Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Regz ep #01 | Airway HPV | Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List

Starting point is 00:00:00 It's Robert Kelly so you know what to podcast on lightcast.com We're starting. Hello. Yeah. None of us thought you were going to be on time. So we're not no one's mad. You've got to the point where we expect you to be late. Well, I mean, we're not live.

Starting point is 00:00:43 We're such when we start. So I'm on time before I'm on time. Huh? What? What the fuck? What kind of dumb logic is that? I'm on time. What the fuck?

Starting point is 00:00:53 What did you just mind fuck us with? Do you think that all of us are stupid? God damn, you really employ retards of gas digital for that logic to kind of work. Where he's like, that was like a Jedi mind swap. He's like, I'm on time when I'm on time. No, you're not, you're late. We said 11 a.m. we're here at 11 a.m.

Starting point is 00:01:10 Yeah, I was here at 10.40. Yeah, I was here before that. I was even late. I was two minutes late. Yeah. But he does drive from Jersey. Oh, wait, I come from Westchester. Yeah, it doesn't matter where you come from.

Starting point is 00:01:21 It matters where you leave. It matters where to go. It doesn't matter. How does that matter? You don't drive from, so you leave earlier. Yeah, there you leave. It matters what's in the matter. How does that matter? You don't try from here. So you leave earlier. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. We solved your problem.

Starting point is 00:01:29 So when my man drew my restaurant, I said one time I go, the subway was late, she goes, then get an earlier subway, like get a train earlier. Yeah, man, you got a job at subway. Hey Joe, we're gonna edit that out. No, you're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm making the point of the show's not live. The show is we're taping it.

Starting point is 00:01:44 So it's Technically to start whenever we start so one of my six Hey, what's up everybody? This is Robert Kelly and I'm here and We're doing cans of no cans because you have no cans. I have I have cans. I get cans about I don't want to wear cans I have to do it Lewis Keep it over there. What do your ears get ready? This is not the setup looks gay too. They got all be over there. I can Do your ears get 20? You know what I'm saying. This is not the setup. Looks gay too.

Starting point is 00:02:06 They got all be over there. Gotta keep on hearing. I can't have a Lewis next to me. No. We can't have a Lewis next to me. We'll go next to Joe. Yeah, we got to move Dan over just to here. Yeah, but this makes it seem like you're the guy

Starting point is 00:02:18 and where the assholes. I don't like it. You want him over here? It should be equal. All right. Yeah, it's not equal. You got a better chair already. First of all, first of of all separate but equal. That's what I want in America We get the AC going on in here. You want him right here? It is human. What about right there?

Starting point is 00:02:32 What do we do? The head of the table then he's the lead? We're not giving him head of the table I should have the big day and the head of the table everybody's not we just turn on the air conditioner Can we put the I'm gonna take my pants off? I don't care for all the interns here. What is this? It's amateur hour over here. There's five open micers here. You're out of your mind And if you're listening to this podcast, you're like I can hear the AC. I don't give a goddamn You can't hear the AC is his head in my camera. Yes Directly that's the biggest head on the show shouldn't have put me in the room. I move all of us right there Is that better? Yeah, I don't you and Lewis next to each other's compelling. That's interesting Lewis is here. Yeah

Starting point is 00:03:08 Yeah, Joe and I are over here. Yeah team nice Wait a minute. No fuck you. I'm nice guy too I'm not on his side. You look great. I will say that I'm not on your side. You're most in proof since last time we are together It looks wise and Lewis is up there. I fall apart. I think I'm at the bottom. Yeah, I wanted to say I lose about 15 pounds and 15 not 15 15 205 good luck not 15 Lewis looks in 25 25 25 dude. I look I look gone No, you don't need to lose 25 pounds. That's 15 and I'm in my bag dude 15 and I'm looking at I tell you what you're getting What surgery? Yes, we're getting skinny fat.

Starting point is 00:03:45 You're getting, no, you're getting man face. Oh, you're good. You're no longer a boy. Good, man. You're a man. Good. You look good. 40 years old, I'm a man.

Starting point is 00:03:56 Yeah, you have, when you look at me, it's stern. Yeah. I've been trying to, as I walk around, I've been trying to lift my eyebrows up. Yeah, just like walking around, I guess. Well, and the tag is still on that nugget set since when they won the championship. What is it? Is it the sweat marks? Why don't you go look at, oh, you know what dude,

Starting point is 00:04:12 from 2011, where I'm wearing this hat, you fuck. That hat? You said no. You did not have that hat 2011. I have a hat. I'm calling bullshit. No way. I have a picture with Colin Quinn from 2011

Starting point is 00:04:23 when I have long hair and I'm sitting right there. That hat? This fucking hat. That is Jack Kat. Well, you just did it off. I busted a hat. No way. I have a picture with Colin Quinn from 2011 when I have long hair and I'm sitting right there. That hat? This fucking hat. That exact hat. Well, you just did it off. I busted it off. He saw that. Have you seen that hat?

Starting point is 00:04:31 I've never heard him mention the nuggets. One time my whole life. I just want to show you. We got our bet in 2009. What about our bet in 2009? That's not the nine. I don't even know you in 2009. Yeah, you did, you know seven.

Starting point is 00:04:40 See what happened? They came into the league in 2010. I just say something. Mark Norman gets a, they get a little famous and they start forgetting the past. Amos. Can I say something? It looks like the nice guy side has really.

Starting point is 00:04:51 Well, Joe's being a dickhead because the Boston Celtics traded Marcus smart and he's fucking mad about who the fuck is Marcus smart. Do you need to do not know? That was a joke. Okay. It's all jokes, baby. You remember all the time soda would talk about the nuggets though And I always be like man the nuggets. Here's what I don't like about Joe

Starting point is 00:05:07 He's rewriting history because he knows I'm a nuggets fan and he's not enjoying What about these what about the nugget now? Those are golden. He's nuggets golden nuggets baby Swetting you're sweating because you're on something What are you doing drugs dude? Are you on drugs you wish get ready for my benefit? What are you? Jesus Christ. What are you warriors fan? You win. Get ready for my benefit. What do you, oh Jesus Christ. What are you warriors fan? I thought you were warriors.

Starting point is 00:05:28 Never a warrior fan. I thought you were 49ers warriors. No, it's Niners Nuggets. Those are my two top teams. Always has been. There's a lot of end words on the team. You just talk about end words. Lewis is late.

Starting point is 00:05:38 Whoa. You think of end words too far. Dude. Edit that. No, not. I'm going to, I'm going to throw in all the edits. No, I don't mean he's one. And if you word, if you guys want to watch the nice guy edit, we'll put up that second.

Starting point is 00:05:46 First of all, you two are not the nice guys. See, we're edit that. We're nice. Yeah, we're nice. That's none of those being edited. You just snapped on each other over a stupid, not a half. Joe is being confrontational.

Starting point is 00:05:57 I'm mad that the nut gets on the top. I'm trolling you, I'm joking. But also, Dan used to be nice and then Alan got to him. Now, so does like a mother fuck. Yeah, can I say something? Yeah. I'm mad that I get one of the trolls. I'm joking. But also Dan used to be nice and then Alan got to him. Now so does like a mother fuck. Yeah, can I say something? Yeah. You're a little aggressive lately.

Starting point is 00:06:12 Yeah, that's good. Alan would think that was good. That's good. Yeah. Wow, you can only be walked on if you lie down. Yeah, that's good. Did he say that to you once? No, I never heard that one.

Starting point is 00:06:22 Yeah, I heard that one. I like that one. Yeah, don't, if you're, if you're not a mat,. Yeah, I heard that one. Oh, girl. I like that one. Yeah, don't, if you're not a mat, then you won't get walked on. But here's the thing, you guys are actually catching my actual emotions. I'm not suppressing them and then going home

Starting point is 00:06:34 and getting furious. What do I do? Is that what you used to do? Oh, yeah. That's why I think I have high blood pressure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I just hold it? Can we, can we,

Starting point is 00:06:41 I'm letting it go. That's why I'm acknowledged. And I, that's why I'm an asshole and I have man face now. And 15 pounds of reward. Yeah, you really let go that nuggets comment that was clearly a joke. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that made me happy and you're making me mad with it. Yeah, it's like, it's a sports, it joke around. Okay, we had it that out. You do, teasing me a little bit.

Starting point is 00:07:09 I'm breaking your balls a little bit right where you're getting fresh. Hey guys, can you look at me? Do you know what it is? I'm just, I'm real sweaty right now. I think it tees off. Do you see, oh, you're gonna be one of these guys that tells me I need to take the-

Starting point is 00:07:20 No, you don't need to, you need to have your tea taken out. Yeah, yeah. I think as you get older, you have giant-tism disease, or something's just dripping too much. Something's pressing on my brain. Yes, something's happening. I have a tumor pressing on my brain that's making me large. Can we acknowledge the fact that Lewis has made us bitches

Starting point is 00:07:38 that we're not even mad that he's late for the show? I'm thrilled that he's late. Yeah, there's a nice conversation for us. It's gonna be a fun podcast. And so he shows up and makes it all about him. You guys are the nice side. Yeah, you guys really look at stuff. Well, I still want my 80 bucks.

Starting point is 00:07:53 80 bucks for what? I canceled two spots to do the show. And then the show is canceled right before we were supposed to record. And I couldn't get my spots back. That was crazy. 80 bucks. Why was it crazy?

Starting point is 00:08:02 Because we put so much planning into it. And then the canceled day of because Louis, you needed to hang with his girl. First of all, you didn't put any planning into it. Yeah, we did. We agreed. No, you didn't. Yeah, we did. We were all on a text read and we all looked at our characters that night. That night. No, that and there was over. Yeah, it's planning. The night. Yeah, and that I canceled the stand spots.

Starting point is 00:08:21 Oh, 80 bucks. Oh, I'll, I'll Venmo you today, bitch. Yeah. Thank you. Make him do it. I'll take it. I'll donate it to charity. I don't really need the money I'm not giving it to you then. I don't give the charity so I don't like your charities. What do you mean? What charity? Your charity's homeless or some horse homeless what you're paying for the cause nobody hates the whole black Lives Matter. You'll donate the black lives matter. Joeless really does hate the homeless. I don't hate the homeless. I mean, yeah, that incident in Austin. They hate me. Yeah, they should. Wow.

Starting point is 00:08:52 Yeah, you look like a landlord. You have landlord face. Yeah, you're vulnerable. What landlord in New York looks like this? They look like fucking. You look like an Ohio landlord. Yeah, they look sorry. The water's going to be turned off on Wednesday.

Starting point is 00:09:03 Blink, blink. They look like Danny Braff. But the rent. I mean, are we gonna stand for this Jew hate? Yeah. I mean, I know it's gonna come when he shows up. How do you think this podcast is gonna become popular? By going pro is for it.

Starting point is 00:09:17 His for it. Pro is talking about the 12 tribes in being pro is. Israel. Ah, sarah. Ah, dolelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelele Ah, sarah. Ah, dolelele, batereko. Rukhata naqarir. The Nome's gonna give them all the spots. Ah, mozilech, ah, man, oh, how did it feel?

Starting point is 00:09:34 How do you feel about that, you anti-Semite? No, I'm the opposite, dude, I'm hardcore. Hardcore what? I was telling you, you always tell me. I'm always real, baby. Off mic, you always tell me that Palestine has a right is the rightful air to that land. Yeah, you are you you say that they're Palestinians should rise up. Well, it depends who's listening if you know, yeah, maybe Lewis is late and he tried to bitch us. What do you say?

Starting point is 00:10:01 It's only light when you if you allow it to be light. Being light to start a mind. Lewis really does, he missed a boat. He should be an Instagram motivator because he speaks in those kind of clips. Yeah, but not a good one. Like one at a holiday and express. Yeah. Now, the bomb, Dan, I'm not asking because I'm saying anyone bombed.

Starting point is 00:10:19 I'm just saying, is it? Oh, God, we get it, Joe. It's not all things and puns. Does it cross over? I think it was a fucking good joke. What? It's a question. You're testosterone's leaking dead. Well guess what? It gets us taking three shots every morning. I'm talking to Alan today and I'm gonna bring up. I'm coming. I'm missing Alan because of this. I'm missing Alan too. I'm supposed to be an Alan right now. I'm supposed to be an Alan at 1245. I'm just being at 1115. I'm gonna be an Alan on because of YouTube fucking idiots fucking it's hot. Did you shut the AC off?

Starting point is 00:10:47 Okay, does the bomb Dan a carry over from you know what dude to the regs? Yes, I thought this is no No, this is the regs. This is a new part. This is a new thing. You listen to the podcast that the conversations we have no Don't I mean that's honest. I genuinely do not. This is, I briefly read everybody. Welcome to the show. You guys know the show, the YKWD. That's not it. This is the regs. We're me.

Starting point is 00:11:14 Not the host. I'm not, I, I kind of host, but I'm not though. You need a host. I thought this wasn't, you know what it is. No, it's not a you know what to. This is the regs with joe list aka the truth dan soda aka corporate dan i want to play and j while it's your fault not my don't play me he left i didn't want it i told him to stay i said stay you're stupid he's like i want

Starting point is 00:11:36 to go and he fucking left so don't get mad at me but me and j having a great time dan not corporate dan anymore dan's fiery Dan's like baseball manager Dan now I like that. I'm gonna take my hat really. I'm gonna get dirt on you Dan's like fucking Aaron Boone He's like I'm a savage in the box. You are you do have you do have a Stern problem Your man Brian Stern You have a you're very Forceful now. I don't think I'm forceful at all. I think I stand up for myself. Yeah, a, you're very forceful now.

Starting point is 00:12:05 I don't think I'm forceful at all. I think I stand up for myself. Yeah, but you do it in the wrong way. I agree with you on that one. I do miss. I'm getting used to the tuning. Well, we were trying to get a you and Joe together to make a, hang, let me finish.

Starting point is 00:12:18 Okay. Okay. We're trying to get you and Joe together to make a video for the podcast to kind of have a teaser and This is gonna get ugly. It's gonna get very ugly. I should I wait for Lewis to come sure. No, no, we shouldn't He's gonna bring it up. Okay We got beef that's all you two have beef that's right with me and Lewis or Lewis just a general

Starting point is 00:12:44 Just a general. It's just a general piece of patty. This is so funny. This is a general hamburger patty. Let's cut back to when the fridge was over there and it's full of beer. You want to give us some beers? Was it full of beer for long? You want to talk about what calm does down?

Starting point is 00:12:58 That was, by the way, we got to get those down for the sake of what we've got. Seriously. We have to shoot those in face like general's odd. We need to put it in one of those cubes And fuck it. Oh, we take care of those talk about it. Yeah, don't talk about it. Jesus Mushy to care of it, right? No, yeah, YouTube ones are gone. Oh cool Yeah, yeah, okay Anyway, it's mush we gotta get somebody on that.

Starting point is 00:13:26 Yeah, I left all of Lewis's stuff in. Good. Yeah, it's just you guys going, no. No. Well, you know my method, what I do when Lewis says, or somebody says something crazy in a podcast, I move the microphone and I just make it clear that I'm not smiling.

Starting point is 00:13:39 I can do this. Do you have a camera you check down? Yeah, I just look at it real serious. I Don't like that. I don't subscribe to that. It's good move. You're having a baby. Yeah, big time And when is that when I'm having a baby too? No, no, oh, sorry. When is that? The ads sorry. Yeah, when similar when do you do similar body types? When are you welcoming your child in the world? Probably October 30th, ish That's what the do day, but you never know you use a lot of body types when you're welcoming your child into the world. Uh probably October 30th Fish that's what the dude day, but you never know. You know, Halloween.

Starting point is 00:14:09 You know, if you're having a boy or a girl big boy, I wouldn't keep a girl. Oh, yeah. I would you get those anti-natal laws and the fucking list household. That's a river baby for you. Big boy. I'm gonna have a boy. It's awesome. Do you know what you're gonna name them? I'd rather not say Bob. Is it gonna be Eddie for Eddie Vetter? Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Lewis J Gomez, AKA the Puerto Rican rattlesnake. We're live when we're live. We're live now.

Starting point is 00:14:34 AKA Lewis, we're live because we're live. Yo, you guys can just wait at 15 minutes to start the show. We waited. Or you could have been on time. We just been warming up, dude. We've just been shooting baskets. Yeah, we're just shooting baskets. We're just getting it, we're just getting warmed up. I've already yelled. We're not live. We could just, you know, we start when we start. Yeah, we started. We have more

Starting point is 00:14:53 content, extra content. Yeah, dude. Yeah. We can edit. That's a special thing. Welcome to the show everybody. So you think it'll be on time for a special thing. Well, you know, I had a lot going on, Joe. I mean, your life is fucking what? You don't even got a baby yet, dude. It's on the way though. I know well Well, when you have a baby then come to me and tell me oh shit do 15 minutes I think I'll be late a hundred percent of the time you will be late a hundred percent. I have a baby I hope your baby. Hey guys. I have a baby and I wasn't late

Starting point is 00:15:16 Damn and I'm never late and I have a baby. I have the same life as Lewis from and I live this exact age Yeah, I mean, it's like a month off. Also, you were late before you had the baby. Always. That's true. You're always late. I was irresponsible back then. Did you make them go over overly responsible?

Starting point is 00:15:33 Did I make them go to Starbucks? No, I said, I'm like, why? You guys are coming at me like a bunch of... You're the joke, everyone's in the july. Target's old school core value. We can't monetize now. Well, it's over. So what oh good about monetizing with you Joe I will I would feel this box if it's not beaped. Yeah, equinox With this you know first. Yeah, he will work. That's a you I work for you dog

Starting point is 00:15:58 I'm worth a hammer for seeing MMA podcast. She's I'm old school and I don't care about money Yeah, I will lies a Colby because she's a good singer And I wore the shirt cuz it hides my tits the best 15 pounds damn wanted to wear LSU baseball shirt but hasn't come in the mail yet He's making fun of it because I'm a they won the championship And he's calling me a front runner. What's LSU? Jealous it's Louisiana State University. Is that where liby don goes? No, who's liby done? Who's liby done bring up liby done?

Starting point is 00:16:24 Bush can you bring up liby done or whoever's on the ones and two and what are you doing? So we can watch Lewis jack off Jack in it all Jack Jack. You see that then Well, that's nice. It's you know what a new you know what dude logo. I thought a shibana else about it It's the right dude. It's not what you're gonna be doing. He said he thought we're doing what I could have it You know what do the regular no, it's not it's the reg this is a new podcast. That's not this is this is just some who's searching I don't know what you sir the full name. He just put on he's put in the word livy. Yeah, who is this? It's why you did that why you why do you suck so bad at searching team? That was it's max that was fucking that's autistic

Starting point is 00:17:04 Max retarded three of my people have autism. So please yeah, no, this's max. That was fucking, that's autistic max. Retarded. Three of my people have autism, so please. Yeah, this is this LSU, yeah LSU, dude. Jesus, she's an LSU gymnast. And she's like super famous right now, because she's so hot. She does nothing for me. She does zero for you.

Starting point is 00:17:17 No, nothing. Not even a little bit. Pulp her Instagram. Pulp her. I don't like blonde. Shut up. I don't like blondes. You're like blondes.

Starting point is 00:17:24 Huh? It's like brownie, but it's made with a like a vanilla burger. Bad. You're still you're still a fat one. No, you're a fat. You think I'm fat. Guys, I think I might be taking the title. He's close. No, Bobby, you're still the fattest of every you're still fat. You're fat. You're a fat of me. You think I'm better than you? You're your hips. You're hips. I have big fat. You have white hips. I have white hips. And I'll always have're hips. I have big fat You have white hips. I have white hips and I'll always have white hips me too. We both have white hips That's right Lewis has fat black girl hips That doesn't do nothing for you click on one of the pouch

Starting point is 00:17:52 It's like no one of them. No. Yes. Don't you put your hands on me muff all the don't put it is this gonna be a we pointed hot Chicks on the screen show. Yeah, no people come on. What do we do? Wait, Joe? Why is a horned up Lewis is a good Lewis. First of all, there's no stories, there's no direction. You remember the old intro? That's it, dude. It's the same podcast. It's just a comic hang, dude. Different podcast.

Starting point is 00:18:12 Yeah, but no, now he's got stories that the direction with the new, for whatever it does now. It's you know what? They're mad at you, by the way. They're mad at me. Why you didn't say we were mad at all? You guys are unwilling to produce a trailer?

Starting point is 00:18:22 No, that's not it. I just want 80 bucks, that's all. He's got two spots. And I'd like an apology, I can't written apology to Patrick and say I'm responsible for him missing spot. I have a reputation, I'm never late, I never miss spot. It's giving you $100. It's giving you $100.

Starting point is 00:18:36 Get $100. I'll give it to charity, I don't need money really. No you do, you need it. No, I don't. You got a big, you got a baby on the way to $100. Yeah, thank you. This is the only way I'm getting a baby gift from you. I got James a lot. Is that who I am? Is that who I am damn you liar? What do you mean liar? You liar?

Starting point is 00:18:50 What is that? That's who I am. You think I'm a I'm not get a gift for a fucking type of guy guy. You think you'll get a gift You've never gotten max anything. Are you into your fucking mind? I will I I hope it takes max a close to recon my darn We also I've been with Lewis at toys our rest when we're going up to max's birthday fucking crazy i'll lose the man couldn't be more generous with max yeah i like watching you fucking immediately back there i'm all cuz he is i sort of trigger him a little bit when you fucking out of your mind now he's fantastic let's get to the real topic better dad louis are bobby no what a fucking first topic this you you got a baby on the way, Joe.

Starting point is 00:19:25 I would have to give it to you. That would have to give it to you. Good grab. That was cool, too. I would have to give it to Lewis. I forgive you for all the nuggets. I would have to give it to Lewis because the expectation that it would be a good day was so low.

Starting point is 00:19:37 You know what I mean? He overshot his mark by a thousand fold. People thought I was going to fucking just leave. They're going to leave beaters in the hospital. If you would have asked me about 10 years ago, where would this be right now? I'd be like, Lewis is kid is cage fighting for food. I would think it's kid would be in Montana.

Starting point is 00:19:53 I, me personally, I would have thought that I would have created like my own version of Little Hercules. Look at it. I got it in James Jack. Yeah. James is like, I don't want to eat protein. And Lewis, you gotta load up.

Starting point is 00:20:04 Instead you created a little version of Mateo Lane. Yeah. Dad, my place this weekend, opera singing. Well, I didn't tell you that when James came over one night and he ran into Max and he maxed on the couch on his iPad. Hey, and Mac, they were excited to see each other. And Max has just got his hair dyed blonde and it was hanging in his face I know the word he used what I

Starting point is 00:20:28 Did he call his hair luscious? Because he likes to call people's hair luscious He's like he's got such a luscious hair. I'm like you can't call another man's hair Luscious to you not only do you say that? Max's hair and brush it out of his eyes. He did this Max's hair and rusted out of his eye. He did this. Wow. He was your last. He was.

Starting point is 00:20:46 Max, but this is why I know Max. Did he clear and he got there he is. That's right. Max is the man he went. Thanks. He went thanks, dude. And James went, hey, I like to see both of you guys. What if they're soulmates? What if they end up together? Dude, that would be really sweet.

Starting point is 00:21:00 The greatest long storytelling of all time. Yeah. If Max and James end up together just madly in love Why the bomb the sun even this sort of funny idea You guys just both bombs split it Fuck you You don't know. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know. Fuck you, dude. Get out. We have to talk to him.

Starting point is 00:21:29 You're gonna have a little bad idea. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you, dude. You're dad died for a reason. My son will never be gay. We just didn't like the... My son wasn't the top. No, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:21:42 No, look, James, I know he likes girls because he talks about it now. It's like a thing. And he likes boys. No, look James, I know he likes girls because he talks about it now. It's like a thing. And he likes boys. But also he's probably bisexual. Yeah, I think everyone's by now. I think let's all give it a try. Come on, let's make his legs.

Starting point is 00:21:53 Come on, legs. Come on, I'm doing a bit. I'm not touched by four. Come on, dude, it's gonna counteract my end word from the beginning of the show, all of our game is out. Come on, dude, they were floating back up. Yeah, that's appalling. No, James floating back up. Yeah. That's appalling. No, James, the main homosexuality is appalling.

Starting point is 00:22:07 No, you touched my arm, bro. I love homosexuals. No, he's saying. I think they're normal. He's saying it's appalling. He's appalling. He's appalling. It's appalling.

Starting point is 00:22:17 He's appalling. He's appalling. It's appalling. He's appalling. He's appalling. He's appalling. He's appalling. He's appalling. He's appalling. He's appalling. He's appalling. He's appalling. Yeah, what we started I want we want to we started rolling a little bit at the stand

Starting point is 00:22:29 Joe's you sort of training has become the guy the guy who you The guy your shadow boxes in your face Why are you trying to eat a meal and fucking punches are coming? I'm just trying to connect with you, bro. Yeah, I want to be friends. I know fuck yeah Lewis is the worst I'll have guests over and he'll start shadow boxing me and then want to take me down in front. I have to know we're friends. Can I tell you? You're trying to beat me up.

Starting point is 00:22:49 I was taking a dump and I was looking at the stories on Instagram for fully loaded festival, burger crisis thing in one of the videos, as them scanning and just seeing the packets of Lewis going like, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss I can randomly shadow box. I believe that. Well, that's the most glueist fucking video. You know, you used to get in my head, Vos used to have that joke. He was like, sometimes you'll see a guy like a comedian before he's about to go on stage. So he'll be at the side of the stage.

Starting point is 00:23:10 He'll be shadow boxing. And then he goes, he was like, yeah, that guy's gonna stink. And it got in my head. And for like, yeah, I've been doing kind of 18, 19 years now. Like, I heard that super early in my career. So I would stop myself from shadow box your whole body would want you to do. And maybe two years ago I gave in, I was like, fuck boss.

Starting point is 00:23:30 That old heck. I just shout about every time now. Hey, how you doing? How'd you do? How'd you do on the show? Great. It was awesome. Great.

Starting point is 00:23:37 Yeah. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun. It was fun. Yeah. What a time, dude. What a time, dude. Where it's the fucking man, dude. Literally the man. But one of the best dudes in the world.

Starting point is 00:23:44 I mean, so sweet takes care of you Yeah Why are you saying like that why are you saying it like that? Why are you saying I said nothing? Yeah, but you said it with a weird thing Are you every you took a sip and then put it down and look at yeah, what and that was weird? Yeah, nothing the sip down look at Joe. What birds the man? Burke, you know wrong. What? I know Lewis. You're losing right now. I'm not losing. We don't. Hey Joe. Where's the bomb, Dan? What is that? What is this? We're trying to start a beef? Can I ask a question about fighting by the way?

Starting point is 00:24:18 Please. Please. You think this is a funny bit? You know, they have like MMA fights. The coach is in the corner, like coaches corner. You're anticipating a bomb? Cause this is good. This is good stuff. I do this in my act, bro. All right. Let me just seal this up on here. Like both, it's the only sport where both athletes

Starting point is 00:24:38 can hear the coach. Like he's like, took choke him. And the guys like, yeah, but it's like play. It's like secret plays him. All right, what about the guys like the NBA? Yeah, but that's like play. It's like secret plays. 39, 39. He's literally yelling go for his neck and both athletes can hear it. That's funny.

Starting point is 00:24:53 Yes, but no, the difference is you're tuned into your corner. You're not really tuned into it. If you're tuned into their corner, you're fucked because you're not listening to your coach. There's a reason you're having connection with your coach. They're actually telling you shit to do. Well, if you're trying to listen to their corner over there, I'm gonna be wrong, I'm sure they do,

Starting point is 00:25:07 like say something, look, it's fucking next open and then you fucking tuck your chin, I'm sure it happens. So you mean listen to their corner too? No, but you're really, I feel like- Go for his neck! He just said, you're actually hearing defense. Raise your hand if you've fought before. Oh jeez.

Starting point is 00:25:23 I fought in my head. No, no, no, no, actually actually fought actually I hope fucking life in Los Vegas at LSM a near against my own Wearing shirt in the Most of the female comedy Really were you running Bits? No, no, you were running a bit. You're doing a bit. It's interesting.

Starting point is 00:25:50 All right, that would point to you right now. That was 100% Joe checking a premise. Yeah. And what it goes? It goes. That's pretty, yeah, birds, birds, nice guy. You guys, um, you guys watch this MMA. You guys watch this UFC.

Starting point is 00:26:04 Think our coaches in there. It's not a premise, but if it were, would you guys, you guys watch this MMA. You guys watch this UFC. Think our coach is in there. It's not a premise, but if it were, would you think, eh, that's a pretty clever thing? Yeah, but Tom Papa has the same joke. What is it? I don't know, I just wanted to say. MMA is weird. Have you seen it?

Starting point is 00:26:16 It's crazy. I like bread. I was wondering for the bread reference. Fuck that boo. Lewis. Yes. Before you got here, I was talking to the boys about we're trying to do the promo video.

Starting point is 00:26:28 Oh yeah. I'm trying to get that done. Don't get in my way. I'm actually positive now and feeling good. I don't want to go back to the negative space. And for you to tell me that they're mad at me because I still get it. I wasn't mad at all.

Starting point is 00:26:39 I was just saying I wasn't going to do it on my birthday. We can. I was enjoying my birthday. Happy birthday, dude. Thank you. Dan turned 40. We did, we did connect. I was enjoying my birthday. Happy birthday, dude. Thank you. Dan turned 40. We did, we did connect. I was on his birthday. I wished him happy birthday.

Starting point is 00:26:48 We did connect. I wish you on your birthday. You didn't. You called me. Check your DMs, dude. DMs. DMs. No, you check your comments, man. My comments.

Starting point is 00:26:56 Oh, you think you comments. Wow. The comment of what? He was on Vine. Yeah. He said your DM on Vine. Check your Myspace comments, dude. Dude, I would have sh** if Robert Kelly wished me a happy birthday on Myspace, man. I would have shit if Robert Kelly wished me a happy birthday on Myspace.

Starting point is 00:27:07 I'd be like, what the fuck? What was in your top eight and your last Myspace? I asked you. You called me. I talked to you. And then I go, yeah, it was my birthday yesterday. You were, oh, happy birthday. I didn't go, oh, like it was a problem.

Starting point is 00:27:20 I went, oh, there's two different o's. It was more than two o's. Yeah, but in our conversation, oh. I didn't go, oh, there's two different O's. There's more than two O's. Yeah, but in our own conversation, oh, I didn't go. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you did. I did, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Did it the you know what dude? There are kids what is that there's two owes and there's two zeros and they're on that side of the table The biggest notice fan notice fan number one. Yeah Yeah, baby. I'm a big LSU baseball Does she go to LSU? Are you the your mind dude careers livy?

Starting point is 00:28:27 Joe Dude, career's livid, don't you? Oh, shit. So, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. Which one do you see on again? I'm just gonna start at very sweaty. Yeah, to the ACI. I'm about to run, actually that's why I was late. Because you ran, you were very angry. Can I tell you, can I tell you something? I did Lewis's podcast one time and he was 45 minutes late. And then we get in there and he's like, yeah, I was watching the

Starting point is 00:28:43 Revenant this morning and I was like, that's why you're late. You watch fucking Leo get attacked by a bear. Well, I had to sit and gas digital. I watched a bunch of homeless kids ask me what I've been up to since I've left the bonfire. Has James ever been late for school? Not very often a couple times. Does he walk in or you're being a pus teacher?

Starting point is 00:29:02 He's like, time starts when I walk in. Mathwits for no one. We're not live. Is he late? Social studies isn't live. He's been late maybe two or three times because of me. Because a couple minutes. Does he get mad at you? No, I get mad at you.

Starting point is 00:29:17 She's late because of himself. He's dilly dally. No, that's push. Kids like to deal with that. No, there's no way James is late because of himself. As much as I've ever been there. Every time he sees a man, he touches his hair as his luscious. We never get out who can't get down the road. Oh my god Oh my god, what do you do?

Starting point is 00:29:32 Max is never been late. We're never late. Never late once. No, shut up. We're not late. Max is not been late to school one time Nope, Bob In five years. He's only been to school five years. Yeah, what are you guys holding them back? He's been for greater with the kindergarten and fourth grade You see he's 10. What about preschool? What about pre-kate? What about pre-pre-kate? Yeah, there's no kids already in school. I didn't go to pre-pre-pre-pre-kate. I didn't go to preschool either. Yeah, bro. That was the thing from our generation. They were just they were like, I was looking. That was an up and E.

Starting point is 00:30:01 Fuck and tell you what to preschool. No, my parents worked. Sorry to be somewhere. Yeah, that was a pretty school They that was like his parents pre-latchy. Yeah, that's what it was all to By the way, it was straight drop off like laundry Here's my kid. I was like where I was like I don't know what shape. Sorry. They'd return you more clean and folded Asian woman fucking pressing me all day. Yeah, I just went to daycare as well. No, it's pretty school No, man. He did he go to preschool. No, he did I went to kindergarten. That was my first full-rate. Yeah, I just went to daycare as well. No, it's pretty school. No, man, did he go to preschool? No, he didn't. I went to kindergarten.

Starting point is 00:30:27 That was my first four-rate. Yeah, me too. I was sad. Oh, no, Max did go to kindergarten. No, everyone got to go to school. I think you got kicked out for biting somebody. Excuse me? In kindergarten or in preschool?

Starting point is 00:30:37 He bit someone. He was a bider. Well, he just takes out for his mother. Okay. He's not about damage, is it fucking forced wind out of my soul? I got me. It's not about them because it's fucking forced wind out of my soul. I got me to, but it got me in the wrong spot. I want to hand with something before.

Starting point is 00:30:52 Guess what? When you used to throw stuff at each other. Oh, yeah, dude, but I tell people that I was like, I'm so nice to the people that opened for me on the road. Like, and I get a little hazing and then I feel bad. I'm like, am I being too mean? Yeah. Bobby would just throw things at me.

Starting point is 00:31:03 Hard, heavy thing. My favorite opening for Bobby moment, where I thought we were all having a moment and everyone got mad at me. It was me, Bobby and Fistuke at Leavety Live, and I was featuring in Fistuke, it was hosting. And we were eating before the show, and we started busting balls, and I took a tomato, and I went, hey, Kelly, and I threw it at her. And everyone went, hey, that's a whole room stop to it. Why did you do that?

Starting point is 00:31:22 And I was like, it's funny. We're throwing shit at Kelly. And everyone got upset at me, and I'd leave leave the room. That's horrible. She got engaged for so many. Kelly is back. Kelly is back. Kelly is back. We have to be the groomsman. What are the groomsman? Oh, dude, if we showed up, Kelly is fat chin at her own wedding. Oh, my God. Do we show up in Australia? And two are wedding. She's like. Oh, I ran from you guys. You know, I've been in aggressive therapy for 10 years. Oh, shut up, you fat bitch.

Starting point is 00:31:52 You want some meat and cheese? Meat and cheese. I'm marrying the guy. The first person I was able to sleep around without waking up screaming. Do you understand what you all did to me? They're like, we're here. We got a bomb that way. We got a working bomb that way. We throw the bomb down at her while she's giving her bow. We start playing her set from the crew. Jen, the standard I had a horrible hair on a ditch and for saving years,

Starting point is 00:32:16 because you got to hide still. I had to hit her with the crickets at the vows. I get the shit kicked out of my head at gasping. Her best man. I'm going to hit it with the crickets at the vows. Get the shit kicked out of my hand at gasping. Oh, her best man. You never leave Kelly alone. She's never enough.

Starting point is 00:32:35 That's the angriest I've ever been on the podcast. Oh my God, would she hit the crickets on you? We were trying to get her to do one of her bits. And she was like, it's too weird, it's too awkward. And I was like, I'll do one of my bits to make you feel more comfortable. And then you's too awkward. And I was like, I'll do one of my bits to make you feel more comfortable. And then you just said it.

Starting point is 00:32:47 I did a bit. And then she hit, and then she went, and then she went, she went, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. She hit the sound bar on Go. And it was the only time in a podcast I've ever seen like an action movie where Joe like cracked his neck and he's like,

Starting point is 00:33:00 play a set. And then we just fucking, just dominated it. Bobby even looked at her and he goes, no, I can't protect you. She hit that freaking noise. And you're like, Kelly, I can't protect you against these. I didn't protect her. No, you said that.

Starting point is 00:33:13 I can't protect you after. He was vicious to her. We all were. We can just get an AC on here. That'd be fucking. I'm getting hit. Why? I'm feeling it.

Starting point is 00:33:22 Wow. Okay, well, uncycle it. Yeah, maybe we can we take the thing off. Yeah, we're kind of yeah recycle Is it on? When you get near it when a hot Mexican gets in here, it turns on. Yeah, anyways, Well, congratulations. Yeah, Kelly for stuka. Congratulations. Someone's gonna send this to her. You think she loves us, I hate this. I think she likes us. I think there's probably a little bit of indifference. I think there's been some time. Has anybody talked to her?

Starting point is 00:33:50 No. She reached out to me when my HBO special came out in 2019 with a very nice match. You did an HBO special? Yeah, 2019. It's streaming right now on Max. No shit. Max, your son?

Starting point is 00:34:00 Max. Max, he's got a shirt on. With a fucking, I got that's a good joke right there. No, that's not fun. Um, no, that's not a fun. No, that's not fun. Okay, let's on there pretty good.

Starting point is 00:34:14 As it should be. That special was great at the taping. Did you guys go to the taping? No. Where was it? Here's at the Barry ballroom. In New York City. I think I was taping.

Starting point is 00:34:23 You were there in the picture, Bobby, isn't it? Yeah. Damn, dude. Yeah. I think you're birthday all over again. I know. What do you want me to do, fucking be there for your friend? Yeah, I'm a headliner.

Starting point is 00:34:31 I was away. Bobby, I take it all the time. I take it during the week. You're, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, I was always like, You been a headliner since the minute I met you, you're supposed to be such a headliner at this point where you're rich enough where you can just do what you want to do.

Starting point is 00:34:43 You can just fly, play. Yeah, you fucked up. I get it. I can't. I can't. Napar Gatsy. They might see. I have these guys. We can do what they want to do. I could. I could. I asked Andrew. I was like, Charles, do scanfish. Just like show up. He's like, do it. I'll really see if I can. I was like, Andrew, you can't do whatever you want to do. You're doing a rena. You have a jet. Yeah. You can just come. You isn't have a jet. I think well, he's not alone. But he flies private private. Okay fine, but he doesn't own a jet I can fly private you can fly private yeah, probably got no money and being massive debt

Starting point is 00:35:16 He probably is one of those cards that they have at those private airports We just go that's how you get the you just give them this like membership card And then you can get that card then you have money I'm not not much money. You got money not like that. You got money. Yeah Not private dude private like it's like $10,000 more than that. It's more just charter. It's not that much It's more than $10,000. It's like 25. Yeah. 25. Yeah. Oh yeah, we definitely win 10,000 dollars just for first class to California sometimes.

Starting point is 00:35:50 I don't think it's that. You slide. No, it is. You slide first all the time. No, I fly first. If I'm flying like less than two, three hours. I don't know, say what you said. Like I don't, I don't ever splurge when I go to like LA or if I go to Europe, because it's just thousands of dollars.

Starting point is 00:36:06 If I would have miles, do you have miles? I'm taking a trip to Greece in three weeks in my girl. And you're going everywhere. Yeah, I just fuck all over the world. I didn't pay for it. I fucking, it was my miles. I've never cashed miles once ever. How many miles do you have?

Starting point is 00:36:21 I mean, it was like 200,000 miles. It was bloody, I got 1.3 million. You literally, you can go on a trip around the world right now. I have 1.3 million sky miles. I've never expired. Like George Clooney, where you get that card. I don't know. They don't.

Starting point is 00:36:33 They don't use them. I don't know. I have used them. I was at 1.5 and I used 200. Anytime I fly the West Coast, I dump my miles. I use my miles once a year on a trip. I got to do that. I think I'm going to do that.

Starting point is 00:36:44 That's what I did with the... I think... I am ex points, too. I use those. Yeah, year on a trip. I gotta do that. I think I'm gonna do that. That's what I did with the... I think MX points, too. I use those. Yeah, MX points at the same time. Can I tell you right now? Bobby Kelly is the one that set me up with all this because when I first stopped waiting tables, you were like, get an American Express card with Sky Miles

Starting point is 00:36:57 and you double down by all your flights on that American Express. It'll help your credit. You'll get Sky Miles and it's fucking awesome. I had talent on it. Yeah, Sky Miles. I do, you do United every time and I do Hilton almost every time I've been out booking the hotel. Fucking United. Yeah, Delta dude.

Starting point is 00:37:12 Fuck up Delta live. Delta live. United stinks. It's. It's a bus. Jersey fucking. Airlines. Fucking awesome.

Starting point is 00:37:20 I'm sorry guys. How would you take a grayhound? You fucking yeah, you know what you just did. You just united us in hating you Oh, it's your wife, hold on what's up, baby? So don't really just put my It's the seller don't oh, oh, hey don't you want to be a It's the rings I mean the red you're you came up with the idea

Starting point is 00:37:43 Don't you know with your husband. I know I know you were gonna learn it. Don't. You didn't know it was with your husband, I know, I know. I know. I, she doesn't listen to me. I fucking told her I was coming down. What is happening? God, I'll call you one of that. Don, don.

Starting point is 00:37:53 Wow. That's a very flirty laugh. Don. That was a very like. How many, how many miles do I have on Delta? I don't know, I have Get off my phone dude How many do you think I have? Don what I have a fly united

Starting point is 00:38:13 No, I'll see I love you, bye. All right. I'll cut you back Well, we're a little concerned about that laugh was that's Lewis's phone. I'll tell you right now Katie laughs like that to Lewis We're having a long talk. Yeah, we're having a wife here. First of all, God has a great sense of humor Yeah, so just Katie, but that wasn't a sense of humor. What do you fucking do? What are you applying Joe take this? Just first of all she just called Lewis's phone direct yeah Because why giggly Focal Joe take the Yeah, because Joke Joke First of all, Lewis, I'm worried me and Lewis our families hang out. I don't know if you guys have an arrangement

Starting point is 00:38:50 I don't know what life style you're into don drops max off at Lewis's house all the time listen Whatever you got to use for your lifestyle is fine. We accept it my one question Joe and I you think you think whatever you guys Have Lewis done with the pool together alone Lewis and Don in the pool with nobody else Lewis has never been No, sir It's twice What Dawn says about Lewis What does your back my back? I don't know what kind of mask

Starting point is 00:39:21 Now this is where what kind of love you have I know don't love me because she wouldn't allow me to like be with her child alone so much. I know she loves you because I just heard her giggling on your phone. You're like, God, dude, I think she's doodling in her journal about you right now. I think she's diddling in something. Whoa. Okay, you want Don to get hit?

Starting point is 00:39:36 Is this what you want? You want Don to get a fucking whack right in the cheek? Is this what you want? Because what was that fucking laugh, Don? Little wife swap. Come on, Bob. I swear. Would you go? You want, you want my- What was that fucking left on Little wife swap come on Bob You what you would code to the house is Where you so you go I don't like your house you could have my my shovel ass wife

Starting point is 00:40:02 Oh, I mean, oh, don't touch. Did we see Bobby and Grease? I love Don. I love Don, but let me say something. Lewis's girlfriend's ass. I looked at Max. She's walking by, Max is like this.

Starting point is 00:40:15 Damn, dude, Bobby's, Bobby's. Bobby, Max, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Jenna, it's so good to turn James straight. I couldn't think of his name. James was like, that was a luscious hair who's ass. Oh my God, a luscious ass. Oh,'t think of his name. James were that luscious hair. Who's ass? Oh my God. Luscious ass.

Starting point is 00:40:27 A badonka dumb. I'll put up with the smell. I mean, you but yay, but you. Slimey. Worth it. But Max checked out Lewis's girlfriend's butt. Do you feel proud as that is a dad? Oh, maybe so happy.

Starting point is 00:40:42 You're like, yeah, right? No, she was, she, you know, she's, she's a professional dancer. Her body's like, yeah, particular. She, there's, there's no way for her to not make her body look like. Yeah, don't do professional mom. She's a hot mom.

Starting point is 00:40:52 Right. She has jiggly elbows and a kind of flat ass. But I love that. I like a small ass. I like a small ass. I like a, I like a, I like a, I like a, I like it. I like small, I like a small ass. Like a child talking himself into it. I like a small what I like I like I kill I like small back

Starting point is 00:41:05 I like talking himself into it. I like joy the fact that things are softer than I used to I enjoy that now. I like biting an elbow. I and it doesn't hurt But she'll she's like should I like you know, where should I work? Because she is like a bikini. I was like it's not a bikini. It's not a bikini. It's a It's upper asshole. It was a thong. It's a thong. Yes, it's a thong It's a shaw. It's an own non thong bikini. I can't wait to move to New Jersey Well, you guys still be together in four months. Yeah, I'm moving to Jersey. Yeah, dog Don't move to Jersey. Move to Westchester. I gotta I gotta realize that I'm moving up the Westchester

Starting point is 00:41:38 Tell him not Jersey. I'm going up to Westchester. Why? You'll always be late and it's Jersey Westchester, dude No, I'm going to go in the dry. I want to be in the ocean Jersey. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. You'll Why? You'll always be late and it's Jersey. Westchester, dude. No, I'm going to, I want to be in the ocean. Jersey is going to be in the river. Oh, you'll never get to the, pools and rivers, dude. Pools and rivers. I went through the process of moving out and I was looking in Westchester

Starting point is 00:41:54 and I was looking in Jersey. Westchester is 60, 70% more expensive for, yeah, cool. Go fucking up to Westchester and spend money on a fucking house that, so make you money I'm when I said right look at my neighborhood and look at what my the house that I'm in for sold for five years Going looks what is worth today. Get the fuck out of here. Don't tell me and then you know who lives there these guys

Starting point is 00:42:16 I want to be near the ocean and Lewis Lewis is a tremendous father. I'm a friend. I love James I got a poor you want to come on back and swim tonight? I can't wait to hang with Max. I can't. I can't. Back Max. Look at Katie's butt. And he's going to be like, it's not like Lewis's girlfriend. No, your girl has got a butt. Can I talk to you? Your girl has the butt. I like your real quick Max.

Starting point is 00:42:33 Yo, your Katie has the butt I like. It's a regular butt. Like a, I don't like a big butt. Big butts get hot. Katie has a good muscular butt. Yeah, muscular butt. Her butt is, I mean, it's pretty wild. Yeah, it's pretty far. Yeah, Max, Max, Max was into it. is, I mean, it's pretty wild. Yeah, it's pretty far.

Starting point is 00:42:45 Yeah, max, max, max was into it. Dude, max being into its hilarious just hypnotized. I, she walked by and I saw a Mack go. I guess. And then we're in the car. We're in the car later that night. I swear to God, this he went dead. Lewis's girlfriend.

Starting point is 00:42:59 He's like 70s horny. We were in the car going home. We're in the car going home and Max is just chilling. And he goes, Lewis did good. I went, what? He goes, he did good, dude. The other girls were all right, but. It's good, but.

Starting point is 00:43:15 Lewis, this one is the one. He did good on this one. Sweet God. That feels like you're dating. This feels like Godfather too with the phone. We passed around. It's a great film. You guys want to check it out. I'm going gonna be Michael Coyon with it, ready?

Starting point is 00:43:27 Yeah. Yeah, Max was very happy. He was like, Lewis did it. He, this one's a good one. Yeah. Yeah, the other ones, he goes, the other ones, the other ones were all right, but this one, this is the one. Can I ask on the logo, what's the orange thing in the Z,

Starting point is 00:43:43 the top right Z? Is that a good one? That's a mistake. Because it's on both, I thought it was on the TV, what's the orange thing in the Z, the top right Z? Is that a good mistake? I thought it was on the TV, but it's on bulls. It looks like a nut. In the top Z, all the way to the right, there's an orange smudge. I want to build a little smudges down there too. It's like a speck. Specks.

Starting point is 00:43:57 It's a mistake. I don't think it's a joke. That's also not the one we decided on. Hey, dude. We all decided on another one. You just decided that one. Yeah, the 80s one. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:06 Bobby, you just chose, you just picked and chose. Yeah. I didn't get that one. You did. Hey, dude. Louis sent me. You were late. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:15 You were late. I wasn't late. I was on time. Guys, I just want to let you know, they don't do this on Protector Parks. They don't fight like this. What is that? The reason we're doing this is,

Starting point is 00:44:23 why would you do this? Let's just be straight up about it. We're taking them down. We are. We take down the foot. We are. What are we? We are the wish version of fucking protect our partners. We are we are we are we are protect our parks at home. Louis. By the time we're now with this pod all four of us are going to leapfrog all four of them guaranteed. First of

Starting point is 00:44:43 our own. The protective park is great. I love fucking Joe and all those guys. You fuck Joe. I fucking love We're supposed to go to leapfrog all four of them guaranteed first of all Protective park is great. I love fucking Joe and all those guys you fuck Joe. I fucking love fucking Joe Rogan and I had sex with he fucks you absolutely fine. He's how he fucks me look at that Sometimes he makes me fuck it and I like that boy. I really bring in that group down Strong I'm the Ari of the group. I'm Ari. You're Shane. You're Mark and you're Joe. I'll take that.

Starting point is 00:45:14 So we are the wish version of again. Are you saying I'm diet Shane? That's norm and light. That's Splendor Rogan. No, those guys are all fucking Hollywood assholes. We're fucking real deal We're doing this We're doing this because we want it. We're doing this 10 years too late when we could have monetized it We could have been the original yeah, we would it we they would have looked like the rip in us off

Starting point is 00:45:39 But it was it was actually told me why we're not successful. It's because oh, yeah, we all know now We've all seen the reasons we're all nuts. Why aren't we successful? Well, because you guys are unwilling to get together and do a fucking trailer to promote this. Here's my problem with that. That's why. It came down to the weekend and I was celebrating my birthday.

Starting point is 00:45:53 No, this is a month ago, we had to- Yeah, it was not a month ago. That was the week three weeks ago, maybe. Wasn't through. And I said, all you gotta do, I was like, Joe said he's willing to come in before a spot, just pop over to your house. I was like, 10 minutes it'll take.

Starting point is 00:46:03 I was like, literally, I was gonna have a guy, but here's the thing on your schedule Here's the bullshit about 10 minutes. It's gonna take 10 minutes. I told you the fact here in it I told you that doesn't factor in I'm the only one in this situation that has to travel somewhere You guys were already together and decided to shoot something right what no we weren't together We've got to separate it when we were shooting it separately You guess it did fall in you Joe to be at dance place. So I have to be the one the travel. Oh my god. Travels. Travels light. You had a pop into his apartment. It's a work city. And it wasn't in like a greed upon it. I was thrown on us. I asked. Hey, we're doing this. No, I asked and you guys agreed. I said, I'll try to find the time. And we said, we didn't try to find the time. And then you know, you know, you know, you know,

Starting point is 00:46:41 what? You know what? We got parts like I have an idea for trailer what happens with him we do seven people all roll around him every Comic all do it all do it for us go right now but insane every he has a few more followers It doesn't matter the reason I get followers to speak when I met birdie had no fucking followers He was doing a hundred people at levity life when I met bird right what year did you meet bird like 13 years ago Also bird tells a story. He's like he's like when I about Louis? He's like, he goes, maybe 14 years ago. He goes, Bert's version of the story when he met me as I said, my name's Louis Chegom, as I'm the Puerto Rican Rattlesick and friends with Bobby Kelly,

Starting point is 00:47:13 which is hilarious thing to just like open with. Yeah. Didn't happen. Wasn't called the Puerto Rican Rattlesick until you know what dude. Yeah, yeah, and it was way after the fact that you were, yeah, but it's an inside into Bert's mind. He just made up his own story about me and stick that's how So you would say yeah, he's lawyer the shit out of that you go so you would say that

Starting point is 00:47:39 I don't want to be part of any fucking what trying to take over this how we take over take over. Yeah, we got you back Joe What are you doing? We're going to have to protect our parks. Oh, yeah, fuck Shane Gillis Mark Joe Joe I don't agree with the fucking Logan's a good guy who does a lot for comedy Logan's great, I love Logan

Starting point is 00:48:10 You're so badass and you just said fuck Joe Rogan I don't say fuck Joe You did not Joe's a badass Joe's a badass Joe's a new social fucking Logan Joe's a fuck

Starting point is 00:48:21 Logan Joe's a Why you guys make it so fucking out? And I don't want any of those four to promote it. Whoa. You're gonna need, hey, can I talk to you real quick? You're gonna need all four of those. I'll really like it on the get.

Starting point is 00:48:31 I don't need any of those four. Hey, I talk to you right now. If just Shane alone plugs that thing, you're gonna be, we really need you to be in the money. I got, I got Lewis Bobby and so do I probably. Oh, buddy, it is collectively, I don't know, 320,000. It's right, yeah, we're together. The same three guys.

Starting point is 00:48:46 There's literally 20 people that don't follow all three. Yeah. And then they go, by the way, I saw it on Lewis's, then I saw it on Bobby's, then I saw it on Soda. It's annoying. And all the dance fans hate me because I took over the bonfire. You're not dead. And you're like, guys, come on.

Starting point is 00:49:03 We're all the same. I guess it all came from the same place. No, we're gonna block you're like, guys, come on. We're all the same, you guys did all came from the same place. No, we're gonna blow up. This is gonna be the biggest podcast. This is gonna be the biggest. The regs. And the regs with the Z. That's like, whoa!

Starting point is 00:49:13 I don't know, is that safe? That's safe to do. Spell stuff with Z. Yo, what up, what up? Blu, blu, blu, blu. The reg. We really are just fucking boomerangs. Dude, I got it dude the regs

Starting point is 00:49:25 But what is he And then we do the logo 80's nobody ran the regs with a Z by me either. I'm not one thing's been run by me You don't want to show you don't want to do it. You don't want to show up first You don't want to take a train over I did the lighting setup I paid you I personally took money out of my my out. I paid you. I paid you. I personally took money out of my, out of my son's mouth.

Starting point is 00:49:48 Yeah. He really does mouth. He was eating, he was eating money. What do you have to do to be asking? He's using the sleeper old. Son is gay and retarded. He goes, it's time for bed, Max. I'm going to give you the million dollar dream.

Starting point is 00:50:00 My name is James Dad. No, we tried. We tried to coordinate. We talked and we didn't try. And he called you. I went like this. You a rude. I went like this.

Starting point is 00:50:09 You a rude. You a rude to me. I said, I was like, I'll see you guys. You were short. You were short. That I would say. Nope. You were very short.

Starting point is 00:50:17 Yeah, I was in that. That was con. Yeah, and I'm sorry. I was in a bad mood. That was con. Nope. I want to make it clear that I'm diplomatic. That was a little bit short because he goes

Starting point is 00:50:25 Oh, I see guys are gonna it was the day before he goes and you guys are gonna do the promo promo So I guess you guys are my my tone that he's already that you've always that you've always had and you both were passive aggressive I was a little passive aggressive after he was passive aggressive my initial my initial one was a initial one was the initial one said, here it is. Dead air. I'm in. Dan, oh here's a, Dan, Dan and Joe, you guys couldn't figure out a time to get together for 10 minutes. That's not passive.

Starting point is 00:50:58 Which is, again, that's his passive aggressive, because it's not 10 minutes. It's two hours out of my day. No, it's not. It is. No, Joe, you can go before a spot. 10 minutes or a spot, you can pop it at Dan's house and just film it. Dan and Joe, you guys couldn't think you're out of time to get together for 10 minutes and I wrote, nope, nope.

Starting point is 00:51:10 And then he wrote, cool. Imagine. The idea that the four of us are gonna come out of this friends is bananas. But bananas. I mean, we already know that the protector of park guys hate each other. They, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,

Starting point is 00:51:23 they all talk to each other. They all talk to each other. Norman talks about about each other to each other. Norman talks about it on Tuesdays of stories. Joe's told me that several. Yes, listen, subscribe to Tuesdays with stories in the air. You're all the shit talking. Norman goes in the air. Thank you. I can't take the Jew and Shane. Oh, he's not a drinking rabble. Run it. Run it. I'm so sure.

Starting point is 00:51:41 Oh, I get it. You're muscular. If I hate it all, I really really mark, but it does so well I just realized it's actually on the patreon yes, you want to hear it join the Tuesdays It's the $50 a month and on the patreon you'll hear them go you guys should have done the regs We stole the idea from you he said that he did yeah $50 a month $50 a month you can hear Mark fuck is that what do you get as a $50 a month. $50 a month, you can hear Mark. Fuck is that. What do you get as a $50 to show? Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. I get high speed internet for fucking 49.

Starting point is 00:52:09 That's good for us. I'm a bit of a bit, it's not really 50. I was a month. Thank God. You don't have a $50 tier? I don't think so. What's your top tier? If I was a different, I would have a top tier.

Starting point is 00:52:18 That's like fucking. That's Joe and Mark. $5,000 and it's like, I show up at your house and I kiss you on the mouth every month. Don't you have a page book? Hey, what's up? You go, ding-dong, it's up's like I show up at your house that I kiss you on the mouth every month. Don't you have a page? Hey, what's up? There you go. It's up, Dargie.

Starting point is 00:52:27 Open up. All right. Anyway, dude, that was good. Yeah, I know what it was. I'll tell you why. Come on. Kissing was a good. That's how I kiss a man.

Starting point is 00:52:36 You shoulda went, you're actually having. Yeah, I fuck. I fuck. You kiss fuck. I go, what are you doing? Then what do you have in a baby? You're the last one, I mean. You're never getting pregnant. It's not even married. I'm not even married yet. do you have in a baby? You're the last one, aren't you? You're never getting married. It's not even married.

Starting point is 00:52:46 I'm not even married yet. You can't have a baby when you're not married. When you get married. Soon. Whoa. You're not invited? The fuck is this? First off, we haven't even planned it.

Starting point is 00:52:54 Damn. We have no plans. I, in your own brand, do you know when you're gonna ask her? I already did. He asked. What are you talking about? That's all. He can't even get just a terrible friend.

Starting point is 00:53:04 He's a terrible friend. Oh, yeah, wow. You don't even have the morbid obesity anymore for an excuse. Happy, happy birthday. Thanks. Thanks, Bobby. Are you going to have a big wedding? Let's, can we go? Probably going to.

Starting point is 00:53:14 Oh, it's as good as Norman's. Wasn't that a blah? It was a blah. You were there. You were there. Huh? What? You weren't there.

Starting point is 00:53:22 Yes, I was. And Norman's wedding. Are you fucked in the head? We have several pictures of us together. I don't remember that Your wedding was fun. Yeah, you're wetting was much. I mean not the dancing or the food, but like just the people What do you mean the dancing was off the chain dancing was too much? It was a lot You guys a bunch of white people We didn't stop but you could go

Starting point is 00:53:44 white people. Yeah, you guys you got to get stopped. You don't wait. We didn't stop. But you could go. Yeah, the dog was. Oh, okay. Yeah, try to get burger king halfway through. I actually want to crush you to the gas station. I got some nuts and. Yeah, it is. It's a poor. Fuck the guy off. I pray the food gets a poor crisis. Fucking spicy. You know, guys, I got some fun. You throw them on the table. You guys go. If you guys guys good eating and that other stuff. What are you talking about? That food was ace. No, it wasn't. I was saying it like I care. I don't give a fuck about the food.

Starting point is 00:54:12 Alright, we know. We could tell. We could tell you it was good. There's an A-Spread. Yeah. You guys sure you like my food? No. It's like the green one with the funny bone. Yeah, oh cool. was this in my writer? What was the food?

Starting point is 00:54:28 I don't even remember. Gatorade Zero. It was an open bar, you fuck. There's a couple of fucking York peppermint patties that rolled. You had thin mint on the table. It was an open bar. You didn't have cake. We don't even drink.

Starting point is 00:54:44 You didn't have cake. We had cake. We cut the cake. That would be crazy if you didn't have an open bar. You do we don't even drink you didn't have cake we had cake we cut the cake That would be crazy if you didn't have an open bar because you don't drink no We still have you showed up and had buy drinks at Joe's wedding I would fucking taking my gift back. What was your gift? I don't remember but I don't remember mine either I think was doing well enough that it was at least 200 per person What purse oh yeah, you brought Kim we had so many. Oh, yeah, a lot of them have really blown up. Yeah. You want to talk about you. You want with your ex? Talk about wait. Who'd you go with? I grow Hannah. Oh, Hannah burner. Yeah. Hannah burner. I don't even remember her being there. I'm cocked in best-stealing. A lot of, a lot

Starting point is 00:55:18 of, a lot of, yeah, a lot of X's that are doing better than us. Man, everybody's doing bad. Everybody went to that wedding and they all got together while we were talking and they go like, hey, we can outsell. That's what I'm sure we love to hear, right? These guys are fucking losers. Yeah, that was a fun wedding. Great wedding.

Starting point is 00:55:34 But I mean, Kim were dating when we went to your wedding, I think. Yeah. I don't think we're X's. That was saying. No, they're right. No, I brought Kim to Sal's wedding after we did. Oh, Kim's hot. Yeah after we did it. She was my dad. Kim's hot. Yeah, I'm funny.

Starting point is 00:55:47 Yeah. Damn, that was the most I've trapped. I've ever seen Lewis try to get thrown into. He's like, I don't know how to answer. I was watching you go, who's gonna watch this first Kim or the ex? Kim and my girl. Kim, yeah, go.

Starting point is 00:56:05 Subscribe to her podcast. So, boy, you came from then and all she does. You can't, cause you grow jealous of Kim. No, she's not job, but I just wanna be going on fucking podcast, talk about how my exes are. I just talked about my son fucking your son and your banging my wife. Yeah, but that's the arrangement.

Starting point is 00:56:23 These are true, things that are happening in the world. That's the lifestyle you guys live. I just had up dad. What movies this the Bruce was not to be harmed. That was the arrangement Big Lebowski. No Wait a minute Bane said again. Was that Bane? Was that a Bane impression my voices and great? It's not like Bane dude again The Bruce was not to be harmed. That was the arrangement. It's Bruce. Is that a Batman movie? Bruce. No, the Bruce.

Starting point is 00:56:46 The Bruce. The only Bruce I can think of is Batman. Is it a Cohen's brother? No, it's Braveheart. No. Anyways, guys, Wow. Don't forget to check out Protect Our Parks

Starting point is 00:56:56 available now on Spotify. Shane Mark, Ari and Joe, very funny guys, popular. Oh, God, it's great. It really is over. I mean, how much money do you need? At right they all have very popular podcasts and then they did one together. Yeah, it's overkill Yeah, there was a there was a we're the underdogs. That's Apollo Creed. We're Rocky. Yeah watch this the older dogs you mean Yeah, that was funny. I mean it wasn't what he left but

Starting point is 00:57:23 Yeah, that was funny. I mean it wasn't what he left but No, I think they're rocky. No, we're rocked. We're spider reek. We're wrong Yeah, what do you mean the whole new podcast? They're champions of the world. They're hot. I was back again. Was spider-reco. They're hot. They're big. They're Apollo, Creed.

Starting point is 00:57:50 But we are still spider-reco. We're not even in there. Chris, thing is rocky. Yeah. Not even, yeah. What are you going to do? So what? Who wants all of this?

Starting point is 00:58:00 Who wants to be rich? Who wants to sell out a show? Yeah, dude. I love showing up in the wait staff going like, I got cut. I asked Chad GPT to show up at show time and there's plenty of parking spots. You could park right in front.

Starting point is 00:58:15 And you can't let the MC who's driving into the club know that it hurts, we got like, that's a big part of it. And they always gonna do this. Now I did. And I love the local soccer teams playing tonight. Yeah, the MCs I was like, yeah, your Thursdays are always bad here My agent trying to spin that condensing the show into one is good. He's like this is good I'm like, okay, it doesn't sound great. I can't wait to tell you guys this. This is the one that hurt the most

Starting point is 00:58:43 No, it's story this is not getting this that hurt the most. This one hurt. I know what story this is. See, you're not getting this and protect your part. This one hurt so fucking much. So I did the blue room in Springfield, Missouri, right? Great room. Ticket tells a dog shit. You know how you get those advance from your agent and they're like, here's what you stole this week.

Starting point is 00:58:58 I'm gonna ask for my Detroit numbers right now. I'm gonna give them to you guys, motherfucker. I'm telling you right now, I got those Springfield numbers and it bummed me out for an afternoon. We're like, Katie had to rub my back at one point because I was going like this. I mean, 40 a show. 40 tickets a show.

Starting point is 00:59:15 It sits 250. And she's just going like, hey, it's Springfield. It's the third market in Missouri. And I'm like, I know, I just fucking, so we go, I know ticket sales are low. Fly to Kansas City, drive down to Springfield. I get to Springfield, I get to my hotel, I go upstairs and there's like 11 texts from random comics. Not like you guys are my, you know, like comics that I'm friends with, but I don't really talk to and they all screen

Starting point is 00:59:41 grabbed the same promo. Oh no, free tickets. Dog? You get it on right now. No, I never shake gamas this week. I would. This is about to ruin every story you've ever told. Lewis? Because Joe knows this.

Starting point is 00:59:54 And I said, I sent this to Joe and Joe. Oh, God. Please. All right. He's not in book. I'm so bad. It's worse than you're thinking. I'm going to show it to Lewis.

Starting point is 01:00:06 Hold on, I'm gonna show it to both of you and then explain, just read it. Don't write. Just read what it is. No. And then I'll copy it. And then I'll explain. It hurts so much. I said it to Dan Saint, it's an all-timer.

Starting point is 01:00:30 I said it to Dan Saint, it's a man of Dan Saint, it goes like this, he goes, whoa, he goes, whoa, that hurt my feelings. Yeah, let me say. It's so bad. I'm sweating it. It rolls. So what happened?

Starting point is 01:00:44 It's so fucking intense. I'm gonna. So what happened? Oh, fuck it. I'm gonna show you guys. It's a promo and you're... I haven't saved my background. Oh, fuck it. So the comedy club put on Instagram. It wrote, Matt Wright fans did a chance to see Dan Soder. A chance.

Starting point is 01:01:03 And Matt Wright. Anyone who buys a ticket to see Dan Soder and Matt Wright. Anyone who buys a ticket to see Dan Soder this weekend will be issued a raffle ticket for a chance for a T.C. man of life in July. Each person in attendance to a show will be entered in a chance to win. It was a raffle ticket. It wasn't even another ticket. It was a raffle ticket. Dude, I saw that and it was such a good punny that I was like

Starting point is 01:01:31 I mean you'd be better off just going and getting homeless people and put it in the room. Dude, that was in the soloplex I was like I used that word twice this podcast. Thanks Bobby. I mean the idea of like the crowd being filled with people that are just there Like the crowd being filled with people that are just there hoping by the ABC Matt and every show I made sure when a joke would hit ago Gotta hope you guys went Matt rife And you would hear them laugh and acknowledgement laugh Oh, like, was it packed? The numbers got they went on numbers got there. I mean, I'm not like I'm not lying. Maybe I'll start buying Matt rife tickets and raffling

Starting point is 01:02:03 It doesn't even have to You can't buy a good look affording them. Did I figure it out? We all fucking so not like they don't start buying Matt right tickets and raffle You can't look affording them did I'll figure it out You know there's a way to do it. It was it was you don't have to have the tickets in there Yeah, when they love honestly in win and honestly like good for that guy that he's doing so well that it's a fucking raffle ticket I like Matt right I did never met him but he's doing so low guy nice guy But listen that club doing that say something though., but he's doing so nice guy nice guy, but listen, can we that club doing that say something though? It was really nice guy. Super nice guy. Yeah, talk to him on the on the intern net. Sure.

Starting point is 01:02:34 Wait, you really? Uh, wait, Cheap Dan Soto tickets. Dude, that's right there. Dude, game time. A cheap Dan Soto tickets cheap, right tickets, but it has his photo. Your ad is his photo. No, cause they Googled both of us. Wow. Yeah, I don't do date, which so funny is the guy, the guy was like, hey, you got it.

Starting point is 01:02:52 Can you do morning TV? And I went, yeah, I saw the promo you ran. And he went, oh, like he was like, cause he was down by the time I looked at it. So he, he did. My agent was getting calls from other agents They're going like do that's the wildest thing I've ever since it's yeah, like I get the clubs perspective Like I gotta sell tickets, but you're like guys, but what cost oh, I'll never go back there again

Starting point is 01:03:16 That's terrible. I'll never go back there again That's terrible and I don't know we have the biggest podcast in America now. Well, it's funny is I put that out on Instagram I wrote springfield. This is your only that out on Instagram. I wrote Springfield. This is your only shot to see me. I'm not coming back to this place. And you still been in it? And you still been sell out? No.

Starting point is 01:03:30 They didn't care. Bobby, I was selling like fucking 20. Springfield, Missouri doesn't give a fuck about me. So I'm not, but it was like, dude, I got there. I'm using it. It's all those things you see and you just start laughing. You're like, I'm doing that. I'm gonna do that.

Starting point is 01:03:42 I'm doing the same thing. For what city? All of them. Yeah, you're like, I'm gonna use it all. I'm gonna do that do it. I'm doing the same thing for what city all of them Yeah, you're gonna use it all I'm gonna get one Matt right right? Right I'm gonna get one Matt right take it and raffle that off because you have to give the prize But like guys if you buy tickets to see me our retire next year. I'm done. It was so far This kid sold out a world tour in a day. Yeah, yeah shut down ticket master But here's I don't understand and I'm not saying this to be negative because I like the kid and I'm happy for which means you're gonna say something negative

Starting point is 01:04:07 No, no, it's not negative. I just don't understand how he came out of nowhere like I've never seen him in New York Usually you'll see somebody's Yorkies and back and forth in LA. That's old school ways. Okay, the new school ways You just you can you don't really was New York or LA and then that's he's sort of headlining and making real money Comuillet. See him around well, you see him around headlining. I never really even saw him around headlining that long He's been around he's been doing it a while We've been around like I started Columbia. I just found out this he's that in Columbus He's been doing like 10 years I think I think more than even a little more He started was like because I I think the first time I met him was when I was running a Conan set like 2012 And you said the laugh. Oh wow, there you go, right. I just I only found what's up. I saw him in LA doing spots. I've never seen him

Starting point is 01:04:49 We're getting away from the point which is I don't sell tickets and it's hilarious. I'm trying to I feel bad No, I want to go back to that point because I find it hilarious if you don't sell tickets You should see how little ticket I sell You're fucking mind dude. I did it. I put low ticket warning on a thing recently It was the first time I ever touched those keys. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, Have you ever, I did a club, a black club down in South as somewhere. And I felt bad. I wanted to give the money back a day of the week. Why?

Starting point is 01:05:32 Because they thought they were gonna get me. And we were gonna sell out. And they were gonna get a whole new audience. And they got four college kids, the MC's mom. Really? And a couple. Dude, I showed up. Oh, you really got me another latte? I was kidding.

Starting point is 01:05:50 I don't know. Thanks a lot, baby. And I actually wanted to give the money back. Dude, because they were like, hey man, they actually, they let it out. They were like, yeah, man, we'll see. We thought, we thought we'd bring it down and we'd get a whole new thing,

Starting point is 01:06:05 but maybe we did something wrong. Dude, that's what happened with Youngcars comedy club for me. Dude, they were like, dude, they were like the week before. They were like, so, they were like, you know, we really invested a lot into this show. Really? Dude, I mean, I can't draw on Youngcars. It's a 50 seat or dude.

Starting point is 01:06:19 Dude, it's, dude. It's mostly Puerto Rican people at the mall. Dude, I'm fucking telling you right right now no fans of mine are up there It was like eight Puerto Ricans from the Bronx. You're gonna get one tweet from a guy goes So I love you when I live in Yonkers I felt so bad cuz it was like they gave me a pretty big guarantee for y'all like France close It was the reason I did it because I was like I was like yeah, it's right there to great guarantee It's close to home, but there's no urgency to see us in like the New York, like upstate I do really do Albany.

Starting point is 01:06:46 So here's my favorite one. I did Rochester, I wish I love comedy at the Carlson. It's like one of my favorite clubs now. But he owned a club before that called the comedy club. Yeah, but dobado. Yeah, it says all that time. And then I fucking, I went up there and when I first started headlining like 2012,

Starting point is 01:07:02 I went up there and I sold 15 tickets a show. And on the Saturday show, Sean Murphy was featuring for me. He remembers it. On the Saturday show, there was 25 people total. And he's like, we're gonna collapse into one show. And it's 25 people. And he's trying to make me feel good, like club owners do.

Starting point is 01:07:18 And he goes, I know what it is. The lilac festival. It's this weekend. And I went, you think that's what's stopping? I think a flower is. The lilac festival. This weekend. And I went, I think that's what's stopping. I think a flower is stopping people. It's a big area. So that was, there's nothing worse than an owner being like, what happened and you go, dude, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:07:36 All right, let's move on from inside baseball. I feel everyone's getting bored at home right now. There's just a fun thing to you know, I'm embarrassed myself. Joe, yeah. You got a fucking baby coming, dude. Yeah, Doug. This is crazy. How far is she? October 30th, I'm embarrassed myself. Joe. Yeah. You got a fucking baby coming, dude. Yeah, Doug.

Starting point is 01:07:45 This is crazy. How far is she? Uh, October 30th. I don't know. I can't do the math that way. October 30th. So you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, Terrible in the king. Well, Lewis and tell the channel. He got sincere when he gets to see her. I get fatherhood. The only thing that makes Lewis and Sears fatherhood. Hmm. Maybe right now he's gonna trash me. No, I'm gonna trash you. Yeah, you're really

Starting point is 01:08:12 mean. You don't have a name picked out. I'd rather not say little boy, little boy. Because everyone goes, why I'm banging me? No, he's gonna do that. You didn't tell her your name before. Yeah, I did. I knew my Nick. I wish you had ran up by me. Yeah, we told us. You don't like Maximus. I love Maximus. Yeah, I did I knew my Nick I wish you had ran it by me. Yeah, we told us you don't like Maximus. I love Maximus Yeah, what do you got to name your kid? I'd rather not say just say it. I won't say if we guess it Will you say yes? Sure give us the first letter ready first letter L Lewis You I have Louis J list

Starting point is 01:08:41 I'm a straight list. I'd be great. he gets don't forget the you're not gonna name it Larry Larry Larry list is a Larry list works at a bus people Larry list solves crimes. I'm Larry list. No way Larry list drops double doubles on the Sacramento King No, he doesn't yeah, Larry list was goggles at the wreck when he plays Hey runs and he goes hot spot me. I'm open Larry list when he plays. And he runs and he goes, hot spot me, I'm open. Larry Liss. Hey, where's Goggling?

Starting point is 01:09:07 Larry Liss has one leg longer than the other leg. He's got to get those special shoes. Yeah. Are you guys going to move before you have the baby? No. You guys are going to have the baby. Well, yeah, we are actually moving upstairs at our apartment.

Starting point is 01:09:18 Too bedroom. Too bedroom, baby. And the big two. But you lose that bottom part, right? No, we're keeping the bottom. You get to keep that. We're keeping our office. In fact, when I moved to New Jersey, which I, right? No, we're keeping the bottom. You get to keep that. We're keeping our office. In fact, when I move to New Jersey, which I'm moving to,

Starting point is 01:09:27 so I'm keeping the office. That is free. Don't do it. Why? I'll tell you why. Come to Bestia. I'm going to tell you why. Because when I come down to the city,

Starting point is 01:09:37 you have five different ways to go. When you come from Jersey, the bridge or the tunnel. And by the way, two tunnels and a bridge. And those tunnels are always spot. They's two tunnels and a bridge and those Terrace are always fucks. They're always fun. You could take the verisano. It's a Brooklyn. You could take the Holland You could try the same bridge. You saw it buddy. I'm telling you right now the the sawmill is always clean You guys want to get away from inside baseball. We're doing this but it's beyond Trying to stay the ocean. We want to get away from the ocean Bob. This is an everyday person thing. I want to talk about me and I want to drink

Starting point is 01:10:10 Bud Light. Stop touching your thumbs. See your pointer fingers. It's wealth of God. It's just our all your fingers in the same size. Joe Westchester. Do not go to Jersey. But don't you want to move? You're always like I got a move. I'm learning. He's moving around. He's not even. I'm like a fucking katona. Yeah. Lord, I am Randall. I want you to move to the top.

Starting point is 01:10:30 I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top.

Starting point is 01:10:38 I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top. I want you to move to the top Yeah. Well, you want to say, buddy? You guys saw that. We came at me. What do you think, folks? No, no.

Starting point is 01:10:49 That's crazy. You know what? I showed everyone that I haven't seen it a while. The guy bombing at the comedy village where he goes, look at these biceps. You don't think I can get a girl? You guys remember that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's like a 15 year old clip. Yeah. I brought it up. Was it boss end of the time or was it comedy village? You see it in the back. I want to be near the ocean, Doug. Why? Why?

Starting point is 01:11:10 Why? What do you, that's why? You know what, the ocean. The ocean, the blue. The air, the sea air, the boardwalk, under the boat. How often do you go to the ocean? I have a pool.

Starting point is 01:11:20 He doesn't live near the ocean. You're going to go south Jersey? You're going to go south Jersey? Not south Jersey, red bag. That's where the ocean is. That's where the ocean is, you fucking idiot. He's not south down. South Jersey, You're going to go south Jersey? You're going to go south Jersey? Not south Jersey, Red Bank. That's the ocean. That's where the ocean is, you fucking idiot. It's not south-towning. It's south Jersey, you fucking idiot.

Starting point is 01:11:29 I'm going to go south. The polar is long. I'll be at the Vogel in October. Let's not have another one of these Matt Rife situations by tickets. The Vogel? Where's that? The Vogel Theater in Red Bank.

Starting point is 01:11:39 That's where I'm going to move, dog. I could open for you. What? You'd be a special guest. You wouldn't be no. Whatever the fuck. I call all my open or you. What? You'd be a special guest. You wouldn't be no. Whatever the fuck. I call all my open or special guests. Why?

Starting point is 01:11:48 Because they have special needs. They're fucking, because why am I degrading them? Like, but a special guest is better. He needs them. Well, you call special guests, because they're better comics. Yeah, he needs them on the show. They are special guests.

Starting point is 01:12:02 Thank God they're here. They save the show. You're right, Mike Figg saves my show. He's fucking right. I like Mike Figg. I love Larry's. Yeah, he's great. Fucking fantastic.

Starting point is 01:12:10 You're right folks. By the way, if we're gonna blow this podcast, I learned a lot about podcasts last year. Yeah. You need a guest. No, you don't. No, we don't need guests. We're the guests.

Starting point is 01:12:19 You only have a guest. No, we know. It's a special thing, dude. It's a stealing if you don't have a guest. I bet you that this episode that this gets we we go over 150 K on YouTube. Okay. I'd like to have over 750 K.

Starting point is 01:12:32 That's made. We'll grow it. We'll grow it. First one million. I want Mr. Beast number. Yeah, you better get what guest in one of the protect our parks guys. What the fuck was that? We should start doing Mr. Beast type thing.

Starting point is 01:12:43 Yeah, let's let's perform. Dude, you guys surgery on people. You guys, I need you to create paper plans and fucking whoever throws it the furthest after an hour. I guys, I want it. $600,000 we're gonna give you. I wanna give all of you sight, let me operate on your eyes. That's gonna be the best thing.

Starting point is 01:12:58 That's what Mr. Beast is. Dude, it's Mr. Beast, have you ever heard of this stuff? You don't know, but. We have kids, he is a child. I watch children. I know Mr. this stuff. You don't know, but we have kids. He is a child. Yeah, I watch children. I know Mr. Veeer. No, you got to guess in there. And then we team up on him. We fuck him up.

Starting point is 01:13:10 You know what I mean? We trash him. We create drama. That's how many other L names that would it is? We got to create drama. Lawrence, Larry, Lewis, Lois, Lonnie, Lenny. There's only four L names. Larry, Liz, this is awesome after Larry. Lenny, Lenny, Lenny, Liz. Lenny There's only four L names Larry Lips, this is awesome after Larry

Starting point is 01:13:25 Lenny Lenny Lenny Lips Lenard Lenard Lists Is it Lenny? Ladies love Lenny Lists Is it gonna be Lazarus? Yes Lazarus Lists

Starting point is 01:13:36 Lazarus Lists Lazarus Lists There's Lucifer Debbie Sik Lumpy Lumps Lumps Hey Lumps

Starting point is 01:13:44 Hey Dad can I ask you why you fucking name me this? That'd be great. That'd be great. Lips. Lips. Hey, lips. Hey, dad, can I ask you why you fucking name me this? I'm name him Lips. Lips. Lips. Lips. Lips. Lips. Lips. Lips. Lips. No, pussy lips. Not those lips. Those lips are still terrible. Is that why this podcast never made it?

Starting point is 01:13:58 Mark, as you hid those lips behind the microphone? Podcast did well. It's legendary. Are you kidding? It's one of the originals, dude. And our guest. We don't exist without this. We had shit guests. You need to get big guests. Stop the guest. We're the big guests.

Starting point is 01:14:08 I'm talking about the old days. You know what, dude? It would be us and then you'd bring his like, like, if we did that show, if we did that show, and the birds, if we did that show, if we just kept doing it, it would be the biggest show ever. You know, stop doing it. I didn biggest show ever. We all stopped doing it. I didn't give up.

Starting point is 01:14:26 No, you owned it. We weren't going to continue it. I would have fucking gave half of it. If you would have set, that's half. One issue was, you moved it. I would have gave three. I would have split it between you guys. You didn't move it to night time.

Starting point is 01:14:36 You never asked. You went and did your own thing. You started doing it at night. What the fuck are we not to? Everyone's good comics of Spalbate. Yeah. You could tell headliners don't, you work weekends. Yeah, but you guys don't.

Starting point is 01:14:48 Yeah, exactly. You stay home. And you stay home on weekdays. Listen, I would have split it with all you guys. This is a lot of. You went and did your own thing. You did your own thing. What a good, what a good job.

Starting point is 01:14:57 I'm gonna do a pretty good job for you. What's up, son? How you doing? We're crack or crack or crack. It really did work out better for you. You got a lot of power. I gotta wrap this up. I gotta go me how to do it. We're crack or crack or crack or crack. It really did work out better for you. I got to wrap this up. I'm gonna go me Jay. I said Bobby took over when Bobby took over the bonfire hug, when I said I'm free. We're finally even.

Starting point is 01:15:15 Did you guys talk about this missing summary in anything? Oh, the five people that died in the ring. Yeah. No. Once it once survived. That sounds like a mixed topic. What? oh my god I'm not stupid in this scenario like I'm not an idiot. What the fuck was that the un-oiled wheel squeaks

Starting point is 01:15:39 Yes once arrived I didn't I Pity-tension story you like this. What is fucking it? I would believe that it was like no, I didn't I pay attention to the story you like this. What is fucking it? I would believe that it was about it. It was about it. It's not what he did. It's not what he did. I'm not like this. It's not what he did.

Starting point is 01:15:50 What? Oh. That dude fucking shot that. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I did, I did, I did, I did. Oh, sorry I was late guys. That promo was a bad idea. I was in rate and it was a great idea. You were late. It wasn't a good idea, we were just lazy. Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

Starting point is 01:16:13 So are you gonna do it? No, why? You were a little trailer, didn't do it. Well we're together right now. You're going the bedroom. Yeah. Can you get in your underwear and fucking eat cereal? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:16:22 Dude, don't get 15 pounds. Don't get like an individual thing of cereal with a spoon, right? We need an individual thing a cereal with a spoon right we need an individual thing a cereal with a spoon And that's really all we need in terms of props You don't need no clue. You don't have to get milk just get the cereal. I don't know So why am I the butt of the joke though? I feel like I'm doing very well What do you mean you're the butt what the joke is that I'm not invited? That's the joke you came up with oh you didn't like it Yeah, I'm just happy honest. Can I be honest? Can I be honest? Yeah, I'm just that. Can I be honest?

Starting point is 01:16:42 Can I be honest? Can I be honest? Can I be honest? Let's be honest. Let's be honest. Ah. Yannis, you're a great guest. Ah, he would.

Starting point is 01:16:49 Yannis, Christine, Norman, Shane, just whites. We can't get Yannis and Christie. You know that. No, you can't, but by the way, that's the big one. That's the big episode. We have Yannis and Christie. Do they have a real fight? You have a history, Hyena's sit down.

Starting point is 01:17:01 Do they have a falling out? Oh yeah, no. Oh yeah. Really? No. I thought they just falling out. Oh, yeah. No. Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. No I thought they just split amicably. No, no you won't catch them on the fully loaded tour together like you had out of 10 Jay and I That's true you won't catch me in Joe on There's the guy. That was a long time ago.

Starting point is 01:17:22 No, I was listening, like, it was less than pandemic, during the pandemic, there you had it. Let's, that's the sit down. That'll, we should get Ryan, Ryan Hamilton, and the bus driver. Oh, no, my God, that's great. Let's get Ryan Hamilton on, and he can talk and tell some stories too. I love it. I think these are all good ideas. I think with the bus driver, it's really good.

Starting point is 01:17:49 You got hit by a bus. And that guy on here, that one can front him. No, you need guests. Otherwise you cap off. You're a fucking phony. Why are you being quiet? I don't get what I'm talking about. Somebody stole a Ryan Hamilton story.

Starting point is 01:18:01 I don't remember who it was. I don't know what he's talking about. I don't know what he's talking about. Guys, that being coy, fans hate this. Either let's be real ass dudes. I don't know what you's talking about I don't know what he's talking about Guys up in koi fans hate this Either let's be real I don't know what you're talking about I don't know the Ryan Hamilton joke What's happening

Starting point is 01:18:10 Somebody saw Ryan Hamilton's story and said it as their own and that was the whole thing I don't remember who it was It was a shaltz Fuck it Shaltz You just going for the guy with the biggest pockets

Starting point is 01:18:20 We're coming up Who should take You look at the two numbers He's got the best numbers. It was It's a Julia it was What did you just throw much? Oh, he's trying to make that money. I'm sure I missed her beast it Yeah, Joe and I start drinking again for the podcast. No just for the pods just on the pods

Starting point is 01:18:44 That wouldn't be a problem though. Once a month, once a month, you get fucked. Yeah, I could do it. Rip. Joe. How bad? Joe, no. No, I like it.

Starting point is 01:18:51 No, Joe. No. I think my career, Joe. Take off. No, Joe, your career won't take off. And your baby won't fucking take off either. Like the baby. I'll have a couple of cocktails.

Starting point is 01:19:00 A whole list. They'll be fine. I can raise a kid. I can have a couple of drinks after that. Yeah, I can actually have. You got a hand for your beer, hand for the baby. Got the baby, you got a cold one. I drink with 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Starting point is 01:19:11 I shut it down. I go see the kid. Yeah, come inside. Where you go? Oh, you cry about it. You fuck it, pussy. You slap some of your imagine. Oh, I can't imagine.

Starting point is 01:19:19 I cannot imagine. You look at me, you fucking bitch. Oh, that would be so bad. He brought up a very interesting question before the show Can your baby have herpes? That's a good. I didn't bring that up at all. Yeah, he wasn't even here before the show. You fucking show half over I didn't think about that. Oh, that wasn't you. Yeah, that was me But it is an interesting question. If I if I if I fuck them

Starting point is 01:19:41 He could have her That's crazy. I mean, we have to deal with that. No, why? That's good numbers. If he uses your toilet seat in your house, he would get herpes. He's got a cocky, give them herpes. Everyone knows, and you guys are fathers of sons, you bump winters. So when they bump winters, I don't know what you do in Denver.

Starting point is 01:20:02 No, so a baby sick at herpes. If the mom is having herpes at break while she's giving birth to the baby and has Vaginal birth the baby in her piece they go overall I don't have her piece. I have it. We're never fucked. It was created in the lab You never give you wife herpes. No, that's actually impressive. I know what happens when it when you have an outbreak You just go like not today call it off. Yeah, I mean you're also not in the mood to fuck when you have an outbreak What is it now? What is an outbreak? What does it look like? Do you see the Dustin Hoffman film nope with Cooper good? No, no, I'm not Ron on Hershberg It's like they're like just if you isolate that impression that would hurt my feeling

Starting point is 01:20:43 If you isolated that impression, that would hurt my feeling. Oh, stop. That's what you gotta put general herpes. That's it right there. That's general herpes right there. Oh yeah, right in the dick. That's what it looks like. That's what the first one looks. Oh my God.

Starting point is 01:20:56 Oh my God, it's terrible. What does the next one look like? They always have the worst though. It doesn't look like your dick was in a motorcycle. Oh, there you go. That one looks a low rash. Yeah, it looks like your dick was more like that. Oh, what's the one down the bottom? It's go down it's go down it's go down it's go down it's go down it's there

Starting point is 01:21:08 Oh That's all Oh, oh, oh, oh, that's her piece I have her piece I thought that was a sun stain. Oh, I'm sorry. I've had her pieces whole time Throw down scroll down scroll down you guys are a bunch of bitches that don't have cruel STDs. I have warts too. I have warts and herby. This is making me throw up.

Starting point is 01:21:29 Ha ha. Oh, how did you get rid of the warts? Hey, Max. Planned parenthood. Look at your fucking phone and change the logo you cock sucka. Planned parenthood. Mentexing him for 45 minutes. With the warts.

Starting point is 01:21:41 Yeah. They went and just got rid of her. They froze him off. No, they used like a little acid. It's like white. No, they went and just got it. They froze off. No, they used like a little acid. It's like white. Oh, they should do that. I want to because I had warts and the first time they they burnt them off the smoke from the burning the people there can get the warts through the air.

Starting point is 01:21:57 No, no, I'm telling you that's not true. Dan, look at these stupid He's a stupid asshole. That was close. Can we have a stupid asshole, Dan? And if it is true, if it is true, I can slap you in the face. I'm Dennis, power slap. Okay. Give me your phone, give me your phone.

Starting point is 01:22:14 Look it up. Hang up, you can get worse from smelling. Please, please be raw, please. Let me finish, let me smell you. We're smelling worse. Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me smell you warts. Let me let me go. Let me go. It was an acid slapping you. Hey listen Listen, this is the bomb there behind the back. Yes, listen, how was that? Look at the whole screen edit the bottom was better

Starting point is 01:22:32 Listen, here's the thing. I like this one. Listen. I think it's the alpha. So they burn it off They had to start Dan. Can you focus? Yeah, I need you. All right They had to start freezing them off. Yeah, yeah, that's what I had. Yeah, they freeze them up. They used to burn them, but the smoke would, if it got into the 100%, look it up. Look it up. Hold on, can I just interject it up?

Starting point is 01:22:57 You're talking like the 1950s. So I'm thinking, I'm talking about that. That whole world, I got it down to the 90s. So that's the real world. I think he's just eating it out of the box. Yeah, that's fine. Good direction. 90s, 90s, I got my first wart taken off.

Starting point is 01:23:10 Damn. And it got burnt off. They stopped doing it because the smoke actually we've been vamping for 10 minutes. Do we have an answer on this smoke wart? But also mine was like an acid, it wasn't a light on fire. That's look it up. It's like a chemical, they put on it.

Starting point is 01:23:24 To destroy it, you got it? I got mine frozen off. I've fire. Look it up. It's like a chemical. They put on it to destroy I got my frozen off. I've never like with nitrogen. I've never had a Dirty is dick mother fucker. I'm gonna call it a doctor right now. That's because you're a pussy that doesn't talk to Dr. Steve. It's never good. It's not Dr. Steve. I'll call the white. I'll call Famous doctor. You sound like spider I was I am alright you ain't alright Dr. Drew on this box doctor. You're calling Dr. Drew you know He's not gonna answer. He's not gonna tell you about alcoholism and podcasting

Starting point is 01:23:57 Fuck it doesn't we need the help dude. I'm calling bill. I'm calling Dr. Drew Who's bill dr. Bill? I'm calling famous doctor. I'm calling famous doctor. Dr. Drew picks up for you. That Drew loves me. Is he real? Not gonna pick up me. It's crazy. It doesn't love you that much. Dan, don't grow up on love line.

Starting point is 01:24:11 There's no way he's bringing it up. There's no way he's answering. Come and stand, Chris. Good buddy. Hello. Hello, pal. Not much, how are you? How are you?

Starting point is 01:24:19 Listen, I'm on YK to beat Robert Kelly's YK 3D podcast. I wanna talk. Hold on, shut up. No, it's the Rex. Tell me, we're upset. The Rex, we're having a debate right now and we need a doctor's opinion I was wondering if you can give us this the pen and I ask him though you can't ask you know who Robert tell it right now what'd you say? I'm I'm microphone right you are on microphone okay I can't wait to hear what this topic I want to talk to I want to talk to all of you

Starting point is 01:24:42 Jay Gomez is can't be good neutral oh you want neutral I want to say because you. I want to talk to you. All right. All right. I'm going to put you on my Joe list right now. We have a neutral question. Don't fuck it up. I'm not going to. I'm going to ask you. Okay. Big fan of love. I grew up on it.

Starting point is 01:24:53 Hi, Dr. Drew. I did your podcast once. My name is Joe list. I'm a comedian. It was a great time. I remember. Thank you. It was really nice.

Starting point is 01:25:01 Yeah. I was about to go. I watched it. I watched it. I watched it. But but I'm gonna ask the question do you Can you ask me if you remember when I board off? Hey, I love what I mean Robert Kelly here Bobby Kelly, whatever you want to call me. Big fan deal. I just want to say that big fan.

Starting point is 01:25:15 Yeah, so about 38 years. I love what you did on TV with giving the fucking phone. What is your fan boy spaggett? What are you doing dude? All right. Five voices going all at once. Okay, I'm gonna ask the question. Everyone please be quiet.

Starting point is 01:25:26 It's the regs. We're talking about removing genital warts, which I have several of us have had done. Speed it up. One person says in the old days, 90s, the 90s. In the old days, 30 years ago, in the 90s, 30 years ago,

Starting point is 01:25:41 90s. They used to burn them off, and then that would cause smoke, and the smoke could cause the people the doctors To get genital warts from the burnt smoke from smelling the smoke is this true from I can tell you that I burned off many Genital warts back in those days We used to use electricity and liquid nitrogen. I don't remember anybody ever warning me that the smoke was contagious. Ask them out why they stopped using why they stopped burning them. Why did they stop doing that? Doing it because it was really was very problem. Do you want to have your penis lit on fire?

Starting point is 01:26:18 Yeah, that's important. It's very comfortable thing for people. Well, you had much better and actually, frankly, more effective treatments with things like Aldera and other. Gen out Aldera. I had that in college. That's when I got my words. Yeah. So, so that sounds pretty made up in an accurate that smoke. Yeah, Bob. But get into people. Tell them I'm not a fan anymore. Bobby's upset with it. Yeah, let's just play the odds. Did it come from Lewis?

Starting point is 01:26:45 No. No. Robert, Robert, Robert, I say my name to him. Thank you more seriously. Why? I heard Dr. Drew that the actual, when they burnt the war off, no, we said that. He already said no.

Starting point is 01:26:59 But the plan of your way, he's saying he never heard that, but it could be a possibility, right? We can look it up, but I don't see how that would work. Well, the air, I'll tell you how, because I was going to be a doctor before an art teacher. The nor, by the way, you know, I read the medical literature very carefully. Fucking it. The HPV and their nostrils. You moron. Yeah, you're right.

Starting point is 01:27:29 You're getting nose worse. You fucking dead. Listen, listen, Dr. Drew, are you saying it's a fact that that's not true that you know it or you don't think it? I, in the strongest term, I believe this is inaccurate. I've been wrong for it. But you have been wrong. And let's be fair, the other thing is that there's a reason these words show up on

Starting point is 01:27:54 genitalia because that's kind of the only skin they can penetrate. They can penetrate the anus, they can penetrate the vagina, they can penetrate the penis, but even you know, you don't get them in your mouth for oral sex Damn You can get your HPV can colonize the mouth and you can get head neck cancer later So it's a possibility No Doc, Dr. Drew can I just say one thing?

Starting point is 01:28:22 I'm not gonna come out and put caretakers at risk for cancer. Doctor, Doctor Drew, can I just say one thing? If you agree with me and say that you know what, it does happen, I get to slap Lewis in the face. It's Lewis agreed to that? Yes. I did agree to it. Okay, if I agree with you. Yes.

Starting point is 01:28:42 Oh boy, unfortunately, I have to stick with my... Damn, he has integrity. Yes Damn he has integrity he took a he took a nose Hypocratic of hypocritical he says I don't believe so which is not here I'm smacking right in your mouth now. No, I didn't say you're writing your job This is about to come apart so I gotta let you go doctor drew you the fuck a man I'll see you in Austin in September and I'll let you go. Dr. Drew, you're the fuck, man. I'll see you in Austin in September, and I'll see you at Skankfest, brother. Bye, Dr. Drew.

Starting point is 01:29:08 See you there. You're the man. Does he live in Austin? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, he lives at the NLA, but his studio's in Austin. This is where he does his podcast. So he flies to Austin to do his podcast?

Starting point is 01:29:17 Yeah. Yeah. What a nice guy. He's the fuck, man, dude. I mean, just a sweet guy. Great guy. And he said I'm his favorite. That was weird. Him and Adam Crowler, both gonna be. That was weird. He was weird I did hear that.

Starting point is 01:29:25 Him and Adam Crowler both could be a skankfest. He didn't say that at all. Both the guys at the level line. That's weird. Oh, I love Adam Crowler rules. You always have fun stuff that happens at the skankfest. Who knows what I have. Hey, love line at skankfest and say that.

Starting point is 01:29:37 Lewis, if I, I want to ask you, I'm making this documentary about Tom Dustin. Do you have a small part of it? And Dustin from Florida. Yeah, he's the man. Great guy. If the movie is ready, can we premiere it at Skankfest in one of the movie theaters?

Starting point is 01:29:50 Sure. I got a question too. I did a movie and they wanted to... Oh, you're gonna cut me out of it though. You fucking piece of shit. Oh, I saw you. You're fucking... First of all, you're not.

Starting point is 01:29:58 You're gonna go to Barbara Streisand and have this cut me out? Woo! Barbara, yeah. Was it a Streisand? That was street, yeah. Damn good. I've been Tra strizand. That was straight. Damn good.

Starting point is 01:30:06 I've been trashin' strizin' for six months. Every opportunity I've had to trash strizand. Woo! Stop saying strizand. Just tryzand. I hate it. I didn't cut you. I was saying.

Starting point is 01:30:17 Yeah, that's right. Yeah, but you agreed to it. No. Joey's over. Joey's over. Joey's over. Joey's over. Joey's over. Joe yeah, yeah, cut him twice I was thinking he was I was thinking the same thing. Oh, yeah

Starting point is 01:30:30 But you were on the bonus materials. I don't they use that which was the fucking like literally they promoted it So then I like I'm gonna be oh guys go buy Joe's movie. You see you can watch the bonus materials the same day You've got his they should have given you the same thing you cut his you added a scene to me is that yeah yeah he said more Bobby less Lewis but I wasn't even in the movie so I wasn't even asked to show up on set so I mentioned you would have rather know you in the movie because I wouldn't have had to spend four thousand dollars to get my fucking uh union my union shit to not you're in the union no because I'm not re-upping it because I don't need to fucking do it don't not re-upped it dude why would I re-upped it pay the money I'm not a hundred you will be soon no this podcast is gonna blow up we're gonna

Starting point is 01:31:14 make the regs movie are you moving L.A. remember you're moving L.A. do you move on please are you fucking moving L.A. dude LA? Dude LA you're taking my son's best friend to LA. Yeah, he's coming with us. Me max you're an idiot Influencer house. Oh dude, that's sick I'm not moving LA fucking hey But there was one who we that wants to premiere at skankfest to do a screening you cool with that maybe we already We are gonna make those in it me and Zach. Okay. Yeah, thanks right I Took my thunder. I got a movie to You don't have the mummy to I just want to watch me to Critters, you know what's critters on the picture?

Starting point is 01:32:00 You put it can I have your movies? You know they do the Rocky Horror picture show whenever he goes and watches it. You should do a movie with Joe Lissmo, with Chorzajlis. Yeah, we put a rice for no reason. Yeah, when he gets anxiety, everyone's thinking about this. Yeah, yeah. Anxiety, way.

Starting point is 01:32:17 Is that gonna tradition that's gang-bash? Everyone's gonna say, go, fat Bobby! We all, we go, take a stitch. Snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, Bobby comes on stage and goes, fat Bobby! Fat Bobby! Fat Bobby! Fat Bobby! Fat Bobby! Snacks and snacks and snacks and snacks. And one airport new. Oh!

Starting point is 01:32:29 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Lockin' Drew Boom! What is this?

Starting point is 01:32:36 What is this? Airborne human papillomavirus transmission risks during abolation procedures. Yes, abolation. It's a, it's a manic review. Not abolation, it's abolation. It's not abolation. It's a... Sematic reveal. Not abolation, it's abolation. It's not abba.

Starting point is 01:32:47 Your doctor's fucking Hollywood doctor. I'm calling my doctor. Who's your doctor? My doctor's doctor, Steve, who's a actual doctor. Doctor, doctor, doctor. Dr. Drew is an ab doctor. He hasn't been in the hospital in 30 years. Doctor Drew.

Starting point is 01:32:59 Hold on, we're not even reading the thing. That's a headline. You can't trust a headline. And when is it written? What is the date on the floor? Results, a total of n equals thirty original studies report outcomes related to hpv transmission in medical staff conducting ablulid procedures

Starting point is 01:33:13 ablution smoke doctor steve doctor steve you're on the air on the regs podcast danceota joe list as a little bit joe as the same as the stop to the no no no so you're you're leading you're leading Joe ask again when? you No Love is fascinating Hey, Dr. Steve. I like that. The doctors always have to go through Joe. He's our nurse. Joe list high bless. I'm a cholesterol working on it The question is I want to ask

Starting point is 01:33:46 Nutrily they've they've trusted me to ask neutrally HPV back in the 90s when you had genital warts one way of removing them They would burn them off and someone here believes that the smoke from the burning off could be inhaled by the physician And that physician is at risk of developing warts themselves. Is that truth? Have you heard of this or HPV? I would now I'd have to do research on that. I would say it's unlikely because viruses are very eat, laybile, the most part. In other words, they don't survive outside the body very well, either in cold or hot environments, they evolve to live

Starting point is 01:34:31 on our bodies. So if you hit them with heat like that, for the most part, the proteins and the lipid coat of the fat coat of the virus would just completely gene nature. In other words, it would just fall apart. Okay. of the virus would just completely gene nature. In other words, it would just fall apart. So I find that very, I could do some research and get a definitive answer. Yes, I'm gonna say that's highly unlikely. Okay, real quick, we don't wanna take up too much of your time.

Starting point is 01:34:53 We found a website, the producer pulled it up. Can I read the results and you can decode this for medical? Yes, I'll try. The headlines scroll up real quick. I wanna see the headline again. The headline says airborne human HPV transmission risk during ablation procedures. By the way, Rogan would just know the answer to this. A systematic review and meta analysis. Okay. And it says results. And we need you to decode

Starting point is 01:35:14 this. A total of n equals 30 original studies report outcomes related to HPV transmission risk and medical staff conducting ablation procedures, HPV DNA detection and ablation smoke parentheses and equals seven, matching HPV genotypes of ablated HPV lesions and face airways of medical staff after ablation and equals two, an evidence for ineffectivity of pepperloamer virus and ablation smoke and equals three animal models only does this mean anything to you?

Starting point is 01:35:47 Yeah, give me the conclusion. Three, oh, that's the results. It says three can hold on scroll back up. Yeah, give me the conclusion. It says I understand all of that. Okay, it says three controlled studies abscessed warts. Assessed warts in CO2 laser users only when pooling all controls, general population, non laser users, nasal oral,

Starting point is 01:36:11 farm and the geolnesian sites were more common amongst laser users. So saying that when you burn them off, that's where they say that they found lesions were more common in the oral pharyngeal and nasal passages of people that had done this surgery. Yeah, but laser use it. Just saying that detected DNA there. I don't know. It's. You're not going to be able to smack them.

Starting point is 01:36:40 It says three control studies assessed warps specifically warps when pulling the controls general population DNA is in the viral particle you got boom just the DNA you got to have the virus So What we would want to know is if they followed people say five, 10 years later, was there a higher incidence of HPV type disease and the or a fairings, which is, you know, the malta inside of the mouth. And the night or in the nasoferings, the deep inside of the nose and people who had performed these procedures. If you could show us statistically significant difference, then can say yeah this is a problem which i just realized is a section called conclusion can we scroll to conclusion yeah well that was a scroll down sorry i thought results was what you're looking for but i didn't

Starting point is 01:37:33 lose you on this is conclusion i thought results was what we need it okay this is looking like bottom of the slap with scrolling by the way if it's click on conclusion do you not know how fucking websites work if i can ask for if it's true bobby gets to slow okay here's the conclusion taken together each ablation am i saying that right ablation ablation you guys got the common each ablation the need to work place contamination and h pv particles are indeed dispersed

Starting point is 01:38:00 in surgical smoke generated by c o two laser and-E-E-P. While an associated infection risk is currently only documented in animal models, published data indicates that CO2 laser users have a higher risk for warts of the upper airways compared to controls. Both of us have a better chance to get out of the way. Can I have a relive? No, no, you can't. Yes, I can. You need to take the same knowledge for physicians and cannot be dismissed from an occupational

Starting point is 01:38:23 health perspective. In summary while even Let me let me say let me say give the phone Super the phone you bet bitch in summary while even high risk HPV transmission by surgical smoke is indeed feasible Yes infection risk remains controversial in humans identification of relevant occupational HPV transmission by surgical smoke is Impeded by other transmission routes Associated with workplace hygiene and contamination. Yeah, it's absolutely. It is for the Okay, so let them talk fucking so it's unsafe to burn the the war's off

Starting point is 01:38:54 They're able to detect the DNA in these people and there appears to be some increased risk in HPV type lesions, but what they're saying is is that in humans, so far, they haven't done the study to show that this leads to disease. Let me, one of the other question. I'm worried about is if you're ablating and say in HPV 16 from somebody's genitals, and that's the one that causes cancer, and these viral particles are in the air and it's able to be transmitted through the smoke into your oropharynx. It can cause head neck cancer. That's what they're worried about. They haven't showed that in this study yet to show that it actually causes disease in humans. Dr. Steve Lewis-Shay Gomez here, friends with Dr. Drew.

Starting point is 01:39:47 Um, so, so one of the things that my friend Dr. Drew said, one of the things that my friend Dr. Drew said was that HPV in the sense of like, being able to get warts, it only exists on our genitals for a reason. That's the skin that it actually likes, takes to. It doesn't show up in our mouths or our nose. What? It's called trophism.

Starting point is 01:40:12 It likes to live on the genitals, but that's the problem is that head neck cancer, head-eye cancer, rectal cancer, and cervical cancer are all caused by HPV. That's right. And the problem with the head and neck is, you know, when you're eating at the Y, you can often get information that they should be from, you know, of a giant or a penis or somewhere else and into the oral parent. So that's part of the problem. Yes, they prefer to live there, but they can live other places.

Starting point is 01:40:44 Just like Herpes, Herpes Simplex 2. Joe? Yes. Yes. Yes. But it can live in the mouth. Likewise, Herpes Simplex 1 is trophic for the mouth that can live on the genitals.

Starting point is 01:40:57 Right, Joe. Last but not least, let's find the date of this study. And maybe have they done the follow up and done the research because this is an old, this is an old theory. You do that. Yeah. I'll do some research. Let's find the date of this study and maybe have they done the follow up and done the research because the This is an old this is an old theory. You do that All right, you do the series search next listen you do the research next podcast We got to have you back on because if I if I win I get to slap Lewis in the face if I'm right, okay? I love you buddy. Thank you my doctor Steve. Bye. All right.

Starting point is 01:41:27 I got my bitch up. That's my cat. Smack him. We read it. No, we didn't. Yes, procedure can lead to workplace examination. What is the gain of this? Why don't we take a vote? They're gonna vote for me to be smacking them out. Yeah, absolutely. Who thinks that I'm right with the evidence that was proven? One, two, three. I want to follow up. This is why I want, we have one doctor that said this is more

Starting point is 01:41:50 shit. We have another doctor who's not even a real doctor. That's a 50% slap. 50%. No. No doctor's not a real doctor. My doctor's television personal. Doctor Drew is the realist doctor.

Starting point is 01:41:59 Real doctor. He's actually literally the first professional doctor in there. What about an 80% slap? Can we see another follow up on this when is this from 2020 year of our Lord badball alters You're Lord my Lord and savior Jesus Christ Your move you you go to church dog every Wednesday every so you believe in God what a dark believe in God Do you believe in God are believing a dork. Believe in God. Do you believe in God? I believe in a Judeo Roman Christian God.

Starting point is 01:42:27 Yes. I believe in the Lord and Savior. Do you believe in God? Jesus of Nazareth. I'd rather not say. I bet your son's name is Godless. Dude, that'd be sick. God, my name.

Starting point is 01:42:36 God, dude. Godless. God is my son, God. I believe in God, but I don't believe in religion. You'd rather not say really? No. I don't believe in God. Do you believe in God really no. I don't believe in good People in God I believe in God. I pray I prayed this morning. Yeah, I did He said please let Lewis be on time and God didn't answer and now I believe in nature

Starting point is 01:42:54 You believe in the trees believe in the miracle of nature It's weird like young people. There's like a whole thing where like all these people are like believing in God now God rules dude. Yeah, what's wrong with God? I believe in God. God's great. Pizarra. Our God is an awesome God. Yeah. You know what I believe in?

Starting point is 01:43:10 Good, orderly direction. Yeah. You know what I believe in? You know what I believe in? You know what I believe in? What? Google of pizza. I knew you started it without having anything.

Starting point is 01:43:19 Nothing. I knew what was going on. I was like, he's starting, but he's not good enough to come up with something in the fly. Stop it. He had nothing. Go on, Dick. Our God is an awesome God. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:43:30 Love God. Let's pray right now. All right. What prayers do you remember? How would be thy name? Let's pray for it. Come, that will be done on earth as it never gives us. It was a scary, holy bread.

Starting point is 01:43:39 Give us that one. I'll be with you, though. It was a great, just great. With bread. With butter on it. With butter on it. Yeah, give me some on a bread. I want an air bread. Also, Wises, way to take it so long with another basket of bread.

Starting point is 01:43:51 Maybe give me a cup of Ojou. What are we skipping it in? Give us our sauce. What are we eating? Are we eating after this? Let's get some food. Do we get downstairs open? Let's go to Shwama.

Starting point is 01:44:01 Oh, Chipotle. Downstairs is a fucked chipotle. Chipotle. It's raw. You're such a fucked in. Nine year old with your food. Chipotle is McDonald's. I'll go to let's go to Schwama or Chipotle downstairs a fuck chip Chipotle We know you're such a big Donald nine year old with your food. Chipotle is McDonald's all fuck no I have McDonald's last night. I talk about last night. We'll go downstairs downstairs Salas open and wings on Bobby I'm fucking I'm getting back in shape for a fight. Oh, you know what? I'll buy with Lewis's money that he sent me. There we go. Boom, please. I will listen. So this is going to be a monthly thing, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:44:29 Once a month. Most of July. What? I'm gone. I'm back half of July. I mean, mid-sized dates are real. This isn't even come out yet. We're going to edit this out. Well, Dave, the people want to know how the soup's made and this is how the soup is made. Yeah. I'm coming at it. We're going to do it once a month. We're going to fucking, and that's going to be that. That's it. We get together on, once a month. We're gonna fucking, and that's gonna be that. That's it. We get together on, you know, whatever, whatever a Dan and Joe schedule work apparently.

Starting point is 01:44:49 That's, that's, that's works for me. What are you canceled? You're canceled, Doc. That sounds good to me. Yeah, I canceled the first one. Okay. So that was for good reason. For good reason.

Starting point is 01:44:59 What was the reason? If my girlfriend was going out of town for a month and it was our last night together. Will you, are you willing to admit, have you grown up enough that if, when we scheduled this, I texted and said, hey, I just realized my wife is gonna be upset if we do this, I have to cancel. How many times would you call me, Faggot,

Starting point is 01:45:14 and would you ever stop saying it? And- Would you change your- Would you change your- Additionally, you would have done it without me. You would have done it without me. Can you be real? That we wouldn't have.

Starting point is 01:45:22 You're a fucking lying cunt. Can you be real? I we wouldn't have. You're a fucking lying cunt. Can you be real? I'm not lying. I'm wrong or I'm right. I'm not right. I call lie, I call being wrong a lie. For me, if you're wrong, you're a liar. I'm not lying.

Starting point is 01:45:33 It's your liar. It's fun. And you, but I love the defensive arm. You know, you know me. Yes, I do. You know me. I do. I know you're very well.

Starting point is 01:45:42 I know you said, hey, my girl's going out of town for a month. And as my last night, I fucking- Even though I scheduled it. First of all, I wouldn't, I'm a very good schedule keeper, so I wouldn't do that. But do you think that I'd go fucking faggot ass, Joe? What's I do? No, no, no, I don't think that.

Starting point is 01:45:54 We all think that. It's fucked up that you guys think that of me. We all think that, well. Joe fault, though. We all think you've kind of how you portrayed yourself. I don't feel like I have portrayed myself. I feel like I portrayed myself as a good friend to everybody here.

Starting point is 01:46:04 I'm not saying that's that's by the way I'm not that friend would I'm giving the camera a very office look right now corporate Dan I think that you're a wonderful friend and a wonderful brother no corporations own me and I think you're a comedian All three fuck you dude. I'm free. I'm free too kind of no way dude guys. You got to wrap this up. I got to go me You got a fucking I gotta go. I got a double show today. I got double bond I got to go. Yeah, you got a fucking. I gotta go. I got a double show today.

Starting point is 01:46:24 I got double bond. Yeah. I don't like calling it that. Double bond. Bum bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb. All right, listen, we got to do some plugs, maybe? No, we'll have to. Yeah, guys, hey, if you buy a ticket to my show,

Starting point is 01:46:37 you can win a raffle ticket. Plug it up. DanceOter.com that will be at the, where is this coming out. We don't know. Within a week. New York comedy club Stanford, Connecticut July 7th and 8th. I will be there with Mike Racine. And then I will be at Side Splitters in Tampa, I'm going to July and the improv in Dana, Daniel Beach. That's all that's the last week of July. And then August, I got L.A.

Starting point is 01:47:04 I got San Diego. I got L.A. again I got Seattle Neptune theater Calgary great outdoor festival Edmonton two shows and one night at the comic strip Dance order dot com for all your tickets. I love you guys. It's gonna be back with the boys the boys July 12th of the 15th, Irvine improv. Woo! Hey, I'm, that's the one I'm doing in August. I'm doing one night. I'm doing a Tuesday.

Starting point is 01:47:30 Oh, nice. Well, the next weekend after that, I'm in, uh, San Jose. Yeah. All right. August, I got Providence Comedy Connection, Portland Helium, Nashville, Zainey's, and then October 5th of the 7th Philadelphia Helium. That's the last gig before my baby.

Starting point is 01:47:45 So I could really could use some- If a Larry comes into town. Larry Lewis, baby. Larry Lewis, LL. And I got a new special coming out August 18th on YouTube. Go subscribe to my YouTube August 18th. It'll be out. Sick.

Starting point is 01:47:56 Lots of life stuff coming up, guys. Go to Lewisofskanks.com for dates. I'll be in Austin. I'm going to be in Chicago. The Legion of Skanks are doing our first ever little theater run together in the New England area. We'll be at the Wilbur theater. We're going to be at Foxwoods Casino. We're going to be at Hampton's Beach Casino Ballroom August 10 through 12th. Huge room. If you guys are in the New York area, we're filming half hour specials. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:48:20 It'll six half hour special. Falcon insane lineup. Go check those out. Couple tickets left for the the column and boss night But come out and party. It's gonna be a blast Yes Chicago fucking Austin all this other stuff go to the loose skanks. I come check out Legion skanks realized podcast cast digital Yeah, that's that I'm gonna be July 20th Burlington Vermont Showcase lounge and then portsmith The 23rd they just added a second show

Starting point is 01:48:44 first show is sold out. The 28th, the 29th, Nashua, and then Lakoney. I'm doing a bunch of theaters this summer, and September 23rd, Rutherford, New Jersey. Go to robbercalealive.com for all my tickets. Make sure you show up at our shows, pack the place out, retweet, like all that shit. And hit the subscribe button, comment in the

Starting point is 01:49:05 comments and make sure you like it. Yeah, subscribe for all like the reg stuff. It's on YouTube channel. I'm in the middle of it right now. I'm in the middle. I'm adding on to it. Well, add to it when I'm done. Well, it was a little tag team thing. This has to be so regimented. All right. Well, maybe you're right. Yeah. So yeah, go, uh, yeah, subscribe to all the things I want to tick talk. I'm not gonna talk about anything else. The regs is on TikTok. We got to take to all the social media to go subscribe.

Starting point is 01:49:29 The regs, Joe Liss, Dan Soda, Lewis J Gomez, and Robert Kelly. We'll see you guys next time. you

Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - The Regz ep #01 | Airway HPV | Robert Kelly, Dan Soder, Luis J. Gomez and Joe List

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