautiful club

It's a beautiful gig. The crowds are great. The club is amazing. The hotel is phenomenal Yeah, I highly recommend anyone goes there. But I'm pretty rare to decent people who like work in comedy and don't want to do it. Yeah, don't. Yeah. Yeah, man, it is, so you got out of it. Now you're in it.

I mean, that's just weird. You loved it. Yeah, I don't know. I worked in comedy for like six, seven years. And eventually it just wasn't something I wanted to pursue anymore. Right. Crippling anxiety got to be a bit too much. Why did you have anxiety so much?

What? Comics that you liked or? Finding new shoes for Eddie Griffin every night or? Picking out the green M&Ms for the other black comedians. Yeah, you know, there's some Rose Rosanne, if I can say that, she apparently, when she went to the improv, which is where I used to work in San Jose, she had it required to have freeze-dried,

no, no, no, it was Starbucks, fresh ground coffee, and the GM at the time was just like, fuck it, she's getting safe way, freeze-dried coffee, and she couldn't even tell the difference. So it's just these Balls you move. Well here. It's a no. Here's a thing with that. That's when somebody goes look You want you be a real man and go no, we're not doing it

How about doing that? How about going, hey, we don't do that. We want you here But we're not gonna we we we're not gonna send somebody down to get your free schedule If you want that you can bring it, we'll make it. Well, we'll get you our coffee, and we'll make sure it's really, you know, but I'm not doing that. How about fucking that? You would say that to the she-devil herself. I'm not saying I would do it. I would just went and got the bitch or fuck it.

Starbucks fucking coffee. He goes in, do you like it? No, dude, I'm just saying that's fucking kind of a shitty. Because here's the thing, don't forget, we're on that end too. There might be a day where you're like, yeah, if someone says, what do you want? You go, hey, I like this. And they go, okay. And then they go behind you back.

What a fucking cunt. Then why did they ask if you wanted it? Yeah. Fuck them. Right? I took it out, Derek. Get the fuck out of you shitty club owner! You keep putting things in my head that didn't happen.

I mean, you know what I'm saying? I'm actually always full. Even fucking Eddie Griffin who requests sneakers every time. If you're gonna do it, shut the fuck up. Don't fucking bitch. If you're gonna go buy him a sneakers, shut the fuck up. You're done. Is that true? But yeah, he wants a pair every I think it's one or one Air Force ones right all white all white

Yeah, but what are you saying? That's what he wants. Okay That's where Chris scopa wants just as a nation That was last week's podcast by the way No, I think that if you're gonna complain, you don't do something and then fucking bitch about it. Just say no, we're not getting you fucking sneakers. Go get your own sneakers. We're paying you a ton of cash to do seven hours

of comedy a night. A waitress is literally gonna commit suicide. Because they fucking have to pay their babysitter's $400 when you fulfill my seat. Yeah, is he done? Oh Oh, now he wants to talk Now he's now he's talking CNN man 3 plus 9 equals 2 divided by 1 Bring you back to 3 more than fuck

Ah That was bad So I mean, but if you're gonna do it fucking you know shut the fuck up about it Yeah, don't but don't you know what I mean? It's like, and you know. You're gonna go along with the shitty request, that you can't, you don't really have the room to shoot the bottom for it. You know, how many times have you come up

where you just show up and you got a bottle of water and that's it? That's amazing. You don't even. I'm still like that. Yeah, no, but. I'm appreciative of the water. I like water, but I would also, you know,

I hate it when they go for your ride. they'll read my right a writer. You do yeah Fucking dance I'll fucking jump across this table and bite you a fucking puppet nose Bring it right now really you would jump across this table the bottom line walk around And I don't have a writer I don't have do you have a writer Louie? You would jump across this table to buy the line walk around And I don't have a writer I don't have do you have a writer Louie? Well, I think you're saying there is probably something in a standard contract, but I don't know what I would ask for I'll tell you what I want ready not Lewis Gomez It's funny

No, Louie actually I don't forget us. Um, we uh, no we I would show up at colleges, and there would be nothing. And I remember I'd ask for water, and the guy came back with a cup, and it wasn't even like a plastic cup, it was a cup from his room. Like, you know what, go fuck yourself.

So I put in weekend cup, and then he really is swinging. He goes, don't you fucking let us stop you from swinging? You keep swinging. I think it's the shirt that's giving you the confidence. So I put in what I put in, water. There's always gotta be water. And I put in a deli plate.

When I do colleges. Yeah, cause you know, you. There's no food there, you're right. You know, no food. And I don't wanna, look, there's sometimes they're nice. And you wanna come out to eat with us. And I do, but I don't know food there you're right. You know no food and I don't want to you know look There's sometimes they're nice You want to come out to you with us and I do but I don't because I'm fucking tired I got to go somewhere else tomorrow and I don't feel like spending three hours at a fucking Apple bees And I'm ordering everything you guys really get a per diem

So you get to what a one fucking appetizer and you're staring at my fucking riblets all time Then I throw you a fucking rib like your fucking dogs riblets all the time, then I throw you a fucking rib, like your fucking dogs. So I put a rider in, I have water, a deli platter, and I think that's it, and a T-shirt, I get a T-shirt from the guy. What kind of deli meat do you like? Do you have a specific kind or?

Hey, I love any kind of deli. Pursuit? Pursuit? You mean, Pursuit, though? I would have loved that a T-shirt. A Italian ballon. Yeah, that's good. M a deli is the fucking best. You know what?

You know what? Do you know what a deli is? Do you know what it is? Fucking Denver boy? No, it's probably meat. That's what we call in color. You're so fucking uncultured. You really?

You really are. Or am I pure American? Or is all the culture been washed out of me until I'm just pure red, white, and blue, baby. More to del is baloney with the fat rings of little circles of fat. And a fat's the best part to. Oh, it's so good. If you and the tech meet, it's like an illiter quality baloney though. My friend came up with a way better with a drag queen name, Mortadella Reese,

which I think is like great. That makes me know I want to eat more to deliver I'm just gonna fucking ring a fat near her fucking asshole You like that really fat asshole I would like to eat more to dela out of an asshole really it's a good meat It's an in asshole. What's the I don't know. It's maybe it's in an asshole where poop comes out They'll give you a no no no That would give you that would give you a high risk for hepe that would give you a

hepses of me street yeah wow wow i'm not there it confused me so much i let it happen there's like are there muppets i didn't understand what here's the bomb bandana and i'm gonna put it over my face wow that's the new way of doing it and when you really bought me a new trucker shot from half-cordle.

Oh my God. I was so excited about it because it was the whole alphabet. It's that path. That's Sesame Street. And it's got Sesame and Street. Two fucking sisses in it. That the fuck, man. Yeah, Louis, you like a trainee, right? No, no, I just I guess I was thinking it was a drag queen. I was thinking about more so you like guys that dress up

You don't want the tits. You just like the guy chess guy nuts. I actually forgot we were talking about a man Ask I just thought about just about You like you like that whole that much. I mean, yeah. You love, wait a minute, look at me, Louis. You love an asshole? Yeah. Do you like licking it and sucking it and fucking it? Yes. What's your favorite part of,

what's your favorite thing to do to an asshole? It's hilarious to me. Uh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll tell you when you get into the heat of passion and you're with a chick and you're Both and you're eating you're eating You're eating a pussy and then you go down to that asshole and if it doesn't stink too bad Yeah, I've gotten five fucked out so I've hardened my tongue and fucking right Yeah, I've licked out with my down. I pushin' Bobby.

I go like this. I eat pussy a very American way. I go, you done? You done? My turn. It's an African American way. I'm barely doing it. You got it actually.

Did you, I'm going to touch your pussy. The frog lick? No, no. I put my nose on the butt hole. Mike, you like eating pussy? I eat pussy with the under stomach. Yeah. He's like, I eat pussy. I eat pussy. I eat pussy with the under stomach. Yeah. The frog lick Put my nose on the butt hole Mike you like it

He's gonna be pussy with the under stomach. Yeah, he's like fucking yeah fucking do it You do you like the asshole? Yeah, sometimes yeah, yeah, you know, I recommend there's this a Steve's ice cream They make a banana cream pie ice cream What the fuck where we going? I'm just saying if you eat that of an asshole. It's fucking to you I should I Steve's is very good. How do you set that up? What do you mean? Oh? We should have dessert, but it's got to be banana. Oh

Hang on. How do you tell us they set that up? I'm her go ahead. Oh, what do you want to do now? I like rum raised me back home a pint of what what? Ice cream? Oh, I love ice cream. What kind? A banana cream pie. Why do you like banana cream pie? Well, it takes delicious out of your asshole. I don't know what it is. It's a good reveal.

I ain't gonna lie, they got me wet. That's a really dirty dog. Yeah, let's go eat some ice cream at him. I'm a butt hole. You just kind of, you know, all this stuff is like, you don't bring it up. You just be like, you bring it in the bedroom. Yeah, hang out eating and you sit you know why don't you? You know put your ass up. Do you want to become uncomfortable real quick?

Well, I put this free. The worst is gonna say ice cream on your asshole. Hey Yeah, and then you get a warm tongue on there and then So adventurous and then you get a warm tongue on there and then there's a contrast. Oh. Oh. You're so adventurous. That's how the living Brazil needs an ice cream at a buckles. Do you know real freak? You can't really catch. You're over. So, but here's the thing though is how does the ice cream stay?

Do you have to arch your back and make a bowl, like an ass hole bowl? Well, you know, you put a little, go on a dollop of it. But I thought there should be like an ass hole bowl. You put a little go. You go on a dollop. Right. What I thought there should be like an ice cream cone kind of butt plug. Right.

So you can actually have one scoop of ice cream like resting on an ass, which I think would be phenomenal. I would throw. Do you understand if I was in, if I'm tasting ice cream and I'm like, oh, so good and then I smell a hint of shit, I'm throwing up an arousal. Literally I'm gonna shoot in her ass off. I just want to fucking like if I had ice cream I just want to fucking get over with him and get high eating ice cream. What if you go like this? You get a cone in there? What if you like this? You're like oh I love the chocolate chip ice cream and she's like chocolate chip, that's vanilla, motherfucker. You want me to get one? Yeah! Yeah!

Right, just pull it out. Dude, yeah. I'll keep going. I mean, if there's any kind of like smell, you just don't even fuck with it at all. I mean, any kind of... Well, there's got to be smell, it's an asshole. It's not like there's a fucking crystal clean asshole.

Yes, there is. Are you a butt connoisseur? Yeah. What are you getting? High-end gay, guys? How are you getting such clean assholes? I'm just saying, I mean, all it takes is like one knuckle in washing and then you're clean. What, wait a minute, you wash it with your knuckle?

I don't wash, they're not assholes. I'm trusting them to wash their own assholes in that way. Somebody told me once that the asshole is self-cleaning. What? Like an oven? Yeah, it's a new G. Yeah. She's just shut my cheeks, clean it.

Dude, you got a new, she makes a noise and my voice. She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So your bottle's clean, all right? I'm gonna put my face in it. I've never had one where like, you're hooking up with a girl. Doggy's down and it does smell and you actually have to close the cheap. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Because it smells like shit. Yeah, you close the roof. I'm in one time. Close the cheeks. Keep fucking. Legits cowboy stadium. I have. Years ago I was, I used to get a massage from this lady who was on

She was massage people though on sets Yeah, they don't have this like some lady given like a chair massage, right? So she I want to get in a real massage from her and she want to suck in my dick once This is you long sexy Bob. No sexy sexy Bobby, but it was years ago and she was kind of older So it wasn't it wasn't like she was smoking hot, but she definitely wasn't Terrible, but she wasn't I mean you got him you got her dicks up by legit masseuse like real. That's I don't know if she's legit I mean she did suck my dick so she gave up that she loses She loses the legit fucking part when she put my fucking thing I piss out of in her mouth

She for fucking $60. Oh you did all right. That's the question. Well, she would, she would, she would rub my back and then at her place and then she rolled me on and then she sucked my dick one time. And I would go back to her. She'd let me come over late and I'd go over and she'd give me an awesome back rub and talk and blah, blah, blah. And then she'd fucking suck my dick again.

I got nuts one night and I, this is, Chargy, I'm gonna get killed, I'm gonna get killed for this but I'm gonna tell you, she, I don't know if I should tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you, you're up on the diving board. So, she, she, she's, give me a back rub, and she's very therapeutic about it.

The sound machine was on, she's rubbing my back, and I, and I was coming out of it. I got so sexy. I was telling her and she's like, where are you? And I was like, I'm a panther. She goes, where? I go, I want a tree. The sun is just about to go down. She's like, oh God. And I'm like, yeah, I'm just about to attack. I'm lying in my closet digging into the, she's like, tell me more. I'm like, yeah, I'm just about to attack. I'm lying in my closet digging into the, she's like, tell me more. I'm like, my, my closet about to dig in. I'm just lying there as the sun goes down

and the warming myself at the cold. And I really have to bag up your asses like this. Dude, dude, I was really, like, this is the way I was talking. Like, I was just like, and then I, and then she's like, oh, and then she started rubbing my cock and I'm like, right? It, dude, I and then she said I'm gonna rub in my cock and I'm like Right it dude. I don't know where I went. I went to another planet and I was playing this role Dude I fucking jumped off the bed and I pulled her dress up and I just stuck it in and it went in her asshole. Oh! And there was shit in it.

Oh! Oh! And then you were in a panther. Oh, damn, then you stopped doing the panther. I'm not pantherin. I'm not pantherin. I'm not pantherin. Oh, it's wrong.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Dude. Dude, I went, I went. She was like, oh, oh, like that. She knew she had a poo or something because she was like, maybe she was gonna stop it. I was like, I went, I went, she was like, oh, like that, she knew she had a poo or something because she was like, maybe not a stop, but I was like, I pulled it out, you could,

I broke a seal. Oh my God. And I fucking ran to the bathroom. I ran to the bathroom, naked, like a fucking chicken. I wasn't a panther, I could just smell that smell of shit. Oh my god. Turn into a puma. Fucking puma.

It works. It was terrible. I never went back after that because I just could, I could just always, because I associate things with smell. And every time I think of her because I associate things with smell and every time I think of her I think of that's yeah, it was really so it's Southquick. I've never had like an experience like that. That's crazy man. That might turn me off to the whole thing. Yeah, it was a bad one. I've had a couple. This is a guy that eats ice cream out of bunnies. Yeah, like a bowl, a butt bowl.

That's so crazy. Just go but you've never done a ass play. Yeah, I have really I had a really bad experience What happened I had shit on my dick from from what time sex with a girl in the ass I really got a shit and I was like I did she said it. Yeah, she's like I have to shit I was like no, you don't and then I pulled it out Just like you did girl. It's just fucking my shit on my dick and I just I was threw up on that back Back to another episode of burrow butt fucking You ain't got a poop. That's just my dick in your butt. That's the feeling I give girls it goes up so far Yeah, it's gonna hurt a lot. My dick is fat. I'm gonna be my hips. I'm gonna be made satisfied

Dude let me say is up if a chick says I think I have to shit while my digs in her ass, I'm pulling out. I'm trusting her on that. I was like 19 though, I had no idea. Should've gone through there. Yeah. It was a rip quarter. Oh, she proved it, trust me. Wow.

Was it a lot? She said I had it. It was like right on the top of my dick, yeah. I have to shit. You didn't pull out. I did, like, maybe like 10, 15 seconds later. Let me ask you a question. When you went to the bathroom, you pinched your helmet, did did like maybe like 10 15 seconds later. Let me ask you question when you went to the bathroom

You pinch your helmet did shit come out like a play-doh machine Look I may spaghetti with the shit from your asshole Did you have a condom on no wait? He said 10 to 15 seconds. This is how long 10 to 15 seconds is stop. I got a shit Yeah, she's shitting all over you I was that's that's 12 At least 27 oh I got on this button meter nobody shit right away That's not instinctual Down resports, it's straight. You got a fucking get you rap ready to go to wipe the fucking asshole. I think about some stuff Yeah, that's 13 seconds. I got 13 seconds. I don't blame. I've got I've been told that not stop and it's like really really like I just forget

This all has a rape no What do you mean she said I'm like don't you think haven't you heard we're like a like a if you're fishing a fingering girl right? I'm sorry stop stop stop stop stop. Did you you throw fisting in like we all do this? Yeah, you just casually tossed ahead. You have you know do when you fucking when you hang fucking a chick You know, I mean you get the rope when you're pile driving her off an auto man You got a hanging in a closet by a rope by her neck and you finger fucking her ass hole, you know, right? Bloodletting. Yeah, right? You have a lead you have a leech a bitch

Bloodletting you guys do that right? You have a lead you have a leech a bitch Leech a bitch is vagina What do you fish the girl? Yeah, but I'm not funny girls. Have you fished just one? I'm not doing this one Just one he got tiny hands. Why did you turn into a French guy just one? Mike is sent you will sing Why Mike is sent you will sing to the woman? It is a form of love making that your Americans look down upon, that I am blessed with my eyes cream. Because it's your fat hands?

Do not fit in most titles. You need to be a Pagy American hands, cannot fit in a vagina. Do you wear my slender fresh fingers Feast Mike have you ever did tell you to check now. You ever fuck a chicken the asshole once one time. Yeah really Javita chick says Yeah, a few times a few times. Yeah, that's fun. This is like This almost feels like he's testifying for Congress Lately in the mic. He's like, yes sir.

And yes sir. He's got a lean in the Dan every fucking time. I did a lot of buffers. Excuse me, Michael, have you ever eaten somebody's asshole? I believe so. That answer is yes. Have you ever fucked somebody in the ass, Michael? To the sip of water?

No, he pushes the mic away. According to my records, yes sir. They bring my brother in like a godfather, too What about you? Yeah It was on someone's right. I feel bad because we literally went into this whole club thing And I turned on them. I was like, yeah, fuck you. You should buy them sneakers And then and then we took, went off on the tangent. But he's one of my favorite people that I've worked at a club with

at the American Comedy Club, which is an insane club that I would love to go back to at some time. San Diego's an unbelievable city, but besides all that, have you ever fucked somebody in the ass? Yeah, recently. Really?

Yeah. He's like, I? I gotta know just now That's what it's it Just shit goes on a mic Don't even wash What went when? I would probably like a month ago Really?

What was his name? Her name was I'm not gonna say her name just on the up chance She hears this but Met her on Tinder I mean he was calling you gay She was bent over and her assholes started to... Pro laps?

Yeah. And the pro laps just wanted pops out. Oh, what's called a red sock? It was like, it just kinda... Her asshole opened up. Yeah, and I jokingly said, can I spit in there? Just because it sounded... That's always a fun joke.

You think I'm opening it? That's always a fun joke, okay? Can I spit in there just because it sounded that's always a fun joke. I'm opening it That's always a fun joke. Okay, can I spit in that home? Yes You are fun. Why did you run them the comedy club? You should have been on the stage Well, she said yes Did it drop like in a well? I just barely miss and then it just you heard it hit keys Well, I just barely missed and then it just you heard it hit keys You heard

See Louis cats his head I Fell in with the ice cream Baby Jessica's in there Revecut baby in Google at motherfuckers That's what I was looking for. That's an old fucking reference. Baby, Google Rap, motherfucker. I'll say Google Rap. Now go back to the asshole. Opened up. Yeah. But I'll open up.

Now, was there a sound? Did it open up? Like the death star. Tibetan monks. I got the knife The golden job To drink blood milk So her asshole opened up. Did you ask it a question?

Will I get a new job? Will I get a new job? Seems possible not likely not unless you spit into this dark hole I just saw your butt Yeah, hang on one second move that way stop. He's not gonna hurt you He's fucking producing the show not producer technical advisor. What are you? Tactical director. Yeah, I he's the director. A man. Yeah, I just wanted you to move over.

A magic eight ball butt plug though. That is fucking phenomenal. Like if I put it in your ass hole. Putting a whole eight ball in your ass hole. Not a whole one, but one that could tell your fortune. That's a Louis style. No, no, no, no. But it's something that could tell your fortune

and be a butt plug would be really funny. I think. Yeah, let's call the gypsy. I'm, thank you. Uh, uh, so, so you fucked your in the ass, so will she out of window? Why? Why would she bent up, sorry, girl? We'll take it back a step, so you spit on it, and then it drips in there.

Oh, it just missed. But it sound like a spittoon, did you ting? It's hilarious. Was it like a western? Mine of a spit in your ass hole. Peep. Wow, you know what? You know, I'm a little bit more distant. Mine if I spit in your asshole. Peel. Yeah.

Wow, you know, a little part for mine. I'm just. I need to get my horse a dragon. Pick myself up. These free grazers got some balls on them. If I find any silver, I'll cut you in. Mind if I give a little spit in your butthole?

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I haste to get you upstairs in this bedroom. I forgot to bring my spittoon. Mind if I spit in your butt? Well, so she bends over on a bed, I would imagine, right? She's in doggy position. Her asshole opens up. Now does it open up and there's still pink, or does it open up into darkness? Dark, dark, oh my God.

That means she was empty inside. Okay, so her asshole opens up into darkness and then you go do mine if I spit in it. And she says what? Go ahead. Cause I didn't open it for no reason, dumb dumb. Yeah, you clear, of course. I'm gonna go and shoot a garage,

like a parking garage door and she hits it. It's like, you're in there. You're in there. You're in there. Can I spit in your asshole? How do you think your fist is gonna fit in? Of course. So you spit in her asshole, you hear anything? It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, I Did you hear me in the background? So you so you then you stuck you dick in yeah, okay now you spinning it did you really need to spin it when she opened it that big

It was just you've never seen such a gaping hole. Okay. There's a reason that word exists. Wow, okay, so our hole was gaping. Wow, gaping butthole. Wow, so she's been fucked before. Oh, yeah. This was her first time. Now,

I'm an animal can open their own butthole. Did you, when you put it in a butthole, did air flop out? They flop. No, it was surprisingly uncomfortably tight. Oh really, so it was tight. So she locked it back up on your cock. I would think so.

She knows that the controller asshole muscles. Wow, wow, that is cool. Look, a manatee pussy, right? So you got that manatee one. So then you're fucking her and then what happened? Shake it on your dick? No, she just told me to stick it in the other hole. So you went from, you went, ask, watch it off first. Yeah, alright. Yeah, that's not it. Yeah, you don't want to fucking, that's how fucking that she's clean. I am glad she's not careful. Yeah, she's clean. She's clearly got a room. Yeah. So you had to go wash your day. You should have tippy toe to a fucking

sink. Yeah. And wash your dick and a sink. That's not called you soap. I just washed it off. So, did you did you did you all? Did you fuck him like that comedy club and just fucking yeah, I washed it and just fucking watch it up with some toilet paper No, I mean I give it a good scrubbing give it a nice scrub and then you went back in stuck in the push-puss. Yeah, and then what? You know you know those girls that like asked him out. That's a thing. They don't like it. They do no way Haps a fucking No, wow. Yeah, I know a girl that we call there that ATM Really? Wow, yeah, I knew a girl that we called her that ATM Really yeah, there's a name ATM. Yeah, then she jumped off a bridge because you found out we had a nickname for her a lot of damage mentally

She was my friend sister. She dead. That's when my hips are so big. I just can't lose the hips Hey grown up a queen still a bit different than everyone else So guys get girls jump it off the George Washington bridge. I like what's the chat room doing? We got anybody in the chat? When they were talking about when you guys were talking about the assholes, Kevin Larry says it's like holding a C shell up to your ear. You can hear the ocean. That's pretty funny. What else? A rancid void, Kevin Vosperic says I'll ask that's all ass talk

Um, I have his listen to the show I like that fucking he always downplays the fucking chat. It's just ass talk keep reading That's a bit that's about it for now. No keep reading I said okay We got some guys tweeting at us watching it live. So if you want to say oh really there you go Oh, well, that's actually fucking Alright, that's actually fucking right that's pretty cool what else you got anything else what's the latest what's the latest one in the chat uh Kevin Vosperic says purple sock that's the answer the answer you got to pull up the I'd throw up if that happened it I've had some crazy shit happening I had to grow discharge on my

dick once that's that's that means all the stuff in a vagina, like empties out on your dick. Squirting. That happens? It's not, I guess it's kind of like squirting, but it's like, there's some coffee ground type material. Kinda, she's, like a kinda, she's got it. It's more like, it's fucking this guy.

Coffee ground? Man, there's a lot of stuff up in a veg. What the fuck? I know, dude, I don't know what to tell you. It sounds like a miscarriage. That's where my gag thing, you know, I puke easy. That's where it came from. When I was younger, we used to bang this broad,

like that. We're talking about one on the bus. She wasn't retarded. She was fucking mentally ill. She was the one that you made it weight outside. You made her weight outside. No, that was another one. That was another retarded one.

Back, she wasn't retarded either. She was just fucking like a weird chick. She was just a weird chick to follow me home. But, none of them were retarded. I'm not gonna really fucking retarded person, a mentally ill person. They would just, you know, one chick would just fuck everybody.

She was like 30 something. She had a great body too. Awesome titties. Was she discharged? And she dished, like my friends fucked her. They were on a bus and they fucked her. And they're like, you turn. And I was like, okay, and I was like the youngest one.

So I started fucking her and she just discharged. I'm like, what kind of bus, like school bus? Oh, it was an abandoned school bus. Oh, that's, that's, I do it. I threw up. So it was in my pubes. And it came out like someone turned on a, like a a like a tub faucet, you know like heavy that Yeah, I just came out. This is a thing though this discharge. Yeah, it's a thing dude. Fucking octopus. She fucking

I don't know She was You have to throw up on your own dick. Yeah, she was a... The act of sluts in the wild has its own way everywhere. It was fucking disgusting. It was so fucking gross, man. That's horrible. And that's who I throw up at shit. I'm getting better with it now as I get older

because I'm gonna kid help to with that, the baby shit, and things don't gross me out as much. But that's where my thing with like assholes, like I fucking puke with that shit. And I fucked, yeah, what's that? Well, I'm just saying I haven't had any of these kind of experiences. So maybe I'd be more squeamish

if something horrible like that happened, but I've had like good luck, I guess. Yeah, you've had the asshole good luck. And apparently there's discharge. I mean, I've never had any kind of discharge. Your asshole prosper. My friend had his check. Walker, his girl he was dating this yet discharge.

And he used to tell me he's the grossest shit, but it was his girlfriend, so you really couldn't, what are you gonna do? Was it like, is it like green? So was it like, I don't know. It's like, no, it's clear. It's like, it's, it's, it's, oh, it's squirting. It's all good.

Nah, dude, it's not, it's not hurt coming good. It was, there's other shit, Google it, Google it. All right. Now Google discharge man, it's fucking nasty. It's a, and it went into my pubes. So some of it was, it looked like my dick was in the ocean, like I dipped it in the ocean and I pulled it back up and it was a fishing net.

There's a couple fucking haddock, some fucking shrimp. You know what I mean? Like a couple jellyfish just holding on. Yeah, I was fucking gross. Anyways, real quick, if you guys listen, a millionaires of being made all season long, at draftkings.com. A merc is favorite one week fantasy football site.

One week fantasy football means, you know what I mean? There's no, it's a new season every week. Every week is like a new season. You son of a bitch is who love this fantasy football. You don't have to do it for the whole month. Pick your team in minutes and you could be on your way to winning.

Huge cash. One listener turned 10 bucks into five grand. Another turned two dollars into 10 grand. And a new millionaires has been crowned nearly every week this season at DraftKings.com. It's incredible. Every week they have a million dollar thing going on and people are winning this money, man.

So if you are into fantasy football, you need to go to DraftKings.com. It's one week fantasy football. It's unbelievable go to DraftKings.com. It's one week fantasy football. It's unbelievable. They're a big sponsor of the show and a lot of people have been going to them and here's what you do. Get a free entry into their $100,000 fantasy football contest this weekend where first place takes on 10 grand, head to DraftKings.com now. And enter promo code Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y,

to play for free, DraftKings.com, bigger events, bigger winning winners, and bigger millionaires, enter Kelly for free entry now at DraftKings.com, that's DraftKings.com. And of course, Amazon, Amazon, go to Amazon link on YKWD. And I'm just announcing real quick that I'm putting together a fundraiser, me and my wife is actually starting

doing all the groundwork for it, but here at YKWD and all the people on it and hopefully all the fans listening, we're gonna be raising money, not money, we're gonna be buying toys for our kids. And not just kid little kids, kids in foster homes, kids who have been sexually and physically abused. I'm gonna be giving out more details,

we're gonna be giving you an address, we're gonna be giving you a list of stuff you can buy. It's not just little kids, there's a lot of teenage boys and girls, especially boys need a lot of stuff boys and girls, especially boys need a lot of stuff. Headphones, shoes, electronics, best buy gift sticks, they're in foster homes, their families, whatever happened.

And you guys know that I've been in foster homes. And let me tell you something. If they showed up on Christmas with a bunch of shit that I needed, I would have been a happy camper. Because a lot of times these kids who have been abused on Christmas, well everybody's watching, you know, the Santa Claus movies and getting whatever the fuck they want, these guys don't have shit. They were on old clothes, hand me down, bullshit. So we're putting that together.

We're going to be putting it on the Ryakass page and on my website. So please, when it comes out, I need you to spread the word and buy something and send it to the address and It's gonna be awesome. So and what else anything else? tweet Oh, yeah, tweaked audio.com. We're gonna try to get them involved too for unbelievable headphones I actually gotta buy some today I'm gonna they're inexpensive. They're great headphones and I lose this shit all the time I break my headphones, I step on them.

You know, and you buy the ones at Apple, which are awesome, but they're 40 bucks. Go to twic.io.com, you get 33% off if you enter the code word, what dude? Dude, and free shipping and lifetime limited warranty. Twic.io.com, great headphones at a great price, Mike, non-Mike, different colors. Go there now, they're a great gift for the holiday season,

inexpensive, and you get 33% off. That's almost half. We'll see if they can donate some stuff to this cause too. The YKWD gift giveaway. So that's it, right? You have a foster home you're kind of bringing them to or just everyone on. We have an actual organization, So that's it, right? So you have a foster home you're kind of bringing to or just everyone?

We have an actual organization which I'm going to announce when we, when everything's ready because I don't want people to go to it now, that handles this. And we're teaming up with them. And we have a PO box and we're going to have a place you can ship it. And you buy toys, they have to be unwrapped and brand new. And and we're gonna give you a list of stuff so we'll make it easy so you know you can pick what you want but then again you know I want to let you know that you know older teenage boys are the ones that usually get left out because everybody wants to go buy a kid gift you know hey I'll go buy a little toy for five bucks but you know these these teenagers but we're gonna have

stuff we're not gonna they go buy it you don't have to figure it out. There's gonna be a list of stuff that you can buy for these people, so for these kids, these kids that need it, so it's gonna be awesome. And all right, we're back. No break, I wanna just keep going. So we're done, so anyways, I think we're moving on from the ass holeness.

Right, you cool with that? Yeah, yeah. Dan, this is a funny part about the whole story though. When we open up, like I open up, Louis, you are fucking so open about sex. I mean, you blow my mind. You look like you read books, you masturbate in the secret, and you slept with fucking one Jewish girl in high school.

But you. Family friend's daughter. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, just some fucking, you know, some girl Sherry from Sharon Massachusetts. You know what I mean? Eliza had a wonderful time with you at prom. She said things got a little carried away at the K-Powse.

We think you two kids are almost adults, so we trust with what you, you know, hopefully you get a connection. I wouldn't trust this fucking kid with my mother. You two kids are almost adults, so we trust with what you, you know, hopefully you get a reaction. I wouldn't trust this fucking kid with my mother. I guaranteed to walk out of the finger pop and store with my mom. Do you mind, I got drunk, I stuck my fingers and I just want to smell not bad, so you should be proud of your mother.

That's the way she take from this, not that I finger fucked your mother on a bench. But and Mike, you seem to be very open to. I don't know you. And I forget your name. Derek. Derek yes. Derek you're very open. Scope all your open.

You know it's not open. Fucking. No, Dan fucking soda. I'm open. What do you got? Do you get any asshole stories? I don't fuck. I don't fuck.

I don't fuck. I don't fuck. He has a really doesn't ask. He just does everyone's fucking. And you're great at the voices, but. money voices. He really doesn't ask. He just does everyone's fucking best. You're great at the voices, but. I've eaten butt, but I've never fucked butt. You've never fucked a chicken the ass.

You're not freaky. You got a whole bit about how you're not like you got low libido, right? But this, yeah, but Bobby doesn't believe me. What, I don't know standard. It's not an American. I'm a fucking man in his plane. You're American. I'm a marion man.

I like my sex on top of the woman with her face in me So I can see what's going on in her simple brain I like to do it for procreation or practice for procreation I believe lust is devils tool and I believe in every war we fight as a just war Devils tool and I believe in every war we fight as a just war and that our politicians know our best interests and Are putting them for is another voice you just messed it with though. It's not about it But seriously, I like little Indonesian girls Bamboo shoots in my toenails is I come in their hair Come it into there. I like to slice my dick vein. Well, I come

No, I'm not a I think I don't I haven't fucked butt, but I've ate it. I eat butt. Like I said, when I eat pussy, I put my nose on the butt hole. Say show you love somebody. Yeah. I like how we're back to talking about assholes. And I was like, we should move on. I just, I, I, I rack war.

I rack war. I bet no, because you, you are a plain jane, I guess, when it comes to that. I mean, I rack war I rack But no that because you you are a plane Jane I guess when it comes to Really, I mean I'm not saying that you should give a fucking on a sand I got my dick certain Closets like bar closets. I've done like shit like that. But what's a bar closet? I when I did a Veter show a couple years ago What do you? Veter show a couple years ago. There was a very promiscuous bartender. Oh, yeah, blown in the-

I can't even find a fucking bathroom in half these places. How do you find a closet? I don't know. She pulled me in the closet and blew me. It was pretty awesome. The one behind the bar. She works there. The crazy one from like four years.

The one behind the bar. It's in the main room beyond the bathroom. She worked there? Yeah. So she like did like a hand motion. Well, first she did like a thing like fake flash or titties. Yeah, I was drunk and I was like, don't fake flash or titties. And she's like coming to kitchen with me.

And then she showed me her titties. I was like, that's amazing. Right. And then she was hot. Batch it nuts. Yeah. And then she went, wait a minute, the girl who sucked your dick in a closet is nuts. Well, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was fuck out of here and I was hoping I can't believe that I was thinking about Mary

I want a sucky dick at work. Oh That's what a dirty dog don't fuck with me coming the kitchen. I'm gonna show you my tits. I have a very I'm a very showtime freaky very cinematics freaky. It's a crazy red tube But it's you know it can give some people some bones We're tossing out some pretty simple boners. Yeah, see you know, it's not like we don't show me fuck retards on buses Thank you Michael Thank you for fucking seeing the truth you listen You're the fucking mentally

I used to get my dick sucked for classic rock CDs behind an auto zone in Tucson Normal shit for classic rock CDs behind an auto zone in Tucson. Wait, wait, I ain't no normal shit. That was super American though. We did like all the Americans. He must American things. You used to pay them in classic rock CDs. No, this lady that used to blow me, I used to give her like classic rock albums.

Like name one. Yeah, like anthrax. That's classic rock. I'm sorry, in my world it is. That's air metal, that goes beyond, that's before grunge. It's fucking classic rock. I'm sorry, my world it is. That's air metal, that goes beyond, that's before grunge. It's fucking classic metal, it's not classic rock. Classic metal then. I gave her a classic metal, new metal.

Now new metal is like, we can limp this shit. Yeah, yeah. Classic metal albums. What other ones, do you remember the other albums? Yeah, what's another? I gave her a docking album. You got the adick set for docking? None of these are classic rock and rock. Dude, I wouldn't it about? I gave her a docking album. You got the adicts set for docking? None of these are classic rockin' albums.

Dude, I wouldn't even fucking look a nut for a docking album. Classic rock and black. Black, gross. Steely Dan. There was some, there wasn't, there was a Steve Miller band album that I gave her. That's cool. Really? Yes, I used to just go into classic rock, then you then just take like a handful of CDs,

and she blow me in a big pick one. And like, you get to pick another one next time. But you're homeless, sir. And she blow me in a big pick one. And like, you get to pick another one next time. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Traumas is worse than retard. You know that right? Yeah, yeah first of all wait a second Michael I didn't wait number stop. I didn't she wasn't retarded. Yeah, I know. She just was not all there There was just a mentally ill it she was just wasn't like us like me. Yeah, no, no, okay Well, you fucked the homeless girl. I had a relationship with Technically she's not homeless if you're dating her and you take her home She's she's home well she lives with you. I mean it was like a long distance. Did she have a dog or a cow? I was in a long distance with a homeless person

Because you're inside she's outside She gave her who's a long walk from the woods I'm gonna put you back under that bridge Hey, is there any way you can hitchhike tonight? I'm a little tired Next let me eat your homeless asshole. I'm gonna put you back on the streets. Are my dog coming? Your dog can't watch me eat ice cream out your dog. Hey, listen, I just borrowed a couple of nickels out of your cans. If you're not gonna eat all that ice cream, can you save some for me?

I can sell it. I always feel so bad for those dogs, those homeless dogs. No most of the time they're drugged. I just read this on the internet. I don't believe that. I just read this from the New York Times, they put an article out. You know those ladies that are holding babies that are asking for change?

You know there's a Romanian community in Jersey that lets those women borrow those kids and those kids most of the time are drugged up. So if you see that in the subway, go get a cop because they know that shit's going on Okay, there's a lady with a kid because a lot of times the kids don't look like the ladies Wait a minute you need change. How are you gonna get the kid to stay still unless you drug it? Yeah, right? That's true and I'm not getting it. You think I'm getting involved with that. I'm gonna go get a excuse me officer And I'm I just I just I'll just I haven't done it yet yet but I'm just gonna let him know if you see it and you see a

copy telecop it's really hard to say to a kid help mommy beg for change so well they're not even their kids they drug them up and they give them to them they hold them for like five hours so it's a baby it's like babies to toddler that's a fucking horrible no this is don't nobody listen and please don't don't fucking do this because they're gonna be in center of potter see some Haitian lady with a white baby and call the cops I'm not No

So gotty and gotty what baby my butt yeah bad my so no but on the subway man i was felt bad i'm like oh this fucking lady's got a baby i gotta give her change and then i read your time's article and it's like yeah i want to go back to one second with this that's a whole

of this topic i need to i need to find it where did you meet this homeless lady? She wasn't a homeless when when the relationship started and she's She was like, you know like kind of one of those gutter punks, but like yeah, oh So I'm better in Portland and at the time she wasn't homeless, but as things progressed she ended up homeless. I remember this Yeah, I've told you the story before I used to like talk about this more and yeah, but she's a She's still out there somewhere She's walking around like Bruce Banner. She does.

She's probably like, she's like hops trains and like just travels all over. That's fucking crazy. She probably hang on in here. What was crazy tough? Let me ask you question. So you met her, you met her on the streets? I met her.

You were coming home one night. You saw her under a box. I didn't imagine he was like Brian Denne. And she's like, Sylvester Stallone in first blood. He's like, get in. I'll buy you a box. I just imagine he's like Brian Denny and she's like Sylvester Stallone in first blood. He's like, get in. I'll buy you a sandwich. I'm just going over that bridge over there. Back it in. I'll drive you. You brought it to an island where you hunt homeless girls. You and all you fucking redneck friends. The most fun game is human game. What what what so how did you I'm in Portland for the night?

I was doing gigs. I'm crashing my friend's house. Okay, he want to hook up with the girl so he let me his car And I'm it's Portland like on a Sunday, which is not a lot open late So I pull up outside of this the only thing that's open is try one place closed on a place close This p to pit is the only place it's open right? I know p to pit. Yeah, love p to pit So I pull up and I see all these fucking gutter punk kids to now front I'm like, oh these fuck kids are gonna hit me up for change. It's so annoying. I'm just fucking starving. You say gutter punk Yeah, Julie Annie. He does okay You know what I'm talking about the Italian thing you've ever said. I don't know

It's great. They need a Julia. I don't know what a gutter Heron addicts like those homeless kids that put all the tats and the patches and shit like that I don't know they're called gutterparks. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, I just keep the killing now. Is it good? No, yeah, they're okay. So you see this. I see them. I'm like, oh, they're gonna hassle me then they go inside They're working at the pita pit and one of them is this beautiful like crazy beautiful woman And you know, you're always like, oh, I hope the hot girl serves me like why you're not gonna talk to her nothing's gonna happen But she starts talking to me and then then, I tell her, she just smelled that you at home. She needed a shower.

She's like, you remind me of Inside. Well, my dream, she had a job, and she was not, she was good with money. She could take my $50 and make it into a hundred. If only. Yeah. So she's like, I'm telling her like, I'm touring, I'm trying to make it sound cool, I'm touring, I'm doing comedy, she's like, I'm telling her like I'm touring,

I'm trying to make it sound cool, I'm touring, I'm doing comedy. She's like, I like to travel too, I used to hop trains. Oh, I hop trains all the time. Oh, then so funny, because when I first saw you, I thought you were homeless, and that was my line for picking her up, was telling her she looked homeless. Then she blanked twice in a tear fell. As a matter of fact, I am.

Well, at the time she was staying with her aunt and then later on. That's not homeless. As the relationship developed, she ended up being homeless. So you didn't, you didn't, you didn't, you, you, you, you, you, you, she, like, hey, remember that thing you said to me the first time? Well, it's true. Well, you, you on the couch, why are you knuckles so dirty? Yeah.

I slept. I slept. What did it smell like you fucking slept on a vent? It, it's a very long complicated story, but she ends up, what do you, I'm, I'm, I'm, I slept it smell like you fucking slept on a vent It's a very long complicated story, but she ends up what do you dry jizz on your chin? She's like I try to get the walls to stop talking about me. She What happened really it's like a long she's not gonna hear it. She's homeless. She doesn't have a fucking I think she I think she's homeed up right now She's homeed up. Yeah, phone

Talk to her still yeah from time at time. I'm for this is the crazy thing Like this is a thing I keep talking about with like You know you talk to girls you hook up with and you want to see him for a long time and the end of keeping in touch They're like it's it's meant to be it's a kind of magic note, Facebook. It's just fucking Facebook. That's why I can still touch with someone who I should not even know where they are anymore. Right.

But every once in a while, I do hear from her and we do catch up. She's sending you a photo of her under a bridge. I'm gonna show you a photo and you can't, can I show this to you but not on the thing? Yeah, just don't put it in front of a camera. Just hand it a scope and he'll hand it to me.

I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna show you the one where she's looking the toughest with her latest boyfriend. Can you show me the one with she's got like the the carriage full of cans. She has do you know you can actually get a lot of vitamins off chicken bones. Hey that'd be a fucking great calendar homeless hot chicks. Oh the hot yeah the homeless of Portland. You just have like this is Debbie she lives in a well. Yeah, it's some naked chick a hot blonde coming out of a garbage can Don't throw away your dinner save it for Chelsea Shelby dumpster down

Southeast Portland Vanessa loves how many pitches of homeless girls do you have you creep? I don't want to kill these women? Do you just keep them as like, do you refer to them off air as your collection? Yeah. I was thought I was anti, I was thought I was anti-dumpster diving but it's all some people doing it the other night and they were pulling some good stuff.

What, what were they pulling out? They were union market on Houston and Avenue A. What were they pulling out? Buck Choi, what were they pulling out? Yeah, stuff like that. Yeah, vegetables and you know. You can get scrap metal, you can sell scrap metal and stuff like that. Yeah vegetables and you know, you can get certain scrap metal You could sell scrap metal stuff like that. Oh Jesus

He took it immediately blue collar. I love Listening's like there's some bok choy. There's maybe some good vegetables He's like, you know, you can get a bump with down So you know much fucking Hey dang how much coppers going for these days? Pro strip it you sell it down you make a lot of money, ball. Coppers like 270 a pound. Jesus Christ.

Is it really? Yeah. It is. A lot of people fucking go into people's homes and steal. No, yeah, they steal, like we do like sanitation jobs and we clean out houses and then just people come up and try to take the metal, anything like that cardboard, they'll go at like a aluminum is like 40 cents a pound.

Yeah, if there's a vacant house, these people will fucking go in and rip all the pipes and copper out of the walls. Well, brass is like a buck 65 a pound. How the fuck do you know that? Did you get started on your own service where you take down fucking houses? The brass is fucking.

It's going to sanitation, it's coming out. That's a good picture. Dude, watch out. Just damn No, we didn't but you be careful not us. Oh, but she's like ethnic or something. I can see it I can see it. I can see it. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding don't do that. I'm sorry Literally I was scary Mike what the fuck is wrong? Yeah, we're a video show you her with her I will I will use the technical director

Come on, I'm gonna get what's up there. Let me see it is hot, but she's dangerous I'm gonna say let me see let me see let me tell you right now. Oh shit You get like fucking Do it. That's your profile. No, those pictures on my phone. Do you know all these chicks? It's the same chick Do that's your profile. I don't know those pictures on my phone. Do you know all these chicks? It's the same chick This is the same chick. She's looks different cuz she's a yeah, she's really hot, but she's dude. She's she's dangerous Let me show you dangerous one you fucker. I see the dangerous what you fucked her We were like dating for it. She didn't have a house. Yeah, how does she not have a fucking? Oh, I check without a house can't say something

I always ask when they have a drug. Sometimes they end up with that house. Oh, she was a heron addict. Really? So that's always fucking a risk. Do you like roulette, too? Do you like a nice craps game? With all your fucking money you do to gig? Here's an idea. I like to find a beautiful one.

With a dependent drug habit. One that I could get AIDS from. I wanted to be risky. This is her in her last boyfriend. How scary is that? Let me see let me see let me see that's like a bad scene from Troubles. Yes, I know Don't show the camera dude. This motherfucker here. I think it white boy day Yeah, I want to show the camera just to teach you a lesson. Dude, are you out of your... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha They were on the road. They were stopping in his home. That was the house that the family they just killed and murdered. We fucked in their blood.

Like. I sucked the husband dick while I fucking murdered his wife. And then skis, my boyfriend slaughtered the wife. Yeah, pregnant. While he was eating the little girls with a giant asshole. Those pigs deserved to die. Oh god. Hey, Lily.

Saw you just did a show. I just show go. I was bathing in the blood of the innocent. Hey, Lily, we're gonna stop by if you're gonna be around. I really feel like we left off on the wrong foot. Anyways, Cypher wants to talk to you. Cypher! He just got a drug shipment from Tijuana. Yeah, definitely. I love that they have assault rifles in a picture. Yeah, her ex actually had a name like that. I wish I was going to stay here. It's always, I did put a little bit of scumbags like that.

You know what he was? He was the fucking, he was that little bump in the middle of her life, which he goes, I shouldn't date these guys anymore. I should just date the nice guy. And then this guy walked in, this guy walked in and goes, hey, can I get a chicken wrap? Can I get that on wheat do you have wheat? Something soft and warm that I'm gonna trust

Regardless of what it does Train hopping That's so cute you train hopped I murdered for heroin I killed him. I've sucked dogs off to get drugs. Why you end up you into that type of porn? Have you watched it? I haven't watched it. I've watched it. What I've watched it. I've watched it. I'm not a dog. Yeah, you can't see it. Have you jerked off to it? No, I don't think so. You don't think so. That means yeah. I think it's so long.

Do you remember what like it was more that was more like low-wing you could you see crazy shit on the internet like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it's more like it I seen that one The dude getting his dick stuck by fish what else is What I didn't see that one what about the gay guy or the guy getting killed by the horse? I've we've all seen that yeah, that's sad That's just sad cuz that's just that's just a miscalculation You know what I mean like I played the guy pure natural power that was what though there was a guy The fucking guy who was holding the fucking He was his job was to hold the cock and he slipped up. Yeah, well if you get a cock spot You're gonna make sure the cock spot his hands can wrap around the cock and also has the strength of a horse

That's what you have to stop. I don't have fucking centaur strength Besides the fucking powerful. Hey, but you put yourself in that position That's what you have to stop. I don't have fucking centaur strength. Who's besides the fucking powerful, hey, but you put yourself in that position. I have. Is the friend trying to help a friend? It's the saddest part of that video is when you see the guy's hand slip off.

God damn it. And then the horse, but the horse realizes he went, I'm free. And he fucking hinged up and then went the cow Yeah, that death blow you didn't even hear out though. That's what bothered me. You didn't you heard Well, he made the noise you see him die. I mean pretty much you see the you see the death blow get struck Here is the horse nut in him No, I don't know you part what he never seen the video I don't know pregnant with butt babies from a horse

And the horse was bigger than That's how he died He had a cult come out of his fucking mouth But it is it is funny how quick animals big animals come when you see animals Let me let me finish When you see animals fuck it's literally they get on and they fucking Bang bang They can't do multiplication they can't do multiplication.

They can't do multiplication tables in the head. Okay, anything. You know guys, that was gonna be just outside. Just outside that hit the fucking guy in the head. That was him hitting the pigeon. That was like when rainy Johnson hit the pigeon with the... Yeah, when they, like you see these animals fuck and it's a couple it's a couple pumps because it's dangerous to fuck another big animal Do female animals come at all?

Oh, that's a good question. I don't know that's a fucking great question We need to sign this or just like a dolly female dog. Oh, how about this? How about this? How about an Indian on a computer? Maker. How about that? My uh, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, he's producing. How can I help you, Michael? I remember when the internet first came out, my buddy used to, oh, like show like... Jerk off on your chest. You lay there and enjoy it. He showed us a video of a chick sucking off a horse. Yeah, like a horse load. Oh, it's great. It's huge. Yeah, it's like... It's a horse load. It's funny. It's. Oh, it's great. Yeah, it's a horse load. It's it's funny. How's it? It's so big. It's funny I think you're hitting someone with a powerful pose

But then the video that fucked us up was there either a video of a guy fisting his girlfriend's asshole Like that What happened on my creepy Jewish friends? What is it? What is it? What is it? Know about that. Yeah, so it's a lady laying on her shoulders with her angles overhead Mm-hmm, and a guy's got two surgical gloves on and he's fisting her butt going but he's going one hand in a time It's good I'm almost there. I'm almost there and then he goes whoosh like that both hands But here's the crazy Rooosh, like that, both hands are chillin' AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Get both your hands in there stupid What a calm. Oh, it's irritating We'll be a little bit

Keith Dean double-fisted is the crazy I'm a lawyer, can't be said. Keith Dean double-fisted is the crazy one. I'm almost mad. I'm a bald woman. I'm both hands, you dumbass. That's done enough, get a friend. Yeah. Ah.

Dude, whoever finds this video, the guy maintains an erection with a condom on, which I find to be the most person. Yeah, really. Yeah, he's got both hands in his cruse asshole. He's still fucking 12 o'clock. I would fucking throw up, dude. I would throw the fuck up if a chick,

if that's the only way a chick could come. You're gonna, no. No, I like the taste. I hate that ass. I hate that fisting is gross. I wouldn't fist an asshole, that's true. Yeah, but even fisting a pussy is like, that's fucking gross.

How is it awesome? It's awesome. It's disgusting. Yeah, in a fisting a pussy is like that's fucking awesome. It's awesome It's disgusting. Yeah, in a magical you made your hand disappear away. It's just it's I don't to me I don't know why I think it's hot. I just think it's like it's disgusting. I think it's gross I think it's gross because I think it's gross because I don't the fact that you have to get over the the fucking the four knuckles I got a small hand Were you this or were you this I know what I'm doing I'm not an asshole Yeah, he's not just he's not fucking rocky five in your box You're a

Listen first of all you to when he gets in there he makes a fist Did you like a man? We think no, I was just like this like that. What's what is that called? Hand it that's called the hand-puppeting Drink water. Is she saying a song? Now that's a mystery right there I just put my hand up to the camera for eight seconds and deep who never went to it. All right good. We're on the fucking same page Listen, I still not doing it. Okay, fucking here.

Take that. I can never fish somebody. I don't like it. I think it's just a dick sugar going there. You're not supposed to stick a fucking arm up somebody's body. Dude, but if you go in, how far do you go in? I was like, it was like that. That's a lot of hands That's a lot of hand dude. That's a big pussy

That's a real you made it that way you like fucking you you forged her pussy Where she's size queen? No, so she is your dick you get a big dick low. It's decent Yeah, you probably got a big piece you got a big pace You can just tell by the way you carry himself and the freaky shit is in you Well, yeah, dude I could if I put my hand in a chick's pussy and then put my dick in she'd be like what what are we gonna fuck? I'm like where you we are I got fucking bear paws. Yeah, you have fucking hands Well, no, I mean that's they have kids right it's elastic right it goes back

Yeah, but not that nice You get a fucking a kegel machine and it takes eight months. Yeah, no, they have to pray to a certain angel To a certain saint Yeah, say Dominic Please return my business. Have you ever fished with somebody Mike? No, I told you no What about you D. Pooh? Have you ever never been in an asshole girlfriend wants to try it? So I'm excited for that. I just say something about Ferguson. Can we do it on the show?

Can we do that on the show? Can we my first anal Yeah, yeah, I mean I'll have to ask her but yeah, it's the unsexiest web Oh, this is what it is. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Is she Indian? Indian yep, wow is that like a thing with your parents? What I asked fucking you lots of Fucking rude man you got to ask her what kind of Indian are you? The new kind yeah, no like do your parents stress it? Are they like dating? No, they were just prefer it

They'll be like you talk about it fucking the ass or dating and in both both all the April if you take one thing away I want you to always fucking the bat No, baby It's pure logic Now go dating Indian girl and good luck putting two and two together. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Completely in the asshole. Well, it is, you know, I was realizing it's that I'm like, and do it, but maybe I'm more, I'm also more into like, maybe like, porno. Like in real life, there's complications as we've discussed.

Yeah, poo. Yeah, and that is a complex. I'm gonna get dick. I'm gonna get dick, all that, that's fun. I'm not rich enough to, for anal sex, cause I don't have enough sets of sheets. Like I just go through, you know. Yeah, and you're fucking, you're,

you're actually, your diet is awful too. You know what I mean? It's not like you guys are eating fucking high-end fish and Vegetables, you know the chicks you're fucking a homeless. They're eating beans out of a can She's like I had some crow I'm gonna fuck me in my dumper Give me some shelter you can do whatever you want to my daughter me and my dog have the same lunch Give me some shelter. You can do whatever you want to my bottom me my dog at the same lunch You want to fuck my ass or his my last boyfriend razor put me out on the street

But he used to fuck my butt when I was sleeping so I guess I'll take a roll to die with you I think is going all over the place. Is it was it stalling or something? Yeah, we're trying a new program here So it's kind of stuttering a little bit, but it's fine. It's working pretty smoothly. No, it's actually not I've been staring at it and it's fucking it's driving me nuts. Yeah, I know it's it's frustrating me too, but okay All right, I love your positive take on this though. No, it is fine. It's okay Yeah, we apologize who's in the chat room. What's the chat? We're saying let's go to a real quick depot and don't say no No, we got a bunch of stuff lined up. Let's do it it. Yeah mega tech guy says Kelly had to die for this show to live Oh wow

Fuck me what the fuck is wrong with you dude? Tyler nor Cal says that's how cheap Louis Katz is he had he had a long distance relationship with a homeless person Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. No don't get it. I don't get it, but I like it. Save somebody, maybe? I had to fly her places. You flew a homeless person? What are you? I flew her here. You brought her to bar four. She was like, what is this air?

No, I didn't tell her. I didn't know. Did you hear fucking Scott Bono's ago? And he goes, what is this airplane thing they speak of? She's not from the jungle. She's a fucking homeless person from America. She knows what plays are. So, she usually sleeps where they take off.

She had a blow away across the country to come hang with you for a weekend. She's like, how did I get here? Wow, I think you better not know. How about this, how did I get here? Was that smell like it? Slacer. There's some very satisfied railroad conductors. I just blew a guy in a yellow Peter built to get here

yeah okay obscure I what else you got Tyler no Cal says Dan's head and voice take all the testosterone out of his nut sack it's funny yeah would explain a lot I did yeah I get it all these because I don't want to go ask the mouth yeah that's that's sure. Okay. I get it. What else we got? Oh, that's better for now. Okay, you sure? Yeah, do I have to make you go further? We got any more sweet. Give me one more. Give me one more mega tech guy says yay No, not that one you know the one I want the other one. I'm just Jim. Yeah, that's a guy

I wish just jam was here. I would have fucking love it. Leslie Lowry says Lewis or is it Louis? Louis is always taking is always showing picks of hot girls. He's banging to Oh, Lewis. Oh, Lewis. Maybe Simon Lewis. Not Lewis. No, he's got a girlfriend You really do man. I mean you really do get you know, I want to talk real quick about I mean, you really do get a, you know, I want to talk real quick about I get a call from Janice Papis, who we love here at the, you know, what Never responded back to me. I talked to him. Okay, but I'm sorry. I should have told you I went to he calls me. We did a surprise birthday party for Paul Versey last night Cool. I put his house. He lives. Have you been to your Versey's house? No

It's fucking beautiful. And it's up in 40 fucking five minutes away from my house. Wow. Really? Is it looking out on a half in the city? Yeah. I mean, he's like, this fucking dude is 20 minutes, do it, do it.

He's out of his fucking mind. It's, first of all, it's 20 minutes on the back roads to get to the highway. So, like I'm driving home around one o'clock last night and you gotta be careful out there. You gotta be fucking, dude, you see eyes and deer, they don't give a fuck about you either. But I went up there and we did a surprise birthday party.

His wife is amazing. She cooked all this fucking food. She made insane meat. So it was so good. She made sausage and peppers. It was so much food. He came in. Yannis was there. There's a bunch of other comics. It was fucking awesome. Then we went outside, fucking, he lit a, he had like one of those fire pits and we all hung outside and smoked stokes and fucking we trashed him. We made him, you know, we auditioned for sex drugs in the wrong world. For the pizza guy. Okay. The guy from Broad City actually got it, the roommate.

Yeah. Spanish guy. He's fucking great too. He's a really nice guy. And I love that show. But Versi didn't get the part. So I was like, well, let's, why did you get it? So let's reenact it.

So we re, I got a video, it's by the fire pit. And you know, the line is, I got a video it's by the fire pit and You know line is I got a pizza for bam bam and you know He's supposed to read it like he's you know, he doesn't it's kind of a cute confusing name So it's a guy actually is a guy I got a pizza for bam Bam Like just put the ball like there's a fucking nine commas and a few dots Right just put the ball like there's a fucking nine commas and a few dots Till we were fucking laughing so much dude it was such a blast then we went inside I'm leaving they three got a six foot fucking Italian sub

His wife was like just in case you get hungry under like a note case you get hungry ordered this too So then we ate the sub it was a fucking great night. So I want to say happy birthday to Versi And it was fucking awesome, but he lives way the fuck out dude I had to have somebody walk me Verzy. And it was fucking awesome. He lives way the fuck out there, dude. I had to have somebody walk me to my car because it was dark, fucking dark. That's crazy. And I was like, I don't know if I can live up there, man. I mean, where I live, you know where I live.

I live right by your check. It's country, but it's not. Like the highway. You can't follow driving at night. It's a little. You do, but it's still, you don't even mean it's, I'm right, I'm right by a three-line, the street light. It's suburban.

I'm right by all the major highways. I'm right near a huge mall. I'm right by white plains. I'm 30 minutes to the city. How do you get up there, you take the parkway? Huh? You take the parkway out there? Yeah, I take the parkway 87 either or east side of west side.

Take the digging? No, I don't do the digging. You can do that. That's the 87, right don't do the digging. You could do that. That's the 87, right? I take the digging. But his house is in the middle of fucking nowhere, dude. Like his backyard, we took a walk in the back and it was just us.

It was fucking like a bear could come on and just take you away. Like we're kind of there. I don't know if like a big bear. Shut up. I'd apparently this fucking line of conversation that I brought up really fucking brought this show to the board. Oh, it Like a big bear. Shut up. I had apparently this fucking line of conversation that I brought up really fucking brought the show. It's a barn burner.

Well, fuck you, you could add. I steer the ship, you can't. I bring shit up, and then I'm sorry you don't have a fucking woods voice. Oh, okay, well, let me bring up what I ate for lunch yesterday. You know, I woke up while the heat's on in our apartment, so it's a little uncomfortable. Why is the heat on? I don't know, my fucking landlord up while the heat's on in our apartment, so it's a little uncomfortable

Why is the heat on I don't know my my fucking landlord turn on the heat now my house is like fucking South Florida Why? Becky I was at the pipe he yeah, and he's just like what do you want to do? I don't have windows so my in my bedroom I'm on your room. So my room. It's like yeah, it's great. I'm like no, it's not it's a fucking oven in my it feels like mid July in my bedroom right now You got more months of that now, too What's I know okay? I don't think I'm like, no, it's not. It's a fucking oven in my it feels like mid July in my bedroom right now. You got more months of that now too What's I know? I don't think I'm gonna do it. I think I'm gonna move out because of this. Are you really moving out? I might have placed me can I say something first of all don't be disguised by that fuck that's his excuse He's been dying. He's been made. He knows enough money. He's on fucking nine TV shows. I'm not shut the fuck up He makes all this shit. He's on the road. He's paying fucking four dollars a month in this fucking hovel Okay, he's

His girl When are you gonna fuck why did I hate coming? She loves that shot your face. She hates it She girl is near me. I know her families and I'm fucking nice family First of all who the fuck wants to go to what a fucking Firefighter first of all who the fuck wants to go to what a fucking I'm a intelligent chick wants to go to a room with no windows Oh one that's loving and trustworthy ever boy. Hey sweetie. Can we go to his sauna? Let's get down to the real fucking are you a volunteer fire? No, why why is it my Girlfriends mom was talking to someone that lives on your work. Yeah, and she was like oh Bobby

Yeah, they got the infant. He's a comedian. Yeah, he's also a volunteer firefighter. I was like, there's no way Bobby's a volunteer firefighter. And my girlfriend was like, no, he is. My mom said he is. It was like, well, your mom's wrong. Yeah, her mom. And she goes call Bobby right now.

He's probably just on the calendar. Yeah. Yeah, they're out of the, well, I can't volunteer for anything. That's what I thought. Because there's another one. What's fire, am I going to fucking, I can't volunteer for anything. That's what I thought. Because there's another- What's fire, am I gonna fucking- I can't get a balladder.

I guess. This lady embossed it in a great joke. She's like, girl, I was born as a firefighter and he's fat like me. And she goes, the only way you- You better not be on the second floor if there's a fire. The only way you get in this cock-sucker

if you hold on a bucket and chicken. That's true. They said there's another actor on your block, apparently. What? Yeah, like another- That's bullshit apparently what yeah like another that's bullshit It is dude. I fucking vet it celebrity in the block. Oh the biggest one in this room listen Hey listen I I've had it though. There's no other Street

Yeah, she's a fucking liar. I'm not a firefighter. She lied once why can't she lie twice? Yeah, she's a fucking liar. I'm not a firefighter. She lied once why can't you lie twice? She's lying. She's making shit up. She's fucking gossiping. What why did you vet it to make sure there was no other celebrities? You want to make sure I didn't you? Wait, you really think I did that? What are we on a fucking NPR? I'm fucking joking I mean he also dated a homeless woman. Yeah, he probably takes words at face value She's like I'm not homeless anymore. He's like, no, okay I'm homeless again. He's like that's tragic Why why are you taking my chain? Yeah, I listen

That's how you get her pussy go through my jeans when I was sleeping That's how you get her fucking pussy wet you fucking rattles and coins Tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-iki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-iki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-iki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-iki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-tiki-t video as long as this fucking new program didn't stall out again. Alright, when I went to my fucking story and you sat there and shut down emotionally and fucking creatively, all of you fucks by the way. So it wasn't just- You all turned into a fucking former club owner booker, whatever the fuck he is. Okay, Derek, right? Here's the deal. And then you look, well that's like me bringing up my fucking thing all of a sudden

We brought that up and I murdered no Immurdered murder, you know why I let you I go I go tell me about it And you did and I helped and he helped and we all fucking helped because when you want to be fucking funny about something you fucking Flat nose grunt because the story also the story I told yeah about you So that's why I got you I think I'm getting fucking Bell Paul's be right now I'm sorry my face is Lackluster dinner party that none of us Car

All right, all right,, okay, alright, okay, alright. I can't wait for something to happen. Alright, I can't, you know, you don't think I can be adding shit? Did you hear me? You brought the woods into this? I know, I know, I know. Dude, I got a bear! I mean, Brad made that.

I fucking had a sub at the end. I did not get it. The sub was the twist ending. Yeah, that was your, a shamanlon. You have that shamanlon, this was a sub. I did not get it. The sub was the twist ending. Yeah, that was your shaman. You have nice shaman. This was the sub. I'm leaving. No offense people. There's a song. He's the fucking yeah. That's their Scorsese. It's got a love. As fucking stupid. So you're moving out of your place. I don't know if this key thing doesn't fucking solve itself.

We used to, let me tell you something, when me and Burr lived on, first of all, I did comics come home this weekend. Oh yeah, I was seeing all your Instagram pictures. Look the fucking insane. Yeah, that was a great photo that left button took of you, baby Max and Jimmy found, taking a picture. They didn't take that.

They didn't, don't left button.com. What? That wasn't left button, was it? Yeah, it's leaking bro. No, that was just from them. That wasn't uh... that was a laugh button was it yeah shits leaking bro that was just from that was a from them that was what they put it on their site yeah that was that was the photographer from the garden yeah that they weren't that great for the okay that was i have they were there yeah there was um yeah me and i mean everybody was there what a fucking lot of Tony v if you don't know Tony v is

you fucking he's a beast he's from Boston and he is a fucking killer dude He is a killer. He was in the heat. He was in and he's been in a ton of shit. He's a funny He's he's there's that guy from Boston Tony V. Kenny Rajson Noxy Swini Gavin List used to say when we go out drinking. Yeah, I see Tony V. He's so funny Is there stuff on my mind? Does it like huh? Yeah, absolutely. Joey and Eddie Who just recovered who's a friend a great one my great friends who just recovered from throat cancer? Wow, so I throw cancer a year ago from fucking his ex-wives vage

Oh, yeah, that was a PV what is it? PV got throat cancer, yeah, that was a PV. What is it? HPV. Go throw cancer, okay? He came back in the nigger time, recovered from it to do this show, okay? And he killed with fucking all cancer material, which is hilarious. He had such a great joke at the end of it.

He goes, you know, he's killing, killing, killing with all this cancer stuff. Then he stops at the end and he's like, let's just wanna let you guys know how great comedians really are. They're the most amazing people in the world because when it came down to it, all these comedians that I knew,

or even if I, some I haven't seen, put on benefits because they knew I couldn't work for a year and they put on benefits and raised money and it was unbelievable. I mean, my Facebook was going crazy and all the money they raised for me so I could, you know, go through this and beat this cancer.

And he goes, my girlfriend, you know, was kind of sick and tired of all the depressing stuff on my Facebook. So she put photos of us from last year when we went to Vegas, but she didn't put fucking dates on them. So now all these people are fucking sitting there fucking They're gonna see me and fucking Vegas throwing dice. He goes making it rain

It was just a great fight. He just knocked it out of the park Mark Marin was there his voice is good. I mean, it's a little different. Does that cool though? Like the deals No, I mean, it's no, it's it's a little you can notice a little different, but it's him. He's still he's got his voice Mark Marin killed it Jimmy Fallon Lenny Clark who's a fucking monster and he is just he just annihilated he walks out with tail green fucking jeans on And fucking monogram slippers with Alan a fucking sea on the foot. He's just really. Leary then Jimmy Fallon went out and with Leary they sang songs. It was fucking great. Fucking what's out Jim Gaffigan. Jesus. And me and Billy Burr closed it out.

What's the gap between Boston? No, he's not. He's from Indiana, but he's, you know, they don't, it's not all from Boston. It's mostly comic from Boston. They always have like special guests. It's the 20th year, so they just fucking loaded it up. Please. Yeah, and fucking, you know,

Burr, they're all fucking so funny, man. Is it the first time with the garden? First time with the garden, there was 13,000 people. Was it crazy because especially you and Burr's starting, starting You know it like nicks and all that kind of stuff Yeah, and then like you two kind of being at the garden together. That's pretty fucking nuts Yeah, they're kind of like you look back like oh fuck we kind of did it Well, I was a little nervous just because last year I had a close and closing is a tough spot on that show Yeah, any year because it's always a great lineup

And I was still nervous this year because I'm following Fallen's, you know, in the crowd. Yeah. And then they brought like firefighters up and made it like emotional. And they're like, you should go tell fucking dick jokes. But so you, so I was pacing, dude.

I was very, I was nervous weeks out for that. You know, I played the garden before. I did it with Dane at his tour. I did that, you know, 25 minutes in the middle in the round. It was 18,000 people. But it's, it, that, you know, I didn't give a shit about that. It wasn't my, you know, I mean, this, yeah, I was following Al who I love, but, you know, I wasn't really worried about following him. Yeah. You know, you're following Murder's Row of fucking guys and those, the later the show, the more you go off fuck. So I'm doing just watching Jimmy Fallon, the, you know, fucking guy from the

tonight show with Dennis Leary singing songs, the place going nuts. And I got to go up and how do you, how do you break that first, second? How do you walk out and go, what the fuck? You have to rely as a comic on your fucking instincts. You have to go with that. So I was like, dude, I'm going out there, I'm just fucking acknowledging this shit. And I went out and I was like, oh, this is fucking great.

I got to follow Jimmy Fallon, fucking Leary singing, Jimmy in the audience, hyping there. And then fire fighters, I go, why don't you get Ted Williams head sticking on the fucking on the high head. So I'm going to go up and down during my whole set. And that's just fucking set it off. I was off. Yeah, now bring the fat ball guy out. Who nobody knows So it was fucking I had fucking it was some Marin tweet about it during your set

Yeah, holy shit Robert Kelly's funny. It was great. Everybody was fucking great. So it was fucking that is a crazy lineup It's a crazy lineup and they raised a shitload of money for it. And it was I went I went to giggles for the first time in like 20 years. Like giggles is a club. The last time I stepped stage I was on the stage. I was an open micer. Wow. So I can't it's in on one in August because like he might oh, I love my clock Lenny's brother who booked Nix and he also booked giggles giggles as this club and his wife is a sweetheart I wanted to do a warm-up set just to fucking see what I'm doing and It was fucking crazy the cast from sex and drug went so that was fucking great

I was backstage dude fucking dude Michael J Fox came nearly So I fucking I'm sitting there talking to this guy. I found this VIP section, I didn't even know it was there. I was over by the fucking buffet all night. Just fucking hanging with the regulars. Then I was suddenly, there was this VIP segment and I go, what's in there? That's where all the VIPs go.

And they let me in. I was like, oh great, I'm fucking idiot. So I'm talking to this guy. He's like, you're so funny. He's fucking, and I'm like, oh, fucking, thanks brother. Thanks. And this is my mom. She's from Somerville. I'm like, I grew up in Meffin. Me and her start yapping. I'm like, I'm telling her how some of the people of fucking scumbags, you know, all the fights are, at times I got my ass beat for like, Somerville motherfuck. She's, she's laughing. She's like, ah, you're right.

You fucking those cocks. And then all of a sudden I look over and I'm looking at this kid and I'm like, wait a minute. This kid who the fuck if that's fucking Captain America? Oh wow. Dude, it's fucking Chris Evans and he's the fucking greatest guy. His mother is fucking hilarious. She's just like fucking every chick I grew up with. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I didn't even know it was him yet.

I like a beard and a hat on. I didn't know he's from Boston. He's from Beantown. He lives right in downtown Boston. But I'm sitting there going, this guy looks like him. I'm not gonna say it, because it's probably not. And then I'm like, it's fucking it. Captain America.

I just want to go do it. I'm such a big fucking Marvel fan. I just want to stop quoting shit. You know what I mean? He probably thought you were the coolest because you didn't even bring it up. Well, he was a fucking great guy. He was a fucking awesome.

And his mother was, his sister was great. They're just regular fucking dude, people from Boston. I mean, he has a Boston accent too, which at it. Yeah, because, I mean, when he's around, that's what happens, I think when you go home and he lives in Boston, he doesn't live in LA. I was like, you live in his, nah, I fucking stay here, they hate it.

I was like, how fucking much do you have to respect that yeah that the guys that go fuck yourself? I live here I'm not moving LA. That's fucking great But he was then he was like dude as the fucking funny party's like do you can I get your number you might as that weird? I go no no no no you're captain America dead. You get in my kid No, it's not you carried away Iron man could have my kid Robert Denny's you and you get out of your drug you sister. I'm giving him a cap America I'm gonna fuck I don't I don't I want him to have a little edge I don't want him to be a gen of the fucking bang Louis cats

That's fucking awesome dude. It was fucking crazy. Have you been texting since that? Well, no because I He texted me hits its Evans. I was like I texted I texted back. I was nervous. So I texted back good meeting Fucking idiot. I just had another Dude, I forgot to put the you okay, so now it sounds like we were fucking hanging like we had a thing We work for Home Depot. Now you think you fucking earned business with him? Oh, it's good meeting. That's a good move.

We're gonna raise the bar this month. I thought you were gonna just block them immediately. It's like, well, this asshole was a mistake. Yeah, that's it. I wrote good meeting and that's the friendships over. And then I had this unbelievable night. Max went to the garden. He didn't see me perform.

He got too tired. He had to go, but she you know He's so he's at the garden. He met all these people. We all these fucking crazy photos and then I'm looking at the photos later And and cam nearly who's a hockey god. Yeah, he's a real legend. He's the fucking legend. Okay. He's the motherfucker He's the greatest guy ever, but you know, I mean, you know, he, you know, you could see who is comic He knows this guy and that guy and hey, how you doing? Thanks for coming to me. He was really nice to me after After my set, but I look at my photos and there was me and Dawn and Max getting photos and there was me and Cam and Max and he was kind of looking You know like annoyed. Yeah, I'll take this photo. Let's go. I was sudden dawn gets in the photo and his hands on her back

And he's smiling and then he I see in the next photo and Let's go. All of a sudden, Dawng gets in the photo and his hands on her back and he's smiling. And then I see the next photo and he's smiling again and his hands a little weirdo. The next photo, he's looking right at her tits. And Dawng, that fucking dumbbrought I'm married to, smiling away. It doesn't even know that fucking cams about the fucking taking a room and fucking go listen. I'm gonna fucking fuck you right now, right? Or did she know? They, if you cropped me out of that photo, it's the happiest family ever. The happiest family, Kim, Max, and Dawn,

the greatest fucking couple in the world. So, Don's gonna start calling Max, Max, and Nelly. She's like, your new name is Neely. Not when Neely Jersey's in the house. He just started putting black tape over the K and the E. He just started putting it in the E. My dad was up hockey legends. My dad's K and Neely.

I'm like, was he? It was a band band from six shows to the open hall. So that was pretty crazy too. I mean, Larry brought me out as a band band from six shows to the rock and the rock. So, that was pretty crazy too. I mean, Larry brought me out as, as Bam Bam. That was awesome. That was nuts. That's when I was like, oh shit, I'm in a fucking show with this motherfucker. But it was whole night, unbelievable.

Fucking me and Jim Cerberco were there, his kids, his family. It was amazing. I get back to the hotel. I had the fucking set of my life. It was just an incredible night. Everything was awesome. I get back to the hotel, I open the door. I hear shhh. I was like, my wife just shushing me. Yeah, I was like, I had a sneak in the bed. That's what it is, man. I had a fucking sneak in the put my headphones in I had so much energy back in the day I'd be fucking tongue deep and some fucking

Bostonian fucking saw this chick said don't look my ass. I don't like it there They're trying to vibe down with your fucking. I'm just in a tweet audio headphones Sit in there watching your son speak happen America. I just shook hands with fucking Steve Rogers Captain America Steve at Chris Evans you fucking cudge Wow, okay I'm just don't want you I'm a huge Right, you know what you passive aggressive cut I do that one though. How's it going? That was a good one I know, but I just don't you to fuck up the name for real

That's always that's what it is people don't realize stand-up comedy Just go back to your house and you're just normal. Oh on the entry. I so want him to fucking here nothing Nothing, but you have to have the right number though. I do, but I can't use it I also have you're I a favors number, but he thought I was Norton He did we're out of fucking UFC event. He's like dude. What's up? I'm like what's up? He's like dude Well, this gonna be great fights. I'm like fucking love these fights. He's gonna be awesome It's great dude take my number. I was like fuck all right. I'll take it I'm gonna do it right paper and he goes yeah, I do

He's like dude. All right, man. I'm a big fan. I'm like dude. Thanks man. I'm a big fan too He goes great man. Something I'll come on your show. Come on the on the radio show, right? And I'm like, ah, fuck yeah. Yeah, come on anytime you want, buddy. It'd be great if you was talking about what you know what to do. I love if you sold yourself short. He wasn't. He wasn't. He wasn't. He was talking about fucking O and A. It was to O and J now. Oh, yeah. That's fucking, I mean, that's got to be from the standpoint of like, you know, you being a Boston

coming up through Boston, come home doing the fucking garden with a lineup like that, especially being on a lineup with a friend that you started with. It was, it was, I started with all those guys. Joe is my mentor. Joe's one of the most underrated comics around. Yeah. I mean, he's a fucking old school fucking funny joke writing.

Joe, Joe, Joe Yanetti. He is fucking great. Tony V is great. I mean, I came up with these guys. I remember doing shows and they were the headliners. I was the fucking middleer and I would show up and watch them and be like, I just want to be able to kill like them. You know, and when I came, Jim Gaffing, and when I came to New York,

but even Mark Maren was back in Boston. Back when I started. He was a catcher rising star. He was one of those, he was the original alternative comic. I mean, he started that whole movement, right? He started the rooms. Yeah, they did. And who else?

Like Pat and Stephen Wright. Yeah, even Marron's a little like older. Yeah. Yeah, so it was, you know know to be on that show with them But also to hold your own to do you know that's unbelievable everybody did their follow the host of the tonight show with Dennis Leroy the biggest stars as some of the biggest comedic song hits in the world and they're singing songs Are you everybody fucking killed though? And this is what I love the but it and this is what I think sometimes comedy loses now

With I don't know it's a weird. I don't know if maybe I'm out of my mind, but I think back Even though we all came from the same city. We all were different. See I think that's still I still think that's the case But I see a lot of I see a lot of the same type of comedy like Billy Burr went up at the end of the show and did fucking Burr. He went up and just, he didn't fucking cater. He just went up and did his, what he does. And Gaffigan did what he did. I did, we all just did our thing. Yeah, but you guys are also fucking 20 year vets.

Yeah, but it's weird how to do your thing. We've been that way since day one, dude. Back when me, Patrice Dane, Baluie and I, are. We've been that way since day one do back when me Patrice Dane Balloui and I the same guy that's my point you guys need to fucking silhouette yourself and be original then Write something other than a Russian Joe Good done I start tuning my joke guitar and people go not Don't I start tuning I started tuning my joke guitar and people go not

How do you know Dan is not having a good set when the Russian is in the first 10 minutes? Oh Oh, shit. I did I did a new joke, which was awesome. I was a very scared to do it. I did a new joke I did I came up with this joke with garden. I did a I came up with this joke. My wife was like I she came up to me last week. She's like I have this advent calendar and inside each date for December there's a piece of chocolate. So her and Max and I will sit down or her and whoever and sit that open it up and you know and you know I'll have his piece of chocolate and to Christmas and it's just she's like this is a beautiful tradition that my mother do at me every year

And I'd like to carry on that tradition in our family. I was like I love it absolutely I go we should carry on one of my traditions With my mom it will show And in a Christmas we all wake up. We're opening present and around 10 minutes in just y'all We're never fucking doing this again Never it's done! You guys are ungrateful! It's Jesus' birthday!

And it worked, it killed me. I was fucking nervous though, because you know, any screaming joke, if the end of the screaming if this not laugh, you fucking just sit in this screaming. Hey, who could have made me here? Yeah, he's just looking at fucking made me here. That you look like a maniac yeah you look like a fucking maniac that's like energy comics

if the act of comics the act of comics and they fucking flip out and at the end you just you see a thump and the and the breathing hard yeah that's what they but then a lot of times audiences are just trained to clap because they're like you did something

and you said a lot of stuff yeah I did that one night there was some at the village underground there was one comic I'm not remaining nameless was getting a plausible a plausible break You did something in concert a lot of stuff. Yeah, I did that one night. There was at the Ville's underground, there was one comic I'm gonna remain nameless was getting a pause break, a pause break, a pause break after a pause break. And I was like, I go, you wanna see me do it? I'll go up and do it.

Watch, I just, I know how to emphasize and build. And I build and I go, I go, I'm gonna get three of a pause breaks and I went up, I got three, boom, boom, boom. I was like, fuck you. Blaff, I don't want your applause Let's do it on one man show Shit fucking good there's an applause break. That's real when people laugh so hard that they just

Start applause. Oh real applause break. It starts in fractions where like people start to like just laughing so hard They start clapping then everyone clap. I think I'm having a stroke by the way because I cannot say a plausible. We always have audience like Jimmy Volner. Fucking audience is fucking the way to say it. What a great audience. You know what fuck you, Dan? You knew this? You heard about this? Fuck off. Dan soda.

You're riding high after your sweet dinner party. Great weekend. It was in a dinner party. It was a party great weekend. It wasn't a dinner party It was a birthday party for a friend. I know cuz I fucked up. I thought it was text Monday Yeah, text the day and stuff like I'm coming up I Said he goes I invited Dan, but I don't know if he canceled I go he canceled any cancel I fucking thought it was the 17th I go he canceled cuz Dan is in the stage of his career where he says yes And then he can't really or I'm a fucking pothead who thought it was the 17th I go he can't look because Dan is in the stage of his career where he says yes, and then he can't

So really or I'm a fucking pothead who thought it was the 17th and I what would you do last night Dan? I had spots. I host a seller where here can somebody verify that yeah, I was at the seller and I was at What what time what time nine eight forty five at standup New York the 9-30th to solar last night really check it I brought Louis on stage and people Louis who CK Such an ass kisser. You just bomb like they hated me and they bring up Louis and they're like great job I brought up a fucking celebrity You did great. No, I didn't I ate my dick up top. great how is he just killing yeah, I mean he's new shit I'm believe I gotta get a new hour. Why wouldn't he why wouldn't they all fucking come up with a new hour every six months

They said that we get it you guys did good in school now you can tell a dick joke too now you combine the two Fucking wallah you're better than everybody All right, you used to take two years three years to come up with a fucking hour! And yeah, at that time did expand the jokes! Now, because these fucking savants, almost fucking fucking re- It's sick, it's mental illness, that's how smart they are! And they go and they write fucking hours! I'm just gonna stay home and fucking focus! That's called Asperger's!

It's called fucking, it's OCD! I'm gonna stay home and just write right and then I'm gonna perform cuz I don't need to pay rent because I got a fucking Ten million thousand dollars in the bank so I can just stay on for six months and fucking fuck off Those OCD motherfuckers have a good new 30 Yeah, yeah, and plus they're funny you're the nice Now he is fucking Jesus and burrito burst stuff was fucking killer. I'm super excited for his new leg You're special. What about the big news? Yeah, I got picked up comi central

But it bought it. Yeah, yeah, we don't have a day yet, but it's January I'm gonna be great. Yeah, and then we got the how great is it to know that though? What through the long process that they picked it up? Well, here's the thing that's fucking weird about that. And we'll wrap up on this. But the thing that we were all set to go, we had everybody say no. Okay, everybody said no, except for those new wave. And they were great, but it just didn't work out

the first time. It didn't work out, and we had to pull away. And they understood, and then we went back to them, and it didn't work out again. we had to pull away and you know they understood and then we went back to them and It didn't work out again, you know It's just a little whatever they do great stuff Brian, you know jack falls over there now But it just it didn't work out and for us you know to go and do it You know for for cervical to put up his money and I always say this every fuck we're gonna feel like a broken record But it really is

gratifying to take a risk and then it have a panel. So, and to be on Comedy Central is fucking great. Cause they're fucking, that's what comedy should be. I just remember, I remember, you know, kind of watching you be heartbroken when they kind of fucked you. Not fucked you, but they just, when they passed and it was, when I read that news on laugh button,

it was kind of, it was kind of cool. It felt like a win for the good guys. Well, it's a funny thing is, you know, I never, you never get mad I always say you know you see people don't get shit fuck them and fuck that and these people suck It's like no they don't suck. They just didn't want what you had at the time They you know what I mean? It's like when the strip never used me. Yeah, I never got mad I was like I'm not gonna get mad at Lucian because someday if I reach the goals that I fucking have set,

I'll work wherever the fuck I want. So why am I gonna fucking burn that bridge or say fuck you? I'm just not his cup of tea right now. Listen, Mike Clark, the owner of Giggles, didn't use me. Yeah. Because I was dirty. He said, dude, I didn't use you back in the day

because you were dirty. Now you're kind of dirty with a purpose Which is kind of true. I mean, but you know, what if I said fuck you, fuck you didn't use me It's just not it doesn't matter. You will you know what I mean? So it's like when they said no, yeah, it was bummed out, but it wasn't gonna stop me if I had a film on my iPhone I would have done it and I think that's this exactly it was kind of as a younger kind of kind of cool to see that happen Because you really didn't take that attitude You could have taken that to to fuck them and you were like I remember having phone conversations with you

And you were just making fun of yourself. You got dead. I'm fucking but I'm too old for County Central I'm fucking this and that and then you filmed it and it's like when I read that press release That's fucking awesome. Yeah, it's just cool to see a friend of yours You know kind of get the thing that they you know they deserve well You know, it's weird the way I come up with stuff, you know is it does take me a long time. I don't I don't know We heard your story about versus birthday party Great bit and something I'm gonna fucking let's just daddy right there you All right, let's give it up. Let's go around the room Derek

You got no more you be spinning in there Kanta alright, let's give it up. Let's go around the room Derek You guys Where are you we're gonna be buddy you got anything going on you just fucking work. What's the company working for? Rather not say I'm gonna bring bringing any new technology to us? Um, probably not you guys, but it's for retail. Retail what? Retailers, like online retailers, so it wouldn't necessarily make sense to. Wow. So you went from being at the one of the number one clubs in the world to being in a room,

bringing stuff to Walmart. Yeah. Sounds great. Good choice. Uh, but well, good to see you. Thanks for coming up. And you're just, you're just a fan of the show that you wanted to come up. And Scope will gotten touch on me. And I, of course, know you a little better than that. But, do you have a good time? Yeah, absolutely. All right, good, man. Come back anytime you want. But just make sure it's okay with us first. Don't show up downstairs one day. Good, man. Come back anytime you want, but just make sure it's okay with us first Don't show up downstairs one day Yeah, just got to show up

What do you got Mike? I'm doing a half an hour at the Creek in the cave this Saturday If not everyone this comes out, but next Tuesday comes out Monday Monday Yeah, but people listen alive so I don't know how many people we have in the room, but there's there's people in Long Island So go check my cow Are you funny? Receipts one of my You say that you guys all say that about you know, he's fucking hilarious I'm talking Lewis has everybody's Lewis Gomez is best friend. Yeah, Lewis thinks Nate's my best friend

You lose like everybody's his best friend. I'll put it on me. Received Fone his fuck. OK. I wasn't that great today, but I didn't want to, you know, hijack the show already. What are you doing? Spelling shit, brother. I'm ready to end.

Gotta love that he stumbled when he was trying to be conscious. First, yeah, I did. What? You want an asshole? I don't think you know what you're fine. What are you talking about? Yeah, I didn't want to, yeah, I want to like overtalk or anything.

So you did fine. What are you talking about? Yeah, don't worry about it, man, you were great. I mean, you weren't, you're not coming back, but you did. I did pick my nose on camera like twice. I forgot I was standing there. Listen, brother, you come back anytime you want.

But like Derek, make check with us first. No, you can come back, absolutely, dude. You were great. It's weird because people feel like they have to do a certain thing on this show. You could fucking come here and not say one word. Like fucking Bergats used to come in and just stare at me. It was just fucking weird round eyes.

And then all of a sudden you'd say the funniest thing in the world. What do you say? Like two or three fucking insanely funny things at show. He's got that autistic charm. He is really fucking, yeah, he's a funny cut. You just drop 14 matches. Yeah. I'm not gonna do, he's a funny cut you just drop 14 matches Yeah, what do you got? I'll be at laughs in Kirkland The 20th through the 23rd what is he called laughs in Kirkland? Where's Kirkland outside?

Wash you gonna fuck a homeless girl. No, I don't go to Louis cats route And then I'm gonna be at- You know what I get mushrooms on your dick? Cap City, Austin, Texas, December 3rd through the 6th. Awesome, and Dan Soda on- At Dan Soda on Twitter? At Dan Soda on Twitter. What is yours, Mike?

At Mike Racine. At Mike Racine. At Mike Racine. Yeah, please spell that again. It's Mike, or E C I N E. One more time. It's Mike. I just like hearing my voice in microphone. Yeah. All right. What do you got Louis? I'm gonna be you know, I have a weekly workout room here in Brooklyn

So that's coming up this Monday's our two-year anniversary. Where? It's Legion bar. It's I didn't know that Sac man. I'd love to work out really? Yeah, I got I'm gonna come up with a new hour apparently because these fucking cuts come out with every six months All right, I'm gonna start mine. Well, man. I would love to have you. I just didn't even think you want to do it I got you I got your number right? Yeah, we're working out. All right cool So that's at the Legion bar off the Graham L stop East Williamsburg this Monday the what's this coming up Monday 17th 17th is our two year anniversary. So it's gonna be a big show a really good lineup and every Monday, and it's free So come check me out there and my Twitter handles at Louis. That's that's a at L.O. U.I.S KATZ awesome. What do you got for your self-scopo? He's getting on Twitter at Chris Scopo

You haven't a better time now that Kelly's gone. Oh, I don't want to say that I'm gonna ask you seriously is it is it it, are you feel freer that you're not doing the video, you're actually over there and you're having a good time? Yeah, because I don't know what the fuck I was doing over there. So now, so you admit it, she's not here. You admit it, you didn't know what you were doing. Yeah, I had no idea what I was doing.

Okay, you just, you just, whatever you told me, I was just like, oh, okay, I can do it. But now you feel good. Yeah, I can, I know how to do all the other stuff. So that's great.

Okay, go ahead. And then he's a fucking genius over there. That's up. He really is. He really yelled at the entire episode today. You didn't knock it, yelled at it all the time. Are you fucking out of your mind? I'm paying on my back, man. Well, you should because you fucking did this.

Well, we'll talk after. We'll talk after. And then you're very short with me, which I don't like. You can't just, you, I don't think anybody in the room likes that about you, but I do put up with it because you are a savant. If you had more to offer, I'd like, no, go ahead, come on, wide hips. What do you got? Bobby, you'll be at Uncle Vinnie's.

This Saturday night, Jersey. Anybody in the room from Jersey or Northern New York or Easton New York, or New York or Philadelphia or I don't know, anywhere near anywhere you wanna go see Bobby this weekend. Do an uncle Vinnie's Friday night? And Saturday. And Saturday, where's the one Friday night? Friday, you're at Tom's River and the next night

you're at Twins. You know, lives in Tom's River? I believe Chris Wideman doesn't he? Or is it no, it's a Frankie Egger. Frankie Egger, yeah. Frankie Egger, so Frankie egger Somebody fucking tweet Frankie to come on down. I get him free tickets To see my show the yields a gym out there, too. Yeah fucking Frankie egger though

The he is one of the baddest motherfuckers walking here. Oh, good. Then you're December 4th, 56 sat in it Where am I saturday uncle Vinny's again and point pleasant point pleasant so two different places two different places Yeah, I had some guy fucking tweet today. Yeah, I'm gonna be at a fucking Renaissance. It's like yeah, dude I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not fucking Sound out fucking the guacamole theater and fucking New Mexico for you. You can't okay? I'm going to fucking local places to work out my new hour because they're fucking writing new hours every six months Okay, but a lot of old stuff that I'm gonna do too to work out my new hour because they're fucking writing new hours every six months. Okay? Put a lot of old stuff they're gonna do too.

God. Then you're gonna be at McGubby's joke house. No, we're moving that. No, I don't say that. We're done. That's it. That's it. Number one more.

Number 12, you're gonna be the I play American freehold New Jersey. What the fuck is that? I am. Oh, I'm also in the comedy connection, Rhode Island for New Year's Eve. That's not on the top of the deck. Yeah, yeah, well, all right, don't talk. We're going to be a New Year's Eve. I'm going to be at the comedy connection, Rhode Island. Go to their website for tickets.

I'm going to update my website. My wife's not on it. She's going to be a baby. I'm going to fucking yell at her. But it's going to be a great show. Two two shows New Year's Eve comedy connection wrote out on me Robert Kelly and It's gonna be fucking I might bring one of these fucking queers with me too Not Dan because we know you're a headliner Dan and oh, hey, dude You know I saw a head of care lines on Broadway for New Year's You want to ring in the the year in the big city? If you want to try to get in to his show, try. That's what everyone's doing.

Yeah, there's 10 billion people from around the world screaming, surrounding the show. Yeah, if you wanna get patted down on New Year's, go into a comedy show by fucking some fucking over the, over the Zellas cop. Go to Dan Souther, you wanna have a fun time? Go to fucking my place and I wrote Alan. And yes. Like I said, you guys are the best fans of the world. Thank you for donating.

There's the donate button on the Ryakass YKW website. You guys are amazing, how the graves. You know, Ian, you guys are great. Thank you so much. And check out for that new Fun razor with doing gift drive YKWD gift drive all the information is coming out this week It's gonna be awesome and we're gonna help a lot of kids that need it for this holiday season That's it you guys the best. Thank you for listening. You know what did? Con Volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca. Espectacularismos, monumentos, rincones de película y un sincín de aventuras desesperan.

¡Fliparás! Vuelades de Madrid, Amurcia y a otros destinos que te sorprenderán a partir de 19 euros. Volotea Parifa sujetas a disponibilidad. Consulta las condiciones en volotea.com