Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - TJ Miller & Ian Fidance | Excitable

Episode Date: November 12, 2023

This week Bobby is joined by TJ Miller and Ian Fidance. TJ talks about why he did Transformers 4: Age of Extinction, they talk about Michael Richard's infamous Laugh Factory set, and Bobby tells a story of the first time he met Ian. Follow TJ Miller https://tjmillerdoesnothaveawebsite.com/ https://www.instagram.com/teenagemillionaire/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNNlu-V3izIs8sMRqHdebLQ Follow Ian Fidance https://www.ianfidance.com/ https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69 https://www.youtube.com/@BeinIanPod This episode is sponsored by GhostBed Listeners can get 40% off all products sitewide! Use promo code YKWD at GhostBed.com/ykwd for 40% Off Sitewide. Limited Time Only. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp Visit BetterHelp.com/DUDE today to get 10% off your first month! This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh Support the show and get free breakfast for life when you go to https://www.hellofresh.com/YKWDFREE and use code YKWDFREE at checkout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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That's free breakfast for life at hellofresh.com slash YKWD3. That's YKWD for you know what dude, with code YKWD3. I already did Transformers 4 as a joke. Why would I already do that joke? What do you mean as a joke? I started to be funny to be in Transformers. That's what I did the movie.

Do you know why I did it? Because that's a really funny intro. And Yogi Bear 3D had kind of lost its like fun. Yeah, because that was like your intro for forever. Yeah, it's like for wow is like ladies gentlemen from Yogi bear 3d TJ Miller and then that had gone on a little while wasn't really working So it's like transformers for that. It's really so then I would make people introduce me and go ladies and gentlemen From transformers for age of extinction TJ Miller and once a kind into the Age of Extinction,

and afterwards I did great, I got off the stage and I was like, can I talk to you? And he was like, what, that was great, right? You didn't kill, then I was like, can I talk to you? Like tomorrow, I'm like, it's Age of Extinction. It's not Transformers 4. If it was just Transformers 4, then they wouldn't have put Colin the age of extinction to understand.

And the kids like can't tell if I'm funny. Like he's like, is this guy be and I was like, you think I would say Yogi bear without the 3D? Because the title of these Yogi bear 3D saw it. And I like how do I was just. Yeah. And I go, I go. But you know what? This is never gonna happen again.

So, you don't even have to remember this. Jesus, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like Podcast right now We're back. You know what dude live welcome everybody to the show Started the social media podcast WD podcast Old school back in the day. We're all started before them all Podcast is so fun and crazy and there's no rules Shut up. you all whoinig this. Brick the ball, damn it, man.

I'm sorry. It's a comedy podcast. This is an NPR. That's the podcast done. Is there any better show? This is the original original. We have TJ Millers in the house. Any in finance, how do you say it?

How do you like to do that? You've known me for years. I know, but I've heard it five different ways. And you know how to say it, and you go, TJ Millers in the house, and he in finance. Finance, finance. And whatever.

And listen, that's why I mean. That's why I mean. I mean, the name that is easy to remember to announce everything. My actual name is being Raidonky. That's fucking not. Yeah, Raidonky. And you got to hear my podcast, being Raidonky with Gordon. That actually does sound like I like that.

I have a small lesbian looking woman named Gordon. There are two friends of mine that love saying the podcast name over and over and it's you in Differented her. She had towards me. You face him face the host and Stavvy who him and him and his way I always go be your camera's where's his camera? What is happening? That's better. Yeah, that's better Like favorite thing is the way you stick stink you fuck it stink. Who's the other person that loves Santa? Stovey. Santa? Stovey.

Stovey. Stovey. Stovey. Stovey. Stovey. Stovey. Stovey. Stovey.

Stovey. Stovey. Stovey. Stovey. Stovey. Stovey. Stovey. Stovey.

Stovey. Stovey. Stove you had the little fuzzy hair. I did. I did. You look like Larry from Three Stooges. Yes. And you gave me one of the first chances to be on a big podcast. And I'll never forget that. I think I've loved you from the second I met. You have. Yes, I have.

Show me a day. I saw him, I said, I don't care for this young gentleman. When I took a 24 hours, I go, well, let's really think about this. Remember my wife was like, what are you thinking about? You haven't looked or talked at anything. You've been looking out the window

and you kind of been gone. And everybody, she goes every hour to go, hmm. And then she said then you woke up out of your, it was almost a night tear. It's violence! It's not violence, it's not violence. It's violence.

And then from there on out, I like to. I had the same thing happen to me. There's a lot quicker though. I just really just find it. And my brother's like, what the fuck? See, when I first met you, that was two or three days. Right? Just had to take it to our game. When did we meet? When did we meet?

I feel like it was on this block. I was telling him, I call this the McDougal district. Oh. And I think that sounds cool, but also no one, it was on this block. I was telling him I call this the McDougal district. Oh, I think that sounds cool But also knowing it'll never catch on I never do anything like that come up with like oh, this is cool Yeah, catch on and then yeah, I keyed WD this podcast never caught off for me by Sexual out Never got on women's penis I know those I think that stinks Stinks it stinks. It stinks second-women penis doesn't stink.

Good for you. I like the young generations making it cool. Yeah. Well, I feel like Norton crawled so I could walk so Derosa could run. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then Derosa stood up and then bent out. Yeah. It was like, uh, uh, uh. I got his upright and then Deroza bent back over. Yeah. About him though, somebody said that this is so great, that Skankfest for everybody is politically incorrect. These guys don't give their answer.

We'll go stuff. It's the only festival where everybody knew the guy, who, and as I can, this is what I, here's how I understand it. Okay. He jacked off a woman and then sucked a guy's dick. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he jacked off a woman and that woman get hard sucked his dick sucked his dick. So he jacked off a woman and he got a dick sucked by a guy. And Nikki, well, no, we well, no, yes, no, no, no. You say woman, a woman, he jacked off a woman and then got his dick sucked by the same woman.

Yeah, by the same woman. Yes. Yes. And he all pretend that she's a woman and they's a woman that what he did is she's getting. She has a ghost. My God. She is not big. He, he, she, she, she, she, she, she, no. No, no, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she It's gonna be a wee. Well, don't you think it'd be funny? What do you think it'd be funny? What if it's a wee?

If we all sucked each other's dicks right now? Yeah, that'd be fun. That'd be a great podcast. What if he didn't do it? He just goes, fucking, we're ears. And what about dicks? You guys sucked dick bad. You know what, dude?

It's not that bad. You know what's funny? I and Non. Or Fileted. Fileted. Is that a word? Fileted, huh? You're having your penis, Phelate. You know what's funny? I did not. Phelate, or Phelated. Phelated. Is that a word? Phelated, oh. Phelate is like, I think it's like,

Phelate and Yon. Yeah, just. What's up? What's crazy? This is crazy, because you guys both have the same energy, which I love. It's very manic, but it's very improv. Thank you.

And crazy. Let's suck each other's dick. That's why not. Let's do it. That's one of us transition. Right now's suck each other's dick. Why not I do it. I could bring it one of us transition Right now I think it's you I think you'd be what I think this one's halfway there That is that you know you would definitely an F. J. Amme. Oh, no I would describe that as like I saw him second dick and he kept rolling his eyes you suck a dick

That's how straight he is that's he's oh, oh please. He's so straight I'm stuck in a dick this was a thing he was sucking a dick on there better be a pussy at the end of this This didn't it was like this one I see it back in this game. It was like this one, two, three, underneath legs. So let me ask you a question. I don't know when we met. Was it on the street?

I think so. Because you were, where did you start comedy? I started in Chicago. In Chicago, but then you went to LA. And I went to Los Angeles. I was in New York trying to at least do spots and figure something out. And then I got a job in Los Angeles.

So I went out there as like a television pilot and then that got picked up. And then I was trapped in Los Angeles for eight. I met you, I know where it was dude. Where? I met you on Opinion. Oh yeah. The movie.

Great movie, horror movie. I was a horror film. Clover Field, which was, by the way, a movie that is forgotten about when you talk about horror or scary movies, and one of the scariest fucking movies, because you combined the Blair Witch shit, you had the camera, right? You had the, right?

Yeah, and I think, you know what's interesting? People say that, Cloverfield, it's just forgotten, I mentioned, I hear people be like, I think she's out of my league is the most underrated movie. I like this Christmas party, nobody. And it's like, no, it isn't underrated. And also, it's not forgotten about it.

It's just, it's so good that it has that specific. Nobody, like when you bring it up, I, oh, like, I'm like, that is not under I didn't see that I see underrated I don't think we're gotten about for God in the Bible right have you seen chlorophyll and he also said underrated has seen it you did you said I didn't know he said I'm ready you see chlorophyll never you didn't see chlorophyll now but I've watched my league so many times. I apologize. I got a job at TSA because of you. He's not true. He still has it. Yeah. Um, they're not going well. But you did the, you

did clover feel you came in as an actor, great actor too. You're awesome. And then I found that you did stand up. And you said, no, not not at all, dude. You wound up posting an award show. Yeah, the critics choice. And I was fucking floored. I thought it was, I thought it was, you're the first one to actually do something different than going up and doing a monologue. And, you know, hey, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You went up, you just think with all these. I said, the second one was I had puppets. You had puppets where you know this Michael Jackson dancers that have one with, I had puppets. You had puppets. You know, there's Michael Jackson dancers that have the like, it's puppets. There's like two of them on either side and anything they do, the puppets do also. So we decided to do that in the opening of the show. And yeah, that was, I had a sketch group in Chicago. And basically I hired those guys and we turned, I did two of the work shows.

The first one, the second one that I did, we just turned them into sketch comedy shows for us. You never had us and now I never had magic. We never really had anything that we could put sketches on on television. And the funniest fucking thing, Nick Vatterot is this comic was brilliant. He's the best.

And he's the best. He is the, I have sat. And you would, you would love, that was the best, but no, go ahead guys. You know what, he's the David Telev Robert Kelley's to set. Yes, yes. I was gonna say that. He said I'm saying, I do. Without that connection, he's just not that good.

I've sat and played his albums for people to watch their reaction because it's so funny. His album with the pimples. Who is this guy? Nick Vatterer? I thought, do I know him? No, so here. No, his album with the pimples. Who is this guy? Nick Vatterer. I thought, do I know him? No, so here's the thing. Bring him up on the thing.

When he was in New York, he was only doing Brooklyn. Oh, that's the British British. He was only doing mostly Brooklyn shows and sort of all just. And the crew. He never really got into clubs at all. And he's now in Los Angeles. He writes for Bill Mar. And he did the funniest thing on Jimmy Fallon.

You'll ever see that's him. OK. And so he and I were talking about this. And we started cracking up because in the critics' choice awards, we did a thing where I was like, I'm going to get shot out of a cannon. Because I think that's an important thing. From show business, I love cannons.

And the people who get shot out of the cannon. So I got to do. Why do you love cannons? You know know every time I look at a gun I'm like that could have been a cannon could have been bigger could have been bigger could have been bigger maybe I have a you know kind of a there's something I can't and be a cannon can it okay I know it so I got in the cannon this is all on television with like, people in the audience are like, Warren Beatty is there. Yeah. What do you mean?

What do you mean, what do you mean? I don't know. 1972. Oh, and you weren't born in. I get in the, the can. I look like a, like I'm going, I'm going. I get in the can and, and then the cannon explodes. And just my head lands right next to Jessica Chastain's table.

And then I introduce the commercial or the next award, just my head right there next to Jessica Chastain. And I love we were laughing so hard at the idea of like, why did it just blow my head off? Where is the body? How could that have happened? That's great. That's the body? What, how could that have happened? That's great. That's the best.

Dude, can I ask you a question though? Will you nervous about doing this shit? Oh, you do not give a fuck. You seem like the type of guy. I don't give, I'm doing what I do. I am who I am. I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna go do it.

You gave me the job. I'm just gonna go do it. I think it's, yeah, for sure. I actually, we're, You've always had a weird fucking lot of confidence. It's not really confidence that we were talking about this earlier. It's just I actually don't give a fuck which is very um a luring to Hollywood until you're they like are like well you really don't give a fuck. No I don't give a fuck and they're like well I you want to leave this a very successful television show if you do two more seasons then you have a boat. No, I don't give a fuck and they're like, well, I you want to leave this a very successful television show

If you do two more seasons then you have a boat Don't you want a boat? And I'm like, nah, I really give a fuck about that. I like my wife's cool I want to live in my hat and I want to be a stand-up comic. I want to be like Rakelly. I want to be like a man hat and comic kills the clubs plays all over everything and they're just like This is you got to play by our rules. This is this is how you're supposed and I'm like, I'm gonna get a club's plays all over everything. And they're just like, you know what? You gotta play by our rules. This is how you're supposed to, and I'm like, I don't give a fuck. So that helps me do things like that.

But then it hurts you in different arenas, but it's okay, it's like, cause I actually am a nihilist. And part of it may be I'm brain damaged. Sorry, I'm sorry. Take that back, and I'm like like you don't have to edit it But I would like to walk that back. Okay, what what my neuropsychologist my neurologist my brain. I'm not brain damaged I had a brain injury or a trauma before I was born. It's an avM, Arturia Venus Malfurmation. And in 2010, while I was filming

Yogi Bear 3D, it hemorrhaged. So I had to have a golf ball size piece of my right front to low removed. Really? And that led to even before that. But manic energy, we're still, we need to get him a CAT scan. I mean, 100%. I want to do it right now. Maybe all over his face. I mean, you have it. You have it. And once I was removed% I want to do it right now. He all over his face. I mean you have you have it and Once I was removed I have a lot of sort of manic stuff and because that Before I knew about this I drank so much use of depressant smoke weed depressant nitrous oxide depressant And I've never once wanted to do cocaine or I don't drink coffee. I only drink this because you are

I got the same thing as you I don't want you to do that for me. I don't drink coffee, I only drink this because you are. I got the same thing as you. I don't want you to do that for me. Is that going to affect you? I don't think so. Okay, good. You have nitrous oxide, like the stuff that Vin Diesel uses to go fast. Whip it.

A whip it. No, I thought it was nitrous. Well, I'd suck an exhaust pipe. I did that back. No, it was at the right. Brave. It was attached to a lady. Never did that back. Was it the right brave? It was attached to a lady. Never been to one.

Back to the hugs. So, no, but you had a... So, you had a... I thought you'd be bald by now, by the way. Your hair is holding on tight. No, but it also looks good. You did it so it's your show, show. Let me see it.

Well, I've been wearing a hat all day. Let me see it. Dude, your hair just rode here for fucking lapels. It looks better than the pictures you've shown to me of it. Well, I've been wearing a hat all day. Let me bend in dude. You're just rode here for fucking It looks it looks better than the pictures you've shown me of it. It's cooler. It's more a stand-up comic Do you or I don't give a fuck? Do you think that you might have some of that? Do you think there might be something wrong with your brain? What I don't give a fuck. I eat it. Yeah, you don't give a fuck Yeah, you have the same thing. Yeah, you've never given a fuck free and so I am

I'm naming my special wild hat. I knew that's what I like to. Also, I think he and Jordan Jensen get along well because she gives a fuck. She gives every moment of every day, every second she is giving a fuck. She cares. So I feel like you guys kind of,

you know, you sort of even each other out. It's this ying yang type of thing. But to circle back around, it's like, so I don't know if that contributed to it or what, but I'm a positive nihilist, which means none of this means anything. But I don't do the thing where it's like, look at you, religious, you're Catholic,

you're fucking idiot, it's Hindu, you won't eat beef, but that's not it. If nothing means anything, then anything can mean everything. And so you make your own meaning. So anything that you think that's the meaning of life, I'm like perfect, you did it, I'm glad you built it up. If somebody else goes, I believe in,

how I Christian, I believe it, or I'm a Catholic, is my God, now if you're going to hell in this, that's great, cool. That's what you decided to make all of this mean. But for me, I sort of, I believe it's comedy absurdism. Absurdism is sort of nihilism with a smile, kind of a laugh or a chuckle. And then outside of that, it's really easy to just kind of go through life. I mean, that doesn't mean that much. I still get angry. I still believe very much in certain things. But those are things that I've kind of chosen.

So in this, I was like, first of all, I got the job as I got a critics choice award. And when I got up, I didn't know I was gonna win it. I got on stage. I had shoved a bunch of chocolate in my mouth because they film everybody who loses. I thought I was gonna lose. So my joke was I turned a cake.

That's my wife's cake. I turned a cake and go, okay, when they announce it, eat a bunch, like just fill your mouth real quick. And she was like, I'm not gonna do that. I was like, just do it. Not an analyst. Well, yeah, that, and-

She cares. I'm a girl. I don't wanna be on camera with my face- They still grow up food. So then they do it, I'm like, oh, and then they announce me and I win, I'm a whole, braw, so then I go on stage and I still food in my mouth and I do my thank you speech, but I make fun of the whole thing I say how it doesn't matter. That's that's where they're actually bringing up

But I do that whole thing and then I got a station. I was like that was hilarious Like how funny was that and then they called me like will you host this next year? No shit from that and then when I did the thing, Vatterot, and all these guys, CJ, Sullivan was on there. So many great writers, too many to mention. But we went on, we did the first, we did it the way we wanted to, we met at Crazy. And then they liked that we didn't give a fuck

so much in the hosting of it that they gave me the second. And for a while, I was like, I'm gonna do this. That's fucking a little bit. I'm gonna go ahead and, well, not forever, but I was like, I'll keep doing this. I think it's fucking hilarious. Let me see, put your headphones on, I wanna hear this. Great.

Yeah, I still, I still don't believe it. I mean, yeah, dude, that was real outskinned. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna, I just smoke some food to help. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha people rule because we'll take a situation like that where you might be nervous, you might overthink it, you might, and you're like, I'm gonna fucking make people laugh. I'm gonna have a good time. I'm making my wife laugh. Jam this shit in your mouth. You go up, you look at her, and you're like, you say her. I mean, fuck, that's why comics rule. But I think you're absolutely right. And first of all, you saying that is like, such foul, such incredible validation. Because that's what I did. Was I just went up and I was like, this is like such an incredible validation because that's what I did was I just

went up and I was like this is like a standup set yeah that's just what this is and the best thing I can do with it is just be a comic and just come at everything fuck with the audience I'm talking about the room I'm making fun of the award the award this crystal thing crystal thing. Everything like that. And even like a comic, I got to say it's not immediately. Like I saw it later and I was like, man, be kind of funny to like, have started talking into the award. And then kind of, and say it like that thing.

I should have done that. Yeah, and even, you know what, next time, oh, there isn't going to be an ex. Well, I would have ended it with like, thank you, I finance have a good. I'm like oh fuck like I've ended I ended a wedding speech like that Because I was so used to oh yeah Can I be honest with you guys I'll be honest with you I would have fucking failed As a comic I would have got sentimental I'd, I'll be honest with you. The first you did a little. That's good. Yeah, but I would have been like me a Sandler. I would

be under me. I would have gave a speech. Like I would have been like guys. Yeah, but that would have been perfectly. I wouldn't have been. I like this. You know, the first time I sold out this is the bisexual component. Yeah, he's the first time I sold out the Wilbur in my hometown. Yeah, yeah, at the end of it I I looked up at this full theater first time in my life and I went I just want to thank you guys For come you know, this really means a lot to me that you guys and I heard somebody in the crowd going oh boy I'll never forget I went I shouldn't I'm getting too emotional. I was a thank you good night. I was about to give a speech Yeah, that's nice and I heard a boy and I think it was my own

Boston that's kind of perfect. It's like you want to say thank you Boston Yeah, buddy, let's go. The boss closed and fucking 10 minutes dude. My, my opener in Boston is always, it's great to be back in Boston, the birthplace of racism. Yeah. And they all are like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We found God. Damn it. We need to bring it back. He's right. If you get up there, what they liked, I think, and why that works, is I was being sincere. That authentically is what I felt about awards.

It's all that. And so if I went up there and did a sappy speech, then people would be like, oh boy, this guy is so much for the guy who doesn't give a fuck. But if you went up there and tried to not care, then that looks bad because you do care and you are an emotion guy. And people every time you come on stage and you speak from that authentic place, someone in the audience is like, oh boy. Yeah, but you know what?

You know what did it for you though? Which I love is that you went, if I win, if I don't win, I'm not going to win. Let me, what can I do that will be funny on camera? Yeah, what's the funny fun stuff kid face. And then as soon as they went, this how funny, this why it's even better, they said your name and you grabbed more food and jammed it in your face, went up there. And that's why Ricky Javace, I think, was funny because he, he's like, no, you did it. It's not me. You fucking hell with a pedophile.

Not any J, because actors, the thing that sucks about actors that they don't have is they have to play the game. They can never get out of it. You know what I mean? No, it's true. And I did an ex-interview about Silicon Valley. And I was like, it'll be refreshing if I tell them honestly, what it's like to be on a television show which

Certain people you have problems with certain actors can be selfish or too much acting other people are Incredible some people steer the ship all this kind of stuff and then like an idiot I like trusted Hollywood would say the Hollywood reporter journalist was like, ooh, this will be good I'll leave you all the positive things. Yes, yes. So he didn't print anything that was positive, and he just printed me basically like railing the show and be like, fuck yourself and all this stuff.

And I remember when Catherine Heigel said something bad about knocked up, and he like fucked up her career. But she said that in the context of a bunch of other things, they just cherry picked it. So that like created a big problem for me. And a bunch of stuff I thought was funny. Like they're like, what did you think? I was like the writers, all those Harvard,

that crimson trash. They all think you're better at it. All that. And it's like, well clearly I'm not serious. Like they're just a bunch of fucking idiots. Well, they're not idiots. They went to Harvard Yeah, but that joke just didn't connect. He took it

So I think that is the frustrating thing about being an actor You do have to play the game and I think Holly would basically if they're like you're not playing the game I don't blame them for kind of going We have to live in LA. We have to play the game We have to pretend like money is the most important thing We have to sell everybody that this piece of shit that we made is actually incredible and we believe it and we're behind it and it has so much behind and the message that it gives to the children we have to do all that and so if you don't want to live in LA if you don't want to play the game you want to

say then fuck you man the only thing we can do is cut you out of it and I'm not saying that's what happened I'm saying I believe that there is just a huge contingent of people out there that don't want to live in LA. They don't want to play the game. They don't want to do all this stuff. So I don't blame them for looking at other people who aren't doing that and saying, man, fuck you.

You don't deserve to be here because you're not willing to play the game. And I actually, now the more I'm in New York, the more I'm like, A, I understand it, B, I empathize with it, and C, I see how a lot of them, right? And this is a blanket statement about Los Angeles. A lot of them,

are gay. I mean, you're half right. Ha ha ha. No bisexual bit. Thanks. I love his old bisexual bitch. Thanks. I love his voice. A lot of these people, they couldn't do New York. They couldn't cut it here.

They can't make it. They're not gonna, and I think that that's a tough thing. And I had one of the most powerful people in Hollywood, for sure. I asked him, he's a real West Coast guy, North, North Cal really. And I said, if you ever wanted to lick, because we were arguing about something like that, go, if you ever wanted to live in New York,

if you ever wanted to do, I had no idea what he was gonna say. Cause this guy's fucking, he made movies that changed children's lives instead. He's that fucking huge. And John Mortar. I exactly specifically was it?

Yeah, no. Divine was inspiration for Ursula. Yeah, yeah, changed your life. I love a fat mean bitch. Especially with a fat mean dick. I would have took offense that a year ago. That's right. I said, took offense that a year ago. That's right.

I said, would you, you look great. Thank you, buddy. You too. You, you know, would you ever live in, you know, New York? And you took a beat and he goes, I've always wanted to live there for a year, you know, to go through all the seasons. But that's too cold, it's dirty, and I just stopped listening to him

because I realized here before me, I had a titan of the entertainment industry of creativity of world culture. And he was like, be fun to visit. It's basically behind that was, and now I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't do that. I'm not going to. All these people, there's too many people.

It's too dirty. What do you crazy? The rent's so high. There's a thousand reasons not to live here. And the one or two reasons that you should live here, Trump, all that. They're a fucking flattened, all of the reasons that you can't live here. And I think one of the things was especially seeing you live in a club, seeing a tell, seeing, there's just certain Jim Norton, you see these people that I know are the, you know,

again, titans of stand-up comedy around the table, the seller. You guys almost, you were the people that made the seller, the seller, but also your own thing. It wasn't just like he's a seller comic. It's like he's Robert Kelly because he plays the seller because he's part of that crew, you know? Yeah.

And all of that, to me, when I first came here and I saw Arie Foucault, but Danger Fields, and he was like, I just came from uptown. I got to be at the seller at this time. They're like, all right, we'll bump the next guy. So you can go up. I'm like, he just came from another show and he's headed to another show.

He's about to go into a packed audience and fucking kill. I was like, what is this world? What is this fantasy land for a standup comic where you can do this much in front of these crowds and all that stuff? That to me, that plus K and I always wanted to live here. It's like, what's the problem? Yeah. What do you say?

It's true though. It's the way he's really packed. But also my mom and dad. You said something, can I just say something real quick? You said something when you do these interviews. When I was on that show with Dennis Leary on FX and it would, you know, it was a different level of fame where it's like, you know, you're doing these press junkets. You're being treated like a star.

I'm literally sitting next to like Jennifer Lopez on a red carpet and I'm like, what the fuck, and everybody else is just doing it. And then I remember when I was doing the press chunk and they'd pair us off, right? And I would, I'd always try to be funny and make it interesting, none of my stuff, the stuff that made it in was the boring stuff. Yeah, thank you, this is so exciting to be honest. That's the shit I didn't get anything.

They cut all my stuff out. And I was killing. Like I was at the, you go table to table to table. And I was fucking murdering. And I was like, dude, I'm fucking taking over this press jacket. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nothing. They couldn't use any of it.

Because they had to use, you know, I can't believe I get to work with this person and this stuff we're talking about and the fact that we have these, they wanted that. Because if they could, I didn't say anything negative. I wasn't doing, I was just being funny

and funny doesn't, they don't want it. It doesn't translate for some reason. Or they're sort of scared to do, they don't want to deviate and be the one that has you killing and crushing whatever. And so that's another thing that's tough is you've got a lot of people in any world, not just Hollywood.

You have people in any world who are like, I don't want to be, I'm not sticking my neck on a one. I don't want to be the guy that puts this out there, they don't like it and then I get fired. Everyone's protecting their job. And I feel it with, it's stand up comedy. You don't really work for anybody. You work with people. And the comedy seller is a little different because of how precarious the booker and the owner. And if you get cut out of it and this, and I said the wrong

thing, why have I stopped being booked? There is, there is a component of the seller that feels very much like you've got a long way to go before you feel like you're a collaborator and out of comic that works the seller. But I think for the most part, if I go to a club anywhere in Erie, Pennsylvania, if I don't like the club or the staff, I don't work there again. If they don't like me, I don't work there again. But if we both have a good time, then we're going to do it again, right? And I, at least right now, I'm not in a position where I'm like, please, please,

we book me. And they're not in a position really where they're like, please, please, we work with us. Because so it's more that type of relationship. Well, that's the last couple of years I told my wife, I think four years ago, I was like, I'm not working clubs. I don't like., I was like, I'm not working clubs. I don't like. If I don't, I'm not doing it. I don't, because if I, it hurts me too much. That's the top level.

That's the highest you can get as a standup comic. When you can say no, choice. The side where, yeah. Yeah, I works. Can I say something? Yeah, two things. One, I, what? Do you, I just think you're adorable.

That's a bad, nice. You look good. I always say, when a comic from I respect, I, all I've ever wanted to be is a great comic. I love comedy and to echo TJ, like I came up on Tough Crowd in the Cellar and I moved here at 18 and like I will corral my friends to come to the Cellar.

I'll never forget one time I wished you good luck in the hallway and you're like, thanks bud. I was like, Braver Kelly! Chad, thank you, Robby! You know, like at 18, I'll never forget Sharad called me a Muppet. I was in the front row and I like was with a girl and I was like,

oh, I, I'm eating! You know? So like is it? Muppet it out. This is, you know, being here on this block, the McDougal District is like, you know. So like, is it? Bopping it out. This is, you know, being here on this block, the McDougal District is like, you know, everything is a dream and it's so amazing and wonderful. And I always say, when a comic moves from LA to New York

because New York is like the mecca, this is a breeding ground for great comedians, all the respect in the world, that is amazing. I love it. And when a New York comic moves to LA to be like, I'm gonna blow. I'm like, boo, you stink. You know, but to leave not only LA, but a a roll in a show and this this thing that people have worked in cloud four to be like, no, I want to be a fucking comic. That is to me like the that me like the coolest fucking greatest thing to like,

because at the end of the day, it's all comics and comedy. Like, there are so many actors that get to a certain point. Like, I was thinking like Jim Carrey, like he got to a certain point and he's like, well, I'm not doing comedy again, you know? And like to, to your point, I'm gonna do movies again. I'm gonna go paint. Well, well, that's the thing though,

to give a comedy for that is like what? That's crazy. But to go back to comedy and have that be the thing. Well, here's the thing with standup comics though. Jim, Jim Kerry was a funny guy. There's, you know what I mean? He was a funny, but when you're a standup, it's in you, like you can't not do it,

even on a bus, an elevator, wherever the hotel lobby, a award show, it just comes out and it's there, whether you do it at an improv for five shows, fucking killing yourself, or you do it at an award show, it just comes out. You know what I mean? That's true, and that's how I feel about Michael Keaton.

I was just gonna say Michael Keaton. I was just in his name, Michael Keaton. I was just gonna say that. And we believe you. Yeah. Saddle down. Oh, I'm excited. He's excitable. Yeah.

That's quite a lot. The finding adjectives of E and finding. Yes. Excitable. He's just another act of it. Is there a better one? He's just another act of it. Is there a better one?

I think it's more than excitable. What? Something explosive excitement. Yeah. Haha. I love it. You than excitable. I think it's something explosive excitement. Yeah. I love it. You got your same watch. So, but I do, I think, right, Michael Keaton, even maybe David Letterman, right?

Jay Leno, you know what? That's wrong. Jay Leno is a comic. Jay Leno is a comic. He's still fucking going back. Letterman is not a comic. Letterman is not a comic. Nope.

And so I think that- Michael Keaton was in a comic, but he got up at the comedy store. He got up at the comedy store, but he's still going up now. No, no, no, but that's what I'm saying. The people that are comics and then they stop. How about the people that Rob and Williams, he kept, he came here. He's a poor sure. Oh, dude, nicest guy in the world.

I met him downstairs one night, three months later, I was in the hallway, standing next to him nervous, so he goes, Hey, Bob, I went, what the fuck did you just say? She named Bob. I was like, this motherfucker knows my name. I was a guest, Bob. Yeah, but he would go up and do stand. One of them would hear a funny thing.

Yes. He came into the cell all night with Colin Quinn, me, Norton, Colin Quinn, and Robin Williams comes in. She's there. And we're like, what the fuck? And Robin went off, but on Colin, but like one of his improvs, I go, call it Quinn. And you suck, you know, Colin just fucking getting angry

because we were dying laughing. And the more we laughed, the more fucking Rob, ooh, yeah. And the pick up thing, and call it Quinn. And Colin was like, okay, ooh, yeah, and the big up thing, and call the queen, and call the rest of the way. And Colin was like, okay, we, dude, it was one of the greatest nights of my life. And then Rob was like, oh, see, Lidd, and he was like, you fucking, how's it about to hit him?

We were fucking howling. It was so great, love robberman. Yeah, and I mean, those that sort of what I'm- Can I say something, you lived in LA as a standup, right? Yeah, for a time. Cont, why do LA comics suck? No, this is what I'm not gonna say to it because I do. I think-

Taking them back to a bit, please. I'm saying this. Why do LA comics have such a thing with East Coast comics? Like, you know, they're like, you East, they have this thing where we, I feel like they think we hate them. We think they suck. I like it on a like comics.

I think it's because we have the luxury of getting up a bunch and they don't. And imagine you got, yeah, but if the show doesn't end up, they really don't. And somebody always said this to me and this is really what it's like there. There's so many fucking comics because everybody moved, it's not comics in New York, don't get me wrong. So many good comics have

moved there and there's so little stage time. There's only three clubs. There's the comedy store, the Laugh Factory, I'm a factory comic, and then the improv and that's it. And there's the comedy magic club in Hermosa Beach. That's 45 minutes away. So there's only really three real clubs. Now they're all right next to each other, which is good because if you were past at each of them then you could theoretically do. I think my record in Los Angeles is five shows. That's it. Wow. It might be four to be honest with you. And I had to, I had a ride, Murray put on the hazards, yeah, this block, do that on a Wednesday. Yeah, it is. And so it's like, wait, how many did you do?

13. It's what I'm saying. And my record here is 8 and I'm like, I can do more, but I was on a weekday. But still, it's like, it is amazing. So you do a month's worth of shows for a lot of comments in one night, in a night. And I think weekend. Yeah, I was in Los Angeles and I just got in there and I was on a television show called Carpoolers and I done Cloverfield, a forgotten film when horror films are back.

It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. Crazy. I right now don't remember what we're talking about. I want to tell you right now, YoTJ Miller, I'm Robert Kelly.

We're talking about Cloverfield, fucking terrifying movie. Terrifying and just unexpected, the way it was made, like is this real? You know it's- Don't spoil the ending. I've never seen it. It was a monster. No!

Listen dude. It was bloody. It was so good. I'm telling you, and it never, this Halloween I was going over hard scary movies scary And it and I'm like fuck clover. Yeah, you're right. They never mentioned They never Halloween scary movie list now. I realize it is forgotten. Hey, you're Robert Kelly. I'm T.J. Miller We both have friendship bracelets. We do a mind says we both have Rolex

We both have Rolex is too. What's up? Here's this class here. Now I use this the other is more expensive. That's true. It's the home. I even wanted to begin it. Yeah, but that's the Hulk. What is that that was what you are? What? Hey, take your free. Yeah, I know Cassie. Take my role. I just bought a Cassie. Oh, take it. Take that exact one. I bought two rats tonight at Petsmart. It's worth $24,000. Are you sure? Fuck up. Yeah. I was talking to him. Oh, just Yeah, that's a seller table bit

You want two rats today? Yes, me and Jordan. Are you fucking serious pet rats? Yes, two pet rats See the other rats in your apartment. To make friends with them. They'll be asked them to leave. And then make a soup. To the soup. To the jackass ass. And part, the most important thing is, what are the names?

What's your name? We're deciding what we're thinking Richard to, because we have a taxidermied rat on a toilet named Richard, and we're thinking Richard to and Marlene. Why don't you name it Richard's brother, Mike. Michael Richards. Michael Richards. His set of the left factory won a little something like this.

Is it a black rat? That is. No. Dude, that video of Michael Richards flipping out the funniest part to me is that there's a girl off camera It during the recording when he's saying the ember. She goes cramer. No Actually really yeah, you can hear her go cramer No, that was one of those ones we saw and you're like, ah, there's really no way out of this This is how you watch that as a comment. It's just how he says the N word the like second or third time

This is the face you come This this this is the face when you like second or third time. This is the, that makes you come. Oh, this, this, this is the face when you watch that as a comedian. We did it. Hey. You watch it like this, you like. Yeah, and then you like at the end, you're like, oh, I do, you gotta stop.

Dude, have you a thing? Yeah, I'm like, it's like back of the room, you know. It's like, you're like, this is great. And then you're like, dude, you gotta, all right. If I was there, I would be knee slapping, like, oh my God, and then after a while, you'd be like, this is great, and then you'd be like, if I was there, I would beat me slap it like, oh my god, and then after a while, I'd be like, yeah, you gotta take it down. When, this is why he's not a comic.

When people were blaming stand-up comics, I was like, not a comic, famous person that probably did comedy a little bit, a real comic would never use the N word. No. That many times. Ah! No, there's the famous video of Val. So you're gonna flag down to the real man.

Louis, Chris Rock, and Ricky Jervet. And you know what I mean? Yeah. But they're talking about the use. He is just being like not only mean and terrible, but like dark. Yeah, he's just a weird, he isn't a thonger. He's a Boston.

Well, did you ever see the video after that of somebody clipped together Kramer's apology, but they use the episode of Kramer and the monkey? What is he like? He's a monkey, Jerry. He's a monkey. You a new politician to the monkey. I thought you guys are gonna laugh. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, erases joke and nobody laughs, it's just racist. That's what's funny about what you just did.

You went, the monkey, and we both heard monkey, and we went like this. But there wasn't. I get it, it wasn't. You know what? I'm free. I don't give a fuck. Okay.

Little racist too. Yeah. Yeah. The drinking. You gotta have the drink rimshot. Little racist too. Ha ha ha ha. So let me ask you another question.

Now, have you ever been on TV? Have you ever booked like a TV show or what were you on? I was on the last OG with Tracy Morgan. Oh really? Because I am DBed you after I did his part. Shut up really? After? I'm funny.

You didn't do it before? Yeah. Fuck now. What a sucks. I worked it. What were you on the show? Dude, it was actually like the best experience I've ever had. Well, it was so fun. It was right before the pandemic.

I was, my character was drunk guy, right? So I had one line where I had to go like, whoa, man. And so they, I'm on set and it was like time for my like, line. It was like, oh yeah. Because I had to be, he pointed like a girl to me or whatever.

And I was like, you know what? They can always tell me to do it again. I'm gonna fucking swing and I improvise a line and it broke the crew and it broke Tracy. And they were like, yo, do it again. And so I set another line and he was like yo let my man rock and They let me improvise I'd be Tracy. What mean? I'd be Tracy in the sink. We were in active. All right, so do the line

He had to point out a girl and goes yo that's how do I that fun girl over there is in you I got as a black girl's to sheers amada. I always all right yo yo check out that girl over there. She's fine as pussy Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then my my line was My line was oh yeah, but what is that was Michelle oh bomb And he goes he goes go get her and I Don't get yo let this yo you do your your That's what it was you and mother fuck but you were talking about his arm around me It was a man you look on the fucking face. He's a little motherfuckers, but I like you

It was the best and then at the rap party at the gas party. He acted like he didn't know me. Yeah, it was amazing He's crazy. I was like crazy. Can I get ready? I'm just like, oh, little man. And then he just walked away. I was like, that's happened to me. So you're going to make me a star. Famous people, famous people. And you've met famous people. Yeah. You know, a lot of famous people. Yeah, I'm in the room with two of them right now. No, I love you that you said that, but that's crazy. That's crazy. Okay. Yes, there's a thing. Then you go, well, I was on TV. You guys on TV, but it wasn't like, it's different level. Dude, when you're on TV, you're famous. You're on TV. I'm talking about stereotypical things.

You're a famous. You're famous. Yeah, I understand what you're saying. But I'm talking for people watching this. And you know what I mean? Like you've been in, you're in the movie Deadpool. One of the biggest movies, one of the greatest successes of all time is Farah's movies go.

That's the story of the end. of all time as far as movies go. That's the end. It's very scum. As far as comedy and Marvel's, that thing made it okay to be edgy in these fucking films. That's right. Did I was like, I don't want to do a Marvel comic. I already did Transformers 4 is a joke. Why would I already do what do you mean as a joke? I started be funny to be and transformers That's why I did the movie That is you know why I did it like because that's a really funny intro and Yogi bear 3d had kind of lost. It's like Yeah, cuz that was like your intro for forever. Yeah, it's like for wow's like ladies gentlemen from Yogi bear 3d

TJ Miller and then that had gone on a little while Wasn't really working so it's like transformers for that. So really so then I would make people introduce me and go ladies and gentlemen From transformers for age of extinction T.J. Miller and once a guy didn't say age of extinction afterwards. I did great. I got a station I was like can I talk to you and he was like what that was great, right? You. I was like, can I talk to you? And he was like, what? That was great, right? You didn't kill, then. I was like, can I talk to you? Like, tomorrow night.

It's age of extinction. It's not Transformers 4. If it was just Transformers 4, then they wouldn't have put colon the age of extinction to understand. And the kids like, can't tell if I'm funny. And like, he's like, is this guy be, and I was like, you think I would say

Yogi bear without the 3D? Cause the title of me is Yogi bear 3D. So I don't, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like,

but you know what? This is never gonna happen again. So, you don't even have to remember this. Jeez, and I just like, it's a long way, yeah. And you didn't tell have to remember this. Jesus Christ. I just walked away. Yeah. And you didn't tell me it was a bit.

No, I keyed his car. But I'm serious. It was a centra. I need some centra. No, but I mean, so then that was funny. That was like a funny thing for a little while. Dude, to have the opportunity to do a fucking major motion picture as a bit. Cuz God damn it.

Now it's the emotion. What? The fact that he said centric. It was a centric. He's such a funny car. It was a centric. Agnion doesn't work as well anymore. And Nissan Juke wasn't, it just wasn't enough in the cultural consciousness to use that joke

anymore. But when you're around famous famous people, right? Isn't there a, there is a, I feel like there's a thing where you're, you're family. You're family. You're a movie stars. Movie stars. Movie stars. You're, you're, you're, you're me this.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Giggling like a little boy who found a diary. We have questions. Oh my God. These are very fun. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. Like movies. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, yeah, it's a little true. Listen, don't yell at people. He yells at people, it comes over. You do it and people get scared. He and I'm just in the money. He's not gonna put you in Deadpool sets. It's all the, okay?

He put himself in it. He's fucking got himself out of that. Specifically three. Yeah. What are you talking about? Nobody's in that movie. But when you're around those people, you feel like your family and you're,

but then like comics, we cannot see each other for years, as soon as I see, what's up, what's going on? We, but with actors, I feel like when you leave, you're done, and when you see them again, if you're not in something with them, it's like, hey, how you doing, good to see you? It's a disconnect, it's a cutoff.

I think you're right. I think, here's what I'll say. I think that what you're saying about comics is completely true. I'll say that at the end of the talk anyway. So with actors, there's so much inherent competitiveness. And comics are competitive. You know what somebody Walberg said to me

when I was doing Transformers 4 age of a thank you you welcome you're welcome you're welcome uh... write that down shit yeah and so that's the clip he came up to me and he goes he goes um... he kind of asked us there's another comedian that did a part in the movie and he's like so are you guys like i can do Walberg you want to do Walberg yeah yeah be Walberg

uh... he did for a community listen to it. When you do the, uh, I don't know if you know this, I got municipal coming out, it's my thing. But, uh, my, I know it's weird that I talk so I talk so. Talk to you Liam. No, but I talk a little higher than they do with it. He's on his nitrous. Am I right though? Yes, you are. He talked that hard. Listen to me. He's one of the toughest motherfuckers I've ever met in my life. Dude, I stabbed the guy in the eye. I murdered, I almost murdered him, but no one, I got away with it, dude. I gave his family $6,000. And a duck and donuts coupon for fucking five duck and donuts, dude. Anyways, go ahead.

No comment, and it was a wall burgers. Give certificate. So with him, he said, so are you guys like competitive? Do you guys all hang out? Are your friends was kind of his question? And I was like, no, I don't think we're competitive. And then I told him what I'm about to say here. But I said, you know, and I think we're sort of, we're all buddies, because then I said, when I go, do you hang out with other action stars?

Like are you competitive with them or any of that? And it's so fucking cool he is, it's insane. He's just like, oh, what would I hang out with them? Yeah, I'm not trying to. Sometimes if Denzel and I do a movie together, yeah. I mean, we see each other, but I might want to hang out with Matt Damon or Johnny Depp. It was just this moment where I was like, yeah, Johnny Depp is like Willie Wonka,

and Matt Damon is making fun of Boston, kind of, with the whole... Yeah, but that would be different if the Hard Rock Cafe still existed. I missed that. Reminds of Planned In Hollywood. Because I'm comfortable. Okay.

There you go. Yeah, yeah. So, I have to be uncomfortable for you to be comfortable. On his own show. On my own show. That's on you. I mean, it's not on me. It's actually almost on me.

Yeah. You're making me have problems. Getting awfully close to being on me. I am comfortable. Why are you sitting like a sissy chimp? I'm not. Why do you care? I don't.

And then it's a lot of the frame over the inside of you. Well, don't do you a little fucking trans fingers. I get in trouble doing this for joy. Don't do that. Put your hands in it. I'm not gonna do it. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yes, yes. So you know, so I don't think but no, I will say as an actor or a famous person. Yeah, let's say your movie star You meet all these people on a film and then go ahead do the whole thing. Oh, good

And then you see people at the rap party else you can't remember every single person Right, I think a lot of actors like level actors, will actually pretend like they don't know you as almost a status play. But what I have found in the world of movie stars, it's like you meet somebody like Kristen Stewart or Jennifer Aniston or even Adam Sandler, a lot of these people, they don't forget you in the sense that if you're sort of in their world, and you're kind they understand that you're, they remember you and they're really nice about it, but there's no like, hey, and do you see my thing? What did you think of that?

There's none of that. That doesn't exist in that world. You never fan, I would never ask Jennifer Aniston for a picture. That would end that friendship. So some extra on the Lesogies, Tracy for a selfie and they kicked them off the set. And the reason is not because, oh, I'm much more important. It's just like, you don't seem to get it. We're all on the same side of the fence right now.

So let's like work together and not be like that. And the greatest example is this guy, Ethan Sopli, who was in American history, X, he was my name is Earl. Yeah, my name is Earl. He's a boy meets world. Yeah. He now is like a fucking guru. He lost. I mean, have you seen his you guys would get along really well, not because we know, I'm going to move. I'll be honest. You name were both fast were both fast did a movie with them. No really really I did Stavros his movie oh awesome I played his dad really away let me say something he I spit Stavros his dad he played his brother Stavros his brother he is

Fucking so nice and so funny. That's so cool. Yeah, he's great. And so he's one of my best friends. I love this guy. I love him. I have his number. Dude, he should be on the podcast. And I know. Have you been on YouTube? Listen, can I say what happened? He's in Florida a lot of times.

He's in Florida, but I think what happened we call the N word. I think it was three times. I thought comedy comes in three. Yeah, Richard comes in forward. He in finance comes in three. Comedy comes in three. Yeah. Like, oh, Richard comes in four. Ian Finance comes as many times as it'll take. Yes. If you got a dip. Yes.

And a pussy. I'm not a good comedian can get away with a lot of things. Belusing sleep isn't one of them. We got to be well-rested to be funny. That's why I'm a big fan of the folks at Ghostbend. They've been making high quality mattresses with premium materials for over 20 years. So you know, they'll give you a good night's sleep.

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Hanukkah and all the other holidays new years It's a stressful time. Where do I go? What do I do? Who's coming where one of my getting her? What are they getting me did they get me some crappy stuff? Did I get that? I mean it's stressful anxiety Fear for all that stuff comes into play. It can be a lot a lot Sad anxiety man, but you know what? You can add something new to your life. You can add a little positivity to it You can add a little therapy to it

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Solicitate a tu beca en FundaciónLaCaixa.org. Buscas contenido gratis. ¡Au, wanna be see! Pluto TV es el servicio de streaming gratuito con más de 120 canales, dedicados a películas, series, gremene, realities y contenido infantil. Blu-fotiví, ven a verlo, sin pagar nunca. 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, 3 por uno, Esta es la 3 por uno señal, que significa que ya puedes aprovecharte del 3 por uno en medianas a domicidio solo pidiendo el line.

1... ¿Saparao? 3 por uno, 3 por Three, four, one, three, four, one. Oh, no, no, no. Dominos! Pizza. Have you ever come on another guy's dick on his hard dick? Just say yes. No, I mean, this is interesting.

I'm not going to roll a dicks of experience right now. Yes, that's the truth. Yes. You have on a Transloman's Weener II. Oh, that's different. You did both? Let's separate times. Yeah, but there was a guy and then the trans woman.

What? Not in the same time. You separate times, but you ejaculated on the hard penis. On it. Can I ask a question, is that a faux pas? What? Like if I was banging to... No, it's a faux pas, is you saying faux pas.

Yeah, it's faux pas. He's leaning with the faux. Yeah. You want to leaning with the faux. Yeah. You want to go with the pa. Ha, ha, ha. If I, if I was fucking a dude or dude was fucking me and then he came on my dick and I'm like, dude, come on, dude, what the fuck, man?

The fuck am I, a napkin? The fucking, come on your own, fucking dick. That's about the first time I've spit out a drink because of laughing. Maybe you don't have to. You don't have to get that happens, you can pull it back and fling it on. And it's just guy, it is like, are we doing this? Yeah, dude.

I'm gonna come off my fucking dick. Yeah, dude, I'm gonna finish fucking me. Yeah. I'm not a girl. I don't know if we fucking treat me like a girl. I'ma do you? Who are you trying to convince? I'm just saying, I'm not a girl.

But you're right, that's the equivalent of ejaculating out of women's stomach. Yeah, girls are like, what do you want me to come on? On my stomach, on my, girls like that. If you come on a, you come on a guy's dick. It's like, come on, I gotta clean up you, you know, I ain't, I don't like that.

But you've never had a girl be like, hey, come on my pussy. Yes, I have. Yes, so at what's to say, a guy can't be girl be like hey come on my pussy. Yes, I have yes So at what's to say a guy can't be like hey come on my head as soon as I did it the one girl like this She's a guy. This is a mistake really she had post-nut Clarity from you Here we should we had a fucking clean it out Coming is I can I be honest with you about coming I don't like come I don't either I don't I don't like it I don't it's fucking the girls who love it and then the question there is do any girls really love come one

I think she's from like fucking like Vermont Yo show Michelle loves come on a face. She got a dick come on the face. She got a dick. She be fucking wrong. Unlegedly. That is Michael Obama. That's the rumor. And that is what I led with when I went to my 20 year high school you need people I hadn't seen in years. I was just going up to people telling them conspiracy theories because I couldn't give a shit less about where he live. How many kids? Yeah. You open where he live, how many kids? You opened up, hey, how you doing?

You see Michelle Obama's cock? Oh no, no, straight up, like they're like, oh my God, a man is so good to see. Yeah, what have you been up to? I've been kind of getting into like reading, and I was reading that Michelle Obama is actually a man named Michael. And they're like, ah-ha! And there's no way for them to tell whether or not you're being serious. She's no, they don't have a- Fun for me.

Fun for me. Do women actually like cum? That's just the question we ask, stupid. Yeah, but there's women answering. All right, answer it, tell us. Wait, do women actually like cum? I don't think they do. I don't know, Danny, you're up.

He's, if he's a woman, I'm fucking gay. Can I ask you a question? Yeah, please. So, one of the things that I'll never forget, I heard, you know, I don't know at what point, but it's sort of defined and shaped my understanding of what stand-up comedy was, was a quote, and I'm going to butcher it, but you basically said, stand stand up comedy is heroin, it's our heroin. It's even better than heroin, and so you have to get it, you need more,

if you don't have it. And the way you described it for the first time, I realized you weren't like heroin in a bad way. No, you were like, we're junkies, we can't get enough, we don't know what to do without it. Because so many people go, I need, I mean, even Pete Holmes, some of these guys, I need it. I need the affection, I need the affirmation, I need people to like me, I want them to, I need it, I need it.

But the way that you described it was, it is that addictive and we need it, we want to do it. But it's not like a naughty drug. It's like a cash level. I do this podcast called Caching in with TJ Miller. It's amazing. Cash level, he won the Best Invervisors alive today. He said to me once, he's a real sage.

He goes, Connie's the only drug where it's good for them and it's good for us. It's good for the dealer, it's good for the user. And I thought that was, he was the only drug like that. But when you said that, I mean, like I always wanted to ask you, like what do you think, how do you feel about that?

Is it a heroin, do you still feel like that now? Well, yeah, because like even tonight, you know, I've been going all day, you know, blah, blah, blah, family stuff, kids, blah, you know, I've been going all day, blah, blah, blah, family stuff, kids, blah, you know, wife. And then you come down to the pussy cat lounge, just 80 people, it's sold out, you get on stage, and as soon as you get up there, everything's gone. Everything is fun, all you are fucking anxieties, fears,

everything that my anger, my aloneness, my kid stuff, my wife stuff, you know, all of it's gone and you're on stage and you're doing your thing and people are with you. You're saying outrageous shit and they're come, you're saying whatever the fuck you want and they're coming with you and they're laughing. People that wouldn't like me if I met them at a party are loving me. And I'm loving them. And we're gonna buy you drinks afterwards.

And they just wanna go, thank you. Great job, after. And you do this thing, and it's an hour, and you say your night, and the place, there's nothing else to do but just, I mean, and we're the lowest form of entertainment. Like it's a people, you know what I mean? We're doing this thing and it's strippers.

Yeah, it's like we're doing it into this crap. The husband don't laugh. It's true, it's true. I'm gonna morocon theme 80s cedar. And these people have just had the best thing that's ever happened to them. And I just felt the same way. Like I walked off tonight like, fuck man, we just didn't.

Yeah, and they're walking away tonight. They're gonna go, man, that was snorkeling. Fucking fuck this black car H. If you do it right. And they, everything that you just said about yourself also happens for them. Their uncle has cancer, the daughter hates them. They're whatever.

The ticket, they just had a ticket, whatever it is. They've been sitting and just watching a podcast not laughing the whole time. Oh, sorry. He shouldn't see it. I don't know. Point the camera. He's not. Is he with you?

Shoot it. No, that's he's with me. He's the guy said that's what I don't know. That's how nervous I am to pronouns wrong. I don't know him. I don't know that he's with me. He said that's what I don't know that's how nervous I am to pro-nouns. He's wrong. I don't know him. I don't know me there. I thought he was with you.

No. Do that. Boy people I work with are wearing rave clothing from the waist down. You got you were those a pillow shoes. Everything. I just noticed there is hilariously. They're very uncomfortable. Yeah. So it looks like old school popcorn maker

It is you know he toward with his joke boy for a year and he gets those everybody on the tour Yeah, it's a Filipino slipper. So it's the same. Wow you got you. I know you Filipino. Is there it? Yeah, he looks like a Chinese Mexican Yeah, he looks like it's Chinese Mexican. Hey, Pio, because no one cares if they're racist against him. All right, so I think that happens for your audience too. So it's you feeling nothing except for that. The audience, nothing except for that. Happiness, the joy, the laughing, all that stuff. And then when it ends, you would think everybody clicks back

into the terror and the tragedy of life. But actually, there's a come down. Everybody's like, that was great. Let me buy you a drink on the way home. Man, that was so funny. Yeah, well, I like the guy before him. The one that's, no, he was really, it goes. And then hopefully at work the next week,

they have a moment where they're pissed and they go, I'm like, Robert Kelly's the thing about that. They get it and they go back to it. So those are like the flashbacks or whatever, like acid or something. Oh yeah, that's in your spine. There it's right there. And so then my other question is,

cause you're talking about family, taught problems with a wife, whatever. Do you to think that sometimes other people see us doing that, they see that, especially significant others. And they're jealous, envious, frustrated, because they don't have that. They don't have that outlet where they get on stage. Everybody loves it.

You mean like people that were married to and stuff like that? Or friends of yours who are civilians? No. Maybe, but my wife gets it. He's not in a relationship. Can't do that. No, I'm gonna thought. He lets guys.

But the cat eat my... He comes on Guy's Dicks. He's very... It's in Salt Lake. No, it's not the dick-dick-ditty. Oh, someone is! Can you help him out? Put that palm down.

I can't help it. I just... I just... Wait a minute, man. Without a web. I just created a gay thing, too dick, dig, dig, dig. It's come, I have come everywhere. I have gone, what I'm, what I'm, what I'm,

my, I'm lucky enough, my wife is a civilian. She doesn't, she's not into any of the, we're all civilians. You know what I mean? She's not in war. No, you don't understand what I'm saying. No, I do understand what you're saying, but it's like, no, you don't. She's a wife. You actually don't, she's a street. No, you don't understand what I'm saying. No, I do understand what you're saying. She's like, no, you don't.

She's a wife. She's a street. No, you don't understand what I'm saying. I'm a call my wife is a straight. We're left here in cigarettes. My wife is a civilian. She doesn't want anything to do with anything performing or getting up in front of anybody.

Anybody can live. I'm a white-blue human. We're mentally ill. A civilian. Yeah, I don't like that term. I don't care. Oh, go ahead. Go on, you're a fucking podcast with that don't like that term. I don't care. Oh, go ahead. Go on your fucking podcast with that dude

and use another term. Oh, dare you. She is a woman maybe. Way more for me than you. Listen, yeah, and that's why it works. Guys, that's work, guys. That's work. But what I'm saying is that she's a civilian.

She doesn't think that she, she doesn't know. She, and it also hurts because she doesn't even understand it We just did Boston comics come home 17,000 people. Oh my Rachel fine steen. It's Mark Marin. It's Billy Burr. It's Pete Davis and it's Alex Edelman It's Tammy pescatalia local killer Lenny and Rachel fine seen it so funny. I mean, but here it's all easy. It's unfa- they kill it. You know, you're on the show and I gotta go up somewhere in that list at the end.

And I'm like, I'm like, it's weighing on, it's here. You know what I mean? It's here and we gotta go up and just do it. And then you come off and people like, wow, that's so, you know, great. You know what I mean? They don't do it. And then you come off and people like, wow, that's so great. You know what I mean? They don't understand it. She'll never understand. She'll be like, listen, I gotta take Max.

And it's like, I just walked off. I just murdered in front of 17. The Boston fucking garden. This is where the Celtics play. I just, she's like, that was great, honey. Listen, we're gonna get Max. You know what I'm saying? Because also what she thinks is what I love for you.

But that's why I love her. That's why I love her. That's what I love. Is that they don't, it's like, there's no, it's what I do. She loves me. She loves what I can do. But it's like, Max needs to get something, your mother just called me.

It's like we're right back. Like call your mother, it's basically. We're right back to the, you know what I mean? I kind of like that. I think that's great. I think though that I suffer, especially because I riff so much and so much of it is just like get on stage and just do it and whatever it is it is. I suffer I think sometimes Kate and I had an ex girlfriend who did this I was on Transformers. It was very difficult

I Can call it that age of it. I was confused Michael Bay can't you can't you can't either and neither can I so good call. Thank you. I'm with you. It's true You know I wash my hands right now. Yeah, in come I haven't been this is hateful Congratulations, you'll always be funnier than we are so my feeling is I Come you guys have been sucking each other's dicks a whole night. We sucked your dick a little bit too Yeah, we love yeah, I didn't come I think I take a good long look at your tent. We don't want you to come your free You'll come on our dicks. Yeah, we don't need. Take a good long look at your tent. We don't want you to come. You're free. You'll come on our dicks.

Yeah, we don't want that. We don't want any, and I want any people. I am gone. If we go home on our dicks, we'll like come where it's all right. Like cat is gonna eat my things. I don't think you're gonna die alone. Go ahead, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, I'm into this thought.

So, I think that we suffer, and you feel this too. We all suffer from, we go up, we kill, then what people think is, well, it's easy for them. It's fun for them. Right. And from, we go up, we kill, then what people think is, well, it's easy for them. It's fun for them. Right. And also, we don't sit around going, oh, my God, right before the show is fucking freaking out. I was upstairs, and I was like, and then I saw us, I go, oh, my God, what if he comes down and sees me and I bomb and I, that we're not going to, that's not part of the story. And so I have had Cade when we're in an argument, kind of be like, well, you have fun doing what you do.

And I go, dude, I was just in the Dallas airport for five and a half thousand hours. The only thing I can do is eat a second terrible sandwich from somewhere because I'm trapped and I've bought everything I need from Hudson News. It's not a ton of fun. I go, the fucking manager keeps fucking it up. They didn't give me the I asked for the light of 35 I asked for light at 45 I got neither of them I did an hour and eight minutes in front of an audience on a second show Friday that would have loved me

But instead they're like that went on for a long time and it's not my fucking fault I asked for the light. They don't give me and then afterwards I go back. Hey, where's the light? They go. Oh, yeah, sorry about that. We'll figure I'm like this is the last show of the weekend So you can't figure it out next time. Yeah now. I'm fucked I don't like how the audience felt even though I did as well as I could without the only thing I needed was for you to look at your watch and shine a light at me and you Fuck that out because we're jacking off and coming on guys dicks on the top of it and there's a game And it fucks people's life stop now you got me

How fucking heated stop coming on dicks He's gonna go home the crowd didn't have shit and now you're coming on dicks and now it is coming on dicks and DJ the fucking crowd I'm fucking eating now All I've ever wanted to do was please people stop Weathe them someone answer me to I want to make a feel say hi. Well, I'm sorry dad. I'm not your father Okay, it is such an amazing honor to perform here at the Wilbur theater for all of my boys What a fucking weird. It's his. I'll take one's gayer than coming on a man's dick for five hundred.

Please. And that's the daily double. I will. Woo. I'm recording my special Sunday. I'll wait here. We're right here. This is his special way.

Where I do plug it right now. Sunday's the number three. My first hour special, the cutting room, New York City, two shows, seven o'clock, 9.30, eemfinance.com for tickets. It's gonna be great. It is. Do you steal my one shot? I'm a, yeah, to steal you two, too, sis.

That's my two, too. You got your special. I was behind that, I was behind on that the whole time. Still your two, I'm like, what, two, two, sis? Sis, that's fine. Wait a second. Yeah. Sis Jenner.

And your special is available? Dear Jonah streaming on my YouTube channel at TJ Miller. I also just released a newly improvised special from the Stanley Hotel where the shining was, the inspiration for the shining was, it was a Halloween special, it's great. Where is this? I just, it was in S's Park in Colorado.

Said it a full, I did a full special. And it's also behind the scenes and stuff, it's we gonna go to everything. And I also just released the Spokane special, which is like 30 or 40 minutes of me riffing, just about Spokane, Washington. And it's amazing. Cause there are so many references no one can ever understand, but it is so, so fun.

And then I have a documentary with this guy where we went to Philadelphia. I did stand up. We're there for the Super Bowl when it was the Eagle. This is the guy you were talking about. He's the one that saw and he's like, oh, fuck, this opening is so cool. And so, yes. And so, and, that Philly Special is coming down. We're finishing. We're through.

You two would kiss so sweet. And then I did, I did, dear Jonah was in Nashville. Three weeks later, I did a special in Tampa called the philosophy circus. And then less than a year later, I did special in San Diego called the gentle giant. So I did three specials in less than a year. Okay, so how many specials are up here? There's the Stanley special, the Spokane special and Deer Jonah and then yeah, it's all clips is what it's fun.

It's like, yeah, just subscribe to my YouTube and you'll see all the stuff. But I have, I'm about to work on the philosophy circus and that's coming out. And then I did it all, crowd work special in Springfield, Missouri. And that's coming out, I think, in like next month or something. That's good. You do it a lot of specials. Yeah, and they're all mediocre. Yeah, that's every single one. I'm all about the mean and the overclocking.

Are you going to be eating of the word special? Can I? Can I? Can I have another mediocre come get out? That's what you call it. But it's not true. Why would you sing it? Instead of a mediocre, I just turn into a, have you ever sang things?

It feels good. I know it does, but I don't do it in public. Why? It's not. He's all I do at home. It's shadows. I got questions from the fans for you guys. Yeah, that's cool.

Yeah. But, um, TJ, are you, are you gonna go stop? Why are you getting gayer? Cause I, he only gets gay. I'm excited. Slowly come out of the car. But you know what? It is fun, actually.

Yeah. You're on there. Who cares? When you just let it out and be yourself, you're already doing it with your face. Follow it with your voice. No. There it is. I fucking love it. Yeah. When you just let it out and be yourself you're already doing it with your face follow it with your voice No There it is fucking love it

I'm gonna come on your deck. Yeah, um listen. I'm taking you to the monster after this I don't know what that is, but I'm there. It's just you know. I'm seeing at 10 o'clock So I do have to go. All right. We're gonna go. Let's get this question. Oh monster it up. Okay, let's get these questions Um, I forgot my glasses. Fuck you. Will you get these questions. Oh, monster it up. Okay, let's get these questions. I forgot my glasses. Fuck you. Will you read the questions, please? All right, here we're gonna have them. We have the autistic kid do it.

All right, great. And read them. It's a surprise. Loudly and frowny to go. Go. All right, from Steve Siserale, Ian. That, how Ian versus you? Who is this for?

For Ian. And this is for you, focus. How sick was Blacklistedlisted get Bobby into hardcore Please yo, what dude one of my all-time favorite bands a hardcore punk rock band from Phil Delphi Name blacklisted they reunited. I went to the show. I staged I it was so fun. I sang all the lyrics I cried I got in the pit. I got some anger out, it feels good to be alive in America today. You gotta get in the hardcore music, Bob. You'd be.

I'm in the hardcore music. What, who do you like? The, the, the 10 zippers and the black fist and come on my dicks. It sounds like you're just a, it's just one man. It's not like you were naming Streek eggs from the New York.

The 10 zippers. Yeah, the Warriors. Yeah, come on my decks. Dude, black flag. I'm checking out. Give me three bands. Did you see the guy at Skankfest, the blind guy at Skankfest, who's stage dive, he's stage dove, but there was no audience.

Oh, that's bad, yeah. No, real? Because they were doing a mosh pit. Roodle. So he's blind. So the crowd was here, but then Lewis was holding them back to do a, you know, they all come together. Wait, wait, wall of death. And he goes, go. And we went go. They all left and went to the middle. And he's here going. It's like, it's like they, it was like a director was like, okay, in this shot, you're going to die.

And it's a bit, you see it. You see it, it's a bit. Scruffy at those shows, they do push bits and pushing at hardcore shows, we do two stepping and windmills and fucking spin kicks. I don't wanna take you guys to a hardcore show. Get your hands off me, I'll talk to you. A lot of this has to, and you don't do that. You guys don't drink. Yeah, I don't drink and use drugs.

Drinkers? Don't have a Grammy like that unless you mean it. Listen. I mean, scruffy bones. I mean, I mean, scruffy bones. I mean, this is to you. I mean, everyone says you're one of the nicest people to know. What would you say is your worst trait? Coming on Guy's Dicks.

I've heard that complaint before. One of my worst traits is I love too hard. Oh, really? No, I'm very annoying. Love on. I mean, that's like my worst traits is I love too hard. How really? No, I'm very annoying. Love that. I mean, that's like my worst. That was comedic genius. That was amazing.

I love too. That was honest. What? You really are a fucking annoying. Fucking people can't stand it. I was very nervous. I don't know that I would consider you annoying. I think at the most, I would say you're a lot.

That's true. That's true. A lot. That's true. I would say a lot. People used to call me annoying when I was young. I hated that. I ain't going to leave a thumbprint on this earth. I'm going to leave a big old smudge. I do love you. And you know what? I'm glad that you're, uh, you're, I'm very happy. You're successful. And you're having success with your podcast with her. Thank you. And you and you're doing well. And I hope you keep it level headed and stay who you are. Yeah.

I did have a little problem with you in Moontower. We got to a little fight, member. Uh, uh, I got to hear this. What happened? He ignored me. Oh, no, that was you thinking I ignored you. I didn't. I'm going to tell you this.

Tell me if I'm right or wrong. Let's do it. Uh, we're at the wind tower festival comedy festival And I he walks out of the hotel and he goes this he does this Hey, what's up? Hey, what's going on? I'm right there. What's up? Now I'm is I'm his papa You know what I mean? I mean I I wasn't person I didn't even acknowledge it when I was phone. He said doing this stuff. No, there wasn't a thing Bobby I didn't even acknowledge it. And they went by my phone and said,

I do all this stuff. No, there wasn't a thing, Bobby. And I went over to my girl, listen to me, you conks, actually. Yeah, yeah, you know what I was doing? You know what I was doing? I was doing it again. That's what you said.

I said, I'm your friend. When you see me, you look at me in the eye, and you come over and greet me, because that's what I would do to you. I love you. I grabbed you and I said, you say hi to me. No, it was going on with me, and it wasn't you? No, that's fucking awesome. But the woman with the penis and I said you said hi to me. Don't was going on with me and it wasn't you

No, that's fucking boss. The woman with the penis tonight before without a condom and Lock you and you you can't get AIDS anymore They have AIDS pills and I was look nobody dies of AIDS find all the texts I've said where I love you I love you and that's why I keep I said you and I said you Don't give festival on me be you because you're a sweetheart. Thanks. They you and that's why I keep, I said to you, and I said to you, don't give festival on me, be you, cause you're a sweetheart, thanks, stay you. And that's why I'm happy. That is so badass.

I don't even think I could do that. I fucking, you know what? I'll be the guy that's shown me through seeing your actions, what boundaries are and how to stand your ground for it. Well, people I like, I wanna keep liking it. I like you, ready? I love you. That's amazing.

TK Monette, read it. All right, T keep liking it like you ready. I love you. TJ. That's amazing. TK Monette. Read it. All right. TJ, it's you. Is most good comedy rooted in tragedy if recognized as a form of escapism in the face of modern death anxiety? I'm going to throw up.

I'm going to throw up. I love how mine are like. Here's your, here's like TJ. Here's a philosophical thing. We've been pondering. I'm not so fun. I like it. It's like, everyone loves you's a philosophical thing. We've been pondering for years. I think I'll fall. That was great.

Everyone loves you. What's your naughty trait? And then for me, it's like death is upon all of us. Do you look at directly in the eyes or do you try and get away from it until your parents mortality overtakes your understanding of any ability to deny what is ultimately your fate?

Read it again. Oh, God. Is most good Pombi rooted in tragedy if recognized as a form of escapism in the face of modern death and anxiety? Yeah, I think. No, I think I think listen, listen, all comedy to a certain set, you tell me, you know, I don't know. No, it's not. You need to do this fucking question.

Is is all comedy. I don't know what a semi colonist. You're not. You can just overuse it. That's what I'm saying. Ultimately, it's just if you were going to put a period, but the next sentence connects, put a semi colon. If it was going to be a colon, but it's not really the major like idea, the two sentences.

There you go. Yeah, I don't even know what that is. Like Ian Silerius, but he comes on Dix. There you go. Yeah, I don't even know what that is. I think it was like, Ian Salarius, but he comes on Dix. Um, which is gross. I think my question is, it's not the worst thing he does. Mike, uh, semicolon, it's the third worst thing he does. Have you ever ejaculated into the urethrave another man that's ejaculated? No, but the night ain't over.

The night's young, The night is young! If you come into another guy's pee hole, I'll... I'm not that kind of guy! Come down a shaft. What kind of guy is that? Do you think that good comedy or just comedy is all rooted in tragedy? Do you guys think that...

I think yes. I. I think it's based in fear, doubt, insecurity, love which in hate, and I think it's based in fear doubt and security love which in hate and I think it's all I think without tragedy without a good I mean I for me comedy is coming out of fucked up shit it's our only way to express us some people write poems some people act some people write songs stand up comics tell stories and make people laugh with their bullshit and and uh even if you're improvising you're going on stage you're going to do what's up with this

fucking jacket you know what I mean did you steal that off a fucking uh a living out in john yeah he did it and I bought it from her second city alarm it was a fire sale. Haha. Would you get this? So you're sort of saying that like, yeah, and no one goes into a conversation and it's like, everything's great.

Well, life is great. Everything in the world is great. Let's go have a laugh. I don't, I don't think that. Ian, yes. Thank you for calling on me. I don't think. Why are you getting gay or comedy? comedy because I you've made me feel

more comfortable turning it to Liza Manelli. I think I think that comedy is not necessarily sorry. Come on Libby. The barrage. Yeah. I like it. I know you do. Okay. I don't think comedy is necessarily rooted in tragedy. I think comedy for me is rooted in truth. And there is truth in tragedy, which can be comedic. It's just a matter of finding it. I'm sorry.

I think that's true. A lot of tease. But we're sort of, we're kind of saying the same thing. But to answer that individual who, and I'm not gonna pronoun them, but to answer that little fucking bitch, that sweet little pussy lickin' bitch. I think, I think that, yeah, some of the best, when I, the best things that I've ever done

are sort of, I call them comedies of substance, comedy of substance, but it is its tragic comedy, which is the thing that we did in Philadelphia. And it's like, yeah, and modern death anxiety, you're, if you really think about it, there's nothing after this. And it's really hard to make religion real or actually believe in it.

And so death now means something very different than it ever has before, at least since sort of Greece and the Epicurian approach to it. But yeah, it's like the comedy's really good when it erases or really reminds you, forget escapism. Instead of saying, forget about death. It sort of says, this is the reality of how tragic our existence is, but it's kind of hilarious. Yeah. It's sort of fucking ridiculous. So let's like laugh at it. So that's the answer. Praise Jesus. And some people

find me awfully annoying when I'm on their DIC. While I'm all getting gay. Hey, don't be fucking straight now. Fucking lura said to be a gay and then you turn out. Fucking Muppet. That's what sure on small. We got an Aaron from Rhode Island. I have to come on. We'll quick, quick, we'll quick. All right, go ahead. Hanukkah begins that sundown on December 7th. Who grew up the most Jewish, Ian, T.J. or Bobby?

It's probably me because I don't pay my podcast producers right. Well, that was his joke at the end. well. That was his joke at the end. Yeah, that was his joke at the end. That was probably who. He said it's probably me, as himself. I think he thought Bobby was going to read the question. Oh. Well, Bobby, you want to read it?

Or Robert, sorry, do you want to read it? Well, I mean, first of all, my podcast producers fuck up all the time. They don't deserve the money I give them. Right Max? Yeah, that's true. I listened to like an episode or two before I came in. And you said that exact, that sticks out in the, the your podcast that you're like, are these fucking idiots?

I mean, let me tell you something. He fucking, he, he, I mean, he put an ad up that had no bad sound and he put it up. And I, and I says, why would you put it? It says, gentlemen. Why would you, was it bad when you heard he goes, yeah, it wasn't that good. I go, then why wouldn't you say we need to do it over? He goes, I just thought we could do it. What are you doing? Oh, it's Liz. Uh-oh. Is that Liz? I have to go yet. All right, Liz. All right. Ian, oh, Ian now. Goodbye. He got yelled at by his. Liz. Uh oh. Is that Liz? All right, Liz. All right. Ian, oh, Ian now. Goodbye. He got yelled at by his. Liz.

One more, one more time about the, uh, the special December, December 3rd, the cutting room New York City 2 shows 7 and 9 30. Ian fight it. It's not common. I love you guys so much. Thank you. Sorry, Bobby voucher me that I'm not in trouble. Thanks. What are you doing?

You just hit the kid. Say sorry. I mean, that's terrible. Now, that's a JBL gift to yourself. Bye, buddy. That's why he comes undicks. He's not a good person. All right. Listen, what do you think about that guy really? I really, I really do love him. I'll tell you, he came to the, he came in with Star Vos, Star Vos' friend, and he was at the Comedy Cellar Christmas party. Not supposed to be there.

He's not, it doesn't work. It doesn't even work in the city. Doesn't even work, just came to the city. New comic, sitting there, eating away, playful of fucking food, and I went to Liz, I go Liz. That's Star Vos' friend. I go, I want you to go over there and kick food. And I went to Liz, I go Liz, that's Starvars' friend. I go, I want you to go over there and kick him. I want you to go, who are you?

And I want you, when he goes, when he tells you who he is, I want to go, are you a con? And then when you go, you got to go. This is a comedy seller, Chris Raspardi. Are you supposed to be here and let him answer? And she, I mean, dude, she walked over and he's like, Hey, hi, what's your name? He's like, hi, Ian Finance.

Are you, are you a comedy? Are you working at the comedy? Oh, no. It's a perfect impression, but. Played a food, played a food. I mean, fucking, food is my, he is so happy. She goes, do you work at the communism? No, I don't not yet. I mean I would I will hopefully someday

She goes you got to go he was like Okay, oh no, no okay, and he pushes the food push the food okay I'm sorry, and I walk over behind him. Ah Anyway, fuck me Oh, anyone fuck me! That's the way it flies! Dude, it was one of the greatest things, and I was so happy because he felt like he was in. Because you know, you feel, if I say this, people always say Patrice and Blubba is an asshole.

If he doesn't say something to you, that's... The meanest thing that he can do. That's the meanest thing you can do. That is such a perfect, are you a guy who can do perfect impressions of everybody but you never do them on stage? I don't do any impressions, any impressions. You just did too.

Thank you. Dude, I'm so glad I had you on. Tracey Morgan. Tracey Morgan. Tracey Morgan. I perfect. Yo. Pitch perfect impression.

Pitch perfect, you know. Who? I told you he's a fucking asshole. I mean, you perfect, you know. Brando. Who? Brando? I told you he's a fucking asshole. I mean, you said, you literally said two things. I say thank you. He stopped doing that when he cut all the weight. You were the fucker.

He yells out Marlon Brando. You've done it on other, I'm sorry. Shut up. Oh, I should pay you two dollars. It's part of your charm. How do you like doing the podcast? Well, seeing that don't make a lot of money on it, I love it. Because it's out of love. Yeah, that's exactly.

No, I love doing the podcast. I love, I like doing it. I like doing it. I like the way we're doing it now. It's less people. I used to do it like five or six, sometimes eight. And it was kind of a... I was surprised.

It was a running gun. It was a little hectic. Now it's a little more. it's a little funner. You know, I have people on that I want to do. It's a little slower. And I still love it. And I love these guys I work with. They're fucking great.

They're all young comics. I've seen them get better in the last year. You know, no, no, no, they're not good, but better. I use the word better. You know what I mean? They're never gonna make it. Like they're literally, they're dreams, it's not going to happen.

Like after this, they're back to whatever they did. Now I hear Ian, you know the back of my head say, it's funny because it's true. Yeah, that's pretty true. I wanted to ask also, so when you kind of do stand up now you said I think you were almost about to say The fat by pussy cat is packed out. It's you go on you do that Are you still sort of like that if you're in a room? It's a good audience? Maybe even not a great audience

Do you still want to get up, do the spot, have a set? No, not as much. What? When did that change? It's, well, it's always been that way for me. You know, like when I had to do comedy as a job, I had to do it. I had to go to these places and work these rooms and work all those shows and, and I would push through it like right now, I'm pushing through a new hour and trying to become better. So I hate it, I hate it.

You know, because I have a couple new jokes. And this weekend was the first weekend at like, okay, so comics come home. I try to do a new 10 or 15, 20 minutes every year, I do it, right? I've done it 12 years in a row. It's a set, so I gotta do a new set. So I had two new jokes that I wanna wrote this year.

One was a year and a half old or something like that. And it was, I fucking, I went up and did those jokes and they crushed. And I was like, they're completed. You know what I mean? It made me feel good. Like, I have two jokes because the way I write jokes, it takes years for a joke to become a joke.

I don't write set up punch tag. I'm gonna tell a story and then I'm gonna detail the fuck out of it and then I'm gonna polish it up and I'm gonna make it big as fuck and then I'm gonna shrink it and then I'm gonna detail the fuck out of it, and then I'm gonna polish it up, and I'm gonna make it big as fuck, and then I'm gonna shrink it, and then I'm gonna make it big again, and then it's gonna be perfect. You know what I mean?

I'm gonna have to happen. I get laughs, Bing, I grab your fucking neck, and I hold onto it until the end of my show. You know what I mean? Oh my end of my joke. I don't like to give you a breath. I like to just step on the neck, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing. That's

my style. And it takes a long time to get that. I just can't write a, you know, you see what happened on the news today. I can't do that. It's not my thing. I admire people to do it, but I don't do it. So comedy for me is fucking terrible and hard and awful until I get to the point where I have that hour that is done. And I'm like, and then I enjoy it for a little bit. And then I usually kind of fucking fall out of it. And I gotta come up with something new again, you know? Like I don't thought every once in a while I'll do an hour and I'm like, I am fucking good. Every once in a while I'll do an hour and I'm like, dude, I'm like, I am fucking good. Every once in a while, I'll do an hour and I'm like, dude, I'm a fucking motherfucker at least.

You're a beast. Put a lot of times, I'd be like, fuck. Like, you know, Colin Quinn says it. He goes, if you don't walk upstage, kind of fucking, I did that joke, shit. I did that or I said this, you're not a comic. We walk off stage going, fuck, a lot of the times. Like, ah, fuck, I could have done that.

I did that old joke. I said, ah, this fucking, I said that hack thing to him. But that pushes you all the time to never, people who think they're the best, I mean, you're garbage to me. garbage. And are you, because I actually just now, I'm at a place where all right jokes they work, but I'm like, I don't want to keep saying this. Yeah.

And so then I lose a lot of, you know, I could do 20 minutes, but I only like five minutes of it. So I discard the rest and I'm looking for a story like my Aristocats story. Right. So then of course, because I'm me, I do wanna ask, how much do you improvise? You improvise at all?

Are you riffing, dating? I go up in the front, and I fuck around all the time. I always go up in the front, and I'll, because I kind of get a cast of people that are gonna be in my show. Yeah, which is great. That I think is the highest form of sort of improvisational stuff. I go up and get a little cast,

you guys, and I know you can't, because you're a content, you're great, you're cool. I, you know what I mean? You're not gonna be able to get it. I get all those people, and I incorporate them into that hour. They're coming in and out of that. I'll even use, I cannot use the guy's name in the bit.

You know what I mean? But then when I go into my bit, like I have a bit about my tiny house, owning a tiny house, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, you own a tiny house. I do, yes. That's the other thing that sucks about my stuff is that I have to, I have to,

you really cut a lot of weight. I have. Hahaha. Killbox. I have, but I like, I like to switch things up. I like to do the joke. It's the same joke, but I like it to be done differently every time with different passion, a different energy, a different,

something somewhere a little more or a little less every time. It depends on the audience. Depends on the audience. You've got to have different, delivery for different audiences. And then have you ever rift, have you ever gone on stage with no jokes?

Is there a good question? No, because I have jokes. So I can't say that. No, I'm not really hurt. No, because listen. I didn't think this would end up with me tonight with a gun in my mouth going, No, don't do it, TJ. TJ, listen.

He liked the critics' choice of words. No, listen, listen, listen. I'll tell you why. Because, and that's it, listen, listen, listen, listen, I'll tell you why, because and that's it. And I go on stage. And like I said, I'll regret you go on stage, just hanging out, doing your shit. And then when it goes bad or something starts to feel a little off, I can just go to that joke, I think kind of sucks sometimes because I think in this stage of the game now, I have to do, I have to kill because I'm getting paid to kill and that's my job. I don't have money. Like if I had fucking a million in the bank where I could just take a year off and fuck

off and go and do stuff. And that's an excuse, by the way. I can do this, but it's an excuse. I would go and just fuck off. I would love to just go on stage with a thought and do it. But I like telling jokes. I like telling stories with details and punchlines. That's my way of doing it.

Like you do, you go up and fucking do whatever and freeze to, I love that about you. That's one of the things I love that you just go the fuck off, you're going down a road and you, I don't know where the fuck it's gonna end. I love that about you. I love Gary Gorman. He's one of the best joke writers out there and it's so crystal fucking precise and smart. I love it. Colin Quinn can take any topic and break it down to the fucking truth of it to make you

laugh. So for me, to be able to go up there and I, the jokes are there. So it's like, I can't really, I don't think I could just go up there and go off for an hour because I would be scared at one point and go I need to get a laugh. And I think actually I sort of with the flip side of that sometimes I have some material and I'll ditch that in favor in favor of improvisation. Yeah. Because I'm like what I wrote is not I'm gonna so out of you know, maybe fear maybe comfort Maybe cowardice

I'll recede into just Riffing yeah, and not even crowd work, you know I will I have been like a fuck this I'm gonna go into the crowd But I'll I'll go into, okay, that's not working. And I'll break the fourth wall, and there isn't a fourth wall, that's why I hated improv. I love doing it, but I hated that if you were bombing an improv, the audience said, every 10,

this is gonna be fine. Everybody in the improv group had every 10, that it's fine, there's just this sad moment of them bombing. And the audience being like, ugh, and no one in the improv team can be like, hey, this isn't going well. So we're gonna move on to the next thing. So I'll do that in favor of trying to make my next

sorta week joke work. So I'm always fascinated by the people that can go up and they've done this joke a thousand times and what they're trying to figure out is, if you should say, and, or also, whatever it is in that... Turned out, yeah. Well, yeah, I'll try to fuck it up, but I used to, when I hosted here,

I would go up an improv and kill, but my jokes wouldn't, I couldn't go back to my act. I had to stay into that. So I started going on the road, and I was like, oh fuck, if I went into my improv and set a fuck with the crowd, I was just going off,

it was so much better and fresh and then that, when I went back to the joke, it was like, what? So my goal was this, and I've pulled it off a lot of the times. You don't know a lot of people I like when they come up and go, did you just make that up?

Exactly. So I don't want you to know jokes. That's why there's people because I'm bringing them into the joke. I'm going, I'm using you to get into this thing and you don't know if I just made that the whole thing up or I'm just telling you a story or not. I like when they don't, did you, was those jokes? Yep, a lot of jokes. I have around, I could do just jokes if I wanted to. Right. But I like to go weaving and out so you don't know what I made up or what's, this is, you'll never see this again because it was with you and you and her. But these jokes, you'll see again, but it was also they're tried and true.

I'm not presenting to me. And that's Pete Holmes used to be great. I don't know what he's like now, but I talked to him and I do believe the best would be if you have a huge roll at X of just all the bits You've written over 10 years 20 years, whatever. And then you're riffing until you get to a logical moment to go into the joke. And that's why I use that joke. I've done that a couple times. I think that is really, really cool. You think about that as like, I feel guilty about doing an old joke that I've done.

But, you know, again, like I've talked to Quinn about this, who's my kind of guy, you know what I mean? I look at who I'm like, wow. It's like, you know, sometimes you gotta go back into that, you can go back into that joke and bring it out. And it's fun and fresh maybe, because you haven't done it in two years. Well, comedy's become rock and roll, which kind of sucks.

Because now, I've seen that joke, let's hear that joke. Yeah, it's not like, well, it's like, dude, I heard that before. It's like, okay, I get it. And comics are putting out a new hour of material every year because that's how they make their money and Netflix makes their money.

So it's a weird time where I think back in the day an hour took three years. Yeah, exactly. Nate Bargazzi, I remember I saw him drawing in a bar somewhere, he was like, I don't believe in this Louis CK thing. It shouldn't take you a year to make it, should take you two years, three years as long as it takes to perfect it.

Obviously, that worked, but also Netflix is pushing him to do this. So I agree with you, but for me, especially with what I do, yeah, I can do the Spokane special, the Stanley. Yeah, but nobody's doing what you're doing. Like I'm doing kind of, it's not great. No, no, I don't think so, dude. I think, seriously, be quiet. I don't do it, I don't, I look at man,

you're unique to what you do, man. You know, there's a lot of people doing the same shit right now. They're right, they're doing crowd work stuff or they're doing, that's not good. No, there's a lot of that. And they didn't do crowd work before, but now they gotta get clips and everybody's have for clips.

Favorite thing about being a New York comic now, sort of where you are in your own empire, you're one of the kings, all that, and least favorite thing about being in New York, I'm not. Well, the Arabs. No, I'm kidding. I mean, like we were talking about, you know, the whole palestine. Jesus. I'm kidding. Are you talking about, you know, off camera, the stuff you were saying earlier, off camera, about how to shakill a wall.

That's, forget which one did you say, teacher, did you say, which side did you say? That's the one thing I love about New York City, is that when you look out into the crowd, it's fucking everybody. You got Jews, you got Arabs, you got Black, you got Puerto Rican, you got White, you got all of, well not too many of those.

But, I mean, do you really do? We had a clip where there was, you know, there was German next to June, next to Arab, next to, I mean, everybody was in the crowd. And especially at the seller, it's a place with a world. Tom came from all over the world to go check. And they laugh at it, and it's a, you know,

so I don't know if there's anything bad about, a New York city to me is I've always said it you want to be a stand-up comic you move to New York you want to be famous you go to LA and that's not a bad thing There's two you want to be the best there's two things Quintinently they're both the only art forms that were invented in America. Stand up comedy and jazz. Those two things, if you want to be the best in the world, not in the United States, in the world, Paris, fucking jazz musicians. If you can really do it, if you really want to do it, move to New York. Same everywhere in the

world. So, and yeah, musicals also word for Yes, it's Idaho, but Stand up comedy and jazz the best people in the world doing it here Yeah, you know how much their money you know much money they're making nothing. Yeah, no making fucking $25 or $75 $150 that's it and they're doing multiple sets and the jazz musicians I'm taking him to this jazz club called mesrome My buddy owns it. It's amazing Those guys do three sets in a night and they walk home and they're Amazing that they made five hundred dollars. Yep. It's the most thing and they're so good that during the pandemic

I went to mesrome and I surprised Kate for her for our anniversary and I rented out the club because everybody You know it's pandemic and I said despite I go, do you want to do, can it be your trio? Do you want to play? He's like, TJ, it's the pandemic. Okay. Nobody's working. I'm going to get you some of the best jazz musicians in the world. And it was so real that I go, whoa, and he said again, in the world. And then we went and these fucking guys, it's just a trio. It was a bass player, drummer, and a piano player. They played and we couldn't fucking believe it. And then they're like, do you have any, you know,

a request or something? Kiko's I love Chad Baker. Can you play? And before she finished the sentence, he went into my funny Valentine, which I don't know a lot about jazz. Kate knows, I went into my funny Valentine. And I don't know a lot about jazz. Kate knows I went into my funny Valentine and I swear to God, both of us started crying like within a minute or two.

I started act like for reals crying, like can't stop. So why am I trying to hide it as a man? And it was so fucking real and I realized like, this is true. And then I think like not, but like a while later, I went and I saw a tell here murder. And then I saw him go up at the stand, yeah, late night, and have a really rough set. Yep. And it was still fucking incredible. And I was like, this is it. This, this is why I'm here. This is why we come here. If I can even include myself in the week. Absolutely. This is why I'm here. This is why we come here, if I can even include myself in the week. This is why we come here because you can do it, the highest, most elevated form, and also

you have to do the work. You have to do the work. And if you think any of these people don't do the work, then watch God-free to after he's murdered. Closed every set all week, then go to Indiana and have a pretty fucking rough show on lay on the front. And then you get screaming white girls. All knocking afterwards.

Shut the fuck up. No. No, he's, I mean, you're right. I think it's well said, gov free, the towel, Quinn, Norton. You, well, even the younger guys too, all the people that are here now, you, Ian, Jordan, Simon, and Son. I mean, it's a constant flow, a machine of holy shit comics. And it's the best, but I think I was interested if you were going to say the thing I don't like about

New York is this. So I love that you said nothing. There's nothing. But I think, you know, in your position, is it strange to be sort of at the top, the top top top of New York comedy with Louis and it's hell and these people that are, is it strange to be there and what does it feel like to be there? I don't, I don't even, I don't even think about it.

There's not even a thing about it. No, I don't think any of us think of it. It's just that you know where you know I'm sitting at the table with you know Norton or some dude I don't even fucking know and we're all sitting there and we're all about to do the same thing and it's like you know I we've we just been here longer, you know what I mean? And I won't be here someday, you know, that's the thing. There was guys that were here when I got here. So I'm just grateful that I'm still sitting at the table with the young bucks. There was guys at the table when I came here, I don't know where they are.

You know what I mean? So to be able to sit at the table with a towel and you or Quinn or and these young kids, I don't even fucking know their names, I've never seen them do stand up. And I'm like, what's up? To still be at that table and know that I can go on stage and fucking crush it and do good and fuck around and hang with the New York level of comic is awesome to me. I don't think any of us look at ourselves as like we're the elite because we're all just going to the club to have a to try a new joke to become better, to have new stuff so that we can still feed that thing.

You know, we're just trying to feed that thing. Because if we don't do new shit, if we don't go on stage, if I'm looking at Norton, he's, oh, fuck, he's so good. If I go over and I see Colin, motherfucker's talking about that goddamn constitution, what?

It's not funny. You know what I mean? And I'm sitting there doing the same thing. I'm still fucking a stool like I was 20 years ago. Yeah. You know, that's the thing that you can go on stage. We don't have a fuck. No one ever goes to a great set.

I've never heard great set for my friend. We go downstairs, we do what we do, and then we come up and we fucking commits, and we have some food, and then, you know, we bust balls and we talk about something, and then you leave. To be still part of that is crazy to me. But don't you think that it's because you've never had

a great set that people don't say great set? The fuck are you laughing at? I've never thought of that. You never thought of it. Maybe that's right. And then I'm always interested in this, because everybody has, when a young buck, you say like when some young comic comes up to you

and he's like, what's the secret? Or maybe it's not even, it's just like, what's your, you've always said this, what's your advice for like a young comic starting out? What's the secret? Or maybe it's not even, it's just like, what's your, you've always said this. What's your advice for like a young comic starting out? What do you say? I said what Joe Rogan said to me, fucking 28 years ago. Just get on stage.

Just work. You just get, there's no, listen. If I tell you advice, I'm telling you my advice that worked for me, you know, you know, I'm telling you my advice that work for me. You know, just get on stage. Don't listen to anybody. Don't fucking ask anybody's a pe- I know you want me to say you got it, kid.

Yeah, exactly. Fuck all that. And you get on stage, kid. You might have it, but I don't know until you get on stage. I won't even know that. Get on stage as much as you can and you will become who you're supposed to become.

That's the only way you'll know. That audience and you make those decisions together. I can't help you with that because if I listen to Maria Falsoni and Dave Fitzgerald from Boston, I would have been a clean comic writing fucking Leno jokes. Yeah, right. I would have been a clean comic writing fucking Leno jokes. Yeah, right.

I got no fight with that, but comical fuck themselves and wrote my jokes. You know what I mean? I went down my road. You know what I mean? So, you know, I went up to Joe Rogan, what do I do? And he was like, just, there's no advice. There's no advice.

Get on stage. And that was the greatest advice I ever got. And I give that to every kid just because this business will filter you out. If you're not funny, you will get smushed out. Yeah, there's no room for it. I went up, the person I did that, I went up in Ornie Adams was headlining at the DC in Bruv.

And I went up to him and I was like, hey, I'm a young comic sort of staring at him. And he was like, yeah, yeah, I'm trying to, see that girl in the front? God, she's so hot hot man. I'm trying to see if she'll tell me okay I guess I don't talk to this guy then I'm up to his feature is this guy to him buddy I haven't seen or heard of him and I said to him hey, do you have any advice for a young comic story? I don't usually just go up and bomb just bomb just go up there and bomb Over and over and I was like what the fuck is this guy talking about? I don't wanna bomb.

Yeah, what a fucking idiot. I understand what he meant was like, it doesn't matter. Just go up and don't care and eat shit. That's fine. And keep going. So to bring it back, just to you were talking about sort of other actors and actors around each other and super famous people and we're talking about movie stars

all that stuff, right? So I think the difference between actors and comics is, and this is what I love about comics and why I've always related to them and all my, all my friends are comics and my, the only true like friend friend I have is Ethan Supply who's an actor. That's a truly that's the only guy. Jay bearish all I think is amazing. Dude, I'm friends with him for sure.

On a Ferris. Yes, but really Ethan and all the dude. I'm friends with him for sure On a fairest yes, but really Ethan and all the Actors that I'm friends with are comedic actors, but I think comics have this bomb because even if I don't like your set I don't like what you're doing you bomb your mean to me. I don't know You're looking at your phone and not having you're having festival energy against me all of that Still every comic you have this baseline respect, I believe this about New Yorkers, but you have this baseline respect

for the person because they're doing it. They just went up there, it's just them, they're just as nervous, or they don't give, or whatever. And so because of that, you have this sort of respect. And any time you get somebody who's like, tell me if I can suck, are you kidding me? Especially in the cellar. But everywhere I fucking hate.

Anyone who says that, you're like you suck. Actually, you're the dude who sucks. Because you're trying to act like, I'm gonna dismiss that guy. That guy just got up into the same thing without anybody that you're about to do. And you can also suck and you also might eat shit and you and so because of that to me comics that's the most interesting

fraternity of any artist because painters my wife's an installation artist painters don't have that with each other maybe they got a god and when I'm painting and so do it but it's not right there in front of people where you can have a room of silence and feel like you want to kill yourself on stage. And then you have to crawl off and hope that you can either get another set or that you can get drunk enough to forget how bad that went to wake up

and go, what the fuck happened last night? Well, let's do it again tonight and hopefully it's better. Yeah, well, comics too is, when you fucking die and bomb The first thing you do is call another comic because we're like yeah, dude You know we're fucking yeah, I just bomb too. I mean nice me and Vos would call each other Coming back from shit gigs Shit audience no ticket sold driving hours back in our fucking cars

Just talking about Nissan Centras. Yeah, I mean, seriously, fucking Honda Accords, and we would just be like, dude, fucking, I had this and that and this motherfucker, and we would just crack up about where we were at. The waitress told me to be quiet because I'm interrupting her chicken tender order. Oh, dude.

I'm like, can we not do such... I'll be done in one second. And the first couple times I headline, I freaked out, I called the sky, Isaac Witte, who's amazing. I called Tignotaro, and I go, I'm bombing in Kansas City. I cannot, the check draw comes, I'm dying. I am dying out here. Can I see the improv?

Stanford in Sun. Oh, smooth. And so, yeah, that was you know the first when's there They were doing beer bands $20 all you could drink you get the wristband But they were serving him in the small plastic cups and then they told the waitresses Serve him and don't go back for like 10 minutes Sir when's angry where's my beer? They're trying they're so drunk the older five at a time because they're so small Eating it and I called TIG and I call Isaac and I'm like walking around the fucking motel of my husband

Go on oh my god. What am I gonna do and they both said the same thing they both went Yeah, unfortunately the only way to learn how to headline It's to headline to it. You got a bomb and that's what it is and so Those types of conversations you're right. They only happen, you know between comics. Yeah, and that's what it is. And so those types of conversations, you're right, they only happen between comics. And it's just not the same. If you're acting, you know, it's just, you don't, the risk is not that high.

You know, it's- Well, you bomb the acting. Stakes are not that high. If you bomb an acting, that's forever. You bomb a comedy. It's just that night. It's that night, right? It's just that night. It's just that night. It's just that.

And you got another show coming up. You know what I mean? Yeah, and you got to do it. And in New York, but that heroin thing I always thought about you saying that because in New York, and it's chasing the drag, in New York, I do. I will. I'm not happy about that set.

I got to figure out where to get another one. Are you guys still performing the stand? Can I get up over there? What's still going on? Is the strip still happening? Are they doing, you know, additions tonight? It's Tuesday. Can I get up? The only reason I didn't work the seller for a long time, and the only, I live near here. That's part of it. But the only reason I really, really wanted to be a comedy seller comic was because they were the ones at one more show. We have one more show. Can I get one more spot?

I know it's 130 in the morning, but let me hit just, give me five minutes, six minutes. That's when I started understanding that in New York, that's when I really connected with your analogy of that sort of heroin-like sort of component or element to stand up. And I do absolutely want to say that like, to have that respect is a comic,

it's like you considering me a comic, Louis sort of be like, yeah, of course you consider this is for comics. But also, it's just that is more to me and always will be than any movie star, I've worked with Steven Spielberg. I cannot say how much it means to me the pot, the things that he said to me, well, of course, it was you.

We wrote the all that. It's incredible, but a great comic, a legendary comic sort of being like, yeah, man, that's funny. That's hilarious. Yeah, I love that. I love it. That to me is the highest form of sort of veneration that I could ever hope for. And so it's incredible that you asked me to be on your podcast with such shitty producers.

Yeah. And they don't give a fuck. They're looking their phones. They don't give a shit. They don't give a fuck about you. That's not sure. They're looking at you as a gateway. They's not sure. They walk you as a gateway. This saboteurs.

There's saboteurs. Yeah. They will, if you said, hey, I'm doing a podcast tomorrow, I need three producers, they would leave me tomorrow to be with you. Five seconds. And I guess I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to announce on the show,

but you're pretty sure, huh, dude, is my podcast. It's coming up. We're gonna start it tomorrow. You're pretty sure, huh, dude, is my podcast. It's coming up. We're gonna start it tomorrow. You're pretty sure, huh, dude? Yeah. That's such a better name. You're pretty sure, huh, dude? I got these three guys on it. I'm anum, big box.

Good. And give them sugar. And I have a throne that's just a little bit smaller, dude. It's still pretty good. I love you, man. I'm so glad you came on. Oh, so fun. And I'm so glad that we got to hang out a little bit now that we're I'm going to start a podcast because I want I want to invite you on it. Dude, I would love to come on your podcast. I don't have one really.

Look at this. You're all over the fuck. I'm all over the place. I'm not having a website. Com House of Comedy, called a grand rapids for no reason. Traverse city. Who the fuck knows what's going on there? Why is that a little deal with the balloon coming down your site? That's a hamster. Yeah. How's the comedy gonna grand rapids for no reason? Traverse city, who the fuck knows what's going on there? Why is that little deal with the balloon coming down your site?

That's the most adorable. It's a hamster, yeah. I love that, what is that? It's a little hamster on a balloon. And you can play with them? Sure. Dude, you are so fucking interesting. It makes me sick that my fucking stomachs.

It's great, thank you. Who does that? Is that you? You know, who does that? Not super funny, but very interesting. You're fucking hilarious. Thank you, man. I loved being on this.

T.J. Miller is not a website.com. I'm a tick-tock. I'm a tick-tock. That's all that stuff. Of course. Subscribe to my YouTube, because we got specials coming out. There's always, there's already specials up there. Wait till you see Philadelphia and Chicago and the European tour.

All of that's coming out. But most of all, listen to this podcast. I know you just did. Yeah, they did. Watch this podcast the second time. Listen to me. I want to make sure that you go to his stuff, go to Ian's stuff, make sure you check out Ian's special, and fill up the room for him if you can't.

If you see this, buy the tickets, get it because it's very important to us to pack those rooms up when we shoot these specials. We need to, you don't want empty seats and I've seen it. I've seen comics have empty balconies and don't do that. Just go out by the ticket, support that show. Make sure you go, guys, what do you got? Go quick. Max Marcus comedy, all social media. Faster at Danny Braff on Instagram. He's a cheese show on YouTube. Eric, what do you have? Too slow and also lower your voice. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Uh, Eric from a do me.

And uh, Robert Pellelife.com go to buy all my tickets. I'm touring until next year. And then, uh, yeah, I'm ever with comedy works in Prove the port. I'm at the Brutal live. I'm all kinds of stuff. So please go there, get your tickets, and it's supposed to be that bonfire every day. Of course, money too. Oh yeah. Oh, fucking amazing. Bonfire, the U on there.

It's so amazing. I would love to do. But big J and U is like the perfect. I love that guy. And I love Soda to death, because we're both Colorado kids, but I think you're a lot funnier. Whoa, don't you say?

Don't say that. Don't say that. Yep, okay, you can say that. Better lot funnier. Whoa, don't say, don't say, don't say, okay, you can say, pet agree, I'm a better petter. Better body. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. What'd you say? I plug in in states.

Yeah, of course you can. It's gonna be in Louisville, Kentucky, homestead, Pennsylvania, New York City, Philadelphia, Calgary. They stop listening, and after. Hey, listen, listen, don't say homestead. It's in Pittsburgh, it's in Pittsburgh, in Broadway.

Oh my knee. All right, I gotta go eat something, don't say homestead. It's in Pittsburgh. It's a Pittsburgh improv, right? Oh, my knee. Yes. All right, I gotta go eat something. I'm feeling peckish. We got go to comicribles.com. For all you YKWD gear, and use the code word ladybugs, get 20% off. But do me a favor. If you're watching this on YouTube, it's the end.

I know. You probably already clicked, just hit subscribe, hit like, and comment. Smash that. And go to patreon.com, search robberkillelive live.com if you really want to be a big boy. Don't make this a thing. It's like I don't want to do different for you. Love this thing. Don't use a word donate supporter. I didn't say that. You said donate. No, I didn't. You said donate. I say donate. No, I said don't. Oh, sorry. Don't eight. Well, don't eat or ate that. No, don't be the guy.

Don't be the person that is watching. He's like, yeah, this is free, but I should probably should give something on a page. Just fucking $5. 10. 10. I do 25 of this and things. I want some money.

$20. Just give a little bit of money for something as great as this. I think that's really important. You guys are the best. Pushing in with TJ Miller is my podcast. Host Cash, Levy, he's doing an interview show. He's a tough time getting guests. I've been the only guest on it for seven years.

Caching in with TJ Miller. Yeah, thank you for having me on. Thank you for coming on. We'll see you guys next week. Speeling Packish and when he doesn't get food, he stinks. You know what, dude? Podcasts. See you next week. Me voy a dejar una pregunta. Gracias por venir. Nos vemos en la próxima semana. ¡Packish! Y cuando él no tiene la comida, ¡pues! ¡Packish! ¡Packish! ¡Packish!

¡Packish! ¡Packish! ¡Packish! ¡Packish! ¡Packish! ¡Packish! ¡Packish! ¡Packish!

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