Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Tired Liza

Episode Date: March 19, 2018

Dante Nero, Matteo Lane and 'The Truth' Joe List come on to talk about Mason Pryors bomb, the fat kid in American Idol, and OJs confession! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. The most celebrated name in live comedy is finally coming to Las Vegas. The comedy seller is opening this April at the Rio Hotel in Casino. Since 1982, the comedy seller has been home to the premier names in comedy. And now, on April 5th, the Comedy Cellar is bringing that tradition to the world famous Rio Hotel and Casino. The Comedy Cellar at the Rio combines the reputation of New York comedy with the glamour of Sin City.

Come see the best comedians in the world perform at the Comedy Cellar. Now, at the Rio, tickets available at Comedyseller.com and ticketmaster.com. Welcome to the funniest podcast of the planet Earth. This is gonna be a clash-define. It's podcast. It has no rules. Look at the mic asshole. I'm sure I've already said should I regret it?

Can I get a microphone? No! That's a fuck. That was trying to keep it like a comic can. I have a bunch of guys on. It's just us sitting down and yapping. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's having no topics, no directions.

I love doing it. Way both sides of a coin. That's all the hoisting. That's your motherfucking. You want to do anything? My podcast is popular enough where I might affect some of these lines. You never know.

It's Robert Kelly, so you know what do podcasts on lightcast.com. You never know The first one to bring comics together The first one to do the use logos. The first one to fucking have guests in studio. The first one to do a lot of things. And one of the first guys, Joe List, is on it. Hi everybody, still here after all these years. Six years Bobby.

Door hall these years. I mean, you wanna hear something crazy? What. Six years, Bobby. Door hall these years. I mean, you want to hear something crazy? What? Six years this week. Crazy. I was there in March. Hang on, let me look at Mateo's body. Nice.

Nice. It's not nice. It's perfect. Well, it's not nice. It's not perfect that it's not even good. It's Michelangelo couldn't even do that. This is too good of a body. There's too much.

What do you mean there's too much? Too much shadows, too many curves, it's too good. You know why it's too good? Cause someday it's gonna fall apart and you're not gonna keep up with it. Yeah, I'm, of course not. Might be a mouth sweetie. I have to, I need a mouth.

Coney a mouth, coney a mouth. This, I know. I shovel the bagel so quickly. I shoveled my driveway this morning. Right now. Hot dog, first joke of the day. My uncle Mike shovels, or like he like waters his driveway and then puts a fan on it and watches it drive.

He's obsessed with his driveway. Oh my God, that's crazy. First of all, I wanna mention laughable.com, the greatest app if you love podcasts, laughable is the app to get. Go to the iTunes store and download laughable.com. The app right there, there is the logo. Look for that logo.

If you like podcasting, if you like, you can see Mateo on my show. And then all the other shows, he's been on his own show. Killer app. It's a killer app. Go get it right now. Laughable at the app store. I just want to go for like, four free right now.

Also, we've got a bunch, my Patreon is up right now. So thank you for the people listen, I'm gonna be doing a bunch of stuff from there and you guys are gonna help me do it. This is a fully funded fan page. My fans of this podcast are gonna be partner with me to give you content that you guys done. I'm just waiting for you to be done. Well, I'm going on for you to be done well I'm going on for so long well it's called ads that's how you get the thing going just so keep going I wish there was a skip five skip after five seconds I listen I'm gonna say this right out of the gate shut the fuck up this is how I get people

to fucking help pay for shit yeah all right I don't want to come on you have fucking dumb show and trash your sponsors. Do you have sponsors? Oh, no, absolutely not. Are you kidding? A tens of 12s of people listen to my podcast. All right, listen, well, someday you're gonna get sponsors and you're gonna shut the fuck up during the ads

because those are the people that support you. So you don't have to do it for free and I can maybe, you know, pay these guys, we got new computer in here. I'd love to get paid. We got a new computer, right? Six years. Don't you get paid on your show?

Don't you have sponsors on your show? We have some ads. We have laughable baby We love laughable laughable was the best app in the biz you can plug it even Mike Suarez You can type his dumb name in there and have his podcast come out my chargers is mooshie Mike. I don't even come up on this one You don't that you're killed for yourself give me a cup on this one. You don't? That's your kill for yourself. I listen. Anyway, go to patreon.com.

I wanna thank all the fans that have signed up already. Don't listen to fucking Mateo, this fucking elitist. You go there, we're gonna be doing the live from the shed show is up there now. My first guest, we shot the whole thing in my shed with Colin Quinn two days before his hot attack. So I can look at another guest. It's actually my next guest is Matt Sarah, a world champion UFC fighter and Black belt and Jiu Jitsu. Wow. He is my next

day. It's not going to be all comics.'s gonna be I get a musician for the next one So it's gonna be comics actors. I have an actor coming up. So do I know He's a good actor, but no So check it out right now at patreon.com slash Robert Kelly. You should have me up there We'll smoke some back. Well, I'm gonna have you on the show sometime. Yeah, I love that The end of the season, you know, When I, yeah, kind of close that out strong. Maybe I can hang out with Max, cause I'm on the lips.

Hey, easy. And a nice way. Fucking Tom Brady. What else do we got, yeah, Sassy? Top the car. Michael, what else we got? Muchie Mike. Last week we had two birthdays on the podcast.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We had, yeah, Zach's the new guy. You got him, present got him a present We got Gabby Brian birthday. There's your present Gabby. Oh, by the way Thank you for all the people who sent her newt's please. Oh, people actually sent you nude So thank you so much to our fans. You got well. You got cock. Yeah, I got cock. I got a bunch of cock really That's good. Awesome any black cock. No only white only white cock. Really? Was it brown cock? Any brown cock?

No, tan, maybe. Oh, yeah. Oh, why? You can't have tan cock. Who can? I have a tan cock. Well, I've beaten my cock into tannis. Really?

Yeah, if you just rub it raw and long enough, just rub it around. I feel like it would turn red. That tan. It goes from red to, it's like a sunburn. It gets red and then it kind of cools into like a nice frow on it. Yeah, no ralloallow just a moisturizer.

Oh, there you go. There you go. What is it? She got a grabby extender. Go for two because she busts at her foot. Yeah. I'm gonna do it again because the bones are burned. And you can grab.

You can grab some cock. I could give a nice metallic hand job. Yeah, you can imagine getting a hand job from that. Yeah, like this. Just reach over while you're watching the news. Yeah. So when you cripple yourself over while you're watching the news. Yeah. So when you cripple yourself again, you have help.

Wow. You guys are kind of neat. Well, if you run into like a fucking red dick, good stuff on it, you could touch it with that. Yeah. From far away, like, yeah. What do you got, Zach? Well, Zach, this year he nearly lost half his hand.

Yes. So we got him a robot twist. So we can open jars with his half a hand. That's happening to this studio. Everyone's falling apart. Yeah, I know. He with a tap of hand. That's happening to this studio. Everyone's falling apart. Yeah, I know. That's why we need money. We're working hard.

Bobby beats us. Yeah, I got a dog with a rabbit too. I can't fucking deal with Mateo's blouse. It's, I can't stop looking at it. It is the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Look at, I can't even fucking deal with you dude. I'll tell you what, the past two weeks I have not, I ate octopus for the first time in Spain.

Wait, I did. Have you ever gone down on a girl? No, we talked about this last time. I'm a gold star gay. Gold star gay! The last girl I dated was S.R.F.R. My voice sounds like Lindsey Lohan because I'm getting off a cold.

But I sound like beef jerky. But no, the last girl dated was when I worked at Michael's My voice sounds like Lindsey Lohan because I'm getting off a cold. But I sound like beef jerky. But the last growth data was when I worked at Michael's arson crafts. So you can imagine how far I got with her. That's amazing. I've just made out with girls. But it was the same thing with the octopus.

I just knew instinctually I shouldn't be near that. Well, you didn't like octopus. I just, my whole life, I was like, even in the night at a seven fish, there's all that Italian shit. I'm like, I'm not going near those things. I'm not going near a shellfish seafood. I think it like octopus. I just, my whole life, I was like, even in the night of the seven fishers, all that Italian show, I'm like, I'm not going near those things. I'm not going near a shellfish seafood. I think it's disgusting. And then I'm in Spain,

because my boyfriend lives in Spain. Right. I met him on Instagram. We like to each other's pictures, jacks off, boyfriends. And Jack off on Instagram? No, we call it, we FaceTime each other and jacked off immediately.

I know, where, let me ask you a question of this, because I've always wanted this. Where's that angle go? Well, he was, he was more so wanted to look at my ass and then he would just like show me his dick. So he was laying in bed and then just like,

you know, wherever, like maybe like kind of upper thigh. So you're the bottom in this one. Of course, I'm the bottom in the relationship. Okay. Yeah. And then I was just like, well, in our relationship if we had one, what would you be the bottom?

Well, there's certainly a lot of tears. I think it'd be the bottom. Okay. Yeah. Well, listen to certainly a lot of tears Listen to me can you be stop you You have a very top attitude I do I'll fucking like you're very dominating Bully I'm about shut up. I wouldn't bully him. I wouldn't bully you dude So you have a same word you admit to some bullying now I shut up your your you're one of those Do you think he's a bully? No, he's a millennial fuck who doesn't even know what bullying is you want bullying here comes bullying you want a nice bully I'll fucking whoever you know it's coming up to stairs. They'll bully you and they'll teach you what bullying's really

Don't say well, yes, they're 20 minutes late. So I have an idea of who's coming They have a tancock. Yeah, they do have a very tancock. I don't know, the worst thing we've got. That's not to be true. Okay, thank you. I'm such a homo-site. I'm so sorry. Hang on, I can't hear what?

What did you say? I said, group in the 80s, dog. Why are you apologizing to your such a homosexual to Michael? What happened? He keeps taking pictures of this side and it's so horrible. Like, how do I let me know? Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think this side looks similar to that side. No, this side's better than that side. For sure. What's wrong with that side? It's crazy. I don't know, it's a little like, like droopy. Like, it looks like it's a little melty. I'm so glad I'm not gay.

I'm actually very happy I'm gay. I think being straight sounds like a, like, so boring. No, because you have to keep, you have to, you have to be so in shape and so care, so much. You're gonna have to, like, you could be a bear, you know what I mean? Hey, Dante. What is he a bear? Dante is so, like, with his pictures of him stripping,

I think I would, I don't even know what I would, he's so hot. He's literally, he was sending me these photos of him in like, like, singlets almost. I mean, it was so hot. I'm not. Somebody dead in. I'm going on you. This is something inside, outside.

I look weird, dolphin boxes if I could. Oh my God. Well, we're talking about if, so now if Dante, get off your phone, you fucking asshole. I'm texting SD. I don't care. She sends you your emails, you have to send back. Send them back in an hour, get off your phone.

No, I said thank you. Oh, it will thank her after God do I fucking an hour get off your phone. No, I said thank you. Oh, well thank your after God Do I fucking hate people gonna on the phone on the podcast? If you if you were dating me. Yeah, I mean you were gay. Yeah, you'd be the bottom if you could get me First of all you couldn't get me first of all let's settle down. You think a lot of breaks I read your tweets I'll just use I'll just use you stuff against I read your tweets. I just use I'll just use you like I can get you I Bobby I love you. I'd fucking get you you couldn't get me. You're out of your mind. I'd fuck man. Let me tell you in a minute Good looking. Thank you. I feel much I should feel more confident. I'm married. I'd fuck

I would I would even have them in my house. I would do road work with him. Just some case. I'm like, dude, they didn't have a separate bedroom. We have to share this king's weed. Listen, I could fucking get you, but it would be too rough. It would be, it would be like, I'd grab the back of your neck, you'd grab the back of mine. It would be a little bit creepy. It's like tag football, it starts up friendly, and then somebody's fucking pushing somebody on pay.

Someone's pushing somebody into a bumper. You'd be fucking, you'd be holding my face down to a pillow. I'd be fucking trying to reach for a pair of scissors. I would be very gentle, I would be very gentle to you. How can you be gentle? I could, I could be, why would you think I couldn't be gentle? Look at you, I could be gentle. You're not gentle. you. How can you be gentle? I could, I could be, why would you think I couldn't be gentle? Look at you. I could be gentle.

You're not gentle. I am. I'm not think about you gentle. You wearing a fucking ox head ring. You can't finger anybody. You can take these off, Joe. I don't know if you know, oh, okay. Well, I've never fingered with rings before

because, you know. You don't do that. No, that's not my thing. You can't finger's off. I don't know about you, dude. I don't know about those rings It takes a long time to get all that together. I mean, what are you doing the more you put all those on? It doesn't it takes a few seconds. Why you know? No, I say it takes a minute or two a minute Hey Tyler Henry. What are you doing?

I'm looking at this thing Tyler Henry's that Hollywood, Holly would meet you. You should give a fuck about yourself, the way you look. But that's what I'm saying, Mateo, before you get all country on me, is that, I don't, like being gay would be too much for me because I feel like you have to keep up. Have you met Tim Diller? No. Yeah, and that's the only way I keep. It's just different times to case. I don't know.

I also just like going to the gym. My sister, who you're in love with, taught me like a great routine. It's not a gym like being in a routine. Your fashion is ridiculous. No, I'm not very fashionable. My boy has very fashionable. Stand up for a second. Can I see those pants?

The pants are not fashionable. Why do I need these? They're fashionable. That for a second. I see those pants. I know the pants are not fast Fashionable. That's not fashionable. He actually put his t-shirt in with the colors. We know it's pink When you get that shirt this is the color that it's supposed to be It's supposed to be Rocky Belbo is t-shirt. Where did you get that t-shirt is not a regular t-shirt from Zara? Yeah, Zara That's a crazy shirt. All right. You're right. That's a shirt. This is a normal shirt. I got a black v neck I mean I wore like a graphic T yesterday. That's not a no that's a normal shirt where you come from It's a normal. It's not actually look at this shirt, huh? Yeah, that's a normal Mike's wearing a nice fucking normal shirt. That's a ridiculous

I'm showing skin today because I ate that fucking octopus and got hives and rashes all over my body because I didn't realize I was allergic and then had to get steroids and get like be out steroids for a week 60 milligrams of prednisone a day Is that why you got to get that no? I'm in a good mood I just sound like I'm not a good mood because I sound like to like like From the clock, but anyway, so like it's finally going away So I'm like okay now I can feel like I can wear nothing again. All right. Well, I got to do any harmony read. Please don't fuck up my reason. Why are you looking at me? Because he was too much. They like it.

Yes. They like gays anywhere. Stop with that. I don't think they like gay. They didn't use to like gays any harming. Gay people go anywhere you want now. You can go anywhere. There's no there's no more. No gay anywhere. We want Manhattan. You can go anywhere you want anywhere. I was fucking gay people. It's illegal to be gay in 72 countries. No, not in America. Yeah, but in America, the South gay is not so far. You can't fucking blame America for America's the most advanced

country in the world. What? So, yeah, we even is way better. Not black, some gay. Oh, you guys still got to fight. There's still states and countries that are illegal to you can get fired for being gay. You can't adopt if you of gay. Oh, you're right. You're right. No, you guys still got to find. There's still states and lies. Thank you. It's illegal to, you can get fired for being gay.

You can't adopt if you're gay. You can't. It's not equal. Well, of course, who wants to have no gay? What about crazy people? What a fucking off-cat. I, he harmony. Look, if you try to dating online,

have you ever tried dating on the, no, of course. Yeah, you have. I mean, not really. I mean, I was, you know. But, Dave Joe, have you ever tried dating on the no question? Yeah, you have. I mean, not really, I mean, you know. But, did you ever try it? No, I feel like most of these didn't exist. I was single and didn't know how to use the internet and then I got a wife and then all this stuff came up or it's like, you can just fuck anybody

on with a swipe and I was like, This is not about that. This one, the other ones are. That's why they're getting a grinder. No, they're closed. This is involved. E harmony is try. If you ever tried dating online, the chances are you run a lazy texting dead in conversation

random matches that don't turn into dates. Okay. You can get you can get to know somebody. You can't get to know somebody just by looking at the picture. The other one you look at the picture, oh, she's hot. She's hot. Oh, she's not and you swipe. That's ridiculous.

You can't you got to meet somebody. You got to talk to somebody. Thank you so much. See now he's not and you swipe. That's ridiculous. You gotta meet somebody, you gotta talk to somebody. Thank you so much. See, now he's adding to the show. E-Harmony is unlike many other online dating sites. E-Harmony takes steps, steps that other dating sites. Why wouldn't my producer not think of this? Dany Sites, the original E-Harmony could remember that too.

And then they didn't use it and made a song that sound kind of like it. Don't know what to do. It's like, is that not the song? Don't in order to find you more complicated matches. They're built to help. You find lasting meaningful relationships, not shallow hookups. They have helped over a million people find that perfect match. Now listen, right now my is get free a free month

You should try it a free month. You should try it even though you're married Free month with the harmony when they sign up for it three months Subscription enter my code dude. That's dude. I turn it down a little bit. You step it on my fucking shit stood I turn it down a little bit. You're stepping on my bucket shed. Stead at checkout. Here's the deal. Stop waiting and start your journey to satisfying meaningful relationship. It can be fun to play around with online danding apps, but when you're ready to fall in love with someone and have a meaningful relationship, there's one app that builds that and brings real love. E-Harmony. Come see how E-Harmony can change your life.

Go to e-harmony.com and get started. Enter code, dude, at checkout. Thank you very much, Mateo. That's a great Kevin Brennan joke. He says, I think my wife is on e-harmony because I'm on e-harmony and I saw her on there. I don't like it's e-harmony though. It's the other one. What's the other one that's real popular?

J-Date. Meet farmers. Meet farmers? Is it like a farm, yeah, like farmers. It's the other one. What's the other one that's real popular? J-Dates. Meet farmers. Meet farmers? Is it like a farm? Yeah, like farmers.com like meet farmers. Like if you're a farmer and you're looking for a farmer, go to farmers. Oh, what's the biggest one that fucking everyone does? Bumble. E-Harmony. Bumble. Yeah. E-Harmony is the most. E-Harmony is a regular, real, dating site to meet. Somebody you might get married to, a be a girl for the work of a dude. The other ones are hook-up sites. They had to make good. They had to meet Tinder as like more relationship. If you meet someone on Tinder

because grinders just stream and scrub and you like bubble more relationship. Now how do gays do bumble? Because the bottom have to be the same thing. Harmony is more relationship. Um, e-harmony rocks. Jesus. Can we pause? I wanted to say what's really the deal Is the bottom have to be the same thing harmony is more relationship? Mm-hmm. He harmony rocks. Jesus. Can we pause? Because I want to say what's really the deal with this.

No, I don't want to say nothing. All right, fine. Let's just move on. Let's move on. Let's move on. Okay. But I have a really great point of saying it. I'm saying it.

I'll eat it. No, you can't. It's the best. It's the best in the world. It's the best. I'll talk about it anyways. But in the old days. Shut up. I don't want to hear it. I

want to talk about this. Did you see, oh, I got this fucking great gig. You know, Rich Foss. I know him. Yeah. He was dying. He's in the hospital, bro. Let's just. First of all, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's out. Oh my God. He's out. He's out. Chess pains the works. They don't listen to him. He's being stupid. I got nervous. No, he didn't. He had chest pains. It was probably like, it's called a softical spasm.

Probably tried to listen to a set. From here, I get them from acid reflux in anxiety. And this tightens up. And he felt the tightness in his chest. I called him. He went and got an EKG. Go checked out Everything's fine. Yes, that's what they said He's a big anxiety sufferer like myself. I suffer from a lot of anxiety actually. Yeah chest pains

I have chest pains every day. I'll have them in two minutes Dante looks at me one more time. I'm gonna fall out of my chair That's such a calming presence I don't know why you know this is. I could be tender. I'm not tender at all. I'll turn that back up. A softical spasm. I had one of these on the phone with Joe DeRosor and Bill

Burr when we were writing something. I thought I was biting it. I thought I was getting the big one. I literally grabbed my chest and my wife was there. This before Max was born. And we were in the middle writing the book, Cheat. And we were fighting. Some, they the book cheat and I were fighting. Some but they were fighting those two were fighting and I was like, and I was trying to

will away a hard attack. I was like, it was in the center now. It was right here in the center. That's why it's not the hard. And I was screaming at each other and Bob was like, what do you think Bobby? I'm in here Billy, but dude, what's wrong, dude? Dad, go take care of that, dude. Loose some weight, dude. And heart attack, you feel like in your arm,

or left arm first, no? I guess you feel it in your arm, and your arm gets pain or numbness, right? And then you feel, but you also feel it in just, but you also feel nausea and tiredness, and shortness of breath. That's the leading aspect of it. It sounds like I up to a heart attack every day. Who is that? Lies a manality. Oh my god. It was my birthday yesterday. Oh my god. I love you. I

Turned into my early hundreds I just my sister as a brain aneurysm now she knows what it feels like I just I just watched the Wizard of Oz last night with your mama She's the lapill nose pup mama It's just really funny And Michael Jackson was really funny Maybe we would laugh Assuming that's a good impression. I've never heard Liza Manelli Try it. Oh, so Sam.

I was telling Sam the other time that I'm hanging. How's it going? It's a little rough because I'm, yeah, it's usually better. But that's still great. We have a very special guest on the couch. What's your name?

Brad, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. You too, Brad? Yes. Brad, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too, buddy. We got Dante here. Of course, I love you so much, Dante. Nice to meet you too, buddy. We got Dante here. So of course, I love you so much, Dante.

I do too. You're my pal, buddy. You didn't even text me back about the car I wanted to get Max. Well, because you get, you spend too much money on the kid. You spend too much, he wants to get my fucking. I mean, look, dude, you get my awesome ones, that car, no. And I showed him and he flipped out

He would that's all like a power or like it was do you remember the green machine? No it was It was like a you remember Joe the green No the green machine my buddy the car that you ride but you it turn with levers. I don't think so what could you find a green machine But it's it's it was an electric Green machine. It's kid car kid car. It's a kid car. I just remember do you remember power wheels power power Power wheel. Yeah, this was a power wheel. It is, but it was the green There it is. That's it. See if not only the good car is Dune racer the Dune race. That's the one I'd send him. Yeah, but

See that's the kind of ant I'm gonna be. Just spoil the shit out of my knees. How awesome is that? 200 bucks is nice. Those kids are having so fun. The kid on the left looks like a young Miranda from Sex and City. That's what you say, Dante and the guy on the couch.

No. It's just 199. That's easy. Yeah, get it for him. Get it for him. That's fucking awesome. easy. Yeah, get it for him. Get it for him. It's fucking awesome. Yeah. Yeah, all right.

When he gets five. How old is your kid? 17. Months? No, he's all going on five. Oh, he's the five. That's a good age. That's a good age.

Five. They're still nice and cute. He can be a little bit. What are you going to do when he turns 13? It turns on you. I'm going to stab him with a knife. Yeah. That sounds all right. I'm going to kill him. I would have been you. I'm gonna stab him with a knife. Yeah, that sounds all right I would have been better off my parents stabbed me with a knife. No, no, he'll be a bushcraft knife. He'll be he'll be fine

I think we'll see what happens I'll be the uncle that he buys the cars and sit when he turns you I'll be like that you dad I'll be the aunt to take into Broadway shows. Yes. Joe, what are you gonna be? Well, Matteno, I can take care of him because we'll still be around when he's 13. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Um, we have, we have, we have, so we get a rich boss. We have a great gig coming up. This WBAB comedy riot in Long Island. Get tickets. Go to my website right now.

Me and Rich Voss are fucking killing this at the, the, um, performing arts center over there at the Westbury Theatre. Have you done that room? It's in the round. I did it with you. It's in the round harder. No, in the round.

In the round, you kinda like all this gonna suck. It's, I love it, because you just walk. You just walk in, talk in. You kinda land when you hit your punchline on that part of whoever the fuck it is I hated it so much of photos. I wouldn't be in control of the angle. What are you talking about? Yeah, you look good at any angle buddy. What's wrong with you? Oh, that's a theater. Wow. That's so beautiful Where's that Westbury Connecticut long Island long Island? I. I saw Jackson Brown there, and I made him laugh.

What'd you do? Show him your peepee? Good one. That's hurtful, Bobby. It's really hurtful. You don't know who's listening. I do. I do, actually.

So sweet. No, all the idiot older people were yelling out songs, and I say, play whatever you like. I trust you. And he laughed. He's like, that's good. That's really good. That was nice.

Who are you with? Jason Canner. We were the youngest people there. I've seen him And he laughed, he's like, that's good. That's really good. It was nice. Who are you with? Jason Canner. We were the youngest people there. I've seen him about 20 times and we're always, uh... This is hair still, is it black or is it great? Perfect. It's black and it's just swooped and it's nice. It's a wig, did you know it's a wig?

No, you're a wig. But, he's been wearing a wig for 30 years. No, I've seen Mariah seven times and felt nothing every time. Because someone please isolate that. That's a wig also. I've seen Mariah seven times and felt nothing every time Can someone please isolate that That's a wig also I just want to put that in the front of the show. I don't even know what the fuck that meant Mariah carry life seven times and just nothing every time keep going back. I you're right. You're right I'm like it a better way. I'm like it's changing just keeps getting worse. I can't I don't like concerts anymore

I can't sit in the crowd and Go what I can't hear it in the fucking city, but also you're a performer So I'm not saying you I mean I think he did just say me Actually point I don't know if you get more than anything. What about the Buffalo? Can I just say something? That's as me as you can get. There's no other information.

It's uncomfortable for me to sit at a car. I guess for me too. Yeah, hashtag me too. Hashtag me too. I can sit. Listen, I'm fine with the seating. That's not my problem. It's the crowd it's the crowd

just the crowd waiting there and the all the horse shit. It's all living in the room. There's always people that sing too loud out of key. They're yelling out the requester obnoxious. I get it. I go to a lot of shows. That's frustrant. The one I liked, I did Billy Joel front row. Wow. Second to front row. Second row. Second row. And we had a blast.

We danced. Everybody was dancing at Billy Joel, singing the songs, having a good time. That was a couple of weeks. That was a good time. I had a good time at Janet Jackson. Yeah. Oh, El Jon was there too. Sorry.

Shit. Shoo me to the mouth. The worst. What was song was that? You't know for tell me I Sarah Sarah Vaughan I'll tell you right now quiz me. I know since I don't like me question my soul. It's not a soul It's a reggae song. What is it? It's gay already brought it in Broadway. Yeah, no, no, tell me What brought it in Broadway? I know I know was by Jimmy Mac. No, it's not. It's by South South South. You're making it up. It's so very, it's so very, It was influenced by Bob Marley and the Whalers.

Everybody was influenced by Bob Marley. That was his point. Even I had my own record album in 1974. I didn't do very well. Ah, Mateo. I can listen to it all day, I don't know. Maybe I'm getting old. Should I talk a fly? Should I talk a fly? I'm just an old, I can listen to it all day, I don't know why. Maybe I'm getting old. The little shit talker flyer. I'm just an old flame dame.

I am a flame dame, a flame dame. I love when you turn it down, I'm a flame dame. So this was kind of fucked up. First, it's two things that's happened over this weekend. I did the show at Carlson on Comedy, Comedy on Carlson up in Rochester, brand new club. Fucking great. I mean, comedy all Carlson up and Rochester. Brand new club. Fucking great. I mean, but all the owners care.

They really give a fuck about the sound, the way the room's set up. They bought chairs so it's not, it's fucked the people. Sit down, everybody's faced towards the comedian. There were some people like, I wanna face my friends and like, nope. They don't put big tables together. Even there was a group of 20, they were all separated. Broke them up. They were like, can we say no, you can't explain to me, explain why that

is important. That's the listeners. Because if you're with a group of people, you're going to be like, you know, you, you, you run the show. You guys think it's your show. Yeah. And you'll talk to each other and you won't pay attention. Split them all up, tables are four and they're all facing the show. And the attention is about the show, the show that you went to see. Yeah. I had someone I was doing shows at Lincoln Lodge two weeks ago in Chicago and the whole group of gay guys tweeted at me, we're going to get wasted before your show. We're going to be so drunk and I literally wrote back and said, if you get drunk at the show, I will not let you in. And they're like, really why?

I don't get it. I said, I'm in like, I should be funny about it. But I'm like, if you show up drunk, people don't get it. It's like not a rock concert. I have a belt. You get paid 10,000. Well, there's one kid, there's a kid to the left,

second show, Friday night to the left, with a smoking hot blonde. Wouldn't stop whispering in her ear and they don't think that's heckling because they think heckling is you suck a blah blah shut up dude stop talking her stop it over and over and over again and every time I would say something he'd start talking to her you know and she'd look at him and then I start seeing the people around them looking at them right every time and I. And I flip, I'm like, shut the fuck up. You fuck. He want to be in a huge whack. It WD fan. He was just whispering under your house.

He was getting into. He knew. I came out after he's like, I'm like, he erased my podcast off his phone. He totally wrote me off as a fucking really. No, yeah. And I go, you, I go, you cock suck. He goes, dude, I was I go shut up. You don't talk there on the show. He goes He goes I'm a big fan. I go then you should know out of anybody. Yeah, you should fucking not whisper Dude, I was talking about you. I was telling her about I go what is that change? I don't know what the fuck that means Here's the thing if you did feel bad. Yeah, no I always a place for you at Tuesdays with stories every Tuesday He's there. I did just show a long time ago. Yeah. I hope he comes to your show

and whispers in your ear the whole fucking show. I like whispering. That's good. Well, that's a great club. Last time I was there, I had a special guest to a set. Louis. Maybe you heard of him. Louis. Very crimmence.

Oh, really? Dead. Jesus Christ. That is very sad that he died. Did we talk about this last week already? Barry Cremens died? We didn't talk about that. Yeah, you did. We did Barry Cremens die last week.

From what? From life. He was like a cancer. His wife had terminal cancer when I was talking to him. Holy shit! And then she got better and then he fucking died. Yeah. But I was there in August and then I looked up our last message and it was really sweet He wrote to have a great wedding and an even better marriage. Love you brother. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he holy crap

He was really sweet man great guy. Is that my house? Good guy. What was he at your house for when he died? Nobody killed bad criminals. No, it came by, it was with Kurt. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, they were really tight. Yeah, they were real tight. I talked to Kurt too, he was real sad. Yeah, he was a great guy. I was always scared of him. I met him once at a college years ago.

It was him and some other political satire girl and me. And I was really fucking like, I don't know what to talk. This guy's gonna hate me. I'm doing stand up, blah, I don't even want to talk to him. I always regretted it. And I got a chance to meet him later in life. And I told him, I go, dude, I was such an egotistical, fucking scared asshole that last time. And I don't even remember it. I really wanted to say hi to you, but I was nervous that you might not like me.

And I was all fucked up. I was like, what's up? I was like, what's up? I was like, what's up? I was like, what's up? I was like, what's up? I was like, egotistical fucking scared asshole that last time and I don't remember it. And I really wanted to say hi to you, but I was nervous that you might not like me and I was all fucked up so I just kept my mouth shut. Do you get nervous about people not liking you? Back then I did, not now.

Not now? No, not now, because I don't care anymore. But back then when I was in my late 20s, early 30s, yeah, you meet a guy like that Barry Crimson, I'm from Boston. He's so well-known. And when guys like that do comedy, it makes you feel shitty about your comedy.

As it should. Colin Quinn, I see him do 15 new minutes on heart attack, three days after I had a heart attack, and I'm like, oh, I suck. Can we just do bosses stuff tomorrow? Yeah, right. Two. One. But he's one of those guys who went up and talked about shit and you're like, oh my

God, that's just. Over for Jackson Brown for years, or for a couple of years. Yeah. But he was the sweetest guy in the fucking world to me. Yeah, great. Sweet and his movie was the hardest movie I ever had to watch. I mean, I couldn't stop watching it, but I almost, I cried during the fucking movie.

The movie is just devastatingly honest and crazy. You have to watch his movie. I went to a lot of stuff. Like, I mean, God, he went through some shit. A lot of station and abuse. Four-year-old. I'm sitting there, because I had Max. I saw the movie, he was like three and a half.

And I'm just like I said a crying. I'm like, God, fucking help. If anybody ever, ever, ever, fucking touch my son. I don't know what I would do. I'd have to go to jail. I'd have to fucking get a ski mask and go to jail. I think I'll a ski mask. We could just we could plan on trying to get away with it. I'm not gonna fucking just show up to be an asshole. I think I'll ski mask. We could just we could plan on trying to get away with it. I'm not gonna fucking just show up to be an asshole. I'm gonna try to have plausible. We can I believe you. I'm gonna get a bone earring. Get a bunch of shiny rings. I'm gonna get a bunch of shiny rings. That's just about time. Like if you punched me, like especially with those on, I would get dead. I would get hard.

Yeah, I'd be... Daddy immediately. Barry was, uh, his movies called me Lucky. And then there's also when stand-ups stood out, which is he's the main person. So there's like two movies. You could really spend four hours and really get to know, uh, Kermans. Yeah. And, and, and, and, is comedy if you Google it, are you two of it?

It's fucking great. There's a lot of great stuff We will not negotiate with terrorists either they want the weapons. They don't I'm believe what sad that he's gone really it's a special right yeah, Louis did a special forum But the I don't think his website exists anymore, so well Lewis. No, I don't know. I don't know. I haven't looked I'm pretty dead he did pretty special I can't wait till he comes back I'm so sick of these fucking people It's enough already fucking god damn I got it was I got a mention in the the blaze dot com But what it's Luis CK went to the comedy seller to see his friend Joe list. I'm like, ooh Feather in my cap

Fucking make that about you to my bio my cap. I just fucking make that about you. To my bio. So that's so you now on the front page of my website. That's such a now-comic video. You only people who have been seeing me right now. I know. I know you're content being real. All right. Well don't act like I'm making fun of those people. I know. Some people don't know. They just listen and they go, oh, this is the thing. These people they look up to you. Who's these people? I know some people don't know they just listen and go This is the thing these people they they look up to you people they look up to you 89 people formerly 90 people that are listening the best guys out He's back in I got a bad it's hot as fucking I got it. Wow. That's where the most appropriate shirt. Thank you

Joe's so dead man you can't always tell when he's joking, you know, I mean, Joe, and I was joking apology because we were at the stand and Joe goes, oh, you know, because Mateo put on a lot of muscle. He goes, uh, he goes, uh, I bet you, uh, Joe, I bet you could, Mateo could beat you. I go, but I could beat you. And it was just got really quiet. And was like I was like and then I was like Oh, I didn't yeah, it just kind of came out. Here's the thing with Joe Joe's very sensitive. I very sensitive I'm sorry. I'm sorry Joe Joe is very sensitive

You could probably beat the shit out of me. He's very sarcastic. Yeah, both of you Together, no doubt they were just destroy me. I was the first to show. I thought it was really uncomfortable, I was like, but it just kind of, I just kind of clicked. You know what I mean? It just kind of clicked on it. No, I've had to learn to deal with you. I've had to learn to learn to learn to deal with you. And a different way than I deal with other people.

Like I deal with you in a certain way, Keith. Yeah. But I deal with Joe. I have to really be careful because I don't want to he's very breakable Well, we're not a fucking manager and umpire. We can just talk Bobby's like fucking turns his hat around kickstart He's chewing snuff. Hey, man. I'm working on my problems Are you sensitive Joe? I don't think I'm sensitive, but I don't like my friends to do that. I'm just saying I'm very sensitive We know we know we know who's the way you said it. Are you sensitive Joe? I don't think I'm sensitive, but I don't like my friends to do that. I'm just saying I'm very sensitive.

We know. We know. We know who is the way you said it. Are you sensitive Joe? I am. I agree. You're not that sensitive. I'm very sensitive. I'm very, very, very, yeah.

I'm... Can we say the F word? I don't know. I'm not the Faggot police. There's a kind of... I'm not what he's talking about. It's kind of a running tradition here. Not with me. Are you... You don't seem sensitive. You talking about. It's kind of a running tradition here. Not with me.

You don't seem sensitive. You seem like you're very confident. You seem like you don't. If someone's not, it's weird though. That is not. He locked in here like he fucking on the place. Yeah, but he's really thin. I think with men, I'm really, really, really insecure. Dante knows.

Yeah, he's not. With men, I just crumble. I'm not that like. Which is ridiculous. He's fucking gorgeous and he's funny and town and it just crumble. I'm not ridiculous. I don't fucking gorgeous and he's funny and town and it just like you go. It's got a great cock too. I don't know. I don't know. I haven't seen it. Oh, I have never googled my Bobby. But he has Google my ass. I was fucking ass is brilliant.

I showed you were talking about my ass on the pocket. Like looking at my wife your ass. I'm gonna see this guys ass. She was like what the fucking homo? She caused me the queen of the house. I am. He is a big, he is real sensitive. I mean when he's going through that thing with the Dominican dude, like a year ago.

I was like you're fucking way more honest than this dude. I was like this dude's a fucking douche. I'm not sensitive when it comes to relationship stuff. No, but I mean, he was. I'm sensitive when it comes to, like, kids, people getting hurt. I don't like people being mean. I don't like to be mean. Did you just say that?

You know what bothers me about when you see people? I'm fine with it. I hate people being mean to people for no reason. You have a bully, you don't like a bully. I hate people for no reason. I hate when I say people. I hate when people for no reason. Yeah, I don't like it. I hate when people cry. I hate when people cry.

But he thinks, I don't, but they think of bullying when we think of bullying two different things. I bet you what I think is a bully is way different. I think, I hate when people are crying on the streets. That like breaks my heart. I want to walk up to, I really love it. Oh, I bet.

I mean, that's so common in New York. I mean, I'll cry, I make it. But I see when that that breaks my heart. I'm like,, that's so common in New York. I mean, well, cry, I'm gonna get me. But I see that that breaks my heart. I'm like, oh, I wanna give my hug. He's probably those rough on people. And then when they have feelings of hurt, then he gets upset. He's sensitive because the hurt gets feelings.

Yeah, he cares. Like if they could take it, he's fine. But if he hurts, then he's like, dude, I don't even have a friend. How are you to feel better? Here's the thing, I'm right here. Number two, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Because we hang out in a certain, my guys in a hangout with, we're very vicious to, we've very mean to each other, but then I hang out with other generations throughout the people. No, so that they can't take it. It's just a different vibe and a different thing. You know what I mean?

No, they can't take it. But there's certain people that can't take it, it's just a different vibe and a different thing, you know what I mean? I have no idea. But there's certain people that can't take it. Well that's the thing and you just have to, like I have a lot of different friends. Some friends feel like, yeah, you're a fat fuck, you fucking loser. And then there's something. Fuck there's something.

Well then don't do that. Well, don't stare at me and not play when you said that. Why, I'm trying to be a man. I'm trying to talk to your face to face. All right. You fucking queer relax. I feel like I don't get sensitive with comics. I like that.

I like the ball bust in camaraderie. Some comics don't do it. I don't do it. You just go, I don't do it. I'm like, I'm a comic. I mean, I want to be like, hey, nice face, bitch. You fucking look like you can. There's some comics that aren't into that.

Yeah, you gotta be careful. I don't fucking- It wasn't like that before. No, it's always been like that. Even since I came here, there's certain comics I don't fuck with. And I tried to fuck with and their friends of mine. We're really good friends, but I do not fuck with them.

I mean, I think Jerry's NFL, if you wanted the Seinfeld in 1980 and you're like, yeah, because you're a fucking kite loser. I don't think it's easy. What the fuck? I meant to say, when you put in Jew or something else, I mean to say that.

Wow. It was a hypothetical. It was even alive in 1980. I was just picking words, not me. I mean, you get picked different words. You get words. It's a little telltale. So hot in here.

You know what? Stop being racist. You want me so fucking hot. What? Doesn't make you hot. Choose. That's not a race. What? Well, that's not what my lawyers said. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He must bulls on that, what's that show? The comics and cars or comics getting coffee? Yeah, he has cars. Yeah, he has cars. All right, when you're sitting at the table,

who's your favorite person to sit down? At the cellar? Yeah. Ooh. Like, mind's Keith Robinson sits down. I'm like, beyond happy. I get so excited. I get so excited.

I'm the exact opposite. I would eat the sound. I just feel excited. I feel like I just ate bad chicken. I'm like, I'm like, oh, thank God Keith is here. Oh, God. I think he's so funny. It's so much fun. When I come in, how do you feel?

I bill-wildered. I'm nervous. No, I love when you're there, because especially when you and Keith are there. It's like entertainment I just sit and smile and watch what I was gonna say when I come in and sit down at the table I'm you know I'm elated when that whole that old vibe that old Patrice vibe is but I'm like, oh This is the best thing ever. I'm also a big stern fan

So I think I'm used to like that kind of like ball bust. I just find it wildly entertaining But here's the thing too that happens. I remember DeRose saying this, he's like, stop trying to do the seller thing. And we always do the seller thing or the Patrice thing. But that's also just this ball busty ball. Everyone's not of this sell-a-thing. That's a man thing.

But that's a man thing. I got these in a construction site. I'm going to ban you up. I fucked you up. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to back to you up because I agree. I want to back him up too. I want to tell you, you go before the host.

Okay, this is going to be a weird Chuck's position, but drag queens, all my friends are drag queens. You definitely go. But drag queens, one, I wanna say that the grind of a drag queen and the way that, it's all the same as comedy. Same thing, like bar shows, surreal shows, the TV that they,

and all they do is ball bust each other. So it is a male thing, like you, way we talk to each other. You're absolutely right, but here's what that is. When someone says, oh, do you have to do the seventh thing or I don't wanna do the seventh thing? I'll tell you what that is.

That is a fucking cop out. He's trying to make you feel. They're trying to make you feel shitty. Well now I feel bad that I said to Rosa. It's just a thing. I'm not doing it. I wanna think that Rosa's hair. I think we've all done it.

I'm not saying he's the only one who did it. I think I have to do, fuck the sell-it thing. Or something like that, I'll relax and say to the seller. When people say that, it's just like, that's their way of fucking with you to make you feel shitty about doing the sell-it thing. Like somehow that's the, like you're a fucking pussy or an idiot.

Well, you're less than if you do the seller I do want to say Michelle wolf Tom pop and I talked about how to make sourdough bread the other day at the seller So it's not always ball bus, right? Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that But that's the thing like in the fifth grade Rest especially if your career is finished like Tom pop up Slowly becoming a baker Fuck happen I stop that was my NBC In fucking two shows what NBC best friend to Jerry What the fuck happened? Stop that was my MBC

And fucking two shows on MBC Best friend of Jerry He hasn't been to lunch with Jerry in fucking two years The fuck Well we be coming up Baker Tom, of course I'm joking Tom, pop is one of the finest guys in the world Who makes bread

A lot of bread I would love to make bread He stole my bread thing though I cooked bread before Tom. You bake bread. I make bread, but I gotta get it. First of all, I'm gonna fucking bake you. Listen, I'm the one who fucking rejuvenated bread making in the comedy community.

Se mato. Okay. Fuck you too. I said you're crazy. Oh. I'm, I, first of all. Oh, you know what, Instagram's your work. Listen to me.

I, just look at me, look at me. Don't look at the fucking thing. You get, shiny shit, you start looking. A lot of the kisses that I got, it's a fatopane. You're the one, I'm teaching you Italian. Oh, I'm teaching Joe French. I know, I bailed in the French.

I can't do French. I suck. Mattel. Yes, I fucking do it. I fucking beg bread. And we can go back, and this is timestamped on my Instagram to where Tom, Tom, Tom, Papa started baking bread. And I baked bread for my grandmother.

What, you're right, right? I'm Italian. What is this claiming baking bread? Fucking, we're gonna have bread in the 17th day. One second. One second. One second. First of all, it's called a podcast

and you fucking try to make jovial things and competitions. So people fight and argue and have a fun time. Yeah, but you need to double up on Alan. I come in here, you're like, we created the logo, we did the first podcast, I made bread. I fucking, just be you baby. Wait, and social media, I invented social media. Just be you.

No, I invented social media, don't forget that. Did you invent an air conditioning? Oh, let's be honest, date, date, I'm gonna convince it's social media. Now, he did better at it than me. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old.

I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old.

I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old.

I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I was fucking a hundred years old. I like a shows for months ago You're not gonna meet a nice boy. I can't eat up. You got a clean up the page. Are you serious? Yeah, I'm dead serious I didn't know that look a little old thing about like making your page Let's go back up. Scroll look at look at right there. Look a little Bobby. Look at me. Oh Scroll down look at this motel. What about this guy in high school scroll down? Oh? Ready ready right there look at high school. That's my high school photo That's a curly mullet you're more latino than Lewis Gomez has ever been What a calling Quincy you left Italian a hot Italian came back at fat Mexican All right, I'll couch relax with the laughing that much

Yeah, some of these are really nice photos of you like you with the seller over there So scroll down screw with my bed. Look at that one Mateo. What about this one? Screw right there on the left look at that. That's when I was a life-cutter to you Thank you. Yeah, what do you think about that? Yeah, sorry. I'm not asking you you look like when no one a judge You know, can you fucking stop being a con and just give me a compliment? All right? You look cute Thank you. Okay, click on that. That's what I and just keep me a compliment? Alright? You look cute. Thank you.

Okay, click on that. That's what I wanted. It was a compliment. Scroll down. Scroll down. Scroll down. That's me jerking off a guy. Go back up.

Who's tits? What's with the tits? She's the best fan ever. Wait, go down to the tits. Right there. Gee, whiz. Why are you scrolling past the tits? Bobby, you got some good photos.

You got a rearrangement. What were you doing for me? Yeah, I'll show you how. Is that a real thing? Put it in my house and show you. I'll show you how to lay out. She's an artist. I can't believe that didn't get reported.

And no, it's not tips, it's just a thing. It's going to find the bread. You have a fun life. I do have a great life. I've created a great life for myself and I'm very happy. I'm really, yeah. It's nice to look at this.

Yeah, I do have a great life. I do a lot of this, my kid. You got your kid, your fun, you hang out like my friend or friend. My friend or friend, yeah. Oh, Kevin Meaney. I love stuff. Kevin Meaney's gone too.

Yeah. Oh, I hate that dumb robot woman. Why would they make her with a full face and no wig? Look at that guy. Yeah, I would, I, Stop fucking cockplock me into front of Mateo. Why do you have fucking? But Dante is the king. I'm not even gonna say when he was younger. Yeah.

Those kind of, I mean, fuck you. Why do you have beef cakes in your locker? You could. That was the guy in front of his hangover. Did he's casino? The girl I was dating, that was her room. Oh, I see. Her mother dressed me up like this.

Click on, click away. She dressed me up and scroll back up. Can you listen to me please, not listen to you. Scroll back to where I was. The record only goes. The record only goes. The tits. Right there.

She dressed me in that outfit, her mother, and took photos of me. Then her mother's gonna go to jail soon. Yeah. Soon. That was a long time ago, my friend. Look at that half mesh shirt. Remember mesh?

That's what you think, man. That's a crop top. I'm gonna do some crop tops this summer. Me too. We take our fishes together. Yeah, please, no, no, you do that with what's his name? Stop roast. Oh, stop, that's Stavros.

When we did the finger challenge, we ate, fucking sweet Sarachae chips, and I gave 200 bucks. I picked your of me shirtless right below the screen. I gave me 200 bucks to scrape with this two front teeth. The cheese off my finger. Yeah.

Oh, look at his finger. Go down. That was the great thing. Hey, you look good, Joe. Well, that was quite a while ago. I've been working out. I think I remember Jesus Christ, you chubby in that shirt. There's me.

Keep going. We'll find that bread. Find that bread. Oh, we're still looking for the bread? Yeah, this is all about that bread. We had a bread photo. All right, listen, here's the deal. It was Tom find that bread. Find that bread. Oh, we're still looking for the bread? Yeah, this is all about that bread. We had a bread photo. All right, listen, here's the deal. It was Tom Papa's bread.

Those Tom Papa's bread doesn't compare to my bread. All right, you're not gonna find it. You have so many, gotta get rid of these posters. All right, will you get rid of it from this? Yes, I'll show you what to do. Thank you. I wanna go to this real quick. Go to the, this is, this almost broke my heart.

You know, Richard Pryor's son. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. prior son oh yeah I just heard about it the Apollo this weekend and he walked out and I was so excited it's like fuck this is this could be it this could be a moment why I just wanted it I was down today on the I know what this is like because my mother was famous. And I was always comparing to her. I had to separate myself. But he lies a logistic poke. But it was a thing, Liza, you did have a great career. Yeah, you were talented.

So you kind of picked the ball up. My mother gave me my drive. But my father gave me my dreams. Yeah, but the guy that wrote the Argo's name is Ron Dicker. It's worth mentioning. All right, so here we go. That's actually a great way to follow that joke. I mean, I felt bad. Why?

I want to, can we watch and perform? The photo is by Don, I don't even know her. It's not even two minutes. I felt bad. I'm going to tell you why if you stop saying, fucking why, I'm on the verge of telling you. All right, let's watch. Let's watch. Well, the reason the reason stop for one second the reason why I feel bad is cuz this this is Richard Pryor's fucking prodigy. This is his son. He looks like him. He sounds like him and if he was as funny as him It would be great for another generation like a Liza Manelli to have that family lineage

after she does for another fucking never happens. Eliza Manelli it happened. He should have had Bob Fossy. choreographed and Billy Haw. Billy Haw. Oh great. Why is Steve Harvey involved in anything when there's a mess up? Because he's involved in everything.

Everything black people do. Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey. Anything anyone does. First of all, I have a problem with the Apollo in general, because it shows a sickness in black people. What? Apollo is a sick, so he is, if you think about the Apollo,

the Apollo is a show where people who are untalented and uncreative get to shit on the people who are trying to be creative. That's every gay bar in America. And why would you, why is that a thing? Why is that even a thing? I don't like fucking tired Mattel. That's every gay bar in America. I can use that to do a lot.

I'm just smoking a cigarette. We have, honey. You know, just a tire. I can't wait to be a tired old queen who just doesn't give a shit I don't even why know why you would go on the apostasy ridiculous if you someone convinced have you ever gone to like Just go to see it Kathy Griffin got food you can't even like if you go Right, yeah, so the Keith. Oh Keith got a hot one Like if you go board, right? Yeah, so the Keith. Oh Keith got a hot one

If you go to the Well Keith Keith just started shitting on Harlem But the point is you have if you go to and you're like at two hours of it sitting there after a while You like could could I watch somebody perform something literally a people walk out and they're like, BOOM! You don't like there's nobody performing, it's just but it's like a boo and people. This was a mistake on whoever, his family,

whoever the fuck his family is and friends. Whoever's handling them. You should have said, you don't do this. You should have never went up as a competition. You should just go up and do stand up and fast what you're gonna do. You're doing that. You know what he should have done

is work towards like a late night show. Something. Dude like a late night set or something. That would have been like the respectful thing to do in audience. But this black people have this affinity for, oh I passed the appa. Fuck you.

Like, nobody in that audience is fine. I kind of love it. I mean, this video is a 13 year old Lauren Hill just being booed Yeah, I mean it's like what is like why would you ever boo Lauren Hill as Thing is like if you don't matter. She's so good Lauren Hill So what a fuck are you you paying money to boo people? Yeah, it's kind of funny. I mean They're all as only way you're not booboo in the video the only way you're not booboo in the in the in the in the Apollo to me is if you sing gospel music

Cuz black people don't boo God. That's the dumbest thing every no one know black people boo God What do you do when you do when you do see stick God does think? Don't say that on my podcast. I mean, it's not real. If God does not, God, God's real. Okay, there was a God, but, I wouldn't exist. And I'm from Mexican. I mean, I'm Irish Mexican Italian.

I'm the most Catholic. Oh my God. I was an altar bling, God's not real. I don't wanna watch this, ready? But those priests certainly are. And you know, all right, let's go play it. Make some noise. Loud. That as a music loud

Steve Harvey actually stop stop shut up let it play just let it fucking play That looks like Richard Come from the back He look like a Danny would say I just let you say to go I Stop All right listen here's the problem cuz he tried to do what his dad does That that that he's trying to sound like his dad. Don't you think yes? Well maybe it's like it actually does he actually does sound like his dad. Like his voice actually does sound like his dad. That's to that temp.

Yeah, he does sound like him. So you know him. No, but I mean, I saw him the TMZ interview. He sounds like his dad is way better. I sound like my mother. I got a minute to it. All right, God. We watch Liza after this.

They like nervous. I can literally hear my dad up and heaven right now. Like, boy, you're not gonna miss this up. All right. A lot of crazy stuff going on right now. Donald Trump is president. Nah, calm down. I'm not as mad as Facebook is.

You read the messages. Oh, Donald Trump, this the worst president ever. I'm not the smartest man before hundred years of slavery and not one at him presidents made to cut Stop well first of all the country is not that old so Like he should say 230 years of presidents. No, but that's weird to add the extra 170 Actually joke that Wanda did at the Boston Congress come home a couple years ago. When he first became president, she came out and she goes, listen man, you know, look at this guy. He said he's the most prosecuted. Yeah, he said he, he can't be the most, you know, there's other motherfuckers. Yeah, but we said he said he's the first one we

know about. Yeah, look at this guy's face. face It's like have you ever seen someone trying so hard to hide how much they hate what they're watching not him But look at the woman who her ocean she's flat out just showing what you really feel the guy in the left is like I'm so uncomfortable That was me watching cats the rod of musical remember Doraldos joke the worst president. He's your George Bush the worst president the worst president ever the worst he's like what about the president of the salina fan club she's not worse i don't know i thought the other shirt you're on the on its a trust nobody

i don't know if i'm so funny i got played party like i understand really what's the problem with Donald Trump. Everybody here in America know the code. If you get caught cheap, you got to cut your side thing loose. Donald Trump's still on the phone with the White House talking to Russia. See, he fucked it up.

Steve has stopped giving the cue. Hey, I want to hear this fucking joke. Relax. I'm going to hear his point. I didn't let it start. I didn don't know. I don't care. Let me just shut the fuck up. Can everybody shut the fuck up and let me listen? Yes. Oh, my man right now you go get my poop. Is that you my poop? I love you so much. I love the way you smell. I love the way your name comes off of my lips. Oh shit, uh, and then he broke. I know body.

Oh, God. Have some respect. Oh, I got that turn so quickly. Because I'm telling you this is like honestly, Bobby, the same shit happens in Rome and the opera if you fuck up really Now it's over. You gotta keep going. We're gonna be greater. They edited it so the audience was booing Susan Boyle booing Susan Boyle. Dicks, Steve Robby fuck you. Yeah, this is amazing. Oh god, it's pissing. I want to hear this on his Okay, let's play that I want you to say better jokes

Okay, listen to this shut up Steve I'm on a unit wearing a glittery red I can't hear him cuz every fucking happened just cause he is dead His daddy the reason I'm here today Little chance we'll see we can get him back. Are you gonna get him back? Don't come back. Does it come back? I don't know Please don't get him back for what please don't come back. Please don't come back. Please don't come back. Please don't come back. Please don't come back. Please don't come back. Come on.

He's out. Don't come back. So you can do it any way you want to for a couple of minutes. I'm just playing until I'm just on the 5. You can do it any way. Shut up. There's a couple of minutes. Oh God.

I'm Steve. I would go. He goes back on. Twist stand. This is the last one. I'm Steve God. You see, I would go. He goes back on. Twist him, this is all fake. This is my real life.

Oh, shit. Mateo, are you fucking even here with us? Are you on your dumb phone? I can't lie, I'm fucking 13 year old asshole. Get off your phone. I have a not my phone. I'm my dad's youngest son. As a a child her and when my mom told me the story about how my parents split up She walked in the room was like honey. I'm pregnant dad was like gotta go

Always ask my mom like when I was a kid cuz I was like what did you do wrong? My mom now you gotta understand my mom is the sweetest Southern bell type of chick. She's like, little old me. Is this hard to watch? Thanks. He's so sweaty. He's so sweaty. And for me, I was like,

well, that's where you messed up right then. You can learn no tricks. Oh, shit. Right. That's right. After we boojo, ask, shut the fuck up. Punch somebody in a fucking mouth. I'm like, you know, that's my time.

Mason pride. They added to the fuck out of that second. Yeah, I mean guy the whole thing is just contrived and fake and it's just Horset fucking awful Just cuz your daddies hot don't make you hot fuck that. Oh God. You're Corner of this because it's ridiculous is fucking ridiculous. Why would why does he in a pass because of what is father? Yeah, accomplished. Yeah, yeah,. That's real. He gets a fucking pet. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're a son. It's a pass too. No, I don't have a son. He doesn't get a pass. If you had a son and

you did have a son, you killed them. But you had sons. If you had a son, that was hurtful. The first of all. If you had a son, if you had a fucking son, that got him to stand up, he would get a pass from all of us. He would get a pass from one club in the city that works you. And that's... Yeah, but we're nervous. I ain't gonna be nervous, we're gonna be nervous. We're gonna try to fuck with Dante and he doesn't get it.

Wait. My point is, you get a certain look. You sure you get to work, but you don't get a certain look. He sure you get a, you'll get to work, but you don't get the fucking Apollo. And why would you do the Apollo anyway? I agree with you there. I don't think that's interesting.

What you're saying about the Apollo, as far as they're setting people up, I think Steve Harvey absolutely. Is he queued them? I think so. He queued them and then put this dude in front of the Apollo where the whole premise, people go there, they pay money to shit on creative people.

Fuck the Apollo. I agree with you. It's like Twitter, but live. But it's the same. But what is last comic standing? The first week, same shit, they don't boo, it's worse. But I have to remember the Because these

We have to remember people the judges fucking attack you on live TV Have you ever been booed off the Fuckin' stay like that the reason the show also exists because that's not the worst thing in the world Performance keep coming on their own accord you know what you're getting into and you go to the Apollo. So there is no surprise. If you get booed, you have to accept that. Yes, because the whole thing about the Apollo and getting past the Apollo is a,

it's kind of become this kind of black milestone that you do as a performer that you need to get past. These fucking douchebags who have no creativity at all. Are they wrong though? I mean, it's a black milestone, like reaching the age of 50. It's very important. I'm there.

God. It is not there. But is it? And I've never been arrested, huh? All right, listen. Not worth it. Not yet. Listen.

If they didn't get me now, they'd probably not even get me, but listen. Everybody leave it. What's going on here? Being on the Apollo, first of all, I think they were right, look, here's the thing, if you're not good, they boo you. They immediately let you know.

They don't just sit through it, they go boo. He was not good. He opened up with a Trump joke that was not that funny, was not that relevant, what didn't fucking wash out, the math wasn't right on it, and they fucking booed him. So that was actually right. The problem too is the expectation.

Like anyone who comes from that famous of like someone's so iconic, like Marie Presley, remember her? She made that album, we never talked about it again. Like it's just, you know, it's just you know I love that was a little old. He knows all the gay shit. Yeah, I remember her like coming on VH1 She's like I'm gonna rock out, but like you know she like Warling and the hair wasn't right and then We watched the video and everyone was like this is great and literally like the day after just we know whenever spoke of it again

It was a very white way of dealing with things. But look at if can I say something too? His father fucking bombed his first special that he did back. Like he was bombing for different reasons. I'm not finished, but let me fucking finish it. I'm just fucking fine. Yeah, no, but I'm not, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know,

come on, come on, come on, come on. You know, you know what the fuck you're talking about? He bombed his first special that he did back when he stopped being the clean bill Cosby guy and went away and came back. He filmed it at the improv. That's the Italian restaurant now, Giovanni's. And it sucked.

Any bomb, but he bombed. He said strip, too. And he bombed the first show. Bombed it's on set strip. So bombing isn't the fun. So what, he bombed. That don't's son says strip. So bombing isn't the fun. So what? He bombed. That don't fucking mean shit. Are you right?

But he is, there's like, there's a, well, I was gonna say is he bombed because he was moving the mark. He was changing and he was advancing. He was evolving. And so the audience wasn't used to what they were watching. But now we look back and say, oh wow, it's because he was doing something remarkable.

I don't think the set we just watched was moving anything. His, his's because he was doing something remarkable. I don't think the set we just watched was moving anything. I want to say something about just what we call chitlin circuit comedy. Right. That's offensive. Well, it's what it is. What's called? Can we call something out?

Black, Jeff Jam, comedy, I love it. Okay, okay. All right. Uptown. Uptown. Joe's teaching you how to just be deadpan, right? I don't even start that with that. I like calling it, we don't go to that town. But it's I can give you uptown. Joe's teaching you how to just be deadpan, right? I don't even start that with joking. I like calling it, we don't go to that town.

You're on there. But I don't know that part of town. Here's the thing. So you, the, Steph, joke, theft, and that kind of, ratchet kind of, crabs in a barrel thing, is built into the culture. The reason why it's built into the culture

is because, first of all, the image running the asylum. You don't, there's no real black comedy club. So every club every black Room is a room that is does a bunch of others so you could be going in for the comedy But probably not you're probably going for the after party. You're going for the girls You're going for the the ox tail The wings whatever everything is going so this that's not really the main focus. And here's what will happen a lot of times you'll get a young comical will come on stage. And if he bombs, the host will shit on the young comic for 15 minutes.

He'll use that comic to, so in a difference in mainstream comedy is dead if you are the host and somebody is heckling or somebody's given Wheat we Unify and team up. How many times okay? Okay, I know situation way understand, but we're going down a fucking you what you're doing Did you take me down a path that's far away from this actually? It's not because it's a mentality? I'm gonna tell you something because it is this this show evening at the Apollo Let's say something because it is this this show evening at the Apollo. Okay, is based on whether you're good enough to perform in front of a live crowd in Harlem.

Now many people come out and fucking kill. Many people come out and blow the crowd away. Many people come out and just murder and the place goes nuts. Okay, it's not everybody getting booed off stage now He legitimately if he did not have the if his last name was Smith He would have said we were all be like fuck him. He stinks. He fucking stays I feel that way with his last name, but The only reason why sad to me because it's his last name is that You know you it's like you want

priors stay up there and you, it would have been great if he came out and did kill. For me, I would have been like, wow, that's awesome. That another prior is going to grace the stage. And he still might though. He still might. Yeah, probably not. Well, they said that about us. We don't think they said that about his dad.

You don't think he said that about his dad? No. No. When he came back and bombed and was fucking. Absolutely not. I maybe did. I just wanna say, the first time I've performed live on television, I was turned into a legend.

He's also clearly doing an impression of his dad when he comes out. Yeah, I don't, but that is he, he's saying that's... I mean, that's his, but I mean, the inflection is definitely his father's inflection. I don't know. He's doing everything about it. He's doing the fucking, he's doing the fucking right here. What? I know there's no question.

No way to get around it. It's that constant. How long did it take him to get to that first punchline? There's no way you could do a black room and take that long to get to the punchline. Do you know nervous? Do you know nervous? He should have all, he, he didn't have to perform on a stage. He was doing a shit at some comedy club because he was, he was doing his jokes to the sides of the stage. He was pacing back and forth, kind of like his father.

Yeah, it's a surprise. But his father would stop and deliver the shit to them. But he would, but he was actually delivering the shit to the right and to the left, which is kind of a rookie mistake. And he was nervous, dude, you can see he was shit in his pants. It's a gig he shouldn't have done. And if he did it,

it doesn't his daughter do comedy too. It's a rain. But she's funny, right? Oh shit. Oh shit. This is the reason why I'm not even like this. Oh, this is a cuz rain has been doing Comedy she's not funny Well, it's the same thing is my sister Lorna I

Was really a tie one last time and Lorna was Because she was cleaning up after me in studio 54 Clean up after me in studio 50 form Has he been doing stand up for a while I never heard of it today. I was doing it for like six years six years six and a half no six years and three months Hey, don't great. Um, this the prior. What's out of your first name? Oh, what is this first name dick? What other the other brothers Richard pride the other one that wow Is it we don't even know it's that from the Mason is that from the mom is that from the one he was married to what mom is this I know he's been in movies, but I was in walk a shame Is he busy he's been doing stand up for a while like I've never heard of him like is this his first set and he was like

What I'm gonna go up there and do comedy Is he living L.A. or New York? This is a prior, right there. It's a must be L.A. It says it makes him prior, right there. Click on that. Yeah. Right there. Mamma mia. You know what I mean by the person?

The son of legendary prior has embarked upon the life quest of being a comic actor model. I've been doing stand-ups since 2007. Probably, apparently. Wow. His first credit is when 2014? Yeah, I don't see the filmography. I think he's gonna be successful in this business.

Well, this certainly got him a little bit of heat. I think he's gonna be successful. I think he's gonna be in some. I think he has some. Yeah, I think he has some. I think he has some. Give him a break. I think he has some.

Yeah, his dad's last name. Yeah, exactly. He's had to say five times just set you assholes up. Sorry, I mean, I think he has something. Yeah, it's dad's last name. Yeah, exactly I just had to say it five times just set you assholes up. Sorry. I mean, I was reading his film. I mean, you're like a swung at it. I gave you what you were looking for. No, you didn't. I give you enough of my Instagram. You fucking tease. Speaking of movies. Yes, we have a bunch of movies. I'm going to do this kind of if you guys want to.

You can give me your phone now. Great. I fucking got it between. DeepDiscount.com is one of my favorite sponsors of the YKWD podcast. Here it is, man. These guys are great. I literally bought a Blu-ray player so I could order stuff from these guys. Right now, deepdiscount.com is a loyal sponsor in my show.

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Now if you shaved that mustache, you're done. I'd rather go to my Instagram than my website. Listen to me, I have no control of this website. Mateo, yeah, focus. If you shaved that mustache, it's over. I mean, what are you gonna do? You're right. I probably, it's done.

That's when it was pretty thick. I mean, is that your thing? Uh, I've had it for a long time. I mean, do you ever get sick of it? No, I like it. You do. So you're just gonna keep it forever. Probably, yeah.

I have no intention of getting rid of it. Look at I like it. I think it's great. I'm not telling you to get rid of it. I'm just saying that it's almost like wearing the same shirt every now. You have to, if that's almost for the same shirt. I'm very like uniform base. I feel like a white t-shirt that's too tight, skinny jeans, mustache, same, same every day. It takes, it takes a certain guy to fucking pull off a goddamn mustache in 2018. Let's push it back. Okay, it's down in man.

We're back. The look is back. I hate November though, because everyone's like, you're doing it from November. I'm like, no. I said pull it off. Some people have mustache, but it looks like morons. Mateo actually looks good in it. That's a compliment. Thank you so much.

Um, I want to read this little thing from a fan real quick. I, you know, the fans of this podcast, first of all, showed up all weekend in Rochester. And I love when other people, when do shows and you show up, make sure you tell the comics you heard about them on the YKWD and that's why you're there. The fan thing that, uh, read that mic, Mike's gonna read this, Mushi Mike in his epic tone, his just, I mean, he's just, I don't know, captivating.

He's gonna read this from a fan. Go ahead. All right, you're gonna want to give him. I would never describe him that way personally. Yeah. The one from Ron Cornwall, right? Do I mean to read his lines? How many did I send you? I make it through the right one. How many mean to read it? How many did I send you?

I'm making sure it's the right one. How many did I send you? How many did I send you? Answer the question. Okay, that's the reason. Do I realize it? Bobbie? Yes, please.

Let me realize the reason. I just, she just saved you. Okay. I'm a really big podcast listener. Way above the norm. And I got the anxiety. So, you know, anything to get out of my head I listen on my commute in and out of the city from Brooklyn I listen in the car

I listen well I cook I listen well I'm in the shower I listen in the supermarket I listen on my way to the bar and I'm gonna get stabbed one of these things from walking in my podcast oblivion. But I listen to burb, I listen to marion, I listen to CBB, I listen to part of, I listen to radio lab, I listen to this American life, I listen to a couple of sports shows, dot dot dot. Anyway, I want you to know that my first listen on Monday and Thursday that day everyone uploads your podcasts is YKWD. Everyone on the cask with your laughs so hard, they're funny. I love that I never know who's gonna be absolutely out of their mind, sane, from week to

week. I love them and there's so many of you in the room and I like it the same time. Be absolutely out of their mind, sane, from weak to weak. I love them and there's so many of you in the room and I like it the same time, just one on one. I really laugh my ass off every show. I think you guys are killing it. And I just wanted to encourage you to keep up the good work. Thank you so much, Ron.

Thank you. PS, Bobby. Good luck with the delivery of your kid. Of your kid? The delivery. That's the last line, I didn't write it. All right. Just saying you're pregnant?

What's the, I don't know. Yeah, I think it's a version of Jeff. I think it's a version of me being covered. Well, no, it's from May 2013. That's why I was asking you about the delivery. Still applies. Five years old. Yeah. Oh, I just realized my podcast wasn't out yet. That's why it wasn't mentioned.

It's so funny that it's literally that, that mentality right there, even joking around is the way Joe really fears about everything. Well, clearly this guy should be on board with Tuesdays with stories. It's free every Tuesday. I told you he does Mondays and Thursdays. He doesn't do Tuesdays. He does Mondays and Thursdays, what's that mean? He download stuff on Mondays and Tuesdays.

My wife called. Yeah, I saw that. I was gonna say something, but then I'd be like, I got to call her real quick. And she never, she knows I'm doing this. Does she wanna talk to Liza? Maybe. It could be bad.

I don't know. Well, hello. I'm doing the podcast. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. I left my phone at home. I had me and Max went out, but I had left my phone at home. So why'd you call me?

Because I saw that you called me, so I called you back when I got home. Oh. But you know I'm doing the podcast. I didn't know what time you were doing it. And you didn't have to call me back because I text you and said, I saw you called and I'm home now. I left my phone here. But next to the call, it says what time I called.

OK, so I will call you back next time. No, no, no, I want you to comment see how this work. That's not you don't go so if I go left you don't have to go all the way right honey Hello Your podcast what's that mama you didn't have to call me back did Did you get the text I sent you? No, I didn't get the text. Okay. Hi, Dawn. That's Dante. Ah, that's Dante. That's Dante.

Joe's here too. Say hi, Jane. Hi, Dante. Hi, Dawn. That's Liza Manelli. Oh, God, my wife's gay. Hi, Mom. How great was that American Idol little chubby gay guy from Oklahoma? Yeah, he was great. Oh my god. What did he sing? Oh, I'll bring it up little fat kid

Blotchy fat gay kid from Oklahoma American Idol. All right. I love you. Max wants to talk to you. All right. Go ahead real quick mom. go ahead real quick mom. Yeah. Yeah, what's up? What's up? We found a package on the prop line. Yep. It was the white. Okay, great. We'll put them in. We're going to put Yeah Yeah I Know what's up, buddy If I get a good report, yeah, I Could yeah, we're gonna put them on your bed and uncle Dante's gonna get you a special gift this year for the birthday party Your birthday party we're having he's gonna get you a what gift this year for the birthday party. Cur. Your birthday party will happen. He's gonna get you a, what are you getting them? Don't tell him, this is a surprise. Okay?

Joe, I love you. By I love you. What the fuck? He just hangs out here. He's like Lewis Gomez. Yeah. He just fucking hangs up on you. Doesn't say shit.

That's probably for the best of the pod though. I mean, it was a little slow. He really was dragging it down, wasn't he? Yeah, he's. All right, let's go for the best of the pod though. Yeah, put it in American Idol wig. You know wig means? Lace front wig? No, it's there it is right there. There it is right there. This fucking kid is...

It's Ralphie Gay. He is fucking definitely. But he's from Oklahoma. Look how scared he is, man. Could you imagine that you're so red that your face just blotches up and your mouth stays white? No. That happens to make you come to home.

But this is the diff, look at this. Is this, now you go in here, right? Same thing, it's just three, you know, whatever. It was one black eye, but it was, you know, it was always one black eye, but it was mostly white people, right? And they're judging them. Yeah. Again, same thing though. They know what they're getting into.

They know what they're getting into. Exactly. That's why they know that they could be the butt of the joke, you know? Or a boo. It's either a boo or a butt of the joke. So yeah, but you could be there and be talented. The, my thing is, or the Apollo, you could be talented and they will still boo you. I mean, Lauren, they did boo Lauren Hill. Well, she good though. Absolutely. She was Lauren Hill. Back. She was 12. Yes, she was, she's

amazing. She's been really good. She's not a 12. I bet she was. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. No. No. So she was amazing. As a good this No, she was good. She was good. Amazing. As a good, this guy. All right, let's watch her. This is for all the fat dudes out there. Go ahead. My name is Noah Davis. I'm from Royal Arkansas and I'm 18 years old.

Wow. 18. Wait, okay. Wait, did you just say, wait, yes. I know, wait, I feel that already. What is, wait, what is, wait. No, it's not your language. It's just for us, wait. No, it's wrong. I'm the biggest fat in the world. I have no idea what that already. What is wig? It's not your language, it's just for us.

Wig. No, it's wrong. I'm the biggest fag in the world. I have no idea what that means. Wig? I've always wanted to say that. I've never heard of it. I like this guy's hair.

I've never been a wig. I've known it. Oh, maybe it's a kitty peri thing. I go ahead. Come on. We're here together. I love you. I love you.

Kitty peri's voice sounds rough. No, she's, yes. Yes, sir. You're bl together. I love you. I love you. Get your hair in my arms. It sounds rough. No, she's, yeah. Yes, sir. You're blushing just a wee bit. You're blushing just a wee bit. That's really what I'm saying. I am ready for my wig to go flying.

I hope it does go flying out of this room. Is that it? That's it. What did he sound like? He got the wrong clip. He thinks I dreamed a dream. It's the wrong clip. There he is.

Just play every other thing. My name is cut to him singing. I have to go in two minutes. Buddy, we'll just go. We'll play this for you and you're gonna get your advice then you can leave. Okay. All right, we're there. We're gonna stop a little bit right there. Let's see him walk over the bridge. They brought in a piano for him. Yeah, and they want him to do well. Right. It's all set up. Oh, this is a produced show. It's real. Weg. Weg.

Oh my god. It's so gay. Oh, my god. It's so gay. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. It's so gay.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god. It's so gay. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, Brado. Good breath support. I said show me someday. Little ride. That's good. She said if you dare come a little closer. She's forcing tears out and around. We go. I need to have a short, just yell it. Tell me, tell me.

Tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know. Good boys. I really sure how to feel about it. It's something in your way. You move. That's that pick you can't it makes me feel like I can't He's like second like hate He's

Oh You can't look at the opposite the why I have to say I want you to see keep it why I'm just there Yeah Keep it alive. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay.

Stay. Stay. It's a John legend of that. Frank Sinatra does that? Yeah. Doesn't it sound not as good? What do you prefer? Stay.

Instead of stay. It's an ugly vowel, a whole. What do you prefer? STAY! And ZEV STAY! It's an ugly vowel, the whole Stix. STAY! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I got to go to my Instagram. I never yell at you when you have to leave. Also, I'll be at the seller in Vegas April 24th that weekend. That's from About that right now. The seller of Vegas April 24th, Mateo Lane. Who you with? You know, I think Lynn Combe. I think well, I don't know Maybe I don't know who I'm really with. There's my Instagram. It's Christ. God, I'm a thot. You should be a cop, a cop.

You're under arrest. You're under arrest. You're under arrest. You're under arrest. Stay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what we want you to do. All right, I gotta go, I love everyone here.

So you're all wonderful. Comedy Cell Las Vegas. Comedy Cell Las Vegas is open right now. what we want you to do. All right, I gotta go. I love everyone here. So they're all wonderful. Um, Comedy Cell Las Vegas. I feel comedy. Comedy Cell Las Vegas is open right now. Go to comedycell.com. Click on the link. It's, it's, uh, it's, I've seen it's got.

It's from the ground up. They rebuilt this thing. They built, there was a comedy club there. They ripped it down April 5th is the first week. And, uh, the lineups are coming in right now. It's going to be amazing. Joe, you're going to be playing there. Are you playing there yet? Nobody has mentioned it to me. I feel like they don't think I'm Vegas material or something. Look at that. Moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe, moe. Moe, there are a lot. Jesus Christ.

Greer Barnes is there. Emmy, Steve Bern is there. I mean, there's so many dates up there. So many, Julia McCullough, Emmy, a block Nick, a Greer Barnes. It is Comedy, Sullivan, Vegas at the Rio. Go to Comedy , Sullivan, dot, com, a ticket master, dot, com right now. Get your tickets. Fly out there. Go see a show. The comedy club is amazing. And the comics are amazing. What they do here in New York, they brought to Vegas and I can't wait to go out there. I hope I go out with you, Joe. You wanna do it together?

Let's go together. I think I might have my only way of getting in. Well, you're already gonna be in, of course. I can't wait. What are you getting over in? I don't even ask me. No one's brought it up. Everyone keeps saying, what are you going?

I go, I don't know. You'll be going soon. I hope so. Let's make that happen. Let's fucking make that happen. Let's go together, buddy. Hey, I right there. Joe lists them a shell wolf, Earth, Wind, and Funny. You's make that happen. Let's fucking make that happen. Let's go together, buddy. I right there, Joe lists the Michelle Wolf,

Earth, Wind, and Funny. You're on that show. Someone pointed out on Instagram that it looks like I'm wind, because like below Earth is Earth, and then below Funny is Michelle, and I'm just wind. And I think, I blame Liz for this. Why? I think that's great. Why would you not?

I don't want to be wind. Why? I want to be funny. By the way, Keith Robinson came up with the name, and then we didn't even ask him to be on the show. Are you kidding me? I just realized that now, in this moment, it was his, or maybe with Liz came up with it.

Liz did not come up with that. That's what you're seeing there. I know, but we were making fun of Keith because he loves Earth, Wind, and Fire. I think it might have been Liz said Earth, Wind, and Funny, maybe. That's Keith, fucking, that's his music. You ever take a road gig with Keith? That's all he plays is that horse shit that an eyeslee brothers Oh, I fucking want to hang myself two hours into any trip with you Robinson great music

I mean we just sit there with a coke and very white Barry white and just coming stupid thumbs on the steering wheel Thanks Well, I know Liza would don't like to say I was trying to pick it up Keep it going well too much much time. We had the which was I actually watched it last night the The OJ fucking confession Jesus Christ What what did he confess? He did a thing okay? Hypothetically come here's the thing he wrote a book and then he did an interview with this woman and he

He everything he says is hypothetical But he outsome self because in it. He's like I do remember that. Well, we did we know he did it So yeah, but he actually admits it in this but he under the under the Under being hypothetical, but he keeps falling in and out of it. So he will say like it's hypothetical act to help. I black out, but then it but hypothetical, then it was blood everywhere. What? Yeah, I'll talk about that. I do remember the blood. There was blood. All the glove. No, the glove, well, they found the glove. So I must have dropped it.

Like he says that is like, oh my god, he just admitted to glove. He admits to what's his name. Uh, Kato Kaelin. No. Did you get? You got Christopher Darden Kim Kardashian's dad. If he was bombing, why would you think you'd have the careers met and pull it off? I just thought I'd do that. We're kind of working together as a team on the bus. I hope you guys become an improv group. Yeah, I'd like to work as a team.

Well. Mm-hmm. Just showing in the red girl. What? What? Where's the bomb bandana by the way? It's a bomb danna. It's probably on your mic, I would think.

Where is it? It's not even here. It's not even in play. What is this? I don't know where it is, dude. I don't know that. Damn it. Can somebody get it? It's not even here. It's not even in play. I don't know where it is dude. I don't know that. Damn it. Can somebody get it? Places changing.

It's fucking three people besides me and the bomb dead dead is not out. Right here it is. Ready? Play that. This is fucking crazy. You know about that night because I know the facts better than anyone. If you have seen every single thing that's ever been done on O.J. Simpson, you have not seen the most important thing. And that's this. This is very difficult for me to do this. It's very difficult for me because it's hypothetical. I know and I accept the fact that people are going to feel whatever way they're going to feel. You realize that the

impact of that story on our culture is so enormous. She looks like he's going to hold it. Things got heated. I just remember the cold fell and hurt herself. The story's been told a million ways, which is what makes it even more amazing that what you hear from O.J. Simpson himself is to shocking. He was in a panic and I'm telling him to shut up.

I really felt that he just had zero self awareness, zero understanding of his role in anything. This is not it. Basically, he's trying to find the actual little piece. But he did it. We know that. But the thing that's amazing about this show is that he's under the hypothetical whatever the fuck it is. He's telling us what he did, how it went down.

He actually says that Ron Goldman took a karate stance like, and he was like, oh, you think you're gonna fuck me up? And he goes, you think you can beat me up? And he goes, I grab, that's when I got the knife from Chris, whoever the fuck Chris is, like he didn't even, he makes up this Chris guy. Why does he do this interview? I don't know.

You make a money off of this. And then this is old. This is old. Now this lady got fired. All these people got in trouble for having this because it was such an uproar that this could possibly happen. Well, why is it an uproar?

Why is this an uproar? Back then it was, but why is it a rough uproar? Why is this an uproar? Back then it was, because it's a rough uproar. Why is it an uproar? Why is it an uproar? Because how dare a black dude get away with this, killing a white girl? That's what it is.

Yeah, we still think that. Of course. No, of course, no, you're not kidding us. Absolutely true. Come on, dude, you don't think that it's a, I take away, listen, first of all, he got away with murder think that it's a I take away. Listen first of all He got away with murder and the fact that he got away with double murder take Kennedy all right listen He didn't get away with fucking double murder. No, well this listen

This plenty of white dudes has got away with with murder. Yeah, but this is nobody the thing is that he was a Like dude 10 Kennedy accidentally first., Ted got his murder and this murder are two different fuck it up. That's not murder, first of all. I'm not listening. I don't want to even, I don't even want to say, Ted came, I'm not trying to make the better example. I don't want to, let me take that back.

I don't want to make a correlation between Ted Kennedy, I don't want to do that. I'm gonna have murder people and stop. Okay, fine, fine, fine, stop, influence. Yeah, but Ted Kennedy didn't murder, he got no one accident the girl died. He didn't kill her. He just didn't fucking, he wasn't responding for you left.

I want to back track again and say, I'm not trying to make a correlation between you two. I'm just saying, that's why you call it back track. I don't know, you saw that, yeah, I don't know. It's not my back track. I'm tracking it, it's calling you, fucking no, no, you talking about it. I do know what I'm talking about.

That's not bad, he's a black dude. You try to be with it white guy black guy Shit, it's a black guy. He's a man. You're gonna. You don't think that this I'm the only people feel about this has to do with the fact that he's a black guy and he killed a white woman Because you're fucking out you guys are fucking listen you guys are fucking. I mean, Milados. Listen, dude, first of all, it's not about a black thing. It is. It's a black thing. You're right. How would you know that? How would you know that?

Are you gonna let me talk? Are you just gonna fucking, are you gonna fucking yap off of me? I'm nobody's, I been over you. You said it's not, and you said I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm gonna say this, this has nothing to do. this confession has nothing to do with whether he's black or white It's the fact that this guy got away with murder got away with it It's over. It's done and then this fucking

Looner tick comes back and fucking confesses to it on TV. I don't I don't Confess do it with now people back then said he didn't do it He's being set up by the cops. It's a black white thing if he was white this wouldn't happen He didn't do it and and the cops set him up now. He's on TV admitting. I fucking did it Hey, look now it's not a black thing. Let me let me ask you something. Why? Why did people why were people so polarized about this in the first place? Why?

Can I say one thing? Just what kind of one thought is that because there's very, first of all, he's so famous. So it was a huge case, obviously. And had all the things, sex and cheating and had a celebrity and an athlete. But the main thing is there's never been a case like this where it was so There was so much

What's on TV Who Emmett till a fuck is that exactly? I just put a bad record. I know who I'm till is. Who is it? What happened? Look it's, look it up. Look it up.

This isn't black and white, I'm gonna throw some at you. It is in black and white. Oh, fucking whatever. It is. Oh, so because it's black and white, it doesn't matter. No, I'm saying that, I'm saying that this case did not have anything to do with black or white. This fucking lunatic. The old J. K. The old J. K. Didn't have anything to do with black or white this fucking lunatic

the old jk's the old jk's didn't have anything to do with black and white you know no it did not because he you are your fucking mind you're crazy you're crazy your crazy why do you think that people with you think people gave a fuck about old j and that what they gave a fuck about what about you think they cared about old j specifically what do they care about they can't because Throughout history black people have been persecuted and shitted on and this was true It's true. I mean you show me facts about what about that statement about black people being shit up for history. And the fact was this was this was an opportunity for black people to say, okay, a black guy got away with it. Nobody cared about OJ specifically. They cared about the fact that somebody got away with murder. No, it's ridiculous.

No, really? Is it really? Is it really when you're when there's this is a when there's a race? When there's a man that's point of somebody gets away with it. You're bugging. You're bugging either side. Any side, any time a fucking lunatic,

any time a lunatic gets away with murdering somebody is ridiculous. What about when cops get away with murdering? Ridiculous. Ridiculous. How is it ridiculous? It's ridiculous. I'm saying that it shouldn't happen.

I'm saying it's okay, but it does happen. It happens. But it doesn't see. So what happens is if black people start getting away with all murders and murdering people and white people don't, then at some point down the road, we'll get to fucking just murder somebody and it's okay. No, that's never okay.

It is okay. No, it isn't. It has been mandated that's never okay. Never. It is okay. No, it isn't. It has been mandated that it's okay. Who? Okay, here's a little statistic for you. 97% of all people in prison, Michael, this up. 97% of, in federal prison have, have, have,

leave bargain down. That's not her, he's typing. Leave bargain down because they can't afford due process. And that's what happens to poor people. So rich people are allowed due process and poor people are not allowed due process. So the people that are in prison, when you look at prisons, you go,

these people are in prisons, that's the mass incarceration and the industrial prison system. Okay, guys. And on a state level, it's 94%. All right, you're being confusing. What's your point? My point is that there's a systematic sense of racism

Yeah, that exists in this country, right? And so when this the reason why this was people like 10 or a second Gabby You know how you fucking had his rings are getting so close to my face that I'm honestly just agreeing with him So I don't get a don't mess up Gabby's face without nothing Fuck you Don't mess up Gabby's face without a chance. Nothing. Fuck it. Fuck it. You have a system. You have a system. You have a system. You have a system.

You have a system. Oh, he's right. I'm not right. I am. I don't want that. I'm not right. And my lie. You're not saying it's okay to murder.

You're saying it shows the disparity between. Thank you. Well, here's an example, Bobby. Robert Wagner, supposedly might have killed Rett Natalie Wood. Yeah. He's a person of interest in his his process I'm not gonna talk to cops That's why that's like a black guy couldn't do that a black guy couldn't say I'm just not gonna talk to the You get hit by white cops, but you can you can but you can but you

Here's a fucking deal this fucking lunatic What are you doing? Do I do that? Yeah, I'm slamming around. You've been a lot of slamming around. Listen, I was a heated conversation. There's no way that this fucking, this lunatic, getting away with it could have walked away

in the fucking sunset, never hear from him again. We got a fucking sit here and hear this fucking crazy person admitting to fucking murdering people. You think that's okay? No, I don't think it's okay. So what what I'm saying is the reason why it polarizes people because there's a system, a racist, a racially systemic system in place where it's just a disadvantage. But that, okay, let's take that and say you're right. Let's just take the first one. And I'm going to say you're right. Let's just take the first one. And I'm gonna say you're right, okay? Take the first trial.

Okay, cool, got it. What first trial? When he was in this, he must have quit if it don't fit, right? Now, this fucking craziness, this craziness, okay. How do you feel about this? When you see a guy, He's a fucking piece of garbage. That's what I'm saying.

So why are you fighting with him? I'm not fighting with you that he's not a, what I'm saying that the reason why people, black people and white people went on opposite sides of this because there's a systemic system in place that where black people are not afforded the same rights. And because of that, this is why people came on different sides.

This is why people were polarized. But not on this one. I'm out. Listen, I think black people still watch this and go, no, black people don't even watch this. They all know he's a piece of garbage. Nobody gave a fuck about OJ. Nobody can't specifically about OJ,

even as a, as a, I can't. That black people didn't think he got set up. I'm saying black people. I'm have black people didn't think he got set up. I'm saying black people, when I'm saying black people didn't think that the cops set him up for this murder. I will answer the question if you let me ask people. I will, I will let you answer. Okay, good.

I'm saying to you, is that so often, so often, or often white cops set up black people and put them in jail for things that they don't have It is very possible that they could have set them up and the reason why black people think that it's not because they want to upset you What they want to aggravate you specifically? It's because it happens, okay? Nobody goes in the streets and marches and gets pepper sprayed and tie wrapped together to upset a white guy. Nobody wants to march or get pepper sprayed.

People are in the streets and they're bitching about this because they're on point. You go off them. They're you're going to waste time. It's not. People getting pepper sprayed and fucking tied up. I don't know where you're going. Stound point, what are you trying to say about the actual trial?

What I'm saying is real. What I'm not talking about the trial of what happened. What I'm saying is the reason why my father and my real father, do I just have lips, your mouth. Is he having nice mouth? He has a good mouth. Oh, I can have a nice mouth. The reason why people, black people,

fell on either side of it, was because there's a system in place. Fine. That's what I'm saying. But I'm talking about this now. Nobody gives a fuck about you. I think people, I think it's creepy to watch. I think it's crazy.

I think it's fucking- Absolutely. The fact that this lunatic admitted to murdering people, the fact that this dude got away with murder, in the racist system, and then went and stole his baseball cards back. But then went- Fuck enough. No, went into this, and then did that.

Yeah. Went and said, oh, I'm gonna write a book, and if I, if I murdered Nicole and Ron, this is how I would have done it. And I'm gonna do an interview on it. Absolutely. I'm gonna tell you how I, I'm gonna tell you how I killed them.

And then I'm gonna do the other shit. But he is, he is what, he is why. To me, that's a sick human being. Of course he is. He's a bad person. He's a sick black guy. I'm gonna sick white guy. It's a fucking sick hug.

Did you look up Emmett Till? Yes. Okay, and what was the story of Emmett Till? He, he, a white woman, fell offended by him and then some guys murdered him for a fin and a white lady. What happened? A white woman. Yes.

When was it, fucking 18? That's a mad dude. They dragged the two bodies. It does matter, we've evolved. Do you think we have not evolved? We've evolved. We have not evolved. A little bit have not even a little bit a little bit Just bump your on my point. Yes

You know me the only way I should have guys up for weight The only reason why I'm not locked up is because the prison's a lot of full. That's why it's not because what you do You keep this I And I run like a scared white woman. I'm gonna have a bunch of that mega call. And I would run like a scared white woman. I'm gonna have a bunch of Irish fucking cost down here. I did a PBA benefit last year, we're going to go. And you know what, you're gonna make sure that they're Irish

because they would be racist enough to lock me up from nothing. You don't think that it's Shane, we've changed a little bit. Yes, it is better now than it takes it a bit. You know, it takes it a bit. Absolutely. But it's still shitty. But you don't think it's getting better, better, better. It's getting better.

No, it's not better, it's not better. It's not better, it's not better, better, better. It is better, it's the best that it's ever been. But it's still, you're still killing black people in the street. You still have 80% of this. Who is? Don't say you. You're arrest.

Are you racist? No. All right. They couldn't look at that face. He can be raised He looks so calm he believes in elves you cannot be Is it you cannot be in America and not be racist? You can't be what are you talking about you cannot be in America and not be racist? That's ridiculous. Why not why are you racist? Yeah? Are you racist? No, no, I'm Jewish. Are you what does that mean? Are you racist? No, I mean, are you racist? No, no, I'm Jewish.

What does that mean? Are you racist? No. Are you scared of black people? No. Do you like Puerto Ricans? I love Puerto Ricans. Would you sleep with a Mexican?

Yeah. That was a pause. Yeah, I say the opposite to all of those answers. You are a Mexican. Yeah, no, I would not sleep with one. I think you're redeemed from the time. One was this. One was this.

It happened in 1955. His killers were acquitted because November 5th, 1950. There's like, let's let's let 1955 in itself. Is that really that long? Can I say something? 1955 in the South. There is a fucking million years between what the South was then. No, it's not. No, it was then. No, it's not.

No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. You can still do this. Look up. Really? Listen, I'm going to say maybe I'm naive.

Look, tell me how, show me where this is right now. I'll give you, I'll give you a, please. I want to know this, yes. 2015 is the first time, is a year ago. Yeah, right. 2015. Yes, go ahead. Yep, is the first time is a year ago. Right. You 20, 2015. Yes, go ahead.

Is the first time they they ratified the 13th Amendment. Okay. The 13th Amendment is the emancipation parking space free and of slaves. Yeah. So when they passed the free and of slaves in in 1862, yeah, right? Yeah.

A certain amount of states had to ratify the amendment. Check these facts. Once that once the once those once it was ratified by a certain amount of states had to ratify the amendment check these facts once that once the once those Once it was ratified by a certain amount of states. It moved forward into federal law as a part of the Constitution looked at up, but Mississippi didn't ratify the free enough slaves until 2015 you can still have a slave in Mississippi stop it 2015

Was absolutely one of the most racist presidents and I get Lincoln Lincoln he was gay, too Yeah, they said they say they might be a room that he said a man 2013 what also he had a disorder that's Headless 2013 or I'm sorry two years off 2013. Yeah, they ratified the but it's ratified So what do you think? 2013? That was half a decade ago I'm surprised I know but you understand how insane that is dang I think it's famous back then. Yeah, but I'm thin

It's always on me Me I'm falling filing a lawsuit What you do you move in the camera? Again, did I move it? I do it. It's the table to shake it Well, you don't think that that's it that is is crazy that I think you're making it up That's a that's a black computer

That's the black internet ABC news. He's a black internet. Yeah, what do you think the beast is for? All black. How insane is that? How insane is that? How insane is it that the 13th Amendment had been ratified since 2013. And you're talking about it's better. It's not. Okay.

It is better now. No, I should say it's better, but it's still pretty shitty. We're getting better. We're getting better. Not really. Look, you can, first of all, you can yell at a white man like this in public and nobody's saying. We always yelled that she just did it on the plantations. And he had to be big enough.

Are you full black? Yeah, I'm kidding. I don't like. I'm actually part Irish. I'm a lot of black people have Irish in them. Because my grandmother fucked a mick. No, I just got raped by a mick. But she got raped.

Uh, sweet. You know how you guys do. Um, you can't give him one beat after he says his mother got raped. No, no, not even a second. Did he say it? Give it a beat. Did he say it? Yes, and you went to the rate.

I got raped. I got raped. Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I didn't know his grandmother. You're not the way. She wasn't a nice lady. But she grew up in an orphanage in Boston. Right. I got raped. Oh shit. I'm sorry. I didn't know his grandmother you're on the way But she was you grew up in an orphanage in Boston right she was you know have a rape by my fucking great Tommy Donlin fucking rap as if he could have got a

My grandmother's rape that I gotta worry about you fucking city grandpa. Maybe if she's there, generation. Yeah, maybe she was so hard to get. She wouldn't have been raped. Maybe she was a little stuck up. But she grew up in a different place. She really got raped? Yeah, she was raped and then she had a, that's where my, um, Jesus man, that's just terrible.

That's where, kept the baby. Well, my great-grandmother, right. So she, no, she didn't keep it. She went into an orphanage. She went to an orphanage. She was that young. Yeah. How young was she? Well, right, so she didn't keep it. She went into an orphanage. She went into an orphanage. She was that young. Yeah. How young was she?

Well, no, her grandmother's grandmother. My great-grandmother got raped. The great-grandmother. So it's not your grandmother. No, my great-grandmother got raped. And my grandmother grew up in an orphanage embossed. So you grew up in an orphanage embossed. So you grew up in an orphanage embossed.

So you grew up in an orphanage embossed. So you grew up in an orphanage embossed. So you grew up in an orphanage embossed. So you grew up in an orphanage embossed. So you grew up in an orphanage embossed. So you grew up in an orphanage embossed. So you grew up in an orphanage embossed. So you grew up in an orphanage embossed. So you grew up in an orphanage embossed. Was your grandmother the rape baby from the rape? Yes. Wow. Yes. And then she grew up in an orphanage in Boston. My God. But she's, she looked.

What a power. What a thing to say that like how strong people are to have something like that. Well, why people? But I mean, come on, we get raped too. Jesus Christ. I'm not by the slave owners. What do you get a fucking stat on rape too?

Yeah, I do. I actually do have a stat on rape. No, no, what do you want to talk about? How are you going to fucking, I rape to yeah, dude? I have to do what is the stat on right? No, what do you want to talk about how you gonna fucking I'm trying to I Know why you can't connect I'm trying to connect all right. I'm trying to compliment Good, good. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You gotta make it fucking rob me up in name fucking want me to you row yourself up No, I'm already well. Look at her. at her math plaque buddy. I look the math Plane from the waist down these lips great lips Nice day. Great. Please do that

diabetes Malaria you are malaria I got sickle cells all over I talk in movies every fucking time I see one Listen, dude. I think that is, I mean, the fact that your great grandmother had that happen, went to an orphanage, had the baby, your grandmother, your mother, now you, I mean, that's pretty epic. Gabby's going to jerk off.

I mean, the pants she's wearing is just ridiculous. I didn't see him. I didn't see him. Don't look, don't look. No, look. Don't look, no, because I don't want to hashtag me to his fucking show. Were you shouldn't have pointed at that?

Well, because I saw them and I just, it's like, you got to stop wearing that stuff on the show. You got to wear like a hoodie. No, the pants and just a little bit of time. We all wear it. We all wear it. We all wear it. We all wear it.

We all wear it. We all wear it. We all wear it. We all wear it. We all wear it. We all wear it. We all rather have the big jumpsuits now. Okay. Then the tight, I just want to wear the tight pants. Yeah, I want to, you have no choice. That's all. I want to say something. And I don't, I don't, I don't, sorry. Yeah, no, sorry.

But here, isn't what I was saying. It's almost like you can't, I can't really expect you to understand. Oh, here we go. I know, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me finish, because I'm trying to connect. Come on. Okay. Finally, go on.

I can't expect you to understand a plate that you don't experience. If you don't experience it, then how can you possibly and I'll tell you something about it? I respect the, I respect the plate of anybody. I don't, I don the plight of anybody. I don't like that. I don't like the fact that women had to go through

all the shit they went through. I don't like the black people had to go through. I was like, I hate the fact that we somehow made people subhuman and treated them accordingly, makes me sick to my stomach. I mean, it's just disgusting. And it happened for years and years and years, but what the great part about it is,

is that I think as humans, the fact that we're evolving out of this hotrocious behavior. But we're not. We are. We're not, here's why we're not. We're not happening today. No, but here's why we're. It's happening over generations of children.

Here's my child will not think it's okay to treat women shitty or racism, minority shitties. It happens, like I said before, stop trying to un-bake a cake. Just take these new kids, these children that were coming up with your kid, my kid, all the kids are gonna fucking, they're the people that are gonna change.

I have a little, yeah, chillin' while I'm in the future. She's a well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a set of pride. To pride It easier Let the children's laughter Remind us all we use to be Along the goal I failed if I succeed I don't believe My fail if I succeed I would like to say something I like to say some. Oh, can you bring up

Django a chain Lee out waters Lee out waters Strategy oh god more books You just don't like to be smart. I'm smart very smart. I'm very smart. You can't everybody. I believe everybody's smart I'm smart. Not like everyone says I want to read some I'm just smarter than you and other things I'm smart now. Absolutely. I'm smart. Yeah, I am what you not Listen, this is doesn't to say you're smarter than somebody's dumb to say. It's a dumb thing to say Yeah, but we're just going each other and it is a podcast. That's the whole point.

We're supposed to argue. Yeah, I'm gonna talk about black people. So it's very touching. My podcast, we never argue. It's called two days of stories. I want to read something to you. I want to read something to you. I want to read something to you.

I want to read something to you. I want to read something to you. I want to read something to you. I'll play some to you. Bring the video. Yeah, let's you talk about podcasts entertaining. Go ahead, reading. No, no, no, this is funny.

This is not funny. Yeah, hey guys. So this is a quote. Hang on one second. Hit the 15 second fast forward button right now. This is not funny. Yeah. Hey guys. So this is this is a quote. Hang on one second. Hit the hit the 15 second fast forward button right now. It's did not gonna do it because this is fucking listen. This is something that Lincoln said. Right. Okay. Get that black bagged in here. I want to talk to that dude's cock. No, it was, uh, it goes, uh, I am or not, I am not been in favor of bringing about in any way

to social and political equality of white and black races that I am not ever have not been in favor of making voters jurors of Negroes nor the qualifying them to whole office and into Mary or white people. I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between white and black races, which I believe will forever forbid the two races for living together. They will remain it. But if they do remain together, the position of superior and inferior and as much as any other man I am in favor of having the superior position. That's the emancipated proclamator

That's the dude that supposedly was supposed to free the slaves that you can't just you can't listen You can't go look at you can't go from Slavery just I mean the crazy shit ever to, hey, guys, let's not do this anymore because it's bad. Now, what they did, I agree with that. I agree with that. And listen, even it's still not there. It's still that we had a black president.

That means it's still, that means nothing. It does mean something, but it doesn't, it's, it's, it's, it's still not there. You had a female, you had a female prime minister in Pakistan, but you still have honor killings just because one person slides through the crowd saying, I didn't say that fucking because we had a black president that it's all better now. I'm saying that's progress from slavery. Dude, they were more congressman. Fuck off.

Black. It's a problem. You can't acknowledge. You got to acknowledge the good. No, don't. What you got to acknowledge is what the truth is. Oh, fuck you. And once you acknowledge what the fuck me because of the truth, if you don't acknowledge the truth,

then you can't move forward. I acknowledge the truth. I acknowledge that it's true. I acknowledge that it's true. What is the truth? And it's truth. Not truth. You would not have known that fucking link.

Link was a racist. Yeah. You would not have known that link not have, you would not have known that fucking Lincoln was a racist. Yeah. You would not have known that Lincoln was a racist unless I, unless you read that. I did. I did. No. Pleasily I wore the shit. Hang on one second.

Don't ever exactly. You see that? That's my slave. My white Mexican slave. And he listens to me. White Mexican. Listen. Oh, fucking.

Oh, fucking. I will fight you. I will put you. He'll be out in the field I just patch for the last patch You mean I'll cut oh patch. All right, listen. Here's the deal. Yeah, look at me. Yeah, look at me Yeah, here's it's problem with you. Yeah, I don't have a problem. You do have a problem If you have a problem, you know, I'll solve it check out the book where my DJ revolves it ice ice baby We're really have a synergy going every time Gabby says something she reaches for a water. It's like a it's like a tell When you had the line that hit you reach for the water the bomb when you went for the coffee

Problem is when you had to line that hit you reach for the water the bomb when you went for the coffee Like a poker game tell me my problem your problem is is that you you have your point of view and your dick is too big That's a problem. No, listen your problem is that you you're not you're you're just writing no matter what that's not true It's true. I would never I would never say that about you and You already told me what you said to me was this. You said did this turn again? Why is that you're a kid? Turn again. I'm not doing it.

I'm not doing it. I didn't ask you to do it. I'm not doing it. What's happening? Why is this happening? It's the guts. Fucking Lincoln's ghost, bro. You assume that I didn't, you're saying,

you're literally saying shit. You're saying you don't know shit about Lincoln. You didn't know Lincoln was a racist. First of all, I knew Lincoln was not a racist. I knew they assumed he's gay. I've actually learned a lot about Lincoln. So you're just assuming that I don't know shit about Lincoln. That's not what I'm saying, Bob.

You know, I'm knowing you longer than that. That's not what I'm saying. We're arguing and that's not what we're saying. That was longer than that. You have not known me longer than that. Then what? That Lincoln? Yes, that's the way.

You know, Lincoln and I had the exact same built. True story. It was $365. Yeah, same thin head too. Can you hear me? I want to know what you're saying. Yeah, you had. Go ahead.

What? Stop once again. You had a huge head. I know you said it before. We heard you with the huge head head you just said he had a thin head. He has a thin head He has a thin huge head Lincoln's head was thin and huge. It was it's a fact Don't cut me. It's a good $5 bill. Okay, never seen one Yeah, cuz you're rich shut up 1981 this is 1981 what is it?. What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? This was a mix of audio. This was nixen. Yes.

Here's how I was approached that year. As a status turn it down, please. Oh, no, it's a psychologist, which I'm not. Is is how abstract. You handle the waste. Oh, would you start out? All right, stop. Stop. First of all, I'm not going to listen to that accent. Tell me about race. Listen, I'm not having some hay-haired blue-eyed devil with the accent, this limitation about the black people now. Yeah, no, but that's not what's in the point of it.

That wasn't the point of it. No, I'm not listening. This guy's a fucking idiot. He's not an idiot. Fuck him. Because he actually set the tone for what you call dog whistle politics, which is what's going on with Trump right now. Oh, you love saying that, don't you? Didn't you love just knowing dog whistle politics?

I'll break your pinky fingers. Say dog whistle is a dog whistle. It's got a dog whistle. Dog whistle politics. If you, if you, I know what it means. What does it mean, Joe? Well, it means you say things in a way that you're a constituent. Your people are hearing like dog whistle.

But it's not. But it's not. But you're only some people. So you're saying like, we're going to take care of, we're going to be tough on crime. Yeah, tough on crime. We're going to lock up black people. We're going to lock up black people. People with you dog.

Yeah, stop doing crime. Yeah, and Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan, dealt crack, Ronald Reagan, Ronald Reagan was the biggest drug dealer ever. And his wife was like, hey, no on drugs. Yeah, but she's only got one tit, so last laugh. Like that, Nance. Just say no, Nance. I just don't know the other tit.

You don't think, I don't think, without your phone without the internet, without my Mexican gonga didn't what I the wife slave to my whatever the They built this city We built this city where we got home. And God, I hate musicals. Um, I just don't think that if you don't think that this country and as a, as a, as human beings, we're getting better with each other with, with, with the fucking systematic

horseshit that was embedded in us and, and just bread, just, this is what you are. I'm not kidding man. I'm not kidding man. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding man. I'm not kidding man. I'm not saying that. I think that we are getting better. I think myself, my family, I can speak for me and when I'm putting into this world, okay, and my friends that I think it is better than it was. Most of my friends are. I agree with you.

But what I want to say is this this the only reason why it's better and Will be better with your kid and your family and so on is because you make an effort and you have to make an effort Because the system is set up for you to perceive things. I also have big black eyes Are you buying my kid really good gifts for his birthday? I love you kids But the white guys don't really buy shit. You got it. It's a joke. All right, I didn't get it.

You got it. You have to make an effort. You have to make an effort to not be racist. It just can't be, I'm not racist. You have to make an effort to do so. Yes, I agree. And if you don't make an effort, you're going to be racist. Is it bother you when comics are racist? What do you mean? Does it bother you when you hear

comics, podcasts, a blah, blah, blah, being racist? Is it bother you? Is it bother you? Is it bother you when you hear comics, podcasts, a blah, blah, blah, being racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when you hear comics, podcasts, a blah, blah, blah, being racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when you hear comics are racist? Is it bother you when you hear comics are? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you when comics are racist? Is it bother you? No, because Gino's gonna fuck him more on. I mean, I love Gino, but he's a moron. And you don't, if you don't know, if you don't understand the history of it, then you can't, then like, so I think, like my dad was born 1920.

He was eraped? No, he wasn't. Okay, good. That was tough too. I'm positive. He was born 1920 and his generation fought to be to fight. Right. Yeah. In World War II. Yeah. World War II. Tuskegee Airman. No, that was World War I. Right. But they, I know. But he said facts. But he fought. They fought. Their generation was like, we want

a fight to show our patriotism so that we can get. Tuskegee Airman was World War I. Was it? No, that was two. Tess G. Yeah, man. Was it World War One? Was it? No, that was two. No, one. That was two. You might be right. Ganga. You might be right.

You might be right. But the, in fact, that you know that is pretty awesome. Let me just say that, right? That's just Tess G. Tess G. Yeah, man. We're guys. We're one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one,

two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, one, two, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, would, how they would, they use black airmen, I buy pirates pilots as a guinea pigs basically. But, but they're amazing pilots. They, they fucking, they took down a lot of them.

Why did they do that? To spy now what syphilis would do to people? They were black. Why the pilots? They were black. They were black. They're the military. But you see, you see her face like what is-

White angel, look at me. White angel. White privilege. But no, but when you see her face when I said that, she's like, why would anybody do that? This because that is the system. You want to raise them. If you question why the pilots,

I mean like why the pilots they're doing- Because they were in all black military outfit and they were, they can put them all in one place. They're in place It was guinea pigs. Yeah, what do you mean? Yeah? It's fucked up no shit This is this is what's wrong with this fucking generation. Why no? Old Bobby that's a really old thing It's a really old thing. And the music sucks, too, but I say it really. But I mean, the fact that her face when you said that

is wider than white. But no, but it was like, why? It's just was like, why would that ever? She's not really pretty if you know her dad. She looks just like a father. If you know her dad, you're like, you signed my card. This is what he signed my birthday card.

Take a look at what the card is, by the way. I love your parents, Bobby. I do, I love that. That's all he said. her parents are great. Do you read the front of the card? Yeah, it's a Jewish Passover card. They didn't have any other happy past and his is in Spanish because they had only city grandma happy birthday cards This is a great show. We should pass over this segment though. I want to say is I love Bobby I want to say something to you that yeah most people it's gonna you're gonna find shocking. What's that? I think you're I think you're very smart. Thank you, brother. You're a lot smarter than you look I know that you look like you'd be dumb as a fucking Gornale

You used to think I was dumb. No, I never thought you dumb ever. No, never you didn't think I used to call me dumb all the time I say that to everybody. All right, I know fucking I just don't this what I don't like me dumb all the time say that to every I just don't this what I don't like about what time you said to me come on. You're you're not smart like you said it like yes You did it on the show. No, it was really buddy. You're out of your mind. I know you smart I know you're your your survivor your your your smart guy. I know I'm a guy. I'm a survivor. I'm the lyrical taxi driver I know I know I'm holding a guy. I'm a survivor. I'm the lierical taxi driver. Brupapa. Listen, I, what I, what I don't like though is that, you know,

people who say, I mean, seriously, I don't think anybody's dumb. I hate people who go, you're stupid, I'm smarter than you. It is dumb people. If you say you're smarter than anybody, you're not smart. That's the dumbest thing you could, any smart guy could say it. I could say that if you met my older sister, she's done with a rock. I just think that, look at everybody not smart. That's the dumbest thing you could, any smart guy could say it. I could say that if you met my oldest sister, she's done with a rock. I just think that, look at everybody's smart.

And she said she's a teacher, but everybody's smart. It's something. It's a little easy. It may not be your, it may be not what you think, what's valid smart to you. I would say it. I used to have a joke in my act. I know secret codes to video games, so go fuck you.

I could, you know what I mean? There's certain guys that can solve a math problem or a millionaires are on their company, but they can't play Tekken. Here's what I was saying. I'll fuck them up. Everybody's not wise. And I think wisdom is your ability to take your smarts and put it into a practical application. I think every, and a lot of people don't have common sense. Sure, that's it. I, you know why I'm smart? I have the ability to learn. And I, I will take something and figure it out. And if I don't know it, I will learn about it.

And I'm gonna actually go back. I know you want, that's why. You've inspired me to go back and, and, and, and find out about, about Lincoln and find out about Lincoln, and find out about the, emancipation prognospacifers, emancipation proclamation, they can't say a philanthropist either. But I thought of course, yes.

I have all, come on, just for now. I know, I should know. I'm not bad, I don't know, I was thinking. I'm gonna send you an audio book. I'm not that dumb, I can't. Call the podcast, don't know why I was thinking I'm gonna send you an audio book Not that dumb I called a podcast don't they? No, it's an audio book. It's called it's called white rage deals with the it deals with the all the way from slavery all the way to the present And it's a great book that chronicles exactly what happened. Yeah, and it's like It's really,

like when you, when you, when you really study the stuff, you realize that everything that, everything that people are talking about with Trump and with this stuff, has happened five times before and on history. Why, I mean, I'm a strong believer that you worry about your world, not the world.

And if you do, the world will come be a better place. Yeah, but I will probably act locally. I would. That was a pretty good joke. Thank you. But here's the thing, I think that you're the weird guy in the coach loves Joe. I believe that you are a guy who will learn things.

And so just giving you a little debate, there's no way that this is not gonna be in your head. Look and you won't go, let me look into this shit. I will look into it, but here's the thing too, is that I believe that as a human, as humans, as white people, as black people, as human beings, we're getting better. And I will not not pat ourselves on the back. I will not not say we're getting better. And I will not not pat

ourselves on the back. I will not not say we haven't progressed. I will we've progressed more in fucking the last 10 years than we did in the last fucking 200. We're really true. We have absolutely true. We've had we've we've progressed a lot. gay marriage law of the land. Dude, it's you got it. You can't just. Bobby, Bobby, there was a period of time. There was a period of time in history just and I'm not talking.

I don't want to go. Can I just say something? But I'm not talking about black people. I'm talking about iPhones. We've progressed in phones so much in the last fucking 10 years. I mean, from the iPhone one, are you crazy? It was a 1G. Did you remember it was a 1D?

It was a 1D? It was a 1D. We've done so much. I probably the only person that has white people. Well, you got an adjoin me on tech. I little bit. The little bit. You got an adjoin me on black people.

I still have that. And the ghetto Reconstruction there was more the reconstruction after after the emancipation proclamation was more progressive now I said fast emancipation It's easier to say you're slow down. Yeah, emancipation proclamation slow down emancipation make it slow down. Emancipation. Say, if there were more black people in Congress during reconstruction period than ever, than ever in history, right. And more black people in government. But now, no, no, doing reconstruction reconstruction was was after after the damn animation proclamation. Oh you guys got lazy. No, we didn't get Why I'm here's the deal what I'm saying to you now we you we are getting better. We are the human race is getting better

We are and he is what I was only is what I would say the other thing is the other thing is the real Oki-Dok is is that working white people are constantly considered themselves like white people. But that's not the white people that I'm talking about. When I'm talking about the white people that set policy corporations who don't give a fuck about working white people. But anyway, but do they give a fee? I don't give a fuck about anybody. No, they give a fuck about themselves and then making money money and then and the okey Doke is to say that all racism doesn't exist but to create systems and policies you

You're talking about you create create your okey doke create systems and policies that make they go It's all better when we're when we're really getting fucked by rich people. Let's do date. Let's do dates I know I Want to I want to have you back on I'm gonna have a whole black panel Not on today cuz it's just me. Oh shit See that's why they get along Do you want that conversation? I actually do want that with you and Wilson Vince talking about that subject actually Who's gonna translate for will I don't know?

Spogodys Have him say I'm at the place to block. I check it out. I got dates. I'm gonna do mine real Course tonight fat black pussy cat Joe's on it then we go downstairs into his show sun wind and fire Wind and funny bro. We're gonna funny bro And then I'm a comedy on state this weekend best club in the fucking world One of the best clubs so good Diplomacy Bobby I like that one of the best and I'm at fat black again. I'm at Shakespeare I got a big tour

Three nights in and Michigan Kalamazoo Shakespeare I'm in Michigan that weekend do Tiger room Fort Wayne dog Planet Ant can I just plug my fucking dates? I know, but I'm saying, can I have a fucking minute to plug my dates? Let's hang. I don't want to hang with you that week. It's all about me and Michigan. Planet ant.

That's my birthday too. It's my birthday week. We're in the same state. I don't want to hang. I don't want to be with you that week. I want to be with my mother week. I want to be with myself What do you Joe? I'm sorry No, plan an answer. Where are you gonna be that week? Doesn't matter

I'm in Ann Arbor the other best club in the country which one comedy show and our comedy showcase. Oh, I didn't know about that one Yeah, I will I snatched that true cuz I've told you about it six times go back to my dates Would you please we're gonna go to Joe's after he really just fucking listens to everybody on scroll down He really just fucking with the wind you go What's the other date? Cubs, oh my cobs I might be filming a movie Yeah, you're a movie. What movie? What movie? You bought? Shut up, everybody.

Comedy. Comedy. I got Cubs Comedy Club. What a, that's a gravity done that one, Joe. No, never done it, never worked, San Fran. You never did. Stop it, dude. You kill San Fran. Joking, that's a joke. Oh, sorry.

I love San Francisco. I'm dying of work. I told my agent I said, you got me into that fucking market, dude. Banana's, I got some really, I got my favorite clubs in the world coming up. Banana's just come up, then June 1st, Westbury, me and Voss are gonna be killing it. So, and then Macurti's, Jesus, I gotta, I just put comics. Bobby, you selling out now? I'm selling out, yeah.

I'm making some bonuses. I'm happy for you, bro. Yeah, it's getting better. It's these fucking people from the podcast showing up. I know, I know. And, you know, better. It's deserve it. It's these fucking people from the podcast show. I know. I know. And, you know, the ONA fans and stuff like that showing up. So I really, you always kind of, that was a stickler for you.

That, and I'm happy. Well, I stopped saying yes to clubs I didn't want to work. And I don't go unless the deal is right. And the clubs that I go care, like this comedy on Carlson, they don't give away free tickets. So when we sold out on Saturday and on Friday, it was, it's, they're making money. It's really sold out.

It's, they don't just give away the fucking room to a bunch of people that don't know you. They build your fan base, you know? And that's why I love clubs that care about comedy, not about fucking selling chicken wings, but whatever. Robert Kelly.com. Fertigus. Joe list.

Yes. Most importantly, this comes out on Monday. Yes. Tomorrow Sunday Sunday. Yeah. Yeah. Sunday. All right.

Yeah. Tomorrow. Patreon members get it tomorrow. Yeah, Sunday night. All right. Yeah, remember tomorrow, Patreon members get it tomorrow. So that's great. Six people get it tomorrow. Tuesday, March 20th. However many days away it is season two of the standups is on Netflix. You can catch me on that 30 minutes. Bobby's been pooping at all day. No, it's the new hour. I said you dismissed you poop. Poo poo. Can't take it back.

30 minutes is the new hour. I said and Friday. I. You can't take it back. 30 minutes is the new hour I said. And Friday I'll be on the tonight show with Jimmy Fallon. I mean, let's go poo poo on that. Even though you were on it, fucking three weeks ago. They let a lot of people on now. They open the gates. But anyway, seems like they open the gates. Yeah, the big swinging gates to fit you through.

Just the, just the, just the silver's on the week after you. The tonight show. Yeah, just the silver's doing the tonight show. The week after you. Terrific. He's helping the week after you the tonight show. Yeah, justice. Silver's doing the tonight shoot the week after you terrific. He's helping me working out getting in shape. Anyways, and our comedy show case. Bobby's also name up dead. Bobby's also in Michigan.

You're going to have to choose if you want to go to a great club and see a young upstart up and come on. If you want to see a guy do if you guys want to see an hour of killer material comes to me, you want to see a half do, if you guys want to see an hour of killer material, come see me. You want to see a half hour go see Joe. You can see it on Netflix. Then you can see a separate material on my stage headlining. I have an hour on Netflix.

You want to check that out? Yeah. You're going to go to the search bar. I can't believe it. That's going to only look to fucking hot. That was hot. That was hot hour. I called you after that. Yeah, you just like I got to pee. Mother fuck her. How why you hurt?

Finish his days. Why do you have to hurt? Why you hurt? He says small. April 26 through 27th. He is in Tacoma comedy club. This bitch doesn't do shit for mine. And then for Joe. He's at side splitters and Tampa for that. This is fucking. I call it bitch. I'm called bitch. You're a big fifth. He's at side splitters in Tampa before that. Maybe she is a bitch. She's fucking. I call a bitch. I'm a cause bitch. You're a bitch. You're the bitch.

You're the bitch. We're both bitches. No, you're the bitch. I'm a bitch. I am not the bitch. No, I'm not. We're both bitches. No, I'm a cut.

I'm a twine. I'm a twine. I don't have my dates. I'm like this. I don't put my dates up. I'm a fucking bitch. I'm a cheater. She read one of my dates. That's because you always get I want to I want to

I plug my my my My podcast your vest my part your a vest company. I was a fucking movie. I know I was on the movie Oh, that's when you came down stairs you fought the two. Let's do this. That's why I got this bracelet. I know that's Do this just go check out my podcast. Uh, I know just do this. Just go check out my podcast, Base Phillips show. It's on a network. Yeah, and it's one of my favorite podcasts.

Relationship stuff, and I do consultation. I mean like, I mean like 30 grand in consultation. Buddy, because you teach guys to do what? Just to be credible and get their what back. Get their balls back from incredible. Well, it's kind of changed a little bit because of the atmosphere maybe no, no, I don't, I don't, I don't tone it down, but the I think I evolved, I've evolved. So people do change.

Of course. So you, those holes on holes anymore. No, they still holes. A lot of bitches. We love those, we love those three levels think of being bitchy too Why don't you tell a little sweet gabs what about the hose and the bitches? No getting your balls back from a hole in my head is they snagged you fucking weird world win white-wukin fucking witch come on

Fucking witch come on But it just it's he just guys how to be credible like a lot of dudes don't have like a god I haven't didn't have a father kind of guided father. I know, but you did okay Yeah, but you got to learn how to keep your word and be credible and be credible You are have common sense. Yeah, well have it's a little bit. Have an internal navigation. And then know what your personal value is. You have to, first of all, you have to have values. You have to know when the fucking hold the door for somebody. Say, you know what?

Thank you, and you're welcome. Not to say you're welcome when you do something nice for you. Little things like that, common sense, listening. It's also, I think, a lot of times, people don't understand what their value is because they're not work like so you know since you've been doing this podcast I've watched you kind of transform and work on your so you're working to be the best version of yourself which is not that good.

Yes, but the party fucking dude. Yeah, free, free, I'm dude. And because you're being better, you have much more confidence, because you know that you're working on yourself every day. Well, I've taken my show down the road that I wanted to take it down, even though some people said, you gotta do this, you gotta do that.

This is what they want. And I probably could have maybe had a little more success, blah, blah, blah, blah, but it's not what I wanted to do. And I'd rather do this than be phony, than to do something that I'd have to later in life go, I regret that. That's really mature.

Like I don't remember you being that way early on in the podcast. I would rather have less listeners and that I'm real better listeners than be Yeah. Yeah. Then be a phony. Yeah. And try to do shit. Because you're not a phony dude and you're not gonna. Yeah, I'm not gonna.

How long are you going to put up with that before you lose your shit? Because I've died. I did a lot of phony shit. Yeah. But I've got every grant. But you but you genuinely like because of it. I don't have a genuine reflect. I'm genuine because of it.

I'm saying you became genuine. I never genuine. We were on the same reflect. I'm genuine because of it. I'm saying you became genuine. I never genuine. We were on the same page. Well, a genuine reflect is not the word. It was a compliment. Okay, thanks. All right. Joe fixed his hair, thank God.

I didn't even fix my hair. Oh, sorry, it looks better. Oh. All right, well, what do you got, Mikey? Are you hosting tonight? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's be true. Okay. Well, you're gonna get the balls.

I'll do it, 10. Do you do stand up? Yeah. Why don't you do it on the show? I got it right here. Okay. Well, you get to get the balls. I'll do it, Ten. Do you do stand up? Yes. Why don't you do it on the show? I got it right here. Pull it up. I just haven't. Pull up or stand up?

Is it online? No, what? Yeah, let's watch some stand up. Play the up. Play the up. The greatest moment in the history of the podcast was when we watched Deepo's video. So I have no stand up online.

Always on online. Go ahead. No, there is oh, I found something good. Look at it There's no stand-up online just do it just I bet it's on there someone's put it on oh, it's on there's sketch comedy And no video sir. Whoa bathing suit. My god. Is that our baby? I don't know right there There's Gabby's first there's your first routine. That's not me. Yeah, it is I was not her and Gabby's first routine. Did you first routine? That's not me. Yeah, it is. That's not her. I was not her. Gabby's spring break. I kinda.

Is there anything we can see you kind of like I've got it on my phone. I got it on my phone. Yeah, it's on my phone. No, I sent that tape to you. Yeah, but I have the thing. Do a bit right here. Let's do a bit.

Gabby, tell us a few. How would you never do that to you? Do a five-nighter. If I could do that to you. And I saw her act and she's got potential She's very funny. She had some good funny jokes. She's got a lot of charisma stage presence There you go, so you're You would have been fine if we played it. They'd be fine with it. Okay Mike on the other hand My coats are terrible.

I wouldn't play my clip on this fucking show. Yeah. What? Remember when, do you remember that moment when Kelly Fusigui trying to get her to play? And then, I was like, I'll let you, I tried to fucking be a man and be like, I will let them, I can play my bit before.

And then it started and she played fucking cricket. She pressed the cricket button. Yeah. And I it started and she played fucking cricket. She pressed the cricket button. Yeah. And I'm like, well, now it's fucking. It's on and rock. Now it's on. And then we just, can we listen to Kelly for stucas?

There's Kelly for stucas. There's Kelly for stucas. Before we go, can we just go out on that? What about 20 minutes over? Yeah. 20 minutes. I gotta go. I gotta.

All right, guys. I gotta find a. Yeah. I'll be with you. I'll be with you. I'll be with you to be on next month, but Colossal's a piece of shit So what happened? Oh, what happened? Joe Carcella from Colossal's a fucking asshole So oh my god, he just doesn't book me the way he's supposed to be me fucks up all the time He double books people who is that?

Hey, he's the guy that Linda Rowe has it coastal to look people so fuck that guy open the fuck is he doing here? He doesn't everybody. He's just a piece of shit He's he's gone for 20 days. He's a fucking grand jury for something to get an old of a male. Who is it? Joe Kersela. He's a fucking idiot. What the fuck man? Take care of Mike Joe. The fuck the kids hustling man. Not you. Joe Kersela. I'm sorry buddy. That's okay. What do you got Abby? I just got basement and bar shows coming up. Stop obsessing over my parents. What about me? I do all this work for you You never say I love you Gabby. I do all the time. Yeah, you do

He actually does call me. I do call you and I say I tell you how great you are. You're right. I'm kidding Yeah, so fuck off Last thing before we go new computer set up thanks to Oscar Gonzalo. He's been on the couch I'll ask is the best. Thank you Oscar. Oscars in Gonzalez. I want to thank all the fans. Zach. What do you got? Nothing. The new guy. It's my favorite thing of the show. It was his birthday last week.

And happy birthday. Happy 47th birthday. All right. I gotta go. Thanks, Bobby. You guys the best. You know what? Thanks Bobby. You guys the best you know what Listening to YKWD podcast Thanks for listening Now go back to your shitty jobs. Shitty jobs Check out riotcast.com for all the best podcasts on the internet and they're all free con volotea, la región de Murcia nunca ha estado tan cerca, espectacularismos, linces de película y un sincindia aventuras desperan.

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